#But I don't rly want the small ones
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murderballadeer · 1 month ago
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would it be terribly immature to make my friends go bowling with me to celebrate my 22nd birthday
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bisexualgenderfemme · 3 months ago
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always makes me sad when ppl outright decide to never try hrt (even tho they want to & even tho they could abstractly & even tho they're definitely dysphoric now) bc it 'wont do much'
you don't know that!! you don't! it could do everything! & also? you HATE yourself now! isn't /anything/ better than nothing? I'm not saying it's not hard, or that there's not obstacles, or that it'll be a huge wild drastic change leaving u unrecognizable. I'm just saying: you do not know what hrt can do for you until you try it.
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gensymscribes · 1 year ago
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really trying to convince myself that i need a job even if i have to work 6 days a week and only get around 12-15 hours notice for each shift so i can't plan anything in advance and never get to do anything outside of the house other than work
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v-iv-rusty · 2 years ago
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on one hand I know that being lonely is a problem that can only be solved by putting yourself out there and making an effort to build bonds, and that at the end of the day it is ultimately on me to reach out no matter how impossible or foreign it feels. on the other hand none of the social situations I am in on a regular basis seem to really ever involve anyone I want to get to know better
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arolesbianism · 9 months ago
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Man oni is legitimately so fun to play and learn, even for an inpatient lil shit like myself who doesn't like doing things in fancy ways, as it rly is such a replayable game to me as each time I get a bit more ambitious and patient with my runs. Each time I start a new save, I know how to solve the immediate problems a little bit faster, and I know how to deal with my future problems better, and as a result am left with more time where I can just like fuck around and find out, and I've been enjoying the hell out of that
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spirograffe · 7 months ago
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hey besties, if it does not seem to u that ur therapist thinks that their job is to make ur life better and reduce how ur symptoms impede the shit u want to do in ur life, then that therapist is not right for u!
ur psychiatrist's job is to medicate u (and also hopefully listen to ur concerns about ur meds and take them seriously!!!), but ur therapist's job is to make sure u have the tools to feel as safe and comfortable as possible in ur circumstances, with or without medication. your therapist should be encouraging you to set boundaries with people who hurt you, to communicate ur feelings openly and clearly, to identify those feelings and be able to work through them in healthy ways (finding alternatives to self harm and/or substance abuse, etc). if none of this is happening for you in therapy, you need to either have a serious talk w ur therapist about what ur needs and goals are, or you need to find a new therapist!!!
i know that this isn't easy and in some instances there may not even be another therapist available for you, and that rly sucks!! but if you are not getting what you need from therapy, you unfortunately need to advocate for yourself to be able to get those things. not all therapists are good at their jobs, but that doesn't mean that there ISN'T a therapist out there who is right for you <3
I believe medication and therapy is good, but my god is it exhausting being put on meds that constantly fuck me up and give me genuine health issues. I was pressured into taking antipsychotics and they worked for awhile but I started to get severe side effects/health issues and when bringing this up to my psychiatrist she just wanted me to take them in the morning. 😭
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autobahnmp3 · 2 years ago
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im back and i have my supplies!
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osaemu · 1 year ago
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GOJO SATORU: ❛❛ KISS IT BETTER ❜❜
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.ೃ࿐ streamer!au: he's surprisingly popular with kids, even if he doesn't quite know how to behave around them.
contents: fem!reader. he curses a couple times in front of the kid :&lt;;
author's note: i don't rly like this one but it's fluff and we could all use a little fluff in our lives ꨄ︎
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"why is it so... small?"
you snicker at satoru's question and watch the kid exploring his room waddle around. one of his mom's friends asked him to watch her kid, so naturally, the first thing satoru did was call you. after all, he's basically the last person you'd want alone with a small child.
"she's so cute," you coo, hopping on satoru's bed and lying down on your stomach. the child in question turns her head and looks at you with soft doe eyes and tilts her head like a puppy. "aw, satoru, c'mere and look at her!"
your boyfriend shakes his head, still seated in front of his computer. satoru's not live right now, but he's focused on his screen as he jumps and dodges various obstacles. "can't right now, give me a sec— what the fuck?"
"language!" you hiss, sliding off of his bed and covering the small girl's ears. 
she looks up at your curiously, and in the cutest voice possible, repeats satoru's words with a wide smile. "what the fuck?"
it's all you can do to stop yourself from bursting into a fit of laughter, but as expected, satoru doesn't have that kind of self-restraint. when the girl says fuck, satoru laughs so hard that he leans back in his chair, not even noticing how another user eliminates him a second later.
"shit, that's so— sorry, i'm sorry!" satoru snorts, eyes tearing up with laughter. you glare at him and bite down your smile before snatching a pillow off his bed and hurling it at him. satoru catches it with one hand and buries his face in it to muffle his laughter.
you swat his shoulder with one hand and take the little girl's hand in the other as you plop down on the corner of satoru's bed. it's almost painful to swallow back the laughter threatening to tear you apart, but you figure that out of you and satoru, one of you has to be the mature one.
so you scoop up the little girl and hold her in your lap as she flutters her eyelashes at you innocently. you tap her nose and lean in, almost melting at the way she smiles back at you. 
"don't listen to him," you sigh, sticking your tongue out at satoru, who's still laughing away. he makes a face back at you, and, to his delight, the kid mimicks his expression.
"baby, you were so right," satoru snickers as he hops off his plush chair and strolls over to where both of you sit on the edge of his bed. he flicks the girl's forehead, but thankfully, his touch is gentle and feather-light. satoru's eyes soften as he studies the kid, and to your surprise, he lifts her out of your lap and ruffles her hair.
"she's so adorable," he whines, letting the girl pinch his cheek. satoru turns and widens his eyes at you in adoration. "i wanna keep her!"
you roll your eyes affectionately and stand up, leaning against his side and scrunching up your nose at the girl. "don't you have a game to get back to?" you huff.
"what game?" he replies, preoccupied with the child in his arms. satoru leans his face in closer to hers, and to your surprise and delight, she swats him in the nose. "oww, the fuck was that for?" he wails. satoru looks at you and pouts, glaring at the smiling child. "i think i need a kiss to make the pain go away," he says hopefully, eyes focusing on you. 
"am i really taking care of two kids?" you grumble, leaning in and kissing him on the nose. satoru nudges his nose against yours and his lips gently brush against your mouth.
you give satoru a second to enjoy your personal space, and then you shove him away. "we have an audience," you deadpan, gesturing at the girl still in his arms. her eyes look like they're fluttering closed, and her features soften with sleepiness.
satoru sticks out his tongue and sets down the girl on his bed, nestling her head in one of his many pillows and tucking her in. "you don't have a problem with me kissing you in front of eight thousand people," he huffs. 
"that's different!"
"no it isn't!"
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espresso1patronum · 3 months ago
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I think there's been a glitch
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megumi fushiguro! x f!reader (best friends to lovers?)
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summary: you were supposed to be just friends. yes, you and megumi. you were both supposed to be normal high school classmates, with nothing more than platonic feelings between the two of you. you were his best friend, and you swore you'd never fall for him. so how did you end up pinned against him on his bed? this definitely isn’t the typical situation for best friends, is it?
warnings: afab!reader, swearing/cursing, both the reader and megumi are eighteen, best friends to lovers trope, high school au, teenagers being totally oblivious, fluff, hurt/comfort, slow burn?
word count: 17.9k (HELP)
a/n: based on a small drabble i wrote and ya'll requested if i could make it a fic, your wish is my command so here it is. this is the first part and there will be a second one. guys i'm totally in love with this one. it's rly cute and it's my bbg<3 i love how stupid and oblivious they are haha
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"you asshole! give me my notes back!" you yelled as you ran and somehow caught up to megumi, pulling on his bag.
"your notes?" he scoffed. "they're mine, and you stole them from me," he said, yanking you off of him.
you rolled your eyes. "haha, yeah, they are your notes and maybe i did steal them from you, but still—why'd you take 'em back?" you said, trying to grab the papers from his hands, but he held onto your wrist, preventing you from doing so.
megumi sighed. "because they're mine? tsk..idiot; don't you have anything else to do other than annoy me every morning?"
yes, this was a typical morning for the both of you as you walked to school. you being the pesky little brat you were, and him being the nonchalant grump he was.
you’d practically known each other since elementary school, back when you were just six. you first met him when the teacher asked you to recite a poem, and you got stuck halfway through, while everyone else laughed—except for him. you were a stubborn girl back then, and you thought his lack of laughter meant he was being kind and wanted to be friends. but no, the truth was, he simply didn’t care.
but that didn’t stop you from becoming friends with him. in fact, he was the most mature six-year-old you’d ever met, with a sharp tongue to match. when he reluctantly agreed to be friends, you soon realized he had trouble connecting with other kids. yet, despite that, you two became inseparable, and ever since, you’ve been best friends. now, here you were, in the final semester of high school.
megumi was, without even trying, one of the most popular guys in school. despite being incredibly introverted and aloof, you couldn’t help but wonder how he managed to attract so much attention. his looks and academic performance turned heads, earning him the admiration of nearly every girl. and you? you felt like you might throw up. how could they like him? your stupid best friend? (you very well knew he was much smarter than you, but you couldn't help but despise all that attention he got)
you, on the other hand, were known as "the best friend of the cool guy"—the so-called cool guy. you absolutely hated that label. because you spent so much time with him, guys never showed interest in you, assuming you were dating him. it made you furious, especially now that high school was almost over, and you were already eighteen and you had never dated a guy. never. and you blamed megumi for that. maybe because he was always around you.
things have got to change or else i'll die single, alone and miserable. you thought.
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"...and that’s how christopher columbus discovered america in 1492," your history teacher, professor yaga, announced. history was by far the most boring subject in your opinion. you could easily sleep through the entire class and never miss a thing. and that’s exactly what you were doing—dozing off while some students listened attentively, megumi being one of them, others pretending to pay attention, and a few, like you, already asleep. but of course, professor yaga had to single you out. "y/n! wake up, you sleepyhead!" he called out, tossing a piece of chalk at you.
"no, i didn't steal your candy-" you muttered, still half-asleep as you rubbed your eyes. the other kids couldn't help but laugh at your groggy response. professor yaga raised an eyebrow, his tone sharp. "you do realize this will land you in detention, miss l/n?"
you snapped awake, panic flooding your chest as you scrambled for an explanation. "please, sir, i swear i won't do it again," you pleaded, your voice almost a whisper.
fuck it, you fell asleep again.
he let out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "fine. but you'll submit your report tomorrow as your punishment." you nodded quickly, relief washing over you. it wasn't the worst outcome, but it was fair enough.
you felt that the world wasn't fair to girls like you. you weren't very social, and on top of that, you weren't the best academically—good, but not enough to meet your parents' expectations. you had zero experience with dating, and to make matters worse, you were a bit of a mess and a huge crackhead, sure that you probably weirded people out.
you had watched those romantic movies that nobara had forced you to watch. in them, the female lead's problems were always solved with the perfect kiss. you couldn't help but wonder, when am i ever going to experience that? when?
with megumi tagging along all the time with you, you wondered if you'd ever actually get a boyfriend.
your thoughts were interrupted as the bell rang, and you felt a tug behind you. "what do you want, fushiguro?" you asked, glancing as megumi sat down beside your bench.
"you might want to stay awake during history lectures, or you'll fail, idiot," megumi said nonchalantly.
"why do you care?" you replied, crossing your arms. "it's not like you're concerned for me, right?"
he deadpanned at you. "gojo will probably kill me then- 'it's your fault she couldn't concentrate,' he'll say."
"ugh, i knew it," you groaned, leaning on the table with your hands pressed to your forehead. "you don't give a fuck about me."
no. in fact, megumi did care about you a lot. it’s just that you were oblivious, and he was particularly good at hiding it. of course, megumi would care about the one person who knew him so well and liked him for who he truly was, even if you two often bickered over small things. that’s what best friends are supposed to be like, after all.
"no one does care, do they?" you asked, your face propped up on your chin as you scanned the classroom. megumi couldn't have bothered less, but you thought there were still yuji and nobara who would care for you.
megumi sighed. "stop being like this and get your miserable ass up," he said, walking away.
"wait for me, megumi!" you said dramatically, pretending to struggle as you tried to get up from your chair.
you followed him out into the hallway, arms crossed and brows furrowed as you shot him a sideways glance.
"umm..do you think i'll ever get a boyfriend?" you asked, the words slipping out before you could stop them.
megumi barely looked at you as he walked, but you could swear you saw the tiniest smirk tug at his lips. "i don't know," he said, his tone flat. "with that attitude? probably not."
you threw your hands up in exaggerated frustration, swatting at his shoulder. "shut up, asshole!"
just then, a girl from another class caught sight of you both and grinned. "are you two dating? cute," she said, and suddenly, the world felt way too small as you both froze—embarrassed, awkward, and a little bit… cringe.
"no!" you both yelled at the same time, quickly glancing at each other before looking away, the tension hanging in the air.
it wasn't the first time. "are you and megumi a thing? you guys look cool together," people would ask, and every single time, you'd feel that weird mix of frustration and confusion.
megumi. your boyfriend? yeah, right. the idea was so ridiculous that you couldn't even picture it. the thought of it had you laughing to yourself. the thing was, megumi didn’t see you as a... girl. you’d both grown up together, shared countless memories, and spent more time bickering than anything else. to him, you were just you—his childhood friend, someone he’d known forever.
it didn’t matter how many times people asked or joked about you two being a couple. in megumi's eyes, you were always just��� one of the guys. no, his guy. that's all. and maybe that was part of the problem.
you didn’t blame him, of course. it wasn’t like you had any experience with relationships either. but the more you thought about it, the more you realized how complicated it would be if things did ever change. that's why you swore not to fall for him. you told yourself over and over that it was just too complicated, that things would never work out between you two. you had a good friendship with megumi. that's all you wanted, nothing more than that. you couldn't risk messing it up.
and it wasn’t just you. megumi, in his own quiet way, had sworn the same thing. he was scared—scared that if things changed, if feelings got involved, he might lose you. and losing you was something he couldn’t even think about.
"i almost gagged," you muttered, shaking your head in disbelief. megumi nodded in agreement, his expression unmoved. "i know, right? how can people say such absurd things?" he scoffed, the words dripping with arrogance. "you're a fool and i'm too good for you."
you shot him a glare, as you lunged towards him, practically trying to choke him.
"dare say that again, you—" you growled, stopping just short of him, eyes narrowed with irritation. megumi barely flinched, instead ruffling your hair, not bothered in the slightest way.
"like that could even do anything to me," he teased, clearly enjoying how easily he could push your buttons.
you groaned, throwing your hands up in frustration. "you're impossible," you muttered.
she looks kinda… cute when she's flustered, he thought, but then immediately froze, realizing what he had just thought. cute? her? what? his mind scrambled to make sense of it. what's wrong with me? he mentally shook his head, trying to push the thought away, but it lingered, making him feel uncomfortably self-aware.
you pouted at him, crossing your arms with a dramatic huff. "you know what, megumi, if you keep acting like this, i'm going to stop hanging out with you," you said, trying to sound serious.
but megumi wasn’t paying attention. his mind was still stuck on that thought from earlier. why the heck did you have to pout like that? he couldn’t shake the image of your cute, frustrated expression. why was he feeling things? he frowned, trying to snap out of it, but his thoughts just kept drifting back to you.
just best friends. just best friends. he repeated in his mind, trying to ground himself. but then, the thought wouldn’t leave him. was it even possible to think your girl best friend looked cute? he wondered, his mind spinning. the more he tried to convince himself it was nothing, the more his heart seemed to disagree. something was definitely wrong with him.
trying to push the thought aside, megumi returned to his usual stoic expression. "what is it you were saying, y/n?" he asked, his voice colder now.
"unbelievable!" you crossed your arms, shaking your head in disbelief. "you know what, megumi? if you're being like this, i’m taking a break from you. i can’t spend every waking second with you. i have a life too, you know." you paused, frowning. "i’m going to agree with nobara, who’s been pushing me to go on a date. but i always said no before, why? because i thought you’d get lonely. but clearly, you don’t care. so don’t bother. don’t try to call me," you said, turning to leave.
you didn't know what came over you or why you said all that. maybe you really feared ending up alone and sad with zero experience in dating like a sore loser, just because you spent so much time with your best friend.
megumi's chest tightened at your words, but he couldn't hold it in any longer. "you’re the one who sticks to me. i don’t mind being left alone. you’re the one who bombards me with messages and calls. you keep saying you have a life? well, i have one too. so i don’t care if you go on a stupid date with some stupid guy," he snapped, his frustration bubbling over.
yes, he fucked up. and yes, he did care if you went on a stupid date with a stupid guy.
you scoffed, your voice sharp with frustration. "alright then, putting all our years of friendship at stake—this is what you wanted, right?" you turned and started walking away, leaving megumi standing there, his expression faltering.
he looked down, feeling a weight in his chest that only seemed to grow heavier by the second. really bad. the guilt settled in, a sinking feeling he couldn't shake off. what had he just done? why did he say those things?
why couldn’t he just say okay and move on like any other friend? why did it feel like his chest was tightening, like there was a lump in his throat every time he thought about you with someone else?
he hated the thought of it—hated how it gnawed at him, how it made his stomach twist. he couldn’t figure out why seeing you with another guy felt like it was something he couldn’t bear.
was it because he didn’t want to lose you? or was it something else?
ofcourse it wasn't. he was only genuinely concerned for you. sure.
this was the first time megumi realised that he was bad at lying to himself.
you didn’t talk to megumi for the next few days. every morning, you made sure to leave for school early, avoiding him entirely. you didn’t want him to have the chance to pick you up and walk with you like he usually did.
megumi, however, figured out your new routine quickly. he tried to follow your schedule, hoping to catch you, even just for a moment, but with each passing day, his efforts became less persistent. gradually, he stopped trying altogether. best friends don’t act like this, he thought, a bitter taste in his mouth. it felt wrong, but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything more.
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it had been a few days since everything had happened. it was a fight, but it lasted longer than you expected. sure, you and megumi had petty little arguments often, but you always made up quickly since neither of you wanted anything serious. but this time, it was different.
you were scribbling in the back of your notebook when the teacher's voice made your head snap up. "so, i'm going to be dividing you all into groups for this project. any volunteers?" the teacher asked as you returned to your scribbling.
"yn, what about you?" she called, pulling your attention back. you shifted in your seat, caught off guard. "uh, yeah, sure," you muttered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. the thing was, you didn’t mind projects, but you definitely didn’t want to be the group leader.
"any student you'd like to have as a co-leader?" she asked.
you scanned the room, your eyes briefly meeting megumi's. "no, i don't have a preference," you replied, deliberately avoiding his glare.
"alright then, i’ll make megumi your co-leader since you two worked well together last time," she said, and you nodded, sinking back into your seat.
you mentally cursed at yourself. no. this wasn’t supposed to happen.
the teacher assigned the rest of the groups, and you found yourself stuck with megumi and four other students.
you didn’t like this one bit. you had been hoping to avoid talking to him, but now, being in the same group, you wouldn’t have a choice.
"alright, I'm assigning the project file to you," megumi said, glancing at you.
you frowned.
he turned to look back at you. "what?" he asked. "nothing," you replied flatly. megumi had been quiet for a while, having tried to get you to talk to him, but with no success. to your frustration, he had started acting indifferent, as if you two had never been best friends.
you wanted him to worry. you wanted him to beg for your attention. but he didn’t even apologize, and that hurt. the reason for the fight had been petty, but you didn’t know what else to do. just then, nobara came running up, giggling as she threw her arms around your shoulders.
"woah, woah, calm down, bara," you said, holding her steady.
"omg, yn! guess what? i set you up on a date!" she squealed.
"what?" you blinked, narrowing your eyes. "what the fuck, nobara? why’d you do that?"
she looked at you skeptically. "you’re the one who told me the other day that you were going to date, or else you’d end up—"
you quickly covered her mouth, embarrassed. "yeah, yeah, i get it, but i didn’t mean right now."
you swear you saw megumi glaring at the two of you from a distance. "what’s up with you now, fushiguro? jealous that your ex-best friend finally got a date?" nobara teased, clearly annoyed.
megumi scoffed, his voice cold. "i'm looking at you because you’re making a commotion and being too loud," he muttered, walking away.
he didn’t seem to care. did he even listen to what nobara said? part of you wondered if he still cared at all, but another part of you felt like he didn’t—and that made you... sad.
you were walking down the corridor with nobara during break. "megumi didn't even apologize. i don’t know what’s wrong with him," you said, crossing your arms as nobara nodded in agreement.
"i mean, it's true that you'd never get a boyfriend with him always hanging around you," nobara added, making you frown and shove her playfully.
"well, anyways—" you started, but were cut off when someone stopped right in front of the two of you. you looked up and froze.
"hey there, yn," a voice you recognised from somewhere, spoke.
it was asahi.
he was tall, with black hair, a handsome face, and a presence that made him impossible to ignore. as the best basketball player at your school, he was surrounded by tons of girls, all of whom seemed to fawn over him. you had a teeny, tiny crush on him, but you never imagined he'd talk to you like this.
"hello asahi?" nobara said, snapping you out of your thoughts.
"i fix you up on a date with her and you don’t even say hello to me? where are your manners?" nobara scoffed, and asahi chuckled lightly.
what? wait, a date?
suddenly, everything clicked. he was the one you were going on a date with?
"oh yeah, i forgot to tell yn that you're the one she’s going on a date with," nobara added casually.
you felt your face heat up. embarrassed, you scratched the back of your neck. "h-h-hi, asahi," you stammered.
he smiled warmly at you. "you have a pretty smile, yn," he said, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.
boom. you heard it.
and in that moment, you could swear you heard your heart skip a beat.
"why did you even agree to go on a date with me when nobara asked?" you asked asahi, a hint of confusion in your voice as he smiled.
"well, you got it wrong, yn," he replied, still smiling. "i was the one who asked her if you were single. i was the one who approached first."
you blushed furiously, caught off guard by his words.
for a moment, it felt as though the whole world had paused. your hair gently flowed in the breeze, and asahi was looking straight into your eyes, just like in the movies. suddenly, those cheesy scenes made sense.
"well, I’ll get going, yn. i’ve got your number from nobara, so i’ll text you later. and remember, it’s a date," asahi winked before walking off to join his friends.
you wanted to giggle, laugh, cry—anything, really. you had gotten your first date, and not just with anyone, but with asahi. you were bursting to tell megumi.
"wait, let me go tell megu—" you started, but then you stopped yourself.
oh right, i can't. i forgot.
nobara sighed. "girl, just leave him for now. you’ve got a date, don’t you? now all you need to do is wait for his text," she said with a knowing smile.
you nodded, but you felt empty somehow. "yeah, i guess so."
that evening, you found yourself lying on your bed, working on your homework while listening to your favorite song. you felt anxious, wondering if asahi would actually text you or if you’d end up waiting forever, only to be played by him. but he seemed too genuine for that—that's what you thought, at least, in that moment, through the lens of your teenage mind.
suddenly, your phone buzzed, and you jumped up to check the message. it was from megumi.
megumi: hi, i was wondering if our group could meet tomorrow at the café at 5 p.m. to discuss the project. be there.
you hesitated for a moment before replying, but eventually, you typed:
you: ok, fine.
you wanted to tell megumi about your date with asahi, but a part of you wanted him to feel the sting of not knowing. i won’t tell him, you thought. he’ll find out eventually.
just as you flopped onto your bed and closed your eyes, your phone buzzed again. you peeked at the screen—it was an unknown number.
asahi: hey yn! you free tomorrow at 5? if you are, i’ll pick you up! we’ll go to the movies.
you shot up, eyes wide in shock. oh my god, it’s asahi. you squealed, kicking your pillows in excitement, then grabbed your phone to reply.
you: hii asahi! sure, i’m free… you don’t need to worry about picking me up though.
the reply came quickly.
asahi: nah, don’t worry. i’ll come by ;)
the next morning, you found yourself laughing and chatting with nobara, showing her the messages on your phone.
"oh my god," nobara said dramatically, leaning closer to the screen. "he said he'd pick you up? what a true gentleman!"
you giggled, feeling a bit giddy. "i know, right?"
the thing was, you were young, naive, and inexperienced. boys like asahi had been dating and having casual flings since middle school, starting as early as eighth grade. deep down, you probably shouldn't have trusted him so blindly.
"wait, wait, yn! oh my god, close your eyes!" nobara exclaimed suddenly, pulling her phone out.
"why?" you asked, laughing as you obeyed.
"don't peek at my phone," she warned, scrolling frantically through her gallery. "okay, open up!"
you opened your eyes, and there it was—a picture of asahi. but not just any picture. this one showed him shirtless, his abs on full display.
his abs were well-defined, and his face matched—handsome and captivating.
"oh my goodness, i can't unsee this!" you gushed, your cheeks heating up.
"i got it off his instagram feed," nobara said smugly. "how good of a friend am i, right?"
you laughed and nodded, still staring at the image as if it might burn a hole in her phone screen. but then, out of nowhere, your mind betrayed you. instead of asahi, you suddenly pictured megumi in that photo—toned abs, a lean yet well-proportioned figure... wait, what? jesus fucking hell.
you blinked in shock, realizing where your thoughts had wandered. your little brain was conjuring up scenarios you’d never imagined before. why him? you wondered.
though asahi’s physique was undoubtedly athletic, in your mind, megumi’s leaner frame somehow looked better, more effortlessly attractive. you cursed at yourself, shaking your head in frustration.
what’s wrong with me?
you chuckled awkwardly, feeling a bit embarrassed, as nobara sighed dramatically.
"i’ll get going now. i promised maki i’d meet her at the cafeteria. bye, yn! oh, and why don’t you go see asahi? he’s at basketball practice right now," nobara added with a smirk.
you smiled and nodded. yeah, maybe seeing asahi would help get your mind off megumi.
jogging down to the court, you spotted asahi practicing with his team. he looked incredible—playing effortlessly, weaving through his opponents, and landing perfect baskets. his confidence on the court was magnetic, and you couldn’t help but admire him.
as you moved closer, he wiped the sweat from his forehead, his eyes meeting yours. he smiled instantly, making your heart skip a beat.
"guys, i’ll be back in a moment. keep practicing—good game!" asahi called out to his team before walking toward you.
your heart started to race as he approached, chugging a bottle of water. hot. that was all you could think.
"hey, yn. what’s up?" he asked casually, his voice smooth.
you tried to compose yourself, replying in a cute but natural tone, "umm, i’m here to see you."
he raised an eyebrow, a playful smile spreading across his face. "aw, you came to see me? well, how’d i do out there?" he asked, wiping his forehead again.
"you’re really cool, i must admit," you said, smiling as you gave his shoulder a light pat.
he let out a playful scoff. "pretty cool? i’m the captain of the team, miss. you’re really hard to impress, aren’t you?"
you could feel your heart flutter again—or maybe it was the thrill of this new kind of attention. whatever it was, it was exciting, unfamiliar, and intoxicating.
what you didn’t realize, though, was just how much others admired you. you always thought guys weren’t that into you, but the reality was far from it. you were different, and maybe that’s why someone like megumi cherished you so much.
"oi, asahi, come back in two!" one of his teammates called out.
asahi nodded and turned to you with a smile. "well, i gotta run," he said, glancing back at the court. then, almost as an afterthought, he added, "don’t forget—5 o’clock. i’ll come pick you up."
before you could reply, he reached for your hand and kissed it gently.
you froze.
it wasn’t that you didn’t know how to handle yourself in normal situations—it’s just that this was not normal. your brain short-circuited as you stood there, watching him jog back to the court. you were so stunned that you didn’t notice the soccer ball flying toward you from the opposite end of the field.
it was only when the ball was dangerously close that you realized what was happening. you dramatically thought, this is it. my time has come. the end is near.
but the impact never came.
something—or rather, someone—stopped the ball.
megumi.
he was standing right next to you, the ball in one hand, his body positioned between you and the potential danger. his expression was as unreadable as ever—calm, stoic, but commanding in a way that made you feel oddly safe.
"umm..." you began, but before you could say more, megumi turned his attention to the kid who’d come running over, clearly flustered.
"watch where you kick the ball," megumi said flatly, his voice firm but not overly harsh.
the kid stammered an apology, but megumi didn’t dwell on it. Instead, he tossed the ball into the air and kicked it back across the field with precise force. the movement was smooth, powerful, and, dare you think it, hot.
you mentally slapped yourself. seriously? what’s wrong with me today?
maybe it was the hormones, or maybe it was the fact that everything megumi did lately seemed to stand out to you in a way it never had before. you caught yourself wondering how strong he really was—something you never paid attention to before.
then, you remembered the start of the school term when megumi had effortlessly lifted you off the ground during some chaotic moment. at the time, you hadn’t thought much of it. but now? if that happened again, you’d probably lose your mind.
"umm, thanks," you mumbled, avoiding his gaze—not because you didn’t want to look at him, but because your cheeks were burning red.
megumi didn’t look at you either. "you’re welcome, i guess," he said. then, after a brief pause, he added, "try not to be a fool next time. keep your eyes opened idiot."
he cares. you couldn’t help but mentally dance at the thought, even though you knew he wouldn’t show any further emotion.
"well, what are you doing here?" you asked hesitantly.
he chuckled, and it sounded… odd. exhausted, perhaps, but there was something different about it. "i thought we’d stopped bugging each other," he replied.
"it’s not like that," you quickly cut him off. "megumi, I didn’t mean it that way."
"then what?" he shot back. "all the times i tried to apologize, and you didn’t even care."
"apologize? excuse me? that was your version of apologizing?" you snapped. "i told you we needed a break from being friends, and you didn’t even try to approach me. you just gave up and started acting indifferent."
"you’re the one going on a date with some random guy now," he muttered, almost to himself. his expression twisted slightly, and you realized he hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
"why would you bring that up now?" you asked, scoffing. "if you’re so into not poking your nose into other people’s business, maybe you should start with yourself."
megumi rolled his eyes. "i don’t want to argue anymore," he said with a sigh.
"you’re the one who started it," you retorted.
both of you fell silent as the basketball team finished their practice and began heading off the court. neither of you said anything, instead looking away and sighing in unison.
just then, asahi approached you, flashing his signature grin. "remember, yn. 5 pm," he said with a wink.
you blushed furiously, giggling at his playful tone.
megumi, however, stared daggers at asahi’s retreating back as though he could burn a hole right through him. "what was that all about?" he asked coldly.
"i thought you wouldn’t—" you began, but megumi cut you off.
"no. just tell me." his voice was steady, but you could sense a strange concern behind it.
you gave in. "well… he’s the one i’m going on a date with," you admitted hesitantly.
for a split second, you thought you saw megumi’s face drop. but the moment passed quickly, and his usual ice-cold demeanor returned. maybe he wasn’t affected. but deep down, a part of you wanted him to feel jealous.
"well, good for you," he said, his tone indifferent.
but then he paused, as if something had just occurred to him. "wait. what about our meeting at 5 pm today?"
oh. you’d completely forgotten. between thinking about asahi all day and getting lost in your thoughts, you hadn’t remembered the plans you’d already made with megumi before agreeing to meet asahi.
"i… i won’t be able to make it," you admitted reluctantly. "i only said yes to you for formality’s sake. i already agreed to meet asahi first, and i can’t cancel on him—"
you lied.
megumi sighed sharply, cutting you off. "of course you can’t. enjoy."
before you could say anything else, he turned and walked away. his expression was unreadable, and there wasn’t even a hint of disappointment on his face.
but you wanted there to be. you wanted him to feel something—jealousy, sadness, anything.
and then it hit you. why did you want him to feel that way? unless… no. that wasn’t possible. was it?
you shook your head, trying to brush off the thought. megumi was your best friend—or, at least, he used to be. that was in the past now. or so you told yourself.
evening came, and you couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt settling in your chest. why am i doing this? am i hurting megumi? you wondered. but then again, he hadn’t shown any sign of being upset. he didn’t seem sad at all—maybe you were just overthinking.
you got dressed for your first date, opting for a cropped top that was just shy of being see-through. paired with baggy cargo jeans and some matching accessories, you looked cute—really cute, you had to admit. the only problem was the makeup. inexperienced and clueless, you turned to youtube tutorials for help.
"stupid mascara… ugh," you groaned as you struggled to get it just right. after thirty long minutes of trial and error, you finally managed to finish. the makeup was minimal but far more than what you usually wore. at least you didn’t look like a demon—you silently thanked the heavens for that.
when the clock struck the hour, you found yourself waiting at the nearby bus stop, where asahi had agreed to pick you up. He had a car. he had a license. he’s so cool, you thought to yourself.
just then, a sleek maserati pulled up right in front of you. he’s rich too? you thought in disbelief.
"yn, hi," he greeted you, his tone cheerful and confident. he exuded a cool and effortless charm, dressed in an oversized hoodie and casual pants. somehow, he managed to strike the perfect balance between not overdressing and not underdressing.
he stepped out of the car, opened the door for you, and extended his hand. blushing, you took it and got in.
the ride to the theater was fun—filled with lighthearted conversation about the movie and playful banter. before you knew it, you had arrived just in time, popcorn and soda in hand, ready for the film.
meanwhile, megumi was sitting in a café with the other students, working on the group project. he looked composed, as he usually did—calm and collected, the image of focus.
or so it seemed.
inside, his thoughts were anything but composed. the idea of you spending time with another guy, especially someone like asahi, made his blood boil. it’s nothing, he tried to convince himself. just brotherly feelings, that’s all.
this was the second time megumi realized how terrible he was at lying to himself.
the mental image of your soft, plump lips on asahi’s made his jaw tighten. his grip on his pen stiffened. what if he’s just using her? he wondered. what if she’s in danger? the thoughts raced through his mind relentlessly.
maybe i'm overthinking… but then, his mind conjured up something that made his pulse quicken: he imagined himself in asahi’s place, leaning in and kissing you instead.
damn it, he cursed under his breath. stupid teenage hormones. fuck them.
he shook his head, trying to banish the thought. no, this couldn’t happen. it didn’t matter if his feelings were “brotherly” or something else entirely. all he knew was that he had an overwhelming urge to storm into the theater, pull asahi away from you, and take you somewhere far away from him.
to megumi, you were still innocent—too kind, too naive to see through someone like asahi. he told himself it was concern for your well-being, nothing more. but deep down, even he wasn’t sure anymore.
his hand hovered over his phone, tempted to message you and cancel the meeting right now and run straight to you. no, he thought, clenching his fist. but the thought of you with asahi lingered, gnawing at him, making it impossible to focus on anything else.
asahi and you were completely engrossed in the movie. as you reached for the popcorn, you felt a pair of fingers brush against yours. ah, yes—you were sharing the same basket of popcorn. it felt so fitting, like a classic movie moment come to life.
both of you turned your heads at the same time, your eyes meeting. maybe you had done it on purpose, hoping for this exact moment. asahi's gaze lingered on yours, and you felt a blush rise to your cheeks.
"so, how’s it?" he asked, his voice warm and casual. the glow of the screen flickered in your eyes as you sat there, caught mid-bite with a mouthful of popcorn.
"umm, the popcorn? it’s buttery, but it could use some salt," you replied, earning a soft chuckle from him. ah, that laugh—it sent a flutter through your chest.
"no, silly. i meant the movie," he said, grinning as he casually draped an arm over your shoulders.
you laughed awkwardly, feeling the heat of embarrassment creep over you. "haha, yeah, i knew that," you said, trying to play it off. "it’s good."
"hmm," he whispered softly, leaning in closer. you could feel it—the heat between you. then, with one hand, he gently tilted your face toward him. oh no, he was going to kiss you. you had never done this before—at least, not with an actual person. your plushies and pillows had been your only practice partners, and even they wouldn’t prepare you for this.
as you leaned in as well, closing your eyes, the lights in the theater suddenly turned on, and people began getting up to leave. the movie was over. how embarrassing. asahi chuckled at your flustered state, his warm laugh making your cheeks burn even more.
"maybe next time," he muttered to himself, his voice almost teasing. you stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do, when he suddenly got a notification on his phone.
"well, i gotta run to the washroom. i'll be quick, okay? wait for me outside," he said with a smile, squeezing your hand before heading off. you nodded and walked out of the theater.
the cold air outside hit you instantly, making you regret wearing just a crop top. the clouds had taken over the sky, dark and heavy, and it looked like it could rain any moment now. you stood there, replaying the events of the day in your head. it had been your first date—and asahi was perfect. just like someone straight out of a movie. but it had all felt almost too perfect, like it wasn’t quite real. the only thing missing had been the kiss, which was sadly interrupted. you couldn’t help but blush at the memory.
when you glanced at your phone, you realized it had already been ten minutes since asahi went to the bathroom. you weren’t trying to be impatient, but you wondered what was taking him so long. a knot of worry formed in your stomach. deciding to check, you headed toward the bathrooms.
what you saw froze you in place. there, just outside the bathroom, was asahi—kissing another girl.
you blinked, hoping you were imagining it, but no. it was real. his lips were on hers, his hands resting on her waist. there was no mistaking it. it wasn’t the movie-like moment you had hoped for—it was a nightmare.
your chest tightened as tears began to prick your eyes. you wanted to scream at him, to demand an explanation, to ask if you weren’t good enough. but no. he didn’t deserve that from you. you had something he clearly lacked—self-respect and pride. so, instead of confronting him, you turned and walked away.
but the tears wouldn’t stop. they rolled down your cheeks, hot and uncontrollable, as you replayed what you had just seen. your heart ached with betrayal. were all boys like this? trash?
no. not all boys. you thought of megumi. he’d never do something like this. he’d never hurt you like this. suddenly, you felt the overwhelming urge to go to him. to tell him you were wrong. to tell him you wanted him—not just as a friend, but as something more.
but how could you? after everything you’d said to him, after how you’d pushed him away? he probably wouldn’t even look at you now. that thought made the pain in your chest feel even heavier.
ha, how ironic, you thought. your first date and heartbreak on the same day. why did all this happen to you? you had been too naive to trust asahi. he was a playboy, and he played you. the one thing you had looked forward to was now the thing you dreaded. you didn’t want to date anymore; you didn’t even want to see anyone again. it had started raining, and you were running. where? you didn’t know. just running, hoping to disappear, to escape from everything and everyone.
megumi was done with the project work and had closed everything off. luckily, you had left your location services on. feeling an urge to check where you were, he opened the app, and to his surprise, you weren’t at home or the theater. you were somewhere in the middle of town.
"what the heck?" he mumbled, grabbing his jacket and bag before running out the door. he knew where you’d go. whenever you got sad, you always ran to the park downtown. his intuition told him something was wrong. not that he wanted to jinx it, but maybe he’d already called it.
he ran through the rain without an umbrella, his clothes getting soaked, until he finally caught sight of you. you were kneeling down on the wet ground, crying. he rushed over to you.
"hey, y/n, what happened?" he asked, concern clear in his voice.
the moment you heard his voice, you recognized it. your red and puffy eyes blurred your vision, but you didn’t care. you stood up and threw yourself into megumi’s arms, your face pressed against his chest. he held you closer, his warmth shielding you from the cold rain.
"what happened? tell me," he said gently, his voice calm though worry was evident.
tears were rolling down your cheeks, hot and uncontrollable.
"hic—uh… asahi… h-he hic… k-kissed… another g-g... girl..." your words barely made sense, but megumi understood.
"it's alright, idiot. stop crying," he said softly, his hand gently brushing away your tears. but inside, his anger was rising. he wanted to do something, anything, to wipe that smug look off asahi’s face. he wasn’t as calm as he usually was anymore. his protective instincts kicked in, and all he wanted was to make asahi regret hurting you.
you took a few seconds to calm down, still whimpering and hiccuping as megumi rubbed your back soothingly. he was there—always. no matter what, he stayed by your side, and deep down, you knew he always would.
suddenly, a pang of guilt hit you. you had hurt him.
"umm, m-megumi, well, i-i wanted to say sorry," you said, looking up into his eyes. they glimmered in the faint moonlight, his figure shielding you from the rain. his eyes softened as he met your gaze.
"sorry? why?" he asked, though you knew he understood.
"w-well, i was wrong," you began, your voice trembling. "i was selfish and inconsiderate, for both of us. i was just desperate to get myself a boyfriend… and look at how i ended up." tears threatened to spill again, but megumi hushed you, gently placing a finger on your lips.
"you little idiot," he said, his tone affectionate despite the words. "don’t you understand? sure, if you hung out with me, you probably wouldn’t get one. but… i think it’s my fault too. i didn’t give you enough space to breathe either. though…" he hesitated, a faint curse escaping under his breath. "no matter what, i’d hate to see you date someone else."
his words hung in the air. his eyes widened slightly, realizing what he’d just said out loud.
"what?" you asked, stunned, your eyes wide with surprise.
"never mind," he mumbled quickly, shaking his head. "i meant i’d be sad if you left me alone, that’s all. are you seriously so dumb that your mind clings to stuff like that?"
you laughed softly, the sound light and genuine despite everything, and pulled him into another hug. with megumi, you felt safe. you felt… okay. asahi didn’t matter anymore, and you realized it now.
you let yourself sink into the moment, listening to the gentle pitter-patter of the rain. the two of you were drenched, but neither of you seemed to care. the sound of water sliding down rooftops, trickling from the playground slide, and pooling in puddles filled the air.
then you noticed something else: your heartbeat. it was fast. thump-thump. had it always been this fast? no, it felt different. abnormal, even. but it couldn’t have anything to do with megumi, of course not. it had to be everything you’d been through tonight… obviously.
but then you caught the scent of his cologne. it was fresh, like dewy mist, and you couldn’t help but lean in a little closer, inhaling it deeply. wait. what was that?
you felt something in your stomach. a flutter. you blinked. parasites? you thought to yourself, trying to rationalize it. it’s definitely not butterflies. no, it couldn’t be. of course not.
you just hoped you were right—because the last thing you wanted now was to fall for your best friend.
megumi broke the hug and stepped back. "i think if you’re done, maybe we should go. and seriously, what the heck, we’re completely drenched," he said, glancing down at his soaked clothes. "my clothes are totally ruined now."
without waiting for a response, he grabbed your hand and started running. you followed, your feet splashing through puddles.
"where are we going?" you asked as he suddenly stopped, looking around.
"let’s just find some shelter and call a taxi," he replied. but then his eyes landed somewhere they really shouldn’t have, and he cursed the heavens.
you were wearing a thin, nearly see-through crop top that had clung to your skin in the rain. megumi swallowed hard and looked away immediately, his jaw tightening as he tried to stay composed. okay, this is normal. i’m a teenage boy too, he thought, though the pink flush creeping up his face betrayed him.
he was thankful, at least, that you were completely oblivious. thank god, he thought.
"cover up, you idiot," megumi said, his tone sharper than intended, but his voice still flustered.
"huh?" you asked, tilting your head in confusion, still unaware of the situation. megumi sighed, grumbling under his breath. why can’t she just read the room? he thought.
he swung his bag off his shoulder and tossed it to you. "here, use this. just—cover up."
you did as he said, though you still seemed confused. megumi let out another sigh, shrugged off his jacket, and draped it over both of you, shielding you from the rain.
you smiled up at him then—a bright, genuine smile. it was the kind of smile that could probably make any guy melt. but megumi wasn’t any guy. at least, that’s what he told himself.
until now.
seeing that smile made his cheeks flush even deeper, and he had to look away, cursing under his breath. damn. just hormones. nothing else, he told himself, trying to stay rational.
but then another thought slipped in, unbidden. why does she have to look so adorable... and hot? at the same time? he frowned, questioning his sanity.
fuck fuck fuck.
best friends. just best friends, he repeated to himself like a mantra, desperate to believe it.
but the truth was harder to ignore now. this was the third time something about you had struck a chord deep inside him.
megumi wished he was better at lying to himself.
after a while of waiting, you got into a taxi with megumi. "so, we’ll just head home now?" he asked, glancing at you. you nodded but hesitated for a moment before speaking.
"yeah, about that… my parents are out of town, and i-i was gonna be alone, so i wondered if i could bunk with you tonight? for old times’ sake?" you asked, your voice unsure but hopeful.
for old times’ sake? sure. but for his own sanity’s sake? absolutely not, megumi thought.
"yeah, works," he said, trying to sound casual. but deep down, he knew this was going to test every ounce of self-control he had.
the ride to his house was short, and as you sat in silence, you started reflecting on how the night had turned out. it had been such a mess, yet here you were, feeling strangely okay.
you glanced at your phone, which was still on do not disturb, and weren’t surprised to see 13 missed calls from asahi. you shrugged and sighed, shaking your head. none of that mattered now.
no one was home at megumi’s place either. the realization that you were both alone together made your stomach twist and turn, though you didn’t quite understand why. his sister, tsumiki, had a school function and was out of town as well.
"well, come in," megumi said, hanging the keys on the rack. the sound of the keys jingling filled the otherwise quiet house as you took off your shoes and stepped inside.
the place felt so familiar, as it always had. you’d been coming here for the past twelve years of your life. it was like a second home.
the two of you headed upstairs to his bedroom. as expected, it was neat and tidy, just like megumi always kept it.
"i think you should take a bath and change into something..." he said, rummaging through his closet. after a moment, he pulled out a hoodie and a pair of shorts. "...there you go," he added, tossing them to you.
you caught the clothes and stared at them for a moment. and then it hit you. this is exactly like one of those cliché book plots, you thought. the one where the girl has no spare clothes, so the guy lends her his.
while you were lost in your thoughts, megumi was having his own internal struggle. how cute would she look in my clothes? the thought slipped into his mind before he could stop it, and his cheeks turned pink.
both of you glanced at each other briefly, the blush on your faces obvious, before quickly looking away. completely oblivious to what the other was thinking, you stood there, awkward and flustered, two idiots caught in your own spiraling thoughts.
not even god could save the two of you from this moment. as much as you both hated the idea of picturing each other together, neither of you could completely deny the thought anymore.
you had taken a bath and were now sitting on the edge of the bed, towel-drying your hair while waiting for megumi. that was when he walked out of the bathroom.
uh oh.
he wasn’t wearing a shirt—just a pair of shorts, with a towel slung lazily over his shoulders. you froze for a moment, and before you could stop yourself, you realized you were checking him out. great, just great, you thought, internally screaming.
he rubbed the towel through his hair, his raven-black locks spiking in every direction, just the way they always did. only now, for some reason, you couldn’t help but notice how much you wanted to run your hands through it.
your gaze drifted lower—bad idea.
his abs were exactly how you had imagined they’d be. toned, well-defined, and everything else you shouldn’t have been thinking about right now. his frame wasn’t bulky or overly muscular, but lean and athletic, which somehow made him look even hotter.
you felt a wave of embarrassment wash over you as you realized what you were doing. god, i’m disgusting. i’m a total freak, you thought, your cheeks burning.
still, no matter how hard you tried to look away, you couldn’t deny it. megumi looked… hot. and that was a problem you weren’t ready to face.
fuck it, am i in love with my bestfriend? you thought. ofcourse not, it's just some sort of a physical attraction that anyone my age would experience.
megumi glanced at you as you sat on the edge of the bed, still busy drying your hair. your damp strands clung to your face, droplets of water sliding down your skin. you weren’t even trying, but somehow you were driving him insane.
his mind short-circuited at that moment, and before he could think, he acted. something inside him snapped, or maybe it was always there, buried beneath layers of self-control. whatever it was, it was enough to make him forget himself.
he stood and walked over to you. you looked up at him, confused. "what?" you asked, your voice curious. "is there something—"
you didn’t get to finish. his hands were on you, pulling you close, and suddenly, his lips were on yours. your eyes widened in shock. megumi just kissed you.
but the real surprise wasn’t that—it was the fact that you didn’t pull away. instead, you kissed him back, meeting his lips with the same passion he gave you. this was your first kiss, and yet, it didn’t feel awkward or clumsy. no, it was perfect. megumi moved with a deliberate slowness, his lips guiding yours like he had done this a thousand times before.
you felt the bed beneath you as he gently pushed you down. his hand slid into yours, pinning it above your head, while the other rested firmly on your waist. everything about the moment felt intense, like the world outside had stopped spinning. you finally understood what those movie scenes meant when the girl’s problems melted away with the perfect kiss. because that’s exactly what was happening. everything—your heartbreak, your doubts—everything faded into nothing.
but then, reality hit you. no. i’m kissing my best friend.
you both pulled away at the same time, your breaths labored, your faces flushed. the realization of the position you were in hit megumi immediately—you, beneath him, your hair splayed out across the bed. and god, you looked good like that. stop, he told himself, forcing the thought away as he climbed off you, running a hand through his hair and fixing his shorts.
shit shit fucking hell you doof.
she’s going to think i’m a pervert, megumi thought, mortified. i messed up. i messed up big time.
on the other hand, your thoughts were spiraling in a completely different direction. oh no. i forced him into this. he didn’t even want this. you cursed at yourself, guilt weighing heavy on your chest.
the two of you sat on opposite sides of the bed, the silence stretching on for what felt like hours. ten minutes passed, the room filled with nothing but the sound of your breaths as both of you tried to make sense of what had just happened.
"i—" you both started at the same time before cutting yourselves off.
"no, you go first," you said in unison again, your eyes briefly meeting before you both looked away, cheeks burning.
megumi cleared his throat and started. "i… i didn’t mean to. i was just… you know…" his voice trailed off, unsure of how to explain himself.
you nodded quickly, even though you didn’t understand a thing. "y-yeah. me too. it was totally accidental, and i get it. i understand."
but neither of you did. not really.
the silence returned, this time even heavier than before.
"so, uh, yn… you take the bed, and i’ll go sleep on the couch downstairs," megumi said finally, his voice stiff, his eyes avoiding yours entirely.
"yeah, yeah, sure," you said, nodding like an idiot.
he grabbed a pillow and a blanket from his bed and headed for the door, his movements quick and deliberate. he didn’t even glance back at you as he closed the door behind him.
as soon as he was gone, you cursed at yourself, sinking back onto the bed. what the hell did i just do? this is going to be so awkward from now on. megumi probably hates me now.
you stood up and walked to the door, resting your back against it before sliding down to the floor. you hugged your knees to your chest, resting your head on them as your mind raced. he completely has no feelings for me. and i… i don’t have any for him either. right?
on the other side of the door, megumi was sitting in the exact same position as you, his back against the wood, his head buried in his hands.
what have i just done? am i out of my mind? he thought, guilt and frustration swirling inside him.
maybe you were both wrong. or maybe you weren’t.
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(umm yeah so that's it i guess? i'm sorry but yeah. i love em though like who's gonna tell them erm..)
lmk if ya'll wanna get tagged for the second part which i'll publish prolly<3
636 notes · View notes
jwonsite · 6 months ago
Text
bed chem - sim jaeyun
(part of the short n' sweet series)
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pairing - collegestudent!jake x fem!reader
word count - 7.6k
warnings - drinking, unprotected sex (wrap it up,,), they don't rly know each other whoops, uhm lmk anything i missed
you looked in the mirror one last time as your best friend rambled on about how fun this party was going to be, and how you could finally “put yourself out there” after your last boyfriend. 
“i am going to get so wasted tonight, apparently they hired like, an actual dj, and i heard somebody say that they were going to do a lip sync battle between the boys,” yunjin explained as she bounced on her heels, waving her hands around in excitement as she told you all the things she heard about the party already.
you ran your hands over the fabric of the dress again, silently questioning whether you were ready for this. it had been a few months since your last relationship, but the idea of putting yourself out there felt… a bit overwhelming.
“alright yes i get it yunjin, i promise i will not silently sit in the corner the whole time,” you said to her as you turned to walk out of your room
“okay okay, i’m sorry i just want you to have a little bit of fun for once. you’re always cooped up in this room doing god knows what,” she said as she grabbed her stuff and followed you out of your apartment
“how did you even find out about this again?” you asked her, sitting down in the drivers seat of your car as she settled into the seat next to you
“well i have a class with heeseung, and the other day he was talking about this ‘big party’ that his best friend was throwing for his birthday, and he asked me to come, and told me to ‘bring my friend too’,” she explained, applying another layer of lip liner and gloss in the small mirror above her
“wait pause, lee heeseung asked about me?” you asked, making a face of disbelief, considering you have never talked to him in your life
“well no, it was one of his friends, i dont remember which one of them it was they all kind of blur together in my mind,” she said as she closed the mirror and opened her phone, rambling about something she saw on her phone as you’re left to wonder which one of lee heeseung’s friends would’ve requested you at this party.
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as the street filled with parked cars and the music thumped louder, a knot started forming in your stomach. you can’t believe you let her talk you into this, much rather being at home in your pajamas binge watching a new series. you glanced at yunjin, who was already checking her lipstick in the mirror, completely unfazed. of course, she was used to this; you, on the other hand… it had been a while.
you find a parking spot relatively close to the house after a boy helped his very obviously drunk girlfriend into the car and drove away. parking the car you grabbed your bag and looked at your best friend,
“yunjin do not leave me alone here like last time. and if you are going home with somebody please tell me before you’re already halfway to his house so i dont go insane looking for you,” you said a bit sternly
“i promise i will tell you if i leave,” she said, extending her pinky out to you as you guys have done for all the years you’ve been friends, interlocking your pinkies before touching your thumbs together and smiling.
as you stepped out of the car, the crisp night air hit your skin, contrasting with the heavy thrum of bass in the distance. the smell of alcohol already lingered, though you hadn’t even reached the front door.
yunjin let out a small squeal, excited to have finally been able to convince you to come to a party with her again. she grabbed your hand as you both walked to the front door, watching as a group of people are huddled on the porch, holding red cups as they laughed at the boy in the middle badly attempted to show off a dance move to the rest of the group.
inside, the bass vibrated through the floor, almost drowning out the sound of slurred conversations and wild laughter. the room was dimly lit, only flashing neon lights from the dj booth cutting through the haze. the air was thick with the scent of alcohol and the heat of too many bodies crowded into one space.
your grip on yunjin’s hand tightened as the crowd pressed in, laughter and music swirling around you like a chaotic blur. part of you wanted to turn around, walk right back out into the quiet night. but another part, the part that hadn’t let go of your last relationship, wondered if maybe, just maybe, yunjin was right. maybe tonight was the night to try and put yourself out there again.
as you and yunjin made it through the large crowd and to a less crowded area of the party, she let go of your hand before yelling over the music, “i’m gonna go say hi to heeseung,” she said with a wink, “ill be back!”
you shook your head a bit as you let out a small laugh, the small crush your friend had on the boy never letting up. you sat down on one of the couches in front of you, and your mind briefly wandered to heeseung’s friends, trying to remember their faces. which one of them had asked for you? the thought lingered for a moment, but you quickly shook it off. it didn’t matter, right?
as yunjin disappeared into the crowd, the thrum of excitement that she had brought with her quickly faded, leaving you alone with the deafening music and unfamiliar faces. you looked around, suddenly aware of how out of place you felt without her by your side.
you pulled out your phone, scrolling through it for a bit before you felt somebody sit down next to you, looking to your left and seeing a boy wearing a white jacket. his long brown hair fell nicely to the sides of his head, highlighting his big brown eyes and plump lips, seeing them curl up as he smiled at you. 
“you here by yourself?” he asked you, the words rolling off his lips coated in a thick australian accent.
“oh no, i’m here with my best friend but she disappeared a bit ago to find someone,” you said looking down shyly, smiling as you looked back up at him as you finished your sentence.
you recognized him, but you weren’t sure from where. you probably had seen him around campus, pushing it out of your head as he spoke up again.
“ah well, you could hang with me for a bit til she gets back,” he said, smiling at you with his eyes wide. you let out a small laugh as you nodded, but your heart raced a little faster than you’d expected. It had been a long time since you’d felt the nerves of sitting close to a boy, especially one who looked at you like that. was this how flirting was supposed to go? you could barely remember.
"i’m jake, by the way," he said, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled. 
"nice to meet you, jake," you replied, still feeling a little off-kilter but warming up to the conversation, "i’m y/n" 
he let out a small chuckle, "you looked like you needed a rescue back there, these kinds of parties not your scene?" 
you laughed, feeling yourself relax just a bit, "is it that obvious?"
he looked up as he pretending to think about your question, “hm, just a bit,” he said, feeling his knee brush lightly against yours as he leaned in, his smile growing wider. you noticed the faint scent of his cologne, warm and slightly sweet, mixing with the alcohol-laced air.
“you want something to drink?” he asked, pointing over his shoulder at the drink table behind him.
“sure,” you said, going to get up before he stopped you, putting a hand out in front of you
“no no its okay i got it, what do you want?” he asked you, looking down at you as you sat back down on the couch.
“surprise me,” you replied cheekily, smiling up at him as he walked away.
as you watched jake weave through the crowd toward the drink table, you couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement, or was it nervousness? you couldn’t tell.
jake returned with a grin, making eye contact with you. you stifled a laugh as he tripped over the carpet beneath the couch, catching himself just before falling.
“that carpet definitely wasn’t there before,” he said, laughing as he sat down next to you. he handed you a red cup filled with a vibrant orange liquid. you took the cup, peered inside, and sniffed. the strong aroma of alcohol mixed with a fruity scent made you scrunch your nose.
“i’m not going to wake up in an unknown place tomorrow with no memory of tonight if i drink this, am i?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
jake let out a small laugh, grabbing the cup from your hand. he poured the contents into another cup, mixing them together before handing it back. “there, promise I’m not trying to kill you,” he said with a wink, taking a big swig from his own drink.
you took a cautious sip, then looked at jake with a mock-serious expression. 
“well, i guess if i wake up in a strange place i’m blaming you,” you said with a grin.
jake chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “fair enough. but I’ll do my best to keep you safe,” he said, running a hand through his hair.
you two continued to talk, the conversation flowing effortlessly between playful banter and discussions about your future plans. jake shared what he does for fun, his major in school, and his aspirations for after graduation. you found yourselves bonding over shared interests and ambitions, discovering more common ground as the night went on.
as you spoke, jake’s proximity made it hard to concentrate. his cologne, warm and slightly sweet, mixed with the scent of the party, creating a dizzying effect. he inched closer, your knees touching as he placed a hand on your thigh. the simple touch, combined with his intense gaze, made your heart race and your thoughts scatter.
his fingers rested lightly on your leg, and you could feel the warmth of his hand even through the fabric of your dress. you tried to focus on the conversation, but the closeness and the lingering effect of the alcohol made it increasingly difficult to think straight. jake’s voice, warm and smooth, seemed to envelop you, making everything else fade into the background.
you glanced at him, catching his gaze as he spoke, his eyes reflecting a genuine interest and a hint of something deeper. you were so focused on the boy in front of you that you had completely forgotten about waiting for your best friend to come back.
a hand on your shoulder made you turn around, and you saw yunjin standing there, with heeseung right behind her.
“i’m leaving. you good?” she asked, her eyes flicking to jake before turning back to you.
“yeah, i’m fine. keep me updated on where you are, i’ll see you tomorrow,” you said, pulling her in for a hug. she bent down, wrapping her arms around you, and whispered in your ear.
“that’s him,” she said quickly, a hint of excitement in her voice, “he’s the one who asked about you.”
your cheeks heated at the thought that jake had actively looked for you during the party. as yunjin pulled away and smiled at you, raising her eyebrows, you felt a rush of warmth.
“well, anyway, bye,” she said, drawing out the word as she grabbed heeseung’s hand and practically dragged him out of the house.
you watched them leave, feeling a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation. turning back to jake, you found him still smiling at you, his interest palpable.
“was she your ride?” he asked, his face showing a hint of concern.
“no, no, i was actually her ride,” you explained. “i just like for her to let me know when she’s leaving so i don’t go crazy looking for her when i want to leave.”
“makes sense,” he said, nodding. the conversation fell into a brief silence, and you could sense the shift in the air.
“well, i should probably head home,” you said, standing up. you stumbled slightly to the side as you straightened up. jake quickly stood, his hands reaching out to steady you, resting gently on your waist.
“woah, are you sure you’re okay to drive home?” he asked, his hands still on your waist, holding you upright. your faces were inches apart, and the warmth of his touch sent a rush of feelings through you. his close proximity made your mind fuzzy, and you found it hard to focus on anything other than the way his hands felt on you. at your lack of response, jake gently removed his hands and grabbed your bag from the couch.
“i’ll drive you home,” he said, taking one of your hands in his and leading you out of the house. he fished your car keys out of your purse and pressed the lock button to find your car, spotting it parked at a nearby house.
as you walked together, your thoughts were consumed by the lingering sensation of his hand on yours. the warmth and security of his grip made your heart race and your mind swirl with a mix of excitement and anticipation. you let him lead you to your car, watching him as he opened the passenger door for you and helped you get in. he walked around the front of the car and got into the driver's seat, turning on the car before adjusting the seat and mirrors for his height. he put the car in drive and pulled out of the parking spot.
as jake pulled up in front of your apartment building, the soft glow of the streetlights bathed the street in a muted orange hue. the ride had been quiet, with a comfortable silence lingering between you two. as he cut the engine, the quiet felt heavier, almost like neither of you wanted to break it.
jake glanced over at you, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “you okay?” he asked, voice soft but tinged with concern.
you nodded, trying to push down the nervous flutter in your stomach. “yeah, i’m good. thanks for driving me.”
he gave a small shrug, his eyes never leaving yours. “i wasn’t about to let you drive home after everything tonight. no way.”
you smiled in return, the warmth in his gaze doing more to settle you than you’d care to admit. after a moment of hesitation, you reached for the door handle, but the thought of saying goodbye so soon felt wrong, unfinished. you turned back to Jake, the words slipping out before you could second-guess them.
“do you… wanna come inside for a bit?”
jake blinked, his eyebrows rising slightly in surprise, “inside? i mean, sure, if that’s okay with you.”
“yeah,” you said quickly, the sudden rush of confidence surprising even you, “i just thought it might be better than you waiting out here or calling an uber.”
jake grinned, his eyes softening in that easy, charming way he had, “i’m not gonna say no to that.”
you both got out of the car, the cool night air nipping at your skin. as you led him to the door, the sound of his footsteps behind you felt grounding, reassuring. once inside, you clicked on a small lamp, the warm light spilling over your cozy apartment. you turned to see jake taking it all in, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets.
“it’s nice,” he said, his voice quieter now that you were in a more intimate space. “feels like you.”
you blinked at him, caught off guard, 
“like me?”
“yeah,” he nodded, offering you a soft smile. “warm, inviting.”
heat crept up your neck at his words. you quickly moved toward the closet, pulling out a blanket and some pillows. “you can, uh, take the couch. it’s really comfortable. i have extra blankets if you need more.”
jake chuckled softly as he watched you fuss around, “thanks, y/n. i appreciate it.”
you placed the pillows on the couch and turned back to him, feeling a bit self-conscious now that you were standing in the soft glow of the living room together. the energy between you two felt different here, softer, closer.
“so… do you want something to drink?” you offered, “water, soda, tea?”
“water’s fine,” jake said, following you with his eyes as you made your way to the kitchen. 
“you’re being really sweet about this, you know that?”
you laughed quietly, grabbing a glass. “i just don’t want you to think i invited you in and then abandoned you on the couch.”
jake smiled, his gaze lingering on you as you handed him the glass of water.
“i definitely don’t feel abandoned.”
his words hung in the air for a moment longer than necessary, and you found yourself nervously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 
“so, um, you’re okay with crashing here? i mean, i don’t want it to feel awkward or anything.”
jake shook his head. 
“not awkward at all. actually… it’s kind of nice. i wasn’t ready to head home yet anyway.”
you bit your lip, contemplating your next move. 
“well… if you’re not tired, we could, i don’t know, watch a movie or something? just to wind down?”
jake’s eyes lit up, “a movie sounds perfect. wyou got?”
You walked over to the couch and gestured toward your small but growing collection of dvds and streaming options on the tv. 
“pick your poison. i’m pretty easygoing when it comes to movies.”
jake grinned, kneeling down in front of your collection, his fingers brushing over a few titles before he looked back at you with a playful gleam in his eye. 
“rom-com or action?”
you rolled your eyes playfully. “you really think I’m the rom-com type?”
he chuckled, shaking his head, “i don’t know, i could see you enjoying a cheesy romance now and then.”
“alright, fine,” you said with a smirk, “pick whatever you want. i’m just going to change into something more comfortable.”
jake nodded as you disappeared into your bedroom, your heart racing a little faster than it should have been. the realization that jake was in your living room, picking out a movie for the two of you to watch together, was almost surreal.
when you emerged a few minutes later, now dressed in comfy sweatpants and a hoodie, jake had settled on the couch, the movie queued up, and now changed into a pair of sweats and oversized t shirt that you had left out for him. he looked up at you with a grin.
“i went with action. hope that’s cool,” he said, patting the seat next to him.
“totally fine,” you laughed, sitting down beside him, leaving just enough space to feel the comfortable tension between you.
the movie started, and for the first few minutes, you both stayed focused on the screen, the low hum of action scenes filling the room. but as time passed, you found yourself sneaking glances at jake. his profile, illuminated by the soft glow of the tv, was calm and relaxed.
eventually, you leaned back into the couch, letting the comfort of the moment settle over you. “thanks for tonight,” you said softly.
jake turned his head, his gaze finding yours in the dim light. “i should be the one thanking you.”
you smiled, feeling the weight of his words. “for what?”
“for letting me in,” he said quietly, his voice sincere.
for a moment, neither of you spoke, the quiet hanging in the air between you. then, without really thinking, you nudged him with your elbow, breaking the tension with a smile. “well, if you get popcorn crumbs on my couch, i might take it back.”
jake laughed, the sound low and warm, and suddenly everything felt easy again. you leaned into the movie, the space between you shrinking ever so slightly as the night went on, the quiet intimacy of it all wrapping around you both like a soft, shared secret.
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you woke up early the next morning, the soft rays of sunlight filtering through the curtains, painting the room in golden hues. it had to be around 6 or 7 a.m. the apartment was quiet, the only sound being the rhythmic breathing from the boy underneath you. you went to move, instinctively reaching for your phone, but stopped as you became fully aware of where you were—and who you were with.
your face warmed as you realized you were lying completely on top of jake, his arms wrapped snugly around your waist, his chest rising and falling beneath you. you didn’t even remember how you ended up like this, barely recalling falling asleep in the first place. all you could focus on was the heat of his hands resting against your back, their warmth burning through the thin fabric of your t-shirt, as though they belonged there.
jake stirred slightly, his body reacting to your small movements. his eyes opened slowly, still heavy with sleep, and as he looked down at you, his messy hair and sleepy expression only made your heart race more. his grip on your waist tightened slightly, pulling you just a little closer, as if to confirm that you were real.
“hi,” you said softly, a smile tugging at your lips.
“hey,” he replied, his voice raspy from sleep, one hand lazily leaving your waist to rub the sleep from his eyes. even in his groggy state, his gaze was soft, lingering on you with that same intensity from last night.
he shifted, propping himself up slightly against the arm of the couch. his hands moved to your waist again, gently guiding you so that you were now straddling his lap. the movement felt effortless, as if the two of you had done this a hundred times before. your heart was beating out of your chest, but something about this felt... right.
you instinctively rested your hands behind his neck, fingers playing with the soft strands of hair at his nape. the closeness was intoxicating, neither of you speaking as you exchanged quiet smiles. in this early morning haze, with sleep still clinging to your senses, it felt like the world had narrowed down to just the two of you. it was domestic, almost intimate in a way that left you breathless.
jake’s eyes searched yours, his expression thoughtful before he spoke. “i really want to kiss you right now,” he admitted softly, his voice low and sincere, never breaking eye contact.
his words caught you off guard, your heart skipping a beat. you blinked at him, your mouth slightly open in surprise, trying to process what he’d just said. before you could respond, jake’s face shifted, a flicker of uncertainty passing through his eyes.
“i’m sorry, was that too far—”
but his words were cut short as you leaned in, closing the gap between you. your lips met his in a rush of heat and urgency, the feel of his lips against yours instantly sending sparks through your body. for a second, jake’s eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly melted into the kiss, his grip on your waist tightening. his hands moved up and down your sides, fingers tracing the fabric of your shirt as if memorizing the feel of you.
the kiss was far from perfect, messy, a tangle of teeth and tongues, but that only made it better. there was no hesitation, no holding back. you pressed yourself closer to him, your arms tightening around his neck, and jake responded in kind, pulling you against him with a kind of desperation, as though he had wanted this for as long as you had.
time seemed to blur as the kiss deepened, the air between you thick with longing. you could feel the pounding of his heart beneath your hands, mirroring the wild rhythm of your own. the world outside faded, leaving only the heat between you, the sound of your shared breath, and the lingering taste of his lips on yours.
he pulled away to catch his breath before moving his lips down your neck, kissing and sucking on it and leaving red marks along his path. you threw your head back as you let out small moans, gripping the hair along the nape of his neck tightly. after taking his time on your neck, he pulls away and looks at you with a certain desperation in his eyes.
“i want you so bad, please.” he says, looking at you with pleading eyes, waiting for you to give him the okay. you nodded at him quickly before he let out a small groan and picked you up to lay you down on the couch, hovering over you before continuing to kiss you, kissing down your neck again before grabbing the hem of your t shirt and pulling it over your head. you let out a small moan as kissed your exposed chest, his hands wrapping around your back to unclasp your bra, slipping it off your arms and discarding it somewhere on the floor in your living room. 
“so pretty…” he muttered to himself as he continued to kiss down your body. your hands tangled into his hair, grabbing at the roots of his brown locks and tugging slightly. you let out a small whine of impatience, pushing his head down towards your core softly.
“jake please,” you said breathily, not even sure what you were asking for. 
“please what baby?” he asked you, coming up from his spot over your lower stomach to kiss your jawline
“want you so bad don’t tease,” you said with a pout, looking up at him with pleading eyes as he had done to you before.
“shh be patient princess, i promise i’m gonna take good care of you,” he said to you before kissing your lips softly and returning back to where he was on your lower stomach. he moved down a bit more to kiss your core over the sweats you were wearing, watching as you grabbed onto the cushions next to you in frustration.
he chuckled to himself before hooking his fingers on the waistband of your pants and pulling them down, exposing the black lacy pair of underwear you had on. he swears he practically salivated at the sight, wanting to feel you on his tongue right now, but also wanting to prolong this moment forever. you bucked your hips up towards his mouth, trying to get more friction against your core. he kissed the insides of your thighs before pulling your underwear to the side and licking a stripe right up your folds. you let out a loud whine at the sensation of him where you’ve wanted him this entire time.
“mm you taste so sweet princess,” he said, dipping his head down for another taste of you. he suckled on your clit as his hands were wrapped around your thighs, holding you down onto his face so you couldn’t move off of him. he was devouring your core like he was a starved man, licking and sucking your clit while also putting his tongue inside your hole ever so often. you grasped at the couch cushions next to you before one of you hands flew to his head, grabbing at his hair and the other moved to grab your boob, playing with and pinching your nipple.
he moved one of his hands up to play with your other boob, using his other hand to finger you, sticking two of his fingers inside you while still sucking on your clit and playing with your boob, the sensation of everything hes doing making your mind practically break, barely even able to think about anything other than his mouth on you. you felt your high approaching, the familiar knot in your stomach tightening as he continued his ministrations on your body. as your orgasm hit, he continued eat you out through it, slowing his finger and bit but keeping his mouth on your clit. once you had stopped shaking and calmed down, he pulled away, licking his lips and sucking your juices off his fingers.
“did so good for me baby, taste so good,” he said as he finished cleaning your essence off his fingers. you pushed yourself off the couch and onto your still weak legs, standing at the edge of the couch about to sink down onto your knees before jake stopped you, grabbing your forearm and pulling you onto his lap.
“as much as i would love to feel your mouth around me, i need to be inside you. we can save that for next time,” he tells you with a wink, lifting you up for a moment so he can pull his pants and underwear down, his hard on slapping against his stomach as he lets you settle back down on his lap, leaning forward to suck on one of your nipples and taking your other boob in his hand. your hand tugged at the hem of his t shirt, signaling to him that you wanted it off. he chuckled before leaning back and tugging his shirt off, letting you ogle at his chiseled abs and chest. you ran a finger down his abs, tracing the lines as he watched you, hands moving to your ass and massaging it. he pulled your underwear to the side and let you sink down onto his dick.
you both let out small moans and whines, leaning forward to bury your head in his neck, moaning into it and sucking small hickies onto it. you bottomed out on him, sitting there for a second to let yourself adjust to his size. he throws his head back on the couch, closing his eyes and letting out a small ‘fuck’ as you sit on him, he looks back at your face, lip slightly bit and eyes squeezed shut.
“please move princess, i can’t do this,” he asks you, rubbing one of his hands up and down your back soothingly. you opened your eyes and obliged to his request, slowly lifting off him so you can sink back down, repeating this until you have a steady pace, your legs burning a bit as you fight to lift off him. your pace quickens as you rest your hands on his shoulders, grabbing onto them to ground yourself.
“fuck jakey i cant ‘s too much need help,” you say to him with a pout, tears pricking at your eyes in frustration.
“aw baby need my help? its okay i got you,” he says as he picks you up off of him and puts you face down ass up on the couch, settling behind you before pushing himself into you again, his pace quick and deep, not giving you a moment to breathe. you fisted at the blanket still lying on the couch from last night, grabbing it and burying your face into it to stifle your moans. you could feel his hips being to stutter, his pace faltering a bit as you guessed he was close to finishing. you were close again too, reaching a hand down to play with your clit to help you finish at the same time as him. jake watched as your hand went down to your core and he swears it pushed him over the edge, shooting his cum deep inside you right as your second orgasm hit you, your legs shaking as you clenched around him, milking his cock. 
he pulls out of you slowly, not wanting to overstimulate you anymore, before picking you up to lay you back against him.
“mm, go to my room ‘m sleepy,” you said to him before he could settle down, letting him pick you up and walk to the bedroom he had seen you exit the night before. the bed was still freshly made from not being slept in, but before he placed you in bed he took you to the bathroom, placing you on the toilet so you could pee, and then grabbing a few wipes to clean you up. he picked you up again, walking out to your bedroom and placing you on the bed, tucking you into the freshly made sheets and getting in bed next to you. you pull him against you, throwing one of your legs over him as you bury your face into his chest as he wraps his arms around you, letting his smell intoxicate your senses. you felt him kiss the top of your head before drifting off to sleep, feeling secure in his arms as he holds you.
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you woke up again later that morning, the bed next to you noticeably empty. groggily, you reached for your phone on the nightstand to check the time. 11:24 a.m. blinked back at you in soft, digital numbers. as you shifted to sit up, a dull ache spread through your legs and core, reminding you of the ministrations of the morning. you winced slightly, muscles protesting at the movement. but your mind quickly shifted to the more pressing question—where was jake?
slowly, you got out of bed, walking with a slight limp as you made your way toward the living room. the sounds of activity in the kitchen caught your attention, and when you peeked in, you couldn’t help but smile at the sight in front of you.
jake stood there, a mess of pancake batter smeared across his arms and face, frantically attempting to balance cooking pancakes, bacon, and eggs all at once. from the look of it, it wasn’t going very well. the pancakes were sticking to the pan, some slightly burnt around the edges, while the bacon seemed dangerously close to being overcooked. he was muttering something under his breath, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
you bit back a giggle, finding his distressed state both endearing and hilarious. you stayed back for a moment, just watching him as he tried to flip a pancake, only for it to fall apart mid-air, half of it splatting onto the stove.
“this is a lot harder than they make it seem,” he muttered to himself, his frustration growing. “how am I supposed to tell when one side is cooked? every time I try to flip them, they just fall apart. then when I focus on the pancakes, the bacon burns... and oh my gosh, i forgot about the eggs…” he scrambled to pull the bacon off the burner before it became any more charred than it already was.
you couldn’t hold back your laughter any longer, a soft giggle escaping your lips. jake froze, turning toward you with a sheepish grin, as if just now realizing how ridiculous the scene must look. his hair was tousled, and the smear of pancake batter on his face made him look like a kid caught in the middle of a food fight.
without a word, you walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his back, resting your cheek against the broad expanse of his shoulder. the warmth of his body was comforting, familiar. you pressed a small kiss against his shoulder blade, smiling to yourself as you felt him relax under your touch.
he turned his head to look at you, his eyes soft but amused. “i’m trying,” he said with a sigh, “but i think i’m in over my head here.”
you glanced at the stove, seeing the evidence of his valiant but slightly chaotic efforts. with a soft chuckle, you gave him a playful nudge. “i can see that. but don't worry, i’ve got this. go sit down before you burn the kitchen down.”
jake laughed, his shoulders sagging in relief as you motioned for him to sit at the counter’s barstools. he wiped at the pancake batter smeared on his forearms, then gave you a grateful smile. “you sure? because I’m about two seconds away from calling for takeout.”
you shook your head with a grin. “i’ll save breakfast. just sit tight,” you said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before moving back to the stove
jake took a seat, watching as you moved effortlessly around the kitchen, turning down the heat on the stove and rescuing the pancakes from total disaster. as you whisked together a fresh batch of eggs, you could feel his eyes on you, but instead of the tension from earlier, it was a warm, lingering gaze that made your heart flutter.
“not gonna lie, I’m a little impressed,” jake admitted, resting his chin on his hand as he watched you in awe. “i thought i could handle breakfast, but clearly i was wrong.”
“you had the right idea,” you teased, glancing over your shoulder with a smirk. “execution could use a little work though.”
he chuckled, leaning back in the chair. “i’ll leave the culinary stuff to you then. i’ll handle... well, anything that doesn’t involve flipping pancakes.”
“deal.”
within a few minutes, you had managed to salvage the meal, serving up perfectly golden pancakes, crisp bacon, and fluffy scrambled eggs. you slid a plate in front of jake, who gave you an exaggerated look of gratitude.
“this looks amazing,” he said, eyeing the food with genuine appreciation. “you’re a lifesaver.”
you joined him at the counter, sitting down next to him with your own plate. “well, it’s the least I could do after you tried so hard. but next time? maybe stick to something simpler, like toast.”
he laughed, taking a bite of his food. “yeah, noted.”
the two of you ate in comfortable silence, the clinking of cutlery the only sound in the air. you glanced up at him every now and then, noticing the subtle bounce of his leg under the counter. his hands fiddled with the edge of his plate, eyes occasionally darting to you as if he was trying to work up the courage to say something. you leaned forward slightly, concern softening your features.
“you okay?” you asked, your voice gentle but curious.
"hm? oh yeah, i’m fine,” he replied with a small chuckle, though his tone was a bit too casual, unconvincing. his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
you raised an eyebrow, sensing there was something more on his mind. jake inhaled deeply, his chest rising with a nervous breath before he finally spoke, the words tumbling out quickly, almost all at once.
“i was just wondering if, maybe, you wanted to go on a date with me? a real one, like at a restaurant or something fancy like that,” he asked, his voice tinged with nervous excitement. he kept his gaze on you, but you could see the flicker of doubt in his eyes.
a soft giggle escaped your lips at how flustered he sounded. you turned to face him fully, your heart warming at how endearing his awkwardness was. reaching out, you gently took one of his hands in yours, threading your fingers through his. his hand felt warm and solid in your grasp, a reassuring touch as you smiled up at him.
“jake,” you said, giving his hand a light squeeze. "you really think after everything that happened last night and this morning i would say no to going on a date with you?”
his eyes widened for a moment, like he hadn’t even thought of that possibility. you grinned, enjoying the way his nervous energy shifted into something more relaxed as you continued.
“of course i’ll go on a date with you. to a restaurant, somewhere fancy... whatever you want,” you teased, repeating his words back to him with a playful tone and a soft smile.
jake let out a long sigh of relief, a smile breaking across his face as he dramatically placed his free hand over his heart. "oh thank god. i was so worried you were going to say no. that would’ve been really embarrassing, especially after... well, everything.”
he glanced at you, his expression a mix of humor and sincerity, like he still couldn’t quite believe his luck. you leaned closer, pressing a light kiss to the back of his hand before pulling away.
“well, you don’t have to worry about that," you reassured him. "i’m looking forward to it.”
the tension between you melted, replaced by the easy warmth that had been there since the night before. jake’s eyes lingered on yours for a moment longer, his leg finally still as the nervous energy dissipated. you could feel the shift in the air between you, something that felt more real, more grounded, like the beginning of something truly special.
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months had passed, and your new apartment was still half-filled with unpacked boxes, yet it already felt like home. the sunlight streamed through the window as you stood in the living room, trying to make sense of where to hang the last picture frame. jake was on the floor, fumbling with the assembly of a coffee table, muttering curses under his breath.
“you sure you don’t need help?” you teased, leaning against the doorway with a smile.
he glanced up, flashing you a sheepish grin. “i’ve got it. i think.” then, after another failed attempt to fit the legs together, he sighed dramatically. “okay, maybe not. wanna come rescue me?”
you laughed, walking over to him. kneeling beside him, you grabbed the instruction manual, skimming over it quickly. “you’re hopeless,” you teased, nudging him gently with your shoulder.
“hopeless?” he echoed, pretending to be offended. “i got us this far, didn’t i?”
“barely,” you retorted with a smirk, handing him a screwdriver.
as you worked together on the table, the soft hum of music from your phone filled the background. the moment was calm, but it felt familiar, like it always had when you were with jake. comfortable, easy.
“i was thinking about something earlier,” jake said after a quiet pause.
“oh yeah?” you glanced up at him as you tightened one of the screws.
“the night we met. at that party. you remember it?” He leaned back slightly, reminiscing with a small smile tugging at his lips.
you rolled your eyes playfully. “how could I forget? you were the only guy there not trying to impress people.”
jake laughed, shaking his head. “i was definitely trying to impress you. i just didn’t know how.”
you grinned at the memory, sitting back on your heels. “really? because i distinctly remember you spilling your drink all over your shoes when you tried to come over and talk to me.”
he winced. “okay, yeah, that was not my smoothest moment. but hey, you laughed. that was a win in my book.”
“i laughed because you were adorable. completely flustered,” you said, nudging him again.
he chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “i had no idea what to say. you looked so cool, like you had everything figured out. i was just the guy trying not to trip over his own feet.”
“you were cute,” you admitted with a soft smile. “i remember thinking you were different from everyone else there. you weren’t trying too hard, and you weren’t putting on an act. that’s what i liked.”
jake’s smile softened as he met your gaze. “and now look at us. from that messy party to... this.”
he gestured around the apartment, the boxes, the half-assembled furniture, and the growing life you two were creating together.
“it’s crazy, isn’t it?” you said, leaning against him. “If someone told me that night we’d be living together, I would’ve never believed them.”
“i had a feeling,” he said softly. “i mean, i didn’t know it then, but there was something about you. even from that first awkward conversation, i knew i didn’t want it to be the last.”
you looked at him, your heart swelling with affection. “i’m glad you didn’t give up after the drink spill.”
“hey, it was part of my charm,” jake teased with a grin, squeezing your hand.
“sure, let’s call it that,” you joked, resting your head on his shoulder.
jake wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close as you both sat back, admiring the space that was slowly becoming your shared home. the silence between you was comfortable, like a warm blanket of memories.
“i still can’t believe how nervous I was to ask you out that morning,” jake said after a while, his voice filled with amusement. “i was convinced you’d say no.”
you laughed. “how could i? after all that... there was no way I was letting you get away.”
he leaned in, kissing the top of your head gently. “well, good thing you didn’t. because this... all of this feels right.”
you smiled, closing your eyes as you sank into the moment. “yeah. it does.”
as you sat there together, the apartment around you still in progress, you realized that it didn’t matter if things were perfect. the only thing that mattered was that you were building it together. from that party where you first met to this shared life, every step along the way had brought you closer, turning small moments into something lasting and real.
and as jake pulled you even closer, you knew that this was just the beginning of everything you both still had to look forward to.
877 notes · View notes
tonyglowheart · 1 year ago
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fulfilling the prophecy.......
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` ☆ Sancte Antoni, * °○ `
' ○° ` ora pro nobis. ' ☆ *
、 ' * Saint Anthony, ' • ○° * `
' ○ ° ` ☆ • pray for us. ☆ ° ` ○*
------‐-------------------------------------------------------
HELLO everyone please look at this beautiful amazing fantastic glorious art I commissioned from @tratshka ✨️ I handed them a concept and some vibes and boy did they deliver on The Vision~☆`°`
.. I'm gonna get this framed lmao
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falconthropy · 4 months ago
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Long awaited Hera's mask tutorial (no cat base, low budget)
example of the masks I've made, here:
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Author note: I have a 3 year experience, and I got used to making gear like this, so if you are trying masks for the first time, you might find some difficulties.
also, the whole thing Is REALLY "trust the process"... Anyway here we go!
You need: Cardboard, paper(optional), hot glue gun, felt/something to fur it/any material is okay if it works, foam (optional), basic tools like scizzors
1. Cardboard forming
You need a piece of cardboard that's kinda a little bigger shape than your face, and measure where the eyes should be, so you can see well.
you can make the mask symmetrical by bending it in half, but it's optional
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the first picture down there shows the back of the mask, don't be scared to pull it in and out, I'd say, you need to form the mask shape with your fingers VERY GOOD.
it really depends on what species you wanna make, I'm making a snow leopard rn!
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you can even cut it almost in half, and shape it to your liking
2. Texture
for this part, when you have your BaseOfTheBase ready, you need to make it more 3d, so it doesn't seem flat. small pieces are a key.
u can use various materials to recreate the real look, for example - foam that is easy to work with, and maybe more cardboard pieces layered on eachother. also you can use the pieces to glue the whole thing down together so it's sturdy.
I smooth it out with paper too, so the fleece/felt/fur sticks better to the mask and doesn't leave unnecessary bumps..
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you use the bends like that to create a 3d effect, and expand the mask a little.
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That's what I came up with! I added alot of paper pieces to smooth it down ^^
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3. furring/felting, and the final touches
this part may be kinda tricky, so i reccomend you to watch various of felting tutorials on cat masks, cause this works basically the same!
I didint take any more photos rly, but here's the final product, and only felted one. (the nose is made out of hot glue)
I don't really want to elaborate on how to do the patterns, since you're the one who's customising the mask, but I like to use alcohol-based markers to make them! acrylic paint is also okay ^^
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I hope I helped in some way !
If you have any questions, feel free to ask <3
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greenpurplemylove · 4 months ago
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What Lovers Do (PJS)♥️
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→ masterlist.
→ pairings: non idol! situationship! jay x female! reader.
synopsis: There was only one thing left to do when two friends finally confess that they like each other after all the endless chasing about and beating around the bush. Though it wasn't like how it traditionally went, like on a bed or in a fancy hotel room. You and Jay knew it would be wasteful to go back to yours or his apartment, not when the view of the beach at 02:00 AM in the morning hits different.
→ genre: friends to lovers! smut, and fluff. -> now playing: Diet Pepsi, Addison Rae/Forrest Gump, Frank Ocean.
-> wc: 5,8k
warnings: SMUT, swearing, car sex, car sex by the beach, dom! jay x sub! slightly switch! reader, slight cockwarming, riding, unprotected sex (wrapeth t bef're thee tapeth t), creampie, fingering, mutual masturbation, mentions of skinny dipping and pet names (baby, pretty girl, darling).
-> A/N: after a season of midterms, a breakup and a series of procrastinations later, I've finally completed the last chapter. good news is y'all don't rly have to read part 1 dan part 2 (but if you want to, I'd say be my guest honestly) to understand what's going on in this story cause this is like smut with very little plot. this is my first smut ever so anyways I'm rly sorry if it isn't perfect, nonetheless I do hope y'all enjoy it though. much love, Cher🫶
♥️
Seeing two people being in denial that they’re actually obsessed with each other is frustrating.
Especially if those two people are practically close friends.
Take you and your friend, Park Jongseong, for example.
You’ve been friends with Park Jongseong since freshman year of college.
Maybe it was due to the fact that your friend groups were practically mushed together and that you’d more often than not end up in the same class he was taking.
With what originally started with strictly exchanging the notes you took during class, slowly melted away into long and deep texts, conversations, even playful arguments about each others pasts and interests.
But what he didn’t know was that you’ve always secretly admired him.
At first you didn’t want to think the admiration you had for him was romantic, but overtime it grew difficult for you to maintain a merely platonic admiration.
He was a nice guy you have to admit, and the fact that he was practically gorgeous made things all the more difficult for you in maintaining that so called ‘platonic’ gaze.
And it didn’t help with the fact that he was such a gentleman to you as well.
Always opened doors for you.
Paying extra attention towards you whenever you needed his help.
And always letting you order first whenever you needed to go somewhere for lunch in between classes.
Even offering to pay for your meals.
It was difficult. Very difficult, for you to not fall for him.
You find yourself looking at him from afar with rose tinted glasses, your day got a little brighter every time the two of you exchanged glances and smiles,
your heart would skip a beat every time his name was mentioned in any given situation,
and most importantly, you wanted to be near him all the time.
Naturally, you grew closer to him.
Overtime it felt strange, how you noticed his smile seemed to linger longer whenever he was looking in to you so deeply,
or how close your bodies were whenever you’d talk to him for an extended period of time.
The questions started to beckon in your head, was this his way of flirting with you?
And to answer that question. Yes, yes it was.
The reason being none other than because he has a crush on you. But being the outwardly cold person that he is, he didn’t wanted to admit that.
Cause there’s a small part of him that was a little scared you wouldn’t feel the same way he did.
He’d look at you from afar and a small smile would creep onto his face.
He would think about how pretty you looked on that day before he fell asleep at night.
And you’d be the first person that comes to his mind the moment he opens his eyes the next morning.
He would pay extra attention to the things you liked and didn’t like. Memorizing your favorite lunch order. Always saving a seat for you next to him.
Always saving an extra gum in his bag because he knows you’d sometimes forget to bring yours to class,
and that he knows you have this bad habit of chewing the cap of your pen in the middle of class whenever you forgot to bring in your gum.
Mind you he also initially wanted to keep things platonic in fear of ruining the bond you’ve pretty much grown into overtime, but it was hard to keep those feelings at bay when you’re always so close to him.
After a while of teasing, lingering smiles, and small flirtatious gestures. You both were still in denial if wether or not the feeling was mutual.
It wasn’t until one drunk night at Sunghoon’s house, where you basically made out and almost had sex with him on Sunghoon’s upstairs couch that made you realize that you both felt the same way about each other.
Well, knowing he didn’t push you away when you were practically sitting on his lap and guiding his hand up your shirt and all.
After that night you both knew you couldn’t just pretend that it never happened,
so, stupidly enough, the two of you kept on teasing each other for a little while.
Hinting bits and pieces of your private lives, purposefully making the other jealous in hopes that the other would confess first because the both of you were stubborn as hell about your feelings.
When the both of you know fully well, you would be down to fuck from dusk to dawn.
It felt like playing a chess game with Jay during those times.
A romantic, for the most parts sexual tension filled game of chess with Jay.
And yet all the games, all the strategies, plans and moves you had all up in your head with Jay has led you here.
Half naked on his lap in his car by the beach at 2 AM, with his lips messily clinging to yours.
Both of your cheeks flushed. Breaths heavy as the windows started to fog. With his hands fondling with your bare breasts.
Your arms clinging onto his shoulders for dear life as your both tongue deep into the kiss.
You both knew at one point it’ll all lead up to this.
But that never stopped either one of you from pushing the boundaries of your ‘friendship’ more and more.
From the longing stares and touches across the hallways to the private moments that had you on the edge of your seat.
All of those moments has led you here, with your body sensually placed on top of his.
“Jay.” you moaned his name softly when you felt his thumb swiping against your hardened nipples as he trailed kisses from your jaw before nipping the back of your ear.
He felt his pants getting tighter by the minute, his dick growing hard at the sound of you moaning his name.
His hands traveled lower and lower down your pants as his palms settled on your ass making you gasp silently, while his mouth travelled down to your neck.
Kissing and sucking on it feverishly as if he was pouring all of his pent up desire to you after all this time.
“So pretty for me y/n.” he whispered against your neck, leaving a light trail of hickeys down your neck as your fingers caressed the back of his hair before trailing to the hem of his shirt.
Sneakily putting your fingers below the hem just to feel his bare skin against the palm of your hand.
You could feel his lips curl into a smirk against your neck as he pulled away, a playful smirk plastered onto his face as he sat up straight.
His hands trailed down to the bottom hem of his shirt but not before your hands replaced what was supposed to be his.
He looked at you surprised by your boldness as you took of his shirt, the muscles on his chest and arms contorting as you did,
feeling the tent that was forming in your panties grow wetter as you discarded his shirt to the side.
The sound of the ocean behind you long blurred into the background as he smiled up at you, caressing your thighs as he watched your every move.
Leaning back onto the chair behind him, your fingers caressed the abdomen of his chest,
feeling his chest rising and falling as his honey like skin emitted an inviting glow under the moonlight.
Your finger trailed lower and lower, from his toned stomach to the buckle of his belt,
lacing your fingers on to it.
You wanted to remove his belt from his pants, that was until his hand held yours, stopping you from going any further.
“I think I can handle that y/n.” he spoke in a sultry tone as he eyed your fingers, caressing them gently before undoing his belt.
Your hands then trailed slowly from the fabric under his belt, to the fabric that covered his prominent bulge.
Purposefully teasing him as you traced your fingers around his bulge.
His breath hitched in his throat as he leaned his head back and sighed, feeling your fingertips undressing his pants.
“I thought couples help take their partners clothes off when they’re gonna have sex?” you murmured as you flashed him a smirk.
“Oh, so we’re a couple now?” he teased, grinning at you flirtatiously.
You sighed in disbelief as you rolled your eyes.
You knew he was the type of person who’d tease from time to time, but you never thought he’d tease you at a time where you were completely vulnerable to him.
“Are you really gonna tease me at a time like this?” you whispered as your lips curl into a small sly smile while your fingers caressed his hair.
He smiled at you before he sat up straight, cupping your cheeks as he captured your lips in his.
Passion surging over you as your hands wrapped around his neck, taking his lips in deeper.
His hands soon trailed down from your body to your hips, giving it a firm squeeze before trailing his fingers to the button of your pants,
unbuttoning it and gently, stripping it off of your body as your purple lacy underwear came into view.
Pulling away from your lips, his eyes soon caught the attention of your undergarments,
pupils dilating as his fingers traced the hem of it, groaning as his eyes rolled back as your hips came down to grind on his clothed cock.
Purple. His favorite color.
Whether you intentionally wore it for him or out of pure coincidence, it made him incredibly harder than he already was before.
So hard that his pants felt uncomfortable against his now fully hardened cock.
But he knew better than to rush this moment like a casual hook up.
This was his crush. The women he’d fawn over since freshman year.
His close friend. Y/N.
He knew what you like and what you didn’t like from the back of his head,
from all the times you’ve told him stories about your casual hook ups every now and then.
He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t go home most nights feeling jealous of how other guys could touch you so undeservingly,
at other nights he spent dreaming of how much he could fuck you better than any other guy,
and at some nights the jealousy and all the pent up feelings he had for you brewed to such intensity that he had no other option than to fist his cock in the shower,
thinking about fucking you all to himself.
And here you finally were, on top of him; your hands gripping onto his shoulders, your cheeks flushed as you turned away rather shyly,
your bare breasts all in display for him and your soaked pussy just inches away from his clothed cock.
All for himself.
It was like a wet dream come true to him.
Lust dipped into his pupils as he caressed the band of your panties,
staring in awe at the lacy fabric at hand before setting the band aside, revealing your already drenched cunt.
He groaned at the sight of it. Wanting nothing more than to stuff your pussy full of his cock.
Feeling his dick twitch uncomfortably in his slacks, he lifted his hips as he stripped down his trousers,
feeling himself grow impatient at the sight of your slick glisten, barely an inch from his thighs.
Leaving his pants bare on the floor of his backseat before dipping his fingers in between your drenched folds.
You sighed and bit your lip as a response. Turning away rather shyly.
His fingers soon laced on to your chin, forcing you to look at him.
It felt like time had slowed as he looked at you, his mouth opened, his lips puffy, and his gaze intense as he eyed you lustfully.
He had wanted, yearned for you even for so long, and now you were finally his.
There was nothing more he could’ve asked for in this moment.
He eyed your expression as he continued rubbing your folds, eyes closed and lips swollen from all the kissing and bitting,
he gradually slid his middle finger in back and forth, but not enough to satisfy how much you wanted him to touch you.
“Jay, please,” you exhaled as you eyed the motion of his fingers, holding onto the back of the front seat for support.
He caressed you so sensually, feeling the pleasure surging at the pit of your stomach,
it drove you almost insane on top of him. “don’t tease me.”
“I won’t baby.” he cooed as his other fingers moved from your chin to your hips,
his thumb rubbing circles on your clit as your mouth opened in pleasure.
The new nickname felt foreign to your ears, but nonetheless it made your pussy throb just for him.
“Jay,” you moaned lowly, gripping onto his arm.
Dipping his finger into you, you rolled your eyes back and bit your bottom lip, gently tugging on his hair,
feeling yourself melting into his touch as your hips thrusted slowly, almost in sync with the movement of his fingers.
He sighed, leaning his head back against the seat as his eyes rolled to the back of his head, feeling his cock twitch at the sight.
His fingers went in and out deep inside you, curling at you in all the right spots as the band of your panties grew wet from your slick cascading down his fingers.
Your face flushed, hips circling his fingers like a pretty doll as he looked at how drenched his finger were from slipping in and out of your walls.
He smirked up at you, enjoy seeing his effect on you.
It made him feel in control and powerful, subtly feeding his ego,
taking pride in how easy it was to have you squirming around his fingers.
Lifting his back towards you, pressing your lips onto his into a clingy hot mess of a kiss.
Slipping another finger inside of you, you moaned into the kiss as he used it as an opportunity to slip his tongue inside of your mouth, never giving you a moments rest.
Feeling your hardened nipples softly grazing against his collarbones, he groaned into the kiss adding to the sensation as your hips moved clockwise against his thumb on your clit.
Kissing you oh so passionately, you tugged on his hair before pulling away from your lips, a string of saliva connecting your tongues.
You were rilled up, your soft messy thrust turned precise and angled, almost as if you were waiting for the right moment to return the favor.
And you did so, as you laced your fingers onto the band of his boxers before beckoning him to lift his hips.
He raised an eyebrow at you as the tips of his lips curled, eyeing you curiously as he removed his fingers from your throbbing cunt making you whine silently,
missing the feeling of his fingers around you already as he gripped your waist.
Lifting his hips, he lets you slip your fingers onto the band of his boxers before pulling them down,
just enough to let his hardened cock sprung free from constraint.
Your eyes trailed from tip to the base of his cock, eyes dazed and mouth dry.
The mushroom tip of his dick flushed. A single thick vein trickled down from the bridge to the base of his cock.
He was definitely big.
Not the biggest you’ve ever seen, but he was definitely big enough to have your stomach doing backflips.
All the excitement and nervous tension trickled down onto your cunt, feeling the throbbing sensation swell as you held your breath in for a moment.
Licking your lips at the sight of it, you continued to strip down his pants until they were well past his ankles as he threw them off to the side.
“Like what you see?” he smirked up at you as he firmly held your waist.
“Don’t get cocky Jongseong.” you teased back, a smile creeped onto your face as you leaned closer to him before capturing your lips onto his.
He gripped your hair gently as he leaned your head to the side, deepening the kiss.
Your hands were all over his body, caressing his toned chest and washboard abs as your fingers trailed lower and lower while he sneaks his tongue back into your mouth,
letting out a groan as your thumb caressed dangerously close to the base of his cock.
The kiss soon grew rough and passionate as your tongues intertwined, his shaft grazing against your clit,
pulsating into a frenzy as his hands groped your ass, kneading them roughly all the while his nails were digging into your skin, making your breath hitch at your throat.
“Y/n.” he moaned out as he pulled away from you, feeling the pleasure coursing through out his body.
Rolling his eyes and throwing his head back onto the seat as he watched you, grinding your soaked folds onto his length.
His tip grew red as precum started to leak from his shaft.
“Shit.” he cursed lowly to himself as he eyed the sight in front of him hungrily.
The view in front of him was better than any wet dream he’s ever had of you.
Your fingers pressed against his cock as you grinded your folds against his dick.
Your slick wetting the bridge of his cock as you grind on him up and down, your other hand gripping onto his thigh for dear life as you balanced yourself on top of him.
You were insatiable.
He knew sex wasn’t a new thing for you, but never in his wildest dreams he’d see you like this with his own eyes.
A flushed mess, eyes closed, your bottom lip tucked as you held back your moans while you grind your folds against his cock,
holding yourself back from sinking fully onto his dick when he knows you so desperately want to.
So sweet yet so sinful, your moans and movements were a lingering sugar like addiction to him as he watches you slowly lose yourself on his cock.
And he hasn’t even put his dick inside you yet.
“Tell me what you want.” he whispered as his nails dug into your waist, hands moving in sync with the movement of your hips, guiding it gently as you swayed your hips in a rhythmic pace against his cock.
Your vision grew hazy as you looked at him, blinking once as your eyes were instantly set on his,
his gaze spilling with lust and desire as he looked at you through his hooded eyelids, face flushed,
his lips pink and plump as they formed an ‘o’ shape, exhaling breathlessly as he eyed you so intensely.
His fingers soon replaced yours, holding back his length against your pussy,
watching you soak the bridge of his cock with your throbbing cunt.
You couldn’t take the teasing you inflicted on him anymore, you wanted him inside of you.
You wanted, needed to feel his dick pulsating inside of you.
You needed him.
“Jongseong, please, I wanna ride your dick.” you whined breathlessly as you continued to grind on him, knowing you still wanted to be good for him despite your desperation.
He cursed at himself, your words stripped him bare into utter desire as his fingers laced on to the band of your panties,
stripping them off your body before shoving them to the side as every patience he had in his body melted away into only anticipation, lust and desire.
“Ride me then y/n,” he spoke in a sultry tone as he looked at you through his half lidded eyes, while his hand grasped onto the base of his shaft,
angling his tip onto your entrance, “I’m all yours.”
Goosebumps erupt in your skin as he spoke those words, electrifying the feeling in your stomach as you positioned his tip at your entrance,
lifting your hips, you planted your forehead against his as you slowly started sinking down onto his cock.
Your eyes screwed shut and your mouth hung loose at the sensation as he did the same.
It was right then and there you realized that you’ve underestimated how big he was from the outside as his cock filled you to the brim of your walls.
Stretching you out oh so heavenly as he caressed the sides of your body as an attempt to sooth you while you adjusted yourself to his length.
“Shit.” you cursed as your eyes rolled back and nails dug onto his back.
“Holy fuck, you’re taking me so good y/n.” he spoke as his hands trailed down onto your waist, eyes rolling back and mouth opened the moment you started circling your hips around his dick.
Heavy breaths and strings of moans fogged the windows as you started to slowly bounce on his cock.
His dick filling you up to the brim every time you sank down fully onto him.
The way he was stretching you out felt so heavenly, you wanted more of it. You wanted more of him.
“Shit you’re big.” you whispered in between your moans as you buried your face on the crook of his neck.
The complement fueled his ego as he smirked with pride before being cut short as he groaned, feeling you starting to clamp down on his dick.
The hands that was once your waist, trailed down onto your ass as he gripped them gently making you let out a loud moan,
as his hands started to match with the rhythm of your hips.
His cock twitched at the feeling of your drenched velvety walls soaking his dick. Feeling your slick dripping down his balls.
“Holy shit Jay fuck.” you leaned your head back as your eyes rolled back,
His head dipped down at the sight of your pussy sinking down onto his dick as you lifted your hips,
revealing the sight of his drenched cock before taking him in you again rather eagerly.
“Shit, you feel so fucking good.” he groaned as he fondled with your ass making you moan his name as you continued taking in his dick like it was your last.
Where have you been all his life?
How could he have been stupid enough to not confess his feelings sooner?
A little part of him can only swirl in regret as he watches you bounce on his cock. Flushed. Dazed. And fueled with lust.
Wishing he could’ve pursued you sooner, knowing how good your slick walls felt wrapped around his dick.
“Look at me.” he whispered as you wince onto his shoulders from the overwhelming feeling of his dick stretching your walls,
picking up your pace as you moaned his name making him sigh as he relished himself on the overwhelming pleasure.
He cursed to himself before gently cupping his hand onto your cheek, forcing you to look at him.
“Look at me y/n.” he whispered a little louder as you looked at his hooded eyes.
Holy fuck he’s never looked so hot.
The strands of his hair laced with sweat as his eyes pierced through them like a knife through a curtain, looking into you like you were his favorite pornstar.
His mouth forming an ‘o’ shape as groans, murmurs and profanities slipped pass his lips as you were bouncing on his dick like there was no tomorrow.
He leaned his head back against the seat, bitting his lips as he feels your slick dripping down his balls.
The occasional ‘fuck’s and ‘holy shit’s slipped pass your lips as you rolled your eyes back, head leaned back while your palms were pressed against his toned chest.
The feeling of his length filling you in and out hits you like a tidal wave as you feel the knot in your stomach tighten.
His hands moved to caress the sides of your body, eyeing you lustfully. “So pretty for me,”
“so fucking pretty for me.” he groaned as he fondled your breasts making you moan his name rather loudly at the already overwhelming pleasure.
Your walls clenched around him as your thrusts started to fall out of rhythm, turning sloppier by the second as your sigh and moans grew heavier.
“Tired y/n?” he asked as he cupped your cheek, receiving a weak nod from you as you bit your lip.
“That’s alright baby, I’ll take it from here.” he spoke softly as his fingers trailed to your hips, guiding you to spread your legs a little wider across the seat as you leaned forward,
feeling your chest pressed against his and his lips lingering over your ear, he started kissing and sucking on your neck,
making you close your eyes in pleasure as you succumb to the feeling of his tongue lapping against your neck.
A string of moans and profanities lingered from your lips as you felt him thrusting upwards into your pussy in a slow rhythmic pace.
You feel the air around you grew impossibly thicker as you breathed heavily.
His name slipped from your lips like a mantra, feeling his cock graze near your spot as he place open-mouth kisses against your collarbone and your fingers gripped onto his shoulders for dear life as the sound of the ocean waves creeped onto the back of your ear.
You let out a loud moan as you felt his thrusts grazed onto your spot, your hand that was on his shoulder slitted upwards onto his scalp, tugging on his hair gently as he moaned your name.
“Fuck, Jay, right there.” you moaned quietly into his ear as a small smirk creeped onto his face.
“Right there huh?” he spoke lowly in a playful, almost teasing tone. Gripping onto your hips so tightly as he thrusted onto your spot repeatedly making you cling onto his shoulder,
whimpers and loud moans of his name being the only thing leaving your lips as you no longer cared about the world outside of his car.
Though it was unlikely at this hour, if someone were to catch a glimpse of his car, they would’ve caught on to what was going on inside pretty quickly.
The car was shaking, it was almost in the middle of nowhere and the windows were fogged from the inside shut, covering the both of you from sight.
Though the both of you didn’t seem to care anyways. Too lost in each others presence to care about the world moving along outside of your own.
You nodded as you bit your lip, earning a groan from him as he leaned his head back onto the seat, fondling your ass as profanities slipped pass your lips.
“Shit, Jay!” you cursed as his thrusts grew rougher, hitting your spot over and over again, feeling the knot in your stomach grew impossibly tighter as he fucked you harder.
“Fuck y/n, you feel so good.” he moaned, feeling his grip on your hips tighten as you were certain that there would be bruises afterwards.
“Fuck, Jay.” you repeated his name as your nails tugged onto the blades of his shoulders. Feeling yourself growing closer to your high.
His sharp gaze pierced through the strands of his hair as his mouth hung opened and his eyebrows furrowed, completely lost in the feeling of chasing his own high.
“Tell me what you want.” he groaned lowly as his lips ghosted over your ear. The tone of his voice grew desperate and needy, almost whiny as he felt himself inching closer to his orgasm.
His words were only met with your moans and whines as he felt himself left unsatisfied.
You gasped as you felt his hand suddenly coming down onto your ass rather harshly, feeling your slick drip further down the base of his cock as a result.
“I said, tell me.” he reprimanded as his hand came down onto your ass again, but this time in between his sentences.
You feel yourself becoming flustered at his words, almost too shy to answer his lewd request.
It wasn’t until you felt his dick completely leaving your cunt that made you widen your eyes.
Whining at the loss of your orgasm.
All of a sudden, his lips latched onto your neck as he started sucking and bitting rather harshly making you let out a whine.
“Jay, don’t-” you whined as you tried to position his cock at your entrance, until his hands gripped your hips, completely halting you from reaching your high.
“I’m not letting you,” he whispered in your ear as he licked a stripe up your neck making you let out a moan. “if you don’t tell me what you want.”
At this point you were desperate. Almost too desperate to reach your high. You were willing to do whatever he wanted, just so that you can cum on his dick.
“Shit, I want you Jay.” you whispered as you caressed his toned abs, resulting in him letting out a groan.
You let out a whine as you felt his thumb caressing your slit, fueling the knot in your stomach that was bound to snap at any given moment.
“Please, wanna cum on your dick.” you practically begged, succumbing yourself to his touch.
A smirk plastered on his face as he looked up at you from your neck before positioning his cock at your entrance.
A moan left your lips as you felt his hands guiding your hips to bounce on his cock.
“Tell me again y/n, what do you want?” he asked as you moaned out his name, feeling his cock thrusting into you deeper as he synced his thrusts with your bounces.
Circling your clit faster, hitting your spot rougher and deeper, that you can only moan out in pleasure and desperation.
“Wanna cum, fuck, wanna cum on your dick Jay, please.” you whined as your high came closer and closer with each given thrust and bounce of your hips.
You yelped as his thrust grew faster, animalistic almost. His eyebrows knitted in concentration as his mouth hung opened and his eyes closed shut,
too focused on getting you to cum, too focused on the feeling of how good your pussy was clenching around his dick.
“Shit Jay, gonna cum, wanna cum on your dick.” so close, you felt so close to reaching your high as the knot in your stomach was bound to snap at any moment.
“Cum for me, cum for me y/n.” his words were your undoing. Your mouth hung opened as you feel your orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave of pleasure.
Your head leaned back as you moaned out his name, back arching at the intensity of the feeling as your bounces grew sloppier and sloppier.
He sighed as he pulled himself out of you before pumping his dick in front of you, trying to reach his own orgasm.
You didn’t know what came over you as you’re hand swiped across the foggy glass before pinning both of his arms behind his head,
leaving him to look at you speechless as one of your hands trailed down onto his cock and you positioned him on top of your entrance.
”Fuck y/n, what are you doing?” he asked as he looked at you bewildered, you bend down onto his ear as you whispered to him sensually.
“Want you to cum inside me.” he can only moan at your words as his chest breathed heavily. He smiled tiredly as he looked at you.
This was definitely better than any wet dream he’s ever had of you.
"Shit y/n are you sure?" he asked as he raised his eyebrows at you, his eyes widening, second guessing your actions.
"I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to do any-" his words were then cut off by your lips as you closed the distance between your lips and his in abandon.
"I want you to." you spoke as you pulled away, smiling softly at him making him sigh, a grin plastered on to his face.
“Go on then, don't let me stop you any longer.” he spoke softly as he moaned, eyes rolling back as he feels you sinking down onto him once more.
Your hand was still pinning his hands down as you started bouncing on his dick faster as he relished on the feeling of your pussy clenching on his dick.
“Oh fuck y/n I’m gonna cum.” he moaned out as his eyebrows furrowed. “Fuck wanna paint your fucking insides so fucking bad.”
You felt so fucking incredible around him. Clenching around him in all the right places with his dick buried into your hilt.
His eyebrows knitted at the sensation. Already so close to his edge.
The feeling of you alone could make him cum.
“Cum in me then, give it to me.” The way you were already pinning him down and the way you were riding him so good was enough to make him oh so close to reaching his high,
but your words sent him over the edge as his back arched and his thrusts met your bounces.
You moaned his name rather loudly as you felt his cum filing up your pussy.
A string of curses and moans followed as you both rode out his high.
The thrusts that were once harsh and rough, soon turned sloppy as you felt his cum painting your walls.
“Shit.” you cursed as you breathed heavily, finally spent.
You settled on his lap for a moment before slipping yourself out of him, his arms guiding you to lay on top of him comfortably.
Your heavy breathes mingled with each other as he snook a glance at your cunt. You sighed as he guided you to lean back, exposing your pussy to him.
“Fuck.” he cursed as he saw a bit of his cum oozing out of you.
Using his thumb he pushed back the cum back into you, a small sigh left your lips as he did so.
“Wouldn’t want that to go to waste.” he spoke as he smiled at you. You smiled back at him as the both of you started to chuckle at your disheveled states.
“You look handsome.” you spoke as you pushed some of the strands of hair on his forehead, before cupping his cheeks as he chuckled,
the blush on his face prominent as ever post-sex.
“You look beautiful y/n.” he smiled as he hugged your waist earning a giggle from you, before taking your lips in his as the kiss soon melted into passion.
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quirkle2 · 10 months ago
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so one thing i rly like abt mob psycho (shocker !) is that the Incident between the kageyama brothers is kept entirely contained. like, most other shows—at least ones that i've watched—feature long monologues of characters traumadumping to other characters, sometimes in the middle of fights, and while that Does happen a lot in mob psycho, the kageyama bros never do this abt The Incident, and i think that's a fascinating choice bc The Incident is the entire reason why the show starts in the first place. it's the reason mob meets reigen at all, it's the reason mob doesn't fight back against teru, it's the reason ritsu goes through his character arc. it is arguably the Most Important Story Beat and the show has countless opportunities to let the characters spill their guts on screen for drama, and yet neither of the brothers let this spill. neither of them talk about it, except with each other
there's been numerous times i've watched shows where people suddenly traumadump and tell their life story unprompted when truly not a single soul asked, but with mob psycho, both the bros are Constantly berated with questions on Why they do these things; Why are you so off-putting and quiet, Why do you not use your powers, Why won't you fight back, Why do you want psychic powers so badly, Why are you ruining these students' lives now that you have them, Why are you helping me defeat my evil dad . all of these questions eventually loop back around to The Incident, and yet neither of them ever let it slip. neither of them Ever share, and the only time they come anywhere close to it is in the wd arc
it is the event that Shaped Who They Grew Into, and yet it is not known by the main cast at all. teru has no idea, even reigen doesn't seem to understand the full extent of it, even though The Incident is what caused mob to come to his office. their parents prolly don't even know
idk, i just think that's a good detail. the brothers both hold the weight of their troubles close to their chests. and even though that makes it seem as though they figure it out on their own, it couldn't be further from the truth
their own experiences with the people around them allowed them to grow and make mistakes and learn from them, all without sharing their deepest secret, and then both took those new experiences and lessons and applied it to this issue, and learned Again
meanwhile, the rest of the cast is largely clueless abt this Entire issue. it's Crazy to me that most of the cast has no idea what the main issue is, and i think it's a brilliant choice. these characters helped the kageyama bros without ever meaning to or knowing about it, no matter how big or small the role. you truly never know what somebody else is going through !
and even in the end, it's not like there's a big reveal that tells every character the kageyama brothers' Tragic Backstory. nobody fucking knows, still. like Yeah they should totally talk this out and go to therapy or smth but i just like the fact that the story doesn't treat it as some dramatic fanfare for Other Character's Shock Value and doesn't let them air their troubles to the ends of the earth. i appreciate that
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shadyr4m · 4 months ago
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REWATCHING SEASON 2 EPISODE 7 OF ARCANE
+ some of my highlights and notable moments that I enjoyed bc people can’t understand media anymore
This is mostly an infodump of stuff I can fit into a twitter thread/didn't rly want to make into a thread. I'm not great at words so I apologize in advance, I am sure there are many people much better at analysis than I.
I want to start off by saying I am heavily invested in timebomb so this is very much going to be a ship analysis. If you're looking for someone unbiased i am very much not the person for that 😭
FIRST OFF:
The disc on the music box is adorable!!! It features au Powder (who I am going to refer to as just Powder for the duration of my analysis) and au Ekko
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Compared to the normal Disc
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This is very obviously because it takes place in a different universe, one without Vi or "Jinx".
The first scene starts off with AU Ekko writing in his notebook. (Cute mention is Powder's doodle in his notebook!!) Then we see flashes of the wild rune. This is when AU Ekko switches to canon Ekko.
Also one of my favorite silly images from this episode is this one.. Powder is being so adorable and Ekko is just scared out of his MIND. it's so silly.
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In the Last drop, Powder asks Ekko. "What is up with you? You've been out of it all day?". One thing I noticed in my rewatch is that i think Powder is aware this Ekko isn't HER Ekko. This is just one instance of many that makes me think this.
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This hideout seems so much more vibrant and loved, similar to Jinx's hideout after Isha. It's colorful. There are guard rails that I like to think was pushed by Vander. We can see Ekko's art scattered around. It just shows how much more support and family Powder has compared to Jinx, which i mention a lot.
Id also like to note Ekko being shocked au him went to powder for help. In his mind at this time he believes Jinx to be all that is left, no more Powder. Through out the episode we see that change.
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Notice how Powder gets upset at Ekko in this scene. However, she doesn't react explosively like Jinx would've. She handled it in a way that shows she had support. She told him to leave instead. Again, the main difference between Powder and Jinx isn't only Vi but also the existence of multiple support systems that Jinx simply didn't have.
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THIS FLASHBACK! Oh my god this flashback. The fact it happened after he upset Powder? I think it shows just how much he truly cares about Jinx/Powder. He remembers VIVIDLY the day that he thought he killed her. Jinx was his childhood best friend, and I don't think that kind of feeling ever truly goes away. He doesn't want to hurt any version of her, not even the alternate universe her. We see that showcased more later on. Also, random probably insane note. He is interrupted by small children playing, having fun. This isn't a coincidence, it shows he does miss the moments from when they were kids.
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While talking with Heimerdinger, we see Ekko look at Powder multiple times. Watching her laugh and be expressive, he smiles. When she doesn't return it we see him get upset. Once more this brings me to my point that he doesn't want to hurt her. Considering he hasn't known this Powder very long you can see where I gather my point that he doesn't want to hurt her in GENERAL. Any version of her.
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THIS SCENE!! He is such a bad liar it's adorable. This brings me to my earlier point, Powder knows what's up!! She suspects something 100%. He is talking about this dream her like it was real.
"You aren't the kind of person who helps other people with their projects. Your ideas change the world. I can't shake the feeling that that's who you're supposed to be."
Are you LISTENING TO THIS? He is obviously talking about Jinx. You can tell this by the first sentence because obviously Powder IS that kind of person. He's starting to see that Jinx is just a part of Powder, one that is unavoidable and that he unknowingly appreciates in a sense. Like two sides of one coin he can't see Powder without Jinx and that is good. I think it is here he realizes truly just how much he cares about Jinx.
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This whole montage is beautiful but I want to zero in on two things. Powder's reaction to the notebook and how she looks at Ekko after. NOW THIS. This is the nail in the coffin for her. She knows that this is not her Ekko. She has fully gathered that he isn't from this universe.
Also heimerdinger totally knows how Ekko feels you cannot tell me otherwise. Pushing him to go to the party? yeah he knows what you are.
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THIS WHOLE SCENE. I AM NOT ANALYZING THE WHOLE THING HERE BUT IT IS GORGEOUS. I saw someone talking about how it was animated on 4's to signify the way Ekko can only go back 4 seconds and I honestly shed a tear. THE SONG TOO? I encourage everyone to look at the lyrics because they're beautiful.
Okay now for my favorite part of this episode so much to dissect and i'm totally going to mansplain but yk..
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"I used to dream the undercity could be like this" — That sets the tone for the whole conversation and just what world he is talking about. The canon one.
"But somewhere, I got consumed by all the ways it wasn't. I gave up on it. Gave up on YOU." — Heavy emphasis on this line. Once more he is talking about Jinx. He is talking about how he got so consumed by the way that Jinx wasn't good, and he gave up on her. Believed she was irredeemable. Powder showed him that Jinx is capable of love and happiness, it's just under that tough protective shell. The undercity in the metaphor is Jinx, from my interpretation.
"I promise i'll never forget this." — Now time for my insanity. He doesn't forget this. That's why he saves Jinx from ending her life in the first place. He remembers Powder and knows that with the right support Jinx doesn't have to be the way she is. It's not that she "needs to be fixed" she just needs to be LOVED, like Powder. He sees that now. He sees how in the au the love that everyone shares for one another shaped the undercity beautifully, and made everyone in it much healthier mentally despite going through hardships. That is beautiful. People with mental illness are not unlovable they just need more support, it can't be cured, or fixed just healed. Mental illness is always there it is how you DEAL with it that matters.
Nothing too major to talk about with the kiss. It's sweet I love it, but nothing too notable for me to say about it.
Finally, Ekko leaves the au. I have seen people say that this is a sacrifice, he could've had everything he wanted and he gave it up to save the people at home. But i take insanity to another level. I see this as him appreciating his home. He knows he can never truly love this Powder because she isn't the version he fell in love with. He learned to appreciate Jinx even through her flaws, and that while this world has everything he could want and more he can have that home too.
I am experiencing HEAVY timebomb brainrot if you can’t already tell. I was tired of people taking things in the complete wrong way with this episode, if anyone has different views pls tell me I love hearing how other people took certain scenes. there are a few scenes I love but I would’ve made this post way too long..
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datcravat · 1 year ago
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HI HELLO I love your art So much,,, do you have any tutorials on how you render your stuff? For example, the colors you use & how you pick them, how you get that pink tone around the Lineart (I think) (it's just rly cool). I would love to see stuff like that, cuz your art is Such visual candy (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)
Hey! Thank you so much, I'm glad you like my art, I worked hard to make it what it is!! Means a lot you appreciate it!!!!!!
I've had no professional art training, I seriously don't know what I'm doing and struggle making tutorials. But will try here!!
For me the colour work is really situational on the drawing! I find myself experimentally attempting to weaponize colour theory and there's a lot of instinct involved that I can't figure out how to verbalise yet. Here's an example of some thought process I have:
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My main advice is to play with sliders a lot and really experiment (that's what I do for every drawing)!
To get the pink glow around your lineart, copy your lineart layer, fill the copy in with a pink of your choice (sometimes I do a gradient), blur the layer (experiment with how much blur you'd like), put it directly below the lineart layer, and set the layer to multiply (or any mode you think looks pretty)!
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You may want to adjust your piece's brightness/colours after applying it and sharpen the image after exporting.
A lot of colour gradients are involved and on their own they can eventually compromise the gritty/punchy style, especially the ones that are between extreme and subtle. A good way to combat this is with screentones/haftones!! You can use them to diversify colours and imply shading/texture.
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I recommend going nuts and having a lot of fun with it to find what works for you!
I often add a lot of small lens flares as they satisfyingly cut through the piece, imply flash photography (which goes well with the strong black shading), add visual noise to areas you don't want to be your main point of focus, are a great way to show speculars, and idk man sparkles are just pretty haha.
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Go nuts with them and have fun!! When you get them to look good, think to yourself why that is.
I made a tutorial ~1 year ago on how I shade with black. This simple trick will really help it look good, 3D and rendered - it just requires a lot of knowledge about shadows to start with. I have a lot of experience rendering "normally" which helped me learn how to use black in an experimental way.
Minor correction that the shadows labelled "ambient occlusion" in the tutorial are actually just normal shadows, ambient occlusion is total lack of light.
I hope this is useful to you!! You have a knack for art, your work is very inspired. Please keep drawing!! I am still learning too, let's keep going baby.
-Cravat x
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