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wolfcha1k · 3 years

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Fear Has No Sense, a Fanfic

"What if they're not what I expected?" Ratchet asked her, propping his fist on his chin, contemplating the question once again.

Rivet leaned back on her palms before casting him a little look. "Well, was I what you expected?"

Ratchet has some unfinished questions he needs to get off his chest, who better to understand than his other half of the rift?

Author's Note: Important note, only thing I know about this series is Rift Apart, so kept my horizons very small for this story. Just was a little plot bunny that was nagging me, so I spewed it out. I'm hoping its not too sappy or ends too abruptly, stuff like that, as well as the whole "plz sound like you guys are in character" thing. Lemme know what you think, I love feedback.

She found him sitting on top of his ship outside a good distance away, seeming lost in thought. There was a celebration to be had, it wasn't everyday you saved two worlds and many more in what felt like a few short days. It'd been suspicious when Ratchet had wandered off, passed the fan fair and practically evaporated from the scene. She thought him to be a guy who loved a good party.

If you had asked Rivet she would have thought he'd used that Dimensionator to scurry off somewhere.

But thankfully he hadn't, she was rather done with dimension chasing for a while. Now she just wanted to relax and digest the peace she never thought she could have ever lived to see. It'd cost her an arm quite literally but within her bones she knew she would sacrifice it again to know the world was safe.

She put a hand on her hip, hesitant on interrupting what seemed to be a private moment. Music played muffled behind them from the celebration being had, far too peppy for the mood he seemed to be in. He didn't look sad persay, merely deep and lost in his thoughts, whatever they might be they were clearly making him chase his own tail in circles.

Taking a courageous breath, she took the plunge into the metaphorical rip tide. "Hey!"

His orange head turned to look at her, slowly blinking at her once the surprise wore off. "Oh, uh, hey." The moonlight made Rivet's fur burn silver.

"Yeah, uh, hi." Smooth, she told herself with a strained grin, waving a hand as she gestured at the space next to him. "Mind if I join you?"

"Sure, knock yourself out," Ratchet replied, shuffling away to make room. Rivet began to climb up, jumping onto the ship to sit down beside him.

Neither said anything, just exchanged a quick smile before glancing away to look at something else. She sometimes wondered how they could both have seamless and awkward conversations all at once. It wasn't like either of them were shy people, so what was it? They were pretty familiar with each other now too, unlike back at their first face to face introduction at Zurkie’s.

Instead of lingering on the nagging thought and joining Ratchet in his wandering mind, she spoke. "Nice night, huh?"

"Yeah, it's great to look at the stars and not see time and space tearing apart for once," he mused, jokingly as he recalled their adventure.

"Yeah, it's a major bummer when the dimensions collapsing on themselves ruins a good full moon," she joked back, smiling.

"Ugh, tell me about it." He shuffled his weight to get more comfortable, drawing his knee up. "I'm not complaining about retirement again anytime soon. Meeting you and Kit was a nice compensation though."

"Are you saying that because you like my company or because I'm another Lombax?" She copied his casual posture a moment, tipping her head to the side coyly.

"Uh… both?" He scratched the fur at his neck absently, shrugging a shoulder. "I don't know, I think I'd still like you even if you were a three eyed frog."

She gave him a look, amused. "You would make for an odd three eyed frog since we gotta match and all, so good thing you and me are Lombaxes."

"Yeah, yeah," he scoffed, large ears flat as he suppressed a snort. "Either way… it's nice not being, yanno, alone."

"Alone is something I know all too well," she told him with empathy highlighting her face and words. Of course, her loneliness had been different from what she imagined his to be like. He gave her a sympathetic look, the starlight reflecting in his gaze. "I never thought I'd actually meet someone like me… uh you?” She made something of a comical face. “It’s a bit over–”

“It's a bit overwhelming, huh?” Ratchet grinned at her when he realized they’d jinxed each other yet again. He suppressed a chuckle best he could but it was all for naught. “I think I owe you a lot of sodas at this point, sorry.”

“I could use the sugar so I’ll take you up on that offer, it's fine,” she joked, rolling her eyes with a huff. “Anyway, It’s been an adjustment period, yeah,” she replied with a sheepish look, grasping her palms together to distract herself. “My first impression wasn’t the most brilliant.”

“At least you knew how to say hi at all,” he teased her. “I didn’t peg you as the shy type.”

“Hey, neither did you!” She started in a firmer tone before it broke off into a more trickling voice. ”I don’t think I would have been able to break the ice if I didn’t have Clank,” she admitted, lifting her palm to scrub it down the back of her neck, embarrassed.

Ratchet still looked at her with a mixture of amusement and fondness. “Am I really that scary?”

“Depends how you define scary,” Rivet replied, giving him something of a knowing look that suddenly made him uncomfortable. She decided now was as good a moment as any, curious of just why he was out here. “So… uh, I’m not the best at this but…”

He sighed, already knowing what was coming when his smile came back in a more somber fashion. “My head won’t shut up,” Ratchet told her, not bothering to deny anything.

“Well, there is a really smart mouth attached to it.”

“Har, har, har, you’re funny,” he quipped, nudging her with a childish huff and pout. “I know I promised our pit stop but–”

“Is this about the other Lombaxes?” She was never one to beat around the bush, always direct, somethings ruthlessly so. Her words weren’t spoken harshly though, a gentle inflection to the question.

“Ah, sorta?” Rivet arched a brow at him in a telltale manner that made him doubletake his answer, backpedaling. “Okay, maybe a lot sorta.”

“You wanna elaborate?” She encouraged him, cocking her head with a curious blink of her intelligent eyes.

There was a pause, Ratchet taking the moment to figure out what he wanted to say. Rivet was patient, shifting between focusing on the intense frown of his brows to the matching frown on his lips. He eventually took in a breath and faced her.

“What if they’re not what I expected?” He asked her, propping his fist on his chin, contemplating the question once again. His eyes looked at the starry expanse of sky, endlessly stretching farther than the mind could imagine.

She leaned back on the back of her palms before casting him a little look. “Well, was I what you expected?” The words were laced in good humor and she grinned once she saw his startled face.

He wasn’t expecting that, big eyes round as an owl before he gave a grin of his own. Rivet was relieved to see it there, melancholy didn’t do justice to his face. “No, actually, you weren’t.” The words were honest but hardly negative, some warmth tingling them.

“I’ll assume that’s a compliment,” she teased him, her robotic hand making contact with his arm in a playful punch of camaraderie. She was sitting up again, elbows on her knees as she continued to speak. “And before you ask…”

“Ask what?” He rubbed at the spot where she’d socked him, wondering if she had any idea how much strength she really had in that cyborg hand and arm of hers. She must be a champion arm wrestler. “I think you’re pretty solid too. Those other Lombax would be dumb to not see it,” Rivet assured him and this time it was him who bumped shoulders with her.

It was only the pressure against her shoulder she felt from the nerve endings pressed into the machine, she’d lost the ability to feel much else since losing that arm despite his warm arm brushing against her. It was strange but she was used to strange. She almost had a phantom sensation of his touch.

“Thanks,” he chuckled before arching a brow playfully. “Are you reading minds now too?”

“If I’m you and you’re me, it’s a pretty obvious conclusion, right?” She challenged him, ears pricked forward.

“Man, that still makes my head hurt,” he exclaimed, pushing a palm against his forehead with a chuckle.

He wondered if there was more to that besides being shadows of one another, recalling Mags' diary entries of how other Lombaxes had been cast out into different pockets of time and space. To say the least, his mind wasn't ready in the slightest to start going down that rabbit hole just yet. There would be plenty of down time now to do so later, the excitement of peril was done.

They filled the silence that followed with what felt like calm and peace a good friend brought, content in the lull of the conversation; it didn’t feel suffocating or awkward.

Ratchet broke the quiet moment, his voice musing. “Yanno… for someone who’s been a real lone wolf, you sure know how to talk to people.”

“Hey, lone wolf doesn’t equal socially degenerate,” she quipped, shaking her head with a smile at him lifting a hand in mock defense. “Besides, I honestly get how you feel about… the whole scared of the Lombax thing.” She let her face become serious, brows furrowed as she rubbed her hands together. Ratchet could hear the purr in the motors of her robotic arm as it moved. “It wasn’t fair I threw that in your face back at Zurkie’s–”

Automatically he interrupted her, shaking his head and catching her gaze. “No, it’s alright. It wasn’t right of me to call you a coward either when you had your own fears.”

“Yeah but fear does nobody any good when it hurts people,” she told him, lifting her eyes to glance at her arm, seeing her reflection on the golden sleek metal. She turned back to him not long after, somehow feeling a sense of peace wash over her despite some of the jitters. “Guess fear just doesn’t make no sense sometimes, huh?” They shared a look, a somber smile on each other's faces.

“Yeah,” he agreed, sighing with something that almost sounded like a chuckle.

She took a moment to find what she should say next, knowing the conversation wasn’t going to end right there. A good friend did what she could to support each other, not snuff out their insecurities and ignore their needs. Her thoughts absently flew to Kit and Rivet didn’t want to make that mistake again. “Meeting you was honestly one of the most intimidating things I ever did, I can’t imagine adding to it an entire race of who knows how many more of us out there,” she confessed at last. "Fighting Emperor Nefarious was a cakewalk compared to that."

He studied her curiously, a bit surprised. Considering their argument prior to the conclusion of this whole mess, he hadn’t really expected her to have her own qualms about finding their kin. “You worry about what they might think of you too?”

“I mean, maybe a little,” Rivet started, trying to sound casual, being vulnerable wasn’t her strong suit but she was going to try her hardest. Breathing a sigh, she found her words again that were heavy on her tongue, relaxing the tension that had suddenly found itself coiled down her spine. “Well, I don’t anymore, least not like I did before we met,” she replied, meeting his eyes, mischief twinkling like a star. “You like me well enough, right?”

“You seriously need to ask me that?” He rested his elbow on his knee that was curled up close to his chest, the other leg comfortably laying under his relaxed slouch.

“That answers that,” Rivet said, sighing extravagantly in good humor before taking on a more serious tone. “Anyway, if one Lombax thinks I’m good enough, then that must mean others will think of me that way too. If not, well, then I got just the one and your approval is plenty for me.”

He smiled at her. “You think that highly of me? I’m touched.”

“Yeah, I do, and I’m not saying that because you’re the only other Lombax I know,” she told him, returning his smile with one of her own.

Ratchet seemed to consider his words, quiet for only a moment before he said anything. “Hey, Rivet?”

“Yeah, Ratchet?” “Thanks, for tonight, I mean. It helps,” he told her, appreciative as he met her eyes. “Kit and me dished some talk but guess I hadn’t gotten it all out, too much mayhem at the time.”

“It’s what friends are for, right?”

“Right,” Ratchet said, nodding his head.

They fell into a short silence, just looking at each other before Rivet decided to speak. "So… think you're finally ready for that little pit stop soon you promised me?" She arched a brow at him, a challenge he met with a toothy smirk teetering on a grin.

"I've been ready." He reached a hand out to her, bicep raised as Rivet met him halfway, robotic palm pressed into the glove of his as they met in a firm clap.

She squeezed his hand, mindful to not crush it with their arms pressed together from the grip. "That's what I like to hear."

"Good, because you'll be hearing a lot more from where that's coming, Rivet."

#ratchet & clank #ratchet and clank #ratchet and clank rift apart #my writing #my fanfiction

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the-lady-of-stars · 4 years

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Wishing you were somehow here again - part 1

Commander Wolffe x Jedi ! Reader

Summary: Wolffe loves you, his Jedi, more than anything. Nothing could ever come between your hearts. Or at least that’s what you believed up until he was commanded to kill you under Order 66.

A/N: Unfortunately for you all I have returned, once again inspired to write more heartbreaking angst for Wolffe. Luckily for you, however, this first chapter will exclusively be fluff. Kudos for anyone who knows what the title is a reference to. Enjoy my lovelies ;)

You had always thought that Wolffe looked most handsome under the light of the moon. The way the silver glow framed his face made him out to be some ethereal being sent from the stars themselves.

From where you lay next to him on the grassy hill you could just about see the blissed out smile that graced his features. He had brought you out here away from camp to bask in the beauty of the night with him, and there you were, fingers clasped with his as his thumb stroked tender circles on your palm, grounding you in the moment. His eyes were gazing up at the vast expanse space above you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to peel your sight from him. Sensing your lingering stare, Wolffe turned his head to you, smile broadening at how enamoured his beloved looked.

“What’s goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours, hmm cyar’ika?” he coaxed sweetly, squeezing your hand.

“I really love you, Wolffe,” you spoke softly, not daring to break the pure serenity of the moment.

He huffed in loving amusement, rolling onto his side to look down at you with fond eyes.

“And I love you, my starlight. But what’s brought this on? You goin’ all soft on me, General?”

“Can’t help it, Commander. ‘S all your fault. Might just have to court martial you for it,” you mused.

“Court martial! And what exactly would the reasoning for this court martial be, might I ask?”

“Mm, well, quite a few things actually. For starters I’d accuse you of making your Jedi General fall hopelessly in love with you- that’s the most important one.” Wolffe grinned down at you as you spoke. “Next I’d accuse you of distracting your General from patrol and making her stargaze with you instead. Also important. Finally I might accuse you of having brought me here over an hour ago yet not having so much as kissed me on the cheek even once, although that can be rectified before it’s too late.”

Wolffe let out a genuine laugh before leaning down closer to you, putting his weight on his forearms, obscuring most of your vision but leaving a slight backdrop of the blinking stars surrounding him.

“Ah well, in that case I suppose I had better make a start. You have my sincerest apologies, Mesh’la.”

“I might find it in me to forgive you, but you’ll have to make it up to me first.”

“Yeah?” he cooed.

“Mmhmm. Real nice.”

“I think I can do that.”

He began with a gentle kiss to your jaw, rising up your face to your cheeks, brows, forehead and nose, spoiling every inch of you in the loving way he thought you deserved. He muttered compliments and praise in between kisses, soothing you with his whispers of “sweet girl,” “so beautiful,” and “so good for me.” You both sighed in harmony as he finally closed the remaining distance to meet your lips, locking them against yours. Your noses pressed together, eyelids fluttering at the sheer intimacy of the moment.

When you eventually separated from each other, you remained with your foreheads touching, both panting to reclaim the breath you had stolen from the other. You remained there, silence unbroken for minutes, just enjoying the moment.

Wolffe was the one to break the stillness, pushing himself off of you to lean on his side again, eyes wandering over your face in thought.

“What is it?” you spoke serenely, surveying his expression. He appeared to be deep in thought, although what about you couldn’t tell.

“Do you remember when we first met?” he spoke up after a few more moments of thinking.

“Of course, how could I forget?”

“We all knew that General Plo had trained a padawan to knighthood but we’d never actually met you. I remember on one campaign to some planet in the outer-rim we were resting for the night and Wildfire asked the General to tell us a story to pass the time. That was the first time he told us about you. Told us how you’d taken out an entire squadron of clankers all on your own and without your saber. I’ll admit I fell a little bit in love with you right then. The more he told us about you the more I wanted to meet you. That night I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about what you might have looked like. I lay there picturing your face, wondering things like what colour your eyes might be. If there’s one thing I guessed right it was that your eyes would definitely be striking, had to be to match the personality that went with them. So in some way I suppose you could say I was in love with you before I had even met you. I’ve heard Master Plo saying before that the force can bring people together. I don’t know if that’s real or not, I’m no Jedi, but I like to believe that we were meant to find each other, you know?

“Wolffe, you’ve never told me any of this before,” your eyes were glued to his lips as he spoke, captivated by his words.

“I was always too embarassed to tell you. Honestly I’m surprised the boys didn’t get to blabbin’ about it to you before now. And the first time I actually met you? Stars. If you ask the boys they’ll tell you that I looked hypnotised. According to Sinker my mouth was wide open like I’d been hit straight on by a gunship. Nothing I’d imagined before could even compare to how beautiful you were. If I wasn’t in love with you before that then I definitely was then. My vode still haven’t stop teasing me for that one. But you wanna know when I was sure you were the one for me? You remember that time I got injured on Naboo after that clanker we didn’t notice hit me good in the knee?”

You winced, the memory still fresh in your mind. “I still have nightmares about that sometimes. Thought I was going to lose you, and even though I hadn’t known you all that long I realised then that I couldn’t bare to live without you.”

Wolffe took one of your hands in his, pressing a reassuring kiss to your knuckles in comfort then moving to play with your fingers absent-mindedly as he continued to speak.

“And that’s why I fell for you. You looked after me all day and night, even while I slept, making sure I was clean, hydrated, comfortable and not in any pain. You cared for me so selflessly. When I woke up and saw that you had fallen asleep next to me in exhaustion I wanted nothing more than to show you just how appreciated you were. But I just couldn’t find the words no matter how hard I tried.” He looked into your eyes, noticing how they had glazed over slightly from how close you were to tears.

“I know. I felt your emotions through the force. No one had ever felt that strongly for me in my life. Which is why I kissed you when you woke. Couldn’t find the right words either,” you smiled at him, lips trembling with emotion.

“You’ll never know how often I think of that kiss. Think I nearly passed out again when it happened, my heart was racing so fast. You had me absolutely doll dizzy. But you know what the funny thing is? You’d think that I’d have become more used to it by now, you kiss me at every chance you get, but I haven’t. Every single time you kiss me I feel that same way I did the first time. You’ve got me good, sweetheart. Point is- I don’t ever want to stop feeling that way. I want to be able to lean over and kiss you for the rest of my life. So, Y/N, I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and I’ve decided. I want to marry you.”

“What?” you gasped, heart pounding against your chest.

“I know it technically won’t be a legal marriage seeing as I’m a clone and you’re a Jedi, but that doesn’t matter to me. We don’t need paperwork to prove our love for each other. I want you to be my wife. My wife who I can spend every day of the rest of my life spoiling in the way she deserves. So, what do you say? Y/N Y/L/N, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

Both of you now had tears streaming freely, a sob catching in your throat as you went to reply.

“Yes,” you choked out. “Yes, Wolffe, I would love to marry you.”

The two of you were crying your hearts out, smiles pulling at your cheeks so brightly that it was nearly painful. Wolffe wasted no more time before standing up and pulling you to your feet then into his arms, picking you up to spin you in pure unbreakable joy.

He set you down and instantly brought your lips together, giving him a new most passionate kiss to think about for the rest of his life.

“I love you,” he laughed through his tears. “I love you so much!”

“I love you too. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Wolffe paused for a second, visibly thinking before kneeling down to the grass.

“What are you doing?” you asked, but he was too distracted with what ever he was doing to reply.

You watched as he plucked a long blade of grass out of the soil forming a loop with it then tying it off so it was shaped like a circle.

“A ring. I’m sorry I can’t get you a pretty one straight away, so this will have to suffice for now, but one day, after the war, I swear to you I will buy you the most beautiful ring I can.”

Wolffe took your left hand delicately in his, sliding his grass ring onto your fourth finger. You once again sobbed at his actions, throwing yourself into his chest and tucking your head under his chin.

“Wolffe, it’s perfect. I don’t need a fancy ring, I only want you. And if you think I’m not treasuring this ring made from the grass of the hill you proposed to me on for the rest of my life then you don’t know me like I thought you did.”

He laughed, a wide grin settling on his face as he pulled you tight against him, rocking you in a slow dance as you both tried to stop crying.

Absolutely nothing could tear the two of you apart. Or at least, that’s what you believed. Palpatine, you would soon discover, thought otherwise.

#commander wolffe x reader #clone wars imagine #clone wars x reader #star wars imagine #star wars x reader #clone x reader #clone imagine

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hopelessromanticspoonie · 5 years

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Helping Hands - Chapter 5

Series Masterlist here

Chapter Summary: Training with Nat doesn’t go as planned, and Fury’s plan is put to the test.

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of previous abuse and neglect, minor panic attack

A/N: The gif will make sense. :)

“Okay, stand with your feet about shoulder-width apart, and turn a bit to the side. Yeah, that’s it. Keep your thumbs on the outside of your fists. Now, use the momentum of turning your torso to put some weight behind your fist, and punch through the bag.”

The bandages wrapped over Haley’s knuckles and wrists were uncomfortable with the sweat that slicked over her skin. She couldn’t remember ever exercising, ever having a cause to break a sweat or work so hard in her life. Sure, Steve and Sam were sparring on the other side of the gym, the sounds of their blows deafening, acting as if this was just another day at the office. And for them, it was. But, to someone unused to the strain, it proved a monumental effort to fight the fatigue trembling in her limbs as she delivered punch after punch to the heavy bag that Nat supported from behind.

Haley had healed completely from her adopted wound in the span of several days - not too terribly long considering Loki had stopped her from taking the entirety of Nat’s injury. Natasha, on the other hand, was still taking it easy. Which, for an Avenger, apparently meant settling for running several miles on a treadmill and lifting her body weight in dumbells instead of kicking ass with Clint.

“You can’t walk around in tape all day every day, so it’ll hurt more, when - if, it happens.”

And that little slip-up made Haley’s entire body seize, her throbbing hands spread out against the woven fabric of the bag to tether her to reality. When. When she was going to have to face Mr. Shaw again. That’s what she was preparing for, beating up a bag of sand with arms as thick and tough as overcooked spaghetti.

“Ah shit, Hales, I’m sorry.”

Small fingers clutched hers after she dropped to her knees on the cushioned, sticky mat beneath her. She stared at them, one set littered with callouses and scars, the other flushed, but baby soft and lined with blue-green veins beneath almost translucent skin. Panic constricted around her chest so that it felt like her rapidly drumming heart would burst through her ribcage and tear her struggling lungs into ribbons with the fragments left behind.

“He’s on a mission.”

“If we don’t call him he’s gonna be pissed. You wanna deal with that?”

Cool glass pressed against her ear.

“Are you alright?”

The rough timbre of Loki’s voice didn’t sound quite right through the small speaker of the phone. She drew in a shaky breath. “I’m okay.”

An obnoxious tone sounded through the phone, and she tilted her head away from it with a grimace, closing her eyes. Everything was fine. She was in Stark Tower. She was surrounded by friends who would protect her. Mr. Shaw couldn’t reach her here.

“Darling.”

The hands holding hers retreated, replaced in an instant by a warmer, larger pair not a moment later. Deft fingers worked at unraveling the bandages protecting her knuckles. Her eyes opened to see Loki kneeling in front of her, still dressed in his leather armor.

All she could think to mumble out was, “How’d you get here so fast.”

Loki tossed the wrappings away, lifting her chin up with two fingers to thoroughly examine the distraught expression on her face. “Magic.”

The fear slowly seeped out of her at his attentions but she still couldn’t catch her breath or calm her speeding heart. Strangely, she couldn’t help but long to rub away the lines that crinkled between his brows. “You were on a mission. You’ll get in trouble.”

“You needed me.” He stood up and helped her to her feet with his hold on her hands. He didn’t let them go after she was standing, maintaining his firm grip as he led her out of the room. “You need a sports beverage and a snack. It wouldn’t do for you to overwork yourself before this evening.”

Had she overworked herself, or was she destined to feel this terrible regardless of her disastrous session with Nat?

Even with the soothing feeling of makeup smoothing over her skin and a brush running through her hair (there wasn’t much else to do with what little length she had), she couldn’t ignore the anxiety that weighed heavy in the pit of her stomach. It rolled through her and threatened to force itself around the lump in her throat. But practice made perfect, and she’d had years of hiding many a negative emotion and sensation.

“If you don’t stop sucking your bottom lip into your mouth, I’m gonna make you look like a clown.” Nat bopped her cheek lightly with the fluffy end of a makeup brush.

“Sorry.”

A brush painted over her lips in long, soft strokes. “We’ll all keep an eye on you. Fury has backup waiting on the floors just above and below. Even Loki is going to be there. You won’t be alone.”

All those words were meant to reassure her. But when she opened her eyes after shimmying into the dress Wanda had loaned her, she felt anything but confident in how the evening was going to go.

“I’m going to stick out like a sore thumb.”

The crimson dress molded to her skin, dipping down in the back to show a considerable amount of her spine. Lace encased her arms to her wrists and all she wanted to do was tug the sleeves down so she could grasp the material in her palms. She’d never shown so much skin. Did anyone really need to see the lower halves of her thighs? That was hardly her most pressing concern, however, when she factored in her inability to walk in the black heels Nat had helped her wobble into. She felt like a toddler, desperately attempting to balance with each step.

“That’s the point. Come on, the faster we get you out there the faster this is all done with.”

It took every ounce of courage that she had within her to step into the spacious ballroom several floors down from their living quarters. The lights, scattered around the room in glowing columns and hanging from the ceiling in interesting modern fixtures, were just warm enough to contrast the black marble floor and dark walls. The music from the DJ vibrated through her bones to ratchet up her heartbeat until it matched the thudding bass. More people than she had ever seen in her life milled about, either dancing or talking or some combination of the two.

Tony had told her to make sure to be seen by as many people as possible. What did that entail? How was she supposed to act natural, while still making sure she was noticed, when she didn’t even know what ‘natural’ was? She’d never been to a party before!

“Perhaps you should first procure a drink?”

She stopped staring at a stunning woman in a dress that looked to be made out starlight, glancing quickly over at the owner of the naggingly familiar voice. It had sounded just enough like Loki to pique her interest, although there was a softness to the baritone that didn’t quite fit. Nor did the owner of the lovely accented suggestion. The man peering at her through brown, thin-rimmed glasses shot her a mischievous grin. He had auburn hair that curled at the nape of his neck, and a neatly trimmed beard and mustache that covered the rosy skin of his jaw.

But the eyes. Even though they were a twinkling light blue, she’d recognize that playful and earnest expression anywhere.

“Loki?”

He closed the remaining distance between them, steering her toward one of the many bars set up around the edges of the room with a gentle hand on her exposed middle back. It was as if all she could focus on was his touch pouring heat through her skin to flow through her like molten sunlight. Even walking was a bit easier with him brushing against her side, as if he lent her a bit of his strength and surety while guiding her along.

“I desired to be close to you for the evening, and my standard appearance tends to draw more attention than would suit the delicacy of the mission,” he explained quietly, his head ducked down low so his words were delivered just above her ear.

Ignoring the flush that spread up her neck at his admission - he just wanted to protect her - she settled her trembling hands on the gleaming dark wood of the bar. She took the short, wide-mouthed glass that he’d ordered, crinkling her nose at the slightly bitter condensation that tickled against her lips. “What is this?”

“Sparkling water. It will appear as if you are imbibing, but you will maintain a level head.” He angled his head toward the dance floor. “I will be close behind.”

At his clear suggestion that she continue on with the plan, she started moving about the room, cracking a smile that didn’t reach her eyes whenever she made eye contact with someone. The bitter drink bubbled unhappily in her stomach, and she couldn’t stop herself from fiddling with the orange slice perched on the rim. It was expected for the Avengers to attend the party, so she was safe in acknowledging them whenever they’d cross paths. A friendly nod from Bucky, a squeeze of her hand from Natasha, a quick hug around her shoulders from Tony and a smile from Pepper, they all helped to tamp down the edge of her nerves.

She caught the barest hint of Loki’s voice, sweetened with his disguise, at random intervals. Pleasant laughter and an airy chuckle would meet her ears over the sounds of the party, reassuring her that he was keeping his promise of remaining closeby. How she longed to change her appearance as he could, melt into the skin of another, to avoid it all and enjoy the evening. Perhaps learn how to dance…

“Your drink seems to be empty, sweetheart. Care for another?”

She snapped out of her self-pitying reverie, sighing heavily at the waiter who offered her a flute of sparkling golden liquid. She suspected it to be alcohol, but maybe a sip wouldn’t hurt to calm her down?

“Thanks.”

The crystal was refreshingly cool grasped in her hands. She sank against the wall behind her, lifting it to her rouge-painted lips to take a drink, when it was ripped from her grip.

“Don’t drink that,” Loki urged her, shielding her from view of the room with his body placed squarely in front of her. He cut his eyes at the drink between them, turning it in his grasp and sniffing the contents.

Tony, with Pepper right behind him, quickly skirted through the unaware guests, coming up to Loki’s other side with alert, tight eyes and hands flexing in front of him. “What’d he look like?”

“White button-up shirt, but it wasn’t pressed like your staff. Fair skin, brown hair and eyes, with scuffed black trainers and a skinny black tie. Not a bow tie.” Loki handed the glass off to Stark, searching Haley’s face with jaw set.

“Fury’s on it. Good catch there, Reindeer Games. Hales, you okay?”

Why would Loki keep her from trying the drink? What could’ve been in there? Poison? Drugs? Mr. Shaw didn’t like to discuss business in front of her, but she knew that Hydra had created some awful weapons that could be easily hidden in a bit of liquid.

Oh.

They’d found her. Was he here? Here to drag her back to another dank room, living out her days in endless agony and darkness, taking his injuries so he could commit more atrocities in the world? Her eyes skittered over the guests frantically even as the room seemed to fold in around her. Her quick breaths did nothing to take in any oxygen into her constricted lungs and she gasped, curling in over her arms wrapped around her stomach. She couldn’t go back there. She couldn’t.

The striped blue fabric of Loki’s suit was the last thing she saw before he straightened her up with steady hands on her shoulders, tugging her into him until her face was pressed into his neck, instructing her to close her eyes.

Coldness, sharper than anything she’d ever felt before, rushed over her for a split second before the sounds of the party instantly stopped. The resulting silence was so jarring that she backed away from Loki, expecting to hit the wall of the ballroom; instead, her knees touched the lip of her favorite couch in the recreation area. She sank down onto it, focusing on slowing her breathing and her heart rate as she stared up at the bespeckled version of her closest friend.

“How can I assist you?” he asked, kneeling down in front of her, his hands hovering in the space between him and her knees.

Only when the worried scrunch of his brows blurred did she realize that tears were pricking at the corners of her eyes. She clenched them tight, refusing to give in to her panic, waving her hands in his general direction. “Can you just, be you, again? It’s too weird. I need you.”

More silence beyond her ragged breaths. And then gloriously soft fabric slipped over one arm, around her back, and then over the other. Her hoodie. She opened her eyes to watch Loki adjusting the cuffs around her wrists, tugging them down until her fingers could close over the edges, before sitting on the couch next to her. He looked like himself again, handsome and dark with piercing green eyes that searched her face with so much concern she thought her heard might split in two.

“I could fetch a bit of water, or chocolate. Would you prefer to get out of that dress and into something more comfortable? I promise that you are safe-”

His mouth hung open, all speech ceasing when she reached out to take his hand into her lap, lacing their fingers together. She needed the physical reminder of his presence. The warmth of his grasp and the gentle rub of his thumb over the thin skin on the back of her hand - initiated after a few moments further of him staring - did more to calm her than anything else.

“Can we just sit like this for a minute?” She hated how she sounded, weak and shaky to match the knocking of her knees, but it couldn’t be helped.

Too close. They had gotten too close and he wasn’t close enough.

He shifted and let out a deep breath. Their sides pressed together from thigh to shoulder. His other hand rested over theirs and squeezed tenderly. “Anything you wish.”

Series taglist: @kneel-before-queen-loki @alexakeyloveloki @from-hel-i-with-love @cleocc @cateyes315 @coldbookworm @rjohnson1280 @bambi-butt @skiddleskaddle @lokis-high-priestess @myraiswack @ilovetardis @midgardian-mistress @lisaspageofstuff @kathrynwynterbourne @bluestaratsunrise

Little Bit o’ Loki taglist: @myownviperroom @grahoundart @darealbellabelleoftheball @boubouinscarlet @iamverity @rt8815 @lots-of-loki @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore @ms-cellanies @rosierossette @thathedonistgirl @lokixme

Whole Shebang taglist: @just-the-hiddles @yespolkadotkitty @nonsensicalobsessions @vodka-and-some-sass @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @myoxisbroken @brokenthelovely @myworddump @polireader @wiczer @littleredstarfish @the-broken-angel-13 @arch-venus25 @xxloki81xx @jessiejunebug @tinchentitri @sllooney @devilbat @vikkleinpaul @bouquet-o-undercaffeinated-roses @angelus80 @wolfsmom1 @kthemarsian @toozmanykids @claritastantrum @princerowanwhitethorngalathynius @sabine-leo @lovesmesomehiddles @peterman-spideyparker @wegingerangelica @bluefrenchfries604 @catsladen @snoopy3000 @silverswordthekilljoy @villainousshakespeare

#loki fanfic #loki #slow burn #loki x OFC #angst #fluff #protective!loki #protective loki #marvel fanfic #helping hands #hopelesswrites

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

2003 (1/2) (Vanique) - Ortega

a/n: VANIQUE MUST RIIIIIIISE!!!! ayo team, welcome to this. i pulled this ship from virtually nowhere when i was writing n19f and people seemed to like i as much as i did, so i wrote these two together for the fic challenge. i’ve split this fic into two halves, as they’re two very different vibes. this part follows Vanessa and Monique as they go through primary school and then start their first couple years at high school, so it’s definitely more platonic than anything else but it’s cute! also overall this was inspired by two songs, one being 2003 by Todrick and the other being I Choose You by Kiana Ledé which will be the title of the next part, so look out for that. i so so sosososo hope u enjoy, bc i highkey love this pairing a lot. lots of lo-ove, by-ee!

tw: implied child neglect and drug use

summary: Vanessa Mateo and Monique Heart start school in the year 2003. They love girlbands, superheroes and football, and they’re best friends forever. At least, that’s the plan.

***

The room smells of squeaky floors and play-dough. It’s not like anything she’s ever smelt before, but it’s weirdly comforting. She’s sat on a carpet patterned with all kinds of fruit. It doesn’t have pineapple (which is her favourite), but that’s okay. The walls are covered in colourful paper, an arts-and-crafts rainbow explosion. There’s words too, different curly and spiky shapes making letters. She knows one has a “V” in it because that comes at the start of her name and it looks the same, but she can’t read any of the writing yet. Some of the kids in nursery could already read and one of the boys could even write stories. Vanessa couldn’t. She still can’t, but that’s okay. She can write her name and say please and thank you in two different languages and she knows how to count up to 12 (she gets stuck after that, but she’ll learn the rest).

She looks around the carpet. There’s a girl nearby her with two huge black plaits and huge brown eyes to match. Her skin is dark, and Vanessa feels comforted by the fact she’s not alone in sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the Snow Whites and Cinderellas and Auroras and their matching porcelain-skinned Disney princes that are sitting on the carpet with her. She scratches her head, feeling the bow her Mama tied in dark her hair shift. She hopes she’s not made a mess of it. Then Mama would be mad.

Her teacher’s been talking for a while now. It seems like she’s been talking for two hours. Maybe she has been talking for two hours. Vanessa looks up at the clock, even though she doesn’t know how to tell the time yet so the information is less than useless to her. Bored, her eyes drift towards the girl she was looking at before. She’s wearing a white polo shirt and a red pinafore, and her white socks have got red bows on them. Vanessa is jealous. Her new jumper with the school logo is scratchy on the inside and she told her Mama that her leggings have a hole at the knee but they can’t get any new ones until she gets paid.

She bum-shuffles across to sit beside the girl, keeps her eyes trained on the teacher like a sniper as she leans in and whispers. “You look like a princess.”

The girl gives her a big smile. Vanessa knows she should say thank you, but maybe she doesn’t know as much about manners as Vanessa does. The girl whispers to her. “You look like Meg from Hercules.”

Vanessa smiles at her. She’s seen Hercules- it’s not her favourite, but she’s seen it- and Meg was her favourite character. “Thanks.”

“It’s okay,” she whispers. There’s a pause before she hisses to her again. “My name’s Monique, what’s yours?”

“I’m Vanessa,” she replies quietly. Vanessa picks at the hole in her leggings. It’s now about the size of a 1p coin. She knows about coins, at least. “Hey, you wanna play princesses at playtime?”

Monique nods excitedly, then whips her head around, scared. Vanessa looks up at her teacher. Her eyebrows are almost joined-up and there’s little lines on her forehead and her eyes have gone all hard. Vanessa knows this means she’s feeling cross.

“Vanessa, Monique! It’s rude to talk while someone else is talking. We don’t do that in school.”

Vanessa knows she should nod, but her stomach feels all fizzy and she finds herself frowning at her teacher instead. Monique says sorry. Maybe Vanessa should say sorry too. She decides she doesn’t want to.

“She’s been talking for about 5 hours. Maybe even 4 years,” Vanessa whispers to Monique again. Monique covers her mouth with her hands and lets out a tiny giggle. Their teacher gives them a suspicious look again and Monique shuffles away from Vanessa. Vanessa knows this means she doesn’t want to get into trouble. As soon as the teacher starts talking again, Vanessa hisses over to her.

“Monique!”

No answer. “Monique!”

Monique turns around a little bit to face her. “What?”

Vanessa cups her mouth with her hands so the girl can hear her. “Do you want to be best friends?”

Monique gives her another big smile. It makes Vanessa feel happy too. “Okay!”

She’s only been here for five hours, maybe even four years, and she’s already made a best friend. This school thing is easy.

***

It’s the two of them for life. Vanessa just knows it. They’re BFFAEAE (best friends forever and ever and ever). They get in trouble for chatting at school and their long-suffering teacher monitors them like a hawk. They’re banned from sitting near each other on the carpet because even when Vanessa tries to listen (even if it’s P.E., her favourite), she’ll think of something funny she just has to share with Monique, and of course Monique is incapable of laughing quietly so she lets out a screech that completely disrupts the whole lesson and earns them both five minutes off their reward time. Vanessa doesn’t even mind losing reward time. They sit at the same table while everyone else plays and they write out the class rules, but Vanessa doesn’t mind because it’s the only time they’ll ever be allowed to sit together in class.

In the playground and after school it’s a different story. In Reception they play princesses and animal rescue with their threadbare, well-loved stuffed animals they sneak into school in their schoolbags. By Year 1 they’re popstars learning dance routines and designing album covers and falling out because Monique wants to call their double-act The Strawberry Babies and Vanessa knows that obviously The Starlights is a far superior name. In the Summer between Year 1 and Year 2 Vanessa’s Mama takes them to the cinema to see Fantastic Four and so for the whole of Year 2 they’re obsessed with superheroes, rolling around on the tarmac play-fighting with each other and getting bruised knees and scraped elbows and so far removed from the girly girls they were when they started school.

Vanessa knows everything about Monique and Monique knows everything about her, because that’s what it means to be best friends. Vanessa knows that Monique’s brother is eleven and goes to Big School and doesn’t play with her and slams his door and plays rap music that Monique can hear when she’s in her room with the door closed. Monique stays in the high flats with her brother and her gran.

“Do you have a Mama?” Vanessa remembers asking her one day in the playground, drawing in the dirt with sticks.

Monique’s voice had been quiet. She hadn’t looked up from drawing in the dirt. “Uh-huh.”

“Where is she?”

Monique had shrugged, scribbled out the happy face she’d drawn. “Gran says she’s not allowed to see us any more.”

Vanessa could tell talking about her Mama had made Monique sad, so they don’t talk about that any more. Dads are off the table too. Vanessa doesn’t know hers and Monique doesn’t either. Vanessa doesn’t really need a Dad. Her Mama works in the supermarket and keeps their tiny pebbledashed council house in the estate spotlessly clean and is always on time to pick Vanessa up from school. She drags Vanessa kicking and screaming to mass every Sunday (Vanessa doesn’t like it because all the chanting scares her) and threatens her with El Coco until she’s blue in the face. Monique goes to church too but hers sounds more fun- they laugh and clap and sing their hearts out. Monique sings the songs in school. Vanessa thinks she sounds like she could be in the Sugababes, not that she’s allowed to listen to the Sugababes.

Monique comes round to Vanessa’s house every few weeks or so. She lives close, and Monique is allowed to walk round on her own. Vanessa is jealous of that. She wishes her Mama would let her go places on her own. She tells her that one day and Mama howls with laughter, says she’s not allowed out on her own until she’s at least twenty-one. Vanessa thinks she’s joking. Thinks.

Vanessa gets excited when Monique visits because she knows her Mama will make an effort with the dinner. That’s unfair and disrespectful, she knows; Mama works hard to put food on the table, but her stuffed arepas are just better than rice and beans (and microwave meals if it’s near her pay day, which her Mama makes Vanessa promise she’ll never tell her Abuela they eat). They sit and eat with their bowls on their laps on the sofa in front of the TV and watch The Weakest Link. They sometimes get the questions right even though they’re only 7 and the people on the show are fully-grown adults. Monique is smart, though. Smarter than Vanessa. Vanessa thinks she’s smarter than their teacher. She’s the best at writing in the class and the best at maths too, and she can read any word at all.

Vanessa’s not that smart, but she knows Monique is, and she thinks she’s amazing.

It’s a grey-clouded day in July in the Summer of 2007 when Monique pulls up outside Vanessa’s house on a brand new bike. It’s blue and the seat is close to the ground and the spokes are all shiny. Vanessa runs out to see her, sticks her feet in between the bars of the rusty iron gate at the front of their house and swings back and forth as Monique talks.

“My brother got me it. Someone from the skatepark didn’t want it any more and it’s too small for him, so I guess it’s mine now,” Monique shrugs happily. There’s a smudge of dirt on her face that Vanessa knows her Mama will wipe off with a hot cloth if she sees it. “It’s kinda big for me but it works okay. You got a bike, right?”

Vanessa cringes, thinks about the pink bike with streamers at the handles that lives in their back garden and is probably crumbling away with rust. “I got one, but it ain’t as cool as yours.”

Monique smiles, satisfied with the compliment. “Well, go get it an’ we can go for a ride.”

Vanessa blushes and thinks of how many cool points she’s going to lose when she tells Monique that she has to ask her Mama first. Monique laughs at her good-humouredly, sticks her tongue out at her and calls her a baby. Monique turned 9 two months ago and Vanessa has to wait four more to catch up with her, so the comment stings but she pretends it doesn’t.

To her surprise and delight, her Mama lets her go out on her bike with Monique but only if they just go round the estate and they’re back before dinner time. Vanessa has never been able to follow the rules, though, so when Monique tells her she knows a place by the river under the bridge with a scrub of sand like it’s the seaside then Vanessa doesn’t hesitate to follow her. Vanessa wonders how Monique seems to know the city so well: she takes her on a journey through dark underpasses with yellow strip lights and bright scrawls of graffiti, narrow bridges above busy roads that Vanessa tries to pretend don’t scare her, secret little paths through the big park Vanessa goes to with her Mama sometimes. They pedal wildly and everything zooms by so quickly that even though she has no idea where she is, Vanessa feels safe. Any vaguely scary things they see (big dogs) are gone a second later, and Vanessa knows Monique would protect her if anything scary did happen. She would protect her too. That’s just what best friends do.

They arrive at the place Monique had been talking about. The brown stone bridge hangs high above them but Vanessa can still hear the cars on it pass by. They’re drowned out slightly by the babbling of the river, inky and cold and black with jaggy rocks underneath its surface. There’s huge clusters of boulders that they both have to climb over to get to the sand and they have to leave their bikes leaning against the wall on the path. It’s not a pretty place, but it’s still a little bit magical. It has the aura of adventure rather than beauty and they’d be more likely to discover pirates here than fairies, which is just how Vanessa likes it. Together they chuck stones into the water haphazardly, their hands growing more grubby by the minute and the dirt black under their nails.

“What’s that?” Vanessa narrows her eyes, reaches down to pick up the object she’s spotted. It’s embedded in the sand and she can’t really see what it is, but it looks like what she got her injections with at the doctor’s. Monique races over to see what she’s talking about and pushes her hand away quickly. Vanessa snaps. “Hey!”

“You’re not s'posed to touch that, it’s dangerous!” Monique cries, outraged. “What if you got stabbed?”

Vanessa snorts a laugh. “It’s ain’t a knife, M'nique, it’s only a stupid needle."

Then, almost as if Monique’s warning had been a dare, Vanessa picks it out the sand with her thumb and index finger, holds it by the plastic tube. Monique’s face falls. "Stop it, ‘Ness, that’s creepy.”

Vanessa laughs, starts making the needle float about while making spooky noises. Monique takes a step back, her face all panicked. Vanessa gives a giggle. Monique’s acting like a scaredy-cat; she does that sometimes and it’s funny to wind her up. She usually takes it well but she’s growing more distressed than she usually does. Her eyes are all wide and Vanessa stops playing the moment she sees tears start welling up in them. She immediately drops the needle into the river and crosses over to her, her trainers leaving huge Nike ticks in the sand.

“Hey, what’s the matter? I’m sorry,” she mumbles. She regrets joking around now, and Monique is wiping at her eyes and sniffing and smearing dirt across her face.

“They used to be all ‘round my house before we lived with Gran,” she sniffs. Vanessa gets a churning feeling in her tummy. She doesn’t really know what that means, but it makes her feel frightened just hearing about it. She can’t imagine how frightened Monique felt seeing them for real. Slipping the sleeves of her hoodie down over her hands, she gives Monique a hug, pats her back in the hope it’s comforting.

“I threw it in the river. Don’t worry. You don’t need to see it ever again,” Vanessa says. She’s not Monique, she doesn’t know what it’s like to have a sibling, but Monique is the closest thing to a sister she has and she wants to keep her safe. Monique is smiling at her when she steps out of the hug, and Vanessa feels relieved.

“An’ if it does come back we’ll just stab it before it can stab us first!” Monique jokes. It’s a silly joke but Vanessa still bursts out laughing.

“We’ll stab it with a stick!” she joins in, and soon the two girls are laughing and anything vaguely threatening has been forgotten about.

They end up cycling a lot that Summer, Monique showing Vanessa all sorts of hidden places all round the city. Vanessa never feels freer than when she’s racing around on dirt paths behind her best friend, and worries are a distant memory. Vanessa’s life is good and she has a lot of things to be thankful for but she knows she looks different and doesn’t fit in, she knows there’s a lot of things that the other kids have that she doesn’t, she knows that there are times when her Mama sits up at night time with her bills spilling out across the kitchen table and a calculator in her hand. Monique is a bright smile and a sense of adventure and she makes Vanessa feel happy.

They don’t go out on their bikes as much when they go back to school after the holidays. Year 4 flies by almost as quick as they used to cycle, as does Year 5. They don’t pretend as much in the playground anymore, preferring to run riot on the astroturf with the boys in their class and play football and get bruises on their shins from being tackled to within an inch of their life. Not much changes by Year 6; their last year of primary school when they should be responsible and conscientious and yet they’re still getting in trouble for giggling in class and playing pranks on the other kids and whispering swear words in Spanish (that one is Vanessa’s fault).

They’ve only got a month left of primary school and Vanessa’s allowed to walk home with Monique now as long as she keeps her phone on loud and texts her Mama to tell her if they’re stopping by the park or the snack van. Today is one of those days. They’re sat underneath the huge cherry blossom tree at the park; Vanessa wants to climb it but Monique’s saying that’s too babyish. They’re too old for that now, so they’re bluetoothing each other Tinchy Stryder and N-Dubz songs and blaring them at full volume out of their tinny phone speakers instead. Vanessa’s about to show Monique a parody somebody’s made of You’re Beautiful by James Blunt when Monique breaks the not-quite-silence.

“You gotta crush on anyone?”

Vanessa wrinkles her face up, snorts a laugh. “Ew! Nah. All the boys in our class are gross. I ain’t ever had a crush on any of ‘em.”

Monique gives a quiet laugh. “Me neither. They all use that Lynx Africa like it’s gonna cover up their B.O.”

Vanessa lets out a howl of laughter. She wasn’t lying to Monique; she doesn’t have a crush on anyone. If she thinks about it, she’s never really had a crush on any of the boys in her class. It’s just not something she thinks about. She cares more about her best friend than she’d ever care about any boy.

Their laughter dies down, and Vanessa gets a knot in her stomach. It happens every so often when she thinks about high school. Their class went up to see the school last week and it felt like such a terrifying maze of identical-looking corridors and crowds of kids so old they looked to be mini adults. Their teacher had told them to write down three friends they wanted to be in the same form class as, even though she said she couldn’t guarantee they’d get to stay together. Vanessa had written only one name on her form- Monique Heart - in her curly, barely-legible handwriting, the “i”s dotted with hearts. It’s been on her mind ever since, though. They’ve been together since Reception, Monique is all Vanessa knows. She wouldn’t begin to know how to make any other friends. She doesn’t want any other friends.

“M’nique,” Vanessa says, and the other girl looks up. “What happens if we ain’t in the same form class next year?”

Monique gives a small, humoured laugh. “Well then we ain’t in the same form class.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes and shoves her. “Duh, idiot! I mean like…with us. We still gon’ be best friends?”

Monique laughs dismissively, shakes her head at her. “Now who’s being the idiot?”

“I’m serious!” Vanessa objects, annoyed that Monique’s still got her eyebrows raised at her like she’s a little kid. She’s going to be 12 in October; it’s not like she’s a baby. “What if you find other cool girls to hang out with? What if you get a new best friend? What am I gonna do?”

“You’re gonna do nothing, cuz that ain’t gonna happen,” Monique insists. Her face lights up as she gets an idea, jabs a finger against the tree trunk. “Okay. If I carve our initials into this tree, it’ll be like a promise. That we’re always gonna be best friends. I don’t want to hang out with cool girls. It’s fun just me an’ you.”

Vanessa smiles, her heart feeling all warm at the reassurance. Monique rummages around in her bag and produces her keys, starts stabbing at the bark of the tree relentlessly. Vanessa flinches a little, part of the reaction a residual memory from watching Pocahontas too much when she was really little; she used to believe that trees could feel things like humans. She shares the memory with Monique who doesn’t laugh at her, even though she probably has every right to.

“Well humans feel things an’ they get tattoos. So this is like a tattoo for a tree,” she shrugs. She’s chipped a big capital M in the bumpy bark so far and is starting on an H.

“Hey, you think we should get matching tattoos when we’re grown ups?” Vanessa suggests, the idea exciting her. Monique frowns as she drags her key over the wood.

“Don’t they use needles for that?”

Vanessa regrets the idea as soon as Monique says it; she’d forgotten about her friend’s fear. She decides to commit to the idea. “They do, but they’re all clean an’ safe. An’ you wouldn’t have to be scared cuz I’d go with you.”

Monique nods as she starts on Vanessa’s name. “I never feel scared when I’m with you. Except when Mrs Del Rio yells at us.”

“She’s a big baby. She just hates us cuz we would be better teachers than her,” Vanessa shrugs. It’s true.

“Well, what tattoo are we gonna get? We need to decide now so we can start saving up for it,” Monique questions her. Vanessa scoffs.

“How much do you think a tattoo costs? It’s like ten pounds, God!"

It’s Monique’s turn to laugh. "Nah, it’s way more than that! My brother’s got one and his cost a hundred and fifty.”

Vanessa lets out an outraged screech. “That’s a damn lie! You’re gonna go to the bad fire if you keep tellin’ lies like that.”

“An’ you’re gonna go to the bad fire cuz you just cussed.”

“Well, see you down there,” Vanessa shrugs. She considers Monique’s question. “What about we get BFFs in cool writing?”

Monique nods enthusiastically. “Yeah! With a heart maybe.”

“Yeah!” Vanessa agrees, excited about the prospect of their matching tattoos. She Googles “when can i get a tatoo” (spelling’s never been her strong suit) and lets out a groan at what she reads. “Ugh. We have to wait seven whole years.”

“You have to wait seven years, I only have to wait six!” Monique boasts, Vanessa sighing. She hates being one of the youngest in the class. She doesn’t have time to feel down for long though, as Monique shows her her handiwork with a flourish; MH + VM, scratched into the tree forever. “There! Best friends forever.”

Vanessa feels as if her smile is going to break her face. It feels like her body is made of the sun’s rays. When Monique says that, high school doesn’t seem so scary any more.

“Where we gonna get these tattoos anyway?” Monique speaks again. Vanessa’s smile turns wicked and she can barely get her thoughts out without laughing.

“Imagine we get them on our butt!”

Vanessa thinks Monique’s Gran might be able to her them screeching with laughter from the top floor of her tower block.

***

Things change though, despite the promise they make. Monique doesn’t think either of them mean to break it but life gets in the way and God has other plans. It’s what she believes at least.

Though she doesn’t know what his plan was for separating her from her best friend. Monique cries for forty-five solid minutes when she receives the letter telling her what form class she’s in; she knows it’s different to Vanessa’s. Her Gran holds her tight and rocks her against her chest on the sofa while her brother yells at her to shut up and slams his bedroom door. Her Gran is full of comforting words: you’re a strong girl, and you’ve been through worse in your life than this, and this isn’t going to change a single thing, hush now. But it is going to change things. When she’s with Vanessa, Monique feels like she can take on the world. She brings out her confident side when she feels shy, matches every shriek with a screech, takes her mind off the fact that she lives in a shoebox fourteen storeys high in the air where the elevator doesn’t work and the stairwell smells like piss. She can’t imagine starting high school without her. She doesn’t want to imagine it.

Monique batters out of the flat despite her Gran shouting after her, dashes down the stairs like her life depends on it. Her heart feels ready to give out when she reaches the lobby and bursts out into the open air but she still unchains her bike from the rack outside, pedals madly to Vanessa’s house. The bike is too small for her now and it’s uncomfortable to ride but it’s all she has to get her to the person that matters most. She reaches the house and Vanessa’s Mama lets her in, and Monique takes the stairs up to Vanessa’s bedroom two at a time where they hold each other tight and bundle up in Vanessa’s duvet and sob and sob and sob.

But looking back, Monique knows she’d been a little dramatic that day. Not being in the same form class as Vanessa really is not the end of the world. They walk there together on their first day and give each other a tight, nervous hug before they each head to their own form rooms. Monique pushes down on the doorhandle and anxiety fills her body as she walks in, freezes at the doorframe. There’s about twenty other kids already in the room and the whole scene is a bit chaotic. There are two boys chucking a ball to each other across the classroom, some girls with hair in high ponytails screeching and playing Katy Perry out of their phone speakers. Even though Monique has sat through countless interviews with social workers, child psychologists and police officers, this is one of the scariest experiences of her life.

“Hey. You wanna sit with us?”

Monique’s eyes fall on a table of girls with skin just like hers and hair to match. Monique instantly feels 80% more reassured; she’s never seen a classroom with a colour palette like this in her life. She and Vanessa had been the only two girls in their year at primary whose skin colour had deviated from the sea of pink or almost-translucent. There’s one girl who fits that mold at the table with the others, and Monique thinks it’s funny that she’s got pale skin, blonde hair and blue eyes and still happens to be the odd one out.

The girls take her under their wing that first day, and the next, and the next. They’ve all gone to a different primary school from Monique and so are already closer than close, but they never make her feel like an outsider. Asia with the sleek, black hair that tumbles down her back has a sweet smile and explains all the in-jokes that Monique doesn’t understand. Antonia, the girl who invited Monique to sit with them, has an intimidating face and a skinny frame but a kind heart and always shares her snack and pens with her. Roberta- Bob- has a huge untameable afro and personality to match, and her cousin Monét isn’t dissimilar apart from the fact that her hair is wavy and caramel instead of jet black and curly. They bicker with each other and gossip about their teachers and make Monique laugh when she’s down. And Brianna is kind and caring and is always able to put a smile on Monique’s face.

Before long, it seems like Monique has made five new friends without even having to try. She wishes she could say she’s friends with Vanessa like she always used to be, but that would be lying.

Because Vanessa’s made friends too. They’re the girls Monique’s Gran always warned her about- friends with the devil and they’ll lead you on a path straight to him. Akeria and Silky make a reputation for themselves at high school within a week of the year beginning. They mess about in class, text during lessons, Silky starts fights with other girls in the corridors that her victims never have the balls to finish. Akeria flirts with the boys and the rumours say she’s had her first kiss already. They backchat teachers and keep cans of spray paint in their bags and walk along the train tracks to the depot after school to spray their wobbly initials on the side of freight trains.

But despite the fact they don’t hang out as much in person any more, that doesn’t diminish the light that Monique keeps burning in her heart for Vanessa. They bump into each other in corridors and chat excitedly in the five minutes they have between lessons, smile and wave at each other from across the lunch hall, and they still text each other and walk there and back from school together. Well, until just after the start of Year 8. Vanessa starts getting a lift from Akeria’s Mum in the mornings and hanging out at the shopping centre with her and Silky after school. It’s not her fault, and Monique supposes she’s no better- Monét lives on Monique’s route to school so the two of them start walking together instead, and after school the girls often go to the chicken shop in town and shovel down wings to make up for the disgusting school lunches.

By her second year of high school it’s almost like Monique has a new best friend.

But she doesn’t want to think like that, so she’s overjoyed when it gets to the start of Summer, just before the last term of their second year ends, and Vanessa’s texts change from general small-talk chit-chat to an invitation to have a sleepover at her house at the weekend. Monique feels embarrassing levels of excitement as she texts back confirming she’ll be there.

M: Are your other friends gonna be there??

V: nah just me n u

And it is just her and Vanessa. It’s a gorgeously sunny day and Vanessa’s Mama puts up a tent in the garden that they can camp out in. It’s nice to be back with her, talking and giggling and laughing about stupid stuff. Vanessa laughs uproariously as she tells Monique about Silky and Akeria’s latest exploits and Monique listens nervously, anxious just hearing about them.

“Do you join in when they do stuff like that?” Monique asks her, after a story about how Silky signed her name in the same Sharpie she does her eyebrows with on a toilet cubicle door and got detention. Vanessa shakes her head, smiles bashfully.

“Nah. I tell ‘em it’s good to keep someone onside in case we get into trouble. The teachers’ll let us away with more if they like one of us. 'Least that’s my excuse,” she explains. Monique smiles, reassured.

“I didn’t think you were like them,” she says, relieved. She thinks Vanessa narrows her eyes at her, but she blinks and her expression has changed. Vanessa’s started wearing makeup and it suits her, even though her foundation is maybe a little off-colour. The mascara she’s swept onto her lashes opens up her eyes a little more and lets Monique see the twinkle that seems to be permanently shining in them.

She is so pretty, and Monique wishes she could look like her.

They talk as if nothing has changed over dinner, various barbecued meats grilled on a disposable barbecue Vanessa’s Mama got from her work. Monique has never had a barbecue before and she decides that burgers charred to within an inch of their lives are the best thing she’s ever eaten. They make smores from chocolate digestives and marshmallows for dessert and Monique howls with laughter as the chocolate and marshmallow melt down half Vanessa’s hand and she licks it off as her Mama rolls her eyes, goes to find her a hot cloth and mutters in Spanish that Monique doesn’t understand but knows is long-suffering. She has almost forgotten the way Vanessa can make her belly laugh just by acting the fool. Monique has spent two whole years not even knowing how much she’s missed her friend, too distracted by her new ones.

When it’s time to go to sleep they both cosy up under Vanessa’s duvet that’s been dragged outside and a sleeping bag each under that. Every available pillow and cushion in the house has been utilised in lieu of a blow-up mattress but the set-up is still comfortable, even though it’s pitch-black both in the tent and outside. It might be the end of June but it’s still cold once the sun goes down, and Vanessa has shuffled up near to Monique in a bid to try and keep warm. Vanessa being so close makes Monique feel warm on the inside as well as the outside.

“Hey, you know that rumour about Akeria kissing Dean from Year 9?” Monique pipes up, interested. “Is that true?”

Vanessa rolls onto her tummy to face Monique, and her eyes are sparkling with mischief even in the dark. It makes Monique’s stomach do a flip. “Yeah. They did it at the food court after school one day. You wanna know what else?”

Vanessa’s face is so full of glee that Monique can’t help but nod in anticipation. She’s almost in fits of laughter as she tries to get the secret out. “He tried to get her to touch his…you know!”

Monique lets out a screech that is equal parts horrified and amused as Vanessa dissolves into giggles too. “GROSS! Did she do it?”

“Ew! What do you think? Of course she didn’t. That shit’s nasty.”

There’s a pause in which Vanessa lets out a few more giggles. Monique doesn’t. She’s silent. She’s thinking.

“I wonder what it’s like.”

Vanessa’s voice is loud in the silence of the night. “What? Touching a boy’s-”

“No, idiot!” Monique laughs, explaining herself. “Kissing someone. Wonder if it’s as nice as people say it is.”

Vanessa falls quiet as well. Monique wonders what she’s thinking. She decides to break the silence. “You ever kissed a boy?”

Vanessa lets out a snort. “Come on, M’nique, you know I ain’t.”

“No I don’t!” Monique protests, her voice dropping to a murmur as she feels herself pout while she speaks. “I feel like I don’t know anything about you anymore.”

They both fall silent, and there’s a shift in the atmosphere that Monique can’t quite put her finger on. Vanessa lets out a sudden giggle.

“What?” Monique asks awkwardly, unsure if she’s meant to be in on the joke or the butt of it.

Vanessa’s face is scheming. She laughs a little, buries her face in her pillow before she speaks. “You know we could practise?”

Monique is slow on the uptake at first. “Practise? Practise what?”

She realises as Vanessa lifts her head and gives another giggle. Monique lets out a screech, takes the pillow from underneath her head and thumps her friend with it. “Ew, Vanessa! Ew, ew, ew! You’re so weird!”

“Oh, c’mon! I don’t wanna go kiss a boy and then be really bad at it, then he’s tell his friends and they’d tell their friends and then the whole school would think I’m shit!” Vanessa insists. Monique’s heart gives a very loud thud as Vanessa inches her face close to Monique. She’s not taken her makeup off and her mascara is all smudged around her eyes like makeshift eyeliner. She looks really pretty.

Monique shoves her away back onto the pillows. “I ain’t doin’ that shit with you! Ask Akeria since she’s so experienced.”

“But I don’t wanna practise with Kiki! I wanna practise with you!” Vanessa says matter-of-factly. Monique’s stomach gives another churn. Something is different, something has changed. Monique isn’t sure what it is or what to make of it.

“Well, tough shit. We ain’t…practising,” Monique huffs, turning her back to Vanessa and letting her eyes burn holes in the flimsy tent walls.

Vanessa’s voice comes from her side of the tent. “Fine! But if they call you…shit, I don’t know…Washing-Machine Mouth Monique…don’t say I never warned you!”

Monique lets out another huff, squeezes her eyes shut and wills herself to sleep. She feels weird. Her heart is going too fast and her stomach feels fizzy and it takes her a moment to realise her face has gone all hot.

“M’nique?” Vanessa’s voice comes from the darkness. She ignores it. “You mad at me?”

She sighs, rolls her eyes even though she knows Vanessa can’t see. “No.”

“Okay,” Vanessa says. Her voice is soft, and she rolls over onto her side. She rests her head against Monique’s back and puts an arm around her. They hug all the time, but this one feels different. It’s nice, though, and Monique feels warm and safe. “I’m sorry we haven’t hung out much. You know. Like we did in primary.”

“I’m sorry too,” Monique sighs, bringing a hand up to pat Vanessa on the arm. She ends up simply leaving it there.

“Hey, we should hang out more in the Summer! You know you can always come round to mine,” Vanessa continues.

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” Monique murmurs, letting out a heavy sigh. She’s not lying- it would be nice. She knows she could never have friends back to her flat because they don’t have the space and besides, most of them wouldn’t even want to set foot in the high rise anyway. Monét’s parents are doctors and Asia’s Dad is a barrister and her Mum is a lawyer, and Bob’s parents work in something accountant-y, and they all live in big houses with sweeping paved driveways and garages and gardens the size of the Emirates stadium. Granted Antonia’s Mum and Dad both work two jobs to pay the rent and Brianna’s Dad is a dustbin man while her Mum stays at home to look after her baby sister, but at least their families are happy ones. Monique has never known the luxury of a fancy house or a private garden or a car or a perfect, cookie-cutter family. She wonders if she ever will.

She’s pulled out of her thoughts by Vanessa giving her a gentle squeeze, cuddling closer. She didn’t think it would be possible but she somehow manages it, and Monique isn’t complaining. “G'night, M'nique.”

Monique is too tired to think any more. Vanessa’s arms feel comforting around her, and she chooses to settle in them. “Night, 'Ness.”

#rpdr fanfiction #ortega #2003 #vanique #vanessa vanjie mateo #monique heart #best friends to girlfriends #lesbian au #high school au #fic challenge #diversity fic #s10 #black girl magic fic #tw mentions of implied child neglect #tw brief mentions of drug use

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hol-whore · 5 years

Text

here’s the other jolyne fic i’ve been working on since like.,,, early november/late october? it’s long. boy howdy is it long. but it’s soft! hopefully!

jolyne x fem s/o – delicate

You and Jolyne have a late night adventure.

what’s on the menu: 4.8k words, fluff AND smut that i like to call “sugar, spice, and everything nice!”, tender emotions, eating out (no-pun-intended), and a jolyne who loves to tease. because i’m gay.

“-and then, you wouldn’t believe it, she ACTUALLY ate it.”

“No joke?” “No joke.” Jolyne promises with a smirk, slurping down the last of her soda and setting the now empty cup down on the table gingerly. She leans back and drapes an arm over the back of the booth as best she can, turning her head to look out the window with a sigh and observing the dimly lit empty parking lot outside.

The tacky fast food joint you and your girlfriend were holed up in was never super busy, and 1 AM on a Friday morning was obviously no exception. Not that either of you had anything to complain about; being the only people in the small establishment just meant anything you talked about was between the two of you and whatever poor employee overheard your wild conversations.

You watch as she reaches her arms above her head to adjust one of her buns and brush a section of her bangs out of her face. The hem of her already short shirt rides up past her belly button, revealing faint abs and stopping just before the shelf of her chest, and the muscles in her strong arms flex as she tugs her hair into place. You stick your straw in your mouth in a desperate attempt to distract yourself from staring.

It was futile, really — you knew that. The pink blush already dusting your cheeks was all Jolyne needed to even decide you’d been staring, and of course she took advantage of it immediately. A whisper of a grin crosses her features before she gives an exaggerated yawn and stretches both arms far above her, even leaning back in her booth slightly for emphasis, earning you an excellent view for just a moment.

“Aw, well,” she sighs, a low grunt forming in her throat once she brings her arms back down, “that wasn’t a totally shitty midnight snack, but we can’t stay here all night.”

“Do we...need to go home now?” you ask softly as Jolyne slides out from her side of the booth and cocks an eyebrow. “I mean. Not really? But plush blankets sound better than pleather burger joint seats...” “No! I didn’t — I didn’t mean we stay here, I just meant… I’m not really ready to go back yet, is all.”

There wasn’t anything wrong with home; frankly, you preferred being home far more than anywhere else around. And since home, lately, had been ‘Jolyne’s place while her dad was away for work’, well…it was safe to say home was more than ideal.

There was just something about the liminal late-night-early-morning hours that soothed your heart. It felt like time stopped once the sun set, possibilities were suddenly endless, nothing stood between you and living a little.

It was freedom --- freedom you relished in, and freedom you wanted to share with the love of your life.

Jolyne gives a short, breathy chuckle, taking your hand as you leave your booth before dropping a satin kiss on your cheek and fishing her keys out from her pants pocket with the other. “Fair enough. I’ve got somethin’ I wanna do, anyway,” she says fondly, then gives your hand a squeeze as the two of you head back to the car.

You have no idea what she has in mind. All your prodding and pleading is met with a quick smile and glance as your girlfriend works through the streets towards the edge of town, music turned up to a comfortable volume and the windows rolled down just so.

Knowing further questions are pointless, you shift your attention to watching lights outside roll by, muttering the words of whatever dorky pop song was playing on the static-ridden radio under your breath. Jolyne all too often catches herself looking past her shoulder to your spot on the passenger side, sometimes for maybe a bit too long. The way your hair whips back in the breeze of the open window and the way your eyes squint on occasion pulls on her heartstrings, a loving ache building up in her chest as she watches you by the light of passing street lamps. You were so, so dear to her, and you drove her crazy with the tiniest of gestures, intended or not.

She grins wide, turning her attention back to the road fully to turn onto a gravelly road only labeled “Orange Gardens Park” and reaches over to place her hand on your thigh. “Almost there, baby. Look familiar?” she says, her voice a song on the wind as she gives the swell of your leg a loving squeeze.

It was familiar — this was the same park she dragged you out to the night she’d kissed you by something that seemed like an accident, the night she fessed up her love and you’d found yourselves closer with each other than ever. The sentiment makes your breath catch in your throat, and your mind fogs up with the memory as you follow her out of the car to find somewhere to settle.

———

“That is NOT Orion. Lookit — no belt.” “....whatever. It’s close enough. We’ll call him… Orion II.”

Jolyne snorts, rolling into to your side as the two of you lay in the grass on the blanket she kept in her car for picnics and random adventures like these. She drapes her arm over your abdomen and presses yet another kiss against your cheek, this time yawning in your ear and kissing the corner of your jaw. “You’re hilarious, baby. A real riot. One helluva comedian.” she muses sleepily, then nuzzles her face against the side of your neck.

You feel your heart warm as you relish in the gentle comfort of feeling her breath against your skin, and the softness of her teasing voice. It was a different kind of teasing from the feisty jabs she usually directed towards others, this kind instead tinted with a quiet adoration.

The warmth in your chest washes over the rest of your body as you shift your shoulder under Jolyne’s head and bring your arm around her back to run your hands through her hair, thankful she’d taken her usual buns out before laying down with you. You loved how cute they were on her, but you felt bad trying to maneuver your fingers through the taut strands between them. It never hurt her — you just figured it was uncomfortable. Jolyne leans into the gesture, sighing happily and gently brushing her thumb across your stomach a couple times.

Shit. She really was something else.

The calm stillness of the night and the comfort of Jolyne next to you tempt you towards sleep, and the only thing that whisks it away is a whisper breaking the quiet between you.

“...you’re wonderful. Y’know that, right? Do I say it enough?” she murmurs, voice cracking slightly from trying to hold a low volume.

Jolyne wasn’t exactly known for being romantic or delicate, but you and anyone close to her knew she could be as sweet as she is tough and spontaneous. Loud grocery store trips with you had the same place in her heart as holding you in bed, heart raw with emotion merely over the bond you shared. Today just must’ve been one of those days.

“Only multiple times everyday,” you giggle, rolling on your side to face her better and pressing a kiss to her nose before she can stop you.

“Noooo, listen, you mean the world to me. Honestly. I...I dunno what I’d do without you, and I don’t like thinkin’ about it. You just get me, and you make me happy, a-and when I’m with you there’s this grip around my heart that makes me wanna do anything and everything for you.” She sounded almost shy; she did frequently express her love, but rarely ever in such a raw manner. “Oh, Jojo....” You think for a moment, trying to find words to match hers. “You’re so comforting to be around, and you’re always so enthusiastic and determined and I feel li-” You’re interrupted by the force of soft, waxy lips smushed against your own, the shock of it almost knocking the wind out of you. She tastes faintly of her cherry coke from earlier, and the scent of bubblegum lipstick and the jasmine perfume she steals from you clouds around her like a sweet mist. It’s messy at first, the grogginess of you both not exactly mixing well, but that doesn’t last long.

There’s a pause, and Jolyne pulls away with a soft apology for the sudden gesture then props herself up on her elbow and rolls you off your side and onto your back for ease of access.

She plants a light kiss to your forehead, then scoots in closer to the side of you of you gingerly, one arm sitting to the side of your head to hold herself up while the other cups your face. You lean into her hand and sigh happily, losing yourself to the romance of it all.

Her laying over you like this always did something to you --- it was so incredibly tender and intimate, her soft gaze ever-adoring, both of you finding comfort and warmth in each other’s eyes. And simply by the gentle smile on her face, you could tell she was thinking something along the same lines.

She leans in after a bit with renewed energy, the glaze over her eyes washing away as she breaks from her own romantic thoughts, and ruffles your hair as she kisses your lips. It starts as a handful of small smooches, but quickly melts into something more like a make out session.

“Mm, Jojo,” you mumble between sugary kisses, earning her attention, “where’s all this coming from? You were falling asleep mere moments ago.” She pulls away, and you faintly see her roll her eyes in the pale starlight before a more crooked grin spreads across her face, and the hand cupping your cheek moves down to rest on your stomach.

God, she was so cute.

“Dunno. Guess you just tend to have that effect on me, babe. C’mere, I’m not done,” she whispers. Her voice is laced with sleepy romance as she brings your mouths together again, struggling through her wide smile.

Her teeth graze against your bottom lip in a gentle bite. The hand on your stomach eventually roams elsewhere, first dropping to trace underneath the waistband of your pants and pausing when you whine in response. Jolyne breaks away from your kiss, pride written plainly on her flushed face, hand drawing back up slightly. A brief, teasing laugh falls from her mouth at your reaction, and you suddenly feel very hot.

“Whoops. How’d that happen?”

The question isn’t genuine, of course. She knew how to push your buttons, and she knew just when to push them. It turns out all of the love talk and minute gestures tonight had you feeling a stir somewhere deep inside yourself — and as far as you could guess, Jolyne was feeling it too.

She looks towards her hand as she scruffs the faint tuft of hair beneath your belly button, humming with fond satisfaction and muttering a quiet “so cute” under her breath, and you watch with careful curiosity as she sits up. Jolyne shakes her arms out a bit, then turns and stretches her leg over you, situating herself on the lower part of your torso and locking you in a straddle. She rocks ever so slightly, aiming to get comfy, and heats up at the feeling of your raised knees pressing your thighs against her back. Ginger hands brush hair from your face, and Jolyne looks thoughtful as she stares down at you.

“Is this, uh. Is this alright? Comfy? W-We can go sit in the car instead, or just skip it altogether, it’s just,” she breathes, somewhat fragile, followed by a weak laugh punctuated by her hands holding yours yet again, “I can’t seem to keep my hands off tonight.”

You flush, and only muster a nod before Jolyne is upon you, a soft smile almost immediately gracing her features as she leans down to kiss your forehead and slides her hands up your sides, thumbs firmly pressing into the underside of your breasts, and you decide you don’t regret not wearing a bra before going out earlier. She gives them a gentle push, and you feel slick between your thighs when she pulls your shirt up to your shoulders. You groan ever so quietly, and Jolyne - bright eyes taking in every bit of you, loving your reactions - almost growls at the sound.

She mostly delights herself in just admiring your body, at first. You feel rightfully exposed under her gaze, but in a way that you welcome warmly. She traces every contour of your body with her curious, fiery gaze, frequently coming to rest on your chest. The hunger in her eyes in undeniable and, damn, was it hot.

“Look at you, baby. I live for all this,” she praises after a beat, and her hand drags over your sternum and then slides a finger down the valley of your chest. You shudder at the sensation, your back arching in a small wave. She grins once again, then runs her hand back up your sides and across your collarbones, slow and tantalizing. “You’re just so gorgeous and sensitive… ooh, and I bet you’re dripping wet already, too, huh? Just from having my hands on you?”

Fuck, that got you.

Your hand, resting lightly on her hip, tenses some and it does not go unnoticed.

“Wh-What on earth makes you think you already have me that bothered,” you grumble, practically posing a statement instead of a question. In truth, you weren’t sure how to respond to her — but you could make a pretty good guess, considering how your time together had been going. She had you wrapped around her pretty fingers. “You’ve barely started. It’s been mostly sappy talk till now.”

Jolyne cocks her brow, then scoffs as lovingly as one can. “I know how you are, cutie. You make short work of yourself waaay before I can really touch you,” she stops for a moment, then something crosses her face before asking, smug and unrelenting, “Now, is that an invitation for me to investigate?” Her shoulder rolls slightly to reach back, threatening to search for your core somewhere beneath her.

Without thinking, you shift a little under her and make a desperate grab for her hand to fill the now-chilly empty space on your chest again before she can make it very far. A dangerous smirk spreads over her face.

“Ooh, needy. So that’s how it is today, hmm?” she taunts, bringing her hand forward again and ghosting a thumb over your hardening nipples. She rubs a gentle circle over it a couple times, then finishes it off with a sturdy pinch, tugging somewhat. You gasp and buck hopelessly up into her, not finding pressure in the right spot, then you force your hand up to place it over hers as you wince. Jolyne laughs a little, touching your cheek fondly with her other hand. She intertwines her fingers with the hand holding yours for a moment, then lowers herself to your neck.

Jolyne presses a few kisses thereabout, kneading and groping your chest arrhythmically and chuckling when you whine and whimper, then ducks down to wrap color-smudged lips around one of your nipples and sucks gently. You feel her teeth graze the bud on occasion, and every now and then she’ll tease you with the tip of her tongue or push you closer with a soft yet definitive bite. Sometimes she draws away just to kiss or suck on the warm skin around your areola; never enough to seriously bruise, but not rarely leaving a mark. Whichever breast isn’t occupied by her mouth at the time receives the gentle brushing of her thumb over the blossomed bud. She has you hopelessly aroused, tender nipples almost aching from the attention, and you thread your fingers through her hair to get her attention.

“Jojo, I want you t— “ Shit. She looks up at you with half-lidded, gorgeous eyes and terribly smeared lipstick, moving the attention away from your sore breast after a couple reassuring kisses to any marks she left, and it catches you completely off guard.

“Hmm? You want what, babe? Do I need to back o-”

“No! N-No, please don’t stop, it’s just. I want you to…y’know.”

“I do not, no. But I could probably guess,” Wryly, Jolyne kisses you and brushes her thumb over your lips. “Why don’t you tell me what you want, baby girl, just in case?”

You never had a way with words, and trying to figure out how to tell her to do such lewd things, to touch you more, to eat you out, to slide those beautiful long fingers in you and give you what you need proved to be…well. Difficult, to say the least.

“C-Can you…” Nope. “I need-” Also no. “...touch me?” Yikes.

Jolyne was never big on torturing you, or even being degrading — she loved you a bit too fondly to go that far — but suddenly, you just seemed to be asking for a fair taunting.

“I’m already touching you, sweetheart. C’mon, just tell me.”

You breathe deep, wanting to complain that she knows what you mean, as Jolyne encouragingly strokes your cheek, then grabs your breast and gives your nipple a pinch yet again. A huffy whine escapes your lips, your back arching again just so. Jolyne looks amused.

“I...want your hands on me. I-In me. And I want you to…taste me?”

She raises her eyebrows and smirks. “You want me to taste you?” she asks, pressing for details, “Why, that could mean anything.” With a smug look coating her face, she kisses your cheek. “You taste alright there-”

She was driving you crazy. “Jolyne! Just- just….e-eat me out, please?”

Jolyne looks far too delighted as she kisses your lips one last time and scoffs, a smile still gracing her features. “Pfft. Whore.” Then, thoughtfully, “That makes two of us though.”

You laugh at that, short and distracted. Part of you hated how turned on the whore comment made you; the other part knew that, given the situation, it didn't matter that much. Jolyne eases herself down, settling her hips between your knees after tugging your pants down and off your legs. She presses two fingers against you, feeling you through your underwear, then grins and bites her lip. “Oh my god, you’re adorable. I was right. So, so wet already, huh?”

Knowing her, she was twice as soaked as you were.

Jolyne tugs the fabric of your dampened underwear to the side. She swipes her finger up your entrance a couple times, loving the warmth and wetness of your folds. You were so ready for her, and she loved being the cause for all your pleasure. You feel her thigh and hip tremble slightly farther down your body. Clearly, she was enjoying herself.

She slides that same finger in slowly, your sex taking her entirely too easily, and after a couple pumps she slips another in and presses her thumb to your clit. You can only gasp, hand darting to her head and gripping a fistful of her hair. Jolyne groans and looks up to your face.

“Someone’s having fun,” she practically sings. Her fingers curl just so and search for that spot that absolutely wrecks you; and Jolyne knows damn well when she finds it.

Your thighs tense and you can't stop the moan falling from your lips, followed only by a breathy whine. Her fingers working a bit rougher at the sound, Jolyne winces and pants somewhat. “That’s a good girl, yes please, baby doll,” she says dreamily. Her mind was getting ever so hazy, and she was hopelessly wet from watching you squirm and hearing every noise you made.

You feel her buck into nothing between your legs upon hearing another of your moans and the lewd, sloppy sounds of her fingers pumping through you, and she's shifting uncomfortably for a moment after. Through lidded eyes, you watch her pull her fingers out, suck on them briefly, then take a moment to bring her hand to her own region and grind against it briefly.

“God, if I had my strap,” she huffs, voice dripping with lust as she finally pulls your underwear down and off, then settles in once more with her head at your waist, “it would be Smashville for you, babe. One way ticket.”

You laugh through labored breaths and roll your eyes, then spread your legs and reach forward to touch her head. “Th-That's the lamest thing you’ve ever said,” you mutter. Her fine hands slide under you, rounding the space between your thighs and ass. She winks up at you and bumps her shoulders in a half shrug. “And yet, here you are, still seconds from doing the splits ‘cuz your legs are so wide.”

…She had a point.

Jolyne breathes deep, then presses a handful of slow, full kisses to your inner thighs, inching closer towards your entrance with each one but never quite getting close enough. Each kiss drives you closer to an invisible edge, and you squirm and gasp when she pauses right next to your slot to kiss even deeper before moving to the other thigh. It’s obvious Jolyne is smiling more and more as she goes along; your heart swells at the intimacy of it all.

Just as she inches close again, you groan loud and gasp her name, and your legs shift to make room for her face, expecting her to move on. A beat skips, and Jolyne suddenly makes a frustrated noise and presses her face into one of your thighs. It’s oddly endearing, but still startling and concerning, and you have to stop the giggle in your throat to check on her.

“J-Jojo, is everything-”

Another groan.

Then, a muffled something.

“...what?”

She tilts her head to look at you from your thigh, a smile spread from ear to ear. “You’re just so fucking cuuute! Shit dude, I dunno, I haven’t even gotten that far and I’m trying to focus on going down on you, but you keep being adorable and I can’t stop smiling! Cut it out!”

Of course that’s a problem.

“What? I didn't do-”

One of Jolyne’s hands slip out from under you, dramatically covering her mouth as she rolls to one side somewhat, her eyes squinting shut. She moans out loud through her hand, whiny and mocking. “‘Mm, Jolyne! Oh, ahh, no, Jojo, please!’”

“I do NOT sound like that.” you grumble, flushed face heating up further at her theatrics.

“You literally just did it, baby. Not to mention -- I am very acquainted with what you sound like.” She looks more proud of herself than she ever has before, then her face softens as she slips her hand back around your thigh and preps herself to enter again. “Ready, sweetheart?” she asks, patting your leg somewhat and kissing under your belly button.

You nod, aching to finally feel her tongue against you. Jolyne takes a breath, then presses a light kiss to your clit followed by a dart of her tongue. Electricity courses through you, but before you can process it further, she continues. Her tongue laps just against the outside of your folds, faint and gentle and teasing, and it has you shuddering and gripping the blanket laid out on the grass.

One, two, three more light licks, the best kisses she can manage along the vertical, a brief kiss then suckle on your clit. When you jerk in her direction, she gives your clit just a couple more indulgent small, quick licks. Her hands grip your hips as she angles your pelvis up just enough and draws you closer to her.

You feel your mind pass the hazy stage and go straight to absent as Jolyne finally dips her tongue in you, the shallow depth entirely too exciting. She grunts and moans, something that sounds like it got mixed with a snicker on the way out, and you move to grab her hair again. The work her tongue is doing has you feeling like you're on another planet.

Each incoherent shape made with the flicks of her tongue, each break for a long, slow lick, each time her nose bumps your clit-- they drive you mad. Anytime you moan than a whisper or call her name you feel Jolyne fight a smile. She hits a particularly good stroke and you cry out louder than you anticipate, and when she sends vibrations through you with the snicker she lets out by accident you feel twice as wet as you did before.

Somewhere in you, a familiar string is tightening. You gather the strength to give Jolyne’s head an encouraging rub then clutch her hair again. “H-Hey, Sir Laughs-A-Lot, I’m close-” you manage, your breath heavy. Jolyne hums a response, then pulls herself slightly closer to get in deep. You throw your head back and your thighs clench and you do your best to not squeeze them together and smother Jolyne between your legs as you come hard. Jolyne gives a couple slow, long licks to help you ride your climax out before planting one last small kiss against your folds and pulling herself away from your sex.

Lust and exhaustion lid her darkened eyes, your arousal coating her entire chin. She gives you a wet kiss, then wipes her face with the corner of the blanket and collapses on top of you with her head on your chest. You were both exhausted in the best way possible, and the feeling of Jolyne’s fingers gingerly rubbing your collarbone as she sighs dreamily makes you feel like you could fall asleep right in this park.

“You did so well, Jojo. Thanks,” you whisper against her hair. You feel her cheek push against your chest in a smile. “Thank you,” Jolyne mutters back, “for the meal. Everything was delicious, chef.”

Oh god. “If you ever talk about my pussy like it's a five star restaurant meal again, we’re gonna have a problem.”

“Damn, you’re right. We don't have nearly enough money for a wedding anytime soon....” she mumbles, sighing.

You roll your eyes. As much as you hated to admit it, it was really funny; you were just entirely too tired to appreciate it.

The sky above shows a different scene than you remember seeing before your….adventures. Clouds had meandered along their horizons, trudging along like ships at sea. The moon had traveled quite a bit, partially hidden by a dusky cloud, and tree frogs croak and croon from somewhere distant.

“We should probably get home,” you whisper, dragging your hand across her back and kissing her head.

Jolyne heaves a dramatic sigh and kisses your collarbone. “Yeah, I guess…I had a great time tonight, baby. Thanks for letting me drag ya out here. We should come back for a picnic or some shit another time when it's light out.” She pauses, and you feel something sly change in her before she even speaks. “We could set up somewhere kinda set apart, have our lunch...mmm, and if it was too hot out we could lose some clothes-”

Your mind falters imagining it, Jolyne’s sweating, toned body pulling her shirt off to reveal nothing more than a bra and lots of muscle, faux innocence in her eyes when she taunts you with “what’s wrong, baby girl?”, the way her hands would rest on your body after urging you to lose your clothes as well, the inevitable contact between the two of you --

“...and you would suck on these pretty tits to keep your mouth shut, and if we got caught…I mean. I’ve been arrested before. It’s not that bad. Might even be worth it.” She winks up at you as if everything she just said wasn't vile and vulgar as all hell. The horrified-yet-intrigued look on your face makes Jolyne smirk, and she pats your stomach twice before sitting up and helping you with your clothes. You gather the blanket in your arms and walk back to the car, a weird sense of calm washing over you both. Jolyne turns the key and grabs your hand, pressing a light kiss against it before putting the car into drive and starting the ride back home.

You knew you would both crash as soon as you got into bed, and in the morning you’d be too tired to do much of anything. Jolyne’s father wasn't due home for a couple of days; you’d have the house to yourselves with no concerns. You wanted to shower with her in the morning, you think, then cuddle up in comfy clothes and sit in each other's arms and Jolyne would come up with some silly game to play or turn on a cheesy horror movie. But for now, all you had was the hum of the engine, the static-ridden radio, and Jolyne’s hand in yours, and you didn't want anything more.

#'atlas this is messy' BIG oh well #jolyne cujoh #jolyne x reader #jjba #jjba fanfic #my writing #not sfw #hmmmm i like this one but nerves #'atlas this is STILL ooc' oh well #i've reread this so many times for clarity and errors askjfhbsjk

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megs-writing · 5 years

Text

Ship: Logince (fluff) Starring Logan being a cute nerd and Roman joining his excitement for the stars. Warnings: Not sleeping, | Characters- Logan, Roman Word count: 1097

The words on Logan’s computer screen started to blur in front of him. His notebook was covered with scribbled notes and doodles to match the essay he had been working on since 9:00- the time when most of the sides hid in their room and went to sleep. Logan usually stayed awake in his studies, researching whatever he was interested in at the time, and tonight it was stars. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine being there, floating in space and looking at the galaxy surrounding him. His pen clicked on the desk a few times trying to bring him back to reality.

The time was growing closer to 1. Normally Logan would stay up until midnight with his work, but this night was different. Refusing to admit how tired he was he switched to another tab, looking at the articles he found to help him with his work. He planned to reach his goal of 1,000 words by tonight, and he planned to reach that goal if it meant going to bed at sunrise. That is if he could think straight enough to make sense of the words in his head and put them on paper.

Sudden hands on his shoulders almost made him jump out of his seat. Once he gathered himself up again he turned to see Roman laughing at his reaction. Logan would have told him off if he could think of words to say. Instead, he started to block him out when Roman placed his hands on him again in the most playful way he could.

“Bedtime was ten. What are you still doing up?” Logan tried to think of something to write so it would look like he was still busy.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Roman paused at his answer, trying to think of something to respond with.

“...Not tired.”

“Neither am I.”

“Really?” Roman turned the chair so Logan would face him instead of the computer. It was hard to tell in the lighting but it wouldn’t take much to see the loss of sleep in his appearance. It wasn’t the first night Logan had stayed up until 2AM either. Thankfully we weren’t that far in the night and bedtime could still happen before then. Roman stared at him for a second before glancing behind him at his work, starting to get a new idea. “Alright. What are you working on?”

“Astronomy.” Logan turned back to the computer to show Roman what he had been putting his time into for the past week. “Space in general. Just looking at the stars and galaxies and the planets makes you want to-... just look at it.” He switched tabs to a collection of pictures he had gathered in a presentation just to look at. Stars glittered in the mix of dark purple and blue gas that floated in space with the rest of the universe. He collected pictures of the planets, each with a different pattern of colors mixing in with each other. Logan’s face lit up trying to explain what he saw in the pictures.

“Alright, I’ll make you a deal.” Logan paused to listen to whatever Roman was about to say. “I can show you those-” Roman gestured to the glittering picture in front of them. “But you gotta go to bed right after. So will I.” Logan stared at the picture, trying to imagine the world Roman was talking about. Sure the twins could make anything in the imagination, but Roman didn’t know anything about the stars. It didn’t seem like it at least.

“You wanna take me to see the floating lights?”

“Tangled. Nice. Never took you for a Disney fan.” Logan shook his head, staring back at the screen.

“I don’t have time. I need to finish this.”

“It’ll help.” Roman tried pushing a little more. “You ever wondered what stars would look like in person? Maybe if you want to think Logically I would say seeing the stars in person would help make your project more accurate. But if you wanna be not lame you could come because it’s fun. I saw how excited you were there.” Logan blushed thinking about how he smiled in front of Roman.

“Just a few minutes, then we’ll come back, right?”

“We have a deal?” Roman held his hand out in front of him for Logan to take. The moment their hands touched Roman pulled Logan out of his chair and led him out of his room and to the front of the imagination. In Roman’s room there was a pathway disguised as a closet that took anyone entering to a whole new world in the imagination. Usually the entrance was a forest with glittering trees and a bright blue sky with silver clouds- the default to Roman’s side. He could change it without entering, and altered the scene to something he thought Logan would love. He hoped, at least. He got this far.

After a breath Roman walked though, taking Logan with him by the hand.

The world around them changed into a long grassy field only lit with starlight. Dim stars surrounded them mixed in with red and purple stardust. Instantly Logan’s grip on Roman’s hand lightened.

Logan raced over to the scene and held his hand up to the clouds taking in the warmth of the stars. Not scientifically accurate, obviously, since if they were actually in space they would be dead. But the imagination equivalent of seeing a tiny galaxy in person was just as amazing. Logan’s eyes reflected the swirling colors in excitement, before turning and looking at the millions of stars, all seeming to be in the right places according to his studies. Planets appeared up close blending in with the rest of the scene, which made Roman worry that he was starting to overdo it, but Logan’s smile grew brighter when he saw them. It seemed like you could reach out and touch Jupiter with your own hands.

_ _ _ _ _

Logan rested his head on Roman’s chest, staring up at the galaxy above them. It was all silent except for the soft sound of breathing and the faint sound of Roman’s heartbeat. He was asleep but him laying there was all the company Logan needed. Roman was gentle, resting his hand on Logan’s chest. All that work Logan forgot about would have to wait now. Tomorrow they would go back and rejoin the sides in their everyday routine, but neither of them wanted to leave here.

With the whole world silent, Logan started to drift asleep.

Taglist: @winterrs-child @remusthedukeofdeodorant @thecatchat @stop-it-anxiety @znikitrash @awkwardandanxiousfander @nowletmeseeyourkezzhands @prox-xima @hela-daughter-of-loki @arcticfrostdoesthings @yalltookmyurlideas @id-rather-go-live-in-a-trash-can @soupgromlin

#megan's writing #logince

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the-duke-of-deodorant · 5 years

Text

Ship: Logince (fluff) Starring Logan being a cute nerd and Roman joining his excitement for the stars.

Warnings: Not sleeping, | Characters- Logan, Roman

Word count: 1097

Sudden hands on his shoulders almost made him jump out of his seat. Once he gathered himself up again he turned to see Roman laughing at his reaction. Logan would have told him off if he could think of words to say. Instead he started to block him out when Roman placed his hands on him again in the most playful way he could.

“Bedtime was ten. What are you still doing up?” Logan tried to think of something to write so it would look like he was still busy.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Roman paused at his answer, trying to think of something to respond with.

“...Not tired.”

“Neither am I.”

“You wanna take me to see the floating lights?”

“Tangled. Nice. Never took you for a Disney fan.” Logan shook his head, staring back at the screen.

“I don’t have time. I need to finish this.”

“Just a few minutes, then we’ll come back, right?”

After a breath Roman walked though, taking Logan with him by the hand.

The world around them changed into a long grassy field only lit with starlight. Dim stars surrounded them mixed in with red and purple stardust. Instantly Logan’s grip on Roman’s hand lightened.

——

Logan rested his head on Roman’s chest, staring up at the galaxy above them. It was all silent except for the soft sound of breathing and the faint sound of Roman’s heartbeat. He was asleep but him laying there was all the company Logan needed. Roman was gentle, resting his hand on Logan’s chest. All that work Logan forgot about would have to wait now. Tomorrow they would go back and rejoin the sides in their every day routine, but neither of them wanted to leave here.

With the whole world silent Logan started to drift asleep.

Taglist: @winterrs-child @remusthedukeofdeodorant @thecatchat @stop-it-anxiety @znikitrash @awkwardandanxiousfander @nowletmeseeyourkezzhands @prox-xima @artist-of-insanity @hela-daughter-of-loki @arcticfrostdoesthings @tinydemondragon

#logince #ts fanfic #logince fluff

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aliferous-ly · 5 years

Note

Id love to see C3 D6 if ur up for it mdude!!!!!! 💜💜💜

hey babe ily

C3 – florist/tattoo au. D6 – patton x virgil

flowers and ink

(side warning for needles talk about piercings/tattoos etc and a deceit mention)

“You’re offering applications?” Roman asked, waving the papers like they were Willy Wonka’s golden tickets. “You? Like some sort of grocery? Anyone could pick these up!”

“How else am I supposed to do it?” Virgil demanded, shoving a whole set of needles into the trash (honestly. Honestly. His old employee was such a messy person). “Talk to my friends? Hey, by the way, do you know anyone who’s really good with a needle? Asking for a friend.”

Roman groaned and smacked the papers against his forehead, leaning against the countertop dramatically. “You’re a disaster. At least put together a website.”

“I have a website,” Virgil protested. Hands on his hips, Virgil pointed at Roman with a piercing gaze. “You helped set it up.”

“You cannot call that a website,” Roman said, horror coating his tone. At Virgil’s wordless stare his mouth gaped open. “Virgil! We made that on weebly at three am!”

“I just haven’t gotten around to making a real one, is all,” Virgil said. He turned away pointedly. “It’s fine.”

“Man,” Roman groaned loudly in the only way Roman could. “I really hope this works out because I do not have high hopes.”

“Thanks,” Virgil said. “Now get out. You’re wasting air and space.” He pushed against Roman’s broad shoulders towards the waiting door.

“Rude!” Roman gasped, pushing back against Virgil’s plying fingers. “I’m your blood and bones! How dare you–”

The tinkle of the door bell sounded and the two of them froze when a small, soft voice piped, “Oh, I’m sorry! I saw you had walk-ins, I didn’t realize you already had someone!”

Virgil peered around Roman’s figure (jesus, why did he get the football genes, he didn’t even play sports) and felt his heart drop out of his chest.

The man standing at the door was wringing his hands, the gentle curve of his lips hinting at dimples. He was devastatingly gorgeous. Oh, fuck.

“Oh, I’m not a customer!” Roman said cheerfully, the bastard. He grabbed Virgil by the shoulders and placed him in front of him. “I’m just his brother. I man the counter when he’s busy, which I see he will be momentarily.” And then, as if Roman wasn’t being humiliating enough, he winked at Virgil.

Virgil barely restrained himself from clocking him right then and there, and instead settled for kicking him in the shins discretely while plastering on a smile. “Hello. I’m Virgil Foley, owner of this establishment. Are you–” he cut himself off before saying here for an appointment, or a walk-in? and instead took a breath. “I mean, are you here for a piercing or ink?”

“Um, ink, I think,” he said, blinking a few times before his smile widened. “Ha, that rhymed!”

Virgil’s heart stuttered and he smiled weakly (is this what sunshine is like? Virgil should go outside more). “Alright.”

After running through a few more scripted lines to learn vital information about his customer (learning his name was Patton, and that he wanted a bird on his collar, to match his best friend’s tattoo, and that he’s been planning to get a tattoo for a long while but just never got around to it).

“I should be getting floral tattoos, now that I think about it!” Patton said, laughing. After hearing his laugh for the first time, Virgil knew, without a shadow of a doubt, two major facts: one, he was a goner he was truly a goner, and two, he was going to put all of his effort into making him laugh again.

“Why?” Virgil said, prepping his needles.

“Well, I’m a joint owner of the florist shop just across the street,” Patton said.

Virgil looked up, startled. “You co-own Daylilies and Poppies?”

“Yup!” Patton beamed at him and Virgil felt something akin to standing in front of a particularly rare and gorgeous gemstone. Or that awed stare of seeing the ocean for the first time. “Wanna know a secret?”

“Sure,” he said, uncertain he would ever be able to say no to Patton.

“Logan – that’s my best friend – said we had to have flowers in the name, otherwise people would get confused,” Patton said. “But the name of the store has my name and my cousin’s name in the first letters!” He smiled, looking all too delighted by this fact.

Virgil smiled, small and quiet. “That’s cool.”

“His name is Dee,” Patton said helpfully. Virgil nodded, unsure how to respond. Patton kept going, all through the pain of needles and stopping only when Virgil told him how to keep it clean, how long to keep the bandage on, and other information he recited like an infomercial.

Virgil reached up and brushed some hair out of his face, a little bummed out that Patton was leaving, and that he hadn’t gotten his number (how unprofessional – asking for a customer’s number? Virgil would rather die). How he probably wouldn’t see Patton ever again.

Patton stalled at the front, however, after paying. Virgil didn’t say anything; what could he say? What could he do?

“You’re hiring?” Patton said, then.

“Sorry?” Virgil said, head shooting up. He peered at Patton, who’s gaze was locked on the pieces of paper Roman had carelessly left on the countertop (Roman himself was in the back for a reason too stupid for Virgil to recount).

Patton picked up one of the papers, eyes scanning the print.

“Oh, yeah.” Virgil’s hand rubbed against the back of his neck. “My old employee left a little to be desired, so I fired him. I’m looking for more help. It’s not really… an entry level job. I mean, I’m not taking on an apprentice. You have to have a license and everything.”

“Oh, I have…” Patton waved his hand as if attempting to catch the words he was trying to say. “Logan, my best friend, has a license, he’s been looking for a job.”

Virgil blinked, then leaned across the counter. “Really?”

“Yeah, I’ll – I’ll bring this to him,” Patton said, holding up the paper. “And I’ll see what he thinks?”

“Thank you that’s… that’s really nice of you,” Virgil said, possibilities swimming under his skin. Would he see more of him would Patton be a bigger part of his life is luck real –

“If he accepts we’ll be seeing a little more of each other,” Patton said. He laughed, but Virgil could read his own hope in the tightness of his grip on steadily crinkling paper, in the push back of his shoulders, in the avoidance of his gaze.

“I’d like that,” Virgil said, softly. “And if he says no, then you’re still just… just across the way.”

“You’re right!” Patton said, entire demeanor brightening, and Virgil could taste starlight. Patton folded the paper haphazardly and shoved it in his pocket. “Thank you so much for the tattoo.”

“Thank you for coming,” Virgil said, a hallow echo as Patton waved goodbye, the bell sounding brightly as he left.

Virgil groaned, shoving his head in his hands. He was such a disaster. At least he knew where to find Patton (oh wow, that didn’t sound creepy at all) and possibly, just possibly found a new employee…?

At that thought Virgil’s head shot up, because if he hired Patton’s friend, then that meant the papers worked… a grin worked its way onto his face.

“Roman you thot!” Virgil called out to the back. “Guess who’s idea worked!”

Roman burst from the back, a disgruntled expression on his face. As they argued over the logistics of this “Logan” being hired (Roman called Logan, the person he’d never met before, a lowly being and a sprinkler. Virgil wasn’t sure how that was an insult, but, again, it was Roman) Virgil didn’t stop thinking about Patton, in the back of his mind.

You’re just across the way.

Virgil glanced out the window at the bright, pastel colored flower shop, and something in his chest brightened.

#somedayyyy i'll get thru em all for now it's just one by one #moxiety #ts sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #platonic prinxiety #deceit mention #this is also setting up for logince #just imagine in rolls tatted up logan who probably wears leather and can ride a moterbike like thats too much for roman's gay heart #meanwhile logan's trying to keep it cool in front of this large exuberant theater kid #anyway hope u enjoy fdhklshfkdsfld #rose-gold-roman #brabbles

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day-writingdaydreams · 5 years

Text

Lucy’s Bad Day

Summary: When your day feels like your living in Murphy's Law, sometimes you have to walk through the bad to get to the good. Lucy's having a day that we could all relate to.

AN: Inspired by the song “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter

This story can also be found here

Rated T for Language

Fairy Tail and All of its wonderful characters belong to Hiro Mashima

Lucy was having a bad day. A really, really bad day.

She woke up with a headache that came out of nowhere, only to find out that she was out of pain medication when she finally stumbled into the bathroom. She groaned in agony, then turned to take a shower, only to realize that her hot water wasn’t working after she stepped into its frigid stream. ‘Yet another thing to complain about to that cheapskate landlady,’ she decided after she calmed her pounding heart that the freezing water had jump started, and hoped that her pounding head would soon follow suit. ‘Fuck, it hurts to think!’ She winced, closing her espresso colored eyes in pain.

After getting dressed, she went into the kitchen to start her morning brew. Problem was, she was out of coffee. ‘Son of a-,’ she cut herself off, closing her eyes and taking a breath. Instead, she decided to go to the little cafe near her Strawberry Street apartment for her daily caffeine intake.

There was a certain pink haired, green eyed hunk of a barista who worked there who might just be able to brighten her day.

Lucy grabbed her bag of writing supplies and exited her living quarters. Surely she could get a little inspiration for her next novel while she was enjoying her repast.

The blonde had decided to stop at the pharmacy along the way to the cafe to buy some headache medicine, only to realize that she left her wallet at home once she had gotten to the register.

Giving herself a facepalm, she quietly groaned to herself, “Fuck my life…”

“Having a bad day, dearie?” The kindly older woman behind the register inquired, giving Lucy an understanding look.

She gave the cashier a rueful look as she slowly removed her hand from he face. “You don’t know the half of it,” she bowed her head as she laughed mirthlessly.

If she didn’t laugh, she most certainly would’ve started to cry.

Lucy turned to go, calling over her shoulder to the kind woman as she exited, “I’ll be back soon. I don’t live far from here.” She then raced back to her home, berating herself the entire way there.

As promised, Lucy came back to the store a few minutes later. She was in a panting mess, her ragged inhales and exhales causing her still pounding headache more pain. The cashier gave the younger girl a look of sympathy when she spotted the wince of pain flittering across her face.

“I do hope that you feel better, dearie,” the older woman said with kindness as she rung up the blonde’s items. “It’s always darkest before the dawn, and I’m certain that your bad day will get better.”

Lucy blinked at her, then gave her a warm, if pained, smile. “Thank you,” she said with sincerity. “I really hope that you’re right.”

After finally making her purchases and exiting the pharmacy for the last time, Lucy once again started for the cafe. She was more determined than ever to have her beverage of choice, take her headache medicine, and to hopefully engage in a brief conversation with the sexy-as-hell barista with the pink hair and killer smile.

Unfortunately, with a block left until she had finally reached her long awaited destination, the gray clouds that had been low hanging all day had decided to open up with a crack of thunder and torrential downpour.

This stopped the blonde in her tracks in shock. When she finally recovered a moment later, she was already soaked to the bone. She glowered at the rain clouds above her and shouted loudly in an incredulous voice, “Seriously?!”

Lucy stomped the rest of her way to the cafe, no longer caring that her heavy footfalls were causing the fast forming puddles to splash higher onto her legs, nor that they made the pounding in her head worse. She grumbled expletives under her breath the entire way until she was finally able to shove open the entrance of the Fairy’s Tail Cafe, grateful for the shelter from the storm.

Soon, however, her sopping wet shoes made contact with the glossy floor tiles, causing her to slip and lose her balance. Before her mind registered that she was, in fact, about to fall on her backside, a pair of warm, strong arms grasped her around her middle to steady her.

“Whoa, are you okay?” A rough, masculine voice inquired as the dazed girl glanced towards its source. Eyes the color of moss filled her vision, followed by strands of pink hair as her rescuers bangs fell in front of them. Those eyes widened in recognition a moment later, causing the male before her to smirk. “Hey Luce! Have you started falling for me now?” He joked, his voice filled with mischief.

Gaining her footing once more, Lucy ignored the flush on her cheeks as she playfully swatted at her rescuer. “Cut it out, Natsu. It’s not my fault that I got caught in the rain,” she complained with a sigh as she removed herself from his grip. “Why aren’t you behind the counter, impressing folks with your ‘latte art’?”

“Well,” he started, grabbing something that was bright yellow from behind him, “someone had to put up the ‘wet floor’ signs,” he said as his smirk evolved into a toothy grin.

The blonde groaned, shaking her head before grabbing at it, regretting the motion as she closed her eyes in a wince. The morning’s headache had intensified, and if she didn’t down her meds with some caffeine soon, she didn’t know what she’d do.

Seeing the pain on his friend’s face, Natsu’s smile morphed into a look of concern. “Why don’t you go sit down. I’ll bring over your usual, it’s on me today,” he said as he took her arm to guide her over to a plush sofa.

“Oh no, you don’t have t-“ Lucy started to protest with a whimper while still holding her aching head.

“I can tell that your day hasn’t been the greatest. You're soaked from the rain and obviously in pain,” the pinkette interceded as he gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “Just...let me take care of you for just this once,” he said softly.

Lucy looked up at him through her long, dark lashes and gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you,” she replied as she lowered her hand from her head, “but could you at least give me a towel so that I don’t ruin the couch?”

Natsu snickered at her complaint, taking in her bedraggled appearance once more, noticing not for the first time how her wet clothes were clinging to her curves. “Okay, fine,” he started with mischief mixed in his eyes. “Besides, the drowned rat doesn’t really suit ya anyways, ya weirdo,” he teased her as he walked away to grab the requested item.

Lucy growled at him, puffing her cheeks out in annoyance.

He had to hold back a chuckle when he saw the look she gave him as he turned back to face her, handing her some dish towels.

“We don’t really keep towels here, but these are clean and dry at least,” Natsu explained as he set another set of dish towels down on the couch for her to sit on. “You should probably use one for your hair…” his voice trailed off as his hand went to move a stray lock of hair from her face. He caught himself before he completed the movement, cleared his throat and forced himself to take a step back. “... because… you don’t want to get sick, right?” He finished a little nervously. “I’ll go get your order,” he said as he turned to head behind the counter.

‘I wonder what that was all about,’ the blonde thoughtfully hummed to herself as she sat down on the covered sofa, took a towel, and started on her hair.

Lucy’s hair was about a third of the way dry when she heard a bit of a commotion coming from the area behind the counter. She looked up to find Natsu cursing at himself as he cleaned up the mess that he created; coffee and milk was spilled on the counter and dripping onto the floor. She giggled at the sight.

He looked to her when he heard the most beautiful sound coming from her rosy lips. He smiled at the fact that he could make this angel laugh when she was having such a shitty day, then quickly looked away before the weirdo could catch him staring at her. It wasn't long before the pinkette was finished cleaning up the mess and getting started on creating her drink.

Being a barista had some benefits, and Natsu wasn't above utilizing them. He carefully crafted a delicate fairy into the foam of her salted caramel latte and added a little extra sweet treat to the tray before he trekked over to where the blonde sat.

“So Lucy,” Natsu began as he carefully set down her latte and a chocolate croissant on the table in front of her, “I was wondering…” He waited a moment as she admired the ‘latte art’ before she popped her medicine into her mouth and took a sip of her drink to wash it down. “Would you like to see the new Marvel movie with me tomorrow?”

Lucy nearly choked on the hot liquid in shock, resulting in a coughing fit that nearly cracked her ribs. “W-what?” She sputtered, blinking up at the green-eyed hunk she’d been ogling over for what seemed like forever with bleary eyes.

Natsu cackled as he patted her back to help. “I asked if -,” he said in between his fits of laughter, “if you wanted to see a movie with me tomorrow.”

Finally catching her breath, Lucy blinked the tears out of her eyes and leveled him with a look, a small smile creeping onto her face. “Why Natsu Dragneel, are you asking me out on a date?” She asked coyly, a light blush settling on her features.

“...maybe I am,” he said as he scratched at the back of his neck nervously, his face slowly matching hers in color. “So… whaddaya say, Luce? Wanna go out with me?”

Her smile grew as her pulse quickened, a warm feeling of excitement lit her from within like a burst of starlight. “I’d really like that,” she answered brightly.

The pinkette gaped at her in awe. “...yeah?” he answered, a grin slowly spreading across his face.

Lucy giggled at his expression, but it made her feel so good.

And the best part?

Lucy’s bad day just got better.

Fin.

#my fairy tail fanfic #Val tries to write #nalu #fairy tail nalu #natsu x lucy #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #Lucy’s Bad Day

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derpyslurpy-da-derp-master · 5 years

Note

All the personal asks plz

Alrighty then!

1. Any scars?

Mhm, pretty much all the scars I have are burns. One is from burning the side of my arm on an iron my mom had standing upright that I brushed against trying to reach something on the counter behind it and I’ve got one or two other scars from my culinary class on my hands from trying to put a tray in the oven and bumping it on the rungs above the ones I was putting it on. I burnt my hand day one of actually cooking. Yes I’m a disaster.

2. Self harmed?

Absolutely not. One, I’m too scared of pain, and two, I have uh… An unpleasant history involving someone else threatening self harm to make me do what they wanted, so… It’s a really sore spot for me.

3. Crush?

I honestly have no idea.

4. Kissed anyone?

Nope

5. Coke or Pepsi?

Neither they make me physically ill

6. Someone you hate?

There’s a LOT of assholes at my school but the person I hate the most is probably my dad for reasons.

7. Best Friends?

Mhm! I’ve got a handful on this site but my IRL best friend is @theansweris-a. She doesn’t really get on tumblr anymore but if you’re reading this I love you friendo and have a good day! :D

8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs?

hahaha fuCK NO. I’d rather not get addicted to something that can and will kill me and throw my money at people to sustain it. If someone offered me either I’d probably flip them off whilst slowly backing up and getting tf out of there because NO.

9. What’s your dream job?

Author/Illustrator with some VA work and Video Game directing on the side.

10. Ever been in love?

I have. It was with someone I didn’t have a chance with and who would be an absolutely awful lover to me since we weren’t compatible emotion-wise so I let it go. It was hard, but I did it.

11. Last time you cried?

Last Sunday trying to explain to my mom why our preacher and the church we go to has completely fallen out of my favor for it’s very loud blatant ‘LGBT people are bad abortion is evil insert other white conservative stuff here’ ‘cause she doesn’t know I’m LGBT+ (and it’s going to stay that way) and I was trying to explain to her why I would never say invite my LGBT friends to church because they would be mercilessly persecuted by people who call themselves followers of God then spit in his eye by doing the exact opposite of everything he’s asked of them. Yes I still feel really strongly about this.

12. Favorite color?

Cyan!

13. Height?

How coincidence, I just got it measured today! 5′6, FINALLY OFFICIALLY TALLER THEN MY MOM MUHAHAHAHAHA

14. Birthday?

November 17th!

15. Eye color?

Milk chocolately-brown

16. Hair color?

Dark brown

17. What do you love?

this is so open ended hjkfjfjkhgkjh okay then I love girls, video games, anime, writing, drawing, reading, and animals.

18. Obsession?

My top 3 in order of obsession; Kill La Kill, RWBY, and Kingdom Hearts.

19. If you had one wish, what would it be?

For every single illness, disease, syndrome, disorder, and so on to have a cure. From Cancer to Asthma. Both because I have so many incurable diseases/disorders and because I know there are people out there who have things so much worse than me in that department.

20. Do you love someone?

I love all my mutals, friends, and most of my family including extended family.

21. Kiss or hug?

I’ve never been kissed so I don’t know anything about how that would be so I’d say hug because I love hugs!

22. Nicknames people call you?

Derpy, Slurpy, D-Slur, Resident Cinnamon Roll (That’s my actual nickname on a Revue Starlight discord)

23. Favorite song?

this is like asking me to pick my favorite child uhhhhh… This Life Is Mine by Jeff Williams, it just means a lot to me.

24. Favorite band?

i know no bands by name

25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you?

….Okay, uh, this is gonna be really hard to decide because a LOT of bad things have happened to me. I’ll go with the more physical choice because I’d rather not dump too much of my emotional baggage onto yall. One time I was being prepped for surgery and they needed to get the IV in. (for the record I’m shaking pretty badly right now from thinking about this) They had to stab my arm with what they called a ‘Bee sting’ (it wasn’t a bee sting it goes almost down to the bone) that had numbing stuff in it and they were trying to find a vein they could put my IV in but they couldn’t find one (okay now i’m typing really fast so I don’t have to think about this for long) and they kept stabbing my arm over and over again. The thing is I have a serious phobia of needles that sends me into panic attacks, I’ll go lightheaded I’ll lose my hearing and so on. So I was trying to put a brave face on despite my parents not even being there but they would. not. stop. They didn’t give me a break. It was one stab then another then another then another. I was having a full blown panic attack, I was almost crying. Then they seemed to get it. They left me for a bit and my parents came in. My arm started swelling. They HADNT got it. My arm was being filled with whatever my IV was. They came back in with the beesting. They started stabbing me again but on the other arm. I couldn’t keep a brave face anymore after thinking they were finally done. I started to cry and sob and the panic attack I had that day was the single worst I have ever had. It got worse. They missed a vein entirely and instead hit a bundle of nerves. My hand started involuntarily twitching as pain unlike any I’ve ever felt before or until now wracked my arm. I had actual trauma from this, the night after the surgery I kept feeling ghost pains of the stabs in my arms, I had to sleep on my stomach with my arms wrapped around my front just to make them go away. I’m still extremely traumatized of this to this day. I never want to have surgery again. I never want an IV again.

Okay that got away from me there I’m sorry I kinda was having a panic attack while writing that. Anyways moving on.

26. Best thing that has ever happened to you?

This is gonna sound cheesy but meeting @theansweris-a. She’s the sweetest and kindest person I have ever met in my entire life and I feel so incredibly lucky to call her my friend, though knowing her she’ll see this and reply with ‘No U’ because we always end up in a shouting match of ‘YOU ARE A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING’ ‘NO YOU’RE A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING’

27. Something you would change about yourself?

I definitely would lose weight. Not because of societies bullshit but because I legitimately want to lose weight so I can actually get strong and build up some muscle, I WANT TO BE ABLE TO OPEN GATORADE BOTTLES GODDAMNIT

28. Ever dated someone?

Nope, I’m closeted and have no interest in even pretending I’m straight by dating a guy, I mean I know some genuinely nice guys (all of them dorks) but they’re all just my friends though they are massive goofballs and I love them very much. (Entirely platonically)

29. Worst mistake?

I… Don’t think you guys wanna know that. It’s nothing bad its just depressing and I don’t wanna be more depressing then I already have been.

30. Watch the movie or read the book?

Depends on which is better, like I’d rather watch the Chronicles of Narnia than read the books because the books are honestly terrible but I’d rather read Percy Jackson than watch the movie because the movies are incredibly unfaithful to the books.

31. Ever had a heartbreak?

Yeah…

32. Favorite show?

Kill La Kill!

33. Best day of your life?

My cheesiness never ceases but the first time I actually hung out with @theansweris-a IRL at the mall. I remember being SO excited for it but also nervous that how easily we talk to each other wouldn’t translate into real life and I remember spotting her walking up and practically shouting her name before running up and giving her a big ol’ hug whilst crying happy tears (I know i’m sappy shut up) and then when we were let loose to walk around we quickly discovered that we clicked almost immediately and incredibly well it was just the best thing ever. Like, in that one day alone we spent six hours in that mall just chatting and buying stuff and having fun and we left the mall with like three different inside jokes despite it being our first time meeting in person since we first met. Hi my name is Derpy and I’m a big ol’ sap.

34. Any talents?

I’m pretty good at writing, I can type really fast, and I can play the harmonica.

35. Do you wish you could ever start over?

Absolutely not. Things are the way they are for a reason, and even though I’ve been through a LOT it’s because of all that that I’m the person I am today and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

36. Any bad habits?

Yeah, I’m a nail biter.

37. Ever had a near death experience?

Yes actually, when I was 3 or 4 we took a plane to California to visit some relatives and I almost walked out of the air hatch one the way out, I remember this vividly even though it was a long time ago. If it wasn’t for the flight attendant grabbing me before I fell out, I wouldn’t be here today.

38. Someone I can tell anything to?

@theansweris-a and @my-words-are-light, they’re both really good listeners and have helped me through a lot of stuff.

39. Ever lost a loved one?

My Great Grandpa Ritch died shortly after I was born, there’s a lot of pictures of him smiling and holding me while in a hospital bed and hooked up to oxygen.

40. Do you believe in love?

Oh absolutely, 100%. I mean if you know me you already know that I have just ABSURD amounts of love in my heart and I genuinely believe that it exists.

41. Someone you hate/Dislike?

Wasn’t this already a question?

42. Are you okay?

Mostly, yeah. I have some stuff to work on but I’m honestly at the best i’ve ever been!

43. Relationship status?

I’m a Single Pringle

#Ask #Original

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littlemisssquiggles · 5 years

Text

miki-13 reblogged your photo and added:

Okay wow, they all look friggin’ amazing! Agh, I’ve already got so much I wanna draw and now you’ve added yet another picture I want to put on paper! @lythecreatorart’s looks so pretty in pink and it goes well with the black and white and brownish-orange, @che1sea-xiao-long’ looks so demure and lovely with the light green and orange and of course, @littlemisssquiggles‘ looks absolutely stunning in red.

I find it interesting you gave Ruby white as her main color scheme with some red on the side, as opposed to Rose who is in all red. It reminds me a bit of Utena, who used the white rose and was represented by white, as a color of purity. Which fits in with her being a simple soul and Blake’s description of her character (”Purity”)

It’s also interesting that you gave Ianthe a darker color scheme with this one. I’ve never pictured her in black or darker colors, but now I see she pulls it off quite well. (Oh my gosh, you made her so tiny and smol XD)

By the way, how did you figure out the dresses for everyone here? I’m curious of your thought process for them.

Squiggles Answers:

@miki-13 Thank you so much Miki-chan!

My thought process into the dress designs? Oh gee, not sure I have much to say on that but I shall do my best *salutes*

Well if I must admit off the bat, I went into this squiggle sketch work already knowing the type of dresses I wanted the first three Roses: Rosaline ‘Rose’ Fox, Ruby Rose and Rosalind ‘Lindy’ Fox to wear. With Ianthe Regem and Rosaline ‘Hoody’ Hood, I sought out the almighty power of Pinterest to aid with inspiration for their gown designs.

Let’s start with Ruby Rose: our leading Rose. Actually I’ll have to correct you, Ruby isn’t wearing white. Her dress is actually silver with just a pop of red. As I was telling Ly, I knew I wanted Ruby to wear silver instead of her more traditionally red outfits. Silver is another signature colour associated with Ruby that we don’t often get to see her rock so I figured why not give her a nice silvery lace dress made with a glittery material that made Ruby appear as if she’s dressed in starlight. I know you can’t really see here since these were more meant to be sketch concepts but you get the idea. Plus my main reason for having Ruby wear silver is based on a Rosegardening headcanon of mine where Oscar thinks Ruby looks more beautiful in silver since it matches her eyes. Again, red may be Ruby’s main colour however should she ever step out in a silver dress, I think she’ll turn heads. Especially Oscar’s. Buuuuut that’s just my idea XD

Next is my girl Rosaline Fox: As I mentioned in ‘Defining Rose Fox’, Rose is known for her beauty. Rose is a gorgeous and vivacious vixen who is fully confident in her looks. So I knew for a definite fact that I wanted her to rock a dress that shows off her splendour in a striking colour that would make her the apple of every man’s eyes.

For Rose’s gown, I actually drew inspiration for the style from Jessica Rabbit from ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit’. When I think memorable lovely characters, Jessica Rabbit was the first one that popped to my mind.

So Rose’s gown is influenced by Jessica’s from the slit that’s supposed to be up the side (pardon my sketch for not illustrating that better) to the open back to the gloves even down to her dress having a kind of shine to it. As a matter of fact, this is a cohesive characteristic that I decided to share with all the other Roses. So technically each Rose has one part of their dress that is glittery. Each Rose also wears a rose detail to their outfits, be it an accessory or detail of their dress. Like in the case of Rose where the single strap of her dress in an array of roses along with the belt around her waist. Not to mention the frills of Rose’s dress as supposed to represent rose petals.

Rosalind Fox: For Lindy, I’m not sure what type of personality @che1sea-xiao-long has in mind for her Rose but for me, I pictured her being the very sweet and gentle-hearted type. So I gave a dress to reflect that appeal. With Lindy, her green hood was one of the most signature parts of her design so I gave her this sort of green shawl to mimic that detail from her huntress attire. Everything else about her dress just fell fittingly into place. I knew I wanted the end of her dress and shawl to be decorated with orange roses since I dubbed her the orange rose (will explain that later). If I’m being honest, I just rolled with the first ideas that popped into my head with the rest of Rosalind’s dress and the end result just turned into a cute gown that I think suits her. I think it even got the Chelsea seal of approval.

Ianthe Regem: Yes, this is where things got a bit tough for me. With Ianthe, I wanted something cute but somewhat regal for her; if that makes sense. However I wasn’t sure the style I wanted to go with for her. This is where I sought good old Pinterest and found this really nice art of an anime girl wearing a dress that I thought would look lovely on Ianthe. Artist is Tobi Kotetsu

So I based Ianthe’s outfit off of that design. I figured a style like that would look adorable on her and my assumptions seemed to be proven right with your reaction to the look. Mind you, this is only a sketch. I may change this design later to maintain my original ‘regal’ style for Ianthe’s gown. But we shall see.

Lastly we have Rosaline Hood: She was the other Rose I needed a little help designing for. Ironically the two roses I went in blind to design ended up being the ones to rock black as part of their attire. Not intentional but it works. With Hoody, I also drew inspiration from Pinterest for the style of her dress. I found this really nice design for a dress with same kind of frills that sort of drape down from the torso like rose petals.

It reminded me of the way Ly designed Hoody’s huntsmen attire so I figured, why not add that detail to her ball gown. She certainly looks lovely with it. As for making her rock pink. Well as I told Ly, making Hoody the pink rose in the bouquet was a bold choice based on a whim. I understand that there were other rose colours that I could’ve used for her. I considered making her a peach rose. However the instance I slapped that hot pink on her dress, that was it. That won me. It looked absolutely gorgeous on her especially with the black. Not sure if Hoody is the type to wear pink but she looks lovely in it. Plus according to Ly, Hoody’s dress reminds her of her prom dress which makes my choice even more perfect.

So yeah, that was pretty much my thought process behind all. As I was telling @lythecreatorart and let me tag @che1sea-xiao-long in here as well, these were mostly just rough sketches of dress designs for a potential project I’m considering of doing with all the Roses including Ruby when I get the time to spare.

I called it ‘Bouquet of Roses’ and the gist of it is, Oscar Pine is basically our handsome Yellow or more fittingly Gold Rose Prince with eyes as radiant as the sun and a kind and benevolent heart to match. Prince Oscar owns a bouquet comprised of an arrangement of roses of different colours. The key roses are red, lavender, orange and pink roses and it is those roses that are represented by our Garden of Roses.

Ruby Rose and Rose Fox are our two red roses locked in a rivalry for the Prince’s affection to be his one true red rose (although Ruby could arguably be more of a white rose with her silver dress which could be used to symbolize her purity of heart as you pointed out. Not to mention that it’s a way to connect her to her mother Summer who was the original white rose). Rosaline Hood is the pink rose. Rosalind Fox is the orange rose and lastly Ianthe Regem is the lavender rose.

Seeing you and Ly create such great illustrations with the whole Garden squad has inspired me to do my own lil pet project to draw all the Roses together in my style. It’s also meant to be my shameless excuse to draw Oscar as a fairy-tale prince with Ruby featuring Team FRHR and everyone gets to wear dresses. That was the idea.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

#miki-13 #squiggles answers: rwby #oscar pine #rosaline fox #rwby: garden of roses #squiggles' bouquet of roses

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lilyvandersteen · 6 years

Text

Puppy Eyes Chapter 1

Read the Prologue here.

Also on AO3 and Fanfiction.net.

Shout-out to my wonderful beta @hkvoyage: thank you for following me on this new and crazy adventure! I’m so grateful for your feedback and insights ♥

Chapter 1: A New Client

Though Kurt hadn’t gotten into NYADA, he was pretty pleased with his life right now. He’d scored an internship at Vogue, and he’d gotten into Parsons, where he was studying fashion design. He’d quit working at the Starlight Diner to become a dog walker, which paid a lot more, counted as exercise and could be combined perfectly with his studies.

The only downside was that his days started really early. He had to pick up his first doggy client at 5.30 a.m., and he’d never been a morning person. Still, he was used to Rachel’s early morning hours by now. Like clockwork, she woke him up at five with her vocal exercises . At first, he’d wanted to strangle her, but now her fanatic regime came in handy to get him up and running at such an early hour.

He’d discovered dog walking when Neil, his partner for a design project, had come down with the flu, and had moaned on the phone that he was letting everyone down.

“Don’t worry about me,” Kurt had answered. “I’ll copy my class notes for you and I’ll work on the design by myself for now, and then we can develop it further when you’re feeling better.“

“You’re an angel,” Neil had sighed. “Now I only wish all the dogs I’m supposed to be walking today could walk themselves for a change. I really can’t get up, my legs feel like cooked noodles.”

“Wow. How many dogs do you have?”

Neil had chuckled and then coughed his head off. “They’re not my dogs, I’m just walking them. It’s how I make the rent. Dog owners here in NYC don’t want to take their darlings to the park three times a day. And God forbid they’d have to clean up after their precious Fifi! So they hire me for that. It pays really well.”

Kurt had hummed in understanding. “Hey, do you want me to walk your doggy clients for now? I’m good with dogs, I promise.”

Neil had thanked him again and given him the number of the dog walker agency, and after taking over Neil’s duties for a week to everyone’s satisfaction, Kurt had been given his own clients.

Today, a new one had been added to the roster.

“Just for a week,” Sheila had said. “His name’s Devon, and he’s a Portuguese water dog. You’re to pick him up at six in the morning, then at twelve, and then at six again. Will that work for you? The owner paid for one-hour walks, and asked to not just walk with the dog but also run and play fetch with him. Apparently, he’s very energetic, and if he doesn’t get enough exercise, he chews up everything in the apartment.”

Kurt had jotted the details down in his planner app, rejoicing that it was three times in one day, as well as an early bird assignment. Any walks before 8 a.m. were paid double, and before 6 a.m. even triple, so he was always glad to get those.

Kurt got up reluctantly as soon as Rachel’s voice broke through his dreams. He filled a thermos with coffee, grabbed his packed breakfast and lunch from the fridge and put on his dog-walking outfit: old jeans, a warm flannel shirt and a navy parka that repelled not only water but doggy paw prints as well.

His high school self would have been appalled at his outfit choices, but Kurt had learned that practicality trumped fashion-forwardness when dealing with dogs and dirty subway trains. Anyway, at Parsons, the bar was raised so impossibly high that people looked down on him even when he wore his most fashionable outfits. A vintage McQueen shirt paired with a Marc Jacobs vest and matching pants from last season did not impress anyone. Nor did his collection of scarves and brooches. Why bother, then? The few friends he had dressed casually, like he did. And in a few years, he’d be a designer in his own right. He could go back to dressing fabulously then.

Kurt took the subway train to Lower Manhattan, eating his breakfast on the way. His first assignment was a dog that had to be walked alone. Precious was docile and sweet, but did not react well to other dogs or other people, so her walks were kept short and were scheduled early in the morning and late at night, when the streets and the park were deserted.

After bringing Precious back, he hopped on the train to the Upper East Side, where he picked up Titus, and after him Snowball and Summer.

When he arrived at the new address, the man who opened the door blinked in sleepy confusion at Kurt and the three dogs he had with him, and let out a loud sneeze when Summer started to scratch behind her ear.

Kurt introduced himself and announced that he was there to take Devon for his walk.

The man sneezed again, rubbed his eyes, blew his nose, and then called over his shoulder, “Sweetcheeks, did you order a dog walker?”

“Shoot, I forgot about that,” was the answer, and a minute later, another guy hurried towards them with a black dog following him, and then overtaking him to race to Kurt and the other dogs. He came to a stop right in front of Kurt, sniffing at him and then sitting on his haunches and looking up at Kurt with a serious expression.

Kurt grinned at the dog. “I take it you are Devon, then? You ready to go out, champ? I’ll have to put you on a leash, I’m afraid. You want to smell my fingers first before I touch you?”

Kurt offered his hand for Devon to sniff, and then turned it over to softly rub the dog’s cheek. “What do you say? Ready to come with me on an adventure?”

Devon wuffed softly, and wagged his tail.

“I’ll take that as a yes!”

Kurt got another leash out of his backpack and quickly attached it to Devon’s collar. “Well, I’ll be back in about an hour, then. Bye!”

“Wait!” said the second guy. “Here’s the spare key. Could you, maybe, let Devon back in after your walk without ringing the bell so we can sleep some more? You’ll also need the key at noon. We’ll be out.”

Kurt took the key and rummaged in his backpack for a permanent marker to write ‘Devon’ on it. Once it was on his key ring, he said “Bye!” again, and took the four dogs out of the building and two blocks away to Central Park.

Snowball, as usual, strained at his leash in his eagerness to get there, his enthusiasm so contagious that even Titus sped up. Soon, Kurt was running to keep up, and it made him chuckle. Devon, the new addition to their party, seemed to fit in well with the group, and was clearly well-trained. When Kurt commanded his charges to stop and wait to cross the street until the walk signal went on, Devon promptly sat down and waited, while the others needed to be told firmly to stop and sit at least twice more before they obeyed.

In the park, Kurt took their leashes off and let them run free for a bit, while he looked for a nice stick to play fetch with. He had a few tennis balls in his backpack, as well as a Frisbee, but he didn’t know what Devon would prefer.

When he’d found a stick that would do, he let out a loud whistle to call the dogs to him. They bounded up to him with their tails wagging madly.

“Wanna play fetch? You wanna?”

Their wriggling butts showed quite clearly that yes, they wanted to play. Kurt threw two of the tennis balls in quick succession, and Snowball chased after them, barking, followed by the others. Snowball found one of the balls and brought it back to Kurt, leaving the others to squabble over the second tennis ball. Summer won that battle, and triumphantly presented her prize to Kurt, who rewarded both Snowball and Summer with an ear-rub and a dog treat.

Devon eyed the stick at Kurt’s feet and tugged at it with his teeth, growling.

Kurt laughed. “You want to catch that? All right then, let go and I’ll throw it!”

Kurt threw the stick, and after it both tennis balls. This time, Devon beat the others and came back with the stick, which he dropped in front of Kurt’s feet. Kurt praised him, scratching gently behind his ears and offering him a treat, doing the same to the others when they brought back the tennis balls. Titus came behind, sulking. He was the slowest of Kurt’s morning clients, and rarely joined in the fun and games, preferring to stick to Kurt instead to get petted, because he was always outrun anyway.

“Aww, Titus, it’s not fair that your legs are so much shorter than theirs, is it? Come here, boy.”

Kurt lavished attention on Titus, too, and then let the Frisbee soar. Immediately, Devon jumped after it, his body bent in a graceful arc and going higher than Kurt would have believed possible. The Portie caught the Frisbee mid-air, and proudly presented it to Kurt.

After some more throwing and fetching, Kurt put the dogs’ leashes on again and walked further into the park. “Well, lady and gents, you know the drill. Make sure you pee and poo before I take you back home.”

A vigorous walk later, all the dogs’ business done, scooped up and discarded, Kurt dropped them off at their respective owners, and went to pick up the next lot for their walk.

By the time he arrived at school, he was hungry again, so as soon as he’d slipped into one of the back rows of the auditorium for his History of Fashion lecture, he grabbed a banana and a granola bar from his backpack and devoured them in mere seconds.

His phone pinged with a reminder that he had a second class that day. For the spring semester, he’d enrolled in an extra class, paid for by Vogue, no less. Isabelle had entrusted the accessory section of the Vogue website to him, and now he needed to brush up on his graphic design skills to make that part of the website look good.

He was really looking forward to these lessons. There were two instructors who co-taught this class, alternating weeks, and both of them had an excellent reputation. One of them was Paula Scher, a big name artist in her fifties, who wore long flowing dresses, long flowing hair and clunky glasses. The other was Blaine Anderson, a very young guy who’d won a prestigious prize when he was barely twenty, but instead of capitalising on that to make his fortune, he’d chosen to teach.

Elliott had taken Professor Anderson’s Colour Theory class last semester, and raved over the guy’s talent… and his looks. Apparently, he was hot, and he had “the finest ass on the planet”.

Kurt had rolled his eyes at that, and quipped, “You dare to say that while I’m right here in front of you?”, jokingly grinding his ass against Elliott. But it had made him curious all the same. He hoped that he’d get to check out the hot professor today.

As soon as he came into the classroom, his hopes were dashed, however. Professor Scher stood at the whiteboard, smiling at everyone who came in and using the mouse pad on her laptop to start up a slideshow.

The exercises she made them do were interesting and funny, and the time flew by. Class ran over a little, and Kurt had to hurry to get to Devon’s apartment in time for his midday walk. As soon as he opened the door, Devon was there, his tail wagging like mad and his tongue hanging out in a doggie smile.

“You ready for your walk? Let’s go!”

#klaine fanfiction #my fic #puppy eyes #chapter 1

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joeybelle · 6 years

Text

Starlight - Chapter 22

Relationship: Cassian Andor / Original Female Character

Rating: Mature

Tags: Pre-Rogue One, Romance, Feels, Hurt-Comfort

The next few days were extremely tiring, but seeing that she was making progress was giving her enough strength to keep going. Training every day before or after her shifts was exhausting, but with the assessment closing in, she dismissed Cassian’s suggestion to take it slow. So he decided to add one hour of physical training a day, because apparently he was either very nice or a complete monster, no in-between. Or both at the same time, she couldn’t make up her mind.

So now she had half an hour of jogging around the base and half an hour of strength training every day, on top of weapons training, survival techniques, field training and everything else. Fortunately, she still remembered all the theoretical parts, the protocols (which, she just found out, no one really gave a shit about since they were nowhere as strict as the Empire), and anything that had to do with the medical aspect of her job. However, she absolutely sucked at hand to hand combat, as she found out one night, when Cassian mercilessly beat her ass.

She had never been great at it, she was well aware of that, but usually she was fast enough to avoid getting her ass kicked in a very humiliating way. This time, it wasn’t the case. Cassian was faster, stronger and could somehow predict her every move. She had always known he was fast, ever since she tried clawing his eyes out (the first time), but she had never seen him fight, and she had to admit, it was quite impressive. Before she could get close enough to hit him, she was either on the floor or in a chokehold.

“If it wasn’t for the humiliation part,” she said, trying to wiggle out of his grasp as she found herself immobilized in a chokehold once again, “I’d really enjoy this.”

Cassian chuckled, his chest vibrating slightly against her back. “Would you, now?” His breath tickled down her neck making her hair stand, but his lips never really touched her skin. Instead he let go of her, and without his support she just collapsed on the ground. “Too bad training’s over.”

“You’re such a tease,” she mumbled, vigorously massaging her aching muscles into working once again. She was glad training was over, for every fiber of her body hurt in ways she didn’t imagine to be possible until now.

“You should take a hot shower and go to bed ASAP,” he said, helping her up. “We’ll take it easy tomorrow, or you won’t be able to walk to your assessment.”

“Weapons training tomorrow,” she said, dusting off her clothes. “I’m very happy not to do physical for a day, but I still need the gun training.”

“As you wish. But I think you should take it down a notch before you hurt yourself.”

“Mhm,” she mumbled, taking a big gulp of water, “after the assessment I’m taking three days off and do nothing but sleep. If I don’t fail, that is…”

“Not much of an optimist, are you?”

“I’m not genetically programmed for optimism. It’s in my lineage.” She laughed, but it was true. They were all a bunch of sad, morose imperials. Well, whatever was left of her family anyway.

Cassian laughed and bid her goodnight once they were out, turning off the lights in the gym and locking the doors behind them. Cora dragged her feet to her room, her body heavy and uncooperative. She contemplated sleeping in the elevator for a moment, slouched in a corner, but her gym clothes were sweaty and her skin itchy. She probably also stank, but her sense of smell seemed to have diminished due to exhaustion. So she convinced herself to get into the shower and sleep there.

She was pretty sure she actually fell asleep for a few moments while showering and was only woken up by a knock on her door. Either that or she dreamt it, which was a lot more plausible because there was no way she could actually hear it over the running water. But dream or not, Cassian was on the other side of the door when she opened it.

“I brought you something to ease the pain,” he said, stepping in and showing her a jar filled with a weird, brown, gel-like substance.

“Thank you, but it’s ok,” she said, trying to fix the towel she had hastily wrapped around herself. “I took some meds, they’ll help with the discomfort.”

“So will this,” he said, unscrewing the lid, a pungent smell filling the room almost instantly. Cora scrunched her nose in disgust. “But faster and more efficiently.”

“Umm, no.” Cora took a few steps back, putting her hands up in defense, like he was about to attack her with the brown ointment. “It looks like dung. What’s it made of, anyway?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know. Now let me give you a massage, you’ll feel much better afterward,” he insisted.

Cora really wanted to tell him where he could shove his weird jar of bantha manure, but then she remembered how stubborn he could be, and if she could fight him to smear his wounds in bacta, she was sure he would do the same when he believed he knew better. And now she knew that he’d win, because she was crap at hand to hand combat and he’s already kicked her ass once that day.

“Ok, alright,” she sighed, throwing her hands up in despair. “But only if you promise you won’t fight me the next time I wanna smear you in bacta.” He let her arms rest on his shoulders, pulling him closer. If she was about to spend the night smelling like a witch doctor’s medicine cabinet, the least he could do was kiss her first.

“I won’t make promises I won’t be able to keep,” he whispered, kissing along her jaw.

“Won’t be able or don’t intend to keep?”

He chuckled and Cora realized she really didn’t mind being smeared in weird looking concoctions, even though she knew they were useless, as long as it made Cassian happy. The medic in her that opposed anything she considered to be snake oil was currently subdued by the woman that just wanted to see her man happy. It wasn’t that much of an effort to put her pride aside and for once do what someone else told her to do.

“Let’s get you into bed,” he said, before Cora could just fall asleep with her head on his shoulder. She nodded and yawned, taking her towel off and throwing it on the back of a chair.

If she imagined that what was about to come would be a sensual massage, oh boy, was she wrong. Although Cassian’s hands weren’t rough or heavy, he managed to find all the sore spots in her muscles, making Cora moan, and not of too much pleasure.

“You’re mean,” she complained, as the pain became a little too much, wiggling away from his touch. “You were supposed to be gentle.” She grabbed her sheets and wrapped herself in them, trying to find a little protection from his pain inducing fingers. There was a trail of brown goo on her pristine white sheets, and Cora really hoped it won’t stain. The smell, although pungent, wasn’t as unpleasant as she first thought. It smelled of herbs and sap and other things that she couldn’t identify, but it wasn’t bad.

“If I’m gentle you won’t be able to move for the next three days,” he said, trying to detangle Cora from the sheets.

“I don’t wanna move for the next three days, I wanna sleep,” she whined, sounding more pathetic than she expected.

Cassian sighed, but there was still an amused smile on his lips and Cora could tell he definitely wasn’t taking her seriously. “Just a little longer,” he bargained. “Five more minutes and I’ll let you sleep. I promise.”

Cora pouted and tried to murder him with her eyes but got out of the sheets, laying back on her stomach. “You have to cook for me again, if you ever want to forgive me for the pain you’re putting me through,” she said, when his hands went back to massaging her thighs. Cassian laughed and agreed to her conditions.

She flinched at first, but eventually managed to relax. Either she was getting used to it or he was being gentler, but it wasn’t as bad this time around. Her muscles didn’t ache as badly, but it felt like they were on fire, her skin red and hot. However, she was thankful. She realized how lucky she was to have someone to train her, to rearrange his whole schedule to match hers and after that to find the time to tend to her aching muscles and bruises, even though she was sure he was just as tired as she was. Although she wasn’t convinced the ointment was going to help, she was pretty sure the massage would.

Once she relaxed she started to feel sleep taking over. Her eyelids were growing heavier and her mind was becoming a little hazy. Trying hard not to fall asleep, she turned slightly and propped herself onto an elbow. She watched as Cassian massaged her ankles, a satisfied smile plastered on her face.

“What?” he asked, throwing her a glance from behind the curtain of unruly, black hair currently getting into his eyes.

“I never thought you could be this domestic,” she said, poking at his thigh with her toes, smiling stupidly.

He frowned a little in confusion. “What did you think I’d be like? Feral?”

“A little. You have this bad boy vibe, but you’re actually really sweet.” Cora snickered. “If you wanna know the truth, I thought you were really annoying at first,” she confessed. “Huuuuge stick up your ass. I just wanted to hit you over the head until I could break that infuriating calm attitude you always had whenever you came for interrogations.” Cora laughed at the memory.

Cassian however, didn’t. The moment she mentioned the interrogations he froze, his hands clenched on her ankles. He quickly pulled himself together, going back to rubbing her feet, but this time he was avoiding her gaze and his smile was gone. Cora’s heart sunk. She knew she had made a mistake. She hadn’t realized that talking about something that had happened so long ago could strike a chord, especially when it wasn’t the first time she had teased him about being much too serious on the job. She wanted to apologize, anything to break the sudden tension in the atmosphere, but she wasn’t sure what to apologize for and wondered if it wasn't better to just pretend she didn’t notice his change in attitude. Considering that they had jokingly insulted each other before, she didn’t think that he’d take that to heart. Maybe he was just tired.

“I’m sorry,” he eventually said, breaking the silence. He was looking down at his hands, tracing the outline of her foot with his fingers.

“For?” she asked, sitting up on the bed, panic clearly visible on her face.

“For bringing you here,” he said, turning his head slightly to look at her, his voice low and remorseful. “For not keeping my promise.”

Cora let out the breath she was holding and slumped back against the pillows. So this was what it was all about. She frowned. She really didn’t want to have this conversation now (or ever, for that matter), for there was still so much resentment. And even if that resentment wasn’t directed towards him, she still didn’t want to voice it. But it seemed like she had no choice. Not when he finally apologized and she saw how much it affected him.

“It’s ok,” she said, forcing the words to leave her mouth. “I mean, you were right,” she said, looking at her fingers, her turn now to avoid his gaze. “I see it now. If you would have left me alone on a strange planet I would have been dead, or worse, would have fallen into the hands of the Empire. I just… I just wished I had seen it then. Understanding that you had a job to do and did what needed to be done at that point, and so did the Council, would have saved me a lot of energy and there would have been less bad blood.” She smiled weakly, hoping that he’d just accept it and leave it at that.

“I shouldn’t have done it anyway.” There was a sort of resolve in his voice, that gave Cora the impression that he had been thinking about it for a while and they weren’t just empty words meant to make her feel better.

“I’ve forgiven you a long time ago. We wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t,” she said, smiling, a blush tinting her cheeks. “But thank you. It means a lot to me.” It really did. It meant the world to her that he cared enough to apologize for something that in the end, was just him doing his job. She didn’t think that he had second thoughts and that he regretted anything he did, but it seemed she had been wrong, and there was still a lot she didn’t know about Cassian. “I’m also sorry,” she said. “I’ve said some terrible things to you back then.”

“You were right,” he said, his posture still rigid, but the smile seemed genuine.

“No I wasn’t. I only said what I knew would hurt, and I didn’t mean most of it.” She shook her head lightly. “Especially not the part where I said that I regret saving your life. I didn’t regret saving your life for a moment. And I regret a lot of decisions I made in my file, but not this one.”

Cassian still looked a little weary, but his stance seemed to soften up. His hands still absentmindedly caressed her feet. “So,” he said, a smile creeping up his face, “you didn’t mean it when you said I looked like a… weasel?”

“Oh no, I meant that,” she said stifling a laugh, the atmosphere feeling suddenly lighter. “I still think you look like a weasel. Small and cuddly, but with some very sharp teeth.” She shot up and grabbed his shirt, yanking him towards her. “And speaking of cuddles, I demand some,” she said, pulling him closer.

He discarded his shoes turned off the light, and got into bed with her fully clothed. Cora pulled the covers over both of them and nestled into his arms, sighing in content. She didn’t care that she was smearing brown ointment all over his clothes, or that his uniform was feeling kind of rough against her bare skin, right now all she wanted was to fall asleep in his protecting embrace.

“You know,” she whispered in his ear, “I know my situation is not ideal, and my life is not like I’d imagined it to be, but right now there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Cassian didn’t say anything, and for a moment she thought that he’d fallen asleep before her, but then she felt him pull her closer, pressing her to his chest. He found her lips in silence and kissed her deeply.

She fell asleep with her head in the crook of his neck, listening to his even breathing.

The evening before the assessment Cora wasn’t as stressed as she anticipated. She expected to be mortified, pacing around the room unable to calm down, but to her surprise, she was pretty chill. That didn’t mean she was completely serene, but it was as close at she’d gotten to being calm since she found out about it.

The postponing of the assessment had played a role in that—a sudden attack on one of their outposts kept everyone busy for almost a full week—but it wasn’t the extra hours of training that she got between long and exhausting shifts. Seeing the wounded fight for their life put everything in a different perspective. After all, even if she failed the assessment, her primary job was healing the patients on base, and she was confident that she was useful where she was. She was doing enough as it was, without the added responsibility.

And with this conclusion in mind, she actually managed to do a lot better in the training sessions. Without the pressure to succeed looming over her, she found it easier to concentrate and follow Cassian’s advice. And when she focused, she didn’t suck as bad, even earning a few praising words from Cassian here and there. She still hopelessly sucked at hand to hand combat, but she didn’t have much hope in that field. She just wasn’t built for it, physically or mentally.

Her shift ended early that night, so she had quite some time to spend with Lewella who had just gotten back from a mission, eating dinner and chatting. Lew was an amazing storyteller and she could make even the most mundane mission sound like an exciting adventure. So Cora listened, forgetting about the stress for a few hours.

But Lewella was tired so she went to sleep early and Cora found herself alone once again. Knowing that if she went to bed now she'd just end up lying awake for hours, she started aimlessly walking around the base. She’d agreed with Cassian that they’d take a break from training that night, so she could get enough rest, but without his training sessions she realized that she had nothing to occupy her time, except for work and the occasional meetings with her very few (and very busy) friends.

Despite doing her best to avoid meeting Cassian, trying hard to not look too clingy and unable to spend a night without him, she still bumped into him on the landing strip. Ok, maybe she didn’t do her best, and maybe deep inside she hoped she’d bump into him one way or another, but she liked to believe that she at least tried avoiding him.

“Good evening, Doctor,” he said once he noticed her walking towards him. “How are your pre- assessment jitters?”

“I haven’t spontaneously combusted yet, so pretty good I’d say,” she laughed.

“Can’t sleep?”

“I haven’t even tried,” she said, feeling like this wasn’t the reply he was expecting. However, the frown that she expected in return never appeared. “It’s still early. I’m way too used to sleeping after midnight to change it in a day.”

Cassian nodded. “Well, if you won’t try to sleep any time soon, do you want to see something?” he asked, putting back some tools someone had left on the landing strip, next to a half taken apart engine.

“Depends,” she said out of reflex. “What is that something and how bad will be get in trouble for it?”

“Why do you think we’ll get in trouble?” he laughed, raising an eyebrow.

“In my experience anything that starts with ‘wanna see something cool’ or ‘wanna do something’ ends with one or more people being reprimanded. But maybe it’s just me and I’ve been friends with the wrong people my whole life.”

“Well, don’t listen to Lew if she ever tells you that. Or Melshi,” he chuckled. “But I’m going to make sure it won’t happen. I wouldn’t want you to miss the assessment tomorrow.”

Cora crossed her arms. “You’re almost making me want to get in trouble now.”

“Not tonight,” he assured her, and somehow, she felt a little let down. There was a part of her that craved the adventure, the danger, a part that was always in conflict with the logical and cautious part of her brain. “So, are you coming?” he prompted, placing the newly rearranged toolbox on a shelf and waiting for Cora to make up her mind.

“Hell, why not,” she decided, and followed him.

There was a satisfied grin plastered on his face and he seemed pleased with himself. Cora assumed he was expecting her to say no, but she would gladly get in trouble if it meant spending some time alone with him. She’d never tell him that though, she should never know how much power he had over her.

He led her to his ship. Cora wondered of they were going off world, a flicker of excitement sending a shiver down her spine. But then she remembered she wasn’t allowed to leave without permission. She hadn’t thought about her bracelet in so long, having gotten so used to it, but now it hung heavily on her wrist once again.

Cassian didn’t take long, coming out of the ship with a backpack. He started striding towards the jungle, with Cora following close behind, almost running.

“Where are we going?” she asked, once they reached the edge of the forest. She still perceived the invisible line that separated the jungle from the base as a boundary and was reluctant to cross it, although she knew there was nothing stopping her. Cassian had taken her to the shooting range in the forest a couple of times during the past few days, but at the time the daylight madeit look a lot less menacing. Right now, all dark and gloomy, the forest looked downright sinister.

“There’s too much light here,” he said, pointing to the spotlights along the landing strip. “We have to get some distance between us and the base if we want to see anything.”

Cora was more than a little apprehensive. Her anxious brain had already populated the shadows with unimaginable horrors. “Isn’t it dangerous?” she asked, sounding a little frightened.

“No, not really. Not if we’re careful. None of the more dangerous animals venture this close to the base, we make too much noise for their liking,” he explained taking a few steps into the forest. Cora reluctantly followed him, only because she didn’t want to be left alone at the edge.

There was only a small flashlight in Cassian’s hand, and even though it emanated a pretty strong beam of light, it was not enough for it to dissipate the all encompassing darkness. Cora had expected the jungle to be silent at night, but only now did she notice the continuous buzzing of insects and screams of whatever animals populated it. A cold shiver ran down her spine.

This feeling was new. Just like she never thought she’d feel claustrophobic until she had been imprisoned, she never once imagined she could be afraid of the dark. But if the darkness once meant the familiar, safe space the vent walls created around her, now it was the entirety of the unknown.

“Are you afraid of the dark?” Cassian asked out of the blue, twisting the flashlight and turning it into a lantern that he hung onto his belt, the once focused beam of light turning into a diffuse halo surrounding them both. Somehow, this was a little more reassuring, since she could see better around her.

“Would you hold it against me if I said yes?” she asked, stepping closer to him.

“No,” he said, and reached into his backpack. He pulled out a small blaster and handed it to her. Cora took it and studied it in the dim light. It was a small model, not very powerful, but it could still be deadly up close. Cora wondered if Cassian lacked any sense of self preservation.

“Everyone is afraid of something,” he continued, and his voice was surprisingly deep.

“Even you, Captain?” she asked, holding the blaster in both hands, the muzzle pointing to the ground, right below Cassian’s feet. If she moved her hands only a few centimeters upwards it would be pointing at his head. Even with his speed, she was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to grab his blaster from its holster and shoot her first. Two quick shots would be all it would take. She wouldn’t even have to kill him, if she just switched the blaster to stun, she’d still be able to incapacitate him long enough for her to return to base, steal his ship and leave. The flimsy bracelet on her wrist would be easy to break and get rid of, and she could be free. She could finally be free to get away from it all. Her finger hovered over the gun’s safety lock. “What are you afraid of, Captain?”

“There’s more than one type of darkness out there,” he replied, his eyes staring intensely at her.

“That’s so philosophical,” she snickered, strapping the blaster to her belt, safety still in place. She wondered if he had noticed her hesitation and if he knew the inner battle she had fought for a moment. He probably did. She guessed it was some sort of test, otherwise why would he give her a blaster in the middle of the jungle where no one could hear her shoot. Would he have let her pull the trigger, or would he have disarmed her the moment she disengaged the safety? Was he ready to kill her or did he have enough faith that she wouldn’t try to escape? Whatever his reasoning, Cora had made her choice, and now that the moment of weakness had passed, she knew that she’d never use a weapon against him. There was a strange relief in knowing this. She hoped he knew too.

“If Lewella had heard you speak like that you’d never hear the end of it,” Cora continued.

“Good thing she’s not here, then.”

The atmosphere had gone back to the relaxed chatter from before her moment of tension, even though Cora’s heart was still beating a million miles a minute, the adrenaline in her blood making her a little more talkative than usual. However, she was still pretty jumpy, so when she heard some leaves rustling she jumped behind Cassian, grabbing onto his coat.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” he said, pointing to a small rodent like creature. “It’s harmless.”

“I’m not afraid,” she said, sounding completely terrified, looking at the retreating creature like it was about to eat her. “It’s just my self preservation instinct kicking in.”

Cassian laughed, but Cora didn’t feel like he was making fun of her, even though he had enough reasons to laugh. She was so unprepared for this trip it was funny even to herself.

“You know,” she continued, figuring that if he wasn’t going to make fun of her, she may as well do it herself, “for someone who wanted to move to a remote planet and start my own farm, I’m utterly unprepared for it. I mean,” she laughed, “I’ve never seen a goat in real life. I’m not even sure what a bantha looks like, let alone how to heard either of those.”

“You’ve never seen a goat up close?” he asked, looking at her, incredulously.

“No? Have you seen many goats running free on imperial dreadnoughts?” Cassian laughed. “My parents never allowed pets and I never really lived in the countryside. To be honest, this jungle may be the wildest place I’ve ever been to.” It wasn’t completely true, she thought, she had trained in different places while in the stormtrooper program, but the missions were the only important thing back then. There was no time for sightseeing. It was just you and your brothers in arms, looking for something to kill, the heavy artillery close behind.

“That’s why you wanted your own farm?” he asked, and seemed genuinely curious about it.

Cora couldn’t remember if she had ever told him about the imaginary farm she had dreamt about building for herself. “I guess,” she said. “It always felt like it’s the… not the right way to live, but the… I don’t know, the least stressful way to live. I mean I assume it’s not an easy life and I’ve never had to worry about providing my own food and starving to death, so feel free to correct me anytime, but at least this way you know for sure that you’re not responsible in any way for genocide, because you’re not a link in a system that supports mass murder.” Well it wasn’t exactly what she wanted to say, but it encompassed what she felt.

“Do you feel responsible?”

“Yeah,” she said, and could feel her voice crack a little. “I’ve been actively and passively part of it my whole life, there’s no way I won’t feel responsible. As long as my father’s still doing what he does… there’s always going to be a part of me that feels responsible.”

“But you’re fighting the Empire right now. You’re actively trying to stop it.”

“I still don’t feel like I’m doing enough.” She sighed. “Whatever I’m doing here, compared to what my father’s doing out there, it’s just not enough to compensate.”

“You’re doing enough,” he said in a serious and encouraging tone. “We’re all doing what we can. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes it may be less, but as long as you’re doing your best it’s enough.”

Cora looked at his profile in the dim light. He was looking straight ahead, with a steely expression on his face. She wondered if this encouragement wasn’t one that he often told himself. He seemed a little down lately, even though Cora couldn’t exactly tell what was different.

Lewella had told her a while ago to keep an eye on Cassian because whenever he was grounded for longer periods of time, especially as a punishment, he had a tendency to lose himself and become depressed. Not that you could tell on the outside, but Lew knew him well enough to accurately predict his mood swings. Since the Samarkand fiasco he was still kept mostly on base, so Cora could assume he wasn’t very happy, and in moments like this, when his voice became grave and he stared into the distance, she knew that he wasn’t quite ok.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she said as they were nearing a clearing. In the background she could see the dark outline of one of the ziggurats that could be seen from the base, punctuating the canopy. It looked a lot bigger than she expected, but it was still much smaller than the one they used as their base. “I just hope the war will be over soon, so I can herd goats and enjoy the nature,” she said with a faint smile. “I think that maybe going to a very remote place isn’t such a good idea, but I could probably live near a small village. Become the village witch doctor.” Cassian chuckled. “By the way thanks for the ointment and the massage. Surprisingly, I think it really worked.”

Cassian looked at her with a half amused frown on his face. “Of course it worked,” he said, with conviction. “Didn’t you believe me?”

“Of course not,” she replied, speeding a little to keep up with him. “I’m a scientist, I don’t trust anything until I have tangible proof.”

“So you won’t fight me next time I’ll apply it?”

Something about that ‘next time’ really made her heart flutter. It was an unexpected sense of permanence, the idea that their relationship—however they could define it—was stable enough to allow such familiarity in the future. She smiled.

“I can’t promise anything,” she scoffed, but the corners of her mouth were still upturned. “It stained my sheets. But I gotta give it to you, you know your shit. I have a feeling you’d do great as a witch doctor yourself.” She gave him a congratulatory pat on his back. “By the way, have you though what you’re going to do when the war ends? Assuming that we’re going to win, of course…”

“No, not really,” he said his voice trailing off.

“Oh come on,” she pressed. “You have to have a backup plan there somewhere, you can’t be Captain Andor forever,” she laughed. She didn’t think he had a real plan, she didn’t have one either. The future seemed so murky that she wasn’t sure she’d even survive the next few months. But she liked to imagine what her life could be like if everything eventually worked out, if she was allowed to live her life as she pleased. And she wanted to know what he daydreamed about, what he imagined when he couldn’t sleep, where he wanted to be in a few years, even though those were just improbable fantasy, so she pressed on.

“I don’t really think about the future,” he eventually said, a barely there note of irritation in his voice.

“Why?” she asked, confusion written all over her face. She didn’t really think there was anyone who didn’t think about their future, at least once in a while.

The silence continued for a few more moments and Cora was pretty sure he wouldn’t reply. Maybe he had his reasons to stay silent and, after all, who was she to demand answers to such private questions, especially when she could see the pronounced frown on his face, even in the dim light.

“Thinking about future,” he eventually said, “can make you hopeful.” There was an emptiness in his tone that Cora couldn’t ignore. And an almost imperceptible tinge of sadness.

“And that’s such a bad thing?” she asked, eyeing him sideways.

“It can make some things harder,” he replied, not looking at her.

“Like?” she asked, still not understanding. She lived under the impression that the hope for a better future was the only thing that kept them going.

“Do you know what this is?” he asked, tapping his personal identifier transponder with two fingers.

Cora opened her mouth to reply, but then it hit her that he wasn’t referring to the transponder but to what was hidden underneath. A cold shiver ran down her spine and she was sure her face lost all colour. For once, she was thankful for the dim light, so he wouldn’t notice the change.

“Suicide pill,” she eventually mumbled, her voice faltering. The eerie sound of the jungle seemed a lot stronger now that they had stopped chatting. Their steps were just muffled thuds on the soft floor of the jungle, getting lost in the cacophony of noises and making her feel completely out of place.

“We call it ‘Lullaby’,” he said with a crooked smile that never reached his eyes the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach grew exponentially.

“That’s a terrible name,” she said, frowning. She’d heard the name before, but never made the connection. She was also aware that suicide pills existed, and that the intelligence department had them, but only now did it hit her what the reality of what having one really meant. That you had to be mentally prepared to take your own life, if needed.

Only now did it hit her that in all the time she knew him, Cassian had been ready to die.

“I think it’s a good name. It helps you sleep better,” he said with a snicker, seemingly amused by his own joke.

Cora looked at him with a worried expression on her face, one that she was sure he noticed even in the darkness that surrounded them, because he started chuckling.

“It was a joke,” he said, trying to sound apologetic.

“A very bad one,” Cora concluded, punching him in the arm, with the vigour of a withered plant. She was sure it wasn’t completely a joke, there was at least a grain of truth there, but she played along. She really didn’t want to open the flood gates, because she really didn’t know how to handle it. She wasn’t sure she wanted to talk about death and resolve in the middle of a jungle.

“That’s how you punch?” he asked, laughing at her pathetic attempt. “I should have trained you harder.”

“No please, no! Don’t want to think about training sessions for a while,” she said, throwing her hands in the air defensively, with an ounce of panic in her voice. “Why are we here, anyway?” she asked, abruptly changing the subject, fearing that thinking about the assessment for even a second would flood her with panic.

They were looking at the base of one of the ziggurats. This one was a lot smaller than their base, but it was still towering over them, dark and menacing, looking like it wanted to puncture the sky. The structure was slimmer and quite abrupt, more like an obelisk than a temple.

“We’re going to climb that,” Cassian announced in a rather cheery voice, placing his hands on his hips, looking up at the tower.

Cora looked at him, really looked at him for a moment, wondering if it was worth the punishment if she took out the blaster and shot him now. “You said there wouldn’t be a workout today,” she said, accusingly, trying to poke a hole into his head with her glare.

“It’s not a workout,” he shrugged, innocently enough.

“If it involves stairs, it is for me,” Cora concluded, crossing her arms. “I want to be able to use my legs tomorrow.”

“You shouldn’t be so out of shape anymore…” he tried again, but Cora only puffed in response. Cassian seemed to lose his enthusiasm for half a second, and looked around. “We could stay on the ground,” he said a little disheartened, “but I don’t think we’re gonna see anything from here. Not through the treetops.”

Cora looked up. The darkness seemed so dense when they left the base, but it seemed her eyes had gotten used to the absence of light, because now she could clearly see patches of the starry sky poking through little gaps in the foliage. The sky was clear, she finally realized. She had spent so much time thinking about the assessment that she had completely forgotten to look up the past few days. A new feeling of exhilaration took over, when she realized that he probably wanted to show her the stars.

“No, let’s go up,” she said, a smile spreading over her face. Cassian's features also softened, the concerned frown turning into an amused smirk. “But”, she said, and her tone was harsher this time, as she shoved an index finger in his face, “my legs are your responsibility. If they hurt tomorrow, or the day after, or any other day, to be precise, I expect a massage. And not the painful kind. Slow, relaxing, sensual, rose oil and all. And a foot rub.”

“Ok,” he laughed, shrugging his shoulders.

“Don’t forget that you agreed to this, I don’t want to hear you complain about it tomorrow.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.”

She didn’t worry. She knew him well enough to know that if he agreed to something he would do it (unless it regarded his own health, where he was known to break multiple promises).

She followed him to the base of the ziggurat. Here no one had cleared the jungle, so there was vegetation growing right up to the building. Cassian lead the way showing her what paths to take. The slope was pretty steep, but there were stairs going up. However, the weather and who knew what else had eroded them in some places so they had to hoist themselves up from one platform to another.

Cassian had let her go first with the lantern fastened to her belt, lighting the way. From time to time she’d have to climb onto his hands to reach higher places. Occasionally, his hands would be on her ass, pushing her upward.

“Is this,” she said between hitched breaths after they both managed to pass one rather annoying gap in the stairs, “is this just a pretext to grope my ass?”

“Do I need a pretext to grope your ass?” he asked, his breathing visibly less laboured than hers.

“No you don’t, but don’t let that get to you head,” she said, collapsing on the stone, trying to catch her breath. “Is there still a lot to go?” she asked, exhaustion clear in her voice.

Cassian looked around for a few moments, assessing the situation. They were a few meters above the treetops, the base clearly visible in the distance, a tower of lights in the sea of darkness.

“No, I think we’re good,” he said, taking a seat on the stone, next to her.

Cora was already so absorbed in the view around her that she didn’t reply. The sky was bigger than she had ever seen it since Yavin 4 had become her home. She had gotten so used to the grey skies that she usually didn’t even look up anymore. But tonight it was different, the sky dusted with myriad of glimmering stars, a view she hadn’t seen in ages. Cassian had been right, on their well lit base she couldn’t have possibly enjoyed such a view. It almost felt like the stars surrounded her like they did when she was living on a ship.

“Oh! Is that…?” she asked, pointing towards a trail of light that suddenly crossed the sky.

“Yeah, it’s a shooting star,” Cassian explained. “There’s a meteor shower every few months, but usually the sky is much too overcast to be able to see them. I guess today is out lucky day.”

“I’ve never seen shooting stars before,” she said, completely in awe.

“Really? Then it’s a good thing I dragged you here today.”

Cora looked at him, her heart full of gratitude, while Cassian was digging into his backpack.

“Thank you,” she said, “for dragging me here.”

“You’re welcome!” He smiled. “I thought you needed some time to unwind after this stressful week. It would have been nicer tomorrow, but you said you’re working the night shift and they’re sending me back off world the day after.”

Her heart sunk at the news. She never expected him to stay on base forever, but truth be told she had gotten so used to seeing him every day that the thought of his imminent absence hurt. Not only was he going to be away for days, but she had no way of knowing where he was, if he was ok and if he was ever going to come back. She realized, however, that she had no right to feel hurt by this, it was his job and she had to accept it.

“So Captain Andor is back in business?” she joked, trying her best to hide the sadness in her voice.

“Yeah, it’s about time,” he said, and his voice sounded relieved. Cora suspected he was getting bored out of his mind doing only training and paperwork all day, but a selfish part of her didn’t want him to go. “Melshi sends you these,” he said handing her a box and a few bottles that he had fished from his backpack. “He said he picked them up just for you when he was on his last mission.”

Cora took the box and a huge grin spread over her face once she brought it into the light and recognized the packaging. “I haven’t seen this since I was a kid!” she laughed, and pushed it towards Cassian. “Do know them?”

“No, sorry. Spent my childhood in a cave, remember?”

“You don’t mean that literally, do you?” she asked, raising an eyebrow and struggling to open the box.

Cassian laughed. “Also literally. Sometimes.”

“You gotta tell me one day all about your childhood. I have a feeling it was a lot more eventful than mine.” Cassian smiled bitterly, and Cora wondered if she had made a mistake bringing that up. “It’s candy,” she said showing him the contents of the newly opened box. It was full of colourful swirls made of something soft and foamy, tasting sweet and fruity. “You also get a toy with it. Everyone loved them when I was a kid. It was the first thing I would ask for every time we’d land on Coruscant.” She remembered getting all excited about the toy inside. “I didn’t know they were still making them.” Then again, she realized that she didn’t know much about the real world ever since she had joined the military. “Let’s see what we’ve got.”

She popped a candy in her mouth than fished out the toy wrapped in another colourful packaging. She struggled to open that for a little bit before giving up and ripping it open with her teeth, to Cassian’s amusement. She pulled out a small trooper, about the size of her palm.

“RC_1207,” she read on the back of the figurine. “Delta07. Doesn’t ring a bell,” she said, bringing it closer to the light, looking at the details. Back in her days most toys were spaceships. She had quite an impressive collection.

“Clone commando. Part of Delta Squad. They fought in the clone wars,” Cassian explained.

“I have a feeling I should know this, but to my defense, I slept during the military history classes.”

Cassian snorted. “How did you pass?”

“It’s a mystery to me too.”

They talked a little about their military background, eating candy and sipping the fizzy, slightly alcoholic drink Melshi had sent them. It was something Cassian had interrogated Cora about a long time ago, but this time it was different, it was a conversation between two people who had lived most of their life in the military. This time she got to ask questions too.

Although she had more formal training than him, he had a lot more combat experience, both in the regular army and special units, which came as no surprise. However, for whatever he lacked in formal training, he made up by self studying. Cora was surprised at how much theoretical knowledge he had picked up just by reading books in his free time and listening to the older officers. For Cora this level of commitment was impressive, seeing as she had never considered opening a military book by her own volition. But then again, that’s why he was an intelligence captain and she was in the military by accident.

At one point Cassian had laid back on the stone, one arm bent under his head, watching the starry sky. Cora had turned off the light and laid next to him, nestling into his side, leeching on his warmth. The conversation had naturally died down, so they just laid there in silence for a while, watching the sky. After about 37 shooting stars she had lost count, so she just enjoyed the peacefulness of the moment. From up there, no one could tell there was a war tearing the galaxy apart.

“You know, if we survive this war,” she said after a while, propping herself up to look at Cassian. Only after she said it she realized how heavy that ‘if’ felt. “If we survive this war, you’ll always have a place on my currently imaginary farm.”

Cassian turned his head slightly to look at her. There was much too dark for her to be able to read his expression. “Really?”

“Of course! I mean,” she laughed, “I can’t cook and I’ve never seen a real live goat in my life, so I’m pretty sure I’ll need your help. Someone has to shovel the manure,” she added in a dead serious tone and Cassian chuckled.

She might have made it sound like a joke, but the truth was that she wanted him to come with her. She could see herself spending the rest of her life with him on a remote farm on a planet where no one knew and feared her name. Where he didn’t have to fight anymore. Where they could spend every night watching the stars and not fear whatever the next day would bring.

“You’d really make me shovel shit?” he asked, putting an arm around her shoulders and bringing her closer to his chest.

“Yep. It’s payback. For kidnapping me.”

“I’m never gonna live that down, right?”

“Nope,” she said, laying her head on his shoulder, listening to his rhythmic heartbeat.

“Thanks,” he whispered after a few moments of silence, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

“You’ll always be welcome, no matter where I’ll actually end up.”

She closed her eyes and sighed, content. Suddenly the stars didn’t matter and neither did the assessment, the war, or anything besides the man laying next to her.

“You passed,” said the officer, handing her a piece of paper, the proof that she was now officially allowed to take part in missions. “You did a good job. You really worried for nothing, Doc.”

Cora laughed. “I guess I was used to a different kind of skill assessment.”

“Well, you’re not DA anymore, you’re a doctor,” he reminded her, patting her on the back as they walked back to the main building. “You only need to be able to take care of yourself in case we’ll need your help in the field. You’ll be replacing Doctor Crane as an emergency field doctor, since we can’t risk sending him into battle anymore. Even so, you’re not expected to take part in more than a few missions a year.”

“That’s not so bad,” Cora concluded. She was pretty sure she could survive a few missions, especially if the only requirement was actually surviving. “Thank you, officer,” she said as they reached the ground level med bay.

“Just remember to keep in shape,” he said, before taking his leave, “and be ready for action at all times.”

Cora laughed wondering if he knew that the only reason she had passed the assignment was because she had been beaten into shape by Cassian in less than two weeks. She wondered what he was up to and if she could drop by to tell him the good news. She’ll have to ask around, Doctor Crane had to know something.

“SO?” Lewella yelled the moment she saw her entering the med bay. “Are we drinking cause you aced it or are we drinking cause you failed?”

“I’m so sorry,” Cora said, sighing dramatically, “but you’ll have to bring your happy face.”

“YESS!” she yelled, grabbing her into a bear hug, that Cora gladly returned. “I told you you’re mental. You just keep worrying about shit. I’ve told you if you weren’t ready Cassian would have done something to delay it. You know, being his girlfriend has its perks.” She sighed relieved. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I’m not his girlfriend,” Cora mumbled, her face scrunching into a frown.

“What are you then?” Lewella raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, following Lewella around as she was ordering things around the med bay. Luckily for her, there was no one there to witness their conversation. “But girlfriend sounds like something official. And I don’t know, involves going on dates or something… while we… just...”

Cora had no idea how to explain it, not even to herself. If a while ago she could have said that it’s just fucking and nothing more, now she was certain that it wasn’t just that. It was also the stolen kisses in empty corridors, the shared meals and the short moments they spent chatting every day.

“Bullshit. You’ve been going on dates. Just last night you’ve been seen nonchalantly strolling into the jungle together. In plain sight. Don’t try to deny it,”

Cora blushed furiously. She realized hadn’t even thought about the possibility of someone seeing them, let alone do something to conceal their departure. She had been so used to meeting Cassian on the training grounds that she completely disregarded the fact that maybe their meetings could be interpreted as something else.

“That wasn’t a date,” Cora denied.

“No?” Lewella’s eyes narrowed.

“No!”

“What was it then?” Lewella asked, hands placed on her hips, eyes intently fixed on Cora’s increasingly reddening face. “And don’t tell me some bullshit like ‘surveying the jungle life forms’ unless that’s a euphemism for fucking in the forest.”

“No, it wasn’t a date,” she still denied. “He just wanted to show me the shooting stars…”

“Mhm.”

“...and you can’t see them from the base because of the lights…”

“Mhm.”

“...so we had to leave. And then we climbed the ziggurat, and he gave me some candy Melshi found for me…”

“Mhm.”

“...and we had some drinks…”

“And then you kissed under the starlight.”

“Basically. Ok you know what,” Cora said, laughing to hide her embarrassment, “you may be right. However, I do think that for it to count as a date I should have been warned beforehand.”

“It counts,” Lewella said, throwing her a friendly death glare.

Cora opened her mouth to protest, but changed her mind with a sigh. “I’m sorry. I guess it’s just a little confusing for me.”

“Love is confusing in general,” her friend said, with a sympathetic smile, “and Cassian is a complicated human being. You’ll see that things aren’t very black and white when it comes to him. However, I know he’s serious about you, so there’s nothing to worry about there.”

“How do you know that?” Cora asked, suddenly interested in this conversation.

“Well, first of all, you’re my friend and I told him that if he hurts you I’m gonna kick his ass…”

“Wait! You told him you know?” Cora asked with a grimace. “You talked about this?”

“Blame Melshi. Blame it all on Melshi. But that’s beside the point.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Anyway, Cassian’s let people see you leave together. There’s no way he didn’t know that people would be watching and what they’d make of it. So you know he doesn’t treat it like a secret affair.”

“Do you think he did it on purpose?”

“No. He’s not one to try to make a spectacle out of it. But if he didn’t want to be seen, he’d make sure no one saw anything. He’s a spy after all, it’s what he’s good at.” Cora nodded in agreement before she realized she was doing it. “No, I just think he just doesn’t give a shit if people know or not. He’s not trying to hide it.”

“I thought he didn’t like people talking about him.”

“He doesn’t. But at the same time he just doesn’t care if they do. They’ll get used to it and stop talking about it eventually.”

Cora took a few seconds to imagine what it would mean for people to know about their relationship. Honestly, she had no idea what to expect. This was all new for her and it made her feel a little overwhelmed.

“Hopefully no one will,” she sighed.

“Ehhh… they’re already talking.”

“Oh no.”

“It’s not bad. I mean, Aidan is sulking, but Alara is pretty excited about it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she kept asking me about it this morning when she left her shift. She accused me of knowing and not telling her anything.”

“And you said…?”

“‘Oh no! What a surprise! I did not know they’ve been dancing around each other since they stopped trying to claw their eyes out. What a shock!”

“You’re a dick.”

“Big one.” She laughed. “But seriously, I just told her that as far as I know you guys are good friends and unless either of you confirm it or you start sucking each others faces in front of the Great Assembly, it’s still just rumours.”

Cora groaned leaning on a consultation table. “And I was actually in such a good mood.” She hid her face in her palms, wanting to just vanish off the face of the planet.

“And why would that change?” Lewella asked, looking at Cora over her shoulder. “Hey, stop that,” she said, prying the hands off her face. “Again, you’re making a big deal out of nothing. There will be some whispers, some giggling, but that’s it. No one cares. Plus everyone likes you so probably most of it will be pretty positive. Relax. Go eat something and then sleep, and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“I can’t, I have to go back to work,” she said straightening her posture.

“You have the day off,” Lewella said, deadpan.

“No, Doc Crane is filling in for me.”

“Which means you have a day off. And the night shift has already been covered, so relax for a second.”

“Which means I have to see if there’s nothing that requires my attention,” she stubbornly continued. “Do you have any idea where I could find Cassian?”

“You miss him already?” Cora shot her an icy glare in response. “Haven’t seen him today. Ask around.”

“Alright, thanks. I’m gonna go up and see if Doc needs any help.”

“And then go eat and sleep.”

“Bye, Lewella!”

As she walked to the other med bay Cora was hyper aware of any laughter or whisper or odd look, but as far as she could tell, none were directed her way. Maybe the rumours hadn’t yet spread that far, or Lewella was right and no one cared. She felt relieved when she reached the familiar space, where she knew she would face no judgement.

Doctor Crane was in a really good mood when he congratulated her, giving her a warm hug and a pat on the back, together with the ‘told you there was nothing to be worried about’ that seemed to be following her around.

“Someone left a parcel for you,” he said, smiling knowingly and handing her a small plastic container with a note attached to it.

‘Congrats on passing your assessment!’ read the note, written in a small and slightly uneven writing, like they weren’t that keen on calligraphy. ‘Things have sped up a little and I’ll probably have to leave before you come back, but I already know you did a great job. Sorry for not being able to see you before I go, but there was nothing I could do to delay our departure. Take care and don’t overwork yourself while I’m away. I’ll see you when I come back. I got you something from the kitchen on my way up, hope you like it. I didn’t make it, but it’s from Dony’s personal stash, so it should be good. C.’

Cora was smiling like an idiot as she opened the box to reveal a several pastries that looked fresh and smelled really good.

“When did this arrive?” she asked the doc.

“Right after you left for the assessment. He dropped it off before being sent off world.”

“It says congratulations. Was there one in case I failed?” she asked, reading the note again.

“No.”

So he had absolutely no doubt that she’d pass it. Which was dangerous in her opinion, because she could always accidentally shoot someone and get executed for it, but the fact that he trusted her even when she didn’t made her giddy. It almost covered the sadness brought by the fact that he had left a day early and she didn’t get to say goodbye.

Fuck it, Cora, she told herself. It’s not like he’s never coming back and when he does, you’ll be getting some really great congratulatory sex. You’ve earned it. And he’s earned it too. She smiled and bit into a pastry.

“Want some pastry, Doc?” she said, pushing the box in front of him.

“I shouldn’t,” he said, rubbing his hands, but Cora could tell by his eyes that he really craved them. “Oh, why not,” he gave up and chose a sweet one, covered in icing.

Previous Chapter

Masterlist

#cassian andor #cassian andor x ofc #cassian andor x original female character #rogue one #star wars #starlight

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meenasmoon · 7 years

Note

How about Meena and Johnny as chilhood friends. Johny had a crush on her but she studied abroad for many year and he never had the chance to express his feelings. Now she is back and YOU GO JOHNNY BOY!!!

My Starlight

I wrote this badboy on a stopover in LA. Hopefully i’ll write some more today pn my 11 hour flight to Spain. Enjoy!!!

It all started with a tentative knock on the door.

Johnny was sitting in the living room, fiddling with his toys and missing his old home. He was only seven and his family had uprooted their entire lives in order to move across the sea to Califurnia. Naturally he was despondent that he had to leave the land he was born in, including all of his friends and most of his extended family.

Johnny looked around and when he saw that his parents were nowhere to be found he pushed himself onto his feet and trudged to the door. Still wary of this new place, he only cracked the front door open, his little brown eyes peering curiously at the front stoop. When he caught sight of her his bad emotions melted away completely and he threw the door open wide.

She was taller, bigger than him, as was natural for an elephant, but she seemed to shrink slightly as her eyes locked with his. She was wearing a baby blue sundress that was covered in tiny little daisies like sprinkles on a cake. She was wearing worn pink converse with untied laces that dragged on the ground. Her cheeks were covered in a light smattering of freckles and her eyes were an iridescent blue.

She was pretty.

That was the first thought that ran through Johnny’s mind as he stared at the elephant girl. To her credit, she returned his blank stare with a shy smile that twinkled delicately in her baby blues. Johnny felt the floor fall out from under him when he saw that little twinkle. Never had any other animal managed to do this to him and he was completely confused.

It took him a few moments but finally he found his voice. “‘Ello.” He said simply and the girl perked up slightly.

“Hi.” She said in a quiet, tentative voice that sounded like dripping honey it was so sweet and smooth. She played with the tray in her hands and suddenly Johnny realized that she was holding out a tray of cupcakes. He gently took them from her and looked down at the sweets reverently. They were small and dainty but they looked like masterpieces. The fluffy yellow cakes were decorated with the perfect dollop of chocolate icing and a calculated smattering of rainbow sprinkles.

“Thank ya.” He suddenly remembered his manners and held one hand out to her, “I’m Johnny.” When the girl took his hand Johnny decided to try out the move he had seen his father employ on his mother. He gently twisted her hand and instead of shaking it, pressed a tiny kiss to the pack of it.

When he looked up his face was burning the same bright red as the girl’s. He quickly pulled back, hoping that she didn’t run away screaming about his cooties. He didnt have any, his mom had checked him thoroughly. Instead the girl pulled her ears in close to her head and tangled her hands in her dress. It made Johnny even happier when she didnt wipe her hand off. She must not have heard about the cooties he used to have.

“I-I-I’m M-M-Meena.” The girl stuttered out in the silence as she studiously kept her eyes glued to the ground. Johnny searched the sidewalk for anything interesting that she might be looking at but all he found was a smooth black stone and a couple twigs.

She must want the stone but thought it rude to ask so Johnny crouched down, picked up the stone and held it out for her. “It’s real pretty. Do ya want it?”

When Meena looked at him with confusion in her eyes he stepped forward, took her hand and slipped the smooth stone into her hand. He gave her a little crooked smile and Meena’s face turned bright red once more.

“Th-thanks. Do um… do you want to maybe come over and play sometime?” Meena clutched the stone tightly in her fist and looked shyly down at Johnny, her cheeks still freshly flushed but her expression was hopeful.

“Yeah!” He quickly tried to recover his manners, knowing that his mother would be disappointed if he didn’t treat Meena like a lady, “I mean yeah I would. I’ll ask me mum if I can come na.” He suddenly realized that he had essentially invited himself over, but before he could backtrack Meena’s face bloomed into a bright smile and she brought the hand clasped over her new stone to her heart.

“Y-Yeah. That sounds like fun.” She smiled at him, and Johnny was caught in her gaze again. He was staring at her eyes again when he realized that she was waiting for him to go ask his mom. Johnny shot her a sheepish grin and then disappeared into his house, the front door still wide open. His sneakers squeaked as he dashed through the house, looking for his parents.

He was running through the kitchen when he slammed right into his father. The large gorilla chuckled and plucked him off of the ground where he had fallen onto his butt. "Where ’re ya off ter Johnny? Ya kna you’re not supposed ter be runnin’ in the bleedin’ gaff. Your mum will kill ya.”

Johnny giggled when his dad playfully put him in a headlock, “Dad!” He protested when his father started tickling him mercilessly. Marcus chuckled and released his son at his request, smiling when he saw that the sad, far off look that had been lingering in Johnny’s eyes since they had told him about the move was finally gone.

“Dad! Can I go play wif me new friend?” He pulled out his biggest begging eyes as he stared up at his father pleadingly, “I promise I’ll finish unpackin’ tomorra.”

Marcus frowned and scratched his head as he looked around at all of the unpacking that they still had yet to do. “I dunna son. We still ‘ave alot ter do ‘ere. Maybe ya should wait until next week.” Johnny’s small form slumped sadly and Marcus felt his heart break a little in his chest. Johnny nodded silently, all enthusiasm and happiness having evaporated. Marcus resisted falling prey to his pout for all of two second before his sighed and gave in.

“But I guess since ya ‘ave been such a big ‘elper it would be fine.” He said softly and Johnny lit up like Christmas Tree. He spun around, shoved the plate of cupcakes into his father;s hands and dashed back towards the front door, where he could see Meena nervously waiting for him. Marcus looked at the cupcakes in confusion and then shook his head, chuckling softly.

He lumbered into the living room where his wife was staring out the front window, a happy smile on her face. Marcus breathed another sigh of relief at the sight. She hadn’t quite been the same optimistic mammal since their move. Marcus came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, following her gaze to the two young children, walking casually towards the small yellow house across the street.

“Our little boy is gonnah marry that girl one day.” She suddenly remarked and Marcus stared at her incredulously, “I can feel it in my bones.”

Meanwhile Meena was leading Johnny into her tiny yellow house. The little gorilla looked around at the walls curiously, his eyes wide as he took in every picture on the walls. He was staring at one of Meena’s baby pictures when suddenly his new friend stopped and the duo was met by an elderly elephant with a cane.

His eyes were hard as he examined Johnny and the little gorilla automatically froze up nervously, looking up at the intimidating elephant with big brown eyes.

“Hi Grandpa!” Meena piped up excitedly and suddenly the older elephant’s stern gaze softened completely.

“Hi Angel Baby.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Meena’s forehead, making her giggle and blush slightly.

“Can Johnny and I go play in my room?” Meena asked sweetly, reaching back to clasp Johnny’s hand as if to pull him along with her. The little gorilla just blushed at the contact and scuffed his shoe nervously on the floor.

Meena’s grandfather seemed to think it over for a second before nodding slowly. Meena stood on her tip toes to give him a kiss on the cheek and then they were off to her room, still connected by their hands.

Once they got up to Meena’s room she released his hand and nervously wandered over to her hand-painted toy chest. Johnny looked around the purple room as Meena rummaged around in the toy chest, looking for something for them to do. The room was decorated with hand drawn pictures, photos and various other decorations. Johnny turned around and found Meena shyly holding up a keyboard and a flowery ukulele.

“Do you wanna play with these?” She asked shyly and Johnny eagerly nodded his head as he hurried over and began playing some of his old piano melodies on the keyboard. Meena watched him in awe for a second before she began to strum her ukulele to match his song. Once they grew comfortable they began to sing along, their sweet little voices melding together perfectly.

You won’t believe it, until you feel it,

Or see it with your own eyes,

Answered loves callin and now we’re falling,

Like when two world’s collide,

And so it began.

She picks me uh uh up from the ground,

Whenever she’s around, whenever she’s around,

She picks me uh uh up from the groooound

And I’m never coming down.

The end of the summer crept up on Johnny like a monster that had been lying in wait for him to be vulnerable again. He and Meena had spent practically every day together since they met, practically inseparable. The summer had been filled with sleepovers in blanket forts, amateur jam sessions, ice cream trucks, and countless adventures into the far reaching unknown of their imaginations. Johnny had been a cowboy, a knight, an astronaut, and a secret agent. By his side for every fantastic event was Meena.

Until today.

Johnny squirmed in his seat in the back of his mother’s car, nervously watching as they neared his new school. Part of him was excited to get back to school, but another, major part of him was back in the culdesac, rescuing Meena from a fire-breathing dragon. He squirmed again, this time catching his mother’s attention inthe rear view mirror.

“Are you nervous love?” She asked cheerily and all Johnny could do was slowly nod his head. Eloise Bannerton pulled into the drop off zone of the elementary school and quickly put the car in park so that she could look back at her precious little boy. She gave him a quick once over and couldn’t help the conflicting sensations that ran through her heart. Her pang of concern warred with the swell of her pride in him and she decided that the best route to take was to lift her boy up rather than keephim sheltered in her embrace.

“I knoh its ah little scary love, but you love school and you’ll doh soh well here.” She whispered, stroking his cheek. When he didn’t perk up like usual she decided to use a different tactic.

“Alsoh… I know for ah fact that little Miss Meenah goes here too. Why dane’t you goh find hah?” Her accent thickened with emotion when she saw the tentative eagerness reappear on Johnny’s face. Their moment was rudely interrupted when another impatient parent honked from behind them. Eloise’s face contorted in fury and she leaned out the window to address the impatient mom. With a voice that rivaled her husband’s in its dangerousness she roared out.

“I’m saying goodbye to my son you hussy!!” The feline in the driver’s seat shrunk down in embarrassment, “Shut the bloohming hell up!!”

Eloise ducked her head back in the car, gave her giggling son a kiss on the forehead and ushered him out of the car. She watched him go for a second before she started to head out of the parking lot, muttering angrily to herself about rude felines and first day jitters.

Meanwhile, Johnny was walking quickly across the field of the school and in through the front doors, a gorilla on a mission. His brand new converse squeaked on the linoleum floor as he navigated the crowds in the hallways, his brown eyes scanning the masses for the familiar shape of his best friend. When the bell rang fifteen minutes later he was despondent in the knowledge that Meena was nowhere to be found. He trudged to his assigned classroom and cautiously walked into the unfamiliar space. His whole body was a ball of tension as he surveyed the brightly colored classroom, looking for an empty seat.

He was still in the middle of his hunt when a shy voice called out his name. The tension and nervousness rushed out of his body like a large gust of air and he frantically searched for where that voice was coming from. Sure enough, in the back row Meena was waving at him and pointing to the empty desk right next to hers. Johnny ran to that desk like his life depended on it. He leapt into the seat and shot Meena a crooked smile that was filled with equal parts joy and relief. In return she gave him her dazzling smile and left him thoroughly stunned for the first few minutes of class.

The two best friends spent the rest of the class period passing funny little notes and paying very little attention to the lesson that was being taught at the front of the room. As per usual, when the two of them were together the rest of the world seemed to fade into the edges of reality. Johnny was startled from his crude drawing on the folded piece of paper when a loud bell rang through the classroom and the rest of the school.

Eagerly, the rest of the children grabbed their lunches and made a break for the door. Meena and Johnny were much slower as they grabbed their respective lunches and meandered out into the mid-afternoon sunshine. They found a cosy little spot in the shade of an oak tree and dug into their food. Johnny’s sack lunch was packed with his father’s best attempt at a sandwich, an apple, some juice, ad veggies with ranch. When it was all unpacked he snuck a glance at Meena’s lunch, only to be met with the sight of the most elaborate school lunch that he had ever seen. There was a container of fresh fruit salad, a perfect little salad, apple juice, and a tiny brownie. Johnny gaped at it for a few seconds before turning back to his own lunch so he could shove his sandwich into his mouth.

“Yer mum made an awesome lunch.” He said, his words muffled by the sandwich in his mouth. Meena turned a pleasant shade of red and took a bite of her salad.

“Actually. My grandma and I made this together.” Johnny almost choked on his sandwich when he tried to gasp. He quickly swallowed and stared at Meena like she was holding his whole world carefully in her palm.

She was amazing.

Just like the night sky comes alive

I just wanna make her my starlight,

She’s like a full moon, hot like the sun, shines a light on everyone my starlight,

Oh Oooh she’s my starlight

My starlight,

When they finished their lunches Johnny left Meena alone under the tree as he ran off to the bathroom. He was so eager to get back to his friend and start their play time that he almost forgot to wash his hands. He stopped himself before he left, washed his hands quick and then dashed back out onto the playground. He made a beeline for the oak tree and was surprised to find that Meena was surrounded by three fifth graders. At first Johnny thought that might have been friends, but the frightened look in Meena’s eyes and the way she pulled her ears in tight to her head said otherwise.

Johnny sped up his pace and watched angrily as a bear cub grabbed Meena’s brownie and stuffed it into his mouth greedily. By that time Johnny was close enough that he could hear the hurtful words that these mean kids were spouting at his best friend. The cub that ate the brownie didn’t even bother to chew before he resumed his insults.

“Fatties shouldn’t be aloud to eat brownies like that.” He grinned and Meena cowered uncertainly away from them, refusing to look them in the eyes.Johnny felt his blood start t boil with intense anger and his hurried pace changed to a light jog as his need to defend his friend intensified.

“Yeah!” A piglet chimed in as he kicked a dust cloud onto Meena’s brand new white and purple school dress. Meena coughed and rubbed her eyes as some of the dirt flew into her face. She flinched away when the third group member, a zebra dealt the final blow.

“Ugly fatties like you shouldn’t even be aloud to come to school. No one wants you here.” With that venemous comment Meena burst into mournful sobs and dirty rivulets of tears streamed down her face forcefully. The combination of all he had seen and heard drove Johnny’’s anger to a rare boiling point that burned hot with absolute fury. None of what those mean kids had said was true. Meena was the most beautiful mammal ever and Johnny wanted her at school very badly.

“SHUT UP!” With a roar of unbridled fury Johnny charged at Meena’s tormentors, his fists balled in preparation. The three mammals turned to look at him in shock but they never got the chance to run as Johnny was immediately upon them. Like a whirlwind he took down the three bully and kept hitting them until a teacher pulled him off of them and carried him like a sack of potatoes to the principal’s office. As Johnny looked back over the teacher’s shoulder he caught sight of Meena’s face as she slowly stood. Her blue eyes were filled with awe and gratefulness that made Johnny relax and stop struggling.

As long as Meena was ok he didn’t really care if he got punished.

Illuminating she’s radiating and fills the room with her smile,

Her laughs infectious, her words are precious

It’s kept me here for a while.

Johnny was grounded for two months. Or at least that’s what his parents had said in front of the glaring principal. If he thought about it, it probably wasn’t the best way to act on the first day of school but he had to defend Meena. When his father finally got the full story out of him on the car ride home, both of his parents had gone suddenly silent.

Johnny watched in anticipation as they looked at each other, seemed to agree on something and then Johnny’s mother spoke.

“Johnathan. We cannot condone you getting intoh fights at school. You are not to doh it again.” His mother gave him a stern look from the passenger seat and Johnny nodded so fast that he was afraid his head might come off of his neck, “That being said, we are glad that you did it because you were standing up for ah friend.”

And so Johnny ended up sitting on the living room couch debating whether or not his mother’s words meant that he wasn’t grounded. Before he could make a decision there was a familiar tentative knock at the front door. Johnny leapt off of the couch and raced to the door. When he wrenched it open, Meena was waiting nervously for him on the porch.

“’Ello.” Johnny said awakwardly, but before he could say anything else Meena was tackling him into a tight hug. He managed to stay upright and his cheeks grew hot as he tentatively hugged her back. His hand rubbed her back gently and Meena’s embrace tightened as she whispered in his ear.

“Thank you for rescuing me my Prince.” She whispered and then in the blink of an eye her lips were being pressed to his cheek. Johnny went rigid in shock as his young brain tried to process that fact that his best friend, the most beautiful mammal in the world, had kissed his cheek.

Before he could say anything, let alone breath, Meena pulled back from his embrace and made a mad dash for her house. Johnny just watched her disappear and then dazedly walked back into his house to lay down on the living room couch.

And so her Prince was born.

Before they knew it their childhood was disappearing behind them and Johnny and Meena were graduating high school and moving onto the next stage of their lives. The two had remained tight throughout the trials of high school, despite Johnny’s sudden cool kid status and Meena’s position among the faceless nerds. Johnny made time for her nearly everyday, effectively making her envied by every girl in school. Meena didn’t care. Johnny made her feel special, made her feel safe, and she wouldhold onto that no matter what.

They breezed through high school and ended up going to the same in-state college. The universe continued to work in their favor as they were put into the same dorm. Johnny found himself only just down the hall from his best friend and so they returned to their childhood pass times. Only this time the blanket forts came with Netflix binges, the ice cream trucks turned into late night take out, the jam sessions turned matured as did their synchronized voices, and imaginary adventures turned into campus expeditions.

Life was perfect. The only thing missing was that extra part of their relationship that they both secretly longed for. A small but equally gargantuan change that could happen if they just said three little words. But neither was sure enough to risk their perfect dynamic, so things stayed the same. And they were content.

Until a very important letter arrived at Meena’s mailbox.

She picks me uh uh up from the ground,

Whenever she’s around, whenever she’s around,

She picks me uh uh up from the groooound

And I’m never coming down.

Johnny and Meena were cuddled up in her extra large dorm bed, one of the advantages of being a larger mammal, eating ice cream and staring at the hefty packet of paperwork that would change both of their lives forever. Since Johnny had arrived in her room the only sound that could be heard was the occasional sigh and the sound of a spoon scraping up the last of the ice cream. After over an hour of close, tense silence Meena rested her head on Johnny’s chest and glared at the packet.

“Wh-what do you think my Prince?” She whispered, her voice vulnerable and watery with tears.

Johnny knew that there was only one right answer to that question. Meena had gone to the university to pursue a career in culinary arts while Johny studied business and mechanics. She had done so exceptionally in her program that the college had contacted a sister university in Furance and worked out an exchange year for Meena. The opportunity was once in a lifetime and a good way for her to developher stellar skills to another level.

But it was on another continent, away from him.

His heart was aching and screaming for him to beg her not to go, to take him with her, to stay with him always. But his brain knew that just because he loved Meena with his entire being and was afraid to lose her it was still no reason to deny her something that would only make her life better. But that didn’t make it easy.

They sat in silence for awhile longer before Johnny’s mouth started to work again and he gave her his answer, “Ya should go.”

“R-Really?!” Meena sat up and stared at him incredulously, tears beginning to gather in her eyes. It was that glint of excitement in her eyes that made Johnny’s mind up for him. He couldn’t deny her.

“Of course Meena.” He stroked her face with one hand and gave her a watery smile,

“Ya cannae let this chance pass ya by.”

Meena nodded slowly and then dove back into his embrace, her body shaking with nerves and excitement. Johnny felt his shirt wet with her tears and in response a few salty drops escaped his brown eyes.

“I’m gonna miss you Johnny.” She suddenly whispered and Johnny tightened his embrace.

“I’ll always be 'ere for ya Princess.” He whispered and for the rest of the night they just existed together, without words.

Suddenly time sped up and Johnny was standing at the entrance to the terminal with his parents and Meena’s family, watching the love of his life walk away for a year in Furance. His heart broke when the door to the gate closed and any chance of this being a cruel trick evaporated. He vaguely remembered his mother ushering him out to the car and driving him back to his dorm where he collapsed into his bed.

Suddenly everything felt empty, especially that big hole in his chest.

Just like the night sky comes alive I just wanna make her my starlight,

She’s like a full moon, hot like the sun, shines a light on everyone my starlight,

Oh Oooh she’s my starlight

My starlight,

And so the Princess left her Prince.

The year without his heart passed at a snail’s pace and Johnny found himself counting down the days until Meena came back. Sure they still MuzzleTimed every week, but it wasn’t the same as having her close to him. The only positive thing that came out of their year of separation was a new resilience in Johnny. The year without her had reminded him that he needed to make the most beautiful mammal in the world his, at all costs. She was worth it.

When the day came for Meena to fly home, Johnny arrived at the airport an hour early, so hopped up on caffeine that he was practically bouncing out of his seat. He hadn’t been able to sleep the night before, his mind was in such a whirlwind, so he had resorted to his favorite crutch, caffeine. Four cups of coffee and a ROAR energy drink later he was standing at the terminal, staring intensely at the door that ad broken his hear a year ago.

Eventually his parents and Meena’s family showed up and then they were all waiting in anticipation for their light to come back into their lives. Johnny felt her approach before he saw her, his body taught with readiness and his heart pounding like a jackhammer. just her being close did that to him.

And then she was bursting through that door, all smile and happy tears as she was all but tackled by her mother. When her mom finally let go, her grandparent swooped in and gathered up their angel, who by now was crying and smiling like if she stopped the world would end. Johnny’s breath stopped when her family released her and she caught sight of him.

There was a new twinkle in her eyes as she stepped forward and Johnny took that as his cue. He ran to her and swept her up into a hug that ended up in her being lifted off the ground and spun around ecstatically. She laughed through her blubbering tears and hugged him with such a fierceness that Johnny felt her warmth down to the very inside of his bones. Now that Meena was once more in his arms Johnny felt his growing resolve harden into a stone that sat low in his stomach and demanded to be addressed. But now wasn’t the time. For now, he was content with holding her and swearing to himself that he would never let go.

“Welcome home Princess.” He whispered brokenly and he thought he felt her heart skip a beat and heart breath shudder out of her chest. He held onto her the longest, but eventually they had to let go of each other and leave the airport. Meena took a few moments to greet Johnny’s parents, who had been watching their display patiently. As they were walking out of the terminal, Meena’s mother to her right, her grandparents to her left, and Johnny hovering wherever he could, Eloise looked up at her husband with a smirk.

“I’m telling you. That boy is gonnah marry that little girl.” Marcus just chuckled and nodded his agreement.

When love is found (when love is found)

Unchained unbound (unchained unbound)

You’ll hear the sound of your heart beat.

Won’t have to try (won’t have to try)

You’ll feel alive

You won’t believe your eyes

And so the Princess came home

A week later and Johnny was standing outside of Meena’s new dorm room, pacing and muttering to himself. His sweaty hand was clasping a bouquet of daisies and his other one was nervously mussing up his hair. Johnny cursed under his breath and once more glanced at the intimidating door. It didn’t budge.

Johnny took a couple deep breaths and attempted to convince himself that telling his best friend that he had been in love with her from the moment he laid eyes on her wasn’t scary. It was petrifying. What finally drove him to knock on the door was the tiny optimistic thought that persistently insisted that she would fall into his arms and he would have everything that he ever wanted. His hand was shaking as he knocked and he wondered if Meena had even heard the whisper of a knock.

She had.

Meena opened the door with her signature sunny smile and Johnny felt his vocal chords and heart fail simultaneously. Her baby blues lit up when she realized who was waiting outside and she gently pulled him into the room. Spread all around the room were packing boxes still filled with stuff. She was in the middle of settling back into his life, her life, and now he was about turn everything on its head.

Still unable to speak he shoved the flower’s into Meena’s hands. She didn’t seem fazed by his oddly nervous behavior, instead inhaling the flowers’ scents deeply and hugging the bouquet close to her chest.

“They’re beautiful Johnny thank you.” She said softly and Johnny as pleased to hear that her nervous stutter had all but faded away completely. There was something new, something more confident about the way that Meena held herself and acted. It was a big change from her normal behavior, but it was not unwelcome. In fact it only made Johnny love her more. She could grow, adapt, learn and that was a beautiful thing to witness. His Princess was blooming into a herself, finally accepting her curves, her shyness, her skills. She found Meena in Paris.

“Yer welcome.” He finally choked out as he watched Meena find a vase and fill it with water for her flowers. Her movements were graceful and muted as she gave her utmost attention to her task. Johnny was easily mesmerized by her, just like he always had been. She was the most beautiful mammal in the world after all. Before he could lose his courage, Johnny cleared his throat and brought her attention back to him.

“Meena. I don’t kna ‘ow ter say this…. I’ve never 'ad the bloomin’ words until na… Well I mean I kinda 'ave them. “ Johnny said haltingly, his nervous gaze leveled in Meena, who was blinking at him in confusion, her expression unreadable. Johnny’s nerves spiked but he couldn’t stop himself. The words just kept flowing out, his heart was doing the talking not his brain.

"Ya were always so good at banishin’ every thought from me head. It’s a gift and a curse at the bloomin’ same time. Ya stop me Horse and Cart, ya ’re the chuffin’ center of me thoughts, ya ’re the bleedin’ starlight guidin’ me home. Ya ‘re me everythin’ and I ‘ave loved ya since ya first stood on me doorstep.” He knew that he was rambling but his admission still drew a startled gasp and a glisten from her expressive eyes.

“This year apart was…. agony. And I decided that I needed ter at least tell ya ‘a I feel in case ya leef me again.” His voice quieted and he drew up the remnants of his usually ginormous grin, trying to lighten the situation.

“Oh Johnny.” Meena’s eyes watered and Johnny felt his heart splinter at her tone of voice. But that didn’t stop him, nothing could stop him now, especially not common sense. He could only stand there and wait for her response, heart in his hands for her to take.

“I’ve loved you too, since the moment that you gave me that little stone. I won’t leave you again. I couldn’t bear it.” She whispered and Johnny’s heart did happy little flips in his chest. She collapsed into his strong embrace and suddenly Johnny found himself kissing the most beautiful mammal in the world.

Life was perfect again.

Just like the night sky comes alive I just wanna make her my starlight,

She’s like a full moon, hot like the sun, shines a light on everyone my starlight,

Oh Oooh she’s my starlight

My starlight,

It all began with a tentative knock on the door.

#sing the movie #johnny sing #meena sing #childhood sweethearts #my starlight

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