#Buck (Eaten Alive) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

urdepressedslut · 1 year ago

Note

Hello lovely,

I saw your post that your requests are open, so I will give it a try =)

Imagine Bucky and reader are best friends but they have a huge argument and now they don't talk to each other for days. She's feeling really bad, missing him. He is her most important person and now without interacting with him for days, she's feeling lost and lonely and heartbroken. Maybe she has not a super power and is only a normal human, helping the Avengers with IT or something. Due to the argument with her best friend and not talking to Bucky (Bucky ignores her completely) she begins to feel it not only mental but also physically. She can't eat probably and at the end falls deathly sick.... With a fluffy happy ending and a worried and protective Bucky

Please. That would be nice.

Take care honey

oh my goodness— my heart 😭❤️ the angst is gonna hurt, but i’m such a sucker for it. i had so much fun writing this one, thank you for requesting and i hope you like it🥰

Love Hurts

♡ Pairing: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: You and Bucky get into a heated argument, things are said and done and now he won’t speak to you. You don’t think you can handle him ignoring your existence.

♡ Warnings: language, mentions of bucky’s trauma, heavy angst, malnourishment, depression, anxiety/panic attacks, minor injuries, hospitalization, suicidal ideation, self hate, literally hurt just writing this

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MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | MATURE CONTENT 18+

Your nails bit into your palm, denting the flesh— threatening to pierce the delicate skin. It was all to hold yourself back, distract you from the words that wanted to burst out.

It was becoming a sickening routine, Bucky was reckless and had yet another near death experience on his recent mission. The anxiety and the nerves stopping your body from functioning— the dreaded wait for his jet to arrive back at the compound. You shouldn’t have to be used of receiving the call that he had yet again made a reckless move— but you were starting to discover a pattern.

It did nothing to ease the panic that swirled in your chest every time he left for missions. You’d sob, throwing up everything you had eaten that day— unable to stomach anything with the idea that Bucky was on a mission. You never found your anxiety to be so severe— but when Bucky was even mentioned about going on a mission… it spiked.

That’s where you found yourself in his room, watching him pace the space— avoiding your frustrated stare. You weren’t angry at him per say— you were angry that he didn’t value his life.

“Seriously (Y/n)— you get so worked up over nothing. I’m here and alive— isn’t that enough?” He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.

You pressed your nails tighter to your palm, yet the pain couldn’t stop your thundering thoughts.

“You’re here and alive now, until you do some stupid shit like this again and are dead!” You hissed, trying to keep your voice low but you didn’t know how much longer you could control yourself.

He glared at you, squinting his eyes in anger and then rolling his eyes.

“Oh for fucks sake— can you stop fucking babying me? I can handle myself!” He raised his voice, his metal arm whirring.

“I’m not babying you— I’m just scared you’re gonna get yourself killed. Do you care about your life at all?” You asked him aggressively, your voice raising just a tad.

He took a long pause, staring at you with his face void of emotion— only annoyance.

“Not really.” He admitted.

You were taken back, although you had these conversations with him a time or twenty. It was an ongoing process to get him to slowly love himself— his past as The Winter Soldier torturing his soul. He was so convinced he wasn’t deserving of anything, not even a roof over his head. It was a struggle to help him, but you weren’t going to give up on him.

“You realize if anything ever happened to you I—” Your voice broke, needing a breath, “Buck I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

You thought you saw his eyes flash with guilt, but before you could linger on the look for too long— his face was hardening again.

“That doesn’t sound like my problem.” He mumbled out, making your eyes widen.

You were extremely taken back from those words, your chest aching painfully— him not knowing what effect those words had on you.

“Are you fucking serious?” You asked him, your face morphing into a hurt expression, mixed with anger. ��Can you just do your job without trying to kill yourself?”

His face grew red with rage and he was stomping up towards you— his face inches from yours.

“I am doing my job— very well in fact. Unlike you who just fucking sits here doing nothing!” He defended himself, his breath hitting your face in warm pants.

“Doing nothing? Buck— why are you like this?” You puffed your chest, not backing down from his towering form.

But your words seemed to have hit a nerve, as he shrunk back slightly, narrowing his gaze at you.

“Like what?”

You furrowed your brows, slowing your racing heart from the shouting— you weren’t sure you had said anything bad. Did you?

“What?” You squeaked out, nervous now.

“You said, why am I like this… like what?” He pushed, stepping closer to you now, his face still red with anger but you could see the hurt in his eyes.

You swallowed and wondered how to convince him you didn’t mean anything bad by what you said. But you were almost positive it would be an impossible task to get Bucky to listen.

“Buck, I didn’t mean anythin—”

“What— you think I’m not capable of doing my job? You think I’m still the monster hydra made me?” He spat, his chest rising and falling quicker.

“No, no Buck listen—”

That was definitely not what you meant, you could tell he was spiraling and you were still confused as to why. You would never make him think that.

“After 70 fucking years I finally have a job that I like— that I enjoy doing— I fucking help people! I’m finally doing some good and now you’re telling me I’m not capable of doing it?” He boomed, his chest puffing into yours and your stumbled back slightly. “You think I’m only capable of being a monster? Huh? Is that what you fucking think?”

You were growing scared now, the look in his eyes wild with something and you didn’t like how close he was to you— you knew he’d never hurt you but your fear overwhelmed your senses.

“Friday— call Steve and Sam in here now!” You shouted into the room, and Bucky’s eyes squinted painfully— his metal arm whirring again.

Bucky only saw one thing— you didn’t reassure him that he was thinking irrationally. You didn’t correct him that he wasn’t the monster. Instead you called for help, that you were clearly scared— because you thought he was a monster.

He was at a loss for words and just stared at you, almost through you— as his breathing was only getting heavier at the sight of your fearful eyes.

Not even minutes later, Steve and Sam were busting through the door, taking in the scene and separated you and Bucky.

“Hey— what’s going on?” Steve asked in between the two of you. “Buck, what’s wrong man?”

You couldn’t seem to find the words and just stood speechless as well— the fight startling you. This was one of the worst ones, and it was also one that still left you confused. You cursed yourself for not being careful enough with your words— but it was almost impossible to get through to him when he was on the brink of having an episode.

Sam walked closer to you, his facing morphing into concern as he took in your shocked expression.

“(Y/n)? You okay? Did he hurt you?” Sam whispered, keeping his words only between you two.

You slowly shook your head but still didn’t respond verbally.

“Okay, okay that’s good. You wanna go get a drink from downstairs? Why don’t we take a breather okay?” Sam suggested softly, big brother mode kicking in at the sight of your frazzled state.

Without another word, you left the room with Sam— missing the devastated look from Bucky.

Steve waited until the door shut, then his attention was back on Bucky.

“Buck, you gotta talk to me man— what happened?” He asked softly, watching his friend slowly relax, but it wasn’t from being in a relaxing mood— his body and mind were just exhausted from the argument.

“I fucked everything up. That’s what happened.” He mumbled, turning away from Steve to sit on the edge of his bed.

Steve followed behind but stood in front of him, shaking his head— ready to argue.

“You didn’t mess anything up, arguments happen. You guys will work it out. I know how much you mean to each other.” Steve pointed out, watching Bucky’s face unchanging.

“You didn’t see the way she looked at me— she’s scared of me I—” He shuttered, his breath shaky as he remembered your look, “I fucking scared her.”

Steve’s chest ached, the state of his friend breaking his heart. He knew Bucky meant no harm, and he almost for a fact knew that you knew that too. But Bucky for sure didn’t believe that himself.

“I didn’t see what you saw, but I can guarantee you that she’s not afraid of you. This is (Y/n) we are talking about. You are her world Buck.” Steve tried to convince him.

Bucky shook his head, running his flesh hand through his hair.

“I think I just need to stay away from her for awhile.” Bucky came up with instead.

Steve immediately started shaking his head, knowing that was the last thing he needed.

“Bucky I—”

“Please Steve… I just need some space.” Bucky pleaded, his body sagging in exhaustion.

Steve couldn’t find it in himself to argue with him anymore about this. Maybe he did need some time to himself, to cool down and gather his thoughts. Also Steve wasn’t going to force him to anything ever. After the years his pal went through— he would never make him do anything. He had enough things decided for him, and Steve wasn’t about to stoop to hydra’s level.

Meanwhile down in the kitchen, Sam was getting you a glass of water— standing across from your seated form at the island. He slid the cup across, sending a worried glance at you.

“(Y/n)?” Sam snapped his fingers getting your attention.

You were shaken from your state of staring, but even snapped out of the trance— the anxieties still swirled within you.

“Yeah sorry… I’m here.” You whispered, grabbing the glass and taking a tiny sip.

Sam gave you a quizzical expression, watching you start to slip back into a mindless stare— so he spoke up.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” He asked, genuinely curious what had went down.

He knew— hell everyone knew you and Bucky were extremely close. Best of friends, always there for one another— dancing on the line of strictly friends to lovers. Truthfully, Sam found it completely obnoxious and just wanted you two together already.

“I don’t really know… I think I said the wrong thing— I didn’t mean to make him upset.” You confessed, keeping your eyes on the countertop, not risking a glance to Sam.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up— mistakes happen. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” Sam told you.

You shook your head, gripping the cup tighter.

“God I hope so… I don’t know what I’d do without him.” You whispered pathetically, tears welling in your eyes.

Sam reached out to rub your arm comfortingly, trying to relax you so you didn’t start crying. He hated to see you cry— made his heart hurt.

“It’s been a long day for everyone, why don’t you go head upstairs and get some sleep. I’m sure things will have blown over by tomorrow.” He suggested and you finally met his gaze, smiling weakly and nodding.

Without saying goodbye, you stood up and headed to your room. Taking Sam’s words and playing them on repeat in your head.

Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow would be better.

God had you hoped that was the case— it only was the beginning on the torment.

You had slept in longer than usual, but overall felt refreshed. The first thing that came to mind when fully waking up was Bucky. Immediately you headed downstairs to find him— needing to talk with him— apologize.

Making it down to the kitchen, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in at the sight of him sitting at the island— sipping at his coffee. You furrowed your brows, thinking he'd be done with his coffee by now, since you had slept in. Your chest ached with guilt with the possibility that he didn't sleep well.

You took a deep breath before making yourself known, although you were sure be could sense you in the room— considering he was a super soldier.

"Morning Buck." You announced, walking around the island so you could face him.

He kept his gaze down at his coffee, finding the cup more interesting than you.

Okay, that’s fair. You thought, you most probably deserved that reaction.

“You sleep okay?” You asked again, picking at the skin on your nails nervously.

Again— he didn’t even lift his head. In fact, he wasn’t even acknowledging you. You waited several minutes for a response, the silence becoming thick with tension and you couldn’t stand it.

“Bucky?” You tried, and this time he lifted his head.

Your heart twinged in your chest at his bloodshot eyes, clear evidence that he hadn’t gotten good sleep. You hated yourself for causing him the stress, especially knowing he was just starting to actually get hours of sleep. It was huge progress compared to his nights either screaming awake or just staring at the walls. But now you had to go and ruin all that progress. You felt sick to your stomach— disgusted with yourself.

“I’m really sorry about last night… I didn’t like how ugly it got and I’m sorry if I said something to upset you— you know I’d never intentionally hurt you.” You told him, picking more aggressively at your nails, causing to nail beds to bleed.

You swallowed nervously when he didn’t answer right away, instead staring at you with… what was that? Disgust? You didn’t know, but you hated the look altogether.

“Bucky, please say something.” You pleaded.

Bucky lowered his gaze to his coffee again, taking a minute before he stood up and looked your way.

“I just need some space.” He told you quietly.

You were relived to have him finally talk to you, but to hear him suggest space between you two— you could almost feel the knife digging into your chest. You tried to keep a neutral expression but otherwise felt your bottom lip quiver.

Without giving you time to respond, Bucky was walking out of the room— leaving you standing there speechless, lungs begging for air. You didn’t want your mind to go immediately to that thought, but you couldn’t ignore it either— he hated you.

“Hey babe, I need you to help me out in the lab tod—” Tony came busting into the room, but immediately shut up once he saw your broken expression. “Honey, what’s wrong? You alright?”

You nodded your head, lying to him and yourself and started waving him off with the fakest smile.

“Yeah— yeah I’m good. Just need to uh— need to get some things done.” You told him, your eyes darting all around the room, the familiar feeling of panic seeping into your being.

Tony gave you a ‘really?’ look and stepped closer to you.

“(Y/n) I’m not blind— I can see you’re upset. Talk to m—”

“Seriously Tony— I’m fine! Just leave it alone!” You told him a little too aggressively.

His face was taken back and you felt guilty immediately, cursing yourself for hurting everyone.

Why are you such a fucking issue? Your mind screamed at you.

You didn’t waste another second and sped walked out of the room, needing to calm yourself down before you ran into any one else. You were spiraling and you needed to just relax— take a deep breath. Maybe you just needed one more day and things would be back to normal.

Yeah… just one more day.

You had hoped that was the case as well… but as always— things only got worse.

Bucky refused to talk to you or even look at you. He’d given you the cold shoulder for almost two weeks now. He would get up and leave the second you entered the room. He couldn’t stand you it seemed.

You couldn’t keep hiding your hurt. At first, you had done a good job at hiding how you were really feeling. Saving the sobbing and attacks for when you were alone in your room. As the days lingered on, you found yourself weak and drained— you didn’t have enough energy to put up a charade anymore.

The whole team were sending you worried looks, and attempted to talk with you. But the second they’d try— you’d bolt. The subject was too sensitive, too raw. You didn’t want to talk to anyone but Bucky— and he hated you.

You had missed so many meals, forgetting to eat with your mental struggles throughout the days. You had been getting no more than two hours of sleep. You were so stressed, so stuck in your own mind that you couldn’t function. Even when you had managed to remember to eat, your stomach would knot up to the point that you were throwing everything up. You were gaunt, basically a real life zombie. You needed help— but you needed Bucky more.

You were laying in bed staring unknowingly into space, it had been hard to focus with no food or sleep in your system— so you had only managed to lay here. Even that was exhausting, no matter how much you laid around— your mind wouldn’t stop the assault. Your anxiety had never been this bad, you were a prisoner to it.

Knocking at your door had you jumping, your heart racing— and for a moment you forgot where you were.

You’re in the compound… yeah that’s right.

You slowed your breathing and swung your legs sluggishly over the edge of the bed to answer it. You weren’t prepared for the sudden dizzy spell, your vision spotting with black and white specks. You tried to blink it off, but suddenly you were toppling to the ground.

You fell to the floor with a loud thump, luckily landing on your front, your hands somehow catching most of your fall— you could already feel the throbbing in your palms.

You didn’t hear the persistent knocking, or the door open. You didn’t even hear the voice speaking from the doorway. It was when a hand landed on your shoulder that you were gasping, forgetting your surroundings once again.

Your eyes met Steve’s and you swore your heart was about to beat out of your chest.

“(Y/n) are you alright?” He asked you, hovering his hands over you— not sure what you had hurt.

You furrowed your brows, looking him over.

“Steve what are… what are you doing here?” You asked genuinely confused.

You watched Steve’s eyes widen and he swallowed nervously— his expression growing more concerned.

“(Y/n) it’s okay… I’ve got you.” Steve hushed, and he was pulling you into his chest, hugging you protectively.

You were still confused but then you tasted one of your stray tears, and you immediately came to your senses. You were crying in Steve’s arms… but why? You were having gaps of time missing from you, this wasn’t the first time this had happened— you just didn’t seem to care.

“Steve… my head hurts.” You slurred into his chest, sagging against him.

You were grateful that he was here, you desperately needed someone around. You were just hoping that someone would’ve been Bucky.

“Okay, let’s get you to Helen. She’s gonna take care of you, okay?” Steve asked you, and you could only give a weak nod.

He knew there was no way you were walking there, so he hoisted you up into his arms, and cradled your head as he started to the med bay.

You just stared blankly at his chest, not really caring if Steve were to throw you off the roof of the building. You just didn’t care.

Steve had gotten you down to her, and she checked you out. Alerting Steve that you were extremely malnourished, dehydrated— an insomniac. She kept listing off all the things Steve was afraid to hear. The whole time he was sure you didn’t hear a thing, although you were in the room— you were just checked out.

Helen eventually left, and Steve took his opportunity to speak with you. He pulled up a chair next to the hospital bed and grabbed your hand.

“(Y/n), what’s going on? You can talk to me— you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Please… just talk to me.” Steve whispered, pleading with you that you would stop torturing yourself.

“He hates me.” You mumbled.

Steve’s eyes widened and he frowned, knowing what you meant. He knew he let this go on for too long.

“(Y/n) he doesn’t hate you. He just needed time to himself, so he co—”

“I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, I don’t even know what I said to hurt him but I—” You rushed out, the heart monitor beeping frantically, “I’m a horrible person, I didn’t mean to— I didn’t mean to!”

You wheezed out, clutching your chest as you couldn’t catch your breath. Your cheeks glistened with a steady stream of tears, your wheezing only growing by the second.

“Okay, okay (Y/n)— I need you to slow your breathing. You’re okay, he doesn’t hate you. Just take deep breaths okay— even if you can’t just try. I’m here.” He tried to coach you, but this wasn’t his thing.

Now he was starting to get mad at his friend, Bucky shouldn’t of let this go on for this long.

You followed his chest rising and falling, staring at him as he tried to calm you down. Your breaths were heavy and painful sounding. Steve was about to say something but stopped himself when he saw your eyes look behind him.

He turned and saw Bucky standing in the doorway— his face paled. Truthfully, he looked like he was going to be sick.

“(Y/n)?” He whispered, his heart breaking at your state.

He had ran into Helen in the kitchen and was informed of your condition— he didn’t believe it and had to see for himself. He was shocked to find you like this.

Your tears only edged on from his appearance and you shook your head in shame.

“I’m sorry Bucky! Whatever I did, I’m sorry!” You sobbed and Bucky ran to the bed, kneeling down and taking your hands into his.

“Doll it’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here— I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you… I’m sorry.” He rushed out, shushing your cries, watching you slow your breathing at his words. “There we go, just keep breathing with me. I’m here, you’re okay.”

He kept repeating himself, making sure you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

Steve knew you were in good hands and slowly snuck out of the room— knowing you two needed to talk.

Bucky tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, letting his fingers trail down your cheek to your jaw. You couldn’t help the way your face leaned into his touch, it felt like it had been forever since the last one.

Your breathing had slowed down, and now you just stared up at him— eyes glossy with more tears. You felt so many emotions. You felt relived, but also angry and hurt. Above all— you needed to know what you did to upset him. The guilt still ate away at your heart, and even just the memory of the argument had your chest aching.

“What did I do?” You whispered, making his eyes shoot up to yours, concern painting his face.

“You didn’t do anything.” He told you, and you furrowed your brows.

You were still anxious— he hadn’t answered your question. Even more so— if you didn’t do anything then why did he ignore you?

“Then why?”

“Why what (Y/n)?” He dared to ask, and you scoffed— ripping your hands out of his.

The anger was approaching.

“Why did you shut me out?” You wondered, and he only let his eyes cast down to the bed— making you angrier. “You ignored me for two weeks! Two fucking weeks you just acted as if I didn’t exist! Do you know how much that fucking hurts?”

You were breathing heavy again, but this time it wasn’t from panic— it was the full force of all your anger bursting out.

He lifted his eyes to you, and you saw how broken he looked. How your state had affected him.

“I could never do that to you Buck— I would never do that to you! You’re my everything! I don’t trust anyone as much as I trust you!” You raised your voice, while he stayed silent. “If I didn’t do anything then why would you— why—”

You broke out into a sob, covering your face with your hands. You felt good getting all the built up anger out— but now you felt extremely guilty. The pitiful face of Bucky staring at you, causing your heart to hurt all over again. It didn’t matter what happened, you always ended up hurting others.

“(Y/n) I’m so sorry I— god I fucked up. I didn’t ever mean to hurt you, please know that. You’re my other half, and no one has ever been there for me like you have.” He spoke through a tight throat, swelling with emotion.

You uncovered your face and just stared at him a little longer, still incredibly hurt from his actions— but you knew you couldn’t stay mad at him. You so badly wanted to forgive and forget— and just wrap him in your arms like you both needed.

“It’s hard to explain what’s wrong with me to someone when I don’t even understand what’s wrong with me— I just know I’m fucked up. I’m broken beyond repair.” His voice broke, his own eyes welling with tears.

You didn’t have it in you to keep up an angry facade, and so you reached out and took his hand in yours. His face almost immediately lit up, his breathing slowing at your touch.

“Try me.” You whispered, watching Bucky take a deep breath before he spoke again.

“The night of our fight…” He started, and you swallowed in having to remember that night. “I had never seen you look at me like that.”

You stayed silent, afraid to open your mouth and have a sob escape. You could feel it bubbling up— the memory playing back through your mind.

“You looked at me like you were scared. You looked at me like I was a monster.” He confessed and it all made sense to you now.

It wasn’t about what you said, it was your reaction that disturbed him to no ends. Even if you couldn’t control your reaction in the moment— you still felt guilty for causing him pain of remembering the hydra days.

“Oh Buck…” You whimpered, trying to pull him close— but he pulled away before he could reach your embrace.

“No— you don’t get to be nice to me after what I did. I promised I would never hurt you and I did— you’re in here because of me! I don’t deserve your forgiveness!” He raised his voice, and you weren’t scared of him— just concerned.

“I wasn’t scared of you Bucky, you just caught me off guard. Things were heated— I’m not afraid of you and I most definitely don’t think you’re a monster.” You tried to convince him.

“I really hope you’re not lying because if you were afraid of me… god I don’t know what I’d do. If you never wanted to see me again— that’s fine. Whatever you want, but I can’t live knowing you’re afraid of me.” He whimpered out.

“I wouldn’t lie to you.”

He nodded his head, knowing damn well you’d never lie. That was one thing he loved about you— you were so honest. Keeping it real with him, even if he didn’t wanna hear it. He could count on you for the truth.

“I still don’t deserve your forgiveness.” He argued.

“Well too bad, I’m forgiving you anyway.” You finally told him and he felt his chest expand.

Like he could finally breath.

“Why?” He wondered.

You knew it was the line you two had been dancing on forever— but you knew if there was ever a time to say it. It was now.

“Because I love you.” You admitted quietly.

His eyes widened just slightly, and his breath stuttered. He had always had a feeling what you two had was more than friends, he just never spoke up about it. Of course he loves you too— god he loves you so much. That’s why the thought of you being scared of him was enough to pull him away. He couldn’t bear being around you if you were frightened by him. He couldn’t live with himself. More importantly he now discovered, he really couldn’t live without you.

“I love you so much.” He confessed back as your tears leaked down your cheeks.

You pulled his arm, and he let you pull him to the bed— close enough where you could cup both his cheeks.

“Don’t ever do that to me again, please. I need you Bucky— life is not livable without you.” You cried, kissing his forehead to which he leaned into your lips.

“Never again— I promise.”

This time, he wouldn’t break it.

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redvelvetcupcakes21 · 23 days ago

Text

Bobby greeted Hen and Chimney with a hug, "Any updates?" He asked, knowing from their maudlin expressions that nothing had changed since early this morning.

They both shook their heads no. "Docs are hopeful he'll wake up, but they're worried about damage to his spine." Chimney said lowly, rubbing his jaw tiredly.

Bobby nodded sagely; he figured the damages would be serious. His breath had been knocked out of him when he saw the younger first responder had been impaled by a branch and his face had been cut up by glass. "Has the hospital been able to contact his family?"

Hen licked her lips, looking a bit teary as she and Chimney shared a sad look. "His cousin is on the way from San Francisco." She said tersely.

Bobby frowned at that, "That's it? What about his parents? Siblings?"

Chimney shrugged; his arms crossed defensively. "They stopped wanting anything to do with him, Bobby."

Bobby felt a rush of annoyance at that, he was ready to snap till he realized...

"Oh." He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Has Buck even left his side?"

It was Eddie who answered, coming up from behind Bobby with a carrier tray of hospital coffee. "Nope." Eddie sighed, "Hasn't left his side since they got him out of the OR."

Bobby checked his watch; Buck had been awake for more than 24 hours then. They were already doing a 48 and where in hour 40 when they received the call. Despite Bobby's orders, Buck rushed onto the scene.

Buck's yells had him nearly want to sedate Buck or hug him once they saw how hurt Tommy really was.

"He needs to get some rest." Bobby insisted, "Did he even eat?"

"We tried, he's not handling this well, Bobby." Hen confessed worriedly; her voice shaky as Eddie pulled her into a half hug.

Bobby swallowed audibly.

He knew his soft spot for Buck was obvious. He saw bits and pieces of himself in Buck, he saw a version of what Robert Jr could have been if he had lived.

He had never wanted this for Buck.

For Buck to go through the worse thing Bobby had ever gone through.

To see the man he thought of as a son sob and shout about saving the love of his life as they pulled Tommy away from the wreckage.

Barely breathing and bleeding and impaled.

"I'll talk to him." Bobby decided, feeling both uneasy and strained. He couldn't blame Buck for not wanting to leave Tommy's side.

But the kid had to take care of himself for Tommy's sake.

"I'll go with you Cap." Eddie nodded to Hen and Chim, a silent conversation going on between the three of them that Bobby wasn't privy to and was unsure if he wanted to know.

Bobby didn't know what to expect. He didn't think seeing Tommy hooked up to so many machines, his face littered with stitches and bruises, and his chest and arm wrapped in badges would break his heart like this.

Buck was pulled right up against Tommy's bed, back turned to the door and hunched over. Bobby could see that Buck was holding Tommy's hand in both of his, his eyes wet and face red. Still in his uniform and looking as disheveled as he did when they got to the hospital.

"Buck?"

Buck jumped in his seat, turning but not getting up- he still had one hand still holding Tommy's, he wiped his nose with the other as he sniffed. "Cap." He sounded so horse that Bobby winced. Before Bobby could say a word, Buck beat him to it.

"You're not gonna convince me to leave, so don't bother." He warned gruffly, wiping away some tears before turning back to Tommy.

"Buck, c'mon man, you can't-" Eddie had stated to say but Bobby rested a hand on his shoulder, a silent plea to stop.

Bobby stepped closer, "Buck, you haven't slept or eaten anything in over day, and you were already coming off a 48-hour shift when we got the call."

"So."

Bobby inhaled deeply, not missing how Buck held onto Tommy's hand tighter, his lips pressed right against Tommy's skin.

"So, you need to rest, maybe eat or at the very least shower." Bobby eyed what he hoped wasn't dirt and dried blood that looked to be caked onto Buck's uniform. "Tommy is alive and he's going to need you to be ready to take care of him when he wakes up, so you need to get ready."

Buck sniffed, his voice hollow and broken as he told Bobby, "I can't leave him Cap."

Bobby squeezed Buck's shoulder, "I know, but he would want you to be okay too." Bobby knew that to be true, Tommy would have wanted Buck to have at least shower and eat.

He knew how protective and doting the two were with each other.

"I'll be fine." Buck insisted, tears cascading down his face, "He needs me here."

Bobby pressed his lips tightly together; he saw Eddie look even more worried. They both knew what it felt like, to lose the love of your life. They knew how Buck would shatter if something bad happened and he couldn't be with Tommy.

It happened to them.

Bobby took a shallow breath; he knew it wasn’t going to be easy for Buck to leave without feeling guilty. "How about this, you let Eddie take you home so you can shower and nap, and I'll stay here. I won't leave his side till you return."

"Bobby-"

Bobby raised a finger at him, "Two hours. Just allow yourself two hours Buck."

Buck's voice sounded so broken as he asked, "What if he wakes up and I'm not here?"

"The moment Tommy's eyes open I'll tell him I sent you home, my orders." He saw the look of doubt on Buck's face, "Buck, Tommy knows you love him, he'll know that-"

He watched in horror as Buck crumble at that, "I never told him." Buck started to sob, alarming Bobby and Eddie now as they watched the younger man cry into his hands.

"What?"

"I never told him I love him. We never got that chance." Buck cried. "You can't ask me to leave Cap, please don't ask me to."

"Hey," Eddie's voice was soft as he patted Buck's back, "You and Tommy will get that chance Buck. He's gonna wake up and he's gonna need you and all of us, but Bobby's right- you can't keep going like this. He needs you to be okay."

Bobby kneeled down, he could see Buck's knee shaking, "Buck," he said slowly, "You have my word that the moment Tommy wakes up, I will call you. I'm not asking you to leave for the whole day, just two hours so that you can come back here with a clear head. Tommy's cousin is on his way here, he's gonna need your support as much as you're gonna need his. For Tommy's sake, kid, you need to be okay."

Buck looked like he was close to throwing up as he stood up, wobbling and barely getting caught by Bobby and Eddie in time. "O-Okay." Buck's voice was barely audible, Bobby couldn't take looking at him for too long- Buck’s blue eyes were blood shot and his skin was clammy to the touch. "You promise you won't leave him?" He asked Bobby.

Bobby felt his heart crack again as he was reminded about Robert Jr- how he would make Bobby promise he would come home in time for their favorite show.

"I promise kid." Bobby watched with bated breath as Buck finally stood on his own, still shaky as he pulled Bobby in for a tight hug.

Bobby held on tighter.

"Two hours?" Buck asked them both, looking and sounding uncertain- as though it was a trap.

"Two hours." Eddie promised, already leading Buck to the door since he was still unsteady. "I'll even warn you when the two hours is almost up, okay?"

That had Buck look mildly appeased, "Okay." He said roughly, wiping away more tears and snot. He was barely out the door when he turned around and leaned over Tommy, kissing him on his forehead and whispering something to him that neither Bobby or Eddie could hear.

Bobby sighed as he looked down as his former firefighter, taking a seat where Buck had been.

"Hey Tommy." Bobby took Tommy's hand in his, "You scared us out there, we thought we were going to lose you." Bobby had watched how terrified Hen and Chim were when they realized Tommy might have suffered spinal damage from the impact of the crash. How they hurried to stop the bleeding from Tommy's mouth and stomach where the branch had impaled him. "I need you to fight to come back to us, Tommy. You can't leave us yet. You can't leave Buck; I don't think he'll ever be okay if he loses you to tell you the truth. That kid has been looking for his other half for as long as he's been looking for a family. He has us and he needs you, we all do." He brushed away Tommy's curls from his forehead, "You have a family with us too, we need you. Not because you’re Buck's boyfriend, we just need you kid." He sighed, regretting the times in where didn't push for Tommy to open up to him.

He was just as guarded as Bobby was back then when they were both at the 118. But Bobby could see it, there was a level of uncertainness that Tommy had carried on his shoulder when he was with the 118. He figured it was guilt and something else, something that made Tommy seem closed off even when he was trying to relax during team dinners.

"Listen," Bobby pulled out his rosary and miniature Bible, "I know you don't consider yourself Catholic anymore, but praying is what I do for my family." He leaned back in the chair and started to pray.

#bucktommy #bobby and buck #bobby and tommy #118 firefam #tommy and eddie #tevan #buck and eddie #i had a triggering day at work so i had to write it out #so enjoy i guess

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slashingdisneypasta · 3 months ago

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I watched Kill Bill Vol 1 and 2 last night....

All of the assassins make me feel things. But that's not the point of this ask. Idk if you've seen these movies (you really should if you haven't! They're so good! Albeit pretty gory and deal some pretty dark subjects), but Elle Driver, AKA The California Mountain Snake, in particular...

...

1. I feel like she'd be your type. She's got plenty of sneers in this movie, she's cruel and evil, had no empathy for Beatrix when they were hired to kill her (I'm trying not to give too much away! But yeah, the rivalry between Elle and the protagonist is one of the biggest things going on in these films). And, despite being in love with Bill, killed his brother in cold blood just for the fact that he killed her rival (in her words, Beatrix deserved a better ending than being killed by a "bush-whackin', scrub, alkie piece of shit" like him). And then she called up Bill and said Beatrix was the one that killed him! She's a lying, possibly manipulative, murdering psycho. Out of all the villains in this movie, I think you'd like Elle and Bill most.

2. I know you've drawn Rena, and I love how she looks!! But now, after seeing this movie, I can't get this woman as Rena out of my head XD just take the eyepatch off, give her some heart tattoos... Do you think she looks like Human Rena? (Then again with the eyepatch, she could be Fem!Kingston... Omg Fem!Kingston would make Poppy swoon I just know it XD)

If you say I'll like her, I believe you XD You know my F/O's better then anyone at this point 😂😅 XD

And she does LOOK like my type!! XD Older lady, eyepatch, kinda mischievous, SNEERS!??... uhuh XD If I watch the Kill Bill movies Cruella may have competition XD

And... yes she totally looks like a Human Rena!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've only ever drawn her young but this could absolutely be her older XD

Thank you so much for thinking of me!! This put a huge smile on my face every time I read it!

#i actually am intrigued by kill bill XD #especially o-ren ishii!#but also... i wanna see if quentin tarantino really put a rarin'-to-fuck buck reference in there 😅😂 XD i've seen it in the imdb page #and flipping through one of his books XD #love how tarentino knows re from eaten alive out of anything XD #its not 'hey look freddy's on tv again!' its 'oh shit buck's killing people now'

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the-leech-lord · 1 year ago

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🐊Buck from Eaten Alive Stimboard🐊

💚💚💚|💚💚💚|💚💚💚

#stimboard #stimboards #eaten alive 1976 #eaten alive buck #eaten alive #buck #robert englund #crocodile stim #pool stim #billards stim #hat stim #cowboy hat stim #belt stim #green stim

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emolionsrawr · 5 months ago

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hen: you know what tommy, you're taking this dinner with bobby and athena tonight really easy

tommy: what do you mean?

hen: what? wait did no one tell you?

tommy: tell me what

hen: oh they're gonna eat you alive

eddie: rest in peace man

tommy: what do you mean?! it's just dinner?!

chimney: who's gonna be there?

tommy: bobby and athena, as well as may, harry and micheal, and i think david's gonna be there too, why?

hen: tommy, it's FAMILY dinner

tommy: yes?

chimney: bobby and athena have basically adopted buck at this point

tommy: and- oh no

hen: yeah

tommy: oh no, i defiled the captains baby, i defiled sargent grants baby

buck: it's gonna be okay baby, they like you!

tommy: i'm gonna be eaten alive! evan how could you not tell me we're having dinner with your parents?!

buck: you'll be fine! just be yourself!

#911 abc #911 evan buckley #911 buck #911 show #911 incorrect quotes #911 spoilers #911 tommy kinard #tommy kinard #911 tommy #bi buck is real #911 howard han #911 howard chimney han #911 eddie diaz #eddie diaz #911 henretta wilson #911 hen wilson #henretta wilson

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bandgie · 4 months ago

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Heaven on Earth | Armageddon Event

Request: Diligence | Song Mingi (ATEEZ) by @desirehorizon song!

warnings: MDNI18+, fem!reader, pussy eating, tongue fucking, cum eating, brief overstim (f!), apocalyptic au

1k words

How the two of you managed to stay alive was beyond you. It must have been pure luck, but judging from the waves of demons and death, perhaps it was something more Divine. Either way, you’re alive. Happily alive, now that you and Mingi finally have a place to crash for hopefully a week. You planned on catching your breath, stocking up on supplies, and finally getting some decent shut-eye. That’s what was agreed on, at least, but your princess always has different plans.

The bed’s a little dusty and makes your nose tickle, but that doesn’t stop Mingi from laying you on it the moment you stumble upon the abandoned house.

You clamp your hand over your mouth. You can’t risk any noise. Not a sound can slip from your swollen lips while Mingi - who cares very little about his volume - drags his tongue across your clit. With your other hand tangled in his hair, you tug until he gets the message and grinds his face up and down.

“Fuck,” it’s barely above a whisper. “Hurry up.”

Mingi’s blissful face turns annoyed. His eyebrows furrow and he looks up at you in near irritation. He pulls from your cunt with a pop, “Hurry up? I haven’t eaten this in weeks and you want me to hurry up?” The cold air on your lips makes you whine softly. You’re bucking your hips in a desperate attempt to catch his hot mouth once again. Instead, Mingi grabs your waist and pins it on the bed.

He dips his head low, lips ghosting your lower ones over and over until you shake and whine again. He blinks at you, “I think I’ll take my time. Make sure you cum nice and good on my tongue. Thank you very much.”

You would have groaned at his stubbornness, but the sound turns into a moan at the feel of his hot breath.

Mingi plants a gentle kiss on your cunt before letting his tongue stick out again. This time, you’re unable to grind against his face now that he’s got you glued to the mattress. It feels like torture, not being able to do anything outside of yanking his hair and muffling your growing mewls

Mercifully, Mingi lets you press his head deep into your cunt. So deep that his nose presses against your clit while his tongue flicks against your entrance. The slurp sounds he emits from your cunt are sinful, and distantly, you think he might be the reason neither of you were raptured. You aren’t able to dwell on it too long when Mingi breaks through your walls, his wet muscle colliding with your wet walls.

The hold you ceases, hands opting to go under your ass so Mingi can angle your hips until his tongue can thrust in and out of you easily. You find it beneficial to spread your thighs and bend your legs at the knees rather than hump his face. His nose is keeping that pressure on your clit, growing slick until it mixes with your arousal on his lips to the drool seeping off his chin. You might be squealing a little too loud for your liking but, shit, at least he’s staying true to his word.

Mingi buries his tongue as deep as it can go between your velvet walls before he uses his entire face to move back and forth. The tip of his nose bumps your clit every time he thrusts forward, his tongue tense to slip into you effortlessly. His neck must be cramping, but Mingi diligently keeps a steady pace until he feels you spasm.

Saliva has begun to seep through your fingers and you don’t notice until you feel the substance slide down your cheek. You help Mingi keep his constant speed by keeping your grip on his hair. “Mmm,” you swallow your spit and moans. “I’m so close.”

Something animalistic groans in Mingi’s chest. He’s been waiting, praying for the time he’d get to taste you again. All this survival and running away isn’t really his thing. He might’ve rotted away in his room until time or a demon took him, but being away from you would have been worse than death.

Wordlessly, Mingi praises you with a squeeze to your ass. Your hips find the momentum to bounce back to his tongue thrusts, keeping a steady grip on him so he doesn’t move from that delightful spot he’s found.

He’s persistent. Even his jaw and neck aching he’s determined to taste you in your wholeness. Your walls tighten around his tongue and Mingi knows to keep still while you build your orgasm. He realizes he’s nothing but a means to make you finish when your clit twitches on his nose.

Mingi moans when you flood his mouth. The thick consistency of your cum taints his tongue, coating it with the tang he’s been desperately working for. Your pussy convulses, uncontrollable moans tumble from your spit-covered lips. The grip on Mingi’s hair loosens and he takes a deep breath from suffocating for so long. You would have felt bad, but you’re too busy experiencing raw pleasure you haven’t felt in so long.

Once your body relaxes, Mingi pulls his cream-coated tongue out to swipe along your clit. He spreads the arousal so your pussy dreaches in your juices again. He hums as he takes your swollen bud in his mouth. His cheeks hollow as he sucks and he opens his tongue again to lavish on your clit before you snap your legs shut on his head.

“Wait! Wait, wait, wait.” You move your hand from your mouth to hold Mingi in your palms. “I need a breather.”

But your squished lover only laughs. Even in such a dystopian world, you act as though you have all the time in the world.

He smiles endearingly at you, the tooth that’s just slightly longer than all the others poking through. “Now you want me to wait?” He playfully tuts at you, pulling from your hands to dip his head back down to place a chaste kiss on your wet lips. “They don’t got this in heaven, you know?”

#armageddon event!#smut #ateez smut #smut ateez #smut atz #atz #mingi #song mingi #ateez mingi #mingi smut #mingi x reader #ateez song mingi #atz mingi

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georgiapeach30513 · 5 months ago

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Your Mark on Me, Part 16

Summary: will your marks ever be enough?

Pairings: Steve Rogers X Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content, scratching, blood, minor blood kink, slapping, mentions of abuse from Peggy, sex in front of someone, PIV sex, unprotected sex, mild breeding kink, creampie, mentions of reader's IUD removal, arrest, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 5.6K

Series Masterlist

“Woah, woah,” Bucky says, jumping in front of Steve. His hands press into his friend's chest as he shakes his head. Using force to push him back. Not able to say in words just what Steve needs to realize, “You can’t just barge in there.”

“The fuck I can’t. Move. Immediately. I need to see her,” Bucky shakes his head. His normally bright eyes are worn. Exhausted to a point of unrecognizing. “Please?” Steve softly begs. “I need to know she’s okay.”

“She’s not,” Bucky responds. The heavy weight of needing to tell Steve that you aren’t okay finally getting lighter as he says two words. “She’s alive, but she’s not okay.”

Bucky’s hands fall to his side, while Steve’s mouth falls open. His mental exhaustion starting to catch up with him. “I don’t know what that means, Buck.”

“Bruce checked her vitals. She’s stable, but mentally, and physically worn. She survived, which is the best possible scenario. We got her out, and she’s here.”

Steve gulps, his eyes looking around at all the closed doors. He knows that he’s going to get one chance to bolt to your room. If he goes to the wrong one, someone will stop him from going into another room using brute force. He has one chance. “What does that mean?”

“She’s a survivor,” he answers softly. Proud of you for remaining resilient and strong.

“Did — did, my god,” his voice cracks as he shakes his head. “Did someone touch her?”

“Yeah, but she isn’t talking to tell us who or what they did, but — you can see she’s been beaten,” Steve swallows bile, his eyes don’t return to Bucky. One shot. One moment to get this right. They wouldn’t put you in the front of the house, or in the back, you’d be too close to an entrance. They’d put you on the level floor, close to where food was, and you wouldn’t have to walk far. They’d make sure you have your own bathroom.

“Steve,” Bucky says, but doesn’t attempt to grab at his friend as he rushes past him. Bucky knows if anyone tried to keep him away from his Shy Violet he would bully past them. Bucky stands frozen while Steve dashes to the room he thinks is yours, and slings the door open.

Sighing, smiling, crying when he sees your sleeping form curled into a ball on the bed. You look so tiny, and infant-like. Your body seizes and twitches around, and you hold your legs to your chest tighter, and Natasha turns to watch Steve.

“She hasn’t eaten much, but Bruce gave her some medicine that would take away the pain, and help her sleep,” he takes slow calculated steps towards your bed. Hearing words coming out of Nat’s mouth, but not understanding anything. “She’s got her open wounds cleaned. Steve don’t.”

He lifts the blanket off your body, wincing when he sees the bruising and rope burns. Steve slowly lets the blanket fall before leaning over and kissing your forehead. Falling to his knees beside you, he leans onto your mattress. Just staring. Watching you sleep even if it’s not peaceful.

He’d been an idiot, and it cost you so much pain. The marks on your body is the pain that he can see was inflicted on you, but what’s worse is knowing the hurt he caused. All of this could have been avoided had he just held you close. Hidden you, Bucky, and Shy, but he was an idiot. He’s the reason that you are not only feeling all this suffering and turmoil, but he’s also the reason you seem so defeated.

It has been too long since he last saw you, and all he wants to do is gather you in his arms, and hold you until you can’t feel any bad things ever again. He makes a silent vow that you’ll never feel this again. Especially feel pain that’s connected to him in any way.

“Steve,” Nat says softly, but he waves a hand towards the door. Nobody could make him leave your side ever again. You and him would have a ribbon sewn onto each other. Have you wound so tightly close to him that people won’t know if it’s a leash for you or for him. Tethered together for all eternity. “She’s not the girl you left behind.”

“I wouldn’t expect her to be,” Nat cringes as she watches her friend. He’s so tormented imagining the things that they did to you. How they could have altered your way of living because he was a fucking idiot. “I failed the one person that I actually lo…”

“Steve?” He leans in closer to the bed, while your eyes try to focus on the man in front of you. Your breathing is erratic and wild, nose flaring as you see him. You thought you’d see him sooner, but he comes in at the last goddamn second, while you’re now a broken shell of the woman he met all those months ago.

“Steve Rogers?” You have to be sure because of what you have pumping through your veins. A rage that is so deep that you are equal to his darkness now. A blackness that has tainted your soul, and you’re not sure you can ever be brought back to the light.

“Yeah, Dovey, it’s me,” it all happens so fast. Sitting up just enough to have your weight balanced, so you can reach out in front of you. Curling your fingers slightly so you can claw down his face, desiring nothing more than to hear him scream in agony. Instead he inhales deeply, biting his tongue as he takes the assault.

You grit your teeth as you watch the mark on his face darken as beads of his blood pool to the surface. Hating yourself for finding even his flaws beautiful, and hating him all the same. There’s not much of a difference between love and hate. The sentiments are wrought with so much passion, and the blinding rage you feel is too similar to the pure love you once felt.

“Scream!” You sit up in bed, and Steve gets a front row seat of every scrape, cut, bruise, burn, and whatever torture Peggy enjoyed. Glancing so quickly over your body, but keeps his gaze on you. You hate that you saw his small reaction to your battered body, “Curse me! Hit me! Just hate me! Hate! Me!”

“I would never,” his voice is so calm and soft it makes the absolute anger simmer inside of you. Bubbling to the surface until you try and push him away. Hitting on his arms over and over again because you’re so angry. You're angry that the vile woman had you tied up like livestock and you couldn’t fight back. You let Steve feel just how much with every blow, and still he doesn’t move.

He absorbs every harsh hit to his body, before you stop. Resting your head on his shoulder, “I can never hate you.”

“But you said,” tears well in your eyes as those disgusting images of him leaving you rush through your mind. “Y-y-you pulled out, and took yourself away from me! You k-knew what coming inside of me meant! And you treated me like — like a fucking whore! Fuck you, Steve Rogers!”

“Dovey.”

You flinch away from him, but the same power in your eyes is gone. The fury is replaced with sorrow. Your words are more defeated, showing just how exhausted you are, “Don’t you fucking dare! You have no idea,” the images of how tender and caring he was play through your mind. The weight of your arms over your head, and just how sore you are. How vulnerable and weak you felt being in their presence and all you wanted was for him to use his stupid thick arms to wrap around you, and hold you tight. Telling you it was okay and this was all a dream. But you still feel them on every blemish on your skin.

“They marked me,” your voice cracks, and you curl into yourself. Unsure if someone laying their hands on you and marking you in some way is what bothers yo because that was Steve’s privilege, or if you’re reeling with the abuse they dealt you. It’s all so confusing and going through waves in your mind. Everything that has happened plays over and over. Steve slowly starts to move to the bed, and you're so done with fighting and hurting, you don’t object. He grabs at your body, pulling you into his lap, and relaxes his chin on your head, and you retch. “I see them all over me.”

“I don’t,” he’s such a fucking liar. All he does is lie. Everything he’s ever told you was false. “All I see is the most beautiful, strongest, brave, amazing woman I’ve ever met. And,” he takes a deep breath, and presses his entire hand on your neck. Using his body heat to warm up the only mark he cares about. “Dove.”

“Don’t call me that,” he holds you even tighter, realizing that you’re not going to reject him just yet. You need to feel anything but the pain they made you endure. Their pain was to torture you, while his pain was to claim you. Vastly different, and still your mind blurs the two together.

“That’s what I always call you.”

“I prefer Dovey,” his chin resting on your head is replaced with his mouth. He presses his lips against you, and holds it there. He had been so stupid. He didn’t deserve any form of forgiveness from you, but he was going to take every bit that you gave him. “I’m so tired.”

“Sleep. I won’t be leaving you. You’ll always be right by my side. I’ll never leave you again.”

“What if I asked you to,” he nuzzles his face against your head, and you wish it was that simple. They used his love for you as a weapon. The love you felt for him was bastardized as they made fun of the desperate little bird in love with Steve who he could never love back because he will always be in love with the devil. “What if I told you I never wanted to see you again.”

“I can’t do that, Dovey. Being away from you for a few weeks was torture. My blood sizzled with so much hatred towards the people that took you. I was on my way back to you, but I was too late. But I can’t walk away from you ever again.”

“Why?” For one word it packs on so many questions and convictions. Why was he so sure he couldn’t stay away from you? Why did he feel the need to leave you then, but now that he was without you there’s a difference? Why should you believe anything he says when he can change his mind so carelessly, leaving you vulnerable to vultures.

“Why?” You ask him again, sitting up from his embrace, but remain in his lap. Your bloodshot eyes and tear stained face look at him with so much confusion. How could he possibly ever feel the things that you felt? Things shouldn’t be this hard, and feel so raw. That’s all it’s ever been with Steve, transactional to a degree, but you were the one always paying him, and he took savagely and selfishly. “Why, Steve?”

“Because I love you,” you slap him hard across the face, watching his blood smear across his skin. A weird desire to lick it off of him, telling him that every drop of blood and inch of him belongs to you. Asshole. “I do, Dovey. I love you. And I feel like a coward that it took losing you in the most horrific way to realize it. To understand that my actions are only about how you are the only thing that matters to me. If you say the words, I’ll throw it all away just for you. Because you’re all I need in this world.”

All these words don’t even compare to the actions that he has done that led you to know how much he loves you. But the way that they hit you has a knot rise in your throat, stopping your ability to say anything. You just stare at his stupid handsome face streaked in blood and reddened from your slap. Hearing the words for the first time in person is a punch in the gut. You never thought three words would sound so beautiful.

“I know it doesn’t mean much right now. I failed you, Dovey. The one thing I swore I would never do. I let influences control my mind when it should have been you controlling it. I didn’t see reality because I thought I was protecting you, and instead I allowed my nightmare to come true. I’m sorry, Dovey.”

Words still never break past your lips, but you know Steve isn’t lying. You know that man isn’t telling you what you want to hear because you spent over a year trying to get him to admit his feelings. It’s the timing and the conviction that has rendered you speechless.

“I’ll spend the rest of my life telling you how much I love you and trying to make up for the things that I did. You say the word and I’ll do it. Whatever you want.”

“If I asked you to cut your hand off?”

“Which one?” Prick. You wouldn’t let him actually do that, it’s just silly. “I’m not asking to hear it back from you. It’s my turn to understand what it feels like not to hear it. But I do, I love you.”

“I don’t love you anymore, Steve,” his mouth turns up in a grin as he nods his head. Pulling you in close to him as he holds you once more. “I heard you tell me you loved me while I slept. Saw that video so many times while I was there. Had Loki taunting me. He told me that you said pretty words to make my legs spread. Funny thing though, you were nothing but a monster, and I still spread my legs for you. I ran, and you chased. I pushed you away, and you pulled me closer. Since I walked into the club, you’ve never let me live my life. I didn’t want you then, and I still don’t want you now.”

“Okay, Dovey,” he didn’t realize how the sting of your words could cut so deeply. Hitting him right to his soul, even if he didn’t believe them. For someone so beautiful, you knew what to say to make it feel worse than scorching metal on his skin. He wonders if you felt this bad while he avoided saying three words to you, he’ll start every conversation with ‘I love you’, just so you don’t forget. “I understand.”

“But,” he feels the tiniest glimmer of hope. There’s a bit of the same lightness in your voice as there was before. A bit of that cheeky tone that you used to use. Like you came back if only for one syllable. “I need you.”

You feel the gulp that he swallows right down to your core. You don’t want it, but it’s enlightening to know that part isn’t broken. You wrestle with wishing that it was broken and wondering how you ask Steve to fuck you like he hated you. Give you something that is vastly different than what you had to watch on a never ending loop. Show his passion with furiously stabbing into you, and overstimulating you, degrading you. Hate and love are powered by the same deep settled desire. And you wanted to feel both emotions with every thrust.

“But I can never love you ever again.”

“That’s fair,” he solemnly says. His fingers dig into your skin with how tightly he holds onto you. “As long as you let me keep you right by my side forever,” it is a fair trade. He’ll have to accept that you just need him. It’s all you have to offer him. It’s all that remains with your hope. Your need for him. Everything else was ripped out of you.

“What did you do to the bitch?” You look up at him with a teasing smile that is borderline demonic. You want to hear every gory detail of how he pulled her apart limb by limb. “She was the worst one. Everything she did to me was personal.”

“I know,” he pauses long enough for you to turn in his lap. Sitting face to face with him, while your legs wrap around his waist. “It’s the reason why I have Sam and Clint guarding her. After I got to her, she was forcefully and painfully tied up and brought to the club basement. She’s awaiting your punishment. While I have some colorful ways to dispose of her, I think the decision should lie with you. It’ll be the first step of my apology.”

“You — you want me to punish her?”

“If you choose. Torture her, make it quick, talk to her, whatever your mind can come up with,” oh. Oh! She broke the sane part of you, now what remains is a hellcat that wants her to suffer. All you can think about are delicious ways that you can serve her a better dish that she served you. And there was one thing that she used as a weapon, and you are going to take it back. Put the gun back in his holster. And she was going to watch every agonizing second of it.

“Looks like the brat has returned,” her voice gives you a second of pause until Steve squeezes your hand. His crystal blue eyes stay locked on you, and you can’t turn away from Peggy. “He couldn’t even finish the job. You know why?”

Steve’s throat rumbles with a growl, and it’s you that squeezes his hand. Giving him the same comfort he just gave you. She doesn’t scare you anymore. Turning to look at him with a smile. “Why don’t you sit in the chair, Captain,” you give him a wink. Cupping his cock, and wiggling you fingers at his balls. Making sure to move over his package, starting to claim him in front of her, “Lose the shirt,” he doesn’t hesitate to remove the shirt, and you watch his inky back as he glides over to a chair.

Waiting for him to sit down, and spread his legs wide. His own hand fondles himself as he smiles at you. He’s such a devil. He knew exactly what it was you’re wanting. You want this mark to be one that Peggy sees first hand. A front row seat to the most beautiful and magical moment, and she couldn’t say anything.

“What happened to your pretty face, Steve? You always said that you didn’t want your face marred with ink,” a low chuckle releases from your lips as you walk behind Steve. You told him those three marks you left on his face, running from above his brow, slashed through his lip, were sexy. They were yours in the heat of the moment. Even in anger, you still need Steve. While your body healed, Steve scarred.

He loved pain, and a pain that showed how irrecoverably he belonged to you was so much sweeter. He continued to pick at the cuts, and made them a bit deeper, a crude reminder of how vicious you can be. Making them scar, staining his face in a beautifully macabre way. “Oh, I did that to him.”

“Let me guess, you got a backhand for that?”

“I got cradled, and held against his chest while he kissed the top of my head,” her head twists towards Steve, and he confirms your words with a nod. Steve would never hurt you to put you in your place. He deserved the anger you felt towards him.

“Whatever makes you feel better, princess.”

“Have they been treating you nice? Told you what happened to your organization?”

“Drugs and pussy?”

“Mmm,” you wish she could see the malice that was zigzagging in your eyes. The way your body was buzzing like it was on drugs with anticipation. She had no idea what was coming for her.

“Sluts and drugs will always be in business. You destroy one, another will pop up.”

“What about what you were doing to me? Do you make auctions like that a normal occurrence?” She smiles at you, but refuses to answer. “I’m sure you pick a ‘prime slab of meat’ to sell to your wealthiest clients. Telling them what they want to hear because you are the police. You control where they go. And the underground system to keep your clients away?”

“Honey, if you only knew the politicians and people in power that love to come suck from my teat for women they can use. They all buy you whores. Ask Lark. She was a fun one. Nothing was off the table for her. You see she’s the worst kind of addict. The one that wants her fix so bad, she’s willing to be filmed and fucked stupid by the AD and judge at the same time. I’m sure pretty boy, Steve destroyed all the videos of evidence. Good for him, he’s always looking out for me.”

“Dovey,” god, he’s so good. You turn to look at him, needing his strength because this is harder than you could have ever imagined. She is a vile human, and you wanted her to pay in the worst possible way. “I love you, baby. I love you so much that it hurts. I’m so fucking in love with you. I can’t wait to marry you and fill you with my babies.”

“I need that,” you hear her tongue clicking as you walk towards him, “Almost as much as I need you,” you straddle his legs, letting your dress ride up your thighs, leaning into him, and kiss over the branding scar, “Do you need more?”

“Names,” he whispers into your ear. It’s exhausting trying to pry the right information out of her. Your hands rub up and down his blackened skin. Lips kissing over his body as you start to grind over him. Loving the feeling of your body being able to still have that effect on him.

“Sloppy little whore. Too bad. I had you primed and ready for secretary Ross to purchase you. Did you see me in the audience? Steve, do you realize what kind of slut you have grinding on you? You and I could be rich, baby. There were more that were willing to pay millions. Does Stark ring a bell?” Steve grips tight to your ass, holding you in place as you turn to look at her. “Howard Stark. The deal was for you to be passed from Ross to Stark. Ross was going to rent you out.”

“You’re lying,” this changes everything. You have to watch Steve’s small movements to know if you’re doing the right thing or not. This could go wrong so fast, and you just wanted her to see how much Steve loved you. If she wanted to perverse his affection for you, so could you.

“Suit yourself. Go ahead and kill me,” Steve starts to maneuver you over his lap, and you forget about her. Just look at him, and nod. You were ready. He had what he needs. More information and names.

“This is new, Dove, what’s your word?”

“Ink,” you whisper, lifting off him enough, so he can free his member. Clarence springs free of his confines, and you stroke his veiny cock a few times. Your fingers are barely able to circle around him. Rubbing his spongy head through your slick, you sigh as you sink over him.

Throwing your head back, you mewl out his name when he’s fully sheathed. Reaching up to your straps, so you can pull your top down, letting Steve almost fully see you. You commit the feeling of him splitting you open to memory. Relishing the slight sting, and it all goes to prove how very right, if not slightly painful you are for him. Your body always accommodates his size.

“Are you seriously fucking her in front of me?”

Lifting yourself up off him, you slam yourself back down. Setting a slow and hard rhythm while his hands on your ass cause your skirt to rise higher and higher until all Peggy can see is your walls clinging to Steve. Hugging onto his steel rod as you let him impale you. Picking up your neediness and pace, you go harder. Harder. Harder until you’re panting. Yipping every time he crashes into you.

“Dove.”

“Harder,” you grunt. His hands hold tightly to your body as he tries to calm your movements. “Fuck me like you own me. Like you paid to destroy me for every man. Ruin me.”

“Sick fucks,” her voice setting off his anger. He picks you up off him, and spins you around to where you're on your knees facing her. Kneeling behind you, he pounds into your warmth so hard you see stars. Screaming out his name, you disappear into his harsh pleasure.

Just feeling every inch of him, and despite how hard he thrusts into you, his hands are soft. Coaxing you through each snap. Your legs quiver as your body succumbs to his ministrations. Trying to find something to grip onto to ground you, but you slip further into sin. Just where you belong.

Still shoving into your wet heat, he lifts your back up to his front. Cupping your tits, while giving each peak a pinch. His mouth bites along your neck. “You’re so perfect for me, Dovey. No pussy has ever felt better than yours. I have never allowed anyone to claim every part of me. My mind, body, and soul are yours to own. And I will claim you over and over again, until you love me again. People tried to rip you from me, and me from you, and here we are. I love you, my sweet Dovey. And I will destroy you every night. I will degrade you, because you’re my fucking slut. My whore to use and own. My filthy girl that I love with every fiber of my being. And you are the only one who will ever own all of me.”

A gurgled scream of pleasure rips through your chest as your entire body heats up. You have waited so long for him to hear exactly all that he’s saying. You absorb him. Hold it tight to your heart, so maybe it can thaw the ice that has frozen around your heart. Little by little his love and warmth were chipping it away. Melting the remains.

You want to love him as fiercely as you did before, and you would. Eventually. “Come on my big fat cock.”

“Come on Clarence,” he sees the slight grin on your face, knowing you were becoming his sweet girl again. “Steve, fuck me so hard and deep. Come inside of me. I want to feel you in my belly. I want…”

“Don’t you fucking dare! Steve!”

“I need to feel you inside of me. Do it,” he takes a deep breath before he bites down on your neck, and your body trembles as the euphoria overtakes your body. Beautiful rounds of sparks light up your body. Your walls clamp down on his cock, and his cock pulses thick, warm, creamy cum straight into your belly. Letting your body milk every drop for itself as the two of you fuse together.

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Am I?” He asks, starting to kiss over his teeth marks. “Or was Loki for putting his hand where it didn’t belong and ripping her IUD out? She was checked out, and you better be glad you didn’t damage anything you worthless cunt.”

Steve lets his softening cock drift out of you before he pulls up his pants. He pushes his fingers into your used pussy before he picks you up. Letting you koala around his body as he walks over to Peggy. Giving her a smile before cramming his fingers into her mouth while she wriggles around, trying not to taste the two of your releases. He wants her to savor the two of you becoming one, something she never got.

“I know what you did to her. She doesn’t keep secrets from me. I know she’s unprotected right now, and we’re both willing to take that risk. I know how you tried to beat her down because you’re an insecure little bitch. You thought you had my love, but it’s not even one ounce of what I feel for Dove. Have a nice life.”

“You’re not going to kill me this time?”

“No. Sam and Bucky went through your house, and found everything we needed. Oh, you sure did like running that cock sucking mouth of yours. I can’t wait for all these politicians to realize how you sold them out. There should be a team of police with a warrant to legally obtain the evidence from your house, you know, legalities. All those whores you used to keep doped up, and sent off to prison when you were done with them, I hope you enjoy their company. Fuck you for trying to take what belongs to me, you piece of shit,” his foot presses against her chair as he pushes her back away from him.

Her chair makes a loud screeching sound, and he smiles at his cum drying around her lips. Holding onto you tighter as doors burst open, “Peggy Carter, you’re under arrest,” a voice screams, and you snuggle in tighter. Blocking out all the screaming.

“Sorry, you had to hear that, Tony.”

“Nothing I didn’t suspect. Thanks for getting us what we needed,” Steve gives the man a solid nod before he walks you away from the chaos, not stopping as he leads you completely out of the basement.

“Let’s go home, Dovey.”

“Steve?” He places you into the passenger seat of his car, reaching over you to buckle you in before he pulls out a package. Smiling at you, while you take it from his hand, “You won’t be mad at me if I take this?” he shakes his head no, while you take the small pill out of the package. “Do you want to talk about an appropriate contraceptive for us? Because I prefer when you come inside of me.”

“Do you not want an IUD anymore?” You shake your head no, grabbing a drink from the water bottle in your cup holder. “Dovey, you can use whatever makes you feel comfortable. I’m not going anywhere. I know you will let me know when you’re ready for a baby. You still want kids?”

“Are you still ending this within a year?” A nod has never meant so much to you. He vowed that this life was over for him. He didn’t want the risks that came with it, especially with children involved. “Then, yes, I still want babies with you. Until then can we go snuggle with Ember?”

“Yes, because enticing you with a little bitty baby boy is what I aim to do. Make you desire to have a baby sooner rather than later,” you weren’t unaware that’s what you were doing every time you begged to see Bucky and Shy.

“We have to wait at least a year, okay?”

“Okay,” he agrees, and you lean over to him, kissing on his mark of your lips. Pecking on the skin over and over again, “You keep doing that, and you’ll have to suck my cock until we get to Bucky and Shy’s.”

“You know I will.”

“I know. It’s because you love me,” he looks over at you, smiling so wide. He’s so much more beautiful when he’s happy.

“I do love spending time with you. And I love that you are patient with me. And you love that I am getting there.”

How things have changed. Now it is Steve that’s having to just know that you do love him. You can’t say it yet. But one day you’ll be able to say it again. You’re only slightly trying to make him suffer for making you wait. But it’s more than that. It’s having to watch the way he loved you in the way he moved, and the way he felt you. It’s having to see how much he cared while other people laughed at his stupidity. It’s hearing him say those stupid words for the first time while you slept. That’s why it’s this is difficult. He felt it, he said it, he just couldn’t tell you.

Despite the struggles you’re facing, he’s remained consistent. Wearing every mark you have inflicted on him like a badge of honor. But in so many ways those marks were earned. The first day that you let him inside of you. The new ones on his face being the day that you broke down. Screaming how much you hated him, while he let you deal with your emotions through anger.

Now over his heart is a cage with its door open. He let you go enough, fly out on your own, to know you would come back. He doesn’t keep you locked away in your cage, but instead has made you his equal. His only thing that keeps him alive and sane. Somehow some stupid naive girl found a way to tame the beast. And to mark him, claiming her territory. And for you he will always be.

Yours.

Always yours.

Embedded in your skin, while you linger all over his.

The End, Friend

Masterlist

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