#But I'll read it this time god willing. I was in work the other day just thinking about earthsea and dragons and far off fantastical lands

[kijagf]

why is the tombs of atuan the most beautiful and most awesome book to have ever been written

[marcsburnerphone]

And they were roommates

(Captain John price x F!reader)

Summary: that captain wants somewhere more homely to settle down and when an offer like yours comes alight on Zillow he must take up on it.

Warnings: some awkward moments but nothing crazy.

part 1 - Part two!!! - part 3 - part 4

—————-

You indeed did not see John price the next morning but what you did see was a handwritten note stuck to the fridge beneath a magnet.

“Good morning, as I mentioned my job is demanding. I’m not sure how long I'll be gone for but I can estimate at least a month. If you need me, my phone number is below along with my check for this month's rent and the next. - John price”

You reach for the envelope that is attached behind the note and pull it open and what the fuck. You knew he had to have money but in what world would someone pay this much rent for a house with a roommate? You immediately grab your own checkbook and write him for the amount that’s overpaid, making a mental note to make sure you give it to him.

————

Weeks pass slowly and life goes on as it did before. The only difference is you're no longer struggling to make ends meet. So to celebrate your success you order that 6 foot canvas you’d been wanting for ages and a new oil paint.

When you got the notification that it had arrived, thank god for two day shipping, you squealed and ran to grab it before the mailman even walked away. He offered to help you as he watched you give it a bear hug and waddle it through your door yelling out a meek ‘no Thankyou’. You dragged it down the hallway and into the sunroom resting it up against the wall. Ripping the clear plastic film off of new canvases comes in third place to the best things in life.

Sitting in the sun that evening you stroke deep blue oil paints that try their best to replicate ocean waters, and white specks that wish they could induce the same feelings stars do.

You’ve been at this same painting for 3 weeks, coming home and straight to it. Now that it’s finally done it sits sunbathing till it dries. You still visit it and admire its larger than life beauty.

John’s been gone for 1 month and 3 weeks now and in that time some problems have arisen, 1. The faucet in the kitchen leaks and below it the pipe also leaks and the only plumber that’s willing to drive out to your house and inspect it says he won’t be available for another week which means the water bill will sky rocketing till then. And 2. you have no idea where the huge painting will go.

You walk around wondering where to place it. You thought maybe the living room, or even in your room but after testing both those places it still didn’t look right. You can only think of one other place which is the hallway to John’s room. Of course that spot is perfect, maybe he wouldn’t notice since he only spent one night here. You grabbed the drill and got to work mounting it immediately. Once all was said and done you gave it a once over, smiled, snapped a picture of it to send to your sister and walked away.

———

John arrived back exactly at the two month mark early in the AM. He opened the house door as quietly as possible and removed his boots by the door to avoid the creaking wood of the floor and continued sluggishly hauling his bag to his room. Being the man he is, he notices everything, those watchful eyes of his never miss a detail so he does indeed notice and take a second to admire the newly found painting hung in front of his bedroom door before unlocking it to set his stuff down.

After a much needed and appreciated shower he reads the clock at 7AM thinking he can sleep for a little, that is of course until he hears a knock at the door. Making his way down the hall he peeps through the window and sees a handyman?

“Good morning sir, how can I help you?” He says opening the door.

“Good morning, your wife called for a leaking pipe, told her I’d come by sometime today.” He looks down the hall towards your room and confirms the fact that you're definitely still very well asleep.

“My wife? Oh yes my wife, that lady I could’ve sworn I told her to cancel this appointment we actually got it all sorted out.” He lies like it's second nature.

“I actually charge a late cancellation fee that must be paid upfront.” He inquires slightly annoyed.

“How much?” John replies feeling sorry for this man that drove out here and is now being sent away.

“100$ flat.” John shuts the door and quickly fetches his wallet from the pocket of his cargo pants and returns with two bills one for the inconvenience and sends the man on his way.

Sleep can wait.

—————

You wake up to the sound of clanking in the kitchen and as a woman that technically lives alone in the middle of the forest you're terrified.

Grabbing the bat beside your bed still fully dressed in the least threatening attire, you tiptoe to the source of the noise and breathe out the strongest sigh of relief ever known to man.

“Jesus Christ John you scared me, what’re you doing?” You loudly admit startling him in return.

“Fixing this pipe that you called an overpriced handyman for.” You stare at him subconsciously admiring the way he looks, slightly disheveled, face screwed in concentration and strong hands twisting the wrench in his hand and let’s not mention the rise of his shirt.

“You okay?” He says removing himself from under the sink leaning back on his knees to stare up at you.

“Yeah, yes I’m so sorry, um so where did the handy man go?” He stands with a grunt and leans his back against the counter.

“On his merry way.” He replies, turning around to turn the faucet on checking if it leaks, then off to see if it still drips and as he expects, it does neither.

“How much do I owe you for the late cancellation fee?” That man has handled your plumbing issues before and you’ve definitely canceled late more than once.

“Technically you didn’t cancel on him, I did so don’t worry.” He says picking his tools up off the ground placing them messily into the tool box.

“Well Thank You.” You say awkwardly.

“Of course.” He smiles making the dimples beneath his beard awfully noticeable.

“Oh and by the way your rent is only two thousand five hundred a month.” You say walking to the kitchen drawer beside him and pulling out a check that’s already filled out and handing it to him.

“Utilities included?” He asks, grabbing the check written out for three thousand and also taking in notice that same scent that clung to those sheets you made his bed with weeks ago as you sweep by.

“Yeah I don’t mind paying more cause I mean look around, this place has my style written all over it which makes it feel more like mine than yours.” He looks baffled at your reasoning.

“I actually like the decorations, not sure I’d change a thing about it.” You laugh at what has to be a lie.

“I doubt it.” You chuckle and slightly blush at his kindness.

“No I'm serious, I especially love that painting in the hallway, where’d you get it?” You seem surprised at the mention of it and even more flattered at the compliment.

“I actually painted it.” He gives you a surprised look.

“See you’re even hand painting the art, please I can afford much more than twenty five hundred.” You act like you're considering it for a moment.

“As much as I’d appreciate it, I'm already grateful for what you pay.” You say truthfully.

“Also, welcome home.” You quip before turning around walking back towards your room to get ready for the day

—————

John’s been home for nearly two weeks now and he’s slightly growing on you and you on him. You co-exist in harmony most times. That doesn’t mean the two of you still don’t clash from time to time.

“Good morning.” He says scrambling eggs in a pan as you walk into the kitchen reaching in the cabinet for a coffee mug.

“Morning to you too.” You say groggily, setting your feet flat on the ground and placing the cup on the counter, reaching for the pot to pour some coffee.

“If I can just- oh I’m so sorry.” He says accidentally bumping into you making the coffee spill on the counter.

“Oh no don’t worry about it, I can just clean it.” You say turning around quickly to go grab paper towels and end up accidentally running into his chest.

He grabs your shoulders to hold you in place and let your brain catch up with the speed of events.

“We will learn to both be in the kitchen together someday.” You affirm with a laugh that makes you feel alive.

“Hey the first week this happened almost everyday. If anything this is a huge improvement.” He jokingly abides.

“True.” You say as he turns around handing you the kitchen towel to clean it up. He watches you with amused eyes and a smile that still hasn’t left either of your faces and for a second something alights in John something that scares him so bad he doesn’t hear a thing you’re saying.

“John, I said did you sleep well?” You speak a bit louder, snapping him out of it.

“Yeah darling sorry I’m just going to take this to my office. I've got some work to cover.” He says hurriedly plating his food and scurrying off.

“Okay well I’ll be heading to work soon.” He doesn’t even let you finish before closing the door leaving you to stand there a little stumped.

“So I’ll assume he didn’t sleep well.” You say to yourself before pouring another cup and heading to your room to get changed.

——————

Comments and reposts are appreciated <3

@beebeechaos

@ttsbaby01

@arminarlertssword

@quakeroaksguy

@waves-against-a-cliff

@depressed-but-make-it-cute

[the-fab-fox]

These two images state my reason for the updated GoFundMe campaign. As an explanation for everyone, since not everyone can read images, I was informed that I would not be able to work for Doordash in order to make ends meet during my medical leave.

I am in need of this money for rent and car note most! Any extra will go towards any groceries/necessities I've been unable to get from other resources when needed. But ultimately, you all are keeping a roof over my head as well as my car in my possession so that I can actually get back to work once the leave is over.

So basically, for car note and rent alone, I'll need 675 and 750 for my rent for January and my car note for this month and next month (so 375 x2).

So if y'all can help with that, please consider giving toward my GoFundMe campaign which can be found here (or on the link below).

You can also donate via my PayPal if you would rather not go through GoFundMe (as it can take several days for the donations to hit whereas PayPal is immediate). My PayPal is eriklovescats@gmail.com. [Just advice that it is towards my GoFundMe so that I can manually enter your donation.]

Thank y'all so much for your time and help. It absolutely means the world to me and the donations I've already received have continued to keep me alive and surviving. For that I appreciate it so very much.

Sending epic awesome vibes for the rest of your year and setting the intention that life gives y'all everything you need to thrive in life! Asking my gods for help in manifesting these intentions. So mote it be! 🙏💖🙏💖🙏💖

Finley's GoFundMe Campaign

If you are unable to help financially, I beg that you reblog this for me if you are willing to that others who can help monetarily can find it. Thank you!

[omgshiftercat]

I have a friend whose ex, a minor celebrity in some circles, was abusive.

Shortly after she and some other women went public about it, there were some people who chimed in talking about other misdeeds of his.

Her ex was, and is, a loathsome waste of oxygen, and the words, "...who deserves every accusation leveled at him" would almost escape my lips...

...Except that some of the accusations people began throwing around because they (understandably) hated this guy weren't true.

This did not help my friend at all! It muddied the waters, and gave her awful ex ammunition for his claims that people were just out to get him, and were willing to make stuff up to smear him.

Switching gears: there's been a lot of discussion recently about how some brilliant and influential art has been created by objectively terrible people. Part of that discussion has been calling out people who say, "Their work always sucked," or "I never liked it." Not only are statements like this unhelpful, they provide cover for predators. If you insist that your tastes reflect your morality, you're giving yourself a huge blind spot, and making it easy to dismiss evidence of harm done by creators you happen to like.

This is one reason why I think exhibits like this one are important: they help teach that lesson.

Three notes on this: 1. by the time of that exhibition, Gill was long dead and therefore unable to profit from it.

2. This kind of thing isn't necessary for every artist, because not every creator does heinous things.

3. My friend's ex is nowhere near the artistic league of Eric Gill or any of the other creators I'll discuss.

Switching gears again...

If someone mentions a bespectacled British boy wizard with an owl familiar, in a modern setting with "secret world" magic, the name that springs to mind is most likely "Harry Potter", right?

But Timothy Hunter, from The Books of Magic, was published a full seven years before that. I was working in a bookstore when the novelizations for the BoM comics came out, and had to tell kids that no, this was not a HP rip-off.

I don't think the reverse was true, either: for one thing, The Books of Magic is set in the DC Universe, and I've never heard of JKR reading superhero comics. But also... sometimes completely separate creators will come up with strikingly similar ideas, utterly by coincidence. It's one reason why most authors tell fans NOT to send them ideas or fanfiction based on their work: there is rarely any good way to prove that you didn't steal a concept.

Now, obviously every creator is influenced by other people's works, and I completely agree that it's good to acknowledge that and to point fans towards your influences!

When Rowling began channeling her resources into making life worse for trans folk, I saw a lot of people saying, "Well, Harry Potter was just a mediocre rip-off of The Worst Witch anyway."

While I haven't read that series, I strongly doubt this claim. The idea of magic schools is older and more widespread than either of those series, and "British boarding school hijinks, but it's a magic school" was bound to be written more than once.

Now, some of you already know, and others have looked up, who originally wrote Tim Hunter. And... yeah, it's Neil Gaiman. *sigh*

In the last few days, I've seen some people saying, "The Sandman ripped off Tanith Lee's Tales from the Flat Earth." They cite a number of similarities: Azhrarn, the Lord of Darkness, is a pale-skinned, raven-haired Byronic figure with a sibling-like relationship to the Lord of Death and the Lord of Madness. Like the Endless, these beings are god-like, but specifically not gods. Apparently some people have mistaken fanart of Azhrarn for Morpheus. And Chuz, Prince Madness, has a bisected appearance, half his face horribly messed up, like the demoness Mazikeen.

But speaking as someone who was a fan of the late Tanith Lee years before I picked up an issue of The Sandman: I don't believe the latter was stolen from the former. Are there similarities? Yes, but they're superficial. If you've read both series, as I have, you'll know that the stories, settings, and characters are very different!

It's possible Gaiman was influenced by Lee's writing, and if so, I agree he should have acknowledged that. He did promote the work of other female creators, which is one reason why many of us thought he was "one of the good ones". But it's also entirely possible that these two authors independently came up with similar ideas.

When it comes right down to it, I think that statements like this -- "their best work was just a rip-off of something else" -- are just another variant of "their work always sucked".

It's often an easier accusation than "they've always been crap", because, as I said, writers come up with strikingly similar concepts all the time, and it's very hard to prove you didn't steal an idea. But it has the same problems, so -- barring the kind of case you could make with a college-level plagiarism-catching program -- I think it's best avoided.

Now, telling people, "Hey, are you sad about this creator turning out to be an awful person to whom you don't want to give any more money? Try this other person's work instead!" This is good! Let's have more of it!

Addendum 1: I think "separate the art from the artist" should mean, "you don't have to treat books already on your shelf as if they're suddenly coated in poison", not "I'm going to ignore this creator's actions and keep buying their products anyway."

Addendum 2: I just posted a version of this to Bluesky.

[heylorrain]

TW: All of them. Mainly Infertility issues.

The damaged one from Lorrain to Ominis

I feel at a trial, my nails digging on my knees.  waiting for your harsh and inevitable verdict. before I rot in your oblivion.  I can feel our thin red thread fraying. As I wait for your response,  for the first time, I can’t read you. It 's already dusk. Your silence speaks volumes.  And Gods, I don’t blame you,  How could I ever?  I’m a broken woman, if that’s even what I am. Forgive me for being this way, for in every lifetime I'll waste your gift. I wish I could carry, hug, kiss, the fruit of our love. I’m sure they would have had your eyes, those two precious stars I’d always loved. I wish I wasn’t broken.  I wish I could’ve been normal.  But I’m not.  I feel your longing for fatherhood.  I wish I could give it to you.  To grant your yearning, I really wish I could. I hate myself for not being able to.  Around us, families are growing,  Their legacies expanding,  We are the consenting uncle and aunt But that’s all we are.  That’s all I will ever be, I’ve poisoned my body in silence,  Trying twisted ways to give you  what you cry in secret. But nothing has worked.  I wish my womb could be a home,  even if it’s just one time,  One chance is all I dream of.  But I know it won’t happen.  I feel at a trial, my nails digging on the table.  waiting for your answer.  Out of all your options, why did you choose me? The broken one,  The damaged one.

From Dusk to Dawn from Ominis to Meva Lorra.

I feel you distant,  What has made you think you can only tell me your sorrows when you’re at your breaking point? I’m in disbelief, not because of the news I’ve long known but because you’ve carried them alone What made you think I wouldn’t be willing to carry them with you? It 's already dusk. I can hear your teeth grinding,  your foot stomping repeatedly on our floor What made you think I’ll agree to what you’re asking me? Between you, and the rest of the world,  I’ll always choose you, whatever that path is, wherever it leads,  before anything and anyone, there’s always you.  I feel your head turn every time we pass crowds,  your eyes landing on the little ones,  running and laughing, and I might be blind but, What made you think I cannot see through you?  There’s nothing to be fixed,  because there’s nothing broken,  What made you think that women  are only the ones who bring life into this world? I feel your longing for motherhood, I know you’ve felt mine as well. But I do not wish it if it’s not with you. I beg you, don’t feel like an intruder when we’re around others.  I feel you sinking, your light disappearing.  We are the consenting aunt and uncle,  and I’m fine being just that, with you. We could travel the world, alone together and have that bothy in the woods you’ve always wanted. Stay out late waiting for the mooncalf to do their dance,  and don’t do the dishes ‘till Monday. Fine, I’ll let you teach me how to ride a broom,  only if you let me teach you how to cook. I crumble at night because of what you’re doing to yourself, your body doesn’t deserve nothing but cherish and love, your entire being is sacred and ethereal to me,  What made you think I’ll want to change anything from it?  I’ll walk by your side, every step of the way,  If you stop, I’ll squeeze your hand and wait for whenever you’re ready If you lay down, I’ll lay down next to you and humm that melody you enjoy so much. I’m not moving, even if it rains or snows inside you,  because your hands are mine to hold,  your lips are mine to kiss,  your body,YOU, the only delight in this world I crave all day everyday.  I feel like you’re gone, spiraling down your thoughts,  come back to me, please,  There’s nothing to choose from, it has always been You. The kind woman,  The lovin woman.  I'll be with you, every dusk and every dawn of our lifes I'll hold you when things go wrong I'm right here.

Reference from sketches on my pinterest as always

[erinwantstowrite]

Let me just quickly say, cross-overs can sometimes get REALLY difficult to map out and write in a cohesive way but you have absolutely NAILED IT!! I absolutely ADORE LoF!!! I usually don’t even bother reading fics with the ‘Richard Grayson is Richard Parker’ premise cause I felt like they were super confusing and overcomplicated but this fic?? SUPERB. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD I ADORE IT. Everyone’s characterizations are so nice and wonderful aaaaaaah!!!! <33333

Ok ok I did actually have a question as well: would you be willing to share what your writing process looks like in terms of a chapter you’ve already posted? I was just wondering since I’m also currently working on my own fic (it’s been a few years but I managed to get fixated on an idea and it grew legs lol) and I’m currently fighting the organization of it haha.

How do you keep track of the plot points and/or foreshadowing you want to get a ‘lightbulb!’ moment for later? Do you have any tips?

Thank you so much! I absolutely adore your writing AND your art is so gorgeous omg it adds so much to the incredible story :DDD I hope you have a good day!!

I have a secret: I actually didn't like "Richard Grayson is Richard Parker' tag for a while for the same reason. Sometimes they felt like they missed the mark or it's just. A thing that's there? I almost didn't include it for LoF, but I'm glad I did because it changed the direction in such a big way.

Another secret: this made me incredibly happy because I have read so many wikis and scoured the internet to make sure that I had enough info on both fandoms so LoF could make sense to anyone who's reading it, whether they know Spider-Man, Batfam, or neither at all. Sometimes I worry a lot before I post that I'll miss a mark and will confuse people.

As for the question: I definitely am willing to share what my writing process looks like!

Be prepared for under the cut, I love to yap. It's in my blood to yap. And that's why it took a minute to get to this ask haha

(Spoilers for Leap of Faith!! Everything mentioned has already been published ((Chapters 1-11))

I had to go and find out which chapter I wanted to use as an example and I think we're gonna go with Chapter 5 for the most part :)

My writing process is, as described by alighterwood:

I think the description fits because while I'm all over the place, I have to be very detail oriented and I store everything in one spot.

Starting with the overall process, what I find is most helpful for me, when organizing, is having a notebook rather than doing it all digitally. I've been using a 70 sheet notebook that I had lying around waiting to be used, and as of yesterday, I officially filled the entire thing front to back. It's been an incredible help, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it's a lot easier to remember something I physically wrote down than it is to remember something I typed. I'm now on to my second notebook for LoF, and I might even have to get a third.

In another ask, startupkat asked me this:

And I shared a little about my outline process there, but I'll try to go into a little more depth here. Emphasis on little because this is so long.

I write a truly insane amount of outlines in this notebook.

This is just what I can show you, but a good chunk of the notebook is just outlines. Over and over and over again. That's because they're always changing/adapting based on so many different factors. Sometimes I get to a chapter I thought I had fully planned out and then realize it just doesn't work anymore. Other times, I get to the chapter and realize I don't want to write that anymore/isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. A few times I got halfway through a POV of a scene I was struggling on and decided to switch POV's, which will change up the outline for a chapter every now and then.

Which is why I don't write incredibly detailed outlines and try to keep it vague until I actually get to that chapter. It's a lot less daunting to rewrite a chapter outline than it is to rewrite the entire outline.

Fic outlines and Chapter outlines look a lot alike.

This is what I said in the other ask, but I didn't elaborate on it all the way.

I make a list just like that, and then I try to put it in chronological order/in an order that makes sense. I keep the Fic outline vague by writing down "Goals" for a chapter rather than scenes. But I also keep notes to myself if I really think something is important. The more important I think a scene needs to be, the more details I write down to make sure my future self recalls what I had in mind when I thought it up.

Really simple example:

Chap 1 Goal: Peter gets to Gotham and meets Babs while running around. Meet Nightwing too? Get shelter.

Chapter 2 Goal: Bats are like "???" about Peter. Batfam dynamic important... Peter stalking Batfam back? Peter meet Batman >:)

When I get to a chapter, that's when I make a far more detailed list of wants/needs/goals. It's the Step 2 from the Step 1. Here are some examples from Chapter 5:

Needed to have:

More POV's from universe 1299 (Peter's home universe)

Tony's POV more specifically, how he's doing/feeling, what he's figured out

What they've figured out on 1299 side vs what's going on in 1300 (Gotham)

Explaining more about Peter's trauma/his past

Dick learning more about Peter, and vise versa

Wanted to have:

Ned being a more central character

Natasha :)

Loki being a little shit

Tony and Cap bickering

Peter talking to Nightwing again

The last name Grayson

Gymnastics!!

(This is the shortened list, because the chapters are so long)

When I looked at this list before writing my outline, I had to figure out how I could incorporate everything. If I needed more 1299 POV's, and I wanted Ned, Natasha, and Loki, there's one scene accounted for. I had to get their side of things and wanted that trio together. I needed a Tony POV, and I wanted Tony and Cap bickering, so those went together, plus I got 1299's POV of Ohnn and his plans explained.

I needed to have Peter explaining more about his trauma, and Dick and Peter to talk/get closer. I wanted a Nightwing POV, to have Peter say his last name, and them doing gymnastics. I knew Peter wouldn't willingly talk about that, so I had him have a nightmare. Not only did it give readers perspective but it made Peter more susceptible to talking to Nightwing because he was more emotionally vulnerable/lonely, and that's how that scene came together.

That's when I would write down the chronological order of these events by writing out "Scene Blocks." (This is what I wrote down but my handwriting was so bad I can't subject y'all to it):

scene 1- Ned talking to Loki. Natasha should be nearby and observing Loki's behavior. They are not on friendly terms. Ned is more worried about Peter than he is as to what Loki could be up to, so Natasha takes on that role.

scene 2- Tony is freaking out about Peter being in an alt dimension. He should attack Ohnn when he's not prepared for it. Beat his ass? Beat his ass. Cap there too.

scene 3- Peter's nightmare. "Ben, where do you go when you die?" "Where do you think?" "With you. Where you went."

scene 4- Nightwing and Peter.

Of course, things come to attention when writing. Like originally, Tony and Cap were arguing in the Tower. But it was a little too much like his and Natasha's argument, and I kept in mind that Tony is smart. Sometimes I forget that the characters are smarter than I am, so I have to account for what they would figure out. So Tony would have picked up the puzzle pieces and come to more conclusions than I originally thought about, and I figured he'd be way more proactive about it than just. Being in the Tower and waiting.

Which means that that scene ended up being as listed above: having a squabble with Cap, learning more about Peter's dynamic with the Avengers in this universe, and seeing how Tony is reacting to it by throwing himself head first into trying to capture Ohnn.

I'll realize I need something else to be mentioned or put in and I'll have to shimmy things around, but that's basically how it goes.

As for other forms of organization:

Keeping a timeline is so important because it tells you a lot about the environment your characters are in. It's also important to remember what a character has on them, what money they've spent, who they've met/who you have mentioned, every alias that is being used, to read your work and write down edits you want to make before you make them, to write down ideas beforehand of situations you can use, and, most importantly: MAKE A MAP!! This has saved me so many times. Sometimes your brain WILL trick you or make it harder on you to envision a scene. Make a map of where your characters are physically!! It will save you too!!

As for foreshadowing and plot points, I'll let you in on yet another secret:

Your subconscious is doing a lot more than you think it is.

Sometimes when I foreshadow something, I didn't even know I was until I got to it. I very often go back to read chapters that came before this to see what I've mentioned and what I haven't, and when I do, I'll see something and go "I have to bring this back" or "I almost forgot about that!"

Other times, I am very aware of what I'm foreshadowing, and that's because I follow a mystery plot formula. You have to keep in mind everyone's intentions, all the time. How are they feeling? What are their motivations? And: what are they doing right now, while this character is doing this?

Like Beck and Ohnn. From the very beginning, I knew I had to make sure that it was obvious Ohnn wasn't working alone. From there, I had to weave through the story and slowly build him up as someone who's working behind the scenes. Even from Ned's first POV, I made sure to mention that this person knows Tony and is tech savvy.

My biggest tip is to make sure you reread your work or at least skip through it, because sometimes you don't even know that you placed something there.

And sometimes, it's very purposeful. :)

I hope this helped! I really tried to keep it short but I am insane and the process is sooooo long. It sounds complicated but it really is simple when you're actually doing it I swear

[forgettable-au]

How did you envision 'slipping through my fingers' to work with Forgettable?? I LOVE LOVE LOVE that song and when i make the animatic thing of it I REALLY wanna do it justice

I might start rambling about this so I'll add a keep reading lol

OKAY SO I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT SONG FOR THIS AU FOR SOOOOOO LONG

Gonna use this as my chance to talk about it lol

Okay so, it's definitely from Sans POV!

The very first part could be about leaving for work, Wingdings is probably working from very early in the morning! Sans takes it more easy

and like "The feeling that I'm losing her forever. And without really entering her world" OH MY GOD THAT PART

IT WORKS SO WELL

He actually is losing him forever soon

Sans still doesn't fully understand what Wingdings thinks, which must be frustrating

"Slipping through my finger all the time" OUGHHH HE IS SLIPPING THROUGH HIS FINGERS

AND THEN "each time I think I'm close to knowing. She keeps on growing" Sans might think he's close to comprehending things, but Wingdings keeps changing and surprising him and it's at a faster pace everytime (until he's changed so much he's like a different person...and also at some point he becomes Papyrus, that also happens)

YOU GUYS HAVE TO UNDERSTAND,,, THEY'RE THE SAME AGE BUT SANS REALLY DOES SEE WINGDINGS AS HIS YOUNGER BROTHER,,,

I mean, he's always been taking care of him, helping him communicate, sticking with him through school, college, the lab

The fact that Dings is so far away from his grasp/understanding is AUGH

Why did I make this AU so self-indulgent, it is SO angsty in just the way that hits me hard LMAO Idk as someone with a little sibling, brother!Gaster hurts me more than father!Gaster

You've heard about monsters getting a sense of deja vu when seeing the human

Now ...what about Sans getting a sense of premonition about what's gonna happen?

This part would definitely be about their wish to be on the surface someday and all the other dreams they had

Some of them they did (getting that job at the lab), but most they didn't (seeing the real stars)

I envision this part as the last happy thing that happened before the incident! A little group photo! Wish you could freeze the picture? Wish things could stay this way forever? WELL, I'M SORRY BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

Time is about to play a very silly game! (also this is so fitting with Gaster doing weird time things, maybe he is the funny tricks of time)

I obviously can't say what the incident is or how it plays out... because... that would be a huge spoiler... to the people reading this, you'll need to use your imagination!

Then there's the whole guitar part! Love that part! I imagine in the animatic I'm gonna make about this someday that there will be a shot of Sans' arm trying to reach one last time... sigh... The day I finally make this animatic it will be amazing...

But I really can't rn because spoilers! THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU GUYS CAN'T TRY TO DO ONE I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THAT

Then we can have two, or more idk

OKAY! That last part of the song mirrors the first part of the song!

But this time!!!!! IT'S PAPYRUS!!! Leaving early In the morning for royal guard duties :D gotta calibrate those puzzles early!

AND THAT'S IT!!!!! obviously avoiding spoilers! but OH MY GOD

I SWEAR THIS SONG WAS ONE OF THE SONG THAT INSPIRED ME TO MAKE THIS AN ACTUAL COMIC BECAUSE I NEEDED TO MAKE THAT ANIMATIC AND FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND UJFIEF

What a girl is willing to do just so people can understand her silly angst animatic c: a whole comic

[enjoythesilentworld]

2024 fandom review!

thank u for the tag @willesredlights sorry it took me literally ages to get to it

lets pretend we're not almost two weeks into the new year ok? and what a year it has been. holy shit.

~ Fics written ~

I'll be honest I did go a little batshit crazy this past year. 314k words across 19 published works, plus god knows how much more unpublished on tumblr. listen, I was deep in the ??? phase of my master's (still am, lets be honest) and desperately looking for a new creative outlet. I've always been a writer, always loved dreaming up stories, but I have never quite connected to a universe as much as I have to this one. I resonate with so many of the characters, and i just feel like there is so much room to play and explore. i will continue to add in old people OCs to my fics wherever and whenever i get the chance.

First fic: for the tree's sake (M, 48k) aka tree boys inspired by the trip that eventually led to my discover of young royals in late '23, and my darling baby. yes, that airplane ride that seems weird and random is based on truth!

Fav fic: just if for a minute (T, 53k) aka fake married idiots i greatly enjoyed making Wille suffer for just under 53k. that confrontation scene took days off my life and yet i am so proud of how it turned out.

Honorary mention to Growing towards the light, which was a dream to work on and create with my dear sweet friend Lia. there is one braincell between the two of us and it's full of nature facts and dick jokes. and beautiful stories about getting lost in the wilderness and finding yourself along the way. and tent-dick jokes.

Last fic: Wille på Hyllan (T, 13k) aka christmas shenanigans! another collab with my dearest friends which was hilarious to write and so silly and imo an example of one of the greatest perks of being in a fandom: meeting some of the most incredible people ever. also, dick-lights and dick-tomtar and dick-cookies. what more could you want?

~ Fics Read ~

if i tried to go through my history and tell you how many fics i read this year i would never make this post. i'd be here counting and trying to copy links forever. i read hundreds of fics. i enjoyed all of them, thoroughly. i got a lot better at leaving comments (sometimes). i was consistently and repeatedly blown away by the genius brains we have in this little Swedish corner of the internet.

if you are a writer i love you and i give u a kiss on the forehead.

also: i recently made a lil rec list here.

~ Other Stuff? ~

i had two big, busy months this year. three? : May, Wille's month & July, Simon's month i cannot believe i wrote 62 stories in 62 different universes (give or take a few). that's kind of stupid! but oh my god it was so fun!! some of my favs: -> Food, where Wille and Simon meet and embark on a mistakenly booked couples food tour in Barcelona -> Fashion/Style, aka the Met Gala AU aka the thing that turned into something so much bigger than i could have ever imagined. literally i thought people were gonna hate it. so, thank u for not hating it. and for letting it become 15k+ of pwp. -> Secret, friends to lovers RAHHHHHH -> Home (Improvement), aka grumpy home renovator Simon idk i just feel like this should become a full-blown fic one day

and oh boy who can forget about Kinktober from wax kinks in 17th century Italy to desperate love confession in the middle of wildfires to... whatever that was in the confessional (idk, that's between them and God).

2024...

I did some painting: x x I wrote some real weird lil ficlets: x x and I met dozens of incredible people. thank u for liking my stupid rambling posts from 3am and my silly little ficlets and for reading my stories and telling me about your stories and saving me from the Frankfurt airport and yelling with me about stuff thats definitely not in the Bible and sharing your time and space and art and care.

@bigalockwood @hergrandplan @gulliblelemon @saynomorefic @pagegirlintraining @skibasyndrome @sobadbad @impossibleknots @piebingo @theaviatorthatcouldnotfly @misfithive @sillylittleflower @zee-has-commitment-issues @purplehoodiesandclementines @justfriendsbestthings

giving u a big hug. and! this is by no means an exhaustive list. if ur reading this we are bffs. send me a message ok? ok. y'all keep me sane and happy and i am so grateful for you! live love wilmon

[queerprayers]

Hello Johanna :), sorry to drop something so negative into your inbox, but I was wondering if you'd have any wisdom or insight to share about how to square God's love with a disabling condition I have which is over time becoming more and more disabling, and taking away the things I love and which filled me with life when I was able. I lean on God so much, but I am finding it difficult to feel loved (and loving) when everything is taken. I was an athletic person, that was taken away, I loved to read all day and watch films - I am now unable to focus my eyes on a book or screen for more than 10 minutes at a time and rely almost entirely on text to speech. Even typing this out hurts. Life hurts right now, I know God's love is here, always, but I don't know where to find it when I struggle to see, struggle to walk, am stuck in an extremely small and limited life. I can't help feeling that I would be a much better Christian if I could see without struggle and pain, could read more, watch 2 hour films again, if I could walk and run in nature like I loved to do. I could help people with my body and my mind. I feel like an empty cup for the world and for God. Anything you throw at this I would love to receive

Hello beloved, I'm doing my best to keep this succinct for your sake, but this is not one of my strengths, for which I apologize. I do live with disability, but I don't pretend to understand your experience and if I say something you don't connect with or doesn't reflect your life, I hope you'll forgive me. Thank you for using some of your precious energy to reach out to me—I'll try to make it worth it.

No apologies for negativity. This is honesty. Personally I hate unearned positivity. Your pain is real, and I know what it is to lose the ability to do something beautiful or important or even just not boring. I want to give you hope, not optimism without substance.

The reality is, the ways we serve God have to change. Money, time, energy, broken relationships, aging, illness, disability—our lives are impermanent and fragile, and we cannot depend on any of it. Once we think we've figured it out, the tables turn. The minute I think I get it, that I am living out what I believe, something always happens. The things you mentioned have been ways you've given the world such beautiful gifts, and sooner than most, you are losing some of them. In my care for my neighbor and my grandparents, I see how frustrating and embarrassing it is to need help with things that used to be easy. How limiting it is to have to find a different, more achievable hobby. But such is the way of a moving, mortal life.

I'm so glad you know that God's love is present and something to lean on. The ways you honored God with your action were manifestations of that love—but the story cannot stop there. God willing, most of us will live long enough to be disabled. If action were the only to honor God, we would be instructed to denounce those without it. We may as well die young. And of course there are Christians (and many others) who have treated disabled people like this. But Jesus directly answered a question put to him (for a change) to tell us that no one sinned for a man to be born blind—there is no straying or lack of serving God or punishment in disability, whether in our ancestors or us. Rather, the works of God are displayed in him. (Yes, there's a whole lot more to the chapter, but I'm only going to make this point instead of a hundred.)

You say you could be "a much better Christian"—it is true that the good Christian you imagine, the one you used to be, the one you would be if only things were different, is not someone you can be right now. If I had more money, I would give more to others. If I had less fatigue, I could be more politically active like I used to be. Maybe I could have been a musician, without my chronic pain. If my grandfather had not developed Alzheimers, he could have preached a decade longer. There are so many ways we could be the good Christians we imagine in our head—but they aren't real. We live in this world, not one with no limitations. We would all be much better people if we never got a headache or never had to worry about paying rent or never experienced trauma. Some things we can change, by putting in the work in our personal lives or in our community to bring about more justice and health—but our world is not something to be fixed. It is somewhere to live, trusting that God has a future for us, one where "mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away."

So, we cannot be the Christians we imagine in our heads, if only the world had not happened to us. The question then is, what Christians will we be? In our small lives, with our limitations, when things are taken from us, when our cups are empty. It's easy to be generous when we have too much, but Jesus said blessed are the poor. It's easy to protect others when we are strong and in control, but Jesus said blessed are the meek. It's easy to ignore suffering when we are not affected, but Jesus said blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. What kind of Christians will we be, with what we are given? Meek ones, hungry ones, poor ones. God's grace can only pour into empty cups. God's power is made perfect in weakness.

I just read the first chapter of God Hunger (by John Kirvan), which was on Longing through the words of C.S. Lewis. Lewis says that "This hunger is better than any other fullness; this poverty better than all other wealth." It is better to long for God than to be satisfied with the world. Which does not make it hurt less, only makes it holy. And If this is not enough for you right now, know that you do not have to walk the road alone. 

Moses could not speak as he was called to, so Aaron spoke for him. We can't do everything, nor can we do it alone. And what you still have, no matter if it is small, is what you were given to give back to the world. If it is rest today, so be it. Asking for me to throw my words at this may have been all you had that day. And our small connection, your willingness to ask for help, my thoughts (if there's even a shred of usefulness in them), glorify God.

For everything there is a season. In my church, our prayers ask that those who need help may have "understanding helpers and the willingness to accept help." This always strikes me. God is glorified when we help, but also when we accept help. Without the beloved, there is no love. I desperately hope you have understanding helpers, with time and energy for you. But you are also part of those good works—accepting care with grace.

Paul tells us that just as the body has many parts and yet is one body, so it is with Christ. That we were all baptized into the same body. "If the ear should say, 'Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,; that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell?" We need each other. Sometimes our lot in life is to care for others, and sometimes to be cared for—but really, they are one and the same, part of the same body of Christ. 

Love is not equal, it is not fair. Christianity makes no room for equitable exchange or reciprocity or bargaining. What we cannot give to the world, God asks us to receive anyway. When we give things up for Lent, I like to think we are coming closer to the state of having nothing but God. You have no choice, which is full of pain. But the final truth still stands: when we have nothing but God, we have everything.

You're in my prayers. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you as you are, in the new ways you will find to exist, in the knowledge that disabled people throughout history have found strength in the love of God, that the better Christians we become exist in our own lives—we don't believe in alternate universes. There is this, now, and there is the world to come. Advent brings us hope for both these things. Be an open cup, for the world and for God. It will not be filled with the past, but the future.

<3 Johanna

[pinovapie]

DRDT Headcanons!! (1/idk)

Decided to post some headcanons for various characters!! (there might be some mild projection on my favourites lol) idk if i'll do more for other characters?? Also, sorry for less Teruko HCs,,, i meant to do 5 for each but uh,,, you can tell who my favourites are i guess??

Also, disclaimer, these are headcanons!! I wrote these before Chap 2 Part 2, they may be disproven and become out of date in the future!!

Under a read more to not clog up space,, also TW: (unintentional) Self harm

Ace:

He grew up on a farm.

His parents had a ton of kids in the hopes that at least one would be successful. Whoever got the best test results/ won an award/ has the highest salary (based on age, idk how old Ace's siblings are) was the favourite and showered with attention.

This meant Ace and his siblings grew up willing to literally and metaphorically shove eachother face first in the mud to be the favourite child. There was a lot of sabotage, insults and threats constantly.

He struggles to form meaningful friendships due to trust issues.

He'll hold a grudge for years. He probably still despises and talks shit about some kid who stole his chair when they were 6 or something.

He used to love animals until one day he woke up and the world was more terrifying than he remembered. The comforting bark of a dog is now a horrifying sound that sends him spiraling with panic.

He's overly sensitive to light and sound.

He chews his lip, bites his nails and scratches his arms/wrists when bored or uncomfortable. Maybe that's why he always wears gloves, to do less damage?

Nico:

Sometimes when it's too much they'll go non verbal. They're fluent in sign language as a result.

They sometimes judge the things people name their pets. They'd never say it out loud but they think certain pets have really stupid names.

They struggle with tone, often coming across as sarcastic and fed up when they're being genuine.

If they get postively overwhelmed (like flustered due to compliments etc.) they make cat noises instead of speaking (like meows, chirps, etc.). They find in really embarrassing.

If they are in a downward spiral, they'll grip something (their cloak, hair, a soft toy, etc.) and just hold on to try and ground themselves.

Nico took a couple skirts from the dress-up room to wear in private.

In a non killing game au, they'd join Rose in painting more frequently. They end up preferring watercolours though.

They may have a journal where they might talk shit about certain individuals in the class.

Teruko:

Despite her trust issues and bad luck with relationships, she's a romantic at heart. It may take a while for her to admit her feelings but she'd like someone to give her flowers and take her to dinner just as much as anyone else.

She likes horror films because she can experience the thrill without being in danger. I think she'd also like those rollar coaster simulators since an actual rollar coaster would probably be too dangerous with her luck.

She loves sliced cheese because she can avoid having to cut cheese with a knife. Similarly, she'll spread spreads with a spoon because it's less risking than with a knife.

Due to constantly moving, she owned a couple of those plastic picnic sets (the plate, bowl, cup sets) and had to wash them frequently. As a result she's secretly super grateful to Hu and Eden for cleaning after meals because it's one less thing to worry about.

She had to remind Charles to seperate his dark and light washing a couple times, even after the initial explanation of washing machines.

Levi:

He's on the Asexual spectrum. Like he'd never consider it himself but if his partner wanted to, he'd be comfortable with it because he likes making his partner happy.

He's usually trying to keep the peace but he will argue with friends or customers if they try to pick/buy a god awful outfit.

He worked at a boutique before becoming a personal stylist. He kept giving customers unwanted fashion advice that made their outfits the talk of the town. Word spread and after a little while people started showing up for the advice.

Does not understand humour or sarcasm at all.

He's fond of baby animals but would never hold one out of fear of hurting it.

In a non killing game au, he'd probably find out peoples fashion preferences so he can get them suitable clothes as presents.

He's probably the only cast member to politely listen to Veronika's rambles without wanting to throw up. He'd probably get roped into movie nights after Arturo and Ace triple locked their doors to avoid such movie nights.

Various people have caught him raiding sweet foods (sometimes even just eating sugar straight out the bag) at like 3am on multiple occasions.

[liquidorcard]

Okay, to the anon who sent me the breakdown of what happened to Liquid Lily:

Thank you for the write up. I do appreciate you filling me in. But I'm going to use this as a chance to address the ground rules of how we address Courtney going forwards on this blog.

Let me be perfectly clear here:

Courtney's behavior as of late has been very upsetting. To me, to many of you, yes. I have very much privately expressed my own thoughts, feelings and frustrations on the matter in more private settings. There's no sneaky shade here, everything I've said I'd be more than willing to say to her face. I'll send her screenshots myself of everything I've said if she so requests it. I'm not here to gossip and bitch and not stand by it when confronted.

And Courtney on the off chance you're reading this, on the off chance you give a shit what I think of you and want to hash it out, my DMs are still as open to you as they have ever been. I'm not going to be brow-beaten because you don't agree with my perspective on things, I'm not interested in a pointless back and forth, but any concern you have with my presence in this cursed space I am always willing to hear you out on. The offer will always be there if you want me to signal boost something you want out there, of what little I can. It doesn't have to be a whole thing.

I'm also not going to wag my finger and tisk tisk on anyone else sharing their thoughts on Courtney's behavior. Nor do I want anyone to think I'm implying Courtney deserves to be coddled and babied because she's too fragile to handle people criticizing her.

With all that said. . .

Courtney will remain a no-poop-touching subject here on this blog. Obviously, she exists, bring her up when relevant, but we are going to refrain from name-calling and casting judgment. We are not making jokes now at Courtney's expense. We are not psychoanalizing her, speculating, making a circus side show. I will bring her up or respond to asks aboit her if I feel it's appropriate, relevant, or necessary.

Here's the thing gents:

Courtney and I have had some very similar life experiences. I'm not going to pretend to know her whole truth or suggest I'm an authority on her because of that, but. I know for me, having gone through what I did didn't help me become the most pleasant person on God's green earth either.

I never intended to hurt anyone, but I did. I have. I am very aware I have the capacity to do so again if I don't keep myself in check. I take full responsibility for the ways I have absolutely set bonds with friends, family and lovers on fire before. I hate it, I feel the full weight of that guilt to this day, but it's better to accept it and do what I have to to be better than pretend I'm a Saint. I've been told by people in flesh space and online how much they appreciate how "level-headed" I am. There isn't any kind of trickery afoot, I learned the hard way one too many times the cost of me not managing myself appropriately. I've put in the work to learn, and even then it's not like there's zero chance I won't eat shit and have a public meltdown caught in 4k. I hope that doesn't happen, lord knows I'm doing what I can to mitigate that risk-- but if it does all I can do is take the L and try to do what I can to fix it. I'm always hopeful the people in my life will forgive me-- and I'm thankful most do. But some don't, and I understand why. Some do, but it's better for both of us if we give each other a wide birth. Being a big boy do be like that sometimes.

And to be frank, if my abuser became an internet lolcow you couldn't fucking pay me to engage or come forwards. All of Lily's known victims are much braver than me. There's always going to be this extremely isolating disconnect when it comes to passive observers engaging with your abusers shitty behavior and you. The deep, crippling, profound panic and imminent sense of heightened danger is never going to feel the same. You might as well be on a different fucking planet, no matter how empathetic or accommodating they are. I can all but 100% garentee the histrionic way I'd be acting wouldn't paint me in a flattering light either.

I've heard some concerning information on some of the things that might be going on in Courtney's life right now. I trust the source it came from but have no way to verify if it's true. If Courtney publically confirms it I'll consider adding my two cents, having had lots of experience with what may be going on. Not that it justifies her actions, again, just very much contextualizes it.

I will say, I do think the sentiment of Courtney's frustration is more than valid-- I just think she made a lot of very poor decisions in who she directed those feelings at, then escalated things far beyond reason. I also empathize with her frustration over everyone and their mom telling her to log off because she's having an episode. I can tell you from my experience I would not respond well to anyone but a very close, trusted person in my life telling me that regardless of whether or not it was true. I've also seen plenty of OTHER dickweeds call Courtney "damaged goods" and the like all over the internet so I really don't blame her for shadowboxing ghosts now over it. You know who you are.

Being a victim doesn't make you incapable of harm or absolve you of personal responsibility. Lily's the fucking poster child for that.

The thing is, within reason, I believe in giving people a healthy amount of space to be messy bitches. Glass houses. It's one thing for me to comment on Courtney somewhere where there's little to no chance people will see it without context, it's totally different for me to put it out there in a space anyone can see it without knowing what went down.

Anon, I'm not scolding you, but I'm going to ask you be careful where and how you describe Courtney in the future publically. The last thing she needs is for more people to treat her like her trauma isn't relevant-- and unfortunately people routinely do expect victims to be perfect little angels. I'm not going to risk putting Courtney in the line of fire for that kind of behavior.

Thank you for your understanding.

[redux-iterum]

Sorry for all the questions from me recently,, but I've been planning to write a fanfic that takes place before pinestar exists in riverclan, blast to the past if you will! I just wanted to ask if you have any tips or advice because I really look up to your writing!

No worries about questions! I'm happy to answer if I can. I'll try to give some advice on writing in general, and hopefully it'll help you.

Figure out what pace will help you keep going on the project, fanfic or original, and work with that. If writing 200 words a day every day or 1k words every three days is your comfortable speed and keeps you from getting exhausted, then don't force yourself to Stephen King it and write an excess of 2k every single day. Your goal is to enjoy yourself here and keep going until it's completed. It won't be worth it if you suffer the whole time.

That being said, at times you may need to strap yourself down and just get through the part you don't want to write. This requires some discipline and self-training, but it is doable. The reward of getting to the part you're excited about is completely worth the work of writing when bored. I can very much promise you that. Every single thing I've ever worked on, I've had to force myself to keep writing/drawing at some point, and every time I've been happy that I worked until I got my reward of the part I was psyched to get to. Hell, I'm doing that right now with the next book in this series! And, fun fact, the more you do it, the easier it gets. Sort of like exercise!

If you need to plan ahead of time to finish a project like I do, then you might could borrow my method of planning: write down one or a couple sentences describing the overall, most basic idea of the plot (literally just something like "[Character] in RiverClan finds a secret plot by [other character] to overthrow the leader, stops them, and then discovers that they were right to be suspicious about the leader's secrets and helps oust the leader"); write down all the story beats and character moments you have in mind in no specific order; break down the plot into more chewable chunks using the aforementioned beats and moments to help you figure out the connecting veins to each chunk; and from there, go smaller and smaller as needed until you have enough to work with that you're comfortable writing. I personally like to write a summary of each chapter as well - all of them - before starting to actually write those chapters. It helps me keep track of everything and prevents me from fucking up the story I had in mind by being impulsive and forgetting the plan.

Even if you love a moment, character or line of dialog, if it isn't working with everything else and is disrupting the flow of the story, don't be afraid to throw it out. It's hard and I hate doing it myself, but sometimes it's just time to get rid of something you're attached to. "Kill your darlings" doesn't just mean killing a character you like, it means taking out things that you love no matter how much it feels like ripping out a tooth. You can always find a way to use whatever it is later in something else.

If you have a willing beta/editor, by GOD, ask for their help. A second set of eyes is crucial to ensuring the quality of your story. The thing is that you're too close to your creation to know for sure if it's good to everyone else - even if it genuinely is amazing, you have no idea because you made it. Having someone outside the circle of sentiment to read and say, "Hey, this dialog doesn't sound very realistic" or "Huh, I thought this piece was foreshadowing something else, maybe clear that up a little" is, while painful to your ego, more precious than a pot of gold. Appreciate the critique you get. It's awesome for your growth. Do know that not all critique is going to be helpful to your specific writing style, but a lot of it is very much worth paying attention to and taking a minute to mull over and decide whether to humor it or not. This, too, you will get better at differentiating over time.

All this said, remember that if you're not getting a paycheck, you're doing this for fun. You are under no obligation to finish a story that's making you miserable. You'll have to learn the difference between "fic I'm in a boring moment of" and "fic that's actively harming my mental wellbeing because I feel obligated to complete it", and sometimes you'll need a second person to voice your thoughts to in order to judge that. If it sucks, hit da bricks! Don't punish yourself for having to stop, or even just taking a break. A fanfic is not worth your sanity. Trust me on this.

That shit got long and I apologize. Hopefully this helped!

[dirthamen-enjoyer]

please remember that this is all my personal thoughts and i might be wrong about some of the things. it is critical. this started off as one specific topic about solas and then ended up turning into more of a ramble. i guess? anyways spoilers for veilguard under the keep reading line.

i wish my brain worked properly sometimes because i really want to know why i feel like they didn't write solas cohesively enough. to me, he is the best part of datv. and no, it's not because i romanced him in inquisition. actually, i could never finish his romance because he was such a know-it-all and it would annoy me lol. (it's because i'm a know-it-all and know-it-alls tend to clash. i plan on forcing myself through it one day though.) despite him annoying me, i liked him as a character. i liked his reveal, the moral greyness of him.

i think mainly my problem is how they presented his morals and why he wants to tear down the veil. it feels like they couldn't decide how to focus him. so originally he's tearing down the veil because it was a mistake and wants the world to go back to the way it was so the days of the ancient elves - specifically after the evanuris are gone - could return, at least that's what i got from it.

then at the beginning of veilguard, it suddenly it feels like tearing the veil down is just a byproduct of him needing to move the last of the evanuris to a better prison. huh? in my head i always thought that solas was ready to fight the evanuris when the veil is brought down because he's willing to take the risk of dealing with them just to bring the old world back. maybe that's too headcanon-y? also i never got around to reading the books or comics fully so i might have missed some details.

then at the end it's "i must do this for mythal or her sacrifice would be for nothing" or whatever he said. huh? i don't get why it's suddenly about mythal, even with the regret murals showing how close they were. it should be about him and all he sacrificed, only for it to not go the way he wanted. without even talking about what was revealed in the regrets murals, he sacrificed the world he knew to lock the evanuris (and forgotten ones) away to try and make life better for the common elves, the slaves.

i don't know how well that last paragraph comes off. i'm just saying that it felt like it didn't belong. his whole story is about regrets, yes. makes sense. he regrets the events that happened because of the veil mistakenly happening. he regrets what's in the murals (which i might talk about in another post because :/) but the game acts like him tearing down the veil is just selfish. there's no other nuance there, it's just selfish. huh? there is so much nuance to this position, in my opinion, that i can't even figure out how to write it.

okay so i've officially lost my train of thought about this original topic, which means i don't know what else to put. i'll just say that i feel dumb that i don't understand it while it feels like everyone else does. also i don't understand why i dislike how everything ended for him. it was like someone punched me when lost elf started playing because this ending didn't feel right. and i don't know why. (that one ending... "i am a god!" bffr he would NAWT FUCKING say that.)

also let me just quickly state that i do not think they should have made the evanuris, and elves, originally spirits. it takes away the fantasy in a the fantasy story, is the best way to say it. i know it sounds weird, but... mysteries are good. not everything needs an explanation. we could have had the mystery of "what were the evanuris?" if they kept them as just gods instead of explaining them. just have the reveal be that the gods weren't good to their subjects and are all-powerful. no need to explain all the time.

this has nothing to do with how much i wanted to fight actual gods (i did. i wanted to go up against actual gods other than the archdemons. and we know that reveal :/ ) or even how much more impactful it would have made solas's history.

[wiltking]

can I have some dark fantasy recommendations 😯 content warnings are appreciated just to know what im getting into, but not a deterrent for me!

i have some go-tos that i always rec but i'll throw in some others i haven't talked about as much to shake things up. also all of these are queer.

the hexslinger series by gemma files - horror + dark fantasy. a tragic story following ex-reverend Asher Rook and his sharpshooter lover Chess Pargeter in a wild west world newly rife with black magic + torn apart by the wills of Aztec gods, doomed by the fact that two hexes can never be together without one of them tearing the other apart by the very nature that gives them magic. there is a lot to this series. it can be overwhelming and morose as hell but its also about how Love Is Not A Weakness and that redemption is possible no matter how far you’ve fallen. (cws: gore, rape, time period specific racism and homophobia)

doctrine of labyrinths by sarah monette - dark fantasy + adventure. follows Felix Harrowgate, a prestigious wizard, and Mildmay, a lowly thief as their lives are uprooted and thrown into an adventure neither of them are prepared to undertake. really enjoyed this series overall. book 3 didn't really work for me but it ended strong with book 4 and stuck with me as a positive experience. its probably the least 'dark' on this list, comparatively. i mostly treasure it for having an extremely messy and flawed gay MC going on an adventure full of grief and rage and painful healing. (cws: rape, csa, incestuous thoughts, suicidal ideation)

the edda of burdens by elizabeth bear - dark fantasy + scifi. always recommend reading in chronological order rather than published order (so start with By the Mountain Bound). essentially about sword-wielding angels of light inspired by norse mythology, and their trials and tribulations spanning thousands of years. Mingan is one of the characters of all time to me and BtMB alone is one of the most dearest and influential books. to me. the writing is visually vivid and stunning. (cws: rape, suicide attempt)

wraeththu by storm constantine - dark fantasy + romance. wraeththu is set in a futuristic apocalyptic world where a hermaphroditic race of people (who all use he/him pronouns) have come into power and eradicated most of humanity. the books follow the lives and struggles of three different wraeththu. this had to have been my first exposure to fiction with weird genitals / sex biology and maybe where my fascination with it can be tied back to. pretty depressing and meandering read overall and my biggest criticisms are that book 2 can be painfully boring at times, and that "correct" androgyny is often reduced to "pale + skinny". its also an older work and not at all trans-inclusive. but if you approach it as if its doing its own thing... it can be interesting. (cws: graphic rape, murder via sex, pedophilia)

the ragged blade by christopher ruz - dark fantasy. this is the story of a tragic, violent man fleeing across the desert with his feral daughter to get away from a murderous magician man he loved, once. It's not healthy, it's not happy, but its extremely unique and well-crafted and i will never not be sad that the rest of this series might never see the light of day because the publisher went under. but even so, very well worth the read on its own. (sadly dont remember if this one needs warnings but i dont think there was anything too crazy)

now for a very questionable rec... the steel remains by richard k. morgan. i have so many issues with this series. the sex sucks. Egar sucks. the last book is absolute dogshit. but Ringil.... oh Ringil. if only the series could have just been about him, and written by someone else. i am pretty much only recommending the first book. maybe the second. but its also terrible to inflict this series on someone when it ends like that. so do with it what you will.

[wrestletotheground]

settle down - ross macdonald x reader

summary: you and ross are staying in your old house with your family for the weekend, but you find it hard to keep quiet when everyone's asleep...

wc: 1.9k

cw: 18+ minors dni!!! f!reader, angst, fluff, smut, dom!ross, 'good girl', fingering, gagging, slight degradation, choking kink, d word bc i can't help myself, spit, general filth tbh x

'i can't believe i'm actually about to sleep in the bed you grew up in,' ross says, shaking his head in disbelief as he pulls off his tshirt, climbing into bed beside you. 'I can't believe you've spent the day with my insane parents and are willing to stay here for two whole nights', you reply with a giggle.

your parents had been tormenting you to have him over for dinner ever since you moved in together a month ago, claiming you were both in need of a decent meal and a break from dirty dishes.

you'd finally agreed to go back and stay for the weekend. obviously ross got on well with your family as they'd met countless times before, but having him stay over, sleeping in your childhood room, feels daunting. as if it's the final layer he has to go through to know every part of you inside and out.

your parents are well asleep by now, having gone upstairs just before you and ross. with the emptiness in the living room, you'd straddled his lap, grinding into him softly as you littered kisses down his neck.

his heavy breathing was an indicator of how worked up he was getting, although it was less sexual and more passionate, a simple display of your love for each other. shortly after, you'd both gone up to get ready for bed, lovesick and giggly.

~

darkness floods the room with a click as you turn off the old pink lamp beside your bed.

'goodnight baby,' you say to ross as he presses a loving kiss to your temple. 'night sweetheart,' he murmurs, letting his hand fall down to your stomach as he settles his head into the pillow beside you. the warmth of his body is comforting and strong beside you, but your thoughts are elsewhere.

a wave of intense emotion starts to take over as you lie awake staring at the ceiling, your mind racing. the nostalgia of being in the room you grew up in is making your head flood with memories of long sleepless nights spent in this exact place. many a night were filled with tears and hopelessness, going through things no young girl should ever even have to think about. you're doing so much better now, having created a new life and a new home for yourself with your perfect fiancé. your eyes brim with fresh tears as you lie mourning the lost teenager that once sat here. you wish you could give her a hug and tell her that it truly does get better.

you take a deep breath to calm yourself, before shakily placing your hand over ross's, needing him close to you. the feeling of him beside you relaxes you, it always does. you can't help the flutter of arousal that runs through you at the pressure of his hand weighing down on your lower abdomen.

his eyes open suddenly, flicking up towards you. you didn't even think he was still awake with how sleepy he'd been only moments beforehand. you snap your eyes shut, as if that would trick him.

'baby, are you okay? what's wrong?' he asks sleepily. he props himself up on his elbow and brings a hand to your face to caress your cheek gently.

you turn to face him. 'yeah, I'm just- it's okay, don't worry, I'll be fine. just need you close to me'. 'darling, what's up? talk to me'. his voice is laced with concern and you silently curse his ability to read you like a book at all times.

'I was just.. thinking about how happy I am now, compared to how it was when I was younger. I used to think I was- I don't know, broken. but everything has gotten better since I met you, and not to be too sappy but I'm so glad I get to make happier memories here with the love of my life'.

'god you're making me emotional too, love,' he smiles and kisses you gently. 'I love you, and im so glad we found each other.' you look into his eyes adoringly and smile. 'i love you too', you reply.

you settle down into each other, ross lying on his side with his arm across you. the ache between your legs is still there, but you decide to close your eyes and try get some sleep.

until his hand begins to rub up and down your thigh, inching further and further up with each stroke before he rests it on your hip, fingertips rubbing in light circular motions dangerously close to where you need him.

you need him to fuck you so badly, but the risk of being heard is so high. you know you wouldn't be able to control yourself with the way you melt into him as he worships you.

'mmh ross, we can't, not here', you mumble, instinctively leaning into his touch despite your words. 'why not?' he asks, smirking up at you as he presses light kisses down your neck. 'i want to but my parents are next door, the walls in this house are like paper.'

he lifts his head up, the warmth of his breath tickling your ear. 'well you'll have to be quiet then won't you, love?' he whispers, dipping his hand under the waistband of your underwear. you exhale sharply as his fingers graze over your clit, instantly making you wet. 'fuck,' you breathe, squeezing your thighs in around his hand. 'ah ah, you're gonna take it like a good girl aren't you?' he says softly, grabbing your leg closest to him and pulling it up over his to give him more access.

you writhe under him as his two middle fingers continue to swipe lazily up and down, stopping suddenly. 'aren't you?' he says again, his eyes stern. 'yes- mmh- i'll be good,' you whimper desperately, earning a grunt of approval. 'there we go, relax darling, let me look after you', he replies.

the endless band posters and picture frames that cover the walls seem to be watching on in silent judgement, making you hyper aware of where you are. to be honest, the immorality and risk of it all is just making you more turned on, more desperate for him than ever.

he traces your soaked entrance teasingly before slipping his middle finger in to the knuckle, making you gasp, your back arching into him. 'shh, you said you'd be good,' he mutters, curling his finger inside you and stroking upwards. your eyes roll into your head at the heavenly sensation.

he doesn't waste time before adding another and you can't help the sound that spills from your throat, louder than you expected. he stills inside you, your slick dripping down his fingers. your heart pounds in your chest as you meet his eyes, looking down at you with a heavy gaze.

'if you're not quiet I'll give you something to whine about and we don't want that do we?' he's practically growling at you, making you like putty in his hands. 'n-no, please, daddy' you whine under your breath. the magic word. his breath hitches and his eyes roll back into his head. 'fuck, there's my girl', he whispers, his eyes snapping back to yours instantly.

with that, he starts moving in and out, dipping his fingers in as deep as they can go and drawing them back again in quick, fluid motions. obscene sounds break the silence of the room, barely noticeable above the haze of pleasure taking over your body.

your walls pulse around him, enhancing the feeling even more. he throws his right leg up over yours, holding your legs open for him. he curls his fingers inside you, using his thumb at the same time to press into your clit, hard. you have to hold your breath to suppress the scream that's lingering in the back of your throat, coming out in a pathetic barely audible whimper as you exhale.

his other hand creeps around the back of your head, never slowing his rhythm between your thighs. he reaches your mouth and covers it tightly with his whole palm, muffling any more noises you would've let out. suddenly he shoves three digits into your mouth, making you gag as they hit the back of your throat. you close your lips around them and start sucking, swirling your tongue around and coating him in spit, never breaking eye contact. he groans softly, flashbacks filling his mind of how your mouth feels around his cock.

your mouth hangs open as he hits the deep part inside you and your eyebrows furrow, hips bucking into his hand in time with his movements. he's fucking you hard and fast, pinning you to the mattress.

'ross, I can't - mfh- fuck, i'm -' you start, although it comes out muffled and strained around his fingers that are still deep in your mouth. the vibration of your voice goes straight through his hand, the sensation making him feral.

'one more fucking word from you and you're never going to finish do you hear me?' he whispers aggressively, eyes stern. you nod your head in silent response, eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

he takes his fingers out of your mouth, dragging his soaked hand down to your neck and presses in on either side just below your jaw, all the while his fingers are working you to your core. you bite your lip as you gaze up at him, completely at his mercy and loving every second of it.

he reaches a particularly deep spot inside you that makes your stomach coil. your head is spinning, face scrunched up in excruciating pleasure, on the brink of the peak you've been desperately chasing as his strokes get quicker and more precise.

'please...' it's barely a whisper, more of a breathy plea for him to let you come. 'let go. let me fucking feel you all over me. pretty. little. slut.' each word is punctuated by a hard thrust into you, the final one sending you over the edge.

your vision turns to white and you clasp a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from screaming, your hips rolling into his hand as you ride out your high. his hand that's now drenched, warm honey dripping down onto his palm.

you exhale sharply as he pulls his fingers out, bringing them up in front of you and spreading the two middle ones that were curling inside you moments ago. a wet string of your arousal connects them at the knuckle and you watch him dazedly. he drags them almost reluctantly towards his mouth, as if he didn't want to stop looking, and runs his tongue up the wide v shape, collecting your juices into his mouth.

it's a filthy sight that leaves you awestruck. he smirks at you as you lie gazing at him, being broken out of your lustful trance when he leans in to kiss you. as soon as your lips part his mouth is hovering above yours as he taps your jaw lightly. you open your mouth wider and he takes his chance to slowly spit into your mouth. the taste of the two of you is warm and feral and addictive.

he whispers again, breath ghosting over your lips. 'good girl'. you're too flustered to respond with words, so you slide your hand up around the back of his neck and pull him into another kiss. tongues moving languidly against each other. it's loving and soft, a stark contrast to what he was like moments ago, but you wouldn't have it any other way.

~

[denaliwrites]

It's How I'm Made

Tenth Doctor x Genderfluid!Reader

Summary: The Doctor has been especially protective of you since your coming out, even willing to go to bat for you in the face of aliens that look like they could probably snap him in half. Can be read as a sequel to On the Brave Shit.

Soundtrack: YES MOM by Tessa Violet

Requests: Open!

Warnings: Enbyphobia. Misgendering. Anxiety.

"Do you really think you can stop me, little girl?" the alien in front of you taunted, and you hated that it worked, that you wavered, that you almost lost your grip on the pipe you were using as a makeshift weapon.

The alien laughed, rubbing salt on the wound.

"Oh, come on now," you heard the Doctor say from behind you. "You can't be that dull. I mean," he paused for effect, scratching the back of his head as he awkwardly shuffled closer, "that's obviously an adult human. And, also, he's clearly a man. I mean, look at him!" The Doctor motioned vaguely at all of you, with a knowing look shot to you before shifting back into a passive expression.

Your heart swelled, though, and with a new surge of confidence your grip tightened and you stood firmer, facing off the alien with a glare.

"Don't be ridiculous, this is obviously--"

"An adult human male, yes," the Doctor cut in, followed up with a dramatically exasperated sigh. "Really, you'd think an alien from a planet with sixty-seven genders would get it, wouldn't you?" he asked, turning to you.

You blinked. "Sixty-seven?"

"Oh, yes," the Doctor said cheerfully. "And, remarkably, none of them are 'male' or 'female.' I mean, they have a few that are close enough, at least in terms of what a human can wrap their head around."

"Oh." That explained why the alien in front of you seemed... like a guy? You thought, anyway.

"Could also be the perception filter," the Doctor commented absentmindedly. "Anyway. Apologize to my friend, please." You knew the Doctor well enough to tell when he was no longer making polite requests. When he was angry.

And by God, he was pissed.

The alien, luckily, seemed to catch onto that. It turned to you, bowing deeply. "My sincerest apologies."

"Oh. Er... accepted?" You weren't... really sure what to make of this whole situation. It wasn't every day you got misgendered by an alien from a species with sixty-seven genders yet couldn't seem to grasp the idea of gender presentation.

As if no transgression had passed, the Doctor effortlessly moved on with a grin. "Now, how about we get you home?"

After you and the Doctor had dropped the alien off on its home planet and you had met, by your estimate, sixteen and a half of those aforementioned sixty-seven genders, you leaned against the TARDIS doors while the Doctor flipped random switches on the console -- you swore it was different every time.

"Are you all right?" the Doctor asked suddenly, and it was only then that you realized there were tears rolling down your cheeks.

"Erm, y-yeah, I'm... fine."

He did not look convinced -- understandably.

"Listen, what that alien said --"

"Is that all people see when they look at me? A little girl playing dress up?" you asked suddenly, stopping the Doctor in his tracks. "Is that all I'll ever be?"

The Doctor looked so devastated for a moment before he cleaned up his expression and replaced it with his carefully curated neutral default.

"I thought--" You were cut off by a sob that you did your best to choke back. "I thought I looked so great today."

"Hey, now," the Doctor said, joining you at the door in a few long bounds. You stared up at him hopelessly. "You do look great," he assured you as he leaned against the door with you. "You look how you want to look, and that's what matters. Right?"

"Not if people don't see me as what I'm trying to be."

"Oh, there's no trying," the Doctor said. "You are what you are. Other people don't matter. Even I don't matter. The only person, or alien, or whatever, who matters is you."

The way he looked at you made your heart swell, but you still weren't entirely convinced.

"Do you feel masculine right now?" he asked.

"Not really," you answered honestly.

"... Right. Well. I should've expected that. Okay. Did you feel masculine before that alien said anything?"

"... Yeah," you answered, still honest.

"Then you're masculine. Don't let anyone take that away from you. Especially an alien from a species with sixty-seven genders and yet no concept of being a different gender than the one you were born as."

"Do they have trans aliens in that species?"

"Yes! That's why it's so baffling!" the Doctor sighed exasperatedly.

"Oh, so they're just.... like, a mega bigot," you observed with a laugh. The Doctor returned the sound, and the two of you dissolved into a fit of giggles that lasted way too long, yet not long enough.