#But im a bleeding heart liberal what do i know right :/

[freebooter4ever]

On a more serious note, (i've been mostly thinking about it in relation to jarry) but im really not sure i like how the league penalizes teams with injuries - in this case the canes. If there is so little wiggle room that a few injuries on key players can completely transform the make up of a team's offense capabilities....it just feels unfair. There is currently zero wiggle room - we've seen it with goal tenders especially (except for that crazy pens game LOL) where the team has ONE highly skilled goalie and if the team gets unlucky they could be set back for months. It incentivizes playing while injured/not fully healed (i strongly suspect this is what keeps happening with jars). It puts teams in the position of you either get lucky and stay healthy for an entire season, OR decide to risk permanent injury for the sake of the team. Its not a new problem - i remember reading something similar in the books on detroit's cup winning team. But it seems like something that is reasonable to change to make player's lives less fraught.

[batz-zzz]

Oooh Vega and taunting? You just made a scenario pop into my head.

(Okay, so this would be if what happened at the stadium wasn't just a localized incident, and it was happening elsewhere. Specially where the warden and Vega are)

The warden is down, injured, drained from trying to protect their human coworkers when the wards came down under the panic and fear and confusion. Which only got worse when the beings that had been imprisoned weren't held back anymore.

Cue Vega finding them, maybe even saving them after he's fed. His burning eyes staring down at them before he smirks.

"My dear warden, you've seen better days. Look at you...it's truly lamentable, isn't it? For one such as yourself to be brought this low...how much of yourself did you give to protect those humans?"

Vega knelt down, using one of those large hands to cup under their chin to angle their gaze up to his. "You're almost wasted away. And they didn't hesitate to leave you behind. You're just another Feeder to them, after all. And to them, you served your purpose." His voice softened, pitying as he shook his head.

"I tried to warn you, darling. Humans are such selfish creatures. I know exactly how dark and twisted they are, even if they try to hide it. But I don't have to tell you that, do I? You can feel it just as well as I can. If I hadn't turned up when I did, well, we wouldn't be having this chat right now, to say the least."

"As I see it, you have a choice to make. You can either stay here. Be the little martyr that they won't even remember past tomorrow. Just another footnote in a file for the next bleeding heart they convince to fill your shoes."

"Or, you can come with me. Let me remind you of what it means to be a demon. To be free. To throw off the shackles they burdened you with to drag you down to their level. Let me show you your true value, darling."

"Well? The clock's ticking, warden. And I don't find myself with much patience at the moment. What will it be?"

OOUUHHHHUHUUHHHUOIHHHHHH OHH OH OH OH UUUUUUUU U ARE SO GALAXY BRAINED DUDE

im i i i i. i. i love this scenario actually and itd be SUCH a cool way to get into the wardens ever looming corruption (liberation???? 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯) arc AUUUGHHHHGHG

and and and maybe its just be being a vega lover but i can imagine after the time him and the warden have spent together, while part of him just wants the opportunity to cause more chaos for humans, i feel like half of him genuinely would just want them to be free and not chained to their responsibilities and living their life being overworked and underappreciated

.,,,..,,,,, v. ,,, vega and warden,,,,...,,,, chaotic and mean power couple,,..... just a couple of ne'er do wells ..,,. .,,,,..,,............ so many thoughts..,,,............

[vannahfanfics]

congrats vannah!!! your lists were amazing and it seems like so much effort, im so proud of you! could i please get aizawa and white please? thank you!

Hey! Thank you so much for requesting for the event, and I’m sorry it took so long! Medical school was very tough for me, so I ended up putting requests on the backburner for a very long time… But finally, it’s here! White symbolizes hospitals, death, and sadness, so… I’m sorry to inflict this upon you, but here’s Aizawa in the wake of the war with the Paranormal Liberation Front. Spoilers for the recent manga chapters!

Drinks on Me

“Hey, this weekend, let’s all go out and get drinks on me!” Nemuri smiled prettily, her long legs crossed as she swiveled back and forth in her chair across from Shota. “It’s been so long since we’ve all been out together. You never know, it could be our last chance!” she grinned while sticking out her tongue and winking playfully. She always said things like that, portents of doom and gloom hidden behind a winning smile, to rope Shota into joining her and Hizashi at clubs and bars. 

He should have regarded those for what they really were— omens. 

Shota jerked awake, snorting as his muscles spasmed. He laid there for a moment as he clumsily acclimated to the waking world, staring blearily at the ceiling fan spinning slowly above his head. When he finally realized that he was in bed, he exhaled deeply and reached up to rub his eyes with the heels of his palms. In the midst of his fitful sleep, he’d kicked the sheets off himself; the layer of nervous sweat on his skin absorbed the cold wind pushed down by the fan, coating him in a chill. Too exhausted to even bother pulling the covers back over himself, he flopped his arm back down to stare listlessly at the ceiling. 

The stump where his leg used to be throbbed painfully, almost as if it were aware he was awake now. He still hadn’t accustomed to the loss of his limb, nor the phantom pains plaguing his nervous system. Even now, he found himself groping for his calf, trying to ease the ache; but he couldn’t massage empty air, so it continued to burn dully, seeping down all the way into his sawed bone. 

Groaning, he pulled himself up into a sitting position, grasping the headboard as he hauled himself up. The rest of his body had endured a beating as well, making pain thrum through his nerves to shoot to his spine. He winced and grasped his shoulder, massaging the inflamed flesh until it quieted. He felt like an old man, much older than he ought to— tired, achy, defeated. He inhaled deeply, gathering the will to put on his prosthetic leg. His muscles tweaked in protest as he did, but as he gradually woke up his body and fastened the prosthetic to the stump below his knee, the pain faded into the background. 

He limped across his room to his closet, stumbling a little and using the dresser to catch himself. He hadn’t mastered navigating with his new leg, either. He took a moment to catch his breath, sweat already blooming on his clammy forehead, before tottering his way to the closet. He couldn’t tolerate dressing normally— not that he had impeccable fashion sense anyway— so he eased himself into a pair of black sweats and a gray tee and some sneakers. He tied his hair in a loose bun before shambling out the door. 

The dorm was alive with activity, but not the normal kind that Shota had become accustomed to. The air hummed with nervous energy as the students— and their parents, who were moving in to keep them safe— flitted about. Most of his pupils still sported injuries from the massive battle several days ago, bandages peeking out from beneath their clothes. But the worst injuries were the ones you couldn’t see, the ones on their hearts still oozing blood and bursting through the stitches at the slightest insult. They would be scars someday, an afterthought until the phantom pains struck when they least expected it. 

Theirs would, but not Shota’s. No, Shota’s inner wounds never really healed— and this newest one definitely would bleed for the rest of his life. 

A few of them greeted Shota quietly as he limped down the hall heading for the front door. Momo came up to him, asking if she could help him with anything— she had always been such a considerate girl, that one. He smiled and ruffled her poofy black hair, telling her that he was quite all right but thanks anyway. Shota could sure use some help, but there was no aid that any of his students could provide for him. He could feel Momo’s watery eyes boring into his back as he toddled out of the building. 

There were so many things that people took for granted every day. The ability to walk down steps without falling flat on your ass was one of them. Shota grimaced as he inched down the steps of the dorm, holding out one arm to seek purchase though there was nothing to grip onto. Somehow, he made it down to the sidewalk without eating shit, but the effort still left sweat beading in the crease lines of his forehead. He blew an irritated breath through his lips and raked his hand over his wavy black hair, taking a moment to let the pain pass before moving on. 

Though this region of the city had been spared the carnage of the war with the Paranormal Liberation Front, its effects reached even the city around U.A. There weren’t nearly as many people on the street; Shota was alone most of his commute to the business district, save for the occasional person rushing down the street with suspicious eyes and fearful breaths. Shota could feel eyes on him everywhere, though; nervous onlookers peering out their curtains and blinds, suspicious of everyone in sight. They were all waiting for the inevitable pin to drop, for the next piece in this godawful chess game to move and tell them their next poor fortune. Things would get worse before they got better; everyone knew it, the hapless civilians most of all. Their hope in heroes was teetering on the edge of a knife; if they strayed but a little, everything would fall into ruin. 

Many small business owners had closed up shop to skip town, but the liquor store was still open. A pleasant bell chimed as Shota opened the door. The cashier apparently still wasn’t getting much business, as he leaned back in a chair with his feet propped up on the counter, reading the newspaper. As Shota began to walk through the aisles searching for a particular brand of rum, the cashier decided that apparently the news was too dismal to read because he crumpled it up and tossed it in the trash bin. 

“Warmongers, the lot of them journalists,” he spat at Shota, who raised his eyebrows at him over the top of the rum bottles he was surveying. “All they’re doin’ is makin’ things worse.” 

“Do you have faith in heroes?” Shota asked and looked back down, fingers skimming over the glass bottles emblazoned with coconut trees and beach zines. He smirked when the old cashier snorted derisively. 

“Sonny, I been around a long time. This ain’t the first time some upstart has whipped everyone up in a frenzy. The heroes always come out on top because that’s what they do.” 

“That’s some unshakable faith you have there,” Shota remarked while plucking his chosen bottle from the rack. He rounded the rack while the cashier hopped up from his chair so he could check Shota out. 

“Eh, it comes with age. Nothing rattles ya anymore,” he shrugged, grabbing the bottle to scan it. He put it in a brown paper bag and punched a few of the keys into the cash register. “O’course, a little liquid courage always helps, eh?” he added with a wink. Shota smirked at that, sliding over his credit card. He took the bottle by the neck, crinkling the paper around it. 

“Thanks for the advice. Do I need to pay you for that too?” Shota joked. 

“Nah, it’s on me this time,” the man responded with a chortle, sliding Shota’s card back. Shota took it and slid it back into his wallet, then bid him a good night. When he walked out, the sun had risen into the sky and was blessing the earth with its warm rays. Yet they didn’t kiss Shota’s skin; a lingering chill wafted around him, blocking out all the warmth to leave him cold. Eventually, he’d feel the sun again, he knew that— but he had a while to go. 

It was a short walk to the graveyard. The iron was hot under his fingers as he pushed the unlocked gate open, and it creaked loudly as if to protest. The small gravel marking the winding, meandering path through the various headstones crunched under his feet as he made his way down, counting the rows. At row seven, he turned and walked down until he found a clean headstone above a freshly-turned patch of dirt, a rectangle the size of a person. 

Sighing, Shota eased himself down onto his knees, his prosthetic leg stretching out beside him— it was easier on his hip that way. He pulled the brown paper bag off the bottle of rum and then broke the faux gold foil seal. He stared down at it a second, just stared, and then exhaled quietly. 

“Hey, Nem,” he murmured. He reached up with his free hand to stroke the top of the stone, which was warmed by the bright spring sun. He fell silent again, throat bobbing as the emotions he’d been surprising for days welled up inside of him. The tears bubbled up and spilled over his eyes, carving through the layer of nightsweat and grime coating his unwashed face to bead in his beard. “I miss you, Nem,” he said finally, voice cracking. “So much.” 

His hand shook as it continued to run over the unblemished stone, down over the carved letters reading Kayama Nemuri. He leaned forward to press his forehead against the rock, closing his eyes and squeezing out more of the salty tears. “I never did take you up on that offer for drinks,” he said with a wan smile despite the despair tearing his heart apart. “So I brought you your favorite, on me.” He leaned back, then lifted the bottle to spill the alcohol over the gravestone. The light gray rock darkened as the clear liquid gushed over it, spilling over the smooth surface in rivers. It streamed down to soak into the grass at its base, soaking up the earth down, down, down to Nemuri’s casket six feet under. Shota didn’t drink a drop of the rum; he poured every bit of it over her gravemarker for her to enjoy. 

He sat there for a while, even after the hot sun had begun to evaporate the alcohol absorbed by the porous stone. Somehow, sitting there watching the color fade back to normal was cathartic. Like Nemuri was there, enjoying that rum. He could see the smile playing over her lips as she stirred a straw around a piña colada— and that’s when Shota felt the kiss of the sun, warming up his skin. He looked up to squint at the bubbling circle in the sky, then back down at the gravestone. Smirking, he patted the slightly damp rock before using it as leverage to push himself up. 

“Thanks, Nem. I’ll be back sometime, with drinks on me, of course,” he chuckled. He couldn’t linger here all day; he had work to do. Some upstart was out there whipping everyone up in a frenzy, and it was up to the heroes to bring him to justice. When they did, Shota would be sure to bring Nemuri a whole liquor store’s worth of rum— on him, of course. 

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

[yievie]

whew! what’s up everyone! my name is crissy and yes, i am the clown who sent my account ask on anonymous last night. luv that for me! I GOT A COOL FAMILY ICON IM CRYING!!! now this is yi eun hye, better known as evelyn yi or evie, paging dr. sexy md don’t call her that though, she’ll kill you omg the second eldest princess of the four neglected korean princess sisters aka the mom friend sister or the buzzkill responsible sister. 

~`click anywhere here for a link to my app ~

under the cut i’m gonna throw some important personality and background stuff along with maybe? half-formed plot ideas? if not i’ll make a follow up post later, but pls like this plot if you wish to plot, i’ll try to come bother u. my ims are open hmu anytime (also bc im anxious af to b first message bc im BABY) and I ALSO have a discord located at quarantine queen#2918 where i’m usually v v v active. (lmk if u cant add me shoot me a message on here and ill fix it) ok imma shut up here is cranky daughter! ITS LONG SRRY

( pS: also if my blog is too hard to read just stick /mobile on the end of the url xx )

background 

the empress and emperor of korea had 5 kids, 4 daughters, 1 pampered son and evie was the second oldest daughter after dianna but like, she’s bossy and high strung and acts like the oldest anywayS so it doesn’t matter!

woo! however, korean tradition is rooted deeply in patriarchy and other backwards thinking,  >:(((( so evie’s parents basically pretended like their son was the only kid they had and sent evie and her 3 sisters off to swedish boarding school to ROT as they each turned 10 and forgot abt them while they groomed their son for the throne! thx mom n dad! luv u too! sdjlaksjd

during her time at boarding school evie was expected to not learn much of anything, not do anything spectacular, she wasn’t expected very good grades or to be smart or successful or anything bc that was Men’s Work and so evie did . . . THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

evie EXCELLED in school, straight a’s, top of her class, honors, ap valedictorian, which meant all nighters, nose bleeds at 2am from studying too hard, looking dead walking through the hallways, eating ramen 25/8, falling asleep w her face in her textbooks, getting bullied a lot for being a nerd and Not looking like her sisters and like...the creature from the black lagoon.

her parents, understandably, were not very happy with this but it wasn’t until she wanted to go to medical school that her parents were like FURIOUS. to them, women, esp the princesses, were only supposed to get married, have kids, THAT WAS IT. so evie wanting to be a doctor enraged them. STAY MAD!

they tried to have her engaged SO. MANY. TIMES. but she has a really repellent personality, she’s very kat stratford from 10 things i hate about you. and is rude and states her very liberal very socialist opinions often, dresses sloppy and hurts mens feelings a lot just for fun so they all went rUNNING from those match appointments! her parents literally are losing their minds they don’t know what to do w her theyre like god why did we give birth to the aNTICHRIST!?!?!?

not wanting anything to do with her parents, evie got into college and medical student on scholarship based on her own merit and skill. evie went to the seoul national university for 4 years then did a 2 year residency at the country’s top hospital, becoming one of the best on call heart surgeons there.

the korean media likes to clown on her A LOT! bc shes scary and angry and cares very little abt her appreance is A DOCTOR and not a princess really for the opposite reason they clown on dianna but evie does not really care she doesn’t care abt impressing people, just saving lives and proving people wrong. finger guns

but yes! thats what u missed on glee. evie was a heart surgeon in korea before being shipped off to thailand! shes v salty by the way ... even more than usual.

fun facts?

evie wears massive grandma glasses to see bc shes BLIND when shes in line with her sister people do not think she’s related and are like “OMG OMG THE PRINCESSES!!! BUY WHATEVER U WANT ON THE HOUSE I--oh? maam? uh? can we help u, ahjumma?” HELP

very dry, mean, will call you out on ur shit and hurt ur feelings probably. doesn’t really know how to Chill or have fun, stays out of drama and parties for the most part literally that old man that tells u to get off their lawn

LOVES HER SISTERS!!!! LOVES THEM!!! moms them and nags the FUCK out of them tho abt everything. wear a sweater its cold, drink water, dONT DO THAT GET DOWN FROM THERE, i told u to eat before u drank all that soju pabo!!!! skhaslkfh BUT SHE LOVES THEM VERY MUCH HER WOOOORLD the only people shes kind of nice to

as stated, has tried to been matched up before but has basically scared away all her matches by being A Lot and not polite or dainty and burping probably

her mom calls her all the time to talk abt how shes having a heart attack bc her second daughter is an unmarried, childless, spinster with a cat who is embarrassing her by being a doctor and being loud and obnoxious and outspoken against the royal heirarchy and right wing politics. evie just puts her on mute and lets her keeping yelling at no one for the next hour

loves beer, loves fried chicken, very unladylike, wears oversized sweaters and her hair messy and watches love island australia and the bachelor just to make fun of the people being in love and stupid i think secretly she kind of wants it but...thinks shes unlovable and will die before she says that shh

bisexual legend! cue mr and mrs yi screaming somewhere

not that it matters bc she cares little abt romance and sex and always put work and school before everything so everything touchy like that she either ends abruptly or stays the hell away from

never parties or goes out but when she does get really drunk gets very cute and touchy and happy there is one video on the internet of her like on a table ashdkh yikes 

is soft deep down just like *shrek voice* donkey, orges are like onions they have layers and u gotta get past a lot of them for her to get past her level 4 tragic backstory and into the soft, vulnerable part of her personality its nice i promise she is SQUISHY

weird plots???

best friend? im sure she has one somewhere. or friends at all? people who arent scared of her who shes nice to....mostly

enemies woo! hate her its very easy to hate her so do it

u want to do a daredevil thing like when matt shows up bleeding and dying or after a fight or something and she patches u up

just anyone need a doctor bc paging dr sexy md~

past loves? boyfriend? girlfriend? weird flings? weird tension unresolved stuff WOOO

ANYONE who broke her heart for the angst and drama

hit on her itll b funny

anyone who she was previously matched w who she scared off

someone shes currently trying to be matched or betrothed to GOOD LUCK

someone she has a crush on YIKES or vice versa

any of the college kids need a tutor? 

roommates? 

ANYTHING PLS HMU <333

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 4 episode 21

"DOUBLE JEOPARDY"

Notes by me

- uh daniels hair is long again???

- when the guy says that he knows them. My kids got a rep ayyyy 🤙

- bro I doubt theyve met you

- Jack just gets up and walks away and nobody notices????

- tealcs cheek muscles jumping out of pure rage

- daniels hair is bothering me. Doesnt he have it short for the rest of the series??? Why would they have it long for one ep

- this guy has the BIGGEST crush on cronos and his wife is literally helping the rebels

- DIRECTED BY MICHEAL SHANKS

- "he called me major" ????? Is this another dimension of sg1 wheres shes still a captain??? She did say the realities overlap

- cronos looks like my homophobic aunt

- uuhhhh he brought up killing tealcs dad thats it someone hold my beer

- hello what the hell is going on

- he gives Jack a lil shake of his head. I'm going to jump off a cliff

-uuhhhh Daniel just got his head BLASTED off????? and he closed his eyes to accept it

- FUCKIN!!!!! ROBOTS!!!!

- that makes sense actually. He said there were two of them and Sam said something about 8 hrs earlier and i remember they cant leave the planet for a very long time

- ALSO this means I was right. Robot Jack didnt bury the gate and someone owes me MONEY

- I guess the robot duplicates are in trouble this should be fun! TWICE the fun haha get it

- actually now that i think about robot Daniel accepting death is really on point for the character bc he would be really depressed about not being able to go home and continue his work. Plus he would have all of OG daniels mental health issues. Maybe he felt there was nothing to live for...no sha're.....lost all his research.....all his possessions.....his house.....his job. I'm depressed now

- KOMTRAYA

- jacks like no please anyone but him

- "what are you" robots!!!

- Sam said she built a portable charger for the robots in their chests but then why did robot Sam say they only had 8 hrs?

- "what is it that you do?"

PLEASE TELL ME I NEED TO KNOW

- they ignored the question and im about to throw my phone out the window

- what do they have on their resumes??? "Space Shit"

- "your robot counter part is equally as good at following orders as you are"

- daniels not in this one I guess. Michael shanks had to be behind the camera the whole time to Direct

- they're not gonna HELP?? Arent you guys suppossed to protect the planets you liberate or do you just drop them when your done with them? Bitches

- P3X729

- Jack taking them down from the bushes likes a ninja

- "your the Other PAL"

Jack on Jack violence

- robot Jack sad about robot Daniel :(

- whos this lady in all black with the worst lipstick

- "what the hell you think your doing?"

"What you do.....only BETTER"

Robot Jack petty as fuck I love him

- confirmation Jack gets embarrassed when he does something wrong

- "come on fly boy!!" Guys....guys this isnt gonna help *scuffling in the backround*

- Jack 1 has Jack 2 in a headlock, ref is starting the countdown

-

- "sirs!" Sam is done with your SHIT

- who would win a fight. Jack or Jack

- "its not like you havnt lied to yourself before" ooooooohhhhhhhh snap

- "I so own you" aldjsjdjdjd

- FINALLY they are saving the planet like they SHOULD

- daniels lovely decapitated body on the table is a bit unappetizing

- this is like the 3rd version of Daniel that is dead btw

- "this kinda thing happens to us all the time" Sam has had a rough life

- they can communicate with their brains??? You cant tell me they didnt fall in love and become poly

- "its simple....." I seriously thought she was gonna finish the sentence with You shove it up your ass

- robot Jack can take a hit!

- several hits

- is he dying

- "got gas" has just gonna let one rip and he'll be fine

- robot tealc came here to FIGHT

- shooting him not gonna work you gotta get close and rip his arms off

- its always fun when they listen to me

- robot Sam starting a bomb like a bad bitch

- ah for fucks sake when will cronos DIE

- TEALC TEAM WORK

- "for our father"

- and all the robots are dying ??? This isnt fair

- robot Jack is the last one left oh god

- "are we still so far from real to you?"

"No......i guess not"

- he gave up. U know he probably didnt think there was any point in living if he didnt have his team with him

-this ep ripped my heart out I'm prepared to sue

~

Robot tealc whump: hands tied,manhandled, forced kneeling electric pain?, shot, noises, fought, death

Robot Jack whump: shot by zat, passed out, shot in arm and leg and side, "bleeding" out, death

Robot Sam whump: hands tied,manhandled, forced kneeling, electric pain? , forces hand thru force shield (painful), cut on cheek revealing circuitry, death

Robot Daniel whump: hands tied, manhandled, forced kneeling, executed, decapitated by staff blast, death

Original tealc whump: staff blast, fought with cronos

🤓no glasses!Daniel for about 15 minutes up until robot Daniel dies

🎶listening to 10,000 Weight In Gold by The Head And The Heart🎶 "it never feels like treasure, til you lose it all" thinking about how they lost everything when they had to stay on the planet and how they wanted to keep fighting and do the right thing. How much they cared about each other. Im spiraling

[rosieengel]

the beauty and the terror

I’ve been contemplating starting a blog for a long time now, but felt paralyzed with terror because I couldn’t find a great opening post topic. This week, the topic found me. I’ve had the draft saved with my finger hovering over the “post now” button for a few days. So, here it goes. 

My first post is about my most recent brush with beauty and terror, best encapsulated, I think, in the mystical words of the poet Ranier Maria Rilke: 

Let everything happen to you Beauty and terror Just keep going No feeling is final

In one of my favorite books of all time, Awareness, Anthony de Mello ponders and unpacks those non-final, fleeting moments in life - he points to the fact that our cells live and die so often that we have to wonder, who am “I” after all? Was I the same person I was in the past? No. Not physically, at least, but isn’t our “consciousness” also comprised of a neural network made up of cells? So we are also not our feelings or our emotions. As a matter of fact, we have to liberate ourselves from our experiences altogether if we are to be fully present in the here and now, or we become hijacked by the filters that create our reality. This becomes even more interesting when we consider how many of our memories may be false or fabricated. How much of my past did I dream? How much did I experience in consciousness? “Don’t carry over experiences from the past... don’t carry over good experiences from the past either. Learn what it means to experience something fully, then drop it and move on to the next moment, uninfluenced by the previous one.... You’d know what eternal life is, because eternal life is now, in the timeless now.” In this book, de Mello suggests, no demands, that the reader, “Wake up”.  Wake up to how we filter reality. Wake up to our excuses. Wake up and be aware. 

I’ve always taken this book very seriously, but it became more important to me when I experienced my first pregnancy loss. The week before Christmas 2017, we experienced major emotional and physical whiplash; we were excited about the possibilities of the new life I was growing. We had told our family and friends, and like a lot of mothers-to-be, I was already dreaming about all of the amazing and absolutely terrifying ways our lives would change. I had spent my 20s and most of my 30s focused on my teaching and playing career, my health, and music. It was time to take care of someone else and I was looking forward to a new chapter (that I thought about my life then in terms of chapters is preposterous and that is worth another blog post). But the Universal Creator had different plans for us, as He typically does. At 12 weeks into my pregnancy and three days before Christmas, I had a miscarriage on the other side of the country and felt a tremendous sense of loss and confusion. In the ER, I could only hold tightly to E’s hand and eeck out, “Our little kumquat...” I was really shocked. I felt as if no one understood - I was grateful for the kindness of everyone around me, but at the same time, I felt as if they were too afraid to give me any comfort or love. Now I know that that is no one else’s responsibility but my own. 

Much to my surprise (and other women who have lost babies or children probably grok this), many ordinary and mundane things in life became very difficult. Particularly because it was Christmas. I found I couldn’t really think about the future at all. Holiday traditions and cheer seemed trite and fabricated. I fought back breakdowns whenever I was around children of any age. Drops would well up in my eyes whenever anyone started talking about their dreams of getting pregnant or starting families. I sat amidst the glee and celebration screaming inside, “HEY!!! CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M STILL HERE AND DONT YOU KNOW WHAT IM FEELING!?!??!?!” I would go to the bathroom bleeding, cramping, and sad as I waited for the miscarriage to finish playing out to its gruesome end. I was ashamed to burden others with my uncomfortable tears. I will never forget how I reached into the toilet to touch, pick up, and say goodbye to what I believe was the last of the tissue that remained.

In the days afterward, I came across what would become a well-loved piece by Brian Andreas:

This is how I came to see that first baby - as an angel who was with me so briefly, but made such a terrific impact on my life. An angel, who most certainly prodded me to “wake up” in a de Mello sense. Immediately upon my return home, I said my goodbye to her and started healing (and it’s still happening). I felt an enormous calling to help and to heal others too; in the process of healing with Craniosacral Therapy (CST), I decided to study it myself and enrolled in massage therapy school.  CST helped me to fully experience that pain and grief, down to the mitochondria of my cells, through my fascia, through my very center.  When my inner spirit sensed the healing presence of Erin, my therapist, emotions bubbled up through my solar plexus, through my left hip, my ribs, my sternum. They still do, even today. As an additional part of my healing, I dragged myself to talk therapy for a whole year. My counselor recommended EMDR, using vibration and aural cues because I’m a musician. Through this therapy I finally fully experienced some trauma that I had hidden, buried in my tissues. I came to realize and acknowledge that I had not held proper space for myself and my loss. I had been remiss in thinking that life should go according to my plans, that the world owes me certain things, that I have even a tiny bit of control over my path. The worst is that I held so much shame for all of the things I thought I had failed at in my life. I couldn’t live my pop rocks life because I was looking externally for validation that I was worthy in this world - I was looking everywhere but inside my own spirit. I believe this is what also attracted me to academia, a field where accolades, accomplishments, and the correct lines on your vitae become a measure of your life’s work. That was a tough pill to swallow, but I’ve come to terms with that realization. I’m still healing today in other ways and I probably always will be.

This week, I was gifted a second angel. Even though she is gone now, I will always think of her as Eliza Jane. We conceived her without really intending to around New Years in New Orleans. I love walking down Magazine Street toward the Quarter. When we would walk by the hotel, I would admire its historic, embossed vertical sign. I offhandedly told E that I would love to name a hypothetical daughter Eliza Jane. Two weeks later, I would learn that she was already there.

Early miscarriage is very common. Statistically speaking, 1 in 4 confirmed pregnancies end (that they know of). So - why don’t we talk about it? Why do I feel embarrassed and ashamed that I am part of this statistic? The answer explains why this post stayed in draft form for so long. 

I drove myself to the ER this week, in pain and bleeding. My midwife suggested that I go if I was concerned and if I wanted a quick answer. The answer was not good, but.... I knew the answer already.  I had felt the absence in my body, the little tug at my heart when her life left me. I won’t say that it was easier this time, but I knew what to expect. I knew what the pain would feel like; I would not be taken off-guard by the waves of grief and sadness, the emptiness, and in some ways, the feelings of loneliness and alienation. I was able to hold space for myself this time, to sit in silence, to be in my own home, my own bathroom. I didn’t have to speak to anyone. E was with me and we were together. These two losses have brought us closer together. As I laid in the ultrasound room, unable to see the images that the silent technician kept from my view, I renewed the gratitude in my heart that the Universe brought E and me together.  It may sound like a sappy cliche, but this is the only way I can put my love for him into words right now: the threads of grief in our souls are so "bare” when they are left alone, but when weaved together, make us inseparable and stronger than ever before.

When I got home from the hospital, I planted myself in bed to mentally prepare for the night ahead. Our scrappy, stray cat, Tikky, crawled into bed with me. She rarely does that. As I writhed in bed and moaned in pain, she planted herself next to me. Sprawled out against my belly, she stayed. Although I thrashed about, she remained, wide awake and concerned. Even in that moment, I was so present and grateful for her healing energy. She reminded me that the sick and pained don’t have to crawl into the corner, to lick their wounds alone. The strongest survive with the help and love of others. She sent me light in her own way, without saying anything at all. This is one of the many things I have learned from cats.

I’m sharing this story with the hope that it reaches others who have been through a similar experience. To you - you are not alone. Would this be different if I had a stillborn or if I lost an infant? No. Not according to my belief system. After the worst was over, I woke up before dawn to hear a robin trilling outside my window. In my world, nothing is a coincidence.

If you have not had this experience, open your eyes to those around you who are suffering in silence. Wake up. Just as someone communicates joy and celebration with new life and new possibilities, there is also someone who is crying and mourning the loss of a life. There are also those who did not want to create life and decide to end it (or they don’t). This isn’t just confined to miscarriage - there are people struggling around you. You must assume they are doing their best and it is not their responsibility to make you feel happy with your life.  If you find yourself riled up or offended because of someone else’s struggle, or what you feel to be their failures or incompetencies, just ask yourself - am I taking this personally? I ask myself that question often - that is part of the process of waking up. It’s the process of leading a more compassionate life. Death surrounds us and it is part of a cycle that is repeating. There’s something comforting to me about the cycles of life. My cycle, that of the earth and moon, and the seasons.  Your cells die, they shed, they turn over. It does not happen to us, it is us.

Of course, we should be happy. We should experience bliss and joy and scream it from the mountaintops, all others be damned! But can’t we also show our heartbreak, sadness, grief, and despair? Instead of turning and running from the pain, what if we leaned into the uncomfortable and said something. ANYTHING. Say you’re sorry. Ask if they are okay. Say that you don’t know what to say, but you are here to talk. Be there in silence. Be a shoulder or a hug. Hold space for them in your heart. Reach out. That’s something. Let yourself see the terror and the beauty, because if you don’t, your life will consist only of coincidences and you may miss the angels who are helping you along the way to wake up so that you do not miss your life.

Tikky didn’t leave me to lick my wounds alone. She nestled in and hunkered down right next to the pain. She leaned into it and sat there patiently through my tears and gibberish. Just as I am here to do for you, my friend.

[fmdalyssia]

Self- Paragraph -- The Journey from Da-hee to Alyssia

Premise: Let’s start from the very beginning Word Count: 1, 833 words Time Period: Days leading up to 8th March 1994, the day Park Da-hee was born, to 4 years after that when Da-hee first experiences an encounter with sickness and death through her beloved mother;  Jeju Island Trigger Warnings: domestic, csb abuse, alcoholism, sickness, death Mentions: None Author Notes: I cried so hard while writing this. 

No one knows how Park Minghan manages to bag himself such a pretty wife. She’s slender, willowy and tender-hearted in every way that he is not, with her doe-like almond shaped eyes and delicate features. She’s everyone’s dream girl, delicate, devoted and pure, with a smile that could light even the darkest of the rooms. On the other hand, Park Minghan is nothing like his wife. A strapping male that came to stay in the lesser parts of Jeju Island with his wife Minji, one could tell that the male had been handsome. 

Once.

At the very least, before life and alcoholism took that all away. No one understands why Minji doesn’t leave him, even with the sound of smashed bottles of glass against counters, the soft sounds of the young woman crying by her window entering their ears. Everyone just simply glances at each other knowingly, darkened looks on their faces, and continues trudging their own way.

Its the sickness of the masses--the negligence of many, thinking that none of the issues are something that they should take care of.

Someone will always come along. But its not me.

And so the cycle carries on, and everyone is forced to watch as Minji withers slowly away in front of them. None of them know of Park Minghan and Im Minji’s origins, save for the fact that they’re a couple, and that Minghan is an abusive, alcoholic. But neither do they doubt the fact that Minghan is at the very least 10 years older than the youthful Minji, whose looks could pass for a nineteen to twenty year old. They just know that the couple is one of the many couples, forced to relocate into lower parts of Jeju because of...circumstance. Its a normal thing, and everyone goes through it, one way or another. There’s nothing really too special about it.

Life doesn’t treat them well either, so why care about others when they weren’t self sufficient themselves?

Of course, that didn’t mean that there were one or two kind-hearted souls who offered Im Minji a reprieve to the abusive environment she lived in, the bruises on her pale skin tearing the hearts of mothers, but halting youthful wives with too eager husbands. 

Come with us, Minji. Leave that man alone.

It only breaks their hearts further when Minji shakes her head and offers that too brittle smile, one hand resting delicately on her belly.

I can’t. She tells them, her eyes soft but sad. I can’t. 

Its nine months later that Da-hee is born, and as usual, Minghan is nowhere to be found. Everyone knows by now that Minji’s pregnant, but also know that neither is she in the best of states. Her heart doesn’t keep up with her sometimes, her breaths short and gasping, and face paling at times when her chest tightens, hands clutching onto the back of the seat.

Its asthma. Some gossip. Heart problems. Others postulates. Braxton Hicks. 

Its because of the benevolence of others that Da-hee gets born in a hospital, her birth registered as legitimate. A kind Samaritan that found Minji collapsed at the side of the road, one hand against her heart, the other on her stomach as she pulls through each contraction with pained breaths. He even pays for the medical bills, and Minji doesn’t see her husband until 3 days later, when she’s finally discharged with Da-hee in her arms. 

Da-hee is everything that Minji wishes and dreams of, even as the doctor tells her she’s too weak to have anything else trigger her. Her daughter is soft, warm, alive and cuddly in her arms, and Minji feels nothing but bliss even as her body screams in pain with every move it makes. 

Its through sheer willpower that Minji holds onto her every shred of life. Giving birth to her daughter has made her body constitution weaker than anyone else, with dangerously high fevers during winter, and flus during the summer. She’s glad that inspite of everything, Da-hee never inherits her weakly body constitution, even though she looks like a carbon copy of herself.

The abuse continues, and Minji can only try and protect her daughter as much as she can from Minghan’s calloused hands. She spends four blissful years, watching Da-hee grow, and its everything that Minji can ever wish for. 

...

Da-hee hates the fact that she doesn’t recall much of her mother, save for the last day that she sees her face, and for the fists and warm body that envelops her constantly as her father rains down fist upon fist on their bodies. Its a curse that humans don’t exactly remember their memories of anyone until they’re beyond the age of six or seven, because her childhood is marred with days and nights of a predator, and not of the blissful moments of the woman she calls her mother. 

Da-hee remembers Minji as the warmest ray of light, the delicate ray of sunshine. Her mother was like a plant--wavering in the wind, but yet still strong and steadfast to her will. She never blames her mother for choosing not to leave her father. Where would they go if she did? A young woman and a child, barely ever four years of age, and on top of that, her mother’s body wasn’t in the best shape. It was a tragedy from the very start, and something doomed from the very beginning. 

She doesn’t even blame her mother for the domestic abuse they both suffer--if anything, the home that Park Minghan provided covered their necessities, even if they had to suffer blow after blow upon their bodies. 

She does blame her mother however, for not noticing the signs of her father’s predatory behaviour. Its even more sickening that he doesn’t wait till her mother’s fully gone to begin his predation upon her young body. It starts with the touching--its always the touching, the hugging that’s too close for comfort. She’s too young to understand that it isn’t affection, and her mother’s too sickly to know what happens when her father watches over her when she isn’t around. 

And Da-hee remembers always being more worried about her mother, even as a child who didn’t understand things in her four year old mental capacity. To her, mother was always coughing--always crying, always desperately holding on. Her heart hurt her...most of the times, and so did father’s fists.

Da-hee remembers clearly, however--the first time that her father had ever hit her. It hadn’t been accidental, and her mother had always done everything she could in protecting her. Bruises marred her pretty face, her hands always trembling as she touched her all over after each brutal beating at Park Minghan’s hands, and Da-hee remembers that she always cries when her mother desperately touches her body and face. She senses the panic, and desperation--that desire to protect something so precious, and its an indescribable feeling for a four year old to watch her mother being beaten repeatedly till she bleeds, and being able to do nothing about it, because its always her mother that tries to protect her. All the bruises that she knows are supposed to appear on her body and her face--are right there, just on her mother. 

Its tears of helplessness, of terror, of fear, of despair--and even as young as she is--her body instinctively knows it. If anything, Da-hee remembers having inherited the strong-will of her own mother. Its a powerful thing that they both have, indomitable enough for Minji to stay on and protect her daughter for four long years, even though her body has expired, and for Da-hee to still function as a normal child, even under such intense abuse. But the stubbornness and the pride that she has--that was something that she definitely got from her father, as was the unquenchable fury.

She remembers the day she threw herself in front of her mother, screaming at her father as he rained his fists down on her mother’s tiny frame, the desperate cries of her mother to hide back in her arms falling upon deaf ears. It works--as soon as that first few punches pummel with full strength against her small body, and jars Park Minghan to a halt. It works--because he strides out of the room, red-faced and with a wild but shocked look in his eye as she beams widely at her mother, one eye already swelling shut as her mother cries and cups her face.

We match. She tries to say, reaching for the black eye that her mother sports as well, but the pain is too much, and she ends up crying till the blood vessels burst in her tiny face. All she remembers of the day is not the glory that she had, protecting her mother, but the repeated tears and apologies that fell from her mother’s lips as she cradled her in her arms like the most precious thing in the world. 

The fact that she still got hit takes a huge blow to her mother’s health, Da-hee realises a tad too late. She’s four and half and trying to help around the house when her mother suddenly coughs out blood and clutches her heart. Its alarming, and Da-hee remembers the adrenaline that pumps through her veins as she runs from door to door, trying to get the neighbours to help.

But no one wants to help someone who doesn’t want to leave an abusive husband themselves. Its something that she deserves--Da-hee feels it in their eyes as they close the door on her face, condescending and judgemental, and its far too late when she returns back to her house, without a doctor in tow. 

She spends her last moments with her mother on the tiny bed that they share, in the small room that’s apart from her father. 

I love you. She remembers her mother’s last breath as the words of love and adoration from the woman’s lips, the smile of liberation that finally truly graces her lips.

Her father doesn’t even return home until two days later, drunk and smelling heavily of booze. She’s spent the past two nights lying with the corpse of her dead, cold mother, unable to cry as she sits next to her mother, stupefied and traumatized. She doesn’t even feel sorry when Park Minghan collapses to the ground in sobs, grabbing onto her mother’s hand as though it was the most precious thing that he could find in the world.

He deserves it. Even in the mental capacity of a four year and a half year old, Da-hee knows how to differentiate things far too easily--its a blessing and a curse from growing up just a little too early. She wanders out of the room and into the open space, right by the beach where her mother would frequently take her as a tiny escape from the horrible life that they both shared.

See the birds, Da-hee? Aren’t they so carefree.

And she finally bursts into tears.

[honeyrisuke]

I just made a realization

when I was in 8th grade, our history teacher, who was a complete and total bitch, made us all watch "Im Westen nichts Neues" (All Quiet on the Western Front) in class. That's a movie from the 1930s about young men being recruited into world war 1 and all dying there tragically. In good classic film style you just see unaltered long-shots of them bleeding out in trenches, exploding themselves with grenades or lamenting about pain in their foot while they die on a cot in the medics tent after both their legs got amputated.

back then I was not in a great emotional spot, I went through a lot of really bad stress at home, and I was not in the right headspace to be watching something like that, so I asked if I could leave and instead read about it but the teacher forced me to sit through it. She really couldn't stand me and dropped sentences like "I don't know if you are smart enough to read up on it in the first place"

After we were done watching the movie, the teacher asked us what we learned and I, being an absolute shitbag, just yelled into the classroom: "WAR IS SHIT. DONT FUCKING ELECT FASCIST GOVERNMENTS AND DONT FUCKING ENLIST. ITS A LIE. DONT BE A PATRIOT, THEY WANT YOU DEAD. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. WE ARENT IDIOTS. THIS WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY AND YOUR ATTITUDE ABOUT IT IS ENRAGING"

after which I of course received a strike and had to go to detention, but for years I was still SO pissed off about it because that was literally the whole point of why we watched that. To teach us that running into war like this is a bad thing, actually. That governments who start wars do not have our best interest at heart and that theres nothing heroic about being in the military.

And I just realized that yeah, it was clear to me because I have my head screwed on right and have been a big leftist and anti-patriot since forever, but most people,,, aren't. Most of my former classmates weren't. And especially: that teacher wasn't. She was very open about her support of the more right-leaning wing of the christian democrats. She was very open about teaching history so she can "stop the misinformation about germany being all bad"

That woman held enough fascist ideology that she found it NORMAL to be a patriot and thought she has to teach kids to not mindlessly run into war because otherwise we would all be hailing our next dictator. She thought this would bring nuance into her teaching. She thought this would actually help make us reflected 'liberal patriots'. She was the kinda person to want the ideology and patriotism but without the war and the nationalism, which is some right-liberal bullshit that's going on in germanys boomer generation.

idk like. Realizing this turned this memory from "she did that to us for no fucking reason and then gave me detention for picking up on everything she was trying to do and telling her off about it" to "that woman is just extremely fucking dense"

[prcmctheus]

hurricane katrina ?? more like hurrican tortilla .. am i rite ?? dnajdsl i’m over trying to seem cool 4 u guys to read these hot messes bc we all know it’s just gonna be me rambling nonsense but i need validation bc im a messy b*tch so luv me and my hipster trash son bowie

! ✰ ° — [ RAMI MALEK, CISMALE, HE/HIM ] bowie abaza, aka agent galileo is a thirty-six year old biomedical agent that has been loyal to mercy for three years. they have a reputation of being the savant because they can be steadfast & amicable. but let’s not forget they’re pretty blasé & fastidious. if you listen closely you can hear sunday morning by maroon 5 whenever they walk past. 

STATISTICS:

full name: bowie abraxas abaza nicknames: just bowie yo hometown: cairo, egypt gender: cismale sexuality: pansexual / panromantic spoken languages: masri ( egyptian arabic ), arabic, english, german & spanish hogwarts house: he’s a hoe ass ravenclaw y’all , caries around sudoko puzzles tattoos: bc i’m weak and idc if this is a feminine aRM he has this rose tattoo on his right arm

BACKSTORY:

so ya Mans bowie abraxas abaza was born and raised in cairo, egypt up until he was 6 years old but moved around A LOT bc his mom is fickle and tbh bowie never really minded bc his a World Traveler by the time college rolls around .. he hasn’t been in a place for long and he doesn’t mind it bc he;s a bit of a wandering spirit or vagabond if u will

but yeah his mom didn’t really come from money but his dad was pretty well off ?? he was an accountant in cairo bc it was a family thing that the men followed suit in and his dad was set to marry this woman bc their families were close but his dad was like lmao thx but no thx and ran off with his teenage sweetheart who also happened to be his neighbor but u can thank his moms deep love of david bowie for his name

i say ran off but lit he dipped 30 mins away to the house he bought jdsbfajf sOOO bowie chills with his parents in cairo until he’s 6 until his mom says she wants to move them to prague and asks bowie for his insight and in his 6 year old wisdom he’s like uHhh yeah sure why not  .. u know as a parent does in big life decisions

but bowie def takes more after his mom in the sense of being p easy going and goes with the flow ?? chilled out most of the time and hardly ever raises his voice or loses his temper ?? hates confrontation and would much rather avoid it all costs nflksdj so u gotta do smth Wild for him to show frustration

he doesn’t take things too seriously or get too attached bc of how much moving he did as a kid ,, which u think his dad would be like nyla pls .. let me have a steady job but he is Whipped and grossly in love but to be fair ,, they both are and bowie hasn’t ever seen a couple more in love after so many years than his parents so it warms his heart a bit

it’s when they’re in prague that his mom gives birth to his younger sister safia ( i have jade thirlwall for a potential wc .. someday maybe idk ) and bowie actually adores his sister ?? thinks she hung the stars in the sky and would Die for her .. until she becomes a teenager and he’s like safia i s2g i will nerf u,, as any brother but he still luvs her

until he’s 15 he bounces around from prague to budapest to moscow before his parents make The Move to san franscisco, california and that’s the last move the abaza clan make just to spare bowie and safia from falling back even further in schooling and bowie was like .. mom pls chill out

bowie did exceptionally well in high school and was the jerk who was just naturally smart and didn’t have to study much bc it just came easy to him  ,, HUGE HIPSTER TRASH im not even sorry ,, likes to smoke weed and hates beer but is a wine hoe .. wears hawaiian button downs unironically, ripped skinny jeans .. big fan of chelsea boots and slip on vans and leather jackets and that still transfers over to his style now

gets along with p much anyone ?? was in the robotics club in high school, on the deans list but weaved between the cliques with ease and probably bc of how chill and down to earth he was ,, helped people out with tutoring n such and just stayed in his own lane

on his 18th birthday he got a giant rose tattoo on his right arm much to the horror of his dad jdfaljk but and he’s v proud of it and has an urge to get a sleeve but now working for Governmental peeps , he mainly wears long sleeve shirts and is wary of mercy’s stance and doesn’t wanna ask

a bit non commital in terms of Relationships ,, v sexually liberal and v pansexual / panromantic and hasn’t even really settled down just bc he feels like he doesn’t wanna settle down into things and make them so serious ?? so he’s just big into the hookup scene but he ain’t the type to dip first thing when he wakes up .. likes to chill and lay in bed and maybe go get some breakfast w u

becoming a doctor was a last minute whim bc he wanted to do engineering but changed his mind and applied to john hopkins for pre-med bc i hate him and he figures why not ?? ya mans gets an early admission and he’s v proud of himself and parents cry bc they're proud of their boy and what he's achieved even with all their moving around !! im emo thinking about it now bye

lit his bachelor’s and then med school . bowie runs on caffeine, multiple existential crises and the determination of elle woods and time flies and he’s 26 and graduates john hopkins med school summa cum laude after internships n such and ya bOY IS SWAGGY !! secures his residency and is living life as a trauma surgeon back in san francisco for a bit before he gets into contact with mercy and bc he's impulsive as fuck he’s the meme of the hand slapping the button that says nUT

accurate representation of bowie jdnfls so he’s been chilling as a biomedical agent for mercy for three years and finds it more thrilling than a trauma surgeon ?? liked being on but there’s something more to being at mercy that while he enjoyed saving lives , he feels a greater purpose at mercy 

p much the middle ground between fitz and misha bc he’s just Chill , kjsdkl that’s the best way i can conjure up thots bc he’s easy going and talks to most people and doesn’t rise up to frustration and just offers solutions and is Unimpressed when field agents try to act tough like calm down chad ur gonna bleed out so shut up and come over here

chose his agent name as galileo bc he’s a science Nerd and i hate him

[patriotsnet]

Who Gives More To Charity Republicans Or Democrats

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/who-gives-more-to-charity-republicans-or-democrats/

Who Gives More To Charity Republicans Or Democrats

Republicans Give Less In Democratic

Who LIES More- Republicans or Democrats?

Whether Republicans lived in a red county or a blue county affected their giving, the study found. Republican donors tended to give less in Democratic-leaning counties.

One theory was that taxes tended to be higher in counties where a majority of residents were Democrats. Republicans had less to give, and they were not persuaded to give more to reap a bigger tax deduction.

A second hypothesis is that donors do not necessarily have confidence in giving when their beliefs are not shared or the institutions they are giving to might support causes that are not theirs.

If Im a Republican and only in the minority, my preferences are not held in common or high regard, Dr. Christensen said. When theyre in the majority, they feel they can share their wealth this way.

Republicans Vs Democrats: Where Do The Two Main Us Political Parties Stand On Key Issues

After an impeachment, a positive coronavirus test and an unforgettable first presidential debate rounded out the final months of Donald Trumps first term, it seems fair to say the past few years have been a roller-coaster ride for US politics.

On November 3, Americans will decide which candidate will win the 2020 presidential election, sparking either the beginning, or end, for each nominee.

But how does it all work?

Well, the US political system is dominated by two main parties the Democrats and the Republicans and the next president will belong to one of those two.

Just how different are their policies?

Heres what you need to know, starting with the candidates.

Republicans Give More To Charity Than Democrats But Theres A Bigger Story Here

November 3, 2018; New York Times

The political differences between Republicans and Democrats dont play out solely at the ballot box; they also predict how likely people are to donate to charity. This finding from a newly published research project reflects a key difference, one tied to political affiliation, about how our nation should take on critical social issues like homelessness, poverty, and health care. The data also suggest that in times of political strife, both parties supporters pull back, making problem-solving harder.

Using voting and IRS data for the residents of 3,000 counties across the nation, the four-professor research team found, according to the New York Times, that counties which are overwhelmingly Republican report higher charitable contributions than Democratic-dominated counties, although giving in blue counties is often bolstered by a combination of charitable donations and higher taxes. But as red or blue counties become more politically competitive, charitable giving tends to fall. The full study was recently published in the Nonprofit and Voluntary Sector Quarterly.

Importantly, the study did not find that in Republican counties, private funds replaced public funds so that social services were equally supported.

Don’t Miss: Snopes Trump Republican Dumb

Elected Officials Seen As Out Of Touch In Us France And Uk

Nearly two-thirds of Germans say the statement elected officials care what ordinary people think describes their country well. However, fewer than half of those surveyed in France, the U.S. and the UK express this opinion.

The share of Germans who say elected officials care what ordinary people think has risen precipitously since 2018, when only 44% held this view. In France, too, the share saying elected officials care has risen 9 points . Indeed, all partisan groups in France studied registered an increase in the percentage who say this.;

In the UK and U.S., however, the share who say elected officials care about ordinary people has remained largely unchanged since 2018, although it has risen in the UK among those who identify with Conservative Party and decreased among those who identify with the Labour Party. Today, Conservatives are more likely to say elected officials care than are Labour Party supporters. Those who have a favorable view of the Brexit Party are also more likely than those who have an unfavorable view of the party to say elected officials care what ordinary people think .;

Partisan identity colors opinion about whether elected officials are seen as caring in each of the countries surveyed except for Germany. For example, in France, about two-thirds of those who identify with President Emmanuel Macrons party En Marche say elected officials care, compared with fewer than half of supporters of the Socialist Party and the Republicans .

Republicans Winning Money Race As They Seek To Take Over House In 2022

The National Republican Congressional Committee announced Wednesday that it had raised $45.4 million in the second quarter of 2021, the most it has ever raised in three months of a non-election year, as Republicans seek to take over the House in 2022.

House GOP leader Kevin McCarthy This story has been updated with additional developments Wednesday.

Also Check: Did Trump Call Republicans Stupid In 1998

Can A Religious White Republican Party Survive

The partisan gap between black and white voters is the most durable and powerful split in modern American politics. Soon after President Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act in 1964, he remarked, I think we just delivered the South to the Republican Party for a long time to come. He wasnt wrong. Afterward, the Republicans courted racist white voters by opposing school and housing integration.

Among white people, religion is the most stable and important determinant of party choice. But the way religion shapes party attachment has changed. Today, the best way to sort the population of white voters is not by which religion they belong to, but by how religious they are.

Among white Americans:

else

Religious

The number of religious white Americans is plummeting. In the long term, that spells disaster for Republicans. I dont think the Republican Party right now has a sustainable business model, said Alan Abramowitz, a political scientist at Emory University.

The party knows this. Or at least it should. After Republicans lost the 2012 election, the party leadership commissioned a report on how to move forward. One answer was clear: appeal to nonwhite and less conservative voters. But in the years since, the Republicans led by Mr. Trump have doubled down on white identity politics and seem to believe that their path to a majority is through gerrymandering, voter suppression or attempts to skew the census.

Recommended Reading: Do Republicans Or Democrats Give More To Charity

Democrats Tend To Have A Lot More Anger And Negativity In Their Rhetoric According To Them If You Support President Trump Well Then You Are A Racist And A Nazi

They generally seem to be out to get someone making things more personal.; Why are they so afraid to use the facts to reinforce what they want to do? Its agenda first then find or make up facts to support the rhetoric.

If they cant beat you at the polling booth, they try and beat you in court and thats just a great example of something thats not a pleasant experience. And not quite working in the long run. They keep getting overturned.

Recommended Reading: Democratic Controlled States

Democrats Or Republicans: Who Has The Higher Income

In the end, many people assume Republicans are richer based on these figures. Although, this is only a look at the richest families and politicians in America though. In everyday American households, it seems that Democrats have a higher mean salary. Its true that many of the wealthiest families in the country are contributing to Republican campaigns. On the contrary, families registered as Democrats have higher annual salaries than Republicans, statistically speaking.

These findings still have some loopholes in them, of course. For instance, the data was collected over the last 40 years or so. Moreover, it is only based on the most recently collected information. As you know, demographics are constantly changing. These figures may have been affected as well. There is also a margin of error with every type of data collection like this. So, what do you think? Who is richer? Democrats or Republicans?

The Political Force Of Michael Bloombergs Tactical Charity

Conservatives & Christians are Far More Charitable than Bleeding-Heart Liberals & Athiests

Reddit

In his quest for the Democratic presidential nomination, former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has already spent nearly a quarter of a billion dollars, more than that of the major Democratic candidates combined. But, ironically, focusing on his immense campaign budget underrates the impact of Bloombergs money on his chances. Just as important is the political force of his charitable giving.

Traditionally, presidential nominations have been than by grassroots mobilization. Bloomberg may be able to gin up some public support through campaign ads and Tammany Hall-style politics, but in the inside game, it would seem he is at a disadvantage. He has never run for national office, has supported Republican candidates, and was himself a Republican.

But politics in America is increasingly organized around institutions reliant on big-donor philanthropy. Candidates, local and state parties, advocacy organizations, think tanks, and many foundations are in a constant scramble for money. Few leaders of these organizations will want to offend a man whose personal wealth makes their entire operating budgets look like a negligible rounding error.

Don’t Miss: Percentage Of Americans That Are Republican

If A Party Gets What It Wants In The Pursuit Of Delivering Something Most People Want Most Of The Time So Be It

Theres nothing morally wrong with being the party of corporate interests. Theres nothing wrong, for that matter, with viewing politics as the preserve of the few, not the many. Whats wrong is lying about it. Whats wrong is treating the opposition as if it does not have a legitimate claim. Whats wrong is setting off a conflagration of white-power fury that consumes nearly everything, even the republic itself, in order to slake a thirst for power. The day Joe Biden decided to run for president was the day this white-power fury burned through Charlottesville, screaming, Jews will not replace us. That day, according to published reports, is the day Biden chose to fight to restore the soul of America.

Maybe hes full of it. Maybe Biden and the Democrats dont really believe what they say when they talk about everyone being in this together. Thats certainly what the Republicans and their media allies believe. A critic said Thursday that we can expect to see from Biden lofty rhetoric about unity, while acting below the radar to smash norms to implement the Left-wing agenda. The same day, a Times reporter asked the White House press secretary why the administration has not offered a bipartisan fig leaf to the Republicans, given the president putting so much emphasis on unity. Maybe the Democrats dont mean what they say. Maybe its just politics-as-usual.

Not All Parties That Employ Populist Rhetoric Are Opposed To Liberal Democratic Principles

Greeces Coalition of the Radical Left, more commonly referred to as Syriza, is one of the only major parties of the radical left in the west to favour populist over pluralistic rhetoric.

Though an overwhelming majority of western parties described by ParlGov as liberal and conservative are likely to be positive towards ethnic minorities, the same cannot be said for their attitudes towards immigration.

You May Like: Leader Of The Radical Republicans

Are Republicans More Ethical Than Democrats

It is easy to be cynical about the corrosive effects of power. ;No party has a monopoly on corruption and misuse of public office.; Yet cynicism is not the same as wisdom.; Such every day cynicism helps Democrats escape from the uncomfortable moral challenges posed to big government advocates by the slew of scandals erupting in Washington.;

What we are seeing involves systemic flouting of the law by Democrats, from elected and appointed officials to unionized bureaucrats, who have targeted ordinary citizens because they are political opponents, riding rough shod over our rights to free speech, assembly, freedom of the press and equal application of the law.;

There has not been abuse of power on this scale in this baby boomers lifetime.; This is beyond the ordinary, and ordinary cynicism will not suffice.; The debate over whether our President is guilty of active abuse, leadership by example, or incompetence is important.; But it is not the most important thing going on.; The problem is far larger than the Oval office, and will extend past this presidency unless there is significant government reform.

New York Times journalist Thomas Friedman daydreams of what he and fellow liberals could accomplish ruling America with all the powers of the Chinese Communist Party.; Republican politicians, no matter how power hungry and narcissistic, know that is a nightmare.; Their followers know that is a nightmare.; Democrats do not.;

Democratic Party Enters 2021 In Power And Flush With Cash For A Change

The Democratic National Committee has a roughly $75 million war chest, raising the partys hopes of keeping power in 2022 and accelerating a Democratic shift in the Sun Belt states.

After years of flirting with financial disaster, the Democratic Party entered 2021 not only in control of the White House, the House and the Senate but with more money in the bank than ever before at the start of a political cycle.

The Democratic National Committee will report to the Federal Election Commission on Sunday that it ended 2020 with $38.8 million in the bank and $3 million in debts, according to an advance look at its financial filings. In addition, there is roughly $40 million earmarked for the party, left over from its joint operations with the Biden campaign, according to people familiar with the matter. This gives the Democrats a roughly $75 million war chest at the start of President Bidens tenure.

This is a number that is unimaginable, said Howard Dean, a former party chairman.

Party data, resources and infrastructure undergird candidates up and down the ballot, and Democratic officials are already dreaming of early investments in voter registration that may accelerate the political realignment Democrat are hoping to bring about in key Sun Belt states.

We had to juggle who we were going to pay, Tom Perez, who until earlier this month was the chairman of the D.N.C., said of the early part of his tenure, which began in 2017.

Recommended Reading: Did Trump Say Republicans Are Stupid

Americans Are Especially Likely To Say Politicians Are Corrupt

This report examines peoples trust in government and satisfaction with democracy, as well as their attitudes toward elected officials and political reform.

For this analysis, we use data from nationally representative telephone surveys of 4,069 adults from Nov. 10 to Dec. 23, 2020, in the U.S., France, Germany and the UK. In addition to the survey, Pew Research Center conducted focus groups from Aug. 19 to Nov. 20, 2019, in cities across the U.S. and UK . We draw upon these discussions in this report.

Here are the questions used for the report, along with responses, and the survey methodology.

As they continue to struggle with a public health crisis and ongoing economic challenges, many people in the United States and Western Europe are also frustrated with politics.

A four-nation Pew Research Center survey conducted in November and December of 2020 finds that roughly two-thirds of adults in France and the U.S., as well as about half in the United Kingdom, believe their political system needs major changes or needs to be completely reformed. Calls for significant reform are less common in Germany, where about four-in-ten express this view.

Trust in government has also increased slightly in the UK, although while it has risen among supporters of Prime Minister Boris Johnsons Conservative Party, is has actually declined among those who identify with the opposition Labour Party.

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House Republicans Pressuring Democrats To Return Donations From Ocasio

House Republicans’ campaign arm on Monday launched a website calling on a number of vulnerable House Democrats to return campaign donations from progressive Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

The website, dubbed “Socialist Give Back,” comes after Politico reported last week that Ocasio-Cortez donated $5,000 to a number of House Democrats. The;National Republican Congressional Committee;highlighted the Democrats who have returned the donations, including Rep. Chris PappasChristopher Charles PappasNew Hampshire Republican Matt Mowers jumps into key House race, setting up 2020 rematchTop Democrat: ‘A lot of spin’ coming from White House on infrastructureFormer Trump aide announces run for New Hampshire House seatMORE .

Ocasio-Cortez’s Courage to Change PAC donated to the New Hampshire Democrat on March 29, but Pappas’s campaign returned the funds, citing a clerical error.

Other House Democrats who returned the campaign cash include Reps. Conor Lamb , Elissa SlotkinRonald James KindGOP sees Biden crises as boon for midterm recruitmentDemocrats fret over Trump-district retirements ahead of midtermsMORE .

Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee spokesman Chris Hayden told Politico last month that the campaign arm was appreciative of Ocasio-Cortez’s efforts, adding “due to a miscommunication, some transfers were made in error, but that has been addressed.

Recommended Reading: How Many Republicans In California

Democrat Or Republican: Whos More Charitable

J. Hugh Liedtke Professor of Marketing

Lay belief suggests that Democrats are more charitable than Republicans because of a more community-minded orientation. However, surveys of giving show that Republicans give more to charity than Democrats, though the charitable giving also includes religious organizations. A careful reading of the evidence precludes strong conclusions.

A recent study by WalletHub;compiled charitable giving data from different states. When combined with state-level political identity data from the American National Election Studies;a simple analysis was conducted. A simple regression suggests a positive association between charitable giving and being a Republican. You can find your state in the graph above.

This simple analysis, however, does not tell the whole story. Understanding charitable giving by Republicans and Democrats is more complex than portrayed in this graphic. My colleagues Karen Page Winterich at Penn State and Yinlong Zhang at UT-San Antonio conducted a series of controlled experiments to investigate this issue. The study published in the International Journal of Research in Marketing;can be downloaded here:

Specifically, the study showed:

Overall, Democrats and Republicans are equally likely to be charitable.

In another study, we created two descriptions of âChildrenâs Advocatesâ. They started with the same introduction, but had two different descriptions, one republican-oriented and another democrat-oriented:

versus

[motorious-motorsports-blog]

#RentBoyDotCom #scruff #match Moral Hazard (Formula): NYS Journal on Human Rights: Jane Doe v Prudential (cadler@hillaryclinton.com) | Rex Tillman GSA Vehicle Purchase Per Annum: 700,000 HIV/AIDS is biological warfare, human guineau pigs (homosexuals, black and latino heterosexuals..not unlike African American Tuskeegee Airmen and Syphillis? Did it ever occur to any of you that a HIPPA Release form allows your personal health data to be pooled with others, like in a clinical trial study? Why did insurance companies initially refuse to issue Health ("pre-existing condition")Life Insurance Plans to people with HIV/AIDS? Why was there a federal ban on stem cell research? The first report of HIV was an article in the New York Times about the "gay cancer" which turned out to be Kaposis Sarcoma (a symptom of AIDS Related Complex). And from there it afflicts heterosexual minorities. Not sure how that happens,but its pretty clear that no one was getting gang raped by monkees in Africa (more likely that SIV, Simean Immunodeficiency Virus, was being tested on chimps, before a human strain (testing of #retroviral vectors in the earliest of preclinical studies of stem cells....#InsertationalMutagenesis" is when the vector used to introduce new genetic information into the parent cell, to be passed to all the daughter cells in hematapoesis, reverts back to its virulent form once in the patient. This was all well documented and known "before the first patient was treated"[1] Twitter.com/motorious_llx | Soon to be Former award winning wall street equity analyst in biotechnology, ceo of my own startup (motorious: Generation X Luxury Goods and Lifestyle Brand), industrial and fashion designer about to launch my own haute couture mens line (in conjunction with the Council of Fashion Designers of America. Our social network of 1 Billion Connected Cars, might be where and how you find your next hookup: bootycall_tv, which I am hoping to license to various dating apps and hookup sites. I am soon to be the proud official owner of the trademark: rentboy.com | I know ... that would make me a major pimp, but i'd consider being the ho . haha). Please have a brain (Im Harvard educated) an possess wit, charm & grace. And check out my social network links before asking me a lot of redundant questions. Twitter.com/OOF_llc Dino_llc et al v NYCHealthSystem, NYCHRA, NYCHA, Medicaid et al GMHC v NIH, FDA and USA. Footnotes: [1] Excerpt from: The Investors' Roadmap To Profitting From The Genomics Revolution. June 4, 1996, by Wolé M. Fayemi and Christopher P. Tihansky (approximately 300 pages). Cover Price: $20,000.00. Before my PDF scan of one page was deleted and my account suspended (@wole_m_fayemi)....Twitter neglecting to take into consideration that I dont give a flying fuck about their bleeding heart, tree hugging liberal (tax and spend: ive learned that the overwhelming majority of case managers and supervisors at HASA who arent corrupt and stealing money from your accounts, aren't qualified to wipe my ass after I take a shit, and are a waste of life, if not taxpayer dollars. I will remind you who Identify as "democrats" that it was the Republican Party which freed the slaves (Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Slayer), George HW Bush who created the Ryan White Care Act, and George 'Dubyah" Bush who earmarked and proposed $60 Billion to fund a clinical trial protocol for anyone afflicted which promises it could be a cure, which was unequivocally REJECTED by the Democratically controlled House and Senate: 10 years ago (we coulda been cured by now). The shit hit the fan when Google blocked me from accessing my gmail and google plus account and Private Youtube channel, pretending that they (and the Goldman Sachs Jewish Mafia...from the 2008 Financial Crisis and Flash Crash, which former Chairman Hank Paulson insanely profited from (after we smoked and fucked, he whispered in my ear: "halfway house" .... W8 a minute! WHAT? you mean split it 50/50 or you think I should go to rehab (NOT) to Janet Yellen, clueless Fed Chair married to a Nobel Prize winning economist, George Ackerloff of Haas School of Business and U Cal Berkeley. All Former President Barack Obama could manage after blowing a few cumulous clowdz was "isnt it big?"?(i dunno, sorta...i was a little too tweaked to remind him that i wasnt really interested in the size of his penis, all of my missing emails and posts: Edward Snowden? Or am I being paramoid? were plagiarized by him during his state of the Union address, yet he invites "Tech Leaders" to meet with him (not a single minority amongst them). You guys had the perfect opportunity to impeach him (and Penny Pritzker, related to my former partner Jay Pritzer, who along with the other partners not quite able to explain how all my cash and equity got embezzled to, leaving me on welfare, unemployed and without any friends for the past 15 years, the past 5 where I have been homeless living in SROs, ALL of my clothing and property have been destroyed, stolen or thrown away) when I was exposed Dick Cheney (former director of the CIA who had a "duck hunting accident"...do I look like a duck to you? Tim Geitner, Hank Paulsen and others of sucking on the glass dick before swallowing mine, after blowing huge cumulous clowdz: @stratus_cirrus , stratus.cirrus@icloud.com which are not to be confused with the Dodge and Chrysler vehicles which used those monikers. bit.ly/Dark_PrinceCharming (GrandPrix.com reports on the aristocratic non ruling class of clowns from Nigeria, like myself...meaning diplomatic immunity from prosecution...hence my decision to start my own organized crime syndicate on crunchbase: Integrated Concept Vehicles Corporation in Nevada (NY NY Vegas: gambling on auto racing, prostitution (RentBoyDotCom profile on match.com, not to be confused with a Scruff Match. Law enforcement can't touch me (or my nationwide #T_Mobile delivery service (with a money back guarantee). #BringingBrownCordsBackIntoStyle This should better put into perspective the movie trailers for: I am Legend, Rise: Planet of the Apes, 24 Hours Later and 24 days later.

[oh-woops]

That ghost can suck it because that ghost is a nobody

People are like missed matched socks

Roses are red

Emo elf likes the colour black

Jesus looked at me and turned his back

Honey melon sounds like a cute ship name owo

Im gonna start a fire i don't know where or when but i will

Never mind honey lemon sounds better tbh

Don't let the breeze blow

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty dumpty had a great fall (plot twist???)

Far from a cry

Welcome to the neighborhood

Try falling in love with taking care of yourself

That's ok if people don't like me

I like me lmao

Good times couldn't last forever

Old things we thought would never die

What a lovely way to lie

In a happy place there has to be that one sad thing to make your happy place feel human and that's you

To get rid of the bad apples you have to get rid of the tree

Another child left behind

Horrible + terrible = torrible

Can you get high off inhaler puffs???

Hopeless roadkills

Rosadusk ville

Are you satisfied with all the glowing eyes?

Would you like hearing the smoldering slience you made?

Will you ever say goodbye to all your lies?

Do you remember the pain of those helpless roadkills?

I'll hold you before the monster takes you

Holy strawberries

It's peaceful sometimes so i don't mind

Mother of filp flops

Fear dinner

Fear the dinner table and whats on the plates

Pass the point of no return

See an air ship

Beyond bucktooth cliff

Sa yo na ra (why must banana fish do this to me ; w ;)

The bottle of grief

What the rats seek

Maybe you wouldn't know

Paradise can't always be forever

We can keep warm while we burn the flowers

I am the physical embodiment of spilt milk

Am i allowed to be breathing

I am a fish drowning

What's the equivalent of living

Sleeping, i never thought i would have a hard time

But maybe that my fault

For taking 10 puff my inhaler

And I'm over dosed from the bottle of trying to get paler

Legends of the old timey experts

Kids with melting brains

I love to watch pain(t) dry

I saw the crash about to happen yet i couldn't prevent it

I guess the world really is full of assholes

The legend of the bucktooth massacre

Roadkill Riot

In someone's perspective I'm most probably a human stepping stone to them

For a place that never laughs

I think it pretty radiant

I like it here

Blithe

Linda Heart (character name???)

Blissful humiliation

Molotov cocktails

I really wanna be rebellious and badass but i also don't like cops or getting grounded

Suck a mango bitch

Are you looking after yourself?

Oh fuck off

From your description, you do not just want to be friends with everyone, you want everyone to be friends with you as well. The answer is that you can't. There will always be someone who is not goin0g to be your friend no matter what.

This isn't right. Im supposed to be the happy go lucky person in the family, the optimistic one who always likes to smile. If i can't even do that then why am i here? Why was i made if I'm just useless. Im not smart, im not athletic ,im not good at art or anykind of art, i suck at drawing, i suck at writing, i suck at acting, and i suck at music. If im not good at anything am even worth anything good?

Don't touch her im a doctor

Till we meet again, miss linda

For someone who's annoyingly happy go lucky all the time you're being very pessimistic right now

Homophoney

I am certain that i am certainly uncertain

Im just as retarded as a goldfish

Baby it's not me because maybe it's you

See u in hell

What makes you think this isn't your fault either. You made them like this, it was your fault from the beginning. We could've ended this peacefully. We could have liberated their poor souls. But now, now this can be over and we can finally be one again. See you in hell.

The cup is half empty. But that's not a bad thing, because even if it's empty you could still fill it up

People can be confusing... usually man is portrayed as strong and brave. But sometimes a single things can shatter them into a million pieces. A single word can send them into spiralling darkness. Which is why i dont do much, i dont speak much either, because i know that anything i do, anything i say will have consequences. (Que something dramatic). What did i do wrong? Why is this my fault? I didn't do anything wrong! I didn't do anything! "That's right, you didn't do anything", said a voice from the back of my head. It's all my fault.. i could've stopped them from falling.

You lied! You said that you would protect them! You saw how they looked, the fear in their eyes... they just wanted to be heard! And now look at what you've done... dont you ever speak their names again, hear their cries, you monster! You deserve to live with guilt. They were my friends... your friends... they were just here. And now they're gone...

I want to kermit suicide

I just want to do not living

I want to kermit not living

Just us kids

No amount of bandages can heal this now

Just like old times

There's always dinner waiting on the table, you know!

The girl as short can be then disappeared

"I just want to stop all the scars that grow, everytime that I go home

That's why I came up here instead"

That's what the girl in the yellow cardigan said

Taking off my yellow cardigan

Watching all my braids come undone

This petite girl, short as can be

Is gonna jump now

And be free

Yeah I dont think I can do this anymore

Nah we r disgusting creatures that kill innocent animals to feast and destroy our planet for our very own self satisfaction

I know communication for u is hard but if u keep stalling miscommunications can and will bite u in the ass sooner or later

It might be endless possibilities but in the end there is only one out come

Ya dingdong

Acting old doesnt make u mature, it just makes you boring

I just pulled the trigger

When the day after t omorrow comes

Will you shut up?! I'm monologueing here!

If the plane delays I'll swim all the way to ur doorstep and give u, ur tea leaves

DAMN TEA LEAVES

"Once we've reached our full potential we can finally put an end to this disgusting society and find an ending to this sad excuse of a story, once we've found the finale we can ascend... and soon... you will call us ascendant"

Shut the hell your mouth

Eff u

Is that an insult or a to do list

I hate sleeping because who knows when you'll wake up again

Everything you wished to be

Garbanzo

Garb n' anzo

(TV SHOWWW for le comic~ man I am a genius)

What once was your friend can become your enemy

Dont worry

You maybe her first love

But I'll be her last

Chemtrails

I just want to be your friend

Dont bleed on my floor

Fight me

Clairvoyance

The clairvoyant of the bucktooth massacre

Ethnic cleansing

The culprits

The victims

The witnesses

Even if u piss me off 24/7 I'd honestly do anything for u

Ethnic cleansing for the wayward unforgiving roadkills

[reduceyourcarbonyaoifootprint]

hello. i have decided to write this just as a send-off.. being silent would be unslightly, and i would like to say some things before i leave a website that has been a major part of my life for years.

i am leaving tumblr not due to recent events, but because if any observation had been directed towards my recent activity, it would point towards me just being too busy. it was simply a good time to drop it. i have glanced at my inbox and have heard of things said, but i dont plan on answering them all in what would just result in even more hurt feelings and mixed emotions. that is the last thing i want.

never had i meant to hide who i was. if you check my blog, i’ve practically never spoken politics, answered politically-charged asks, or reblogged political posts. im sure there could be one or two exceptions, but it’s not as though my political ideologies are ALL of the same nature. if my friend horseclaw (i believe is his (last pronoun i was told to use) url right now?) had simply asked me instead of confronting me without warning and leaving my home immediately after without giving me a chance to defend myself or help ease emotions, i would certainly not have hidden the fact of my politcal leaning. actually, i have been quite public everywhere outside of tumblr with it (snap+insta). my twitter was not a “secret” (and really i’ve only had it for a couple of weeks & barely go on it), it simply wasn’t something i figured any of my liberal friends would be interested in and it never came up. if he had asked “is this yours? why are you saying these things? could you please explain your beliefs here?”, i would have had no problem explaining them. no one asked.

i avoided politics altogether on tumblr because i saw my purpose here to help lend advice and a listening ear to those who need it. i feel i had done that, even if everyone may think of me as a traitor or a fake now. i entirely understand and sympathize with everyone’s emotions. i know you’re all probably hurting, and i know a lot of this “im sorry” dialogue probably sounds like bullshit. however, i do want you all to know that i never “pretended” to be anything; at the time of my names and pronoun usages, my posts about being trans & gay & the like - i genuinely did identify as such during those times. i had identified as such for.. 3 ½ years or so? since approximately early 2015. i even went by a different name at school, different pronouns.. i acted entirely different, particularly in 2015. i was someone else. very, very recently, that has changed. what hasn’t changed is the amount of compassion i still have for the warm tumblr community, but i understand that things are rough now and it’s a website that needs to depart from my busy reality right now anyways.

i’m glad for all the memories we got to share, i’m glad that i was able to help even one person. that’s what i wanted. i’m sorry for the hurt feelings. i’m also sorry that so many close friends, some friends who i’ve known for 3 years and built countless memories with and opened my heart to, have left due to a label. i believe the person at their core matters. that’s why i had so many liberal friends - sure, you all had some different views than i, but you’re all people with bleeding hearts for the citizens of the world, for your peers, for your community. i understand wanting to keep that sacred, too. that’s why i’m not hounding, not fighting for the chance to force anyone to bend their morals to remain my friend. if someone you know goes against what you stand for, by God, listen to your heart and don’t associate with them. if that’s truly what you feel. i’m sad for the departure in such a manner, but i relate to everyone else’s perspective and i want you all to know that from the bottom of my heart, it was a pleasure being there for everyone over the past couple of years on tumblr.

i have not blocked anyone, but i will not reply to anything on tumblr or discord simply because i have left those outlets and don’t plan to/will not be checking them. however, to my friends who were close to me; if ever you want to say something, reach out. years from now, even. i very well know that wounds like these can remain fresh for many years, and so i do not expect anyone to do any such thing. i just want the option to be stated as open.

as for my beliefs: yes, i am conservative. yes, i am christian. it’s an unfortunate world that we live in where we no longer feel we can have friends with different views and agree to disagree and not speak politics, nor can we have friends to get in awful debates with, to hate for a week at a time, to come back and ultimately respect that “to each their own”, and continue on with life. but i get it. your lives are all at key points right now and you’re very sensitive to the topics you’re passionate about. rightfully so. many of these issues, like the fight for LGBT rights amongst other things, directly impact you or someone you love. you have every single right to fight for those ideals to your death. to defend them with your life. just as i have mine, and will continue to do so. sure, my tweets were radical in the eyes of some. hurtful, perpetuating of ugly desires and disgusting opposing view points. you have a right to believe that, and i have a right to defend my opinions. that’s the beauty of this country.

but, i digress. this has turned into quite the essay! all i wanted to say with this was… thank you, i understand your pains but just as you all cannot, i will not compromise my ideologies for another’s, and i’m sorry i cannot be remembered as a beacon of positivity and advice as i once had been when assumed to stand with you all. i wish for you all the best of lives, and i hope that whatever you might be wishing to achieve in your time and in your pursuits to change the world we live in, you may someday see them come to light. thank you for the support before this. thank you for the laughs. most of all, thank you for the opportunity to help someone somewhere, at one point or another, strive to be their best self and reach greatness. may we all meet on the other side, and may the years to come mold us as fate intends.

best of wishes.💛

i-is that all i am to you..? a canonmate? just an edgy kinnie…? i bet all those times we matched icons didnt even matter. are you gonna replace me with another sasuke, too?!

[scum-belina]

So what is the Young Pope actually about, I get that he's a Pope and he's young, but what else is there?

He's a young pope and nobody really knows how he managed to become pope, not even Lenny (da young pope) himself, but many in the Vatican thought "well this will work out bc he's young and will further our progressive liberal ideas in the church" BUT SLAM ON THE BREAKS BOI TURNS OUT LENNY THE MOST CONSERVATIVE OF THEM ALL, which leaves the vast majority of the Vatican, especially the ones who are more in it for power and politics, positively SHOOK. Especially voiello who is the Secretary of State he's a weasle. Even many who were closest to Lenny before he became pope turn on him and it is just not right and it makes him SAD and makes me MAD. The rest of the series is mainly Lenny doing his unconventional pope stuff while many of the big shots in the Vatican scheme and try to find any weakness him to take him down. They try all kinds of things to get him to stumble but he always knows what they're trying to do to him so he's always like "I know what ur doin" and voiello get scared and runs away to do more schemin. Lenny has few friends in the church but the few he does have are precious treasures. Lenny's such a complex character I honestly could write an essay on him. He's genuinely a good person, but flawed, but not in the way people would think. He definitely struggles with doubt, and is extremely traumatized over the fact his hippie parents dropped him off at an orphanage when he was a kid just because they didn't want the responsibility of raising him. He desperately wants to find his parents and sadly some in the Vatican try and use this against him, but he still figured it out but despite him being incredibly wise and not being fooled by all their schemes he is an incredibly sad and lonely person inside and truthfully just wants love and approval im cryinghgTbh I'm not doing this show any justice. It's almost impossible to put it in a genre. It really took me by surprise, I expected it to be WAY more irreverent than it was. I wouldn't say it's necessarily pro-Christian, but I think it's a show Christians can enjoy so long as you use discernment to see some of the things they get wrong. I originally thought like everyone else that he'd just be this slutty pope who would party it up in the Vatican but NOPE NOT THIS POPE!!! But once I found out that he was actually a hardcore conservative pope I thought "aaah I see, he starts out all strict but gradually they'll make him become a bleeding heart liberal pope" but that's not been the case either and I'm glad. This show has been anything but predictable. It gets a 10/10 from me.

[janbaar]

guess who jst fucking infodumped on r/ftm instead of working on his college apps like a real person????? its fucking me. i’m so lost & tired & helpless rn nd i think im coming down w something & im superlightheaded but im dumping what i said there all under a readmore so if youre interested in. helping out a young dumb lazy sonovabitch 

I'm a senior in high school right now trying to work on college applications/essays- I'm struggling with how to handle the elephant in the room, and how it affects where I'm applying to/my immediate future.

I'm transmasculine, closeted to my immediate family (conservative/religious) but out to teachers/classmates. I figured it out fully around sophomore year, but always struggled with a bunch of smaller, gender-related issues that turned out to be. this? If that makes sense (I thought I was non-binary around freshman year, but now I can definitely say that I'm just a guy and all the things that made me think i was nonbinary were just symptoms of the fact that I'm super uncomfortable with being pigeonholed into the wrong category.. which brings us to the big stuff.)

I go to school in a public, but strongly supported (read: well-funded) community that's 'liberal' in the sense that policy leans towards inclusion, but school culture leans heavy right- which means that even though I'm trans and out and all that, I never say/do anything in/outside of class that could get me pinned as a bleeding-heart, liberal sjw etc etc etc. and from what I do know, schools want authenticity- they want honesty, they want achievement, they want hallmark stories where the trans kid became a leader and revived gay culture in the metropolitan area while saving drowning puppies and ending homophobia, all while maintaining a shiny 4.0 GPA.

And I'm. none of those things.

I have teachers and a counselor who are using he/him pronouns in my rec letters, and I put down that I was ftm in the common app- but other than being a 'double minority' (transgender and ethnically asian, whoopee) I'm really not remarkable in any way. My gpa is average at best (especially for the school) and I've sunk most of my off-school time in one semi-solid extracurricular (stage crew, unspoken gay hangout) and I'm just. overwhelmed by the whole process in general.

All of my deadlines are around the January season, and I'm doing regular decision for everything- I'm only applying to schools that cover hrt+ in their student healthcare programs, and a few of those are small liberal arts schools (think like allegheny, vassar small.) But I honestly don't have a completely solid, concrete idea of what I want to do in the immediate future (I have a ton of small, floaty ideas up in the air rn and a few grand, big gestures, but I have no idea if any of them are realistic.) And I'm worried that it comes across in my essays, which I've written and re-written so many times because I don't know how much I should (can?) even talk about being transmasculine outside of "hey, i'm very gay, i'd like a few dollars please (and also i'm very insecure! pity me!)"

I just wanna hear from anybody out there who's gone through the process recently, or is at least struggling w it right now too- did you talk about being trans? Did you mention it at all (in the app, in your essays, etc)? Is it better or worse in college, can you afford hrt along with tuition & housing prices, is it even worth going through with it at all?

i'm just. super lost right now, which is why i'm up at midnight writing this instead of doing anything real with my time. anything would help, don't feel obligated to respond to all of it! i'd just really appreciate any support/validation/affirmation right now.

[4longyears]

my shithead brother in law bought a bunch of pro trump stickers to put all over his house and im just.

i know he's just doing this shit to make the '''liberals''' in my family mad and yeah we all knew his political viewpoints already but.

WE ARE LIVING IN A HELLSCAPE HE HELPED YOU CREATE can you not show a LITTLE fucking decency you asshole?????

i mean we live in California so his pro trump vote will be basically meaningless in terms of the election but FUCK i don't understand how my supposed leftist sister can stand his ass. he just goes on and on about 'really it wasn't his fault this disease started' or 'he did the best he could' or 'Republican politicians put profit and thier own pockets above peoples lives but who doesn't? its only natural' NO THE FUCK IT ISNT i went off on this huge rant for like 3 straight hours bc his dumb ass didnt have the sense to shut the hell up but ultimately it was meaningless bc i didnt convice him of anything except that im some bleeding heart weirdo for expecting better from our government.

it certainly didnt help that i saw two trump signs on people's lawns and some asshole in a truck sporting a trump 2020 shirt today, i cant even imagine how people who live in red states deal with seeing that kinda shit on the regular. every time i see a red hat or trump sign i get so angry and sad and revolted.

everything just feels so hopeless right now, and im becoming more and more convinced that we're gonna have another 4 years of this orange pile of shit

and as horrible and depressing as that thought is it doesn't really solve these family problems.

i mean like. i love my sister and my niece and nephew but good lord i am NOT gonna be able to stand her husband that much longer. its not even a 'we only see each other on thanksgiving' thing. ive helped them take care of their kids for YEARS. i changed more than my fair share of diapers, and anytime they needed a last minute babysitter i was THERE. i used to just go to their house and chill during the weekend. Ive dogsat for them many times before. ive seen them have drunken screaming fights with each other and not gossiped about it. they made me responsible for one of their kid's distance learning (im getting paid but thats still a lot of work/responsibility). We've gotten each other Christmas presents and birthday presents and we all see each other every other weekend.

thats why this is so painful, he just doesn't seem to understand how hurtful his outspoken dedication to trump is to me personally. and ive tried to make it clear on many occasions but he just dismisses it as 'women be mad'.

i mean i try to be civil to him, but HE just cannot stop himself from talking politics despite the fact that HE KNOWS everyone else in my immediate family votes democrat. i mean im usually a very chill and easy person to get along with but trump supporters get an immediate "oh you are just an irredeemable shithead, huh?" reaction

ughhhhhauwjwhsial i just dont know what to do about all this. i feel terrible every single day that brings more news but being unplugged from social media/news makes me feel irresponsible. i cant handle this shit.