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[britishteacenter]

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[p0orbaby]

As We Plunge into the Ocean

summary: snapshots of your pregnancy journey with leah by your side

warnings: pregnancy and its potential symptoms, duh !

a/n: thank you for the request !

word count: 1.8k

-

You have to hand it to Leah, she's really leaned into this whole pregnancy thing. Not that you’re surprised. She’s always been a bit of a control freak. Actually, no, she’s a lot of a control freak. But now, it’s like she’s running drills for motherhood, and you’re the center of her training program.

Month 2: The Overprotective Phase Begins

“You’re glowing,” she tells you one morning. It’s sweet until you deduce she’s actually staring at the sweat on your upper lip. You’re clammy, nauseous, and you smell like day-old toast, but sure, you’re glowing.

Leah’s taken to hovering. She’s always been protective, but now, it’s like you’re made of glass, or maybe like you’re the last good avocado in Waitrose—precious and prone to bruising. She watches you closely, eyes narrowed, as if you might spontaneously combust into a pile of hormones and ash at any moment.

“You’re going to be late for training,” you remind her, trying to shoo her out the door with your tea bag as if you’re some sort of British Gandalf.

She glances at her watch, sighs, and then gives you that look. The one that says, I’m going to worry about you while I’m gone, so don’t do anything stupid like trip over air or suddenly decide to juggle knives.

“Don’t lift anything heavy,” she warns, pulling on her jacket, but making no move toward the door. “Or stand on anything taller than a pancake”

Close enough.

“Okay, Mum,” you say, deadpan. You’re both amused and slightly exasperated because Leah’s version of protective involves a lot of hovering and unnecessary life advice.

She kisses you on the forehead before leaving, like she’s blessing you for the day ahead. Or maybe she thinks you’ll forget how to breathe without her around. Either way, it’s oddly comforting.

When she finally leaves, you flop on the sofa, determined to enjoy the fleeting freedom before she comes home and starts fluffing your pillows like you’re an elderly Victorian woman with consumption.

-

Month 4: The Hormone-Palooza

Leah walks in from training one afternoon to find you sitting on the kitchen floor, crying over an empty jar of pickled onions. To be fair, they were really good onions. You’d eaten the last one two hours ago, and now the world feels like a cruel, onion-less void.

“What happened?” Leah asks, dropping her kit bag and rushing over like there’s been a national emergency.

“The pickled onions,” you sob, pointing dramatically at the empty jar as if it’s committed some unspeakable crime.

She stares at the jar, then at you, and you can see the mental maths she’s doing to figure out if this is worth her calling 999. But then she just nods, like she’s made peace with your hormonal breakdowns.

“I’ll get more tomorrow,” she says, like she’s promising to fetch water from a well three villages over.

You look up at her, eyes wide and wet. “Really?”

She nods. “Really. And I’ll get the sliced red ones this time”

You sniff, feeling vaguely stupid but mostly just grateful. “You’re the best”

“I know,” she says, deadpan, and helps you off the floor like you’re a drunk at a party who just tried to wrestle your reflection in the mirror.

But Leah doesn’t make fun of you for your hormone-fueled tears. She’s too busy making sure you’re okay, which is annoying and endearing in equal measure.

-

Month 6: The Nesting Madness

You wake up one morning to the sound of power tools. In your half-asleep state, you briefly consider the possibility that Leah’s decided to open a B&Q in your living room.

When you manage to roll out of bed, because rolling is now the only way you can get up, you find Leah assembling a cot in the nursery. She’s wearing a headlamp like she’s about to go spelunking. Her tongue is sticking out in concentration, and there’s a distinct air of “I watched this on YouTube once, so I’m basically an expert” about her.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” you ask, leaning against the doorway, trying not to laugh.

She pauses, mid-screw, and gives you a look. “I’m following the instructions,” she says defensively, even though the manual is open to a page that looks more like IKEA hieroglyphics than anything else.

You decide not to mention that the cot is currently upside down. Instead, you settle in to watch Leah’s one-woman DIY show. It’s honestly better than whatever’s on terrestrial right now.

After a good twenty minutes, she steps back, admiring her work. You both stare at the crib, which is somehow missing two legs but is otherwise a valiant effort.

“It’s... something,” you say diplomatically.

Leah sighs, rubbing her temples. “I’ll call my dad”

You nod. “Good idea. He’s got that handyman vibe”

She gives you a mock glare. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you didn’t help”

“I’m in charge of moral support,” you reply, patting your stomach. “And the baby’s supervising”

“Lazy,” she mutters, but there’s a smile tugging at her lips.

-

Month 8: The Belly and the Beast

By this point, your belly is so big that it has its own gravitational pull. Leah has taken to treating it like it’s a small planet she needs to orbit. You’re the sun, and she’s some overzealous moon that won’t give you any space.

“Do you need anything?” she asks for the fiftieth time that day, hovering like a helicopter parent who’s misplaced their child in a crowd.

“No,” you reply, staring at the TV, which you can barely see over your stomach.

“How about water? I could get you water. Or juice. Or something with electrolytes. Do you want electrolytes?” Leah’s pacing now, clearly itching to do something.

You eye her, bemused. “I’m fine, Leah”

“Are you sure? I could fluff your pillow, or I could—”

“Leah,” you interrupt, trying to keep a straight face, “the baby and I are okay. You don’t need to, like, feng shui the living room or whatever”

She stops pacing, looking slightly sheepish. “I’m just... I don’t know what to do with myself”

You reach out and grab her hand, pulling her to sit next to you. “You’re doing great,” you tell her, squeezing her hand. “Now, just relax. Let’s watch something. Maybe something without pregnant women, though. I can’t deal with seeing anyone else going through this”

Leah laughs, finally settling in next to you. “Deal”

Five minutes into the show, she’s already got a hand on your belly, her protective instincts kicking in even during a Netflix binge. You roll your eyes fondly but let her be. At least she’s not trying to rearrange the furniture again.

-

Month 9: The Home Stretch (Or, The Last Nerve)

Leah is a bundle of nerves, more wound up than a cat near a cucumber. It’s almost cute, except when she insists on triple-checking the hospital bag, which she’s already checked twice in the last hour.

“Leah, seriously, if you add one more onesie to that bag, it’s going to explode”

“I just want to make sure we have everything,” she mutters, rummaging through the bag as if it’s one of those cursed Hermione purses from Harry Potter.

“We have everything. And then some,” you assure her, eyeing the ludicrous pile of baby supplies that could probably last through an apocalypse.

She finally zips up the bag and sits down next to you. For a moment, there’s silence, and you think maybe, just maybe, she’s finally going to relax. But no. She starts tapping her foot, glancing at you every few seconds.

“Do you think—”

“No,” you cut her off, knowing exactly where this is going.

“But—”

“Leah,” you say firmly, “I love you, but if you ask me if I think the baby’s coming today one more time, I might actually lose it”

She opens her mouth, then closes it, looking like she’s physically restraining herself from speaking.

“I’m sorry,” she finally says, sighing. “I’m just... I’m excited and nervous and I feel like I’m waiting for a bomb to go off, but the bomb is cute and we’re going to love it and—”

“Leah,” you interrupt again, “you’re doing amazing. But you need to chill, or the baby’s going to think it’s coming out to meet a drill sergeant”

She cracks a smile at that. “Okay, okay, I’ll try to relax”

She doesn’t. But she does stop asking you if you’re in labor every fifteen minutes, so you’ll take that as a win.

-

The Grand Finale: The Delivery Room Circus

The day finally arrives. Naturally, it’s at three in the morning because why would your body ever do anything convenient? You wake Leah up by shaking her arm like you’re waking a teenager for school.

“Leah,” you say, trying to stay calm even though your insides feel like they’re being twisted into balloon animals. “It’s time”

She’s up in an instant, wide awake like she’s just heard the starting whistle at the World Cup final. She starts pacing, half-dressed, muttering about the hospital bag.

“We need to go, we need to—oh my god, where are the keys? Do we have the car seat? Should we call an ambulance? No, wait, we’re not calling an ambulance, that’s for emergencies, this is an emergency, but not that kind of emergency—”

You grab her shoulders, trying to steady her. “Leah, breathe. We’ve got time. But we do need to go”

She takes a deep breath, nodding like she’s trying to calm down a very excitable puppy. Then she’s off, running around the house like it’s an obstacle course, grabbing everything and nothing at once. You watch her in bemusement, one hand on your belly, wondering if you should tell her that she’s just thrown her shoe into the fridge.

When she finally gets it together, the drive to the hospital is an adventure in itself. Leah’s driving like she’s on her way to rob a bank, weaving through traffic and swearing under her breath at every red light.

“Leah, the baby’s not going to fall out if we don’t get there in ten minutes,” you say, trying to keep a straight face as she mutters something about the stupidly long red lights.

Finally, you make it to the hospital, where Leah practically drags you to the entrance like a deflated balloon on a string. Once inside, she’s all business, directing the nurses like she’s running a tactical operation.

The actual labour is a blur—hours of pain, and sweat, and Leah alternating between holding your hand and looking like she might faint. But she doesn’t faint. She stays with you the whole time, even when you scream at her that she’s never allowed to touch you again.

When the baby finally arrives, Leah’s expression is one of awe, relief, and sheer, overwhelming love. You’re both exhausted, but when you see her holding your baby, all of her earlier madness makes sense.

She was never just overprotective or anxious. She was just ready—ready to love, ready to care, and maybe, just maybe, ready to stop checking that bloody hospital bag.

Maybe.

Probably not.

But you love her anyway.

[fatehbaz]

About the entanglement of "science" and Empire. About geographic imaginaries. About how Empire appeals to and encourages children to participate in these scripts.

Was checking out this recent thing, from scavengedluxury's beloved series of posts looking at the archive of the Budapest Municipal Photography Company.

The caption reads: "Toys and board games, 1940."

And I think the text on the game-box in the back says something like "the whole world is yours", maybe?

(The use of appeals to science/progress in imperial narratives probably already well-known to many, especially for those familiar with Victorian era, Edwardian era, Gilded Age, early twentieth century, etc., in US and Europe.)

And was struck, because I had also recently gone looking through nemfrog's posts about the often-strange imagery of children's material in late nineteenth- and early twentieth-century US/Europe. And was disturbed/intrigued by this thing:

Caption here reads: "Game Board. Walter Mittelholzer's flight over Africa. [...] 1931. Commemorative game board map of Africa for a promotional game published for the N*stle Company, for tracking the trip of Walter Mittelholzer across Africa, the first pilot to fly a north-south route."

Hmm.

"Africa is for your consumption and pleasure! A special game celebrating German achievement, brought to you by the N*stle Company!"

1930s-era German national aspirations in Africa. A company which, in the preceding decade, had shifted focus to expand its cacao production (which would be dependent on tropical plantations). Adventure, excitement, knowledge, science, engineering prowess, etc. For kids!

Another, from a couple decades earlier, this time British.

Caption reads: "The "World's globe circler." A game board based on Nellie Bly's travels. 1890." At center, a trumpet, and a proclamation: "ALL RECORDS BROKEN".

Same year that the United States "closed the frontier" and conquered "the Wild West" (the massacre at Wounded Knee happened in December 1890). A couple years later, the US annexed Hawai'i; by decade's end, the US military was in both Cuba and the Philippines. The Scramble for Africa was taking place. At the time, Britain especially already had a culture of "travel writing" or "travel fiction" or whatever we want to call it, wherein domestic residents of the metropole back home could read about travel, tourism, expeditions, adventures, etc. on the peripheries of the Empire. Concurrent with the advent of popular novels, magazines, mass-market print media, etc. Intrepid explorers rescuing Indigenous peoples from their own backwardness. Many tales of exotic allure set in South Asia. Heroic white hunters taking down scary tigers. Elegant Englishwomen sipping tea in the shade of an umbrella, giggling at the elephants, the local customs, the strange sights. Orientalism, tropicality, othering.

I'd lately been looking at a lot of work on race/racism and imperative-of-empire in British scientific and pop-sci literature, especially involving South and Southeast Asia. (From scholars like Varun Sharma, Rohan Deb Roy, Ezra Rashkow, Jonathan Saha, Pratik Chakrabarti.) But I'd also lately been looking at Mashid Mayar's work, which I think closely suits this kinda thing with the board games. Some of her publications:

"From Tools to Toys: American Dissected Maps and Geographic Knowledge at the Turn of the Twentieth Century". In: Knowledge Landscapes North America, edited by Kloeckner et al., 2016.

"What on Earth! Slated Globes, School Geography and Imperial Pedagogy". European Journal of American Studies 16, number 3, Summer 2020.

Citizens and Rulers of the World: The American Child and the Cartographic Pedagogies of Empire, 2022.

Discussing her book, Mayar was interviewed by LA Review of Books in 2022. She says:

[Quote.] Growing up at the turn of the 20th century, for many American children, also meant learning to view the world through the lens of "home geography." [...] [T]hey inevitably responded to the transnational whims of an empire that had stretched its dominion across the globe [recent forays into Panama, Cuba, Hawai'i, the Philippines] [...]. [W]hite, well-to-do, literate American children [...] learned how to identify and imagine “homes” on the map of the world. [...] [T]he cognitive maps children developed, to which we have access through the scant archival records they left behind (i.e., geographical puzzles they designed and printed in juvenile periodicals) [...] mixed nativism and the logic of colonization with playful, appropriative scalar confusion, and an intimate, often unquestioned sense of belonging to the global expanse of an empire [...]. Dissected maps - that is, maps mounted on cardboard or wood and then cut into smaller pieces that children were to put back together - are a generative example of the ways imperial pedagogy [...] found its place outside formal education, in children's lives outside the classroom. [...] [W]ell before having been adopted as playthings in the United States, dissected maps had been designed to entertain and teach the children of King George III about the global spatial affairs of the British Empire. […] [J]uvenile periodicals of the time printed child-made geographical puzzles [...]. [I]t was their assumption that "(un)charted," non-American spaces (both inside and outside the national borders) sought legibility as potential homes, [...] and that, if they did not do so, they were bound to recede into ruin/"savagery," meaning that it would become the colonizers' responsibility/burden to "restore" them [...]. [E]mpires learn from and owe to childhood in their attempts at survival and growth over generations [...]. [These] "multigenerational power constellations" [...] survived, by making accessible pedagogical scripts that children of the white and wealthy could learn from and appropriate as times changed [...]. [End quote.] Source: Words of Mashid Mayar, as transcribed in an interviewed conducted and published by M. Buna. "Children's Maps of the American Empire: A Conversation with Mashid Mayar". LA Review of Books. 11 July 2022.

Some other stuff I was recently looking at, specifically about European (especially German) geographic imaginaries of globe-as-playground:

The Play World: Toys, Texts, and the Transatlantic German Childhood (Patricia Anne Simpson, 2020) /// "19th-Century Board Game Offers a Tour of the German Colonies" (Sarah Zabrodski, 2016) /// Advertising Empire: Race and Visual Culture in Imperial Germany (David Ciarlo, 2011) /// Learning Empire: Globalization and the German Quest for World Status, 1875-1919 (Erik Grimmer-Solem, 2019) /// “Ruling Africa: Science as Sovereignty in the German Colonial Empire and Its Aftermath” (Andrew Zimmerman. In: German Colonialism in a Global Age, 2014) /// "Exotic Education: Writing Empire for German Boys and Girls, 1884-1914". (Jeffrey Bowersox. In: German Colonialism and National Identity, 2017) /// Raising Germans in the Age of Empire: Youth and Colonial Culture, 1871-1914 (Jeff Bowersox, 2013) /// "[Translation:] (Educating Modernism: A Trade-Specific Portrait of the German Toy Industry in the Developing Mass-Market Society)" (Heike Hoffmann, PhD dissertation, Tubingen, 2000) /// Home and Harem: Nature, Gender, Empire, and the Cultures of Travel (Inderpal Grewal, 1996) /// "'Le rix d'Indochine' at the French Table: Representation of Food, Race and the Vietnamese in a Colonial-Era Board Game" (Elizabeth Collins, 2021) /// "The Beast in a Box: Playing with Empire in Early Nineteenth-Century Britain" (Romita Ray, 2006) /// Playing Oppression: The Legacy of Conquest and Empire in Colonialist Board Games (Mary Flanagan and Mikael Jakobsson, 2023)

[history-of-fashion]

1730 Charles Philips - Tea Party at Lord Harrington's House, St. James's

(Yale Center for British Art)

[faux-ecrivain]

Headcannons about Yan Emperor

(Seventeenth Official Post)

(Name is Adonis Margold)

(Links to help you; 140 Shades of Purple Color With Names, Hex, RGB, CMYK Codes - Color Meanings , 134 Shades of Green Color With Names, Hex, RGB, CMYK Codes - Color Meanings , 140 Shades of Purple Color With Names, Hex, RGB, CMYK Codes - Color Meanings , eighteenth century | British Food: A History )

He hates it when he starts sweating, it makes his body feel all sticky and uncomfortable 

He hates the color Harelquin green and despises the color Fuchsia purple, but loves the colors Chinese violet and tea green

He’s actually the son of a concubine/mistress and was quite close to his father (the late Emperor)

Despite this he has no intention of taking a concubine or mistress

His favorite food is filet mignon 

His favorite dessert is smoking bishop (a British dessert from the 18th or 19th century)

He dreams about a domestic life with you (he’s even considered adopting/having a few kids)

He hated you when he first met you

He hates the Duke so much that he has a target dummy that has the duke’s painting on it and the emperor literally rips that thing apart with his sword/arrows

He’s been through 21 failed assassination attempts on his life, 33 failed assassination attempts on his mom’s life, 14 failed assassination attempts on his dad’s life, five failed assassination attempts on his siblings and 6 successful ones (he had a lot of siblings).

He doesn’t know how to ride a horse and wants you to teach him

He sleeps with a stuffed bear at night

He has a very comfy bed and often invites (commands) you to lay with him

He doesn’t hate the peasants, but he wants nothing to do with them and do he devised a plan to just take care of their needs, so they’ll stop bothering him

He absolutely despises any and all, except you, nobles, like he cannot stand being in a room with them for long than 20 minutes

His favorite flower is the Dawnrising flower, it only blooms at Dawn and he loves the way it looks. 

It comes in two shades, one has a yellow center which fades into orange at the beginning of the petals which then fades into a light red and has splashes of light blue in it, and the tips of the petal are a dark shade of pink

The second version has a dark shade of purple center that fades into a light purple near the edges, then it fades into a pink as the petals bloom and the tips are a shade of blue

Although, Dawnrising flowers are quite rare and he’s only found a handful, all of which he’s kept alive and taken wonderful care of them

He doesn’t actually want to be the Emperor, but he’s the only one left in his blood line and he’s not one to forsake responsibility 

He adores cute fuzzy animals and has a pet cat (it’s a tiger), it’s quite big though and has to be kept outside

Many women have tried to win the Emperor’s heart, but he has turned them away and will continue to do so. 

This has caused speculation about the Emperor’s sexuality, some assume he’s into guys, but the truth is he doesn’t care about the gender as long as they have a respectable personality (also he just really wants to marry you)

He’s a very good dancer and favors the tango

When it comes to cuddles, he prefers to wrap his arms around whomever he’s cuddling and then lay on top of them (no idea why, of course this doesn’t mean he’s against being the little spoon when cuddled)

He gets bored rather easily and gets irritated just as quick

Despite his friendly personality, he’s actually quite cruel and temperamental. If someone bugs him too much or resists him too often, he’ll lash out and severely punish them

If the person he loves doesn’t reciprocate then he’ll wait a little for them to come to their sense, but if it takes too long then he’s not above kidnapping and murder

He has a reputation for being a monster on the battlefield, it’s said that he’s killed entire armies of opposing forces before (of course, his reputation could never live up to yours, you’ve got far more experience in battle then him)

He has a thing for really strong people and if the person he’s perusing has some muscles, well, let’s just say they should expect an onslaught of perversion and flirtatious remarks/touches 

Although, if the one he loves Isn’t particularly strong, he doesn’t mind and will still love him

His favorite color is Liserian Pink

He likes watching the middle class performers do plays, actually he likes to watch plays in general and operas

He’s visited many places on Ilasatra and his favorite place to visit is Rais (the equivalent of china in this world)

He’s enjoys learning about other cultures and heritages, his own is a bit messy and he doesn’t like thinking about it

He hates his grandfather and doesn’t care for his grandmother 

He never really cared for his siblings, except for a little boy named Frederick those two were quite close and up until little Fred died (at the age of twelve) Adonis spent a lot of time with him

He likes to read books on myths, particularly Terres myths (equivalent of Greek myths in this world)

He has a journal that he uses to write down every dream, every thought and everything about you, actually he has many, many journals. :)

(Hope you enjoy this and don’t forget to reblog/comment!)

(Also, please send in some asks/requests about my characters, I’m happy to answer them and it’ll give me the motivation necessary to continue posting!)

[louisupdates]

[Translated from Spanish to English]

British singer-songwriter Louis Tomlinson is ready for his first performance in Panama, on May 2 at the Amador Convention Center and for after the show he requested a margarita pizza and another combination of meats (pepperoni, chicken and chorizo).

In addition, among his requests he highlights that he does not want any food with peas, he prefers tomato paste with and without chicken or beef lasagna.

For the dressing room, the interpreter of "Bigger than me" asked for vodka, energy drinks, sodas, black tea, coffee, milk, chocolate bars, assorted cereals, a package of ibuprofen and paracetamol, among other items, available.

The former member of the band One Direction brings to the country his "Faith in The Future World Tour", a tour with which he has toured Europe and the United States and whose name comes from his second studio album, released in November 2022.

From Magic Dreams, the company that organizes the show, they confirm that Némula will be presented in Panama, the electro pop singer who stands out for his distinctive sound and perceptual aesthetic, merging organic instruments with electronic music.

In addition, the organizers of the Louis Tomlinson show assured that there are still tickets available at www.panatickets.com.

[Article about Louis’ tour riders for the Panama venue.]

[infiniteimaginings]

hello, good afternoon. Forgive my English, it's not my language so I use a translator. I would love a romantic story between Monty Montgomery with a male reader who also loves reptiles (especially snakes). It could be with a happy ending, with Monty and the male reader taking care of the Baudelaire brothers. thanks in advance 🤗

Caretakers (Monty Montgomery x Male!Reader)

Summary: You and your husband meet the Baudelaire children and take care of them! Pronouns: You/Yours, He/Him Warnings: None Word Count: 2.3k A/N: This is just sweet, I promise. Thank you for requesting. lots of love! <33

The Baudelaire children Violet, Klaus, and Sunny were all taken to their new caretaker's home by the banker Mr. Poe. They were quite wary of their new caretaker as their previous one, Count Ola, had only been chosen through manipulation in order to steal all of their fortune that their parents left for them. All they new about this new caretaker is that his name was Dr. Montgomery Mongomery and that he was their father’s cousin's wife's brother.

As the old styled, baby blue car pulled into gates, Violet looked out the window, Sunny in her lap securely. She saw the clouds of white in the great blue sky, different from where they last stayed. The sky had been gray, dark, as if the area had not seen light for years.

Violet's brother, Klaus, did the same as she did, looking out the window. Once his eyes gazed to peer out the old car window he was met with lucious green shrubs in the shapes of reptiles. The designed lawn simply continued so the boy shifted to look out the front windshield, VIolet noticing and doing the same.

The three Baudelaire children observed a large stone house they were getting close to, the driveway was quite long, and they passed by beautiful shrubs and a large center piece of green and flowers. The exterior of the home only made the children smile, though they did, they still didn’t get their hopes up. They didn’t know who Dr.Mongomery was, they didn’t know how he acted, or what he would do with them.

Mr. Poe parked in front of the few steps at the front of the car, exiting the vehicle. He gestured for the children to do the same, to which they did.

The four of them walked up the steps and Mr. Poe rang the doorbell, mouth covered with his handkerchief to cover up his cough. The doorbell was ever so loud, ringing in their heads in an echo, Klaus’s hands came to Sunnys head to muffle it for the baby who babbled about the doorbell being unpleasant and deafening.

They stood at the front door for a moment, no one coming to open the door quite yet. Before Mr. Poe got the chance to ring the blaring doorbell again, the brown, wooden front door opened.

When it opened completely they were met with the sight of a man. He was slightly short, he had slightly dark skin, black hair, brown eyes, and a mustache that looked like squiggles at the ends. He had a wide smile and light in his eyes when he took notice of the children, barely paying mind to Mr. Poe other than a friendly nod.

His energy was warm, bright, very different from Count Olaf. When the door opened the scene of cookies and tea filled their senses, and they weren’t even in the home yet. The Baudelaires couldn’t help the hopeful smiles that etched onto their expressions, sighing out a breath of relief to such a kind looking man.

From the way Mr. Poe wasn’t concerned at the sight of him, the children assumed this was Dr. Montgomery. He nodded at a thought he had, “Hello hello hello! You must be the Baudelaires!” He spoke with a seemingly British accent. He was welcoming, his teeth showing as he made silly faces to Sunny who giggled.

Mr. Poe nodded and responded with a ‘yes’, the man in the doorway nodded as the answer, standing straight, showing more of his striped button up. “This is perfect timing, because my husband has just finished frosting this delicious coconut cream cake.” He explained, turning and grabbing forks, telling everyone to take one as he walked into the house.

Everyone followed him, looking around. The entryway had burgundy carpet, a stained-glass light fixture on the ceiling. It was a large entry room and had a grand staircase that led to the second floor.

Violet sniffed the air, smelling the baked goods with a smile. She looked to Klaus who had the same look on his face, everything seemed nice so far. She moved her hair behind her shoulder, “Thank you, Dr. Montgomery.” She spoke, following behind him to wherever he was walking, Sunny on her side in her arms.

Dr. Montgomery turned, shaking his finger with a grin, “Please, call me Monty!” He suggested, opening his mouth to say something more.

“He doesn’t like fancy titles unless they get him a discount at the movies.” A voice said from behind Monty, interrupting him. When the man turned around his eyes softened, at the sight of you. His smile turned from excited to gentle and he walked over to you as you emerged from what seemed to be the kitchen. He wrapped his arm around your waist, kissing your temple softly. You held up a plate of cake since your husband's arms were around you. He continued to hold your waist as he turned to the children, “He’s right." He spoke quietly before turning his attention back to the children, "Do you like going to the movies?” He asked the three who nodded.

The conversation didn’t go much further into that topic other than the promise that they would go a lot. Monty introduced you to the Buadelaires who said their Hellos, you offered them pieces of coconut cream cake.

“You must be Violet, the inventor.” You spoke, handing her a piece of cake to which she took with a smile. Monty unraveled himself from your side, taking a different slice to give to Klaus, “And you are Klaus, the reader.” He hummed and Klaus nodded, taking the cake gently.

You looked at the baby in Violet's arms and offered a piece of cake, “And you must be Sunny, would you like some cake?” You asked but Klaus answered for the baby.

“My sister prefers very hard food.”

The answer was unusual and strange but it wasn’t strange enough for the couple standing in front of them.

Monty nodded, “That’s unusual for a baby, not so for many snakes. Perhaps Sunny would prefer a raw carrot?” He offered and the baby happily took it, munching on it as everyone continued to converse.

There was another piece of cake left that you offered to Mr. Poe who politely declined, saying he should get going. You smiled at him and walked to the kitchen, placing the rest of the cake into the kitchen. “There are plenty of treats, drinks, and snacks in the kitchen whenever you all want some.” You hummed to them and the Baudelaires thanked you quietly. They were polite, but they seemed nervous, you understood that quite well.

Mr. Poe was telling the Baudelaires how they could call him if they needed anything as you walked back in but Monty interrupted him with a genuine smile, “They won’t need anything from you, they are in our care now and we will dedicate ourselves to them.” He spoke, his tone was kind enough, but the implication that Poe had thought they would not be taken care of seemed to have irked him.

Klaus noticed this and quickly spoke up, “Our parents' fortune can't be used until Violet comes of age.”

The comment surprised the two of you, you furrowed your brows in confusion, looking at Monty. He frowned at you, putting a hand on your shoulder, “I understand you all have been through a lot with your previous caretaker.” He spoke softly, eyes showing truth to his words. You nodded, “But, we don’t care about your parents fortune.” You explained to them, the comment made the three a bit skeptical.

You walked to them, crouching down a bit to be leveled with them, “We do not need your fortune, we only care that you all are safe, and feel cared for.” You continued on, your smile was sad, as were your eyes but you were genuine.

The Baudelaires seemed visibly relaxed at your words and that was enough for you to back away from them.

Mr. Poe had noticed it was time for him to leave and Monty hastily rushed him out of the home until the door was closed. “Apologies if I seemed rude to the…banker.” He spoke, stopping himself from rolling his eyes. “He just strikes a small nerve with me, he was the reason you were placed with that-” He was going to continue to speak until he noticed the look on your face. A look he was familiar with, a look that said ‘be quiet’, and he did.

The older two followed his gaze to your hard look that softened when they looked at you. You clapped your hands, “How about we show you all to some rooms and you guys can decide which rooms you would like to stay in?” You offered, the idea made everyone in the room nod and follow you. Monty gently whispered to the group as you walked up the stairs, “Some of the rooms have his touch in them, he really wanted you all to like it here.” He told them, rushing up the stairs to catch up. Violet and Klaus walked up with them, a bit excited. Sunny bobbled along in Violet's arms, curious to see what was in store as well.

The day went on with you and Monty showing the children to their rooms, feeding them, showing them pictures, giving them a tour, and telling them stories. The two of you answered any questions the Baudelaires had for them. They asked anything along the lines of how did you guys know their parents, how you guys met, and what you do for work.

You two happily explained your line of work had to do with reptiles, but more excitedly for the two of you, snakes. The two of you were Herpetologists and met while doing fieldwork to study an extremely venomous snake.

“What kind of snake?” Klaus asked, looking through some of the study books through the reptile room his new caretakers were showing him and his siblings.

Your eyes lit up at the question, “The saw-scaled viper.” You answered quickly, standing in the middle of the room, keeping your eyes on Violet who was near the cages, and Sunny who was on the table near Monty.

Monty nodded, “It’s one of the deadliest snakes found in the middle east.” He explained, showing Sunny some images of snakes as he gave her another carrot.

Violet's fingers ran along the metal of the cage, a bit of her was fearful of grazing the scales of the snake. You noticed her fear and reassured her, “None of the snakes in cages with metal bars are venomous, especially not that one.” You told her, walking over to the area. “This one is an african egg eating snake.” You explained, opening the cage, but looking at her before you opened it any wider.

Violet gave you a nervous look but you assured her with a nod that it was okay. She eventually took a deep breath and let you take the snake out the cage. It wrapped around your hand and you held the head gently, showing her that the snake had no fangs. “She only eats eggs, she’s no bark and no bite, I promise.” You told her and she smiled as she observed the reptile.

After a while in the reptile room the Baudelaires all washed up and headed to bed. You and Monty said goodnight to each of the Buadelaires together, telling them that they could come eat and come get one of you whenever they needed something.

After putting them to sleep, you and Monty went downstairs to eat the last slice of cake.

After a bit of silence you suddenly started chuckling and Monty looked up at you with a raised brow, “What is it?” He asked you, chewing at the cake. You shook your head, “You looked terrified.” You told him, laughing a little louder before clasping your hand over your mouth as to not wake the children.

Monty looked at you bewildered, eyes wide as he swallowed his cake harshly. “You could tell?” He asked, his body deflating. He was now completely leaning on the counter and you laughed even more, rubbing his shoulder. “Of course I could, they couldn’t though, believe me.” You explained to him and he just looked up at you with nervousness in his eyes. You rubbed your hand in circles from his shoulder to his back, “They were nervous too, don’t worry.”

Monty sighed, puffing air out of his cheeks as he slowly slid to the ground, you sitting next to him when you noticed what he was doing. “I just want them to feel safe, I mean Olaf just…” He trailed off, putting his face in his hands. You put your head on his shoulder, holding his hand to remove it from his face. “They will be safe, I know we haven’t taken care of actual children before but…” You began, sighing with a smile, “I know we’ll make them feel safe and happy.” You told him quietly.

He turned his head to you, moving your noses together, “How are you always so right and amazing?” He asked you, his brown eyes looking deeply into yours. You smiled at him, rolling his eyes, “Well one of us has to be.” You teased, he laughed a bit at your words. He moved forward, pressing the two of your lips together gently in a gentle kiss that tasted of coconut cream pie and lemonade from earlier.

Through the silence and soft kisses, the two of you didn’t hear the sound of footsteps retreating back up the stairs. Klaus and Violet, who was holding Sunny, were smiling at each other in their pajamas. They wanted to look around a bit, curious to see if the two of you were genuine in your intentions but that was all they needed.

Violet put Sunny back to sleep in her room, closing the door quietly, face to face with Klaus. Klaus adjusted his glasses, “I think this will be good for us.” He spoke in a hushed whisper, Violet nodded. “They’re nice.” She spoke with a grin and Klaus was the one who nodded this time.

The two walked to their respective room doors, opening them slightly.

“Goodnight Violet.”

“Goodnight Klaus.”

For the first time since their parents died, they were excited to wake up the next morning. Almost too excited to go to sleep once they reached their beds, smiles hurting their cheeks. This would be good for them, to live with the uncles who were happy together. Maybe the Baudelaires could be just as happy with them.

[todaysdocument]

“Air Surgeons recommendation that medicinal whiskey be made available all theatres of operation for the issue to Army Air Forces Combat crew members upon their return from serial combat missions or operations, is concurred in.” August 19, 1943.

Record Group 492: Records of Mediterranean Theater of Operations, United States Army

Series: Formerly Security Classified General Correspondence

File Unit: SECT 435, Coffee, Tea, Beverages, Drinks

Transcription:

Equals British Secret

Confidential

War Departement

Cmassified message center

AFHQ

Incoming message

War

filed 100233Z

AFSC N314/10

100732B

cjr

PRIORITY

FROM: AGWAR

TO: FREEDOM TO KIRK TO CARROLL, COX, KING, HAWLEY, SAMS,

TAMRAZ, MOORE, BLESSIE, MAXWELL

NO: 4590, August 1943

Air Surgeons recommendation that medicinal whiskey be made available all theatres of operation for the issue to Army Air Forces Combat crew members upon their return from serial combat missions or operations, is concurred in. Quantity required should be procured locally if possible, if not available locally, timely requisitions should be initiated if needs to be supplied from here. Forward immediately estimate of quantity required next 6 months.

ACTION: SURGEON

INFORMATION: SGS

NAAF

NAASC

DTC

RECORDS

MC IN 4536 10 AUG 43 1004B Ref No: 4590 jc

Equals British Secret

Confidential [crossed]  Copy No. 12

The making of an exact copy of this message is forbidden

Regraded unclassified [stamp]

Order Sec Army by Tag per 60512 [stamp]

[phightingheadcanons]

-overseers wears a sticky note over their eye because they only have one and they dont want to “be weird”

-ironically they’re uncomfortable with people they don’t know (basically jst people outside of the cult) staring at them too long

-they commit arson and cannibalism

-overseer strictly does not allow kids to be sacrificed since first of all they don’t have enough energy to be an actual sacrifice so you need 2-3 of them, and that’s just rude

-I saw a hc that scythe just brings the kids with interesting horns to the church, overseer just sends them to a random adoption center god knows where

-they think broker looks a bit deformed but they dont care . even tho katana left the cult they think he looks deformed too

-broker isn’t dead yet since overseer protects him from dying cause like. no one in that family is dying by mortals unless they say so

-since medkit is extremely British, they sneak in packets of tea into his house

.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

If the rumored Met Gala drop did indeed happen in 2018, right before the wedding, then the (rumored) Givenchy dressing room incident could have also been why. No way Anna wouldn’t have heard about that quickly.

I hadn't even thought of that!

Yes, absolutely, 100%. Anna Wintour knows everyone and she absolutely would've heard about what went down at Givenchy. Edward Enninful too. And now that you mention it, I wonder if others in British fashion also heard about it and that may have affected who sent clothes to Meghan. I imagine so - fashion is a small world too. But how many of them believed Meghan when she said it was just wedding stress and she's not really like that. We know Enninful got somehow duped, since he looked pretty chummy with her in all the behind-the-scenes stuff for the September edition she did.

Anyway. For all the new-to-royal watching anons (and a refresher for everyone else!), this is is the the lowdown on the "Givenchy incident."

In November 2018, Camilla Tominey/The Telegraph published a story that Meghan made Kate cry during the bridesmaid fittings. (This is the original article, behind a paywall; I'll post excerpts below the cut. This is the Daily Mail's version of it.)

In March 2021, Oprah asked about this incident in the interview and Meghan revealed that "the reverse happened"; that Kate had made Meghan cry. Later on social media, Camilla doubled down on her sources that it was Meghan who made Kate cry.

About two weeks after oprah, Empress received the original Givenchy tea about Meghan's beyond-bridezilla behavior for the wedding. (Also, this is the post we're referring to by "Givenchy Anon" or "Givenchy tea".)

In July 2022, Tom Bower confirmed the bridezilla behavior and the bridesmaid dress fitting incidents in Revenge. Here is the Daily Mail's report.

In January 2023, Harry wrote about the bridesmaid dress fitting in Spare. This the Daily Mail's article about Harry's version of events. Camilla Tominey again doubled down on her sources via social media. (Also around this time, there was a rumor that Camilla had seen the actual text messages of Meghan gloating that she had made Kate cry and when Kate came to apologize, Meghan had slammed the door in her face after taking the flowers.)

Then the Daily Mail tracked down the tailor who's at the center of the bridesmaid dress fitting r2ow. That story is here. (Here is the exclusive behind-the-paywall version, which was the first story written about the tailor.)

Then in December, Sassy got some follow-up tea about Meghan's behavior around the wedding. The wedding tea is about 2/3s of the way down.

Kate and Meghan: Is the royal sisterhood really at breaking point? by Camilla Tominey, 26 Nov 2018

It was only a matter of time before all eyes would be on Kate and Meghan and how well they did – or didn’t – get on. The royal sisterhood has not been under this much scrutiny since a young Princess Diana and an excitable Fergie joined the household in the Eighties.

But the talk of a growing froideur between Kate and Meghan really ramped up following rumours of an apparent falling out between the pair in the run up to the Sussexes’ wedding in May. The Telegraph has spoken to two separate sources who claim Kate was left in tears following a bridesmaids dress fitting for Princess Charlotte. “Kate had only just given birth to Prince Louis and was feeling quite emotional,” said one insider. The incident happened around the time Meghan was reported to have also “upset” the Queen by asking to wear an emerald tiara instead of the one offered by the 92-year-old monarch. It came after a book by veteran royal journalist Robert Jobson described Harry as “petulant and short-tempered” in the build up to the Windsor Castle wedding. He allegedly told staff with a raised voice: “What Meghan wants, Meghan gets” and when reports reached the Queen, she asked to see her grandson privately and “put him firmly in his place”, Mr Jobson wrote. Rumours of any lingering ill feeling between the Queen and Meghan appear wide of the mark, however. The two women, who share a love of dogs, enjoyed each other’s company at their first solo engagement together in Cheshire in June - even if Meghan did inadvertently break protocol by not wearing a hat. And earlier this month the Queen entrusted Meghan to “look after” Elke Budenbender, wife of the German president during the Remembrance commemorations in a move which saw her separated from the Duchess of Cambridge who was on an adjacent balcony with the Queen and the Duchess of Cornwall. Despite being welcomed into the family fold, the attitude “below stairs” has apparently not been universally positive, with some giving the relationship “five years”. 

[jaeedraszaerysz]

JOHNNY, BAM, STEVE-O, CHRIS AND RYAN WITH A NORTHERN ENGLISH S/O

Notes: this might have some more teesside oriented aspects so I apologise and I try to keep it as neutral as possible while still writing decent shit ✨️

Warnings: swearing, injury (obv u fuckin dumbass), sexual references??

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Will 100% dress up in a suit and take you to a fancy ass restaurant while working his shittiest English accent

Got confused as fuck when you started using any slang/roadman terms

Defos uses words wrong

Went round calling everyone wanker for a full day

Thought chav was a fucking food at first defos

LOVES HEARING U SPEAK

will listen to u chat for hours

MY DAYS HES OBSESSED

So let's say jackass came to England yea

And u went up north to visit ur mates and stuff yea

Wouldn't understand a fuckin thing u was on about if u were talking to your mates

Thought a parmo was a sex move and was GOBSMACKED

He defos went to a pub with u and the guys and they got the piss ripped of them by a bunch of sweaty geezas in their 50s 😭

Take him to any beach and you will 100% have to restrain him from jumping of the end of a pier into a bunch of rocks

Caught onto u saying innit so much and now says it unironically and the guys have a laugh taking the mick out of him

Poor sod

But he's devoted to you

Defos would make roadman and chav skits w u outside a maccies or a tesco extra

BAM MARGERA

Asking if u know every single British rockstar to ever exist

Was confused when u told him it was almost 5 hours from London to anywhere near ur gaff

Got scrapped by a bunch of year 7s outside a one stop if u took him to England

Takes the mick out of yu in a cute way

Copies ur words

DEFOS TOLD JOHNNY TO PACK IT IN ONCE AND U WERE FUCKING CREASING

Told him u met Janick Gers from iron maiden and had drinks wiv him in the pub one time and he almost diedddd.

You could defos persuade him to dress up in a Adidas traccy and run fru ur local shopping center screaming sweet Caroline and tripping over eachother

you took him to hmv?

Big mistake

He never wants to leave

Defos has all the badges and posters

Spent an hour minimum sat on the floor with you looking at the band t shirts

Would complain constantly about weather but would kiss you in the rain

Got stuck in a shitty kids swing at the park

CHRIS PONTIUS

Lives for your voice

Copies ur every word

If u took him to ur hometown he would cling onto your arm and NOT let go

Called someone a geezer at a local boots and got scrapped

Yano them rando tarzees kids make out of rope and stuff but their always like 50 meters of the ground?

He found one

Jumped off

Flew like a mufucken bird

BEANS ON TOAST

WHAT AN INVENTION

His mind was opened to the 4th dimension that day

Imagine he pulled a party boy stunt in the town center

GOT CALLED A NONCEWING BY A BUNCH OF CHAVS

Wore a tie everywhere u went while u were their

Says oh my days religiously now

Fails a stunt? Oh my days

Trips? Oh my days

Bam pulls a rocky on him? Oh my fucking days

LOVES YOU SM THO

His little English, tea drinking princess

STEVE-O

Steve-o lived in England for alot of his childhood, always on the move so he was a bit more calm than most

BUT CAUSE HE WAS FROM DOWN SOUTH AND YOU UP NORTH THAT DONET STOP HIM

makes fun of northern chavs and compares them

Says the North is like a diff country all together js on account of the people and the weather

Thinks ur footie teams r shite

Defos got kicked up the arse for that one

Meal deals man

His fave thing after you

Esp from tescos

LYNX AFTERSHAVE IS HIS THING OMFS

Understands some British slang but is still confused by majority of ur convoz with people from ur home town

TAKE HIM TO FLAMINGO LAND

INSTANT MAYHEM

Sold gimicky vapes to some year 8s and fucking pissed himself laughing when they realised

RYAN DUNN

Swears at everyone with "posh words"

Wanker, bell-end, twat, muppet, cunt.

Picked up the accent on the words too

Fucking fab tha

GOT APPROACHED BY A PROZZIE

was terrified

Defos asked where her teeth were and got chased off

Thinks corner shops in England r the best thing ever

Manjaros? The takeaway not the mountain?

LOVED IT

DONNER KEBAB ✨️💅

Has been chased by council estate grannies for shoving you into people's gardens

Sat with you at the top of those shitty rope climbing frames in the park and u had a legit romantic moment

SPOILER ALERT! bam got photos of u kissing up there

Yano them random tunnels under the main roads yea?

Went down them wiv u and u ended up in a field with him laying on your chest and looking at the stars

[veganpeachpie]

Books without overwhelming romance

I feel like a lot of books people talk about these days have a heavy focus on romance and spice, which really isn't my cup of tea, and it's hard to find good recommendations that don't have that. So here are some YA/adult books I love that don't have romance as a huge part of the plot!

(There may be some minor romantic subplots, but they aren't a major focus.)

The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles In June, 1954, eighteen-year-old Emmett Watson is driven home to Nebraska by the warden of the work farm where he has just served a year for involuntary manslaughter. His mother long gone, his father recently deceased, and the family farm foreclosed upon by the bank, Emmett’s intention is to pick up his eight-year-old brother and head west where they can start their lives anew. But when the warden drives away, Emmett discovers that two friends from the work farm have hidden themselves in the trunk of the warden’s car. Together, they have hatched an altogether different plan for Emmett’s future.

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles In 1922, Count Alexander Rostov is deemed an unrepentant aristocrat by a Bolshevik tribunal, and is sentenced to house arrest in the Metropol, a grand hotel across the street from the Kremlin. Rostov, an indomitable man of erudition and wit, has never worked a day in his life, and must now live in an attic room while some of the most tumultuous decades in Russian history are unfolding outside the hotel’s doors. Unexpectedly, his reduced circumstances provide him entry into a much larger world of emotional discovery.

Babel by R.F. Kuang 1828. Robin Swift, orphaned by cholera in Canton, is brought to London by the mysterious Professor Lovell. There, he trains for years in Latin, Ancient Greek, and Chinese, all in preparation for the day he’ll enroll in Oxford University’s prestigious Royal Institute of Translation—also known as Babel. The tower and its students are the world's center for translation and, more importantly, magic. Silver-working—the art of manifesting the meaning lost in translation using enchanted silver bars—has made the British unparalleled in power, as the arcane craft serves the Empire's quest for colonization. For Robin, Oxford is a utopia dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge. But knowledge obeys power, and as a Chinese boy raised in Britain, Robin realizes serving Babel means betraying his motherland. As his studies progress, Robin finds himself caught between Babel and the shadowy Hermes Society, an organization dedicated to stopping imperial expansion. When Britain pursues an unjust war with China over silver and opium, Robin must decide . . .

This Savage Song by V.E. Schwab Kate Harker and August Flynn are the heirs to a divided city—a city where the violence has begun to breed actual monsters. All Kate wants is to be as ruthless as her father, who lets the monsters roam free and makes the humans pay for his protection. All August wants is to be human, as good-hearted as his own father, to play a bigger role in protecting the innocent—but he’s one of the monsters. One who can steal a soul with a simple strain of music. When the chance arises to keep an eye on Kate, who’s just been kicked out of her sixth boarding school and returned home, August jumps at it. But Kate discovers August’s secret, and after a failed assassination attempt the pair must flee for their lives.

Anxious People by Frederick Backman Viewing an apartment normally doesn’t turn into a life-or-death situation, but this particular open house becomes just that when a failed bank robber bursts in and takes everyone in the apartment hostage. As the pressure mounts, the eight strangers begin slowly opening up to one another and reveal long-hidden truths. As police surround the premises and television channels broadcast the hostage situation live, the tension mounts and even deeper secrets are slowly revealed. Before long, the robber must decide which is the more terrifying prospect: going out to face the police, or staying in the apartment with this group of impossible people.

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig Somewhere out beyond the edge of the universe there is a library that contains an infinite number of books, each one the story of another reality. One tells the story of your life as it is, along with another book for the other life you could have lived if you had made a different choice at any point in your life. While we all wonder how our lives might have been, what if you had the chance to go to the library and see for yourself? Would any of these other lives truly be better? Nora Seed finds herself faced with this decision. Faced with the possibility of changing her life for a new one, following a different career, undoing old breakups, realizing her dreams of becoming a glaciologist; she must search within herself as she travels through the Midnight Library to decide what is truly fulfilling in life, and what makes it worth living in the first place.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak It is 1939. Nazi Germany. The country is holding its breath. Death has never been busier, and will be busier still. By her brother's graveside, Liesel's life is changed when she picks up a single object, partially hidden in the snow. It is The Gravedigger's Handbook, left behind there by accident, and it is her first act of book thievery. So begins a love affair with books and words, as Liesel, with the help of her accordian-playing foster father, learns to read. Soon she is stealing books from Nazi book-burnings, the mayor's wife's library, wherever there are books to be found. But these are dangerous times. When Liesel's foster family hides a Jew in their basement, Liesel's world is both opened up, and closed down.

The synopses were all taken from Goodreads. Feel free to comment/DM me if you have any questions about these!

[icanseethefuture333]

Hi Desi ! Can i ask you who is stray kids would date a woc of different ethnicities ? Thank you :)

Oop! 😳 Time to spill some more tea then 🤭

MTL to date a WOC outside of Korea in Stray Kids:

(According to my pendulum, based off of their current energy / preferences)

Felix

I.N

Bang Chan

Changbin

Seungmin

Han

Hyunjin

Lee Know

Top row:

Left is Bang Chan, center is I.N, and right is Felix

Bang chan's reasoning for being third most likely is because he's very sexually enticed by woc outside of his race. They peak his interest and finds them attractive. I am pretty sure he's been with them before. Some of you guys might not want to hear this but it's giving he wants to soar his oats with just about anybody 🫣. I'm not really getting any romantic feelings, so he seems non committal or he would date a foreigner, but would really have to think about if he'd marry one. He's not really mature yet long term for a cross cultural or interracial relationship. Bang Chan is still ignorant in some areas of other cultures (he just wants to fuck 🥱). It's just giving like he is aware of other people's culture and then when dating someone who's not from the same culture, it's like he think would make a better partner than someone hasn't before. A know it all who doesn't really know it all ifykwim. When its like he can't hold any of his relationships down, he constantly searches for new beginnings or the next thing sexually (for any Bang Chan fans ready to fight don't be arguing with me on anon in my inbox!!! This is his energy for now, he's in his fuckboy era, do not put the blame on me for this! Sometimes we won't always hear the most pure or positive messages about our faves and that is okay)

Ngl I.N surprised me 😳 even though I did channeled before that his future spouse was someone that had dual citizenships (Korean and British). I was pleased to hear what his response was on dating a woc outside of his country or race. I.N's view on dating a woc that isn't Korean is quite positive. He shows admiration for them and has more pure intentions than I would say in comparison to Bang Chan (💀 I mean no shade??? but eh, I said what I said). I.N would be very supportive and willing to learn about his partner's culture or traditions. He honestly wouldn't care as long as they have similar family structures. I.N is rebellious by nature, so he just cares about his happiness and the happiness of his loved ones.

Felix's reasoning for being most likely to date a woc is given the fact he feels like he is an outsider in his own country and culture as well. He is Korean, but doesn't feel Korean enough? Felix resonates more with how he grew up in Australia and misses that lifestyle. There is water here and what seems like a beach. Felix could outpour a lot of love towards people that are different from him now and doesn't judge based off of racial stereotypes. Being able to travel overseas and meet new people has allowed him to open his mind and broaden his horizons. It's almost as if he was limiting himself in some areas (caring too much about labels, what's Korean, what's not Korean, what makes him Australian or what doesn't make him Australian). Controversial maybe??? Felix could feel more loved and respected by woc outside of Korea (I laughed I'm sorry 💀). There is a cultural difference so maybe they are more expressive with their love language where as in Korea they show it differently (I.E: a foreign woc might be affectionate and show physical touch, where a Korean woman would exchange gifts). Felix's view on dating woc could be more so a romantic fantasy or he likes the relationships he's seen in movies, television, or music videos. I channeled this before in a reading for him but I always think of Harry Styles and his Grammy's performance for "As It Was" to be his ideal romance. (Felix fr just as delulu as the rest of us LMAOOO 🤧)

Middle row:

Left is Changbin, center is Seungmin, and right is Han

Changbin is down for whatever honestly 💀. He's not the type to search for love but more so takes action only if he wants to experience it. He's romantic in general so if anyone could handle him and his quirks, then he's happy. Changbin would be very charming. I feel like he just needs the opportunity to meet a woc? I don't think he's ever dated a woc outside of Korea fr. "I had the plan, I just needed the platform" type of energy 🤣

Seungmin would be a hot mess I'm sorry 💀 I'm not even gonna sugarcoat it. It's like he wants to but he's not doing it based off of realistic decisions. It's more so he has an idea of what it's like to date a woc outside of Korea, but he's not focusing on the sentimental value of what it means to be in a relationship. Seungmin is very picky in general and makes romantic decisions based off of his illusions (another delulu??? Free the Virgos please). So because of his high expectations he would not be able to form long lasting connections. Also woc could be turned off by his behavior as well, they would most likely call him out or reject him because he's not mature enough. They won't tolerate it. Seungmin would just get his feelings hurt but it would be his own fault for being so damn sassy all the time 😂. He is stubborn though, so he would keep trying until he learns his lesson and also he finds the right person who can match his energy. The person he dates would require a looooot of patience because he is not easy to deal with. Very chaotic energy, but funny!

The reason Han is one of the members who is least likely is because he is more shy and introverted. So going up to a person and asking them out in general is not his thing. If Han were to date a woc that wasn't Korean, he'd have to be most likely friends first. "I have anxiety bruh." (💀). He'd want to take his time and get to know the person regardless of what their race is. I don't think he has much of a preference, it's just about who he's attracted to within that time. Han would be protective of his partner though and would express his love through gifts, money, etc.

Bottom row:

Left is Hyunjin & right is Lee Know

Hyunjin for being one of the members who is least likely to date a non-Korean woc is because he is very traditional. Whenever I do readings regarding his love life he always makes this very clear. He finds some woc (yes I said some because it's not a large number of woc he likes💀) beautiful, but it's not something he wants to go through all the trouble for. Too tedious for his liking. Hyunjin's fanbase is mostly in Korea as well so he could focus more on that because that is the attention he is used to getting from, so he cares more about catering to his fans, his family's expectations, as well as his own personal preferences. It's like he's not closed off to the idea, but Hyunjin doesn't like change. He prefers to stick to what he knows and situations that are predictable. To try being in a cross cultural or interracial relationship, it would make Hyunjin really anxious, nervous, and uncomfortable, because it is a type of environment he is not used to. I can say for sure say he's only ever dated a woman who was Korean or of Asian descent. Hyunjin would have to work on his confidence and care more about his own thoughts than other people's thoughts in order to be with a woc that wasn't Korean.

Lee Know is somewhat similar to Hyunjin's response, with a nicer approach. In his opinion, he feels like it requires courage to be in a relationship with a woc outside of Korea. He believes people who date someone that isn't the same race as them go through a lot of hardship. Channeled message: "I think if I was a father and my child looked like me, or looked like me a little less because they had features like their mama, whether their skin was maybe darker or their hair was a different texture. People would be very cruel and it would make me very upset as a dad. It's not a easy route to take. Maybe in the future when I am more brave I will think about it, as for now I am okay with being a coward!" (PLS 💀)

I hope you guys enjoyed this reading! I will be forming my own harem with these 4, take care besties 💋

[thorns-and-rosewings]

In light of the most recent TSAMS episode, how about some funny Ruin craziness from the Home Sweet Bar AU? 🍻

Now here's the thing with Ruin, in spite of owning a bar he has never really been much of a drinker, he openly prefers tea to alcohol.

The man is a living British stereotype

But on this particular day, a few of the customers at Infernal Machine actually offer Ruin a sip of their quite potent alcoholic drinks, this was a mistake...

Turns out the British twink cannot handle drinks...

Ruin gets WASTED practically off of one drink. His behavior quickly becomes erratic, random and weirdly hypnotic to nearly all of the crowd at his bar. He maintains still being mostly his harmless self... For a bit...

Before Eclipse can grab his business partner, Ruin escapes from the bar. Standing outside with spirals in his eyes and surrounded by the merry bar patrons.

Ruin: LETS... ROB A BANK!!!!!

The crowd cheers and follow Ruin as he races down the road... However one singular patron and Eclipse stand in the steampunk bars entrance just watching the group disappear from view.

Patron: Hey um... I'm not cool with robbing a bank.

Eclipse: Don't worry there's about two hotdog stands and a zoo between him and the nearest bank, he'll never make it.

Patron: 0_0

Eclipses words were prophetic...

.

It's the next day in the complex that functions as the duos home underneath the bar; Ruin is in his cute shark onesie pajamas with his face in the kitchen table. While Eclipse sits across from him in his silken Yukata that he uses as a robe, counting out what looks to be a vast amount of cash.

Eclipse: (Sarcastic) Have fun last night honey?

Ruin: (Groans)

Eclipse: So what happened during your little adventure?

Ruin: I... I believe I spent quite a bit of time feeding hotdogs to a giraffe...

Eclipse: How'd that go?

Ruin: He wasn't too keen on it first but he eventually came around. After that I... I fear it's become very blurry...

Eclipse: Want me to fill in the blanks?

Ruin: You know? Oh... H-How bad-?

Eclipse: After you gave a giraffe a taste for meat... Or as close to meat as whatever hotdogs actually are... you hopped onto its head, slid down it's back and the proceeded to ride it out of the zoo screaming 'Viva la Revolution!' while many of the zoo animals chose to escape their enclosures. You rode the giraffe into the center of the city while the other animals released untold destruction upon the area. Your adoring fans, many of which I am guessing were either drunk or just outright under your spell, started blaring the song Wannabe by Spice Girls... Which prompted you to put on what I can only assume to be... An impromptu strip show.

Ruin: Oh no...

Eclipse: Yeah... Where'd you think all this cash came from? Maybe the bar business isn't the business you should have gone into.

Ruin: How did I get home?

Eclipse: At some point you just passed out and right as the police were starting to show up, everyone scattered and I grabbed your drunk ass and dragged you home. You put on your stupid pajamas and then...

(...Ruin spent all night hugging onto Eclipse who was unable to free himself from his partners insane grip. So he had no choice but to just let him sleep next to him all night...)

Eclipse: ...you spent the night on the couch...

Ruin: (Doesn't remember) Bloody hell... Well... At least it's over.

Eclipse: (Reading the newspaper about a man-eating giraffe loose in the city) Uh huh... Sure it is...

[lorifragolina]

Metalsandwich Abbey

This is my second participation for the @now-showing-at-the-hawk-events, Metalsandwich Movie Mania, prompt for today:

Historical Movie Day.

I got inspired in Downton Abbey, such a good period drama I love very, very much! I wrote this story in a rush and probably it isn't perfect but I really had fun with it! As you can see, I didn't bother finding a proper title XD

Rating: Explicit TW: British snobs vs rowdy Americans WC: 4225

Read it on AO3

A little snipped from the middle of the fic!

Suddenly, the driver door opened too, and a man slightly less distinguished came out. He was young, with long wavy hair down on his shoulders, a burgundy velvet jacket with an unfasten bow tie hanging on a side, and the shirt opened to the second button. “Hey, can I leave the car here, uncle?” he said, fishing for a cigarette and matchings in his pocket. “Lord Grantham, please, let me introduce my nephew, Edward Munson, he’s traveling with me”. “Hey, nice to meet you, my friend, how you doin’?” The young man stretched his hand to Lord Grantham, who was frankly disoriented, letting the cigarette hang at the side of his mouth, making his words and his accent more strange yet.  “What a nice party here, hello, my lady,” Eddie immediately turned to the ladies, lenting his hand to Lady Cora, who freezed. Lady Violet whined and the younger ladies giggled, half amused and half shocked by the evident man’s lack of manners. Lord Grantham introduced his family, still horrified, and then make way to the drawing room, asking for tea. “Hey, handsome,” Eddie whispered when he shook his hand with Steve, who blushed, and Billy, not far away, frowned. Eddie followed the direction of Steve’s look, and he winked when he met Billy’s eyes. He couldn't help but blush in return. Carson was a little altered when they served the tea to the family, so Billy volunteered to help him and assist at the show. Eddie Munson sat in the center of the sofa, spreading his legs and his arms on the headboard. The ladies sat tight on the sofa in front of him, intimidated but a little amused by Granny's reaction. The old lady sat in an armchair making any sort of shocked noises and now had to fan herself, hiding her expression behind the fan. Lady Mary added a splash of milk to Eddie’s tea and he took a little sip before clicking his lips loudly.  “Is there something stronger to add to this schlop? A little whisky, perhaps?” Everybody gasped in shock. Carson looked daggers and searched the Earl’s eyes, who looked at him pursuing his lips. Old Wayne Munson was mortified as his guests, while Eddie kept looking around as he was alone in his hotel room.

[dailyanarchistposts]

Imperialism, Capitalism, and the State

To understand the current situation, we must first demystify the political system in Iran.

Iran must be understood as a capitalist society and its state, both before and after the revolution, as a capitalist state. No amount of demagogic proclamations can change the fact that the Iranian state, while possessing many features peculiar to itself, is nonetheless a particular form of bourgeois class rule, a fact visible not only in its internal social relations, but also in the role it plays in the world system.

Through the course of the nineteenth century, Iran went through a process of integration and peripheralization into the rising capitalist world system. The Qajar dynasty (1794 to 1925) that ascended the Peacock Throne at the end of the previous century was quickly caught in the “Great Game” between the Tsarist Russian Empire and the British Empire as they both became more assertive in Asia. Military defeats resulted in the imposition of unequal treaties that not only led to a loss of territory but also included terms that established political and economic dominance. Iran was opened up to European commodities, while domestic production increasingly became geared towards the world market.[2]

Qajar Iran was a system that can be described as tribal-feudalism.[3] The state was not a centralized modern state. The Shah (king) ruled through various local nobles, landlords, tribal-chiefs, and senior clergy who formed the landed aristocracy and played the role of the respective powers in their locality. The latter ruled over a large mass of peasant villagers and nomadic tribes-people. There was no national army, only armies tied to local lords and chiefs. People were divided up according to ethnic groupings, tribal or religious sects, and spoke a variety of languages and dialects.

In the urban centers, which often served as provincial capitals, the center of economic life was — and to a large extent still is today — the bazaar, the traditional commercial center in the urban Middle East, with the merchants and artisans who inhabit it being collectively known as bazaari.[4] The bazaar was not just the center for shops and trade, it also often contained public baths, tea houses, as well as the central mosque. It is common for bazaari and clergy to have familial relations. Wealthy bazaaris fund the mosques and seminaries, religious processions, donate to charitable foundations, and form the main financial support for many religious affairs. Landholdings of the senior clergy and wealthy merchants increased over the course of the 19th century, with the clergy gaining land through religious endowments and donations by rich aristocrats and merchants. This relationship between the bazaari, as the traditional bourgeoisie, and the clergy is important for understanding the politics of modern Iran, and the 1979 revolution in particular, for it was this clerical-bazaari alliance that lay at the heart of the revolution, serving as the base of the Islamic Republic.

This process of integration into the world market, particularly in the form of European domination, contributed to the development of bourgeois national consciousness among merchants, clergy, and artisans. Struggles against foreign concessions and other forms of foreign domination became more commonplace as the merchant bourgeoisie of the bazaar became more assertive, solidifying a bourgeois form of national consciousness. This combination of a material-financial force in the merchants and the ideological force of the clergy transformed the traditional bourgeoisie into a genuine political force.

The integration and peripheralization characteristic of the nineteenth century brought with it close economic ties between Iranian and Russian merchants, but also contributed to the embryonic development of a modern working class. The reality of this process hit home in Iran when the global depression of the 1870s provoked a drop in agricultural prices. Worsening conditions in the countryside forced peasants to leave their villages in search of work. Naturally, they were drawn to the growing industrial centers of the Russian Caucasus, particularly the new oil industry, the center of which being the city of Baku.

Baku’s oil fields were a crucible for working-class radicalism. In the late nineteenth century, the city attracted hundreds of thousands of Iranian migrant workers to the growing industry where they encountered the organizing of the Russian Social Democratic Workers Party (RSDWP), itself formed in 1898. Not only Iranians, but people from all over the region traveled to work in the industry, with the result that the city boasted a significant multi-ethnic and multi-religious working class. Employers stoked hostilities often, and Iranian workers and activists in the region became involved in many of the strikes organized by the party. It was a strike wave in Baku that sparked the events that would lead to the Russian Revolution of 1905. Amidst this wave, workers gained crucial experience in party activities and strikes, and it was during the same year the Social Democratic Party of Iran (SDPI) was founded.[5]

The 1905 Revolution would directly influence bourgeois national revolutions in Asian nations such as China and Turkey, but given its proximity and its historical ties, it was felt most immediately in Iran. For Russian and Iranian Social Democrats, the revolution in Iran was directly tied to the revolution against the Tsar. Following the Tsarist reaction just north of the border, many revolutionaries turned their attention south to Iran. The revolutionary wave landing in Iran at the end of the year marked a crucial turning point, ushering in the twentieth century with the Constitutional Revolution and Civil War (1906–1911).[6] This revolution had a number of parallels with the one in Russia, and can even be seen as an extension of the latter, as it proved to be a similarly bourgeois national-democratic revolution with a strong social democratic element. Although it would not succeed in fundamentally altering the state or economic relations, it was nonetheless of great cultural-political significance, and every political tendency that will go on to shape the landscape of 20th century Iran draw their roots there. It also prolonged the bazaari-clergy alliance that had developed in the protests against foreign concessions, but did so while introducing a revolutionary element into the nascent working class and social democratic movement. Along with the struggle for a national assembly, or Majlis, we also witness the appearance and growth of the anjumans, or provincial councils that — as with the soviets — became sources of popular power that pushed the revolution further. In 1909, the first modern industry-wide trade union was established in Tehran among print shops and newspaper workers. 1910 saw the first industry-wide strike, which included all the major newspapers in Tehran. Their demands included, among other things, the eight-hour day and the installation of a minimum wage.

Faced with the threat of revolution from below and an ascendant Germany that was becoming increasingly more assertive in the Middle East, the Russian and British empires put their differences aside and came to an agreement in Asia which was formalized as The Anglo-Russian Treaty of 1907. The agreement made the division of Iran into Russian and British spheres of influence official, and served as a decisive step in the construction of alliances that would eventually erupt into world war.[7] The December 1911 Russian-British invasion and occupation of Iran put an end to the revolutionary wave that had been ongoing since 1905. The Tsarist armies in particular oversaw a reign of terror against Iranian and Russian revolutionaries. While the parliament survived, it did so merely as a basis for aristocratic rule. The constitutional revolution posed, for the first time in Iran, the still crucial question: how should radical socialists relate to broader, popular democratic revolution? And it did so while demonstrating another persistent truth: in the face of social revolution bourgeois democrats will turn to imperialism and reaction.

Two years after the Anglo-Russian intervention that ended the Constitutional Revolution, the imperialist rivalry broke out into world war in 1914. Although the Iranian government officially declared neutrality, it proved powerless to prevent Iran from becoming part of the Middle Eastern theater of war between the Anglo-Russian alliance (‘Entente Powers’) and the Ottoman-German alliance (‘Central Powers’). The war had devastating effects on Iran, as it did on any place that was treated as a battleground for imperialist slaughter. Roughly two million people died from the violence of war, famine, and disease. The situation underscored Iran’s colonial situation, as the country was helpless in the face of foreign powers that effectively did as they pleased within its borders.

At this point, Iran proved to be an independent nation only in name, with the central government serving as a mere shadow for other powers. As was the case before the constitutional period, the central government had no real power outside of the nation’s capital, and even there, such power was constantly disrupted by foreign intervention. Local tribal chiefs and aristocrats seized the opportunity to assert themselves and by the end of the war, clearly constituted the actual powers in their respective regions, going so far as to strike deals and sign treaties with imperialist powers directly without any involvement of, or mediation from, the central government.

The 1917 Russian Revolution fundamentally altered the situation, and breathed new life into the revolutionary forces. The Bolsheviks removed Russian forces from Iran while abolishing all Russian treaties and concessions over the country. The fall of the Romanov Tsar also marked the removal of the Qajars’ principal patron. Following the removal of Russian and Ottoman forces at the end of the war, the British became the dominant imperialist power in the Middle East. The British had initially thought to turn Iran into a protectorate, but the possibility proved untenable. Anti-British sentiment was increasing, and they had quite simply spread themselves too thin. Most importantly, the October Revolution had ushered in a new threat of social revolution. Bolsheviks-aligned Iranian socialists formed the Adalat (Justice) Party, which in 1920 became the Communist Party of Iran. More than perhaps anything else, it was the October Revolution that threatened both the British and the local ruling aristocracy. By 1920, this threat had spread to the northern province of Gilan with the establishment of the Soviet Socialist Republic of Iran. The Red Army now had an official presence on Iranian soil, and succeeded in pushing out both British and Iranian forces from the area.[8]

This presence forced a change in the imperialist strategy of the British. Whereas the latter had thus far supported various local nobles and tribal chiefs in an effort to maintain their influence, this tactic (in addition to direct occupation) was beginning to prove unstable in the face of the Bolshevik threat. Alongside many among the Iranian ruling class, the British searched for a strongman who could seize power, restore order, and protect their interests from the threat of social revolution. It was in this context that an officer from the Cossack Brigades named Reza Khan distinguished himself as the best candidate for the job.9 He was encouraged to organize a coup, the result of which would be an insurance of security and the withdrawal of British forces from the region.