#Bruce wayne with his head in his hands

[flowerflamestars]

where the middle meets snippet

Some long buried instinct- a mark of exactly how much time he’d been spending with Dick- Llewellyn lunged as the kid dove back into the bushes. Caught him around bird-boned shoulders, turning him back toward Dick.

Who, being Dick, feigned a swoon, grinning. “For me?”

Naturally, because billions commingled with whatever smoke delicious hell was in Gotham air had made child snatching orphan acquisition completely acceptable. Traditional. Llewellyn had already fucking participated. “We’re in over our heads with an Elle.”

“True enough,” Dick laughed, striding forward just to duck down on his haunches, smile softening. “Hi. I’m”-

“You’re Dick Grayson.” The kid didn’t try to run again, but the words seemed the break right out of him, unable to held in. Dick flicked a mystified glance up at Wells for half a second, before nodding. Wells let go.

“Yeah,” Dick said, none of his unease escaping. “Are you okay? Whatcha running from?”

Chin tipped shyly down, overgrown dark hair falling in his face, he looked about ten up close. Delicate in a way that was not helped by his oversized clothes, baggy polo sleeves emerging comically from a sweater vest. He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dick sounded kind, but his what the fuck expression over the kids head telegraphed even more acutely than the neon between them what he actually thought. “Think we can forgive a little trespassing. Especially if you let us take you home. Do you know your mom’s phone number, kiddo? Or your dad?”

Elle decided to make herself known with a loud sigh, arms crossed. Time overlaid- her face, smoothed with age, glittering- her face, no flesh holding onto the cliff of pointy cheekbones, grey-green putrid ooze all that remained of an empty eye socket- herself, Llewellyn blinked, herself, making a face his way at Dick’s increasing, panicked infantilization of the child in front of him.

“He’s wearing a middle school uniform,” she announced.

The errant, apparent middle schooler in question’s eyes flew open, darting from Dick to her, before settling enormous, on her cheek.

Eleanor glared back. Sighed again, like they were all very, very useless, before stomping up. “We’re going to see Jason. Do you want to come?”

He nodded, rapidly. Apparently settled, Elle went back to murdering grass with her duct-taped together boots, kid scampering along, only for them both to pause in what was more contempt than confusion when Dick offered their littlest member in question his hand.

“I don’t want anyone to get lost,” Dick shook his offending palms, giving Wells a clear help look, “Or scared?”

“Motherfucking christ,” Elle muttered, grabbing onto that horrible sweater vest to haul the kid along.

Enough was probably enough. Llewellyn caught Dick around the waist, only beginning to laugh as Dick face-planted into his sternum.

“What the fuck,” he whined. “Are all kids so mean?”

“How old did you think he was?”

Dick twisted, retaliatory, bit down on Llewellyn’s collar bone hard enough to sting. “I don’t know,” he left a kiss over the red mark, not a apology, before sinking back in. “Eight? Nine? Six? What did you think?”

“Ten,” Wells offered. “Bones are nowhere near done fusing.”

Yellow bloomed like wonder, deep dark marigold sugar blossomed fondness. “His bones.”

[thebibliosphere]

Thinking longingly about him again. (The Pennyworth series for some inexplicable reason.)

[kens-ramblings]

so ik it’s not cannon accurate but,,,

i need a fic of tim just crashing out.

like he gets so sick of like damian and jason talking about how weak he is and shit like that that he’s like “yall realize lady shiva was my one of my FIRST teachers, and i was the first robin she trained. i had to train under b AFTER he already lost a robin. you DONT think he was 10x harder on me than any of you guys???? there’s a reason my training videos are mainly redacted without bruce’s or my permission. i got ra’s al ghul BEGGING ME to join his league or have my children. i get gifts from him WEEKLY. do you KNOW how many of his little ninja i fight per DAY??? nahh im sick of this shit let’s take it to the mats” and just demolishing both of them at the same time.

i just think it’d be very funny. i just like fics of people who pretend to be weaker than they are(or they just never really have a reason to go full tilt so they just don’t) get sick of holding back and just losing it :D

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Danny as Fenton takes a hit that no human boy should survive while in a different city (im going crossover here) and just transforms into phantom and pretends to be all sad that he died. Just for a moment. He then proceeds to kick the baddies ass. Claims he got ghost powers and fucks off. Imagine if Captain America or Batman saw this while failing ti protect him, hell or any hero type. Danny doesn’t think much on it and just goes on with his week. Continues being Fenton of course but what if he runs into whatever hero, but out if costume, saw him do that.

“How are you here? And alive?”

Danny holding a smoothie:”uhhhh I made a miraculous recovery”

He just shrugs it off and goes about his day. It isn’t until he finally gets some sleep later that night that he wakes up in a cold sweat realising he now knows their secret identity. “Oh well it’s neat I guess” starts to go back to sleep only to bolt back up “oh god now they know my secret identity”

Meanwhile said hero is too busy trying to figure out how to help this random kid to even be worried about the fact that they outed themselves. Someone else probably points it out to them and has to explain it twice before it gets thru.

[phoenixcatch7]

Wayne doll house: demon children.

Idea: each of the batkids is theorised to have a different origin.

Thing is, there's so many of them. The oldest is actually the youngest in body. It seems to be able to share memories with those who follow. It changes design right before a new bat appears.

The hero in the town over is definitely one of them, but what's it doing over there?? Asking just gets non-answers.

What happened to the ones that the Joker tried to destroy? One - the oldest and smallest - came back, but different, whereas the other - the purple and orange one - came back for a while and then vanished again for good.

None of them seem to age??

The first, smallest, oldest, it seemed to be some sort of circus performer? It gave its acrobatics to the blue one when it arrived, grew clever and defensive. It gave that to the skull headed red one, focused on technology and detective work after the Incident. Then again, and again, and one time even the bat changed along with it, but though the bat returned to normal the little Robin didn't, and now it's just as stabby and creative as it is small and creepy.

It's a good sort of creepy now, after over a decade of beating up bad guys and comforting victims, Gotham has gotten used to it, but outsiders don't much like it.

The justice league have a different opinion.

They know, or at least can observe, that the... Souls? Brains? Programs? Switch around, that it's not memories but persons that bring the new bats to life.

They just don't know where batman gets them. The new one, especially, is very circumspect.

For all this talk of the blood son, all the bats calling it demon child with varying levels of fondness, the way batman doesn't deny the claims...

Thing is the bat doesn't have blood. Everyone's well aware of this by now. Whatever sulpheric black tar he and the bats leak probably-certainly isn't blood, or at least... Not anything with dna.

So... What blood?? If not the bat's, why does it tie the newest mind of Robin to him?

Captain marvel is the first to think of an idea.

A blood child of a demon for a blood ritual for a demon.

Constantine and Zatanna second the notion - it's perfectly possible. Reasonable, even. The bat admitted himself he had no way to procreate the way humans did, nor any interest in doing so. Wanting a legacy was perfectly normal.

Except he already had, what, seven, eight, nine kids? He loved all of them, it was clear, and he'd always seemed happy with them. He'd even sighed over how many he had, had rebuffed the teasing about getting more. The new Robin mind had been a surprise to everyone, and the old one in a new body had been a little salty about it.

So the new theory was that batman hadn't decided to get a new Robin. Maybe the old mind had been ejected unwillingly! It had happened at roughly the same time batman had gotten a new personality - maybe the incidents were related?

But if batman hadn't done the ritual... Who had?

Who would do something like that???

Cultists. Cultists would do something like that. But giving the bat a son unwillingly seemed... A very odd goal, even for that type.

So... Had they messed up? Had they tried to summon the bat with a blood sacrifice ritual, and summoned a demon instead? Had it partially worked? Was the bat susceptible to demon summonings?? Did the summoning damage his own mind/consciousness/soul in some way, and that led to the creation of the new demon child while the bat changed until he'd healed????

How kind of batman to take it in!

Tldr; the league thinks Robin V is a demon born/created through a failed summoning ritual involving blood sacrifice that made batman like puns until he healed. The truth is the canon events of Damian arriving at the manor only for b to get tossed into the time stream, becoming the Robin to nightwing-batman while Tim, who is much less annoyed about it than canon, focuses on getting him back. Lmao.

[oleryn]

i love creature batman. no body just his pointy ears and eyes. he’s not even human. he can probably fly. he makes no noise when he moves. how he procures a seemingly endless supply of human children is a total mystery, but they seem to love him, so rescue efforts are usually ignored.

Commissioner Gordon, standing on a rooftop with a cup of coffee and a megaphone: Tim Drake, get away from the Batman. You have human parents and they are going to be very worried about you

Tim, sitting in Batman’s lap as a spindly, clawed hand affectionately pats his head: YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, JIM

[welcometogrouchland]

I miss them so bad (Dick and Damian)

[distort-opia]

Sometimes I think about the events of Superman: Emperor Joker and the fact Bruce knows what happened, even though he doesn't remember it. And I wonder how the fuck he coped with that.

Joker literally broke Batman. He killed him and then brought him back to life, again and again, each time with more ingenious torture methods, until he went mad. And at the end of the story, Joker is shown in a cell, crazy and babbling. Apparently the Universe has been put right after Joker's rampage, including Joker's own erased memories of it, but not... Bruce's. The things Joker put him through were impossible to undo. It was Clark who had the Spectre take away Bruce's memories of it all and put them in his head, so that Bruce might become sane again (supposedly, the Kryptonian biology helps).

But the thing is, Clark tells Bruce about it. Later on, one of Joker's plans seemed dangerously reminiscent of Emperor Joker, so Clark became understandably concerned that either Bruce or Joker remembered. (Actually, it's more fair to say Clark had PTSD post-Emperor Joker). It turns out that Bruce didn't recall anything, and Joker showed no signs of it either. But Clark ends up explaining himself to Bruce anyway. Bruce knows what Joker did:

Action Comics (1938) #784

Needless to say, it's all very Superbat, especially on Clark's side. But the even more interesting part of all of this is... that the issue belongs to the bigger arc called Joker: Last Laugh. That's the plot that triggered Clark into thinking Emperor Joker was happening again. And this confession happens right before #6-- aka, the time Dick Grayson beat Joker to death but then Batman saved his life. Saving Joker is actually what Bruce set out to do:

The whole thing culminates with Bruce apparently giving Joker CPR to bring him back (the first of two canonical times, actually):

Joker: Last Laugh #6

I really love it when context in comics makes an event that's already bonkers... even more fucking bonkers.

Because Bruce had learned that Joker literally drove him insane with such amounts of torture no human mind could withstand-- but still chose to save Joker's life. It wasn't even about making sure Dick doesn't become a killer, it was about saving Joker from the start.

[sunlitlemonade]

any time bruce feels one [1] complex emotion he says ooooh look! time to lash out :] girl pls pls im begging

[basalting]

its been like a week since i read batman year one for the first time and im STILL thinking about bruce almost praying to his father!!!!

[np-c]

if your batfamily doesn't give off big addams family vibes, I don't want it

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO

More Baking Show Bruce nonsense. Part 1 and the Post I stole this from

[goodknifeboy]

I know there are a lot of fanfics about Jason being caught by the Justice League and usually getting bailed out by the batfam, but imagine if it was Brucie Wayne bailing him out:

In the JL interrogation room:

Superman: Alright, Red Hood, who is your supplier helping you move drugs in Star City?

Red Hood, who was undercover investigating a drug ring and got caught in a JL bust and sesnses an opportunity to mess with Batman: Look, I know you guys aren't cops, but can I get at least get one phone call?

Justice league looking skeptical?

Red Hood: You can even monitor it.

Green Arrow: Fine one phone call, but it will be monitored.

Hands Hood a phone

Red Hood: Hey Dad, I got stopped by the Justice League. Could you come bail me out? Really, okay, see you soon. Okay, my Dad said that he would bail me, so could we go over to the teleporters?

Green Arrow: Okay, firstly, we aren't cops, you can't just post bail and get out. Secondly, how would this "Dad" get up here?

Red Hood: You'll see.

Minutes later, Brucie Wayne walks in with a trail of Heroes, trying to explain why he cannot be at the Watchtower.

Superman: Mr. Wayne what are you doing here and how did you get here?

Bruce laying the Brucie persona on thick: Well as one of the Justice League's biggest doners and tech suppliers I have access to the teleporters, as for why I'm here it's to bail out my son. Hi Jaylad!

Red Hood fully expecting Batman: What?

Green Arrow remembering his friend's grief over loosing Jason: Ummmm, Mr. Wayne this is the Red Hood. You know "Bag full of severed heads" Red Hood.

Brucie: Yes, I know he's had some issues with his big feelings, but he's still my sweet little boy.

Superman: And you think that he's your late son Jason Todd?

Brucie: Yes, Batman even confirmed it was him. It turns out that after he died, he was brought back by an organization that planned on using him as a weapon against Batman. But he left them and has been working to improve Crime Alley, I'm so proud of him.

Green Arrow: We caught him in Star City with Drug runners.

Brucie: I'm sure he has a good explanation, don’t you Jaylad?

Red Hood still reeling from Bruce showing up as Brucie and not Batman: I was undercover?

Brucie: See perfectly reasonable, now can I please have my baby boy back? Alfred will be so upset if he's not home for dinner.

Surprisingly, this works , the Justice League is to stunned by this revelation and later confirm this with Batman that yes, the notorious Red Hood is the son of Billionaire, philanthropist airhead Brucie Wayne. Jason, meanwhile, has suffered a huge blow to his cred in the Hero community because of the association with Brucie instead of the Batfam. The bat siblings do not let this go anytime soon.

[hkhyuk]

you’re bruce wayne and you turn the same age your father was the night he died

[incorrectbatfam]

Has Bruce ever packed the kids lunch when Alfred wasn't there? How'd it go?

[Wayne Enterprises]

Tim: Finally, time for my break.

Tim: *opens his mini fridge*

*dozens of apples fall out*

———————

[the library]

Steph: *chugs a gallon of milk*

Cass: *bites into a bread loaf*

Barbara: I'm not even gonna ask.

———————

[day patrol]

Duke: *opens his lunchbox*

Duke: *sighs*

Duke: *pulls out his bat-skillet*

Duke: *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg—*

———————

[West-Reeve Middle School]

Damian: Kent, I will trade you your cupcake for this head of lettuce.

Jon: ...

Jon: Deal.

———————

[Bludhaven]

Jason: Bruce packed our lunches. He said we're supposed to share.

Jason: *hands him a bag*

Dick: What'd you get?

Jason: A frozen turkey. You?

Dick: *opens it*

*fire alarm goes off*

[haveihitanerve]

okay but can you imagine-

nightwing, tearing through Gotham, looking for any signs of trouble because hes visiting his family and decided to help out a bit. and suddenly a blur shoot past him and he curses and lands on a nearby roof, sprinting at full speed. all he gets back is distorted laughter, more terrifying than any noise joker can ever make because thats his dad. laughing. at him. and dick screams in frustration and tries to run faster but he cant and the Gothamites are looking at him like hes crazy, hightailing it across the roof after someone they cant see, and then the blur disappears and dick comes to a stop, panting, and batman is waiting on a nearby gargoyle, not having broken a sweat, casually chomping on a burger as if to say, 'what took you so long' and holds out a water bottle silently and dick snatches it, chugs it, then pelts it at his fathers head but bruce is long gone.

nothing has ever enraged him more

in my head bruce is faster than the kids and it pisses them off so much. they're in their prime and this 40 y/o guy who sleeps like two hours a night and puts protein shakes in his coffee and calls that breakfast can outrun them