#But if you can't connect to other people. how are you supposed to have relationships? The connection is. like. THE WHOLE THING????

[spacesheeeeeep]

I think you might find the mother-daughter sexual abuse angle in Black Swan of interest if you haven't already delved into that

yesss

I was really taken aback by their relationship when I first watched the film because the incestuous subtext was pretty blatant and I hadn't seen any discussion around it beforehand. The idea of the abusive mother is still pretty hard to register for certain people, so when you add sexual abuse into the mix, plus inflicted on another woman, it mostly disappears from analysis.

[kushamisaru]

When I get over my yucky feelings for the pair Drew and Willow are so funny because it's like, predicated on the notion that Drew was the big hero in her cancer storyline when I barely remember the role he played in it. Wasn't he off on some wild goose chase or something? Liesel is and always has been the hero of that story to me since she ended up being her donor.

[mewguca]

I'll put this here too I guess. this primarily concerns Vanilla

Something I feel like I don't see discussed very often in this fandom is how moon being a woman is integral to her character. The way she conducts herself, the way she speaks... it all screams "female social conditioning" and especially "eldest daughter syndrome" to me. Don't be rude, always be nurturing and kind, be patient, be supportive, be selfless, don't express aggression or negative opinions...

...None of us really miss the times when their cities were populated. Imagine having skin parasites that also ask for advice and have opinions...

I'm sorry, that was disrespectful. They were our parents after all.

- Pale Green Exterior Pearl

I've seen some people take her "skin parasites" comment as uncharacteristic and unfounded hatred instead of something extremely telling about how her "parents" have treated and conditioned her. The use of "parents" is very purposeful here, I feel. Her immediate retraction and apology evoke the image of a daughter who had a poor relationship / was mistreated by her parents and is left with conflicting and complicated emotions she can't process. She resents them, but she also feels indebted to them, and perhaps her acknowledgement of them as "parents" may imply affection, as well. Regardless, since she cannot process these emotions (and feels it is wrong of her to hold them to begin with), she represses them. She retracts her comment and apologizes for being disrespectful.

That's probably all she's ever known how to do. All she's ever been allowed to do. Moon seems very conscientious about behaving "politely." Don't get me wrong, Moon clearly values kindness and hope; those are core to her character. She doesn't like being angry, and it doesn't usually benefit her or help anyone.

...It's useless to be angry at an animal following its instincts. Once, a single neuron meant nothing to me...

...I'm still angry at you, but it is good to have someone to talk to after all this time. The scavengers aren't exactly good listeners. They do bring me things though, occasionally...

- Returning to LTTM who has 4 Neurons left

She displays emotional maturity here by acknowledging and communicating her anger whilst not letting it cloud her judgment. Instead of holding things against the slugcat, she continues talking to them, because she understands that staying mad at them won't help anybody.

I don't think being angrier would help her, and her willingness to forgive and let go of it is a strength. But I believe her emotional repression takes that maturity and strength of character and creates something a little more complicated — a woman who struggles to fully process her negative emotions, especially surrounding people and concepts she is meant to respect. Her core values ride the line between virtue and vice (being willing to forgive and caring for others vs being too passive and repressing her own needs), and her actions are layered and nuanced, just like a real person.

This isn't to say she is against expressions of anger or negative emotions wholesale.

...I could read a bit of Five Pebbles in this neuron before formatting it. His condition has severely deteriorated since last I heard of him. The frustration he feels is profound, and that angst has seeped into every part of him, every neuron.I could read a bit of Five Pebbles in this neuron before formatting it. His condition has severely deteriorated since last I heard of him. The frustration he feels is profound, and that angst has seeped into every part of him, every neuron.

We were supposed to help everyone, you know. Everything. That was our purpose: a great gift to the lesser beings of the world. When facing our inability to do so, we all reacted differently. Many with madness...

even back when we were all more or less connected there were those who reacted to their task with anger. I can only imagine they are angrier now, alone in their cans, left only with their insatiable drive.

- bringing one of FP's neurons to LTTM

She empathizes with the frustration that FP feels in a very literal sense; she's processing his emotions from the neuron. She doesn't judge or rebuke him for this; rather, she explains why he might be frustrated, and that he is likely not alone in feeling this way.

So, it's fine when others express that anger. Just not for Moon. Ironically, the fandom sometimes reinforces this. Moon can get mad at you and refuse to speak to you if you treat her in ways she doesn't want to be treated. (setting and enforcing boundaries) I've seen (some) people say she's being mean or unreasonable here. You're not trying to hurt her, and your actions are quite tame. But these actions cause Moon great distress and make her feel disregarded. Holding her neurons likely inhibits their function, jumping around likely overstimulates her, and interrupting her while she's speaking to you is just plain rude.

But some people still seem shocked by this; they're not used to NPCs setting boundaries with them like they're actual people. And Moon is usually very nice to you! So when she enforces these boundaries, some people get frustrated and confused.

...This ties into the parentification of LTTM, a phenomenon that greatly upsets me.

People expect her to be unconditionally and endlessly loving and patient and supportive, and then when she acts like a normal human being, they get mad. Because they expect her to be their mom.

And yes, she is very caring, supportive, and patient! She's also eloquent and enthusiastic, emotionally repressed, hopeful and kind, someone who struggles to assert herself, someone who enjoys sharing knowledge with others, someone who's careful about the way she conducts herself, someone who speaks fondly of sky-sails in flight during big festivals, etc...

She's very caring towards others. Like a Big Sister. She is Big Sister-coded. Her name is Broadcasts is Big Sis / Big Sister Moon. It could not be more obvious, and yet some people force her into the role of "mother" because on an unconscious level, they can only conceive of women as mothers and wives.

Perhaps that is too biting, but I believe it is true. It does not help that her Counterpart (Five Pebbles) is often infantilized in tandem, but that is a conversation for another time. I should also specify that forcing / expecting eldest daughters to take on a motherly role is a phenomenon widespread across various cultures and not something exclusive to the Rain World Fandom. ((it's a widespread societal issue!))

Regardless, this view of Moon as a mother plays into this idea that she must be unfailingly kind, unconditionally patient, and unfathomably supportive. Moon likely even expects these things of herself. The expectations of a Big Sister are not so different, after all.

And she is trying very, very hard. She is exhausted and irritable, she hardly functions, and she has very few resources to help her. Don't get me wrong, I do think she is an exceptionally kind person, but that is because she wants to be. Her kindness is not the default; it is not owed to you or to be expected of everyone you meet. Looks To The Moon remains kind and hopeful because she is fighting every moment of her life for it to be so.

Unfortunately, her efforts often go unacknowledged and her radical empathy (influenced by her unique circumstances) taken for granted.

People often focus on how it feels to be someone's "Little Brother", to live in their shadow...

But what about how Moon feels? What about the struggles of being responsible for another person? Of being an example for them and held to higher standards? Of unfailingly devoting your support to them? How she struggled to assert herself, to go against her sibling... How she may feel guilt over both her inaction and her subsequent action... Maybe she should've acted sooner. Maybe she shouldn't have acted at all. Maybe, if she had just been a better Big Sister, none of this would've happened to begin with.

We don't really know how she feels about all that, though. (She probably doesn't, either, haha) It's all just speculation at the end of the day. And I don't want to make it seem like her "Big Sister" role is an entirely negative or oppressive thing. Again, she is kind! She likes teaching others! She's very understanding and caring, and she has a lot of patience and maturity! I just think it's fun to point out these subtler details.

I think viewing Moon as someone who has been socialized as a woman and as a big sister specifically gives a lot of meaningful insight into her character. And it's not something I see discussed a ton in general.

Other Notes I didn't know where to put:

Eldest Daughter Syndrome I cannot re-iterate this enough

I feel like sometimes people make moon assertive or more aggressive to compensate for her suffering. Like, because she's FP Local Group Senior, she has to be authoritative. I think these people focus too much on the "Big" and not enough on the "Sister" aspect. Moon isn't a girlboss, and that's okay! It's okay for her to struggle with things. (But, being fair, you're not hurting anyone by doing this, so do what makes you happy etc etc. I just think it can potentially come from a place of devaluing "weakness" often associated with traditionally feminine traits, and it's good to examine that.)

Furthering the aggression point, I think some people see that Five Pebbles hurt her and think that there needs to be some sort of retribution. That Moon should hate him, resent him, and want to hurt him back. But I feel like forgiveness makes much more sense for Rain World. Moon isn't being unrealistically kind or too much of a pushover by forgiving Pebbles and not holding resentment towards him; she's at peace. She doesn't want to hurt him or hate him, and doing so wouldn't bring her any catharsis. (And he doesn't want to hurt her, either! i could make an entirely different ramble about why I think the Vanilla siblings could and should reconcile but I'll save that for another time ig) uhhhh this isn't entirely gendered something something Care Ethics

LTTM and FP serve as foils in a lot of ways. I think there is an enlightening conversation to be had about how FP explores / presents traditionally masculine traits or a masculine socialization.

The bennies / ancients / whatever seem to place a lot of importance on Obligations. I think Roles were probably important to them. Being a Big Sister likely had a lot of Obligations that came with it.

I get that LTTM and FP are not like explicitly specifically siblings in Vanilla. I do think it is implied, though. They have a unique physical connection and live in very close proximity to one another. There's no flashing "THESE TWO ARE SIBLINGS!!" sign, but the subtext is there, and I prefer to interpret them as such. alternative readings could instead be "all local group iterators are related" or "none of these people are related". do what you want ig

Was any of this even intentional? I'm probably reading a liiiittle too much into things, but I do think this was intentional. She's "Big Sister Moon" in the broadcasts. She could've just had her normal name, but they decided to make her "Big Sister Moon." Vanilla is subtle and largely up to interpretation, but it is very purposeful, I feel. I don't think they named her BSM just for fun, lol. (But maybe I'm wrong!)

I do not want to undermine FP's struggles and equally fascinating character-writing here. There's a whole host of issues I have with how people see FP, but I feel like many people have spoken about this at-length, and most are aware of the common complaints that tend to arise. With LTTM, I feel like people generally really like her, but they don't appreciate / talk about the finer nuances of her character as much. People like her because she's really nice, but there's more to her than that. ((also because it's fun to talk about that's kinda the main reason I made this))

I do actually have some thoughts about DP canon and the relationship between LTTM and FP and her role as Big Sister within that canon ((like how people misinterpret FP's construction as being for LTTM rather than primarily to serve her Citizens with LTTM being alleviated as a bonus)) but to be honest there's so much to read with DP that I don't really want to try and tackle it. Furthermore, DP canon will on multiple occasions either contradict itself or muddy the concepts it's trying to communicate and this makes it a lot harder to work with when it comes to interpretations and readings aha.

im just a random person on the internet so please don't take my word as gospel. feel free to disagree with me or provide your own insights, etc.

thanks for reading. sorry if this is hard to read on light mode

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Return to office and dying on the job

Denise Prudhomme's bosses at Wells Fargo insisted that the in-person camaraderie of their offices warranted a mandatory return-to-office policy, but when she died at her desk in her Tempe, AZ office, no one noticed for four days.

That was in August. Now, Wells Fargo United has published a statement on her death, one that vibrates with anger at the callously selective surveillance that Wells Fargo inflicts on its workforce:

https://www.reddit.com/r/WellsFargoUnited/comments/1fnp9fa/please_print_and_take_to_your_managersite_leader/

The union points out that Wells Fargo workers are subjected to continuous, fine-grained on-the-job surveillance from a variety of bossware tools that count their keystrokes and create tables of the distancess their mice cross each day:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/24/gwb-rumsfeld-monsters/#bossware

Wells Fargo's message to its workforce is, "You can't be trusted," a policy that Wells Fargo doubled down on with its Return to Office mandate. Return to Office is often pitched as a chance to improve teamwork, communication, and human connection with your co-workers, and there's no arguing with the idea that spending some time in person with people can help improve working relationships (I attended a week-long, all-hands, staff retreat for EFF earlier this month and it was fantastic, primarily due to its in-person nature).

But our bosses don't want us back in the office because they enjoy our company, nor because they're so excited about having hired such a swell bunch of folks and can't wait to see how we all get along together. As John Quiggin writes, the biggest reason to force us back to the office is to get a bunch of us to quit:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/sep/26/in-their-plaintive-call-for-a-return-to-the-office-ceos-reveal-how-little-they-are-needed

As one of Musk's toadies put it in a private message before the Twitter takeover, "Sharpen your blades boys. 2 day a week Office requirement = 20% voluntary departures":

https://techcrunch.com/2022/09/29/elon-musk-texts-discovery-twitter/

The other reason to spy on us is because they don't trust us. Remember all the panic about "quiet quitting" and "no one wants to work"? Bosses' hypothesis was that eking out a bare minimum living on from a couple of small-dollar covid stimulus checks was preferable to working for them for a full paycheck.

Every accusation is a a confession. When your boss tells you that he thinks that you can't be trusted to do a good job without total, constant surveillance, he's really saying, "I only bother to do my CEO job when I'm afraid of getting fired':

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/19/make-them-afraid/#fear-is-their-mind-killer

As Wells Fargo United notes, Wells Fargo employees like Denise Prudhomme are spied on from the moment they set foot in the building until the moment they clock out (and sometimes the spying continues when you're off the clock):

Wells Fargo monitors our every move and keystroke using remote, electronic technologies—purportedly to evaluate our productivity—and will fire us if we are caught not making enough keystrokes on our computers.

The Arizona Republic coverage notes further that Prudhomme had to log her comings and goings from the Wells Fargo offices with a badge, so Wells Fargo could see that Prudhomme had entered the premises four days before, but hadn't left:

https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/tempe-breaking/2024/09/23/wells-fargo-employees-union-responds-death-tempe-woman/75352015007/

Wells Fargo has mandated in-person working, even when that means crossing a state line to be closer to the office. They've created "hub cities" where workers are supposed to turn up. This may sound convivial, but Prudhomme was the only member of her team working out of the Tempe hub, so she was being asked to leave her home, travel long distances, and spend her days in a distant corner of the building where no one ventured for periods of (at least) four days at a time.

Bosses are so convinced that they themselves would goof off if they could that they fixate on forcing employees to spend their days in the office, no matter what the cost. Back in March 2020, Charter CEO Tom Rutledge – then the highest-paid CEO in America – instituted a policy that every back office staffer had to work in person at his call centers. This was the most deadly phase of the pandemic, there was no PPE to speak of, we didn't understand transmission very well, and vaccines didn't exist yet. Charter is a telecommunications company and it was booming as workers across America upgraded their broadband so they could work from home, and the CEO's response was to ban remote work. His customer service centers were superspreading charnel houses:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/03/18/diy-tp/#sociopathy

That Wells Fargo would leave a dead employee at her desk for four days is par for the course for the third-largest commercial bank in America. This is Wells Fargo, remember, the company that forced its low-level bank staff to open two million fake accounts in order to steal from their customers and defraud their shareholders, then fired and blackballed staff who complained:

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/09/26/495454165/ex-wells-fargo-employees-sue-allege-they-were-punished-for-not-breaking-law

The executive who ran that swindle got a $125 million bonus:

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2016/09/wells-fargo-ceos-teflon-don-act-backfires-at-senate-hearing-i-take-full-responsibility-means-anything-but.html

And the CEO got $200 million:

https://money.cnn.com/2016/09/21/investing/wells-fargo-fired-workers-retaliation-fake-accounts/index.html

It's not like Wells Fargo treats its workers badly but does well by everyone else. Remember, those fake accounts existed as part of a fraud on the company's investors. The company went on to steal $76m from its customers on currency conversions. They also foreclosed on customers who were up to date on their mortgages, seizing and selling off all their possessions. They argued that when bosses pressured tellers into forging customers on fraudulent account-opening paperwork, that those customers had lost their right to sue, since the fraudulent paperwork had a binding arbitration clause. When they finally agreed to pay restitution to their victims, they made the payments opt-in, ensuring that most of the millions of people they stole from would never get their money back.

They stole millions with fraudulent "home warranties." They stole millions from small businesses with fake credit-card fees. They defrauded 800,000 customers through an insurance scam, and stole 25,000 customers' cars with illegal repos. They led the pre-2008 pack on mis-selling deceptive mortgages that blew up and triggered the foreclosure epidemic. They loaned vast sums to Trump, who slashed their taxes, and then they fired 26.000 workers and did a $40.6B stock buyback. They stole 525 homes from mortgage borrowers and blamed it on a "computer glitch":

https://pluralistic.net/2021/09/29/jubilance/#too-big-to-jail

Given all this, two things are obvious: first, if anyone is going to be monitored for crimes, fraud and scams, it should be Wells Fargo, not its workers. Second, Wells Fargo's surveillance system exists solely to terrorize workers, not to help them. As Wells Fargo United writes:

We demand improved safety precautions that are not punitive or cause further stress for employees. The solution is not more monitoring, but ensuring that we are all connected to a supportive work environment instead of warehoused away in a back office.

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/27/sharpen-your-blades-boys/#disciplinary-technology

[specialgradefckr]

Catching Strays

Satoru Gojo is rich. Obscenely so.

But he's also busy - too busy to have time to meet someone and go through all the song and dance of dating and having a relationship.

The hookups... even being a certified fantastic top tier lay, it's just not doing it for him anymore.

He wants that connection. The intimacy. The personal knowledge and inside jokes and soft affection that comes with a relationship.

And sure, some of it is on him. He's got a fun personality - jokes and jibes and little remarks that he really doesn't mean badly, but tend to be taken in certain ways.

("That's a lot of words to say I'm an asshole." His last potential date had snapped. "Even with a face like yours, people have standards. My life doesn't revolve around you.")

Really, he's nice when you get to know him! But he's also lonely, and bored, and every hobby he tries out never lasts more than a couple days.

It's hard, being as naturally talented and intuitive and as intelligent as him. Everything gets old so fast. It's all too easy.

Gets him wound up. He's got so much energy. And the one thing that never gets old to him? Other people.

So when he meets new people he can be sort of... overwhelming. Overly familiar. Annoying. Clingy.

(Okay, maybe he's a little bitter about how that last one. He'd offered to pay her bills! Why was she so worked up over her dumb career? He had way more money, and he was plenty generous with it!)

Lately, he's been toying with a different solution to his problems - hybrids.

They're like people, just basically as pets (which sounds a little messed up when he thinks about it, so he promptly stops thinking, and the problem goes away) - companions who can live with him, eat with him at mealtimes, cuddle up and even provide some intimacy.

That sort of thing is apparently frowned on, but who cares? It's not like he'd ever force anyone. One look at him and they'd be begging for it.

Do you ever think about anyone besides yourself? You're going to wake up alone one day, with no one to put up with your selfishness.

And besides, they'd live together! They'd become friends naturally!

Yeah... a pet would be great for a busy guy like him. Just some cute thing sitting and waiting for him at home, ready to jump on him as soon as he's back.

("Gojo, you barely take care of yourself. You think you can take care of another person?"

"Please, I've looked this up! Cat hybrids are especially independent. Come on, can't you see me with a cute little kitty curled up in my lap?"

"You're actually hopeless.")

Shoko doesn't know what she's talking about. He can be responsible, he simply chooses not to, because life is easier that way. But cats are easy to take care of!

He just has to find the right one. He's been to a couple shelters, but none of the hybrids there have spoken to him.

It's kitten season, apparently - they're really pushing the young ones on him. But Satoru, despite what Shoko thinks, is responsible. He's looking for something older, mature, able to take care of itself (and also consent).

And what does he see as he strolls through a less-wealthy part of town on his way to his favorite ramen shop?

A cute little stray, big pleading eyes and a sign saying "Anything Helps", tail curled up around you as you look up hopefully to passing strangers.

His heart squeezes a little at the sight. There's a small dish in front of you with a scattering of spare change.

Satoru stops, mid-stride, backing up and grinning down at you.

Looks like it's this kitty's lucky day.

So... it turns out it's not so simple to adopt a stray hybrid.

It's a little annoying. You're a sorry, scraggly thing, begging for scraps in a dingy side corner.

And yet you seem to take some kind of issue with his generous offer of adoption.

Satoru supposes he can forgive you for not trusting a stranger, but he brought you out for ramen! You sat with him for the whole meal! That's longer than ninety percent of his dates have tolerated him!

Deep down, some voice is echoing the same old taunts in different words.

Even a stray off the street doesn't want your company. The best you can do is bribe people to love you, and even with all your money, the love runs out quick.

Funny how the voice sounds a lot like his mother! When talking to his dad, of course. Not him. His parents both loved him.

They'd sent him to the most expensive schools, bought him all the latest and greatest of everything, gave him a penthouse and a vacation home as a graduation gift.

Only, it was sort of big for him to live in all by himself. Satoru tries explaining it to you, but you're reluctant for some reason.

It's hard to tell, between all your stammering and nervous trailing off. How you seemed to stare at him, distracted by his beauty.

Heh. He does get that a lot. But you're the cutest, sweetest, most darling creature he's ever laid eyes on, all pathetic and needy-eyed, and he's not going home without a kitty today.

"What do I have to do to make you come with me?" Satoru says it bluntly. "I have money. All the money you could ever want. You can eat bluefin tuna every day-"

"I eat the blue tunas all the time," You interrupt him eagerly, "The ones in the can!"

"Not those - it's - listen, just tell me you'll come back with me!" He really wants to take you home now. You're just too cute.

Your ears droop (oh my GOD it's so adorable), "I'm sorry, I... I don't know. I need to get back to my spot before Suguru comes looking for me."

A dark feeling seems to creep over him like a shadow. You have an owner? And he's making you beg out on the streets?

Well, you are a very convincing cutie. But Satoru doesn't support scam artists! He makes you eat canned tuna.

You do seem to be in relatively good condition, though, now that he takes a second look at you. No fresh cuts or bruises, not a scratch. Your clothes are worn and dirty but you're surprisingly well groomed otherwise.

"And you want to go back with him? I'm way richer," Satoru says, crossing his arms, looking down at you over his glasses.

"Oh, uh, Suguru is also a stray," You say sheepishly, tail swaying gently, "He's my friend. He takes care of me, I could never leave him behind."

Something twists in his chest. You didn't want to leave your friend - that was why.

One pet was already a reach for him, really. But taking in you both?

Give it up already. You're not capable of love. You aren't capable of caring about anyone besides yourself. You're selfish, and you're fine with it.

You'll die alone, Gojo.

He smiles at you, a wide, easy grin.

"I've got room for two."

Read the next part here!

[honeytae]

synopsis: what happens when your relationship falls apart, and the connection you’ve been missing has been right in front of you all along? based off the song call me when you break up by selena gomez, benny blanco, and gracie abrams.

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 2.4k

warnings: mc has sm anxiety in the beginning, SO MUCH YEARNING, breakup scene, friendship tension & mixed signals between besties, confessions, K I S S I N G!

the apartment feels too quiet, the humming of the refrigerator only momentarily breaking the stillness. you sit on the couch, stretching your leg into the late afternoon sunlight spilling across the floor, but it doesn't feel warm.

you can hear your boyfriend shuffling into the room, his footsteps faint but familiar. you know him so well, and yet, in this moment, you feel like you're on opposite sides of an invisible wall. it's the little things—the way your conversations have become one-sided, the way his laugh no longer feels like home.

you’ve been meaning to talk to him, but the words keep getting stuck in your throat. it's strange, really, how everything in your life can feel so right on the surface and yet... nothing seems to fit anymore.

it wasn’t supposed to be this way, but here you are. sitting across from the person who’s supposed to mean everything to you, feeling disconnected. you shift your gaze to glance at your boyfriend, his eyes focused on his phone, and the emptiness inside you deepens.

how did it get to this?

you can’t even remember when things started to feel... off. maybe it was a few months ago when you started noticing how your conversations with him—taehyung—felt more real, more alive than anything you shared with your boyfriend.

you glance at your phone, hoping to see a message notifcation from tae. when you open your text conversation, you note that the last time you received a text from him was over a week ago. you sigh, tossing your phone across the sofa in frustration.

taehyung’s presence decreased in your life when you both started dating other people. despite your constant reassurances, your partners were never fond of how close you were to him, and vice versa.

tae had broken up with his ex a few months ago, but was still keeping his distance. you imagine it’s to be respectful of your relationship, but you’d be lying if you said you don’t miss him.

your heart stops as your boyfriend looks up at you, then at the quiet space between you both. you can feel it now—the unspoken distance. it’s there, heavy in the air, thick like smoke that’s hard to clear.

“you good?” he says, his voice low. it’s almost like a question he’s afraid to ask, as if he already knows the answer.

you swallow hard, the weight of the words you’re about to say pressing down on your chest. it's been coming for a while, and now you can't pretend any longer. the distance, the silence—it’s all too much to ignore.

“i’ve been thinking,” you begin, your voice shaky as you try to make sense of what’s in your head. “i think we need to talk.”

he looks at you, his expression shifting just slightly. he’s not angry—not yet—but there's something that tightens in his eyes. he’s bracing himself, but you can tell he didn’t expect this.

“i’ve been distant,” you continue, the words falling out in a rush. “and i can’t keep pretending like i’m not. i don’t know how to fix it, and i don’t even think i want to. i’m not sure how we got here, but i... i can’t keep living in this place where we’re both holding on to something that’s slipping away.”

there’s a long silence after that. he doesn’t say anything right away, just looks at you, his eyes searching yours. it’s almost as if he’s waiting for you to say something more—something that will make it all better.

but there’s nothing else to say.

finally, he exhales, a long breath that feels heavier than it should. “i thought something was off,” he says, his voice quieter now. “but i didn’t want to push it. i kept telling myself it would get better, that we’d figure it out.”

your heart aches at the words, but you know they’re true. you haven’t been there for him in the way he deserves.

“i’m sorry,” you say, the words feeling too small to express everything you want to say. “i should’ve said something sooner. i should’ve been honest.”

he shrugs, looking away for a moment before meeting your gaze again. “it’s not your fault,” he mutters, but his words don’t offer any comfort. “it’s just... we’ve both been somewhere else for a while now, and i don’t know how to reach you anymore.”

the truth hits you in a way you weren’t ready for. you feel the sting of it—because you’ve been avoiding it for so long. the truth is, you’ve already checked out. you just didn’t have the courage to face it until now.

“i’m sorry,” you say again, but this time, it doesn’t feel any easier.

he leans back slightly, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of the conversation is settling on him too. “so... that’s it, then? this is what you want?”

you want to say something else, but you can’t. you’re not sure what else there is to say. you’re not even sure what you want. the feeling of being stuck has drained you, and now, with the reality of it staring you in the face, you realize you’ve already been gone for so long.

“i think... yeah,” you finally say, your voice quieter than you expect.

there’s a beat of silence where neither of you moves. you know it’s over, but you don’t know exactly how to close the door on something that was once so real.

“that taehyung must’ve got in your ear good, huh?”

the words cause heat to wash over your whole body, eyebrows furrowing in anger. you instantly go on the defense, like you always do when he tries to put tae down.

“what the fuck was that?” you ask, your voice shifting from your previous soft tone into an icier one.

“nevermind,” he raises his hands in surrender, and you pin him to the couch with your harsh glare.

thankfully, he doesn’t dare to say anything else.

you’re pissed, but knowing he’s not worth another fight, you get up to pack your things and let yourself out of his place without another word.

since the breakup, you’ve figured out the logistics and had your space to think, but nothing seems to fit right. you’ve stayed busy, tried to move on, but the emptiness lingers. you know you can’t keep pretending to be okay when you’re not.

and, if you’re honest with yourself, you miss taehyung. his absence feels like the one thing you haven’t been able to ignore.

it’s late when the sound of a knock at your door catches you off guard. you glance up from your social media doom-scrolling, frowning slightly.

you pull yourself up from the couch and move to answer it, your heart quickening in anticipation. when you open the door, you don’t expect to see him standing there—tae, looking like he just stepped out of your daydream.

“hey,” he says, his voice light but warm, though there’s a subtle vulnerability in his eyes that you don’t remember seeing before. “can i come in?”

you blink, surprised but not unwelcome. “uh, yeah... sure. of course,” you manage, stepping aside to allow him space in your small foyer.

tae steps inside, his damp jacket hanging off his shoulders, and you realize it’s still raining lightly outside. his presence fills the space, comfortable and familiar.

“so... this is where you’ve been hiding,” he says, his tone teasing as he glances directly at the copious amount of blankets bundled up on the sofa in your living room. “or nesting, i guess.”

you chuckle a little, a sound that feels foreign but nice. it’s been a while since you’ve laughed at anything. “yeah, whatever,” you retort, half-smiling. “how about you? you been doing okay?”

tae shrugs, a half-grin on his face. “i mean, i’ve survived. but i’ve definitely missed you.”

you raise an eyebrow, surprised by the honesty in his words. it’s as if he’s picking up on the fact that you’ve both been circling around something, and now, in this moment, it’s easy to bring it up.

“well, you were the one who pulled away, remember?” you try to joke, but it’s strained.

tae’s eyes drop to the floor for a moment, guilt flashing in his gaze. “i know,” he says quietly, then meets your eyes. “i just... didn’t want to make things more complicated.”

you take a breath, the words already tumbling out before you can stop them. “i could’ve used some company, you know. we broke up.”

taehyung’s eyes go wide, almost comically so. his neck moves forward, eyes hardening as he assesses the situation in a totally different light.

“he broke up with you? what the actual fu-”

“no, i broke up with him,” you cut him off before he can spiral any further, but the words feel strange. like they don’t belong in the same sentence as him. “a few weeks ago, actually.”

tae blinks, surprised, and steps closer, his hand instinctively reaching for yours. “you did? what happened?”

you can hear the concern in his voice, but there’s something else too. something almost like relief, like he’s been waiting for you to say it.

“i don’t know. it didn’t feel right,” you take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “i couldn’t keep pretending, tae. not to him, and not to myself.”

he’s quiet for a moment, letting your words sink in. you can see the soft flicker of understanding in his eyes, and for once, you don’t feel like you have to explain it at all.

finally, he steps forward and wraps you in a hug. it’s not tight, but it’s everything you need in that moment—comfort, acceptance, and, above all, understanding. he doesn’t say anything for a while, but when he pulls away, his gaze softens. “i’m sorry you had to do that. i know that couldn’t have been easy for you.”

you nod, the weight of it all crashing down now that you’ve finally said it out loud. “i think i was just scared. of choosing the wrong thing. of making the wrong decision. i don’t know,” you trail off, shrugging your shoulder in defeat.

tae’s fingers brush against your cheek, and you can feel the warmth of his touch, grounding you. “you don’t have to worry about that now,” he pauses, his voice becoming quieter, almost tender. “you’re here. that’s what matters.”

you meet his eyes, and for a moment, the world feels like it’s paused—like it’s just the two of you. you can feel the shift happening. the space between you both feels smaller now.

you take a breath, your voice low. “i missed you so much, tae.”

the words slip out, vulnerable and raw.

he smiles softly, his hand moving to brush a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “i missed you too,” he says quietly. “more than you know.”

you smile, casting your gaze over to the couch in your living room. you grasp his hand, pulling him beyond the foyer and back to your couch. “c’mon.”

“you’re inviting me into your fort?” he teases, following your lead, although he knows your apartment like the back of his hand.

you roll your eyes at him as you both settle into the sofa, falling into a comfortable silence. it’s not awkward. it’s the kind of quiet that’s been long overdue.

neither of you is rushing to fill the space, but there's a palpable shift in the air—something deeper than just friendship, but neither of you is ready to call it out yet.

“i’ve been thinking about what you said before,” you say after a beat, voice soft but honest. “about giving me space.”

tae looks at you, his gaze intense, but there’s something comforting in it. “yeah?” he says quietly, though there’s an undercurrent of hope in his tone. “and?”

you can feel your chest tighten as you take a breath, trying to gather the courage. there’s a heaviness in the air, but it’s not just the weight of silence. it’s the weight of the truth, lingering between you both, waiting to be acknowledged.

“i don’t want that,” you say quietly, breaking the silence, your voice softer than you intended. “i miss us, tae.”

he doesn’t say anything right away. he just glances at you with that look, the one that’s always made your heart skip. “i know,” he says after a beat, his voice low and calm. “me too.”

you swallow, suddenly feeling vulnerable, like you’ve just exposed a part of yourself you didn’t mean to. you want to look away, but you don’t. you hold his gaze, and for the first time, you realize how much you’ve been holding back.

“i’m sorry,” you say, suddenly overwhelmed by the gravity of everything. “i’m sorry for letting it get this far without saying anything.”

tae shakes his head, a small, bittersweet smile pulling at his lips. “there’s no need to apologize.” he looks at you, his gaze steady. “we both knew, didn’t we? it was just... easier not to face it.”

you close your eyes for a moment, your chest tight with everything you’ve been holding in. but now, in this space, with him sitting right in front of you, you realize there’s no point in running anymore. it’s here. it’s real.

when you open your eyes again, you can see it in his. the way he’s looking at you now—soft, vulnerable, and completely open.

his lips are close to yours, but neither of you moves just yet. it’s like time is standing still, giving you both a chance to breathe, to let the words you’ve been avoiding finally come to light.

“you’re really sure?” he asks, his deep voice thrumming right through you.

you nod, humming your affirmation as your eyes try to memorize each detail of his face.

and then, it happens. without another word, you close the distance.

his lips find yours gently, almost hesitantly at first, like he’s afraid you’ll pull away. but you don’t. instead, you melt into the kiss, the warmth between you growing, soft and steady, like everything is finally falling into place.

when you pull away, your breaths are shallow, but there’s no more fear, no more uncertainty. there’s only peace. a quiet understanding that this moment, this feeling, has been waiting for both of you to acknowledge it.

“maybe we should have done that sooner,” you whisper, a half-laugh escaping your lips.

tae chuckles, his forehead resting against yours, his breath warm against your skin. “maybe,” he agrees softly. “but it’s not too late, is it?”

“definitely not,” you smile, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you feel like you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

auther’s note: i hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it, although the breakup scene almost took me out entirely (it has been close to a decade since i broke up with someone so it was extremely difficult to tap back into that ancient history!)

this is the first installment of the i said i love you first series. i am so excited to share this universe with you all <3

[delphi-shield]

connection buffering . . . ↺

di!leon x reader - long-distance relationship - part 2

previous part

you weren't bluffing.

you'd made the sign. wrote his name in big block letters, too confident in how you wrote the first half of his name. the 'EDY' crowds together at the end. 'E' shoves 'D' close to the end, 'Y' drawn paper thin and cocked to the side, threatening to topple off the edge of the paper. leon finds he's not too tired to laugh.

he had the whole goddamn flight to figure out what to say to you, but when he sees you standing there with that sign in your hand, scanning the crowd for a man you expect to be two inches taller, it all flushes out of him to make room for the queasy feeling in his gut. when you finally spot him (thank god; the words had gotten lodged in his throat, your name running around his mind again, again, again, lodged so deep in the crevices that he couldn't pry it free and force it out his mouth) your smile nearly blinds him. he shields his eyes with a hand, watches you bounce on the balls of your feet.

he flicks your sign with a finger. the only words that make it past the lump in his throat are, "messed up the kerning, huh?"

you tip your head, puppy-dog cute. more adorable in person. "the what?"

"kerning." silence. you shake your head a little, blank look in your eye. leon tries to swallow, feels barbs jab into his throat. ten minutes on the ground and he's fucking up already. his gut turns. he tries to blame it on airplane peanuts. "the space between the letters."

he should get back on the plane. if he flashes his badge and declares it official business they have to let him on, right? brass wouldn't be happy with him, but what are they going to do? he's leon fucking kenn--

you laugh and his thoughts screech to a halt, plane crash on the concourse. footsteps pound past him - or maybe that's his heartbeat in his ears. your laugh is prettier in person, too.

"okay, all right." your face lights up, eyes squished to make room for your smile. "why do you know that?"

mentally, he flips through a rolodex of excuses. he moonlighted as a graphic designer (false), he was really into fonts (no strong opinions, really), it's classified (outright lie). he settles for the truth, shrugging.

"late night wikipedia dive."

you laugh again. his heart is a bird, fluttering in his chest, battering itself against his ribs to get to you. what the hell is wrong with him? he hadn't felt like this in years, thought he wasn't supposed to feel like this anymore. when you were an adult you grew out of this sort of giddiness. he'd choked it down every time he'd checked his phone under the table at an intelligence meeting, dismissed it as heartburn. he's supposed to want. it's supposed to be a blaze that swallows him up. confident and bold and all-consuming. not fidgety and desperate.

he's not anxious. he's a grown man. he's met presidents, plural. he doesn't get nervous meeting people, even if they're stunning, even if his hands twitch to hold theirs.

does he hug you? kiss you? slip his hand into your back pocket and guide you out of the terminal, lead you blindly to a car that isn't his, take you to an apartment he's only ever seen portions of on a 15 inch screen, ask what he can make you for dinner in your own home? that's what he wants. skip over all of this and slide right into familiarity, fly right past all the work it takes to get there. you've done the leg work, right? you know how you feel about each other. he's here. that says enough, doesn't it?

he's eternally grateful that you reach through his thoughts and pull him into a hug. your face stuffs into his shoulder, words muffled. "i'm so glad you're here."

you inhale deeply and he swears his heart does a backflip. jesus, he needs to get a physical. this can't be normal.

it's you who loops your arm with his, you who tugs him into motion. you rattle off questions that he answers as best he can. it feels like drowning, like he can barely keep his head above water. his flight was fine, thanks for asking. no, he didn't get any sleep. he never sleeps on planes. it's a long story. he didn't need a nap, but yeah, he could go for a coffee.

you know this great place, you reassure him. really low-key. he treads water in the parking garage while you dig for your keys. you drop them - twice - and he wonders if you're struggling to stay at the surface, too.

as a last act before sinking into the passenger seat, he rescues your sign from the trash, folding it neatly and tucking it into his pocket.

he looks up from buckling his seat belt, beckoned by the way you call his name. he's still smiling when you cup his cheeks and kiss him.

by day two, he's decided you need a new apartment. he hasn't told you that yet, figures it comes off too pushy, but he would fly back down to help you move if you wanted. (if he thinks it hard enough, won't you ask him to?)

don't misunderstand - he likes what you've done with the place. honest to god, you're a miracle worker with decor. you could really shape his place up.

it's just that your front door is less than secure. your locks are ran through. it would take him less than a minute to break in. he doesn't even want to think about your windows. other than being drafty, they're just another completely unsecured access point.

you'd invited him to sleep in your bed the first night, and he had every intention of doing so. he'd just passed out on the couch before he had the chance. leon had woken with a pillow stuffed under his head, thick, handmade blanket tucked over him. it was sweet. really.

but it wasn't the same as sleeping next to you.

leon has every intention of sleeping in your bed that night. you'd filled the day with a tour of your city, pointing out your favorite and least favorite spots, telling stories that let him imagine the streets as a stage, you as the star, top billing as far as he's concerned. everything had been optional, as you'd feverishly reassured him after every stop. he could change the itinerary with one word. the only mandatory stop had been lunch with your friends. a good sign, he thinks. if you're confident enough to introduce him to the people in your life, then you see this going somewhere, right?

by the time you hit your last stop, it feels like he's emerged from a war zone. leon would know. he's been run ragged on back to back operations before, but this - the pressure of trying to be right for you, to show you who he is, waiting on pins and needles for you to sour on him and push back from the closeness he craves - this is truly exhausting.

you must feel it too, offering to pick up dinner on your way home in lieu of cooking. he waves away apologies, reaches past you to hand the cashier at taco bell his card when you try to pay. the food is gone by the time you pull your car into the parking lot.

both of you have the same idea. you're just as worn out as he is (makes him wonder if you're doing the same thing, all anxious energy, making sure to put your best foot forward, always stumbling and falling into a better impression than the one you set out to make) and bed comes naturally to mind. he slips into the side closest to the door and you stop him immediately, voice teasing.

"uh, that's my side." you poke at his ribs. the awkwardness had melted over the course of the day together. you were playful, eyes bright and laugh loud. touch came easy between you now, both playful and lingering. the comfort that had been stirred up and tossed into disarray by physical proximity had settled back in.

leon's eyes flit to the door over your shoulder. it's not a big deal, he tells himself. the odds of something happening were astronomically low.

but he knows his luck with astronomically low odds. one in a million is too risky. he's got to be closer to the door, won't be able to sleep if he's not. his hands wrap around your waist, urging you on top of him. he doesn't miss the way you stiffen, the momentary hitch of your breath, but you let yourself get swept along all the same, drape yourself over him as he guides you to.

"just sleep like this." leon shifts lower to make more space for you. he presses a kiss to your head.

it takes longer than he expected for you to relax. slowly, when his hands still at your back and his breathing evens out, your limbs loosen. your weight thickens atop him, pressing him further into the mattress. it's all he can do to remind himself that he's tired, that starting something now would lead nowhere fast.

leon stays awake until he's certain you're out cold. the door remains unbreached, your home still safe. he can't bring himself to regret his caution.

when he's finally able to sleep, he sleeps hard. he wakes to your fingers carding through his hair, his cheek cushioned against your chest, completely flipped around during the night. it's the best night he's had in years.

on day three, leon wonders if he should be more obvious.

he's been putting out all the signs, carefully curated his touch to be lingering, to make you burn for more, but each time you settle against him and offer up a contented "this is nice."

does there need to be a neon sign draped around his neck that says "take me for a spin", arrow blinking down toward his crotch? you'd let him press against your back during an afternoon nap, knee wedged between your legs, arm curled around your stomach to keep you next to him. he woke from dreams where he was bolder, where he wasn't afraid of losing you with that lingering confidence, pressed kisses to the back of your neck until that gauzy empowerment lifted.

hell, he'd woken up that morning laying half on top of you, his head nestled in the valley of your chest. you'd pet his hair til he woke from nuzzling your tits in his sleep.

he abandons subtlety during the credit crawl of eight-legged freaks, a 'classic' you had insisted on making him watch. (you'd laughed when he had commented he could keep you safe in the event of giant spiders. he hadn't been joking, but he still hasn't grown tired of hearing you laugh.)

"hey," he asks, hand curling around your thigh. his thumb smooths an arc across your skin, traces the path again and again. "do you wanna..?"

smooth, kennedy.

you look over at him with that same puppy-dog confusion that he's growing familiar with. instead of moving his hand, you draw your legs up and lay them over his lap. how the fuck is he supposed to interpret that?

"do i wanna..?" you parrot back, drawing the words out into the form of a question.

leon hates himself. he wishes he could back out of this. he clears his throat. how the hell do people broach this topic smoothly? he searches for the words, the silence stretching a little too long for comfort. finally, he says the first thing he can.

"like, sex."

real mature, kennedy, he thinks. he wishes he could backpedal, take it all back. he's certain your face warms. before he can issue a take down for his words, (maybe cut out his stupid goddamn vocal cords, if he has the time) you fumble out, "oh. like- right now? uh, i mean, do you want to?"

continuing with the maturity, he turns it back on you.

"i asked you first."

"i don't not want to."

leon shakes his head. his hand cups your ankle. "i really only take 'yeah' or 'hell yeah'."

"i just didn't think giant spiders got you in the mood."

"hey, the more legs the better."

leon knows deflection when he hears it. he's the reigning champ, after all, could play this game with you all day. but he has mercy; he chuckles, lets you get away with it and grabs the remote, declaring it's his turn to pick another movie since your choice was a mood killer.

later that night, curled up in bed with a video playing mindlessly from your tablet, you turn around to face him. he widens his arms to accommodate the movement, circles them tighter once you settle in.

"you're not mad?" you ask, pressing your face into his chest, already hiding from the answer.

"about what?"

"y'know."

"spell it out for me, sweetheart."

he can feel your breath puff against his chest, an exasperated huff. people have done this same thing to him time and time again. he always hated it, being forced to be forthcoming and earnest. (vulnerable, some people call it, but that always made him feel like a wounded bird.) now that he's on the other side, he sort of sees the appeal.

"'cause i don't wanna have sex yet."

there's a 'yet'. that's promising. he saves that little victory for later. his hand rubs slowly, reverently across the planes of your back.

he knows what he's got to say. he knows that he means it. putting the words to it is different. he needs you to understand, has to do this right.

"i didn't come all this way just to hook up."

you hum. "but you still want to."

christ, he's got to man up and say it.

"of course i do." you burrow closer to him, hands fisting against his side. he taps your back firmly. "hey. i'm not finished. i'm attracted to you, okay? like, really attracted to you. it's not- it's not just physical. i want to see if we can make this work. if what we had on the phone was real."

"is it?"

"yeah. i think so."

"sex isn't important to you?"

"it is. it's just not more important to me than you."

you pull your face from his chest, look up at him with big wet eyes. he brushes the backs of his fingers against your cheek tenderly, afraid you'll splinter and those tears will cascade down if he's anything but gentle.

"i think so, too."

you curl back into him, your touch melting from desperate to serene. leon can't help but feel accomplished - as though he's threaded the needle perfectly, cut the right wire just before the clock hit zero. gradually, his breathing falls into step with yours.

"besides," he murmurs, half-asleep. he drops a kiss against the top of your head. "your walls are thin. i don't want you catching a noise complaint."

day four is a glimpse of the life he could have, but it makes him realize what he needs to do to obtain it. the sickly feeling pools in his stomach, leaves him picking at the dinner you made. it's good, he swears. then the lie - just all the travel catching up to him.

he knows by day five that he's got to tell you everything. it's no longer a want - he needs you in his life. he's resolved to come clean.

he nearly does it over breakfast. you set his coffee in front of him, muss his hair before you take your own seat, and it almost comes spilling out onto the table.

i work in national security. i'm a federal agent. there's so much i can't tell you, but it's dangerous. god, it's dangerous. there's so much blood on my hands. it doesn't scrub off but i'm worried it will stain your skin. i think i could love you, if you'll let me. please don't say it back.

"plans today?" he says instead, sipping his coffee.

maybe tomorrow.

day six leaves him melancholy.

you'd insisted that today was for him. whatever he wanted, you would accommodate.

leon worries that his answer is boring. he wants a day in with you. an imitation of what it could be like to come home to this. the idle sounds of you milling about the house could lull him to sleep if it weren't for the words lodged in his throat.

you were doing the laundry. not yours, not his, but the, the definite article that's never felt intimate until that very moment. it silenced him to hear you refer to it that way. he's so tired of reading into every word you say, clinging onto every nuance. he'd forgotten how exhausting this stage of a relationship is. you couldn't send him home with dirty clothes, you explained, and he had no argument against that. his eyes traced after you as you puttered around, busying yourself with tidying. you're so at home. of course you are. it's your apartment. but he wants that. he wants to lift you from this place and into his own home, to watch you make yourself at home and busy yourself with the mundane.

he's got to tell you today. he can't do it over text. it's wrong.

when you finally settle down next to him on the couch, drawing a blanket into your lap, you breach the topic gently, give him a chance to do it himself. leon doesn't realize how obvious he is when he gets that look on his face, all forlorn as if he'd collapsed onto a fainting couch, hand over the back of his forehead. drama queen.

"what's up?" you ask, sitting close - but infuriatingly distant, not quite touching him yet.

"nothing. just looking at you."

bless you for trying to make it easy on him. it's always been like pulling teeth to get him to talk. he's trained to resist torture and coercion, should know better than to melt under a gentle hand or the way your body fits against his side.

you hum softly, disbelieving. so that's it, then. the silence, the 'i'm respecting your distance until you break' tactics. damn, you're good. leon takes a deep breath, chest aching with the weight of what he has to say. now or never.

"look- i'm not who you think i am."

you don't miss a beat. "in what way?"

he has to force the words out. he's acutely aware that this could ruin everything. you could kick him out. block his number, never speak to him again. good. it was safer that way. you deserved a normal life.

"i lied to you. about my work."

"yeah, i know."

"i work in security. national security."

"leon. i know."

his brain reels back a few steps, trying to process your words.

"you know?" he repeats, almost offended. how could you know? was this a set up?

you pull your phone from your pocket, tapping a quick query in. you turn the phone to him. article after article, a few interviews pinned to the top. every link is purple, clicked on and read through. the one that draws his eye is tucked at the bottom of the screen, makes his skin crawl to remember.

KENNEDY, HARPER CLEARED OF CHARGES

"i googled you." you set your phone down on the coffee table.

"and you still let me into your house?" he was serious, but you laugh. leon's brow pinches. "how long?"

you shrug, as if this conversation is about the laundry. "a couple months. ever since you told me your last name."

"months? why didn't you say anything?"

"i was hoping you'd tell me yourself. and you did, sort of."

his mind is still reeling. the drama of it all had his wound up tight. where does he put that energy?

he must look as thrown-off as he feels, because you chuckle, sweep the hair from his eyes and press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"i get why you don't tell people upfront. just don't hide stuff like that from me again, okay? seriously. i'll be mad."

it's more grace than he deserves. your acceptance churns his stomach. is there another meaning behind your words, a resentment coiling in the pit of your stomach?

you crack open your book and lean against his side. he settles his arm around you, moving slow, scared to frighten you away. only one chapter in, you pass him your phone, a take-out app order, asking what he wants. if you're mad, you hide it well.

day seven is a funerary procession. you help him scour your apartment for things he may have left behind, packing them neatly in his suitcase-shaped coffin. it's amazing how his things had flooded into your apartment during the short course of his visit. he had spread out, made himself comfortable. part of it had been testing how his belongings felt next to yours, how it all fit - the final test he had constructed in his mind. you'd passed that with flying colors, clearly. he's lost track of a shirt somewhere along the way, but he isn't concerned about it. he'll be back. he can look for it another time.

both of you linger at your front door. excuses are myriad, flowing from both sides. reasons to double back, reasons to keep his hand on your waist, your fingers in his hair, your lips on his.

but eventually the time becomes too urgent, the threat of missing his flight too real. he'd joked in the car that if he didn't turn up for work they might just send a helicopter to pick him up instead, expecting a laugh. you only smile, a wry twist of your lips that fades too quickly. you reach for your sunglasses and shove them on. the air is tense by the time you pull into the parking garage, cherry scented car freshener cloying.

“you gonna cry?” he teases.

you sniffle.

“oh my god.” he is such a jackass. “don't cry. i'm sorry, sweetheart. it's okay. jesus.”

“i just don't want you to go,” you squeak. your hands fist the steering wheel tight, knuckles turning white.

leon leans over the center console, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. he shrugs you closer to him, hushing you gently.

"let's plan another trip, okay?" he murmurs against your head, placing apologetic kisses there over and over. "c'mon. it's not forever. it's okay. i'm gonna call you when i land. we'll text, like we always do. it's my turn to pick the movie, so-"

fuck. his voice cracks. he clears his throat, blinks quickly to keep his composure.

"so, i'll pick a good one. wednesday night, okay? you, me, and a really good movie."

steadily, his promises slow your tears. the pressure of time detaches you from his hold. you're with him as far as you can go, waving him off to his gate. his heart sinks like a stone. he hates flights, never gets comfortable on them, but the way home feels longer than usual.

made it home he texts the second he's through the door. you're probably asleep. he hopes you are, at least. it's late for you, and--

yay

before he can bother telling you to go to bed, another message pushes through. his house felt empty before, but your message only deepens the feeling, hollows out the hallways and leaves his bed feeling too big, too cold.

i miss you already. call me tomorrow if you can.

leon squints at the screen.

"is that my shirt?"

you stop mid-sentence. caught red-handed - or, rather, grey-shirted.

it's your movie night since he made it back home. you're curled up in bed, your popcorn off to the side. he can fill in the gaps of your room now, knows what extends beyond the screen - and he knows that shirt. an old work tee of his that had mysteriously gone missing after you did the laundry. well-worn and soft. his name stamped on the back in big, block letters. possessive pride stirs in his chest to imagine you wearing his name.

sheepish, you promise, "i'll bring it back to you. how about next month?"

leon shakes his head. he pulls open his calendar, skimming through the busy weeks to clear the time for you.

"keep it. wear it to the airport for me so i know who to look for."

"you're not gonna make me a sign?"

"the shirt is the sign, sweetheart."

"are you gonna wear a matching one with my name on it?"

"i might." he opens another tab, googling how to make custom t-shirts. "you'll have to get here and find out."

connection restored -`♡´-

dividers from @/adornedwithlight

[heartnearu]

hopelessly devoted | y.jw

yang jungwon x reader

synopsis: soulmates come in many forms, whether it would be romantically or platonically. but why is it that you can't seem to find either? why does it feel like everyone has found someone, while you're still searching?

"you fulfill a part of me that i didn't even know i was missing."

…

"you show me what it means to feel whole."

genre: slow burn / angst / romance

tropes: soulmates / strangers to lovers

DISCLAIMER!! i am not a professional. my writing may be terrible... but i'm only here for fun. i'm just a insomniac with an idea, technology at my disposal, and a dream lol. keep in mind that this is FICTION!!

NOTE: [taekwondo]coach!/trainer! jungwon x baker! reader | this is the second time i am posting this because my account was tweaking out

⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰

CH. O — PROLOGUE

foolish is the word that you believe described you.

for years, you witness others find their other half and love each other unconditionally. you could only watch in adoration and wish that one day you could experience it for yourself. but as you grew older, you began to let go of that hope. you'd catch yourself watching others with a twinge of longing and quiet jealousy—when was it going to be your turn?

it wasn't like you didn't know the hardships that could come with a relationship—you just believed that when the right person came, you both would be so in love and content with each other that no matter how difficult the situation was, you'd both work it out together.

but even with those beliefs, there's still certain thoughts that haunt the back of your mind.

how will you know when their heart beats in time with yours, even in silence? what if you give them your all and that's not enough for them? what if you thought you found the love of your life, only to find out that your supposed partner found someone else who fulfills them in ways you can't? what if you never find someone to share your life with?

no matter how many thoughts race through your mind, they always circle back to the same question that clings to you like a shadow you can't outrun... are you even worthy of being loved unconditionally? how could anyone embrace every part of you when you're still struggling to accept yourself?

of course, these nagging insecurities didn't come out of nowhere. they were born from years of giving your all to people, only to find that your love was never quite enough for them.

you'd never been lucky with romance, so you learned to seek connection in other ways—gravitating toward deep, platonic bonds that could make you feel seen. but even then, you struggled. you were never the first choice. there was always someone else, someone closer. someone they reached for before you.

there wasn't much you could do. you long to give your love freely—to devote yourself to someone and cherish them as they are. but the truth is, you have no one to give it to. every time you believe there's a possibility, a chance that you found someone who sees you—the realization that you're just a passing thought to someone who meant everything to you lands like a final blow you knew was coming, but still wasn't ready for. the fact that they never held you with the same tenderness you gave so freely is just another harsh reminder that you always care more.

how could you be so foolish to believe that anyone would want anything to do with someone like you?

maybe you ask for too much. you've never been mad or bitter—you're genuinely glad they found someone who makes their world feel lighter. but there's still a sadness that moves through you like fog, soft but suffocating. you smile for them, while something inside you quietly wilts, wishing it could have been you.

as of now, you conclude that maybe—just maybe you were made to love not to be loved.

and at some point, you might have to accept it, even if it hurts to.

⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ MIV— i hope this was somewhat enjoyable. it's only the start of what is to come.. i am still getting used to how tumblr works as a writer or someone who actually posts since i have only ever been a reader so i apologize for that. see you soon!

please DO NOT steal, plagiarize, copy, repost, alter, or translate ANY of my works in any way.

[stackslip]

I wanna ask what’s going on with arcane but I feel like I’m opening pandora’s box 😅

the thing about arcane s1's writing, is that every plot beat flowed naturally from characters' choices, and every one of the characters' choices made sense in the context of who that character was, where they came from and what information they are working with at the time they make that decision. it felt like a tightly written tragedy where on a rewatch, it all feels completely inevitable that things would end this way because it made sense to who we learned these characters were. and said characters were layered, much time was devoted to giving them a certain degree of depth and believability (bar cait). you can criticize other aspects of s1's writing such as liberal wishwashiness but s1 of arcane was a *good* tragedy with a genuinely compelling cast! the final scene of the show is a confrontation between three major players who were all working with different information and whose motivations are completely at odds but who have a deeply personal tie, it's about jinx as the end result of the zaun-piltover conflict, it's about vi and silco being two deeply broken people who see her in an idealized version they deeply love and want her to remain this static thing they can be comfortable with until it turns out she can't be and she shatters and at the same time irreversably destroys her relationship to both, leading her in her despair to set off the ticking time bomb that is piltover and zaun's inevitable conflict!

so like, s1 has its flaws but its finale imo was perfect and made the whole thing self contained. i was ok with s2 happening. the only thing i wanted was more the dynamic character writing. i expected wishy washy politcs. and act 1 of s2 already struggled with character, but at least the plot beats were interesting and while not earned, made sense according to the characters we'd left in s1.

s2 act 2 is an absolute catastrophe, even compared to the previous act, nevermind compared to s1. it's not just that the plot beats don't feel earned, it's not just that it's missing connective tissue between them--it's that all the most interesting conflicts and dynamics just cease to exist. they don't get "resolved", they either are completely forgotten or are just waved away magically to pave the way for an utterly stupid, shlocky, wannabe shock value emotional final ten minutes of episode 6 that is honestly infuriating in how it's trying to push you to have feelings about it. i don't have any feelings besides revulsion and bafflement frankly. even before these final ten minutes of ep 6, the sheer lack of buildup or of character moments, the way characters are basically willed by the plot to be there at specific points for plot to happen to them instead of them arriving at it naturally--the way it reframes interesting aspects of s1 and s2 act 1 into shlocky, tropey bullshit--it's honestly near mesmerizing? it's like they brought in whole different new writers specifically for this who decided to back down on ANYTHING the show did that was interesting to try to instead push to the league's status quo instead, no matter how little sense it makes. i'm almost in awe. how do you mess up so badly.

this isn't just like, the plot is rushed and we need to get there as fast as possible--none of these resolutions make SENSE. jinx and vi's relationship was the core of season one, and suddenly magically jinx shows up at vi's door and vi bitches a little and then they go hunt vander down together and then they all hug because he was their father too <333 isha. i'm supposed to have emotions about isha? she sacrifices herself for.... forwhat? what? why? it's like they knew they had to kill her off to give jinx feelings and do so in the most stupid and absurd way possible, i was laughing hysterically when the music came in. it was so blatantly manipulative and uncalled for. ok i guess! sevika helps jinx and then once she's served her plot purpose she just vanishes! doesn't she wanna meet vander??? ekko's disappearance doesn't both people much i guess even his own firelights. ambessa says a single line about mel disappearing, and can i say i'm kinda infuriated that two out of three of the main black characters are just locked away from the plot and main cast for a large period of time. jayce--i guess they'll give us an explanation as to why but here it's like he just...... shows up angry and "ruins" things and that's it. whatever there was to ruin lmfao sky and viktor's heterosexuality mind palace leading to him being cyborg satan or some shit? cait finally FINALLY gets some personality, something interesting to her, she is openly a reactionary fascist who gassed half the undercity to sniff out jinx, and then she meets vi and within a solid minute is now back to being Nice and helping out jinx. i guess. silco and vander's backstory kind of completely destroys a lot of the stuff that made vander and silco's relationship to vi and jinx interesting and goes for a Family Is 5ever approach i guess.

just. i don't think there's a single thing there that's redeemable or interesting. it's comically bad. vi has no personality or motivation. she just does things. she got an emo trauma amv so that we get that she's sad but it might as well not have happened bc she barely is a character. jinx is a sad manic pixie dream girl. her psychosis is gone or barely there now apparently. sevika is plot and then vanishes when her part is done. ambessa is not a mastermind as act 1 hinted at but the most stupid comical villain alive. mel is--is she just going to come back to do a big plot thing in act 3 and then that's it? ekko the same? we have no idea what jayce is even doing or what or why. piltover and zaun are gonna ally now i guess lol. ok sure why not. why anything. why do anything at all! what's the point!

it's funny bc i was willing to give this season a chance despite act 1 being so rushed bc again, the plot points were interesting and while the characters needed more time fleshed out for their decisions to make sense i COULD see the characters making these choices and it was just a question of missing buildup. here it's like everyone is a zombie of their actual self. there's no point to anything. it's so stupid. it tries hard to play the emotion part but why should i feel any emotion except befuddlement? why are caitvi shippers happy? i'd be insulted. i feel insulted. i heard via a friend that riot had intervened in the writing more and so far i hadn't felt it but now i'm wondering if that's not exactly what happened bc it genuinely feels like the writers were fired right after act 1. what the fuck lol. i don't think i even wanna watch act 3 after this, i feel genuinely insulted that i should be expected to think this is the same show as s1 or that i should feel any kind of positive feelings about it. fuck this show so bad lmfao i'm sticking to s1 and pretending nothing happened after it. maybe grabbing some act 1 plot points for fun and that's it. it's so bad

[hellspawnmotel]

Same guy that asked about Susie: well, do you like her, find her interesting, have thoughts about her characterisation, relationship with other characters and her future development?

read this and said out loud "OF COURSE I LIKE HER!!" lol. what kind of idiot doesn't like susie. which, as I've mentioned, is a really interesting part of her character actually. she's just magnetic for some reason, but in a way that makes other people project their desires onto her. I want to see that crumble at some point, as done either by the narrative or susie herself.

speaking of expectations crumbling, I'm curious to see how susie's ability to defy the "rules" of the narrative will play out in the future. she doesn't seem to have any inherent connection to whatever outside layer gaster, the vessel, and the soul reside in, like kris noelle and ralsei do, but maybe because of that she's the main character with the most freedom to actually live by her own whims.

one aspect of that I hope to see more focus on is her friendship with lancer. as a card kingdom NPC, lancer is supposed to be "lesser" than any of the main cast. he's a darkner, but unlike ralsei he can't even travel between worlds without turning to stone. he's not supposed to have main character status. he's supposed to stay at home in castle town and be a cute comedy side character for us to check in on every now and then. but susie has formed a genuine connection with lancer- she loves him and sees him as just as much of a person as anybody else. he was her first real friend. if the narrative keeps insisting that lancer's role in it is effectively over, I don't think susie will be very happy about that.

I think susie is very much being set up as the hero of the narrative outside the narrative- toby's story, not gaster's and not the prophecy's. she's going to be critical to the core themes of the game about growing outside of whatever roles you've been shoved into and it might become all up to her to help the other characters find that ability in themselves as well.

but then I have to wonder, is it really okay for us to expect so much of susie? is it fair to ask just one kid to defy fate and save everyone else?

[toast-on-dandelioms]

Hello, I really a fans of your work and always waiting for the updates. I have a question, what happen if Y/n just ignore the batfam as Y/n also turn to superfam becoming their family. It also assuming Alfred A-Okay with it. Oh, also Y/n might be have relationship with one of the superboys and she love to cuddle with the lover. Well, that's just my wild imagination thinking about.

Oh well, I hope you have great days.❤️😘

Thank you for liking my work! If you're asking for part 4, it will come out soon and probably by the end of next week!

Well, I don't think Alfred would be totally a-okay with this and after a bit he would act to 'fix' the situation.

He wants you to stay at the Manor and be appreciated too by the Batfam even though they don't even know you exist.

He has tried before, talking about you to Bruce and the others but they always dismissed him with the excuse of being busy or forgetting about you the next day.

And seeing you giving up on being with your real family and finding love in another family that actually accepts you and he can't accept that.

You're supposed to be with him as the rest of the Waynes not with some alien family.

He would act like he supports you whenever you come to visit him since you mostly live with the Kents nowadays and come to the Manor to grab the things you needed since you were moving your stuff from the Manor to the Kents house.

After a while you start to come home, to come back to him even less before you just visit him maybe once a month before it turns into no more visiting him since you're busy with school, dance classes and the vigilante role you still have.

And Alfred hates it so he decides that he can't stand to watch his boys obsess over your vigilante persona when they can't even bother to notice you weren't living in the Manor anymore.

So he decides to call a family meeting without your knowledge and explains everything, who you were behind the mask and how dissapointed and ashamed that the people he raised didn't even acknowledge that you existed.

Their reaction, which were mostly of confusion before realisation bothered him but he stayed silent and used their reaction to manipulate them, make them think you weren't in the right place with the Kent family.

And after a week from that meeting, you started to receive texts from all the batfam and also kept seeing them everywhere, with Bruce at school or when you were patrolling the city.

He would always try to talk to you, which you ignored or gave him the finger while swinging away, preferring to not engage in his tries to connect with you.

Plus he would show up at your dance recitals when you never said anything to Alfred about them and he would always be right in first row with a smug smile since he knew you couldn't do anything.

Plus you already knew they knew who you were behind the mask, they said your name when you had your mask on so many times you wanted to punch their faces.

You had to skip a few days of school because Tim and Damian started to show up at your same highschool and sitting next to you in class, to which no one would say anything and it frustrated you since highschool was one of your safe places but not anymore.

You tried to ignore Dick and Jason's attempts at stalking you, not because it was noticeable since you never saw them but the spider sense made you aware you were being watched and after a bit you were able to notice them following you.

Yes you did feel proud since you didn't have any detective training like the others but still knew who was following just by using the things around you.

You vented your frustrations with Clark and Conner and they did help by letting you skip school and everything but you had to go back to school or it would affect your attendance and damage your reputation and curriculum for future colleges applications.

But one fateful day, you went to a mission with Conner and Clark since they needed a third person but couldn't bring Jon since he was busy with school, so you went in his place.

During the mission you got ambushed, Conner and Clark were at disadvantage since the attackers (not sure on the term, the people that attacks) somehow had kryptonite weapons.

Plus you were also fighting, using the tasers and also the objects around you like rocks or trees.

Yes, you did throw a tree at a group of them and you also got Clark telling you not to do it again. Did you listen though? No.

As you were fighting you suddenly got stung by something in the leg, and when you touched the spot where it hurt you saw a small dart there.

You opened your mouth to call for Clark or Conner but someone covered your mouth and held you as you fainted while Clark and Conner had to flee since the attackers were too strong with the kryptonite.

The last thing you saw was the smiling face of Dick before completely giving in the drug you got injected in your body, not hearing them fight about who was gonna carry you in the batmobile.

[fatliberation]

Sorry for leaving this in your inbox, but I need to vent and ask for advice in a place where people won't mock me. What do you do when sex is super difficult because of your fat? I've recently gotten into my first relationship and. I thought I had a handle on my internalized fatphobia and self hate but this has made it worse than ever. We can't have satisfying penetrative sex (we've tried all the tips and workarounds. Nothing works. I'm larger than most of the FA community.), and recieving oral sex is also difficult for me. I also get tired and sweaty extremely quickly if I have to like hold up myself on mostly my arms or something, so he has to do most of the work. So sex is just. Mostly the one that works on repeat, and we don't have it very often because it isn't that fun for either of us, and it also makes me cry afterwards sometimes because of how disappointing it is & me beating myself up over it.

I'm genuinely worried my boyfriend is going to leave me for this. He's clearly very frustrated with the situation, even though he tries to be nice about it most of the time. Earlier today I tried to like be flirty and hint at stuff and he just. got a bit sad. and then said that clearly neither of us enjoy the sex we're having and that he has a lot of trouble staying hard.and that he doesn't see the point when we're both forcing it for no reason. I think he's going to break up with me soon. His ex is way lighter than me, so he's probably comparing the normal sex he had with her with whatever the fuck this abnormal shitshow is :/

All the work I've done on myself to be happy with being fat (including working up the courage to date, what a mistake that was lmao) is all gone. This has ruined my self-esteem so much. I feel like one of those fatphobic jokes but a person.

first and foremost, please try your best to remember this: your body is not the problem. one more time. your body is not the problem. I'm so very sorry you're concerned that your boyfriend would leave you over this. it sounds like he has a lot of preconceived ideas about how sex is supposed to go. I promise you that it doesn't have to be this way. if this is something that could really end the relationship, know that this person is not compatible or open to exploring your needs, rather than your needs being "too difficult." I promise it's him, not you. I know folks who are 600+ pounds who have excellent sex lives and partners who satisfy them and enjoy satisfying them. when someone starts treating your pleasure like a chore, that's just shitty. I know how much it hurts. it also does damage to your own openness to pleasure. when you're caught up in feeling like sex/your body is something that needs to be "fixed," nothing is going to feel sexy, because all that pressure puts stress on and takes you out of the mental state where you're able to experience pleasure. does that make sense? so many couples get stuck in this cycle.

there are so many ways to engage in pleasure without penetration or orgasm. there's a lot that goes into foreplay, setting a mood, making your partner feel appreciated and attractive. words and touch play a huge part in this. something as simple as exploring each other's bodies, not with the intention of reaching climax, but simply to be vulnerable and engage each others' senses. have your partner give you a massage. play with your hair. tickle your back with a feather. shower together. kiss you. compliment you. if either of you are into any kinks or dirty talk, that could be a great way to engage each other sexually without the pressure of "achieving" a goal. the goal here is just to feel good, close, and connected. societal messaging about sex has placed so much importance on orgasm instead of pleasure - when taking the time and space to relax and receive attention, is key.

feel free to check out my other posts on fat sex ed, there's lots of assistive toys that can make pleasure more accessible, but I think that should be a tool for later, since the biggest issue here is the pressure to perform. know that pleasurable sex can exist for you! but for now, I would recommend taking a break from sex altogether since it is not pleasurable for you right now. because pleasure is the whole point. forcing it is only going to feel worse. you do not owe it to your boyfriend, especially if it doesn't feel good and is taking an emotional toll. I hope you both are able to take a step back, reassess and communicate, and are able to reconnect and create a safe space to explore.

I understand why you're beating yourself up over this, I've been there too. but also know that it's just another societal standard that's been internalized (and it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is helping). like you said, you've done a lot to unlearn fatphobia. there's a lot of internalized beliefs we absorb from society surrounding sex, just like body image. I promise that there is nothing wrong with you. If your boyfriend takes his frustration out on you instead of making you feel safe to express your needs, then he's not a supportive partner. you deserve someone who takes delight in your pleasure and your body. believe me, we're out there.

[loveemagicpeace]

🦋Things about planets / signs🦋

🩷Saturn in Aries - aries should fall in this position and this position is also treated as bad, not so effective. But saturn is the planet (of order, responsibility, authority, discipline, finishing things you do, career and reputation, time...) Aries is energetic, combative, brave, persistent and driven, when you decide to do something, do it. Saturn and Aries both represent independence, doing things on your own or getting things done on your own. Aries is a competitive sign and will not give up until he has done what he set out to do - Saturn is the planet that pushes you to achieve your desired goal. I personally think that this position brings more benefits than disadvantages and that you can get a lot out of this placement. The only bad thing here is that things can go to extremes.

🛍️Sun in Libra-the sun is supposed to fall in the sign of technicality. The sun represents (light, inspiration, playfulness, identity, strength, glory, visibility). Technique represents (beauty, connections, sociality, comprehensibility, harmony). The sun represents male energy and technology should also represent male energy. Together, they both love attention and socializing. The only difference is that the sun represents ego and sometimes selfishness, while the technique represents a more gentle and compassionate energy. Techies in the sun love to be seen and love to show off their style, dress up and do things for themselves and their fun. The only thing that can be challenged here is to focus more on your own needs and not so much on the needs of others. You can't please everyone right away.

🌱Tauruses can sometimes be much more picky and strict about what they want than Virgos. As far as the natural look is concerned, Taurus are more prone to like a natural look on their partner and sometimes stick to certain things they like on others. While Virgos know how to adapt and many times you can be surprised by what Virgos really like in a certain person.

🌌This may sound contradictory, but I think capicorn rising people invest much more in a relationship than libra rising people. These people invest a lot and work on relationships, things and want the best. Many times they make sacrifices for people, they are very responsible and stable. Libra rising can sometimes invest more in themselves than in others. Many times it happens that they quickly give up and can be quite a flirtatious sign.

🥑Capricorns and Aquarius placements can sometimes be prone to loneliness. Both signs are independent and do not like the freedom to help other people. Many times they want to do everything themselves. They feel best when they have their peace and their work.

Capricorn rising/ Saturn in 1st house people can have body dysmorphia a lot times. Sometimes it's hard for them to accept their body. They can be very critical to themselves, especially because capricorn it's in the first house & 1st house represents your appearance, your body ,how you look at yourself. They have MC in Scorpio so therefore many times they can attract people who sexualize them. They can also attract older people.

🫧Taurus degree/ placements you are very attached to certain things that are yours (Taurus represents owning things - more or less material) so it is very difficult for you to let go of something or give it to someone even if it is just chocolate because you feel that things that belong to you should be with you and be only yours. They like to give to others, but only when they decide that they want to give something, when something is taken from them without their consent, they will always consider it as having been taken from them.

❄️The difference between Taurus and Scorpio is that Taurus wants control over material things, money, things they enjoy. They find a sense of stability in this. Scorpios want to have control over people (they like to possess someone) and they want the person to be theirs only.

🦋Venus in 11th house-you like unique and special things. Which means that the style you have can be completely different from what other people wear around you. Many times you can wear something that others would never wear but it looks very good on you. Your outfit can have several different clothes, which are thus selected from several different stores or styles that you have noticed. For example: elegant, sporty, vintage and then you make one outfit out of it. They will never follow trends because they don't like it. And one thing that people don't understand is that they don't do it because they want to appear different, but because they value something special, unique, because they want to have something that is only theirs and represents them.

🛼Two signs that they actually love something that is old school vibe; old movies, old cartoons, especially cartoons. Are Taurus & Leo-both of them appreciate things that are valuable and have a special meaning and are of good quality. Leos appreciate everything related to childhood, they like to return to nostalgic memories. Taurus appreciate old things that have a deeper meaning.

💫Venuses who know how to enjoy and will always put enjoyment before other things are: venus in sagittarius, pisces, taurus & leo.

🥊Mars signs: Sagittarius mars is living in the moment vibes. They love being here & now. Doing nothing. Just observing environment.

Leo mars are the definition of how to choose a hobby, a joy without looking at others.

Aries mars are the definition of how to be independet and fearless.

Taurus mars are the definition of how to be calm.

Virgo mars are the definition of how to take care of your body and do the best for others - these people know how to take care of others. They are the best caregivers.

Capricorn mars will drop everything just to be with you.

Scorpio mars are the definition of how deeply committed they are to one person.

Pisces mars are the definition of how they sacrifice for others and how they put their needs before others.

Cancer mars are the definition of how they can make the space like a home.

Gemini mars are the definition of how they can switch from one thing to another. And how many things they can do at once.

Aquarius mars are the definition of how to do things completely differently than others do.

Libra mars are the definition of how to flirt with your beauty.

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

-Rebekah🫧💍🌊

[greeniegirl23]

Random Alastor Blurb Because I Love This Weird Radio Man PT#3! (NSFW)

(Welcome to part three of my silly lil blurbs! These will be random rant posts I make about Alastor whenever the ideas come to me. Love him and there are things, thoughts, and ideas I have about him that I would love to share!)

-------------------------------------------------------------

• Okay, when I think Alastor and a NSFW individual, I'd like to think that he wouldn't mind after you two have been together for a very, very long time

• I'm talking years of being with each other, comfortable and able to be the rawest version of yourselves without the other judging, but accepting and being supportive. Good and bad, thick and thin, y'all may as well be married before he even plays around the notion of having sex

• You being a supportive and loving girlfriend, never pushed him into anything he'd be uncomfortable with. So you found your fix in other ways, overtime and unbeknownst to you, Alastor kinda found an issue with that. Slightly insecure with being able to fulfill your relationship in every way except that one.

• It's not that he doesn't care, it's just that he knows he can't supply that emotional connection most people seek when indulging in to sins of the flesh and he'd rather not do it at all than to try and make a fool out of himself.

• With the two of you being as close as you are, it wouldn't take long before you catch this and talk with him about it. At first he avoided you like the plague, until you literally pinned him against the wall and made him confess, is when he finally told you how he felt about it. Of course you reassured him that it wasn't that big of an issue for you and that you'd only allow it if it was something he really wanted.

--------------------

"You've got nothing to prove Alastor, to me or to anyone. I don't care that we don't have sex, that's not why I'm with you and I know how you feel about being touched. I want you to be comfortable and happy with me and of sex is out of the question? So be it."

You watched him closely as he seemed to fidget under your gaze. This wasn't the first time you've seen him nervous, dare I say bashful, but it didn't make the sight all the less rare.

"I suppose if that's how you feel about it, then I won't allow it to bother me any longer. If you are truly satisfied with me, then I can accept being worried about nothing."

------------------------

• And for a while, he did. Everything went back to normal....

• Until one morning, while he was getting dressed for the day and you were showering, he could hear you making sounds of pleasure from the bathroom. It was ever so faint, yet he couldn't stop the flicking of his ear as he heard the gentle whisper of his name from your lips...

• Immediately he left the room, feeling bad again and remembering your words. Alastor wasn't a stranger to the warmth building in her abdomen and heading straight down south, but he was strong enough to ignore it for now, wondering if there was something, anything, he could do to hear you make those noises again, without having to bump uglies with you directly.

• After about a week of being somewhat awkward, telling bad lies, and hoping that he wouldn't regret this. He realized he needed help and decided to go to the one person he knew that was close enough and easily threatened enough, to lend him aid in this rather precarious predicament...

• It's safe to say Angel Dust almost woke up the entirety of the Hotel when he entered his room after a long day of work, only to find Alastor sitting in a recliner, trying to convince Fat Nuggets to 'plumpen up', and screamed loud enough the five circles below the Pride Ring could hear him.

• With the snap of his fingers, Alastor silenced his target, closing the door before anyone could come by and sat Angel down on his bed before speaking in a very dark, very serious tone.

-------------------------

"You," Alastor said, pointing towards the pornstar. "Are going to help me with a rather serious problem. A problem that only someone with your choice of careers could help me with, this discussion and all future discussions will stay between you and I. If I find out otherwise, I can assure you, you and your pet swine will suffer a date worse than death. Am I clear?"

Angel Dust fercily nodded. With a flick of Alastor's wrist, regained the ability to speak once more. "..What the hell do you want from me?"

"I request you assistance with.." Alastor cleared his throat. "Pleasing the opposite gender... Carnally, of course."

"Ya askin me, to help you have sex with ya girlfriend?" Angel Dust deadpanned. "Ya seriously threaten me and my precious baby over dat?!"

"Yes, I am. If you have a problem with that then that's too bad. We made a deal and you will abide by it, regardless of if you're fond of the idea or not."

"Just take it slow n' stick ya dick in er. It's sex, not rocket science!"

"That's just the issue my effeminate fellow! I'm not too keen on the idea of direct intercourse, so I'd rather find other ways to make my beloved happy. Without the cost of me being uncomfortable and her being deprived of her desire for my affections."

Angel raised an eyebrow. "You mean like eatin her out or sumthin'?"

Alastor's face made a disgusted expression, " Why on earth would I eat her? I want to please her, not have her for breakfast!"

-------------------------

• As one would imagine, Angel Dust had to hold himself back from laughing in Alastor's face as he explained that the term was not literal.

• He then explained to Alastor the many different approaches he could take to satisfy your needs without inserting himself in you. Your partner was surprised to hear about most of these methods, mentally taking notes on this, that, and the third as Angel essentially gave him a crash course for your one way ticket to a interesting shift in your relationship.

• Finally, at 2am, Alastor had enough information (and emotional support from Angle Dust) to put his new knowledge into action. He thanked Angel Dust with a wad of cash, based off the hourly rate the spider usually made and a tip for being cooperative, before leaving the poor man to rest.

• Now that he was armed with the power of knowledge, it was now time to wait.

• Like a predator laying in wait for its prey, Alastor was patient as the days went by. Making sure you didn't suspect a thing during your interactions and doing his best to strike at the perfect moment.

• Then it came, one night while you were in bed reading your favorite novel. You were wearing one of his shirts, no bra, and clad in your favorite underwear while being nestled in a small fort of blankets and pillows.

• He climbed into bed next to you, a bit closer than usual considering the fact that he slept similar to that of a vampire on most nights, and at first you thought nothing of it.

• That was until he began touching you. Slow touches on your wrist and your arm, his claws teasing your skin as he rubbed your thighs beneath the thick duvet.

• He got closer, making sure you could smell his scent. Still caressing your skin, before being bold and sticking his hand up your shirt to gently fiddle with your breasts.

•At first it felt inexperienced, experimental if you will. But little did you know, he was hyper aware of your body's responses. He could smell your pheromones, very fitting of your personality. He could feel your heartbeat pounding against your ribcage, your nipples peeking from the teasing from of the pads of his fingers. The biggest tell was your thighs, rubbing together anxiously as usual when you were aroused.

How cute.

• A part of you wanted to ask what this was all about. If he had forgotten what you had spoken on before, but something was telling you that this was alright. That your lover was fine and actually wanted what was going on right now.

• You could hardly bring yourself to look at him, for as long as you had been together, this was the first time in a while where you were actually embarrassed. The wetness in your underwear, rendered them soaking wet. Anxiety struck your heart for a moment when Alastor used his fingers to ever so gracefully trace his fingers around the shape of your mound.

• You did your best to make your book the most interesting thing going on right now, but Alastor didn't like that. Slowly coaxing the book out of your hands, tossing it somewhere on his side of the bed as he used his powers to cut the lights out in the room.

•It was practically pitch black. Raising the height of your senses as your eyes begin to adjust. You could hear the sound of fabric tearing, a faint gust of cold air brushed your now bare lips.

• Butterflies raved in your stomach and in your core, your breathing becomes slightly heavier. Anxiously, happily, and somewhat desperately, you wait as Alastor's hands palm your heat. Getting a feel for you, the shape of your intimacy, before slowly and very carefully slipping his fingers between your folds.

• The moan that left your sweet lips was one Alastor swore he'd remember for the rest of his afterlife. Adoration swelled in his chest when you gripped his nightshirt, holding on to him for dear life while slowly grinding your hips against his digits.

• It was dirty, lewd, sexy, and all those other words one could use to describe an intimate moment such as this. Of all his years of both being alive and dead, he never thought he'd find himself actually enjoying something like this. But it was because he got to please you, to hear you sing a song for his ears only, to see that look on your face as you fought back being loud, steadily unraveling on his very fingertips.

• You willfully closed your eyes. You were already being forced to listen to your own arousal, clicking softly with Alastor's movements as he began to find a rhythm you were comfortable with. It would be too much for you to bare to watch, even if it was dark.

• His pace quickened as he remembered what the spider stated. Based on that, he was sure that you were getting close. Already your legs had opened wider for him, giving him access to slip the full extent of his fingers into your core. The palm of his hand rubbed perfectly against your puffy bundle of nerves, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body.

• The world seemed to disappear and you were on the edge of crashing like a wave against a rock. However, Alastor wanted to do just one last thing.

• Swiftly, he forced you to lay flat on your back. A shocked look overcame your face as he stared down at you. Close enough for you to feel his breath on your neck, his length straining almost painfully in his pants as it rested against the fat of your thigh, as he continued to slowly, yet forcefully bring you to euphoria.

• Finally the knot in your stomach snapped and you gasped, biting your lip while you whined. Alastor wasn't having that nonsense however, grabbing your chin and crashing his lips against yours. Forcing his tongue past your lips, he drew out those sounds of yours, the same sounds he heard in the bathroom that morning you were showering. Swallowing them up one by one, still pumping his hand to teasingly milk you for what you were worth in that moment. Thank whatever Heaven there was out there, because he almost reached his peak with you as you moaned his name once again.

• It took a moment for the shock to settle in. Alastor carefully removed his fingers from your entrance. Playfully, damn there lovingly tracing upwards. As if he were silently praising you for being so good for him.

• He allowed you to clean yourself up in the bathroom first while he changed the sheets, handled himself, and washed his hands thoroughly.

• Time resumed itself, as you both climbed into bed, you were sure to give him a hug and kissed his cheek.

------------------

"That was... amazing." You said. "I'm not sure what spurred that on but, thank you."

He turned to you, smiling happily before booping your nose. "You are ever so welcomed darling, should you ever require such a thing again, I have no problem offering my assistance to you. I rather enjoyed it, I thank you for respecting my boundaries when it comes to physical touch. It's appreciated more than you think."

You giggled, before cutting yourself off with a yawn. "No problem Alastor, I think it's time we head to bed. It'll be morning before we know it..."

"You pose a good point darling. I hope you sleep well."

"You too Alastor.."

Cuddling up to him as he assumes his best imitation of Plank from Ed, Edd, N Eddy, you both bask in the afterglow of each other's company as you drift to sleep. Happy and satisfied with the possibilities to cum.

----------------------------

Thank you for reading my blurbs once again! I think I might start categorizing these so I'll let you guys pick what blurb I write about next! :D

[mavrintarou]

[Daddies in Decembers] Sakusa Kiyoomi

I'm 4 days into December but thought, I should dedicate this month to the daddies being dads lol. This was not supposed to be this long, I can't guarantee that the other characters will have something this lengthy. Enjoy~

Warning: fluffy and dreamy Omi, Omi who knows how to waltz, Omi who is a beast in bed (we all know that though) smut . You met Kiyoomi a few months ago after you found out he was going to be your partner for your friend’s Bridgerton theme wedding. Your first impression of this man was that he was cold and unapproachable. He was always standing at a distance from everyone else and kept to himself.

“It’s normal, that’s Kiyoomi.” Hinako text you. She admitted that out of all the other bridesmaids, you were the best fit for Kiyoomi because of his attitude.

Engaging with people was usually a breeze for you, even when it came to strangers. However, Sakusa Kiyoomi was on another level. Despite your best efforts to connect with him for the sake of the wedding, he remained unyielding. His piercing glares suggested annoyance, and he rarely cracked a smile or engaged in conversation. Moreover, his face was often half-covered underneath a mask 99% of the time. Whenever you tried to start a conversation with him, he would only respond with a simple answer.

You immediately adjusted to his behavior and only engaged in a conversation when needed.

The exact moment you started feeling drawn to Kiyoomi was unclear. Hinako and Youta’s wedding required great preparation. The ten bridesmaid and their groomsmen were expected to learn how to waltz and participate in three of the dances that were part of the reception program.

Your initial waltz class with Kiyoomi was anxiety-inducing. Aware of his strong aversion to germs, you were uncertain about how he would react to holding your hand. Prior to the class, you took extra precautions by washing your hands three times.

It was the first occasion you had witnessed Kiyoomi in casual attire, excluding his sport outfits. Following the instructor’s guidance, he took your hand and encircled his other arm around your waist.

“Let me know if my hand positioning makes you feel uncomfortable,” he mumbled. You assured him he was fine.

Kiyoomi surprisingly showed great skills in waltzing. He picked up the steps and movements immediately and was praised by the instructor for how gracefully his body moved.

“Relax and just follow me,” Kiyoomi commanded softly after you struggled to follow the tune and his steps, stepping on his toes as a result. You looked up and your eyes nearly bulged when he said that he had his mask pulled down below his chin, giving you a full view of his face. “I’ll go at your pace.”

Just like that, two were the first pair to nail the first dance.

Your relationship began to flourish since that day.

You both dedicated extra time outside of dance class for practice, and in the private moments shared between just the two of you, a different side of him emerged – a soft side.

He was gradually growing at ease in your presence, evident in the way he would swiftly discard his mask as soon as he was around you.

“Closer,” Kiyoomi whispered, pulling you right against his body. “Remember, the instructor said we must be more intimate?”

“Waltzing should be intimate, I know you guys aren’t romantic partners but you all should try to put more emotions into it,” said the instructor at their last class.

Nodding your head, you relaxed and tried not to blush even more at how close you two were. You shift your gaze to his coffee table that’s pushed against the wall, anything to distract you from staring at his gorgeous face. The dance studio was closed for cleaning and neither of you knew until you arrived only to be disappointed at the sign on the door.

You were on the verge of suggesting that you guys could reconnect again in a few days, given your upcoming busy schedule with work over the next two days.

“You comfortable… coming to my place? It is nearby.”

You had to refrain from smiling, seeing how he couldn’t look at you in the eyes and his ears were bloodshot red.

“Sure,” you gesture, “lead the way.”

Each dance and song used to be a drag to you, but recently, you’ve discovered that you’re getting lost in the music and the steps, completely immersed in the dance. Before you realize it, you and Kiyoomi find yourself at the end of the waltz breathing heavily, locked in a gaze, deeply connected through the rhythm.

The moment it began was a blur, but gradually, you both discovered comfort and support in each other’s presence, sharing smiles and laughter as you immersed yourself in the dance.

“We did it,” you grinned, realizing that both of you had mastered the dance steps, reaching a point where mistakes were almost nonexistent. From the very beginning to the end, you and Kiyoomi seamlessly executed the waltz.

You aren’t sure if it was a mistake to look into Kiyoomi’s eyes but you did and found yourself lost in his. Your fingers itched to thread through his curls, brush your thumb against the two beauty marks on his forehead.

“Y/n,” he exhaled deeply. You realize it wasn’t due to the dance, as you had already caught your breath.

“… yes?”

His eyes shift lower, you feel them shift to your lips. “Can I – may I… kiss you?” Before you could answer, he quickly withdrew from you, turning away. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, “that was stupid of me to ask.”

You closed the distance and tugged his sleeve to turn him around. He looked down at you with a frown and a frustrated expression. You ignored it all but what you couldn’t ignore was realizing how tall he was compared to you at that exact moment.

Looking around, his coffee table was right beside you. Without much thought, you stepped on the table, gripped the collar of his t-shirt, and pulled him towards you before pressing your lips against his.

It was a simple innocent kiss.

Until you were about to pull away but a hand wrapped behind your head, and Kiyoomi’s lips moved over yours in a hungry and deprived kiss.

“Mhmm,” you moaned, hands cupping his face. You move your mouth with his, eagerly meeting his kiss.

You both pulled away, breathless, more breathless than when you two waltzed together.

You pressed your forehead against him, realizing with you standing on his coffee table, you were slightly taller than him.

“S – sorry,” he murmured.

“For what?”

“Kissing you.”

“I kissed you,” you corrected, frowning.

“And then I kissed you.”

“But I’m not sorry?” You retort.

.

Everything shifted from the moment the kiss occurred. In the presence of others, Kiyoomi remained close, yet he retained his stoic expression, and nobody else seemed to discern the shift between the two of you. You found peace in subtle moments, such as when his hand gently brushed against yours or his pinky subtly intertwined with yours – a private exchange that went unnoticed by everyone else.

The wedding came around and before you knew it, it was the real dance.

You faced Kiyoomi, and despite having walked down the aisle alongside him earlier, you found it challenging to fully comprehend how handsome he appeared with his curls styled to the side, dressed in a sharp black suit.

Throughout the wedding, neither of you had the chance to share a moment together, let alone exchange a simple, routine kiss. Every time you two finally found a moment to gaze at each other for longer than three seconds, one of you would inevitably be pulled away for something else.

“You look stunning,” he whispered the moment you two closed the distance and were pressed against one another.

“You look dashing,” you smiled, following his steps.

You twirled around, your back pressed against his chest as you mirrored his steps. Your heart quickened as his hand firmly pressed against your belly instead of his usual place on your waist.

Kiyoomi nudges your head, making you tilt your head, your eyes closing in response as you feel the music and the dance. You felt his nose graze against your ear. In a quiet, low voice, he murmured, “I was starting to lose my patience because I couldn’t catch a second with you.” With that, he spun you back around, guiding the dance with grace. “I just want to be with you.”

For a few seconds, the others around you blurred and you could no longer hear the music. You stared deeply into Kiyoomi’s eyes repeating the words he just said.

In recent nights, you’ve found yourself foolishly attempting to unravel the sexual tension lingering between the two of you. Did he desire it as well, or were you the only one harboring such delusions? These thoughts began to weigh on you, leading to a sense of melancholy as you pondered what would become of your connection once the wedding concluded. You wouldn’t have an excuse to see him anymore.

Shooting your shot, you asked, “do you want to come back to my room tonight?”

Did he understand the hidden meaning behind your question?

What if he shot you down?

He blinked at you as if trying to comprehend what you just asked him.

Your ears began ringing and you felt embarrassed.

“Can we go now?” he asked shyly.

.

“Ahh,” you moaned, back arching as Kiyoomi pounded you from behind. You lost track of time, let alone how many orgasms he has squeezed out of you. “Ki – yomi… Kiyoomi – wait… slow down… ple – please…”

You two made it back to your room and all your clothes were discarded, mixing amongst each other and becoming a trail that led to the bed.

The headboard thumps loudly against the wall. It was the reality for you as to how deep and how hard he was pounding into you.

Your arms and knees gave in as your body collapsed onto the bed. That did not stop Kiyoomi and his movement, if anything, he continued and penetrated you deeper.

You were going to die. You are convinced of that.

“Omi… Omi,” you moaned into the pillow, you tried to lift yourself but it was useless. Each time he thrusted, he penetrated so deep into your body sending you over the edge. You were going to cum again.

The bed shook in waves with his thrusts as he neared his own orgasm. Your body bounced and each time you felt his cock deeper into your pussy.

Kiyoomi’s last thrust stilled and you feel him tremble as he came inside the condom.

His groans were cute, you thought to yourself amid the moment.

“What is funny?”

Did you laugh out loud?

You glance over your shoulder, seeing him tower over your back. His weight was supported by his knees and elbow but he remained deep inside of you.

“You’re a beast, Kiyoomi.”

He burst out laughing before rolling you both over. You ended up falling asleep in his arms, warmed and protected through the night.

.

You had worried for nothing as he asked you to be his girlfriend the next morning. He expressed his worry, the same worry as you, about not seeing each other once the wedding was over.

That was when he realized how he felt about you.

“I like you,” he tells you in his husky morning voice that you instantly fell in love with. “You made me feel things I never felt for anyone.”

“Is that why you set out to make sure I wouldn’t be able to walk this morning?”

He chuckles and you tighten your arm around him.

“I like you too,” you tell him after a few minutes of silence.

Kiyoomi tightened his arms around you and rolled you onto your back. “Say it again.”

“I like you,” you repeated.

It was hard for you to believe that this grinning from-ear-to-ear Kiyoomi was the same one you met a few months ago.

You lean up to kiss him, you love these new discoveries about Kiyoomi, his morning voice, his chuckles, and his smiles.

.

They say it takes about a year for you to learn the true nature of someone but some, you find their true nature a lot sooner.

Sakusa Kiyoomi was not who you thought he was.

The icy and solemn man you initially encountered was far from the one currently resting on your lap, arms embracing your waist, his face nestled into your stomach.

“Don’t stop.”

You hummed while gazing down at the large puppy, thinking he had drifted off to sleep.

Instead of repeating himself, Kiyoomi grabbed your hand and placed it back on his head, wanting you to continue to keep petting him and run your fingers through his curls.

You giggle and continue to keep massaging his scalp, knowing he needs it after a long day of practice and dealing with his teammates.

Your husband of a month and soon-to-be daddy had become even clingier after the life-changing events of your wedding and your pregnancy.

He needed to be beside you at all times, even in the mornings when he was tired and you got up to prepare his lunch. He would grumble and cling on to you from behind, chin resting on your shoulder as he watched you. Sometimes in the same position, he would chop up the vegetables while you made his sandwich, all while clinging on to you.

Despite finding it bothersome, you recognized that his love language centered around physical touch, only with you, of course. You endured his behavior because of your affection for him.

. . .

E/n: I try to write about other characters too and not just my usual Omi and Rin.

@queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy

[fumiscripts]

✦ I'M NOT YOURS

✦ one shot ,, yoichi isagi x f!reader.

✦ content:: you— a corporate worker— suffer being head over heels for isagi yoichi— a pro soccer player.

for @shrii-kk, angst/hurt/no comfort, 603 words

additional: reader FUMBLES big time, author's first time writing angst w no happy ending, author does NOT have experience in romance, no beta we die like my motivation

You didn't know how. 

You just fell in love.

Isagi Yoichi is a very likeable person. So how could you not fall for him? He's kind, friendly, everything sweet. You witnessed it firsthand, knowing him since all the way back when both of you were children. You've been in each other's lives longer than you haven't, it's a type of friendship a lot of people want.

But that friendship is killing you. Being just friends is killing you.

You try and fail to get rid of these consuming feelings, knowing you can't have him. It'd be selfish of you, weighing him down when he's set on achieving his dreams. Would he, a professional soccer player, spare his time for a relationship with a forgettable nobody like you? He could do so much better.

How selfish of you, wishing he'd be yours.

You distanced yourself— to not fall harder than you already have— you know you can't have him. First, you stopped contacting him as often, and then you tried not to cling to him, tried not to hang onto his every word like it was your lifeline. It was difficult to let go, especially when he was your reason to keep going, your reason to live. But you had to do it. You can't keep being a burden. The weight of a relationship could hold him back.

Hours turned to days of no contact, to the point that you found your last conversation to be weeks ago. You could tell he was concerned. Each digital letter spelled it out. Alas, you brushed it off, saying you were busy. With his hectic schedule and you purposefully avoiding him, that connection that was tightly bound started to drift apart.

You ignored the heavy mix of feelings consuming you like wildfire. You needed to let him go.

The quest to distance yourself was successful.

It's been months, and you've convinced yourself that you got over him. You haven't interacted in a long while, so you shouldn't feel anything towards him, right?

So then why did your chest tighten at seeing those dark locks once again?

Isagi looked as surprised as you. After seasons of no contact, he was finally able to see you again— in an airport, walking across each other— the both of you were about to board on your flights to somewhere, a different location from the other. He called your name, it left nostalgic taste on his tongue.

You stared in silence. All the things you wanted to say, and all the things you shouldn't were stuck in your throat. So you settled for a simple nod of acknowledgement, forcing out a casual reply, one that held no trace of all the brewing emotions threatening to overflow within you. “How are you?” you asked, attempting to prompt a conversation for who knows what. Maybe you were desperate for some semblance of interaction, you hated that you missed him. You weren't supposed to.

He looks away, eyes flickering to somewhere else. “Haha, I'm doing fine. I got tournaments to win, games to play, planes to catch…” Isagi trails off, awkwardly fiddling with his hand. There, you spotted a glimpse of it— a golden jewelry adorning his ring finger— it caught the artificial lights of the bulbs above, and your gaze lingered onto it for a second longer than you'd like, the image burning into your mind.

It appears that the articles of him dating some big-shot star weren't just rumors. Hell, they were even engaged.

He's slipped through your fingers, and you let him go.

You weren't his. He wasn't yours.

(a/n):: mb for this writing slop ruejwhiw

taglist (ask to be added):: @tired-xyra-urstruly @fishii-writes @rini-rushed @rinitoshiplzdateme

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