#Bts and ikea

[satuurnus]

I need a new keyboard ⌨️

[someonelookingpretty]

I really don't even know how to justify myself with this one....

Soooo, last time I was at Ikea, I found THIS art print, and it just reminded me so much of the "Solid" version of Jungkook's album, that I spent an entire £7, and bought it to compare.

And they really were a perfect set! Which prompted me to create these (thankfully fake) canvas wall art prints, based on the BTS solo albums, and inspired by every "Live Laugh Love" variation you've ever hated.

You're welcome.

It's truly tragic how well most of these albums lend themselves to these kitschy word art posters. But it's even more tragic that Suga's faux-recipe kitchen art is actually my favourite. Horrific.

[can-they-assemble-ikea-furniture]

Assume they have access to ikea furniture

[ex-silent-reader]

This story is so so cute 🥺 I just love that it displays that even the healthiest relationships take work and they're just such an easy to root for couple.

The IKEA Test (M) | KSJ

pairing: seokjin x reader

genre: established relationship au || smut, fluff

word count: 9.1k

summary: One review on IKEA’s website called the BRIMNES bed frame the leading cause of divorce due to its difficult assembly. You and Seokjin had laughed when you read it. Now, you weren’t so sure.

warnings: dom!seokjin, sub!reader, sir kink, use of slut/whore, dirty talk, spanking, but spanking with a belt 😳, impact play, oral (f receiving), orgasm control, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, fingering, unprotected sex, hair pulling, IKEA-induced frustration, non-sexual talk of pegs and holes, seokjin ultimately being Best Boyfriend Material™

notes: inspired by how I’ve never felt more grateful to be single than when I had to assemble some IKEA furniture. I promise I’m not getting commission from IKEA for product placement.

When you had told Hoseok that you wouldn’t be able to hang out this weekend because you and Seokjin had plans to assemble your new bed frame, he had laughed at you and said that it was nice to have known the pair of you as a couple. 

You had taken his joke in stride and laughed with him, knowing that for any couple to truly go the distance, they would need to pass the IKEA test: make it through an IKEA store and assemble an IKEA product without breaking up.

You and Seokjin had passed the first part of the IKEA test with flying colors. You both had easily agreed to purchase the BRIMNES storage bed, liking how the drawers underneath the bed would help you maximize the space in your bedroom. Although, your easy decision might have more to do with the fact that you had simply ordered your bed frame online rather than spending a whole afternoon in IKEA. 

All that was left was for you to actually assemble the bed frame. Surely the two of you could do that. 

Or so you had thought.

Keep reading

[gothsuguru]

going desk shopping next week… i’m SO excited :3

[hiddenbarinapocketdimension]

BTS pics and suddenly inspiration struck but I only had a single shitty ikea pencil

[Reblogs are love, so if you can spare some blog space for this humble drawing then I shall greatly appreciate it <3]

[nico-esoterica]

"Nico, I wanna be a famous artist!" (A Case Study Using Manifestation and Astrology)

Lady Gaga went from no one knowing her name in a hand-made outfit at Lollapalooza in '07 to eclipsing and redefining pop culture in '09. And later headlined Lollapalooza in 2010. She told herself, "I'm going to make a Number One Record," and "The Fame is inside of Me," over and over again. This was what meteoric 'BTS-like' success looked like for millennials (which also happened in the same amount of time).

She manifested that shit like a motherfucker. She's living proof that a small indie artist who can barely move a crowd and who got INITIAL lukewarm reception after releasing her breakout album that only gained traction A YEAR LATER that YOU, IN FACT, CAN DO THIS SHIT. Gaga was performing in hole in the wall gay clubs in Europe and radios didn't care about that album until Just Dance blew up in the US. Every millennial remembers exactly where they were in life when that single became a hit song. This is also the woman who performed in an Ikea Parking Lot to promote said album.

This is a sign for all of the artists in the audience to NOT give up on your dreams. Even if things seem to be slow, delayed, or as if nothing is going on. There will always be SOMETHING behind the scenes if you commit to thinking in your favor. You're human and can have shitty days, weeks, etc, but it's important to NOT COMMIT TO BEING MISERABLE. Your engagement's gonna go up, you can find a new melody for that song, work through your writer's block and just WRITE the damn thing, and you're going to GET the right gig for you. Your dreams will be handed to you if you believe that they will. TRUST YOURSELF.

Astrologically, Gaga was in her 10H profection year when she first performed at Lollapalooza. But between 07-08+ she experienced the classic Jupiter and Saturn squares to her natal planet equivalents which occur in your early 20s that could've served as catalysts or hurdles she chose not to overcome and did the former. Contrary to what we hear about 10H profections being about finally being seen or getting promoted, etc, it's not inherently explosive. It depends on the chart and what the person does with their potential. Gaga used it as exposure and to further build her career that'd soon snowball into legendary success.

This isn't some Capitalistic tale about 'hard work paying off.' I don't believe in toil and 'hard work' in an exploitative economical sense. I believe in all-encompassing self-belief. Gaga could have easily thrown in the towel when the radios weren't gagged or the people weren't moving in the crowd. She, imo, was performing for audiences only SHE could see. Huge ones based on the scale she believed in.

Even if we could say her Mars-Neptune conjunction in Capricorn where she already had an exaltation or that her Moon-Mars or Moon-Pluto helped her, those harmonious aspects could have motivated her in the opposite direction if she wasn't seeing results. Because all of that Mars can easily wear out through exhaustion or entrap itself in the idea that it simply 'can't come easily.' Martian and Saturnian folks tend to enjoy suffering as a kink. She also could've easily been a flash-in-the-pan one hit wonder artist and faded or her era could've been very short. Maybe in hind sight it was from a musical perspective, but that 5 year run between The Fame and pre-Art Pop undeniably gave her quarter century defining success. And she'd later go on to win big accolades as a serious actress and is still going.

And speaking strictly astrologically, I see another big musical era for her coming. I saw it in Galliano's chart when his fire points got activated and will be emblazoned by Neptune in Aries transiting soon. I also see the same coming for our Mama Monster.

So, um, why are y'all giving up out there in the stands? COME GET ON STAGE AND CLAIM IT AS YOURS ALREADY.

[nayeonnyn]

woah some weekdays too?? that's awesome, definitely take advantage of that!! although i lack the plans, free weekdays give me a good feeling, haha. ouh date and shopping~ you guys should go to ikea, that's one of my favorite places to walk around.. plus their furniture setups are so cute :3

(just the meatballs definitely go for the meatballs..)

Hello Nayeon!

How are you doing?

good afternoon hobi!! doing pretty well, i’d say :D been mostly going out on weekends but the weekdays, like today, are so so boring (_ _).｡o○ how have you been ? how’s your boyfriend 👀

[sgiandubh]

An honest ask

Dear @outlander-online,

I have read the following endorsement on your page:

Would you be so kind and clarify which photos are old, according to you? The photos @brian-in-finance posted to refute me and other bloggers, or all the pictures related to these two events I did post in good faith, believing they were newly released by Getty?

Being understood that the 2019 Scottish BAFTA Gala was reflected on your site by this series of photos, NEW HQ Pics of The Cast of The Cast of Outlander at The Scottish BAFTA Awards - Outlander OnlineOutlander Online (outlander-online.com), I have to say I do not see these 4 black and white images, apparently released by Getty on January 29th:

Same goes for the last two BTS pictures in the series I posted here....

I simply do not see them in the series you posted at the time and to which the user @brian-in-finance refers to.

Perhaps they were posted elsewhere. In that case, I wouldn't know: it would take forever to do a Google Image search and the Lens option is not any better:

I simply went with what Getty was showing.

All the pictures posted by me and dealing with the 2017 Scottish BAFTA Awards, here

are on your website, at this link:

I had no intention to mislead or overlook anyone.

I do not wish to drag you into a conversation that you probably do not want or need to be a part of. I would simply very much appreciate an answer to a simple question related to the content posted on your website.

Sincerely yours,

Me

[geonppangi]

now that we know that zb1 is getting a show, here are some variety content i want to see

one thing that i don’t really love about variety shows is sometimes they designate one member as the mc/judge because they have an odd number. which is fair! but also i like seeing everyone be able to participate, so i thought it’d be fun if they compete individually or in groups of 3 and then have an expert come in to moderate. so everyone can do it and it would be more educational for everyone too lmfao

also mnet if you’re reading this, feel free to steal these ideas. i want to see these happen so badly

art episode

yes this is because i want to see ricky kill it like????

but i’m also really curious to know how good the other members are at art

maybe like a the members draw each other?? and they can pair up the members who don’t know each other that well

or they can choose what medium they want to use and do like something that represents their upcoming debut like a collage or smth like that

i love mixed media can one of them pls do it

or!!!!! they can do a design contest for the fanclub mascot and we can all vote lmao

so like bts with bt21

would also be a really cute way to introduce the name like maybe the members find out at the beginning of the episode and then based on what they drew we can try to guess what our name is

the potential is endless i’m telling you

i could see them either inviting an actual artist in to help or just straight up letting them go wild

but ricky is their expert

so i just found out after writing this whole thing that jiwoong is also good at art?? ^^his art

so if he and ricky are the new experts now

i think it’d be cool to see them collaborate on a piece and it would be very chill

while in the bg you just hear the members losing it

cooking/baking episode

similar to the cake decorating they did during the finale

i’m also thinking like seventeen’s cooking segments?

we can do teams of 3

can be same format as when they were preparing for their performances on boys planet but instead of killing part, main vocalist, etc, it can be appetizer, entree, and dessert or something like that

to make it even more interesting, they can play a game to find out what ingredients they get or the secret ingredient that they have to work with

so either like the camping cooking segment or like the show mom vs chef where they get an unpopular ingredient and have to make it appetizing

OR no teams and everyone creates their own thing

and they invite a celebrity chef to come be their judge/mc

pls i need a gordon ramsay crossover

i want to see him and gyuvin interact like i cannot tell you why but yeah (also yes, gyuvin can speak english but idk how well)

halloween cosplay episode

i might be biased because i am a cosplayer

but imagine a halloween themed episode where they have to make their own costumes

maybe they’re given like different fabrics or random clothes to work with

and they can figure out their own hair, makeup, and props too

i want at least one member to try sewing like i need to see it

they could invite special guests to come and teach them how to work with stuff like worbla or a sewing machine

and then at the end they have to model all of the costumes and film a dance practice in them because ofc they do

AND THEY ALSO GO TRICK OR TREATING

dorm content

obviously we need some dorm vlogs!!

like if we could get an episode of the members balancing being idols and school for some of them

also a dorm moving in + bedroom decor episode

i’d love to see the members do challenges to win like a budget for their common space furniture

and then an ikea vlog of them trying to get furniture in a certain amount of time maybe??

or it’s a scavenger hunt for money inside of ikea while they’re simultaneously looking for furniture

also cooking vlogs or maybe the members try to host a housewarming party

i’d literally cry if they plan a housewarming and then invite their friends from boys planet to come

please i just need to see dog union and junrae reunite

and imagine if we can get wumuti, seo won, woongki, and hwan hee

this is purely wish fulfillment but i want it so badly

and i want to see their skincare + morning routines

closet tour?? the boys shared their clothes so often on the show that it was hard to tell who wears what normally

pc decorating episode

could be an album unboxing episode

and if the album itself has any sort of interactive element like how seventeen’s semicolon had the weaving kit then they could assemble that

they can also get toploaders to decorate

it can be based on the pcs they pull because i have a strange desire to know what their pc luck is like

also i know this is sort of blasphemy but it is their album so ig they get a pass

but imagine journaling but with the photobook and maybe stickers if they include any

in case you can’t tell, i want to see how artistic the boys are lmfao

amusement park episode

we all knew this was coming

why are we surprised

hear me out, it’s a combo of an escape room and an amusement park

so like to escape the amusement park they need to collect clues which are scattered all around the park

some of the clues require them to go on the ride first

they can also be split up into teams of 3 maybe?? to see who can get out first

and the team that gets out last has to go on a ride that the other two teams pick

school episode

i want yujin to be the teacher

and the rest of them are the students

and they all play some sort of character but like switched

watch sung hanbin and zhang hao switch

jiwoong and gyuvin

matthew and gunwook

this is purely because i need to see gunwook cringe while doing aegyo

gunwook our canadian oppa

tbh i think matthew can pull off the student president character

ooohhhh and he should debate too

and i saved the best for last

taerae and ricky switch, outfits and all

THINK ABOUT IT

LIKE RICH EXCHANGE STUDENT TAERAE

AND LOSER (AFFECTIONATE) FASHION TERRORIST RICKY

---

show and tell?? mini series

like i want each member to teach the other members a specialty of theirs

ig ricky’s was the art episode already so pretend that’s here

cafe episode

yes this was inspired by my idea of hanbin teaching all of the members how to tut and waack

but i feel like that’s too easy, so how about having hanbin bring the group to his family’s cafe and they run it for a day LMAO

or maybe help run it…

and hanbin’s mom can teach them (not hanbin bc cold injeolmi toast…)

i want gyuvin waiter like i cannot tell you why but

and taerae too bc the more i can see him smile the lighter my soul feels

and matthew waiter for the same reason ofc!!!

jiwoong making coffee, pls he has such barista vibes

hanbin on making hot desserts because i want him to redeem himself

and gunwook and yujin on decorating desserts because i also need them to redeem themselves for their cake

ricky on sodas and smoothies because his mocktail video was just too smooth like that’s what won me over

zhang hao on tea and tea lattes

idrk why but i feel like he’d be good on whisking matcha

like the violinist wrist yknow

strings ensemble episode

also zhang hao teaching them how to play violin

he can also play piano and gunwook said that one of his goals was to learn how to play

so what if they make their own little strings ensemble with gunwook piano solo

you cannot tell me that gyuvin doesn’t give off double bass and taerae doesn’t give off cello energy

as a cellist, i’m claiming taerae

ricky would probably play violin, like it has very expensive vibes

and hanbin too because haobin violin lessons…can you see the vision

i think yujin and matthew would play viola. i don’t have any reasoning but ik some violists and they all have that energy

jiwoong gives me saxophone vibes 💀 but since we can’t have that, i’ll also give him the cello

it has a really warm and deep sound?? idk i feel like it suits him but maybe i’m going insane

wouldn’t it be so cute if they played an arrangement of their debut title track

also not alone would be soooooo cute

learning english episode

with our canadian oppa matthew

i think it’d be so funny if ricky and gyuvin pretended like they didn’t know any english

ik vancouverites don’t really have a “canadian accent” but i want matthew to mess with them by doing like a newfoundland accent so badly

or he just starts speaking french but with like an english accent and we see how long it takes the other members to figure it out

i feel like ricky would know but not say anything

debate episode

so as we know, gunwook is a debate kid (i say that both lovingly and maliciously)

so essentially going seventeen’s debate night LMAO

i want the members to vote on something that they fundamentally believe to be true

like what way should toilet paper go

and then put them on the opposite team

BUT we follow actual debate rules so they have to do research and cite their sources

prepare objections, etc etc

all within like 15 minutes lmfao

---

musical episode pt 2

but i specifically want them to write the whole thing

one team can write the script, another can write the music and choreograph and another can build the sets and plan costumes

as the resident actor, i nominate jiwoong to write the script and help direct

maybe gunwook for writing too? he’s a nerd and a debate kid so i feel like his writing must be good

MUSIC TEACHER HAO WITJ DANCE TEACHER BIN AND SINGER SONGWRITER TAERAE

literally the dream team i’m sobbing

ricky on set design and costumes because he’s an art kid so i trust him

and matthew too because his cake in the final episode was actually really cute??

not sure where i’d put gyuvin and yujin? maybe gyuvin on script writing so he can be with gunwook because i will never get sick of watching them interact

and yujin on set design?? but also yujin and jiwoong (T ^ T) and i want to see the sheer chaos that is gyuvin trying to build a set

maybe they can play rock paper scissors to figure it out

actually just a whole school performance episode or mini series??

so each episode could be a different performance that they put on as a school recital

to perform for their parents LMAO (yes this is just the artist battle special star creator stage)

i need them to do a spoken word poem and or interpretive dance because i had to do that in elementary school and i need somebody else to share in my suffering

some ideas include: a poem about the importance of colours?? and a series of tableaus depicting the creation of the Canadian Pacific Railway

they could also do church plays but instead of stories from the bible they can be like korean folktales or disney ripoffs

and ofc they have to do the awkward singing and then doing hand movements that correlate to the lyrics of the song

could also be done with their debut track btw

i want fancams of all of this

sports day

you know i had to do it

isac also works!! but idk if they're doing that so um

so with the summer olympics coming up in 2024, i think it’d be so funny if they do some summer olympics sports

volleyball segment for gunwook our resident haikyuu nerd please

and they can wear the uniforms from the anime too

please please please wakeone think about it

also imagine a skateboarding episode?? idk why maybe it’s the north american but i feel like matthew would be surprisingly good at it?

also surfing?????

idk if the surfing scene in korea is good but if not they can always take a trip to hawaii or smth i certainly will not be complaining

esports + pc building episode

listen we have 3 whole gamers in the group, this is kind of perfect

the gamers can be the captains of each team

i want the lame ass esports poses and intros

and the stats too like imagine

ALSO if you guys have seen the trash taste pc building special but think about the potential

so it’s partly based on skill and also how well they can build a pc

so they build the pcs and then play using the pcs

there should be a separate prize or bonus for building it the fastest (but not necessarily the best)

also i want the editing thing where they have an expert build the pc properly and then every time that the boys fuck up, the clip of them messing up is played right after the expert does it the correct way

think about the chaos

mock trial episode

same sort of thing as the debate night but they have to represent their clients

i feel like sung hanbin would be the defendant like i have no evidence for this but i want someone to indict him

he just seems like he would be really good at pretending to have not committed a crime

and then 2 attorneys and 2 witnesses on each side

prosecutors: gunwook and zhang hao (imagine the haobin tension guys) (also gunwook just has major prosecution vibes idk what to tell you)

defence attorneys: matthew and gyuvin

prosecution’s witnesses: yujin and taerae

defence’s witnesses: jiwoong and ricky

i feel like gunwook and zhang hao would be really good and logical

but like how can you not want to trust matthew and gyuvin like they’re so sweet

also i need them for comedy

gyuvin would 100% object to random shit and i need that

i’m sorry but i can’t imagine yujin and taerae being very good witnesses so ig it balanced out gunwook and zhang hao?

and jiwoong and ricky would be AMAZING witnesses

like it took skill to not be evil edited so ricky would be able to keep his calm so well and jiwoong too like i would trust whatever they say

and the judge could be an actual lawyer they brought on as the expert for the episode

and the jury can be the staff lmfao

now what is hanbin’s crime you might be asking?

being too handsome tbh i have no idea maybe the fans can vote on it the week before or smth LMFAO

---

volunteering mini series!

it really warms my heart to see people give back to the community, especially idols because it inspires a lot of fans to do so too!

it’d be really nice if maybe as a holiday special? they went around to different places and volunteered to spread awareness for the causes

maybe it’d be better if they split up?

the members can choose what they’re passionate about too

my personal suggestions/ideas would be:

a retirement home (they can perform music for the elderly people there. i’m thinking zhang hao and taerae would be a good combo)

a hospital

a soup kitchen

a community centre (i’d love to see hanbin and gunwook teach after school dance lessons to children)

and the proceeds for the episode could go towards different charities or programs for these places (ie if they need more funding or renovations) as well as a link for fans to donate more to these places

---

[satuurnus]

🍵 peace

[someonelookingpretty]

I never thought I’d be the person to buy a “live laugh love” style mass-market artwork from ikea, but uhhhh

Love is Golden. (by Jung Kook)

[not7wu]

Chapter One: Where Are You?

Where are you?  Maybe you’re at home.  Maybe you’re sprawled out on the couch or cuddled up in bed.  Maybe the TV is playing in the background, or maybe you’re sitting in complete silence.  

Is it real silence though?  A true absence of sound?  Or have you gone deaf to the song your home is singing?  Not a metaphorical song of comfort, safety, and warmth, but a soft cacophony of onomatopoeias.  The hum of the fridge and clacking of the icemaker, the almost imperceptible high frequency buzz from ancient wired poles outside your window, the combination of creaking floorboards distinctive to the weight and stride of each person or pet.  You hear this song so often that it falls into the background, cataloged as white noise until you no longer notice it except instinctually.  

And so, instinctually, you know you are not home. 

A computer cooling fan is whirring with a coded beep every few minutes, but you don’t own a computer or laptop.  Honking vehicles from traffic is muffled through glass, but your home is on a corner with a stop sign.  A faucet is lazily dripping close by, but your bathroom is next to the kitchen on the other side of the house.

Your eyes snap open and the first thing you register is pale gray morning light and computer monitors illuminating the room.  Strange, since you religiously use black out curtains and usually can’t sleep if you mentally know there’s a light source in the room.  That’s why the little red indicator on the TV in your room has black tape over it.  There is no TV in this room.  

Next on the list of strange are the wooden beams exposed on a vaulted ceiling, a far cry from your cookie-cutter popcorn ceiling.�� White walls instead of navy painted walls.  Even more alarming, the feel of fine silk sheets compared to your Target-brand cotton ones.  You didn’t know you could discern how expensive fabric is by skin contact alone, but you decide to put a pin in it because your stark nakedness is taking top priority in the forefront of your mind.  Alarmed, you lunge up, jarringly wide awake and alert, dragging the aforementioned silk sheets with you.  Expensive they may be, but a poor shield to the cold of the unknown.

The room’s decor is, in polite terms, eccentric.  Simple maroon bedspread, no extra pillows, but instead swimming in a sea of Maplestory plushies.  Messy desk with a triple monitor gaming PC.  An alarming amount of Mario figurines scattered about.  It would honestly read otaku frat bedroom if it wasn’t for the sturdy, non-IKEA bed frame, the matching nightstands and reading sconces, the balcony sliding door with actual drapes sashed on either side, and the matching patio furniture beyond.  An adult otaku bedroom then, which you honestly can’t judge because your own room is a shrine to seven Korean men who have no idea you exist.  You shake your head from that distracting rabbit hole because, hello, you’re naked.  Your priorities should be finding clothes, finding your phone, getting home, and THEN daydreaming about BTS.  

On the nightstand closest to you sits neatly folded pajamas and a sticky note.  The handwritten script is blurry at first.  You have to squint and when they come into focus, it almost looks familiar. 

“If you’re freaking out because you’re naked, it’s your own fault.  You said fuck it and took off your clothes anyway.”  

You press your fingers to your temple.  Ugh.  Of course.  Did you get blackout drunk again last night?  Are the Consequences of your actions, with a capital C, catching up to you?  However, your despair is interrupted because you can’t help noticing the design of the pajamas.  Holy shit.  This original striped BT21 RJ design is no longer in production, reselling for hundreds of dollars on Ebay, AND it’s in your size.

The sound of a distant door creaking open lights a fire under your ass.  With a quiet gasp, you leap off the bed and panic-shove your limbs into the pajamas as you hear footsteps pad in the distance and a door clicking closed.  You pause to listen for any other movement.  Hearing none, you rummage around for your iPhone, haphazardly stripping the bed of sheets, punting the now scattered plushies to scour under the bed, and combing through the nightstands and the desk.  Unfortunately, you come up empty.  Without your phone, you feel naked yet again, weaponless without the tool to call for help and no way to accurately retrace your steps from last night.

This could all be a prank, but you don’t know anyone who would take it this far.  Your eternal roommate and cousin, Jo, is like a big sis to you and would never go this far.  You also couldn’t be at a hookup’s home since lately you haven’t had the energy to get it on.  You’re pretty sure the last thing you did was fold laundry with Jo, and then you passed out while listening to “Tonight” on your sleep playlist and hugging RJ, so, drunken blackout/hookup theory was out.  But the biggest clue–You unlock the balcony door and step out.  Looking around at the sleepy cityscape, you think, “I’m definitely not in smalltown Sheboygan, Wisconsin anymore.”

Clusters of skyscrapers brush the sky.  Businesses and apartment buildings crowd each other with scattered green squares of what you assume to be parks.  There’s a distant river cut by steel bridges.  Taxis and cars wend around wide six-lane streets.  The apartment building you're in is frickin’ tall.  You’re not used to buildings going beyond ten stories, but you must be at least 20 stories high.  You’re not sure if it’s vertigo or the overwhelming anxiety building, but your vision begins to blur around the edges as air struggles to enter your lungs.  You force yourself to slow your breathing as your heart batters your sternum like sharp lead and your brain races like a runaway train with its breaklines cut because you can’t make sense of how you could be wherever here is.  Plopping yourself down on a cushioned seat, you squeeze your eyes shut, teeth barred.  You must be having a dream, a very vivid dream.  Your forearm scrapes against paper where another sticky note has adhered itself to you.  

“This is not a dream.”  

….Okaaaaaay.  That was convincing.  You stumble back inside and weigh your options.  Make a ruckus and demand answers from whoever lives here?  Or avoid people and sneak out?  

Haha, who are you kidding?  Of course, Plan Sneak Out wins by a landslide because confrontation is not your middle name.  You’re not even sure if you’re not still dreaming despite all these helpful little sticky notes, which you discover also label the three doors in the room.  

“Walk-in closet.”

“Hallway.”

“Bathroom.”

Thank you, mysterious sticky notes.  You head to the hall and quietly close the door behind you, pausing in puzzlement.  Another sticky note on this side of the door reads, “Jin”, which, of all things, almost pushes you over the edge into nonsensical laughter.  It’s the same name as your BTS bias.  What a coincidence.  

The door you exit is the last one at the very end.  More doors line either side of the hall, leading to an entryway illuminated by a soft warm light.  All is quiet as you slowly sneak towards the entryway, reading the sticky notes that label the doors with increasing incredulity.  

“Yoongi”

“JK”

“Tae & Jimin”

“Namjoon”

“Hobi”

Ha.  There’s just no way.  No.  Way.  Nope.  This is a sign.  A sign that you’ve gone crazy.  You’ve finally gone full delulu.  This is what you get for reading fanfics until two in the morning.  Tumblr was fine, but when you got sucked into the trenches of AO3, you knew you were on a one way trip down the Montero stripper pole to hell.  You nervously tug and tease a loose thread on your limited edition pajamas and debate throwing your consciousness off the speeding train in your head, wondering if it would hurt as badly psychologically as it would physically.  You just wanna return to Jin’s bed–Ha!  Jin’s bed–and go back to sleep, hoping it’s all just a weird dream you can laugh about later.  

There is no clear exit to be seen.  All the doors so far have been labeled.  Could it be a trick?  Could one of those doors actually be the exit?  The thought of having to test those doors with the possibility of finding someone on the other side has you near hyperventilating.  Five, four, three, two, one.  Okay.  The Five Senses trick to deescalate your panic attack.  What five things do you see?  Five, you see a black leather sectional with a sizeable mess of blankets.  Four, you see a dimly lit chandelier over an industrial dining table.  Three, you see an open concept living room with an impressively large flat screen TV that almost takes up an entire wall and a modern kitchen with a sturdy island range stovetop.  Two, you see floor to ceiling windows that stretch the length of the east wall, if the sun peeking behind the cityscape is any indication.  One, you see six sticky notes lined in intervals on the glass wall.

What four things do you feel?  Four, the hem of your thin cotton pajamas is becoming damp from your sweat as you rub it between your fingers.  Three, the black stone wall is smooth as you run your hand along the length.  Two, you press your palm against the biting chill of the windowpane.  One, you tug on the crisp yellow paper and read the first sticky note.

“1. You’re in Seoul, Korea.”  

The view of the city is incredible and you try to find any foreign indication that the note speaks truth.  The signs on the buildings and electronic billboards don’t seem to be in Hangul, but you’re definitely not in Sheboygan.  You could be in Chicago for all you know, but the note definitely said Seoul.  You’re not really in Seoul, are you?  You move onto the next note.

“2. You really are in Seoul.”

It’s almost like the sticky notes are talking to you.

“3. These notes are talking to you.”

A hysterical giggle bubbles in your throat.  There are three more sticky notes between this and the last one.  There’s no way these sticky notes could predict your exact thoughts.  You skip to the last sticky note.  Ha!  Take that!  This is all just in your head after all.

“4. This is not all in your head.  Nice try.”

A straitjacket and a padded room suddenly sound like the safest place for you. Okay.  Focus on not panicking.  You’re fine.  Everything’s fine.  If you mumble this mantra to yourself enough times, maybe the universe will take pity on you.  What three things can you hear?  Three, you hear the whisper of wind against the windows.  Two, the sound of running water.  One, a machine jingles cutely, prompting you to search for the source.  No, no, no, you mustn’t wake any of the residents before you can get out.  

You rush to the kitchen and discover it’s the coffeemaker signaling the end of its task.  After a brief once over of all the complicated buttons, you unplug it because there’s no way you’re gonna find the off button.  What two things do you smell?  Two, One, the scent of the Biolage shampoo you have on rotation cleanly cuts through the dark velvet of coffee that permeates the large space.  

Taste.  You’re not a die hard coffee fan.  You make the occasional stop at Starbucks, but it’s more for the sugar rush than anything.  Still, you pour some coffee into an already waiting mug to fulfill the last step of your panic attack deescalation.  You take a careful sip of the bitter liquid, and the warmth that settles in your belly is soothing even though you’re pretty sure caffeine and anxiety shouldn’t mix.

Wait a tick.  You poured coffee into an already waiting mug–

The pile of messy blankets on the couch comes to life.  Your heart beats a loud thundering bass in your eardrums as a man rises from the couch.  If you weren’t delulu before, you are now, because Kim Seokjin is standing not even 30 paces from you, his dark hair sticking up in mussy awkward angles as he rubs his eyes and makes his way towards the kitchen.  You jump back to clear a path to the coffee machine.  He shuffles past you, half lidded, and sleepily paws at the space where his coffee cup is supposed to be.  You slide it onto the counter near him, which his hand magnetizes to almost instantly.  You weren’t even sure he was aware of you, but he takes a sip and turns to lazily observe you.  

Raspy from sleep, a deep voice you’ve only heard through a screen or microphone asks you, “So, what kind of day is this?  Did you skip to Note 4?”

You’re so shocked that THE Kim Seokjin is speaking to you that all you can muster is a dumbfounded, “What?”  

Is he talking to you?  You surreptitiously scan the room because he couldn’t be talking to you, right?  He peers at you with concern over his steamy mug.  “Did you skip to Note 4?”  He points to the yellow sticky notes on the window wall.  Both of you automatically turn to look at the notes and then back to each other.

“Erm, yeah?”  

“Ah, it’s a blue day,” Jin says, his plump lips turning up into a doughy smile reminiscent of Yoongi’s.  He walks over to the fridge and picks a blue sticky note off.  Uncertainly, you take it when he hands it to you.  The fridge also has a smattering of green, pink, purple, and orange sticky notes, which he begins to gather.  

Jin is shorter than you thought he’d be.  Of course, he’s tall, two heads taller than you, but having only ever observed him larger than life through a screen or from a long distance on stage, he just seems so…normal.  Double-jointed fingers, most every Jin stan worships, neatly stack the multi-colored sticky notes onto his palm.  From this angle, you can see another hall and a door that seems likely to be the exit past Jin, jackets hung on hooks and an orderly shoe rack near it being the biggest clue.  You don’t know how you feel that the sticky note on that door has one simple word written on it in big bold letters.  

“STOP”  

Are these sticky notes trying to stop you from leaving?  Why?  It’s not like you’ve been one hundred percent on board with these sticky notes so far, but the one on the exit door has you more on guard now than ever.  This would be the best time to flee, but you hesitate, glancing at Jin who is now assessing you in a way that feels expectant.

Suddenly self-conscious, you lick your dry lips and run your fingers through your hair.  Your fingers snag on a knot as a thought occurs to you.  Jin seems much too calm and nonchalant faced with you, a total stranger and potential sasaeng.  You clear your throat and test the waters.  “Good morning.”

Jin flashes a grin at you.  “Good morning.”

Dazed, you bow, stuttering, “Um, I–I’m Y/N.”

He sips his coffee, an amused smile playing on his lips.  “Yeah, I know.”

“You…know?” He knows your name?  Kim motherfucking Seokjin knows your name.  “And you’re Kim Seokjin, Worldwide Handsome, also known as Jin of BTS.”

Your word vomit has you wanting to die on the spot.  Jin huffs a laugh.  “Are you gonna start reciting my birthday, astrological sign, and MBTI results next?”

December 4, 1992.  Sagittarius.  INTP.  You think it, but self preservation has you blessedly silent.  His eyes twinkle like he knows what you’re thinking anyway.  “...but we don’t know each other,” you continue.

Jin yawns and scratches at his collarbone where the buttons are undone on his pajamas.  “We don’t?” he inquires with a lazy grin.  Did you somehow forget that you know Jin? That's not possible. Having any sort of relationship with any of the boys would be a dream come true. So then how is this not a core memory?  

You recall that Spongebob episode where all the personifications of his abstract thoughts rifled through mazes of filing cabinets in his brain to locate his own name and you imagine something similar is going on in your own head, trying to determine your relationship with Jin.  It doesn't help that you can see his collarbone, his unbuttoned shirt, and his disarming grin–it’s distracting.  He’s very distracting and you’ve gotta get a grip on yourself.  Your sanity is hanging on by a thread and you’re trying not to be the weird demented fangirl that you truly are.

You discreetly suck your drool back in, at least you hope you do, and comment, “I didn’t know you spoke English so well.”

“Of course, I’m amazing at everything I do,” Jin says, stretching.  Dear gawd, was that a sliver of belly?  “But, alas, we’re speaking Korean right now.”

Say what now?  “No, I’m speaking English.”

“You’re speaking fluent Korean and I barely know the English ABCs,” Jin informs you.  His eyes suddenly crinkle mischievously.  “Hey, why can’t bears live without bees?”

The sudden joke comes out of left field, and for the life of you, you can’t think of a clever response.  “Um, because bees make honey?”

“Because without b’s, bears are just ears!”  Jin’s windshield wiper laugh fills the room and you simply gape at him.  The joke wasn’t all that good, but his laugh sparks mini-shocks through you like fuzzy static and you can’t help but smile.  Jin wipes fake tears from his eyes and tilts his head at you.  You don’t want to read too much into it, but his gaze on you almost feels fond in a familiar way, which it couldn’t be.  Ridiculous.  

Jin gestures to the sticky note forgotten in your hand.  “You should read that,” he says kindly.

You nod assent and smooth the blue paper. 

“You’re safe.  You’re okay.  Trust Jin, or whoever gave you this note.  Joon, Yoongi, Hobi, Tae, Jimin, and Kookie are your friends.  Everything’s going to be fine.  I gotchu, bitch.  - Y/N”

It is clearly your signature.  The revelation has you off kilter.  You woke up in BTS’ condo in what is apparently Seoul, Korea.  Jin knows you.  The boys are your friends.  You wrote these notes.  So you should trust the notes, right?  Trust Jin.  You look up to meet his bright eyes.

“So, we do know each other,” you state, tentatively.

He tries to reassure you with a smile.  “We do.  There’s a lot to talk about and catch you up on, but first, I think we should eat breakfast.  How about I cook while you go get cleaned up?  Your clothes are in the walk-in closet in my room if you wanna take a shower.”

He drinks his coffee as he waits for an answer.  Food and a shower sound amazing right now.  The conflict of your fight or flight instincts is steadily numbing and you just want to shut down.  But, speaking of clothes, “Hey, Jin?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did I wake up naked in your bed?”

Jin chokes and coughs, spraying coffee on himself.  His ears turn red and he averts his eyes.  The expression on his face can only be described as someone caught between a rock and a hard place, but he quickly schools it into something apathetic.  “Oh?  You were naked in my bed?" he wheezes, throat rough from coughing.  "I don’t know about your sleeping preferences, but what I do know is that you came over for drinks last night...and passed out here.  You were naked?  In my bed?  Hmm, weird.”

Oh yeah.  That was absolutely convincing.  “And why was I sleeping in your bed instead of the couch?”

Jin sets the coffee down and rips a few paper towels to pat the front of his pajamas.  We’re wearing a matching set, actually.  He adopts an affronted attitude and explains, “I’ll have you know that I am the perfect host, and as the perfect host, I would never let a guest sleep on the couch.  Especially on that monstrosity, which is more modern art than couch.”  

The sectional does look uncomfortable.  You’re not satisfied with his answer, but the blush of his ears has extended to his neck, the rosy pink deepening into an almost crimson flush.  Entertained, you decide to be pacified for now.  “Breakfast sounds good.  I’ll go shower now.”  

It’s almost funny how relieved the set of Jin’s wide shoulders look with your decision to leave the matter to rest–for now.  You leave him to his ministrations and head to his bedroom. You read the names on the sticky notes as you once again traverse the hall, now in the opposite direction, and marvel at what your day is now.  Closing the door behind you, the kitchen comes to life with muffled clangs of pots and pans.  

Leaning against the door, you read the note again.  You’re safe.  You’re okay.  Everything’s going to be fine.  Well, that remains to be seen.  As interactions go, you didn’t make a complete fool of yourself in front of Jin.  It honestly could have gone a lot worse.  At least you didn’t scream or faint.  The glory that is Kim Seokjin is really something else in person.  Pictures and videos don’t do the real him justice.  You’re slowly coming to terms that all of this is real.  The texture of the carpet beneath your bare feet, the sound of the other members rousing, the small ache of hunger in your belly, you can’t deny that it’s all actually happening.  

Shaking yourself from your reverie, you become aware that you’ve been on autopilot.  You’ve made the bed, stacked the Maplestory plushies, threw blankets into the hamper in the walk-in closet, and are now standing in front of the bathroom mirror, all as if your body is used to this routine.  You turn on the shower, wait for it to warm up and then step into the relaxing stream.  Jo would love the giant rain showerhead.

Wait, Jo!  Does she know you’re here?  Is she waking up alone and confused in an empty apartment wondering where you are?  Your concern has you clutching the slick tiles.  You hyperfixate on the warmth of the water, mentally following the path down your head, from your hair, along the skin of your back over your rump to stream down your legs and over your achilles to lightly pool at your feet.  As your body relaxes and the high from your Jin interaction subsides, your thoughts sink into gray worry and cautiousness.  Jin said there was a lot to talk about.  Answers were coming soon, but still you don’t quite feel right in your skin.

Fact.  You are Y/N.  You are 25 years old and you’re from Sheboygan, Wisconsin.  You work at Kohler Water Spa and you live an ordinary life.  You speak English.  You don’t know Korean…right?  You rinse shampoo out of your hair and mentally focus to discern if you’re thinking in English or Korean, hoping to pin down the voice in your head visually.  Results are inconclusive.  You can actually feel your brain throbbing in protest.   

Fact.  You are in Korea.  Seoul.  Hannam the Hill.  You wrote the sticky notes.  You can’t help that your thoughts go wild with theories.  Maybe you sleepwalked–sleep flew??--here?  You were kidnapped?  By BTS?  Jin allegedly knows you.  At least, he didn’t seem surprised to see you this morning, and in fact, seemed downright comfortable enough to subject you to his world famous puns.  Ugh, you wish Jo was here.  She’d know what to do.  You’d call her if you could find your phone.    

You soap your body and you think, any self-respecting Army would be ecstatic over something like this happening to them.  Acknowledged as a friend of BTS, well enough to be showering in their shower, sleeping in their bed, and eating food cooked by Jin.  Given the opportunity, you assumed you'd be thrilled, happy, and grateful.  Faced with the reality, you feel alien, like you’re not where you’re supposed to be.  The Army in you says fuck where you’re supposed to be.  Take this opportunity and run with it.  But it would be much more enjoyable if you had your bearings.  Sure you could fake like you had your shit together, but shit has literally hit the fan.

Your hands stutter to a halt.  Something suddenly feels not quite right, as if the negative thoughts have now physically manifested on your body.  You have the same straight hair.  The same soft hands and neat nails.  The same lithe body, but there are scars on your arms, torso, and belly. What the fuck happened?  Were you in an accident?  Is that why you don't remember anything?  The scars look old though.  You can barely see them but the indentations are there, marring your otherwise normally smooth skin.  Something to ask Jin about later.

After getting out of the shower, brushing your teeth and generously partaking of Jin’s skincare products, you head over to the walk-in closet.  Women’s clothes and shoes line two of the four walls.  They might all belong to you because they seem to be the right size and style you favor.  After dressing yourself, you step back into the bedroom and almost brain yourself on the door jam because Jin is sitting on the bed next to a tray with two plates of pork belly, white rice, sauteed bok choy and kimchi.  

“Ready to eat?” he asks, offering a glass of water to you.

You settle across from him, accepting the glass.  “Thank you for the meal.”  He smiles and nods.  The both of you eat, lost in thought in the quiet.  You try to focus on the food in front of you, but his eyes are searing into you, and you squirm a bit, feeling very much like a wriggly amoeba under his microscope.  

Giving up your act of indifference, you peer up at him. His cheeks are puffed out like a squirrel as he chews.  It’s disgusting how endeared you are by how adorably ridiculous he looks.  He stuffs an impossibly huge clump of rice into his mouth.  Your expression of disbelief has his face scrunching into the biggest smile, and he starts to laugh, which is a big mistake.  He’s now choking on the rice, violently coughing, and you’re pounding his back shouting admonitions at him, as he debates spitting the rice out or forcing a swallow.  The door slams open and Yoongi bursts into the room.  All three of you freeze, you with your hand mid-air ready to pound Jin’s back again, Jin with his palm open under his mouth to catch the rice he has decided to abort, and Yoongi eyes wide watching the chaotic scene unfold.  You don’t know who starts first, but you and Jin are laughing so hard that you’re gasping for air and Yoongi harrumphs, judging the pair of you from the doorway.

“You guys are so weird.”  He pushes back his yellow bleached hair and rolls his feline eyes, but you spy the twitch of his lips as he holds back a smile.  “Good morning, Y/N.”  

So casual.  So unperturbed.  So normal.  “Good morning, Yoongi-ssi,” you squeak nervously.

Ssi.  So you ARE speaking Korean.

Yoongi does a double take, eyebrows furrowed.  “Yoongi-ssi??”  

Jin tells him, “It’s a blue note day.”  

Yoongi nods, expression still concerned, but clearing of confusion.  “Ah, a blue day.  Understood.  Let me know if you need anything, Y/N.  You have my number,” he offers with a smile and backs out. Before he shuts the door completely, he peeks in again. “Oh, also, if you guys decide to die or kill each other, can you do it quietly?  Some of us are working or still sleeping.  Later.”  With that, he leaves.  You and Jin glance at each other, and then sputter into laughter again.  Jin is falling over and you have to hold the tray steady from disaster. 

When you finally recover your lungs and Jin’s amused hiccups die down, he sets the tray on the floor.  “So, you have questions.  I’m here to answer them,” Jin says, earnest kindness projected in every word.

Surprisingly, but maybe not so surprisingly, the first question out of your mouth is, “Where’s my phone?”  

“Ah.  You want to call Jo, right?”

“How did you know?  Do you know Jo too?”  Jin shakes his head with a smile that says he knows you and knows you well, which both excites and worries you.  

"I don't know Jo.”  He pauses, then says, “But you shouldn’t call her.”  

“Why shouldn’t I call her?  She’s the very first person I should be calling,” you say matter-of-factly.

“You wanna call Jo.  And then your mom, and then your ‘kids’--cousins, to be precise, but, Y/N.  I don’t know how to tell you this except to just tell you bluntly.  They…don’t know who you are.”

Something isn’t computing.  Synapses not synapsing.  Brain not braining.  “What does that even mean?” you ask carefully.  “That doesn’t make any sense.  Why wouldn’t they know me?  Jo is my cousin.  My mom is my mom.  And my other cousins are like my babies.”

“Well, yes…but not here.  Not in the real world,” Jin says cryptically.

“I don’t understand.  What do you mean ‘the real world’?”

He hesitates, and then sallies on. “Here are the hard facts and truths of the real world.  Your name is Y/N.  You are 25 years old.  You work at Big Hit in the human resources department.  You’re an orphan.  You have no family. ”  

You scoff in disbelief and growing indignation.  “You can’t be serious.  I’m an orphan?”

“It’s the truth,” he says solemnly.  All traces of your previously shared hilarity have disappeared into the ether.  “But I’m here for you. We are here for you. Namoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook are your closest friends.  All of us are like family and you’re part of that family."

All this information is giving you whiplash.  "How am I supposed to believe all that?"

"Please, believe me," he pleads.  "You’ve tried calling Jo before, and it didn’t go over so well.  Actually, Jo handles it pretty well.  She’s really nice. We even flew her to Korea one time.  She’s a hoot, but you didn’t handle it very well.  You kept trying to make it something that it isn’t and just disappointed yourself because, like I said, Jo doesn’t know you.”

“And what is up with that?”  You throw up your hands in frustration.

“With what?”

“That!  You keep talking as if this happens all the time.  Do I have amnesia?  Short-term memory?  Am I crazy?”  You wonder if you’re going crazy.  Have you finally cracked?  

Jin gathers your hands in his and your reeling stumbles to a halt.  These sensations don't feel dream-like.  The boniness of his fingers gripping yours.  The warmth of his palms.  They feel like an anchor trying to keep you from floating away, but you’re pretty sure the string on your kite isn’t even attached to you anymore.  Jin’s thumbs rub circles on your skin.  “You are not crazy,” he assures you.  “You do have a memory issue, but we’ve got this handled.  You’re aware this happens.  That’s why you’ve written all these notes for yourself.”

His eyes haven’t left yours for one moment, and there’s a part of you that feels like he’s trying to convey more to you, but you just can’t decipher what it is.  You’re at a loss for words.  Did you dream up your whole life?  Is this really your life?

He gently drops your hands and scrubs his face.  “I’m not doing a good job explaining all of this.”

“You really aren’t,” you say with a small smile.  You feel your smile involuntarily tremble and you’re embarrassed to find that your eyes are beginning to water, but you do your best to swallow it in, biting your lip.  You refuse to cry in front of this man.  Jin says he knows you, but he’s essentially a stranger.  You don’t really know him.  You know idol Jin, but you don’t know Seokjin.

“Look.  I know this is a lot to take in,” Jin says gently.  “You take all the time you need.  I already told corporate that you’ll be taking off this next week, so you can relax and figure things out.”

Relax?  In BTS’ condo?  “So do I live here with you guys?”

“What?  No.  Don’t be ridiculous.  You live a few floors down.”  He thinks you’re being ridiculous?  In all the realms of possibilities, this, of all things, is a ridiculous notion?

“Then why are my clothes in the closet?” you ask.

“Convenience for sleepovers?”  

“Was that a question or a statement?”

Caught, he tries to reel things back on track, explaining, “You’re here about fifty percent of the time anyway.  Why wouldn’t you keep some things here?”

“Yeah, ‘some’ things.  Not half a closet.  And why your closet?”

“Is my closet not good enough for you?” he asks in mock-indignation.  You know he’s trying to lighten the mood, but you feel like you’re back at square one.  His explanations have only given you more questions and you feel adrift.  You’re an orphan.  The people you thought you knew are strangers.  You don’t know anyone in Korea.  Jin, Yoongi, and the rest of the boys are all strangers too.  You feel alone and–

“Jin.  I think I want to be alone right now.”  You look to the floor, not wanting him to see the tears threatening to spill, your throat thick.

You hear him get up.  He hesitates at the door.  “Y/N–” he starts to say, an emotion you can’t figure out coloring your name, but then he thinks better of it, stopping.  “Ahem.  I have a meeting with my brother I can’t miss, but I’ll be back soon.  If you want to go to your apartment, just let one of the guys know and they’ll escort you.  Take all the time you need in here.”  

And with that, he leaves you.  The door clicks shut.  You feel like you’re underwater, like you’re sitting at the bottom of the ocean, the pressure squeezing your lungs.  You feel fragile, like you’ll shatter at any moment.  Slowly, you get up to shut the drapes on the balcony sliding door, blocking out the morning sun now shining cheerfully and the city abuzz.  You carefully remove the plushies off the bed and hide yourself beneath the silk duvet.  Burying your head into the pillows first, you then allow yourself to weep, gasping on sobs.  

None of this makes any sense.  How can your most precious memories and relationships be fiction?  You’ve always tried your best to be a good daughter, a good granddaughter, a good cousin, a good friend.  How could your whole life be a lie?   Jin and Yoongi were friendly and seemed to genuinely want to help you, but you have the sneaking feeling that there’s something else going on.  Things like this don’t happen for no reason.

You don’t know how long you cry for, but eventually you run out of tears.  As you drift into the welcome oblivion of sleep, you wonder if you’ll wake up at home to the sound of your fridge humming, the ice maker clacking, the telephone poles buzzing outside your window, and the floorboards creaking as a loved one gets ready for work.  

Join the Taglist - Next Chapter

Back to the Multiverse - Back to Series Masterlist

[progressivepower]

131 companies, including Ikea, Volvo Cars, eBay, Heineken, Godrej Industries, AstraZeneca, BT Group, Nestlé, Unilever, Danone, Bayer, Ørsted, Iberdrola, and Vodafone have published an open letter urging all parties attending COP28 to decide on phasing out unabated fossil fuels.

[burntheworldtwice]

Live Thoughts on The Last Voyage of Demeter (Spoilers)

So I know very little of this movie outside the plot. I know it is much anticipated. Reviews are decent. But I didn't want some critic tainting my opinion you know? So I smoked a bowl, made a broke girls charcuterie, and am diving in.

-First of all who doesn't love a good Dracula tale?

-This is moody. Love that. Definitely recommend being in the dark by a fire if possible. its giving Victorian child and I personally am a victorian child so this is just swell

-I wish we still rode horses. Its a power move. Cop pulls up in a car ugh boring cop GALLOPS up on a horse. Mad respect.

-OMG its the guy who went after Oppenheimer for that shit senator. What's his name......David Dastmalchian. Im sorry hold the phone. DASTMALCHIAN is his dad Machiavelli. I'll be honest y'all im not a fan of his face. He looks weasly and honestly a bit threatening but that may just be the roles I've seen.

-Corey Hawkins out here showing LOOKS. Saving LIVES. CHILD LIVES. What. A. Gem.

-Whats in the box? WHATS in the box? WHATS IN THE BOOOOOX?!

-Why must children be so enthusiastic? So young and full of hope. Even on a fucking Russian ship in the 19th century.

-This cheese is really fucking good.

-Awe isn't this cute. "Crew in high spirits". Dancing around and shit. Did you know that many sailors were gay and that's why everyone thinks the Navy is a bunch of pussies. The more you know :)

-Is that Aaron Paul? LOL

-This really is pretty I must say. And the use of sound is just **Chefs kiss** I love when a movie employs sound as a means of expression.

-She needs a transfusion who's fucking blood is heh using is that his blood? The count is awake! yipeeee.

-I really need to watch some BTS for this. A lot of CGI and sets. Like did they do it Life of Pie style. I'll have to goole that..

-Ruh row. Bats outta the cage. NOT THE FUCKING DOG WHYYYYY KILL THE KID. Ugh why is it always the dog :((((

-HUUUCCKKKK

-Rabies? Men are so simple minded.

-Damn Drac is not looking good. Like worse than Voldy pre cauldron sesh.

-This kid is really taking on some emotional trauma. And little Woody Newman is just a cutie. He reminds of Gavauche (idk if that's spelled right) in Les Mis.

-"A boat without rats such is a thing against nature." That's a tattoo right thurr

-I am LOOOOVING the horror. The gore is so well done. Beautiful like Saving Private Ryan... If youre into blood..

-I could listen to Liam Cunningham read a Ikea instructions manual.

-I don't know if its intentional or not but I can't figure out the timeline of this movie. They mention a cove and it being over two weeks to England. But I can't tell how the time is passing. Could also be high but hey who knows.

-I know Rotten Tomatoes poopood this but I'm having fun and Draculas a dick lmao mimicking his victims. Damn bitch. Oh good strings. I love a good horror

-Why do we find it so hard to believe in things we can't understand? I realize the human brain seeks answers and solutions rather than more questions, but what if the answers and solutions are right there we just refuse to believe it?

-LMAO "I have a very important job for. you Toby. It's a lot to take on, can you handle it?" Hands over a spyglass. "Will you shine my shit for me dude?" I was talking to my wife about this but like I don't remember ever being this curious as a kid. Like demons on board? Nah Im staying in my room. Meanwhile this kid just wandering around the belly of ship.

-RUN TOBY RUN

-He got a knife. Tough kid here.

-Wow he's going full Jack Torrance with the door here. But who needs an axe when you have your face???

-NOT TOBY. Like I know everyone dies and all but damn. Also can Dracula apparate. Or is it like AS IF YOU COULD OUT RUN ME. Im a little behind on my Dracula lore. Oh he might live with these backwoods infusions.

-Okay I just haven't paid attention on the captains log. My B.

-Olgarin was bit... and infected? But Anne and Toby were fed on... and aren't? I'm going to have to think about that. Going up in flames was a fun drama though!

-I feel like maybe don't open the spooky box. And this man just rowing out to sea blindly believing in his faith. Did the Prince of Darkness fly out there? or. Yep. He a winged mother fucker.

-I like Dracula just whispering sweet nothings before he feeds.

-Are his burns not fucking horrifically painful? Im in pain looking at him. I know burns and that shit sucks for forever.

-Can Dracula manipulate the weather? I feel like I really need to brush up on my Dracula now. Foggy as hell. Dracula knew yawls plan come on.

-Women always out here making the greatest sacrifices.

-Why is Dracula synonymous with the devil? I like to think of Dracula like Jason Segal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

-THe smothering with the wings was like kinda dope. Won't lie.

-I'm so glad they're trauma bonded now.

-I think I would of made a great light house keeper. Chill up in the rain by a fire. Watch the ships. Ambient lighting. My kinda gig to be frank.

-That ending sunrise. Wow. Almost poetic.

-NONONONONOOOO please tell me there's not going to be a sequel. Please dear god just let it end.

-Fuck.

[seokjinsonlyone]

the ikea episodes of run bts were so hot