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#But hopefully slightly less bad
sparkle-heart-anon · 9 months
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More bad poetry (that is hopefully slightly less bad)
The scenarios I make up 
as my head hits the pillow at night 
have changed. 
I no longer dream of you buying me sunflowers, 
Of holding my hand as we ice skate, 
Of tucking locks of hair behind my ear 
As you kiss my forehead 
And tell me you love me 
I have stopped wishing you would ask me 
Anything about myself 
How could you go so long 
Not knowing my biggest achievements in life?
Especially when I dropped loaves of breadcrumbs along the way
Instead,
I picture your would-have-been sour mood,
Like the curdled milk left in my fridge 
When I would have told you I got into Oxford.
Things would have been different, 
Because you are a patriot,
And I am a girl with a dream of flying far away 
Or if you did support me going
And if somehow you found yourself next to me
On a plane with the beautiful green tail
I would find myself smushed in the middle seat 
Because you prefer the window. 
I dream at night 
Of all the chances you had to hold the door open for me 
You walked in so confidently. 
I don’t mind holding the door,
But I shouldn’t have to beg for the favour to be returned
 
You talked of marriage 
Far too soon
But I didn’t trust that you wouldn’t buy me a yellow gold ring
Or that you would want to learn 
Since I was a girl in pigtails 
I wanted nothing more than a sapphire to grace my finger
 
I think at night 
Of the list of baby names 
I have tucked away in my notes app
How I have always wanted a daughter 
To name her after the weeping tree. 
But you didn’t like I wanted to wait a decade 
Before ruining my body,
Subjecting her to abject torture 
Because you were older 
At night, though, 
The wonderful memories creep in too. 
How you held my hand proudly.
I was not your trophy, 
Nor your secret, 
But a human.
 
I think of how you called me beautiful,
Of how you fulfilled dreams I never thought
I would be worthy of. 
Of how you held me close at night,
And touched me hair. 
Of how you made diary entries of the teenage girl
Who wanted nothing more than to disappear
Come true.
I think of the bad things too.
They keep me from crawling back,
Begging on my knees for you to take me back. 
I think of how 
You said I love you
Before you asked me to be your girlfriend 
Or how you didn’t talk to me on dates 
With the sea of distance roaring between us. 
I think of the lack of sunflowers, 
$4.99 at Trader Joes.
Or how you didn’t ask me about my dreams,
To write a book, 
Like your mom, 
Or become a clinical ethicist, 
Like your grandfather.
I think how I know so much about you,
And you knew nothing of me. 
I’ve stopped dreaming 
That you would ask me about myself,
And think about the love you said you had. 
You loved a girl you did not know. 
It keeps me at bay, 
To dream of that. 
It does not hurt any less, 
To dream of that. 
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a-whispering-echo · 3 months
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Tudor Nightmare
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sister piece to THIS piece of Tudor Dream <3
side note, i KNOW the arms/sleeves on the closer up drawing are odd, i literally COULD NOT figure it out and this was the closes i got before i hurt to much to give a shit so.
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fatcowboys · 2 months
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tonsillectomy has fucked my sleep schedule and also I am craving every food under the SUN rn but won't be able to enjoy most of them for like another week I have list of foods I'm gonna eat once I'm able to
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rackartyg · 5 months
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listening to podcasts is my no 1 way to stay ahead of the brain bads when i have to do something mindless with my hands and/or feet that i nonetheless can’t look away from, but i’ve worked my way through the full backlog of my main podcast to do this with. hoping and praying i can get my brain to fixate on critical role because then i’d be fucking SET
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daincrediblegg · 8 months
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I would like to have just one first week back at school that doesn't suck literally so bad please I'm begging
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branches-of-time · 11 months
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It (was) that time of the year again!
[Genshin Impact 4.0 Trailer Reaction]
More than 2 months after filming this, I'm finally able to upload it! While I fully expect no one to watch it, such is the nature of starting anything new. Even though I'm very late to the party, I'm not letting the footage go to waste- if I've got it, might as well post it.
Above is the first 10 minutes of my reaction, but I spent another ~30 minutes going back through, pausing and giving further commentary on the trailer, and then let the rest of the program play out as well. If you're interested in watching any or all of that, you can follow the link to the full video on YT directly below!
youtube
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wickedhawtwexler · 1 year
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y'all i am STILL sick!!!! 😭 i think the multiple covid tests that said i was negative for covid are lying bc i can't remember the last time a stupid run-of-the-mill cold had me down and out for almost a week
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mantisgodsdomain · 11 months
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We think we're done mental breakdown time now. We have lit a few non-sealing-related candles. Things will be better in the morning. For now, we remain until the last one burns out.
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exopelagic · 7 months
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update I have been in SUCH a good mood today and I love talking to people <3
#just met a bunch of the other biologists in different years there was a big thing and they’re so cool#I have had. just a little bit to drink bc there was wine and it was actually GOOD I don’t like wine but this stuff was like sweeter#had an actual taste and wasn’t just bitter and burny so I. maybe had like three glasses which is not a lot but I am a small man#my friend said I was normal but he’s also an unobservant straight man I know I was a little more than normal#and also definitely less coordinated (I walked into a wall.)#(nobody was watching it was fine)#it’s fine I don’t drink very often this is probably what happens. so much for alcohol doesn���t affect me very much maybe it depends on what#OH YEAH TOPSY THIS MIGHT BE EVIDENCE FOR THE VODKA BAD THING BC THIS DIDNT GIVE ME A HEADACHE#anyway. it was so fun catching up with some of these people I only see them like a few times a year#but they’re genuinely some of the nicest people I’ve met in this place#hopefully organising a thing with a few of them soon!! will be cooking for a couple people I might invite cool masters student whom I love#she’s my favourite biologist hands down I would kill for her#idk man it’s just made me remember how much I genuinely enjoy talking to people and bc it’s not the first time with a lot of them the like#initial icy awkwardness had melted and we could just be normal people and it was great#and like normally talking to people I actually have classes with it’s weird and slightly like. comparing each other feeling yknow?#but tonight the only people I had classes with who I talked to were my actual friends and then a bunch of people in other years#so it was just nice and chill and it was honestly kinda nice being able to be the reassuring older one like a few people were for me before#anyway yeah I understand a bit more abt a) why people drink at these things (the little extra confidence is nice I can’t lie)#b) this subject sucks in many ways and a lot of the people are shit here but so many aren’t and we’re just all not talking to each other#bc of the much louder incredibly annoying people in between who are much more visible#but when you do end up together it’s rlly nice and I just wish I’d talked to some of them earlier or like. more.#ms. masters I will miss you so much when you’re gone I will not be able to fill the void you leave next year but I will try o7#also oh god yeah the freshers have personalities now it’s great I knew I just needed to give them some time#I only talked to like. threeee? but they’re rlly nice and one is coming for dinner soon hopefully I gotta organise that at some point.#maybe next term bc I don’t think I have time or the brain space to do extras this term now#but it will be at some point bc I rlly wanna talk to them all again. I’ll have so much more time next term I can do that#anyway. I love talking to people and I rlly like when I’m in a good mood I’m gonna try hype myself up more#I think I have a habit of slipping into everything sucks but when I’m not like that I can enjoy Everything. growth#anyway I’m sleeping now I’m so tired early bed goodnight <3#luke.txt
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aidenwaites · 1 year
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It feels like no matter what I do job-wise I'm making the wrong decision and quite frankly. I'm tired
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fallingforyouforeverr · 2 months
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𝐍𝐚𝐩 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 | 𝐎𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐏𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢
summary: Oscar misses a team meeting, but when Lando goes to look for him, he gets a surprise
author's note: i finally published my first f1 fic!! sorry it's so short, but I have a bunch of other drafts I'm working on rn that will hopefully be finished soon. also, i literally wrote this at midnight inspired by a picture i saw on Pinterest so it's kinda bad but oh well
warnings: none, just fluff (600+ words)
• f1 masterlist • youtubers masterlist •
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It was no secret to anyone that Oscar was a clingy boyfriend. The other drivers loved to compare him to a koala because of how often he would wrap himself around you, pulling you close to him and resting his head on top of yours. Although he often annoyed others by getting distracted by you, they couldn't even blame you for it and even Zak had to admit his clingyness was actually quite cute.
Today however, it was annoying – especially to Lando who had spent the last 20 minutes searching for his teammate after he failed to show up to the team meeting. He had already checked everywhere he could think of and was beginning to contemplate calling the police and reporting the younger boy missing when he heard a faint snore coming from a small room on his left. Slowly pushing open the door, Lando was met with the sight of you and Oscar sleeping on a sofa, your limbs so tightly wrapped around each other that it was hard to tell where you ended and he began.
As quietly as he could, Lando took out his phone and snapped a picture of the two of you and posted it on his story. He slid it back in his pocket, wondering how to wake his teammate without disturbing you, when Oscar stirred, stretching out his long limbs and opening his bleary eyes.
"Wakey wakey sleepyhead," Lando teased, causing the other boy to groan.
Oscar wriggled his arm out from under you, bringing it up to rub his eyes. "What time is it?" He asked.
"It's almost 2"
"WHAT!" Oscar shot up, accidentally waking you in the process, "shit I missed the meeting didn't I."
"Oz? What's wrong?" You spoke as you sat up, voice still slightly scratchy from sleep.
He froze, looking at you with wide eyes and a guilty expression. "Um... I forgot to set an alarm and I kinda slept through the team meeting."
"Oscar!" You scolded with a laugh, " Zak is gonna be so mad!"
Lando chuckled, making you jump as you hadn't realised he was there. "Oh yeah, he's pissed by the way."
Dragging a hand down his face with a sigh, your boyfriend reluctantly pulled himself out of your arms and stood up. "I'm gonna go catch up with the team," he announced, raking a hand through his hair as he rushed out to the garage.
"Oh I can't wait to see what Zak is gonna say about this" Lando began, a grinning cheekily at you. Narrowing your eyes at him in response, he held up his hands in surrender. "Ok, alright, I'm going!"
Smiling wryly at his childish antics, you began packing away your stuff, knowing that Oscar would be finished soon as he tended to become antisocial when tired. Just as you finished putting the last item in your bag, the Australian appeared in the doorway, affection laced with exhaustion in his eyes as he observed you. When you had finished, he held out his hand for you to grab as he led you through the McLaren hospitality. You had almost reached the exit when a familiar voice rang out behind you.
"Ah, Oscar, there you are!"
You both turned around guiltily to come face to face with a less than pleased Zak Brown. "We missed you in the meeting earlier, mate. I hope that nap was worth it."
"Oh yeah sorry I was um-" Oscar paused, a frown overtaking his features as he realised what the older man had said. "Wait how do you know about that?"
Zak chuckled, calling over his shoulder as he walked away, "Let's just say a certain someone isn't very good at keeping secrets."
"Lando, that absolute muppet!"
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tinycoffeeroom · 4 months
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just friends pt. 2 | lando norris
face claim: none ♡
request: here !
part 1!
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
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👤 flavy.barla liked by estebanocon, lilymhe and 64,285 others
y/nstagram me and my gf terrorise monaco 💗
flavy.barla that barista so wanted to throw that matcha at us ↳ y/nstagram because you took about 10 years deciding what drink you wanted!!! ↳ flavy.barla they all looked so good :(
fan flavs 🥹 i love their friendship so much ↳ y/nstagram wdym friendship thats my GIRL ↳ fan lando found dead in a ditch ♥️ y/nstagram ↳ fan SHADE
estebanocon can i have my girlfriend back now? ↳ y/nstagram nope she's mine :) ↳ estebanocon understandable
lilymhe me next!!!! ↳ y/nstagram come join us babygirl i have 2 hands xx ↳ alexandrasaintmleux what about me? :( ↳ y/nstagram we can link toes 💗
bffstagram seeing you happy makes my heart so 💝💖💕💞💓💗💘💖💕💞💓💘 ↳ y/nstagram i love you so intensely
fan still no lando like bro i'm in the trenches
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liked by fan, fan and 38,948 others
f1gossipgirl ANNOUNCEMENT! We sat down with the mystery girl on all of your feeds to discuss those pictures with Lando Norris, Y/N L/N and the fallout from her recent introduction to the F1 world. Available at f1gossipgirl.com tomorrow 7PM GMT. You won't wanna miss this one!
fan not her using lando for fame
fan flop!
fan we will Not be tuning in xx
fan they better be just friends or i'm gonna be in lando's walls
fan if they're dating it's game over y/nlando'ers !!! ↳ fan bro i'll scream ↳ fan i'll cry ↳ fan i'll throw up ↳ fan i'll do all three simultaneously
fan hopefully people will leave them the fuck alone after this damn
fan not them asking her about y/n that's so shady ↳ fan if she mentions one bad word about y/n we ride at dawn
charlottehinchcliffe thank you for having me! :) ↳ fan 👀👀👀 ↳ fan homewrecker ↳ fan not too much on charlotte now we don't even know what happened
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True to his word, 10 minutes later, Lando was at your door. Steeling yourself for the conversation ahead, you turn the lock and open the door to reveal a slightly out of breath Lando.
Eyeing him as he pants slightly, you lean against the doorframe. "You good?"
"Yeah!" He takes a moment to catch his breath, wiping his hands against his shorts. "I was at padel, so I had to run over."
You look at him incredulously. "The padel courts are a good 25 minutes from here, Lan, did you run here or something?"
In lieu of a verbal answer, he shrugs his shoulders, nudging his way into your apartment.
The two of you sit in silence on the sofa, both waiting for the other to begin speaking.
"I-" "So-"
You can't help but giggle at the ridiculousness of the situation. Never once in your friendship with Lando had you ever felt so awkward to start a conversation. You gesture towards him, "you start."
He nods, turning to face you on the sofa. "Did I do something? Like we were good until Sass Cafe, and then it's like you just dropped off the face of the earth. I missed my best friend."
Your heart breaks at the way his face drops, blaming himself for something that was completely out of his control.
"Lan, no, it wasn't you, I promise. I'm sorry for ghosting you, I just needed some time to think some things through."
You reach forward and pat his hand, a purely friendly gesture.
"You can talk to me about anything, Y/N. What's going on?" His eyes are pleading, hand twisting around to grasp your own.
Sighing, you pull your hand away from his, missing the warmth immediately. "We need to stop hooking up."
You can tell that wasn't what he thought you were going to say from the way he stiffens, eyes wide and searching your own.
"Why? Did..." He trails off for a moment, eyes drifting down to the hand you pulled from his, "are you dating someone?"
You want to scoff. The only person you wanted to date was the one you were currently pushing away. "No, Lan. I'm not dating anyone. I think everything's just become too complicated, we need to just be best friends, nothing more, nothing less."
He looks hurt, mouth trying to form words as he takes a second to process your words. "Um, ok? I'm sorry? I didn't realise things were complicated..." There's a beat of silence between you before he speaks again. "Is this about the girl I was pictured with because I promise nothing happened between us."
He's almost begging, hands half reaching forward like he wants to grab yours before he catches himself, stilling in the air.
You shake your head, smiling softly at him. "No, I spoke to Charlotte, I know nothing happened. This is simply a me and you thing. Well, a me thing, I guess. You're my best friend and I love you but I need to do this for myself."
He's about to speak when your best friend comes waltzing through the front door. "Y/N! I got pastries from the cafe down the road, come get them while they're still warm!"
Walking into the living room, she stills at the sight of you and Lando on the sofa, hand carrying a bag of pastries stuck in the air. "I'll just..." She hurries off into the kitchen before either of you can say anything.
The two of you look at each other, tension in the air broken as you both laugh softly at your best friend.
"So, still best friends?" Lando's eyes are soft as they look at you.
"Always."
He leaves soon after, a shared hug in lieu of a goodbye. At the sound of the door closing, your best friend comes running through the kitchen door. "So?"
You fall back onto the sofa, tears lining your eyes. "Hand me the damn pastries."
f1gossipgirl uploaded a new article
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📍 Bahrain
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liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren and 1,928,784 others
landonorris bahrain brought the bahpain... p9 with some car difficulties, but we try again for monaco! congrats to oscarpiastri on the podium, lets go!
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fan bro's majestic
fan not him flopping when y/ns in the paddock ↳ fan when the camera panned to her and she looked... different... i need to know what happened ↳ fan f1gossipgirl posted an interview with the girl, nothing happened between them but we still don't know what happened between lando and y/n!! ↳ fan did you see her cheering when oscar finished p3? giggling
oscarpiastri cheers 👍🏼 ↳ fan go girl give us nothing! ↳ fan no but the photos of him and lily laughing with y/n after the race while lando was just standing in the garage watching them ↳ fan oscar is a girl's girl fr
📍 Bahrain
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👤 lilynzeimer, y/nstagram liked by lilynzeimer, y/nstagram and 1,983,275 others
oscarpiastri me, my girlfriend and my girlfriend's girlfriend.
for real though, podium in bahrain is a big win for the team! shame we couldn't get more points but we regroup and prepare for monaco!
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fan that caption is so shady im HOWLING
fan "we" aka lando norris
fan no bc something must have happened with y/n and lando for oscar to shade his own teammate
fan i love the gf's
fan the caption 😭😭 can't believe oscar admitted he's the third wheel in his own relationship ↳ oscarpiastri i've long since accepted that i am the side piece... ↳ lilynzeimer at least you're self aware ❤️
fan y/n the paddocks princess we love you
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y/nstagram uploaded 2 stories
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[caption 1: pasta is the way to my heart fr] [caption 2: 📍Bahrain] seen by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux and 79,482 others
fan MAN???? THERE IS A MAN !!!! PLEASE SAY ITS LANDO !!!! ↳ y/nstagram no it's charles! me, alex and him went out for a meal! :) ↳ fan ok best friends! love you y/n
alexandrasaintmleux the first story def looks like you're on a date ↳ y/nstagram i was... with you xxx ↳ y/nstagram people will probs think its lando 🤷‍♀️ ↳ y/nstagram unless you want me to take it down? i don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about me and charles ↳ alexandrasaintmleux you can have him tbh he keeps whining about how he's the side chick in the relationship
landonorris chill night alone huh? ↳ y/nstagram i got invited out last minute! 😁 ↳ landonorris who are you with? ↳ landonorris y/n??? ↳ landonorris fuck it i know that restaurant, i'm on my way
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liked by fan, fan and 79,038 others
f1gossip Lando Norris and Y/N L/N were caught having a heated argument outside of a restaurant in Bahrain. Sources near the pair mentioned that Y/N met him outside then they were arguing about Y/N's recent instagram stories, with Lando insinuating she was on a date with one of his driver friends. He was then seen getting into a Lambourghini and leaving Y/N at the restaurant. Y/N was then flanked by Charles Leclerc and his girlfriend, Alexandra, who it appears Y/N was having dinner with.
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fan i'm actually gonna fight him what the fuck
fan how can he just leave y/n there crying
fan y/n deserves so much better holy shit
fan landonorris not you flirting with another girl in sass then getting mad at y/n for *checks notes* having a meal with friends ↳ fan he wasn't flirting with charlotte, they're friends ↳ fan either way, he can't just get mad at y/n for having a potential date if they're not even together
fan did lando think y/n would openly cheat on him like that? ↳ fan not cheating if they were never together ↳ fan we don't know that ↳ fan they've said multiple times that they're just best friends, the shippers are the ones who have it in their heads that they're dating
alex's pov
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👤 charles_leclerc, y/nstagram liked by y/nstagram, charles_leclerc and 92,395 others
alexandrasaintmleux my girl, the chauffeur and 3 wine glasses.
fan alex unprivating her account to say a big fuck you to lando 🤭🤭🤭
fan alex doesn't play when it comes to y/n ♥️ alexandrasaintmleux
fan landonorris ↳ fan landonorris ↳ fan landonorris ur loss big man ↳ fan landonorris ↳ fan landonorris ↳ fan landonorris ↳ fan landonorris flop ↳ fan landonorris
y/nstagram love of my life and my entire heart and soul ↳ alexandrasaintmleux my future wife 💖
charles_leclerc can't believe i've been downgraded to chauffeur ↳ y/nstagram you literally drive for a living you're basically a chauffeur,,, just faster
fan alex and y/n one chance PLEASE
fan y/ns so gorgeous ik He fumbled but i could treat you so right please please pleeeeeeasssseeeeee ♥️ y/nstagram
fan alex using the same photo as y/ns story... i'm surprised she didn't circle all three glasses and send it to Him ↳ alexandrasaintmleux what makes you think i didn't 🤔 ↳ fan queen behaviour
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📍 Italy
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👤 alexandrasaintmleux liked by alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and 78,298 others
y/nstagram ethereal 🤍
alexandrasaintmleux i am so in love with you coucou please run away with me i have the ring ready and waiting ↳ y/nstagram anytime, anywhere my love 💖
charles_leclerc dude please stop being more in love with my girlfriend than me, the fans are rabid i cant fight !! ↳ y/nstagram 🤷🏻‍♀️ up your game before someone (me) snatches up the baddest bitch in monaco ↳ charles_leclerc i literally paid for you to go on a couples trip with her, i am stupid ↳ y/nstagram thanks sugar daddy xx ↳ charles_leclerc using me for my money, i see how it is y/n ↳ y/nstagram for your money and your girl* why else would i keep you around? ↳ fan y/n let him get up let him get up FIGHT BACK ↳ charles_leclerc i am terrified of her ♥️ y/nstagram
fan alex is so gorgeous holy shit
fan when i'm in a loving alex competition and my opponent is y/n l/n: 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️
y/nstagram uploaded a story
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You text Lando the day after you got back from Italy, wrapped in the safety of your best friends arms as you fire off a quick "you can come round". Again, within ten minutes Lando was outside your door. Your best friend answered, eyes laser focused on the sheepish man in front of her.
"Fix this or I'll spread a rumour that you cry when you cum."
Lando nods frantically at her, wide eyed and fully believing she would. If there's one thing he'd learnt since befriending you, it was that your best friend would lay her life on the line for you.
She frog marches Lando through the hallway and into the living room, nodding once at you before departing to her bedroom, not even bothering to check if Lando followed her.
You let your eyes linger on her until the bedroom door shuts, slowly moving your eyes to the man stood awkwardly in the doorway of the living room.
He looked terrible, dark rings circling now dull eyes, red rimmed and rubbed raw. His face looked gaunt, sunken in cheeks and downturned lips. You watch his brows furrow as he tries to think of what to say first.
Beating him to it, you gesture to the sofa. "Sit."
He moves as if on autopilot, choosing to sit the furthest away from you, half hanging off the sofa cushion as if he was ready to bolt at any moment. You have flashbacks to the last time you two met like this and you can't help but fear that this will be the last time he ever steps foot in your apartment.
"Y/N-"
Silencing him with a wave of your hand, you allow your eyes to rake over his face one more time, just in case it was the last. "No, Lando. You've said more than enough, it's time I get to speak."
He nods in response, hands wringing nervously in his lap.
The original plan had been to let him explain and see if he would apologise for the things he said, but during your girls trip with Alex, something had changed.
The two of you were swinging softly in the hammock on the patio of the villa Charles had rented out for the two of you, Alex stroking your hair as you recalled everything that had happened from the moment you met Lando.
The shy beginnings, the budding friendship and the drunken nights spent wrapped in his bedsheets.
She'd wrapped her free arm around your sun soaked skin when you began to cry, trying to make sense of where everything had gone so wrong.
Whispering soft words of encouragement into your hair, she reminded you that no matter how much you loved him, he had no right to speak to you the way that he did, whether it be as a boyfriend, best friend or acquaintance.
Pulling yourself back into the present, you sigh quietly before speaking. "I'm not sure where we went so wrong. I love being your best friend, I really do and I would do anything for us to go back to being just that, but I think both you and I know that can't happen."
Another nod from him, shoulders tense and still as if he was holding his breath.
"The first time we hooked up after your podium in Silverstone, I assumed it would be a one off. Too many drinks, too many high spirits and despite the girls vying for your attention, you knew I was the easiest option who would never tell anyone what happened."
Lando goes to interrupt you, eyes pleading. "It wasn't like that-"
You throw him a look, a reminder that this was your time to let out everything you had been holding in since that first night.
"When I woke up and you immediately said it was a mistake, I agreed. Wrote it off as something silly. Then it happened again and again and again. Each time, before I'd even wiped the sleep out of my eyes, you'd be staring at the ceiling, reminding me that it was just a mistake. At first it didn't hurt because I'd agreed, or at least I thought I'd agreed, but then we grew closer as friends. You'd pull me on your lap for a movie night, or twirl me around before one of your parties and tell me how pretty I looked, and somewhere along the line, I fell in love."
You refused to look at him at the last sentence, too scared to see what would be reflected in his eyes.
"It was stupid to keep hooking up with you after that, but I couldn't stop myself. It felt so good to be wanted by you. Every time we'd hook up, I'd smile and agree it was a mistake then go home and cry in one of the girls' arms. The last time, after Sass, I sat down with best friend and told her everything. She reminded me that I'm worth so much more than a drunken hook up, and for once, I finally agreed."
You allowed yourself to look at Lando then, heart twisting at the sight. Tears lined guilt filled eyes, those god damn eyes. He looked like someone had just punched him in the gut, mouth open in a slight downturned pout as he stared back at you.
"That's why I became so distant, I was trying to save our friendship. And then, those photos of you and Charlotte came out and I was jealous, so fucking jealous. Here I was, tearing myself apart at home while you were busy hitting on other girls." Ignoring the affronted noise from Lando, you continue. "I know now that wasn't the case, but it hurt so much. I genuinely felt like my heart was breaking in two."
Wiping the few tears that fell down your cheeks with the back of your hand, you smiled softly at him. "Then we met up and everything became a bit easier. I thought maybe we could, well I could, work through this. I could unlearn to love you and we could be best friends again."
Lando lets out a noise akin to a whine, tears finally escaping his eyes, dripping down to his chin. You resist the urge to reach out and brush them away, your own tears marring your vision.
"That night in Bahrain, I really had just wanted to stay at home and get an early night. Then Alex had texted me, and you know her, the girl doesn't take no for an answer." You try and laugh, the sound coming out flat and warbled at the same time. "I was trying to not be on my phone too much and that's why I didn't reply to your other messages. Charles offered to go out and speak to you but that wasn't fair on him, this wasn't his mess to fix."
Seeing Lando stare at you so gloomily from your sofa was becoming a little too much for you to handle, soft sobs echoing between the two of you. You stand from the sofa, moving to the window in your living room, eyes trained on the setting sun.
"The things you said that night really hurt, Lando. We've never argued in the entire time we've been friends, not even a little friendly one. You were so angry at the idea of me seeing one of your driver friends and I couldn't figure out why. We'd joked about me dating one of them before, hell, you even asked if I wanted Daniel's number after we snuck off at that house party to tie all your shoelaces together before he starting seeing Heidi..."
This time, Lando successfully cuts you off. "Do you really not know why?" His voice is gravelly, molasses thick around the edges.
Shaking your head, you hear him stand up from the sofa too, sock clad feet shuffling against the hardwood floor. When he speaks next, you can tell he's right behind you.
"I was jealous." The sound of him ruffling his hair floats through the silence between you. "When we met up and you said you wanted to stop hooking up, even if you were adamant that you weren't seeing someone new, I couldn't get that thought out of my head. Sure, our friendship is, was, a bit unconventional, but I thought it worked. I thought we worked. I had no idea it was hurting you and so when it ended, that was the only reason I could think of."
Looking through the glass of the window, your eyes lock with Lando's, his stare equal parts intense and regretful.
"And then I thought you were blowing me off in Bahrain and it was like a switch flipped. The thought of you ignoring me and being with someone who wasn't me made me feel sick to my stomach. It's the same feeling I get when you show me a silly meme Logan sent you or when I saw you and Dan giggling quietly and having to hold each other up in my hallway."
Gaze unwavering, he studies your face through the window pane. "Can you turn around and look at me properly, please?"
Unable to ignore the pleading in his voice, you turn slowly on the spot. The two of you are less than a foot apart, a few inches closer and you'd be able to see the flecks of gold in his eyes.
"There you are." A small smile crosses his lips. "I thought it was anger at you blatantly avoiding me, but then I remembered how my first thought when the photos of me and Charlotte came out wasn't 'my PR team's gonna fucking kill me', it was 'I need to tell Y/N it isn't true'."
He shuffles closer, hand reaching out to rest against your jaw. Using his thumb to swipe the stream of tears flowing down your face, he lowers his voice to a whisper.
"Every time I told you that us hooking up was a mistake, I was wrong. The mistake was me not realising how ridiculously in love I am with you."
You try to speak, a small whine escaping your lips, only audible because of the quietness of the apartment.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I should have never spoken to you like that in Bahrain. I only ever want to see you happy, to see your nose scrunch at how wide you're smiling, to hear you laugh loud and unabashedly. Knowing I hurt you, and have been hurting you for months, breaks my heart and I'm so angry at myself for not letting you explain. I love you and I want to be with you, but I understand I've hurt you and it's ok if you don't want that too."
Tears glimmer in his eyes again, smile soft and warm but tinged with remorse. He scans your face, looking for your answer in lieu of a verbal one.
Reaching a shaking hand up to cover his on your jaw, you close your eyes, allowing yourself to savour the warmth of his palm. "I want that. I want to love and be loved by you."
You open your eyes, meeting his brightened gaze.
"Really?" He sounds and looks awestruck, the weight of possibly losing you physically dropping off his shoulders, his body relaxing as he melts at the sight of you smiling gently. "You're sure?"
You nod, matching his fond smile. "I'm sure."
His thumb traces your bottom lip, eyes drawn to the movement. Before he can ask, you use your free hand to grab the front of his t-shirt, dragging him until the two of you are pressed chest to chest.
"Kiss me, Lando."
His name gets muffled as he presses his lips to yours fervently. Warm, syrup soaked and something that could only be described as Lando. Not a trace of alcohol, a distant memory of how this normally went. You decide then and there that this was your favourite taste.
His hand slips to the back of your neck, fingers tangled in your hair as he pulls you closer, eliminating any possible space that could come between the two of you. Each time your lips part, he whispers a soft "I love you", the sound being inhaled by you.
Slipping an arm around your waist and digging his fingers into the flesh, he revels in your gasp, tongue slipping between your lips to find your own.
Your body flares up at the feeling, each nerve ending scorching hot and tinging with electricity. You whisper "I love you's" back with each parting, one hand still wrapped in the fabric of his t-shirt as the other slides up the back of his shirt, tracing the map of his muscles.
You giggle as he shivers at the touch, finally allowing the two of you to breathe as he joins you, the kiss becoming more teeth than lips. He drags you into his arms, the hand in your hair moving down to interlink with the one wrapped around your waist.
Nudging his nose against your temple, he moves his head until his lips are level with your ear.
"Be mine?"
You hum into his neck, pressing soft kisses to the skin. "I already was."
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liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintleux and 11 others
y/npriv not one mean comment, that's boyfie!
lilymhe 🤐 ↳ flavy.barla 🤐 ↳ alexandrasaintmleux 🤐 ↳ francisca.c.gomes 🤐 ↳ lilynzeimer 🤐 ↳ heidiberger_ 🤐 ↳ carmenmmundt 🤐 ↳ kellypiquet 🤐 ↳ iamrebeccad 🤐 ↳ landonorris were you silent or were you silenced ↳ alexandrasaintmleux don't even try it norris
francisca.c.gomes on a real note, i'm happy for you, truly 💗 (please tell me he grovelled) ↳ landonorris i was 2 seconds away from getting down on my knees and begging ↳ francisca.c.gomes good. ♥️ alexandrasaintmleux, lilynzeimer, lilymhe, heidiberger_, carmenmmundt, kellypiquet, iamrebeccad, flavy.barla
lilymhe how did you even get in here landonorris ↳ landonorris begged her to let me in ↳ lilynzeimer you seem to be doing a lot of begging recently ↳ landonorris ??? you're meant to be the nice one ↳ lilynzeimer blame my boyfriends influence :)))))
📍Miami
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landonorris P1. Grand Prix Winner. It wasn't too much for little lando norris... feels absolutely surreal, I'll post something more eloquent when I've stopped shaking 🧡
See 989,283 other comments
fan GRAND PRIX WINNER LANDO NORRIS !!!!! THAT FEELS SO GOOD TO TYPE!!!!
carlossainz congratulations muppet, lets get drunk!!!!! ♥️ landonorris ↳ scuderiaferrari not too drunk mr sainz
maxverstappen1 proud to come second to you, mr norris! congratulations 💙 ♥️ landonorris
oscarpiastri proud of you bud! ♥️ landonorris
danielricciardo HE RACES LIKE A LION, SHOULDN'T HE BE DUTCH ♥️ landonorris
pitstopboys time to get back in the studio!
mclaren never doubted you, papaya forever! 🧡 ↳ landonorris papaya forever!!
y/nstagram so beyond proud,,, soak it all in lan ❤️ ↳ landonorris i'm so happy i flew you out for this one ↳ fan Y/NLANDO ARE BACK????? MY KING AND QUEEN????? ↳ fan i hope he was crying, screaming and begging on his knees to get y/n back ↳ landonorris i was prepared to ↳ fan LANDO????
fan y/n running at him full pelt and knocking them over in parc ferme... my parents fr ↳ fan the way he didn't cry until he saw y/n's smile... im lying down on the highway
fan y/nlando make up, lando wins a grand prix... she's his good luck charm ♥️ landonorris
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y/nstagram my love, my light, my grand prix winner. words can't even begin to describe how proud i am of you. forever in awe of all that you do ❤️
landonorris i love you so much, i couldn't have done this without you my love ❤️ ↳ y/nstagram i love you, come give me another kiss RIGHT NOW ↳ landonorris 🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️
bffstagram everyone cheer i didn't have to go to jail!! ♥️ y/nstagram
fan HARD LAUNCH??? ↳ y/nstagram lbr we've been unknowingly hard launching for a while now hahahaha
fan ok cute and all but i still haven't forgiven him for bahrain ↳ y/nstagram well i have, and honestly that's all that matters ↳ fan just don't want to see you hurt y/n ❤️ ↳ y/nstagram and i love you for that 💖 but we're all good, i promise
fan ik the grovelling was Excellent for her to dedicate a whole post to him ↳ y/nstagram just wanna celebrate my boyfie 🫶🫶 (it was) ↳ landonorris say that again ↳ y/nstagram my boyfriend ❤️ ↳ fan yeah y'all are cute and all but i'm perpetually single and a hater so out of my replies (love you guys)
estebanocon loving mitski lyrics!!!!! he did it guys!!!! ↳ y/nstagram loving mitski lyrics!! also thank you este, i owe you and flavy lunch! ↳ flavy.barla do we have to invite him? ↳ estebanocon sometimes it do be your own girlfriend ♥️ y/nstagram
alexandrasaintmleux i'm still your favourite though? :( ↳ francisca.c.gomes actually, that's me ↳ lilymhe no me ↳ y/nstagram before y'all start this again, my gaggle of girlfriends will always be my favourite 💝 ♥️ alexandrasaintmleux, lilynzeimer, lilymhe, heidiberger_, carmenmmundt, kellypiquet, iamrebeccad, flavy.barla ↳ landonorris i love me, my girlfriend and my girlfriends 10 girlfriends ↳ lilymhe hey, we had her first! ♥️ y/nstagram
charlottehinchliffe so happy for you two!!! 🩵 ↳ y/nstagram thank you!! i hope you're well! 💜
kellypiquet what was that about max being behind lando? ↳ y/nstagram KELLY ↳ y/nstagram i reverse manifested it, lando ur welcome for your win xx ↳ landonorris ??? ↳ y/nstagram i forgot you weren't on my priv until recently, ignore that ❤️
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
well, part 2 is a little bit of a long one! i had so much fun working on this and i hope it lives up to your expectations! ♡ (to the anon who wanted lando to cry, this is for you)
tag list: @formulaal @tinyhrry @tiniiii44 @appl3-0rchard @luvrrish @405rry @whentheautumnleavesfall @callsignwidow @dinodumbass @northernlights19 @spctrfilms @some-girl-lost-in-this-world @ushygushybaby @motherofslay123 @ssararuffoni @littlementalpolaroids @headinthecloudssblog @eclipsedcherry @charlesgirl16 @someonewhosfallenapart @random-human02 @lightdragonrayne @fearfam69691 @meltingcherryz @noneofyourfbusinessworld @bernelflo @myescapefromthislife @eiaaasamantha @s0meth1ngs @littlehoneyfreak @customsbyjcg-blog @lifeless-firefly @esserenorris @ironmaiden1313 @harrysdimple05 @keisouy @dannyriccsupremacy @formula1simp @mehrmonga @sunny44 @saythename-sm @mayplesyrupsainz @love-simon @iliyad @daemyratwst @lunamelona @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir @littlegrapejuice @rafegirly @youreverydayfangirl @honethatty12 @latenightescapes-95
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doxiedreg · 2 years
Text
Hair was getting in my face and driving me crazy so I decided to try out one of the local hairdressers nearby (because Im not happy with the service and price of my regular barber anymore and also they are further away and the busses are on strike rn) and boy I chose badly. Communication was bad, didn't want to think with me what hairstyle would look good on me and wanted me to just pick a model which I'm bad at because I don't have any clue about hairstyles. Also didn't wash my hair beforehand because the website didn't show the option for washing included. Hairdresser thought I was 15 before she asked my age. Dutch wasn't her first language which is fine but communication was difficult because of that. My hair smells very perfumed now and looks like shit to me and it just feels so wrong...it's almost dysphoric. Just I hate this, I'm already stressed enough as is I just wanted my hair out of my face god damnit I now feel even shittier..I hate going to new hair dressers, you never know what you will encounter just fuck. I also hate that haircuts for women are more expensive than haircuts for men. Hair should not be gendered. At least I now know for sure that im not a woman now because I hated being forced to pick female haircut. Just fuck I'm feeling so uncomfortable and bad I can't wait for my hair to grow back. Time to wear hats and never go back to that barber even if she was nice and I feel low-key bad about going to ghost her. Just ugh universe hates me right now I guess.
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nastybuckybarnes · 10 months
Text
Welcome Home
Pairing: Simon Riley X Reader
Summary: Nothing shatters the tension of a fight quite like needing your boyfriend to rush home to save you from people who would do you harm.
Warnings: Angst, Language, Fighting, Fluff, Kind of mean!Simon but not too bad, very minor violence, home invasion, I think that's it...?
Word Count: 1.5K
A/n: we're gonna dip a toe in the COD water and see what happens. I love ghost and Konig so we'll see what else I do there. For any and all COD stuff, I use Canadian Military as a basis for the readers background.
~*~
"I've had enough of this. I'm not gonna argue with you about somethin' so stupid," he hisses, glaring at you with hard, cold eyes.
"It's not stupid, Simon, you just don't want to ever entertain the idea of talking about things that might make you slightly uncomfortable!"
"Oh fuckin hell." He drags a hand down his face and shakes his head.
"Everythin's always gotta end with you being right, doesn't it?"
You frown at his absolute lack of any sort of understanding or empathy.
"This isn't about me being right, this is about you at the very least hearing me out!" You try.
"You knew what you were getting in to the moment you met me, m'not sure what you're expecting of me now. S'not like I can go and change the way things are, now can I?"
You narrow your eyes at him and his blatant ignorance.
"I understand full well, Lieutenant. I've been there, which is something you seem to conveniently forget."
He lets out a humourless chuckle and shakes his head, "don't go put yourself in the same category as me now, lovey. You know you weren't exactly at my level when you served."
His words are a slap in the face.
Sure, you were never quite JTF2 or SAS level, but that doesn't mean your time in the military is any less valid than his.
Seven years of your life you devoted to serving your country, the medical help for teams like his, and all he can do is turn his nose down at it as if it means nothing to him.
"You know what? Fuck you, Simon. I never even insinuated that we were at the same level and for you to try and..." you stop, pinching the bridge of your nose as anger fills you.
"What? Got nothin' to say now? That's a shock."
It takes all your strength not to lash out at him and even more to stop your bottom lip from quivering at just how mean he's being.
Sure, he's always been a little rough around the edges, a little harsh and brazen, but never has he been so downright mean to you.
"Get out."
"What?" This seems to genuinely catch him off guard, his arrogance faltering for a moment.
"Get out. Leave."
Simon Riley isn't a man who gets scared. He's been chewed up and spat out of hell before. Nothing on Earth can get the jump on him and nothing can scare him.
At least, that's what he thought.
His palms tingle and he needs to grind his teeth together a few times to collect himself before speaking.
"So that's it then?" He asks, his deep voice barking the question like he would an order.
You two have had your fair share of fights in the time that you've been dating, even more since you moved in together, but none where he's thought you might end things.
"I'm not gonna stand here and take a verbal beating from you, Si. Get out and come back when you've had a chance to fucking cool off."
He stares at you for a long moment, testing your resolve, waiting to see if you really mean it.
When you hold his glare, not backing down, he grabs his coat, mask, and keys and storms out of the house without another word.
You stand there in the kitchen for a long moment, the silence ringing heavily in your ears before you storm up the stairs to take a shower and, hopefully, argue out all your hostility in private.
The warm water runs over your tense shoulders for a few minutes and you try your hardest to relax, to let the anger seep out of you and run down the drain, but when you hear the front door open you're filled with rage once more.
You stand in the shower silently, waiting for the door to open and close again, signalling his departure, but instead you just hear boots on the kitchen floor.
Scoffing and shaking your head, you start to seethe.
As if he's wearing his shoes in the house on top of everything else.
You yank the shower curtain aside and step out onto the mat, not bothering to turn the shower off.
A crash from the kitchen makes you freeze.
Simon is never this loud.
Like a deer on the highway, you stay still, silencing your breathing as you listen to the noises coming from the kitchen.
Instead of calling out to him and potentially causing more trouble, you take a silent step to the counter where your phone lies.
You grab it and hit his icon quickly, listening to it ring for a while before he sends you to his voicemail. A loud beep sounds tauntingly in your ear and you huff out an angry breath.
You hang up and call him back, grinding your teeth together when he sends you straight to voicemail again.
The noises in the kitchen continue, and your heart jumps into your throat.
Answer your phone, Simon.
You shoot the text off quickly then immediately call him again, your stomach settling when the call connects.
"Are you home?" You waste no time on pleasantries, and instead hear him sigh heavily.
"You told me to get the fuck out, didn't ya? Why would I be home."
Your breath hitches and you press your back to the bathroom door, turning the lock silently as panic fills you.
"Simon, someone's here."
The fear in your voice has his blood running cold, his fingers gripping the steering wheel tighter as your fight gets shoved from his mind.
"What do you mean 'someone's here'?" He asks, his voice lacking the anger it had only moments ago.
"I heard the door open and I can hear someone in the kitchen."
You hear his tires screeching on the pavement and his engine roaring as he speeds home.
"Where are you right now?" This isn't Simon talking now. You recognize the change.
This is Ghost.
"I'm in our bathroom. Door locked and shower on."
"Good. Keep that water running. As long as they think you don't know they're there, you should be okay until I get home."
"Okay." You feel a little bit safer knowing he's on his way home.
"Keep me on the line."
"Okay."
There's a few seconds of just breathing before you speak again.
"How far are you?"
"Two minutes away."
"Okay... After you deal with these guys we can go back to yelling at each other," you whisper, wrapping a towel around your body and leaning against the wall across from the door.
He chuckles softly and the sound makes a small smile tug at your lips.
As much as he pisses you off and even sometimes hurts your feelings, deep down you know you'll never love anyone the way you love him.
You don't realize you've been quiet until he calls your name softly.
"You still with me, dove?" His voice is soft and you hear him turn the car off.
"I'm here."
"Good. I'm home now, don't come out of the bathroom 'till I come get you, understood?"
"Understood."
Sometimes living with Simon reminds you of being on base, and there are times when you despise it.
And then there are the times when you don't mind it as much. This is one of those times.
You hear the muffled sound of what must be him putting his phone in his pocket, and you close your eyes as you hear the soft click of the door handle through the speaker.
His footsteps are silent, even through the phone, and you feel ridiculous for ever thinking you'd hear it if he came home.
You can hear him as he takes down one intruder, and then what must be a second one.
He says nothing to them, that you can hear. But a series of dull thuds echo through the house before silence remains.
A few minutes go by of nothing, but you don't dare speak or open the door.
Ghost gave you an order, and you have no intentions of disobeying.
There are a few more moments of silence before you hear a crisp knock on the door.
"Lovey? You can open up now."
Breathing out a sigh of relief, you open the bathroom door and are immediately engulfed in Simon's strong arms.
He walks you backwards into the bathroom and squeezes you to his chest, mask hiked up over his nose so he can breathe in the scent of you.
"You all right, love?" He asks softly, his voice gruff and ever so rough.
"M'okay, Si. Thank you for coming home."
"S'my fault anyway. I shoulda locked the door before leavin' in a huff the way I did."
You frown and shake your head, pulling away to look up at him.
"This is in no way your fault, Simon. I could've easily locked the door after you. I'm just happy you got home in time."
Though you're not sure what the intruders really wanted, you're glad you didn't have to find out alone.
"I'll always come home."
And with those four words, he puts to rest not only the intruder situation, but also your argument from earlier.
Because he will. He'll always come home to you, regardless of what he needs to do, he'll make sure he comes home to you.
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violet-dragongirl · 2 years
Text
I get the goal of (most to nearly all) automation games and the one I'm currently playing (Satisfactory) out there is to exploit but honestly that shit is so fucking boring and tired and tried
I dunno like...maybe subvert the player's expectations of doing exploitation like...after a certain tier it's just not mechanically going to happen, maybe make it to where you have to be more environmentally aware of what you're building and why. Maybe make the player be more conscious of a smaller footprint on the map I dunno...
Just kind of tired that I HAVE to get every resource and HAVE to use every single usable space and make the world so humanly resource needing toxic or some shit.
Like again, I get that there can be Something To Say with that and telling the player that colonization and resource exploitation is Bad
But why not actually force the player to not Do That at some point in the game and actually consider alternative building to engage in smaller footprints across the maps available and just...
I dunno...something other than the tired and tried way of telling people the Bad of Resource Exploitation and Colonization
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unoislazy · 10 months
Note
Hello ! Sorry for my bad English, it's not my first language I do my best
First of all, I love how you write <3
Second, my request would be Hiccup getting jealous and confessing to fem!reader by accident
That's all !
Thanks for writing so well, I send you a little kiss
Hello!
Congrats you’re my first request!
I hope I could do your request justice, enjoy
Just Talk To Me!
Hiccup x Reader
Word Count: 2.8k words
Summary: You and Eret have gotten pretty close due to your constant fighting practice. Of course, a certain chief isn’t too happy about it but he has a bit of trouble trying to tell you why.
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“You’re getting better at this!” Eret praised, ducking under your fist as you swung at him. He continued to dodge your strikes as you smiled.
You both had begun sparring together a few months ago, after the whole Dragon War fiasco. You realized that without your dragon, you weren’t as strong or as agile as the other Vikings, so you asked Eret to help you train.
You swept your foot under him, finally taking him down and putting your foot on his chest, signifying that you had one the fight.
“Have I gotten better, or have you just gotten worse?” You asked teasingly, taking your foot off of him as he smiled up at you.
You held out your hand to help him up. He obliged, taking it as he stood up once again, wiping off his clothes from that dust that truly didn’t even seem to be there.
“You’ve certainly made improvements since day one. I can tell you that.” He said, stretching a bit. “You could definitely do well even without your dragon, if you’d ever need to.” He continued, looking back at both of your dragons who were simply chilling off to the side, as they often did when you two fought.
“Hopefully there never comes a time.” You said in a lighthearted tone, but you truly hoped there would never be a time where you’d have to fair without your dragon.
“I second that. It’s funny, I never thought I’d ever change my ways when it came to dragons. Yet here I am, looking after this beast.” Eret joked, patting Skull Crushers head lightly causing the dragon to groan and slightly shake its head in response.
“Well I’m glad you had it in you to change, who knows maybe I would’ve taken you down myself.” You gloated sarcastically, walking towards the pair as Eret smiled back at you, acknowledging your joke.
“Yeah you wouldn’t have made it even close.” He let out a chuckle as he watched your teasing smirk turn to a pout. You knew his teasing was all in good fun but realistically if it had come to it you would’ve taken him out if you needed to.
“Just cause I’ve gotten better doesn’t mean I wasn’t skilled to begin with.” You reminded.
“Fair. Now how about best two out of three?” Eret asked, getting into a fighting stance which you very quickly mimicked. Just as you both were about to start fighting you had heard a very familiar growl come from above. Your head shot up towards the noise and you spotted none other than Hiccup Haddock, the chief of Berk, flying above you.
“Guess not.” You joked, no longer standing in a ready position as you turned to face the aforementioned chief who had landed not too far away from the both of you. Hiccup hopped off of Toothless with ease, slipping his helmet off in the process, and walked over to the two of you with Toothless close behind.
“Morning you two.” Hiccup greated, earning a nod of acknowledgement from the both of you. “What are you guys doing all the way out here?” He asked but you noticed it wasn’t in the sense of his usual curiosity. There was an underlying tone that you could quite put your finger on so you figured you were just simply thinking too much into it.
You hadn’t really thought about it but you suppose you and Eret were more or less in the middle of nowhere in the woods. It was the most quiet place the two of you could find to practice in peace without going to the Arena.
“Eret and I have been sparring, I figured I should eventually learn how, considering most of my strength comes from them.” You said, gesturing to your dragon who was sleeping peacefully only to be startled awake by Toothless patting them on the head. You couldn’t help but laugh a bit, Toothless always reminded you of a cat in a way, you found it adorable.
“Alone?” Hiccup asked, which honestly surprised the both of you. You looked towards hiccup in confusion only to see the shock he had on his own face. Clearly he didn’t mean to let it slip out but it was too late to take it back now.
“Well no… our dragons are here with us?” You stated but you were so confused about the reasoning behind Hiccups question that you couldn’t seem to phrase it as anything other than a question. You all fell silent as Hiccup swayed his arms in an awkward fashion, something he only does when he’s trying to avoid talking about something.
Eret looked between the two of you, realizing he had no part in the conversation he simply cleared his throat.
“I’ll just leave you two be, I have some… things to take care of..” He excused himself, quickly hopping onto Skullcrusher and exiting the awkward situation as quickly as possible. Once Eret had flown away you quickly turned back to Hiccup who was clearly avoiding even looking in your general direction.
“Spill it.” You said bluntly causing Hiccup to finally make eye contact with you. His face held a confused look but you both knew what you were talking about.
“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.” Hiccup said, again clearly avoiding the topic as he walked over to Toothless. “Have you seen the new addition I added to Toothless’s tail?” It was clear he was trying to think of anything to change the subject because obviously there was nothing different about Toothless’s tail and you both knew that.
You crossed your arms as you stared at the brunette before you, your face holding an expression that clearly said ‘seriously?’. He dropped Toothless’s tail with a sigh before getting up and walking towards you. Silence quickly swept over the two of you as you continued to wait for Hiccup to say something. You raised an eyebrow at him before he blurted out,
“Have you seen the new scale armor?”, giving one more quick shot to derail the conversation.
“Hiccup.” You said quite sternly. “Spill it.” You repeated, your arms still crossed over your chest as you watched the man nervously fidget. He may be the chief but he still held some of his nervous quirks. Sure he had the ability to look powerful and calm when his people needed their chief, but when he wasn’t the ‘Chief of Berk’ he was just Hiccup.
Just Hiccup.
And you’d be damned if you said you didn’t love him. Ever since you met hiccup you knew he always tried to meet everyone’s expectations only to have a long history of falling short. Hiccup as he was was always overlooked, everyone looked to him to be ‘the Chiefs son’ the ‘next chief of Berk’ and the one he really struggled with, was ‘Stoick’s son’. No one ever truly looked at him as just Hiccup.
Well everyone except you.
You liked him from the very beginning when he was just a scrawny boy obsessed with earning his fathers approval. Did you have the courage to say anything about the way you felt? No of course not, why would you? As much as you loved to see him as ‘Just Hiccup’ you couldn’t deny the fact that he was still pretty far out of your league, especially given his title of ‘The Dragon Master’. What title did you have? Nothing.
Well you had the title of being one of his closest friends so you stuck with that as being enough for you.
“I just don’t think you and Eret should be so far away while training.” He finally spoke up. It was clear he was still keeping something from you but at least he gave you something to work with.
“Why?” You asked, trying to nudge more out of him. He put his hands on his hips. As he began to pace slowly in a circle.
“I don’t know, I just think it would be safer if you-“ Hiccup began only for you to cut him off.
“Hiccup we have two dragons here, one of them being Skull Crusher. I’d say it’s pretty safe to say nothings going to attack us out here.” You argued, now mimicking his pose with your hands on your hips.
“Well still I just don’t like the idea of you guys being alone.” He said, looking up at you. You rolled your eyes in response,
“Hiccup I already said, we’re here with the dragons. We’re not alone.” You stated as if it wasn’t getting through his head. It hadn’t even occurred to you that he was trying to hint at a different concern and you were missing the point entirely.
Your response only caused Hiccup to groan as his hand shot up to his face. He dragged his hands down his face as he turned around, now facing Toothless who simply looked at his friend in utter confusion. The dragon looked from you, then to Hiccup, then back to you. You simply shook your head with a shrug of your shoulders before Toothless walked away, deeming him your problem.
“Hiccup I don't understand why this is such a big issue to you, we used to be in the woods alone all the time together. You didn’t seem to have a problem with it then.” You stated quite bluntly.
“That was different!” He shouted. His face had ever so slightly turned the faintest hint of red, but it was still enough for you to notice. He seemed almost exasperated as you continued to swim around the very vague point that he was failing to get at.
“How was it any different than what me and Eret are doing? If anything it’s safer now because we’re both adults. Granted we did have a Night Fury with us back then…” You began to mumble to yourself, accidentally going off topic. Hiccup sighed, walking up to you and grabbing you by your shoulders. He was stern but still managed to be gentle as he forced you to look at him.
“I can’t control what you do or who you spend your time with, but I just don’t like that you and Eret spend so much time together, so far outside of the village, alone…” Hiccup said, practically laying it all out for you.
“Hiccup?”
“Yeah?”
“We’re not alone.”
Hiccup merely stared at you, eyes wide in shock as he tried to calculate your intelligence in that split second. He practically spelled it out for you and you still weren’t getting it.
What hadn’t occurred to him however, was that you had already caught on, you were just trying to get him to admit it himself. Granted, you had just caught on maybe seconds before, but you still thought it might be fun to mess with him a little. Besides, who were you to make the assumption that the Chief of Berk himself was jealous that you were spending time with another man. It could be considered a reach… Unless he just said it himself.
“Why don’t you want me to be alone with him so badly?” You asked, figuring you should try and at least break the loop that you two seemed to be stuck in.
“Because…” Hiccup began, trying to think of a way to phrase what he wanted to say. You waited patiently, just looking at him and occasionally switching your gaze over to the dragons who were chasing each other around.
“Because?” You repeated, waiting for his response. His green eyes staring back into yours. They looked almost as if they were trembling as they bounced between the features on your face.
“Why is it so hard to talk to you?” He shouted abruptly, quickly letting go of your shoulders and flung his arms into the air with an exasperated groan.
“If it was easier for you to tell me about the dragon you were keeping hidden from a village filled with bloodthirsty, war hungry Vikings, I’ m almost afraid of whatever this could possibly be.” You joked, trying to lighten his mood.
“It’s not the same thing.” He muttered in response as you laughed.
“How could anything you have to tell me be worse than that?” Hiccup sighed in response as he went back to pacing. Clearly it was his way of thinking about what to do next. It wasn’t a trait he often exhibited but you knew once he started pacing, whatever he was thinking about was pretty serious.
“It’s not about what I have to tell you, it’s about your response.” He finally said, you rolled your eyes lightheartedly. You’ve known this man for years, and in those years you’ve learned countless embarrassing facts about him that he had less of a problem about you knowing than ‘whatever he had to tell you’.
“What does my response have to do with anything? Hiccup, anything you have to tell me won't change anything.” You stated with a laugh as you tried to comfort him. You almost started to second guess what you thought he was going to tell you. If he was truly this worried about what he was going to say maybe it was actually a very serious matter?
“Ha, yeah you say that now.” He laughed sarcastically, quickly looking up at you before returning to his pacing.
“Hiccup, I'm serious.”
“So am I.”
If there’s one thing about Hiccup it was his stubbornness. Anyone would just shrug that off as a Viking thing but you knew if anything, it came from his father. As much as Hiccup would deny being able to compare to his father, he shared many similar traits with him. You knew it, his mother knew it, even Gobber knew it, but he frequently denied it.
Stubborn.
“Why are you so concerned about me and Eret in the first place?” You decided to bring up the last topic, because if he wasn’t going to get to the point, you were.
“Because…” He muttered quietly in response as if he was holding something back.
“Because what hiccup? Seriously, I know you have an issue with communication sometimes but you can't just keep dancing around the issue here-“ You rambled a bit but before you could continue, Hiccup interrupted you.
“Because I have feelings for you!” He blurted out suddenly.
You both froze. He turned away from you as you simply stared at him. He finally said it, he actually really said it.
“Hiccup…” You muttered quietly.
He didn’t move. He didn’t want to move. The last thing he wanted right now was to turn around and have to face the potential of rejection.
“Hiccup.” You called out again, walking towards him and lightly placing your hand on his shoulder. He finally turned towards you slightly, but he still refused to face you all the way. “You’re serious?” You asked, to which he simply looked at you with confusion.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“At least one of us finally admitted to it.” You joked. For some reason Hiccup had registered that you were making a joke, but not necessarily what you were joking about.
“Yeah okay, go on, laugh it out- wait.” Hiccup quickly turned back to you. You nodded with a smile, confirming his suspicion as he clearly thought he had misheard you.
“Wait but- for how long?” He asked excitedly, almost as if he didn’t believe you. “Oh this is great! I thought you were going to hate me for even saying anything about it, but you’re not! You feel the same-“ He cheered, slightly beginning to ramble as all of his previous anxiety seemed to just melt away.
You smiled as you watched him celebrate before quickly planting a quick kiss on his cheek.
The man froze before you, clearly not expecting even such a small act of affection. You never knew him to be entirely bold, you always saw him as a very awkward man, but you watched as the awkwardness practically jumped out a window for a split second or so as Hiccup grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer to him.
He was the last person you’d expect such a smooth act to come from, and honestly you didn’t mind it. His eyes drifted from yours to your lips in a matter of seconds as if he was silently asking for your approval, to which you nodded.
Before you knew it you were kissing the literal man of your dreams.
It was wonderful.
It was a very soft kiss, the perfect kind to be shared for the first time.
Once you pulled away you looked to hiccup before dramatically gasping.
“What? What is it?” Hiccup asked, panicking that he had done something wrong.
“Does that mean… you were jealous of Eret?” You asked with a joking smile.
“Oh come on- really?” Hiccup said, jokingly pushing you away with a laugh.
Safe to say you never let him live this moment down, and much to his dismay you had excitedly told your friends about it not too long after.
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