#But it's getting a little hard to balance everything even though not a lot is going on
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genericpuff · 2 days ago
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Hello! I'm someone with autism (and I'm suspecting ADHD too) who's planning multiple projects. Do you have any advice when it comes to overthinking a lot about decisions on a project? Be it the first step, planning, questioning if you're moving too fast, etc?
ouuuu I think the biggest thing I struggle with personally is just like... the overbearing weight of expectation that isn't necessarily even there. Like, expectation to do everything right all the time, to never make mistakes, to never fall through on promises, to never break any 'rules' (real or imaginary) and most of all, for everything I do to matter in some big, recognizable, memorable way - but the steps to that goal aren't defined, I just know what the goal looks like, with no clear path as to how to get there, and so it often results in me aiming at my own "best guess" and then beating myself up for not hitting the target LOL which is completely unfair to myself and my own work!
What I try to regularly remind myself of is that I am one person, who is only capable of what one person should reasonably be able to accomplish on their own, no matter how much my auDHD tries to convince me otherwise that I "should" be able to handle more than what's reasonable. And in that same sense, there isn't any more pressure on me to put out something perfect than there would be on any other person. I am not Atlas carrying the fate of the greatest work known to mankind on my shoulders - I'm a chronically online dweeb making stuff that's interesting to themselves and sharing it in the hopes that even just one other person will like it too. That isn't a diss on myself, that's me embracing what I am so that I can keep doing it better and more confidently each time.
Though I don't know if this exactly applies to you, I'm gonna say it just in case: I know when it comes to balancing multiple projects, it can be hard not to go "oh well I SHOULD be working on xyz!" but at the end of the day, you're not a failure for preferring to work on something else or needing space from projects that used to thrill you and have now become monotonous. In fact, it turns out that's how it is for most neurotypical people too! I know they make a lot of shit look easy, but even they have shit they loathe doing - they just don't have to deal with the unique hurdles of being neurodivergent.
Always remember to set boundaries with yourself and your work. Remember, just because you're really excited to work on something, doesn't mean you have to work on it all the time. I've learned to appreciate those moments when I'm stuck doing my day job and I'm excited to get home and work on my passion project, because it means I can actually look forward to it and it'll feel all the more rewarding when I finally get to do it! Pushing yourself too hard to fulfill that excitement all at once right off the bat often just means you're gonna spend it all way too quick, and that won't feel good because then you'll be left wondering where all the love went.
Set little goals for yourself. Stuff that's manageable and achievable within a reasonable amount of time. I know we tend to dive into thinking huge right off the bat, because that's what's exciting to us, but when it comes time to actually do the work, those smaller goals can keep us moving forward far better than the big, far off, ambiguous goal hiding somewhere off in the horizon. While it's good to plan ahead, not setting smaller milestones for yourself can burn you out faster because it's really hard to work towards an "end goal" that might be too far away for us to even conceptualize. The small goals allow us to reward ourselves along the way, and they do ultimately still build up to the bigger picture in the end, even if it feels like we're "not doing much". It can be anything like "get to this chapter that I can finish in the next few weeks" or "fully write out this scene that's been living in my head rent-free".
As for the overthinking... yeah, I wish I had some magic solution to that, but it's really just about learning what you enjoy doing vs. what you don't, so that you can have confidence in knowing when your creative decisions suit the project you're working on. This is something that gets better with practice and experience, but I feel like it's better tackled by reminding yourself that any project, no matter the outcome of how popular it gets or whether or not it "takes off", is an opportunity to learn and grow. Treat every project as a learning experience and you'll hopefully find the process itself more enjoyable, which will subsequently buff up your confidence. It's all a process of honing in on what works for you, what you excel at, and what you enjoy doing; while learning what doesn't work for you, what you could improve at, and what you don't enjoy doing.
Finding a writing buddy or someone who's willing to read your work and give you feedback is super helpful for this, too, because sometimes it takes another perspective to help us navigate the fog of indecision and find a solution.
And again, remember - you are one person, and you are under no obligation for any of your projects to be some perfect, infallible holy grail. You will write stuff that you will inevitably look back on with disgust and cringe. You will create projects that you will eventually outgrow or move on from. That does not invalidate the time and effort you put into those projects - it's proof of experience and growth. Embrace the growing pains, find peace in the process in whatever way you can.
It's not a question of right or wrong - it's asking yourself what feels true to you and your voice, and finding out along the way.
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cream-and-tea · 3 months ago
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oh pallas and agnes power dynamic you really are SO unbelievably fucked,,,,,
#haven’t been able to write in days so i am posting instead. forgive me.#it’s just so. like. okay pallas has all of the material power here that’s not a question they’ve got much stronger magic they#know how the library works they’re directly placed in a mentorship role at the beginning re agnes she depends on them#for everything.#but also#pallas is very much Not Doing Well mentally (<- understatement of the century) and is pathologically incapable of processing their own#emotions related to this AT ALL. and in the process of trying very very hard to get to Know pallas (so pallas will Like her so pallas will#want to keep her alive) agnes kind of comes to understand a lot of pallas’s issues even better than pallas does and pallas starts to depend#on her for emotional support in a way they NEVER have with anyone else.#and pallas’s ability to show vulnerability has been soooo wrecked beyond belief that to them doing things like sharing part#of their backstory and being visibily hurt around someone is tantamount to placing a knife in someone’s hand and#then circling all of their weak points with a giant red marker while going ‘HEY STAB HERE’#so in their mind by doing this they’re giving agnes an IMMENSE amount of power over them like enough to kill them dead even though very#little else has changed about their dynamic. so pallas believes that they’re standing on much more equal ground then they really are#and agnes partly believes it too she thinks that by seeing this much of how broken down pallas is she’s finally found the balance in their#relationship she’s finally found a way to make it stable. and yeah. to some extent this is true!#pallas DOES listen to agnes more than any other person agnes IS the first person in years to understand them this much pallas’s dependence#on her for their mental wellbeing DOES give her some measure of power over them. but that power is given out on pallas’s terms is the thing#whether they’re aware of that or not. agnes wouldn’t have anything if pallas didn’t actively choose to be vulnerable with her there’d be#no way she’d learn about anything no way she’d get to play this role in their life#they believe that this thing is much more equal much more sustainable than it really is (pallas especially) and they’re#literally all each other have#grabs your face are you listening THEYRE ALL EACH OTHER HAVE IN THIS PLACE THEYRE BOTH IN SUCH HORRIFIC SITUATIONS AND THEY R EATING#EACHOTGER TO SURVIVE!!!!#head in fucking hands#wip: ghost story#pallas and agnes
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thedailyvio · 9 days ago
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New Year, new update
This makes 7 years completed? And onto 8
Goals for '25?
I think I'd like to build my mental library more and Finally study something for once
Probably would like to work on my technique a bit more so I can be more comfortable drawing too? I kind of always need to refine something with 3+ passes to feel comfortable with it, but I'd like to get to a place where I can draw a bit more simply for not-grand pieces at least
A lot of things are up in the air right now for how much I'm going to be able to commit to art this year, so I can't predict what I'll have space for
However, I think while I'm going to stick to weekly posting for now (this will only change if I move back to desktop art more predominantly and I don't foresee this for awhile) I do want to try and post on the last day of each month also To better keep each everything in its proper month at least
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producedbysohyun · 9 days ago
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A Not So Secret Secret pt.2
Kang Dae-ho x pregnant! Reader
Summary: Still trapped in the games, you depend on Dae-ho for comfort and protection as you face the games, sickness, and constant fear.
Warnings: Reader is replacing number 222 but has no correlation with 333, Reader is pregnant, mentions of killing and stuff like that, might be slightly inaccurate, Not proofread.
wc: 3.2k
a/n: This took along time please enjoy!!
Pt.1 masterlist
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You wake up. Now your third day of being in the squid games.
As the speaker goes off telling everyone that its morning time you sit up, groaning softly as your neck is aching from using Dae-ho's arm as a pillow the whole night. Your group around you wakes up as well, everyone looking dazed as they still find it hard to process the situation they are in.
Everyone in the game lines up and gets their breakfast, a piece of bread and some milk.
"what kind of breakfast is this" you think to yourself, your hunger really getting to you.
Despite the disappointment of bread for breakfast, you go and sit where your group would usually sit, waiting for everyone in the group to join as well.
You sit there, mindlessly eating your bread until Dae-ho comes and sits next to you.
"Hi baby how are you feeling?' he asks, giving you a small smile.
You just pout. "hungry.."
He frowns before giving you his bread.
"Nooo its fine..." You try to protest, knowing its not gonna get you anywhere.
He smiles "We've been through this already, I'm fine" He reassures you.
You frown and take the bread. You feel so useless, just eating peoples food even though it was offered to you.
"ahh.. actually it's fine really.. you need to eat..." you say as you hand the food back to him, your thoughts getting the best of you.
He looks at you softly before trying to negotiate. "How about we split it? You know what you have right now is not enough for you at all.."
You give in, to hungry to say no, "ok.." You smile as he gives you half his bread, though your piece is much bigger than his.
By now the rest of the group has joined you guys and all of you are just talking about whatever comes to mind, The next game, escaping, the fight that might take place tonight, and stuff like that.
Suddenly, the room starts spinning, and a wave of nausea hits you. You feel your head spin, and before you can react, you quickly push yourself up and speed-walk to the bathroom, trying to keep your balance. Dae-ho calls your name, but you don’t respond, too focused on getting to the bathroom. Once inside, you rush into a stall and throw up everything you just ate. Afterward, you sit on the cold bathroom floor, your back against the stall, too weak to move. The nausea lingers, and you just close your eyes, wishing for it to pass.
"it must just be morning sickness.." you thought to yourself.
Even though you've only experienced it a few times, the games seem to be making it lot worse, most likely due to the amount of stress you're under.
You must've been in there for awhile as the voice on the speaker sounds once again. "please follow the guards to your next game."
You quickly get up, flushing the toilet and running out of the bathroom back over to your group.
Dae-ho looks panicked before he spots you. "Are you ok???" he asks worriedly.
You nod, panting from running so fast. "I just felt a little sick that's all."
The group exchanges worried glances, their faces filled with concern, though there isn't much they can do.
You step into the colorful room with stairs and begin to climb, but each step feels heavier. You struggle a bit, the stairs feeling like a mountain to your exhausted and sick body, and they only get harder as you go. Halfway up, you lose your footing and stumble, nearly falling backward.
Luckily for you Dae-ho was right behind you and quickly put his hands on your waist, steadying you.
"are you ok??" he asks, worry in this voice. "Do you need me to carry you?"
"N-no I got it.. I'm alright.." You regain your balance and continue walking up the stairs.
Dae-ho stays close behind you on high alert just incase you stumble again.
As you guys get to the next game you take in your surroundings. The room has a red circle platform with horses in the middle. A multitude of colorful doors are placed on the walls of the room and the ceiling is almost like one of a carnival tent with white and red stripes on it.
"this game is called mingle." The speaker says.
"Ohh.. we used to play something like this when I was younger, but you would have to get in groups by hugging" Jung-bae says to the group.
You feel a bit more relieved as he says that. At least someone knows what they are doing.
The speaker goes off a again. "all players will stand on the platform and as it spins. When the music stops a random number will be called out. You will have to form groups of that number and go into one of the rooms before the timer is up or you will be eliminated."
After the announcement your group immediately starts talking about what to do.
Dae-ho turns to you. "No matter what just stay with me.. ok?"
You nod, not even wanting to think about the two of you getting separated in a place like this.
Your group manages to get somewhat of a plan before the game starts, the platform starting to spin as some children's song plays.
You tightly grip onto Dae-ho's hand, wanting to insure you guys won't be separated and as you do so the platform abruptly stops.
"ten" the speaker says as a 30 second timer shows up.
Your group of five desperately searches for another group of five but only finds one of four. Suddenly, number 120, a member of the group of four runs off and grabs a random girl.
"we have ten now! Go to room 44! The green door!" she calls out.
All ten of you quickly run into the room, the doors locking soon behind you. Your hand never leaving Dae-ho's.
The ten of you all breathe heavily as the sound of gun shots and people begging for their lives are heard outside of the room.
You lean back against the wall, exhausted and scared. Your hands are shaking like crazy and it catches Dae-ho's attention. His thumb gently caresses the back of your hand, trying to comfort you the best he can in the moment. Then, the random lady starts yelling.
“You’re alive because of me!” She exclaims before turning to Gi-hun, giving him a creepy look. “It seems there’s a reason you’ve survived longer than you were supposed to.” She says as she smirks.
The lady then turns to you and just stares at you creepily for a bit, Dae-ho keeping a close eye on her to make sure she doesn’t try anything.
Then, to your luck, doors unlock and all of you walk out. You cringe as you step in a pile of blood on the floor, but at this point you're pretty used to it.
Everyone gets back on the platform and then, it starts to spin, the song ringing loudly in your ears. Your heart feels like it's gonna beat out of your chest but you try to focus on the game as best as you can.
The platform stops once again. "four" the speaker says.
You all look at each other. There are five of you. You need four.
Gi-hun speaks up, not afraid to sacrifice himself. "you four go-"
"No, go ahead guys." Young-il cuts him off, already walking away, not giving any room for protest.
Gi-hun just stands there before getting dragged away by Jung-bae.
"we have no choice come on!" Jung-bae exclaims to all of you.
You all quickly run into a greyish purplish room. But Gi-hun hesitate to close the door as he's looking for Young-il.
The timer starts to get it it's last seconds before Gi-hun finally closes the door.
More gunshots are heard outside but you don't care at this point, You're just grateful you're alive.
The door soon unlock and everyone repeats the same process.
The platform starts to spin and you stumble a bit. Dae-ho quickly stables you, still holding onto your hand.
you squeeze his hand tighter as the platform stops.
"three" The speaker says.
"you three go- me and Young-il will find one more person!" Gi-hun says urgently.
You, Dae-ho, and Jung-bae waste no time running into one of the empty rooms.
Suddenly a random guy runs into your guys' room and you being the only girl and the weakest, he grabs you and try's to drag you out.
Dae-ho and Jung-bae both react at the same time. Dae-ho gently pushes you behind him as Him and Jung-bae shove the guy out of the room.
You breathe heavily, trying to figure out what just happened before Dae-ho turns around and bends down to your level.
"are you ok?" He asks, eyeing you everywhere for any sort of injury.
You just nod breathlessly and lean against him, putting your head against his chest as the door locks. He gently puts his arms around you, kissing your head softly.
"thank you guys" you say to the two boys with as much gratefulness as possible.
"of course" Jung-bae nods as he breathes heavily.
The doors soon unlock and Dae-ho lets go of you, taking your hand again as the three of you walk out of the room and reunite with the rest of your group.
You all look at each other relieved everyone survived before getting on the platform for what felt like the tenth time.
The song began once again as the platform spun slowly.
"Six" the speaker called out as the spinning stopped.
Your group turns to the group of four that went with a few games ago. You can't exactly tell what they are saying as everyone is yelling. They agree on something and you feel Dae-ho start running somewhere with you and the group of four following behind. He opens a door but the room already has people in it. The people in the room slammed the door shut before the same player from a few games ago, 120, started yelling. "Over here! This room is empty! hurry!"
All five of you started running towards the door and you all got inside on time except number 095 had fallen. 120 tried to go and save her but was shoved back in by some guy and before she could do anything, the doors shut and locked.
You had no idea what was happening all you saw was the young girls eyes from the rectangle hole in the door.
"unnie..." She said, fear in her voice.
"young-mi!" Player 120 exclaimed as she ran to the door, trying her absolute hardest to open it, but there was nothing she could do, the young girl had been shot.
Player 120 immediately went over to player 333, the guy who had stopped her from saving Young-mi, and started yelling at him.
Player 333 snapped back. "If you would've saved her you would all be dead right now! I'm the reason all of you are alive! Am I wrong?!"
You hesitantly spoke up. "He's right..."
Dae-ho soon followed after you, also agreeing.
Player 120 just stayed quiet as the door unlocked and everyone sorrowfully walked out of the room.
You all got back on the platform and Jung-bae turned to Gi-hun.
"what do you think it will be this time?" Jung-bae asked.
"two" Young-il asnwered.
Everyone in the group looked at him with worry. "why?" Jung-bae questioned.
"There are 126 people left, and there are 50 rooms. The rest will be killed." Young-il answered as the platform abruptly stopped again.
"two" the speaker called out.
You had no time to think before Dae-ho grabbed your hand and started running with you to a room.
While you were running some guy without a teammate shoved you and you fell to the floor, your arm going right into your stomach.
Dae-ho reacted quickly, immediately grabbing the guy and punching him before shoving him to give himself some more time to grab you.
You feel yourself being quickly lifted up off the floor and being carried into a room.
Dae-ho sets you down on the floor, the door locking as he looks you over frantically. "baby?? are you ok???"
All you can do is whimper, you had hit your head pretty hard when you fell and your arm had also went right into your stomach.
"Can you talk to me??" He grabs your face softly and makes you look at him.
"my head hurts" you say quietly.
Dae-hos face lights up, happy you can atleast talk, but he still looks very concerned. "yeah? Did you hit it?" he asks with worry in his voice.
You nod as the doors unlock.
He looks at the door before look back at you "can you walk?'
You nod, knowing its probably a lie but you get up nonetheless, slightly stumbling.
Dae-ho puts an arm around your waist. "lean on me baby.." He orders sofly.
You do just that, depending on him to hold you up as the both of you walk out of the door and reunite with your group.
Gi-hun sees the state you're in and looks visibly worried. "are you ok y/n?"
You nod, too out of it to speak.
Gi-hun, not believing you looks at Dae-ho, hoping he'll provide an answer.
Dae-ho just gives him an unsure look and shrugs as they walk out of the game room.
Dae-ho carefully helps you navigate your way down the stairs. "are you sure you don't want me to carry you?"
You nod, not wanting to be a burden on him. "I'm alright Dae.."
He sighs and nods as the two of you make your way down the stairs into the main area.
Your group sat in their usual area while you got some rest. They discussed the vote that would be taking place soon and how they only need seven players to change from O to X to be able to go home.
As the voice form the speaker calls out that the vote is starting, Dae-ho goes over to the sleeping area and softly wakes you up.
You groan softly "Do I have to..."
Dae-ho looks at you softly "yes.. we are voting now.."
You whine and sit up, on the verge of tears as you just want to sleep and go home.
Dae-ho sees this and frowns. "I know baby I'm sorry.." He says as he helps you up.
*time skip to vote*
You all have finished voting and it was 49 X and O 50. There was one person left to vote. Young-il. But he looked very suspicious. You crossed your fingers as Dae-ho put his head in your shoulder, not being able to watch.
*beep*
The buzzer went off and Young-il had voted for X. It was a tie. Everyone from your group sighed in relief. The guard's announced that since it was a tie there would be another vote tomorrow.
A bit after the vote everyone lined up for dinner. Your group sat back in their spot and you just sat in bed and ate. Dae-ho decided to give you some space as your mood wasn't good and he didn't wanna bother you.
As you ate in your bed you could here people yelling and you see Dae-ho in the middle of it. Confused you stand up and try to go over to him but the old lady grabs your wrist, stopping you.
"Please don't get involved..." She says softly.
You sigh and just sit next to her. "what are they fighting over.."
"We were trying to get some of the people that voted for O to vote for X but they just got offended.." She explains.
You just sigh and realize you've eaten all your kimbap.
"Did you eat enough?" The old lady asks softly.
You smile at her. "ya.. this was probably one of the most filling meals since we've got here.."
You and her have a small conversation before Dae-ho comes back over, looking pretty pissed.
"what happened?" you ask him.
He looks at you, his expression softening. "It's nothing baby don't worry about it." he said, not wanting to stress you out anymore.
As your group sat there and talked you ended up falling asleep, using Dae-ho's shoulder as a pillow while he had his arm around your waist, his hand resting on your lap.
You woke up to the sound of the speaker saying players had been eliminated. Confused, you looked at the group. "what happened?"
Gi-hun looked at you and replied. "there must've been a fight."
And he was right. The people on O team soon started saying that X tried to fight them first and the people on the X team saying that O tried to fight them first.
You cuddle closer to Dae-ho, not liking the situation you're in currently. He rubs your side softly as he watches the commotion that is currently going on. While everything is happening, Gi-hun takes the opportunity to tell everyone there is gonna be a fight tonight as how they are all gonna hide until its over and stuff.
You, on the other hand are freaking out, scared for your life, and your baby's. You cuddle into Dae-ho more as he listens to Gi-hun talk and you silently cry. When Dae-ho pulls away to go to the sleeping area, he sees your face.
"hey baby whats wrong are you ok??" He asks worriedly.
"I'm scared..." you admit.
"hey.. look at me.." He makes you look at him. "You know I would never let anything happen to you.. I would protect you with my life..."
You continue crying softly. "But the baby- what if- earlier when I fell my arm hit my stomach really hard so I don't even know if it's ok.."
Dae-ho looks concerned and puts his hand on your bump gently. "Does it hurt at all?" He asks.
"N-not right now but it hurt a lot before-" you stutter.
"Hey.. breathe.. You and the baby will be ok..And I will do everything I possibly can too ensure that.. I promise.." He says softly, now holding your face again.
Your nerves calm down a lot.. You trust him with your life.. you always have so why would he lie now? he would'nt.
He smiles at you and wipes your tears before softly kissing you. You kiss back and it just feels like everything you were scared of before doesn't matter anymore.
Your kiss was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a voice over the speaker, announcing that it was time for bed, followed by the lights flicking off. The abruptness of it snapped you both back to reality, and for a moment, you just sat there, a little dazed. The atmosphere shifted as the intimate moment faded into something more serious. You exchanged a glance with Dae-ho, and without a word, you both made your way toward the sleeping area, the mood now quiet as the both of you sat with the rest of the group and waited for the fight to start like Gi-hun said.
As you all settled in, you felt Dae-ho's arm slip around you, pulling you close. Seeking comfort, you cuddled into him, letting the warmth and safety of his embrace ease your worries. You grew so comfortable, the tension fading, and for a moment, you forgot that danger could be just around the corner. With Dae-ho by your side, you felt secure enough to drift off to sleep, knowing he would protect you. And soon the world outside fading into the background.
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a/n: And once again I suck at making endings. but I hope you guys enjoyed! I don't know if ill make a part three unless you guys really want it. But if I did make one I would have to wait till Season 3 comes out or just make up my own ending. what ever you guys prefer!
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smileysuh · 1 year ago
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real talk
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🌙 starring. Mark Lee x afab!Reader
🔮 preview.“You’re Jeno’s roommate, Jeno’s my friend- I know we’ve just met, but I know things about you.” Hyuck explains. “When you were with your last girl, Jeno used to come to the bar and bitch about you never coming out- he’s been wanting you to meet the rest of the boys for a while, but never wanted to invite us over cuz your last girlfriend had some supernatural cootchie-grip hold on you or something- point is, I know you’re a serial monogamist. Two long-term girlfriends. You like the domestic shit, and I get that- but if you want domestic, it’s not our little Miss Sunshine expo girl. She can’t even sleep next to guys she’s fucked- wakes up at five am, and dips out without a word. Trust me on this, dude, you wanna stay far away from that man-eater.”
tw/cw. Unprotected sex, multiple sex scenes, reader has a hard time cumming, oral (f/m receiving), Mark is a MUNCH, deep throating, fingering, masturbation, use of toys/vibrator, dirty talk, praise, Mark is a simp, sex realism, overthinking during sex, mentions of sexual favours in return for affection, a string of bad ex-lovers, breast worship, creampies, aftercare, finger sucking, drunkenness, etc… I pet names: (hers) sunshine. (his) puppy boy.
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 19.4k
🍭 aus. Restaurant au, line chef!Mark, slow burn, coworkers to lovers, fuck girl who looks like sunshine meets a serial monogamist who looks like a fuckboy, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. I wanted to touch on some realism to kick off the year. Not everything is as easy during sex as it appears in fanfic/p*rn, so I wanted to make something that might be more true to the real experience of afabs who overthink and need extra help to cum- I hope maybe this fic can normalize girls who need some extra machine power to get off ;)
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One:
Mark has only been working at his new restaurant for two weeks, but he’s already fallen in love with the place. Morning shifts have been good for him.  With the help of his favorite expo girl - who always takes the time to explain small details and things he’s been messing up on - he’s already gotten used to the menu. Every day feels better and better.
“This tuna is looking so good, Mark,” you grin, inspecting the plate. 
When he’d first been hired, the fish he’d cut had come out mangled, but after talking him through it, you’d both realized it had been a knife issue. Sharpening his blade had led to Mark perfecting his slices, and now, he eagerly awaits your praises when he puts his food up in the expo window. 
Mark’s eyes follow you as you dart off toward the bar, the plate of tuna balanced perfectly in your hand. The new chef can’t help the smile that works its way onto his lips, and he leans forward, hand flat on the cutting board station in front of him.
“This tuna is looking so good, Mark,” Hyuck’s annoying voice snaps him out of his trance, and Mark turns to look at the man next to him. “God, can you two make it any more obvious that you’re into each other?”
“She’s just doing her job,” Mark assures the other line chef, but he can feel his skin heating at the idea.
“Sure she is. But she doesn’t compliment my cooking as much as she does yours.” Hyuck crosses his arms over his chest, letting out a sigh as his gaze shifts to the view through the expo line. You’re at the bar now, chatting with the man who you’ve just served. However, you’re taking longer than normal, and you’re smiling a lot too.
“No fucking way,” Hyuck breathes, leaning forward and narrowing his eyes. “That guy is hitting on her.”
“Is he?” Mark also dips his head toward the expo window, eager for a look.
“Yeah, mans just slipped her his number,” Hyuck laughs. “That’s our little Sunshine though, isn’t it? This restaurant is her playground.”
“What do you mean?” Mark asks.
“Just that she’s quite popular,” Hyuck brushes it off as you approach the expo line again. “Did you get a number, sweet thing?”
“Why, you jealous?” You grin, holding up the slip of paper with digits on it. 
“You wish,” Hyuck scoffs, but Mark gets the feeling there’s something else going on between the two of you, something unspoken. He’s still getting used to the dynamic of the restaurant, and in work spaces like this, relationships aren’t uncommon. He wonders what history you have with Hyuck, wonders what chance he has with you- wonders if it’s even a good idea.
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Two
“Luna never runs her own food,” Sumi notes, standing with you by the entrance to the restaurant while you watch the tall waitress lean against the expo window. “I know that our new chef is cute, but, damn.”
“She can do what she wants,” you laugh, wiping down menus. “Makes my job easier.”
“You know, it’s kind of felt like you and Mark have some sort of understanding,” Sumi grins, moving close enough that your hips touch by the host station. “He watches you a lot.”
“Does he?” Your gaze moves back to the expo line.
“Uh huh, almost as much as Hyuck does- which, by the way, you sure did a number on him.”
“Hyuck will get over it, he’s a fuck boy,” you wave your hand. “I’m great at attracting that kind of guy.”
“Do you get fuck boy vibes from Mark?” Sumi wonders, tapping her pen against the top of her Ipad thoughtfully.
“He’s definitely cute enough to be a womanizer, don’t you think?”
“Key word being cute,” Sumi points out. “I don’t know, he doesn't give me fuck boy vibes like the other line chefs do.”
“Well, he’s roommates with Jeno, isn’t he?” Your eyes move to the bar. Jeno’s a night bartender, but his close friend, Renjun is working today. “Jeno’s a fuck boy, he got Hyuck and Jaemin jobs here. They’re both fuck boys. It would make sense if Mark was that kind of guy too.”
“I’m still not convinced,” Sumi states, crossing an arm over her chest. “Speaking of men though- whatever happened to that guy who gave you his number the other day? Are you actually considering a date with him?”
“I already had a date with him,” you admit. 
“Yikes, from the way you haven’t mentioned it at all, I’d guess it didn’t go so well?”
“Meh,” you shrug your shoulders. “He won’t be getting a second date.”
“How many first dates have you been on this year?” Sumi asks. “Didn’t you say it was like… a lot?”
“Too many to count,” you giggle. 
“So what’s the deal with that? Like- what’s your type? I know you were seeing Hyuck for a little while, how come that didn’t work?”
“It just didn’t,” you say, looking down at the menus you’ve wiped clean. “I try not to think about my failures too much.”
“Really? But you could learn so much from them,” Sumi frowns. “I mean- look at me and Doyoung. I was never into the more serious types, always went for fuck boys and younger guys- but after some soul searching, I realized I needed someone older who had their shit together.”
“You also have a thing for guys in powerful positions, and Doyoung is literally one of our managers,” you point out.
“Well, I’m still a work in progress,” Sumi winks. “Anyways- think about it. If you look at your dating patterns, you might be surprised by what you find.”
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Three
There’s nothing like the air outside after being in a hot kitchen for a few hours. The lunch rush is finally over, and after having a 20 top that ordered an insane amount of food with an even crazier amount of modifications and allergies, Mark is ready to take a massive puff from his vape pen.
He stands by the back exit to the restaurant, looking out at the cars on the street as he takes a long drag. As he inhales, the door behind Mark opens, and he turns to come face-to-face with you.
The shock of seeing you makes him choke a little, and he begins to cough out a large puff of smoke. Mark’s lungs burn, and his skin feels even hotter, enflamed by the embarrassment of you seeing him take a crappy hit when in reality, he’s a vaping veteran. 
“You good?” you ask, reaching out and gently rubbing his back as you step past him.
“Yeah, I, uh-” Mark’s entire body tingles at the physical contact. “Sorry, you just surprised me.”
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” you grin, stopping in front of him. He notices the way your eyes go to his vape pen, and he immediately holds it out to you.
“Want some?”
“I mean, if you’re offering.” You reach out and accept the sleek black vape. “What’s the flavor?”
“Uh… cotton candy?” God, Mark feels like a fool, especially when you raise a brow at him. “I have a bit of a sweet tooth.”
“Didn’t peg you as a sweet tooth type,” you grin, bringing the refillable device to your lips. Mark watches you take a drag, focusing on your mouth and the way you look sucking on something- he starts to imagine what you’d look like sucking on something else, something substantially bigger. 
As you exhale, you cough a little, and Mark wonders if you’re doing that to make him feel better about his screw-up a moment ago- or maybe you simply don’t vape often, he’s not too sure. 
“Thanks,” you say, still coughing as you hand the vape back to Mark. Your fingers brush gently as he accepts it from you, and as Mark brings the device to his mouth, he’s extremely aware of the fact that your lips had just been where his now are. 
He wonders if it means anything that you’d be so willing to swap spit like this, even on something as innocent as a vape pen. 
“How long are you here till?” you ask, breaking him from his daze. 
“Started at seven am, eight-hour shift, should be off around three when the night cross-over guys come in,” Mark explains. 
“Any fun plans for tonight?” you continue to press. “It is a Friday after all.”
“No plans, will probably just go home, make some food, and watch Netflix all night… what about you?”
You sigh. “No hot dates, unfortunately. Will probably do the same as you. Do you have any good show recommendations? I’ve been looking for something new.”
“I mean, it depends, what are you into?” Mark asks, eager to hear more about your tastes, your likes and dislikes- he knows so little about you, mostly things related to work. He’s curious about what you do in your downtime, and he’s grateful he has an opportunity like this to get to know you even a little bit better.
As you part your lips to respond, the back door swings open, and Hyuck steps out, already mid-puff of his neon orange vape. 
“Oh,” the line chef grins, exhaling through his nose and flashing a grin, “Am I interrupting something?”
“No,” you respond quickly, and Mark notes the shift in your energy, “I was just leaving actually.”
“See you later,” Mark offers, watching you hurry off. 
“Classic her,” Hyuck sighs, coming to stand next to Mark.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s a runner, that one,” Hyuck takes another puff from his vape.
“So you two definitely used to date,” Mark states. The interaction he’s just witnessed verifies his suspicion, and since they’re technically outside of work/the kitchen, Mark feels able to actually discuss this now.
“I don’t know if I’d call it dating,” Hyuck cocks his head to the side, eyes still fixed on you where you’re crossing the street a couple hundred feet away. “Look, do you want real talk? You wanna know about your favorite expo girl?”
“Yeah, I wanna know.” Mark lifts his vape to his lips, readying himself for whatever is about to come out of Hyuck’s mouth.
“I know she looks like sugar and sunshine, but I hate to burst your bubble Mark- she’s a bit of a fuck girl, that one.” 
“It takes one to know one,” Mark points out.
“Touche, but to be fair, I never claimed to be anything other than a guy who likes pussy, and little miss sunshine knew that when we started hooking up a few months ago.” Hyuck lets out another large puff of smoke into the air. “Look, I said I’d give you real talk so here it is. She’s got a lot of expectations. Girl reads those horny romance books-”
“Erotica.”
“Yeah, that’s it, erotica.” Hyuck nods to himself. “Well, she reads erotica, and her ideas about fucking are kind of hard to make real. She’s too in her head all of the time. Apparently - and don’t repeat this anywhere - but apparently no guy she’s fucked has ever made her actually cum. She has this thing where someone told her that if a guy doesn’t make you cum, he doesn’t add to your body count, so allegedly her body count is zero and she’s a virgin, but we both know it’s a lot higher than that.” 
“The whole body count thing doesn’t phase me,” Mark says quietly, although the wheels in his head are spinning.
“Sure it doesn’t,” Hyuck scoffs. “Just listen, if you’re into her, it’s not going to work out. She’s not for beginners like you.”
“Beginners like me?” Mark side eyes the line chef.
“You’re Jeno’s roommate, Jeno’s my friend- I know we’ve just met, but I know things about you.” Hyuck explains. “When you were with your last girl, Jeno used to come to the bar and bitch about you never coming out- he’s been wanting you to meet the rest of the boys for a while, but never wanted to invite us over cuz your last girlfriend had some supernatural cootchie-grip hold on you or something- point is, I know you’re a serial monogamist. Two long-term girlfriends. You like the domestic shit, and I get that- but if you want domestic, it’s not our little Miss Sunshine expo girl. She can’t even sleep next to guys she’s fucked- wakes up at five am, and dips out without a word. Trust me on this, dude, you wanna stay far away from that man-eater.”
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Four
“Mark?” you ask, looking at the takeout bowl in front of you.
“Yeah?” he leans forward, lips parting as he waits for your judgment.
“Didn’t they order the spicy yogurt on the side?” You push the rice bowl forward, pointing at the lines of orange tinted cream that cover the veggies. 
“Shit,” Mark cusses, grabbing the chit-paper receipt and scanning it. “There were like, three other modifications, I didn’t even see the yogurt on the side.”
“It’s okay,” you assure him. “It’s takeout, and there’s pretty much no one in the restaurant, so you have time to make another… besides, I’ll just take this one as my lunch.”
One of the perks of the job is getting to take home the food that’s not correct. You’d been dreading going to the grocery store, your fridge empty of easy meals, but now you don’t have to make the trek, and you’re more than happy about it.
“You know, Mark, you’re my favorite new chef.” He’s also the only new chef, and you’ve been reaping the rewards of minor fuck ups the past two weeks. 
Mark, however, doesn’t seem to note your teasing, and he offers you a genuine smile. “You’re my favorite expo girl.”
“Yeah?” you grin. “And why’s that?”
“You’re really nice about things I mess up,” Mark’s eyes shift to the dragon bowl you’re packing up. “Like, you point things out, and you turn them good. As you said, it’s an easy fix, I have the time, and now you get to eat that.” 
“It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement, that’s for sure,” you laugh. 
“You’re also pretty happy most days, always makes me happy to come in and see our Little Miss Sunshine.” 
“Jeeze, not you calling me that pet-name too,” you roll your eyes. Hyuck had taken to calling you that a few months ago, and somehow the title had stuck. Mark was the only chef using your real name, but it looks like those days might already be behind you.
“It fits,” Mark assures you. “I think it’s cute.”
“Does it fit because I’m cute?” 
You notice the way Mark immediately swallows thickly, his skin turning a pretty shade of pink. “Uh- I mean, yeah,” his voice cracks, and he fiddles with his sleeves, pushing them up to his elbows, “you’re cute-”
“Oh my God-” you stare at his forearms, which are usually covered by his chef coat. “Have you always had all those tattoos?!”
“Did you really never notice these?” Mark looks down at his arms, lifting them so you can see the details.
“I have never noticed them,” you confirm, leaning forward. “Damn, how many tattoos do you have?!”
“A lot?” Mark’s tattoos are patchwork style, all black. They litter his forearms, and you wonder how high up the markings go- you wonder if his chest is covered, or his back- what about his legs?
“I need a tattoo tour,” you insist.
“I mean… I can’t show you all of them-” Mark says sheepishly. 
“Start with that one,” you point at a tattoo of three letters near his inner elbow, “What’s SSG mean?”
“So uh- the first restaurant I worked in, a few of us dishwashers worked our way into the kitchen with no formal training or anything- just started at the bottom, and went up from there. One of us came up with the idea of being the Soapy Suds Gang, like- dishwashers to chefs. Was at that restaurant from the age of fifteen to twenty, and when it closed down cuz the owners just didn’t wanna be in the business anymore, me and all the others got the matching SSG tattoo.”
Mark is adorable. Like, shockingly so. It’s such a stupid yet endearing story- and for some reason, it feels so on-brand for Mark. 
He begins to tell you about a few other tattoos. There’s a shotgun to commemorate his years playing Call of Duty online with friends. A cartoon puppy because apparently his mom never let him get a dog - something about him not being able to handle it if the dog ever died - so when he turned eighteen, he got a dog that could never bite the bullet, etched into his skin with black ink. 
All the marks have meaning, stories that make up the groundwork of Mark’s life. 
“What about that one?” you ask, noting a King of Hearts tattoo that he’d skipped over.
“Oh, uh…” Mark rubs the back of his neck shyly. “My ex-girlfriend wanted a Queen of Hearts tattoo, so I got this one, and… I mean, I don’t regret it, I was with the girl for three years- but, it’s not a tattoo I talk about too often.”
“Three years?” you ask in shock. “You were with your last girlfriend for three years?”
“Why do you sound so shocked?”
“It’s just- I mean,” you lick your lips, leaning in so Mark’s the only one who can hear you, “I hate to say it, Mark, but you look like a total fuck boy.”
“I’m really not,” Mark admits. 
“Even before your last ex?”
“Even before,” the line chef confirms. “I’ve got two ex-girlfriends. The last one ended about a year ago, dated her from age twenty-two to twenty-five. Had a girlfriend from when I was sixteen to twenty-one-”
“So a three-year relationship and a five-year relationship?” 
This gossip keeps getting juicier and juicier. 
“Yeah. The first one moved to another country to teach English, and I’ve never been that into long distance. We tried to make it work, but we agreed the best thing was to let each other go. Then the last girl decided she wanted more from life than some line chef so…” Mark trails off and you feel your heart hurt for him. “Anyways, what about you? How many relationships have you had?”
“A lot more than you,” you answer quickly, although, that’s only if you count one-night stands, flings, and situationships, but you won’t go into those details with Mark right now. “I mean… are you looking for anything right now?”
“What do you mean?” Mark cocks his head to the side.
“You didn’t hear it from me, but… a few of the waitresses are into you,” you whisper.
“Really?” he looks past you at the restaurant, and you see him trail Luna with his eyes. “That’s nice and everything, but waitresses really aren’t my type.”
“Then what’s your type?”
“Expo girls.” 
His words hit you in your chest, and you can feel your pulse quicken immediately.
“I mean-” Mark’s skin has returned to that pretty pink colour. “My first girlfriend- the five-year one, she was the expo girl when I met her- we got close cuz we spent so much time together. I didn’t mean you- I wasn’t trying to hit on you or anything- not that I don’t think you’re cute, cuz you’re definitely cute- fuck.”
You watch him, smiling and completely amused. It appears you’d read the new line chef all wrong. He’s not a fuck boy, he’s a lover boy, and you kind of adore that about him.
“I should uh- I need to remake this dragon bowl-” Mark turns away from you, and you watch him scurry off to the fridge to grab vegetables. 
You’re kind of hoping to tease him so more when he returns, but before he does, Doyoung appears from the back, and he waves you over. “It’s been dead for half an hour,” your manager notes, “you’re cut. Head home, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
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Five
Mark hasn’t been able to stop thinking about your conversation. All night, he’d had you on his mind- and he’d kind of been hoping to get to talk to you today, but you have the day shift and this is one of his first nights scheduled.
Even so, Mark arrives to work thirty minutes early just on the off chance he’ll catch you, and as he’s waiting outside the backdoor, hitting his vape, his hopes come true.
You step out of the back of the restaurant, looking down at your phone. The jacket you’re wearing today is vibrant in contrast to your all-black uniform, and the comfy sneakers you always put on after your shift in flats are beginning to look a little worn out now that winter is almost over. 
“Hi,” Mark says, drawing your attention.
“Oh,” you put your phone into your pocket, offering him a smile. “Hey- you just starting?”
“In ten minutes or so,” the line chef nods. “I uh- I wanted to apologize for yesterday.”
“Apologize for what?” You cock your head to the side. 
“All of it?” Mark suggests.
You laugh, and the sound does things to Mark that he’ll never be able to express. “Seriously, we’re all good,” you assure him. “I think you’re pretty cute too, so, don’t worry about any of it.”
Mark’s mouth feels dry, and it’s not just from the vaping. He fiddles with the device in his hand, working up the courage to say what’s on his mind. “I was wondering- I mean, it sounds like you’re still on the market and all- so I was thinking, maybe, if you’d like- maybe we can go out sometime, or something- but no pressure.”
Your smile widens, and you step closer to him. “What would going out with you look like?”
“Honestly…” Mark swallows thickly, “it would look more like staying in. Since we both work in a restaurant- or maybe it’s just a ‘me thing’, but I’m not super into drinks as a first date, or even food- I’m a bit of a homebody. I’d love for you to just come over, watch some netflix, talk- that sort of shit.”
You look him up and down, and Mark’s body tenses as he waits for your response.
“That actually sounds pretty nice,” you admit. “Here, give me your hand.”
Mark holds out his palm, watching you pull out a Sharpie from your pocket. You write your phone number across his skin. “Careful,” you say, as you draw the last digit, “Don’t wash this off or anything.”
“I won’t,” he assures you, already planning on taking a picture of it with his phone just in case. 
“I should get going, but yeah- text me when your shift is over and we can figure something out.” 
“You got it,” Mark grins, unable to hold in his excitement any longer. “Have a good night.”
“You too.” 
With one final exchange of eye contact that makes Mark’s heart lurch in his chest, you walk off, the line chef’s eyes following you all the way out of sight. 
As he turns to head inside, Mark bumps into Hyuck. “Don’t go in just yet,” Hyuck insists, “stay out here and vape with me for a minute.”
It’s hard for Mark to focus on anything Hyuck is saying about the afternoon rush, but he manages to nod and make sounds of affirmation while his coworker rants about some party of fifteen that walked in and only ordered appetizers. 
“Mark, you’re not paying attention,” Hyuck sighs.
“Sorry, I’m just kind of-” Mark swallows the lump in his throat, “yeah, I’m distracted.”
“Got a hot date?”
“What?” Mark looks up.
“Someone wrote their digits on your hand,” Hyuck grabs at Mark’s wrist, “let’s see-”
Mark tries his best to pull away, but Hyuck’s already assessing the phone number. After a moment, the younger man lets go, his mouth forming a firm line. “I warned you about her.”
Mark’s surprised that Hyuck - who has the memory of a goldfish most days - clearly recognizes your phone number. 
“I told you she’s not for beginners.” 
“Yeah, well, I don’t have to listen to you,” Mark insists. “And not everything is about fucking. She’s gonna come over, we’re gonna watch movies- nothing has to happen. I just want to know her better.”
“Lover boy,” Hyuck scoffs, “she’s going to eat you up, and spit you back out.”
“And if she does, then that’s my choice,” Mark says firmly. “I know she fucked you over or whatever, but that doesn’t mean anything to me, Hyuck. I’m sorry, but I really don’t care about what happened between the two of you.”
“Ouch, dude.”
“If she’s as bad as you say, then you can say you told me so when this is all over. Deal?”
“Deal.”
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Six
“So this is Jeno’s famous fuck pad,” you tease, stepping into Mark’s apartment and looking around. 
“Uh, he doesn’t actually bring girls here that often,” Mark says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “He likes to go to their place, makes it easier to run than kicking a girl out the next morning, you know?”
“I suppose that makes sense,” you nod… you usually fuck guys in their homes for the same reason. “It’s a nice place.”
“Thanks, my ex had a lot to do with the decor and shit.” Now that Mark mentions it, the vibe definitely doesn’t scream ‘boy’, and it especially doesn't scream ‘home of a line chef and bartender.’ 
The cream-colored couch in the living room has pretty sage pillows, there’s a tasteful rug under a circular coffee table. On the table are three candles varying in size, as well as a design book that you’d bet has never been opened or looked at in detail by the men who live here.
It’s a comfortable home, but you wonder what it feels like for Mark to live in a space that constantly reminds him of an ex who ditched him for not having his own shit together.
“I didn’t realize Jeno was a tidy guy,” you note, thinking back to the line of dirty cups he always allows to build up in the bar dish area. 
“He’s not, but I am.” Mark enters the living room, and he takes a seat on the couch, kicking his legs up onto a small puff stool next to the coffee table. “I guess when you work on the line, you’re used to doing little clean-up jobs to keep everything smooth. I don’t mind moving two or three beer cans to the sink every day if it means there aren’t any piles building.” 
So he’s a sexy line chef, with tattoos, who likes long-term relationships, and also cleans up his home? Mark really is a catch amongst flounders.
“Are you going to come sit?” Mark asks, noting the way you stand at the edge of the room. “Or, shit, should I offer you a drink first? We’ve got beer, or I could make you a cocktail or something-”
“I’m good, just… getting used to this.” 
It feels kind of odd to be with Mark in a casual setting. You’ve only ever seen him in a professional manner, with an expo station between you both- now, Mark is right in front of you, and as you sit on the couch next to him, you’re hyper-aware of the way your thighs almost touch.
“So… Netflix?” you ask.
“Yeah,” Mark grabs the remote, the sleeve of his hoodie pushed up so you can see his forearms. 
“You still haven’t given me a full tattoo tour,” you tease, reaching out to gently trace the puppy etched against his skin.
“Maybe that’s a date number two sort of thing,” Mark suggests, tugging the fabric down to cover his skin.
Your grin widens. “Do I make you nervous, puppy boy?” 
“Definitely,” he lets out a shy laugh, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob with the effort of swallowing. “So uh… what do you wanna watch?”
You let out a sigh, relaxing back against the couch. “Surprise me.”
“Well, there’s this anime I’ve been wanting to get into-” Mark finds the show in his ‘to watch’ list.
“Let's do it.”
“Really? You’re down?”
“Uh huh, I’m not that picky,” you nod, offering him a smile.
“It can be…” he starts the first episode, “like- if you wanna keep doing this sort of thing, it could be our show.”
“That actually sounds nice,” you admit. You suppose it shouldn’t be a shock that Mark is thinking long term- you do work together after all, but when you’d been seeing Hyuck, every day was a question of longevity. Would he call? Would he not call?
Hyuck never talked in definitives. He never made promises. The only true thing you could count on was seeing him at work three of five days of the week when your schedules aligned, and he never locked himself in for any more than that. 
“Should I-” Mark licks his lips, “I mean, finding a show was way easier than I thought it would be. Do you want a drink? I’ve got chips?”
“I’m okay, but if you want something, you should grab it.”
“I’m good if you’re good,” Mark mutters, leaning back against the couch. Your shoulders are touching, and you’re already finding it difficult to focus on the tv screen as the anime begins to play.
You’re aware of each breath, each slight shift of Mark’s body. “Are you comfortable?” he asks after a short while.
“I mean, we could probably find a more comfortable position than this one,” you note. 
“Like… do you wanna cuddle?”
“If you want to, I’d be up for that.”
“Okay, one sec,” Mark turns, grabbing at the back cushion of the couch. He tosses it to the side. “I can big spoon you.”
In under a minute, Mark is settling behind you, pillows are adjusted, and a gentle hand finds your hip. You wiggle slightly, trying to get snug against the line chef’s chest. 
“Is this good?” he asks, his breath ghosting by your ear.
“It’s nice, but let me just…” you grab his hand, threading your fingers and bringing it up to your chest, so you’re truly wrapped in his embrace. You can feel his heart against your spine, and you can hear the way his breath catches. “That’s better,” you let out a sigh of relief. 
The anime is fun, but you’re much too focused on Mark. Something tells you he’s quite focused on you as well, and finally, your patience snaps. You roll onto your back, looking up at him.
“You good?” he prompts.
“Uh huh. Just thinking.”
“About?”
You shrug. “I guess maybe I’m just wondering what work is going to be like tomorrow.”
“Hopefully busy.”
You laugh at how innocent Mark can be. “I mean in terms of cuddling with you tonight, then working together in the morning.”
“I mean… how was it with Hyuck when you two were seeing each other?” 
Your heart clenches. “Oh… he uh… he told you about that, huh?”
“Mentioned it once or twice.”
“All good things, I hope?”
“For the most part,” Mark nods. “But just so you know- I don’t take everything Hyuck says seriously. You two had something going on, but every relationship is different. I’m sure you have your own side to the story. I know you’re a good person - that’s what my heart tells me at least - so that’s what I’m going off of.”
You stare up at the line chef. The man you’d pegged as a fuck boy, who is turning out to be the farthest thing from a womanizer that you’ve ever met.
You can’t help but reach up and cup his face. There aren’t words that come to mind, but you hope your expression shows your gratitude for his kindness.
Mark’s gaze dips to your mouth, and you watch the way he sucks his bottom lip between his teeth, gnawing on his slightly. “So no pressure or anything,” he says, voice cracking, “but uh… can I kiss you?”
“You can kiss me,” you confirm, staying still and waiting for the precious man to make his move. Part of you is scared to take control- you’re worried about scaring Mark off, like you’d scare off a wild bird with one wrong muscle twitch. 
You’re still cupping his face, and Mark mirrors the act, gently cupping your cheek. He looks down at you, searching your eyes for a moment. You wonder if he’s looking for any hesitation, any sign that you regret your affirmative answer. Then he looks at your lips, and you can see some of the tension leave his body.
In fact, you see the exact moment Mark decides to give in to his desires. His lips part ever so slightly, his brown eyes shyly meeting your own as he begins to move in closer-
As his mouth presses to your own, you realize this might be the softest kiss a man has ever bestowed upon you. He’s not trying to shove his tongue down your throat- not biting at your lip and asking for entrance. It’s a simple brush of lips on lips, and it leaves you wanting more.
Your hand finds the back of his neck, and you drag him closer, letting out a small mewl. You capture his bottom lip between your own, suckling on it gently-
Mark pulls away, and your eyes open. You’re disappointed, but when you notice Mark breathing heavily, your annoyance dissipates.
“Was that okay?” you ask, worrying that maybe you’d been going too fast for the soft man.
“Yeah- better than okay,” he assures you. 
“Can we… can you kiss me again?”
“Uh huh,” he nods, leaning back down to press his lips against your own. His hand finds your hip, and you play with the hair at the nape of his neck. The kiss is just as gentle as the first, but the passion begins to burn brighter with each passing second.
No one has ever kissed you like this.
You can’t explain it- but in a matter of moments, your attraction to Mark has grown tenfold. 
When he breaks away from you for a second time, you’re both breathing heavily. You open your eyes to stare up at the pretty line chef, watching him swallow thickly.
 “Should we uh… should we keep paying attention to the show?” he asks.
“Yeah,” you say after a moment’s hesitation. “Yeah, we should.” You roll onto your side again, and Mark settles against your back. He tucks you closer, his fingers threading through yours. 
It’s impossible to focus now, and you begin to wiggle slightly, pressing your ass back against the front of his jeans.
“Are you uncomfortable?” Mark asks, letting go of your hand to grab your hip, steadying you.
“I’m fine- I’m just…” - unbelievably horny - “you’re a good kisser.”
He lets out a small laugh. “Thanks. I liked kissing you too.”
“So…” you look over your shoulder at him, “wanna kiss me again?”
Mark grins, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to your lips.
As with the first two times, Mark pulls away much too fast for your liking.
Your head is spinning. You’ve never experienced a situation like this. Mark is being respectful- he’s keeping his hands in PG locations, and the kisses have involved zero tongue- does he not like you as much as you like him?
How much do you like this line chef?
Do you like him because he’s not completely fawning over you like you’re used to?
What is going on?!
“I just want you to know,” Mark says, “it sounds like you’re used to fuck boys and shit, and I uh- well, I’m not like them. There’s no pressure to get naked or anything today-” his voice hitches, “in fact, Jeno will be home soonish so it’s better if we don’t-”
“You don’t want to fuck me?”
Mark tenses behind you. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“If we move to your room, Jeno won’t walk in on us.”
“It’s not about that,” Mark assures you. “Look, I want to take my time with you. This is our first date. I want things to feel right. I want to do this right. Can you understand that?”
You think maybe you’re too horny to want to understand it. 
You want to tear Mark’s clothes off. You want to push him down and ride him until he’s gasping your name and filling you with his cum. You want to feel him still dripping out of you when you go into work tomorrow morning- 
No one has ever made you wait. You’re much too impatient for playing around- and your past lovers have been the same way. 
Even so, you respect the boundary Mark has just expressed. “No fucking tonight,” you agree, “I get that. It’s for the better.”
However, it’s not for the better of your throbbing pussy. 
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Seven
God, Mark can’t take his eyes off of you. It’s been two hours since you arrived on shift, and Mark has been distracted for all of it.
You look adorable today. Your black outfit hugs your body just right, and Mark’s mind is consistently wandering to last night, when his hands had traced your hips before lacing your fingers-
When you speak, he finds his focus shifting to your lips- those pretty lips he’d kissed. The lips that had left him wanting more- the lips he’d thought about for hours after you’d gone home. He’d dreamt of kissing you, but it had fallen quite short to the real thing.
You’d sounded hurt when Mark had said you shouldn’t fuck last night, and part of Mark regrets drawing the line in the sand. But on the other hand, Mark had meant it when he said it wasn’t the right time. 
He doesn’t want to bed you after watching a few episodes of anime. You deserve so much more than that. 
Besides, if he had fucked you last night, Mark might have needed to take a sick day just to calm down. Even now, knowing he’s tasted your lips has his skin heating every time he looks at you. 
God, you’ve got him practically bewitched.
As the lunch rush comes to an end, Mark finds time to go outside and vape. He watches the cars pass while he puffs on his device, closing his eyes and imagining your lips.
As his little break is coming to an end, the door hinges squeak behind him, and Mark turns to find you standing there. 
“Oh, hi,” you grin. 
“Hey.” He looks you up and down. “You leaving?”
“Doyoung cut me again, it’s been slow this week,” you nod. 
Mark swallows thickly. He can’t help the way his gaze dips to your lips again.
You step forward, smiling. “You wanna kiss me again, don’t cha, Mark?”
He doesn’t even bother responding. He slips his vape into his pocket, grabbing your hips to tug you closer. As he brings his mouth down to yours, he pauses for a second, meeting your gaze. If you want to pull away, he gives you ample time, but instead, you wrap your arms around the back of his neck, closing the distance between your lips.
You take more control today than last night. You lick at his lower lip, not doing too much tongue, but providing just enough that it has Mark’s skin tingling with need. His fingers dig against your hips, pulling you tighter. 
The kiss deepens, and Mark’s entire heart lurches in his chest when you let out a pleased mewling sound.
Fuck, he loves your sounds already- you sound so fucking pretty-
“Jesus.” Head Chef John’s voice makes Mark practically jump, and he tears his lips away from your own, eyes immediately finding his boss, who’s standing by the exit door. “Damn, newbie, you work fast, don’t you?”
Mark’s skin feels like it’s on fire, and he’s quick to let go of your hips, stepping away and running an awkward hand through his hair, “Chef-”
“Don’t tease him, Johnny,” you sigh. “You nearly gave Mark a heart attack sneaking up on us like that.”
“I’m shocked neither of you heard the door.”
“We were busy!” you insist, raising your voice in jest at the head chef.
Mark is shocked at the way you talk so easily with his boss. But he supposes you’ve been at the restaurant for over a year- maybe you’re closer with the tall head chef than Mark realized.
“Look, I’ll say what I said when Hyuck was trying to get with you, sunshine,” Johnny grins, reaching into his pocket to pull out a jacked-up vape pen. “As long as you use protection we’re good, I can’t have my line chefs becoming fathers and taking time off.”
“And I’ll say what I said last time you told me to wrap it: never gonna happen.” 
“IUD’s aren’t a hundred percent viable,” Johnny points out, making Mark nearly choke on air.
“Mine has been so far, so stick it old man.” You turn to Mark, “Don’t mind him, he’s protective.”
“I was protective with Hyuck, because he’s a douchebag, but Mark seems okay,” Johnny laughs. 
“Thanks?” Mark can’t believe what he’s hearing. 
“Listen, I’ll text you okay?” You grab the front of Mark’s apron, pulling him in so you can press a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Have a good rest of your shift.”
Mark watches you dart off. He’s tongue-tied, skin still flaring, heart racing in his chest.
“She’s a good one,” Johnny muses. “Best expo girl we have. Don’t fuck it up, Mark, I’ll fire you before we get rid of her.”
“Trust me,” Mark coughs, “I wasn’t planning on fucking things up any time soon.”
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Eight
In the year you’ve had your solo apartment, you’ve not had any guys over. Your MO is to go to the man’s place so you can dip out whenever you get anxious or tired. Inviting a man over to your safe space woman sanctuary is new. The nervousness is manifesting physically; you’re fussing over the overswept floor and the frill on your couch blanket when Mark texts you that he’s arrived. 
With one final breath, you head down to the lobby to let Mark in.
He’s in blue jeans and a black hoodie that sets off the blonde tone of his hair. You’ve been meaning to ask him about who does his bleach out, but you know men can be touchy about their physical appearance and certain body modifications, so you’ve been holding yourself back.
He looks good. That’s all that really matters. 
“Hey,” Mark grins as you open the door, pulling you into a hug. 
“Hey, yourself,” you smile back, pulling away from the embrace to lead Mark to the elevator. You can hear the line chef following you, and you suddenly feel self-conscious about your building. 
“It’s a nice place,” Mark notes, as if he can read your mind. “New build?”
“I think it’s been here like three or four years? I moved in last winter.”
“Right,” he nods, coming to a stop next to you as you hit the button to call the elevator. 
You can feel him staring at you, and it’s making you even more nervous. “What?” you ask, letting out a short laugh.
“Nothing, you just uh… you look cute.” 
“I’m literally in PJ’s.” Your gaze dips to your simple fuzzy purple shorts, and the tank top you’re wearing.
“But they’re nice. I’ve only ever seen you in work outfits, and when you came over last time you were in jeans. You look cute dressed down like this.”
You’d been worried about being so casual with Mark- dressing for comfort instead of the need to impress, but it seems you’ve succeeded in both comfortability and making a good impression. 
“Thank you,” you smile, your insides practically glowing from the compliment. No other man has seen you this way and called you cute- it’s one of the reasons you usually dip out from a man after sex. There’s no comfort or getting comfortable- your other relationships have always been rigid, a push pull and need to be perfect at all times in order to be deserving of attention.
You make it up to your floor, and another wave of anxiety washes over you as you let Mark into your small apartment. “It’s not much,” you sigh, “but it’s home.”
Mark slips off his sneakers by your door, looking around. “No, I like it,” he assures you. “No roommates kicking around- I bet living alone is pretty relaxing.”
“It can be, but it’s also lonely at times,” you admit.
“Well, if you get lonely here, you can always call me and I can come entertain you.”
Mark’s words give an air of longevity. He sounds certain about this, as if it’s a given that he’s part of your life now, as if he’s not going anywhere. 
You’re not sure what to make of Mark. You’ve never really had steady consistency from a man- but he seems so sincere, it makes you want to be hopeful, and hope can be a dangerous thing for a girl like you.
“So uh… can I get you something to drink?” you ask. “We’re just watching anime right?”
“I’m good. If I get thirsty, I’ll let you know,” Mark assures you, taking a seat on the couch in your living room. “Should we uh… should I move some of these pillows so we can cuddle again?”
You grin, pouring yourself a cup of water. “If you want to cuddle, we can cuddle.”
“I want to cuddle,” Mark states, immediately grabbing at the cushions and rearranging your space to allow for you both to lie down. 
He’s adorable. Laying down in front of him already feels kind of natural. The way he grabs your hip and tugs you close to his chest has your heart singing, and his breath against the back of your neck is as familiar as anything.
Not much needs to be said as you start your anime. You’re simply enjoying the comfortability of companionship- companionship lacking any pressures or timeframes. You’re two souls sharing your moments together.
It’s a different feeling for your mind to go blank while you’re with Mark. You’re shocked by how safe you feel in his embrace. 
You talk here and there, the two of you discussing moments in the anime, but conversation doesn’t get much deeper than that. You actually kind of enjoy not having to use your brain, and you’re definitely enjoying the warmth of the man behind you.
“I’m uh, gonna take my hoodie off,” Mark tells you, shifting slightly. 
“Okay.” You give him space, turning to look over your shoulder as he lifts the fabric off his body, revealing the white tshirt below. “Wait, can you give me a deeper tattoo tour now?”
“Uh…”
“You said you’d give me a proper tour on the second date,” you tease, hooking your finger in the neck of his shirt and gently pulling, giving yourself a tiny peak of marked skin along his collarbones.
“I guess I did say that, didn’t I?” Mark laughs sheepishly. “Okay,” he takes a deep breath, sitting up again and grabbing the hem of his shirt.
As Mark reveals his chest to you, you’re a little taken aback by what you see.
Generally, you’re pretty good at guessing a man’s build under his clothing, but Mark is much more toned than you thought he would be. It’s clear he works out, and the muscles you see are amplified by tasteful placement of tattoos littering his torso.
“Where do I even start?” Mark asks, looking down at himself.
“Wherever you want to.” You turn to face him, anime forgotten in the background.
He brushes his own fingers across one of the ferns decorating his collarbones. “These are my mom’s favourite plant.”
“Her favourite plant?” you grin.
“Yeah, I know, most moms have a favourite flower, but my mom kind of really likes ferns.”
“Sounds like you’re close with her,” you note.
“I’m a complete mama’s boy,” Mark admits with a laugh, which is when your gaze lands on a heart with the word ‘Mom’ tattooed on his ribs.
“I see that.” You reach out and gently brush the mark.
The line chef shivers under your touch, the muscles in his abdomen jumping deliciously. You wonder how ticklish he is. 
“Then this one,” Mark touches the moth blooming out from his sternum, “was just really cool and the artist needed someone to practice on, so I said, let’s do it, fuck me up.”
You grin at his choice of words. Mark can be kind of reserved at work, it’s interesting to hear his dirty mouth now that you’re alone. 
You kind of love listening to him as he continues with the tour, tracing the lined patch work. Each mark is another story or detail about the line chef you’re starting to fall for, and you commit his words to memory. 
He’s done the tour of his tattoos much too fast for your liking. You trace the last of the marks, a dagger on his bicep. 
Laying on your back with Mark on his side next to you, things feel very intimate, especially now that his focus has shifted away from his tattoos and is solidly fixed on you.
His hand finds your abdomen, and he gently lines the curve of your hip with his fingers.
Neither of you say anything, caught in the peaceful quiet and moments of mutual discovery. 
His fingers brush by your rib cage, and you’re struck by the need for more. Gently placing your hand over his, you prompt him up higher, until his palm is placed over your breast. You sneak a glance at Mark, noticing the way he swallows thickly.
“Are you a boobs man, Mark?”
“I mean… who isn’t?”
You grin at his answer. “Should I take my shirt off? It’s only fair, right? Yours is off.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” he assures you.
“I want to take my shirt off.”
“Then take your shirt off,” he says quietly.
You sit up, quickly discarding the fabric before laying back down again. Now you’re just in a bra and PJ shorts. Mark sucks in a breath, his hand finding your bare hip. Once again, you have to guide his touch up to your breast. This time, when he squeezes you, his thumb rubs over the swell of plump flesh.
You can feel your nipple hardening with interest, pressing against the cup of your bra. “We should take this off next,” you suggest, grabbing at your strap.
“Yeah?” Mark’s eyes widen as he looks at you, his lips parting as he breathes heavier.
“I mean, unless you want me to keep it on?”
“Like I said,” the line chef brushes his thumb over your skin again, “do whatever makes you most comfortable.” 
You sit up again, reaching behind your back to undo the clasp. For a moment, you pause. This is a line you won't be able to uncross. You’re about to show your coworker your boobs. Your sweet, honest, adorable, line chef coworker, who gazes at you with stars in his eyes- your fuck boy look alike secret softie-
You undo your bra, throwing it off the couch before laying flat again. This time, you don’t have to prompt Mark’s hand, he gently traces his fingers up your ribs until he’s cupping your breast. He watches you tentatively, sucking his lower lip into his mouth as his thumb brushes over your hardened nipple.
“You’re so pretty,” he whispers.
“You think so?”
“I know so,” Mark says, firmly this time.
“Come here,” you reach up to cup the back of his neck, drawing his lips to yours. He kisses you like he’s afraid you might break, but when you whimper, he responds with a groan, deepening the passion as his tongue glides against your own.
His hand kneads your breast, making you moan again, pushing up toward his palm. You can feel the desire growing between your legs as he kisses you, and you reach out to trace his chest. Your touch begins to lower, fingers grazing over his abdomen-
Mark breaks the kiss, nuzzling against your jaw to prompt your face to the side so he can access your throat. He peppers your skin in soft kisses, slowly descending until he reaches your collar bones-
You realize what he’s about to do and tangle your fingers through his soft blonde hair, pushing your chest up in silent affirmation. “Mark-” you whimper, rewarded when his wet lips wrap around your nipple.
Fuck, he feels so good-
Has anyone ever felt this good?
Maybe it’s the waiting- the going slow, or maybe it’s just the fact that Mark makes you feel safe, but regardless, each touch, each brush of his lips and tongue, has you mewling. You’re pretty sure you’ve soaked through your panties at this point, your pussy practically throbbing with each flick of his wet muscle against your pebbled nipple.
“Mark?” you whisper, tightening your grip in his hair. “Are you…” you swallow thickly. “Are you going to fuck me?”
The line chef pulls away from your breast, looking up at you with dark chocolate eyes. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do-”
“What if I want this?”
“I usually don’t sleep with girls on the second date-”
“Make an exception?” you plead. 
You haven’t been fucked in a few weeks, and you’re feeling desperate. You want to connect with Mark on that physical level, and sex is always the way you do that with men. You want him to feel good, to give him a reason to stick around like he says he will.
“But wait-” you feel your skin heat, “I have something I should tell you first.”
Mark cocks his head to the side, waiting for you to continue.
“I uh… I’m going to be super real with you right now.” You take a deep breath. “Look, I read a lot of smut? That’s like- I read a lot of erotica, written porn, I guess- and, in smut, and porn especially, girls always just cum so easily- and I wish I was that type of person, but I’m not. No guy has ever… you know, gotten me there. What I’m trying to say is, I can have fun even without cumming. So if I can’t get there with you, it’s not you, it’s literally me-”
“Hey,” Mark reaches up to cup your cheek, cutting off your rambling. “Thanks for telling me, but there’s no pressure. Whatever happens, happens. For some girls, you have to get more comfortable. My first girlfriend was like that too, and there’s never any judgement from me. I’m willing to wait for you to feel safe enough that your body relaxes.”
“You are?”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he assures you. “I mean, I can’t promise that I’ll be as good as the guys in your books or in porn. Dirty talk is something I have to get used to using too, but, if we give it time, I’m sure we’ll figure each other out.”
You search his eyes, processing what he’s just said. Then you give him a small nod. “That sounds good to me.”
“Good.” He leans forward, pressing his lips to yours. “But, if we’re going to do this, I’d like for us to go to your bedroom, if that’s okay.”
“Yeah, of course.” You sit up, getting off the couch quickly while Mark follows. As you get to the door of your bedroom, you look over your shoulder, snaking your fingers into your shorts and pulling them down.
“Fuck-” Mark groans, eyes taking in your body.
You can see a half chub pressing against the denim of his blue jeans, and your pussy throbs again. “Come on, puppy boy,” you tease. 
He’s quick to catch you, wrapping his arms around you and pressing his chest to your back. His lips find your neck and you giggle, moving toward your bed while dragging the line chef with you.
“You’re so pretty,” Mark groans, tracing your curves with one hand while the other reaches to grab your breast.
Turning in his arms, you press your lips to his, enjoying the way each kiss gets deeper. He’s relaxing against you, his tongue exploring you more and more. 
When you make it to the bed, he gently prompts you to sit down. You look up at Mark, watching him take in your form. “How did I get this lucky?” he asks.
“You asked me out,” you remind him. “So you did this all yourself, Mark.”
“Did I?” he grins, sinking to the floor.
You’re surprised by the new position, surprised by the way he gently parts your knees, his gaze finding your hot core. 
“Can I take these off?” he questions, gently tugging at your panties.
“Yeah-” you whisper.
Most guys don’t eat you out as an appetizer. In fact, you have to ask most men to go down on you- but here’s Mark, doing it all of his own accord. And he looks so needy- in the best possible way.
Mark slips your panties down your legs, and then his lips find your calf. He begins kissing up your skin, spreading your thighs to accommodate him. 
“You don’t have to-” Your words are lost when he presses a kiss to your clit.
“Don’t have to what?” Mark asks, looking up at you.
“Don’t have to eat me out-”
“I want to eat you out,” he confirms. “I’ll eat you out for as long as you want me to- but, when you need more, just say something, and I’ll give you anything you want.”
“Really?”
“Uh huh,” Mark hums, immediately pressing his mouth against your core again. He licks a wet stripe of your pussy, and it makes your legs twitch on his shoulders.
You relax against the mattress, closing your eyes and focusing on the feeling of Mark pleasuring you. Your fingers tangle in his hair, keeping him where you need him. He focuses on your clit, circling it and toying with it.
It feels amazing- it does, but there’s some sort of mental block in your brain. You wish you could just cum from this, but the more you think about that, the more you distract yourself from Mark. God, you almost feel bad making him eat you out like this- he’s not getting anything-
The overthinking is something you’re used to, and try as you might to talk yourself down from the ledge of sexual issues, you can’t relax. You can’t focus on Mark, and it frustrates you to no end.
Finally, after what feels like hours of him eating you out - although it must only be a few minutes - you gently tug his hair. “Want your cock now,” you tell him.
“Yeah?” Mark wipes his hand across his mouth, looking up at you with pupils blown from lust.
“Please,” you nod. 
“Should I uh- should I grab a condom?”
You’re quick to shake your head. “We’re both clean right?”
“Yeah-”
“I have an IUD, remember? I want you to cum inside of me.”
Mark draws in a shaky breath. You watch him swallow thickly, then he stands up, undoing his blue jeans. When he pushes down his pants, he moves his underwear too, and just like that, your favourite line chef is standing naked in front of you.
He’s got a pretty cock. It’s girthy, cut, and must be around seven or so inches. The tip is curved slightly to his left, and it’s leaking precum even though you’ve hardly touched him.
Did Mark really get that turned on just from eating you out?
“Come here,” you offer him a small smile, shifting up your bed until your head reaches the pillows. You open your arms for Mark, watching him press a knee onto the mattress and approach you. Your legs wrap around his hips, and you drag him into a kiss.
The kiss is passionate, but there’s a tentative energy to it as Mark’s cock presses between your pussy lips, collecting the juice and saliva that’s congregated there. 
“Are you sure about this?” Mark asks, panting against your mouth. 
You open your eyes to look up at him, nodding.
“I uh… I need to hear you say yes.”
“Yes, Mark, I’m sure about this,” you say, trailing your fingers through his hair. “Please, I want you.”
He searches your eyes, then, with a final nod, he kisses you again. One of his hands slides between your bodies, and you feel him line his cock up with your core. Your legs tighten around his hips, and it’s something like a united effort when his length sinks into your pussy.
You both groan against each other’s lips. The kissing stops, but you remain close enough that your noses are touching. His breath is hot against your skin, and he begins to fuck you slowly, his cock filling you perfectly.
“You feel so good,” Mark groans. 
All you can do is moan in response, drawing his lips back to yours while he fucks you.
You get lost in the feeling of him, and the kissing does aid in calming down your tumultuous thoughts. You can focus on the pleasure that thrums through you with each thrust, the way his cock glides against your inner walls and stretches you out.
Mark grabs your hand, interlocking your fingers and pressing you against the bed, his hips working faster. His tongue is eager against your own, and he eats up your soft whimpers. His groans and grunts of effort make your soul sing, your heart beating quickly in your breast.
“Shit,” Mark pulls away from the kiss, looking down at you. “It’s been a minute since I’ve- since I’ve slept with anyone,” he admits. “I’m uh… pretty close.”
“Want you to cum,” you tell him.
“Yeah?”
“Please- want you to fill me up-”
Mark groans, pressing his lips against your own. You kiss him desperately, tightening your legs around his hips. He squeezes your hand, his groans muffled by your mouth.
His hips work faster and faster- then, all at once, he kind of just stops. You can feel his cock throbbing inside of you, and his grip on your hand is tight as he coats your insides with his cum.
You hold him through his high, your free hand petting his hair while he brings his lips to your neck, panting desperately and kissing your skin. 
He lets out a sigh of relief as he finishes. Mark pulls away from your throat, looking down at you. You can tell there’s something he wants to say, but it’s clear that he’s not able to find the right words. “I, uh…” he licks his lips. “Should I grab you a tissue or something?”
“Yes, please,” you laugh, letting go of him so he can get off the bed. You watch him look around your room, finding your tissues on the nightstand. 
His legs are as covered in patchwork tattoos as the rest of him, and you’re pleased that the tour will continue another day. He hands you the tissue. “Do you want to use the bathroom first?”
“You can go for it, I just need a second,” you tell him.
Mark nods, pressing one last kiss to your lips before he leaves your bedroom.
You lay there in bed, holding the tissue between your legs to capture any of the cum beginning to leak out of you. 
You’re glad Mark got to cum. You’re not surprised you hadn’t. You just hope maybe one day you will get there, and for some reason, you have a hunch Mark will be the one to achieve an orgasm for you. Or at least, you hope he will. 
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Nine
“So did you do it?” 
“Hmm?” Mark looks up from the chicken he’s cutting.
“You had your second date with Sunshine last night, right?” Hyuck presses. “So…. did you do it? Did you make her cum, or what?”
“Why are you so obsessed with this?” Mark sighs, looking at the other side of the kitchen where John is working. “We shouldn’t be talking about this here.”
“Nah, this is the perfect place to talk about it,” Hyuck leans against the work station, his back to the head chef. “So I’m guessing you didn’t make her cum.”
“Is that all you were thinking about every time you fucked her?” Mark asks.
“Duh.”
“Did you ever stop to think that maybe that’s the kind of mentality that would make a girl overthink the situation?” Mark shakes his head. “I bet you would watch her super intently and then just ask her to cum.”
“That’s a move, Mark, it’s called having rizz.”
“But it never worked, so was it really rizz, or were you just fucking yourself over?”
Hyuck narrows his eyes. “So now you’re the expert on making girls cum?”
Over Hyuck’s shoulder, John stops what he’s doing and turns to stare at the line chefs. Mark can feel his skin heating, and he opens his mouth to rectify the situation, but Hyuck’s already speaking again. 
“I bet you a hundred bucks you won’t be able to make her cum.”
“Fuck you, I’m not betting money on this shit,” Mark hisses. 
“Sounds like something a pussy would say.”
“A pussy with a knife in his hand,” the line chef notes, his grip tightening on the handle. “Look, when I do make her cum, you have to stop bashing her like it’s her fault that you wouldn’t take the time to make her comfortable.” 
“And when you don’t make her cum?”
“It’s not going to happen.” Mark’s not sure where his confidence is coming from, but something in his heart tells him to be firm about this. He’s going to get you there. It might take a few weeks, hell, it might take over a month- but he’s going to get you to the point where you relax enough to cum for him, or so help him God-
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Ten
Mark had cum inside of you three times since arriving at seven, and at two am he had finally broached the idea of heading home. “I should probably go,” the line chef had sighed, holding you closer to his chest.
“I mean… you could always just stay over?” you’d suggested.
“Yeah?”
“It’s our third date, why not?” you’d shrugged, cuddling tighter against him. 
You hadn’t planned this, it had just sort of happened, and that’s how Mark had ended up sleeping at your place for the first time. 
He’d woken up half way through the night, voice raspy, hands grabby, moaning about how lucky he was to be here with you. Falling asleep again after he’d railed you had been as easy as breathing, and now, in the morning hours, you’re in the shower to wash off all the cum he’d left on and inside of you. 
Neither of you have to be at work till the afternoon, and you kind of like the idea of lazing around with Mark, who’s still passed out in your bed. 
You take your time with your skin care and hair, and when you finally enter your room, you’re intrigued to find the line chef still asleep. He’s quite handsome like this, all bundled up in your white duvet, blonde hair shining around him like a halo.
You try to be careful as you crawl onto the mattress next to him, but Mark immediately rolls over to pull you tight to his chest. He lets out a soft groan, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
God, why are things so domestic with this boy already?
His hands trail up and down your back, fingers stroking your skin. You’d put on his shirt, but other than that, you’re naked, and it doesn’t take long for Mark to realize that fact. His touch moves down to your hip, sliding under the shirt. His thumb draws circles against your bare skin, and he lets out another moan. 
“Morning, puppy boy,” you laugh.
“Hungry,” Mark whispers. 
“Hmm?”
“I said,” he leans down, pressing kisses to your throat, his lips brushing by your ear when he repeats himself; “Hungry.”
“I can make you breakfast,” you assure him.
“Don’t want food,” Mark says. “Want you.”
In one quick motion he pushes you onto your back, getting on top of you. His breath is hot against your neck, and he tugs on your shirt, pulling it up to reveal your breasts. His mouth wraps around your nipple, and he sucks on it gently, releasing sounds of pleasure. 
You thread your fingers through his hair, letting out a sigh of relief. “Feels good,” you tell him.
One of his hands slips between your legs, his digits teasing your slit. “Always so wet for me,” he groans, releasing your nipple with a pop. “Can I taste?”
Mark is definitely getting more bold with you, but that’s what happens when you’ve fucked a handful of times, had three dates, and one sleep over. 
“You can do anything you want to me,” you tell him.
The line chef kisses down your abdomen, pushing your legs open as he settles between them. You thread your fingers through his hair as he brings his mouth to your core, licking at your pussy lips. 
Mark is really good at oral. This is the fourth time he’s eaten you out. With each time he presses his mouth to your pussy, part of you gets more and more convinced that you’ll cum this way. When he adds two fingers into your aching core, you’re pretty much sure that it will happen-
It feels so good, and the moans that escape you reflect that. Your hips buck toward his face, prompting Mark to press a palm to your lower abdomen, keeping you pinned.
But every time you think you’re close - every time you’re about to announce it to him - the feeling dissipates. 
You can feel yourself getting more and more irritated with your body, and soon, you give up entirely. “Mark?”
“Hmm?” The vibrations against your clit have your thighs shaking.
“Can I just- can we just fuck? Please? I want you inside of me.”
Mark pulls away from your pussy, his fingers continuing in your hole. “Are you sure? You know I enjoy playing with you like this.”
“I know- but, I just- I’m in my head again. Want your cock in my pussy.”
Mark takes his fingers out of your core, bringing them to his lips to lick clean. Then he crawls up your body, kissing you so you can taste yourself on his tongue. 
“I’ll fuck you,” he says, “but don’t ever think I don’t enjoy being between your thighs like that, okay? You don’t have to cum, I know from the sounds that you make that you enjoy it, and that’s enough for me until you get there, yeah?”
You swallow thickly, nodding. “I’m still in my head.”
“I get that, Sunshine,” he kisses you gently, cupping your cheek as he lines his cock up with your wet hole. “If there’s anything I can do to stop the overthinking-”
“Just fuck me,” you insist, wrapping your legs around his hips.
Mark laughs. “You got it.”
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Eleven
“Dude, is that a hickey on your neck?” Hyuck’s annoying voice makes Mark flinch, and his hand immediately flies to slap against the side of his throat.
“What? No.” 
“It totally is,” Hyuck laughs. “Damn, you two must really be going at it a lot.”
“We’re having fun.”
“Fun like two times? Three?”
“Fun like five times in the past twenty four hours.”
“Jesus Christ.” Hyuck’s eyes practically bulge out of his head. “Are you serious?”
“I don’t know what you were talking about with her not being able to sleep next to you. She passed out just fine with me last night.”
Hyuck lets out a deep breath. “Fucking Hell. Maybe I underestimated you. So… did she cum?” 
Mark sighs. He hates to be talking about this while at work. You’re running food, but you could be back at any second, and Mark doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea about all of this. Hyuck is the instigator of these sexual talks, and Mark doesn’t know how much to keep to himself.
“So that’s a no,” Hyuck deduces. “Big ouch.”
“I feel like we shouldn’t talk about this anymore,” Mark says finally.
“Why? Is your pride hurt?” 
Mark lets out another annoyed breath. “I just think it’s disrespectful. You’re an ex fling of hers, you don’t deserve to know everything about her personal life.”
“I don't want to know about her personal life,” Hyuck rolls his eyes. “I want to know about her sex life, there’s a difference.” 
“I’m done talking to you about this,” Mark insists.
“Damn, someone is starting to sound like a protective boyfriend. Jeeze, calm down.”
Mark hates that there’s some truth in what Hyuck is saying. He already feels quite protective of you. He’s got dates planned, things that can make you smile. He pays close attention to you when you speak, looking for your likes and dislikes. 
Mark is falling for you faster than he’d ever care to admit, especially not to Hyuck of all people. 
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Twelve
“Who does a staff Christmas party in January?” Jungwoo asks as a bunch of you take the big table after the restaurant has closed.
“We were all too busy at Chirstmas time, remember?” Jaehyun says, looking at his waiter friend. “And then there was New Years, and we closed early.”
“I agree with you Woo, a mid January Christmas party feels weird,” you grin, leaning against your favourite server. 
In all honesty, it feels like your managers Taeil and Doyoung just wanted to give you all some time to relax and celebrate. January can be a slow month in the restaurant business, and you’d heard Jeno mention yesterday that there are four or five bottles of wine that no one has been ordering that have to be used up. 
As you begin to drink the wine, the mid January Christmas party makes more and more sense. The chefs have finished their closing tasks, with John joining you first, followed by Hyuck, and finally Mark.
With Jaehyun across from you, Jungwoo on one side, and John on the other, you’re surrounded. Mark sits at the other end of the table, offering you a small smile. You give him a gentle wave in response, giggling to yourself over the rim of your wine glass.
“Gosh, Sunshine,” Jungwoo slides closer to you. “Are you drunk already?”
“You’ve been refilling my glass,” you point out, pouting a little.
“Because you’re a cute drunk,” he grins. 
“A very cute drunk,” Jaehyun agrees, eyeing you from across the table. 
The thing about dating a coworker and it being new means you can’t talk about it. Until there’s a label with you and Mark, you’re keeping your lips shut. As far as Jungwoo or Jaehyun know, you’re single, and the latter of the two has been hitting on you for months.
It feels odd to have Jaehyun calling you cute while Mark is just a few seats down. Your stomach twists into drunken knots, and you wish you could move to be closer to your new secret Boo-
In the periphery of your vision, you note Mark stand up and begin to head to the bar. It feels like the perfect excuse to get some time alone with him, so you hop off of your chair. 
Mark’s grabbed a glass and is beginning to pour himself a beer from the tap by the time you reach him. “Hi, puppy boy,” you grin.
“Hey, Sunshine,” he laughs, looking you up and down. “Jungwoo’s been feeding you the wine, huh?”
“Just like… a normal amount.” God, you can’t help but smile constantly at the boy who has your heart twisting into love sick knots. 
“Are you tipsy?” Mark cocks his head to the side as he finishes pouring his drink.
“Maybe…”
“Can I get you some water?” he suggests.
You lean forward over the bar top, lowering your voice so only Mark can hear you. “I’m thirsty, but not for water or wine.”
It takes Mark a moment to read the innuendo of your words, but then he laughs. “I should get you some water.”
“What if I don’t drink it?”
“What if I ask you to please drink it?” he counters, already filling a cup for you. 
“Okay, fine. Just for you, though.” 
Mark grins as he hands you the glass.
“Why do you take care of me so much?” you ask, as the two of you head back to the table.
“Because,” Mark pulls your chair out for you, “you’re my favourite expo girl.”
“I better be,” you say, teasingly narrowing your eyes at Mark before he walks back to his own seat down the long table.
You begin to nurse your water. Mark’s right about you needing it. The tipsyness has somehow intensified- probably because Jungwoo had insisted you finish your wine glass. You feel blurry as you sit there and listen to your coworkers chat.
“I just don’t like saying chicken breast,” Jungwoo states.
“But that’s what they are!” Yuta, one of the night line chefs, insists. “They’re breasts!”
“I just tell customers that the alfredo comes with chicken, they don’t need to hear me say breast!” Jungwoo fights back. “Jaehyun agrees with me, right Jae?”
“Yeah, I just say chicken,” the man across from you nods.
“Taeyong also just says chicken,” Jungwoo continues. “So right now it’s three to one.”
“Hyuck,” Yuta calls across the table, gaining the attention of the men at the other end. “Do you call it chicken breast, or just chicken?”
“Neither,” Hyuck says confidently. “Thems some chicken boobies.”
You can’t believe the conversation you’re hearing. “I think it’s time for me to leave,” you decide. 
“What? Why?” Jungwoo whines.
“I can’t be here for a discussion about chicken.”
Jungwoo slams his hand on the table. “See, she said just chicken too!” 
Yuta points his finger at you like you’re on a game show. “Is that your final answer?” 
You lean forward, pretending his hand is a microphone. “Chicken titties.”
“Yeah, we’re cutting you off,” Jungwoo decides. “You need to go home and sleep.”
“Someone should make sure you get back to your place okay,” Jaehyun notes, standing from his chair.
“I’ll take care of her,” comes Mark’s voice from the other end of the table.
Jaehyun turns to stare at the line chef, who also stands up. 
John is next to you, and you watch a knowing expression appear on his features, grinning as he sips his beer. 
“You still have half your drink left,” Jaehyun insists, “And, I’ve known our little miss Sunshine for much longer than you have. I’m sure she’s probably more comfortable with me taking her home.”
A muscle in Mark’s jaw feathers. You watch him reach down and grab his beer, downing the whole thing in three large gulps before wiping the back of his hand across his mouth.
Fuck, the motion reminds you of what he does whenever he eats you out, and you feel almost dizzy thinking about it.
“Who’s it gonna be, Sunshine?” Hyuck grins. “Jaehyun, or Marky boy?”
“Let’s go, Mark,” you say, offering Jaehyun a small smile. “We’ll see all you guys tomorrow.”
Jaehyun looks pretty defeated, but you can’t even bring yourself to care as Mark comes around the table to offer you his arm. At first, you think you don’t his help, but when you stumble after one step, you latch onto his bicep.
“I was hoping you’d go home with me tonight,” you whisper as the two of you exit to the parking lot, where Mark’s truck is waiting. He helps you climb inside, smiling and shaking his head.
“Sunshine, if you ever want me to go home with you, you don’t have to get drunk, just ask.”
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Thirteen
“I’m really not that drunk,” you insist, making your way over to the liquor cabinet again.
Mark sighs. You’re a grown adult, he can’t keep directing you away from the booze. “Okay, I believe you. What do you want? Let me make it for you.”
“I want…” you think about it for a moment. “An espresso martini.”
“It’s late, won’t the espresso make it hard for you to sleep?” You’re definitely drunk and you both know it.
“I don’t care. Want espresso martini.”
“Okay, Sunshine, you got it.” Mark moves through your kitchen, finding the espresso machine there. He slips a pod into the device, setting up a cup. 
“Can you add honey?” you ask, already moving to the cabinet to grab a bottle. Mark takes it from you, squeezing some of the honey into the bottom of the cup as hot coffee begins to pour over it. “I also want Baileys.”
Mark laughs a little, shaking his head as you stumble to grab the large Irish Cream bottle from your cupboard.
“And also ice,” you declare. “Frothed.”
“This is a whole thing, huh?” Mark watches you fill the frother with Baileys. 
“I like what I like,” you insist. “We’re gonna triple froth this.”
“You’re the boss.” Mark reaches into his pocket, pulling out his vape. You’ve been letting him smoke in here, and he appreciates the reprieve as the two of you make this very complicated espresso martini. 
By the time you’re done with it, Mark’s not even sure you could call it an espresso martini. With the amount of frothed foam on top, this drink is something else entirely. 
He watches you lift the cup to your lips, immediately getting foam on your face. You simply giggle and wipe it off, licking your finger clean. Then you dip your digit into the froth, scooping it up and popping it in your mouth.
Mark swallows thickly while watching you do this.
“Puppy,” you groan, “this is so good.” You offer him your finger. “Try it.”
Mark can’t say no to you, so he allows you to dip your finger into his mouth. He licks you clean, watching the way your breath catches. You bite on your bottom lip, swaying a little on your feet.
“Your turn,” you say quietly, holding out the cup.
“My turn?”
“I wanna suck on your fingers.”
Mark knows you're drunk. He knows this probably isn’t the best idea for either of you, but he simply can’t say no to you. Not now, not ever. 
He dips his pointer into the foam, then presents it to you. 
You grab his wrist, keeping him still while you move forward to suck on his finger, releasing a small groan. Mark can already feel the blood rushing to his cock, but he ignores it as he goes for another scoop of froth. 
“Tastes better on you,” you tell him, licking his digit clean again. “More. Please.” 
The way you look at him each time you suck his finger tells Mark that you’re as horny as he is. When he scoops with two digits, you practically mewl as you lick.
“I wanna suck on something bigger,” you state.
“Sunshine,” Mark sighs, “I really don’t want to take advantage-” 
“You’re not. Mark, you’ve eaten me out so many times, please let me return the favour?” You’re already sinking to your knees on the kitchen floor, and the sight of you makes Mark’s cock throb in his jeans. “Please, I just wanna suck you off.”
“You know I can never say no to you.”
As the words leave him your hands find his belt. In moments, you’re pushing his pants down, your grip wrapping around the base of his cock. He watches you lick your lips, your gaze meeting his as you lean forward to take him into your mouth.
Mark immediately lets out a groan. “You feel so good, sunshine.”
You whimper around his length, and the vibration has Mark’s fingers twitching. He reaches for your head, cupping your face while you suck him off. His other hand places your drink on the kitchen counter before falling to his side. The line chef’s head falls back, his eyes closing as he eats up the feeling of you.
“That’s it,” he sighs, loving the way you twirl your tongue around his shaft.
You take as much of him past your lips as possible, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. You gag around him, causing Mark’s eyes to fly open. He looks down at you with concern, but you keep sucking him.
“You don’t have to deep throat me,” Mark assures you, pushing some hair away from your face.
You let out a whine, sinking onto him again, only for your throat to constrict tight around his tip. 
Mark groans. “Fuck, Sunshine, I’m serious.”
The line chef could never do what you’re doing right now. Not because he’s not into cock, but because he has the worst gag reflex ever. He knows what it’s like to choke, and he doesn’t want you sputtering on his cock in the name of pleasuring him. 
When you try to deep throat him a third time, Mark simply pulls you off of him. He’s struck by the view of a string of saliva keeping you connected to his cock, and the way you look up at him in a confused daze has his heart thundering in his chest.
“Enough of that,” Mark says softly. “Let me take care of you.”
He reaches down, gently taking your hands so he can help you to your feet. 
“Bedroom?” he suggests.
You nod, swallowing thickly and wiping at your mouth, then you dart off. You’re awfully agile for a drunk girl, and Mark smiles to himself before following you. By the time he’s made it to the bedroom, you’ve already stripped.
You’re sitting on the bed, grinning at him with a hint of mischief in your eye.
“Take advantage of me, Mark,” you say as he pulls off his shirt.
“Jesus,” Mark whispers. “I hate to say it, but that line is not enticing at all.”
He’s still kind of questioning if this is a good idea, but at the same time, you’ve already fucked on multiple occasions. He knows you want him sober, and especially - it appears - while drunk. 
“Come on, please?” You pout out your lower lip.
Mark slips out of his jeans, joining you on the bed. You wrap your arms around the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss while your legs encircle his hips.
As his cock slips past your core, Mark is shocked at how wet you already are. Booze has really done a number on you, but neither of you are complaining.
“You sure you want this?” he asks.
“Don’t make me beg,” you laugh, “Cuz I will.”
“No, it’s okay,” Mark swallows the lump in his throat. “Just checking.”
Before he can reach for his cock, you beat him to it, grabbing the base and lining his tip up with your entrance. “Fuck me, Mark, I’m begging for it.”
He presses his lips hard against your own as he pushes into your wet hole, both of you groaning loudly at the feeling. 
“Shit,” you whimper, breaking the kiss to look up at him, “I’m so sensitive today-”
“Alcohol does that sometimes,” Mark notes, bringing up a hand to cup your breast. When his fingers pinch your nipple, you let out a high pitched squeal, pushing your chest up toward his palm. 
“Fuck, Mark-” Your pussy clenches tight around him, and the feeling makes Mark dizzy. 
“You sound so good, Sunshine, and you’re gripping me so fucking hard-” Mark begins to fuck into you. Your nails claw at his arms, your head thrown back, eyes closed.
Mark reaches down to rub your clit. You shudder below him, legs tightening around his hips. “Fuck, fuck, fuck-” you moan loudly. “Just like that-”
He applies more pressure to your sensitive bud, making your hips buck toward him, your core clenching him in a death grip. 
“If you keep squeezing me like this, I’m not going to last long-” he warns you, tension building in the base of his cock.
“I want you to cum,” you insist, opening your eyes to look at him.
“Don’t you want to try and get there too?” he asks. 
“I don’t-” you swallow thickly, “I don’t think I’ll be able to.”
“Let me fuck you a little longer, yeah?” Mark prompts. “I can wait a bit. Actually, we should switch positions.”
“To what?”
“Can you get on your knees for me?” he asks.
“Yeah,” you nod quickly. As soon as Mark pulls away, you’re flipping over, pushing your ass into the air for him.
“Fuck, what a view,” he breathes, hands smoothing across your bum. 
You whimper, and the sound encourages Mark to slip himself into you again. The sigh of relief that leaves you has Mark’s skin tingling, his grip finding your hips. 
“It’s so deep,” you groan, tangling your fingers in the sheets.
You’re right about that- your wet pussy is taking every inch Mark has, and each smack of his hips against your ass has you getting even wetter. He’s pretty sure you’re dripping down your thighs at this point, and his fingers dig into your skin even harder.
The sounds you’re making are like music to his ears. Your grip on his cock is insane. Mark’s pretty sure tonight is going to be the night that you cum- but as he continues fucking you, it becomes more and more clear that only one of you is going to get there- and fast. 
“Fuck,” Mark grunts, his heart racing in his chest as he picks up the pace of his thrusts. 
“Cum in me,” you insist, reaching behind yourself.
Mark grabs your hand, lacing your fingers and holding you against the small of your back.
“You really want me to cum?” he asks, breathless.
“Please,” you nod, squeezing his hand. “Wanna be full.”
Again, Mark can’t say no to you.
“Okay, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he whispers, fucking you even harder. “Shit-” 
His orgasm hits straight on, tingling through his entire body like an electric jolt. He pushes his cock into you as deep as it can go, feeling it throb as he coats your walls in cum. Mark throws his head back, eyes closed, overcome by the pleasure that courses through him.
He’s not the type that can fuck someone through his high. When he cums, he has to stop, has to experience the feeling in full. His mind goes completely blank…
But his first thought when the words come back is that he should tell you he loves you.
Fuck. This is becoming a problem. 
Every time he cums deep inside of you, his feelings grow. He’s overwhelmed with this sense that you’re meant to be, that he should just lock you down and let you know how much you mean to him.
But as always, that logical side rears its head, reminding Mark that it’s only been a few weeks of seeing each other. He needs to take things slow- for your sake. He doesn’t want to scare you away. Being a safe space for you includes watching his tongue, it means not putting pressure on you like this- 
If there’s one thing that will pressure you, it’s the admittance that he’s kind of in love with you.
Instead of saying what’s on the tip of his tongue, Mark pulls out of you. He gets you a tissue for the cum that begins to drip out of your pussy, and a cup of water to make sure you’re hydrated. Once you’ve both cleaned up in the bathroom, he cuddles you close to his chest, stroking your back and listening to you breathe.
To Mark’s complete shock, you fall asleep on him within minutes. 
It’s a sign that you’re truly feeling safe with him, and Mark thinks he must be going in the right direction. He’s careful not to wake you up, he simply enjoys the feeling of holding you close while you rest.
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Fourteen
You wake up slowly, cuddling closer to the warmth next to you. It takes you a moment to realize that the heat is coming from Mark, and you open your eyes to stare at him.
“Morning,” Mark grins, putting down his phone to watch you. “Sleep well?”
“Shockingly well,” you grin, snuggling closer. “You?”
“I like sleeping next to you,” Mark muses, wrapping his arms around you. “You know, I was thinking I could make you breakfast or something. Neither of us have work today.”
“Breakfast?” You perk up.
“Yeah, I can cook most breakfast or brunch foods, but uh… don’t ask me to make eggs.”
“Eggs?” You raise your brows, looking at him with a laugh.
“I know, it’s stupid cuz I’m literally a line chef, but I never went to school for it, remember?” Mark grins, stroking your skin. “John tried to teach me during brunch last week but I just- don’t have the patience for eggs.”
“Poor John, hired a chef who can’t cook eggs,” you tease. “Are you sure you don’t want something else for breakfast?”
“Like what?”
“Like… me?” 
Mark laughs. “As much as I’d love to fuck you today, I feel like- maybe it would be nice to not sleep together this morning... You know this isn’t just sex for me, right?”
“Yeah, but… sex is nice, isn’t it?”
Mark strokes your cheek, meeting your eyes. “Sex with you is always nice, but I think I kind of want to be domestic with you today instead, if that’s okay.”
Your heart clenches in your chest at his words. You can’t help but lean forward and kiss him gently. “That’s okay with me.”
“Good,” Mark grins. “Let's cuddle some more, and when you get hungry, I’ll take care of the food.”
As you slowly wake up next to Mark, you’re struck by how comfortable you are. Being with him like this feels natural. There’s no pressure to fuck, no need to suck dick in order to earn affection- Mark simply cares about you, and it’s clear in the way he holds you.
If you’re not careful, you could get used to this.
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Fifteen
Since the ‘Christmas’ party, Mark’s been wanting to broach the subject of Jaehyun with you, but in the handful of times he’s slept over with you since then, it’s just never come up.
Today, watching Jaehyun talk with you by the bar, the question is fresh on Mark’s mind, and he only has one person he can justifiably ask about it.
“So… how close are Jae and y/n?”
“Hmm?” Hyuck looks up from the burger he’s stacking. “Oh, those two? Pretty close.”
Mark groans at the lack of detail. “Did they ever date?”
“I think she’s definitely his work crush. Pretty sure he’s asked her out a few times, but I don’t know if she realized it was a date sort of thing.” Hyuck laughs to himself. “I actually walked in on him asking her out around Halloween, but I think she thought it was a group idea. She rejected him though.”
“Looks like he hasn’t taken the hint,” Mark says, mouth forming a firm line.
“Nah, Jae has a pretty big ego. I mean, you’ve seen his face. He’s not used to rejection, it doesn’t compute for him.”
Mark doesn’t say anything, he simply goes back to the alfredo he’s cooking. But it becomes clear that Hyuck doesn’t want to let this go.
“You’re jealous, aren’t you, Marky boy?”
“No.”
“Yes, you totally are,” Hyuck grins. “How long have you and Sunshine been seeing each other now?”
“Like… three weeks? A month almost?”
“Have you talked about being exclusive or anything?”
“Not really.”
Hyuck rolls his eyes. “It’s a yes or a no, Mark. There’s no ‘not really,’ when it comes to ‘the talk.’”
“No, we haven’t talked about it,” Mark admits with a sigh.
“Sounds like something you want though, right?” Hyuck presses.
“I thought I said I wasn’t going to talk to you about this anymore.”
“You’re the one who brought up Jae,” Hyuck points out, raising his hands in mock defense. 
Mark supposes Hyuck is right about that. He’s been considering defining the relationship recently- thinking about how a label could offer you safety, stability, things that are needed to help you relax. 
But now, the label transcends the use for comfortability and cumming, it almost feels needed.
You’re hot. Mark knows that. He sees the way people hit on you every day while you’re working. At first, he’d been okay with it- but now, he thinks maybe he needs something more. Maybe he needs the comfort of knowing that you’re taken, by him. 
He’s not the type to feel insecure, and he’s not even sure that insecurity is the right word for what he’s feeling.
All Mark knows, is that he wants to get to the next level with you, and he’s going to pull up his big boy pants to finally do it.
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Sixteen
You’ve been at home for a few hours, having been cut from work early since it was a slow day, and you’re a little surprised when Mark calls you around dinner time.
“Hey you,” you grin, collapsing onto your bed to give Mark your full focus.
“Whatcha doin?” he asks.
“Just sitting here, was thinking of watching a movie. How about you? Just got off work?”
“Yeah, in a minute, just taking a vape break first. I was thinking maybe you’d let me see you when I’m off?”
“Definitely, you know my door is always open for you. But I should warn you, I have literally nothing in my fridge.”
“That’s okay, I’ll make your favourite and bring takeout,” Mark assures you. “See you in like… half an hour?”
That’s how Mark shows up on your home a short while later. You look him up and down, taking in his work outfit. “Didn’t wanna change after shift?” you grin, holding your door open for him.
“I uh, wanted to see you. Need a shower, so I figured I’d put on my fresh clothes after that.”
“Sounds good, you know that my home is your home. Go shower, I’ll put our food in bowls.” You accept the takeout from Mark, intent on turning to head to the kitchen- only for him to pull you back into an embrace.
“Hi,” he mumbles, kissing the side of your head and nuzzling against your hair.
“Hi,” you grin, turning in his arms to press your lips to his. “Go shower.”
“You got it.”
Mark goes into your bathroom, and a moment later you hear the water begin to run. You take your time in the kitchen. Mark has made himself alfredo, and he’s cooked your favourite rice bowl for you. You smile to yourself while plating the food, loving how domestic things have gotten with Mark.
Part of you is tempted to join Mark in the shower, but you’re not sure if you’re there yet, so you wait patiently for him to finish. This isn’t the first time he’s showered at your place, and you trust he’ll see his designated towel hanging on the hook behind your door. 
You kind of enjoy that he’s gotten so comfortable at your home. You’ve been spending so much time with him here and at work that it feels kind of odd when he’s not around. 
Soon, Mark is coming out of the bathroom. He’s in sweatpants and a tank top that shows off his tattoos. You have to actively stop yourself from drooling as you move to sit at the dinner table.
“So… did you need to talk to me about something?”
“Hmm?” Mark sits across from you.
“We didn’t have plans, you called and wanted to come over, I guess I’m just wondering if you had a specific reason.”
“Can’t I just miss you?” he grins.
Despite his words, it’s clear that there’s more to it, however you drop the issue. When Mark is ready to be real with you, he will be. You have time until then.
Mark begins to talk about work, how it had gotten busy after you’d left. You listen, happy to chat with him while you eat. 
After food, the two of you move to the couch, cuddling up while Netflix starts.
You’re two seasons into your anime already, it’s funny how time flies. You can turn your brain off when Mark spoons you, his lips pressing soft kisses to your shoulder every now and again.
One episode in, Mark reaches over you for the remote, pausing your show. 
“I guess there is a reason I wanted to come over,” he admits finally.
“Yeah?” You turn onto your back, looking up at him. 
“I hate to say that I’ve been jealous, but uh… since the Christmas party, I’ve been a little jealous about you and Jaehyun.” Mark won’t meet your eyes, and you give him the space to continue. “I just… people are always hitting on you, and I don’t know, I think… I mean, I’m a serial monogamist according to Hyuck, and I know we haven’t been seeing each other for that long, but I only see you, in all ways, and I just… I don’t want to lock you down if you’re not looking for something serious, but I guess I wanted to know how you feel about exclusivity and that sort of thing.”
“With you? Mark… I’d love to be exclusive.” You let out a small laugh. “Don’t you realize that I have to watch girls flirt with you too? Maybe we’ve both been jealous.  I think… locking each other down would be good for us.”
“Yeah?” Mark’s beaming now.
“You’re special,” you confess. “I’ve never been able to sleep next to a guy I’ve slept with, which feels like such a contradiction- but sleep has always come easy with you. I’ve never felt such a lack of pressure- such acceptance, for all of me, the good and the bad. I like you a lot Mark, and I’m sorry if I didn’t make that clear.”
“It’s not that it wasn’t clear,” Mark assures you, cupping your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. “I just… I know you have that wild side, which is totally valid, I just wasn’t sure you were a settling down type.”
“I wasn’t so sure I was either, and then I met you.”
Mark kisses you instead of responding, but you can feel the emotion in the press of his lips against yours. He’s elated by what you’ve just said, and you’re close to floating to cloud nine too. 
Even so, there’s something else. You can feel it in the slight tension of his shoulders when your fingers brush over his skin.
“Mark?” you break the kiss, blinking at him. “Is there something else on your mind?”
“It’s just… I know I said there’s no pressure, but I really wanna help you cum. And I’ve been thinking maybe… maybe we could use some of your toys.”
“My toys?”
“Like… some girls cum better with a vibrator, and if you have one, I’d love to use it on you.”
“Really?” You’re shocked. Lots of men think their dick is good enough, they feel emasculated to bring sex toys into the mix- but here’s Mark, being as contrarian as ever. 
“Even if it doesn’t help you cum, I still think it would be fun. I’m not trying to pressure you-”
“We can use my vibrator,” you assure him, heart thundering in your rib cage at the mere thought of it. 
No man has ever used a sex toy on you- it’s probably one of the reasons you’ve never cum with a lover before.
“Come on,” you sit up, heading to your bedroom while Mark follows. “I keep my toys in the closet,” you explain, bending down to find the shoe box that stores your vibrator. You pull the device out, showing it to Mark. “Is this going to work?”
“Yeah, it will work.” Mark watches you stand up, and he holds out his hand for you to pass the toy to him. “I’m uh… I’m gonna put this down so I can get you naked.”
“Okay,” you grin.
He sets the vibrator on your bed gently, turning to you. Mark grabs your face first, pulling you in for a kiss. He’s gentler than you thought he would be, but you don’t mind it. You like getting lost in the feeling of Mark, allowing him to guide you toward the bed.
When you reach your mattress, his hands slip down to the hem of your shirt. He carefully removes it, and you lift your arms to help him with the task. Mark doesn’t immediately go for your pants next, he kisses you again instead, cupping your cheek with one hand while the other grabs the small of your back.
His touch is so gentle, smoothing across your skin. It’s making you even more eager, and you find yourself removing his shirt before he begins to work on your sleep shorts. Soon, you’re just in a bra and panties, but even those get taken off. 
When you’re completely bare, Mark gently pushes you down onto your bed, eyes taking in your body.
“You’re so fucking pretty,” he muses.
Your skin heats at the praise, and you begin to close your thighs, only for Mark to gently prompt them open. 
“Don’t hide from me, please,” Mark says softly, getting onto his knees at the foot of your bed. He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your clit before he pushes his tongue into your wet hole.
You breathe a sigh of relief, threading your fingers through his hair. You adjust your thighs on his shoulders, trailing your toes against his well-defined back. 
He eats you out for a little while, groaning as he goes. It’s clear to you now that Mark enjoys getting his fill of you, and it makes the experience ten times more enjoyable for you. You’ve been getting better at slowing your mind while Mark licks at your clit, better at focusing on him and not all the worrying thoughts that generally buzz around you.
You feel the bed shift, and you open your eyes to see Mark has reached for the vibrator. He turns it on, assessing the way the toy shakes on the lowest setting. “Do you wanna show me where to use this, sunshine?” he asks, holding it out to you.
With a deep breath, you nod, accepting the toy and bringing it to your clit. “I like… a good amount of pressure,” you tell him, showing him exactly where you like the vibrator to be held.
It feels kind of odd to be pleasuring yourself like this in front of Mark, but from the way his pupils are blown, eyes fixed completely on your core, you can tell that he’s enjoying the view. It makes you feel more confident, as you begin to drag the vibrator side to side, teasing yourself. 
“This sort of movement is good too,” you tell him.
“Can I take over now?” he asks.
You nod, allowing him to grab the handle of the toy. 
Now that you’re not the one holding it, you can focus completely on the feeling of your clit being vibrated. It feels amazing, your toes curling at the stimulus.
Mark’s free hand is on your inner thigh, smoothing against your skin, but soon, it joins the vibrator. He teases two fingers along your folds before pushing them into you, crooking them up to find the spongey spot that has you crying out.
“You make such pretty sounds,” Mark tells you, applying more pressure to your clit with the vibe. “Fuck, I could watch you like this all night.”
“Puppy-” you whimper, skin tingling at his words.
“You have no idea how good you look,” he continues. “I swear- I want you to cum, but even if you don’t, I’m not going to be able to forget about this. This view is- fuck, it’s the best view in the world. We’re going to be at work and this is all I’ll be thinking about. I won’t be able to get you out of my head.”
With each admittance, each uttered word of praise, you can feel the tension building in the pit of your stomach.
“Can you grind on this a little, sunshine? Grind on my fingers and your toy?”
“Yeah-” you whimper, hips moving as you try to follow with his prompt. 
“That’s it-” Mark groans. “Fuck, you’re so perfect.”
His fingers work harder inside of you, and the added pressure makes you squeal. You can’t help the way one of your arms comes up to cover your face, muffling your sounds as your body moves on it’s own accord now. You’re grinding against his hand, grinding against the vibrator that sends tremors of pleasure through your entire form.
“I’m so fucking lucky,” Mark tells you. “So lucky that you’re mine- I could watch you like this for hours and not get bored.”
“Mark-” you groan. Usually, when you acknowledge an orgasm building, it dissipates, like some cruel trick of fate, a complete defiance of the laws of physics- but this time, when you whimper “I’m close” the feeling doesn't fade, it only builds.
“Yeah?” Mark sounds shocked. “All it took was a vibe, huh?”
“And… and your praise-”
“You like when I talk dirty to you, sunshine?” Mark asks. “Like it when I tell you how perfect and pretty you are?”
“Yes-”
“Are you going to be a good girl and cum for me? Or should I finger fuck this cute little pussy even harder?”
“Oh my God-” you whimper. Mark has truly gotten comfortable with you now- he’s not holding back with his sinful words, and they make your stomach pull into a tight knot. “Please, harder-”
Mark presses the vibrator against your clit, turning up the vibration with his thumb while his fingers continue their brutal pace inside your core.
You find yourself gasping, unable to speak as he works you closer and closer-
“Cumming-” you whisper, your orgasm slamming into you like a train. 
Your breath catches, waves of pleasure surging through you. Your fists grip the sheets, your back arches, your thighs quaking around Mark. Whimpers and moans fill the room, your core pulsating around Mark’s fingers while he works you through your high.
“That’s it,” Mark groans. “That’s my good girl.”
“Puppy-” you breathe, the feeling almost becoming too much for you.
“What do you need, sunshine?”
“Your cock,” you blurt out. 
“Yeah?” Mark’s fingers slow inside your pussy. 
“Please, wanna cum on your cock-”
Mark lets out a breath. “Holy fuck.” He turns the vibrator off, taking his digits from your core. Mark licks them clean before he stands up, pushing down his sweatpants. “Move up the bed for me?” he suggests.
You wiggle up to the pillows, watching Mark get onto the mattress. He allows you to lock your legs around his hips, pulling him close while he crashes his lips to yours.
You tangle your fingers in his hair, kissing him deeply. He ruts his hips, allowing you to feel his cock dragging against your core.
Patience is a virtue, but you don’t have any left. You reach between your bodies, grabbing his hard length to line it up with your pussy. 
Mark slides into you, and you let out an immediate sigh of relief. His fingers had been nice, but his cock is even better. It stretches you open, you can feel him deeper than ever. You gasp against his mouth, dragging him closer as he begins to thrust into you. 
“You feel so good, sunshine,” Mark groans, breaking the kiss so he can press his lips to your throat. 
“Puppy-” you whimper, arching your neck so he has better access to find your sweet spot.
Mark captures your hands, lacing your fingers and pressing you into the bed while he fucks you. 
You can feel him everywhere. You’re completely bewitched by Mark Lee. Your core is practically dripping, each thrust made easy by the wet that exudes out of you. 
Then Mark is reaching for your vibrator. He sits up slightly, looking down at you. “Missionary? Or maybe doggy would be better?”
“I wanna see you when I cum again,” you tell him, accepting the vibrator he holds out to you. “Want you to see me cum with your cock in my pussy.”
Mark lets out a low groan, pressing his lips to yours as you turn on the toy, adjusting it onto your clit.
“If you can’t cum, that’s okay-”
“I think I’ll cum,” you assure him. “Just fuck me hard, and I’ll get there.”
“I can do that,” Mark grins, immediately picking up his pace and adding more power to his thrusts.
“And… tell me I’m pretty again?”
“Fuck, you’re so pretty,” Mark groans. “I’m so fucking lucky- how did I ever get this lucky?”
“Puppy-”
“You have no idea how into you I am- I love your sounds, love your voice- love the face you make when you feel good- love your smile-”
Each admittance has your heart buzzing in your chest. It’s crazy how easy it is for him to praise you- it almost feels like all these things were built up inside, like he’s a dam that’s just been released, and God, you love the flood.
You press the vibrator harder against your clit, entire body surging with energy. 
“You’re squeezing me so well, baby,” Mark groans, and the sound has your pussy throbbing. “Want you to cum with me so bad, do you think you can cum with me?”
“Yeah, just- kiss me?” you suggest.
Mark presses his lips to yours immediately, cupping your face with one hand. His tongue glides against your own. You eat up each other's sounds, getting completely lost in each other.
In no time at all, another orgasm is building in the pit of your stomach. 
“I’m gonna-” you whimper against his lips.
Mark fucks you even harder in response, and the motion is dizzying. 
“Please, sunshine, cum with me- fuck, I can’t hold it, cum with me-”
His words are your last straw as you explode on his cock. Your core clamps down hard, gasps of extacy escaping you.
To Mark’s credit, he holds off his own high long enough to fuck you through yours, and the moment you begin to be oversitmulated, he cums too. You can feel his cock throbbing in your pussy, his load spilling along your insides and coating your walls.
You kiss him deeply, enjoying his whimpers of pleasure.
You’ve never cum with someone balls deep inside of you before, and there’s a voice in the back of your mind itching for you to tell Mark that you love him- but you bite your tongue. You simply kiss him, holding him close while he finishes.
Finally, Mark lets out a small gasp, pulling away from your lips. His forehead presses against yours, and you’re both breathing heavily.
You’ve never felt this connected to someone in your entire life.
“Are you going to get us tissues?” you ask after a moment, letting out a small laugh.
Mark chuckles, pressing his lips against yours in a chaste kiss. “I just wanna enjoy you a second longer.”
“Puppy, you have literally all the time in the world.”
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☀️ mlist + an. Thank you so much for reading! I really wanted to kick the year off with something more realistic. I wanted to write about a reader who over thinks, who doesn’t cum super easily like we usually see in fanfic. I wanted to touch on the realism of relationships, the use of sex toys, things discussed in the bonus like whiskey dick, domestic showers together and troubles sleeping next to someone new- I really hope you guys liked this even though it’s not as classic fanfic as I usually write :) 
🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below! 
🔮 preview. “I drank too much,” Mark admits. “Hyuck kept egging me on- I’m pretty sure he wanted to get me blackout so I couldn’t fuck you tonight- But I swear- whisky dick won’t last all night,” Mark tells you. “And, I mean, you know I love using your toys so it doesn’t even matter.” He’s adorable. Of course Hyuck wouldn’t take into account that sometimes Mark is perfectly happy making you cum with your toys and not fucking you at all. Mark truly is a man built for your pleasure, and you’re not surprised that ‘whiskey dick’ hasn’t phased him.
cw/ tw. drunk!Mark, shower shenanigans, fingering, pussy eating, use of toys/g spot stimulator, Mark has ‘whiskey dick’ and can’t get hard at first, unprotected sex, praise, dirty talk, munch!Mark, creampie/fullness kink, etc…  I petnames. (hers) sunshine. (his) puppy.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.3k I teaser wc. 250
🌙 starring. Mark x afab!Reader
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bonus
“Puppy?” You sit up in bed, holding your phone close. Mark’s at some boys night thing, and you really hadn’t expected to hear from him, but here he is, calling you at midnight.
“Hi, Sunshine.” 
“Hi Sunshine!” Someone else screams in the background.
“Oh my god, fuck off, Hyuck!” Mark yells back. “Not you, baby, I’m talking to Hyuck.”
“Yeah,” you laughed, “I gathered that.”
You’ve also gathered that your boyfriend is drunk. You can hear it in his voice, and when he begins to hiccup, it’s even more evident.
“So uh, I wanna see you.”
“You can see me tomorrow, we have dinner plans, right?”
“No, I wanna see you tonight and tomorrow,” Mark insists. 
“You do, huh?” God, he’s adorable.
“Yes, please.”
“Don’t you want to finish boys night?” you prompt, not wanting to get in the way of his time with friends. You know Jeno would get mad about Mark spending time with his ex instead of his boys, and you don’t want to be that girlfriend who restricts her lover from his bros.
“Nah, fuck this,” Mark says. “Jeno went home with a girl, it’s just me and Hyuck and Renjun and Chenle and Jaemin and Jisung-” Sweet Jesus, he’s listing half of your work staff. “But I wanna be with you. I can call a cab and be at your place in like, fifteen minutes?”
“Whatever you want, puppy,” you grin. “I’ll be here.”
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riizebabie444 · 5 months ago
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𝙨𝙚𝙭𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜 ♥️
hey all, sorry for not posting for so long, here is one of the requested pac's. this reading is about the attractive and sexy things about you that you don't realise. there are two parts, general and from your person's pov. hope you enjoy!
picking your pile: take a deep breath and allow your soul to centre itself. when you feel your mind balanced and cleared, allow yourself to be drawn to an image.
be sure to check out my other readings and don’t forget to share and give feedback. disclaimer: all readings done are for entertainment or guidance only. please do not use my tarot readings as a replacement for legitimate advice.
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♥️ ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.
donations. games/events. feedback.
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pile one
in general, the sexy things you do without knowing are represented by eight of pentacles, eight of wands rv and death. with two eights here, i'm seeing your body type could be a major cause of your sexiness. it could be your chest or your booty, maybe you have curves or an obvious hourglass or pear figure. there are definitely parts of your body that people notice and find sexy. it could also be your eyes too, your eyes are sensual without you realising.
i think you have an air of mystery around you, you are private and don't like to show everything to the world in the way some other people do. it could be your body, your style, your business, even your plans for the weekend. but this privacy you have for yourself makes you seem like an enigma to others. people find the mystery sexy because then you leave it up to them to think what you are really like. mystery is just sexy anyway, so it doesn't need a lot of explaining.
furthermore, i see you being labelled as "hard to get" some may joke about you playing hard to get. maybe you're not even playing, you're just plainly not interested but others will still thank that way, that you are not easy. maybe you do it on purpose, maybe you don't i get i a mix here. but overall, others think it is hard work to get close to you whether romantically, sexually or platonically. you intimidate others with your no bullshit attitude and they find that attractive. what is rare is sought after. so many people will think you are "sexier" because there is a limited number of people you will allow your time and energy towards.
for your person, what they find sexy about you is your brightness and optimism. it is weird to describe traits like that in a "sexy" way however, i do see this. the person you are thinking of finds it so attractive how bright you are, how so many people look towards you when you don't realise. like you're nonchalant or unbothered by the attention. your confidence is also so sexy, your bravery in standing for what you believe and finding success chasing your dreams. you don't let things stand in your way.
this person really loves your back, they find it so sexy. i think you may actually be insecure about your back or just think it is not sexy, but trust me your person loves your back so much. they love your arms. they love when you are topless. they love when you wear dresses and skirts. they love when you love down at them, they get really turned on. i also think if you wear cute, coquette frilly and lace style of clothes/details on your clothes, they find it sexy. like cute lingerie or clothes in general. even floral, they find it so hot even though it's just your style preference. if not, then they want you to wear more of it because it is so sexy to them.
pile two
i think sometimes the clothes you wear and the way you hold yourself is sexy to others. it might be normal to you, you just wear what you want to wear. but some people might find it a little sexy even if you don't intend it that way. and the way you carry yourself, i see a lot of confidence here. good posture, the way you sit, particularly the way you lean down is very sexy. like say you dropped something and bent down to get it, it is quite sexy if someone saw it they wouldn't be able to stop thinking about the image. i'm seeing bending down and your hair falling or moving in that direction, like something out of a movie. but then when you fix your hair after standing back up, that is also sexy.
i think your hands are also sexy which you might not realise. people might like seeing you hold something because there is something about the way you hold things, your hands and fingers look so graceful and sexy. i see you might also be a bit clumsy, i'm seeing stars in your eyes or little stars spinning around your head. you could be a clumsy person, doing or saying silly things. in a way, this is sexy to others because they see you as a cute little, bright eyed, starry eyed thing. i get a hint of corruption here, people find it so sexy because you seem innocent and sweet but they're having different thoughts.
i see others may think you'd make a good mother or parent in general. you are seen as wife material. not the type to have a casual fling with. someone to settle down with. this is sexy because they think of having a family, how you would be as a mother. because of this, you might attract people who have breeding kinks. this message is random but yeah, the people who think you'd make a good wife and mother (or father/parent) would find you sexy because they want to breed you.
for your person, who you are thinking of, they will love your shoulders and collarbone. like i'm seeing someone kissing their a lot. they would love when you wear strapless tops or dresses. they also find it sexy when you wear gloves. the way you style your hair is sexy. again, i see when you hold things in your hand, with your person you might be holding something more particular if you get my drift, they find it sexy.
this is an odd one to look out for but i'm seeing that they find it sexy when you are emotional and crying. definitely be careful for people who are just trying to manipulate you, but i'm seeing this in a way that they like when you cry during sexy times or when you have emotional sex. for this person, emotions are a big turn on so sometimes even when you're being genuine with emotions, they can get excited by it because it is somehow sexy to them.
pile three
hey pile three. the sexy things you do without realising are represented by the hermit, justice and two of cups rv. with the hermit, i see that you have a sort of lone wolf vibe. you may have lots of friends or maybe not a lot but either way you look confident even when you are by yourself. people look at you and see that you don't need to be surrounded by people to feel confident. they think you are confident without people. you don't need anyone else to fill your inner life because you make it rich enough already. i think you also take things at your own pace, you don't conform to things easily. i'm seeing a scenario where most people are easily influenced by things they see in the internet on tiktok, but you are not so influenced. you won't follow trends for the sake of following trends but rather you'll follow things if they suit you. so people would think it is attractive because in an age where everyone thinks the same because we all consume the same, you stand out and can think for yourself. a lone wolf and smart is how i'm seeing you and it is attractive to others.
with justice, it is similar to what i previously said, you are strong in your beliefs and the things you follow. you don't believe things just because others believe it. you have your convictions. you are truthful and upright in your own regard. you judge others fairly. i think some may think you are a bit stuck up in this sense, because you stand out from fitting in with others. but i see that some still find this sexy, even those who don't like it. like, i see them thinking "i wish i was like pile three" or "i want to be with someone like pile three" but at the same time they will say "pile three is judgemental and stuck up". but still people find this attractive. there is nothing sexier than a person who knows themselves and believes themselves.
lastly, the things you don't realise are sexy, i see you personal style. i think when you wear formal attire or you dress up for an occasion, people love it! they find it so surprising and sexy for some reason. dressed smart but flashy. also, wearing high contrast colours or outfits with contrasting components makes you look sexy. in terms of your style, when you pair two colours together, it looks really good and others will think positively of your style. honestly i think again the way you are out of sync with others makes you unknowingly sexy. it's giving hot aquarius vibes, don't conform to society, doesn't think like everyone else. i also see that your shoulders and even collarbone, as well as your forearms are the physical parts fo you that people would find sexy.
for your person, what they find sexy is represented by three of wands, queen of swords rv and the artist. the way you are in control of your life and your future makes others feel proud but also scared of you, if that makes sense. and it makes them more attracted to you. for example, they would think you can sustain yourself without them and it scares them because they don't want to be without you but at the same time your power and confidence is sexy. also, your passions to travel and learn continuously comes up.
okay i'm seeing that you may have a no bullshit attitude, however, sometimes it can come off as a lack of empathy for others. whether true or not, what your person finds sexy is how you are the opposite with them. how you can trust and be soft with them and how you will confront your flaws and work on yourself as a part of your journey. and i think it is perceived as sexy because not a lot of people can do this honestly. and even when you do, it is difficult but you don't sugarcoat it. the power and the confidence and the creativity you have makes them so attracted to you and you would never think that they find it an appealing aspect of yourself.
pile four
i'm going to start with your persons perspective pile four because i'm relly excited by what they have to say. you are literally marriage material to them, or at least "i want to spend the rest of my life with them" and they find it so darn sext pile four! they love the joy and victory you bring into their life, as well as the simplicities, the domesticity. they see a beautiful and bright future with you. and i also lowkey see like the sweet forbidden fruit, so maybe you and this person aren't supposed to be together or you don't expect it and it makes the connection a bit more tense but exciting. it brings that spiciness, they aren't suppose to have you but they still want you and believe you will have a future together and that's hot to them.
i see you hands, when you're holding something long if you get my drift. your person would love it if when you giving them some hand action, it goes both ways but i'm mainly seeing the hand holding a stick so you're either playing with them or yourself. again, goes both ways. it could also be just holding random things, they find your hands so pretty so you could be holding the tv remote and they'll think it's sexy. you mind is stimulating also, you and your person could be people who need intellectual stimulation rather than physical and visual alone. your mind is like a maze they want to get lost in, they get turned on by your witty remarks and banter especially when flirting, they just want to kiss your face off.
and lastly, i see that your peaceful aura is so attractive to them. one wouldn't think calm and cosy vibes is a sexy thing to to your person and many others, peace and comfort is a turn on. you stay away from drama. like sure, everyone loves a bit of drama but i mean this in the sense that you aren't actively involved in drama, nor the cause of it, and can easily distance yourself from drama caused by other people. they love seeing you overcome things, and this makes you attractive to them because it furthers the agenda that you are the person they want to spend their future with, someone who is peaceful and warm.
now for the things in general that you do not realise are sexy. i see hands again. so not only your person, but others in general find that you have pretty nice hands. when you're holding things. i'm seeing the curve of your hand or your arm, the same and size can be a turn on for some. it could also represent the way you create opportunities for yourself. i see that you also look or act rich. whether you are rich or not doesn't matter, just the way you hold yourself, like you come from a good background. definitely a desirable feature that makes you sexier.
i think some of you may have had a glow up or your looks significantly changed. could also just be something as simple as your clothing style or hair colour that changed. this change in your appearance makes you sexier. it may not seem much to you, like say you just changed your hair colour. but others, especially the opposite sex or desired sex, find you more sexy after the change. i think you may not go out a lot, like hanging out with friends or attending parties. maybe it is not you thing. but when you do go out, everyone is excited to see you. like, you are rare to others, so people find it mysterious and kind of cherished. it makes you more desired. you may think "oh im so lonely and boring" but others are like "when will pile four hang out with us? i really want to see them" and lastly, i see the trust you have in yourself and the world or god, you seem so content and peaceful pile four and it makes you so sexy and desirable.
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ivesambrose · 4 months ago
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PAC : YOUR AUTUMN BLESSINGS 🍁
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1. 2. 3.
May the remaining months of 2024 lead to a favorable plot twist for all of you reading this 🖤
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Picture 1
• A lot of you will be blessed with foreign travel to a destination that heals this restlessness in your heart. It seems as though you had been fighting against the odds for so long and have also accumulated so much mental strain and grief because you've felt like you couldn't grow where you're at and you're right. You're going to feel the most alive you've felt in a long time. Don't turn down the opportunities that come your way. • Unexpected wealth or income from an unknown or foreign source. • Venturing out of your home or comfort zone. A change in perspective as well. • The sun rising after the darkest hours of your life. It's amusing that it's happening during fall when things usually wither away that you're getting your color back. You may feel like you're Venturing out alone or that your journey is a solitary one. You aren't too bothered because you're so used to it even as it terrifies you. But along the way you'll find people who want to walk beside you even as the cold threatens to sink into your bones. You might just find your soul family this fall. Perhaps home isn't confined to four walls but rather, the people and the places you've yet to step foot into.
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• You'll be blessed with finding a balance in your life that earlier was bound to topple over no matter what you did and how hard you tried. You'll confront certain habits and behaviours that you have and actively choose to work through them. Some of them have been hindering your growth and costing you your own peace of mind as well as relationships. • Improvement in health. As well as recognition and reward in your workplace or emotional fulfillment via the work you do or your lifestyle changes. • Heightened intuition and foresight. Trust your instincts over fear mongering from others. • Possible expansion in social circle or connecting with people you can learn from without being ridiculed. You'll be introduced to people or spaces with a more positive outlook to life and circumstances rather than the ones who have a cynical approach to everything. • A better self concept and increase in confidence. Do not allow anyone to walk over you or be little you in any shape or form. • you may also get the confidence or the money to shop for certain fashion items you had earlier been stalling on or might be gifted the same.
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• You'll be blessed with something rather abrupt. You may not even consider it as a blessing at first till realisation dawns on you. • I significantly see a blessing that's financial in nature something that will aid you in the long term. You might be too fixated at things going wrong at first. Please don't do that. When the opportunity arrives please have the courage to reach for it and make it yours. You may have the tendency to worry to the point that anything good happening for you is too good to be true. Thing is you tend to be blessed in rather unconventional ways. Certain things you may have quiet literally looked over for months or years. This autumn take some time to reflect on certain aspects of your life and how regardless of what was going wrong or what wasn't 'working out' for you had been in your favor all along. The more you bring in your awareness to that the more of these blessings you'll receive. • A lot of you do struggle with mental health as well as sleep issues. You're rather artistic however but may have kept your arts and crafts aside for a long time. You'll be revisiting things that have brought you joy in the past and feel happy this time instead of feeling performative. • Lastly, allow good things to happen to you.
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freshxsturniolo · 5 months ago
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4th July - FINAL PART - chris sturniolo x reader
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life with chris had been a bundle of joy, as you knew it would be. his energy had only projected onto you and it was hard to not match his energetic and talkative self every time you were around him, which was admittedly a lot. your little happy bubble since he asked you to be his girlfriend a couple of weeks ago had only bought out a side to you both that you didn't even know was there.
you had spent everyday with him since, even though the two of you had busy schedules you made sure to slot in time for each other each day. you had also become insanely close with nick and matt, which was everything to you. you could roll up to their house whilst chris was busy with meetings and sit and chat to the both of them for hours, or you'd happily pull matt out for coffee in a morning when chris was still sleeping.
you felt your relationship growing stronger, everything around you both aligning.
as you sit on madisons sofa now, curled up against chris' side with music on in the background as everyone around you chats about everything and anything, you can't help but feel a surge of emotions you'd never felt before. you didn't want to say you loved chris, your relationship was fresh and you were aware that at any moment it could go the opposite direction, but there was definitely something there, bursting to come out.
when you had arrived at madisons house, she had opened the door and greeted you with open arms before she grabbed your hand and pulled you out into the garden where the three triplets where, with some other of madisons family and friends.
"its so lovely to meet you, i've heard so much about you over the past couple of weeks" madison had winked, and you had rolled your eyes before blushing slightly.
"he is a yapper" you laughed, playing it off cool whilst deep down your stomach was doing somersaults.
the minute chris had seen you, he had come running over. scooping you up in his arms and lifting your feet off the floor. you heard madison giggle at the side of you, and a whooping hallow from either matt or nick, but you had ignored it all as your wrapped your arms around chris' neck, giggling in his ear as his arms wrapped tightly around you. when he put you back down, he didn't waste no time before he planted a strong kiss on your lips.
"you came" he smiled.
you side eyed madison. "for madison" you said, and she had laughed at the side of you.
"put her down lover boy" madison had said, walking over and taking your hand. "shes mine for the evening"
and so you had been. you had played with her dogs, utterly and blissfully in love with them, whilst madison showed you around her house before the two of you grabbed drinks and sat by her pool. it was another warm day in LA and the sun shone down on all of you, the triplets playing in the pool like little kids.
"so," madison had said when your conversation had died slightly, and you looked towards her with a smile. "you and chris, huh?" she winked, which made you life as you changed your position so you could fully watch him in the pool. he was balanced on nicks shoulders, trying to keep upright whilst dunking nicks head into the water, a muffle of screams coming from them both. you laughed as you watched them both before turning back to madison.
"i feel like we are an extremely unlikely pair, but it just works." you smiled, and madison smiled in agreement.
"you are both so sweet, the love you have for each other is so evident"
your heart stops for a second, and madisons eyes widen when she realises what shes said. "oh my god, im so sorry. i didnt mean to get ahead of myself."
but you laughed. "its totally fine. its still early days but i defiantly feel something for him i dont think i ever have for anyone else."
she smiles now and looks over at the three triplets. "keep hold of that feeling, babe."
and when you turn to look at them to, chris is leaning against the side of the pool, his eyes firmly on you, and when he sees you looking he gives you the warmest smile. a smile you had never seen before, but a smile you could get used to.
so when you're lay against his side some hours later, listening to everyone around you chatter, and he taps your shoulder to pull you outside, you suddenly feel sick.
"are you okay?" you ask, and he laughs, wrapping his fingers around yours as he walks towards the kitchen, before pulling you outside into the evening air. the sun is setting, a perfect glow illuminating madisons garden, and sits down on an empty chair, before pulling you to sit on his lap.
"chris" you giggle as you practically fall down on top of him, before you reposition yourself so you're sitting comfortable. one of his hands around your waist as the other lays against your thigh.
you wrap your arms around his neck, leaning back slightly so you ca see him properly. his hair has curled more than you've ever seen it before from the chlorine in the pool, still slightly wet on the ends, and he looks blissfully tired. dark rims under his eyes, but equally he looks the most beautiful you've ever seen him.
"oh god, are you breaking up with me?" you suddenly say, and he rolls his eyes before leaning forward and planting a kiss on your lips.
"no, pretty girl."
pretty girl. you don't think you'll ever get over the pet name.
"oh, thank god." you chuckle, and he squeezes your thigh.
"i want to ask you something" he says, and suddenly he looks really nervous. looking down at your legs so he can avoid your eye contact. the gesture puts your heart in your throat.
"whats wrong?"
he looks up now and smiles. that same smile from earlier.
"you know how we fly to boston in a few days for our birthday?" he asks, and you smile.
"yes?"
"well, - and i've already spoke to matt and nick because i know you'll tell me you don't want to intrude, and i also know its taras birthday too, so im not expecting you to say yes, but, i wondered if you wanted to come with us?"
your stomach does somersaults. "chris-"
"if you dont want to its fine but, i just checked a minute ago and theres still spaces on the flight, and just ... i want you there."
your speechless for a second, and you can see him searching your face for an answer.
"matt and nick-"
he rolls his eyes jokingly. "they love you, babe. and -"
but he stops himself, looking down at your legs again.
your hearts about to damn near stop.
"and what?"
he looks up at you, the sun bouncing off his face. "watching you with madison earlier. fitting so perfectly with our friends. not being jealous or acting weird that we're friends with her. and, fuck i know its early, but i might just be in love with you. and you don't have to say that back. but i think i am. and i want you to meet my friends at home. i want you to meet nathan. i want you to meet my brother justin, and i want you to meet my mom and dad. they'll love you too and ... just. yeah."
you could cry. you could seriously cry. and as you look over his face, you know your feelings match. you know madisons words earlier are true.
so you say it, its almost a whisper but you say it. "i think i love you too."
his eyes widen, he searches your entire face before his hand leaves your thigh and comes to your cheek. "are you serious?"
and you laugh. "im so serious, chris. i'd love to come to boston."
"oh you're fucking perfect. you're actually perfect"
and then he kisses you. soft, gentle, but with all the passion in the world.
and everything in that moment just felt so perfect. everything in that moment was perfect.
you were completely and utterly in love with chris sturniolo, and you wanted the whole world to know it.
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cupidlovesastro · 1 year ago
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𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒚 𝒔𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒓𝒈𝒖𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 + 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒈𝒖𝒆
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aries- there could be a lot of anger when people with this placement argues, even if they're not angry, they sound angry. when you express your frustrations through words, you could be very confrontational. also, there could be many cuss words lol. another thing i can see with someone with this placement is that they can catch an attitude pretty easily. they're also very quick with responses and comebacks. they could be the type to lead the argument and also being impulsive with their words. sometimes this can really hurt others or you, by damaging relationships with your words. you may also make decisions on a whim
taurus- you could start off calm, then gradually get more aggressive. these individuals may not worry about getting the last word, or being the most argumentative, but they care about being truthful. they also could speak slower, regardless of wether they’re arguing or not. they take their time with what they’re saying, and the need a minute to process their thoughts. also, even if they are really understanding of what you’re saying, they could come off as stubborn. when they stating their point, they could just seem like they are not listening even when they are. they also can make better listeners than speakers, but it’s hard to make them change their mind
gemini- when these individuals argue they could use smarter words or bigger words to prove their point. they could also take it very unserious lol. they may not necessarily find the argument funny, but they try to be lighthearted. also, they are quick with their words and thought process. they bounce off words very easily, and they often have a lot to say. they want to argue with logic, not their emotions, and they’re going to tell you the logical side of things. they may be a little childish about things, or not take it as seriously as you would hope, and their words could also be persuasive
cancer- there could definitely be a lot of emotions behind what they say, and everything they say may not be logical. their way with words could definitely persuade you though. when they argue, they could get emotional, or at least sound like they are getting emotional. there could also be points that they forget to mention because they left it in their subconscious mind. it’s hard for them to make decisions without it being emotion based. also, they could come off as emotionally manipulative, even if they’re not trying to be. they are good at expressing empathy and sympathy though
leo- there’s a lot of passion when these people argue. they can have a naturally loud voice, but when they are arguing it can definitely get louder. also they can take control of the argument, like they’re the one who’s controlling which way the argument goes if that makes sense. they can also be quite bold with what they say, wether is be bold in the sense that you never expected them to say that or bold as in they are confrontational. they could also have a lot of emotion in their voice, and a powerful voice at that.
virgo- these individuals want to argue with logic and logic only. they don’t really care to get into the emotional side, maybe after the argument is done, but not during. they have an organized way of bringing up information as well. for example, if the argument is about multiple things that bother them, they might go through the list in chronological order, instead of just saying anything. i could also see that these individuals may ramble. their voice could also be nonchalant, even if they aren’t feeling nonchalant. these people could also really not enjoy arguing, but they will if they have to
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libra- these people want the argument to be balanced, and lead to peace. they don’t want to argue or start conflict, without there being some kind of resolution. they want to be heard just as much as they would like to listen to the other side of the argument. their voice could be in a calm tone, and they could also have a lot to say. they might even try to charm their way out of the issue lol. i can also see that some people with this placement might have a difficult time seeing another persons point of view if they have other placements that could influence that.
scorpio- their words could hold a lot of meaning to you, like their words could make or break someone if that makes sense. when these people argue it can get destructive fast. they can go from being fine to saying words that cut deep. these individuals may not say everything that’s on their mind and they could honestly keep a lot of things to their self, but when they snap, they can snap hard. i could also see that, people with this placement could get emotional, maybe not easily or maybe they won’t express it at first, but they feel things deep. also, they may know exactly what your going to say next because they’re readers, like body linguistics lol. they’re also intuitive and they will be very hurt or upset if you lie to them
sagittarius- talk about the king/queen of arguing. they literally represent the higher mind, law, debate, education, learning, etc. they are bringing facts and nothing but facts. it’s hard to change a sagittarius mercury’s mind once it’s been made. they could get very passionate and start talking boldly and loudly which can make them come off angrily, although they may not be. they could also be impulsive with the things they do or say. they are also optimistic people, they could take arguments as a learning experience instead of something to regret. this could also be hard to express though, as sagittarius and gemini (gemini is ruled by mercury) are opposites. so, this may not be the most comfortable placement
capricorn- these people are quite serious when they argue, nothing is a laughing matter to them. they also may struggle with speaking their mind, and they could be more of the listening type than the arguing type. these people could also ramble quite a bit before getting to the point. they restrict their selves from saying what they have to say, but once it’s out it’s out. there could be a difficulty expressing what they’re genuinely feeling during the argument. they don’t care to be loud, they would like to be heard when speaking though. their voices can go from soft to assertive as well. i can see that they may also use words that are exactly what they mean, despite them struggling to communicate their thoughts
aquarius- individuals with this placements could be hard to read while arguing. they may be detached, distant, and unexpressive with their demeanor. when arguing, they could be quiet at first, but have a lot to say. the words they use could also be long, or big, or even words that are rarely used. if they don’t tell you how they feel now, they could tell you through text or calls. the way they would like to navigate the argument though, is through finding a solution, and it may be creative in some way. like something you would’ve never thought of. what they say or the way they react may also be unpredictable. maybe you didn’t expect them to snap, or even get a little emotional
pisces- these people could have many things that will not be said. they don’t enjoy arguing and confrontation, for the main reason being that they empathize and can be susceptible to agreeing even if they really don’t. these individuals could want to cry quite fast, or at least get emotional fast. they may get angry, but if they do it will be expressed passive aggressively. there could be things they might forget to mention, mainly because it’s on in this unconscious or subconscious mind. they may also be secretive, when you don’t expect it, they could tell you something that you didn’t know they knew. they’re also intuitive so they could know when you are lying or at least not telling the full truth. when expressing their thoughts though, their emotions are pretty clear
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carmenberzattosgf · 8 months ago
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NSFW alphabet : carmen berzatto
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Content: fem reader, pure filth, size kink (easily skippable), daddy kink (easily skippable), dom/sub dynamics,
Word count: 5605
A/N: This is really filthy. I got a bit carried away as you can tell by the word count. Enjoy ! <<3
A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)
He’s a clinger. Carmy gets needy and touchy after sex, so he’s not going to leave your side. After normal sex, he lays on top of you for awhile because he loves the closeness of the physical contact. He’s pressing kisses all over your neck and mumbling how much he loves you over and over again. When it’s finally time to get up, he’s bringing a warm cloth from the bathroom to clean up between your legs. He’s so sweet and tender in moments like this, diligent in cleaning up the cum from your thighs. 
After a dom/sub type of scene, Carmy takes such good care of you. Beforehand he stashes everything he needs beside the bed so he doesn’t have to leave you afterwards. He stores the supplies in a wicker bin: pH balanced sensitive skin-safe wipes, a bottle of water, protein bars and other snacks (i.e chocolate), soothing ointment, your favorite t-shirt of his, hair ties, and even one of those instant ice packs if you need it. 
If you’re in that floaty place, he narrates every single thing he’s doing. Even though you can’t speak, he still wants to make sure you’re aware of what he’s doing before he does it.
“Okay, baby I’mma put your hair up into a messy bun to get it off your neck.”
“It’s going to be a little bit cold at first but I’m using these wipes to clean up between your legs.”
“I’m going to roll you over so I can take care of your bottom, and put some ointment on for you. I’ve already got a pillow to support your stomach.”
Carmy is so gentle while he takes care of you. It’s his favorite part of a scene, not getting off, but tending to you.
“Sweetheart, I need you to try and sit up so you can take some sips of water. Can you do that for me?” 
You’re stubborn and just wanna fall asleep in that floaty place so Carmen literally has to prop you up with pillows and force a straw between your lips. 
“Three big sips—there we go. Atta girl, good job.”
The best part of aftercare is saved for last, cuddling. Carmy lays you on top of his chest so you’re not laying on your raw backside, and softly pets your hair until you fall asleep. 
B = Body Part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)
He likes his hands. They do everything for him in the kitchen. They’re skilled and precise. Carmy is not the type of guy to be really into parts of his body, but his hands are alright. 
Now for you, he genuinely loves all of your body. Your face, your eyes, everything. However, he’s a major boob guy. He likes them in all sizes. He just loves tits (peep the mommy issues). One of his favorite parts of sex is getting to leave bite marks all over your chest. Send him a nude with your tits in it? Bye! He’s a goner. 
Thighs come in close second. He grips your thighs so hard during sex that sometimes you can make out small finger sized bruises in the mirror afterwards. Much like your boobs, he loves to mark up your thighs with hickies. He knows that he’s the only one that gets to see those marks so he leaves a bunch. 
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)
He’s obsessed with cumming inside of you. The sight of his cum dripping out of your cunt for the first time permanently rewires his brain. He’s convinced there’s no better feeling that filling you up with his cum. He’s nasty about it too, pressing any that has dripped out of you back into your cunt with his fingers. 
“Gotta keep you nice and filled up for me. I don’t want anything to go to waste. Here—“ He reaches for a pillow and lifts up your hips, placing it under your back. “There we go. Now it can’t spill out.” 
If he can’t cum inside of you, he cums on your stomach. The thing about Carmy is that he cums a lot, like the volume is massive. When he cums on your stomach, you’re covered in him. He’ll be fisting his cock for a good twenty seconds before the spurts of cum finally slow down. It’s all over you, dripping off of your hips onto the sheets. The first thing Carmy does is reach over for his phone on the bedside table. He takes a picture of you from the neck down, completely painted with white. The picture immediately goes into his locked camera folder. 
Finally, Carmy would rather cum in your mouth than on your face. He doesn’t want to get any in your eye. He’s truly a sweetheart (sometimes). Once, you stuck out your tongue full of cum for him, and his hard on came right back. His body was ready to go again after seeing his cum drip off of your tongue, down your neck, and into your cleavage. He’s a simple man at heart.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He really wants to try shibari with you, like really bad. He’s been researching heavily into it, about all of the knots and the types of rope. He doesn’t want to get into serious stuff like suspension, but he wants to cover your body in pretty and elaborate knots. Carmy’s mainly focused on the types of shibari that restrains your arms behind your back, making your chest jut out. He wants to surround your breasts with intricate knots. He might mess around with some patterns on your hips and thighs, but he’d rather tie up your arms, not your legs.  
He’s drawn to shibari because it’s almost mixing art intimacy ( because shibari doesn’t have to involve sex or pleasure). It’s a time that he can spend getting close to you while you’re letting go and trusting him completely. The tying up process isn’t short; it can take awhile. He thinks it would make your relationship stronger, and also let him be dominate in a way that’s different from just straight up sex. 
It will take him a very very long time to ever bring it up to you, though. He doesn’t want to freak you out or make you uncomfortable. He understands how much control a person is giving up when someone restrains them. 
In all seriousness, you probably ask him about it after you see a tab open on his laptop. He’s already left for work for the day and forgot to close out the tab. You grab his laptop, wanting to do the daily mini, and when you open it up, you’re met with an in depth rope tying tutorial. 
You decide to tread carefully on the topic when he gets home from work that day, since it seems like he was keeping it a secret. Once he’s gotten a shower, Carmy curls up with you on the couch to watch a little tv before going to bed. 
“I saw something interesting today, Carm.”
“Yeah? What might that be, baby?”
“Well, I was using your laptop to do the daily mini like I always do, and I saw a tab pulled up. Something to do with ropes?” Carmy instantly tenses up like he’s entered freeze mode. 
“Oh—uh, uhm. Sorry you’re probably like—freaked out now and—“ Carmy says quickly, without taking a breath. He’s on the verge of hyperventilating. 
“Baby, baby. Calm down. You’re all good. Nothing to be embarrassed about.” You start to comb through his hair with your fingers, massaging at his scalp in a way that relaxes him. “Why don’t you tell me all about it, yeah?” 
He does just that, explaining shibari and all the research he’s done into it. Carmy’s a bit surprised when you agree to it without any hesitation. 
“You know you don’t have do to this for me. I’m not going to be upset if you say no.”
“I trust you, Carmen. I love you and I know you’ll take care of me and keep me safe. If I don’t like it I’ll be honest with you.”
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)
This one is going to heavily depend on when you get into a relationship with Carmy. When he’s newly in New York, trying to become the greatest chef of all time? He’s horribly inexperienced. He barely knows how to interact with the opposite sex without getting red in the face. However, he’s eager to learn! He might not know exactly what he’s doing in the moment with you, but he wants you to feel good. He’s determined to make you orgasm. He asks what feels good and what doesn’t feel good. Carmy’s not afraid to ask you questions during sex either.  
Now if you meet him after he’s back in Chicago, he has more experience under his belt. New York and all of the places he traveled to during those years away from home gave him opportunities to become more confident with sex. Although, he still gets nervous about it, especially when he’s sleeping with someone for the first time. The awkwardness hasn’t gone away completely. 
At this point in your relationship with Carmy, he knows what he’s doing. He pays attention to your body and the way you react to his touch. Carmy learns what you like before you even have the chance to tell him. Every touch of his hands is purposeful to bring you pleasure. 
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying)
Missionary. No question about it. He wants to be able to look at you while he fucks you. He loves the closeness of the position, getting to feel your legs wrapped around his waist. It’s so intimate, and Carmy craves that intimacy. His favorite part of missionary is when you both are so close to the edge, with your foreheads resting against each other. He gets to look in your eyes and praise you. “You’re so pretty. So fucking gorgeous—fuck, baby.” 
“Taking me so well— always take me so well.” “Love you, love you, love you so much.” 
Oh, and his other favorite part about missionary is getting to kiss you. He fucking loves kissing you during sex. Sure, it’s messy, with teeth and lips clashing together half the time, but he cannot get enough of your mouth. That moment when you have to break the kiss to moan out because of how good he feels inside of you is what he loves about kissing you in missionary. 
Carmy also enjoys anything that lets him see your face. With your legs over each of his shoulders, he’s found he can hit even deeper inside of you. Don’t worry, he puts a small pillow underneath the small of your back to make you comfortable. The angle makes your eyes roll back. 
If he’s honest with himself he fucking loves the position where he practically forces your thighs to meet your chest. His cock his so fucking deep inside of you he just has to make comments about it. “That too deep? Yeah? Can you feel me in your stomach?” Oh, and when he starts pressing his hand on your lower stomach so you can feel him moving in and out of you? The sensation is almost too much. 
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
This is Carmen Berzatto here. He’s so serious about everything, and that applies to sex, too. He’s just not the type to joke around during sex. He craves the intimacy of sex and doesn’t want to make light of the connection. That doesn’t mean sex with Carmy is overly serious. More so that he would rather not incorporate humor into sex. 
H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Carmy is so neat and meticulous. He literally cuts pieces of tape with a knife so it has a clean edge. With all things considered, he keeps it neat downstairs. Definitely not bald, but he trims up frequently. He cannot stand it when it’s crazy down there. 
For his partner? He does not give a fuck about the grooming of down there. Not one single bit. Do whatever you want and he will still be a happy man. 
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)
So intimate. Genuinely, he’s so romantic. Carmy’s kissing all over your body, praising every inch of your skin. It’s honestly jarring at first how intimate and intense he can be in the bedroom. Carmy puts his all into sex, much like he puts his all into the kitchen. He holds you so close the entire time. If you’re riding him on the couch? Yeah, he’s got both arms wrapped around you so your chest is pressed to his. This lets him make eye contact if he wants, or lets him moan into the crook of your neck. Carmy literally wants as much of his skin touching yours as possible during sex. Even if he has you on your stomach, he’s not going to settle for just doggy style because there’s not enough contact. Instead he’s leaning over you holding you up so your back presses against his chest. He sloppily kisses your shoulders and the back of your neck from this position. 
Let’s talk about eye contact—he’s staring right through you. He’s just so observant and doesn’t want to miss a single expression you make. God, the look in his eyes during sex practically puts you under a spell. He looks down at you through the bottom of his eyes with blown out pupils. 
So yeah Carmy makes sex extremely intimate every time without fail. 
J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)
Most of the time when Carmy jacks off it’s all about efficiency. He’s not trying to take time out of his day to get off. He’s the type to get off in the shower after work. It’s quick and rough, but he knows how to get himself off fast. 
Now, when you first come into his life? His routine changes a bit. Before you two start dating, Carmy masturbates to the idea of you. He honestly hates himself a bit for it, but it happens on accident. 
He hops out of the shower after work, puts on a pair of boxer briefs, and sits down on his couch. He didn’t touch himself in the shower, wanting to build up the tension a little bit.
When Carmy starts touching himself, his hands move slowly. Recently, he’s learned how much he likes teasing himself. So, he palms over his covered length, applying the right amount of pressure to make his hips twitch. Without even realizing it, Carmy’s mind wanders to you. 
You’ve been plaguing his mind all week long in the kitchen. Sydney assigned your prep to be right next to his, and he hasn’t been able to keep his mind off of you. In the kitchen, he keeps getting distracted by your pretty smile, and by the little jokes you make during the lunch rush. 
Gradually, the hand steadily pressing down on his hard length isn’t his own anymore. Instead he pictures your hand as the one working on him; that delicate, dainty hand of yours he’s watched prep food all week. 
Carmy gives up on teasing himself once the images of you pop into his head. He hastily pushes down his boxers to his thighs. The tip of his cock leaks with precum, dripping onto his length. Carmy’s head falls back in a choked moan when he finally grips himself. His heart races as he gently strokes his cock. It’s much different from his usual fast pace, but he’s trying to picture how you would do it; on how your hands would be so delicate compared to his callused ones. Carmy wonders if you would tease him, or if you would be dead set on bringing him to orgasm quickly. 
It’s a slippery slope when Carmen starts to picture you taking his cock into your mouth. His hand starts to pump faster as the image grows more vivid in his mind. He’s lost the gentleness of his movements, but he doesn’t care. The only thing he cares about is the vision of you on your knees in front of him. Your lips are swollen as they stretch around his cock. He thinks about the sounds you would make—how you would moan with his dick taking up your mouth. Spit would dribble from your lips onto your chin as you bob your head on his length. What brings him to the edge, though, is the idea of fucking your face. He would hold your head delicately in his hands, but thrust with his hips deep into your throat. Tears would slip from your eyes as he shoves you all the way down so your nose meets the skin above his dick. 
Carmy cums hard all over his stomach, wishing it was your throat instead. He swears he blacks out for a second from the pleasure. When the post orgasm clarity hits, he hastily cleans himself up. Carmy tells himself he won’t do it again, picture you while he’s masturbating, but he knows that’s a load of bullshit. 
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Breeding— Carmy and breeding go together like peanut butter and jelly. It’s why he’s always cumming inside of you. He wants to show everyone your his, and what’s a better way than knocking you up with his kid? He’s low key obsessed with the idea of getting you pregnant. 
Overstimulation— Carmy’s a soft dom. He wants to make you cum over and over and over again before he even thinks about orgasming. His goal is for your head to be spinning by the end of it. 
Spanking— Carmy’s into spanking, okay? However, before he even thinks about doing it in the bedroom he talks to you about it multiple times at length. He clarifies a safe word with you and establishes your limits. You do the same thing with him because safe words and boundaries go both ways! Normally, he’s only going to spank you as a punishment for something. The way you whimper and moan in his lap as he spanks you makes him so hard. It honestly gives Carmy a rush to see you dripping from his hand coming down on your ass. 
Size kink— It’s definitely arises from insecurities about his height, let’s be honest here. Regardless of your height though, Carmy just likes feeling that he’s bigger than you. It’s why he’s so ripped. No matter how tall you are he’s got enough muscle to hold you down in bed. Now, if you are shorter than him, even better. 
The size kink appears in other ways other than just pure body size. For one, it drives him crazy how much smaller your hands are compared to his. Seeing your dainty hand wrapped around his cock drives Carmy up the wall. You can barely wrap your fingers all the way around his length. 
He loves to watch as your cunt takes his fingers. They’re so much wider and longer than your own, so he goes slow. 
Finally, his size kink comes into play most when he’s fucking you. He’s soothing you while he works his cock into your cunt. Once he’s all the way in, he can’t help but point out of the sight of him inside of you. “Look. You see that?” Carmy asks while drawing your attention to the small bulge in you stomach, right above your mound. It’s hard to see when he’s not moving, so he lightly thrusts in deeper so the bulge moves. 
“F-fuck, yeah— I can see that,” you whine in response. Carmy’s hand moves over the bulge and he presses down, hard, before he starts rolling his hips into you at a quick pace. 
“Such a good girl taking my cock like this. I’m surprised it even fit, baby. Taking me so fucking well.”
Praise— He loves giving praise and being praised. He’s calling you everything. His love, his good girl, his princess, his baby. He’s telling you how good you’re doing for him, and how perfect you are for him. 
“Made for me. You know that? Fucking perfect.”
“You’re so pretty. My pretty girl.” 
“I love you so much. Fuck—you feel so good, squeezing me like that—shit.”
And you offer praise back in return because goodness knows Carmy needs to hear it after all those years being insulted in the kitchen. 
“You’re so pretty, too. You make me feel so good, Carmy.”
“Love these muscles,” you say while feeling his abs as he thrusts into you. “So hot how strong you are, baby.” Those types of comments from you make his brain short circuit. 
Daddy kink— Okay, nothing turns him on more than being called daddy. It just, does something to his brain. A pretty girl like you? Calling him daddy? Begging him to fuck you? Yeah, he’s close to cumming in his pants from that. It’s just the soft dom thing he has going for him. He wants to take care of you in every way possible, make you feel good, and provide for you. 
“Please daddy, need you,” you beg. 
“I got you sweet girl. Daddy’s going to take care of you, don’t worry.”
L= Location (Favourite places to do the do)
He prefers a good old mattress. It’s basic but it’s private and comfortable. Carmy also likes fucking on a couch, too. Mainly because if he’s started getting hot and heavy on a couch, he’d rather fuck you there than carry you to the bedroom. He’s all about efficiency!
Part of him enjoys fucking at the restaurant. Not all the time, though, but there’s something about fucking you in a locked office that really gets him going. He has to keep his palm clasped over your mouth to keep you quiet. Whenever he has sex with you at the restaurant, it’s always fast, rough, and passionate. Usually, it’s to release stress, but even if it’s not, you’re going to have trouble walking straight afterwards. Richie makes an all knowing face when you walk out of the office, and heat builds up in your cheeks as you get out of the front doors as fast as possible. 
Oh, and Carmy loves to get on his knees and eat you out while you’re sitting on the kitchen counter at his apartment. 
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Anything. Anything at all. When he’s into someone, he’s into them. Your touch alone can be enough to turn him on. 
With that being said, there are some specific things that drive Carmy crazy. For one, you wearing his clothes. 
One time you walked into the Bear before opening hours wearing one of his classic white t-shirts. He thought he was about to have a brain aneurysm seeing you in his clothes. The way the fabric draped over your body— yeah he had to take you back into the office as soon as you walked into the restaurant. 
Speaking of clothes, dresses and skirts are his favorite articles of clothing on you. He thinks that you look so very pretty in them, and he also likes the easy access. 
As mentioned in K, if you whisper anything in his ear involving the word “daddy”, he’s dragging you off somewhere immediately. 
Thinking about this specifically at some kind of chefs’ gala. Carmen’s been in a circle of chefs from around the area talking for what feels like hours, now. All you want to do right now is go home. You make your way up to Carmy, and balance on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “Are you going to be done soon, daddy? I’d rather go home and spend time with you.”
You can see the way Carmy’s hands tighten around the glass in his hand before he speaks to the people around him. “If you’ll excuse me, folks. My girl isn’t feeling well so I’m going to take her home. Glad to have gotten to talk to you all.”
Yeah, Carmy drives to the darkest part of the parking lot and tells you to get into the back seat. He can’t wait until he gets home to fuck your brains out. 
N = No (Something they wouldn't do, turn-offs)
Anything that would actually hurt you. He limits stuff like spanking to just his hand. He refused to use anything else for impact play. He won’t do CNC ever. Like never ever. 
Carmy also won’t be a full on sub himself. He loves control, and needs to be in control to have a good time. The idea of losing control and being tied up is enough to send him into a panic attack.  
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Carmy loves eating pussy. He wants to stay in between your legs all day long. He won’t shut up about how good you taste. “So good, baby. Wanna taste some?” He’ll say before pressing a soaking wet finger to your lips. 
There’s so much to say about munch Carmen. He’s so fucking good at it, too. He alternates between licking and sucking at your clit in a way that makes your vision go blurry. He knows enough about your anatomy to pull back the hood with his thumb so he can suck right on the exposed bud. The first time he does it, you swear stars explode in your field of vision. 
He just LOVES eating you out! He gets to look up at you with those big blue eyes as you writhe against his face in pleasure. It makes him feel useful and needed, if he’s being honest. He could probably cum just from eating you out. The feeling of your fingers tugging in his hair, the sounds of your cries in his ears, and the pressure of your thighs closing around his head makes Carmy moan into your cunt like a madman. 
So yeah Carmy prefers to give head, but that doesn’t mean he’ll stop you from blowing him. He tends to not last as long, though. Your warm mouth around him, sucking and licking at his tip. The way your take him all the way back in your throat. Fuck— the feeling of you gagging around him as his cock hits the back of your throat. He’s praising you the entire time, too. 
“Look at you—fuck. Taking my cock in that pretty mouth of yours so well.”
“So good, baby. So fucking good with your mouth—holy shit.”
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
The answer is all of the above. Most of the time he prefers to take his time with you because he wants to savor the moment with you. Carmy’s favorite way to fuck you is slow and deep. He wants you to feel him all the way in your stomach. If he’s in a mood, however, he’s all for being fast and rough. Ultimately his pace is going to be whatever gets you off the best. 
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Quickies aren’t his favorite thing ever, but he has them often. He hates how busy his work is purely because it prevents him from having  sex with you as often and as long as he would like to. Quickies usually happen at the restaurant in his office. That’s where a fast and rough pace comes into play, because there’s one goal in mind; Get off, and get off fast before someone notices. If there’s just way too many people in the restaurant, he’s not opposed to taking you in the backseat of his car for a quick fuck. 
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
Oh he’s for sure open to experimenting in the bedroom. He will try just about anything that you’re willing to try. 
As for risks, he’s down to take calculated risks. However, once he fucked you in the restaurant bathroom while the place was still the beef because the office didn’t have a lock (He fixed that during the remodel). It was all going great until Fak started banging on the door shouting that he was about to piss himself. Real mood killer. Now, Carmy is more careful about the risks he takes. 
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
Carmy can last for quite awhile. He has so much pent up energy that he can keep going and going. He won’t admit it, but he one hundred percent thinks about his time at Noma to keep himself from cumming. He only has to do it sometimes, though. 
Additionally, Carmy is a two rounds max kind of a guy. There’s just only so many times that he can cum before he’s going to pass out from exhaustion. Remember, he did fall asleep on a prep table that one time. 
T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Carmy doesn’t haven’t any toys for himself. His hand has always done the job, and he saw no reason to get something else. 
With you, he’ll use a toy from time to time, but it’s rare. He’d much rather make you squirm with his own hand, or his mouth than with a toy. It gives him a sense of pride when he’s made you shake without using anything other than his own body. 
Now, I can see him buying you a really expensive vibration to use while he’s away on trips. As long as you face time him when you use it so he can get off too, of course. 
U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)
Carmen is such a fucking tease. He loves teasing you in and out of the bedroom with his words. When it comes to in the bedroom, half of the fun for him is teasing. He’s running the head of his cock through your folds mumbling stuff like: 
“Want me to put it in, baby? I can feel how wet you are right now.”
“C’mon. You gotta say it with your words. I don’t know what you want unless you tell me, honey.”
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He groans a lot into your neck. Curses a bunch too, like strings of curse words. Carmen can get pretty loud if he’s feeling really good. When he’s close to cumming, Carmen’s voice degrades into a whine that makes you dig your nails into his back to hear it again. As it reaches that point, he doesn’t care how desperate he sounds. “N-need you to cum. Please cum for me, baby. Need to f-feel you cum around my cock.”
W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)
One word. Choking. Carmy loves choking. He’s on top of you and wraps his hand around your throat just enough to cut off the blood circulation for half a second. You go absolutely crazy when his hand wraps around your throat because the euphoria is so intense. It’s like you’re on cloud nine. 
Sometimes when he’s fucking you from behind he wraps his bicep around your neck to have the same affect on you. 
Alternatively, Carmen realizes that he also enjoys being choked, at least a little bit. It happens naturally when you're on top riding him. His head falls back and exposes his neck, so you just reach forward and squeeze a little. Carmy’s eyes pop wide open as he feels the blood rush to his head. It’s so blissful he’s just laying with his head thrown back and his mouth open as you release the pressure. 
“Does that feel good for you, too?” you ask. Carmy can’t even speak, he just nods dumbly at your question. “That’s why I love it so much when you do it to me, Carm.” When you squeeze again, he’s spilling into you with a choked groan. 
X = X-ray (Let's see what's going on under those clothes)
His cock is so fucking thick oh my god. It’s a bit  longer than average length wise, but the girth is massive. You’re not even sure you can take it when he pulls his cock out for the first time. He has to fuck you so slow the first time you have sex because the stretch is just so much. He spends at least the first five minutes inside of you staying completely still to let you adjust to his size. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you. 
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
He’s down to have sex whenever and wherever (as long as it’s private). Carmy feels like he doesn’t fuck you enough as is, which is why you two are increasingly having quickies in his office as his time becomes more consumed by the Bear. 
Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Carmy is very much awake up until the point he finishes your aftercare. Meanwhile the second you cum you’re fighting your eyelids begging Carmy to cuddle you to sleep. He has a job to do, though, he needs to clean you up, and carry you to the bathroom so you don’t get a UTI. Once he’s finished with after care he’s out like a light with you tucked in his arms, resting on his chest. 
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thedemoninme141 · 5 months ago
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Operation Oreo
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Wrote this cause @ortegalvr and @cobaltperun inspired me a little. Never thought I would write fluff.
Summary: A jealous Wednesday buys you Oreos...
It had taken an hour of pleading, sweet-talking, and even a few light-hearted bribes, but you’d finally managed to get Wednesday to agree to go with you to the carnival. She was by your side now, looking as out of place as ever in her all-black attire, her expression one of deep displeasure.
Wednesday scanned the surroundings with a sharp gaze, her mind undoubtedly filled with thoughts of a million better things she could be doing. The only reason she hadn't slipped away into the shadows was because of you. Her loyalty, or perhaps something more, kept her grounded. Still, she was just about ready to tell you that she was leaving when a lanky boy from Ajax’s group approached.
"Hey, I got these for you," the boy said, holding out a open packet of Oreos. "I remember you mentioned these were your favorite."
You blinked in pleasant surprise, smiling as you accepted one from the packet. "Thank you! That's really thoughtful."
You laughed at something he said, and Wednesday's eyes narrowed. She wasn’t entirely sure if Oreos were your favorite, though she was mildly annoyed at herself for not knowing. But any regret she felt was quickly overshadowed by a surge of jealousy as she watched the boy inch closer to you, clearly enjoying your attention a bit too much for her liking.
Without a word, Wednesday turned on her heel and strode through the crowd, her eyes locking onto Enid, who was in line for food. The werewolf was balancing a tray of snacks when Wednesday grabbed her arm and yanked her out of the line.
“Wednesday! What gives? I’m going to lose my spot!” Enid complained, nearly dropping everything as she was dragged along.
“Where can I find a carton of Oreos?” Wednesday asked, her tone flat but her eyes flashing with an emotion Enid struggled to decipher.
Enid’s confusion only lasted a moment before she spotted the boy sharing his Oreos with you and your smile. A grin spread across her face as she pieced it together. “Ohhh, I see what this is about. Wednesday Addams, jealous? I never thought I’d see the day!”
“Enid.” Wednesday’s voice was a warning, cold enough to shut Enid up, but not before she couldn’t resist teasing her one last time.
"Don't worry, Ajax and I will help you with Operation Oreo."
The next thing you knew, you and Wednesday were sitting in the backseat of Ajax’s car as he drove, Enid beside him literally choking because it was too hard to hold the laughter inside.
Enid had practically shoved you inside. The car was crammed with packs of Oreos, a ridiculous amount, so many that there was barely any room for the two of you to sit. The sight was so absurd that it took everything you had not to burst out laughing.
Wednesday, on the other hand, was staring intently out the window, refusing to meet your gaze. Her shoulders were tense, and you could see the faintest hint of pink on her pale cheeks.
You knew this gesture, this utterly nonsensical yet endearing over-the-top display, had been her way of staking a claim, of showing that she cared in her own peculiar way.
You reached over and gently touched her hand. “Wednesday…”
She turned to you, her eyes softening just a fraction. “He shouldn’t have given you those Oreos. It should've been me. I should have known they were your favorite.”
You finally let the giggle escape, your heart swelling with affection. “It’s okay. You know now, and you didn’t have to do all this.”
Wednesday frowned, glancing around at the mountains of cookies surrounding you both. “Perhaps it was… excessive.”
“Maybe a little,” you teased lightly. “But it’s the thought that counts. I love that you’d do something like this for me, Wednesday. It means a lot.”
“Let’s never speak of this again,” she said, though the corner of her mouth twitched upward.
You nodded, still holding back your laughter. “Agreed.”
Some Oreos between you two crumbled in their packets as you moved closer to her to put your head on her shoulder, who cares about broken Oreos? You like KitKats more anyway.
[ Author's note: Its been exactly one year since Celine left. Its been a rough year old friend, I miss exploring the lands between with you.]
Our other works are here.
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thisonehere · 8 days ago
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Under the Mistletoe
Mk kharacters x GN reader
Summary: Johnny's hosting a holiday party and you find yourself under the mistletoe with a kombatant.
A/n: Happy New Years!!! It's been a good little minute since I've done any headkanons. I know I haven't been posting much lately, I'm sorry about that a lot's been going on these last few months. This year I plan on being way more productive with my writing.
C/w: Heat, Slight smut, sloppy kissing, tongue, mentions of blood, violence and bruises
Bi-Han
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He wasn't originally supposed to be here.
Johnny didn't want to invite him, considering all the recent drama (and because he still owed Johnny for the vase), but you insisted. You felt bad because the alternative was him spending the holidays alone.
You all thought Bi-Han wouldn't show up, Bi-Han wasn't a fan of the holidays, neither was he really the funnest at parties.
You were all surprised when Bi-Han did come. It was all so awkward. There was a lot of tension in the air, many fearing that at any given second, Bi-Han would explode and ruin everything.
But it didn't happen, the entire night Bi-Han stayed in a corner of the room. No one dared to go near him, not even his own brother, so he stayed there alone. He stayed there with his arms crossed leaning against the wall with a scowl in his face.
You felt your heart ache for him.
After building up courage, you walk up to him. He gives you a cold glare, but there was something oddly welcoming in his eyes.
"What do you want?" He grumbles as he gets off the walls and stands upright.
You quickly attempt to make small talk, he eyes you up and down as you try to talk to him. He still has a frown on his face but he doesn't shoo you away or giving you the feeling that he wants to be alone.
The remainder of the evening you try to create. Conversation, and Bi-Han gives you a decent response.
In truth, Bi-Han is grateful for you trying to talk to him. One of the worst parts of parties and events is that he often times end up alone, though he refuses to let anyone know that.
The holidays have always been a lonely time for him. He hated the holidays but his brothers always manage to make him enjoy just a little. But now s rift has grown between him and his brothers making it even harder to find anything to happen during this season.
You're the reason he came here in the first place. He refused to come at first, but then he learned that you personally asked Johnny to invite him, that you wanted him here.
You continue to talk, the conversation gets better. But you notice something hanging above both of you. Mistletoe. Johnny had hanged it all over the place in hopes of catching Kitana under it.
Hot red blush burns your face as you suddenly become shy. You fail to look Bi-Han in the eyes and struggle to speak. "What is it?" He sharply asks. Then he sees the mistletoe. Everything goes still and quiet as he just glares at it.
"I- it's just a dumb tradition." Your face felt like it was on fire with how hard you were blushing. "We don't have to do it." You can't anymore world's to say, your eyes are now glued to the floor.
Bi-Han glared at you, an unimpressed look in his eyes. "Pathetic." You hear him mumble as he places a hand onto your chin and forces you to look at him. "Cowardice disgust me."
He then grabs the back of your head and forcefully kisses you. His lips crash against you as his other arm wraps itself around your body
He holds you close as he kisses you, he isn't usually a romantic man, but tonight, for you, he'll make an exception.
His lips weren't as rough as you anticipated they'd be, they were surprisingly soft and warm, everything about him is soft and warm. You find your arms slowly return to his embrace as he kisses you with an unexpected passion. You mind goes numb for a second as you can't fathom that this is happening.
Finally, Bi-Han releases you. You gasp as you catch your breath and regain your composer. You pant, you stable to keep you balanced. And all the while Bi-Han resumes his harsh stare and he fixes with his cold eyes.
He continues the conversation you were having like nothing happened, you try to continue it too. But the kiss is permanently at the for front of your mind.
It's getting later in the night and the party is now whining down. All you can think about is Bi-Han's warmth, his rough lips that were soft at the same time. The way his strong arms held you gave you chills to just think about it.
Later on, you both were seen leaving the party together.
Tomas
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At the prospect of being invited to a party, especially a party at Cage mansion with the Johnny Cage, Tomas was over the moon.
He was especially eager to go when he heard you'd be there. He has always had a crush on you, but he was too nervous to do anything. Maybe tonight will be different...
So you made the decision to take him home with you.
Tomas isn't one for social interactions, unless it's leading and instructing warriors or playing a part, he is quite awkward. But tonight, he was willing to try.
During the party, he does his best to be as social as possible. Sometimes he does well, other times her devolves into going on a long rant about one of his many hyperfixations.
But throughout the entire night, he has kept his eye on one thing: you. He has desperately been looking for you everywhere. Sometimes he finds you, but you're too busy or too far away for him to get to. Other times he can't find you anywhere, he asks around and he is often led onto a wild goose chase.
When the night goes on, things get darker and darker outside. Guests were already beginning to leave, and he hasn't had a chance to speak to you.
Much to his disappointment, he and Kuai were beginning to leave. He feels heartbroken, he was so excited to speak to you, he didn't know what about, but just being able to speak to you would be enough for him.
He and Kuai were walking out of the door. But then Tomas sees something at the corner of his eye.
Tomas sees an opportunity, and he bolts towards. Much to Kuai's confusion.
"Y/N!" He shouts as he quickly approaches you. You eagerly stop what you're doing totuen to face him as he steadily approaches.
As he gets to you, he accidentally slams into you and knocks you over.
Tomas grabs you by the waist, quickly catching you before you hit the ground, apologizing purfusely.
But you don't seem to mind, you actually laugh and joke about it. That doesn't stop Tomas for feeling terrible, he places a hand on the back of your head, cradling it and ensuring that it's secure, and places another hand on your lower back. He tenderly looks at you, causing you to feel a sudden load of butterflies awaken in your stomach.
Your eyes fall onto the ceiling and you what's above your head: Mistletoe.
You stare at it, wheels in your head turn as you realize what it is. Tomas, noticing you staring at something, looks up and see it too.
You both are frozen for a second as you share sheepish glances at each other, both of you too shy to say anything. Yet you give him an encouraging look.
He goes in and kisses. He over thought it every second. Should he skip some tongue in? Would you like that? Is he going kissing you too hard? Will he soft enough for you?
Both your minds went numb as you lips touch, it all feels strangely magical as the world goes silent. You become more aware of the way he holds you, so much care, so much love.
He helps you back to your feet, but your head felt awfully light from that kiss.
"Um, maybe we should go somewhere private." He says, his own face flushed. "I think we have a lot to talk about."
Kuai
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As the Grandmaster of a very new and very fragile clan meant to protect Earthrealm, Kuai aoiang as little interest in parties. So he refuses to go at first, but Tomas and Harumi insist on him going.
He is firm at first on his position on not going, but they all eventually wear him down. He begrudgingly relents and agrees to go.
He is a natural when it comes to social settings. He has a cool and charismatic way about him that makes him a very chill person to be around.
He wasn't a very outgoing person though, not really a social butterfly. He kept to just Tomas and Harumi for most of the night.
One of Kuai's problems is that he is often too mild, but to him he was just right. Tomas and Harumi encouraged Kuai to let loose a little tonight.
So that's what he tried, he began being more outgoing talking to more people, even dancing a little. It felt pretty fun, but he preferred to be in a calmer setting, making having some form of a deep conversation.
He found that in you. He came across you while he was coming off the dancefloor, many cheering him as he left.
"Y/n!?!?" He was taken aback when he saw you, you were so beautiful tonight. "You look... exquisite." He sighs. You were always so radiant to him in just the simple things you do. So many times he found himself going mad at how magnificent you were, tonight you were just the same if not more.
You always loved Kuai, he was amazing in your eyes. He was gentle and sweet, so you didn't hesitate when he came to you hoping to talk.
You found a much more calmer part of the mansion to talk. A nice room with a leather couch, possibly the library, but the place was do overly decorated that you couldn't tell.
Kuai talked about the Shirai Ryu and how well it was coming along. He is especially about the one Shirai Ryu in particular, Hanzo Hasashi. He beamed with pride when talking about him, as he and Hanzo were at one point good friends.
He looked so cute as he talked about how proud he was of everyone in the clan, how humbling it was being a grandmaster and having to deal with such a big responsibility.
Eventually, the conversation got a little more casual when you talked about what you were going to do for the rest of the holidays. Kuai seemed especially interested on whether are not you'd be spending them with someone.
Before you could answer, you lay back in your chair, you notice for the first time something hovering over your head, mistletoe.
Butterflies begin swarm around in your stomach as you fix your eyes into the decoration, making sure your weren't mistaken.
Kuai looks up too, he seems less surprised by the mistletoe. He stilled seemed calm, you caught his brow arch and lips curl a little.
"Well," he sets gets closer to you "It is tradition to kiss." You rub your face hoping that the blush might come off. "And who am I to go against tradition?"
He pulls you close, sits you onto his lap. "Y/n," He says softly, almost a whisper. "Will you do me the honor of letting me kissing you?"
Did he even need to ask? He pulled you in and kissed you, his kiss was like fire. His hand rub your thigh, slowly making it's way to the inside of your thigh.
He even was so brave to the point of slipping his tongue into your mouth. You moan as he continues to kiss you with passion.
He lays your down onto your back on the couch. He climbs on top of you and continues to kiss you. He pulls back to undo his shirt, you help him unbutton it as things began to feel a tough hotter in the room.
"Well, it's a good thing we chose someplace private." He said as he threw his shirt off. "I suppose we'll be here for a good while."
Geras
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He met you while he was moving through the dance floor trying to get back to Tomas and Harumi, who were busy talking to Liu Kang.
You are instantly attracted to him, you admire him from afar. You find your way to him later on in the night. Though he was kind of stiff
As the overseer of the timeline, Geras spends his days monitoring the hourglass and ensuring all went according to Liu Kang's plans.
He never celebrates the holidays, he never saw a reason too. He had no one else around to celebrate it with.
But he can't deny that he has a curiosity on what it would be like to have someone to enjoy these traditions with.
So when Johnny invited Geras to this holiday party, Geras accepts.
He hopes to go know what it's like to partake in such festivities with humans.
Though, he isn't the best at socializing. For the first part of the night he decides it would be festive to give people cryptic warnings and clues about their futures. One guy he just straight up told him that he had an incurable disease and that'd cause him to die an agonizingly slow and excruciatingly painful death.
Geras stayed in the corner for most of the night, unsure on what to do. He just stood there and stared at everyone, it began to creep some people out. It didn't help that he chose the darkest corner which caused his eyes to glow in a very ominous way.
The only person who wasn't scared of him was you. After building up some courage, you invite him over to have some punch with.
Geras has always had a strange fondness for you. You caught his eye as he monitored the timeline. There was a strange
It's very awkward at first, neither of you seem to know how to interact. Both of you come from extremely different walks of life so there isn't a lot to talk about.
He talks about his process of monitoring this and other timelines for potential threats.
Geras is the first to notice it above your heads. The Mistletoe. It's a strange tradition to him. He is familiar with it, a superstitious tradition thought to ensure fertility. It's useless to him, he never planned on having children. Frankly, he isn't sure he even could barely children.
Family, love, passion, things Kronika forbade him. She had created him strictly to enforce her will.
But Liu Kang did recreate him, perhaps things have changed. He can think of someone he'd like to try these things with.
He stares at it while you talk. Confused, you stop talking and look up. You feel yourself blush as you realize what's above you.
You nervously laugh, "It's-uh-it's a Mistletoe. Basically it's-"
"I am aware of what it is, Y/n, I was not created yesterday." He interrupts sternly. You must look like a tomato with how red you are. "It's alright, I didn't mean to be rude."
Then silence between you two, your eyes dart from Geras and to the Mistletoe. Geras just stares blankly at you.
Finally, after taking a deep breath, you get on your tippy toes and gently kiss Geras. taking Geras by surprise.
Gently touches his lips as he processes what just happened. And then you see something you never saw before, Geras blushing.
"...Thank you...Y/n..." He says softly, giving an appreciative smile.
He stays with you for the remainder of the night, he looks at you with a look in his eyes. Like cogs in his brain were working hard to process and understanding new found feelings.
Kitana
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When Kitana was invited by Johnny, she was hesitant at first. She once thought his little attempts to woo her were cute at first, but now they were getting annoying.
Also, she didn't care much for the Earthrealm holidays.
But she decided that she'd come by for a little bit, and then return to Outworld to spend the rest of winter with her sister to help with strategizing against Shoa.
And she must admit, she did find the party quite fun. The Christmas tree being so beautifully lit, the holiday cheer in the air as the carolers sang songs outside.
She admired the decoration of the mansion. She bumped into you as she was looking around. She kindly greeted you, asking you to excuse the splotches of blood on her hands.
The Princess has always been very fond of you, you were one of the few Earthrealmers she fairly liked.
But that enjoyment quickly ended.
She seemed fairly excited, she seemed to be enamored by the holidays.
You begin to talk about holiday tradition, you share Earthrealm customs while she shares Outworld holiday traditions.
The conversation quickly transitions to you telling holiday memories from your childhood. Kitana listens intently, enraptured by your every word. But then her attention is taken by something on the ceiling, but you don't notice.
If you paid attention to Kitana's face, it looked like wheels were turning. Then something clicked.
"Y/n?" She gently asks, immediately taking your attention. "I need you to step back a few feet." You stare at her confused, but you comply. A mischievous look on her face.
When you finish backing up, she points for you to look up at the ceiling. You look up and your heart stops as you see it: Mistletoe.
You choke on air. You look back at her, you try to say. She just stares you down with a smirk on her face. She gestures with her hand for you to come closer.
You shuffle forward a little, too nervous to get too close. Kitana grabs you by the collar and pulls you into a kiss. Taking out her fan and folding to stop people from seeing you kiss.
After holding her face against you and kissing you for a few moments, Kitana is nice enough to let you go. She laughs as you stumble about trying to regain you composure.
"It seems these Earthrealm traditions are not as bad as I thought."
Reiko
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No nobody knows why he's here, he wasn't invited.
Reiko knew he wasn't invited. General Kitana, Geras, and Liu Kang was walking around here somewhere. If they caught him it would be all over.
So, why is here? Perhaps he just wanted to crash the party and cause problems. That is certainly what he did. He caused quite a ruckus by being loud as possible, he pigged out almost all Christmas convections Johnny spent a fortune, he antagonised many of the guests by insulting them and trying to start fights.
He isn't usually like this, usually he is the loyal underling of General Shao, but he couldn't deny that he was still a little miffed at the Earthrealmers for winning the tournament and humiliating Outworld and the General as well as interfering with the generals plans to liberate Outworld. So his primary mission tonight was to ruin everyone's night.
And he was successful, so successful to the point that Kitana, Liu Kang, and Geras were on his tail. He had successfully avoided them for most of the night, he thought it was funny how they ran this way and that trying to find him, and he eluded them every turn of the way.
He bumped into you as he was dipping out of Kitana's sight.
"Well, hello there." The moment he saw you, he knew you'd be his next victim of the night.
As he thought of the best, most obscene thing he could say to you, you smile at him as you try to be nice. He unloaded a mass of perverted advances towards you in hopes getting a rise out of you.
He definitely would ask 'if it was bubblegum pink' if he knew of the saying. , enough for you to gasp and hide your face in shame as the blush came through.
You were familiar with Shao's wild second in command, but you didn't expect him to be so...charming. You found yourself blushing at his every word. Which isn't what Reiko was expecting usually the things he says would cause women to gasp and slap him in disgust.
But he couldn't deny, he liked seeing you like this, so he continued. Perhaps he could make more of a use of you tonight if he was lucky.
As he continues to spout his perverted advances towards, you look every which way but at him. At one point you look up to the ceiling to avoid his haunting eyes, and that's how you see it. Mistletoe hanging above your heads. You gasp as you see it.
Reiko stops talking and looks up to see what you were gasping at. He sees the strange bundle of flora hanging from the ceiling. He stares at it confused. He looks at you, his eyes demanding answers.
You quickly explain what it is, you stammer as you explain why it was hung up on the ceiling. As you tell him the tradition of kissing someone under the plant for superstition.
You watch as his eyes light up as you tell him. "Is that so?" He slowly walks up and gets closer to you. "Um...yeah, it's just a silly tradition." You say as you continue to avoid his gaze.
Reiko licks his lips as he stares at you. Before you know it, you don't even know how it began, if he initiated it or you, but now Reiko's face was against yours, his lips pressed up against your lips, his tongue exploring the inside of your mouth.
His hands weren't shy as they traveled around your body, feeling and gripping certain parts as he took you in.
You surprised at how hungrily he kissed and gripped at you. It was almost to the point that it felt like he was beginning to take your clothes off.
Whatever he was about to do, you'd never find out, because in an instant Reiko is ripped off you by Kitana. She hadn't given up on finding Reiko all night, him stopping to talk to you, to make out with you, slowed him down long enough for her to catch him.
You are left in a dazed and state as you are left stumbling back. Both from the commotion that Kitana and her guards caused as well as the passionate kiss that left your brain buffering.
Despite being found, Reiko had a smile on his face as he gave a proud laugh. "Well, looks like our date has been cut short...until next time..."
As they drag him away, Kitana sends you an apologetic look as she walks away. No doubt assuming you were a victim her was accosting you.
You are left alone, you can still taste Reiko in your mouth. You are struggling to process all the madness that just occurred in front of you. You fix your clothes and hair and try to enjoy the rest of the night.
Baraka
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The holidays aren't easy for Baraka. Tarkat often makes it so hard to live, especially with the fact that it took everything away from him, he struggles to feel any holiday joy.
When Johnny invited him to the party, Baraka had thought the man had gone crazy. Inviting someone infected with Tarkat to an event that could risk hundreds getting infected.
But Johnny insisted everything would be fine, Earthrealmers seem to have much more of an immunity to Tarkat compared to Outworlders.
Baraka would've refused, he should've refused. But so much of his life has been hardships, surely he could spend one night to be happy.
So there he is, he stands at the corner of the room, looking around aimlessly at the thousands of people. Music filled the air as the guess mingled and ate and were merry.
Everyone avoided Baraka, it doesn't matter if they as Earthrealmers had an immunity, they still ostracized him, avoided him, glared at him, whispered and muttered things about him.
Baraka regretted coming here. All he could do was stay in the corner, and watch as they all shot him dirty and concerned looks. He sighed, defeated. He never should have come here.
It felt like Johnny only brought him here to be spectacle to gawk and point.
He was just about to leave, until you walked up to him. You had been finding the courage to talk to him, you saw him standing all alone in and you felt you heart ache form.
Baraka stares you down cautiously as you walk up to him. You smile sweetly as you try to make small talk. Baraka doesn't shoo you away, he seemingly embraces your company.
There isn't much for you to talk about, but you still try, and Baraka appreciates it. He isn't really a talkative person, but for you he tries.
You actually get along quite well, after a few minutes of painful attempts at small talk, you finally find something to talk about.
As you talk, you eyes find their way to the ceiling, and that is how you became aware of the mistletoe hanging above your heads.
You try to stop yourself, but you audibly gasp as you look at it, causing Baraka to look at it as well.
You quickly explain what it is and what people do when they're caught under it. Baraka merely makes dry laughs at this. Not just because of his lack of lips, but the idea of you ever kissing him. Surely, you must've thought him too repulsive to kiss.
But you surprised him. After hesitating a few seconds, you slowly rock forward on the tip of your toes and you plant a soft kiss on Baraka's nose.
Baraka is taken aback by this as you softly pech his mutated nose. He was as you step back and smile at him, and all he can do is look dumbfounded.
Did you do that out of pity? Did you just feel bad for him so you decided to kiss him? Obligation? Was it out of duty to tradition?
Or...did you do it because you...liked?
Be can't help fantasize about the possibility of someone loving in such a way. For now, perhaps he'll give into the fantasy. But he's no fool, this is just for tonight. Because who could possibly actually love a monster like him.
Liu Kang
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Bah! How could you ever love a monster like him?
Liu Kang hasn't always been one for parties. He has always preferred to stay at the Wu Shi and meditate in his temple.
But the Fire God decided to humor Johnny and attend the party.
Being the protector of Earthrealm as well as the Titan of time, Liu Kang was the center of attention for much of the night. So many people came to him and started conversations, maybe they ask him questions hoping to pry out some answers for major moments in their lives.
Sometimes an entire entourage would form around him. You were almost knocked down by the crowd of people as they walked past you, you wondered if Liu Kang ever felt overwhelmed by all this attention.
Finally, the crowd about him finally lightened up, giving Liu Kang a chance to slip away. That is how he came across you.
You had avoided him all night. You were always intimidated by that fact that he was the protector of Earthrealm, finding out that he was the Titan of Time as well made you officially too nervous to approach him.
You had always had Liu's eyes though. You had always been special to him. He took great care in crafting everyone's destiny in this new timeline, he especially took great care when crafting your new life.
Something about you was just so captivating about you that Liu Kang couldn't keep you out of his head indefinitely. So when he found out you were here, he decided upon himself that he'd speak to you at least once tonight.
He wasn't going to do anything too personal, just a kind smile and a kind greeting. Perhaps a little small talk and then he'd move on.
You felt your palms get sweaty as he walked up to you. You force a smile into your face as he begins talking. You remind yourself at every second not to freak out, this is just you literal maker and creator of the universe, who's also hot, nothing to worry about.
You make your greetings, you wish him a happy holiday. Liu Kang nods at this, he moves the conversation to how much progress you've made throughout this year. "You have improved so much, considering who you were originally..."
He trails off for a second. "I'm sorry?" You asked perplexed. "I improved from wha-"
"Forgive me, I misspoke." He waves his hand as if he was shooing away a thought. He is quick to move the conversation along, you don't protest, better to keep the conversation light rather than ask questions about your past lives and the place he designer for you in this timeline.
You try to move the conversation along, you talk about what you did for the holidays, who you celebrated with, how you brought in the new year. He seemed very interested in your words like they were so fascinating.
As you speak, you are none the wiser of the mistletoe that hangs above you. Liu Kang knows about it, he saw it as he walked over to you. He would really like to kiss you, but he didn't know how to bring it up.
Finally, much to Liu Kang's joy, you look up and notice it. He warmly smiles as he watches you shrink under the mistletoe, obviously stunned by this. You eyes dart from him to the mistletoe, he gives you an encouraging smile as you calm down.
"I believe you do something when found under this." He gives you a charming smile. "Um, may I?" You feel the warm sensation of his hand as he caresses the side of your face, he lovingly looks into your eyes as he admired your for a second.
His lips are soft, electrifying, you feel your body basically collapse as he continues to caress your lips with his.
Tonight is the night you learned what it was like to be kissed by a god. That was apparent as you failed to collect yourself when he finished. You were so flustered that you couldn't even think straight.
"Have lovely rest of the evening." Liu Kang smiles at you generously, he then walks away. Leaving you to contemplate the fact that you just kissed a creator god.
Johnny Cage
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Tonight didn't go as planned for Johnny.
He had hoped to catch Kitana under the mistletoe and have a totally hot make out sess'.
He followed her around for a good part of the night, all the while hoping he'd catch her under one of the many mistakes he hung up across the mansion. It was getting to the point of harassment.
And he did catch her under the Mistletoe, though, he didn't get a kiss. But she was nice enough to give him some sweet chin music as she uppercut him.
She knocks him onto his ass right then and there, also knocking him out. Maybe she hit him a few more times while he was down.
Despite this, many of the partygoers still continue on with the party.
Johnny lies there for some time. You eventually feel bad for him and wakes him up.
You get Johnny to the bathroom and are nice enough to help him clean up the many bruises on his face.
Cage is a drama queen, so he overreacts to the bruises on his face. All he had was a busted lip, a broken nose, a black eye, and a few cuts and gashes all over him, nothing bad at all.
"Well, did we learn anything, Mr. Cage?" You ask as he sits in the tub clutching an ice pack over his eye. You were in his bathroom, you were alcohol onto a cotton ball.
"Okay, maybe a went a little too fa-AH" he flinched as you use the cotton ball. "A little?" You press cool cotton against the red cut on his face. "Okay, Okay, I fucked up and went too far. I should've taken no as an answer and left Kitana alone. Happy?"
"Very." You teasingly coo as you wipe all the blood of his face, you feel a little bit bad for Johnny. He deserves every last but if these injuries, to be sure. But seeing him in pain made you feel bad deep down.
"Ow! Hey, go easy on me!" He hissed in pain as you dabbed the cotton onto another wound. You look at the bloody cotton ball, with a sigh you throw it away.
As you attend to him, you thank Johnny for inviting you and tell him how much you enjoyed the party. You talking about how much you enjoyed the party seemingly puts him in a better mood.
He tries to smile, looking past the busted lip, he still had one of the best smiles you ever seen. His teeth glowed like freshly cut diamonds.
He was such a charming man when he didn't try so hard. You felt yourself melt under his gaze. Cage arched his brow, "Starstruck looks cute in you, Y/n. Say, you want to kiss under the mistletoe?" He tries his best to be smooth
"We're in a bathroom, Cage." You shake yourself out of the daze you were in. Johnny just points to the ceiling. You look up "Really?!?!" You gasp as you see quite a few pieces of mistletoe hanging from the bathroom ceiling. "What can I say, I always come prepared."
You groan as you shake you head. Then you grab him by the collar and kiss him.
Despite the bruises on his lips, Cage still has the best pair of lips you've ever had the privilege to kiss. You felt his hands tangle itself in your hair as Cage returned your hold
It's strange, a random kiss in the bathroom with a beaten up movie star is surprisingly one of the best kisses you ever had.
You pull away and so does Johnny. He has a knowing look in his eyes as he stares you down with grin on his face, as if he expects for you praise him for how good the kiss was.
It was, but you didn't feel like feeding Johnny's ego. "It was alright." You say as you rise out to your feet. "Oh come on!" Johnny insists as you walk away.
It was truly an amazing kiss, but you refused to let him see how flustered he had you as you lean against the wall outside the bathroom to catch your breath and regain his composure, his ego was big enough.
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vintagetimetarot · 11 months ago
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Message from your future spouses higher self 🌹
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Hi everyone! It’s been so long since I posted a PAC. So sorry! My mental health hasn’t been great. But I finally mustered up some motivation for a reading today. This is whatever your future spouses higher self wants to bring to light to you. Let’s go! Pick a vinatge image below for your pile. (Side note, a lot of the piles were very similar, so if you feel drawn to more than one, go for it!)
Pile 1: The message your future spouse’s higher self wants to tell you is that that are genuinely so proud on how far you have come in life. They can’t wait to finally meet you, they say that your union isn’t super far away. They want to let you know that once they come into your life, they’ll be your biggest cheerleader and number one support. They think you are the most beautiful, graceful, and talented person they’ve ever met. They wish they could just hold you all night. They want to let you know that your relationship is not one sided at all, even though it may come off that way when you two first meet. They just love you so much! They also pick up that you haven’t been emotionally feeling great, they are here to remind you how beautiful of a person you are and why they fell in love with you. They really want to emphasize how true their connection is with you. That’s all Pile 1, I hope this resonated.
Pile 2: Your future spouses higher self wants you to know that whatever struggles your dealing with right now are about to end. They know how amazing you are and are telling you they have 100% faith that you will get through whatever is going on. They are letting you know divine timing is on your side, and things are going unfold into a happy place naturally. They admire how you’ve been handling everything with such grace, they think you are so beautiful/handsome for this. They are telling you to look for signs (birds and rabbits for some reason may resonate) of your union coming closer. Just hold on a little longer! Even outside of your love life, good offers and opportunities are coming to you, and you need to embrace them is what your future spouse is saying. Materially, you are in for a really good time, and it’s going to get even better once they come into your life. Your future spouse is well off, and will try to share this with you by giving gifts and taking you to nice places and such when you first meet/start dating. They are here to tell you that are very excited for you guys to meet and are very excited. That’s all Pile 2, I hope this resonated!
Pile 3: Your future spouses higher self wants your to trust your gut more and believe in yourself! They love every part of you and are asking you to not be so ashamed of yourself. You are a hard and generous worker, and they want you to start recognizing your power and your influence. You bring so much positive energy into your family and friends lives, and especially theirs. They want to tell you they just love you so deeply. They want to let you know when they come into your life, they will rush in so fast. (The Elvis song came to mind lmao). They want you to be patient with them as they are charmer and experienced at love, but have their fallacies sometimes. They like to put you on a pedestal I see. They want to remind you to keep making good choices in your life. Your skill and dedication to things is something they admire and wish for you to keep up. Keep up the good work is what they say! That’s all Pile 3, I hope it resonated!
Pile 4: Your future spouses higher self wants to be more assertive for yourself in love so you can attract them into your life sooner. They are ITCHING to just meet you already. They consider themselves lucky knowing you are their future partner. Your future spouse is saying to keep your standards high and to not settle for breadcrumbs. The relationship they are about to give you will be beautiful and the romance of a lifetime, but you need to trust the process. As you both balance your lives and keep moving forward, the closer this connection gets. You are a natural born leader and they want you to assert and put yourself or there more. You have such a bright future ahead of you right now, and they just wanna tell you that you should be excited and happy. They think that you’ve been doing a good job, but wanted to serve this to you as a huge reminder. You bring so much life and light into people’s lives and you have amazing gifts, they are screaming at you to start using them! That’s all Pile 4, I hope it resonated.
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revelboo · 3 months ago
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You are literally feeding my starscream needs. Someone I know talked me into seeing transformers one and I can never tell him about the robot fetish that developed because of it 😭 it altered my brain chemistry so fast
Welcome to the dark side, we have thirst
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Everything is Alright pt 35
Starscream x Reader- jealousy
• It almost feels like trespassing, moving through your space. Even mass displaced, the door had been too narrow and locked besides, but it hadn’t taken much effort to rip it free of the frame. His wings and helm scrape the ceiling as he moves through the house, the damage unimportant. You’re never returning to this place, but it was yours. His wings gouge into the walls in the hallway, knocking down things no matter how he holds them. On a table beside a plush chair is a picture of you and another human, an arm about you as you both smile. Happy. He knocks the picture off the table in passing. The sound of breaking glass so satisfying, because that person, that moment is from before he found you. A life he knows nothing about and for some reason, that bothers him.
• It’s easy to find your sleeping space, your scent lingering everywhere. Realizing getting your things out through the bedroom door is going to be problematic, he steps back and blasts a hole in the wall. Begins to ferry things out in a pile he’ll be able to pick up when he returns to his full size. You’ll be pleased with him, thank him. Smile up at him like you did in that picture and warmth spreads through his spark. Picking up a red and blue checkered covering, his servos crush the material, because the scent on it isn’t yours. The human in the photo? Even though the they seem to be gone, haven’t come for you, anger sparks through him. This human shared your space? A mate? Running his glossa over his denta, he lets the covering drop, unsettled by how furious the thought makes him. How off balance when it shouldn’t matter, you’re his now.
• That human’s scent and yours both on the bed has him ripping the sheets off, wings trembling with the need to hunt that stranger down for touching what’s his. Ripping drawers free to dump your coverings on top of the bed. His servos won’t stop shaking, that anger a living thing because now he’s thinking of that human touching his caged little bird. Holding you while you sleep against them. No longer trying to not disturb your space, he rips open cabinets, taking anything you might like or need, most of it just weird and alien. When he’s satisfied, he steps outside and mass shifts, scooping up your things. And then slowly and methodically destroys the house. Destroys the reminder that you had a life before him, but also every trace of that stranger.
• Head laying on Ravage’s side, you wheeze as Lazerbeak lands on you hard enough to knock the breath out of you, not seeming to realize or care how heavy he is. Soundwave is busily typing away at his desk, and the huge mecha panther was warm, sprawled out, and hadn’t immediately snapped at you for trying to heat leech. Apparently, Lazerbeak had the same idea, though and while heavy, he’s also warm. You’re not sure where Rumble and Frenzy are, but also fairly sure you wouldn’t be so relaxed if they were here. Ravage and Lazerbeak much mellower and a lot more tolerant of being clung to.
• Head tipping to covertly check on the human and cassettes curled together on a corner of his desk, his spark twists a bit, because it feels right. Like you belong there with them. He might not particularly care for Starscream, but he did bring you to him and he’s grateful for it. Not that he’ll ever bring it up to the Seeker. As territorial as he is, it might drive him to make more of an effort to keep his pet isolated. It’s only Starscream’s worry that he might use you to hurt him that keeps the Seeker in line. Like he’d tell Megatron about you knowing the likely outcome. On the corner of his desk, your breathing evens out as you fall asleep. Feeling safe with him, home where you belong.
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crystallilytarot · 6 months ago
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Things you should do to improve your life, selfcare things you should do for yourself
Choose an animal!
Pile 1
You should choose your battles wisely! Sure, stand up for yourself, but sometimes that fight don't worth it. This will be different for everybody, but there are things you should let go. Not for others, but for your own wellbeing. I think you are planning something, and it's good to be prepared. You probably need to make a decision or to choose between things. I think you still have time, you can search about this and really choose wisely. Maybe you can have some alone time to think about this, but also just for self reflection, finding answers within you. If you can, you should really go to a vacation, just a little trip is okay, even going for a walk. And for some of you especially somewhere near water, maybe even swimming or some water sport. You can try some affirmations to be more positive and optimistic. Though if it's a more serious problem, don't be afraid to seek professional help! Everybody has feelings, and you can let yourself feel, bad or good emotions too. You can cry, if you feel like it, you can be silly, laugh loudly. Don't hide this side of you. For some of you, maybe you can try be naked more at home, to accept yourself and really embrace your sensual side too!
Pile 2
You are a hard working person and it will pay off! But in the meantime, don't drain yourself completely! Try to find balance, rest more, especially have enough sleep. Recharge your energy. You probably worry a lot, but you do everything, so trust the process, trust in the Universe! Yes, you can't see everything, but it's not good to expect bad things and be anxious about it. Maybe you can drink some herbs, but cocoa is good too, anything that makes you feel good and relaxed. You can also try meditation or breathing exercises. Please, don't give up hope, have a little faith! It will be okay! Also have faith in yourself too, you are very capable, you can do it! It doesn't matter what happened in the past, don't listen to negative people. You can plan ahead and that way you won't worry so much. Also do something active, any sport you like, or dance. But I think for some of you, even sex would be a good thing to de-stress yourself. You should let out those frustration, anger and worry in some way you enjoy. You deserve to enjoy your life too. It's not just about working. You can do something creative too, you don't have to be good at it. Maybe there's something you always wanted to try, so why not?
Pile 3
You are very smart, you should know it. I think you have some leader energy, so if you want to be in a higher position, get a promotion, better grades, studying in a good university, it can be anything, you have a very good chance to success! I think you are already working on it, or you working on some project, and it's hard, but don't give up now, you are very close to achieve your goals! Just keep going! But also, take your time to enjoy your achievements too. Don't make a lot of big plan. Not because you can't do it, but you should enjoy your money too. You should probably go out a little more, be with your friends. If there's an event, concert, movie, anything you wanted to go, just go. And things maybe don't always happening as you planned, but it's still can be good, so be open minded in everything. Go with the flow a little bit. You can try something new too, don't be afraid! I think you can try to visualize, if you want to manifest. Also pay attention to your dreams! Finding balance is important here too. You don't have to be wise in every situation, sometimes we can listen to our heart too.
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redroomreflections · 3 months ago
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Moments of Reflection
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Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
A Family of Her Own Series
Masterlist | General Masterlist
w/c: 3.3k
Summary: After the fall of the Avengers, Natasha Romanoff returns home to her secret family—a life she's carefully hidden away for years. Struggling to balance her role as a mother and wife while avoiding the dangers of her past, Natasha is forced to make difficult decisions that impact her loved ones.
This Chapter: R has a talk with Melina. Natasha has to leave again.
Folding clothes shouldn’t be this soothing. Sorting them into their tiny baskets takes time. You hadn’t realized how gender-assigned you’d made the clothes, but the pinks and blues for the kids stand in contrast, a soft reminder of how much life has changed. The brand-new washer and dryer Natasha sent months ago shouldn’t be this exciting, but here you are, finding comfort in the hum of the machine and the rhythmic folding of small socks and onesies.
The warmth of the laundry room, with its clean scent of detergent, is a small escape—a moment of calm in the chaos. You lose yourself in the motion, piece by piece, letting the repetition lull your thoughts away from the noise of the house. For just a little while, it’s quiet. No responsibilities beyond sorting clothes and making neat piles.
The door creaks open, and you glance up, half-expecting Natasha or even Stella. But it’s Melina, Natasha’s mother, lingering in the doorway. Her presence is quiet, but it’s still a disruption to the small space you’ve carved out for yourself. You force a smile, hoping she doesn’t stay long. You just need a little more time alone.
“I hope I’m not interrupting." Melina says with a tentative smile.
You shake your head, your hands still moving automatically as you fold a tiny pair of pants. “No, it’s fine." It would be rude to dismiss the first guests you’ve had in months.
She steps inside, her eyes sweeping over the laundry, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
"I wanted to thank you.”
You pause, mid-fold, blinking at her in surprise. “For what?"
Melina watches you for a moment, then glances at the clothes in your hands—the tiny, everyday items that somehow make up the world you’ve built here with Natasha.
"For loving my daughter."
The words hit you harder than you expect. You set the pants down, focusing on the soft fabric beneath your fingers to steady yourself. It’s rare that anyone acknowledges the quiet work you put in to hold everything together—the small sacrifices, the late nights, the constant worry.
You look up at her, searching her face for more, unsure what to say. Melina steps forward, folding her arms, her voice soft but steady.
“I know Natasha doesn’t talk about these things, but I see it. I see what you’ve done for her, for your family.“
Your throat tightens at her words. You try to keep your emotions in check, but it’s hard, especially after the weeks you’ve had.
You manage a small smile, though your voice is quieter than you intend. “I love her. I always will."
Melina nods, her eyes soft with understanding. There’s a pause, thick with unspoken things, before she speaks again.
“What is your secret?” Melina begins and your head snaps up. “To getting her to love you.”
You let out a breathless laugh, glancing at the pile of unfolded clothes, unsure how to respond. Melina waits, watching you carefully.
Your thoughts turn back to the years you spent trying to reach Natasha, to get her to let you in. Not that you were any easier to deal with. Being SHIELD used to mean something. It took a lot to prove yourself to those around you. It took a lot to let someone in.
Melina steps closer, tilting her head. "She would never admit it, but Natasha is different. She has always been different."
"That's what made her such a good spy." You muse. “There’s no secret.”
She hums, thoughtful."I know it will take time for her to forgive me,” Melina says.
“You’re here, right,” You interrupt and Melina tilts her head. There’s a question at the tip of her tongue. “There are only four, maybe five, people that know about this place. That know about us. Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton and Laura Barton. Five if you include Nick Fury who knows everything. Now you and your family.”
Her lips twitch and she nods.
"She loves you."
Melina's expression softens, and she reaches out to feel the fabric of Nick’s onesie. "I wish things could be different,” She seems lost in a memory.
You watch her. Your chest feels heavy. There are so many things that you could have done differently, too.
"We can't change the past. Only learn from it."
Melina sighs, looking at the piles of baby clothes.
“She’s a good mother,” You say. “A great one. When life allows her to be one.”
Melina smiles at you, and you realize how much older she is, the lines around her eyes and lips a soft testament to a long and complicated life. You wonder how old she really is.
“I never doubted it,” Melina sighs. “Not that she had a lot to learn from. I was…”
“You did what you could with what you had,” You offer.
She gives you a grateful look.
"Thank you," She repeats, and you're not sure what to do with that.
You smile. You've never been good at taking compliments, especially from someone like Melina.
“I now have three daughters.” Melina gesture to you.
It takes a moment for the words to sink in. You can only blink at her, not sure what to make of it.
Melina turns away, moving to the doorway. She pauses, her hand resting on the frame.
“She wants to be here,” She says knowingly. “She wants to be home with you and your children.”
There's a part of you that wants to argue, but the rest of you can't bring yourself to deny it. Not when she's looking at you with such sincerity.
You nod, and Melina leaves you with a gentle smile.
****
You didn’t want this time to come. Saying goodbye is always hard. Your love walking out of the door will always break you into a million tiny pieces.
This life you have here with Natasha is golden. You could only wish she’d be here to see it all. It’s the middle of the night. They leave soon. Their hushed plans and low whispers will be no more. You will be alone again. You will be the one to wipe Stella’s tears. You will be the one to hold Nicky.
As you turn the knob off in the shower, your head begins to spin. The water is still hot. You step out, almost jumping when you see Natasha standing before you.
She looks exhausted, dark circles under her eyes. Her hair is damp and pulled into a ponytail, her clothes wrinkled and damp with sweat. She must have just come from training with Melina and Alexei.
“I thought I’d join you,” She says with an unsure smirk.
“I’m already done,” You shake your head. You don’t mean to be short with her.
You push past her, wrapping a towel around yourself. She doesn’t move.
It feels like an eternity since she’s seen you this intimately. You can feel her eyes on you as you slip a tank top over your head, the cotton clinging to your damp skin.
You turn back to her, and she takes a step forward, reaching out and pulling the elastic from her hair. Her red locks tumble free, cascading around her shoulders.
You swallow, feeling the tension rising in the air.
“I’m going to check on the kids,” You swallow. “I um, I left some hot water for you.”
Natasha nods, but you don't wait for her response. You slip past her, padding quietly through the hallway.
When you step into the nursery, Nicky is asleep. He lies on his stomach, lips puckered, with a serene look on his face. You’d pushed his crib back into his room with the help of Natasha’s dad. Not that you needed it. But the sight of the big man cradling the baby was adorable.
Stella is asleep in her bed. It took a lot of convincing this time to get her to sleep. She doesn't want her Mama to leave. You can't blame her.
You sigh, your eyes moving to the window. It's a full moon tonight, the stars bright and shining in the clear sky. You sit with Stella a little longer before retreating to your bedroom.
You slide under the covers, closing your eyes, while listening to the constant noise of the shower. It's soothing.
After a while, the water shuts off. You hear the rustling of clothes, the bathroom door opening and closing, and the click of the light. You don't open your eyes.
“I don’t want to leave like this,” Natasha interrupts your peace.
You look at her, her eyes sad, her expression tired.
She sits down on the edge of the bed. Her hands are folded in her lap.
She looks like she wants to say something.
“Nat…” You trail off. You don’t know what to say.
Natasha sighs. She glances up, her eyes locking onto yours.
"I'm sorry.” She says, her voice soft. She climbs into the bed to sit beside you. She presses herself up against your body. “I’m sorry.”
"I don't want you to go," Your voice cracks. "But you have to."
Natasha lets out a ragged breath.
"I wish things could be different," she whispers, her voice wavering.
“They can be,” You urge. "Please. Come back to us. Come back to me. To the kids."
Natasha's brow creases, and she swallows thickly. She opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out.
“I want that more than anything,” She replies.
"Then stay."
"I can't."
You shake your head, fighting the ache in your throat. "I can't lose you."
"You won't."
You close your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Okay.”
Natasha shifts closer. She reaches out and strokes your hair. You lean into the touch.
"I love you," She murmurs.
You look up at her, a weak smile playing on your lips. “I love you too.”
You sit in silence for a while. Her hands trail across your shoulders, down your back, tracing patterns on your skin.
It feels good.
She moves her hand to the nape of your neck, tugging gently. You lean in and meet her halfway. Your lips press together, soft and sweet.
The kiss is slow and tender, and Natasha pulls back.
"I've missed you," She murmurs, her lips brushing yours.
"I've missed you, too."
You pull her in, your hands sliding under her shirt. Her skin is warm and smooth, and her muscles ripple beneath your touch. She moans softly, her body arching toward yours.
“Tell me you want this,” Natasha breathes.
You nod, letting out a shaky breath.
Natasha leans in, kissing you hungrily. You whimper as her teeth graze your lower lip, and her tongue slips inside. She runs her hands along your thighs, pushing the tank top further up your body. You’re grateful for the dim lighting surrounding you. She can’t see the remaining baby weight or the stretch marks. You’re not so vain but the insecurities are still there.
Natasha pulls back, her eyes flicking up to yours. Her pupils are dilated, her lips parted slightly. She looks beautiful.
She kisses you again, her hands cupping your breasts, squeezing lightly.
“Do you usually sleep without panties or was this for me all along?” She whispers into your ear.
You shiver, goosebumps breaking out across your skin.
"Both," You manage, and she grins.
She pushes you back against the pillows and settles between your legs, her mouth moving down your neck, kissing and nipping.
Her fingers brush over your nipples, pinching and tugging lightly. You squirm beneath her, trying not to make a sound.
She kisses her way down your chest, trailing her lips across the curve of your breasts. She pauses, her tongue swirling around your nipple, and then she sucks gently.
You gasp, arching into her mouth. Her other hand moves to your other breast, massaging and squeezing.
Your hands slide into her hair, tugging lightly, and she moans against your skin.
She pulls back, looking up at you.
"I love the way you taste," She purrs.
"I love the way you taste." You echo.
She smirks, sliding a hand down between your legs.
You bite back a moan as her fingers tease your entrance. She presses two digits inside you, pumping slowly, curling them up towards her.
You grip the sheets tightly, struggling to keep quiet.
"God, you're so wet," She breathes. "So ready for me."
You moan, rolling your hips into her touch. You close your eyes as you allow yourself to feel.
Her thumb brushes over your clit, sending sparks through your body.
"Natasha," You gasp, clutching the sheets tighter.
"So sexy,” She groans as you widen your legs for her.
She leans forward and licks up the length of your pussy, making you whimper.
She swirls her tongue around your clit, teasing and stroking, and you moan louder than you mean to.
"That's right, baby," She growls. "Let me hear you."
You writhe beneath her, grinding against her face, desperate for more.
She pushes her fingers deeper, pumping faster, her tongue flickering over your clit.
“I want you up here,” You beg.
She places one last kiss on your clit, lovingly, before she rises to look into your eyes. She never stops pumping her fingers.
"Tell me what you want." She demands, her voice low and husky.
"I want you," You whisper. She kisses you again, swallowing your moans as they come. She curls her fingers, angling them in the way she knows makes you crazy.
"I want to see you," You whimper. "All of you."
Natasha smirks, slowing her pace.
"I'm all yours, babe."
She leans down, her lips ghosting over yours, her fingers still buried deep within you.
"I love you," She murmurs, kissing you again.
"I love you," You echo, reaching for the hem of her shirt.
You tug at it, and she lets go, allowing you to pull it off.
Your hands roam over her skin, admiring her toned body. You kiss her neck, her collarbone, her shoulder. You want to memorize every inch of her.
You tug on her shorts, and she shimmies out of them. She tosses them to the side.
"Fuck, I want you," She growls, pressing her lips against yours.
"Then take me," You reply, running your hands along her back. What happens after is a blur. You’re too blinded by the sheer pleasure coursing through you as she thrust harder.
You cling to her, gasping and panting, as you reach your peak.
"Yes!" She moans, burying her face in the crook of your neck.
"Yes!" You echo, feeling yourself fall apart.
Your orgasm hits you hard, waves of pleasure rippling through your body. You don’t anticipate the tears that follow but when you feel her kissing them away you know this was way more emotional than intended. All you needed was your wife. All you wanted was her.
You lie tangled in each other, her breath hot against your neck. You close your eyes, letting the warmth wash over you.
You stay like this for a while, savoring the closeness.
“I will come home,” Natasha promises. She nuzzles into you.
You nod, trying not to think about tomorrow.
"We can do this."
"We can do this." She nods.
“Do you need it?” You ask.
She nods.
It doesn't take long for you to attach the strap to your body. Her body reacts the way it always does. She arches into your touch as you slide it inside her.
You thrust gently, easing her open, watching her expression. She gasps, gripping the sheets.
“I love you,” You whisper to her. You know the both of you should be a bit more mindful of your guests across the hall.But this feels so fucking good.
She moans, biting her lip.
"I love you," She whimpers. "Don't stop."
You roll your hips, driving into her harder. You grip her hips, ramming yourself into her at a brutal pace, as she wheezes below you.
She's so beautiful, her body quivering, her cheeks flushed, her eyes screwed shut.
"God, baby," She groans.
"So tight," You moan. "Shit." You groan as you thrust.
She cries out, her fingers digging into your arms.
"Fuck," She gasps. "More."
You pick up the pace, pounding into her, grunting with the effort. She’s needed this release. This time with you. She doesn’t want you to be soft with her.
She whimpers, her back arching, her head thrown back.
"Yes," She moans.
"Cum for me," You demand as you rub her clit. "Now."
She trembles, her body convulsing.
"Fuck, Y/N," She moans.
Her legs lock around you, her toes curling.
"Good girl," You praise, slowing your movements.
She whines, her chest heaving.
"Y/N," She whispers.
You lean down and kiss her gently.
"I love you," You murmur.
She sighs contentedly, her eyes drifting closed.
“I know you’re tired,” You say. “We both are. But we will get through it. For better or for worse, right.”
"Forever," She agrees, her voice soft.
She reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
You rest your head against her shoulder, letting her hold you.
"We're going to be okay."
"Yeah, we will."
You close your eyes, enjoying the feeling of being wrapped in her arms.
She strokes your back.
"You're amazing," She whispers. "And beautiful."
You snuggle closer, basking in the warmth of her embrace.
You drift off to the sound of her heartbeat.
****
In the morning it’s time to say goodbye. She’s standing in the middle of the living room, settling Stella with her Barbies. Stella’s demeanor is more relaxed but cautious . She knows what’s about to happen. Nicky is sitting on the floor beside her, his stuffed lamb tucked under his arm.
He doesn't seem to notice his m his mother. He's far too focused on the toy in his hands.
“I will be back,” Natasha promises. “I love you and your brother so much.”
Stella nods.
You swallow, holding back tears.
“Don’t miss my birthday,” Stella says.
Natasha blinks.
"I won't," She assures her. "I'll be there, baby girl."
"Okay," Stella nods.
Natasha smiles, kneeling down and kissing Stella's forehead. She leans over to do the same to Nicky.
"Love you," She murmurs. She knows to make the goodbyes quick. She’s already hugged and kissed you. She’s almost to the door when Stella drops her dolls and races over to her.
“Mama,” Stella whispers.
Natasha turns around.
"Yes, moya malen'kaya vorobey?"
Stella wraps her arms around her, hugging her tightly.
"Don’t go,” She says, her voice cracking.
Natasha's eyes well up with tears, and she pulls Stella close.
"I have to," She says softly. "But I'll come back.”
“No,” Stella demands.
Natasha looks up at you, a sad smile playing on her lips.
You sigh, wiping away the tears that stream down your cheeks.
"It's okay," You reassure her. You reach down to grab Stella, managing to keep a grip on her, even as she fights you to get to Natasha.
"We'll be here," You promise.
Natasha takes a deep breath, her shoulders slumping.
"Okay," She whispers.
You hold onto Stella as her cries turn into screams for her Mama. Your baby shouldn’t have to feel this hurt. Natasha walks steadily out of the door and across the grass to the helicopters. She tries to ignore the crying.
Stella watches her mother leave, her heart breaking.
You watch her walk away.
When the doors to the helicopter shut, Stella goes limp.
“I want Mama,” She whimpers, her voice now hoarse.
“I know, baby. I want her too,” You cry.
You rock her until her breathing slows. Until her cries die down and she drifts off to sleep.
You stand there for a few moments, watching as the helicopter disappears over the horizon.
And then, you turn and head back inside.
You lay Stella on the couch and cover her with a blanket.
You take a seat on the floor beside her.
You watch her sleep, her tiny hands fisted, her face wet with tears. Nicky crawls into your lap, seemingly upset by all the commotion.
"It's okay," You tell him, stroking his hair.
It will all be okay. She promised.
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