explorevenus · 2 days ago
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my soul to keep ♡ vampire!leon kennedy x virgin!reader
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nsfw (18+) - minors. dni or i will call ur mom. and also the cops
word count: 6.4k
tags/warnings: romantic vampire leon, virgin/innocent f!reader, leon turns reader into a vampire, some religious allegory, bloodplay (obviously), gravedigging, some gory descriptions but not a whole lot, one instance of overeating (reader's learning, leave her alone </3), manipulation kinda, praise, fingering, p in v, creampie
description: leon creeps into your village at night for a quick drink, only to find himself infatuated with an angel like you. it's a good thing he possesses the means to preserve you for himself.
a/n: yes this is the vampire leon fic i started like a year ago don't look at me <33 i'm just proud of myself for getting it finished before halloween this year AAAAAAAA
divider by @saradika-graphics !!!!
my masterlist ♡
my ao3 ♡
fic under the cut, thanks so much for reading and i hope u enjoy ;w;
-venus ♡
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The last time Leon remembered feeling this alive, well… he was still living, and that was a long time ago. When lonely and undead as long as Leon has been, it can be difficult to show restraint upon first contact with anything that evokes such emotion. 
But he did, for a while. You were just too cute, he thought as he stood over your slumbering body that first night. It wasn’t something he liked to make a habit of, but a light hunting season for him meant starvation through the winter, and he didn’t have much choice but to go wandering into the nearby little village for a quick bite to eat. 
Until he found you. 
You looked like a cherub sleeping there in your plush little bed, buried beneath a quilt he could only assume you made yourself. Precious, fragile. You looked especially fragile. 
And humans are so fragile, he thought. You smelled so sweet, it made his teeth ache just standing there staring at you without acting upon his festering need to sate his appetite, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He didn’t want to scare you, or worse, lose control of himself and kill you. 
He wandered silently around your little cottage in hopes of learning more about you. It was tidy but lived in, well-kept in a way that made him think you were probably a good homemaker. Your old leather boots sat by the door, dirtied by years of garden work and general wear. There was a little handmade ceramic candle holder on your bedside table, the candle in it burned nearly down to the base, and he wondered if maybe you’d held onto it because the piece was sentimental to you. Carefully arranged bouquets of flowers were strung together and hung up above the cracked window, likely to dry them out and preserve them. 
And suddenly he realized that maybe he would like to preserve a flower for himself. 
He couldn’t allow himself to feed from anyone in your village that night. If word spread around about a vicious animal attack or some other form of brutality, it would only hinder his ability to ultimately get to you, and he couldn’t risk that. Weak and delirious and ravenously hungry as he was, Leon forced himself to bid you adieu and stalk off into the night, back to his crumbling old castle in the middle of the woods… but not before leaving you a gift. 
His gift. The gift.
Your lips parted in a dreamy sigh as you slept, rolling over onto your back. He admired your face for a moment before he couldn’t take it anymore— if he didn’t leave now, you were going to become dinner, and he couldn’t have that. Hastily, he bit down on the meat of his palm and squeezed, watching as his old crimson blood bubbled up to the surface, and then he held it up over you.
Drip. Right between your rosy, plush lips. Even in your slumber your face scrunched up at the foreign taste, your heavy arm coming up to swipe at yourself like you were just trying to get your hair out of your eyes.
And just like that, he was gone, having taken his leave through the very same open window that gave him the idea. 
He wasn’t a monster, of course. He kept an eye on you as you experienced the very same pain he felt decades ago. 
The next day, you woke up later than usual feeling quite lousy. Your whole body was sore and weighty and, reasonably enough, you chalked it up to poor form while tending your garden the day before. It was an easy mistake to make from time to time, after all. But as the day dragged on, you only felt worse, so you retired to bed right after supper that evening. 
The day after that, you woke up in the early afternoon feeling awful. Your head was screaming with a migraine and your heart was beating slow and hard in your chest. You were sweating and shaking and could barely even open your eyes because the light hurt so bad. A friend stopped in to check on you after noticing how late of a start to the day you were getting, and almost as soon as she stepped in the door, she was rushing back out to the apothecary, begging the village healer to come check on you. 
The village healer loaded you up with tricks and tinctures and anything she could think of to break your fever or at least ease your pain. Dried herbs and poppyseeds and fungus ground up in the mortar and pestle, the paste slathered under your nose, on the bottoms of your feet, steeped into tea that was too hot for you to drink. None of it worked. At a loss for advice to give, the village healer urged you to drink plenty of water and rest, and to quarantine yourself. Couldn’t risk passing whatever you had to the rest of the community. 
You woke up drenched in sweat in the middle of the night and didn’t even have time to throw your quilt aside as you doubled over the side of your bed and vomited. This continued for a few moments until you could barely breathe, tears dripping from your eyes as your face reddened with strain and you inwardly resented yourself, knowing you would have to drag your sick body out of bed to clean up the mess you’d just made. You struck a match and lit the candle at your bedside and hesitantly peered down to survey the damage, only to be met with the image of your beautiful wooden floors drenched in blood. Reaching up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand yielded the same result. 
As you stared at your own blood in horror, Leon stared at you in adoration from the other side of the window. For a moment your bleary eyes caught on the glass and he wondered if you saw him, but if you did, you didn’t react. 
Even at a distance he could hear your heartbeat continuing to weaken. Soon enough you would be just like him, a beautiful preserved flower, and better yet, you couldn’t be harmed. You wouldn’t change, you wouldn’t grow, you wouldn’t die.
Although your village certainly thought you did. It was a dreary, overcast day when the village healer decided to stop in and check on you, only to find you completely lifeless and splattered with blood where you laid. She had to be the one to break it to your family that you had lost your battle with whatever illness plagued you. Leon watched from the shadows as your father lifted your limp, blood-soaked body from your bed and held you close, sobbing, hesitating to admit to himself that you were gone.
By the end of the afternoon, as the sun went down and the drizzling rain refused to let up, the entire village was standing over your grave, watching you get lowered into the soft, soggy ground. 
Once everyone had paid their respects, Leon watched them all retreat to share a drink in your honor, hushed whispers revealing just how unsettled everyone was by your untimely demise. You were so young, they said, so bright and healthy and undeserving of your fate. They wondered what it meant for themselves, and only Leon knew it didn’t mean anything at all. Your illness wasn’t going to spread because he had what he wanted now, and that was you. 
As soon as the final candle was blown out for the night, Leon took a shovel from your garden and began to dig, the metal piercing easily through the soaked earth until it revealed the handmade box you’d been laid to rest in. He popped the top off and looked at you, your arms still crossed delicately over your chest with a beaded rosary tucked beneath your palms, a pale flower in your hair. Your family didn’t need to know they’d be spending the rest of their lives praying over an empty coffin in the ground. 
Leon scooped you up into his arms, cleaned up after himself and set off into the woods with you clutched to his chest like a princess.
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It was a few days before you finally roused. Leon had barely taken his eyes off of you the entire time you slept, and admittedly, he was a bit grateful it had taken you so long, for your own sake. He watched over you and cared for you as the last of your body heat drained out and your fangs descended behind your lips. From what he remembered, that was the most painful part of the transformation, and you were lucky to have slept through the worst of it. 
When your eyes finally shot open, he could barely contain his excitement. In one swift movement you sat up on the couch, bringing one hand up to clutch at your pounding head, the other massaging your sore jaw as your worried eyes darted around the room to drink in your surroundings. Then and only then did your gaze finally land on Leon. 
The fright and confusion on your face were evident. He knew you would have a lot of questions, and he was prepared to answer them. 
“There you are, darling,” he greeted you warmly, the first words he’d ever spoken to you. “How are you feeling?”
"W-Where am I?" You rasped, throat sore and shot from vomiting up blood the other day. Once your new condition fully set in, you would heal, but for now you were still a touch miserable. "Who are you?"
“I’m Leon,” he was gentle in introducing himself, taking your cold, shaking hand in his own so he could brush a polite kiss over your knuckles, “and this is your new home.” 
You blinked slowly at him, brows furrowed as you mulled over what he meant, and you came up short. Tears welled up in your bloodshot eyes and you hesitated for a moment before asking him a question you were afraid to know the answer to; “Am I… Did I die?” 
Leon wasn’t quite sure how to answer that at first. He imagined that question being posed much later in the conversation, so it sort of caught him off guard. He took a breath and then replied gently, “Something like that, yes.” 
“Huh?” 
“Shh, don’t worry,” he whispered, kneeling on the floor beside the couch so he could get on your level, his cold, pale fingers tracing gently over your lifeless skin. “You’re safe, your family is safe, your village is safe. I’m just here to take care of you, my beloved, to guide you in this tricky space between life and death. Do you trust me?” 
Strangely enough, you did-- or, rather, you felt compelled to. 
But that didn’t make the implications of your condition any easier on you. You were such a frightened little lamb, your cheeks hollowing and your eyes glowing like rubies and your skin tone taking on more and more of a pallid quality by the day as you refused to feed. He knew you would have some difficulty with this at first— after all, you were just far too sweet to kill anything— but he also knew you would only become weaker and more agitated if you continued to starve, and perhaps more grim, you would remain stuck in this odd limbo between death and vampirism. 
He tried everything he could think of. You wouldn’t drink animal blood, from the body or in a glass, and you certainly refused human blood in either form too. Every time he broached the topic of sating your hunger you would cower away from him and shake your head, eyes screwed shut as you continued to deny the reality of your situation. Starvation brought forth only misery, that much Leon knew, misery and longing and weakness and worse, everything he didn’t want for you. 
For two weeks you pushed back on the topic, insisting that if you couldn’t truly die, you would rather starve than take the life of another. As much as it pained him to see you this way, Leon appreciated that you could be so stubborn about your morals. He just wished it wouldn’t come at the cost of your own well-being.
He left you at the castle one night to go hunting himself. It wasn’t often he’d stumble into humans in these woods, especially during the winter, but he hoped he would get lucky for himself anyway. Leon burned a few hours stalking through the trees and all he had to show for it when he returned home was a few small animals that wouldn't last him more than two light meals, but it was better than nothing, he thought.
Then he stepped through the creaking castle doors and his nose perked up to the familiar rich scent of human blood-- thick and heady in the air, cloyingly sweet and indulgent. Intoxicated by it for the moment, it didn’t really dawn on him immediately what that meant… until he followed the scent from the foyer to the living room and found you. 
You were on your knees in front of the fireplace, hunched over the writhing body of the village healer, her eyes wide and glassy as she choked out gurgled sounds of agony and clawed weakly at you to let her go. You didn’t even seem to notice Leon as he entered the room, a concerned grimace on his face, though it was accompanied by a tangible sense of relief that you were finally feeding. 
“Sweetheart,” he said lowly, causing you to blink with confusion and look up at him through your lashes, the poor village healer’s carotid still clenched tightly between your teeth. “Easy now, you’ll make yourself sick.” 
Your brows furrowed and you bit down a little bit harder, siphoning out a few final greedy gulps from the woman before dropping her from your grasp, your eyes still trained on Leon as her weak body flopped limply to the floor. His eyes softened with empathy as he looked you over, gore dribbling down your chin and the front of your white dress, your stomach puffy like an engorged tick. Now that you weren’t feeding anymore it would seem you made the same realization he had, the fog of desire clearing in your brain to make room for the shame and discomfort. With a soft whimper, you reached for him with both arms outstretched, but otherwise didn’t move. 
Leon gave you a nod of understanding before scooping you up into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as he carried you out of the parlor. “My poor baby,” he sighed softly, “It gets easier, I promise. I’m so proud of you.” 
He ran a hot bath for you and left you to soak for a while as he got to work cleaning up the mess you’d made. The village healer was barely clinging to what remained of her life, and while he was extremely tempted to nurse her back to health and keep her around to continue feeding on, he knew it would hurt you. He could already tell you hated yourself for victimizing her in the first place, the very same woman who’d tried so hard to save your life just weeks ago and who was responsible for ensuring the health of the entire village, which included your friends and family. 
So he mopped up the blood, bottled what he could and wrapped her wounds to the best of his ability before compelling her to forget, dumping her just at the edge of the trees outside the village so someone would find her in the morning.
When he returned again, tired and dirtied from hauling an unconscious woman through the woods on your behalf, you were still relaxing in the tub. The water was tinted pink from all the blood and you still looked a bit swollen in the middle, but the color was returning to your skin and the expression on your face was one of such complete exhaustion that he wasn’t sure if you were actually conscious at first, until your gaze fluttered up to meet his. 
Leon let out a deep, sweet sigh, sitting on the bench beside the porcelain clawfoot bath as he took your hand in his and whispered, “What am I going to do with you, huh?” 
“I-I’m sorry,” you said just as quietly, bottom lip quivering as you continued to drift back down from your blood-induced daze. “I d-didn’t want to h-hurt her…” 
“Shh, shh, I know, darling,” his other hand came forward to pet gently through your wet hair. “She’s going to be alright, I made sure of that. But this can’t happen again, okay? I’ll help you get control of your urges, I promise, but you have to listen to me.” 
You were nodding along as he spoke, clutching his hand and shivering in the hot bath. Even transformed you were still fragile. Leon wanted nothing more than to care for you like the fine china you were.
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It was fun watching you learn how to walk, so to speak. You were like a baby deer, taking careful steps and looking back at him for reassurance after each one, like his guidance was all you could think to cling to. While your gingerly approach to things was incredibly endearing, he loved watching you grow to love your new abilities with an innocent sense of excitement that he hadn’t seen in a long time, not in himself or in anyone else, really. 
You’d taken to exploring the rafters and the view of things from the ceiling, leaving the candles in your room unlit all night just so you could bask in how odd and cool it felt to see so well in the dark. It scared the moonlight out of him every time, when he would scour every inch of the castle in search of you just to find you perched criss-cross on the ceiling, lost in a lengthy novel in a pitch black room. 
But he would never scold you, never tell you ‘no.’ In his mind that was a very important lesson for you to learn, one that would open you up to endless possibilities and happiness in an otherwise bleak state of consciousness. 
So, when your small voice chimed in from the parlor ceiling one night and startled him more than he’d like to admit, and you asked him a deceptively simple question– “What now?”-- he knew exactly how he wanted to respond. 
“Indulge,” he said just as simply, sitting calmly down on the chaise lounge to look up at you, hanging from the rafters by your knees. “Let me ask you this. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”
You took pause, humming in thought for a moment. All your life you were never much of a forward thinker because you didn't really have to be. You lived your little old life moment by moment, taking extra special care to appreciate the here and now. You had good friends, a loving family, a beautiful community, food on your plate and a warm bed to return home to every night. That didn’t leave you wanting for much.
Finally, you spoke shyly, "I guess I always wanted to fall in love."
It was so quiet, if he was still human, he wouldn’t have heard you. But he wasn’t, and he did. The corner of his lip tugged up into an endeared and somewhat amused expression, baring the sharp edge of his right canine. 
Leon adjusted his posture, sinking back into the couch to gaze up at you, trying to pretend like he wasn’t looking between your legs where your upside-down position left your skirt flipped up nearly to your waist. He cleared his throat softly and cooed, “You poor thing, you’ve never loved before?” 
Your face burned and you avoided his eyes, stretching your arms out toward the floor just to give yourself something to do. “N-No,” you began, smoothing your skirt out over your thighs just to watch it ride up again. With a short huff of breath you pulled yourself back up into a normal sitting position on the rafters, staring up at the ceiling. “I guess I just never had the chance.” 
“What, not enough fish in your little pond?” He teased, quirking an eyebrow at you. 
You laughed, appreciating the way he eased the tension, but he wasn’t exactly wrong. “I mean, yeah, the dating pool made for a better puddle.” 
“I figured as much.” 
A comfortable silence blanketed over the parlor, broken only by the gentle crackling of the fireplace. You swung your feet idly back and forth, watching the warm flame as you asked aloud, “So… What does it feel like, then?” 
“What does what feel like?” He responded, but he knew what you meant. He just wanted to hear you say it. 
“Y’know…” You kicked your frilly socked feet, “Love?” 
“Well, sweetheart, that’s quite a broad question,” Leon began, patting the space next to him in an attempt to beckon you down from the rafters, and to his delight, the gesture succeeded. You dropped gracefully to the ground and fixed your skirt before curling up beside him on the other side of the couch, your legs tucked up beneath you. You couldn’t possibly be more adorable if you tried.
As you situated yourself at his side, he continued, “There are many different kinds of love. You love your family, and you love your friends, but you don’t love your family in the same way you love your friends, and vice versa. Correct?"
He watched your expression for a moment to ensure you were following along, and surely enough, you were. Your posture was relaxed but you remained dutifully at attention, just like a good little doll should.
Leon felt a pang of pride when you nodded.
“It’s the same thing, just a different kind of love. I’m not sure I know how to describe it, really,” he said, tracing his fingertips along your knee casually. “But I could show you?” 
“Show me?” Your head tilted with that innocent curiosity he loved so much about you, and his heart melted all over again. “Show me how?” 
He said something lowly and it took you a second to register it because right after, he took your chin in his hand and drew you in for a kiss. Only after your lips collided did your brain recognize his words as, ‘Like this.’ 
With one hand cradling the back of your head and the other still tracing little shapes on your leg, Leon’s embrace felt all-consuming and overwhelmingly safe. Through it all, you really did trust him. Your fangs knocked together as he pulled you closer to deepen the kiss, making your head spin and your brows furrow in concentration. It felt incredible, unlike anything you’d ever experienced before, but the nerves kept you tense and you couldn’t help but fear you were doing a poor job. 
So you let him lead. You resigned yourself to the feeling of his cold lips on your own and his tongue exploring your waiting mouth, his broad hands keeping you pressed against him and feeling slowly up the length of your thigh. His touch made you shiver and tingle in unfamiliar but exhilarating ways and when he eventually pulled away, you were left panting for breath and wanting for more. 
He watched your face in an attempt to gauge how you were feeling, and it was evident you enjoyed it. Leon felt a rush knowing he had effectively just turned a new leaf in your training. 
You had finally learned to walk. Now it was time for you to sprint. 
Leon brushed your hair away from your shoulder, baring your neck to him. He’d waited so long for this moment, for the chance to sink his teeth into you. He wished he could have tasted you fresh, when you were still living, but he would settle for the alternative, and truthfully, it didn't even feel like settling. Especially not when your syrupy sweet blood hit his tongue and pulled a deep, guttural moan from the core of him, his pearlescent eyes rolling back in a display of momentarily mindless rapture. It was unexpectedly hot to see him react to you in such a way. No one had ever expressed such intense need for you, and you were so hung up on it that you barely noticed your thighs subtly shifting together.
But Leon was observant as ever, of course, the movement in no way making it past his keen attention-- you were too precious, too virginal for your own good. He wanted to ruin you, he wanted to tear you apart piece by piece and savor you like holy communion, to pump your undead heart with his own two hands until the end of time, his beautiful baby, his fragile little doll, his corpse bride, his darling and beloved consort.
You were both gasping for breath as he pulled away from your throat, remnants of your tart cherry blood smudged around his pallid lips. Blessed be the gift of undeath, Leon thought to himself, for it granted him the ability to feed from you without consequence-- and vice versa-- to strengthen your bond in the most intimate way imaginable time and time and time again. It still made you dizzy, of course, light and a bit tingly all over, but Leon didn't see that as a bad thing, and as it stood, you didn't seem to either. 
He was just trying to come up with a smooth way to tempt you into tasting his own blood, but found himself pleasantly surprised by your initiative. 
"Can I try?" You practically purred, your sweet voice all hushed and breathy as your dainty little hand crept up his shoulder, palm coming to rest at the leftmost side of his strong neck. 
As you caressed the pad of your thumb over the icy expanse of his skin, you couldn't help but notice the faint, scarred over marks that were dotted about, barely-there dips and craters telling a story that suggested decades of indulgence like this, decades of past lovers, and your heart inexplicably clenched in your chest. Suddenly you were overtaken with the desire to leave your own mark there, much more prominent and recent than any of those faded old others. 
Leon was quick to give you his consent, of course, and that was all it took for your mind to snap into a completely different mode of function. The highest points of your mouth were flooding with saliva and the lowest points were pooling with it, slicking your puffy lips as your tongue fell forward to drag a deep, wanton lick up the length of his cold carotid. Then, as anticipated, you helped yourself to a healthy bite of him. 
And just like that, you had discovered a new infatuation, as he knew you would. You were bonding yourselves to one another in real time, creating a connection that not even true death could break. 
You nearly went weak with how overwhelming it felt, like drinking down pure heaven, hardly even noticing you were moving for a moment as you crawled mindlessly into his lap to straddle him, grinding deep and slow. The pheromones in his sap made your head spin, bringing about the kind of spontaneous sensuality that you'd only ever felt after one too many glasses of mead, the kind that loosened your bones and tinged at your cheeks, the kind that called warmth to bloom at the pit of your stomach. 
The flavor of him was coppery and rich, but balanced, a bit dull from undeath but otherwise magnificent. That it was faint only made you want for more. 
"Easy, easy," Leon grunted quietly in your ear, reaching a hand up to card through your hair at the back of your head. "Don't drink too fast, little princess... just breathe..."
But it would seem you weren't really listening to him, and that needed to change. Thankfully, Leon knew just the way to grasp your attention. 
Letting one arm slip between your two bodies, he wedged his hand down, down, down, until it dipped beneath your skirt to close his palm over the sticky cotton of your panties. That you were already leaking through the fabric like a busted faucet was perfect. You were an absolutely perfect little untouched virgin, and thanks to him, your body would remain that way forever, ripe for his plucking.
Bringing down some pressure on your clit with the base of his palm, testing your reaction, he reveled in the way you whimpered on his throat and unlatched to finally suck in a breath, rutting to meet his attention without a second thought, so easily captivated by such slight stimulation. He couldn't wait to show you more, but he'd need to work you open first. He didn't want your first time to be painful, after all. 
Leon took you at the waist and moved to put you on your back, hovering above your spread out form on the chaise lounge and pinning you there in the most delicate way possible. Every bit of that attention to detail paid off. 
"My precious doll... my most delicate princess," he sighed reverently, stooping low to breathe you in at the neck again, laving his tongue over the bite he'd left just moments ago. "This is what true love feels like, and I wish to share it with you for eternity..." 
He let you ponder that as he continued, working you carefully out of your clothes, finding it cute how you seemed to shift and arch along with him to help him get you naked, like you just couldn't wait. In your pretty doe eyes, your undead life had just begun. 
It was a bit strange at first, feeling his finger sink into you, but it wasn't long before Leon was seeking out your soft spots and doing an excellent job of it, no less. He curled and pumped one finger carefully in you until he was sure you were comfortable, until he felt any remaining tension in your muscles melt away, and then he introduced a second. You were so wet and so absorbed by the feeling of it all that you almost didn't notice at first, but that delicious stretch was impossible to miss. 
"O-Oh," you quivered, head falling back against the plush velvet beneath you as you bucked into his hand. 
With an appreciative hum, Leon allowed himself to become a little less careful with his ministrations, watching your reactions with interest as he worked you open on his fingers, his infatuation with you growing more and more with every moan and whine, every flutter of your silky walls. 
"There you go, little one," he cooed, "you like that, don't you?"
Your response was barely more than an airy nod, but it delighted him anyway. How could it not? You were just too sweet for words, too cute to handle. You could've done or said anything in that moment and he would have adored it all the same. 
Nipping playfully at your throat, fingers still pumping dutifully in and out of your drippy cunt, his lips trailed up to your ear so he could ask in a sultry whisper, "Think you can take more?"
The next several seconds were a blur of impassioned movement, each of you weaving around one another to shed the elder vampire of his own ensemble, revealing his carved marble frame piece-by-piece. You were amazed by the strength in his shoulders, how smooth and soft his skin was from being kept away from the sun for so long, the dark blonde trail of hair that disappeared below his belt, only for its path to be revealed upon the long-awaited removal of his trousers. 
Leon's cock was painfully hard, tip flushed red and weeping with milky beads of precum as he freed himself from his confines at last. He felt the intense need to give it a few strokes with how pent up he was at this point, but he didn't see a point in wasting any time pleasuring himself when you were right there, skirt hiked up to your waist while you laid there panting and leaking your arousal all over his nice furniture. With a pout that pretty, it would be a disservice not to fuck you until you cried. 
He angled your hips with one hand and lined himself up with the other, pushing in slowly. Your expression screwed tight for a short moment as the swollen head of him caught at your hole, an opportune moment of distraction for him to sink in deeper, stretching you out until he hit the root, drawing a shocked cry from your throat that gave way to a pleasured whine just as quickly as it came. 
So he began to move, wanting to draw out that gorgeous sound for as long as you would allow him to hear it. Your cunt was so fucking tight, pulsing and squeezing around his shaft like you were made for it, made for him, delivered to him by fate so that he might just get to fuck you like this forever and ever, and in that moment, he knew he made the right choice in sharing his gift with you. For the first time in recent memory, the future felt bright. 
"L... L-Leon..." You babbled, hooking one leg over his hip for purchase just to find out it allowed him to prod that much deeper. You went boneless at the feeling, finding strength only in your ability to claw at his shoulders for dear life, the faint scent of his blood lingering in the air and making your head spin. "Feels... g-good... so good... don't stop..." 
He wouldn't dream of it. 
Fingertips printing into your thighs, he pulled your legs up to rest over his shoulders instead, driving you down into the soft couch in a firm mating press. You were nose to nose, needy lips catching and fangs clacking between filthy words and gasps for breath as you felt his presence envelope you fully. Leon was in you, on you, around you...
Leon was your home now. Leon was where you laid to rest. 
For the first time in your undead life, you felt your body licking with heat, temperature rising steadily at the pit of you and threatening to hit a fever pitch. Every inch of him lit you up from the inside. 
"Oh, my baby," he groaned, letting go of you with one hand just to swipe his silvery blonde hair away from his face so he could gaze at you like a work of art. "You're getting close, aren't you? Squeezing me so tight like that..."
"Yeah," you whined, even though you weren't fully sure what it even felt like to be close. You weren't dumb, you knew what orgasms were, you'd just never had one yourself, and as such, you had no basis for comparison. 
Leon aimed to fix that, to make damn sure you familiarized yourself with the feeling over the course of your shared eternity. 
His thrusts picked up with renewed vigor, the legs of the old chaise lounge scratching against the hardwood floors with every push forward, and he didn't even care. Everything else about life felt so worthless in comparison to you, the new center of his universe. The whole entire house could collapse and he would still be content, so long as he had you. 
And every time he remembered that he did have you, that you were here with him right now, squirming and rutting on his cock so beautifully, that he was all you had... it just drove him that much crazier, made him that much more determined to make your first time one you would never forget. He couldn't be happier to spend the entire rest of his endless life topping the last performance. 
You were losing your grip, struggling to keep your eyes open and eventually sinking your itching fangs into what you could reach of his throat just to push yourself a little higher, a little closer. The flavor alone made you purr against his skin, jaw clenching tighter, and the delicious sting of it was pushing him forward too. Now his biggest concern wasn't just making sure you came, but making sure that you came first. 
So he withheld, even as his balls drew up tight and ached to release, focusing instead on getting you there. 
"Don't be shy, princess, I've got you," Leon moaned into your ear, "let it happen... just let it happen..." 
Tears pricked at your eyes, the overabundance of stimulation rendering you down into a tearful little puddle, but it wasn't until he spoke up to encourage you that you realized you really were holding back, stalling yourself at the precipice like it was wrong to let go.
But it wasn't wrong. It was divine. It was indulgent.
Sucking back a mouthful of his blood, you unlatched from Leon's neck just to press your forehead against his own, your jaw stuck open in stilted whines and gasps for breath as that molten heat in your belly finally boiled over, and you discovered exactly what it was you were close to. 
Your spine drew up into an arch, toes curling over his shoulders as you came on his length with a cry, thighs trembling with strain. Leon had never been baptized before, but it felt like he was just now. He'd never felt so close to God as he allowed himself to finish deep inside your perfect pussy. 
You collapsed together in the afterglow, the parlor going quiet again as you both caught your breath and your bearings, a heaping pile of mess on velvet.
"Leon," you whispered, kissing some of the excess blood away from his cold skin as you innocently and earnestly admitted, "I... I think I love you." 
He cracked a fond smile at this, if only because he knew you would catch up in time. After all, you still had much to learn, and he didn't want to overwhelm you more than he already had for one evening. 
"I love you too, little one."
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thinkinonsense · 3 days ago
Text
Touchཐིཋྀ
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origins!logan howlett x fem!reader x black widow!natasha romanoff
cw: mdni!! oral (f+f), strap-on sex, fingering, squirting, doggy style, p in v, angst, some fluff, angsttt, dom!nat & dom!logan x sub!reader
masterlist
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after a life of running and living in fear of an impending doom, you and logan had finally managed to build a peaceful life together. deep in the woods sat a wooden cabin where the two of you spent most of your days.
during the week, logan worked down at the lumberyard while you taught ballet to a group of young girls downtown. your boyfriend didn't know much of your past, just that you were tested on and abused back in russia. he never pressured you to talk about the past, his wasn't any better either.
buried in the back of your closet hid a box of belongings from russia. there weren't many things you valued from that time there but you did manage to take some photos of the girls you were friends with, a few journal, and an old pager given to you by someone you no longer knew. her face was everywhere but she never bothered to reach out again after escaping the red room.
"i'll see you later, honey." logan whispered as he kissed your cheek then left the bedroom.
half asleep still, you mumble a goodbye before your head hit the pillow again for the next couple of hours. you didn't have a class today but instead planned on going to town and getting groceries for the week.
it's a little after one when you finally jump in the shower, listing all the things you needed to buy and what you wanted to make for dinner. while picking out an outfit, you hear a faint vibration. logan kept your toys under the bed so, you knew that wasn't where the noise was coming from.
it could be?
inside the box, you can see the familiar number flash. hesitantly, you walk over to the phone and dial. pacing back and forth on the wooden floor, waiting for an answer.
"эй, принцесса."
hey, princess
you knew that voice like the back of your hand but you still couldn't believe it.
"natalia." your accent came out thick and heavy. she should've expected you to be upset still.
it's been everywhere. the news of the sokovia accords and the freeing of the winter soldier. you were keeping up with the news but not too closely. it was irritating watching natasha get to play super hero with the likes of iron man and captain america when you knew the truth.
"can we talk? i need a favor." she sounded desperate.
"i don't think that's a good idea." you sigh, unable to come up with a good excuse.
"c'mon, for old times sake?"
you hesitate. of course you missed her, how could you not? despite the red room being the worst time of your life, natalia was the daylight that kept you going.
"you don't even know where i am."
"look out your kitchen window."
pulling back the curtain, there she stood on your porch. long red hair just like you remembered, a small suite case next to her and a pair of black sunglasses covering her eyes. you hang up the phone and grab a kitchen knife from the counter; moving closer to the door.
"how did you find me?" you squint, feeling somewhere between anger and impressed.
"an old friend owed me a favor." she shrugs. "i didn't picture you as a living among the trees type of girl. you know, it quite dangerous to live alone in the woods."
"i can take care of myself" you remind her before adding, "and i don't live alone."
natasha's face falls a little. if you didn't know her as well as you did, you never would've been able to tell. she had a million questions but wasn't sure if she wanted the answers.
"what was the favor you needed?" you ask, trying to change the subject.
"i need a place to lay low for a bit."
was it horrible that you had to remind yourself that you are with logan now? now you love logan more than anything but you would be lying if you said natasha didn't hold a special place in your heart still.
"no games, nat." you put on your best poker face, knowing she could see right through you.
"even though i do miss playing with you," her lips linger closely to yours. sharing the same air. "i promise, no games."
"good. there's a guest room inside."
the two of you enter the house again and you show her the extra room. it's not very decorated, simply and neat. natasha didn't mind, she was just thankful you hadn't tried to fight her once you saw her again.
"so, who's the lucky lady that managed to tie you down?" nat chuckles to herself as she unpacks her things.
"his name is logan." you answer nervously.
why were you nervous? you didn't owe her anything, especially after the way she left you.
natasha felt the knife in her chest twist at the news. not only had you moved on but you were sickly in love. maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.
a car door slams shut, snapping both of you back into reality.
"i'll be back. there's towels under the sink if you want to take a shower." you linger in the door way, waiting for her to turn and catch a glimpse of you before you leave.
"thanks, принцесса."
she doesn't even look up at you.
⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒
logan could smell trouble miles away. the blood soaked in her jacket. the faint smell of her sweat and your cherry perfume. he assumed you were in trouble, maybe someone broke in or lured you out of the house to attack you. within seconds, he was back in his truck to check up on you.
"hey, honey." you smile, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss.
"hey... are you... are you alright?" he struggled to get out in between kisses.
"mhm, i was thinking we could go for a drive." you were talking too fast, trying to distract him from whatever was inside.
"what's going on, sweetheart?" one of his brows arched, waiting for the truth.
both of you climb into the truck but logan never starts the car. instead he listens to the rapid beating of your heart.
"there's something—someone, from my past that's inside. she needed a place to lay low for a little bit."
logan could tell by your lack of eye contact that there was something you were still hiding something about this friend of yours.
"I won't be upset." he saying lovingly, reaching for your hand.
"when i was in the red room, i worked closely with a woman that i also was in a relationship with at the time."
logan wasn't sure why you were nervous to tell him this? he knew you liked women as well and he wasn't threatened by it. sure, is it a bit odd that your ex was coming here to hide out? defintely but logan of all people should know what it's like to be in need of somewhere to hide out.
"it was more than just physical. she meant a lot to me until..." you debated on telling him more but still on the fence.
"until?" he tests the waters.
"dreykov sent me to budapest. she never looked for me." on the verge of tears, you bite down on your tongue. "it killed me because not only did she leave me but she abandoned all the other girls that were stuck in the red room."
logan pulls you into his chest, stroking your hair gently, letting you know that it's okay to cry. your brain didn't get the memo because nothing came out.
"you don't have to let her stay here if it's too much for you." he reminds you.
"i know. i'm just not sure if i can handle her leaving again."
"must've really loved her, huh, princess?"
you nod softly into his chest.
"i don't mind if she stays but if you don't want her too, that's fine too." he says. "just want you to be happy."
in times like these, it hits you just how lucky you are to be with someone like logan. someone so understanding and loving. he knew the pain you went through all those years ago and how deep the connection with the woman inside must be. you can't survive that level of abuse without something keeping you going. for you, that something was natasha.
⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒
inside the house, natasha watched you and logan out in the car. slightly intimidated by your boyfriends stature and entirely jealous of his arms wrapped around you. she had to remind herself that you were practically a stranger to her now. so much has changed over the years and neither of you were the same girls from the red room anymore.
when she saw the two of you exiting the car, she rushed back into the guest room. in the tiny hallway, she noticed the picture frames on the wall. there's a photo of a group of young ballerinas and yourself. natasha wonders if that's how you keep yourself connected to your past life.
next to your picture is your boyfriend -whatever his name was- and some of his friends outside of a fancy looking school. natasha tried to pay little attention to it on her way back to the room.
ten minutes pass before there's a soft knock on the door.
"come in." natasha calls out, turning off the television.
from behind the door, you appear with a plate and a glass in your hands. the smile on her lips, drops the moment she sees him at your tail.
"thought you might be hungry." you explain, handing her the sandwich you made for her
"isn't that sweet of you to think of me," she teases, watching the way your cheeks flush with color at her words.
logan leans against the door frame while you sit on the bed with natasha. he watched as you completely bewitched the red headed woman in front of you. she was practically hanging onto every word you said. he couldn't blame her though, you have the same effect on him.
"you must be 'lucky logan' ?"natasha cocks her head at the man behind you.
"guess so." he smirks, admiring the doe eyes you give him.
"hm, and you're okay with me staying here?" she asks.
"that's not up to me." logan shrugs.
natasha's green eyes shift over to your face, waiting for you to say something.
"i want you here, nat." you admit.
her heart flutters in her chest. she knew she didn't deserve a second chance and would leave if you asked her too but god, was she grateful that you still wanted her to be here.
"i don't deserve you, принцесса." she says softly, finding it hard to mask her feelings anymore.
"shhh..." you tell her. "just get some rest."
natasha actually listens to you, finishing her sandwich and crawling under the soft comforter. you reach for the empty plate and she stops you before you could walk away; placing a soft kiss on the inside of your palm. the tiny gasp that left your mouth didn't sneak past either of them in the room. once she let you go, you and logan exit the room and go into your own shared bedroom.
logan watched you pace back and forth, wiping her kiss mark off on your blue jeans. it pulled at his heart strings to see you so torn by natasha's presence. tears fall down your face like rain.
"don't cry, sweetheart." logan says, wrapping his arms around you.
"i'm s-sorry, lo..." you apologize, upset at yourself for still harvesting these feelings towards natasha.
"for what?" he asks, lifting up your chin to look at him.
"i love you so much." you blurt out, too afraid to say what you really wanted to.
"i know. i love you too." he smiles, bending down to give you a quick kiss then adding, "and i know you love her too."
"it's not–"
"it's okay." he assures you. "i'm not upset."
"you aren't?" you question, prepared for him to storm out and want nothing to do with you ever again.
"no."
without thinking, you completely collapse into his arms, so thankful for the man in front of you.
"i don't deserve you, logan." you whisper, kissing him gently.
"don't say that." he says sternly. "i'm just trying to give you everything you want in life."
⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒
hours later, natasha woke up. she could smell faint tobacco from somewhere in the house. it was enough to get her out of bed to see where it was coming from. in the living room, she found logan on the couch watching a western and smoking a cigar with his boots up on the coffee table. he didn't have to turn around to know that nat was there.
"she went to the grocery store to get something for dinner." he says nonchalantly answering the question in your head.
natasha hummed in response, keeping a distance from logan in case he decides to do something rash like fight her.
"you can sit down, you know?" he chuckles, blowing the smoke from his mouth. "i'm not gonna attack you or anything."
"i wouldn't blame you if you did." she remarks, picking the single chair in the living room to sit down at.
"the only way i would do that is if you decide to hurt her again." he states frankly, eyes glued to the television screen.
"i suppose that's fair; but i don't plan on it."
"good. she's practically a damn saint."
natasha smiles a little at his words.
"yeah, she is." she says. “i wish i hadn’t left her the way that i did but there wasn’t much choice in the matter.”
“why did you leave her there?”
“dreykov found out about us. he threatened to have her sold off somewhere to someone who would probably kill her or worse.” natasha’s voice was tiny for once. painfully reminding her of the past she tried to burry. “thought i made it easier by leaving. she doesn’t know it but i did try to go back for her. twice actually. once by myself and another time with my friend, clint. the first time, she didn’t recognize me. the second time, he ordered her to kill me. barely made it out alive."
logan remembered how after a couple of months dating, you opened up about your memory issues. constantly feeling like you were missing a piece of the puzzle that was your life from all the experiments. it’s one of the things that helped you two connect with each other.
“i’ve seen her kill with her bare hands. seen her tied to tables with needles injected into her until she was blue in the face and spitting up blood. she was one of his favorite’s. used to wake up to her screaming from the nightmares.”
“she still gets them sometimes.” logan mutters.
nastasha nods, wiping a tear away quickly.
“do you think she will ever forgive me?”
“i think so.”
“do you think i deserve it?”
“probably not,” he said honestly with a shrug. “but that’s not up to me.”
natasha appreciated his candor at least.
“she’s back.” logan said before she could even hear the car approaching.
logan got up to help you bring in the bags. once both of you are inside, you spot nat sitting in the living room awake.
"hey, whatcha doin’ awake already?” you ask.
"i haven’t been awake long.” she answers, getting up and joining you in the kitchen.
“i’m making pasta, hope that’s alright with you?”
“of course. want some help?”
you instruct her to boil the noodles while you prepare the sauce. the two of you stand close next to each other as nat watches over your shoulder.
"have you heard from yelena lately?" you ask, making small talk.
"no." nat's voice came out a whisper. "have you?"
"mhm." you hum, stirring the sauce. "she called a month ago, asked what i knew about these red vitals she was given."
"vitals?"
"yeah, i told her my memory isn't as good as it used to be."
natasha reaches over and lightly touches your ponytail, twirling the ends around her fingers to help ease you. that’s how she used to calm you down as teenagers, by playing with your hair. deep down you knew you shouldn’t look at her, not this close anyways. nat could smell your cherry perfume, over powering her senses. her plump lips tempted you, sending an ache down to your lower region. she watches you intensely, waiting for you to make a move and wanting you more than ever.
unbeknownst to either of you, logan knew what was going on. he could smell the need forming in your underwear, could practically hear natasha’s dirty thoughts about you. most boyfriends would feel threatened by this but logan was different. he worshipped the ground you walked on and he always valued your happiness. why would he deny you of the love you deserved?
"i-i'm gonna go grab some wine from the cellar." you stutter, leaving her there alone.
nat nods, walking back into the living room to breathe.
"you can kiss her, if she wants you too." logan says aloud, tapping off the end of his cigar on the ashtray next to him.
"you aren't just saying that so then you would have an excuse to try and kill me, are you?" she squints.
"she won't make the first move. too afraid that she'll hurt me." he replied, ignoring natasha's comment.
"you wouldn't care?" she questions.
"no."
"what if i wanted to do more than kiss her?"
"its up to her."
logan watches natasha's eyes cloud with lust at the thought. how could he fault her? you were the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen in all 200+ years of his life. plus he would be lying in he said that he wouldn't find it hot to see you and natasha going at it.
"hey, is red okay?" you ask, holding a bottle up as you rounded the corner.
both logan and nat looked at you with these hungry looking eyes like you were their prey. logan's nostrils flare a little at the sweet scent.
"r-reds fine." nat stutters, her throat was dry at the thought of being back in between your thighs.
"cool, i'll get the glasses."
as you turn to leave, logan calls after you, "can you bring me a beer, sweetheart?"
"of course" you nod, obediently.
when you return, the three of you sit and watch the western playing for a few minutes until logan huffs loudly, sick of this tension and neither of you two doing anything about it.
"are you two gonna kiss 'n make up already, or what?" logan teases.
natasha and you find each others blown out gaze. both of you needed this. needing closure.
"fuck it." natasha mumbles to herself, getting up and coming over to you.
the redhead straddles you on the couch, caressing your jaw in her delicate palm. you nod your head, letting her know that you wanted this as much as she did. from her first taste of you, she knew it would be impossible to pull away.
⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒
nat chases your plump kiss bitten red lips, backing you up until your legs hit the edge of the bed. your hands are up her shirt and under her bra, squeezing the soft flesh of her tits. rubbing your thumb over the blooming bud and listening to her pretty moans against your lips. she lays you down and strips herself of her clothes. you rush to do the same, wiggling out of your jeans.
behind nat, you see logan walk in with his beer in his hand and take a seat across from you in the corner. knowing that he's watching sent shivers down your spine. it wasn't until natasha grabbed your chin and squished your cheeks together that you realized you had been staring at logan.
"it's not his turn, it's mine." she taunts.
you nod your head and babble out an apology. she removes her grip on you only to lay down in between your thighs. a sight that you missed dearly.
"natty, please don't tease." you whine, arching at the soft kisses she trails inside of your thighs and hip bones, avoiding where you needed her most.
she smiles at the fact that your already shaking with anticipation. surprisingly, she looks over at logan.
"keep her legs spread for me, would ya'?" she asks.
he nods, already hard in his blue jeans. logan joins you two on the bed, sitting behind you and letting you rest comfortable against his chest. he places your legs over his to keep you open for natasha. she groans, sucking a dark plum bruise on your hipbone. meanwhile, logan's leaving similar marks on your neck and along your shoulder.
"please." you whine, wiggling your hips in her face. both natasha and logan can smell your arousal in the air. it's intoxicating.
"patients, baby." she scolds before licking a fat stripe over your clothed cunt.
"w-wanna feel you nat."
without hesitation, natasha tears the lacy material from your body and spreads you open. it's been years since she had last seen you in this position. she needs a moment to capture your angelic imagine.
"there's my girl." nat says, talking to your cunt. completely ignoring you and logan like you two aren't even in the room.
"isn't she a fuckin sight?" logan finally speaks up.
right as you open your mouth to beg her to do something, anything, she leaning in again to lick from your entrance up to your button.
"missed this pussy, принцесса..." nat says sloppily into your folds. "so wet for me."
"uh-uh." you moan, throwing your head back.
logan turns your chin to capture your lips, letting you moan freely into his mouth while his hands come up to massage your tits. fingers pinching and rolling the stiff buds in his palms.
natasha spends a while making out with your cunt; taking her time to savor the honey that pours from inside of you. she pulls back for a second to spit on your mound, letting it drip down before inserting her middle and ring finger. hers weren't nearly as thick as logan's but they are longer and still feel perfect in their own way. she watches how you and logan move together while she pumps in and out of you. for once, she didn't feel jealous of logan for having you. instead it made her heart swell to know that someone else loves you just as much as she does.
despite all the pleasure you felt, selfishly you wanted more. your right hand moves to intertwine itself into nat's red locks, pulling her head back to where you needed her most. her tongue swirled circles over your swollen bud, teasing it playfully. her fingers move faster inside of you as she grinds her clothed cunt against the mattress, moaning against your folds.
"ya' feel good, sweetheart?" logan asks, placing a soft kiss on your hairline.
"sooo good, lo." you purr, gazing up at him with doe eyes.
his low chuckle makes you clench down had on natasha's fingers. all that can be heard in the room are low moans and wet squelching noises. nat kitten licks your button until you reach your first high of the night.
too caught in euphoria to control your legs wrapping around her neck, squeezing her head with your thighs. your loud moans were barely audible to her at this moment. the red head could die happily right here, right now.
carefully, she pulls off of you.
"you did so good for me, принцесса." she praises, stroking your thighs.
as soon as natasha sits up, you reach out and kiss her, tasting yourself on her plump maroon lips. she melts into the kiss making it easy for you to flip her over on her back. logan gets up again, unbuckling his belt as he watches the two of you grind on each other in messy, uncoordinated movements.
"wish you could fuck me like old times, nat." you mumble, kissing her chest and leaving little love bites behind.
"i-i could..." she hesitates.
already ahead of her, logan's rummaging through her backpack and hold up a familiar contraption.
"lookin' for this, red?" he smirks, tossing the strap-on onto the bed next to her.
the last time nat wanted either of you two think is that she just dropped by to fuck you and leave but what can she say? she's prepared for anything.
"is this alright with you, pretty girl?" she asks you in between lightly nibbling on your pulse point while you grind your cunt against the soft skin of her abs.
natasha pulls back to look at you. her hand cradles your jaw, waiting for your answer.
"i need it natty." you nod. "need you inside of me."
those words make her blue eyes turn a stormy dark grey. in a rush, she puts it on and lets you line yourself up to the silicone. despite all the time apart, the two of you fell back into a seamless rhythm together. one of her hands rests on your hip, helping you move up and down while the other paws at your chest, rolling the stiff bud.
"uh-fuck." you whine, throwing your head back when she angles her hips up with a sharp snap.
"that's the spot, huh?" she smirks, watching your pretty face scrunch up as you try and focus.
weakly, you nod your head and babble something incoherent to both hers and logan's ears. it's not the same feeling that logan gives you obviously but the way natasha's fucking up into you makes you feel just as good.
logan makes his way over to you, palming his boxer covered cock as he leans down to make out with you. willingly, giving in as his tongue explores your mouth messily with a hand in your hair. natasha uses this to her advantage, bringing her thumb up to your clit and circle it slowly in contrast to the jolts of her hips hitting yours. logan swallows every little moan that spills from your plump lips.
" 'm so close, natty." you whimper, tears in your waterline as logan's sucks on your pulse point.
"is that so, baby?" she mocks with a light roll of her hips.
"d-don't stop, please." you beg, bouncing faster to chase your high.
natasha and logan were both wishing that they could feel you clenching around them instead of the silicone.
logan's big rough hands help you bounce in rhythm as soon as he sees your movements slow down.
"c'mon, princess." logan groans in your ear. "we wanna see you fall apart for us."
"cum for us, sweet girl." natasha purrs, sitting up to suck on your tit and picking up speed with her thumb.
that's all it takes for you to release on top of nat, hips shaking violently while you leaked all over her lap. eyes screwed shut, stars coming into vision as you try to calm yourself down again. it just felt so good to feel the contrasts between her and logan when they fuck you.
carefully, logan picks you up off of natasha's strap. she takes it off and throws it aside, watching logan help you recover.
"don't ya' think natasha deserves something too for how good she's made you feel, princess?" logan asks you.
"mhm." you nod, crawling in between her legs. "wanna thank you properly, natty."
natasha thinks she might cum just from looking at your big doe eyes in between her thighs. you play flat on your stomach, kissing the plush soft skin. her hips wiggle impatiently in your face. the sweet smell of her arousal reminded you of all the other intimate moments the two of you have shared. within seconds, you're ripping off her lacy black panties and tossing them somewhere to the side of the bed.
"so fuckin' pretty 'n so wet." you mumble to yourself as you pull her fold apart, watching her slick drip from her entrance. "is this all for me?"
"o-only for you, baby." she says with a shaky breath.
you lean forward licking a strip from her entrance to her button. your hands wrap under her thighs and pull her tight against your face, letting her use you however she wanted. natasha grinds down on your tongue, moaning when your nose occasionally bumping her clit. she taste sweeter than any other times you've buried your tongue inside of her.
"love how good your tongue feels, baby." she moans, brushing your hair out of your face.
mind fully focused on nat that you don't even register logan shifting around behind you, running his tip up and down your pussy. lightly slapping your clit before thrusting inside of you. his cock stretches you deliciously, making you moan against natasha's cunt. her fingers pulls a bit at your hair from the vibrations. it's always a struggle to get him to fit inside of you.
"tightest pussy in the fuckin' world, i swear." he mumbles to himself, watching you swallow him whole.
logan's thrusts start to increase as he paws at the flesh of your ass. his tip kisses your cervix repeatedly, making it hard for you to keep your mouth around nat. your forehead pressed against her thigh while you try to concentrate, licking your fingers and inserting them into natasha's tight warm cunt.
"fuck!" nat moans, clenching around your two fingers as they reach that spongey spot deep inside of her. "faster, принцесса. wanna cum for you."
her dirty words sent you into a frenzy. using all of your strength left to make her gush. the noises were so lewd it made your head spin. her back arches and soft moans fall from her lips as she tugs on your hair. like a faucet, she's leaking all over your hand, your face, and down on yours and logan's shared sheets.
behind you, logan is too busy trying not to cum inside of you too soon. he's gripping your hips so hard you know that there will be bruising left behind. every now and then you can hear him grunting and smack the fat of your ass, watching as it bounces back at him. the pleasure builds in your tummy. logan's hand snakes under you to rub at your clit.
"f-faster, lo." you whimper, lifting your mouth off of natasha for a second.
"i gotcha, princess." he groans, doing so.
within seconds, you release all over him. the string of moans vibrate against nat's core, overstimulating her until she cums again, soaking your face entirely. logan doesn't last much longer either. he paints your walls white and keeps you stuffed with his cum, only pulling out when it starts to sting a little.
the three of you are quiet for a moment, needing time to recover. who would've thought that two russia assassins and a mutant would need time to recover from anything, let alone sex.
logan's the first to move, going to bring towels and some water. you rest your head on natasha's stomach, she runs her nails against your scalp the same way she would when you woke up from nightmares. a tear rolls down your cheek, thinking about her running away again.
"what's wrong, принцесса?" she whispers, hearing you soft cry.
"just dreading you leaving again." you mutter, afraid to look up at her.
"hey, i'll be here as long as you want me here." she says, lifting your chin up.
"tasha, someone needs to save those girls. dreykov won't stop until someone comes after him."
there's a long pause of silence before she says anything again. her eyes glued to the ceiling, trying not to cry.
"you know, i used to picture a simple life for the two of us. something similar to this actually, minus the grumpy looking man in the kitchen. i wanted to give you a piece of normalcy but i kept running away, afraid i was the one putting you in harms way." she sighs shakily. "i shouldn't have ran. i should've come back. there's so much i couldn't give you but i see that logan can do that for you."
"look, i love logan more than anything but why can't we make it work too?" your question makes both natasha and logan pause, as he returns into the bedroom.
natasha looks up at logan, ready for him to finally yell and kick her out. especially now that she's coming between the two of you. instead he's looking over at you with a spark of love in his gaze.
"i don't think logan would appreciate sharing you full time." she says, avoiding your wide eyed stare.
"i just want my girl to be happy." he responds, lighting another cigar. "think she would be happier with both of us, red."
the time has never been right for you and natasha but who says it needs to be? she's finally back in your life again and you can't risk letting her go again.
"we will help you track down yelena and fight with you to free those girls from the redroom but i want you here with us, natty. please don't go again."
she finally looks down at you and her heart melts. how would she be able to leave you again? not after today. this is where her heart lied, here with you.
"of course, i'll stay принцесса."
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yan-lorkai · 1 day ago
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Fae/faerie Jade trying to get lost reader's name and her being like '🤨 uh, no, give me yours first, let's trade' without knowing that's basically like betrothing herself with him
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.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ A/n: Lowkey I believed faes/fairies used to exist when I was kid lol. And I'm telling y'all this because I had a dream quite similar to this fic lololol, it was a good dream tho :>
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ tagging: @harukishiyo @kiraiyugen
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"You're quite charming," he says, his voice soft and almost reverent, as if speaking an undeniable truth. "Precious, even. Why won't you tell me your name?"
You hesitate, narrowing your eyes at him. There's something about the way he asks, the smoothness of his tone, that feels too inviting, too... dangerous. For a second, you study him, his sudden appearance intriguing you.
You cross your arms, trying to appear more confident than you feel. "Uh, no. Mister, you should tell me your name first," you say, thinking you’ve cleverly sidestepped whatever game he’s playing. "Or... We could trade names."
For a moment, his eyes widen, surprise flickering across his face. But then his lips curl into a slow, satisfied smile, one that makes your stomach tighten in a way you can’t quite place. "Ah, a trade, is it?" he murmurs, the words rolling off his tongue with a hint of amusement. "Very well, if that is what you wish... I shall oblige."
He leans in slightly, his gaze never leaving yours, and for a brief second, you feel as though the air around you has thickened, charged with something unspoken. When he speaks his name - Jade, like the gem, it’s with a deliberate, almost theatrical grace, each syllable drawn out as if he’s savoring the moment. His voice is like silk, and his name feels heavy, lingering in the air between you.
And the sound is almost magical, hypnotic even.
You don't realize it, but the moment you suggested a trade, you unknowingly set the trap he had been waiting for. To exchange names with a fae is to offer something more than just words; it’s an agreement, a binding promise. By giving yours, you would be tying yourself to him, just as he’s doing now.
And the look in his eyes — the way they gleam with that mix of amusement and something darker — tells you that he knows exactly what you've just offered, even if you don't.
When you finally open your mouth to respond, you don’t see the invisible chains that have begun to form around you, nor do you hear the silent vow he’s made to keep you by his side.
"Well," you begin, a bit nervously, trying to shake off the sudden intensity in his eyes. "I guess it’s only fair to share mine now." You tell him your name, and as the words leave your lips, you can't help but notice how his smile widens, sharp and satisfied, like a predator finally closing in on its prey.
“Ah, so that is your name, Yuu,” he repeats, almost reverently, as if tasting it, repeating it again and again as if he was getting used to it. “Beautiful… fitting, even.”
He takes a step closer, and you instinctively take a step back, but he follows, closing the distance again. “You have no idea what you’ve just given me, do you?” His voice is gentle, but there’s an underlying current, a subtle shift that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.
You blink, confused. “What do you mean?” you ask, feeling a little defensive. “It’s just my name. We traded, remember?”
“Oh, but it’s not just a name,” he replies, tilting his head as if amused by your innocence. “To share a name with a fae is to forge a bond, one that can not easily be broken. You offered a piece of yourself, and I’ve accepted it. Just as I have given you a piece of me in return.”
You stare at him, the realization dawning on you slowly, like the creeping shadow of a storm. You had to have misunderstood what he just said.
“Wait… Are you saying…?” Your words falter as you search his eyes, looking for any sign that he’s joking, but there’s none. The grin on his face is too calm, too knowing, as if he’s been planning this all along.
“Yes, my dear,” he says, his voice soft and almost affectionate, yet there’s a possessiveness in his tone that makes your heart skip a beat. “We are bound now, betrothed, if you wish to call it that. You belong to me, just as I belong to you. Isn’t it delightful? Mom and dad will be glad to know you.”
Your heart starts pounding, a mix of disbelief and panic surging through you. “No, no, that’s not what I meant!” You stammer, shaking your head as if you can undo the words you’ve already spoken. “I didn’t agree to… to this! I can't get married right now.”
He doesn’t seem fazed by your protest. If anything, he looks even more delighted now. “Oh, but we're married now due to fae traditions. The moment you proposed the trade, you sealed your fate. And I have no intention of letting you go, my precious beloved one.”
He reaches out, brushing a strand of hair from your face, his touch cool but oddly soothing. “Do not fear, Yuu. I shall take care of you, cherish you… just as a good partner should.”
You try to pull away, but his hand cups your cheek, holding you gently in place. “There is no need to run, no need to fight. We are bound by something far stronger than mere words. You wished to know my name, and now… you will never forget it.”
The forest around you feels like it’s closing in, the air thick with something unseen, as if the world itself acknowledges the bond between you. And in his eyes, you see no hint of malice, only a patient, eternal watchfulness, as if he’s content to wait, to let you come to terms with what you’ve unknowingly become a part of.
“I’ll give you time to understand,” he murmurs, his lips curling into a soft, almost tender smile as he presses a kiss to your temple. “But know this… I am yours, just as you are mine. And there is no escaping what has been forged tonight... Love.”
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wandamaximoffsbadgirl · 2 days ago
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Just a Phone Call Away
Carol Danvers x fem!reader
Word count: 913
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, phone sex, guided masturbation
Authors notes: Kinktober has been filled with a lot of firsts and this is one of them so I hope you all like it!
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Carol’s voice is a bit crackly from the intergalactic signal, but the warm affection in her tone is unmistakable. "Hey, babe," she murmurs, that familiar teasing lilt coming through, making your heart skip a beat. "You miss me?"
You bite your lip, barely containing the flood of need that's been simmering since you last saw her. "More than you know," you reply, voice soft and a little breathless, which doesn’t go unnoticed.
"Oh, I think I know exactly how much." Her chuckle is low, a little rough. "Been thinking about you all day." There's a pause, and you can hear the rustle of fabric on her end. "I have an idea if you're interested." She pauses, her voice dropping to a husky murmur. "Why don't you let me guide you, hmm? We both need this."
The suggestion sends a thrill through you, and you nod, realizing a second later she can't see you. "I want that, Carol. Please."
With a smile in her voice, Carol begins, "Good girl. Now, start by lying back and let your hands wander…"
You settle back, heart racing as Carol's voice becomes the only thing grounding you. Her tone is firm but gentle, guiding, and each word feels like a caress against your skin.
"Run your fingers along your neck, down to your collarbone," she says, her voice dropping lower, more intent. "Imagine it’s me there, pressing kisses, moving lower… I wish I could be there to feel how your body reacts."
You shiver, doing as she says, your fingers tracing lightly over your skin. Carol lets out a soft groan on her end, and the sound makes your pulse race faster.
"Are you touching yourself, too?" you whisper, almost shy, though the need in your voice is unmistakable.
"Mm-hmm," she breathes, a hint of a laugh in her response. "Thinking about you drives me crazy, baby. I couldn’t wait another second." Her breathing becomes heavier, her voice almost a purr. "I want you to keep going. Slip your hand lower… under your shirt. Tell me how it feels."
You let out a quiet sigh, fingers trailing over your stomach and grazing under the hem of your shirt, feeling the warmth of your skin against your palm. "It feels… so good, Carol," you murmur, imagining her hands there, her touch guiding yours.
"Good," she praises, her voice thick with desire. "Now, keep going. I want you to take your time, feel every inch, just the way you like. And let me hear you, babe—I miss that sound so much."
Your breath catches as you follow her every word, surrendering to the sensation of her guiding presence, even from so many galaxies away. The distance feels like it disappears with every sigh, every whispered direction, as Carol’s voice wraps around you, pulling you into her orbit.
The heat between you builds with every one of Carol’s low, murmured instructions. Her voice, steady and coaxing, keeps guiding you closer and closer to that edge, like she’s right there with you, feeling every inch of what you’re feeling.
“Touch yourself the way I would,” she whispers, her own breath heavy, almost ragged, as if she’s right there, needing this just as much as you do. “Slow, then faster. Just like that, baby. Let me hear how good it feels.”
A small moan escapes your lips, and she lets out a breathless chuckle. “God, I miss that sound,” she says, her voice tinged with longing. “You sound so good, you know that?”
You can hear the strain in her voice, the tiny shivers in her breathing as she moves in sync with you on her end, both of you lost in each other, in the aching need for release. It’s her breathy little moans, her whispered praise that keeps pushing you, winding you up tight.
“Carol,” you gasp, teetering on that thin edge. “I’m so close…”
“Me too,” she murmurs, her voice barely a whisper now. “Don’t hold back. I want us to fall together.” There’s a pause, and then she adds, “On the count of three… one… two…”
And on three, you both fall, the pleasure hitting you hard, your breathless gasps mingling with her low groan over the phone. For a moment, nothing else exists but the sound of her breathing, the warmth of her voice, and the perfect, dizzying release that washes over you both.
As you come down, her voice is soft and tender, filled with affection. “I love you, babe,” she whispers, the smile in her voice almost tangible. “Can’t wait to come home and show you just how much.”
You smile, heart still racing. “Me too, Carol.”
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lev1buns · 2 days ago
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DISCHARGED ˒˒ AOT
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levi has recently been discharged from the hospital and is unable to see the pretty nurse that took care of him every day that he eventually fell for. he becomes really sad that he can’t see you anymore.
pairing ‎⸝⸝⸝ levi ackerman x gn!reader 𓄵 iηcℓudᥱs 𓈓 onyankopon!
genre﹙📄﹚⸝⸝⸝ nurse! reader, ooc levi, grumpy levi with a massive crush, romantic relationship, uestablished relationship, mutual pinning, vague description of depression, hurt/comfort, fluff
buns’s note ‎⸝⸝⸝ if you think you seen this before, no you didn't. ( this is a repost / inspired by this post by @levisrations ♡♡ )
͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ︵͡ 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 (⌒‿⌒)♡
∿ [ 1.8k ] ⋆ [ continue on to . . . masterlist ]
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☆ LEVI ACKERMAN HAS NEVER has never thought the day that he falls in love would ever come. He thought his heart was too cold with the defensive walls he had built up during his time in the Survey Corps for that to happen. So imagine his surprise when you, the beautiful nurse that was assigned to look after him, managed to worm your way into his hardened heart and earned his affection over the months during his stay in the hospital. For the longest time, he has denied just how much he cares for you. Was it because he was scared? Or perhaps he believes he's too broken to ever give you the love that you deserve, his scars will just put a heavy burden on you. If he had to choose, he'll say both of these options are accurate.
He laid in his bed staring up at the ceiling, his mind plagued with thoughts of you. This has been happening more recently. Levi finds it hard to not think about how kind you are, your pretty smile, and your eyes... oh how they just draws him in whenever he caught a glimpse of them. The more he thinks about you the more he realizes that his chances of getting with you lowers. How could someone like you possibly feel the same as him? You're so caring and arguably the most beautifulest person he has met in his life.
The door slowly creaked open, drawing his attention towards the sound. He was met with the sight of you, peeking inside before you fully opened the door and took a step inside. “Y/n…” He whispers mostly to himself. He was glad to see you again, though he won't ever admit that outloud. The whole day, you were attending to something other than him. His day was spent counting the time down to the second until he saw you again. If he was telling the truth, he would rather that you only had to take care of him.
Looking at you up and down, he can't help but to let out a smile at the sight of you. Though his smile went unnoticed. Your eyes looked at him fondly paired with your usual smile that can light up any room, pulling him even more in. His eye unconsciously softened at the sight. What a sight for a sore eye…
“I got some good news,” You started excitedly as you made your way closer to his bed, leaning even closer to him. So close, that his face was coated with a light blush. “Go on.” Levi encouraged you to continue on. “You're getting discharged tomorrow! Isn't that great?” Levi's already small smile went away, replaced with a frown. Great…? How is this great? He won't be able to see you again…
As much as he won't admit it, he doesn't want to leave you yet. Not until he actually tells you how he feels. (Which probably would've taken years.) He couldn't help but scramble his brain for a reason to postpone, better yet, to make sure he doesn't get discharged at all. "I don't think it's a good idea," He paused for a second before finishing his thought. His gaze then fell upon his leg, your eyes following along. "I can't walk with this." You stared for a moment, then suddenly burst into a fit of giggles. You calmed down before talking, although your words still had a hint of laughter. "Don't worry about that, we have a wheelchair for that." Damn it, he has forgotten that Marley is more advanced. He kept his head down, looking for a better excuse.
"I'll leave you to get some rest." Your voice cut through his mind. Levi shallow hard, he looked up to call out to you only to see the door closing shut. There he goes, screwing up and missing his chance. He laid his head back down on the pillow, signing as he closed his eye, deep in thought. Levi wonders, what would have happened if he told you how he truly felt? Would you confess that you feel the same? Or would you just laugh at him… He doubts that'll happen though, you're way too nice to ever do that.
He tried to push the various thoughts to the back of his mind, trying to fall asleep.
Before he knows it, the sun has soon risen, filtering in the room through the curtains. Levi turned his head when the rays shone in his eyes. He closed his eyes and turned away. He hadn't slept all night, his thoughts keeping him up as usual. Except this time, they were filled with the pretty nurse. How today was the last day he'll probably ever see you again. At this point, Levi doesn't know how much more he can frown.
When he heard the door open, he didn't bother looking over. This was probably the first time in a while where he didn't want to see you. “Mr. Ackerman? Are you awake?” Your voice called out quietly. He turned over in bed and stared at you. Might as well have burned your image inside of his brain. Damn you for worming your way into his life… He got to admit through, these months with you were peaceful.
“We're nearly done.” What a shame. “Make sure to properly…” He zoned out, your instructions barely registering to him. All he can do is focus on your lips, oh how he wishes you'll kiss him. “You understand?” You finished off with a smile. “Of course.” It came out more harsh than he intended. You nodded before heading off to get the papers and other stuff. He didn't have enough time to miss you, you arrived quite fast with a wheelchair and some papers.
He didn't say anything when signing the papers and when he was assisted into the wheelchair. You noticed, but you didn't feel like it was your place to interject in his bidness. You have always thought of Levi as someone who doesn't like talking about his feelings. You sign before pushing him out of the room. “A man named Onyankopon is waiting for you. He'll take you home.” You were only met with a small ‘tch’.
Before he knew it, Levi was now in front of his new house in Marleyan.
Ever since leaving the hospital, Levi’s life felt dull and monotonous. He barely talked, didn't eat, and didn't get out of bed. He didn't even make an effort to clean up. The area around him is a mess. Yet, the clean freak didn't bat an eye at it. It was clear just how much this was affecting the raven-haired man.
Onyankopon was of course worried about the man, along with everyone else. The dark-skinned man knocked on Levi's door. “Levi?” He called out only to be met with silence. He signed and went back to the living room. Onyankopon thought for a moment before an idea popped up. He'll call you. Somehow and someway he managed to figure out that Levi must have liked you a considerable amount. The day that Levi had to leave the hospital, he stared at you with an indescribable look, as if he wanted to be with you for longer.
He went to the phone and dialed your number. You were surprised to receive a call from the man. “Hello? How can I help you?” When he told you about Levi and asked you to come check on him, you were worried but also cautious. You know just how grumpy Levi can get and you didn't want to intrude in his personal space. After a confirmation, you agreed and hurriedly made your way over to his house. For the short time you've known Levi, you have grown a soft spot for him. The walk there was quite long, but when you got there, you were greeted by a worried look from Onyankopon.
“He's in his room.” Onyankopon has told you before leaving, most likely to give you both space. You stride to his bedroom door and knock. “Mr. Ackerman?” You were met with silence besides the sound of bed sheets rustling. On the other side, Levi was laying in his bed before he suddenly heard your voice. He prek up and sat up slowly, looking at the door. He isn't exactly sure whether you're actually there or he was hearing things.
“Can I come in?” He was silent for a while before allowing you in. When you walked in, your eyes widened at the mess his room was. “Oh dear…” Levi turned away from your gaze, seemingly embarrassed. “Sorry about the mess…” His voice was weak from the lack of use. You shook your head at his small apology. “It’s okay, we'll take care of that.” Levi could've sworn at that moment that he had fallen in love all over again.
You have remembered that Onyankopon has told you that Levi hasn't had a proper meal for so long. “I'll get you something to eat.” All you got was a small nod and that was enough. You set off to the kitchen and made him a small meal. Along with that, you began to brew some tea for Levi, just the way he likes it. You walked back in with the food and tea and served it to him. “Thank you.” His voice was low but you can clearly hear how grateful he was. “You're welcome.”
Levi took a long sip of the tea. “No one makes tea like you.” He said between sips. I missed you. “Glad you missed me, I was lonely without your grumpiness.” You watched, as he enjoyed the meal and tea that you prepared.
When he was finishing up, you took the opportunity to clean up his room. During your time with him, you realized just how much Levi likes his space cleaned. While you busied yourself with tidying up, the raven-haired eyes were drawn to your figure.
After you were finished, you also got him cleaned up and dressed. Levi looks more alive and peaceful than when you first got here. “You should really care for yourself Mr. Ackerman.” You reprimanded him and crossed your arms.
“Levi.”
“Huh…?”
“Tch… Calling me Levi.”
You smiled. “Okay, Levi.” He liked the way his name rolled off your tongue. You both talked some more, the time has just passed by. It was time for you to go home. Levi was sad to see you go.
Suddenly, he felt a light kiss on his cheek. “Goodnight, Levi. I'll check on you soon.” He turned away as his cheeks flared up in color. “Goodnight.” He watches you exit with a small smile on his face. He can't wait for the next time.
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∿ [ continue on to . . . masterlist , taglist , request ] ︵͡ 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 (⌒‿⌒)♡
🏷️﹙ want to be added to my aot taglist? click here ﹚ - @lev1swife
© lev1buns - all rights reserved. do not repost on any social media sites, translate, or modify any of my works.
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cripplecharacters · 3 days ago
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CW for mentions body horror
I don’t do body horror much, but for one of my characters I wanted to branch out more and experiment with some. This character has heavy symbolism around bones, so I was thinking of trying out some skeletal themed body horror concepts. However, I’m wary that body horror, especially stuff that revolves around flesh and other human parts, often falls into a lot of disfigureism tropes. Do you know any major things to avoid when going about this?
Hi,
Monsters ≠ people with facial/body differences, if you're not giving them an actual Disability Trait then it just doesn't apply since there is nothing inherently in common these two have.
I've never looked at an actual rotting zombie character and thought "facial difference". That's just two completely separate concepts.
But I have looked at certain ideas of "zombies" in movies or "ghouls" in certain games and thought "oh, a caricature". Because they don't actually look like how people with facial differences look like, they're made grosser, nastier, repulsive. They're supposed to give the idea of how a person with a facial difference looks like and based on some fandoms I can tell that it works. It's pretentious to act like a "monster species" that's clearly meant to invoke the idea of a disabled person isn't ableist because it's not meant to be an actually disabled person. It's like when people get offended when you correctly spot a stereotype. "Do you think group X is actually like that, why would it remind you of them?!" Because I can tell who the author had in mind, that's why.
So, the question is, who or what do you have in mind when creating body horror? If it's a skeleton with skin on it, cool... does it share some suspicious resemblance to how people with skin conditions can look like? Because that's unnecessary and creates the aforementioned caricature. No one looks like these body horror things, but they're clearly based on us and turned up to 1000 with extra grossness put in for good measure.
Again, I don't want to have anyone to walk away from this thinking "people with facial differences are basically like these monsters", because that's not true. Every minority will have absurd, derogatory imagery that has nothing to do with reality and shouldn't be compared to, but again, it's pretentious to pretend that they aren't related to each other. It's not difficult to see the "inspiration" behind a lot of these things.
Simply think about what you do to get the "body horror effect" and ask yourself - what or who are you actually basing it on, and what or who does it resemble in the end? Is your "body horror" someone with teeth coming out of their eyes, ribs growing out of the ribcage through the skin, and meat hanging on bones, or is it someone without a nose, with weirdly textured skin, and empty eye sockets? Be real with yourself on what the inspiration for the "scary traits" is because one of these is body horror and the second one is a guy I know that people are scared of because they play too much shit indie horror games. If the scary trait is just a disabled human's trait, why the fuck is it considered scary in the first place?
Mod Sasza
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tommykinrd · 1 day ago
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anon here! i would CERTAINLY love a tutorial on your colouring!!
hi anon!! i'm honoured that you like my colouring 🥺🥹 i'll walk through colouring one of the tommy scenes you mentioned (3rd gif from this post), but i use the same steps for all my gifs, just with slight variations on the settings! i've also been enjoying cool backgrounds and warm skin tones lately, so that's the effect i aim to achieve!
this is the base gif that i'll be using, and this is after i apply my sharpening. tutorial under the cut:
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Section 1: Brightening and Contrast
these are the layers i use for this section and the order i apply them in:
Exposure
Curves: white eyedropper
Curves: black eyedropper
Exposure
Levels
Brightness/contrast
Exposure - so first i'll use an exposure layer and drag the top slider to the right. my settings are usually between 0 and 1 (i avoid going over 1!), and i try to get as much brightness as i can using this setting, without making the bright spots of the gif too white and glowy.
if there's bright patches in the gif (like the sunlight on tommy's face) i might use a slightly lower setting than the max brightness i can get (because we're going to add more brightness later).
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Curves: white eyedropper - next i use the white and black eye eyedropper tools, and this helps with minor colour correction as well as minor brightness/contrast (but does a lot of heavy lifting!). this tutorial explains how it works best.
the first curves layer is using the white eyedropper tool. you want to click on the white eyedropper (red square) and click on the brightest parts of your gif (red circles).
sometimes this isn't too easy to identify, so you can drag the little black toggle (cyan square) to the right, and this emphasizes the bright parts of the gif (make sure to undo this step!! it's just to help us with identifying the brightest areas!!)
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i then zoom into the bright part of gif (around his chin) so that i can see the individual pixels, and i try to select the brightest pixel. i usually select a pixel that has a yellow or pink tint, that way once the curves layer is applied, it counterbalances the tint.
tip: if you have any areas in your gif that are supposed to be white (e.g. a wall, a t-shirt, shoes, sometimes even eyes/teeth) it's a good idea to select a pixel from these areas.
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here's what we have so far
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as you can see, the curves layer got rid of the reddish tint on the gif and made the colours cooler.
Curves: black eyedropper - next we add a second curves layer, and this time we're doing the same thing but with the black eyedropper. we use the black eyedropper (red square) to select the darkest parts of the gif (red circles).
if you slide the white toggle (cyan square) to the left, this will help us identify the darkest part and especially helps us pick out the tints in the pixels (don't forget to undo this step after!!)
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so now i'm going to zoom in to the dark part of the gif where his hair is, with the white toggle dragged to the left so that i can see the tints. i think i made the gif slightly too cool in the previous step, so i'm going to choose a dark green/blue pixel to add back a little warmth.
tip: if you think the gif is still too reddish/yellow, then click on a dark red/brown pixel to remove more warmth.
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these are what the settings look like after i select that pixel. as you can see in the gif below, we added some of the warmth back as well as added some contrast.
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Alternate: auto curves layer - sometimes scenes just have ugly colours to start, and your white/black eyedropper tools won't make much of a difference. in these cases, i just skip using the eyedroppers, and just use the 'auto' button and then sometimes decrease the layer's opacity as needed.
Exposure - next i add a second exposure layer. my offset settings are always the same. i then drag the gamma correction toggle to the left. my settings are usually between 1.00 and 1.10, and never beyond 1.20. i don't touch the exposure toggle in this step!
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Levels - i first drag the white toggle to the left, adding as much brightness as the gif can take without making the white spots too glowy (sometimes as little as 250, usually never below 200). then i drag the middle toggle to the left to ease up on the contrast a bit (usually never more than 1.05, and definitely never more than 1.10). finally, i drag the black toggle to the right (sometimes as little as 4, usually never more than 10).
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Brightness/Contrast - i add these exact settings to almost every gif, unless it looks like the gif can't handle it.
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Section 2: Colour Correction
now we get to manipulate our colours! i keep my colour balance tabs and selective colour tabs on separate layers. you can do all the colour balance steps in one layer and all the selective colour steps in one layer, but i find it easier to modify when they're on separate layers. also if you use separate layers, the colours build on each other and you can get richer/brighter colours sometimes.
Colour balance: highlights
Colour balance: shadows
Colour balance: midtones
Hue/saturation
Selective colour layers (separate layers in this order): reds, yellows, magentas, cyans, blues, greens, whites, neutrals/blacks
Colour balance: highlights (cool) - so i start with the highlights, and drag the cyans slider to the left (usually not beyond -25), and yellows slider to the right (usually not beyond +25)
Colour balance: shadows (cool) - next i do the shadows on a new layer, and i usually end up doing -4, +2, +4 for the settings (cyans to the left, magentas to the right, and yellows to the right).
Colour balance: midtones (warm) - now this is where i add the warmth back in. i usually slide the cyans to the right, and yellows to the left, and i usually keep the values the same or very close together (so +6 cyans, -6 yellows, or +6 cyans, -5 yellows). i never go beyond a value of 10 for each slider.
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Hue/saturation (optional) - so in this gif i didn't touch this layer because we have the green leaves behind tommy. however, in other scenes where there's not supposed to be any green, i'll decrease the saturation on the green tab all the way, to get rid of any stray green pixels (personal preference!) with these settings:
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tip: if you go to the yellow tab and decrease the saturation, you can get a cool silvery effect, just be mindful of skin tones (you can usually correct for this later with selective colour)
Section 2.5: Selective colours
with selective colours i find it so subjective that idk if sharing the settings will even be helpful. instead i'll mainly go over my thought process when editing these. you'll need to understand what the sliders do to make good use of this step.
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Cyan slider: dragging to the left makes the colour more warm/red, dragging to the right makes it more cool/cyan.
Magenta slider: dragging to the left removes warmth and makes the colour more yellow/green, dragging to the right makes it more warm/magenta.
Yellow slider: dragging to the left decreases yellow, dragging to the right increases yellow.
Black slider: dragging to the left decreases contrast in that colour, dragging to the right increases contrast.
most of my selective colour adjustments are very minor!! my settings are usually in the +/- 5 to +/- 30 range, unless it's for select bright colours (magentas, blues, greens).
Editing skin tones
so i start with fixing the skin tones first before editing any of the other colours. i start with the reds tab and drag the cyan slider to the left to add warmth (if it's too red to start, i'll cool down the skin tone by dragging the cyan slider to the right).
i then drag the magenta slider slightly to the left (especially if their cheeks are really magenta). i drag the yellow slider slightly to the left as well if the person starts looking too yellow. for the black slider, if there's a lot of shadow/contrast in the skin, i'll drag it slightly to the left, otherwise i'll increase contrast by dragging it slightly to the right.
next in the yellows tab, i first go to the yellow slider and drag it slightly to the left, and stop before the person starts looking too pink. i then add more yellow back by dragging the black slider to the right. if i want more warmth, i drag the cyan slider to the left. if i want it cooler, i drag the cyan slider to the right.
2. Editing lips/cheeks/other features
in the magentas tab, i start with the magenta and yellow sliders at +100. i then drag the cyan slider to the left as needed. this step really makes lips pop if the person has some colour on their lips (it didn't do much for this gif of tommy).
3. Editing clothes/background
i then go to the cyans tab and set the cyan slider to +100. i drag the yellow slider to the left to make the cyans more blue (sometimes all the way to -100). if i want a darker colour, i drag the black slider to the right.
next i go to the blues tab and set the cyan slider to +100, and drag the yellow slider to the left as preferred. i sometimes drag the black slider to the right to make the colour darker.
i use the greens tab only if there's leaves/trees/grass in the background or if the characters are wearing green clothes (basically if green is a large part of the gif). i make the greens pop by setting the cyan and yellow sliders to +100. i drag the magenta slider slightly to the left, and the black slider slightly to the right.
4. More brightness and contrast
in the whites tab, i drag the black slider to the left (usually about -10 to -30), and sometimes i drag the yellow slider to the left (usually about -10 to -20). this is to make the white parts super white and not have a yellow tint.
however, some scenes have really bright white glowy spots (like the sunlight on tommy's face). in this case i'll drag the black slider to the right. i might also drag the cyan and yellow sliders to the left to get some of the skin colour back.
next in the neutrals tab, i only adjust the black slider. i use anywhere from -2 to -4 to make the gif brighter, or i use up to +3 to add contrast.
same thing for the blacks tab, i only adjust the black slider set from +2 to +4 to add contrast.
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Section 3: Final Touches
these settings usually never change:
Gradient map: gray to white (layer opacity: 20%)
Gradient map: black to white (layer opacity: 10%)
Vibrance (+25 vibrance, 0 saturation)
the opacity of the black to white gradient map layer can be decreased down to 5% if it makes the gif too dark.
Section 3.5: Optional Final Steps
Auto curves layer - i use the auto button on a new curves layer on top of all my other layers. i then change the layer opacity, usually around 20-30%, sometimes around 50-80%, and very rarely at 100%. this adds brightness/evens out the contrast.
Levels - sometimes i want to add back some more brightness and contrast, so i'll add a levels layer on top of all my other layers, dragging the white toggle slightly to the left, and black toggle slightly to the right (usually not more than +/- 10).
Selective colour - sometimes i'll add a final selective colour layer on top of everything else, to fix skin tones (so i edit the reds/yellows/magentas)
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there you have it! i know i use a lot of layers but i find that it gives me the most control over brightness, contrast, and colours. i hope this was helpful!!
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onlyangel4 · 2 hours ago
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life of pain. LL30. part one. smau + written.
liam lawson x chronically ill reader
reader has dealt with pain for as long as she can remember but what she did not respect was for her pain to be the reason she met her soulmate.
author's note: i shall be writing this from experience so reader suffers from elher's danlos syndrome, chronic pain syndrome and chronic fatigue syndrome. but if you have a different chronic illness please do imagine it as that
faceclaim: kristine froseth
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y/ninsta posted a story
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written: think i just won daughter of the year
y/ninsta posted a story
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written: pj day
y/bff replied to this story: are you alright y/n you only wear pjs all day when it is a tough day
y/ninsta: i'm okay just been suffering the past week
y/bff: aren't you going to vegas soon
y/ninsta: fly out tomorrow
y/bff: just be safe okay love don't push yourself too far
y/ninsta posted a story
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written: can't wait to celebrate you this weekend, love you dad
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y/ninsta posted a story
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written: fit check
y/ninsta posted a story
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written: finally here
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∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘
"great more walking", you whispered under your breath as you tucked your phone back into your handbag. this was not your dad's fault, he had no idea that you had hardly gotten out of bed all week and now you were in las vegas pushing your body to do things that it really did not want to do. your lids were already heavy, ready for bed and it was barely 9pm, a feeling that you were used to but would never feel normal.
you had decided that you wanted to get good pictures from this trip, so you had only packed heels, a cruel way of forcing your pained body to wear the fashionable shoe rather than slipping into your good old faithful worn out sneakers.
slowly weaving through the crowd you made sure to keep your head up and not slump shoulders, a way of making sure the shooting pain in your shoulder didn't get worse. but as you walked your eyes looked up to see a large group of people walking towards you, they already looked drunk. fucking brilliant.
you just continued to walk forward feigning importance with each step but even then you got shoved by one of the men. your brow furrowed, no one got to disrespect you like that. you turned to get a look at the man who had shoved you and give him a piece of your mind but you quickly regretted that choice.
you twisted badly on your right near and as you were in heels there was no stopping your right knee from dislocating. something that happens all the time but does not get any less painful. your joint quickly popped out of place and then back in but the damage was done as a yelp left your lips and you crumbled down to the floor.
the people in the paddock were too preoccupied with the excitement that comes with attending a formula one race that they just did not notice you on a crumpled heap on the ground hand grasping your knee just to make sure that it was properly back in place.
you were getting yourself ready to stand back up all by yourself when you noticed a blonde man with his eyes looked on you making a beeline towards you. "shit are you alright, you took quite a spill there", he spoke and your brain registered the accent instantly. "i'm okay i do stupid stuff like this all the time", you spoke and the man gave you a gentle smile, "what exactly happened that looked a little more than a small fall?"
"my dislocated", you spoke seeing the usual horror spread on his face.
"shit do i need to call an ambulance"
"no, like i said this happens all the time"
the man looked at you with pure concern on his face, you could practically see the cogs turning in his head as he tried to work you out.
"i have elhers danlos, you probably have never heard of it but it just means my joints like to dislocate all the time"
prince charming slowly nodded, "okay lets get you up and then i can help you find your friends"
"i'm here with my dad, he text me saying he was in the williams garage. i was trying to find him"
"okay i'll help you find him", he spoke before wrapping his arm around your waist.
"if you are going to touch me like that i better know your name mister", you teased as you heaved yourself up into a standing position.
the man looked a little taken back by your question almost like you should have known who he was, "i'm liam", he smiled
"nice to to meet you liam, i'm y/n", you spoke before beginning the walk with him, his arm still around your waist, just helping you keep your balance as you hobbled over towards the williams garage.
the walk to the garage was really nice, liam was asking you all sorts of questions like where you were from and what your medical condition really meant for you. you yapped on about your life, enjoying the man's company as you got to the williams garage.
your father was stood outside eyes searching for you but when he spotted you and your company his mouth opened wider, "Oh y/n", he called out as you and liam approached him.
"you worried me girl, did something happen", he spoke still side eyeing liam making you quirk an eyebrow.
"i'm okay, my knee dislocated, i'm fine though", you spoke knowing how worried your father got sometimes.
but your father was a little more focused on the man next to you, "liam", he spoke, "it is lovely to meet you", he smiled and you frowned a little, how did your father know liam?
"i am very happy to see you back in f1, you drive brilliantly"< your father spoke and you gasped.
"shit, you are liam lawson, the new rb driver", you spoke turning to him, "i am so sorry i didn't recognise you, i am a casual f1 fan, my dad here is the real superfan", you explained to the man rambling on a little bit.
"that is okay y/n it was kind of refreshing to meet someone that doesn't know who i am", he spoke kindly, "i'm going to have to head back over to the garage for some media bits but i was wondering if i could have your number. i could hustle you two seats in the rb garage for the race", he spoke, "it will a lot safer there for you", he smiled.
your father was looking at you two starstruck and you just nodded, "of course", you spoke before he gave you his phone and you plugged your number in, "thank you for helping me liam", you spoke before waving him goodbye.
he left you stood there stunned as your father asked you ever question under the sun about your interaction with the driver.
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∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘
@bibissparkles
@milkysoop
@hadids-world
@callsignwidow
@barcelonaloverf1life
@queen-of-the-hunt
@piastrams
@kravitzwhore
@a-beaverhausen
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@formulaal
@azeal-peal
@magical-spit
@that-one-little-soybean
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@exotic-iris13
@natashaalinovaromanoff1984
@colmathgames2
@ajordan2020
@sltwins
@nichmeddar
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ennn · 24 hours ago
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Finale predictions for Agatha All Along
Time to lock in your bets! Here's what I guess/expect will happen based on shots from trailers/promos. 'Tis in good fun and some of these I'm definitely more confident about than others -- under a cut because this post is a long one:
The Earth trial in episode 8 is focused on Billy because he is part of the coven. I expect it to tackle the question raised of "Am I Billy or am I William?" I mean, we know he's both but I'm sure they'll execute a dramatic answer. I'm guessing Agatha's grabbing his head for a spell to unlock his suppressed memories and power.
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The trial should still have a heavy death theme (the characters emerge from body bags when entering the area). Someone (apologies i forgot who) mentioned that it makes sense because Billy should be dead and in the earth. The danger of the trial is being buried alive.
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At some point during the trial I guess Agatha tells Billy and Jen something about Nicky as there's a promo shot with her holding the locket open and saying "death". I assume both Billy and Jen hear this as there seems to be only one big cell of a room. Yay coven bonding time!
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I guess we'll get a split of Agatha backstory flashbacks across Episode 8 and 9. I do expect an Agatha and Rio flashback kiss happening in 8 and flashbacks would make sense if Agatha's telling her story to the two of them during 8.
So, we know from ep 7 that there are ways to leave the Road without completing it.
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Given we get a shot of Jen crawling out of the ground at what looks like the outskirts of Westview near the town sign, I'm guessing Agatha's going to get Jen and Billy off the Road before the End by tricking or outmanoeuvring them somehow (credit to @trickofthelights for this idea by the way).
Agatha's actually trying to keep them safe from Death but they'll think she's a manipulative asshole (just when they were bonding!). I call it the Bad Wolf / The Parting of the Ways plot thing.
Before they split Billy gets a clue of what Agatha's up to when his mind-reading power unexpectedly kicks in – the setup I talked about here. Either Agatha is too distracted in the moment to shield her mind or she deliberately does so to give him a hint.
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There's also a promo shot of Billy doing his blue magic over what looks like the entrance to the Road. He's wearing different clean clothes so I guess he and Jen have been out of the Road long enough to clean up and probably work out what Agatha's really up to. I'm guessing Billy's doing something to help Agatha or influence the Road. He's emotional enough that his magic kicks in. Probably where he suits up as Wiccan.
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Agatha and Rio face off in the final "battle" and Agatha gets absolutely wrecked because throwing hands with Death with zero powers ain't gonna work any better the second time.
I doubt the fight will be a straightforward one, even after Agatha gets her powers back. Schaeffer doesn't like simple, black-and-white conflicts. See: the Black Widow movie and Wandavision where even Agatha who was really being self-serving made valid points.
And I don't think Death herself can be defeated in a conventional sense. As a genre-savvy rule, even if you are able to, binding or trapping or hindering a personification of Death is usually a bad thing (can you believe I looked up the recent Puss in Boots movie for further validation on this). You shouldn't mess with Death because it messes with the natural order and witches are supposed to be rooted in nature.
My guess is with Rio some kind of balance needs to be restored, Agatha owes some kind of debt that needs to be paid – before the Road can give her what she needs. This goes back to the initial concept Schaeffer had before Rio of a "debt collector".
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I'm also still hanging onto my theory that something is up with that crystal gem thing Death looks to be holding now but was previously wearing. What is that in her left hand?
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dykedvonte · 23 hours ago
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wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment
Thank you and this is what I want to get across.
A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.
I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.
He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.
He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.
Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?
Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.
#i do believe Anya was a victum to Jimmy more than once before the crash but the game plays wit the sort of fear of waiting and stagnation#i believe the reason she decided to tell him was becasuse she finally broke down and tested to see if she was pregnant after one too many#signs and its why she went to hide the gun because she knew now that there was proof of what Jimmy did and was he would do anything to#cover it up and while she also didn't want the baby there was no sure fire way to safely induce a miscarriage or abortion cause shes smart#enough to know that hence her reading the illusion of choice and taking measures to protect herself#but in the hypothetical it was a one time occurence I think Jimmy would act like one single mistake shouldn't define him and Anya thinks#that if she did something sooner or said something sooner than she or Curly could've stopped all of it but that the hard thing taking actio#its so hard to be preventative to a person like they also have the autonomy to do things and no one on the ship is okay with actively takin#that away outside of Jimmy that its just a delicate issue and people act like it was a conscious choice not to help when he just helped#wrong he did wrong by not immediately punishing Jimmy but at the same time did he even fully get it yet? Jimmy immediately got into his hea#after like the sound design right before he confront him is telling like every track sort of gives you the feeling of the characters where#we cant see their thoughts because again the only two characters pov we get are Jimmy's and Curly's and even then we only get Curly's thru#the responsibilites he has to take like he is always tasked with something because thats his role but we rarely see him do something off hi#own volition cause hes a metaphorical cog in many of the machines the games comments on but he's not actively pulling a switch#also i think people latch on to the we can both be heros things too much when analyzing Curly because Curly very much is not happy being th#leader and current “hero” of the Tulpar he just wants out in a way that doesn't hurt and while he is still responsible for not doing more#the idea he could've easily nipped this in the butt acts like Jimmy was not a beast of his own and that he made Jimmy into the person he wa#vs the fact that Jimmy is a person on his own right that makes these choices others are forced to take responsibility for when he simply c#couldve not done evil shit like at the end of the day Curly is not perfect but not nearly or remotely as bad as Jimmy because for that hed#have to not care hed have to not have tried hed have to not try to take responsibility and he did just not in the right way but thats#subjective to the person and you can only realize you did fuck up after the results are before you and its tragic like this game is a#a tragedy no matter how you try and spin it. There's lessosn to be learnt but at the end of the day it telling the worst moments of peoples#lives and the certain inevitabilities that come with it#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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mihhkael · 11 months ago
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⚠️Gore_
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Forwarding my 'Medic has Fucked Every Member of the Team' Propaganda
Consider.
I feel like every team member has had a Medic Experience (TM)
How it happened? Idk. Prostate check up gone wrong (right!), throat check up gone sexual (Ah just let me test your gag reflex here), he caressed my organs one thing led to another, etc, etc
Either way it was a good experience that for sure caused some revelations from "Wow I am kinkier than I thought!", to "Damn I didn't even think to try that! (Didnt think the human body could do that??)' Medic rly is a freak.
And given that at least everyone has gone in for a "check up" (some more than once) it's kinda just an unspoken thing.
Until Heavy and Medic start dating ('officially' anyway. Let's be real they were always married) and now everyone now has to subconsciously grapple with the awkwardness. Like. Does he know? Should they say anything? How do you even say "Hey your husband rawed me good and probs everyone else too." Let alone to a man who could rip off your limbs.
So it remained an open secret.
Until one day someone (you can decide who the sacrificial lamb is) is going in for a check-up (Heavys in the room just reading in the corner) and it's clear that Ludo (hoe that he is) is trying to turn it into one of those "check-ups" and oh my lawd Heavy is RIGHT THERE WHATAREYOUDOING- and he's coming over and- Oh. Oh okay.
Yeah so turns out Heavys into it and Medic Experiences(TM) becomes HeavyMedic Experiences (TM).
Sorry for writing so much, hoping you've been indoctrinated into my HeavyMedic swingers cult (half convinced they're all poly anyway)
Anon I need a Medic Experience(tm) to happen to me so Fucking badly ohhhh my God
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fettery-fetterie · 3 months ago
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GIRL HELP WDYM I REACHED 30 TAGS??????? OMG???? I WASN'T EVEN DONE YET
ANYWAYS 31st: and that compared to a relationship where the communication lines are basically none or very fucking weak then yeah it is an upgrade I think. Idfk I was never in a relationship I'm just picking from the ones I've seen in my life
#it's like that one image i saw#under read more too bc i don't wanna get jumpscared#anyways i wanted to say#one thing is that I've been kinda into hlevpeka (how do you even call that?) for like. 2 years? 3?#it's just that it kinda fell off for me once i started thinking about the possibilities of hlevteo (which was around the end of 2023 so)#but ig the myth hunt trio as a whole is kinda making me pick it back#definitely the most underdeveloped out of the 3 tho. i have no idea what could lead to the same guy have weird shit going on with himself#well probably it is a want to learn about himself or something#they were separate for a good while so ig they wanna pick things back and learn together#what makes them them and what they like for themselves#and who can know you better than yourself (?) idk it's weird i need a good excuse still#anywayyyyys#I've also been thinking about something for hlevteo#like bc i want it to have significant differences over teopeka (healthier ones at that) and i think one of them would be like. transparency#and sincerity and “truth” (if you really wanna tie it back to myth hunting)#bc i feel they'd reach a point where they like. can be open with each other right#and i feel that'd amount to like. knowing stuff nobody else does#like teo would tell hlev like. oh yeah me and peka have been around for almost a decade now. yeah it was a very weird thing for those times#i think the reason why im even here with you is bc you remind me of him. ig i just gravitate towards you#and hlev would be like yeah dw it's fine. y'know you also kinda remind me of someone. of like- oh that's gonna be weird to explain#and then he explains to her the whole. Thing. about being a protagonist#and she'd be like “oh huh well alright. that's one more existencial crisis for me. anyways what does that have to do with anything#and he'd be like “yeah ok so the reason why i think im also around you is bc of the power dynamic(?) we have#like you're my boss still and i honestly like that? I think all those years of feeling helpless and powerless have kinda taken a toll on me#and she'd be like “oh huh alright i guess that makes sense. that's kinda sad tho”#(heavy projecting there with That Man™ but it's whatever)#anyways what im trying to say it's that like. it's not that the motives behind the attraction are healthier?#it's moreso the fact they explained them at length to each other that kinda is? bc then they can work from there right?#like they can like. at minimum make them not devolve into something obnoxiously bad
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barkingangelbaby · 5 months ago
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venting so much i ran out of tags lmao
#i think im hallucinating ?????#i have my headphones on (listening to boyfeel on repeat n choppin up some paper)#and keep feeling / seeing shadows in my peripheral vision#im probably just dehydrated and having bad floaters but i dont like it :)#today has also been bad dramatically awful#life isn't serious there's no reason to feel this heavy#oop very emo thoughts incoming#life can't be meaningful or ill miss my parents too much but can't be meaningless or im living without them for nothing#im just. struggling very hard this year. idk#i had so much health bullshit going on for months that i put off going to a psych n now im so busy that it feels bad taking time off for it#and im also scared of getting on meds bc the idea of being dependent on something that i might not have access to is.. auuughhh#idk dude my adhd has been debilitating lately and i feel so stuck and sometimes i think i have ocd bc my compulsions are so fucking bad and#all my mental bullshit with my breathing has slowly been driving me wild and peaks my anxiety#and sometimes i worry abt being bipolar bc my mom's mom is and my mom's best friend told me she thought my mom might have been#bc the way my moods are so low or so high is exhausting it feels like i haven't had a “normal” day in so long#but also atp when im happy i feel manic bc idk how to healthily experience happiness anymore#idfk y'all !!!! im also very nonverbal these days#ugh and still going back n forth on telling my therapist ive been suicidal again bc i dont want him to have to report me or anything idk#a few months ago i made a joke about offing myself and he got rly serious n said he'd have to take action if im serious so im leaning no#like. i wouldnt actually kill myself. i just don't want to exist sometimes in this life#its just been very very very very very very very very very very very very very very hard lately without my parents or grandma#and even after all these years it's still heartwrenching to think about continuing to live this life without them#like. i just want to make them laugh. i just want to feel their arms around me in a warm hug. i just want to dance to their favorite songs.#i don't want to think of them and see their dead bodies anymore. i want to remember them healthy and smiling.#i would take care of them again in every lifetime but fuck dude. i just want to remember their good days instead of the end. can i please#please fucking invision them at their best. i want to remember the dad that played baseball and video games and whose laugh filled the room#i want to remember my grandma who was so sassy but kind. whose button nose crinkled when she smiled. who taught me to happily be dramatic#i don't want to remember them being frail. i want to forget the frustration i saw in their eyes. i want to forget seeing them struggle#(insert sadness about not remembering my mom at all)#just. fuck dude. my life is simple and i am safe so i shouldn't complain. but things feel so fucking hard sometimes. i feel so heartbroken
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beastsovrevelation · 7 months ago
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I was looking through my notes for Good Omens fanfiction, and realized almost every damn story includes Crowley having a baby.
There's the one where Heaven and Hell decide to use an angel baby carried by a demon as a diplomatic tool, leading into Crowley being protected by Michael, and them falling in love.
There's the one where she leaves her baby with Anathema and disappears, which triggers all the following events - from the search, to Aziraphale's trial, and everything else.
There's the one where she has to supply the new Antichrist, which leads to her and Lucifer falling in love, and her being crowned the Queen of Hell. (Well, this one is really two stories set in different timelines, in the second one the "baby" is like 27)
In the one inspired by a dream, she does have a baby eventually, but that's far from the worst thing that happens to her. Gabriel's treatment of her after is... How the Hell will I write this damn thing if I can't even think about it.
There's no baby in the one where she gets tortured with diluted holy water.
I see I have no storyline with male Crowley just yet... Fine, that's not true. I do have some thoughts for Crowley x Fem!Lucifer... It could include a new Antichrist, too. And, Crowley wouldn't be the pregnant one for once. But, dealing with pregnant Lucifer would probably be even scarier.
#diary pages#writing journal#fanfiction writer#ao3 writer#good omens fanfiction#good omens fandom#crowley#good omens crowley#lady crowley#fem!crowley#writers on tumblr#writer life#ffs what's with me and torturing miss/mr. snake#she's either pregnant or she's in some horrible situation or actually it's both#yes i feel damn guilty for doing that but i can't help it#in first two bullet points the dad is aziraphale but he screws up (without even knowing it) so michael steps in...#in the first one and not immediately as a love interest at first just as a protector#don't worry she's in on using the kid for politics and crowley know's there's drama#the second i'd rather not spoil because of the detective/investigation plot#hey but she chose michael herself she was supposed to be with hastur#in the antichrist one all is obvious and honestly it's one of those “good for her” stories for crowley#but in the time jump she is kind of riddled with worry for maxine fearing she'll burn out and so on#grr the dream storyline... the dad is gabriel and don't worry in the end she ditches him i can spoil that this story is so heavy#this story is the ugly crowing jewel of my frustration with crowley saving aziraphale over and over again#what she does to protect him here almost ends up killing her or breaking her it's... seriously no idea how i'll write it#i'm also worried people will think i'm romanticising it when it's supposed to leave the reader sickened like i am#no comment on the holy water thing rn it's a simple hurtfic that develops into a survivor - the previous one is survivor in the end too#i haven't given too much thought for the crowley/f!lucifer but it should be good#fr hell would be so frustrated she chose this moron as her king consort but could do nothing about it#her pregnant would be SCARY - she's terrifying already... well terrifying and to die for
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mainfaggot · 1 year ago
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just spent 1 hour and 20 minutes making cringe fail conversation with my crush I think I'm overwhelming to be around also she does not like me guys this is bad
#i was leading the conversation and asking her questions about her degree/life/family/hobbies#ALSO WTF WE GRADUATED FROM THE SAME HS#so i chatted w her about that too#but i noticed i asked nearly every single question. otherwise it was silent#but not awkwardly silent? like she seemed comfortable in the silence but i felt awkward#like i was imposing on her peace...#also i was trying so hard to be slightly humourous but not self deprecating#and also to not talk about myself#too much..#god i think i was too obviously nervous and talkative#i just cant stand the silence its too heavy for me..#i don't think shes half as interested in me as i am in her#i also don't think my interest comes from a good place.#honestly.#i kind of just want to be understood by someone#and she very well could be not the right person for that. like for me#it's kind of like my interest in her is selfish and projecting this idea on to her#i think it would be best if we could just . become friends first so i can sort my shit out in the meantime#but i dont think she needs anymore friends#again. it feels like im entering her space and that shes graciously allowing me to do so#more out of pity than out of genuine willingness#kind of like i was acting with this other classmate#but to be fair that other classmate and i dont talk anymore bc i pitied her social ineptitude and she ended up being homophobic and racist#i didn't view myself as her savior or anything but it was arrogant of me to stick around bc i felt sorry for her(?)#arrogant or .. i dont know I genuinely felt bad for her bc she reminded me of myself before i learned how to wear a mask in social settings#i dont feel bad though she was an asshole#anyway what the fuck should i kill myself#z.post
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