#But doing it in a bit more of a roundabout way than stating it

[maeamian]

"(whose CEO is Mike Cavanagh just btw in case Ron Pearlman is listening)" ... milady i'm missing this repeated joke, tho i follow all tree law business with great interest ta ta

Here ya go!

[triptychgardener]

What does becoming a furry in Homestuck mean? (In reference to your recent Nepeta post)

Okay so the thing is the way that Homestuck treats furries is honestly kind of equivalent to how it treats queerness. As in, Homestuck initially treats it like a joke or a thing to mostly sneer at. Homestuck was very much part of the wave of disaffected ironic assholes of the Newgrounds and Something Awful type, especially to start with, and that sort of relied on shitting on demographics that were seen as weird and permissible to find cringe and make fun of.

Jade comes onto the scene, and a lot of people sort of groan at her whole furry shtick. Jade is largely, however, just a pretty sincere character, and even though she feels some embarassment over the idea of BEING a furry (i.e. her distaste for the idea of actually wearing a fursuit) she nonetheless begins the admirable refrain of combining the finest qualities of humanity with the elegance and nobility of the animal kingdom.

Her earnest affection for all things anthropomorphic sets up more than just her excellent taste. And as much as she is a bit of a pattern-breaker, one pattern she doesn't break is that of having a Signature Animal.

The four beta kids have a bunch of different things associated with them: the four elements, four items, four musical instruments. But the animals are practically integral to who they are as people and characters.

John's attachment to the bunny is obvious, and helps to spur on one of the most emotional scenes in the comic. (For him. Him specifically.)

It's also something deeply precious to him, as it's a gift from every single one of his friends in a very roundabout fashion!

For Rose, Jaspers is half the reason she decided to play the game in the first place. She missed her dead cat so dearly she was willing to play a game that might end the world for it.

(Pictured above, Rose lying about her feelings, water is wet.)

Dave seems to at least feel some affection for crows, or at least shame when he kills them.

And his fusing to become Davesprite is what allows him to survive as a "copy" of the original Dave. Once again, Dave's disaffected irony giving way to the necessity of becoming a furry to save the world.

And for Jade, of course, Bec.

And it's notable that, by the end of the comic, at least THREE of our main beta kids have merged with their animals, and, in a way, become the best versions of themselves.

Jade obviously gets to achieve her dream of becoming a furry, and in doing so gaining power and agency that she was always denied due to her position in the story.

Davepeta, as I stated in a previous post, is the true Final Form of Dave, the pawn that made it to the end of the board, the only surviving character from Homestuck's "original" timeline, and is truly happy with themselves.

And Jasprose appears to have fully hurled herself through the walls Rose put up around herself to protect her image, and thus absolutely mortifies Rose. She just seems to be having a great time.

Homestuck evolved from a story that was deeply cynical and mean-spirited about furrydom, to a story where three of our four starting protagonists, in their truest most powerful forms, combine the qualities of man and beast to achieve self-actualization. And to bring this back around to queerness, these three characters also happen to be canonically queer. So there's that.

This isn't even to get into how this might relate to Troll Lusii and the concept of "growing up" to be more like one's parent on a planet raised by animals, but that's for another day.

[musicalmoritz]

It’s canon Mitsuba’s gay?

I’m gonna use this as an excuse to yap because Mitsuba’s queercoding is either weirdly downplayed by fans or used solely for BL shipping purposes so I want to talk about it through the lens of what it means for his character, role in the story, and relationship with Kou

Yes, Mitsuba is canonically gay

Things don’t have to be explicitly stated in order to be canon, subtext is a major part of media analysis. This is something a lot of fans miss which leads to a misunderstanding of the source material. I do have some credentials for this, I’ve taken two undergrad college literature classes in which the subject of queercoding did come up multiple times. Meaning analyzing queercoding has literally gone towards my degree so I feel like my opinion holds some weight (not as much as that of an actual English major but yk I assume I’ve had more education on it than the general TBHK fandom)

There are multiple ways to queercode a character, sometimes it can be as simple as feminizing a man or masculinizing a woman. Though that method might be a bit outdated nowadays with gender roles becoming less strict, it’s still worth keeping in mind when analyzing queer characters. Another way is through romantically colored scenes with characters of the same sex, or by having them hint at disinterest in the opposite sex. Mitsuba checks off all three of these boxes and then some

First off, Mitsuba is attracted to men. This is made extremely obvious through his relationship with Kou but I’m gonna explain it anyways because unfortunately I’ve seen a lot of fans say they’re just platonic

Mitsuba and Kou went on a date. When this is brought up, fans typically jump to the excuse of “but Kou said it wasn’t a date,” which is where my American Lit class is going to come in handy. One of the major things we learned is that authors have to understand that everything they write has some sort of real world connotation. If you write a scene with a doctor, you have to understand that your readers already have preconceived notions of what doctors represent. You can choose to either lean into that or subvert it, but you have to be aware that as soon as a doctor enters the scene, readers have already made assumptions about that character

The word “date” is clearly being used in a romantic context here. When Kou texts his friends and brother about it, they all assume he’s talking about a romantic date. While in the actual context of the scene, Mitsuba and Kou aren’t quite ready to use such a strong label yet, the romantic wording here is still very intentional. AidaIro would not have labeled this moment as a date if they didn’t want readers to view it in a romantic light, because they understand that their readers are going to associate dates with romance. Japanese censorship is really strict, it’s hard to publish stories with explicitly queer characters unless the series is labeled as a BL or GL. And so Japanese manga writers often have to find roundabout ways to express that characters are gay without outright stating it- such as suggesting that they’re going on a date with a character of the same sex

In the printed volume for Vol.20, there’s an editor’s note that mentions that when Kou and Mitsuba are making plans to hang out at the school festival, it holds a romantic implication for the Japanese audience. Cultural differences are important to keep in mind, to western fans this scene might not raise any eyebrows but for its primary audience, it is confirmation that Mitsuba and Kou are romantic. I also find it interesting that the editor felt this context was important enough to warrant clarification

And frankly, their relationship doesn’t make a lot of sense if it’s solely platonic. Male friendship is something TBHK writes very realistically, the male characters aren’t as touchy-feely with their friends as they are with their female love interests. Yokoo and Satou don’t directly ask Kou how he’s feeling when they notice he’s upset, instead they give him a task to distract him- similar to how men in real life cheer their friends up through quality time rather than talking through their emotions like women do (not every man ofc but a good majority of them). When Teru is down, Akane doesn’t hold him and reassure him the way he does with Aoi. There are no grand declarations of ultimate “friendship” the way you see in fan servicy series like Haikyuu. Instead, he used his and Teru’s rivalry to indirectly motivate him to get his head back in the game. When Hanako is sad, Kou cheers him up by making donuts for him and then giving them to Nene so she can pretend she’s the one who made them. This is a very healthy portrayal of male friendship, and Mitsuba and Kou are nothing like this

Mitsuba and Kou both cry and vent to each other multiple times (the Mitsuba Arc, the Picture Perfect Arc, the Nightlife Arc), and instead of comforting each other indirectly they do things like offering to die for each other. You would never see Akane offer to die to make Teru feel better, nor would you Aoi and Nene or Kou and Hanako. It stands out so much from other friendships in the series, even Kou’s friendships with other characters. That is a conscious writing decision, AidaIro make a point to show Mitsuba as an exception for Kou. It’s worth noting that in the same chapter where Yokoo and Satou cheer Kou up indirectly, Mitsuba attempts to directly have him talk about his feelings

They’re also incredibly possessive over one another, in a way friends usually aren’t. When Kou was in the Red House, he was shown his greatest desires, and Mitsuba appeared in one of these. Kou said he knew Mitsuba would appear, which is interesting because at that point he had already picked up on the house showing him what he wanted. But what does he want? He wants Mitsuba to rely on him entirely, to be completely useless without him. He wants Mitsuba to be “no good without him,” to need him so badly that he begs him to die so they can be together. I’m not exaggerating, these are lines pulled straight from the chapter (paraphrased but still). Later on in the Nightlife arc, Kou breaks down when he discovers Mitsuba has been relying on Tsukasa for life-saving help. As for Mitsuba, he wants to die by Kou’s hands. He says it wouldn’t be satisfying if anyone else killed him, and that he would be happy if Kou were to be the last person he spent time with before he died. He tries to trap Kou in a picture perfect world just like Hanako does with Nene, because he wants to live a normal life with him. It’s also shown in one of the extras that Mitsuba cries when Kou ignores him

They’re also drawn very romantically, again we don’t see Teru and Akane this intimate with one another unless they’re fighting. We especially don’t see Kou this intimate with anyone other than Mitsuba, and while Mitsuba is sometimes clingy with Tsukasa we certainly never see him posed romantically with a woman. This comes back to authorial intent and real world connotations, AidaIro know that male friends aren’t typically this close, and therefore casual affection like this will be interpreted in a romantic light. We see them hold hands/wrists multiple times too, Kou gives Mitsuba a piggyback ride in one scene, and in ASHK they had a classic “pinned against the wall” page

I’ll also mention the AUs, because those indicate a lot about the characters as well. In Hanako-Kun of the Opera, Kou poisoned Mitsuba so he could take him away from the opera house and protect him from Tsukasa. He basically kidnapped him. He also stayed with Mitsuba at the opera house for a seemingly long period of time despite hating opera. Aaaaand they’re childhood best friends in this au and Kou took care of Mitsuba while he was sick

Then there’s the Ghost Hotel, where Kou is a werewolf who takes bites out of mummy Mitsuba during full moons. Despite this, the two appear to be friends and Mitsuba helps Kou out around the kitchen. Cannibalism is consistently tied to romance throughout TBHK, most notably with Hakubo and Sumire but other romantic pairings have cannibalistic moments or official arts. During the zombie mokke chapter, Nene panicked when Akane tries to eat her because she assumed it would put her in a love triangle with Aoi. So yeah, cannibalism in TBHK is directly tied to romance and we see that with Mitsukou both in canon and in this au. Speaking of which, I’m not even gonna get into the symbolism of Kou holding a heart out to Mitsuba. Connect the dots for yourselves

Now that we’ve got Mitsukou out of the way, let’s talk about Mitsuba’s disinterest in women

Remember how I said one of the ways queercoding is done is by having a character hint at disinterest in the opposite sex? Yeah, very rarely are we going to see a queercoded male character outright say “I have no attraction to women.” Instead they say they just never saw the appeal in dating, or that they never had time to settle down. In more obvious cases, we have scenes like Reiner from AOT joking that Ymir isn’t all that into guys

I couldn’t find the second scene but there are TWO extras where the subject of Mitsuba’s disinterest in women comes up. C’mon guys I’m trying not to be mean here but you have to be blind, oblivious, or in denial to not pick up on that. Whyyyyy would they mention Mitsuba not having a crush on any girls twice if it weren’t to suggest something about his preference?? Coupled with his appearance (which I’ll get to later) and relationship with Kou, these scenes carry a lot of weight. Even if those other aspects weren’t included, scenes like this would still indicate he has no interest in women (which would make him gay or aroace, though due to his relationship with Kou the aroace thing is kind of ruled out)

Compare this to a scene where Mitsuba thinks he’s being asked out by a man. He doesn’t say “hmmm nope no guys, I’m cuter than all of them~” he specifically says “I’m not interested in guys with lame earrings.” The way this is worded implies that Mitsuba is discussing a type, though it’s v much a comedic scene and we know from everything else that he absolutely does like guys with lame earrings, it’s still worded in a way that makes him appear queer. If he were straight, they would have had him say he’s not interested in guys at all (like Dazai from Bungou Stray Dogs, John Watson from BBC Sherlock, Finn Hudson from Glee, idk there are a lot of male characters that are explicit straight sorry for the crazy random list). Also note how he teases Kou about it, he knows that Kou is fond of him and doesn’t hesitate to use that against him (like when he was comforting him during the Nightlife arc)

They don’t go overboard with Mitsuba’s disinterest in women because, well, that’s not really necessary. Two scenes is already a lot, and he doesn’t have any romantic relationships with women in canon (even as a crush/a joke scene). It’s rare for TBHK characters to have absolutely no scenes expressing interest in the opposite sex, since the series is partially a romance. But Mitsuba consistently only ever shows interest in one man, and when girls are brought up he’s quick to brush it off. His mom did think Nene was his girlfriend when they met, but this was depicted as a very awkward and comedic scene. Because the premise of Mitsuba having a girlfriend is objectively hilarious

(Due to Sousuke’s young age it’s reasonable to assume he wasn’t out to his mom yet, he’s around the age where most kids are closeted. It’s even possible that Sousuke hadn’t come to terms with his sexuality yet, though it’s still a prevalent part of both his character and No.3’s)

Now let’s move onto appearances. I want to give a quick disclaimer, not all gay men are feminine and not all feminine men are gay. Androgyny is also very common in anime and doesn’t automatically mean a character is gay, but there are cases when it’s used for queercoding. Mitsuba is one of these cases

Mitsuba is a very feminine character, this is addressed as soon as he shows up in the manga. He was bullied for his appearance (and personality), but unlike his personality he never tried to change his feminine appearance. He kept his hair long, continues to wear scarves and cardigans and earrings. No.3 wears these things as well, and I would argue has a more feminine personality since he seems to be more open about his emotions and idk. I struggle to categorize feminine and masculine traits because imo that’s subjective but there are things society deems feminine vs. masculine. The problem is that I really dislike the whole “men are strong and women are emotional” thing but ehhhh I guess I have to talk about it for this. Hmph. But yeah although Mitsuba isn’t exactly the biggest sweetheart ever, he does act somewhat feminine compared to the other male characters (as I’ve said he’s p much the only man in the series who attempts to work through emotional conflicts directly)

Once again we circle back to intent, AidaIro know that a male character dressed in pink with pink eyes and long pink hair is going to raise some eyebrows. Even by androgynous anime standards, it’s a bit much. And good for him, although not all gay men are feminine, some are and that’s also fine. I can’t speak on how well he represents feminine gay men because I’m a lesbian but he does dress similar to some of the feminine gay men I’ve known irl (or slightly less feminine in some cases…I knew this one dude in high school who used to wear corsets to class and he was so badass I hope he’s doing well)

I could get into how Kou is a bit feminized too with the whole housework thing but this ain’t abt him. I will say that Kou is still a very masculine character but despite this his character is feminized in some ways compared to the other men. I’m not really here to discuss whether that’s good or bad, I’m just stating the evidence as it is, you can make your own conclusions as to how you feel about it

So how does being queer impact Mitsuba’s character arc?

When I get around to writing my analyses of all the TBHK characters I WILL be talking more in depth about the queer allegories with Mitsuba’s character but for now I’ll give ya’ll a quick summary. Supernatural characters have been used for years to represent queerness, the same could be said for villains and any character trope that represents a feeling of “otherness.” Sometimes it’s more broad like X-Men, where the superpowered characters are used to represent all types of minorities (though I believe X-Men is more closely tied to race, there are rampant queer themes as well). Then there’s books like Interview with the Vampire that get more specific with it, where Louis denying his “true nature” as a vampire is used as an allegory for him denying his queerness. Well I’m here to tell you that Mitsuba and Louis de Pointe du Lac are in the same boat

Mitsuba differs from the other supernaturals because he desperately tries to hold on to feelings of normalcy. He wants to be a normal human and live a normal human life. He doesn’t want to be othered, to be outcasted from society for something he can’t control. We don’t see Hanako, Tsuchigomori, Mei, or any of the other supernatural characters struggle with this. You could argue that Akane does but his situation is more related to learning to empathize with others than any internal battles within himself. Hanako may have moments of wishing him and Nene could have something more, but that’s more about romance than his identity.

This desire to be “normal” is unique to Mitsuba’s character, and it’s a very queer desire. Being an angsty teenager who hasn’t fully accepted themself yet and hasn’t realized that being queer is not only normal, but a beautiful experience. It’s also so interesting to me that as he’s trying so hard to be normal, it creates a push and pull between him and Kou. He wants to be normal for Kou but he also feels that he’s hurting Kou just by existing, that this could only end bad for him. Oh the inherent guilt of having your first gay crush and feeling like you're corrupting them hist for pining from afar

So, can you ship him with women? Technically you can do anything, shipping isn’t illegal and we all have free will. Should you ship him with women is more subjective, I personally think no!! Queerness is not just a sexuality, it’s an identity that deeply impacts who you are as a person. It shapes your experiences and your view of yourself, and in an allegorical way it has certainly done this for Mitsuba. Yes, bi people are queer as well and this is still true for them, but bisexuality is not Mitsuba’s experience. Mono-attraction exists and that specification is very important to gay men and lesbians. For some people sexuality is fluid and that’s beautiful, but it doesn’t work that way for everyone

Some queer fans don’t care if gay characters are shipped with members of the opposite sex, and they’re entitled to their own opinions. It makes me immensely uncomfortable tho, so please block me if you ship Mitsuba with women. That goes for any ships between canon gay/lesbian characters and the opposite sex. I respect people’s right to have opinions but that doesn’t mean I have to like the opinions themselves, and I don’t have to engage with anything that makes me uneasy. That goes for all of you btw, never let people convince you that you have to put up with shit you hate on the internet lmao, this is not real life babes. Block and move on

TL;DR

Mitsuba is too gay to function

[adolfusraptor1985]

My Opinion on Physical Shifters

Honestly, I don't get why this subject rubs people the wrong way. Because I want people who follow, or even interact with my blog, to know where my general opinions stand, I feel the need to express how I feel on this matter in particular.

Long story short, I support physical shifters.

Listen. Physical shifters have the right to express their identity and experiences just as much as any other being. There are two major misconceptions/opinions that run rampant through the non/alterhuman and therian community. One being that all physical shifters are delusional, and the other being that all delusions should be "fixed". Both of these statements are (I feel) incredibly wrong and harmful to innocent beings.

First of all, I want to state that I do not believe all physical shifters to be suffering from delusions. Nonhumanity as a whole is such a nuanced and complex identity that we simply do not understand it well enough to put clinical labels on it. I've also seen physical shifters describe their experiences more similarly to that of how many physical nonhuman identities work. A "physical shift" could happen on a level not visible to other people. There could be a veil that covers a being's true form, making them appear human when they are not. People also experience reality differently than others. Just because something seems like a delusion to other's doesn't mean that it's not that person's reality.

Secondly, I don't believe that all delusions need to be fixed. In the vast majority of physical shifters I've seen, their delusions to not cause any major impairments on daily life. Sure, physical shifters will often express the hardships of their experiences, but hardships aren't the same as impairments. Plenty of physical shifts learn on their own how to properly manage and cope with their delusions while living a fulfilling life. These types of delusions are not something that needs to be "fixed".

As a bit of a closing, I want to throw in how I actually relate to physical shifters as a physical nonhuman. I believe fully in the idea that my human body is basically an illusion and that I'm the only one who can see my true physical form. Sometimes, this form feels very nonhuman and stands out to me. Other times, it's faded, and my nonhuman identity doesn't feel as physical. I consider myself a werefox, as I feel like my physical form (the one others can't see) shifts from more to less nonhuman. I'm fully aware that others may view this as a delusion, but I still believe it because it's how I experience my own reality. So, in a bit of a roundabout way, I'm honestly questioning if I could apply the term physical shifter to myself.

[user2772636]

Douzième Fille

12th Girl

××《☆》××

××《☆》××

Some chances are taken too late. You only realise what you've lost when you're starting to lose them. Goodbyes are hard, especially when you've just started.

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Joseph Descamps x Reader

Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST, turn back now I'm warning you, goodbyes, intimate scenes, MAJOR heartbreak, swearing

References to Call Me By Your Name

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Chapter eight: Joseph, Joseph, Joseph

===

It was hot that morning. I woke up in a layer of sweat, windows exuding heat, hair clinging on my neck, my blanket on the hardwood floor.

George sits on the window frame, taking the heat opposite of how I was.

I get up, groaning with a slight headache. I place my feet on the floor, keeping my eyes closed for the time being, trying to relax and gain back my senses.

There'd been a feeling in me this whole time, but as I woke up, it felt so much more evident. A clench in my chest.

I don't know where it came from or when it started, but I felt it there. It never really took my attention. Maybe it was from whatever position I was in. Or if I hadn't eaten or drank enough.

Summer is just around the corner, but I don't want it to start. It was always something I looked forward to.

Dipping into cold waters under the heat of the afternoon sun, eating fruits with their juices spilling over countertops and silverware. Tanning, sunburns, dry mouths from salt water. Then winter comes and you wait for summer again.

It's probably because I'm expecting something I know won't be there. But what is it? I have a summer job now, and I'm headed to Paris. What else could I possibly want?

I know exactly what. It's not that I'm afraid of it. It's because I can't change it. And it hurts.

Summer is when I'm supposed to be happy. He's ruined all of that now. I've got to get a grip, too. He won't care, so I shouldn't. But I care. I care a lot.

This isn't something I should think about. I'll forget him as soon as I get to Paris. I'll forget anything that's happened between us, even if nothing really did. I'll forget, and I'll forever have that feeling that I felt now. That something's there, and I'm not giving it attention.

Because deep down, I know what it is. And, it hurts.

××《☆》××

The walk to school was short-lived and ordinary. Nothing special happened. It was just brighter; which didn't really match my mood.

I was also a bit late. Most of the students were already heading in, and the bell rang as soon as I stepped through the gate.

I make my way up the staircase, keeping my head downcast and not paying anyone any mind.

All throught class it wasn't special. We did assignments, lectures, and all common school things. But the sound of pages being flipped, ink on paper, pattering of floorboards, it comforted me. I knew those sounds would stay with me throughout my life. People don't.

When class was dismissed, I took my time. I might not see this school again. I might move back to Paris. I might not see Michèle or Simone as much. And I won't, more so refuse to see Joseph ever.

It was afternoon now, so everything's brighter than this morning. And everything's hotter, too. I shade my face with my hands, squinting to see Callum's well-known car on the side of the road.

He's outside leaning on the door, smoking. I'm guessing his third cigarette today. He still has his wide smile on, and I wonder if his cheeks ever hurt.

"Good afternoon, pretty girl." He says as he patches his cigarette out. "How are you?"

"Hot." I shrug, going around the car with Callum as he opens the passenger door for me. I get inside, him as well after doing another roundabout the car.

"Well, love how you state what I already know." I think about that sentence for a while, sensing it was off. I realise what he meant, and I smack his arm.

"Oh, what now? Let me be funny!" I roll my eyes as he starts the car, a faint smile on my face. One thing I know for sure is that Callum is one of the people who would stay with me throughout my life. He was the reason I'm going back to Paris, the reason I have somewhat of a career. And I'm glad I met him, even with the circumstances of difficult feelings.

Whilst I talked about my day to him, I had realised nothing special happened because I didn't interact with Joseph. The day felt gloomy. It felt so underwhelming, so boring, because he wasn't involved.

"And it's so weird because we hadn't talked since that dinner." I tell Callum, who's been listening to me this whole time. We decided to go to a lake to cool off. It was a bit well known, but not too crowded since the school season isn’t off yet.

I made a quick pick up in my house, including a goodbye to George.

Going back, Callum nods. His hand flexes on the steering wheel.

"So, let me round this up. Joseph's mother invited you to dinner, then teased both you and him, then when he walks you out to their place, some girl-"

"The girl from the alley."

"The girl from the alley pops up from nowhere, fully dressed up."

"Exactly."

"But, why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"I mean, sure, I've never met her, but who could compete against you?"

"Okay, Callum, whatever-"

"No, I mean, how stupid can Joseph be to pick anyone but you?" This makes my breath catch on my throat.

"Don't call him stupid, Callum. He's fucking brilliant."

He quiets down, smile fading just a bit from my serious tone.

"Sorry." I had apologised.

"No need. It's fine. I just... you know what I meant."

"Yeah, I knew what you meant. Just... instict, you know?"

"I get that. You're in love, so you're defensive." He shrugs and starts to smile again. He's holding in a laugh.

"Shut up." I glare.

"Not gonna happen." I don't want it to happen.

××《☆》××

The next morning was the same. It was hot, I took a longer shower, got dressed, said goodbye to George, and headed to school.

This time, I met with Simone. I ask her about Michèle, getting worried that she hasn't come to school for two days straight. Before she could respond, she stopped in her tracks, seeing Jean Pierre across the hall.

"I- I'm sorry, Y/N, but I really need to talk to Jean Pierre. Stay here, please?" She scrunches up her face in guilt, but I simply shrug it off, knowing that if she wants to talk to someone, I shouldn't stop her. Especially if that someone is her boyfriend. Or whatever he is.

They go ahead to talk, me staying at the same place she left me, keeping a close eye on them. I lean against the wall, the hallway now a lot more quiet than when the bell rang a few minutes ago.

Their conversation lasted for only a bit because I saw Jean Pierre walking away. I head to Simone's side.

"So, what did you talk about?" She's still, and there's no emotion on her face. I worry.

"He just broke up with me." Oh. I pull her into a side hug, not knowing whether she was devastated with the news or if she was okay with it. She looked like both but neither at the same time.

I nod towards the stairwell, deciding for the both of us we should head to the courtyard to have our break. Or the bathroom for a quick cry.

We pass by a group of boys, and one of them keeps his eyes on me. Then, when I turned to glance at who it was, I realised it was just an eye.

In that moment, everything in me faded away. All the hate towards him, all the sadness, all the misunderstanding. I just wanted to talk to him again. For one last time. So I did.

"Joseph," I stop in my tracks. I tell Simone to keep going, that I'm fine left alone. She nods in acknowledgement and walks down the staircase.

I turn around to meet his stare. My breath catches in my throat, not having this kind of interaction in a while.

I walk towards him, a bit slow. "Can I talk to you?" I pause. "Alone?"

His friends tease him and push him around lightly, but his eyes are still as well as his whole body. I fear his heart might be, too.

He simply nods and silently eyes his friends to go. We're left alone near the window and take a seat in the space.

"You must be wondering why I'm talking to you again so suddenly." He stays quiet, looking down.

"Joseph..." I scoot closer. I bring both my hands up to his cheeks, only hovering above them.

He stays silent. I bring my hands back until he leans forward and into them, gently grabbing my wrists and holding them still. I feel the air come out of his nose as he exhales, body slumping down.

"I'm sorry. For everything. Ignoring you was one of the most stupid things I've done. Being angry was second." I tilt my head to see if he's opened his eye, but he keeps them closed. His thumb rubs one of my wrists.

"You should be with anyone you want to be with. It shouldn't matter to me. But, it did." He lifts his head, peering an eye. His mouth opens, then closes again. I keep going.

"I missed you. I've been missing you. I miss all the times we weren't mad at each other." I caress his cheeks, and he leans into my touch.

"I was never mad at you." Joseph says, but I shake my head.

"You were. And that's fine. It's okay to be mad at me. I get it." He furrows his brows at me.

"Don't say that. I was never mad at you. I've never been mad at you."

"But what about all those times you shouted at me? Those times in the streets?" He sighs deeply, not as relaxed as before.

"I was mad at myself, but I was letting it out on you. And I'm sorry about that. But trust me, I could never be mad at you."

We just stare at each other after. The silence fills the air, and it's the first time it was like this in a while. I had to tell him.

"I'm leaving." I feel his breath stop, and it's so nauseating.

"What?" He mumbles out.

"I'm leaving." I repeat.

"For the summer?" He squints, the gears turning in his head. I wish it was only for the summer.

"No," I look down. "For good."

He pulls away from my hands, sitting straight again.

"No..." He shakes his head. "Don't lie to me."

"I would never." I look him dead in the eye, not wanting him to think that I would ever do.

"Exactly. I know you'd never. So why are you lying to me now? This is some joke, right? Like a cliffhanger for next year. Right?" I simply stare at him.

"Y/N, please tell me you're lying. I'll let it slide. Tell me you're lying." He begs, grabbing a hold of my dropped hands.

I don't move. I don't look at him. I don't say anything. That was enough of an answer.

"No..." He whispers. He does it all over again as he gets up and paces. He rubs at his eye, and I get up and say "Stop."

He stills. I see the tear stains reflect off his cheeks from the sunlight outside coming in. His head is down as it was before. I sigh deeply, placing my hands on his shoulders.

"Come here." I pull him in, and he immediately engulfs me in an embrace. He sobs desperately, and I try my hardest not to join him.

A series of "please don't go"s spill out of his quivering mouth, and my brain goes numb. He's shaking. His heart is pounding. His mind's all over the place.

I hush him, rubbing his back like I do with a baby, whispering nothings into his ear. When he stops, his body is still slumped down to hold mine.

"We wasted so many days. Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He asks once we're sat back down the window.

"I tried. I promise. We were still mad." He laughs, and it's been such a long time that my brain got nostalgia.

"Fuck. I'm gonna miss you all over again." He bites his lip as he looks down, fiddling with the inseam of his pants. I purse my lips together.

"We'll keep in touch." He shakes his head.

"You'd be everywhere."

"I'll call your home phone."

"I'm not gonna be home in the summer."

"I'll call wherever you are."

"Thank god you thought of something for that because I was ready to start sobbing again." He laughs again, and the suns back in his eyes. Like it left and came back.

I grab a hold of his hands, stopping him from fidgeting. I make him look back up at me.

"I promise I'll phone you every day. I'll send you letters, postcards, and pictures. I'll even send you some magazines I'm in." I shrug, and he smiles.

"I don't think you have to do that last one. I'm keeping my eye on every magazine booth here on out." We chuckle together. We stay quiet again, then Joseph tucks my hair behind my ear.

"You're beautiful, Y/N Pardine. You'll do great out there. I'm only a phone call or a pen away." I flush at his bluntness and smile sweetly. He does, too.

××《☆》××

The party happened. We spent almost the whole time together. We had even danced.

An American song called "At Last" plays in the background as Joseph holds me, dancing slowly.

His hands cup my waist, my arms wrapped around his neck, his forehead against mine. I play with the ends of his hair as he caresses my body.

We laugh, we drink, we talk, and we glance. We do what we missed. We held each other. We absorbed one another.

There was a time in that party that happened between Simone and Jean Pierre. Thank god he finally said something of the truth, because that breakup was a straight lie.

Anyways, the night ended, but nothing happened. I don't know what I was expecting, but there was a feeling something special could've happened to me. Like a string tugging on my insides.

Something to do with pretty pink lips.

××《☆》××

The next morning, I woke up with his arms around me.

He smelt of fading whiskey, cigarette smoke, and expensive cologne. Just as he always did.

His eye patch was off, his hair a mess, and his jacket's on the floor. His shirt is wrinkled, he's breathing evenly as one does in their sleep, and there's a small snore coming from him. It's adorable.

When I get up, or at least try to, his grip on me tightens. Not in a way that hurts, but it's strong enough for me to come collapsing on his chest. He's warm again.

"Five more minutes." He groans, and I sigh deeply. Five more minutes will be alright.

Ten minutes pass, and only then do we get up. I hand him a towel and some clothes, my father's again, then one of my own, then usher him to the bathroom. I fix our bed, pick his jacket up off the floor, and fold it neatly.

Once I hear the shower turn off and the door creak, I try my best not to turn and just... stare. It's creepy, I know. But, who could blame me? I mean, I was leaving for good.

Right. Leaving for good.

I feel his arms wrap around my waist, his head tucking into my neck, his nose poking at some sensitive spots. I squeal silently, and he chuckles to himself, the vibration of his chest spreading around my back.

"Want some breakfast?" He whispers. George lies by the windowsill, watching the both of us in embrace. His tail moves around, eyes blinking slowly. He's glowing from the sunlight hitting him.

"If you don't mind. Please, and thank you." I turn my head a bit towards him. He nods, pressing a kiss to my hair. I smile to myself whilst I check things off my list last minute.

He's done with breakfast by the time I finish my quick shower. I'm fully dressed now. The only things missing are my coat and my suitcases.

Joseph sits across from me. We were in this position before.

"So, how's Callum? Still a prick?" He says as he stabs on some of the eggs he made. I finish my bite before answering.

"Callum's doing fine. I don't know why you've always been so off about him. He's a good guy." I shrug, tilting my head for an answer. "What's got you like that?"

He sighs, dropping his utensils gently on the table top. I place a hand over his, and he turns it to hold mine.

"Felt like he stole you from me." He mumbles, but it was clear enough for me to hear.

I purse my lips at this remark. "No one's gonna keep me away from you. Except that girl that actually did." I laugh as Joseph groans.

"I already told you, I didn't even know her." From this, I kept going.

"Well, then why did you basically call me a slut?" I raise my eyebrows in amusement, as to show that I moved on from it. Still, I was curious.

He pauses. For a long time. I begin to worry, thinking he actually meant it. I try to pull my hand away, but his grip turns firm.

"No." Joseph whispers out of desperation. He's taking deep breaths. I can tell he's overthinking. But I need to know the truth.

"You've got to tell me, Joseph. Otherwise, we'll shrug each other off again. Do you want that?" I push on him. He needs to tell me. I need to know.

"No. I don't want that. Just..." He closes his eyes, readying himself.

"The boys wanted to talk to you. I couldn't let them. I knew how they meant. And I'll just put it simply that they meant badly. So I had to tell them things about you that weren't true so they could get pushed away from the idea of you." He cups my cheeks from across the table. I lean into his touch.

"I don't want anyone to take advantage of you. Thank whatever god is up there that I found out because if I hadn't..." He breathes in deeply, caressing my face with his thumb. "I don't even want to think about that. Okay?"

I nod. I get up from my seat to give him a hug. He remains seated, his face pressed up on my stomach. I rub his back and comb fingers through his hair.

He stands up slowly, hands still attached to my hips. They roam up to my wait as he hovers over me, and I feel my breath hitch in my throat. He's so close. His nose just bumps into mine. He's looking down at me. At my eyes. At my lips. His breath is haggard.

"Callum's probably waiting." I whisper, my breath fanning over both our lips. Our lips only an inch away from eachother.

"Let him wait." His voice is low. He's starting to make my knees buckle.

A loud crash is heard throughout the flat. I yelp away from him. Now we're feet away from each other, cheeks flushed and hair tousled. As if we did something. And we didn't even.

George meows on the kitchen counter, staring at us innocently with the keys now on the floor. I sigh deeply, walking towards him and picking him up.

"Oh, I hope you don't mind, but," I hand George to Joseph. "My baby's yours."

His eye widens in surprise, then he switches his gaze from me to the cat, then back to me, then back to the cat.

"I can't..." I shake my head, smiling.

"He's yours, Joseph. That's final. He already loves you more than me. It's alright. Plus everytime you see him, you think of me."

He flushes, demeanour relaxing. "I already think of you too much."

It's my turn to flush now. But I respond. "Good."

××《☆》××

We arrive at the train station. I bid a thank you and goodbye to Joseph's mother, hugging her for a short while. Joseph carries all my belongings.

I spot Callum at a bench.

"Callum, you remember Joseph." I nod to Joseph. He drops my things next to Callum's.

"Of course I do. The infamous lover boy. It was nice meeting you, man." Callum shakes Joseph's hand. Joseph purses his lips tightly, gripping on Callum's hand.

"I'm still not sure about you... but she trusts you, so I should, too." Callum nods firmly. They let go of their handshake.

"Well, I better get our things in. Say your final goodbyes." He moves to go in the train. Me and Joseph are alone again.

"Got your pretty things intact?" Joseph teases, and I simply laugh.

"Yes, I do." I look up at him. He moves closer, hands on his hips.

"One day, I'll hear those words again." There's a feeling in me. Like dejavu, but a feeling from the future. I couldn't explain it, but what he said made sense. Like I knew, I would say those words again, too.

We stand in silence. I walked closer, embracing him for one last time. He leans down, his hands tight around me, his head over mine. I feel a lump in my throat.

We held each other for one last time. We smelt each other for one last time. We absorbed each other one last time.

I try to pull away, but he pulls me back in. The lump grows bigger.

When we finally pull away, my eyes start to sting. I palm my throat, trying to push that growing lump down. His hands are on my shoulders. He lets go.

"Goodbye, Y/N Pardine." He mutters, his voice breaking.

"Goodbye, Joseph Descamps." I mock him with a smile on my face.

I turn around and walk on the train. Joseph follows me, guiding me up the steps. His hand holds onto mine. I hang on the pole.

The train blares its horns, and it starts to move very slowly. The tears escape my eyes. He wipes it away.

"Y/N," he says. "I love you."

I sob. I laugh. It's a bit ugly.

"I love you, too. So much."

He stands on his toes and kisses me. His pretty pink lips are finally on mine. I grip the trains pole harder.

The trains blares again, and my kisses become more desperate. The train moves faster and faster, and Joseph starts to run. His lips start parting from mine, tears dropping even more.

"Come back to me, Y/N!" He shouts. He's still running. He's laughing now. And he's crying. He's beautiful. He gets farther, farther, and farther.

Then he's gone.

××《☆》××

End- Chapter eight: Joseph, Joseph, Joseph

Next- Chapter nine: ______

××《☆》××

I'm actually crying omfg. This hits so diff w the song in the background. Its short but omfg the angst. Help me. Hahhahahahaha.

[alexdswfan]

About Levi and Hange's communication skills

A concept I've always wanted to talk about that I haven't really seen many people discuss in the AoT fandom is the communication going on between Levi and Hange whose bond is greatly defined by this concept. They share in my opinion some of the best if not the best communication skills I've ever seen not only in AoT but also in any other form of media I've ever consumed. From the manga evidence I've gathered displaying these characteristics, we can deduce some interesting information about their relationship that I think is worth discussing. I think Levi and Hange are actually closer than what certain people might believe due to these incredible communication skills, and I'll show how communication and closeness affect one another.

A quick heads up, when I say Levi and Hange are close, it's not meant in a romantic way and it will be never be seen as such since neither Levi nor Hange have romantic canon ships in the story. Their closeness to each other will rather be regarded as platonic, almost feeling like a partnership between two friends, and after rereading the manga, I do think Isayama tried to write their bond as a very close partnership rather than some other kind of relationship. Additionally, the fact Levi and Hange are this close doesn't mean that Hange is more important to Levi than other characters with whom he shares a relationship just because he might be closer with them than with others. There's no hierarchy in Levi's heart in regard to his emotional connections with people, meaning that his friendship with Hange means as much to him as his friendships with other characters. Hange brings something in Levi's life other characters don't, but the other way around is also true. I'll only be focusing on the characteristics Hange brings to Levi in this post, but keep in mind that Levi's bonds with others all enrich him in different ways and they're all important to him, and stating otherwise in my opinion is to not understand the fundamentals of Levi's character.

But now back to Levi and Hange specifically, I've seen some people among fandom spaces claim instead that Levi hates Hange or that Levi doesn't care about Hange as much as he cares about other characters, and to that I'd like to counter-argument, explaining why these negative misconceptions can't be further from the truth and how they do a huge disservice to Levi's character in particular.

The first evidence to showcase Levi and Hange's communication skills in a way that's more significant than what we've seen so far happens in chapter 53, Smoke Signal, and is unfortunately a manga-only scene. For a bit of context, this chapter shows the experiments Eren is making in order to improve his hardening skills while the Survey Corps are into hiding, hunted by the Military Police. Then later, after the experimenting session is over, Eren asks about how the experiments went, and we see this interaction occur between Levi and Hange.

There are many details revealed in this scene about Levi's character and how Hange adapts to his personality. So, Levi has a very roundabout way with words when he explains something and no one really seems to understand him. However, Hange is the only person seen to kindly 'translate' what Levi just said so the others present with them in the room can understand better. And in the second panel, Levi acknowledges that Hange understood his words well as he thanks them for their clearer explanation.

This scene shows that Hange needs to have a high level of closeness with Levi in order to be the only person in the room to understand him. Communication is a hard skill to develop with others, therefore this interaction between them can't be explained simply by Hange's intelligence or by the fact that they're good at ‘getting people’. This then means Levi and Hange must communicate extremely well with one another if Hange can even pass as “Levi’s translator” for others. Hange needs to understand Levi's perspective on the world in order to explain his speech to others in a way they can understand as well, which is extremely hard to achieve. The most plausible explanation for this interaction is that Hange and Levi developed a level of communication unlike any other through the years they've known each other, allowing Hange to correctly interpret his words for others who aren't as familiar with his perspective as Hange is. It's possible that in order to reach that, Hange might've been helped by their own innate ability to understand people in general, just like Levi, but the fact remains that communication between them had to be honed and perfected for this scene to happen.

The second evidence that truly solidifies their communication skills happens later on in the manga and anime, and in the manga it happens in chapter 106, Brave Volunteers. For a bit of context, it's a scene that happens during the 4 years time-skip when the Survey Corps have captured a Marleyan ship and have met with Yelena and Onyankopon, the anti-Marleyan volunteers who want to work with Paradis to oppose Marley. Hange and Levi are in a meeting with them to discuss their motivations for going against Marley when this interaction occurs between Levi and Hange.

They are seen understanding each other simply through thoughts (as shown by thought bubbles), which is proof of how strong their communication skills are. They’re literally doing telepathy in a world where such superpower doesn’t exist. They understand each other so well that one glance from the other is all they need in order to communicate together. This level of communication they share is unmatched throughout the series, because in order to do telepathy with someone else, something almost unattainable in real life, the people involved need to have a perfect understanding of the other's mind, the other's inner thoughts, which is something that can be achieved only through getting to know enough that person, and even then it's no easy feat. While it is true that the conversation they've shared wasn't very complicated, it's still surreal that they managed to pull it off so effortlessly. This can only be explained by the numerous years they've spent constantly being at each other's side, and this scene is the literal manifestation of such closeness taking shape in their lives to the point they can understand one another simply through eye contact.

I've seen a few people question the legitimacy of this scene and claim that thought bubbles here mean that they whispered this conversation to each other, however the anime version of this scene is actually what backs up the telepathy theory and solidifies it even further. In season 4, character thoughts are shown through showing the eyes of the character without their lips moving while the voice actor speaks their thoughts in the background. These are two examples of Mikasa and Hange shown when they speak in their minds taken from Season 4 Part 1 Episode 10: A Sound Argument during their meeting with the Azumabito clan.

Back to the telepathy scene, this is how the anime decided to show it from Episode 9: Brave Volunteers.

Only their eyes are shown while their voice actors are speaking with a normal voice in the background. With the anime version, it's very clear to say they spoke through thoughts and not in whispers, which canonically proves they spoke through telepathy in this scene.

With these scenes, we can say that Levi and Hange share incredible communication skills, the best in the whole series, and we've established by now that Hange understands Levi extremely well, but communication has to go both ways: does Levi understand Hange too? The telepathy scene shows that Levi understands Hange as he communicates with them only through eye contact, but another evidence from the manga supports better the idea that Levi also gets Hange when he senses that something is wrong with Hange's demeanour in chapter 52, Krista Lenz. He brings Hange to speak up about what's been bothering them, which is Pastor Nick's death, and then slowly brings back the determination in Hange to fight back knowing full well how much Pastor Nick's death has affected them, which is also one of the reasons why he accepts to torture Pastor Nick's executioner for Hange's sake as seen in his line from chapter 55, Pain: "… That’s probably everything they did to Nick.” This evidence alone shows how much Levi understands Hange too as Levi is a very perceptive character, therefore we can say Levi understands Hange as well as Hange understands him.

These are the manga panels about Levi and Hange's conversation in order from chapter 52.

This is the manga panel of the torture scene from chapter 55.

Now that we've established that Levi and Hange share incredible communication skills and they both understand each other, what does it actually mean for their relationship? To have good communication with someone means that this person must be close to you because you understand the world view of this person. Closeness and communication are interconnected, as communication enhances emotional closeness, which is "the bond that forms through deep feelings of connection, understanding, and vulnerability between partners" (Gardenswartz, 2024) (although this article mainly alludes to romantic bonds, emotional closeness is not inherent to romantic relationships and may very well happen in platonic relationships too). Besides, high levels of closeness do improve one's perception of the other's emotions as this study suggests: "Close friends detected the onset of their partners’ angry and sad expressions earlier than acquaintances. Additionally, close friends were more accurate than acquaintances in identifying angry and sad expressions at the onset, particularly in non-vignette conditions when these expressions were void of context" (Parmley & Zhang, 2014). These findings are consistent with my own arguments about how Hange and Levi correctly perceiving the other's viewpoint and emotions makes them closer to one another.

I also do want to touch up on something I don't see many people discuss, but I genuinely think the events that happened in Shiganshina, namely Erwin's and the rest of the Survey Corps recruits and veterans' deaths, made Levi and Hange grow even closer than what they were before due to shared trauma. For some reason, bonding over trauma isn't regarded highly among fandoms, however it doesn't make the bond less valid because it happened under a traumatic event. Some people like to disregard the fact Levi and Hange remained the last two veterans alive and lost their common friend as if such experiences only affected them individually and not together, but these experiences are important to their bond and it wouldn't be far-fetched to say they both only grew closer from them despite the griefs they might have felt from such harrowing losses. This concept of shared trauma bringing people closer together might look obvious, but science supports that concept as well, as seen by the findings of this particular study: "Sharing painful experiences with other people, compared with a no-pain control treatment, promoted trusting interpersonal relationships by increasing perceived bonding among strangers" (Bastian, Jetten, & Ferris, 2014). An example from the manga somewhat supporting this theory could be Levi and Hange's telepathic discussion which happens years after the tragic events of Shiganshina, showcasing how close they've become to succeed at communicating only with their eyes.

Therefore, understanding Levi in the way Hange does shows they're humanizing Levi and see him for the person he is rather than the tool or weapon many other characters see him for, himself included. Hange took the time to understand Levi's perspective, his values and motivations which shows they care a lot about him. I would even argue that the main theme of Levi and Hange's relationship is this constant care they're mutually giving to each other throughout the series, and why Hange had to be the one to find a gravely injured Levi after his encounter with Zeke in chapter 115, Support, and then nurse him back to a relatively stable state. I believe that scene is the culmination of their theme, and although we could speculate on what other characters would've done for Levi if they were in Hange's position or whether Hange would've saved another soldier the way they saved Levi (they would've since Hange is a caring person), the fact remains that Hange had to be the person to find Levi in that critical state to make sense narratively speaking, as mutual care is all about the theme of their relationship.

To show how Hange's care towards Levi is showcased throughout the manga, I will include an example occurring before chapter 115 to further prove how this theme has been explored throughout the manga. It didn't magically start after Hange found an injured Levi. There are many instances when Hange is seen caring for Levi, but I'll be using an example directly showing Hange's worry about Levi and his squad's wellbeing taken from chapter 57, Kenny the Ripper. This happens in the Uprising arc when the Military Police is out hunting the Survey Corps, and we see a visibly upset Hange asking Erwin about Levi's squad's whereabouts.

The reason I'm showing more Hange's care towards Levi than Levi's care towards Hange is because Levi cares about everyone, and Hange is obviously included in that everyone. Levi is shown caring more about people than people are really shown caring back for Levi in the same way that he cares about them, so this is why this theme of mutual care between each other is particularly more important to show on Hange's side than on Levi's side. However, to prove how the manga is portraying his care for Hange, I'll use again one example among many taken from chapter 79, Perfect Game, during the Shiganshina arc where we see Levi muse about Hange and the others' whereabouts after Bertolt's explosion. He's even considering meeting with Hange's squad to check up on them when Zeke starts throwing his rocks at the Survey Corps. Similarly to Hange's worry about his wellbeing, we're seeing here Levi's own worry about Hange and their squad's wellbeing clearly displayed in the manga.

This brings me to the misconception still circulating in certain parts of the AoT fandom that Levi hates Hange, and how we can see it has been thoroughly debunked by the closeness they share together. Even so, I'll still analyze it in detail for the remaining sceptical people who stumbled on this post.

First, let's start with the fundamental question: does Levi hate Hange? The arguments I've seen for this claim are that Levi is rude towards Hange as he calls them by harsh nicknames, which can be debated as to how "mean" they actually are (his most used nickname for Hange is "four-eyes", so I'll let you be the judge of how "insulting" this nickname is) and that such a "clean freak" like him (in Hange's words from chapter 9.5, Side Story: Captain Levi) could never tolerate someone like Hange who isn't too keen on bath time. These arguments in my opinion are rather shallow as to why Levi could even hate someone because they "don't bathe as often as he would like", and it's a simplistic view of Levi's character. Levi would never hate someone for not sharing a similar lifestyle as him, especially him, the most non-judgemental character of the series. The only person we can clearly state he hates is Zeke, and that's due to how opposite Zeke is in theming to Levi. Zeke is Levi's narrative foil in where Levi values life and fights as hard as he can to not see people die anymore, Zeke has no remorse using people for his schemes and killing them in the process, seeing their deaths as justified for a greater cause. I would even argue that had Zeke shown some kind of remorse or grief to what he has done, anything that would have redeemed Zeke a bit in Levi's eyes, Levi wouldn't hate him as much as he currently does. This is why Levi is more accepting of the warriors like Reiner or Annie because they do feel grief and remorse for what they've done to the people of Paradis unlike Zeke. But we cannot compare Zeke to Hange, except maybe their intellect and the fact they both wear glasses, but the similarities end there. Hange is much closer to Levi in ideals than they are to Zeke. Simply that Hange is the one to have brought the Alliance together to stop Eren's genocide pretty much shows why Levi even accepted to be part of the Alliance as well, which puts Hange at a complete opposite pole from Zeke.

So then, it would make no sense for Levi to now become judgemental with Hange on the basis of such a trivial disagreement on their bathing routines. Besides, this bathing argument is nowhere to be found in the manga. It comes from side material that is sometimes highly exaggerated for jokes (like in Junior High for example). Therefore, I don't think these types of arguments should be taken seriously, and especially not to prove such an important claim that can unfortunately affect the way people in this fandom see Levi and Hange's bond.

Going back to the rather "rude" name-calling of Levi, this doesn't show Levi hates Hange or anyone for that matter, as Hange isn't the only one on the other side of his rude remarks. The majority of the AoT cast has been subjected to some of his name-callings, but that doesn't mean by any means that he is hateful towards these characters. It's his blunt way to communicate with others, which probably comes from his harsh upbringing, and this is something Hange understands about Levi as they have never been offended by his rude remarks and have instead played along with him, creating a certain kind of bantering between the two as we can see in this example from chapter 26, The Easy Path:

We see how Hange has no problems humouring Levi with their answer even if Levi's comment could be seen as unprofessional and borderline disrespectful by our rather polite society. So then again, on what grounds could Levi even hate Hange, the person who understands him the most in the story? The claim then falls flat, as it would be illogical to say Levi hates the person who understands his world view and can communicate with him the best.

Now, on to another misconception closely linked to the first one, namely that Levi cares more about other characters than Hange, or that his bond with Hange is not as special or as important as his bonds with other characters in the story, or even that Hange isn't crucial to Levi's story as they could've been erased from his story and it wouldn't have changed anything in Levi's story (and if some people believe these comments are too exaggerated, these are real comments I've received under a discussion thread, so no, these ideas unfortunately lurk in this fandom). So, we've already established how close Levi and Hange are due to their communication skills and shared trauma with different examples taken from the manga, and how the theme of their bond is mutual care. Why would their closeness and theme be regarded by the fandom as less important than any other themes from AoT, and more importantly, why would Levi in particular care less about his bond with Hange when Hange is the closest to him?

I've already expressed how Levi views all of his relationships equally in terms of emotional impact, and even more so, his care for others is such that he'll care about strangers as much as he cares about his own friends or family. I do think this is a difficult concept to grasp for some people in this fandom as we as human beings all prioritize our relationships with our family and friends rather than the ones we might have with acquaintances or strangers, and this is a totally normal behaviour to have. However, such behaviour doesn't apply to Levi as he is quite literally considered the ideal person, the archetype we should strive to reach as readers or anime viewers learning about his story. And so, to claim that Levi might have "favourites" in his life is completely inconsistent with Levi's own personal theme as a character, which is the value of life. What messages would a character representing such an important concept, even more so nowadays in our troubled times when clearly, the rights of certain people are seen as more valuable than the rights of others, send if he cared more about certain characters than others? It would make no sense thematically speaking, and even worse, it would mean that indeed, some characters' lives are actually more valuable than others, which would only shatter his theme. When I say that no character's life is more valuable to Levi, it's never in relation to the ranking of said character, because by that idea, then of course Erwin as commander is more valuable than anyone from the Survey Corps when Erwin was commander, but more in relation to the intrinsic aspect of life and how that character's life affects Levi, and on that level, the emotional importance level, everyone is equally important to Levi, no exceptions. This is why stating otherwise about Levi and his bond with Hange does a huge disservice to Levi's own character as it destroys the fundamentals of his theme in canon.

If someone isn't interested in such theme and prefers a fanon version of Levi's character, that's totally valid too and I'm not here discussing how people should see Levi fanonically as we all have different headcanons and ideas about him that are all worth exploring in fanon territory, but I do think it's important to make the difference between what themes Levi actually represents in AoT and ideas about him that are fanon, which is something some parts of this fandom struggle to make sometimes. It's okay if some people aren't interested by Levi's incredible empathy and selflessness and would rather see him care the most about their favourite character, but these people should keep in mind this isn't how Levi operates in canon, and therefore claims like Levi doesn't care as much about other characters that aren't their favourites, like Hange for instance that unfortunately receives a lot of these bad takes, should not really circulate among the fandom in the first place. These misconceptions lurk in the fandom because some people genuinely believe Levi canonically has favourites, and that's what I'm trying to debunk with this post that has now become an analysis about Levi's character too lolol. But basically, by saying he doesn't care as much about Hange as other characters paints an image of Levi that's inconsistent with the actions he's taking in canon, and it confuses the fandom as to whether these claims are actually correct or false.

Just to give an example of this doubt that's cast in the fandom about Levi, the main reasons I've seen for people to dislike Levi's character are rooted in this false narrative that Levi is obsessed with the promise to kill Zeke, and by some sort of extension to be obsessed with Erwin (as if the promise was just about Erwin, but I won't start on this topic for this post), which is why they don't like Levi. But what these people actually don't like is this fanon interpretation of Levi, which many other Levi fans and myself don't like either, and that's where the doubt is cast since many Levi haters really believe this is how Levi acts in canon, that he really just cares about Erwin or cares more about him than anyone else (and yes, these two misconceptions are part of the same coin, they're not different) because they've seen this take circulate in the fandom presented as a canon fact, so of course it can be difficult to spot the mistake. Therefore, it disrupts Levi's canon self by stating such misconceptions, going as far as making some people believe these misconceptions to be true. They're not seen how they should actually be seen, as some fanon interpretations that a portion of the AoT fandom has about Levi that you may like or not, this is a personal preference, but regardless of whether these fanon interpretations are liked or not, they're canonically incorrect.

To sum everything up, Levi and Hange are both incredible characters individually and together, and what makes them really strong is this closeness they share which results into mutual care and why such close scenes between each other like in chapter 115 or in chapter 126, Pride, where we see Hange physically take care of a wounded Levi in the forest, even exist in both the manga and in the anime. I also think it's interesting to see how the two "abnormals" of the story seem to be the ones to understand each other the most, which is definitely a very fitting theme for them. While I know it's impossible to stop established popular misconceptions from spreading in this fandom, I hope at least that this post shed a bit of light on Levi and Hange's bond and maybe more people will be discouraged to state Levi hates Hange or that Levi cares more about certain characters than others after stumbling on this post.

[writing-for-life]

When Desire Stops Being The Villain

I’m currently re-reading (for the felt 100th time, and I might not even be far off 🤣) “Brief Lives”, both for a meta I have in the making and also for the sequel to my fic.

And we are so often talking about how deliberate Dream (and by extension Neil Gaiman) is in the choice of his words. And as I said, I’ve read Brief Lives so many times, but this time, I’ve done it specifically with the conceptual sibling relationships in mind, and I’d just like to draw attention to this panel:

Dream very explicitly says, “I have no desire to do this, my sister.”

Very often (and probably also deliberately due to a) who he is and b) the strained sibling-relationship), he will choose words like “wish” instead. But here, he speaks of the absence of desire.

And you cannot tell me that’s not a deliberate choice of words. If we look at this conceptually, and think about how Desire wants to lead him into his downfall, we see a very notable change throughout the whole arc of Brief Lives:

They warned him at the beginning not to go with Delirium (“tell the little gleet to buzz off”)

They told Tiffany that they tried to talk sense into him, but he wouldn’t listen (that whole thing about not having the sense to come in from the rain)

After Dream killed Orpheus, Despair tells Desire it’s not their doing (and there’s also significance here that they meet in Despair’s realm, not the Threshold). And they admit they should feel elated he spilled family blood, but that they don’t. That they thought it’s what they wanted, but they didn’t. That they’re scared.

And then they proceed to float in an eyeball to basically mourn (and what and whom they think about is set up to be a bit ambiguous, but it truly isn’t).

But back to the panel:

Desire is not there. They are not part of the plan to spill family blood anymore, like they were with Rose (which also isn’t straightforward; I wrote about this before in a roundabout way).

They are not part of Dream’s final descent. The final nails in the coffin all come from Dream himself (and are mirrored, as we all know, in his relationships to Delirium, Destiny and Destruction at this point. Despair and Death are obviously in there to, but more after the fact, so to speak). Well, to be frank, they always did.

But the one either being notably absent or actively trying to prevent Dream giving in to Delirium (see what I did there?), seeking Destruction or talking to Orpheus is the supposedly least likely candidate. The one we so often think would want Dream to do all these things so it leads to his demise.

I’m not saying that the others don’t have their moments. Both Destiny and Destruction do in a roundabout way, but conceptually, they just aren’t particularly helpful for someone in Dream’s state of mind. And of course Del with her moment of clarity when she gets him up from falling to his knees in Destiny’s garden. But there is more metaphor than you can shake a stick at in that one, too, and conceptually, the message is not straightforward. Because it gives us a lot to think about if Delirium, clear or not, gets you back on your feet after you buckle under the weight of what you are supposedly… destined to do, but that just as an aside.

Desire’s and Dream’s relationship is so complex (as are all the sibling relationships), and I’d just like to encourage everyone to have the occasional stab at reading all these bits through a slightly different lens, and understanding that their relationship is not just straightforward hate.

It’s incredibly tragic, and I feel inclined to say for both.

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

in the sombre season

Old Deuteronomy knows what must be done - knows there is a lesson to be learned - but he is old now. Old and tired. But Jemima is not. Posting my piece from the @namingofcatszine, in which I participated in as a guest writer. Thank you to everyone on that project for your hard work and dedication to getting everything off the ground and making this a wonderful experience.

Cats, skittish creatures as they were, were not easy to regroup when splintered. Easy to startle and easy to offend were not the most practical traits of cat kind, Deuteronomy had to admit, but he knew as surely as sun turned to moon, they would return. Ruffled and put out, surely, dignity barely balancing on its knife’s edge, but eventually they would come back, heads high and with more put-upon nonchalance dripping from their jaws than they knew what to do with.

All it took was a bit of patience, and if Deuteronomy had developed an abundance of anything in his centuries of astral existence, it was patience.

The silence in the clearing is loud; it crawls beneath the Jellicle Leader’s skin and rings mockingly in his ears as they pulse with the sound of his own blood. As a younger cat, he had hated the quiet - it was a lonely, sobering thing that opened too much of an opportunity to consider things he could not even begin to understand. He much preferred the hustle and bustle of everyday life, and all the noises that came with it that managed to drown everything away. Anything, he had reasoned, for any semblance of distraction.

As he had aged, he grew to appreciate the quiet for what it was, and often sought out its incense tinged comfort to recentre the constant mental bombardment that had become his general state of mind; however, as it stretches on, he finds much of his previous distaste returning to him. A soft voice restarts its murmuring in the back of his mind, words too faint and shapeless to discern, but noise too prominent to ignore.

In an effort to drown it out and fill the yawning, painful spaces that had torn within him, Deuteronomy finds himself pondering mirrors as the abstract fractals of his thoughts begin to settle themselves into a more discernible whole than the shards they had been reduced to. Strange things, they were, showing realities that were completely opposite of what was with such confidence and clarity, they managed to convince most who peer into their polished surfaces of an entirely different truth. 

All that to say mirrors were not sentient displays of what were, but could very easily become reflections of what could be. There was an old queen’s tale regarding how pieces of glass could alter what a cat’s memories were, confusing what they believed to be true with what actually was, though the Jellicle Leader was near certain their magic did not quite work in that way. Nevertheless, Deuteronomy had always felt perturbed looking at his reflection too long, though he could never put his paw on why. 

It was a similar feeling, in a roundabout way, to what seeing Grizabella again had felt like after so many years with another’s face in the foggy crevices of his mind. The opposing images warred with one another, but were far harder to reconnect into something that made sense; he vaguely recalled a young thing with gaps in her smile and a host of human pearls tangled in her ears, singing up at the moon and being met with silence. She had been full of life and full of herself then, with ribboned curls cascading down her back in the most peculiar fashion. Deuteronomy remembered that cat quite well, as though he had seen her galavanting upon stonework fences only moments ago; as it was, he remembered every cat that left - he could not forget them if he tried. 

This cat was a shell; a hungry, empty thing that had been left starving too long, standing on rickety legs that barely held her upright. Her face is gaunt and pale and scraped clean from the inside; not plump and healthy as it had once been. She wears even more human oddities on her person - stars plastered to her skin and feathers matted and drooped from her shoulders - yet remains…incomplete, in some way. There are still gaps in her mouth, but they are no longer shot through with the innocence of kittenhood. To see her like that, in broken, half formed fractals warring with her being before, caused the Jellicle Leader great pain in both mind and spirit. But as it was, there was nothing he could do about it. 

That the Glamour Cat had returned to them at all that evening had the potential to be surprising, and perhaps it was to the others who had barely given her a second thought when she’d flounced out on her heel, but Deuteronomy knew it more as a conclusion to a feeling that had been distantly brewing within him since the last lunar cycle. Her persistence in the face of adversity was equally unsurprising; Grizabella had never shied from things that were perhaps not in her best interest. It was admirable, in its way.

What had been surprising, Deuteronomy thought, was how her cries had echoed in the night, exactly as they once had before, but how - this time around - the moon had finally cried back.

Deuteronomy had reached out in response, electricity needling its way down his arm, but he could not reach. He cannot fix anything - the cracks are too large; she had walked away and left him behind. 

"Old Deuteronomy?"

The new voice suddenly at his side - stopping all others in its tracks - is small and delicate, but it is an old voice. One heard centuries ago on the edge of a breeze, and only yesterday under the web of her whiskers, covered in milk. It carries innocence in its purest form, but weighed heavily with a weariness that should never touch anycat so young. Deuteronomy knows it before he even catches the sugarcane tendrils of her scent in the air - not the first cat to arrive, he notes distantly as shadows swim at the edges of his vision, but the first to return.

"Hello, Jemima,” he greets her with fondness and warmth. “Are you enjoying the Ball?"

The queenkitten is wide eyed, appearing suddenly as though the outlines of her being blurred between this life and the next. Her perchant for confliction tinged oddity reminded the Jellicle Leader much of himself at that same age, or so he had been told, existing in a world that was always on the cusp of elsewhere. Wherever it was, Deuteronomy still had not determined for certain. He likely never would.

Jemima, truly in her grandfather’s fashion, completely ignores his query in favour of her own curiosities. "I have a question."

"I may have an answer for you."

Jemima crawls carefully up the tire, but stops just shy of sitting on his level and instead settles with her chin perched firmly on his knee. Her expression is serious and severe, contemplating her words before they escape from her and disappear. 

"Why is everyone so upset?"

Deuteronomy tilts his better ear towards her, curiosity piqued. "Upset?" 

"About…" Jemima purses her muzzle, pointing up. "About her."

“Ah,” he affirms, patting her back. “A troublesome question indeed.”

“Yes,” Jemima agrees. She stares up at him from beneath her lashes, laying impatiently in wait while Deuteronomy considers. 

"Sometimes," Deuteronomy begins, attempting to wrangle the complexities of life into something tangible. Normally a simple task, being as it were that he - in some way or another - had lived longer than the majority of the cats under his care combined. But he was brought to a pause with this particular conundrum. It was a simple answer, in theory, but it was not an easy thing at all. "The way things are, are not the way things should be."

"Why?"

Deuteronomy cannot help the chuckle that escapes him. Why indeed. "A good question; why do you think?"

"I don't know," Jemima responds, too quickly, the tail edge of a kitten's whine serving as a sobering reminder of her age. Though she remained, at most times, remarkably composed for a cat so young, she was still carefully tiptoeing through her days like a newborn deer, trying to figure as much as she could in the little time she had. All kittens - regardless of circumstance - were the same flesh and blood beneath their fur. "That's why I asked you."

"Ruminate a moment."

Jemima obeys, furrowing her brow. "She’s…a bad cat?"

Deuteronomy shakes his head, strangling the thought in its tracks. "There isn't such a thing,"

"There isn't?"

Deuteronomy thinks for a moment, reflecting upon the weight his words would carry. He considers what he has seen and what he has not; what he knew and what he never truly would. They are at a stalemate. "Not in these cases."

“Then why?” the queenkit asks again, drawing on her well of patience as though she were the put upon adult rather than the other way around. 

Deuteronomy ponders the question further. “Oftentimes, in life, cats pick the wrong path to walk along, even if it seems like the right one at first, and make mistakes along the way. Some mistakes…are larger than others. Some mistakes are very hard to forgive.” Deuteronomy sighs. “Some cannot be forgiven at all.”

“Even if they say sorry?”

“Even if they say sorry, yes.”

"I don't like that," Jemima mutters, tugging absently at her collar. "It makes my insides feel bad."

"You've a better heart than most, then,” Deuteronomy soothes, stroking her head to ease the agitation away. He feels it tingle up his spine; settle unpleasantly at the base of his skull - it prompts a new coil of thought. 

“When cats believe or feel certain things about one another - even if they know nothing at all - they will dig holes,” he continues after a moment. “The bigger the feelings, the bigger the holes. Sometimes, they get so big and so deep, by the time they realize what they’ve done, they cannot crawl back out again. Sometimes, they even forget why they dug them in the first place.”

Deuteronomy drops his chin to catch Jemima’s attention. "Do you understand?"

Jemima wrinkles her nose and shakes her head, but there was a sheen in the cloudy blue of her eyes that suggested otherwise. She blinks one at a time; switching from one mind to another. Deuteronomy offers the same in turn; they reach the same, unsatisfying conclusion. 

“It is wise,” he says softly instead, half to the wind. “To avoid digging holes at all in the first place.”

They watch together as the others slowly begin to reconvene in the clearing, just as Deuteronomy knew they would. Jemima's ears perk up when two identical shadows slink into the clearing, followed very closely by the pale reflection of the lily white moon, fur strung through with diamonds. He feels the joy pulse through her body at the sight of them; how her little mind in its tangled knots reaches for their own as though one and the same. They are the catalyst centres of all things this evening, it slowly dawns on the Jellicle Leader, yet carriers of none; just as the carrier of all things had spilled her bearings to the ground in the dark, but had left empty handed. They are the same, even as they are wholly different. There is nothing - Deuteronomy thinks, tinged with despair - to fuse them all together. 

But there could be, the voice murmurs through his ear. You just need to show them.

Deuteronomy is very old - as such, his mind turns its circles far slower than it once had many moons ago. Still, the idea comes to him in a weak flash. Just a spark, but enough to kindle something tangible to flame. That was it. The pieces were all there, but they had no synergy - no reason for connection. The mirror was in shards, but the reflections remained, splintered but fixable with the right dedication. 

"Come, Jemima.” Deuteronomy motions for her and she turns back to him, whiskers perking with interest. “I have something for you. It'll help."

The tendrils are gentle and fragile things; the older Deuteronomy gets, the weaker they are. Someday, perhaps even someday soon (though he is hesitant to admit it), he will no longer be able to control the magical abilities he was blessed with. Perhaps they will leave him as everything else had, but in the meantime, they were just the things he needed. 

"What is it?" she whispers, touching the soft of her temple with curious claws. Deuteronomy manages a smile, hoping it is enough to encourage what must be done. He hopes it does not hurt her; understands that, as most acts of cosmic disturbance and forgiveness, it likely would. And he hopes, above all, as he notes the looming figure of the disgraced in his peripheral, that a small amount of discomfort is worth the far greater pain she will help him heal.

That's all that remains, then: hope.

"You'll see,” Deuteronomy whispers right back, feeling altogether older than he ever has been, and younger than he ever remembers being. “Now, off with you - it's time to begin anew."

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Courting ritual with Both SavannahClaw and Persphorm ( is that how you spell?? ) + Carter with Crewle daughter

As Epel, Jack , Carter and Vil live in the same country but different region

Same with Rook, Leona and Ruggie in same country

Be interesting to see how they court with someone from the rebellion area of the Rose Kingdom

Pomefiore and Savvanaclaw is a bit much

🖤🖤🖤

Pomefiore courting Crewel Daughter | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

There is a rebellious regality in your culture where trends are rampant and relationships can be defined by them. While their not as strict as countries with a tribal past there are some things that just signify romance and behavior in your culture. And surely the dorm of Pomefiore is more than eager to learn or already put in practice their own customs and techniques:

Vil Schoenheit

He’s well aware of your cultural differences

You are childhood friends after all 

Whether you explain it to him or he’s researched the trend he’s well aware of the way people claim one another in the punk-community

But don’t think he’s going to be so cowardice to use such a roundabout way to start a relationship with you

He doesn’t need to compromise either of your usual styles to silently claim you

“This choker has a romantic vibe, does it not? While I think you’d look glorious in it, you might give people the wrong idea.”

“...Trends were made to be broken were they not? Though your persona…perhaps it’d compromise it.”

“I don’t have a problem explaining the matching chokers. After all fashion is everchanging and shouldn’t be limited by mere trends. I create them.”

Of course you both seem to have quite the indifference when it comes to atypical style 

So the earrings from the shaftlands that represent budding love

Are nothing but a fashion statement

Yes, just a fashion statement

Rook Hunt

Similarly has known you for quite awhile 

Where he has an advantage over Vil is in tradition

Courting traditions in Sun Set Savvanna aren’t always explicitly stated or researched

Some are common like the old ways of presenting kills to potential partners

Or Performing physical prowess

But since that’s not encouraged legal

He’s opting for the tamer traditions

“Rook is this bangle made of the magic plant made with golden wheat?”

“Oui oui mon cherie!”

“I greatly appreciate it. It almost matches well enough to your own.”

“Doesn’t it?”

You might be aware, you might not be 

That’s part of the thrill 

 

Epel Felmier

Living out in the boons is a vast contrast to your own style

While his traditions are purposeful and homely

Yours are ever changing and specific

He doesn’t have the attention to research it 

But the best he can do is insist you wear the mishappen mittens he tried to make

“T-they’re to keep your hands warm! K-keep them with you, please!”

“Epel. It is the height of Summer. I will not.”

“But how can I hold you to an engagement then!?”

“Offer something more appropriate.”

“D-don’t think this means I’m giving up! A man never does!”

“I never expected you to.”

He’s a little slow on the uptake

But he’s just as willing to keep trying 

Just as he his with brawling with reaching admirers

[sinkingquail]

an analysis of taliesin through the lens of astrology

DISCLAIMER: i don't claim to know everything about taliesin (i haven't beaten the game with him yet, oops). or astrology. nor is astrology for everyone. please take everything with a heaping spoonful of salt, thank you /gen. tl;dr at the end.

when you first meet taliesin, he's a cornered animal. he's surrounded by people he killed, about to bleed to death (and is hallucinating lol). then, a stranger comes up and sees a thalmor agent next to a ton of corpses. and what does he do?

he very matter-of-factly states that he did, indeed kill all the people around him and laughs about it. he insults your outfit when you call him a "monster". he tells you that he "carved out the heart" of a man because he insulted his dagger. what the heck, bro??

(this is of course not the most normal of circumstances)

holy fuck, if that doesn't scream deflection i don't know what does. this is a guy that is doing everything in his power to not show weakness, especially in such a dire situation.

for this reason, i believe taliesin is a scorpio rising. scorpio is what we call a "fixed water sign" which is essentially ice, so think cold, calculating, takes a while to warm up. scorpio risings are known for giving off stand-offish, dark, yet magnetic vibes. they're also known for putting up tons of walls when they're feeling vulnerable.

as you travel alongside tally, he opens up. he's still his sarcastic, incredibly straight-forward self (if you're playing an argonian, he will ask you if you're related to... smaller lizards lol). but he'll also make comments on how beautiful the night sky is, he'll tell you about how he wants to visit raven rock and elsweyr after exploring skyrim, he'll likely leave if you weren't adventuring, this mer wants to GO PLACES after being stuck doing lord knows what with the thalmor for who knows how long. i'm not quite sure if this guy has ever had the chance to just be his own person for once. ANYWAYS

i think a sagittarius sun best describes taliesin. they're what we call a "mutable fire sign" which combines the passion of the fire element with the fluidity of the mutable modality (this is basically a fancy way of saying "going with the flow"). these natives are known as "truth-seekers" for their inexplicable desire to understand and do not give a fuck if challenging the status quo is frowned upon (ok, with the thalmor it's a bit harder to do that). they're really philosophical, adventurous, and absolutely detest being tied down.

okay, now we're gonna move to the moon sign which is arguably the side of taliesin we see last: his emotions. i'm going to start byanalyzing this quote from him:

"Ah, a fellow insomniac. Seems you and I might have more in common than anticipated. My nights will be less lonely now."

what a roundabout way of saying "i can't sleep and i'm alone with my thoughts, i would really appreciate companionship". he's blunt about other things (this man does NOT pull punches... especially when it comes to your clothes lol) but when it comes to opening up further about his loneliness? nope nope not happening lol. it's like he's hinting at his emotions instead of flat out saying them. this sort of detachment also comes up in the next quote:

"To think, I could be bleeding to death peacefully in a pristine forest"

except this time, it's less about being emotionally vulnerable and more about thinking about his own death, but like, he's prodding the idea with a six-foot-long pole. regardless, he leaves the "wow, i would have died without you" part unsaid. he's using humor to neatly skirt around the part where without the player's intervention and random luck, he would've died. (he also has a quote about haunting you if he dies, which is a lovely example of his dark humor)

to me, this is indicative of a capricorn moon.

these guys are compartmentalizers. they want to push all their emotions into little boxes and hide them in the attic but forget that everything will break down eventually from the sheer weight. they are PRACTICAL, and they don't really believe that there's room for emotions when it comes to getting shit done. and they do indeed get shit done. they also tend to have incredibly high expectations for themselves and kinda just assume the worst in others? this makes a pretty weird dynamic with his sagittarius sun, which absolutely does want to be optimistic and open-minded. there's (probably) a lot of conflict there on his world outlook.

deep breath

okay, so for taliesin we have sun in sagittarius, moon in capricorn, and scorpio rising. the moon in capricorn + scorpio rising both contribute a lot to his seemingly cold and detached exterior, especially in the beginning. it's hard for him to open up ("well this has been fun, making myself emotionally vulnerable") but at the same time, makes his emotions run deep. once he opens up it's a whole new story.

he also has a self-proclaimed "lust for life", which i believe is the influence of his sagittarius sun. i think that taliesin really does want to go out there, explore the world, ponder life's questions, and grow, which of course he couldn't do with the thalmor.

okay, last one i swear:

we're gonna talk about my favorite, which is the asteroid chiron. it symbolizes what we call the "wounded healer" in astrology, and gives insight on where your "life wounds" are and how to heal from them.

his… less than kind childhood thanks to a shitty father points to chiron in the fourth house, which is essentially indicating some sort of wound that is related to his home life (the fourth house concerns home, family, and security).

but how does this manifest in him?

aside from struggling to find a "true home" or place where he's accepted for who he is, i think taliesin also (especially as an older sibling) feels the need to take responsibility (aka: stop the ldb from doing stupid shit), probably struggles with feelings of inadequacy, and is fiercely protective of the dragonborn ("You want them? You'll have to get through me first!", he also says something along the lines of "don't go too far ahead, i don't want to lose you in the fog". he also latches onto them very quickly which i'd love to talk about, but alas)

as a result of this, i believe his chiron is also in capricorn. people with their capricorn in chiron feel a constant need to prove themselves - when you combine this with chiron in the 4th house, it basically says:

taliesin grew up in an authoritative household that placed incredibly high expectations on him. as a result of this pressure, he struggles with deep-rooted self-esteem issues (i have the feeling his aura of self-confidence is a way to convince himself of his positive traits, fake it til you make it ig) and perhaps, a need for control in his environment. the ldb is so so so important to him. they bring a sense of stability, purpose, companionship, and genuine acceptance of him, which are all things that he hasn't really experienced. brb, crying

i might just be pulling all of this out of my ass, so again, don't take this too seriously lol i barely know what i'm talking about

TL;DR taliesin's scorpio rising gives him a somewhat cooler exterior that hides his emotional vulnerabilities (cough chiron in capricorn) that is further swept aside by his capricorn moon. however, there's a deep passion for adventure and a quest for truth from his sagittarius sun, which helps balance out the more cynical sides of him, especially when you take into account all the trauma this mer has. this has to be the weirdest crossover of my interests i've seen. i know not everyone cares for astrology, but i find it to be a really interesting way to analyze characters and is an excellent tool for introspection. taliesin is doing a great job. he's really respectful about boundaries, i like to think he's gone to therapy at least a little. keep it up, tally <3

[draftingteacups]

I understand that Special Events are non-canon in The Eternal Blooming Flower. But say how would you let Glorious Masquerade play out in your What if?

I love the Glorious Masquerade event, but the way that the event would play out in my What-If goes like this:

The first thing that would happen in this universe is the fact that Soni would definitely look around the City of Flowers and go, "This feels very similar to old Kalosian architecture." Makes sense since the movie was based in Notre Dame, which takes place in France

Obviously, she does a little bit of research into the city before she goes there, mostly because she doesn't want to do a social faux pas in a place that really reminds her too much of Kalos. Either way, Soni looked at the city itself for half a second before she gets dressed in an ensemble that would definitely remind her of her more formal attire as the Grand Duchess of Kalos.

I like the idea of a mixture of dark blue and gold accents with black-purple being the main color of the outfit itself. I feel like Soni wouldn't get a mask (mostly because I can see her just taking it off and not putting it back one because she's not a huge fan of masks in general) and get something like a circlet instead (looks like Xerneas' horns with clear crystals on top of it).

Happiny gets taken along because Deuce can't bear to leave her alone for a few days, which means she gets her own little outfit! A small pink mask with little beads that look like Oval Stones and a small hat that allows her little ponytail to stick up. As much as I would love for Happiny to have a little scarf, it'll definitely drag behind her like a little cape.

I could have Sobble here as well as Morpeko, and they would be wearing something similar to what Azul and Ruggie wear respectively. Obviously, the first half of the day plays out similar to the event itself: invitation, gets shown around the city, and then meeting Rollo makes Soni just feel a little uncomfortable, especially when Rollo himself looked into the students themselves to the point of getting Azul's eye prescription because I'm sure that's looking into someone medical history and I'd be wondering why anyone would do that much and even lightly comments on Soni's lack of information in a roundabout way that set off alarm bells.

Rollo: "When making accommodations for all of you to enjoy yourselves to the fullest, I noticed that Miss Monet has made no additional requests beyond what was stated in the itinerary, despite being the sole magicless person of your group. Do you truly not have anything else to add that you may have forgotten to write down beforehand?"

And even when Soni says that she doesn't, Rollo says, "If anything comes to mind, I do not mind making time to discuss any details with you on anything you wish to say."

Soni finds it weird that he points out that she was magicless when most people outside of NRC didn't know that, but that itself could be chalked up to her shared student status with Grim as a two-in-one student. Also Grim might just say that Soni doesn't have magic from the get-go because "the Great Grim ain't a familiar!"

However, that last bit poked at her the most because it implied that Soni withheld information that she didn't want written down.

Which is exactly what she did, but for the reason of her privacy and safety because people looking into Soni would potentially use it against her. Not to mention, she listed any needed information (i.e. medical, emergency contact, etc.) and the like on the papers themselves, so it's not like she needed more than that for Rollo to see. To imply that she still had more to say when she didn't and that Rollo was subtly pushing for more information about Soni while disguising it as a gesture of goodwill makes Soni think of all the verbal maneuvering that she had to do as Grand Duchess with many businessmen doing the same.

When the dance in the city happens, I like to imagine that Soni is made to come along with the others, awkwardly following along to the steps with Grim just spinning around like he does in the rhythm game. Happiny is being danced with by Riddle and Deuce, bouncing around cheerfully in the process.

That's when Rollo appears with a specific look in his eye when he sees NRC using magic alongside the other magicians:

"When you first came here, magic was truly a baffling mysterious force as a magicless person, was it not?"

Soni looks at the guy, her tone neutral as it could be, "It was, but who am I to tell people on how to live their lives?"

"Does it not trouble you? With how dangerous it is?"

Soni shrugs, "I've dealt with worse."

Then comes the night where all the Crimson Flowers are basically everywhere. Students are falling over because their magic is being drained out of them.

Cue Rollo's big reveal, and suddenly Soni understands why he mentioned that. She very much dislikes the fact that everything looks like it is on fire.

When they all fall downwards, Soni releases Dior and Charlie, the former teleporting everyone within reaching distance to the ground and Charlie snatching as many people as possible.

If we want to do the non-Championship Team, Nimbus, being a large puffy cloud bird, basically released a whole lot of fluff from using Cotton Guard as a cushion. Honestly, the idea that everyone just falling from a huge height, only to flop onto a cloudy-like fluff without having to use any magic was very nice.

When the others have to deal with the Crimson Flowers and pull weeds, Happiny is very enthusiastic about it because Happiny picks wild flowers all the time, so this isn't very different from what she normally does.

Ruggie, yanking Crimson Flowers with dirt flying everywhere: "Put your backs into it!"

Epel veins popping out of his head: "I can pull these weeds faster than you can breathe!"

Happiny, literally pulls off an entire cluster of Crimson Flowers with her bare hands: "Hap Hap!" This is fun!

I imagine that Happiny's given chores in Heartslabyul, and one of them is weeding the garden. It certainly comes in handy now that there's a magic flower that's trying to take people's magic away.

Then comes the plan to storm the tower and ring the Bell of Salvation.

Obviously, everyone's got an entire plan, but Soni goes, "You're all forgetting that I've got no magic. Those flowers can't do anything to me. And from what I've observed, they don't effect Pokemon either."

And what they settled on was for Soni basically leading the charge with her Pokemon taking down as many of the Crimson Flowers as possible. Dior using Psychic to physically pull as many Crimson Flowers away as well as assisting any passerby in the process. Charlie obviously uses his Flamethrower to burn away the Crimson Flowers in larger areas and even provides aerial assistance with Epel when the Crimson Flowers try to capture them both.

And Happiny doing her best to weed as many of the flowers as possible. Obviously, she stays behind with Deuce when he gets hurt and basically starts ripping apart the flowers even more when they start trying to hurt him.

And while it would be more heroic for Soni and the others to try climb the tower like they did in the original game, they could just teleport up to the top with the help of Dior or fly up there with Nimbus and/or with Charlie.

And in the process of catching their breath from the few fights that they engaged with on the way to the top, they stumble into the private area where they find the diary of Rollo.

And of course, they still go up against Rollo in the process, covered in flames and all. Hearing Idia's speech is certainly one that Soni understands the core meaning, but it could've definitely been handled better.

Soni looks at Deuce when seeing Azul use Deuce's UM to punch Rollo: "You did what? When did you do that?"

Deuce: "Back in the main area..."

Soni: "I looked away for five minutes-"

Deuce gestures to his leg: "I wanted to hit him, and Azul offered!"

Soni: "And I would've done it for free. We are talking about this later when we aren't at risk of falling off a tower and being roasted alive."

Malleus dealing the final blow with his lightning magic left the thickest smell of ozone in the air with Soni's arm hairs standing up on end.

And skipping to the song that happens during the party, Soni has her time to dance with the others again, although she's not all that good with it. In the background, Happiny and the other Pokemon are equally enjoying their time together at the party.

Side Notes That I Couldn't Put In:

A comical Pokemon for Soni to bring along in this particular event is her Skiddo because one, it's a little goat and they would see such creatures around. Two, it can eat the Crimson Flowers as a free snack. I cannot confirm whether that the Crimson Flower is fit for Pokemon consumption.

Soni using Kalosian and basically finding little to no difference between French and Kalosian; funnily enough, I like to imagine that Soni manages to get better deals this way from people at stalls because she's getting souvenirs for the others (Ace would complain if he didn't get something; Soni bought him a mug that Milcery uses to sleep in).

And that's the general gist of the Glorious Masquerade event!

[oflights]

oh have I missed the chance for prompts??? I hope not. Ummmm let’s see. How about your choice of the lads going to one of the below places:

* sushi conveyor belt restaurant

* way overpriced boozy brunch

* garden seating at a pub, on a hot summer night

so, as we've already discussed, i low-key want to do ALL of these and as such have screenshotted this to return to some of them. but this one is, in a roundabout way, garden seating at a pub on a hot summer (june) night. in new york! finally!

it's also 2.3k word again (just fuck my life, honestly) and it's getting back together fic. i'm sorry. this is who i am. i hope you like it!!

It’s a beautiful night, the stickiness of the summer day having faded a bit with the sun, just gone down an hour or so ago. There are lovely, multicolored paper lanterns filled with magical light strung up above, crisscrossing the width of the garden area, scattering it in purposeful rainbow. The low, cheerful din of glasses clinking against the wooden tables and excited chatter washes over the space.

There is a nice breeze, one Draco has been told means he should be grateful this is late June in New York and not August, where breezes flee. It’s still hot, unexpectedly so; he is very aware of wearing long sleeves and concedes his agent was probably right about that. He just didn’t want—people here like to ask about his tattoo when back home they know better, or worse, really. He doesn’t want to talk about that.

He finishes his drink trying not to even think about it, drumming his fingers against his own wooden table and shaking his head when a waitress asks him if he wants a refill. Carlo, his agent, gives him an unimpressed look and says, “If we’re going to wait to start, you might as well have another drink to calm your nerves.”

“I’m not nervous,” Draco says automatically, and Carlo snorts.

“Sure. Look, if that’s the case, we might as well—”

“Just a few more minutes; they’ll be here,” Draco cuts in quickly, and now Carlo sighs.

“A few more minutes, all right. But if we wait any longer the people who want to be here will actually just leave, and then we’ll have booked all this for nothing.”

Draco nods distractedly, already looking away and glancing out over the other tables without trying to be too obvious about it or catch anyone’s eye. He still has to nod at people—people he can’t really believe exist, people excited to see him read to them, people who have read his book with their actual eyes and liked it and bought it and maybe told their friends to buy it. They have it with them, holding it in their hands. It’s startling every time he thinks about it. It still seems like a trick, like someone is going to jump out from somewhere and say “Got you!”

This is the first reading he’s doing in person, ever. He’d done a successful launch party in London, had done something of a press round, even—terrifying, the whole time, even as it all went well. He’d read from his book on the wireless, he’d chatted with a few people who walked up to him in Diagon Alley, bewilderingly, happily. He likes to talk about his book.

But now Draco’s half a world away from all that, because apparently his book is selling really well in the States, better even than back home, and the international affiliate of his publisher wanted him to do a book tour to support the second printing, which means conferences and events and more press and—

And a reading, to strangers, in a beautiful garden area behind a large, apparently historic pub in the magical area nestled between the West Village and Greenwich Village. The sounds and lights of the city around them are muffled, muted, like the world has narrowed down only to this.

It’s a long way to go, for him and for all of the people Draco had rather desperately invited—all of his friends, who had had to break their promises to come one by one as family and job issues waylaid them.

Even his extended friends, the kind he only sees at rare and rarer pub nights every few months or at weddings or funerals or—he’d given out invitations to them, too, had offered to arrange Portkeys and stays in New York even once the book tour takes him elsewhere.

A few had said they’d try to come, but as the people he’s closer to had cancelled—Pansy, histrionically heartbroken about it, Blaise playing it so cool it was clear he truly was upset, Greg and Millie and Daphne and Theo and all of them full of regrets and work and kids and things that Draco didn’t have to keep him from doing something mad like traveling around the world for a stupid little book—Draco had resigned himself to the fact that they wouldn’t come either. Why would Hermione Granger or Neville Longbottom go out of their way for someone they see once every few months now, ever since—when the people he sees at least twice a week on average couldn’t make it?

Draco had even invited—he was desperate—and he knew he wouldn’t come because they were over, of course, any obligation to come to things like this had ceased when all that had ended, so there was no way—but just in case—   

He'd told himself that was all okay because his parents had promised. They don’t understand any of it, of course—Father thinks it’s a silly hobby gone a bit too far, and perhaps it had started that way, a diversion from the drudgery of managing the Malfoy estate, but now it’s all this, it’s Draco’s life that he doesn’t get—but they had said they’d be here to support him. They have no jobs, he is their family, they can arrange international Portkeys in their sleep—there’s no reason for them not to come. He’s certain they’ll be here.

Draco cranes his neck, searching the tables for any telltale blond hair he’s missed, eyes flicking to the back entrance to the pub where he’s sure they’ll emerge at any moment. Maybe they missed their Portkey and had to reschedule. Maybe there was a delay at the terminal. Maybe they decided to sleep off the time difference at their hotel and didn’t set a wakeup Floo. Maybe—

“Draco,” Carlo says, very gentle, but not patient. “We’ve got to start. I’m sorry, but I don’t think they’re coming.”

Draco shakes his head, even as the truth of that settles in the pit of his stomach like a sinking stone. He swallows past a lump in his throat, wishing he did have a new drink so his hands could be damp with cool condensation instead of clammy, anxious sweat.

He is not nervous. “You can do this,” Carlo tells him. “Just keep an eye on me; I’m here.” Draco likes talking about his book. He likes being around people, chatting with them—it’s just reading, his own words, he practically knows them by heart, they’re etched into his skin far deeper than the Mark, scratched over his heart—

But he really, really wanted his parents to come. He truly thought they would.

“All right,” Draco says finally, still shaking his head but forcing himself to come to terms. He talks himself into it as he stands up, rationalizing—it was definitely the time difference. They’re napping; Mother will wake up horrified, and they’ll get late drinks and perhaps midnight room service and laugh about it later.

That’s how he gets himself to the edge of the garden under the brightest lights, standing at a Levitating podium that settles to the ground once he reaches it. It’s hotter here, under the lights; he wants to rip his sleeves off and use them to dab at his sweaty temples. He has to take deep breaths.

Draco looks out over the crowd, their eager faces, and tries to focus on Carlo—but his face is too soft, too close to pity. He tries to look at nothing instead, knows soon he’ll be reading anyway so it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t have to look at the fact that his parents aren’t here. But first he has to talk a little, introduce himself, thank people for coming, all of these people who don’t even know him, didn’t raise him, still showed up because they liked his work that much when his parents haven’t even read—

“Hello,” Draco makes himself say, a small huff of a laugh, as charming a grin as he can muster. For a moment, that’s all he can muster; his throat is tightening, his sleeves feel like they’re getting smaller. He doesn’t think it’s possible to be strangled at your wrists, but perhaps they’re cutting off the circulation there, constricting his blood flow enough to explain why breathing is so treacherous. “I—I’m so glad you’re all here. I’m so glad that I’m here.”

More words, successful. Words are his thing, Draco reminds himself. He can do this. “And I’m—I’m grateful, really. Impossibly so. It’s really—this month, in this place, and I’m barely starting to understand how much it means to everyone because all I’ve known, all I’ve put into this book, is what it means to me—what it means to be like us, or so I assume, in what feels like a very small world, and—” He breaks off, making slightly panicked eye contact with Carlo—who taps the rainbow pin on his lapel and gives him a thumbs up, encouraging, he can do this.

Draco manages to open his mouth again, but all that emerges is a puff of slightly distressed air. And that’s when movement from the back entrance distracts him thoroughly, gratefully, another place to fix his gaze—which widens, steals more breath.

Rushing through the doorway, knocking into a slotted wooden chair and swearing, is Harry. He’s got Draco’s book wedged under his armpit, he’s whispering apologies to people he bumps into; he drags a chair out from a table with a bunch of strangers, apologizing to them and then hurriedly turning to face Draco with a slightly sweaty, flustered face.

Harry grins when Draco catches his eye. His glasses reflect the rainbow lights a little, and he looks a mess in the loveliest, most familiar way. He’s practically vibrating in his seat, excited, maybe nervous, too, and he’s—here. He’d gotten the invitation Draco sent in desperation, the note he’d scrawled I’m sure you’re busy with work, and I know we don’t really see much of each other anymore, and it’s a long way to go, but if you want to, if you have any interest, it would mean a lot be nice of you and nice to see you—and he’d Portkeyed halfway across the world and he’s here, somehow, bewilderingly, happily.

And suddenly all of Draco’s words are right there, easy, ready to be plucked up and tossed out with every confidence at where they’ll land. It’s a familiar feeling, a specific kind of confidence he’d thought entirely out of reach once he and Harry broke up and descended into the awkward, not-quite friends they’ve been since. Harry is here, and he cares for him, at least enough to show up for him, and Draco can do this because Harry clearly believes he can. It must not have even been a question in his mind, for him to come all this way.

“I’m so grateful we’re all here together,” Draco says. He touches his own pin, looks around, keeps talking. “Being together like this in a small world—it makes it feel much bigger.”

He goes on; he reads. He chokes himself a little but only for good reasons, looking up and seeing people listening, their eyes shining, laughing at the best of moments. He looks into Harry’s eyes, grins back at him, softens it when he catches Harry swiping his fingers behind his glasses as subtly as possible.

After, Draco gets another drink and sits at various tables, signing books, chatting happily. He gravitates towards Harry, who has his own drink and seems to be waiting, but when they near each other Harry whispers, “No, you can keep—I’ll wait for you, Draco, it’s all right.”

“Thank you,” Draco whispers back, hoping Harry knows how much he means it.

And there’s every opportunity to tell him as the crowd thins and the pub staff comes out to start stacking chairs and taking down the lights. Carlo leaves after hugging Draco and telling him how brilliant he’d been, telling him to get excited about doing this again two nights from now in Boston. And then there’s Harry, here, waiting.

“I’m sorry I was late,” Harry says once Draco joins him in the only other unstacked chair. The lights are all gone now, the pub staff telling them they can hang out while they finish closing up inside, the only light streaming from that backdoor. “And that I didn’t, um, tell you I was coming. I was just so—I’d heard about it, of course, but I didn’t know if you’d want me here really, I thought maybe you were just—”

“I wanted you here,” Draco says, realizing he was desperate but not in just the way he’d imagined. “I—I am so happy you came.”

“Me too,” Harry says, and then he laughs a little. “Even though I can barely see you.” He taps his wand a few times and shoots brilliantly bright, multicolored sparks out of it; they rise up to form a glowing, rainbow swirl of light above them, like all the lanterns have cracked open and spilled above them.

It’s beautiful, and Harry looks beautiful beneath it, the colors splayed across his skin as he puts his wand down, reaches out, and takes Draco’s hands. “Better,” Harry says, and then: “I’m so fucking proud of you, Draco.”

Relief, rushing and sweets, hits Draco so fast that it’s all he can feel for a moment. Gone is the disappointment, nerves, dread—all of it falls away. He can do this, he thinks; he did it.

“Do you want to—I mean, you came all this way, and this place is closing but I’m sure there are others we could—maybe food? And we could—I’d love to just—” His words are gone again but now it’s because it feels like there’s too many, that there’s so much he wants to say to Harry and it’s all got to come out quickly because “—and I’m going to Boston very soon, I’m sorry, but maybe—”

“Never been to Boston,” Harry says, smiling so fondly. He squeezes Draco’s hands.

[the12thnightproject]

@echoes-in-the-forest asked

I hope I'm not too late in sending this letter to you both. But I have a problem and I desperately need your advice. There's this boorish man that keeps coming around my town. He makes me so mad and always calls me names, and no - they're not pet names either. I wish he would stay away, but I also can't stop thinking about him. Sometimes he does things that are a little cute and surprisingly nice? And deep down, I think he might actually be caring and considerate (although in a roundabout confusing way). I once saw him sampling different desserts in order to decide which one was the best to purchase for someone. Maybe his dad or older brother? And to top it off, I discovered that he's my bestie's bestie. So I don't think I'll really be able to get away from him, but I also don't know how to act around him either. What should I do? Hope all is well. It's been pretty stormy lately. Yours truly, Frustrated Female

Dear F.F.

Angel, I will have a talk with him.

[Lord Shingen, how do you know who to have a long talk with? Do you know the letter writer? - Yuki]

A… very long talk with him.

Perhaps I am revealing a state secret here, but some men are not skilled in verbal communication. Let me amend that… so people are less able to speak with others, be it because they are shy, or because they are not able to put their inner life into words, or… yes, in some cases, they are too rude to care how they come across.

I very much suspect that your boorish man is in the second category. But fear not. When you run across people like this, rather than listen to what they say, watch what they do. It’s clear that you have already been watching, because you’ve pointed out that this man’s actions are “cute” and “nice” and that you believe that deep down he is caring and considerate. Furthermore, he’s attracted the friendship of someone that you like and respect, and I imagine your friend would not be friends with them if they were not a worthwhile person.

[Wait a minute. “Bestie” “Boorish” …? This sounds rather familiar. - ModeratelyAwesomeNinja]

[Keep up, Sasuke - Yoshimoto]

[Apparently, more than one long talk is in my future - Tiger of Kai]

Since you appear to have given him a lot of thought, I suspect that you like this man more than you’re willing to admit. How to act around him? This man will need a lot of patience. First he might not understand what is going on inside of him, and when he does understand, he might not know what to do. Your verbal interactions could potentially get worse before they get better. Just keep in mind that actions very much speak louder than words. 

Your actions will speak to him louder than words too. If you behave in a kind and considerate manner to those around you, if you champion those who need help, if you are a generous friend… all of that will be valued by this man, far more than what you say to him. 

As for the storm? Well, a little bit of teasing and a friendly argument is generally rather harmless as long as you avoid being purposefully hurtful. And, Angel, the best part of fighting… is making up later, as emotion, even anger and teasing, can bring people closer together.

[Lord Shingen, I have a bad feeling about this. - Yuki]

Meanwhile, I’ll begin a lecture series for an audience of young men who very much need to hear it.

Best of Luck,

Tiger of Kai

This is not all that Art of Love has to offer. Check out @lorei-writes for the God GOOD of War’s answer to your question.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’m sure I did a post like this a while ago, I tried to look for it an couldn’t find it. Anyway, here’s what comes to mind if I write it now.

In terms of different ways to use the English language specifically, ways in which British English is different from Canadian English (which is not the same as American English, we in Canada talk like Americans in some ways and like Brits in other ways, ie. we use the metric system and put the U in colour and say Zed instead of Zee), here are some things the British are right about:

- I really like the expression: “To slag [someone or something] off” to mean to complain about them. I feel like it captures a really specific type of shit talk that no phrase in common usage here quite covers (the closest would probably be “shit talk”, but it’s not quite the same).

- Having “fancy” mean specifically “to like in a non-platonic way” is so useful, it’s weird that we don’t have a good equivalent here. There’s “in love with” – often more intense than what people mean. “Crush” – I actually rather like that word but it does make you sound eight years old. People often end up just using the word “like” and hoping their meaning will be clear, but this is an area in which it’s good to avoid misunderstandings, so nice to have a word that’s not as easily misinterpreted as “like”.

- Similarly, I rather like the phrase “to chat [someone] up” to mean “to flirt”.

- Football – obviously, “football” is a better name for that game than “soccer”.

- Posh – again, just a great word, captures somethings specific that no word in common usage here quite covers. “Rich” and “fancy” don’t hit quite the same meaning.

- Saying “zebra crossing” in stead of “crosswalk” – you guys are adorable.

- Saying “lollipop lady/lollipop man” instead of “crossing guard” – even more adorable. You’re right, you nice British people! It does look like one of those!

- “Dodgy” – just like “posh”, we have lots of words here that mean similar things, but I like the connotations of “dodgy” and wish I could use it without sounding like I’m pretending to be British.

- The expression “swings and roundabouts” – I like that one. I wish I could steal it.

- “Kit” to mean “clothes” – again, you guys are adorable.

Things the British are wrong about:

- In terms of societal amenities, “public” means “paid for by the state”, and “private” means “paid for by the user”. In Canada, schools follow that rule, because why the fuck wouldn’t schools follow that rule? Public schools are schools funded by the state, private schools are funding by the parents of students. In Britain, for absolutely no sensible reason whatsoever, “public school” and “private” school both mean “private school”. And if you want to talk about a school that’s actually publicly run, according to what “publicly run” means in every other instance, there are like eight different names for it, which I realize all mean different things from each other (state school, comprehensive, grammar school), that school system is complicated. It’s one of the few things I once had to sit down and actually study a bit just so I could get the references to it in British TV – most things I could pick up naturally by osmosis when I watched enough TV, but the school stuff took some reading because it makes no sense.

- The correct way to write a date is year-month-day. If you write a date that way and then put those dates in alphabetical order, they’ll naturally sort into chronological order (which also means that putting the date first is the correct way to write any file name that contains a date, so your files will automatically sort into chronological order – that’s not a British vs. Canadian thing, that’s just how I do it and it’s correct). Any other way will not make that happen, and therefore is not the right way to do it.

- I’m sorry, but I need you British people to accept that “rubber” is slang for “condom” in too many other places for it to be an acceptable slang for “eraser”. You have to stop using it that way. Though that cultural difference did add a few extra dimensions of humour to James Acaster’s “museum rubbers are terrible” bit.

- I don’t mind what you people call the last meal of the day, just pick one word and stick with it. Though it would be nice if you didn’t pick “tea”, since that means a different thing and it’s confusing.

- Why do you have a hundred different words for “breasts” and a hundred different words for “small bit of bread” and sometimes it’s the same word? Pick like four of each. Your four favourites. Go with those so that Canadians watching panel shows don’t have to keep hearing new ones, Googling them, and saying “Holy hell, you’ve got another word to mean that?”

- I genuinely cannot tell whether having sex in cars with people watching is such a common activity in Britain that it actually needed its own word, or whether the term “dogging” is some kind of mass national inside joke. But whatever the answer, it's probably not right.

[deathblossomed]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 & 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒

@thuganomxcs :

"Remember that little english favor I asked a few months ago? Well turns out I lied bout it bein' for work..it's actually because well you know I wanna open my own restaurant. Good as I am now I still feel there's so much I gotta learn. So I applied for a school in the states, with a little bit of legal reference from one of my I was accepted...so I start next year. So by this time next year I'll be gone for another 4 years..or two..they said if I'm a genius at my craft." And that's when his face grew red., anxiety, nervousness were eating at him from inside but he needed to steel himself. "So I was wondering if you'd come with me cause......

"oh who am I kiddin' Look I'm gonna miss ya okay and not just because you're my friend it's because I realized I'm friggin' in love with you!!"

Botan tips her head to the side, listening carefully to his news. Well, at this point she's come to expect there's always some ulterior motive. Not necessarily something bad, Yusuke just seems to prefer roundabout ways of getting what he wants. It's one of his more annoying habits. But this, this is great! She brightens immediately, grinning ear to ear and takes his hands in hers excitedly.

"Really?!? Yusuke, that's wonderful! I knew you could do it! We have to celebrate," she says, beaming proudly. But for some reason, he seems nervous rather than excited. If there was ever a time for him to be bragging, this would certainly be it.

He wants her to go with him. He's going to miss her. He loves her. Oh my...

Botan stands frozen for a minute, her mind swirling, her cheeks turning red. She stares at him, wide eyed, tears starting to gather. She's still holding his hands, squeezing tightly.

And with a burst of movement, she leans forward, her lips to his. It's a quick kiss, chaste and impulsive and as soon as she realizes what she's doing, she squeaks and ducks her head shyly against his shoulder, her arms loops around his neck.

"I-I'm sorry I-- You-- You can't just spring all of that on me! My heart's racing really fast. Stupid," she smiling, holding onto him, trying to gather herself. "I do too... love you... I love you, Yusuke. I-- I didn't think I did, at first. I thought it was just because we were friends. But then... I liked being with you, it made me so happy when you'd invite me to do something, even if you were just getting us in trouble I didn't mind because it meant I got to be with you a little longer. And then when I'd go home... I'd think about you. And when it would feel like all of my reiki was in a whirlpool. I knew that I wanted to be by your side, no matter what. But-- I was afraid if I said anything, you'd think I was weird. I was afraid you were just teasing me... But now... I'm really happy," she peaks up at him, tears streaking her cheeks, smiling. "I'm sorry, I'm talking too much again, right? I just-- I love you, Yusuke..."

[night-market-if]

Hello! I was wondering whether it'll be possible for the MC to have a personality switch in Book 2? I loved playing a kind, generous, and forgiving MC in the first book but what happened to them in the end was awful — to have been brought into the world as a person, someone who thinks and feels and loves and suffers only to die at the hands of someone you trusted/loved/considered a friend or a lover is horrifying, and citing the greater good only goes so far because it doesn't make any of this less premeditated and ruthless; it doesn't minimize the MC's suffering because this kind of suffering is not relative. Even if Milo didn't think of it as actually killing them — they are the Night Market and the Night Market will go on, it just won't be walking its own streets — the MC is still a fully realized being and both a part of the Market and /apart/ from it. They were used and then murdered and Milo's plan didn't even work as intended — the MC was rendered helpess in their "final" moments and was then defiled in front of the very people that cared about them. That's not just an act of betrayal against the MC, it's an act of betrayal against the Night Market itself. And it was an act of violence against the people who could do nothing but stand there and watch their friend/lover die and get brutalized. Plus, he conspired with another Baron! It's just. Incomprehensible levels of fucked up and I suspect that Milo's past and the philosophy of a greater good will not shield him from the fallout. Even if characters like Hazel and Malcom might understand why he did what he did, it doesn't change the fact that he did it — that he is capable of something so heinous.

Anyway! Milo is a very interesting and well-written character (and I do love him) but I hope he'll get his due (not necessarily at the hands of the MC).

So, I've been trying to figure out how to answer this because I really want to answer this. So I am going to preference this with nothing is set in stone.

That being said... yes...? So here's the thing. I am not going to write a route of an MC going ballistic or be cruel. Mainly because that is an entirely different story I would have to tell from the main. I mean, if we have an MC that doesn't care about the Night Markets state because they are wrapped up in their own pain and suffering, we wouldn't have a game.

BUT! MC will have more moments of having an opinion, sticking up for themselves, etc. And I think sometimes that can come off as being angry. And there are hurts that will need to be addressed and they are going to need to be addressed in a variety of ways. Those you will get to choose from.

As for the entire Milo MC thing at the end.... MC has more to do with that than is out on the table right now. So, while as the reader you are absolutely allowed to see that as you have described, some of that information you have is going to change at the start of Book 2 as the MC gets a little more of their memories and their motives back. Which, I still think there is room not to forgive Milo, but inner reflection on MC's actions are going to need to be examined as well. And I know that doesn't make a ton of sense but I'm trying not to give away plot.

Also, I think one thing that everyone is forgetting, Milo is your Gatekeeper. You will have to work with him to save the market. Or, get the market back on track, at least.

This is all a roundabout way of me saying, I'm not positive how things will shakeout for the MC yet in book 2. But, there are a lot of mitigating factors that were only lightly hinted at in the book that will kind of change things around for book 2 a bit.

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