#Brotherless Night

[giosele]

2024 Favorite Reads

I gave eight books the highest rating I could on Goodreads (alongside paragraphs of rambling praise in my reviews). All were absolutely wonderful books, but I didn't want this post to be a ten thousand lines long, and so... here were my top three favorite reads from this year.

Brotherless Night by V.V. Ganeshananthan

A book about growing up during the tragic 26-year civil war in Sri Lanka, and what it means to live in a time of racial tension and relentless violence.

I spent about 40% of the book ugly crying and the other 60% in a trance. Ganeshananthan's prose is magical. Though I should've known going in that this would destroy me. Any book starting like this is sure to be incredible ->

I recently sent a letter to a terrorist I used to know. He lives near me, here in New York City, and when I opened the envelope and slid in the note that said I would like to come and see you, I thought of how much he had always required of me and how little I had ever asked of him. Even when I was growing up in Sri Lanka, before I had ever heard the word "terrorist", I knew that if a certain kind of person wanted something done, I should comply without asking too many questions. I met a lot of these sorts of people when I was younger because I used to be what you would call a terrorist myself.

The Coin by Yasmin Zaher

A wealthy, young Palestinian woman moves to New York City to fulfill her dead mother's last wishes: to live and thrive in the US. Instead, she slowly goes insane in the heart of the American empire.

When I discussed this book with my cousin, she drew a lot of parallels to Moshfegh's My Year of Rest and Relaxation. Probably because The Coin's narrator is a privileged, cruel, and funny woman that constantly dissociates from reality and is always horny.

I argued that both the books and narrators are very different. The trauma isn't localized. This is about a woman trying to cling to her beloved family's last wishes despite the contradictions of her values against those of the American urban elites. She knows of the horrors of the world, but what right does she have to criticize the neoliberal machine when she is one of its beneficiaries?

Besides, if her dear mother wanted her to live this life despite everything the US has done to their people, then...???? surely all is fine?????????

That fall, Vetements erected a massive pile of clothes in the center of Saks. The big pile was mostly jersey and denim, in all the colors I despised: faded black, army green, sports orange, fire-extinguisher red. It was a big pile of rags, like soccer-mom laundry, a monument for mass consumption. I really admired this brand, even though I didn't own anything from there, it was the opposite of my taste. Those brilliant Georgian designers were like the Banksy of fashion, they sold sweatshop hoodies for thousands of dollars, because the young and ultrarich wanted to look like the working class. The slogan was Ugly Is Beautiful. Of course, it's very cruel, but it's a reflection of the truth, isn't it, that the truth is ugly. I used to think that if people saw the real face of wickedness, not the mask, then they would revolt. I used to be a proponent of transparency. When Netanyahu and Trump were elected I thought those were the good days, because the truth had come to light. But it seemed not only that the truth was ugly, but that ugly was beautiful. The people adore the monster, the rich want to look poor.

If I Survive You by Jonathan Escoffery

A series of short stories centered around a young man's coming of age after his parents flee to the US to escape political violence in Kingston, Jamaica.

Despite he and his family's best intentions to fit in and 'survive', they're quickly kicked down by the cruelty and ruthlessness of a capitalistic, race-obsessed society.

It is a very bleak subject-matter, made even more heart-wrenching because Escoffery's narrator covers the events of his life with gracious humor and endearing persistence.

Also, I love that it has second-person narration.

Your Chinese American friend, Caitlyn, confides in you that she feels White. "What does Whiteness feel like?" you ask her. "I imagine it's like walking barefoot on a shag rug." "Oh, I forgot," Caitlyn says. "You must hate White people." "Why should I hate White people? I moved all the way to the Midwest to discover White people." "I just mean that people expect me to have some kind of minority perspective on things. Like I'm supposed to be the ambassador for Chineseness. My Mom and Dad are the only Chinese people I know. Plus we're so well off. I guess I feel too privileged not to be White." "That must be difficult," you say. "I know how this must sound, especially to you, but that doesn't change the way I feel. You wouldn't understand. How could you?" "It sounds like you'd prefer if people treated you less like a generalization and more like a human being. Like how White people treat White people." She bites her lip cautiously, then says, "Right." "And your outward appearance is the only thing preventing this from becoming a reality." "Exactly!" she says. "I know what you're feeling," you say. "And I don't think it's Whiteness."

[bookcoversonly]

Title: Brotherless Night | Author: V.V. Ganeshananthan | Publisher: Random House (2023)

[bloodmaarked]

➸ reading list

just added:

home fire, kamila shamsie

hits different, tasha ghouri + lizzie huxley-jones

someone who will love you in all your damaged glory, raphael bob-waksberg

how to solve your own murder, kristen perrin

the octopus man, jasper gibson

kim jiyoung, born 1982, cho nam-joo

brotherless night, v.v. ganeshananthan

gold rush, olivia petter

bittersweet, susan cain

beyond the door of no return, david diop

[wellesleybooks]

The Women's Prize 2024 winners have been announced.

BROTHERLESS NIGHT by V. V. Ganeshananthan has won the Women’s Prize for Fiction. Set in the early years of Sri Lanka’s civil war, a young girl dreams of becoming a doctor, as her family and friends are caught up in mounting violence.

DOPPELGÄNGER:A TRIP INTO THE MIRROR WORLD by Naomi Klein has won the first ever Women’s Prize for Nonfiction. Klein’s comic, yet chilling memoir chronicles her experience with a doppelgänger- whose name and public persona were close enough to her own that people got confused about who was who.

[lilianeruyters]

Women’s Prize: my winner

[yfexsexg]

Completely forgot about putting the books I read here lol, in that time I read "As You Walk On By" by Julian Winters (didn't enjoy) and "Brotherless Night" by V. V. Ganeshananthan (way better but I can't remember anything about it). I have the time but lack the energy to do a full post on either of these, but I'm currently reading "The Space Between Here & Now" by Sarah Suk, it's okay. I need to start reading books with a fandom, it's very rewarding.

[totheblood]

new romantics.

pairing: modern!ellie x best friend's sister!reader

summary: ellie is your brother's best friend, and also a loser lesbian. oh, and you are "off-limits."

warnings: drinking, ellie being a loser maybe?? suggestive themes

a/n: this is purely self indulgent tbh... just needed some ellie pining and soft fluff... idk this trope makes me dizzy even though i am brotherless... pls enjoy.. AUDIOS AT THE END HEHE! also reblogs, asks, and replies are so appreciated and encouraged! thank u kisses

wc: 2.4k

"every night with us is like a dream."

ellie was excruciatingly uncomfortable.

okay, that was a little dramatic, but she still felt the sweat pooling at the back of her neck when you opened the door for her. this happened too often for her liking, you letting her into your house as she had to wait for her best friend to be ready to go. she’d curse him out for it later, but now she was stuck making small talk with you.

you, who was showing way too much skin today, the fleshy skin below your neck peeking through the loose tank top you wore. your skin looked soft and moist, almost as if you were glowing and ellie could smell the sunscreen coming off of you. you, who her best friend, and your brother, told her was off-limits. she often questioned why he said that, but as you flashed a toothy grin at her it became apparent. you were a dream.

if ellie was being honest with herself it pissed her off that he banned her from trying anything with you seeing as she had no game and you were just so easy to talk to. it’s not every day that you run into a pretty girl who also likes girls, and it’s not every day that you have an in with her brother. fuck you, sean ellie thought.

“hey, ellie. come on in,” you held the door open for her, closing in when she stepped through, “sean will be down soon.”

involuntarily, a blush spread across her face, pink picking at the freckles on her skin. her hand nervously scratched the back of her neck, a nervous tick she had picked up. 

“hey,” she was looking anywhere but your eyes, sitting at the marble island in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and reeling in the comfort of the cool material on her skin, “what’re you up to today?”

“some friends and i are going down to the lake to go swimming,” you followed behind her, leaning on the counter opposite of her, “maybe drink a bit. what are you and sean up to?”

“we had nothing planned,” she chuckles, fingers fiddling with the rings on her fingers, “sounds fun, though.” 

she watched as you turned towards the fridge, pulling two water bottles from it and stuffing one in your tote bag that hung off your shoulder. you handed the second one to her, your hands briefly touching. a shiver ran across her skin. you were being kind at most, but her cheeks still glowed red as she thanked you.

“you should come with,” you leaned back on the counter a small smirk on your lips, “didn’t really think that was your scene though. but i’d love for you to come — both you and sean should come.”

“uh — um, yeah,” she chuckled again, nervously opening the water bottle and taking a sip, “i’d come, i mean, yeah. that sounds cool.” she’d forever curse herself for how awkward she sounded. “thanks.” 

sean came down the stairs, his hair messy and phone in hand. he wiped the sleep from his eyes as he stepped into the kitchen, nudging your shoulder as he opened the fridge to find something to eat. 

“did you just wake up?” ellie asked from her place at the counter, a teasing and knowing tone to her words. 

“yes, i did,” he rolled his eyes, settling on a water and pulling it out of the fridge before turning to the two of you, “it’s saturday. let me live, el.” 

“uh, i think ellie’s gonna join us down by the lake.” you told him, causing him to shoot an odd look to ellie, raising his eyebrows as he took a sip of his water. “you should come too.”

“uh,” his eyes darted in between you and ellie, “um sure, that sounds… cool.” 

ellie didn’t even realize she was holding her breath till he agreed and she let out a deep sigh. she was just happy he didn’t ask any questions or wonder why she agreed. she knew she’d get the worst of it later, but now she just wanted to be uncomfortable in your presence. she didn’t realize how much of a loser she was until now. 

“well, dina’s coming for me now,” you smiled brightly at both of them, gripping the straps of your tote harder, “she should be here any minute, you guys can come with us.” 

sean looked at ellie, waiting for her response. 

“yeah, yeah,” ellie stood from her seat, scratching the back of her neck again, “that sounds good.”

-

when the car pulled up to the lake and you all piled out, ellie found herself sticking close to you and sean, obviously uncomfortable. she didn’t know why she was even here, was she that desperate? 

almost as if you could sense her discomfort you turned towards her, “you okay, ellie?” when she didn’t respond immediately you spoke again, “i know this isn’t your usual scene but we’re pretty chill.” you led her down to the table you and your friends had set the stuff up on and pulled a beer out of the cooler, “here, have a beer. loosen up.”

ellie reached for the beer hesitantly, but opened the lid and took a small swig, face setting up at the taste, “yeah, i’m fine, i just — i don’t party much.”

“it’s not really a party,” you giggled, taking your own beer out of the cooler and cracking it open. you took a long sip before speaking again, “it’s so funny, you’ve been friends with sean for so long and i feel like i know nothing about you.”

a small laugh left ellie’s lips as she looked up at you with a shrug. she hated nothing more than talking about herself, but she wanted nothing more than to talk to you. “well, ask away.”

you took another swig of your beer, squinting slightly at her as you watched her take another sip. “hm,” you pretended to be deep in thought, “what about how you and sean became best friends?”

ellie felt small under your gaze, shifting her weight onto one foot as she fiddled with the hem of her shorts that were now fraying. 

“well, we just used to hang out at lunch and one day i found out he liked savage starlight…” she chuckled, shaking her head, “nerdy, i know. but we just… clicked, y’know? then we just sat together every day, and — i guess the rest is history.” she shrugged again, taking another sip of her beer. “nothing too special, i don’t think.”

“well, i think it’s special.” you smiled at her, taking another long sip of your beer and holding it firmly in one hand, “if you could put up with my brother for that long then you are a saint.”

she chuckled again, shaking her head. “fair enough, fair enough. i dunno how he puts up with me either, to be honest.” another sip of her beer. “i’m sure he’d say the same about you.” 

you faked a gasp and scoffed, playfully pushing ellie’s shoulder with your free hand. “well, he shouldn’t, i’m an angel.” you giggled and took a long sip of your beer, finishing it and resting it on the table. 

when you pushed ellie’s shoulder she couldn’t hide the blush that was now seeming permanent around you, the eye contact between the two of you lingering for almost too long. ellie looked away, hand at her neck again. “if you say so,” she said in a half-whisper. 

“i do say so,” you whispered back. you took a step back and pulled your tank top off, revealing a blue bikini top covering your chest, leaving your shorts on. “you swim, williams?”

ellie’s eyes widened at the sudden flash of skin, all the previous color draining from her cheeks. her mouth fell open, only for a moment, before she cleared her throat to distract herself. taking another sip of her beer, she leaned against the table. 

“uh… yea, i’m… i’m alright.”

“alright?” you questioned, now removing your pants to reveal your bikini bottoms, the bottoms not leaving much up to imagination, “can’t have you drowning.”

ellie had to look away, she didn’t want to be a creep. she was staring at the water, the people floating and talking by the shore, sean who was talking to dina and jesse and somehow laughing and then back at you, mesmerized. “i’ll be fine, i promise. i just don’t have a swimsuit.” 

you looked her up and down. she had a loose t-shirt on and shorts, nothing special. “you got a bra on?” 

“yea.”

“then take the t-shirt off,” you said matter-of-factly, “and the pants too.” you smiled at her before turning on your heel and heading towards the water, “then come and swim.”

ellie’s eyes stayed trained on your ass you as you headed into the water. she almost didn’t notice when sean appeared next to her, almost as if he had been waiting. 

“what are you doing with my sister?”

“talking-“

“ellie-“

“what? i can’t talk to your sister?” she rolled her eyes as she pulled her shirt over her head to reveal her sports bra. “would the world implode on itself if i did?”

sean gave her a pointed look. “you’re not going to try anything funny, right?” he watched as ellie’s eyes drifted back to you again as she pulled her shorts off and put them on the table. “i told you she’s off limits, el.” 

“can i swim with her, sean?” ellie said, her voice dripping with annoyance, "is that okay with you? or is that off limits too?”

“c’mon, el,” he sighed, leaning on the table, “i’m serious.” ellie couldn’t help but roll her eyes again. 

“fine,” she sighed, looking up at him, face still set up from before, “i’m just swimming with her. nothing funny is happening. scouts hono-“

“ellie! you coming?!” you called from the water.

“nothing funny,” he repeated.

“nothing funny,” she echoed back. 

ellie stepped down into the water with you, ignoring how awkward it all felt. she was in her underwear trailing after her best friend’s sister. the beer had left a light fuzz behind her eyes, making the water bearable as her calves got soaked in water. she was grinning from ear to ear as she approached you, the sun now setting behind you, casting a yellow glow on your skin. you shook her from her thoughts, splashing cold water in her causing her brow to wrinkle. 

“took you long enough,” you stood in the water in front of her, the water where you were appearing to be deeper as in came up to your thighs, “what were you guys talking about? sean seemed serious.” 

ellie wiped the water off her face, glancing back to sean at the shore and then back to you, “uh— he just wanted to remind me that you were — that you… are,” she cleared her throat, unsure of what to say. this was the longest amount of time she had spent in your presence and she was already drowning. she didn’t want to lie to you. “off-limits.”

this smile on your face fell as you adjusted your posture, “wait what?”

ellie’s breath caught in her throat, “uh… y’know. like he didn’t want me… well,” her hands came up in a weird gesture between the two of you. “you know.”

no, i don’t know,” you shook your head in disbelief, looking back at him and then back at ellie, taking a step closer to you, “did he tell you not to — to, flirt with me?”

ellie felt the air around her tighten as you stepped into her space, you were dangerously close, “well— uh— sorta. yeah, he did.”

“what the fuck,” you whispered under your breath.

“well, would you—“ where the fuck was this confidence coming from, “would you mind if i did?” she watched as your eyes widened and brows furrowed in confusion before your lips curved into a smile. 

“oh — uh, no. i don’t mind.”

“cool.” ellie smiled. 

as the sun began to set you and ellie talked, floating together in the deep end, occasionally laughing nervously when your feet touched. at some point you began a game of tag, running across the shoreline and splashing water in each other’s faces. it was all innocent and gummy, all of the panic that was usually stuck in ellie’s head dissipating for a brief moment in time as your bodies became silhouettes to those on shore. 

your body had grown tired and asked ellie to come get another beer with you, she smiled and agreed, wiping her wet hair from her face. 

“do you think sean will be mad?” she questioned as she watched you open the cooler again, pull out two bears, hand one to her, and sit on the picnic table. you pulled your towel out of your tote bag and wrapped it around you, tapping the place beside you for ellie to sit. 

“i don’t care if sean gets mad,” you opened your beer, clinking your glass with hers as you wrapped your towel around her back, both of you now sharing the terrycloth, “it’s so fucking stupid.” 

ellie’s face was warm again as the wet skin of her shoulder burned against yours, “it is stupid.”

“it is,” you reiterated, taking a swig, “he probably thinks i’ll corrupt you or something.”

“he might,” ellie chuckled, “i can be corrupted, i’ll be honest,” she shrugged, taking her own swig of her beer, “maybe you will corrupt me.”

you looked over to her, smirking slightly as your voice went low, “you flirting with me, williams?” 

her throat felt tight.

“maybe i am,” she leaned closer, “is that a bad thing?” 

you pursed your lips, looking back out at the water and taking another sip of your beer. ellie’s eyes flicked down to your lips briefly. what was happening to her? 

“not a bad thing no,” you giggled, “thought i was…off-limits.”

“you are… but i feel like you don’t exactly mind.” her voice was low, an innocent smile plastered on her face, “do you mind?”

you leaned in a little too close for her liking, breath blowing puffs of air over her lips as you spoke. behind the two of you fireworks went off in the distance, scattering hues of blue, silver, and red across the sky, “i don’t mind.”

ellie was fucked. 

ai audios:

[nanabansama]

dysfunctional

Hello! I am once again thinking about the yugi twins. Don't mind as nanabansama rambles on...

Specifically, I was thinking about how rough their relationship has been since the beginning! The relationship becomes very tragic when you step back and examine the entire situation.

(Before we go any further, note that I am a "Tsukasa Truther" meaning that I believe almost every Tsukasa is the same person. This means I believe 4th Birthday Tsukasa, Red House Tsukasa, and the one that came back are all Tsukasa. The only one I'm willing to bend on is "Tsukasa-kun", the one haunting the school in the changed world, but even then I'm inclined to believe it's still Tsukasa.)

anywho... the earliest Tsukasa we know was always resented by his dying older brother.

I find this really interesting. Amane is jealous and thinks Tsukasa is the "lucky" one, which is kinda true, isn't it? He lucked out and wound up with zero health complications. If I was Amane, I might feel frustrated, too. Not that it's Tsukasa's fault either, but...

I really like how, even when Tsukasa and Amane were alive together, and there was no doubt either was a fake, it wasn't going right! It's possible it's never once been going right, at least not since Amane was old enough to realize the innate difference between himself and Tsukasa.

You could maybe argue they were happy on the night of their 4th birthday, but Tsukasa still left that night thinking Amane hated him and was happier without him.

Even the instant Tsukasa came back from the Red House, Amane wasn't sure if he was real. While he had good reason to doubt it was Tsukasa, I think it's interesting how he couldn't wholly enjoy his brother coming back without feeling like something was...wrong.

Then Amane is burdened by this suspicion up until and after their deaths, while Tsukasa has firmly believed Amane hates him since he was 3-going-on-4 years old. And it's impossible to say how long that actually is at this point, haha.

There's something really sad about how Amane longs for the past, back when his relationship with Tsukasa didn't seem all that complicated, yet Tsukasa is on a completely different page because of something Amane did that he might not even remember anymore. And on top of that it doesn't help that Amane killed him, almost cementing Tsukasa's suspicions that Amane hates him...

I feel I don't need to touch much upon their strained relationship as ghosts, so I want to jump to the changed world. This Amane grew up without Tsukasa and is clearly miserable because of it. His preoccupation with making everyone happy by exploiting the supernatural proves this: no one happy with their life would do that unless they miss someone dearly. Yet we saw what happens when he gets to grow up with Tsukasa: they both die. Amane can't accept Tsukasa as he is and Tsukasa doesn't think he'll ever be loved. They're completely dysfunctional and every single scenario ends in ruin.

...well, I guess we still haven't learned what happens in a world where Amane Yugi died before he turned 4. Somehow I get the feeling things might've gone better there, but nonetheless very tragic. There's a good possibility Tsukasa might've eventually found some other way to use the supernatural to bring Amane back, though.

Looking at the photograph in Ch. 119, the parents both look pretty pleasant. They both appear to be smiling while Amane isn't, implying they took it better than he did. You could possibly argue Mrs. Yugi is wearing a neutral expression, but it looks more like a smile to me. Personally, this tells me that they both took Tsukasa's disappearance better than Amane, so the only ones Amane is really making happy are himself and arguably Tsukasa. It isn't difficult to imagine a brotherless Tsukasa meddling with the supernatural too, especially since he already did that in the original timeline.

Anyway... am I really here to argue that the Yugi Twins are completely hopeless? No, of course not!! Even though that is basically what I'm doing. BUT I really do believe they might eventually work this out, just as of right now it's looking really bleak. As we can see by the fact we are at 119 whole chapters now, it's taking a long time to mend their relationship and will probably take a lot more, if it ever works out.

While the changed world feels like Amane going a few steps backward, it might actually be progress. And even before the world changed, when Amane believed Tsukasa was a fake, I think that was an important step towards mending their relationship, too. If they can just confront their issues with each other properly, maybe they can finally move on with their lives and find peace. Who's to say! 👻 Thanks for reading.

[kummatty]

it was a scattered year, I read a lot but not as much reading books cover to cover. still managed some great reads that'll stay w me and some I definitely want to revisit

my top five in no particular order

a mercy, toni morrison

walled states, waning sovereignty, wendy brown

brotherless night, v.v. ganeshananthan

the sexual demon of colonial power, greg thomas

ossuaries, dionne brand

but I would recommend all of them. dear cyborgs didn't rly do it for me and I had to lead discussion on cybernetic revolutionaries for class but they're not bad reads

[goosemixtapes]

max's top 10 books of 2024

past top tens in this tag! as always, these rankings are based on some unspecified combo of objective "goodness" and personal enjoyment. books beneath the cut :3

first off, as usual, our BOOKS I LOATHED category. shout-out to: i, claudius by robert graves (SHAME! SHAME! THE TV SHOW IS SO GOODBADCAMP!) and rhinoceros by eugene ionesco (very real argument about fascism; very fucking boring execution). shout-out also to king cheer and immortal longings, both of which were quite bad but which i wouldn't say i "loathed" so much as "they sent me into spirals of shakespearean madness."

my most anticipated 2025 release is the sea eternal by emery robin. also, alecto the ninth again

okay. the meat of the matter. i read SO many good books this year (and so much good short fiction), so lots of runners-up: brotherless night by v.v. ganeshanathan (absolutely gutting with some of the most gorgeous prose i've ever read), white pearl by anchuli felicia king (set in an asian beauty corporation rocked by scandal; filled the succession-shaped hole in my heart), fairview by jackie sibblies drury (this play is doing the coolest fucking things with fourth walls), luster by raven leilani (i adore the main character so much and she is NOT thriving), and the his dark materials series (i wish i had read these as kids, but i'm also glad i have miltonic context?). thank you to my professors for half of these

OKAY. THE LIST!

10. Dare Me by Megan Abbott

i expected a thriller about toxic friendships and evil cheerleaders; i was not expecting this to REWIRE ME. the DYNAMICS in this fucking book. the ugly violent homoerotics and the empty hunger of white suburbia. the tenderness of the grooming. the constant unspoken looming specter of lesbianism. the constant sense that the main characters are teetering on the edge of disaster. BETH CASSIDY YOU ARE ONE OF THE CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME YOU MAKE ME FEEL BONKERS BATSHIT CRAZY. i need to send everyone in this book the lesbian masterdoc goodbye

9. Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehesi Coates

okay i know everybody raves about ta-nehesi coates' writing so i wasn't exactly SURPRISED this was good. but i WAS still knocked off my feet by the beauty of this book. this is an extended letter to coates' son on the experience of being a black man in america, and every single page is glowing with heartbreak--for all the black people destroyed and endangered by white supremacist society--and love--for everyone who keeps living, for the world, and for coates' son. i wrote down sooooo many quotes that struck me in the chest

8. Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin

kind of no fucking idea what to say about this book because my sense memory of it is just a whirlwind of "ack augh ough." the way this book envelops you in the psychological and emotional tumult of fourteen-year-old john grimes is crazy and intense and then baldwin DOES IT AGAIN in a series of interludes from other characters. this is about one day in john's life and his experience in the church, but it's also about the exhilarating terror in/of religion and the pain of growing up and the agony of antiblackness and the quiet terror of realizing your parents are fallible and human. and also a little bit about being gay for your youth pastor. did people lose their fucking minds in 1953 when this book came out because i would've

7. Lost Places and Sooner or Later Everything Falls Into the Sea by Sarah Pinsker

favorite author i discovered this year is definitely sarah pinsker, whose short stories mostly have in common that they are strange and whimsical as hell and make me want to crawl into her brain. i can't decide between her two short story collections, so i'm putting them both on here because they were SO fucking fun to read. between the two, some of the short stories include: a horror story told through a folk music genius lyrics page! a robot arm that identified as a road! a kid yelling the lines in the 1920s movie theater! george gershwin! girl scouts! and my favorite, a batshit crazy agatha christie homage set at a convention of dozens of alternate-universe sarah pinsker selves! (which you can read online!)

6. Paradise Lost by Erin Shields

look. there are aspects of this play--a modern reworking of milton's epic poem, featuring hot middle-aged woman satan--that are too on-the-nose. but holy fucking shit, the irreversible things milf satan has done to my brainstem. maybe i'm just a fucking ex-catholic but some of the speeches in this play made me feel like i was being tumbled in a heavy-duty washing machine. also, fascinating things going on with script format here. i wrote an insane transgender satan monologue for my paradise lost class because of this play. (also shout-out shields' king lear adaptation/prequel, left off my list for space but it's REALLY fucking fantastic)

5. In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

okay we all know in the dream house. but i'm here to sing its praises anyway, because reading it feels like walking into a woodchipper. this is a memoir about abuse and an experiment with form and a raw open organ placed directly in your hands. machado's prose is genuinely fucking crazy good; she has such a gift for scalpel-like precision in every sentence, and everything about this book is so carefully-crafted and feels like getting clocked in the teeth. there's a choose-your-own adventure section where the result is always the same. for personal reasons i read this at a weird time and it made me want to get on my knees on the carpet and hack like a sick cat

4. Nobody Knows My Name by James Baldwin

i read this essay collection two weeks into the year and i knew it was going to be one of the most stunning reading experiences of 2024. the first page knocked me flat on my ass and it never let up. he manages that thing so few authors can do, where his eloquent and precise prose is exactly as deft as his observations are perceptive and sharp. his work cuts straight to the truth of things. i finished this book grieving the fact that baldwin died before i was born--because he can't comment on current events? because i can't see him speak live? because i felt some kind of connection to him through the words despite knowing he was not writing for some random college kid in the backseat of a car? anyway i am a groupie now

3. Piranesi by Susanna Clarke

reading this and then in the dream house back to back was like self-trepanation. why did i do that. what in the name of god can i even say about this book. what IS there to say. all the best of fantasy and all the best of humanity are in here in under 300 pages and it made me cry and i have thought about it ceaselessly since and i can't say anything without spoiling the fun because you REALLY ought to go in blind. um. girls, do you like, um... the labyrinth?

2. Angels in America by Tony Kushner

ohhhhhhh my god. oh my fucking god. i mean it with my full chest when i say that this is thee defining dramatic work of modern america. play that is about jewishness and gayness and AIDS and love and sickness and the anxiety of modernity and getting boners and prophecies from reactionary angels. and roy cohn is there. this was written at the end of the 20th century and yet it still hits exactly as hard if not harder in 2024 ("in the twenty-first century we will all be insane" yeah for REAL). it's the play of all time. it's one of the most things ever written. i am going to think about it every day of my fucking life. truly impossible to overstate this one

1. The Stars Undying by Emery Robin

and yet AIA is still my #2, because my #1 is a book i think may have been written specifically for me. like, so much for me that i'm furious i didn't write it. that book being a space opera rendition of cleopatra's life story, featuring insane butch mark antony and bisexual love triangles and CICERO? CICERO IS THERE? this is a slowish character-driven story that wouldn't work if gracia's narration wasn't so stirring and self-aware, but it is, and she is, and she's fascinating and has everything wrong with her, and i am obsessed with the things this book is doing with history and legend and the reception of these figures and also ROMAN HISTORY JOKES IN SPACE!!! and i want anita decretan so bad it makes me look stupid. emery robin do you want my credit card information

if you've read this far, please pitch in with your own favorite reads of the year! what books are you excited for in 2025? :)

[clonerightsagenda]

Kat's Top Books of 2023

Was inspired by someone else's post to do a Kat's top 5 books of the year post culling from my #recently reads. I read a lot this year and encountered a lot of great titles, but these ones were particularly memorable:

Vagabonds! by Eloghosa Osunde. Interconnected short stories following the lives of queer misfits and outcasts in Nigeria. I have a passage saved on my phone. I read this back in January so I don't remember the contents as much as the feelings it evoked, but it was beautiful and haunting.

Don’t Fear the Reaper by Stephen Graham Jones. Read My Heart is a Chainsaw first if you haven't already. The books pit Jade Daniels, a young woman with a trauma she's refusing to face head on but instead buries in an obsession with the moral logic of slasher films, against irl slashers who keep coming to town. Bonus points for wired jaw representation, aka my future.

Brotherless Night by V.V. Ganeshananthan. Set during the Sri Lankan civil war following a young Tamil woman who's caught in the middle as loved ones join the Tigers. It starts with a striking passage that you think means one thing and then comes back later in a way you don't expect that's a huge gut punch.

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez. A high fantasy story that is also a diaspora story as the characters' scattered descendants watch history play out. Dips into everyone's thoughts to create a chorus POV that's really effective. Note - incredibly gruesome. Organs, lovingly described, etc.

The Golem of Brooklyn by Adam Mansbach. A stoned art teacher accidentally creates a golem who decides his mission is to stop an upcoming alt right rally. Explores the interactions between the old world and the new and the weight of historical trauma - every golem shares the same ancestral memory. Carries its tensions to the very last page and leaves the reader to supply the answers.

(Honorable mention to System Collapse which didn't make it into the #recently read posts, but I had a great time!)

Nonfiction shoutout to A City on Mars which sourced so many delightful space facts and gave me a lot to think about re: SF worldbuilding that is at all grounded in reality. Plus it was really funny.

[nerdby]

Library Haul:

Brotherless Night by V. V. Ganeshananthan

Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin

Hidden Figures by Margot Lee Shetterly

[lilianeruyters]

V.V. Ganeshananthan || Brotherless Night

Shortlist 2024 Brotherless Night has two protagonists: main character Sashi and the civil war that torments Sri Lanka. Through Sashi, Ganeshananthan confronts her readers with the process of ending up in civil war and with the atrocities that go along with it. At some points Brotherless Night is harsh, at other points the love of Sashi for her family and friends lightens up the plot. Sashi is…

[ijustkindalikebooks]

There's a poem by a writer called Kaveh Akbar called 'Wild Pear Tree' and in it there's this line 'It's been January for months in both directions' I cannot take credit for finding this poem myself (I remember the author John Green mentioning it) but never has a line in a poem been felt so strongly as this one this month.

2025 has never needed a redemption arc so much and a year needed one so fast. I hope all those reading this are safe and they are loved and that you are protected. The world right now has never needed better people leading it more so than today but here we are.

These are the books I loved in this never-ending spiral that was January 2025.

The Vintage Shop by Libby Page - If you're looking for a cosy read, Libby Page is one of those authors that really does make that her thing and this book is no exception to that. The story of three women brought together by a dress, The Vintage Shop is a heartwarming story of family, discover and friendship that makes for a perfect read in those dreary months. I definitely need to finally get round to reading The Lido by the same author now.

A Rebel In Gaza by Asmaa Al-Ghoul - A brilliantly told memoir from someone who has grown up and lived in Palestine and seen the impact of both sides when it comes to the treatment of Palestinians, this is an incredibly insightful book about a topic that now a central focus but for decades has been a political issue that seems to be always on the periphery in the west.

Brotherless Night by V. V. Ganeshananthan - Winner of the Women's Prize for Fiction, Brotherless Night is the story of Sashi, a young woman with a dream of becoming a doctor as politics moves the country into civil war around her. Its beautifully told and the final moments of this book rest live in my head for me to think about ever sine I read them. The writing flows so perfectly throughout that listening to it, I didn't feel like the passing of time had even happened. A stunning book.

What were your favourite books of January? Feel free to reply to the post of drop into my inbox.

Have a wonderful February.

Vee xo.