#But I want that said for full disclosures sake

[maintitle]

I think one of the reasons (outside of my great preference for women) that I just don't connect with some of the tumblr sexymen common romance options in Bioware-esque games is that, really often, there's a scene where the game assumes you want to get with Default Guy because you're a woman, and when you say you don't a lot of them get huffy. Anders is the best example of that for me, he's a real bitch when getting turned down that first time so I hold a tremendous grudge for that.

The one I REALLY hate though is Kaidan. I am SO sorry to Kaidan lovers, but the fact that he not only makes a(n admittedly small) stink about it but APPROACHES YOU IN ME3 REGARDLESS OF ROMANCE pisses me off. I mostly romance Liara or Thane, and in either situation it's deeply inappropriate for him to sit down and catch up with me in a public place and go 'what about us?' Like, motherfucker there IS NO US and I have made that clear for THREE GAMES.

I recognize that this is either a writing issue or a programming issue, but it still ticks me off. It'd be one thing if poly relationships happened in these games, but they decidedly don't so it's *not* okay. On that note, honestly I think Larian handles this best in most cases, when you turn someone down in that game, in most cases they're sad but take it well, or confidant enough to say 'your loss' and move on without guilt tripping you. Gale and Wyll are written FANTASTICALLY in this sense. But even that game doesn't necessarily do well with it. Astarion is bitchy about it, but Astarion is always bitchy so he gets a pass. Halsin is REALLY REALLY weird about a romance, but that's partially because it's impossible to not accidentally flirt with him. Kaidan's the same.

Anyway, the point of this post more or less isn't to outline a problem so much as point out how frustrating I find it to be treated as less-than for turning down the go-to man. It's not an issue of me being bitchy about having to feel sad, so much as being put in positions where I turn men down and get a reaction more equivalent to a dudebro calling me a bitch for saying no. I'm a big believer in looking past certain aspects of writing in these games. These characters can't always be best viewed from their full reactionary dialogue. An issue with choice-based games is that it's easy to perform character assassination on a character for a stance they take on a quest, and often these stances are there for a devil's advocate position that doesn't line-up with their character. It's a necessary evil of these kinds of games. I see these situations as similar, I try really hard to look past them, because somebody like Kaidan or Halsin are very sweet otherwise, but it's very hard to. It makes me begrudge the Big Male Romance really often.

[b00kdiary]

Okay I've been debating about requesting this. However, I think you would do this lovely.

Reader is shopping for her wedding dress and is really excited only for the workers. They treat her terribly for her size and make her feel uncomfortable, so she leaves trying on only like 2 dresses and feels icky and when her mate (Cassian) wants to cuddle he can sense somethings off especially when he evades his touch.

Take some liberties with it. But I had this experience recently with my bridesmaids, and we didn't feel insecure, but we all left feeling really angry and upset

Full disclosure I did write something similar to this with Rhys, but I would honestly love your take with Cassian because I think you write him beautifully 😍

Mine | Cassian

Cassian X Plus Size reader

Y/N goes wedding dress shopping and is confronted with females who make it clear that they think she’s unworthy of being Cassian’s mate, that she shouldn’t be his wife. Cassian shows her just how fucking wrong they are.

Warning: Mature themes (18+), swearing, body image issues and mean comments, fluff, angst and Mild Smut. (A/N to the lovely person who requested this I am sorry this happened to you, and I hope this work is how you'd like!)

MASTERLIST - 1 and 2

"A size 18?"

The female before me asked again – for the third fucking time.

And just like the first and second, her beautiful face twisted, lips curling in a cruel smirk, blue eyes widening and her tone – I could hear the condescension in it. But what really took the cake was how her eyes raked down my figure, from head to toe looking at me like I was dirt on her shoe.

"Yes," Mor breathed, speaking sharply through her clenched teeth. I glanced sidelong at her, nervous at the anger simmering in her golden eyes. "She said that already. Thrice."

The female's eyes slid from me to Mor, and she had the good sense to look uneasy at the blonde's wrathful expression. I kept my face neutral when she met my gaze, a faux-innocent smile on her pink lips before she dipped her head in a bare nod and scurried away.

I glared as her long, slender legs carried her, shapely hips and slim waist swaying with every graceful movement. No wonder why she was looking at me like I was the fucking elephant in the room. She was tiny, as was every other worker in this stupid shop.

"I am going to pluck her eyes from her head," Mor seethed quietly from beside me. I turned to her, bracing my hands on my soft hips as I met her furious frown. "And tear her tongue from her mouth. She is awful."

"Yes, she is," I chuckled, pushing down the ache in my chest as I met Mor’s stare. I wouldn’t let her meanness affect me. Nor would I let Mor try and defend my honour. “But we’re here for a wedding dress, this is meant to be fun. Just ignore her.”

Mor sighed, tucking the strands of her long blonde hair from her face. I gave her a hopeful smile and I could see her physically forcing down her anger for my sake. A second later her golden eyes met mine and she beamed.

“You’re right, this is meant to be fun,” Mor grabbed my hand, smirking as she tugged me along the shop floor to the dressing room, passing the dozens and dozens of gorgeous gowns. “And you're going to marry your mate. Cassian is one lucky male.”

We passed a group of female workers, re-organising the rack – and it was almost comical how they all halted at Mor’s words, eyes widening. Mor’s smirk broadened and she shot them a cruel, amused look.

“Mate and soon-to-be wife of General Cassian of the Night Court,” Mor continued, feigning ignorance to the group of females now listening. Their faces ashen as they flickered their gaze to and from me. “You really do need the perfect dress.”

I rolled my eyes at her gloating tone, slapping her hand in mild scolding as we stopped before the dressing room doors. I tried to ignore how the workers watched me, but I could feel their deadly stares boring holes into my back, all over my body – I could feel the awful judgement.

“I think the one we chose will be perfect,” Mor continued, oblivious to the stares I was getting and the whispers behind my back. I swallowed the lump in my throat, forcing an easy smile onto my lips as she gushed. “The neckline, the bodice, the skirt – Cassian won’t know what hit him.”

“Let’s wait and see if they have my size first,” I muttered, drumming my fingers impatiently as we waited. Mor shot me a look, frowning but I just stared ahead. I didn’t want her to feel bad for me.

“If this store doesn’t another will,” Mor said, her tone a shade softer now. “Besides, we have the best tailors in Velaris, we could have a gown fit for a queen made for you if you wanted. I know Cassian would want nothing less than the best for you. So do the rest of us.”

A gown fit for a queen. Something fit for the mate of the General. The thought made me feel nauseous for some reason. Still, I gave Mor another smile, nodding along as if I liked the idea.

Mercifully, the female worker arrived before Mor could press me anymore about what I thought. Or unmercifully if the fake smile she wore as she approached was any indication. Or how she held that size 18 dress like the largeness of it might rub off on her.

Mor was right. She is fucking awful.

“Here we are,” She chirped, draping the bag over my arm with more force than necessary. She eyed the dress, disdain in them. “Size 18. Sadly, that is the largest we do. So, hopefully, it fits.”

Hopefully sounded more like I hope it doesn’t – sounded like she wanted to laugh at me when it didn’t.

“Hopefully,” I gritted out, shooting her a bland smile before walking away without another word.

Mor chuckled quietly as she followed after me, leaving that awful female standing there – dismissed. Perhaps it was mean, I was not someone who was ever rude to staff and yet this woman had brought that side out of me.

She’d also brought out the side of me that felt sick with nerves at the idea of trying this dress on.

***

Mor began crying the second I stepped out of the changing rooms wearing the dress.

“Oh Cauldron,” She laughed, red-painted nails coming to her face, wiping the endless tears away. I smiled as I descended the steps moving toward the mirrors. “You look beautiful, Y/N. Truly, you’re a dream.”

I smiled at my friend; throat too tight to voice how much her words meant to me. My legs shook a little as I moved toward the mirrors. The dress had fit, and she was right – I did look like a dream.

“Gods, it’s beautiful,” I whispered, voice shaking. I ran my trembling hands along the tight-laced bodice, down the soft silk material as it draped along my curved hips and fell in soft, elegant weaves down my thighs and to the floor.

It fit me like a glove. The simple, sweetheart neckline accentuated my chest, the bodice moulded perfectly against my waist and hips and the material looked rich, looked like it was made for a queen.

“You’re beautiful,” Mor said softly, coming to stand behind me in the mirror, tears glistening in her eyes as she ran her hands through my hair, “I think this might be the dress.”

“I think so too,” I laughed, my eyes burning with emotion as I stared at myself. Beautiful – it was a feeling I rarely experienced and yet, right now I did. I felt beautiful. “This is my dress.”

Mor shrieked, and I flinched at the shrill sound as she laughed, hugging me so tight I could scarcely breathe. I giggled, sniffing as I wrapped my arms around her slender frame, and I was beaming just as broad as she was.

Until the door cracked open.

And that female stood in the doorway. Frowning at me.

“You’ve found your dress then?” She said tightly, interrupting Mor’s elated nonsensical muttering about Cassian and the wedding and something about drinking. “It fits.”

I straightened as Mor pulled away from me, all remnants of a smile gone from her lovely face, and she was as stiff as me as we turned to that female. I swallowed as her blue eyes racked across my figure, something akin to disgust rippling like waves through her gaze.

“Yes,” I said tightly, my arms unconsciously folding over my chest. As if to shield myself from her judgment. “It fits.”

“Excellent,” She replied, sounding anything but thrilled. But still, she smiled, an ugly sight, before she beckoned Mor to follow her. “We can figure out the details while she gets out of the dress. I imagine it might take a while.”

Mor’s canines flashed and the female took a step back in surprise when Mor looked as if she might lunge for her – and rip out her throat with her teeth. But I clamped my hand down around her wrist before she could. Her golden eyes turned to me, incredulous, but I merely shook my head with a warning in my eyes.

“That’s fine,” I said sharply, meeting her blue eyes and raising my chin, “I’ll see you both in a few minutes then.”

“Fine,” Mor muttered, sighing as my fingers uncurled from her wrist. I could see the anger on her face as she followed after the female. And rightfully so, the female kept a good distance between them as they exited the room.

I released a tight breath as I moved back to the changing room, locking the door and slumping back against it once I was inside. And just like that, I felt awful again. I felt big like I was taking up too much space. I felt ugly like this dress wasn’t for me. And most of all I felt unworthy.

A mixture of anger and sorrow washed over me as I slipped out of the dress and back into my usual leggings and top. I tried to not dwell on how that female had looked at me, how swiftly she had yanked me back to reality with something as simple as her words.

It shouldn’t have mattered and yet, for some reason it did.

“Did you hear-“

I heard the soft giggling voice as I yanked my shoes on, two pairs of footsteps and rustling clothes sounding in the main part of the dressing room. Admittedly, I might have softened my movements to hear them. I had a horrible feeling I knew what they were talking about.

“The female who came in before asking for a size 18,” She whispered, spitting the size like it was acid on her tongue. My chest tightened. “She’s mated to and marrying General Cassian. Cassian who looks like a God is tied to her.”

“Cauldron spare him,” The other female choked on a laugh, and they both sounded almost sorry for him – like they pitied Cassian for having me as a mate. “The least she could have done is lose some weight for the wedding. I’m a size 2 and I would have tried to get down to a 0, never mind being her size.”

Her size.

Hot, searing embarrassment spread over me like a fire. But I forced down the humiliation and the bile twisting in my gut as I rose to my feet grabbing my purse and unlocking the door as loudly as I could. They stopped speaking and moving, instantly.

And my face was like steel as I stepped out into the main room. And watched their eyes widen, faces turning ashen. It would have been amusing if they hadn’t just torn my sense of self to shreds.

“Oh-“ One of the females gasped upon seeing me. Dumb struck. I saw them both glancing at each other, faces reddening and scrambling to find the words to explain what I had overheard.

I said nothing as I began stalking away, but I kept my face hard and my back straight as I exited the room and moved back through the shop floor. They were scurrying after me, like the rodents they were, likely to beg me not to say anything.

“Y/N!” Mor grinned as she stood at the counter, the first female and another, older female by her side, sorting through some paperwork. Mor’s smile dimmed when she saw my stormy expression. “What-“

“We’re not buying that dress,” I said simply as I stopped at the desk. All eyes latched onto me in surprise. “I won’t be buying anything from this store.”

Mor blinked at me. But upon seeing the severity on my face, the way my hands were clenched around my purse until my knuckles turned white, she didn’t push it.

“All right,” Mor nodded, dropping the papers in her hand, and slipping her bag around her shoulder. She looked at me and smiled, “Let’s go.”

“Wait. Wait-“

I glanced at the older female, seeing the confusion and panic on her face. But it was nothing compared to the panic of the female worker beside her. She looked like she might pass out.

“I’m the manager here, ladies,” The elder female said, and her eyes were kind. She seemed kind. “If you have any issues, please I will do whatever I can to remedy it.”

“You’re the manager?” I asked, and she nodded. I smiled - it was not a kind sight. “Then you should know that I intended to buy that dress, it was lovely. But I won’t.”

“Because of her,” I looked at the first female at her side, my tone as sharp as a blade. She stiffened, like a doe caught by a predator as all eyes fell to her.

“And them,” I turned back to where the two other females stood. Just as stiff, just as caught off guard. Still holding the garments, they had been fixing when they were discussing my body in the dressing room.

“I’d re-think the kind of people you employ here, how they speak and treat your customers,” I said, turning back to the eldest female. She had anger in her eyes now – like this wasn’t the first time. “Because I won’t pay to be ridiculed. And I will ensure that no female I know will come here either, not with the likes of them working here.”

“I apologise for whatever offence they caused, my dear,” She frowned, shaking her head at me. She genuinely looked upset. “I will deal with this accordingly.”

I turned my attention to the workers, to the anger and tears in their eyes. They glared at me as if this were my fault. I shot them a saccharine smile before turning, Mor on my heel as we walked away.

“Are you all right?” Mor asked me softly when we left the shop and walked back into the bustle of the main street.

“I’m fine,” I lied, keeping my eyes straight ahead. “I just want to go home. It’s been a long day.”

***

I hear Cassian and Azriel’s laughter the second Mor and I step into the house. And Cassian must sense my presence because I feel a soft brush down the bond, adoring and needy as if trying to coax me to come to him faster.

“Sweetheart,” Cassian grins the second I walk into the room, his handsome face lighting in the most breathtaking way as he rushes over to me. His arms are around me in a second, enveloping me in a great, crushing hug.

It would be sweet. Except his hands dig into the flesh at my back. I can feel my stomach pressing into his hard, carved chest. And he’s lifting me, Gods, I cringe as my feet lift off the ground and he’s bearing all my weight.

“Hey, Cass,” I mutter, trying to force an easy smile onto my lips as he drops me gently to my feet. I push at his chest, pulling free from his hold as I step back, and I don’t miss the small, confused frown he gives me. “Hey, Az.”

Azriel smiles at me, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes as I stiffly move around my mate, every inch of me hard and wilting from his loving touch.

“You don’t have any bags with you?” Cassian noted from beside me, his hazel eyes moving from Mor, who was shoving her several bags onto the counter and then to me, with none. “I thought you were going wedding shopping?”

“I didn’t find anything,” I said simply, moving on stiff legs to the dining table. I brush off Cassian’s hand on my back as I do so, and Azriel’s eyes narrow. But again, I ignore it all as I pour myself a glass of water, staring at the clear water as if fills my cup.

“That’s not true, she found a beautiful dress, the dress,” Mor said, her voice exasperated. And my fingers tightened around the glass as I brought it to my mouth and sipped. “She was going to buy it, but the workers were such assholes to her-“

“Workers?” Cassian cut in, voice sharpening. I sighed when he marched to me, towering height peering down at me with anger and concern in his eyes. “What shop? What did they say-“

“Nothing, Cass,” I kiss my teeth, brushing away the hand he brought to my face, annoyance flaring in my eyes. His frown deepened, and so did the tension in the room. “Nothing happened, it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine,” Mor argued, and my jaw clenched, as I looked away from my mate to the glass in my hand. “They were mean, Y/N and the way they spoke to you and looked at you, the way they treated you-“

“Mor!” I slammed the glass onto the table, so hard the wood shook from the impact. My sharp yell echoed through the silence as everyone stared at me – shocked. “I said it was fine. Just stop.”

Mor blinks at me, her face falling. I regret yelling at her immediately.

“I’m sorry,” She mutters, guilt in her eyes. I feel Cassian and Azriel’s attention unwavering on me and it’s too much. “I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s fine,” I whisper, voice shaking. My entire body is shaking as I step away from them, unable to meet anyone’s eyes. “I’m- I’m going to go get some rest.”

“Y/N,” Cassian called my name as I turned, but I could feel the tears burning in my eyes. So, I kept walking, and walking, and walking.

***

I’m sitting on the chaise in one of Cassian’s old shirts, reading and re-reading the same line in my book when he comes in.

I don’t lift my eyes from that one page, even as my heart thunders in my chest as he silently stalks over to me. I know he can hear my heavy breathing and erratic pulse; I know he can feel my sorrow in waves down the bond.

His footsteps are nearly silent as he moves toward me, and I feel his eyes like a brand on my skin. I suck in a harsh breath when he stops and drops to kneel before me. His large hands brace on my thighs, his face levels with mine and I’m shaking as I keep my eyes down.

I hear his throat work and I clamp my eyes shut when his hand comes forward, gently taking the book I wasn’t reading from my hands and discarding it on the floor beside him. So gentle, so tender, I could feel it just in the way he watched me.

“Look at me, my love,” Cassian whispers, fingers curling around my thighs. I cringe as he kneads my flesh, but his touch is adoring. “Please, look at me.”

I took in a stabilising breath before I fluttered my eyes open and lifted them to meet his. My heart broke at the pain in his eyes, that lovely face twisted with hurt as he beheld me.

“I’m fine,” I muttered. My voice broke. But still, I shook my head, trying to smile. “I’m fine Cass.”

“No, you’re not baby,” Cassian frowned, and a tear slid down from my eyes when his hand lifted and cupped my cheek, darkness in his eyes as he tracked that tear. And the next. And the next. “What happened? What did they say? I can’t fix it if I don’t know.”

My bottom lip trembled as more tears fell from my face, and Cassian released a broken, desperate groan as I tried to fight back my sobs. I curled one hand around his strong wrist, just needing to hold him, to anchor myself to his strength.

“They were looking at me like I was disgusting Cass,” I whispered, unable to say the words any louder. I kept my eyes closed as I spoke - I couldn’t face him. “Like just for existing in my body I should be ashamed.”

He shook with rage. I felt it down the bond, that primal, deadly anger that he rarely ever exhibited but when he did it was catastrophic.

“And when they heard, I was mated to you, that I would be marrying you,” Another sob broke free from me and his hand tightened at my jaw. He leaned forward, trembling as he pressed his forehead to mine. “I overheard them talking about how gorgeous you were and how fucking awful it was that you were mated to me.”

Pain danced through the bond, his pain not mine.

“And I just felt so guilty,” I breathed, sniffing as the tears leaked into my nose and mouth, as Cassian let them soak him too. “You should have a female walking down that aisle who is beautiful and thin, I didn’t even try and lose weight for the wedding, I’m sorry Cass-“

“Stop.” He snarled. And my eyes blinked open latching onto the searing, furious rage in his gaze. “Stop.”

“Cassian – “ I gasped as he grabbed me, fingers curling around my waist and hips and before I knew it, he was lifting me, spinning us so that he sat on the chaise, and I was straddling him. So fast. So easy. Like I didn’t weigh a damn thing.

“Listen to me, Y/N,” Cassian said severely, hand cupping my cheek and forcing my eyes to stay on his. I had never seen him so serious. “I’m going to speak and you’re going to listen, okay?”

I nodded slowly, blinking away the tears as I stared at him.

His hand stayed on my jaw, the other curling around my thigh and keeping my body flush with him. Every inch of me felt every inch of him. I tried not to cringe at what he could feel.

“Do not ever let anyone, male or female, make you question your worth and beauty,” He said, his voice steady and firm. So were his eyes. “Do not ever let anyone make you feel like you are not enough. You are worthy of the world and more, do you hear me?”

I swallowed, my throat painfully tight but at the command in his gaze, I nodded again.

“I should kill those females for speaking about you like that, for making you think that any inch of you is ugly,” He snarled softly, canines baring, and I hated how he frowned, wanting to rub away the crease between his brows. “You are beautiful. You are the most beautiful female I have ever seen in my life. And I thank the Mother every fucking day that she made you mine. That she made me yours.”

A tear trickled down my face. Cassian’s eyes softened and he rubbed that tear and the next away with a tender brush of his thumb.

“Don’t ever think I don’t love your body, I do, I love every curve baby, I can’t resist them,” He sighed, and my eyes fluttered as his hand began to languish across my thighs, moving over my fleshy hips and the rolls at my back with need. “I don’t want you to change anything about yourself, not for me, or a wedding, or to fit into a dress. I want you just as you are.”

“Are you sure?” I whisper, my voice so weak. And Cassian’s face falls at it, at the doubt and vulnerability in my words. “I don’t want to embarrass you Cassian.”

“You could never embarrass me,” He scoffs, and my body melts into his as his hand curves around to cup my ass, dragging me forward so that not even an inch of space remains between us. “I am nothing but a brute. A bastard. But with you? I am the luckiest male in the world, I get to have your heart, your smile, and your body to love and worship and comfort for the rest of my life. I pity other males who don’t have you.”

“You’re not a brute or a bastard or anything else of the sort,” I frown, denial sparking like embers in my eyes. Cassian laughs, his throat thick with emotion, but he laughs at the immediate anger in me. “I love you Cassian. Just like you love me.”

I knew he did. I never should have questioned it.

“And I love you, baby,” He smiles, that kind of smile that knocks the air from my lungs. “I love you so fucking much. I don’t want you to forget it but if you do, I will always be there to remind you.”

My eyes flutter shut as he presses his lips to mine, and the feeling is just like home. It’s like finding the other half of my soul and feeling it slot into place the second we meet. It’s perfect.

Cassian grins as I moan, my lips parting to let his tongue sweep in, hot and exploring, tracing against my teeth and tongue like he wants to devour me. His hands ravish along my body, palming my ass, cupping, and toying with my aching breasts, rubbing that deliciously thick length up into me.

“So responsive,” Cassian praises, running his tongue along my lips teasingly and I whimper as he rolls his hips against my wet, swollen clit, so hard I can feel him through his slacks and my underwear. “So beautiful when you’re rubbing against me, my love.”

“Cass,” I moan, eyes fluttering as presses wet kisses against my jaw, his hands cupping my ass and dragging me back and forth over his cock. He groans a rough, lewd sound, one that goes straight down to the heat between my thighs.

“I think you should forgo a dress on our wedding day,” Cassian grumbles against my cheek, hazel eyes flashing mischievously as I grind down against him, faster and harder. “I couldn’t imagine a better sight than you walking down that aisle completely naked, looking like the goddess you are.”

“Cassian,” My back arched, the slickness between my thighs growing more and more, especially as he growled those filthy words into my ears. His hands do not stop for a second, exploring and touching every inch of me.

“Whatever dress you wear will be on the floor anyway,” He chuckles darkly, and I clench around nothing when he shifts me back, his hand slipping between our bodies to untie his slacks. I groan when he pulls his cock free, eager as I push my underwear to the side and line him up to my entrance.

“I plan to make love to this perfect cunt from the second you’re tied to me,” He snarls softly and I’m a moaning mess as I sink, taking inch after inch into my wet core, loving how good he stretches me. “A dress would just be an unnecessary obstacle.”

His teeth nip and bite against my throat as he maxes out inside me and I have to brace my hands on his chest to calm myself, stretched so wide, feeling him so deep. He grins at how breathless and desperate I am, seated inside me like this was his home.

“You want me to walk down naked on our wedding day?” I lift my eyes to him, clenching around him and watching his eyes flutter at the feeling. I smirk, cupping his jaw as I slowly roll my hips. “With so many males present?”

His eyes darken. Like death.

“Rhysand, Azriel, Helion, Varian,” I roll my hips again, moaning at the spark of pleasure that runs through me. Cassian’s hands tighten on my hips, hard enough to bruise and my smirk broadens. “Lucien, Jurian, Eris-“

“I will kill them all before letting them see you naked,” Cassian bucks his hips up violently, slamming his cock to the hilt. I choke on a gasp, slumping into his awaiting embrace.

“Every-“ Thrust. “Last-“ Thrust. “Fucking-“ Thrust. “One.”

I cry out as he drives his cock into me, the sound of my arousal dancing through the air, mixing with my moans. Cassian groans, and I can feel that primitive Fae instinct in him as he fucks me as if he wants to imprint himself onto my very skin.

“You’re mine, baby,” His canines bite against the junction of my throat, just as his cock hits a deep, spongey spot inside me. “All fucking mine.”

“I’m yours, Cass,” I whimper, panting as he slides in and out of me at a brutal pace, every shift of his hips rubbing against my swollen clit. “I’m all yours, yours, yours – “

He smiles.

And fucks me for hours like I was his.

And he was mine. 

_________________________________________

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Taking requests for all SJM men x plus size reader!

[obsessivelyloved]

Day 1: Love at First Sight

Full disclosure: I wrote this while drinking so sorry in advance if it flows weird or if there are any weird sentences that don't make sense.

___________________________________________________________

His eyes had been drawn to you. Tord couldn’t put his finger on why. It wasn’t like he made it a habit to ogle movie theater workers. He was always in and out whenever the latest gorey movie came out. The less human interaction he had the better. He got enough interaction from the lowest of humanity at his job. Building robots on the side really brought out the stupidity in people. 

But ever since he stepped foot in the theater, he couldn’t help but sneak glances over at you. You looked bored, standing behind the concession stand. 

You fidgeted with something beneath the counter and swayed a little. 

Tord almost envied you. Not many people buy snacks at the movie theater nowadays. It was much simpler - and cheaper - to sneak some in. 

But something compelled Tord to speak to you, His heart raced as he approached the counter. Fuck his movie, he could afford the first few minutes to talk to you. He swiftly read your nametag and rolled your name around in his head. 

He liked it. It really suit you. Knowing your name made his heart race more. 

  Tord put on his best flirty smile, leaned against the counter, and opened with a line he used frequently at the bar. “They pay you to stand here and look so pretty?”

You stared blankly at him. “Can you repeat that?” you ask flatly. His heart dropped. Shit. Normally that got a chuckle out of the pretty girls and guys at the bar. Or the giggly cashiers at the grocery store.

Tord grinned wider, his sharp teeth glinting in the low light. 

“I said,” he drawls, leaning further over the counter. The scent of buttery popcorn grows stronger. “That you’re way too cute to be working here.” 

He meant it. Really, he did. You kept staring blankly at him. 

“Are you going to buy something or are you just going to harass me?” 

Alright, changing tactics. 

“What do you recommend?” Tord asks, leaning back away from the counter. A rush of heat went down his back. Why did he feel so embarrassed? 

“I’d just get a large popcorn and call it a day,” you answer in that same flat voice. 

Frustration starts to bubble in Tord’s chest. Just what the hell was wrong with this person? Tord was great with people. He was building his own army for fucks sake. People flocked to find him, to join his cause.

Why did he want to impress you so bad

Tord snorts and shakes his head. “You sure know how to upsell a guy. Shit, just a large popcorn? You’re not going to try to convince me to give up my right arm for a candy bucket and a large soda?” 

A slight smile appears on your face for a moment. It makes his heart flutter. 

“I honestly don’t care what you buy. They just pay me to stand here.” 

Tord barks out a short laugh at that. “Really?” he asks. “I’ll take the popcorn then, since you put your heart and soul into convincing me to buy it.”

Whatever faint amusement was on your face was gone in an instant. A vague frustration crossed your face before you spun around to fill up the popcorn bucket. Tord didn’t mind. His gaze lingered on you. You may have acted prickly and above his flirtations, but Tord couldn’t deny that something drew him towards you. 

He wanted to find out what, keep talking to you, and give you his phone number. He wanted a genuine smile, a laugh, and your phone number. 

You turn back around with a full bucket of popcorn. “Eight fifty,” you state blandly, all but slamming the popcorn bucket on the counter. 

Tord pulls out his wallet and hands you a twenty. You give him a sour look as you open up your till and dig for the right amount of change. 

After he receives the right amount, Tord winks at you and slips it all into your tip jar.

“For your stellar service,” he purrs. And then he was off, making a beeline for the room his latest gorey interest was playing. You wouldn't leave his mind the entire time he sat in that theater. His heart raced every time he thought of you. It’d been a while since someone had caught his attention like you had. 

Perhaps you’d be worth the chase. His bed had gotten awfully cold lately since his dearest decided to get into his locked drawer and wield his gun. He’d love them forever but it was time for him to move on. You seemed perfect for him. He couldn’t wait to see you again. 

After all, it was rare for Tord to experience love at first sight.

[cebwrites]

could you write hc's for Zoro, Sanji and Ace (separate) having a dom boyfriend? Like, not just sexual sense, but a bf who likes to have his man on his lap, who spoils his s/o a lot and stuff. Ty !!

a/n: hi anon ofc!! this idea is super cute 💕 full disclosure however that i'm not super familiar with dom/sub dynamics and culture so if i mess something up please correct me!

having a dom boyfriend (Zoro, Sanji, Ace)

masc reader, trans zoro and ace nsfw under the cut word count: 1.4k

Zoro

Roronoa "Demon of the East Blue" Zoro, a man who's so unfamiliar with tenderness and warmth that on the first night he trusts his dom to have his way with him - he cries out of the eye that's long since scarred shut when he receives such unearned affection

Zoro would be the first to reject any notion of a higher power but his devotion to you is almost pious, loyal to the nth degree and willing to sacrifice anything for you as he does for his captain

So for someone to want to return those feelings with overt displays of endearment - it's almost and is overwhelming in a lot of ways, not that he didn't think you wouldn't be willing to go all in, he was just expecting more... subtlety

He'd be lying if he said that being so openly and unabashedly desired, loved, didn't feel good, though

Up until this point, Zoro's always been on top - figuratively and literally with how he rode his previous partners into the sunset - so letting you in with these current new arrangements was a different ordeal entirely

Handing the reigns over and learning to relax, without being the one in control, wasn't easy, but you made sure to repay him handsomely every chance you got with delicate, loving touches and words of praise whispered into his ears

He's surprisingly obedient, and oh so sweet, making the most beautiful sounds you've ever heard from another man as you slowly, carefully, open him up, kiss the scars underneath his pecs and trace the diagonal one across his torso with your tongue

He's desperate, silently begging for you to fully take him already, but Zoro promised not to whine so he bites his tongue like the well-trained beast he is

His reward? Hours of being able to let out as much of his voice as he wants until Zoro's throat is raw or the hotel manager bangs on the door for "the loud one" to quiet down, saccharine sips of sake and kisses in the long moments of aftercare between,

And inevitably being playfully side-eyed by Robin, Franky, and Brook when the two of you stumble back to the Sunny at the crack of dawn, one of your arms around Zoro's sleepy (and a little wobbly) figure no doubt intending to pass out again for another few hours, and the other holding bags of goodies for your mossy boyfriend - most of them alcoholic in content

Sanji

It's a constant fight for Sanji to get used to this, grappling with the need to spoil you and cater to your every whim- and his general feelings of wanting to be swallowed by the earth when you give him a look and say that you're supposed to be spoiling him instead

Blackleg Sanji, someone who's similarly been depraved of affection like his mossy green counterpart, unsurprisingly finds himself bursting at the seams to serve you, the light and love of his life, someone with the angelic kindness to smile upon and choose him of all people to be your sub

You don't question how eager he is to throw himself at your feet "in the presence of a man as dashingly handsome" as you, his words, but you do find it incredibly cute when he melts just a little bit at your quiet affection

It's meant to be purely physical, a pretty stranger who visited your house for the duration of the Strawhats' stay on this island (you'd approached him with your proposition and according to Nwami-swan they'd be stuck here for a few months because of this that and the other, so what the hell, right?)

He wasn't a complete noob, Sanji could figure out what to do and what went where generally, but he was still wholly new to this and near entirely reliant on your guidance - he'd heard of people doing things like this behind closed doors and discussed it with the ladies on Momoiro sure, but actually engaging in it? A completely different story

A glutton for punishment, Nami stares with intent at the rope burns on hairy arms when Sanji rolls his sleeves up to prepare dinner and Usopp pointedly avoids prolonged eye-contact with Sanji if he can help it, Zoro only fixes him with a big ol' Cheshire grin as he's kicked out of the kitchen for trying to smuggle more booze and pointing out certain marks under his collar

Sanji does, however, get a bit squirmy in the aftercare if your touch is a tad too soft, a bit too kind with your words, pad him down with a damp hand towel with just too much tenderness - as if a loving embrace was alien to him or like he felt it wasn't deserved

Sanji always hurried out on these nights, coming back to the ship in a tizz a little out of sorts and praying that no one was there to see him agonizing his commitment allergy over the railing, but on any other occasion he'd stay to make a light snack for the both of you to eat in comfortable silence

On the Strawhats' very last night docked at this island, Sanji made you a beautiful meal and spent the night bending, twisting to your every whim, breaking the news at dinner so you knew this would be your last chance - he was obedient and giving as ever, not once complaining and even encouraged the hand prints on his hips

At dawn he leaves you with breakfast in bed and robbed of a heart, knowing that he was the one (pirate) that got away

Ace

Spoiled and proud of it - Ace is a bratty sub who loves nothing more than to whittle down his lover's very last nerve, reaping the fruits of his hard work when he's bent over that man's desk and hollowed out for hours

He walks with a waddle the next morning but is no less proud of himself every damn time

He can and WILL drain 👏 your 👏 pockets 👏👏👏 - you're paying for breakfast, lunch, and dinner - and whatever cute little lace outfit you (he) think he'll look cute in later

Ace fancies himself a (promiscuous) little jackrabbit and he definitely lives up to that title, it takes a lot to wear him out and god he'll make you work for it, too

He's down to clown in most places that isn't outright in the public eye but he's been known to skirt boundaries with a little persuasion and the need to tease - his favorite by far is the underside of your desk while someone else is on the other side droning on about whatever

Ace lives to tease and he yearns for the punishment from riling you up all day, degradation and being mean isn't frowned upon (in some cases he's waiting for it) but don't go too far or you'll actually hurt his feelings - all that fire has to come from a heart, of course

He's loud and shamelessly proud, even if the place is risqué, even if the neighbors across the street have full view of the curtainless window he's enticed you to fuck him in front of, the neighbors can talk all the shit they want but it doesn't bother him none

He'll sing your praises to the high heavens through punishment or reward, apologies or howls of affection, Ace wants nothing more than for you to know how good you make him feel, mark up your back and have you leave hickeys on his neck in return so everyone knows he belongs to you and you alone

He blows up your pager with messages all day to come to the ship and plow his pussy already, hangs around your work place and shows little flame hearts at you outside the window despite the amount of times you've nagged that he's being a fire hazard, snuggles in your lap on your lunch break that always ends up going 5-10 minutes over the limit - you got an earful from your boss the one time it went over an hour, watching Ace sneakily leaving out the back door and blowing a kiss at you like the little rat (affectionate) he was

Long distance isn't ideal, but he really likes you so he makes it work; if it means he has to be a bratty sub to monopolize your time then so be it, he wants all your attention and he wants it now!

[fischyplier]

In my opinion yall (not you Fisch) need to stop reducing real fucking people to nothing more than "representation," ESPECIALLY "good" or "bad." Full stop. And I'm gonna sound harsh in this ask but I'm not angry, I just feel strongly about this kinda stuff and I'm blunt.

Anyway.

Queer people of ANY kind are not brownie points for corporations or media or *whatever* may be the subject. We aren't here to be cherry picked to check off another box on the "Look!! We're diverse!!" checklist. Dropout isn't inviting guests just to look good like that. It's okay to want to see more people with your identity appear as guests on your favorite show, but holy shit that is *not* the vibe I'm getting from some of these asks and it's a problem.

Is it great to see ourselves in these things? Absolutely. That's a given. But reducing whoever appears on your favorite shows to a checkmark on the Diverse Cast/Guest To-Do List is insane behavior and some of these asks here are crossing into that territory.

And for fucks sake, how many times do queer people have to talk about how giving a shit about how sexual or not sexual a queer person is is a slippery slope that plays into many of our oppressors' hands?? STOP. Let them just be how they are!!

If they're uncomfortable with being sexualized, or ANY treatment they dislike for that matter, they will SAY SO and it is NOT up to you, a random viewer, to ensure something is said at any point. Chances are if there is a problem of *any* kind with something that happens on a show like anything Dropout owns, it'll be talked about behind the scenes. And you are NOT entitled to know for a fact that happens, period. The concern is a great sentiment, but these are adults who know each other, they can and will work things out themselves.

For the love of god please get real about how serious issues would be handled on a show. The internet has poisoned you to assume you are entitled to full disclosure via a nuanced, perfect, well-written statement on social media and you're NOT. Issues should be handled privately and maturely, and all we should get is the confirmation and reassurance something was done and a positive conclusion was reached.

And that's assuming there IS a serious problem involving someone who was on one of these shows. Let's not pretend there aren't fans out there who think how they perceive something is fact and get up in arms about their misinterpretation.

Thanks for the ask! And thank you for your perspective on this!

[notmadebyhumanhands]

Unrequited pt. 2

Even when breaking my heart, you just had to do it beautifully.

I have nothing but respect for you.

I would be lying if I say that I never thought we would be amazing together. Full disclosure -- I envisioned that life with you, but it's one that I will never get to live. The would've, could've, should've beens will be the hill I die on.

You were practically the prayer I said every night. Either the heavens did not listen, or they saw something in the future they were saving me from.

I wanted to think that you were unfair for not even taking a chance on me. I knew I put my heart on the line, laid all cards on the table, and you surprised me, because apparently, the way I feel about you has always been crystal clear to you. And you let me down gently. You rejected me, but in a way that was genuine, full of respect and understanding. And I knew, I knew then that I liked a sincerely nice guy.

You didn't even give me the satisfaction of considering you as a jerk, as a shitty person, because you are not. It would have been easier to hate you if you were, but no. You handled it smoothly, beautifully, that even though there was pain, I was left more in awe of how flawlessly you executed it.

It's one of those things that I really just have to leave up to time. Down the road, I'll miss your face. But will I even cross your mind once in a while? I want to be your favourite regret. My curse is that I will never know if you'll ever think of me, remember me, even as an afterthought, even if it's to say, "there was once this girl who..."

If this were a rom-com, this story would have a happy ending. But this is real life, not a movie. Maybe this is me exiling myself. Either this city is big enough or too small for both of us. But for the sake of my sanity, I hope I never see you again for the rest of my life.

2 days later and I am left relying on endless playlists and copious amounts of caffeine as a way to cope.

But I will be fine. You will be a learning curve. And I will get over you. But for now, there is pain.

-- for Nicolas R.

[monstersinthecosmos]

can i ask what you mean re: disliking how the amc show deals with SA? (zero judgement ftr i just love hearing opinions about this show from other simple italian perv enjoyers. btw you're one of my favorite fic authors ever ever & i think abt gallows bird daily 🙈)

Obviously since you mentioned Gallows Bird in this very ask (thank you btw dskjglads I’m blushing) I’m not going to sit here and say people should never write about rape!!!!!!!!!!!  And I’ve been soul searching and talking this out with a friend today to make sure I’m not just being a hater and that I’m not having cognitive dissonance over the difference between writing porn (intentionally, intended as porn, labeled as porn) vs lazily throwing sexual assault at female characters for “character development”.

(putting this under a cut bc I'm not trying to hate on youse guys's show!!)

It's not that we should never talk about it, or never write about it, but I think it’s like any other storytelling where like, the framework and intention inside the text matters, and criticizing if it landed the way the creator intended is worth discussing. So like, I’m a fan of noncon smut fic, I won’t deny that. I also approach it in a context where I know I’m consuming smut, and it was intended as smut, and it belongs in its own lane. And I think, personally, I enjoy fics (which by nature are anarchistic and transformative) because they tend to be a commentary either on our culture or on the canon source material. Even when fanfics are PWPs that don’t go out of their way to talk about character arcs or make profound commentary on the canon, fanfic EXISTS as a commentary on canon in the first place, so it’s there by default.

So with AMC there’s a few things that really bother me about how they wrote Claudia in S1, and full disclosure I haven’t watched S2 yet, so take this with a grain of salt.

I don’t think it’s cool when a production team of mostly cishet men think that the only way to develop a female character is to have her raped. It’s lazy and it’s hurtful to the audience, and in this particular show it was not handled with sensitivity to make the story worth it. Like, what was the weight of the scene vs what it told us, and what was the payoff? Did the show earn this? (I personally don’t think it did.)

RJ himself said it was to “toughen her up” and that’s just, absolutely fucking nauseating to me, especially when it’s stamped with so many hallmarks of How Not to Write Rape. For example, the fact that they use it to tell us about LOUIS. It’s about LOUIS. It’s not about Claudia at all; we see her assault and the net result is seeing how it affects the MEN in her life. And even using her diary as a framing device for these moments, to tell it from her own words the best they can, it’s still about Louis. The pages being ripped out (in S1, idk how this lands in S2) are about protecting Louis. Claudia didn't remove the pages to protect herself, as far as we know--the men in her life removed them to protect Louis. Fridging a female character for the sake of developing the mens feelings is lazy and obnoxious, and in this story in particular it felt extremely unnecessary to the plot, and adding it at all just came across as gratuitous to me.

(Also, I can tell that this show is like, an exercise in slow burning, but, I just think the bar is really fucking high if they make this all mean something smarter but made everyone sit through this and wait 1.5+ years to get around to tucking it in lol. And like, idk what the pages could possibly say/how they will present it that will change my opinion, but RJ's comments can't be unheard so I'm not sure it matters and the trust simply isn't here, for me. Personally I don't have the patience to wait years for a show to close a loop like this but maybe you're more patient than me.)

I don’t want to get into a whole side essay about how gross I find the Claudia writing in general, but like, as a TLDR the way they aged her up only to reduce her to sex is just so fucking gross to me, and not like in a IT’S HORROR, IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE GROSS way, but in a This Is Kinda Fucking Sexist way. Especially with the sexist comments RJ has made about Anne Rice herself, while piggybacking her IP to make his show. But like, there were OTHER things about Claudia already. They already told us she came from an abusive background. She did not need to be raped for her to come home and recognize the abuse between her parents. Any number of horrific things could’ve happened to her out in the world, but the only way this team knows how to traumatize a girl is to have her raped.

And again I didn’t watch S2 yet so like, I’m not entirely sure how it shakes out, correct me if I’m wrong, but we find out now that it was prolonged and worse than what S1 showed us?

Like, why.

Who does the torture porn serve. We already got it, it was already horrific. We already got it. You’re overselling lol.

Claudia is already tough. She survived her dismal mortal life, she survived Lestat. She was brave enough to wander into the world, not just as a teen, but as a Black girl! She was already independent! In the book, she was the driving force behind helping Louis escape Lestat, and she was pulling the strings in getting them to Europe. The show has that material to pull from. We can see that she’s strong already. We don’t need more rape to communicate it. It’s lazy and gross. Especially when, in the same episode, they are able to traumatize Louis with horrific violence. The show knew how to use violence, mind gift manipulation, race and age and power dynamics in ways that did not involve rape, but still chose to have Claudia raped.

I don’t have an issue with stories talking about sexual assault but I think like, especially after Game of Thrones, we’ve had like, 10 years of media criticism mapping out how to write sexual assault successfully or respectfully, we’ve had endless commentary about how we can find other ways to traumatize women that do not rely on sexual assault, we’ve had endless commentary about how stories about sexual assault would be more effective if they were about the victim and not ultimately about the men in the story.  Like, enough of this already.

So, I’ll be curious to see how the show handles Armand’s sexual assault history, and if we see the writing handled differently because he’s a man, or because we have him directly on screen to tell us about it. This might reveal if this is a like, “only tool in the toolbox is rape” situation or a “women exist in fiction to be raped” situation. But if Lestat suffered at the hands of Magnus without being raped and Louis suffered at the hands of Lestat without being raped*, I have to ask why it was okay to have Claudia raped, why that was the thing they came up with, and while they can’t backpedal and fix the way RJ spoke about it during S1, they have an opportunity to be more intentional with the way they write it for Armand.

(*I do want to add that S1E5 being bookended by blood drinking was a hint that Lestat drinking from Louis during their fight was also rape, contrasted by the way Louis drinks from Armand in the beginning as ~ lovemaking ~; imo that could've been a more tasteful way to handle it in this universe specifically, when that’s the sex analog in the books. So like, yes in some ways Louis was raped by Lestat in this episode, but that also shows we respect Louis enough to have it symbolic vs Claudia’s being literal.)

But I just have a real bad feeling, the way they made Lestat WAY WORSE I just imagine they’ll do the same to Marius. And it’s sort of ironic that the show in a lot of ways exists in conversation with the book canon, like, the racial commentary feels at times like a commentary on the books’ racism, and I wonder what the decision making process was when they were picking which themes to correct, or comment on. Because a LOT of people criticize themes of rape and abuse in VC, and in some ways the show making it more overt feels like they’re putting a huge spotlight on it to acknowledge it properly, and in other ways, having Claudia raped feels like it’s going down the same path of insensitive, shallow writing.

And also, idk where I’m supposed to tuck this thought lol, but as an addendum I can’t not mention that I think it’s really fucked up that they’ve talked nonstop about how much they respect AR and the canon and yet had the analog character of her daughter raped. Like, in S1 they burn the tapes, in S2 they mock the plotlines as being a soap opera, and they have her daughter raped. Like, Claudia was the REASON for VC in the first place. IWTV is about Anne Rice grieving her daughter, and it sucks that the best way they could come up with existential cosmic horror for a teen girl vampire was to give her a perma-hymen and have her raped. It’s just gross, I don’t like it lol.

The first quote I saw from RJ when the show got announced, he said something like "IWTV was written by a grieving mother" -- not Anne Rice, best selling author who reinvented the vampire genre, but "a grieving mother." And it's just, idk. Rubs me the wrong way that he can reduce her that way and be this disrespectful for the character based on her daughter. =/

[aihoshiino]

A Starter on B-Komachi Spotting

One of the things I most wish we knew more about in Oshi no Ko is B-Komachi - the peeks we get into their group dynamic in 45510 and especially Viewpoint B are always super interesting to me but in the manga itself, we get shockingly little info about them. We can't even match all their names to their faces! With a little sleuthing though, I've managed to identify three of the six unnamed members which should help us narrow down the remaining girls, with a bonus tinhoil hat headcanon that I'm going to finally table. With that said, let's give it a shot!

The No-Brainers

These ones are easy enough that I'm not giving myself any credit for them but I'm mentioning them for completion's sake. Hopefully if you care enough about Oshi no Ko to read this post you recognize Ai on sight, but did you know another B-Komachi member was identified by name too?

In the Episode 1 BTS video, some settei (concept art/animation refs) for the first episode's preproduction were shown and among them was a B-Komachi member.

At the bottom of the character turnaround, you can see the settei is labelled "めいめい" which is read as 'Meimei'. Case closed!

Interestingly, Mei is also namedropped in Viewpoint B and it stated to have written lyrics for at least one of B-Komachi's songs around when Ai was fourteen. Maybe we've got her to thank for Heart's♡Kiss?

The Deeper Digs

So, full disclosure – credit for this first ID goes to users thePermianwascool and ali94127 as they pointed out all these details in my Viewpoint B thread a few months ago. I'm just getting it all in one spot!

Viewpoint B, like 45510, is narrated by an unidentified B-Komachi member but we have just enough details about who she is in the story to put a face to her and it's the B-Komachi member in yellow with the penguin hairpin:

Her member colour is yellow

VB-chan left B-Komachi before the first gen disbanded and accordingly, Penguin Girl is one of the members missing from the final concert.

I don't think it's a stretch to call that one a slam dunk.

Interestingly, the fleeting connection between the Viewpoint B narrator and Ai is the heart of that sidestory and it meant enough to Ai that even years after that single conversation, she considers the narrator her closest friend in B-Komachi. And if you pay attention to the anime art, our Viewpoint B narrator suspect is almost always placed directly at Ai's side with a consistency that feels intentional.

Maybe Ai really did have a friend by her side all this time.

In addition to our narrator, Viewpoint B also identifies another B-Komachi member called Kanan. While this is not a name we've heard before, B-Komachi members are also referred to by fans by cute, affectionate nicknames in-universe. As such, it's possible that she is the 'Kyun' that Sarina refers to in episode/chapter 1.

The other identifying feature we're told about is Kanan's long, silky black hair. In the lineup there are only two unidentified B-Komachi members with long hair and only one with hair I would say reads as black to me.

The girl with the panda pin.

In addition, this post is mostly spoiler free but for Oshi no Sickos who are caught up on the current arc, here are some ROT13 filtered spoilers from the manga that make me slightly more confident in calling this shot.

Xnan'f ebyr va 15 Lrne Yvr vf na nf-bs-guvf-cbfg havqragvsvrq O-Xbznpuv zrzore. Va zber be yrff gur fnzr oerngu gung guvf cbvag vf rfgnoyvfurq, Xnan vf nyfb gurzngvpnyyl pbaarpgrq gb gur vzntrel bs cnaqnf juvpu jbhyq zngpu Xnana'f navzny zbgvs. Vg nyfb cebonoyl whzcrq bhg ng lbh jvgubhg zr fnlvat vg ohg abgr gur fvzvynevgvrf va gurve anzrf, gbb – Xnan naq Xnana.

Someone Stop This Girl Cooking

This part of the post is where I stray out of reasonable assumptions and into wild speculation territory but it's speculation I feel is backed up enough by the source that I don't want to entirely discount it. While this isn't strictly an ID, I do want to call attention to a character I think may be more important than she initially appears to be: the B-Komachi member in blue with the hamster hairpin.

Of the B-Komachi members, she is the only one other than Ai to have a distinctly fantastical hair colour - the other girls all have varying degrees of unnatural shades but Hampter Girl and Ai both stand out as having very distinctly 'anime' looking hair.

In addition, she is given a lot of passing but very notable focus but the anime's framing. She is one of the two other B-Komachi members who join Ai in the private performance of Sign wa B where the twins perform their lightstick dance and is the center of the trio of B-Komachi members we see at Ai's funeral.

Shun Sawai - one of episode 1's character designers and animators - also posted some official art that has her front and center of B-Komachi.

If these aren't just coincidences, it's possible she's being given some attention because she has some importance to the plot or the story as a whole. And why would that be?

As we've already established, Penguin Girl here is our Viewpoint B narrator...

So what if our Hamster Girl is the narrator of 45510?

If this is the case, that would make our Blue B-Komachi member one of the three founding girls paid homage to with Ai's passcode - Nino, Watanabe or Takamine. Picking entirely at random, I'm choosing to headcanon her as Takamine for the time being.

Keep in mind that this section of the post is strictly speculation of course! I just think it would be a nice fit.

[on-my-vigilante-sht]

Between a Wolf and a Hound II

Sandor Clegane x Baratheon!Reader, Robb Stark x Baratheon!Reader

Summary: The new Lady of the North tries to cope with the fact that she is now married and has a responsibility to her husband.

Warnings: Full disclosure I wrote this in sections over the course of like two months so it's a bit jumbled. POV will randomly switch from first to third and back to first with no clear indication (sorry).

Real Warnings: Arranged marriage, cursing, angst, fighting, smut, public consummation, non/dubcon (didn't enter marriage willingly, therefore consummation is not consensual esp with witnesses)

Word Count: 4.4K

Part I | Masterlist

Rounding a corner that went towards the stables I found the large stature of Sandor walking away from me. “Sandor,” I called softly. I had already been ready to burst but upon seeing his pained expression I burst into tears as I approached. “Sandor,” I cried again as I reached him.

He pulled me into his body as I began to cry. Eventually scooping up my legs as he sat down so I was set in his lap. I buried my face into his beard as I continued to cry. “I-I’m so-sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing, little one? I know you didn’t choose that.”

“I didn’t think you’d be in the room.”

“It’s okay, takes a lot more than that to break me,” Sandor said, hiding the fact that he was on his way to drink himself to sleep. Both because of what he had seen and to cope with the fact that he’d never see her again after tomorrow.

“It hurt,” I cried.

Sandor reached his hand between my legs, just gently grazing me. He pulled his hand back and in the dim lighting of the hall he could see blood coating his fingers. “I know it did,” he said softly, remembering her cries for Robb to stop. “But it’ll get better when you’re not in front of an audience.”

“I don’t want it to get better, I just want you.”

“I know, me too,” Sandor sympathized. As he held her, the princess’s head tucked under his chin, he mustered up the strength to say the next words. “But you’re going to learn to be happy like Cat Stark did. You’re gonna fall in love with him, have his children, and be the highborn you are. Now, I’m gonna take you to your husband and say you got lost because if anyone catches me with you in this state, only my head will make it to King’s Landing.”

“No,” I pleaded, realizing the finality of his words. “Please I can never love him like you.”

“Try to, little one. For my sake, try to,” he said before gently pushing me off his lap. As he stood up, he pulled me up from the floor. Once I was steady on my feet, Sandor leaned down and kissed me. Our last kiss. I savored it, memorizing how he felt and tasted. When he pulled away, he lingered a little. His large fingers gently brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, his hands still gently grasping my face. He stepped away from me with a sigh, heading down the hall.

I walked with him, silently. I kept my gaze focused on the floor, too devastated to act like the Lady of the North I was supposed to now be. When we reached my new chambers, Sandor knocked for me. Robb opened the door, still wearing only his pants. “Your bride got lost,” was all Sandor said.

Robb nodded. “Thank you, for bringing her here,” he said, stepping aside for me to enter.

I held myself tightly as I walked across the threshold into Robb’s room. “Take care of her,” I faintly heard Sandor.

“I will,” came Robb’s reply before the door shut. I observed the room, it was warm looking despite the cold. There was a fire crackling in the hearth, the stone floors covered by rugs, both woven and made from animal skins. Several candles and torches lit the room, giving it a warm glow and the bed was made, several warm furs piled upon it. A maid came out of a room connected to Robb’s immediately exiting into the hall without a word. “I figured you’d enjoy a warm bath, after tonight,” he mumbled the last part, almost as if in shame.

“That is kind, thank you,” I said, heading into the en-suite. My husband followed after me, stopping at the door as I stood by the tub.

“Take as long as you like,” he said before stepping back, shutting the door and leaving me alone.

I quickly disrobed, eager to be warm again as I slipped into the bath. I soaked into the warmth for a long time. I don’t know how long but long enough for Robb to come looking for me. I only snapped to attention when I heard him call my name. Looking over, I found him standing beside the tub. “Are you alright? I called for you several times.”

“Uh- yes,” I answered. “I was just uh thinking, I suppose.”

He nodded solemnly before kneeling beside me. “Look, I am aware you didn’t want this marriage and I’m sorry about the bedding ceremony. But I promise to be a good husband and I won’t force myself on you. I have a sense that you may be in love with someone else?” I just looked down into the water, my hands crossed over my bent knees. Robb’s gaze followed, reaching his hand into the water to grasp mine. “This water is freezing, little doe,” he suddenly gasped.

I once again brought my attention to the world, realizing I was in fact cold. Robb dropped my hands, going over to where the servant had left a towel. He brought it over, wrapping it around me as I stepped out of the tub. Quickly urging me out of the washroom, he sat me down on a fur rug next to the fireplace. He stood beside me, hovering, as if unsure what to do. “Yes,” I spoke, answering his question from earlier. “It is true, I’ve spent the last year loving another man but he’s gone now. And I have every intention of making our marriage a happy one, of hopefully growing to love each other one day. I see how your parents interact, I want the same for us. For my worst nightmare would be ending up like my own parents. I will just need some time.”

Robb grabbed a fur blanket from hi— our bed. He kneeled before me, wrapping it around my shoulders. “Of course,” he agreed.

~

The next morning I woke up alone in Robb’s bed, wrapped in both the towel and several blankets. Surveying the room, my trunk laid beside the door. Leaving the warm bed, I went over, pulling out one of the many warm dresses that had been packed for me. Before leaving the chambers, I went to the window, hoping to see the view I’d have for the rest of my life. It was just like any view in Winterfell, grey skies and miles of pine trees. But this window faced down into the courtyard as well where I could see three figures practicing with their swords. I recognized them as Robb, his brother Jon Snow, and Theon Greyjoy whom had been hanging around Robb at the feasts. Several of my father’s men stood around, watching them spar, a few occasionally joining in. Surrounding them were the bustling movements of servants packing up my family’s belongings as well as Lord Stark’s as he would be the new Hand of the King.

I stepped away from the window with a sigh before heading out, intending to find my mother and some breakfast. In one of the smaller dining halls, I stumbled upon Lady Stark and her daughter Sansa. “My apologies,” I said as I interrupted their conversation.

“No need to apologize, I was hoping to see you,” my new mother-in-law smiled. “Please, eat,” she said, gesturing to an empty seat.

“Well then forgive me for holding you,” I apologized, taking a seat. A servant immediately placed a plate and silverware for me. “I don’t normally wake up so late.”

“Once again, no need to apologize,” she smiled. “Robb and I both told the servants not to disturb you. You had a demanding night.” I smiled shyly as I grabbed a pastry from the center of the table.

“Is King’s Landing as dirty as they say it is?” my sister-in-law suddenly asked.

I smiled at her question. “The city is quite dirty, and loud. But as long as you don’t wander too far out of the Red Keep, you will be perfectly fine. And should you ever venture out into the city, bring a guard or two. If not for your protection but to make your day less overwhelming. The merchants descend like vultures when they see nobles.”

“Do you miss it?”

I pondered for a second. “In some ways, yes,” I miss Sandor, “I’ll miss the warmth. In some ways, no, I like that it’s quiet here.”

Sansa hummed before looking to her mother. “May I be excused? I have to ensure everything has been packed.”

Lady Stark looked at her daughter sadly before agreeing. As Sansa left, I spoke up. “It must be hard, first little Bran and now your husband and daughters are leaving? Not to mention you had already been forced to leave your family when you married Lord Stark.”

She shrugged solemnly. “It is my duty,” was all she said. “I’m sure your mother is pained to leave you here.”

“Between us,” I began, already finding more comfort in Catelyn Stark than I ever had in my mother, “I don’t think so. She’s always favored her fairer haired children. I was looking forward to joining your family, it’s a shame they’re all leaving so soon.”

“Yes, well, it gets easier as you start a family of your own.” I just hummed, unsure if I was ready for that or not. “Ned told me last night was a little rough on you, I’m sorry you had to endure a public bedding ceremony.”

I tried to not let my mortification show. “Yes, well, afterwards Robb was apologetic. I understand he didn’t intend to harm me, I know he is an honorable man. You raised a good son, Lady Stark.”

She smiles graciously. “Thank you, and please, call me Cat. How are you finding the North?”

“You certainly have quite the culture. The people here are all so… overwhelmingly loyal to each other. And I am not of here.”

“Yes, harsh winters do that to a community. I can’t help but feel like an outsider here too. Ned always tells me that I am of the North now, I’m sure Robb will tell you the same.”

Just then, a servant entered. “The Queen requests her highness in her chambers.” I gave Cat one last grateful look before following after the servant. As I approached Cersei’s temporary chambers, I could see the door was already open as servants carried her belongings out. But as I entered, each one left, the last shutting the door behind her.

“Mother?” I called as she stood, staring out the window.

“I heard you bled last night?” was all she said, not bothering to turn to me.

“Yes,” I agreed.

“Good,” she said. She finally turned. “We’ll be off within the hour, I trust you know how to behave like the Lady you now are?” She said Lady with disgust. She had gone from Lady Lannister to Queen Baratheon while her daughter went from Princess Baratheon to Lady Stark, an incredible dishonor in her eyes. She was angry at Robert for doing that to her.

“Yes.”

“Good, try not to cry the next time your husband beds you,” she sniped with a dismissive wave. I felt tears prick my eyes as I turned, leaving her chambers.

I made my way outside, finding the youngest Stark daughter swinging around a small sword in a deserted area. Upon seeing me, she stepped back in fright, dropping the sword. “Please don’t tell anyone,” she immediately begged.

“Don’t worry, I won’t. A woman with a sword is a powerful thing.”

“It is?”

I smiled down at the young girl. I prayed Cersei never got her hands hand on girl. “Women have brains, men have brawn. And men are terrified when women have both.”

“And what about men? Can they have both?”

“I’ve never heard of a man with much of a brain,” I laughed. “If I were you, I’d hide the sword before your mother comes looking for you to say her goodbyes.” Arya nodded, running off eagerly.

I continued on, finding myself amongst the men I had viewed from the window earlier. They parted as they noticed me, allowing me to obtain a view of my husband as he sparred with a guard. Spying Jon Snow I approached. “Your brother is quite the swordsmen,” I announced my presence.

He gave a slight bow, “Your Highness.”

I just waved a dismissive hand. “No need for titles with family. Besides, I’m no longer a princess, just a lady now,” I beamed. While my mother saw this change of title as humiliating, I was relieved to be released from that life.

“Well if you think Robb is impressive, you should see me fight,” Jon laughed.

Neither of us noticed the man approaching us. “Exaggerating your skills to my wife, aren’t we now?” Robb asked rhetorically.

“Well it’s not exaggerating if it’s true,” Jon laughed.

Robb just shook his head dismissively. “Ignore him, little doe. He’s known for his over-embellishments. I apologize for not being there when you woke. I had some things to attend to and some of your father’s men were getting a bit bold. Had to show these Southerners real, Northern toughness.”

“It’s quite all right, I don’t generally wake up that late.”

He looked at me sympathetically. “You had a strenuous night, physically and emotionally. It’s only natural you wake up a bit later.”

“I had breakfast with your mother. A lovely woman, really.”

“Yes, she is very kind. I hope you’re finding Winterfell to your liking so far. It will be much quieter by this evening.”

“Yes, I’m enjoying the quiet so far. King’s Landing is far louder in comparison.”

“Well I’m glad,” he smiled.

“Oi, Stark!” a voice shouted from across the field. “Are you gonna keep flirting with the girl or are you gonna fight like a man?”

“Go,” I said with a laugh. “Prove your worth.” Robb smiled once again, pressing a chaste kiss to my cheek before heading towards the new guard. Glancing around, I found the large stature of Sandor. I felt physically ill at the thought of him seeing my exchange with Robb. Roles reversed, my heart would shatter if I had to watch another woman kiss him or make love to him like last night.

I slipped back into the crowd, trying to covertly maneuver my way to him. Upon reaching him, I gently brushed my fingers against his arm. But he didn’t look at me, keeping his gaze on the sparring match ahead. “Sandor…”

“I trust your husband is treating you well?” he asked, his gaze unwavering.

“Uh-yes, Lord Stark is a very decent man.”

“Good, or else I’d have to cut off his head within his own walls.” I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. “I should’ve done it when you were begging him to stop fucking you.”

“Sandor-”

“I hope he treats you well, little one, I really do. But I don’t particularly enjoy seeing him put his hands on what’s mine.”

I sighed. “Well for what it’s worth, I’ll always be yours.” He just grunted in acknowledgement, still never looking at me as I walked away, dejected.

~

“Would you like to go lie down? Eat something?” I asked Cat gingerly. Ever since the maester had mentioned a small fever she had thrown everyone else out of Bran’s room so Robb asked me to go in as a last resort. “I’ll watch Bran, he’ll be in good hands.” She didn’t say anything. “It won’t be for long. Don’t wrack yourself with more anxiety, you should walk it off. I’ve nursed my brothers and plenty of soldiers back to health. I will send someone to fetch you should the slightest thing happen.” Cat stared at her son longingly before bursting into tears.

“I need him to be okay,” she sobbed repeatedly.

“But you are not okay. Worrying yourself sick without a release will do Bran no good. What will he do if he wakes up and his mother is too exhausted to hold him?” She continued to cry but this time she stood up, exiting the room. A guard outside met her, bringing her to her chambers. So I settled in her seat, observing the younger Stark boy.

A few minutes passed and Robb came in. “I was told you had managed to get my mother to rest. I am very impressed,” he praised. He went to the window, opening the shutters. The howling of the wolves, crying for their masters, filtered in the window.

“Don’t be so hard on your mother. First her son falls to what should be his death and then her husband and daughters leave.”

“I know but…” he suddenly became quiet. “Fire! You stay here, I’ll come back,” he shouted before running off.

Taken aback, I stood up, heading to the window. Amongst the darkness was a small, glowing blaze alight on a small structure. Turning my gaze away, I found a hooded figure standing behind me, in front of Bran’s bed. “You’re not supposed to be here,” he said. “No one’s supposed to be here.” Utterly confused and unnerved I barely had time to react as he pulled out a knife, stepping towards me. But by the time I had come to my senses he had me pressed against the wall, knife poised to slit my throat. I heard myself yell, my hands reaching up to block the blade. One was immediately sliced open but the other caught where his hand was wrapped around the blade and I managed to push his hand away enough to give me room to move. I shoved him backwards but he took me with him, throwing my body to the ground. But before he could finish anything a blur of brown and grey pounced on top of him, tearing at his throat.

“Thank you,” I whispered to the dire wolf as he settled on the bed, next to his master.

“Lady Stark I heard…” came the breathless voice of a guard as he observed the carnage in the room. Another guard ran in, having a similar reaction to the carnage. “Get Lord Stark,” the first ordered. The second complied, running off. “You’re hurt, my Lady.”

“I am alright,” I dismissed. I couldn’t help but think that Sandor would be proud of me for fighting back and keeping myself alive. He had been the one that taught me how to fight. Standing up, I went over to Bran, checking him. Careful to not smear my blood on him with my injured hand.

Suddenly Robb entered, out of breath. “You’re hurt,” he pointed out in shock upon seeing my blood soaked hand. He was best to me in an instant, taking my wounded hand gently. “What happened?”

“Immediately after you left I went to see the fire from the window. When I turned around that man was in the room. Said that no one was supposed to be in here before he attacked me,” I explained. “He tried to slit my throat but I caught the blade. He was about to kill me when Bran’s wolf saved both our lives.”

“Come, let’s get you to the maester so he can fix your hand and take your statement,” he said gently, leading me out of the room with an arm around me.

~

“Your Grace,” a servant approached the King as he sat eating, “a raven from Winterfell brought this.” Ned perked up at the mention of Winterfell. The boy held up a small roll of parchment.

Robert took it, unrolling it. Ned sat anxiously as the king read. “There was an attack on your younger son’s life,” Robert told his old friend. “He is unharmed but apparently my daughter took the brunt of the attack to protect him.”

“Is she…?” Ned trailed off, not wanting to utter the death of his new daughter-in-law and the King’s daughter into existence.

“It says she is alright, just a little shaken up and a nasty cut on her hand,” he grumbled. “So much for your son’s promise to protect her.” Ned stayed silent at the comment, knowing that Robb was surely kicking himself at the injury of his new wife. “Someone bring me The Hound!” Robert suddenly bellowed. “Tell him he’s going back to Winterfell.”

~

I was simply eating lunch, minding my own business when I suddenly heard shouts coming from outside. Peering out the window I saw a familiar figure riding in the gate. Several guards stood before Sandor, attempting to block his entrance. I knew that this would not end well if this altercation became physical so I rushed down the stairs and outside.

As I approached the bickering men, I found my husband observing them. He was far enough away that he wouldn’t disturb them but close enough to intervene should he need to. I was still decently far away when Sandor suddenly jumped from Stranger’s back, unsheathing his sword. As the guards began to attack, I ran towards them, screeching for them to stop.

I was so fixated on Sandor I didn’t even notice Robb until he had me caught around the waist, blocking me from reaching them. “Sandor! Stop! All of you stop,” I screeched but they ignored me.

Seeing how desperate his wife was, Robb finally spoke up. “That’s enough!” he yelled. “As Lord of Winterfell I order you to cease.” All the guards fell still at their Lord’s command, Sandor also falling still.

I ripped myself from Robb’s grip, going to my guard. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be halfway to King’s Landing by now?”

“Your father sent me back. He received word of your attack,” he explained, taking my bandaged hand gently. “He wanted you protected, seeing as your husband failed at that,” he said with a pointed glare towards Robb.

Turning to him, I could see him clench his jaw at Sandor’s comment. “Lady Stark, a word?” I moved to approach him, Sandor following. “No, not the Hound, just you.”

“My orders are to resume my post as the princess’ sworn shield. Wherever she goes, I go.”

“I am Lord of Winterfell and you are on my land, speaking about my wife. I will decide on all matters related to her.”

“I’m here on your king’s orders, regarding the safety of his daughter. A duty you failed.”

“Enough,” I shouted at both men. “We will all go inside where Robb and I can speak in private.” Both begrudgingly agreed, Robb leading us straight to our chambers. He left Sandor outside his door before guiding me into the en-suite washroom.

“The Hound is the man you love, isn’t he?” Robb immediately demanded, fuming. I was completely blindsided, not anticipating that this is what he wanted to talk about. “You nearly ran into a sword fight for him. You could be dead if it weren’t for me.”

“Robb-”

“I tried to let him stay with you, I spoke up for him because I thought it would make this transition easier for you.”

“Robb please…”

“No, he’s not staying here. Your father is welcome to send another guard but I won’t be sharing our bed with a dog. You said yourself you intend to make our marriage happy and to try to fall in love with me. We cannot have a happy marriage with your dog constantly nipping at my heels.”

I stepped closer to my husband, venom coursing through my veins. “Send him away and I will hate you forever.”

“Try me,” he growled. “You will either grow to love me or your disdain will eat you alive. I accept the fact that you loved someone before me, I am giving you time, but I do not need to offer your lover room in my home or a place in my bed.”

“Fine, send him away, but I beg you not to tell anyone. They will have his head if they knew.”

Robb sighed, observing his wife's desperate expression. “I won't. We will speak later tonight,” he said before storming out to send Sandor away. I stayed in Robb’s room until I was sure they were both gone. I could never bear the heartbreak of seeing Sandor as he was sent away. I also couldn’t stand the thought of sharing a bed with Robb tonight so I went to one of the many guest rooms, setting up there.

I managed to stay there all day without being found. It wasn’t until night fell and I was intent to go to bed that the door opened, revealing my husband. I sat up from my comfortable position on the bed. “What are you doing here?”

Robb began stripping off his clothes until he was only in his trousers. “You are my wife, I am your husband, we share a bed,” he declared, sliding into bed next to me.

“My parents don’t share a bed.”

“And you said your greatest fear was ending up like them.”

Defeated, I huffed, laying back down. I turned away from him but his arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled himself closer so his body molded to mine. “I’m sorry I sent him away but I know you understand why I did it. Would you rather we continuously hurt each other by bringing others into our marital bed? I love you, little doe, I won’t let our marriage become merely a bargaining tool.”

I stayed silent, reflecting on his words. I did understand why he sent Sandor away, our marriage could not be happy with a third person in it. Understanding but still angry, my hand found his, the one that he had slipped below the pillow underneath my head. Upon feeling my grasp, Robb nuzzled himself further into me, the arm around my waist squeezing me tighter and his face finding its place in the crook of my neck.

Part I | Masterlist

[consumeroflemoans]

Hello, ask and you shall receive even if belated by about about three days

I sat down with the post about the scuba diver and the mer and thought about it a bit, Vilidia because what else would it be

Full disclosure, I've never really been diving, scuba or otherwise, so forgive any potential inaccuracies

Also, when you said "like a curious seal" I immediatly went "Selkie", so because of that and for the sake of variety, but mostly because I want to, we're doing selkies this time around

I can imagine either of them taking any given position, Vil just seems like he might enjoy it, the full immersion of water as the space around you is taken up by something other than air, creating a feeling between perhaps the closest thing to weightlessness we have on the planet and the surrounding pressure putting its effect on the body, changing with the depths you reach, combined with the sights you see below the surface, the often mesmerizing ways in which space and that within it arranges itself underwater, the way the perception of everything around you would become other from the usual, diving alone would presumably have an element of silence and the inherent seperation from the regular that comes with entering a an atmosphere different to your own

I can see him both finding a fascination for everything he sees down there and appreciating being able to get a full break from everything, a fan of being part of a different world for a bit

It's a hobby he likes to indulge in every once in a while, when he can make room in his scheduel

So Vil goes diving, nothing out of the ordinary, looking around he spots a seal that he for a moment thinks is looking at him strangely, but it swims further away the moment he as much as turns his head towards it, so that's that

Everything continues on as normal, though he may feel lightly watched

He gets out of the water and shortly after a seal follows, though it keeps about six feet of distance and seems to be trying to to hide itself behind a big rock, pretty unsuccesfully at that, not only is it not fully hidden from view in the first place, but it keeps repeatedly poking out its head from behind the rock to look at him

It's a bit perplexing and what would you even realistically do in this situation, Vil decides to try waving at it and while at first it just gets him the most wide eyed deer in headlights stare he ever received from a seal, eventually it seems to try waving back, there's a moment where he tilts his head and it mirrors the movement, then to the other side as well, it's fun, it feels like he's having a little moment with a seal, eventually he moves to remove some of his diving gear and in turn hands come out of the seal and take its skin off, peeling it back like a blanket

And then there's a person there, he's kinda cute, but Vil isn't incredibly hung up on that in the moment because he just watched a guy peel himself out of an animal like the worlds most fucked up orange, or considering the blog maybe lemon, Idia is just sitting there with the empty seal pelt over his shoulders looking at Vil like "Hey, what's your name?"

Now for diver Idia, while I don't think it's likely that he would willingly go diving, a scenario where he built Ortho an underwater gear would be plausible, all his gears are at least to some extent water proof, but immersing yourself completly in water is still not a good idea when you're body is made out of machinery, after several tests in the shower and the bathtub to make sure everything is completly safe it's finally time for the real deal

Ortho is so excited, his gear has convertable legs that can transform into a tail with separate sections similar to these movable shark toys, along with arm fins and a back with a glowing streak leading along the edge of them, it's all around awesome and he can't wait to go swimming

Idia already had to come along to make sure everything is up and running during the big gear debut, might as well get him into the water too, though it turns out that impromptu diving isn't the most succesful idea when you barely know how to swim in the first place

Yeah, someone gets a little lost after Ortho decides to go test a little further out where the water's deeper

Anything but ideal, though honestly? It's definetly not his scene at all, but it is kinda fun, just going around looking at everything in silence

Oh, it looks so cool and it's pretty intresting to get to see it all up close, he's lived underwater most of his life, the whole thing was right next door so there's nothing he's particulary unfamiliar with on an objective level, but it's not like he could have opened a door and stepped out of the dome to actually get a closer look so there was always that degree of seperation to what he saw outside in the form of a thick sheet of glass

Admittedly the Isle of Woe was a little deeper down and up here there are a considerably smaller amount of natural atrocities, it still counts though

The fish up there are almost a little cute with how small they are, the biggest thing here is a seal, he's not sure if there are a lot of seals in the area or if he's just seeing this one again and again, but he's starting to feel slightly nervous about the seal following him, it's suspicious, mildly threatening even, there is malice behind those big black eyes, he can feel it

Alternatively he could probably also be so enthusiastic about being The Chosen of the seal, what an honour, what a privilege to be deemed worthy by this beautiful creature

Eventually he does have to actually find his way to land though so he swims up, if he has one of those inflatible vests that give you some buoyancy he probably pulls that and now he's on the surface again, but what direction is the right one?

At this point the seal or more accurately Vil starts to notice that it's really looking like this guy does not have a clue in what direction he's supposed to go here, so deciding to be nice he swims up to Idia and pulls him to where he saw him come from onto some kind of solid surface, taking off his pelt and taking his hand into his own to fully walk there with him

Idia is monentarily stunned, for both seal-turned-into-person and pretty-boy reasons

And also after some consideration, along with consultation of a friend, it is finally decided that you can call me :]

-Leuchtturm

Hi omg thank you for turning the ravings of a madman into something I am kicking my legs giggling.

The part with Idia being the mer is literally exactly what I was amazing and it is so cute. I do think Vil would love diving. I like to think he got certified once for a movie and fell in love with the idea of having a little world to himself.

Even though rule #1 of diving is never go by yourself. Ahagauav Rook would join him as a dive buddy I’m sure. Dude’s the kind of guy to get certified and occasionally go on multiple day trips and just. Never tell anyone.

He would just keep an eye on Vil and the seal not so subtly stalking him.

But I digress.

And then there's a person there, he's kinda cute, but Vil isn't incredibly hung up on that in the moment because he just watched a guy peel himself out of an animal like the worlds most fucked up orange, or considering the blog maybe lemon, Idia is just sitting there with the empty seal pelt over his shoulders looking at Vil like "Hey, what's your name?"

Thank you for this I cackle every single time I read it this is literally perfect. My brain is dying but just know I sounded like a dying chicken the first time I read this

OK NOW FOR IDIA BECAUSE I HAVE IDEAS

First of all, I feel like Idia would love the tech aspect of diving a lot. The actual practice? Not so much.

The whole fire aspect of his hair is a major factor for one, but I do think that could be solved by designing a fireproof wetsuit hood. Or hell, even using a dry suit would work.

(For those not in the know. Wetsuits are more common and keep you warm by trapping in your body heat using water. Dry suits require special certifications to use. They insulate you with air, allowing you to stay dry and even go deeper underwater because you’re not as effected by the water temperature)

Using a drysuit would allow Idia to go into the depths with Ortho and also would protect his fire hair essentially.

Also it would depend on how deep they go, but Idia’s situation is one of a diver’s worst nightmares.

With the certifications I have (advanced open water mainly) I can go down to 30 meters/100 ft. It’s definitely not as dark in the ocean at that depth as it is in lakes/quarries, but it still gets dark pretty quick.

Getting lost in that situation is one of the most terrifying things that can happen. Because, another fun note, you also have less air the deeper you go. That means less time to figure out where you are and ascend.

(This is on an o2 tank and assuming Idia doesn’t have a rebreather)

Thank goodness Vil is there because I know I would have been so damn traumatized. Idia has a cute seal to focus on as he ascends to the surface.

Also me being a scuba nerd once more, standard scuba gear comes with a BCD or Buoyancy Control Device. So once Idia’s on the surface he should be able to inflate that just fine (:

Aaaaaa oh my gosh the thought of Vil just grabbing Idia and dragging him towards land is so cute. Man’s so helpful he deserves a kiss on his cute seal head.

And then Idia’s savior turns into a hot guy and just brings him onto shore. Bro is flabbergasted and just holds onto Vil’s hand, staring at him

Iacsuaav omg my crazed rambles ended up being less cute gay people and more me rambling about my way too many scuba certs 😭😭😭

I need to write something properly for them I swear

Someone lock me to my computer and make me type

[scuttle-buttle]

In full disclosure, I haven't seen MOTA yet (seeing all of your recent posts is pushing it higher up my list!! Especially since I love BoB so much) - but what are your thoughts/HCs for Crosby and/or Rosie for (and apologies if these are already addressed... otherwise just have fun with what you want 😊):

Favorite holiday? Any traditions that they particularly enjoy and/or will miss? Would they enjoy or hate each other's traditions?

Who writes the better letters?

Does one enjoy going to the movies more than the other? Would they enjoy the same types of films or debate who's better (Bogart or Grant or other)

Favorite desserts? Once the war is over and rationing ends, will one of them eat their weight in chocolate cake or cherry pie or other?

Take care, Bee!

Holiday:

crosby is a Christmas guy. Grew up in a house in the Midwest who's mom baked cookies and treats especially at Christmas. He loves the lights and the decorations and the excuse to kiss his loves more under the mistletoe.

Rosie likes Purim a lot, the costumes and games and parties. (Take this with a grain of salt because I am not well educated on Jewish holidays, but I know I heard that Purim is one of the more fun holidays)

They enjoy participating in each other's traditions and holidays. I think during the war the whole point of the fight was to prevent evil and promote the ideas behind the beauty of cultures and peoples and traditions.

Letters: I dont think I could really pick one above the other? They are both obviously very talented with their words. Rosie reads like crazy, and Crosby becomes a lit professor or something. Language is important and special for them.

Films:

Oh rosie is a cinephile 110% he will go see every new movie in the theater. In fact it becomes him that other lawyers and employees at his firm go to for movie recommendations. That being said, he prefers comedies to anything else that's too dramatic. Like he will 100% go see a movie he won't enjoy for the sake of not being a quitter and seeing things through. And he can say he's seen everything once.

Crosby will go to the theater if the film sounds good. I take him the type to love all sorts of movies - comedies, romance, drama, historic. He gets teased by his wife and rosie for when he tears up at the sad and romantic parts - but don't worry it's a cute teasing to get him to blush those precious pinks

Films 1.5 - rosie thinks crosby does awful impressions but he humors him because they are in love

Dessert:

Is it too on the nose to say rosie likes cheesecake? 😆 I get the vibe rosie has weird taste in sweets. He will eat the ones he ma makes and say they are wonderful, but I don't think he'd be into sweets in general. I think he would love dark chocolate tho 🤔

Croz loves a warm, gooey butter cake (if you haven't had one you're missing out btw) his mom made it, and taught the Missus how to make it. So the night he shipped out his wife bid him a farewell with the taste of butter cake on her lips. He began to crave it during the war and would brag about "gosh you should taste my wife's butter cake - it would send you straight through the clouds boys". It's definitely croz that eats his weight in stuff. He's working on his dad bod lol

[exeggcute]

there's a developing story in Australian media about Tiktok pixels collecting unauthorised data in an aggressive manner via their ads on thrid party websites, and I was wondering what a Professional like yourself made of it

ooh reading into this now... full disclosure that (1) until/unless I get another job in adtech I am technically not a Professional anymore lol and (2) pixel tags weren't a big component of my last role so I only have a fairly basic understanding of how they work. but from what I'm seeing here it sounds like the main issue with tiktok rn isn't the data collection per se, since these pixel tags are functionally identical to the ones employed by facebook and others, just that tiktok isn't obtaining user consent the way other companies are ostensibly do. although even that seems like a convenient lead-in for the whole Oh My God A But Chinese Company Is Doing It thing.

and tbf I kinda can pull that in both directions—on one hand facebook in particular has gotten in a lot of trouble before for bad data collection practices and putting that data in the hands of people who used it to (maybe, allegedly) sway public opinion, so the general fear underpinning this thing is like, not unfounded right. (even though I don't think the issue behind the cambridge analytica scandal was centered around tracking pixels specifically?) on the other hand the very nature of facebook's rocky history re. data and privacy proves that western companies can and will spy on their users and it's for sure disingenuous to act like ~shady foreign governments~ are the only ones with any incentive to do so lol.

I guess you could argue that facebook's incentive for all the spying was simply Making Money, even if they took money from people who did use that spy data to spread propaganda; like, to the parent company, the propaganda wasn't the goal. whereas many will obviously argue that with tiktok data some undefined form of propaganda is the goal. but seeing that tiktok ads are a multi-billion dollar enterprise(!) I'm way more inclined to believe that tiktok is also spying for the sake of Making Money. clearly a whole fucking lot of money!

this is something I've for sure said before but I also wholeheartedly believe (and to some extent, know, although again pixel tracking isn't my exact wheelhouse) that advertising data is a lot less granular and therefore less useful than most people imagine it to be, which severely limits the kind of compromising shit you can pull under normal circumstances.

even in the article I linked, where they talk about tiktok pixels being able to track the shopping/browsing habits of users, basic device info, and occasionally some PII like phone numbers and email addresses... like, okay, so let's say tiktok knows that junglejim4322@yahoo.com used an iphone to look at a website that sells orthopedic shoe inserts. or even maybe something more salacious like, idk, questionably legal gas station dick pills. from a "let's use tiktok to spread propaganda" perspective I really struggle how that information would be valuable or what you'd do with it other than emailing that person outright to taunt them about their fucked up feet and/or dick? (if the goal is to show people certain kinds of content in tiktok's app then certainly you have both the means to do so and plenty of behavioral data to draw up on in the app itself. it's a literal video platform lol.) otoh from a "let's use this data to create advertising segments" perspective then you can easily monetize this info by telling advertisers that you know a guy who's a prime target for ads about podiatry treatments or whatever, in which case advertisers are more eager to spend money on ads because they think they're talking to a relevant audience. and in that case advertisers don't really care what the guy's name or email is, just that he ticks certain boxes that make him a worthwhile use of ad dollars. and even in cases where bad actors do want more specific data for shady purposes, it's pretty difficult to collect it and even harder to propagate it across different platforms; one thing I think gets overlooked a lot with cambridge analytica in particular is that it happened on a platform where users willingly share their full name, birthday, gender, relationship status, political leanings, job title, etc. outright, and then create connections between other people who also willingly share all that info. in some ways I don't think it could've happened anywhere but facebook, because this is a situation where you really didn't have to squeeze anything out of users—they just came out and told you! (it's also part of why non-shady facebook ads are so lucrative; you don't have to guesstimate audience data when you can literally just specify that certain ads should only be shown to people whose profile says they're between the ages of 35 and 55.) and as far as I'm aware tiktok just does not have anything remotely approaching that kind of profile data.

anyway lol. as far as I can tell I think this is a GDPR-y consent issue first and foremost, which will probably turn into a thorny battle over whether tiktok can/will be held to EU data standards or similar statues with a good helping of Chinese Company Bad mixed in for good measure. also side note but remember the whole thing about tiktok data transparency but the american company they put in charge of it is fucking oracle?

[quibbs126]

May I have a knight and princess cookie fan child :>

Alright, here you go, this is Dame Cookie

So full disclosure, I don’t know what gender Dame Cookie is. My three ideas are that Dame’s a guy that likes to wear dresses, non binary, or a trans woman. All I know is that Dame isn’t a cis woman. But for the sake of the thing, I’ll just stick with nonbinary

Edit: so I’ve finally decided that Dame is transfem, and will be editing the post as such, though I may forget some

So I was originally going to name her after shortcake, like Berry Shortcake, but then I remembered, both Princess and Knight are named after things, so why not do the same here? I chose Dame because it was the closest match I could find for a female knight. But she is still based on shortcake

Shortcake:

The design’s fine, but I swear, something about the proportions is off. Or the hair. Or maybe both. Also the sketch looks weird. Oh well. But yeah, my main references for her were Kouign Amann and Wildberry, as well as Princess for the dress. My whole idea was just “princess knight” for her. But what got me to finally draw her was me looking for references for my sketch dump and finding one of someone with a giant lance, and I basically went “I want that”. I gave her yellow hair just for the shortcake bit, and I changed it from Knight’s blonde just because I thought it looked a bit weird on her. And that it blended too much with the armor. I think I might have made the lance too small? It’s supposed to be really oversized. All in all, like I said, the design’s fine, but it’s not entirely what I was picturing in my head. Though then again, I think the picture in my head was that of a human character, so maybe that’s part of it

So anyways, Dame Cookie isn’t too complicated. She’s a fighter, but not as much of an adventurer. I imagine she likes to take part in a lot of tournaments. She’s also very friendly and easy to get along with. Oh, and another thing, Dame is pretty damn big. Like, she towers over their parents, and she’s also ridiculously strong, given she can throw their oversized lance at high speeds with ease. I imagine a scenario in which someone new in town hears of a young royal called Dame Cookie, and they imagine a dainty young girl, only to meet her in person (perhaps in a tournament) and find out Dame Cookie looks nothing like what they thought. But despite her fighting and physique, she also very much likes doing stuff like wearing fancy dresses and going to balls and such

Hmm, I wonder, would Dame have worked better as a darkknight fankid? I mean, mostly because of the large size and incredible strength probably fitting in better with Dark Choco’s family, and the fact that the colors work just as good with him too. Although at the same time, I doubt she’d wear frilly dresses or have her name be Dame Cookie…hm. Oh well, that’s not one of my requests yet, so who knows?

But yeah, that’s Dame Cookie. Hope you like her!

@amythecat2001 you were one of the people who asked

Edit: so the top was a redesign, mostly in the hair. The original is here

[fearowkenya]

Digimon Survive Week: Day 4 - Supporting Characters

Winds of Change - Chapter 8: Winds of Change - Part Two

“Yes, you screwed up in the waterway. Yes, shit’s dire right now.” Dracmon tells Shuuji. “Yes, it’s true that everything I’ve learned from the past is screaming that we’re fucked, that Lopmon’s memories are as good as gone. But the past doesn’t dictate the future, and it certainly doesn’t take into account what you’re doing right now, or that every single thing you’ve done since the second this egg landed in your arms has been for Lopmon’s sake. The strength of that resolve could very well change his fate—just look how much it’s already changed you!”

The answers to Shuuji's questions are disheartening at best, and he feels worse than ever about what happened in the waterway. Thankfully, Dracmon is around to remind him that although he cannot change the past, he's more than capable of changing the future.

As usual, ao3 link in source, extended author's notes below!

ok yeah maybe it's a stretch to spin the @surviveweek prompt "supporting characters" into "characters that are supportive (: " rather than "secondary characters", but i had been planning on doing this before The Dracmon Chapter was split into what is now chapters 7 and 8. I couldn't pick a (canon) secondary character i was interested in enough to dedicate art or fic to, and what i'd originally been planning for this prompt could also work for one of the others. i probably could have also used this chapter for the "future" prompt later this week, but i have other ideas for that one. so here we are!

i love the scenes scattered around the game where takuma is desperately trying to play charades with kunemon. he has no idea what that little guy is saying at all, and even if the player picks an answer that takuma seems confident in, we'll never really know! i think that's great. kew!

editing this chapter was pretty quick since i'd already gotten through most of it before i decided to split the dracmon section into to parts. that said, i did spend so much time rereading it that i ended up worrying that this chapter wasn't exciting enough. you know how it is. speaking of editing, i really cannot estimate when chapter 9 will be out. it's the last one, and when i gave it a once-over earlier i spotted a lot of things that i want to fine-tune. so we'll see! thank you for your patience - i hope getting two chapters in one week makes up for it a little.

"mattie can you elaborate on dracmon's fresh and spicy mysterious backstory??" no (:

i can elaborate on why i picked dracmon for this conversation though! in part5, it really stuck out to me that dracmon was the one to pull takuma aside to be like "hey you gotta keep an eye on shuuji , somethings fucked". im pretty sure he did it TWICE! there's also a point where kaito is watching shuuji freaking out in the waterway and asks dracmon smth to the effect of "isn't there something we can do?" and dracmon being like "not really no ): ", so it seems like the entire situation was weighing on both kaito and dracmon more than they made it seem. i thought it would be nice to give dracmon the chance to talk to shuuji after it was all said and done and see for himself that he's okay now. as for kaito…? well, we'll see. as for the lore, i'd already started using dracmon to explore the effects of repeated death and regeneration on the memory of digimon in ocean wave, so it was convenient to keep using the same character. also he's my favorite.

so full disclosure i did play a character (a terriermon named nova) in a digimon ttrpg that has a bad evolution and then loses his memories. nova's memory loss was probably a touch more intentional than lopmon's potential memory loss, and his bad evo wasn't a result of something his partner did , but a choice he made for himself. it's been a lot of fun exploring how it happens for lopmon, because it's the same flavor of angst as what happened with nova, but both the context and fallout are pretty different.

lastly, i really do think that if the waterway hadn't happened, kaito's trust issues, minoru's paranoia, and saki's fear would have eventually come up anyway. it manifested as mistrust toward their partners because of what happened with lopmon, but maybe in an alternate truthful part6 where wendimon doesn't happen, we get the library back and the Horrors are unleashed upon them there instead. would've LOVED to know what kaito's were, but i dont think it's ever touched upon other than kaito showing up to the kenzoku fight like "hey what the fuck was that." i know minoru definitely had a library scene but i dont remember what it was, but he was hiding under a desk for a bit??? and then i think saki mmmmight have one in harmony and in moral but i cannot for the life of me remember what they were. i digress.

i hope you enjoyed the end of The Dracmon Interlude! thanks for reading (:

[monzamash]

one thing that i think is really causing a lot of trouble is that journalists are just lumping everything that's happening (horner allegations, jos verstappen/red bull conflict, max to merc, FIA corruption, all of it) into one question and asking drivers like "oh, what's your take on everything that's going on?". like... there is a lot going on

and i don't think it's wrong of drivers to not want to get too involved in the FIA's dealings and other teams' inner dynamics. like for them, all that is just probably "noise" and "distractions" and has nothing to do with them

BUT the problem is that the harassment allegations are being lumped in with those things that are (in my opinion) way less serious. and then when drivers call everything going on "noise" and "distractions", it makes the allegations seem like they don't matter. the journalists are asking stupidly vague questions, and the drivers are responding in stupid ways. because they really should all be separating the allegations from all the other shit going on

however, i do just think people should keep in mind that when drivers are saying these stupid things, they aren't (except in a few cases) being asked about the allegations against horner directly. they're just talking about everything going on generally. that still doesn't mean that they aren't fucking idiots for not realizing that they shouldn't be conflating everything into one answer. like seriously, how hard is it to keep all the drama and rumors that you're allowed to not care about separate from the very serious allegations that do actually affect your entire sport and aren't just "private matters"? 🙄

*cracks knuckles* (also full disclosure it’s morning here in aus so i’m not caught up on any recent updates so lmk if there are any x

this the biggest story in f1 right now and I refuse to believe that anyone in the paddock is naive to that. the jos stuff and max going to merc story all links back to the original reporting of sh so at the very least, those stories are front of mind. the example that stands out in my mind is both daniel, perez and nico because they were definitely talking about the red bull situation and decided to dismiss it (and go as far as to defend the person). the others maybe could brush it off as generalisation but then i just think that they’re burying their heads in the sand about it. i also think some drivers would talk about it passionately bts but don’t want to catch heat publicly (don’t love it but i hope for some this has created some discourse in their personal lives to warrant a conversation - same goes for the average person too) but who knows.

and this might be an unpopular opinion but i agree at least in part with what Valterri said about the media eating this up because it’s fodder for clicks. it’s been grossly misrepresented in all aspects of the sport from the drivers to the pr teams to the journalists… so i don’t expect there to be some almighty savour to come out and restore our faith in the sport but I know for damn sure that there is a long way to go and a lot of work to be done if we want women and other communities to feel welcome in sport generally - not just formula one.

expect cricket australia because the captain of the national team sent an unsolicited dick pic to one of his coworkers and was sacked into non existence and it was beautiful. they’ve obviously fucked up with other things but for the sake of my argument, we will leave it there lol

[bending-sickle]

sometimes this book quotes people and doesn't say who they are, and it turns out they're someone and not, say, "monica, 29" who is exactly that and we don't need to know anything more.

but sometimes we really could use more than just the name, in the spirit of full-disclosure. because we need to know who we're taking advice from, or who vicky is advocating we take advice from.

for example:

"With clear communication, all of your relationships will change, not only with your partner, but with everyone else. You won't need to make assumptions because everything becomes so clear. This is what I want; this is what you want. If we communicate in this way, our world becomes impeccable. - Don Miguel Ruiz"

and who is Don Miguel Ruiz?

Miguel Ángel Ruiz Macías (born August 27, 1952), better known as Don Miguel Ruiz, is a Mexican author of Toltec spiritual and neoshamanistic texts. His work is best-received among members of the New Thought movement that focuses on ancient teachings as a means to achieve spiritual enlightenment. Ruiz is listed as one of the Watkins 100 Most Spiritually Influential Living People in 2018. [...] Don Miguel Ruiz was born in rural Mexico, the youngest of 13 children. He attended medical school, and became a surgeon.

and what, pray tell, is this "New Thought" movement? so glad you asked:

The New Thought movement (also Higher Thought) is a new religious movement that coalesced in the United States in the early 19th century. New Thought was seen by its adherents as succeeding "ancient thought", accumulated wisdom and philosophy from a variety of origins [...]. The New Thought movement has been criticized as a "get-rich-quick scheme" as much of its literature contains esoteric advice to make money. Although the movement began with roots in feminism and socialism, it increasingly attached itself to far right and racist ideology, arguing that poverty was a sign of spiritual weakness, and that "for the sake of race improvement... poverty and suffering must not be alleviated by the state.

yeah so uh...not someone i would go to for advice. of any kind.

there is a lot of cult-adjacent endorsement in this book which...really doesn't jive with me. there's the suggestion that we join a neopagan religious group for the nookie and how polyamory is sanctioned by much of the world even in the hip and happening Salt Lake City (because mormons, and only fundamentalist ones at that).

and then there's this post saying "it was pointed out to me that one of the few people misha follows is a ~sex shaman~" who the post says is in the International School of Temple Arts. now, a rumor about the author's now ex-husband following some dude in a sex cult (because it's a sex cult) on twitter (am i checking whether misha indeed follows some dude from this sex cult on twitter? no. because limits, i has them.) isn't damning (well, for the book) but it gives a certain little patina considering both the author and their spouse were involved in - what was it? "grueling personal research". i mean, sure, said cult doesn't show up in the book, but then again, see how the new thought movement doesn't explicitly, either?

oh and i'm not kidding about it being a sex cult:

The International School of Temple Arts (ISTA) is an organization which describes itself as promoting sexual healing and healthy attitudes towards sex. ISTA is a modern mystery religion, schooling participants in the spiritual aspects of sex.

and

Journalist Anke Richter stated to the Byron Shire Echo that "There was a covert harem culture at ISTA. Male pioneers surrounded themselves with young female lovers, often from their trainings, who were then accelerated to apprentices and facilitators". Some senior members of the organisation have been accused of performing sex acts on meeting participants without consent or pressuring them to consent to sex acts. One woman said that she had been raped by a teacher after he drugged her with MDMA. In 2021 the organisation said that they had implemented a policy of not allowing Temple Training teachers to have sex with participants.

so yeah. the skeevies, i got 'em.

- Chapter 4, The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three (2007) by Victoria (Vicki) Vantoch