#But sincerely hope that your reason for having kids wasn’t as selfish as my parents

[jo-harrington]

“Wish I had never been born” but not in a “kill myself” kind of way. “Wish I had never been born” in a “neither of my parents should have been allowed to procreate” kind of way.

How many D6’s of psych damage do I need to roll God? Jesus fucking Christ.

[ppascalsstuff]

After all this time. [Dieter Bravo x f!Reader]

Summary: Dieter Bravo was born to a family whose lack of love could seem as a fairly accurate answer for his behaviour as an adult. His parents were famous actors, and therefore, absent parents. But none of that was the reason why the one and only Dieter Bravo was a jerk.

Warnings: Angst. Mentions of drugs use and miscarriage. Failed relationship. Reader has a dark haired son and there’s a physical description for Dieter, but reader is not described. 

Author notes: One week to meet our dino boy yas!! I’ve written this some weeks ago but I’m feeling like posting it today. English is not my first language, sorry in advance if there’s some typos. Hope you enjoy it!

Liar.

Jackass.

Pathetic.

Selfish.

Rude.

There were never enough adjectives to describe Dieter Bravo. And all of them had followed him like a shadow, clanging to his head hard enough to leave him exhausted, waking up many nights surrounded by cold sweat and panting so hard his chest ached.

He knew he could do better, but why? He didn't have the strength to be a better person. At the end, there weren't any rewards. You weren't there. Trying didn't make sense anymore, so he chose the easy way out.

Everyone who had had the chance of working with him would say the same: he was a spoil little brat. Dieter tried to play it cool, like it didn't bother him. Even trying to create a character out of it. A lame excuse for poor actions.

Dieter Bravo was born to a family whose lack of love could seem as a fairly accurate answer for his behaviour as an adult. His parents were famous actors, and therefore, absent parents. But none of that was the reason why the one and only Dieter Bravo was a jerk.

He loved you. It was almost painful how much he had loved you. You took the time to heal his soul and make your way into his heart. Both of you shared the same passion: acting. You didn't pursue money or fame -Dieter having too much of it during his childhood-. It was true love for acting, the same sincere love you two shared. His parents didn’t like you, of course. You weren't enough for him. But Dieter? Dieter thought you were more than he could ever ask for. You saw him and the world with so much love and kindness it wasn't even fair how lucky he was.

When you told him you were pregnant, Dieter swore his little kid would grow up surrounded by love, and he would be there to make sure of it. It wasn't like he had a demanding career at that time anyway, and he was able to spend most of his time at home. A couple of months after that, the big deal came along: the movie that would make him an Oscar winner. He wasn't sure about it at first. You and your little one were his top first priorities.

"It's going to be okay. It's only two and a half months in Croatia" you assured him. "And this movie seems like a really big chance"

"I don't want to be away from you that long. Now more than ever" he caressed your belly, resting his forehead against yours.

"It's gonna be okay" you cupped his cheek, kissing his nose "And we are going to miss you as well, but I'm sure he'll take good care of me. Almost as good as his daddy does"

Dieter pulled away slowly, tears gathering in his eyes and smiled at you with so much devotion.

"Are we having a boy?"

He knew it. He knew he should have said no to the offer, even if you were right: it was a great opportunity. How could he leave you pregnant with his baby boy for two and a half months? But it was too late. The pain rushed you like a crashing wave, and before you could realize it, you had lost the baby. Dieter had never expected that call. All he wanted to do was to forget your cries over the phone that night, waking up to you next to him and rest the flat of his palm on your belly, like he just woke up from a bad dream. But it was real.

When he came back to you everything had changed. You felt guilty of losing the baby, and Dieter felt guilty too for having left you for so long. But nobody was guilty and there wasn't anyone to blame but life itself. Dieter soon became one of the most important young actors, and the fame began to consume him from the inside. He wasn't the same Dieter anymore: parties, drugs and alcohol helped him forget about his son and, sadly, you.

Things had reached the point where you couldn't take it any longer, and Dieter was too high to even think or care about it. That's when you left, because it was better to grief alone than having to sleep next to your son's father. A man who you didn't recognize anymore. But you didn’t blame him. You couldn’t blame him.

Years had passed and people had fallen in love with your hardworking, kind and generous soul. Directors and studios were fighting in order to have you in one of their movies. It was easy for you to accept a cameo on Cliff Beats 6, your six year old son being a fan of the franchise.

The door of the makeup trailer opened abruptly, and a slightly annoyed Dieter Bravo emerged from it. He stopped dead, and so you did. He looked older, the earring trying to erase some years away, and you could spot the greys in his hair and stubble, but he did look good.

"Mom, it's Dieter Bravo" Nick, your son, whispered. "Hi Mr. Bravo" Dieter only looked at him over his sunglasses.

"Nick, honey, could you go find Rebecca? She's in our trailer. Tell her I need a word with her" you smiled sweetly at your boy, ruffling his black hair.

"Sure mom" and with that, Nick was running to your trailer.

"Hi Dieter"

"Mom, huh?"

"Yes" you glared at your son knocking on your trailer door.

"And the father?" Dieter asked, either out of jaelousy or interest, but he regretted asking the question as soon as the words left his mouth.

You chuckled. Oh how he had missed that sound.

"I adopted him when he was two. His biological mother never talked about his father" you explained with sadness in your eyes.

Dieter almost felt his heart breaking a little. 

"He seems nice" was the only thing he could say.

"He is. He's the best"

"Mr. Bravo, it's time" a beautiful lady approached Dieter.

"I guess I'll see you around" you nodded as Dieter began to walk away.

"Dieter" he turned around at the sound of your voice. "If you want to have a coffee sometime, you know where my trailer is"

At that moment, Dieter thought about all the bad things he had done in his life. How miserable he was and how poorly he had treated the people around him. But now, maybe, he had a chance to change that, to be a better person. Because of you. It had always been because of you.

"Of course" he removed his sunglasses "Let me know when you are free" 

And even with the bloodshot eyes, the dark circles under his eyes and the wrinkles, Dieter Bravo smiled genuinely for the first time in a very long time.

[herherteartear]

will you be gone? | bonus : eighteen point five / brunch w Taehyung 

 — word count : 1491

 — a/n : my first ever written chapter!! how’d you like it? anything I could've done better? hope you enjoyed!

Your hands couldn’t stop shaking. Sure, you tried to play it off cool in front of your friends, but you were pissing your pants in nerves. The thought of meeting Taehyung after so long was terrifying. Your son, Myung-dae, seemed to notice the trouble you were having with the buttons on his sweater. His doe eyes blinked up at you.

“Do you need help, momma?” He asked. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You raised your hand to caress his cheek.

“No, baby, I’m okay.” You smiled. Finally getting a grip of yourself, you finished buttoning the three buttons on his sweater. You grinned proudly at your work (both your son and his outfit). Myung-dae ran off the second you were done. He threw himself onto the ground of your living room where his legos were scattered. You turned to glance at yourself in the mirror hung up.

You’ve changed a lot since Taehyung left. It was hard to adjust to abruptly becoming a single mother. It was hard to push away the fact that you had also become an ex-girlfriend too. Your broken heart and your anger was pushed to the side in order to focus on Myungie and to provide for him. At some point, it became too much. Your family and Jungkook stepped in to help. That became a turning point.

You were able to focus on yourself a little more without worrying about Myungie and his needs. Then you were finally able to feel the pain, the hurt, the anger. For a second, you really did hate Taehyung. How could he have left you with your son? How could he have left you? Thankfully, time truly does heal all wounds. As time went on, you found yourself thinking about him less, hating him less, and being happier with the little life you created for Myungie and yourself. You’d be lying if you said meeting Jimin and Seokjin didn’t help. They really helped. Seokjin helped.

Staring at the woman in front of you, you smiled.

“Does he still look the same?” “Does he have a matching mark on his arm, too?” “Will he carry me on his shoulders?” Myungie was full of questions the whole ride to the restaurant. You and Taehyung agreed to meet there in order to help Myungie feel more comfortable. With the car parked, you turned in your seat to face your son. His big, chocolate eyes never failed to warm your heart.

“You remember that?” Myungie had been so little when Taehyung left. You weren’t expecting him to remember anything about his dad, so the fact that he remembers the times his father would perch him on his broad shoulders, surprised you. Myungie played with his fingers.

“No, but I found a picture in your old room.” He mumbled. You bit your lip. After Taehyung left, you moved out of the room you two shared and into the guest room. You knew exactly which picture he was talking about.

“He does have the same two marks as you on his arm. Maybe you can ask him about it.” You said softly. You sent Taehyung a quick text to notify him of your arrival before getting yourself and Myungie out. You gripped your son’s hand in yours as you shut the car door.

“Daddy!” Myungie shouted. He let go of your hand to barrel into Taehyung’s arms. You spun around in shock to see an equally surprised Taehyung clutching your guys’ kid to his chest. Neither of you could stop the smile that spread over your faces.

“Hey, Myungie.” Taehyung mumbled into his son’s neck. He made eye contact with you. Both of you shared a small smile.

“So why’d you leave? Why come back now?” You cut right to the chase. After sitting down and ordering your food, Myung-dae had finally gotten over the high of seeing his dad. He now sat on Taehyung’s lap, fully immersed in your phone. Taehyung slightly choked on his sip of water. Myungie gave his dad a worried look before saying,

“Don’t choke.” You stifled your laughter at your son’s bluntness.

“Thanks, bud. Um, wow, getting right to it, huh?” He forced out a chuckle. You shrugged.

“I’ve waited long enough, haven’t I?” Your eyes suddenly seemed very interested by the table you were sat at. Taehyung reached over to grab your hand.

“You have.” He said in his deep voice that once made you go wild. Now, not so much. You pulled your hand out of his grasp. Taehyung cleared his throat before beginning his story. “I never told you this, but when we found out you were pregnant, I was planning on proposing. I decided not to because I didn’t want to add any more pressure on you; I figured I’d just do it after he was born.” Taehyung gently held one of Myungie’s hands. He was going to propose? You felt the air being knocked out of you. “Except, once Myungie was born, everything changed. I realized all the plans we had, we wouldn’t be able to do them anymore.”

“What? What are you talking about? Myungie could’ve come with us! Wouldn’t that have made it that much more special?” You cut in, now getting irritated. You couldn’t believe Taehyung had even felt that way. The moment Myung-Dae was born, your life got so much brighter.

“Yes, of course! But, yn, I was so dumb back then. I was dumb and selfish. I wasn’t ready to be a dad.” He sighed. Before you could even open your mouth, he said, “And I know you weren’t ready to be a mom. But you adapted better than I did. None of it felt right to me, the whole being a parent. I hated myself for feeling that way, but I couldn’t help it, y’know? Anyways, I guess my peabrain came up with leaving as a solution and, well, I did.”

Your eyes maintained on the table. The wood was slowly chipping off of the edges, but the middle still looked in wonderful shape. A part of you had known Taehyung left because he wasn’t ready so you’re not surprised. You wished he would have talked to you about it, though. You sighed. The past was in the past now. Everything happens for a reason, unfortunately.

“I know what I did was wrong. I know I should’ve come back the second I left, but I didn’t. I can’t apologize enough. But you need to know I am truly, deeply, sorry. Yn, I’ve grown from who I was. I’m here now to fix my mistake and to raise our son. Together.” Taehyung held your gaze. If there was something that never changed about Taehyung, it would be his sincerity.

“It’s been such a long time, Tae. I wish I could be angry and yell at you for leaving us, but I can’t. I know you. I know you want to fix this and I would love to raise our son together.” You felt a weight lifted from your chest. You had been living for years with baggage, that clearing this up with Taehyung, made you feel physically lighter. You cleared your throat and sat a little straighter. “But what we had, that’s gone now. I’m doing this for Myungie, not to get my ex-boyfriend back.” Taehyung didn’t lose his composure. His lips turned into a teasing smile.

“So who’s the guy?” He joked. You knew it was a joke. Taehyung was always like this, but there was a guy.

“Why does there have to be a guy in order for me not to want you back?” You squint your eyes at him. This only seemed to further his fun, as a deep chuckle rumbled from his chest. You shifted.

“I was kidding, but judging by your reaction, there’s definitely a guy.” He smiled lightheartedly. You ran your eyes over his face. “Why are you analyzing me?”

“Because of the way you’ve been texting me! I thought you wanted to date again or something.” You grumbled. Had you misunderstood all his texts? There was no way! They were totally flirty!

“Y’know, when I talked to my parents about being ready, they were so excited to hear we were going to work it out. Be a family.” Taehyung laughed breathlessly. “I know I was being pushy. I just— I had to, for my parents. But I won’t force you into anything. That’d be a dick move and I would never do that.” Taehyung reassured you. You smiled. Once again, his sincerity was always unwavering.

“Daddy! Look, momma said you had these marks too!” Myungie pinched his arm fat together to make an elephant out of the two moles on his arm. Taehyung’s face burst into a boxy grin. You glanced down at your phone to see a text from Jin. Your heart skipped a beat against your will. You’d handle one issue at a time.

ceo!seokjin x singlemom!reader

masterlist

taglist : @reckless-living-optimist @overtherainbow35 @whitepinkish @beeeb05 @preciouschimine @exfolitae @lidda @ramyagovindraj @taegijns @undermyfigtree @8sjaf @samros95 @wineandionysus @casspirit0705 @littlewolfieposts @bunnykookcinnabun @nochujeonjk @unicornbabylover @betysotelo18 @minhee-tae @rjsmochii @illwritetomorrow @xserendipityx @ohmy-fandoms @lilacdreams-00 @rlynotme @taetaeworldd

[alexlwrites]

Liability

Summary: The one where your best friend of years and love of your life is getting married and wants you to be the maid of honor. Luckily for you, the best man is not exactly happy either.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader, Jungkook x Reader

Tags: Romance, Humor, Fluff, Angst

A/n: had to repost cause someone said they couldn't find the last post for some reason.

Part 4: All I can be is sorry

(Fanfic masterlist)

(support me on my ko-fi <3 )

(<<<Part three)

“What are you doing here?” was the first thing you said and despite the many hours your friend had spent there and his spare key, the words still sounded like an accusation.

Jungkook was silent under you, holding still like he was trying to disappear, but Taehyung noticed him. “What are you doing here?” he said, voice far from welcoming.

The younger boy walked in, stepping into your living room and placing you gently on the couch “Ran into Y/N” he answered quietly “she hurt her ankle and I helped her, that’s all.”

“I didn’t know you were close.”

Jungkook waited for you to deny it, but instead you repeated your first question “What are you doing here?”

“You said you needed to talk” Taehyung answered, voice confused as if it was obvious.

“Yeah, hours ago!” you could feel the flames of anger rising within you, filled by years of frustration and the worst few weeks of your life “You can’t just show up here out of nowhere this late.”

“What are you talking about?” Taehyung sounded more and more confused, voice rising just like yours “We used to show up like this all the time”

“Not anymore! I’m not gonna show up unnanounced at your fucking house and go ‘boo’ at your fiance, so you shouldn’t do the same here!”

There was a moment of pause, a stretch of silence as Taehyung took in what you said and for a second you thought you saw a light recognition in his eyes, but Jungkook distracted you before you could look into it “I should go. I hope you feel better soon, Y/N” he turned to you and something in face made you believe he was talking about something beyond your injure.

“Thank you so much for your help, Jungkook” you smiled at him, trying to ignore Taehyung’s burning look “I’d walk you to the door, but…”

He grinned slightly and waved you away “I got it, don’t worry” when the door closed behind him, you realized neither Jungkook nor Taehyung had said goodbye to each other.

You turned your look back to your friend, noticing how for the first time how out of place he looked in your home, in your line of sight.

“Where is all your stuff?” he asked again in a quieter, more polite manner.

This was it, you thought, but the answers left your mouth much more easily than you initially believed they would “I’m moving.”

Taehyung nodded, having probably already deduced that. “Getting a bigger place?” he guessed, walking around the room trying to look casual “Is this what you wanted to talk about?”

You watched him, his steps and shifting eyes, overthinking his movements as he gave you nothing but a blank face “Bigger country.”

That made him turn and you felt panic bubble inside you, clawing the walls of your body and begging to leave whatever way it could, in screams, tears or digging nails into skin. That was the confrontation you avoided until it loomed over you like a guillotine.

“What do you mean?” he sounded strained, like he was holding back, fighting against the same panic you did, slightly closer to winning than you.

“I got a promotion. A really great offer to relocate to their English branch.” show no weakness, you told yourself, you are not asking for permission.

Taehyung did not like that.

“And what?” he threw his hands in the air, like your answer wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy him “You’re just gonna leave everything behind, just like that? What about your family?”

“My parents know and they’ve already made plans to visit. They are very excited. This is huge for me, Taehyung.”

“What about your friends?”

You scoffed “Who, Yoongi? He was the one who told me to take the job…”

“What about me, Y/N?”

Weeks ago you would have a five thousand word answer to that question. Weeks ago you asked that question before every choice you made. Weeks ago you loved him much more than you did yourself.

But now you just loved him so much it hurt and loving yourself wasn’t nearly as painful.

“You don’t need me here.”

He shook his head angrily “You can’t seriously believe that’s true.”

You shrugged, but that wasn’t enough for him again “Is this about Haewon? About the wedding?”

Back was the panic and it begged you to let it react, to take control over your body so it could pump adrenaline into it and force you to ignore any physical or emotional pain and run away. “What do you mean?” you asked, voice sounding so quiet under the thunderous beat of your heart.

Taehyung turned his back to you, hunched like he was hiding something “Nothing, never mind.”

But you knew better. Something in you was attuned to him, something that grew over the years, trained to pick apart and recognize lies, half-truths and omissions, like when he said a scratch didn’t hurt as kids or when he told you he loved you as adults.

That something brought you to the epiphany you spent years avoiding. “You know.” you said.

He didn’t move, still hunched in silence, and that was enough of an answer. “You know” you repeated, but now it sounded like an accusation just like the first words you directed at him that night, like you were placing blame “Oh my God, you know.”

He finally looked at you, all worried eyes and twisted fingers picking at each other and you wished you could have done something to make him feel better but you could barely breathe just like you could barely stand up, limbs and heart on fire.

“Y/N…” he started, but you didn’t let him finish. You had flames in the back of your throat forcing out all the words stuck there, pushing the questions you held back for so long they became part of the fabric of you.

“How long have you know?” you asked and he flinched at every word, but this time you didn’t stop them from coming “Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?”

Nothing in his guilty expression made you feel sorry for him, not his teary eyes, not his next words “I didn’t want to lose you.”

“You really think I would leave?” you asked and God, you wish you could stand up, wish you could push him back “You really think so little of me that you think I’d just throw our friendship in the garbage if you rejected?”

Taehyung winced as you got louder, shrinking until he looked much smaller than usual “I though things would become too awkward between the two of us.”

“Taehyung did you really think I expected anything but rejection?” tears were leaving you as your frustration rose “Did you really think years of you parading girlfriends in front of me gave me hope? Lead me on? How much of an idiot do you think I am?”

He shook his head, getting close to you and kneeling on the floor by your legs, faces leveled with each other “I just could never bring myself to let you down. I t-tried, you know, seeing you that way, but…”

“Please, stop talking!” you placed your hands on your ears and shut your eyes, hoping you could hide your humiliation “I don’t want to hear all the ways you tried to force yourself to love me!”

He took your hand between his, forcing your arms down “I do love you!”

“No, you don’t! Cause if you did, you would’ve said something! You wouldn’t have let me suffer in silence, you would’ve talked to me and allowed me to move the fuck on from you.”

“I’m sorry.” he sighed and although his apologies sounded sincere they meant nothing for you “I was selfish and I didn’t want you to move on from me. I still don’t want you to move away from me. I feel so-”

"No, you don't get to be sorry, you don't get to be sad or to be hurt, you don't get anything cause you got me for years.” you took your hands away, ignoring how he taken back he looked at yout outburst “For years you got me by your side watching you fall in love with different people; got me by your side at parties just for you to leave with someone else; got me by your side as your fucking bride got to choose her wedding dress and i got nothing. I didn't get to feel a thing, didn’t get to feel sorry for myself because I didn't feel like I had the right to keep you by my side. You don't get to feel shit now." the last part came out as a whisper as the energy left your body and left you empty.

You both sat in silence for a while as neither dared to say anything after that. You shut your eyes to avoid looking into his and feeling any sympathy.

Finally, you heard him stand up “Maybe I should leave” he said and he sounded almost as bad as you felt.

“No, not maybe. You should leave.”

You heard his steps as he walked, counting silently in your head to see how many it would take for him to walk out of your life.

He stopped halfway.

“You don’t have to come to the wedding.”

You scoffed “I know I don’t.”

“But I’d really love it if you did.”

“Well, you know what, for the first time I don’t really care about what you’d love, Taehyung.”

---

Jungkook sat in his car for a long time after he left you, flexing and relaxing his hand like he always did when he was nervous or stressed. From his window he could see the entrance to your building and he watched for a while, curious to see how long it would take for Taehyung to leave. When he didn’t, Jungkook drove away.

As the lights and cars passed by, he wondered if he should’ve stayed longer. If he should’ve stayed there until his hyung left, his presence sparing you of any fights or arguments.

Jungkook thought you deserved a little peace.

He remembered a time where you didn’t look so fragile and exhausted. He stored away those memories like a precious little thing, all those stolen looks he got from across Haewon’s living room kept like a treasure, because he didn’t know when he would get to see you like that again.

Jealousy and resentment settled inside of him as he drove, thinking of Taehyung’s interaction with you. What would it be like, he thought, to be so secure of his place in your life that he could just walk into your apartment and make himself at home?

Jungkook still felt like it was a bit audacious for him to show up like that and he couldn’t deny how happy he felt when it looked like you felt that too.

When he got home, Jungkook allowed himself to lie on his bed, taking in the smell of your perfume that had rubbed off on his shirt. He allowed himself to relive his night with you, happy to have a few memories to save, finally some that were his own and not borrowed glimpses. He counted on his fingers the time you laughed and said his name, the moments he had to avoid blushing like a high schooler in love.

And then he stowed them all away and reminded himself of your empty apartment and way too full heart and how your life had no place for him at the moment.

[skylarmoon71]

Tadashi Oneshot (Big Hiro 6)

"(Y/N) do you wanna come with us to the cafe, Hiro is celebrating our newest rescue." Honey Lemon's offer was tempting, but you denied.

"It's okay, you guys have fun. I got midterms next week. Gonna try and shove as much information into my brain."

"Hah, if you were a genius you wouldn't have to." Hiro taunts. You just grab him into a headlock, and now he's struggling. He's at an obvious disadvantage with the height difference. "I don't need to be a genius to beat you up short stuff."

When he finally gets free he's fixing his hair with a little growl. 

"Just wait until I get taller!" He hollers. You laugh, and he's running off with Fred and Baymax. Wasabi and Gogo are close behind lecturing them about crossing the street recklessly. Honey Lemon is just beaming as she follows. Tadashi is the one who stops to look your way. The moment his brown eyes meet yours you look away, turning your back and heading in the opposite direction.

"Is that really the reason, or are you just trying to avoid me." You tense, stopping in your tracks. You just clench the bag by its straps.

"I don't know what you mean." It's said so coldly, and you just continue walking, not looking back or even hearing him out. When you're at a reasonable distance you can finally breathe better. It's then that you chance a look back, and Tadashi is still standing there with a solemn look on his face. There's obvious guilt, and you don't pay it much mind turning the corner.

You were a part of their friend group. No, you weren't a genius or even a hero like the rest of them. You were just a friend. You thought it was awesome, not many people could say they were friends with Sanfransokyo's superhero squad. You were just an average teen, enjoying college life. Trying to at least.

After the fire at the University, everything changed. The man behind the crime was caught and locked up, and no one was hurt. Tadashi wasn't hurt. Even though that was the case, you were angry at him. When he stormed into the building it exploded, everyone assumed he was gone, but luckily he'd gotten trapped in a backroom that was built to handle high temperatures. You'd never forget that day.

The fire department stormed the building and recovered his body that was thankfully unharmed. All he'd received was a small burn on his right arm. But for you, it left a lot more than a battle scar. Tadashi had been your friend for years, even when you were kids he was always considered the level headed one. He had to be with his parents gone, and you knew he needed to be the example for his younger brother. You were two years younger than Tadashi. It could have been the fact that he was older that you always admired him. But as you started to grow, that admiration turned into a crush, and that crush formed love. You were in love with him, probably long before you even fully understood what the word meant.

So that day when he rushed into a flaming building, you were just a couple feet outside, and the moment the explosion went off, you felt like your heart had been ripped right out of your chest. You couldn't speak, move, breathe..

Discovering that he was not only alive but fairly unharmed, it was easily the best news you got that day. But since that day, you've never been able to look him in the eyes. Whenever you saw him that dreadful feeling returned, it was like you were being suffocated. Rather than confront those negative feelings, you were trying to avoid it, except Tadashi wasn't an idiot.

Three months passed, of course he would notice. You made sure to never be alone with him. As a group, you could manage, and luckily no one else picked up on your distance. For now, you needed time to sort through your feelings. If you could get over how much you felt for him, maybe you could return to being friends.

"I promise I'll always be there (Y/N). We're best friends after all." A childish promise when you were young. It was ridiculous to cling onto something like that.

~~~~

"Food." Your stomach had been grumbling for the last half hour, and you were so in tune to the tv show that you were ignoring it. The buzzing of your phone made your eyes shift. It was a text from Hiro.

"Can you stop by, I wanna show you my newest upgrade to Baymax. " 

You were about to respond but another message popped up.

"Don't forget the gummies." you giggled responding and tucking the device into your pocket. Now you really needed to get food.

It took about fifteen minutes to get there. You stepped out of our car, tucking the pack of gummies under your arm as you tried to balance your own meal. Locking your car, you headed into the building, stopping when you got to Tadashi's door. You opened it. 

"Hey Hiro you better pay me back for the gummies cause I nearly dropped my chicken for your stupid-" your words stop mid way. Tadashi is standing in the room, having turned when he heard your voice. You placed your food and Hiro's on the table, swallowing. 

"S-Sorry I..Hiro said he wanted to show me something so I just dropped by, but I can come back later." you don't want to be in here alone with him, you can't.

"(Y/N)." you're still facing him, and it's hard to not look at him.

"I guess it's harder for you to look at me now. Some of the girls have said this scar is cool, but most people aren't as impressed." Your brows knit at his words. He's trying to play it off as a joke, but there's a sadness that reaches his usually bright chocolate orbs.

"You..you really think it's because of a stupid scar." You're angry now, furious. Was his opinion that low of you that you'd shun him for a wound he got trying to help someone.

"BASTARD!!" Tadashi's is completely thrown by your words, and he can see it now, the sheer anger. "Stupid stupid stupid!!" your screaming, and Tadashi takes a step forward, not prepared at all for your outburst. When he gets closer he can see the tears, and it hurts him to see you so torn.

"Why are you-"

"YOU'RE SO SELFISH WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!" He reaches out to touch you, maybe try and calm you down but you shove him back. "You could have died and you just left me. Y-You didn't even care about Hiro..What would he have done, you're his only brother. Y-You just ran into the fire like you were some type of bullet proof vest! You didn't care!!! You don't care one bit about anything!! I hate you! I HATE YOU!!!"

Now it was starting to make sense. How could he not realize before. You were scared.

Terrified was more like it.

"(Y/N)..." He should have been more understanding of your feelings. Even Hiro was pissed with him when it all happened. It wasn't like he planned for that. It was somewhat of a reflex, he couldn't help it. "I hate you.." you mumble, dropping to your knees, Tadashi went down with you, pulling you into his arms. This entire misunderstanding was solely your fear of losing him. He should have put it together sooner. 

You'd known each other forever. Making such a decision without considering the residual effect it would have not just on his family but also his friends. At the end everyone was far more happy that he survived, but it could have just as easily turned bad.

"I'm so sorry (Y/N). I should have done things differently." helping people had always been something he wanted to do. It's a bit impossible to help if you're not there though. Risking his life like that, it was reckless. In a way he acted the same he'd constantly told his brother not to. Impulsive. The sincerity in his eyes, you could see it. This was the first time in a while that you'd been able to really look at him. He gave a small smile, and you returned it. 

"S-Sorry I called you a bastard." Tadashi laughed, wiping at your cheeks.

"I think I deserved it. So no harm done."

Now that you were no longer high on the adrenaline of the situation, you felt a bit vulnerable. Tadashi was so close. "You know..I've been thinking about a lot of things since then. These past few months I've come to realize that you aren't just a friend (Y/N). At least..not to me." you held his gaze, unsure of what response was right. His knuckles brushed the last of your tears away, and you pulled in a breath at the way his eyelids lowered. He bit his lower lip, and you could see he was evaluating something.

"Tadash-"

"Shhh..just let me..I just need to.." he didn't finish his statement, just leaned in. His kiss was so sweet, tender. Just like him. He didn't put too much pressure, or hold you down. They way he held you left so much room for you to move away if you really needed to. That's the last thing you were thinking though. You leaned in, hands gripping the front of his cardigan, tugging him forward. He took the initiative, slipping a hand into your hair as he continued to kiss you. The sound of a camera clicking is what made you pull apart. You both separated, and Hiro was standing behind the wall with his phone. He smirked. "Took you guys long enough. I hope you brought a lot of gummies, I should be given a medal honestly. " Tadashi glared, and it dawned on you that he must have set this whole thing up.

"When I get my hands on you!!" Hiro was running out the door laughing, and you could tell Tadashi wanted to go after him, but you took his arm, and he halted.

"I..I love you Tadashi. I always have." It took so many years to finally admit it, but when he smiled, and raised you off the floor, wrapping his hand around your waist, you could have melted on the spot.

"I love you too (Y/N). So much.'' you grinned, pulling him in for another kiss which he returned happily.

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

⛽️ 🔥 FIRE AND GASOLINE 🔥⛽️ (PART 1?)

Prompt: Y/N’s life has changed drastically, precisely 10 years ago and all because of an adorable lunatic and two little maniacs. But what will happen when a divergency of thoughts leads Y/N and her lunatic to say some pretty harsh words, that they know they will regret it later?

Word count: Maybe too long?

Pairing: Jon Moxley (or even Dean Ambrose if that’s your liking) x Reader

Warnings: For now, just some cursing and angst

Notes: His time has finally arrived and I couldn’t be more nervous about it! This goes out to my sincerely unhealthy love for Jon Moxley and my mixed feelings about having kids (sounds like a good match right?). Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

A light smile formed on my lips as I watched through the kitchen sink window Atticus and Rosie play in the backyard as I did the dishes. I never thought that my life could change for the better with a 6 and 4 years old..and to think that I never thought of myself as the maternal type.

The plate I was rinsing off almost broke on the sink as my body jumped from fright, when a pair of hands embraced my hips

“Oh God, you almost gave me a heart attack! Are you crazy?”

“Not really, just a little lunatic..” He laughed “I’m sorry it wasn’t my intention to frighten you, but once I saw that ass kitten I lost my fucking mind! Just like I did 10 years ago...” His hands roamed on my hips until they reached my ass that he lightly slapped. “Did you miss me, cherry?” His lips glued on the nape of my neck

‘Cherry’ that lame ass nickname he gave me 10 years ago...and all because my cheeks go incredibly red when I blush or whenever the weather gets cold making a huge contrast against my pale skin.

“Of course I missed you! This house gets too boring without you in it” I lightly chuckled

“Is that the only reason why you missed me?” He grinds his bulge on my ass, as an insinuation to what he actually meant by that question

“Jon, the kids are outside...”

“I’m not doing anything, I’m just asking an innocent question kitten” He nibs my neck

I turn around to face him, placing my arms around his neck leaning in for a kiss. It started innocently, but Jon Moxley wouldn’t be Jon Moxley if things were kept innocent.

His hands reached the hem of my tank top, sliding in to meet my bare skin, he roams up til he finally founds what he was looking for.

“Fuck baby, I missed these” He whispers as he softly but firmly squeezes my breasts. As much as I would like to have some fun time with my husband it’s not ‘adult time’ yet, which meant the kids were still up. So no ‘dirty deeds’ for us just yet.

I took the little bit of sanity I still had and broke the kiss

“Jon, that’ll have to wait babe”

He sighs “C’mon Y/N is just a quickie kitten, the kids won’t even notice you’re not here..just a few pumps in, I swear!”

“The last time you wanted to give it just ‘a few pumps in’ I was birthing Rosie 9 months later” I reminded him

“So? We love each other, we’re an adult couple with a beautiful family and a lot of love to give” He nibs my bottom lip “What’s wrong with having another little maniac? I wouldn’t mind! We make some pretty fucking good looking kids, we should start practicing another one now” He vaguely said

Oh God not this again... This has been a pretty heated topic between Jon and I, he was always crazy about kids but I wasn’t very fondly of them. When I found out I was pregnant with Atticus I lost my mind! I wasn’t sure about the whole ‘mommy’ commitment for life thing, I didn’t even knew if I had one single bone of motherhood in me. That soon changed though when I first held Atticus on my arms, at that moment I knew my heart was sold to some stinky bum that would call me ‘mom’ for the rest of my life. Rosie was a surprise too, we haven’t even talked about the possibility of having another kid and I was already pregnant with her.

Right after that the baby factory was officially closed to me but not for Jon, he wanted at least two more kids and I didn’t, he had a bit of a trouble understanding that back then I didn’t even wanted my first one! I love my kids, I would die for them in a blink but that doesn’t mean that I eagerly look forward being pregnant every goddamn year.

Jon’s job doesn’t help either, with him constantly being on the road I do most of the raising when it comes to the kids. Of course he still is an amazing father in the short amount of time he is home but still, I’m the one who has to do the working, cooking, cleaning, give baths, put to bed, take to swimming classes, brazilian jiu-jitsu classes, dentist appointments, running to the emergency at 3am because one of them is suddenly sick while the other one sleeps at the emergency’s waiting room chair, wiping off their tears whenever daddy has to leave again..

“Jon, not this topic again, please” I beg

“What is wrong with me wanting to discuss having another baby with the woman that I love?”

“It’s not that simple Jon, I wish it was but is not” I said slightly angry

“Yes it is that simple Y/N! You’re the one who’s always trying to complicate things” He let go of my hips

Great! Now he’s angry too. That’s just what I needed!

“Jon look, I don’t want us to fight ok? You just got home and we all miss each other so why don’t we drop it for now huh?”

I tried to wave the white flag, but I should’ve known it wouldn’t work with Jon ‘The Stubborn’ Moxley

“Of course you want to drop it, it’s not of your interest is it? No it isn’t! You always do this! Whenever a subject doesn’t matter to you, you don’t wanna talk about it, you’re always so selfish! Always thinking about yourself, never once caring about me or what I want! Selfish as fuck!” He raised his voice

When people say that words can hurt more than actions they were right. If he had punched me in the face it wouldn’t hurt as much as the harshness of his words. To say that I am selfish? After everything I left behind just to be with him? That hurt! And instead of doing the adult thing and keep my mouth shut before I said something I knew I would regret it, I did the Y/N thing where I run my mouth with harsher words than he’s previous ones just so I could hurt him as much as he hurt me

“I’m selfish? Me? Oh you better place the mirror in front of your own face to find the definition for that word Jonathan! You are the one who gets to make your ‘wrestler life’ on the road, living like a single man with not even one worry on your mind while I get behind with two kids and all the shit that comes with the package! It’s easy for you to say it with your 15 minutes FaceTime parenting that you do! In the mean time I have to be the bad guy who has to always say no because glorious dad is on the road chasing his dream for when he gets home he will do all of his kids luxuries so he can try to compensate his absence with Barbie dolls and hot wheels cars! So yeah I’m the selfish one Jonathan, good thing you notice that” I regretted those words as soon as they fell from my lips.

Jon’s eyes briefly showed the hurt caused by them but he soon replaced that with rage and pride before lifting his head up to say

“And is thanks to glorious dad that you have this comfortable house, a nice car and a shit ton of food on your table sweetheart. Let’s be honest here Y/N, how are you supposed to support yourself and the kids with your shitty excuse for a salary? I wipe my ass with the pitiful money that you make” He huffed

I’ve never felt so humiliated in my life. Yes my paycheck was mere cents compared to his, but I worked hard for my money, I was proud to have my own money, to share the bills with him and was proud for not taking the easy path of relying on a rich man to support myself (like my dear old mother proudly did). So the fact that he took something that was so prideful to me and used to humiliate me, made me for once rethink all of our 10 years together and if it was worth it at all.

Tears threaten to fall from my eyes and Jon seemed to have realized what he just said as for he reached his hand to cup my cheek

“Kitten, I-“

“Don’t! Don’t touch me, I don’t want you anywhere near me” I said in between sobs

“Y/N please I-“

“Mommy, why are you crying?” I saw Rosie’s smile die on her lips once she saw me crying.

I heard Atticus’ fast footsteps coming by the french doors to stop by Rosie

“Yay, daddy’s home- Mommy are you ok? Why are you crying? Did you get hurt?” His small but smart baby blue eyes roamed my face and my body for any signs of physical hurt

“Yes stinker, mommy got hurt” I said trying to hold back my sobs

“Where? I can’t see anything” Those clever blue orbs that were a faithful copy of Jon’s roamed through me once more trying to find the injury

“Why don’t you guys come here and tell daddy how much you’ve missed him while mommy goes upstairs to clean up the scratch?”

They just nodded and ran towards Jon, who took them both in his arms

“Y/N” He started but I gave him a look that made him go silent.

I reached the safety of my bedroom, feeling the urgent need to run away. Run away from him, from this house, from this country. Taking with me only the clothes on my body and my two little beasties...the immature part of me yelled ‘do it, do it’ but the grownup in me knows I can’t do this. It’s not fair to the kids, they barely get to see their father whom they love and miss so much. It’s not fair to Jon either, he loves those kids more than he’s own life.

But right now I needed my safe place (or better, person), I needed to breath so I called her and when I received the ok on spending 3 days at her house I packed a small little bag with enough close for just those days, as I was zipping up the bag a faint knock came from the bedroom door soon after being followed by it opening.

“Kitten, can we talk- What are you doing?” He asked in urgency as he bursts into the bedroom approaching me.

“I’m gonna go to Nancy’s” I vaguely said looking at anywhere but him

“Nance? Your sister?”

“She’s the only Nancy I know, so yeah..”

“But why? I just got home, I wanna be together Y/N”

“It’s just for 3 days Jon..you’ll be with the kids, they need you and they miss you” My voice is a faint whisper

“But I need and miss you too! I want you here! How am I supposed to enjoy my family if it’s not complete? I’m sure we can figure it out whatever it is that happened earlier” He grabbed my shoulders turning me to face him and cupped my cheeks, tilting my head up to look me in the eyes.

“Y/N, kitten, I know that I’ve said some pretty harsh things to you earlier. I’ve been stressed out. It’s all my fault, I’m so sorry cherry. Please forgive me baby” He pressed his forehead with mine

That was typical Jon, always pulling the guilt towards himself, he has a hard time understanding that he was not always the only cause of a disagreement.

“Jon, we both said some stupid things ok? This is not all on you, love” I released myself from him, if he continued this close I wouldn’t resist, and right now I need to think.

“Yes it is Y/N. Me and my stupid fucking mouth, not you. You’re perfect kitten”

I scoffed “Trust me, I am not”

“Yes you are! Look at who I am now because of you, I stopped doing drugs, I’m not a drinking mess anymore, I eagerly look forward coming come because I know that the three pieces of my heart are waiting for me, look at what I’ve achieved, what you gave me, how you gave up everything and everybody to be with me”

Oh yeah,that.. my ‘high society family’ was not happy at all when they met Jon, they said that we were a very dangerous combination of fire and gasoline, that we would never be happy. I had two options they said, either them or him. I hated my family and loved Jon so it was a simple math. I left my house and all of the luxury behind to live with him in his ridiculously small one bedroom old apartment. The only person that I still talked to was Nancy my older and just as rebel sister, who gave everybody the middle finger and left the not so humble abode of my family never speaking with them again. So it made sense that the two rebellious black sheeps would become their own family, mine was Nancy and I was hers.

“Jon I need some time to think, we need it ok? Please, we both need to digest what we’ve said to each other. It wasn’t just a simple ‘fuck off’ we’ve said some pretty bad stuff so let’s just process this ok?” I beg

“Are you gonna leave me forever? Please don’t tell me you’ll want divorce because of this...I won’t handle it kitten” His voice was strangled by tears

“Jon-” I was thankfully interrupted by Rosie’s and Atticus’ screams of joy on the hallway as they ran towards our bedroom

“Mommy, daddy the movie is about to start c’mon” Atticus says as he jumps from excitement. They have been wanting to watch Moana for a while now, but only when daddy got home so he could watch it too.

“We’re going buddy” Jon fastly said

“Actually” I begin “Only daddy will watch the movie with you” It crushed my heart to see the disappointment on their faces

“Why?” Rosie asks

“Because auntie Nancy called and mommy’s gonna need to go and help her”

“Is auntie Nana in trouble?” Now it was Atticus turn to ask

“No stinker, she just need momma’s help with something, it’s nothing bad I promise”

“Can you go to Nancy’s after the movie?” Jon hopefully asks, he knows that the longer I stay the less likely it will be for me to leave.

The kids gasped at their daddy’s amazingly smart idea.

“Please mommy, please!” The kids started to beg as they kneeled down to make their begging really serious.

Jon kneeled down too, by my side. I looked at him confused and he just said

“Yeah mommy, please stay” He placed his hands on my hips “Please kitten, don’t leave me” He whispered

And now I have 3 pairs of incredibly beautiful and pleading baby blue eyes staring at me waiting for my answer.

What am I supposed to do?...

To be continued (?)

What do you think? Should this story continue? Would you like to see what will Y/N do? What would you do? Please let me know your thoughts, they are so very important to me and help me with my writing 💕🥰

[project-rosewood-476]

Love? What's That?

*slaps this blog* THIS BADBOY CAN FIT SO MANY SIDE FICS IN IT

Here's another side fic. This one also focuses on an interaction between Tabby and her stepdad but this is on the more gentler side.

Yes this is still angst but its more of a hurt/comfort thing I promise you. It ends on a semi happy note

“You know most of my problems stem from you. Honestly, I would be better and have more freedom if you’d just disappeared off of the face of the planet. It’s only you that has a problem with me! If you’d just upped and left, we would all be much happier,” spat out a 12-year-old Tabby as she slammed the bottom kitchen cabinet that she was cleaning.

Today and night, she was ordered around to do busy work around the house when her stepdad could have quickly done it himself. But no, he was too busy being a lazy piece of shit even to entertain the thought of doing his responsibilities around the house. He was breathing down her neck all day and telling her what to do when he saw that she would do it anyways on top of lacing into her about her problem with authority and other mental issues. He just wouldn’t back the fuck off, and she was dead ass tired. She had enough, and that’s what caused her outburst because he wasn’t going to listen otherwise.

Tabby looked over at the kitchen clock on the stove longingly. It was well into 2’o clock in the morning, and her mom was supposed to be home two hours ago. She knew that her store was chaotic and busy, so it took time to clean, but this was outrageous even for her. She had a sneaking suspicion that something was up, and apparently, she wasn’t the only one.

“Yeah, well, careful what you wish for. Keep it up, and you may get it,” The older male grumbled and looked away.

Tabby snapped her head up from what she was doing and looked over at him with a suspicious and confused look. Surely this was one of his ploys to guilt-trip her into apologizing for what she said, or It was a trick to get her hopes up only to smash them down. But something about what he said just sounded different. Like he almost meant it. She just couldn’t place her finger on it. Yet something about what he said was off, and it disturbed her.

“What do you mean by that?” Tabby asked slowly.

“Don’t worry about it! That’s none of your business!” he snapped at her.

“You can’t just drop an ominous phrase like that and tell me not to worry about it! Whatever it is, I have a right to know! Come on; we’ve been through thick and thin with each other! You can tell me. I promise you won’t be alone!” she pleaded.

“I SAID DROP IT, TABITHIA!” he raised his hand about to hit her, which caused Tabby to flinch and attempt to block his oncoming attack before hearing her mom pull up in the driveway finally.

He slowly put his hand down and straightened up before turning away from her.

“Get some rest. Your mother and I need to have an adult conversation,”

“Uh oh, this can’t be good,” said Tabby in thought.

She slowly stood up and put her cleaning supplies away. Her eyes widened in horror as they darkened with troubled thoughts. Oh god, she sincerely hopes that their suspicions weren’t correct. They both hated being wrong, but they both prayed to whoever was listening up there for this one except for the first time.

The look her mother gave her when Tabby made eye contact with her as soon as she walked through the door was enough of a confirmation. Tabby hung her head in defeat and began to cry silently. She moved past her dad as fast as she could so he couldn’t see the weakness in her and into her room.

That night was the longest ever in Tabby’s life so far. That night was the night she saw her parents fall out of love with each other. She tried to go to sleep. It wasn’t often her dad let her go to bed willingly, and she planned to take full advantage of that.

“Who cares if he leaves? Good riddance for me! I can finally get my freedom! We don’t need him! And honestly, it’s high time that she kicked him to the curb for good!” she grumbled to herself as she tossed and turned. She was still wide awake, listening in to her parent’s conversation. He was angry, but it was more of the cold and calculating anger. Yet, he still didn’t hit her or yell at her, for that matter. How come he was gentle with everyone else except for her? It wasn’t fair.

“Come now; I know you don’t believe a word you just said.,” she said in thought, trying to reason with herself.

“And what if I do?” she challenged out loud to herself.

“You don’t. Wanna know how I know? Because if you believe that you would be celebrating with joy instead of hurting for him and crying and secretly praying that he won’t leave. You are scared,” she said to herself in thought matter of factly.

“I mean, I guess I am hurting for myself and him...I mean, yeah, he’s hurt me more times and ways that I can count. But does he deserve to be hurt in return? Cheating on someone? Especially that person who you’re supposed to love and care for and be loyal to? That’s just low! He’s done everything for us! He took me in and raised me when he didn’t have to! And he stuck around for Adam, too, when he could of just have his fun and left again! But no! He stays here, makes sure that we’re fed and not dead and takes care of us, and teaches us how to take care of ourselves! And my mom dares to do this to him?!”, she was seething in rage as she clenched her bedsheets, making her knuckles turn white and banging her head against the pillow as hard as he could.

“I sense a feeling of betrayal here,”

“That’s an understatement. I mean, I’ve always viewed my mom as this very moral person. She preaches that like fire and brimstone. But I guess once a coward, always a coward. I’m just upset that I was let down, that’s all,” she admitted in defeat.

“Ah, there it is—the truth. Now, let’s go over this rationally. It wouldn’t be a good idea for him to leave. Because if he did, how would that affect Adam? Are you willing to have that conversation with a 3-year-old? Are you ready to tell him the truth of why daddy is no longer with him? Because we all know mom won’t do it. Speaking of mother dearest, as much as we would like to believe that she doesn’t need another man in her life, you and I both know that with a short amount of time, she would fall back on her old habits of bringing strangers into the house namely other adult males. Do you want to go back to that? Especially with Adam on the line? You know that no other males out there other than dad would be willing to take care of other kids other than his own. What if he left and mom brought home another strange male who’s just as bad as dad, if not worse?! Are you willing to put Adam through that?! Is that the price you’re ready to pay for your freedom?!” she interrogated herself in the hellscape she called her head.

Tabby was crying hysterically at this point. She didn’t want to lose her best friend/dad, who’s she’s known for eight years. He’s all she knows. She didn’t want to be left alone again like she was all those years ago for a brief time. Only this time, he won’t come back. Oh god, this wasn’t what she wanted. This wasn’t how she wanted it to happen. She scolded herself on how she could be so selfish as to disregard Adam like that. Adam, her pride and joy. The sweet innocent little boy who was a ray of sunshine to all. She could never throw away what she worked so hard to raise. She needed to provide stability for him. Even if the abuse wasn’t good for him to be around, it was still stability nevertheless. She would much rather have him around someone he trusts and is used to growing up with than some stranger who would do god knows what to them that mom brought in off the streets. Tabby can’t be everywhere at once, and she won’t always be there to protect him. She’ll put up with the abuse for a while longer until Adam is eighteen and out of there. She’ll suffer if that means Adam can have safety and stability.

She loved him that much to do so.

“What is love?” She asked aloud.

“I’m not sure you would have to do more thinking about that,” her conscience admitted.

Tabby slowly came out of her dissociative state. She blinked and looked around her surroundings in confusion before looking at her alarm clock.

6:00 am it read.

“Ah fuck I’m going to be late for school if I don’t hurry my ass up!” she said in a panic.

She hurriedly got ready, looking messy, but she’ll fix that on her way to school and in the bathroom before school started.

She hesitantly reached for her doorknob before stopping.

“What if he’s not there? What if he did leave?”

She hesitated but turned the doorknob.

“Only one way to find out”

She pushed her bedroom door open and was greeted with the warm air mixed with the sickly sweet scent of Malibu 100, vodka, and cheap beer. The living room and kitchen were a mess covered in dishes, disorganized clutter on the floors on top of empty beer cans everywhere, and the two liquor bottles. Tabby coughed at the smells, and already she was feeling a migraine coming on from the Malibu. She told herself she’ll clean up after school since it would probably still be there when she got back. She simply did not have the time. She’ll deal with the lecture and beating later. She knew that he spent the rest of the night drinking his sorrows away. The only thing that brought her relief was seeing her dad passed out on his chair.

“He didn’t leave us after all,” she thought warmly.

Tabby couldn’t help but run over and hug him and didn’t want to let him go. Even if he reeks of sweet liquor and cheap beer coming from him, it was oddly comforting to her. She didn’t care if her migraine was getting worse. She was afraid that if she let go and went to school, she would never see him again.

“Huh, hey, what’s the meaning of this?” he slurred awake, blinking to try to clear his surroundings. He looked down to see Tabby nuzzling his chest, crying, half hanging on him and half on his lap.

“Tabby, honey, what are you doing? You’re going to be late for school, and you still have to clean this mess up,” he meant to have a harsh undertone, but he was too wasted, his voice slurred with softness and concern instead.

“I didn’t sleep at all last night! I was too riddled with anxiety! I overheard everything you and mom talked about! I was so scared that you would have left us! And then I would have to worry about raising and protecting Adam and making sure that mom doesn’t bring home any strange man that isn’t you ” she talked fast, and word vomited all over him like she was spilling her sins at the altar.

“Tabby, honey, why would I do that to you and your brother and your mother?” he sounded so concerned. It’s so hard to believe that in any other circumstances or the fact that if he were sober, he would have pushed her off of him and chewed her out, and beaten her for being a baby.

“Because mom cheated on you! And you deserve to be happy! And you deserve so much better! You do so much for us and go above and beyond! And I just love you so much, and I hate seeing you hurt! And it’s just not fair!” she was sniffling, hiccupping, and blubbering mess.

“Tabby, honey, listen to me. Hey, no, look at me,” he said gently as she lifted her face.

“I will never abandon my children or your mother. That’s not what you do to people who have been there for you through thick and thin. I can’t just leave my two favorite children on their own. You both need me,” he patted her hair to calm her down.

Tabby didn’t say anything. She just sat there and held onto him, whimpering, trying to catch her breath.

“You know I’m proud of you. You are becoming everything I’ve dreamed of you becoming,” he said so soothingly as he continued to pet her hair.

“Really, you mean it?” she looked up at him, hopefully.

Like with alcohol, she was falling for the sweet poison of his words.

“Oh yes. Surviving rosewood is no small feat. It takes so much mental strength to do so and be a top-notch leader at that. I am so proud of you for how far you’ve come and how far you will go. I have raised a strong, independent daughter. Yes, I do consider you my child,” he continued to slur his words, but he was so sweet and comforting.

Like her dad with the Malibu, she continued to down the sweet poison of his words like there was no tomorrow. She was becoming drunk on false praise and promises. Even though she knew that it was only temporary, she didn’t care. She would deal with the damage later.

“D-dad?”

“Yes, honey?”

“W-What is love?”

He hesitated and thought for a moment.

“Love...love is being there for those you care about. Even if they hurt you, it’s about the unconditional love you have for them. They might not appreciate it now, but they will in the long run. I guess I’m just loyal to a fault,” he looked away, embarrassed.

"So love is loyalty then?” Tabby lifted her head and cocked it to the left in confusion.

He thought about it for a moment.

"Yeah, love is loyalty."

She thought about it. It made sense to her. She was loyal to her group, and she loves her group. And her group is devoted to her, and she knew that they loved her. So that checked out. She's loyal to heath and would never do anything to hurt him and vice versa. So that checked out. And she’s devoted to her dad because he was the only one to raise and take care of her and teach her when no one else would. She holds him to the highest esteem. And she loves him despite everything. Hell, she believes that hiding the body brought them closer because they share a traumatic experience. And if he didn't love her he didn't have to stick around and go above and beyond for any male with a kid that's not theirs. He didn't have to, and he still chose to anyways. So in a sense, he was loyal to her.

So that means he loves her.

“Hey, dad?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you. I don’t hate you; I just miss you,” she said as she buried her face into his chest.

“I love you too, honey,” he said as he continued to hold her and kiss the top of her head.

He continued to hold her close as she just spilled everything and everything. She knew that he would use all that information against her later and be in trouble for it, but she didn’t care. She was desperate to have her best friend back, even if it was fake and temporary. He was patient with her, and he listened. Pretty soon, he fell back asleep, and she fell asleep on him like a little kid again. Safe and sound.

She didn’t go to school that day.

[shnuggletea]

Hey there! Been a minute, I know. Thank you all for being patient and checking in on me lol. I wasn't struggling, not with writer's block or anything. Quite the opposite technically. I was moving to my new place the first three weeks and the last two or three I was on 'vacation'. Eid was the end of last month and I went to my hometown to meet up with my adopted Muslim family. Would have met with my parents but thanks to the virus, their doctor said "No way!" and I had to video chat them while less than thirty minutes from them (cue sarcastic angry face). We all got struggles yeah? ANyway, home and moved in, for the most part, I finished my final edit of my book and got it out for review. So while I sit, waiting, I'll be working on the MANY promised projects, including this fic!

Many of you guessed what was coming here; a kiss, a lemon, and even that the guy at the door wasn't really Inuyasha! And I gotta say you were all... completely wrong! LOL! As far as a lemon or a kiss... this is a slllooooowwww burn guys, so strap in. And we aren't even halfway done with all the crazy crap this world has in store for the characters. You will be learning a lot more about that in this chapter and get an idea of how much more is to come from this.

We ain't close to done folks...

Fanfiction HERE

AO3 HERE

Chapter Ten

He gently pushed her aside and walked in. The guards by the door flared but said nothing, a strange sight for sure.

"I got a migraine." He said, more for the guards than for her.

She shut and locked the door, a habit she had gotten into since Kagura's visit a few days ago. Inuyasha hopped up on a gurney and stretched out, relaxing as if to stay. "What are you doing?"

He shrugged, still smirking. "Told ya, I got a migraine. I get one once a month around this time."

"Huh?"

Right before her eyes, he changed. His ears twitched and then folded into his head, disappearing completely. The white of his hair turned black, starting at his scalp and dripping like ink from a bottle to his tips. His eyes on her, she watched as they dulled and darkened, their bright gold shifting to black as well.

"What...what's going on?!"

He held a finger to his lips to hush her, then glanced at the door for a moment. She grabbed the curtain closest to him and wrenched it shut, hiding him from any immediate eyes that might enter. Usually, the guards would leave around this time, having no need to guard her all night as she was no threat.

They didn't care that others were a threat to her, something she had been thinking about all day since taking Shippo to his cell to rest. It would be nothing for someone to attack her in the middle of the night here.

"On the night of a new moon," Inuyasha whispered, bringing her focus back to him, "I become...human."

"...what?!"

"It's a half-demon thing. Happens every month."

She shifted her weight, feeling overwhelmed with information. "If it's monthly then how is this the first time.."

"Because I was in solitary the first month and then you moved in here. So you've missed it. I used to spend these nights in here anyway…"

"You would come to the infirmary to sleep as a human?"

He shrugged again, "can't let the others know when I'm at my weakest. Especially the guards."

She didn't understand, coming to sit on the end of his 'bed'. "If it's an important secret then why are you telling me?"

Grabbing her hand, he played with her fingers, watching his touch on her. "Seemed only fair, you showing me yours," his eyes danced up to hers, "besides if you tell mine I could just tell yours. But you'd never do that, would you Kagome?" She slowly shook her head, feeling as if she was in a trance. "I figured as much."

He shifted on the bed, getting comfortable. She rose, grabbing him a blanket and climbing onto the gurney next to his. The lights flicked off as soon as they were settled, on a timer, and it was completely black as usual. But she felt far less uneasy about it with Inuyasha here.

She still couldn't sleep, too curious and keyed up. "Can you...will you tell me some things?"

Kagome didn't want to ask specifics, she just wanted to learn more about him without having to tell him what she wanted to hear. And to her delight, he understood her perfectly. "When I was a kid, it was just me and my mom. She didn't know shit about being a demon, only how to get knocked up by one I guess. Or she just hoped I'd never learn. Naraku knew what I was at first glance and tried to take me. I screamed, he flinched, and I saw the darkness in him. I didn't really know what a demon was but I knew he was one. So then I screamed that he was a demon and the cops came quickly. He blames me but really it was his own damn fault if you ask me."

She could hear him shift in the bed, turning and probably looking at her in the dark. His silence was short but she knew it was her turn. "My mother told me what I was when I freaked out. We were in a grocery store and people started glowing. It runs in my family, apparently. My father was like me but died long before we got to talk about it. My grandfather taught me how to use my gifts, telling me to tell no one and that anyone with a red-tinted aura should be avoided. I always thought he meant they were bad people. But now I know he just meant they were demons."

"Demons are bad."

"Not all of them."

"Yeah, but if a demon had ever caught on to what you are? It wouldn't be good."

"You don't seem to have a problem with it?"

She couldn't see him and with his human eyes, she was sure he couldn't see her. But she still turned in his direction, knowing he was doing the same in the dark.

"I used to be on the anti-demon squad with Miroku. We had the highest catch rate without casualties, even though they would have liked it if we killed a few of 'em. When things changed and we became the targets, we split. My girlfriend ran with me but…" he paused, taking a deep breath, "she was like you, Kagome. But not nearly as strong. And I'd never seen her heal anyone but herself. She refused to heal others out of fear I guess. Even me. She got caught and traded me for her freedom." He huffed loud and sad into the air. "I can't even blame her for it. She never would have survived in here."

Brushing away her tears, the bed squeaked loudly with her movements. "My fiancé was shot. His father is a politician and not well-liked by many. I was with him and… he would have died. So, I didn't hesitate but the cops were called. Hojo visited me once here, only to tell me that he couldn't help me. The coward."

"I'm sorry." He said, sincerity dripping off his tone.

She shook her head, "I'm sorry too."

He chuckled darkly, "we aren't all that different, are we?" She didn't answer him because it wasn't really a question. Inuyasha laughed harder. "Miroku was caught by a demon hunter. The idiot fell in love with her while she was just targeting him the entire time. I heard she handcuffed him to the bed and left him to collect her fee!"

"He told me he was caught getting groceries?!"

"He likes to tell people that. Less pathetic."

"He mentioned an enchantress… Poor Miroku."

"That fool has no one else to blame but himself. And his penis."

A giggle rolled out of her even though she felt it was wrong. She sobered quickly when he grew silent.

"Did you love him?"

There was an edge to his tone that she couldn't understand. "I thought I did. But...yeah now I'll never feel anything for him. It's a good thing I saw his true self before I married him."

"Probably would have been better if you saw it before you saved his worthless ass!"

"I still would have saved him. I just would have run before the cops came." She said with a sad laugh. "Did you love her?"

He sighed heavily, waiting for a beat before answering. "No. I thought I did too. But after meeting you and seeing what you can do… I made excuses for her and her fear. Gave her too many chances to change. The truth is, she was selfish. You're even more powerful than she is… maybe that makes you fearless…"

"I'm always afraid, Inuyasha. Always. I don't let it stop me from doing the right thing."

"God damnit, you shouldn't be here!" He yelled at no one and everyone. "You don't deserve it and those fucking humans should feel the loss of you! I would!"

Her cheeks burned, probably glowing in the darkness. "I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Especially, in here."

"Feh. Don't take it too seriously. I'm more… emotional in my human state. It's fucking annoying."

Twisting, she stared at the ceiling, tracking the same cracks she did every night. "Is that why they put me in a cell with you? Because you're half-human?"

"If you think for one second they did that for your benefit then you're truly naive. The Warden put you in with me to mess with me. Believe it or not but beating the shit out of the Thunder Bro's was my first time in solidarity."

"Really?!" She cringed at the disbelief in her tone.

His response was to huff, "they may hate me in here but they're scared of me. They know what I can do even with the damn runes. Being half-human only makes me stronger."

"Why would Onigumo want to mess with you? You're half-human and you used to work with them? What reason could they have to dislike you that much?"

"What reason do humans have to hate any of us? They don't understand us so they fear and hate us." He growled.

"Do you think… we'll ever get out of here?"

He chewed on her words for a moment then released an exasperated sigh. "If any of us ever had a chance, it was you."

"Was?"

The bed squeaked, he was shifting in it, turning to face her fully. "Before you went in the goddamn basement and got on Naraku's bad side, yeah you could've gotten released."

"Naraku doesn't have any say…"

"Not because of him. Because of what you know. You drew the damn blood yourself!"

Now she turned, facing him and she could just make out his silhouette in the darkness now. "What do they do with it?"

"If I tell you, they'll never let you leave."

"I'm not leaving. Not by myself. Just tell me!"

She couldn't see it but she was sure he was grimacing at her. "They juice with it."

It took her tired mind a second but then she gasped. "That's crazy! It's so dangerous! And extremely illegal!"

"How else do you think the guards handle us in here? The runes may take away our powers but it doesn't take away nearly enough of our strength." He twisted, glancing at the door for a second and then back at her. "You've noticed, haven't you? The guards, they're hollow."

"You can see that too?"

"No. But I've heard stories about the effects of using demon blood. Sess says they've been taking more lately. Three times as much the day you did it. Have you done it since?"

She had. Two times now and each time Naraku tried to burn her soul with his evil intent. "Yes."

"Have the amounts increased?"

"Yes."

"Shit. Naraku is really going to have it out for you now."

"Gee, thanks."

He chuckled, "don't worry. I won't let him or anyone else touch you."

Narrowing her eyes, she looked as hard as she could right at his face, hoping to make out some of the details in the dark. "Why? You told me you would never help me. Ever. And yet all you've done is save my ass."

"It's a nice ass." He chuckled softly, showing he could see the bewildered look on her face while she could still only make out his nose. "You're special, Kagome. And you should be protected. Worshiped really. I'll do all I can to keep you safe, I promise. Even if that means keeping you at a distance. But I'll make sure Koga gets his and leaves you alone."

"From a distance?"

The loud squeak told her he had turned away from her. The conversation was coming to a swift end. "That's how I can protect you the most. Keeping you as far away from me as I can."

oOo

Shippo healed the rest of his wounds on his own quickly enough. And the wolves involved looked pretty disappointed he was alive. But it started a rumor that Shippo was unkillable.

Meanwhile, the kitsune still jumped and shrank away anytime someone large got close. Even when Kagome and Miroku were by his side. Shippo started spending his nights in the infirmary with her and Inuyasha kept his distance. More than he had before.

The trips, pushes, and pulls stopped. Koga and his buddies also kept their distance. Kagome was starting to relax, it looked like it was all over and she didn't know how much of that was thanks to Inuyasha.

None of this solved her main puzzle right now, Kagura's pregnancy. Kagome had made a promise and three weeks later, she was still coming up short with a solution.

Kagura sat, swinging her legs on the gurney, arms crossed in irritation. "I told Sessy yesterday."

"You did?" Kagome asked with genuine shock. "Was that why he was in such a foul mood on his way back to solitary?"

Kagura nodded. She really felt for the woman, she did. But it was hard to get upset with Sesshomaru for his poor reaction. No one wanted their child to be born in this kind of situation.

"Did he say anything about it? Did he have any ideas…"

"No, he has no clue what to do. But I know he's down there thinking it over right now. He won't rest." Kagura said sadly.

"I'm sorry. I'm still trying to figure something out. So far, the best I have is to sneak the baby out somehow after it's born."

Kagura shook her head, "the guards won't let it get that far. They'll be on me as soon as I start to give birth and won't let me or the baby out of their sights until they take it from me."

Sitting across from her, Kagome watched Kagura who watched her feet swing. "Who will come, Kagura? Who will take the baby?"

Kagura glanced at the door just as Inuyasha had weeks ago before telling her his secrets. Then looked her right in the eyes. "Ever heard of a company called Shikon?" When Kagome shook her head, Kagura huffed in irritation. "Of course not. They wouldn't want the public knowing about them, would they?"

"Who are they?"

"They are the ones who run experiments on demons. The blood you draw? It goes to them for processing and cleaning, turning it into a drug the guards use here to keep us in line. And for other clientele like rich humans."

Kagome was already shaking her head, "No. No way. It's illegal! How could they get away with that?"

She was angry. Angry that such risks were being taken and terrible things all done in the name of science. Her science. All while she was thrown in here for saving a life. There were real criminals running around out there and she had done nothing wrong!

Taking a deep breath, she calmed herself. She was not the issue here, there were more important things then the slights against her.

Kagura sat back on her hands, smirking over at Kagome. "Is it really that surprising? Humans fear our power so, of course, they try to find ways to get their own."

"They should just have a baby with a demon. Half demons seem to be more powerful than the rest of you against these runes." She muttered.

Worried that was offensive too late, Kagome opened her mouth with an apology but Kagura just laughed. "Figures you would think that. What with your… relationship with Inuyasha…"

"We don't have a relationship…"

"But Inuyasha doesn't have the thing the Shikon people want the most. It's why they don't take his blood."

"And what's that?"

Kagome cringed, realizing she probably should ask Inuyasha this and not Kagura. But the question was out there now and she found she wanted to know more than anything.

"Inuyasha has the strength of a demon, more than many due to his training more than anything. But he ages just like any other human. Maybe a little slower but not enough for Shikon. He doesn't heal quite as fast as we do either. He's like… a human that's extra. Strength beyond a human but with mortality. They want to obtain longevity. Some demons here have nearly eternal life and that's why they take the most blood from Naraku. That bastard just won't die."

"So what you're telling me is…" she paused, needing to swallow her disgust back down her throat, "they experiment on demons to find a cure for death?"

Kagura snickered, "You humans. You're so much weaker than us, a cold could kill you. It causes you all to be terrified all the time of… well, time."

Kagome didn't fear death and that had nothing to with her gifts. She had never healed herself, not even from a cold like Kagura 'joked'. She had always held the belief that everything happens for a reason. She may not know the why at first but she always figured it out eventually. Like being thrown in this jail. Kagome was sure it was so she could help everyone like Kagura, Shippo, even Miroku. And that she was supposed to meet… all of them. Meet all of them and not just Inuyasha.

Grabbing Kagura by the shoulders, she held the demon completely still. "It's wrong. Dangerous or not, no one should be treated that way, experimented on. And I refuse to let that happen to your child."

Kagura's eyes were wide and unmoving. "So you have a plan then?"

Lowering her head, Kagome looked at the floor. "I do… but it's a last resort and I won't tell you what it is because…" Kagura would try to stop her, Kagome thought to herself, "it's dangerous and don't want to put anyone at risk. But I will if I have to to get you and your baby to safety."

"Me and my child?!"

She had said too much but Kagome had the hopes of keeping Kagura with her child since the beginning. Every child deserves to be loved and no one would love the child like it's mother undoubtedly would.

But the plan Kagome had at present would expose her to everyone; the guards, the Warden, and… Inuyasha and Naraku. And she didn't know which of those finding out would be worse.

Not gonna lie, I’ve forgotten who’s asked for tags on this fic... Just gonna tag at random... sorry if I bug you!!

@underwater0phelia @lavendertwilight89 @mamabearcat @nartista @nopenname22 @echobows @superpixie42 @smmahamazing @redflamesofpassion @jme-chan @cstorm86 @cicleydark-light @ruddcatha @lavaffair @kirrtash @sistasecbhere @inusgirl @obsessandfangirl @britonell @lordofthechips @mcornilliac @faolenwolf @classyhumanathletepalace @keichanz @phoenix-before-the-flame @artisticloveexpressitsall @lamuertadehambre @noyourenotreal @mitty-san @thenoammonster @little-deeluna @royaltrashpanda @sailorbabydoll92 @storyweaver2017 @malditamigs @adorabubblesblog @lilms-obsessed @petri808 @anniehcresta @fan-dumpp @itzatakahashi @utakuprincess @theschultinator @all-too-ale​ @little-inukag-obsessed @theseagullqueen @queenofthesquirps @inusgirl @jolinaaa00​ @knowall7k

Spoiler alert, the one bed sharing thing comes into play again next chapter ^_~

So this is random but you guys do know I write SM fanfiction too? Just putting it out there, if you like my Inu then you’re likely to love my Sm. I’m an AU freak but I do have some stuff that’s cannon. I try to keep it even. Something to consider since I love SM and Inu I’m sure there are more of you like me. And I have A LOT of SM fics done and posted lol!

[aspiringauthorintraining]

Second to None (2/?)

“Do you want to go ahead and order sweetie?” The sweet old lady asked her, with pity in her eyes.��

“I’ll give him 5 more minutes. I’m sure he just overslept and is getting ready right now.” (Y/N) reasoned, although she wasn’t sure whether she was trying to convince the waitress or herself.

“Alright, dearie. If you need anything, let me know.” Martha gave (Y/N) one last sympathetic smile, which she responded with a thankful one.

As Martha walked over to the next table, (Y/N) continued staring out the window, sincerely hoping for a spectacled face to appear. But as her promised five minutes to Martha passed, still no one came to sit down in the chair across from her. 

Martha came up again, with a concerned look on her face. (Y/N) could only respond with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. 

“I think I’m ready to order now.”

____________

Bottles of firewhiskey strewn about on the floor and one very drunk James Potter lounging on the couch was the scene (Y/N) was met with, as she apparated into his flat.

“Is this what you were busy doing this morning? Drinking yourself to death?”

Her friend lazily opened his drooping eyes, squinting in her direction. “(Y/N)? Is that you? Or are you a dark wizard sent here to end my misery?”

“I waited an hour for you, James!” she seethed, snatching away the half-full bottle in his hands.

“Oohhhh, I’m so soorrryy.” he responded drunkenly, while trying to take back the liquor, unsuccessfully. 

As (Y/N) was about to start another round of heavy berating, a series of taps on the window distracted her. Opening the window, she found Sirius’ owl, Minnie (cleverly named after Professor McGonagall), waiting patiently with a note addressed to her. Petting the owl, before sending it off, she opened the note while keeping an eye on her drunken friend. Upon finishing reading the letter, she resumed her glaring at James, this time doubling the intensity. 

“James Fleamont Potter, did you not tell anyone you’re here?” she questioned in a tone that James had classified as her “Head Girl” voice.

“It was more of an impromptu trip, to clear my head…” he trailed off, still not thinking clearly.

“Is this what you call clearing your head?! People are worried sick about you back home, while you’re here just drowning away your sorrows with liquor?”

James merely grunted in response.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?!” 

Done with his bullshit, she pointed her wand directly at his face before growling, “Aguamenti.” 

Water rushed out of her wand, showering his face with a powerful, nonstop stream. 

“(Y)-(Y/N)! Stop it!”

“Not until you’re ready to stop acting like a twat!” she yelled over him.

“Al-*sputter*-right! I’m up!” he shouted, jumping off the couch. “What the bloody hell, woman?” 

“No, what the bloody hell you, Potter!” she screamed, silencing him. “First, I wait an hour for you at brunch and you don’t show up, something that you forced me to agree to. And then I get a letter from Sirius asking me if I’ve been able to reach you at all in the past month. That no one has seen you and that your parents are worried that you might have been taken by dark wizards!”

“Love, let me ex-“

“And what is this about you thinking about quitting your Auror position?”

“It’s just that. I’m planning on quitting.” he says flatly, not wanting to argue with her.

“Why?”

“Why do you think, (Y/N)? What do you think made me run away and hide from everyone?”

(Y/N) flinched at his sudden change in tone, but her eyes flared up.

“You really are a selfish prick aren’t you, James?”

“What?” he asked, heatedly.

“You’re really going to waste away your life all for some girl?”

“You know better than anyone that she isn’t just some girl to me.” 

“Because I know better than anyone, I’m trying to knock some sense into you!” she shouted, frustrated. Realizing how loud she was being, she took a moment to take a deep breath and stepped towards him, before continuing. “Look James, I feel sorry for you. I really do. I just wish you’d bear it better.“

“You don’t have to feel sorry for me, (Y/N). You’ll feel the same way one day.”

She took a step back at his words, with a heavy frown on her lips. James felt a wave of guilt wash over him, seeing her physical response to his hurtful words, but didn’t move. 

“No, I’d choose to be respected if I couldn’t be loved,” she responded, her gaze unwavering from his. “Whatever this is, I don’t want to be any part of it. I’ll let Sirius know you’re here. Not for your sake but because Sirius is my friend and I don’t want him, Fleamont and Euphemia, and anyone else to fall sick worrying over you.” 

(Y/N) didn’t give him a chance to respond, apparating away quickly, and leaving James standing alone in his now quiet flat.

_____

*According to Harry Potter Wiki, “…because owls can find any witch or wizard who a letter is addressed to, those who do not wish to be contacted must cast Repelling, Disguising, or Masking spells, of which a wide variety exist.” That’s why Sirius’ owl found (Y/N) at James’ flat, but no one knew James was or could contact him.

*Hope you like this part. I’m using quotes from Amy and Laurie from the Greta Gerwig’s version of Little Women, but adding my own spin on the story. Safe readings! :)

*edit: Part 3 here!

[carewyncromwell]

Hey, guys! So I don’t really have enough material in this most recent side quest to work with to create full roleplaying posts for it (largely because the writing for this quest was stilted as all get out and there really weren’t very high stakes)...so instead, I’ll be doing something a little different, and simply writing out my personal rewrite of the quest’s storyline, as performed by my MC, Carewyn. Most of the overall framework of what happened in the quest will still be there, but I will try to flesh out or rewrite some things to hopefully better develop the ideas and help them more smoothly fit into canon. Hope you enjoy!

When Lucius Malfoy first arrived at Hogwarts, Carewyn was immediately suspicious of him. She wasn’t familiar with the man, but she thought that his timing of coming to Hogwarts for an inspection only after the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher went on the run from the law reeked of the school governors and/or Ministry of Magic wanting to put forward a good show of looking after the students for the press, so that they couldn’t be condemned for their inaction.*

* = (Yes, I know this quest is supposed to be aimed at year 2, but...well...I honestly can’t justify why year 2 would be when an inspection would happen. I suppose the Ice Curse was still in effect, but it’s not like the Ministry or the school governors took any action in response to the danger of the Vaults, even though it seems like the perfect ammunition for Lucius to use against Dumbledore. He was able to coax all of the school governors to sack Dumbledore in the name of saving students during the Chamber of Secrets arc later on, so it feels like this could’ve been done here too, if the Ice Vault was still raging. Dumbledore would also have little reason to think we’re “good at solving mysteries” if this takes place in year 2, since we at that point haven’t even successfully dealt with one Cursed Vault yet. So in this version of events, Lucius has only just become a school governor in anticipation of his son, Draco, attending school in the next few years. And because the Statue Vault and Rakepick are currently being tackled by the Ministry already, Lucius doesn’t really have any more action he can take. It also makes very little sense for a five-year-old Draco to be brought along to Hogwarts. His mother Narcissa is a stay-at-home mother, and even in the films, it’s pretty clear she -- and Lucius, at least in the books -- wouldn’t want her precious bb boy being taken care of by a pair of strangers with no experience in child-rearing. And I don’t think either movie! or book!Lucius would want any “bad influences” like protagonist MC around his son at that age, either -- at least by age nine, Draco would be pretty locked into the pureblood beliefs he’s been raised with, and since he’d be attending school in two years, it would give Draco a good preview of what his school life will be like ahead of time.)

Carewyn’s suspicions only heightened when Flitwick summoned her and Ben to the Charms classroom and Lucius Malfoy was there talking to Professor Flitwick. She had been very flattered by Flitwick’s praise of her Charm work...but the way Lucius looked at her when he turned to her...

Even though yes, Carewyn didn’t like the mention of Jacob, there was something else she could sense in Lucius’s eyes -- something intrigued. Although he smiled very pleasantly, there was a definite marked interest in his voice, not unlike how Professor Tofty greeted her upon first meeting. Lucius had definitely heard a lot more than just about Jacob -- but despite this, Carewyn merely gave Lucius a very cool smile in return.

Lucius’s condescension toward Ben for his blood status only made Carewyn dislike Lucius all the more. When he’d left the room, Carewyn agreed with Ben’s distaste for the school governor immediately.

“Professor Flitwick,” she said slowly, “are the Malfoys an old Wizarding family?” Carewyn had heard plenty of stories about her mother’s family and their particular dislike of Muggles, so it seemed logical to think the Malfoys were like them.

Flitwick had confirmed that yes, they were, adding that Lucius could be difficult sometimes. “But he is one of the school governors,” he’d said. “So we simply must cooperate.“

After Potions class, Merula and Carewyn were both forwarded to Dumbledore’s office by their Head of House, Severus Snape. While waiting for Lucius Malfoy to arrive, Merula explained a bit more about Lucius Malfoy’s history with Voldemort, which thoroughly justified Carewyn’s distrust of the man. When Dumbledore and Lucius arrived, however, Carewyn and Merula soon found themselves roped into looking after Lucius’s son, the bratty nine-year-old Draco Malfoy.

Okay -- I know a lot of people liked how Draco was portrayed in the game and enjoyed how he (if you picked to protect his secret) expressed genuine admiration for MC, but...yeah, in this version of events, he’s not nearly so cute. (I mean, come on, in the books, Harry compared Draco to Dudley on first meeting -- this kid has some serious issues with empathy and a real selfish streak. He might be a lot more clever than Dudley, but in my mind, he should be pretty fun to hate at this stage, rather than cute.)

For one, because he’s older, Draco’s in less need of babysitting and more in need of guidance. Lucius thought it only fitting that two such promising students show Draco the best Hogwarts has to offer -- and Draco, being older and therefore even more entitled, arrogant, and condescending than he’s portrayed in the game, was sizing up his competition just as much as he was tailing after them. His father Lucius had told him all about Merula’s parents and about Carewyn’s reputation as a Cursebreaker, so he knew that both girls were incredibly powerful and thus were both people Draco should have in his circle, whether as allies or as pawns. While Lucius was at school, he became very talented at making connections, which has served him well in the present by giving him the power to either sway or pressure people into doing things his way -- and Draco not only is expected to do the same, but the young Malfoy heir is eager to follow in his father’s footsteps and already be the “big man on campus” when he starts at Hogwarts. Even if both Carewyn and Merula will be graduated by the time he starts school, those ties could still be very beneficial down the road.

That being said, Draco and Merula did still instantly end up at each other’s throats. Even if Draco was supposed to “get Carewyn and Merula in his circle,” thanks to his spoiled upbringing by his parents, Draco has no social skills whatsoever, and so has little idea of how to charm people without putting down others in the process. Even though (or perhaps because) Merula was a bully herself most of her school career, she reacted very harshly to Draco’s nasty attitude, and soon the two were verbally smacking each other around with barbed, personal insults.

Despite her growing dislike for both Lucius and his son, Carewyn did everything she could to be the mediating force between them and even successfully distracted Draco by asking about his interests and taking him to the Quidditch pitch. Not long after they arrived, Draco succeeded in snatching a spare broom and started flying around the pitch.

Merula sincerely hoped that he’d fall and break his neck, but Carewyn -- even if she didn’t particularly like Draco -- knew it’d be terrible if he did hurt himself. So she boarded her own Cleansweep (which she’d kept locked in the Slytherin Quidditch tent, in case one of Orion’s players needed a spare broom) and took off after Draco.

Once in the air, Carewyn kept her wand close in case something went wrong. Fortunately she needn’t have feared -- within a minute, she could see that Draco was a very talented flier. In an attempt to distract him away from fighting with Merula, Carewyn suggested that she could teach Draco some flying tricks. Draco was scornful at first, until Carewyn weaved through the stands and threaded the needle through all three goal posts before sweeping into an extreme dive and pulling up mere feet from the ground. She smirked up at Draco, folding her legs over her broom so she could lean back effortlessly with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Ready for a lesson now, Mr. Malfoy?” she called up to him coolly.

The young Malfoy heir couldn’t hide the greedy look in his eye at the thought of learning those cool tricks, nor could he hide how thrilled he was learning how to do an extreme dive.

Once the two had finally come back down to the ground, Draco asked Carewyn if she was on the Slytherin Quidditch team. When she said no, explaining that she just didn’t have the time to devote to Quidditch, Draco reacted with scorn.

“Because of those Vaults, I guess?” he presumed.

He said that his father had told him all about Carewyn’s Cursebreaking, and her family too -- that her brother was a delinquent and her mother had run away from home to marry a Muggle. Merula was actually a bit startled by this, not having heard that particular fact about Carewyn’s mother, but Carewyn herself kept her temper, even as her tone grew cooler and dryer than ever.

“My family may not be perfect, but I’m proud of it, all the same,” she said softly.

What she didn’t add out loud was, “I certainly wouldn’t be proud of my family if I were in your shoes.”

A bit miffed he hadn’t been able to get a rise out of Carewyn, Draco soon enough turned his attentions back to Merula. He ranted about how his father had said Hogwarts was going to the dogs and about how they had so many Mudbloods amongst their ranks. Carewyn stiffened very sharply at the use of the word.

“That is not a word to be used in civilized conversation,” she told him very severely.

“My father says it all the time,” Draco argued.

“Really?” said Carewyn, her lips turning up in a cool smile. “Don’t reckon that’s something you should admit too readily, given your own family’s history -- I wager a fair number of people at this school would hex you to belch slugs for using a word like that.”

Merula's face broke out into a smug smirk. “Don’t give me any ideas, Cromwell.”

This change in topic, however, led to Draco wanting a proper dueling lesson from Merula and Carewyn. Naturally, because Draco didn’t have a wand of his own and they certainly weren’t going to lend him theirs, the two girls refused -- and soon enough, they got word that Lucius was finished with his inspection and would be leaving the school soon.

Of course, that didn’t happen, because sure enough, Lucius’s wand went missing. The prime suspect? The Malfoy family house elf, Dobby.

Carewyn had little experience with house-elves prior to Dobby (only having met Pitts the previous year), so the poor elf’s maltreatment at the Malfoys’ hands greatly upset her. Determined to prove his innocence, she asked Dobby to tell her whatever he could say without hurting himself and -- upon Dobby trying to smack his own head against the ground -- she actually bent down and grabbed hold of him in both hands to try to wrestle him into not hurting himself.

“It’s okay, Dobby,” she kept telling him. “I’ll make sure you don’t get blamed.”

It didn’t take long at all for Carewyn to get to the bottom of who had taken the wand. If Dobby felt he couldn’t tell her who the thief was because he couldn’t speak ill of the Malfoy family, then there was only one possible suspect. Catching up with Merula and Draco, she confronted the Malfoy heir about having taken his father’s wand. Draco denied it at first, but pretty quickly came clean.

“I’m not too young to learn how to duel!” he said. “I wouldn’t have borrowed Father’s wand if you’d just lent me yours!”

After some prodding, Draco admitted where he’d hidden his father’s wand. It didn’t take long for Merula to find it.

Despite the younger boy’s bravado, though, Carewyn could still tell that Draco hadn’t meant for this whole thing to go so far. He wasn’t really sorry about the thought that Dobby could be blamed for something he did -- but he’d enjoyed what he’d learned so far and wanted to stay at Hogwarts a little longer so he could learn some spells.

Feeling some compassion despite herself, Carewyn sat down on the edge of the fountain next to Draco.

“If you give me your solemn word only to use this in a formal duel,” she said very seriously, “I will teach you one spell. Do we have a deal?”

His eyes once again greedy for knowledge, Draco nodded and eagerly agreed. Holding out her wand in front of her, Carewyn told Draco to put his hand on top of hers. Then she walked him step-by-step through the wand movements for the spell “Everte Sactum,” the Stumbling Hex.

“When you cast this correctly, it will hurl your opponent off their feet,” she explained. “That can then give you the time you need to get away, if you’re in trouble.”

Her eyes then narrowed sharply upon Draco’s face. “Remember your word, though -- you will only use this in a duel, not for fun. Got it?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Draco said breezily, but he was grinning from ear to ear all the same.

The group met back up with Lucius Malfoy and Dumbledore in the Headmaster’s Office. When Lucius asked Carewyn who had stolen the wand, she answered simply,

“No one, as far as I can tell. Merula found it on the floor near the Entrance Hall -- no thief to be seen.”

After all, Draco had only admitted to “borrowing” his father’s wand -- not stealing it.

”There’s no evidence that Dobby couldn’t have still taken it,” said Lucius.

Dobby shook his head frantically, wringing his hands desperately as he insisted he didn’t take the wand and never would. Carewyn very gently cut off Dobby’s denials by pointing out that house elves can’t lie to or speak ill of their masters without hurting themselves. The fact that Dobby was not hurting himself while claiming he didn’t take the wand was proof in itself that he didn’t commit the crime. And everyone must be considered innocent until proven guilty...right?

Lucius considered Carewyn carefully, his gray eyes oddly critical and shrewd upon her face -- then he inclined his head in an abridged nod.

“...Wisely said, Miss Cromwell. You could be an excellent lawyer, with sentiments such as those.”

His gray eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly as his lips curled up in a cool smile.

“I daresay that would please your grandfather quite a bit.”

Carewyn’s blood ran cold. Lucius Malfoy was in touch with her grandfather, Charles Cromwell? She’d never met her mother’s father before -- but given that Lucius Malfoy spoke highly of him, she wondered more than ever if she was incredibly fortunate in that...

For his part, Lucius seemed satisfied by how taken aback Carewyn was and, with a flourish of his cloak, swept toward the office door.

“Come, Draco,” he called over his shoulder.

Before Draco left, he paused, turning back to look at Carewyn.

“I won’t forget that,” he said. “What you did.”

He didn’t need to articulate what he meant.

“And I swear -- when we’re both done at Hogwarts, we’ll meet again, Cromwell. And when we do, I’ll be the greatest wizard ever -- greater than you could ever be.”

Despite the arrogance in his expression, Draco was still grinning from ear to ear in a kind of vicious determination.

Carewyn’s blue eyes grew a little smaller as she smirked in return.

“Good ambition. Just keep in mind -- there are many ways to be ‘great.’“

With an offhand scoff, Draco turned on his heel and followed his father, not fully able to bite back the smile still clinging to his lips.

When Dumbledore, Carewyn, and Merula were out of earshot, Lucius spoke to Draco at last.

“She knew you took my wand, didn’t she?” he asked.

Draco, although startled, reluctantly nodded.

“And yet she dared lie to my face,” said Lucius in dark amusement. “Rather effectively, too. Tell me -- what did you think of her, Draco?”

Draco shrugged offhandedly. “All right, I guess. She’s a decent flier -- and her spellwork’s okay.”

“Coming from you, that’s high praise,” said Lucius dryly. His lips curled up in a wry smile. “Seems I was right to think I should keep an eye on her advancement...”

Dobby was so grateful to Carewyn that he said that if she ever needed him, she only had to ask. Carewyn was very happy for that -- she had a feeling that she could use at least one friend in the Malfoy household, if Lucius really had such close ties to her mother’s family.

[darkpoisonouslove]

Lucifer and Chloe and children. (And potentially having one.)

I finally managed to get this done after a lot of panicking over it but I actually liked how it turned out. I hope you’ll like it too.

Chloe shook her head as she watched Trixie bolt from the couch and into her room to look for something most certainly connected to the argument she and Lucifer had been having for the last few minutes. He hadn’t given in despite the fact that he was arguing with a twelve-year-old and while some kids–and parents–might have found that inappropriate, Trixie always enjoyed being treated like an equal and not getting handed things just because she was still a kid. And even though Chloe was half-sure Lucifer wasn’t doing it on purpose and was just a slave to his ego in the situation, she was ready to give him the benefit of the doubt since he always surprised her with much deeper understanding and care than she’d expected. Usually, the surprise only came after he’d done something outrageous first but it was enough to know he learned from his mistakes. Most people didn’t really, and it made him special, getting him a place in her life even when he made her want to throw him out of the car in motion.

“Are you sure Candy isn’t going to pop up with a child a few months in the future?” Chloe asked as she made her way back to the couch. She wasn’t yet in a place where jokes about Lucifer’s soon-to-be ex wife didn’t leave a bitter taste in her mouth but for the purpose of the conversation she could swallow her own feelings. She hoped that talking openly even on a topic she didn’t like would make Lucifer want to do the same.

Lucifer looked at her with that startled look he gave when she’d said something that had hit him over the head with a dawning realization that had been long overdue. “Chloe-”

“Because I think you’ll make for a great father,” Chloe said, not wishing to let them fall down the rabbit hole that Candy was again. They’d talked about that and she preferred they didn’t do it again. Not now at least. There were still feelings to sort out there and she wanted to get a handle on those first before diving into that mess of a situation. Lucifer was there now, without a wife on his arm, so that would have to be enough for now.

Lucifer chuckled but there was no mirth in the sound, only confusion and what sounded like fear hidden behind an attempt at deflection. “Detective, have you perhaps inhaled too much smoke from the joint I had earlier today?” Lucifer said, stressing the word he was trying to get her to focus on.

She had to admit that he had a point. And perhaps she had lost her mind to think someone with his bacchanal lifestyle could raise a child but she knew she wasn’t wrong. Lifestyles could change but it was harder to turn into something you’re not. And Lucifer was a caring person. He’d shown that time and time again and he’d convinced her it was his true nature even when he was also being selfish a big portion of the time. He did care about the people he loved, about his friends, and that she could never doubt. Even when he pulled a stupid and hurtful stunt. He came back and even if it was hard for him to apologize or he was thinking there was no reason to, he stuck around for the people he cared about. He’d always had her back.

“I know it sounds crazy,” Chloe said, allowing herself to tease just for a moment before she turned serious again, “but you’re good in family things.” She was as sincere as she’d ever been. And she didn’t just mean the family games he played with her and Trixie. He was loyal, sometimes even stupidly so. He was honest, even with his convoluted metaphors. He was involved, sometimes to a point that was downright annoying and prying into people’s privacy. He was protective, even if he tried to play it cool and uncaring. He was doing his best to understand people, or at least understand her. He was her partner and she couldn’t wish for another person to trust with her life.

Lucifer scoffed. “Need I remind you of my family situation? Because dear old dad definitely doesn’t seem to agree with you. He wouldn’t have cast me out of heaven otherwise,” Lucifer said, his voice getting that tone of anger and bitterness that remind her too much of how she’d spoken to him when he’d come back from Vegas with Candy and it did drive home the point of how hurt he must have been by his father’s actions, stopping her from rolling her eyes at the devil concept. It wasn’t the time for him to drag them into that.

“It doesn’t matter what he thinks,” Chloe said, earning herself a look of wonder from Lucifer that she understood as much as she didn’t. He’d openly shown his displeasure with his father and yet, he seemed struck by the notion her words expressed even if it had been behind all his comments on the topic along with the clear feeling of embitterment over the whole matter. “It matters what you think and what you want,” she reached and placed a hand on his only to see the emotion in his eyes intensify. “And I think... I think you want a family,” Chloe said, wondering if perhaps she wasn’t pushing it when it was better to just stay away. But she wanted to believe that that was what had seen him marrying a stripper. She wanted to think that their kiss–especially combined with her near death experience after–had scared him with what it could lead to and even more so with the potential of things falling apart on the way there so he’d gone for the easy option and he’d gotten a family but he’d quickly realized it wasn’t what he wanted, or rather, not the way he wanted it.

“Detective...” Lucifer wanted to say something but there was something else stopping him and even despite all the confusion and lack of clarity in the situation Chloe understood. Or at least she wanted to think she did.

“You have a family, Lucifer. With all of your friends.” They had their differences, of course, but she was sure none of them would ever abandon the others. She was living with Maze of all people and Linda was being patient with Lucifer’s metaphors while Ella was giving hugs to everyone she could get her hands on and between all of that, she felt like she was a part of a big, crazy family. And she really hoped Lucifer felt like that too. “We’re all here for you because we want to be. Because you make us want to be your friends,” Chloe said, feeling the tears coming into her eyes and making a blur of her vision just like her emotions were in her heart. She felt a lot for Lucifer and even if he was pushing her past her limits sometimes, she couldn’t imagine her life without him now that he was a part of it. It had been what had scared her so much when he’d disappeared, and had then upset her when he’d come back with a wife by his side. It had felt like a threat to her place in his life and the loneliness of that had terrified her. So she hoped he didn’t feel like he had no one either.

“Thank you, detective,” Lucifer said, his voice soft like she was trying to convince herself it was only when he talked to her. “You gave me enough proof that you really are high right now,” Lucifer spoke, making her roll her eyes hard this time but she wasn’t quick to remove her hand from his and he didn’t seem to mind either.

Chloe only pulled away when Trixie came in running again and squished herself between them. “Hey, monkey,” Chloe said as she pulled her closer because Trixie could never come between her and Lucifer. In fact, she was yet another part of the family she’d talked about and she knew Lucifer knew that for certain too. For Trixie was always expressing her affection towards him openly and directly, unafraid of any potential consequences of her actions. And she hoped Lucifer and her would learn to do that too, side by side like they did everything else since they were partners.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 129: Stuck Together

“I’m afraid right now.”

And here, after almost a hundred and thirty episodes of waiting, do we finally see that Lars can make a change.

The Good Lars was a great start, with Lars opening up enough to suggest that he might take a risk and let the Cool Kids know something real about himself. But he never makes it to the party, and as we learn here, it wasn’t because he was abducted. I Am My Mom proves that those events didn’t transform Lars, as when the going gets tough his instinct is self-preservation over all else. But these two incidents in quick succession, combined with his capture and uncertain future, yank him kicking and screaming into the realm of sincerity.

But not at first. After Aquamarine starts the episode off with Steven, reminding us of the recent plot and her all-around awfulness, Lars is discovered just in time to prove that he’s frustrating as well. It’s a different shade, as Aquamarine is a bully at every opportunity while Lars lashes out as a reaction to feeling pathetic, but he has the chance to be an ally when Steven needs one the most, and it’s lousy that he chooses spite.

Don’t get me wrong, Aquamarine is worse for sure: there’s no reason to further ensnare her captives now that they’re on the ship, and the process is uncomfortable for the humans and Topaz, but she orders it anyway. She goes back on her word by refusing to return Lars, which is predictable given they’re already in space, but still displays her lack of honor. She’s not even good at telling jokes, unhelpfully explaining that her fake tear is her gem. And while Lars evolves over the course of the episode, the idea that she would do likewise is silly enough to fuel the episode’s best sight gag.

Still, I’ll give her this: considering how she revels in lording over Topaz, and considering Topaz not only disobeys her but attacks her, Aquamarine has a single quiet moment of empathy when she chooses to let bygones be bygones. It’s the lowest of bars, as she only does so after breaking Topaz’s will and on the condition that Topaz follow her commands, and saying that “we’ll never speak of this again” shows that she wants this toxic status quo to remain forever, but this is a character who takes glee in cruelty, so it’s fascinating that she doesn’t leap at the chance to punish Topaz further. It’s the tiniest speck of affection you could hope for, and it doesn’t come close to “redeeming” Aquamarine, but it’s there, showing that even this little monster has an ounce of depth.

While Lars might have similar jerk vibes, railing against Steven and refusing to even try and break free, it’s just his starting point. Stuck Together crystallizes the loop that has defined Lars up to this point: he’s mean, then he gets some sympathy, then he seems ready to change, then he’s mean again. But there’s a big difference this time, and it’s not just the setting: after putting up with it for the entire series, Steven is done with Lars’s nonsense.

When Lars blames Steven for the alien invasion, Steven doesn’t even apologize, instead saying that of course he’s the reason aliens invaded, but he did everything he could to help and Lars should’ve escaped better. This is huge, as it not only breaks with Steven’s usual patience for Lars’s behavior, but comes at a time when Steven is feeling so low that we might expect more than ever for him to wallow in his failure. We then get into miscommunication: first Steven calls Lars worthless, meaning well but feeding into Lars’s insecurities, then Steven does a shoddy job of explaining a shoddy plan (how the heck was Lars supposed to lasso anything on the other side of the room?). This is not his best self, but if he was thinking things through he probably wouldn’t be on a ship hurtling towards the Diamonds in the first place.

Between the stress of recent events and his frustration with Lars, Steven snaps in a way that’s reminiscent of, well, Lars: short-tempered and impulsive and frazzled and loud. Lars admits at last that he’s always been driven by fear, and that Steven’s enduring faith in him only makes the problem worse. In the same way Lars thinks baking is lame because he likes doing it and he’s lame, he takes it as a given that he’s a wuss, so hearing anyone say otherwise is annoying rather than encouraging. But by explaining it aloud, the flip of personalities begins to form: now Lars is pepping up an ornery Steven, and Steven completes the puzzle by admitting his own fear.

It’s not as simple as Lars becoming Steven and Steven becoming Lars, but both take major cues from the other. And when Lars goes further in his tentative enthusiasm, Steven cuts him off by revealing a brilliant new wrinkle in their relationship: because he’s an optimistic kid with parent figures who have always sugarcoated the bitterness of life, he appreciates the one person who's willing to talk about how much things can suck. And in this new era of his life, where it’s become clear that the sugarcoating extends past white lies and into major secret territory, it’s more important than ever to have a friend who tells it like it is. There’s been an underlying notion in their entire relationship that Steven wants to help Lars out, but it’s so much more meaningful to hear that Steven hangs out with Lars because Lars is a crank. 

This doesn’t mean Lars was perfect the way he was, or else his arc wouldn’t involve him changing. But there’s a huge difference between changing because it’s what makes other people comfortable and changing because it’s good for your soul, and this would be a very different story if Lars only grew to make Steven’s life better. Instead, it takes Steven showing Lars the value of his flaws for Lars to see enough value in himself to want to improve. 

We wait just long enough on Topaz for her voice to matter most, threading the needle between emotional beat and punchline. Martha Higareda sells her change of heart in no time, showing the first instance of a same-Gem fusion having the deep relationship we’ve seen from cross-Gem fusions like Garnet; perhaps our ornery rubies are closer than we think when they form Big Ole Ruby, but we haven’t seen any evidence of it. 

In lesser hands it might be hackneyed for the stoic character to reveal a soft heart, because the gentle giant is a bog-standard “don’t judge a book by its cover” trope. But this is our fifth episode in a row featuring Topaz as a wordless brute, first as a silhouette and then contrasted with a talkative brat of a partner. Are You My Dad in takes her into monster movie territory, complete with bloodcurdling music and tree-clearing stomps when she reveals her body full of writhing captives, and squeezing Jamie’s head in I Am My Mom is the most visceral threat we’ve seen a human face on the show. This isn’t just some big galoot opening up, it’s a Terminator showing she was a real girl all along.

A big reason why this works is that we don’t go full cloying, instead tempering the reveal with humor that’s both inherent (we don’t expect Topaz to get this emotional) and specific (using Steven’s pants to wipe the tears away). Instead of swinging for a Big Moment that exposes Topaz’s turmoil in a dramatic fashion, the mood is quiet and sweet. Topaz isn’t just a softy, she’s sort of a dork, and that extra bit of characterization for someone we’ll never see again in the original series is what makes Steven Universe so great. Effort always matters!

After seeing Steven help not one but two people begin to change, we see that he’s still stuck in his own rut of martyrdom: he plans to send Lars back alone and continue along his sacrificial path. Perhaps there’s a level of rationality to this, as if they both escaped then the ship would turn right back around to Earth. But Steven isn’t operating on rational thought, and he hasn’t been since his friends were first endangered: going to the Diamonds as Rose Quartz might secure his friends’ safety, but at the cost of near-certain death, so from a pure odds perspective it’d be better to go to the Zoo incognito where known allies like the Zoomans and Famethyst could help out. But he’s acting out of a misguided sense of duty, so he doesn’t express any tactical purpose for sending Lars away, instead repeating the idea that he must pay for Rose’s actions.

The perfect response to the downside of Steven’s selflessness is Lars presenting the upside of his selfishness. It might not be brave to run away, and Lars might only be on the ship in the first place because he ran away, but he’s right: if Steven doesn’t want to be punished for his mother’s mistakes, he shouldn’t have to be. It might be the easy way out, but we just saw Steven praise Lars’s ability to cut through the BS and find the truth, and here we see a prime example. And for just a second, Steven thinks about it.

But then Aquamarine barges in, because Steven isn’t allowed to learn his lesson quite yet. In the same way corruption is the Diamonds’ greatest sin, attacking many of their own troops to spite their foes, this is perhaps Aquamarine at her worst: it’s one thing to bully your enemies, but cruelty to a partner is a step beyond. Contrast has defined Topaz and Aquamarine from the moment we saw their shadows, and this is the final stage. We already knew one was big and the other was small, one was quiet and the other was chatty, but both acted as a single front with different but united antagonism. Now one is an ally and the other is an opponent, one is cute and the other is vicious, and while Topaz might have the upper hand in a physical fight and the heart to do the right thing, Aquamarine only needs her words and her ruthlessness to win the day.

This is the last we’ll see of Topaz and Aquamarine until the time jump, and it’s surprisingly brutal. We got a test-run of this story with Holly Blue Agate, another cerulean tyrant dominating a larger, friendlier force (this time in terms of size as well as numbers), and it ended with our new friends overcoming their oppressor. Not this time. Aquamarine emerges victorious, while Topaz splits up and slumps away in defeat, and that’s it until Steven Universe Future gives the latter a happy ending at Little Homeschool and the former a new role as Team Rocket villain.

Topaz getting her brief burst of joy snatched away sets the mood for our Homeworld adventure. We’ve long known that the Crystal Gems are a stubborn group of rocks, but at least they have the freedom to change if they wish. Homeworld Gem stubbornness is reinforced by a society that persecutes anyone that doesn’t fall in line, from the outcast Off Colors to the Diamonds themselves. 

But the mood of this arc is also set by Lars, because like the ending of Stuck Together, this is a story about Lars being taken away from Steven. But it’s also a story where Steven helps Lars change, and with change comes a glimmer of hope.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

A great showcase for Steven and Lars, and a great coda for Aquamarine and Topaz. There’s not quite enough going on for it to make my favorites list, but it’s up there.

Top Twenty-Five

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

When It Rains

The Good Lars

Catch and Release

Chille Tid

I Am My Mom

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Room for Ruby

Lion 4: Alternate Ending

Doug Out

Are You My Dad?

Stuck Together

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

Tiger Philanthropist

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

(No promo art for this one, so I went with Jastea’s gorgeous take on Topaz.)

[erekiosuncreativeideas]

Reliving An Old Nightmare - Chapter 12

<= Chapter 11

Summary : Snatcher and Vanessa have a conversation, featuring someone else. Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/22337299/chapters/55902100

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SORRY FOR POSTING LATE. I was *so* stuck with this chapter that it gave me a writing block and an art block for 2 weeks! Of all the chapters that I had to write and plan to write in the future, it definitely was one of the hardest.

Thinking about writing Vanessa's and Snatcher's conversation was really stressful to me, and, well... I procrastinated on Animal Crossing.

Then I started another AHIT fanfic which helped me to regain my inspiration, but, well, I'll keep this one as a secret for now until I write more of it :)

Please don't hesitate to leave a like or reblog this chapter, as it really has been hard for me to write, more than any I've written until now for this fanfic I think. Thank you in advance !!

Also, no drawing for this chapter, because, well... You know how I have this habit of splitting chapters into several parts when I end up writing too much for a single chapter? Welp, this happened here. So the drawing I had made for this chapter will eventually be used for the 13th chapter, sorry ! I really wish I could have drawn something, but... I didn't know what to draw and I didn't want to make you wait longer, so... Have a drawing-less chapter !

Happy reading !!

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Chapter 12

Snatcher had come to think that humans were fragile little creatures. They were so weak, so easily afraid… Animals with a conscience, driven by instincts and stupid emotions. With shaking knees, they would beg him to spare them, to let them go, but the ghost always killed them afterwards. Listening to their pleas, to their death screams… Sure, the first souls he had snatched hadn’t been for pleasure, though he eventually got used to it. He even got to find it fun! As they always say: time and trauma really do change people!

Humans had distinct signs of fear: rapid breathing, heart pounding inside their chest, sweat all over their face, muscles completely frozen, shaky limbs… He had seen all kinds of reactions from his victims! At this point, one could say he was an expert on that topic. After all, not only had he killed many people after having stolen their souls, but he also murdered them using various and imaginative methods! Thrown into the swamps, blown up by his lasers, drown, hanged, split in two (that one was always fun), and many, many other types of death. Well, he did have to occupy himself during his long and boring afterlife!

But, for the very first time, at that precise moment, he felt exactly like the people he used to kill.

Panic had engulfed him whole, as Vanessa was leading him by the hand through the corridors of the manor. She was in front of him, pulling him faster and faster as seconds passed. Or maybe it was his imagination? If it was, the coldness of her hand certainly wasn’t. Vanessa was clearly mad at him and even his dumb old self would be able to see it. It was obvious: her body was tensed and she was using more strength, as if she was pulling a child somewhere to punish him. Well, it wasn’t very far from the truth, really.

They went through the different floors, and Snatcher could only be relieved not to be taken to the cellar again. Maybe he was going to have a bad time, but at least, it wouldn’t be down there. Every cloud had a silver lining!  He was being positive, here!

The ghost’s fear was soon replaced by confusion, as Vanessa stopped in front of his own bedroom. Why? The shade was almost expecting to be locked up in the attic at this point! Would she really just let him go back to his room without doing anything else than actually talking? He couldn’t believe it. There had to be something.

The Queen opened the door with a smile and pushed herself on the side to let him come in first. With great suspicion, Snatcher complied and entered the room, still staying very much vigilant. Vanessa was vicious, he knew that very well. He couldn’t take the risk of underestimating her or whatever she had planned for him now. His movements were slow and careful and his ex followed him into the room before closing the door behind her. Instinctively, Snatcher stepped away from her, not liking the idea of being alone in the same room as her. It made him feel rightfully quite nervous.

Vanessa dusted her dress a little bit as silence settled between the ex-couple. The ghost gulped down with difficulty, as he could only wait for her to decide what to do next. Eventually, she pointed to his bed, still smiling. However, Snatcher knew her well enough to understand that she wasn’t sincere.

-“Why don’t you sit down, dear?” she asked, in the nicest voice possible. But her eyes weren’t smiling and the sound of her words burnt like poison entering the shade’s ears. It sounded fake.

The ghost’s stance remained defensive as he slowly shook his head, frowning. He really didn’t like where this was going. It was way better than being shackled on the cellar’s wall, obviously, but that didn’t mean he would accept everything in comparison.

-“I’m fine standing up, thank you,” he replied, in a much harsher tone than what he first intended. He was still afraid -who wouldn’t be in his shoes?- but he had a lot of unfinished business with that awful woman.

The Queen’s smile wavered for an instant and Snatcher didn’t need to see more to know that he had annoyed her. Well, retorting always upset her in the past: it wasn’t much different now. Vanessa had always been hot-blooded, anything could get her angry or upset. Not being given what she wanted irritated her, not being able to do something exasperated her, and not being obeyed to made her mad. Especially if her Prince was the one to disagree with her.

-“I wasn’t asking,” replied Vanessa coldly. It contrasted even more with the fake smile on her face.

Snatcher understood quite fast the threat hidden in her answer: if he wasn’t going to sit down, she would make him. And honestly, he didn’t want to try and test her patience, even more when he knew how irritable she could be when things didn’t go her way. Silently and reluctantly, the shade complied once again, not without glaring at her in the process.

He hated her so much. He hated how selfish she was and had always been to him. He hated the very idea of having been in love with her in the past. And he loathed the fact that he could die a second time because of her.

He waited, knowing quite well that Vanessa wouldn’t appreciate him interrupting her one more time. Usually, Snatcher didn’t care about people’s feelings, especially Vanessa’s, but since he was now a mere mortal against someone who had mastered ice magic… He didn’t feel confident enough to put up a big fight.

Plus… He needed all possible chances to find that Time Piece, and creating problems wouldn’t help him in the least. If he wanted to get out of here as soon as possible, he had to put his pride aside. Yet, he absolutely loathed the idea of submitting to Vanessa, even just for a while. After everything she did to him… And kept doing, considering the position he was in at the moment, he wanted nothing more than to strangle her and kill her for good. Twice.

-“Now…” The Queen’s voice cut his inner monologue short and he got his attention back on her: “Where were you today?” was the first thing that came out of her mouth.

Snatcher felt all the muscles of his body turn cold as soon as the words came to his ears. He had expected that question, yes, but it was always different to imagine a situation and actually experiencing it. As for where he was, well… He definitely had no intention of mentioning the kid nor her spaceship in any way. So he could only come up with excuses and hope for the best. But, deep down, he was worried and rightfully so: Vanessa always knew how to tell if he was lying or not. Sure, Snatcher had become better at it with years of being dead, but so did she.

He really was nervous, and keeping a straight face in front of his murderer was far from easy:

-“I went for a walk after the argument with my parents,” he answered with the most neutral voice he could make: “Am I not allowed to do that?”

His ex’s smile widened in return, though Snatcher could tell that it certainly wasn’t a good thing. The way she was looking at him was enough to inform him that she was growing impatient and exasperated with him. She probably saw through his lies right away, just like he feared. But it didn’t change the fact that he absolutely could not talk about the kid. Not to her.

-“Oh, you are, you are!” she replied with a sweet voice, joining both hands together as she continued: “But I have to admit that I have some doubts.”

There it was. Snatcher gulped down in a way he hoped to be discreet, but he knew better.

-“With your broken leg, and the other one being quite injured as well… I have trouble imagining you going very far, especially for a whole day! Don’t you find it strange as well, Alistel?”

It was indeed very strange. Finding a reason for such a long absence, especially with how painful walking was to him… He had to admit that his excuse wasn’t a good one, to begin with. However, that didn’t prevent him from retorting, lifting his hands as he spoke again:

-“Well, it’s the truth. What do you want me to say?”

His attitude must have annoyed the Queen a bit too much, as the smile finally disappeared from her face. It was replaced by a much more serious expression that didn’t reassure Snatcher at all. She stepped closer to him, shortening the distance between them.

-“I know you’re aware of what’s going on,” she murmured, her eyes fixed on his. She stopped just in front of him, while the ghost’s breath got stuck in his throat. He didn’t like where this was going and he disliked the look on her face even more. Before he was able to move, she gently put her hands on his shoulders, forcing him to remain where he was. Snatcher’s entire body froze from the contact and his heart skipped a beat. He felt like a bucket full of cold water had just been dumped right on him.

He was terrified. As much as he wanted to scream at her, doing so while she was so close to him, when she was much more powerful than him… His mind wanted to fight, but his body turned a deaf ear. Snatcher wanted to tell her to let go of him, to go away… But he couldn’t. No sound came out of his opened mouth.

All he could do was to listen, as she continued, this time with a nicer tone that felt strangely more sincere than before:

-“I know you…‌Remember,” she started again, lightly digging her fingers in the shade’s shoulders, who was completely unable to move at that point: “And I know you might still be mad at me for what happened… But you left me no choice!”

Snatcher frowned: what did she just say?

He didn’t have the time to ask her that as she kept going, not letting him the time to interrupt:

-“I may have overdone it, yes… But you were the one who cheated on me in the first place!”

Snatcher couldn’t believe what he was hearing at that moment. Was she seriously trying to defend herself for having murdered him? She couldn’t be that stupid, could she? Though, the sincere expression painted on her face was enough of an answer to him. She was convinced that everything that had happened was his fault, not hers.

She was exactly the same as before. She had never changed in all those years. She was still the same old Queen that never wanted to admit being responsible for a problem. She had never regretted what she had one to him or to all the Subcon villagers, even the children. All that mattered to her was her own happiness, no matter what she had to break or destroy to obtain it.

The ghost had never wanted to kill her so badly in his entire life and afterlife combined.

-“Are you being serious right now?” he finally replied, with a very dangerous tone.

Vanessa remained stunned for a while, probably not expecting that kind of response from him.

-“What do you mean?” she asked, confused. She then placed both of her hands over her heart and continued, offended: “Of course I am! You can’t have forgotten what you did to me! You broke my heart and flirted with… With that woman!”

Snatcher’s brows rose as his anger was becoming more and more palpable as time passed. So she was being serious, and he wasn’t even surprised. A dense feeling of hatred engulfed him as he glared at her.

-“I broke your heart? Excuse me? You broke mine!” He was so outraged by what she had just told him that he couldn’t help but stand up, forcing her to step back. Words were leaving his mouth on their own, as if finally, he had the chance of getting everything out of his chest: “I was buying you flowers! Because I was in love with you! And what did you do when I came back with them? You locked me up in a cellar and left me to die! And I’m the one who broke your heart? Please, stop, you’re making things worse for yourself, here.”

He stopped, catching his breath. In front of him, Vanessa was silent, unmoving, as if she was still processing what he had just screamed at her. She seemed astonished and Snatcher quickly understood why: he had never raised his voice against her like this. She did. That was certainly why she was so surprised. But soon, her bewilderment was replaced by fury, as her brows frowned and her face became redder and redder with anger. The air around her suddenly became much colder and the ghost could see the tip of her hair turning black. Her eyes were turning red and she was glaring at him in a way she had never done before. She was livid.

-“You’re lying! You never loved me! You played with me!” She suddenly pointed an accusing finger at him: “You went to see her today, didn’t you?”

Snatcher’s face grew pale. Did she know about the kid? He gulped down with difficulty.

-“What are you talking about?” he questioned, trying to look ignorant enough. But his ex wasn’t buying it and the ghost jumped when she screamed once again:

-“That florist!” Ice spread on the ground around her as her voice resonated in the room and probably in the entire manor too. “Anger” wasn’t enough to describe her state of mind at the moment. Her hair was becoming blacker as seconds went by and she seemed out of breath, as if, just like him, she was getting something out of her chest: “I’m giving us the chance to get things right, to erase your past mistakes, and that’s how you’re thanking me? You ingrate!”

Snatcher was well past simple “anger” as well the second she pronounced those last sentences. She couldn’t have said that, she couldn’t be that stupid… But here she was, telling him how she was doing the right thing, like she was the mature adult in this story!

What a joke.

-“You? Doing the right thing?” He stepped forward, making her back away once again: “Don’t make me laugh,” he responded, in the most spiteful tone he could manage.

The shade then pointed to their surroundings:

-“You think this is real, Vanessa? You think you’re doing me, us, a favour by doing this? Well, newsflash! You’re not! And you know why?” Vanessa remained silent, though returned him his glare, as he kept going: “All of this is fake! It doesn’t exist! It’s an imitation of the past! Don’t tell me you actually believe this is real.”

-“You’re lying,” she simply answered, as serious as he was a few moments ago. She was clearly displeased and in denial. She always has been, in the end. This was what had led him to his first death and what would lead to their second one if she continued to remain so stubborn.

-“Oh, I’m lying! I’m always lying, that’s what you think, isn’t it? Well, guess what? I never was! And what I just said? It’s true! Not only everything here is fake, but it’ll be gone in a few days, and so will we! Great way to make things right, Vanessa!”

He clapped his hands sarcastically to emphasize his last sentence. The movement seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back, as Vanessa snapped once again. She came back right before him and grabbed his hands to stop him from clapping again. The contact of her gloves against his skin was awful to Snatcher. Her icy hands were a clear sign of her fury. It was so cold that it hurt.

-“You’re lying, you’re lying, you’re lying!” yelled Vanessa, as her hair was now almost completely black and getting sharper, the same way Snatcher’s spectral form became when he was extremely furious: “How would you know?! I did this, not you!”

Because of the pain on his wrists, Snatcher had to clench his teeth not to whine. He still managed to let out a few words, trying his best not to show himself weaker than he already was:

-“Don’t… Don’t tell me you haven’t seen those white cracks appearing out of nowhere!”

As if the words had a special meaning to Vanessa, she suddenly loosened her grip on his wrists. Her enraged expression changed in a blink, replaced by something akin to realization. Her face grew almost as pale as Snatcher’s and she let go of his hands, still keeping them in the air, shocked.

She had seen them. That was what it meant.

-“Those are not… That’s not what he-” she stuttered, looking elsewhere as an inner fight seemed to be going on in her mind. Snatcher, however, didn’t miss the very important blunder she just made in her attempt to retort something.

She had just said “he”. For the first time in days, he had a concrete clue about the mastermind behind what was happening.

Apparently, she noticed her own mistake and immediately put her hand over her mouth, as if she wanted to silence herself. But it was too late. Snatcher needed to know who that “he” was to her, and also to him.

-“Vanessa. Who’s ‘he’?” he interrogated her, feeling that this was definitely a trail he needed more details on.

The woman simply shook her head silently, refusing to answer him. Though, it really wasn’t enough to stop the shade from wanting to know more. What did stop him, however, was a knock on the door. Both he and Vanessa turned in its direction.

“Well, what a lucky interruption…” thought Snatcher, while glaring at the door. With a quick “come in!”, he allowed the person behind the door to enter the room. Unsurprisingly, Simeon was the one to come in, closing the door behind him. The butler was standing up straight, as usual. In comparison, what was weird was the way Vanessa’s face became paler than it already was. She instantly looked the other way, like a child caught in the act.

“Wait…” Was she reacting this way because of Simeon’s apparition in the room?

Snatcher didn’t have much time to wonder any more on the question, as his inner monologue was cut short by the older man:

-“My apologies, your majesty,” he started, bowing slightly in front of the ex-couple: “I needed to tell you that the doctor is on his way. If you’d like, Prince Alistel, I had someone prepare a bath for you. You must be really tired.”

The man was smiling, but contrary to all the other times the ghost had seen him smile… Something felt wrong. His happiness seemed just as fake as Vanessa’s one a few minutes earlier. Then, there was her reaction to him… It was extremely suspect and Snatcher started to think again about his previous hypothesis. Was the mastermind Simeon? Could it be possible?

But why? It didn’t make any sense! Simeon was dead even before the rift was made! And the hat-wearing child had been very clear: Vanessa couldn’t have been the one to make this time rift. But then… How?

Snatcher didn’t understand, yet… He definitely had the impression that there was something he wasn’t seeing. But it was there, and his ex’s reaction was one of his biggest clues, along with her previous blunder.

Simeon’s stare made the ghost strangely ill-at-ease and, for a reason he couldn’t explain yet, he felt the need to run. But why? Simeon had been the family’s loyal butler! Though, then again, he had been the butler of Vanessa’s family. Not his. And if his hypothesis was right, no matter how far-fetched it was to him… Well, it was best to be extremely careful. Especially if the mastermind was clearly more powerful than the Queen herself.

Snatcher finally nodded and put a fake smile on his lips.

-“Yes, you’re right. I am quite tired,” he declared, moving towards the door. As he passed next to Simeon, he thanked him for the bath. The butler’s smile widened as he replied:

-“Oh, you’re welcome, my Prince. If you need anything else, please tell me, I will do everything in my power to help you.”

-“I will, thank you.”

Snatcher left the room and closed the door behind him. Once he was alone in the hallway, he felt like a huge weight had been removed from his shoulders. He couldn’t tell why exactly, yet he knew that this had to do with what had just happened. Why did he felt this way? Why did Vanessa have reacted so badly? He hated to be in the dark like this, especially knowing that he and the kid had a countdown problem. He didn’t know exactly how much time they had left. The brat had told him “a few days”, but it wasn’t very precise.

Plus, if Vanessa had also witnessed time anomalies… Then, it meant the rift was probably more unstable than what they first thought. They needed to find that Time Piece, fast, and preferably without being caught first.

Instead of leaving to the bathroom like he should have done, he kneeled in front of the door, sticking his ear on the door. If he wanted to be sure about his hypothesis, there weren’t many other possibilities. It’s not like he could ask Vanessa, or even ask Simeon directly! He wasn’t a moron and definitely didn’t have a death wish.

Silence greeted him for a few seconds. At first, he believed that the door was too thick to let sounds go through. However, just as he was about to stand up, he caught up a muffled voice through the wood:

-“You really do not understand, do you?”

Snatcher’s body froze, as he realized that this voice wasn’t Simeon’s nor Vanessa’s. Then who was talking? It was masculine and its intonation had been disapproving. The voice was peculiarly soft and not really deep. In any case, it was a voice the ghost didn’t know. Who was in the room with them? Everything was so much more confusing now!

He frowned and kept listening, trying to find other clues useful to him. Vanessa’s voice was quick to reply to the stranger:

-“I-I’m sorry, I tried to stay calm!” His ex sounded really distressed. The shade never heard her sound like this before and it actually made him feel nervous. If someone was scaring Vanessa, while he did not… Well, this was not good for him and the kid.

Who was that guy?

-“I find it quite weird that you choose to use that excuse again,” retorted the voice, threatening.

Silence ensued and Snatcher remained completely unmoving as he waited for the others to talk again. It didn’t last very long but it truly felt like hours to him.

-“You know,” continued the stranger, “after I decided to help you, I think I made you promise to keep your anger under control. Tell me, do you remember that?”

The spirit could tell very easily from the tone of the voice that it wasn’t really a question.

-“Yes… Yes, I did.”

-“So… May I ask you what you do not understand in that simple request? Because I would gladly explain it to you again.”

The threats were absolutely not hidden anymore now. Damn, that guy truly had threatening potential! In any other situation, Snatcher would have felt something akin to jealousy or admiration, depending on the person speaking, but in the present… He felt as much threatened as Vanessa, perhaps more, since she had powers to defend herself while he did not.

He forced his mind to focus on reality when he heard Vanessa apologize:

-“I’m sorry. I promise I’ll be more careful.”

-“This is exactly what you promised me this morning and yet, you still managed to reveal my existence to him just now. What a shame.”

Snatcher’s eyebrows rose: did that guy just got Vanessa to apologize to him? What was he using, witchcraft? Both in his life and afterlife, Snatcher never managed to get a sincere “I’m sorry” from her! And that stranger got her to say those words just like this? Seriously, who was that guy?

-“Please do not make me regret helping you. We still have much to do for your dream to come true. Do not waste the chance I am offering you.”

-“But…!”

Snatcher stuck his ear to the door even more, extremely curious about what Vanessa was about to say after that kind of threat.

-“He- Alistel told me that this isn’t real. That this world will disappear in a few days…”

-“Oh please, are you believing him more than me?” answered the voice, outraged: “I offered you a way to go back in time, to erase what went wrong, and you would rather believe him? The man who cheated on you? Vanessa, dear, you really are hurting my feelings.” He paused before continuing: “If there is anyone to trust here, it is me. You should know that by now.”

Snatcher was instantly filled with absolute fury at the stranger’s affirmations.

“This guy…!” The spirit had never cheated on Vanessa! She was the one who went crazy and murdered an entire village! How dared he-

The ghost suddenly realized that if he stayed here any longer, he would be found out very soon. The conversation seemed almost over now, and this was his chance to leave before being caught. He did get all the information he needed to prove that Simeon was implied. Though… Did that mean that “Simeon” wasn’t really him? That someone was impersonating him? This was all Snatcher could think of.

He quickly stood up, as silently as possible, and walked away fast until he hid behind a corner. He waited for a bit and, after a few minutes, finally saw Simeon walking out of the room. Vanessa was coming right after him, looking at her own feet. This was really a weird sight to Snatcher. Normally, it would make him laugh, but now… It only meant that whoever was working with Vanessa was much, much more dangerous than her.

“Who are you…?” he wondered to himself, as he stared at the back of “Simeon”, who was walking towards the stairs, followed by Vanessa. Once the ghost was completely alone, he tried to relax his body, which had been tensed for quite a while.

Whoever was that guy… He and the kid would have to be really careful from now on. The sooner they left, the better.

Snatcher frowned and finally looked away from the staircase. Well… Now, he had a bath to take. Maybe it would help him to understand better what was happening in the dark.

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WHO THIS STRANGER MIGHT BE, HUM....

I hoped you liked this chapter ! Please tell me if you did, it really helps me a lot, you have no idea. I work a lot with motivation and I get writing blocks when I become hesitant about my stories. Even comments with a single emoji help, I assure you.

I hope everyone is doing well with everything that is happening around the world right now. Please stay safe, don't take risks. Good luck to everyone, I think we all need it with the sanitary crisis going on.

See you in the next chapter !

And if you want to support me in the meantime, you can watch an ad on Utip. Thank you!

Chapter 13 =>

[isabvllas]

         ♡ . *  (   jennie  kim,  cis  female,  she  /  her   )   have  you  heard   ?   it  seems  like  the  heir  of  the  MUN  dynasty  was  very  close  to  liam  yu  too.  they  go  by  ISABELLA  and  they  were  liam’s  FAMILY  FRIEND.  their  networth  is  of  82M  and  they’re  only  TWENTY-THREE  …  what  a  burden  it  must  be.  i  heard  they  can  be  very  COQUETTISH  and  VIVACIOUS.  but  these  last  few  months,  their  DISINGENUOUS  and  VAIN  personality  has  been  showing  more.  the  media  is  sure  having  a  field  day  with  them   !   i  hope  this  road  trip  with  friends  will  help  them.  did  you  know  that  CHEWING  BUBBLEGUM  AFTER  LUNCH,  WHISPERING  SECRETS  TO  A  LOVER,  CANDY  HEARTS  and  PILLOWS  STAINED  WITH  TEARS  really  show  their  true  persona   ?    maybe  liam  was  the  only  one  who  knew  that  ...   

         hi  everyone,  i’m  so  happy  to  be  here   !!!   my  name  is  diana,  i’m  twenty,  go  by  she  /  her  pronouns,  and  reside  in  the  est  timezone.  some  quick  facts  abt  me:  i’m  a  libra  and  girl  group  stan   !!   below  u  can  read  a  bit  abt  my  muse  isabella  hehe  if  u  like  this  post  i’ll  hit  u  up  for  plots   !!!   my  discord  is   missing blackpink hours#5522  if  u  wanna  message  me  there,  but  if  not,  im’s  work  just  fine  <3

♡ . *    𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔    !

full  name :  isabella  grace  mun

nickname(s)  :  bella,  isa  (  by  liam  only  )

age  :  twenty-three

zodiac  :  libra  sun,  scorpio  moon   (  click  )

sexuality  :  bisexual

alignment  :  chaotic  neutral

pinterest  :  click

♡ . *    𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅    !   (   drug  tw   )

keeping  up  appearances  has  always  been  the  mun  family’s  main  focus.  everything  they  do  is  an  attempt  to  better  their  public  image.  her  parents  marriage  was  merely  another  business  agreement  between  two  powerful  families

her  father’s  side  works  in  finance  and  investments,  while  her  mother’s  side  owns  one  of  the  wealthiest  PR  firms  in  the  world

her  parents  got  married  because  there  was  nothing  the  public  loved  more  than  family.  you  could  get  away  with  almost  anything  with  the  illusion  strong  family  values  under  your  belt.  isabella’s  conception  was  just  part  of  the  arrangement

her  mother  was  not  particularly  maternal.  her  husband  was  a  few  years  to  her  senior,  so  she  was  still  fairly  young  when  she  got  pregnant.  however,  they  had  already  been  married  for  two  years  and  a  baby  was  part  of  the  deal

isabella  was  passed  along  through  a  string  of  nannies.  none  of  them  stuck  around  long  enough  to  give  her  the  emotional  support  she  so  desperately  desired.  she  clung  to  adult  figures  throughout  the  majority  of  her  childhood,  from  boarding  school  teachers  to  private  tutors

as  she  grew  older,  however,  she  began  to  understand  the  way  of  things.  she  barely  spent  any  time  with  her  parents,  but  the  one  thing  she  learned  from  her  father  was  how  to  look  out  for  herself.  no  one  else  was  going  to  do  it  for  her

throughout  secondary  school,  she  perfected  the  art  of  getting  what  she  wants.  she’d  put  on  a  sweet,  helpless  act  to  manipulate  those  around  her.  she  became  fluent  in  lying,  and  it  always  worked  to  her  advantage  that  she  had  a  face  people  could  trust

she  spent  her  teen  years  growing  a  social  media  following,  becoming  a  beauty  influencer.  she  was  seen  as  an  it  girl,  credited  for  starting  various  fashion  trends

without  anyone  looking  after  her,  isabella  was  able  to  do  whatever  she  wanted.  however,  she  also  learned  from  her  parents  the  importance  of  maintaining  a  pristine  image.  so,  she  partied  and  had  her  fun  out  of  the  public  eye,  or  so  she  thought

at  seventeen,  isabella  had  her  first  coke  scandal  after  pictures  of  her  were  leaked  to  the  tabloids.  it  was  like  a  rich  kids  right  of  passage.  her  parents  were  furious  with  her.  for  a  moment,  isabella  felt  hopeful.  they  were  furious  because  they  cared,  right  ?  unfortunately  for  her,  it  wasn’t  because  of  what  she  was  doing.  they  were  only  angry  she  was  stupid  enough  to  get  caught

isabella’s  mother  took  care  of  cleaning  up  her  image.  after  all,  damage  control  is  what  she  knew  how  to  do  best.  isabella  was  forced  to  take  a  break  from  social  media.  according  to  the  statement  her  family  put  out,  she  was  under  a  lot  of  stress  from  running  a  social  media  empire  at  such  a  young  age.  as  per  her  mother’s  instructions,  her  social  media  blackout  lasted  a  year.  by  the  time  she  was  back  in  the  public  eye,  she  had  graduated  high  school  and  was  started  the  next  chapter  of  her  life

however,  the  year  she  took  away  from  social  media  was  the  most  time  she  had  ever  spent  with  her  parents.  she  was  forced  to  stay  with  them  so  they  could  keep  her  from  further  tarnishing  the  perfect  image  they  had  created  for  themselves.  during  this  time,  she  found  out  she  hated  her  parents.  they  were  cold,  and  completely  emotionless

she  felt  alone  most  of  the  time.  her  friends  were  almost  always  fake,  and  so  was  she.  she  was  always  putting  on  a  mask  too,  so  it’d  be  unfair  to  even  judge.  but  the  only  person  she  could  ever  trust  was  herself.  except  liam  was  different

she  knew  liam  her  whole  life  through  familial  connections,  but  she  only  got  closer  to  him  over  recent  years.  he  seemed  to  be  the  only  person  who  could  understand  her.  she  started  to  confide  in  him  with  a  lot  of  things.  he  made  her  feel  less  alone,  a  true  friend.  it  was  unlike  anything  she  had  ever  experienced  before  and  she  wasn’t  used  to  anyone  genuinely  caring.  he  would  let  her  sleepover  whenever  she  was  going  through  something

his  loss  hit  her  hard.  even  though  she  tries  to  appear  like  she’s  grieving  his  loss  healthily,  she  isn’t.  isabella  has  convinced  herself  she’s  cursed,  like  his  loss  was  her  fault  just  because  he  was  associated  to  her.  like  everything  she  touches  falls  apart.  she  kinda  started  using  drugs  again  more  heavily  because  of  everything,  where  before  she  mainly  only  used  in  social  settings

♡ . *    𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚    !

isabella  appears  to  be  an  extrovert  on  the  surface.  even  though  most  of  it  is  an  act,  she  has  a  lively  presence.  she  likes  to  be  the  life  of  the  party  and  the  center  of  attention,  but  when  it  comes  down  to  it,  it’s  just  part  of  the  persona  she  puts  on  for  others

she’s  playfully  flirty  with  almost  everyone.  it  started  as  a  way  to  manipulate  people,  but  she  also  finds  amusement  in  it  now.  to  her,  everything  life  is  a  game  and  she  wants  to  win

she  is  always  trying  to  manipulate  people  for  her  own  selfish  gain,  however,  she’s  extremely  careful  to  be  lowkey  about  it  so  no  one  really  knows.  she  appears  to  be  very  sincere  and  considerate  of  others.  most  people  view  her  as  harmless,  which  is  exactly  what  she  wants.  she  wants  people  to  underestimate  her

isabella  can  be  quite  full  of  herself.  she  obsesses  over  her  appearance  like  24/7  partially  due  to  her  social  media  presence.  she  won’t  leave  the  house  without  looking presentable  because  she  refuses  to  be  spotted  looking  bad

but  aside  from  obsessing  over  her  looks,  she  also  has  a  superiority  complex.  she  thinks  she’s  better  and  smarter  than  most  people,  but  she  doesn’t  show  this  side  of  herself  too  often

she  loves  to  go  out  and  be  in  the  presence  of  strangers.  she  feels  closer  to  them  than  to  the  people  she  actually  knows.  but  it’s  one  of  the  reasons  she  loves  parties  so  much.  asksjhkjsh  like  that  part  in  great  gatsby  where  that  girl  was  like  large  parties  are  much  more  intimate  !!!  that’s  bella 

her  life  is  ultimately  unfulfilling  tho,  because  the  way  she  masquerades  around  pretending  to  be  one  way  just  to  use  people  for  her  own  benefit  has  left  her  completely  alone.  she  seeks  real  friendships  and  relationships  deep  down,  but  she  does  everything  in  her  power  to  bury  this  side  of  herself.  she  also  seeks  validation  but  doesnt  care  enough  about  anyone’s  opinions  to  ever  receive  it

♡ . *    𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅  𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔    !

partner  in  crime  -  someone  who  she  can  scheme  with,  someone  who  will  play  these  little  games  with  her,  someone  she  has  fun  with

ex-lover  -  there  could  b  more  than  one  of  these   !!!    they  could  have  ended  on  bad  terms  or  good  terms,  still  have  lingering  feels  or  tension  maybe  they’re  friends  or  maybe  they  just  try  to  stay  away  from  each  other 

unrequited  crush  -  ur  muse  could  have  a  crush  on  her  and  maybe  she’s  oblivious  or  maybe  she  uses  it  to  her  advantage.  OR  we’d  have  to  plot  this  out  well  but  maybe  she  has  genuine  feelings  for  your  muse  and  doesn’t  know  what  to  do  about  it  because  this  never  really  happens

requited  feelings  -  speaks  for  itself,  but  our  muses  have  feelings  for  each  other.  ik  isabella  would  make  things  complicated  just  because  it  would  be  hard  for  her  to  accept  that  she  actually  cares  about  someone  that  isn’t  herself

will they,  won’t  they  -  there’s  tension  between  them,  but  nothing  has  ever  come  out  of  it  yet.  maybe  something  has  almost  happened,  maybe  they’ve  kissed  once,  but  either  way  the  tension  lingers  in  the  air  whenever  they’re  together

flirtationship  -  they  flirt  with  each  other  constantly,  but  nothing  has  ever  come  from  their  flirting.  maybe  they  have  good  chemistry,  but  haven't  done  anything  about  it  and  maybe  they  don’t  want  to.  maybe  they  don’t  want  to  ruin  a  good  thing 

current fling/friends  w  benefits -  someone  she  is  currently  seeing.  it’s  most  likely  no  strings  attached,  but  maybe  it’s  someone  she  genuinely  cares  about  as  a friend

enemies  w  benefits  -  imagine  the  tension   !!!   they  started  out  hating  each  other  but  ended  up  hooking  up.  maybe  it  was  a  one  time  thing,  or  maybe  they  can’t  stop  going  back  to  each  other.  maybe  they  keep  it  a  secret  and  don’t  want  anyone  else  to  know.  this  could  develop  in  soooo  many  ways  pls  this  is  so  sexy  !!!!

party  buddies  -  they  always  go  to  parties  together.  maybe  they  don’t  see  each  other  outside  of  parties,  maybe  they  met  at  a  party  and  started  hanging  out  more  afterwards

drug  /  alcohol  buddies  -  someone  she  gets  fucked  up  with.  maybe  they’re  not  that  close  when  they’re  sober,  but  are  way  closer  when  under  the  influence

ex-friends  -  someone  she  used  to  consider  a  close  friend,  but  they  had  a  falling  out  for  whatever  reason  n  maybe  they  strongly  dislike  each  other  now,  which  means  isabella  is  probably  trying  to  plot  their  down  fall

sibling-like friendship  -  someone  she  sees  like  a  sibling.  since  she’s  an  only  child,  i’d  love  a  friendship  that  feels  like  family

unlikely  friends  -  a  pair  you  wouldn't  imagine  would  be  friends,  but  for  whatever  reason,  they  get  along  well

cousins  -  they  could  get  along  well,  or  maybe  there’s  family  drama  that  makes  them  hate  each  other

take  care  -  someone  who  looks  after  her  when  she  drinks  to  much   !!!   someone  who  keeps  her  out  of  trouble  when  she’s  under  the  influence.  she  would  probably  feel  extremely  weird  like  when  she’s  sober  bc  someone  taking  care  of  her  ???  feels  fake  2  her

confidant  -  someone  who  confides  in  her  or  someone  she  confides  in,  or  they  confide  in  each  other.  they  don’t  necessarily  have  to  be  the  closest  friends  ever,  but  they  get  along  and  maybe  they  talk  more  in  private

rivals  -  they  don’t  like  each  other  for  whatever  reason,  which  we  can  plot. maybe  it’s  jealousy  or  their  personalities  just  clash,  but  for  whatever  reason  they  do  not  get  along

frenemies  -  they’re  great  friends  to  each  other’s  faces,  but  when  they’re  not  around  each  other,  they  act  questionably

bad  influence  -  someone  she  is  a  bad  influence  on.  maybe  she’s  manipulating  them,  or  just  encourages  them  to  do  bad  things  and  they  listen  to  her  for  whatever  reason

that’s  everything  !!!  i’m  soooo  sorry  this  got  a  lil  lengthy,  it  wasn’t  my  intention  but  also  idk  how  2  shut  up  AJKDSHDJH  anyway  i’m  so  excited  to  plot  with  u  all  and  start  interacting,  so  hit  me  up  on  discord  or  im’s  or  i’ll  come  to  u  <3

[chaewonrk]

STAR BRIGHT CASTING AUDITIONS ‘20 : INTERVIEW !

      word count: 1,587. cw: parental death.

what was it that chaewon kept on saying to yuzu? just fucking do it. she’d be a hypocrite if she didn’t at least go along to this interview thing. chaewon didn’t really allow herself to believe in fate or anything, knowing that she’d only be disappointed if she did, but the stars were aligning pretty well for her. she’d kick herself for not going. or, maybe jie would kick her. she was more than happy to have her roommate with her -- chaewon needed the confidence boost that jie’s aura provided.

it would be very typical of her, however, not to go in the end. she nearly didn’t. standing outside the park hyatt hotel, chaewon took three deep breaths. go in. one, two, three -- and she stepped through the front door, following her roommate through. wow, luxurious. she used to stay in places like this all the time when she traveled with her parents as a kid. it was somehow both familiar and intimidating at the same time.

now that she was in, chaewon had to fill in the form. she was in it for the long haul now, or at least for a couple of hours. it was just an interview at this point, she really only needed to worry if she somehow got a callback. supplying the information they asked of her was easy. it was the same old shit she’d attempted to use for bragging points all her life. a decade of ballet training and drama school -- a decade of effort that went down the drain one drizzly afternoon. her choir days at ewha, a fun year where she made friends that she could’ve gone onto college with but didn’t. 6tunes, soundbox, her youtube channel. only one of those projects was something she was still pursuing. chaewon couldn’t help cringing. what a heap of wasted potential. supplying the information was easy, but looking at it, listed out in front of her, was dead hard.

the family section was harder again. eventually, chaewon decided to only list her grandparents. they didn’t know she was attending today, but she guessed they’d be disappointed to hear it. she could always worm her way back into their good graces by expressing her intent to finally go to college.

once she was done, it was a matter of waiting for her name to be called. chaewon tied her hair back in a low ponytail, and asked jie to check for flyaways.

chaewon entered the interview room with a smile, feeling like she stood out well in her red t-shirt against the white background. she gave the staff member a warm look as she took her place. as nervous as chaewon felt before, she found that the professional studio atmosphere soothed her. the sound and camera tests went off without a hitch, and before she knew it, the interviewer gave her the nod to introduce herself.

“hello!” she bowed her head for the camera, then lifted her chin to face the lens with a self assured smile. as per usual, chaewon felt better able to be herself in front of the camera. sometimes, especially recently, when she was playing her guitar, she got a bit too far into her own head, but this was a more comfortable situation. she supposed it could be that playing music close to her heart was a little too vulnerable for chaewon to fully feel confident in herself when she did it. “my name is park chaewon! i’m twenty-one. i’m currently working as a make up artist. i’m living here in seoul, but i was raised in london, england.”

“okay. chaewon, tell me, why did you come here today? why do you want to be an idol?”

chaewon clasped her hands together in front of her as she said, “performing is my first love. i trained in ballet and theatre in london for ten years before moving to seoul, but since then, unfortunately, it’s had to take a backseat in my list of priorities. i’ve worked hard on it on the side over the years, but ... is it okay to say? it sounds a little selfish, but i’m ready now and i really want to prove that i can do it.”

the truth sounded so pretty when she phrased it the right way.

“a ballerina? so it’s safe to assume that dance is your best skill. tell me about your weaknesses.” chaewon appreciated the cool but still seemingly interested vibe that the interviewer gave off as she asked her questions.

“yes! yes, dance is the skill i’m most confident in. besides my experience in ballet, i’ve also got experience in other styles. i attend hip hop and freestyle classes here in seoul, and briefly taught a class of my own too.” chaewon beamed proudly, hoping that her smile somewhat managed to reach her eyes. “my weakest skill ... i don’t rap, but then again, i’ve never tried.” simple as. truthfully, there were a lot of things she was definitely, sincerely bad at, like cooking and budgeting and keeping track of her drinks, but none of them were really relevant to her potential skill set as an idol.

“is there a reason you didn’t choose to pursue ballet in seoul?”

a surprisingly cutting question -- one chaewon hadn’t rehearsed for. though, she supposed she shouldn’t be too surprised. taken aback for a moment, all she could do was nod as she gathered her thoughts. with damp eyes, chaewon resigned herself to telling an abridged version of the truth.

“yes, actually. my parents passed away when i was fifteen. that was the reason i moved to seoul, so that my grandparents could take care of me. for the first year or so, doing things that reminded me of my life with them back in london was too painful, so i avoided them until i was ready. since then, i’ve been ... slowly dipping my toes back in.”

“i see.” the interviewer paused, searching chaewon’s face for any sign that they should stop the process. chaewon merely blinked back her tears and continued speaking.

“that’s what i meant by i’m ready now. it’s been many years now, and i’m finally confident enough to try and pursue my dreams. i want to prove it to myself, but,” she nodded to herself, eyes gleaming determinedly for a moment. any hints of tears were wholly gone now, replaced by chaewon’s regular confidence. “i also want to try to do it for my parents. they believed in me.”

at least, she liked to believe that they did. they probably didn’t. after all, she’d been such a brat. but, it was a nice thought. chaewon figured that regardless what she ended up doing with her life, she’d probably end up imagining some proud parental response for herself.

“you’ve had to overcome a big obstacle early on,” the interviewer started to steer the interview away from the melancholy. “that takes tenacity. are you willing to improve yourself in the areas you lack?”

“of course. i received vocal lessons as part of my drama training, and nowadays, i’m really interested in improving my singing. i play my guitar and sing with it, and upload covers and things to my youtube channel. i’m always looking to see where i can improve and change. it’s the key to growth.” yeah, like when she let jinsoul bleach her hair. change was good. “i attended singing and vocal care workshops in the samsung speakup event a couple of weeks ago too. i sang in the choir in high school, and i sang back up in a band i was apart of, but i don’t have a massive amount of confidence in my group singing skills.”

“lovely. now, chaewon, what influences you? musically, as a performer, as a person, and so forth.”

what did she write on the form again?

“oh.” she tapped her chin thoughtfully. she didn’t want to come across as too much of a fangirl or too shallow or too up herself or too ... anything. “for idol groups, i’m a big fan of luxe and and*roma. i really like taylor swift too. i originally picked up guitar because i thought she made it look cool. i guess you could say i’m influenced by powerful women! it’s really important to me that i don’t have to sacrifice my femininity to be taken seriously. the class i taught was called high in heels -- i think that sums up my influences pretty well.”

“okay. we’re onto the final question now, chaewon. if you weren’t trying to be an idol, what would you be doing right now?”

shopping? sleeping? gossiping? “still working hard. if i wasn’t trying to be an idol, i’d still want to do my best as a make up artist, and as a hobbyist. no matter what, i still love to perform. it would just be ideal if i could do it as a job.” she punctuated her sentence with a content smile and nod.

“thank you, chaewon. we’ll be in contact.”

or we won’t. yeah, chaewon knew the drill. thanking the staff, she quickly made her exit. as soon as the door shut behind her, the adrenaline that was brewing within her shot through the crown of her skull and she half walked, half jogged her way back to the hotel lobby, en route for another period of waiting for jie to have her turn in the audition room. she didn’t know how she was going to be able to sit still.

[holidaywishes]

Baby Boy

  Summary: You find out you’re pregnant and you don’t know how to tell Auston

  Warnings: Swearing? Angst, talk of abortion

  Author’s Note: I honestly have no idea where this came from. Probably, after rewatching Auston and Freddie in that Bauer Hockey video playing with Nerf Guns from before Christmas. My guess is there’s probably going to be another one with Freddie up soon -- same summary, different result… Hope you enjoy it anyway!

  P.S. (Y/E/C) is your eye colour just in case you get confused

  P.P.S. apparently I’m into making series now… This one may be a series but I’m not sure yet. HMU -- let me know 😉

 “Shit” you let slip from your lips as you looked down at the small screen in front of you

  “pregnant” it read and you furiously tried to shake it away as if it were an etch-a-sketch image. You stood in your bathroom for about 10 minutes before wandering over to your couch to crash your head into the cushions. This is not what you wanted. You were 26 years old and were in no way prepared to raise a child and your boyfriend was practically a child himself. God this was a disaster! How could you let this happen? You muffle a scream in one of the couch pillows when your phone rings and you reluctantly look to see who it is -- hoping it’s not Auston.

  “Hey Tammy,” you answered the call, a sigh of relief when you saw it was your best friend and not your boyfriend, “what’s up?”

  “Tried calling you a bunch but you never answered. Everything okay?”

  “No…” you sighed, “I need your help.”

  “Uh oh… what’s wrong?”

  “I was late.. so I freaked out a little. Took a test, you know, as one does. Fuck, Tam I’m pregnant…”

  “Congratulations?”

  “Absolutely not!”

  “Well I don’t know. I mean you don’t sound happy but I didn’t want to overstep or anything…”

  “I can’t have a kid. Not with Auston. Not Now. What do I do?”

  “Does he know?”

  “No..”

  “Okay well that’s step 1”

  “WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO HIM?”

  “Tell him the truth?” she asked, clearly confused at your question

  “Oh. Yeah. Sure. Of course. ‘Hey babe, guess what? I’m pregnant. You’re gonna be a dad at 21 YEARS OLD!”

  “Don’t say it like that obviously,” she joked, “maybe he’ll be okay with it?”

  “Tammy, he’s 21... If I was him, I’d run away so fast, you’d see that smoke coming off my heels like Wile E Coyote or Roadrunner. He’s not going to be okay with it.”

  “Well what do you want me to say?”

  “I need you to take me to a clinic”

  “No”

  “Excuse me?”

  “No. I’m not taking you to get an abortion. I’m not doing it. Not until you talk to the father of your baby! I can’t allow that…”

  “Tammy!”

  “NO (Y/N)! You know how I feel about that. I can’t, I won’t”

  “You’re my best friend. I’m not going to make you stay. I’ll call for a ride from someone else but I thought maybe you’d want to su--”

  “Don’t! I am your best friend and you’re mine. Of course. I love you and I don’t want you to go through anything traumatic. But we’ve talked about abortions before. You know I’m pro-life.”

  “This isn’t about pro-life or pro-choice right now. It’s not a political debate. It’s about your best friend who is terrified about losing everything because of an unwanted pregnancy. I never thought I’d ever be in this position and I never thought that I’d ever get an abortion but it needs to be done this time…”

  “How dare you!”

  “Tammy, please.”

  “Talk to your boyfriend (Y/N)” you heard the line go blank and you stared at your phone in disbelief. Yes, you knew how she felt about this but you thought, as your best friend, she would support you and put aside her political views for a second. You wanted to cry and scream and destroy your apartment but you also just wanted to apologize to your best friend and tell her you were just scared. Because you were. You picked up your phone to dial her back when Auston texted you.

  “What happened?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Tammy called me. Told me you two got into a fight and that you needed to tell me something…”

  “She shouldn’t have done that”

  “(Y/N) what’s wrong? What happened?”

  “I love you, we’ll talk about it when you get here.”

  You and Auston had only been dating a year. You met him two months before his 21st birthday and three months after your 25th. You weren’t expecting it to go anywhere because of the age gap but here you were, a year later with a new set of problems. You had no idea what Auston would say and, as nice as they were, you knew his parents were going to blame you for this. You were stressing about what would happen when he came home, how he would react, what he would say; maybe he’d go with you? God, no that’s not what you want! You just wanted not to have to deal with the situation anymore. Two hours later, you found yourself researching clinic’s in the area to see what you had to do when Auston walked in the door

  “(Y/N)?” he called out and you slammed your laptop closed so he wouldn’t see, “where are you?”

  “Hey..” you crept out from behind the corner, nervous about getting too close but he brought you in for a hug

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, keeping you close to his body, “why are you fighting with your best friend?”

  “We had a disagreement. We couldn’t see eye to eye on it…” you tried to evade his question but he persisted

  “What was the disagreement?”

  “It’s just something I believe in, she doesn’t. That’s all. She got sensitive about it” you turned your body away from Auston and squeezed your eyes shut at your response

  “Baby, just tell me…” you almost cringed at the nickname as you kept your secret hidden while trying to come up with a story to tell him

  “We have a friend. She’s pregnant. She asked our opinions on what she should do. I said she should weigh her options, but consider terminating the pregnancy,” you stopped to gauge his reaction but he was stone faced as you spoke, trying to take in all the information, “Tammy said that abortion wasn’t an option and that it wasn’t just up to her. That our friend should tell the father…”

  “You don’t agree with that? That your friend should tell the father that she’s pregnant with his child?”

  “Of course I do, that wasn’t the argument…”

  “You think she should have an abortion and Tammy doesn’t?”

  “Right”

  “Why do you think she should have an abortion? Is the father abusive? Is she or the baby unsafe?”

  “No… Auston there’s more reasons than that for someone to terminate a pregnancy. She’s not ready. That kid would be a huge pill to swallow; a huge responsibility she’s not ready for. And neither is the father”

  “That’s it? She’s not ready for a kid so she should just get an abortion?” his face contorted into anger from confusion and you stepped back, realizing you had gotten your answer and you needed to tell him the truth, “she’ll get ready. They both will. Maybe the timing sucks but in the end, they’ll be so happy and so --”

  “Auston, Auston, honey…” you shook your head and told him to sit on the couch, “we don’t have -- I mean we -- It’s me…”

  “What’s you?” you looked at him, trying desperately to get him to find the answer in your face but, when he didn’t, you looked down at your lap and took his hand in yours

  “I’m pregnant…” he was silent and still, so much so that you had to peel your eyes from his hands to his face, where you saw his jaw clench and unclench a few times, “Auston?”

  “You want an abortion?” he choked out, trying not to look at you, making your heart break

  “The timing isn’t right. We’re too young. You’re 21. I’m 26. We’ve got our own lives that are constantly on the move right now. You with hockey. Me with this new start up. A pregnancy would just complicate things…” he still wasn’t looking at you, so you got to pace around the room, “We’ve only been together a year. We don’t even live together. This is just a mistake that can be fixed. I can fix this.”

  “Stop.” he said quietly but firmly and you waited silently until he spoke again, “It doesn’t need to be fixed, it’s not a broken T.V. or a busted pipe. It’s a baby” his voice was soft and sincere which scared you because you didn’t know if that meant he wanted a baby or he was just going to be okay with having one now.

  “Auston, sweetie, I love you. But I can’t have a baby. This is not me saying that you won’t be a good father or that I never want kids. But we both have to think about our careers. And I have to be selfish about this. Because you won’t be here…” you let the sentence hang in the air to let him swallow it for a second, “with your career the way it is, you will be so busy that I’ll have to leave work to become a full time Mom. I respect those women who do that but it’s not me, not at 26. I’m sorry…”

  “You were going to do it and just not tell me weren’t you?” he stood up and walked to where you were, anger on his face

  “I don’t know...”

  “You don’t know?!”

  “I thought if I did it, and you didn’t know, then there would be no harm. It’s my body and my choice right? So I wouldn’t need to bother you with the stress that comes with finding out your girlfriend is pregnant”

  “Bother me?” he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “(Y/N) what kind of person do you think I am?”

  “What?”

  “Do you think I’m gonna be the guy that tells you he’ll help you take care of it by giving you money for the procedure? Am I the guy who doesn’t care enough about you to sit down and have a conversation about whether or not you’re ready to start a family? Have I done something to make you believe that I have more say than you about what decisions you make?”

  “No bu--”

  “Yes, I’m 21. Yes, you’re 26. We’re young. We’re busy. This wasn’t planned but are pregnancies ever really planned? I would never leave you to drop everything and take care of our child and I’m not going to pay you to get rid of it either. I love you, we’ll figure this out together.” You didn’t know what to say. You couldn’t say you were shocked by this reaction but you didn’t know where to go from here.

  “I have to lie down” you walked to your bedroom, shaken by the whole conversation, thinking Auston would give you space but you heard his heavy footsteps come down the hallway shortly after you slipped under the covers; his large arms wrapped around you as soon as he laid down behind you, kissing your shoulder softly

  “I’m sorry if I upset you. I didn’t mean to yell” he whispered. God, he was so gentle with you, you knew he would be with your child too; you brought your hands to his, drawing circles on his skin before finally speaking

  “I’m scared, Auston…” you felt a single tear fall from your eye and Auston kissed your cheek when he noticed, “I can barely take care of myself. How am I supposed to take care of a baby?”

  “You have me. That’s how…” you turned your body enough that your eyes met his and smiled, “we’ll take it one step at a time. My family loves babies, they can help. You’re family… they might?”

  “Yeah.. right” you lifted your eyebrows and rolled your eyes. You hadn’t really talked to your parents since your Graduation and this was not the icebreaker you wanted.

  “It’s okay. We’ve got each other. And a huge family on the ice. We’ll be okay,” he smiled but it quickly faded as he continued, “but only if you’re sure…”

  “I could get used to the idea of having a little one running around, a baby boy who looks just like his Papì” you laughed and he kissed your forehead

  “I think I want a baby girl with the beautiful (Y/E/C) eyes like her mother” he pulled you closer to him, kissing your shoulder again and you started to drift asleep before his next words jolted you back, “or we could have one of each…”

  “Slow down, Matthews. One is fine for now…” he laughed and agreed, whispering a small I love you before you drifted off to sleep.