#But he gets to live with Doug now! So that's nice

[sysig]

The time for regrets has long passed (Patreon)

[munsonsprincess11111]

It wasn't even a secret...

Eddie munson x reader

Summary: you and Eddie are married even have a new born. But thr younger hellfire members don't know?

Dustin Henderson walks into the munson trailer and hears loud music coming from Eddie's room. He approaches the room and through the crack of the door and sees a manicured hand grabbing at Eddie's bedside table only to see Eddie's not ringed hand grab it and pull it out of sight.

That's all he saw, but he got the point and left the trailer and sat in Eddie's van, which he never locked until he saw the lady exit.

But what Dustin didn't see was your wedding ring on top of Eddie's on the bedside table.

-

Months later Dustin was washing his hands in the munson bathroom when he threw the paper towel in the trash he saw a pregnancy test. It was positive. Dustin didn't mention it to Eddie or anyone thinking it was probably private.

What Dustin didn't see was how Eddie hugged you when the test came back positive as you both cried happy tears and kissed sweetly.

-

Months later Dustin and Mike approach the hellfire table and notice Eddie's not there. Weird they thought he wanted to graduate this year why would he be having time off.

"Where's Eddie?" Dustin asked setting his tray down. Gareth looks at Dustin and frowns. "What do you mean where's Eddie you know he isn't gonna be in for A few weeks." Gareth says confused.

Only then do Gareth, Doug and Jeff realise they genuinely do not know. They wasn't gonna be the ones to tell him so that's how they ended up at Eddie munson trailer skipping school.

Eddie was fast asleep an arm draped over you. He awoke suddenly to banging on the door cursing under his breath. He stands up and stretched kissing your head and peaking into the bassinet next to your side of the bed, only to see his week old daughter starring up at him with her wide brown eyes.

"Hey little lady." HE says picking her up making sure to support her head. He cradles her and heads to the door to let you sleep a bit longer. He walks into the kitchen and puts the kettle on to warm a bottle for his daughter haley. Then he walks to the front door expecting Wayne or someone.

Only to be met with a stunned Dustin and Mike. "Hello?" Eddie says confused. He let's them in as they stare at him in shock. "Whats going on guys?" Eddie asked slightly freaked out hy the look on the twos face.

"You have a baby?!" Dustin half yells.

"Dude shut the fuck up." Eddie says annoyed bouncing his daughter slightly so she doesn't cry from Dustins outburst.

"No I won't you have a baby and you didn't tell us what the fuck." Dustin half yells again.

Eddie looks between the boys with a look of confusion on his face. You walk out of your bedroom into the living room after hearing all the shouting.

"What's going on?" You ask crossing your arms over your chest. Both the teens and Eddie look at you. Your stood confused. Haley then cries and everyone looks at her.

Eddie walks over to you sliding her into your arms and she immediately stops crying as you bounce her and cradle her making soft shh noises. "Whose that's?" Mike askes Eddie's attention turning from you and haley to the two teens but you speak up. "His wife." You answer looking at the two boys

"You have a baby and a wife. How didn't we know that." Dustin says eyes wide.

"OK everyone stop, fuck me. Right. I thought you two knew but clearly you don't. This is my wife y/n who I've definitely told you about. The one I've been dating since I was like 15 and am now married to?" Eddie says waving his arms infant of you as you smile.

"OH we thought that was a cruel joke." Mike says scratching his head. Eddie looks at the boys in disbelief.

"Wow OK. This is y/n and my daughter haley who I'm gonna go with you also thought was a joke." Eddie says questionably getting nods from the boys.

"Y/n this is Dustin and Mike." Eddie says pointing at the boys rubbing his eyes.

"Hi nice to meet you?" You say still confused.

The boys says hello awkwardly.

"OK, now that's cleared up. Is that really why you came here." Eddie asks, slightly annoyed. The boys nod and explain that Gareth wouldn't tell them. You're starring at Eddie, who's clearly stressed and tired. Then, down to the little baby in your arms.

Eddie warms a baby bottle while the two teens talk to Eddie about the baby as you sit on the couch in the living room. He walks in handing you the warm bottle. "Can you feed her?" You ask quietly. But Eddie hears you.

"Yeh, yeh of course sweetheart." Eddie says sitting on the couch. You pass her to Eddie once he's sat along with her bottle kissing Eddie's cheek then haleys head before walking to your bedroom to get stuff for A shower.

"SO you like have a child." Dustin says watching Eddie feed his daughter the bottle.

"Yes and a wife." Eddie answers.

"And you've been married..." Mike says

"2 years been together for 5." Eddie says, setting the bottle by his feet, leaning back on the couch and laying the baby on his chest, gently patting her back.

"And the others knew." Dustin says as Eddie nods.

"How long are you off school?" Mike askes.

"I'm just going back to do my finals. I won't be there any other time." Eddie says as the tiny baby burps. The two nod.

Moments later you walk back in, wearing a pyjama vest and Eddie's sweats. Your stomach has shrunk since the birth of haley and it makes Eddie smile seeing you comfortable enough to wear the vest as when she was first born you wouldn't take off his hoodie.

Not that it mattered to Eddie he loved you every shape and form and you grew his baby in you. When you mentioned your insecurity to Eddie just before haley was born he comforted you and said, "either way your sexy no matter what n you've got me. If.. that helps? Probably not but you get my gist."

You sat next to Eddie and he handed you haley. "Common ill take you two home no point in going back to school." Eddie says. He too the teens to Dustin house and then came straight home.

He entered thr trailer and headed to your bedroom to see haley asleep on your shared bed and you sat up looking at her giving Eddie a smile when he entered the room. Eddie strips of everything but his boxers.

"Now give me a twirl." You says smiling at him from the bed.

He turns slowly as you clap quietly before laying on his side next to you. "SO those are two of your friends?" You say raising your brows and Eddie nods putting an arm over your waist.

Eddie looks at you then to his daughter and smiles. Taking your hand and kissing it. You lean down and kiss him on the lips.

"I love you." HE says as your foreheads touch.

"I love you too."

"I love you more."

"I love you most." You smirk kissing him again.

Yeah Eddie was a happy man. He may still be in school but he's got everything he wants Sat right on his bed. His beautiful wife and tiny daughter.

-

Months later he graduated walking off the stage hugging you nice and tight laying a sweet kiss on your lips. Wayne holding 3 month old haley who's arm where flapping for Eddie. He took her from Wayne kissing her nose as she open mouthed his cheek.

The stunned look on Jason's face to see Eddie munson holding a baby in one arm with his hair and his other arm around your waist as your hand was behind haleys head. Eddie smirked to himself kissing your head. Wayne shooting him a proud smile and nod. The others soon came running over. "Finally man thought you was gonna end up going to school with haley." Gareth says smirking at Eddie.

"Shut up Gareth." You says earning a laugh out of Eddie.

"Y/n I'm wounded." Gareth says shocked.

"You heard the lady shut up." Eddie says smirking.

Gareth rolls his eyes.

Everyone stands and talks. Eddie saying haley needs feeding so you guys have to go. In reality you had fed her before and Eddie just wanted to go home.

"I am so proud of you." You say kissing his cheek.

"Yeah? Do I get a special treat for how proud you are." Eddie smirks.

"Maybe... you'll see when haleys in bed." You say smirking at him running a hand through haleys curls.

Yeah Eddie was right. 86 was definitely his year.

[cheer-nympho]

THE DUSTIN EXPERIMENT MOMENTS I THINK ARE CUTE OR NOTEWORTHY FOR YOUR FANDOM REFERENCE

Thread of moments from the official book, mainly Eddie info

Mainly Steve, Eddie and Robin or general character dynamics I think are interesting or cute, read this for fanfic help ig,

Copied from my thread on twitter- this book lays in the muddy zone canon wise BUT is officially licensed merch and signed off by the writers, enjoy!

QUICK HIGHLIGHTS: Eddie is canonically afraid of ducks, Eddie is not against Lucas being in basketball and is just worried about the kids driving each other away, Eddie jokingly flirts with male security guards

1. The jocks are SCARED of Eddie. They struggle to pick on him because they are afraid of him, and he can shut them up with ‘a look’

2. Steve picks Robin up from school to take her to her Family Video shifts so Dustin often tags along, and Stobin gossip the whole time

3. Robin is a BIG foreign films fan. She says art transcends language and Steve makes a joke that he struggles to care even when movies are in English. He took, and passed, French in high school

4. When teamed up and being serious, Steve and Robin give genuinely good advice out that is meaningful and ‘wise’. Theres a lot of fun banter with them in this second chapter, but they’re actually good at giving friendship advice to Dustin.

5. Patrick is genuinely nice, he welcomes Lucas in with open arms and a big wave- and its pissing me off having to hear all this “lucas was bad for leaving them for basketball” shit over again because he WASNT wrong and im annoyed the canon narrative tried to conclude that he was but anyway

6. Eddie makes a point of saying to not get the goths confused with the punks, and that youd learn that the hard way. He adresses his table as “ladies and gentlemen” even though there are no ladies… ‘as far as dustin can tell’

7. Unnamed freak is now apparently named Doug. Gareth is a thief, Jeff is a druid, ‘Doug’ is a barbarian. Mike is a D&D purist and thinks the expansions are pointless but lies to try and impress hellfire

8. FINALLY some outside canon acknowledgment that MIKE is the dm.

Eddie and Mike are described as having that DM gene that makes them captivating storytellers, Mike recounts a campaign to the hellfire table who listen on intently

9. Mike makes the pun “and he said ‘Beholder? I hardly Know’er!’” And the table of absolute dweebs laugh their heads off. Although Dustin is enjoying himself a lot, he thinks it would be better with Lucas

10. Eddies walkman is broken, and states he’d rather listen to Madonna that just silence when Gareth makes a joke.

Dustin offers to fix it and Eddie goes “no thats okay I got it” before repeatedly slamming it against the table.

11. Dustin and Eddie abusive dad bonding time. Dustin tells a story about how he took apart a radio piece by piece, and when Eddie comments that his dad would have ‘beat his ass’ Dustin states that his dad wanted to, but his Moms immediate reaction was to sign him up for science camp.

He states that, even though its not cool to say, he thinks his mom is awesome. A few months after the incident she divorced Dustins dad and moved them back to Hawkins, where she grew up.

12. Eddie made Dustin a metal mixtape to thank him for fixing his amp, with the note “Because man cannot live on Weird Al alone - Eddie”

13. Robin is trying to hit Steve in the head with a paper football while sarcastically scolding him for calling Eddie a ‘freak’

She then accuses him of being jealous of Eddie before hitting Steve square in the forehead with a rubber band

14. Steve and Robin immediately jump to Lucas’ defence, Steve calling “bullshit” on even the possibility of Lucas doing something wrong here.

He says Lucas is dealing with his own things, trying to figure himself out past popularity.

15. Eddie and Jeff are in a screaming match over who the better guitarist is: Tony Iommi or Glenn Tipton, and he’s effectively crawling across the table to yell in Jeff’s face,

Dustin immediately nopes out of that and goes to ask Robin for help, who is talking to ~Vickie~

16. Robin is the mediator in the boys friendship issues and has convinced them to try trust falling to make up again,and demonstrates it with Steve

Shes actually good at it, the boys have a bittersweet bonding moment where they realise theyre all just afraid of being left behind

17. Tension is alleviated when Steve reveals his greatest fear is the cartoon Turbo Teen

19. Eddie seems to have a secret, undiscussable fear of ducks. He says their eyes are enough to cause psychic damage and Dustin nites he looks serious.

So…Eddie has a dark past with a duck

20. More bad dad bonding. Eddie says the only good thing his dad left him was a sense of where the speed traps on highways are, and he notes that Dustin doesn’t mention his dad much.

He cheated on Dustins mom, and now Dustin has pretty much no contact with him.

21. While reassuring Dustin, Eddie admits he is afraid before every single performance. He says he isnt brave, isnt facing his fear- all he knows is that he just loves music more than he is afraid of everything else.

Which makes the master of puppets scene so much worse

22. The nerds at the science fair are also scared of how Eddie looks lmao, people move aside and almost create a path for him and Dustin while looking at Eddie sceptically-

The receptionist mistakes Eddie for Dustins dad also

23. Hes like, really afraid of ducks

24. Being left along for 5 minutes to babysit the duck Frodo, Eddie has amassed a crowd of nerds who he is telling scary stories to in his DM mode

A little girl asks “Mr. Eddie” if he’ll tell them more stories, and he says he will if she nails her presentation

25. Eddie, who was tasked with causing a distraction is dragged out of the hall by 2 guards while he says “Gentleman, if you wanted an excuse to feel my arms you could have just asked”

26. The kids (Lucas, Mike, Dustin) are surprisingly close to Robin! Dustin sees her as the best and most logical person to help them through their issues, and Lucas and Mike talk to her like any other member of the party,

Just some nice post s3 bonding stuff

27. When the party start fighting at the table about Lucas in basketball, Gareth tries to butt in and Eddie scolds him and tells him to keep out of it

Hes not against Lucas being in basketball, and tells Dustin to make up with him

DONE!! And heres some things I couldn’t manage to sum up in the same format, and some pages that I think are nice

[redroomreflections]

Not Easily Broken Chapter 2

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Natasha and Reader go through a tragic divorce

Masterlist | General Masterlist

2/10

Note: Yes, it's getting finished besties

W/c: 3.8k

You’re late. You’re really late. Not even just an ‘oh I got stuck in traffic I’ll be there late”. You’re the “I hope my daughter doesn’t hate me and harbor those feelings the rest of her life late.” As you bob and weave through traffic in your BMW SUV you curse to yourself. You feel stupid. Very stupid. There’s no way you can ever make up for this but you can certainly try to.

As you pull onto the street of what was once your home you squint just a little to see how many people are still there. You can see the cars lining the street start to dissipate as you pull into the driveway. Natasha is on the porch talking to one of the people you recognize from Emma’s dance class. She spots you, rolling her eyes and angling herself, so you’re not in her vision. Parking the car, you look over to the passenger’s seat where Emma’s gift is wrapped in yellow paper (her favorite color) and a bright pink bow. You turn the car off with a sigh. You really did it this time. You unbuckle your seatbelt and reach over to grab the present and exit. You walk slowly up the pathway marveling at all of the decorations that Natasha has put up for Emma’s fifth birthday.

Five. Your baby girl is five and you’ve missed her birthday party. One Natasha had gracefully invited you to. Briefly, your mind flashes back to the mornings where you and Natasha would wake the little girl up with breakfast in bed. Mini pancakes, strawberries, her favorite juice. You would go the whole nine yards for her. Now you’ve done everything but that. You reach the edge of the steps with a small wave to Natasha’s guests.

“Kerry, Doug, nice to see you again.” You give them a tight smile hoping to appear calm even though don’t feel that way.

“I’ll call you,” Natasha says bidding them goodbye. She doesn’t speak until they’re down the path and in their car. She trails her eyes over to you still in your work clothes with an apologetic look on your face. “Unbelievable.” She scoffs turning to go inside the house. You follow after her with an apology at the tip of your tongue. She starts collecting the trash she sees around the living room.

“I’m sorry, I got sidetracked at work,” You begin.

“You don’t have to apologize to me.” She shrugs. Pushing her hair behind her ear she glances at you. “I’m not the one turning five and I’m not your wife.” Something about the last part of that statement strikes you right in the heart. The divorce has been finalized for eight months now. Eight months and you’ve barely seen each other. Only during pickups and drop-offs. Even then you barely speak. Hearing her voice is...nice. Even if she is angry with you.

“I know but I’m really making an ass of myself,” You shake your head. “Where is she?”

“Backyard,” She answers.

“She must hate me,” You mutter more to yourself.

“She doesn’t hate you,” Natasha walks to the kitchen and again you follow. “She’s just really confused on why her Mommy said she would be here and wasn’t.” She gives another wave to one of the last guests and they trickle out of the house.

“Yeah,” You say following closely behind her. She stuffs the trash into the bin carefully.

As she stands to her full height you take a second to look at her. She’s gorgeous. Her hair flows behind her back longer than she’s ever let herself allow it to. Her eyes are just as expressive and beautiful. God, you’ve missed her.

You open your mouth to speak but you’re interrupted when a familiar figure steps into view. Richard Matthews. An agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Natasha’s new partner. He accompanies the Avengers on missions every now and again. You’re not exactly sure why but he’s always paired up with Natasha on missions and it never really bothered you until now.

“Everything’s all set with the kiddos,” Richard says to her. He completely ignores you and you can’t really tell if that’s intentional. The way he steps into Natasha’s space makes you think they’re closer than she’s letting on. “Emma’s having a blast with the new American doll I got. Says she’s gonna sleep with it tonight.” He smiles down at Natasha. “Will you be okay here? Ryan helped me with a lot of the backyard so there’s not much else to clean.”

“Yeah, I got it.” Natasha nods glancing over at you. She can see how uncomfortable Richard makes you feel. “Thank you, Richard.” She raises her hand to rest lightly on his bicep. You narrow your eyes. Clearing your throat they both look towards you.

“Oh, y/n, I didn’t see you there.” Richard feigns innocence.

“I’m sure you didn’t, Dick.” You say with every ounce of disdain. You can see Natasha’s lips quirk in amusement but she quickly hides it.

“Well, I’m gonna go.” He says before giving her a kiss on the cheek. He lingers before walking past you towards the front door. You two don’t break eye contact until he’s gone.

“That guy is a real tool,” You roll your eyes.

“He’s nice and he’s a part of the team.” Natasha shrugs. She steps over to the sink to do the dishes giving you the idea that this entire conversation is over. You want to ask her if she’s seeing him. If he’s more than just her partner. You’re not entitled to any of those answers and Natasha won’t be afraid to tell you.

“I’m just gonna go,” You wave the gift in your hand heading towards the back door. Once you’re out there you finally exhale. From the porch, you can see the giant pink bounce castle that both of your children are currently playing in. You go down the steps content to watch them for a moment. It’s Ryan who spots you first. Before all of this, he would have scrambled out of the bounce house to meet you halfway. Instead, he just stands there.

“Mommy!” Emma breaks you from your trance flopping onto her bottom. She slides out of the bounce house to run into your arms. You catch her twirling around in your arms. “You came!”

“I did, baby girl.” You kiss both of her cheeks.

“You missed my party though,” She reminds you.

“I know, Mommy’s so sorry,”

“It’s okay,” Emma forgives you. She wraps her arms tightly around your neck again.

“I got you something,” You jiggle the box in your hand. She leans back to inspect it her eyes widening. “Let’s go ahead and open it.” You let her down to stand on her own two feet. She takes your hand dragging you over to the picnic table on the other side of the yard. She’s small so it takes her a minute to sit correctly but when she does she beams up at you. Her socked feet swing underneath the table as she waits for you to hand her the present. You place it in front of her and take your spot next to her. She doesn’t hesitate to rip into the paper tossing the bow somewhere in the grass behind her. You can hear the sound of someone sliding out of the bounce house and you look over to see Ryan stepping closer.

“Hey bud,” You greet.

“Hi,” He says softly. You raise an arm beckoning him over to come to give you a hug. He presses himself against you as you hold him close. “I missed you.” He mumbles into your neck. Through this entire divorce, your relationship with him has been strained. Everything has been strained.

“I missed you too.” You whisper back. You give him a soothing kiss on his head. He doesn’t let you go as you both watch Emma to see her reaction.

“Wow!” She says pulling the last pieces of paper from the gift. She turns the box over and over in her hands. “I got a watch!” It’s not some fancy watch. You’re not that out of touch with reality. It’s an Apple watch. The most she can do on the thing is take pictures, use the phone features, and use a calculator. She loves it all the same as she hugs the box to her. After hearing what Richard got her you were apprehensive about it being enough. Sitting here watching her cherish this gift you know you picked correctly. “Can I call you on it?” You nod. “Every night?” You nod again. “Cool!” She cheers.

There’s a squeak coming from the back door and you know Natasha has come to the back porch.

“Can I go show Mama?” She asks you.

“Go, show her.” She turns from the picnic table rushing over to Natasha to show off her cool new present. Natasha looks down at the box and then back to you with a raise of her brow. She doesn’t share in Emma’s excitement but she tells the girl how cool it is.

“How are you doing?” You turn your focus to Ryan. He shrugs. “You sure?” He nods silently.

“Ryan, come on, it’s almost bedtime,” Natasha says. “I want to check your backpack before the night is over.” She ushers Emma inside.

“Guess we better go and check those backpacks.” You say rising to your feet. Ryan clasps your hand in his and you both move to walk inside of the house. It’s there Natasha is setting up Emma’s watch. “Patience, Printsessa.” Natasha scolds lightly. She presses a few buttons on the screen.

“Can Mommy stay for bath time?” Emma asks innocently. Your eyes fly to Natasha’s. You haven’t done that in a while.

“Please?” Ryan joins in. Natasha’s resolve is broken as she gives a meek “yes.” The children cheer in unison.

Guess you’re staying for bedtime.

This takes almost two hours to get both children through their nightly routine. Emma is more reluctant to fall asleep as she doesn’t want to miss you leaving. You tuck her into bed with a kiss and a promise to see her again soon. She pulls the American girl doll under the covers with her. You wait for her to fall asleep before leaving her room. Ryan is next and he’s much easier. He climbs into bed all on his own with his back turned to you. He’s conflicted and you being here is not making it easy on him. You sit on the bed beside him. You press a kiss to the back of his head.

“I love you,” You say before reaching over to turn off his lamp. You exit his room leaving his door cracked. You amble down the hallway to the stairs. You find Natasha in the front room gathering all of Emma’s new presents that she would put into their proper place later.

“Thanks for letting me stay to tell them goodnight,” You say awkwardly.

“Don’t mention it,” She dismisses tossing the last of the toys into a pile. The house is pretty much clean now save for the leftovers she has to put away. She’s not kicking you out as you follow her down the same path into the kitchen.

“Natasha,” You begin. stopping yourself when you realize you don’t really have anything to say. “Thank you for inviting me. I know you didn’t have to do that. I feel like a jerk. Especially with how things have been going.”

“How have things been going?” Natasha busies herself with pushing the leftovers into whatever Tupperware they can fit into. She curses turning to look for a lid for this particular bowl. “Where is it?” She searches.

“Bottom right cabinet,” You inform her. She pauses before moving over to search the cabinet you gave her. She finds what she is looking for and turns back to the food.

“Things have been going good.” You continue your earlier conversation. “Work is work. My mom is doing well. She sends her love. I can’t complain.” You watch her stuff the fridge full.

“Well I’m glad things are going well for one of us,” She slams the door of the fridge a bit harder than intended. “Not all of us are able to abandon our motherly duties.”

“Natasha, I’m trying my best here.” You say immediately knowing what she means.

“That’s what pisses me off the most,” She says exasperatedly. “They’re so good with you just trying. They don’t care how many times you mess up. They don’t care if you don’t do something. They don’t care if you’re having a bad day and you’re doing everything to make them happy. They don’t care if you don’t show up for their goddamn birthdays but it’s me that get’s the brunt of the madness and the anger.” She slams her hands against the counter. Running her hand through her hair, she shakes her head. “Do you know Ryan got into a fight at school the other day? He’s been...angry these days. I’m considering seeing a therapist with them.” She nods to herself. “Emma’s been giving me hell too. I wouldn’t allow her to watch tv one night because I dislike them having so much free time. She threw a tantrum.” She swallows thickly. “She told me, she told me she hates me and that she wishes she could come live with you.” The unshed tears in her eyes break your heart into a thousand pieces. “So, yes trying your best doesn’t really fly with me.”

“Natasha, I’m,” There’s no amount of apologizing that could take that hurt from her. “I’ll talk to them. I’ll take them out for dinner and we can talk.”

Natasha sighs. She knows this isn’t something that can be fixed with a simple talk. She lets her tears fall freely. You hate that this is what you’ve done to your family. Stepping around the counter you reach out to her. It’s reminiscent of that night all those months ago when you left. All you want to do is make it better. Make her feel better. Your emotions are conflicting as you bring your fingers up to caress her cheek. She stands stock-still closing her eyes at your touch. You rub your thumbs across her cheeks clearing away the tear tracks.

“I’m sorry,” You say and she lets out a sob.

“You’re not sorry,” She shakes her head.

“No, Natasha, I’m sorry,” You say firmly. You’re hoping she can hear the sincerity in your voice. She opens her eyes searching your face for a lie. You get lost in the forest of her eyes. So trusting and loving even with all of the pain you’ve brought your family.

You don’t know who makes the move first. Your lips meet tentatively. There’s a hint of familiarity that comes from nine years of marriage. The kiss is soft and sweet. Her lips glide over yours in a slow, languid motion. It’s not lacking in passion. Quite the opposite actually. Her mouth is hot and wet and hungry for you as your tongues meet. Taking in her flavor, you moan. She tastes like leftover cake with a hint of toothpaste. You pull back slightly to suck her bottom lip into your mouth. You nip it gently and the moan it elicits from Natasha only spurs you on. Her arms come up to wrap around your neck pulling you closer as you push her gently towards the counter. Her back is pressed against it as you kiss her harder. You spend a few more moments wrapped up in each other. Your hands roam her body tracing over every curve.

The need for air becomes too great as you pull away to trail kisses down her neck. You lick at her pulse point before giving it a soft bite. She moans a bit louder tensing under you. You’re moving fast and hurried as you push her tank top over her breast. You move the cup of her bra to expose her nipple taking the rosy bud between your lips. You give it a hard suck and she gasps loudly. Her hands push your head closer to her as you swipe your tongue across her nipple. Your right-hand slides down to trace the front of her jeans.

“Please,” She says in her lust-filled haze. You flick the button of her pants open skirting your fingers under the waistband of her underwear. She’s wet. So wet. You slide your fingers through her folds collecting her wetness. On one particular slide, you bump her clit causing her hips to jump. You trace her opening and she’s panting now. When your fingers slip inside of her she lets out a yelp. You push until you’re at the second knuckle. You can hear the sound of her arousal and it is music to your ears. Natasha has always been loud during sex and this is no exception. You abandon her breasts to return your lips to hers.

“Shh, baby, you don’t want to wake them,” You whisper into her ear. She nods shakily as she tries to fuck herself on your fingers. You thrust harder sending her reeling as she reaches blindly behind her for the counter. “Good girl,” She flutters around your fingers, and god damn you want to stay like this forever.

“Harder,” Her breath is airy and hurried. She’s close. You listen thrusting into her harder, faster, deeper. Her brows are knit together as she chases her orgasm. You can feel the way she tightens around your fingers.

“He doesn’t fuck you like this does he?” You breathe close to her ear. “Doesn’t take care of you like I do,” The moment is over faster than you know it. Suddenly Natasha is pulling away and pushing you away from her. It’s like a bucket of ice-cold water has been dumped on you as she takes a huge step away. She’s buttoning her jeans and wiping at her mouth as you try to catch your breath. “What? What happened?”

“You can’t be serious?” She says. “You think I’m fucking him?”

“Natasha,” You drop your hands to your sides. She pushes her shirt down over her breast and you immediately miss your closeness.

“No, no, you cannot be serious.” Natasha turns to catch her breath. “You don’t have the right,”

“Fuck, I didn’t mean to assume. He was close to you, kissed you.”

“On the cheek,” She whips her head to look at you. “He comes over sometimes to help with the kids. They like him. That’s not any of your business if I was fucking him or not by the way. You lost that when you served me with the divorce papers.”

A wave of anger washes over you. Swiping your hand across the counter you cause all of the glasses she dried earlier to crash to the ground.

“Fuck,” You yell. The glass resting at your feet satisfies you. It’s a representation of how you’re feeling right now. Natasha jumps back avoiding the glass from touching her. She looks down at the mess in surprise before looking back at you. You both wait in anticipation for one of the kids to come down. They don’t.

You rush out of the back door to sit on the steps. You bend so your head is between your knees. The blood rushes there and you cough hoping to catch your breath. The backdoor creaks. A comforting hand is placed upon your back as Natasha comes to sit next to you.

“Breathe, y/n.” She hums. You’re having a panic attack. She sits with you so patiently as your breathing becomes normal again.

“I’m not good for them,” You say. “I’m just like him.” You whisper brokenly.

“No, y/n, you’re not.” Natasha lifts your chin to look at her. “You’re not.”

“But you said-”

“I know what I said,” Natasha interrupts. “You’re nothing like him. I only wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me.” The admission sits between the two of you.

“Fuck,”

She returns her hand to her lap.

“I can’t…” You struggle. “It wasn’t making sense. Any of it. It doesn’t make sense. One minute we were happy and the next we weren’t. We became too much. I couldn’t make you happy anymore. Emma told me during her bath that she hears you crying at night when you think she’s asleep. I never meant to do any of this. I never meant it, Tasha.” You cry. You mean it. You ran. You did what you do best and ran.

“I know,” She says solemnly. “You never asked me if I was happy.” You lift your head to look at her questioningly. “You said you couldn’t make me happy anymore but you never asked me. You never ask you just assume. I’ve always been happy with you. Back during our days in the tower, when we got married, when we were pregnant with Ryan.” She names. “Even when we weren’t having sex and not communicating and fighting all of the time. I never once thought that we would end.” You’re surprised by that. All this time you thought you were doing the right thing for everyone and now you don’t know if it was the right thing at all. “Couples have rough patches. Tony and Pepper did. Thor and Jane. Clint and Laura. They got through it. I thought we could too. When you handed me those papers -- my entire world stopped, y/n. I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought maybe you found someone else. I thought so many things. But that I didn’t see coming.”

“I’m sorry,” It’s your turn to cry now. “I didn’t want this.” You shake your head. “I fucked up.” You say.

“Is this because you think I’m sleeping with someone else?”

“Partly,” You admit. “I have had some time to think and I just… I thought I was doing what’s best for us. You’re right I didn’t ask you. I assumed. I pulled away. I’m so sorry, Natasha. I never stopped loving you or wanting you. Even though all of that.” Natasha’s breath hitches through your admission.

“Then why?” She asks. “Why did you leave me?”

You don’t have a single answer. “I thought you were better off without me.”

“How could you ever think that?” She asks. You don’t have an answer for her.

“I have to leave in the morning,” You say. The moment is broken and though Natasha thought you were getting somewhere it’s clear you haven’t. She moves to stand and you catch her wrist. “Come with me. It’s a week in Florida. Come with me. You and the kids.”

“Y/n, we can’t just leave in the morning.” She says. “The kids have school and I have work.” You deflate. Of course not. You shouldn’t have asked. “But we could meet you there Friday night? Gives us time to pack and get everything in order with their teachers.” She’s giving you a chance. You stand to look at her. “The moment we come back we’re in therapy. All of us.”

“Yes, yes, of course.” You promise.

“Don’t break my heart again,” She begs quietly. “I don’t think I’ll survive this time.”

“I won’t.” You pull her into your arms. Standing here with her you wonder how you ever thought you could be without her.

---> next part

[breadandblankets]

when his parents are fully recovered, Duke still spends his weekends at the manor with the bats

that would take a looooooong time imo, there is a period of time its like a year maybe two where Duke just kinda Hovers over his parents, like if he lets them out of eyesight (of which he has a Lot of mind you) theyll just up and disappear

the fact that he has to leave for hours at a time to attend classes or be a hero Kills him every time

it comes to a point where his parents have to basically throw him out, tell him he can't waste his whole life watching over them, that he needs to live for himself

he doesn't know how to tell them that he doesn't remember how to be himself anymore, its the part of him that is most like Bruce, he doesn't know who he is without the mission

"Living in fear isn't living babybird," his mom has to tell him. "You're surviving, nothing more."

"Life is hard, its sad, its confusing and it gives you no instructions or hints," his dad continues. "Its a bunch of leaping without looking and thats just that."

Here's something instead, the bats come to Duke. Wayne money puts them in a nice townhouse on the lower west side, its more than big enough for the three of them (so much so that Doug complains about dusting it all, but manages it anyway)

luckily its never just the three of them

babs takes the subway a little ways off from old gotham on fridays after work, she brings muffins from the little bakery around the corner and talks with Duke's parents for long enough to be invited for dinner

cass swings by when she's getting off patrols and duke is starting his, she brings coffee and funny stories to tell, she's there so often that it might as well be her third home, on rotation from the manor and the clocktower, she soaks up easy affection like a cat in a sunbeam.

damian comes by on saturdays, elaine puts on a pot of tea (something she got at some point or another, its all just a routine by now) they sit in near total silence while they drink their tea, damian does his homework, and elaine devours the newspaper, she reads him the funnies and when duke gets back, they play mario cart and try not to kill each other

Bruce starts off awkwardly at first he feels immense guilt for what happened to Duke and his parents and doesn't really know how to express it outside of sullen silences, it's been so long since the last time they met that he's not even sure he's welcome, he is quickly disabused of the notion, and is now regularly goes with the Thomas's to Knights games

Idk sometimes the manor is too cold too full of ghosts to full call it home, sometimes u need to drag your nocturnal found family kicking and screaming into warmth and light

[schrijverr]

All the Things Evan Never Wrote Maddie About

An addition to chapter 3 to 6, wherein we get everything Buck – or Evan back then – never wrote on the cards to Maddie. The things he wanted to write her about, but stopped himself from ever sharing, especially when he was living in El Paso, raising Chris by himself.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie (pre-slash)

Warnings: referenced child abandonment (Shannon), referenced homophobia, referenced emotionally abusive parents, referenced Doug

~~~

Dear Maddie,

Remember that girl I told you about? The one that comes by the farm? Yeah, it’s actually a little more complicated than that and it didn’t work out. She left her four year old with me and left the state. Don’t worry, his dad came to get him! But he was so stressed. His name is Eddie. He and the girl, Shannon, are divorced. I’m watching Chris tonight. Eddie works the night shift. After me accidentally letting Shannon run, it’s the least I can do. Besides, Chris is a sweet kid and I don’t have anything better to do anyway.

Hope you’re doing okay and your love life is going better than mine. Is Doug still a dick? Did you leave him yet? I hope so.

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

Uh, so I’ve accidentally started co-parenting Chris with Eddie. You don’t know who these people are, but they’re great. Eddie is my only friend here and Chris is such a great kid. I should be out there traveling probably, but I don’t want to. Is that weird? I like raising Chris. But am I too young to be a parental figure to him? I hope not. It feels nice to raise Chris. It feels nice to help Eddie out and he seems to appreciate my help. I hope I’m not overstepping, because I like my place here. Any tips?

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

Guess I’m officially staying with Eddie and helping him with Chris. His mom found out that I was helping and had a screaming fit. She doesn’t like me much, but I don’t think she likes anyone. Still, I get it, it’s not like I know anything about parenting, but Eddie does. He’s my age. I should figure it out if I follow his lead right? Do you know anything about raising kids? Please send advice.

Also I got fired by Mr. and Mrs. Johnson over it, which sucks, but Eddie is letting me sleep on the couch until I figure it out. He’s a good friend like that. I hope you have good friends too. What are you up to? Still with Doug?

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

Chris has to have surgery for his CP and I’m scared. It’s not his first and it probably won’t be his last, but he’s just so small. Chris is the kid I’m helping to raise, by the way. Surprise! Uhm, that felt weird. I didn’t want to worry you and I guess this will worry you. I didn’t mean to. Sorry. I don’t have anyone to talk to. Other than Eddie of course. But he’s also scared. I don’t want to make it worse. You’re a nurse, ER not pediatrics, but still, can you make me less scared?

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

I never send my other card, but Chris has to have another surgery. He has CP and he’s only five. I’ve been helping Eddie take care of him after his mom walked out. He’s a champ, stayed cheery through most of his previous hospital stay and made it through just fine. But here I am, worrying again. And worrying you. I didn’t want to do that. You’re probably busy with hospital shift yourself. I have such a respect for your job. I already did, but the nurses here are great. Thank you for that.

Wish you were Chris’s nurse. Wish you were here. It’s so selfish, but it’s true. Chris is asking for his mom, but Shannon blocked both me and Eddie. He can’t even have that and he cried so much and nothing we could do helped. You probably would have known what to do. I miss you.

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

Did I ever tell you mom and dad made me give the money back? Because they did and I kind of regret saying yes to that now. Surgery is expensive. Don’t worry, I’m fine! Chris had to get surgery. He’s doing fine too, it really helped with his CP symptoms, definitely worth it, but my construction job and Eddie’s night guard salary isn’t going to cover it.

Do you think I could call them from money? I haven’t spoken to them since I left, but they wouldn’t deny a kid, right? Well, maybe they would. They probably think I’m being stupid. Could you ask and then give me the money? No. Nevermind, forget that. I don’t want to create trouble for you with Doug. Or did you leave him? Wish you would reply to me, I can use someone smarter than me to bounce ideas off. Though Eddie counts there.

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

Eddie is going to re-enlist. You don’t know who that is, but he’s my friend. Will be my husband I guess, which is a little weird. It’s nothing romantic though. And it’s going to be a quick courthouse wedding, so no need to come out. Though, I’m not sure if you would anyway. I miss getting a card back from you. It would be nice to have someone here who is on my side. Eddie is, but he’s going to leave. It is the best with bills and I’m so happy he trusts me with Chris, but I’ll miss him. He’s my best friend. My only friend, really. That’s a little sad. I’m doing great, I promise. We’re figuring it out. I hope you are doing great too.

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

You’re officially an aunt! Congratulations and surprise! I adopted this kid, Chris. He’s five now. Me and Eddie, his dad got married as friends. It’s a long story, but it’s for financial reasons and so Eddie’s parents don’t take Chris. They kind of suck. Anyway, we went to court today and I’m now Chris’s dad, so that’s cool. At least, I hope you’ll think it’s cool. I do. Raising Chris is the best job I’ve had so far, he’s an amazing kid, you’d love him.

Maybe you can come meet him some time? But don’t tell mom and dad. Or Doug. They’d just be assholes about it. I promise it’s not as stupid as it sounds. I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want to worry you, but I’ve already been raising Chris with Eddie for a year now and I’ve gotten a hang of the whole parenting thing.

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

Chris called me papi today! I’ve already been his dad legally for a bit and unofficially for a year, but still, that’s an upgrade! I also didn’t mention any of this before now. Is it a weird thing to drop on you that you’re an aunt because I’m excited about being a dad? Also, Chris is part Mexican, my Spanish is a lot better. Señora Smith would be proud of me. So the papi thing isn’t too weird, though I’m not fully used to it yet.

I hope you’re also having a good time and having good news happening to you. I wish I knew what was going on in your life. I feel like I must be missing so much. Hope I’ll get a card back!

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

Eddie found out today I didn’t tell you about him and Chris. So, uh, he is my husband and Chris is my kid. He’s five. I’m writing this, because I feel bad now. I honestly didn’t think he’d mind, but he seemed so surprised, so maybe I should tell you?

Before I didn’t tell you, because I was just helping out a friend, but then Eddie and I got married so I could adopt Chris and it’s all official now. But I also didn’t tell you, because I’m scared. Not of you, but of mom and dad. And Doug. Eddie understood when I explained, but I still feel weird about it now.

I just I don’t want to be mean, but Doug scares me. I know you love him, but he always felt like bad news and I don’t want him near Chris, or know he exists and where he lives. God, I’m such an awful brother, which is also why I don’t want to tell you, because what kind of person thinks like that over their sibling’s spouse? It would suck if you thought Eddie sucks and I’m not even in love with the guy.

And then you have mom and dad, I know I can ask you not to tell, but what if it slips out? They already think I’m a loser, they probably think this is a stupid decision too. Even if I love being Chris’s dad. I don’t want to deal with them. I’ve already ran, I don’t need them back to judge me. Am I horrible for that? Will you hate me when you find out? I hope not. I hope we’ll meet again and I can tell you and you’ll be happy for me. I hope I get the courage to send another card. Or this one, but I don’t know. I’m scared, Maddie.

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

So, I didn’t end up sending any of my cards about this, but my in-laws hate me. They already did before, but they weren’t my in-laws then. I’m raising this amazing kid, Chris, with my best friend, Eddie. He has to re-enlist to pay bills though, so we got married so I can continue to raise Chris while he’s gone. His parents just found out and… they aren’t happy.

I don’t think mom or dad would be happy for me either, but at least I didn’t have to hear them yelling at me about it, like Eddie had to. Are you also mad at me for it? I hope not. It makes me happy. Wish you were here.

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

Life totally sucks. Eddie left for his service and getting Chris to let him go was a nightmare. I never want to do that again, but that’s a part of being a parent, right? Making hard choices? I don’t like it. I hate it when he cries. And my in-laws still hate me too. They spread all sorts of nasty shit around town and everyone is avoiding me. Is it really that bad to marry a man just to help out with his kid? I’m not doing anything weird, I swear. I just want to help and Chris is an amazing kid. Eddie needed help and I helped. That’s it. I miss having Eddie here. I miss having back up. I know he had to go, but it still sucks.

I’m sorry, I’m whining. And you have no context for this. It’s a long story. I’m doing fine for the most part. My boss doesn’t care about the rumors, so that’s nice. See, not all bad. Positives! I hope you have some positives in your life too. It would be sad if we were both having a bad time. Tell me about it sometime?

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

How worried should I be that Chris is barely speaking? He’s just a kid and his dad just had to leave after his mom already did, but Eddie’s still calling him. He speaks then. Do you think that will go over or not? Have you seen something like this before? Is it normal for kids to react like this? I mean, I miss Eddie too, but it’s not the same, so I have no idea. I’d usually ask him, but, you know, he’s not here. I miss him about as much as I miss you. I could really use someone in my corner right now. God that’s so needy

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

I have a situation and I need advice, so you get a letter instead of a card. You always give the best advice. At least, you used to. I’m pretty sure you still do, but you haven’t been talking back in a while. I’m not even sure you’re still getting these, but I hope you do, because I can really use your help.

Okay, so, a little bit of backstory. Remember that girl it didn’t work out with? Well, she was a mom and it didn’t work out, because she abandoned her kid. Crazy, I know. Anyways, Chris is a great kid. I helped out his dad, Eddie for a bit and it spiraled out of control and we’re married now. Surprise! It’s just a friends thing, though. It was so I could adopt Chris, because Eddie had to re-enlist to pay medical bills (Chris has CP). So, it’s been me and Chris these past few months and it’s gonna be for the next year or so.

With that out of the way, my situation: Chris’s old PT place was homophobic. I tried to explain that we weren’t gay (not that it should have mattered) but they wouldn’t listen or help Chris, so I switched him over to this new place. And I told him not to mention Eddie. I know, I’m horrible!

I’m just worried that they’ll be homophobic again and then the next best place is three hours by car away, I can’t work enough to keep up with it all and drive Chris all the way there, plus gas is expensive and asking Helena (my mother-in-law, I suppose) will only end in her being terrible about it and lording it over me.

It’s the best thing to just not say and I made sure that Chris wouldn’t realize what happened. He has to deal with enough already, you know. But here is the worst part. I also didn’t tell Eddie. I don’t want to worry him, you know. He’s all the way across the ocean in a war zone and I’d just be bothering him, but I also feel like I’m erasing him, while I never want to do that. But I don’t know what to do. Did I make the right choice? Or should I tell him?

I’m sorry about dumping all this on you. That’s a lot of new information. Hopefully you don’t hate me too for keeping you out of the loop. I didn’t want to worry you. Sorry.

I hope your life is going well and you don’t have to grapple with your morals. Though, I suppose as an ER nurse, you make difficult decisions every day. You always keep such a cool head. I miss that. I wish I was more like you. I wish I knew what to do.

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

People have only just started normal around me at the grocery store, but school pick up is still very uncomfortable. And Helena is wearing me down. I hope Chris won’t notice. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. It’s exhausting. I miss you. I want a hug. I want you here. I know I’m being a baby, but god, I just don’t want to be so alone for a moment.

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

Sorry for the tear splatters on the card. It was Chris’s sixth birthday today. Chris is my kid. Adopted. You would know that though, since I was still in Hershey when I was 19, but I guess I could have knocked a girl up on the way out. I’m sorry, that was cynical. But yeah, adopted a kid. It’s a temporary thing. Eddie, his dad, will come back. He has to. He’s serving oversea.

Yesterday was a nightmare. Chris blew out his candles on a video call with Eddie. I tried really hard to make it a good day. I hope it was. But Chris deserved better. Better than I can give him. I’m not his father, not in the way Eddie is. I keep fucking up. I thought I could do this, but I can’t.

Do you think mom and dad ever felt like this? Probably not. They should have. You made my birthdays better. Thank you so much for all of that. I never said, but I appreciated it.

God, this is depressing. I hate it here. I hate myself. I hate that Eddie had to go, I hate that Shannon left, I hate that Helena and Ramon were there when Eddie was supposed to be. I hate that you’re so far. I hate that I’m never enough. I hate it all.

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

I’m so alone. Please, send a card back. Just a small one. I just need to hear from someone, anyone, that doesn’t hate me. Please. I love you. You’re the best sister I could have asked for. So, please, please.

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

My husband almost died today. You don’t know I have a husband and I don’t. Technically. Eddie married me for convenience. He’s in the army. And he nearly died. They had to airlift him to Germany to get him the care he needs. I could have lost him. I thought he died when they called. He’s my best friend and Fuck, Maddie, I’m in love with him. I’m in love with my husband, who is not my husband. I’m in love with my best friend. And he could have died. I was so scared. Still am.

What if Eddie gets an infection and dies anyway? Will I have to raise Chris by myself? Can I do that? What if Eddie makes it? What if he divorces me and I’m all alone again? We said we would, but I don’t know if my heart can take saying goodbye. Not to him and not to Chris. Fuck, why did I ever get into this mess?

I wish you’d talk to me, so you can tell me it’s going to be okay. You’re an ER nurse, what do you about catching three bullets in your body? Is that a thing you see often? Will he die? Will I become a widower?

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

I’ve been very mature and collected about being in love with Eddie. You’d be proud of me. I think. I have been thinking before acting, planning things, not doing anything reckless. That’s progress, right?

Eddie is my best friend/platonic husband, by the way. He nearly died. Okay, this card is already a mess and a long story stacked on top of a long story, but know that I’ve been doing well. I’m thinking about becoming a firefighter. It pays well and has great insurance, plus you don’t need a college degree. I’m going to pitch it to Eddie when we call. I just want to help out. It’s not weird right? I hope not.

What’s happening with you? Anything interesting? In love with someone better than Doug already? I hope so.

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

I’m going to be a firefighter! That’s cool and fun right? And Eddie isn’t going to divorce me yet because of it! That last part is as much news as the rest is probably. But don’t worry about it. It’s a long story, I can explain if you want, but you’d have to be sending me cards back for that. My address hasn’t changed in a while. You can come by. But you don’t have to. I get that you’re busy. I wouldn’t expect you to, that was rude and pressure-y. I just miss you. And I hope you’re doing well. Maybe getting divorced instead of me? Sorry. That’s also rude. Doug is just such a dick, I don’t know why you like him.

Love, Evan

~

Dear Maddie,

Eddie came home from service today, my supervisor at the academy gave me the day off so me and Chris could pick him up. It’s so good to have him home again. You should have seen Eddie and Chris’s faces when they reunited. I love them so much.

It feels weird to share this with you. Usually I don’t end up sending these, because I don’t want to worry you, but now it feels a little too late to tell you. I also never told you, because I don’t want mom or dad to know. Or Doug, iew. Sorry. I know you can keep it a secret, but I’d feel bad asking you to do that, just because I want to share being happy with you. Maybe I’ll come back after my divorce and just eat ice cream on your couch for a week.

Do you have things that make you happy right now? Still working in that same ER? I hope so, or none of these will have gotten to you. Though, that might explain the lack of response. I hope you’re okay, wherever you are.

Love, Buck

~

Dear Maddie,

I’m going to die! Okay, maybe dramatic, but I am! My friend, Eddie, he’s injured right now and I have to help him shower. And that’s fine! It’s all fine! I just also have a huge crush on him and he’s straight and I try to be respectful, but he’s all there with soft skin and silky hair and I’m going to die! I don’t know how to give someone a shower in a bro way. What if he catches on to my feelings? Then he’ll divorce me (long story). But it’s so hard (haha), because he’s so sexy and handsome that it hurts. God, this is an embarrassing card to write. You have to burn it after you read it!!! Or maybe I’ll do it for you. No one can find this. Ever!

Love, Buck

~

Dear Maddie,

Your little brother is officially a firefighter! I’m very excited about that, I’m also going to be a firefighter in LA. I mentioned last card that I was getting job offers, right? And I took one with the LAFD. I’d say come to visit when we’ve moved, but I don’t think you ever will.

Eddie is about to start his PT soon. We’re looking at places in LA, both to live and for his and Chris’s appointments. Hopefully there won’t be a repeat of the homophobia incident. But that won’t be a problem when Eddie divorces me. He’s my husband (friendly) by the way, Chris is our kid. Surprise, you’re an aunt. I wrote that line a million times, never send it. I think you’d be a great aunt, but I don’t trust Doug to be an uncle. Are you two still together? Probably. Fuck, I hate that guy. No offense. Well, maybe a little offense.

I’m going to see a lot of ER nurses from now on, makes me think of you. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be handing over patients to you. That would be fun, right? A family business. No?

Love, Buck

~

Dear Maddie,

I just realized that LA has family of Eddie, which means I have to meet them. I asked Eddie what he wanted to do and he said we’ll go over after we’ve moved in. I really hope they’re going to be cooler than Helena and Ramon. I’m a little nervous to meet them. In-laws, you know. Scary.

How did you deal with meeting them? You did meet Doug’s mom, right, before she died? Was that scary? Probably, if she was related to Doug, but that’s beside the point.

Maybe it’ll be okay, since they’re not actually my in-laws, not like that. Me and Eddie are just married as friends and he’s probably going to divorce me when he recovers from his injuries (he’s a solider, got hurt in Afghanistan). It’s a long story.

Anyway, wish me luck!

Love, Buck

~

Dear Maddie,

Meeting Abuela and tía Pepa went well! They seem to like me. Eddie laughed at me though, but Abuela scolded him for it, that was funny. Did you know family can feel warm? Our house never felt warm. I’m going to miss it when Eddie divorces me. Is it rude to befriend your not entirely like that in-laws, so they’ll continue to be your friend after you divorce your not like that husband?

God, I’m truly a sad person, aren’t I? This sounds pathetic, even to me, but it was just so good, Maddie. I’m going to miss all these people so fucking much. I guess, I should be used to it. I learned to live without you, I’ll learn to live without Eddie and Chris. But fuck, it’s going to hurt. Do you think I can ask Eddie if it’s okay to send him and Chris cards after our divorce?

I’ll have some time to think about it, since Eddie isn’t better yet (it feels weird to be a little glad about that). Hopefully this whole firefighting thing will work out for me. I have my first day tomorrow and I’m so nervous. Any tips about that? Or about my divorce troubles?

Love, Buck

~~

A/N:

I didn’t do enough with Buck raising Chris alone in El Paso, but fuck that shit hurt. I didn’t want to have it get more out of hand and it wasn’t super important to the overall story, so I skipped over a lot of it, but it was a lot of fun to explore here. Hope you all angsted with me :D

Also, me posting this during the Doug arc for Maddie feels very poetic, like she truly nearly doesn’t make it without ever knowing that Buck is okay. That she got him out and he is happy now, that he has a family that loves him, ugh, my heart

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug on the Jedi in 'The Clone Wars'

Y'all have asked, and Dr. Meat Muffin might be a disgruntled old hag that chugs too much Trader Joe’s bourbon and doodles too much subpar art, but she keeps her promises!

Just so y’all know, if you’re a major character (Anakin, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, etc) you keep your name, because it was drilled into Doug’s head over 8 seasons of Clone Wars and the movies. Everyone else, though, Doug gave up and created his own catchphrases for them.

CW: This one's not as spicy as Doug's previous rants regarding Star Wars, but y'all know if y'all know. "It'll all come out in the wash."

--------------------------------------

Plo Koon: Ah, Shrimp Daddy. He looks like a shrimp that’s been boiled and left in the sun after a potluck. But my wife LOVES him, she says he has the nicest voice and she wishes he’d narrate some books. I loved him too, he was my favorite. That scene where he tells his clone boys in space that they’re important to him? Ah great. They should have him lead HR meetings. 

Aayla Secura: Babe-the-Blue-Jedi. They sent her away from the Temple because Yoda didn’t want that hotness distracting everyone. Is she and Miguel (Bly?!) dating? They are, right? 

Kit Fisto: Reggae Swamp Thing. Tell me that boy don't look like he lives in the Atchafalaya and bangs on the steel drums all day. I wonder if he stole those shorts from Michael Phelps. He’s cool but does he need to have a tank to swim in on his ship? Does he have gills? I need more info on this guy. 

Adi Gallia: Storm’s Cousin. Doesn’t this chick look like her? She does, right? Maybe she's a Jedi cause she can't control the weather. Didn’t Maul’s brother Saul impale her on his horns and that’s how she died?* Why didn’t Maul do that to Obi-Wan? Maul was obsessed with Obi-Wan, do you think it’s because he had a crush on him after he sliced him in half?

(Doug also ships Obi-Wan with Maul now? IS THERE ANYONE WHO DOUG DOESN'T SHIP OBI-WAN WITH?!)

Shaak-Ti: Ahsoka’s Aunt. They’re totally related. (“No, they’re not.” “Says who?” “Um, EVERYONE?!”) She’s cool, nice to the clone boys. I like her horns. 

Saesee Tiin : Angry Bull Boy. He looks like a minotaur whose daddy left him at a Wal-Mart instead of the Labyrinth after drinking too much.

Deepa Billaba: My Coworker Anu. Seriously! She looks JUST LIKE HER. I even texted her a screenshot, and she used that as her Slack Channel picture for the longest time. Nice lady, she's a good master to Lil Kanan. Hm, Lil Kanan sounds like a rap person my niece would listen to.

Ki-Adi-Mundi: Mutant-Mall-Santa. Look me dead ass in the eye and tell me the man don’t look like he was supposed to hand out presents and ask kids what they want for Christmas and ended up hanging out in toxic waste instead. He's a snotty asshole, I don't like him, he thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.

Luminara Undali: Lady-in-Drape. She’s a green lady, and she wears a drape. Meat Muffin, I'm tired and it's about to snow.

Barriss Offee: Little Lady-in-Drape. Man, she was awful, but she had good points, ya know? Kind of like Darth Maul. Do you think Darth Maul and Obi-Wan ever dated? Or would Obi-Wan’s boyfriend get jealous? 

Quinlan Voss: College-Hippie-Boy. Doesn’t he just look like one of those goofs that fart around with hackysacks all day long? I'd buy weed from him if he was selling, he looks like an exporter and consumer, if you know what I mean.

Even Piall: Dobby the House Jedi. Man he looks like he was on his way to help Harry Potter or something and ended up in a bathrobe with a light saber. Ah well. 

*= Savage is ‘Saul’ and Feral is ‘Paul’. So it’s Maul, Saul, and Paul. I strained a muscle laughing when I got this. 

Tagging my Redneck Doug stans here! @amalthiaph @sued134 @eyecandyeoz @thecoffeelorian @merkitty49 @megmca @skellymomam I missing anyone?

Let me know if I missed any Jedi, those were the ones that came up that Doug didn't immediately recognize.

[inkinmyheartandonthepage]

Family Induction

Day 26 of Flufftober and the prompt is "I can't find it." You can read it here on Ao3. And you can read the prequel here.

“I can’t find it,” Buck huffed, teetering into his closet on his one good leg. He had already knocked over several coat hangers, his jackets now a crumpled heap on the floor. He was too frustrated though to attempt to pick them back up.

“Careful,” Maddie said, drawing Buck back before he could face plant into his clothes by the belt loop of his jeans.

Buck hopped backwards, landing on his mattress with a bounce. He stared up at his sister with a pout. Her bruises and cuts curtesy of Doug Kendell had mostly faded, now easily concealed under makeup. They could almost pretend like it had never happened, if it weren’t for the bulky cast that Buck still wore around his leg. That had been six weeks ago, and Buck still had another two before he could ditch it.

“Now, what are you looking for?” Maddie asked, turning to survey Buck’s closet.

“My white button up,” Buck huffed. “It’s my only good shirt.”

Maddie turned to give Buck a fond look. “Evan. You don’t need to dress up for dinner. It’s just a barbeque.”

Buck flushed, looking down at his lap. “I want to look nice for your family.”

When Buck and Maddie had been released from the hospital, Maddie had insisted that Buck stay with her. She had her own apartment, whereas Buck was in a share house.

“We can recover together,” Maddie had insisted.

Buck wasn’t about to say no, not when his sister had finally come back into his life. Her boyfriend Chimney and his friend and co-worker Eddie (and Buck still flushed at the memory of calling Eddie whoa while high on hospital narcotics) had offered to collect some of Buck’s clothes from his home and bring them over to Maddie’s.

In the six weeks that Buck had been staying with Maddie, the 118 had filtered in and out of her home, allowing Buck to get to know them. Buck got to see firsthand the family that Maddie had found for herself.

Chimney, who not only doted on Maddie like she deserved as she recovered, fetching her food, and comforting her, but doted on Buck too. Doug had never liked Buck, had never tried to get to know him. Just thought of him as Maddie’s annoying little brother. But not Chimney. He asked Buck about his travels and about the garden centre where he worked. He joked and teased with Buck and brought him books to read. He always included Buck when they watched a movie and had even helped him in and out of the shower a few times when Maddie had returned to work.

Chimney’s captain, Bobby had come around with his wife Athena to make them dinners and had stayed to share the meals with them. Buck imaged that this is what it was like to have dinner with parents who actually loved you. Buck couldn’t even think of the last time he had sat down to a meal with his parents.

Bobby and Athena had helped Buck with his insurance and had helped let his job know that he would be off work due to injury, making sure that Buck still had a job to go back to once he was back on his feet. Bobby was kind enough to teach Buck some cooking tips when Buck had raved about his food, admitting that he mostly lived off take out.

Hen was like another big sister and immediately made Buck feel comfortable. She beat his ass at Mario Kart and told him wild stories about some of the calls they had been on, making Buck laugh.

The visits Buck enjoyed the most though were from Eddie and his son Christopher.

“We match!” Chris cried out joyfully when they had first met, indicating to the pair of crutches they were both using.

“Your way better at using them than I am,” Buck had grinned. “You’ll have to give me tips.”

Buck had always loved kids, but there was something about Christopher that was just so special. He was wicked smart, with a cheeky sense of humour and a sunny disposition. Chris didn’t treat him any different with a cast on, and either did Eddie which just made the man all that more attractive. It didn’t help that Eddie was sassy, funny, kind, and generous. He had quickly become the best friend that Buck had ever had.

The first time Eddie had invited Buck over to his house, he had been surprised.

“Come on,” Eddie had smiled at him, all loose and soft. “I bet your getting cabin fever being at Maddie’s all the time. Besides, Chris wants to show you all his Lego’s.”

If Buck wasn’t at Maddie’s, he was at Eddie’s and Buck had never found a place that felt like home more than the Diaz’s living room.

Buck had been invited to one of the famous Grant-Nash barbeques and Buck wanted to make a good impression on the family that Maddie had made herself.

“Evan,” Maddie said softly, drawing closer to Buck. She perched on the mattress beside him, taking his hands in hers. “They’re your family too.”

Buck shook his head. “Come on, Maddie, we don’t have to pretend,” he said quietly.

Maddie squeezed his hand tightly. “Who is pretending?” she demanded.

Buck shifted, blinking wetly. “Chimney is only spending time with me because of you.”

Maddie scoffed. “You met Chimney because of me but that doesn’t mean he’s forcing himself to spend time with you. Did you know he has been researching rehab for you so that once you get your cast off, he can take you? And asking what kind of things you like so that he can treat you after a hard session?”

Buck lifted his head up at that. “What?”

Maddie nodded firmly. “Him and Hen have already got recommendations for you through their contacts. They are going to let you choose which one.”

“But – but why?”

“Because they like you, Dummy,” Maddie said fondly. She brushed her fingers over Buck’s birthmark. “Ev, it wasn’t me who Bobby has been teaching to cook. Chimney said that Bobby spent his down time at the station looking through recipe books for things to teach you.”

Buck felt something warm bloom in his chest.

“And, okay, Athena was going mumma-bear on both of us,” Maddie admitted with a laugh. “But I have it on good authority she only does that to the people she loves.” Her smile turned into a smirk. “And Eddie certainly wasn’t coming around to keep me company.”

Buck ducked his head, cheeks flushing hot.

“And Christopher absolutely adores you,” Maddie continued. “And I can see how happy you are when you spend time with them.”

“I – I like the Diaz’s,” Buck said. “They’re the best people I’ve ever met.”

“They let you be yourself,” Maddie said quietly, a hint of sadness in her voice.

Buck had told Maddie one night as they were tucked up on the couch together about his life since he left her in Hershy. How he had travelled from place to place, just looking for somewhere to belong but had never quite found it. How he had friends, but there was nothing meaningful about them. How he slept with a lot of people but had never found love or had been loved in returned.

“I just want to be accepted,” Buck admitted quietly. “You’ve got this great family and – and – and I want that too. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“And you have it,” Maddie promised. “Yes, you met them through me, but they loved you before they even met you. You can ask them. I never stopped talking about you.”

Buck chuckled. “Yeah, uh, Chimney kind of told me.”

Maddie squeezed his hands again. “See. And I know it might be hard to believe right now but I promise you, they love you like I do.”

Buck nodded, blinking back tears.

Maddie soft smile turned sly. “Well, Eddie might love you a little differently.”

Buck nudged Maddie, letting out a went laugh.

“Now, I can find that shirt for you,” Maddie said, standing to her feet. She moved to Buck’s closet and reached inside, pulling out a blue polo shirt. She turned and showed them to Buck. “Or you could put this on and make Eddie droll over your biceps.”

Buck grinned, flashing Maddie a cheeky smile. “’suppose it will be pay back for watching Chimney drool over you.”

Maddie laughed, a pink flush spreading across her cheeks. “Yeah, well, I’m drooling back. He’s so cute!”

Buck made a face that had Maddie slapping him on the shoulder playfully. When Buck was finally dressed, Maddie helped him to her car, and they made their way to the Grant-Nash house.

When they pulled up to the home, Eddie and Chimney were waiting out the front of the house for them. When Maddie parked, she shot Buck a knowing look making Buck roll his eyes.

“Shut up.”

Maddie cackled she got out of the car.

Buck shoved open his door swinging his legs out. He got his good foot on the ground, the cast legged hovering slightly in the air. In an instant, Eddie was there, flashing Buck a bright smile.

“Hey. You guys made it.”

“Yeah,” Buck grinned back.

“Eventually,” Maddie teased as she opened the back door to retrieve Buck’s crutches. “We had some wardrobe issues.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Buck said to Eddie. “She’s crazy.”

“What does that make you?” Eddie asked, cocking his head to the side, smile teasing.

“Probably just as crazy,” Buck admitted.

Eddie chuckled, reaching out to grasp Buck’s hand. “Well, you know what they say about the crazy ones.”

Buck’s heart fluttered in his chest as Eddie heaved him up, a hand going to Buck’s waist to steady him as he gained his balance. When Buck had his crutches under his arms and was secured, Eddie shut the car door for him, and they made their way into the Grant-Nash home.

“Buck,” Bobby greeted warmly when they made it to the living room. “Glad you could make it. I’ve made that lemon and garlic chicken we were looking at the other day.”

Buck felt his mouth water. “Really?”

Bobby beamed. “It’s on the barbeque as we speak.”

“Hang on, you made food for Buck?” Chimney squawked, looking between Buck and Bobby. “But when I ask for fried chicken –“

“Or that Mongolian lamb,” Eddie added.

Chimney snapped his fingers. “Exactly! You say you don’t have the time. But Buck here asks, and he gets it? Favouritisms, really cap?”

Bobby shrugged, placing a hand on Buck’s shoulder and squeezed it gently. “He helps me in the kitchen and is willing to learn. When was the last time you two helped me in the kitchen?”

“Eddie got banned after he burned water,” Hen smirked as she drifted past, drink in hand.

Buck grinned as Eddie’s cheeks went dark pink.

“I thought we agreed to never talk about that,” Eddie hissed, shooting Buck a panicked look.

Buck caught Maddie’s gaze and she nodded at him, giving him a soft look, eyes sparkling.

In that moment, warmth flooded Buck and his breath hitched in his chest. Because Maddie was right, and he never should have doubted his older sister. This was Buck’s family too. He had finally found home.

[shelbgrey]

Dating Doug Ross headcanons:

Paring: Doug Ross x Greene!Reader

Summary: headcanons about Doug Ross dating Mark Greene's little sister after she moves back to Chicago (Greys anatomy/ER crossover AU) -SMUT warning

💙MasterList ML2 💙Dating Mood board

So how did you end up here you may ask. You were originally living in Seattle, doing your residency at Seattle Grace Hospital. You could have easily gotten a job at the hospital your older brother Mark worked at in Chicago, but you thought your place was in Seattle.

You made some good friends and even got a boyfriend. Your guy just happened to be Derek Shepherd. It was hard for the first few months, you missed your brother and his daughter and the work was stressful, but other than that it was going fine. That was untill you found out Derek was married.

You couldn't deal with the stress anymore, people were judging you and it was getting harder and harder to get work done, so you called your brother and decided to make the move back to Chicago.

You didn't tell anyone you were leaving or moving except for Mark, so when you didn't make to Chicago on time it got Mark worried.

You were used to the crazy weather in Chicago since you grew up there, but you weren't really used to driving in it.

Everything happened so fast, between the snow storm and the drunk driver behind you, you didn't stand a chance. The car spung out and hit you.

You made it to Chicago cook hospital, but not in the way anyone expected.

Mark was too stunned to do anything, paralyzed in the corner when he saw the paramedics rush you in. Even though Doug was a Peds surgeon, he wanted to help the best he could.

Thankfully the surgery was successful and Doug offered to stay with you so Mark could get some rest.

When you woke up, Doug was the first thing you saw. You watched the handsome man work on charts next to your bed. When he noticed you were awake, he smiled softly. “hey, nice to see you were awake”

“yeah... That hurt like a bitch” I mumbled. Doug chuckled and checked your eyes with a small flashlight. “yeah, I bet it did”

“I'm y/n Greene by the way” yoy winced when you tried to move in your hospital bed.

Doug placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, stopping you from moving so much. “hey, hey, don't move so much... And I'm Doug Ross”

You looked up at him with puppy eyes. You couldn't deny how handsome he was. There was just somthing about his smile and eyes that made you forget about the pain.

You only knew of him by name, your brother would talk about him a lot on the phone. You tired ingnore the attraction you had for him since you just went through a break up and it didn't end well. You knew not everyone was like that, but you felt to scared right now.

You also knew Mark would have a cow if you and Doug even consider being an item, hell Mark didn't even know about Derek.

“you know this isn't how I planed on getting here” you joked, Doug smirked. “yeah, your brother told me you were going to work here... He was pretty excited”

You couldn't explain why it felt so easy to talk to him. Maybe because he was complety clueless to what happened in Seattle, he didn't hear the rumors and let it shape his opinion on me. I had a clean slate.

“yeah... Then I end up being a patient instead of taking care of one” you rolled your eyes, Doug smiled softly. “well, you'll be as good as new in no time... Mark told me you were going into pediatrics” Doug smirked.

“yeah”

Doug pulled up a chair next to your bed, his smirking getting bigger and more flirtatious. He rested his elbow on the bed with his fist against his cheek, staring at you with those eyes. “well, it's a good thing I'm in the same business... Maybe when you get discharged and can show you around”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “quite the charmer, aren't you?” you asked sarcastically.

And the charmer he was, if Mark wasn't in your room Doug was. Always coming in to talk or make you laugh. You couldn't explain why it felt so good to talk to him, I guess you could say it was refreshing.

Mark could see somthing brewing between you two, and he wasn't too sure about. Your best friend Susan Lewis was all for it though, she wanted to see the out come.

By the way. You and Susan went to medical school together and became best friends, she was so excited when she heard you'd be working together.

Anyway a few visits to your room became constant and to the point he was helping with physical therapy. Pushing your wheelchair and taking you there or catching you when you were about ready to fall.

The butterflies and the pounding in your heart was to constant to ignore now. You could deny all your feelings, but everyone saw it. What you could do was push away every time he got closer.

He noticed and frankly it hurt him, he thought he was doing something wrong. But he wasn't gonna give up. Then one day he just had to ask “the guy before me... Hurt you pretty bad, didn't he?”

You haven't even told him about Derek or Seattle. You weren't expecting him to ask that. “w-what do you mean?”

“I can see it... I was hurt too, ya know”

You knew he was talking about Carol. Mark brought her up when he was giving the millions of reasons why you shouldn't get involved with Doug. You could see the hurt and love in his eye, but you couldn't just bring it up to just yet.

“I uh.. Still feel pretty awful about the situation, I just can't tell you yet. I'm not ready for you to look at me differently”

Doug tried to understand, he nodded softly. “so, not yet?”

“not yet”

He knew her past wouldn't change his feelings for you, but he didn't push. Instead he just spent his time making you feel special and wanted you to fall in love with him.

He wanted to ask you out so bad, but he didn't want the date to be a typical one. You were also still a patient being discharged in a week. He was running out of time, so he asked Susan for advice.

“just don't try to impress her with anything fancy or expensive... That's not how she rolls. Just do something from the heart, you guys talk constantly. You'll figure something out”

So that night he was feeling spontaneous. He got you a wheelchair and rolled you down the hallway during the night shift. “where are you taking me?” you laughed as he made sharp turn and quickly went in to a elevator without being cought. You weren't technically supposed to leave the room.

“it's a suprise” is all he said and took you down stars to an old examination room no one used. It was huge and had hospital beds no one used.

Doug had cleaned it up then strung lights on the side of room you were using. Since you told him you liked movies, he stole barrowed a projector from one if the offices to use.

As small as the gesture may look too some people, it made your heart skip a beat. The fact he remembered small details and went out of his way to do this mare you feel things you hadn't felt with Derek.

“so, what do you think?” he asked, gently scooping you out of the wheelchair and sat you on one of the hospital beds. He smiled at you and turned on the projector before getting on the bed that was pushed against yours.

“this is really great... I didn't know you were this sweet” you joked.

“only for you” he said, you looked into his eyes and saw nothing but the truth. For the first time you felt like someone's first choice. You always felt like second choice to everyone. Derek, Meredith, everyone expect Doug and Susan.

You stared into his eyes and before you know it his hand was gently holding your cheek and his lips were planted on yours softly.

After that kiss you felt like you couldn't hide anything from him anymore. So you opened up about Seattle. Talked about Derek and Addison showing up, everything leading up your car accident.

“he lied to you... And hurt you, no of that was your fault... None of that changes the way I look or feel for you”

His words ment everything, but you still felt scared. You didn't want to get hurt again. “I'm scared... That this will end terribly too”

Doug shook his head and placed his hand on your cheek. “i'd never hurt you like he did... Or lie to you”

And he spoke nothing but the truth, and you believed him. For the first time it felt like everything would be alright.

He was there to help you heal both physically and emotionally. It was the little things that just made the recovery easier, rather it would be him sneaking in decent food for you or coming into your hospital room every chance he got.

He took his role as a boyfriend seriously.

Mark did put the fear of god in him when you started dating. Like really did, Mark and him were outside of the hospital messing around with a basketball. He bounced on the back of Doug's head when he found out. “calm down, Mark. You think I'm gonna lose the most amazing thing in my life”

He is your biggest supporter. Doug is your absolute number #1 fan, everything you do amazes him. You've never had a man supporting and encouraging you every day and night.

You guys are an absolute power couple in the Peds department, you guys just work so good together and just know what each other needs in the heat of the moment.

He's big on hand holding too, if your walking around the city your hands will be locked together, or sometimes hell just hold your had if your setting down at a table or something.

He loves forehead kisses, both giving and receiving. He's a big softy deep down and just loves it if you wake him up with a kiss on the forehead or come up to him while he's sitting down and working and plant a kiss on his head. Then is just easier to kiss your forehead since he's so much taller. It's also just means more in his eyes, it's not lust full or anything like that. It's his way to show his unconditional love for you.

He thinks It's adorable when you nuzzle your nose against his, giving him an Eskimo kiss.

He can also be a rough kisser, but mostly he's a passionate kisser. He pours all his love and emotions into it, he makes sure your the only one on this earth he wants to love.

He's so flirty with you. No matter how many years you've been together, he still thinks you're the sexiest, most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

Like I said, he flirts with you so much. Some times he'll come up behind you while your working and whispere suggestive comment in your ear or grab your ass.

He's definitely an ass man, but he also loves your boobs. Sometimes if he's tired or just wants to he held by you, he'll rest his face between your breasts.

God, this man loves everything about you. You have a couple of tattoos, he wants to know about them. It doesn't matter what type of hair you have or if you like it or not, he loves it. He'll love your voice, body, personality... Everything.

He can't sleep without you, he's needs to be holding or hear your breathing to sleep peacefully. If your working the night shift at the hospital, he'll probably stay up late till you come home.

He leaves post-it notes all around the house for you. You find them everywhere. In your bag, the book your reading at the time. On top of your favourite cup. Stuck onto the mirror in the bathroom, if he has to get up and go to the hospital late into the night heal leave one on his pillow. He loves those little details. Loves to write you silly or romantic notes because he knows how much you love them.

This man need physical contact a lot. He's a big cuddler and just needs you in his arms, it's a comfort and a protection thing.

“cuddle me?” he asked, giving you puppy eyes and holding his arms open. You smiled and cuddle up to his chest.

Becoming close friends with Carter and helping him out with becoming a doctor his first year. You also aren't afraid to put Peter in his place when he's being a jerk to him.

He's not afraid to defend you either, he'd be damed if someone talked bad or down to you. He's not afraid to put anyone in their place if they goes to far. “Back off, why don't you show her some respect”

If your in the kitchen cooking he's under your feet sampling everything. It's even worse when you get a dog because you have to move around them both.

He loves your cooking though.

He absolutely loves feeling your fingers run through his hair. He'll kill to have his head on your cheat while you play with his hair after a rough day at the hospital.

Speaking of hair, your not definitely not against it when he starts going gray, the salt and pepper look just works for him. “I think it's sexy, don't dye it”

You don't understand why he likes basketball so much, but your always will to shoot a few hoops with him and Mark or watch a game with him.

He won't waist any time proposing to you, he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

He's definitely a family man, he wants kids with you and that domesticated type of life. He'll probably only want two kids, have nice close family with you is all he needs.

Movie nights all time and most of the time it's all over the place, like you'd watch a Disney movie and a really bloody horror movie all in the same night.

You sleep in his shirts all the time, you love being wrapped in his shirt. It's comforting to smell his cologne and feel it's warmth.

Sometimes if it's just the two of you in the house you'll walk around in some short shorts and one of his buttons ups wide open, showing your sports bra.

He loves seeing you like that. He thinks is so sexy and beautiful to see you in his clothes.

NSFW headcanons:

Suprisenly you guys can get pretty dirty and rough.

If he's had a rough day, he either needs one of two things. A rough fuck or he needs to curl up beside you and rest his head on your chest while you play with his hair.

“You want it harder, baby?” He'll complied with her request, thrusting deeper and faster, causing the bed to shake with your movements. He let out a low groan as he felt your nails dig into his back.

bitting your neck just to hear you moan. When you finally give in to him, he'll lay you down on the couch or bed and start pealing your clothes off to reveal your chest.

Like I said before he's a boob guy. He'll bury his face into your boobs as he pounds into you. He loves it when you start moaning and tugging at his hair, He honestly can’t get enough.

He loves cumming on your breasts too. Sometimes if he's getting head, he'll pull out just in time to cum all over your chest.

“Oh fuck, you want me to cum on your pretty little face again? mark my territory”

He's very skilled with his tounge, he loves eating you out. your legs around his head. He loves your legs in general and loves leaving kisses on the insides of your thighs. He'd rather pleasure you for hours than receive.

“Mmm, you taste so damn sweet” He moans as he continues to pleasure you, his tongue teasing your clit. His hands move to your hips, holding onto them tightly as he devours you.

Doug also loves watching your face while you bounce up and down his dick. He loves the expressions you make when he thrusts up into you when you least expect it.

“I want you to ride my cock until we both cum” He'll spreads his legs wider and guide your hips towards his, taking control from below you. “You like that don't you? Fucking me while I just lay back and watch?” He teases you as you rock your hips.

Doug is so vocal, he'll let out deep groans and moans as he feels your tight pussy wrap around his cock when you ride him. “Oh fuck yeah, that's it baby. Ride me hard”

He loves to lay back and watch you ride his cock as you feel yourself getting closer and closer to cumming again.

He's definitely the dominant person in bed and your not complaining, he'll get rough and pound hard enough were the bed starts rocking.

He love getting head. I feel like he’d like having you on your knees. Plus, feeling your lips around him pushes him closer to cumming in your mouth.

He can get pretty dirty and possessive when it comes to cum. He's done for and lossing control after he comes down your throat.

If your lips are wrapped around him, he's taking control. It's usually rough, but he'll never do anything to hurt you.

He'll move his hips fast, thrusting himself deeper down your throat, the way you suck him drives him insane “Fuck, baby, your doing so good”

He's very vocal, especially when he's getting head. He'll thrusted his hands into your hair as he fucks your mouth with an urgency.

He loves how good you are at making him feel. He loves being at your mercury as he thrusts down your throat. “Fuck baby, you're going to make me cum so hard. I want you to swallow every last drop.”

He'll lose his cool easily, especially if your being a brat. His hips will starts to move faster, thrusting himself deeper down your throat, the way you suck him drives him insane.

You and him both know your limits if anything because too much all you have to do is tap his thigh and he'll stop immediately. He'll hold your face gently, making sure your okay.

Thigh ridding as a punishment, he won't let you cum untill he says. “your gonna get yourself off on my thigh, your not gonna cum till I tell you”

Even though your sex life is pretty rough and sometimes dirty, he'll never degrade you. He refuses to call you anything like slut, or any names that are in that cadigory. He'll call you brat though.

He loves playing with your breasts, taking one nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue and teeth while he massages the other with his hand.

Bondage kink. He'll tie you up with his belt or ties if your comfortable with it.

He'll smirk as he wraps the belt around your wrists and pulled it tight before securing them to the bed post.

Quickies in the hospital all the time.

He can last a long while, you could be a moaning mess and begging for mercy and he'll need to cum once or twice more. “I can last a long time alright. But that doesn't mean I won't make you cum again and again”

He loves feeling you clench around his fingers as you reach your climax as your juices flowing out of you and onto his hand.

he loves the idea of you spread out and ready for him. He stroked his cock as he watches your body trembling with pleasure and anticipation. “Fuck, you look so beautiful like that. So open and ready for me.”

he's always was so needy to make you feel good and make you a moaning mess.

Dispite him being mostly rough in bed and pushes you to the point of screaming, he'll be so soft and gentle in the end. “you did so good for my baby, I wasn’t too rough was I?”

He's very attentive when it comes to aftercare. you want a warm bath? Done. You want massages? Done. You ask, he delivers. All he cares about is your comfort, he insists on cleaning up any mess that's on you or the bed. If he sees any marks or bruises he will apologize for that with a soft smile on his face.

“That's a good girl. Just relax and catch your breath, I've got you.”

[shitouttabuck]

ok stay with me here but: (loose) anastasia (1997) au

evan buckley: the missing, presumed dead, youngest child of the beloved/beloathed buckley family, all of whom were murdered when he was a kid—all except his older sister. except he’s alive, with the unfortunate downside of total amnesia, and nothing to tie him to anyone except a broken something that just reads: buck. so buck grows up alone, and it sucks, especially because it’s not all he’s ever known. he might not have his memories but he knows he's known what love is. home, love, family. there was once a time i must’ve had them too. home, love, family. i will never be complete until i find you.

maddie buckley: only daughter of the buckley family, fell in love with a bad man who tried to kill her whole family to get to her. got away and got safe. doesn’t know if doug’s alive. her brother’s probably dead. surviving’s not the same as living, and she’s been doing it for so long. but… have you heard… there’s a rumour in los angeles. she’s got the best and the brightest protecting her, and all that buckley family money. spreading them both thin could mean doug worming his way out of the woodwork but if there’s even a chance evan’s really out there? she’s already decided.

eddie diaz: conman, but more importantly, dad. there was a war, and then another one, and his wife left, and somewhere in there his parents took his kid from him. he does not have the money to fight them with lawyers, but he’s stubborn and not particularly respectful of the law and he’s heard that maddie buckley’s protective service team has means and money that allow for a) duking it out in court with his parents or b) getting his kid back in ways that are more uh legally grey. and it just so happens the rumours are that maddie buckley will do just about anything and pay just about any sum to find her long-lost brother. blond-haired, blue-eyed, missing at age 10—nearly two decades ago. he could look like anyone, now. sure, there’s the distinctive red birthmark over his eyebrow, but makeup and tattooing go a long way these days. oh, and conveniently, his partner in literal crime, however mild, has an old inside link with someone on maddie buckley’s bodyguard team. chim never shuts up about henrietta wilson—hen, he calls her—particularly when eddie’s fumbling a job and having to improvise and he feels the need to point out just how competent his previous partner steadfastly was.

if eddie and chim are holding illicit auditions for evan buckley lookalikes, and this massive beautiful man stumbles in apparently already having gone to the trouble of dressing for the part? who is eddie to look that gift horse in the mouth? the quicker they see this con through, the quicker he’s together with chris again.

except buck thinks eddie really believes he’s maddie buckley’s missing brother, and buck is warm and ridiculous and so genuinely curious about eddie’s own family, on this journey to find his own, and eddie can’t help but share christopher, and buck listens with bright eyes and holds the photographs so carefully in his big hands.

cons are never victimless, and eddie knows getting chris back takes priority over any moral quandary of identity theft here.

but buck asks about chris’s favourite things and stays up late on their crosscountry train to come up with plans for an accessible skateboard for a kid he’s never met. buck tells eddie he wonders if maddie’ll recognise him, and he hopes she does, because he’s never had anyone see him and know him before. buck asks eddie if he thinks they’ll stay friends, once they’re both reunited with their families. it’ll be nice not to have to miss anyone again, he tells eddie one night, quiet. missing who you don’t remember is one thing. missing who you know?

he trails off and falls asleep not long after, but eddie lies awake in the bunk below him for hours. his moral compass has always swung with whatever cognitive dissonance necessary to justify his actions because the final truth is: heart over mind. and chris has always been his whole heart. so falling in love with your mark has got to be the stupidest, most dangerous thing you can do.

even this is okay; he can handle breaking part of his own heart. but he didn’t realise he was holding so much of buck’s too, and now? he doesn’t know that he can survive breaking any of that.

[allthecastlesonclouds]

yippee :) @starstruckodysseys sword af modern au be upon ye! ty preemptively letting me ramble :)

FIRST. CHARACTERS.

let's start with... Koda Amakiir :D

they/them

traveling musician

child star /neg : ran away when it got to be too much; planned to meet up with fayen in the next city and couldn’t find him

show was called Four Seasons

they are not living their best life but they do love what they do

vibes with delores immediately. bug is sweet but. a bit too enthusiastic for them

always carries the SMALLEST hope that at the next city, they’ll find him :) they haven't yet :)

alr next Delores Paradise

she/her

owns a trinket shop with a constant Everything Must Go sign

Went into a coma years ago and was legally considered dead for a while – when she woke up she was given her children’s contacts, but was told she would have to contact them herself. She has not yet

(she’s afraid of what their reactions might be)

the hospital was Mourosel's and that medical debt is. hefty

very very close to straight up Buying the building from her landlord bc he jacks up the price every year.

rents it out along with fernie– the second floor houses two bedrooms and a kitchen/dining room, the first floor (behind the shop) has two more bedrooms, a Very Small sitting area, and a bathroom

the shop doubles as a performance space– artists are allowed to rent out the space during the day if they want to, but in the evenings, esp the weekends, there's an open mic night that does in fact serve alcohol

Bug

he/they

somehow very few people know his last name!

delores should since she hands over the rent to the landlord but she was. not fully with it when she did let’s say.

i am saying she was drunk and/or busy flirting with the next door neighbor

24, graduate school– studying to be a surgeon.

goes to their school’s athletic center RELIGIOUSLY

watched koda’s show as a child (also religiously) and that made them want to be. as buff as possible

def had like. so many posters of Four Seasons. like plates and posters and a blanket and bug is trying to keep as much of this a secret from koda as possible

he's trans. bc i can make him. also middle child. parents did not realize he came out to them and so now bug's just uncomfortable during every interaction

some of their siblings are. bitches tho

something in my aus is that i will retcon as few things as possible from the actors but I CANNOT MAKE BUG A PODCAST GUY. PLS. PLS BUG'S MY GUY

and our last guy got a name change: Ashton "Fernie" Fern

he/him

fernie by his friends, furnace by his family

delores came up with the nickname when they got drunk together

park ranger! faerashi faerani is one of the park’s lawyer; they’re pretty close. she handles all of the park’s legal cases, and sometimes they just get drunk together bc people visiting the parks are idiots

kevin the moth is a terrarium moth that he keeps in his room :]

has biweekly dinners with (first) delores (and then the whole group once they move in)

there are three rubens in fernie's life– one is his coworker, one is a weasel in the park, and one is his cat :)

such a nice guy. genuinely very sweet. and then he sees his family and faerasha literally has to shove him off a path so he doesn't punch them again

alr a few other points i wanna make :)

faerasha (she doesn't usually go by her full name, it's either fae or 'rasha) is doug's daughter

doug was a costume designer on Four Seasons. now he's a private stylist. he's also fucking rich

bug couldn't rent with the people he rented with the previous year of school– they're that group of heroes from s1– and koda likes to room in places that aren't hotels bc they're less likely to be found by fans

bug was punching trees in the park and fernie stopped him and they just chatted. koda swung by the trinket shop bc it was the most outwardly welcoming building they could find and then asked delores if she knew where someone could stay

bug sees koda when delores and fernie organize a meeting to make sure everyone would be alright with the living situation and went I Will Be Literally So Normal. I Am Literally So Normal About This. (to be fair he tried very hard with it)

bug and fernie are both Big Family kids. fernie's the oldest of like. 9 or 10 kids, i want to say? i'm really set on bug's family having 13 kids for some reason and bug's SOLIDLY number 7

fernie double majored in business and environmental studies, minor in economy, then got a master's of science in animal welfare and behavior

unfortunately this means that his father did not in fact change the deed to true neutral. yes it's nepotism. of course this bitch would rely on nepotism for his business

true neutral is essentially amazon in canon right? it continues to essentially be amazon.

so the ceo dies and the company goes to "his eldest son, who is entirely capable due to his education". this sparks annoyance in the public bc of nepotism. this sparks annoyance in the family bc fernie hates his family. this sparks annoyance in delores bc her trinket shop is flooded with reporters all of a sudden– and then fans of koda, and then two of bug's brothers (she forces everyone to buy something for every question they want to ask, which does lessen her annoyance). this sparks annoyance in faerasha bc HE'S NOT SAYING ANYTHING HE NEEDS A FUCKING LAWYER–

fernie doesn't know what's happening. his phone broke a week ago and he hasn't bothered to get a new one, he can get to work and back just fine

finally faerasha just breaks in and sits him down

alr there's more not in that vein

koda and doug are besties even though doug is. a couple decades older. they have tea every now and again

koda's also working on an album. they're not going to announce it– people would find them– but they're thinking they might quietly release it and just let people find it

gunthar is the next-door neighbor and delores unabashedly flirts with him. rum-pum and tungo and chumo live on the other side and bug is consistently delighted by their stories. they're all dating. he thinks.

delores really does not know whether to contact her kids

she has a late night talk with koda tho where they talk about their. bad experiences. on their show. and she talks about her coma and her debt and her lack of memory.

and they push her to call one of them! she's got her family just one step away, and she's so kind to all of them!

and now. bc why not. some doodles. fernie doesn't look tall enough but like. the energy is there

[sashaisready]

I'm Still Here - Chapter Two

Lee Bodecker (The Devil All The Time) x Femme Reader

In late 60s Meade, you’re married to Sheriff Bodecker, pregnant with your first child. On paper you’re the perfect couple – the respectable Sheriff and his homemaker wife. This should be one of the happiest times of your life…so why are the two of you living like ghosts? And is it too late to bridge that gap? Especially when your husband is playing a dangerous game.

Series Masterlist

Warnings: whoaaaa that escalated quickly!! Dark themes so please tread carefully - references to martial issues, references to infidelity/cheating thoughts, pregnancy, forced imprisonment and physical violence, some light smut references/breeding kink (hehe), allusions of violence toward a pregnant woman, threats of violence/murder.

Wordcount: 2.4k

Doug, the young bag boy from Denton’s, dutifully stacked the pantry items in the cabinet as you looked on.

“Thanks Doug. You want a sweet tea or anything?” you asked, your voice honeyed.

“No ma’am” he replied sharply, the tone slightly quivering.

You smiled behind his back. Some of the local young men got a little bit like that around you, you being the Sheriff’s wife and all. They didn’t want to do anything that might get back to Lee. That meant some of them froze up entirely, refusing to even engage with you in case the smallest thing could be interpreted as hostile or rude…or worse, flirty. You were like a deer they became perfectly still next to, as if even the slightest move might send you running. It was cute. You knew it was wrong, but you couldn’t help playing with them sometimes.

“You sure? I got some fresh cookies too. You should have some for all your hard work” you teased. “A growing man like you sure needs his calories”.

“N-no ma’am” replied poor, sweet Doug. He put another can in the cabinet and kept his eyes straight forward.

“Well…it means a lot to me” you continued. “Coming all the way out here to help me with my groceries. It’s harder for me to get around now I’m getting bigger”. You added a sigh for dramatic effect.

“Y-yes ma’am” Doug nodded. “N-no trouble. Mr. Denton is happy to help out his loyal customers. And a lady in need, of course”. He fixated on a can of beans as if it contained the meaning of life.

“Well, thank-you. And it’s nice they sent out such a handsome guy, too” you purred seductively.

Doug cleared his throat, his back visibly stiffened as he became flustered. “Uh…thank-thank you, Mrs-Mrs Bodecker”.

Sometimes you wondered if you could have an affair. Maybe it would be fun. You weren’t sure if many men would be open to sneaking around with a pregnant woman, and the Sheriff’s wife at that, but there sure were a lot of horndogs out there too stupid to care. But no. You wouldn’t do that to Lee. You loved the big lug too damn much, even if things weren’t great with him right now.

But that didn’t mean you couldn’t play.

You were about to carry on needling Doug but could practically hear Lee’s exasperated voice in your head. ‘Honey, leave that poor boy alone’.

Sigh. Fair enough. It was less fun when they were this skittish. You would release poor Doug.

“A-anything else you need, ma’am?” he choked out.

“No, that’s all – thank-you Doug. You’ve done a great job”.

You paid the bill, plus gave him a nice tip for his trouble. He rushed out of the door in a flash, the money barely in his hand. You sighed as you felt remorse and guilt flood you, that was mean of you. It’s not his fault you’re bored and stuck. Doug shouldn’t have to suffer because Lee hasn’t touched you in months. Don’t project your bullshit onto him. You don’t hurt people anymore, remember?

You would call Denton later and sing Doug’s praises. Insist on a raise for him, maybe throw Lee’s name around. Lord knows he needed it for working with the people in this town – yourself included.

You checked the wall clock as you rubbed your stomach. Baby gave you a few cursory kicks in response, just checking in. It was barely 11am. So much of the day to go and you were already bored out of your skull. Maybe you’d make yourself an early lunch. Watch a bit of TV. A walk if you felt up to the cooing and bump rubbing from the neighbourhood hens. Then back to chores. Same old, same old. Rinse and repeat.

*

“Motherfucker…” Lee seethed quietly as Leroy struck him once more.

He bared his teeth, the rage inside him so strong he felt that he could pull the ropes apart with his bare hands. Leroy hit him again, Bobo looked on and smiled.

“I told you, we’re done” Lee growled, spitting a crimson wad onto the concrete ground and pulling on his binds. The chair he was strapped to clanged loudly as the ropes hammered against it.

“I’m out. We’re not doin’ this anymore. I got a kid on the way. I’m going straight”.

Leroy sighed. “You don’t just get to leave, Bodecker” his tone was patronising, mocking. “We have an arrangement. A profitable one, for all of us. You’re really think you can just put in your two weeks’ notice, and we’ll let you go? Leave us high and dry? You can have your rugrat and your money, Sheriff. This doesn’t need to be the end”.

Lee shook his head vehemently. “I told you. I’m done. I’m not doing this anymore. Now you’ve got two choices: you let me go, I walk away – and I leave you alone. I look the other way if I hear about the shit you get up to. But your other choice…”

Leroy simply laughed; Bobo joined in.

“Way I see it, you’re not exactly in a position to bargain” Leroy explained as he leaned over into Lee’s battered face. “How about we make you a deal? We all carry on what we’re doing, and you go home to your pretty little wife, only slightly roughed up…”.

Lee snarled. “Don’t talk about my wife…”

Leroy snorted. “…Or, if you continue your sudden moral crusade…that poor little Bodecker junior grows up without a daddy. And that’s no life for a child”.

Lee’s eyes darkened at the mention of his unborn child. He didn’t even know if he was having a son or a daughter yet, but Leroy wasn’t allowed to speak of them regardless. He wouldn’t get away with this.

The pounding continued, Leroy doing his best to beat Lee into submission and have him ‘forget’ this whole walking away thing. Bobo would tag in occasionally too. They berated him, telling him he had no choice in this matter. But Lee wasn’t stupid. They needed him. Leroy was running scared. His whole operation would collapse without the Sheriff’s involvement, smoothing out the legal lines and distracting any boy scout deputies for them. Yeah, taking his cut had been nice. But enough was enough. He didn’t want to be a dirty cop with an innocent baby back home. A perfect baby that never did nothing wrong, who would grow up needing guidance. A baby who needed an honourable sheriff for a father, not some corrupt asshole taking bribes from scumbags like Leroy and Bobo. It was time to start over, to be good. Not just the baby, but for you as well. Leroy knew damn well it would all collapse once that happened.

Whatever happened, they needed Lee alive. This was all sheer panic.

Lee glanced at the beat-up clock leaning against the rickety desk. Barely 11am. He cursed himself, he had known they weren’t going to take too kindly to his announcement, but he’d underestimated their anger. He was woefully unprepared. Foolish. But there would be time to scold himself later. Now here he was out the back of some storefront, his deputies believing him to out on patrol, his wife thinking he was sorting some land dispute. Nobody knew he was here, so he had to find his own way home.

He winced as he thought of you. He wondered what you were doing right now. Maybe singing to your bump. Baking. Cleaning. He sure as hell hoped you hadn’t gone to the market yourself, but he wouldn’t be surprised if you had. You didn’t exactly have a track record for doing what you were told. He knew that better than anyone.

He had so badly wanted to feel you and the baby this morning, to touch you, connect with you both. But he ran scared. Things had been so weird between the two of you for so long, and he wouldn’t have been able to handle it if you’d recoiled or rejected him. It scared you how little he knew you these days. He never knew what you were thinking, your face a perfect mask – the same one you wore for the rest of the town. But before, he could see underneath. He used to know the very bones of you.

He admitted he’d withdrawn into himself a little as your bump grew. Maybe more than a little. But you had, too. And the truth was he was scared, his father wasn’t around when he was a kid, and he was determined to break the cycle – but he found himself so overwhelmed that he was paralysed by fear. So afraid to get it wrong that he barely acted at all. He knew the irony in this, not acting was still an action. And not the right one. He was eating more, watching his weight creep up as he tried to replace you with candy and junk. But it never tasted as sweet anymore. The two of you had inched further and further away from each other, and he was worried you wouldn’t find your way back. Lee was scared that if he tried to bridge that gap, you’d just push him away even further. It was easier to pretend everything was fine rather than have his worst fears confirmed. Maybe you were having doubts about him. Maybe he wasn’t enough for you. That was his fear when you first got together, too. With how you met and all. He thought he was over it, but it had lurked in the darkness, striking when his defences were down and rearing its ugly head once more. But now it was worse, because maybe it included the baby too.

He knew the night you’d conceived, the math added up, but he also just knew. And God he’d been so proud, he just knew it would take. Something in his soul told him that this was the one, that he’d taken you and claimed you and given you a part of himself to grow and create. The animalistic excitement of marking you and filling you, as nature intended. His beautiful wife becoming even more beautiful, the swell of your stomach would be a show of his virility, his duty as a husband. That idea alone had been what pushed him over the edge, his mouth over yours as he greedily swallowed your moans and filled you entirely with his spend. He’d held you tightly, still seated inside of you. His nose tracing the side of your face as your collective panting stilled. You’d told him you loved him, and he told you he loved you too, that he always had. Always will. How long ago that moment seemed.

Lee was rudely pulled from his thoughts by another smack from Leroy. He groaned slightly at the sting but keep his head up. He wasn’t a great fighter, but he could take one hell of a beating. One thing his daddy gave him, at least.

He blinked up at Leroy and could see the fatigue written all over him. He was worn out. Punching a guy over and over does take its toll. Especially a big one like Lee. Bobo looked pretty exhausted too. Lee felt himself brighten - here was a glimmer of hope he could maybe take advantage of. He could still get himself home to you and baby.

“There’s still time to walk away, Leroy” he spat menacingly. “You’re tired. I’m tired. Just untie me, and let’s go our separate ways and draw a line under our whole damn engagement”.

Leroy scoffed, but Lee heard his small pant of exhaustion - clear as day. Leroy shook his head, glancing at Bobo who stared back anxiously. They were running out of options. Even if they didn’t need Lee, they also didn’t need the heat of killing a Sheriff either. God only knows who might start digging and poking around in their business if they did.

Leroy huffed. “I didn’t want it to come to this, Bodecker, but you leave me no choice…”

He picked up his jacket from the desk and shrugged it on. Bobo, seeming to understand immediately, pulled on his hat in response.

Lee’s eyes narrowed. “And where are you goin’?”

“Sorry Lee” said Bobo almost regretfully as they walked towards the door.

Leroy sighed. “If you’re not going to listen to us, maybe we need to focus our efforts closer to home”.

Lee’s eyes widened. “You better not be suggestin’ what I think you are…” he snarled.

“We need insurance, Sheriff. A sure-fire way to know for certain that you won’t leave us high and dry or do anything stupid. And your wife fits the bill”.

Lee began yelling, screaming. He pulled and pulled on his binds as he used all his strength to try and break free.

“DON’T YOU FUCKIN’ TOUCH HER. SHE’S NOTHIN’ TO DO WITH THIS. SHE’S PREGNANT, YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!” he howled, stamping his feet fruitlessly against the floor as he did his best to kick out. The anger radiating off him in waves.

“Oh, relax. We ain’t gonna hurt her too bad” chuckled Leroy. “We just need to make it clear who’s in charge here, and what might happen if you have another attack of conscience”.

Through his rage, Lee had a sudden moment of clarity. He needed to calm down to keep you safe. Both of you.

“Alright…Alright. You win.” he managed to puff out as he attempted to regain control of himself. “I don’t quit. I’ll stay. I do whatever you want. Just don’t hurt her. Don’t touch her. Or the baby”.

His voice was desperate. He looked between the two of them, begging for mercy.

Leroy’s jaw clicked. “I’m sorry Bodecker. It’s too late for all that now. We need to be sure you understand”. He smirked mockingly over at Lee and continued towards the door.

Lee let out a deafening roar as he fought, pulling on the ropes so hard he had burns on his fingers.

“I swear to the God almighty, you’ll die in that house, you motherfuckers!” he bellowed.

Leroy just laughed as he and Bobo left the store, leaving an apoplectic Lee in their wake.

As the door slammed, he took a second to steady his breathing. Shaking the sweat beads from his forehead, he took a deep breath and began to methodically tug at the knots of the rope. He would be out of those binds if it was the last thing he did.

“I’m comin’ Honeybee” he muttered. “I’m comin’…”

Soon, he felt one of the knots finally begin to give.

And he thought about the first time he met you.

[freevoidman]

McFly July 16🌲 - Paradox

[Roleswap!AU where young, upstanding mad scientist teenager Emmett Lathrop Brown travels back to the past to try and save his friend and father figure Marty McFly.]

“Run this by me one more time, kid.”

Emmett barely restrains a hysterical peal of laughter hearing Marty—a younger, breathing Marty McFly—call him kid again. He’s not sure what expression crosses his face, but Marty huffs. “Look, I’m sorry. Maybe the future me is better at all this fourth dimension stuff, but I’m barely grasping you’re from the eighties, let alone the whole paradox thing.”

“No no no, I’m not frustrated, it’s just… this is normal for me, in a situation that feels extraordinarily abnormal.” Emmett runs a hand through his hair and looks around the surprisingly bare living room. Emmett is used to navigating mazes of the busted-up amps, dusty guitars, scratched-up vinyls, all while carefully side-stepping the aging sheet music littering the floor (how many times had he warned Marty that leaving so many stray pages was a slipping hazard, only for things to end the way they did?). Now the living room is sparse, furniture laid out so… so neatly. There’s a nice suede couch, a few arm chairs, a tiny TV, bookcases, a record player, all of it spaced out in a way that would make Emmett’s mom's home-interior instincts squeal with excitement. 

The Marty he knew would never have such a standard-looking living room. Granted, he lived in an old garage, and everyone in town knew that the old McFly Manor burned down in ‘62, but Emmett always imagined that if Marty had a house, it would be just as wild as Marty is—was.

(Emmet is resolutely not thinking about what happened. He’s currently preoccupied with worrying about what is about to happen, in regards to the paradox brewing, with him situated in the epicenter.)

Patting himself down, Emmett takes out his notebook and flips to a blank page. He grabs a pencil from the coffee table and sits next to Marty on the couch. “Alright, so, imagine…” Emmett draws a straight line across the page, “That this line represents the flow of time. I’m from the future year of 1985.” Emmett writes his year on the right side of the line, “We’re in 1955.” Again, the current year, this time on the left side, “And, between these two, I was born in 1968.” Finally, his birthday, written between the other two years.

“Simple enough so far.”

“Because of my invention, I traveled back through time from 1985 to now, 1955.” Emmett draws a large arch over the line to connect the two years. Marty nods along and Emmett, as much as he loves his friend (even this version who has only known Emmett for less than three hours), he’s relieved he doesn’t have to explain the very basics of time travel to him. Marty had never been a big sci-fi fan, but travel was his area of expertise, what with touring and all in the past (future?). “My parents were supposed to meet today at my grandmother’s boutique when my father fell through the display window. My mother tended to my father, which is how they got properly acquainted outside of simply attending high school, and that eventually turned into them dating, getting married, and having me in ‘68. However, because of Fleabag Needles—”

“‘Fleabag Needles?’ Isn’t that one of the high schoolers? What’s his name, Doug something?”

“Yes, Doug Needles. And as for why we call him that… well, everyone does.” Well, not everyone, just Marty and Emmett. Emmett because the man has been a constant thorn in Emmett and his mother’s lives since he was born, and Marty because Doug has filed countless noise complaints against him. 

1955 Marty seems to at least agree with his future self’s annoyance. “Can’t say it doesn’t fit him. Always hated having to tutor his ass at guitar, he couldn’t even do basic taps.”

“Regardless, because Needles crashed into me instead of my father—which is how he ‘fell’ through that window, apparently—that means my mother tended to me instead of my father.”

“Right, so your parents never met.”

“Which means they don’t fall in love, they don’t get married, and, most importantly in this conundrum, they don’t have me.” Emmett erases the date of his birth. “Now, here’s where the paradox comes in. If I’m never born, that means I never invent time traveling, which means I never go back in the past, which means I don’t interfere in my parents’ first meeting—”

“Which means none of this should be happening?” Marty throws out, gesturing between them.

“Precisely! My current existence here cannot be possible, so the universe is attempting to correct that aberration.” Emmett erases everything from 1955 onwards. He sees Marty’s eyes widen out of his periphery—good, he understands the gravitas. “However, it can’t do that and have the same series of events play out, so once I’m erased, it’s possible that my interference with my parents never occurs, therefore I will be born, and this will play out again.”

“So… the universe trying to, uh…” Marty winces and tries again, “Look, kid, I’m not going to call you an ‘aberration,’ but is that why you keep flickering?”

Emmett’s lip purse at the reminder of his looming non-existence. Marty was about to chase him off his property for being a ‘crazy stalker nerd’ before Emmett suddenly keeled over and went transparent. The rockstar ushered him into his house and did his best to help, but there’s nothing you can do when the time continuum has decided that you’re a walking talking paradox. Luckily it stopped, unluckily Emmett doesn’t know if that was a one-off or if he was going to fade in his sleep. “Yes. I imagine that the only reason I haven’t been completely erased yet is simply a delay in the time stream’s machinations. After all, I’m not born for another thirteen years.”

“How long do you think you have?”

Emmett shrugs. “A week? Perhaps less. All of this is theoretical, even with my recent experiences. Here’s what I can tell you for certain: unless I can get my parents together before whatever time I have is up, I will be nothing more than a faint memory.”

Marty’s eyes darken. The irony is not lost on Emmett that they’re discussing his eventual non-existence (he refuses to use the word death, not only because that’s not an entirely accurate use of the word, but because the word brings to mind his friend riddled with bullet holes, bleeding out on the pavement) when the whole reason this ordeal is happening was because Emmett was willing to create a paradox to prevent what happened. 

He thought he’d managed to input the coordinates in time, but it was all lost in the rush of escaping the Libyans, having to do crazy maneuvers through the parking lot just to ensure the Delorean wasn’t too damaged to make the jump. He only wanted thirty minutes—less, even—just to warn Marty but instead jumped thirty years. Even with his own fate laid out in front of him, his limited time before corrections are made, the wrinkles in time pressed out by the universe’s uncaring hand, Emmett wants to tell Marty what will happen more than anything. 

Perhaps fading is some form of universal karma. After all, if Emmett fades, is never born, Marty will never be in danger. This will be nothing more than a crazy week where a boy showed up on Marty’s doorstep and told him an unbelievable story. Maybe he’ll be mentioned in a song later down the line, or maybe the timestream will destroy anyone’s memories of him, just to err on the side of caution.

But that look in Marty’s eye tells Emmett a different story. It’s the same look Marty has whenever Emmett comes over with bruises from his bullies, or when Edna followed him all the way to Marty’s garage to call him a slacker, or when Biff Tannen came by to taunt the ‘failed musician’ about his own failures. “That’s not going to happen kid, not on my watch.”

I know, Emmett wants to say. Marty’s never let him down before. He’s practically been his father figure ever since… well, ever since his actual father passed. But instead Emmett holds his tongue, nods, and tells Marty where he hid the Delorean so they can retrieve it. As he sits in the passenger seat of Marty’s car, he silently vows, we’ll change each others’ fates together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*shows up to a fandom event 16 days late with a can of Pepsi-free* 'sup.

I learned about this event literally the week it started because I was browsing Ao3, saw the prompt list, and my brain went crazy. Huge thanks to @mjf-af for making this, not only because it's super cool, but because the event and the prompts literally dragged my writer's blocked brain kicking and screaming into work. I've been struggling to write anything all summer and now I have a whole 60 prompts that I've been thriving with.

This was the only prompt I managed to write ahead of time since I've been playing catch-up, so I decided to post this here on it's proper day-of instead of hoarding it until I've caught up. I've been posting my other contributions on Ao3 in batches, as that's my preferred site of fanfic posting lol. You can check out my fills for days 1-8 by clicking this link, as well as any future contributions! I'll probably be working on these things well into August haha.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

FOP: A New Wish e16?, 18-22

well would you lookit that, new episodes. thanks internet for telling me...since i don't watch cable live...but man, we are starting the wonky releasing aren't we? e17 was e16, but now e16 is 2 episodes after e17?? the more things change, the more they stay the same eh? lol

Episode 16: Lost and Founder's Day

yeah like i said, wonky episode ordering. i know they sometimes air out of production order, but this? this is also a full 22 min episode?? nice. i guess that's why it's so out of order...wouldn't have that problem if you didn't split 22 min eps into 11 min ones, just saying...

huh, and description is saying that Dale is the new Crocker...yeah, i can easily see that...it's the plot of s2 of the Santa Clauses

so story time proper now

oh right the Dimmadome hat, because Doug founded the town, du how'd i forget that.

aww Dev is still glasses-less. but lol smart watch that can't tell time, classic

pfffft the mentioning of Poof and Cosmo's slip of the tongue, that's great. nice that they acknowledge that Cosmo had him. but wait, did they just admit that they left him alone for 10,000 years while on vacation? it hasn't been 10,000 years...but still, you left your son at boarding school this entire time??? guys

oh hey recurring wish characters, just chilling in the wild, not drawing any attention for weirdness...why'd Mark have to hide in the past again

pfft Dimm n' Out Burgers

Doug got gold in 1953...the original series was like mid 90s...???

oh Hazel's gonna wish for others, now we're pulling Live Action plots...but also Wishmas...but also standard, and was that the standard kid hurray that FNaF uses??

dawww Dev :( i mean i know we knew the statute wasn't gonna be good, but poor Dev. and wow laying on the Poof referencing heavy; if i hadn't been spoiled that he's returning it wouldn't be a surprise because that is not foreshadowing, that's a neon sign

and hat montage...ok...at least it's not a musical number i guess...and it is a nice commercial break spot, because *double length episode*

heh snarky Dev. but also daww protecting Hazel

and dawww 3rd act breakup?? Dev hunny

but now we have terminator founders' day statues. this is getting crazy again, and i love it

ha! callback to the "oh great the wand not working noise". also callback to Cosmo was right

pfft "Dill Pickle Dimmadome". just a dumb joke, or Rugrats shoutout, you decide!

huh just now realizing that the non-Roman Dimmadome was French, very obviously a French trapper, so...are the Dimmadomes also Canadian?

dawwww Hazel be nice to Dev! he did save you

HEY! Poof is back! yes, yes, he's Peri now; very grown up, not a questionable foreign slur, i know. and he's Dev's fairy????? ok i did not see that how he came back; i expected him in an episode or two. but how interesting that the spoiled rich kid who's parents don't love him gets the purple fairy...again...

well, i guess i can see why this was produced as e16, but aired after e18 since that's sort of a big plot point

Episode 18: Work Her Magic

so chronologically this should be before Lost and Founder's Day...lets see is that matters. because this series does have some ongoing continuity to it...

synopsis has the standard plot of kid thinks parent is overworking so wants to spend time with them. doesn't sound like Add-a-Dad, so that's good

adult Hazel design? huh

heh the puppet replacement is back...and having an existential crisis??? O.o this show man...i love it

hey design for Antony

interesting montage

wait what was the name of the building??? E-Lidder+Acey Publishing. oh, ok, it went by so fast i thought it was E-Leddy, as in similar to Mr Turner's boss at the pencil pushed factory office thing. idt there's a connection, carry on

there's no Un-Wish Island for Hazel, but instead a cosmic void...filled with neon glitter...Mad Muse Mythos??? O.o

ah well, the ending was good enough. this was a low magic, personal growth episode, which is always grade a good. but you know...i feel like there could be a wish uprising in the future, just like Un-Wish Island...oh and no, idt this being aired out of order in comparison to Lost and Founders Day matters at all

Episode 19: Crock to the Future

so many pun titles, i am loving it. but Crocker is back??? did he get demoted to janitor after his affair with Vicky (heh yes i will never forget the worst part of Odder, and neither will any of you so it will never happen again)(also this is NOT the Odder timeline so i know there's no correlation...other than the cosmic multiverse deciding to punish him for eth actions in an alternate reality lol). but...since the internet spoiled that there's an adult AJ, this is sort of a missed opportunity to have it be adult Kevin...not that i want Kev to be a carbon copy of Crocker, but still. would help narrow the timeline more (gimme adult Chloe! gimme proof there's no Sparky!!), seeing as Poof is grown and present, so we know it's not a Channel Chasers timeline...

anywhos, actual episode!

AJ!!! Anthony James Junior is AJ's full name??? and he's into Paranormal Science/ uh...that doesn't really track, but AJ!?

but also, claiming that the experts said a ghost containment unit was impossible...so this is not the same universe as DP, since that is confirmed as possible. i know it wasn't really a connected universe before, but confirmation that they are separate is nice...though i say that and watch as Jack and Maddie end up in a background shot coming up lol

wow their paranormal detector works

AJ!! "remember him from the original series?" lol but yeah this has got to be 20 years in the future minimum...

hey there's Mark and his ship on that mural!

IT'S CROCKER!!!!!! and he looks so OLD! zomr i love it, he looks so much like Dolores and Albert. and he still has the FaIrYgOdPaReNtS!!

huh we acknowledge that Crocker was their godkid, nice

Wanda, why would you think Crocker covering eth building in a net is impossible? he afforded to do that back on a teacher's salary, he can certainly do that on a janitor's

Timmy name drop!

so Crocker does this every year...AJ knows his old teacher works for him. neat!

well this was actually a very fun cameo episode! i highly approve!! shame Kev didn't show up to pick Crocker up at the end, and it'd mimic how Denzel was with Dolores, but better since Kev isn't fairy crazy...i liked Kev lol

Episode 20: Battle of the Dimmsonian

description says Dev and Hazel magic battle. so...it's Remy Rides Again

oooo Dev's the wishy-washy wisher, that's neat. it goes to show that even he doesn't know what eh wants or needs

waitwiatwait "remember episode 13 when i was horse and you were a cowboy hat" e13 of NW was Stany Danky and was there cowboy wear in that? e13 of the original series was Christmas Everyday and...no i think it was only Maria that was a cowboy there. hm.....

oh are they going to follow the "fairy godparents can't out other fairy godkids" rule??

Brindle Folk people lived in Dimmadelphia before settlement huh? ad they have a lot of antlers...and a spirit named Viozalia...and that looks like a portal....otter-deer fae nice (i see what you meant saying i had a lot to work with in these new episodes lol)

hey that looks like a ghost portal...fae spirit...yeah that tracks...heh called her a demi-god wow. wrath of the underworld? what is this show?? i love it!!

hehe Viozalia tricking Dev into giving her the staff; classic fae.

"what to do if your kid tries to start the ghost apocalypse" that is actually a thing that they though could happen/has happened before?? also ghost apocalypse, and child possession, this is amazing

the family reveal was fun lol

dawww Dev not knowing how friendships work

hehe Ghostbusters references all around

that was actually a really good episode. very enjoyable, plot progressive, character progressive, very spoopy. A+ team

Episode 21: Patty Possum's Party Playground

is that a FNaF reference??? and did they forget that they already have Mikey Mozzarella's?? and description says Hazel wishes eth animatronics to life...it is FNaF holy crap!!!

Patty Possum looks like a female Mikey Mozzarella...

and if Winn watched her show in daycare, it's at least a 5 year old franchise

man i love Ski-Ball

Patty invited the children onto the stage to be her new posse...she's gonna try to keep them isn't she...

ah another instance of Cosmo and Wanda being idiots and loosing their wands the most stupid way because if they didn't there'd be no plot

haha yup there it is, she's keeping those children. time to survive until 6 am kids

wait what was the tunnel graffiti?? Miss you Mom...with 25 tick marks and a skeleton, oh...i thought it was something cooler. carry on

ok i am so into this musical number. the background music is actually going good this ep

dawww lesson of the week time; friends are friends even when they are apart

oh no the possum is stealing not-Timmy to stuff him into a suit to be the new turtle or something! lol

ok, so this was fun. didn't go as dark as the other spoopy episodes, but it was still fun, and filled with fodder.

Episode 22: A Date to Remember

this one's description sounds like a Lovestruck light...but hey more returning characters!

oh actually it seems like it's got some Apartnership mixed in too actually...huh...neat

hey, Cosmo's referencing their first date from "Floating with You" from School's Out: The Musical. you guys did your homework a bunch

wait she made that wish...oh geeze Hazel Marty McFlyed herself...oh wait no, not time traveling, but basically yeah

heehee 2d versions of stuff that happened, love it

what happened to Cupid?? O.o this character is like, 100% different than the original. are we saying that Cupid isn't a person but an office/title now? so this isn't the same Cupid?? redoing Father Time was since since he wasn't a highly established character, but Cupid was, and since we had April Fool reffs it's not like you guys never saw OG Cupid

all the sports jokes are going over my head. i don't sport ball.

but you know, the message that love isn't just a point game, and that Angela still had free will to choose despite the game saying otherwise, that's great.

so other than the confusing character...it was ok

Episode 23: Lost in Fairy World

the kids get lost and fairies have to find them before Jorgen finds out? is it now illegal to bring your godkids to Fairy World?? i mean, tat should've been a rule from the start, but why now?

heehee family brunch of candy. and Dev's first Fairy World exposure, nice. but you know what, this is actually really cute and clever setup giving Peri to Dev. Dev's an only child with an absent father (and no mother in sight), so he gets a single godparent. BUT he also happens to also get 2 grand-godparents and a godsister/aunt in the form of Hazel. Dev gets the big loving family he wants so badly. meanwhile, Hazel started this by loosing her brother's friendship when he moved away, and feeling distant from her parents; well she got herself 2 more godparents for the attention, and now has a godbrother and godnefew/goduncle and godcousin/brother (i know technically it works one way but the dynamics of the personal interactions feel the other so just role with it). she's gotten back her family she thought she lost. this was really good story telling here.

anywhos, Fairy World!! oooo map...with several locations....ooooooooooooo

Cosmo and Wanda being over bearing parents to Peri is great. and Peri saying Dev's his first godkid...eh...i guess he's technically right since we only saw him assigned to Dolores in Fairly Old Parent before...

ok we're going on a world tour! first stop: Star Dome. it's...a wand garden? i feel like we established wand production in the past but i can't recall when... second stop: Rainbow Highway. not much to it third stop: Dollfins. it's...dolphins, but dolls...wut? this seems silly fourth stop: Wings n' Thangs. it's a factory...mk...well since Norm did have wings stapled onto his back i guess wing manufacturing is a thing

Jorgen seems stupider than he used to be...i blame the sweater vest

the kids unwished themselves? wait what?? THAT'S the Hocus Poconos?? Wish storage...Unwish Island...the glitter void where the puppet went...is that this place??? I...hu...and there is an Un-wish dragon. i...hm...

pfft ok i'll give the dragon the meta joke, that was funny

and i guess this new system does make sense, seeing as Timmy got Un-Wish Island because his Wish Storage was over willed, so dumping the unwishes in a designated area with something to destroy them does make sense. now i'm hoping there's a rebel Gary here and we go Mad Max with a smattering of other unwishes lol

pffft Fredanator head, nice. i guess it's cameo time....holy crap that was a skeletal snake!Vicky in a milkshake glass O.o show!! i love you

wait ate a godkid again?? O.o!!!!

lol Dev learning no lessons. he's trying guys, he's learning...slowly lol

ok not a bad episode. very much a cameo game. still loving this show, looking forward to next week's crop.

[talesfrommedinastation]

Redneck Doug on ALL the other Clones in Star Wars!

As promised, for reaching a new number of followers, here's Doug's list when I asked him to name off all the clones in 'The Clone Wars' and 'The Bad Batch'!

Some are obviously repeats of other posts, and some are brand spanking new.

I'm using my autoethnography skills to their fullest extent, here, people.

This is LONG but hey! 7 seasons of The Clone Wars and 3 seasons of The Bad Batch means animated Star Wars in the Days of our Lives of animation.

If I'm missing someone, let me know! I'll reach out to Doug!

Enjoy, everyone!

CW: Redneck Doug just rambles needlessly about people.

And Clermont Lounge is one of the scariest and yet, most fun places in the ATL and I could 100% see one of the 501st working there.

-----------------------

Bly: That’s a boy, his name’s Miguel. Got his friends, they drink Pabst, shoot the empty cans behind the garage when they done, and hit on every woman that walks by. But Miguel’s got his eyes on Babe-the-Blue-Jedi and steals flowers from people’s yard and gives them to her. Babe-the-Blue-Jedi knows the man’s not that bright but his heart’s in the right place and that’s all that matters, right? 

Rex: That's Rex. He's a king. Respect him. 

Cody: That’s Obi-Wan’s Boyfriend, he’s sad all the time. We know why. (Confirmed that Doug is a Codywan shipper and I don’t know what to do about that)

Howzer: That’s my niece’s boyfriend, Jorge. We all love Jorge, nice guy, owns an auto repair shop and always remembers plates and napkins for the cookouts after church.

Gregor: Jorge’s cousin, Manny. Met him once at Christmas in Miami, nice guy, only drinks brown liquor and insists everyone arm wrestle him. But he’s got a good job as a PE teacher, we respect education, come on now. 

Hardcase: Wiggles. He laughs at everything and never wears a helmet both on his big head and his lil head and that explains everything about the man.

Kix: Nurse Mark. He's tired and sick of your shit, sick of the creeps trying to get the Fentanyl, that's a crime now, ain't it.

Echo: "Eh, Toaster Strudel. Homeboy looks like his daddy had an affair with a convection oven on shore leave and forgot to pay child support."

Mayday: Aw, I liked this guy so much! That’s Sassy Park Ranger, he’s the type that gives you your camping permits, warns you about the bears, and then is all disappointed when you don’t properly stow your food and the bears destroy the campsite. I need to go back to Little River Canyon, that place was pretty. 

Scorch: The Son of Robocop. His daddy told him to get off his lazy Robo-son ass and go get a job, so he works for the Empire now, because no one can get a job in Detroit. That’s why he’s a bad person. (Because he works for the Empire? “No, because he’s a Lions fan and that ain’t a good look for anyone.”)  

Fives: Alex-from-Manitoba. He reminds me so much of this awesome guy I knew, Alex, was from Winnipeg, we worked in oil together. Smart, knew his shit, loved guns and getting his hair did. No one listens to him, management hates him, and he gets fired. Man I was so pissed off when that happened with that damn alien that ran the ocean on the mall! He deserved better, damn it!

(Fives or Alex-from-Manitoba?

“BOTH!!!”)

99: 99!  

(You actually remember his name?  

“Hell yeah! He’s one of the most important characters! Why would I not?” 

::cue me, quietly staring at all the weird-ass names over texts and saying NOTHING in response::) 

Wolffe: Bernando. I dunno, man, he got that Bernardo energy. I’ve met three and they all looked like they wanna run off into the woods and come out when they got a deer they need to process and take a shower and find a lady before running back into the woods. Also Bernardo never has a girlfriend that lasts more than 6 months with him. Don’t know why. Just trust me. 

Gree: Carnie Joe. Man, he looks like the type of guy who drives an ice cream truck but there ain’t no Bomb Pops inside if you know what I mean. 

Cut Lawquane: Not-Wolverine. He ran away from the Empire, grew out his muttonchops, wanted to join the X-Men, Charles Xavier said ‘Nah son you need super powers for that’, and then Not-Wolverine stomped off into Tremors-land and started a pot-and-chicken farm like every other hillbilly in Kentucky. But he got a hot wife out of the deal and some nice kids and lots of guns, and ya know, that ain’t a bad ending for the man. 

Commander Fox: Red-Chief-of-Police. He’s absolutely on them Ticky-Tack videos my nieces and nephews watch where the cops are doing bad things but they ain’t gonna get fired over it. Man. It ain’t right. 

Tup: Alex’s-Friend-Matt. Aw, Matt, good guy, but too much brain damage after that time he fell off the roof while laying down tar. He grew out his ponytail to hide the dent in his head and talked funny afterwards, but he real good at roughneck work and I can’t fault the man, nope. 

Hevy: That’s Ross. He’s always mad because he’s insecure. He’s got a lot of Nerf guns and only eats stuff you can find at 7-11. 

Jesse: That’s Jesse, he’s a trucker, was a bouncer at Clermont Lounge in Atlanta, and has three ex-wives who all hate him. He shaves his head because his hair hates him too. 

Crosshair: So that there's Daddy Warcrimes. All you need to know is he lives on beer and Slim Jims, has more guns then Jesus got faith, and that he does your mom on the weekends, and then you thank him for his service.

Hunter: Aw man, we got Rambo up in this place. Daddy Rambo. He looks like he's got some hot wife with a huge butt who makes amazing biscuits, but he only showers on the weekends for reasons he won't tell you.

Wrecker: I know, I KNOW, he's got some cool Star Wars name, but in my head, he's Julio. He looks like a Julio, ya know? Every Julio's been the nicest guy with a truck and a million friends. I swear. I bet he's a contractor and lays pipe like you wouldn't believe. ::winks::

Tech: Hm, yeah, I know him. That's Ryan-from-Accounting, somebody's hipster dad. You know, everyone knows a Ryan who works in accounting, he's quiet, only drinks IPAs, and has a bitch wife named Laura who drives a Kia and is always yelling at him. Poor man. I hope Julio saves him from his bitch wife Laura.*

Omega: Little Orphan Blondie. I hope she gets real parents or something besides those freaky alien things running the mall on the ocean.

Emerie Karr: Stepsister-Beth. She’s got a stick up her rear, was in a sorority known for bitchy Daddy’s Girls who wouldn’t touch below the belt but are all about using other places for their date’s hoses to put out the fire, and only drinks almond milk lattes. She’s a bitch to waiters and drives a Prius. 

(“Doug I drive a Prius.”

“Yeah, but you ain’t a southern sorority girl so y’all forgiven.”)

Nemec and Fireball: Trigger and Nutsy. They’ve been in a survival militia in the Florida Everglades and that’s all you need to know. 

CX-2: The Guy from Tron. He’s a guy, and he was in the movie Tron. That’s it. 

[ducktracy]

Have you ever met any of the voice actors on Spongebob?

i’m incredibly lucky to say that i have!! i first met (“met”, at least as much as one can in a Zoom.. but Rodger did say hi to me!!) Rodger Bumpass and Carolyn Lawrence on a Zoom call back in 2021 to celebrate the premiere of The Patrick Show, and i met Tom Kenny and Doug Lawrence this year at our Kamp Koral season 1 wrap party! i got to stand next to Mary Jo Catlett in a picture as well :) saw some of the others like Bill Fagerbakke and Clancy Brown but didn’t get to say hi

i posted these before! but now is as good as time as any to tell my tale

when i showed up to the party i was Visibly Confused as to where to go since it was held in a (very pretty!) bar in Union Station but very out of the way bar. so i just sort of hung around until i recognized someone from the show so i could hound them as to where to go

i saw our showrunner Marc Ceccarelli and Doug Lawrence walk in and very shamelessly ran up to them like “hi do you guys have any idea where to go” etc etc etc and cracked some jokes. trying to play it cool and not throw up my breakfast lunch and dinner because holy shit i’m walking with Doug Lawrence! but he was so kind and cool and actually introduced himself first and gave me a handshake, i think i babbled something like “i know who you are and i’m trying not to freak out” HAHA so. so much for keeping it cool

but he was incredibly kind! and as we were getting our name tags he pointed to the one in the picture above he wasn’t using and was like “do you want this?” so i told him yes and i’ll be sure to sell it on ebay right away (it is proudly pinned on my corkboard above my desk and is never going to leave my possession)

later on i saw Tom and was like. i have to introduce myself or i will literally never live with myself. so i hung around until he had a free moment and was like “HI IM ELIZA IM A (at that time) STORYBOARD REVISIONIST IM SO SORRY I KNOW YOU GET ASKED THIS A TON BUT MAY I PLEASE HAVE A PICTURE WITH YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH”

he was SO NICE! that’s putting it so mildly. he hung around for at least 15 minutes and had a beer with us and talked about how he got his start and his career as a comedian. it was so. so amazing and kind of him to stay around and very casual! so much so that Doug came by and Tom even introduced me to him since i’m an out of towner and Doug was like “hey i know you!!” which. again. hard not to pass out on the spot. i think i babbled something like “SpongeBob and Plankton are my two favorite characters just so you know so i am in heaven right now” HAHA probably not the most professional approach but who cares

still one of the greatest nights of my life and a moment i’ll treasure for the rest of my life! i’m hoping that i’ll be able to have more stories to tell in a very similar vein to this one. beyond bucket list level and i’m still so gobsmacked that i can’t even find the words to express just how life changing and amazing and humbling it was