#But God what i wouldn't give to be in a Fandom I could write fic for

[rosielav]

Someone liked my fic masterpost in the year of our lord 2023. I made that in 2017 😭 and stopped writing fan fic shortly after lmao

[berberriescorner]

"Late Night Cravings"

Characters: Simon Riley x Black!Reader.

Summary: Missing your deployed husband, you get a late-night surprise that satisfies both your cravings and loneliness.

Warnings: Steaminess, a bit of angst, loneliness, fluff, mentions of phone sex with suggestive language and descriptions, mild swearing, and lighthearted humor. Oh, and if I hadn’t already made it clear at the top of my blog: minors DNI. My content is for the grown folks👏🏾.

Authors Note: Hello my lovelies🫶🏾! I've been toying with the idea of writing for the Simon Riley/Ghost fandom for a while now. Thanks to some awesome encouragement, I finally took the plunge! This story idea wouldn't leave me alone, so I decided to say, "What the hell," and give it a shot. I hope I captured Simon to the best of my ability. Please remember that this is my first attempt at a Ghost fic…and, well, “I’M JUST A GIRL!🥺🥹😩😆” Okay, a grown woman, but a girl nonetheless. I had a wonderful time writing this, and I hope you all enjoy reading it. Word Count: 1,700+.

Inspired By♥️🖤:

The clock ticked past midnight, the silence of the empty house amplifying the sound. In the dimly lit kitchen, the soft glow of the refrigerator illuminated your very pregnant features as you rested a hand on your swollen belly. You sighed, heart heavy with longing for the man you loved, miles away on some unknown continent, carrying out numerous dangerous missions.

You stood there, staring at the array of food in the fridge, a wave of emotions washing over you. Pregnancy hormones wreaked havoc on your mood, and tonight, you found yourself overwhelmed with sadness and longing for your husband, Simon.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you reached for the phone on the counter. Your fingers trembled with emotion. You needed him. His comforting presence, the sweet sound of his soothing voice to chase away the loneliness that threatened to consume you.

"Hey, love," Simon’s voice came through the phone, warm and comforting. His tone was deep and smooth like whiskey on a cold winter's night.

Your breath caught in your throat. Simon’s voice was a mixture of relief and longing washing over you. "Hi," you replied sheepishly, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Everythin' alright, angel?" your husband asked, concern lacing his words.

You sniffled, wiping away a stray tear. "I... I just miss you, Si. And I'm so hungry, but nothing in the fridge sounds good."

Simon’s heart ached at the sound of your voice, at the thought of you being alone, in need of comfort. "I wish I could be there with you, angel. You know I miss you more than anythin’."

A sob escaped your lips, emotions threatening to overwhelm you. "I’m sorry, Si. This is probably the last thing you need to deal with right now. I just wish you were home... I need you here. I need you to hold me. To eat junk food with me in the middle of the night. It’s weird not having you with me throughout this pregnancy. I got so used to you being around the first time. It never mattered how late it was. Whatever I craved, you either got up to fetch or prepare it. I miss eating with you. For goodness' sake, I probably sound like a blubbering cow. God I know I sound selfish. I’m sorry, Si."

“That’ll be enough nonsense. No more name-callin’. Eat all you want, beautiful. Vent all you want. ‘S no bother, love. Truly it isn’t.”

A flicker of determination sparked in Simon’s eyes as he listened to your words. "I may not be able to be there in person, but I can still make sure you're taken care of. Give me about ten to twenty minutes, love. I need to sort something out."

You pouted and whispered your agreement as Simon rushed you off the phone, still unsure of how to satisfy your cravings. You plucked a bottled water from the fridge.  You waddled toward the living room. Your smile lit up the room as you noticed a pregnancy pillow on the couch. Simon had scattered them throughout the house before leaving. He wanted you to find comfort in any room while he was away.

Your fingers hovered over the remote, drawn instead to the flashing screen announcing Simon’s incoming call.“Babe, that was quick. I’m excited it’s a video call. I miss your f—” Your words came to a pause. He was no longer among his comrades. Your husband had whisked away to his sleeping quarters, all gear removed aside from his balaclava. Some would find it terrifying, but Simon knew that in the depths of your deviant little mind, you found it sexy, arousing even. The shirt and pants he wore underneath were deliciously form-fitting. He watched as your eyes roamed over his biceps. Though you couldn’t see, you were certain there was a sexy smirk underneath his balaclava.

“Eyes up here, angel,” he commanded, voice smoky and sensual.

“Damn it, Si. Now I’m craving both food and you. You cheeky bastard. Did I mention I miss your sexy ass,” you questioned in a teasing manner.

Simon leaned in closer to the screen, giving you a devilish wink. “Miss you more, angel. If you can stay up late for me tonight, I may have time to call you and render some special sleep aid,” he offered, voice smoldering with desire.

“Can’t we do that now?” you whined, mouth forming a slight pout.

“Not now, love. There are more important matters to handle first. I’m afraid my work isn’t done for the night. Can you be patient for me?”

“Yes, but—”

“Atta girl,” he husked, aware of what those two words would do to you. 

You tried making a convincing argument, but a knock at the front door interrupted the conversation.

Confusion clouded your thoughts as you heard the sound of the doorbell ringing in the background. Stunned, you made your way to the front door, heart racing with anticipation.

Who on earth could be at my door at this hour?

“Um, Si. Baby, there’s—”

“I know. ‘S alright, love. Answer it.”

As you opened the door, your breath caught in your throat at the sight of a delivery bag from McDonald's sitting on the doorstep. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you realized what your husband had done.

"Si, you didn't have to..." you began, your voice filled with gratitude.

"Just open it, love," he interrupted, his voice warm and reassuring.

With watery eyes, you opened the bag to reveal an array of your favorite foods: chicken nuggets, a fish filet, fries, and a vanilla milkshake. Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized the lengths he had gone to make you feel loved and cared for, even from miles away. Simon understood that as a grown-ass woman. You could’ve ordered the food, but he knew it was more about the gesture and putting your mind at ease that mattered most.

"Thank you, baby," you whispered, love overflowing for the man who had stolen your heart many moons ago.

On the other end of the line, Simon smiled, his heart swelling with love for his wife. "Anything for you, angel. Now, let's eat together."

You giggled as his hand waved over an assortment of goodies you had sent in a care package.

“Baby, don’t you have any real food? Anything other than snacks?” you questioned, worried he wasn’t eating enough.

“Johnny’s on kitchen duty tonight. Not takin’ any chances. Eat up, love. Tell me about your day. Is the lil’ lad holdin’ down the fort? Papa left him in charge. And the littlest lad you’re growing? Is he still kickin’ you all night? He’ll be a ball of energy once he’s on the outside. You jus’ wait and see.”

As the two of you sat on the video call, sharing a meal, bonding over the love for your children. You felt closer than ever before. Distance may have kept you apart, but with a little FaceTime, all was right in the world.

After thirty minutes of conversation, the time came and Simon had to go. 

“Duty calls, angel,” he gruffed, slightly annoyed.

“Go fuck some shit up, baby.”

Though your words were encouraging and playful, Simon saw the worry in your eyes. He did his best to put you at ease. Your husband playfully tapped the skull emblem on his mask. “Always a step ahead. Consider it done, love.” You offered a weak smile and chewed your lip nervously. Almost scared to end the call. Underneath the balaclava, his smirk disappeared. Your reservations could be felt even through the screen. Simon’s eyes darted around for a second before lifting his mask briefly. Your eyes connected as the usually stoic man offered you his most sincere attempt to ease your worried mind. Ashamed of him picking up on your innermost thoughts of panic, you broke eye contact. “Look at me, angel.”  The beautiful shade of your orbs landed on his once more. “It’ll be alright, love. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be careful. Get some rest, and do your best to answer later tonight.”

“Jesus. You always know just what to say, and do you have to be so damn sexy when saying it? I just want to eat you.”

Simon dropped his mask back into place, voice lowered. With a hint of a growl, he responded, “Be sure to get that rest while I’m working, love. You’ll need the energy. I don’t care what time it is. When I get back. I want you pickin’ up on the first ring. Have that camera angle ready. ‘M going to watch you ride my pillow until you’re a shakin’, soppin’ wet, messy puddle. You’ll beg me to come. The filth that falls from my lips will be like music to your ears. I’m going to take you apart piece by piece with my words. Just to put you back together and do it all over again. You’ll be chanting the words ‘I can’t. No more, Si.’ How’s that sound, love?”

“Can you leave already? The quicker you depart, the faster you return,” you panted. “Fuck, Si. I’m so achy for you.”

“There will be no playing while I’m gone. Understood,” he asked, voice gravelly.

“Yes,” you purred.

“Yes, what,” he demanded.

“Yes, sir,” you moaned softly.

“Good girl. I have to go now, angel.”

“LT, wheels up in ten,” Johnny shouted from the doorway.”

“ I heard you the first time, MacTavish. Give me a fuckin’ minute.”

“Simon! Be nice,” you bristled.

Your husband turned back to the screen. He rolled his eyes as Johnny leaned in to meddle.

“Hello, dove. When are you going to leave this grumpy bastard for me,” Johnny questioned.

You started to reply with a teasing answer, but Simon cut you off with an irritated grunt.

“Gotta go, angel.”

“Okay, baby. You take care of my man, MacTavish.”

You giggled at Simon threatening Johnny while ending the call.

“MacTavish, flirt with the missus again.” Instead of ending his statement using words, Simon stared Soap down with a cold, emotionless gaze. His head tilted to the now black screen, and his hand moved to rest on one of his now re-holstered weapons. Johnny smirked, slapping a hand on Simon’s back. “That little lady’s got you head over heels LT.” Simon made no argument, just offered a grunt of agreement.

What did you think, my lovelies? Let me know in the comments! And if you enjoyed it, don't forget to reblog and share the love!

Divider: @firefly-graphics

Wasn’t sure who to tag😩…

Tagging a few of my love bugs💓:

@darqchilddaydreamz @thirtysomethinganduncensored @percosim @astoldbychae @theeblackmedusa @johnnyshoe @thabiddie23 @starrynite7114

…

Inner workings of my mind:

*thirty minutes after posting it-> “they hate it!”*

*takes deep breath. must fight the urge to delete it.*

😆😂🤣.

[melancholiaincarnate]

yours, now and forever

a regency era kento nanami longfic

「 in which ᵎᵎ 」 kento nanami is a fool with his words, and you can't seem to get on his good side.

「 words ᵎᵎ 」 many. (12k)

「 author's note ᵎᵎ 」 wow okay, so. this is my baby. it has gone through many versions, many rewrites, and now it's moved blogs with me. if you know my old blog, you know what fic this used to be, and i felt as if it were wasted on that fandom. without that fandom though, i wouldn't have found my closest friend and idea gremlin, @zooone. thank u to my zone. thank u to my proofreader @egglain who took the time to research my historical inaccuracies and then deal with me even as i proceeded to ignore them. anyways, heed warnings etc etc, this is NOT historically accurate, nor is it very good, but i love it. if the people demand, there will be little drabbles about their lives bcus i am not ready to give up regency!nanami just yet :DDD

「 tags n warnings ᵎᵎ 」 no smut deal with it, lottts of angst, major character death, historical inaccuracy, satoru gojo being a little bitch, satoru gojo matchmaker arc, kento nanami is a little ooc, everyone is a little ooc, nanami somehow became choso and yuji's guardian??? choso uses itadori last name, yuko ozawa mention?!, lots of angst, reader is a bitch if you squint, pining!!, bridgerton/pride and prejudice inspired :D

it’s beautiful this time of year. you’ve always loved the springtime, not only because of the warmer air and the fresh scent of flowers, but because it meant you were traveling up to the ton. 

the ton was one of your favorite places, if not favorite, to ever be. as much as you loved your father’s estate in the countryside– complete with its own stables, riding grounds, and grandoise library– nothing compared to stepping outside the door of the town manor stepping outside the door of the town manor to the bustling carriages and people laughing in the streets. the feeling of the sun shining down on you and casting gorgeous shadows of the leaves was incomparable.

springtime was the social season - when every family who meant something in society flocked from their vast country homes to the smaller, (yet just as grand), manors that lined the streets of london. 

social season also meant that you would see friends and family that you barely saw otherwise. each year, as your carriage pulled up to the manor, you could see the figure of your favorite younger cousin. even from quite a bit away, your excitement was infectious and you could feel it bubbling in your own body. 

this year was no different. as soon as the carriage pulled to a stop, you were bounding out, (nearly tripping on loose pathing), and bombarding your cousin with a tight embrace. 

“oh nobara,” you exclaimed, leaning into your cousin, “it’s been so long. my god, you cut your hair!” your mouth widens in surprise as you bring a hand to twirl the ends of your cousin’s hair. A

“over the winter i have discovered an affection for shorter hair. i saw a girl with it in a town i visited and i decided i must attempt it for myself.” nobara beams, “it looks gorgeous on me, does it not? i am sure to capture attention!” 

there was a glint of anticipation beyond measure in nobara’s eyes. this year, nobara would be making her debut at the first ball of the season, where she and other debuting ladies would announce themselves as open candidates for matrimony. 

the tradition was as follows: each lady, upon turning eighteen years, would make their entrance into society, and find themselves a husband. it would be done so via a series of balls, in which the ladies would dance with men who approached them, and be courted by men for four months before they were offered a hand in marriage. nobara, being from japan and having to find a companion to travel to london with, would be debuting herself a little later - at her current stature of one and twenty.

according to nobara, she had spent the entirety of last year taking notes and writing down tips from older ladies in a small pink journal - all so that she would find a perfect match in her first year. she was entirely too determined, you thought.

most ladies, if not all, find their match in their first season. there were some unlucky ones who took two, and even three. they were generally looked down upon by society, and nobara would be damned if she didn't get her husband her first go-round the ton.

you, on the other hand, were completely comfortable without a husband. you found the whole courting process tedious, and thought it a waste of time to spend hours at tea parties and balls flaunting off to men who simply see you as nothing but a warm bed to come home to at night. unfortunately, this would be your last year of freedom, so to speak. ladies around the ton were beginning to imply, (more like shove in your face), that you needed to be married soon, as it was quote unquote improper for a lady approaching five and twenty to be unmarried. 

you took pride in your family, especially your father, and if he were to somehow lose out on business prospects or be shunned from society simply because you did not fancy any man in london, you would feel most guiltily. he had done nothing but provide for you; how awful it would be to outcast one’s own family for lack of a suitable marriage. 

“cousin?” nobara cocks her head to catch the eldest’s attention, “you are always so far away, even when you are standing right in front of me. please, cousin, enlighten me. what is on your mind that has you so troubled?”

you simply smiled and shook your head. “i am only mentally grieving the loss of my freedom, nobara, and nothing more. you know i am not as eager as you are to be wed, and yet, the general populace are starting to talk. as much as i may protest, i fear that within the next two seasons– nay, one– i must procure myself a match.” you sighed, lacing your arm within your cousin’s as the two ladies entered the manor. 

they enter the drawing room and the scent of fresh flowers wafted in the air, a vase full of fresh lilies on the table by the door. the drawing room had alabaster walls, green accents, and was complete with gorgeous chestnut furniture commissioned by your father from a local carpenter after your mother had mentioned an affinity for the look of chestnut. the tables were recently polished, and sat right in the middle of a small side table were scones and tea.

“oh cousin, you are always so dreary!” nobara sighs, having a seat on the sofa. “pass me a scone, will you? i am starved.” upon your completion of nobara’s request, you sat down at your own small table, where your father had left a newly bound journal for you - complete with a small sprig of baby’s breath tucked in between the pages as a marker. 

although your father was often physically absent due to business travels, he was certainly not emotionally absent. he made sure that his daughter, no matter your age, was properly taken care of and had everything a young lady could possibly ever ask for. 

you didn’t mind his frequent absences though. you enjoyed your own company, and had no problem finding things to busy yourself what with your insatiable curiosity. you’d beguan reading more intensive books at ten, playing the pianoforte at twelve, and sewing at fourteen, though you’d stopped once you began pricking yourself too often. recently, you had picked up drawing, and you wanted to head to the markets sooner rather than later to pick up a brand new journal and some charcoal pencils.

tuning nobara’s drawls about the season out, you spoke. “nobara,” you asked, twirling the baby’s breath around in your fingers, “i am going to take to the markets if you would like to join. you would be agreeable company.”

“sounds wonderful!” nobara beamed, standing up quickly, “i need to pick up some new ribbons anyhow, the first ball is only a mere three nights a ways. i must begin preparations!”

upon hearing your cousin bring up the ball yet again, you could not help yourself as laughter bubbled out of your throat. you shook your head, grabbing a small shawl and wrapping it around your shoulders, before setting out the door to the market, nobara in tow. 

the market was an average place. everywhere you looked were small shops lit by candlelight and newsboys trying to hustle a pound or two by selling the latest society papers.

there were, of course, girls –-- with their corsets tied a little too tight and their legs crossed gracefully as they sat on park benches underneath lacy umbrellas. with girls, came men, who were seeking to start the season early as they paraded downthe side walks with an air of pompous grace, their eyes manically searching for the girl they were to court.  

“humourless morons in my opinion,” you scoffed as you watched a man procure a smushed flower from the back of his pocket and present it to a lady - the same man who, moments earlier, you’d watched do the same to another, only to be rejected. “not an ounce of shame behind their actions. it is honestly a mystery to me how they manage to get away with such behavior. do women not see? or do they choose not to see simply because they are deluded with silly fantasies of marriage?” 

“you need to watch your tongue, cousin,” nobara teased, her eyes also wandering and scouting for a possible match, “for one day, one of these morons will catch your eye.”

“in some other world, yes,” you laughed, shaking your head, “but in this one, i have yet to find one man who possesses the ability to be both aware of himself, and of the world, and i doubt i ever will. london is full of nothing but raffish rakes.”

after mingling amongst the patrons for an hour or two, the girls return home. nobara’s hands are filled with pretty ribbons and hair pins, while your hands are quite empty - save for a journal and a pair of charcoal pencils. 

as soon as you arrive back at the manor, you bid goodnight to your cousin as night has settled its way into your bones. you hadn’t slept in your room at the ton manor in almost a year, and so the minute your skin feels the soft silk of the sheets and the pillow that has been kept well fluffed, sleep weighs your body down. 

the next three days go about the same. you spend ample time in the drawing room with nobara, occasionally making a journey to the park to people-watch and draw while nobara converses.

you’re sitting in the park, your charcoal pencil composing a beautiful illustration of the landscapeand its nature. nobara is sitting next to you, a cross-stitch project in your hands when a girl runs up to them, one you both recognize, and the girl looks quite roused.

“you will never guess who is slated to visit.” the girl, a longtime friend of yours named yuko ozawa, is laughing. “the itadori’s and their guardian, kento nanami! they have not been back to london in ages! and,” her voice drops, as she looks around to see if anyone is listening, “rumor has it - the two eldest, yuuji and choso, are looking for wives. oh! and how could i forget! they are hosting a friend for the season. there are varying reports - some say it is lady ieiri shoko, but most believe it is lord satoru gojo, and my, he is wealthy.” she giggles, “i do not want after the wealth though. i have heard that the youngest itadori, yuuji, i believe, is around my age and is quite handsome.” she smiles, mischief dancing in her eyes, “hopefully, they attend the ball. oh! i must go home and start preparing. i do hope to see you there tonight?”

“we will be in attendance,” nobara confirms with a soft look and somehow, yuko’s smile brightens. 

“magnificent!” she laughs, “i will see you there! best of luck to you nobara, and you,” yuko turns to you, “i will not wish luck for, as i know you will not be courting.”

“i am glad you know me so well, friend.” you smile, and yuko laughs. 

“right, well. i shall see you two later.” yuko bids her farewells, and nobara turns to you, eyes dancing just as brightly as– if not more than– yuko’s.

“did you hear that, cousin?” her voice is filled with titillation and glee, “the itadoris, and their friends too! i am sorry to interrupt your art, but we must go and dress! one of us,” she smiles knowingly at her cousin, “might catch the eldest or,” mischief sparkles in your eye, “lord gojo’s attention.”

“and it will be you, dearest nobara. once they lay eyes upon you, they will be smitten for the rest of their lives.” you shut your book carefully, tucking the charcoal pencil behind your ear as you stand.

nobara does the same, dusting the dirt off of her dress as the two of you grasp arms and walk back home.

as soon as you arrive, nobara is sent into a frenzy. questions like, “should i wear this dress?” or “which pendant matches better?” are echoed down the long halls of the manor, making their way to your ears.

you’ve already picked out a dress, and compared to the dresses other girls will be wearing tonight, it’s rather, well, plain. a pale pink base with barely visible white lace decorating the front, and a white ribbon tied round your waist. your hair is tied into a neat bun, with your neck and face accentuated with a matching pearl necklace and set of earrings. after almost six seasons of watching, you know your ensemble will attract the least attention, and allow you to stay in the shadows as you please. you’re content with your look, and that is all that matters to you. 

nobara, of course, the very meaning of elegance, was dressed beautifully. her jewelry was polished perfectly and light bounced off of it like a mirror, while her dress was a gorgeous deep blue that made her face pop.

the ball was not short of ladies dressed similar to nobara - their faces shining with bright smiles as they fanned themselves lightly. it was the beginning of spring, after all, and the weather was beginning to heat up slightly.  people danced in the middle, soft giggles from girls wafting through the air. it was the first ball of the season - girls needed to make an impression. 

you watched from the sidelines, carefully cradling a small cup of champagne, until suddenly, the entire room went silent. it was odd - never in your life had you’d heard a room so silent, especially one that was just bouncing with life only moments prior. 

you saw the crowd parting for a group of people, and though you couldn't see all of them, you saw one particularly tall male. you craned your neck to get a look at the rest, and their prestige only clicked when they were announced to everyone.

“lord choso kamo,” the steward of the household pointed to a raven-haired boy with a frown, “lord. yuuji itadori, ” a fair-skinned, pink-haired man with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “lord kento nanami,” he was rather stoic and tall with gorgeous blonde hair,  “and lord satoru gojo.” a couple inches taller than kento, he had a prideful sort of look about him - one that caught the attention of every lady in the room.

as soon as the announcement of their arrival finished, the ball was back into full swing, with girls being twirled and spun around, and laughter dancing through the air. the small group of four separated, with the two younger men immediately finding themselves dance partners, and satoru entertaining himself with the women that flocked to him. his blonde friend seems to have his own fair share of admirers, but for some odd reason or another, he is ignoring them. 

it was the eldest of the group though, that tall blonde one, that caught your attention. you cannot decide whether it’s his handsomeness, or if it’s the displeased look on his face, but something about him makes you peel yourself off the wall and out of the shadows.

 for the first time in your life, a man has intrigued you.

people are bumping into you, but you weave yourself right through expertly. right as you reach the two men though, a drunken man pushes you, and you trip over your own feet. fortunately, there’s a pair of strong arms that wrap around your waist, preventing your fall.

“are you alright?” the voice is hiding its laughter, and you look up to find a quirky smile paired with a the most crystal blue eyes. “i must say, you would have taken a rather nasty fall if i were not there to catch you.” he helps you regain your footing, and as soon as you recognize him, you bow.

“lord gojo.” you murmur, downcasting your eyes towards his unnaturally shiny boots. “my apologies, sir.”

“no need for such formalities.” the man laughs as you raise your head back up to meet his eyes. “it was simply a mistake. drunken men, yes?”

“oh, nothing unusual.” you titter, “take a walk around the town at night, and i bet you would be penniless if you had to give me a dollar for every drunken man you saw. it does not take away from the charm though, oh not at all,  especially with the way the pond in the park glitters at night.” your eyes sparkle with a certain fondness that does not simply pass the man behind satoru. kento’s fist clenches at his side, and he takes a breath, his stoic demeanor returning instantly. 

“you speak of the town as if you have grown up here. am i correct in my assumptions, miss?” satoru’s voice is enchanting and it’s obvious his friend is hanging on your every word. his mouth parts slightly as if he were to speak but you begin talking again and he shuts his mouth obediently. 

“you would be partially correct. i spend my warmer seasons here, and the colder ones on my father’s estate not too far from here. i do consider this my home though.” memories of you underneath your father’s arms as you strolled around the town come flooding back to you, and your heart fills with warmth. 

satoru is quiet for a moment. as he goes to speak, a new song begins, and he looks at you sheepishly. kento’s fist clenches at his side. “forgive me if i am too forward, but would you like to dance? i may not be the best but you draw my curiosity.” 

you duck your head with a smile, and bow, “of course, my lord.” 

as the two of you take hands and begin waltzing around the room, you lock eyes with satoru’s companion. he  has his head cocked and is looking at you with a look you cannot place, but that you assume is nothing other than pure curiosity. his hands are crossed against his chest, and he is still blatantly ignoring any women that come to his attention. you decide then that you must ask him for a dance. your curiosity is insatiable.

the dance comes to an end, and with a reddened face, satoru gives you a bow. “i do hope to dance with you at least once more before the night ends, if you are not opposed of course.” his eyes are sparkling and you think to yourself that he is quite handsome.

“i am not opposed, my lord. come find me whenever you see fit.” with that, you bow, give a heart-melting smile, and find your way through the crowd towards the itadoris’ guardian.

he seems shocked–, no, confused–, as to why you’re approaching him. “lord. nanami.” you curtsy. you receive no greeting back– - not even an acknowledgement of your presence. he simply stares down at you with blank, cold eyes, the complete opposite of satoru’s. “i just had the pleasure of dancing with your companion. he is a wonderful dancer, i must say. do you dance, mr. nanami?” 

“no.” 

“oh. i see. is there a particular reason?” your hands have come to play with the pearls on your neck, a nervous tick of yours. it’s becoming awkward to keep standing here while this man blatantly ignores you.

“because i do not.” his voice is stern, and finally, he makes eye contact with you. “i do not dance, and if i did, i would not dance with you.” his words are harsh, and you cannot help the sneer that graces your lips.

“such pleasant words.” you retort with a bite, “it clearly appears you enjoy your solitude, so i will leave you be. good day.” you huff, your pride wounded. kento, on the other hand, takes a step to follow you, but then returns back to his post, watching your figure practically stomp away from him. you berate yourself for even thinking about dancing with him while similarly, he berates himself for his sharp tongue. 

you stand off to the side, fuming, as nobara gracefully steps beside you. “you danced with lord satoru, cousin, so why do you seem so down?”

“his companion,” you shoot a glare at kento, the ice in your eyes fading to confusion as you realize he was already staring at you, “is an impolite arse with no home training. i do not care how much wealth he boasts for it means nothing if he is rude to every person he comes across. for heaven’s sake, nobara, he didn’t even look at me for half of our short-lived conversation!” you are vexed, and as kento watches you recount the tale to your cousin from across the room, he cannot help but feel slightly remorseful for his actions. 

the guilt rises to his throat and nearly chokes him to death once he sees your rant interrupted by none otherthan satoru gojo. he feels ill, he thinks, as he watches your scowl lift into a smile at the sight of his friend, and his friend’s equally bright smile as he takes your hand and youproceed to the dancefloor. 

kento turns away, clenching his fist at his sides, and instead decides to take a walk around the grounds and sulk in the byproduct of his social ineptitude.

“miss,” satoru asks you as the dance ends, “i was wondering if you would be home tomorrow, so i may call on you. our dances this evening were wonderful, and i would be most grateful to get to know you more. of course, it is your decision. if you do not want to see me, i shall oblige.” he gives you a smile, and suddenly, the idea of marriage does not sound too horrible to you. not if it is him, at least. 

“do not sell yourself short! i would be nothing but honored to receive you at my home.” your features soften. “it would be my pleasure, truly.”

“magnificent!” satoru laughs, his chest bursting at the prospect of getting to know you more. “i shall see you tomorrow, then?” 

“tomorrow, my lord.” you bow, and he shakes his head.

“please, miss, the formalities are not necessary.” he reminds you as you both approach nobara, where you are waiting by the carriage. “miss.” he gives nobara a bow, which you return, and then he stands regally again in front of you. “it was a pleasure getting to know you today. i look forwards to our visit.”

his excitement was unmatched. the next morning, as soon as the clock hit a decent visiting hour, his presence was announced at your manor. 

he looked nervous, almost, but his look of anxiety was quickly swept away by a bright smile. “miss.” he bowed, “i am here, as promised. thank you again for having me. it was wonderful to meet you last night.” nobara gave a small knowing look to her cousin, and then promptly escorted herself out of the room.

nobara would only be gone from the room for a mere few hours– - as satoru had said, he had business to attend to. he did not leave without extending a dinner invitation for that evening, inviting them both to the itadori’s’ manor.

you accepted with a bright smile and a curtsy, but the minute you heard his carriage begin its venture down the road, you groaned loudly.

“i cannot– - he is– - i cannot.” you tried to gather your words, but couldn’t. “i do not think i will be able to sit at a dinner with kento nanami and not watch my tongue. he is … there are no words to describe him. oh, this is going to go horribly. absolutely terribly, nobara.”

“tell me, why do you care if it goes horribly?” nobara asks, not looking up from her cross-stitching. “i thought you were not looking to marry this season.” there’s a teasing lilt behind the words, and it makes you roll your eyes in displeasure.

“you are so attentive, nobara.” you sigh, fiddling with a pillow on the couch. “i … i am not enthused by the idea… but i am not completely… opposed to it.” you know you’re lying to yourself and your cousin– - you’ve always been severely opposed to marriage, but there was something so captivating and appealing about lord gojo that made you even the slightest bit open to the idea. 

“falsehoods.” nobara scoffs. “you have said since we were little that you hate marriage! just admit it,” nobara simpers, “you have grown affections for satoru! and after only one dance, my god! if i had known it was that easy, i would have set you up to dance ages ago!” 

“i have not,.” you huff, giving nobara a pointed look. “who is to say that i am not just utilizing the man and his wealth for a nice dinner? i am positive the food tonight will be like nothing either of us have ever had, and a singular dinner will not guarantee his affections for me. i am sure he will not offer his hand in marriage immediately.” 

“you speak so lowly of men, my dear cousin. they are but fragile and sensitive creatures, and they fall hard.” nobara tuts, finally putting down her cross stitch to look at you. “you are playing a dangerous game and i do hope you will know when to end it.” she sighs, “i only wish for your happiness, but not at the expense of others, and especially not one as sweet as lord gojo. please do keep that in mind.” with that, nobara leaves. 

as the clock ticks on, and time moves closer and closer to the hour when you are supposed to arrive, your anxieties grow. nobara was right - you are walking a thin line, and could hurt a good man in the process, but your heart just isn't in it the way you think it's supposed to be.

you watch the townsfolk through the carriage window as you think. people have always described love to be this beautiful thing. your own father would tell stories about how he felt like he could not breathe when he was around your mother. you were only so averse to love because of the way your father described it– - overwhelming and smothering. your father would say that he felt like he was being strangulated every time he was apart from your mother, and the thought of that just was not appealing to you. you wanted to be your own person, not bound to a singular person for a source of air, and especially not bound to a pompous, arrogant man.

the books, though…, they described love as some fragile glass knickknack that needed to be cradled gently or else it would crack. 

you did not want love if it was similar to asphyxiation and you did not want love if it was delicate and dainty. you wanted a love that you did not have to stifle yourself for, and you were positive you would never find it. everyone fell hard and fast– - but you thought love at first sight was ridiculous. how were you supposed to decide based on one look– - one dance–, that this was your life partner?

nobara, of course, knew all of this. she was not lying when she said she wanted the best for her cousin and whether or not that was marriage was up to you. nobara could sense the yearning though. she could see the lingering glances at happier couples and the hesitance behind every step you took away from men who approached you. she has taken peeks at the novels her cousin picks up from the market– - all romance novels. she knew her cousin wanted nothing more than to love and to be in love, but she also knew her cousin was a stubborn woman and would not settle for anything less than exactly what she wanted.

you spoke of an ache in your chest to nobara often. you both attributed it to the loss of your mother, but the stars knew better. the hole in your heart was an ache for love– - pure, genuine love–, and whether or not you liked it, the stars would deliver it to you in the form of one kento nanami. 

your attention focused from your wandering thoughts to three figures standing by the entrance to the itadori manor. lord gojo, with a smile so bright it rivaled the sun, and the two itadori’s at each side.

“you made it!” satoru is at the carriage door immediately, helping nobara out gently, and then you. “you look wonderful, i am so happy you are here. it is not my home, of course my home is a day's journey away, but the itadori’s are lovely hosts!” he smiles, his enthusiasm palpable and his love for the itadori’s clear. 

it's endearing to you, and you find a small smile creeping itsit's way up your face. “the manor looks lovely so far, my l-satoru.” you stop yourself, remembering the man’s wishes from the night before.

“i am unsure if you were properly introduced to the itadoris.” he leads you gently to the boys, who are making conversation with nobara, “this is yuuji,” he points to the boy with pink hair, “and this is choso.”

yuuji shakes his head, and then glances at his hand. “i hope… i hope you enjoy your day at our manor.” he smiles brightly, putting his hand down quickly. in a flash, you could see words were written on his hand and you suppress a giggle.

“our guardian, kento,” the thought of that man makes your chest tighten with upset, “is in the study. he says that he hopes you and your cousin enjoy the grounds and he will try his best to be present at dinner.” choso’s voice is bland.

“but if you ask me, he will not be there. he never is.” yuuji huffs, turning his back to the group. “i will be in the parlor with the piano, if you will excuse me.” 

“excuse him,” satoru laughs awkwardly, “the boy has got a bit of a temper.” 

just like his guardian, you think.

“would you like a tour?” choso asks softly, saddling up to your side. “i do not mind showing you around, i actually quite like this manor compared to our other one. it has more life in it.”

“i feel the same way about my manor.” you give him a soft smile, “i would love a tour, choso. satoru, choso is going to give me a tour around the grounds if you do not mind.”

“no, of course not!” satoru grins, “i had some work to finish before dinner any way, i was hoping the boys would entertain the two of you. i am sorry, i invited you over too early,.” he gives you a bow, “but i swear to you i will be right by your side at dinner. you have my word.”

“i trust you.” your eyes soften and you feel a sense of warmth wash over you at his promises. there has never been a man so thoughtful towards you, and yet, nobara’s words ring in your head.

you walk through the halls with choso as he shows off his art collections that hang on the wall. the boy has an affinity for art, you find out. at some point, they come across yuuji playing the piano rather beautifully in the parlor, and nobara disbands from the tour to go listen to yuuji playing. eventually, you find yourself at the library with choso. it is a tall room in the middle of the manor, with books lining every corner of the room. some old, some new, and others clearly loved. at one end, a window covers the entire wall, looking out onto the gardens. 

“kento's collection.” choso says with a smile, “he has been collecting since …” he trails off, “since he was a boy.”

“it’s beautiful.” you murmur. it’s true. in the spaces where there are not books, there are beautiful paintings, depicting nature at its finest. landscapes with flowers, oceans with boats floating atop them, and in the middle, the centerpiece, a garden filled with an assortment of gorgeous flowers. 

your eyes wander around the room. his collection rivals your own back at the estate, and you’re surprised that someone would have more books than your father. 

“this must have cost a fortune.” your hands run across some of the books nearest to the door. these are the ones that look as though they were brought recently, and you notice a copy of a book you own on the shelf. 

“kento has a way with words,” choso chuckles, “half of these, actually–, most likely more–, were bartered or traded.” 

you hum. “i will agree. though, not positively.” you smiles, “your guardian shared some… choice words towards me regarding a dance last night.”

“did he say something of offense?” choso frowns, “my apologies. my guardian is, well, not the best, i shall say, at using his words properly, despite his affinity for writing. i am sure he did not mean it.”

you don’t want to hurt this poor boy’s opinion of his guardian, and so you keep your mouth shut. “i will take your word for it, choso.” you pull out a book, caressing the pages carefully in your hands. the smell of old book hit your nose and you felt as though you were back at home in your father’s library.

“if you would like, i can leave you here until dinner. i am sure kento will not mind. he never really comes out from the study any way, so you will be completely undisturbed.”

twice now, the boys have mentioned kento's frequent absence. 

you ponder it for a moment, before smiling and nodding. “that would be wonderful. thank you for your hospitality, choso.”

“it is my pleasure, miss.” he gives you a bow, and shuts the door softly, leaving you to explore the room on your own.

you immediately head towards the couch situated by the window. there are books stacked upon the floor and on a nearby table, and you step around them carefully so as to not disturb them.

a book at the top of a stack by the couch peaks your attention. it's worn and has obvious signs of wear, but that only warms your heart as it means the book has been loved. you grab it, immediately becoming immersed.

you don’t notice when the door opens, and watching you curiously from the doorway is kento himself. 

leaning against the doorframe, he clears his throat. “and may i ask what you are doing in my personal library?” he looks a lot more relaxed than he did at the ball last night and you cannot tell if it is his attire or the fact that he is simply in his own home. he's dressed casually, with his sleeves rolled up and his shirt untucked. his hair is slightly messy, and he's got a pair of round glasses on. despite your dislike for the man, you think he looks quite handsome.

“oh, mr. nanami.” you close the book carefully, setting it to the side, “my apologies. i did not mean to intrude. lord gojo invited my cousin and i over for dinner but he had some work. choso showed me around the manor and told me i could stay if i wanted. if you would like me to go though, i will.” you stand, smoothing out your dress, but he shakes his head.

“no, it is quite alright. you may stay.” he leans off the wall and shuts the door carefully behind him. “it was simply unexpected. that's all. i am not used to having visitors who are interested in my library.” as he approaches you, he notices the book in your hands. “you have a fondness for poetry?” 

“i do.” you smile, “i do not write myself– - no i could not use such eloquent words–, but i cannot help but enjoy them.” 

“one of my favorites too.” he murmurs, bending down to grab the book you were reading off of the couch. 

“i could tell. it is well-loved. you ought to buy yourself a new copy, mr. nanami.” you laugh lightly, “the words are fading.”

“do not tell me what to do with my own possessions. you have no right.” his head snaps up, “i have changed my mind. take your leave.” his voice is rigid and there’s a palpable anger behind his words.

“i- my apologies, mr, i-”

“out. i am not asking.” he orders, pointing a finger towards the door. 

“i am sorry.” you mutter once more, before practically flying out of the room. the door shuts with a thud and he closes his eyes, biting his lip as hard as he can. he thinks he tastes blood. 

he sinks onto the couch with the poetry book gripped tight in his left hand. with a small sigh, he turns the book to the side, running his finger along the barely visible “‘y.h.”’ engraved on the spine. it was so small and so worn out that one wouldn't notice it unless they knew it was there. he blinks away the tears and swallows down a lifetime’s worth of regret, opening the book as his fingers trail along the first stanzas of the first poem. he isn't reading– - he knows this book better than he knows himself– - this book is an extension of himself. he couldn’t ever bring himself to replace it for it would be as if he were replacing his own flesh and blood.

kento is late to dinner but the evident shock at his arrival on both yuuji, choso’s and satoru’s face tells you enough. he spares no one a glance, not even his own wards, and seems ticked off that the conversation at the table dwindled. 

you catch the side glances that yuuji and choso throw at each other, and you turn your body towards nobara, who is seated right beside you.

“he looks miserable.” you remark quietly, shoving the peas on your plate to the side. you were not a fan of peas, nor kento, but you would have to tolerate both it seemed.

“he always looks like that.” nobara replies back smoothly, “in the past four- and- twenty hours we have known him, i do not think i have ever seen a different expression on his face.” you let out a little giggle, turning your attention back to the conversation that was at hand. currently, yuuji was enthralling kento with a story of this young woman he had danced with last night.

“she  was absolutely stunning.” he sighs, “and yet, i am afraid i do not know how to capture her affections.” “what is her name?” kento takes a sip of his wine, cocking his head. “i would like to put a name to the woman you have not quit babbling about.” “yuko.” even saying the name causes the boy’s face to erupt in a smile, and you cock your head. “yuko?” you hum, “i have a friend named yuko about your age. say, i think your beloved yuko might also be mine.” “really?” his eyes sparkle, “you are friends with my dear yuko?” he gives you a quick description of the girl, and upon confirmation that they indeed share the same yuko, he leans in to the table. “do you know what she likes? what can i do to gain her admiration? what do you recommend to gain one’s affections?” 

“dancing.” your eyes flit quickly to kento who lets out an unamused snort. you were not going to remark, but his reaction irked you. “even if one’s partner is a discourteous soul.” 

“and what if one’s partner is just barely tolerable?” kento places his fork down, giving you a nasty look.

“well then,” you clears your throat, “everyone has their own interpretation of ‘barely tolerable’ and mine is sitting in front of me.”

satoru clears his throat, the tension between the two of them becoming suffocating. “well,” he smiles, “maybe you should call upon yuko tomorrow. invite her to dinner. and you, of course,” he turns to you, “are welcome to come tomorrow as well, since you are acquainted with yuko. oh, and your cousin as well!” 

“i appreciate the invite, my lord,” you wipe off your face with a small napkin that was provided, “but it seems as if i am an unwanted guest. i would absolutely hate to intrude on the itadori’s’ home for yet another anotyour day, especially considering the animosity i have been shown by their guardian.” you smile sweetly towards kento, who feels his chest constrict. “i would be delighted to have dinner again with you though, and so i am instead offering to return the favor and host you, yuko, yuuji and choso at my home tomorrow.”

the fact that you purposefully left him out causes kento to slam his fork down in anger. the plate rattled, and he nearly tips over his wine glass. “you are in my home, and i will not stand for your intolerance. i do not care if you are a guest under satoru–- you will respect me.” his voice is low and he is looking at you with a look his wards haven't seen since they were entrusted into his care.

you scoff, “i refuse to show respect to someone who has treated me with such contempt. i have been nothing but courteous to you, and yet you still find it in yourself to be ill-mannered. bless satoru’s soul because quite honestly, i am shocked you even have friends.”

“you are undermining me in my own home, and i do not appreciate it.” he hisses, “you become upset at my rejection, intrude upon my own personal library, and then proceed to invite every person i hold dear to me and exclude me.”

“i undermine you?” you laugh dryly, your eyes squinting at him, “you are delusional. you are the one who sits here and belittles everything i say, even if not directed towards you. though,” you stand, smoothing down your dress, “i suppose it is to make up for your lack of charm. lord gojo,” you bow, “i really do appreciate your hospitality. the same goes for you two,” you gives a soft smile to the boys, “but unfortunately, i am incredibly uncomfortable. nobara and i will be leaving now. thank you though, and my offer for tomorrow still stands.” nobara scrambles to bow to them, and you both leave. you waste not another glance at kento, your chest full and clenched with anger.

“i have plenty of charm, i just do not wish to waste it on a woman as average as you.” he shouts after you. as your footsteps recede, he shoves his own chair into the table, causing it to shake, and he retreats to his office, his fists clenched at his side.

the manor door closes noisily, and in the aftermath of their altercation everyone remaining at the table heard the slam of his study door and the simultaneous rumbling of your carriage pulling away out of the roadway. 

“i have lost my appetite.” yuuji mumbles, “please excuse me.” yuuji quietly tucks in his chair and leaves the room.

“as have i.” choso follows, leaving satoru alone in the dining room by himself. 

there’s a silence that follows, one that satoru does not like. satoru does not like silence much to begin with, but this one is heavier. this one was a direct cause of his actions. he leaves the dinner table, choosing instead to retire to his room for the night. in all his years of friendship, he has never seen kento so upset with a person, and he would hate to continue distressing his friend, especially considering the hardships the man is facing. on the other hand, there was a look in kento’s eyes that he could not place. it wasn’t hatred or disdain, and it bewildered the hell out of satoru. he saw the same look in your eyes too.

last night at the ball, you weren’t walking over to talk to him. no, of course you weren’t. his friend was spacing out and staring off into the distance, and when he followed his eyes, they were fixated on you. you were looking back at him with the same intensity, and then, both of their attentions were grabbed and pulled away. satoru noticed, how despite the many beautiful girls approaching kento, that his eyes kept wandering to that shadow, silently pleading for it’s attention. twenty minutes later, it was gone from the wall, and another two after that, satoru caught you from falling.

satoru had known from the very start that you were not into him and that your affections lay with kento. everything he had done was calculated from the minute he had asked you to dance. positioning you in kento’s line of sight so you could see each other while you danced, asking you to come over for dinner, and even choso’s manor tour. he’d specifically instructed choso to take you to the library and leave you there, as he knew midday was when kento decided to leave his office and head there. 

he had everything planned out perfectly. what he hadn’t counted on though, was kento’s pure stupidity. 

upon being seated in his office chair, kento picked up a quill, shuffling through the stacks of paper as he searched for a blank one. there, he scrawled a journal entry. his friend, haibara, had suggested a journal back when kento was a teen, though he’d had filled the pages of the journal haibara gifted him long ago. 

his journal was normal teen angsts that he entered in frequently,  but nowadays, his entries were far and few between, scribbled upon waste paper scrambled on his messy desk and then shoved into the bottom drawer, never to be read again. 

his quill moved faster than the words could process in his brain. kento had not felt any emotion in a long time, and now this girl–, you–, had brought upon more than he knew how to deal with. his eyes droopy and tired, kento abandoned the page as he stumbled his way up to the bed, disregarding his formal wear and simply passing out on his bed. 

surprise is kento’s first thought of the day -  most nights are spent pouring over documents and estate affairs in his office. most nights are spent half-slumped into his office chair until he hears yuuji and megumi chasing each other around the halls. but tonight, he'd woken up in his own bed, so he decides to savor it, before he must get up and bear the responsibility of his world on his shoulders. 

it’s then, when kento is enjoying the feel of his downy mattress and not of his hard wooden chair, that it gets sent. satoru  hadn’t planned to find his note, truly. he had gone into the office to wake kento up as he had done every morning he stayed with the itadori’s’ and when he opened the door, there was no kento. 

he was gone. and so satoru walked over to the desk, his eyes squinting at a note written on yellowing and half-ripped paper. it was in kento’s messy chicken-scratch, and after a quick read, satoru shoved it in his pocket anyways and exited the room, sealing it with the itadori family crest and sending it off with the rest of the post for the morning.

you receive the letter mid-day during your afternoon tea with nobara. the two of you hadn’t spoken about the quarrel between your and kento, and you were grateful for it. nobara instead spoke about her suitors, providing you a nice distraction from the anger, and slight regret, that bubbled in your chest.

“a letter for the miss.” your butler states, entering the room. it’s placed on the table next to you, and you pick it up gingerly, frowning at the state of it.

“if it could even be called that.” you mumble, “the paper is eons old.” you recognize the crest immediately, as it had been adorned around the manor you had spent time at yesterday. an ugly feeling claws its way up your throat.

“what is it?” nobara peers curiously, but you hold it away, hoping that satoru had just used their stationary and that it was not a letter from kento.“hey!” “give me a moment, i am reading, nobara.” you hiss out as you run your fingers along, squinting to read the handwriting. 

it has been ages since i have written, and unfortunately, as all others, .i am writing in a state of great frustration and  vexation. her recent behavior has been most unbecoming, and i cannot help but feel incensed by her actions. how could she be so rash... so .. thoughtless in her choice of words? i suppose she has every reason to, though. i have not been the kindest man. then again, when have i ever? 

and yet, despite this soul-encompassing anger, there is a sense of admiration. i cannot tell if it is admiration for her sheer audacity, or admiration for the lady herself. her fiery spirit and unyielding determination are truly remarkable, and i cannot help but be drawn to such a force of nature, as much as i would like to deny it. 

perhaps it is my own stubbornness that blinds me to the true nature of my feelings, but it is becoming harder and harder for me to fight the notion that there is an underlying sense of attraction that persists. there is just some thing about the way that she carries herself. despite almost every interaction we have had being negative, i have left each one with a tightening feeling in my chest. 

i believe it is regret. it’s a feeling i am used to these days. the other night i could not sleep, how could i? i’ve treated her with such disdain that if my mother were still alive im sure she'd scold me. 

yet i cannot stop thinking of moments ago. it was the way she simply just disrespected me in my own home, without a care in the world, and looked so utterly ethereal doing it. her beauty makes me stupid and loose with my tongue.

she insulted me and she did it with grace and a bewitching voice. there is just something about that girl that i cannot forget and i -

it cuts off there, the quill mark running off the page indicating that his hand had slipped. without another word, you fold the letter, holding it neatly in your hand as you walk out of the manor, ignoring nobara’s calls. 

the itadori manor was across town, about thirty minutes walking. you had left without a coat and it was cold, but you pursued on, the hand holding the paper trembling. you needed an answer.

you made the walk in twenty and your knuckles rapped upon the door loudly. a butler opened and after a quick explanation of your business, you made your way to kento’s office. you slammed open the door and surprisingly, based on the way the boys speak of him, he was not in his office.

you were going to talk to him one way or another, and you wandered your way around the manor, angrily stomping. it was only when you’d made your way back to his office that you bumped into him. he had clearly just woken up and had haphazardly dressed himself. his hair was messy and he looked sleepy, but you did not care that you were probably going to bother.

“what is your issue?” you hiss, stepping towards him. “have i done something to offend you? am i just that awful of a person that you deem it necessary to toy with me?” “what- what are you talking about?” he sighs, running a hand through his messy hair, “and why is my office door open? was this you?” you ignore the question, instead unfolding the paper from it’s crumpled home in your pocket. “perhaps it is my own stubbornness that blinds me to the true nature of my feelings, but it is becoming harder and harder for me to fight the notion that there is an underlying sense of attraction that persists.” you read, your voice wavering not once despite the shaking of your limbs and your heart.

his own heart stops. it stops beating completely and kento is pretty sure that this is what death feels like. “how did you get that?” his lip wavers, despite the rigid tone that escapes his mouth. “where did you get that from?”

“oh so now you are playing games with me?” you scoff, throwing your hands in the air, “seriously! you are a joke, kento nanami.” “is that why my office was open?” his eyes squint, and he looks terrified for a moment at his next thought. “did you go through my things?” “of course not! you sent this to me, did you not? stamped with the itadori seal, am i wrong?” you shove it in his face and you’re right, of course. the letter is stamped. “i am just wondering. why? why me? why did you choose to amuse yourself by picking on me? there are so many other women who would die for any attention given by someone of your stature, and yet you choose to belittle me!”

“it was not my intention, you have to believe me.” he sighed, adjusting the glasses that sit low on his nose, “i might as well be honest.” he clenches a hand by his side before taking a breath. “the first good thing you have done ever.” you scoff, and he bites his lip. he decides looking anywhere but your face would be a better choice at this time, so he settles his eyes on your collarbone.

“i was a fool. i will admit my faults, and there are many–- too many to name. believe me when i say this, i have never been more enchanted to meet a person in all my miserable years. i blundered, my jealousy overcoming me at the sight of you dancing with satoru and i continued to make a laughing stock of myself with each interaction. please, this is no scheme or ploy as you may think, i am genuinely and utterly enamored with you. there is no reason i should have treated you the way i did, but you make me absolutely stupid.” his chest is heaving, and you can see his hands shaking by his side. “please, i know this is sudden, but i would like to court you–-”

“you are a madman.” you whisper, cutting him off. “you are stupider than i thought you were if you think that for one second i am going to believe any display of affection from you, no matter how wordy. you have done nothing but make me feel as though i am nothing to you, and for that, you are the last man on earth i would ever marry. you are arrogant, disrespectful, and most of all, you have no empathy for the feelings of others. i would rather bring shame upon my family before i accept any proposal from you.” 

it’s silent between the two of you. he’s finally made eye contact - and you’re breathing just as heavily as he is. your lips are parted, and so are his, and he is fighting the urge to lean in right then and there.

the moment is ruined when you crumple the note in your hand and place it on his chest. he comes up to grab your hand, holding it close to his chest as he grabs the paper. his hands are warm, and they fit perfectly around yours. you both realize it. 

part of him hopes that you will take back your words, but it is far too late for that. it was too late for him the minute you asked him about dancing. 

“have a good life, lord nanami.” you say nothing else, dropping your hand and turning on your heels away from him. 

he takes a step. kento wonders if you would take him if he chased after you and begged you on his hands and knees. 

it’s silent after that. his ears are ringing and his chest is hot and burning in the spot where your hand just rested. he feels his heart sink to his stomach, a feeling he hasn’t felt in years. it’s not disappointment and it’s not regret - it’s a yearning and a longing for something he won’t ever have. 

he needs to talk to his friend. it’s not a want, but a need. his friend would know what to do. he always did. within fourty minutes of your departure, the boys, satoru, and kento have packed up, abandoning the manor as quickly as they came.

the boys were quite prepared as they knew their guardian so well. it was not the first nor the last time that their guardian would relocate them in hopes of escaping whatever it is he seems to be running from. they had not even unpacked their bags, simply shoving the necessities back in and looking solemnly as kento took his own horse, not even riding with them. 

kento arrives far earlier than the carriages do and without another word, he hands off the horse to a housemaid and stalks off. he does not care that he has not eaten today or that it looks like it is going to rain; he needs to talk his friend. 

when kento was thirteen, he and his friend explored the woods behind their house together in an attempt to soothe kento's fear of the woods. for as long as he could remember, kento always had a fear of the unknown, and the sprawling landscape behind their house certainly did not help.

kento entered the woods hand in hand with haibara. haibara was explaining the different trees and flowers they saw, right until they stumbled across a small clearing, barely big enough for an outdoor lunch. it was right off the beaten path and was only a five minute walk from the forest entrance. 

he remembers being excited that this was the only spot not covered with grass - as there was only a small little circle sprawling with magnolia flowers. his friend said that it was beautiful that in the woods kento had found so scary there was a small, serene place with beautiful flowers. 

“if you had not come in here with me, neither of us would have stumbled upon this.” haibara had smiled up at him that day, “see, kento? there is beauty in this forest you fear.”

kento laughed and called it cliche and predictable, but now as he sits in front of haibara's grave in the middle of these magnolia flowers, he knows his friend lied. there has been no beauty in anything since his friend died, and everything to him has been unknown. kento’s been living in fear. 

upon entering the tiny field, there was one stone carving in the middle. kento sits right next to it, pulls his knees to his chest, and despite the neck pain that ached, he placed his head on the stone.

“hello, my friend.” kento begins, “i am sorry i was gone for so long. we went up into the town for the spring season. it was all satoru’s idea of course, you know him, and the boys were excited– - so i had to. i have done nothing but disappoint them and i hoped i would regain their favor by bringing them to the ton.” he sighs, his breath shaking. “i met a girl there. she is intelligent and gorgeous and kind. i know, i know, i always told you i would never marry and i would travel the world alone and explore. since you- since you left, i have had to reconsider. the itadori’s’ were placed in my care and .. and so- so, i thought it would be a good idea to socialize and get myself out there. i will need a wife eventually.” his voice cracks, and kento removes his head from the stone placing it in his knees as he cries. “the first time i met her, she was standing on the wall and she looked so, so beautiful, but of course-” he lets out a hiccuping sob, “she was not interested in me. who would be?” he laughs dryly, “i was… upset, and i said somethingsome thing that i did not mean and my pride would not allow me to apologize. the next time i saw her, she had your book in your hands. your favorite. sometimes i wonder why we did not bury you with it. i saw her and i got upset and i insulted her and at dinner i did it again. then, i confessed to her and she rejected me, and god, it is the worst emotion i have felt since you died. i feel sick and it hurts and i just,” he whimpers, “i just wish you were here still, haibara.” 

there is silence. of course there is. he is talking to a stone.

“i really, really messed it up, and i wish i could take it all back because she is absolutely wonderful.” he sighs, “of course, it is much too late for that.” still, silence. “i must get going, there is much to do.” he stands up and sighs, wiping the tears from his eyes quickly. “i will come to visit you again soon.”

true to his word, kento visits his friend everyday for the next week. some days he talks to him and tells him how choso and yuuji are doing, others he sits there and cries, and few times he has brought paper out to write.

there are hundreds of speeches he has written out and almost sent to you, expressing himself, and all of them have ended up crumpled and thrown into the trash. you asked him to leave you alone, and as much as it is killing him, he would rather die lonely than face any sort of argument with you again.

he decides he needs a weekend away, so after packing his bags and leaving the boys in the care of satoru, he sets off to a small cabin his father owned in the woods not too far from the estate. far enough that he'll be left alone, but close enough that if needed, he can return within a day.

yuuji, yearning for yuko, sends a letter the week before kento leaves. it asks her to come over, and yuko would have agreed almost immediately if not for the fact that she needs a chaperone.

you refuse immediately. “no, yuko, my answer is final. i refuse to visit the itadori’s’. please, forgive me.”

“please, friend.” she pleads, “no one else is available and yuu said that kento would be going on vacation! you would not even have to deal with him, please.”

“you are sure kento will not be there?” you raise a brow, the idea becoming a bit sweeter now that kento is not there.

“i swear. look.” she holds out yuuji’s letter, pointing out where he mentions kento’s absence. 

yuko’s eyes brim with hope as you reconsider. “fine. i will go with you, but just for the weekend.”

you arrive friday evening, when the sun has set and dinner has been served. kento had just left that morning according to the boys, so you will be free of him and his incessant behavior.

some small part of you ached though, for their constant bickering. the look in his eyes when he'd told you he loved you has haunted you, and caused many sleepless nights.

 you’re beginning to wonder if you had made the wrong decision. 

he was wealthy, sure, but one could tell he cared for his wards. he was intelligent and he had an affinity for the arts, and was well-spoken. but does any of that really outweigh his behavior? you wonder.

it was as if your thinking about kento summoned him. 

“oh. hello.” his voice sounds strained and you turns around to find kento standing there, his fists clenched at his side. “i was unaware you would be here.”

“i did not mean to intrude. yuuji and choso told me that you were gone for the weekend. i will make haste and leave as soon as i can.” you stand up, dusting off your dress. “my apologies, mr. nanami.”

“kento.” he clears his throat, “please. just call me kento. you do not have to leave, either. i was going for a walk around the grounds before i retreat to my office. i will be out of your way, as per your wish.” he takes a small bow, refusing to meet your eyes. “it's.. pleasure … it's a pleasure to see you again.” he stutters, and then turns away quickly.

“mr. nana–- kento.” you reach out to tap his shoulder, and the jolt through his body does not go unnoticed by you., “may i walk with you?”

he looks nervous, and his eyes flit around. “of course. i was going to.. visit my friend. i am,” he gulps, taking a deep breath, “i am sure he would love to meet you.”

“oh.” you smile softly, “i have not seen him around, though, i have only been here for a day.”

“i have told him much about you.” his voice is soft, as the two of you begin your walk. you are so close in proximity that your hands keep brushing together, and everytime they do, you watch his breathing seize.

you think you have killed him when you grab his hand and he stumbles over his own footing. “we should– - you should not be holding my hand, you are.. you are eligible and i- i am not courting you and–-”

“do you want me to stop?” you ask softly. in response, his hand squeezes yours softly as if to say, ‘please don't let go.’

you walk in a comfortable silence for another couple of minutes, hand in hand, before reaching the small magnolia field. 

“here we are.” he clears his throat, letting go of your hand. “my. .. my friend. i know, it is embarrassing that i speak to a gravestone, but. .. i have no one else to confide in.” he looks for any worry or fear in your face, and he finds nothing. nothing but compassion and kindness.

“i do not think it is silly.” you smile softly, “i think it is perfectly alright. that is your friend, after all.” you crouches down next to the stone, brushing your fingers over his name. “haibara. it is very nice to meet you, mr. haibara. there is no doubt in my mind that you were an excellent man.”

“you are going to dirty your dress.” kento frowns, “you do not have to sit.” his heart is pounding a million miles a minute, and he thinks it could not be any louder. he is sure you can hear it. 

“nonsense.” you smile, waving him off. “it would be rude of me to stand and speak to him.” 

watching your speak to his closest friend’s gravestone with such compassion makes him tear up. he knew that he loved you for a reason, and the fact that you started speaking to haibara with no questions asked simply hammered it home for him.

“i am only here for a day or two more,” kento is thrown out of his thoughts by your voice, “but i must say this estate is lovely. i do not even think my home rivals this.” you laugh, and the sound flutters in his stomach, “it is gorgeous.”

there is silence for a moment as you looks up at kento. he's standing over you with his fists clenched and in near tears and you just shake your head. “you should be very proud of kento.” you says loud enough for him to hear, as you make eye contact with him, “he is doing a wonderful job raising yuuji and choso. you have a wonderful friend.”

kento turns his back from you, but you can see the shaking of his shoulders and hear him clear his throat.. “my apologies, please, excuse me.” he sniffles, “i am a little overwhelmed.”

it hits you now. kento has every reason to be as cynical and as rude as he is– - life has not been goodwell to him. he has grown up without a mother, and halfway through his life his father passed, and then his closest friend. add to that two wards that were thrown on top of his responsibilities and you have one struggling kento nanami.

“he is a wonderful man.” you project your voice so you can still hear him, “and i have been entirely nonsensical about him.” 

“pardon?” his voice cracks, making him cringe, but you still looks at him with that same soft expression. he is glad you cannot see his face right now, for all you would see is his despair. 

“i was wrong about you.” you stand, placing a hand on his shoulder. his back is still turned to you, and you respect his space, staying out of sight. “i was entirely wrong.” 

he closes his eyes and prays– - prays that this means what he thinks it does. “three words from you will silence me forever.” he whispers brokenly, “if you are not going to say it and mean it, please, just say it once so that i may replay it in my head for when you are gone.”

“i cannot.” his shoulders fall and his stomach sinks. you slides your hand down his arm to reach his hand, and  you squeeze. “i refuse to be the first time i declare my affections for you to be said to your back.”

he whips around almost immediately, and standing on your tiptoes, you cups his face with both of your hands. your thumbs wipe the tears from underneath his eyes.

“hello, handsome.” you smile and his head leans into your hand as he laughs with a little sniffle. “your smile suits you. i wish i could see it more often.”

he tries to duck his face away where you cannot see but you keeps it sturdy in your hands. “do not shy away from me, i want to see your face. there you are.” you smiles., “i apologize for my misunderstanding of your character. i said some harsh things that i am realizing now that i did not mean, and i am hoping you could forgive me. i am pleading.”

“you do not have to apologize. ever. it is my fault for being immature. my answer remains the same as it did a few weeks ago– - if you will have me, then i will be yours. no-now, and forever.” he rushes his words and you let go of his face with a nod and he blinks at you, his face swelling with joy. 

“it is a deal, then.” you laughs, “forever is quite a long time though, kento. 

“it will not be nearly enough time for me to spend with you. there will never be enough time.” he lifts your chin up to look at you. “god, you were plucked out of my dreams and put into my arms. i am the luckiest man on earth.”

you swat his arm gently., “you are magnificent with your words when they are not shooting to kill,.” you say lightly. your cheeks are beginning to hurt from smiling, but you do not care.

“my words will be soft and sweet for you, always,.” he tucks a piece of hair behind your ears, “from this point on.”

“i was just about to mention how they have not been in the past.”

“and for that, i will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” he kisses your hand, and keeps eye contact the entire time. “every minute of every day. i love you.” 

there it was.

“i love you,” he kisses your knuckles, “i love you,” he kisses your palm, “i love you,” up your arm, “i love you,” on your left cheek, “i love you,” right cheek, “i love you,” nose, “i love you.”

and finally, his hands coming up to cradle your head, he presses a promising kiss to your lips.  “i love you. forever.” 

[beenbaanbuun]

Not sure if this is a request or me just going insane after reading your dumbification yeo fic but oop-

Been thinking about jealous Yeosang nonstop since then because I always get a little disappointed when fics paint him as this super passive, open lover. I mean it's all well and good to be someone who's genuinely okay with their partner having multiple partners/being kinda flirty, but I honestly don't see him as the type to be that chill

I mean sure he wouldn't exactly be as loud or aggressive about it as sayyy.... Joong or Sannie, I am a switch!Yeosang enthusiast after all, but I still think he'd get upset if he saw you being too chummy with one of your guy friends or one of the other members.

Early on in the relationship it would probably be all cute, he gets pouty and quiet, maybe clingy after and he needs lots of affirmation and assurance before he feels secure again.

But once he's comfortable with you? C'mon, you CANNOT tell me he's not the type to pin you against the door as soon as you get home, hands and lips desperately latching on to you as you clutch at his hair, deep voice muffled by your skin as he seethes over That Guy who kept hitting on you or how Wooyoung was a little too touchy for his peace of mind (woo totally did it on purpose btw).

And oh my god if those angry growls turn desperate? If you're not responding verbally cuz you're just so overwhelmed by everything that's Yeo?? And he suddenly whines into your neck and nuzzles your pulse point seeking verbal affirmation??? And you grip his hair and he whimpers when you tug so he has to look you in the eye?????

I need to calm tf down before I drop a whole 1.5k word smut fic in your ask box but you get the idea XDD

Jealous yeo lives rent free in my brain and you're writing has him running LAPS TwT we as a fandom have failed to have enough yeosang smut on the market and it Saddens Me

~Lyra

i am CLINICALLY INSANE!!!!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME 😭😭😭

like i’m sorry but i can imagine him just pinning you to the door, fully clothed, and grinding up against you. his mouth is just on your neck, sucking, biting, kissing at your flesh until its mottled with purple bruises. like there’s literally no rhyme or reason, he’s just that desperate to his his mouth on you and mark you up that he barely gives you a minute to think straight.

like you’re still both fully dressed and your back is still presses uncomfortable against the door, but that doesn’t stop yeosang from bucking his hips up into yours, dry humping you because he doesn’t have the patience with you right now. he needs you to know that you’re his and his alone.

“can’t fucking believe you,” he growls before biting down on the soft flesh. you keen at the sensation, legs going weak. you’re glad he has you pinned to the door; if he didn’t, you might fall, “all over that guy as if you don’t have a perfectly good boyfriend who takes care of you. what? did you just want my attention? because now you have it.”

you whimper as he grinds down hard against your pelvis, his clothed hard-on rubbing so deliciously against your folds. you want him in you, but with everything that’s going on, you can barely think, let alone talk.

“s-sangie-” you choke out, trying to tell him how bad you need him, but you’re cut off by the whine that claws it’s way up your throat.

“what?” he grunts into your neck, “you want to tell me something?”

you nod, but no words come out. yeosang chuckles darkly into your neck.

“go on then, baby,” his teeth graze against you, threatening to add to the purple bruises that run up and down your skin, “if you’re going to tell me anything, tell me how bad you need me.”

you know it’s an ego thing. of course it is; yeosang was obviously hurt when he saw you flirting with the other man, and now it’s your job to repair that. and you would, if you could hold a thought for more than two seconds. you’d love nothing more than to stroke his ego, make him feel all big and powerful and like he’s the only man in the world.

but you just can’t. every time you open your mouth, you lose your train of thought and all that comes out is a few pants as yeosang tears your mind down to nothing. you cant even focus when he pulls back a little, studying your face with glassy eyes before diving right back into your neck. he doesn’t suck, or bite, or kiss this time. he just nuzzles the sticky skin with his nose, mumbling almost incoherent words against it.

“baby,” he says after a moment or two, voice a little breathier than before, “baby, please tell me me how much you need me. need to hear it.”

his tongue darts out and he begins to lap one of the bite marks, as if trying to soothe it. it only makes your mind race more.

as do the continuous whimpers that you can hear spilling into the air, only this time they’re not from you. they’re from yeosang.

yeosang who is still grinding into you, albeit with sloppier, softer motions than before. who is still pinning you to the wall, only with a more desperate grip, as if you’ll slip away if he lets go. who still has his face pressed against your neck, words slipping from his mouth, but now they beg rather than degrade.

“baby, please,” he whispers, and you feel something wet fall against your neck; a tear, “i need you tell tell me you need me.”

he sounds so pathetic, crying into your neck like that, and it soon sinks in that the tables have turned without you even really realising. the man that had pinned you to the door minutes prior, wanting nothing more than to teach you a lesson, had vanished. he’s been replaced by your baby boy, who was so desperate to hear how much you wanted him. so desperate to know that you loved him as much as he loved you.

you try your hardest to gather your thoughts, just enough for you to be able to scrape together a sentence or so. but with yeosang bucking against you like a dog in heat, its so incredibly hard. add that to the fact that he’s gone back to suckling at your neck like its going to bring him some sort of comfort and there’s no way you were getting a coherent sentence out.

so you lace you fingers into his hair, grateful of how long it had gotten, and tug. he lets out a long whimper, eyes rolling into the back of his head as you tug his far enough back to see his face. you tug again, wordlessly pleading for him to look at you. just once would be enough for him to see how thoroughly mindless he has you already. just once for him to understand that he is all you can think about right now.

[angstylittleb1tch]

Who am I, to you? (Aether x creator!reader)

Summary: It is an imposter sagau universe where creator!reader escapes from her acolytes to the far corners of Sumeru and decides to start a flower shop but an unexpected guest comes for a visit...

Note: This is my very First Fic EVER. I do admit I'm no master at writing but I'm trying to learn and am open to criticism so please don't hesitate to correct me in my pronunciation, grammar, spelling or knowledge on any mentioned topic. Thanks!

Warnings: Yandere? (If you squint), mentions of swords, vines used as binding equipment (not bdsm you lil shits)

Pt 2

The sky today was just as beautiful as it was every day. Granted it never really changed due to teyvat basically just being zero's and one's but no one but you knew about that so better not to mention it.

Previous to your 'decent' into teyvat, you were just like any other gacha gamer who stumbled upon Genshin by accident and became addicted to it in a short span of time. Naturally, that had let you to explore more about this fandom which had eventually landed you to the sagau corner of Genshin fanfics which is why being teleported or rather isekai'd to teyvat wasn't a very shocking experience.

However, you weren't just going to walk into Mondstadt like the other fanfics, no. You were much calmer and more grounded not to mention clever. Never once were the acolytes alerted of your presence in teyvat as you slowly over the span of a few months made your way to Sumeru, making sure to stay hidden for days on end and to take all the longer but less active routes.

In your first week in Sumeru, you had found out that the traveler had yet to cross paths with the dendro archon and was still in Inazuma, so you had a general idea of where in the timeline you were.

Since you had no family or even proof of birth or existence in teyvat, finding a job was increasingly difficult along with keeping your identity hidden. However, as if you were blessed by some all-knowing power, higher than gods, you encountered an old yet very kind lady who allowed you to live with her at the outskirts of Sumeru so long as you helped her run her little flower shop.

Months passed in the blink of an eye, and you found yourself growing soft towards the lady you grew to see as your own grandmother. She insisted you call her that and you happily obliged. Your trust and love towards her grew so much so that eventually you decided to tell her the truth about your origins and status of creator in this world.

Though shocked at first, she never treated you any differently than before, and appeared to be more understanding of your situation. Both of you lived your life in happiness, away from the world. However due to being cut off from the world you were late to know that the traveler had successfully taken care of the Shouki no Kami and saved Sumeru from the scheming Akademiya.

Neither did you have any idea about how frivolously Aether had been turning teyvat upside down trying to look for you.

Unlike the other acolytes, Aether held a deeper connection with you, the creator. He was the first one you guided and the first to get to know your aura. There was absolutely no way he wouldn't find out about your arrival to teyvat. It was honestly better the others didn't. Imagine if everyone knew the creator was just walking amongst the common folk. That would certainly cause a panic amongst everyone.

He had to find you before the others did. He had to know. He had to see your face in person. One he had seen through the illusion of the sky way too many times before. One he had grown to love.

Yes, Aether was indeed in love with you. He had fallen not too long ago but he had fallen far. How couldn't he? You were just perfect in every way conceivable. Your eyes? Absolutely beautiful, he could have one glance and an eternity would have passed for him. Your smile? Mesmerizing. Oh, what he wouldn't give just to see a glimpse of it. He was sure he'd slay even the mightiest of gods, even Celestia, if it meant he'd be rewarded with one of your smiles.

It was entirely safe to say that when he'd gotten wind that there was a flower shop located at the ends of Sumeru said to house flowers no one had ever seen before, he was beyond intrigued. Especially since some poor soul he saw in Sumeru city had the same flower his sister always wore in her hair just laying around, claiming he bought it from your shop.

Now he just had to figure out what kind of a person would sell such a rare and practically impossible flower to get your hands on so freely. So, without thought, he soon found himself Infront of your little flower shop in the middle of nowhere with his eyes set straight at the door.

He could definitely feel your presence, it was everywhere. The plants, the flowers, the animals and even the air itself felt.... purified. It had to be your work. There was no doubt about it. Even Paimon didn't say a word for once in her life. She was too curious and perhaps a little uneasy at what kind of a deity she was to face now.

Unlike Paimon however, Aether could barely contain himself enough to stand. After a while of trying to gather courage to step in, he finally opened the door and was greeted by a view equivalent to the Fields of Elysium.

The sun rays fell through the windows lighting up the place, vast arrays of flowers were laid bare anywhere the eye could reach, wisteria flowers were hung from the ceiling as if they were growing from the skies above.

Never once before had Aether truly felt at home anywhere before more than here.

"I'll be there in just a second!" A sweet voice called out to him breaking him from his trance. It was you; you were talking to him. Addressing him. Before he could fully fathom what was to happen, you came out from the back of the store finally giving him a full view of your face.

"Hello there, how can I be of help today?" You greeted him.

Despite keeping up your calm, aloof and cheerful persona, you were panicking inside. Never once did you think you would meet him today. Him. Aether. Of course, you knew who he was. If his bright blonde hair wasn't a dead giveaway, then the floating ball of joy next to him definitely shouted out his identity to you.

You wanted to shout, to scream, to go up and crush Aether in a bone wrenching hug. You wanted to tell him how sorry you were for not being able to help him on his journey to find his sister. You wanted to hold him and take all his pain away. You wanted to tell him that you would be there for him.

That you Loved him. That you Love him.

Alas you couldn't, because there was no way in the entirety of teyvat that he would be able to let a stranger do that.

That's all you were to him of course. He didn't know you. There was no way he would. No one knew who you were, otherwise, you wouldn't be alive in this shop right now.

"Uhm hello?" You asked him, finally getting out of your own thoughts and noticing that he had been silent the whole time.

As if something snapped by your words, Aether finally came to his senses and responded,

"Ah! Yes! Oh, hi hello ahem I'm totally not staring."

You chuckled at his nervousness. "Never said you were."

If Aether's cheeks and ears weren't red earlier, they definitely were now. Your laugh was so pretty. He could never get enough of it.

"So, are you looking for any specific flowers? We have tons of variety; some I can assure you've never seen before! If you need, I can recommend you if you're buying for a specific occasion or I could just show you some general-" You smiled as you talked on and rambled about the flowers and Aether wasn't even sure if he was listening.

You looked absolutely ethereal, and Aether was so sure he was in heaven right now or somewhere close to it because archons were you beautiful. Even the Archon of Love would be jealous of your allure.

It's as if you were an enchantress, and in all honestly Aether wouldn't mind if you were, all because of the look you were giving him right now. He was already in cloud 9.

"-and so, I would definitely recommend the peonies. Hey? Are you even listening?"

"Hmm? Oh! Yes of course, Peonies, right? I'll take a bouquet."

"Alright just a moment, by the way, you never told me how you got here? I mean this place is pretty off the map, quite hard to stumble by it."

You knew exactly what you were doing, there was no way Aether just stumbled upon your shop out of nowhere. It was too out of character for him. Was there a reason he came here? Did he know?

"Oh, uhm I was uh recommended! Yes, I saw another traveler I came across in Sumeru own a rather unique flower, so I asked him where he got it, and he told me it was from your shop so here I am."

"I see, what flower was it? If you liked it so much, I could give you a few, consider it on the house."

"Are you sure? It's completely fine, I'll pay for them."

"No, it's alright, you can have them for free, don't worry about it. So which one was it?"

"Ahem, well it's the 'Inteyvat'"

"Oh. That flower.... I see you have an eye for flowers huh."

"Not really, it just... holds sentimental value. How about you, how'd you come across it?"

"Ah well you see, the seeds were given to me by my grandma, i suppose it's a family heirloom."

Both of you knew that neither of you told the entire truth however addressing it would cause a LOT of explanation, one you just weren't ready for, not before your coffee at least.

"So, what did you say your name was again?"

"Why? Are you trying to take me out on a date?"

"Would you say yes if I were?"

"Paimon will pay for the food!"

I guess everyone's a little bold today.

"I'm sorry did I hear that right? You? Paimon? The one who has less mora than Zhongli? Will pay for my date? That is only possible if we're going on a date in my dreams."

"WHY YOU-! Fine! Paimon won't be paying for your food then since you're such a big meanie to Paimon. And excuse you- Paimon isn't broke ok! Infact Paimon is richer than the traveler!"

"Paimon, how many times have I told you, those 'primogems' of yours are not actual currency."

"AGH-! Paimon's had it with you today! First you make Paimon fly the whole way here without telling why and now you're making fun of Paimon! That's it, Paimon is going to tattle to xiangling about how you actually threw away the Black-Back Perch Stew she made for you and only pretended to eat it because you were so full from Sara's cooking!"

You watched stifling your giggles as Aether's Face dropped into a terrified expression.

"NO! I'm sorry Paimon, please don't tell xiangling about that, she will murder me if she finds out. You don't want me dying.... do you?"

"Hmph"

"Please Paimon I'm begging you I don't want to die so young! I'll never make fun of you again! I'll even stop calling you emergency food so please! Anything but xiangling's wrath...."

You just couldn't hold it in anymore. If anything, Aether's pleading added to your amusement, and you burst in a fit of laughs.

Aether had almost forgotten you were here. His gaze turned to you and a smile creeped up his face which soon turned into and embarrassed look as he realized you had front row seats to his predicament.

"Hey! It's not that funny y/n! I'm serious! Stop making fun of me- Oh just great now Paimon's laughing too!" Though Aether was seeming to be embarrassed he was happy he could make you laugh like that.

That was until your smile disappeared from your face as you registered what he said.

"I never told you my name."

Both Aether and Paimon looked at each other as the atmosphere took a turn for the worse. There was no humor in your voice and your face looked cold, completely contradicting your laughs and smiles earlier.

"I- Please let me expla-"

Just as Aether took a single step in your direction vines sprung at him, securing him in his place as they wrapped around him. Paimon tried to pry them off but to no avail. He looked back up towards you but all he saw was a pure black sword pointing at his throat and a dark look in your eyes.

"Who am I, to you."

Well, that went well. I think? I'm still trying to figure out how I want to end this fic but I'm not completely clueless. I will be making a nice lil happy ending though. Anyways if you have any suggestions on how you want this fic to end then I'm open to them. Gosh Writing is hard, my respect for authors just skyrocketed.

Also, just a reminder that THIS IS MY FIRST FIC so please be nice and generous in your criticism otherwise if you don't like it them you can fuck skedaddle right off, Thank you very much.

Anyways, I'm gonna go sleep now It's like 2 am rn and I have to go on a trip in like a day so yeah, until I decide to post the next part fellow beings.

Signing off.

Also, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT IM BEGGING YOU I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS WORK IS EQIVALENT OF SHIT OR IF ITS ACTUALLY DECENT.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  Penny00Dreadful! @penny00dreadful has 29 fics in the Stranger Things fandom with 25 of them being in the Steddie Tag!

@hbyrde36 recommends the following works by @penny00dreadful:

Crossroads

Cat and Mouse

I'll Tell You My Sins and You Can Sharpen Your Knife

And They Were Roommates!

The Parting Glass

Sam, on top of being an absolutely amazing writer (AND artist!), is one of the brightest lights in this fandom (in my humble opinion). She is incredibly kind and encouraging, always ready to uplift other authors in the Steddie and ST fanfic worlds. I have had the incredible pleasure of being her beta reader for quite some time now, and am consistently blown away by her talent. There isn't a single one of her works that I wouldn't recommend, they are all fantastic reads. -- @hbyrde36

Below the cut, @penny00dreadful answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Opposites attract has always been a major draw for me, especially in my fandoms. Every pairing I’ve ever gotten into in every fandom I’ve been in have all been opposites attract and I’m not going to lie to you, I did not make that realization until this question. 😅 I had a very “Huh… that tracks” moment about it. 🤣 So the opposites attract factor is definitely big for me and while I suppose you could say that’s true for many, many pairings in fandom, there’s something about the complete opposite of both Steve and Eddie that is just enrapturing. From their aesthetic, to their personalities, to their upbringing, it creates such incredibly interesting parallels and options for building stories around them. On top of that, the two of them are so compelling as characters. Their various hang ups and traumas, their loves and hates, the time period and the genre of work they originated in all coalesce into something so captivating. I adore the two of them so much, they’re so fascinating. I think everyone can find a little bit of themselves in either one of them, but especially with the addition of Eddie into the series we got a character who was ‘other’, in the same way so many of us feel and are seen, he speaks to us on such a personal level. So, yeah. I love them.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Oh boy. There are so many. Enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, fluff. But if I had to pick one that has been my longest standing love, it would have to be a slow burn. Like, when it hits, it hits. And it hits hard.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

I looooove writing some tasty hurt/comfort. There’s just something so addictive about someone needing to be taken care of after something bad or traumatic happens or they’ve just had a really shitty day. It’s so cathartic. And also, I cannot like, I love getting comments screaming at me that I’ve made people hurt or cry or feel things because I know I’m going to make it better, I’m gonna give them that comfort. And it’s such an incredible compliment from people when they tell me that my writing has made them feel feelings. Like it is the highest praise possible that I could induce that in someone. It feels amazing.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

Oh my god, that is such a difficult question to answer. I have read so many that have left a permanent mark on my heart or completely rewired my brain. I had to go look through my bookmarks to narrow it down because my god, there are so many talented people in this fandom and even then I was attempted to just give a list of all my top ones because, god they make me feel so many things, people are so fucking talented, I love them. But I would say if I had to choose one, there’s one that lives rent free in my brain. I think of it all the time, it is so god damn special to me and if I’m being honest with myself, it’s the first one that came to mind, It would have to be wouldn’t it be nice (if we could wake up) by kissesforcas  kissesforcas I have talked about this fic on my blog before but it just hits me in the right way every time I read it, it’s absolutely magical. I can’t recommend it enough, please go read it. It changed me completely.  There’s so many beautiful moments in it, the two boys are so protective of each other in it, but they also adore their found family and will defend them at any cost, the two of them feel real, their communication feels genuine and honest and realistic while also being true to their characters, I just adore it.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

YES. FANTASY. It is wild to me that I have not done a fully fledged fantasy AU at all yet. Like I adore fantasy, what gives? Why have I not done it yet? Omg ALSO, historical. Like a lot of my special interests are historical based, WHY have I not done that yet?? AND, AND horror maybe? Like a psychological or zombie or paranormal/supernatural or slasher. So many things I haven’t explored that I want to do, and I can’t wait!

What is your writing process like?

Okay, so first things first, I get an idea.  Kind of obvious, I know, but yeah, the idea stage. Usually it’ll be something that hit out of nowhere, I’ll write down one line in the ideas doc and then pretend I won’t be thinking of it for the rest of the day. Then when I admit to myself I want to expand on it, I’ll take all of the brain worms attached to that idea and put them in their own doc. It’ll all be VERY disjointed at this stage, just a stream of consciousness of different situations/conversations/plot bunnies that popped into my head. Once I feel like I have enough of a concept through that, I begin to put them in order, maybe add a few more. Then I outline. I’m an outline kinda gal.  Over a page or two I’ll give a bare bones outline of what the fic will be, almost like it’s a short story? But still very rough.  Then I’ll start writing, usually in chronological order, I find that makes it easier to plant seeds and foreshadow and create consistency with the voice of the fic. Sometimes I will jump ahead if I’m really excited about a particular part of the fic, I’ll get it out before I lose steam on it. HOWEVER, I find that I almost ALWAYS diverge from the outline. If, as I’m writing, things start going in a different direction, I go with the flow, I don’t fight it. Fighting it, I feel is detrimental to my writing, trying to force myself into a box and hey, going with the flow has been working out pretty well for me so far. 🤣

Do you have any writing quirks?

Quirks? I dunno about that. I think I’m a pretty standard writer, but I do end up writing across three devices a lot of the time depending on where’s more comfortable. PC, tablet and phone. I’ll always stick to writing whatever my brain is focusing on at that time, but if I know I need to get a fic out and I’m not really feeling the inspo anymore, I’ll give myself an extra boost by watching movies with similar themes, listening to music related to it, or even just searching the trope on Pinterest can help me generate excitement about it again.Also do yourself a favor and get yourself a Bluetooth keyboard. It’s a game changer for writing on your phone.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I’ve done both and I much prefer posting on a set schedule. I always try to get the fic at least 50% finished before I start posting to give myself a nice cushion. Yeah, the immediate endorphin hit of posting once I’m done is great, but I much prefer the option to have a fic mostly or completely done before I post, so I can go back in and tweak things to make a theme hit harder or stick in a tad more foreshadowing or even just to edit.

Which fic are you most proud of?

I love all of my works, honestly. I write for me. I write the things I want to read. I think it would be difficult to narrow down a fic that I am the most proud of. Like I’m actually having a really difficult time picking one and saying “This one. This is the one I am most proud of.” Because I am proud of all of them and it’s for each of their own reasons. Like, some are very, very personal to me, some are stories that made me feel completely unhinged and obsessed(affectionately) and some are stories that touched people in very real ways, or made them feel safe and seen and that is so incredibly special to me. It’s a bit of a cop out to say that I can’t pick one, I can’t choose between my children, but I really can’t, they’re all so special, at least to me, in their own ways.

How did you get the idea for Crossroads?

So I have never seen the movie The Old Guard, but I have heard of it and while I know that reincarnation is not an aspect of that movie, I was struck with the idea of someone going through life over, and over, and over again, just to be close to the one they love the most. Like that kind of time bending devotion. And I had a brain worm of various historical ways of dying and I couldn’t figure out a way to write all of them into one fic before the idea of reincarnation hit. The very first image I had in my head of Eddie dying was being burned at the stake, so I had to work my way up to that time period and beyond. I knew I didn’t want it to be something that had only happened a few times over a couple of hundred years.  I knew I wanted it to be an ancient, centuries spanning kind of devoted love which is what led me to Ancient Greece, and in leading me there, I had to figure out why this was happening. Why Steve was traversing time just to be next to his boy again. Hecate appeared out of the mist and invaded my brain and it all kind of spilled out onto the page after that. 

When writing Cat and Mouse, what was something you didn’t expect?

I gotta be honest, the whole fic was unexpected. 😅 It was one of those stories when I originally thought of it, it was only gonna be a short little thing, maybe one or two chapters. By the end of it we were at 16 chapters and over 70K. Apparently I have no idea how to write anything short. But I think what also took me by surprise was how feral the two of them were for each other even though they didn't actually get together until later. I knew I wanted to have them being snappy and flirtatious for the whole thing and it evolved into the two of them being so dedicated to each other after only meeting a few times. I also didn’t expect the wild reaction I got to the fic, people loved it and were chomping for more and I was floored by it, it made me so incandescently happy!

What inspired Cat and Mouse?

So, the short answer is I saw this post from steddielations and it burrowed so deep into my brain, I had to get it out! Long answer is it was a mix of that post, and then a bit of Mr & Mrs. Smith mixed in along with John Wick. I just loved the idea of two deadly people being so soft for each other they’d be willing to burn the world for each other, do anything at any cost to keep the other safe.

What was your favorite part to write from And They Were Roommates!?

Oh my god, the banter. The banter was loaded with bitching and queerspeak and jabs, it was so much fun. I hadn’t really seen a story where the steddie boys had been bitchy queers before, like leaning into it and I just had to, I had to. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up and I could have gone on for ages just the two of them biting back and forth.

How do/did you feel writing I'll Tell You My Sins and You Can Sharpen Your Knife?

Conflicted, honestly. I was worried the POV I was writing from would be a little too out there, you know? There were a few times throughout writing where I thought I’d have to go back and change it out to be more of a standard fic but at the end of the day it felt so right to have the story told the way it was and it also felt very in line with Take Me To Church as well. It’s also the most poetic piece of writing I have done to date and while it’s not something I can see myself revisiting too often, it was a fantastic exercise in moving out of my comfort zone. It got me, right in the heart.

What was the most difficult part of writing The Parting Glass?

Oh boy. The whole fic was an exercise in catharsis. It was a way of processing my own grief after losing a family member and getting it all out into words was very, very helpful. I think the hardest part was just putting down into words how Eddie was feeling right in the aftermath, you know? Like grief is such a personal thing, everyone experiences it differently, so I wanted to try to figure out how Eddie would respond to it, especially considering it was the death of someone so important to him. So to have him looking around the trailer and it being empty but still with bits of Wayne dotted around like he was about to walk back through the door was probably the realest and most difficult part for me.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

Oh god there’s so many! I could pick so many! But the first thing that came to mind is the small interaction between Eddie and Robin in Return of The King, when Steve is demonstrating his newly acquired vampire strength for the kids and Eddie has to hold onto Robin to keep himself from melting into a puddle: “Down boy.” She muttered. “Me next.” He practically whimpered right back. “Oh god, Robbie, I wanna be that stump. Tell him to do me next.” “You’re pathetic.” “What about it?” [...] Robin leaned in close to his ear but continued to stare at Steve. “If you two don’t calm the fuck down I’m going to get the hose.” Wet Steve. “Please get the hose.” I love Robin and Eddie together whenever I can get them snarking at each other, it’s just so entertaining. 

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

Oh yeah! A good few things. I’m coming back from my writing break and I’m going to be working on the final two fics for my anniversary event, Through The Valley and Devotion.  I also have a Summer Exchange Fic in the works along with starting on my Steddie Big Bang piece that I am also signed up for as an artist, I’m so excited to start them!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

I think I would just like to add that this blog, this concept is such a wonderful idea, you’re doing great work here to bring people and fics to new eyes and it has been an honor and a privilege to be put forward the way I have, I’m so so so thankful. 🖤

Thank you to our author, @penny00dreadful, and our nominator, @hbyrde36! See more of Penny00Dreadful's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[dootznbootz]

Hello. I honestly don't know how to prep this but uh, why do I feel like MM's Circe had so much potential? Like, MM did the lazy thing that is "making Circe's life a living shit show because that's the only way her actions would be justified" which... Is the annoying thing most modern interpretations do.

One good example would actually be EPIC: The musical. But in EPIC it only works because Circe isn't exactly a vocal point. And Circe having a motive plays into a pretty big theme of the show (Specifically in the song "Monster" where Odysseus is basically just... Contemplating everything)

But when you have 400 paged book, focusing around Circe, you have so much potential to focus more on the godly elements of these people. Someone else has said this before but ama say it too. The Greek gods had REASONS for acting the way they did. Zeus misused his power, that's what a king does. Artemis's wrath was unmatched when you wronged her, that's how nature is. Hades took a young girl from her mother, that's what death does.

And I'd like to add some of my own.

Aphrodite is a completely morally gray character, that's how love can be, it can go againts you sometimes. Dionysus was all over the place, sometimes good sometimes terrible, that's what madness is. Hermes is swift and a trickster because that's what people we deem 'messengers' can be like, via rumours.

When you notice these complexities to the characters, you start to realize. Circe misused her magic on innocent people for entertainment, that's what black/evil magic does. But at the same time, she helped Odysseus. Because even evil magic, or the 'worst possibilities' can be useful sometimes.

I think it is SUCH a missed opportunity MM didn't focus more on this aspect. Because that would've made for such an interesting story an unique story. Most of these modern retellings try to push modern ideologies on ancient works, which doesn't work. No retelling tries to tell these stories in a ancient Greek perspective (which is actually fairly easy you just have to do your research)

And with an author as skilled as MM is, I'm sure she could do it. But honestly, I don't think her writing is good in the perspective of Greek mythology. She could probably do a great modern story but let's face it, that wouldn't get as much money.

A story focusing around a goddess, and what it means to be a divine personification of nature and a concept, not to you but to the humans you exist for.You can really focus a lot on that and it could be such an interesting story.

All of these writers to me just seem like they're exploiting Greek mythology, which bugs me. If miller wanted to tell these stories, she would've told THE stories with her own twist. Not completely change them to the point they lose their charm.

If miller couldn't do that, if she wanted to write a complex feminist character she wouldn't have chosen Circe.

Something I really admire in your work is how you characterize these guys. It's obvious you're extremely passionate. I also love how you give Penelope clear flaws. You don't have to mortify everyone else to make her 'stand out' or to be 'more likable'. I really love your fic and I'm wishing you nothing but success in the future! :D

Anyways, enough about MM's book.

What do you think is one of Penelope's favorite little quirks od Odysseus', like something he does she finds really cute? :)

I hope you find pretty flowers today and get a sweet for free, dear anon. This ask made me so happy as it's like, perfect. As you gave a Circe rant that will be fun to dissect but also gave me a silly lil question for me to feast on and for the balance and the silly and I love it. You also sent it at the perfect time as I was getting a wee bit sad about how women from Greek Mythology get treated by retellings and fandoms. This really cheered me up 🩵

And thank you so much for the sweet compliment! It means so much to me that you love my silly lil guys as I love sharing them! And don't worry I am working on stuff! ;~; I know I'm taking a while but I am!

I'll do the cute stuff Penelope loves about Odysseus :P

(I do have them "mirror" each other a lot with "like-minded" so they often have SOME similar traits in some ways that both find endearing about the other. (both love watching the other brainstorm/think/swindle/winning/etc., both love (and are sometimes annoyed by) their stubbornness.) Stuff like that :D Also in general. Thank you, Anon. You've made me realize I've been going a wee bit too crazy with Penelope and kind of forgot about Odysseus.

1.) This is a past post that goes into it more but she just adores his freckles. She has counted them and memorized them. She's going to kiss every single one. He mostly has them on his face and shoulders but they are peppered a lil everywhere (he gets it from his mama). She uses the freckle pattern he has across his nose as "stars" for her tapestries.

Rando: Hey, that's not how the stars are mapped. Penelope: They're my stars, asshole >:(

She has to do a "recount" when he returns as some of his "stars" are covered by scars now :')

2.) She loves his hair and how well-groomed he usually is. He also is a bit like a cat in how he loves being pampered. (lil post about that) She loves scratching at his scalp and at the tiny hairs that are at the back of the neck. She loves the pretty grays he has when he returns as well :') She really loved how he looked without and with a beard. (It doesn't end up growing too long anyway)

3.) He's very warm. She's not really affected by temperature too much (she's used to freezing rivers and she herself is naturally cold. Her average temperature is colder than the average person. She only really has to worry about "drying up".) she loves his warmth. She wraps herself up in blankets while he's gone despite not really needing them sometimes as...she misses her furnace. (also his snoring) He also wraps himself in her blankets while away but sadly wakes up to them tossed about because he gets too hot. He needs his lil iceblock wife.

4.) She just adores his big laugh. The laughing so hard you cry one. Hearing it was kind of a "...Okay, I wanna hear that again." for her.

5.) He tends to bite his lip. Sometimes it's endearing and hot but he also will often rip at them. She tries to help him with this habit by distracting with kisses...Though with her teeth, it doesn't always help. Fun fact: For their first kiss on the lips, they were so stupid excited that he knicked himself on her teeth. She felt awful but he just kissed her again. It was bloody and bad but they were so happy. His bad habit returns when he's away because he's not getting his kisses 😔

6.) He whistles while he whittles often.

7.) So ancient Greece had yo-yos (probably in Odyssey but I'm getting silly with it)...and Odysseus is a nerd who WILL do tricks with them. (they can be made with wood and string so... odypen lol) He has fun trying to show other people how to do it too. It's a nice fidget. (modern day he would have definitely been that guy with that rubix cube lol)

8.) So Penelope is better at getting more for less, (lowering prices) and Odysseus is better at giving less for more. (selling shit for good things) They both can do it but they have their strengths.

9.) He got big eyebrows and with his weird "face shifting" thing he inherited from Autolycus, he can make a lot of silly faces.

10.) He tends to make sandcastles whenever he waits for her at the banks of rivers.

11.) He's a "heavy stepper" when he's not sneaking. It's not because of his scar. He just likes walking like that. :) Not so much "stompy" but she finds it cute that she knows it's him coming based on the footsteps she hears.

Some things that annoy her >:3

She's incredibly ticklish and he's not so much and he keeps doing it. STOP IT >:(

So she's smaller than him in mine and in general, he loves draping himself across her (he's like a cat remember?). Most of the time she loves that weight as she loves him and he's a warm weighted blanket. Though while she's strong, he'll sometimes be a brat and put so much of his weight on her just to mes with her. (mostly when they're young and dumb. not so much after he returns)

(Not this big of a size difference ofc but you know >:) )

Those are some and I have more rattling around in my head but I wanna finish this ask and I gotta do some shit :')

Thank you again, Anon. This made me happy <3

[olderthannetfic]

When there was an anon about "To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods" a few months ago (or so?), I got curious and looked at the Goodreads reviews linked and at other reviews and the description.

Haven't looked at them this "round" of the asks regarding it, but IIRC I got the impression that it may originally have been a fanfic that had its names and some details altered to be published as an original work because IIRC some reviewers said there was little exposition as if one were already knowledgeable about stuff like the characters and world setting. Of course, I may also be (and most probably am) absolutely incorrect in this assumption.

The "mob" of angry reviewers also kinda gave me the impression that they may have been a friend group (based on their very similar phrasing and vocabulary and accusations, which may still also just be coincidental) who disliked the author for fannish reasons or something else and decided to take their (fannish?) dislike to the published literary world with the author's first publication... but again, I may just be wildly misinterpreting things and may have read their reviews in bad faith.

Regardless of whether or not the book is a "colonizer romance" or badly written or even disrespectful or tasteless or something else, I feel sorry for the author...

--

I wouldn't assume this. Usually, when het fics get the serial numbers filed, they're from one of the big het ships with a whole culture of doing this and it's all very open and liked by the fans. Some review would say which ship at the very least if not what the original title was.

However, I would absolutely assume that a book that reads like fic is by an author whose past experience writing is mostly with fic and who reads a lot of fic.

I also have the impression that some authors in the romantasy space are people who like sff settings on TV but don't have a lot of practical experience in how one establishes sff world building in a novel. They may have cool ideas, and these ideas may show up by the end of a book or later in a series, but the beginning doesn't have much flavor. Someone coming from a more book sff background would probably either explain more up front or whet people's appetites to understand the sff elements by giving a lot more sense of the setting. (But they might fall down on the romance aspects.)

There are also plenty of cliques in booktok, booktube, book twitter, etc., so a group of angry reviewers could be coming from somewhere like that and not from fandom beef.

It's also possible that the reviewers all sound the same because they read/watch the same book influencers who talk a certain way rather than because the reviewers are friends with each other.

Very likely, you're picking up the vibes accurately. I just think there are some other possible reasons for these vibes.

--

Poking around goodreads reveals a bunch of Corrain drama spillover. Search 'corrain', 'youtube', 'reylo', etc. for the reviews that give a sense of where samey-sounding people might be coming there from.

It's very clear that many reviewers heard all about the book long before they read it.

[plzandspanku]

Extremely Hot Marauders Takes

(that will probably get me so much hate but it's worth it)

You would have found the "next big fic" in the fandom already if you were more willing to read wips. Reading them hyping up the writer with comments and kudos keeps the work going. That gives the writer more incentive to complete the work and more incentive for the work to then blow up.

A lot of people (not all, not even most, but enough that it's extremely evident) who write Jegulily very clearly only do it because they want to write something Jegulus but they're afraid to get hate from Jily shippers.

If you can get over the things that Peter, Regulus, Barty, and Evan did in canon enough to include/head canon them in canon divergent or alternate universe works and make them the good guys you should get off your high horse and do the same with Snape.

Outside of it being a very easy plot device a lot of the marauders fandom write Snape negatively because you can't handle the idea of Lily being presented in/with a non-crack heterosexual relationship with anyone but James

The demographic age change in the fandom skewing significantly younger than ever before has ruined a lot of aspects of the works in the fandom especially with the rising puritan culture of the Gen Alpha/Gen Z cuspers. You guys are prudes and if you don't want to read explicit works and smut move on, there is literally no need to interact.

People will sit on here and cry that the girls are underdeveloped and neglected in fanworks, and then play Ring-Around-the-Rosie with their relationships rather than bothering to develop them into something consistent and impactful. At this point there are so many half baked ideas that you could literally just swap out the names for any of the girls in any work and most people probably wouldn't notice.

WRITE A FUCKING OUTLINE!!!! It doesn't even have to be deep or well done, but you should have a vague concept as to the direction that your story is going in.

Most of you don't know how to use AO3 properly. Why the fuck are you marking a work as completed when it is so so very clearly not. Why in the world would you not include important tags just for shock value. And for the love of God, write a summary. I don't care if it's a one paragraph excerpt of your work followed by a "this is the one where this happens". I'm not gonna read your story if I don't know what it's about.

[bigdumbbambieyes]

so, i've been inspired by @intothedysphoria and wanted to write my own little positivity post for the people that i've connected with through this fandom!! 🤍

to start off, @intothedysphoria, thank you so much for being the shining light that you are in this fandom. it can be a dark place at times and your efforts towards being a positive person (even when it's hard for you) is truly admirable!

my bub, my best friend, @hephaestn!! I'll never forget the day I decided to DM you and be the annoying little shit that I am and our friendship was born!! you bring me so much joy on a daily basis and I know I can count on you to cheer me up when I need it, be a rational voice when I'm being a mean girl kfkjng and being such a talented writer that makes me feel the most incredible things!

god's funniest little clown @martianclown, you are my circus peanut and i adore you and our conversations so much! you are incredibly talented at what you do and you deserve only the best in life, thank you for allowing me to be your friend!

my sweet @akioukun, you are like the sun with the way I can turn to you and you immediately warm me and make me smile. your talent and musing are unmatched and you are such a delight, I admire you greatly and appreciate you sm!

the best co-captain around, @thatgirlwithasquid, thank you for always being you and for giving me the best cunningway content I could ever ask for, you have inspired me in so many ways and I appreciate your friendship w me!

my fellow Canadian, @chrisbitchtree, thank you for being the world's best beta reader and such an amazing person, I appreciate you more than you know! your writing is so sweet and I admire it and you so much, you've put a smile on my face when I've needed it!

@starkstruck27 you have sent me numerous asks saying the sweetest things, you continue to make my day whenever you do - you are so incredibly sweet and I appreciate you so much!

my hilarious moot @harringroveera, you have made me laugh with your memes time and time again, and you've inspired some of my writing with them, too!! I can always count on you to put a smile on my face, so I thank you so much for that.

the equally hilarious @shieldofiron, your memes and posts have delighted me for a very long time and I really appreciate you for that - I also deeply admire how you write such quality fics so quickly, I am truly in awe of you and your talent. I also must personally thank you for getting me into munver lol!

@dragonflylady77, you have always been so supportive of me from the beginning and I must thank you a million times over! you always have something nice to say about everyone and I truly believe that without you, this community wouldn't be the same.

the talented @adelacreations, you are such a generous and passionate person, I admire you and your art and your writing!! your creativity is also something I very much admire, please keep being your lovely self!

@spaceofentropy thank you for always saying such kind things about my writing, you are so lovely and I adore you so much!! I still remember that time I was feeling really down and you cheered me up, I hold that moment close to my heart.

hi @discodeviant you are so incredibly talented and I still adore the prom ficlet you wrote for me all those weeks (months?) ago!! your writing is beautiful and I admire it and you sm, thank you for sharing it with us all!

@weird-an I continue to be in awe of your writing and I remember being 'new' to the fandom last year and just...having my jaw be on the floor every time I read one of your ficlets! I admire you greatly and hope that you continue to write forever and ever!

sweet @grey-sides, I know we don't talk much but when we do, I always enjoy it! your writing is phenomenal and I remember you were one of the first writers I came across when I really became active in the fandom last year! I adore you and your writing, please never stop making what makes you happy!

@femmebilly, hi honey, I miss you!! You are one of the first friends I made in this fandom and I still have such a soft spot for you! You've always been so supportive of me and everyone in this fandom and without you, it would be a darker place. Thank you for being my lovely friend.

@deedoop you will forever and always make me laugh with your posts and I've told you this many times but I simply MUST tell you again, lovely!! give Billy's jar a kiss for me and take one for yourself, too! thank you for being such an amazing person!

my darling @valsyngur, my Steve!! this must be so random for you lol but I just wanted to tell you that I really adore you very much and what we're creating together, and I admire the art you create! you are such a sweetheart and I'm glad to call you my friend!

the sweetest @applewillowstone, thank you for inviting me to your server and for being so kind! you are incredibly talented in so many ways and I am in awe of you!! thank you for sharing your talent with us!

@destroya2005, you have picked me up with your words far too many times and I am in debt to you because of it (in the best way)! you are too sweet and you are so loving, thank you so much for being you!

@passivenovember, whenever you reblog one of my posts, you ALWAYS make me laugh and it's such a small thing but it truly makes my day! Your writing is also incredible and I just wanted to appreciate you in this post!

the lovely @oopsiedaisiesbaby, your writing is amazing and I love our mutual love for Lana!! you always leave the most lovely comments on my fics and posts and I appreciate you so, so much!

@ratbastardbilly, hello, I don't believe we've ever spoken but I just need you to know that your art holds a special place in my heart! you are so incredibly talented and I admire you greatly!

my sweet @simplydes, I am so happy that we've become friends!! You are so insanely talented and I love that I can just message you with whatever crazy little musing or hc I have about our boys and you return that energy! Your art is some of the most lovely I've ever seen and speaks to me on another level, thank you so much for sharing it with us!

my newest friend @hellfirefucker, you are such a little gremlin and I adore you so!! Your talent is so clear and you only get better and better with each piece! Thank you for picking me, choosing me, loving me (lol), I admire your talent and you always make me laugh whenever we chat!! thank you thank you so much!

@robthegoodfellow thank you for being such a delight to talk to!! I will forever fondly remember our Yellowjackets discussions after every ep nkjfgnj I can't wait for S3 so we can do it all again! Thank you for being such a lovely person!

@ihni, your art and writing is some of the first I'd seen when I first started posting hg and I want to thank you for continuously putting a smile on my face with it!! you are very lovely and I admire you!

@wickedlydevious, you took me in like a stray kitten once and have been lovely ever since!! lol I know we don't speak much but when we do, you are always so lovely!! thank you for making my fandom experience so much better!

there are also dozens upon dozens of artists and writers and just people that are so amazing and have impacted me in the best of ways so I will tag them here! Please know that I adore what you create and am in constant awe of you (in fact, maybe a little intimidated 😳) @thediktatortot, @metalscoops, @wrecked-fuse, @billyharringson, @callieb, @dreaminginpencil, @kallisto-k, @makeadealwithdean, @whenyouwishuponastar7, @suspiciouslackofclowns, @aggressiveviking, @writer-in-theory, @lilkiwiboi42, @billysbuttcheeks (idk why it won't let me tag you!), @lemonhitsu, @saberghatz, @thewaywardkees

I also want to give a heartfelt thank you to every single person who has either liked or reblogged my posts or took the time to say something nice to me or my writing because I am just a girl who is writing about what makes her happy and if my writing makes you feel even just a little spark of something, I know I've done good!! Thank you thank you thank you!!

Bambi 🤍

[apparentlytheproblem]

Hi! I love your writing and I’ve been literally binging through all the fics! I was kinda hoping for a fluff / angsty fred fic 👀

So we all know our beloved Fred dies and I’m kinda wanting to have a fic around that. It starts very warm and calm with possible memories before the war and how happy the two were waiting to get married, start a family etc. maybe a little moment in the morning of their house together waking up and it’s just stolen kisses and happiness 😩

Until the war begins and they both want to fight in it, very bittersweet moment of goodbye between them while Fred tells reader to be safe and how it’ll come back on both of them. During the war we know Fred gets killed and how it could be the reader protects a younger person during the war and that’s how they are killed too. The Weasley family not knowing they were dead until they saw her being placed down on a stretcher beside Fred. It’s just SAD and ya know ANGST. Anyway could be the two of them reuniting in the afterlife Idc!

But if this is too much don’t stress you’re amazing 😩

b i t t e r s w e e t

fandom- Harry Potter

pairing(s)- fred weasley

a/n: ahh i'm so happy you've been enjoying my writting, that makes my day. this brought back plenty of unhappy memories of a ten year old reading it for the first time, but what this really remiend's me of this is the line, "it's been a long day my friend, i'll tell you all about it when i see you again". i hope you don't mind as i hav'nt really written a proper fic on this and i'm willing to try again to reach your expectations, i wish this enlightens your day, and makes you smile a little brighter with love, tiya

requested- yes

warnings- unexperienced writer, not thoroughly edited

the five times fred weasley was effortlessley in love

sometimes being the funniest person in the room was tiring, but being the most handsome, charming and the funniest was just absolutely exhausting. Fred was the type to always brighten the mood. he was the vibe, but sometimes its difficult to always light the room and be that positive ray of sunshine all the time, for it did take effort but he'd give it his all. But when it came to you? it felt so effortless.

(1) on his knees

Fred Weasley has never gotten on his knees for anyone, he'd never belittle himself to begging and he would certainly never find himself in a position where he would have to bend down. and for a girl? pfft

but he did, oh he did, he did, he did.

he found himself on his knees tying you laces with so much adoration. and a thought went across his mind.

is being this in love even real?

(2) oh for a hello

mind you, you were minding your business and making your way to the next class when the hem of your skirt was pulled, spinning you to the proximity of Fred Weasley's handsome face. you were cornered to a wall with him leaning in as if he owned the world.

"hello"

(3) privellages

Fred was going of about god knows what and he was being quite annoying. he was upset about you doing some reckless things as if he did not partake in any such activities.

"Freddie". that had shut him up so well ah.

"can i call you that?" you pestered on, watching him immitate a fish. he turned himslef around and started smiling in hopes you wouldn't notice how flustered he's gotten. it was astounding how effortlesley happy you would make him and it drove him crazy.

"hmm"

imma marry this girl

(4) that not so little sensation

Weasley had somehow gotten into your dorm, and to be honest you didn't bother to wonder how. Beacause, when he had a will, he'd find a way, and if he could not find a way? he would pave with his own hands.

he springled and peppered your face with kisses and had his arm tightly around you as if you'd disapear if he let go.

what was that sensation he felt everytime he saw her smile and laugh? it was him being effortlesley in love

(5) die for you

it says you see what you have loved the most in your last, and he was happy it was them, cause its always been them. He felt all the stress, the anxiety and the worry leave him, it was just her, and who could be stressed after seeing that face. it was like a sponge absorbing anything and everything that made you worry.

it's been a long day, he'd tell her all about it when he saw her again

[siconetribal]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💚

I have been sitting on this for so long because I just couldn't decide! (Does it matter if they're WiP?) Limiting to five is going to be tough, since I like most of my body of work. I'm working on two currently, so I guess I'll pick a mix of fandoms? Alas, without further ado and in no special order, here is my list (all links lead to chapter 1/one shot. Any and all others can be found in my master post):

Put it on My Tab (Jason Todd)

Summary: Everyone deserves time off, and the vigilantes of Gotham are no exception to the rule. The boys decide to take a weekend to let loose. Who knew a few drinks would lead to a stranger in bed? A/N: This was an idea I had sitting in my head that was planned to a few parts, now it's multiple chapters. I'm glad it's well received, I was super nervous people wouldn't like how I depicted Jason.

Coffee Shop (Ryo Bakura)

Summary: The morning rush waits for no one, and that first hit of caffeine is a must! But what can you do when you're stuck behind someone who can't settle on an order?! A/N: I know there's always a lot of Yami Bakura fics, so I wanted to a give a little shout-out to the host himself, Ryo Bakura.

Revenge (Rika)

Summary: How could her friends abandon her, forsake the paradise she had awaiting them? What could she do to right these wrongs? A/N: Please read TW. A Mystic Messenger fic written from the perspective of the antagonist. My first time ever writing one, and I'm still fairly proud of it.

Relaxing Tea (Satsuki Kitaoji)

Summary: On a street lined with fancy boutiques, there stood a quaint little place on the corner. During the day it remained closed, but come around 4 PM, the lights were on and the open sign sat in the window. Unassuming yet inviting, it attracted the people in need of something. A something that the busy world was unable to give. One evening on the way back from a busy night, a particular man stood at its threshold. Something beckoned him here. A/N: One of my first Voltage fics that I've written, and possibly one of the first fics I've ever written on here.

Plus One (Loki)

Summary: Loki debuts with the Avengers, and all the news and media outlets are dying for the latest scoop. How does one actually get the attention of a prince who once was only seen as a god from lore? A/N: This one didn't get a lot of love, which kinda hurt since I really liked it.

THIS TOOK LONGER THAN IT NEEDED TO, STILL! I battled with a fifth option, trying not to repeat any fandoms!

[unknownfacelessfanfictions]

Heya! Can you make a cute short fic with Q? I've been obsessed with him lately, anything should be perfect!

Cultural Differences

Pairing: Q x fem!reader Fandom: Star Trek: The Next Generation Words: 2K Warnings: Hurt/Comfort Summary: Sometimes it is better to ask for the reason for an extraterrestrial ritual. Often it is better to do this before the ritual, otherwise you will come back with an omnipotent being as your husband. A/N: Thank you so much for your request, I really hope you like it. I feel like this is not the best thing I've ever written, because I find Q difficult to write, but I really tried.

Frowning, she stared at him from narrowed eyes as she did her best to remain calm and stop herself from smacking the smug grin off his face: " I'm sorry, what?" She truly hoped she had misheard and the all-knowing being/her lover before her, had not said what she thought she had heard. "I asked when the honeymoon was scheduled to start." She was pretty sure the confusion on her face was more than evident. "Where the hell did you come up with honeymoon? You do know what that is, don't you?"

Offended, Q pursed his mouth and jumped up, clapping his hands. "Mon amour, you insult me. Of course I know what a honeymoon is. I am Q, I know everything." He stepped towards her, bent down to take her face in his hands, and smiled his most charming smile, which usually made her heart pound, but now more than upset her. "It's a time for a newly married couple, to spend together." He pulled her up an

With great effort, she tried not to let her shudder show and looked up at him sceptically. "Have you not noticed your mistake, O all-knowing Q?" Her voice was mocking, something she would never have dared to do in his presence at the beginning of their acquaintance, for fear of being turned into a frog. "Maybe I'll have to give you a bit of a jolt: Newly. Married. Only people who have just got married go on honeymoons. We're together, not married, Q."

Now it was up to him to look confused, an expression she rarely saw on his face, and would have more than enjoyed under other circumstances. "We ... are, though?" "Oh," she laughed out, having to hold onto the top of his uniform to keep from falling. "Oh no, we're not. Believe me, my dear, I would remember such a ceremony." A frown took up residence on his face and slowly her laughter died away. "But... you said that you ..." Q seemed distracted and instantly she felt bad and took his hand.

"Hey. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, honey. I didn't mean to say I wouldn't. It's just..." Q interrupted her. "The ceremony was three hours ago. How can you not remember that?" "What?" All humour had disappeared and she was back to confusion. "Q three hours ago we were on the planet doing this strange water ritual that the inhabitants insisted on because they believed we were the incarnations of the divine royal pair before the Captain had had a chance to... oh my God."

She stared at him from widened eyes. "Q. Please tell me we didn't get married down there." He fell silent. "Q!" "You told me not to tell you," he returned, staring at the floor in a huff, his arms crossed in front of his chest and his mouth twisted into a pout.

She was at a loss for words. Of course she loved him, they had been together for years, but this? A wedding? Without even knowing about it? She sank down on the sofa and lowered her head into her hands. Now even the stupid grin from him, throughout the ceremony made sense, or the surprisingly passionate kiss after it. For a few minutes Q was actually silent before he spoke up again. "I thought you knew." His voice was low and he sounded guilty, a register of voice she had never heard on him before. She looked up. "How the hell could I have known about this! It was a first contact mission! I thought it was some kind of welcoming ritual."

"Aren't you the ship's anthropologist?" Gradually she became more agitated and jumped up. "I like to say it again, FIRST CONTACT MISSION!!! We knew nothing about the planet except that it was warp capable, though still believed in the old gods. That was it. How was I supposed to know about this ritual?" Q started to reply, however, she waved it off with a snort. "You can save that." With long strides she walked over to her door. "Where are you going?" "To blow off steam," she hissed back, giving him a cold look as he tried to follow her. "Alone."

He stuck his chest out and leaned down to her. "I am a Q. You cannot command me mortal." His words hurt more than she had believed, yet she only jutted her chin. "Stay away from me and leave me alone for this moment so I can think or I swear I will never speak another word to you." She was angry and Q knew it, however he didn't seem to believe her. "You wouldn't be able to bear that. You love me too much for that."

All he earned was another cold stare before she continued her way down the corridor. "Mon amour?" His call reached her ears before the turbolift doors closed, yet she did not respond. For the moment, she needed her peace. Apparently Q seemed to have realised that too, because contrary to her expectations, he had not followed her into the lift, for which she was grateful to him. Q had been right. She would never in her life be able to stand not talking to him again.

Her path led her to the botanical garden and only there, on one of the benches, hidden behind one of the huge rhododendron bushes, did she allow her frustration and fear and all her other feelings to run free and ruffle her hair. Married! Her! To Q!

She wasn't arrogant enough not to admit that she hadn't imagined it at least once, however, she had usually swept those ideas aside quickly because the idea was ridiculous. Q, the Q, capricious, omnipotent and as old as time itself, as a husband who dutifully waits at home for his wife to come home, with meals cooked and quarters freshly cleaned? If she hadn't felt so much like crying, she would have laughed. Just the idea of Q in a relationship was bizarre and she was the other part of that relationship.

"Are you all right?" Startled, she started up and looked into the questioning and kind face of the android in gold uniform who was looking at her. "You look like you are not well and as a friend, I was wondering if I could offer my help." A small smile crept onto her lips. Data really was a case in point.

Sighing, she shook her head. "I'm afraid not, my friend. This is a problem between me and Q." "Ah." Data tilted his head in understanding. "You are experiencing emotional misery due to a problem in your relationship." He settled down on the bench beside her after a moment's consideration. "However, I am sure that you will overcome this crisis, as you did the many crises before it."

She glanced to the side. "I'm not so sure about that. This isn't about a prank being played or the fact that he thinks I'm a little too reckless on missions." She swallowed. "When we were on this planet, before you could bring us up, we had to participate in a ritual that was apparently a wedding ceremony. And he knew, but didn't say anything!" Date nodded slowly. "And you are upset because you do not want a marriage with him." "What? No!" "So you do desire this marriage with him?" "No!"

Data looked confused. "So you do not wish for marriage, but equally you wish for it." Again she sighed. "Data, I'm not mad about the wedding itself. I mean, sure I'm a little pissed about that too, but it's much more the fact that he didn't tell me." "You feel like he took away your choice." "Maybe." "Have you talked to him about it?"

She stared at the floor in front of her. "Not really. I rather... well... rushed out of our quarters because I needed time to myself." Data hummed in agreement and rose. "Perhaps you should talk to him about it then. Counselor Troi has explained to me that the key to a good relationship and marriage, is communication." She winced slightly at the word 'marriage', but still had to smile at the idea that her synthetic boyfriend had received relationship advice from the ship's Counselor. Whatever for. "Perhaps."

Data nodded goodbye and left her alone. For a few minutes she tried to compose herself before she spoke his name softly, barely audible. "Q." Within a split second he appeared in a flash of light before her, on his knees and his hands held into a praying pose. "Mon étoile, please forgive me. I promise you, I really believed you knew." He almost hugged her legs. "Please don't leave me alone. I can't stand this without you. I'm sorry, I really am. Tell me what you want me to do. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it."

Shocked, she stared down at him. "Q, you haven't been alone for fifteen minutes!" Q just shook his head. "Fifteen minutes too long." She sighed and gently tugged at his curls to lift his gaze to her. "I want to talk to you. And for that, you need to be calm. Sit down, please." She gestured to the seat next to her where Data had been sitting until just a moment ago and Q complied with her request almost instantly, even seeming nervous by his standards, which made her feel a tiny bit guilty since she had never seen him so upset.

There was silence between them before Q dared to raise his voice. "Are you still angry with me?" "I don't think so." She shook her head and folded her hands in her lap. "I'm disappointed, though, Q." He let out a small whimper. "That's almost worse." "Q, I want you to understand that I'm not necessarily upset because we got married. To be honest, it's something I personally wouldn't object to." She reached for his hand and ran her thumb over the back of it. "It's how that bothers me."

"I know you believed I knew. Still, you should have asked me Q, at least to be sure. By not doing so, you took away my chance to make a decision. Not that I would have said 'no' to a wedding," she added quickly when she saw the sad expression on his face. "However, I would have preferred that if we had decided to get married, that it happened with the full and conscious consent of both of us, in the presence of the people we care about. And not on a foreign planet, surrounded by strangers who think we are incarnations of their gods."

Carefully, she pressed a kiss to the back of his hand. "I love you Q, I really do. But you must understand my point of view."

For a few moments Q was silent before he nodded slowly. "I understand you, mon amour. And I'm sorry. I should have asked and made sure you knew what you were getting into. I should have thought about the consequences my actions could bring instead of just thinking about myself and the opportunity I was presented with." "You should have," she admitted, smiling gently at him.

He smiled slightly sheepishly and she thought she had rarely seen him so shy and vulnerable. "If it makes you feel any better, the Ajghasti ceremony is not legal under Federation law anyway. So strictly speaking, we're not married after all." Relieved, she exhaled. "Thank heavens for that. I really hadn't wanted to get married like this." Q glanced to the side and she could tell he was trying to mask his hurt, so she leaned closer and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'd really rather marry you in a decent way, surrounded by friends and family and who knows. Maybe I can get the Captain convinced to perform the ceremony." By now Q was staring at her wide-eyed. "Unless you've had enough of married life after all, after just over three hours of it."

Q jumped up, pulling her with him and twirling her around as a laugh escaped him. "Oh, mon amour, you shouldn't have said that. Now I guarantee you won't get rid of me." Dizzy from the spinning, she clung to his arms and smiled up at him. She was sure the heat had darkened her cheeks, however, her eyes shone with joy where a few minutes ago there had been anger "That was the plan."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

@bigblissandlove1

[essektheylyss]

💕 and 💙 for the ask meme?

💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like?

I really think that Yussa and Essek could have a very funny fling as, like, Essek's rebound relationship down the line. I don't know if this is unpopular, because for a while it was a thing people joked about all the time, but also where did that energy go.

Actually I'm going to use this to get on a small soapbox but like, as a whole I think fandom has kind of moved away from making fanworks for non-canon ships when one or both characters are in a canon ship, but I do find it fairly difficult to write ship fic for non-canon ships in this fandom (and campaign 2) in particular because the canon ships are so well-established in their respective stories, so I really do feel the need to flesh out and justify why a different relationship is happening, and I don't think I'm alone in this in that most fic I've seen for even ships that have some canon basis do feel the need to do this! And some of the strongest fic I've seen for non-canon ships do actually put thought into this, so I don't think it's a bad thing at all, but I do sometimes feel like I should write more fic with less justification for ships that aren't canon. But it's so HARD to write even short fic for ships that aren't yet established cuz wdym I gotta do all the leg work here. If I wanted to do that I wouldn't be procrastinating on my editing.

💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?

Oh god, I have honestly so many answers to this question. The one that I think is most egregious is definitely Molly, but with the caveat that Kingsley is actually that hot because he gives less of a vibe that he needs people to think he's hot, which is the absolute least hot thing you can do.

[rookthorne]

...why hello there, my chaos kittens.

I’m about to post one of the most personal things I have ever posted beneath this cut, but I kind of feel like I need the closure and saying this may help me. there are talks of disability, negative headspace, and overall a sombre tone.

I know it’s not my normal content, but it just is what I’ve been feeling.

TLDR: I’m coming back after a long, unannounced and unplanned hiatus.

I've had quite a long time to stop and collect my thoughts about the future of my blog, and if I am honest with you all, I came very close to deleting. a lot of things went wrong in my life with my health, etc. and due to that, I was in a really dark spiral.

the past few months have been hell, to say the least.

thankfully I've had the best people to pull me out and hold me steady and keep me afloat until I got my feet underneath me. the days aren't always easy and my new diagnoses don't make it exactly a cake walk, but if it wasn't for my circle I wouldn't be here typing this. if I could give them the world I would, but they are my world.

a lot of things have changed for me in all aspects, and due to that I have decided that while it will be very different, I am coming back to writing and tumblr as a whole.

I miss the hobby that opened me up, and while it has been close to 3 months since I have been able to write, and I likely will not be posting any new fics for some time, I still miss where I made my home.

I honestly think a huge part of what went wrong and what sent me down that spiral was creative burnout. writing has been my escape consistently for the past 2 years, and while that is not a long time at all, with my disability (god, it's hard acknowledging that now) I can become extremely and extensively exhausted beyond what should be possible. I know I only have myself to blame in a way, but I learnt my lesson and from this point on I'm going to take it a lot easier on myself.

please be patient with me while I reacquaint myself with this and the fandom, I'm so far behind and in my isolation, I have lost a lot of confidence. the love for writing was torn away but I am slowly, slowly patching it back up and holding it close. to those that have reached out and to those that have and I haven't managed to get back to just yet, please know that your love and support has been what's carried me through this. I know I have neglected a lot, and I have possibly lost a lot too, but I will forever say that I am beyond grateful to those that have stuck with my dumbass. I am making every effort I can to reach out to those that I haven't replied to, but it is taking a lot of time to build the confidence to talk.

but for now, I look forward to catching up on what I have missed, and let's see what mischief we can get up to. 🩷

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 14 – AUTHOR WEEK

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: itsallAvengers

If you've been in this fandom for any amount of time, you probably already know that itsallAvengers is a gem. I've read their entire AO3 catalogue, and I loved each and every fic that's on it. Their writing is incredible, and I wouldn't be surprised to find out I've read some of their fics hundreds of times, especially the hurt/comfort-y ones.

Here's some of their work that I think you should check out:

Hold me, I'm yours

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 7,229 Tags: Fluff, Avengers Family, Marriage Proposal

Summary: Steve is a little touch starved, and Tony is more than happy to satiate him in any way that he can- much to the despair of the rest of the Avengers, who would just like to eat their cereal without having to watch mom and dad make out on the tabletop, thank you very much.

Reasons why I love it: Oh my god, they're SO CUTE, I can't! The rest of the Avengers despairing at them (and not so secretly being happy for them) is the best, and I absolutely love that ending, holy shit, Natasha is a queen. This fic is so happy and fluffy, and I really want you to experience it for yourself, so go ahead and read it!

Memory Lane

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 3,669 Tags: PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Steve

Summary: Suddenly, he's soaking - someone just threw a fucking water bomb or something, and it's not a big deal, it shouldn't be a big deal- But for some reason, it is.

Reasons why I love it: Steve taking care of his sweetheart, what else could we want? I really feel for Tony in this one, and I bet the entire team feels awful for what happened too, so I'm glad that he has Steve to be there for him. This fic is wonderful, and I hope you give it a read!

Talking Bodies

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 13,268 Tags: Misunderstandings, Insecure Steve, Oblivious Tony

Summary: Coincidentally, the physical effects of romantic and sexual desire match up very closely with the physical effects of fear. But it's not a problem-- it's not like anyone is going to be able to hear the way your heart speeds up, or see the minute dilation of your pupils, are they? They'd have to be some sort of Superhuman to do that. And what's worse than a Superhuman hearing that quick pulse and seeing those dilated eyes and concluding that you're in love with them? A Superhuman hearing that quick pulse and seeing those dilated eyes and thinking you're terrified of them.

Reasons why I love it: This is one of the most fun misunderstanding fics I've ever read. It feels so logical that Steve would come to the exact wrong conclusion, and of course they confront it in the most ass-backwards way possible. We love our idiots in love. This fic is fantastic, and I hope you check it out for yourself!

Going Steady

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 13,497 Tags: Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD

Summary: Steve has a soft spot for the sound of Tony's heart.

Reasons why I love it: I love how despite all of their flaws and their shared trauma in the past they still find a way to love each other wholeheartedly. This is one of the most beautiful takes on the Infinity War aftermath that I know, and a fantastic exploration of how they deal with their PTSD to boot. I adore every word of it, and I hope you give it a shot, if you haven't already!

'Til Death Do Us Part

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 15,612 Tags: Presumed Dead, Grief, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Steve goes on a mission. Steve dies on the mission. Or at least, SHIELD make everyone think he's died on the mission. In reality, he's alive and well, and still kicking ass. If only someone had let his husband know that.

Reasons why I love it: Oh god, poor Tony, he's going through a lot in this one. I love how Steve comes to the rescue though and how he deals with SHIELD afterwards. This fic hurts, but it makes up for it with lots and lots of comfort and fluff. I love it so much, and I bet you will too, so go ahead and give it a read if you haven't already!