#Brotherless Night

[bookcoversonly]

Title: Brotherless Night | Author: V.V. Ganeshananthan | Publisher: Random House (2023)

[bloodmaarked]

➸ reading list

just added:

home fire, kamila shamsie

hits different, tasha ghouri + lizzie huxley-jones

someone who will love you in all your damaged glory, raphael bob-waksberg

how to solve your own murder, kristen perrin

the octopus man, jasper gibson

kim jiyoung, born 1982, cho nam-joo

brotherless night, v.v. ganeshananthan

gold rush, olivia petter

bittersweet, susan cain

beyond the door of no return, david diop

[wellesleybooks]

The Women's Prize 2024 winners have been announced.

BROTHERLESS NIGHT by V. V. Ganeshananthan has won the Women’s Prize for Fiction. Set in the early years of Sri Lanka’s civil war, a young girl dreams of becoming a doctor, as her family and friends are caught up in mounting violence.

DOPPELGÄNGER:A TRIP INTO THE MIRROR WORLD by Naomi Klein has won the first ever Women’s Prize for Nonfiction. Klein’s comic, yet chilling memoir chronicles her experience with a doppelgänger- whose name and public persona were close enough to her own that people got confused about who was who.

[lilianeruyters]

Women’s Prize: my winner

[yfexsexg]

Completely forgot about putting the books I read here lol, in that time I read "As You Walk On By" by Julian Winters (didn't enjoy) and "Brotherless Night" by V. V. Ganeshananthan (way better but I can't remember anything about it). I have the time but lack the energy to do a full post on either of these, but I'm currently reading "The Space Between Here & Now" by Sarah Suk, it's okay. I need to start reading books with a fandom, it's very rewarding.

[kkecreads]

Brotherless Night by V.V. Ganeshananthan

Brotherless Night by V.V. Ganeshananthan

Published: January 3, 2023 Random House Pages: 368 Genre: Literary Fiction KKECReads Rating: ⭐���⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I received a copy of this book for free, and I leave my review voluntarily. V. V. Ganeshananthan is the author of Brotherless Night and Love Marriage, which was longlisted for the Women’s Prize and named one of the best books of the year by The Washington Post. She teaches in the MFA…

[totheblood]

new romantics.

pairing: modern!ellie x best friend's sister!reader

summary: ellie is your brother's best friend, and also a loser lesbian. oh, and you are "off-limits."

warnings: drinking, ellie being a loser maybe?? suggestive themes

a/n: this is purely self indulgent tbh... just needed some ellie pining and soft fluff... idk this trope makes me dizzy even though i am brotherless... pls enjoy.. AUDIOS AT THE END HEHE! also reblogs, asks, and replies are so appreciated and encouraged! thank u kisses

wc: 2.4k

"every night with us is like a dream."

ellie was excruciatingly uncomfortable.

okay, that was a little dramatic, but she still felt the sweat pooling at the back of her neck when you opened the door for her. this happened too often for her liking, you letting her into your house as she had to wait for her best friend to be ready to go. she’d curse him out for it later, but now she was stuck making small talk with you.

you, who was showing way too much skin today, the fleshy skin below your neck peeking through the loose tank top you wore. your skin looked soft and moist, almost as if you were glowing and ellie could smell the sunscreen coming off of you. you, who her best friend, and your brother, told her was off-limits. she often questioned why he said that, but as you flashed a toothy grin at her it became apparent. you were a dream.

if ellie was being honest with herself it pissed her off that he banned her from trying anything with you seeing as she had no game and you were just so easy to talk to. it’s not every day that you run into a pretty girl who also likes girls, and it’s not every day that you have an in with her brother. fuck you, sean ellie thought.

“hey, ellie. come on in,” you held the door open for her, closing in when she stepped through, “sean will be down soon.”

involuntarily, a blush spread across her face, pink picking at the freckles on her skin. her hand nervously scratched the back of her neck, a nervous tick she had picked up. 

“hey,” she was looking anywhere but your eyes, sitting at the marble island in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and reeling in the comfort of the cool material on her skin, “what’re you up to today?”

“some friends and i are going down to the lake to go swimming,” you followed behind her, leaning on the counter opposite of her, “maybe drink a bit. what are you and sean up to?”

“we had nothing planned,” she chuckles, fingers fiddling with the rings on her fingers, “sounds fun, though.” 

she watched as you turned towards the fridge, pulling two water bottles from it and stuffing one in your tote bag that hung off your shoulder. you handed the second one to her, your hands briefly touching. a shiver ran across her skin. you were being kind at most, but her cheeks still glowed red as she thanked you.

“you should come with,” you leaned back on the counter a small smirk on your lips, “didn’t really think that was your scene though. but i’d love for you to come — both you and sean should come.”

“uh — um, yeah,” she chuckled again, nervously opening the water bottle and taking a sip, “i’d come, i mean, yeah. that sounds cool.” she’d forever curse herself for how awkward she sounded. “thanks.” 

sean came down the stairs, his hair messy and phone in hand. he wiped the sleep from his eyes as he stepped into the kitchen, nudging your shoulder as he opened the fridge to find something to eat. 

“did you just wake up?” ellie asked from her place at the counter, a teasing and knowing tone to her words. 

“yes, i did,” he rolled his eyes, settling on a water and pulling it out of the fridge before turning to the two of you, “it’s saturday. let me live, el.” 

“uh, i think ellie’s gonna join us down by the lake.” you told him, causing him to shoot an odd look to ellie, raising his eyebrows as he took a sip of his water. “you should come too.”

“uh,” his eyes darted in between you and ellie, “um sure, that sounds… cool.” 

ellie didn’t even realize she was holding her breath till he agreed and she let out a deep sigh. she was just happy he didn’t ask any questions or wonder why she agreed. she knew she’d get the worst of it later, but now she just wanted to be uncomfortable in your presence. she didn’t realize how much of a loser she was until now. 

“well, dina’s coming for me now,” you smiled brightly at both of them, gripping the straps of your tote harder, “she should be here any minute, you guys can come with us.” 

sean looked at ellie, waiting for her response. 

“yeah, yeah,” ellie stood from her seat, scratching the back of her neck again, “that sounds good.”

-

when the car pulled up to the lake and you all piled out, ellie found herself sticking close to you and sean, obviously uncomfortable. she didn’t know why she was even here, was she that desperate? 

almost as if you could sense her discomfort you turned towards her, “you okay, ellie?” when she didn’t respond immediately you spoke again, “i know this isn’t your usual scene but we’re pretty chill.” you led her down to the table you and your friends had set the stuff up on and pulled a beer out of the cooler, “here, have a beer. loosen up.”

ellie reached for the beer hesitantly, but opened the lid and took a small swig, face setting up at the taste, “yeah, i’m fine, i just — i don’t party much.”

“it’s not really a party,” you giggled, taking your own beer out of the cooler and cracking it open. you took a long sip before speaking again, “it’s so funny, you’ve been friends with sean for so long and i feel like i know nothing about you.”

a small laugh left ellie’s lips as she looked up at you with a shrug. she hated nothing more than talking about herself, but she wanted nothing more than to talk to you. “well, ask away.”

you took another swig of your beer, squinting slightly at her as you watched her take another sip. “hm,” you pretended to be deep in thought, “what about how you and sean became best friends?”

ellie felt small under your gaze, shifting her weight onto one foot as she fiddled with the hem of her shorts that were now fraying. 

“well, we just used to hang out at lunch and one day i found out he liked savage starlight…” she chuckled, shaking her head, “nerdy, i know. but we just… clicked, y’know? then we just sat together every day, and — i guess the rest is history.” she shrugged again, taking another sip of her beer. “nothing too special, i don’t think.”

“well, i think it’s special.” you smiled at her, taking another long sip of your beer and holding it firmly in one hand, “if you could put up with my brother for that long then you are a saint.”

she chuckled again, shaking her head. “fair enough, fair enough. i dunno how he puts up with me either, to be honest.” another sip of her beer. “i’m sure he’d say the same about you.” 

you faked a gasp and scoffed, playfully pushing ellie’s shoulder with your free hand. “well, he shouldn’t, i’m an angel.” you giggled and took a long sip of your beer, finishing it and resting it on the table. 

when you pushed ellie’s shoulder she couldn’t hide the blush that was now seeming permanent around you, the eye contact between the two of you lingering for almost too long. ellie looked away, hand at her neck again. “if you say so,” she said in a half-whisper. 

“i do say so,” you whispered back. you took a step back and pulled your tank top off, revealing a blue bikini top covering your chest, leaving your shorts on. “you swim, williams?”

ellie’s eyes widened at the sudden flash of skin, all the previous color draining from her cheeks. her mouth fell open, only for a moment, before she cleared her throat to distract herself. taking another sip of her beer, she leaned against the table. 

“uh… yea, i’m… i’m alright.”

“alright?” you questioned, now removing your pants to reveal your bikini bottoms, the bottoms not leaving much up to imagination, “can’t have you drowning.”

ellie had to look away, she didn’t want to be a creep. she was staring at the water, the people floating and talking by the shore, sean who was talking to dina and jesse and somehow laughing and then back at you, mesmerized. “i’ll be fine, i promise. i just don’t have a swimsuit.” 

you looked her up and down. she had a loose t-shirt on and shorts, nothing special. “you got a bra on?” 

“yea.”

“then take the t-shirt off,” you said matter-of-factly, “and the pants too.” you smiled at her before turning on your heel and heading towards the water, “then come and swim.”

ellie’s eyes stayed trained on your ass you as you headed into the water. she almost didn’t notice when sean appeared next to her, almost as if he had been waiting. 

“what are you doing with my sister?”

“talking-“

“ellie-“

“what? i can’t talk to your sister?” she rolled her eyes as she pulled her shirt over her head to reveal her sports bra. “would the world implode on itself if i did?”

sean gave her a pointed look. “you’re not going to try anything funny, right?” he watched as ellie’s eyes drifted back to you again as she pulled her shorts off and put them on the table. “i told you she’s off limits, el.” 

“can i swim with her, sean?” ellie said, her voice dripping with annoyance, "is that okay with you? or is that off limits too?”

“c’mon, el,” he sighed, leaning on the table, “i’m serious.” ellie couldn’t help but roll her eyes again. 

“fine,” she sighed, looking up at him, face still set up from before, “i’m just swimming with her. nothing funny is happening. scouts hono-“

“ellie! you coming?!” you called from the water.

“nothing funny,” he repeated.

“nothing funny,” she echoed back. 

ellie stepped down into the water with you, ignoring how awkward it all felt. she was in her underwear trailing after her best friend’s sister. the beer had left a light fuzz behind her eyes, making the water bearable as her calves got soaked in water. she was grinning from ear to ear as she approached you, the sun now setting behind you, casting a yellow glow on your skin. you shook her from her thoughts, splashing cold water in her causing her brow to wrinkle. 

“took you long enough,” you stood in the water in front of her, the water where you were appearing to be deeper as in came up to your thighs, “what were you guys talking about? sean seemed serious.” 

ellie wiped the water off her face, glancing back to sean at the shore and then back to you, “uh— he just wanted to remind me that you were — that you… are,” she cleared her throat, unsure of what to say. this was the longest amount of time she had spent in your presence and she was already drowning. she didn’t want to lie to you. “off-limits.”

this smile on your face fell as you adjusted your posture, “wait what?”

ellie’s breath caught in her throat, “uh… y’know. like he didn’t want me… well,” her hands came up in a weird gesture between the two of you. “you know.”

no, i don’t know,” you shook your head in disbelief, looking back at him and then back at ellie, taking a step closer to you, “did he tell you not to — to, flirt with me?”

ellie felt the air around her tighten as you stepped into her space, you were dangerously close, “well— uh— sorta. yeah, he did.”

“what the fuck,” you whispered under your breath.

“well, would you—“ where the fuck was this confidence coming from, “would you mind if i did?” she watched as your eyes widened and brows furrowed in confusion before your lips curved into a smile. 

“oh — uh, no. i don’t mind.”

“cool.” ellie smiled. 

as the sun began to set you and ellie talked, floating together in the deep end, occasionally laughing nervously when your feet touched. at some point you began a game of tag, running across the shoreline and splashing water in each other’s faces. it was all innocent and gummy, all of the panic that was usually stuck in ellie’s head dissipating for a brief moment in time as your bodies became silhouettes to those on shore. 

your body had grown tired and asked ellie to come get another beer with you, she smiled and agreed, wiping her wet hair from her face. 

“do you think sean will be mad?” she questioned as she watched you open the cooler again, pull out two bears, hand one to her, and sit on the picnic table. you pulled your towel out of your tote bag and wrapped it around you, tapping the place beside you for ellie to sit. 

“i don’t care if sean gets mad,” you opened your beer, clinking your glass with hers as you wrapped your towel around her back, both of you now sharing the terrycloth, “it’s so fucking stupid.” 

ellie’s face was warm again as the wet skin of her shoulder burned against yours, “it is stupid.”

“it is,” you reiterated, taking a swig, “he probably thinks i’ll corrupt you or something.”

“he might,” ellie chuckled, “i can be corrupted, i’ll be honest,” she shrugged, taking her own swig of her beer, “maybe you will corrupt me.”

you looked over to her, smirking slightly as your voice went low, “you flirting with me, williams?” 

her throat felt tight.

“maybe i am,” she leaned closer, “is that a bad thing?” 

you pursed your lips, looking back out at the water and taking another sip of your beer. ellie’s eyes flicked down to your lips briefly. what was happening to her? 

“not a bad thing no,” you giggled, “thought i was…off-limits.”

“you are… but i feel like you don’t exactly mind.” her voice was low, an innocent smile plastered on her face, “do you mind?”

you leaned in a little too close for her liking, breath blowing puffs of air over her lips as you spoke. behind the two of you fireworks went off in the distance, scattering hues of blue, silver, and red across the sky, “i don’t mind.”

ellie was fucked. 

ai audios:

[nanabansama]

dysfunctional

Hello! I am once again thinking about the yugi twins. Don't mind as nanabansama rambles on...

Specifically, I was thinking about how rough their relationship has been since the beginning! The relationship becomes very tragic when you step back and examine the entire situation.

(Before we go any further, note that I am a "Tsukasa Truther" meaning that I believe almost every Tsukasa is the same person. This means I believe 4th Birthday Tsukasa, Red House Tsukasa, and the one that came back are all Tsukasa. The only one I'm willing to bend on is "Tsukasa-kun", the one haunting the school in the changed world, but even then I'm inclined to believe it's still Tsukasa.)

anywho... the earliest Tsukasa we know was always resented by his dying older brother.

I find this really interesting. Amane is jealous and thinks Tsukasa is the "lucky" one, which is kinda true, isn't it? He lucked out and wound up with zero health complications. If I was Amane, I might feel frustrated, too. Not that it's Tsukasa's fault either, but...

I really like how, even when Tsukasa and Amane were alive together, and there was no doubt either was a fake, it wasn't going right! It's possible it's never once been going right, at least not since Amane was old enough to realize the innate difference between himself and Tsukasa.

You could maybe argue they were happy on the night of their 4th birthday, but Tsukasa still left that night thinking Amane hated him and was happier without him.

Even the instant Tsukasa came back from the Red House, Amane wasn't sure if he was real. While he had good reason to doubt it was Tsukasa, I think it's interesting how he couldn't wholly enjoy his brother coming back without feeling like something was...wrong.

Then Amane is burdened by this suspicion up until and after their deaths, while Tsukasa has firmly believed Amane hates him since he was 3-going-on-4 years old. And it's impossible to say how long that actually is at this point, haha.

There's something really sad about how Amane longs for the past, back when his relationship with Tsukasa didn't seem all that complicated, yet Tsukasa is on a completely different page because of something Amane did that he might not even remember anymore. And on top of that it doesn't help that Amane killed him, almost cementing Tsukasa's suspicions that Amane hates him...

I feel I don't need to touch much upon their strained relationship as ghosts, so I want to jump to the changed world. This Amane grew up without Tsukasa and is clearly miserable because of it. His preoccupation with making everyone happy by exploiting the supernatural proves this: no one happy with their life would do that unless they miss someone dearly. Yet we saw what happens when he gets to grow up with Tsukasa: they both die. Amane can't accept Tsukasa as he is and Tsukasa doesn't think he'll ever be loved. They're completely dysfunctional and every single scenario ends in ruin.

...well, I guess we still haven't learned what happens in a world where Amane Yugi died before he turned 4. Somehow I get the feeling things might've gone better there, but nonetheless very tragic. There's a good possibility Tsukasa might've eventually found some other way to use the supernatural to bring Amane back, though.

Looking at the photograph in Ch. 119, the parents both look pretty pleasant. They both appear to be smiling while Amane isn't, implying they took it better than he did. You could possibly argue Mrs. Yugi is wearing a neutral expression, but it looks more like a smile to me. Personally, this tells me that they both took Tsukasa's disappearance better than Amane, so the only ones Amane is really making happy are himself and arguably Tsukasa. It isn't difficult to imagine a brotherless Tsukasa meddling with the supernatural too, especially since he already did that in the original timeline.

Anyway... am I really here to argue that the Yugi Twins are completely hopeless? No, of course not!! Even though that is basically what I'm doing. BUT I really do believe they might eventually work this out, just as of right now it's looking really bleak. As we can see by the fact we are at 119 whole chapters now, it's taking a long time to mend their relationship and will probably take a lot more, if it ever works out.

While the changed world feels like Amane going a few steps backward, it might actually be progress. And even before the world changed, when Amane believed Tsukasa was a fake, I think that was an important step towards mending their relationship, too. If they can just confront their issues with each other properly, maybe they can finally move on with their lives and find peace. Who's to say! 👻 Thanks for reading.

[clonerightsagenda]

Kat's Top Books of 2023

Was inspired by someone else's post to do a Kat's top 5 books of the year post culling from my #recently reads. I read a lot this year and encountered a lot of great titles, but these ones were particularly memorable:

Vagabonds! by Eloghosa Osunde. Interconnected short stories following the lives of queer misfits and outcasts in Nigeria. I have a passage saved on my phone. I read this back in January so I don't remember the contents as much as the feelings it evoked, but it was beautiful and haunting.

Don’t Fear the Reaper by Stephen Graham Jones. Read My Heart is a Chainsaw first if you haven't already. The books pit Jade Daniels, a young woman with a trauma she's refusing to face head on but instead buries in an obsession with the moral logic of slasher films, against irl slashers who keep coming to town. Bonus points for wired jaw representation, aka my future.

Brotherless Night by V.V. Ganeshananthan. Set during the Sri Lankan civil war following a young Tamil woman who's caught in the middle as loved ones join the Tigers. It starts with a striking passage that you think means one thing and then comes back later in a way you don't expect that's a huge gut punch.

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez. A high fantasy story that is also a diaspora story as the characters' scattered descendants watch history play out. Dips into everyone's thoughts to create a chorus POV that's really effective. Note - incredibly gruesome. Organs, lovingly described, etc.

The Golem of Brooklyn by Adam Mansbach. A stoned art teacher accidentally creates a golem who decides his mission is to stop an upcoming alt right rally. Explores the interactions between the old world and the new and the weight of historical trauma - every golem shares the same ancestral memory. Carries its tensions to the very last page and leaves the reader to supply the answers.

(Honorable mention to System Collapse which didn't make it into the #recently read posts, but I had a great time!)

Nonfiction shoutout to A City on Mars which sourced so many delightful space facts and gave me a lot to think about re: SF worldbuilding that is at all grounded in reality. Plus it was really funny.

[goosemixtapes]

max's january 2024 reads

fiction

Saga volumes 10 and 11 (review / review)

Band Girls by @yvesdot (erotica) (↳ what if. um. what if we were both girls. and we were indie musicians and um. looks at you with my big wet eyes)

Claim the Dead by @avi-why (↳ one of my favorite avi stories of all time let's go weird trans people let's go zombies!!!)

Brotherless Night by V. V. Ganeshananthan (review)

read another chunk of A Storm of Swords

started Robert Graves' I, Claudius

started my Stone Butch Blues reread :3

nonfiction

finished Down Girl by Kate Manne (review)

Who Was Barbie? (↳ a compendium of thoughts about the barbie movie and its place in pop culture)

The Pain Scale by Eula Bliss (↳ no idea what to say about this one it just bowled me over)

The Great White Bard by Karah Farim-Cooper (review)

James Baldwin's Nobody Knows My Name (review)

the third, fourth, and fifth Philippics of Cicero

necessary scenes by Brandon Taylor (↳ on morality in fiction and what's "necessary" to show on page)

i also started reading through Charlie Squire's archive; my favorite posts so far are On Sensitivity, Sadness, and Noticing Things; Reflections on a Starved Decade (ed tw); and Love in the Time of True Crime Podcasts (on prison abolition and living in a violent world)

videos

i am six episodes deep in dropout's burrow's end and going insane

[lilianeruyters]

V.V. Ganeshananthan || Brotherless Night

Shortlist 2024 Brotherless Night has two protagonists: main character Sashi and the civil war that torments Sri Lanka. Through Sashi, Ganeshananthan confronts her readers with the process of ending up in civil war and with the atrocities that go along with it. At some points Brotherless Night is harsh, at other points the love of Sashi for her family and friends lightens up the plot. Sashi is…

[kummatty]

books available at my local library;

the last pomegranate, bachtyar ali

names for light: a family history, thirii myo kyaw myint

disorientation, elaine hsieh chou

palestine +100, ed. basma ghalayini

blackouts, justin torres

hangman, maya binyam

brotherless night, v. v. ganeshananthan

tremor, teju cole

[girleboy]

ok 2024 tbr:

big swiss (currently reading but it counts)

the secret history (reread)

james (booker shortlist)

held (booker shortlist)

orbital (booker shortlist)

creation lake (booker shortlist)

the safekeep (booker shortlist)

stone yard devotional (booker shortlist)

the wren the wren (women's shortlist)

brotherless night (women's shortlist/winner)

river east river west (women's shortlist)

the way this is so many books and it's like barely a third of what's left of my goodreads goal because i haven't read anything. god help me. i think i basically have to read a book every two days to make it at this rate

[thedosianexplorer]

1 for each, for Evaine Hawke!

ahahahahahaha yes enable me with the DAII brainrot, it only strengthens me <3

Rest under the cut!

Eros 1: Is your OC romantic in the traditional sense? Do they enjoy giving or receiving gifts of flowers or confectionery? Or are there other courtship traditions from their culture of origin that are important to them?

She would give it a try if she were more inclined to spend money on ‘frivolous’ things. Evie has a hard time remembering that she has Money now because most of it exists on pieces of paper Varric wrote up and sent somewhere important and poverty habits are hard to break. She wouldn’t ask for flowers or chocolate, though she can get some on the cheap. She’s pretty sure she owns part of a bakery, either that or she always gets free pastry there because she smuggled some Orlesian caster sugar or something to them back in the day. When she was poor in Ferelden she could pick flowers in a field and give them to someone special to remember her by. Gifts of flowers are too much like a goodbye for her since she moved so often. Now that she’s rich in Kirkwall (allegedly, according to Varric) it seems absurd to spend gold on fleeting gifts when she could get Fenris something he actually needs. If she’s going to give him a bundle of plants it’s going to be in the form of a healing potion because the jackass (affectionate) ran headlong into danger again.

When not chucking elfroot and spindleweed concoctions in Fenris’s direction, she prefers to spend her time with him, rather than her coin.

Philia 1: Does your OC have a Best Friend? If they do then how long have they known each other and how did they meet? If they don't then do they have a close group of friends they love equally? Or are they more of a loner?

Evie has heard the story of how famed author Varric Tethras met the Champion of Kirkwall, boldly pinning a pickpocket to the wall and offering the job that changed it all, but that isn’t how Evie met her best friend. Sure, something like that happened but back then he was a dwarf with a job, like many other Carta affiliates Evie knew. Things changed the first time they met up at the Hanged Man. Against her better judgment Evie opened up for the first time about coming to Kirkwall and losing Bethany. Against his better judgment Varric told her about his parents. Brothers were always a sore subject but easier acknowledged with pints of genuinely terrible ale. When the Hawke estate had been won but ownership tied up in legal proceedings and Gamlen’s apartment became too stale and resentful and cramped, Varric let her stay with him in the Hanged Man. She wouldn’t let him pay for a room of her own; she was saving up for that expedition and she didn’t want another expense on her ledger. She slept on the floor and better than she ever had at Gamlen’s. She never stayed a night there again. Months later she walked back into the Hanged Man, brotherless with the last of the lyrium-dusted mud in her boots and her mother’s sobs ringing in her ears. She could have left then with enough money to buy a house in Denerim, but she went to Varric’s room instead. What they talked about in the ensuing weeks stayed between them but his place in her heart was secured.

Storge 1: Did your OC's parents love them unconditionally? If so then has this helped them feel confident as an adult? If not then how has this affected them? What were the conditions their family attached to their relationship?

The Hawkes loved each other, and they loved their eldest daughter very much. They only had each other on the road and a limited network of trusted folk who helped them move around the country. They had to be everything for each other and sometimes that meant the twins needed a mother when Leandra and Malcolm worked in the fields. Sometimes Leandra needed a friend and Malcolm an accomplice. Leandra loved her eldest daughter so much she taught her how to keep her face calm in the Chantry and on the street, how to ingratiate, how to lie, especially since the twins were too young and she already had such a talent for it. Malcolm loved his eldest daughter so much he taught her how to make a fire, how to whistle up a wind, how to suddenly make a pursuer’s footsteps as heavy as lead. Most importantly, he taught her to spot silver-and-blue armor, and with it the face of the Rivaini man whose arrival in Denerim heralded their flight from the city. Wardens are more trouble than they’re worth and their affairs too dangerous for a family of apostates.

Others would say that keeping one mage child, let alone two, was the height of folly. Templars could as soon cut down an entire family harboring apostates to prevent possession as they could take everything- children, gold, horses- in exchange for Andraste’s mercy. But Malcolm and Leandra loved their eldest daughter, and because of that love they were sure to impress on Evie how important it was that she never, ever prove those people right.

Agape 1: Does your OC wish to make the world a better place? How far do they see that as being their responsibility? What lengths would they go to in order to help achieve this?

Evie is the definition of “introvirtuous”: someone who would rather be home drinking tea and working on a hobby but instead is patching a broken city back together one chipped piece of masonry at a time because no one else could be arsed apparently. She wants to live in a world where people can worship as they choose (or don’t), and being a Fereldan born with magic doesn’t mean being consigned to legal slavery* and she doesn’t have to worry about her friends’ lives every waking minute. Unfortunately that’s going to involve sacrificing her home, health, and too many lives that aren’t her own. After a life on the run she might go down swinging but she has to try.

*the Chantry takes control of properties owned by mages, controls their reproductive freedom, restricts their movements, profits off their unpaid labor by creating a group of lobotomized magic specialists to enchant goods for wealthy donors, and can force them into battle for the interests of Church and State. Don’t know what the fuck else to call it honestly.

Ludus 1: Does your OC have any particular favourite chat up lines? If not for themselves then perhaps ones they have suggested to a friend? How effective do these tend to be?

Does meeting your future husband while on the drunker side of tipsy and then yelling, “FUCK!” really loud when he rips a man’s heart out of his chest count? Isabela thinks it’s the best line she’s heard actually, since it gets the point across in a single word.

Evie disagrees. As far as she’s concerned pick-up lines are not for her, but she does enjoy workshopping lines with Varric and the rest of the gang. Prospective lines (ranging from ambitious to crude to outright grotesque) are jotted down on parchment, folded up, and then Varric’s victims friends and trusted quality control team take turns drawing one and delivering it with utmost sincerity (first to laugh buys the next round) to the judges, Varric and Isabela. Winner is whoever goes the longest without cracking up and they gets to decide which line makes it into a future Varric Tethras novel. Evie is extremely pleased with herself for the hard work and sacrifice it took to ensure Varric had to employ the phrase, “blubbering tumescence” in Swords and Shields.

Pragma 1: Is your OC in a committed long-term relationship (or relationships)? If so then what has contributed to this relationship lasting so well? If they are not in such a relationship, then is this something that saddens them or which they regret?

Evie met Fenris when she thought her days of running were behind her. She took to him immediately, well, after the initial surprise (see above). He wasn’t happy to see a mage extending a helping hand but then he didn’t turn her over to the Templars, so she decided to keep an eye on her soon-to-be neighbor in Hightown. If slavers were operating openly in what was again her family home then he’d need all the help he could get. He was tired of running, and Evie found herself looking at Kirkwall in a new light. If she was going to encourage him to make a home for himself here then she would have to take her own advice. Somewhere between surviving the Deep Roads, staking out potential hide-outs, and cleaning out the corpses of his new home, she made a friend. That friendship balanced on the simple truth that they looked out for each other. Some years after weathering every heartbreak Kirkwall heaped on it (with plenty of help from both of them), the jagged edges smoothed out into a love they took with them on the road.

Philautia 1: Does your OC have a healthy sense of their own worth and value? Or do they see themselves as failing to live up to their original potential? Perhaps they are convinced of their own sinful or inadequate nature?

Evie’s family and the overwhelming Chantry presence in Southern Thedas raced neck-and-neck to see which group could fuck up Evie’s self-worth the fastest. That’s how it feels at least. Growing up an apostate meant that the only “potential” discussed in conversations too easy to overhear was the potential for disaster. Her father shared the burden with his daughters at best he could but while Bethany prayed for the Maker to remove a curse, Evie was thankful for a connection to the world around her she couldn’t imagine being without. Not being sorry for it in a society that wanted her freedom in apology left her with a broken pride. When Evie is at her most depressed the currents of those past conversations drag her down. It’s hard sharing her achievements with the empty chairs at the table.