#But I can't help that every time I see actual currently used slang in a game it feels so weird

[pocketjeeble]

If I had a dollar for every time I saw 'rizz' mentioned in ZZZ, I'd have 2 dollars. If I also had a dollar for every time it didn't give me mental damage, I'd still have 2 dollars.

[butch-with-a-deep-voice]

I've realized something the last few days. I've never experienced big city queer culture. Most Canadian cities are notoriously small compared to metropolis sized centers like San Francisco, Washington, London, New York, Toronto or Vancouver aside of course. While the city I'm in is in fact a city, we're in that weird "big town, small city" micro-cosm of feeling like a big queer community up until you realize it really isn't.

We currently only have like. 3 gay bars, and one of them has lowkey been rejected by the community for pandering to rainbow washing and it's rampant ableism/micro-transphobia. The other is incredibly loud and packed all the time, and the third just feels a little sticky at all times. We don't have dedicated lesbian spaces. The bars we do have, only one is accessible. We don't really have alcohol free queer spaces. Usually our events are so dominated by white people that BIPOC queers just don't show up, and I feel alone as an indigenous person.

Just about every dyke I know in this city at this point complains about having slept with eachother by 3 person proxy at the very least. I can't go out without risking running into an ex, or a friend of an ex. Every Non-monoganous person here has heard of or met "that one guy" in the poly community because word just gets around like that in a smaller space (he loves the reputation don't worry). Every trans femme has at one point or another has a well meaning Gen X cishet person ask us if we know a certain trans woman that championed trans rights like 30+ years ago (it doesn't help that I actually had dinner with her once a year as a kid).

We've also had people used to big city culture come here and comment on the fact that our culture is amazing because of this unique position. Our Pride Parade isn't a party. It's still actively a protest, it's still a march to remind the conservative government that wants to take our rights away that we will fight them tooth and nail. Every big city queer who attends our Pride has said so to me. It's a point of well, pride for me. But, I want to see their party. I want to see what guaranteed diverse community feels like.

As a baby queer I thought my city's queer culture would never cease to show me new things, but as time goes on I realized its small. Being single, I've realized how not tied down I am. I'm free to go wherever really, within financial limitations. I want to travel. I want to go to big cities. I want to engage in big big queer communities abroad. Learn what their experiences are. How their local history shaped their slang, titles, identities, and social networks. I want to expand how I love my queer self and community by seeing how others love their queer selves and community.

[psychewritesbs]

Heyyyyy,

So about the 'love in the time of cholera' post. I did read it in English back in 2017 and i started ' thousand years of solitude ' around that time too and somehow lost the book and never bothered to buy another. And then i read something else by Marquez ( of love and other demons) and i have tried to study Spanish ( which hasn't been great because all i could manage was a tourist level knowledge). what i wanted to ask is how can i study spanish so that I'll be able to read spanish literature???

YO! WHAT is UP?

ok so... first, you're read about as much Hispanic literature as I have and I was raised in México. I feel a bit ashamed bahaha. I grew up south of the border with the US so my parents forced me to learn English by only buying media in English. It paid off because I've never been popular but whenever there was an English test, everyone wanted to sit behind me.

Second, that's a loaded question. mmmmm so... you're probably in the same situation as me with Japanese.

For context, I studied Japanese in a formal setting in college for about 2 years, and then took private group lessons more recently sometime around 2018 for about a year.

So part of my recommendation involves hiring private lessons. It's really one of the best ways to get personalized feedback. I wish there was something like that where I live rn but, alas, such is life.

Anyways, I'll elaborate under the cut...

Get your brain used to the language

Watch anime without subtitles or listen to podcasts

What I've done with Japanese is that I sometimes turn subtitles off when watching anime. This mostly works if I've seen the show or movie enough times to where I know what the dialogue is about. So like, I literally watch You Name (which I've only seen about three hundred million times), in Japanese without English subtitles and I can ALMOST understand the movie in its entirety. You'll be surprised by how much you do understand.

That said, you can actually watch jjk in Spanish! I think that to prepare for season 2 I'm going to watch season 1 in Spanish just because why not 🤣. Spanish dubs are always fun and I've always much preferred them over English dubs.

The dub Crunchyroll uses seems to have Mexican actors so the accent and should be pretty neutral. They most likely also avoid highly Mexicanized slang. So no need to worry, Megumi won't be saying "wey, no mames" every 5 words like I do.

Another thing I started doing but haven't done lately is that I found a podcast, spoken entirely in beginner-friendly Japanese, for Japanese learners. I am sure there's something similar in Spanish. Again, the point is to get your brain used to the language.

Pick up a children's book in Spanish and start reading

Why children's book? Because the vocabulary and grammar will be much simpler and accessible. You can gradually move up to more complex works as you see fit.

I have a Japanese manga magazine that I translate as I read.

Another benefit of this is that it gets you used to how language is used in its native form.

For example, if you read a children's book, you'd be learning Spanish as a child would, as opposed to learning text-book Spanish.

Follow accounts on social media by Spanish-speaking content creators or language instructors

I follow a couple of Japanese private tutors on Instagram like this one and a couple of accounts that use content to promo their work. That way, as I'm doing the endless mindless social media scroll, I can at least do something productive.

Use language learning apps

This one is a simple one. It's pretty basic but they are helpful. The point is to practice. This is a good way to get the basic grammar rules and vocabulary going.

Hire a tutor or enroll in private lessons

Ok I simply can't emphasize this enough. I really would take private group Japanese lessons in person again if there was such a thing where I currently live.

But there's also online tutors. What I like about having a proper teacher is that they can help correct grammatical or vocabulary errors. You should be able to find someone by doing a google search for private language tutors.

Another thing that hiring someone does is that it creates structure, accountability for you to actually sit down and study AND it creates a habit of it.

Which brings me to my next point...

DON'T BE LIKE ME!

I've literally shared what I do to study Japanese, but like I actually don't do it consistently enough for anything to stick for longer than 5 minutes.

Looooooool epic fail.

You want to be as consistent as possible which is defo not one of my strengths. So don't be lazy like me.

This is a long-term project so you are defo in it for the long run if you decide to go through with it. I feel like Márquez uses big words but Laura Esquivel's use of language is very simple and you might be able to understand her if you take the time to just sit down and translate at least a paragraph at a time.

頑張って！

Keep me updated / mantenme al tanto!

[spotofimagines]

Rivals Last ~ Jadon Sancho

A/N: So I had this in my drafts before he signed with man united but that's fine, we move, we adapt. A third piece for the @footballffbarbiex summer challenge. Hope you enjoy it :)

Warnings: none - reader is female

Summary: You love both your brothers dearly, but being in the football world with them can make some things a little complicated.

gif by @archivesbvb - gif by @ermuellert - gif by @italynt

Being a footballer meant living in a special world. Being in a footballing family meant living in a special world too. Being the younger sister of Lucas and Theo Hernandez meant living in a really special world. But nobody told you just how crazy it would be for all three of those things to apply to you.

You truly love watching your older brothers play football. They teach you something new during every match you see; even though you play as a striker, their movements and handling of the ball always inspire you to play better. After all, it was their defensive skills that helped you become a good goal scorer growing up since they never let a tackle go unchallenged in the park and you had to find out how to manoeuvre around them. A lot easier said than done.

Currently Lucas is signed with Bayern Munich. In his time there so far, he has learnt the heritage, history, and importance of wearing the badge and defending its honour in every match they play, especially derbies. Having supported Lucas, it quickly became easy for you to support Bayern Munich too and celebrate their victories like it was your own team. You'd always managed to do it with the clubs both your brothers played for, letting the atmosphere of the fanbase carry you away.

You have just finished your second season in England with Manchester City women's team. You'd settled in nicely now, having learnt a lot of the English language and culture already. The experience was made so much easier because of the help given by your welcoming teammates and the staff that translated things into French and Spanish during your first months there.

Fans were a little disappointed during the 2019 summer transfer window when it was confirmed all three Hernandez siblings would be leaving Spain to play separately in England, Germany and Italy, joking that no one could know what might happen with you all so far away. However, to you, it made things easier, as Lucas and Theo would stop making so many awful jokes about each other's clubs, only to join forces to diss your club even more afterward. Now the only connection you have to the clubs you all play for is the want for your sibling to win with them. And it is a great feeling. A welcome change of pace.

But no new change to your life felt as good as your blossoming "relationship", situationship, whatevership, you have with Jadon Sancho.

It all started with you flirting back and forth on social media, which turned itself into countless hours of DMs no one else could see. You congratulated his goals and he congratulated your wins. All the light-hearted teasing and the warm-hearted compliments stayed in your own little bubble. The only thing peeking out was your silly inside rule that if you were going to comment on a post, it had to be emojis only, stretching to a few words if you really couldn't help yourself - but it would earn you taunts from the other for the rest of the night.

Some eagle-eyed fans noticed how you'd been liking each other's posts every time they appeared for a while now, but it just added to the fun and thrill you got from flirting with him so much.

You weren't meant to be forming a bond with Jadon. He played for your brother’s rival. He was supposed to be the enemy. Someone you should dislike with a snap of your fingers. Certainly not a boy to fall for like you have.

You couldn't help yourself. Lucas and Theo had helped you since you moved to England by being the steady rocks they always were, cheering you on from afar. Your new teammates had helped you since you moved to England by introducing fun things for you all to do together and taking you under their wings. But Jadon had helped you in a different kind of way. He gave you a new kind of comfort and reassurance when you talked. He became someone to turn to with all your interesting news and your curious problems. He told you the good places to visit around the city that he remembered from his time there and taught you English slang to make your teammates laugh. You spoke three languages to varying degrees now, and you'd managed to pick up more German vicariously through Lucas in two years faster than Jadon had done living in Germany in four years, so you'd clue him into rude German phrases you had asked Lucas about, alongside the French and Spanish swear words he used more often than English ones now when you text. 

Even though a language barrier comes up once in a while, you have both learnt behaviours from each other and crave the contact you share. Jadon was starting to drop everything to send replies to you, a change his teammates have noticed and jokingly mock him for. Little did they know the unknown girl they joke he is smitten over is the sister of their rival.

Theo is the one in your family you usually tell about the boys you go out with; boyfriends and dates have been shared with him since you were 13 and doting on your first crush. He does the same with his girlfriends; asking advice and telling you more than you need to know at times. So, when you all went home for a bit of family time around Christmas, nothing could stop him from noticing the tell-tale signs that you had something going on. He already figured out through persistence that it was another player you were getting involved with, and his insistent questioning hasn't stopped in his search for who the player is.

But you keep it hidden from Lucas, and you don't know when you'll tell him. He has been your protector since you were kids, comforting you on sad nights when no one else was there, teaching you little secrets about how to navigate through the world, he even punched a boy who teased you once at school. The idea of telling him you were chatting romantically to another player would be trouble enough, but telling him it was a Dortmund player might just end up in another schoolground incident. You hadn't wanted Theo to know for fear he'd go dishing your dirt to Lucas, but he discovered it on his own and there was nothing you could do.

Who knows what might become of this thing you have with Jadon, and lord knows your eldest brother owns a hard as nails death stare that just might do Jadon in, but for now you actually quite like having the secret. A little mystery tucked away up your sleeve.

The rush you always get when Lucas calls your phone as you're typing a text to the Englishman,  feeling as though the first words from the other end will be shouts of how he knows everything and he'll never speak to you again for keeping it a secret, fills you with dread at times. But it never is the reason he calls, and it turns out he is just making plans or has something funny to tell you. But the way your heart thumps as you go back to texting Jadon, that is part of the chase you have to admit you enjoy.

Hardcore fans online have noticed the past few months that when you do interviews in English, the odd slang term comes up during jokes - terms you hadn't used before and stem more from London boroughs than northen towns - so speculation of how you'd learnt these things easily coincided with dating rumors.

Lucas had seen the speculation online; seen fans trying to put your interactions with the Dortmund player together through both your instagram stories and comments and the tweets you both had liked about the other. Lucas had even grown suspicious of the little questions you asked him about Germany, German phrases and his lifestyle there, not knowing why you would need nor want to know those things. But Lucas doesn't believe it. He knows that you know better to mix with a Dortmund boy.

Sometimes an older brother just doesn't get it quite right…

Soon, the chance will come to really see if your connection is something you can build on. Jadon's new signing with Manchester United has been confirmed and he will be moving back to England. It is a great opportunity to get to see him more often, rather than the odd rendezvous point or clandestine trip during small breaks in the season. You'll spend more time face to face instead of over the phone. You'll get to wake up in his bed and him in yours, without needing to sneak away from hotel rooms afterwards. You'll maybe even get to go on a proper date, just the two of you, where you can flirt across the table your joined hands rest upon. Hanging out with Jadon won't be the first time you've spent time together in person. However, getting a full day with only the two of you where you won't have to pretend you hardly know who he is, and you won't have to pretend your eyes aren't meeting across the group of people you're in - it fills your stomach with knots and butterflies.

A certain pressure has fallen off you now Jadon has no growing rivalry with Lucas, but not completely. You won't be able to take back the way their teams made the other feel in the past, but the fact there won't be more of it next season comforts you a little. The biggest thing that will hold you back from going public before the new season starts will be the media, but that is an issue you can't even begin to worry about yet. You are too caught up in the excitement of being in the same town as Jadon to care. Rumours are spinning crazier than ever about you two as some of your liked tweets about his move got reposted by sports pages and fan blogs - now joking about him being your rival instead of your brother's - and yet it didn't stop you, no longer all that bothered about keeping a low profile now you both will be living away from Lucas. If he gets mad, all he will be able to do is shout down the phone, and whilst you never want that to happen, you know the time to flourish with Jadon and capitalise on the foundation you have already built is better than ever, brothers be damned.

There are big changes coming for the both of you, yet one thing will remain the same no matter the outcome of your relationship. You can't quite stop being football rivals.

[dinner-djarin]

dar'manda (Mando x f!reader insert)

Prologue

(Inspired by this scene)

Summary: You've been working as a merchant on Nevarro for years now, only out of necessity. Life really wasn't going your way. At least until the Mandalorian came by your booth. Now he's all you think about, and soon he'll be even more.

Warnings: Probably some swearing (real and in universe), violence (eventually), smut (eventually), No use of Y/N, slowburn/fluff (for the first little while)

Notes: Takes place at the end of season 1, and will mostly take place between season one and two. I have been sitting on this for a while due to some fear about reception by the fandom, but honestly I just need to stop thinking about it so here we go. She's going out into the world, and I hope you enjoy. (Also I wrote this prologue like 2 months ago so it isn't quite where I'd like it to be but if you read this please just stick with me, I swear my writing gets better lol)

You don’t know how long it’s been since you last saw him. Weeks? Months? But you can’t get that damn tin can out of your head.

You really have no reason to be this hung up on him. He’s barely spoken to you, you’ve never even seen his face, so it should be easy enough to move on from whatever childish infatuation you have over him. Right? Maker, what kind of person crushes on a mask and a suit of armour?

But there’s something about him, something that keeps him planted in your subconscious. You’ve tried to find the words to explain it, but nothing ever comes close. You can't even begin to understand how this man has completely overtaken your every waking thought.

He used to come by every couple of weeks, and you’d savour every delectable minute of the interaction, but that was all before shit hit the fan of course. You weren't there to see it but when you came back to work the next day it was all anyone could talk about.

“Apparently the metal man broke some Guild rule, and practically all of the other bounty hunters tried to kill him for it.” You heard over your shoulder. As much as you liked to keep to yourself, you couldn’t help form eavesdropping on a conversation between merchants. You did have a guilty pleasure for drama, probably to fill the uneventful void that your mundane life had now become.

“The Mandalorian? He broke their code then!” one exclaimed.

“I heard he went back for a bounty,” someone else whispered.

“What could make someone do something so stupid?” questioned a merchant lady you already didn’t particularly like.

“He doesn’t strike me as stupid,” you interrupt, trying to stick up for the man you were currently enamoured with. “If he did it, there must be a valid reason.”

“If he did it?” She sneered. “Do you not see the damage he left behind? People will be out of business for sure. It’ll take weeks to clean up the mess he made.”

“Then I guess I hope it was worth it. That it wasn't in vain.” You state, putting an end to the conversation. You hoped the man – that you already liked against your better judgement – wouldn’t cause so much harm without some justification.

In the wake of his rebellion, a covert of other masked hunters revealed themselves, shot up the town, and then vanished without a word. And so did your Mandalorian.

Woah hold on. Not yours. Just one random Mandalorian that you’ve said a handful of words to and have harboured a secret crush over.

From the second you saw him you pretty much knew you were screwed. Between the husky modulated voice, and the broad as hell shoulders, there was pretty much no way to quell the instant attraction that rose up in you. His presence alone was suffocating. Nothing could stop the way your vocal cords tightened to the point of forcing out a soft squeal at his sight. The whole time he talked to you, you could feel his visor latch onto your body – pinning you to the spot.

You thought you might find some relief when he left. Quite the opposite. You couldn't help but gawk at the way his body moved, like he knew he was hot shit. He took your damn breath away. And you were glad to know that he couldn't see your lips part to let out a soft moan, or the way they pursed back together as you unconsciously swallowed the suddenly copious amount of saliva pooling in your mouth. Fucking delicious, you thought, shamelessly.

Maybe it was the fact that you knew he could take anyone down in milliseconds. He was untouchable, and this latest defiance proved that. No one crossed the Guild. Well, no one crossed the Guild and got away with it. But if anyone could, it would be Mando.

And there’s another thing. You don’t even know his name. Which means that you’re forced to call him the colloquial slang that is commonly used by outsiders of the Mandalorian culture. “Mando”. You couldn’t help but think about how it almost sounded like an insult, especially when slurred from the mouth of other criminals. You hated the way people spat the word out at him, obviously trying to get him worked up; to see what he was made of. It made you desperately wish that you had a better name to call him, his real name. An intimate piece of knowledge that you could hold on to, something of him that no one else had.

Maybe that made you selfish. Even so, there was so much you wished you knew about him. He was a complete mystery.

To be fair, he probably didn’t even know your own name. You can't recall him asking for it, or if you ever introduced yourself. You were pretty much a bumbling mess the first time you met him. To the point where even if you had tried to say your name it probably would have sounded like you were speaking Huttese. Although, who could blame you. It wasn’t very conventional to introduce yourself to every customer. The people on Nevarro usually kept to themselves, especially the bounty hunters. There wasn’t much room for ‘customer service’. But damn you wish you had tried to make some sort of introduction. Even if it had come out as incoherent nonsense, you think it may have made talking to him later a bit easier.

However, none of that matters if he never comes back, and you bet he won’t. He’s smarter than that. To pull what he did, he’s probably on the other side of the galaxy right now.

Even so, you’ll miss the shared awkward silences and stolen glances that came with each of his visits. Whenever he’d come into the shop, he’d list off what he needed to stock up on, using the most deep and captivating voice you think you’d ever heard. If he hadn’t had that helmet covering his face, you’d swear he stared right into your soul as he did so. It almost made you weak in the knees every damn time. You’d then rummage through each supply crate and gather the best quality of every item, and finally – just to bring your humiliation to an all-time high – you’d give him a discount for absolutely no discernible reason. He took notice of the reduced price the first time and thanked you, only for you to be berated by your boss once he left. Eventually, to your dismay, the niceties came to a halt. Maybe he forgot what full price was, maybe he just couldn’t care less.

Either way, it looks like you’d risked your job for the last time. It’s a shame. For a planet full of bounty hunters and hardened criminals, there’s actually not a lot to entertain you. A shootout here, an escaped bounty there, but nothing that satisfied your desire for an exciting lifestyle.

The closest you got to that would be each time some wide-eyed, eager, wannabe-bounty-hunter strolled through town looking for a chance to weasel their way up the ladder of the Guild. They definitely thought they were more important than they actually were, and they always made a point of showing off for you. Not that you were anything special, just the closest thing with cleavage usually. They’d probably brag about their rank and their kill counts, things you could not care less about. A few of them actually had the balls to ask you out, but it usually only ended in a free meal or drink. To be fair though that was very intentional on your part. It was fun to play the part of a flirtatious girl from the market for a while, and almost exciting to think about how you were completely screwing over those assholes.

Over the time you’ve spent alone in the galaxy you learned exactly how to read those kinds of people. You knew just how far to go, just what to say or do until you got what you needed. As much as you weren’t a fan of physical affection, you often brushed your target's arm or thigh, played with their hair, or if the situation really demanded it – madeout with them behind the cantina. But you always made a point of stopping before things got too far. You may not be a complete saint, but you knew none of the scumbags you met were worth your time.

You wouldn’t have allowed things to go any further. Not with them. Going any further could only be a letdown, and you were fine to take those matters into your own hands…. literally. You may be a complete flirt, but only as a skill to survive in this grimy and dangerous galaxy. You learned early on that being young and female was a vulnerability. That was at least until you discovered how that vulnerability could be shaped into one of your most valuable strengths.

When you think about him though… well something about him made your entire badass facade disappear into thin air. You lost any cool you had the minute he walked past your vendor. Not to mention that there was something else about him that told you he’d see right through it anyway. Maybe it was the visor. Some special setting to read the level of bullshit.

As far as you’ve seen, he doesn’t take anyone’s shit. He definitely isn’t the type to make others feel comfortable in a conversation. He says precisely what he needs to get his point across, nothing more. Never once had you heard him use more than 10 words at a time.

On a few occasions you were lucky enough to end up in the cantina at the same time as him. Whether you were on a break or entertaining some dead-beat for free lunch, you remember how fast your heart would beat when the glint of his helmet met your vision. You wondered if he noticed your presence, or if he even recognized you away from your vendor at the market.

One time you were in the next booth over. Your spine straightened, and your whole body shivered when he slid into his seat and placed himself directly behind you. The proximity was electrifying. It made every neuron in your body fire rapidly and your blood vessels pump impossibly fast. You were probably supposed to be listening to the slimeball buying your drinks drone on about how impressive his last capture was, but the baritone emanating from behind ensnared every ounce of focus you had.

“I’ll take the highest pay” he muttered through the modulator.

“I do have other hunters, Mando. I can’t always guarantee you get the best of the lot.” replied his employer. A smile maintained on his face even when confronting an unforgiving barricade.

“I’m sure you do. But high price means high risk.” Mando responded. His employer’s confused silence forced him to continue. “Those skilled enough to take on the bounties know better than to do so.”

The Guild leaders' laughter bounced off the walls making many patrons turned their heads, while others continued their business, obviously being used to this behaviour.

You were left puzzled in that moment, completely baffled by this interaction. It wasn't until much later that night when it finally clicked. Although you didn’t know exactly how ranking in the Guild worked, you knew Mando was up there. He had the status to strike fear into almost every other bounty hunter he outranked. Mando had staked his claim long ago, and no one in the Guild was stupid enough to try and take a bounty from him. If he wanted something, he was going to get it.

You’d remember that interaction vividly. Not only because of how close you were to the Mandalorian as you overheard it, but also in service as a reminder to you, proving just how dominant he was in this world. He held power over every member of the Guild, including its leader, whether he wanted to admit it or not. You felt idiotic for not instantly understanding the control he wielded wherever he went. Sometimes it's a wonder how completely oblivious you could be.

Although you certainly were not oblivious to the drastic upgrade he got just before leaving. If you thought Mando was intimidating before, his new head to toe silver armour was sure to strike fear into any of his prey. You remember thinking you saw his reflection pass by earlier in the day, but he quickly dissolved into the shadows, as he often found a way of doing. However, later that night when you had just gotten off from work, he strolled back into the cantina for a new batch of bounties and all eyes were drawn to him. Most eyes were filled with jealousy since – as his employer made clear – he completed the job none of them could. They were probably even more enraged by the fact that he wore his reward back into the room, when most of them would have gladly taken that metal to the highest bidder and sold it for a hefty profit. However, you saw him differently than the rest. Your eyes were fixed on him in fear and in wonder. This metal man, already a force of nature, just became that much more impossible to defeat. As if anything could get to him before, it was clear now that no one could reach the Mandalorian.

But again – it doesn't matter. Not a single soul on Canto Bight would bet his shiny ass walks back into this sector. Not unless he has some kinda death wish…

Turns out he has some kinda death wish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1 is up now!

More notes: Hello there! I hope you enjoyed this lovely mess. I'm not the most proud of it, but I do want to continue this story (which I know we've all read 100 iterations of by now). Either way, I'm having fun writing it, so I might as well post it!

I'd love a like or comment if you'd be willing to share, I'm very new to writing so I'd enjoy any constructive criticism (especially on the first few parts, I know they need work, but at this point I just want to stop thinking about it and continue on with the story). Also this will be ongoing, so if you wanna keep reading feel free to drop your @ in my inbox or in the comments and I can tag you when I update!

So long for now my fellow helmet whores!

[omgsomeonesomewhereonearth]

Okay, so a while ago I saw a (very true) post about how Deceit absolutely deserves to be carried princess style and then I spent two hours on pinterest looking at lolita style dresses that reminded me of him and as usual I am very obsessed with moceit and I may have accidentally fallen in love with the idea of prince Deceit and commoner Patton.

Deceit is a prince who is known throughout several lands for being very beautiful and has no shortage of suitors seeking his hand.

But he also has a reputation for being super harsh with said suitors and many a reknowned knight has been crushed by his harsh commentary

So it's sort of a thing, across the kingdom that he's incredibly gorgeous and highly desired, but no one seems to stand a chance because he's rejected everyone who's ever tried.

Enter Patton

We all love Patton as a baker. I also tend to like him as gardener, and he's seeking a job at the palace

So he's the new garden hand, he tends to the palace gardens, he's incredibly good with the plants, often to the point of irritating the people who work along side him

(His special trick is that he talks to the plants. They appreciate his jokes and regard him as a friend)

And maybe Deceit is taking a stroll in the palace gardens, he's admiring the lovely flowers and he hears Patton chattering away, joking around with the plants as he's watering them, as one does.

The jokes are ridiculous, ofcourse. As is the the fact that the man is talking to plants.

But also...kind of funny?

And then he turns a corner and actually catches sight of Patton, and...well.

He's not incredibly handsome.

He definitely isn't staring

He wouldn't even think to notice that his shirt sleeves have been rolled up

Or that his ands and forearms look incredibly strong, presumably from hours working in the garden (he wouldn't know; he's a prince, his keeps his hands nice and soft and covered in gloves in all times if he can help it, thank you)

The way Patton's hair is falling in eyes a little bit and the fact that he has a bit of dirt in his nose is kind of endearing was exactly the kind of thing he might have sent a desperate suitor packing for

(Look, it's nothing personal, he just doesn't particularly want to get married and no one ever gave him the option to just...not have suitors. So instead he has to find other excuses to be rid of them)

Anyway, so here's Deceit, not staring at the garden hand busy at work, and trying to come up with a suitably clever remark to make the boy look up from his work

Why is that something he wants, you ask? How dare you question the prince.

Anyway, so as Deceit is standing here trying to think of something cool to say and wondering why it's so hard all of a sudden

Patton makes a funny joke, and Deceit laughs

Which is frankly, mortifying, but it does get Patton's notice

It's a very cute laugh. And it's definitely not a laugh that Patton has heard before

Seriously, about three people working at the palace laugh at his jokes and he knows what they sound like

So he turns around, and he's face to face with the prince and...wow

Patton has heard the rumors, he knows, as a fact, that the prince is handsome

And he's seen Deceit from what's considered a respectable distance, considering the disparity in their social status

But this is his first time really seeing him, and the rumours do not do Deceit justice.

He's the prettiest man Patton has ever laid eyes upon

He's quite a bit taller than Patton, but he looks so...sweet, and delicate, with his fine clothes, and the way his face has gone all pink from being caught watching the gardener

Patton knows, he's fully aware that if a member of the royal family comes across him while he's working, he's supposed to bow respectfully, and greet them by their title, and not say anything else until they ask him a question

Instead, he decides to risk his job and his head by outright grinning at the one of the most feared nobles in the land, and ask him what he thinks of the the flowers that he's been hard at work planting

Look, he couldn't help it okay!

It's not his fault, you try looking into those eyes and still being able to remember protocol!

Deceit is taken aback, obviously

Not only is his behaviour wildly inappropriate, no one's ever talked to him in such a casual manner before!

...No one has ever talked to him like this before

He might actually kind of like it

Patton's accent is not what he's used to hearing, and he knows he's meant to scoff at the frank manner of speech, and all the slang that he doesn't understand

But he doesn't want to

It's kind of cute, he decides, and it's doing things to his insides that he wasn't aware was possible

And even if Patton's voice is a little rough around the edges, the way he's gazing at the young prince is anything but

And even when he decides to be cheeky and overstep his bounds even further by suggesting that prettiest flower in the garden certainly hadn't been planted by him, or anyone else for that matter-

Well.

It's certainly not the first time Deceit's received a compliment like that, but the way Patton says it, while biting back a grin, as if he knows he shouldn't but he couldn't help himself anyways-

It's different, it's so very different to every other time he's heard it

And as for Pattton, if he thought Deceit's laugh was cute, he's far gone by the time the prince opens his mouth

His voice is just so lovely and smooth, and gosh, he just sounds like royalty, Patton is convinced that he'd do anything Deceit asked of him in a heartbeat, and it's not just because he literally works for the royal family

They end up talking for far too long, about the garden, about the weather, and how the weather is affecting the garden, until someone calls for Patton and he's forced to scurry away, and Deceit looks at his watch and realises that he's incredibly late for a meeting with another tiresome noble come to win him over (things do not go well for that guy)

When Patton is asked about why he took so long on one area of the garden, he tries to come up with a convincing excuse

Ultimately, it doesn't really matter how convincing his excuse is, because it doesn't change the fact that he is bringht pink and keeps quietly giggling to himself throughout the course of the evening

Eventually, a few of his friends manage to coax the truth out of his

They are (not unfairly) terrified when Patton shyly admits that he's been spending talking to the prince

They're even more horrified when Patton tells them he flirted with the guy

"I couldn't help it! He was just so cute, I spoke without thinking!"

"This isn't funny, Pat, you know it'll only end badly"

Patton does know, very well.

It doesn't change the fact that he goes to bed thinking about the prince all day.

(And possibly all night)

(At this point he doesn't knownif he can ever stop thinking about the prince)

Meanwhile, if Deceit thought his noble suitors were irritating before, now that he's talked to Patton, they've become downright unbearable

He can't stop replaying the casual way that Patton greeted him, as if he either didn't know or really, really, didn't care that society considered him to be far lower than the noble

It was kind of hot

It was incredibly hot

The lord currently attempting to sweet talk him is dismissed in record time and Deceit resolves to start going walking more frequently

Okay, wow, that ended up way longer than I thought it might, and I somehow still have more ideas. Should I continue this?

[soutselinabloging]

Dog Training Fundamentals - 5 Key Dog Behaviour Factors That Affect Training

Whether you already have experience of dog ownership, are a new dog owner, or are about to be a dog owner, then training your dog is one of the most important aspects you need to consider. Likewise, if you currently have a dog with behavior problems, then dog training is essential. However, knowing you need to train your dog and actually training your dog are two entirely different things. Just where do you start? To successfully train your dog, you need to consider and understand some key facets of dog behavior. Knowing and understanding these 5 facets will greatly improve your dog training.

you can also check out her training program here.

1. The origins of dogs. Dogs are in essence descended from modern-day wolves. While domestication has dampened or eliminated many traits, some key natural instincts still remain. Like wolves, dogs are pack animals. What does this mean? Well, several traits derive from being a pack animal. The important ones when it comes to training are dogs are naturally sociable, they are used to a routine and they are used to a social structure (i.e. the famed alpha male). As sociable animals dogs thrive on the interaction with other dogs. A dog does not consider you as a human but rather a funny-looking dog. Therefore, dogs thrive on the interaction with you. Just like a wild wolf, rejected by the pack, if you starve a dog of this interaction, they will become unhappy and very agitated. When it comes to training, you can use this to reward or punish your dog. Interacting with your dog (e.g. patting, encouraging/excited talk, etc) can be as much of a reward as treats of food. Similarly, ignoring your dog (e.g. turning your back, stern talk, putting them in another room, etc) can be a harsh punishment for a dog. It's definitely better than smacking them. As with all animals (including humans), dogs thrive on routine. If they know what and when they are likely to be doing certain things, then they are relaxed and comfortable. They know what to expect and are not confused by ever-changing circumstances. Training should also stick to a routine. Decide when the best time of the day is best for you to train your dog and stick by that time as rigidly as possible. Your dog will soon get into a routine of expecting to be trained at say 3pm every day and will be prepared for when training time comes. If your dog is ready and expecting to be trained, then it goes without saying that they will actually train better. Within a pack, there is always the alpha male. The dog that leads the pack, protects the pack and ultimately ensures the pack is fed and survives. As mentioned, a dog sees you as a funny-looking dog and not a human. To be a good dog owner you absolutely need to be the alpha male. How many nature programs have you seen where the alpha male is being challenged by one of the other would-be alpha males? Likewise, your dog will be challenging you to be the alpha male - this is a natural instinct for them. You must establish yourself as the alpha male from the beginning. Providing food, interaction, punishing bad behavior, body and vocal language all go towards asserting yourself as the alpha male. If your dog does not consider you as the alpha male, then they will not listen or act on your training instructions.

you can also check out her training program here.

2. A dog's memory. We all know that goldfish have short memories. However, you may be surprised to know that dogs also have short retention memories. If you could tell your dog something, it is likely that by the next day or a few hours later, they will have forgotten. On the other hand (or paw) dogs do have incredibly good associated memory. This basically means that if your dog can associate something with what you tell it then it will likely remember what you told it for years to come. For example, if you told your dog (assuming you could speak the doggy language) that the chocolate biscuits were in the cupboard your dog would probably forget this within a few hours. However, if you showed your dog where the chocolate biscuits were, repeating the words 'chocolate biscuits', every time you said 'chocolate biscuits it would probably go straight to the cupboard. It may also search the cupboard every few hours for the rest of its life looking for the chocolate biscuits but that's not the point. Therefore, when training your dog you need to associate the training topic with something. For example: if you are teaching your dog to sit. If you associate the word 'sit' with getting your dog to physically sit and then giving them a reward. Repeat this a few times and soon your dog will associate your command 'sit' with it physically sitting and then getting a reward. The difficult bit is disassociating the reward - ask yourself why almost every dog will naturally sit when you have food in your hand?

you can also check out her training program here.

3. Doggy language. Despite the comments above, we cannot speak doggy language and dogs cannot speak our language. This is important when it comes to training. You have to choose words for commands that both you and your dog will remember. Be careful not to choose very common words or else your dog will be easily confused when this word keeps appearing within the middle of a sentence. A common word often used in training dogs is 'come'. For this example, it may be better to use a slang version or combine 'come here' into a single short word. The important thing is that when you decide on a word for a command to stick with it and be consistent, otherwise your dog will become confused. I know it can be difficult, especially if you come home to your new TV pulled off the cabinet, to always use pre-selected words when talking to your dog. Your dog does not speak human language and will only know what those few words you have trained it with are (and the tone you have used). So if you start using other words or different tones your dog will not understand. For example: imagine someone speaking to you in a foreign language asking for directions to the city hall. You can't understand a word they are saying yet they get more and more frustrated, talking in a louder and quicker language. Is it your fault you can't understand them? Why are they getting angrier when you have no idea what they are saying? What is their problem? What will I do? Similarly, if you haven't trained your dog to understand what 'sit' is and you start shouting 'sit', 'down on back legs', 'down', etc is it your dog's fault it is looking at you confused and increasingly scared.

you can also check out her training program here.

4. Puppy behavior. Just like babies, puppies do not know how the world works or how they are supposed to behave within that world. They need to be taught and learn what is good, bad, right, or wrong. A healthy and happy puppy will be a bundle of energy, desperate to explore as much as they can as quickly as they can. Dogs do not have good eyes that can see things or hands that can feel the intricacies of objects. Instead, they have noses that can smell things and mouths that can chew objects. While this can come through training and general maturing, the importance of this is that you must be patient and understand where your dog is coming from and why it does what it does.

5. Structure and enjoyment. While I have in a roundabout way touched on these two above, no dog training information would be complete without mentioning these two aspects on their own. However you decide to train your dog, as with routine, you must have a structure to your training. If you have never trained a dog before, how do you know when your dog can start learning to sit, stay, etc, and when it can run down to the local shop and pick the paper up for you? You need to know what it is you actually want to train your dog to ultimately be able to do and what steps you need to take to get to that point. Personnel dog trainers, dog training classes, and dog training guides can all do this. Personally, I prefer to train my own dogs and believe that in the end, you develop a much stronger bond with your dog. Also, your dog is more obedient to you rather than the trainer. However, at the very least, and particularly if you have never trained a dog before, I would recommend purchasing a dog training guide. The small amount of money for a dog training guide, compared to the time you would waste searching for free online tips that will be a mix match of training and will not provide the structure, is just not worth it. More than that, the time saved in training and the end result of a properly trained dog for the rest of its life (around 15 years) is worth many times more than the cost of even the most basic training guide. If you, and more importantly your dog, do not enjoy training then you will never properly train your dog. Training will take longer and be much harder. When you start training your dog remember they are most likely to be a puppy and at that age, all they want to do is run and explore their new world. Be flexible with the time you plan to spend training. Try and keep training short but if your dog appears to be really enjoying it then be prepared to train for longer. Likewise, if your dog will just not focus, then maybe leave it for a bit before going back to it. With a routine and structure to your training, your dog will soon learn that when it comes to training they need to focus for a short length of time and will be better able to do so. I hope the above has been helpful in your desire to train your dog. By knowing why and how your dog does what it does, you should be able to understand its behavior much better. By using this understanding you can better bond with your dog and train your dog. A good training routine and structure as well as plenty of patience and eventually you will have a well-trained dog. Always always always make sure training is enjoyable for both you and especially your dog.

you can also check out her training program here.