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midnightmoonkiss · 5 years ago

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Sweet Temptations

Izuku Midoriya X Reader

Summary: The rain certainly provides the perfect atmosphere to nap in.

WARNINGS!: none

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: It was raining a few days ago when I was taking a nap, so I decided to conjure up a self indulgent fic >~<

Just To Clarify:

Izuku is your fiance

you both live together in a house in the mountains

commute to work is probably a pain but oh well

The sprinkle of rain pitter-pattered gently on the roof of your shared home, dribbling off of the sides and thumping against the flat, smooth rocks strategically placed beneath.

Drip.

Drop.

Drip.

Though it was faint, the splashing of its drizzle in the koi pond just beside you could still be heard, even through the paper shoji dividing the two seperate spaces. The fresh yet blissfully familiar earthy scent of it seeped in through an open, wood-framed window not too far from where you sat, rain splattering noisily onto the vibrant red maple leaves just outside of it. The sweet sound molded together with the soft jingle of chimes swaying in the light breeze to create a beautiful melody that soothed your soul more-so than any show ever dreamed of doing.

Downpour was always best in the spring, the cool atmosphere welcoming it with loving arms. It always gave you a good excuse to stay bundled up on the plush couch, sipping at a freshly made cup of herbal tea.

The wide TV just in front of you idly played something you couldn’t quite remember the name of, becoming more of background noise as your eyes always seemed to travel back to the droplets lazily flowing down the foggy glass of the window, dripping down onto the wet frame.

Surely the water would seep inside soon, traveling slowly down the wall just to puddle on the tatami mats, but the fresh air it provided was too good to pass up for something so mundane.

Besides, it would take a long time for that to actually occur.

Days like this were the ones you found yourself loving the most.

A day to relax your bones stiffened by adult duties, letting the sounds of nature wash over your tired being.

A day to not have to worry about anything.

No responsibilities, chores are already taken care of, work all done.

There was absolutely nothing of any importance that needed your immediate attention.

The lack of work wasn’t the only good thing on this fine day, though.

It was the peace and quiet.

A perk of moving into a home a ways away from the bustling city was the relative stillness, as well as the much-needed privacy.

That, and being surrounded by wildlife.

The place was a traditional Japanese home, or similar to it as the realtor had said. Surrounded by trees, flowers, well-placed stones, and babbling brooks.

Living in a house like this was always a dream.

Perhaps thats why you were able to convince your lovely fiance to live here.

Tatami floor mats cushioned your near every step, the woodwork filling the interior the house becoming a sight for sore eyes every time you happened to notice the beautiful craftsmanship.

Everything was pristine.

New, yet held that comforting sense of tradition you always wanted.

A place where you could build a life with your handsome husband-to-be.

Yawning, you placed your tea cup onto the coffee table before stretching out on the couch you had lounged around on for far too many hours, arms rising high above your head. A satisfied groan left your lips the moment your back popped, the sickening crack being far louder than you had originally anticipated.

Boy, was your posture in true shambles.

The bone king quaked at your very feet.

You snorted at the thought, hopping off and stretching your legs out for a moment.

A quick press of the button turned the forgotten television off with a jingly bleep.

No point keeping it on when a new quest had opened up for your curious soul.

The quest of: Finding Izuku and annoying him.

Honestly, who would you be if you spent too long willingly away from him?

His sheer presence was far too calming and therapeutic for you to ever even consider such a foolish option.

Or perhaps you were just as love-struck with him as you were when you first had met.

Besides, knowing him, your big man probably desired your company as much as you suddenly did his.

So, grabbing your cup of tea, you slid your tan slippers on over your Christmas-themed fuzzy socks, wrapping your cozy (F/C) blanket around your shoulders before setting out on your little adventure.

It was around noon, the sun high in the sky shining as brightly as it could behind a plethora of darkened clouds. He always seemed to like reading around this time, his internal clock making his fingers itch for something to grab and run his eyes over.

Oftentimes his fingers swept through news articles on his phone or turned a delicate page of a random book that previously caught his brilliant green gaze at that old book store at the edge of the city that felt, in many ways, like a home you never knew you needed.

The store's calming ambience was the key inspiration for the fairy lights and various decorations scattered about your home, especially that kotatsu that sat in the middle of your living room.

Your feet padded gently on the tatami as you made your way around the house, first checking his little office hidden away in the back. It was hard not to cringe at the state of it. Papers were scattered everywhere and overflowing from the poor trash bin, random maps sprawled out on the desk, notebooks filled with notes and ideas to the left of his old, squeaky chair. It was a mess. Did he ever clean this place?

You were tempted to do so yourself for a split second, before realizing everything was in a specific place for a reason. A reason unknown to you, but known to him, as he explained sorrowfully the one night you did clean his office. He was a messy boy, forever and always. At least with his work. His mind ran too fast for his hands to keep up half the time, resulting in.. chaotic messes only he could comprehend.

Blinking, you slid the door shut with your foot, sipping at your drink as you carried on your search.

The house was quiet, save for the ever-present pattering of rain against it, giving no real indications of his true whereabouts.

Typically you could rely on his persistent muttering to swiftly locate him, but today was as silent as ever. No doubt the atmosphere got to him as well, making him want to relax somewhere and listen closely to the soft rainfall whilst doing whatever he pleased.

Humming, you checked each and every room you came across upstairs first, looking for the man you loved oh-so-much.

As time ticked on and minutes flew by, you found yourself getting pouty, fingers thrumming against the now empty mug as you continued searching.

Where on earth could he be? Sure, the house was a bit big, but you had already managed to cover the entire upstairs floor and the majority of the bottom. Calling out to him would be easier, he’d no doubt reply in that cheery tone that graced his voice whenever he spoke to you, but you wanted to find him on your own. Surprise him to a degree.

His senses were sharp, and he’d hear you the moment you came a few meters near him - no matter how quiet you were, but that wasnt going to stop you from trying to surprise him.

Plus, calling out his name didnt quite seem appropriate. The still, chilly air would be ruined by your voice, and you couldn’t help but subconsciously want this search to go on until you yourself found him with your own eyes, and not use his voice as an aid.

After checking a few more rooms, you sighed heavily, head thumping against the wall as your resolution crumbled beneath your feet.

Was it really worth it? Being silent?

You weren’t even a ninja or some vigilante, you were just a bakery owner who never needed to sneak around, especially their own living space.

With a huff of aggravation, you walked to the kitchen. Holding an empty mug was pointless and served no purpose other than getting in your way, so naturally you decided to get another drink.

Oh, what to choose?

There were so many options to choose from other than tea.

Well, not really. More like, an endless amount of tea and three other things. Probably.

Coffee? No, no, even if you were feeling a bit sleepy, now was not the time for a caffeine high.

Oh!

What about hot chocolate?

Yes! Absolutely!

This cold weather certainly called for a nice, hot cup of a sugary sweet, chocolatey drink to warm your tummy and renew your resolve.

As you were mixing the cocoa powder into your warmed up cup of milk, watching with childish glee as the dark brown swirled with white for a moment until it mixed into a nice tawny brown that reminded you of delicious brownies, a distant noise caught your attention.

Your head instantly perked up, eyes flying up to peer out the large window in front of you.

Rain continued to pour softly down onto the wet and muddy ground, momentary water halos forming as they splatted down onto the darkened pathement.

A car zoomed past, throwing muddied water up onto the far away end of your driveway.

Ah.

So it was a car.

It was hard not to feel disappointed at that, partially because you had hoped it was Izuku giving away his location by accident.

Though he could be quite loud at times, that man had the power to be quieter than a kid told to wake their parent up in a bit to do chores.

With a discontented sigh, you placed the spoon into the sink, sprinkling some tiny marshmallows into your drink before walking off to continue the man hunt.

There weren’t too many places left inside for you to check, and you managed to do so in only a minute or two.

Truly, you were dumbfounded.

Where could he possibly be?

Did he take his car and go somewhere?

No, no, he would have told you if that were the case, and you would have seen him exit the front entrance as well.

So where?

You stopped in your tracks, being slapped upside the head with sudden realization.

Of course he wouldnt be inside huddled away like a lonely hermit on a day like this, no, he’d enjoy it! Breathe in the earthy fresh air as it enveloped him.

He loved the rain far more than you did, so it made sense.

You smiled, taking a big sip of your hot chocolate as you suddenly knew exactly where he was.

It was hard to say you didn’t feel like a complete idiot for missing something so simple as you walked back to the living room.

There was always one place he liked to hang out at during a nice day.

On the engawa hovering over the koi pond.

You stopped just in front of the shoji screen, excitement already sparking in your system.

You rocked back and forth on your feet as you took a breath to calm your racing heart, the goofiest smile etched upon your face.

Your fingers dipped into the slots used to open the door,

One.

Two.

Three!!

“BOO!” You screeched like a banshee down at the man relaxing on a cushion by the edge of the wood, glasses tipping off his nose as his focused eyes stayed glued to the book in his hands.

“Ahh!” He playfully shouts in response, a smirk upon his lips as he notices your exasperated state slinking down onto your knees on the polished floor with a look of utter defeat upon your cute face

“I was trying to scare you..!”

Came your complaint, eyes boring into his own as you pouted.

“I was scared. I screamed!” Izuku chuckles, shoulders shaking as he couldnt control that goofy smile of his.

If he was trying to look convincing, he was failing horribly.

You huffed at his antics, he was far too cute to even pretend to be mad at.

You should have known better, though, trying to scare the number one hero in his own home was like trying to scare someone who knew you were coming from a mile away.

Plus, you knew that before you even realized where he was.

It was to be expected of such a talented guy.

After sliding the shoji shut to keep the warmer air in, you crawled over to him. His upper back rested comfortably on a wooden support beam as his legs sprawled out in front of him, a leather book perched on his lap.

“So, what are you reading?” from the looks of it, it seemed to be an older book of sorts, the pages a yellowish-white and the cover boring no text.

You were now sitting beside him on your knees in what would’ve been shoulder to shoulder if he wasn’t so much more taller than you, sipping at your drink once more.

It was simply too good to resist.

“It was described to me as a ‘classic’ at the store. It’s a book filled with multiple fairy tales, each having a sort of.. theme or moral told in ink at the end. There's got to be at least twenty or so in here..” he spoke with enthusiasm, eagerly showing you the one he was currently reading.

“‘The Little Mermaid’?”

It grew increasingly rare for children to know the tale of The Little Mermaid, or at least, the adaptation of it that was shown on a screen. It was a fairly old film, one you remember your grandparents speaking briefly about with joy, but still a very beloved one. A joyous little tale of a red-haired mermaid seeking the love of a prince. How cute.

But why on Earth was he reading a children's book, then?

Not that you’d ever judge him, it was just that his taste was generally more.. Sophisticated. To a degree, of course.

“Yes. But this is the original one. The true tale of ‘The Little Mermaid’, the one filled with pain and gore.”

“P-pain.. and gore?” Well now that certainly didn't sound like a children's book. Is that why it's called a classic?

He hums, thumbing through a few pages, “It’s kind of inspiring. Each step she took felt like she was walking on glass, but she never gave up on being with her prince. I think, at least, I haven’t really finished it yet.”

“Are all the originals that horrifying?” you looked down at the book with disbelief, certainly not expecting each dream-like fairy tail to revolve around a horror story.

“Some are worse, some are better, but it’s a nice read.” he shrugged, going back to his original place in the book and nudging his glasses back up on his nose.

They always did make him look so gosh darn cute.

His eyesight was as perfect as the sky was blue, but for reading? He needed glasses. They were those cheap kinds found at bookstores, but damn if those black frames didn't pull his handsome face together.

He looked so attractive, even in this dulled lighting.

You’d expect someone to look gloomy when it rains, the shadows casted by the caliginous sky and stormy clouds bringing out the sadness buried deep within someone's soul and causing them to frown. Something mystical yet scientific. The rain always brought misfortune and sorrow, but Izuku has and forever will be that sun that never stops shining brightly no matter what. That optimism despite even the toughest situations always affected the way he looked, and boy did he always look irresistible. Even in this rainy overcast, he still smiled and sparkled with enthusiasm

Just another thing to love endlessly about him

You couldnt tell, but you were currently staring at him with lovestruck eyes and the dopiest smile that ever existed plastered on your chocolate coated lips.

Izuku found himself grinning along with you as his face stayed forward, peaking at you from the corner of his eye.

Your mug of hot chocolate was seemingly forgotten as you hugged his large, muscular arm, an act he certainly didnt mind if the light flush on his cheeks were anything to go by.

“You’ve got a chocolate moustache, princess.” The boy pointed out, lips pressing into a thin line to push down any giggles rumbling in his chest.

“W-what! Really?” oh, how embarrassing. How the hell did you get it on yourself? You weren’t a kid, only kids got those, right? Oh dear.

Just as you were about to wipe it off with your blanket still draped around you, Izuku turned, gently cupping your cheek and gazing deeply into your wide, (E/C) eyes.

Oh man.

His eyes.

Up close, they were the most beautiful thing you ever did see.

Age certainly did affect them, but not in a negative way. No, they were still as captivating as ever, but now there were tiny specks of brown you’d only truly see if you were this close to him, but god did they bring those eyes together. It was like staring into a forest coated in morning dew and shimmering with the blinding light of the sun.

Addicting. You’d certainly be the first to say you could stare into them for hours and never get bored.

“Here, let me.” his tone was softer than ever, yet held a bite of playfulness.

Eyes slipping closed, you nuzzled your rosey cheek into his scarred palm, an act the man you loved couldn't help but find utterly adorable and innocent.

Honestly, you were expecting him to wipe it away with his thumb or something, but the moment you felt something warm and wet lick across the top of your lip, you erupted with laughter.

“Eww! Izukuu!” you nearly choked on the words from how hard you found yourself laughing, weakly pushing his face away.

“What do you mean ew~” That teasing tone he always seemed to use on you during moments like these resurfaced, “i’ve done much ‘grosser’ things to you than just licking your lip, darling.”

Face burning from embarrassment, you whined loudly as he gingerly pulled you into his lap, your thighs on the sides of his own, placing the book down beside him just so that he could hug you close to him.

It was impossible not to relax instantly into his comforting embrace, the blanket previously doing next to nothing to protect you from this chilly air, but his body was like a heater in itself.

So, so warm.

“You’re forgiven.” you mumble against his neck, unintentionally sending sweet shivers down his spine.

“You s-sound tired..” the bashful man stuttered in that cute way he always seemed to do when flustered, hand idly rubbing up and down your blanket clad back.

“Mm.. just a little.” You didn't even realize how tired you were until you had a chance to sink into his warmth. Perhaps searching all over the house for the past half hour wore you out more than you’d like to admit.

Plus.. the calming rain certainly wasnt helping.

It was much more intense out here than it was when inside, the splatter of it hitting the pond not as muffled as before, mainly due to the fact that the pond was so close you could reach out and touch it if you so desired.

Which you didn’t.

Because then you’d get wet.

The sheer thought of getting cold water on your warm skin made you cringe, huffing through your nose just to nuzzle it into the crook of his neck.

Breathing in his scent was like being slapped with all the good things in your life.

He always had a bit of a musky scent. It was hard to tell if it came from his sweat or just natural scent, either way- it wasn’t all that bad when paired with his shampoo and conditioner.

Always one to use, for lack of better words, green scents. Planty scents. Scents that made you just want to bury your nose in his dreamily soft, fluffy green hair and stay there all day, carding your fingers through the locks just to hear his satisfied hum.

In a short conclusion, not only did he radiate manliness, but he also smelled manly.

Isn’t that what his friend, Red Riot, would say? Manly?

It was hard to describe him as anything but that.

He certainly grew up quite a bit after his years at UA, growing taller and becoming even more buff as he got to work on the field more. Age 18 was certainly a convenient time for him to have a growth spurt. And here he was now, 25, littered with scars you always pressed loving kisses to whenever you got the chance, and as handsome as ever.

But he knew you liked his scent, because you would often tell him that. Especially when he got out of the shower. It was actually hard for him to get dressed because you were clinging onto him, enjoying the lovely smells as he desperately clutched at his towel and whined.

It was very easy for him to compare you to a baby sloth, something that always clung to another. It was cute, and he always adored the attention, something he lacked growing up.

Even now, he knew exactly what you were thinking as you sighed happily. Your body seemed to slump against his, fitting into his arms like the puzzle piece he had always been looking for. He’d be damned if he ever lost it.

Pressing a tender kiss against your temple, he smiled the moment he noticed your breathing slowly getting deeper.

“Falling asleep, hmm?” he whispered, “I guess you do nap around this time.”

As expected, he didn't quite get a response other than a simple hum.

You really were too cute.

But he couldn't blame you anyway, it was the perfect weather and place to take a nap.

It wasn't often he was able to nap with you, so you must be inwardly jumping for joy as his heartbeat and soft thumps of rain against the roof lulled you to sleep.

You always felt so.. protected and safe in his hold. And that wasn’t just because he was a hero, no, it was something more primal, like whenever you were in his arms you were always drowning in the feeling of love and safety.

Maybe it was something more than that, but you were far too tired to actually come up with any logical explanations.

So instead, you finally let yourself drip into dreamland in the warm embrace of your beloved, letting gentle chimes swaying in the wind and the relaxing sound of rain be your guide.

And Izuku?

Well, he went back to reading his book, using your lovely ass as a place to rest it.

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its0katka · 6 years ago

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A Personal History of Mountains

I’m five years old, seven years old, thirteen years old, and I drive through mountains to get to my cousin’s house an hour away in Duchess County. I know they aren’t really mountains though, because they aren’t tall enough, or craggy enough. They don’t look like the mountains I see in books and on TV.

I’m used to tall things because of living in New York but the skyscrapers are oftentimes too tall and give a warped perspective on what tall actually is. Nature is different, though. Nature is real.

They look pretty in the fall when the leaves change colors, but when it’s summer they just look like oversized bushes, in the winter they are a dead bark brown. They aren’t rolling, it’s usually one large dome and then normal-sized foliage otherwise. Sometimes they look pretty when they are covered in snow.

I try not to think about mountains because one time I tried to hike Bear Mountain and I hated it.

I’m 20 years old and I’m flying to Ghana. We transfer planes in Germany and as we fly south, we cross the alps. I don’t know which alps, but we’re so high up above them that all we see is snow-capped tops and sharp peaks clearing the sky. I remember how excited I was to see them, because they looked like real mountains, and I was so close to them.

In Ghana I went on another hike to Mount Afadjato. I thought it’d be fine because I’d done a hike to Arthur’s Seat in Edinburgh the summer before, and that was alright, it was the same amount of time (two hours up, an hour down) and I figured I was spry enough to do it.

I wasn’t. I fell behind the group quite far, especially when trying to walk down the mountain. I was suffering badly with the elevation. I was wearing Crocs.

Arthur’s Seat was 822 ft tall. It had stairs along the way, and safety ropes. Mount Afadjato 2,904 ft tall. It had nothing but steep climbs, slippery rocks, and a worn train. I lost my footing at one point and slid down the mountain, I thought I was going to die. The group went to a cave the next day and I opted to stay home and try to watch the Ghanaian version of American Idol on the TV we had that never really worked.

I’m 22 and living in Žilina, Slovakia. I was provided with a three bedroom flat all to myself, for the modest price of $400 Euros a month. My Independent Study stipend pretty much covers the rent, I have to use my personal funds to buy food but it’s not too bad because I don’t have a fridge, so I basically have to eat vegetarian, eat out, or not eat at all.

From my balcony (yes, I have a balcony, yes, it’s where I keep my milk, cheese and yogurt to stay cold in the frigid November temperatures), I can see the Malá Fatras, a Slovak mountain range that’s popular with skiers. I love standing out on the freezing balcony looking at it because these are the tallest mountains I’ve ever seen, and the closest I’ll ever get. It makes me feel normal, like the world is not so vast, like there are borders and boundaries and it’s somehow cozy, in a weird way.

One weekend, all employees of Stanica are gone on holiday; Dusan goes on a trip to Bratislava with his girlfriend, Audrey and Helen go to Budapest. I am on my own except for Ints, who offers to hang out with me while everyone is gone, who makes sure to take me out to bars and have a good time, who drags me out to a mountain nearby to go see some castle ruins, except that I’m hungover as hell and the walk up is steep as hell and we stop for a cigarette break halfway through and I admit that I’m dying and I’m sore and dehydrated and can’t go on, can we please go home?

We stop at a bar on the way home and have warm beer. We go out later that night and I scream at him drunk in the snow because I want to have sex with him but he keeps saying he has a girlfriend but no one has ever met her, ever, not even his closest friend Aldrick and everyone keeps saying to me, “Wow are you Ints’s girlfriend?” and it killed me every time.

Years later I would understand that he was doing the right thing, he liked me but he was doing the right thing and knew it would be bad if we got involved.

I’m 28 and on my honeymoon and we make a stop in Lake Como. I’m still not feeling 100% health-wise, and I welcome the chance to relax along the lake. Our Airbnb is a time capsule, it’s a separate room and bathroom attached to the home of a spry Englishwoman who married an Italian man and basically gets to see out her days in their Sala Comacina flat, with paramount views of Lake Como and a water taxi stop down the road.

It’s more beautiful than anywhere I’ve ever been. The air is clear and crisp and warm, the Italian alps are visible in the far distance, snow capped and a stark comparison to the emerald green, sloping hills along the lake. When the sun sets, it turns them brilliant neon colors of pink, orange and purple.

We dine on prosciutto pizza and grilled fish at a place where the tables and chairs are made of plastic, and the local teenagers drop by for cokes. I take a picture and post it. Someone asks, “Is this a painting?” No, it’s reality.

I’m 30, and we’re driving through Switzerland, exhausted and half sick but determine to visit Berggasthaus Aescher, the famous building built into the side of a mountain, which serves food if you’re lucky enough to get there. I’ve done all the research, including figuring out how to get there by car, through winding roads and up steep elevations and narrow streets where the Swiss sports cars zip around like it’s no big deal except if you aren’t careful enough you may well drive off a cliff because there are zero barriers, dude.

We see old people, old people, riding bikes up the hills and I just feel really bad about myself, in comparison.

We find pockets of green space, sprawling hills with farms and cows, so many cows, cows everywhere and adorable cottages and I just keep wondering, “Oh my god what does one do here to occupy their time, especially with all of these insane hills and narrow roads to climb?”

Finally we reach Ebenalp and the cable car that will take us to the top of the mountain. All the way there we’ve been surrounded by tall crags and ranges of snow-peaked geo wonders. I can’t stop taking photos of them because this truly is the closest I’ve ever been to a real mountain. It’s 5,380 ft high and I wonder how on earth it’s possible for this cable car to bring us up so steeply and yet be so smooth and yet never just one day fall apart and crash.

We get to the top and realize we are sorely underdressed; I, in a thin sweater and a designer purse, Handsome Man in a long sleeve shirt and dress boots. Everyone else around us is wearing legit hiking gear — industrial boots, heavy coats, snow pants, bandanas. All of the things I read about Berggasthaus Aescher said it was an 15 minute hike to the guesthouse. I am winded in the first five minutes and I am walking down, not up.

At Berggasthaus Aescher, we realize it’s too late to buy food because the last cablecar leaves at 5:30pm, and if we miss it, we must hike all the way down, and who knows how long that’d take and what condition we’d be in by the end. We take some marvelous photos and retreat back where the steep climb has me stopping several points through to catch my breath. I see old women and little kids hiking and wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

I really liked Switzerland when we were there, it was this crazy place where everything was so expensive and no one looked like each other and the language, what even was it, and we paid $40 for pad thai at a takeout place, and Handsome Man got food poisoning because he didn’t cook his fondue meats well enough.

But what I can’t stop thinking about are those mountains, and valleys, where it’s just you and the land and the animals and the nature, and it’s so beyond beautiful and peaceful and you wonder how anything could ever be wrong there, and it’s not wrong there, it’s perfection.

#mountains #travel #Travel Photography #nature #travel blog #ghana #switzerland #italy #lake como #slovakia #swiss alps

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capriclonus · 7 years ago

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Life is Strange: Before the Storm - Rachel got mad powers

So, I just finished Life is Strange: Before the Storm Episode One. And to dive right in, Rachel definitely has powers she is unaware of, and is definitely the storm in the first game. Everyone’s saying the main reasons why, so I’m just going to list them real quick:

- “Nice Rachel we’re having” - “Maybe this is Rachel’s revenge.” - Rachel plays Prosperous in the Tempest, the wizard who creates the storm. - And, most defining, at the end of the episode Rachel’s screams propel the wind. Very deliberate directing here.

Everyone is also taking guesses at WHY Chloe’s death stops the storm, and mostly people are saying its because Rachel wanted Chloe to die so they could be reunited. To me, that does not fit Rachel’s character at all - she would never wish death on Chloe, given how much she cared about her. My bet is this:

The storm in the second game got progressively worse whenever Max stopped Chloe’s death. This wasnt because of Max, but rather because in keeping CHloe alive the storm would continue to grow, uncontrolled. So, the storm started BECAUSE Max saved Chloe, right? But here’s the thing: no it didn’t. The storm was always coming, because its a physical manifestation of Rachel’s negative emotions - primarily grief, loneliness, anger, all that bad stuff. I don’t believe the storm is Rachel, no, and I don’t think she would intend to destroy Arcadia Bay (we’ve been shown that Rachel, like Chloe, is oftentimes ruled by her emotions - this storm is the manifestation of many negative and powerful ones) but evidently that is what is going to happen.

No, Rachel did not want Chloe to die. But Chloe dying was the only way to stop the storm. Why? Because Rachel really and truly cared for Chloe, lies and deceit and her relationship with Frank all aside. Chloe stops the storm, because at the base of it Rachel and Chloe’s relationship is, and I quote, “intense” and “awesome” even within the first day of truly talking to one another. At the end of it all, Chloe was the only person who truly understood Rachel, even though there was a lot she didn’t know about her. And Chloe was the only person Rachel truly felt she could be herself around - not the multi-faceted enigma that is ‘Rachel Amber’. Sure, Rachel does deceive and allure people to get ahead. But I believe Rachel is ashamed of that side of her yet so desperate for change in her life she cannot stop her instinct to do so, and this is why she keeps so much of herself hidden from Chloe, to discover in Life is Strange.

So, all in all:

- Rachel has weather powers controlled (or rather, not) through her (negative? We’ve yet to see a positive use) emotions. - Rachel’s emotions manifest in the form of the storm featured in LiS. - Chloe’s death was not predetermined or destined, but the only thing that could stop the storm because of Rachel’s feelings and trust for Chloe.

Also, final point. I have no damn clue who that the Lady in White is, but I’m not sure we should be reading a whole lot into it. It’s possible, yeah, that she’s some magical woman who orchestrated both LiS games. After all, why does Max get time travel powers only to learn she can change nothing with them? Why does Rachel have her powers in the first place? It’s possible its this woman, but I’m not convinced.

OK I’m gunna go read AmberPrice fanfiction now

#life is strange theory #life is strange before the storm #life is strange before the storm episode one #life is strange before the storm spoilers #life is strange spoilers #life is strange before the storm episode one spoilers

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norman-reedus-gossip · 8 years ago

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Last Bulk and its a long one

~~mod~~ everything else concerning this topic will be kicked to the modblog. ill try to add to the comments today. i feel like i got ran over so i may not be on at all. sorry for slacking on you and for probably being a world class asshole today. please keep it medium.

Anon: What kind of woman ALLOWS “her boyfriend” to make her hideout so she’s not seen with him? What kind of man DOES that? Be happy for them all you want. I think they look and act like morons. As “adorable ” as people think he is , he seems lately like a total douchebag. Good thing all the fucking booze he consumes gives him the balls to “allow” her be photographed with him. And how fucking desperate does one have to be to let themselves be treated like that? Typical Hollywood. I give this a week.

Anon:Okay, NOW do you think he will make an announcement on Jimmy Fallon about DK? Or that Jimmy will mention it? ~~mod~~ dont know dont care. as long as we get some couch action im good.

Anon:No new stories talk about the trip to italy right before dk dumped pacey. They dont talk about how long nr knew pacey before sky. Wonder how much that cost

Anon:I’m so sad mod….. 😢 Twd’s cast are finally coming to my country and i thinks that is very hard for they bring Norman because he is very expensive…. I mean, Norman is so rich, why he charge that much??! 😢😢 (Sorry for the english) ~~mod~~ aww maybe its not the money but more if he has time. where are they coming? you english is awesome

ahauntedfool: My two cents. I feel badly for disappointed fans who have invested so much time, energy, and possibly even money, on their beloved celebrity, only to see him acting in a way they do not agree with. That must be very hard for them. Maybe I can offer some hope and positivity?I believe no two relationships are alike, and none are black and white. Who really knows everything about their relationship besides them? But it does seem like they are together, and if that is the case I hope they make each other happy. I truly mean that. Love is not something we can plan for, but life is short and happiness is everything. I am still a fan of N, I enjoy many of his films and photographs, his charisma is pleasing, he makes me laugh and he makes me smile. There are some things I don’t like about him, but that’s how it is with people. We are all complex and flawed individuals, and in our imperfections there is beauty. I don’t know much about D yet, but I think I’ll check out her work, watch a few of her films and read some interviews. Maybe I’ll learn something about her that inspires me in some way. With that being said, I think they are an attractive couple, and I love seeing him smile like that. They appear happy in those photos and I hope they are. Maybe this relationship will be good for both of them. Oftentimes we learn from our partners how to be better people.

Anon: Wait for the other shoe to drop on fallon, the baby shoe, lol. He has an extra 0 on his paycheck now, so dk can stay in ny and give up her career while nk goes to ga and cons to keep her in designer duds and pap shots shopping and fashion shows. She can laugh with jdms wife about ppl who pay $$$$ to wait in line for a pic, and we get crappy cgi on twd ~~mod~~ come on the deer really wasnt that bad, if you squint it almost looked real

awesomebrokenheartuniverse: What the fucking fuck??? This is beyond baffling. The public make out session. Even as a teenager I didn’t make out on the street for 30 min. They clearly wanted to be seen. Have we been fooled by NR with some fake persona all these years? Has he drastically changed due to DKs influence? Is he whipped? Is he tired of keeping it a secret and overjoyed to let it all hang out? Does she have dirt on him and forcing this on him (sounds crazy but ya never know)? Is this a juvenile shit show for publicity to benefit both of them? So many questions! Maybe it’s not our business but when they flaunt themselves like this they are kinda asking for it. This is like reality show in your face over the top attention whoring. I feel embarrassed for them. At least she is age appropriate. I don’t know a lot about DK, but the opinions here are largely unfavorable. JJ seems like a decent guy. Why would he stick with her 10 yrs if she’s such bad news? I keep remembering a quote from AL where he said something like “the longer I know N, the more he is an enigma.” NR seems totally all over the place to me right now.

Anon: There’s a video of them kissing now. ~~mod~~ ok

Anon: Hey mod! Sorry to keep adding to this but I’m SO aggravated. Now she’s acting like CS posting pics from his apartment. An her fans are saying to stop bringing up Norman an respect her privacy to people. She doesn’t want privacy! Hence the photo! An the photos taken of them on the street the other night for a hour. If I’m w/ my bf I dont stop and post on SM things from his house. She wants everyone to know she finally got Norman. When will this “relationship” end 😭 personally he deserves better

Anon: Why would Norman be so open about his relationship? This PDA doesn’t fit to him, he never showed so much of his relationship, making out on the street, like in the video it looks like they were making a show. They just stood in the same street walked around kissed hugged just to make a show for the pap, my guess they called him, don’t know why

Anon: Re: the “lie.” Doesn’t it look like Norman’s reps said “friends” because of JJ? Timeline: Pic of Norman and DK at the car looking friendly with story about vacation. Rep said “friends.” Weeks later: picture of JJ kissing and snuggling with another woman at a restaurant. Stories: He’s moved on!! Two - three days later, Norman/DK are completely public. The “lie” was so JJ could say he moved on first. It had nothing to do with manipulating Norman’s fans. Anon: Daily mail has just released an article on NR and DK confirming their relationship and they’ve got a few new pics in there and in one of them NR is looking directly at the camera. I guess we know for sure it was planned and a bit staged now.

Anon: Mod - this was an absolute publicity stunt but I don’t understand why. It makes him look like the biggest possible lying fake asshole alive so why would he want that image? I’m secretly hoping this is some kind of early April Fools day joke.

Anon: Mod when do you think NR and DK became more than just friends? ~~ mod~~ would you be offended if i said i have no idea becasue i dont care enough about them as a couple to even guess. sorry if i sound like a jerk im still not feeling well

Anon: I hope Norman doesn’t think we’re just going to “get over it”? It doesn’t work that way. There is a difference between lying about who you ARE and just simply having a girlfriend. (I won’t even go into how fake SHE is) You Lied to the people that supported you Norman. This isn’t just jealous fangirls. This doesn’t just go away in a few weeks.~~mod~~ im sure he knows it isnt just gonna go away in a few days

Anon: Woke up today with tears in my eyes. Every day I used to go check out all he cool Norman/Daryl fan art on instagram. Now I can’t even look at him.~~mod~~ dont cry anon we can find you someone else to look at.

Jan: Listen up To those deeply upset and disturbed by Norman’s recent actions, please read this - Nothing in your life has actually changes NOTHING! You still breath the same air, work at the same place, hang with the same friends and are surrounded by people that love and care about you in REAL LIFE. You have never, nor will you ever, know the real man behind Norman Reeds and thats probably for the best. All that has happened is that the fantasy you have of him in your head is altered, but you have the power and control to change that narrative back at any point, back to thinking he is kind and sweet and honourable and all the other things that gave you comfort and joy, use him for whatever purpose you want - because I have news for you as a fan/consumer of his brand he is just USING you. He is clever, he will smile and be nice as pie if you are paying for his time, (he is a professional actor), what he is actually like once the show is over, behind closed doors, is probably a very different story that really would shock and upset you. He is part of an ugly dark industry and his values are probably way off the mark to what any of us would consider acceptable. The clues are all around us, the fake hollywood friends he has, the partying showbiz life he leads, his love of attention and the limelight, the blind after blind about his shitty behaviour. It does upset me to see people defending him with the best of intentions, when they have no clue that he doesn’t deserve defending, he is surrounded by wealth and privilege and I highly doubt he cares one bit what faceless avatars on the internet say about him when he is home surrounded by his millions of dollars and fake narcissistic hollywood friends. Me, I love Daryl and I will always love Daryl, he is a real sweetheart and the subject of many a fantasy, Norman not so much, I could never fantasise about someone like him -a shallow and highly privileged actor who can have any beautiful woman he desires at the drop of a hat, and knows it. His priorities are clearly material things, this set up relationship with DK that will be played out in the public eye will just be linked to and part of that agenda in some weird way…(I do have my theories as to why he is so keen to play along with it, but best kept to myself) So seriously people go back to your Daryl (or nice sweet Norman) fantasises… Whatever helps you sleep at night…

Anon: You know what’s even worse than finding out he’s a lying sneaking jerk? That he let her troll his fandom for the whole year. He let us try to defend him the whole time when it was all true. It just shows that his fans don’t really mean anything to him. He didn’t care that she was playing with us and mocking us. It’s just so unbelievable that he is the complete opposite of what he made us believe.

Anon: sorry but I feel betrayed. And before I get jumped on it’s not jealousy or that he can’t have a private life, it’s about thinking one thing about Norman and admiring that person for so long then suddenly finding out that it was all a lie. He made us think that he was our friend but he’s not. he’s laughing at us behind the scenes watching how we buy into the image that he made us think was the real him. it’s not him now. he’s a phony. anyone want walker stalker tickets? don’t want to meet him now ~~mod~~ no need to be sorry anon lots of people are feeling all kinds of way right now. i hear craiglist is a great place to sell those

Anon: God Mod it just breaks my heart to see how fake he looks. Allowing himself to be papped is something I never thought he would do. I admired Norman for being down to earth and real. Where is that man now? He’s gone. He sold out. He’s not who he claims to be. Honest? Lol nope. So this is the real Norman we have been tricked into supporting? He looks just as fake as we know she is. It’s so sad and disheartening and I never thought it would happen to him. He’s just like all the rest. :( So sad.

Anon: Wonder how this will work when he starts filming in May will she go to Georgia she doesn’t seem the country girl

Anon: Mod why do think NR’s reps have the statements that they were “just friends” 3 weeks ago only for them to walk done the street holding hands and kissing now? Do you think NR’s reps didn’t know about the relationship? Or he didn’t consult with them before going public? Or do you think it was all planned? I’m just really confused about the whole thing!

Anon: Sorry…this is a long one… People seem to focus on others being upset because he lied. But I think a lot of people are upset for 2 main reasons. One, they really don’t like DK. It is hard to swallow watching someone you like, date someone you hate. I had a good guy friend date a girl that the rest of us LOATHED. She was just a horrible person and we were all so disappointed when he started dating her. When we asked him why, he just replied, “well, she is not like that towards me”. Um..ok…so since she’s “nice” to you, it’s ok that she is a a-hole to everyone else? It lasted all of 4 months, but I just remember we were all so disgusted. So, anyway, I think that plays a big part in the fan hate. Fans love Norman and think he is wonderful/nice/kind/good to his friends and fans and they can’t understand how he could fall for someone who is the opposite of all those things. The second reason is the cheating. Let’s face it, this didn’t start AFTER she split from JJ. We would be naive to believe that. Personally, I think it started during the filming of SKY. They are together constantly, in the middle of nowhere, I am sure they got very close. Even if there was nothing physical, they could have been having an emotional affair…which is often worse than physical. Although we can argue that with his schedule and her being with JJ, they didn’t actually see each other a lot after filming SKY was over, they still could have been texting and calling, thereby continuing the connection and closeness that was formed during filming. Looking back, I can’t help but wonder if someone DID see them hooking up in a NYC bar (before the break-up with JJ). If they did in fact have an emotional connection, add a lot of alcohol to that and you can definitely lose control for a minute. Obviously, this is my own speculation, but no matter when the physical aspect of their relationship developed, I truly believe, the affair started long before it. As for the people talking about a possible pregnancy. I can see it. Even though Norman is pushing 50 and may not want a baby, as some people pointed out, it may not be up to him. There are many ways for a woman to “accidentally” get pregnant. Someone, I think it was PR wife, mentioned that DK’s star faded long ago. She is definitely someone who will do anything to bring attention to herself. Well, having NR’s baby would certainly bring the spot light. It may be far fetched but I think DK is really sketchy and I would not put it past her. I guess only time will tell if there is a baby as well as how long this thing will last. We shall see…

Anon:I gave a heads up months ago that Diane had a plan and that she and Norman were playing out a fantasy as if they were living their film “Sky”. Health issues included. But guess what comes next (not the end) ;)

Stephanie Kumke: Maybe it´s not DK in the photo, but come on, a naked bully with lights on it with the message “ Waking up to good News”… ~~mod~~ maybe she got a job that wasnt in Europe

Anon: Ya’ll need to be realistic. Daryl isn’t the cash cow of TWD anymore. Not sure if no one sees this but the ratings last week dropped. Why weren’t they higher? I mean Daryl was in it a lot yet they weren’t as good as the week before. I’ve noticed whenever Carol and the Kingdom are on the ratings go up. Seems like she’s more of a cash cow now. She makes more viewers tune in. So I really don’t get when people say Daryl is the No 1 cash cow. It’s not true. It may have been years back, but not anymore

Anon: It disgusts the shit out of me when I see people support their relationship and are happy and even say DK is gorgeous. Wtf NOTHING on this woman is gorgeous. She’s manipulative, attention whore and snobby. I can’t believe his fans (not all of them) support her. She’s the worst nightmare. Norman went down to her level. She is unsympathetic to fans, Norman clearly isn’t the man he claimed to be. Not sure if I’m more disappointed or disgusted because he played all of us the whole time for his image

Anon: I think some people are not getting it…NR didnt own anyone anything but he was not coherent and yeah he deceived and lied when he said he doesn’t like cheaters and loves honest people. Regardless of course he have the right to date who the fuck he wants. not my problem. now the way he did it, for someone that calls himself honest is very questionable when you can see CLEARLY how this pics were staged. When you stage pics like that and you claimed for years being the opposite of course people are going to question who you are and who was the person they have been a fan off all this years. People defended him exactly from this behavior. People defended him when people called him sell out and asshole and manwhore and honestly he just proves the others right. This have nothing to do with DK this have to do with him as a person and how he carries himself. He didnt assume her before because he was sticking his dick somewhere else too and the other kick him to the curb.

dandelioncherokee : Interesting. Norman and Diane are not looking AT EACH OTHER in one single picture. A loving couple would do that ALL THE TIME. One word. FAKE. I honestly haven’t got a clue WHY ALL THIS. Oh Norman,you had it going all good for you.Now I can only pray that the universe will give you another chance,so you can try to fix this. Kisses to you,mod ❤️hope you are alright.~~mod~~ i feel like i got kicked down 10 flights of stairs.. you flirting makes me feel better

Anon: I was just thinking about the happy anniversary post and the ‘comment’. Turns out the DK part of that was true and it makes me wonder how many of the other parts were also true. Maya Angelo said when people show you who they are, believe them the first time. Eyes opened, I get it now and I’m just here for wicked gifs, and weird banter. Good things always come from bad, you’re the good thing Mod.

Anon: Pic look good, his fans on ig congrat to him so lol. Congrat to him too. We know here it so far from jealous but it is about who is this guy. Why he won’t hint their relationship at all.jdm said I think he’s single. So he happy it’s foiod but it different story from why he lid like liar, completely behave another and then be another man. And I didn’t see any pic that he look at her face. He smile to ppl. Wake up idiot fans! ~~mod~~ Please dont call fans idiots we all have our opinion

Anon: Another blog says they KNOW that Norman and DK were a thing since Sky. They supposedly have a source but won’t reveal it, they’re also saying no one knows if cheating was involved because no one knows the status of DK and JJ’ relationship. DK moved to NYC in late 2015 to be with JJ AFTER sky was finished. They bought a home together in LA in early 2016. So if her “source” is correct than yes, they were cheating all along, which makes the dec 2015 rumor seem not so false. They’re disgusting

Anon: Who knows…Maybe they both have an agreement? Maybe he agreed to help her with her image by doing this. He may think what’s the harm in helping a friend?? I am soooooo not on her side…I’m just trying to ration it out. Unfortunately we may never know. I still haven’t seen pics of them full on kissing. That one pic where they’re close looks like he was lighting a smoke. Hand holding? Even friends do that. He seemed pretty drunk anyway. Ugh and her IG? Tries to be like N & HC. UMM no.

Anon: Thinking if the 2 of them together makes me so ill but hey…He’s a big boy. I’ve been going thru the stages of grief (as stupid as that may sound) and I don’t regret smashing my DVD copy of Sky! Didn’t much like it anyway lol now I’m past the anger and just sad. I’m not as mad at N as I was a few days ago but I still think DK is a snake. I hope that he guards his heart from her nasty ways! I also think the whole thing with the paps is strange. N is very impulsive and sometimes too too nice!

Anon:Hahaha I share the same first name as DK, so at least I know when Norman is having sex he is screaming my name. Seriously tho at least she is age appropriate and who cares anyway. You are a fan of his work or not no matter who he is boning.

Anon:Is it me or is Norman avoiding liking DK IG posts? I believe he may have been drunk that night and is regretting what he did

rebellacycle:Are you going to watch jimmy Fallon tonight ? Wonder if he will talk about the new relationship. Or just TWD~~mod~~ i will probaly be asleep. probaly just talk about he twd

Anon:

Norman and Diane are happy and in love so the haters have already lost ✌🏼

Anon:

I have a question for those fans who keep saying things like “Be respectful of Norman’s private life!”…. But they’re the ones who are (unnecessarily!) publicizing it. They staged and sold pics and video. In PDA, the P doesn’t stand for Private. If they are not respecting their own relationship, why should we? Also is talking about Norman’s penis size respecting his privacy? So what exactly do y'all mean? They don’t seem to want that. They want people to talk, comment, click the links.

Anon

:Feel better soon Mod! I don’t understand something about the whole DK Shitshow. If this is legit (and not just publicity) then how come no other gossip sites are picking it up??? TMZ doesn’t have anything to say about it after they just ran the garage pics/got his denial?? It looks like People ENews DM UsWeekly and a few less known sites are the only ones going with it, so how come??? I don’t get it! I don’t understand how Norman can be one thing one day and the TOTAL OPPOSITE the next!??! WTAF

Anon: The photos and the video of NR and DK … Looking at it I just feel DK is walking with his trophy. She wants everybody to see her new toy, her little puppy that she will manipulate as she pleases. DK wants everyone to see his new trophy !! While NR smiles like a fool who does not understand the situation. Yes he became the DK puppet

anon:

I appreciate this blog and your work, but you have to moderate some comments that appear on your site. I read comments accusing Norman of lust after teenage girls. This is defamation and it is very serious. It is unbearable to see all this hate and these lies dumped on an actor we have supposed to love. It is all the more intolerable that currently the world is experiencing serious problems. Thousands of people are dying of hunger, London and Paris are the target of terrorists, but some people prefer to waste their time to dumped their hate on Norman. Treat him as if he was a criminal just because he’s in love and he lied because he didn’t want to reveal his private life in the press.I doubt that you post this message on your blog but I needed to say. Many of us live very difficult moments and see all this hate for a simple relationship is ridiculous. Some may express their disappointment but have no right to invent lies and spill their hatred. Sorry for my aproximative English, I hope to find a warm and funny blog. Good luck to you Mod….

~~mod~~ just a few things. 1.tumblr rarely lets me delete comments, the tumblr app hates me…2. the quickest way to get your post deleted is to say “you probaly wont post this”.. i hate that.

Anon:Hope you feel better soon mod. This is for when you do the bulk: at this point I think I’d be happier finding out he did accidentally get her pregnant one drunken night but actually can’t stand her and did this for appearances only and they aren’t really a thing. At least that way he would be the same guy who just made one huge mistake while intoxicated. One night stands happen all the time. But being with her?? it changes everything about him and it makes him a liar.

Anon:

been two days I haven’t looked at anything to do with N and I still can’t get over this. He’s a complete fake. short of telling us he was abducted by aliens and this was an imposter in his body I will never understand. ’s like he just revealed that he is the opposite of everything he made people believe for the past seven years. Liar. Fake. Hollywood. Stupid. Ingenuine. That’s what this makes him look like now. It makes me want to cry. someone say it was all a nightmare. where’s the real norman

Anon

:Happy Today, Mod! I hope your body parts will all in good working order soon. Please take care of yourself. The drama of Norman Reedus means nothing in the long run. Kind people like you who take the time to create community are what matters!

Anon:If DK’s marrage broke down because she cheating then norman gotta run far and fast, they cheat WITH you they cheat ON you. You should look at enty and type in Norman reedus/Diane Kruger this shit been stirring for a while Anon:Will Jimmy Fallon grill Norman about DK? ~~mod~~ dont know

Anon

:Have you seen the pap walk pics & videos?? Omg I’ll swear DK slipped a Mickey Finn in Norman’s whiskey. For him to agree to call the paps on himself, something was totally wrong with him! I don’t recognize that Norman. DK is destructive & opportunistic. She manipulated her way into his life from day one when she recommended him for the SKY role. She is as TOXIC as they come! Wtf’s he doing with her? He’s in self-destructive mode, I pray he comes to his senses in Ga surrounded by good ppl.

Anon:Diane manipulates the media and manipulates Norman. An avid woman who likes to manipulate her little world. How can people defend it? I saw her in truth, she behaves like a haughty princess.

Anon:I no longer see goodness in Norman.

Anon

:Just canceled my trip to San Fran wsc. I was gonna meet him but I can’t even look at him nevermind meet him. How are we supposed to pretend he’s the same guy? He’s NOT what he told us he was! It’s NOT bc of a gf but 1) that it’s HER of all ppl (she is the epitome of famewhore sell out and no one I’ve talked to who met her have ANYTHING nice to say) and 2) He LIED about everything. He’s not any of the things we thought, made his reps look stupid and sold out to let himself be papped. WTF is that

anon

: Personally I’m wondering if she got him drunk, got him to agree to this to make the rumors look true, and that he was too wasted to care. This is NOT the guy we know and love. This is also coming from a mutual friend of his not just some fan. he never calls the media, like TMZ on himself. He’s a private, fairly normal dude, and that’s why I think DK set it up. To boost her American publicity and get noticed for work here. Sad, sick, and sketchy.

Anon: I’m definitely over reading about it Mod but I don’t understand how anything is gonna go back to the way it was anyway so I vote to keep it on the main blog. He’s a lying jerk and this is what we have to see now every day because how can we not if he’s seriously with her. I think I’m gonna have to quit being his fan altogether bc I can’t take her I don’t want to see her ridiculous face every single time he goes anywhere ~~mod~~ here the thing its an N blog, i dont have to post anything with her in it. im really good at cropping things out of pics.

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perspectivepodcast · 6 years ago

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[Transcript] Side A: Climate Change

This episode was inspired by a conversation with a dear friend, Ajla. Because sometimes the best thoughts are only found thanks to the help of someone who’ll have enough love to rummage through the garbage in your mind and believe they’ll find something meaningful much more than you ever will.

In 1973, Dr. William Rathje, archaeologist and professor of anthropology at the University of Arizona, instituted the Tucson Garbage Project, also referred to as the ‘garbology project’. This was an archaeological and sociological study, carried on in the city of Tucson, Arizona, with the aim of examining the contents of Tucson residents' waste to examine patterns of consumption.

The funny thing was that although many residents volunteered to contribute to the project by sharing their consumption habits, the study made clear that the information shared by the participants were oftentimes not consistent with the quantitative data analyzed from the waste bins. For example, when asked about the number of beers they usually drank, participants tended to self-report more restrained alcohol consumption habits than their actual behavior. That is, if they had declared they drank two beers per week, it wasn’t rare that ten beers were found in the garbage every week.

Is it possible that throwing our waste away can be more similar to hiding what we ourselves don’t want to see about ourselves?

When I first found out about this project, it reminded me of a passage of Don DeLillo’s novel White Noise.

‘No one was around. I walked across the kitchen, opened the compactor drawer and looked inside the trash bag. An oozing cube of semi-mingled cans, clothes hangers, animal bones and other refuse. The bottles were broken, the cartons flat. Product colors were undiminished in brightness and intensity. Fats, juices and heavy sludges seeped through layers of pressed vegetable matter. I felt like an archaeologist about to sift through a finding of tool fragments and assorted cave trash. It was about ten days since Denise had compacted the Dylar. That particular round of garbage had almost certainly been taken outside and collected by now. Even if it hadn’t, the tablets had surely been demolished by the compactor ram.

These facts were helpful in my efforts to believe that I was merely passing time, casually thumbing through the garbage.

I unfolded the bag cuffs, released the latch and lifted out the bag. The full stench hit me with shocking force. Was this ours? Did it belong to us? Had we created it? I took the bag out to the garage and emptied it. The compressed bulk sat there like an ironic modern sculpture, massive, squat, mocking. I jabbed at it with the butt end of a rake and then spread the material over the concrete floor. I picked through it item by item, mass by shapeless mass, wondering why I felt guilty, a violator of privacy, uncovering intimate and perhaps shameful secrets. It was hard not to be distracted by some of the things they’d chosen to submit to the Juggernaut appliance. But why did I feel like a household spy? Is garbage so private? Does it glow at the core with personal heat, with signs of one’s deepest nature, clues to secret yearnings, humiliating flaws? What habits, fetishes, addictions, inclinations? What solitary acts, behavioral ruts? I found crayon drawings of a figure with full breasts and male genitals. There was a long piece of twine that contained a series of knots and loops. It seemed at first a random construction. Looking more closely I thought I detected a complex relationship between the size of the loops, the degree of the knots (single or double) and the intervals between knots with loops and freestanding knots. Some kind of occult geometry or symbolic festoon of obsessions. I found a banana skin with a tampon inside. Was this the dark underside of consumer consciousness?’

Sometimes I wonder: we are a consumer society, therefore our social ambition is to produce only with the aim of consuming what we produce. Does this mean that one day, when our consumer society will thankfully be over and done with, there will be no remnant of our time, of our society, apart from the waste we left behind? Will we be the ones who created nothing but refuse, who couldn’t create anything for the sake of creating something that would outlive us, and maybe speak about us and what we wanted to be remembered for?

One of the reasons why garbology in general, and the Tucson Garbage Project specifically, are a major source of information on the nature and changing patterns of human society, is because for those populations that did not leave any buildings, or writing, or tombs, or trade goods, or pottery, refuse and trash are likely to be the only possible sources of information.

Is it possible that waste, our symbolic festoon of obsessions, be they more or less toxic, will be the only contribution, the only sign of our existence that we will leave for the future? Do we really care in the least about what we leave as a sign of our passage on this planet?

It’s tempting to believe that death could be something spectacular. Funeral pyres, ship burials, fireworks. But that’s rarely how it is. Most often, it’s just a slow, gradual, unpleasant and unremarkable gnawing of all that is life. An unobtrusive agony. A forgetting, piece after piece after piece. A consumption. (The irony.)

I went out the other day and it was mid-February, in the Northern hemisphere. It was almost 20°C. It was beautiful. It was disturbing.

In another passage of White Noise, after a deadly toxic gas had leaked over the town the main character lives in, the sunsets became unnaturally spectacular.

‘We stopped on the parkway overpass and got out to look at the sunset. Ever since the airborne toxic event, the sunsets had become almost unbearably beautiful. Not that there was a measurable connection. If the special character of Nyodene Derivative (added to the everyday drift of effluents, pollutants, contaminants and deliriants) had caused this aesthetic leap from already brilliant sunsets to broad towering ruddled visionary skyscapes, tinged with dread, no one had been able to prove it.’

Later in the novel, the main character describes how gathering on the overpass to watch these newly dramatic sunsets had become a sort of ritual for the people of the town.

‘We go to the overpass all the time. Babette, Wilder and I. We take a thermos of iced tea, park the car, watch the setting sun. Clouds are no deterrent. Clouds intensify the drama, trap and shape the light. Heavy overcasts have little effect. Light bursts through, tracers and smoky arcs. Overcasts enhance the mood. We find little to say to each other. More cars arrive, parking in a line that extends down to the residential zone. People walk up the incline and onto the overpass, carrying fruit and nuts, cool drinks, mainly the middle-aged, the elderly, some with webbed beach chairs which they set out on the sidewalk, but younger couples also, arm in arm at the rail, looking west. The sky takes on content, feeling, and exalted narrative life. The bands of color reach so high, seem at times to separate into their constituent parts. There are turreted skies, light storms, softly falling streamers. It is hard to know how we should feel about this. Some people are scared by the sunsets, some determined to be elated, but most of us don’t know how to feel, are ready to go either way. Rain is no deterrent. Rain brings on graded displays, wonderful running hues. More cars arrive, people come trudging up the incline. The spirit of these warm evenings is hard to describe. There is anticipation in the air but it is not the expectant midsummer hum of a shirtsleeve crowd, a sandlot game, with coherent precedents, a history of secure response. This waiting is introverted, uneven, almost backward and shy, tending toward silence. What else do we feel? Certainly there is awe, it is all awe, it transcends previous categories of awe, but we don’t know whether we are watching in wonder or dread, we don’t know what we are watching or what it means, we don’t know whether it is permanent, a level of experience to which we will gradually adjust, into which our uncertainty will eventually be absorbed, or just some atmospheric weirdness, soon to pass. The collapsible chairs are yanked open, the old people sit. What is there to say? The sunsets linger and so do we. The sky is under a spell, powerful and storied. Now and then a car actually crosses the overpass, moving slowly, deferentially. People keep coming up the incline, some in wheelchairs, twisted by disease, those who attend them bending low to push against the grade. I didn’t know how many handicapped and helpless people there were in town until the warm nights brought crowds to the overpass. Cars speed beneath us, coming from the west, from out of the towering light, and we watch them as if for a sign, as if they carry on their painted surfaces some residue of the sunset, a barely detectable luster or film of telltale dust. No one plays a radio or speaks in a voice that is much above a whisper. Something golden falls, a softness delivered to the air. There are people walking dogs, there are kids on bikes, a man with a camera and long lens, waiting for his moment. It is not until some time after dark has fallen, the insects screaming in the heat, that we slowly begin to disperse, shyly, politely, car after car, restored to our separate and defensible selves.’

Perhaps, when the archaeologists of the future will rummage in the garbage we will have left behind to give some sign of what it was to live the way we lived, what they’ll find is that we were just too overwhelmed to do or know or feel anything. Too lost to understand, or even just to listen.

A couple of years ago, I saw this work from the Japanese artist Shimabuku. The title was The Snow Monkeys of Texas, and this was the artist’s statement:

‘When I visited the monkey mountain in Kyoto in 1992, I heard an interesting story. In 1972, a group of Japanese snow monkeys were brought from the mountains of Kyoto to a Texas desert. The first year, their numbers reduced dramatically. They didn’t know how to live in the desert with cactus, cougars or rattlesnakes. But in the second year, their population grew. Do monkeys adapt to new environments faster than people do? I wanted to go and meet them someday. In 2016, I finally visited them in Texas. I saw that they looked a bit Americanized, somehow. They are a bit bigger, and started to eat cactus. Now they know how to deal with the cougars and rattlesnakes. They have a new language to alert each other. When I spent few days with them under the Texan sun, I decided to make a mountain with ice for them. I filled a car full of ice bags. And I wondered, do they remember snow mountains?’

The video installation showed this group of snow monkeys observing and smelling and touching and playing and sitting on the ice for the first time. I believe it is important to note that the snow monkeys had been sent to Texas in 1972 due to habitat loss around Kyoto, that is when the monkeys became pests to businesses and residents of Kyoto, perforating the barrier between wild and urban spaces.

‘They come one by one. Some monkeys wanted to keep the ice to themselves, then they got bored,’ Shimabuku observed of the 22-minute video. ‘Some shared. Some were bossy […] like people.’ The snow became a forbidden fruit with many monkeys grabbing a handful and running off. But most of them nervously nibbled nearby with a shifting gaze. ‘I didn’t expect them to eat it. [In Japan] they eat flowers, trees and insects. But it is new for them to eat rattlesnake and cactus.’ When asked why it was important to test if monkeys remembered their place of origin, Shimabuku laughed and said, ‘maybe it is not important. Memory is a bridge between animals and people. […] Memory can be at a cellular level. The monkeys looked at the ice and they grabbed it. Some hadn’t seen ice for generations, and still they reacted spontaneously,’ noted Shimabuku.

I wonder if we already are Shumabuku’s snow monkeys, struggling to remember how we were supposed to live after alienating ourselves from ourselves, not knowing what to do, what to know, what to feel in the face of our own nature, a nature we only reluctantly admit to belong to.

Perhaps, the answers already are in the festoon of obsessions we are so careful to hide away in the dumps. If we were brave enough, if we had love enough to go and rummage in the garbage of our civilization believing we could find something meaningful in there, something deserving to be saved, perhaps we could find one good thought to build a future on.

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