#But she feels even more pain still thinking about Death when she's with Sarang

[uroborosymphony]

   Huntress,

   2024, February 14th. Unsent letter to Sarang.

I walked by the edge of the mortal and immortal realms. Quests, obsessions, delusions, that, for as long as my endless days have been haunting me, have known no salvation, no redemption. To perish. All I ever wished for was to be buried to the ground. For the grand, violent, merciless death of Thanathos and Moros to turn me into ashes. It all changed, when you found me again.

The sound of your arrows rattling against the cold of my blade echoes in the core of the night, a vibration in the crystal of my bones, the awakening of a passion that burnt inside me through the centuries. Do I renounce, surrender to what I have been chasing for 600 years : the wish to never feel alive. You make me feel alive. Alive, when the black blood of my iron veins tremble to the sound of your velvet voice, to the warmth of your core, to the darkness of your eye. I do not wish to break your heart, Adored, yet I am aware these irrational desires of mine, the prayers for my own end - I aware of the doubts and the trouble is rises within you. They follows us, the shadows of my own madnesses, they're running aft'er Us. I myself broke my own heart, Beloved, realizing I never learned how to live outside of the idea that death would be better than any of this.

I am scared. I must admit. Scared to accept this immortality and acknowledge that I became this monstrosity my own blood made of me. Have my crusade been in vain? Have the lives I took, the generations of underworld creatures I exterminated... was all this loss in vain? I tainted the colors of my soul, sold it to the depths of hell, for a mortality that will never be mine? I attempted to grieve, for many years, to grieve this dream of lying still, lifeless. And then I see you, and this pain I have been holding onto, it vanishes. How selfish can I remain, if I deny this second chance the Olympians have given me, the chance of sharing the rest of this immortality with You.

Will you keep me in your soul?

Along with the rivers of guts and blood that have washed over my martial hands and my serpentine coils?

Will you hold my wrath in the palms of your tender hands? Will you treat oh so gently the madness that poison my viscera?

I was a coward, running away after the Grand War in the 18th century. I was a coward, disappearing from your sight after our truce in the 19th century, I was a coward, escaping after reuniting with you in San Francisco in the 20th century. A coward : I do not wish to be one any longer. In the nights I must suffer from your absence, I remember the tips of your fingers against the timidity of my neck and I pray, to my Mother Hecate, to forgive me and I beg, for all my punishments to crease, and I beg, for You.

Will you spend another eternity with me?

⠀⠀⠀⠀An unsent letter to @mythvoiced. From Calista.

[joontier]

The King’s Guard | the minis ii. 

pairings: kim seokjin x reader ; jeon jungkook x reader ; min yoongi x reader

rating: R (18+) | genre: established relationship! au, historical! au smut, fluff 

warnings: explicit sex; (dunno what this kink is called) but jinnie likes being called the king by the lohs; kink discoveries; oral (m receiving); dom-sub undertones

word count: 4.9k 

g/n: and because it’s seokjinnie missing hours~~~ Okta is also based off Okta in Hwarang and YES AHRO MAKES AN APPEARANCE WOOTTT also,,, chapter 6 might also come out real soon aCIfjoasdfj

The King’s Guard - Masterlist  ||  navi.

It’s been a while since Seokjin had retired to your shared room after a long day. He’d initially considered waiting for you while he changed into his sleeping garments but after some time and eventually managing to finish a scroll he’d taken from his office, Seokjin gets up from where he’s seated by the window and asks for Yunho. 

A different voice answers from outside, “Jeonha, the guard you are looking for is not with us right now.” Seokjin tries to push away the worry that’s starting to creep through him. The king chooses not to reply, quickly heading over to the dresser to put back on the clothes he was wearing earlier. 

You’d never stayed out this late before and as much as he hated to admit it, the capitol isn’t always the safest place, even for its own citizens. There were rumors of an uprising rebellion in the south and the thought of you in danger - he couldn’t risk it. He won’t risk it. 

The king asks for Chaeyoung, who was told to be by the palace kitchens. He flees out of the hanok as soon as he gets dressed, taking his sword with him. Just in case. With haste in his steps, Seokjin arrives at the kitchen in no time, asking the cooks if they happened to see you anywhere in the palace. 

He receives no response concerning your current whereabouts from the gungnyeo’s quarters either, so he gestures to the guards to follow him, the group walking briskly towards the stables. When Seokjin discovers Yunho’s horse is likewise missing, worry grows in his chest, already praying to the heavens that nothing bad has happened to you. 

Gesturing for the troop to hurry, he arranges the saddle on his horse by himself. “Jeonha!” Seokjin breathes a sigh of relief as he hears Yunho’s voice calling him from a distance. He pulls on the reins, directing the horse to turn around. The king, however, doesn’t see you with Yunho, nor does he sense any security in the guard’s worried expression. 

“_________?” The guard bows briefly, before opening his mouth to speak. Realizing his current predicament does not need to reach the ears of the other guards, Yunho manages just in time to stop himself from speaking out loud. 

“My King,” Yunho speaks, voice low as he guides his horse nearer to Seokjin’s. “Jungjeon-mama is uh…” the guard racks his brain for a better word to explain your present condition but attains nothing. Instead, he settles on the plain truth, despite how strange it sounds rolling off his tongue, “the queen is...um… she’s drunk, your grace.” 

It takes Seokjin a moment to process Yunho’s words - the possible image of your drunken state too much for your husband to even picture properly. Seokjin worries for your safety - knowing that you’d never had any proper alcohol in your life. The king quietly prays to his ancestors to watch over you for the meantime while he  recollects himself before anyone notices, not wanting to cause any more worry. 

When Seokjin deems everyone ready, Yunho suggests the troop to prepare a palanquin after having seen your state - clearly far too intoxicated to even sit upright on a horse. Yunho escorts the king to the establishment where Haesoo had called for his help. 

Much to yours and Seokjin’s luck there aren't many people on the streets, given it was already deep into the night - which only got Seokjin worried and wondering; what could possibly be the reason for you to visit such a place? And at such a late hour? 

Were you unhappy with your marriage? Was he lacking as a husband? As a king perhaps? A million questions are running through his head - unable to think straight as his horse gallops along the dirt road. 

 “Lady Ahro! Why do I feel like my husband is here?” you giggle, leaning nearly all of your weight on the poor lady. Ahro has been watching over you since she called for Haesoo’s attention who then called for Yunho, and now the same guard had paid her for such a task. Watching over royals was never in her line of duties, especially those whose drunken selves are a pain to attend to, but the lady was willing to do anything as long as she’d get paid. 

 When someone came to inform her earlier this afternoon of the soon arrival of an elite client, she was banking on one of her regulars paying her a visit, but she never expected the nation’s queen to visit such a place like Okta. 

 The establishment was built by and for the elites, yes, but it catered to a more generally younger and more… for lack of a better word, carefree audience. People usually came to Okta for two things: to meet new people of the same societal ranking and to have fun, occasionally, a little too much fun in privacy of the rooms it provided. 

 It was awkward, at first, unsure how to approach each other. You take a deep breath and speak first, and you can sense her gratitude in the small smile playing in the corner of her lips. “I need your advice,” you start off, voice barely above a whisper. 

The lady in front of you lightly raises an eyebrow at your request. “I believe you have to be more specific with your request, my queen. It is my belief that I am knowledgeable on most things - but I am not sure which field in particular you wish for me to share my insights.” 

You gulp, completely frozen in place. Chewing on your bottom lip, you consider rethinking your life decisions. Why were you here? What actually got you here in the first place? Ah yes, to learn more about what goes on behind the doors of a married couple, or, if you were being completely honest with yourself, you wanted to know more about the pleasures of the flesh. 

Confessedly, you and Seokjin were relatively a young married couple, you were together for quite a few years already, but you only had the chance to stay in the privacy of your shared room only after your marriage. Other than that, the only displays of affection you had with Seokjin never really went past kissing, or that one time he accidentally groped your chest when you almost fell out of balance while on a horse… if that even was to be considered under that category… 

And it wasn’t that the both of you hadn’t been on that certain level of intimacy yet, but during those times - you felt like you could have actually contributed more. If you were being completely honest, you had mixed feelings about the whole matter - even questioning the fact that you are even concerned about this in the first place. 

Due to the hushed rumors circling the noble class of the city, you’ve had the chance to eavesdrop about this particular establishment which allowed the citizens to enjoy art and music in a more...unconventional manner. 

Okta was a crossover between an inn and a canteen but people apparently spent more time consuming alcohol while enjoying each others’ company (whichever came first) in the common and private areas inside the place. 

You’d even heard of a lady who told tales of all genres, including erotica, in exchange for a few silver coins. The price was reasonable and with your curiosity and your married-woman-insecurities out on your sleeve, you thought Okta was perhaps the place where you’d finally discover the answers to your unspoken queries. 

So you had secretly scheduled a meeting with the infamous “Ahro” and the only other person who knew of this rendezvous was Haesoo, who swore on her ancestors that she wouldn’t tell a soul of your whereabouts, unless it would be of a life and death situation. 

Your intoxicated state was apparently considered one. 

You had most definitely not intended to actually consume alcohol but considering the fact that Lady Ahro’s stories ultimately had the small hairs on your nape stand on end, not to mention those tips she occasionally throws in for you to use, (tonight too, just as she had advised!), you figured you might as well have a little wine running through your veins to boost your lack of courage. 

How you got to this point however - practically clinging onto Ahro for dear life as you giggle uncontrollably - was beyond you. Both your mind and vision have become hazy as the hours pass and you’re barely aware of what’s going on in your surroundings. 

She hears rustling from outside the room where you spent talking for hours on end, and she wonders if her temporary guardian duties will finally end. At least the handsome guard had already given her more than three weeks worth of her wages. 

The king pokes his head in, eyes scanning the room. He finds you practically draped over Ahro who looks like she’d had to deal with you since time immemorial. Apologizing in your stead, he requests Ahro to leave the two of you for a moment. 

It takes the pair quite some effort to pry you off the lady. Seokjin offers another bag of silver in exchange for her silence and Ahro almost considers not taking the payment to preserve her dignity, but quickly remembers she didn’t have much of it in the first place so with a wave and a gentle reminder to Seokjin to never leave you alone again in the establishment, Ahro takes her money and scurries off. 

“Sarang, it’s time to go.” Seokjin tugs at your hand to pull you up but you decline, looking away as you put on your best cutesy angry face. He just chuckles at you, gasping in surprise as you tug him downwards, ultimately landing on the spot next to yours. “I still want to play.” 

Feeling Seokjin’s chest vibrate with laughter, you pout at him. Since when did Seokjin have such a wonderful neck? It seems like this is the first time you’ve seen his bare neck in years - his throat and whatever is that lump that’s sticking out from his throat is suddenly so...attractive? 

In fact, you’ve found it insanely attractive that you’re unable to stop yourself from placing a wet kiss on his neck, just below his jawline. His breath hitches and the action only spurs you further, peppering his throat lingering kisses, working your way down to his collarbone. 

Seokjin exhales shakily as he gently tries to pry you off him. “_______, dearest. Not here jagiya. We need to get you home.” 

“Can we play then? When we get home?” 

He’s never seen you reply like this before and your husband is tempted to ask who you were and what could you have possibly done to his wife, but judging by your current state, he deems it’s not going to end well if he does. Instead, Seokjin just nods at you in reply. 

He’s surprised when that actually gets you on your feet. Wincing at the sudden headache that booms through your temple, Seokjin holds you steady as you stumble in your stance. As the pain subsides enough to be tolerable, you shake yourself off of Seokjin’s grasp, skipping giddily out of the room. 

Finding difficulty bearing with your drunken mood swings, your husband lets his head flop forward in exasperation as he rubs his face with his palms. Realizing he has yet to watch you in case your inability to walk in a straight line might strike again, Seokjin quickly runs after you. 

Just as he had thought, you fall midway to the back door, landing on your knees. Your husband rushes to you, asking if you felt any sort of pain. The boisterous laugh that escapes your lips answers his question efficiently. 

Because of the sudden sound, Seokjin sees some of the people from the common area are trying to peek through the slits between the wooden panels covering the hallways, wondering where that sound came from. With graceful haste, Seokjin scoops you up from the floor and walks briskly towards the end of the hallway where Yunho and the rest of the group were waiting with a palanquin. 

Your husband ushers you into the litter but your unusually stubborn self continues to cling onto the silken fabric of his jeogori so Seokjin had no other choice but to climb in as well - the palanquin, thankfully, spacious enough to fit two passengers. 

Latching onto his arm the moment you’ve settled in your seat, Seokjin wonders slightly if you’ll have any recollection of this once you’ve become sober tomorrow. The king heaves a sigh, finally getting the chance to feel that certain level of relief now that you were quiet and beside him at last. 

Seokjin might have spoken too soon. 

Next thing he knew, you were snuggling into his chest, fingers dancing lazily along his thigh while you’re at it. Your husband didn’t find it suspicious at first, but when he feels your digits trail dangerously up north, Seokjin gently pushes your hand away keeping them secure under his grasp as he places them on your lap. 

Desperation can’t seem to stop anybody though. Even with your hands cuffed beneath Seokjin’s huge palms, you manage to latch your lips on his neck one more time, sucking on the sensitive spot along the creamy expanse of his throat. 

The sound that reverberates throughout Seokjin’s body is something you’ve never heard of before - the almost animalistic sound canonically shooting a jolt of pleasure straight to your core.

You continue your ministrations until Seokjin gets a hold of himself after an embarrassing amount of time, pulling away from you with a stern look on his face. He calls you by your full name, scolding you slightly of a behavior unbecoming of a queen, reminding you that you both weren’t in the confines of your room and any occurrence of a scandalous event is unaffordable by the royal family. You cower slightly in your seat, not expecting your very own husband to use his authoritative king voice on you. 

But just like the interesting turn of events in a short time span tonight, the alcohol coursing through your veins seem to have a mind of its own. 

Instead of letting your husband hinder you from your intentions, you take advantage of Seokjin’s loosened grip on your hands, climbing onto his lap swiftly and gracefully, that the palanquin manages to not move much so as not to raise any suspicion from outside. 

“Have I been a very bad queen, Seokjinnie?” Your hand purposely brushes through his crotch before trailing upward to cup his jaw. Seokjin staggers at the teasing tone of your voice, thoughts drifting off to whatever they made you drink inside that made you a completely different person.  He badly needs to get a hold of those too. 

Pushing yourself further into his lap, so close that he feels your breath fanning against his nose. “Jeonha,” you whisper salaciously, nipping at the shell of his ear, “Aren’t bad queens going to get punished?” Seokjin remains silent as he stares at you with an intense gaze, lust clouding over his dark orbs. 

“Hmm?” you tap his chin once, feeling the faint stubble of a promising beard. Your husband’s face remains stoic even with your provocative efforts, so you decide to take it up a notch, inspired and fueled by one of Ahro’s stories earlier. 

Your hand travels under your skirt, lifting it just a little to reveal that tiny sliver of skin to your husband and as you raise yourself a tiny amount from his lap, you swiftly untie the cloth covering your most private of parts, throwing them aside somewhere else inside the palanquin. 

“I am most willing to take any punishment, jeonha...” you whisper as you grind your core on his crotch. Even with your thick skirt hindering you from experiencing the intense pleasure from grinding on his clothed cock, there’s still that faint feeling of his erection as you grind even heavier. “Twofold,” you state, gyrating your hips to match your counting. “Threefold…” another one. You see the lump on Seokjin’s throat bob up and down as he gulps. “Fourfold.” 

“Don’t worry, my queen. I’ll be sure to punish you accordingly,” comes Seokjin's equally strained reply, not taking his eyes off you as he thrusts upwards. 

Seokjin returns you back to your seat beside him effortlessly, not a word spoken. Well, it’s not as if it’s needed. The tension inside in the now-seemingly cramped space is enough for you to perceive what might happen in the next few moments. As if in sync with your thoughts, Seokjin reminds, “Stay still in your seat, unless you want more punishment later.” 

You manage to stay still in your seat, despite your thoughts completely haywire. Maybe you wanted more punishment? Or are you already asking for too much? Was he really going to punish you? 

Not before long, the palanquin halts, indicating your arrival at the palace. Seokjin spares you a look, heart melting at the sight of you already asleep, snoring slightly in your sleep. 

He chuckles at your slumbering form, climbing out of the palanquin first before asking Yunho to assist him as he clambers to get you out of the litter. Seokjin then proceeds to carry you in his arms and up the stairs to your hanok. 

Laying you gently on the bed, Seokjin undresses you layer after layer, knowing how uncomfortable it will be for you if you continue sleeping in the multiple layers of clothing you have on. Your husband delicately tears off your jeogori first, then laughs to himself as he turns you to the side to untie the knot on your skirt, remembering your alcohol-induced bravado earlier. The young king makes a mental note to ask someone tomorrow to get a sample of whatever they had given you prior...for research purposes. 

He takes the bowl of water he’s kept by the fire to maintain its temperature, pulls out a small washcloth from your dresser and dips the same into the bowl. Seokjin drags the white fabric along the expanse of your skin not covered by your undergarments. When he deems you freshened enough, he pulls on the ribbon holding half of your hair up in a ponytail. 

Fishing your favorite brush from a nearby drawer, a satisfied smile plays on the corner of Seokjin’s lips, running the brush along your hair fanned out on the pillows. Though he loves you for who you truly are, one physical attribute of yours that appeals to him most is your hair - he can’t quite put a finger on it, but there’s something about your hair that he finds so feminine, something he finds strangely, but insanely attractive - much more than he can ever admit out loud. 

Propping an elbow for something to lean on, he finds brushing your hair particularly soothing and therapeutic, enough to even lull him to a deep sleep, one hand on the brush and the other holding your hand. 

A raging headache and a parched throat wake you from your peaceful sleep, squinting as your eyes adjust to take in your surroundings. You try to recollect what happened last night, vague splashes of last night’s events splayed across your thoughts. 

A royal robe covering haphazardly draped over someone’s legs discontinues your momentary reminiscence. Twisting your torso to the side, you see your husband, mouth slightly open as he snores away happily in his sleep. He must’ve taken off your outer clothes last night and — you rack your brain thinking hard if you had done something unintelligible and embarrassing. 

Your brazen advances last night finally dawn on you, face cringing as you remember bits and pieces of how you were the night before. ‘It must have been a nightmare for Seokjin,’ you think to yourself, already conjuring up a lame apology for your inexcusable behavior. 

Pushing your robe away from Seokjin’s legs, you take notice of the erection hidden beneath the confines of his pants. You make an attempt to not stare at it perversely but it was standing tall and proud like that, and oh - your eyes widen as you see it twitch, as if demanding all of your attention.

Wasn’t this a common occurrence in the morning? You might have felt it a few times during your rising when Seokjin spooned you in his sleep, but your timidity can’t seem to address the concern to your own husband. 

Looking away, you shift in your position to share your blanket with your husband. Seokjin unexpectedly wakes up at the action though, giving you a small fright. “Sarang, you’re awake already? Seokjin is talking slower than usual, voice still groggy from sleep. 

You nod at him with a shy smile, embarrassed at the fact that you almost got caught eyeing that thing between his legs. “Are you alright? Dizzy, perhaps?” 

“Just a little, but I’ll be okay. Thank you for taking care of me last night,” you place a kiss on his cheek as Seokjin hums delightedly. “You must have taken quite the beating last night.” Fiddling with your fingers as you apologize for your behavior last night, Seokjin grabs at your hands and takes them between his. 

“It’s fine, sarang. Actually, it was quite...amusing, if I do say so myself,” your husband comments, winking at you. Seokjin sits up, resting his back against the wooden board and beckoning you nearer to him. 

As you scoot closer, you snuggle into Seokjin’s chest. Your husband places a kiss on your temple, before playing with your hair, just silently carding his fingers through them. “Do you mind telling me what actually happened last night - the things I said, perhaps? I can’t really recall them properly…” 

“Truthfully I was worried when I didn’t see you here yesterday. It was already late when I returned from the office and I don’t really want to be that type of husband that locks you inside the palace but I became really anxious when you still hadn’t returned.” 

“I’m sorry I made you worry,” you frown, mentally noting to inform Seokjin of your whereabouts before leaving the palace. 

“It’s alright, really. Anyways, I found you practically attached to Ahro, was it? And then we went home. Now we’re here.” 

“That’s it?” With the evident Seokjin’s haste in his recollection, you’re starting to get suspicious about how the previous night could have ended that quickly - that...uneventful. 

“Nothing else happened? Like I didn’t do or say anything? Am I a quiet drunk?” Your husband looks overwhelmed with all your questions, gulping before he responds. 

“You kind of said a couple of things...but! It’s nothing really, nothing major…” Seokjin chuckles nervously, scratching at the back of his head. 

“That can’t be the whole story?” You raise an eyebrow at your husband, testing him. Sliding lower down his chest a little so you have a better view of him, you trace the faint stubble on his chin. “Tell me, my king? Please?” 

“Don’t call me that,” Seokjin mumbles, looking away. “Doesn’t seem like you dislike it though, jeonha.” Your husband heaves a sigh, knowing you’ve won again. “You do know I love you with all my heart, right? And I don’t want you to think that I might take advantage of your drunkenness - which I didn’t, really, because you fell asleep too before anything actually happened…” He was stalling, you figured, as it might involve something that made him uncomfortable. 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell the whole thing… I just… why do I only remember me saying something along the lines of punishment?” Seokjin looks down at you with dilated pupils. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you...it’s just…” your husband pauses, thinking deeply about what his next statement might entail. “I can’t think about it without getting hard…” 

Seokjin looks almost strained as he looks to the side, avoiding your eyes. “If only you’ve seen - heard yourself last night, gods! It was like a different you completely” 

Just as if the universe is on your side, you’re starting to get clearer recollection of last night’s events, realization slowly dawning on you. Likewise, Ahro’s words ring inside your head, urging you to go make your move. Relying on the last possible ounce of alcohol remaining inside you, you gather all your courage and make a proposition. “Am I still up for punishment? Jeonha?” 

Seokjin dramatically exhales, rubbing at his face. “Don’t say things like that, ________!” Laughter is already bubbling in the pit of your stomach (just as much as the anticipation for what’s to come, in case your plan works out) but you control yourself, maintaining a straight face as you continue to query him. 

“Why? Did I say something, my king?” 

Your husband makes a sound, somewhere between a grunt frustration and resilience, and looks at you dead in the eye, “You saying those things just makes me really want to punish you.” Pulse rapidly accelerating, you make a final question, “What’s stopping you, jeonha?” 

Seokjin wastes no time with your affirmation, connecting your lips together. Moaning into the kiss, he shifts in his seat to cage you between him and the bed, strong arms holding him up as he deepens the kiss.

Shamelessly grinding his erection against you, Seokjin grunts, gripping at your thighs to keep them spread, “Do you feel how aroused you get me all the time?” Mewling at the sensation, you manage to choke out a reply, “As do you, my love.”

Your husband deftly unties the undergarments you’ve slept in. “Seok…” a breathy whine escapes you as he latches onto on of your nipples. The foreign feeling of his warm, wet tongue sends you shivering and it takes all your might to stop him as you remember Ahro’s advice yesterday, squeezing at your husband’s lithe biceps.

“What is it, sarang? Do you wish to stop?”

“N-no. I want to take control, Jinnie.”

Albeit slightly taken aback by your behest, Seokjin nods, sitting on his heels. “Lie down, my king. I want to pleasure you.” Shock is evident in your husband’s features as he complies with your command, cock already twitching in anticipation. “Take off you clothes too.” Seokjin obeys without further questioning, unknowingly easing the mild worry nipping at you.

Just as what Ahro had told you yesterday, you splay your hands on his chest, before bending down slowly to place kisses all over the milky expanse of his skin. Moving further south until your reach that thin trail of hair, Seokjin’s sudden intakes of air continuously urge you on, until you finally get to his crown jewel.

Licking at your lips, you hastily pull his pants down, your desperation for a mutual release guiding your actions on instinct. As soon as his cock springs free from its confines, you get into action, placing a wet kiss on the tip of his length before slowly taking the head in your mouth.

“O-oh, fuck! What did that lady tell you back at Okt…” Seokjin cries out a broken moan as you pull your mouth back up then diving back in, eventually getting lower to the base. You feel your husband tremble with your every bob, subconsciously tugging at your hair in pleasure.

Seokjin starts to squirm around you, pushing your mouth away from his shaft. “My love, please…. please let me be inside you. I can’t cum like this, please.” Seokjin beseeches, torso already covered in a fine sheen of sweat.

Your husband switches your positions as he pushes you gently onto the bed, but your hand shoots out to grab at his wrist. “C-can...can I be on top?”

There’s a slight furrow in Seokjin’s brows at your request, but he smiles nonetheless, keeping his excitement at bay. “Of course, love. You’re free to sit on your throne anytime.” 

He lies back down, both palms out to support you in your task. Gladly placing your hands on him, you crawl back on his lap, moving on your knees to position yourself to impale yourself on his cock.

Taking his length in your hand, you languidly swipe the tip against your wet folds. With one final breath, you push downward, sinking down on his cock until he’s fully seated inside you. Slowly you start, swiveling your hips just as you were told. Seokjin keeps his gaze at you through hooded eyes – a definite boost of confidence for you.

You settle on a particular rhythm, just gyrating your hips around before it gets too much like you’re almost at that point, but not quite yet. You start alternating by bouncing atop him, while your fingers find your clit, rubbing at your nether bud vigorously to push you towards your high.

Seokjin grabs at your breasts, twisting and tweaking your nipples, stimulating you further. He feels you clench around him as you orgasm nears quickly and his balls tighten likewise, painting your velvety walls white as he reaches his climax after you.

You fall to his chest, panting just as heavily as Seokjin. He decides on keeping himself still sheathed inside you for a while longer, reveling in the feeling of his cum dripping out of your pussy and onto his thigh. “The next time you go to Okta, take me with you, alright? I’ll have whatever you had back there.” 

© joontier 2020

[shining-red-diamond]

Until My Very Last Breath

Words: 1.6k

Pairing: MJ x Diana (OC)

Rating: PG-13

Genre: angst, fluff towards the end

Warnings: mentions blood, guns, a robbery, and mentions for surgical procedures

A/N: Italics mean they’re speaking in Korean.

March 5, 2018. 7:21AM

“I’ll be home before dinner,” MJ promised before kissing his wife goodbye.

As soon as he had closed the door behind him, Diana watched him through their bathroom window to make sure he was out of sight. Once his car had pulled out into the street, she immediately went into the bathroom and pulled out the pregnancy tests she had hidden in the cabinet that held her feminine products. After she had taken the three tests –one digital, one regular, and one strip- she waited patiently for the results while she planned MJ’s birthday dinner.

Diana would surprise him at the studio later to celebrate with the rest of the ASTRO members for a while, and then bring him back home to have his favorite meal for dinner before giving him his birthday cake. She already had a gift picked out for him, but ever since she was starting to not feel like herself, she knew that they might have an addition to their little family. Even their beagle Mocha seemed to detect something was off.

The alarm on Diana’s phone went off, and she stood up from the floor to peak at the results. Her intuitions had been right. She was pregnant. She and MJ were going to be parents.

In her excitement, she nearly called her husband but stopped herself. One, she wanted to wait until later at dinner to tell him; and two, she noticed Mocha lifting her head in the direction of the kitchen.

Mocha always like to relax on the bed when Diana and MJ weren’t on it, but when someone that they knew entered the house she always lifted her head before jumping off to greet whoever was at the door. However, Mocha just sat there and began to growl after about a minute.

Thinking that MJ had came back to retrieve a forgotten item, Diana just shushed the dog and hid the tests in her bathroom drawer to go see what was going on. She heard some rustling but brushed it off as her husband knocking something over.

“Myungjun?” she called before turning the corner to the kitchen.

-

The song ended, and the boys finished the choreo in their ending poses. After a few seconds, they all could relax and take five before rehearsing once more. A comeback was coming up, and they were working very hard on preparations. MJ was giving his 110%, but of course, he wanted to go home and be with Diana. That would be the best birthday present he could ever want.

As soon as he and the other members could take a break, the eldest member immediately went to get some water and check his phone. He pulled the bottle out of his bag and took a satisfying gulp. Checking his phone, he only got one text from his mother wishing him a happy birthday and requesting that he and Diana come have dinner with her and his father soon. MJ chuckled and replied back, promising he would.

“MJ-hyung!” Sanha called from another room. “Can you come here for a minute?”

“Okay!” he called back. Once he slid his phone into his pocket and his water in his bag, he stood back up and followed where he figured Sanha’s voice came from.

He noticed that one of the meeting rooms was pitch dark and decided to investigate. It was a cliché horror film move, but his curiosity had peaked. Tiny lights burned from the center of the room and realized that his members had surprised him on his birthday.

MJ burst out into laughter as they all sang “Happy Birthday” to him. After making his wish, he blew out his candles; and MJ took a few pictures to post to social media later. He was sad his wife wasn’t there, but he knew he’d see her when he got home.

After laughing at Sanha smearing some frosting on Moonbin’s face, MJ noticed his phone going off non-stop. When he checked, tons of texts were flooding in like a tsunami, mostly from his and Diana’s neighbor Mrs. Jung.

Myungjun, please call me.

Something has happened.

Where are you?

Diana’s in the emergency room.

MJ’s heart dropped at the most recent one, and immediately rushed out of the room as he called his neighbor. She immediately picked up.

“What’s going on?” he asked. “What’s happened to my wife?”

“Diana’s been taken to the emergency room,” she explained, her voice sounding like she had been crying. “Your house had been broken into, and the police have ruled it as a robbery gone wrong. Whoever broke into your house probably didn’t realize your wife was still home. They shot her.”

Fear and anxiety paralyzed MJ. One of his worst nightmares had come true, and he didn’t know if the love of his life had been taken from him. He could feel the tears push though.

Not Diana, he begged. Not my Chae Sarang.

-

MJ rushed into the emergency room and didn’t stop until he was in front of the nurse’s desk. His sudden movement caused her to jump a little.

“Can you please tell where Diana Kim’s room is?” he begged, his voice cracking as he was close to tears.

“Are you a relative?” she asked.

“I’m her husband.”

The nurse checked her records, and said, “She’s still in surgery right now, but when she’s out we’ll bring you back here for you to see her.”

“Please.”

Another nurse was brought in and helped him to the waiting room. He was so frozen in sorrow that he could hardly move at all. Thankfully, his other members, including Euni and Mrs. Jung had come by for support.

“She’s still in surgery,” MJ sobbed as Eunwoo gave him a tissue and Mrs. Jung sat down by him. “She wasn’t shot in the heart or the head, was she?”

Mrs. Jung shook her head. “She was shot in the arm. They think that whoever had the gun got scared and just fired before fleeing. I heard a gunshot before I heard Mocha howling loudly. When I came in and saw what had happened, I called for help right away.”

“I appreciate you checking on the matter,” MJ nodded. “Is Mocha okay?”

“My husband is watching her.”

JinJin gave him a pat and said, “We’ll be here for as long as you want us to be.”

The eldest said nothing but nodded.

The next few minutes seemed to drag on. His head hurt from crying, but he didn’t care. He wanted his wife to be okay. He wanted to cuddle her, hold her, anything. His mind raced with multiple scenarios. What if she gets an infection? What if she has to have her arm amputated? What if she only has a few months to live? What if-

“Family of Diana Kim?” a voice broke the silence.

MJ looked up to find the doctor standing at the doorway with a clipboard in hand. He stood and greeted the doctor with a bow.

“I’m Kim Myungjun,” he said. “Diana’s my wife. Is she alright?”

The doctor gave him a reassuring smile and said, “She’s going to be just fine. We got the bullet out, cleaned the wound, and stitched her up.”

MJ released a sigh of relief.

“They’re very lucky, too,” the doctor continued. “The bullet hit very close to an artery in Diana’s arm, otherwise she would have bled to death.”

They?

“I’m sorry. Did you say ‘they?’”

“Yes. Did you know your wife was pregnant?”

Speechless was all MJ was feeling. He had noticed that Diana hadn’t been feeling like herself lately, but now it all made sense. Her sickness in mornings, her appetite changing, her moods being weird, everything.

“Congratulations,” the doctor smiled. “She’s awake now, if you’d like to see her.”

He was soon lead to a hall that housed multiple rooms on each side of it, and Diana’s room was the third one on the right. Upon entering, the lights were dim, but a bright one illuminated his wife sitting up in her bed. It pained him to see her arm wrapped in a sling, but he knew it was temporary.

“Diana,” he whispered her name.

She looked up, her eyes meeting his, and a smile appeared on her face in an instant.

“Hey, baby,” she greeted as he bent down to hug and kiss her. “I’m so sorry this happened. I never wanted this to happen on your birthday.”

MJ shook his head before pulling back and sitting on the edge of her bed. “Don’t blame yourself, please. Neither of us knew what was going to happen today.”

He then noticed the pictures sitting in his wife’s lap. Upon a closer inspection, he realized they were ultrasound pictures. Of course they were of Diana’s womb, but it showed something small and bean shaped in it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, pointing out the photos.

“I found out right after you left for practice this morning,” she explained as she handed them to him.“I was going to surprise you at your birthday dinner tonight.”

Turning his head, MJ saw that Diana wasn’t meeting his eyes. He lifted her head for her to focus on him. “I’m just happy you’re still here with me,” he whispered. “You and our child.”

His hand went to her stomach, and his wife smiled softly.

“How’s your arm?” MJ asked.

“There’s no bullet, thanks to the surgery,” Diana replied. “But they said I suffered some nerve damage, so I will be starting physical therapy next week. I’m also going to be taking time off from work until they say I can do things normally again.”

Without a word, MJ pulled his into a warm and loving hug. Pressing a kiss to her head, he whispered, “I’ve promised before, and I’ll do it again; but I’m going to protect you until my very least breath. And that extends to our baby as well.”

-

Tags: @daybreakx @yeaimfishboi @keeper-of-the-uwus

[restlessmaknae]

Paradox [pt.6]

Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7

Word count: 1818

Genre: angst, drama, a bit of fluff

Pairing: Lee Donghyuck (Haechan); Yu Dayoung (OC)

Setting: non AU

Warning: mentions of character death, suicide, hints of depression

Chapter warning: suicide attempt

They were so young, so talented yet so desperate.

Dayoung Paradox (The paradox of happiness&pain)

She was the epitome of joy. She was the epitome of delight. She was my sunshine; fighting her way through the clouds and storms, shining brightly and inviting rainbows to the sky.

Yet, behind those cute little dimples and angel-like laughter, there was a broken girl, desperately trying to find her place in the world. When she no longer wanted to put on her mask, that’s when she became a living paradox.

 Donghyuck was in the backstage room after Music Bank with the new NCT sub-unit members when he heard the news.

“Have you heard about that former YG trainee who collapsed on stage during their showcase?” a new girl group member asked her friend and that was what caught his attention.

“Yes, poor girl,” the other pouted sadly. He was naïve and thought that they talked only about the showcase and he almost left the room when he heard the continuation of the story. “I didn’t think that she would try to commit suicide. I guess the company hid something from us. She couldn’t have attempted to kill herself if it wasn’t for the company’s cruelty.”

“I agree. I really hope that she would survive. She deserves so much more than what she had got,” she flinched, showing sympathy towards an idol who wasn’t an idol anymore.

Donghyuck frantically rose from his seat, causing the girls to jump in surprise when he snuggled up behind them. I must have gone crazy. They can’t talk about her. It can’t be Dayoung. He wanted to reassure himself as those dreary thoughts nestled into his mind.

“Did you just say that Yu Dayoung committed suicide?” he yelped, his voice shaking from fear. A sudden spike of shiver ran down his spine as he imagined the scene. He immediately shook his head in an attempt to push the sight out of his head. No, it can’t happen. It just can’t.

“Yes, sunbaenim,” the less nervous girl answered, fervently bobbing her head. “She tried to but the ambulance arrived quickly, so she’s in hospital right now. They say that her condition is quite unstable because she hurt her spine and ankles badly while jumping off the roof but we’re waiting for further news.”

That was enough evidence for him to get to his feet and rush out of the room. His mind was full of imaginations of Dayoung’s fragile body crushing to the ground, her silhouette immediately painted with crimson-red lines. Her smile fading, her eyes slipping shut. Her lips tinted scarlet and her face being pale as death. Death. The word left a bitter aftertaste, he almost choked on his saliva. The feeling was terrifying, it scared him to death. Death. He practically tripped over himself as he was making his way out of the building.

Run, run, run! His mind demanded and his body obeyed. He couldn’t bear the thought of not having her in his life. His hands began to shake, his whole body trembled with fear. He felt like his heart was being encaged. Dread consumed his body like cancer; it slowly had an effect on him but the result was fatal.

“Where are you going?” he heard a familiar male voice and felt a strong grip on his wrist. The owner of the voice grabbed his elbow and spun him around to face him. It was Youngho, the leader of the new sub-unit. As the title suggests, he was always there for the guys when they needed a shoulder to lean on but Donghyuck didn’t feel like talking to him right now when he had better things to do.

“Dayoung’s in the hospital because she wanted to kill herself,” he tried to shrug his grip off, inwardly hurrying the older boy to let him go but he wouldn’t budge.

“How will you get there?”

“I-I don’t know,” he stumbled upon his words. He was so caught up in the sudden downpour, he didn’t see the bigger thunderstorm coming. “I will find a way,” he declared impatiently.

His heart faltered a little when he looked at Youngho who was pondering for a thought. His face was fathomless at first but his features slowly became gentle and caring. He knew he had a plan.

“I’ll drive you there. I get manager hyung’s car and I’ll take you there,” he tightened his grip around his wrist and dragged him to the company’s parking lot.

Donghyuck was left there alone for minutes that felt like hours. He couldn’t help but nibble his lips because he had the urge to go and run to her. He couldn’t waste any more time. It was Dayoung’s life that mattered and not the way he gets to the hospital! Wait, what hospital?

It struck him like lightening that he didn’t even know the name of the hospital where she was transferred to. He cursed quietly under his breath when he fished out his phone from his pocket. His hands were still shaking and tears were pricking at his eyes, so he couldn’t even see the screen well.

Luckily, Youngho arrived within a minute and by the time they started the engine, he had already looked up the case of her accident. According to an online newspaper, she was sent to Gangnam Yonsei Sarang Hospital which was only a 10-minute drive from the KBS broadcasting station.

“So, how did it happen?” Youngho broke the uncomfortable silence that was stretching out between them.

Donghyuck gulped. His lips didn’t seem to form words when he spoke again. It felt like he was only coughing up curses that scarred his skin. He never thought that it would be so difficult to answer for a question like this.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “The girls said she jumped off the roof,” he stared out of the window, his eyes staring far ahead. In the midst of the early evening city lights, everything seemed grey for him. The graceful skyscrapers, the breath-taking bridges, the cosy parks… Everything felt definite. Even the possibility of death felt definite at that time.

His mind was searching for a way out of this frightening state but the news was too much to handle. The fact that she had been hurt was like a bullet in his heart, let alone the fact that she was the one who wanted to hurt herself. It was too much, he wanted to distract himself but eventually found himself searching for further articles regarding Dayoung’s accident.

“Oh my gosh…” his hand flew up to his mouth in shock when he read that she jumped off the roof of the YG entertainment building which was one of the highest building in the area. Small wonder why her condition was unstable, she could have died on spot immediately.

“I’ve never thought that she would want to take her own life. She looked like she handled the pain well,” Youngho commented, more like to himself but Donghyuck couldn’t miss the opportunity to clarify the girl.

“She did” the younger nodded without hesitation. “She never let me see how much pain she had to bear. I was so stupid because I rarely protested. I wanted her to tell me her burdens when she’s ready and feels like doing so. If I had been more fervent−“

“You can’t blame yourself,” his friend cut him off. He looked at him sideways while he still kept an eye on the road. “You couldn’t have seen it if she didn’t want you to,” he said gently, pulling the car into a parking lot. Donghyuck was so worried, he couldn’t even feel the time flying. He had to admit that the more he talked with Youngho, the less anxious he felt. His presence and wide words made him feel a bit relaxed. Not totally relaxed but almost.

As soon as they got there, they both skipped out of the vehicle, running to the reception like it was a matter of life and death. The receptionist passed on the information she knew about Dayoung after she had made sure that they were her close relatives and gave them the directions to her room.

Unfortunately, when they finally got there, quite short of breath, the nurses stood in their way to approach the room.

“There’s an operation going on at the moment, so Dayoung-ssi is not in the room. Please, wait here and do not disturb the other patients. Thank you for your understanding!” they bowed respectfully before they headed to another ward.

Donghyuck let himself slide down to sit on the floor, he didn’t even take a glance at all the seats that were offered for the visitors. He was too shocked and weary for that. He drew a shaky, thick breath, his hands balled into fists. He was mad at the nurses for not letting him see at least the hospital bed of Dayoung. He was mad at fate for such an evil twist that no one was able to expect, except maybe Dayoung herself. Last but not least, he was totally mad at himself for not noticing the symptoms.

“What if she’s going to die because of me?” he whimpered as his stomach churned with worry. “Because I couldn’t stop her. Because I didn’t see that I should stop her. How could I be so blind? Why didn’t I recognise the symptoms? Why−“

“Donghyuck, look at me!” Youngho demanded gently but there was also a hint of confidence in his voice.

“I was there beside her and I couldn’t even realise that she needs help. I was such a fool. I thought that−“ I was enough and despite all the hardships, she will be fine with my help. He wanted to say but the words stuck in his mouth. Johnny caught sight of his shaking hands and reached out to hold them. The moment he took his hands in his, tears began to well up at the corner of Donghyuck’s eyes. He couldn’t take it anymore, it bottled up inside him and he didn’t want to pretend anymore that it was alright.

“She’s strong, she will survive.”

“What if she won’t?” he cried out and salty tears slowly streamed down his face.

“She will,” Youngho stated but he couldn’t cover up his fear well, his voice was shaky, too.

Nevertheless, Donghyuck let himself hold onto that hope and cherish the thought that she would really survive. She had to. She was her beaming light after all, she always found her way through the dark. Always.

To tell you the truth, I don’t know what it will feel like. Falling, flying with the wind and being free… But I know what I’ll be thinking of. Because amidst all the darkness and grief, you were always there. My beaming light. I’ll be thinking of that light. I’ll be thinking of you.