#But if he’s your poor little meow meow I won’t judge you

[rosethatsinyourmouth]

Who up being a prisoner to their own guilt (in a totally fucked up and gnarly, psychosexual kind of way?)

[janeykath318]

Kitties And Canoodling (Wintershock)

Meow! Meow! Meow!

It was the persistent pitiful mewing that had drawn the bride and two of her bridesmaids away from the waning reception to follow the unknown kitty’s pleas for help. They’d each taken turns trying to coax the frightened black kitty out of its hiding spot and Darcy, with her skirt bunched up around her, was now sweet talking the distressed creature, who couldn’t have been more than two months old.

“C’mon sweetie. I won’t hurt you. I’ve even got treats with me…..” She held out the enticing kitty treat to the kitten, who stared at it suspiciously with greenish yellow eyes.

Meow!

“You know you want to….” Jane added from behind Darcy.

The kitten limped forward and hesitatingly nibbled at the treat. In the better light, Darcy’s heart broke even more at seeing the injured paw and skin and bones condition her new friend was suffering from.

“Ready?” she heard Natasha whisper.

At Darcy’s nod, the kitten was captured in a burrito hold, using a large cloth napkin from one of the tables. There was struggling and hissing, but kitty was safely deposited in the car carrier from Darcy’s car.

“Poor little void,” Jane crooned, “we’ll take you to the vet and get you all fixed up so you can find a forever home.”

“He or she will make a nice house panther for somebody,” Natasha added. “You’ve got some dust on your gown, Darcy.”

Darcy shrugged and leaned down to brush the debris off of her wedding dress. The rustic barn on Clint’s property was impressively clean and had been the perfect spot for her small cozy wedding, but the corner where the kitty had been hiding was rather dusty.

“It’ll clean up. I’m more worried about the kitty.”

“What’s going on over here?” Bucky queried, making a beeline for his new wife. Darcy pointed to the carrier and its occupant.

“We had a rescue mission! Poor little kitty was injured and abandoned.”

“Awww, poor little guy,” Bucky sighed, leaning down to get a good look at the small cat. Kitty responded with more hisses, which only made Bucky grin knowingly. “A spicy one. We gonna keep him—or her?”

“I’d like to, but that depends on Alpine,” Darcy answered. “Natasha said she’ll take the kitty if we don’t. Either way, they’ll have a good home.”

“You and your heart for strays,” Bucky sighed lovingly, wrapping his arms around her. “One of the many reasons I love you. I was pretty feral myself when we met.”

“Oh, you were,” Darcy agreed, fondly remembering her long efforts to befriend and socialize Bucky Barnes. “But you understand why I do what I do. The happy-ending-in-a -forever-home stories are incredibly worth it.”

She smiled happily up at her husband who hummed his agreement and wiped a speck of sawdust out of her hair right before he kissed her.

BONUS

“Was the rescue mission a success?” Steve asked Natasha as she rejoined him under the brightly lit rafters.

“Very much so,”she confirmed, grinning at his disheveled state. Steve had clearly been enjoying himself, judging by the absent jacket, wildly crooked tie and the mussed hair. “Were you and Thor playing catch with Mjolnir again?”

Steve looked adorably sheepish.

“Well…..maybe. But we were strictly outside. We discovered Mjolnir likes Sam, which was pretty cool. Sam was very excited.”

“I bet he was,” she agreed. “Did he already head out?”

“Yeah. He wanted to canoodle with Sharon in private.” Steve replied slyly. “I’m guessing Bucky was also looking for some canoodling with Darcy.”

“Yes,” she confirmed. “They are so adorable together. “She was just what he needed.”

“And you were just what I needed,” Steve murmured, expression turning very soft and sappy. Natasha took the opportunity to perch on his lap and indulge in a little canoodling herself.

[thenightling]

Tumblr has discovered The Sandman...

Tumblr has discovered Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman.   Here are some of the examples of proof of that discovery.  The good and the not-so-good.

1.   The Corinthian (A nightmare entity) has been referred to as a “Blorbo.”  Based on my understanding of the meaning of the word I am pretty certain The Corinthian probably should not be your Blorbo.  But then again you might be into that sort of thing.  I’ve seen some strange things in the Horror movie slasher fandoms.  Just know that if he was real it would probably not be safe to think of him as your Blorbo.

2.  The Corinthian has been called Cori and Cory respectively.   And so it begins...

3.  Morpheus has been referred to as a poor little “Meow Meow” and not while in his cat form.  And yes, I know he fits the criteria for the term.  It’s just this was the first time I’ve seen him called it without it being literally related to his cat form.   You have truly made it in the world of Tumblr when they start calling your character a Blorbo or Poor LIttle Meow Meow.  Whatever happened to Woobie?   I would think Morpheus would fit under “Woobie.”   

4.   I have seen Tom Sturridge (Morpheus’s Netflix actor) referred to as a DILF.  (Dad I’d like to ...have fun with).   As the term is usually reserved for older men, and I, myself, am forty, and Tom Sturridge is a few years younger than I am, this term usage came as a surprise to me. It turns out some fans are using the term quite literally as Tom Sturridge literally is a father.  I was used to the term being used specifically in regard to age.

5. Morpheus has been compared to a Disney Princess.

6.   A scene from the source material has been taken out of context to make the character look more like an asshole than he actually is even though there are plenty of real asshole moments as the character is on a long redemption arc.

The scene in question is when Matthew the Raven says “Penny for your thoughts.” And Morpheus responds with “You have no pennies, Matthew.”  Later Morpheus offers Matthew a literal penny in exchange for him voicing his thoughts.  Morpheus being too literal is what is happening here. Context matters.

7.  There are people trying to bluff having read The Sandman without having actually read The Sandman to try to gain clout in the fandom.   It’s okay to have not read it yet, guys. It’s a great read. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.  Go have fun.  I promise it’s not as difficult as some people make it out to be.

Someone genuinely tried to argue with me that the “White haired version of Morpheus” was not created by Neil Gaiman and was created long after he was done writing The Sandman.  If you have read The Sandman you would understand how wrong this is. 

Don’t try to bluff having read The Sandman if you have not.  We can tell.  We can always tell.  

8.  There are gatekeepers trying to intimidate new readers into thinking there’s nothing whimsical in The Sandman and that it’s “So deep” and “you won’t get it the first time you read it.  You have to read it a few times to understand it.”

Yes, there is darkness in The Sandman. It’s part dark fantasy / part Gothic Horror with moments of gore but there are light things too.   Don’t discourage new readers.   I promise the story isn’t as hard to get into as some people make it out to be. I know terms like “Classic” can make some people chafe.  Just give it a try.  If you don’t like the first issue, try the second. If you don’t like the second, keep going until at least issue four.  If you still don’t like it after issue 4, it’s okay to stop.  No one will judge you.  If you don’t like comic books, try the audio drama, it’s divided into chapters like a novel.  Each issue being a chapter.   If you don’t like it after chapter four, that���s okay.  You’ll know if you like it or not by then. 

9.  There is already fan art of Tom Sturridge as Morpheus in funny / ridiculous scenarios.  No picture is given here as I did not get permission from the artists to share them yet.

10. There are already people complaining about the casting without having watched the show yet. One faction claiming the casting is “too woke” while another faction seemed concerned that it’s not inclusive enough even though Desire is nonbinary and pansexual, Death is a black woman, Rose and Unity are black women, Ruthven Sykes is a black man, Lucienne is a black woman who wears spectacles, Lucifer (who has no set gender or even sexual reproductive organs) is being played by a woman, Alexander Burgess is gay, The Corinthian is gay, Johanna Constantine is bisexual, Cain and Abel are South Asian...      

There even seem to be politically charged rants complaining because the English language show, with an English cast, written by an English writer, has a lead actor with an English accent...

So what do I have to say about Tumblr discovering The Sandman? 

Well..

 Welcome to the Sandom!  

You’re in for quite a ride.   And don’t put your fingers too close to The Corinthian’s face.  Just... Don’t.

[berestweys]

Kinnporsche Rewatch - Episode 14

Summary: MISS ERIKA SAVES THE DAY

Favorite Line: “You gotta be tough. Don’t be all talk.”

Porsche’s Wacky Antics: Tells Kinn if he has ‘business’ with the Minor Family he better put his mouth where his money is. When Kinn tells him he has a surprise for him, Porsche says, “Then I’ll go wait for you in the restroom.” Smacks Kinn on the ass.

Why is Chay crying? Kim sang him a sad song (and dammit I love this song thank you Jeff Satur for your everything) and says It’s You. Please Stay. Chay cries a pretty cry and can’t quite bring himself to delete the video.

Woe is Big: Footage from my private dirge for Big while everyone else is shooting at each other (that’s Ranya in the bg with the great manicure):

(Pouring one out for Chan too)

Tankhun Highlight: Joins up with Team Arm and his toys to save Porsche and Kinn and befuddle Vegas. OOPS, did Tankhun accidentally hit Kinn and Porsche? ... Woops. Sends a photo of “his beloved son” to Korn, who is of course tormenting his betta fish. I’ve seen the meta theorizing Tankhun is the other player in The Chess Game and in this moment I believe it.

A Woman Speaks: Yok tells Chay over the phone to be good and she’ll be back soon. Miss Erika shouts at Porsche to take Khun Kinn to safety and then screams at the Minor Family, “Don’t mess with my masters! You die!!!” Miss Erika is some kind of superhero and even on second watch I grabbed my face and screamed when she appeared. 

What’s Pete eating, and who prepared it for him? Presumably he’s going to eat some of the takeout marriage curry rice once he’s done cuddling with Vegas and Macau. From here on out, no more hunger for Pete. Only full tummies everyday.

Vegas Report: He warns Porsche about what's coming. He’ll be a good little soldier for Gun, but he won’t let anything happen to Pete. Porsche tells him to take care of Pete and Vegas nods firmly in agreement. Tells Porsche he’s going to have to choose & wishes him luck with his choice. Judging by his outfit when they storm the Main Family compound, he’s planning to attend a Bee Gees Fanclub reunion after the coup. His FACE when he stumbles in and sees Gun slumped lifeless against the bookshelves UGH. The complete silence as the camera moves in and his tremulous “Phaw?” does me in. Poor little meow meow. The fragility of his face when he later wakes up to a new life: I will write a poem about it. Look out, Siken, here I come.

Shipping Activities

KinnPorsche: Porsche comes barreling into the gunfight to protect Kinn. He’s on Kinn’s side and no one else’s. Kinn grabs Porsche’s dick while they’re actively being shot at and I’M LOVE THEM. Gun tries to lure Porsche to his side but Porsche is physically clinging to Kinn and it’ll never happen. Kinn gets between Porsche & Korn, and I can see the moment when Porsche realizes that he can’t make Kinn choose; Kinn’s not going to save himself from his father. Porsche is going to have to save him himself, and then we have the most awkward engagement ring exchange in history. Kinn’s been practicing to be a bartender so he can give Porsche his heart! Porsche promises Kinn his whole life, and Kinn will treasure it. The family is united, Porsche is wearing a Danger Suit, and I remember that Porsche is the hero of this story. He’s not naïve about what he’s gotten himself into, not after everything. What comes next? The hero is going to do everything in his newfound power to save his entire family from the inside. (Vegas will help.)

VegasPete: This section’s first draft was a wall of text nearly 1K long, riddled with caps lock, caterwauling, and gnashing of teeth. Once I read through it I realized two things: 1) My mind has collapsed inward and crushed any chance of reason or perspective. 2) I may be an actual lunatic and no one should listen to me. So, I will just say this about VegasPete in the finale, because we all watched it, and most of us are still licking our wounds about it months later: You are responsible forever for what you have tamed. Full disclosure though, Vegas, the thing you tamed will shoot you and beat the tar out of you, and then it’ll insist you take it home & feed it. Pete demands Vegas take responsibility for him and Vegas… does. The romance and devotion between two such fucked up individuals is the greatest thing I’ve seen in years. Please give me season two with VegasPete being disaster domestics, arguing over vet bills for their cats, literally unable to pick out curtains together without an eruption of violence. Give me feral dads (Mama Bears) to Baby Venice and big brothers to Macau. Give me the two of them tender & screaming, possessive and snarling over each other, beginners at love who’ve got the desire but not the know-how to do kink in a healthy way, tryna be better but completely at sea as to how to do so. Two fuckers hopelessly, desperately in love & in dire need of therapy. (Porsche on the sidelines going ‘Are... are you guys okay?’ and they turn on him in unison “NO!”) Listen, I- I need it. I need it so badly. My hands are trembling.

Do I care about KimChay yet? Hmm... eh? Kim is hot as hell casually protecting Chay. Leaving the goons dead on the floor for Chay to find, like grisly gifts from a feral cat… well. Okay. Okay there’s potential there. I don’t /care/, exactly. But I can see if I was given another full season to see what happens next, I could be convinced to show a mild interest. Maybe. Begrudgingly. (Just keep Porchay away from Valet Parking.) (Also Macau is going to have to be there in the mix or forget it.)

# of KimChay scenes in this episode: 2.5

# of KimChay scenes I watched without skipping through: 2.5

Kisses: Porsche and Kinn in Kinn’s living room, sharp blue and green suits. Cheek & hand kisses on the boat. Vegas and Pete in the hospital, once Vegas understands Pete is here for good. Vegas kisses Macau and Pete on their cheeks when they dissolve into a little pile of fambly.

Tits Out: Vegas, one tit out, in his enormous hospital bed. Excellent, poignant nipple, the most I’ve respected him throughout fourteen episodes.

What’s Gun wearing?

Serious Observations of Various Sorts: Chan dies sure in the knowledge he has a bigger dick than any man alive before or since. Maybe in his next life he’ll be lucky enough to own a Kevlar vest. Nampheung tells Porsche and Chay in flashback that little birds represent freedom. When Porsche and Chay visit her she’s painting two pairs of birds reflected across from each other. Her story is only beginning and I’m so mad we probs won’t get a second season. Whatever’s going on behind her troubled eyes in that final scene, I want to know it. Korn’s been keeping her for some nefarious purpose and I. must. know.

Have I calmed down? *wipes away the tears* *blows nose* *wanders aimlessly down the street mumbling snippets from mary oliver poems to myself* HAVE I?

*

Episode 1/ Episode 2/ Episode 3/ Episode 4/ Episode 5/ Episode 6/ Episode 7/ Episode 8/ Episode 9/ Episode 10/ Episode 11/ Episode 12/ Episode 13

WAIT, askljhfdfskjdhgf one more thing about VegasPete. There’s been lots of fandom scuttlebutt about Pete’s bloody back and how it likely happened when he and Vegas were rolling around in the parking garage, but. I cannot help thinking the pattern of it looks like an angel with his wings torn off. Which, you know, thematically is not out of place even a little bit. Pete and Vegas’ story is centered around life, death, and rebirth. There’s room for a fallen angel in there somewhere.

Ok bye. ***

[circus4apsycho8]

more than a hug. | the batter x reader

Fandom: OFF

Pairing: The Batter x Reader

Warnings: jealousy, cussing

It was no surprise to you that the Elsen were very cuddly creatures. Not only that, but they were very squishy, too. You absolutely loved hugging the cute little guys! Who wouldn’t? They were warm, soft, and sweet.

The first time you had hugged an Elsen was after Dedan had finished yelling at the one. You and your beloved Batter had stepped out of the barn before you found yourself rushing over to the pitiful thing. How could you not? The poor guy looked like he was about to cry.

You were quick to scoop him into your arms. “Hush now. He’s just a mean old man. You did nothing wrong.”

He accepted your hug and buried his face into the crook of your neck. You hear him sniffle a little bit. “Th-thank you…hhh…you’re too kind.”

“You’re welcome,” you mumbled, hugging him a little tighter. You heard your Puppet awkwardly shuffle around, causing a deep chuckle to emanate from your chest. A few seconds later, you set him down onto the ground. The little Elsen had a slight blush on his cheeks.

“Miss, th-thank you and your…uh…friend here for purifying the barns. Even if it didn’t get noticed by the Inspector, we appreciate it…” he teeters off when he notices Batter glaring at him. You smack the Batter’s shoulder and smile down at the Elsen.

“You’re very welcome! Take care of yourself, alright? I think it’s about time we got a move on.” Batter remains silent as you bid the Elsen goodbye.

“I will! Good luck with…whatever you’re doing!” the Elsen wishes before the Batter grabs your hand and drags you behind him.

“Thank you!” you yell, waving at him before turning back to your Puppet.

“Dude, chill. You can let me go now,” you comment. He reluctantly releases his grip on you.

“What was that about?” he demands, looking anywhere but at you.

“He was about to cry, Batter! He was scared! I couldn’t just leave him like that!” you retort, rolling your eyes.

“He would have gotten over it.”

You sigh. “Sometimes a little kindness goes a long way, Batter.”

…

The second time you were cuddly with an Elsen is when you and Batter got stuck in the shopping mall maze. Batter was getting extremely frustrated and you just wanted to get the hell out of that blue hellhole.

So, when you and Batter found a lone Elsen who had claimed to be lost, you declared it was time to take a break.

“I’m lost,” the Elsen said, “I could make a fire with the boxes...to ward off the ghosts...but...that would be too dangerous.”

You immediately began to answer, but Batter pulled you back outside for a moment.

“Don’t answer him.”

You roll your eyes, growing annoyed. He couldn’t just boss you around like that. “He’s lost, Batter. We need to help him get out of here!”

“He can find his way out by himself.”

“Batter. He’s scared. Can’t we bring him with us? It’s only temporary. I can do all the talking, too!” you push, trying to decipher how he’s feeling. Batter frowns at your words, and not for the first time, you wish you could see his eyes. “He might attract a Spectre.”

And it was then and there you knew there was something else wrong. Throughout all of your travels, Batter had strived to attract Spectres so he could Purify them. Hell, he’d even shouted out to them in the smoke mines! So why was he so worried about attracting them now? Especially since they were much weaker here, too?

“Since when are you worried about attracting Spectres?” you grill, folding your arms and narrowing your eyes.

He doesn’t answer for a moment, clearly caught off guard. Shaking your head, you look back up at him. “Look, what’s up with you, man? This isn’t like you.”

“I don’t want him to come with us,” he answers. You don’t buy it, but at the same time you know he’s not going to crack just yet.

With a sigh, you say: “I don’t think that’s all, but I know you won’t tell me. Can’t he just come with us? Who knows, he might be of help!”

He remains silent for a few more moments, then: “Fine.”

You grin before darting back into the room. The Elsen looks up at you hopefully.

“Come on, we can help you get out,” you coo, smiling.

“Wh-what about the ghosts?” he asks.

“We can protect you from them. Trust me,” you answer before offering your hand to him. He takes it gratefully before you pull him up.

“Thank you very much, ma’am,” he replies. You hear the Batter scoff quietly from behind you.

“You’re welcome,” you respond.

“Let’s go,” comes Batter’s voice as he nearly stomps out of the room. You roll your ryes. So much for taking a break.

“Ignore him. He’s always grumpy,” you inform, taking his small hand and pulling him behind you.

…

During your trek through the exasperating maze, you noticed Batter was considerably quieter and tenser. Eventually, you had decided that he would tell you about whatever was bothering whenever it suited him. He seemed to be angry too, if the way he was taking out whatever monstrosity showed itself. It was almost like he didn’t want to listen to you but did anyway. His stubbornness grew to the point where you just allowed him to do whatever he wanted with the battles, so you could comfort the Elsen.

And when, finally, you five reached the Judge, the Elsen quickly thanked you and scampered off while Batter spoke to the Judge. You waved at the unfortunate Elsen before turning back to the conversation at hand.

“Is not this publicity so effective and efficient whilst defying the basics of consumer marketing?” the Judge says once he sees you. The two of them are facing some kind of advertisement painted on the wall.

“For silkier hair: the meat fountains of Alma,” Batter reads, clearly unamused.

“Oh, you can read? Anyway, I am glad to have found you. Maybe you can help me unravel the mystery that fate has placed before me,” the Judge comments. He glances up at you and smiles before trotting over to you. You sit down cross-legged against the wall before he crawls onto your lap. Smiling, you pet his soft fur.

“It turns out that my brother has been living in this area for many years. He has a special affinity for colors of the cool kind. Unfortunately, I have so far failed to cross his path. I have tried to betake myself to the roof of the library, where he resides. However, I found the door closed. Even the long hours of intensive, repeated meowing and compulsive scratching did not do a thing.”

“Aw, I’m sorry Judge. Is there anything we can do to help?” you question, scratching him behind his ear. He mewls in response, flipping over onto his back in a silent request for tummy rubs.

“My request is as follows: if at the bend of a corridor you happen to see Valerie, give him my greetings.”

You nod. “Will do.”

“Okay,” The Batter agrees. “Puppeteer, I’m going to go speak to Zacharie for a moment. Do you mind waiting here while I do so?”

You’re mildly surprised, but you agree anyway. “Uh, no, go ahead.”

“Thank you.” He saunters away, trusty bat in hand with Alpha and Omega following him.

You blink. “That was weird.”

“Eccentric of the Batter indeed,” agrees The Judge, “what do you think is amiss?”

“He’s been acting very…out of character lately,” you muse, “I’m not entirely sure what’s going on.” Is he mad at you? Should you be doing something differently? If so, then why isn’t he just talking to you about it? “I wonder if he’s mad at me.”

“I highly doubt that. Your beloved Puppet could never be angry with you for long,” The Judge responds.

You shake your head, causing the Judge to glance up at you. “I don’t know, Judge. If I did something wrong, he just…he needs to speak up. I guess I should ask him about that, huh?”

The Judge nods. “If you truly believe so, then communication is the sole solution.”

“Alright, then,” you sigh, sifting your fingers through his soft fur.

A few minutes later, Batter reappears in the room, the Add Ons at his side. It was then you realized he didn’t buy anything because you were the one holding the credits.

“You good?” you question as the Judge reluctantly slides off of your lap.

“Yes. We should go,” he answers, although you catch a glimpse of his cheeks, which are…wait, is he blushing? You wonder what the odd merchant had said this time around.

Before you left, however, you approached the masked merchant standing idly behind the counter.

“Ah, buenos dias, dearest Puppeteer. How could I be of assistance?”

“Could I see what you have on you?” you ask. He chuckles.

“Of course, belle femme,” he replies, showing you his wares. You’d grown used to the odd nicknames he gave you.

You ended buying a few Fortune Tickets and some meat, placing all purchased items in your inventory before bidding Zacharie goodbye. Before you can move away, however, the merchant catches your hand in his. You freeze, watching as he lifts his mask ever-so-slightly before he brings the back of your hand to his lips.

“It’s always a pleasure to serve this little ragtag team of yours. Sois prudente, jolie fille.” Releasing your hand, he chuckles at your shocked expression, smirking as he glances at your stunned Puppet.

“Th-thank you,” you stutter before Batter places his hand behind your back and pushes you out of the door.

Once you’re outside, you blink a few times before you’re able to speak again. “Dude. What. The. Fuck?”

Batter shakes his head, probably both at your choice of language and recent events. “Language. I don’t know why he’s…” he sighs.

“He’s so weird. Wait…aren’t you fluent in French? What did he say?” you question.

Batter huffs. “The first nickname was ‘beautiful woman’. The second one was ‘Be safe, pretty girl’.”

Your cheeks grow even redder upon hearing the translation. “W-what? Really?”

He nods, remaining silent as the two of you continue to the park.

“Puppeteer…” he starts, voice soft.

“Yeah?” you ask, looking up at him. He avoids your gaze blatantly.

“I…” he trails off before continuing, “I think we should rest in Zone 0 before going to the park.”

You nod, the exhaustion of getting through the maze catching up with you. “Agreed.”

…

Once you two have reached the abandoned Zone, Batter hurriedly guides you past Zacharie, despite his greeting, and ushers to the upper levels.

“Which floor would you like to stay on?” he questions.

“Here’s fine,” you respond, sliding onto the floor. He hesitates before sitting next to you and dropping his bat onto the floor. You lean your head on his shoulder, causing him to tense up a bit before relaxing.

You hear him sigh again. “I’ve upset you, haven’t I?” His voice sounds uncharacteristically sullen for a man as stoic as he usually is.

“Kind of. I just wish you would talk to me. What’s going on with you, Batter? You’ve been acting weird lately.”

He heaves yet another sigh as you straighten your neck and shift. Batter looks up at you while you move. You end up straddling him with your hands on his shoulders. He stiffens at your gentle touches. From this angle, you can finally see his eyes.

You can’t tell exactly what color his eyes are, so you reach up before grasping the brim of his hat. He catches your wrist gently before you can pull it off all the way.

“Do you mind?” you whisper. “I really want to see your eyes.”

His grip on your wrist loosens before he removes it completely. “Go ahead.”

You smile at him in a silent thank-you before you remove it.

His eyes are a pretty shade of amber. They hold a kind of exhaustion that could only be obtained by fighting for something one couldn’t accomplish.

“Your eyes are beautiful,” you comment, smiling, “why didn’t you want me to see them?”

He bites his lip for a moment before looking away. “I am not entirely sure. I guess I just…don’t want you to see my…my real ones.”

“Your real ones?” you question, tilting your head slightly.

“Yes,” he confirms, placing a hand on your cheek. “I don’t want to scare you.”

“You won’t, Batter. Will you show me, please?” you ask, enjoying the feeling of his hands.

“Very well,” he says, “will you close your eyes for a moment?”

You obey quietly, pressing a hand against his. His hands are much bigger than yours as well as drier and calloused from using his bat so much.

“You may open your eyes now.”

Upon opening them, you find that his amber orbs have been replaced with four eyes. The irises are a deep shade of burgundy while the rest of the eye is a pretty crimson color.

“Whoa,” you breathe, removing your hand in order to trace the skin around his eyes. Even though it’s definitely unnatural for a human, he still looks handsome. “Those are even cooler!”

“You think so?” he questions, still unsure.

“Yes. I mean…I’ve never met anyone with red eyes before. I…I think they look even better than your other ones,” you confess, smiling shyly at him.

He studies your face for a moment before a teensy little smile lights up his face. “Thank you, Puppeteer. Thank you.”

You chuckle. “That’s what you get for having a pretty face. Now,” you lean back a little. “What’s been going on with you?”

His little blush is back, which almost makes you giggle. “Well…it has to do with what I talked to Zacharie about earlier.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. I…whenever I saw you hugging the Elsen or just…being affectionate with someone else, it made me angry. I wasn’t sure what exactly why I was; after all, you were just trying to be comforting. I knew Zacharie would have an answer, and he did. He informed me that…I should tell you. I wasn’t sure how. Eventually, he told me that…I was…jealous.”

You chuckle. “If you wanted a hug you should’ve just asked,” you respond, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling yourself to him. Burying your face into the crook of his neck, you smile as you feel him return it with a relieved smile. He loosely wraps his strong arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

You note that he smells like…bubblegum? Not just any bubblegum, but the kind that’s sort of stringy? Like the baseball gum. You chuckle, inhaling his scent.

Suddenly, he slides his hands up to your neck and he gently pushes you back a little bit, rubbing the tips of his thumbs over your jawline. You move your hands to his chest, right over his heart. It steadily beat beneath your fingertips. After that, your gaze sinks down to see his lips: they’re dry and chapped, but still so, so kissable.

The Batter releases a grunt before he pulls you forward, and your lips collide. He’s gentle and slow at first, testing the waters. When the two of you break apart for a moment, you go in for another one again; this time around, it gets a little more heated.

His hands slide back down to your waist, where he pulls your torso to his. You find your hands tangled in his ivory white hair. You feel him running his hands along your curves, to the small of your back, then retreating to your waist again.

You’re pulled back by the need for air. As you gaze into his red eyes, you recollect just why you love this man. He had protected you, tried to help you when no one else would. Even when he did get a little snappy, it was because he wasn’t exactly sure what to make of both the situation and his own feelings. It was there when you were looking at him, you realized he felt the same way.

He breathes your name, brushing a hand against your cheek again. You can tell he’s at a lost for words.

“I had a feeling you wanted more than a hug.”

[unleashedart]

i would like to know your fc5 & 4 blorbos and scrunklies👁

Natalia pls, you probably know this better than me

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): OH JOHN, BOLD AND BRAVE. I have no more words. I'm so sorry...

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): All the fangs for hire. The sweetest of babes. All of them. Of the humans I would vote Roger. Bless than man and his potato helicopter.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Paolo. This man deserves so much more oh my god. He is the only one with a brain cell. My child deserves so much more than being stuck in a abusive relationship in a terrible country.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): This is a bit of a stretcher for obscure, but the Judge. The Judge is such an interesting concept and I think that Ubisoft could have done so much more with it. I'm so disappointed they didn't. Won't stop me from talking about them non stop though.

poor little meow meow (“problematic” / unpopular / controversial / otherwise pathetic fave): Ajay Ghale. This boy is pathetically under characterized and has all this shit happen to him for no reason whatsoever. This boy lost his whole ass family and that his dad is a terrorist murderer of his half sister. I love family vacations to the home country.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): JOSE CASTILLO. I would watch this man bounce around like in a pin ball machine just getting smacked from one end of the map to the other.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): Arcade NPC from Far Cry 5. If you don't know what I'm talking about first of all count your blessings, next of all it the NPC that always shows up and talks about arcade mode. He is obnoxious and I hate arcade mode so he spouts nothing but lies upon lies and for those sins he is going to superhell.

[hargrove-mayfields]

Harringrove April Day 10- Peaches

“Here kitty, kitty. Come get your goddamn treats.”

Billy’s on his knees in the backyard, his face pressed into the ground as he reaches blindly under the shed for the orange and white cat who moved right into their yard. She had babies in their empty doghouse last spring, but even now that the litter was all grown up and wreaking havoc on the neighborhood elsewhere, mama kitty refused to leave.

It wasn’t like her being there ever particularly bothered Billy, she was outside, he was inside or not home at all, so he didn’t see why it mattered that she wanted to sleep on their porch every now and again.

At least not until Neil said he’d put antifreeze in the cat food Max left on the porch if he caught her digging up Susan’s flower beds again, and Neil Hargrove had never made a promise he didn’t intend to keep, so then it was absolutely necessary that Billy get to this cat first.

Everything else, he’d already tried, hiding the food inside, which Max, oblivious to Neil’s threat, had put right back the next morning, putting oranges and mothballs and everything else that was supposed to repel stray cats in the garden, but everytime, the cat came back. She wouldn’t stay away.

So this was his last resort, getting scratched to shit every time he got close to her, over extending his shoulder from reaching so far under where he’d cornered her, and getting covered in dirt, all just to catch some poor little flea bag.

It’s hot outside, he’s bleeding, and he just wants to catch this stupid thing so whatever Neil does to her won’t be on his conscious, but he’s done. He rolls over onto his back, out of breath and holding his hand up to assess the stinging red scratches all over it.

And what do you know, the moment he’s given up, the little shit crawls out and just sits right on his chest like she wasn’t tearing him to shreds a second ago.

He chuckles, something between frustration and genuine amusement, tipping his head back on the grass and sighing. “So you gonna let me help you now, kitty cat?”

He brings his hand up to her and she bumps her head against it, and already he’s starting to figure her out. Like him, it seems miss kitty here trusts on her terms and hers alone, and it’s claws out if you try to push her boundaries.

Actually catching her wasn’t really something Billy thought he’d be able to do, so he didn’t have a plan now that that had happened. He pets down her back, feeling every last one of her vertebrae as he does so, and says absently, “What are we gonna do with you now, pretty kitty.”

And that gives him an idea, as to where he could take her far far away from his dad, and that's Steve’s house all the way over in Loch Nora. A pretty kitty for his pretty boy.

He picks her up off his chest so he can sit up without her running away, her claws digging into his shoulder protected only by a tank top thin enough that she digs right into his skin. But even though she’s holding on for dear life, she’s not fighting him, so that’s a good sign.

He stands up with one hand, the other still supporting the cat, and he gets to work on getting her out of here before Neil can get home from work and throw a wrench in his plan.

Max had bought and borrowed from Dustin all kinds of food and toys and beds for the spoiled porch cat, which was part of the reason why Neil was so bothered by her so much in the first place, so he carries her inside and calls for Max to help him get all that stuff together so he can take her to Steve.

They get it all in a box that Max carries to the car for him. Before he gets in, the cat now standing on his shoulders, she asks, “Where are you taking her?”

“A friend.” He answers simply, and Max scrunches her nose, asking, “Why?”

“Neil’s allergic, asked me to do something about her leavin’ her dander everywhere.” He lies and, judging from the look on her face, Max knows it’s not true, but doesn’t really want the full story anyways.

The entire time in the car, the cat climbs on the back seats screaming her little head off, and Billy’s not sure if she’s afraid or if getting her out of the elements just unlocked some part of her personality he had yet to see. Either way, he feels ridiculous telling her every two seconds, “Okay, I get it.” and “Stop complaining, I’m taking you somewhere nice.”

When he gets to Steve’s, he leaves his car running with the cat still inside, just in case Steve were to hate the idea of having a pet and he had to take her somewhere else. He hopes not, doesn’t know where else he’d take her in that case except maybe Tommy’s, but they let their cats outside anyways, defeating the purpose.

He knocks on the door, partially forgetting how much of a mess he is after chasing her until Steve opens the door, his wide eyes as he reaches and grabs one of his hands, all scabbed over with itchy scratches. “What happened, Bill?”

“It’s nothin’ bad this time, I was catchin’ a cat.”

Steve narrows his eyes, not believing his cover because of the countless other bruises and cuts he’d shown up at his door with, and as many lies as he’d tried to cover them up with, “A cat?”

“Yep. Momma kitty was living in our backyard, and Neil wasn’t too happy ‘bout it.”

“Well? Did you catch her?”

“Mhm, she’s out in my car right now.”

His tone switches, having apparently grilled Billy enough to believe him, “And you brought her to me?”

“Is that okay?”

“Yes! I’ve never had a cat! Go get her!”

The second he opens the car door the cat jumps out and he catches her, swinging her up to hold her on his shoulders again, and this time, she doesn’t even claw at him.

Steve gasps all dramatically when he sees her and holds his arms out for Billy to her over to him. He pretends it doesn’t bother him when she cuddles right up under Steve’s chin, purring like he’d never heard her as if she wasn’t being a little hellion to him this morning.“What’s this little ladies’ name?”

Billy shrugs, “Didn’t give her one yet. Figured if I was dumping her on you you might as well get to pick it.”

“What’s your name sweet girl?” Steve coos at her, scratching he between her ears, “How about… Peaches!”

“Peaches? Stevie, that’s a little boring, don’t you think?”

“Nope!” He holds her up to his face and rubs their noses together, “Is your name Peaches, pretty kitty?”

The little shit meows, and Steve looks at him all smug like it means anything. Billy chuckles, and gives in, Steve always knows how to bend his will, “Alright, alright, Peaches it is.”

He reaches out to pet Peaches and she swats at him, making Steve bite the inside of his cheek to hold back a laugh, and Billy’s wondering if he made a mistake bringing her here.

A pretty kitty for his pretty boy, but she turned out to be a spoiled little princess to the King.

[yelenaisace]

MCU/Marvel Characters Tag Game

thankyou for the tag <33 @meidui

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most):

Tony duhhh. I'm not even kidding when I say i can legitimately write an essay on how much I love him <3 + he's the one that got me into MCU/Marvel in general. He's such a complex character and the things that really made me admire him the most are when he conquers his personal demons. One of the things that I love about him the most is that he just tries to be good, and there's just something so inherently human about it that you don't really see in other popular superheroes. And while his actions/decisions may sometimes be vilified by people, I've always empathised with what he does because I (and Steve LOL, see that Captain America/Iron Man Annual (2021) Issue #2) feel that his heart has always been in the right place. I can go on and on about him, but I once saw someone say this about Tony (especially 616!Tony i.e.) is that while all superheroes are willing to risk their lives for a noble purpose, Tony's willing to sell his soul.

(I don't want to flood people's dashboard so)

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):

Yelena <33 honestly I started liking her before Black Widow came out just on the basis that she's canonically asexual in 616 + I saw that Florence Pugh was gonna play her in MCU. And hello??? A badass Russian assassin who can kill people with her bare hands and has the same sexuality as me?? Listen, there's not a lot of asexual characters out there okay, and when they are, they're not exactly in a media that I would want to watch (I literally cannot force myself to watch something just on that basis alone so). While watching Black Widow, I was just so smitten by her!! Look at her, she's so cute!! A squishy lil baby that i wanna cuddle with and give kisses all over her face <33

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave):

Kate!! Idk, is she underrated? I don't venture out much bc I like being in this stevetony fandom bubble so idk if she is or not <3 but cmon, look at her and how can you not ADORE her?? she has a good sense of humour, she just wants to do her best in helping the people around her and she's so relatable LOLOLOL bc if I were to ever meet Tony (yes ik he's not real, im not actl insane guys even though I've said I am 100000 times), I would NOT be cool also and would just follow him around the same way she did with Clint

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) :

DUM-E LOLOLOLOL!! BRUH I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO SCREAMED WHEN I SAW HIM IN SPIDER-MAN NO WAY HOME OKAY?? You guys can all judge me if you want but I do not care! I have never, ever been happier!!!

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave):

Wanda. She IS controversial (in MCU) and I get it because of reasons that I wouldn't be able to explain as clearly as someone else (im incoherent 99% of the time). I'd love to be able to say that I have a strong moral compass that points North all the time to be able to not like her, but I can't help but do. I didn't like her before WandaVision, however, I do blame the writers for that and wished they didn't write her MCU origins the way they did!!! UGH!!! But yeah, the part that made me start liking her in Wandavision was that last episode where the townspeople were confronting her for her actions and she was just crying because she finally realised that her actions are hurting people. And I guess im just excited to see where her character arc is going to go, and I'm fine if MCU wants to make it a redemption arc or a corruption arc because (to me) she's complex and interesting enough for it.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason):

Tony, of course, horse plinko should always be your blorbo <333 i just love seeing my favourite characters (in whatever fandom) be tormented <333 you think Marvel has tortured him enough? Yeah, well I like to see fic writers hurt him 10x worse bc he suffers beautifully okay? Have u seen those panels of 616!Tony just full-on crying/bleeding/bruised (with a full-on existential crisis to boot) and mcu!tony with the bruises on his face and tears in his eyes??

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell):

Howard Stark (616!Howard Stark especially), must i elaborate?? lol.

tagging: @thahiree @avengersprotectionsquad @alwaysash13 @dodqerevans and anyone who wants to do it (you can choose the fandom u want to talk about, it doesn't have to be mcu/marvel!)

It's fun reading people's thoughts on characters LOLOL

[starredfishing]

starry tell us your three houses blorbos. or maybe your fates blorbos if you want. or both

LHDGHDSLFKJFjf ill do both if i can

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most):

fe3h: CLAUDE FERDINAND AND DEDUE <333333 dimitri as well <3

fates: KADEN....husband!!!!!! <3 or azura i just adore her design and tried to learn both versions of her dance (i like her jpn voice MUCH better for singing esp for the light dance!)

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

fe3h: ashe ignatz cyril and bernie 🥺😭 theyre so fucking cute...

fates: literally any of the kid characters shigure and kanna especially sobs...

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

fe3h: putting dedue here too bc he needs more attention along w petra and caspar

fates: idk which characters r underappreciated but like reina and rinkah are my queens!!!

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

fe3h: does the gatekeeper count DLSKGSLKDG actually i think glenn. he never appears on screen but his impact is so powerful just by name alone. im studying him under a microscope

fates: i had to google the npcs bc i remember being unreasonably attracted to one of them and im right it was the adventurer and sorcerer

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

fe3h: SYLVAIN!!!!!!!!! manwhore of my HEART.

fates: YOU CAN JUDGE ME ALL U WANT IM OBSESSED W ZERO.....bisexual KING melanin ICON.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

fe3h: IM PLINKO-ING HUBERT AND FELIX. theyre so mean THEYRE SO MEANNN!!!! (affectionate)

fates: idk xander?? i only played birthright but i think id gently plinko both sibling lines (except the baby girls)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

fe3h: thales for sure. what the fuck is wrong w u!!!!!! maybe even nemesis and maybe even rhea.

fates: ganon. fuck you man.

silly little rabbit (character(s) im attracted to but like in a you're my silly little rabbit kinda way)

added this category bc i need it

fe3h: sylvain and ferdinand again but honestly most of the male characters r my silly little rabbits

fates: HINATA SUBAKI AND INIGO <3 mansplain manwhore manipulate!!!!!!

[khaleesiofalicante]

MAGNUS WEEK - CAT DAD

Originally written in honour of Magnus’ birthday but edited/reposted for Magnus Week :)

“Don’t!” Magnus warned.

He felt a lick on his foot and Magnus suppressed a giggle. He wasn’t going to encourage this behaviour.

“I told you I am working!” Magnus whined. “Give me five, please. Just one more email. Ragnor is waiting.”

He focused on the screen in front of him and felt the quick little lick on his neck.

“You really must stop being so needy,” Magnus chastised, a little impatient. “All this attention seeking is starting to get a little concerning.”

Suddenly all the licking and teasing stopped.

Magnus turned around. Nothing.

He looked under his chair. Nope.

“Chairman?” He called out. “Chairman Meow?”

The quietness that followed made Magnus shiver. He bolted up from his chair and ran towards the balcony, which he usually kept open in the morning to let the breeze in.

“Babe!” He called out from the balcony. “My little ball of snow!! I am sorry I shouted at you.”

Chairman, who usually enjoyed playing hide seek, did not meow back in response. Magnus was really starting to get worried.

“Come back to me, my precious,” Magnus whined. “I’ll let you lick me all you want.”

Someone coughed. Very loudly.

“Excuse me?”

Magnus turned around sharply to find an utterly gorgeous human specimen standing merely a couple of feet away from him on the other side of the balcony. The man blinked at him, and his eyes traveled further down. Magnus felt a blush rising in his neck and felt ticklish all over.

Tickles!

“My cat,” Magnus spluttered. “He is missing.”

Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome bent down (and what a view by the way) and picked up something small in this hand, like a ball of cotton.

“Baby!” Magnus all but screamed. “Come here!”

“He climbed over the fence,” the man pointed out. “Brave little fella.”

“I don’t know how to thank you,” Magnus gushed, maybe a little too much. “You saved him!”

“I didn’t do much,” the man blushed a little and Magnus' heart leaped over the balcony. “I was unpacking my things and I heard him.”

“Oh,” Magnus said. “You are the new guy who is moving into 21C!. Hell of a first impression by the way.”

The man blushed again and Magnus decided he should do everything in his power to make him do it more often.

Chairman, who apparently left out of the conversation, growled loudly. But of course, it only came out as the most adorable meow.

“Come to papa, cotton ball,” Magnus held out his hand for the white tabby and carefully took Chairman from his new neighbour.

“Magnus,” he introduced himself.

“His name is Magnus?” The other man chuckled. “Cute.”

“Actually, that’s my name,” Magnus pointed out. “Is it still cute?”

The man blushed again. Yay!

“What’s his name?” The man asked. “Don’t tell me it’s actually cotton ball.”

Magnus bit his lip.

Raphael had once told him that Chairman’s name was too dorky. Magnus did not want to come across as a dork. The other man had made an excellent first impression. Magnus was not going to  come across as a neighbour who is horrible at choosing pet names. Not today!

“His name is Raphael,” Magnus said casually as possible. “I take pet names very seriously, you see.”

Chairman squinted at him then and gave him a traitorous look.

All was fair in love and war - and meet cutes. Chairman would understand one day.

“Nice to meet you, Magnus,” the man smiled and Magnus wanted to break into a Disney song. “And hello, Raphael! I’m Alec!”

There was another meow then. But not the soft sound Magnus was familiar with, but rather a loud and exasperated one.

The neighbour bent down again (and once more Magnus couldn’t help but sigh inwardly at that perfect view) and picked up an a slightly bigger orange tabby.

“Awww,” Magnus cooed. “Who is this?”

“Uh,” the man blinked. “This is…Jace.”

What a pretentious name, Magnus thought but decided not to pass any judgement at this stage of their relationship.

And yes, there was going to be a relationship here, goddamnit!

“Welcome to Brooklyn, Jace!” Magnus waved at the cat. “And you too, Alexander.”

Another blush.

This was going so well.

“Are you from New York?” Magnus asked, because he didn’t want to go back inside just yet. Fuck that email. Ragnor can wait. “You do sound like you are.”

“I am,” Alec replied. “I moved from Manhattan!”

“Well, I must say you have gotten yourself an excellent place,” Magnus grinned. “I heard the neighbours are nice and friendly. And apparently easy on the eyes too.”

More blushing. Magnus was positively in love.

“Yay!” Alec threw up the cat in mock celebration and the little creature meowed in annoyance. “Hush, you. Magnus seems nice. He won’t be like Sebastian.”

“Is Sebastian your….” Magnus pretended to be aloof although he was desperate for more information.

“My ex-neighbour,” Alec grimaced. “Real piece of work. He lied to me about his family and his job and his…You know what? It doesn’t matter. He was just a pathetic liar. I am glad the new neighbours are nice and friendly…and easy on the eyes.”

Alec was genuinely smiling at him and Magnus felt horrified. This poor man had been lied to by his old neighbour and Magnus had started their relationship (yes, it is happening okay!!) off with a lie.

“I’m so sorry,” Magnus said.

“Oh, that’s okay,” Alec waved him off. “I don’t talk to him anymore and I-”

“No, it’s not about that, although he sucks big time and I am sorry about that too,” Magnus said quickly. “I’m actually sorry because I kinda lied to you.”

Alec stiffened. “You did?”

“My cat’s name is not Raphael,” Magnus pointed at the cat. “Raphael is actually my friend. A super judgemental friend, by the way.”

“Why did you lie?” Alec asked, as his body relaxed a little.

“Because Raphael told me my cat’s name is ridiculous and I didn’t want you to judge me or think I am some weirdo and then our relationship….as neighbours will be ruined.”

Alec took all of that in for a moment and then smiled.

“What’s the little one’s real name?”

“Chairman Meow,” Magnus said quietly.

Alec, who he thought would roll his eyes, grinned brilliantly.

“My cat’s name is not Jace,” Alec lifted the orange tabby. “Jace is actually my brother. A super pretentious brother, by the way.”

Magnus smiled back. “What’s this one's real name then?”

“Chairman Meow,” Alec lifted his cat a little higher. “I’d like you to meet Captain Cutebutt.”

“Oh my god, I love it!” Magnus almost yelled.

“I’m glad,” Alec looked actually relieved. “I thought you didn’t like dorky shit - like my brother.”

“I love dorky shit!” Magnus actually did yell this time.

Alec laughed at that, with his entire face. Magnus reminded himself to google how many cats were too many cats to adopt as a couple.

“Now that everyone has properly met every one,” Magnus grinned and pointed at his apartment. “Why don’t you get that cute butt in here so we can have a cup of coffee?”

Alec blushed furiously at that. “Are you talking about me or my cat?”

“Yes,” Magnus winked and walked back in with Chairman.

[potatoobsessed999]

who are your blorbos etc. for the mirkwood campaign? you can do npcs only if you don't want to judge our characters lol

Yee thank you Jaz!!

Mirkwood Campaign NPCs

(there are so many of them, aaaaaaa)

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Gotta go with Maglor here, don't I scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Legolas the Ray of Sunshine scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Amaleoda my beloved!! Granted she's only underappreciated in that she hasn't been around to be appreciated, because you guys haven't been in Black Tarn Hall lately, but. Anyway. I love her. glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): Hecking. what's his name. (excuse me while I look this up) ODERIC! I may not be able to remember his name but I love him! Perfect little third-age Turin impersonator! poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): I... think this has to be Oderic again? He fits the bill for a meow meow, and I can't really think of anyone else who does. horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Ah, but is this role not necessarily filled by the player characters? insert menacing smile eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): uhhhhh Gibbet King

[tokoyamisstuff]

Betrothed Ch. 10 - Illumi Zoldyck x Reader

Chapter 10: Bewilderment

Summary: What is Illumi doing while you are searching for him?

Warnings: Violence, murder, angst.

Words: ~1900

A/N: Sorry for taking so long guys, I recently have little time left to write.

Story Masterlist

“No one is more dangerous than the insane which is calm all the time: he is like a steel bridge without flexibility, and the order of his life is rigid and brittle.  A minor change can cause the functioning madman to collapse.”

There was no time to grieve.

After you had put an end to the puppet that took after your beloved husband, Okogame revealed that he in fact had cloned the entire Phantom Troupe as well.

Gladly, and much to your surprise, the spiders cleaned their own mess and assisted you and your friends in getting rid of the remaining puppets.

And ultimatively, Pretz was the one to put an end to her brother’s wrongdoings, ending both of their suffering as well.

Their deaths left you with a bitter aftertaste: Was there really no other way to end one’s madness? There had to be another way!

Kurapika had run out of strenght, which was only fortunate since him collapsing was the only thing keeping him from recklessly challenging the spiders.

So all of you stood in front of the burning chapel, only able to watch as Okogame’s sins were cleansed through the fire.

What would it take to free Illumi from the curse that was his own mind?

“Not so fast” you gnarled while your friends were still distracted by the tragic view. “Hisoka. We need to talk.”

The mage was already about to leave, yet acting all innocent. “Oh? Who do we got here? The happy bride...”

“Don’t play stupid.” Trying to act intimidating, you built yourself up in front of the much taller man. "You’re what comes closest to being a friend for him, so you must know where he is. Tell me!”

“It’s so long since we’ve first met at the Hunter Exam...” Hisoka chuckled quite amused, licking the blood from one of his playing cards. “I didn’t even know you had relationship problems.”

“Big understatement.” Hisoka’s carefree manner had gotten to you vfrom the very first moment, you had to admit. He almost managed to make you crack a smile.

“You seem to have gotten quite the control over your husband, so I thought our next meeting would be under...different circumstances. Maybe getting a drink together or even murder someone.”

“I don’t have time for your bullshit.” His eyes widened in pleasant surprise, a strangled moan escaping his throat as your knife threatened his neck. “Where. Is. He?!?”

“Oh, my...you’ve sure grown strong. Is that Illumi’s influence?”

“Yes. It is” you smiled confidently, putting the blade down again. “We may fight one day, but this is not the time.”

“Promise?” Hisoka was almost aroused at your words, imagining you and Illumi both challenging him at the same time.

“Whatever.”

“Well...” he waved the card in the air, putting it to his lips as if he was in deep thought. “He didn’t contact me, but word spreads fast. There’s a rumor about a mass murderer in Yorknew City. His only targets are assassins and other criminals. Isn’t that a coincidence?”

Your eyes immediately widened, heart painfully hammering against your chest as you imagined that he escaped his family, yet kept on taking lives.

“Lumi...”

At the same time, on the other side of the ocean, Illumi was wandering a dark alley in the poor district of Yorknew City.

Usually, he wasn’t able to dream in years, or at least it was insignitifant enough to instantly forget about it - yet ever since he had left you and his home, nightmares occured daily: 

Most of the time it were especially cruel things he did on his missions, or murders he performed solely out of his own, twisted desire. Sometimes it were flashbacks about his childhood, which he actually thought to have forgotten about a long time ago.

It all re-emerged now, robbing his sleep - the last thing to keep together the fraction of his sanity.

More than often, he’d dream about you too, of course.

But you’d always only be running away from him, deeply sfrightened. And every time he reached you, without having the intention, his blood-stained hands ended your life as well, leaving him to scream and cry for his precious Y/N.

How were you doing these days, he wondered?

His conscience was calling out to him ever since he had abandoned and left you alone with his family. This wasn’t like him to act without thinking things through.

But he did, and he won’t be able to change the consequences.

“Y/N is strong. Any my family doesn’t have any use for them. They’ll be okay...”

Suddenly, a noise drang to Illumi’s sharpened senses: A weak voice, barely audible, pleading for anyone to hear.

Illumi’s feet moved on their own - maybe because of curiosity, but who knows. And only a few blocks away he found the surce of the voice: It was a stray cat, way smaller than the usual ones, due to malnutrition.

Your husband was merely a bystander, watching a man yelling at the animal that of course couldn’t respond. How odd.

“Fucking thing!” the man balled his fists, swinging them in the air. “Hey! You! Whaddaya looking at? That your cat?”

“No” was Illumi’s plain answer as he stepped into the dim street light, actually not wanting to bother himself with the situation.

“It better not be. Stole my fish at the market, and ruined the others with it’s dirty paws!”

Just when the man prepared to kick the poor animal with his boots, his leg seemed to have magically disappeared midair.

Before the amputated leg hit the ground, the merchant had already collapsed, screaming in agony as he slowly but surely bled to death.

“Here” Illumi spoke casually as he threw a piece of fabric towards the man. He always pitied his victims, at least a little bit. “Try binding off the stump to stop the bleeding. Maybe you’ll make it until an ambulance arrives.”

Already prepared to attend more important matters again, he turned around - but then he heared another, weak meow close behind.

The tiny cat couldn’t even hold itself on it’s feet, yet tried everything to follow your husband’s firm steps. It bit the fabric on his legs ever so slightly, trying to keep him from leaving so fast.

Letting out a small noise of surprise, Illumi crouched down the the cat’s heigh, eyeing it quie suspecting.

Because usually, animals were smarter than that. They had a natural instinct when it came to aura, so it was no wonder that Illumi’s constant hostility and bloodlust always drove them off - even though he actually was really fond of them.

They were easier to deal with than most humans, he thought.

The kitten was bleeding, and his left ear was slightly bitten off by another animal.

Even though it was quite the depressing view, this wouldn’t revoke any emotion inside of your husband. He had seen and did worse, and he had no affiliation with that thing.

“What would Y/N do?”

He remembered how you’d always bring home injured animals, talking about responsibility and how every life was precious somehow. That doing good deeds could make one happy without having an actual advantage from it.

To be honest, he thought it to be kind of hypocritical considering you were a goddamn assassin, but whatever.

Who was he to judge anyone’s morality anyway?

And the pet’s behaviour somehow intrigued him, so he carefully picked it up as he bid the merchant one last look.

“Oh. He died already.”

The Zoldyck family possessed safehouses all over the world, and in big cities like Yorknew City was one, several at once.

Only a few, chosen people knew about those certain locations - and since his family never really seemed to care for him anyway, he knew they wouldn’t be searching for him. And even if they wanted to find him, there was no clue where an erratic man like himself could’ve gone to, so they would take a while.

So it would be fine to use them until he had cleansed the city from all filth before he’d travel to another - even though that would take quite a while.

“Here” he mumbled, still quite unaffected by the animal’s condition as he put it down on the small sleeping cot.

There wasn’t anything else to do right now, so he could save that thing, he thought.

Trying hard to remember how you’d always patch him up, Ilumi got the first-aid kit out of the shelf and gathered a bowl of water. Only when he didn’t find anything to nurture the cat he realized that he himself hasn’t eaten in days.

“Y/N would be furious..” he thought, almost smiling while recalling how you’d always scold him for not taking care of himself enough. “Maybe I should buy some groceries.”

The cat was unusual still, considering hurt animals are more than often very defensive and on high alert. Yet that one let Illumi touch it all he wanted, even purring as he unconsciously began to pet it’s dirty but soft fur.

It was almost heartwarming to him, giving him a slight impression about what you liked so damn much about helping those weaker than yourself.

Yeah, animals were way easier to deal with.

They had no difficult emotions or morals, neither did they want you to understand them. All that was important was their natural needs, and shall you fullfill them, they’d get attached to you.

But humans were different.

Asides from his work, Illumi had spent a of his time and concentration on you and you alone. He had given you food and shelter, also basically drowning you in gifts and luxurity. And he would’ve died for your protection.

Of course it had also been his duty that you’d become a perfect assassin, yet he went very easy on you during training. In wild contrast to everything he had experienced himself, his touch was always tender and full of care.

Yes, he would’ve met every single one of your desires, and yet you were unfullfilled.

Animals seeked freedom. They don’t like being locked in cages.

Was that it?

Were you feeling the same after being locked away for such a long time, like some sort of trophy?

He just now realized that you had always listened to him: His feelings, his past, his commands...but did he ever do the same for you?

Before, just like Hisoka, Illumi was a man of the present: He would’ve never looked back. The past wasn’t worth remembering, even faces of the people he killed vanishing from his inner eye just barely after he finished them off.

And the future? He’d never thought of that.

Illumi Zoldyck was merely a tool of darkness, working with a ruthless efficiency to ensure his place in the family.

He was numb and served no other purpose...right?

But now he had an own goal: Cleanse the world from the profession of those filthy assassins - so no one would’ve to suffer as you or his siblings did.

“Oh.”

Your husband pulled his hand away after the cat softly dug it’s teeth inside of his index finger. He probably accidentally hurt it. “Sorry.”

At least he had someone to talk to, now. You knew best just how often he would rant to himself or think out loudly - and he had to remember how you told him that only very lonely people would do that, because no one has ever listened to them.

“I always told Kill he doesn’t have the qualification to make friends, but in the end it was only me...”

Illumi didn’t even bother washing the blood from today’s work from his hands, falling on the bed with his back first and staring to the bare ceiling with a broken smile.

“Moreso...I don’t deserve to be loved. I really am the worst.”

_____

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Feedback is always appreciated!

[transfenris-truther]

da2 blorbos

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): It's Fenris. I simply love him. No notes.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) I'm tempted to just answer Fenris again. But the character who I most want to protect is probably Merrill. She deserves the world and so many people misunderstand her (including myself early on) Give her the mirror tools!

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) Okay, I feel like this is another one where the Fandom at large is wrong and the people I interact with are right. Carver is a gem. Treat him with respect and you'll get a respect from him that feels so earned and transformative. He's a good person and a good brother. He's just prickly.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) SEAMUS. If you think about it, he's extremely cool and one of the least bigoted dragon age characters. He's smart, cute, probably gay and he's got this great Viscount's son and political rebel thing going. He's also one of the few people who treat the Qunari like a legitimate and respectable culture.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) Another kinda obvious one for me. Varania. She is interesting and not evil. Her motivations are complicated and the Fandom honestly judges her way too harshly for a decision they've never heard her side of.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) Did I say Cullen already? It's Cullen again. Especially in this game. What a bootlicker.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) Grand Cleric Elthina. Girl, take your useless centrist handwringing and shove it. You are not being helpful. Make a choice! Try to help people! Grow a spine!

[scenariosbutmakeitgay]

I would like to request, if possible, Saeran(Good/Normal Ending one) and 707 with MC that has a quite similar personality to 707 but she is not tsundere like him aka more straightforward about her feelings etc? Thank you! :3

Saeran

he'd be absolutely done when hanging out with you and his brother

because you and Seven would probably become besties

tormenting poor Saeran with pranks on daily basics? absolutely

your jokes and stupid puns make his day, but he'll never admit it

you are the first person he comes to when he's sad or upset, because you always know how to cheer him up

Saeran has troubles with expressing his feelings, but he's working on it, so your straightforwardness is really helpful for him

he loves spending time with you and Seven, because you two are the most powerful clown duo like?? who could stay grumpy with you???

after some time Saeran would start cracking jokes with you and Saeyoung

with no one elso though, that's some exclusive content

we stan our baby Saeran getting out of his shell

it takes a lot of effort for him to learn how to be vulnerable, but he'll try his best

Saeran loves how he can talk to you about everything, because he knows you won't judge him

cinnamon roll? yes

needing cuddles? absolutely

Saeran claims to be a knife, but we all know he's a little spoon

if you wanna make his brain stop circulating try teasing him in public, even with a joking manner

poor bby doesn't know what to do

he gets more and more affectionate with time

please love him

707

GOLDEN DUO AND DON'T ARGUE WITH THAT

pranking everyone

Yoosung is low-key scared of you sometimes, because you two are eccentric enough on your own, but when you're together---

if something gets on fire, then it's usually because of you and Seven

“hey, MC, wanna see what happens when we microwave that?”

Jaehee refuses to hang out with you and Seven if there's no fire extinguisher around

Jumin has to make sure Elizabeth 3rd is far away from both of you

Zen is annoyed, because you make Seven's obsession with cats even worse

and then there's Saeran who just watches shit go down

basically pure chaotic energy

also, Seven loves how you don't take his crap when he starts acting like a tsundere

being straightforward makes everything ten times easier, believe me

cosplaying together? yes please

PRANK WARS (unsafe for children, so keep Yoosung away from them)

using lots of inside jokes to confuse everyone? hell yeah

Seven feels like he found his soulmate

late night date idea: watching videos with cats when cuddling

Seven likes spooning and being spooned, it doesn't really make much difference for him

he would probably meow for no reason in your ear when you least expect it

meow back at him and he'll marry you

[a-totally-creative-username]

Are you kitten me?

Patton finds a tiny, black kitten in an alleyway during a rainstorm. He just can’t let that poor thing suffer and ends up taking it home. His roommates aren’t really happy about the new, temporary, addition towards the household, even if Patton’s allergies have yet to act up and they all start to fall in love with it.

Words: 2127

Ships: None

Patton is in the middle of walking home from work when he hears it. A small, sad noise that he manages to just about hear over the pouring rain. He immediately stops and listens for it to come again. He waits for a few seconds and is just about to give up and write it up to his imagination when he hears it again. He locates the noise quickly and starts running towards that direction without hesitation.

Once arrived, in a very small and dirty alley way, he looks around wildly. It doesn’t take him long to find the source of the sound. A small, adorable, very wet and sad looking kitten that is trying to hide from the rain under a nearly soaked through cardboard box.

Patton feels his heart melt while observing the tiny cat. It doesn’t seem to have noticed him yet as it is too pre occupied from trying to stay dry. It doesn’t succeed and soon the cardboard is soaked through and leaves the cat in a wet puddle.

Patton just can’t watch another second of those sounds and takes off his jacket, holds it over his head and starts nearing the cat. As soon as it notices him it starts trying to look intimidating and hissing at him.

It accomplishes nothing except make Patton fall even more in love with it. Mentally he is already going through an adoption and naming process for his new friend when he finally starts talking to it.

“Hey there kitty! Sorry to scare you like this but you seemed for me a little wet on your luck! Would you let me dry you up a little and help you get back onto your feet?”

The kitty stares at him for a few seconds as if trying to figure out how genuine he is before meowing loudly and slowly walking towards him and underneath the dry jacket.

Patton is just star stuck over the fact that he managed to get this cat to come with him and can’t even attempt to stop smiling as he takes the kitten, that he calls Anx according to it’s collar (well actually Anxiety but he refuses to call this baby a disorder), towards his home. The fact that Anx started cuddling and rubbing at him almost immediately doesn’t help his growing love towards it.

Now he can do nothing but hope that his roommates won’t mind a new addition!

--------------------------

Alright, so they did mind the new addition a little bit. Or maybe more than a little bit. Patton doesn’t even get their issue! Anx is adorable and didn’t do anything but be the cutest cat he ever met anyway! He, Logan explained that it is a male cat, flipping fell asleep in the middle of the argument and started softly snoring into Roman’s coffee!

Even Logan had to take a second to regain himself from this beautiful sight before being able to argue against them again. Roman had issues with the situation but it was cute! He kept claiming that the cat had actually drunk from his mug until he noticed that he was caught and acted as if he fell asleep, but that’s just ridiculous!

There is no real reason to not allow his new friend to stay! Patton agreed to cover the costs, his allergies doesn’t seem to react towards Anx (and isn’t that just a sign from the universe to keep the little puffball?!) and they have more than enough space left in their apartment for the new roommate.

In the end it’s Patton’s and Anx’s combined puppy dog eyes and adorableness that gets them the win.

--------------------------

It’s been three days. Three days off looking after Patton’s new companion that he brought surprisingly into their lives and that he, as the most mature person, had to look after for that same amount of time.

Logan, surprisingly, doesn’t dislike the cat. Anx is an interesting and thoughtful addiction to their lives. Yes, he meows loudly when ignored and in need of attention, a way out of the apartment or food, but otherwise he remains mostly quiet and generally just seems to hover in the general direction of whomever he feels in need of attention of.

He does get closer and sometimes tries to climb into a person’s lap, but leaves as soon as he gets a negative reaction as if he could understand them. At least, that is the normal reaction towards avoidance of his affections.

His momentary actions stand in direct contrast towards his past behavior and are nearly enough to get Logan to reevaluate his results. Because the cat is laying right on top of his laptop and his research papers.

Logan left for exactly twelve minutes and thirty-nine seconds to help Patton with a spider related issue before coming back into his room. Before he left, he made sure that everything was at its place on top of his desk. Now that he returned the objects still remain in place, but with the addition of a cat on top of it.

He and Anx stare at each other for several minutes before he breaks it off and moves towards the cat. He tries to get his laptop out from underneath Anx but only gets a hiss in response as well as a half-hearted swipe for his fingers. Curious. Anx had yet to show signs of aggression towards anyone until this moment.

They continue this game for a few more minutes before Logan starts to fell his exhaustion, that naturally comes after over sixty hours of being awake. He can’t seem to stifle a yawn that Anx seems to notice, if his narrowed eyes are anything to go by. He is just about to try working again when he finds himself in his bed and underneath Anx who is curling up on top of him.

His attempts to free himself only earn him a few hisses as well as slight claw marks in warning. Well, it seems like he will remain there for a while. He reaches over and manages to grab his astronomy book. Might as well read a little bit to pass the time. Might as well read aloud for Anx, he has responded positively in the past after all.

Ten minutes later, they are both fast asleep.

--------------------------

“Nothing better to start the day than a nice coffee and a new play to memorize- what the?! You! Patton, come and get your hell beast!”

“What’s the problem Ro? Awww, Anx is sleeping on your script! How adorable! Let me get my camera, this is one for the scrapbook!”

“NO! This is absolutely NOT adorable! You might as well name him Cerberus because I’m as likely to get my script back before he finishes napping as the undead are to escape hades and walk the earth again!”

“Well now you are exaggerating. If you really wanted to you could just lift him up and grab your little script, kiddo. He weighs less than a sack of flour!”

“It doesn’t matter what he weighs as long as he has those daggers that you dare call claws! If he really wanted to he could kill all of us easily, but you would probably call even that cute and let him do as he pleases!”

“Well in that case you should really be clawful around him! At least he only wants that script and not you!”

--------------------------

Roman looks carefully around the apartment. He searched through every room that wasn’t locked in search of his roommates. They of course said that they both would be occupied until well after noon and not back in the shared apartment until dark but one could never be too careful.

After finding no one but the little furball in the living room Roman relaxes and goes into the kitchen to make himself his special sandwich.

He knows of course that neither of his roommates would say anything against him eating his world-famous double meat loathe sandwich, except for Logans remarks that he was going against his died, but they really didn’t need to know about that. So what I he cheated with his died? It’s his body! He can do as he wants!

He sits in the living room and is just about to bite into the deliciousness that he created when the damn cat appears in front of him to stare into his soul and judge his every action like he always does! Or maybe he just wants to beg for meat...

They engage in a fierce staring contest for a few endless seconds before he gives in and sacrifices a few precious scraps.

“Fine, but only this once! It’s not like I like you or anything! This is only so you don’t rat me out to Patton you cat in the hat, understood?!” He stares him into the eyes until he feels judged enough that he feels the need to add something, “Alright, it is also a thank you for preventing me from reading that script in time for auditions. I would NOT have wanted to play that role! I do not know how you knew that the play was that homophobic but you did.”

They fall into a comfortable silence afterwards were they both enjoy their meal until there is nothing left and they can do nothing but lean back and rest. Anx comes to curl up on his lap and he is so satisfied that he completely forgets his dislike for his hairy roommate and starts to scratch him.

Soon he starts pouring his soul out to the little devil and feels the relief from unpacking all his problems onto a safe source.

--------------------------

They are all in the apartment on a lazy Saturday when they hear the knock on the front door. Patton and Logan don’t move from their position with Anx, who is lying on Patton’s lap and getting scratches and attentions from them both, so Roman goes.

He opens the door to a tall, lean man that is dressed as if he just stepped out of a eighteenth century drama in black and yellow. He is just about to ask his intentions when the man begins talking.

“I am incredibly sorry for my intrusion upon your peaceful day off, but I fear you have something that belongs to me.” He doesn’t sound sorry at all and Roman is just about to ask what he means when the man nudges him aside with his shoulder to get inside of his apartment and continues talking, “Or rather, someone.”

He doesn’t stop until he is in front of a very confused Patton with a now hissing Anx underneath his hoodie. The stranger kneels down in front of them and begins talking to the cat of all people.

“I totally don’t know why you are angry with me” a hiss, he pauses and begins nodding knowingly, “You are right, lies have no place here at the moment. My apologies.” Roman and Logan start exchanging looks over the weirdo talking to their cat, Patton continues watching the conversation interested, while Anx comes out of his hiding place enough to stare at the man.

“I am sorry for what happened, I shouldn’t have yelled at you over something so insignificant and I really shouldn’t have sent you out into the pouring rain. You deserve better than that. I overreacted and shouldn’t have let my bad mood out on you.” An indignant meow is to hear from the cat that is now sitting on Patton’s knees. The man just nods as if contemplating the answer.

“Yes, that too. I promise to not do so again and treat you as more of an equal from now on. I already talked with the landlord and you will be written into the lease for the apartment.” The stranger and Anx stare at each other before the former deflates.

“Please come back, these past few weeks have been truly horrendous without you. I am not sure how long I could stand to keep this up. I miss you.” That, surprisingly, seems to do the trick as Anx looks up at Patton and upon receiving a nod, climbs into the stranger’s hat that had been laid out for him to be escorted out of the apartment without further notice.

What?

--------------------------

It is two weeks later that Patton sees the stranger again, followed by a shorter, dark haired man with a familiar collar around his neck.

He catches his gazes and starts smiling and waving at him. The man seems surprised for a moment before starting a shy smile of his own and waving back.

Patton is just happy to know that Anx is happy and healthy. Maybe they will meet again someday in human form and become friends again.

[heyyyharry]

Chapter 10: Darlings

(from the Flatmate Trilogy: Two Hearts, One Home)

…in which Harry is excited but Y/N is worried.

Word count: 4.4k

Chapter 9: Three’s A Crowd - Harry learns a big lesson, and Y/N cannot tolerate his assistant.

Wattpad link

A/N: Please enjoy and spam my inbox. - Allie.

.

.

.

Y/N was pregnant.

The doctor had confirmed it. A pregnancy test stick had confirmed it. The morning sickness had confirmed it. So it was official. She was now positively pregnant.

Before all of this, she had been devastated and almost depressed thinking she and Harry might not have children of their own. Now that the universe had given them one, she fell into a state where she was constantly afraid and anxious. She'd blame it on the hormones and the way her body was changing. The baby was probably not even...a baby yet, and she had already come up with a bunch of different scenarios where she turned out to be an awful parent. It was not until now that she realized how strong her sister had been for bringing up baby Eleanor on her own. Y/N was lucky to have a loving husband, her family, and supportive friends by her side.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!"

Harry burst right through the door. He had just got back from work, still in his suit, and his face was white. But what he found was just Y/N and Layla sitting on the bed, blinking at him.

"Who just screamed?!"

"Layla did," said Y/N with a beam. "I just told her the news."

"I cannot believe I'm about to be a godmother!" Layla punched the air and then drop her smile to give Harry a questioning look. "Wait...why are you holding a frying pan?"

Y/N was in hysterics when her husband lowered his frying pan and rolled his eyes. "I didn't have time to choose my weapon when I heard you scream. I thought my babies were hurt."

"Ew?!"

"Not you, Layla. I meant Y/N and our actual baby."

Layla ignored him and turned back to Y/N. "He's gonna be using plural nouns from now on, isn't he?"

"He's been doing that since the doctor visit." Y/N gave her best friend a shrug and automatically lifted her face for Harry to kiss. Layla sighed in contentment as she watched them.

"I'm so excited for you guys and also for me! When I was little, I always wanted to be Cinderella and now, I, Layla Scott, is about to be the fairy godmother."

"Who says anything about—" All it took was one fierce glare from Layla for Harry to change his opinion in a heartbreak. "Yes! You're gonna be the best godmother! No doubt!"

"I'm sorry baby Styles," Layla leaned down and whispered to Y/N's nonexistent baby bump. "Your daddy's a fake."

"Well, your aunt Layla's a bully."

"Godmother! Ugh!"

Smirking as Layla jokingly flipped him off, Harry dropped his head to give Y/N a few more pecks, one hand under her chin, the other on her belly. "I'm gonna take a shower now. You ladies have fun without me."

"Don't worry," Layla gave him a lopsided grin. "We always have fun without you."

"Dick."

"Pussy."

"Real mature guys. I can totally see myself trusting you two with this child." Y/N snorted as Harry walked out with his 'weapon' after giving Layla a mocking face.

"Love you, darlings," he said. "And that plural noun doesn't include Layla!"

"Thank you, asshole!" Layla shouted at the closed door, making Y/N laugh even harder.

"He's very excited," Y/N said now that her husband was gone. Though smiling, the girl was subconsciously fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. And even such a little action couldn't get past Layla's eyes.

"What's wrong with you? Why are you upset?"

"What? I'm not!" Y/N scrunched up her face. "I'm perfectly fine."

"You don't look fine though. You blink a lot when you lie."

"I do not!"

"Here she goes again." Layla scoffed. "I don't get it though. You're finally pregnant. Harry's falling more in love with you, I didn't think it was possible, but I was just proven wrong." She stuck out her bottom lip and lifted her shoulders. "So maybe instead of looking constipated the second he turns away, you should be happy."

"I'm not unhappy, I'm just..." Y/N paused to search for the right word and then went with, "worried." Taking a deep breath, she continued, "what if I'm a terrible mother? What if Harry's the favorite parent and I'm the one my kid lies to and keeps secrets from? What if we're both terrible and our kid hates us?!"

"The kid's not even in there yet and you're already freaking out about him or her going through puberty?" Layla breathed as her eyes rolled upward. "Look, I don't hit pregnant women. But I'll slap the shit out of you if you say that again, ya hear me? This isn't you talking. This is the pregnancy hormones. Your anxiety isn't real, okay?" Quickly, she grabbed Y/N's shoulders and signaled the girl to copy her as she inhaled deeply and let go of that breath.

"Feel better?" she grinned. Y/N nodded once, looking less uneasy now. "Good. Just know that we're all here for you. You're gonna be fine."

As it turned out, Layla was right.

Soon the weekend arrived, and the young couple had grown used to the new rhythm of their life. Y/N had been paying more attention to her diet and taking vitamins regularly, so she didn't feel as terrible as she had for the first few days. This morning, Harry had a meeting with a client, so he wasn't there when she woke up. He'd left her breakfast on the kitchen table with a note saying he loved her and would miss her terribly until he came home. After everything that'd happened to them, he was making more effort to make sure she knew how much she meant to him. It began to feel like those college days again, and she wanted to enjoy it while it lasted.

"Nope, I won't do it!"

"I'll pay you."

"You haven't even paid me for catsitting Tiger!"

Y/N brought Treasure toward Nam's desk and couldn't help but overhear his little argument with Stephanie. While the blonde was rambling on, Nam seemed pretty annoyed. That wasn't at all surprising, because Stephanie's only talent besides being a bitch, was being an annoying bitch. Y/N supposed it was mean to think about her neighbor like that. But that woman deserved to be called a bitch after all the things she'd said and done.

"Y/N!" Stephanie grabbed Y/N by the arm the second she saw her. "Tell him to babysit my niece for me!"

"Oh, now you're gonna drag Y/N into this?" Nam laughed wryly as he took the white cat from Y/N's arms. "Even if you promised me a fortune, the answer would still be no. I already know I wouldn't get a single penny from you. At least Treasure's parents pay me well."

Treasure meowed softly as he stroked her head. "Do you agree, my little furry baby? Tiger's parents are stingy white people, aren't they?"

Stephanie rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms. "Well, cats, children, they're all the same."

"Well, thank God, you're not a mother." That was meant to be an insult, but Nam had unintentionally given Stephanie a new idea.

Her eyes lit up as she turned to Y/N. "Since you're about to be a parent, would you like some practice?"

"Oh, no! Leave Y/N alone!"

Stephanie completely ignored Nam as she went on before Y/N could say anything. "Don't worry, my niece's a good kid. Her parents go away on business trips all the time so she's very independent. All you need to do is to keep an eye on her until her mum picks her up."

"How old is she?"

"Y/N, you're not actually considering this!" Nam cried out.

Y/N gave him a shrug as she pursed her lips. "Tomorrow's Sunday, so why not? And I'm also good with kids."

"That's the spirit!" Stephanie smacked her on the arm, causing the poor girl to flinch. "She's five. The sweetest five-year-old you'll ever meet! Her name is Darling."

Y/N saw Nam hug Treasure and turn away as he muttered something, probably cursing Stephanie. But this time, it wasn't Stephanie's fault. Y/N simply thought this was a great opportunity for her and Harry to practice being parents. It was never too soon to get prepared for such a big change in their life.

Besides, with a name like Darling, the girl must be an angel. Now Y/N couldn't wait to talk to her husband about their new plan for Sunday.

.

.

.

"Babe, I still think you're really overthinking this."

"I'm not," Y/N shouted from the living room as she checked her watch. "Would you just hurry up?! We're gonna be late."

"Relax! They literally live just across the hall!" he said and finally stumbled out of their bedroom.

She stared at him, lifting an eyebrow in amusement. "Why are you carrying your laptop?"

"I gotta check my emails." He chuckled and pressed his lips to her temple. "Come on, babe. Let's go fake-parenting."

Laughing, she reached out to hold his hand.

They had never been in Mason and Stephanie's flat and had never intended to set foot in there, unless it was the only safe place in a zombie apocalypse. So when they entered 'the devil's home' for the very first time, their jaws nearly dropped to the floor.

The place was much cleaner and tidier than they'd imagined. Harry had often joked about his cousin's flat looking like a porn movie set, with sex toys hanging on the walls and adult magazines lying all over the place. At least that was how he imagined porn movie sets would look like. However, the flat was actually decent. Y/N amused herself with the thought that, those who had never met Mason and Stephanie would think they were a basic white couple named Kevin and Barbara, who baked cookies and went to church every Sunday. Lesson learned: never judge a book by its cover.

As Y/N went into the kitchen to check what Stephanie had left for them in the fridge, Harry made himself comfortable on the couch (after having made sure there wasn't a cum stain on it) and opened his laptop. They waited for about fifteen minutes when the doorbell rang, and Y/N rushed to it with a big smile on her face. She opened the door and was greeted by a tall woman slightly older than her.

"Hi! You must be Mary!"

"And you must be Y/N, the babysitter!" The lady returned a smile as she fixed her bucket hat that covered most of her bobbed blonde hair. Then, she turned back to call her daughter who was still idling in front of the lift. "Darling, come here, baby!"

The five-year-old pouted as she crossed her arms and waddled toward her mother and Y/N. She was as adorable as the image Y/N had created in her mind, with big bright eyes and brown straight hair that fell right past her tiny shoulders. The ladybug backpack she was wearing was too big for her body that it made her look even smaller. She could be the baby girl Y/N had always wanted. But then again, she shouldn't be. The girl might look like an angel, her attitude, however, said the opposite. Her little round face contorted as she shot Y/N a spiteful glare. Why?! They had only just met!

"Hello, Darling." Y/N crouched down with both hands on her knees despite the unwelcoming reaction. "My name's Y/N. And that—" she pointed at Harry who raised his hand and gave the child a wave "—is my husband, Harry. We're your babysitters for today!"

Darling looked at Y/N, and then Harry, and then back to Mary. She repeated that one more time before telling her mother, "please pick me up on time, mummy. Don't leave me too long with these strangers."

The mother gave a startled Y/N an apologetic grin before turning back to the child. "Of course," she said. "But you gotta promise to be nice and listen to Y/N and Harry, okay?"

Darling looked annoyed as she crossed her arms, still, she replied with a nod, said goodbye to her mum and followed Y/N into the living room.

"Okay." Y/N breathed as she shut the door. "Why don't we just start by getting to know each other?"

Darling shrugged off her backpack and spoke with a straight face, "I want to color."

"Oh, okay." As Y/N plastered a smile on her face, Harry was biting his knuckles so he wouldn't crack up. "I'll get us some paper and we'll color together—"

"I said I, not we."

"Wow..." Y/N heard her husband say, but she was too stunned to react. The kid hadn't broken that intense eye contact with her that made her feel extremely uncomfortable.

She swallowed hard, nodding her head. "S-sure. Why don't you wait on that couch with Harry?"

Darling didn't reply and dragged her backpack toward the couch to sit on the other end, as far away from Harry as she could. Now that his wife had left, Harry thought he should start a conversation to get to know this child. But before he could come up with anything to say, Darling was the one who broke the silence.

"Why do you wear so many rings? Are you married to many women?"

"No!" The man laughed, his eyebrows pulled together. He didn't know why he was nervous talking to this five-year-old when he'd never found it hard to speak to a girl before (Y/N had been a special case). He stuttered for a moment before adding to his answer, "this is my wedding band, see?" He showed her his ring finger, smiling proudly. "This is the only ring that matters."

He thought she would react in a different way, a more childlike and positive one. However, what he got was a hardened expression that seemed like she was silently judging him.

"Are you lying because you think I'm a child so I don't know what cheating is?"

He arched an eyebrow in doubt. "Do you know what cheating is?"

"Yeah, aunt Steph taught me that word," she said casually. "Cheating is when a husband or a wife sleeps with another person that's not their wife or husband."

"Jesus Christ!" His eyes widened as he straightened his back. "She taught you that?!"

"Yeah." Darling nodded once. "But I think she's wrong, because what if you want to have a sleepover with your friends? You have no choice but to sleep with them, right?"

"Right." He chuckled nervously.

Y/N soon returned with some paper, and Harry didn't think he'd ever felt so relieved. Talking to that girl was like being interrogated by the police. He'd never been interrogated by the police before, but in his imagination, this could probably be worse. He took advantage of Darling being distracted by her paper and crayons to drag Y/N to the kitchen, telling her to keep her voice down.

"Harry, we are not having sex while there's a kid in the other room!"

Her reaction made him chuckle as he held her arms. "Who says anything about sex?"

"I'm not sucking your dick either."

"I may be horny for you all the time, but I know my limits. I'm only here to tell you that the child scares me."

"Don't you think it's a little too late for that?" she asked, pointing to her belly.

"No, I mean Darling!"

"You mean what?"

He exhaled and rolled his eyes, but still found the little misunderstanding hilarious. "I was talking about Darling, the little girl."

"Just call her 'the little girl' from now on to avoid confusion."

"Got it." He snorted and proceeded to tell her about their previous conversation in the living room, adding, "I haven't seen her smile, isn't that strange?"

Y/N gave him a shrug. "Maybe she's a mini Wednesday Addams."

"Maybe she's a mini Layla."

"Okay, that's funny."

Harry tried to look as serious as he sounded but his own joke amused him. Smirking, he went on, "I bet she's out there drawing a picture of the two of us with our heads cut off."

"Harry, you're overreacting. She's only a baby," Y/N said and kissed him on the cheek.

Other than being an emo five-year-old, Darling was actually a good kid. She had been quiet the entire time while working on her drawings. She was using a lot of red, which reminded Y/N of what Harry had said earlier, and now she was afraid to see what those 'works of art' were about.

Soon it was lunch and Darling stopped coloring as she told Y/N she was hungry. Y/N wanted to be a good soon-to-be-mother, so she asked her husband to play with Darling while she made some sandwiches for the three of them.

"No, wait, I'll do it!"

Before Y/N could protest, Harry had already dashed into the kitchen. She knew he couldn't cook to save his life but didn't want to fight him on this, so she sat back on the couch and let him be their chef. It would take forever until they had something to eat if at all. So while waiting, Y/N used Harry's laptop to go on YouTube. Just when she thought she could finally relax and watch some funny cat compilations, Darling's loud squeal made her head turn shot up.

"What happened, dear?" Y/N put down the laptop and came to see what was wrong.

The little girl stuck out her bottom lip, her eyes welled up as she held the red crayon now broken in half in her little palm. Y/N squatted on the floor with her elbows on her knees as she gave Darling a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry, you can still color with that."

"It's broken."

"Yeah but..." Y/N took the two halves, each in one hand. "Now you have two red crayons."

"Half a crayon doesn't make a new crayon."

"Who told you that?" Y/N asked, her eyebrows rose.

Darling pursed her tiny heart-shaped lips as she thought for a moment. She was probably trying to decide if she should tell Y/N what she'd never told anyone. Eventually, she confessed, "aunt Steph told mummy that mummy and daddy's marriage was a broken crayon. You can still color with it, but it'll make the picture ugly and messy."

Y/N was frozen by those words. A little girl should not have heard something like that about her parents, ever. Feeling a big lump in her throat, she tried to search for the right thing to say to Darling. It was only then that she looked around at the paintings scattered on the carpet. They weren't what she and Harry had assumed. They were just awful, messy, childish drawings of what any child would view as a happy family. Darling had used a lot of red to draw the hearts. There were so many hearts surrounding her, her mother and her dad. She'd even used that red color to cross out the face of another woman standing in the background, who, Y/N believed, was her father's mistress. That explained why she'd thought Harry was cheating. Her dad had done it, maybe all the men would too.

"Here." Y/N picked up one half of the red crayon as she sat down, crossing her legs. To Darling's confusion, she took a new sheet of paper and began to draw.

She'd been told by her niece Eleanor and Jamie, the boy she used to babysit during college, that she was good at drawing. That was what she loved about children. You didn't have to give it your best shot and they would still think you were extraordinary, simply because you were an adult. And she was right. Darling's mouth had formed an 'o' shape as her eyes followed every single movement of the crayon sliding across the paper. She was in awe to see Y/N quickly sketch a house with a nice garden, the fences, some trees, even a swimming pool. Y/N finished her 'masterpiece' with a family of two, a little cat, and an arrow pointing to the woman's belly as she wrote down the word 'BABY'.

"So this..." She sighed happily now that her work was done. "This is my family," she said, pointing to the picture. "This is Harry, this is me, and you can't see the baby because the baby's in my belly."

"Does your house look like this?" Darling asked, her eyes went round. It was the first time Y/N had seen her act like an actual five-year-old. And there was something so endearing about that. This was when Y/N's maternal instinct kicked in, she felt her heart flutter in a way that she'd only experienced when she was with Harry.

"Nah, we live right across the hall," she told Darling. "But this is our dream house."

"Why don't you buy it? It has a pool and everything!"

"We'll buy it someday. Right now, we want to stay here to be close to work and to our friends."

Darling clasped both hands in front of her chest. "Can I come visit when you finally buy this house?"

"Sure, love." Y/N nodded and handed her one half of the crayon. "Wanna draw yourself in?"

"Can I?!" she exclaimed with excitement, smiling from ear to ear. That was the first smile to be seen on her, and Y/N felt so proud knowing she was the reason for it.

"Sure, babe. You can put yourself next to me and the baby."

Harry finally returned with three (slightly burnt, but still edible) grilled cheese sandwiches. After having struggled in the kitchen for half an hour, he was now considering signing himself up for a cooking class so he wouldn't depend too much on his pregnant wife. But maybe he'd save this talk for later, because his mind went blank the moment he saw his wife...laughing with mini Layla.

"H-hey guys," he spoke, catching the girls' attention. "What...what are you guys doing?"

"Darling drew a picture of us. Wanna see?"

"Is my head still attached to my body?"

"Harry!"

"Alright, alright. Coming."

He put the plate down on the table and sat down with the girls on the floor. His reaction was the same one as Y/N had before when he saw what Darling had been drawing the entire time. It was far different from the horrendous scenario he'd painted in his head.

Excited, the girl stood up and raised her artwork to show it to her two audiences. "So this is you, this is Y/N, this is the baby. I made it a girl because I want a little sister."

Harry chuckled but Y/N shushed him so Darling could finish her presentation, "and this is me, the babysitter."

"She volunteered to be our babysitter," Y/N told her husband before he could ask.

"Told ya she's a mini Layla," said Harry as he waggled his eyebrows, making Y/N giggle and pushed him away.

For the rest of the afternoon, things had gotten much better for Harry and Y/N. They played a few games (that was how Harry discovered he gave great piggyback rides) and did some more coloring. Since Harry had accidentally ruined one picture by coloring outside the lines, the girls threatened to take away his crayons, but eventually agreed to let him color the insignificant details like the trees and the flowers in the background. Honestly, that was the most therapeutic activity he'd done in a long time. He didn't even bother to check his emails and chat with his clients and employees. All he cared about was this happy moment with his wife and their play-pretend family of three.

In nine months, this all would be real.

.

.

.

"I told you it'd be worth it," Y/N said contently as she followed Harry into their flat.

Darling had just left with her mum, who had been so surprised when her daughter appeared with a massive grin and showed her the picture she'd drawn with half a crayon. Y/N hoped Mary had understood and would try to do better for her little daughter. That was what that child deserved.

"I love to see you so happy," said Harry as he hugged her from behind, kissing the spot right below her ear as she held his face. "Told you you'd be a great mum. You've been acting like my mum since the first day we met."

She rolled her eyes, a corner of her mouth turned up. "I just realized that the personality of the child depended a lot on her parents' relationship."

"That's right." He nodded, holding her stomach with both hands. "Our baby's gonna be an angel, because we're in love. I love you, you love me, we're a happy family."

"I can't have a deep and serious talk with you if you keep quoting lyrics from Barney & Friends, H."

"You're so lame. Our baby would've loved that." He scrunched up his nose and tilted his head to kiss the corner of her mouth. Then, he brightened. "Hey, I think the name Darling is very cute and unique. Let's name our baby something similar, like Honey. Baby Honey sounds so cute!"

She raised an eyebrow at him, lips pressed together as she tried to contain her laughter.

"No? Okay, I'll come up with something else. But I will not give our baby some basic names like Kevin or Barbara."

She froze. "Wait, how d'you..."

"Did I say something wrong?" He gave her a confused smile as he didn't get why she seemed so shocked.

Y/N slowly shook her head and kissed the dimple on his cheek. "I almost forgot that we were like the same person sometimes. Is it weird that I want to marry you again?"

"Not at all. I would do it all over again with you." He beamed, holding her tighter. "Don't worry, love. I promise that I will be the most responsible father and role model—

"Harold!" Mason's voice on the other side of the door interrupted Harry at once. "Harold, I have your laptop!"

"Shit, my laptop!"

"Let's see what kind of porn you have in here!"

"Fuck you, Mason! Give it back right now!"

Y/N hadn't said a word but Harry had already chased his cousin down the hallway. With a gentle smile, she stared at the open door and said to their baby, as if it'd already been there, "we'll give your daddy another try tomorrow."