#Bro has many flavours of spectrum too

[babyblankyerror]

Undiagnosed

[wykedtrolls]

a dissertation nobody asked for, ft. my dysphoric trans ass (on the subject of truscum, cisgender medicine, and stupid assholes)

BOY HOWDY DID THIS GET LONG

I know that nobody asked for this post, and definitely nobody needed it, but you know what? Fuck it. You’re getting this post anyway.

Very recently someone in the community outed himself (himself, because I’m aware that he uses he/him pronouns and am not a piece of shit who will misgender someone under guise of offering anonymity. Cough cough.) as a transmedicalist. A truscum, if you will, because we all know that they mean the same thing and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is a bitchcoward and a bigot.

Very disappointing, yes, considering the amount of transgender people* I know exist in this community, myself included. Disappointing, frightening, and rage-inducing. Particularly because this revelation followed an encounter said truscum had with a close friend of mine. Which I admit might make me a little biased but shhh. Neither me nor my friend(s) started this. The contents of that conversation had between the truscum and my bro should have been handled privately like an adult but- hey, since we’re putting all this shit out there now, guess I get to put in my two cents! Awesome!

And because we apparently like to bring science into shit, let’s get a lil scientific up in this bitch.

*Note: transgender from here on will be used to refer to as the umbrella of non-cis gender identities just for context and ease of reference. And also because that’s what it is, fuck off.

So, guys. Let’s talk about dysphoria.

PART 1. SEMANTICS

Dysphoria. Most of you have heard of it, particularly those among us (both within and outside of the fantroll community) who happen to be transgender.

But what does it actually mean? Let’s look a little closer. Dysphoria, as defined by Merriam-Webster:

dysphoria (noun)

dys·​pho·​ria | \ dis-ˈfȯr-ē-ə  \

Definition of dysphoria

: a state of feeling very unhappy, uneasy, or dissatisfied

— see GENDER DYSPHORIA

But this is just semantics. Let’s look at it, and gender oriented dysphoria in particular from a mental health perspective-

“Gender dysphoria is the feeling of discomfort or distress that might accompany a difference between gender identity, sex assigned at birth or sex-related physical characteristics. This type of distress doesn't affect everyone who is transgender.

Gender dysphoria is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), a manual published by the American Psychiatric Association to diagnose mental conditions. Gender dysphoria is a diagnosis that is given to individuals who are experiencing discomfort or distress due to the difference between gender identity, sex assigned at birth or sex-related physical characteristics.”

This is from the Mayo Clinic, a nonprofit academic medical center based in Rochester, Minnesota, lauded as the best hospital in the nation for 2018-2019 by the U.S News and World Report. Do with that information what you will, but most would consider the Mayo Clinic (while not a good replacement for proper doctor’s visits and medical treatment) a pretty credible health resource.

But we’ll come back to this.

For now, let’s look at another definition. That of the word ‘opinion.’

PART 2: FACTS VS. OPINIONS VS. BELIEFS VS. PREJUDICE

opinion (noun)

opin·​ion | \ ə-ˈpin-yən  \

Definition of opinion

1a : a view, judgment, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter

We asked them for their opinions about the new stadium.

b : APPROVAL, ESTEEM

I have no great opinion of his work.

2a : belief stronger than impression and less strong than positive knowledge

a person of rigid opinions

Opinions are inherently biased. It may be influenced by facts, but opinions in and of themselves are not fact. To borrow and paraphrase from Fowler, H. Ramsey. The Little, Brown Handbook. Boston: Little, Brown, 1986.:

When forming personal convictions, we often interpret factual evidence through the filter of our values, feelings, tastes, and past experiences. Hence, most statements we make in speaking and writing are assertions of fact, opinion, belief, or prejudice. The usefulness and acceptability of an assertion can be improved or diminished by the nature of the assertion, depending on which of the following categories it falls into:

A fact is verifiable. [Determinable by] ...researching the evidence. This may involve numbers, dates, testimony, etc. (Ex.: "World War II ended in 1945.") The truth of the fact is beyond argument if one can assume that measuring devices or records or memories are correct. Facts provide crucial support for the assertion of an argument. However, facts by themselves are worthless unless we put them in context, draw conclusions, and, thus, give them meaning.

An opinion is a judgment based on facts, an honest attempt to draw a reasonable conclusion from factual evidence. [Opinions are] potentially changeable--depending on how the evidence is interpreted. By themselves, opinions have little power to convince. You must always let your reader know what your evidence is and how it led you to arrive at your opinion.

Unlike an opinion, a belief is a conviction based on cultural or personal faith, morality, or values. Statements such as "Capital punishment is legalized murder" are often called "opinions" because they express viewpoints, but they are not based on facts or other evidence. They cannot be disproved or even contested in a rational or logical manner. Since beliefs are inarguable, they cannot serve as the thesis of a formal argument. (Emotional appeals can, of course, be useful if you happen to know that your audience shares those beliefs.)

Y’all get what I’m getting at, right?

Oh, but one more thing I’d like to add- And I think this one is important.

“Another kind of assertion that has no place in serious argumentation is prejudice, a half-baked opinion based on insufficient or unexamined evidence. (Ex.: "Women are bad drivers.") Unlike a belief, a prejudice is testable: it can be contested and disproved on the basis of facts. We often form prejudices or accept them from others--family, friends, the media, etc.--without questioning their meaning or testing their truth. At best, prejudices are careless oversimplifications. At worst, they reflect a narrow-minded view of the world. Most of all, they are not likely to win the confidence or agreement of your readers.”

We’ve all encountered our fair share of these sorts of prejudices, disguised as “opinions.” Because isn’t that a much sweeter word for what it is? It’s not bigotry to delegitimize the experiences of other transgender people, it’s just an opinion. Like which is the best ice cream flavour, or something equally harmless.

But when your opinion involves the dehumanization, invalidation, exclusion and harm of other people… Well, that’s not so harmless, is it?

Racism is prejudice influenced by opinions and beliefs. Transphobia is prejudice influenced by opinions and beliefs. They are not fact, they are not based in rational thinking, and in many cases they cannot be argued because these prejudices are willingly cultivated and held.

‘But, Eli!’ I know at least one truscum who may or may not be reading this might cry, ‘It’s a scientifically proven fact that transgender people need to have dysphoria to be trans!’

To which I say fuck you, this is why that isn’t true.

Let’s go back to the definition of gender dysphoria, shall we?

“Gender dysphoria is the feeling of discomfort or distress that might accompany a difference between gender identity, sex assigned at birth or sex-related physical characteristics. This type of distress doesn't affect everyone who is transgender.”

MIGHT accompany a difference between those things, and DOESN’T affect everyone who is transgender. Interesting take coming from a scientific source, right? It’s almost like transmedicalist/truscum thinking is based off prejudice, rather than opinion; much less fact.

Especially considering dysphoria wasn’t even a word we (we meaning transgender people) chose for ourselves in the first place. It was picked by the American Psychiatric Association’s board of trustees to replace the term “Gender Identity Disorder” (GID)

Disorder. A sickness. Because Western medicine, practiced primarily by cisgender people (be they medical experts or not) has never been kind to transgender people. The word doesn’t mean what transmedicalists or truscum think it does. It doesn’t make you more valid than our fellow trans siblings just because the perceptions held by you or others of what your body and gender are worth make you miserable.

Wanna read up a little more on this? Check out these links: 

THIS IS WHAT I WISH PEOPLE WHO IDENTIFY AS ‘TRUSCUM’ WOULD TRY TO UNDERSTAND. 

Not All Transgender People Have Dysphoria – And Here Are 6 Reasons Why That Matters 

Transgender People, Gender Identity and Gender Expression

PART 3: THE COMMUNITY (™)

If you’re dysphoric, my heart goes out to you. I’m dysphoric too. Dysphoric enough to transition despite the medical costs- because I was tired of feeling trapped in other people’s perceptions of me. But you know what? I love that there are transgender people who don’t feel defined by this persistent sensation of wrongness.

You shouldn’t be defined by that. Even dysphoric trans people know (or should, for the sake of their health) that your unhappiness isn’t the only thing that makes you transgender. In fact, in the least unhealthy cases, it’s only the smallest fraction of the gender experience. Being transgender and exploring your gender identity consist of a broad spectrum of emotions. The fact that some of us (US. WE are a community, and have to treat each other as such) get to snip that little fraction out of the spectrum is beautiful.

We’re made stronger by how different we all are, not weaker.

PART 4: IN CLOSING

Whether you’re dysphoric or not, whether you identify with a gender binary or not, you are worthy of celebration and validation and love. All of us have it rough- frankly speaking, cisgender people as a whole barely tolerate us even when our identities do follow the narrative most commonly accept us. It’s not our place to judge, or shun, or invalidate one another.

And as both a personal goodbye and a TL;DR to truscum who like to treat gender identity like a competition, like something you get to gatekeep and police, fuck you. Our identities are ours to decide, our experiences to forge, and if that happens to not include transitioning or dysphoria, no matter what your reasons are that doesn’t make you less valid.

Fuck you, for painting your bigotry as an opinion. Fuck you for hurting the feelings of other transgender people. And fuck you for making posts trying to paint yourself as anything other than an asshole so full of internalized transphobia and misery that you can’t look past it to respect other people and act like that’s only your opinion UWU

Anyway, trans rights.

[chocobabyporcelain]

Hey! I've been scouring through your blog and I saw that you're autistic? Would you be comfortable writing about the bros (and maybe Cindy) with an autistic s/o? If not, just say, I promise I'll understand.

Okay, while I am comfy with this, I’m also a little reluctant,because writing autistic characters, even as an autistic person isreally difficult. I’m sure you’re aware, but autism is aspectrum and it affects different people in different ways. Assomeone who’s low-spectrum, I’m going to struggle writing someonewho is high-spec. That being said, I have tried to place the S/Os at different places on the spectrum with different sensoryresponses, but I can only do so much with my experiences. I apologisein advance.Also, I know @expectogladiolus got a similar request and shedid really well with it, so check her out!

Noctis:Honestly, you could go yourentire life without telling Noctis about your autism, and youconsidered it for a while. But, no, that wouldn’t be fair. You wereso scaredto tell him, I mean, he’s the prince!He wouldn’t want to be burdened with an autistic s/o. You’d benervous to tell anyone, but telling Noct was so much scarier becausehe meant so much more to you than anyone else. Obviously, you hadnothing to worry about. Hecompletely understands having trouble in social situations and heknows it can be distressing, but he’s not at all implying he getswhat it’s like being autistic, because on that front, he knowshe’s clueless. When you tell him about your light sensitivity hestarts covering your eyes when it gets bright. He gets you a pair ofcool sunglasses and you lovethem! He thinks it’ssuper cool that you can identify where you are based solely on smell,but hates that strong smells give you headaches.

Prompto:You were very upfront withPrompto about your autism from word go. “Before this goes anyfurther, you need to know about this.” You spent almost all nighttalking, explaining the way your autism affects you, your specificsensory issues and yourhyperfixations. He asked questions and you responded, and by the endof the night, he felt as if he had a pretty solid idea of what wasokay and not okay. You quickly learned that you liked stimming withhis hands, and he loved it, honestly. He always asks if it’s okayto touch you and brings yousoft things to stim with when you seem to be getting overwhelmed,even though he sometimes brings you something that’s the wrongkind of soft (Myfellow tactile stimmers will understand).That’s not to say he doesn’t slip up sometimes, of course hedoes, it’s only natural, and you feel awful for yelling at himafterwards, but you’re always quick to apologise and he was neverreally upset to begin with.

Ignis:Ignis neverthought he’d meet a fussier eater than Noctis. Enter you. “Justpick the ham off your pizza.” The taste lingers!Hemanaged to piece together a few of your symptoms pretty early on, buthe never said anything. After all, you can’t tell if someone isautistic based off a handful of behaviours. Whenyou did get around to telling him, he simply listened and asked youas many questions as he needed to until he felt like he understoodyou a little better. One thing he couldn’t seem to wrap your headaround was why you felt the need to put everything in your mouth.That soap is blueberry scented,not flavoured.He had hoped the chewy necklace he got you would help prevent youputting things like that in your mouth. It didn’t. Although,now you had something tochew at all times, so you didn’t have to bite your fingers, whichwas a big plus.

Gladiolus:Unfortunately, Gladio had tofind out about your autism mid-shutdown. Itwas too loud, too much, and you were overwhelmed. You had your handsover your ears, whining toyourself, trying to further block out the sounds. “Hey, youalright?” Gladio put his hand on your shoulder. Whichwas a wrong move. “No, don’t touch me!” you yelled, backingaway. Gladio is in fullpanic mode because you are quite clearly in distress and he doesn’tknow how to help you. Luckily, your meltdowns don’t really lastlong and you manage to pull yourself out of it. Thetears, however, did not stop. You apologised repeatedly for yellingand for melting down in front of Gladio like that, but he insisted itwas fine, he was more worried about you.You explained everything, including why you didn’t tell him before,and Gladio was so, sounderstanding. He assured you that you had nothing to worry about. Heloves you for you.Your autism doesn’t change anything.

Cindy:Cindy has always been super protective of you, and that justincreases when she finds out about your autism. She’s alwayspatient with you, and if you need something repeated, all you have todo is ask. She gets that you hear everything,you just need a littlebit of time to process it, and she carries an extra pair of noisecancelling headphones for when things get too loud. If she can seeyou’re overwhelmed, she’ll apologise to whoever is around andexplain she needs to take you somewhere quiet for a while. Sometimes,you need her to speak for you, and that’s okay, just let her knowwhat you need to get out and she’ll put your point across for you.She’s the best atpreventing meltdowns because she knows exactly what to look for andhow to diffuse the situation. Just, Cindy for best autism girlfriend!

[aspergerexplorer]

Special interests for special people.

Which subject do I just love to talk about at length? Linguistics! Actually, maybe not... Do I actually know anything about linguistics? I like producing music. Actually, I don’t know how to do that. Actually, maybe I’ll just stick to blogging.

People with autism spectrum disorders (including my flavour, Asperger syndrome) tend to have special interests, which we can weave ourselves into and back out again in the time it takes to snap your fingers. But what exactly are they, and why are we so indecisive about them?

A small lowdown

Special interests, in terms of autism and conditions relating to it, are subjects our mind can be focused on and we can become quite passionate about, to the point where we know much a lot about them. These subjects can be very specific at times. Some special interests last forever, and others generally fade away over time. You can find a good article about it on the Wikia Autism Wiki, which has many other pieces you can delve into as well.

To help you understand a bit more, and to remind you in a roundabout way that I am human, let’s delve into one of my past special interests, which I still remember a lot about to this day.

It’s-a-me, Mario!

The Nintendo franchise, Super Mario, was a point of fixation and adoration for me when I was about nine, ten, or eleven. It all started when I was watching an old episode of the Super Mario World cartoon series on childen’s TV channel, Pop. From there, I had many Super Mario games for the Wii and for the DS. Heck, it was the driving force towards my readership of the Official Nintendo Magazine (sadly defunct now). I knew a lot of facts about the franchise, too.

Oh yeah? When was the first game released? Super Mario Bros. was released in 1985 on the Nintendo Entertainment System, or the Famicon, as it is known in Japan.

Who voices Mario in the Nintendo Wii games? That would be the marvellous Charles Martinet. What a legend.

How did Super Mario come to be? Mario technically made his first appearance as Jumpman in the classic arcade game, Donkey Kong, which saved Nintendo’s entire business. Who’s the guy? Shigeru Miyamoto, that’s who Mario’s God is.

How long, in inches, can Yoshi’s tongue extend to? Wait, what? I only really do metric measurements... I still don’t know what--

How do you expect this information to be useful? Well, I might just win a pub quiz...

I let go of the Super Mario special interest after a couple of years. I guess as I got older, I started getting into other subjects, and I simply did not find any engagement in playing the games anymore. However, I did recently buy a Mario T-shirt (which, in order to alleviate any major commercial bias, I will not be linking to), to show that the nostalgia for this time frame is still there. The next time I wear it, I’ll post a photo on this blog to show you how good it looks.

I guess, in general, interests just change over time. But though the interest in Mario lasted for some time, I remember having interests which only lasted for a number of weeks.

Graphic design was one. I was creating a few posters for a careers fair my sixth form college was running as a hobby, and I considered joining onto the A-Level Graphic Design class as of September. I met with that class’ teacher, who then gave me stuff to draw with, because drawing by hand is still something you need within the field. After drawing outside of the brief, being terrible at drawing, and feeling as if I was silently judged by the teacher who looked at my work, I decided not to follow through with my plans of being a graphic designer. Sure, I’m still thinking about making another poster for one of my college’s departments, but actually jumping into that class would be the vain of my life.

It’s getting late now, so I’ll end my post on special interests here, but if you know someone who has an autism spectrum disorder, and they seem to go on a lengthy monologue about something they consider special, keep a listening ear, even if to simply learn something interesting about a generalist topic you may consider unremarkable. Oh, and look out for the Easter eggs I’ve laden this article with (not that you’ll have to try hard).

Safe travels, my friends.