#But doing it in a bit more of a roundabout way than stating it

[maeamian]

"(whose CEO is Mike Cavanagh just btw in case Ron Pearlman is listening)" ... milady i'm missing this repeated joke, tho i follow all tree law business with great interest ta ta

Here ya go!

[43501]

Opened my copy of Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases for the first time in a decade and man, I forgot this is a goldmine of info and Mello characterization. It lets us know what kind of person Mello is almost more than the source material. Every time he's on panel/screen he's always so intense, it's fascinating to see him write and kind of get this feeling of "oh, he is also a normal guy outside of those situations".

He says he had one extensive in-person meeting with L, which is backed up by this other post of mine where I point out that, in the anime at least, Mello references having spoken to L personally. If we take it as canon it means L and Mello met at some point between Kira emerging and L leaving England for Japan.

He expresses a strong sense he might die. I've seen people say that he's "narrating from beyond (heh) the grave" and it's nonsensical, but that's not what's happening here. He's just writing while anticipating his death and writing as if these notes may be discovered posthumously.

He thinks that, in the event he dies, Near is the one who will discover his writings. This is interesting to me because it suggests Mello either knows Near knows his whereabouts, or would figure it out and recover his belongings. I actually think this is outright supported by canon - we see Near eating Mello's chocolate in the manga's epilogue. I don't think he instructed his staff to go out and buy that same chocolate, I think that's straight up Mello's stash.

At some point he started identifying less with the "Mello" alias and calling himself Mihael.

He's so sentimental... ending the prologue simply with "Good memories and nightmares". Bro.

"Imagine you were going to kill someone. What do you think would be the most difficult part? .... The correct answer: killing someone." Damn, I love you Mello lol. Also fascinating when you remember that he achieved his status in the mafia by beheading someone. Yes, he would know how hard it is to kill a person.

Mello states that he and Near belong to the "fourth generation" of Wammy's House kids.

He expresses open sympathy for Beyond and his state, twice... based on his own narration and how he portrays B in the course of the story, he definitely relates to B's emotions.

"Perhaps these gods actually wanted a blood soaked world of betrayal and false accusation. Perhaps the entire episode exists as a lesson to teach us the difference between the Almighty and the shinigami." I can't entirely make sense of this, and I don't want to get ahead of myself, but is "Almighty" capitalized here to definitely refer to the divine? Like, the Christian God but in a bit of a sidestepped, roundabout way? Wish I could see the original Japanese text for this line. If anyone has essays/posts about it, please show me.

And on a meta-textual level, the ambiguity of our role/perspective as the reader of these notes is also interesting. We're probably just an omniscient, unmoored observer being told about this set of notes Mello wrote and his line to the effect of "if it happens to turn into [a book]" is tongue-in-cheek. I know there's a slight, hanging implication that Near did in fact publish his notes, but I think that's unlikely since they contain so much sensitive/classified information.

[triptychgardener]

What does becoming a furry in Homestuck mean? (In reference to your recent Nepeta post)

Okay so the thing is the way that Homestuck treats furries is honestly kind of equivalent to how it treats queerness. As in, Homestuck initially treats it like a joke or a thing to mostly sneer at. Homestuck was very much part of the wave of disaffected ironic assholes of the Newgrounds and Something Awful type, especially to start with, and that sort of relied on shitting on demographics that were seen as weird and permissible to find cringe and make fun of.

Jade comes onto the scene, and a lot of people sort of groan at her whole furry shtick. Jade is largely, however, just a pretty sincere character, and even though she feels some embarassment over the idea of BEING a furry (i.e. her distaste for the idea of actually wearing a fursuit) she nonetheless begins the admirable refrain of combining the finest qualities of humanity with the elegance and nobility of the animal kingdom.

Her earnest affection for all things anthropomorphic sets up more than just her excellent taste. And as much as she is a bit of a pattern-breaker, one pattern she doesn't break is that of having a Signature Animal.

The four beta kids have a bunch of different things associated with them: the four elements, four items, four musical instruments. But the animals are practically integral to who they are as people and characters.

John's attachment to the bunny is obvious, and helps to spur on one of the most emotional scenes in the comic. (For him. Him specifically.)

It's also something deeply precious to him, as it's a gift from every single one of his friends in a very roundabout fashion!

For Rose, Jaspers is half the reason she decided to play the game in the first place. She missed her dead cat so dearly she was willing to play a game that might end the world for it.

(Pictured above, Rose lying about her feelings, water is wet.)

Dave seems to at least feel some affection for crows, or at least shame when he kills them.

And his fusing to become Davesprite is what allows him to survive as a "copy" of the original Dave. Once again, Dave's disaffected irony giving way to the necessity of becoming a furry to save the world.

And for Jade, of course, Bec.

And it's notable that, by the end of the comic, at least THREE of our main beta kids have merged with their animals, and, in a way, become the best versions of themselves.

Jade obviously gets to achieve her dream of becoming a furry, and in doing so gaining power and agency that she was always denied due to her position in the story.

Davepeta, as I stated in a previous post, is the true Final Form of Dave, the pawn that made it to the end of the board, the only surviving character from Homestuck's "original" timeline, and is truly happy with themselves.

And Jasprose appears to have fully hurled herself through the walls Rose put up around herself to protect her image, and thus absolutely mortifies Rose. She just seems to be having a great time.

Homestuck evolved from a story that was deeply cynical and mean-spirited about furrydom, to a story where three of our four starting protagonists, in their truest most powerful forms, combine the qualities of man and beast to achieve self-actualization. And to bring this back around to queerness, these three characters also happen to be canonically queer. So there's that.

This isn't even to get into how this might relate to Troll Lusii and the concept of "growing up" to be more like one's parent on a planet raised by animals, but that's for another day.

[musicalmoritz]

It’s canon Mitsuba’s gay?

I’m gonna use this as an excuse to yap because Mitsuba’s queercoding is either weirdly downplayed by fans or used solely for BL shipping purposes so I want to talk about it through the lens of what it means for his character, role in the story, and relationship with Kou

Yes, Mitsuba is canonically gay

Things don’t have to be explicitly stated in order to be canon, subtext is a major part of media analysis. This is something a lot of fans miss which leads to a misunderstanding of the source material. I do have some credentials for this, I’ve taken two undergrad college literature classes in which the subject of queercoding did come up multiple times. Meaning analyzing queercoding has literally gone towards my degree so I feel like my opinion holds some weight (not as much as that of an actual English major but yk I assume I’ve had more education on it than the general TBHK fandom)

There are multiple ways to queercode a character, sometimes it can be as simple as feminizing a man or masculinizing a woman. Though that method might be a bit outdated nowadays with gender roles becoming less strict, it’s still worth keeping in mind when analyzing queer characters. Another way is through romantically colored scenes with characters of the same sex, or by having them hint at disinterest in the opposite sex. Mitsuba checks off all three of these boxes and then some

First off, Mitsuba is attracted to men. This is made extremely obvious through his relationship with Kou but I’m gonna explain it anyways because unfortunately I’ve seen a lot of fans say they’re just platonic

Mitsuba and Kou went on a date. When this is brought up, fans typically jump to the excuse of “but Kou said it wasn’t a date,” which is where my American Lit class is going to come in handy. One of the major things we learned is that authors have to understand that everything they write has some sort of real world connotation. If you write a scene with a doctor, you have to understand that your readers already have preconceived notions of what doctors represent. You can choose to either lean into that or subvert it, but you have to be aware that as soon as a doctor enters the scene, readers have already made assumptions about that character

The word “date” is clearly being used in a romantic context here. When Kou texts his friends and brother about it, they all assume he’s talking about a romantic date. While in the actual context of the scene, Mitsuba and Kou aren’t quite ready to use such a strong label yet, the romantic wording here is still very intentional. AidaIro would not have labeled this moment as a date if they didn’t want readers to view it in a romantic light, because they understand that their readers are going to associate dates with romance. Japanese censorship is really strict, it’s hard to publish stories with explicitly queer characters unless the series is labeled as a BL or GL. And so Japanese manga writers often have to find roundabout ways to express that characters are gay without outright stating it- such as suggesting that they’re going on a date with a character of the same sex

In the printed volume for Vol.20, there’s an editor’s note that mentions that when Kou and Mitsuba are making plans to hang out at the school festival, it holds a romantic implication for the Japanese audience. Cultural differences are important to keep in mind, to western fans this scene might not raise any eyebrows but for its primary audience, it is confirmation that Mitsuba and Kou are romantic. I also find it interesting that the editor felt this context was important enough to warrant clarification

And frankly, their relationship doesn’t make a lot of sense if it’s solely platonic. Male friendship is something TBHK writes very realistically, the male characters aren’t as touchy-feely with their friends as they are with their female love interests. Yokoo and Satou don’t directly ask Kou how he’s feeling when they notice he’s upset, instead they give him a task to distract him- similar to how men in real life cheer their friends up through quality time rather than talking through their emotions like women do (not every man ofc but a good majority of them). When Teru is down, Akane doesn’t hold him and reassure him the way he does with Aoi. There are no grand declarations of ultimate “friendship” the way you see in fan servicy series like Haikyuu. Instead, he used his and Teru’s rivalry to indirectly motivate him to get his head back in the game. When Hanako is sad, Kou cheers him up by making donuts for him and then giving them to Nene so she can pretend she’s the one who made them. This is a very healthy portrayal of male friendship, and Mitsuba and Kou are nothing like this

Mitsuba and Kou both cry and vent to each other multiple times (the Mitsuba Arc, the Picture Perfect Arc, the Nightlife Arc), and instead of comforting each other indirectly they do things like offering to die for each other. You would never see Akane offer to die to make Teru feel better, nor would you Aoi and Nene or Kou and Hanako. It stands out so much from other friendships in the series, even Kou’s friendships with other characters. That is a conscious writing decision, AidaIro make a point to show Mitsuba as an exception for Kou. It’s worth noting that in the same chapter where Yokoo and Satou cheer Kou up indirectly, Mitsuba attempts to directly have him talk about his feelings

They’re also incredibly possessive over one another, in a way friends usually aren’t. When Kou was in the Red House, he was shown his greatest desires, and Mitsuba appeared in one of these. Kou said he knew Mitsuba would appear, which is interesting because at that point he had already picked up on the house showing him what he wanted. But what does he want? He wants Mitsuba to rely on him entirely, to be completely useless without him. He wants Mitsuba to be “no good without him,” to need him so badly that he begs him to die so they can be together. I’m not exaggerating, these are lines pulled straight from the chapter (paraphrased but still). Later on in the Nightlife arc, Kou breaks down when he discovers Mitsuba has been relying on Tsukasa for life-saving help. As for Mitsuba, he wants to die by Kou’s hands. He says it wouldn’t be satisfying if anyone else killed him, and that he would be happy if Kou were to be the last person he spent time with before he died. He tries to trap Kou in a picture perfect world just like Hanako does with Nene, because he wants to live a normal life with him. It’s also shown in one of the extras that Mitsuba cries when Kou ignores him

They’re also drawn very romantically, again we don’t see Teru and Akane this intimate with one another unless they’re fighting. We especially don’t see Kou this intimate with anyone other than Mitsuba, and while Mitsuba is sometimes clingy with Tsukasa we certainly never see him posed romantically with a woman. This comes back to authorial intent and real world connotations, AidaIro know that male friends aren’t typically this close, and therefore casual affection like this will be interpreted in a romantic light. We see them hold hands/wrists multiple times too, Kou gives Mitsuba a piggyback ride in one scene, and in ASHK they had a classic “pinned against the wall” page

I’ll also mention the AUs, because those indicate a lot about the characters as well. In Hanako-Kun of the Opera, Kou poisoned Mitsuba so he could take him away from the opera house and protect him from Tsukasa. He basically kidnapped him. He also stayed with Mitsuba at the opera house for a seemingly long period of time despite hating opera. Aaaaand they’re childhood best friends in this au and Kou took care of Mitsuba while he was sick

Then there’s the Ghost Hotel, where Kou is a werewolf who takes bites out of mummy Mitsuba during full moons. Despite this, the two appear to be friends and Mitsuba helps Kou out around the kitchen. Cannibalism is consistently tied to romance throughout TBHK, most notably with Hakubo and Sumire but other romantic pairings have cannibalistic moments or official arts. During the zombie mokke chapter, Nene panicked when Akane tries to eat her because she assumed it would put her in a love triangle with Aoi. So yeah, cannibalism in TBHK is directly tied to romance and we see that with Mitsukou both in canon and in this au. Speaking of which, I’m not even gonna get into the symbolism of Kou holding a heart out to Mitsuba. Connect the dots for yourselves

Now that we’ve got Mitsukou out of the way, let’s talk about Mitsuba’s disinterest in women

Remember how I said one of the ways queercoding is done is by having a character hint at disinterest in the opposite sex? Yeah, very rarely are we going to see a queercoded male character outright say “I have no attraction to women.” Instead they say they just never saw the appeal in dating, or that they never had time to settle down. In more obvious cases, we have scenes like Reiner from AOT joking that Ymir isn’t all that into guys

I couldn’t find the second scene but there are TWO extras where the subject of Mitsuba’s disinterest in women comes up. C’mon guys I’m trying not to be mean here but you have to be blind, oblivious, or in denial to not pick up on that. Whyyyyy would they mention Mitsuba not having a crush on any girls twice if it weren’t to suggest something about his preference?? Coupled with his appearance (which I’ll get to later) and relationship with Kou, these scenes carry a lot of weight. Even if those other aspects weren’t included, scenes like this would still indicate he has no interest in women (which would make him gay or aroace, though due to his relationship with Kou the aroace thing is kind of ruled out)

Compare this to a scene where Mitsuba thinks he’s being asked out by a man. He doesn’t say “hmmm nope no guys, I’m cuter than all of them~” he specifically says “I’m not interested in guys with lame earrings.” The way this is worded implies that Mitsuba is discussing a type, though it’s v much a comedic scene and we know from everything else that he absolutely does like guys with lame earrings, it’s still worded in a way that makes him appear queer. If he were straight, they would have had him say he’s not interested in guys at all (like Dazai from Bungou Stray Dogs, John Watson from BBC Sherlock, Finn Hudson from Glee, idk there are a lot of male characters that are explicit straight sorry for the crazy random list). Also note how he teases Kou about it, he knows that Kou is fond of him and doesn’t hesitate to use that against him (like when he was comforting him during the Nightlife arc)

They don’t go overboard with Mitsuba’s disinterest in women because, well, that’s not really necessary. Two scenes is already a lot, and he doesn’t have any romantic relationships with women in canon (even as a crush/a joke scene). It’s rare for TBHK characters to have absolutely no scenes expressing interest in the opposite sex, since the series is partially a romance. But Mitsuba consistently only ever shows interest in one man, and when girls are brought up he’s quick to brush it off. His mom did think Nene was his girlfriend when they met, but this was depicted as a very awkward and comedic scene. Because the premise of Mitsuba having a girlfriend is objectively hilarious

(Due to Sousuke’s young age it’s reasonable to assume he wasn’t out to his mom yet, he’s around the age where most kids are closeted. It’s even possible that Sousuke hadn’t come to terms with his sexuality yet, though it’s still a prevalent part of both his character and No.3’s)

Now let’s move onto appearances. I want to give a quick disclaimer, not all gay men are feminine and not all feminine men are gay. Androgyny is also very common in anime and doesn’t automatically mean a character is gay, but there are cases when it’s used for queercoding. Mitsuba is one of these cases

Mitsuba is a very feminine character, this is addressed as soon as he shows up in the manga. He was bullied for his appearance (and personality), but unlike his personality he never tried to change his feminine appearance. He kept his hair long, continues to wear scarves and cardigans and earrings. No.3 wears these things as well, and I would argue has a more feminine personality since he seems to be more open about his emotions and idk. I struggle to categorize feminine and masculine traits because imo that’s subjective but there are things society deems feminine vs. masculine. The problem is that I really dislike the whole “men are strong and women are emotional” thing but ehhhh I guess I have to talk about it for this. Hmph. But yeah although Mitsuba isn’t exactly the biggest sweetheart ever, he does act somewhat feminine compared to the other male characters (as I’ve said he’s p much the only man in the series who attempts to work through emotional conflicts directly)

Once again we circle back to intent, AidaIro know that a male character dressed in pink with pink eyes and long pink hair is going to raise some eyebrows. Even by androgynous anime standards, it’s a bit much. And good for him, although not all gay men are feminine, some are and that’s also fine. I can’t speak on how well he represents feminine gay men because I’m a lesbian but he does dress similar to some of the feminine gay men I’ve known irl (or slightly less feminine in some cases…I knew this one dude in high school who used to wear corsets to class and he was so badass I hope he’s doing well)

I could get into how Kou is a bit feminized too with the whole housework thing but this ain’t abt him. I will say that Kou is still a very masculine character but despite this his character is feminized in some ways compared to the other men. I’m not really here to discuss whether that’s good or bad, I’m just stating the evidence as it is, you can make your own conclusions as to how you feel about it

So how does being queer impact Mitsuba’s character arc?

When I get around to writing my analyses of all the TBHK characters I WILL be talking more in depth about the queer allegories with Mitsuba’s character but for now I’ll give ya’ll a quick summary. Supernatural characters have been used for years to represent queerness, the same could be said for villains and any character trope that represents a feeling of “otherness.” Sometimes it’s more broad like X-Men, where the superpowered characters are used to represent all types of minorities (though I believe X-Men is more closely tied to race, there are rampant queer themes as well). Then there’s books like Interview with the Vampire that get more specific with it, where Louis denying his “true nature” as a vampire is used as an allegory for him denying his queerness. Well I’m here to tell you that Mitsuba and Louis de Pointe du Lac are in the same boat

Mitsuba differs from the other supernaturals because he desperately tries to hold on to feelings of normalcy. He wants to be a normal human and live a normal human life. He doesn’t want to be othered, to be outcasted from society for something he can’t control. We don’t see Hanako, Tsuchigomori, Mei, or any of the other supernatural characters struggle with this. You could argue that Akane does but his situation is more related to learning to empathize with others than any internal battles within himself. Hanako may have moments of wishing him and Nene could have something more, but that’s more about romance than his identity.

This desire to be “normal” is unique to Mitsuba’s character, and it’s a very queer desire. Being an angsty teenager who hasn’t fully accepted themself yet and hasn’t realized that being queer is not only normal, but a beautiful experience. It’s also so interesting to me that as he’s trying so hard to be normal, it creates a push and pull between him and Kou. He wants to be normal for Kou but he also feels that he’s hurting Kou just by existing, that this could only end bad for him. Oh the inherent guilt of having your first gay crush and feeling like you're corrupting them hist for pining from afar

So, can you ship him with women? Technically you can do anything, shipping isn’t illegal and we all have free will. Should you ship him with women is more subjective, I personally think no!! Queerness is not just a sexuality, it’s an identity that deeply impacts who you are as a person. It shapes your experiences and your view of yourself, and in an allegorical way it has certainly done this for Mitsuba. Yes, bi people are queer as well and this is still true for them, but bisexuality is not Mitsuba’s experience. Mono-attraction exists and that specification is very important to gay men and lesbians. For some people sexuality is fluid and that’s beautiful, but it doesn’t work that way for everyone

Some queer fans don’t care if gay characters are shipped with members of the opposite sex, and they’re entitled to their own opinions. It makes me immensely uncomfortable tho, so please block me if you ship Mitsuba with women. That goes for any ships between canon gay/lesbian characters and the opposite sex. I respect people’s right to have opinions but that doesn’t mean I have to like the opinions themselves, and I don’t have to engage with anything that makes me uneasy. That goes for all of you btw, never let people convince you that you have to put up with shit you hate on the internet lmao, this is not real life babes. Block and move on

TL;DR

Mitsuba is too gay to function

[nobylerdoubt]

Let's Analyze - Every Time Someone Says "Gay"

Warning: homophobia and use of slurs. F-slur will be censored.

One thing I've noticed in Stranger things is that they typically try to avoid saying things outright. I've talked a bit on this blog on their use of "Show Don't Tell." This applies to relationships most often - as our core relationships - the ones we expect to last - typically avoid exchanging I love yous, and tend to show, rather than tell, the audience how they feel about the other person.

This concept of showing rather than telling translates in a big way to our queer characters. Neither Robin nor Will openly calls themselves a lesbian or gay, and no one explicitly refers to them as gay either (outside of bullies and abusers). However on my most recent watch through I couldn't help but notice just how many times the show references homosexuality.

Season 1:

Season 1 we see the most uses of gay words, four total. Three of these reference Will, and one being a reference to Jonathan.

EPISODE 1:

Joyce: Lonnie used to say he was queer, called him a f*g

EPISODE 3:

Troy: I hate to break it to you toothless, but he's not in danger. He's dead. That's what my dad says. He said he was probably killed by some other queer.

EPISODE 4:

Troy: Besides, what's there to be sad about anyway? Will's in fairyland now, right? Flying around with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay!

EPISODE 6:

Steve: You know what, Byers? I'm actually kind of impressed. I always took you for a queer, but I guess you're just a little screw-up like your father.

Season 1 tends to use homophobia as a general way to show who the mean guys are here - not our scientists, or corrupt officials, but our human antagonists.

Season 2:

EPISODE 8:

Billy's Father: So that's why you've been staring at yourself in the mirror like some f*ggot instead of watching your sister?

Like in Season 1, Season 2 uses homophobia to paint Billy's dad as the evil behind Billy's evil.

EPISODE 9:

Steve: Nancy?

This one I questioned if I should include it - because it's not an explicit reference to gay words. Steve is concussed here and momentarily mistakes Mike for his sister - but it's worth noting that Nancy is also a term used to call someone gay. Especially since this is in reference to Mike, I think this is a very smart a subtle way to allude to Mike's sexuality early on.

Season 3:

Season 3 differs from the first two seasons uses of gay words - instead of having other, more background characters call our main characters slurs and using gay as an insult, we have main characters outright stating, or being told, that they're being gay - but in a roundabout way.

EPISODE 3:

Mike: It's not my fault that you don't like girls!

EPISODE 7:

Steve: But... Tammy Thompson's a girl?

Robin: Steve...

Season 4:

This same idea is carried into the next mention at the start of season 4, where they talk about the possibility that Vickie likes girls.

EPISODE 1:

Steve: Do you know who pauses Fast Times at 53 minutes 5 seconds? People who like boobies!

After that we kind of go back to our old ways - but with a bit of a twist. Instead of a bigoted background character just being, the mentions start to become more casual and matter-of-fact.

EPISODE 3:

Russian: I am no fairy

There's a bit of a lack of judgement in this clip - the Russian here isn't offended so much as he's denying what he sees as a transaction for sexual favors, or possibly flirting. It's fairly neutral. He's simply saying - hey, I'm not the guy you need to be asking for that.

EPISODE 4:

Erica: Going out? I see he's taken a step down from Max...Chances are he's with your cheater boyfriend.

Here Erica implies that Jason is "going out" with Lucas in a different way - and I don't think she means it literally here (unless there's more to what Erica found under Lucas's bed that was so 'gross'...). I think she just can tell she already doesn't like Jason, and this is something she can say to get under his skin and get him to back off. Again, this seems like a neutral statement - not really judgmental.

So we see that homosexuality is mentioned at least once or twice per season. I think this serves two purposes throughout the course of the show.

To show the audience that the show in general disapproves of homophobia.

To keep homosexuality on our minds.

At the end of the day, Strange Things is not a show about being gay - it's not Heartstopper or Young Royals. It's an anthem for the outcasts, and queer characters have always been a part of that group of outcasts that the Duffers wanted to represent. I think to avoid this idea that these gay subplots "came out of nowhere" these terms being used throughout the show are just one part of the way they've tried to plant this idea that hey, maybe some of these characters are gay.

[alexdswfan]

About Levi and Hange's communication skills

A concept I've always wanted to talk about that I haven't really seen many people discuss in the AoT fandom is the communication going on between Levi and Hange whose bond is greatly defined by this concept. They share in my opinion some of the best if not the best communication skills I've ever seen not only in AoT but also in any other form of media I've ever consumed. From the manga evidence I've gathered displaying these characteristics, we can deduce some interesting information about their relationship that I think is worth discussing. I think Levi and Hange are actually closer than what certain people might believe due to these incredible communication skills, and I'll show how communication and closeness affect one another.

A quick heads up, when I say Levi and Hange are close, it's not meant in a romantic way and it will be never be seen as such since neither Levi nor Hange have romantic canon ships in the story. Their closeness to each other will rather be regarded as platonic, almost feeling like a partnership between two friends, and after rereading the manga, I do think Isayama tried to write their bond as a very close partnership rather than some other kind of relationship. Additionally, the fact Levi and Hange are this close doesn't mean that Hange is more important to Levi than other characters with whom he shares a relationship just because he might be closer with them than with others. There's no hierarchy in Levi's heart in regard to his emotional connections with people, meaning that his friendship with Hange means as much to him as his friendships with other characters. Hange brings something in Levi's life other characters don't, but the other way around is also true. I'll only be focusing on the characteristics Hange brings to Levi in this post, but keep in mind that Levi's bonds with others all enrich him in different ways and they're all important to him, and stating otherwise in my opinion is to not understand the fundamentals of Levi's character.

But now back to Levi and Hange specifically, I've seen some people among fandom spaces claim instead that Levi hates Hange or that Levi doesn't care about Hange as much as he cares about other characters, and to that I'd like to counter-argument, explaining why these negative misconceptions can't be further from the truth and how they do a huge disservice to Levi's character in particular.

The first evidence to showcase Levi and Hange's communication skills in a way that's more significant than what we've seen so far happens in chapter 53, Smoke Signal, and is unfortunately a manga-only scene. For a bit of context, this chapter shows the experiments Eren is making in order to improve his hardening skills while the Survey Corps are into hiding, hunted by the Military Police. Then later, after the experimenting session is over, Eren asks about how the experiments went, and we see this interaction occur between Levi and Hange.

There are many details revealed in this scene about Levi's character and how Hange adapts to his personality. So, Levi has a very roundabout way with words when he explains something and no one really seems to understand him. However, Hange is the only person seen to kindly 'translate' what Levi just said so the others present with them in the room can understand better. And in the second panel, Levi acknowledges that Hange understood his words well as he thanks them for their clearer explanation.

This scene shows that Hange needs to have a high level of closeness with Levi in order to be the only person in the room to understand him. Communication is a hard skill to develop with others, therefore this interaction between them can't be explained simply by Hange's intelligence or by the fact that they're good at ‘getting people’. This then means Levi and Hange must communicate extremely well with one another if Hange can even pass as “Levi’s translator” for others. Hange needs to understand Levi's perspective on the world in order to explain his speech to others in a way they can understand as well, which is extremely hard to achieve. The most plausible explanation for this interaction is that Hange and Levi developed a level of communication unlike any other through the years they've known each other, allowing Hange to correctly interpret his words for others who aren't as familiar with his perspective as Hange is. It's possible that in order to reach that, Hange might've been helped by their own innate ability to understand people in general, just like Levi, but the fact remains that communication between them had to be honed and perfected for this scene to happen.

The second evidence that truly solidifies their communication skills happens later on in the manga and anime, and in the manga it happens in chapter 106, Brave Volunteers. For a bit of context, it's a scene that happens during the 4 years time-skip when the Survey Corps have captured a Marleyan ship and have met with Yelena and Onyankopon, the anti-Marleyan volunteers who want to work with Paradis to oppose Marley. Hange and Levi are in a meeting with them to discuss their motivations for going against Marley when this interaction occurs between Levi and Hange.

They are seen understanding each other simply through thoughts (as shown by thought bubbles), which is proof of how strong their communication skills are. They’re literally doing telepathy in a world where such superpower doesn’t exist. They understand each other so well that one glance from the other is all they need in order to communicate together. This level of communication they share is unmatched throughout the series, because in order to do telepathy with someone else, something almost unattainable in real life, the people involved need to have a perfect understanding of the other's mind, the other's inner thoughts, which is something that can be achieved only through getting to know enough that person, and even then it's no easy feat. While it is true that the conversation they've shared wasn't very complicated, it's still surreal that they managed to pull it off so effortlessly. This can only be explained by the numerous years they've spent constantly being at each other's side, and this scene is the literal manifestation of such closeness taking shape in their lives to the point they can understand one another simply through eye contact.

I've seen a few people question the legitimacy of this scene and claim that thought bubbles here mean that they whispered this conversation to each other, however the anime version of this scene is actually what backs up the telepathy theory and solidifies it even further. In season 4, character thoughts are shown through showing the eyes of the character without their lips moving while the voice actor speaks their thoughts in the background. These are two examples of Mikasa and Hange shown when they speak in their minds taken from Season 4 Part 1 Episode 10: A Sound Argument during their meeting with the Azumabito clan.

Back to the telepathy scene, this is how the anime decided to show it from Episode 9: Brave Volunteers.

Only their eyes are shown while their voice actors are speaking with a normal voice in the background. With the anime version, it's very clear to say they spoke through thoughts and not in whispers, which canonically proves they spoke through telepathy in this scene.

With these scenes, we can say that Levi and Hange share incredible communication skills, the best in the whole series, and we've established by now that Hange understands Levi extremely well, but communication has to go both ways: does Levi understand Hange too? The telepathy scene shows that Levi understands Hange as he communicates with them only through eye contact, but another evidence from the manga supports better the idea that Levi also gets Hange when he senses that something is wrong with Hange's demeanour in chapter 52, Krista Lenz. He brings Hange to speak up about what's been bothering them, which is Pastor Nick's death, and then slowly brings back the determination in Hange to fight back knowing full well how much Pastor Nick's death has affected them, which is also one of the reasons why he accepts to torture Pastor Nick's executioner for Hange's sake as seen in his line from chapter 55, Pain: "… That’s probably everything they did to Nick.” This evidence alone shows how much Levi understands Hange too as Levi is a very perceptive character, therefore we can say Levi understands Hange as well as Hange understands him.

These are the manga panels about Levi and Hange's conversation in order from chapter 52.

This is the manga panel of the torture scene from chapter 55.

Now that we've established that Levi and Hange share incredible communication skills and they both understand each other, what does it actually mean for their relationship? To have good communication with someone means that this person must be close to you because you understand the world view of this person. Closeness and communication are interconnected, as communication enhances emotional closeness, which is "the bond that forms through deep feelings of connection, understanding, and vulnerability between partners" (Gardenswartz, 2024) (although this article mainly alludes to romantic bonds, emotional closeness is not inherent to romantic relationships and may very well happen in platonic relationships too). Besides, high levels of closeness do improve one's perception of the other's emotions as this study suggests: "Close friends detected the onset of their partners’ angry and sad expressions earlier than acquaintances. Additionally, close friends were more accurate than acquaintances in identifying angry and sad expressions at the onset, particularly in non-vignette conditions when these expressions were void of context" (Parmley & Zhang, 2014). These findings are consistent with my own arguments about how Hange and Levi correctly perceiving the other's viewpoint and emotions makes them closer to one another.

I also do want to touch up on something I don't see many people discuss, but I genuinely think the events that happened in Shiganshina, namely Erwin's and the rest of the Survey Corps recruits and veterans' deaths, made Levi and Hange grow even closer than what they were before due to shared trauma. For some reason, bonding over trauma isn't regarded highly among fandoms, however it doesn't make the bond less valid because it happened under a traumatic event. Some people like to disregard the fact Levi and Hange remained the last two veterans alive and lost their common friend as if such experiences only affected them individually and not together, but these experiences are important to their bond and it wouldn't be far-fetched to say they both only grew closer from them despite the griefs they might have felt from such harrowing losses. This concept of shared trauma bringing people closer together might look obvious, but science supports that concept as well, as seen by the findings of this particular study: "Sharing painful experiences with other people, compared with a no-pain control treatment, promoted trusting interpersonal relationships by increasing perceived bonding among strangers" (Bastian, Jetten, & Ferris, 2014). An example from the manga somewhat supporting this theory could be Levi and Hange's telepathic discussion which happens years after the tragic events of Shiganshina, showcasing how close they've become to succeed at communicating only with their eyes.

Therefore, understanding Levi in the way Hange does shows they're humanizing Levi and see him for the person he is rather than the tool or weapon many other characters see him for, himself included. Hange took the time to understand Levi's perspective, his values and motivations which shows they care a lot about him. I would even argue that the main theme of Levi and Hange's relationship is this constant care they're mutually giving to each other throughout the series, and why Hange had to be the one to find a gravely injured Levi after his encounter with Zeke in chapter 115, Support, and then nurse him back to a relatively stable state. I believe that scene is the culmination of their theme, and although we could speculate on what other characters would've done for Levi if they were in Hange's position or whether Hange would've saved another soldier the way they saved Levi (they would've since Hange is a caring person), the fact remains that Hange had to be the person to find Levi in that critical state to make sense narratively speaking, as mutual care is all about the theme of their relationship.

To show how Hange's care towards Levi is showcased throughout the manga, I will include an example occurring before chapter 115 to further prove how this theme has been explored throughout the manga. It didn't magically start after Hange found an injured Levi. There are many instances when Hange is seen caring for Levi, but I'll be using an example directly showing Hange's worry about Levi and his squad's wellbeing taken from chapter 57, Kenny the Ripper. This happens in the Uprising arc when the Military Police is out hunting the Survey Corps, and we see a visibly upset Hange asking Erwin about Levi's squad's whereabouts.

The reason I'm showing more Hange's care towards Levi than Levi's care towards Hange is because Levi cares about everyone, and Hange is obviously included in that everyone. Levi is shown caring more about people than people are really shown caring back for Levi in the same way that he cares about them, so this is why this theme of mutual care between each other is particularly more important to show on Hange's side than on Levi's side. However, to prove how the manga is portraying his care for Hange, I'll use again one example among many taken from chapter 79, Perfect Game, during the Shiganshina arc where we see Levi muse about Hange and the others' whereabouts after Bertolt's explosion. He's even considering meeting with Hange's squad to check up on them when Zeke starts throwing his rocks at the Survey Corps. Similarly to Hange's worry about his wellbeing, we're seeing here Levi's own worry about Hange and their squad's wellbeing clearly displayed in the manga.

This brings me to the misconception still circulating in certain parts of the AoT fandom that Levi hates Hange, and how we can see it has been thoroughly debunked by the closeness they share together. Even so, I'll still analyze it in detail for the remaining sceptical people who stumbled on this post.

First, let's start with the fundamental question: does Levi hate Hange? The arguments I've seen for this claim are that Levi is rude towards Hange as he calls them by harsh nicknames, which can be debated as to how "mean" they actually are (his most used nickname for Hange is "four-eyes", so I'll let you be the judge of how "insulting" this nickname is) and that such a "clean freak" like him (in Hange's words from chapter 9.5, Side Story: Captain Levi) could never tolerate someone like Hange who isn't too keen on bath time. These arguments in my opinion are rather shallow as to why Levi could even hate someone because they "don't bathe as often as he would like", and it's a simplistic view of Levi's character. Levi would never hate someone for not sharing a similar lifestyle as him, especially him, the most non-judgemental character of the series. The only person we can clearly state he hates is Zeke, and that's due to how opposite Zeke is in theming to Levi. Zeke is Levi's narrative foil in where Levi values life and fights as hard as he can to not see people die anymore, Zeke has no remorse using people for his schemes and killing them in the process, seeing their deaths as justified for a greater cause. I would even argue that had Zeke shown some kind of remorse or grief to what he has done, anything that would have redeemed Zeke a bit in Levi's eyes, Levi wouldn't hate him as much as he currently does. This is why Levi is more accepting of the warriors like Reiner or Annie because they do feel grief and remorse for what they've done to the people of Paradis unlike Zeke. But we cannot compare Zeke to Hange, except maybe their intellect and the fact they both wear glasses, but the similarities end there. Hange is much closer to Levi in ideals than they are to Zeke. Simply that Hange is the one to have brought the Alliance together to stop Eren's genocide pretty much shows why Levi even accepted to be part of the Alliance as well, which puts Hange at a complete opposite pole from Zeke.

So then, it would make no sense for Levi to now become judgemental with Hange on the basis of such a trivial disagreement on their bathing routines. Besides, this bathing argument is nowhere to be found in the manga. It comes from side material that is sometimes highly exaggerated for jokes (like in Junior High for example). Therefore, I don't think these types of arguments should be taken seriously, and especially not to prove such an important claim that can unfortunately affect the way people in this fandom see Levi and Hange's bond.

Going back to the rather "rude" name-calling of Levi, this doesn't show Levi hates Hange or anyone for that matter, as Hange isn't the only one on the other side of his rude remarks. The majority of the AoT cast has been subjected to some of his name-callings, but that doesn't mean by any means that he is hateful towards these characters. It's his blunt way to communicate with others, which probably comes from his harsh upbringing, and this is something Hange understands about Levi as they have never been offended by his rude remarks and have instead played along with him, creating a certain kind of bantering between the two as we can see in this example from chapter 26, The Easy Path:

We see how Hange has no problems humouring Levi with their answer even if Levi's comment could be seen as unprofessional and borderline disrespectful by our rather polite society. So then again, on what grounds could Levi even hate Hange, the person who understands him the most in the story? The claim then falls flat, as it would be illogical to say Levi hates the person who understands his world view and can communicate with him the best.

Now, on to another misconception closely linked to the first one, namely that Levi cares more about other characters than Hange, or that his bond with Hange is not as special or as important as his bonds with other characters in the story, or even that Hange isn't crucial to Levi's story as they could've been erased from his story and it wouldn't have changed anything in Levi's story (and if some people believe these comments are too exaggerated, these are real comments I've received under a discussion thread, so no, these ideas unfortunately lurk in this fandom). So, we've already established how close Levi and Hange are due to their communication skills and shared trauma with different examples taken from the manga, and how the theme of their bond is mutual care. Why would their closeness and theme be regarded by the fandom as less important than any other themes from AoT, and more importantly, why would Levi in particular care less about his bond with Hange when Hange is the closest to him?

I've already expressed how Levi views all of his relationships equally in terms of emotional impact, and even more so, his care for others is such that he'll care about strangers as much as he cares about his own friends or family. I do think this is a difficult concept to grasp for some people in this fandom as we as human beings all prioritize our relationships with our family and friends rather than the ones we might have with acquaintances or strangers, and this is a totally normal behaviour to have. However, such behaviour doesn't apply to Levi as he is quite literally considered the ideal person, the archetype we should strive to reach as readers or anime viewers learning about his story. And so, to claim that Levi might have "favourites" in his life is completely inconsistent with Levi's own personal theme as a character, which is the value of life. What messages would a character representing such an important concept, even more so nowadays in our troubled times when clearly, the rights of certain people are seen as more valuable than the rights of others, send if he cared more about certain characters than others? It would make no sense thematically speaking, and even worse, it would mean that indeed, some characters' lives are actually more valuable than others, which would only shatter his theme. When I say that no character's life is more valuable to Levi, it's never in relation to the ranking of said character, because by that idea, then of course Erwin as commander is more valuable than anyone from the Survey Corps when Erwin was commander, but more in relation to the intrinsic aspect of life and how that character's life affects Levi, and on that level, the emotional importance level, everyone is equally important to Levi, no exceptions. This is why stating otherwise about Levi and his bond with Hange does a huge disservice to Levi's own character as it destroys the fundamentals of his theme in canon.

If someone isn't interested in such theme and prefers a fanon version of Levi's character, that's totally valid too and I'm not here discussing how people should see Levi fanonically as we all have different headcanons and ideas about him that are all worth exploring in fanon territory, but I do think it's important to make the difference between what themes Levi actually represents in AoT and ideas about him that are fanon, which is something some parts of this fandom struggle to make sometimes. It's okay if some people aren't interested by Levi's incredible empathy and selflessness and would rather see him care the most about their favourite character, but these people should keep in mind this isn't how Levi operates in canon, and therefore claims like Levi doesn't care as much about other characters that aren't their favourites, like Hange for instance that unfortunately receives a lot of these bad takes, should not really circulate among the fandom in the first place. These misconceptions lurk in the fandom because some people genuinely believe Levi canonically has favourites, and that's what I'm trying to debunk with this post that has now become an analysis about Levi's character too lolol. But basically, by saying he doesn't care as much about Hange as other characters paints an image of Levi that's inconsistent with the actions he's taking in canon, and it confuses the fandom as to whether these claims are actually correct or false.

Just to give an example of this doubt that's cast in the fandom about Levi, the main reasons I've seen for people to dislike Levi's character are rooted in this false narrative that Levi is obsessed with the promise to kill Zeke, and by some sort of extension to be obsessed with Erwin (as if the promise was just about Erwin, but I won't start on this topic for this post), which is why they don't like Levi. But what these people actually don't like is this fanon interpretation of Levi, which many other Levi fans and myself don't like either, and that's where the doubt is cast since many Levi haters really believe this is how Levi acts in canon, that he really just cares about Erwin or cares more about him than anyone else (and yes, these two misconceptions are part of the same coin, they're not different) because they've seen this take circulate in the fandom presented as a canon fact, so of course it can be difficult to spot the mistake. Therefore, it disrupts Levi's canon self by stating such misconceptions, going as far as making some people believe these misconceptions to be true. They're not seen how they should actually be seen, as some fanon interpretations that a portion of the AoT fandom has about Levi that you may like or not, this is a personal preference, but regardless of whether these fanon interpretations are liked or not, they're canonically incorrect.

To sum everything up, Levi and Hange are both incredible characters individually and together, and what makes them really strong is this closeness they share which results into mutual care and why such close scenes between each other like in chapter 115 or in chapter 126, Pride, where we see Hange physically take care of a wounded Levi in the forest, even exist in both the manga and in the anime. I also think it's interesting to see how the two "abnormals" of the story seem to be the ones to understand each other the most, which is definitely a very fitting theme for them. While I know it's impossible to stop established popular misconceptions from spreading in this fandom, I hope at least that this post shed a bit of light on Levi and Hange's bond and maybe more people will be discouraged to state Levi hates Hange or that Levi cares more about certain characters than others after stumbling on this post.

[user2772636]

Douzième Fille

12th Girl

××《☆》××

××《☆》××

Some chances are taken too late. You only realise what you've lost when you're starting to lose them. Goodbyes are hard, especially when you've just started.

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Joseph Descamps x Reader

Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST, turn back now I'm warning you, goodbyes, intimate scenes, MAJOR heartbreak, swearing

References to Call Me By Your Name

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Chapter eight: Joseph, Joseph, Joseph

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It was hot that morning. I woke up in a layer of sweat, windows exuding heat, hair clinging on my neck, my blanket on the hardwood floor.

George sits on the window frame, taking the heat opposite of how I was.

I get up, groaning with a slight headache. I place my feet on the floor, keeping my eyes closed for the time being, trying to relax and gain back my senses.

There'd been a feeling in me this whole time, but as I woke up, it felt so much more evident. A clench in my chest.

I don't know where it came from or when it started, but I felt it there. It never really took my attention. Maybe it was from whatever position I was in. Or if I hadn't eaten or drank enough.

Summer is just around the corner, but I don't want it to start. It was always something I looked forward to.

Dipping into cold waters under the heat of the afternoon sun, eating fruits with their juices spilling over countertops and silverware. Tanning, sunburns, dry mouths from salt water. Then winter comes and you wait for summer again.

It's probably because I'm expecting something I know won't be there. But what is it? I have a summer job now, and I'm headed to Paris. What else could I possibly want?

I know exactly what. It's not that I'm afraid of it. It's because I can't change it. And it hurts.

Summer is when I'm supposed to be happy. He's ruined all of that now. I've got to get a grip, too. He won't care, so I shouldn't. But I care. I care a lot.

This isn't something I should think about. I'll forget him as soon as I get to Paris. I'll forget anything that's happened between us, even if nothing really did. I'll forget, and I'll forever have that feeling that I felt now. That something's there, and I'm not giving it attention.

Because deep down, I know what it is. And, it hurts.

××《☆》××

The walk to school was short-lived and ordinary. Nothing special happened. It was just brighter; which didn't really match my mood.

I was also a bit late. Most of the students were already heading in, and the bell rang as soon as I stepped through the gate.

I make my way up the staircase, keeping my head downcast and not paying anyone any mind.

All throught class it wasn't special. We did assignments, lectures, and all common school things. But the sound of pages being flipped, ink on paper, pattering of floorboards, it comforted me. I knew those sounds would stay with me throughout my life. People don't.

When class was dismissed, I took my time. I might not see this school again. I might move back to Paris. I might not see Michèle or Simone as much. And I won't, more so refuse to see Joseph ever.

It was afternoon now, so everything's brighter than this morning. And everything's hotter, too. I shade my face with my hands, squinting to see Callum's well-known car on the side of the road.

He's outside leaning on the door, smoking. I'm guessing his third cigarette today. He still has his wide smile on, and I wonder if his cheeks ever hurt.

"Good afternoon, pretty girl." He says as he patches his cigarette out. "How are you?"

"Hot." I shrug, going around the car with Callum as he opens the passenger door for me. I get inside, him as well after doing another roundabout the car.

"Well, love how you state what I already know." I think about that sentence for a while, sensing it was off. I realise what he meant, and I smack his arm.

"Oh, what now? Let me be funny!" I roll my eyes as he starts the car, a faint smile on my face. One thing I know for sure is that Callum is one of the people who would stay with me throughout my life. He was the reason I'm going back to Paris, the reason I have somewhat of a career. And I'm glad I met him, even with the circumstances of difficult feelings.

Whilst I talked about my day to him, I had realised nothing special happened because I didn't interact with Joseph. The day felt gloomy. It felt so underwhelming, so boring, because he wasn't involved.

"And it's so weird because we hadn't talked since that dinner." I tell Callum, who's been listening to me this whole time. We decided to go to a lake to cool off. It was a bit well known, but not too crowded since the school season isn’t off yet.

I made a quick pick up in my house, including a goodbye to George.

Going back, Callum nods. His hand flexes on the steering wheel.

"So, let me round this up. Joseph's mother invited you to dinner, then teased both you and him, then when he walks you out to their place, some girl-"

"The girl from the alley."

"The girl from the alley pops up from nowhere, fully dressed up."

"Exactly."

"But, why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"I mean, sure, I've never met her, but who could compete against you?"

"Okay, Callum, whatever-"

"No, I mean, how stupid can Joseph be to pick anyone but you?" This makes my breath catch on my throat.

"Don't call him stupid, Callum. He's fucking brilliant."

He quiets down, smile fading just a bit from my serious tone.

"Sorry." I had apologised.

"No need. It's fine. I just... you know what I meant."

"Yeah, I knew what you meant. Just... instict, you know?"

"I get that. You're in love, so you're defensive." He shrugs and starts to smile again. He's holding in a laugh.

"Shut up." I glare.

"Not gonna happen." I don't want it to happen.

××《☆》××

The next morning was the same. It was hot, I took a longer shower, got dressed, said goodbye to George, and headed to school.

This time, I met with Simone. I ask her about Michèle, getting worried that she hasn't come to school for two days straight. Before she could respond, she stopped in her tracks, seeing Jean Pierre across the hall.

"I- I'm sorry, Y/N, but I really need to talk to Jean Pierre. Stay here, please?" She scrunches up her face in guilt, but I simply shrug it off, knowing that if she wants to talk to someone, I shouldn't stop her. Especially if that someone is her boyfriend. Or whatever he is.

They go ahead to talk, me staying at the same place she left me, keeping a close eye on them. I lean against the wall, the hallway now a lot more quiet than when the bell rang a few minutes ago.

Their conversation lasted for only a bit because I saw Jean Pierre walking away. I head to Simone's side.

"So, what did you talk about?" She's still, and there's no emotion on her face. I worry.

"He just broke up with me." Oh. I pull her into a side hug, not knowing whether she was devastated with the news or if she was okay with it. She looked like both but neither at the same time.

I nod towards the stairwell, deciding for the both of us we should head to the courtyard to have our break. Or the bathroom for a quick cry.

We pass by a group of boys, and one of them keeps his eyes on me. Then, when I turned to glance at who it was, I realised it was just an eye.

In that moment, everything in me faded away. All the hate towards him, all the sadness, all the misunderstanding. I just wanted to talk to him again. For one last time. So I did.

"Joseph," I stop in my tracks. I tell Simone to keep going, that I'm fine left alone. She nods in acknowledgement and walks down the staircase.

I turn around to meet his stare. My breath catches in my throat, not having this kind of interaction in a while.

I walk towards him, a bit slow. "Can I talk to you?" I pause. "Alone?"

His friends tease him and push him around lightly, but his eyes are still as well as his whole body. I fear his heart might be, too.

He simply nods and silently eyes his friends to go. We're left alone near the window and take a seat in the space.

"You must be wondering why I'm talking to you again so suddenly." He stays quiet, looking down.

"Joseph..." I scoot closer. I bring both my hands up to his cheeks, only hovering above them.

He stays silent. I bring my hands back until he leans forward and into them, gently grabbing my wrists and holding them still. I feel the air come out of his nose as he exhales, body slumping down.

"I'm sorry. For everything. Ignoring you was one of the most stupid things I've done. Being angry was second." I tilt my head to see if he's opened his eye, but he keeps them closed. His thumb rubs one of my wrists.

"You should be with anyone you want to be with. It shouldn't matter to me. But, it did." He lifts his head, peering an eye. His mouth opens, then closes again. I keep going.

"I missed you. I've been missing you. I miss all the times we weren't mad at each other." I caress his cheeks, and he leans into my touch.

"I was never mad at you." Joseph says, but I shake my head.

"You were. And that's fine. It's okay to be mad at me. I get it." He furrows his brows at me.

"Don't say that. I was never mad at you. I've never been mad at you."

"But what about all those times you shouted at me? Those times in the streets?" He sighs deeply, not as relaxed as before.

"I was mad at myself, but I was letting it out on you. And I'm sorry about that. But trust me, I could never be mad at you."

We just stare at each other after. The silence fills the air, and it's the first time it was like this in a while. I had to tell him.

"I'm leaving." I feel his breath stop, and it's so nauseating.

"What?" He mumbles out.

"I'm leaving." I repeat.

"For the summer?" He squints, the gears turning in his head. I wish it was only for the summer.

"No," I look down. "For good."

He pulls away from my hands, sitting straight again.

"No..." He shakes his head. "Don't lie to me."

"I would never." I look him dead in the eye, not wanting him to think that I would ever do.

"Exactly. I know you'd never. So why are you lying to me now? This is some joke, right? Like a cliffhanger for next year. Right?" I simply stare at him.

"Y/N, please tell me you're lying. I'll let it slide. Tell me you're lying." He begs, grabbing a hold of my dropped hands.

I don't move. I don't look at him. I don't say anything. That was enough of an answer.

"No..." He whispers. He does it all over again as he gets up and paces. He rubs at his eye, and I get up and say "Stop."

He stills. I see the tear stains reflect off his cheeks from the sunlight outside coming in. His head is down as it was before. I sigh deeply, placing my hands on his shoulders.

"Come here." I pull him in, and he immediately engulfs me in an embrace. He sobs desperately, and I try my hardest not to join him.

A series of "please don't go"s spill out of his quivering mouth, and my brain goes numb. He's shaking. His heart is pounding. His mind's all over the place.

I hush him, rubbing his back like I do with a baby, whispering nothings into his ear. When he stops, his body is still slumped down to hold mine.

"We wasted so many days. Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He asks once we're sat back down the window.

"I tried. I promise. We were still mad." He laughs, and it's been such a long time that my brain got nostalgia.

"Fuck. I'm gonna miss you all over again." He bites his lip as he looks down, fiddling with the inseam of his pants. I purse my lips together.

"We'll keep in touch." He shakes his head.

"You'd be everywhere."

"I'll call your home phone."

"I'm not gonna be home in the summer."

"I'll call wherever you are."

"Thank god you thought of something for that because I was ready to start sobbing again." He laughs again, and the suns back in his eyes. Like it left and came back.

I grab a hold of his hands, stopping him from fidgeting. I make him look back up at me.

"I promise I'll phone you every day. I'll send you letters, postcards, and pictures. I'll even send you some magazines I'm in." I shrug, and he smiles.

"I don't think you have to do that last one. I'm keeping my eye on every magazine booth here on out." We chuckle together. We stay quiet again, then Joseph tucks my hair behind my ear.

"You're beautiful, Y/N Pardine. You'll do great out there. I'm only a phone call or a pen away." I flush at his bluntness and smile sweetly. He does, too.

××《☆》××

The party happened. We spent almost the whole time together. We had even danced.

An American song called "At Last" plays in the background as Joseph holds me, dancing slowly.

His hands cup my waist, my arms wrapped around his neck, his forehead against mine. I play with the ends of his hair as he caresses my body.

We laugh, we drink, we talk, and we glance. We do what we missed. We held each other. We absorbed one another.

There was a time in that party that happened between Simone and Jean Pierre. Thank god he finally said something of the truth, because that breakup was a straight lie.

Anyways, the night ended, but nothing happened. I don't know what I was expecting, but there was a feeling something special could've happened to me. Like a string tugging on my insides.

Something to do with pretty pink lips.

××《☆》××

The next morning, I woke up with his arms around me.

He smelt of fading whiskey, cigarette smoke, and expensive cologne. Just as he always did.

His eye patch was off, his hair a mess, and his jacket's on the floor. His shirt is wrinkled, he's breathing evenly as one does in their sleep, and there's a small snore coming from him. It's adorable.

When I get up, or at least try to, his grip on me tightens. Not in a way that hurts, but it's strong enough for me to come collapsing on his chest. He's warm again.

"Five more minutes." He groans, and I sigh deeply. Five more minutes will be alright.

Ten minutes pass, and only then do we get up. I hand him a towel and some clothes, my father's again, then one of my own, then usher him to the bathroom. I fix our bed, pick his jacket up off the floor, and fold it neatly.

Once I hear the shower turn off and the door creak, I try my best not to turn and just... stare. It's creepy, I know. But, who could blame me? I mean, I was leaving for good.

Right. Leaving for good.

I feel his arms wrap around my waist, his head tucking into my neck, his nose poking at some sensitive spots. I squeal silently, and he chuckles to himself, the vibration of his chest spreading around my back.

"Want some breakfast?" He whispers. George lies by the windowsill, watching the both of us in embrace. His tail moves around, eyes blinking slowly. He's glowing from the sunlight hitting him.

"If you don't mind. Please, and thank you." I turn my head a bit towards him. He nods, pressing a kiss to my hair. I smile to myself whilst I check things off my list last minute.

He's done with breakfast by the time I finish my quick shower. I'm fully dressed now. The only things missing are my coat and my suitcases.

Joseph sits across from me. We were in this position before.

"So, how's Callum? Still a prick?" He says as he stabs on some of the eggs he made. I finish my bite before answering.

"Callum's doing fine. I don't know why you've always been so off about him. He's a good guy." I shrug, tilting my head for an answer. "What's got you like that?"

He sighs, dropping his utensils gently on the table top. I place a hand over his, and he turns it to hold mine.

"Felt like he stole you from me." He mumbles, but it was clear enough for me to hear.

I purse my lips at this remark. "No one's gonna keep me away from you. Except that girl that actually did." I laugh as Joseph groans.

"I already told you, I didn't even know her." From this, I kept going.

"Well, then why did you basically call me a slut?" I raise my eyebrows in amusement, as to show that I moved on from it. Still, I was curious.

He pauses. For a long time. I begin to worry, thinking he actually meant it. I try to pull my hand away, but his grip turns firm.

"No." Joseph whispers out of desperation. He's taking deep breaths. I can tell he's overthinking. But I need to know the truth.

"You've got to tell me, Joseph. Otherwise, we'll shrug each other off again. Do you want that?" I push on him. He needs to tell me. I need to know.

"No. I don't want that. Just..." He closes his eyes, readying himself.

"The boys wanted to talk to you. I couldn't let them. I knew how they meant. And I'll just put it simply that they meant badly. So I had to tell them things about you that weren't true so they could get pushed away from the idea of you." He cups my cheeks from across the table. I lean into his touch.

"I don't want anyone to take advantage of you. Thank whatever god is up there that I found out because if I hadn't..." He breathes in deeply, caressing my face with his thumb. "I don't even want to think about that. Okay?"

I nod. I get up from my seat to give him a hug. He remains seated, his face pressed up on my stomach. I rub his back and comb fingers through his hair.

He stands up slowly, hands still attached to my hips. They roam up to my wait as he hovers over me, and I feel my breath hitch in my throat. He's so close. His nose just bumps into mine. He's looking down at me. At my eyes. At my lips. His breath is haggard.

"Callum's probably waiting." I whisper, my breath fanning over both our lips. Our lips only an inch away from eachother.

"Let him wait." His voice is low. He's starting to make my knees buckle.

A loud crash is heard throughout the flat. I yelp away from him. Now we're feet away from each other, cheeks flushed and hair tousled. As if we did something. And we didn't even.

George meows on the kitchen counter, staring at us innocently with the keys now on the floor. I sigh deeply, walking towards him and picking him up.

"Oh, I hope you don't mind, but," I hand George to Joseph. "My baby's yours."

His eye widens in surprise, then he switches his gaze from me to the cat, then back to me, then back to the cat.

"I can't..." I shake my head, smiling.

"He's yours, Joseph. That's final. He already loves you more than me. It's alright. Plus everytime you see him, you think of me."

He flushes, demeanour relaxing. "I already think of you too much."

It's my turn to flush now. But I respond. "Good."

××《☆》××

We arrive at the train station. I bid a thank you and goodbye to Joseph's mother, hugging her for a short while. Joseph carries all my belongings.

I spot Callum at a bench.

"Callum, you remember Joseph." I nod to Joseph. He drops my things next to Callum's.

"Of course I do. The infamous lover boy. It was nice meeting you, man." Callum shakes Joseph's hand. Joseph purses his lips tightly, gripping on Callum's hand.

"I'm still not sure about you... but she trusts you, so I should, too." Callum nods firmly. They let go of their handshake.

"Well, I better get our things in. Say your final goodbyes." He moves to go in the train. Me and Joseph are alone again.

"Got your pretty things intact?" Joseph teases, and I simply laugh.

"Yes, I do." I look up at him. He moves closer, hands on his hips.

"One day, I'll hear those words again." There's a feeling in me. Like dejavu, but a feeling from the future. I couldn't explain it, but what he said made sense. Like I knew, I would say those words again, too.

We stand in silence. I walked closer, embracing him for one last time. He leans down, his hands tight around me, his head over mine. I feel a lump in my throat.

We held each other for one last time. We smelt each other for one last time. We absorbed each other one last time.

I try to pull away, but he pulls me back in. The lump grows bigger.

When we finally pull away, my eyes start to sting. I palm my throat, trying to push that growing lump down. His hands are on my shoulders. He lets go.

"Goodbye, Y/N Pardine." He mutters, his voice breaking.

"Goodbye, Joseph Descamps." I mock him with a smile on my face.

I turn around and walk on the train. Joseph follows me, guiding me up the steps. His hand holds onto mine. I hang on the pole.

The train blares its horns, and it starts to move very slowly. The tears escape my eyes. He wipes it away.

"Y/N," he says. "I love you."

I sob. I laugh. It's a bit ugly.

"I love you, too. So much."

He stands on his toes and kisses me. His pretty pink lips are finally on mine. I grip the trains pole harder.

The trains blares again, and my kisses become more desperate. The train moves faster and faster, and Joseph starts to run. His lips start parting from mine, tears dropping even more.

"Come back to me, Y/N!" He shouts. He's still running. He's laughing now. And he's crying. He's beautiful. He gets farther, farther, and farther.

Then he's gone.

××《☆》××

End- Chapter eight: Joseph, Joseph, Joseph

Next- Chapter nine: ______

××《☆》××

I'm actually crying omfg. This hits so diff w the song in the background. Its short but omfg the angst. Help me. Hahhahahahaha.

[raiswanson]

New Witch-Hag of Sorrelwood excerpt!

So I might have skipped right past 25k and gone right to 30k, oops lol. To cover for that we have another nice big snippet to show off!

(full ~500 word excerpt under the cut! Prev one [here] Next one [here]!)

~~~~~~~~~~~

I wasn’t really interested in their food or company, but found myself sitting atop a thrown blanket by the fire anyway. It was something to do at least. And maybe I’d learn something in the meantime. “Go ahead. Ask,” I grunted, giving them all a knowing look that colored their faces.

The group flushed and floundered for a moment until one finally blurted out, “How did you kill it?”

Direct. I appreciated that over the roundabout their Captain was giving me. “The only way you should ever try to kill a dragon if you have a choice: I let it wear itself out. Bled it a bit, then slashed its throat and put a blade right through the ribs, here,” I said, patting my side. “They have two hearts, of course, but you only need to pierce one if the beast is sufficiently weakened. Don’t ever try any of that beheading nonsense you hear about. The bones in their neck will crack your blade and they’ll eat you long before you manage to single out a vertebrae.”

Four heads bobbled in agreement, though I suspected they weren’t listening to the advice. It was all the same, at least. The odds of any of them encountering a dragon was slim in Eoden, and only barely more likely outside.

“But not so with a blade like yours, right sir...?” the closest one asked, gaze homing in on the hilt at my hip.

I allowed myself a small smile at their admiration. No better than children, these ones. They were luckiest of all I’d finished the dragon before their arrival—no doubt they’d have been first to go down. “Aye. EndClaw is of a special caliber, yes.”

The name brought a shivering energy from the four, and another leaned in close to gaze at it. “Is it really—”

I answered the usual questions before they could come.

Yes, my blade was crafted from a dragon.

Yes, I’d killed the owner.

Yes, it’d been my first dragon, and the source of one of my names.

Yes, the dragon had been one capable of transformation, which gave the blade its ability to change form.

No, it hadn’t been made from a claw, but I’d already lost their attention by the time I got to that.

Creative license, the sorcerer who’d made it for me had claimed.

Gasps went around as I held EndClaw out for them to see, and I shook my head as they inevitably tried to shift its shape for themselves. The bespelled tooth would only change if magic was channeled into it, and such a skill was incredibly rare in Eoden outside of the royal family. But even in resting state, as a simple dagger, anyone had to admit it was a beautiful piece of work. The sorcerer had been a fool with no sense in his head, but he had known how to craft a damn fine weapon.

[yjwfiles04]

l e e c h —

pairing: gamerboyfriend!heeseung × girlfriend!reader

word count: 816 words

warnings: heeseung called reader a leech unintentionally, crying, relationship fight. (if i missed anything, lmk)

additional: mentioned of LoL (league of legends), i am not really familiar of the game but played mlbb instead, and as far as i know they have some similarities, but since heeseung is an LoL gamer, i had to work with it. deliberately lowercased.

"hey, babe," you called as you approached heeseung, your boyfriend, who is currently eating on the couch of your shared apartment. "look, i installed LoL." you continued as you sat down beside him and showed him the application that you just installed on your phone.

"no way. you did?" he replied, looking at you with surprised. you smiled at him and opened the game. "i already created an account. i played a few times, and i think i get it" you slightly shrugged with what you said.

"can we play together?" you suggested, looking at him, waiting for a response. "well, shall we give it a try?" he responded as he got his phone, "but i don't think you can handle the enemies we'll be having since my tier is pretty higher than yours," he said as he opened the game as aswell.

you looked at him and sigh, "really?" you asked sadly. "no—i just meant that it'll be a bit challenging for you since you don't know the game enough yet. but i'll be here, though. you just work and stick with me, and maybe we can work it out and have some luck?" he assured you while smiling and patted your head.

from then on, you both played together. he helped you get your tier up, of course, while carrying you on the game because you still don't know the duties of the heroes and which lane they should be in and other roundabouts in the game. a typical beginner player.

well, worse luck. after some time playing with heeseung, he got worn out playing. as a pro gamer as he is, he cannot just accept continuous defeat, especially in a ranked ladder game. every ranked game you both played, and every defeat that happened, made him feel dismayed.

"babe, i told you to stay in your lane; don't just follow me and kill-steal the monsters. i'm the jungler, so i should be doing that. we've talked about this since we've played," he sighed in distress as he closed his eyes for a second. "but what if i die?" you whined while still following him in the game.

he just deeply sighed again and continues to defend your losing team.

"oh, come on." he dropped his phone harshly on the table and smudged his hands onto his face. "did you see what you did? we lost. again." he complained while looking at you tiredly. it was many times that you both lost because you insisted on keeping playing. you gulped and took his hands. "i'm so sorry; i didn't mean to. i was just scared they would kill me," you stated unsettled.

"you were so scared to be killed that you always had to also get me killed, yeah?" he responded harshly, which took you by surprise. "well, i—" you were cut off by him. "you know what, keep it to yourself. i don't want your excuses. did you see that my tier got real down because of your stupidity?" he said as he looked at you sharply.

you looked at him with teary eyes; he never really spoke to you like that, but now you just feel horrible about the way he acted. "i—i'm sorry, i thought it was fine with you..." you're tearing up.

"it was. not until you decided to be a leech—no, i—" he immediately cut his sentence, realizing he must've gone too far. you looked at him brokenhearted. "babe—baby, i didn't mean to— i was—" you cut him off by running towards your shared bedroom and banged the door shut and immediately lay down onto the bed, sobbing, clearly hurt by what he said.

he called up to you many times, but you couldn't hear a word he said. it was just a game, but he had gone too far with the words he shot at you. but you know you did something wrong as well, and you knew the game was important to him. that's what keeps you more miserable.

—

after a moment, your puffed eyes began to close, and eventually you fell asleep with a weighted heart.

you got awoken by something on your back that's holding you by your waist; when you slightly move, it's held tight. you squirmed, causing him to tilt his head to look at you. "heeseung, it's too tight," you complained weakly. "oh, sorry, babe," he replied as he looked at you with sorrow in his eyes.

"babe, i know what i said was horrible. i admitted, i got so carried away i didn't control myself" he started. "i am so sorry, love. i promise not to do that again; it was so shallow for me to acted that way. please forgive me; i should've been more patient with you." he continued. you turned to him and intensely stared at his eyes; you could see that he was sincere. you took a deep breath and looked at him again. "i'm sorry as well for my mistakes and for being ignorant, i hope that you could forgive me as well," you said as you hugged him.

he hugged you tightly and kissed your forehead.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Random Sailor Moon aside, the person I chat with about it, Fooze who is very cool and fun, we have an elaborate take on Minako & Michiru, IE, Venus and Neptune.

See, Minako's whole narrative in Sailor V's prequal manga was her having to fight all these monsters solo and ultimately determining that duty to her princess/queen comes before everything else.

Michiru had to fight alone for a bit too, though how long is unclear, but her personal loyalty and devotion is directed at Haruka and she honestly seems to dislike being tied to the other Senshi at all.

In essence you have two people who are driven by a monstrous level of devotion, but one is defined by duty at the expense of love and the other love at the expense of duty. Or more, duty/love at the expense of literally everything else, especially as Michiru openly states a world without Haruka is not one worth saving & Minako has similarly implied levels of devotion to Usagi & the queen.

Which is a roundabout way of saying we think thee two fucking HATE each other. As in, deeper than bone or marrow, burned into the very fiery core of their souls, they cannot stand one another. Because they are both way too similar but also radically different in all ways that they cannot stand to see reflected in one another.

Which on a basic level means they cannot be left alone together.

There will be violence.

It doesn't matter that Michiru is an outer senshi with a talisman, it doesn't matter than Minako is the leader or sometimes carries the crystal sword. Them fighting would be a total forsaking of all that.

Minako and Michiru fighting is basically just two gods trying to mawl one another. Ay sense of bubbly facades or militant control is lost in Mianko, any sign of elegance of refine is gone from Michiru.

Its just pure unadulterated violence.

Of course Minako knows her fighting with the Outers or Michiru especially would make Usagi sad so she doesn't do it and Michiru doesn't want to upset or worry Haruka so she doesn't do it. But like, if they could get away with it...

You know what I agree but now I need to see them fight about it

[writing-for-life]

When Desire Stops Being The Villain

I’m currently re-reading (for the felt 100th time, and I might not even be far off 🤣) “Brief Lives”, both for a meta I have in the making and also for the sequel to my fic.

And we are so often talking about how deliberate Dream (and by extension Neil Gaiman) is in the choice of his words. And as I said, I’ve read Brief Lives so many times, but this time, I’ve done it specifically with the conceptual sibling relationships in mind, and I’d just like to draw attention to this panel:

Dream very explicitly says, “I have no desire to do this, my sister.”

Very often (and probably also deliberately due to a) who he is and b) the strained sibling-relationship), he will choose words like “wish” instead. But here, he speaks of the absence of desire.

And you cannot tell me that’s not a deliberate choice of words. If we look at this conceptually, and think about how Desire wants to lead him into his downfall, we see a very notable change throughout the whole arc of Brief Lives:

They warned him at the beginning not to go with Delirium (“tell the little gleet to buzz off”)

They told Tiffany that they tried to talk sense into him, but he wouldn’t listen (that whole thing about not having the sense to come in from the rain)

After Dream killed Orpheus, Despair tells Desire it’s not their doing (and there’s also significance here that they meet in Despair’s realm, not the Threshold). And they admit they should feel elated he spilled family blood, but that they don’t. That they thought it’s what they wanted, but they didn’t. That they’re scared.

And then they proceed to float in an eyeball to basically mourn (and what and whom they think about is set up to be a bit ambiguous, but it truly isn’t).

But back to the panel:

Desire is not there. They are not part of the plan to spill family blood anymore, like they were with Rose (which also isn’t straightforward; I wrote about this before in a roundabout way).

They are not part of Dream’s final descent. The final nails in the coffin all come from Dream himself (and are mirrored, as we all know, in his relationships to Delirium, Destiny and Destruction at this point. Despair and Death are obviously in there to, but more after the fact, so to speak). Well, to be frank, they always did.

But the one either being notably absent or actively trying to prevent Dream giving in to Delirium (see what I did there?), seeking Destruction or talking to Orpheus is the supposedly least likely candidate. The one we so often think would want Dream to do all these things so it leads to his demise.

I’m not saying that the others don’t have their moments. Both Destiny and Destruction do in a roundabout way, but conceptually, they just aren’t particularly helpful for someone in Dream’s state of mind. And of course Del with her moment of clarity when she gets him up from falling to his knees in Destiny’s garden. But there is more metaphor than you can shake a stick at in that one, too, and conceptually, the message is not straightforward. Because it gives us a lot to think about if Delirium, clear or not, gets you back on your feet after you buckle under the weight of what you are supposedly… destined to do, but that just as an aside.

Desire’s and Dream’s relationship is so complex (as are all the sibling relationships), and I’d just like to encourage everyone to have the occasional stab at reading all these bits through a slightly different lens, and understanding that their relationship is not just straightforward hate.

It’s incredibly tragic, and I feel inclined to say for both.

[zaldritzosrose]

Pride Celebration: TRoP Part One

Halbrand x Unnamed Male Character x Unnamed Female Character (Song - Desire by Meg Myers)

CW: MINORS DNI, 18+ ONLY, he/him pronouns, she/her pronouns, mfm threesome, acceptance of same sex romance, oral sex (male to male), non-penetrative sex, mentions of sex work.

Numenor had everything Halbrand needed. A forge to work in. Taverns to spend his evenings. A plethora of beautiful women to keep him occupied.

Or should he say, one woman in particular. She ran a nearby pleasure house, fronted by a tavern. No matter what, she made time for him. She knew what he liked, what he didn’t. If Halbrand was honest, she knew more than anyone else knew. For the most part.

Even some things he hadn’t yet admitted to himself.

Baby, I wanna touch you

Tonight was a night like every other. From the forge, straight to the tavern. Soon a drink was in his hand and his whole posture seemed to relax. Halbrand could smell her perfume before she even came close.

“There he is…” she purred, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders, massaging the tight muscles.

Halbrand groaned softly, leaning back into her touch. He could tell, without even looking at her, that there was mischief in her eyes. She had something in mind, all he had to do was ask.

“Mhmm, you are always there for me, aren’t you?” Halbrand chuckled, finishing his drink and turning to face her.

One look into her eyes told him more than words ever could. Curiosity bit at him immediately.

I wanna breathe into your well

Just as she always did, she led him through the back of the tavern. The smell of ale and smoke slowly transforming into the scent of incense and sex. A smell that had long become a comfort for Halbrand, in the same way the heat of the forge was.

She led him to their usual room, a private corner shuttered away from prying eyes. Something Halbrad much appreciated.

His eyes trailed over the others. Men and women in various states of undress and wrapped in positions that he could hardly bend his head around. 

What he couldn’t see, was how she watched him. A small, knowing smile on her lips.

See, I gotta hunt you

Halbrand lounged on the bed, piles of cushions surrounding him like a nest. His shirt had been discarded the moment he’d crossed the threshold. She was, as usual, clad in only a sheer robe. Hair loose and rolling in waves down to her waist.

She poured them both wine, handing him a glass with that same mischievous smirk.

“I have something to ask you, Halbrand.”

He nodded, sipping from his wine. She usually put aside a whole night for him, so conversation was standard for him. She climbed on to the bed, kneeling between his spread legs.

“You like more than just me, do you not?” she asked softly, her head tilted.

His brow raised. That question seemed innocent but he knew she was searching for something. Apparently, he hadn’t been quite as subtle in his stares as he thought. And she was perceptive, he knew she’d seen one particular stare.

“I do. And shall we leave out the roundabout question and get to the part where we…enjoy ourselves for the evening.” Halbrand chuckled, finishing his wine.

She crawled further up the bed, her hands on his thighs. The mischievous smile becoming a knowing smile.

“Then…shall I add to that enjoyment?”

I gotta bring you to my hell

Halbrand watched as she turned, ringing a small bell on the bedside table. His simple yes was all she needed. She knew him inside and out, it seemed. He believed that even more, when the man she summoned walked in.

A man he had been enthralled by the moment he had set eyes on him. A man he had seen her engage with, pleasing patrons between them. Now it was his turn, it seemed.

“Does he still please you, Halbrand?” she whispered, leaning forward and teasing him with an almost kiss.

He wandered closer, waiting for Halbrand to urge him closer with a motion of his hand. He climbed onto the bed, and as if on instinct, Halbrand wrapped an arm around his slim waist.

“Oh, you always know me so well, my sweet flower,” Halbrand replied.

Her lips were on Halbrand’s jaw and his were on his neck. Halbrand’s hands found purchase where he could. On her waist, on the back of his neck. He could do nothing more than lose himself to the joint pleasure of their lips on his skin.

His flower straddled the smith’s thighs, his hand holding her steady as she worked at the laces of his trousers. Shimmying down his body and moving to throw them to the floor. Halbrand could smell the other man’s cologne, liked smoke and honey. Invading his senses as he relaxed back into their ministrations.

Baby, I wanna fuck you

It wasn’t long before they were all bare. Tangled together as hands wandered and soft moans filled the room. His honey and his flower, working in tandem to bring Halbrand to the pinnacle of sensory stimulation.

“What do you want us to do, Halbrand?” his honey asked, the tip of his nose buried in the crook of his neck.

Halbrand held them both close, knowing exactly what he wanted.

“I need to feel you both, surrender myself to whatever you will give me…” he groaned, his cock already twitching in anticipation.

His lovers shared a smile, moving in perfect synchronization to where they needed to be. She straddled his waist, her hand already moving to wrap around his thick length. His honey knelt to his left, his hands roaming his body along with his lips. Halbrand could only lay back in complete bliss.

I wanna feel you in my bones

His flower rolled her hips against him, while his honey licked a hot stripe of the slit of his cock. Halbrand had never felt anything like it, but he hoped he would be able to feel it again. And again. And again.

Halbrand held her waist with one hand, his other tangling in his honey’s hair. Urging him close in a desperate need for release.

Between them they worked in tandem. The slide of her folds against his length, the warmth of his honey’s lips and tongue. Everything together soon worked him to his release, firing through him with groans and pants of their names. 

Both of them entirely focused on his pleasure, keeping him going until he was well and truly spent.

Boy, I'm gonna love you. I'm gonna tear you into your soul

Though for the rest of the night, the room was a pit of sex and pleasure. With his flower’s help, Halbrand let himself relax into how he felt around another man. About how his honey managed to give him just the same pleasure as she did.

How he felt just as fulfilled receiving pleasure from him. From them both. 

Desire, I'm hungry. I hope you feed me

As the evening wound down, exhaustion taking them all, Halbrand let his thoughts wander. Wondering if it would be too much to ask for them both now, each time he came.

Like always, it was as though his flower lived in his mind. Answering a question he hadn’t yet asked.

“One or both, we will be at your call.”

How do you want me, how do you want me?

[twothpaste]

15 and 25 😇

15: something you learned this year it's chill to be a little bit repetitive with the phrasing & words you use. i used to stress out a lot over this, always ripping my hair out trying to make sure i didn't use the same Anything twice within the span of a few paragraphs (unless i had a deliberate reason to repeat myself). but like. it's actually fine for dialogue tags to just go "he said x" "y, she said" back and forth for a while. (trying to cram in alternatives like "stated" or "exclaimed" might even come off forced & call more attention to itself). it's also ok to plainly repeat character names a lot. often it's the most straightforward way to make it clear who's doing or saying what, usually better than epithets or roundabout sentence structure. and i've gotten really into writing little segments with a lot of "and"s; there's kind of a natural storytellerly rhythm to it. i still try to keep big, rare, or interesting words on long cooldown periods - but it's nice to chill out and stop fretting over basic stuff like this. though i dread being redundant & yearn for unapologetically maximalist prose, i think i'm learning the sorts of spots where a more utilitarian approach works best.

25: a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read ok so i know my followers are here for mother and not zelda, but i've gotta drop [ 👉 this little twilight princess oneshot ❗ ]. it's one of my favs i've read this year. it's about kid link meeting his newborn baby brother. it's very short, and so fucking sweet, and if you like mother 3 i swear you'll probably enjoy it (even if you haven't played twilight princess or zelda games in general)

[draftingteacups]

I understand that Special Events are non-canon in The Eternal Blooming Flower. But say how would you let Glorious Masquerade play out in your What if?

I love the Glorious Masquerade event, but the way that the event would play out in my What-If goes like this:

The first thing that would happen in this universe is the fact that Soni would definitely look around the City of Flowers and go, "This feels very similar to old Kalosian architecture." Makes sense since the movie was based in Notre Dame, which takes place in France

Obviously, she does a little bit of research into the city before she goes there, mostly because she doesn't want to do a social faux pas in a place that really reminds her too much of Kalos. Either way, Soni looked at the city itself for half a second before she gets dressed in an ensemble that would definitely remind her of her more formal attire as the Grand Duchess of Kalos.

I like the idea of a mixture of dark blue and gold accents with black-purple being the main color of the outfit itself. I feel like Soni wouldn't get a mask (mostly because I can see her just taking it off and not putting it back one because she's not a huge fan of masks in general) and get something like a circlet instead (looks like Xerneas' horns with clear crystals on top of it).

Happiny gets taken along because Deuce can't bear to leave her alone for a few days, which means she gets her own little outfit! A small pink mask with little beads that look like Oval Stones and a small hat that allows her little ponytail to stick up. As much as I would love for Happiny to have a little scarf, it'll definitely drag behind her like a little cape.

I could have Sobble here as well as Morpeko, and they would be wearing something similar to what Azul and Ruggie wear respectively. Obviously, the first half of the day plays out similar to the event itself: invitation, gets shown around the city, and then meeting Rollo makes Soni just feel a little uncomfortable, especially when Rollo himself looked into the students themselves to the point of getting Azul's eye prescription because I'm sure that's looking into someone medical history and I'd be wondering why anyone would do that much and even lightly comments on Soni's lack of information in a roundabout way that set off alarm bells.

Rollo: "When making accommodations for all of you to enjoy yourselves to the fullest, I noticed that Miss Monet has made no additional requests beyond what was stated in the itinerary, despite being the sole magicless person of your group. Do you truly not have anything else to add that you may have forgotten to write down beforehand?"

And even when Soni says that she doesn't, Rollo says, "If anything comes to mind, I do not mind making time to discuss any details with you on anything you wish to say."

Soni finds it weird that he points out that she was magicless when most people outside of NRC didn't know that, but that itself could be chalked up to her shared student status with Grim as a two-in-one student. Also Grim might just say that Soni doesn't have magic from the get-go because "the Great Grim ain't a familiar!"

However, that last bit poked at her the most because it implied that Soni withheld information that she didn't want written down.

Which is exactly what she did, but for the reason of her privacy and safety because people looking into Soni would potentially use it against her. Not to mention, she listed any needed information (i.e. medical, emergency contact, etc.) and the like on the papers themselves, so it's not like she needed more than that for Rollo to see. To imply that she still had more to say when she didn't and that Rollo was subtly pushing for more information about Soni while disguising it as a gesture of goodwill makes Soni think of all the verbal maneuvering that she had to do as Grand Duchess with many businessmen doing the same.

When the dance in the city happens, I like to imagine that Soni is made to come along with the others, awkwardly following along to the steps with Grim just spinning around like he does in the rhythm game. Happiny is being danced with by Riddle and Deuce, bouncing around cheerfully in the process.

That's when Rollo appears with a specific look in his eye when he sees NRC using magic alongside the other magicians:

"When you first came here, magic was truly a baffling mysterious force as a magicless person, was it not?"

Soni looks at the guy, her tone neutral as it could be, "It was, but who am I to tell people on how to live their lives?"

"Does it not trouble you? With how dangerous it is?"

Soni shrugs, "I've dealt with worse."

Then comes the night where all the Crimson Flowers are basically everywhere. Students are falling over because their magic is being drained out of them.

Cue Rollo's big reveal, and suddenly Soni understands why he mentioned that. She very much dislikes the fact that everything looks like it is on fire.

When they all fall downwards, Soni releases Dior and Charlie, the former teleporting everyone within reaching distance to the ground and Charlie snatching as many people as possible.

If we want to do the non-Championship Team, Nimbus, being a large puffy cloud bird, basically released a whole lot of fluff from using Cotton Guard as a cushion. Honestly, the idea that everyone just falling from a huge height, only to flop onto a cloudy-like fluff without having to use any magic was very nice.

When the others have to deal with the Crimson Flowers and pull weeds, Happiny is very enthusiastic about it because Happiny picks wild flowers all the time, so this isn't very different from what she normally does.

Ruggie, yanking Crimson Flowers with dirt flying everywhere: "Put your backs into it!"

Epel veins popping out of his head: "I can pull these weeds faster than you can breathe!"

Happiny, literally pulls off an entire cluster of Crimson Flowers with her bare hands: "Hap Hap!" This is fun!

I imagine that Happiny's given chores in Heartslabyul, and one of them is weeding the garden. It certainly comes in handy now that there's a magic flower that's trying to take people's magic away.

Then comes the plan to storm the tower and ring the Bell of Salvation.

Obviously, everyone's got an entire plan, but Soni goes, "You're all forgetting that I've got no magic. Those flowers can't do anything to me. And from what I've observed, they don't effect Pokemon either."

And what they settled on was for Soni basically leading the charge with her Pokemon taking down as many of the Crimson Flowers as possible. Dior using Psychic to physically pull as many Crimson Flowers away as well as assisting any passerby in the process. Charlie obviously uses his Flamethrower to burn away the Crimson Flowers in larger areas and even provides aerial assistance with Epel when the Crimson Flowers try to capture them both.

And Happiny doing her best to weed as many of the flowers as possible. Obviously, she stays behind with Deuce when he gets hurt and basically starts ripping apart the flowers even more when they start trying to hurt him.

And while it would be more heroic for Soni and the others to try climb the tower like they did in the original game, they could just teleport up to the top with the help of Dior or fly up there with Nimbus and/or with Charlie.

And in the process of catching their breath from the few fights that they engaged with on the way to the top, they stumble into the private area where they find the diary of Rollo.

And of course, they still go up against Rollo in the process, covered in flames and all. Hearing Idia's speech is certainly one that Soni understands the core meaning, but it could've definitely been handled better.

Soni looks at Deuce when seeing Azul use Deuce's UM to punch Rollo: "You did what? When did you do that?"

Deuce: "Back in the main area..."

Soni: "I looked away for five minutes-"

Deuce gestures to his leg: "I wanted to hit him, and Azul offered!"

Soni: "And I would've done it for free. We are talking about this later when we aren't at risk of falling off a tower and being roasted alive."

Malleus dealing the final blow with his lightning magic left the thickest smell of ozone in the air with Soni's arm hairs standing up on end.

And skipping to the song that happens during the party, Soni has her time to dance with the others again, although she's not all that good with it. In the background, Happiny and the other Pokemon are equally enjoying their time together at the party.

Side Notes That I Couldn't Put In:

A comical Pokemon for Soni to bring along in this particular event is her Skiddo because one, it's a little goat and they would see such creatures around. Two, it can eat the Crimson Flowers as a free snack. I cannot confirm whether that the Crimson Flower is fit for Pokemon consumption.

Soni using Kalosian and basically finding little to no difference between French and Kalosian; funnily enough, I like to imagine that Soni manages to get better deals this way from people at stalls because she's getting souvenirs for the others (Ace would complain if he didn't get something; Soni bought him a mug that Milcery uses to sleep in).

And that's the general gist of the Glorious Masquerade event!

[toystore]

Been thinking a lot about my future career lately. I think a lot about the impact TWDG had on my overall life and I want to make something that will mean just as much to others in some capacity — and I will probably need to have an education to accomplish this in the best way possible, but I hope I can learn and train myself even without that. I've never cared much for video games at all, to be honest, but it's shaped an incredible amount of my life and has had a lasting impact on me for over a decade... And I love storytelling and character creation now.

I feel like I'm very inspired by something I love to create something special, too. I love it so much more than I think I could ever get across to anyone, this stupid thing...

I will probably not pass this final year. I was already having a hard time maintaining my attendance with my crumbling mental health at home but I've definitely had less time travelling across the country and being homeless. Even if I have good final grades, I'm probably going to be failed due to absence. I don't know what's next for me after that — not sure how I'm going to finish the last year, the school I was enrolled in was based in another state and I'm not sure if I'll simply be able to repeat another year with it, not if I don't express changing locations... We'll see, is all, but I guess I could see about finishing my education here if it doesn't work (I mean, I should have proof of residency by then).

I will probably need to wait a bit until I even think about college; I was suggested by a friend to wait until I was legally a resident of California, and it's not a large concern right now for me anyway... I just think it'd be good to go sometime, I do want to. I just wish my circumstances weren't so roundabout, lol.

[lexi-the-twilight-dragon]

curious from a neurodivergent point of view: is there any way to get a maps app to STICK to the route I asked it to give me, even if I need to “detour” a little bit?

(context (vent) under the cut)

So if you may be able to tell from my last few reblogs, I haven’t exactly been in the best mood of late, to the point that I can barely tolerate my family’s presence, so I decided to go out. Didn’t matter where, so long as I was out of the house.

except it apparently DID matter where, as I promptly realised I was not in the mindset to be perceived by others. So I just. Drove. Until I was far enough away that I felt some proper solitude. Which was quite a ways away. In an area I’d never been before.

eventually I’d decompressed enough that I felt up to going home, but by then it was getting dark. So not wanting to get completely lost, I brought up my maps app on my phone.

it gave me two routes. One which was shorter and took the freeway, and one that was 5 min longer but avoided the freeway. I hate driving the freeway in broad daylight, let alone the dark, so I picked the latter.

“head south along (road I was on)”

I was facing north, so I had to pull a three-point turn.

“proceed to the route”

okay jeez, I’m getting there.

“Head south along (road I was on)”

*route continues for a bit*

“in 1.4km, use the left lane to merge onto the freeway”

EXCUSE ME?????

so, in doing a 3-point turn, maps had realised I was facing north, attempted to recalibrate, and when I turned south again, RESET TO THE SHORTER ROUTE (the one I SPECIFICALLY did not choose). And of course I didn’t notice bc I was DRIVING and not looking at my phone!

so I proceed to get cross at the app for not acknowledging my choice for all of 60 seconds, and drive past the freeway to take the next available route home.

“Use the left lane to merge onto the freeway”

No.

“Use the right lane to perform a u-turn” (this is illegal btw)

No!

“perform a u-turn”

No!!!

“perform a u-turn”

NO!!!!!

(I have never screamed at my phone before, but as stated I was already having a bad time, and the fact that a simple request was ignored after a single minute was more than I could tolerate)

“use the roundabout to perform a u-turn”

(I am now in an area I know, so I know this route is valid and makes more sense than pulling a fucking u-turn)

“turn left onto (side road that will inevitably be redirected back toward the freeway)”

“turn right onto (side road that will inevitably be redirected back toward the freeway)”

At which point I pulled over into a bus stop (no idea if THAT was legal, but at this point I didn’t care) and turned the fucking thing off

So yeah, any way I can stop my maps app from assuming shortest=better?

if you’ll excuse me, I need to go shut myself in my bedroom for three days to recuperate