#Buck is absolute gorgeous chaos in the best way

[221bsunsettowers]

Buck/Eddie: Now I’m Pacing Back and Forth, Wishing You Were at My Door (Fake Dating/Undercover AU)

Fandom: 9-1-1

Pairing: Buck/Eddie 

Summary: 

Fake Dating/Undercover AU requested by anonymous

No matter what he does, no message from Buck appears.

And Eddie understands he's spent less than a few hours with this man, that people wouldn't understand why there's this twisting aching tug inside his gut at the knowledge that Buck could be hurt, could even be dead, right now. That he might never get to have another moment with this beautiful, kind hearted, funny, complex man who kisses like he's got Eddie's heart in his hands and reads to Christopher like there's nowhere else in the world he'd rather be.

For Tropetember 2021, can be read on Ao3 here

CW:  a few uses of the f word, a very brief mention of sex trafficking with absolutely no details (one line in the newspaper Eddie reads)

"Look, I'm really sorry, but please go along with this, and you can absolutely tell me off later."

In that split second, Eddie realizes that the gorgeous guy at the bar, the one he hasn't been able to tear his gaze away from since he walked in two minutes ago, has seemingly magically appeared in front of him.

And he's kissing him.

Really kissing him. And he's really fucking good at it.

"Hey, babe," the guy says with a smile, pulling back just enough to run his hands through Eddie's hair (and isn't Eddie thrilled he was too tired from work to style his hair, making it so much easier for whoever the hell this is to really get his long surprisingly gentle fingers right up in there).

"Hey," Eddie manages to breathe out, pretty sure he's stuck in a state of total shock and awe here, and the mystery man chuckles, and Eddie's pretty sure that he spots a blush spreading right up to a birthmark that's just the perfect size to press his lips against-

Eddie makes a tight fist, hoping against hope that the sharp jolt of his fingernails digging right into his palm will snap him back to himself, and out of whatever world he's fallen into where all he can think about is dotting tender kisses across a stranger's beautiful face.

Mystery man backs up, looks sad suddenly, and that definitely doesn't help Eddie's desires to just kiss it and make it all better. "It would be great if you wouldn't hit me," the guy says softly, hands loose and open, "though I would get it if you did." And no, Eddie thinks, no absolutely not, he would never. He's always known that's not a good path to ever let himself go down, using his fists to solve something, but he can't ever imagine mixing violence with the man in front of him.

"I wouldn't," Eddie assures him, "never. I promise." The man looks relieved, then a smile spreads across his face, and he reaches a hand out, gently opens Eddie's closed fist and soothes the stinging nail marks with soft strokes from the tips of his fingers. Eddie feels callouses, and a small scar, but before he can process that information further, the man's other hand is latching onto Eddie's belt loop and tugging him in close again.

"There's two guys, both tall, one has black hair, one brown,"  the guy murmurs into Eddie's neck, his arms tight around Eddie's back, and Eddie can't help but lean into the touch, letting his own arms drape around this mystery man's waist. He can't honestly remember the last time someone held him quite like this, so even if it's a (gorgeous) stranger (with a tender touch) Eddie's going to let himself have this. "Brown haired guy has a big jagged scar running up his cheek, black hair's wearing a leather jacket with a red lightening bolt on both sleeves. Where are they in the bar?"

Turning his head slightly, Eddie spots the two men who fit the descriptions, over in the back by the pool table. He tells the mystery man as much, and feels a whoosh of relieved air against his neck before the man is pulling back again. "Pretty sure you just saved my life there," the man says, and behind his cocky grin Eddie swears he can see his lower lip trembling. "Thank you."

And with that, just as quickly as he appears, the man is gone. Eddie throws down a twenty and runs to the door, but there's no one there.

Eddie doesn't tell anyone about what happened. Definitely not his son, Christopher, when he gets home from spending time with his Abuela. And not any of his co workers at the store, definitely not. He can already hear Chimney saying he's been spending too much time in their thriller section (only Hen knows it's actually romance books Eddie sneaks behind the counter, and she promised not to tell anyone). And he especially doesn't want to admit just how much he's been thinking about his mystery man since that night.

So when said mystery man comes flying through the door of Eddie's bookstore and small cafe right before closing on Monday, Eddie is the only one who is both surprised and also secretly thrilled.

"Oh, no way!" the man calls out excitedly, grinning despite the blood dripping from the large slash on his left palm. "It's you!" (Okay, so the blood does definitely put a damper on things, Eddie thinks, though apparently not for the mystery man, who seems completely unfazed.)

Hurrying behind the counter in the cafe, Eddie grabs a towel and their first aid kit, guiding the man to the nearest overstuffed armchair.

"You going to introduce us, Eddie?" Hen asks, and Eddie knows he's in for it when he sees the gleeful looks she and Chimney are giving each other.

"I'm Evan, but everyone calls me Buck," the man says with a smile and a wave, Eddie tugging his injured hand back down with an exasperated huff of air. He's barely had a chance to even start cleaning out the wound when two more men burst in through the front door.

Eddie immediately recognizes them as the two men from the bar, jagged scar and red lightening bolt. Their body language screams "extras from a mob movie" at Eddie, and he moves in front of Buck before he even has time to think things through. "What the hell are you doing here?" Lightening Bolt growls in Buck's direction, and again, Eddie's only excuse is that the mystery man now known as Buck has overridden his common sense, because Eddie crosses his arms across his chest, and-

"He's visiting me, who the fuck are you?" Eddie spits back. Hen and Chimney are wide eyed, and Eddie can feel Buck tensing up at his back, ready to spring up at a moment's notice.

"We're pals of his, now who the fuck are you?" Lightening Bolt (apparently the better spoken of the two) growls, again, and Eddie is really getting fed up with this guy. Eddie takes a second, scrolls back through his memories in the bar (he barely has to, considering how many times he's replayed that kiss in his head), adds in some wishful thinking, and decides to go for broke here.

"I'm his boyfriend," Eddie asserts, and he can only hope that the three people behind him don't give the game away. Eddie takes a step forward, hoping to keep the attention on him and not whatever facial expressions he can only imagine Hen and Chim are unable to stifle (and he's afraid to know what look is on Buck's face). "This is my store, and I don't like your attitudes right now. I don't like anyone bothering my boyfriend."

"Didn't know Sam had a boyfriend," Jagged Scar says, and Eddie can see why he's kept quiet, his growl is far less impressive. Sam is certainly not the name Buck just gave him, but Eddie's already this far in, he might as well just keep going.

"Well he does, and I'd really like to spend some time with him, so you can show yourselves out," Eddie says calmly, and feels Buck put his (non-injured) hand on Eddie's waist, leaning into his side.

"Thanks, babe," Buck murmurs, nuzzling his face into Eddie's neck, laying a soft kiss behind Eddie's ear, and Eddie desperately wars against every single strand of his genetic code and emotional state to keep his face from turning beet red.

Jagged Scar looks at Lightening Bolt to find out their next move, clearly waiting for his cue. Lightening Bolt stares at Buck and Eddie for another minute, almost daring them to break and spill the beans, but when they simply stare back, Lightening Bolt heads for the door, Jagged Scar right on his heels.

"Make sure you tell your boyfriend you're busy tomorrow, Sam," Lightening Bolt calls back over his shoulder, before slamming the door closed. The second they are out of sight, Eddie feels the breath whoosh out of him, sitting down hard in the nearest chair and burying his face in his hands.

"Man, you were amazing!" Buck exclaims, grabbing Eddie by the shoulders and shaking him. "You are badass under pressure."

"Hen, Chim, you guys can leave early today," Eddie calls out from behind his hands, his tone leaving no room for argument. Chim utters a protest anyway, clearly wanting more details, but Eddie can only assume Hen has dragged him out because he can hear the door close and then silence.

"Are you okay?" Buck asks softly, his voice far more hesitant than Eddie has heard it.

"Have I gotten myself into something dangerous?" Eddie asks quietly, voice less muffled as he pulls his hands away from his face, but still stares down at the ground. He doesn't trust himself to meet Buck's eyes and thus completely override his preservation skills.

"These guys are simple," Buck promises, the sincerity in his voice drawing Eddie's gaze up again, despite his best efforts. "They wouldn't use anyone to get to me. They'd just get me."

"Okay," Eddie nods, then shakes his head vehemently. "No, wait, not okay. Are you in danger?"

"Can I sit?" Buck asks tentatively, and Eddie nods again, standing up and drawing a chair over. As soon as Buck sits down, Eddie takes hold of his injured hand again, opening a clean wipe and gently returning to cleaning out the wound.

"I can't really tell you anything, I'm really sorry." Buck's voice is so full of regret and loneliness it takes everything Eddie has in him not to leap across the table and take Buck into his arms. "What I can say is I promise you I'm not a criminal, I would never put you in any danger, and I'm doing the best I can to stay safe. It would have been a lot easier if I could have avoided those guys before they saw me, like you helped me do in the bar, but someone must have told them where to find me."

"I believe you," Eddie says simply, and the smile that springs up across Buck's face almost blinds Eddie, and he can't help smiling back. "Now is your name Buck or Sam? I have to know what to call my fake boyfriend."

"My first name's actually Evan," Buck answers almost sheepishly with a small shrug of his shoulders.. "But my last name is Buckley, so all my friends call me Buck. Sam, it's a...a temporary name." Trailing off, Buck peers down at the floor, like he's taking notes on the soft blue carpeting.

"Buck it is then," Eddie agrees with a soft smile, and Buck looks up again, the smile back on his face as well, and Eddie's heart can't take the fact that he's the one who made Buck feel happy again. So instead he focuses on carefully bandaging Buck's hand

"I heard your friends call you Eddie?" Buck asks shyly, looking up at Eddie through his long lashes, and yep, that's definitely doing it for Eddie too.

"They did," Eddie replies, lip between his bottom teeth as he examines his work before relunctantly releasing Buck's hand. Glancing back up, he meets Buck's gaze and smiles, nodding his head once. "And you can too."

"We're friends, huh?" Buck asks, and Eddie's pretty confident that is literal sunshine streaming out of Buck's smile.

"I won't be a fake boyfriend for just anyone, you know," Eddie banters back, cheeks tinging red in the warmth of Buck's soft grin.

"I hope not." Buck reaches his uninjured hand out and wraps his fingers lightly around Eddie's wrist. Eddie knows Buck must be able to feel how his pulse is racing, but he can feel that Buck's pulse isn't exactly steady either.

Then the shop door opens, and Christopher is there, grinning from ear to ear. Abuela leans in to give both Christopher and Eddie hugs and kisses goodbye, and to give Buck a very interested stare, and then she is back in her car and Christopher is in Eddie's arms, giving his own very interested stare at Buck.

"I'm Christopher," he says matter-of-factly, eyes twinkling mischeviously. "Did you know that Pluto is half as wide as the whole United States?"

"I'm Buck," Buck replies with a very similar mischevious twinkle to his own eyes. "Did you know black holes can burp up stars?"

"Cool!" Christopher is absolutely delighted, grabbing Buck's uninjured hand and tugging him towards the Astronomy section of the bookstore. Before Eddie knows it, Chris is on Buck's lap, Buck reading him a new book about the solar system, and Eddie is helpless to do anything but watch them fondly.

A shrill beep suddenly comes from Buck's left pocket, and he pulls out a phone, making a very disgruntled face as he stares at the screen. "I'm sorry, buddy," Buck tells Christopher softly, as he helps Christopher up before standing up himself. "I have to go."

"No, Bucky, stay!" Christopher pleads, turning his patented puppy dog eyes on an unsuspecting Buck, and from what Eddie can see it looks like Buck is two for two in winning the Diaz boys over simply by existing.

"I wish I could, Chris, but I'll come back as soon as I can," Buck promises, and Eddie is scrawling on a post it note before Buck can suddenly disappear again.

"Let me know you're safe, okay?" Eddie asks softly, holding the note with his phone number out to Buck. "Whatever is going on tomorrow that you can't tell me about, just please let me know you're okay, even if it's just a quick text."

"Yeah?" Buck whispers, gaze darting between the number and Eddie's face like he can't stop looking at either.

"Yeah, Buck." Eddie reaches over, gently squeezes the back of Buck's neck, and for just a second, Buck leans in, their foreheads lightly touching. Then Buck steps back, bending down to return Chris' hug, waving as he steps out the door.

Tomorrow comes, and Eddie can't help checking his phone. And checking it. And checking it again. No message from Buck.

Eddie makes sure the battery is still charged, the volume is turned all the way up, the ringtone is set to the most blaring noise he can find, the wifi and the data are both in working order.

Nothing.

No matter what he does, no message from Buck appears.

And Eddie understands he's spent less than a few hours with this man, that people wouldn't understand why there's this twisting aching tug inside his gut at the knowledge that Buck could be hurt, could even be dead, right now. That he might never get to have another moment with this beautiful, kind hearted, funny, complex man who kisses like he's got Eddie's heart in his hands and reads to Christopher like there's nowhere else in the world he'd rather be.

Christopher's been asking all day when they can see Buck again, and Eddie doesn't even know if they ever will be able to see Buck again. He tells Christopher he's not sure, and his son looks as heartbroken as Eddie feels, and after a night of no sleep and gutwrenching nightmares, Eddie grabs the first newspaper he sees Thursday morning and pours through it.

Overnight, there's been more violence than Eddie can even try to fathom, and so it's not until the third page that he finds what he's looking for. Evan Buckley, detective with the LAPD, successfully disbanded a sex trafficking ring that had been operating out of a small local pier. The officer will be awarded a medal for his valor. The article doesn't say which station Buck works out of, so Eddie drops Chris off at school, giving his son his solemn vow that he will get Buck to visit the second he finds him. He calls Hen and Chim, tells them he won't be in until later.

It's the fifth station Eddie tries.

He's got a routine down by now, hurrying into the station and heading towards the first person he sees.

"Hi, excuse me, does Evan Buckley work here?" Eddie asks, heart dropping as the woman shrugs, but then an older man walks up behind her and approaches Eddie.

"Captain Bobby Nash," the man says, extending a hand which Eddie shakes, most likely far too enthusiastically, but Eddie's long past caring about what anyone who isn't Buck thinks about him. "Can I ask why you're looking for this officer?"

"He...we..." Eddie takes a deep breath, tries to steady himself. "This might sound crazy, but we met for like two minutes, then we met again at my bookstore, and I bandaged his hand, and he made my son laugh, and I really like him, and I promised Chris I wouldn't come back without him, so here I am." He shrugs at the end of his speech, because honestly, what else can he do at this point?

"You must be Eddie," the captain says with a smile, and then Eddie's being led past the entryway and through a sea of desks and ringing phones, until there he is.

Buck.

Looking exhausted, a bandage on his forehead, another just showing over the top of his Henley, but there, alive, breathing, and about a foot away.

"Buck!" Eddie calls out, voice loud and relieved grin huge, and he will admit to no one but Buck himself that he is actually blinking back tears as he closes the gap. Buck is just rising to his feet, eyes widened in surprise, mouth curling into a matching grin when Eddie reaches him and pulls him in by the back of his shirt, clutching tightly to the stretched taut fabric as he wraps the younger man in his arms.

He feels Buck melt into his arms, moves one hand to cup the back of Buck's neck, presses a kiss to Buck's temple when the typically taller man curls his face into the crook of Eddie's shoulder.

Eddie can't begin to imagine how heavy this job must feel sometimes, what it must have taken out of Buck to pretend he was the same as men who would sell people to the highest bidders. So he takes on whatever weight Buck is able to let slide off his shoulders.

"Fuck, I was so worried," Eddie breathes out, "When we didn't hear from you, I thought...god, Buck, are you okay?" Pulling back slightly, Eddie turns his medic eyes on Buck, gaze sweeping over the banadages, a gentle touch ghosting across Buck's forehead as he lightly taps Buck's chin up, checking for any visible concussion symptoms.

"Cap made me get checked at the hospital, promise," Buck says, blushing under Eddie's scrutinity. "I'm sorry I didn't let you know, I just..." Dropping his head, Buck mumbles, "Wasn't sure if you meant it."

"If I meant it when I said I wanted to know you were safe?" Eddie asks, first utter disbelief and then complete warmth tinging his tone. Buck nods, eyes still on the ground, and Eddie swoops right back in, tucking Buck back into his arms. "Of course I did. Every word. Chris won't let me back into the house unless I've got you with me."

"Really?" Buck tilts his head up, arms now around Eddie's waist, and Eddie nods and smiles, and Buck smiles back.

"You make quite the impression," Eddie teases gently, and then lets his hands slide up to cup Buck's face, and leans in. Buck meets him halfway, their lips press together, soft, tender, once, then twice, then again before Buck lets out a pleased little sigh and Eddie grins fondly, resting their foreheads together.

"Captain Nash, can I borrow Detective Buckley?" Eddie asks, eyes twinkling, and he hears the captain laugh, feels the clap of a hand on his shoulder.

"Please," Captain Nash responds kindly, "I've been trying to get him to leave, but he just keeps insisting he has more work to do."

"I could take a break," Buck offers up shyly, and Eddie nods enthusiastically, bringing another laugh out of the captain.

"Finally use up some of that time off, that's an order!" Captain Nash calls after them, as Buck practically hop skips his way out the door, grin broad as he looks down at his and Eddie's intertwined fingers.

[rebeccccccaaa]

ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴀ ʟᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴄʟᴏsᴇ

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ғʀᴀᴛ ʙᴏʏ!sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: you and steve hooked up once and neither of you can forget that night

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: smut 18+ minors dni plz, kinda rough? but of course major fluffy aftercare from soft boi stevie, bit of inexperienced reader and insecure reader

(accidentally written unprotected sex but this is fanfiction lmao plz be safe irl)

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: ive never participated in a challenge before and i think @honeysucklesteve is just the sweetest so hope you like it el! And congrats on 4k :T

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“And the interesting thing about that, mind I add…” the words of your professor falling short because you can’t shake the feeling of his eyes looking at you.

You kept your head low fighting the urge within you not to look back. A couple nights ago you landed yourself in the bed of the infamous frat president Steve Rogers and to make matters worse, you both major in American Studies meaning you share all of your classes.

You didn’t have much experience with guys in high school so it wasn’t surprising when you had the same experience in college. What was surprising was the fact you spent a night in the arms of one of the most handsome men you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Steve Rogers was a huge catch. Teachers loved him, girls chased him,and guys wanted to be him.

You remember that night so vividly.

The way his hands fit so perfectly on your hips. The way his lips felt so hot against your own burning skin; and moved perfectly against yours. The things he whispered in your ear. They way he held you close when you fell asleep in his arms. The way you hated yourself the next morning when you snuck out. The way your tummy flutters simply because he’s looking at you right now.

You breathed out shakily before turning your head to find his eyes with yours; he looked away the moment you did shyly, very unlike him. Fuck he was gonna be the death of you.

“And that should be the end of the lecture. I’m gonna go ahead let you guys go a little early. Have a good weekend everyone and make sure to check your emails,” the professor gathered his things and left.

You packed your things quickly trying your best to avoid his gaze that you knew was still on you. Steve packed quickly too before walking hot on your tail, just about to call your name until…

“Hey, Y/n,” Bucky called out.

“Oh, hey Buck.”

“It’s the weekend and as usual the guys and I want to party tonight. But the dean said one more noise complaint about our house and we get on academic probation so we’re asking a couple of people who might wanna come to the club with us.”

Behind Bucky you could see Steve walking towards you two and your stomach sank. Bucky and Steve were best friends and you don’t know if Steve told him that you guys slept together last weekend. What if something happens again tonight if you say yes. Why are you even thinking that something could happen again? Steve Rogers is way out of your league it was a miracle that you landed a chance to be his bed warmer in the first place.

“I’ll see you for lunch, man,” Steve said to Bucky patting his best friend's shoulders. His eyes lingering with yours until you had to pull away.

“I don’t think I should,” you told him, walking towards the door.

“Come on, Nat told me you're quite the party animal and you left early last week I didn’t get to see you in action,” Bucky chuckled, walking with you. You didn’t leave early…

“Buck,” you looked at him.

“Please?” he asked. You exhaled sharply rolling your eyes before walking away to your next class.

“Is that a yes?” he shouted, making you turn around with a cheeky grin. You got to your next class and noticed Steve sitting in a new seat today, particularly the one next to the seat you usually sit in. None of his housemates or regular friends took this specific lecture so he usually sat in the very back corner alone. But today here he is.

His head snapped up when you entered the room. You hesitantly sat down next to him still avoiding his eyes. You set up your laptop on the small table as did Steve; both your eyes glancing at each other quite awkwardly until Steve finally interrupts the silence.

“You coming tonight?” he whispered.

“What’s in it for me if I do?” you said playfully.

“A repeat of the best night you’ve ever had,” he said cheekily.

“Oh, really,” you chuckled sarcastically as he nodded with an overly proud smirk.

“Probably not,” you answer his question.

“Seriously? Why not? I can pick you up,” he said.

“Steve,” you warned.

“What? Afraid you won’t be able to resist me?”

“You’re so full of it,” you said, making you both laugh.

“You were full of my dick last week,” he whispered.

“Steve!” you punched his side making him laugh hard enough for other students to take notice of your ruckus.

“Welcome class, we’ll begin the lecture in one minute. I’m just gonna pull it up on the projector,” the professor said rushing in.

“Please come tonight,” he whispered.

“Why are you obsessed with me?” you joked.

“Fuck off,” he chuckled.

“If I say ok, will you shut up for the rest of the lecture?”

“Maybe,” he grinned.

“Then maybe I’ll come,” you smirked.

Throughout the lecture Steve paid absolutely no attention whatsoever. Steve had been thinking about that night just as much as you had. The way your neck craned to the side a bit, reminding him of when he littered marks and bruises all over last week. The way you subtly bit your lip in concentration but all that clouded his mind was lust remembering how you looked so pretty from above when he was settled between your legs.

He wanted you again so badly. He wasn't going to lie, it sort of hurt him when he woke up and you weren't there. He thought maybe there was something between you two, god knows the tension was overwhelming that night. You weren't the most frisky woman he'd been with but you were sweet; slight innocence with your intimacy. He craved you.

Steve leaned towards you, his fingers twiddling with yours. You tried your best to ignore his advances despite how much you equally craved him. He ran his nose along your cheek and jaw and your breathing quickened inhumanly.

"What are you doing?" you whispered.

"Nothing, just relax," he responded. As much as he wanted to drag you out of class and fuck you so good, he knew you'd rip him a new one if he did. No matter how he'd make you feel.

"No, we're in the middle of a lecture," you argued.

"I'm not doing anything," he said humorously, you were not humored though.

"Steve," you scolded when he pressed a faint kiss under your ear.

You knew a guy like Steve was horny practically twenty-four seven, but you didn't take him to be quite clingy. Especially with someone like you. His arm wrapped under yours. His other resting on your thigh. His head tucked in the crook of your neck. It wasn't particularly sexual, but it was intimate. Something normal to couples, and you two were not a couple.

"Please come tonight," he whispered, “If not I’ll come over.”

"Ugh fine," you grunted, your voice breaking into a giggle because you did somewhat enjoy this unfamiliar attention.

Steve continued to sit next to you during the rest of your classes for the day absent mindedly teasing you, playing with your fingers, twirling your hair between his fingers, leaning his head on your shoulder while he held your hand. Like geez, take a girl out already.

By the time you got back to your shared apartment with two of your closest friends you felt conflicted. Why the sudden shift in Steve? You two weren't exactly best friends before, just two people who shared classes and accidentally slept with each during a drunken night at a frat party.

"Hey, everything ok?" Wanda asked you noticing your inner battle.

"Uh, yeah. Kinda. No," you said defeatedly making the girls chuckle.

"What happened?" Nat asked.

"That guy, that I… you know."

"Fucked?"

"Nat!" you said embarrassed.

"Go on," Wanda encouraged.

"Well, I never told you guys but the guy was Steve," you said shyly.

"What!" the girls exclaimed simultaneously.

"You're lying," Nat laughed.

"You really went from zero to a hundred," Wanda giggled.

"Guys stop," you whined.

"All day today, he's been like super clingy. Holding my hand and pretending he's like my boyfriend."

"Wait, I thought you liked him?" Nat asked, confused.

"I mean I do, but it's sudden and I'm pretty sure it's only because he wants to get in my pants again, you know?" you rationed.

"Awe, I don't think that's true. I've known Steve for a bit and yeah he sleeps around sometimes but he's not a giant dick. Doing that would be way too shallow, especially for Steve," Nat said.

“Yeah but don’t you think it’s weird?” you asked.

“Look did Bucky ask you about tonight?” Nat asked.

“Yeah, he did- how do you know that?” you asked, confused.

“Oh- Uh,” Nat paused.

“She asked Buck to invite you,” Wanda snickered.

“Why?” you asked.

“Well, you never go out with us and the last time you did we thought you just went home but apparently you were getting laid,” Nat cackled.

“Oh my- shut up,” you huffed before storming off to your room.

“Wait! Can you at least come with us tonight?” Wanda followed you.

“No,” you giggled.

“Please!” both girls said at the same time. As you closed your door with a grin on your face not responding.

Hours later you laid on your bed lowly listening to the soft rumbling chaos from your comedic roommates. You stayed in your not so sexy undergarments and not so sexy sweatpants along with a hoodie you stole from your brother before you moved.

You ate the junk you’ve stocked up on the past few weeks feeling a bit glum. It’s not that you didn’t necessarily want to go, you would love to spend another night in that gorgeous man’s arms but there’s absolutely no way Steve is gonna want you the way you’d like him too. Not sober.

There was a subtle knock on your door and you called out knowing the girls were probably ready to leave.

"How do we look?" Nat asked, walking into your room with Wanda.

"Wow, you guys look hot," you said sitting up.

"You think Vis would like this or is it too much?" Wanda asked sheepishly, she's had a crush on the foreign exchange student Vis for the longest time and had yet to make a move.

"I think someone's gonna have a lucky night," you wiggled your brows suggestively, making her roll her eyes and blush.

"What about you, still chasing Bryce?" you turned to Nat looked extra sexy tonight.

"His name is Bruce," she rolled her eyes.

"And yes, I am," she chuckled.

"You're so weird," you giggled, Bruce didn't seem to particularly be Nat's type but hey, no judgement.

"I heard he's got like a monster cock," you said.

"Shut up," she pushed you playfully.

“It’s always the nerds,” Wanda giggled.

"Anyways, are you sure you don't want to come?" Wanda asked sincerely.

"I'm sure," you smiled.

"Steve's gonna miss you," Nat teased.

"Yeah, I doubt that."

"Well, stay safe, cutie," the girls waved heading to the Uber that waited outside for them.

"You too!"

You sighed before grabbing more snacks to stuff your face with. A couple hours went by of sitting around watching nonsense on TV for a bit. You ate dinner that was far from fine dining but it was available before slouching on your bed until the late hours of the night.

You were practically falling asleep, tired and dry eyes glued to the screen of your small TV when you got a knock at the front door. You check the clock by your bed wondering if maybe either of the girls left their keys, but it wasn’t even midnight yet.

You clutched your phone walking hastily to the front door as quietly as possible creeping up to the peehole to see who would be your unexpected guest.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you swung the door open.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Steve retorted.

“My jamas,” you rolled eyes stepping to side to let him in.

“Seriously what are you doing here?”

“I told you earlier, you didn’t come tonight so I came to you,” he said, taking his jacket off.

“Seriously?” you tried not to smile, but the action gave you butterflies.

“You promised to come. I missed you,” he said walking up to you.

“You’re so full of shit,” you giggled, staring at his devilishly handsome grin.

“Come on, whatcha doing?” he said, grabbing your hand and taking you to the room. You three had a fairly small apartment and your light was obviously the only one on in the whole apartment making it easy for him.

“Well, before you rudely invaded my home, I was stuffing my face with all kinds of junk watching TV,” you said to him making him scowl playfully at you.

“Well, then let’s finish the rest of your junk food then,” he said laying on your bed. You still couldn’t wrap your head around the sudden shift in attention. Steve was a guy who could have anyone and he’s chasing you for some reason.

You weren’t a blonde bombshell with a perfect hourglass figure that made guys want you left and right. You had flaws that drew people away and you don’t think Steve remembers that night like you do. What if he hates your body? What if he thinks you're annoying and suddenly leaves?

“Everything alright?” Steve asked you.

“Uh, sorta,” you answered honestly.

“Come here, talk to me,” he said, opening his arms. You couldn't help your eyes narrowing at him.

“What?”

“Do you even remember anything from that night?” you whispered.

“Where’s this coming from?” he asked.

“Steve, come on,” you chuckled.

“What?”

“Do you just wanna fuck now? Make it quick so you can go back to the party-”

“Woah, who said anything about fucking?” he stood up towering over you making you suddenly feel really small and shy.

“I mean that’s why you’re here, right?”

“I came because I told you if you didn't go out with us that I was gonna hang with you. I didn’t say anything about sleeping with you. If you really want I can go home but I wanted to hang out with you,” he said sincerely.

“Oh, I- uh,” you stuttered; well now you feel like a dick.

“We can just sit and keep watching TV until you want to go to sleep and I can head out,” he said, sitting back down on your bed. You sat beside him carefully watching his movements. He kept his eyes trained on the TV for a bit before locking his eyes with yours. You turned away quickly hearing him chuckle before sudden movement escalated behind.

Steve grabbed you from behind gently and leaned back so you laid on his chest. You could feel the hard plains of muscles on your back. And the way his strong wrapped perfectly around your waist, it felt heavenly.

Steve’s jaw tightened from the hypnotizing scent of your shampoo. He remembered it from that night not long ago and he couldn’t get it out of his head.

He wasn't going to lie, since that night all he could think about was how smooth your skin was under his fingertips. How pretty you sounded when he was settled between your legs. How good it felt when your fingers carded through his hair. He wanted you so bad.

He wanted to wake you up between your thighs again. Ravish you once more before breakfast, hell eat you for breakfast. But when you weren't there sleeping as peacefully beside him like the night before, his heart tugged. Did he say something wrong? Did he do something wrong? What if he hurt you?

He gave you space, clearly evident you hadn't wanted to talk to him but those few days went by and the same lingering stares and shy glances came back again and he craved you in his arms again.

When Nat asked him and Bucky to invite you again out to party, he really wanted to be with you that night even if you didn't end the night naked in each other's arms, just being around you was enough for him. Fortunately here he is with you, with arms wrapped around your waist and Steve couldn’t be happier.

You looked so fucking adorable to wearing sweats and a hoodie; he wishes it was one of his own. You had fluffy socks on too that had dog faces on them and he swears his heart melted. What you two were watching was making you laugh and each chuckle or giggle that came from you was like music to his ears.

He couldn’t help himself when his lips pressed against the top of your head. Your body momentarily froze before relaxing again in his arms. Your arms laid over his and tightened so you could cuddle into him even more. Your eyes felt heavy and the feeling of Steve’s lips slowly reaching your neck didn’t help you want to sleep.

When his cool lips grazed your burning skin, you could feel your skin burst into chills. You practically shuddered in his arms and your face grew hot when you did. It all becomes suddenly overwhelming and you jump off on his lap turning to him with a distressed expression.

“What happened? Did I do something wrong?” Steve said worriedly.

“You did just want to sleep with me,” you mumbled tears forming in your eyes.

“What! No, that’s not it,” he panicked; using you was the last thing he wanted you to think he was doing, and wanted in general.

“Then what’s going with you? Ever since we fucked you’re suddenly attached to me, putting your hands all over me, pretending like you're my boyfriend! And I don’t understand why,” you said frustrated.

“I feel like your just using me or something-”

“That is the last thing I want,” he interrupted, his voice low.

“Then why are you doing this; Steve you could have anybody and for some fucking sick reason you keeping mocking me. Making me think I have a chance.”

“And you don’t think you do?” he asked, heart broken, making you scoff and turn away.

“Look, fine I’ll admit that maybe before that night I wouldn’t have made a move; but I’m gonna admit that I haven’t not felt something for you before,” he said, getting closer to you.

“What?”

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since we met. And that night didn’t do shit to help me get over you,” he chuckled.

You crawled to him carefully looking into his eyes for any sign that he was being untruthful; you cupped his face gently.

“Are you drunk?” you whispered.

“Not one bit.”

You pressed your lips to his feverishly and Steve nearly moaned at the feeling. His hands grasped your waist firmly pulling you to sit comfortably on his lap. His hands crept under your hoodie holding you close.

Your hands rested on his broad shoulders holding yourself up as slowly leaned back onto your pillows. Your cold hands cupped his face as you deepened the kiss and his hand went to rest on your bottom.

With this new found position, his chest pressed against yours, his hips grinded up allowing you to feel all of him. Every pushing second you grew needier and whiny, practically clawing at his shirt to feel his skin.

"So needy already. And I've hardly touched you," he chuckled lowly in your ear.

He sat up nonetheless and stripped his shirt revealing his gorgeous physique that kept you up at night and infiltrated your dirtiest dreams. You brushed your hands all over his chest with your bottom lip between your teeth; Steve smirking slightly proud of the effect he had on you simply by having his shirt off.

"Come on, pretty girl. I wanna see you too," he's whispered before kissing you softly.

"Wait, I don't…" you didn't particularly feel very sexy and instantly became insecure about your body compared to Steve's.

"It's ok, we can cuddle," he smiled.

"Well, if I'm being honest I do want you. It's just, I just ate all this junk food and I'm not wearing anything sexy. I didn't shave and-"

"Hey, I don't care. You don't need to impress me or wear anything special for me. I just want you to look pretty sitting on my face and make pretty sounds telling me how I'm gonna make you feel."

Your body trembled at his words, arousal instantly flooding from you. His nose brushed against your cheek dragging along to your jawline before pressing kisses gingerly to your jaw and neck. His hands slowly lifted your hoodie and you raised your hands letting him remove your hoodie.

Your shoulders caved in out of habit, being topless in front of handsome men wasn't normally on your schedule; but the look in Steve's eyes, the look on his face holding a hungry and adorning expression made you more comfortable, reaching out to cup his face kissing him deeply.

You sighed breathlessly into the kiss as Steve's hands rubbed your sides. You pulled away momentarily only to put your lips on Steve's neck. Steve felt himself growing harder and needier to see you, feel you, pleasure you.

"Pretty girl, I need you. Lemme taste you, please," he whined.

He picked you up and laid down on your back to pull your sweatpants down your legs. You lifted your hips for him and he smiled cheekily at you biting his lip. Steve lifted your leg kissing the inside of your calf staring at with those hungry eyes.

"I still wanna see you sitting on my face, pretty girl," Steve said, pulling to him.

"Are you sure? I don't wanna crush you or anything," you whispered, making Steve chuckle.

Steve laid down assuring you that he wanted this and grabbed your hand helping you straddle his face. When you did Steve kissed the inside of your thighs playfully nipping and marking the sensitive skin making you gasp.

Steve wrapped his hands around your thighs bringing your center impossibly close to him, finally licking a long and wet stripe up your slit. Your moans were soft at first but when Steve started circling his tongue around your clit, you could help getting louder and bucking your hips grinding on his face.

Steve’s eyes were close relishing in your sex. You combed your fingers through his hair and Steve moaned loudly against your pussy. He dipped his tongue past your folds and that along with the vibrations from his beautiful moans, you head threw back moaning in pure ecstasy, moaning so loud your neighbors were definitely going to file a complaint.

“Fuck, Steve. Your mouth feels so good; shit!” you whined.

His tongue circled your clit again quicker this time and you bucked your hips, tightening your stomach and squeezing your legs as you approached your high. Steve kneaded the soft flesh of your ass lapping up everything you gave him.

Steve crawled from under you as you held onto the headboard, still standing on your knees, trying to catch your breath. Steve came up behind you rubbing your hips softly, kissing the back of your neck softly. He quickly rid the remaining of his clothes he still wore, his painfully hard cock slapping against his stomach desperate for some sort of attention.

You breathe softly, hyper focused on the cum that slipped down your inner thighs. Your legs lightly trembled from just his mouth you couldn’t wait to feel what his cock would feel like, filling you up like it was only a week ago. Steve sat beside you looking at you with a soft smile on his face, his hand softly rubbing the back of your legs and your bottom too.

He reached around to grab your hip and slowly turned you around settling you between his legs; your back pressed against his chest as it was only moments before, more innocently than now. His lips sucked and kissed your neck as his hands cupped and kneaded the soft flesh of your breasts.

Your hands rested over his own and your hips squirmed a bit for eagerness. The low growl from Steve because your hips grinded against his cock was incredibly arousing.

“Such an eager little slut ain't cha’,” he grabbed your hair.

“Fuck,” you mumbled as he pushed you forward on your hands and knees.

“Want me to fuck you? Remind you how I felt buried so fucking deep inside you? God, I think about you every fucking night; how perfect you were wrapped around me, how beautiful you sounded underneath me,” he whispered huskily in your ear making you shudder.

“Stevie, please,” you whimpered.

His hands rubbed up and down your back as he chuckled darkly.

“Oh, I’ve been waiting to take care of you again, pretty girl,” he kissed your back softly.

He wrapped his hand around his cock slowly and languidly pumping it. He couldn’t help but tease slightly circled his tip along your entrance pulling desperate whines from you. He finally reached his own breaking point, unable to stand not being able to feel you so he pushed his hips forward moaning loudly at how tight you felt around him.

“So good, pretty girl,” he moaned.

“Fuck, Stevie. Filling me up so good; you’re so big,” you sighed.

“Damn right, pretty girl. Taking my cock so well. Fucking made for me,” he grunted.

His snapped in and out increasingly quicker with each thrust; the vulgar sounds of his movements and skin slapping against each other echoed loudly in the room. Harmonizing with both your pleasurable moans.

Chasing both your releases, Steve’s hips jerked rougher and harder in and out of you making you practically shriek at the feeling. He leaned forward wrapping his hand around your throat before pulling you flush against his chest.

“Such pretty baby,” he bit your ear.

“Fuck! Stevie I need to come,” you whined.

“Yeah, you want to come all over my cock? Make a fucking mess?” he growled.

“Please!”

“Hold on, pretty girl. I’m almost there,” he sighed, throwing his head back and closing his eyes in pleasure.

You whined and whimpered, tears brimming your eyes from that overwhelming feeling. You couldn’t help but clench hard around his cock desperately holding back for your release.

“Fuck, do that again, pretty girl,” Steve gasped.

“God, yes. I’m close, pretty girl. You ready to come?” he pulled your head back to look at your face.

Tears fell inelegantly down your cheeks, sweat lined your forehead, your chest moved rapidly up and down; to Steve, you looked ethereal.

“Please,” you whimpered.

“Let go, pretty girl. I gotcha,” he whispered against your lips.

Your eyes rolled back as your body shook against Steve’s, releasing onto his dick profoundly. Steve swallowed your louds moans, roughly pressing his lips to yours, moaning himself. You clenched hard around Steve one last time feeling his throbbing cock shoot hot ribbons of cum, coating your walls.

When you eased your way slowly down from your high, Steve laid you down gently pulling out to see his cum mixed with yours spilling from you. You looked so fucked out breathing heavily, whimpering at the loss of Steve inside you. He wanted to, but held back from taking you again. But not wanting to hurt you, he treaded towards the bathroom and turned on the water to run you two a hot bath. He picked you up gently pressing kisses all over your face and neck before planting one delicious kiss on your lips; your hands reaching around his neck to deepen it if that was even possible.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, coating your arms with soap to wash you. You laid against him with your eyes closed desperately trying not to fall asleep in his arms.

“I didn’t hurt you?” he asked softly.

“Mh-m,” you shook your head slightly with a blissful smile on your face.

���Good,” he wrapped his arms around you tightly, kissing you passionately.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, barely audibly.

“For coming to hang out with me tonight,” you chuckled. Your eyes felt too heavy, simply remembering the way he carried you carefully back to your bed and held for the rest of the night.

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)

@mathletemadison​

@buckybarnes101​

@l-sofiamia-l

@pluto-grl

@partr1dge

@stefans-wife

@cordeliaswhore

@fleurlovesbucky

@wandanatasha0720

[leia-imogen]

aaron & the family he's found all by himself; vol. 2 // vol. 1

( ft. short jokes, a belated birthday shopping trip, & an ultra-chaotic winter break )

( for @criswisstuff & anyone who enjoyed the first one <3 )

savannah, who is 5'9, is constantly teasing aaron and cleo for being short. katelyn's good at 5'6, and also a bit impossible to tease bcs she's the actual best, so she gets to escape this

cleo ( 5'2 ) is perfectly delighted to have someone shorter than her for once in her life, even by only 2 inches

aaron: guys, just try and see this from my point of view

sav: [ collapses ]

katelyn: [ crouches down ]

cleo: [ sits cross-legged on floor ]

aaron: dude you're literally 2 inches taller than me

cleo: 2 and a quarter

sav is so smug about this but in a good-natured way, in that she and cleo call aaron "kid" or "kiddo" or "pipsqueak" and he doesn't mind bcs they always say it w such a huge smile and he likes to respond to sav with "how's the weather up there, tall-ass?"

and katelyn thinks it's ridiculously adorable how tiny aaron is and obviously she uses him as an armrest all the time

katelyn, petting aaron's hair: guys guys omg he's like an angsty mini blond kitten and i would kill for him <3

sav, popping up between them: mini-yard :))

before i get super distracted, i just wanna mention that aaron met sav and cleo towards the end of november, so they missed the twin's birthday

but sav still insists that she must take him shopping bcs sure his fashion sense is fine but there's always room for improvement, isn't there, aaron??

he relents, so long as she and cleo and katelyn ( who already gave him a birthday present?? why's she doing this??? ) don't spend too much money

sav drags him all around south carolina to the best thrift stores she can find and cleo and katelyn are amazed that she can get such fantastic deals on the supermodel clothes she wears

fr she's literally a fashion design major ( + minoring in business management ) and she shows up to class in skilfully done drugstore makeup and an absolutely killer outfit for like 15 bucks

she grew up poor, and she's still poor now, even if she ( thankfully ) managed to scrape a cheerleading scholarship

sav, flicking through a rack of dresses labelled $4 apiece: RIP to little miss rich bitch reynolds but i'm different ;)

no hate to allison she's awesome but she grew up in the lap of luxury surrounded by designer brands so she knows NOTHING about thrifting and rationing money in general

oh and sav and allison have kind of a frenemies thing going on bcs they're both fighting for the top spot of their fashion design course

they spend the whole day shopping and aaron ends up with a highly upgraded wardrobe that contains a lot of cute pastel stuff and sav's promise to do his makeup

aaron insists on paying for dinner at the really nice pizza place a short drive from campus even tho they all protest

and andrew knows he's found new friends, but has no idea that it's the vixens and he's dating one of them. nicky does tho, but he's sworn to secrecy

nicky thinks his new clothes are adorable and is stunned when aaron tells him the total cost

"oh my GOD that girl sounds like a genius."

"yeah, her name's sav. you guys,, would get along, i think."

okay now for the winter break part!!

i think that you can get permission to stay at dorms if you're an international student or something??

anyways since sav's super upset bcs her father straight-up told her not to come home bcs he has a new girlfriend ( god i hate sav's father )

katelyn would stay with her, but her dad can finally have her home in new york for christmas and she really doesn't want to miss it

cleo, the only one with a properly functional family, is going back to her big family house and loving parents and grandma and aunt and siblings and cousins. love that for her.

so aaron and sav are stuck at psu for 2 weeks and aaron's surprisingly cool with this. and sav's excited bcs for the first time since her mom died, she can spend her christmas with someone she actually wants around instead of her shitty-ass father and his constant stream of bitchy girlfriends

they spend a lot of time together, stealing food from the athlete's dining hall to make their own weird combos, which usually ends with aaron making something Cool and Interesting and sav gagging and spitting out whatever strange concoction she had previously insisted would taste good

i literally can't bring myself to give a shit about the twinyards' deal bcs andrew literally became best friends with renee?? and hooks up with guys at eden’s??? idk what's going on there but it's like andrew is trying to control aaron's life while he can do whatever he wants??? and honestly wtf????

also let me just make it clear that i ADORE andrew so so much he's one of my favourite comfort characters ever but i'm not gonna make excuses for his shitty behaviour. i fully believe he heals and puts away his pride to apologise to aaron, nicky, and kevin for his treatment of them

that's definitely not to say that aaron's internalised homophobia isn't eww, but with so many important people in his life gay, he makes a huge effort to get over it

so andrew just thinks that aaron is spending a lot of time in the library or out with nicky or something

and when aaron tells sav about this deal, she's kinda horrified, but it's pretty clear to her that aaron so desperately wants to fix his relationship with his brother, and she's not in any place to discourage him, is she?

the only thing she can do is hope that he won't come out all the worse for it

and stare at the boy curled up on the other end of the pale pink sofa cleo's parents had gotten, wonder just how much shit he'd been put through, and decide she was going to be his best friend

aaron's face has gone entirely impassive. sav nudges his fluffy-socked foot with her own, then reaches out to smooth the crease between his eyebrows. "careful, you'll wrinkle your pretty little face."

aaron is very caught off guard by this, and very promptly flushes bright red, which contrasts with the pale teal hoodie he stole from katelyn

"okay, enough talk about depressing crap. wanna go make christmas cookies now?"

"yeah."

so they make christmas cookies. well, it was supposed to be christmas cookies, but it turns into double chocolate fudge cookies somewhere along the line. neither of them knows how

them baking together is the definition of chaos. they're still blasting songs, and sav is singing along terribly

"yOu'Re A mEaN oNe, Mr. GrInCh," while poking aaron's cheek as he tries to mix something. he throws a handful of flour at her. "yOu ReAlLy ArE A hEel."

anyways obviously sav retaliates and that ends in a flour fight. it only stops when aaron deadass cracks an egg on sav's head and she smears chocolate into his hair

she also tries to make him sing along to baby, it's cold outside

"i'Ve GoT tO Go `wAAyyy~" she holds a spatula up to his face

"go away."

they video call katelyn, who takes one look at the mess in the cramped dorm kitchen and sighs so loudly and dramatically that her dad pops in and asks if everything's okay

aaron freezes up at the sight of him and sav quickly turns off the camera, bcs they both want to make good impressions on him, and being covered in various cookie ingredients just won't cut it, ya know?

the cookies turn out delicious and sav sends all their group chat various photos of the process, most of which consist of selfies with her making goofy faces while aaron is simultaneously baking and flipping off the camera

plus a several videos of sav enthusiastically dancing and mouthing the lyrics of, as follows, all i want for christmas is you, let it snow, and santa claus is coming to town and aggressively pointing a spatula at aaron

"c'mon aari, just sing! please??? please???? please you can do it i believe in you!!"

finally he just. gives up. "okay, you know what? fine, i'll sing to ONE and then you will STOP bothering me you insolent dumbass."

sav beams. santa baby starts playing. aaron is very clearly going through five stages of grief in 0.5 seconds

"go on," sav says sweetly as she slides in next to a pouting aaron, "i'll sing with you."

sav slings an arm around his shoulder and sways with him, so it's just her doing that and him grumpily mumbling the lyrics

and when the cookies are cooling down, they start cleaning the kitchen up. aaron rubs some spilled egg yolk into sav's hair but it goes pretty okay otherwise, since they're just listening to more christmas songs and chatting about light stuff, like aaron's biochem course, sav's fashion course, and their dumb classmates

aaron mostly listens tho, and learns that sav kind of hates allison reynolds for giving up her inheritance when she would do ANYTHING for even the tiniest fraction of that money

but she still thinks allison's gorgeous bcs c'mon

and that sav's dream is to one day open her own boutique!!

aaron spends most of the actual christmas day with the monsters at eden's bcs nicky and andrew wanted to

he spent a lot of the time texting on their group chat

doessavvyisgay: so u just go to a nightclub every week??

unaliveme: i mean yeah, i literally worked here for a while. we needed money and nicky was already working 2 jobs night and day

actualblessing: babe ur backstory is so tragic

unaliveme: i'm a fox for a reason ig

cleo.magda: Yes but-

doessavvyisgay renamed this conversation "aaron miniyard support group"

unaliveme: oh ffs

unaliveme: sav subject change go

doessavvyisgay: i'm at the clothes store what should i get?

actualblessing: something pretty :)

doessavvyisgay: sorry, i can't buy the cashier

cleo.magda: Wow.

doessavvyisgay: I DID GET HER NUMBER THO

unaliveme: lmaooo what's her name?

doessavvyisgay: uh

unaliveme: savannah istg u don't even know her name??

actualblessing: s a v

actualblessing: damn u really do be turning on the Charm tho

actualblessing: respect i didn't even talk to aaron till i asked him for notes bcs he has rly pretty notes and also a rly pretty face

actualblessing: and even then i was like :0

unaliveme: IT WAS CUTE I PROMISE

doessavvyisgay: u 2 = the only valid heterosexual couple

actualblessing: rt

unaliveme: oh shit i'm getting super drunk

cleo.magda: Aaron, you drink? That's not legal, get out of there right now. Kids these days-

unaliveme: cleo u have literally seen me get drunk af,, the first time we met,,, and anyways this is how my family bonds ✌🏻

doessavvyisgay: that's. so damn weird kiddo but go off ig

actualblessing: no go find better things to bond about other than alcohol and weird sweaty dancing

cleo.magda: Yeah, go watch some Christmas movies!

unaliveme: nicky makes us watch die hard every year

doessavvyisgay: see u in hell, kiddo ;)

cleo.magda: I meant things like The Polar Express and Home Alone.

actualblessing: merry christmas ya filthy animals!!

doessavvyisgay: merry xmas y'all i'm gonna go to that christmas party bcs i'm super bored

unaliveme: merry christmas mothers and fuckers

cleo.magda: Merry Christmas, you guys!

[bisexualbuck]

911 & Buddie Fic Rec

I’ve been reading a lot of fics lately as I pretend that nothing is happening in the world, and so I’ve put up a list of a few that have stuck with me.

Don’t forget to leave them a comment! They’re all amazing and they deserve it.

Let’s spread some positivity around here!

In no particular order

Knocking On Heaven’s Door by MomentsOfWeakness

Summary: Buck isn’t sure where he is. The last thing he remembers was being out on a call. Now he’s here, in a place he has never seen before surrounded by people he doesn't know. It's bright. That's all he can really tell.

Based on a Tumblr prompt where someone asked for Buck and Chris both ending up in purgatory at the same time before they ever met in life. Buck has a ticket back to the living world but he gives it to Chris who is supposed to die. An old man, seeing what Buck did for Chris, decides to give his own ticket for the living world to Buck, because the world needs more people like him.

Personal opinion: This is just so good. It’s so well-written it almost reads like poetry.

Eddie Diaz and the Cat-astrophe at the 118 by SquaresAreNotCircles

Summary: It’s Chimney who rescues her from the tree, but it’s Bobby’s arms that she curls up in on the drive over to the vet to get her checked out. Right from the start, it’s as if she knows who she needs to cozy up with to secure her spot at the station.

“Come on, that’s crazy,” Buck says, but he does so while laughing not at Eddie, but at the grey tabby cat trying to get her claws on the fake mouse on a string that Buck bought with his own money, so Eddie doesn’t put too much stock in his opinion.

Or: The firefam adopts a mascot and Eddie has a minor crisis about it.

Personal opinion: This is just too sweet and too funny!!

Whatever you say, Buck by nanasteiger

Summary: Tumblr prompt: I'd love to see a fic where they start dating but decide to keep it private for a bit, except literally everybody knows because they're not secretive at all and everybody catches them here and there kissing or being affectionate with each other.

 The first one to talk about it was, and it wasn’t really a surprise, Captain Nash. “So,” he said, approaching him in the locker room, “what’s going on between you and Diaz?”

Personal opinion: The softness... unparalleled.

Love Language by red_to_black

Summary: The one in which there's too much pollen around, Eddie pines, and Buck is oblivious.

Or - Eddie's love language is acts of service, and Buck doesn't totally get it.

Personal opinion: I have melted... too good!!

a leaf falls on loneliness by iimpossible_things

Summary: Buck doesn���t think that if he were to say, “I’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. Really, he doesn’t. The 118 has too many good, kind people for that.

But every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to Eddie or Bobby or Hen or Chim, he hears Eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.”

—you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting—

So each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence.

Personal opinion: Y’all. Just - do yourself a favor and read this. A masterpiece!! Just *chefs kiss*

dying lol by itsmylifekay

Summary: Based on the meme: i'm dying lol

Buck is...Buck. And that means chaos, angst, laughs, and pining over Eddie. Bobby just wants his son to stop ending up in the hospital. Enjoy.

Personal opinion: I have no words to say how much I love this

i want your heart (i hope you do too) by chocobos

Summary: Buck can’t stop thinking about those words, about the way Eddie had said them, eyes open wide and earnest, hand searing a hole into his shoulder, never once breaking contact with him in any regard.

Personal opinion: One of my favorite fics in this fandom

Roll Down This Unfamiliar Road by altschmerzes

Summary: The big 'welcome to the family, sorry I tried to shut you out of it' dinner at Eddie's winds down, and Chimney decides it's time for him - and Albert - to go home. But, as he stands there and looks at his kid brother, half dozing off sitting at Eddie's dining room table, Chimney finds himself frozen, plagued by sudden doubt. What if he's not cut out for this?

It's Buck, of all people, who's there with an answer.

Personal opinion: This is a Chimney-centric fic and it’s an absolutely gorgeous piece.

a diary highlighting dysfunction (adhd) by @evaneddie

Summary: adhd!buck - headcanons into loosely linked one shots

Personal opinion: I’ve just reread just now and wow... still amazing... chefs kiss

I still don’t know my heart by attolians @getbvcked

Summary: I am SEVERELY late for Evan Buckley Week so I rolled these prompts into one fic! • March 23rd - Day 1: “That’s my family.” + fluff • March 24th - Day 2: “Why are you naked?” + fun • March 25th - Day 3: “Please don’t close your eyes!” + hurt • March 26th - Day 4: “You want to marry me?” + love • March 27th - Day 5: “You’re a good liar.” + comfort • March 28th - Day 6: “I won’t let you do this.” + angst

Personal opinion: As I said before, we’re here living in 2020 while Amber’s living in 3020... The genius *chefs kiss*

(hurt) thy neighbor by autumnchills

Summary: “He’s armed,” is all he says into the phone before standing from his spot. He shoves his phone into his pocket and steps out, hands raised. Sure enough, the man has a gun pointed at him, but if he looks closely enough… Buck squints. Color him surprised. “Is that you—” “Don’t!” The man yells, jerking his hand with the gun aggressively. “Don’t you dare fucking say my name, Buckley.”

— In which things get bad fast when Buck's neighbor breaks into his apartment thinking that he isn't home.

Personal opinion: You need to read all of autumnchills’ work actually because guess what... chefs kiss!!!

(There’s) No Time Like The Present by NobodyKnows_U

Summary: "Marry me."

The words flew out of his mouth before he could fully comprehend what he was doing. It came out as a shaken whisper, but everything around seemed to go hopelessly silent. He's pretty sure he heard a few choked gasps but all he could focus on was Buck.

Or, Buck nearly dies saving a baby during a call and Eddie ends up asking Buck to marry him.

Personal opinion: I cried, this is just gorgeous.

5-4-3-2-1 by elisela

Summary: For all the times that Eddie has practiced getting into his turnout suit in record time, he never bothered figuring out how to get out of it just as fast. He would be regretting that if he could think about anything other than the fact that Buck went over the pier rail twenty-six seconds ago, and disappeared into the dark water seventeen seconds ago.

Personal opinion: The intensity... The talent... I’m speechless.

what a man gotta do? (to be your last good night and your first good day) by diazevan

Summary: He is gonna woo Eddie. He is gonna woo him so fucking hard that the other man has no other choice but to be his boyfriend and declare his eternal love for him. Buck is gonna be that good.

or

Buck is the best boyfriend and he doesn't even know it.

Personal opinion: Soft!! Cute!! I’m !!!!!!

Won’t Be Lost Forever by @lionheartedghost

Summary: “Bobby said you wouldn’t talk to him last time he came in.” The chair by the side of the bed scraped back against the linoleum. “You want to tell me what’s going on?” Buck opened his eyes. Eddie looked patiently back at him, passing a hospital canteen cup of coffee back and forth between his hands. “I won’t let you do this,” Eddie said when he didn’t answer, setting the paper cup on the little table beside him. “I won’t let you shut us out.”

Eddie helps Buck with his recovery following the ladder truck incident.Written for Evan Buckley Week, Day 6: "“I won’t let you do this.” + angst

Personal opinion: I’m overwhelmed by so much perfection what the hell

I also want to give a shout-out to @eddiedeaz because her fics for the Evan Buckley Week were, you guessed it, *chefs kiss*

[tryingtobeclassy]

choi san . . . how real is your love : part I

part ii.

genre: San x female!reader, college au

description: While trying to get rid of an obnoxious ex you end up in a sort of unusual situation. A fake relationship. With none other than the biggest player on the campus - San.

word count: 4.3 k

warnings: swearing, alcohol

.         .         .          .          .

“Okay.”

…

“Yes. Alright.”

…

“Just fuck off.”

You finally ended the call and for a few seconds just stared at your phone feeling the anger still going up inside of you. Absolutely furious after the conversation, you slammed the notebook you were holding into the floor and giving yourself the freedom of letting out a scream as you thought you were the only one in the college hallway at that moment.

Turns out you were wrong.

“You good?” a male voice asked you, making you freeze in your spot. Anger washing away as embarrassment replaced it.

You turned around to see a guy sitting on the bench under the window, a somewhat worried expression on his face. You immediately recognized who it was and felt even more like just dying in the spot and letting the bugs eat your body. There probably wasn’t a single girl on campus who didn’t know who he was. Probably one of the best-looking men you ever had the chance to see up close and everyone seemed to agree.

San. From all the people who it could’ve been behind you, it just had to be San.

“I’m,, fine”, you barely pushed words out of you as your mind was in chaos.

It wasn’t even because you had a crush on him or anything. You kind of settled with the fact you’ll never get a chance to kiss him or anything despite his growing reputation of a player, you just didn’t think an average you would get to beat some other way prettier, but also pushier girls on campus. But you also didn’t want to just be one of the many on his list. It wasn’t really worth it. Your sudden lack of knowledge on how a human should hold a conversation was more because of how truly gorgeous this man was that it felt almost intimidating talking to him, but also because everyone freaking knew him, it felt like talking to a goddamn celebrity. You didn’t want to make a fool of yourself, but of course when you don’t want that, it’s when your brain usually collapses to only a few last braincells.

“That was some intense phone call”, he commented, a quiet chuckle escaping his lips.

As he mentioned the call, all the anger suddenly starts piling up again and your face instantly frowns. “Yeah… I guess some exes just like to be unnecessarily intense.”

…..

“Come on, babe. Just come to the party it will be fun”, your ex, Jonah, insisted on the other side of the phone.

“Three things. I said no. Don’t call me babe. And for the love of god, stop calling me!”

“Give me one good reason.”

You roll your eyes so hard they could’ve gotten stuck at the back of your skull. He truly was as persistent as a cockroach. It’s been a few weeks since you broke up with him and since then he never stopped being obnoxious and trying to convince you that you did a mistake and how you two were actually meant for each other.

“I have a boyfriend”, you suddenly lied. You didn’t really think too much about it, but as you said it, you didn’t regret it. You even thought it might actually be a solution to your troubles.

There was a short moment of silence from the other side before Jonah finally replied, “Oh really?” At the same time he sounded pissed as well as not really believing you. “Bring him as well then.”

Well shit. Gotta try and figure a way out of that one.

“Why the hell would I bring my current boyfriend to an ex’s party?”

“Because it’s a hot party everyone from campus would like to go to”, he said while sounding completely full of himself.

You sometimes really didn’t know what you saw in that douchebag.

“And also because I ain’t buying that crap”, he added.

“I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

“I’m guessing you’re saying that because he doesn’t really exist.”

You were angry by that point, but now you could just feel your body heat up from the amount that was building up. You knew you didn’t have to prove anything. In normal circumstances he would’ve backed up by now. Hell, in normal circumstance you wouldn’t even be having this conversation, but something inside you felt like this might actually be the solution. Even though a bad one. Just as bad as the whole idea.

“Fine”, you say aggressively, “I’m coming to your stupid party.”

“And your little imaginary boyfriend as well.”

“Okay.”

“Ten o’clock.”

“Yes. Alright.”

“Try not to lose him by then since he is invisible after all.”

“Just fuck off.”

…..

You somehow ended up telling San the entire story once he got curious and said he had experience with crazy exes and he might be of help when it comes to advice. So it was one of those ‘why the hell not’ moments. It’s not like you get to lose anything. He’ll know some personal info about you, but you’ll live. You might even get some piece of advice that could actually be helpful.

“That’s rough”, he says after listening to your story.

You felt good after venting to him for a bit. Feeling all the anger slowly calming and your mind not being set into ‘smash anything in sight to feel better’ mode.

“Yeah well, now I have three more days to find a fake boyfriend.”

“Have any plans?” he asked, looking insanely invested into the drama of your life. As if he’s watching a movie going live in front of him.

“I had a short thought that I could take my friend, but Jonah already knows him. He’s not stupid enough to believe it.” You let out a deep sigh, feeling annoyed from the situation you got yourself in. “Don’t really have a plan B yet.”

“I can act as your fake boyfriend if you want to”, he suddenly said. Just throwing that offer on the table. There. It’s here. What you gonna do about it?

“What? Are you serious?” you got extremely confused by how quickly he offered that and because of the fact he actually did.

He just shrugged his shoulders as if he just offered you to keep a pen you borrowed or something. No big deal for him. “Why not?”

You suddenly got really suspicious. “What’s in it for you?” you asked while squinting at him.

“I want twenty bucks…”

Sounds like a reasonable price.

“…and I want us to go to this one pizzeria near campus one Friday evening cause then they have a couples offer where you get free drinks.”

That one’s kinda unusual, but okay. Doable.

“You want to act as a fake couple just to get a free drink?” you asked, a bit of judgement crawling into your voice.

“I want to feel the satisfaction of getting something free. And doing something illegal.”

“I really don’t think fake dating to get a drink is against the law, but sure we can do that”, you said while doing your best not to laugh at someone who just offered his help. “Is that all?”

San seemed to think about it for a second before adding one last thing, “I want you to come to a family dinner.”

“Uh, why?”

“I have an older sister who constantly fucking ridicules me how I need to stop messing around with so much girls and try and be serious for once.”

“Kinda stupid. You’re like twenty. If you ain’t gonna mess around now, when will you?”

“That’s what I told her”, he yelled being all dramatic over it. “But yeah, those are my terms. We gonna do it or no?”

He suddenly turned serious starring at you with those dreamy eyes of his and you suddenly got hit with realization that the most desired guy on campus offered to be your fake boyfriend. You weren’t quite sure how you felt about it, but one thing you were sure about is that once Jonah sees him, he’s gonna get jealous. As in jealous. And that moment is the satisfaction you want.

“It’s a deal”, you say as you shook his hand, a smirk forming on your lips.

“How about we write a contract?” he suggests. “I want to have it written that you owe me money.”

You rolled your eyes, but still agreed because of which you ended at the nearest café. It was late afternoon by that time so the café was pretty empty. Everyone was either already done with classes or currently in one so it felt pretty peaceful as you drank you black coffee and kept writing down the discussed terms.

In the end the contract said:

This is a contract between San and y/n who have agreed to fake a relationship. Their fake relationship will be built on a few rules:

1.      San has to go to Jonah’s party with y/n

2.      y/n owes San 20$, a pizza date and attendance at one of his family dinners

3.      If needed the relationship may last longer

4.      neither side is allowed to have any  other relationships during this one

San wasn’t too happy about the last one, but as you assured him this entire act most definitely won’t last long, you both ended up singing it so it was officially settled. You stayed in the café for a little while longer just talking for a bit, getting to know each other a bit better. To your surprise, San wasn’t really what you imagined he’d be. He wasn’t all that full of himself or cocky and annoying for someone who was so popular and wanted. He was definitely confident, but he also had a somewhat softer side that only showed up for a second when he excitedly talked about a plush he sleeps with, but he immediately after changed the topic and asked you for your discretion and not to tell anyone at which you just laughed.

“Don’t worry, your secret’s safe.”

Once you both finally finished the coffee, it was time to finally go home and prepare for tomorrow’s classes. Leaving the café, you said your goodbyes and prepared to go each in their own direction. But just as you wanted to turn around and leave, San suddenly grabbed your arm and pulled you closer to himself, your lips crashing against each other. You felt like your entire body decided to stop working, like your heart stopped beating and your lungs stopped taking in air, the moment you felt his soft lips against your own. His other hand wandered behind your neck as he deepened the kiss for a moment before letting you go.

“What the hell was that?” you scream at him completely flustered while his lips just turned into a shape of a satisfied smirk.

“I wanted you to know what it’s like to kiss me”, he said as if it’s the most obvious thing. “It would’ve been suspicious if I kissed you for the first time in front of someone and you got all embarrassed and weird.”

“I’m not embarrassed and weird”, you complain despite feeling your face turning as red as a tomato.

“Whatever you say, babe”, he said through a smirk, putting weird emphasis on the word babe.

You wanted to yell something back at him, but thought it would probably be better to just leave it and finally go home. The dorms weren’t that far away from the café, but instead of going to your own room, you set off to a different floor and knocked on a door that didn’t belong to you. Few seconds later, Yunho opened.

“You won’t believe the day I had”, you said as you let yourself in and plopped down on his bed.

Luckily his roommate wasn’t there so you could freely tell all about your dramatic day to your friend.

“I literally feel like you won’t believe me.”

“What happened?” Yunho asked, sounding only half interested as he was occupied with a cup of instant ramen on his desk.

“I got myself a fake boyfriend.”

That sentence alone was enough to get his full attention. “I’m sorry, what?”

“And the wildest part is”, you stopped for a second to make a dramatic pause even starting to swing around with your hands, “it’s San.”

“You’re right, I don’t believe you”, was the only thing Yunho said after that.

You started to explain him the story from beginning to end. The phone call with Jonah, how San saw your angry tantrum and how it led to making a pact with his to have a fake relationship. Even the unexpected kiss at the end.

“Is he as good of a kisser as everyone says?” Yunho asked as his eyebrows were wiggling playfully.

You rolled your eyes for a moment. “I mean, you know. He’s decent”, you said trying to act cool.

“You think it will work?” he asked finally.

“I don’t think Jonah is smart enough to realize it so, yeah, I think it will work.”

You two talked for a little while longer before it was seriously about time you go to your own room and prepare for tomorrow.

You tried to occupy your mind with studying and all the college stuff you had to take your mind away from the party and Jonah, but also away from San as well. As much as you hated to admit it, you were kinda excited to act as his girlfriend. Not many girls manage to get that so you did feel a little bit special, even if it was all fake.

The three days went by too fast and it was already the day of the party. You haven’t seen San ever since the day you made the contract. Only texted to agree on a place and time of meeting each other. You were getting kind of nervous as you were rummaging through your closet. With a hot boyfriend, you wanted to look just as hot and not like some kind of gremlin next to him, so a seriously good outfit was needed. When you almost gave up on deciding on what to wear cause nothing seemed good enough and right after you threw yourself on the bed with an extremely loud and dramatic sigh, your roommate, Liv, exited the bathroom and found you in your despair.

“Still haven’t figured out an outfit?” she asked.

You let out a whiny ‘no’ to which she just laughed teasingly before opening her own part of the closet. “I can lend you one of my dresses.”

You immediately jumped in your spot as that was a wonderful idea. Liv had way more style than you and putting on any of her nice ass dresses will for sure make you look bomb.

“I think you should go for a classic nice black dress”, she commented while going through the hangers with clothes, you still just seated on the table as if you’re five years old again and waiting for your mom to pick an outfit for you.

With both of your strengths combined, you managed to make you look just like your goal was - hot as fuck. So you were finally ready. Liv was also going to the same party, but somehow she always starts getting ready when these kinds of things already start and shows up two hours late, but that’s fine. She wasn’t your concern right now. You were more worried about the actual party and how things will go. Will Jonah really believe your fake relationship? Well, there was only one way to find out.

You met with San on a little square nearby the house. In some nice pants and a simple shirt that he tucked in he looked casual, but still like he could walk the runway any moment. When you got close enough to him, he gave you a subtle scan from head to toe and added a nice compliment, “you look hot.”

“Thank you”, you said while flipping your hair like some kind of diva, but still felt your cheeks heating up a bit. “You look pretty nice too.”

The two of you had a nice little chat as you were walking towards the house. San turned out to be someone really easy to talk to. You somehow never had an awkward silence to get between you and the conversation would constantly just keep flowing. Something you didn’t expect, but you actually enjoyed talking to him. You always kind of had a prejudice that he would be insanely boring or that you just wouldn’t have any common topics to discuss. But turns out you were wrong.

“You ready?” he asked when you were so close to the house, you could hear the music blasting.

He slid his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to himself to which you almost let out a surprised squeal, but thankfully it managed to stay inside of you.

“I hope so”, you said as you could feel your heart start to beat up and it was hard to tell if the reason was San’s arm or the fact you’re about to face Jonah.

You were about half an hour late, but to your surprise the party already picked up. Music was so loud, you could barely hear anyone talk in certain parts of the house. Some people already managed to get drunk. And it was already so crowded that it was hard to move. You and San split up for a few moments since he settled for beer that was in the kitchen, but you wanted to find something stronger to get you through this night. And just as you were mixing yourself a drink, you felt a hand on your back. At first you thought it was San who came back after getting his beer, but unfortunately you found yourself face to face to Jonah. Already. And you couldn’t even get a drink to make all of this a tad bit more tolerable.

“Well, hey there, babe. I couldn’t help but notice that you’re alone”, he said, the nastiest smirk forming on his face.

“How many times do I have to repeat not to call me babe, asshole?” you asked, anger getting into your voice as you seriously weren’t having it.

“That’s harsh”, he said in a mocking kind of way. “So where’s this boyfriend of yours?”

He really wasn’t wasting no time before getting straight to the point, but it wasn’t enough to make you lose your cool.

“He went to get a beer.”

“How convenient.”

He seemed so full of himself. You could tell he was so convinced you were lying and probably convinced he’d have you in his arms again by the end of the night. An absolute idiot if he really did think you’d stoop so low.

He continued teasing you, subtly implying the whole time how your boyfriend story was obviously fake and you were just about to say something when San suddenly showed up next to you, sliding his arm over your shoulder and surprising you with a short kiss when you turned your head to look at him.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, sweetheart”, he said casually before turning to face the man in front of you.

Your entire body felt like it was on fire for a second and you had to quickly collect yourself not to seem suspicious in front of Jonah.

“Who’s your friend?” asked San, despite being well aware of Jonah since you showed him pictures to be prepared.

“Not a friend”, you said, trying to make your voice sound as cold as possible.

The look on Jonah’s face was exactly what you hoped for and was the only thing you looked forward to that night. Complete surprise as he stared at San not knowing what to even say.

“This is the boyfriend you were so eager to meet, San”, you said with a mocking tone in your voice. “And San, this is my ex Jonah.”

“Oh, dude, sorry didn’t want to make it weird”, San immediately said and pulled his arm away trying to look like a decent guy who doesn’t want any trouble. “I’m gonna go dancing, so just find me after, okay?” he added and disappeared.

You were once again left with Jonah, but at this moment, you weren’t the slightest mad about it as Jonah still didn’t quite know what to say.

“Can you finally leave me alone now?” you asked while crossing your arms on your chest.

“San?” he asked with the most confused and almost angry look on his face. “From all the guys on the campus, how the fuck did you get him?”

“Are you saying I’m not good enough for him?” you asked and tried to seem mad although it was fairly amusing for you.

“I’m just confused.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is jealous.”

He let out a loud pfft to try and make you think how that was the most absurd thing you could’ve said. “Sure thing”, he said sarcastically before just walking away without another word.

Mission accomplished.

With a satisfied grin on your face you went to find San.

“How did it go?” he asked enthusiastically when you found him.

“Perfect. He looked like a little kid about to throw a tantrum and it was beautiful.”

San answered with a soft laugh, two cute dimples showing up that you didn’t notice before.

“I didn’t really have a plan from this point on”, you admitted.

He took a few gulps of his beer as he got lost in thought. “We definitely can’t break up after tonight, it would be too soon and suspicious.”

You kinda didn’t hate the idea of fake dating San for a bit longer, but you tried to play it as cool as possible. “You’re probably right. Jonah is an idiot, but I don’t think he’s an idiot of such a scale.”

“Well… Let’s not worry about him anymore and just have a good night. How about that, babe?” he asked and shoot you a playful smile.

“Sounds good to me.”

The rest of the night went great. You finally got your hands on a drink and the moment you stopped thinking too much about Jonah and how this whole situation you got yourself into is quite odd, it got even better. San was extremely flirty the entire night. You were showered with attention, compliments and soft touches. It all felt a bit too real at some points. He even introduced you to his best friend Wooyoung as your girlfriend and didn’t give any further explanation.

“Who would’ve thought you’d actually stick with only one girl”, Wooyoung teased him a bit.

He was quite a character. Very charismatic, but also very funny and silly – almost like a little boy.

“Anyway, I don’t feel like third wheeling any longer so you two have fun”, he said. San tried to convince him to stay a bit longer, but soon enough you two were left alone.

Well not really alone. There was still a bunch of people around you in the hallway just trying to get away from the loud music for a second. And as it seems some people you didn’t want there as well.

“Okay, don’t look, but your little ex has been sort of following us half of the night”, San said as he subtly eyed one end of the hallway where Jonah probably was.

“Jesus, I thought I was crazy when I kept seeing him”, you said as you rolled your eyes, anger once again crawling back into your voice.

You were about to say something else, but you were surprised by San suddenly leaning a lot closer to you. You were already standing with your back against the wall and once he leaned his forearm on the wall above you and leaned forward, the space between you was almost non-existent.

“I’m pretty sure I know how to get him away.”

He was so close you could feel his breath on you and it made your body heat up once again that night. Before you could even say anything he moved into a short kiss. It was so short, you weren’t even sure whether it happened and once it was over he moved a few inches, just enough to see your expression, as if he was evaluating your reaction.

“Is that all you got?” you suddenly asked, confidence you didn’t know you got pilling up inside you and a playful smile stretching on your lips.

He didn’t give you what would be considered a usual answer. But instead you were met with his lips once again as this time he wasn’t holding back. They were soft and tasted like alcohol. He grabbed you by your waist to pull you even closer to him that you could feel his entire torso pressed against yours and a wave of heat suddenly washed over you. Your hands wandered around his neck and into his hair. It was soft. So incredibly soft.

You don’t know how long you stayed like that. You were completely immersed into the moment. Kissing him felt like nothing ever before. It felt so passionate. Like all he wants is to keep you in his arms and kiss you forever.

Once the kiss broke and you both gasped for air, you just let out a half awkward laugh and lightly smacked him on the chest.

“Not bad for the biggest player on the campus.”

You stayed at the party for a little while longer before complete tiredness got the better of you and you made your way home. The rest of the night and probably the whole weekend, you spent in constantly thinking about it. About Jonah, about San. Especially about San and this whole fake relationship that he really devoted himself to the part. You weren’t sure what to think of it, but one thing was for sure. You can’t catch feelings. And that’s final.

[sugarbutterbroadway]

Davey Mine

A/n This is the sequel to Paint The Sky and I hope you guys enjoy it! if you do, a reblog or a comment can go a long way :)

October 12th. October 12th, 2025. October 12th 2025 at 4pm. October 12th, 4pm at Oheka Castle on Long island. Jack could hardly breathe. He was getting married today. He was getting married today at 4pm. He was getting married today at a castle! A real life castle,where he was getting married. To Davey. His Davey. His Davey, who smiled too wide and kissed too rough and was currently kicking ass as a High School History teacher. His Davey who reserved those gentle eyes for him,Les and their puppy Luna. His Davey who still functioned entirely on coffee and got excited when they passed the home goods section in TJ Maxx.  His Davey who had gotten down on one knee two years prior, and asked him to marry him. 

His Davey who he said no to at first because he thought it was a joke, he still cringed at the memory. His Davey who he wasn’t allowed to see until the ceremony and it was driving him crazy. He had tried to run out of his room multiple times but was tackled to the ground each time by Spot,Race and even Katherine.

Then he was put on house arrest. He wasn’t allowed to leave this room until it was time to walk down the aisle.

And he was bored! He was bored and lonely because everyone was too busy to entertain him. Medda was checking the guest books,Race was probably off doing god knows what with Spot,Charlie was working on the floral arrangements,Katherine was making sure the catering was taken care of and Sarah was with Davey. Elmer,Finch,Albert and Romeo were driving up from the city while JoJo and Specs were flying from California. Buttons,Henry and Mush had flown in from Europe the night prior. Skittery only lived a town or two over so he’d be arriving with the other guests. So he wondered how he had a small army on the way and he still felt so lonely. Realistically he knew why, he only wanted to see his fiance and all that mushy shit, but it was getting ridiculous. He had a few hours to waste before he could see Davey, see him and kiss him and get to be Mr. Jack Kelly-Jacobs. He smiled, he couldn’t wait to call himself that. He could at least try to appreciate the place he was staying in, it was gorgeous. 

Davey had really gone the extra mile--even though Jack had assured him he would be fine getting married in a horse stable as long as it meant marrying him--but Davey had just kissed his cheek and promised that it would be a dream come true. And it was, the bed in his room was absolutely gigantic, and he--though he was told several times not to--still had the urge to do somersaults on it.

 The windows were huge and the curtains felt more expensive than anything he could afford, it still made his stomach turn to think about how much money went into this. It was expensive, but weddings only happened once so it was fine, it would be fine, he just needed to stop thinking about it. His favorite part had to be the crowns, Davey had got them matching crowns in gold and silver, and they were to die for. Jack never really had expensive taste, that was all Race, but if Davey kept spoiling him like this he just might turn. His suit hung near the window, a crimson red color embroidered with gold. This thankfully didn’t cost him a dime, Medda was more than happy to make it for him. He offered to pay multiple times but she said seeing him happy was more than enough. It was a beautiful suit, it looked professional. Sure back in her college days she worked on costumes in the theatre but this, she had truly outdone herself. It fit him like a glove and made him feel like a million bucks.

 And the locket, how could he forget about the locket? It was a gold painted locket made by Sarah and he’d been wearing it for weeks. On both sides were pictures of them. One in first grade and the other at their engagement party. He fell in love with the locket immediately and made a secret promise to never keep it out of his sight. It made him a little teary eyed to think of how excited six year old Jack would have been to see all of this. How timid he would’ve been to touch anything lest he break it and get his hide torn up by one of the orphanage workers. Jack grimaced and out of spite ran his hands along everything in the room, he was done being afraid. After he had touched every little trinket in the room he flopped back on the bed with a groan. Someone needed to come entertain him soon before his mind started wandering and he had a breakdown.

-

He was left to his own devices for a little more than an hour before someone came--well multiple someone’s came, and they came in a pack. There was a knock and Jack had barely said ‘come in’ before the boys barged in.

“Hey!-”

“Congratulations, Jack!”the chorus rang, and soon enough he was being pulled on by a different set of arms trying to hug him. He didn’t want to be dramatic, but he was an affectionate man and it felt amazing to hug some of the friends he hadn’t seen in years. They all looked damn good too, wearing the matching robes that Katherine had insisted on. JoJo with always the widest grin pulled Jack into another hug.

“I always knew it would be Davey,”JoJo whispered, before pulling away. Next he was passed onto Buttons, and boy did Jack have a lot to say.

“Benjamin Buttons”He teased and was met with a shove to his shoulders. He laughed and against Button’s will pulled him in for a bear hug.

“Yeah yeah it’s good to see you too”Buttons said, muffled by Jack’s shirt.

“Oh stop gripin”He scoffed, “I ain’t seen you since we graduated”

“That ain’t my fault”Buttons said, “I see a scholarship, I take it”

Jack rolled his eyes, “Yeah, all the way in Scotland. So tell me, any pretty girls caught your eye?”

“Jack, I'm crushed,”Buttons said, but his eyes twinkled with mischief. “You know the only girl I got eyes for is JoJo”

“Hey, listen here you litt-”

The group quickly dissolved into high school level chaos and Jack felt at home. It reminded him of day’s in the living room at Medda’s taken for granted. Sure he was happy to be out of high school, but he couldn’t help but miss it. It’s like someone yelled ‘scatter!’ the second they graduated and they all split up across the globe. He knew it would happen--he was there for every single acceptance letter, but it hadn’t sunk in until it was only him,Davey,Spot and Race left right where they started.

 JoJo had moved out to California to pursue acting,Specs had moved out there for UCLA. Elmer had gone to culinary school,Finch had moved for college,Albert was his roommate so he went too and Romeo got a job at one of Medda’s theaters. Buttons had moved to Scotland for school, while Henry and Mush had moved to London just for the adventure. And Skittery, he was moving up to Massachusetts for college too the following year. Jack was proud, it made his heart burst to think of how far some of them came--how far he had come himself. But he would always find himself thinking about when times were easier, when they were younger and vibrating with untapped potential. He had a hard time living in the moment, he was just always thinking. But he was trying, and he would try his hardest today because he didn’t want to look back and remember his wedding being a blur.

“Any of you smell smoke?”Race teased, and Jack blinked. Once, then twice, because when did Race get in here? And where has he been all morning?

“huh?”Jack asked.

“You were just thinkin so hard that...ah forget it, you missed the joke”Race waved dismissively. “The boys called me in cause you were lookin pale, you got cold feet? Cause I can sneak you out the wind-”

“No”He said, scrunching up his face. That was the last thing he wanted to do, he just wanted to see Davey.

“Then what is it?”Race asked, “You look really serious, it’s kind of concerning”

“I just...I was just thinking about how much I love all of you--not you,Race--but just all of you guys” He said, gesturing to the guests. He ignored Race’s squawk of indignation and continued. “Some of you I met freshman year,some of you I’ve known since the refuge and some of you I met in Juvie” Mush,Finch and Albert ducked their heads, but they were snickering. “I don’t know how to explain this but...we had adults tellin us we weren’t gonna do shit with our lives, and just look at us. We all got jobs,we’re all payin the bills and most of all we’re happy. I guess that’s just somethin to think about”

“Jack Kelly the sap”Mush said, though he was grinning.

“We love you too, Jack”Specs said, giving Mush the side eye. “Some of us are better at expressing that than others”

“We’re all really happy for you”Finch said, “I mean you and Davey were meant to be”

“Like some queer Disney movie”

“Yeah yeah! Exactly like some queer Disney movie!”

“Except more drama”

“Way more drama-”

“-and less magic-”

“-I mean depends on what we consider magic-”

“Alright”Jack groaned, rubbing his temples. “You guys couldn’t focus on one topic if you had a gun to your head”

“It’s really hard,”Albert said, nodding slowly. “I would know”

Jack blinked.��I...you worry me, Al”He said, “Race, collect your best friend before he gives me a heart attack”

“Why don’t you go ask your other brother?”Race scoffed, “The one who you obviously love”

Jack rolled his eyes. “First of all, you know I love you. Second of all, you’re my best man, so do what I say”

“Alright bridezilla”Race muttered, “C’mon, Albie. Let’s go”

“Goodbye!”Albert said, waving to everyone on the way out. Once he was gone Jack buried his head in his hands.

“God I love that kid, but how does he have a bio-engineering degree?”

“I don’t know”

“Beats me”

“I ask myself that everyday”

-

Jack had made a grave mistake. He started this day off begging for it to move faster but now that the anxiety set in, he just wanted everything to slow down. He spent about a little over an hour just chilling with the boys, before Katherine,Charlie,Medda and Sarah burst into the room saying it was time to get ready. Maybe time did fly when you were having fun because the clock that once read 1:15pm now read 2:45pm. He would be seeing Davey in less than two hours. His eyes widened. He would be seeing Davey in less than two hours. Oh god what if this was a mistake? What if the red suit was too much? He didn’t even know what color Davey was wearing. What if he stood out too much? Would Davey’s family like it? Would Davey like it? He squeezed Katherine’s hand as Medda combed and trimmed his hair. It was comforting to have his mom do this for him, but he was still absolutely shaking.

“Take deep breaths with me”Katherine said. He nodded and he tried but his diaphragm was spasming and he felt like he was going to have an anxiety attack. He’d been waiting two years for this day, what if it wasn’t perfect? What if he let Davey down somehow? Oh god. What if they got to the arbor and Davey realized it was a mistake? What if somebody objected? What if-

“Jack,”Katherine said calmly. “You’re not breathing.”

“I’m sorry”He whimpered. He wanted to cry, just a little bit to get it out of his system. But he had foundation on and he’d be damned if he had to sit there and get it applied again.

“Everything is going to plan”She said, rubbing his hand. “The cake is here,the flowers look great,seating charts are at the venue,everyone in both parties are accounted for and catering is on schedule.”

“How is Davey?”he asked, his voice was wobbly. Oh no, he was going to cry.

“Davey is doing just fine”She said, he let out a sigh of relief. “Sarah runs a tight ship”

“Wouldn’t you know, Mrs.Jacobs-Plumber?”He teased.

“Ah, shut up”She said with a smile. “It’s your turn to become a Jacobs now”

“Isn’t that crazy?”He said, “We both dated, and now we both married into the same family”

“I try not to think about it”She said, “And you shouldn’t either, keep your eyes on your Husband”

His husband. Today he got to officially call Davey his husband. God he missed Davey.

“Katherine”he said, sweetly. A little too sweetly. 

“Yes?”She asked, with narrowed eyes.

“Can I please call Davey-”

“Nope”She said, shaking her head.

“Why!”He whined.

“Because it’s bad luck!”She exclaimed, Medda and Charlie hummed in agreement. Jack scoffed, what would Charlie know? He was only twenty-one, and single.

“It’s bad luck if I see him,”He stressed. “I just wanna talk to him”

“No”

“Please”

“No”

“Please”

“No”

“Ple-”

“No!”She snapped. “There is no talking to Davey until your ass is under that arch.”

“Mommy!”He whined, tilting his head to look up at Medda. She simply shrugged.

“I don’t know what to tell you, baby”Medda said, “You put Katherine in charge, not me”

“Grave mistake, Kelly”Charlie smirked, from the couch he was lounging on.

“You’re a little shit”He said. Medda thumped the back of his head and he winced.

“Don’t talk about my Charlie like that,”Medda warned.

“I’m mama’s favorite”Charlie taunted. She gave him a look and he immediately sunk back into the couch.

“I don’t have a favorite”She said, “I adopted you all for a reason. Jack, you’re done baby. Charlie, you’re up next”

Charlie shifted off the couch and limped over, not before receiving a smack to the back of his head from Jack. he went to strike back but Jack jumped out of the way.

“It’s my wedding day”He said, “you bruise me, it’s game over”

Charlie grumbled to himself and sat down in the styling chair. Jack discreetly tucked his phone into his pocket and announced he was going to the bathroom. Once he was safely inside he locked the door and sat in front of it for good measure before tapping Davey’s contact. With the phone pressed against his ear he waited. It rang for what felt like eternity before it went through.

“Hey, sweetheart”

Jack’s eyes fluttered closed and he let out a happy sigh. “Davey”

There was a laugh from the other end. “That bad, huh?”

“They’ve been treatin me like an animal”He whined. “I’ve been locked in this room since yesterday and i’m not allowed out until the ceremony”

“Aww my poor Jackie”Davey cooed, “I heard you tried to run, rookie mistake”

“Sarah is faster than she looks”He grumbled, “So is Charlie”

“Like that leg would stop him”Davey laughed, “He’s been dead weight since the day I met him”

“God, I remember he used to love when you came over”He grinned, leaning his head against the door. “Always wanted to know when Davey was coming to play”

“That seems just like yesterday”Davey said, “I remember those matching overalls Medda used to make you guys wear-”

“Don’t remind me”He groaned, “We’ll call that a lapse in judgement and a product of the early 2000’s.”

“Call it whatever you want, it was adorable.”Davey teased.

“Yeah yeah we was perfect cherubs”He said, “But listen, I don’t have much time. They think i’m just using the bathroom. I was feelin a little anxious and I just wanted to hear your voice, ya know? You ground me”

“And you ground me”Davey said, Jack could just tell he was grinning. “I gotta get back soon anyways, I'm in the garden. But I love you, Jackie and I can’t wait to marry you”

His breath hitched. “S-say it again, Davey”

“I love you”Davey said in a sing-song way, “I love you I love you I love you”

“I love you too, Davey mine”he whispered, a tear slid down his face. “And I-I can’t wait to be your husband”

“Don’t cry, Jackie”Davey said, “You’ll make me cry and then we’ll both be inconsolable messes”

He laughed just a little watery and nodded, “Yeah, we should cut this short before I burst into flames. I love you”

“I love you, see you soon”

With that the line went dead and Jack took a deep breath. How Davey managed to make him a blubbering mess anytime they talked was still unknown to this day. Being in Davey’s presence just made you want to bare your soul for him because he would see right through you anyways. His eyes were intense and his voice was more calming than any lullaby Jack had ever heard and the words he spoke felt like worship. Jack sighed and dapped at his face with a tissue. He was already a wreck and he hadn’t even stepped foot down the aisle.

-

In the far wing of the castle things were running smoothly, Davey and Sarah made certain of it. Call it twin telepathy or just amazing organization skills, but not a thing was out of place. They were running right on schedule. Sarah desperately wanted Davey to sit down and at least take a bit of a break but he was always a control freak, and it seemed that was never going to change. He wanted to know everything that was happening. Who was doing what,who was being seated at each table,what the playlist looked like,what alcohol would be served, it was the only thing keeping him from having a nervous breakdown.

 And Sarah caved, promising to give him hourly updates on how things were going. Those things included Jack. He was more than annoyed that they left Jack all alone for so long, it didn’t sit well with him. He would have marched right over there himself if Sarah hadn’t been watching him like a hawk. She’d cave for everything else, but no seeing Jack before the wedding. Davey did the same thing for her wedding, so it felt like it was coming more from a place of revenge than a place of love.

Besides the minor slip, he was excited. He’d been waiting to say ‘I do’ from the minute Jack said yes. He loved Jack, he loved him more than he could ever imagine. That was his best friend,his soulmate, and he had been there for everything. He was there when Davey learned how to ride a bike, he was there for Davey’s piano recitals,his soccer matches,his debate meets, everything. He was the first one Davey had come out, not even Sarah had known at that point. He was there and he held Davey while he cried and they brainstormed a way to tell his family. He couldn’t remember a time in his life before that beautiful whirlwind known as Jack Kelly, he didn’t want to know a time after it. 

He was good with his words so sometimes they come cheap but when he looked into Jack’s eyes and promised forever, he meant it. And he’ll mean it today and tomorrow and everyday to come, because he loved Jack. He could tell him all day long--he wanted to tell him all day long. He wanted to run right out of this room and tackle him to the floor in a flurry of kisses. He wanted to be at home,on their couch with Luna on his lap listening to Jack read to him. But he promised Jack fairytale and Jack was going to get fairytale if it killed him.

“You’re thinking hard, Davey”Sarah said softly, “What’s going on up there?”

“I…”He started, then chuckled despite himself. “I’m just thinking about how much I love him. When I think about him, it all sounds so good in my head and on paper, but then I look at him and I melt”

“That’s love if I've ever seen it”She said, fiddling with her hair in the mirror. “The kind that Mom and Dad have”

“That’s sweet, Saz”He smiled, “I don't know he...he just makes me speechless”

“Save it for your vows”She said playfully, “I’m not the one you have to pour your heart out to, he is”

“I get it, I talk a lot”He said rolling his eyes, “Sue me”

“Hey”She said, pointing a finger at him in the mirror. “Don’t push it, my wife’s a lawyer”

“I know I know”he said, “You only take every possible opportunity to remind me of it”

“It’s what I'm best at,”She said with a wink, “You need to start getting ready, like now. It’s already 3:30pm and guests are arriving at 4pm”

“Oh shit”He cursed, jumping up from his seat. “Out out out!”

“Alright!”She exclaimed, grabbing her brush off the vanity. “Come get me when you’re dressed, you’re not going out with your hair looking like that-”

“Yes, I know”He stressed, pushing her out the door. “But I gotta get dressed, immediately. Love you, bye!”

Davey shut the door behind him and ran a hand over his face. It would be fine, he had thirty minutes and getting dressed would take him no longer than ten. He reached for his suit folded over the vanity chair and sighed. He could do this, he’d be seeing Jack in an hour, then they’d get to go home and sleep in peace. He couldn’t wait to lock himself in the suite, and consummate the marriage til the cows came home.

He smirked a bit, if it meant that then he could definitely do this.

-

Jack leaned in to look at himself in the bathroom mirror. He wanted to get dressed in private, and Katherine granted him that luxury. He felt, he felt handsome. No, not just handsome. He felt beautiful, he’s not sure what he was worried about. The suit looked just as good as the day he tried it on and the gold shimmered in the bathroom lights, he paused, this was a really nice bathroom. He turned around inspecting the trousers and smirked, his ass looked fantastic if he did say so himself. He wiggled his hips a bit and shot himself a cheesy grin, he was starting to feel more like himself. He felt confident. He grabbed the crown that was sitting on the counter and gently placed it on his head. It had felt silly the first few times he tried it on, but now, it just felt right. He gently tucked his gold locket inside of his shirt, that was only for him to see and he wanted it as close to his heart as possible. He took one last look at himself before exiting the bathroom.

“The future prince has arrived”He announced as he stepped out onto the marble floor. All eyes were on him.. He walked out a bit further waiting for a reaction, but none came. His heart stuttered a bit, he knew it. He knew that they would hate it.

“Do...do you guys like it?”He asked quietly. In place of an answer Medda came forward and wrapped her arms around him. He was pulled flush against her chest and she just hugged him tight.

“You look stunning, Jack”She whispered, “Absolutely stunning”

“Thank you, mama”He said, with a shaky exhale. He felt a bit better, Medda didn’t lie. His knees weakened a bit and she held him tighter. The comments soon flooded after Medda’s approval.

“You look amazing, Jack!”Katherine squealed, “you look expensive!”

“I feel expensive,”He chuckled. He walked over to Charlie who had a dopey grin on his face,

“You clean up well, kid”He said, tousling the dirty blonde hair.  Charlie groaned and pulled Jack down for a hug.

“You look good, Jack”Charlie grinned, patting his back.

“So do you”He said, “Try and let me have the spotlight for once”

“In your dreams, Kelly”Charlie said, thumping his temple. He laughed and pulled Katherine into a quick hug, kissing her cheek.

“If you told me this was the same Jack Kelly who took me on a date to Wendy’s in eighth grade I wouldn’t believe you!”She teased, squeezing him extra tight. “Just look at you! God, Medda did amazing work because this fits you perfectly”

“Thank you, Kathy,”He said, swaying them side to side. The last one for a hug was Race. He looked at Jack expectantly with open arms and tears brimming at the corner of his eyes. Once Jack was within arms length he pulled him in and the tears began to fall.

“Fuck”Race choked out, “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry but, this...this is real Jack. This is happening, you’re getting married”

“Aww, Racer”He soothed, rubbing his back. “I’m getting married but I ain’t goin nowhere, promise”

“Y-you promise you’re always going to be my big brother?”Race croaked.

“I promise”He said, “We’ve been brothers since the beginning, I ain’t goin nowhere”

“Good”Race sniffled, attempting to compose himself. “Oh fucking hell-”

“Language,”Medda said, pointing a finger. “You may be grown but i’m still your mother”

He had the nerve to look a bit bashful. “Sorry, ma. It’s just...it’s hard to think of you as someone other than my big brother, ya know? It’s weird that you have a life”

“Thanks”He said flatly.

“That’s not what I meant!”Race whined. “Just...you look spectacular,Davey’s gonna love it and i’m so happy for you”

“It means a lot, Racer”He said, “Honest.”

“Just you wait”Race said, wiping his eyes. “I got a whole best man speech prepared for the reception, it’s gonna be great”

“I have no doubts”He said, “But, we all gotta get a move on it. Guests are starting to arrive and Charlie and Ma are the only one’s dressed.”

Katherine sighed and grabbed her purse off his bed. “You better not try to escape, Kelly. We will find you”

“Yeah yeah, get out!”He said, ushering her and Racetrack out the door. The sooner they got dressed,the sooner they could get this party started. He turned to face Medda and let out a giddy laugh.

“We were so focused on me, but look at you!”He said, “You look beautiful Ma”

“Aw you don’t gotta butter me up Jack”She waved off, “I already adopted you.”

“I mean it!”He exclaimed with wide eyes, “Charlie, doesn’t Ma look beautiful?”

“Absolutely gorgeous!”Charlie said from the couch he was lounging on.

“See?”He said, cocking his hip. “Two against one”

She smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you, baby. I need to be on my way now too, your aunts are here”

“Auntie Esther and Estelle?”Charlie said. Medda nodded.

“I’m coming with you! They always have candy”

“Well come on!”She said, “you know they don’t like being kept waiting”

He pushed himself off the couch and Medda grabbed his crutch off the table handing it to him. He wasn’t too pleased about it, but he would be on his feet for the majority of the day.

“I just want them to hack this fucker off”Charlie grumbled, shoving the crutch under his armpit. Jack frowned a bit, and put an arm on Charlie’s shoulder. Medda took that as a sign to leave with a promise that she would be waiting outside the door.

“It’s only for the ceremony, we just want you to be comfortable”He said softly. “And one of these days it’ll happen, I know it will”

Charlie shot him a crooked smile and shook his head. “Optimism isn’t your venue, Jack. I’ll rant to Elmer later”

“Hey, it’s my job as big brother to at least try and sugarcoat the bullshit”He chuckled, “But seriously Charlie, tell me if you’re uncomfortable. You can sit-”

“No”Charlie said, “No, I wanna stand. It’s the least I can do for you, ya know. Since the minute I step out there everyone’s eyes will all be on me, gotta make it up somehow”

“Yeah, you’re a real peach”He said, rolling his eyes.

“A georgia one!”Charlie called over his shoulder as he left the room. Jack took this time to try and get the butterflies in his stomach under control. He was excited, so excited he might puke. He paused. Or did that mean he was nervous? He had no idea, he just knew that the minute Katherine entered this room, it would be time. That time came sooner than he thought because less than fifteen minutes later Katherine came bursting into the room wearing a champagne colored bridesmaid gown.

“It’s time, Jack!”She squealed. He nodded. It was time. His eyes widened.

Holy shit.

It was time.

“Are you ready to see your groom?”She asked, offering him her arm. With a shaky breath he nodded and looped his in hers.

“I’m ready”

-

The venue was perfect, picture perfect even. It was unseasonably warm for October. The sun was shining through the autumn leaves and the air was still and dry. Not a drop of rain in sight from the clear blue skies above. Jack could hardly believe their luck, it had been storming the week prior and he had been so nervous. He also felt a bit ridiculous, him and Medda were hidden behind a bush because she wanted his big reveal to be a surprise to everyone. He didn’t care about that, he wanted to see what was going on! And most of all he wanted to see Davey, their little phone call was only holding him over for so long. He grumbled quietly with only a stern look as warning to be patient. He was shocked out of his stupor when the music started.

It was almost time.

He peeked over the side as their many groomsman paired off together, sure he remembered from the many dress rehearsals--a theatre mom wants perfection--but seeing his friends dressed so smart made him want to laugh and cry all at once. They had all come here for him today, in the middle of October, just to see him getting married. He pouted a bit and placed a hand over his heart, it was touching. His smile only widened as he saw JoJo and Buttons walking hand in hand instead of arm and arm. Maybe Jack could do a little matchmaking of his own and get them to spill the truth. It took awhile for everyone to get down there, with over ten groomsmen of his own and not even counting some of Davey’s friends, it was a process. His heart stopped when he saw Katherine walking down the aisle with...was that Luna? He turned to Medda with wide eyes about to scream but she just laughed to herself and hushed him.

“Surprise”She whispered. He grinned, of course Davey couldn’t leave their baby out of this.

The wedding march soon drifted into the lantern song instrumental and Jack knew it was time. Without a word he gripped Medda’s arm and stepped out into the open. The applause were deafening but all he could focus on was Davey. There he was dressed in a purely white suit,silver crown on his head and his own silver locket hanging proudly on display. He looked regal, he looked like a prince. But his head was down, without thinking Jack whistled at him and snapped his finger, because hello, he was here now. Davey’s head snapped up and the minute his eyes caught Jacks, the dam exploded. His knees grew weak and he squatted down with tears blurring his eyes.

“O-oh my god”he stuttered, covering his mouth. Jack looked angelic, covered in red and gold from head to toe. This was the man he was about to marry, this was him. Sarah placed a hand under his arm and hoisted him up, letting him lean on her for comfort. How was expected to stand tall when Jack Kelly could bring anyone to their knees? He was blubbering like an absolute idiot but he didn’t care because now Jack was right in front of him. He quickly wiped his eyes and mumbled a quick apology because that was definitely not supposed to happen.

“I-you look-hi”He said. 

“You look pretty hi yourself”Jack smirked. He blushed and shot their officiator--Jack’s friend Blink--a withering look. He seemed to snicker before lifting his hands to silence the guests chatter.

“Friends and Family”He started, then stopped when Jack outright laughed.

“Problem?”He said, raising a brow.

“ ‘m sorry, i’ve just never heard you sound so serious”Jack said, “i’m okay now though, please continue”

Blink rolled his eyes and mumbled something that sounded akin to cursing, He cleared his throat and started again. “Friends and family, we are gathered here today to celebrate the once in a lifetime bond known as Jack and David. And if you couldn’t tell, this will be anything but serious so if that’s what you were expecting, I’m sorry”

A few of the guests laughed and Davey felt much better. Sure he liked serious but he didn’t like stuffy.

“Now, Jack told me that he wanted me to talk as little as possible so I will try to do that”He continued, “But this man right here is like a brother to me, so I make no promises. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but only if both parties are willing. So Davey, please let me know that Jack didn’t bring you here against your will”

Davey let out a startled laugh and shook his head, “I’m the one who proposed, so no”

“I just needed to make sure, we all know he can be a bit pushy”he smirked, “But in all seriousness, marriage is beautiful, a everlasting blond between two people pledging themselves to each other for life.”He paused, “I can admit it is a little culty sounding but beautiful. And as beautiful as it is, it is a commitment. That means sticking by each other's side through the highs and lows and everything that comes in between. Understood?”

“Crystal clear”Davey said.

“Absolutely”Jack said, giving Davey the once over, eyes twinkling.

“This is usually the point where I would ask if anyone has any objections but I think I'll get speared like a shish kebob if I do, so we’ll be skipping that part.”He said, Jack hummed in agreement and reached down to grab Davey’s hand. He was practically vibrating in his skin with mirth, it was a moment Davey wanted to keep forever. “Now I heard from a little birdy, that Davey had a pretty lengthy speech written, so I think it’s best we get straight into the vows”

Right, his vows, that was something that he had to say at some point. He didn’t necessarily have stage fright, but something about all of his loved ones staring,waiting for him to pour out his heart made him feel jittery. He grabbed Jack’s other hand and squeezed it, he didn’t have to look at them. He could just look at Jack and pretend it was only them. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and tried to relax. He could do this.

“I just wanna start this off by saying, I love you. I can never say this enough and I will never get tired of saying it, so. I love you.”He said, running his thumb over Jack’s hand. “You snuck up on me, Jack Kelly. I never saw it coming, but now I can’t imagine my life without you. You always talk about how much i’ve been there for you, but now it’s time for me to talk about how much you’ve been there for me. You may not know this but, you were my rock. You were the one that kept me together, when classes and clubs became too much and I had to work and then go home and take care of Les. I constantly felt like I was falling apart, but just knowing I got to spend time with you made me smile.I was in a dark place for a while, I felt like I was failing everyone around me, like I wasn’t smart enough, like I wasn't good enough. And I hid it, because I was embarrassed that my own brain was even failing me.”

His eyes met his parents in the crowd and he faltered. He’d never told them that and now he couldn’t wait to have their distressed faces playing on a loop in his head for the rest of eternity.

 “I um, I remember even before we were dating I was just so drained that I didn’t come into school, I just laid in bed staring at nothing. You didn’t call or shoot me a text, you showed up outside of my house and scaled the side of it when I didn’t answer the door. You tumbled in through the window,climbed into bed with me and just started listing every reason why you were proud of me, and I sobbed, ugly sobbed. That was the first time I wanted to say I love you”

He shuddered and tried to compose himself, he could do this. He promised himself he wouldn’t completely break down today.

“And I’ve never wanted to stop saying it since, it ran rampant through my mind until that day at the park where I just blurted it out. Lucky for us, Sarah got that moment on camera”

He gave a subtle nod to blink who pointed a remote at the projector in front of them. On a white screen behind them there they were younger but still so in love, August 14th of 2019. He pressed another button and the video started to play. Jack gasped and leaned in closer as the memory came to life.

“I love you”Jack whispered, bringing a hand up to cup Davey’s cheek. “I love you, Davey. I...this is hard for me, really fucking hard. Kids like me don’t get fairytale”

“No, they don’t”Davey chuckled, blinking away a tear. “But they deserve it, and you deserve it”

“You really are my prince”Jack grinned, “My prince Davey”

Davey brought his own hand up and tapped Jack’s ring finger. “And one day i’ll make you a Prince too. I’m in this for as long as you want me”

“What if I want you forever?”

“Then i’ll stay forever”

“Can you please, kiss already!’Katherine exclaimed, breaking through the veil of privacy. “I mean honestly, we’re all waiting for it!”

The video ended abruptly with an unflattering shot of Race and Spot crying in the canopy and Jack was in hysterics. The guests were practically shaking the ground from how loud they were stomping and clapping. But no one was laughing louder than Race himself.

“That’s what I used to look like!”Race cried out.

“You still look like that,”Jack snorted. Davey shook his head and continued.

“I know this is long already but I'm surprisingly not done”He said, ignoring the groan from practically everyone. “I’m hoping I made good on my promise”He grins, “Because you deserve all of this Jack, and you deserve the best version of myself I can be. I promise to stay by your side through calm seas or choppy waters, I promise to be as patient as I can when things get hard, and I promise to love you entirely for as long as I live. I know things are going to get rough and we are definitely going to fight, but looking at the amazing support we have from both sides. I’m not worried. In sickness and in health, til death do us part Jackie”

“Oh fuck you”Jack gasped, then quickly covered his mouth. “That was...I’m expected to compete with that?”

“Yes, now speak”Blink smirked. Jack resisted the urge to give him the finger and instead faced the guests.

“Don’t expect that same thing from me”He said looking towards the guests, “He minored in English.”He got a few laughs out of them and continued. “I guess this is less of a vow and more of a thank you. Thank you Davey, for seeing the best in me, when nobody else would. Now everyone who knows me knows I love my theatrics, blame my mother, she works for a theatre!”he said in a sing-song voice. “So, I have a little story. I was your typical class clown in school, I was always in the office,always gettin in trouble and always fighting. Those staff members didn’t care, they just wrote me off as some delinquent, and gave up on me. No one took the time of day to see what was actually going on, but Davey tried. And I wouldn’t let him in, I was so scared he would look at me differently, so I just kept it all in here”He said pointing to his chest.

“The final straw was when I went to juvie--oh don’t act surprised! Some of you were there with me!”he scolded. Albert and Mush put their heads down once again.  “I was gone for two months, and he had no idea where I was, no one would tell him. The day I got out we got into the biggest fight in our lives. I’m talkin movie type fight, we was both screamin and throwing things. And I was just running my mouth, saying that he would never understand and I remember him just shouting--imagine Davey shouting--he shouted ‘I can’t understand if you don’t tell me you idiot!”

“Oh my god”Davey chuckled, running a hand over his face. Jack giggled and laced their hands together.

“That was like a lightbulb moment for me. We sat on the roof of my house and I told him everything there was to know about me, from beginning to end. And that made our bond even stronger.” He said. “I love him because he looked at me when I was at my worst and meanest and decided I was still worthy of being treated like a person. I love him because even when we fight it’s just because he wants what’s best for me, even when I'm being stubborn. Being loved by Davey has made me swallow a lot of humble pie in my life and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

He turned to face Davey, and wiped a stray tear off his cheek.

“Davey mine”He started, “I promise to take Luna on walks in the morning because you like to sleep in. I promise to be there for you however I can be and I promise to love you unconditionally because you do the same for me. Til death do us part, baby”

“Til death do us part”Davey repeated, starry eyed.

“Hey hey hey!”Blink scolded, waving his hands. “You’re doing my job for me, at least let me try to look professional!”

“Go on then”Jack said, waving him off.

“Do you, David Jacobs, take Jack Kelly to be your lawfully wedded husband?”Blink said.

“I do”Davey said.

“Do you, Jack Kelly, take David Jacobs to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Hell yes”Jack said, staring at Davey’s lips. He was ready to go in for the kill.

“Then by the power invested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husbands, you may kis--hey!”

Davey had beat him to it. He surged forward with so much force they both went tumbling to the ground. Race squeaked and jumped out of the way ranting about how unbelievable they were, but Jack couldn’t care. Davey’s lips were warm and his body was warm and his hand was cupping his cheek and-

“Alright you two”Blink said, “you are so lucky there aren’t any children here, stand up and have some sort of decency”

“Nah, give me a minute”Jack mumbled, and went right back to kissing Davey. His husband. Oh he could get used to saying that. He only had a few more seconds before Davey was forcefully pulled off of him and pulled over to stand by Sarah. The best part was he was smirking the whole time, he never thought shameless would look so good on Davey, but it was a color he wore well.

“Since these two have no self control”Blink sighed, “I’m going to wrap this up. I now present to you Mr.Jack Kelly-Jacobs and Mr.David Jacobs-Kelly! Now get outta here you two!”

Without a second glance, Jack had surged forward, grabbed Davey and took off running. The hazel eyed man laughed and stumbled behind him but did his best to keep up. They’d be getting an earful from Katherin and Sarah for pulling a stunt like this, but Davey was still learning and spontaneity was his favorite lesson. They kept going until they were well into the gardens and stopped when the roar of the guests could no longer be heard. Jack panted and kneeled bringing Davey down with him. 

“Hey Davey”

“Hey Jackie”Davey giggled.

“We’re fuckin married”

“I know!”Davey exclaimed, he quickly lost his balance and fell on his butt. Before he could get up he had a lap full of Jack Kelly-Jacobs.

“Hey Davey”He pressed his forehead to Davey’s and grinned.

“Yeah?”Davey whispered.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Anything, baby”

“We forgot the rings”

-

The ballroom used for the reception was beautiful. A shiny chandelier hanging from the ceiling,a sea of guest tables and a dance floor perfect for Jack to get drunk and absolutely obliterate. He couldn’t wait. But, it was his wedding and he needed to stay sober for the speeches at least. He was honestly starting to get a little tired, it had been a long day. Leaning his head on Davey’s shoulders he hoped to maybe catch ten minutes while the guests mingled. Davey pouted and brought a hand up to scratch at Jack’s scalp, just the way he liked. He was stupidly in love with this man.

“He’s asleep?”Katherine whispered as she passed by. Davey shook his head and awed internally as Jack groaned and buried his face in his shoulder.

“He just wanted to rest his eyes a bit, I'll keep him awake”He promised. She bit her lip and pointed to the guests who were now finding their seats.

“That would have have to be now”She winced, “We’re about to have the toast and then the speeches”

“I’ll get him up”He said, frowning a bit at Jack’s parted lips. He’d only been out for a few minutes, he must be exhausted. 

“You’re a gem, Davey. I need to make sure nobody is doing anything stupid!”with that she clicked away in her heels,disappearing in the crowd. This was quite the turnout for sure, the room was packed wall to wall. With Davey’s extended family,Jack’s as well along with all of his friends and Spot's gigantic family, they could fill up a stadium. All these people here to see them and Jack was two seconds from slipping into a coma.

“Jack”He whispered, rubbing his cheek. “Jackie, wake up”

“Mmm?”Jack grumbled.

“It’s time for the speeches, ya know? People telling us just how awesome we are”He teased, running that same hand down his neck. Jack squirmed and begrudgingly lifted his head.

“There you are”He said, “And my my my aren’t you beautiful?”

“Go to hell”Jack said, stretching his arms above his hand. 

“I’m already there”He sighed looking around again. Jack’s brows furrowed and he leaned in closer.

“Are you having fun here?”

Davey blinked, that’s not a question he was expecting. But it was sweet. He smiled and pressed a quick kiss to Jack’s lips.

“This is the moment of a lifetime, it’s just a lot to process”He explained. Jack nodded and mumbled a ‘same here’ before leaning back in his chair. Katherine stood at the front of a hall on a stage, with a glass in one hand and a knife in the other. She tapped the side repeatedly until everyone had muted their small talk and looked forward.

“Hello everyone!”she exclaimed, “I hope everyone is having a good time so far! Dinner will be served shortly but first we have some speeches prepared from the families of the grooms. Be prepared to laugh,cry and you’ll want to have your camera out because someone will  definitely do something embarrassing! Firstly we have Racetrack Higgins, brother to Jack and his best man!”

The guests cheered and Race stood up from his seat and walked towards the stage, Spot in tow. He shot Jack a smile and grabbed the microphone that was left for him.

“I want to start this off by thanking everyone who showed up. This packed ass room is just a testimony to how loved these two really are.”He said, Jack grinned and leaned in closer. This had to be good.

“ Now i’ll spare you most of the sob story. The way I met Jack Kelly was a little place called the refuge. I got there when I was two, and I don’t remember this but i’m told that I would scream for hours at night unless I was sharing a bed with him. I don’t know, call it fate but he was the person I decided to cling to.”he said and chuckled, rubbing his eyes.

 “I was so angry all the time that no one else wanted to be bothered with me but he...he dealt with me I guess. Soon enough I would never leave his side, I don’t have a memory there without him with me. Then Charlie came along”He shot a playful glare at Charlie, “and I was no longer the cute and small one, but it was fine because Jack always looked out for both of us. I’ll always say that Jack was my first parent and Medda was my second. It shouldn’t have been that way but..I-I...I’m sorry”he croaked.He turned his back to the guests and buried his face in the crook of Spots neck. 

Jack’s heart dropped.

“Holy shit”Jack said with a shaky sigh, sure he knew he did a lot but he didn’t think it meant this much to him. Davey squeezed his hand and gave a tight smile, tears pooling in his eyes.

“Holy shit is right”

Race took a few minutes to collect himself and turned back around, tears still streaming down his face.

“I-I can’t think right now and it’s really annoying cause I practiced this for weeks but I just wanted to say that Jack is my brother and my best friend and i’m just so happy that he has Davey, because Davey you make him so fucking happy. Kids like us aren’t expected to go anywhere in life, but he has Medda, he has us and now he has you. I wish you guys the best and please make me an uncle soon okay bye thank you” with that he quickly left the stage and leapt into Jack’s arms sending them both flying backwards.

“Ow, Racer. What the he-”

“I’m so proud of you, Jack”He said quickly, “I-I know I haven’t been the best brother or the nicest to you but I need you to know that I love you”

“Okay okay!”Jack said, clutching his hip. “I love you too, punk. We can talk more about this later, but get off of me!”

“C’mon, Tony,”Spot sighed, picking up the mess of limbs. Once Race was on his feet, he bent over and helped Jack up. “Congratulations Jack, you’ve been a pain in my ass as long as i’ve known this kid, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Davey, you keep him out of prison”

“On my honor,”Davey said.

“Yeah, you too Conlon”Jack said, “Who knows, you might be next”

“Oh, Spotty! We should get married!”he gasped. Spot groaned and shook his head.

“You play dirty Kelly,”Spot said.

“It’s the only way to play”Jack smirked, “Go take him for some fresh air, I don’t want him to get antsy”

“Aye aye”Spot said, practically dragging Race out of the room by his suspenders.

Katherine emerged back to the stage and clapped raising her glass. “That is Jack Kelly down for the sixth time today and yes we’ve been keeping score! Next to the stage we have my lovely,intelligent,incredibly charasm-”

“This ain’t about you!”Jack exclaimed. Katherin gave him the finger and continued. “You know her,you love her, my wife Sarah Jacobs, brother to the groom Davey and his best woman! Come on up here, pumpkin!”

Sarah made her way to the stage, and placed a kiss to Katherine’s cheek. “Hello!”Sarah called out to the audience.

 “Unlike the rest of these saps I'm going to try not to cry”She said, “For those who don’t know, Davey here is my twin, and honestly my built in best friend. We’ve been joined at the hip since we could walk,and I know him like the back of my hand. I couldn’t imagine a better fit for him than Jack. Davey was a shy kid, really serious too. Not many kids got along with him because he didn’t like running around or hand games or kickball, he liked sitting off to the side and reading. So he wasn’t really given a chance to show how amazing he was the first few years of school. That was until a little boy who called himself cowboy Jack basically bulldozed his walls and threw himself into Davey’s life.”

Jack laughed and threw his arm around Davey’s shoulder, “That’s true!”

Sarah laughed as well, and continued. “And let me tell you, Davey was pissed at first. He couldn’t understand why this boy wouldn’t leave him the hell alone because oh my god was Jack persistent! It was ridiculous! But little did he know that annoying little boy would become his best friend and later his husband.”

Davey smiled and pressed a hand over his heart.

“My brother is a little hard to read at times, he doesn’t like giving all his tells to just anybody. But what a lot of you don’t know is that he’s caring and kind and cried for hours when he ran over a rabbit--yes that is true. He wears his feelings right on his face, you just need to know how to read him. And Jack could read him just as well as I could which terrified him. He wasn’t used to anybody but me,our parents and eventually Les. He was terrified of getting hurt, he didn’t want to know what heartbreak felt like so he never even tried.”She said.

 “But Jack brought out a different side of him, a side no one had ever seen. He became spontaneous, and more outgoing and actually alive! It freaked us all out at first because we didn’t know why he was changing, but little did we know this was just the beginning of a new Davey. It’s just weird to have known that shy little bookworm and see him become such a social butterfly. I can see people snoring so I’ll get off now, congrats you guys. I love you Davey”

The guests cheered and Sarah made her way off the stage. Jack was looking at him like he had three heads.

“What?”

“You Jacobs ain’t got any emotions or somethin?”He exclaimed, wiping his eyes. “None of your family is cryin, that was beautiful!”

“We cry on the inside, baby”Davey soothed, pulling Jack’s chair closer to his.

“That’s...that’s not good-”

“Alright, everyone!”Katherine said, “This is the last speech we have on schedule for today, so don’t panic. Next up to the stage we have Charlie Morris, baby brother to the groom Jack and one of his groomsmen!”

With a bit of help from Medda, Charlie made his way to the stage. He shot a thankful look at Katherine who brought up a chair, it had indeed been a long day. He grabbed the microphone and plopped down in the seat.

“Thank god”He sighed, a grin when the guests laughed. “Now, I’m going to try and keep this short for Jack’s sake, he looks like he’s about dead on his feet” Jack sighed, he knew this boy was a natural comedian, but if this speech was more than five minutes he would smother him in his sleep.

“Skip the commentary!”Jack called out, then winced when Davey flicked his neck. 

“Would you let me say my speech? You’re lucky I wrote one”He said, “Now, just like Racer said, I can’t remember a time in my life without Jack being there. We fight a lot because I’ve still got that younger brother charm and he just can’t get over it--alright alright! I’ll be serious.”He chuckled after a wad of tissue was thrown at him.

 “Davey was introduced into my life from a young age, once he finally accepted his doom, he began to come over a lot. And I loved playing with Davey, he would teach me how to make paper airplanes,origami and he would read to me, that was luxury treatment in this household, okay. But he would only come over a few times a week, which I understood because he did have a family and all that jazz.”He said, gesturing in the direction of the Jacobs family. Mayer stood up from his seat and waved. 

 “But as those two got older, he was there every single day. And then I started wondering, why is Davey always here? Until I got up one night to get coco puffs and saw them kissing on the couch-”He smirked as the hall erupted in ooo’s “-and my pea sized thirteen year old brain went ohhhhh and I screamed ‘ewww they’re kissing!’”

Davey groaned and buried his face in Jack’s shoulder, he wanted to forget that day ever happened.

 “Which of course woke up the whole house, Jack did get in trouble and yes, I'm still paying him back for that to this day. This speech is not for Jack, no. I want to say thank you to Davey for taking the time to be so nice to me, unlike this man-”

“Get off the stage, Charlie!”Jack booed, putting his thumb down. Charlie blew a raspberry.

“In all seriousness, I'm really happy for you two. I’m not good with affection and stuff but Jack, you know I love you. And of course I'll thank you until the day I die for taking care of me. You’re one of the best big brothers I can ask for, i’m happy you’re getting married and please hold off on making me an uncle”

The applause were deafening, maybe it was Charlie’s humor or maybe they were excited for dinner, the world may never know. Jack was clapping the loudest, he was excited for dinner. Medda helped Charlie off the stage and gladly he went back to his seat. Jack let out of a sigh of relief, he was not ready to make that score seven, his back was killing him.

“Those were really sweet,”Davey commented. Jack rolled his eyes.

“Sweet but long, ‘m tired Davey”He whined.

“I know, sweetheart,”Davey said. “I know, but it’ll all be over soon”

“Promise me we don’t gotta get up tomorrow”He said.

“We can lay around all day,”Davey promised. “We can eat breakfast in bed and cuddle with Luna and sleep the day away”

“Oh my god, Luna”He perked up, “Where is my baby girl?”

“Our baby girl”Davey corrected, “She’s with Les upstairs”

“It got too loud for them, huh”

“Yeah, he texted me like an hour ago that he needed a break”Davey said.

“I sure as hell would like a break too”He grumbled.

“I know”Davey sighed, “are you still having fun?”

“I am”He said, “I am and I know how much work you put into today, I...i’m just reachin a limit, ya know?”

“I know”Davey nodded, “If it gets unbearable, let me know. I’ll tell Katherine to entertain everyone and we can take a break.”

Jack leaned in and pressed his forehead against Davey’s. “You’re so sweet with me”

“I’ll do anything for you,”Davey promised.

“Alright, let’s break up the romance!”Katherine said, taking a seat at their table. 

“Where do you keep comin from?”Jack groaned.

“Hell”She said easily, “Dinner is on it’s way out and I haven’t seen you eat anything but a bagel today”

“He did what?”Davey said.

“It’s not important”She said quickly, “Look, I know he’s exhausted. Just get him through dinner and i’ll cover until it’s time for the dances which aren’t until-”She pulled out her phone and scrolled, “-10pm, it’s 8 now, just make sure he eats and then get him out of here”

“You’re a saint”

“I take my maid of honor duty very serious”She said with a wink, “My phone is on all night so just shoot me a text if anything happens”

“Noted”Davey said, “Now how about you take a little break, you’ve been on your feet all day”

“I would, but I gotta keep things running smoothly”She said.

“Everyone is fine”Davey said, “Have dinner with us, bring Sarah too. It’ll be just like high school”

“Yeah with fancy gowns and fancy food”

“It’ll be like high school cause it’s us”Davey said, rolling his eyes. “now go get her”

“You promise we won’t be intruding?”she asked, “You’ve barely been alone all day”

“I got the rest of my life to be alone with him”Jack said, “today’s about friends and family”

“You have our word, Kath”Davey said, “now go”

-

After a well earned nap, Jack soon became the life of the party. He slid his way to the dance floor,drink in hand and ready to get this party started. Davey for one couldn’t believe he had married a toddler. Naps did nothing for him, he always woke up feeling disoriented and gross. But almost any of Jack’s problems could be solved by a nap, it was scary sometimes. But he was relieved that Jack felt better, they were going to be here for a while. Guests were supposed to be leaving around 11:30pm, and they had to be out of the castle by 1:00am because another wedding was happening that day and the staff needed to clean up. Then they had the drive from here to home which was four hours so they wouldn’t be home until 5am. Davey sighed, he didn’t drink for personal reasons but he’d never been so tempted to take a shot in his life.

“What’s wrong?”Katherine asked, and dear god she did seem to just pop up everywhere.

“Hmm?”he hummed.

“You’ve got that vacant look in your eyes, it’s the same one Sarah gets when she’s stressed”She said.

“Oh boy am I stressed”He sighed, “Just thinking about how long it’s gonna be until we get home”

“Well”She grinned, “This was supposed to be a surprise but you look like you could use some cheering up”

“Please”He said, clinging to her shoulder.

“We hired a clean up crew!”she said, doing jazz hands.

“Oh my god I love you”He all but melted against her.

“Yup!”she smirked, “Which means all we have to do is pack our bags and high tail it home, shouldn’t take any longer than twenty minutes”

“Thank you so much, Kath”He said, “home is still...it’s just so far”

“I’ll drive you guys home”She said, “Sarah and I already talked about this. It’s been such a long day and I know you’re both exhausted, plus Jack is drinking like a monster”

“That’s...I don’t know what to say,”he said.

“You don’t have to say anything, Davey”She said, “We’re family, you two were such a big help at our wedding that it’s the least we could do”

“I like helping,”He said earnestly. “I’d do it again”

“Noted,”She said, eyes scanning over his shoulder. “If you wanna help, go get your husband. You know how he gets when he’s drunk and-”She paused, listening to the music “-Shakira is playing”

“Oh god”Davey groaned, “I-you know where to find me!”

-

The remainder of the reception went off without a hitch. The first dances were as sweet as expected, Jack did shed a few tears as he danced with Medda but mostly kept it together. The bouquet toss went well, Race caught the first one and Spot football tackled Skittery to catch the second. The cake was cut, and the guests were out at 11:30pm on the dot. Jack and Davey had practically sprinted up the stairs and packed up their belongings in record time. The day had been magical,they couldn’t wait to look back on the pictures, but it was time to go home. A little after midnight Davey found himself saying goodbye to Sarah and squeezing into the backseat of their car with Luna fast asleep. If you asked him what had happened in the last hour he honestly couldn’t tell you, he stopped processing it around 10pm. Jack wasn’t any better but for different reasons. A drunk Jack was a handsy Jack and maybe Davey should have taken the front seat.

“Let me love you!”Jack whined as he once again grabbed at Davey’s leg.

“You’re drunk”

“You’re hot”

“Thank you, baby”

“Keep it pg back there,”Katherine said, eyeing them in the rear view mirror.

“Tell that to him!”He said, placing Luna on Jack’s lap. “Here, take the puppy”

Jack squealed with delight and focused his attention on that. Katherine stifled a laugh and focused her eyes on the road. Davey sighed.

It was going to be a long four hours.

-

“Thank you, Kath”Davey yawned, stepping out of the car. “I really appreciate it”

“It’s no problem”She replied, stepping out to stretch. “Do you mind if I crash here?”

“Not at all”He said, “there’s a key under the mat, let yourself in. I need to get Jack and Lu”

“Got it,”She said.

Davey walked around to the opposite side of the car and opened the door. 

“Be free”he said. Luna leapt out of Jack’s lap and happily trotted up the stairs. Jack was dead asleep, alcohol and exhaustion seemed to work better than any melatonin he’s ever taken. He leaned into the car and picked him up bridal style, closing the door with his hip. Katherine, ever the saint, had left the door open for them. 

Once he was inside he quickly padded into the bedroom, dumping Jack on the bed. He knew he should probably be a good host and make sure Katherine was comfortable but he couldn’t stand  being awake a minute longer. He closed the door and stripped down to his boxers. He was exactly one second away from jumping into bed before he realized that Jack was fully dressed.

Fuck.

He leaned over and shook Jack’s shoulders.

“Mm?”

“You gotta get naked”He said, then blinked. That’s not what he wanted to say but it got his point across.

“Do it for me”Jack mumbled and lifted his hips up.

Davey sighed and bent down to take off his shoes. “You’re so spoiled”

“Your fault”Jack mumbled. “You made me spoiled”

Next came the socks and pants. “Because I like spoiling you”

“Then stop complaining”

Davey snorted and pulled off his blazer. “I’m not complaining, i’m stating a fact”

“Gonna be so hungover”Jack groaned.

Davey started to unbutton his shirt. “Sounds like a you problem”

“You’re such an ass”

“Am not”Davey said, pulling his arms out. “No one told you to drink like the world was ending”

“I tol’ me to”

“Well you have terrible judgement” he pressed a kiss to Jack’s forehead, “You’re all done”

“Mmmthank you Davey”

Davey finally climbed into bed and relished in the mattress under his back. “No problem, now go to sleep”

Jack mumbled something in agreement and opened his arms, Davey tilted his head.

“ ‘m big spoon tonight, deal with it”He said and well Davey wasn’t going to argue, he was rarely ever the little spoon. He scooted back into Jack’s arms and god he was so warm. He felt a hand carding through his hair and he let out a low hum. This, this is what he had been waiting for all day. And it had been worth it. A full two years of planning,taking on extra projects,living on a tight budget and sheer hope had gotten him the day of a lifetime. And some funny twist of fate got him the man of a lifetime. He didn’t know who or what he had to thank for giving him Jack Kelly, but he found himself thanking the universe. It hadn’t been easy getting to this point, they had fought and argued and screamed and cried, but it was worth it. After all, every fairytale has to start somewhere, and it started the moment they said I do. And the end--well, that’s a long time away so let’s focus on the now. The present feels like a dream and the end is nowhere in sight, their fairytale was just beginning.

And Davey couldn’t wait to see where it took them.

[thestuckylibrary]

A Year in Reading: 2019 - Julia

2019 wasn’t kind, but fandom is always there to cheer you up. Under the cut is a list of my favorite 2019 reads <3

Please make sure to check the additional tags for each of them and happy reading!

January

The Pajama Party Incident by follow_the_sun (oneshot | 1,455 | T)

A pajama party goes horribly wrong, then wonderfully right.

heartbeat going strong by fireflyslove (oneshot | 4,364 | T)

Steve's been sent to kill the dragon holding the Princess hostage, but the Princess isn't a hostage, and the dragon isn't what he seems.

I’m a Sucker for a Wild Boy by jinlinli (complete | 9,897 | T)

Steve is a vampire who’s never met a werewolf in his life before. Bucky is a werewolf who doesn’t even know vampires exist. Naturally, neck biting means two very different things to them.

In which Steve goes for a midnight snack and accidentally gets himself werewolf married.

The Very Heart of It by merryofsoul (oneshot | 17,743 | M) - Restricted

In which Captain America adopts a dog from Bucky and they become friends — and then more.

call me old-fashioned by I_mNotYourEnemy (oneshot | 7,458 | T)

Steve rises before the sun, runs through various exercises until his muscles burn and sweat gathers on his brow. He showers and dresses and eats, and then heads out the door with dampness still clinging to his hair. His path doesn’t cross with anyone else’s until he reaches the local subway station. He jogs down the stairs to the platform and sees the man waiting there once again, the sergeant.

Or: Bucky joins Steve on his morning commute. Steve draws him and gets his number.

the long walk home by Deisderium (oneshot | 3,566 | E)

On the walk back from Azzano, Bucky keeps touching Steve's chest. Then he touches it some more. And more.

Steve bites his lip raw. AKA tiddy fic

Heckin' Chunker for Love by canistakahari (oneshot | 2,708 | T)

On the inside of the big floor to ceiling window of the office across the street, someone has used Post-it Notes to spell out a message:

W H A T I S Y O U R C A T ’ S N A M E ?

February

bucky barnes and the art class by belovedmuerto (oneshot | 1,420 | T)

Bucky takes an art class, because he wants to spend more time with Steve.

Patience by cleo4u2 (oneshot | 5,073 | E)

You should never Google yourself. Steve knows that, he's been out of the ice for over a year, but he just can't help himself. After finding a gorgeous, sexy brunette thirst tweeting about calling him Daddy, he can't help himself from responding, either.

i want it, i got it by bornes (oneshot | 1,499 | T)

Ten minutes into their impromptu mall adventure, Steve has offered to buy Bucky a designer sofa he had sat on briefly to rest his legs, a $600 headband, and a diamond-encrusted butterfly clip

Remember How to Love by betoning (oneshot | 3,852 | T)

“We shared a bed,” Bucky remembers, "and your toes were freezin’. We didn’t – nothing more, though.”

“No, Buck,” Steve swallows. “Nothing more.”

(Bucky wants more.)

tease me, squeeze me by goodmanperfectsoldier (oneshot | 3,757 | E) - Restricted

It isn’t his fault that Steve has absolutely no sense of modesty. It isn’t his fault that Steve has no desire to be in his Captain America uniform any longer than strictly necessary. It isn’t his fault that Steve tends to start disrobing as soon as they hit friendly airspace, so that he can pull on a t-shirt and sweatpants before they even make it back to headquarters, much less get home to their apartment.

The Fool in the Mirror by thepinupchemist (complete | 111,489 | E) - violence, check additional tags for warnings!

The Avengers, SHIELD, and the world at large have underestimated the pain that Steve Rogers is in.

The night after a near brush with a suicide attempt, Steve discovers the world of support omegas, and in his desperation for relief from the battlefield of his brain, demands to have one.

Enter Bucky Barnes: retired marine, millennial, amputee, brother, son, and support omega. He maybe, just maybe, can help a broken alpha heal in the twenty-first century.

The Best Way to Wake by LeeHan (oneshot | 42,285 | E)

James Buchanan Barnes lay in a glass pod in the middle of the table, frozen since he fell. Steve’s hands were on the glass before he realized he’d moved. “Wait, Captain!” “Get him out,” Steve whispered, his hands searching for a clasp, a keypad, something. “Captain, we need to keep him in stasis—“ “I said get him out!”

March

Taken by Surprise by Mireille (oneshot | 1,606 | E)

It turned out that there were things Bucky didn't know about Steve, after all. 

In the Shadow of Armistice by superheroresin (complete | 63,491 | E)

Sedryn Amathion is a young Ñoldor elf born of lower Himring near the end of the harrowed Second Age. Vice-Captain of the Forlindon Shieldmasters, herald of the High King Gil-Galad, and devotee of Eärendil, the Star of High Hope.

Or, as the ragtag Dúnedain troupe known as the Howling Commandos calls him, Steve.

The Commandos are to sabotage an orc signal tower deep within the Ephel Dúath mountains, clearing the way for the armies of the Last Alliance to march on Barad-dûr and rescue all of Middle-earth from the clutches of this new and terrible Dark Lord.

“Steve” has no way of knowing that love formed deep behind enemy lines would settle so completely inside his immortal heart, defying time, distance, and ultimately death itself.

Tinder Is the Night by rohkeutta (oneshot | 6,802 | E)

It’s the quality that gets him first. The profile photo looks like it's been taken with a semi-professional camera: it's sharp and remarkably unposed compared to most people on Tinder. The guy in the photo is the size of a fucking fridge but with Marilyn Monroe’s waistline, accentuated by the way he’s standing half-twisted towards the camera.

He’s also in the process of getting arrested.

Steve, 28, it says under the photo. New York City. Some say I have an arresting personality. This photo is from my good side. The other has a shiner.

Introduction to Fake Dating Your Best Friend 101 by crinklefries (oneshot | 24,627 | T)

Bucky stares at his best friend as though he’s absolutely lost what’s left of his dumbass mind.

“Excuse me?” he asks dumbly.

Steve sighs and sags back onto the couch, covering his face dramatically with one large, well-manicured hand.

“Dean Coulson thinks we’re dating. And gay. But like, for each other. And now I need you to fake date me so I can convince the Chancellor to fund my research.”

or;

Steve and Bucky are a pair of professors who have to fake date for academic purposes and are real dumb along the way. It's not so much a forest of pine as a whole landscape of it. It turns out fine, probably.

straight from your heart by luninosity (oneshot | 10,516 | E) - check additional tags for warnings!

Steve doesn’t mean to have the orgasm. Not exactly. Not the first time, anyway.

It’s the leather and the buckles and the capable stance. It’s the determination: familiar, and not. Steve doesn’t even know which mission this had been. Where this snapshot of the Winter Soldier had been captured, a splinter out of time. Too many to choose from. But that doesn’t matter.

His skin prickles, his heart races in supersoldier extra-double-time, with want.

Things That Go Bump in the Night by seapigeon, velleities (complete | 38,266 | E)

Many an odd critter and item have ended up on the front porch of the property Bucky house-sits in the Middle Of Nowhere, but a bleeding blond man is a first. A short inspection reveals the man to be none other than Steve Rogers; ex-Captain America, vigilante, and a wanted fugitive. Steve’s stay of a few days of recovery is prolonged, under instructions for him to lie low until the Avengers can sort out the mess that has become the Sokovia Accords. Bucky is pretty sure that he’s committing an act of treason by providing Steve a place to stay. He is also pretty sure that lengthy interaction with Steve makes one prone to impending headaches and possibly ulcers. And he is certain that he is, very assuredly, in danger of falling in love with Steve.

skin by mcwho (oneshot | 1,945  | E)

Steve is spooning Bucky, an arm draped loosely around his middle, laying on the large sofa opposite the TV. His lips are against Bucky’s hair, breathing him in.

It’d be an average Thursday night if it wasn’t for Steve being buried to the hilt inside of him and showing no signs of moving any time soon.

Rouge Fétiche by bangyababy, Neutralchaos (oneshot | 6,941 | E)

“Steve,” Bucky breathed, coming closer. “Stevie, what’s all this?”

Steve made no move to cover himself, now that Bucky had seen it, there was no point. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the ground. “What’s it look like?” he bit out. “I’m wearin’ women’s panties, that’s what it is.”

-

Steve has been keeping a secret from Bucky-sometimes he likes to wear women's underwear. He thinks it's wrong and he shouldn't want to do it, but he can't help it, so he keeps it to himself. But when Bucky walks in on him one day, Steve eventually has to explain himself. Of course, as it turns out, he was worried about nothing.

Army Proof by aetataureate (complete | 18,423 | T)

Despite his recent and unexpected promotion from green recruit to national icon and media darling Captain America, Steve Rogers still lacks the skills and experience necessary to thrive in the Army. First Sergeant Tony Stark has dealt with decades of tomfoolery from his subordinates, but nothing has quite prepared him for the particular brand of chaos that trails in Steve's wake.

Steve's team includes at least one competent adult in Sam Wilson, but also contains Clint Barton, a mechanic who cheats at cards and still loses, and Natasha Romanov, their terrifying police escort. Together, the gang must navigate across Eastern Europe without causing Steve’s next major international incident.

On the other side of the world, Bucky Barnes is contending with a new reality while doing what he can to keep his accidental hero boyfriend on the path that will eventually lead him home.

much tattoo about nothing by Deisderium (oneshot | 14,576 | E)

Steve Rogers gets a lot of email requests, but never one like this: James Barnes wants to use his healing factor to practice tattoos.

Turns out tattoos give Steve boners.

before we can breathe easy by belovedmuerto (oneshot | 22,052 | T)

No one touches Steve.

Bucky sets out to do something about that.

April

Count On Me Like One, Two, Three by MacksDramaticShenanigans (oneshot | 4,235 | G)

“I also need to get one of those scooter things,” Bucky adds. “That’s gotta be better than these damn crutches.” Steve’s eyes drop down to the crutches again, and he frowns. “Crutches are never comfortable,” he agrees, shaking his head. “You want a piggyback ride?” He asks, grinning as he laughs at his own joke. Bucky ducks his head and laughs along, a good-natured smile settling over his lips. “Yeah, that would be real nice, wouldn’t it?” He says, not thinking anything of it. When he looks back up, however, Steve’s already in the process of shrugging his backpack off of his shoulders. The smile melts off of Bucky’s face and his brows furrow together. Was that… a serious offer?

stay by birdjay (oneshot | 1,318 | T)

The platform buzzes, and suddenly goes quiet. The cycle has finished. Bucky doesn’t bother to look. There’s no way Steve’s coming back when he has the chance to stay. He moves to walk away, to move on with his life, somehow.

“Buck -- ?”

Bucky whirls around, hair flying.

might never be normal again (but who cares) by napricot (complete | 51,540 | E)

The beginnings of a plan took shape in Steve’s mind, as clear and simple as a tactical frontal assault. He’d prove to Bucky that this was it, he was staying: Steve was retired from the fighting game, Steve wasn’t going to let anything keep pulling them apart. Maybe then when Steve finally told him he loved him, Bucky would believe him.

All things considered, Steve thought he’d handled the whole Thanos killing half the universe thing and the ensuing bitter, desperate quest to defeat him pretty well. Sacrificing his super soldier serum to use one of the Infinity Stones wasn't a problem either, not when it meant getting back the half of the universe they'd lost, and especially not when it meant getting Bucky back. But retirement and finally confessing his feelings for Bucky? Those were proving to be more challenging.

May

Smile by WinterTheWriter (oneshot | 2,205 | E)

They say Bucky never smiles, and that's true.

Almost.

The Settler by charlesdk (complete | 52,203 | M)

“What do you want to do?”

Steve pauses and looks at them.

What he wants is to stay with them. He doesn't have any family left, they all died before he even joined the war and became... this. Captain America turned whatever he is now. But Natasha and Sam have become his family over the years. Not just because they're on the run together, fugitives and vigilantes, but way before that too.

He doesn't want to leave that.

But he knows that, realistically, he can't stay with them and they can't stay with him.

So he looks at them with a smile and lies. “I don't know.”

OR; In which Steve retires and finally finds a place to call home.

And fill our bodies up like water till we know by caughtinanocean (oneshot | 22,705 | T)

Wolves mate for life. It's both the best thing about Bucky's life, and the most inconvenient.

After six days in Steve’s arms, Bucky dreams again, for the first time since the ice — wolf dreams, four feet on the ground, the smell of the earth, and his eyes in the sky.

The moon is coming, and this reprieve — like all reprieves — is temporary.

June

Home Is Wherever I'm With You by cydonic (complete | 88,570 | E)

This is what happens when you buy a house to flip having only seen the online images: you get more than you bargained for. Bucky Barnes brings all the tools to handle a dilapidated home, but he's hardly prepared for a smart-mouthed child (with poor aim), a crying baby, and the hottest dad he's ever seen in his life living right next door.

That House-Flipper!AU.

People Change, Love Doesn't by Kateis_Cakeis (complete | 119,144 | E)

Bucky didn't fall from the train. Steve didn't die when he jumped out of the plane. They survived.

But suddenly, it wasn't enough to keep their feelings hidden. They had both almost died, only to come back stronger. Well, Steve was done pretending they were only friends, and Bucky was done too.

Surviving the war, however, brought so many challenges. Being SSR agents, eventually becoming SHIELD, building a family with their friends. Living. What would happen as the years ticked on?

miles to go before i sleep by alby_mangroves, obsessivereader (complete | 34,079 | E)

Vietnam vet Bucky is just trying to get a hot meal, and maybe a job, in the small town of Hope, but the local law enforcement has other ideas. When their brutality triggers a flashback, Bucky snaps and escapes from their custody. Hunted, exhausted, injured, he finds shelter for the night next to a cabin in the middle of the woods. He means to be long gone before the cabin's occupant awakes. Things don't turn out quite the way he expected.

All of Your Love is Sunlight by canistakahari, WarlockInTraining (oneshot | 22,657 | E)

Sometimes the path to happiness involves bad timing turned good, a butt plant, and a little everyday magic. For Steve and Bucky, it's all that and more.

if you're looking for jesus (then get on your knees) by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 18,171 | E)

S.H.I.E.L.D Agent Bucky Barnes is captured on a mission and meets Commander Steve Rogers, the erstwhile Captain America.

A Year in the Life of Sarge's Person by Angst_BuriTTo, BlueSimplicity (complete | 189,125 | E) 

This is the tale of a year in the life of Sarge’s person, AKA James Buchanan Barnes, as he tries to recover from everything that’s happened to him over the past eighty years. During that time, he is forced to deal with bad therapists, people with their own agendas, memories he doesn’t want, horrible losses from his past and almost insurmountable odds.

But this is also the story of all the crazy people Bucky meets along the way, who help him when he’s at his lowest, point him in the right direction when he feels lost, make him laugh, grow to love him for who he is, and most importantly, give him hope when he needs it most.

It’s a long and difficult journey, as Bucky works not just to let go of his past, but to also rebuild his own identity and a future for himself. And with Sarge at his side, Bucky slowly comes to realize that not everything he once loved is lost, and if he can just have enough faith in himself and those around him, he might, just might, get his very own happy ending.

Bucky IS Sarge’s person after all. As the once abandoned puppy Bucky saved one night from freezing to death, he knows, more than anyone, just how much Bucky deserves it.

Let this be light work by caughtinanocean (oneshot | 8,628 | T)

On the run with Sam and Natasha, Steve finds the words to describe his commitment to Bucky. As with most of Steve’s decisions, there are unintended consequences.

July

everything the water can be by jehans (oneshot | 5,622 | E)

“So,” Bucky continues slowly, his blush deepening, “you get the best time today. . . ,” he takes a breath, drops his voice even lower, and soughs, “I’ll let you take off my clothes. All of ‘em.”

Shit.

Steve suddenly realizes what a fucking moron he is for having initiated this line of flirtation here at the pool and right before practice.

it don't mean a thing (if it ain't got that swing) by carissima (oneshot | 6,375 | M)

“Alright,” Bucky says and stands with his hands on his hips and gives Steve a narrowed glare. “Hit me. What went wrong?”

“I uh, don’t actually know?” Steve says, and now he feels an embarrassed flush creep over his cheeks. “She stood me up.”

Bucky stares at him. Blinks once. And stares some more. “You,” he says flatly. “You got stood up?”

An Act of Kindness by greyhavensking (complete | 12,716 | T)

In which Bucky Barnes ignores personal boundaries and Steve Rogers gets increasingly flustered.

(Or five times Bucky manhandled Steve + one time it was the other way around)

crowding the hitter by rooonil_waazlib (complete | 12,917 | E)

But the trash monsters are coming closer, and Bucky’s going to be pissed if he has to get his grate replaced tomorrow.

He turns off the panini press, heads into his bedroom, and pulls his college baseball bat out of the closet, pausing only to pull on the slacks he’d just taken off. He’s going to go defend his shop, and he’s not going to do it in his underpants.

August

time on my hands (could be time spent with you) by thedoubteriswise (oneshot |  23,024 | M)

"You doing okay, kid?”

Steve releases a breath, deciding how honest he wants to be. No point in lying. No point in telling the truth, either. "Glad to see you."

"That’s not what I asked, but same to you, punk."

Quench by AidaRonan (complete | 9,417 | E)

Or the one where archeology intern Bucky Barnes meets actual archeologist Steve Rogers and reaches levels of thirst scientists once believed to be theoretically impossible.

I'll hold on a little tighter (maybe you'll stay the night) by glittercake (complete |  10,393 | E)

"No strings. I ain't got time for strings." Steve murmurs.

Bucky nods helplessly.

"Be discreet." Steve continues kissing his neck and talking, now also rubbing and squeezing his thigh. "Condoms, always. Back out anytime you want. And sweetheart—"

"Hm?" Bucky hums in a delirious daze as Steve works all the way down to his collarbone and bites, making Bucky jolt forward.

"I like it rough, don't do it any other way. If that ain't your thing, we gotta call it off right now."

this love immortal is an assassin's delight by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 12,954 | E)

After the Battle of New York, Captain America refuses to work for S.H.I.E.L.D and remains in New York. Alexander Pierce activates the Winter Soldier to handle the situation and unknowingly signs Hydra’s death warrant.

Watch With Glittering Eyes by Kellyscams (oneshot | 6,746 | E)

Witch Steve and familiar Bucky have a fun night together.

Happiness is a handful by pamurai (oneshot | 1,274 | E)

Steve's pecs compel Bucky's memories to return faster. Together they explore what makes them happy and what the future holds.

(It's Steve's tits.)

It's Been a Long, Long Time by non_tiembo_mala (oneshot | 11,862 | E)

It's been a thing almost as long as they have, since before Steve grew up and filled out his serum-given body. Connection, comfort-- whatever it is, it grounded them then and, as it turns out, it grounds them now, many decades and disasters later.

Or: the one where Steve's beautiful tits help Bucky get his memory back.

September

Do What You Did by Bentrumors (oneshot | 1,075 | E)

“Come finish what you started,” Bucky mumbles into the pillow.

“I can’t. Sam’s waiting for me.”

Bucky turns his head and glares at Steve through bleary eyes. “You’re going to leave me hanging?”

Steve shrugs.

a slow start by birdjay (oneshot | 2,689 | E)

It’s a gorgeous sight, Steve spread out like this. He wants to lick, wants to bite, wants inside where he’s hot and tight. Wants to make Steve make that gasping noise that he loves so much.

All in good time.

An Apple in the American Pie by Kimra (oneshot | 2,479 | M)

At the end of CAWS Steve runs off with Bucky, and also falls pregnant. Go figure.

October

All the sweetness and all the glory by pes (oneshot | 2,916 | M)

“Do you know,” Steve began softly, mindful of the sleeping child, “I can’t tell whom she takes after the most just yet, but one thing I know for certain. This,” he said, tracing Annie’s dimpled chin with the very tip of his finger, “this she got from your side of the family.”

(In which a visit to Bucky's new niece kindles all sorts of feelings, and a precious little secret comes to light.)

Give Up the Ghost by humapuma (complete | 44,541 | E)

Bucky Barnes is an anomaly; he's physically an Omega but has the body of an Alpha. He has a lot of the stubbornness too. Steve Rogers is an anomaly; he's a romantic and he believes in the traditions his parents raised him with. There's something about Steve that makes Bucky's Omega brain say, Mine. There's something about Bucky that makes Steve want to be more than a little reckless.

ever just as sure by ariadne_odair (complete | 7,938 | M)

“Your boyfriend is here.”

It’s take Steve a second to realise Sharon is talking to him; it then takes him even longer to respond and to stop choking on his reply. “I - er, is he?”

Sharon eyes him up like he’s lost his mind. “Well, the guy currently parking his crappy car in our car park is definitely not mine.”

Steve and Bucky are idiots. They're also in love. Obnoxiously so. Alternatively titled: Five times someone has a front-row seat to Steve and Bucky's relationship.

Where the Heart Is by Chancy_Lurking (oneshot | 12,133 | T)

“Couples are more than welcome to room together.”

Steve freezes up, feels his eyes go a little wide before he can help himself. He stumbles over his words, “Oh, I—No, we’re not—”

“We’re not going to give you any trouble about that,” Fury presses, turning to squint at them head on. “Stark likes to say we’re opened minded and close-knit. Your private life is your business, but you don’t need to hide here, understand?”

Steve goes to reiterate that they’re not a couple, but startles when Bucky’s hand settles on the small of his back. He looks at him like he’s lost his mind, but Bucky’s just smiling at him. “Never can be too careful these days,” he says.

(Steve and Bucky pretend to be a couple when they move in, but at some point, it stops feeling like pretend.)

Like gifts under trees by pes (oneshot | 6,528 | T)

Inside the leather satchel, bundled in a few layers of cloth, was the smooth swell of an egg. A dragon egg, dark, and shiny, and fluttering with life in its makeshift nest.

“I think it’s about to hatch,” Steve breathed, clutching the bag to his chest helplessly.

Bucky didn’t need to think twice.

Your voice is all I hear somehow, calling out winter by chaosmanor (oneshot | 13,597 | E) - stucky/symbiote

Bucky is remarkably functional, considering what he's been through. Then, sometimes, it's like a sullen killer is wearing his skin.

(Or, the fic no one asked for, where Bucky has a symbiote named Winter and everyone has to work out how to live together.)

Misery I Need by mwestbelle (oneshot | 2,592 | M)

"You've seen his file, right?" She let out a low whistle. "What a shame. To do that to such a pretty omega."

They thought he was asleep. She didn't mean anything by it, and if she knew that he'd heard he's sure she would have apologized. But it's her voice that he hears whenever he feels out of place, uncomfortable in his skin. What a shame.

OR a different take on Steve Rogers' body issues

November

Simple by Ellessey (oneshot | 4,043 | T)

Steve's holding Bucky's drink out to him and he's looking at Bucky in that way he does. It makes Bucky want to cover his face. It makes him want to peek inside of himself and see if he can actually spot the butterflies.

"Here you go," Steve says. "Extra hot, so be careful, 'kay?"

"Okay, thanks..." Bucky says. And then he has to swallow again, and his throat feels awfully tight but he practiced this last night and he can do this. He can. He opens his mouth again and adds, "Steve."

--

Every morning Bucky walks to a nearby coffee shop as a kind of exposure therapy. He isn't going there for the coffee, and he's not actually sure he's going there for the therapy anymore, but he's definitely going there for Steve Rogers' smile.

Every Move the Feeling Follows by thepinupchemist (oneshot | 5,412 | E)

After the Avengers win the battle against Thanos, everyone gets to go home. Steve and Bucky retire, get mated, and get surprised. They have a baby, and they get to start their lives again.

not idiots at all by icoulddothisallday (oneshot | 2,297 | M)

Somehow, despite the seventy years in the ice and his overwhelming fame and popularity, Steve’s words have never been recorded anywhere. He suspects that he has Peggy to thank for that. The words have always been a source of embarrassment for Steve, for one reason or another. When he was a child, his words were just another thing that set him apart from others. Other kids had common words - mostly names, as that was what you were supposed to say to a stranger. Some kids got dealt generic words like excuse me and good morning. Steve’s words didn’t make much sense, the ones that did were...not intended for polite conversation.

Thursday Nights with Bucky Barnes by Ellessey (oneshot | 4,662 | T)

Steve has a comfortable, well-worn routine for his Thursday nights, until the old man who runs the laundromat breaks his hip.

Then Steve has Bucky instead.

Rare Is This Love (Keep It Covered) by histoires_eternelles, musette22 (complete | 66,773 | E)

It's 2014. Captain America has been out of the ice for three years and is trudging along, saving the world and trying to get used to living in the future. Steve thinks he knows how the rest of his life is going to pan out – a life of duty, which he chose when he signed up to be Erskine’s science experiment. But then, he meets Bucky Barnes: the out-of-this-world-gorgeous mechanic and war vet, who turns Steve’s life upside down and makes him question everything he thought he knew. Slowly, Steve comes to realize there is more to life than duty and punching Nazis. Just one problem though: how on earth does a 96-year-old virgin who only just realized he may not be entirely straight make the transition from crush to relationship? Cue healthy amounts of self-doubt, awkward flirting, pretty blushing, existential crises, emotional growth, and maybe, possibly, a sexual awakening.

rather be a lover than a fighter (found peace in your violence) by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 4,355 | E)

The dust has settled, and the world is healing. Men are too. 

The Soldier's Revenge by LeeHan (complete | 76,406 | E)

Bucky Barnes turns himself in to SHIELD two years after dragging Captain America out of the Potomac River. He was deprogrammed in Wakanda and has been hunting down Hydra ever since, but he needs help if he wants to take proper revenge on his captors. He turns to his old enemies: SHIELD and the Avengers, but it'll take more than a few words to win their trust after the Winter Soldier brought SHIELD to its knees not long before. Now at SHIELD's mercy, the only thing that stands between Bucky and his revenge is the approval of Captain Rogers: a self-righteous asshole that Bucky barely knows.

All Those Little Pieces by Ellessey (complete | 40,516 | M)

Steve has never forgotten Bucky Barnes. Not their childhood together, not the horror of the moment Bucky fell too far for him to reach, and not the way he's loved him all the while.

Bucky has forgotten everything about Steve, at least at first. But there's still a feeling there, warm in his chest—and maybe now that he's found his way back to Steve Rogers and his sunny apartment, there's a chance it might turn into something more.

December

No fics for this month, since it was a difficult one.

In any case, I hope you enjoy all of these recs above and have a great 2020! <3

[meli-productions]

Like A Good Neighbor...

Reposting with the writing in the body: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26580445 for the #ineffablehusbandsauweek

Tadfield was a sleepy town, dull except for the mischief of the children and the strands of gossip that mothers started when they were bored out of their minds. And betwixt the gossipers and the overzealous neighborhood watch, lived the elusive Mr. Aziraphale Fell and equally as mysterious Mr. Anthony J. Crowley.

Aziraphale was the local librarian and the kids of the town knew if they wanted the best hugs or a best place to hide, Mr. Fell was the man to go to. But if they wanted mischief and maybe a quick snack, it was Mr. Crowley they went to. He was a man of many talents - gardener, handyman, mechanic - whatever it was that Tadfield didn’t have he would become.

And these two were neighbors - just across the street - with a perfect view of each other’s home.

When Aziraphale moved to Tadfield to escape the chaos of London - and his overbearing family - he never thought about what he could be getting himself into. He’d just moved into his cottage now overflowing with his collection of books and hoped to settle into that mindset of early retirement - though he was far from that. The library job presented the perfect opportunity to do what he loved and still have money to fill his home with more books. What he didn’t expect was his neighbor across the street.

It had been raining when he moved, but the first day of sun revealed his neighbor across the street. The most gorgeous man he’d ever seen, shirt uncovering a smattering of freckles across his back and wisps of fiery red hair on his chest. Aziraphale was embarrassed to say that he’d left unpacking to a side to sit at the window and watch him tend to the garden.

He found out through the bored, gossipy wives that would perch themselves on his desk, that his name was Anthony Crowley and had moved there a few years prior. He kept mostly to himself unless he was doing odd jobs around town and even then they didn’t know anything about him.

“They don’t know anything because they’re not cool enough,” one of the kids, Adam, said as he sat and ate lunch with Aziraphale. “Mr. Crowley doesn’t like gossips - s’why he likes us .”

And he had taken a liking to the kids too. Adam and his friends, the Them, would spend their lunch with him and then take off into the summer day to have childhood fun. It was from them that he found out more about the mysterious Mr. Crowley and every drop of knowledge made Aziraphale more interested in getting to know his neighbor - but he chose to stay on his side, nose in his books.

What would such a handsome man want with a fussy old bookkeeper anyway?

Crowley knew that the entire town had his landline. It was the number he’d given the first gossipy neighbor when he went over to work on her sink. It’s how he was summoned for a job. So when he heard it ring, he bucked up and steadied himself for one of the town’s women to be on the other side asking him for something trivial - like pruning their already manicured bushes.

“ ‘Ello, Crowley here.”

“Erm, hello, dear,” said an unfamiliar voice from the other end. “I’m sorry to bother you but I was given your number in case something ever went wrong. And something has gone wrong.”

Crowley blinked a few times, “Okay, right. Might I ask who this is?”

“Oh,” the voice sounded mighty embarrassed. “That’s terribly rude of me. I’m Aziraphale…Fell, the new librarian, your - um - neighbor.”

His heart swooped down towards his stomach. The angel .

“Nice to - hear from you,” said Crowley, trying to sound cool despite the speeding of his heartbeat. “What seems to be the problem.”

Aziraphale was quiet for a moment, then a shaky breath later, “There’s a leak in the library. Terribly inconvenient. And with the rain coming soon - ”

“Right. I’m on my way. Best to get it patched up soon. Wouldn’t want any of the books getting wet.”

“Oh, thank you, my dear. I should be at the front desk when you arrive.”

Crowley hung up and ran a hand through his hair, heart threatening to pound out of his chest. He glanced over at the table at the side of the door and stared at the package labeled ‘Aziraphale’, taking a moment to consider taking it before shaking the thought out of his head.

If all goes well , he thought. That gives me another excuse to see him .

He didn’t want to humor the idea that it wouldn’t go well.

In a few minutes, he found himself walking into the library and hoping his legs wouldn’t give out at the sight of the wide smile now being sent his way.

“Oh, thank you for coming so quickly,” Aziraphale said, reaching out a greeting hand. “Terrible way to introduce myself. And it’s usually not a big deal, but when I heard there’d be a storm - ”

Crowley gave the hand a quick shake, trying not to focus on the softness of the fingers in his, “Not a problem. Just show me where the leak is and I’ll see how bad it is.”

Aziraphale kept fussing and worrying, a cute little pout curling his lips, while Crowley took a closer look at his recent obsession.

Even from a distance, Crowley had noticed how stunning his neighbor was - from the tip of his comfy shoes to the last curl of that cloud of white-blond. He saw that there was a subtle strength to his softness and wanted to know more, even when his stormy hazel eyes turned to him, worried, Crowley wanted nothing more than to sink into the warmth he knew was held inside this man.

Aziraphale gave a little point up towards the vaulted roof of the building where he could see a little patch of wet.

“There’s the leak. Usually comes straight down without touching any of the books but - ”

“No point risking it,” said Crowley. “Not a problem. Should be easy enough to patch up. Is there roof access?”

“Right this way, dear boy.”

And if Crowley, in his ogling, let his gaze linger a little longer on the tight pull of fabric over the ample arse, well, only he would know.

Aziraphale felt like the world was testing him. Not only were the threats of storms looming over the leaky hole in the library, but now he had to pretend he hadn’t been staring at the lithe body of his neighbor who was now a lot closer than he’d ever been to him.

Yes, he was being tested and tempted in the worst way. He kept turning towards the ladder that led up to the roof hoping to catch a glimpse of the sinful dipping hips or the supple muscles of Anthony.

Luckily, the man in question had been engrossed in his work since he arrived and hadn’t noticed anything untoward in the librarian’s eyes, but it was nearing lunch and he’d hate to be the cause that the man didn’t eat.

Buck up, Aziraphale .

He squared his shoulders and peeked up the ladder, “Anthony, dear, it’s near lunch. Please come down and rest.”

Glasses hidden eyes peeked down, “Nah, not hungry. Almost done anyway.”

Aziraphale gave a little hmph, “Absolutely not. You’ve been working nonstop. Come down. Rest. Have a snack at least, then you can finish up,” he waited as he heard Crowley grumbling something about ‘snacks’ and then added, “Please?”

A sigh. Then, “Alright, you win. I’m heading down.”

Wriggling happily, Aziraphale moved out of the way and kept his eyes trained on the doorframe so as to not catch an eyeful of legs, rear, shoulders and back.

Crowley stretched, hands on the curve of his back as he cracked this way and that, “Right. Got any snack machines?”

Aziraphale shot him an appalled look, “Absolutely not - and I’m not going to put you through the horror of junk food. Come, I have some food to share - ”

“That’s not necessary- ”

“It isn’t, but, regardless, I will do it,” he said and, feeling bold, took a hold of Crowley’s forearm to lead him to the desk. “I always pack extra just in case the children come around - but considering the weather they won’t wander this far.”

Aziraphale settled him in a seat and smiled at the bright blush highlighting the freckles across the cheekbones, he was surprised that his own face wasn’t burning but gave thanks to the universe for giving him at least that win.

“You’re not allergic to anything, are you dear?”

“Ngk, n-no.”

“Wonderful.”

He pulled out his lunchbox and divided the leftover mushroom risotto between two, handing Crowley a plate which the man looked over with an amused knit to his eyebrows.

“This isn’t really a snack .”

Aziraphale huffed and shot him a look, “Then join me for lunch , Anthony dearest.”

The blush returned to the angular face across from him, “Seems like it’s too late to ask, angel, but I accept the offer. Could be worse - could be eating lunch with the raven that made a nest on the roof.”

“Well, I’m glad that I’m better company than a bird,” he said, then processed Crowley’s words. “Angel?”

Without noticing the cornered expression on his companion’s face, Aziraphale continued, “Oh? You know about my name?”

Crowley was still for a moment, then deflated, “Yes, ‘course, that’s why I called you angel, innit? Unless - unless it bothers you?”

“No,” he responded, much too quick, then blushed. “N-no, it’s fine. Never been called that before.”

“Pity,” said Crowley, shoving risotto in his mouth. “‘S g’d.”

The two fell into a comfortable silence as they ate the food. Aziraphale offered a few grapes that were turned down with a little shake of a head and a smaller smile.

“You’ll spoil me.”

Oh, you so deserve to be spoiled - “It’s the least I could do for how quickly you’ve done this work.”

“Right, best go finish it. Gotta make sure none of your books get wet. I’ll let you know when it’s done.”

“Mind how you go, dear. Say hello to that raven for me.”

-

An hour before closing, Crowley leaned against the check out desk and checked out the distracted librarian cataloguing books with his glasses perched precariously at the end of his nose.

He’d never had a thing for librarians - but now he understood what they had meant by sexy librarians.

Breaking himself out of that train of thought before it dragged lower, Crowley cleared his throat and watched as the focused hazel eyes softened.

“Oh, dear boy, thank you so much,” he said, eyes shining as he smiled. “How much do I owe you?”

Crowley shook his head, “Free of charge, Aziraphale. And before you argue it,” he said, noticing the frown and opening mouth, “I know that this is a local library - runs off scraps. Take it as my civic duty.”

“As grateful as I am, I can’t just not give you anything,” said Aziraphale, hands strangling the hem of his sweater. “I wouldn’t be able to rest.”

“Just - “ Crowley hesitated, then, with his most charming smile said, “just make me dinner and we’ll call it even?”

Aziraphale stalled in his wringing, eyes widening as he glanced up, “Of course. I’m not that great a cook, but if you liked it I’ll swing by later this week and drop something off.”

Crowley felt like thumping his head on the counter, but he continued, “You’re not getting off that easy - ” then winced at his poor choice of words, “erm, what I mean is - good food isn’t worth it if there’s no good company.”

It was worth the awkwardness to see the sugar-plum cheeks pinken prettily and Aziraphale nodded, “Ah, yes. Um, what - what do you say to Friday night? 8 o’clock?

Blood thundering, Crowley beamed, “Sound great. I’ll bring wine, angel.”

In a small town like Tadfield, nothing remained quiet for too long. The neighborhood had seen Crowley atop the library like a beacon and so Aziraphale was assaulted by the curious women wondering what had happened and what the librarian had thought of his elusive neighbor.

They were also quick to notice the dusting of pink on Aziraphale’s face when he mentioned that it was ‘a simple thing and Anthony completed it right on time.’

Soon the rumor mill started spinning and the next thing he knew, Crowley found himself holding the yarn of old Mrs. Galloway being interrogated on what he thought of the ‘darling librarian’. And how could he keep from the eagle-eyed woman that he thought he’d gone to heaven when he looked into those hazel eyes.

“But you can’t go and tell those vultures that,” hissed Crowley. “They’ll scare him away.”

Mrs. Galloway just gave a thoughtful hum and continued knitting - but said vultures didn’t find out anything. All they knew is just that they’d seen a dopey-looking Crowley dancing into his house with a paper bag on Thursday afternoon and out of the house dressed neater and more handsome then he’d ever looked on Friday night.

What they didn’t know is that tucked underneath the bottle of wine in his hands was the package he’d been hiding for the past couple of weeks - the conversation topic he was hoping would connect him with the angel across the street from him.

He knocked and waited, leg bouncing with nervous energy and stilling only when he heard the click of the door.

Aziraphale was alight from behind by the light of the house and it made him look more angelic than ever as the golden glow danced through his curls and off the tan and blue of his outfit.

“Come in, dear, it’s much too wet to be hanging about,” and he pulled Crowley in without a second thought. “Let me put your coat on the rack, don’t want you catching your death in those clothes.”

Crowley thought he’d risk a cold every day if it meant being fussed over by Aziraphale who helped him out of his leather jacket. Every brush of fingers against his body set heat running through every cell.

Clearing his throat, he held out the bottle, “Brought wine, as promised.”

Noticing the year, Aziraphale made an appreciative noise, “This is lovely, dear, I’m going to go ahead and put this on ice. Take a seat, make yourself at home, we’ve got a couple more tics ‘till the food’s ready.”

As he slipped into the kitchen, Crowley made sure to watch him wishing he was the cozy sweater just to hold him that close and then took a seat at the little table. There was a book sitting on it, Pride and Prejudice, and felt the package in his hands grow heavier in his lap.

“Here, dearest, have a glass. It’s not as good as what you brought for us but - ” Aziraphale faltered as he saw the furrowed brow sinking into the frames of Crowley’s sunglasses, “What’s wrong?”

“I - I have something of yours,” said Crowley, slipping off his glasses. “I’ve been - selfishly holding onto it because I wanted a reason to come over - now it just feels creepy and I’m thinking I should just go back home.”

“What- ”

The brown-paper package slid onto the table - a rectangle, hefty, that could only be a book addressed to Aziraphale from a ‘Gabriel’. Crowley, heart heavy and feet even heavier, stood.

“Sorry, angel. I’ll just - get out of your hair,” he said, glasses dangling at the tip of his fingers and he made his way out - until a hand tugged his wrist and stopped him mid-shuffle.

He met Aziraphale’s warm expression, a small and shy smile playing on his face, “I made too much food for just one person - be a shame to let it go to waste.”

Another tug brought him closer to Aziraphale’s warmth and the manicured fingers plucked the glasses out of his fingers, “Sit back down, darling boy. You’ve done nothing wrong. It’s just a package from my brother - probably some sort of self-help book he’s so fond of sending me. No harm, no foul. And,” he gave a little laugh at this, “at least you had a plan - I was just resigned to watching you from my window.”

At the stunned expression from Crowley, Aziraphale sighed, “My dear, I’ve been trying to gather up the courage to have a conversation with you since the first time I saw you in your garden - but I’m a foolish old man- ”

“Not that old,” muttered Crowley.

“ - but you were brave enough for us both.” continued Aziraphale, ignoring the interruption. “Now, you are going to stay right there, I am going to serve us both a wonderful serving of pasta alla puttanesca and, if you’re still interested after dinner, we can enjoy dessert.”

Crowley studied the man who said dessert, but looked like he’d meant dessert , and felt his lips twitch up, “Well, can’t say no to an offer like that.”

Aziraphale beamed, “Good. Now, be a dear and open that package up for me while I get our plates.”

The damned package sat there, teasing, so Crowley ripped it open, laughing when he read the title.

“What’s so funny?”

Holding the book up to Aziraphale, the two of them looked at each other and broke out into laughter, moving the book out of the way as they dug into their food.

Gabriel - with the wisdom only sibling intuition could bring - had sent Aziraphale the one thing he knew his brother would need:

How to Get a Date in 10 Easy Steps.

[howardpotts]

Just a bet (Steve Rogers x reader)

Summary: You go on a mission in Barcelona and share the room with Steve. You end up kissing and some of the Avengers were expecting you to do so.

Warnings: Angst?

Wordcount: 3570

A/N: Ohmygod, this is so long. But I really do enjoy this!!! Please let me know what you think! Oh and I NEEDED to add my favourite book in to this one shot, sorry ahahaha. (So if you’re looking for books, go get Red Rising) (((this gif, I’m dying)))

You and most of the Avengers were about to go on a mission. But this one was different than most missions. The mission was in Barcelona, Spain. A few days ago it was just a potential threat, but things happened and the threat was real. It involved nuclear bombs, so it was pretty serious.

It was still a bit of a vague mission, but you’ve just accepted the fact that not every mission will be clear as the sky. Most of the time you had to improvise and somehow you always made it out alive.

Anyway, you were going to Barcelona. Tony already had the plane ready for you guys, when Steve made one last announcement. “Okay, guys. Listen up. Because it’s summer, Barcelona is practically booked. All good hotels are as full as can be, but somehow we got ourselves some rooms. There’s only one thing”, he looks at everybody with a serious face, “we have to share rooms. We couldn’t get enough rooms for everyone to have a separate room. So.. You better buddy up.”

Everywhere there were whispers and shouts, everyone was trying to get a partner, except you. It wasn’t because you didn’t really have friends, but you just didn’t really mind who you shared a room with.

Steve watched in silence as well, giving you a quick smirk because of the chaos that was playing in front of you. “So, who are you buddying up with?”, you ask carefully. You didn’t really want to sound like you want to share a hotel room with him, but you had to ask.

He shrugs and shakes his head. “Don’t know. You?” You mimic him, giving him a grimace at the end. “Well”, he says, “Wanna share a room?” Your heart jumped at the words, but you put on your best pokerface and shrugged once again. “Sure”, you smile carefully, trying not to overreact.

You’ve had a crush on Steve for a few months now, but never said anything about it to anyone. Not even to Peter, even though you share a lot. Somehow you two got along even though there were a few years of age difference.

You hated the word ‘crush’, but in your head you didn’t want to make it more than just a crush. Some guy who just passes through your head and will be replaced by someone else real soon. You just hoped that other guy would hurry up already and get Steve out of your head.

“Hey Steve, we share a room right?”, Bucky gives Steve a light push. Steve gives you a quick glance. “Uh- Sorry Buck, already have a buddy.” He gives Bucky an apologetic look. “Oh, who?” Steve gives you one more look and Bucky gets the hint. On his face appears a big grin. “Well, I wouldn’t want to interrupt that romance.” You roll your eyes at the comment.

-

You’re finally in Barcelona and the hotel was absolutely breath taking. It was so big and it was placed in front of the beach. You all decided to eat at some restaurant close by, trying to blend in. Which isn’t easy by the way. The waiter asked if you were the Avengers, and you guys just told that you’re here to cosplay as the Avengers. Weirdly enough, it worked.

When you went back to the hotel, you were pretty tired of the journey. You informed Steve you wanted to go to bed and he agreed. “So, who’s up for a morning run tomorrow?”, you ask the group before leaving. Natasha agreed immediately, Steve and Bucky too. “Ugh- Okay, me too”, Peter groaned. The rest of the group didn’t really feel like it, especially Tony. He called you crazy for being that active in the morning.

You never were a morning person before you joined the Avengers. Oh no, you hated mornings. But somehow, you shifted some button in your brain and decided to train yourself to be a morning person. Guess what? It worked. And to keep things up, you have to get your run at 8AM, every morning of the week.

Back in the hotel, you wish the rest of the Avengers goodnight and head to your hotel room. It was a pretty and spacious room. There was even a couch and TV in it. But the best thing, by far, was the sight of the sea you and Steve had. You guys were the only ones that had that sight and you were positively surprised that Tony didn’t take that room. I guess sharing a room with the captain does come with perks.

You didn’t really know if you had to change in the same room, but Steve was already ahead of you. He took off his shirt, showing his perfectly shaped abs. You glanced as quick as you could and then turned your head away, not wanting to look like creep.

Okay, Y/N, this is just the same as wearing a bikini. With that thought you undressed yourself and put on your nightgown. After putting on your gown, you awkwardly get rid of your bra. You walk to the bathroom and do your eveningritual before heading to bed.

Steve’s already in it, reading a book. “What are you reading?”, you ask with a smile. “Uh-“, he takes a look at the cover, “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Have you heard of it?” You smile, knowing he can’t help it and he’s trying to catch up with everything.

“Yes, I have. I like the series.” And everyone else your age and below, you think but keep your mouth shut about that. You join him in bed and get comfortable. He puts the book on the nightstand, laying down as well. You both put the lights out and say each other goodnight.

It feels weird to sleep like this, with him. You have this nervous feeling in your stomach. Yet, you have to remind yourself you’re here for a mission, not to have some good times with friends. You always called the Avengers your friends, but you weren’t sure if they actually saw you as a friend. Sure, you had a better connection with Peter, but you didn’t like to think about having only one friend in the team.

You feel yourself growing impatient after a while. You just want to mission to start and go back to America. But here you are, laying in a bed in sunbathed Barcelona, next to your crush, while you’re waiting to combat with you-don’t-know-who. You close your eyes and concentrate on Steve’s breathing, checking if he was already asleep. If only you could talk to him right now. Your mind was not ready to sleep.

His breathing seems calm, calm enough to be asleep. Of course the captain can sleep, he slept when in war. He’s been trained to sleep in such stressful situations. You once heard that US military were actually trained to sleep within 6 minutes, no matter where they were. Not sure if that’s true, though. You think back at some of the horrible things you have seen as an Avenger and questioned why you didn’t get military training in sleeping.

You lay on your back and let out a sigh. Why the hell were you thinking about military training instead of going to sleep yourself?

“You okay?” Steve whispers, but it still made your heart jump of surprise. You turn your head and were now looking in his gorgeous blue eyes. You mean, just his blue eyes. Just. Blue. Eyes.

“Yeah, I just can’t sleep”, you sigh again. He nods. “Any particular reason?” Well, first of all, you are crushing on him and the sight of his abs are still fresh in your mind. “Just… Impatient for the mission to start.” It’s not a complete lie, but it’s not the whole truth either. But he doesn’t have to know everything.

“That’s it?” He asks like he was reading your mind. “Just thinking about some previous missions, but that’s it.” All of the sudden you think about what you have seen and what the captain has seen in his life. Oh god, that’s so stupid of you to say. He has seen so much worse in his life than you have.

“Oh- But, that’s no excuse. I mean, in comparison of what you’ve seen it’s-“ “Don’t pull that card. Don’t do the ‘but you had worse’-thing. That’s not what you deserve, okay?” His stern voice gives you shivers, almost making you teary. He was right, but you denied it. Because if you didn’t deny, all you could do was thinking about those horrible moments.

“Anything that helps you sleep?” His voice was softer now. “Hmm. Yeah… Nah, not really. I mean, it’s okay, I will sleep eventually.” He looks at you with a confused expression. “Tell me, Y/N.”

“I don’t want to make you comfortable”, you argue. You had other obvious reasons, but the one you said, was in fact true. “Don’t worry about me. What is it?”, he encourages you.

“Ehm, well”, you blush, “I always fall asleep cuddling up with someone. Whether it’s friends or boyfriends, I always fall asleep.” You did. Always. Sometimes friends even complained about it, because you guys were watching a movie together. But you weren’t really sure if you would fall asleep in his arms. The butterflies in your stomach would probably take over and you wouldn’t sleep for the rest of the night.

“I think I can handle a bit of cuddling”, he jokes. He lays on his back and opens a spot between his arm and his chest. You look from the spot to him. “You sure?”, you ask while you were containing your nerves. He nods.

You get yourself in the spot that was made for you, laying your head on his shoulder. God, this is not good. This is not good at all. It even gives you a bit of creepy vibes. Not from him, but from you. You were laying in his arms while you fancy the hell out of him. That’s just creepy. It’s like you’re trying to own him.

You hear his soft breath from up close now, making you relax a bit more. You get yourself comfortable again, tension leaving your body. Within five minutes, you fall asleep.

-

The day after you had your morning run, with a shower after, and did some sightseeing with Peter. You and Peter both had a suit where your faces weren’t shown, so you had the luck of sightseeing without any trouble. Most of the team wasn’t that lucky. You’ve seen many things like Sagrada Familia and the beautiful streets of El Raval, some artsy neighborhood in the centrum of Barcelona. You visited the stadium of FC Barcelona, Camp Nou, and were actually really impressed by the big stadium.

In the end of the day, you were pretty tired. You and Peter had something to eat at some typical Catalonian restaurant. You loved the Catalonian and Spanish garnish, so you were pretty satisfied when you were heading back to the hotel.

In the hallway, you already spot Natasha’s red hair from miles away. She’s talking to Bruce and Vision. When you walk up to them, she immediately asks how your day has been.

Tony offers you a drink and says that the mission definitely won’t start until tomorrow. “Oh, well than”, you smirk, “wine please?” He gives you a mischievous wink and gets you a white wine. You take a sip, trying to hold in a moan. This was just what you needed.

You take a seat on the couch next to Bucky, who is holding a beer. You cheer and take another sip. “This feels great, doesn’t it?”, Bucky smiles. You nod and ‘hug’ your wineglass, making Bucky laugh.

Everyone was actually just really relaxed, talking about nothing in particular. You could feel that the pressure was gone for this evening. When Tony offered you a refill of your wineglass, you kindly declined. One glass wouldn’t hurt a soul, but you still need to keep sharp for the day after. Even though a second glass wouldn’t give you a hangover, you won’t take any chances.

“Hey Y/N”, Wanda calls you. You look at her and she has this playfull smile on her face, making you worry of what she’s going to say. “Does the captain snore?” She tries to hold in a laugh. Steve’s guilty look makes you smile, knowing that he probably put you in this position.

You just shake your head with a big smile on your face. “I’m so glad that I can say that’s not the case. I can’t sleep if people snore.”

Those kind of conversations go on for another hour, before you feel sleepy again. Some of the team had already hit the bed and you knew it was time for you to go to. “Steve, let’s go?” You hint. He nods and quickly drinks the rest of his water.

When in your room, you change to your nightgown again. This time you don’t feel uncomfortable anymore. You go to the bathroom again and after that you get in bed. This time, you’re the first to get to bed. So, you mimic Steve and grab  your book. You hear the shower running, so you know you have some time before he’s in the bed as well.

Afer ten minutes, he comes out of the bathroom. “What are you reading?” He chuckles. This just feels like yesterday, but then reversed roles. “Only the best book ever”, you say, “Red Rising.” You let him see the cover of your book and he nods impressed. “So.. I should put it on my readinglist?” It was more of a question than a statement. You nod quickly. “It’s a must”, you wink.

You put your book on the nightstand and lay on your side, with your head directed to Steve. “Thanks, by the way”, you say. He looks at you with confusion. “For what?” You shrug. “For cuddling with me last night. It really helped.” You grab his hand for a second, giving your words some extra strength. He gives you a sweet smile, causing you to melt from the inside.

You should really kiss him, you thought. Wait, no, you shouldn’t. But, what if you did? Maybe this was the ultimate chance of kissing him. You could either blame it on ‘the moment’. Or maybe the mission would take the tension away, making things way more easy to handle after.

There were so many reasons that this was the right moment. You had to know if he had any romantic feelings towards you. You just had to know. If he didn’t, than you would know and get over him. If he did, well… That’s super duper positive right?

Your thoughts were interrupted by Steve scooting a little closer. It wasn’t the ‘making-a-move’ kind of scoot, but just a friendly scoot. If that makes sense.

Okay. This is it. This. Is. It. You felt your heartbeat racing. You took your head of the pillow and you were now leaning on your elbow. For a moment you stayed like this. Steve looked at you with curiousity, not knowing what you were going to do. In the few seconds that you were hanging on your elbow, you were still debating in your head if this was a good idea. Probably not, but what fun is life without some risks.

With those thoughts, you went for it. You leaned to Steve and gave him a sweet peck on the lips. His lips were so soft, but you let go anyway. You come back up and lean on your elbow again, looking at him. He had his eyes closed.

Shit. Oh god, You’re so stupid. He probably didn’t want to let you down. Shit. “I- I’m sorry, that was stu-“ You were interrupted by Steve kissing you back. His kiss was harder. You shut your eyes and take it all in. His lips were just as soft as a few seconds ago. He lets go of your lips, but you weren’t having that. You put your lips back on his. God, he was a good kisser.

You lay one of your hands in his neck, slowly going in his hair. He slowly backs down on the pillow, tugging you with him. The sweetness was all gone now, replaced by passion and lust.

For a second you let go and he gives you a loving smile. Then he pulls you back in the kiss and places one hand on your hip. You weren’t sure if that was a hint for you getting on top, but you did it anyway. The other hand found its way to your other hip. He squeezed a little bit, making it hard for you to keep a moan from coming.

You managed to stay silent. Both of you knew that you weren’t ready for more. You knew it was just going to be a make-out session. Your hands go through his hair, even though it was still a bit wet from the shower. The cold water made you shiver and gave you goosebumps.

You quickly dry your hands on the sheets and get it back in the game. Of course, you took a shot of feeling his abs. Your hands trail from his neck, to his chest, to his tummy. You could feel the bumps of his abs, making you even more turned on. You had to stop yourself before you became greedy. Before you lost yourself in this session and did things you would regret later.

You stopped the kiss and took place next to him. Steve seemed to have forgotten the ‘just kiss’-rule as well and was slowly returning to reality again. You sigh and give him a quick kiss on the nose, making him chuckle.

Again, you were laying on his shoulder, but now you were looking into each other’s eyes. You didn’t dare to look away, you didn’t want this moment to be over. He gives you another sweet kiss on the lips, causing you to smile.

Even though you don’t want to break eye contact, you do it anyway. You feel your body getting sleepy. You didn’t even realise how tired you were until now. Maybe it’s best to sleep now. Tomorrow might be missionday.

-

In the morning there wasn’t any sign of you fighting for your lives. So, that’s why you decided to talk to Steve. It might be your only chance of getting a clean conscience before heading in to the mission.

“Uhm.. Steve?”, you ask shyly. He looked at you while straightening his shirt. “Do you… About yesterday… Uhm… Was this a one-time thing? Do you like me?” God, you were bad at this. You just didn’t know how to subtly ask the question that was going through your head for weeks.

“I.. I do, yes. I mean, I like you. Do… you?” You nod, still embarrassed for the way you asked him about this. “But, I think it’s for the best if we figure this out after our mission”, he sternly says. You nod in agreement. “Me too.”

Only a few hours later you went on the mission. It was a rather easy mission, but it was too dangerous for leaving an Avenger behind in New York. You were exhausted at the end of the mission, and so was the rest of the team.

“Hey Natasha!”, Bucky exclaimed through the plane. You looked up and watched him. He had a big smile on his face while standing next to Steve. “You owe me five bucks!”

Confused your eyes went to Natasha, but quickly back to Bucky when he started talking again. “Oh, you too Peter! And Loki. And of course Dr. Strange.” You looked around the room, your confusion was only growing.

“Y/N? Did you kiss Steve?”, Peter asked loudly. You look at him with big eyes before looking at Steve with the same big eyes. Your cheeks are instantly red. You look back to the boy. “Uh-“, you whisper shyly.

“Oh my god… You did!”, Peter exclaims and walks to you. “Why didn’t I know you fancied mister-“ “Peter, what the hell is going on?” You say at him confused. How did they all know that you and Steve….?

“We bet”, Natasha says while shrugging. “Bucky said that he thought you would kiss somewhere on this mission, me and Peter didn’t. So we betted. But all of the sudden everyone was in, so it became one big bet.”

You look at Steve again, who’s looking at you with puppy eyes, trying to say he’s sorry. “You told.. Barnes? When did you even have time for that?”, you say.

“Oh, he told me the minute you left for your morningrun”, Bucky’s smile couldn’t be bigger right now. Shyly you look at the ground.

“Wait, wait”, Steve finally spoke when Bucky wanted to walk away. “Who bet that we would kiss?” He looks at the team and a few hands go in the air. Bucky, Tony, Vision, Bruce, Wanda.

“When did this bet start?” You ask. “First night. You went off to bed pretty early”, Natasha said with a grin on her face. “But it’s okay, Y/N, I’m not even mad to pay five bucks over this.” You just shake your head with a little smile on your face. They’re the worst, but you love them anyway.

[hysterialevi]

When the Devil Cries pt. 6

Author’s note: The gang’s first robbery! Enjoy :)

From Eddie’s POV

SAINT DENIS, RYAN RESIDENCE

THAT NIGHT

“Don’t think too much about it,” Arthur’s gentle voice replayed in my mind. “Just aim, breathe in, and...”

A smile crept onto my face at the sweet memory whilst I sat at the piano, examining the gun he bought for me earlier.

Arthur was kind enough to gift me a beautiful Schofield revolver that had been decorated with a sleek rosewood varnish, brass frame, and blue-steel barrel. I also decided to purchase a carving of a buck on the grip, just to give it a personal touch, and hadn’t been able to stop staring at it since.

It truly was a gorgeous weapon, and it would always bring me pleasant thoughts of the day I got it...but even then, I hoped I’d never have to use it. Things were crazy enough for me in Saint Denis, what with all the chaos in my life. The last thing I wanted was to be forced to shoot someone.

But I supposed Arthur was right in the end: it never hurt to be armed.

“Oh God, Eddie...” I muttered to myself in embarrassment, thinking back to when Arthur taught me how to shoot a gun. “...You absolute moron.”

The man actually had to hold my arms in place because I was just that clueless.

He was so kind during the process, and showed no signs of impatience, but I didn’t even want to think about how much of an idiot Arthur must’ve thought I was.

I mean, it didn’t take much to see that he was insanely experienced with firearms. He handled guns better than an author handled a pen...and to see someone like me attempt to shoot one -- Arthur probably wanted to use me as the target.

Well, no. He probably didn’t.

Arthur was genuinely kind, unlike most of the other people I’d met. I could see it in his eyes, even though he spoke so lowly of himself.

He claimed he was a bad man, and yet he offered me help every time we ran into each other. I’d never seen him commit an immoral act, and he seemed to actually care about people, despite how much they might’ve annoyed him sometimes.

Deep down, he had a heart of gold. And I didn’t know what Arthur’s idea of “bad” was, but it certainly didn’t match mine.

Putting the revolver away, I returned to the piano and flipped through my notes, hoping to get in some last-minute practice. It wasn’t my first time performing in front of a large crowd, and I had been through this before, but I still found myself rather nervous about the show to come. After all, the entirety of the audience’s focus would be on me, and I just prayed I wouldn’t screw it up under the stress. I couldn’t afford to.

Relaxing my hands, I began to play the same melody I performed for Arthur the other day as my fingers danced across the keys, causing me to think back to the portrait the man had made of me.

Even though I had my suspicions Arthur was somewhat of an artist, I didn’t expect him to be that skilled. The portrait had a surprising amount of detail in it along with a rough but beautiful technique of shading, and it almost felt like I was staring at a mirror.

He even scribbled down a few words underneath the drawing with a type of handwriting I never thought I’d see from a man of his background, and wrote out the words I said to him when he came to my house.

Arthur truly was a marvel. The kind of man that only appeared once in a lifetime.

I just never thought it’d be during mine.

“...Ah, there you are.”

Jumping at the sudden voice, I instantly retreated my hands from the piano as if I were touching a hot stove, whipping around to see who had paid me a visit at this late hour.

A sense of anxiety began to inflate inside me upon seeing my guest’s face as I slowly dragged down the piano’s lid, clearing my throat in an awkward manner before greeting them.

“...Thatcher,” I said, averting my gaze from the man. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Evidently not,” Middleton replied, prowling into the room. “I wanted to discuss the matter we were talking about earlier, when your...friend interrupted us.”

I glanced out the window, peering into the night’s blackness.

“...Now? Isn’t it a bit late?”

Thatcher helped himself to a glass of wine before having a seat in the same chair Arthur used, his lifeless, smoke-colored eyes never leaving me.

“Well, I would’ve come earlier, but seeing as how you were out gallivanting all day, I didn’t exactly have the chance. Did you have fun with Mister Morgan? He certainly seems like...quite the riveting character.”

I hesitated to answer.

“...What do you want, Thatcher?”

Middleton took a sip, studying me for a moment with an astute glare before responding.

“...I want my money, Edward. The money that you said you’d repay ages ago. The money that I can easily get from Rose if you aren’t around anymore. Only...he won’t give it to me if he finds out you’re still alive.”

I let out a frustrated sigh. “For someone who claims to be his own man, you certainly are loyal to that rat.”

I rested my elbows on my knees. “Look, I’m trying my best here, Thatcher. I said I’d pay you back and I will. But you keep asking for money when I have none to give. I just need some time. And patience. Fortunately for the both of us, the profit from tomorrow’s show should pay off the debt. And then our business will finally be concluded.”

Middleton lightly drummed his fingers against his wine glass, emitting a series of soft but sharp clinks.

“Good,” he said, his calm yet guttural voice rumbling in his throat. “Because I’m done waiting, Mister Ryan. If I don’t get my money soon, I might just have to finish the job, and bring Atticus Rose the blood he paid for.”

“I understand,” I reiterated. “Just...please. Give me some more time. I don’t have the money yet, but I will soon. All I need is a while longer. I beg you.”

I actually felt ashamed saying those words, and frowned upon myself for behaving in such a manner.

Good god, I hated begging like this. It made me feel so weak. So helpless. It was humiliating. And all for what? The empty promise of survival? For all I knew, Middleton could’ve been planning to kill me after collecting my debt anyways. He’d never have to tell anyone about our little deal, and he’d get double the reward from Atticus just for bringing my head.

I had lured myself into a trap like the fool I was, and as far as I could tell, there was no way out of it.

What the hell was I supposed to do next?

Considering my offer, Thatcher furrowed his brows in thought as he downed the rest of his wine, afterwards setting the glass down and silently heading for the door.

The man didn’t say anything, and the only thing that could be heard at the moment was the soft thud of his shoes hitting the floor, but I could still tell there were about a thousand different thoughts tangling inside his head.

I didn’t know why Thatcher was bothering to show me any mercy. He could’ve just put a bullet in my head here and now, and put an end to this...game. But for whatever reason, the assassin had decided to spare me in exchange for money, and pretend like I never even existed so long as he got the reward he was promised. It made me wonder if there were any ulterior motives behind his actions, and frankly, I was terrified to find out.

Middleton took one last look at me before showing himself out, pointing up a single finger.

“...One day,” he settled. “That’s it. One more day to live, or to pay. The outcome depends on you entirely, Eddie.”

I reluctantly agreed with the extension, silently cursing Thatcher for his endless cruelty. I wanted more than nothing to break out of the leash he had around my neck, but I knew I was powerless to do so. After all, I was no match for a man such as Middleton.

He had killed dozens of people in the past, and if I even attempted to fight back, I knew damn well that Thatcher would easily send me to an early grave.

Good lord...part of me kind of wished I had allowed Middleton to kill me back in England.

A defeated breath escaped me. “...Very well,” I replied. “One more day.”

Thatcher seemed pleased.

For now.

“Good. Otherwise, you know what happens. Until then, farewell, Mister Ryan. I’m glad we could come to an understanding. I just hope you can come through with it. ...For your sake.”

From Arthur’s POV

THE NEXT EVENING

SHADY BELLE

“Well, well, well!” Dutch exclaimed in an impressed tone, eyeing me up and down as he waved a cigar around. “Look at you, big man! You know, you don’t look half bad when you’re not covered in blood. Half of you is all I can see most of the time. Hah!”

I adjusted the ascot tie clinging around my neck, attempting to give myself some room to breathe as I squirmed in my suit.

A noose would’ve honestly been preferable at this point.

“Is this really necessary, Dutch?” I questioned, feeling like a pompous idiot.

“We want to grab as little attention as possible on this heist,” he reminded. “That means we have to fit in. Especially you and Mary-Beth. So yes, it is necessary.”

I shrugged. “...Fine. So, is the plan still the same?”

Dutch nodded. “Most of it, yes. The only thing I’ve decided to change is your role in this. Instead of pretending to be a couple out to see a show, you and Mary-Beth are gonna wear some masks that Charles and I snatched. The same masks that the actors will be wearing.”

I felt my heart stop. “The actors? Oh lord, Dutch. Please don’t tell me...”

He let out a guffaw. “Have no fear, son. You won’t be going on stage. I just need you and Mary-Beth to pretend like you’re a pair of actors who were...late to the show or something. Just keep the clerk distracted. Meanwhile, Bill will sneak into the ticket office from behind and...‘convince’ them to hand over every single dollar sittin’ in that register. When that’s done, the three of you will meet Charles outside. He’ll have a stagecoach ready to go once you’ve got the money, and then all of you will get the hell outta there.”

“And if somethin’ goes wrong?” I asked.

“Then we do whatever we must to escape. But the ideal outcome here is: no one dies, and we’re out of the theater before anyone even figures out what happened. If the law does somehow get alerted though, do not head straight back to camp, and split up. Understand?”

“Got it.”

Dutch patted me on the shoulder. “Then I wish you good luck. Oh, and put this on.”

Handing over one of the most flamboyant accessories I’ve ever seen, Dutch presented a porcelain mask decorated with bold jewels, paint, and feathers...as if to rub salt into my wounds.

I took the hideous thing into my hands, observing it with a face of fear as it stared back at me.

“If I had any good luck I wouldn’t be wearin’ this as a robbery mask.”

“Oh, just wait ‘till you see what Mary-Beth has to wear. You’ll be forgiving me later.”

I slipped the mask inside my overcoat. “The money will be forgiveness enough.”

He chuckled. “That it will. Well, be careful today, Arthur. And keep your wits about you. This job should be easy enough to pull off, but you know what they say. Expect the unexpected.”

I waved goodbye to Dutch, heading out to find Mary-Beth.

“That’s all I expect.”

ONE HOUR LATER

Squeezing myself into the stagecoach while Charles climbed up top, I found myself sharing a bit too much room with Bill as the both of us were forced to practically touch knees, barely able to fit in this box with wheels.

“And people say I'm grumpy.” I remarked, noticing the less than happy expression on Bill’s face.

“Shut up, Morgan.” He snapped back.

“Hey,” I replied with a chuckle, “at least you got the honors of wavin’ a gun around. Dutch wants me to keep mine holstered. All I get to do is stand there...and let the clerk gawk at me.”

Williamson rested a hand on his knee. “I’m surprised Dutch even let me take the money on this one. Usually, he always puts you in charge of emptying the register. Or the vault. Or pockets. Or whatever it is we’re stealin’ from.”

I leaned back in my seat, doing my best to get comfortable for the ride ahead.

“Well, Dutch did say the best way to pull off this mission is to fit in. And no offense, Bill, but...you kinda scare the shit outta people.”

Bill scoffed. “And you don’t?”

I let out a sigh. “Oh, I will once I put this mask on. Looks like someone skinned the devil.”

Williamson crossed his arms and stared out the tiny window. “At least you’ll have no issues fittin’ in, then.”

“Heh. That I won’t.”

Opening the stagecoach’s door, Mary-Beth joined the conversation as she plopped herself next to me, showing the most amount of excitement out of all of us. There was a certain spark in her eyes that made it look like she hadn’t stepped outside for ages, and she certainly seemed much more relaxed. Well, at least one of us was happy.

“Hello, fellas.” She greeted, tidying her gown.

“Hey there, Mary-Beth,” I responded. “You seem eager to get to work.”

“Oh, I am. This is the first big heist I’ve done in months. I’m just so glad Dutch chose me to come along with you boys. If I had stayed in camp for another minute, I might’ve lost my mind.”

Bill adjusted his suit. “You’ll lose it much faster out there.”

I smiled at Mary-Beth. “Well, I look forward to hearin’ your retelling of this one at the campfire.”

The young woman smirked. “It was just the three of us, sneakin’ our way under the moonlight’s dreamy gaze as we prepared to rob the grandest theater in all o’ Saint Denis...”

Bill grumbled. “...and we looked like fuckin’ idiots.”

We all chortled at that as the stagecoach began to move, prompting us to put our gear on.

“Alright,” I said with a soft laugh. “Enough of that. Get your masks on, people. The theater ain’t far from here.”

Mary-Beth followed my instructions and slipped hers on, causing my eyes to widen out of surprise.

“Jesus -- Dutch weren’t kiddin’ about your mask.”

She sighed dramatically. “I know, I know. First heist I get to go on in forever...and this is what I have to wear.”

I pulled my mask out of my coat, strapping the thing around my head.

“Perhaps I’ll forgive Dutch, after all. Anyway, good luck to both of you. Stay calm, and stay alert. No one has to die...and ideally, no one has to figure out what we’re doin’ before we’re gone. ‘Cause otherwise, I don’t feel like puttin’ on a second show for these folks.”

Mary-Beth gave me a firm nod. “We’re ready, Arthur.”

“...Then let’s do this.”

SAINT DENIS, THE RÂLEUR

Walking up to the theater once all the guests had already purchased their tickets, Mary-Beth and I approached the front doors together just as the show was starting to begin, giving us the perfect opportunity to slither in.

There were plenty of empty stagecoaches and horses waiting outside, and the closer we got, the more we could hear the muffled cheers of the audience enjoying the performance. Judging by the volume, there was going to be a hell lot of money just waitin’ for us to snatch. I only hoped that everything went according to plan.

“Okay,” I whispered. “Looks clear. Bill, find a way into the ticket booth. Quietly. Mary-Beth and I will distract the clerk in the meantime. Once you’re inside, we’ll grab the money from the register and meet Charles back here afterwards. Then, we get the hell outta this city before anyone even knows what happened. Got it?”

Bill pulled up his bandana. “Got it.”

I turned to Mary-Beth. “And you?”

She grinned. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Good. Then let’s get to work.”

Breaking off from the group, Bill went on his own path while Mary-Beth and I hurriedly strolled towards the front doors, both our hearts pumping rapidly in our chests despite our calm exteriors.

It had been a long while since anything went right for the gang, and if I was being perfectly honest, I weren’t too confident about the this robbery either.

There were next to no cops around, even less witnesses...and the amount of money being promised to us almost sounded too good to be true. Part of me wanted to believe this was just a good score and that we were lucky enough to seize it, but my better judgement knew this wasn’t going to come without consequences.

Well, whatever storm was headin’ our way, I had faith that Dutch and the gang would be prepared for it. We survived Blackwater, we survived the mountains, and we sure as hell weren’t dying now. We had gone too far to go back.

Pushing the glass doors open, Mary-Beth and I casually sauntered in as the ticket clerk’s head perked upwards, greeting us with curious eyes.

“Ah, are you more of Abbington’s actors?” He asked, recognizing the masks. “Well, the show’s already started, but you should have enough time to slip in before anyone notices. Don’t wanna be late to a performance this big. Especially not with how many people are in the audience. Y’all have really planned something special tonight, haven’t you?”

I spotted Bill sneaking in from a side door as he stuck close to the walls, gradually inching his way to the booth.

I approached the clerk, keeping his attention away from everything but me.

“You have no idea,” I replied. “But actually, we’re lookin’ for a friend of ours. He’s another actor. Mighta seen him stumblin’ around here? He’s about this tall, always has a sour look on his face. A clumsy feller, but he knows what he’s doing. Just has a...a habit of being late, sometimes.”

The clerk shook his head. “I’m afraid I haven’t seen anyone like that, friend. Have you checked with Abbington? Or perhaps Miss Marjorie?”

I decided to drop the subject. “Nah, we already asked them, but no harm done. We’ll keep looking for him. I’m sure he’s around here somewhere--” I paused in the middle of my words and pointed in the distance, letting out a chuckle. “Ah, never mind...there he is.”

Following my gaze, the clerk froze when he suddenly heard the sound of a gun being cocked behind him, not daring to move a single muscle as Bill nearly nailed the barrel into his head.

“Don’t scream,” I immediately warned, keeping my voice low. “Don’t cry. Don’t even breathe. Just give us the money in that there register. Otherwise, Benjamin Lazarus ain’t gonna be the only one catchin’ a bullet tonight.”

Bill applied more pressure with his rifle. “Do what he says.” He demanded.

The clerk held up his hands in surrender, whimpering out of fear.

“O-Okay, okay! I’ll give you the money. J-Just, please...don’t hurt anyone.”

“Oh believe me,” I threatened as the man desperately opened the register, “we don’t wanna hurt nobody. But we sure as shit will. If you give us enough of a reason to.”

Fumbling through the register with trembling hands, the clerk hastily gathered all the money clips and handed them to Bill while the show carried on inside, entrancing the crowd as they clapped and cheered, completely oblivious to the fact that their money was being taken away.

“That’s it...” Bill urged him. “Keep the cash coming.”

Mary-Beth whistled out of amazement, staring at all the green now sitting in Williamson’s bag.

“Whoo, would you look at all that money? I guess you boys was right about this job.”

“Just don’t let your guard down,” I reminded. “We ain’t outta here yet.”

Tossing every coin he could find into Williamson’s bag, the clerk threw his hands up in the air once again when he was finished and stared at us with a horrified, bewildered expression.

“Is that all the money?” I questioned.

“...Y-Yes!” He answered. I didn’t believe him.

I decided to bluff. “Alright, well if that’s the case...I guess we’ll just finish you off and search the rest of the place ourselves.”

“What?!” The clerk yelped.

“It’s nothin’ personal...” I reassured. “Just don’t wanna leave behind any loose ends. I’m sure you understand.”

“W-Wait!” He exclaimed. “There’s no more money, but there are some very valuable props backstage. Made out of gold and silver, they are. Jewels, too. You could sell them for a fine price, I imagine.”

“That so?” I asked. “I’ll go check. See if he’s tellin’ the truth. Mister W, you stay and make sure our friend here behaves. Miss G, why don’t you go on and bring the money to where it belongs? I’ll meet up with you two later.”

“Sounds good.” Mary-Beth agreed as I began making my way backstage.

“Be careful back there,” Bill warned. “Never know what you could run into with these freaks.”

I chuckled mischievously, throwing a glance back at him.

“Which freaks we talkin’ about here?”

BACKSTAGE

Roaming quietly through the clutters of props, mannequins, and furniture stored in the back of the theater, I cautiously searched for the valuables the clerk spoke of as I did my best to avoid any of the staff who could’ve been wandering around.

Right now, it seemed like most of the people involved in the show were on the other side of the curtain, and so far, I hadn’t seen any other actors backstage. Still though, I wanted to leave as soon as possible. I could sneak around well enough, but I didn’t want to push our luck more than we already had.

Sifting through the multiple boxes and crates scattered around, I picked up a few things here and there that I thought we could sell to a fence, constantly checking behind me to ensure no one crept up while I wasn’t looking.

Even if I didn’t manage to take everything though, we had stolen more than enough money for one night. I knew Dutch said there’d be loads of cash for us to lift at the theater, but I had no idea just how many people were actually gonna be pourin’ through the doors today.

We must’ve collected a few hundred dollars. At least. And that was without all the stuff I found back here.

Maybe Dutch wasn’t quite as lost as I expected. Maybe the old man had been right all along, and I was the one changing. Not him.

I just wanted what was best for the gang. Sure, there was a lot of rotten people within our big, dysfunctional family...but we also had good people. Those who deserved a better life. A life that we were capable of giving to them. All we needed to make that happen...was one last score. And then, we were free.

“Don’t...move.”

Halting in my tracks, I came to a stop when I heard the unmistakable sound of someone pulling down the hammer of a gun, and a series of gentle, yet unwavering footsteps coming from behind me.

Shit.

“Throw your weapon away.” They ordered.

Careful not to provoke them, I steadily turned around to face the confronter as I left the props on the floor and complied, never taking my eyes off them.

“Listen, boy...” I said, slowly rotating my body. “I didn’t come here to shoot no one, but that don’t mean--”

Cutting off mid-sentence, I felt my skin turn to stone when I finally laid eyes upon the stranger’s face, suddenly regretting ever coming here in the first place.

Pointing a Schofield revolver directly at my head, Eddie stared me down with a frightened but unbreakable strength in his forest-colored eyes as he tried to calm his own breath, clearly terrified by the whole situation even if he didn’t show it.

Well...if there was a god above, he certainly had a unique sense of humor. I couldn’t believe it.

I was being held at gunpoint.

By my own student.

In a theater that I was trying to rob.

“Look,” Eddie said, his tone shaking slightly, “I don’t know who you are, but just...go. Leave everything you took behind, and don’t come back. Please. No one needs to get hurt.”

I took a few, subtle steps forward, trying to remain calm.

“Easy there, partner...” I murmured.

Eddie gulped out of anxiety and mindlessly clenched his jaw, unable to move due to the terror holding him down.

“I-I mean it,” he reiterated. “Leave.”

I continued to approach him despite his commands, whispering softly in an attempt to ease the boy’s nerves.

“...Now, I ain’t gonna hurt you...” I reassured. “I just came here for money. Not blood.”

The pianist fell silent at that, his arms quivering as he kept the gun aimed at me. I could tell he was scared, but not scared enough to pull the trigger. Eddie didn’t strike me as the type to shoot someone out of panic, and I certainly prayed that I was right.

“...That’s it...” I encouraged. “Nice and easy...”

Eddie stayed in place, his breath still somewhat quick, but not quite as fear-driven as before. It was working.

My lord, I could only imagine what I was doing to this poor kid. He weren’t gonna be able to sleep for the rest of the week, and I’d probably be in every single one of his nightmares from here on out.

Though, I couldn’t deny that Eddie certainly had a pair of stones on him. He had a bravery I’d not seen in very many other people, and I didn’t even want to think about how much hell he’d raise if he had the same gunslinging skills as Dutch.

Just as I was about to defuse the tension however, Bill himself suddenly snuck up behind Eddie and bashed him in the back of the head with his rifle, knocking the boy out cold before he even hit the floor.

I glared at the attacker, instantly rushing over to Eddie’s unconscious body as Bill grabbed the props.

“The hell, Williamson?!” I practically growled through gritted teeth.

“What?” He exclaimed, hauling the sack over his shoulder. “Dutch said no killing. He never mentioned anything about hittin’ people!”

I sighed in irritation. “That’s not the point-- oh for Christ’s sake, forget it. Let’s just get outta here. C’mon, Charles and Mary-Beth will be waitin’ outside.”

“Who’s ridin’ shotgun?” Bill asked, following me to the front of the theater.

“I will,” I answered. “You just worry about keeping that money safe. We got a lot sittin’ in those bags, and we ain’t losing ‘em now!”

Escaping with Williamson, the two of us ran like hell as I unholstered my own guns and kept an eye out for any lawmen that could’ve been lurking about, still feeling incredibly guilty over what happened with Eddie.

The boy was only trying to protect the money that he earned, and not only did I sweep it out from right under him,  I also put him through what would probably be one of the most terrifying moments of his life.

Unlike everyone else I knew, Eddie had never killed a man before or lived the life of an outlaw. He had grown comfortable with the safety of a city’s walls, and to end up being stuck between two robbers like he did tonight...I was gonna have to make this up to him somehow.

But I’d worry about that later. Right now, my only concern was getting out of Saint Denis as fast as humanly possible. For the first time in a while, things actually went mostly according to plan, and we just stole a more-than-decent chunk of cash. Dutch was going to be pleased.

“There’s Charles,” I announced as we came through the entrance. “Quick! Get in, and let’s go!”

Climbing onto the stagecoach, Bill took the sacks of money and stuffed himself inside with Mary-Beth, the four of us taking off as soon as the door was closed.

Even though there were no lawmen chasing us at the moment, neither Charles nor I wanted to take any chances and urged the horses to gallop faster as we bolted through the city’s streets, almost floating above the cobblestone with our speed.

I had to admit: despite the encounter with Eddie, I was feelin’ good for once. It was about time a robbery went right...but I still couldn’t help wondering how this was going to affect the pianist’s life.

I mean, now that I thought about it, every time I talked with the man, he was always mentioning how much he needed more money. He mentioned it at the saloon. He mentioned it after we ran into Miss Powell...

I didn’t know if he was in some sort of trouble, or what was going on in his life, but...Eddie did sound a bit desperate.

Jesus, what had I gotten myself into? Even when something finally worked out for the gang, I still had my doubts about our victory.

Sure, we were a huge step closer to buying our freedom, but at what cost? The freedom of another?

To be honest...I didn’t know if it was worth it.

I mentally slapped myself across the face, snapping back to reality.

No, I couldn’t afford to think like that. Empathy got you killed out in these lands, and compassion betrayed you. My place was at Dutch and Hosea’s side, and that was where it’d always be. No matter what. And I’d just have to accept that.

I liked Eddie. I really did. Hell, maybe I even had the potential to love him...but not in this life. I had already pursued love enough times to know how it ended, and I couldn’t bear to put the boy through the same fate.

He was a kind soul, built to lift those around him.

As for me -- I was nothing but a ghost walkin’ among men.

And regardless of what I felt for Eddie...

...None of it was gonna change a damn thing.

[tinymixtapes]

Feature: 2017: First Quarter Favorites

Three months in, and we haven’t destroyed ourselves! To celebrate this achievement, we’re once again sharing our favorite releases from the last few months. A lot of it is pretty heavy, focusing on grief (Mount Eerie), cruelty (Lawrence English), and self-loathing (Xiu Xiu), with other fun stuff like ritual guitar abuse (Skullflower) and the glowing horror of reanimation (Rashad Becker). But we also loved everything from urban gallery funk (Cybervision Simulcast) and philosophic horse opera (Sun Araw) to playful Afromutations (Riddlore) and pop so sugary sweet it’ll rot your teeth (Charli XCX). Something for everyone. ;) Since these quarter lists are more informal than our year-end features, the shortlist before the list proper is equally important (especially Dasychira’s Immolated EP, which got a lot of love since assembling this list). Check ‘em all out below, and maybe see you in another three? Shortlist: Moon B’s Lifeworld 2: Udaya, nekomimi + luvfexxx, LUVISCOLD, Sophiaaaahjkl;8901’s Toilet Abstraction Tapes, Gabor Lazar’s Crisis of Representation, Darren Keen, It’s Never Too Late To Say You’re Welcome, Mega Bog’s Happy Together, Tonstartssbandht’s Sorcerer, Dasychira’s Immolated, Drake’s More Life, William Basinski’s A Shadow in Time, Roc Marciano’s Rosebudd’s Revenge, Future’s HNDRXX, Blanck Mass’ World Eater, and PAN’s mono no aware compilation. --- Mount Eerie A Crow Looked At Me [P.W. Elverum & Sun] I can barely listen to A Crow Looked At Me, an album with little room for novelty, one I’m sure Phil Elverum never wanted to make. Death is the least novel thing in life, but it makes a novelty out of what never was before. Phil (who I feel maybe too close to now) makes white noise of branches, canyons of grocery store aisles, a sunset of what is not dust. He doesn’t have to make meaning of Death, because words become futile when confronted with something so simple and absolute. His grief seems just to be here, contained by the same microphone as guitar, the way someone who dies just can’t be. I don’t think music had ever made me cry only for someone else, but none of this sounds like it was made for anyone but Geneviève and himself. He says he doesn’t want to learn anything from his wife’s death, but by the time you’ve shut your eyes for 40 minutes, alone with the creaking floor and counted days and Pacific birds and spoken dreams, I can’t imagine not coming away with (something) more. It’s springtime. –Pat Beane --- Riddlore Afromutation [Nyege Nyege Tapes] The modest genius of Riddlore’s Afromutations, the January offering from Ugandan cassette label Nyege Nyege Tapes, stems from a certain perspectival grace. A longstanding figure of the Los Angeles hip-hop underground, Riddlore is known first as an emcee and second as a beatmaker. Afromutations sees the artist sketching a playful, iterative bass style drawn from samples of African field recordings, a hauntological gesture that in less subtle hands might fall into a self-serious wormhole. The tape’s beauty is in how the timbral mood of the samples gesture at and usher into place the recombinant scaffolding of the relatively untreated percussion, like how the choral tension that opens “Bakka Pygmies Riddim” blossoms into an eerie kuduro strut. Elsewhere, on “Afroed” and “The Crush,” drums and overlapping harmonies flange into natural psychedelias. Riddlore’s agenda-absent play allows the samples to mutate freely, and Nyege Nyege serves an adept platform for the project. –Nick Henderson Afromutations by RiddloreAfromutations by Riddlore --- The Necks Unfold [Ideologic Organ] To unfold, usually, is to grow, to expand; to sprawl. On their 19th release, The Necks have instead tightened their improvisational nous to four standalone pieces, invoking the mysticism of Cusanus: “unfolding is enfolding.” These anti-compositions unfold insofar as they protrude into space-time and become of-the-world, cosmological chaos and all; they enfold into the broader scheme of the album, all unified through the articulate chops of Messrs Abrahams, Swanton, and Buck. Between balance and imbalance, serenity and turbulence, the respective instrumental forces of the players here circumnavigate these side-long miniatures with microscopic focus and reticence, in characteristically Necks-ian fashion. And, even when compared with classics past, there’s no compromise on ambition, not a single wasted moment. Such is the dynamism of Unfold; what initially struck as blissful stasis, best suited for gazing into the pale blue yonder, gently opens up — and, yeah, unfolds — to yield four of the most self-contained, wholly busy musics that 2017 has had to offer thus far. –Soe Jherwood Cybervision Simulcast Sewer City [H.V.R.F. CENTRAL COMMAND] Sewer City kicks up all the residual funk of an urban galley. Where oil encrusted kebab meat sweats on rotation, busted street lights stutter into the night, and ripple-rich puddles highlight the only natural quality to animate the scene, as thick droplets of rain are spat down from the stubborn grey heavens above. Cybervision Simulcast drape this grizzly vision through the innards of a pitch-black bypass drenched in alarms, sirens, and ricochet. Everything points to a breakdown or dysfunction, as this bleak snapshot of municipal decay melts to nothingness through our slime-smeared fingers. But those signals of distress are incorporated within the process, and they are not to be heeded for what they might otherwise signify; they orchestrate the bass-inverted crank that punctuates the residue of samples, synths, and storyline. To suggest that this grizzled and failing image results in a perfect album would be distasteful — obscene, even. And yet, that’s precisely what’s happened every time I’ve taken the plunge so far. There is no light at the end of this tunnel. Let’s keep it that way. –Birkut SewerCity by Cybervision SimulcastSewerCity by Cybervision Simulcast --- Charli XCX Number 1 Angel [Asylum] Out of the cold dark dust, the Number 1 Angel spreads her wings for Utopia, so emotional and so sugary sweet it’ll rot your teeth. After one of the strangest ascensions (“I! Don’t! Care!”) in the pop industry, Charli XCX is thriving. VROOM VROOM’s EUREKA! production was Charli at a 100% synchronization rate, and now she’s spun a 40-minute pop slipstream, an outside World of babygirls and babyboys. The PC Music crew sheds some of the hyperreal, sourcing Charli’s charisma and songwriting prowess to shoot for real stars: color-coded bangers, sweatsoaked and tearstained, a clarity of vision that at once opens avataric and musical possibilities in the channel of Rihanna and Kesha. The party’s enfolding. Number 1 Angel is Charli’s every intuition refined in hi-fi, the best-yet gateway for anyone not already along for the ride. Ten songs for one night. Glitter in your underwear, left on red. Let’s ride! The closing trilogy of features (Uffie, ABRA, cupcakKe) is fucked-up perfect. Each outrunning the last, headfirst till the 90s bubblegum pops. The synths kick up cinnamon for a minute-long Secret Mix outro. Inextinguishable, enlightening. It’s Charli, baby. –Pat Beane [pagebreak] --- Various Artists Club Chai Vol. 1 [Club Chai] When you’re in the right club, with the right music, with the right crowd, you can feel your body. You’re present in it, in its creases and protrusions, in its decorations and accoutrements, in its movements and vibrations in space, in its careful caressings and navigations around and through other bodies. You can feel it as something fluid, the cells and lipstick and lungs and heels and bass and drugs and genders and hi-hats and drifting and splitting melodies and languages morphing the movement of your limbs into a movement of potentials. You think, “I am in this body and I am feeling these other bodies and I know that this body can be something else, it can be what it wants to be, it can be what it doesn’t want to be, this shell is the end and the beginning and I am going to be fucking gorgeous.” Club Chai is a loose collective of queer and trans club DJs and producers out of Oakland pushing that continuum into the right-now-right-now-right-now of sonic uncertainty, gender uncertainty, national uncertainty. And it feels right. –Jeffrey Dunn Rovinelli Club Chai Vol. 1 by Club ChaiClub Chai Vol. 1 by Club Chai --- Lawrence English Cruel Optimism [Room40] I consider myself an optimist, but I haven’t always been positive. My sense of trust in goodness has grown as I’ve unpacked how cynicism has poisoned many of my relationships (with partners, with friends, with art). Then again, being an optimist, as Louis CK once asserted, means being stupid. There’s a delicate balance between being confident in humanity’s potential for good and accepting humanity’s cruelty as simply the cost of business. Lawrence English’s latest release is music for contemplating what’s writhing around deep in humanity’s psyche. Its requiem is solemn, because nobody’s sense of “goodness” has won yet, its negative drones promising because they still have matter to vibrate through. Cruel Optimism is nominally a meditation on how human desire often breeds cruelty at humanity’s own expense, but as a sound work, it is also a reminder that optimism, shed of its colonizing skin, can overcome cruelty. –Jackson Scott Cruel Optimism by Lawrence EnglishCruel Optimism by Lawrence English --- Quelle Chris Being You Is Great, I Wish I Could Be You More Often [Mello Music Group] In college, a friend of mine had a line that went something like, “Your shit is wacker than the ‘you’ that every rapper writes about.” Although I can’t remember exactly how it went, or if it was ever even put to record, I always thought that was so dope: taking aim at the proverbial second person by acknowledging its ubiquitous metanarrative; uplifting recorded battle rap by breaking its third wall. Doper still, the idea that an omnipresent, sucker MC named “You” might actually exist. Being You Is Great, I Wish I Could Be You More Often complicates the above concept by incorporating hip-hop’s superego, the proverbial I, and framing that id character as both a role model for personal success and a self-destructive nemesis. Like “Who Am I” as a slapstick comedy about the creative process. –Samuel Diamond Being You Is Great, I Wish I Could Be You More Often by Quelle ChrisBeing You Is Great, I Wish I Could Be You More Often by Quelle Chris --- Sun Araw The Saddle of the Increate [Sun Ark/Drag City] The Saddle of the Increate shuffles the few short steps across from Belomancie’s chambers of internal refraction to twitch and twinge its way through into the shining territory of the lonesome whippoorwill — outdoors, that is. Well, at least there’s a pedal steel or two, a cactus, and a 10-gallon hat — it’s a [“psychedelic”] philosophic horse opera, tough as an actor, distracted but gruffly tender, especially in its latter sections. There’s a space and a half between every point; we can give names to/for every constellation, a classical reference or two even, but it’s still… complex — and how is the soul (your soul) distinct from its powers anyway? Spatially disorienting, temporally atomistic, concrete in image, plastic in execution: seven lampstands have become seven horses (and four hats, a head of cattle, one bowl, etc. etc.). Like pulling a wishbone with yourself, be 100% ready to spit in the skillet. –Michael J --- Graham Lambkin Community [ErstSolo/Kye] As Jackson Scott so rightly put, Graham Lambkin’s Community is “a document of what a community can create without dictating what a community should entail; it is evidence without the arrogance of conclusion.” Not community, but the evidence of community. In fact, the trace audible evidences of sound becoming located in new environments is exactly what establishes Lambkin’s practice and medium — a medium that so mysteriously auditions sonic evidence into richly communicative listening spaces. In Community, we are bathed by this evidence, in communion with it; it is threaded inside of the spaces we inhabit, our daily lives and interactions — those already in articulation. Voiced as such, the album is a masterclass in Lambkin’s quotidian character, flattened into a natural, weathered state close to the void — close to how impossible and brilliant our communities are. It reminds us that our communities exist often without us, within and without our human attempts to locate them. –scvscv --- Camedor En Ut / Alba [Debacle] The scoff that is heard ‘round the world at any mention of “world” music may not be the constructive criticism the catch-all term deserves, but it is the noise necessary to make a greater point. But may we suggest replacing that negativity with a positive denotation? Enter Camedor’s debut 12-inch, which is the sound of the world sucked into a wormhole wherein time, space, and location matter little. In a nutshell, it represents the “new” idea of world music, where we no longer place such a limiting genre marker on what is music now easily accessible to all. Both songs borrow from mid-century composers (including a “cover” of Terry Riley’s “In C”), but also pull everything out of the grab bag of motorik, drone, and pop. José Orozco Mora has layered it all into a wondrous noise that may heavily borrow from Western tropes and styles, but is music from parts (un)known. You may not catch much Berber or Aboriginal influence, but what matters is how Mora’s Camedor speaks to building bridges between cultures through music. It’s a shared form of expression, and the joyous, raucous nature of En Ut / Alba is a celebration of worlds colliding into symphonic harmony. –Jspicer En Ut / Alba by CamedorEn Ut / Alba by Camedor [pagebreak] --- Skullflower The Spirals of Great Harm [Cold Spring] The Spirals of Great Harm has a clear lineage in the Skullflower discography. It’s a step beyond Strange Keys to Untune Gods Firmament (also a double album) and Taste the Blood of the Deceiver, though it follows a similar trek down the left-hand path. Played at a low volume, its minor key melodies and themes are apparent enough, but turn it up and its lacerating feedback has a much harsher effect. Bower and collaborator Samantha Davies (the only other constant in the modern Skullflower lineup) unleash hell through ritual guitar abuse. Outsiders may not readily understand how much different this album is from 2014’s dragon-themed Draconis, but to longtime admirers, it’s a step away from that album’s meandering psych, the style of which Bower used to reserve for his Sunroof! project. Kneeling in worship at the altar of the underworld, stacks of amplifiers in tow, Bower and Davies have crafted another indispensable addition to their canon. –Joe Davenport --- Xiu Xiu FORGET [Polyvinyl] Pray for Xiu Xiu. As many of their contemporaries have either faded from the record and/or embraced a life as background material for iPod commercials [ed: NO SHADE ON IPODS], Jamie Stewart’s long-running project has — like unchecked tooth decay — only deepened with age. Delivering maybe their most “accessible” album since formative hit Fabulous Muscles (a record whose key lyric was still “Cremate me after you cum on my lips”), FORGET brings all the self-loathing, harsh sarcasm, wonky instrumentation, and harrowing Dennis Cooperisms we have come to depend on from the Xiuverse. Whether you love it or not, Stewart and his gang have sustained a distinct interpretation of the world through what can feel like a lifetime’s worth of trend-shifting; for this alone, the band’s persistence should be cherished. That FORGET is one of their best albums to date is a surprise and a delight, the sign of a legacy act finding new life (the light, New Order-echoing “Get Up” is an album highlight) and handing us a deceptively poppy, booby-trapped gift to both longtime fans and newcomers. –Dylan Pasture FORGET by Xiu XiuFORGET by Xiu Xiu --- Rashad Becker Traditional Music of Notional Species Vol. II [PAN] Rashad Becker is a musician who is known for mastering other musicians’ work. His operation at Dubplates & Mastering is prolific and now famous in the world of experimental and electronic music, its most recent accomplishments including masters of The Necks’ Unfold, Visible Cloaks’ Reassemblage, and the great new PAN compilation Mono No Aware, but probably the most adventurous and distinctive of the records Becker has engineered of late is his own. He makes music with the freedom of a person who spends a lot of time thinking about the relationship between music and media of expression. PAN officially describes Becker’s Notions as “synthesized sounds that appear to exist hauntingly physical,” alluding to the tension between creativity and materials that enters always into the musical imagination, the tension that Becker gets paid to negotiate on artists’ behalf. The physical “haunts” music, not as an antagonist as if all music were not physical at least in origin, but because of what is risked, what is lost, and what is made when music passes from one physical medium to another, as in the representation of the rapid movements of a trombone’s bell as bumps on a slab of vinyl. Where his first volume of Traditional Music was a bit more self-similar, built from the whirring of buglike tensions and releases, Becker’s second effort explores the glowing horror and breath of reanimation. With species even more personable and diverse than those of its far-out predecessor, Traditional Music of Notional Species Vol. II is nothing short of an event in electronic music. –Will Neibergall Traditional Music of Notional Species Vol. II (PAN 74) by Rashad BeckerTraditional Music of Notional Species Vol. II (PAN 74) by Rashad Becker --- We’ll See x Treece (Prod Hyro) Constructions Tape [SWMS/Self-Released] Drizzy Aubrey may be hip-hop’s new international playboy, assembling identities like a collector on safari, but the UK hip-hop and grime scene has been strong for a while now. We’ll See and Treece, along with lo-fi necromancer Hyro, present an alternative to the rude glitz of Skepta, a drowsy, dour romp through England’s South West and Manchester, tagging walls, popping pills, and trading deft, witty wordplay. There’s something theatrical, entrancing about the scenes on Constructions Tape, and they fade in and out of view like fragments from a VHS tape in a Buckfast bottle. Hyro is as much a character as the MCs — the beats on “SNES-CD” and “Krylon” are loose and minimal. “Rizla” is a stunning example of his sizzling, ambient lo-fi technique. The drugs are the same, the liquor is the same (the slang a little different). For those who find it hard to relate to life on the other side of the Atlantic, you can dig the lads’ antics in a tape-length music video, which explores the highways, fallow fields, and windy beaches of Britain. We’ll See and Treece are practically alone in the entire piece, ghosts in a glittering, unforgiving city. –Ross Devlin Constructions Tape by We'll See x Treece (Prod Hyro)Constructions Tape by We'll See x Treece (Prod Hyro) --- Jon Mueller dHrAaNwDn [Rhythmplex] Jon Mueller’s dHrAaNwDn is deep and resonant, each quadrant of the 2xLP package filling a distinct void. Mueller is adept at bending innovative recording techniques to fit his drum-offs, and this might be one of his most elaborate schemes. The excerpts found on the wax were captured by a full mobile studio at the historically cogent meeting house of the Shaker Historical Society in Albany, NY. And if you’ve ever been to Albany (as I have, a ton), you know there’s an odd artistic energy enveloping the overlooked city. Using the cavernous environment to its aural advantage, dHrAaNwDn sprawls its percussive attacks out evenly, the dank toms thumping, jumping, and bumping. It’s akin to those loooong rows of files I used to sleep amid when I worked at a complex housing warehouses full of legal files: orderly, sequential, and all-encompassing in its grandeur. dHrAaNwDn hits harder than a drone-out and more comprehensively than the huge push of air that accompanies an explosion, the sound waves bouncing rustically off the “wood and white walls” of the house. So much more to say, so little space; white vinyl, only 200 copies, no digital version, gorgeous artwork, Mueller exploring yet another avant avenue that no one thought to truss. –Grant ‘Gumshoe’ Purdum --- Amnesia Scanner AS Truth [Self-Released] AS Truth provides a severely ungrounded experience. Leitmotifs abound (water, club, shifter, voice, trepan), Amnesia Scanner build a dizzying piece that is colossally unfathomable yet pragmatically short — done before its working becomes cruel. Living in the tiny turns and rarely caring for much larger than that, AS Truth is the pregame and the function (the buzz and the twitch [the trepanation across the nation (the boogie and the drop) that burrs the hole] that feeds the demon) that wakes you up. I love this album, and OK, in case you’re wondering, I found this for you: this. I guess the surgeon is “actually a quack” but look at him, funny guy. Oh, and apparently this guy trepanned himself. Only later do we find out that ~no~ he didn’t. –Ben Levinson AS TRUTH (MIXTAPE) by Amnesia ScannerAS TRUTH (MIXTAPE) by Amnesia Scanner [pagebreak] --- LAMPGOD GOD SHIT EP [Self-Released] “Hey: what’s happening?” is the sound, and it’s me looking for the voice source. “How y’all doing?” (really though how am I doing?) and I can’t put my finger on it (can’t touch a sound, Frank, duh.) What’s means? Someone put some solid white lines between lanes (as if you could keep things separate, as if we all moved in one direction at a time), someone ripped up all the pavement (“‘cause I’m negative”), killed all the streetlamps (“and I’m dark”) some LAMPGOD blows up the means and throws up me. Cause when you wrap all the pavement ‘round your waste, you get GOD SHIT, the influence of ecstasy of ecstasy. Can’t touch a sound, and in this dark, I don’t want to not resolve: “We gotta help each other out, man, renourish the soil.” It’s soil or soul, this driving both ways. It’s GOD SHIT, the garbage divine, the that that’s happening. –Frank Falisi LAMPGOD - GOD SHIT EP by LAMPGODLAMPGOD - GOD SHIT EP by LAMPGOD --- Dale Cornish Cut Sleeve [Halcyon Veil] Room to think is never enough space as you’ve imagined. And Cut Sleeve is just extra for “t-shirt.” So breathe. So much area to cover. So here we have Dale Cornish satirizing modern house music. Beyond that, the Winnipeggian is using Cut Sleeve to comment on a variety of “scene” motifs that continue with the club-politics of Halcyon Veil (i.e., queer culture, auteur vanity, architectural ouroboros, etc.). Only this time, Dale Cornish provides a brooding outsider mentality, blending dark alley grime and abstract dancefloor narration, settling Cut Sleeve in light of summer nights partying in the park, in a ditch or pond, and never quite coming back into reality as before. Ever. –C Monster Cut Sleeve by Dale CornishCut Sleeve by Dale Cornish --- HIRS YØU CAN’T KILL US [Get Better] The pink and purple hue line-blocking the resistant and persisting declaration in bold white-as-day fuck-you lettering YØU CAN’T KILL US. Through the five-track, five-minute EP and 100+ shows through LGBTQIA spaces and hundreds of tracks, HIRS have made further ground down the chaff of their enemies and turned the opposition into dust under their boot. And though they’ve already released a split with LIFES in dedication to all their lost friends, TRANS GIRL TAKE OVER 2K17, and an underheard release called MAGICal/WANDerful (from which all money made goes directly to Morris Home), we keep dedicating our five minute breaks at work to it. It’s raw and fervent, tearing the stitches out from the seams of their oppressor and dividing it among the trans community, leaving a powerful, anxious, angry, passionate residue that we will never wash off. –Monet Maker YØU CAN'T KILL US by HIRSYØU CAN'T KILL US by HIRS --- Dedekind Cut The Expanding Domain [Self-Released] $uccessor’s scion in every way, The Expanding Domain is simply the planar enlargement of Dedekind Cut’s starkly heterogeneous sound. Chimerizing practically every experimental electronic form one can imagine, each track blooms from chill aestivation into confounding calyces of spiraling noise and hyaline synths. Likewise in ontogeny, The Expanding Domain maintains a perennial coiling and uncoiling, as the final cut, “Das Expanded, Untitled Riff,” gives way to the EP’s opening in “Cold Bloom.” His strength is in grafting his raging and rimose rhythms to the divaricate New Age and ambient sounds his newest project has embraced. Simultaneously serrate and undulate, his sonic palette (complemented by the likes of Elysia Crampton, Dominick Fernow, and Mica Levi) unnerves and calms. The static-wreathed stabs of “LiL Puffy Coat” float atop a ponderous plod and the crushing-crushed breaks of the title cut find balance from a languishing wash and a hint of melody. It feels complete and self-sustaining yet always groping outward toward more. A sonic inflorescence, The Expanding Domain is the further coil of the tendril, the greater spread of the rhizome, the deeper growth of the genet. –Cynocephalus "The Expanding Domain (ded005)" EP by Dedekind Cut,"The Expanding Domain (ded005)" EP by Dedekind Cut, --- Pinkcourtesyphone Talk The Pleasure Out of It [Champion Version] Minimalist and ambient music are the aural equivalent of abstract art. Maligned by the uninitiated for their perceived simplicity (read: boring, easy to cobble together) when in actual fact anyone who has ever tried to paint an abstract on canvas finds quite quickly how difficult it is to decide what to put where — or more specifically, what not to put almost everywhere. And therein lies the art. Pinkcourtesyphone is fast establishing a reputation as the Mondrian of music minimalism. With so few concepts and sounds throughout Talk the Pleasure Out of It, it’s breathtaking how much emotion and mood is packed into this all-too-brief EP from the opening bars. –Marty Slattery talk the pleasure out of it by PINKCOURTESYPHONEtalk the pleasure out of it by PINKCOURTESYPHONE --- Demdike Stare Wonderland [Modern Love] Demdike Stare’s first album since 2012, Wonderland produces prismatic color from a grayscale jungle, crosshatching inert beat blocks and blunt chords into tight, combative spaces in order to glimpse a few seconds of beautiful moiré. Between stark silences and loud silver smacks, loose atoms offer subtle signs of life, suggesting endless, complex revisions — small but seminal shifts into new structures, trickled off from the eroding monolith of “industrial” and fully escaped from the aesthetic trappings of “hauntology.” Fans of past records will recognize the esoteric sampling and tough breaks (especially if they’re fans of the Testpressing series), but the level of abstraction on display is newly inspired, with new rhythms and juxtapositions hinting at new modes of expression at every turn. At its core is a pure love of creation, boundless energy picking up inertia amid extreme restraint, transforming all the techno it touches. The humanity is there, but it’s hidden, in corners and in shadows, as still as can be, confident someone will eventually find it anyway. Stay active. –Adam Devlin http://j.mp/2o8xWPc