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buckypinetrees · 1 year ago

Text

Warm

Pairing: Bucky x Avenger!Reader (No use of Y/N)

Summary: You and Bucky are forced to go on a team bonding getaway together. Tensions rise.

Warnings: 18+ Minors Do Not Interact, enemies-to-lovers, boob play, oral (Fem receiving)

A/N: First fanfic I've written in years and the first time I've ever written for Bucky. Feedback is very much appreciated in the comments.

Part 2

You had run out of places to run. You had run further into the woods than you intended. You had been trained for this, you reminded yourself. Taking a deep breath, you scanned the area around you. The knotted mess of trees and plants surrounding you struck no chords of familiarity in your bones. You were lost.

“You lost, doll?” you heard a voice sneer. The voice of the man you were stuck with out here in the middle of nowhere for a “training session” Bucky Barnes.

“I’m fine,” you mustered as much anger and spite into your voice as you could manage.

“I could show you the way back.” The stupid smirk that pervaded your dreams gleamed.

You pushed forward avoiding talking to him further. You heard him try to continue the banter, but your mind was elsewhere. Stuck on the fact that you had to spend an insufferable week here with him in the name of team bonding. You understood why Steve had made the decision. The last fight between you and Bucky had ended in the drywall of the training room being completely turned to bits. But there had to have been other ways. Surely, they could have sent you guys on different missions, planning out your schedule so your presences never had the chance to grace each other. But no, here you were with the man who had made your entire time at the compound a living hell.

Finally coming out of your thoughts you examined the area surrounding you. The woods thickened and the whisper of birds sang above you. Peaceful. That was what this was. Maybe the first semblance of peace you encountered since yesterday when you were jetted here against your will. Your pleas for anything different fall on deaf ears. Steve had said it would be good for you.

You had sat in the clearing for what seemed like hours. The sun had started to set in the distance and the birds stopped chirping. The temperature had fallen what seemed like 20 degrees in an hour and you realized you didn’t have much time to get back to the cabin before you froze to death. Maybe death would be sweeter than the taunting and humiliation you would face if you had returned there. Before you left you told Bucky that you would rather die than spend a night in the cabin with him. Returning now would make it seem like you were weak, and you couldn’t stand the smug look that would be on his face when you returned.

“Still lost, little dove?” his voice rang in your ears.

“Don’t call me that” you bit back the urge to scream at him. He had been using these pet names against you from the moment you arrived. Seeing you as nothing but an average civilian.

“It’s getting cold out, and I’m not going to let your stubbornness get you killed,” Bucky admitted. You answered with a vulgar gesture. “Okay, have it your way, I’m returning to the cabin. You can follow me back or you can freeze.”

You heard Bucky’s footsteps soften as he started walking away. You rose, knees aching as you stretched them for the first time in hours. Trying to be as quiet and discrete as possible you followed his trail back to the cabin. It took you a while, not to realize how deep you had truly ventured into the woods. Watching him through the window you readied yourself for his snide remarks. You could handle this. You rarely lost your temper in other situations but with Bucky, there was just something truly infuriating about him.

Walking through the door, the smell of the stove pervaded your senses. He had made dinner, probably just for himself. The conditions of this little “getaway” were simple. The cabin was made available for you two to shelter in but everything other than that you would have to fend for yourself. So, no food, unless you hunted, no clean water unless you searched for it, and no heat unless you cut the wood yourself. You thought back to how stupid you had been. Instead of spending the first day here using your efforts to find any of these things, you threw a tantrum. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were until you smelled the aroma of food sizzling on the stove.

“Hungry, doll?” He sneered as if reading your mind. “Too bad you were lost in the woods the entire day. I only had enough time to find a meal for myself.” His eyes found yours as he hit his mark with his ravenous words.

“I said earlier, I am fine. I don’t need your help here. I’m on the team for a reason. I can survive the week just fine” not daring to give him the dignity of seeing you fail. You made your way towards the shower. You heard him chuckle behind you. You locked yourself inside the bathroom, trying to steady yourself. You hated the smug expression on his face. He would be truly handsome if he didn’t have such a bitter interior. Being this close to him made you want to rip his throat out. This was going to be a long week.

You emerged from the shower, dressed in your night clothes. The only luxury you and Bucky were afforded was packing your clothes for the week. Bucky was spread out on the couch, a grin spread across his lips.

“Oh, just so you know, I didn’t get any wood for the fire. I don’t need it seeing my enhancements and all, but you might get cold. Should’ve thought about it before you acted like a toddler earlier” his grin never ceased as he eyed you up and down. His gaze always felt dirty on your skin. He would never see you as part of the team. To him, you were just a stray they found and had the kindness to take in.

You didn’t deign to respond to his mockery. The less you had to talk to Barnes the better. You simply shuffled past him to reach the bedroom. An old shaggy duvet sat aloft a bed that looked like it hadn’t been used in decades, but it would do. You wrapped yourself as tightly in the blanket as possible already feeling the chill seeping into your bones, both from the cold and your lack of nutrition. You ignored it, wishing you could also ignore the whistles and hums coming from the living room. He was loving this. Your misery was delicious to him. He was drinking it in. You tried to turn off the thoughts running through your head and slept.

You had awoken in the middle of the night shivering. The cold is too impertinent now to ignore. On top of that, you were hungry. You hadn’t eaten since you guys had started the flight here, almost 24 hours ago. Tossing and turning, you had tried to stay in bed for as long as possible. Finally rising you made your way to the bathroom. It was a smaller room. Maybe it kept heat trapped in better. As you walked out of the bedroom, Bucky rose to sit up on the couch.

“What are you doing up?” His voice was husky with sleep. Any other man with this voice would make your toes curl and you would be completely pliant in his hands.

“I had to go to the bathroom.” You whispered out meekly.

“Sure, little dove, it’s not because your cold right?” You shook your head, not daring to talk again in case your teeth chattered. “You see,” Bucky continued, “with my enhancements, I could hear your little body shivering in that bed. The sound of your chattering teeth started to sound like white noise. You know I could help you if you just admit that you acted like a brat this morning.”

You scoffed at him. Why would you not act the way you had when forced to go on this little retreat with him? And what did he mean by helping you? You had had enough of him.

“I don’t need your help, Barnes. You’re an ass!” Your tone rises as you spit the words at him.

“You say one thing and yet your body betrays you every time. Look how hard you’re trying not to shiver. C’mon, just admit it. You acted like a spoiled little brat today and you need me to fix your mistakes.” His eyes never left your frame as he examined the way your body continued to shake from the cold.

“No.”

“Okay then freeze, but then you’re going to be weaker tomorrow because you didn’t get any sleep and then I’ll have to spend all day caring for your ass because Steve made me promise that I wouldn’t let you die out here” he grunted out. “So, either let me take care of you now, or deal with it tomorrow. It’s your choice little dove.”

You wanted to scream at him, fight him, anything to wipe the smug grin that sat on his face like a permanent fixture when you were in his presence. You felt the heat radiating off him. He didn’t even need a blanket to keep warm. Your words betrayed your mind as you muttered out a “fine.” He rose from his spot on the couch moving closer to you. That ever-present smirk waltzing towards you.

“I’d offer you a spot on the couch, but it might be a little small for the two of us. Shall we move this to the bedroom?” His eyes raked over your figure as he stepped closer. Just being this close to him was already starting to warm you up. Not to mention the heat that flooded your cheeks at the word he spoke.

He grinned as he gripped your hand. “Hmm, you are freezing.” A brief glimpse of concern showed on his face. “Don’t worry we’ll get you all warmed up doll.”

You followed him into the bedroom, assessing how you would get him back tomorrow for making you feel so weak. Climbing onto the bed you felt him wrap his body around you. A weird foreign feeling to be seeking out comfort from what you considered your sworn enemy. But he was so warm, and his hands felt so gentle as he traced lazy shapes onto your chill-bitten skin. Your head instantly went empty as you savored the way his body pressed against your backside. He truly was beautiful with his dark locks and his cerulean blue eyes. The cold must’ve affected you worse than you thought if you were thinking such sweet things about Bucky.

While you were lost in thought you had continued to shift ever so slightly against him. His hand stopped instantly steadying you.

“Stop moving” he managed to growl out with a hint of something different in his voice. Unconcerned you continued to shift as you tried to get comfortable and that’s when you felt it.

“B…Bucky” you managed to squeak out now aware of his current situation. His hands felt too hot suddenly. Your body temperature rises way too high as the flush spread from your cheeks to your chest. You thanked God as you realized it was too dark for him to notice the blush spreading throughout his body. You shifted so that your backside was no longer pressed against him. Your body fully turned to him now.

“I think I’m warm enough now Bucky,” your voice was barely a whisper.

“You know what I think…” Bucky paused assessing the words he was about to say, “I think you’re a brat who makes it so damn hard for me to think about anything but this when you’re in the room.” He punctuated the sentence by gripping your ass in his hands hard, earning a moan out of you.

“Bucky,” you moaned out brokenly, too high off adrenaline to push him away or pull him closer.

“And do you know what I think you truly need? To be taught to mind your manners,” His voice dripped with lust as he moved his lips to your neck barely ghosting them over your pulse point.

You were a mess against him. You felt the dampness in your panties and your blood pound beneath your skin. Every sense was going haywire as you felt his hands roam your body. He took his time grabbing at every inch of your skin through your clothes.

“Please” you choked out. “Please touch me.”

“Aww…She does have manners,” He responded mockingly. “But I am touching you, maybe I need to teach your patience as well.” His hands gripped harder into your sides as he positioned you beneath him.

Just as you opened your mouth to protest his teeth sank into the sweet spot on your neck. Arching your back trying to feel more of him, you whined against him. His metal arm came to rest against your hips keeping them in place as he slithered from you. He opened the blinds, so moonlight flooded into the bedroom.

“I want to see my meal before I eat it,” he smirked from his position by the window. The moonlight streaming showed how blown his pupils were, and if you had a mirror, you would assume yours would be the same. He moved ever so slowly towards you, the grin of a predator on his lips. His hands came to rest on the edge of your shirt.

“I’ve wondered how pliant you would be underneath me. How easily you would listen to every word I say” his hands began making quick work of your shirt exposing your bare breast to him. Your body shines blue underneath the moonlight.

“Beautiful,” he murmured more to himself than to you, but your body still keened at the praise. His hands explored the newly visible skin. You felt his warm tongue start to explore your right breast, giving little sucks and bites as he avoided your nipple. His metal hand doing the same motions on your left side.

“Bucky, please…” Your whines and groans were pathetic as you urged him to touch your most sensitive spots. Something about your feeble attempts at persuading him must’ve stirred something in him because he began to attack your breast with a new fervor. Your moans became even louder as he sucked and nipped at your budding nipples. His metal hand left your breast and steadied himself. His human one makes quick work to slide into your underwear.

“Someone’s so needy,” he tsked against your skin. His fingers explored the wetness found there. It was too much. Your head felt heavy and light at the same time. All sense of morality floated out of your head as you reached for his shirt. “Please” became your mantra as he continued to rile up your already supple body. You were pleading for this man you had run from earlier to hurry up and fuck you.

He removed his shirt and your underwear, and you sighed thinking you had finally gotten to the part where he slides into you. Bucky had other ideas as he pulled your cunt closer to his face. He let out an exploratory lick that had your body pressing against him further. He found a motion that you liked as he let himself feast. Your moans bounced off the wall fueling him further. He began to devour you.

“You taste so sweet” The vibration made your body bend further into him. Seeing this as a pleasant sign he sweeps his finger against your aching hole, watching as your eyes widen in anticipation. He slides it in, and you finally submit to him fully. Knowing that this man could do anything he wanted to you, and you would willingly take it.

He ate you like he needed you to orgasm. Like it was the sole purpose, he was placed onto this Earth. Your head began spinning. The heat begins building up deep in your core. You clenched around his skilled fingers and felt yourself tumble off the ledge letting out a string of words all broken and all ending in Bucky’s name. Your body shook as he continued through your orgasm until you were spent.

Doe eyes met Bucky’s gaze as you finally regained some sense. You reached for him, hands grazing his bare chest as you came down. Bucky simply separated himself from you, moving towards the doorway.

“Hope you’re warm now, little dove.” His smirk returned to his face as he left you and returned to the couch.

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crowsoundsonly · 4 months ago

Text

beautiful.

pair: matt murdock x neighbor!fem!reader

word count: ~4.1k

summary: your hot neighbor comes by to check on you when he hears some unusual sounds coming from your apartment.

warnings: a bit of an awkward reader for the first part but she gets it together :D; smut (at the end and i marked when it starts !) fingering (f rec); one use of y/n; guys i've never actually done any ceramics or pottery so i apologize for my ignorance to anyone who actually knows what they are doing. i tried. :) i also recognize that this isn't very realistic and that you probably wouldn't be doing this with your neighbor u barely know, no matter how hot he is, but you know. fantasy and fanfic and all.

a/n: hey guys!! it has been FOREVER since i posted a fic !! i wrote this today and am kind of impulse posting it lol. i've fallen deep into the matt murdock rabbit hole and i don't think i'll be emerging anytime soon. i hope you enjoy the fic !!

The feeling of wet clay in your fingers has always grounded you. Having converted a corner of your small New York apartment into a space for your hobby, you enjoy going to your pottery wheel and creating to the melodies of your favorite songs. Tonight, you needed the outlet more than ever.

Your mind spins as you shuck off your jacket at the door. You stride to your closet to pull out the t-shirt you always wear when you sit behind the wheel, trying to focus on hurriedly changing your clothes, begging your mind to leave alone the horrifyingly embarrassing interaction you just had.

Minutes before, you had approached your building with your headphones shoved in your ears, so you had failed to hear your neighbor, your hot blind neighbor, calling out to you to hold the door. You only noticed him when the door didn’t close properly due to his body being wedged between it and the frame. Ripping your headphones out of your ears, you apologized profusely, yanking the door open for him to awkwardly shuffle through, holding his cane out in front of him before retracting it to his body.

“I am so sorry! I am so sorry I didn’t hear you,” you exclaimed, stuttering out an explanation that you hope is sufficient enough to permit his forgiveness. “I didn’t hear you. I had my headphones in. I am so sorry.”

You clutched your headphones in your hand as you let the door close behind him. If you were not so rattled, you would have taken the time to really look at him. You have never had the pleasure of actually talking to your neighbor. You have only ever caught glimpses of him on the stairwell dressed in suits, very much like the one he was sporting today.

“Don’t worry about it,” he assured, “I run into more doors than I’d like to admit.”

At his words, you noticed the easy smile that adorned his features, leading you to believe that he was not really hurt, physically or otherwise. Still unsure as to what to do and still stunned that you were talking to him at all, you just nodded your head.

“Being blind and all,” he supplied when you didn’t respond or laugh at his joke, making you realize that you had nodded to a blind man.

“I’m so sorry,” was all you could get out, not specifying what you were apologizing for.

“You closing the door on me didn’t make me blind,” he joked, trying to help the awkwardness.

“No, I’m sorry. I know. I just realized that I had nodded at you and you couldn’t see it. I’m sorry,” you said, the headphones in your hand digging into your palm, sure to leave an imprint because of how tightly you were clenching your fist.

Your ears burned with embarrassment as heat flashed over your skin. You watched him laugh a little, his shoulders shaking slightly.

“I think you have said sorry more times in the last minute than I have heard in the last month. Don’t feel bad. I’m fine,” the man said as he began to step forward. “I’m Matt, by the way.”

He stretched a hand out for you to shake, but you had forgotten the headphones in your hand, so as you reached out, they clattered to the floor.

You cursed quietly, embarrassing yourself even more, apologizing yet again. You shook his hand quickly, supplying your name before bending down to gather your things at his feet.

“I’m beginning to think that you have some sort of complex,” Matt teased as you stood up, much closer to him than you should be upon first meeting. You were close enough to actually see yourself in the reflection of his glasses and smell the cologne he had on.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered for being so close, taking a step back, wanting nothing in the world other than to dart away and hide in your apartment and hope to forget this whole interaction.

All Matt did was laugh at your apology, set his cane back down on the ground, and begin tapping in front of him.

“It was nice meeting you,” he said politely as he found his way to the elevator. “Have a good evening, Y/N.”

“You, too, Matt. Sorry again.”

Your feet were stuck in place as you watched him get on the elevator, chuckling to himself. When you finally came to your senses, you began running up the stairwell, your stomach in your throat as you replayed the entire interaction with your hot neighbor in your head on an extremely embarrassing loop.

…

When Matt made it to his apartment, he stripped himself of his jacket, pulled a beer out of the fridge and sat down. He knows that he shouldn’t invade your privacy, but he was curious about what you were doing. It has been a few weeks since your first encounter at the door, and Matt’s curiosity about you has only grown. You have run into each other a handful of times since, but you tend to skirt away before the conversations can get beyond anything simply cordial.

On occasion, he will find your apartment with his ears and listen to the sound of you singing along to your music. There is often an unfamiliar sound coming from your apartment as well, one that he can’t pick out, especially when you have music playing over it. The sound is always a bit wet, so his mind initially thought of something a little more lewd than he should allow himself to think about you.

Matt listens for a moment longer, enjoying the sound of you humming and singing quietly. He was about to let his mind drift away from you until he heard a distinct clatter and a string of curses flow from your lips. He doesn’t hear anything for the next few seconds as he waits to see if you are okay. It feels like hours have passed before he hears you shuffling around your apartment, picking things up off the floor, sighing and muttering as you go. His curiosity gets the better of him, and before he can reconsider, he grabs his cane and walks out the door, intent on knocking on yours.

…

Groaning quietly, you scoop the clay off the floor. You had lost focus and control, leading you to make a mess at your wheel. With your rescued clay in hand, you begin preparing it to be molded again when you hear a knock on the door.

You are not expecting anyone, so you jump a little at the sound. Glancing down at your hands still holding the wet clay in them, you are at a loss at what to do. You shuffle to the door, peaking through the peephole.

At the sight of your neighbor, Matt, you step back and curse to yourself, embarrassed that you look a mess at the moment. He is blind, but you still don’t feel particularly presentable. Another knock at the door snaps you out of your thoughts, and in a bit of a panic, you call out, “Come in!”

The door slowly clicks open and your neighbor peeks his head through before opening it up all the way. He’s wearing slacks and a white dress shirt, tinted glasses covering his eyes, obviously having recently come home from work. You wonder how he could look so good in such a simple outfit, admiring the way his torso tapers down into his hips.

“Hi, Matt,” you breathe, clutching the clay in your hands, realizing that you are dripping a bit in your doorway. “Is everything okay?” you ask, still confused as to why he is at your door.

“I guess I was coming to ask you that. I was walking by and heard some thuds and wanted to make sure you were okay,” he smiles, leaning slightly on his cane.

“Oh! Yes,” you rush out. “I’m fine. I was just doing some pottery and I, um, my clay kind of flew off the wheel a bit. Would you like to come in for a minute?”

You had asked the question before really considering what that could mean. Without hesitation, Matt agrees and steps through the door with a few taps of his cane.

“You make pottery,” he states, a smirk on his face making you feel like there is some joke you aren’t understanding behind his words.

“Yeah, I converted a bit of my apartment into a studio for it,” you say as you start to walk further into your apartment. The clay in your hands starts to weigh heavy as you realize that it is keeping you from leading Matt around. “Sorry, let me put my clay down and I can help you to the couch.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Matt says, followed by your name. Your heart stutters at the sound of your name on his lips. “I can get around fine. Am I facing the right way at least?”

Your mind is racing, trying to catch up with what is happening. You thought that your embarrassing first encounter would have turned him off of ever wanting to get to know you, but it doesn’t seem to be deterring him.

“Yes, just about four steps in front of you is the back of the couch.”

You watch him begin to maneuver around the room before coming to your senses and swiftly setting your clay back down on the wheel. When you turn back around, he has settled into the couch and is folding up his cane.

“Let me wash my hands,” you mumble, striding to the kitchen to scrub the clay off your fingers.

Matt begins making conversation, asking, “How long have you been making pottery?”

He is kind to ask, seemingly genuine in his interest. Over the sounds of the faucet you answer, “I took a class in college. Picked it up as a hobby and have been doing it ever since.”

You can hear him hum as you turn off the sink, drying your hands. Tentatively, you join Matt on the couch, sure to leave a cushion of space between you.

“Do you want something to drink? Beer? Water?” you offer, standing before he even has time to answer.

“Water would be great, thanks,” he replies. You notice the way his lips turn up in a smile and his head cocks to the side as he talks, finding it quirky, if not charming.

You take a few deep breaths at the sink, calming your nerves that have your mind in a jumbled mess. Your hot, well-dressed neighbor is sitting on your couch, happily engaging in small talk as you sit in a ratty t-shirt and shorts. “What am I doing?” you quietly ask yourself as you pick up the glasses off the counter and bring them to Matt, waiting patiently on the couch.

When you offer him the glass, he thanks you softly, bringing the rim to his lips. You can’t help but watch intently, your heart picking up its pace at the thought of doing more with those lips than watching them.

“What do you do for work, Matt?” you ask quickly, trying to distract your own mind from your wandering thoughts.

“I’m a defense attorney. My friend and I have a firm we started together,” he says as he puts his glass down on the coffee table. You are impressed that he even knew it was there, but before you can think too long about it, he has asked you the same question.

“I’m an English teacher,” you say between sips. “At the high school on 76th. Twelfth grade.”

“Admirable,” he laughs. “I hated my English teacher.”

“Everyone who doesn’t end up studying English hated their high school English teachers,” you joke. “What did they make you read? Grapes of Wrath?”

This only causes Matt to laugh more as he nods, “Worst book I’ve read in my life.”

“Yeah, that one is a tough read,” you concede. “But at least it’s better than The Odyssey.”

“Well, you’ve got me there,” he smiles.

You are not exactly sure what Matt had hoped would happen when he knocked on your door, but you are sure it wasn’t to discuss literature.

“I’m sorry. I can somehow always bring books into the conversation. Is there something I can do for you, Matt?”

He shakes his head slightly, smile only growing wider. “No, I love reading so don’t apologize for talking about it,” he assures you. “And like I said, I was just coming by to make sure you were okay.”

“Right,” you breathe, nodding and smiling. “I’m fine. Just the clay.”

The two of you fall into easy conversation for the next hour, getting to know each other. You discovered that you both frequent Josie’s, the bar around the corner, surprised that you have never run into each other there. He teases you about your first meeting, calling you out for the plethora of sorries you said.

You enjoy talking to Matt. You find that it is almost effortless to do so. The conversation is seamless and you eventually make your way back to the topic of ceramics where you had started.

“Can I listen while you work?” he asks you. “I have always wanted to try pottery but never got around to taking a class.”

Shocked that he is asking to stay longer, and that he is asking with such surety, you agree.

“Yes, of course. You’re welcome to. Would you, um, would you like to try it?”

You glance again at his clothes which are far too nice to be doing pottery in, but you asked the question before you ever considered that.

“Could I? I would love to, if that’s okay,” he says, looking adorably eager.

“Of course. It is a little bit messy,” you say, getting up to find some clothes for him to change into. “Let me grab you some sweats or something.”

Shifting through your drawers, you find a pair of sweatpants big enough for him to wear. You bring them out and find that he has already unbuttoned his shirt, giving you a clear vision of his incredibly toned torso. Your breath catches at the sight, eyes unmoving as he removes the article entirely.

“I found some sweats,” you mumble, your throat suddenly dry. “I can find a shirt, too.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he dismisses, grabbing the sweats from your hands. “I don’t want to get all your clothes dirty.”

You breathe out a quiet, “Okay,” before leading him gently to the bathroom to change his pants.

When the door has closed behind him, you let yourself catch your breath, mind going into panic-mode as you comprehend what is about to happen. You are about to teach your hot, blind shirtless neighbor, Matt, how to work with wet clay. How in the world did you get here?

Suddenly, the door is open and Matt is shuffling to the middle of the room, glasses and dress pants removed. You grab his elbow and guide him to the stool in front of the pottery wheel. He sits down, and you let out a quiet breath.

“You ready?” you ask, pulling up another stool behind him.

“I’m ready,” he answers as he stretches his hands out to find the clay.

You start the wheel up and guide his hands with your own, reaching around him, one arm going over his bare, sculpted shoulder, the other weaving under it. Your skin tingles as your arm presses into his side, hyper aware of every centimeter of contact. Wet hands push and mold the clay, helping it take shape.

You can hear his breath falling short as you help him cup his hands over the clay. You talk softly, whispering directions and guidance.

“You’re doing great, Matt. You’re a natural,” you praise, causing his breath to hitch.

“I have a good teacher,” he whispers as his head leans back slightly to direct his comment to your mouth.

When you have a good round shape going, you press his thumb into the center gently, your chest pressing into his back in order to angle his hand correctly. Your heart pounds in your ears, hips shifting on the stool.

“Beautiful,” you breathe as the clay begins taking the form of a small cup. “You were perfect.”

“Thank you for teaching me.”

When your project is complete, you take your hands away from the clay and slow the wheel down until it comes to a stop. You do not move from your position around Matt yet, instead electing to guide his hands to the bowl of water you have beside the wheel. You submerge Matt’s large, calloused hands in the water, gliding your fingers over his palms in an effort to loosen the shell of clay forming around them. Your fingers weave through his as you clean them, the feeling of his knuckles catching on yours has a subtle heat surging to your core. You feel the raised scars that litter his hands and wonder who he fought to get them.

Matt’s eyes are closed as you work with his hands, your chest still pressed to his back. You hear him whisper your name, drawing your eyes to his. You know he can’t see you, but you feel his attention on you, making your skin flush with heat. He leans in slowly, his nose nudging yours before finding your lips with his own.

The kiss is slow, soft, unsure. Your breath flutters out of your nose as his lips begin to move. The feeling of his beard scratching at your chin causes your stomach to tighten and hands to grip his in the water. His tongue comes to press against your top lip, silently asking for entrance. You grant it as you tilt your head, finding the angle where your lips perfectly slot with his.

“Matt,” you mumble against his lips, causing him to pull away slightly, “come with me.”

You stand up slowly and wrap your hands in a towel, drying Matt’s with it as well. He stands up quietly and links his hands in yours, shuffling behind you. You guide him to the bathroom and turn on the spray of water from the shower head.

“I’m just going to wash your arms,” you explain. You know he could wash them himself, but you want to have an excuse to keep touching him. Your heart hasn’t stopped its steady thumping since you sat behind Matt at the wheel, and the pace only quickens when you help him put his beautifully toned forearms under the water.

For being so confident on the surface, Matt is exceptionally quiet. You expected maybe a few more suggestive comments or pick up lines, but instead, Matt has kept silent, only mumbling small thank you’s and hums. His eyebrows knit together in what looks to be contentment, almost bliss.

You run your fingers over his arms, fingernails scratching at his skin, rinsing away any remaining clay. When you have finished, you begin washing yourself, and having sensed this, Matt stops your movement and replaces your hands with his own. He quietly glides his palms over your forearms, scratching over your wrists. The tender actions have your breath coming in shallow pants as your eyes flutter closed at the feeling.

“Beautiful,” Matt whispers, parroting your comment from earlier.

You pull your hands out of the water, turning it off. Matt’s hands never leave your body. They slide up your arms and cascade down your waist. His lips find yours again as your wet hands weave their way through his hair. You gently press your hips to his which causes his breath to catch and hitch in a way that has you pressing yourself even further into him.

After a few more kisses, Matt pulls away for a second and removes his hands from your waist to loop them around your wrists.

“No one has ever been as gentle with me as you have been,” he says in a voice that is barely audible.

“You deserve it, Matt,” you say before leaning in to kiss him again.

(Smut begins here)

The two of you make your way out of the bathroom and back to the couch where your glasses of water were left unfinished. You lay down and guide Matt to the space between your knees. His hips press into yours, your core clenching and burning at the friction. Lips find each other as one of his hands comes to rest above his head while the other nudges its way beneath your shirt at your hip.

“Is this okay?” he asks softly, eyes open and gazing unfocused at your collarbones.

“Yes,” you breathe, “more than okay.”

At your words of consent, his hips start moving against your core, igniting a fire below your navel. His hands, still damp from the shower, slide up your bare waist, skimming below your breast. You had rid yourself of your bra when you had come home from work, completely unaware that you would be in this position a few hours later. Because of this, Matt has unadulterated access which you are more than happy to grant him.

Your hips roll into his, back arching when his thumb grazes your nipple. He hushes the quiet sigh that escapes you with a kiss, sliding his hand down your back. His lips move behind your ear, down your throat, and over the exposed skin of your collarbone. His hips have not stopped their slow circles, and your own meet him in rhythm.

You can feel your panties becoming soaked by the second, and as if he can read your mind, he pulls you up to straddle his lap, his hand coming to press gently to your core. You gasp at the pressure which elicits a smile and a hum from Matt.

“Can I touch you here?” he asks quietly.

You nod and whisper, “Please.”

“Can I take these off?”

Before he can help you, you stand up and slide your shorts down your legs and climb back in his lap.

“That’s a good girl,” he says, the words shooting straight to your core. You clench around nothing, your hips rolling in search of friction. Shaky breaths flutter from your lips, and the sound drives Matt crazy.

In one motion, Matt kisses you hard and open mouthed as his fingers push your panties to the side, pressing into your wet core. You suck in a breath at the feeling of his fingers swiping up and down, finding place inside of you. They move in and out, nudging the spot that has you arching and keening in his lap.

“I like listening to you,” he murmurs into your lips, capturing them in a kiss that has you moaning into his mouth. “Your breaths. Your moans. Let me hear you, sweetheart.”

His words draw a sigh from your lips, your hands clutching his bare shoulders as his fingers drive in and out of you. Covered in you, they find your pearl, pressing and stroking. It doesn’t take long for the coil in your core to tighten, your eyes to clench, and your hips to roll against his fingers.

“I’m so close,” you mumble, sighing and moaning as you chase your release.

“That’s it,” Matt says softly. “Let go.”

At that moment, the pressure in your hips releases and you let yourself come on his fingers, clenching around them as his thumb rubs over your clit. He guides you through it, kissing you as his other hand cradles your head.

“You were perfect, sweetheart,” he says, his praise soothing as you come down from your high. Your heart starts slowing its pace as you melt into Matt. He pulls his fingers out and wraps his arms around you, taking you in as you collapse into his form. You sit silently together for a minute while you catch your breath. You listen to his breathing, your face pressed into the crook of his neck.

“Matt,” you say, at which he hums in acknowledgment. “Thanks for coming to check on me.”

He lets out a laugh that comes out more like a huff. “Of course. I’m glad you were okay.”

“Do you want to come over again? I could show you how to make a bowl next time.”

He laughs but does not give an immediate response. For a second you thought that he was going to say no, your body panicking, your heart rate spiking, but before you started overthinking everything, he answers, “I would love to. And I’ll bring dinner next time.”

a/n: thank you so so much for reading !! check out my masterlist with a few other fics if you want more !!

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bookcrazyace · 9 months ago

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Dick & Jason and Why We Need to Stop Mischaracterizing Them and Their Relationship

I know it's been brought up a million times and will probably be brought up a million more times but I wanted to put my 2 cents in. Jason and Dick and their relationship is grossly mischaracterized and it hurts the narrative. Now there isn't anything wrong with a little ooc content I'm a fanfic writer and I've fallen onto some of the more fanon sides of things to make it fit my narrative better but the problem arises when people mistake fanon for canon and bring it up in serious fandom discussions.

Dick was the first Robin so we'll start with him first. Characterizing Dick as the happy-go-lucky Robin is very distinctly wrong and actually quite the opposite of what he actually was. Dick wanted revenge for the death of his parents and that's what drew Bruce to him in the first place. Bruce made Batman to focus his anger and grief into something productive that would help people. When he recognized the same yearning for vengeance in Dick he trained him so that Robin could be for Dick what Batman was to him, a coping mechanism. In the end Dick manages to let go of the notion of revenge and it means that Robin succeeded and he then takes on a new identity, Nightwing (Canonically Dick and Bruce start having arguments and that's more the reason he leaves but from a narrative perspective Dick going from Robin to Nightwing can be seen as him getting rid of the feelings of revenge and gaining new goals. Also it's an excellent juxtaposition to the fact that while Robin succeeded in freeing Dick Bruce is still Batman.) Dick starting off as a vengeful spirit and blossoming into one of the most outwardly cheerful members of the batfam (despite the most definitely present repressed anger) is so much more powerful than him essentially not changing throughout the entire story especially when you consider that multiple times in canon Bruce has said that NIghtwing is better than Batman and what Batman was meant to be.

Jason ever the fan favorite and probably the person in the batfam that is misharacterized the most (in my opinion) is the next topic of discussion. Jason being the angry Robin takes so much away from his story and honestly I'm not vibing with it. One of Jason's notable lines as Robin is the phrase "Being Robin gives me magic!"you surely can't hear that and picture a violent criminal in the making. Jason being a street kid that jacks tires for a living but still being kind and childishly innocent makes him as Robin so much more interesting. Jason's drive to help people is obviously heavily influenced by his mother and how he took care of her up until her death. The tragedy of his mother's death is what drives Bruce to him. Of course Jason's process of becoming Robin wasn't immediate like a lot of people believe, Jason was actually sent to an all boys school for a short period of time before realizing they were a front for a crime ring he then helped Batman take down their operation. I feel like after seeing all that one would lose their faith in most people but Jason didn't remember he wasn't Robin until after this incident and he still was so happy and bright. The big turning point in Jason's story (from what I remember I haven't read the comics in a while) Batman suspects he pushes a man they were chasing off of a roof (I don't remember if it's ever made clear whether he did or not) this puts a pretty big strain on their relationship. Soon after all that goes down Jason finds out that the same mother he grew up with, the same mother he took care of, the same mother he watched die isn't actually his mother. The tense atmosphere between him and Bruce in combination for his yearning for answers leads him to run away to find her. When he meets her she sells him out to the Joker who subsequently beats him with a crowbar and leaves him to die in a warehouse that's rigged to blow up. Jason's mother is in the warehouse too and he does everything he can to save her. In the end they both die but when Batman questions her Jason's mom tells him that he tried to save her. In most modern iterations of Jason's death story his mother is written out and his death is pinned on him and his "impulsive and brash decisions". When Jason comes back to Gotham after his revival he seeks vengeance and is incredibly violent a very stark contrast to the bubbly kid that was just happy to be there. Two of his most notable actions as Red Hood are decapitating the lieutenants of the top crime lords and delivering them in a duffel bag and attacking Tim Drake the new Robin in Titans Tower. Jason's main drive for attacking Tim and becoming a crime lord is the fact that he died, he died as Robin and he didn't think that children should have to take on crime in the way Bruce did Jason decided that the best way to get rid of crime was to control it. The way Jason went from sunshine personified to a gritty crime lord who was willing to kill is what makes his story so interesting. The way an innocent child that got exposed to the darkness of the world and got swallowed by it is what makes the story so meaningful. In comparison to Dick, Jason is Batman's greatest failure he became the very thing Bruce tried to prevent him from being, a vengeful spirit that kills. In some ways Dick and Jason's stories are opposites and parallels.

Now for Dick and Jason's relationship. Despite what a lot of people think Dick didn't hate Jason when he first appeared (I think there was a point where Dick wanted to adopt Jason but I don't remember). Making Dick hate Jason as Robin sort of ruins both of their character arcs Dick evolved past his hatred and need for vengeance and thus adores Jason, Jason growing into someone so angry and hating Tim as Robin despite the fact that Dick showed him so much kindness makes everything hit so much harder.

In conclusion, this isn't really a huge deal but I've been thinking about it a lot recently. I've written and read fics where Jason was an angry Robin and Dick was a happy one. I've written and read fics where Dick hated Jason at first. Fandom is all about what fans do with a piece of media they like and at the end of the day the characters can be whoever you want them to be. Don't let this post uninspire you or make you feel called out if you enjoy the more fanon dynamics and personalities of these characters. Fee free to point out any inaccuracies to me it's been a while since I've read the comics.

#batfam #batman #jason todd #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing #dc comics #dc universe #batfamily #canon vs fanon #fandom #fanfic

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blackhakumen · 24 days ago

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Mini Fanfic #1239: The Return of Triple N Challenge (SSBU X Darkstalkers)

It was a nice, peaceful morning in the city Smash Town. The sun continues the rise, the birds are chipping in their own pace and melody and our two unusually cute pair, Dedede and Morrigan Aensland are currently resting inside the comfort of the former king's bedroom.

They had another lovely night together yesterday. They took the Smash Kids trick-or-treating all around town, danced the night away at Halloween party back at the mansion, watches Sonic League gets first place at the Costume Contest afterwards while the Salior Moon Squad gets second, and crashed back to De's room as they watch old Halloween movies together and making slow, sensual love for rest of the tonight untill they were both fallen fast asleep.

Every day and evening spent with Morrigan would always find a way to put a smile on the former king's face. Her irresistible beauty mixed with her fun, outgoing personality are more than enough for him to fall for her completely. Sometimes I made him question how in the world he managed to score with someone as amazing aa her to begin with, but it was neither here nor there ultimately. They are happy together and that's all it really matters to both of our lovebirds in the long run

'Buzz' 'Buzz' 'Buzz' 'Buzz' 'Buzz-

'Click'

Dedede: (Reach his Arm Back From the Alarm He Just Turned Off Before Stretching It Up in the Air and Let Out a Loud Yawn) Another good day to be alive.....Morning, Morr.

Morrigan: (Wakes Herself Up as Well While Letting Out a More Cute Sounding Yawn Before Rubbing her Eyes) Good morning, my dear king~ Did you have yourself a good sleep last night?

Dedede: (Smiles Brightly) Oh yeah, definitely. Even more so since I've spent it here with you~

Morrigan: (Heart Begins to Melt in Pure Happiness as She Hugs Dedede's Stomach Next to Her) Ohh you sweetheart of a man~ I love you so much~ (Gives Dedede's Stomach Some Kisses)

Dedede: (Notices a Few Other Teal Colored Kiss Marks Imprinted on his Stomach) Girl, have you been kissing my stomach all night?

Morrigan: Why, of course!~ (Happily Snuggles onto her King's Stomach) It's far too big, squishly, and cuddly to NOT shower it with my undying love!~ (Gives De's Stomach One Big Kiss) I hope you don't mind.

Dedede: (Casually Shrugs) Hey, if it helps you get more comfortable, that's good enough for me. (Rubbing the Back of his Head While Smiling More Sheepishly Now) But I uhh....('Heh') Hope my.....performance tonight was up to liking and whatnot.

Morrigan: (Smiles Softly) Oh there's no need for you nervous at all, my dear. You were remarkably wonderful the whole night through. In fact, I say that your endurance and performance are far more superior than all the other guys I've dated over the years.

Dedede: (Eyes Widened in Genuine Surprise by the Very Positive Feedback Given to Him) Damn, really? How the others do?

Morrigan Some were passable, others were let downs, but none of them will ever match your level of love making. You were so gentle and patient with my antics, yet so rough and bold when the time calls for it!~ ('Sighs Dreamingly') It makes me fall head over heels for you all over again~ Surely you've given your previous dates this incredible experience in the past, no?~

Dedede: Girl, I couldn't even walk a single out of them out restaurant without getting stood up or dragged into some insane BS until you came around in my life. But goddamn....(Starts Chuckling Proudly) Who's the man? I got this sex game by the ass!

Morrigan: (Giggles Softly) Indeed you have, my dear!~ We should definitely do this again sometime~

Dedede: ('Sighs Relaxingly') Absolutely~ A real shame we can't do anymore of that this month Goin forward.

Morrigan: (Eyes Widened in Genuine Shock) What!? Why would you say- (Starts Sighing and Pinching the Bridge of her Nose at the Realization) Ohhh please don't tell me you're taking part in that silly No Nut November Challenge this year......

Dedede: (Smiles Brightly) Yeeup! This is my fifth or sixth run, so I got mta bring my a-game on.

Morrigan: Considering all the times you've failed previously?

Dedede: (Slouches his Upper Body Down With a Deadpinned Look on his Face) Yeah.....Like, I don't get it. One moment, I'm prepared myself for inevitable, fully invested and focused at the at the journey ahead at the top of my game and then the next, without any rhyme or reason, I folded. EASILY! All thanks to por- I-I mean! Uh- ('Clears Throat') Videos of life and....nature. Definitely PG and-

Morrigan: (Giggles Some More) Darling, darling, relax!~ There's no need to be ashamed of watching pornography from time to time. God knows I have.

Dedede: (Eyes Widens Up Again) You watch porn.

Morrigan: (Proudly Nodded) Indeed I have~ It all started days after Lilith and I moved to our very own mansion together. I was sitting in the living room, changing every channel on the TV in pure boredom as we wait for our pizza to arrive. That is until we eventually stumbled upon a few "adult" channels. The shows were as raunchy and exotic as one would expect, but they've also provide shows that explain their rich, artistic, historical origins centuries prior. Kinky as most of them are, it did managed to make me invested enough to appericate the craft itself overtime and that's something I never have any regrets over whatsoever.

Dedede: (Almost at a Loss For Words) .........Where the hell have you been all my life?~

Morrigan: (Playfully Shrugs) I've been all around the globe, undetected! (Gently Grabs Hold of Dedede's Hand With a Very Loving Smile on her Face) But I'm here now, my king~ And I do not plan on ever leaving your side anytime soon, as I'm far too difficult to get rid of~ (Starts Kissing on Top of Dedede's Hand)

Dedede: (Chuckles Ticklishly by Morrigan's Kisses) As if I wanna get rid of you at all! I love you too much to doing all that, Morr~

Morrigan: (Hearts Begins to Melt Once More) I love you more~

'Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz' 'Buzzzzzzzzzz'

Morrigan: (Facepalms Herself While Groaning) ('Uggggggggggh')

Dedede: Work calls?

Morrigan: ('Sighs in Defeat') Unfortunately. (Picks her Phone Up From the Counter Next to her Side of the Bed) I also have another busy schedule on my hands today, so I'm afraid I must go. (Turns the Alarn From her Phone Off) You don't mind me using your shower for the time being?

Dedede: Not at all. It's all yours.

Morrigan: Thank, dear. (Kiss Dedede on the Lips Before Getting Up Outta Bed) Are you absolutely certain you want to go through with this silly challenge?

Dedede: (Simply Nodded) I think so, yeah. Gotta prove myself I am just as much of a man as everyone else in this crazy world, you know?

Morrigan: (Gives her Boyfriend a Reassuring Smile) You'll always be a man in my heart, my love. But I'll root for you nonetheless. While also doing......This!~ (Opens Up her Shirt Wide For her King to See)

Dedede: (Immediately Taken Aback by his Girlfriend's Degenerecy) Woooooah there, girl! You're exposing yourself to me in the early morning!?

Morrigan: (Puts on a More Cheeky Smile) Indeed I am!~ Is that pecker of yours gotten excited?

Dedede: (Looks Down Under the Covers For a Few Seconds Before Turning Back to Morrigan) Not by much, but it's about to be if you don't cover up soon.

Morrigan: (Giggles Once More as She Covers Herself Up) Good, good. Because starting today, not only will I root for upbrings, but I will also be the obstacle getting in your way to your goal. (Forms a More Evil Smirk on her Face) And I will not rest until I see that precious nut of yours break into absolute oblivion~ (Makes a Single Kiss Noise of Death Before Smiling Brightly Again) See you back in a few!~ (Let's Out an Elegant Laugh Before Hovering Herself Onto the Bathroom)

'Door Closed'

Dedede: (Eyes Already Widened in Horror the Whole Time) .................................I ain't gonna make it through month, aren't I?

Dedede's Challenge has now begun.

@bestpony666

@tampire

@caleb13frede

#super smash ultimate #darkstalkers #king dedede #morrigan aensland #takes place the day after halloween #cute romance #humor #fluff #dedede x morrigan #no nut november

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cam24fan · 1 month ago

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Fanfic? Character study? I don't know. First thing I've written in quite a while though.

....

Dear Nanami,

Here I am again, writing letters I can never post. Unlike the ones addressed to Utena Tenjou, this letter will never reach its intended audience not beacuse I don't know where to send it, but rather as I doubt you would be too pleased with me knowing where you live. If you were to ever read this I know you'd find me pathetic, still clinging to the memories of people who have long since left me. How far your mighty brother has fallen! I used to mock the other duelists for their seemingly masochistic attachments, but now I wonder if even a little empathy would have left me with some semblance of friendship or family.

We used to have a family, do you remember? I'm not talking about the Kiryuus, but before. The four of us in a cramped, desolate apartment, with barely enough space to move or play without tripping over the countless bottles on the dirty floor. My earliest memory in that place is of the day you were born. You were such a tiny thing, barely bigger than my arm now. Perhaps it reflects on our guardians' negligence, that they entrusted the care of an extremely fragile and fussy creature to a boisterous 3-year-old boy, but I had learned by then to be careful with my toys. You were utterly mesmerized with me from the start, and I in turn was fascinated by you: your big wet eyes like those of an impressionable duckling and bald egg-head that soon cracked to reveal a luscious yolk of golden locks. I was envious, my own hair was chopped short suitable for a boy and it was a couple of years before I'd be made to grow it out. So, I would comb each strand of yours carefully, while narrating stories about a princess with magical hair (it was mostly from my own imagination, the books we owned were torn and incomplete). Eventually, I began encouraging you to repeat sentences back to me. "Brother" was the first word you learned to say, but by the time of our final conversation together you could barely choke it out.

The last time we spoke to each other was when you found out about our adoptive "father". I'll admit I found some petty satisfaction in your distress. "Serves her right," I thought. "Look at her begging and crying. She has realized how much she needs her brother to survive." It struck only years later that your pleas weren't for yourself, but for me. You asked me why I lied, why I continued to protect the head of the Kiryuu family even then, and I, intending to hurt, retorted that I wasn't spoilt like you, that I was thankful for the opportunities given to me through this transaction. It sounded more self-deprecating than anything and you accused me of sounding "robotic". Robotic? I didn't understand that. That word in my head was reserved for Anthy Himemiya, and her creepy soul-less smile, a mere facsimile of true affection. I wasn't like her; I couldn't be like her. She was an object at the mercy of her code, rewritten to suit the needs of whoever owned her at the time. I preferred to think of myself as an actor, selling a story to the audience, inciting emotions I never felt myself. I didn't once question whose script I was following.

The Prince protects the Princess. That is the universal law. We were neither, but I tried my best to pretend anyway. It's a bad habit of mine: making Faustian bargains with men I think I'm equal in power to. The first of those being "Leave my sister alone, and I'll do whatever you ask." Do you see why I began to resent you? I had sold my soul to preserve your innocence. Hate and love are two sides of the same coin and that decision was what finally flipped it for me. With the Kiryuus, my hair grew longer and yours wilder, but I had plenty to eat for the first time and months of respite in between when our "father" would leave for business. No, I was never "grateful" as I told you, but when I joined Ohtori, "Rich Heir To The Oldest Family In Japan" was a role I was glad to be casted in. Girls flocked to me, boys stared me with a mixture of jealousy and awe, and then came the letters. At first I was suspicious, even more so than the others, and perhaps that was what drew Akio's attention the most. I had no need for fairytales anymore, but what I did want was power. You told me once that you wanted to surpass me, surely you can understand that I wanted the same? I wanted to surpass who I was, the vulnerability I felt, the helplessness, the pain, all of it. For that I needed power, and I didn't care who I had to step on to get it.

Nanami, you and Saionji were never close, yet your recollections of our childhood are near identical, and vastly different from mine. You both think that there was a time when we were happy, before whatever event your brains' latched onto as the moment that changed everything. That was never the case, our whole lives have been those moments one after the after, that was just when you realized. The day I met Akio in person for the first time he asked about my family (he already knew everything, of course). I told him that we were a normal nuclear family, just like any other- a "father", "mother", "brother" and "sister". He asked if I was lonely, I said, "No, I have a friend here with me." Then, he asked if I loved any of the people I mentioned. Would a "normal" person have answered yes? No, a truly "normal" person would have been horrified to be questioned like this in the first place. But I wasn't "normal", and Akio knew that. I didn't love you. That so-called "love" between us did nothing to save me as a child, nor did it alleviate my pain in the slightest. The only logical conclusion, then, was that "love" was a construct designed for fools to fall into the traps of those much smarter than them (Do you remember Juri and her love that could never be realized? What about Miki? Kozue once told me, while drunk, that her brother didn't love her anymore now that she had been revealed to be a "witch", so she would keep sleeping with guys, hurting him more because his "love" didn't protect her either).

Yet, there was a part of me that couldn't wait for you to join Ohtori. A part of me that was thrilled whenever you acted like a heartbroken spouse catching her adulterous husband in the act. Not out of a sense of romance, that was another thing I made up to hurt you, but because (as I much as I loathe to admit both then and now) you were much more my Prince than I was ever yours. I didn't love you, Nanami, but I wanted your love to save me. The girls (and boys, sometimes, I don't know if you knew that) I would use to pass the time blended together in a swarm of "I Love You"s and "Do You Love Me?"s and "Why Didn't You Call Yesterday?"s, and there were times I was tired, so tired, of them. So I used up more, thinking there had to be some satisfaction in breaking them down, reducing them to desperate, dependant messes just like I'd been. You were the only one who could break that endless loop; you were the only one who tried. By then, however, I had been convinced that pure "love" didn't exist, it was just a farce. Then what was it that led you back to me? No matter how much I hurt you? Akio spoke of the stars, of providence and fate, of a pre-destined path that intertwined brothers and sisters for eternity, but I had never cared for any of his more fanciful ideas. I was practical: there was a sure pattern, one thing everyone I'd ever known had asked of me, indirectly or directly, and that was certainly what you wanted too. Akio and Anthy only confirmed my suspicions; I wasn't shocked when I found out, because to me that was the only answer that made sense (But that wasn't why Anthy stayed, was it? It was love, after all, and when she found someone who could love her back with the same selflessness, she left).

I did many terrible things back at Ohtori, as did many of our peers I'm sure. There are moments, even now, where I feel justified in some of my actions. On my worst days, I feel vindictive satisfaction. "They deserved it," I think, although I doubt I believe that even then. Most of all, however, I feel regret. Even though no amount of remorse could even attempt to piece back our broken relationship, allow me to wholeheartedly apologize for what I did to you that day, in that car. I wished I could take it back as soon as the moment I had uttered those words. Even when I realized something was terribly wrong, you weren't reacting according to the script, I doubled down, pretended it was something I wanted. Yet, my question to you was entirely honest. I truly was confused, Nanami, how messed up is that? It took me years, decades even, to begin to realize "what it was you wanted". Forgive me if I'm wrong, but in the end, wasn't it what anyone ever really wants?

"Love".

I lied, Nanami. Again. The truth is, deep down, even if I didn't comprehend it myself, I did love you.

I didn't love you then. But I think I love you now? Is that enough?

I never loved you. I wish I did. I truly, truly wish.

When I saw you standing long after your rose had been scattered, still angry, still determined, I knew that you were much stronger than I could ever be. I was jealous, yes, but also proud, although I had long since lost the right to be. I'm proud now. Long after Ohtori, and you're thriving. I watch every single one of your movies, even if I don't understand most of them (perhaps you are smarter than me, too). Sometimes, I take our daughter to see them with me. She enjoys them immensely. Her name is Nanami too, and I couldn't be prouder of her. She doesn't look anything like you, but I hope all those films she's seen since childhood influences her to be just as strong and intelligent. I hope I am able to give her the love I never gave you.

Your brother (because, in the end, you're still my sister), Touga.

....

#rgu #touga kiryuu #nanami kiryuu #Why did I write this

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prinnamon · 4 months ago

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Hello! I saw your post about subtitling and fanworks other than fanart and fanfics and you mentioned being a subtitler yourself. If you’re okay with answering this could I ask how you started being a subtitler? (if that’s even how it works lol) I’m guessing it depends on what you’re subtitling but I’ve always super appreciated subtitles and the ppl that make them and think it would be fun to do

hope you have a nice day/night!

this ask sat in my inbox for a while because sadly my PC's power supply unit failed and made it less convenient for me to write lengthy posts. however! i'm back in the swing of things and im too excited to let it sit here any longer.

long post under the cut!

to start off, i wanna make it clear that what i do currently is write english-language subtitles for english-language content on YouTube! there is no translation involved. i'm not confident enough with any other languages to sub any other kind of content. so all the advice i can offer is gonna be related to my specific experience! (i'm learning that maybe i should have used the word "captions" instead of subtitles to eliminate confusion. you can tell i am an amateur and not a professional since i thought the words were largely interchangeable)

i started doing captions for fun several years ago as a fan of The Shrieking Wizard Co! that company/channel had an associated discord server, and there was a section for fans to submit captions for their videos using a service called Crowdscriber. i was not super good at it or familiar with any of the best practices at the time, but i could make out even overlapping voices pretty well and i had a lot of free time!

the SWC is no longer around as a company, but even before that i'd fallen off of doing captions for them since school started to eat up all my free hours again. recently, though, i picked the habit back up and started doing captions for a niche machinima series that a friend got me to watch! the first episode and a half already had captions, so i was dismayed when i realized the rest of the series lacked them. in a sort-of special feature video from a couple years back, the creator mentioned plans to enable community captions so fans could pitch in if they wanted! however, since then, YouTube has removed the community captions feature.* but the creator is still active and the series is still ongoing, and i figured i probably had the tools available to me to caption the episodes on my own. i reached out to ask if he'd like the help, and he said yes! so wahoo!

a lot of creators would probably be happy to accept volunteers to help them with captions. some larger creators may even be open to offering someone a paid job at it. the worst they can do is say no or not respond, so there's really no reason to be afraid of reaching out about subtitling one or more videos that mean a lot to you! sadly, this is not going to be as reliable for older stuff on abandoned channels. you may have the resources you need to subtitle something but no way to reach out to the creator so that your subtitle files can be uploaded and seen.

the first step of my process was to download all the episodes of the series that i wanted to caption! it's also fine to go one at a time if you lack the storage space, of course. i used VLC to download YouTube videos (check out this tutorial! it wasn't what i used at the time, but i think the one i did use is out of date and your odds with this one might be better!), but i know there are other reliable options out there.

YouTube's built-in caption/subtitle editor is pretty ass and not fun to work with! i find it frustratingly limiting. luckily, there are free programs which do it better. i've got decent experience editing videos, so the free version of the program DaVinci Resolve is my subtitle editor of choice since it feels very much the same as editing videos like i'm used to. i'd open it up and take some screenshots to show off the process, but my PC is currently not functioning. i will say that i found it pretty easy to muddle through after a couple basic "how to add subtitles in DaVinci Resolve" tutorials.

i still don't know if i'm the best person to give lessons on best practices for captioning, but here are some very basic guidelines i try to adhere to:

don't let captions take up more than two lines on screen at their standard size! three or more lines of captions cover a lot of what's happening on screen. there are times when it might be absolutely necessary because characters' lines are overlapping while other sounds are also occurring which are crucial to the viewer's understanding of the scene, and that's okay, but 3+ lines of captions should really be a rarity.

generally try to have one sentence on screen at a time! there are plenty of exceptions to this. for example, a character may utter several short sentences in a short amount of time (eg. "Yes. Okay. I understand.") which don't make sense to break up any further because the captions would be flashing on screen for such a short time, impeding readability. moreover, a character might say a sentence that needs to be broken up at a logical midpoint so it doesn't take up three or more lines on the screen.

preserve comedic and dramatic timing. sometimes the above rule must be sacrificed so that the punchline of a joke or the narrative twist of the knife is not revealed before it's supposed to be revealed.

sounds that characters acknowledge and react to, or which impact your understanding of the scene, should be represented with a caption. the audience probably needs to know about [distant gunfire] and [pained scream]. however, in a lot of cases, a sound is implied by what the audience can see or is unnecessary to their understanding of the scene. the audience probably does not need to be told that the door which they can see opening is making the sound that a door makes when it is opened. the audience can probably infer that the character who they can see walking is making audible footsteps. but then there are times when these sounds might be important because the characters comment on or react to them. it's situational. i say use your best judgment.

generally, above all, be courteous and remember that subtitles are a tool, and they're not something silly with. it's really not the place for jokes. it's more clear and useful when a gasp is captioned as [gasp] as opposed to [O_O] or [le terrified gasp]. it's more clear and useful to describe the sound of an airhorn as [airhorn] than to write [HOOONK!!!]. and please don't use captions for extensive easter eggs and inside jokes. like alt text, it's not a place to hide treats for people who click a secret button. it's an accessibility tool. (i'm pretty serious and passionate about this point, and i don't wanna see jokes about it in the reblogs or replies.)

if you can understand and transcribe what's being said, you Must do so accurately. this includes swear words. this includes slurs and disrespectful language and words and subject matters you're uncomfortable with. if you can't bear to type these things out, you're not the person who should be writing captions for this particular piece of media. if a hearing viewer can hear it, it must be captioned. deaf and hard-of-hearing viewers deserve to know exactly what is being said.

this page might be able to help you get started with some more specific professional guidelines! i disagree with some of these; for example, subtitling a foreign language as [speaking French] is really not ideal, because a hearing viewer who speaks French would be able to understand what was said, so you're giving the folks using the captions an incomplete experience. like i said above, if you can understand what's being said, transcribe it accurately.

YouTube accepts at least a few different file formats, including .sbv and .srt (if you're saving as an .srt from DaVinci Resolve, make sure to check ".srt Without Formatting"). proofread your work before sending it out/uploading it to catch surface errors! in fact, i recommend checking the captions in YouTube's subtitle editor by uploading them on a private video to see whether it throws up any errors at you or has any unintended formatting junk that you need to go back and eliminate.

i hope this was somewhat helpful and can maybe inspire you to go for it yourself! this mostly felt like me rambling about my personal experiences and opinions, haha. at the very least, if this didn't make any sense, maybe you can look at it and go "well if she's this incoherent and can still write captions/subtitles then certainly there's hope for me" lol. thanks for inviting me to talk about the thing i'm passionate about. it's a joy whenever someone asks me about this. i hope to get to do it as a job someday (though i'm not looking forward to when i inevitably have to caption somebody as [speaks Spanish] due to professional practices).

*i have heard from one or two folks that YouTube's now inviting viewers to contribute captions in a different way, by "providing corrections" to a video's auto-generated captions! even if this is true, i have to say it doesn't really excite me. in my opinion, trying to work around the automatic first pass is usually a worse experience than starting from scratch. the auto-generated timings tend to be really bad, usually not cutting naturally at the beginnings and ends of sentences, and that's ignoring the fact that auto-generated captions also censor swears and transcribe many things incorrectly. YouTube really should never have removed community captions. i hope they get brought back or replaced in a meaningful way

#prinna's posts #essay in chat #asks #soulsofthewicked #subtitles #subtitling #fan subs #fansubs #captions #captioning #<-tags so newcomers to my blog can hopefully find it more easily

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im-no-jedi · 7 months ago

Text

alright. it’s finally time. after almost four years, the series that radically changed my life is coming to a close. I’ve seen several other people make posts about this, so I think it’s only fair that I write my own. be warned, this is going to be long, rambly, and only somewhat coherent LOL

when this show was first announced, I was shocked. although I had fallen in love with the Bad Batch during their arc in TCW, I was unsure how an entire show surrounding them could work. I was even more skeptical after I saw the trailers, which had this mysterious child show up. and as I’m sure all of you know by now, my feelings quickly turned around just after the first episode. I immediately was endeared to Omega and looked forward to seeing how the rest of their story played out. by the time the first season had ended, I was already deep in the planning stages of writing out my self-insert series, MLWTBB.

I honestly didn’t expect to love this show as much as I do. but I quickly realized why after the first season ended. (I'm gonna sound like a broken record for some of you, I'm sure LOL)

firstly, the characters. like I said, I loved TBB from the moment we saw them in TCW. and I immediately liked Omega as well. but the way these characters have been portrayed and fleshed out has only endeared them to me more. it became clear to me very quickly that these guys were an eerily similar analogy to my own family. I already saw a lot of myself in Hunter, but the rest of my family are very similar to them as well, even down to certain dynamics between each of them. not only that, but their struggles also mirror my family in that we’ve suffered several losses in our lives too. my mom sobbed like a baby when Kamino was destroyed because she saw similarities between that and a similar loss we’d endured irl. which, for me, is why it hits SO much harder when something bad happens to them. Plan 99 was devastating for many reasons, but for me, because I see so much of my dad in Tech, it felt like I was losing both of them. and having already had struggles with my dad irl… yeah. I feel like these guys ARE my family now, which has been the running theme in MLWTBB. and it's been cathartic both seeing them get through their struggles in the show, as well as portray my own struggles through my writing.

speaking of my writing, this show has inspired me so much creatively, that literally nothing else is comparable. I had already ventured into the realms of digital art previously to watching this show, as well as publicly sharing some of my writing. but not only did my art significantly improve due to all the pieces I was drawing for this show... but my writing skyrocketed. I finished writing a fanfic for the first time since I was FOURTEEN. and I've both written and finished several stories since then. and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. my art and writing will continue to flourish long after this show is over, I'm certain of that 😁

another thing is the real life impact this show has had on me. and honestly, this is the big one.

some of you have been following me for over a year or more now, so you'll probably recall the struggles I've had with my mental health, especially last year. I'd suspected that I had some mental disorder for a while now, but it was only last year that I really began to pursue the idea of getting diagnosed and treated. it of course began in therapy, then moved to having discussions with my parents about it. everyone was very supportive of me, thankfully... except for one person. myself. despite all of the work I'd done to move forward in my life, this was the hurtle I was struggling with the most. the fear of the unknown has always terrified me the most, so this unfamiliar territory was like a nightmare-scape to me.

then "The Crossing" happened.

fandom had headcanoned Tech being autistic for a while previous to this episode, myself included. some even liked to think all of them were neurodivergent in some way, again myself included. so when this episode dropped and we basically got the confirmation that our headcanon was correct? that. that was the push I needed. seeing this character that I love SO much in a show that I love SO much not only confirming his neurodiversity, but embracing it??? I literally told my mom that weekend that I was finally ready to get tested. and the rest is history. I'm now officially a part of the ND gang, and I've never regretted it for one second \o/

not only that... but I'm on meds now. meds that have altered my brain in such a way that I've NEVER felt before. my anxiety and depression no longer have a hold on me, and it's all thanks to this show 💙💙💙

and leading into that, the last thing I wanna mention is the connections I've made through this show. my entire family is (mostly) SW fans, so I've always had them to fangirl and discuss SW shows with. but I've missed having friends outside of the family to connect with. it's been YEARS since I've been involved in a fandom that had such a lovely group of people. and I know what some of you might say. and you're right. of course there's toxicity, just like any other fandom. but I can honestly say, I haven't met such a welcoming and friendly group of individuals as I have with this fandom. I've made some real, true, long-lasting friendships because of this show, and I'll be forever grateful for that. do the meds help? absolutely. but remember, I never would've even been on meds rn if not for this show either!!

and on that note, I just wanna call out some of the lovely people I've met, some whom I've only gotten to know recently! 🥰

@photogirl894 my beloved Morgan, my little sis, the Omega to my Hunter. you've been nothing but a joy and a blessing to me since the day I met you. I truly believe the Lord led you to me so that I could properly start this journey towards recovery and growth. I love you SO much, sweetie, thank you for being you 💙💙💙

@heyclickadee my dear friend, the conductor of the Tech Lives train. I've so appreciated your insight and wisdom in regard to all of the insanity. you genuinely helped get me through my depression after Plan 99, and you've continued to uplift me with your positivity and hopefulness. may we finally get to see our nerd alive and well again in your honor 🙏🏻

@clonethirstingisreal sweet Carol!! fellow Hunter simp!! getting to know you has been nothing short of amazing and wonderful! I can't tell you how refreshing it is to see an older fan amongst the young'ins LOL. we've been able to relate to each other in SO many ways, it still astounds me. I look forward to seeing your journey progress in hopefully similar ways to mine! 🥰

@lightwise @freesia-writes @better-to-bee @probadbatch (spacing this out so y'all get tagged properly)

@jedi-hawkins @anxiouspineapple99 @arctrooper69 @sunshinesdaydream and everyone else I've gotten to know both here and on Discord, THANK YOU!!!! thank you for letting me into your lives and for all the joy and laughs we've had together. I consider you ALL my friends, and I'm blessed to have met you all 💙💙💙💙💙

and finally, because I know she'll berate me if I don't mention her too, my best friend and irl sister @jam-n-ham. gurl, we have been through it, haven't we? you've been the sole witness to my reactions every week, and for that, I apologize LOL. but we have fun, at least, right? 😆 we've spent HOURS talking about this show, and I'm sure we'll have many more hours to come. you've also supported me and my writing, which I'm eternally grateful for (even if you can barely stomach the Hunter romance scenes ROFL). I can't wait to add in your additions to the story, and for you to see what I've been cooking up 😁 thanks for always being my no.1 bestie 🥰🥰🥰

I don't feel like rereading this before posting, so if there's any typos or whatever, oh well. the fact that I even got all of this out tonight is a miracle honestly haha. now if you'll excuse me, I have to start compiling every single box of tissues we own before tomorrow 😝

oh, and one last thing. an addendum if you will. I haven't been posting much of my thoughts about the finale for many reasons, but I'll just say this. ever since "The Return", I've been rotating Hunter's last words to Crosshair in my head, on repeat.

enough said✨

#the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #tbb season 3 #tbb spoilers #I apologize for the word dump #brain is foggy and words are hard #and emotions are running high #I'll hopefully have more coherent thoughts after the finale LOL #star warz

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darkpoisonouslove · 4 months ago

Note

1, 2, 7, 8, 24, 25, 27 for fic writing asks :) Hope you’re feeling better!

Thanks!

1.the last sentence you wrote

Well, I posted the last fic I worked on so here's the last sentence(s) from my Fallen Love Chapter 3 doc:

Her head spun from just the couple inches her heels added to her height. She’d bet on practicality for years but combat boots would only take her back to the battlefield. They simply didn’t make sense without the threat of war hanging over her head.

(I was going to play by the rules but the angst doesn't really hit with just the last sentence so...)

2. a character whose POV you’re currently exploring

Oh, my god, I've got nothing for this. I have been sick for over a week. Before that I was barely working on that Erendor x Samara fic I wanted to finish. Tbh my head has been way more into House of the Dragon (heaven knows why when the writers are hacks) than any of my own stuff. Like, I am hyperfixating in the most annoying way where I'm not coming up with fic, I'm not really analyzing the text that much, I'm just rotating the same thought in my head like it's a microwave that doesn't work and I'm hoping the heat generated by the rotating motion itself will be enough to cook my fucking thought.

But yeah, if we're talking about actual writing, then I'd have to go with Griffin since Fallen Love is all from her PoV (and so are all of my other recent Griffin x Valtor ideas, which are all I have). She's, uh... She's having a bad time and I don't know how to make it better. The good news is that I don't have to yet but at some point she's going to have to figure out what to do with her life now that she's not at war every day and I. Don't. Know what I'll do then. For now she's having Realizations TM but those are def spoilers.

7. your preferred writing fonts

I don't have any. Unless the one that's already set isn't an abomination, I just don't care. I'm using Libre Office and my default is Liberation Serif so I'm just using that.

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

I suppose that fics that already have sequels planned don't count? I have several for which I'd write an AU but a sequel? Let's see.

Yeah, nope, I'll have to pick something from those that I've already thought of continuing.

Originally, Imitation Play was supposed to have a sequel but I decided that I don't have a clear enough idea for it so I've left it alone. I already have enough other stuff to work on but if I had to write a sequel to something I've already finished, I'd look at that one and try to figure out how to continue it.

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

Usually watch movies. Way more rarely read a book or fanfic. But if I'm looking to spark thoughts, then listen to a playlist or even make a moodboard (which I haven't really done recently). Recently I found out that spending time and having fun with your family can really charge you like nothing else. Huh, who would've thunk?

25. besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

There's watching movies and reading books. DIY. Drawing. Playing various games (sudoku, mahjong, jenga, crossword puzzles, chess occasionally). A couple more that I'd feel like a fraud if I list because it's really been years since I've done them.

27. your favorite part of the writing process

It's what would fall under outlining. When I'm making sense of the story and adding ideas, tying plot points together and just weaving it all into one. I like seeing how it comes together into a coherent story and since it's not super serious at that point, I don't have to stress out that much. I'm just throwing pasta at the wall and seeing what sticks. And then arranging the stuff that sticks into a coherent, beautiful pattern. I like that!

send me fic writer asks

#ask #her-majesty-wears-jeans #my writing #my wips #snippet #fallen love #winx griffin #personal #me

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cursedvibes · 7 months ago

Note

Because I'm terribly predictable: Yuuji and Kenjaku for the character ask/meme thing 👀

well, I'm the one with the predictable faves xD and I'll take any excuse to talk about them hehe

Yuuji

favourite thing about them

His whole character and character arc, honestly, particularly how he slowly becomes disillusioned over the course of the series and qualities that were there in the beginning like his latent suicidality and disregard for his body become more and more extreme the longer he works as a sorcerer. But if we're talking about something specific, I like how at first glance he seems like the typical happy-go-lucky shonen protagonist, but how this is often an act or a way to distract himself from pain. In reality he's quite the loner and tends to isolate himself from people. He'll easily make friends with other or get along with strangers, but he rarely lets people in and see his vulnerable side or opens up about his problems to them.

least favourite thing about them

Nothing really. Although I don't like how distanced he is from the whole Kenjaku being his mother thing. It makes sense for him to act this way, it's a defence mechanism and he's like this with all his extended family, but I wish he was challenged on this more. Or at all.

favourite line

"So long as I can kill him, I'll eat anything."

"I'm you. I wanted to reject you. Convince myself that you were wrong. But that doesn't matter now. I'm going to kill you. Even if you come back as another curse I'll kill you. Change your name. Change your form, I'll kill you again. I don't need to find meaning or a reason. [...] In the grand scheme of things I'm nothing but a cog. But I keep killing curses for as long as I can. That's my role in all this."

brOTP

Mostly Nobara, but I've also been really enjoying seeing him fight next to Maki and I like how their skills compliment each other. They're the only one besides Angel who can seriously hurt Sukuna. I also really like his relationship with Higuruma, the guilt they are struggling with and how they are both supporting each other in their death wish, despite not actually wanting the other to die. Although I don't know if I'd call that a "brOTP".

OTP

Once again, I don't really ship Yuuji with anyone, much less have a ship I'm really invested in (in contrast to you haha). I like him and Junpei when their taste in horror and being kind of outsiders is highlighted and I also like him and Todo in the sense of "bros who sometimes give each other a handjob to let off steam".

nOTP

Mainly GoYuu and SukuIta.

random headcanon

Not really a hc, but I think he started joining sociable clubs and trying to find friends in highschool because he knew his grandpa would die soon and he realized he needed people around him when that happens.

unpopular opinion

He's not a soft, whiny sunshine boy. He's nice, he loves his friends, he believes that almost everyone deserves being saved, but people sometimes tend to really infantilize him, especially in fanfics, so that he's barely recognizable. He already had a death stare in middle school and was notorious for beating up people/bullies. He's not gonna break down and cry because someone is being mean to him.

song i associate with them

Hirasawa Susumu - Royal Road Paradise. It's about a king overlooking his fallen country and wondering why the people around him are burning and suffering. He can't remember anymore what started all this. Especially after the recent chapter it seems very fitting and captures for me the spirit of jjk as a whole.

youtube

favourite picture of them

Kenjaku

favourite thing about them

Boy...where to begin. I love that they are a mad scientist, but they don't take themselves too seriously and don't fall into the common trap of being unaware of their own weaknesses. I like that they are at the core actually pretty chill. It's why they were able to stay unnoticed for such a long time (besides the body-hopping of course). Like they don't stand out like someone like Sukuna, Mahito or even Uraume if they don't want to because they just don't make that kind of ruckus. That leads to them being often overlooked or not taken as seriously, even by the protagonists. They also have pretty normal hobbies if we ignore the whole cursed energy manipualtion, merging of people etc. That's what's so great about it. They'll do the most abhorrent shit, but also do such basic things as watching stand-up comedy or reading manga. They have a fucking favourite comedian! And are apparently deep in the manzai lore. It's so ridiculous, I love it. Kenjaku is what keeps this series fresh and unpredictable, they sow chaos wherever they go. Miss them.

least favourite thing about them

Died too early and more importantly didn't get to meet Yuuji again. Don't think there's anything else I don't like...maybe that they died in Geto's body. I would've liked to see them change bodies at least once. Otherwise what's the point of having a bodysnatcher character if they're 99% of the time in the same body (in the story, obviously Kenjaku has swapped bodies many times before, but we barely see any of it).

favourite line

"Tengen, I'm not the same as you. I have *lived* through this thousand year tug-of-war between feuding giant! The capricious alliances of this world of curses!" (line is even better in Japanese, the English doesn't do it justice)

"Even if you have no hope for the present or the future, you can always choose to die whenever you want. You have to take a step forward first. One step closer to your ideal. I loathe people who die without even trying to take that step. Yes, I'm talking to you, Tengen."

brOTP

Uraume. I just love their dynamic so much. They manage to bring the most annoying side out of Kenjaku and Kenjaku is a master at making them lose their cool (literally lol). The bickering is fantastic, I wish we would've gotten more of it. Maybe in the Heian flashback. I like how they like to complain, but then more or less reluctantly help each other out. Like Kenjaku bothering to take Uraume to Sukuna in their fishmobile while still being beaten up from the fight against Yuki.

OTP

Tengen/Kenjaku (my absolute fave at the moment), Takaba/Kenjaku (most wholesome Kenjaku ship honestly) and the recent reveal has renewed my passion for Jin/Kenjaku. Need to know more about the cursed married couple. Mahito/Kenjaku is also great for the cannibalism and vore.

nOTP

SukuKen and GoKen

random headcanon

Not so random, but I think Kenjaku has gotten pregnant before, (almost) every time with not very satisfactory results. That's part of why they decided to take a step back for the Death Painting experiment.

unpopular opinion

Kenjaku isn't cis. Kenjaku isn't drooling over Sukuna's dick or being jealous because he "rejected" them or something. The backshots meme are such a beaten horse that it has gone beyond death and come back to life only to die a miserable death again and again.

song i associate with them

Róisin Murphy - Ramalama (Bang Bang) I think it captures Kenjaku's whimsical spirit fantastic, which contrasts with the kind of disturbing lyrics. I took the fanfic title Stitches Across The Eye from this song.

youtube

Miyamura Yuko's cover of Hirasawa Susumu's MOTHER Think the title makes the connection obvious. Could refer both to Kenjaku as a mother and their general perception of motherhood. The incorporation of dreams, connecting to the universe and passage of time make it especially fitting. The "oh mother" chorus is also especially haunting in this version.

youtube

favourite picture of them

Because I like seeing Kenjaku happy and the way this matches their expression when talking about the merger curse:

Love the way Kenjaku looks at Takaba even when they are losing their head and the shock and wonder when they realize they let themselves get to close

Gossipy sister-in-law

The way half-naked Kenjaku looks at sweating Tengen here...always makes my mind go places lol one of their best interactions

Could list a million more, Kenjaku's expressions are always gold, but I'll hold myself back

#asks #itadori yuuji #kenjaku

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sparkles-oflight · 8 months ago

Text

Bele Sanje - in another room

Hello everyone, I'm back to write again!

Remember my BoKris fanfic on Martin's departure? Well, this is a continuation of that, but it's JaRtin time! (with Jan&jure friendship as well!)

Thanks @anxious-witch for the proofreading (seriously, how do you still handle me?)!

Synopsis: The aftermath of Martin's departure on Jan and Jure.

Disclaimer: Please think of these as characters and not the actual people. I don’t encourage anyone to send this to any of the actual JO members nor do I encourage people to force any type of relationship between anyone.

Sensible subjects: anxiety, a LOT of guilt, some self-harming tendencies (nothing too strong or explicit, but... yeah)

"I decided to leave the band", that's what Martin said, and Jan heard it, but he didn't quite understand the message between Bojan's sobs and the noise inside his own brain.

In the past year, Jan had gotten even closer to Martin than he should. He thought he was just trying to find something to fill in his ex-girlfriend's spot for a while, but then he actually started liking Martin.

But now Martin is telling them he's leaving. Jan doesn't want Martin to leave.

- We arrived.

Jan looked to his side and saw Jure closing the car door.

Jure had taken them both to his apartment since Jan wasn't feeling well enough to return home on his own.

The guitarist slowly exited the car and made his way to Jure's home.

When they got inside, Jan took his shoes off and laid on Jure's sofa, turning on the TV, but not really paying attention to anything.

Not until Jure sat next to him with a cup of tea.

- Be careful, it's hot. - he patted Jan's knee.

- Thank you.

A moment went by until Jure broke the silence again.

- Do you want to talk about it?

- Talk about what? - Jan didn’t look away from the TV.

- Martin.

- I guess you are already talking about it.

Jure started anxiously tapping his fingers on his mug before proceeding.

- I know you and Martin have something special, I've seen it myself. I don't know what it is, but you need to sort it out. And hey, if you need help, you can count on me. - he smiled.

- Thanks, Muca. - Jan also smiled though his smile was filled with sadness - Me and Martin... Uh. Me and Martin were having sex.

- Oh.

An awkward silence filled the room. Jure then realized it and he was terrified of sounding like a homophobe so he just...

- Sex is good.

To which Jan chuckled - the first time he did that day.

- My girlfriend had left me, and Martin was a bit curious about gay sex, and uh...labels so, uh... Yeah, that's how it happened. We decided to help each other out.

- So... Is he? You know... – he was about to gesture with his hand, but he was stopped by Jan.

- Oh god, not you too. - he sighed and then smiled - Martin is not gay. I know that much. And that makes me feel so guilty...

Jan started biting off the polish out of his nails.

- I feel like we only keep having sex because he's too scared of hurting my feelings...

- What does that mean?

- Jure... I've fallen for Martin.

Well, Jure had figured Jan wasn't straight a long time ago, but he wasn't expecting Jan to be in some sort of one-sided relationship with Martin.

- It hurts so much. - Jan finally lost it.

He started crying and Jure immediately hugged him.

- Why am I so shitty? – he cried – I used him, Jure, I used him!

- Jan... calm down.

- How can I be calm!? I know he doesn’t love me back and I still keep it going, even though I know that it isn’t the best for him.

He pushed Jure off him and started hitting his thighs and scratching his arms.

- I’m so fucking selfish! He is leaving because of me, Jure! He is!

Jan found breathing hard due to his tears and snot.

- Why would he make this decision and not tell me? Not tell Bojan!? WHY!?

Jan stopped as he reached a point of exhaustion. He curled up in a little ball and covered his ears as he felt the tears’ salty taste in his mouth. If he could, he would have been there for the rest of his days. He didn’t want to see Martin go, he didn’t want to see anyone take his place.

Jan was scared. Scared of a new member, scared of the band falling apart, but worst of all, he was scared of himself. Was he always going to act like this? Use people for his own satisfaction? How would he stop himself from doing that?

- Hey.

Jan opened his eyes and saw Jure crouched next to him and softly removing the guitarist’s hands to hold them.

- Jan, I don’t know everything that went down between you two, and I don’t know why Martin never told you. I’ve never been in a situation like this, but... – Jure stopped for a bit before continuing – I think you can only get those answers if you talk to him.

Jan looked at Jure’s eyes and he could swear he got lost in them because... Jure was crying. Jan had never seen Jure cry and he doesn’t know how to react to that.

- I think... – he sniffed – I think you don’t have to talk to him right now, but...

Jure will miss Martin, just as much as anyone else. Jure entered the band and immediately felt at home... Jure might be chaotic, and sometimes isolated, but he too had a bunch of complicated feelings over the situation that he couldn’t express.

- I’m sorry, I’m crying on you. – he apologized.

Jan got up and held Jure in his arms, calming him by softly petting his blonde hair and letting the older one cry there.

- Muca. – he whispered – Can I ask you for a favor?

- Sure.

- Can you take me to Martin’s house? Bojan should still be at the studio with Kris, I want to talk to him alone.

- Yes, of course.

Jure picked some napkins from the kitchen to clean themselves up and drove them to Martin and Bojan’s apartment.

- You don’t want me to stay? – the drummer asked Jan as he closed and exited the car.

- No, I’ll be okay, thank you, Muca.

- No worries. – he winked.

Jure saw Jan make his way to the apartment and then saw on his phone how late it was... He called Kris.

- Yes?

- Hi, Kris, are you home?

- Yeah, just got home.

- Are you alone?

- Bojan’s spending the night here tonight. Do you need anything?

“So Martin and Jan are alone then... good”.

- I was wondering about how he was feeling.

- He’s a bit better now. You?

- Oh, I feel like shit.

- Do you want to talk about it?

Jure decided to vent with Kris about his feelings about Martin leaving, but he never mentioned Jan once. Kris also tried to not push that topic either, he didn’t feel ready to hear about his best friend's feelings at the moment.

Jan rang up Martin’s bell.

- Who is it? – Martin asked.

- It’s... – he sniffed – It’s me, Martin.

Martin opened the building’s door and Jan made his way to his floor.

When he entered, he saw the pair of slippers he always worn ready for him at the entrance. He changed from his shoes to them and closed the door.

- Hi. – Martin said.

Jan looked at the tall man who was already wearing pajamas.

- Hi. – Jan forced himself to speak.

Both didn’t know what to do, but Martin gestured for the older one to enter and sit down. They both sat but neither said a word because neither was ready for what was coming.

- Bojan is not coming tonight.

- Oh, is he sleeping at the studio?

- I think he is sleeping at Kris’.

- Ah.

- You know... I was talking to a friend of mine, he’s also a bassist, and I swear he’s the best bassist I’ve ever met in the country. I think... If you are looking for someone new, you should take him in.

- Uhm.

- I’ll let you choose of course. Now that I’m leaving, I feel like I shouldn’t have a say on the band, but could you please promise me you guys will at least hear him out?

- Uhm.

- Jan, please give me a proper answer.

Jan sighed and looked up.

- Sorry, Martin, if I’m not excited about a new band member when I only found out about you leaving a couple of hours ago.

Martin got close to Jan and touched his hand.

- Hey, Jan-

But Jan slapped his hand and got up.

- Stop it! Martin, just fucking stop it! I know you know I love you. But we both know you don’t love me back. And you know what? Fair! I’m a shitty person who’s been using you and you... Martin, you are a gentleman, but for fuck’s sake, set boundaries with me for once!

Martin sighed, took his glasses off, and massaged his forehead.

- Jan, I’m sorry I didn’t tell anyone. I just... – he gulped – I thought it was easier to tell everyone at the same time. I didn’t want... I didn’t want to let some of you guys know before the others. And Jan…

Jan looked at him and slowly he sat down again.

- And I thought... the quicker we get this done with, the faster we will all move on. Ahead, Jan. Always ahead.

- Why don’t you let me go? - Jan mumbled.

Martin didn’t know how to reply.

- Why don’t you let me let you go? - Jan reformulated the question.

- I just… I didn’t want to hurt you...

- Martin… I love you.

Martin sighed and felt a lump form in his throat as he noticed this wasn’t about the band anymore.

- Jan…

- Martin, I feel like I’m using you.

- Jan, you are not using me. I just didn’t have the courage to tell you I didn’t want to do this anymore. - he sighed - I was scared of the band given how well things were going and… I didn’t want you to think you were the problem when in reality… I just… I’m not into guys, Jan, I’m sorry.

Jan stared at him, and he felt tears forming in his eyes, so Martin hugged him until... until Jan calmed down.

“It’s not your fault.”, Jan swore Martin whispered that into his ear, but he couldn’t be sure because of his fast heartbeat.

Martin kissed Jan’s ear and released him.

- Do you want to spend the night here? – Martin asked, then smiled - As friends.

- Of course. – and Jan smiled back.

♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩

Polaroid Photos Universe | Recommended next: Tea Spilling

#joker out #joker out fanfic #joker out jan #joker out martin #jan peteh #martin jurkovič #jartin #hypster ljubljana girls

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miabebe · 4 months ago

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Friend! I am caught up once again. Let me tell you, I needed chapter 8. I had watched a really sad documentary before bed, and, honestly, I just needed a little joy, so I read I Am What I Am (I suppose maybe that's not the number one story to derive joy from, but you wrote it, so I'm guaranteed to <3).

NGL, I have no idea who Jihoon is irl (assuming he's based on a real person), but he sucks here lol. What an asshat. Na bi clearly doesn't need an enforcer because she knows how to handle her shit, but I was still trying to insert myself into the moment so I could make that bro cry.

The moment betweeen Na bi and Kyun in the basement was bittersweet. I mean, it was def a little hot, too, but as much as I enjoyed that, his story was THE WORST. I must tell you my favorite part because it's something that writers never seem to do in any medium in moments like these, and it always chaps my ass so badly--the hug. Irl, in these kinds of moments with people, after they purge themselves of such hurt, I HAVE to offer a hug. That human connection is so critical, and I DESPISE when so many stories don't offer it. I know it doesn't fit every character or relationship every time, but I am a *firm* believer that a well-timed hug fixes just about everything, so thank you for putting it there. If you hadn't, again, I would have inserted myself and done so. :-P

Na bi reached for the phone Mingyu had given her, safely slipping it into her pocket, muttering a thanks.

Woman! THROW IT IN THE TRASH THIS INSTANT. >.> SUSPICIOUS PHONE IS STILL SUSPICIOUS.

Now for the cleansing part of this chapter. Sisters. <3 I've already screamed at you separately about my Hendery, but idc I'm going to scream again. THANK YOU FOR PUTTING HIM HERE FOR ME. It was the surprise of all surprises, and my Grinch heart was overinflated ten sizes. It really shook me out of my docuseries funk. <3 <3 <3

But I loved the sisters' reconnection, understanding, and revelations. It was a mature moment that was open and honest and could have gone many ways, but the way you took it was my favorite.

And then realizing who brought them back together was so lovely and soft, but I really loved the most how it just galvanized Na bi's feelings.

“It wasn’t an offer. I wasn’t asking.”

GO ON, GIRL. Man, was I cheering from my bed. I love this energy. It's always reserved in fics for the male characters, but a boss woman is my favorite kind. Always makes my head a lil swimmy.

Side note: so cute how Bit na never had a formal wedding because she couldn't have her sister there. :') My heart!

Love that she took care of her own problem at the club, but also, I'm always a sucker for a jealous man, especially when he's pretending to keep his distance (and his heart) safe. UGH, what a vibe.

"My woman"

(*＿∇＿)

But then OOF the implications at the end!

I will confess that this is a reference no one will really get since it's related, I have to share. Back when I was in high school, I used to watch this soap opera every day after school. I'd watched it for years (it was one of my mother's favorites), but I wasn't really *invested* in it per se until they created this story that literally became the reason I started writing fanfic waaaay back in the late 90s.

It had never really been done on a soap at the time, but summed up, this young, accomplished woman with her whole future ahead of her gets embroiled with this mafioso. Through a series of events, he has to marry her to save her from his vindictive mother because "you don't kill family." She resents him and keeps looking for a way out, but he's fallen in love, and by the time her feelings have caught up with him, she's betrayed him thinking it was her only way out of something she never thought she wanted. The fallout from that, for me, was the finest acting/writing anyone had ever done on that soap in my time watching, and to this day, I go back once a year and rewatch their story arc because it was something so special. I've honestly thought a half-dozen times about adapting their story for MX, but you've really captured a lot of what hooked me from their story in your story. I feel both nostalgic and enamored every time I read this piece.

In short: you're killing it, babe. <3

You read chapter 8 omg ❤️🫂

I'm not sure how I Am What I Am gave you joy hahaha this was a particular hard chapter moreover but I'm glad it helped you 💕

Jihoon omg hahaha is Seventeen's genius producer and vocalist Woozi 😂 did I make him too much of a prick? Well he'll have his character arc hahaha

Oh yeah Kyun had to have a painful past, what's a good villain without a tragic story right? 🥲 and though the whole scene started off with sexy time, that kind of story deserved a hug, it's important to have someone to hold you right?

Hahahhaa I'm glad you loved Hendery's cameo, I loved writing him ❤️ The sisters reuniting was so important to me because the plot is heavily based on familial love, in a way its what drives Kyun and Na bi towards each other emotionally, the fact that family is their first love?

I find it so morally conflicting to write about falling in love with a bad man cause I'm not the 'I love bad boys' kinda person so god knows why I chose to do 6 mafia series 😭 but that was why Changkyun being the one who found Bit Na was important - while Na bi seemingly needed someone to share the weight of what plagued her, Changkyun eradicated it completely, that's a win for him in my book ahahha

Na bi has always been a strong character, she's good at looking after herself but I just needed a splash of that protective male energy for both her and my sake ahahaha 🤭

The ending though, that's gotten me screamed at hahaha I'm sorry to throw that in the last minute when things were finally going somewhere but what's a good chapter without a cliffhanger eh?

Ooooh what is this show, that sounds so interesting! I can see the parallels with Changkyun's story, I love that you feel nostalgic reading it, that's so heart-warming ❤️

Thank you my love, you know you're a big reason this series continues to be in the works, I know I wouldn't have done it without you 🫂💕

#well the phones continue to be suspected i see ahahah #Bit na couldn’t have possibly gone through the wedding without her one and only bridesmaid but its okay #we'll hold a wedding for them soon hehe #actually wont be so soon but eh #also the “my woman”#gosh when men who dont even claim you say that???#*faints*#biffhofosho #favs #i am what i am #changkyun

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zuzsenpai · 4 months ago

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YOU might write fanfiction for fun. I, however, use writing specifically to beat as much dopamine based stuffing out of the vaguely teddy bear shaped object thatbis my brain. then i burn out when I dont get the reaction i was hoping for instantly!

;~;

Post this is referring to

I know this ask is lighthearted so this isn't directed at you specifically. But I do want to use this opportunity to point out to anyone who sees this that it's okay to use fanfiction writing as an emotional challenge for your brain! But if you're burning out from fanfiction because you don't get comments, please try to remember the original point of my message-- that fanfiction should be fun. If you're not enjoying writing fanfiction because you don't get validation, it's helpful to re-evaluate and figure out what will make you happy.

I know that's easier said than done, and in the past (and currently) I have fallen deeply into that pit, wishing people would comment on my fics and thinking I should stop writing because no one cares about it. For the past 6 or so months, I've been trying to re-structure that part of my brain. I decided to write an ongoing fanfic that I'm not publishing anywhere-- something just for me. It's been tempting to publish it, since I totally understand that part of enjoying fanfiction is being able to share it with other people. But this exercise has helped me realize that when I write fanfiction, I'm writing something I want to read myself. I'm filling a niche that doesn't exist for me specifically. Whether or not other people enjoy what I write is less important, because I like writing MY thing. That's part of the beauty of fanfiction specifically: you get to take the characters and settings you already love and turn it into something to supplement the enjoyment you already get out of that piece of fiction or fandom.

I'm not telling anyone how to enjoy themselves or what they should get out of fanfiction writing... but I do hope getting fun out of writing fanfiction is a goal more people can strive for.

Also as a side note because I know there were a lot of people making addendums to my original post-- this post and my original post are about fanfiction specifically, and NOT writing in general/writing professionally.

#fanfiction #fanfiction writing #fanfics #ao3

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oflights · 1 year ago

Text

20 questions for fic writers

thanks for the tag, @teledild0nix; your post was great! also @phoebe-delia tagged me on this post a bit ago; i loved reading these so much! at this point, i'm not sure who has or hasn't done this yet, so i'm tagging anyone who sees this and wants to try it!

How many works do you have on ao3?

54 across 3 fandoms!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

1,382,065 😵‍💫

3. What fandoms do you write for?

right now it's just drarry; i have also written for hockey RPF and before that, The Social Network, but a lot of that fic is locked on livejournal. before TSN i wrote drarry 😬 which is also locked lol i'm sorry

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. up the arbor to your door (and more) - Hockey RPF (2,889) 2. all the western stars - Drarry (2,819) 3. Bloom - Hockey RPF (2,759) 4. Brand New Colony - Hockey RPF (2,558) 5. Morning to Wake You - Hockey RPF (2,056) my sid/geno hockey RPF era from 2012-2014 was pretty consistent! i do think all the western stars is about to overtake the top spot though, which is insane when you realize those fics are 9 years vs. barely 18 months old 😧

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!! i make every effort to, though sometimes i get overwhelmed (i've fallen off a bit with The Star Splitter and it makes me super guilty!!! i need more hours in the day lol)

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i am a happy ending aficionado!! i guess if you ignore the fix-it epilogue, the answer is we hid in catacombs, which is probably the best sid/geno fic i wrote. it was a breakup fic, of course, i remain obsessed with those!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i really cannot think of any standout happy ending hockey fics so for this one i will say along each garden wall. sugary sweet ending after what was a genuinely sad narrative; i think i took to heart the people who were like "Close Behind was so angsty we needed more happiness to wash it down!!" and while i felt like that didn't really fit Close Behind, it worked for this one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

ha. yes! people were Not Happy about Close Behind. someone told me that i should tag it as the main pairing being Draco/Astoria and add an Ambiguous/Open Ending tag, which was very interesting and wrong. some comments i get are just odd, though. like someone got mad at me in The Star Splitter comments for naming a stuffed dragon Orion, who i guess was Sirius' abusive (?) dad?? i had no canon memory of that (and why would Draco care about that???). another person just objected to the entire premise of the fic, which i suppose is fair play if the premise of the fic is an actual philosophical argument, but yeah. it takes all sorts!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do! i like writing smut! happily, yes smut! i don't go too deep into it in every fic, though, and with drarry i've often let myself get more into plot than figuring out the best smut places. i'm in a spot mentally where i really want the smut to contribute to the plot in a significant way, which i think is a result of taking a two year fanfic break and reading nothing but literary/historical fiction in those years? idk i need to write more, it's a total shift from when i wrote hockey.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

yeah, no, not for me!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i've had some plagiarism incidents, and i guess i ask for this as a serial fic deleter, but some of my fics are on wattpad and i'd prefer they weren't lol.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! a good few.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

lol i cannot answer this question truthfully. my all-time favorite ship is just whatever i'm hyperfixated on at the moment! drarry is probably a contender just because i circled back to it after years away. (am i in a getting back together fic with drarry??)

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i finish all my wips 🙂 honestly this is not a flex, i am terrible at abandoning projects and my brain will not let me off the hook ever.

16. What are your writing strengths?

hmm. i think characters, especially large casts of characters! i love to write big ensembles and flesh out characters even in big or small roles, plus their relationships with each other. i also think that i'm much better at giving my worlds/stories a sort of aesthetic now, if that's a writing talent? this is def a new thing to drarry for me, since i took that long fanfic break and wrote/read a bunch of original stuff.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i work at it, but i still don't know that i'm the best at describing things. i'm better at describing settings than people, that's for sure. i get bored with endless descriptions of someone's eye color and i find myself needing to justify character description with narrative relevance, which is silly.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i'm a big proponent of '"[English words]," he says in French.' Or like, 'He says something in French', if the POV character wouldn't understand it. i feel like it's less immersion-breaking and more fluid. i write in several languages but wouldn't expect readers to, and i normally write such a close third person perspective that i don't necessarily want the readers to have a translation of a phrase that the POV character wouldn't have, you know?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i think officially it was veronica mars?

20. Favorite fic you've written?

i'll do one for each AO3 fandom! for TSN, it was Mulligan. for Hockey RPF, Contrapositive. and for Drarry, no surprise, Close Behind.

#oflights #tag game #fic writing #this was fun!!

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