#But I think that's better than me stepping in in this case.

[notthegrouch]

The hero's journey indeed does not work. It's too abstract, and at the same time too specific.

I like Dan Harmon's story circle better, in which there are 8 steps that most stories go through, but it explicitly mentions that a) not all stories go through all 8 steps, sometimes some are skipped completely or inversed, and b) the steps are not always in the order, and c) sometimes the steps apply to the audience instead.

but the more and more you remove from that circle, the less a text will look like a story and more like a series of disconnected events.

The story circle can also be applied to scenes and chapters as well.

A lot of writers also misunderstand the "relatable and likable" main character advise, or "show, don't tell". I recently watch a Brandon Sanderson lecture, and the one thing that really resonated with me is the "all advise I give will only apply to 90% of you. writing is a personal craft, and you know your story better than I do. if something doesn't fit your current story, do not apply a rule I just told you about. you might be in the 10% where the rule does not make sense. in that case, just remember the rule, add it to your toolbox and it might come in handy in your next project".

I think this may be true for all writing advice. Just add the tools to your toolbox. You will know when they are needed, or more importantly when they are not.

alright, I’m annoyed with the class that I’m taking. it’s about writing novels, and I thought it would have cool stuff about balancing your narrative and developing themes etc, but instead she spent the first class talking about how every book fits into the Hero’s Journey (the monomyth template). and I was somewhat of a contrarian, and said “can you give us examples of books that don’t fit into this template?” and she said “no. because all books fit.”

but I dunno man, I just finished reading this Korean book where the plot is just the character having a string of hookups and reflecting on them without changing in any way. I don’t know if it’s possible to contort that into the Hero’s Journey.

[lynzishell]

Prev // Next

Transcript below the cut:

[Rach: Why didn’t you get his number?] Iris: The entire conversation was five minutes. He was gone before I even thought about it. Besides, I spent half the time talking to his dog. He probably thought I was a weirdo.

[Rach: If he’s a dog person, he probably loved it.] Iris: Who knows. [Rach: Do you think you’ll run into him again?] Iris: Doubt it. I’m here almost every morning and I’ve never seen him before. He was just in the area for the vet clinic.

[Rach: Hmm. So, in theory, if you do see him again, it’s because he’s hoping to run into you.] Iris: [scoffs] Yeah, I’m not gonna hold my breath.

Iris: Shit. [Rach: What?] Iris: He’s here. What do I do? [Rach: Um, hang up the phone and go say hi?] Iris: Right. Okay. I’ll see you soon. Bye.

Iris: Hi. Ezra: Good morning. Iris: How’d Milo’s appointment go? Ezra: Great, he got a clean bill of health. More importantly, you were right about the biscuits, he was very happy. Iris: [smiles] Good.

Barista: What can I get for you? Ezra: An oat milk latte… and whatever she’s having. Iris: Oh, um, a macchiato.

Iris: Why did you do that? Ezra: It’s just a thing I do sometimes, buying coffee for the person behind me. Iris: [skeptical] Why?

Ezra: [shrugs] To brighten their day, and hope they’ll pay it forward. Iris: Making the world a better place, one coffee at a time? Ezra: Something like that.

Iris: You should be careful about that. Ezra: How so? Iris: You might give someone the wrong impression. You don’t want them thinking you’re interested if you’re not.

Ezra: I’ll admit, I am usually more discreet about it than I was today. Iris: Oh? Ezra: I have some time before I have to be to work. I was thinking about grabbing a table outside and enjoying the nice weather if you’d like to join me. Iris: Um… sure. I have about thirty minutes to spare. Ezra: I’ll take it.

--

Iris: So, what do you do, Ezra? Ezra: I’m a teacher. Brindleton Bay High. Iris: [sarcastic] Go Huskies. Ezra: [laughs] Right.

Iris: Did you go to that school? Ezra: No, I just moved here a few years ago. Iris: That’s good. I don’t trust people who choose to work at the same high school they went to. Ezra: Why’s that?

Iris: Too many memories. Seems you’d be haunted by the past every time you walked down the halls. Personally, I don’t think I could ever step foot in that building again. Ezra: You were a husky? Iris: [nods] Born and raised in the Bay. Ezra: There are worse places.   Iris: I suppose.

Iris: What do you teach? Ezra: Biology. Tenth Grade. Iris: Yikes. Must be awful. Ezra: You’d think so, but I love it.  

Iris: Hm. Tell me, do you still make kids dissect frogs? Ezra: Every year. Iris: Horrific. Ezra: Let me guess, you were one of the students that refused, taking a moral stance?

Iris: Oh, I didn’t just refuse, I organized a protest. Got half the school to walk out. We were on the local news. Ezra: You were quite the activist. Iris: Hardly. I was just bored. And I was trying to get the attention of a boy I liked who happened to be vegan.

Ezra: Did it work? Iris: It did, for a while. Ezra: What happened? Iris: He caught me devouring a hamburger at the mall with my friends. Turns out I’m not cut out for the long con.

Ezra: I’d say that’s a good thing. Unless you’ve improved since then? Iris: No. I gave up on lying. It’s exhausting. If anything, I’m too honest. People don’t like it, but [shrugs]. Ezra: I like honesty. Iris: Me too.

Iris: Shit, you get oat milk in your latte. You’re not vegan, are you? Ezra: No, just lactose intolerant. Iris: Thank god. Not that I’d care if you were, but I have a habit of saying the wrong thing and I worried I’d embarrassed myself. Ezra: No no, not at all.

Iris: Good. Well, um, thank you for the coffee. I have to go or I’m going to be late for work. Ezra: Wait, you didn’t tell me what you do. Iris: I guess we’ll have to do this again tomorrow then. That is, unless you’re secretly married, in which case, I’m not interested in some weird coffeeshop affair. Ezra: [laughs] No. Divorced, and very much single.

Iris: In that case, if tomorrow goes well, I might let you ask me out on a proper date.

[capitanoidyll]

There is No Law that Emperors Must be Fair

Emperor ! Jing Yuan x Princess ! Reader

Chapter 13 | What Belongs to Him

Summary | You are set to marry the Emperor, Jing Yuan. In order to break the engagement, you stage an accident and fake having amnesia. But now, your own cruel, cold, and distant fiancé, who seemed to not want anything to do with you, is now acting all lovey dovey!

Previous | Fic Masterlist | Next

You originally thought that sleep would be hard to come by, however, you were proven wrong when you woke up the next morning. Your body feeling better than yesterday thanks to the medicine that Luocha gave you. Sitting up in bed, you looked around your room, and then to your bedroom door. Your room, as far as you knew was your only safe haven and a place you could hopefully let your guard down. Though, you still worried… what if someone was in here right now hiding? You closed your eyes and tried to listen carefully, but you couldn’t pinpoint anything.

Moze has definitely left an impression on you…

Shaking your head after a few moments, you finally got out of bed. There was a dull ache in your legs and back, but it was bearable thankfully.

Now, Jing Yuan said my maids will help me today, but… ever since coming here no maid has ever made such an effort. Maybe once or twice, but that was about it. Probably because they don’t like me all that much.

You sighed at your thoughts and went for your wardrobe. Opening the closest doors, your eyes roamed over your dresses. Wait… are there more in here than before? You decided not to question it as you went for a dress that just so happened to be your favorite color. If Jing Yuan asks about it, then you could just say that he had said that it was your favorite color and that you could understand why you liked it so much now that you see it in person. Now, putting the dress on proved to be a hassle but you managed… somehow.

“Ok… so now what?”

You looked to your bedroom door again. Do you even risk it? Then again, it definitely beats staying in here all day.

So, gathering nay courage that you had, you went to your door.

“Ok, so I’m a princess with amnesia, and I’m to be married to the Emperor. In other words, I should act like I own the place, right?”

Steeling yourself, you opened the door and stepped out of your bedroom. Looking left and then right, you decided to head right. (You knew that the kitchen and dining room were that way, but you would just tell anyone that asks that you took a guess on which way to go.)

Walking down the halls, you noticed how some of the maids avoided you, not that you minded. You didn’t particularly want to talk to them either. It wasn’t until you passed by the stairs that you fell down that you stopped.

Thinking about it now, this means you fell down these stairs twice, right?

I hope I don’t make it three…

“y/n.”

You jumped a little and spun on your heel to look at who had spoken to you, but the voice was distinct. You already knew who it was.

“Yuan?”

The Emperor was smiling at you, “I’m surprised that you’re already out of bed,” he said as he came to stand next to you his eyes shifting from you to the stair case.

“Well, I know you said my maids will assist me, but no one ever came to check up on me, and…,” you shifted from foot to foot, “since I’m to marry you…. I thought I was allowed to walk around. Did I- did I mess up?”

Jing Yuan chuckled softly as he held out his arm for you. Taking a moment to realize what he was doing, you hesitantly wrapped your hands around his arm. One hand on his bicep and the other on his forearm. Once you gotten a hold on him, he started to go towards the stairs and with a shaky step from you, you both began to descend the stairs.

“You’re allowed to go anywhere your heart desires within my domain. Though, I do ask that you be escorted.”

You wondered if he could feel your fingers tremble against his arm. His arm, to which you noticed was lined with taught muscle. Focus, y/n, focus!

“I- I’m sorry, no one was by my door either…”

“I know, Blade, your bodyguard, was taking care of some business for me. He’ll be by your side again after breakfast.”

“Then is that why you were coming down the hall? To come get me?”

You saw a glint in his eyes as he smiled at you.

Once down the stairs, you went to let go of his arm, but he raised his other hand to keep your hands where they were. You looked back at the steps.

“Was this the staircase I fell down?”

Jing Yuan looked to where your eyes were watching, “yes, it was. Do you remember anything?”

You shook your head, “I just.. have a feeling is all,” you looked back up at Jing Yuan as he turned his gaze back to your face, “how about the one who pushed me… I heard it was.. a maid?”

“Yes,” you could hear the sigh in his voice, “a maid, but I wouldn’t worry about her. She has been properly dealt with.”

You couldn’t stop the shiver that ran down your spine. While you were sleeping in bed… some maid was getting killed.

“But why not give her a punishment instead?”

Jing Yuan hummed thoughtfully as he dropped his arm causing you to let go of his bicep and forearm.

And all too quickly he was in front of you, his hands cupping your cheeks as his thumbs pressed right under your jaw and tilting your head up. You could feel the way your breath hitched and how your heart seemed to skip every other beat.

“Because little sparrow, I truly despise when someone damages what belongs to me.”

He let one hand fall from your cheek to rest against your throat. His fingers encircled your throat with careful precision as he leant down and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips that contrasted with the way he held you in place. And all too soon his hands didn’t feel to domineering or suffocating as he moved them to slide down your arms and to your hips. His lips slowly detach from you as you silently caught your breath.

“Now, princess, let’s go eat breakfast. I was sure to tell the chefs to cook your favorites.”

He was going to kill you again; you were sure of it.

Taglist pt 1

@danae-misfortune @frogsasfrogs @openthenyoor01 @zuhaine @ughlostmyotherac @joyfulnightprincess @thechibifoxcub @ceaether @satanisasofties @thetwinkims @yanrandom @honeybunbunn @superdonkeypatroleggs @ohmyfinggod @baboon-milk333 @zareri @kclremin @rains-mae @yccoffeesimp @bloomiesty @moon-taffy @superdark-soul @pinkismyfavcolor @isa-l0v3r @its-astrotea-love @reapersan @junephantom21 @erisfayred @greyrain23 @justadekusimp @uzxotic @alisstaa @avalordream @unlivingdisaster @pix-stuff @sleepyxion14 @pillows-blankets @anicega @junni-berry @niaainthere @sorachitsuki @dyingsweetmackerel @rosariymchapter @immahuman @fluffy-koalala @momoniq @orphiclueur @insightedly

[gayofthefae]

If you truly ignore Byler proof, there's a 50% chance. Because there is a 50% chance that a random guy in Arizona (with the last name Duffer) opened his laptop and typed out "boys kiss" and emailed it to a bunch of actors. For all the talk on how difficult it is to get a single shot, writing that is actually surprisingly simple and fast.

You're convinced that the people in your real life you believe are straight are, and honestly? That's what this is about. You can process that later, but do process it. Mike, however, is completely made up. Fictional. Doesn't exist. He is a puppet controlled by writers with free will. His relationship with a woman has 0 bearing on his queerness, (especially if he's bisexual, jesus christ guys, dating El doesn't disprove bisexuality).

At most baseline of a love triangle I'd say it's a coin flip.

People act like it's harder to write "Mike kisses Will instead" than to write, say "Nancy kisses Steve instead" because of their OWN mental block of him being queer. But there aren't actually any extra steps. All Mike has to do to have feelings for Will is say he does. All Finn has to do is act like it.

It is not as difficult to make a character queer as it is for you to accept them as queer, and that's what people are equating. It does not require any additional effort than any other situation in which one character is wanted by two characters. It is equally easy to put them with either one.

People act like just because Mike doesn't currently have overt feelings for Will that there are lots of steps on the road to that. There aren't.

The most planless, bullshit way of doing it they could do is to say "everything up until now - the I love you, all of it, was 100% true, but in this year and a half time jump, I have developed feelings for Will". A slightly better quality, equally as easy one would be "I believed everything I said and did was true, but I realized during this time jump that this whole time I actually had feelings for Will. I believed my actions but that doesn't make them true." Rewatchable, which we know they want.

Then, of course, the most commonly understood one, "I really believed I/was in love with you seasons 1-4 but learning that Will was the one behind the painting and that he knew me so well and made me feel so loved and felt that way made me realize I love him now." Cyrano, of course. We've seen it before, we know how it ends.

I, of course, prefer the more complicated, and therefore more accurate - and simply more interesting - versions, but this is on the assumption that they did not intend it and changed their minds when they sat down for season 5 or something.

Still easy as hell. So fucking easy. Tell Finn to look goofy at Will, don't even have to right lines about it, then have him talk to El and say any of the above lines. Written as bad as that, it doesn't totally matter. He will then, canonically and from the show's beginning when you rewatch it, be queer. Period, full stop. Tap Finn Wolfhard on the shoulder and whisper "be gay" and your job is done. It is very, very easy, actually.

People think that because represents him, they know everything about him automatically. But there are cases where you aren't him. You're the people around him. And just like them, you think he's straight. There are things I think about him that are projections of me, not analyses of the character. Yours is that he's straight. That came from you, not him.

People only act like it's hard because it's hard for them to wrap their heads around. But these aren't people who are magnetically repelled based on gender attraction. They're barbie dolls you're mashing together. You can pick whichever ones you want.

You may be Mike Wheeler. But the writers are 2x06 Erica Sinclair.

if a character canonically has a crush on another character (assuming it's legal), that means that the ship is a possibility. it's on the table. there's a chance of a relationship there. maybe if one of the characters is 100% canon confirmed not to be attracted to the gender of the other character, you could argue there's no chance, but unless they've outright stated so, it's on the table. it's an option. stop telling us byler isn't fucking possible. call it unlikely if you want - it's still an option now, whether you like it or not. get the fuck off my ass

[cha-melodius]

12 for henry & oscar for the hug prompts

(I love that you sent a Henry & Oscar prompt, and this one was so good for them. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this one is post-canon. read all the hug ficlets)

12: The “you know I’ve always got your back” hug.

One of Henry’s favourite outcomes of stepping down from his royal position was that he had more time to devote to the network of shelters that he’s been building with Pez. He loves planning the spaces, and visiting them, and meeting with the staff to figure out better ways to serve the community. Even the fundraising galas are less tedious when he can freely tell people to sod off with the ‘His Royal Highness’ nonsense and call him Henry.

These kinds of meetings he could certainly do without. Unfortunately, winning local city governments over so they’ll approve the necessary re-zoning and building permits is a vitally important part of the process, and so Henry is steeling himself for what is likely to be an unpleasant hour of his life. Usually, Pez would be here too—Pez is aces, as he puts it, with charming people, and all Henry has to do is sit there and chip in with a few key points when Pez prompts him. But Pez is travelling for some other business meeting, and Alex is stuck at home because of an important case, so Henry was resigned to facing this one alone.

That, as it turns out, isn’t quite the case.

“Cheryl Robinson will be your biggest opponent,” Oscar is telling him. “She represents—how should I put it—some of the less progressive interests in the city, and she’s unfortunately got a lot of sway. She loves dogs, though, so if you tell a cute story about David, you’ll soften her up.”

When Henry had made plans to stay with his father-in-law for this trip, he hadn’t really expected all of this, which, in retrospect, was probably silly of him. Oscar always seemed to delight in the opportunity to help them out, and unlike Alex, Henry has no hang-ups about accepting it. He’d insisted on driving Henry to his meeting and has been giving him a run-down on every city official that will be there, including every bit of inside information he has. Henry’s so grateful for the support he could cry.

He doesn’t, though. He sits in the passenger seat and takes notes—Foster, bad toupee, mention construction budget and local contracts—as they slowly make their way through LA traffic.

“Sure you don’t want me to come in?” Oscar asks when they finally arrive. He’s not wearing business-meeting clothes, but Henry thinks he probably doesn’t care.

“I think it’s probably best I don’t surprise them with a senator they’re not expecting,” Henry replies.

“Ah, you’re probably right,” Oscar says with a grin.

Henry smooths a hand over the folio containing his notes. “Thank you for all of this, though. It’s been immensely helpful.”

“Any time.”

To Henry’s surprise, Oscar follows him out of the car and stands next to him while Henry collects his briefcase from the back. When Henry turns toward him, he reaches up to straighten Henry’s tie and brush imaginary lint off the shoulder of his jacket. Henry’s used to such fussing over his appearance, though not from Oscar, and he’s certainly not used to it being the prelude to being tugged into a hug.

“They give you any trouble, you call me, ok?” Oscar says as he holds Henry tightly. “You got this, mijo.”

Right, Henry might actually cry now, which would definitely be counterproductive. He doesn’t currently trust himself to speak, so he just nods as he straightens up again, collects himself, and heads into the meeting a lot more confident than he’d been this morning.

[lar-arts]

You said you have more info on Xelqua and Watchers

Pls

More info

You see me? See these tears in my eyes? thank you for asking

Okay. In case you might need a refreshment, this is what my Xelqua looks like

Watchers dont really have forms, not ones that can be seen by players at least (they live in the space between servers, where no player is ever able to see them) so they are just,,, these things.

Xelqua in particular has this kinda star/sun shaped "head", because I'm a sucker for sun/star symbolism when it comes to Grian, but also because it's his distinctive (not all watchers have forms that distinguish them from the rest, but G does)

(What happens when he burns out? Will he go supernova and become a black hole, destroy everything around him?

Doesn't he do that already?)

The reason Xelqua is known as the guide and the light amongst watchers and those who know of them is because when he is actively watching a server, he manifests as the brightest star in the sky. During the day he just blends with the sun, but at night he can be seen by normal players. He tends to act like Polaris does here, as a guide to those who wander and need direction. Thus, the guide.

(I like to think that when he gets to hc6 there is a point, and this may be months into the season, when he is either alone or with another hermit looking at the stars. And there is this moment when he sees himself from the perspective of a player for the fisrt time, he sees that light in the sky that is shining just a bit brighter than the rest, and is hit with- something. Like looking into a mirror for the first time, he recognizes himself as a watcher and as a player that is looking straight at him. If he had a mouth, he'd smile.)

The eyes (and this goes for every watcher) get more abstract the farther away they are from the main "body". Again, no one can see this, but it means that their sight is more limited the further away from them it is, and not as noticeable by players who know what to look for.

When Xelqua decides that being a watcher is neat and all, but it has been a long while and he'd like to be able to play again, it very much works as if he was playing minecraft, just better. He can feel things as a player does, needs to sleep and eat and drink water, but nothing really affects him, you know? We make our characters in mc eat and rest because otherwise it will die and be forced to respawn, but there is nothing at stake for us, we can step away anytime and come back the same. The same goes for Grian.

I could go forever I think about the implications of all this but this is the lore I have firmly written down! (for now) (if anyone wants to ask me about something more specific I'll be glad to answer) Thank you so much for asking i am kissing you on the mouth

[shivayagojo]

MONACO GP, stressed out

masterlist

avaflorence + lewishamilton

Team 44 is proud to announce a collaboration with Ava Florence in our next set collection. The set will feature 44 different statement pieces designed by Lewis Hamilton and Ava Florence, which will promote the 44x95 identity, as well as give young fashion designers a chance to blossom. We are super excited for the coming collection. Look out for more.

see comments below

user01: HELP— they're too iconic ✨ ↳user02: perks of being a 7x champion and a rookie sensation is you get unlimited swagger

user03: Seeing Hamilton and Florence collab was not my bingo list.

user04: SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY 💸 ↳user05: I'm going to be camping out on their website for this release to drop ↳user06: literally don't dare if it's gonna drain my wallet, it's Florence and Hamilton!

avaflorence: Kachow! ⚡️ ↳liamawson: Please have Lightning McQueen merch! ↳user07: not lawson 🤣 ↳user08: I can't tell who he's fangirling more for: McQueen or Ava.

oscarpiastri: Not sure if I'll ever get to wear them, but I'll purchase a few pieces. ↳avaflorence: You're literally the best! ↳user09: Oscar is Ava's biggest fan 🫢

user09: I love how Ava gets basically the whole post, but it's written from Team44 ↳avaflorence: tbf, it was my idea

youtube.com

Porsche F1 | 10 Questions With Ava Florence

"Hi everybody. I'm Ava Florence; I race for the Porsche Formula 1 something-something racing team and today we're doing 10 Questions With Ava Florence... which is me, by the way. In case you didn't catch that."

"HOW DID YOU GET INTO RACING?"

"My dad was a hobbyist racer. He drove motorcycles, not cars. So obviously he tried to get us into racing bikes, but me and my brother always liked cars. So one Christmas, he got us a Go-Kart. We could only afford one Go-Kart. So me and my brother would share it on the weekends and just race around this small street by our house. It was probably the coolest thing to six year old me, and that's when I fell in love with racing. I started karting in leagues and then moved up into racing series and the rest is history. My brother now races in F2, so that's cool... I'm still better than him. That hasn't changed."

"WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE TEAM GROWING UP?"

"Ferrari. Growing up near Germany, everybody there was a Ferrari fan because of Schumacher and Seb. So, I also grew up a Ferrari fan. I loved watching them win, which wasn't a lot of times to be fair. But it was really nice to see the Ferrari flag being waved in Monza or something like that. Obviously now, my job is to make sure that doesn't happen. But like Seb said, 'everybody is a Ferrari fan.'"

"WHAT CHALLENGES DID YOU FACE AS A WOMEN IN MOTORSPORT?"

"A lot. I don't like getting too much into it, but it was much different than what my brother is going through. Sometimes it's drivers or somebody in the paddock who treats you differently. In some cases, I was denied participation in a racing series. But whatever it was, I always kept my head high because I knew I had people like my Dad supporting me every step of the way, and I didn't want to let them down by quitting. That's the one thing I don't want to be. A quitter. I'd rather try and fail, than be a loser who never stepped up."

"WHAT'S THE MOST STRESSFUL PART OF BEING AN F1 DRIVER?"

"Probably when you're not thinking about the race. You're driving 200+ mph and you have to think about the pitstop strategy, tire management, who's ahead, who's behind. Sometimes, you want to just stop thinking and drive."

"WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING AN F1 DRIVER?"

"Definitely being able to travel to different countries and seeing the fans there. Back home in Belgium, I know the people there, and I know that they support me and cheer me on. But it's exciting to go another country like Australia or Italy and see people there support to you too. It makes you feel good knowing people across the world are cheering you on every race. So, I try to win every race for them."

"YOU HAVE A LONG FLIGHT AHEAD. WHICH TWO DRIVERS ARE YOU TAKING WITH YOU?"

"Probably Charles because he's easy to make fun of. Especially when I recite his memes to him. I've got like a whole collection on my phone. So, it's free real estate in his head. And then probably Max... because he'd start yapping when we run out of things to talk about. Maxsplaining. But I am worried by like hour two, I'm gonna start third-wheeling for these two."

"FAVORITE TRACK THAT ISN'T YOUR HOME RACE?"

"Probably Brazil. It's probably the perfect track after Spa. It's got fast corners, slow corners, perfect places to overtake. It's amazing on Saturday, but even better on Sunday. Plus, like home, it always rains there. Who doesn't love racing in the rain?"

"DRIVER YOU WOULD LIKE TO GO TO A PUB WITH?"

"Bwoah."

"WHAT IS IT LIKE MEETING THE DRIVERS YOU WATCHED ON SCREEN?"

"Weird, but also exciting. I went from correcting everyone by saying 'Sir' Lewis Hamilton to now calling him Lulu. It's amazing I get to be friends with these drivers. Also, Nando is just soft grandpa."

"HOW MANY RACES ARE YOU GOING WIN?"

"Hopefully all of them."

porschef1

Is it a good time to reveal that we have merch?

see comments below

user01: Porsche social media is just playing 4D chess ↳user02: how have they not missed on a single post? It's unfair 😩

user03: pls I'm going to be homeless if I keep spending more money on F1 merch ↳user04: already sold my kidney for this ↳user05: imagine wasting on your life in F1 merch (couldn't be me 👀)

scuderiaferrari: These aren't bad, but they would be better in red. ↳porschef1: Funny how one of your drivers was sporting one of these ↳user06: Not Lewis betraying the Scuderia for Ava already 😬 ↳user07: can't blame at all

scuderiaferrari: Porsche admin, a bet- if Ferrari wins, you wear our merch and we go on a date ↳porschef1: If Porsche wins, you wear our merch ↳scuderiaferrari: Deal. ↳user08: Are we interrupting something? ↳user09: weird way to propose, but you go ferrari admin

user10: Guys, I found the Ferrari and Porsche admins ↳user11: Don't be shy. Drop the @

AVA WISHED she could forgot the Free Practice Sessions. But she couldn't. It hadn't been that long since she raced in Monaco. Hell, she even won in tracks she's never raced in before. So, why was Monaco giving her hell? Consistently in the back of grid during FP1 and FP2, and crashing against the barriers in FP3. Worse, she called the circuit overrated. Perhaps this was karma. The curse of Monaco had split from Charles and crept over to her, tired of the disrespect. After rolling the car back in and settling down for Friday, she made the worst mistake she could: she opened social media. And she saw everything. The doubters, the haters, the naysayers finally had solid proof to call her out. They came out in full swing, like starved goblins seeing blood for the first time. Ava couldn't help but feel this was warranted. She could not keep up with the rest of the pack. It killed her inside.

f1

Fitted and suited for the Monaco Fashion show. It's all decided her on Sunday. Take your pick for Pole Position.

see comments below

user01: Leclerc broke his curse last year. It's time for back to back wins ↳user02: Don't know much P5 is gonna do for him.

user03: Tell me why Williams were in the top 10 during practice?? ↳user04: Cuz it's practice? Lmao itdoesn't matter in the race ↳user05: Latiffi flashbacks

user06: Florence finally stopped getting lucky 🤡 ↳user07: Oh boohoo. One bad race ↳user08: fr her streak is finally over ↳user09: Y'all said the same thing about Hamilton and looked what happened

          HAMILTON IS BACK ON TOP. That's a saying that millions of fans around the world were waiting to hear and once they came from Crofty's mouth, it brought cheer and joy to the stages of Monaco. What didn't bring them joy was their resident hero not being able to make Q3 after Antonelli's crash brought out a yellow flag and killed his qualifying. Ferrari wanted both men in the top 10, especially since both drivers have won this Grand Prix before. But now, their eyes were on Hamilton and ensure his victory. Better yet, Ava Florence was not there to steal pole. Well, not quite-

          AVA MADE IT TO Q3. She dug and crawled her silver Porsche to every next session. She knew her struggles, but it was easing. With every lap, every corner, she was learning the track all over again, trying to find the optimized line. But if anything added salt to her wound, both Williams made it into the top 10. WILLIAMS. Yet she, the championship leader, barely could?

"Hamilton is currently on pole and with three minutes to go, it looks he'll remain in pole. There's only one driver out on the track. Ava Florence. Her final lap. This hasn't been her afternoon. This hasn't been her track. Let's see what she makes of it today."

"Here we go, Crofty. Turn 1. Not the easiest of first turn. Be careful not to lock up. She doesn't. Now to Beau Rivage. Then onto Massanet... just get extremely close to the barrier and look at how close she gets. She's taking risks and, surely, she has to if she wants a shot at putting up a fight today at Monte Carlo. At Fairmont Harpin, down to 30 mph, the slowest corner in F1. Narrow. Tight. She gets out beautifully. To Portier and then down the tunnel. Crofty, she's doing wonderful."

"You would have a hard time convincing anyone that just ten minutes ago, this girl was struggling to make it into Q3. Look at how she's flying. Green sectors around. Through the Nouvelle Chicane. We saw Verstappen make up the time needed for pole here in 2023. Will 2025 be Ava's turn? Only time will tell. She slides beautifully through the Swimming Pool chicane. And just three more corners. La Rascasse and Anthony Noghes. Ava Florence, the championship leader, rookie sensation, cursed by Monaco, what time does she get today.... POLE POSITION! BY ALL ODDS, AVA FLORENCE HAS FOUGHT THROUGH THE CORNERS OF MONTE CARLO. AND ONCE AGAIN, IT WILL BE FERRARI IN DESPAIR AS AVA TAKES POLE POSITION FROM HAMILTON."

"That last sector was the closest thing to perfection I've ever seen. She gained tremendous time and I'm sure Hamilton is going to be have a hard look at the qualifying lap over and over again. How do you go from struggling in Q1 to pole position? Only Ava Florence knows."

HENRY And that is pole position for Sunday!

FLORENCE YES! OH MY GOD! YES! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

f1

Getting vintage with Ava Florence's pole lap in Monaco.

tagged: avaflorence

see comments below

user01: How on earth did she pull that off? ↳user02: I was watching qualifying Hamilton's in pole and then BAM 💥 ↳user03: because she's an icon

user05: The lap of the season! ↳user06: The lap of the decade ↳user07: The lap of the century ↳user08: The lap of F1 history

user09: RIP to yet another Hamilton pole 🪦 ↳user10: Hamilton leading the timing sheets gives Ava +10 attributes during qualifying

user10: She's winning the championship idc

MONACO GRAND PRIX STARTING GRID

AVA FLORENCE

LEWIS HAMILTON

SEBASTIAN VETTEL

CARLOS SAINZ

ALEXANDER ALBON

GABRIEL BORTOLETO

OSCAR PIASTRI

NICO HULKENBERG

LANDO NORRIS

MAX VERSTAPPEN

GEORGE RUSSELL

LANCE STROLL

LIAM LAWSON

FERNANDO ALONSO

CHARLES LECLERC

ANDREA KIMI ANTONELLI

OLLIE BEARMAN

YUKI TSUNODA

FRANCO COLAPINTO

ESTEBAN OCON

ISACK HADJAR

PIERRE GASLY

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the eighth round of the 2025 Formula 1 season and we are here in Monte Carlo for the Monaco Grand Prix. It just wouldn't be a Formula 1 season without coming to the beautiful streets of Monte Carlo. Saturday gave us a whirlwind of a qualifying, but first, let's a take a look at the track. 78 laps await us on a 3. 3 kilometer street circuit. We have one DRS zone located at the exit of Anthony Noghes and through the pit straight. And of course, the lap record set by Lewis Hamilton at 1:12. 909 in 2021. Joining me now is Martin Brundle."

"Yup. Just back from the grid. Exciting stuff to be shaping up. Monaco, as you know, not the easiest track to pass on. So, tire strategy is key here. All the teams, we're predicting, are one a one-stop strategy though there's debate on which one stop strategy is the best."

"That debate will be put to rest shortly as the drivers head out on their formation laps. Looking at the tire. All of the top ten drivers have to start on medium compound C4 tires. The bottom twelve have a choice to make as we see. Leclerc, Antonelli, and Ocon on the harder compound tires. Our pole sitter, Ava Florence, who had a shocking pole position lap yesterday leads back. I wonder how she'll cope with this situation. Monaco wasn't giving her the best of gifts. Though it did give her pole."

"As long Ava gets a good jump off the line, she'll have a relatively easy time staying in front thanks to the narrow track. Then again, safety cars are always an issue at Monaco. That would really makes pole position an unsettling feeling."

"Certainly, Martin as now the last of the drivers line up on the grid. Here we go. Round 8 in Monte Carlo. IT'S LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO! Hamilton is already gunning at Florence. Vettel is good off the line too. The two Williams behind. Close contact between Bortoleto and Piastri. Down they head to Turn 1. It's Hamilton so close to Florence- OH! THERE'S CARNAGE IN THE BACK! THERE'S SMOKE EVERYWHERE! WHAT HAS HAPPENED? Up ahead, Florence is still leading. It's yellow flags! And it's a catastrophic end to Esteban Ocon, Isack Hadjar, and Pierre Gasly's race. Hadjar and Gasly will fail to score points once again. And Ocon, after two brilliant races, will be knocked in the first lap."

"It looks like Gasly was trying to get past Hadjar, but he had just some sort of brake failure and rammed right into the back of the Racing Bull and that took out Ocon too. So, the safety car is deployed now. And that's going to help Florence just a bit because it means it cuts down the amount of the laps Hamilton has to gain her."

"But how many laps can you really survive with Hamilton chasing you down. You said, Martin, it is a tricky track to overtake on, but when you have someone as experienced and prone to winning as Hamilton, there's still going to be a shred of doubt in your mind as how you're going to keep your pole position."

LAP 7:

"After 6 laps behind the safety car, we're heading back to racing. Just to recap, Ocon, Hadjar, and Gasly are out of the race. So now we've got 19 cars running in the race. The safety car comes in and there's Ava Florence bunching up the pack. When will she go?... Now. Ava Florence is off. Good restart from her, covered quite a gap to Hamilton because now Vettel will be all over the back of that Ferrari. Behind, it's Albon and Sainz in a battle of their own. The two Williams who found themselves in the top 10 in Saturday scuffling. Out the Casino square the come and spiraling down the Fairmont Hairpin. And look at Vettel relentless on that Ferrari."

"Hamilton has two games to play now. Chasing Ava and defending against Vettel. Very tricky indeed. Behind the, Bortoleto and Piastri are in the same predicament. So, two exciting battles to look forward too."

HENRY We need to make these tires last as long as possible.

FLORENCE I don't think they'll go as long as you think, but I'll try

LAP 14:

"At the Nouvelle Chicane, Leclerc is going to be looking to make his move. He's been hounding Alonso for the past few laps, and now he's got his nose alongside the Aston Martin. They're side by side through the chicane - Leclerc on the inside, Alonso giving him just enough space. And Leclerc's through! Brilliant move from the Ferrari driver, who's now up to 14th place!"

"That's vintage Leclerc, isn't it? He's always been a master of these streets, and he's showing why once again. But he's not done yet - he's already closing in on Lawson ahead. Lawson did not get the gap to Alonso he wanted and he's going to pay for it because Leclerc is charging. He's about 1.6 seconds faster than Lawson."

LAP 28:

"Verstappen has been all over the back of Norris for the last few laps. He's getting a bit angsty now, isnt' he? He's trying to squeeze through on the inside at Hairpin! That's tricky to pull off. Norris is holding his line - oh, they've touched! Verstappen's front wing has clipped Norris's rear tire. That is not good for the Red Bull. That looks like major damage.

VERSTAPPEN I've got damage! This idiot!

GP Box immediately, Max!

"Verstappen's going to have to pit for a new front wing. That's a disaster for Red Bull, he'll be dropping well down the order. Norris seems to have escaped unscathed, but race control will surely be looking at that incident."

"Definitely. That looked like Norris just went a tad too far inside to squeeze out Verstappen. Seems dangerous if you ask me so let's see what the stewards think of it."

LAP 35:

"Sebastian Vettel is the first of our frontrunners to pit! The Porsche team has executed a flawless stop, but he's rejoining behind both Williams cars. That's going to be a tough ask for Vettel to get back on the podium."

"Meanwhile, at the front, Florence and Hamilton are still going strong. Their engineers told them to push for five or so more laps. It's becoming a game of tire management. Hamilton is pushing hard, trying to force Florence into a mistake or early pit stop. But the young Belgian is holding firm, matching Hamilton's pace lap after lap. Hamilton is just a tad bit faster, but not enough for overtaking."

LAP 42:

"Florence is in! Ava Florence pits from the lead. It's a clean stop, but will it be enough? Hamilton stays out, pushing hard on his worn mediums."

"And there's the call - Hamilton is in on the very next lap! It's going to be close as he exits the pit lane. Florence is charging down the start-finish straight, and... Hamilton just about gets out in front! But Florence is right on his gearbox as they head into Sainte Devote!"

LAP 43:

"Hamilton is in the pits - My goodness that was fast. Just what he needs because he didn't quite build enough of a gap to Florence. He's wobbling out the pitlane. There's Ava Florence. We can see her coming now. Is Hamilton ahead? He takes the safety road out... He's ahead! Oh the overcut worked for Ferrari. Hamilton will remain the lead!"

FLORENCE F***!

HENRY Don't worry about it, Ava. We still have a chance.

"A chance she does, but how big of a one?"

"Florence is all over the back of the Ferrari through Sainte Devote. She's going to get DRS on this lap. The gap is mere inches."

LAP 47:

"Florence gets a great run out of the tunnel. Look at that slipstream. Pulls alongside into the Nouvelle Chicane. Leclerc got the overtake done here before. But Hamilton holds the inside line firmly! Hamilton, the seven time champion, showing the rookie all his experience. She took the win from in Imola. He won't have that again."

"Is Hamilton's pace dropping though? We're seeing that Florence is three tenths faster on every lap. So, maybe the hard tires on Florence are more up to temperature than Florence or she's just managing them better."

LAP 50:

"Ava Florence just sets the fastest middle sector of the Grand Prix. She's flying out there in P2 and I'm sure she has plans to get into P1. Look at how she's just sticking to Hamilton. There's a lot of downforce here and she's using that her absolute advantage. She's on his gearbox! And oh- That could've been a disaster for both drivers."

"Florence had to lift off to avoid a collision at Rascasse. That was a good reaction. But you're right Crofty. That could've been race ending for both drivers. At this stage of the Grand Prix, you don't want that."

LAP 58:

"Florence goes around the outside at Casino Square. They're side by side, literally inches apart! What will Hamilton do? Hamilton just edging ahead as they spiral down to Mirabeau. The crowd is absolutely electric! INCREDIBLE MOMENT!"

"These are the moments that define careers. Florence is showing she's not just here to participate - she's here to compete. She just does not care if that's Hamilton in Monaco. She's just going go for it every time. And that's exciting for us race fans."

LAP 67:

"Hamilton's defending like a champion now. Florence is trying everything - left, right, probing for any weakness. Through the tunnel they go, and she's right on his tail! Braking for the chicane - OH! Hamilton with an impossibly late brake. Florence has to yield!"

LAP 73:

"Florence is still desperately hunting for a way past Hamilton. The race is in it's closing stages. They're climbing up the hill towards Casino Square, Florence getting a great exit from Massenet. She's closer than ever! Through Casino Square they go, Florence is right on Hamilton's gearbox. OH MY GOODNESS, SHE'S ALONGSIDE! Florence has the outside line, she's inching ahead! Down they plunge towards Mirabeau, neither driver willing to give an inch. Hamilton's trying to squeeze her to the inside, but Florence is having none of it. They're wheel-to-wheel, you could barely fit a sheet of paper between them!"

"She's picking the most tricky parts to overtake as Into the hairpin they go, still side-by-side!"

"What are we watching here Martin? Florence on the inside now, Hamilton trying to hang on around the outside. She's got the line. Can she get the position? OUT OF THE HAIRPIN, AND FLORENCE IS IN FRONT! SHE'S DONE IT! Ava Florence has taken the lead with just five laps to go! What a move, what a drive! The crowd is on their feet, the Tifosi are losing their minds!"

"Florence has done it! She's in clean air now, and if she can hold on for five more laps, we could be witnessing one of the great Monaco victories! Pole position by a near impossible lap, and now a near impossible overtake to win."

FINAL LAPS:

"And here we go, into the final three laps of this Monaco Grand Prix! Ava Florence leads, but Lewis Hamilton is not done yet. Hamilton's got a phenomenal exit out of Rascasse. Florence weaving, trying to break that tow. Hamilton's looking left, looking right, but Florence positions her car perfectly into Sainte Devote. Brilliant defensive driving!"

"If you told me that this was the driver struggling during Free Practice and Q1 and Q2 on this track, I would ask you to see a mental hospital. This is just superb driving. I know we aren't supposed to be biased towards a driver, but I think we're all really rooting for Florence to win this."

"What's that thing Sebastian Vettel once said? 'Everybody is a Ferrari fan.' Well, everybody is an Ava fan. Hamilton is throwing everything at this! But Ava is not letting up. He's all over the back of Florence through Massenet, through Casino Square. Down to Mirabeau they come, and HAMILTON'S GOING FOR IT! He's diving to the inside! He's going for the same move Florence did on him. Florence sees him coming, leaves just enough space. They're side by side through the hairpin! Florence hangs on, incredible stuff!"

"I think Florence knew that move was coming mostly because she did the same thing to him. She was like 'No, thank you. I know how to defend this.'"

...

"Florence leads by just half a second as they cross the line. Hamilton's pushing hard, he's gaining through Massenet, through Casino Square. He's lightning quick on those corners. They dive into the tunnel, Hamilton's right in Florence's slipstream! Out of the tunnel they come, Hamilton tries to go to the outside into the Nouvelle Chicane. Florence defends brilliantly! Through the Swimming Pool complex, Rascasse, Florence is holding on! Porsche pit crew holding on their seats. Final corner, Anthony Noghes, Florence gets a perfect exit! Down the straight they come, Hamilton's trying everything, but IT'S NOT ENOUGH! AVA FLORENCE WINS THE MONACO GRAND PRIX! What a drive, what a race! Florence takes her maiden Monaco victory by just three-tenths of a second! Incredible scenes here in Monte Carlo!"

"These are the kinds of drives that make you realize that a driver is truly special. I can't imagine the weight of the expectations on her head. First female driver, driving for a new team, rookie, and leading the championship. And to pull a performance like that is just absolutely brilliant."

HENRY That was the Grand Prix of a life time!

FLORENCE YEAH! F*** YES! OH MY F****** GOD! WOOH!

MONACO GRAND PRIX RESULTS

AVA FLORENCE (+25) LEWIS HAMILTON (+18) SEBASTIAN VETTEL (+15) CARLOS SAINZ (+12) ALEXANDER ALBON (+10) GABRIEL BORTOLETO (+8) NICO HULKENBERG (+6) OSCAR PIASTRI (+4) LANDO NORRIS (+2) MAX VERSTAPPEN (+1)

GEORGE RUSSELL CHARLES LECLERC LIAM LAWSON FERNANDO ALONSO ANDREA KIMI ANTONELLI LANCE STROLL OLLIE BEARMAN YUKI TSUNODA FRANCO COLAPINTO

ESTEBAN OCON (DNF) ISACK HADJAR (DNF) PIERRE GASLY (DNF)

f1

Monaco winner Ava Florence has a nice ring to it.

see comments below

user01: HOLY SHIT SHE DID IT! ↳user02: RAAH AVA FLORENCE FOR WDC!!

user04: Only a rookie and already producing some of the greatest wins in F1 ↳user05: She somehow made the Monaco GP watchable ↳user06: She's definitely going to the wind the championship 💯

porschef1: @/scuderiaferrari ur turn ↳scuderiaferrari: But... Hamilton was second? ↳user07: Omg pls post the pictures of the bet

user07: Ava + Hamilton + Vettel + Willaims in the top 10 ↳user08: I think I'm in some alternate universe cuz wtf was this? 😆

williamsracing: What about us? ↳user09: You were amazing! Vamos Sainz 🫶

avaflorence

Sorry for calling you overrated Monaco.

see comments below

user01: No YOU made Monaco watchable this year! ↳user02: That overtake on Hamilton was CRAZY

user03: It's confirmed — you're going to win the championship ↳user04: 4 wins alr is crazy

sebastianvettel: We told you got this. Congrats 🎉 ↳avaflorence: Thank you Papa Seb🙏 ↳fernandoalonso: Hey, don't forget about me. ↳avaflorence: Yes yes u were great to Sigmando Alonso ↳user05: lmao what is this family tree? 🤣

porschef1: Thank you for helping me win the bet ↳avaflorence: Ur cheating one me tho 😡

scuderiaferrari + porschef1

[Text]: Compromised

↳user01: SO PRETTY 😍

↳user02: Its a good day to be a Ferrari and Porsche fan

↳avaflorence: ur cheating on me ↳porschef1: luv ya too 🥰

WORLD DRIVERS CHAMPIONSHIP

WORLD CONSTRUCTOR CHAMPIONSHIPS

taglist: @freyathehuntress @allthings-fandoms

[mornyavie]

As I sit here yet again watching the slow-motion train crash of someone bad at organizing organize something, I will offer my unsolicited advice to tumbler instead:

You know that joke about how no one can get together ever? Your TTRPG group lasts a month, your friends' next meetup is in a year and a half, your book club took a week off and immediately fell apart?

Two points that help immensely:

1.

No open-ended questions. Don't walk up to someone or pull up the group chat and ask "when can we meet?"

No one knows how to answer that!

Instead make your own decision, ask, and refine. Ask "can we get together Tuesday evening" or "hey are people free this Friday or Saturday?" or "what about Sunday at 11am?" Then they have a clear yes/no question to respond to, and if the answers are all "no" you can choose a different day/date and try again.

Brought to you by someone asking 9 people "when can we meet this month?" Are you expecting a detailed month-long calendar from nine people to be sent to the group chat? You get crickets and "well I can do wednesdays I guess" because that's far too large a time frame for anyone to provide a decision.

2.

Some people can't come. That's ok. If there's four of you, three can meet up sometimes. It's fine. Try to keep track of whether you're always excluding the same person (even if they're the really busy one), but perfect is the enemy of good, and seeing groups of your friends is better than endlessly waiting until you can meet all of them.

The aforementioned nine people are almost never going to be in the same spot at once, and if you hold out for that magic day it'll never happen. You aren't being mean to someone by choosing a time they can't come; just make sure that they know you miss them, and that they get to come next time.

[quietwingsinthesky]

sometimes interpreting media through a shipping lens enhances it, on occasion even beyond the author’s original intent, but sometimes, you do have to accept that your ship was not in the heads of anyone making the source material and trying to force it to fit into evidence of your ship will severely hinder your ability to discuss the actual text.

[dykedvonte]

If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Okay I thought I was done but apparently I'm not. I need to talk more about this banter you can get during the Legacy DLC between Aveline and Warden Carver because it makes me want to scream.

Aveline: I'm glad you found a place with the Wardens. Carver: Well, it's not the city guard, but it'll do. Aveline: Carver... it wasn't the place for you. Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I? Aveline: Well...

In my last post, I talked about how Aveline had no place telling the guard to refuse Carver's application, regardless of if he was "right" for the job or not. But I believe he would've made a great guard, and getting that job not only would've provided for him and his family during a desperate time, but would've prevented him from either fate of becoming a warden or a templar. He was unfairly robbed of a chance to prove himself because Aveline believed he wasn't right for the guard.

This is one of the banters I brought up but didn't go too in depth about. At this point, it's been between 3-6 years since Act 1, depending on if you decided to do Legacy in Act 2 or Act 3, and every line here is important.

Carver's response to Aveline saying she's glad he "found a place" with the wardens is so telling. Not being accepted by the guard is still on his mind after all this time. He wouldn't bring it up if it didn't still bother him, and implies that he still would've preferred the guard over the wardens.

Which... yeah. Listen, I'm a dedicated "Carver joins the Grey Warden" player. I don't like leaving him behind to become a templar, and I certainly don't like him dying. For me, the Grey Wardens are the best outcome he has. It’s where he seems the happiest and finds the most fulfilment, and it fits well with how I play my Hawke. But it obviously has some tragic issues.

Like the fact that becoming a Grey Warden only delayed his inevitable death within the Deep Roads. Eventually his Calling will come, and Carver will go back down there and fight until the darkspawn eventually kill him. I'm sure that's not traumatic to think about given he was a soldier at Ostagar and then watched Bethany die at the hands of an ogre. Oh, and there's the whole nightmares and voices thing.

Carver didn't choose this life for himself. It was either this or death, but a "what if?" still lingers in his mind about the city guard.

Something Aveline ruined for him.

And continues to ruin.

Aveline: Carver... it wasn't the place for you.

You hear that? In the distance? That's me screaming.

I must reiterate; what makes Aveline believe it's her place to tell Carver whether or not the city guard was right for him? Why did she think she should get a say in whether or not the guard takes him? What's made it HER call?

And still, after all this time has passed, she believes it wasn't right for him and she's unwilling to consider otherwise. Maker forbid she do some reflection and question if she was in the right for interfering at all, too!

Carver is standing right there before her, proving everything she said about him wrong, and she just doubles down. There's no reason to say this to him unless she's trying to remind him of his place; he's a Grey Warden, and she's Guard-Captain of Kirkwall's city guard. But c'mon, Aveline, he's hardly a threat to your precious guard anymore given the whole dedication to killing darkspawn thing he has now.

Maybe if you paid more attention to the threats within your guard, Kirkwall would be a safer place with less murder going around? Just saying!

But isn't that how it's always been? Aveline putting him in his place, making sure Carver remembers she's always outranked him?

Carver: Did you approve my application? Aveline: I can't make you a guard, Carver. Carver: We were both soldiers. Why won't they take me? Aveline: I was an officer. And I follow orders. Carver: [laughs] No you don't. Aveline: I also think of others before myself. You seem tired of that, and that's dangerous. Carver: Just when it's not my choice. You told them not to take me, didn't you? Aveline: Yes.

That he should remember who he's talking to?

Carver: I'm surprised you still travel with us, Aveline. Aveline: Carver, don't. Carver: You're ever so busy with the guardsmen. It must be a burden to slum with the refugees. Aveline: It's oddly comforting that you insult me like I'm family. Carver: That wasn't... no, I didn't mean that. Aveline: I know. But you should be glad that's how I took it.

That she's in charge?

Aveline: Your form's sloppy, Carver. Stiffen up or the darkspawn will take your blade. Carver: Right. I'll keep that in mind. Aveline: And you're angry, why? Carver: You didn't fare any better than I did the last time we faced darkspawn. Aveline: If they take your blade, people die. That's not happening again. Stiffen up. Carver: Yes ma'am.

Oh, and she used to spy on him [and Hawke].

Aveline: I don't like some of the people you've been associating with, Carver. Carver: Talk to my brother/sister. He/She's the one in charge. Aveline:  Maybe, but I know you get around. This city's full of people who are dead set on ending badly. I don't want to see you end up the same way. Carver: Would asking you to stop spying on me help in the least? Aveline: No.

That's their banter.

But sure, she's glad he found a place in the wardens. I don't think she's being ingenuine when she says that, but I think it's a little more complicated than a mere "congrats on doing well, I knew you could do it."

But Carver's response? Oh Maker's ass. It actually hurts me.

Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I? Aveline: Well...

I... what can I even say?

He accepts it, but you can tell it hurts to do so. It DID cost a lot. More than Aveline will ever understand. And it doesn't matter now! He can't become a guard now anyway, so what would be the point in him disagreeing with her? Carver acts as the bigger person here because he does get it, even if Aveline doesn't.

But it's that last part... that last damn part... Don't be alarmed, that screaming you hear is still me.

Here's the deal; Carver acknowledges that he could be an ass back in Act 1. Hell, he acknowledges it IN Act 1. For example, when you talk to him after finding your grandfather's will, he's an ass to you about Bethany no matter what you say.

But y'know what? You can be the biggest piece of shit to him and have Hawke literally call him a "lazy brat with a chip on his shoulder," and Carver will still be the one to be apologetic for what he said and attempt to explain his feelings.

"Brother/Sister... I feel... I don't know. It's like Mother taking things out on us. She was just scared. I don't have a place in the life she's trying to bring back…"

Carver can be an ass, but he's aware of that and actively tries to change his behavior. If you bring him and Fenris with you on the Mark of the Assassin DLC, there's a moment where Carver says, "You still don't like me? I've tried to change." And if you bring Varric, he once again acknowledges that he used to be an ass.

BUT... that being said. If you don't remember, "I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I?" is referencing back to this conversation in the barracks of Act 1:

Hawke: This must be a very different pace from serving King Cailan. Aveline: It's just one more change, though. The real end for me was Ostagar. What about you Carver? You were there. Do you feel something similar? Carver: No. Aveline: All right, then. Bit of a tit, your brother.

Now, I've already expressed my beef with Aveline over insulting Carver in the middle of the barracks just because he doesn't agree with her view point on Ostagar... but consider the fact that Carver says nothing. He just lets her insult him without a complaint! Carver Hawke, who tends to complain! And he says nothing!

Not only that, but he actually internalized that insult enough that years later he's able to repeat it back to Aveline word for word, and all she has to say is, "Well..."

This isn't the same thing as him reflecting on his past behavior and acknowledging his flaws. This is Carver accepting a snide jab Aveline made that hurt him because apparently he was wrong for not wanting to discuss any trauma Ostagar left him with as openly as she does.

Oh, and don't forget that any other companion you brought along dogpiles on, too!

Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I? Aveline: Well... Varric: No shit. Fenris: Insufferable. Isabela: Legendary. Anders: Maker, yes. Sebastian: I've heard as much. [If Hawke has a humorous/charming personality] Hawke: Spoiled, annoying, thick-headed, brattish little nitwit of a... oh, have we stopped?

Y'all ever wonder why he's so on edge or hostile with the other companions?

Also, I have to point out that Merrill is the only companion who doesn't say anything in agreement if she's there. In fact, across all their banter, Merrill's never been rude or insulting toward him. All she does is ask him if he's talking dirty to her and compliments him on what a great sworder he is. It's pretty obvious why Carver develops a crush on her, c'mon.

But to wrap this up-

This banter strikes a nerve due to how telling it is about both characters involved.

Carver has grown and done what he can to improve himself, but there's regret that lingers, a longing for a better life he could've had if given a chance. Maybe he would've failed, maybe he would've succeeded. But there's nothing he can do now, so he looks forward, just as he's always wanted to do. He's a damn good Grey Warden who wants to do right.

Aveline remains stagnant. She hasn't changed, nor has she improved, and maybe she would if she could figure out how to dislodge her head from her own ass. She still believes she was in the right to tell the guard not to accept Carver's application despite knowing the Hawke's were desperate and that Fereldan refugees couldn't find work. She knew Carver's a skilled soldier who fought at Ostagar just as she did. The guard wasn't the place for him so she's in the right to deny him any chance. Aveline knows best.

And y'know what, I think all I have left to say is...

Fine, Aveline. You're right. It wasn't the place for him.

Carver was too good for your city guard.

[skrunksthatwunk]

have just been introduced to a kitten named rascal who lives on my floor and whose babysitters (who are not his owner?) were trying Really hard to goad me into adopting which like. he's a little baby and he's so so so silly and he barely even bit me but like also. this cat isn't yours???? anyway if the owner's giving him up then I might finally have a cat which like AHHHHHG

[kindnessoverperfection]

I've found that, when interacting with others (or myself), it's useful to consider the lessons I'd want to teach a growing child.

If a child makes a mistake, I wouldn't want them to feel shame. I wouldn't yell at them, humiliate them, or in any way indicate to them that their mistake is a reflection of their worth or of who they are as a person.

Instead, I'd want them to associate the process with love and joy. If they say something that hurts someone's feelings, or otherwise ostracizes someone in some way, I'd compassionately explain to them. Ideally, they'd walk away knowing why they said / did it in the first place, how to handle similar situations in the future, and would accept the consequences (e.g. if a friend no longer wanted to hang out with them).

While the consequences may sometimes be painful, I'd do my best to instill in them that mistakes are human and natural, and that the process of learning from these mistakes is an opportunity to improve connections with others and express love.

I have a tendency towards excessive guilt. Memories in which I've said / done something ignorant or hurtful are infused with this guilt and shame- but ideally, I'd feel a sense of love and peace, and perhaps happiness, when looking back on them. Because they were moments of growth, moments I learned how to be more compassionate (even if the actual learning came years later).

So I'll put this out into the void:

When you make a mistake, that is not a reflection of you as a person. It is a moment in time, a moment which was informed by your past experiences. Humans are not static labels, or monsters in an RPG game. We are social creatures who live and learn and react and grow and experience and love. Be gentle with yourself and move forward knowing you're doing so in accordance with your values.

[sea-buns]

there's this baby kitty in my neighborhood whose tail has been injured and as far as we know doesn't have any owners. we finally got her trusting enough to come up on the front porch and sleep, but the rush of power at being on higher ground must have gone to her head cuz she has since completely ignored us for 3 days while she stalks her terrorizer so hard he waits at her feet in fear of her weirdness. well i think the bout of ghosting us when we call for food time might be over cuz this morning there was a bird next to the front mat and she was screaming for sustenance. the thing is, earlier in the morning she was out there yelling but we didn't have time to feed her then. and we only saw the bird when we came back about an hour later so. either it was already there and we missed it or she said 'oh no food? i can trade u want trade? we share?' and ran to go find an offering. but also the bird she brought isn't one we really get at our feeders so this skinny little paperweight of a cat ran a fair distance somewhere and carried this bird that's the size of her head, if not bigger, back uphill, upstairs, through a patio gate, and gently lined it up next to the mat. not even on the mat. it was perfectly parallel but out of the way of where we walk. i maybe should have been more horrified than i was but frankly i've been missing her and i am flattered by the sentiment.

[shiroselia]

While I am glad that they didn’t, as someone who generally still enjoys pre-mouth rig gen 3, I still cannot for the life of me fathom why the god damn hell SSE didn’t split off the generations with the jorvik wild and just bit the bullet on either the mouth-rigs being gen 4 or atleast 3.5

Not even just for the pedantic shit they’d have so much fucking logistics fixed by it it’s actually insanity that the connemara and the... any horse after like the Finnhorse is allowed to be considered “the same generation of model quality”

[tonycries]

Love Thy D!LF - T.F.

Synopsis. Yes, your neighbor is a hot, pérvy D!LF. Yes, he’s a total tease. No, you don’t think your poor new bed frame is going to stay in one piece…

Pairing. Toji Fushiguro x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, older! Toji, voyéurísm, pánty-stéaling, male mast., exhibítionísm, he is so DOWN BAD, matíng presses, marathon s, víbrators, oraI (fem rec.), face-sítting, p slápping, p talking, BRÉEDING, mentions of kids, PÚSSYDRÚNK TOJI, proposals, overstím, creampíes, shóoting blanks, he’s a tease that’s shírtless half the time, Megumi’s a real one, pet names, swéaring.

Word count. 8.1k (PHEW)

A/N. Apartment building wouldn’t last a week if he was my neighbor.

Neighbor (UGH): another pair of those cute lil’ pajama shorts made their way onto my balcony again, ma.

Your neighbor was a tease.

Ever since you’d stepped foot into this apartment building a mere few months ago, it seemed like everything and anything he did was to rile your poor head up into a frenzy - and, well, down there…

Because, for lack of a better term, Toji Fushiguro was hot. 

Once your landlord had off-handedly mentioned that the occupant of the apartment right beside your own was a single father, you’d imagined a sweet older man that doted on his young son and would likely steer clear out of your way. 

What you certainly had not expected was for your housewarming gift of a fresh batch of cookies to be oh-so-blatantly greeted by a staggeringly gorgeous man that took up every inch of the doorframe. Shirtless.

Bzzt–!

Your skin burns with the realization of just how deeply you’d been reminiscing back to that heavenly sight, hastily snapping your eyes back onto your blaring phone screen.

Neighbor (UGH): well? hurry before i start to like them too much <3

Ugh, you’re rolling your eyes at that mischievous little heart placed at the end of his text. It was absolutely embarrassing how that was enough to have a tiny squeal slipping through your lips involuntarily. Calling you flirty nicknames, flashing winks your way, lingering his hands just slightly whenever he helped carry your groceries upstairs - Toji did everything. 

You find yourself giving your reflection a slow one-over in your phone camera - just in case. Before padding eagerly down the treacherous pathway that carried you out of your apartment and along the five steps down the corridor to your neighbor’s door. 

Heaving out a shaky breath, you knock.

And Toji Fushiguro never made you wait. He never had you standing in the hallway for more than two seconds before that heavy wooden door swings open…almost as if he’d been suspiciously standing by for this.

“Took ya long enough. Heh, I was beginning to think you almost wanted me to have it, doll.”

Oh.

Oh.

Shit, you should’ve known - and it takes every ounce of will in your body to keep your gaze locked with the forest-green eyes sweeping down the expanse of your figure. Greedily. 

Because Toji was showing off what looked like miles upon miles of slightly-tanned, bulging muscles that were just about seconds away from ripping straight through the thin, white undershirt that stuck to him like a second skin. Molding to every curve and dip down, down, down- 

It’s not something new exactly, and if there was one thing you’d learned during your time here, it was that your eccentric neighbor wasn’t shy to show skin.

Especially around you. 

In one hand was grasped the soft fabric of your cotton shorts, swallowed up by his thick digits. The other propping up on top of the door to flex his strong biceps in a way that makes you gulp. 

You notice with a jolt that Toji’s pinkish tongue briefly peaks out to swipe over that sinful scar sitting prettily at the very edge of his smug smirk. Moving to hum cockily, “Cat got yer tongue?”

He knew what he was doing. 

God, this was already shameful enough without him making it worse. You were only grateful that so far you’d been called over for only a few sundresses and t-shirts - nothing scandalous, yet. 

“No-” you’re mumbling out. Trying oh-so-hard to not let your eyes flicker to the too-tight strain of his boxers around his thick thighs. Failing. “Just wondering how you probably need those shorts more than me, anyway.”

He didn’t - in fact, you’d prefer him without one.

A fat thumb of his finds its way to the hem of his boxers, tugging down so tantalizingly slightly to give you a sexy flash of skin. Lined with a sharp hipbone, and a dark happy trail - “S’that your way of tellin’ me you want me out of this, ma?”

“You wish, pervert.” You try to swipe at your shorts, only for Toji to dangle it far, far away from you. “I just meant those b-boxers look like they’ve seen better days. Years, even.” 

“Hah?” Toji’s dragging out mockingly, leaning his broad shoulders against the doorframe. He’s crossing his hands, letting your sight be obscured by the display of his strong, rippling forearms. So close now that you feel his breath fan your face, could smell every waft of his cinnamony masculine scent. Grin only widening, “M’being nice enough to take the time outta my day to hand over your cute lil’ pieces of laundry and this is how ya talk to me? I have better things to do, y’know.”

Huffing, you’re ready with a quick apology on the very tip of your tongue to get this over with as soon as possible. That is, before-

“He’s lying.”

Both of you snap your heads down towards the direction of the sullen, deadpanning voice. And you already know by the wearied sigh at the end who it belongs to. 

“Why, hello there, Megs-” you’re smiling, reaching out to ruffle those spikes of black hair that’d magically manifested beside the door. Ignoring Toji’s affronted grunts of “he never lets me do that.”

“He’s lying, y’know.” Megumi blinks his eyes up at you, and you silently wonder just how it was possible for a six-year-old to look like he’s seen all the horrors of the world already. He’s ruthless. Pointing a sharp, accusatory finger up at his father, “He doesn’t have better things to do. He’s been giggling disgustingly to himself in front of the door for the past-”

“That’s enough- why don’t you get some homework done, my son.” Toji’s clapping his hand immediately over Megumi’s mouth, wrangling his tiny, thrashing body over one shoulder before briefly disappearing inside. 

“Just tell her!”

“I’m taking your iPad time away!”

It’s just about all that you hear from inside before he makes his appearance again - shaggy, black tresses now disheveled, high cheekbones flushed, and from the corner of your very obvious staring you notice a pearly bead of sweat disappear between his cushiony pecs. Though, your eyes follow, you didn’t mind…

“Tch- kids these days, right?” he’s gasping in a few hurried lungfuls. Planting the shorts into your open palms, his calloused pads linger on your hand. “S-so uh, I take that the dryer’s not working, yet?”

You’re sighing, rubbing your fingers over your throbbing temples. “Yeah, I told Higuruma- our landlord to look at it, but he’s still on that business trip and won’t be back for a while. Sorry about all this, Toji.”

“Please-” he’s waving. “You worry your pretty lil’ head too much, it’s not like m’complaining now. Am I?”

“Yeah but-”

“Besides. Why don’t I take a look at it?”

“What?” your brows scrunch together, and the thought of Toji being inside your home made your words tremble ever-so-slightly with- anticipation? Excitement? Want? Whatever it was, it made his dark brows raise, and you’re sure you had an utterly unexplainable look on your face right now. “Do you even know how to?”

He’s scoffing, eyes rolling at you with practice. “Asking me if I know how to fix shit- of course, I fuckin’ know how to fix a dryer. Probably better than ol’ clipboard Higuruma himself. You need to be taken care of, y’know.”

And, yes, that might be so - but more than that came the idea that Toji had to enter your home to do so. You couldn’t help but think of something else. Making you mutter out a heated, “I’ll…consider it.”

He smiles a smug smile, a tiny dimple digging into the very end of his cheek. “Tha’s what I like to hear, ma.”

The very second that door shuts, you’re rushing back to your own apartment. Shorts clutched to your thumping heartbeat and thighs slightly weaker than they were just a few minutes ago. Slightly…hotter. Ready to scramble back into your bedroom and create just a bit more laundry for tomorrow. 

And only a few seconds later does Toji find himself doing the most pathetic fistbump behind closed doors. The beginnings of a sleazy smile on the very edges of his lips. 

“Smooth, dad.”

“Now I’m serious about no iPad-”

Megumi’s running back into his room before that rasping threat has even left Toji’s predictable lips. Grumbling, he’s making his way to that godforsaken frog-cased iPad cushioned in the middle of the sofa, possibly to hide it away for a few hours.

And then, he sees it. 

Now, one of the very reasons that Toji had rented this apartment in the first place was for that idyllic skyline winking up from over his balcony. Towering buildings, flashing lights, all overlooking his living room couch - which, unfortunately for him - or, well, fortunately more like - just-so-happened to be positioned right next to your own balcony lined with laundry. 

So it wasn’t exactly a surprise for him to catch a fluttering piece of cotton or ratty sleep shirt of yours for him to tease about later. 

With a sigh at the flashing piece of fabric, he’s shuttering the sliding window open - ready to call your pretty self over again before-

“Shit.” Toji hisses, deep baritone wavering. His brows are raising down at the stray cloth, prominent Adam’s apple bobbing with a gulp. You really wear this type of shit? Well, he shouldn’t exactly be surprised but…

But this?

Because wrapped easily around his long fingers was a pair of pretty, pretty lace panties. Panties. All pink and see-through enough that Toji thinks he could see his own fingerprints through that flimsy excuse of underwear. 

All of a sudden…his hands mindlessly raise up, up, up - mere inches away from his nose when…fuck.

“Damn, woman.” he’s spitting, snapping back to his senses. Ignoring the tightening in his pants to speedwalk his hasty way over to his bedroom in search of his phone. Just a few clicks away from texting you- “Gonna be the fuckin’ death of me I swear-”

And, see, Toji Fushiguro isn’t the type to stutter. 

He isn’t the pathetic type to let anyone else’s voice shoot a bolt of electricity down his spine - to choke right in the middle of his sentence. 

But, you always did throw him off, didn’t you?

Because he’s letting his maw slack open in a sharp gasp- no, shudder at the muffled, drawling sound from beyond the walls. Fingers loosening around his phone in sheer shock when he snaps his head towards his shared wall where your bedroom was. 

Where he could hear your honeyed voice. Moaning. 

And Toji gulps…before locking the door to his bedroom.

Like an animal, he’s immediately sneaking up to press his greedy ear against the wall where it was emanating from. Aching for every tiny gasp and whine, he could just imagine the way you were splayed out across your plush mattress, fingers buried deep.

So cute.

“Please- it feels s-so good.” Comes your cute mewl, followed by the buzzing vrrrr—! of what he assumes to be that hot pink rose toy of yours that’d accidentally gotten delivered to his address last week. And Toji almost snickers.

“F-fuck-” he breathes out shakily. Unabashedly listening for more, more, more- “Ya can’t be serious- what a treat.”

And Toji knows he should be the bigger person and stop listening, he knows he should ignore the sultry way your trembling moans were sending shockwaves down to his tight boxers. But he can’t.

“Ngh- r-right there-” you’re whimpering, and Toji tuts at the way he could’ve found your sweet spots much earlier. “-yeah- hah- jus’ a little more- Toji-”

His phone clatters! to the ground.

Did you just say…his name?

“Fuck-” One massive hand of his comes down to clap over his jaw-dropped mouth, biting back an answering moan coming from something dangerously dark, primal from inside his heaving chest. 

Shit, he can’t breathe - he can’t even think right now because every drop of blood in Toji’s entire body was sprinting down to his heavy cock smacking down his thigh. Rock-hard. Angry. Just twitching when your voice repeats his name louder. 

“Toji—!”

Ah, there it was again. And with it, he can feel every shred of his sanity being thrown away. Only once- twice was enough to get Toji addicted. To have his melty mind yearning to hear it again. And again. And again and again and-

Toji feels pathetic. 

Like some hormone-hazed, younger version of himself when his hands frantically fumble their way to hook into the elastic band of his boxers. Feeling absolutely zero guilt when he tugs-

Toji was hard. Painfully, furiously hard just from the mere sound of your voice. Swollen and sobbing. It was enough to have his fat, strawberry-pink tip smack! against his toned abs, smearing down a wet glissade of precum that makes him hiss. All but drooling at the scratch of your panties being wrapped delicately around his sensitive shaft. 

“Oh god.” he’s breathing out, thumbing over a wet glide on the bawling divot of his swollen head. It’s pooling like a translucent little puddle, wet enough that those pearlescent beads gloss a wet trail all the way down to his wrist. And he’s popping the salted-caramel digit into his mouth. “Wh-who the fuck do ya think you are ta get me this hard, ma?”

The fat curve of his thumb latches on to plug up the very ends of his cock, stopping himself from wasting a single precious drop before listening.

For anything.

“C-c’mon–” Toji lets his heavy body lean against the wall after a few more sloppy squelches that pull from your saturated cunt. He could already hear how dripping wet you were. How needy. “Wanna hear your hah- pretty lips talk-”

Toji’s sinking his sharp canines onto his lower lip to hold back a groan. Because as much as he loved to hear himself talk - hearing you moan was worth more than anything. Even if it cost him his rationality to quieten down. Please- 

Ah, his prayers are answered.

Because the wall slightly jitters with your vibrating voice once more. “Oh- sh-shit it feels so good-”

“Heheh, does it?” he’s grunting, drawing a slow wetness of swirls on the underside of his slit. Hard enough to send him seeing stars. “Tell me- t-tell me more, ma.”

And could you read his mind?

Because whatever’s left of it certainly seems to think so at the way that no sooner are the words spilling from his babbling lips that you’re feeding his blessed ears with a few more syrupy sweet whines. And Toji shivers when he hears the creak of your bed.

Damn…he could make it break. He’s sure. 

The thought is enough to send his hips rutting into his fist, furiously fucking up into it like he was angry. Like he wishes he could do with you-

“O-oh-” Toji gasps out a hot, condensed breath feeling the slight massage of your thin panties at his twitchy balls. He’s unsteadily picking its sticky cloth apart to press it even deeper into the drenched tufts of black at his hilt, down every thumping vein that’s lightning-bolted down his length. “This thing b-barely even wraps around my cock, doll.”

He’s hot. So, so hot. Latching onto the hem of his undershirt with his teeth to swipe across his sensitive nipples. 

Burning.

And, really, he didn’t know what was worse for his poor self - your noises from just the other room, or the way your panties felt so good down his cock in this one. 

“Good fuckin’ girl.” He twirls your panties around his fat hilt, meshing against the creamy pink at his hefty base. Fucking it up, up, up with pound after pound that half-leaves the poor thing in tatters. Well, he sure hoped you didn’t like this pair too much. “Probably so fuckin’ oh- wet now, huh? Did I do that? Didn’t know you were s-such a slut f’me.”

Every slobbering drag down his length has Toji’s dark brows knitting together. Back and forth back and forth back and- So hard. 

So hot and heavy. He could barely catch his breath, sweat perspires across his forehead, and Toji could almost taste the metallic tang of blood when he’s holding back every rasping ah! ah! ah! just to hear your voice. 

It was agonizing. 

And he couldn’t help but imagine the way you were probably toying your tired fingers over your clit - the way you’d probably be so shy at how he could so clearly hear you. Killing Toji that it was the only thing he could do.

SLAM!

“Shit-” Toji’s snapping his head up at the mindless way his free hand had come smashing down onto the nearby drawer for any shred of balance. Sharp ears searching desperately for any sign that you’d heard-

“Ngh- yes- jus’ a bit more-”

He breathes out a guilty sigh of relief when the saturated slurps of your cunt only continue. Filling his mind sloppily like his favorite song. Gulping in a harsh wad of saliva before spitting a thick stream right onto the very edge of his plump, reddish head. His hulking body wracks with a violent shudder as it drip! drip! drips down every tender spot on his swollen cock. Beading down to cover his heavy balls in a thin sheen of spit. 

“Look what you’ve done.” he’s spitting. Other hand coming down to rub lazy, massaging circles around his bulbous, cum-filled sacks. The sheer stimulation enough to have his head lolling drunkenly against the wall.

“M’so close-” Your voice only makes Toji fuck into his hand even harder - if only it was you. You, you, you - the only thing playing around his currently stupid mind. “-g-gonna cum ah-”

That makes him bawl out another furious wave of precum staining your panties see-through, glinting with every flutter down his raw cock. Faster. It was building and building up so close-

“C-close already?” he’s snickering, bending at the knees with how weak he was. Toji’s biceps flex and and ache with just how wildly he was fucking up into his fist, abs rippling with each wild buck. He half-wonders if he’d be able to see that pretty frilly pattern of your panties imprinted on his cock the next day. Over and over- “I woulda m-made you cum sooner.”

Would your beautiful eyes roll to the very back of your head when you did?

Would you beg him to cum, too? To fill you up. To breed you. Shit, that had his hefty shaft twitch in his hands, electricity flashing behind Toji’s eyes. 

Would you moan his name - oh, please moan his name.

“P-please-” Toji finds himself gasping, and his entire body was hunched over now. Pathetic. Waiting for any second that you’d reach your high - he was a gentleman, after all. “Cum f’me- ah fuck fuck fuck-” Twiddling a manicured thumb in a slow line underneath his sensitive slit, it was making him moan so dangerously loud. “-please- cum on this fuckin’ cock, ma.”

“Fuck! Toji-” Comes your yelp, and it makes his mouth water. Breath held in a choked-up gasp in his puffing chest, “-m’cumming.”

He could see it already - just how pretty you’d look with your head thrown back and your back arching into his cock when you finally reach your high. 

Now, Toji doesn’t know what overtook him to drag those drenched panties up to his face - to press it thoroughly against his nose and smell your essence. Breathing it in. drinking it in. But he can’t pretend like he hadn’t imagined it many, many times before. 

And it makes him cum 

It makes him shudder with a heavy puff of air, once. Twice. Before dumping and dumping out stringy wads of seed until your soft panties were soaked.

“Oh shit- shit shit shit-” he spews out a slurring slew of profanities, painfully hard cock bursting at the end with wet splatters of cum. So much of it. It’s making such a filthy mess that he almost feels guilty. 

Jaw clenching when he’s forced to part with your panties with a pained gruff, sliding it along his thoroughly coated cock. Hi cum seeps through the fabric and into a milky puddle that pools at his wrist, dripping down a milky sheen across his skin. 

“Mmpf–” his mouth salivates. A low, disappointed scoff bursting at the back of his throat when your own obscene noises quieten down. He missed you already. Dewy eyes veering to the back of his head, he’s only wondering how much prettier these would look on you. Still as ruined. “You’d be lucky to get these fuckin’ panties back, woman.”

Bzzt–! 

From its discarded place on the floor, he can read the notification flashing across the phone screen.

Cutie-next-door: I’ve decided - can you come by tomorrow to fix the dryer, pleeeease?

---

“-ah, ya see when this vent is clogged s’gonna stop working. And so what you hafta do is-”

You weren’t listening.

You couldn’t.

Because Toji Fushiguro was sprawled out across your cramped kitchen - completely shirtless.

You had half the mind to turn him away after he’d knocked on your door with absolutely no sign of any upperwear - that sleazy grin plastered all over his face begging the answer to whether this was on purpose. To tease you. “Can move better this way” your ass. 

But the thought of having even more of your laundry fly away, forcing you to potentially face this very same display multiple times is what had you opening your front door wider to let him inside. 

No matter how much you would’ve appreciated the view…

And so here you were, squirming in one corner of the kitchen while Toji worked on your dryer. Sweat sheening down his swole muscles, disappearing in tempting beads down underneath his low-hanging pants. Slight smears of grease decorate his pecs, and you have to cross your arms to stop yourself from thumbing them away. He was so handy. 

Shit, this was why you’d dolled-up just a bit more than usual. He was so-

“-doll? Doll.”

“Uh-” you’re yelping, blinking your eyes back up to meet an extraordinarily smug smirk now directed at you. “W-what were you saying?”

“Heh, I was saying you should take a picture, it’ll last longer.” he titters with a slight rumble, tools clinking when he’s taking off his bulky gloves. “Ya can enjoy the view later, but I was askin’ if ya had anything to dry right now to test this piece of junk.”

Urgently, you’re looking towards your empty laundry basket. “Sorry, seems that I dried them all out yesterday.”

“No pressure, besides-” You can only watch when he shuffles a hand inside one of his curiously bulging pant pockets. “-I came prepared.”

“Wh-wha- where did you get that?” 

Because held so daintily within Toji’s cocky clutches, dangled one of your missing pairs of panties. They looked recently washed, and you’re reaching with a yelp for it. Falling onto your knees to match his seated position - which, obviously didn’t mean he’d hand it over. 

Why would he? This was Toji Fushiguro. 

He only throws them into your dryer, before closing the door with a dark snicker, “More like why let them fly their merry way over to my balcony again. Honestly- you call me the tease but look who’s talking.”

“You’re saying I’m the tease?” you shrill. The embarrassment was getting to you now - it was overconsuming you - and if the leering smirk on Toji’s face was anything to go by, you were sure that it was visible. 

“If the shoe- or, well, panties fit.”

He was so cocky about his stupid lil’ joke. 

You stab a rude finger right between the valley of his pecs, copping a feel of the velvety smooth skin. “Sh-shut up, if you want to talk about a tease then let’s talk about who showed up to fix a dryer shirtless.”

“Part of the outfit.” he shrugs. Tilting his head up at you, and shit, it finally hits you how precariously close you two are right now. Toji’s splayed out on your cool kitchen tile, while you’re straddling his slender waist with jittery legs, pressed up against the heated proximity of his unfairly shirtless body. Chest-to-chest. “Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy the view, little miss had-a-fun-time-yesterday.”

You blink, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

But in true Toji fashion, the closest to an answer you get is a large hand attaching roughly onto your waist. Jostling your body close enough for him to breathe out in a feverish chuckle - hot, and purposeful against your ear. “The walls are thin. Just sayin’.”

Oh.

Oh, shit. 

You knew exactly what he was talking about - and so did he. 

“...I heard you, too, y’know.”

Ah, you can now live your life happily knowing that you managed to make the ever-confident Toji gasp. You managed to make him part his lips in a slight gape, green eyes glinting with a hint of something dangerous as they widen. His sensory digits pinch at your hips. 

“You mean-”

“Yes.”

Uncharacteristically, Toji takes a few gulping seconds to find his voice. And when he does - the very sound is enough to send shivers down your spine and make you wonder for a split-second whether this was really him. Hoarse, pained when he muses, “You heard me and still continued?”

Instantly, you’re trying to form excuses. “No! I mean- yes. It’s just that…”

“Heh, cute. You continued because of me- didn’t ya?”

Your jaw drops in shock, now a slightly defensive tone bleeding in with the embarrassment of your actions. “I-I mean I was doing- it- just fine before I heard you.”

Toji cocks his head, and only says one thing - “Prove it.”

.

.

.

“T-Toji this is embarrassing-”

But oh, all that Toji was wondering was whether he’d knocked his head on that goddamn dryer and gone to heaven already. 

Because splayed out for all his pleasure on the cushiony bed was you - quivering legs straddled wide open, your back arched in such a delicious curve that makes his mouth water. Your silken sheets were disheveled and sloppy enough that you’d have to pray the dryer works now. Glistening cunt winking down at him eagerly, just begging him in cute, slurring squelches after every buzzing push of your vibrator.

And Toji? Seated right underneath your cute cunt - hovering mere inches away from sitting on his cocky smirk. 

All he’d been imagining. As gorgeous as how he’d imagined you yesterday- no, even more so.

Toji’s leering up at you, muscular thighs manspreading even more to show off his furiously hard erection. “Shhh sh sh-” Toji hums, eyes unwavering from right between your legs. “She’s the one talkin’ to me right now, doll.”

And surely enough, it’s almost like he’s having a conversation with your pussy. Nodding and drunkenly humming along to every slurp that resounds across the heady room. “Tha’s right, make her- make her even wetter for me.”

He’s letting loose his long pinkish tongue to catch the drops of your sweet, sweet juices that slide down his throat. 

His breath is so steaming hot against your cunt. Feverish. You huff out a dragged-out whine, kissing up your plump clit with the very edge of your rose toy. Just barely teasing the sensitive hood, “B-but I need you so-”

“Now now, what did I say?” he tuts away your stubborn moans easily. And you’re gazing over your shoulder upon the utterly unapologetic grin that falls across Toji’s face when he tugs down his own pants to flash you with the fat, rotund curve of his ruddied tip. Curling his fingers over the very top, “You don’t need me, remember- Let that pretty pussy talk with me or all you’re gonna do is watch.”

Except now you didn’t think you could talk even if you wanted to.

Your eyes are glazing over with a fresh wall of need when they fall greedily upon the peaking sight of Toji’s fat cock. So massive that it makes your jaw slip open, your cunt gushing out in a few gushes of slick. 

“Oh shit- shit-” his eyes widen at the sight, so thoroughly honed in. Almost as if he doesn’t even realize he’s speaking to you. Doesn’t even know. And a few ringing squelches is all it takes for him to throw his head back with a groan. “That got ya wet, ma, didn’t it? Made your cute ngh- c-cunt happy?”

“Yes-” you’re gasping, winking away the overstimulated tears in your eyes. “B-but I want you-”

“Tell me exactly  what you want, doll.”

So bossy, you want to snap back. 

But right now you’re too hypnotized by the slutty sight of him to say a word. The way he seemed so ruined. That you can’t help but whimper, “I want you to hah- make me cum.”

And it’s just a split-second later when his brawny arms come wrapping around your jittery waist, hauling you over like some glorified rag doll to seat your fatigued legs down. Your dripping cunt meeting his mouth in a sultry, sultry French kiss. 

He doesn’t waste a second longer - almost as if beating himself up for all the time wasted - before dragging his tongue to open your presoaked folds. Swirling so hotly to smear them out across his lips, Toji dredges his raised scar across your most tender spots and moans. 

Sweet.

So sweet.

“This- this fuckin’ delicious?” He sounded like he was losing his mind, swatting aside your hand. “Move that fuckin’ hand. Y-you were- you were holding out on this? Could eat this cute cunt all the time- could marry ya-”

Proposing and proposing and kissing-

He latches down his glistening canines around your clit and pinches, almost as if a little punishment. And you could practically see the delight lighting up his dark eyes when your cunt slowly grows even more drenched. Little masochist, he’s thinking. 

You yelp when without any sort of warning his cheeks hollow out in a sudden suck at your sensitive nub, swirling his tongue over it. “H-how’s that feel?” he giggles - giggles. “Better than your imagination or what?”

It already was. 

But you couldn’t let his ego expand anymore than it already has, so the only thing you’re managing to do is trap a few sweat-dampened locks of his hair and drag your slobbering cunt down Toji’s mean mouth. Partly because you needed it, partly because you needed him to shut up. 

Choking out, “D-don’t get so full of yourself, Toji–”

“Full of myself?” he’s chuckling - face smeared with a translucent mask of glistening slick that told you exactly why he should be full of himself. It glosses over his curled lips and drips down Toji’s sharp jawline. “Full of myself? Gimme that-”

Instantly, your till buzzing vibrator is being snatched meanly out of your hands. “S’this what ya want, instead, ma?”

Toji didn’t expect an answer.

And you can’t give him one.

Because that furiously jittery probe is being bullied right between your puffy pussy lips, licking a languid line down the edge of your sloppy hole. Before he’s bullying the long end inside your eager entrance-

“Does it feel good?” he’s taunting. Sinking down onto your clit and pulling. “Oh yeah- feels great. Doesn’t it?”

But it’s such a mouthful that sputtered out into your clit. The vibrations of white-hot pleasure making your spine bow like such a slut into Toji’s ravenous mouth. And your jaw slack open in the most strained of whines, “Y-yeah feels so-mmpf-”

Immediately, your mouth is being firmly shut closed with one of Toji’s mountainous palms, and he snickers. Giving you pretty lil’ cunt a pat that has splatters of slick speckling all the way to his lips - ones that he gladly licks up. And then some at the remnant excess all over your thighs. “I was talking to her.”

“Y-you’re so mean.”

At this, he pulls back and blows a heated gust of air against your puckered hole. “And you’re fucking drenched.” That spearing bullet is lodged firmly against a few tenderized sweet spots that make you keen. “And she’s saying…s’not enough.”

You were sure he was talking for himself. 

Or…was he? 

Honestly, you don’t even know - you didn’t even realize what you were missing until the fat girths of Toji’s digits shove their filthy way into your narrow opening. Already so stuffed, yet, he’s scissoring aside the vibrator into the gooey depths of your walls. 

Either you could take him or he’ll make space. 

Whistling out in awe, “Dontcha think this feels muuuch better?” As if to whittle out another one of your syrupy sweet noises, you’re being gifted with another sopping wet thwack! against the ready nub of your clit. Before Toji wraps his scarred lips around it and sucks. “Look- she’s even fuckin’ wetter.”

You didn’t even have to see to be able to know - because you could hear. 

Toji was steadily pummeling your cunt with the most staggering smashes of the rounded curves of his fingertips into your sweetest spots. Jostling the vibrator inside, knuckles smashing it with friction to rub up against your constricting walls. 

Honestly, it was just so much. You felt stuffed. 

“F-feels like m’gonna explode.” you mewl at the heady thump! thump! thump! shuddering all across your body - and you didn’t know whether it was because of the thundering pulse in your ears, because of the way Toji’s fingers were crashing and thrusting against your tender g-spot. His neatly cut fingernails glide soaking wet grazes over and over in a sloppy staccato. “Ah! Right there, it f-feels so good-”

“Tch, you think I don’t know?” Toji’s rolling his eyes, muttering his words into your sopping slit. His free hand comes slamming down in a harsh smack! against your ass to make you lug against his face faster. “Ride yourself on me, ma.”

You stumble through it - yearning for more. 

“Faster.”

“I-I’m trying.’”

But it wasn’t enough. Obviously. 

And Toji’s impatiently revolving one hand around the curve of your waist to make you press down hard in the most sultry gyrations. Around and around it had him hypnotized. “Not tryin’ hard ‘nough. Cuz this pretty lady h-here’s just crying to cum, doll. Ya hear her?”

How could you not?

It’s all that you replay in your mind. Accompanied with a shot ngh ngh ngh that was curdling at the very back of Toji’s throat. Whispered into every graze of his tongue down your slit, you took a quick glance backwards to catch the way that he was properly fucking his fist now. 

Long, thorough drags down his achy cock to bead out wet sloshes of precum. Only getting faster. Sloppier. Red and angry-

“Shit.” you’re whimpering, hands steadying on either side of his bulging deltoids. It felt like your very bones were rattling along with the vibrator. Nails digging in to the muscle, “I th-think m’close- think m’gonna-”

And oh Toji’s eyes stray to the back of his head at how reminiscent this was of just yesterday. Snickering a heavy, “You ‘think’? I know she’s so fuckin’ close. Can feel her. Isn’t she? Gonna cum? Gonna make a ngh- mess on me, is she?”

Answeringly, he’s leaving another few smacks! on your mound that have your gooey walls fluttering, the double penetration of both the buzzing bullet and his fingers too much. Too close. You feel every delicate bundle of your nerves exasperate. 

And it’s impossible not to mumble out drunkenly - embarrassingly. “Sh-she is.”

It’s so rough.

Both your release and the way that Toji was fucking you through it - because the very moment he hears your breath hitch in a saturated manner similar to last time, he’s tugging out your buzzing vibrator and toppling it somewhere over the bed. Replacing it with every long inch of his heated tongue- 

Like hell he’d have you cumming on some damn plastic before his tongue.

“Shit- it feels so-” Barely managing to formulate the words into coherent syllables. Your body convulses when he swiftly pecks your pretty clit with the rose toy instead. “-so good- ngh! M’cumming m’cumming ah-”

Toji’s fucking you through your high with the double stimulation of his fingers and his tongues spreading open your snug insides mercilessly. Ruthlessly. Wave upon wave of pleasure that had your toes curling, vision flashing white. Sensitive pussy dredging up from the very bottom of his sharp chin all the way up to his button nose. 

It’s adorable how tired you were already, already huffing and puffing for breath. He could almost laugh if he didn’t have a mouthful already.

“Yeah tha’s right-” he slurps, more than talks. Thick digits curling tight and thumbing over his twitchy divot to wall up that velvety wisp of cum from escape. Leaving kiss after kiss to have your drooling cunt ride his sexy features faster. “-give it t’me.” Greedy. “Give it alllll to me.”

But even that didn’t seem like enough.

Because even after your aggressive orgasm was petering out into mere tingles at your quivering pussy, even after he’d slurped up every tiny drop of your honeyed juices - Toji Fushiguro was starved. 

So completely ravenous when he speaks, “I think…she’s sayin she wants ta squirt, doll.”

“Wh-what?” you’re breathing - you didn’t even know if that was possible.

With a surprising amount of gentleness, Toji’s placing you to sit all prettily on his spread legs. Just slobbering your pussy lips in an innocent smooch over his hardness. 

“Heh, what? Don’t trust me?” Toji cocks his head down at you in sheer smugness, a glistening gloss stained all around his lips. It made him look so fucked-out. And he felt like he already was - but Toji wouldn’t admit that. No, he’s only murmuring a wet, “Or are ya scared that m’gonna get ya ah- addicted?”

You showcase him with a slight pout that makes his riled-up cock twitch in one hand. That makes him immediately kiss it away - letting you taste him. Taste yourself. 

It’d already taken everything in him to stop himself from cumming just by making out with your cunt. 

“No s’just that- I’ve never squirted before…”

His words are sure. Confident. He’s echoing them from not too long ago, “Lemme take a look at that.”

And apparently Toji’s definition of taking a look is to slide the curve of his thick thumb in-between your dribbling slit. Up and down until his lips curl in a smile, “Well she’s tellin’ me that she can-oh shit, look at that.” Those very same fingers wrapping around the hilt of his thick cock to nudge your folds apart. “So why don’t I fix that, hm?”

God, Toji is so much bigger than he looked - which was staggering considering his sheer bulge was enough to send your mind reeling.

The curve of his fat tip bathes in a few more of your syrupy drops before bullying inside-

“O-oh my god-” Your voice wavers, sweat simmering all down your body at how dizzyingly Toji was spearheading your cunt open. Wide. So much of him that you didn’t know whether to buck your hips away or down for more, more, more- “S’too big- shit, don’t even know if I can ngh- t-take it, Toji–!”

“Oh, say my name like that once more n’ you’re gonna ah- hafta take every inch.” he grunts out, snarling smile making your gummy walls flutter around him. 

You’re being fed every solid inch, Toji’s girth making your tight circumference stutter. Gaping your sloppy hole wide open around his expanding cock- shit, just the slightest peak into your heavenly depths was enough to have his fat length swelling. Pushing into your tender sweet spots when he grows. 

“Y-you got even bigger?” you gasp, and it makes him cackle.

Throwing his head back to laugh, “Of course I got f-fuckin’ bigger when you feel like this, ma.” And two of his roughened palms glide their greedy pathway downwards to spread your thighs even further. Using gravity to his lewd advantage to help you gulp down your every mindless grind to simply fit himself inside. “W-where have ya been all my life.”

And Toji sounded like he was genuinely distraught that he didn’t know. 

He was genuinely so upset, lower lip wobbling with pure bliss once your overstuffed pussy was resting on his sharp hip bones. Giving an experimental little gyration of his hips to swirl his shaft around your walls, it makes you whine. 

“Tha’s what m’fuckin’ talking about.”

And then in a split-second, you’re being slammed onto your back and wrangled into the meanest mating press you never thought possible. 

It’s like Toji was out of control. 

Feral.

A slight trickle of drool trailing down the edge of his growling lips, “Shit- take my fucking cock ngh- take it all, doll. Ya don’t know how long I’ve been d-dreaming of this.”

“Yes yes yes-” you sputter. Edging your uselessly limp thighs to lock around Toji’s straining neck - and if he was going easy on you before. Then oh, you weren’t ready for the way this makes him snap his flexing body down to fold you in half. His sweat-beaded forehead knocking gently into yours, “-been ah- been dreamin’ of this ever since I m-moved in-”

Shit.

The thick pudge of Toji’s relentless head careens into the bullseye of your g-spot easily. And Toji titters to himself about the pretty moans that drag from your shot throat - that is, if he had the self-control.

Because your previous words were still thundering in his pussydrunken mind, and it makes him gasp. It makes him shoot his eyes open almost comically, it makes him crash his lips into your with a sullen hiss. “Give a man a fuck- warning. You c-can’t just say- things- like- that-”

As if to prove his point, he’s planting a few more heated French kisses against your sweetest spots. How he mapped them out so quickly you had no idea. 

His feverish breath hovers over your own mouth, gusts bounding out with every pound into your cunt. He’s bruising the circular branding of his sobbing tip down your spongy cervix, a tiny ah! of disappointment leaving Toji’s stern lips at the recoil that had him pushing back from the very bottom of your pussy. 

He’s so filthy. 

“Because what if–” It takes you a few seconds to realize that he’s still babbling drunkenly, flicking over a calloused thumb over your clit to get your delirious attention. “-are ya listening, woman? What- ah- what if I told ya I was the fuckin’ same. Wanted to f-fuck this cute cunt the moment I saw ya, wanted to ruin her- to breed her-”

And just when he’s heaving in such a sharp inhale. As if he’s spoken too much.

Yet, even through the way that Toji was fucking you stupid - you still manage to latch onto his words. 

“Y-you wanted to ah- cum inside?” you’re blinking up at him innocently in a way that only made his hips jackhammer against yours harder. Teasing your sensitive clit with a pinch. “Tell me, Toji.”

God- you said his name. 

Shit shit shit, didn’t he tell you not to-

“Yes!” Toji’s shuddering out, hefty balls twitching and thwacking their tight, cum-filled sacks against your ass. He’s fucking you so wildly. The mating press that he had you in let him glide a wet thrust down every single nook and cranny inside you. Every forbidden sweet spot. “Wanted- wanted it so badly- ah-”

Batting your teary lashes, “How badly?”

Two of Toji’s mean fingers come up to smush your cheeks together into an embarrassing pout, and he’s using that cutely ajar opening of your mouth to spit. A thick, honeyed wad of saliva that purposefully splatters along the edge of your lips - because Toji had perfect aim. He could’ve streamlined it all neatly between your lips.

But you looked and tasted so sweet this way.

When he could just kiss it away filthily with a drag of his tongue, “Shit- what a filthy fuckin’ mouth. Ya really know how to m-make me lose my mind, hm?” Splaying out one large palm about halfway down your stomach, he’s exploring for a lewd cylindrical nudge. A throb when his thickened head was smashing into your g-spot. “If ya i-insist- m’gonna fill ya up until I can feel it-” Pressing down. Hard. “Here.” And now he’s running his mouth a mile a minute, he’s dazed where his cadence grows sloppy. “Until you’re overspilling. Until yer all r-round and hngh- glowing and shit-”

God, he was flying too close to the sun.

Egging him on, he was fucking you into the bed like he was furious at you. Lurching out rickety creaks from the bedframe at his riotous slams! Teasing, “S-s’that it?”

“Is that it? I-is that it?” he’s repeating. Over and over like a humorless mantra. “No tha’s not- ah- fucking ‘it’. M’gonna shit- make you mine. Gonna fuck a b-baby or two into ya.” Shockwaves of electric white flashing down his spine when your gripping walls cling around him like a velvety channel. Stumbling through words, “So they’re gonna know- ah- th-they’re all gonna know what I did. Hah- how I ruined ya…”

You can only sob, “Toji– m’gonna-”

Stimulating tears gather up beside Toji’s eyelids with every pressurized ram, and he finds it in himself to rasp a drunken giggle. “G-gonna give Megumi a lil’ sibling, ma?”

He doesn’t have to hear your response, he doesn’t think he can. Because no sooner are you crashing into your orgasm that Toji is as well. 

He realizes before you - far, far before you at how you were squirting. 

Drizzling your juices in a coating gloss down his cock, his abs, some spattering up to Toji’s lips. He took a look into it alright. 

Your bolting waves of bliss intruded by his rummaging cock. Twitching once. Twice. Before struggling out thick gushes of sweltering hot seed. 

It’s splattering onto the very back of your bruised and battered cervix in a wet thwack! Oozing out the sides of your silt, you feel your gummy walls being inflated. The tug of ribbons upon ribbons of cum being fucked into sloshes inside and coats your melty walls like a second, sticky skin.

THUD!

Toji collapses onto his wearied forearms, caging you in with his big beefy biceps. Hips slowing down to tiny, subconscious ruts wrenching out the most obscene wet squelches. “Th-the heh- the fuckin’ bed.”

Only then are you batting your fatigued eyes open to realize that one side of the bed was sagging dangerously. “Toji did you b-break the bed?”

“Ah- so what?” And he’s scooping up your pliant body easily into his arms. Lifting you. Manhandling you. Pulling out of your split cunt for just a second to slam! you down onto your nearby work desk. The cool mahogany against your front makes you hiss, “I’ll jus’ t-take a ah- look at it.”

With this, he’s pressing down on the slightly bloated area near your cunt. Gaping. Gushing out thick remnants of his cum - it’s like he was playing around. 

The sight so heavenly that with a dragged-out gasp he’s finding his weepy cock blast out a few more wispy strands of cum. Shit.

“Shit- marry me-” Toji’s throwing his head back with a whimper - a whimper - when his jolting cock veers dangerously into the territory of shooting overstimulated blanks. “Marry me I-I swear. Gonna ah- put a pretty ring on ya, my doll.”

Which is why he’s swirling around his greedy pointer around your gaping entrance. Toying with the creamy ring of seed that’d painted its way around his thick base. Toji pools a few creamy dredges on his fingers and shoves them into your babbling mouth. “Ngh- Toji–!”

“Nowww, let’s see ngh- already finished off th-the bed-” he’s rattling off. Counting on a few fingers of his, “-we have the ohhh fuck- don’t squeeze m-me like that, ma, m’still sensitive- this desk, the floor- the dryer.”

“The dryer?” you mewl. “But you j-jus’ fixed that-”

“Ah, consider it a lil’ payment…along with those panties of yours, of course.”

And it’s only later. 

Hours and hours later, with your bed frame broken on one leg, your desk absolutely shattered, and your carpet soiled with a few whiteish rivulets that you’re finding yourself seated into a tight full nelson on top of the dryer. Toji still splitting you apart inside, shooting blanks before the front door rattles with a sudden knock! knock! knock! 

A deep voice resounding from outside, “Anybody home? It’s Shiu Kong. Higuruma sent me here to fix the dryer.”

“Fuckin’ Shiu…wanna let him in?”

---

“Hello, Shiu? How did the fixing go?” It’s by the next day that Higuruma gets a call in the middle of his important business meeting. One that would probably stay with him for a long, long time. “What do you mean the dryer is broken beyond repair?!”

A/N. Hope you all have a lovely week <3

Plagiarism not authorized.