#But I go with no parent should bury their child it's just so sad

[bbanghiitomi]

THE SAME PLACE AND DIFFERENT TIME

pairing: kim minji x fem reader

trope: fish out of water! childhood friends! first love! little bit of angst! fluff!

waking up feels weird for y/n again, inside the body of a first year college student, her little young soul is stuck somewhere she doesn't want to be. peeking on the window of her colorless room, it's an ordinary sunday, clear skies with no clouds and her view is blocked by buildings. it's so boring sitting here inside her room, a bed with no presence of a certain person she longs for. there's almost no time for her, the world is too fast and there's always something to look forward for.

but lately, her days have become more boring, it feels like she's starting to lose the meaning of a secret world she used to have as a child. consumed by sadness and boredom, y/n doesn't really know what to do, she's stuck inside her dorm maybe for a few more years?

"no, i shouldn't sulk like this..." y/n mentally sighs as she stands up from her bed and walks towards her study table. she hasn't changed one bit, at least that's what she thinks, she's the same old kid who hates sitting around looking sad, someone who persists through every conflict and is spontaneous.

if minji were to see her again, would she think the same?

y/n have always wondered about that, when she thinks of minji, she starts to miss the tall girl again, like always since she left to study far from her home. y/n at first liked to believe it hasn't been that long, until maybe a few more years passed because she hopes when she comes back, minji would remember her again.

but in reality, it's been more than 2 years, 5 years to be exact... in that amount of time, how many memories did minji make without y/n? how many people did she meet?

how long did she ever think about y/n? when every hour felt like another day without warmth for y/n.

does she care for y/n anymore? the thought is extremely scary, thinking about being forgotten is scary...

y/n sits on her chair, grabbing her laptop as she opens it and looks at an email from her school, after her test, the school announces a break for the students and it's 4 weeks.

enough time to go back to gangwon province and maybe see minji again.

"no!" y/n shakes her head as she buries her face on her palms, the warmth of embarrassment spreads around her face. will she even remember me? y/n thinks to herself as she sighs, stretching her arms to her table and leaning over to it, her fingers touching the small and fuzzy bear figurine that minji have gifted her before, there's a smaller version of it, the baby bear.

back then, there really wasn't a lot to worry about, just when y/n's piano practice starts or when minji needs to go back home. back then, these feelings she had for minji were all just something to laugh about and forget tomorrow, but it turned into something bigger the longer she looks for minji.

times used to be more simple and minji used to be enough for her to reach, maybe she have wished for too much and that dream she had since she was little came true, but now y/n feels lonely.

the girl also comes across her last messages to minji, before everything went radio silent.

"sorry!" as if she have caused minji some trouble again.

"it's okay. message me again when you're free." minji sent her.

"okay!" y/n's reply and she hasn't gotten any free time ever since.

should she really come back? is the biggest question she wants to know right now, before she spends her break rotting on her bed all day long.

luckily, y/n's parents came to the rescue, they've been planning on building a small house in a small town in the province and they wanted to hear her thoughts. that means y/n can have an actual reason to go back...

on her way home in the car, y/n sits behind and listens as her parents converse. "what have our daughter been doing? we missed you so much." y/n's mother pipes in, the girl gives her mother a smile before leaning towards her mother's seat. "a lot actually, i didn't know there's a lot to do in college."

her father's laughs, shaking her head. "you'll get used to it kid, we've been living in the city for 5 years... things will get more rocky in the future." he says, y/n nods and smiles at her father. "i understand." she mutters.

her mother smiles endearingly at the interaction before looking behind her daughter who immediately meets her gaze, "don't you want to see minji?" she asks, y/n raises her brows and purses her lips before leaning back to the backseat and shrugging.

"i actually don't know if i want to..." she admits, sighing before laughing and shaking her head. "it's just that, it's been 5 years." she adds, y/n's father takes a peek at his daughter and looks at his wife before back at the road.

"didn't we talk to her family last week?" he asks, y/n's mother perks up and nods, looking at their daughter, who then gives them both a confused look.

"oh right! we missed the town so much, we decided to build a home again in the same neighborhood." y/n looks at her parents and squints her eyes at them before speaking. "okay? and what did you guys talk about?" the parents look at each other before laughing.

"a lot, about the house, the town, the city, university and you! minji said she misses you." y/n's father say and y/n cannot help the way her eyes widens. "o-oh... really?" she mutters.

her mother nods with a bright smile. "she said, you seem very busy and she was wondering why you weren't with us." y/n fixes her hair and the way she sits, before raising her index finger. "so, what do you guys plan to do there?" she asks.

her father looks straight to the road, occasionally peeking at his daughter from time to time. "well, minji's family owns a small inn, right? we can stay there for a while, talk about what we want our house to look like." he shrugs, y/n nods and gives her parents a small smile.

"i won't mind that. i wish it would look like our old house though." the girl receives nods from her parents and it didn't take them any longer until they finally arrived their old town.

standing in the middle of the street, y/n looks rather... lost? or maybe she is, the day is about to end and y/n starts to hear crickets all over the place. it's as if she's never been in this town, there's so many turns, left and right and it's making her head dizzy.

there weren't that much people too, it's like she's in a ghost town! it's not like this in the city, so bustling and loud, full of life.

and y/n starts to wonder whether she was really from this place, did she really grow up here? why does this place look so unfamiliar? just a few moments ago, y/n walked away from the inn before she could even see minji, wanting to gain enough courage to talk to the tall girl again.

and now here she is, lost in the town, not sure where to go. this moment made y/n realize she's changed, a lot... that maybe she really wasn't the same person she was before. the small y/n would never be lost like this...

still, y/n wants to find her way back home, even if she doesn't know where.

"do you still know this way?" y/n hears someone behind her and she immediately turns her body around to look at the familiar face of her childhood friend.

"m-minji..." she can only mutter, minji laughs and walks towards the girl. "why did you leave? when i went to welcome your family to the inn, you were nowhere." y/n shakes her head and puts a hand on her face and she sighs.

"i just wanted to walk around..." though, it was clearly a lie. minji nods and raises her hand as if to gesture y/n to follow. "let's go back to the inn." minji tells the girl, a very endearing and totally not charming smile on her face.

the girl nods and tucking in lost strands of her hair behind her ear before watching minji walk past her and the girl follows immediately.

minji doesn't look back but she's smiling, it's nerve-wracking, y/n doesn't know what to really say as if the words are stuck in her throat. no motivation to fight for her feelings.

"so, how's the city? i heard many great things come from there." minji starts, looking behind. the girl looks at minji and sees the smile on minji's face, her round eyes and very recognizable lips. y/n looks down with a blush on her cheeks and then back up at minji again as she laughs. "oh it's fine, i grew kind of tired of the noise and how boring the city could be." y/n answers, minji blinks twice before turning to the road again.

as they walk, they see kids frolic around the area, to the park and around some corners of the village. seeing that makes y/n reminisce about the past again, how fun and simple it was, what did change? she wonders.

"wasn't it your dream? you told me before." minji remembers that, but remembering it reminded you that you wanted that dream for your parents, because it's a big thing.

"my parents' actually, but then again, their dreams are mine." y/n sees minji nod, her back turned to y/n again as they walk and finally reach the inn. surprisingly, your parents weren't that upset, very understanding too. "thank god minji was there earlier, we knew she'd pick you up right away." y/n's father walks over to minji and pats her shoulder.

"so happy to see you again kid! i'm sure my daughter is too." minji smiles at y/n's father, nodding her head before looking at y/n, who cannot find a way to avoid the other girl. "that's great to know. have you brought your things up inside your inn already, sir?" she asks, and y/n's parents nod.

"we did! don't worry, by the way we should get going for now. we haven't gotten dinner." y/n's mother waves her hand towards minji and leaves with her husband, y/n stops walking in front of minji and looks at her parents before back at minji.

"thanks... i hope i didn't bother you." she smiles apologetically and fixes her hair, minji feels her heart beating as she looks at the girl. minji shrugs and shakes her palms that are starting to get wet. "nope, it's okay. you should get some rest now."

"okay, see you tomorrow." they stare at each other for a good 3 minutes before y/n looks away and starts walking unusually faster to their inn.

"you left the construction site?" minji asks the girl, who looks up from where she was sitting and stands up, fixing her skirt. minji's eyes went to look at y/n's skirt and immediately, like nothing happened up at y/n's eyes.

"uh huh." she says, nodding her head before laughing sheepishly. "i got bored and yeah, i want to do something else." y/n says, minji nods and puts her hands on the pocket of her pants.

"you haven't changed a bit." minji says, letting out a small chuckle. y/n look up back at her, raising an eyebrow at the tall girl. "what?" she whispers, minji walks behind a bit. "i mean, i don't think you changed at all. you're still the same girl from before." y/n feels her cheeks blaze as she nods, humming.

the playground is empty in the middle of the day, when kids are at school, just like it was before. it's almost as if it was the same place, and yes it was but... it also feels like the same time, y/n doesn't feel like she's grown any older.

yes, minji looked more mature, looked prettier, taller and her hair grew longer and more silky.

"really? i always thought i've changed a lot." y/n tells minji, she receives a smile from the other girl. "well, you looked prettier now. but other than that, you wear the same type of clothes." y/n blinks when minji says that she turned prettier... y/n blinks again and laughs sheepishly, looking down on her skirt.

"ah yeah, i feel more like myself in these." truth to be told, it's more on projection. thinking about how much she's changed mentally is tiring, it's like the life in city left her caged with nothing to do but the same thing. the only way she can relived her past self is by wearing the same clothes she used to wear.

minji looks at y/n's clothes and back the the girl's face. "it's nice. living in the city, i'm surprised you're still hesitant about your looks." minji chuckles and scratches the back of her head, y/n blinks her eyes twice and then away. "i just feel like sometimes i don't feel right in my own clothes."

"you look right, amazing even." minji shrugs before offering her hand to y/n. "it's been so long since i last saw you." minji adds, y/n stretches her arm and opens her hand to hold minji's, the texture of minji's palm never changes, despite all the work she does in their house it's still soft.

"i'm sorry if i couldn't even message you..." y/n says, recalling the times she couldn't make any time to reply or even hit minji up. minji shrugs and caress y/n's hand. "i understand, it's not easy being in college. i hope you're fine though..." y/n smiles at minji and puts another hand on their hands.

"i'm so glad to see you again, it feels so weird..." y/n purses her lips before sighing and speaking again. "it's like i'm going around chasing a bunny, then again i'm lost." minji nods, tilting her head to get a better look of your face.

"some people really don't understand the secret this world has." there's so much to do, so much to eat, so much to say, so many to love and care for. there's not enough time to do everything but the most. y/n looks up at minji as the tall girl speaks. "you told me before right? that happiness are those small things."

at the end of the day, y/n is just a crybaby.

in this bright world full of fantastic things, there's no time to feel bored.

"yeah... and we used to eat cookies, and almost i don't know what i was doing before." y/n laughs, minji looks away. there's a blooming, ticklish, funny feeling inside minji when she's here holding your hands, it's the same giddy feeling while playing stupid games before, the same feeling looking at your face but this feeling was never there for anyone else.

"you used to never think twice, no matter how crucial it is. you also used to get lost a lot too, then i'd look for you." minji says, y/n giggles and brings their hands closer to her chest. "thinking about those stuff, feels like looking at a picture book right?" y/n says, minji nods.

the skies are turning orange, and kids are running towards the playground. maybe the reason the little kid y/n was before didn't get lost because she had minji.

"you used to always get in trouble..." minji laughs and y/n shakes her head, whining. "i was just really annoying!"

it's such a ridiculous story, feels like no one will believe. seeing minji's face again, the patch of mud on the sidewalk and the kids frolicking around in their own world.

"i missed you a lot." minji speaks again, this time her voice sounded more delicate as if she meant every one of her word. it's been so long, days, weeks, months and years have passed but minji still remembers y/n.

the girl looks at minji as if she's about to cry, because those words mean a lot to her. y/n nods, letting go of minji's hand before she steps and wraps her arms around minji. "i missed you too!" y/n sobs, causing minji to laugh.

"come on, are you really just gonna weep like that?" minji teases, y/n buries her head on minji's shoulder, wiping her tears on the taller girl's shirt. "seriously..." y/n whispers.

minji pats y/n's back, an arm around the girl's waist. "ah, it's getting darker." minji mutters, y/n ignores her and sobs again. "i really think of you a lot, when i look at my last message to you... i wish i can do something about it." y/n whispers, her voice cracking every syllable.

"you know i'm not going anywhere, right?" minji whispers back, putting her hand on top of y/n's head. y/n nods, it's not about that. the girl hates the idea of being away from minji again, she's hated that idea but seeing minji again, like this... makes her hate it even more.

minji isn't leaving but minji is also not going to be there always, it's not about whether she's going to leave or not... after all those years, her little silly feelings for minji, turned into something bigger and more serious, when she yearns for minji's warmth that space inside her heart turns more shallow.

maybe, y/n is scared minji might find someone else...

"don't look for anyone else other than me..." y/n whispers, minji widens her eyes as she hears what was said. minji turns her head to take a peek of y/n's face, but all the girl did was bury her face deeper on minji's neck.

"what do you mean?" this is it. this must be really it.

y/n may feel guilty for sounding selfish admitting that she hates the idea that minji will find someone who'll love her too.

"i... i want to be honest, ever since i left i started to miss you more everyday, it feels like it was never gonna end." y/n takes a sharp breath. feeling the way her heart squeezes as if pouring out all the feelings she's harbored for minji on those years they were away from each other.

it feels like she's inside a woods, lost inside the forest with nowhere to go except the only path she can see.

"it was so long... everything feels like it's the same everyday. people around me moved on, went past and never looked back. i couldn't because i feel it too deeply, and i love too much..." y/n pulls away from minji, letting go of the tall girl... that also forced minji to let her hands off of y/n.

"i didn't want to be left alone, i didn't want to think of you with someone else!" y/n sees the way minji looks at her, the tall girl looks at the playground, the kids are all going home.

y/n puts her hand on her face, wiping her stupid tears away.

"i never looked for anyone else but you... i see you on and off on your account, it gives me hope that you're still there. we're stuck on the same memory, i think of you too a lot." minji shrugs as she speaks and reaches for y/n's hand, minji hears y/n trying to suppress her tears.

"y/n? are you serious?" minji chuckles and holds y/n's hand tighter. the girl looked confused, she tucks in strands of stray hair behind her ear. minji sighs. "i take my time to let you know i'm just here for you to lean on to, stupid messages, so short but it's alright because i know you're okay." minji continues, her other hand reaches for y/n's shoulder.

y/n was silent, she looks like she's hesitating but in reality, there's nothing but minji inside her head.

"it's because i like you!" y/n opens her mouth and stares at minji, surprised about what she had said. minji leans her head closer, seeing y/n blink her eyes and lifting her hands to cover her face.

minji hears y/n whine and she holds the girl's shoulders. "hey..."

"i don't why? we only talk through messages and they're not even that long! i've tried to hard to get rid of these feelings but it's not working! you're really the only one i want..." y/n grumbles, her voice is muffled but still audible that it makes minji smile to see how intense the girl's feelings are for her.

"i understand." minji states as she moves her hand to hold y/n's nape, pulling her closer and making the girl take her hands off of her face until their foreheads touch. minji holds y/n's waist with her other hand. "don't ever change, okay? you and your feelings, don't change." minji whispers.

y/n hears the crickets and then maybe her own heartbeat, distracted by the way minji looks at her eyes... it could be the street lamps but minji's eyes looks like she has the whole milky way galaxy in them.

minji laughs as she feels how warm y/n has gotten.

out of nowhere, the tall girl leans to kiss y/n on the lips, not that long but enough for y/n to feel it linger all over her.

the wind blows, but suddenly it's not so cold here anymore.

minji doesn't give y/n any time to react and immediately pulls her in a hug. "dummy. i love you too, okay? you're not alone." minji mutters.

y/n lowers her head, leaning on minji's shoulder and she finds herself diving in deeper in their hug. "gosh, this feels like it's not real..." y/n mutters, minji laughs again and places a kiss on y/n's cheek.

"but it is real, wanna go back to the inn?" minji asks, gently lifting y/n from the ground, causing the girl to shriek and laugh.

and it's fun like that, exploring new feelings and diving in it without thinking much. it's fun basking on its wonderful effects, how amazing love can be or just how unpredictable circumstances are sometimes.

it's another day, y/n feels like she dreams a lot now. she doesn't want to forget her dreams.

when the girl sits up, she opens her eyes and sees how blurry her vision was. the girl rubs her eyes for a few seconds, before opening them again.

she was greeted by the pink walls of her room, exactly the same copy of her childhood room but without the stains of time.

was she dreaming? y/n peeks on her window, a very sunny day with bright skies and clouds all over the blue horizon.

just an ordinary day.

y/n looks on the floor of her room, her shoes with a patch of mud on it.

thankfully, she wasn't dreaming at all.

the door of her room opens, from the shoes, y/n looks up to see minji smiling at her. "hey, it's 11am already." the girl says, y/n smiles and jumps off of her bed, running towards minji and embracing the tall girl in a hug.

"ah! thank you!" y/n rubs her cheek on minji's shoulder, humming. the tall girl looks at her girlfriend, confused. "what happened?" she asks.

y/n shakes her head and laughs. thinking that what if everything was a dream? y/n was scared that once she opens her eyes, minji will be out of reach again. but she's wrong, minji is here.

"nothing, i'm so happy you're here again! and that you wake me up before it gets late." y/n says, minji nods and pats y/n's head, sighing. "ah yeah, come on we have somewhere to go." minji pulls y/n out of her room, their laughter is heard across the corridor as they walk to the dining room.

y/n might have been lost on her way home, maybe it took her too long to find her way back... but she's back! that's all that matters, minji is with her to guide her wherever she goes, just like when they were younger.

[dr5amatic]

MONSTER YOU CREATED ,

a sentence starter prompts list comprised of quotes from arcane season 1. please be advised that this list may involve topics including, but not limited to violence. change verbiage as needed.

we're not gonna get caught. we'll be in and out before anyone notices.

thought last time was the last time we were gonna do this.

you could fill a damn library with all the things you didn't do.

a bit of advice. don't threaten the guy who pours the drinks.

when people look up to you, you don't get to be selfish.

you're gonna have to lay low for a bit, understand?

those who did this will be dealt with.

i ruined everything. i always do.

you have to believe me. i didn't do this.

i do love a good conundrum.

no great science should ever put lives in danger.

i believe i've discovered something truly incredible.

we look out for each other. it's the way it's always been.

all i see is a child meddling with things they don't understand.

i was trying to create magic.

arcane talents are something you're born with. they can't be fabricated.

you don't understand what's at stake, but how can you? that's a burden that only i carry.

if dangerous ideas didn't excite the imagination, we would never wander astray.

there's a monster inside all of us.

you're just a small man in a little hole the world forgot to bury.

i know you wanna hurt the topsiders for what they've done to us, but who are you willing to lose?

i saw it with my own eyes what magic can do, the lives it could save. you've no idea how beautiful it is.

when you're going to change the world, don't ask for permission.

what makes you different makes you strong.

you'll oblige a doomed man one last smoke, won't you?

you never did know when to walk away.

what have you done? this wasn't the deal!

you'll get people killed. for what? pride?

oh, i hated you for what you'd done, but as time passed, so did my hate. and i was left with an understanding.

the only way to defeat a superior enemy is to stop at nothing to become what they fear.

you'll die for the cause, but you won't fight for one?

willing to risk exile for your endeavor. that's quite the conviction.

wait a minute, this isn't my bedroom.

another late night. the work just doesn't end.

you were supposed to guard the cargo.

it was your job to make sure things went smoothly. you failed. don't disappoint me again.

do you have any idea what you've done?

how do you intend to prove any of this?

did my parents pay you to let me win?

i don't need favors. i need you to do your job.

you've just made yourself everyone's common enemy.

that place looks like it has bodies buried in the basement.

you're a symbol of the future now, whether you like it or not.

how can i say no to such an auspicious offer.

if you really want people to talk to you, you have to let them think you have what they want.

what is truth, but a survivor's story?

if i'm discovered, we're both finished.

are you headed home soon? i thought we could walk together.

betrayal, that pain that feels like it'll eat you from the inside out, can either break you or forge you into something greater.

loneliness is often the byproduct of a gifted mind.

do you contemplate death?

it's a sad truth that those who shine brightest often burn fastest.

i hate feeling so useless.

i know you have your reservations about me, but this only works if we can trust each other.

i just... want to feel what it was like... to be somebody. to make other people afraid.

how many problems can one girl cause?

you can fire that thing if you want, but i'm not going anywhere.

i'm not going to abandon you again.

i knew it was a mistake trusting you.

you look good for a dead girl.

that was a long time ago. people change.

nature has made us intolerant to change, but fortunately, we have the capacity to change our nature.

i know the look of a doomed man.

love and legacy are the sacrifices we make for progress.

i should have been there. for you. for everyone.

we came from a world where there was never enough to go around. that's why we fight. do you remember?

who found you? who cared for you? gave you a home?

i am your family. everyone else betrays us.

i'm only asking you to prepare to defend your people.

i'm worried i have to do something i never thought i would.

if you want to last in this world, you must learn to be both the fox and the wolf.

you'd give me a throne?

i'll give you the world if you prove you can take it.

sometimes, death is a mercy.

every time i think you can't get dumber, you dig a new low.

ego is one thing, brain is another.

weapons can't be unmade and they are always used.

that looks like more than a sprain. you need medical attention.

you have the passion of youth.

oil and water. wasn't meant to be.

we got a deal, pretty boy?

you've always been a part of this. you just never had to look it in the eye.

you really are fond of him.

i wanted to protect the city from people like you.

i can't believe you'd start a war just to cover your ass.

i would set the world ablaze to protect our family.

we lost ourselves. lost our dream. in the pursuit of great, we failed to do good. we have to make it right.

i'm trying to save you from annihilation.

i can't make a deal with a snake and cut off its head. we both have our shitty parts to play.

you'd be surprised what you can pull off when your life depends on it.

it's not enough to give people what they need to survive. you have to give them what they need to live.

is there anything so undoing as a daughter?

nothing ever stays dead.

the only thing that kept me going was the thought of getting back to you.

you're my daughter. i'll never forsake you.

remember who you are! i know you remember!

don't cry. you're perfect.

i thought maybe you could love me like you used to. even though i'm... different. but you changed too.

[barrenclan]

HI i just finished reading the comic and it's so so incredible!!!! your art is gorgeous and your work with the story is completely unmatched <3

I've been listening to the song Butcher Vanity by Vane Lily a lot and it strikes me as a Deepdark song!

Thank you! I'm so glad you like the comic. I agree, Deepdark's desire to kill and eat and never stop consuming is what defines him. I'll use the chance to share a PMV by my pal Katti, the creator of The Exiled comic who made a really excellent PMV with the song :)

I think someone else had the same idea as well, it looks like it's already been suggested before :) but yes it does fit very well! Any song about a land/town/etc that's been cursed and rotten forever works great.

Tell me now of the very soul that look alike, look alike Do you know the stranglehold covering their eyes? If I call on every soul in the land, on the moon Tell me if I'll ever know a blessing in disguise

The curse ruled from the underground, down by the shore And their hope grew with a hunger to live unlike before

I never knew this song was from the Justice League movie?? Wow, that's wild. It is a good song for PATFW as a whole.

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed Everybody knows the war is over Everybody knows the good guys lost Everybody knows the fight was fixed The poor stay poor, the rich get rich That's how it goes Everybody knows

I have! In fact, the song "Hellfire" is the character theme song for Cootstorm. I made a drawing of it awhile ago.

Did you know that in fact someone made an animated video with Rainhaze to this very song? It's really cool, you should check it out!

Yeah, it's pretty Rainhaze! Especially in his post-Asphodelpaw murder manic phase.

If you knew what I knew, if you saw what I see You’d look through illusions, hallucinations, and lucid dream And I know that meaning can be such a pretty thing to keep But I got facts and I’m not afraid to use ‘em, take the good with the bad, take off the back you make a new front Some days I'm glad that I am a madman and I’d rather be that than An amicable animal, mild-mannered cannibal

Aww wait :(

Looks like the cat did a number on you Vienna, oh He took a brick off the side of the stoop Poor vienna It'll be over soon Your mamas waiting for ya But you're not coming home

Your mamas been so worried Cause you never came home Beneath the ground you're buried In memoriam

Yes I think it could be! Even more, I think it's exemplary of Deepdark's general charisma and desire to recruit people into Defiance, reminiscent of his speech from Issue 28.

You and me should go outside And beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em All pathetic flag waving ignorant geeks And we'll eat 'em, eat 'em, eat 'em, eat 'em, eat 'em

Come join the cause, come join the cause Who wants to come with me and come join the cause? Hide in the sky, hide in the sky Who wants to come with me and hide in the sky?

Oh, my mom loves this album, I grew up listening to it. This does remind me a bit of them, how sweet and sad.

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes Let them know you realize that life goes fast It's hard to make the good things last You realize the sun doesn't go down It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do you realize That you have the most beautiful face? Do you realize?

What a unique take on their relationship! I do like the theme of Ranger guiding Rainhaze's hand, and the parent-child energy is very interesting for them. Interesting take on Mordred, for that matter.

Guileless Son, I'll shape your belief And you'll always know that your father's a thief And you won't understand the cause of your grief But you'll always follow the voices beneath

Loyalty Loyalty Loyalty Loyalty Loyalty Loyalty Loyalty only to me

[russellsppttemplates]

So a bit sad ask. Burying your cat, the kids are sad and they are confused why it happened , so the reader and max/george kinda have to explain about what happened (introduction about life and death) , reader is extra sad cause its the cat she know for a long time

I just buried one of the strey cat that stay around my house so.......🙃 Yeahhhh so hug your pet please for meeee

Note: I'm so sorry 🥺 sending you a big big hug ✨️

Cw: death of a pet (cat), mentions burial and talking to kids about death

"I'm afraid, but there's nothing we can do", the vet said as you and Max sighed, stroking Jimmy's fur as he laid down on his carrier, cuddled up to the blanket. The cat hadn't been behaving like he usually does, and after the kids pointed out the same, you took him to the vets. After a couple of scans and tests, they told you the worst news you expected to hear.

After prescribing medications to keep him comfortable at home, you took your four pawed child home, your hand in Max's thigh as he drove while he rubbed the top of your palm with his thumb, "want to share what's on your mind?", you mumbled.

"It's... I knew this would happen someday, but it's sad still", Max spoke after gathering his thoughts for a bit, "I know, I feel the same. At least he can be home with us, and he won't be in pain", you attempted at lightning the mood.

When you woke up to Sassy tapping the duvet, your heart squeezed as you shook your husband awake, "Max", you called as he noticed the scene, knowing why you woke him up before the alarm. In their cat beds, Jimmy laid perfectly still, no other movements other than Sassy meowing and trying to get him to move by touching his nose.

You brought them downstairs, preparing the spot in the garden once the kids woke up, "I'm sad, mama", Finn finally spoke as Julia stayed in Max's lap, her little hand clutching his t-shirt as she cried quietly.

"It's okay to feel sad, my love, and to cry, too", you explained, "everything you feel is valid, okay? And we are all here to go through this together", you smiled sadly, Max squeezing your hand in his.

"Why does this happen?", Julia asked honestly, "we'll, princess, this is a part of life. Jimmy got to live many, many years with us - he was a lot older than you and Finn - and now he got sick. He was in a little bit of pain, that's why me and mama gave the medications. And he got to be very loved for all of it", Max tried his best to explain to the little girl, "it's not fair", she chirped in, "I know, Julia", he said, kissing the top of her head.

"Is Sassy going to die, too?", Finn spoke up, his mind taking him one step further as Julia looked up at her parents so she could hear the answer, "one day, yes. The doctor said we don't have anything to worry about, Sassy is very healthy and should have some healthy years left. But yes, it will happen", you explained.

"Well", Finn said as he pushed Sassy closer to the four of you, "when we're going to continue to love you so wo so much, Sassy", he declared.

After saying one last goodbye in the garden, you and Max prepared a little station so the kids could make a scrapbook, using the small printer to print out photos of the best memories you had with Jimmy, "is this me?", Julia asked at the picture where the cats where smelling the new baby, "That's Finn, actually, it was the first day we brought him home. When we brought you home, the cats were so excited we didn't even take a picture of the first time you met them, but this one here is you", you grabbed it, showing her a picture of her taking a nap with the cats around her, "I was so tiny", she commented.

"This was the day Jimmy accidentally fell in the pool", Finn showed Max, who was glueing down the last sticker down on the page, giggling as the memory came up, "he had to swim to the edge and mama helped him out, he even scratched her hand, remember?", he recalled before showing it to Julia, "you were little still, but you should've seen him! He just swam as hard as he could!".

When Max put the kids to bed, he found you sitting against the headboard of your bed, Sassy on your lap and your hands stroking the soft fur, stopping when the wiped your cheeks, "hey, liefje", Max said, taking off his t-shirt and climbing next to you as you cuddled his naked torso as Sassy went back to the cat bed, "they're the first cats I truly cared over - you know my family are mostly dog people - and it's sad", you pouted, "remember when he kept biting my ankles when I first came over to your flat?", you giggled as Max did the same, "yes! I was so embarrassed because I thought you'd never want to come back", Max added, "Oh, so many memories with that little fur ball".

(Thank you for your submission ✨️)

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Hello!! This is my first time requesting something so I'm sorry if I did it wrong or something, so I was wondering if you could do one with preferably Dazai where the reader is suicidal and mostly copes with humor. Oh and could the reader also be a teen like 13 years old?

Circus Hop

Self-Aware! Platonic! Dazai Osamu x GN! Teen! Suicidal! Reader

Description: You were two years younger then him, when he tried to end his life for the first time. You resemble him in more, then one way.

Warning: Mentions of Suicide, Suicide attempt. Parental Neglect. Emotional abuse. Terrible parents. Self-harm. Breakdown. English is my second language

Inspired by the song Circus Hop by YonKaGor.

List of Suicide hotline numbers can be found here and here.

____

Your father brought you to this small building. Someone from school insisted on that.

The room she asked you to stay was quiet. Her voice and your father's voices were muffled, because of the door.

Few minutes ago you were talking to the woman. She asked you about your life, your plans for the future, your friends.

Your answers were simple.

Nothing interesting. Don't have any plans for future. Don't want to meet my friends... Just don't want to.

Then she asked you about pictures you have drawn. And asking about your parents about death. And when the thoughts appeared.

Another set of answers.

I feel like drawing it. I feel like talking about it. After Granny's death.

You... think, that you feel like it. You still can feel, right?

Then she asked you to do some tests. First, you must answer, if some sentences can describe you¹, than you must finish some sentences², then group other sentences together ³.

After you finished, she asked you to wait here, while she talks to your father.

You were left alone.

You looked around.

There were nothing interesting for you. Yet, you continue sitting on the sofa and dangling your feet.

You didn't flinch, when your father opened the door, shouting at the woman, who was talking to him.

"Don't you have anything, that will fix them? They are creeping out everyone!"

Woman's voice was firm.

"I already told you, that your child need professional help. You should..."

Your father's gaze became colder.

"I will take them home. They aren't suicidal. They just a little brat who want some attention and who are angry at their mother and I for working too much and not playing in their stupid games. Come, [Y/N], we are leaving!"

He took your hand in his and start to drag you behind him. You simply follow after him.

Before completely leaving the small building, your father stopped.

"Where's your jacket?"

You point at the door, that leads to woman's office.

"There. I forgot it there "

Your father grumble something and, after slapping you on the back of the neck, he walked towards the door and enter the office again.

"Idiotic brat."

Nothing new. As usual.

Then you heard, how the secretary and one of the janitors were talking.

"Another one of these parents. At first, they refuse to treat their children, because they don't have time for that..." Janitor said, glaring at the office door.

"And then, they must find time to bury their kid..." The secretary's gaze was full of sympathy, when she looked at you.

Your father returns with your jacket. You put if on and follow your father again.

He was mumbling under his breath.

"The nerve of this woman... [Y/N]! Just stop being sad. Be happy!"

You mindlessly nodded. You didn't pay much attention to your father's words. One thought were circling in your head.

"Is it important... to attend someone's funeral?"

_______

It was important. At least, The Internet said so.

Your parents... Work hard. If you die, they won't be able to go to your funeral.

You shouldn't die. At lest, for now.

But... You were so tired. You were so afraid. Future was scary. Life was scary.

and you were a failure

You remembered, your father's advice.

"Just stop being sad. Be happy."

Maybe... you could...

________

For a year, you followed your father's advice.

For one year, you manage to keep up a happy façade.

You became interested in life again.

probably... you do become interested in your hobbies again... at least...you don't even scratch your legs or pull out your hair that much.

Dad's advice works.

kind of... your jokes freaked people out... but the school therapist insisted on helping you in secret from your parents.

when dad found out, he enrolled you in a different school.

he yelled at you for being a brat

mom yelled at you for being a difficult child

You must stay happy. Just be happy.

Pretend to be happy.

you just want to be truly happy again

________

You liked BSD even before these thoughts appeared in your head. Your Granny bought you BSD Manga as a birthday present. It is special to you.

Dazai was one of your favorite character before. Now, he truly became your most favorite. You two are similar. He laughs and jokes. You laugh and joke.

both of you need help

You shake your head, chasing away the thoughts.

You open BSD Mayoi app, humming that song again.

________

Dazai felt nervous.

Two weeks ago, he and the rest of BSD Cast finally got into your world. And, he didn't like what he saw.

First, your parents left the country for a business trip. Leaving you under the care of a complete stranger. Who checked on you two times a day. For the rest of the day, they were doing their own business. And don't pick up the phone.

Your parents left a thirteen-year-old you on your own!

Thankfully, with a few bucks from Fitzgerald and a death glare from Fukuzawa, your 'babysitter' left. You were under BSD Cast care now.

Second, your jokes are concerning. Dazai isn't a hypocrite, he admits, that he jokes about ending his own life! When he and others heard your jokes, back in their world, Dazai was sure that it was his bad influence. But, it turns out, the truth was much darker.

Dazai stopped joking about suicide. He didn't want to worsen your condition even more.

Third, the scratches on your legs.

You scraped your knee a few days ago, and Yosano bandaged it. And she saw this strange marks on your legs. Scratches. Deep. Dazai had a feeling, that you were the one, who made them.

Dazai was worried about you. He wanted to help you.

_______

With each day, it became harder and harder for you to pretend to be happy.

BSD Cast makes sure of that.

They weren't rude. They didn't yell. They... were there.

Asking if you need help. Telling you, that you are allowed to cry. That they will always be there for you.

You wanted to tell them everything. To tell the truth.

But, the call from your father happened.

_____

"Why your voice shaking, [Y/N]? Are you being a brat again?"

"I...I..."

"You're a little ungrateful... You want to make our lives hard?! Did you like it?! You know what, fine! If you didn't want to be there so badly, then d[|||||||||||||||]! See, if your mother and I will cry."

The call ended.

And you were broken.

______

It was dinner time. And you were uncharacteristically silent. No laughter. No jokes. No questions. No talking about your day. Nothing.

Then in the middle of the dinner, you start humming the song. Song, that they heard you humming all the time.

But your eyes were empty.

Dazai carefully touch your shoulder.

"[Y/N], kiddo? Are you alright?"

You slowly nodded. An empty grin appears on your face.

"I am! I am fine... I am happy! I...I can even sing a song!"

BSD Cast looked at each other. Dazai carefully spoke.

"A song?"

You nodded, taking your phone. You quickly found an instrumental.

"Yes! Want to hear it?"

You didn't wait for his, or anyone's response, you pressed play button. The song started playing from the middle.

A cheerful melody start playing.

Soon you sang.

"I shall now accept the fact that I'm a failure (You're a failure). 'Cause I'm still afraid the future might be scarier (It is scarier). I'll slip while having fun and cut off my own tongue. They'll think I was dumb!"

The grin on your face and empty gaze was frightening. Everyone slowly stand up from the table. Fukuzawa took a step towards you.

"[Y/N], if something is wrong, please..."

You ignored him.

"Up from the sky, I won't want you to cry. So here's an act for everyone to sneer at"

Suddenly, you stand up and star jumping up and down.

"So sing along, it's such a silly song. The cackling carousel, it spins and never stops. The acrobat who's waiting at the top. Should do a circus hop!"

You let out a hysterical laughter.

Mom and dad won't cry. No one would care. You can't be happy. You didn't feel anything. No one would care.

"I've said goodbye, I don't want you to cry. So have a laugh with everyone but me"

You were now standing in the middle of the room. You didn't pay attention to BSD Cast. To their pleas to talk to them.

The only thing that matters to you was the open window.

Quick.

You made a dash towards the window. For some reason, you still sang.

You forced yourself to sing. Like this song gave you strength.

"So sing along, it's such a silly song. The cackling carousel, it spins and never stops. The acrobat who fell off from the top. They did a little drop!"

Right before you grab the window's handle, something heavy crushed against you.

You fall down on the floor.

Dazai was pinning you to the floor, making sure, that you can't move.

Something wet fall on your face. You looked up.

Dazai was crying. With shaking hands, he hugged you.

BSD Cast surrounded you. You were in a group hug.

"[Y/N]! Never, never do it again! Kiddo..."

"[Y/N]! Are you hurt? Do you need medical help?"

"First thing tomorrow we are going to the therapist... No! I will find the therapist right now! There must be someone working right now!"

Tears. They were worried about you. They were crying for you.

For the first time since Granny's death, you cried.

"I... I am so scared! After Granny died, I was so alone! Mom and Dad weren't home! They didn't answer my questions about Granny! One day... I just stopped to care about the future. I was afraid of future! Live became so hard! I didn't feel anything... I just want it to end! I want to..."

You didn't finish your sentence and sobbed, hiding your face in Dazai's chest.

Dazai's words were warm. His voice was still shaky.

"You are not alone, [Y/N]... We will be there. I will be there."

_____

For the next few days, you were constantly under supervision. BSD Cast make sure, that you don't have any access to sharp things, medicine, windows.

You start attending therapy. What surprised you the most, that Dazai were attending it with you.

"I will be a bad big brother, if I don't act as an example."

Your parents were fired. Fitzgerald pressed charges about neglect and abuse.

You don't know how, but Fitzgerald adopted you almost instantly.

You had a long way ahead of you.

But you know, you will be better.

Because, one time, you finally thought about your future. And you were waiting for this future to come.

____

¹ Modifications of "Eysenck's Personality Test" for Teens is used to diagnose suicidal behavior.

²Modification of "Sacks Sentence Completion Test, SSCT" is used to diagnose suicidal behavior of teens and children.

³ One of the test, that is used by psychologists in Russia.

[littlestarbigsky]

I have a really, really sad request... my grandfather passed away a few months ago. He was the youngest of three boys. His older brother passed away a couple of years ago. Leaving behind only the middle child.

And all I keep thinking of is Soda being the last one alive after Darry and Pony die and it's making me so sad. I want to write it myself, but can't bring myself to. But it's just so heartbreaking.

first of all, i’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather anon, i hope you’re doing alright and that you have the love and support you need🫶🏻

so here’s the thing, i wasn’t sure how i wanted to approach this one, but then one of my coworkers lost her husband on christmas and the memory of grief came so easily.. not gonna lie this one did a number on me but im so glad that you trusted me with this anon❤️‍🩹

it’s not very long but i hope this is okay🩷

when they lost pony, soda didn’t truly internalize the loss until a few weeks after the funeral. darry had been a wreck, catatonic, unable to get out of bed, much less get himself out of the house for anything other than the funeral. soda held it together reasonably well, planning a small funeral for their baby brother and using the money they had stashed away to send him to college to pay their bills for a few weeks while they tried to move through the loss.

it didn’t really hit him until soda was back at work and some kid, probably close to pony’s age, from the high school came in and bought a pepsi. steve came in to the shop half an hour later to find soda on the floor in behind the counter, shaking and sobbing because god damn it his baby brother was gone. steve held him as he cried until he couldn’t breathe, holding him like a lifeline until darry could get there from work to take him home.

“it’s okay, honey, we’re gonna be okay,” darry had said, hugging soda to him in the back seat of the truck while his little brother sobbed.

soda had screamed at him, “nothing’s okay, darry! pony’s gone!”

still, they found a way to keep going. darry slept in soda’s room more often than not. they both had trouble sleeping after losing their brother, and soda needed someone to be near him and darry needed to know that soda was okay.

none of that felt like it mattered anymore, because when it was darry’s turn to go, soda couldn’t take it. he couldn’t leave the house. he couldn’t eat or drink. the grief was all consuming and snapped him clean in two.

darry probably wouldn’t have even had a funeral if it hadn’t been for two-bit and steve, who were maybe two of the worst people in the world to plan something like that, but they knew what had to be done. they had unfortunately helped out with a few too many curtis family funerals over the years that they knew who to invite, where to hold it, to keep the casket closed.

they had to drag soda there on the day, and he stayed attached to steve the entire time. he sobbed all the way through the service, and he couldn’t stop himself from falling to his damn knees when they lowered his big brother into the ground, right next to pony, right next to their parents. it was all wrong, their parents should still have been alive, not buried with two of their sons right next to them.

he wouldn’t leave his room, but he wouldn’t let himself rest. steve had to stay with soda overnight and hold him close just to make sure he slept at all. two-bit heated up the food people had brought and sat with him while he ate just to be sure that it happened. they knew they weren’t his brothers, but they did what they could.

despite how long it took him to pull himself together again, he finally managed to make it back to work. he liked being at work, being around other people, not having to sit and wallow in how deep the wounds felt. it was almost like he could pretend that they were all still there, that he would go home and see his parents and brothers, not a hauntingly empty house.

eventually steve and two-bit moved in with him, they adopted a dog, they found a new normal. it still crushed soda’s soul to have to keep living and hit milestones that his family never would, but he made his peace with it. it was his job to make them proud. and that was worth it.

he was their last hope.

[cepetriwrites]

Alicent Reverses the Hourglass Chapter 52 Memes Pt 3

Her husband, her castle. A voice from within whispered. Now even her gown.

Alicent dug her fingernails into her hand.

No. They existed in a different world now. The past should stay in the past.

AVPM anyone?

She literally had a magical witch call her out on her relationship with rhaenyra and Alicent is just: No thoughts. Head empty. Get dick.

~~~~~~~

He had shown little interest in matters of local politics, household structure or financial planning: all these things he was more than happy to leave to Alicent’s keeping.

The man who wants to be king everybody……

Daemon was too busy dying and tripping balls in Harrenhal to notice how much work ruling is

~~~~~~~~~

“Are you about to tell me how I may select mine own heir, my lord?” Daemon’s voice held an all-too familiar edge. “Do you imagine I require your opinion?”

Me:

This is what an ally looks like. If I had to choose between daemon and a bear…. I’d probably still choose the bear cause daemon loves killing people but if he did kill me, it wouldn’t be because of sexism, it’s just because he’s an asshole. Take notes men.

~~~~~

Corlys and Rhaenys looked at each other and everyone else brought their eyes back down to their plates.

Me wanting to be apart of that post dinner debrief/gossip

I just want to be the kid in the backseat of their parents car as they discuss the drama from the latest family function

~~~~~

All with the exception of Selman Sunglass who clapped his hands, eager to agree with everything coming from Alicent’s mouth no matter what it happened to be. “Well, I think it is a fine idea! Times are changing after all! Male, female: they will still be the Prince and Lady Alicent’s child.”

I’ll allow it. Raw as well.

~~~~~~

“My mother and he raised Viserys and I together. As one. I always intended to do the same with my own family.”

“I agree.” Corlys said.

Both Laenor and Rhaenys raised their eyebrows in unison. “ You do?” They spoke together.

Laenor when his dad implies he’s a present father

Me & laenor should get shirts for our club

~~~~~

Gwayne & Laenor going through a messy gay breakup at the dinner table

The dinner guests

It’s so sad when friends fight :(

Meanwhile cut to Laenor buried under blankets sobbing as he blasts casual by Chappell roan

Someone should introduce these boys to the concept of an affair…. Lord Corlys is pretty well versed on the subject……

~~~~~~

At that moment, Gwayne couldn’t help but feel horribly out-of-place. He gave another look to the back of Laenor’s head and then left, quickly before the next song began.

So ignoring your loved ones cries for help is just….. a thing you do… huh?

Someone tell Aegon it was nothing personal when she moonwalked away from him as he sobbed over the death of his son, she’s just allergic to the spectrum of human emotion

Aegon🤝Gwayne🤝Rhaenyra = getting ignored by Alicent during their times of need

~~~~~~~

Daemon glanced at her as if surprised. “I thought you would be pleased at the idea of our daughter being our heir.”

Anskdkslwksnd he thought his sexist wife, who did a coup that killed most of the Targaryens and dragons to put a younger son over the oldest daughter, would be happy about him equally valuing a daughter? Sir you are married to the Westerosi version of Phyllis Schlafly.

~~~~~~~~

“I saw him drink goblet upon goblet of wine,” Arthor’s eyes roved over her. “His temper will be soft and…malleable.” He came forward began to twist at the seam of her bodice until her cleavage spilled forth. “There. That’s better.”

Shoutout to reddish for writing such toxic people it makes me happier with my annoying family members. At least they’ve never tried pimping me out

~~~~~~~

He hoped that, at some point, he could cleave one of Alicent’s enemies in two. The look on her face: both gratitude and love. He was impatient for it.

She would see then that only he could be called upon to protect her and cast all memories of the Dornish knight or the Baratheon boy into flame.

His love language is literally murder. At this point I think he needs it to function the way we need food to survive.

Also not his anxious attachment still making him insecure over a Baratheon when Alicent was literally riding him like a stallion with an audience watching.

Good thing she’s not bi, the man would never know peace if he knew everyone was an option.

~~~~~~

“Wife.” His fingers drowsily grazed her arm, still between sleep and waking, the medicine addling him.

Koline chose not to speak. She straddled him instead, making sure that her scented skin was underneath his nose. He breathed in and seemed contented. {…} In the hollowness of the dark chamber, she did her duty.

Hey what… um… that’s um… that’s a….

I cannot believe I am using this video for TWO different people.

~~~~~

Alicent & Koline staring at each other after Alicent walks in on her mid sexual assault

~~~~~

Alicent feeling her brain chemistry change as she catches her husband “cheating” on her

Homegirl about to snap and take everyone with her

Memes Masterpost

[dancingbabya-notes]

Your scars are beautiful

<-•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•->

Everyone gains scars; it's a part of life, no one is immune to that. From small ones that are barely noticeable to ones that signify or are a reminder of a very strong memory. A badge of honor, a reminder of a mistake, luck that no one else was harmed, or a bad memory. (PS the only reason I wrote this is because the most recent chapters I've read are rotting my brain and I sometimes think a little too hard about my own scars)

Characters: Todoroki, Mirio, Midoriya, Amajiki, Bakugo, Kirishima, Kaminari, Shinso, Shoji

Spoiler warning: there are spoilers for the bnha/MHA manga in Shoji’s part so if you don’t want that please don’t bother reading.

Tw: trauma, mention of falling from extreme heights, mentions of child abuse, mentions of abuse, mention of self harm, 

<-•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•->

Todoroki

Sometimes you would walk into your shared room with Shoto, he looks at his face so intently in the mirror. But trying to imagine him without the burn scar on his face was difficult. That was your only image of him since school. Today he seemed to be intently picking at the skin around the old scar.

Walking up behind him you put his hands down so they sat in his lap as you hug him tightly. “Sho, Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He states, his low voice not expressing much emotion but for some reason you just knew.

“Do you wanna touch my scar?” You ask, he blinked.

You were very protective of your own scars, it wasn’t because it was an old scar. It wasn’t because of anything sad, it was because you went too far. Like Icarus you flew too close to the sun and lost your wings. When it happened you remember him reaching for you and the pain in his eyes.

“Are you sure, my love?” He looks at you in the mirror.

“Of course, you always tell me you find comfort when I touch your scar,” you smile.

“No,” he shakes his head, his hand sitting comfortably in yours. “Just sitting with me right now is fine.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“It’s an old story.”

“That doesn’t mean it can stir new feelings,” you offer, giving him a slight squeeze.

Shoto thinks for a moment, mouth opening and closing a few times as time seemed to stretch before he found the right words. “I know now…why my mother felt the way she did. But I can’t… help but feel I had been too hasty in forgiving her. Or… that I’m wrong for not forgiving… my father.”

You try to think of a good thing to say but you weren’t sure if your words would bring him solace or pester the pain more. “I think you need to talk to them again. While it may open old bleeding wounds I feel telling them how you’re feeling might help. If you want I can sit with you when you do?”

“No, I feel it will only cause me unnecessary pain,” he sighs.

“But emotional pain can come up later,” you mumble then to realize. “Sho, are you worried that we will be bad parents to our children?”

“Yes,” he pulls on your hand a bit, stretching it a bit beyond to position that was slowly making pins and needles prick at your skin.

“No one’s perfect, but all we can do is try our best and make up for the mistakes we make. If you want when we start a family we can go to counseling,” you suggest. “That way we can get a second option, you might also get some closure with the pain you feel regarding your parents.”

Shoto pulls you around to face him, kind of sitting his lap but with his arms around you instead of you’re around him. You smile as he buries his face into your hoodie.

“You always seem to know what to say my love.”

Kirishima

“Babe?”

Flinching you quickly roll your pant leg back down. It was moments like these where you wish the mirror didn’t make you feel so small.

“There you are,” Eijiro smiles as he pulls you into a hug. “I thought you were asleep or something.”

“I was just antsy,” you mumble. “Sorry I should have said I was in here.”

He looks at you and he can tell. “Your scars are making you anxious, aren’t they?”

You nod.

He starts peppering your face in kisses. “It’s not your fault, it wasn’t something we could help. Nurse didn’t know.”

Nurse. Without her you didn’t want to know what would have happened to you. Your hero career would have ended that day. Even the short month to recuperate wasn’t enough time, you still had nightmares, waking up screaming, and the phantom pains. The reminder was the scars. Why couldn’t you move past this?

“I know.”

Eijiro picks you up and sits on the bed with you in his arms. He kissed your face, but you could tell where he was kissing. He had a purpose. Your body was littered with scars, the proof of your life and the things you’ve dealt with. The thin one just above your eye was from when your brother spent a day drawing portals through the house and you had fallen through one out into the tree. The smooth one by your ear from a surgery that had been found to be unnecessary: the hospital had mixed up your chart with another child patient, your mom was not enthused.

The one under your eye from when you accidentally cut your face, having thought you put the exact blade down, you were lucky you didn’t get your eye. He brings your hands up and he kisses your fingers, the paper thin cuts you’d gotten from learning how to cook and other craft related accidents. A small giggle escapes as he looks you in the eye for a moment.

“You don’t have to do this,” you smile.

“But I want to.”

With each kiss you were reminded of the origin of the scar. Your left hand: a wet rock from the river by the summer house. Your right wrist: the bracelet you wore during a spontaneous rescue during second year. Your shoulders: the burns from an old mission. Your stomach: an inconsolable attacker. Every memory was fine until he kissed your legs. The perfect lined scars that cut straight accords your knees.

Your breath shook a bit as the tears started. You were so scared. Plenty of other times you’d been scared but when you couldn’t feel your feet or toes, or even just the pain, were the most terrifying two minutes of your life.

His hands touched the scar and you flinched. “I know that I’m lucky. So many people pity me now.”

“Who cares what they feel about your scars,” your boyfriend pulls you back into his lap, peppering the top of your head and your forehead with kisses. “What matters is you are here, you are safe, and the pain you feel will disappear. It will fade into a bad memory.”

“I know. But what if-

“Y/n, if anything had happened we would have figured it out. Okay?”

You nod. “Thank you Eiji.”

Midoriya

When you see Midoriya’s scars, the ones on his hands, his arms, anywhere you wonder, would it have been better if you realized and accepted your second quirk sooner. You had grown used to using the regenerative ability given to you by the monster that forced your creation. Body torn to shreds over and over again, everyone always talked about how lucky you were. But were you?

You could lose a finger and if you consume enough toxins you could grow it back without worry. Your body showed no signs of scarring, well not visible at first glance. You had one scar. It was small and you just knew it was a part of you now.

“Cookie? Is there something on me? Don’t tell me there’s another water-

“No, you’re fine.” You shake your head and you smile looking at your boyfriend. “Have I ever mentioned that you’re beautiful?”

Midoriya didn’t seem to know what to say, his jaw hung open as he quickly covered his mouth and turned away. You chuckle slowly breaking into a laugh as he blushes so hard you could see it on his back from his shoulders.

“Cookie,” he whines and you slowly try to catch your breath.

Standing up you smile before taking his hand and kissing the first scar you’d ever seen on him. “It’s true. I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.”

You weren’t sure what it was but he pulled you close to him before kissing the top of your left ear. Which made you embarrassed, the only imperfection you had. A slight notch in the top of your ear. Like someone had cut a slice of it out. At the time you must have been no older than three or four, the faint memory of pain and then it ending.

“I think you are far more beautiful than I am,” he smiles before you push him away.

“Put on a fucking shirt,” you scold.

Mirio

“Sunshine, are you okay you’re shaking?”

Putting the pot down you think. “I’m fine though. Huh?”

Turning your. Hands over and over you did notice a slight shake, but that was normal right? Frowning it was odd when old memories would be triggered.

“Ah, I know what’s wrong.” You chuckle nervously. “I remembered when my mom had a hard time moving the pot to the table because she didn’t want us to burn our hands on the plates.”

Mirio was a bit confused. “Why did you think about that?”

You flex your wings and shift the feathers to the side a bit to show the one spot where only short feathers grew, it didn’t impair  your flying and you were surprised you could even fly at this age. “She dropped the pot, my dad was so angry he hit her and got me in the crossfire.”

Though you had a light hearted smile on your face Mirio frowns. “I’m sorry to hear that Sunshine.”

You wave your hand dismissively. “If I hadn’t witnessed that I’m sure you and I would have never met. Don’t apologize, it made me think that I hope my mom is in a better place, and I will be very very careful who I marry if I ever do.”

Mirio had thought much about how you’d grown up, it was partially because you never talked about it. He didn’t want to pry usually but he did want to know as much as you were comfortable sharing.

“How do you feel about scars anyway?” You ask.

“They’re proof we live,” he smiles before brushing his hand against your feathers.

You shriek, pulling away quickly and stumbling forward. Groaning you clutch your side, having effectively slammed your entire weight into the corner of the counter.

“A warning,” you gasp. “Please, my feathers are sensitive.”

“R-right.”

Shaking your head you start laughing only to be paused from the pain shooting up your body.

Amajiki

Your partner watches intently as you work. He always did this, because he said it made him feel better. Watching you work when he had nothing to do. Somewhere along the way of learning you had been given the task to create new things for uniform fabrics. He remembered how when you both met and you made him something only for him to learn how your quirk actually worked.

Your blood infused with fabrics could change them drastically. A fabric that couldn’t be cut with most known blades unless you bled on it. A super stretchy fabric that didn’t wear easily if at all, water resistant fabric, changing a fabric to be flame retardant. Your quirk was virtually limitless if you had drawn enough blood.

“Tamaki? You’re staring pretty hard right now, did I mess up the pattern somewhere?” You pause a bit confused as you look over the piece.

Chuckling a big he shakes his head. “I just thought you looked beautiful.”

Okay now you messed up, quickly switching off the machine you felt yourself gradually melt to the floor. “What did I do to deserve someone as kind as you?”

“N-no I’m the lucky one,” he argues.

“I’m not beautiful and you know that, all these scars from trying to figure out how to use my quirk.” You laugh jokingly.

But Tamaki grabs your hands tightly. “You are beautiful, scars and all.”

You couldn’t help but smile, it was a stupid smile that one only makes when they’re drunk on love. “You’re beautiful too Tamaki. As beautiful as the moon.”

His face quickly reddens, but he did have enough sense to pick you up off the floor. Your work space was a workplace hazard in more ways than one.

“Don’t ever say your scars aren’t beautiful, without your abilities some many more people would be in danger,” he huffs, his ears burning from his embarrassment from your earlier comment.

“Mm, I’ll try.”

Bakugo

Katsuki hardly cared about his scars. He took care of his body and as long as he could do his job as a hero who cared what he looked like. But usually he’d skim over his scars when getting changed and a recent exchange made him angry seeing his scars.

You were working like usual, heroes were still plentiful but the job was safe. Your hero costume featured a mask to shield your face from others. Only he and a few trusted people ever saw your face without the mask. So during the recent publicity event when someone chastised and scolded you for your scar Katsuki had to be held back.

“It’s fine, I’m used to it,” you had said, but you still cried yourself to sleep in his arms.

It was a scar that left you permanently inhibited, taking one eye with it. After all the healing you’d gone through and everything one person’s comment could still bring you down.

“Tsuki? Are you okay?” You ask, crossing your arms.

He scoffs. “I’m fine.”

“Tomorrow is the gala right?”

“Mm.”

“Would you be mad if I said I’d rather stay home?”

Why? He didn’t want to go, you didn’t, might as well.

“Then we don’t have to go.” He shakes the wrinkles out of his shirt before folding it.

You pause. “What?”

“I didn’t stutter.”

“I never said you did, are you sure we can just-

Katsuki stops folding the clothes and faces you. “I’m tired, so are you. Plus, you need a break from your mask. Whose fucking idea was it for it to be so tight to your face? Can’t even fucking breathe properly in that damn thing.”

You blink. “Wait, do you think I’m upset about what that person said?”

He narrows his eyes.

“Katsuki, seriously? I’ve had this scar since I was like five. Sure as shit ain’t pretty, but someone who doesn’t matter to me isn’t gonna make me upset.” You laugh. “If this hadn’t happened to me I would have never learned how to feel around for water and sense things with it.”

He smirks, pulling you into a hug. “Damn right. But we’re still not going to the gala.”

“Don’t wanna wear a tie?”

He didn’t answer you.

Kaminari

When you got married to Denki the first thing he did was make you cry. Because for some reason that was shut what he did. At your wedding in front of all your friends. Were you drunk? No. Had it been a long day? Yes. But somehow it was even more memorable.

Instead of a traditional or western “wedding” you both decided a small get together for family and friends would be so much better, on the condition your parents even showed up. As you looked at the scar that you both shared across your arms you couldn’t help but giggle.

“What are you looking at bumblebee?” He asked and his voice seemed to fall. “Oh.”

For Kaminari it held a different meaning. You were always so careful, it came with the territory of being a support item creator especially with a quirk like yours. Telekinesis could be powerful and used in many different ways but you used it both as a crutch and a tool to protect yourself. So when he saw that his mistake blemished your skin he thought “I just vowed to protect her and got her hurt.”

“I feel like it’s beautiful. Luckily Yoko could heal it up,” you smile brushing your fingers on your own scar.

“I’m sorry.”

You frown. “I like this scar. It’s not the first one I’ve ever gotten but it’s ours.”

“I didn’t know that knives could split like that if the wrong pressure is placed on it.”  He mumbles.

“It’ll be a good teaching moment for when this one gets older.” You coo brushing the hair from the child’s eye. “I’m sure Teru will think it’s funny how his parents share a scar. Though I think the story of how we met  will top that.”

“I guess you’re right. But I’m still sorry,” Kaminari pouts.

“You have more than made up for it, my overpowered pikachu.” You grab him by the face and squeeze it a bit before kissing him.

“Do you think Teru will get scars?”

“As he gets older yeah,” you nod, looking at the baby again.

“You’re happy with me right y/n?” Denki squeezes your scarred hand with his own.

“Of course I am. Accidental exploding knife and all. I think that made our wedding more memorable for me,” you chuckle. “I feel like it was my fault.”

“No, you can’t do anything wrong.”

Shinso

You smile as you finish giving the kitten a bath. Fostering the stray cats so they could be taken care of or at least fixed was probably one of the few things you were glad your house could accommodate. Which made you think about the first time things like this happened. Trying to help a stray dog which resulted in a nasty bite as a child. But regardless you got the dog to safety. Your mom wasn’t all that happy about the bite.

“Hey puddin,” you smile as the older cat rubs against your face. “You know where to leave your gifts. Hitoshi will be coming over tonight.”

You giggle thinking about the first time you met him. Helping out at your parents' rescue center Shinso Hitoshi came in with his arms and face bleeding as the cat tried to free itself of his hold. You damn near panicked because of it. Even laughing with him as you patched him up.

“Look we match.” He joked showing his own bite mark wound.

As he walked in you held the now dry kitten, purring snatched the kitten from you and started taking care of it herself.

“Okay mama, looks like my job is done.” You roll your eyes about to wash your hands.

“Was there any trouble?” Hitoshi asks puttting the groceries down.

“No, I just thought about how I met you.” You hum.

Hitoshi thinks for a moment and nods. “Oh, well I’m glad we match. Doing stuff like this would be hard otherwise.”

You look at the scars you both bear, if not for these you might never have met your best friend.

Shoji

When you met Shoji you had never expected it to be through your quirk. The ability to walk through people’s dreams and exist in that separate space. He’s much taller than you so even if your eyes weren’t glued to the floor you wouldn’t have usually made eye contact with him. Once you spent more time with him you had wondered about the mask why he wore it, but in fear of prying you kept your questions to yourself.

You’d always lived in the city you read about the way heteromorphs were treated in rural areas so seeing it first hand through a nightmare of his. Made you hurt. People who thought they were better than others hurt innocent people, it made you angry. But as he lays in your lap sleeping after a long day of hero work you keep your tears at bay.

“Why is this coming to mind now?” You mumble.

Shoji stirs in his sleep, and you bring your hand to his hair, rubbing his head much like how he did for you when you apologized for your inability to control your own quirk. His scars weren’t what made him, and you were glad at least he could come to terms with it. But the people who cared for him— like you. Will probably always feel pain. Leaning down, you kiss him and he chuckles.

“Are you crying again?”

You sniffle trying to make your voice normal. “No.”

“It’s in the past, things are slow to go but there’s been change since we were in school.” Shoji yawns a bit before sitting up. “Aside from thinking about the past, what are you thinking?”

“How beautiful you are,” you hum, stretching up a bit you cradle his face in your free hand. “Because it takes a lot to be this beautiful.”

He kisses the inside of your hand. “Only you say things like this.”

“And you know that I mean them. Just hold me back after counting to three if anyone dares say anything.” You clock your tongue.

“Hmm, I’ll give you five seconds.”

“Truly kind indeed to couple with your beauty,” you giggle, bowing your head a bit. “I am not worthy.”

But he didn’t laugh this time, instead he pulled you into his lap and just held you there. He does take your cup away from you.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be drinking coffee after five, stardust?” He frowns at the liquid and you avert your gaze.

“It’s decaf.” You lie.

He smells the cup and puts it on the coffee table before locking you in his hold. “I believe that’s enough ‘not coffee’ for one evening.”

Leaning back on his chest and looking up at him you still smile. “While your scars come from a bad memory I hope since they’ve healed you have a million more to make the bad seem insignificant. Plus I meant it when I said you’re beautiful.”

It was his turn to hold your face in one of his hands. “I know stardust. I know.”

[scarletta-ruan]

helloo, how are you? hope you're doing good! could you do a scenario with sigma, nikolai, fyodor and jouno where reader haves a mental breakdown in front of them??? you can choose the motive!

anyways, take care! i love requesting here, you're so kind and your writing is perfect 😭😭😭

SIGMA, NIKOLAI, FYODOR AND JOUNO WITH HIS SOMEONE HAS MENTAL BREAKDOWN

WARNING: OOC, mention of suicidal thought, reader is trying to against the mental breakdown, character is going to comfort them, soft!character

TYPE: Scenario

PAIRING: Sigma || Nikolai Gogol || Fyodor Dostoevsky || Saigiku Jouno x fem!reader

WORDCOUNTS: 0.9+ words

NOTES: Oh, and you too are also precious since you love putting request here. I hope that I would have more and more works for you to enjoy in the future. And your request is finally here.

1. Sigma

Sigma paid his attention to you when he heard you let out a long sigh again, just a few hours had passed and you gave him some signs that you weren’t in a good mood. This did hurt his heart for a bit, because he couldn’t stand your sadness. That was when Sigma approached the couch where you were sitting. Like normal, you just leaned on his shoulder and let out another sigh. Sigma wasn’t feeling good now, his mind came up with lots of questions when you showed off this side of yours.

“Is there anything… okay to you?”

“I’m just… not feeling good, you know.”

You chuckled bitterly, and when your eyes faced him Sigma saw a gleam of darkness was hiding deep in your eyes. So dark, so alone, even so… empty. Then again, you buried your face into your palms and groaned.

“Everythings is just too much for me. And I… am too tired for everything. I think I should-”

I think I should die. You couldn’t say those words out loud even if you wanted to, but when somebody faced their loved one they wouldn’t have any courage to show that person the weakness they had been carrying in their heart. Suddenly, you felt someone’s warmth surrounding your body. When you lifted your head up, Sigma slowly pulled you closer to him, he let your ear close to his heart.

So gentle, so warm, so precious, you thought all of this was too much, Sigma was always there when you needed some help. His arms around you felt more tight, then he whispered.

“Don’t… Don’t say that. It is too much for you, right? Then, will you take a breath in my arms?”

The heartbeat resounded in your ears just like a song, gentle and full of worry. You felt like yourself just like a small child weaving for their parents' love. He just soothed you down by letting you lean on him like this, he was too precious for you now.

2. Nikolai Gogol

You were sitting alone in the empty room. How many times did you lift your head up, looked around then buried it again? You didn’t get it at all, being mental breakdown stole away almost all the happiness in your life. You heard a rustling sound resounding near you, and as you lifted your head one more time, you saw a hand appear from the portal.

It was waving at you like it wanted to say hello. A moment later it pulled out a bunch of flowers and you heard someone was giggling at the door. There stood a young man with white hair, his mismatched beautiful eyes looked at you while still giggling. 

He then approached you who were sitting alone in the corner of the room a moment ago. He picked you up with his arms, when you were surprised he put a lot of kisses on your face. You shyly asked.

“W-What’s wrong, Kolya?”

“Huh, nothing. I just saw you were sad a moment ago when I entered the house, so… I thought you might be happy again when I kiss you.”

Nikolai replied without any hesitation. When you were lost in his mismatched eyes, Nikolai’s chuckles pulled you back to reality. And he quickly escaped the room with you in his arms, it seemed like he was going to pull you in another surprise just to cheer you up.

3. Fyodor Dostoevsky

Fyodor had been paying attention to the figure which was sitting on the couch an hour ago, he had no idea what you were doing now. But through the way you acted, he might guess you were having a bad time. He slowly put the tea pot and some cups of tea on the tray, by that way he could easily bring it up to you.

By the time Fyodor put the tray on the table in front of the couch, he finally saw your face. Eyes were full of tears and your hands were trying to wipe it all away but when you saw a pair of violet eyes were looking at you. You hid your face away from him, Fyodor let out a long sigh when he saw this.

A moment later, you felt his cold slender arms wrapped around your body. Fyodor was trying to hug you tightly in his arms.

“Wh-What-”

“Sh, just keep quiet. Rest, my dear. Just rest.”

He said, his other hand gently patted your back like he was comforting a child. You then naturally leaned on his touch, when you closed your eyes, Fyodor was humming a song beside your ears.

4. Saigiku Jouno

“There, do you want something else?”

Jouno said as he put the cup down on the table in front of your eyes. He was always gentle like this, though his eyes weren't able to see your face, but still himself was sharp enough to know what you were needing.

And since he was sharp enough to know about others' feelings through their heartbeat, Jouno always got his way to know that you were alright or not. He already knew that you were too tired and in a bad mood. 

“I had just made you some hot cocoa, it may help you to feel better.”

You slowly picked up the cup on the table and took a sip. The sweetness of the drink went through your throat, the warmth made you feel better than just an hour ago. 

“Is it good to help you feel better?”

Jouno asked again, this man he knew it clear like the back of his hand but still he always asked. You smiled at him and replied.

“Much better than now, Sai.”

He also gave you a familiar smile as he put a kiss on your forehead then hugged you tightly and said.

“Yeah, just don't push yourself too much next time. Remember that I still got you, okay?”

[viridis-mundo]

City with no name, person with no history

A thousand years ago, Pix voluntarily went into the desert and never returned. A thousand years later, it still has consequences. A short look at friendships that span lives.

"You’ve been spending a lot of time here lately," Pix smiles, there is no claim, no hint of suspicion. The smile is soft, he is simply observing the fact. The sky is blue, the grass is green, the ancient city that Pix is working so hard on has no name. Fwhip has been spending a lot here lately.

It is the middle of summer, and the sun stands high and shines for a long time, making its way even underground to the goblins. Gobland is cooler than the surface, but everyone still works a little slower and a little lazier than usual. Fwhip decided to stop construction during the heat wave. However, when your hands are not busy with materials, it turns out, that he has too much free time.

"Are you against it?" almost escapes Fwhip, but something inside him is suddenly afraid - what if he really is against it? What if suddenly Pix will say that he is tired of the company and overall the goblin is getting under his feet? What if he suddenly leaves? Which is honestly hilarious. Pix may disappear for a day or two or even a week, but everyone knows that this man has simply buried himself again in some ancient hole and sighs in admiration over half-broken vases.

"Someone should make you warm up, old man, otherwise you’ll wither away like your precious artifacts," Fwhip grins, kindly, of course, and Pix laughs too, a little muffled, as if from afar. Fwhip is again overwhelmed by the feeling that Pix is going to disappear right now. Pix has always been... Fwhip doesn't want to use the word "weird" because it implies that everyone else was normal (which they weren't), but there was always something ELSE about Pix's presence. He will tell you a fact and then add something ELSE that he shouldn't know, he will ask you a question, but there is something ELSE in the question, but you don't know for sure what it is, you will say the answer and he will hear something ELSE, incomprehensible to you. And then he will smile again and for some reason, you will feel sad.

"As if I don’t have enough warming up without you, little children," he is only like maybe eight years older than Fwhip, but Pix again looks into the distance, at the restored castle, and in his eyes is the regret of an immortal. Fwhip resists the urge to grab Pix by the sandy (it's blue-gray) shirt, like a really small child afraid of losing a parent at the festival. "I do need some fresh air from time to time," Fwhip adds more quietly, still hoping to keep his voice light-hearted, but, judging by Pix’s look, failing catastrophically. Pix looks at him closely, but not as intensely as, for example, Scott, with his magic eye, or Gem, with the carefree attitude of a princess, but with hawk's sight. Pix’s gaze is soothing, like a heavy blanket after a nervous day, like a mug of warm milk before bed, like the quiet dance of stars in the night sky. And just as centuries ago, people looked at the sky and looked for constellations, so Pix is always looking for something in someone else’s soul. With the precision of an archaeologist, he unearths long-forgotten (or buried) emotions, and Fwhip has always taken this as a challenge.

I have nothing to hide! Here I am!

But today, under Pix's magnifying glass, something too forgotten turned out to be, something that Fwhip was not ready to face. This something had a taste of redstone, gunpowder, and for some reason sand. The sand got into his teeth, into his nose, into his eyes, and that’s probably why Fwhip found that his eyes were watering. He nuzzles his nose into Pix’s shirt (it’s blue-gray), and he smells of copper - he was working on the copper aging machine underground. And this smell also calms, but for some reason, the tears keep flowing and flowing.

"I’m not going anywhere," Pix says quietly, hugging Fwhip back. And there is no consolation in the voice, only a promise, as if he was going somewhere, but changed his mind. And Fwhip believes, he nods his head, as if agreeing with the decision, and holds Pix even tighter.

A thousand years ago, these same hands could not find a sand shirt to hug and cry into. A thousand years ago, Fwhip stood alone in the middle of a desert that stretched for thousands of miles around him and wept alone. A thousand years ago, Pix voluntarily disappeared into the desert. A thousand years ago his friend did not return.

"I'm here," Pix says again as Fwhip calms down under the setting sun. The night embraced friends.

[onakomiyaki]

you with the dark curls, you with the watercolor eyes. pt.1

pairing: daniel ricciardo/max verstappen

summary: max always love him. like a moth drawn to a flame. but he flew too close to the fire. the love that once felt like the warmth of the ray of golden sun burnt him, leaving a daniel-shaped-scar on his heart.

warning: angst, unedited, rushed, and some incorrect grammar.

inspired by this song and its meaning. fueled by 3 cans of redbull energy drinks at 3 a.m

i really need someone to be my beta reader fr.

he wasn't sure what to feel when he heard about the rumor that has been going around the paddock. daniel is leaving the team. he is going to leave him. and max feel empty, almost. he feels like he should be mad at daniel.

together forever, he promised him back then–when he still a young naive boy, messing around at the garage of the karting track with a dream of becoming what daniel is. a damn good driver.

and he is leaving now. alas, he still have faith that it was just a flying rumor, made by the engineers to amuse themselves. so he just brush it off.

but when horner gathered the team at milton keynes–just a week before the next grand prix to announce the departure of the beloved aussie by the end of the 2018 season–he fell silent.

max–who sat across daniel on the meeting room–watch the older man in disbelief. his eyes desperately trying to make contact with him.

talk to me, daniel.

but his eyes never meet him. instead, daniel's head hung low, eyes on the floor. then to horner, then to the staffs–roaming around the room but refuse to make contact with him.

and that make him furious. he just silently stand up, walking towards the exit door. horner watch in silent, holding his hand up to stop daniel who is about to follow max.

"he is not good with goodbyes, let the kid be."

but he didn't listen. instead just give horner a stern look before jolting out to chase the blue-eyed dutch.

"max, wait-"

"leave me alone daniel."

"max, please listen to me-"

"i don't want to hear it daniel."

"max i'm sorry-"

"i said leave me alone!"

daniel stop at his track, staring at max who just shout at him. the younger halting his walk also, shoulder hunching before crouching down. he dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to stop the tears from flowing out.

"why?" he weakly ask, voice even more hoarser than usual.

max had never been good with goodbyes, thanks to his beloved father's unorthodox way of teaching him a valuable lesson back when he was a mere young child and his parent divorce.

the older man walk towards him, crouching beside him then ruffling his dirty blond hair. max–eyes blearing red, nose runny, and face turning as red as a tomato–turn his head to watch him. the tears stain on his cheeks glisten under the light that seeps through the tinted glass wall.

"because i have to." daniel simply said.

"what's wrong with staying here? is it not enough?"

"max, it is more than enough here. its just-"

"me? is it because of me?"

and daniel went silent, lips shut in thin line. his eyebrows knitted together, trying to hide the pain. his brown eyes lost his sparkle, masked with the sadness with a tint of jealousy. and max, notice that. he always notice the subtle changes on people's eyes. he knows when people were mad at him, or disappointed at him, or in this case, jealous of him by looking into their eyes.

so that's why daniel refuse to look at him. he is jealous of him.

daniel gently wipe the tears from max's cheeks, cradling his face with both of his hands carefully before touching their forehead together. max welcome his touch, leaning into him as both of his eyes closed and he let out a quiet sobs.

"it is me, max. never you." he said, pulling him into his warm embrace.

max buried his face on the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent as he's clutching his polo shirt like his life depend on it, afraid that he will disappear on him. god, he don't want him to go.

"i'm sorry daniel..." max said, mumbling into his shoulder.

daniel let out a small chuckle as he pat his back. he kissed his temple before letting go of the hug, once again cradling max face with such gentle touch as if max was a precious delicate diamond.

"how the hell you're a better driver and more mature than me, yet you are 8 years younger than me max? you beat me in every aspect in life at this point." daniel give him a big grin, showing his dimples to the pouting young man.

daniel put his right hand on top of max's head, brown irises met ocean-blue. he give him a reassuring smile when max–clearly still upset–didn't utter a word.

"max, i will stand with you. always. i'll watch every move you take. i'll be there at your wins or lost. i'll be there at your first world championship and many more i believe to come. i have my eyes on you, and i have no plan to take it away soon. together forever, right?" he continue, smiling at him.

max once again staring at him with quivering lips, searching for any lies in it. and when he didn't find it, he jumped into his arm, making the older man stumble back with a yelp but still catch him anyway.

"daniel?"

"yes, max?"

"i love you."

"i know, you can't resist a handsome bloke like me, maxie."

little did he know, max–underneath the gloomy sky of milton keynes, in his warm embrace–had confess to him.

max emillian verstappen, love him–daniel joseph ricciardo.

after the dramatic departure of daniel ricciardo, max had become a different person. people around him begun to notice the different vibe max is with daniel and without. he smile less now and keeping the conversation around him bare minimum. its just like his debut era once again, but worse.

and truth be told, the redbull racing team miss the loud ball full of energy aussie in the pit. pierre gasly is the driver who replace daniel ricciardo on the team for 2019 season. the shy soft-spoken frenchman can never fill the seat of daniel, max thought. and of course all the team share the same sentiment.

so when pierre introduce himself at max, the dutchmen just shot him with a half-hearted smile. pierre knew that the 22 years old still need time to adjust, so he is not offended by that. especially after daniel himself told him to just brace for the impact. he remember how the aussie describe max as a feisty cat.

"he will warm up to you after a while. let him come to you first, not the other way around."

and so, pierre just keep enough distance to keep max at bay, in case the dutchmen need his help or change his mind.

but even before max start to warm up to him, the redbull team decided to drop him from not performing well enough mid-season. max doesn't say anything.

then, came in a young talented driver from torro rosso, alexander albon, to avert the crisis. like pierre, daniel actually approach him and tell him to take his time with max. which alex responded that he'll be fine.

surprisingly max opened up immediately with the half-brit half-thai driver. their mutual hatred towards the marketing team bonded them in a way that pierre gasly couldn't do. that, and also the fact that alex ignore all the warnings from pierre and talk to max anyway.

"so you're telling me, that you are in love with ricciardo?" alex ask, pointing at max with his plastic fork.

"yeah... kinda?"

"but you only realize that you're in love with him after he left?"

"yes..."

alex let out a cackling laugh, and max shot him with a confused look. he scoop his salad then eat it, chewing as he tried to held back his laugh when max frown.

"did i say something funny?" max asked.

alex shake his head, swallowing before shot him a smile.

"you two are so bad at this." he said.

just when max about to open his mouth, daniel wave at them, calling their name as he jog towards them. his yellow polo and hat stuck like a sore thumb on the sea of navy blue.

"god that color is hideous." alex said, shielding his eyes from the bright color.

meanwhile max just stare in awe. he missed him so much, and boy do daniel look ravishing with that trimmed beard.

and he hate to admit the fact that daniel look good in yellow and black. no one should look good in that bright yellow color, but daniel just did. and max had to look away to compose himself.

who knows yellow would suit him well, personality-wise and appearance-wise.

daniel walk to the redbull hospitality like he owns the place, catching few handshake and hugs from his former crew teams. alex shake his head at the sight, muttering something about the crew being daniel's groupie. and max couldn't agree more.

even though he is not a redbull driver anymore, the whole redbull crew allow him to enter the redbull hospitality. he is still an honorary member of redbull racing team in the heart of the crews. and christian horner of course. so its only normal that the aussie had the privilage to enter redbull hospitality.

alex turn his body, waving at daniel before giving max a knowing smirk. max shot him with a warning glare, mouthing a silent 'don't' to the older driver.

"hello fellas."

"daniel! join us!" albon said, pointing the empty seat beside him.

daniel–being the sunshine he is–nod his head as he sat down. he give alex a pat on his back then give max a warm smile as he open a can of redbull he fetch earlier.

"what you eating maxie?"

and max stomach fluttered at the nickname. daniel is one of the only person who can call him that, leclerc being the second just because max feel close enough to the monegasque. max finally peel off his gaze from his sad-looking salad, to stare at daniel.

blue met honey color, and max felt his breath stuck in his throat.

"lunch, i hope." he simply answer, stabbing his salad like he want to murder it.

a

alex watch in silence as he exchange text with george and lando in their group chat. he sent them a secret snap of max and daniel who sat across each other with a simple caption 'imma play cupid.' which lando only reply with 'max gonna kill u' and the other brit simply send a rolling eyes emoji.

he stand up from his seat taking the empty container and the half-full redbull can with him as he pocket his phone. max shot him with a confused look, eyebrows knitted together in silence. and alex noticing the poor look on the dutch's face.

"i'm done with lunch, you guys take your time okay? i have to go and fetch george from williams garage." he said raising his eyebrows at max.

"aww mate, just invite george to join us! the more the merrier, right max?" daniel said, reaching for max's arm and put his hand on top of it.

max swallows as he look at his arm. "yeah, sure."

"nah he'll be okay... he just want to complain about the cheap foods they serve on williams hospitality."

if george heard alex had thrown him under the bus, he would kill him immediately. but he had to, he's playing 'cupid' after all. alex is ready to risk it all.

"is it that bad?" daniel asked.

"oh yeah. it is that bad. they can barely afford spareparts what makes you think they can afford decent foods?"

"damn alex that was uncalled for." the aussie wince.

"careful what you said about them, you might be the one to replace george someday you know?" max said, almost as if he put curse on alex.

and alex shivers at that.

"hey, i thought we were bonding max! not even a year and you're already kicking me out of the team?" he said with pout, while the dutch shrug.

"unbelieveable, i'm outta here." alex said with exageratted sigh as he walk away from the two men.

max silently watch alex with an annoyed glare when alex give him a thumbs up when daniel wasn't looking. he even more annoyed when he saw alex making kissing gesture with his hand. max just give him a secret middle finger as he scratch his temple and alex let out a silent mocking laugh.

after alex was gone from his vision, max stole a glance at the older man, cheek blushed at the thought of kissing him. then he let out a shuddered breath.

he still look the same and it hurts him. it hurt to see him in that yellow polo instead of navy blue. it hurt to see him walking side by side with nico hülkenberg instead of him. what hurt the most is the fact that he can not spend times with daniel throughout the race together anymore.

he remember what he said at the interview while doing truth or lie challenge with daniel, and honestly he doesn't feel good about it. but he had to, so daniel can be rest assured.

"you okay?" daniel asked as he watch max with a worried expression.

max nod his head, continue to eat his salad in silence. the older man nudge his cheek with his point finger, making him stop his chewing and stare at him instead. daniel shot him with a big smile, showing his pearly white teeth.

"you need to smile more." he said.

but how can he smile more when the reason he smile is him, and he is away now.

"what if i don't want to?" max said.

"then i'll have to come to you every racing week to remind you." he said, giving him the wide grins he love so much.

i would love that, thank you.

"oi, ricciardo! its time to go." nico shouted, earning few head turns from some redbull crew who enjoyed their lunch in peace.

some redbull crew shouted back, saying that daniel is theirs now, and nico let out a barking laugh.

"that's my cue." daniel said.

"oh, yeah."

before he left, he take off his cap. max watch slightly confused at the older one, he watch as the older man stand up and walk to him. and what comes next was something he didn't expect.

daniel had taken max's hat off, putting it on his head while he put his hat on max's head. daniel adjust the strap of the hat and look down at max with that tender look, patting his head as he finish.

"a bit of happy color here to brighten your day." he said, walking backward as he adjust max's cap on his head. he shot him a wink as he run back to nico's side.

nico raised his eyebrow as daniel walk closer to him, pointing the hat. daniel just shrug his shoulder as he slung his arm around nico's shoulder, walking together. max watch him with mouth slightly ajar.

"fuck..." max silently cursed as he pull the hat down, trying his best to hid his flushed face with that hideous yellow cap.

he hate how daniel got him feeling all nervous without even trying.

he love hate that man so much.

the 2019 season went by like a blur for max. lewis had won another world championship, adding 6th trophy to his collection. and max is on 3rd position on the championship standing. he heard that daniel got into 9th position.

max knew that 9th is not enough for daniel, it will never be enough. the boy wonder–who fell rather ungracefully–would not accept 9th place to redeem himself.

and so there he was, standing near the renault garage. far enough for the crew to not notice him but close enough that he can see daniel's car, while almost all of the grid celebrate lewis's 6th wins.

"whatcha' doin?" alex said, standing still behind max as he whispering to max.

max jumped a little before turning his body to face the taller man.

"holy shit–stop sneaking up on me!" max answer, hand on his chest

alex let out a giggle before move to stand beside the poor dutchman, redbull on his hand. he quirk an eyebrow at the man before staring at renault garage.

the pit crews and engineer team seems to working on daniel's car, checking and doing some inspection. alex clicked his tongue.

"poor man went from riding a rocket ship to a family car," he said. "no wonder he look pissed."

"you saw daniel?"

"no, but lando did. he saw daniel screaming with his helmet on. its like 2018 all over again he said."

"oh, yeah."

max fidget with his fingers, biting his lower lips. the 2018 japan q3 was daniel last straw and he remember, all of the world remember. and boy he remember how everything went downhill from that point on.

"i mean i would scream too if my team keep screwing me up. or worse, if other driver screw me over." alex said, took a sip of his redbull.

"but you're not that type of person, no? you hardly swear." max asked, turning his body to watch alex.

"no, but i would cry myself to sleep after that though, that for sure."

he didn't expect that answer from the thai, and he burst into laughter letting out a high-pitched noises as his hands closing his mouth. alex let out a giggle through his straw, also didn't expect that reaction from max.

"are you guys looking for daniel?"

both max and alex turn their head, their laugh had stop. nico watch with amused look on his face at the two redbull drivers as he fold his arm in front of his chest.

"well, that's the plan," alex sheepishly said. "do you know where he is?"

the older blue-eyed man and the younger one seems to sizing each other up, exchanging a silent threat to each other. alex in other hand is too busy looking around to notice, trying his best to find the curly aussie. nico nod his head as he point to the direction he last saw daniel. max eyebrows furrowed and alex tilted his head in confusion.

"he went to our garage?" alex asked as he stare at the german in disbelief.

"horner took him." nico answer, shrugging his shoulder.

the younger redbull driver let out an 'ah' sounds, suddenly what nico said make sense. well christian horner fancy daniel, of course that man would cheer the aussie. 2019 season with renault had been rough for daniel and horner knew that he need a few pats on the back.

now that he thought about it, max sometimes see horner as a threat. then he realize how stupid that sound when he knew horner treat daniel like his oldest son.

but now it seems like he need to worry about certain german in the game. he had been watching how close nico and daniel from afar, highkey jealous at the interaction. he also have notice a few times nico give him a smirk everytime he and daniel sharing a bromance moments. max starting to dislike that man.

nico shot max with a small smirk as pat him on the shoulder. "goodluck finding him. it was nice talking to you guys, see you at the party." he said as he wave at the duo, walking to renault's garage.

alex wave back at the german with a smile on his face before returning his gaze to max, who keep staring at nico's back. alex sure that if max have a laser-eyes, nico's head had already turn into pulp right now.

"should we go now?" alex nudge him with his shoulder, trying to distract max from nico.

"yeah, lets go." max said, already walking towards their garage.

well that was something.

they didn't find daniel on their garage, instead they were greeted by sebastian vettel, which is also suprising but make sense? vettel used to drive for redbull after all although now he drive for the italian team. while alex was excited to talk to sebastian, max can't share the same excitement.

"sebastian, what a surprise!" alex said, pratically buzzing with excitement.

sebastian let out a chuckle, his blond hair bounce a little when albono hug him. he pat the rookie in the back before letting go.

"hope you don't mind me staying. i need to talk to the big man." he said, voice laced with a german accent.

"please, you are always welcome here. or anywhere basically," alex said as he give the older man a smile. "have you met christian yet?"

"yes he have." helmut said, walking to the trio with a smile on his face. christian was following him, not far behind.

"oh you're talking to the big men. i'm out of here." alex said as he raised his hands, slithering away from the room. "christian please don't replace me with sebastian!" alex shouted once he out of their sight, and horner let out a laugh.

"interesting kid, huh? he seems to be shy at the beginning but his personality starting to show." horner said.

sebastian nod in agreement as he give him a smile. max clear his throat as he stand there awkwardly.

should he leave?

should he stay?

either way he wait for his cue.

"are you looking for daniel?" horner asked and max raised an eyebrow. "if so, he's back to his hotel room."

"i'm sorry?"

"i said daniel is back to his hotel room, you can find him there." horner said as he give max the name of the hotel daniel staying in with the room number.

"i-"

"go, he need a company. and mine won't be very helpful, poor man almost cried when i invite him here. so i send him home, he looks exhausted." horner pat the young man before turning his body to talk to sebastian and helmut.

ah. he knew.

"thank you christian." max politely thank him.

and so he bid them a farewell as he walk to his room, and sebastian watch with a smile on his face.

"its webber-vettel all over again, huh?" sebastian said. and horner laugh.

"trust me, it is worse." horner said.

max is standing at the front of the elevator, playing with the hem of his rb polo shirt as he wait for the door to be opened.

he had asked the receptionist to take him to daniel's room since he doesn't have any access card, although the receptionist almost refuse. but after seeing max's worried eyes and hearing his pleads she nod her head.

when the door was open, the receptionist simply tap her card as max push the button on the 9th floor. and he was thankful that the receptionist didn't follow him because max need his time alone to calm himself.

what should he said to comfort daniel?

he should've bring gifts for daniel earlier.

what if daniel doesn't want to see him?

worse, what if daniel is in there with another person? a woman?

before max even had a chance to back off, the door open with a ding, making him jumped out of his trance. he let out a nervous sigh as he walk toward daniel's room.

and now suddenly he was standing, face facing the door as his finger hovering at the bell button.

but even before max can push the bell, the door open in front of him, and max watch with suprised look on his face.

daniel look like a mess, in short brief and plain white t-shirt that hug his body perfectly, hair messy–cleary tussled. his eyes were red and watery. his nose also in the same color.

oh he had been crying.

"the receptionist call and told me that you'll be here." daniel said, voice hoarse as if the man had not drink for a month.

"sorry for coming uninvited. i have beers." max said as he show him a pack of beers in his hand.

daniel let out a chuckle, his chest tremble as he open his door wider, inviting the younger one inside.

the room is surprisingly tidy, the bed cover are the only messy thing in the room. max had expect daniel to trash around the room but maybe daniel is too tired to do so, or maybe because it is daniel and not him.

max sat down on the bed as he watch daniel fetch something from the fridge. damn that man even look better in his short brief and that plain t-shirt that shows his back muscle with the dim lighting of his room. he tried his best to not drooling over the aussie right now.

"i only have sliced fruits, is it okay?" daniel said, breaking the silence.

"its okay... i'm fine." max answer, the pack of beers sat nicely on his lap.

the aussie turn his body, giving him the mixed fruit to the young dutch. max took the container, mouthing a small thank you and daniel return with a small smile, ruffling his hair before taking the pack of beers off his lap.

he put the pack on the table and open it, taking a can of beer then sitting down beside max, thigh touching. max silently stare down at their thighs (more of daniel's and his tattoos), face redden at the close proximity. then he turn his face to watch daniel downing the beer.

"are you okay?" max asked.

"m' fine." daniel answer.

but max knew that daniel had lied to him. he knew that he is, in fact, not fine. he knew that daniel knew that he can see right through him. so he just stare at him silently.

talk to me, daniel.

daniel let out a sigh, cradling the can of beer on his hand. his hand is trembling and max can see that clearly. so he did the only thing he knew.

he took daniel's right hand, bringing it to his lap. max intertwined their hand, as he calmly rub it. daniel shuddered at the touch. yes physical touch are something that they are not foreign about, but something about it feel different.

it feels more, intimate.

daniel watch their hands in silence, his tremors slowly fade away. then, he peel off his gaze from their hands to max's face, watching at how soft his gaze at their intertwined hands is. he studied his face, how his lashes fluttered a little as daniel squeeze his hand tighter.

"better?" max asked.

"yeah."

"good."

max–finally muster up a courage–turn his head to face daniel. once again after few moons, blue meet honey color. he held his breath when daniel's eyes wander from his eyes, to his nose, and finally to his lips. daniel give him a small smile.

"i never notice that." daniel said

"notice what?"

daniel's free hand softly cradling max's jaw, thumbing at his upper lip.

"that.." he said, face inching closer.

oh.

oh.

"my–my mole?" max asked, trying his best to not melt and lean into his touch.

"your beautiful mole, yes," daniel whisper as he stop midway, nose almost bumping to max's. "you are so beautiful, it hurts." he finished.

max feel dizzy. he only let out a nervous chuckle as he look away from him, free hand hiding his-now red-face. max was not sure if its really daniel or he currently daydreaming about him, again.

it's unfair, no? what daniel did to him is unfair.

"wha-what are you saying? me? beautiful?" max ramble, still looking away.

"you are max. your beautiful ocean eyes especially."

"s-stop saying such nonsense, i'm not."

"but you are, and i'm not a liar."

max let out a cough. he need to get away from daniel, he can't hold it together any longer. he took his hand back, then standing up. this man is dangerous, too dangerous.

"i'm thirsty, do you have water-"

max feel his body shifted, he let out a gasp. daniel had yanked his arm towards his direction, making him stumble onto him. max's eyes widened when daniel open his legs, pulling max even closer to him. he feel daniel wrap his hands around his torso, burying his face on his stomach.

"dan-"

"m' sorry."

the choked voice of daniel broke his heart even more. he touch his curly hair slowly and he feel daniel's hold getting tighter around him. daniel let out a muffled sobs, his shoulder are trembling.

he finally letting go of his emotion.

turns out the happiest man on the grid was not the happiest all the time.

max warp his hands around daniel's head, body a little slouched as he held the man. and daniel desperately clawing and fisting his polo shirt, almost screaming onto him.

max is sure his polo is now drenched in tears, but he doesn't care. he care about daniel, only him.

i love you.

...

[agattthaa]

Promise?

Paring: Beckett Harrington/Eli (F!MC)

Word Count: 1.544

Summary: In the middle of what could be the end of everything, the only thing she could trust was Beckett.

I miss him so impossibly much, so I am posting this old thing.

The heavy door closed behind her back and she simply stood still while Beckett paced around the room, looking at the large bookcases searching for god knows what.

She didn't need to know him as well as she did to know that he was doing his best to hide what he was feeling and she didn't want to think about the fact that he was doing it for her.

He was always like that ever since she knew him. Always trying to hide anything negative that could ever come from him. Any defect, any weakness, any bad feeling.

Once he had told her that Katrina was a very positive person, always being optimistic in face of any difficulty, and that it was something that his parents deeply appreciated and complemented her about.

Either she was a saint or Becketts's family really was perfect, that she didn't know, what she did know was that he was about to create a hole in the ground considering how much he paced around those bookshelves.

Surely books were capable of teaching very important things, but Eli really doubted that he would find a “How to defeat a psychopath child murdered 101” in this small room, or anywhere really.

He turned around to look at her when she gave a tired sigh, more nervous than he had been the entire night, which only made her sigh deeper.

-You are going to make a hole in the ground, Beckett. Just sit down.

-I just need to find a book that can perhaps help us, Eli. Everything is alright.

She simply pointed towards the big armchair, looking at him, almost pleading.

-Please.

And he simply followed the instructions, as always, unable to deny any of her requests. She simply followed him, sitting down sideways on his legs and burying her head on the juncture between his neck and his shoulder, slowly breathing him in.

-We should be getting ready.

She took her head from it’s hiding place when she heard his voice, the sadness crept into her face until she saw the red tinting his cheeks.

-Do you not like it? Should I get up?

His only answer at that moment was to place his hand on the small of her back and pull her closer to him, making her give him a smirk and making his cheeks almost maroon.

Perhaps they should have changed before going there, her dress was not making her very comfortable while she was almost laying on his legs, her torso completely rested on his and her legs above the armchair’s arms. Still, the way he softly ran his fingers up and down her back gave her all the comfort she could ever need.

-I will never not like having you on my arms, Eli. I just believe one of those books are bound to help us. Even if there's just a magick that helps to calm you down a little, I know that I have actually done something good.

-There’s no need for any spells or anything of the sort. You are calming me down just fine. -He placed his hand on her cheek, making her rest her face into it almost like a cat, closing her eyes and completely leaning into his touch. -I don't think you understand how much you mean to me, Beckett.

-That's utter nonsense. If anything, it's more likely you are the one unaware.

-Then tell me.

-Eli…

She opened her eyes, honey golden meeting metal gray. She could see that he didn't want to talk about it, at least not now, because she could see his eyes apprehensivily looking towards the bookcases and into her eyes again. He leaned forward, kissing her on her small elevation on her nose a little under the middle point between her eyes.

-Do you not wish to talk about it when we come back? It'll be another reason to return.

She placed her hand on his face, rubbing her thumb against his cheeks and counting his freckles, maybe for the last time.

-I don't know if we'll have the opportunity to talk about this after now. -She placed her thumb over his lips when she noticed that he was about to interrupt her. -He is the most powerful attuned in the world. Capable of controlling life and death. It would be too optimistic of me to assume that we'd simply win that easily over him. That's why I have something to ask you.

She looked deeply into his eyes, her finger still on his lips, but she was no loger leaning against him. Now her back was perfectly aligned and straight. He simply nodded to her making her give him a sad smile.

-I will do my very best to kill that psycho and comeback. But if I'm unable to, I want you to grab Atlas and our friends and run.

He looked at her completely unsettled and shaked his head, taking her hand from his face and holding it on hers.

-Do you take me as such a weak man that I'll watch the woman I love dying and then ran away?

She wanted to cry. To melt on his arms. To run away from all of this. She wished to wake up from that nightmare. To wake up on her bed covered by her thinck blankets and by him while she listened Atlas very loud snores coming from Shreya's room.

But she couldn't.

She'd never know peace until that man was dead, and Zeph needed them. It was her fault he was taken and she would pay for it.

-No. I think you are the strongest and most resourceful besides Atlas and me. But there's one thing that you are more than the two of us. Logical, rational and the one more capable of keeping your feelings in check. Atlas isn't. If I die, that will break her. That's why I am asking you that. Because you are the one I love, the one I trust the most, the one who also has a sister that he loves. That's why I'm asking you to save my little sister, my only blood family who's alive, and the friends that we love so much. Please, Beckett. Please.

His eyes glistened with tears that he refused to let run. The ones that carried grief for the woman that was still breathing into his arms.

He kissed her face all around. Her forehead, her eyes, her temple, her cheeks and her lips before pulling apart to look into her eyes.

-You will survive, Eli Russel Sollaris. We will finish the year and my grades will be so much bigger than yours that you will loose you spot as favorite from all the professors. -She let out a wet laugh to that, clearly remembering his face when Professor Englund called her his favorite student in front of him. -Then we'll get our vacation and I'll get myself one of those tuneless cephphones so we can talk during the entire summer, because I cannot even stand the thought of spending a day on my life not hearing your voice. I will introduce you to my family and I also want to meet yours, because anyone important to you is also important to me. Then we will comeback to here, and I'll hold you hand and kiss you all the time and put curses to anyone that looks at you for too long. And I will sleep every single day with you on my arms and wake up to your kisses. Forever.

The tears streamed down her face, and he kissed every single one of them away while the smile on her lips came back to life. The first time it had happened ever since Zephyr had been taken.

-That sounded too much like a proposal for two people that are not even dating yet, Harrington.

He smirked at her, rubbing his thumb on her cheek.

-Funny you saying that, because a little bird told me that you called me your boyfriend in front of some students in Professor Kontos’ class.

-Would you say that little bird is about 1.63cm tall and insanely rich?

-I would say that that little bird said that you were almost green with jealousy and that the little bird was scared that you were going to throw a fireball at someone.

-Nonsense, I only do that to you.

He let out a loud laugh, hugging her closer to him and rubbing his nose against her cheek.

-You should know that you have no reason to be jealous. That I am completely yours. Your friend. Your boyfriend. Anything you want from me Eli. Anything.

She rested herself on him again, placing her head on his shoulder and sighing.

-Do you promise then?

His silence only lasted a couple seconds, but it felt like an eternity. The entire room felt cold as he sighed and rested his own head above hers.

-I promise you, Eli. I promise that… if it gets down to it, I'll comply to your wish.

She smiled to herself, knowing that he couldn't see it, and hugged him closer.

-I love you, nerd.

-And I love you a lot more, my sunlight.

And then, they parted towards an inescapable future.

[synthwavecryptid]

I took a shower and after my last post I had so many sad thoughts about rabbit Dutch while I was in there so now I’m making them yalls problem so don’t go into the read more unless you also want to have brainworms about Dutch’s scrambled egg mentality and mommy issues

Like it’s not as uncommon as folks think for new parents to struggle to bond with a new baby, usually through no fault of their own. Being stressed or overwhelmed can impact it, as can preexisting conditions, and postpartum depression is brutal.

Just. Dutch being resigned to the idea he won’t have any offspring with Hosea, a little sad about it even when he himself doesn’t know if he wants any in the first place, suddenly getting his world upended with a gift he’s on the fence about.

Absolutely heartsick over it being a cryptic pregnancy, so he never had the opportunity to come to terms with it, to get attached and start looking forward to it, not even the chance to make a choice if this is something they can or want to do. All of that taken away, replaced with a sudden surprise that isn’t necessarily bad, but not necessarily good either. Doesn’t help that it’s just the one kit, not the two or three or even four that’s standard. He should be excited, over the moon even, but instead he’s tied up in shock, some fear, and the strangest sense of failure. So overwhelmed he can’t quite get around to connecting with that elation he knows has gotta be buried in him somewhere. And then that just… snowballs to proper postpartum, bless his heart.

He does get better (mostly), loves Arthur so much it hurts sometimes, but that really scrambled his mental state and he never really gets over it. Probably made him an awkward, hot and cold parent for a while; adoring and engaged and all about it for a bit, then hands-off and a little frigid and borderline dissociative for a bit, and then repeating with adoring. A cycle he’s aware of (because I’m sure he and Hosea have had rows about it before), but he just. Doesn’t know how to stop it, or fix it.

Which makes me double sad thinking about how maybe a combination of things, including Dutch’s erratic temperament, possibly pushed Hosea away in Arthur’s teen years. Brought Bessie into the picture, a genuinely lovely lady who maybe Hosea could have more kits with, give Arthur some half siblings, because if it worked once it may work again (despite the fact that after Arthur, Dutch’s heats never took again). But that just puts another nail in the coffin of Dutch’s multifaceted mommy issues, because now he sees himself as a further failure and will act out to compensate.

Cue Dutch bringing home John, this scraggly ass orphan, ostensibly because saving a child from a hanging is the right thing to do, but also because he has Dutch’s coloring and Hosea’s hare attributes and Dutch wants to make a statement. Wants to be the big Robin Hood putting his finger up to the law, but also wants to prove he can still grow their family, still has worth as Hosea’s doe. He’s a little unconventional but that’s no reason to look elsewhere.

ANYWAYS IDK IM INJURED OVER THEM

[starg1rlie]

𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 ㅤㅤPROLOGUE: The Baby | (MLIST)

⟡ rating. slight romance + angst ( adolescent audience )

⟡ summary. ( the re-written version of "better late than never" is finally here! i know some people have asked about it, since i've deleted it but it's BACK NOW!! ) not all fairy tales end in a happily-ever-after. take (Y/N) and ajax for example; they had the love story of a lifetime and yet it's now all water under the bridge. ten years after the two of them split up, it was suggested that (Y/N) spend a summer vacation over in snezhnaya to give their son and the father some time to bond together and enjoy a relaxing break. however, that's easier said than done.

notes. you have no idea how long this post has been sitting in my drafts, oml. hey, yep, this is leo here, formerly known online as tarluscious (or, leo, as my moots know me), here to talk a bit about the remake of this delightful series. ever since i started publishing more and more chapters of this series back when it was still a "fly by the seat of my pants" project, i wasn't happy with the final results. i mean, hell, who's ever happy with the first attempt? and i've been meaning to re-write this series for so long, but i never found the time to. when i took my hiatus a couple of months ago, i was a little sad that i wouldn't get the chance to write BLTN over again. however, my friend, who now runs this blog (hyokkun) with me, suggested that they might re-write it, and we came to a happy conclusion that the both of us should work on this project together. so here we are, with the prologue. yayy. just wanted to say that what this means is, hyokkun has added their own inputs into this series, while i, leo, am the main author of it. so, all that being said, i hope you thoroughly enjoy this re-written version. please note that some things may be different from the last time you've read this series, and that's because changes has been made to fit the new plot accordingly. reblogs and likes are appreciated ! | wc. 1,542 words ( 8,566 characters )

⟡ feat. childe / tartaglia x female! reader ( she / her pronouns are used )

ㅤㅤA cry split through the peaceful silence of the hospital. A baby, swaddled in warm, cuddly blankets had begun wailing, even though he was cradled within the arms of his mother. He kept bawling, even as the mother hummed a lullaby, even as she rocked him back and forth in her arms, even as she cupped one side of his delicate face and whispered 'It's going to be okay' over and over again.

ㅤㅤA new wave of sickness passed over (Y/N) as she stared down at her stomach, imagining what it would be like bigger, pondering over the process it takes for a baby to develop within her. It both simultaneously intrigued and terrfied her. She couldn't imagine popping out a baby from her unmentionables, let alone having it stuck in her womb for months. Yet as she began to wonder, a new question came into light: would she give up this baby? Could she?

ㅤㅤPeople say that you don't really have a choice when you're young; no one's capable of raising a child when they're barely just a young adult, and yet, she could name a few people she knew right off the bat who were doing just fine with parenting. But the real question was if she was ready for this. Be it ready to give it up or ready to endure the consequences, it didn't matter. She just had to know for sure if she was ready.

ㅤㅤShe still remembered the conversation that had went down only a few weeks ago. She refers to it as a 'discussion', but really, it was a full-out argument....A migraine had formed underneath her temple and had buried its heels in deep, causing a resonating pounding to echo within her head, messing with her already tangled up thoughts. And yet, that day's memories remained untouched. If anything, it was tugged free of the mess and pulled into the light.

ㅤㅤ"What the fuck? What the fuck?"

ㅤㅤ"Saying 'what the fuck' over and over again isn't going to make the situation anymore better than it already is, Ajax," (Y/N) interrupted, breathing out a slightly exasperated sigh. She'd been scared out of mind about telling her boyfriend about the news and this was exactly why: he'd take it badly. He always took life-changing news badly, unless it involved travelling, free food, or money. She'd grown used to his childish behaviour ever since the two started going out, but right now was not the time to act like a child.

ㅤㅤ"Then what will make this better? Huh? Please elaborate on that for me," Ajax replied sarcastically, throwing his hands up in the air. He'd been pacing for the past five minutes since (Y/N) had spilled the beans about her pregnancy. Anymore pacing and he'd pace a trench right through their apartment floor. "Because I really don't understand how anything can make this better."

ㅤㅤ"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that you're going to be a father? Haven't you been going on and on about wanting to have a son one day?" (Y/N) retorted, patience fizzling.

ㅤㅤ"When I'm thirty, not twenty-four!"

ㅤㅤ"What's a few years early? If anything, you'd get your dream quicker," she mumbled under her breath, absentmindedly flipping through the channels on the cable.

ㅤㅤAjax leapt forward and snatched the remote out of her hands, slamming it roughly onto the glossy surface of their coffee table, one that he'd insisted he put together himself, even though the table had come from IKEA, and he knew nothing on how to read instructions in Swedish. That little memory caused a tiny pang to go through her heart, enough to make it ache just a little bit. Please, she prayed, please let us get through this together.

ㅤㅤ"You're not listening! Do you honestly think that I'm ready for this? That you're ready for this? We're still in college for God's sake, do you expect us to be whizzes at parenthood?"

ㅤㅤ(Y/N) barely managed to withhold a snort at his sarcasm, but politely shook her head. She knew deep down inside that she wasn't ready to be a mother, let alone have a child at such a young age. What would her friends think? What would her parents think?

ㅤㅤ"What, then, I 'spose you expect us to waltz right in and get comfortable in our positions as parents, right? We'll be fine, so long as we manage to balance a baby into our already hectic and crazy lives, right? Just plop it right in between work and college and paying bills, hm?"

ㅤㅤ"Right," she repeated.

ㅤㅤAjax paused his pacing for a moment. "Do you understand the concept of sarcasm?" he asked incredulously.

ㅤㅤ(Y/N) went silent, seemingly contemplating whether she'd been too hasty to cast in her answer earlier.

ㅤㅤ"Whatever. It doesn't matter." His jaw tensed and for a moment, he looked as though he might punch something. Not (Y/N), heavens no, but something. Possibly the fridge (poor thing; it never did anything to deserve this sort of abuse). "What matters is that you're pregnant and we're still in college. We're students, we can barely make it past out deadlines, let alone manage a child." He sounded almost tired, and for the first time in a while, she just now noticed the bags under his eyes, and the tired croak to his voice, taking the place of the usual charming lilt he normally had. How many times had she come home from her part-time job at the laundromat to see him passed out on the exact same coffee table they were currently in front of, drooling all over his calculus homework? How many times had she come back from her lectures to find a pristine sink and an empty fridge? Ajax was incredibly vain and conscious about his self-image, that he took great lengths to make himself look presentable each day. But ever since his senior year in college started, his schedue started going downhill and he never had the time to do any of the things he normally did to take care of his body. He hadn't eaten proper food for days, and has been liviing off of coffee (and her fancy vanilla oatmilk creamer) and Doritos for God knows how long.

ㅤㅤ"What are we going to do?" (Y/N) asked finally, voice timid and quiet, as if anything louder might break the fragility of this scene.

ㅤㅤWhen Ajax looked up, she had expected his face to be sad, almost regretful for saying such things about the situation, but instead she found his gaze hard and penetrating, almost menacing. "We can't look after a baby right now, (Y/N), you know that."

ㅤㅤAnd the truth was, she did know it. She just chose not to believe it. But the way he worded it, the way he said it, seemed to hint at something. Something that made waves of nausea roll through the pits of her stomach.

ㅤㅤ"You're not suggesting...."

ㅤㅤ"An abortion," Ajax finished quietly, gaze trained on a coffee stain on the carpet.

ㅤㅤ"Ajax, no. No. We can't give the baby up before we've even tried. That's just cruel. This is your child, possibly the son you said you wanted, and you're just going to throw him away? Let him die before he gets a chance to play on a soccer team, like you did? Before he even gets a chance to see the two people who made him?" Your voice broke at those last few words and before you knew it, tears were streaming down your face in thick, wet trails. "You might be giving up on him, but I'm never letting go."

ㅤㅤAjax inhaled sharply, air hissing through clenched teeth as he breathed out. "We aren't ready for this, (Y/N)."

ㅤㅤ She knew he was right. She knew it in her heart and in her brain. But some part of her wanted to keep this unborn baby that was developing within her stomach right now. Some part of her wanted to know the happiness of being a parent, a mother.

ㅤㅤShe didn't want to follow through with this. She didn't want to let the baby die. And yet...

ㅤㅤ"Miss (L/N)? You can come in now. Dr. Li's ready for you," a voice called, interrupting (Y/N)'s train of thought. She looked up, one hand resting on her tummy, the other clenched around a cell phone. The screen was still on, a barrage of messages (most likely from her family and friends) lighting up the screen with soft 'pings'.

ㅤㅤShe breathed in deeply, exhaling slowly, a breathing trick she'd learned from online to calm her nerves down.

ㅤㅤFinally, she spoke.

ㅤㅤ"Ah, sorry. I'm afraid I've changed my mind. If it's alright with you, I'll be canceling my appointment."

ㅤㅤThe nurse hesitated for a moment before nodding along. She obviously was not paid enough to barge into patients' lives, so she (wisely) kept her nose in her own business. "Of course, miss. I'll let him know you'll be leaving. Have a lovely rest of your day."

ㅤㅤ(Y/N) nodded along before waddling out of the waiting room, feeling giddy and deliriously light from the weight that had just been lifted from her shoulders. Ajax would be upset over this, yes, but it would be worth it. She could feel it in her bones.

📮 tagging. @kiryoutann, @ajaxstar, @mobiussdarling, @samarill, @dinolvrrr, @messyserver, @xxfrostiee, @enviouspeanut, @ehddsnys, @maaarshieee, @dazaiscum, @mochicurls21, @shinobuko, @iiyumii, @meiraloves2dmen, @retiredmommylover, @electronicphilosopherflower. if your user is highlighted in BOLD that means your current URL does not match the one you inputted in the form. fill out this form if you want to be tagged

[alphabetbill]

Macabre [ HEMLOCK GROVE ] - Chapter 5

~ description ~

A werewolf whose only skill is running from his fears, a half-upir with no idea of the true darkness lying inside of him, and a girl found alive in the woods months after her mysterious death.

Some secrets in Hemlock Grove should have just stayed buried. In a town that isn't so sleepy after all, monsters of all kinds are wide awake under the surface, crawling their way up.

~ warnings~

This story will contain mature and heavy themes that may involve potentially explicit content, gore and murder, talk of kidnapping and stalking victims, animal death, supernatural/paranormal/religious themes and trauma, any other themes not covered in the general description will probably be tagged here at the start of the chapters that other significant warnings apply to.

A list will be linked here upon completion and upload of each chapter:

Cicada and the Snake

Chapter 1 . Chapter 2 . Chapter 3 . Chapter 4 . Chapter 5 . Chapter 6 . Chapter 7

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c h a p t e r    f i v e .

Roman Godfrey

<<>>

ROMAN FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THAT JUDE WAS DEAD. It came like a pin drop, like a sudden realisation of something his brain had refused to let him acknowledge before now. It felt much like a sudden jolt, like the ceiling had fallen, like a sudden blow to the gut that ripped the air from his lungs like a parent snatching a toy from a misbehaving child. 

Staring down a tunnel of trees, he felt something shift in his chest, something that squirmed around, rotten and sickly. All of a sudden he didn't want to do this, but Peter was already out of the car and Roman wasn't about to pussy out and leave him to walk this trail alone.

As he got out of the car, lingering at the start of a dingy forest trail, it hit him in the face as though a wall of air had slammed up, begging him to stop, begging him not to go any further into the trees.

He had not been expecting the sadness that came with standing here in this moment, not the terror or the disgust. Somewhere along this trail, his best friend's body had been left to rot. It left him disturbingly interested in a single question- was she still alive when she reached that ditch?

He thought about the dreams, the woods, the torch, the deer. He wondered if she had felt like he did, trapped in place, surrounded by an unseen enemy, unable to run until it was too late. He wondered if it was quick.

He swallowed thickly and followed Peter like a lost dog into the night.

It was just like the dreams.

Pitch black on all sides with the occasional glimmer of town lights over far-off back fences. The reserve trail began on one side of town, and cut all the way through to the other, separating the trailer park from the rest of civilization with a good few hundred metres between, establishing a clear divide between those who belonged and those who didn't. The Godfrey Estate was on a hill, a spectator, floating above it all, removed from everything and always watching. 

The rhythm of the crickets was jangly and distorted as though they were screaming over the top of each other, like a broken record or a scratched CD. The moon was a claw in the sky and not enough light could tear through the foggy pine needle canopy, so they ended up walking in near-complete darkness.

Roman tried to ignore the ball of ice in his gut, the way his skin prickled every time Peter’s flashlight swept through the underbrush.

"So what are we looking for exactly?" he asked, trying to squash out the tremor in his voice.

"Not sure," Peter said again, the same answer he had given the past four times Roman had asked the question but forgot he asked it. "A clue, feeling, sign, scent. Anything that just feels off".

"I don't know about you but this whole thing feels off man," Roman answered as he rummaged through his coat pocket, "might wanna be more specific."

His fingers shook and he almost dropped the cigarette as he lifted it to his lips, fumbling to get the lighter working.

They found the ditch after about twenty minutes. The police tape was gone, but flowers remained there against a nearby tree with a score mark on it. The cheap fake ones that looked nice but meant nothing, not the real ones. Jude didn't even like flowers. They died every time she tried to grow them, she always thought they brought her bad luck. 

The two boys stood up on the ridge and looked down. 

"Fuck!" Roman cursed, stumbling back, his heart in his mouth.

He was staring at Jude's body. 

She was lying on her side, her auburn hair muddy and knotted. Those wide eyes stared back at him but saw nothing anymore, blood spilling, maggots worming through grey flesh. A jagged sob tore from his throat when it flashed into view. 

It vanished when he blinked his eyes open again. Like a glitch, a snag in the folds of reality, she was gone. 

He did not want to blink again.

"You okay?" Peter asked.

"You...you mean to tell me you didn't just fucking see that?" Roman paced, dragging a hand over his face. He sucked on the cigarette, his heartbeat skittering. He wanted out he wanted out. Away from that fucking ditch, away from where he would have to see. 

He felt sick, and his hand fell to his stomach as though to soothe himself. 

"What? See what?" Peter placed his hands on his shoulders as if to shake him out of it. 

"She was here she was-" he gulped. The ditch was still empty when he looked back down. "She was just lying there. For a second I swear to god I saw her."

"I've seen her before too. The first day you dropped me home I saw her sitting in your car," Peter told him. 

They looked at each other in silence.

The shared dreams and the shared visions. 

"Shee-it."

"Shee-it."

Roman and Peter exchanged a tense look before Peter dropped his gaze, searching the ground as though the answers would materialize in the dirt beneath his boots. He moved a few steps away from the ditch and crouched, combing his flashlight over the area, inspecting every twig, every scuff in the mud. Roman kept his distance, standing with his back to the ditch just in case he saw it again.

"The grass is flat right there," Peter said, rising from a crouched position. He jumped down into the ditch, the ridge at about knee height, and stepped up onto the other side where the grass blades were crumpled, crushed in a distinct line that led further into the trees. He gestured for Roman to follow, and he clenched his jaw, hesitating before hopping down and following Peter’s lead.

They didn't go very far along the path of flattened foliage, just far enough that they could still see the path behind them if they turned their flashlights back in that direction. The further they moved, the more far apart the trees seemed to be, the more darkness that swelled between them.

Eventually Peter smacked his flashlight as its beam began spluttering in a weak glow, before it died. 

“It’s dead,” he muttered, shaking it. 

Roman flicked his own flashlight off and back on, but it only gave a dim flash before it went dark too. Both of them stood frozen, his breathing shallow. "Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me," he cursed, anger coinciding with his growing fear.

He strained his eyes, peering into the darkness, but there was nothing—no movement, no sound, just the dense weight of shadows pressing in around them. 

He saw them, outlined only by the moon straggling through the canopy.

A line of deer. They stood silently and still in a small bit of clearing, staring out from between the trees with blank, glassy eyes. Five of them, their bodies rigid, all too aware of the two boys sharing their presence. Beside one of them, standing by a doe's legs was a smaller shape—a small fawn.

Roman took a step back, his heel crunching against a twig, and the animals darted off once again and back into the trees as though that moment of limbo, that moment in which the deer had seemed so grotesquely aware, had never occurred.

They made their way back to the walking trail and the flashlights stuttered to life again, neither of them in possession of the words to explain it as they walked back the way they came. Something in the air was telling them to leave, and for the first time in his life Roman was happy to listen.

When the two of them got back to the car, Jude was standing beside it.

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mmm. not sure how i feel about this one.