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#Brian is the only one who acts like he wouldn’t (until he’s Hoodie- hoodie gives off creepy stalker murderer vibes)
syndianites · 3 months
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Marble Hornets but it’s the cinnamon roll meme:
Alex: Looks like he could kill you, could actually kill you
Tim: Looks like he could kill you, could actually kill you
Brian: Looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you
Jay: Looks like he needs a damn nap, the only thing he’s killing is the last piece of his sanity after hitting the 72 hour mark of being awake
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scary-lasagna · 3 years
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Slender, Zalgo, Hoodie, Masky and Helen with an s.o. that got a loveliness that made them inlove with the creeps best friend? Like a sad betrayal? -Potion Anon
Slender
Slender wouldn't look into it, surprisingly.
His insecurity is too high, and it'll be too late before he can help you.
The love potion would have taken a permanent effect after a week, Splendor is an expert at making magical items to his perfection due to his work profession.
Slender will simply wallow in his self-pity, and try to ignore his nagging feeling of guilt and anger while he works.
This puts a terrible strain on family and friends, everyone seems to have taken a side whether it's right or wrong.
Offender wants to help his older brother, but he realizes there's not much that he can do. The potion has long-lasting effects, and Splendor is too good at potion making to leave any room for loopholes.
Slender shuts himself off until he can grasp his proper bearings, then decides to move on with his life. He's lived for this long without you, he can live a little longer until you come to your senses.
Zalgo
"Well, go on then."
He acts completely unbothered during your transition. You told him how you feel, because that would be the right thing to do, not running off in the middle of the night like your lover suggested.
As much as you loved Zalgo, you loved your new significant other 4x as much.
Zalgo knows you were hit with a love potion. As someone who deals with potions, magic, and things alike on a daily basis for work, the signs are clear-cut
And he knows they're irreversible unless he can find the source. So, like the possessive protective person that he is, he follows you and locates your new lover.
Zalgo is also a fucking psychopathic demonic king entity, which means in simpler tones that he's a spoiled brat with too much power.
He will absolutely kill your captor. Not only because they took you against your will, but because they betrayed his trust.
Zalgo does not have many friends, so those close to him must be extremely trustworthy. But apparently, there's always a few rotten apples in the barrel.
Hoodie
Brian will travel to the ends of the earth to bring you back home to his open arms.
He loves you with all of his heart, and he's sure if he could just talk to you one time, just once, he may be able to sway your heart back into his favor.
It broke his heart that you didn't even want to hear him out.
He was covered in dirt, soot, and even a little blood from the journey to find you.
And you couldn't bear to just hear him say 'I love you' for the last time.
Fuck you, then.
He still doesn't quite grasp the entire understanding of love potions, but he can't help but blame you for your actions.
Tim, of all people?
Brian bottles his hatred with a loose cork and refuses to talk to Tim, or you, ever again.
Masky
Masky would be similar to Zalgo.
He'll let you go at first, have a good cry, and then turn into a lovestruck bounty hunter.
His job is to literally hunt people down so good luck hiding from him.
He wants to see who it was that took you from him, and his heart absolutely breaks when he sees Brian's smiling face giving you a piggyback on the way home from a date.
Anger, frustration, confusion, and self-loathing pulls through.
He doesn't have the heart to hurt you or Brian.
You both mean so much to him. And by the looks of it, you're much happier with Brian than you are with him.
Maybe you were better off without Tim in your life. And that's what he convinced himself.
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faerienextdoor · 4 years
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general relationship hcs with (some) pastas
Fair warning, I'm using and hinting at mine and my friends’ writing for these creeps :) enjoy  also as soon as i figure out how to open an ask box, I’ll be accepting requests
Brian:
- oh where to start with this absolute himbo
- he melts around you. like he's your bitch, and you're his.
- he's the type of boyfriend that takes you out in the snow and shoves a handful down the back of your jacket, and laughs until you shove snow in his face
- it is snow war
- it ends with you cuddling him, wrapped in a blanket and content in front of the burning fire he got started just for you <3
- but he also has some weird... habits.
- drinks pickle juice.
- gets his hand stuck in the jar.
- looks at you like 🥺 until you sigh and help him. for the fifteenth time.
- he can cook some basic breakfast foods, and happily breaks out a cookbook to prepare you something as a surprise or to learn something with you!!
- baking with him would be a mess. he forgets flour goes everywhere and now you both look like you took a bath in cocaine
- but the cupcakes are mediocre at best. they aren't absolute garbage, so... cupcake points!
- he worries about how hoodie treats you. he doesn't remember anything when he regains control, but you've reassured him hoodie is just fine.
- and he is
(hoodie)
- hoodie is like a rottweiler or a doberman.
- protective. intimidating. energetic.
- but also a giant fucking baby.
- this large ass man lumbers over and drops to his knees. places his chin on your lap and stares at you from the fabric of his mask until you stop what you're doing and stroke his head awkwardly
- you could swear he does those happy grumbled a rottie does.
- hoodie is silent but shows he loves you just as much as brian does. He strokes your hair silently, even places a kiss to the crown of your head as you sink into his beefy arms.
- he smells nice too. surprisingly.
- but that raises the question: if hoodie showers, does he shower with that damn thing on?
- you won't get an answer if you were to ask.
- brian introduces you to his grandma julia. and she dotes on you.
- the immortal old lady remarks that you’re the best s/o brian has brought to her yet.
Tim:
- a lumberjack man with biceps like a fucking tree trunk
- how'd you land him? give me your secrets (/j)
- he's such a love bug. a tired stressed love bug.
- he finds /every/ excuse to have physical contact with you. it's like a little touch from you reassures him that you're real. you're like a dream to him.
- he's the best for cuddles. He holds you to his chest
- and you get special access to his moobs
- and he gently strokes your head, traces shapes into your back, etc. it's a special intimate moment each time.
- my man's is italian-american but can't cook to save his fucken life
- he always gets your favorite microwave meals though!! he never forgets.
- not feeling good? dw baby he's making it for you <33 shitty low tier bean and cheese burrito coming up
- slowly he learns the basics and surprises you with lunch or even dinner if you're lucky!!
- he loves you so much. and wants you to feel it and know it. all the time.
(masky)
- god where to start with this bitch
- he's not jeff levels of bad ofc, but he's silent and... weird. creepy, some may say. he doesn't mean to be.
- and he's a hard ass. far more strict than tim.
- he follows you around like a giant fucken puppy and will spook you by grabbing you abruptly and holding you tightly
- you can't escape him. he really utilizes his physical strength
- he loves lifting you up and just... holding you. or carrying you off.
- protective and overbearing.
- but tim keeps him under control.
(angst)
- he wouldn't want to lose you like he lost his last wife.
- you find pictures of a woman laying around and a small girl that bears a striking resemblance to her and tim.
- tim goes quiet and questioned but eventually caves and tells you about his family
- or what he used to have
- his wife died and his daughter disappeared.
- it broke him and you're all he has left now
- constantly needs your affection in return to his own
- pls love him
jeff:
- why the fuck would you date him
- he's the absolute worst in so many aspects. But he genuinely tries for you.
- even if his gifts are shitty, it's nice to know he thoughts of you, right? even if it's a half dead flower or a rib torn from a deer caraccas.
- but you get the butt end of his shithead antics. ranch bath, specifically. he smelt like spoiled milk for a week after and you had to cuddle that fucker.
- and don't get me started on mayo bath
- but he still loves finding himself in your arms. or finding you in his. he's demanding affection wise, and will yank you into him for some cuddles. whether you like it or not.
- he isn't one for a lot of pet names, but calls you curse words or "sweetheart" in polish.
- and you get to see the side of him that only shows when he breaks down.
(bit of angst)
- he misses his family and the life he used to have. he'll reminisce what it was like in poland with his mom and family with you, and you sometimes swear you can see his brown eyes gloss over at the memory of her.
- he never talks about his dad, you've noticed.
- don't ask.
- he brushes off heavy conversations with some dumb quip ("wanna see my renegade?")
- he sucks at cooking. god awful at it. but he really tries for you. manages a bowl of oat meal that's edible.
- but he overloads it with sugar and for some reason, salt.
- he's confused. he thinks that's normal (it isn't)
- his idea of a date is napping with you. or rather, forcing you into nap time.
- I mean it when I say this man is strong in a weird fucken way. latches onto you with that iron grip and you won't be able to leave for at least a few hours.
jane:
- ethereal wlw woman.
- could break you with her heels. or a flutter of what eyelashes she has.
- you're lucky to have her, and she's just as lucky to have you!
- she's sweet and charming. very smooth and takes good care of you.
- her love language is a mix of physical touch and acts of service.
- she'll cuddle you all night, and then make you breakfast in the morning.
- she loves showering with you when she's comfy enough around you! it's super intimate and she washes your hair.
- massages the soap into your hair, suds spilling down your neck and back as her fingers scrub circles into your scalp.
- it's heaven on earth. such a domestic life.
- it'll take a while for her to settle enough in the relationship for you to see her without her mask
- you make her feel so loved and wanted
- secure, even.
- she's protective but not controlling or overbearing. shes that type of girlfriend that's just a worrywart and relaxes as soon as you're curled up in her arms. you fit there perfectly, too. like you belong there.
- which you do. at least in her mind
- she has such a gentle touch and hold on you. like she's afraid you'll combust in her arms if she holds you too tightly.
- she loves stroking your hair and having you nap
- using her tiddies as a pillow 👌
(angst)
- she needs affirmation from you when it comes to her scars.
- she thinks that jeff ruined her. permanently marking her once spotless body.
- and she thinks you'll hate her or find her disgusting.
- that's why she freezes if/when you gently slip off her mask.
- she stares at you with those teary green eyes. then leans in and kisses you
- you make all of her worries disappear.
- she's also financially comfortable, but not really rich (on that topic: eat the rich)
- she spoils you every chance she gets. gifts, a nice dinner date, you name it
- she almost spoils you as much as she does her cat Emory
- little shit has the sparkliest fucken collar and acts like he's the shit
- he's your fur baby too now
Helen:
- oh my god this disaster of an art boi
- he's convinced he's the luckiest man in the world (and he might as well be!!)
- he obviously wouldn't have been the one to confess. but it was really obvious by how he painted and drew you constantly, that some feeling for you was lodged into his beating heart.
- he treats you like the finest china. with the most care a man can manage.
- he's the definition of clingy and affectionate from the very start.
- he curls around your sleeping form perfectly when y'all cuddle.
- his hand dances in your hair, soothing you into a dreamless sleep each night without fail.
- he has a magic touch and a gentle voice.
- and he cherishes you so fucken much. (like a simp /j)
- he shies away from kisses at first, but will hold your hand and melts if you hold his face in them!!!
- he's greek, and often speaks sweet things to you in it. he's so comfortable around you that he speaks in his native language to you. that's an accomplishment.
- he loves when you baby him. helen loves being cradled and loved.
- taking a nap with his head on your chest also hits different. he's so in love with you
(angst)
- he's afraid of losing you. who wouldn't be? you're amazing and you love /him/ of all people
- he thinks very negatively of himself. please scold him for self deprecating.
- he always worries he'll wake up and you'll be gone.
- so he holds you extra close at night. and follows you around when you leave for any reason. Trails behind you like a lost puppy in need of a gentle kiss.
- which, is what he essentially is
- and also: pls steal his sweater and wear it. he'll cry over how cute you are.
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cardentist · 4 years
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I’ve talked about how the misconception of hoodie and masky as proxies clashes with the plot of marble hornets before and how the implications of them being interpreted as proxies impacts the themes of tim’s characterization and storyline. (link)  that said, I’ve noticed that even people who Know they aren’t proxies still tend to interpret them as more violent or antagonistic than they really are, sometimes still interpreting them as working for or being controlled by the operator. 
so ! I wrote up a manifesto rambling on about my thoughts on why hoodie and masky come off as more threatening than they actually are, on what the operator’s influence actually is, and on masky’s role is as an alter. I’m putting it under a readmore for length ! so warning for major spoilers under the cut.
as a note, this is all based on my own understanding of the series, I don’t want to have to write “in my opinion” after everything I say so I’m saying it here fjlsdk
but to start with, I wanna address the idea of hoodie and masky (and even alex) being puppeted by the operator.
troy has gone out of his way to state multiple times that there are no proxies in marble hornets specifically to counter the notion that the operator has direct control of the characters’ actions at any point. the operator can affect people’s moods, their perception of reality, but it can’t puppet people’s actions. They’re in control of themselves even if they aren’t thinking clearly or rationally.
compare jay and alex. they were both unmedicated throughout the series (for the most part), and there’s evidence to suggest that jay was affected by the operator all the way back during the marble hornets shoot (he mentions how cold he feels just like tim, and he doesn’t remember alex’s change in behavior in the present at all), but they both were in Very different places mentally. it isn’t fair to just say that alex was more Violent than jay, we didn’t see much of him pre-operator but we were meant to get the idea that he was just a normal guy, but he had a very different reaction to the operator’s influence.
likewise, brian and tim were both taking medication throughout the series and Very Obviously had different reactions to the operator’s influence (brian self isolating and giving into paranoia while tim tried Very hard to live a normal life and get better despite his lack of support).  
if the operator could just control people’s actions then the differences in their personalities and environments wouldn’t have mattered. why bother creating an alter that’s less openly violent than alex was? why leave jay to be self destructive but ultimately harmless when he was vulnerable for so long? if the alters and changes in behavior were caused by a Direct influence by the operator, controlling what they Do rather than just how they feel, then they All should’ve been as murderous as alex was.
personally? I see masky as a protector that stemmed from tim’s childhood trauma. we don’t know exactly what happened for sure, like tim said we’ll never know if what he experienced was the operator or his own schizophrenia or both (or if the difference even matters), but we Do know that from his perspective he was locked in a room with a monster with nowhere to go and with no one to help him. the people who were Supposed to take care of him (his parents, his doctors) were the ones confining him there and he didn’t have anyone else in his life (brian was his first friend). that’s Plenty of reason for DID to occur naturally !
masky’s job as a protector would be to get tim (and the people important to him depending on the situation) away from danger by either fighting or running away, because tim didn’t Have the power to help himself when he needed it. moreover, that’d explain why masky tends to front in response to seizures and being Taken by the operator, it’d be to protect tim from whatever caused the pain (whether it can actually be protected against or not) And to deal with painful memories ! it’s a trauma response because masky exists in response To trauma and tim’s inability to cope with what happened to him on his own
so ! why does masky come off as so intimidating if he’s supposed to be a protector? because he was supposed to ! out of universe, the series was presented out of order with jay getting bits and pieces of what happened to slowly pull together a more complete narrative. hoodie and masky were written to Look like antagonists the first time through (in the same way that alex looked more sympathetic in the beginning), but slowly putting the pieces together makes their actual goals clearer as well as adds context to situations that made them look bad because of how they were presented in release order. this isn’t a failing of the storytelling by any means, we thought they were threatening because Jay thought they were threatening !
and well, in universe obviously part of it is that hoodie and masky are, you know,   running around wearing masks and acting shady, especially when you have no idea who they are or what they want. But a lot of times their actions Seem threatening but can either be explained by them purposefully appearing threatening to try to scare jay away from danger/into helping someone Or can be explained by them being affected by the operator in the same way that jay and alex were (more on that later :3c)
this distinction is important because hoodie and masky’s whole goal is to combat   alex and the operator ! the operator can make them more aggressive/act out in ways that they otherwise wouldn’t, but it isn’t making them do it’s bidding !
tbh the only thing holding me back from explaining every single instance where hoodie or masky come off as threatening is my own thinning self control, but the fact that I haven’t yet means that I have limited examples jlksfd. that said ! I can think of a couple!
the most obvious example of them being threatening on purpose was entry ####, when hoodie and masky stopped speaking in codes for the first time and made an overtly threatening video saying in no uncertain terms that they were coming to “get” jay just before the season 1 finale. They even posted it on His channel so he couldn’t ignore it. they Knew alex was going to go after jay, but they also knew that alex was watching him and watching them. if they warned him that alex was the one coming for him then alex wouldn’t make his move and would wait until jay was vulnerable again (plus the risk of him just not Believing them since at this point he had no reason to think that alex was truly dangerous). so they made Themselves the threat and scared jay out of his apartment before alex could burn him alive in it.
an example of them appearing threatening because of Circumstance and how the story was told is actually one series of events split up into several parts ! chronologically it starts with entry 52. alex invites jay and jessica into the woods, holds them at gunpoint, and tries to shoot them only to be tackled by masky. jessica and jay manage to run away and meet up at a hotel only to be tracked down by the operator. jay tackles it and he and jessica are knocked out and  have their memories wiped.
then jay wakes up in entry 27 with no idea what’s happened, and posts about exactly that to his youtube channel. both alex and totheark have been paying attention to jay’s channel and they both find out that jay and jessica are vulnerable at the same time. they don’t know exactly where jay and jessica are right off the bat, but jay made it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere. so it’s a race against the clock to see who can get to them first while not drawing any unwanted attention.
finally it’s jessica’s disappearance, split between entry 33 and 76! jay has Just posted about how he’s gonna leave with jessica to try to figure things out, and hoodie and masky both know that if alex had already found the hotel then that would’ve push him into action. So that’s what leads to 76 with hoodie and masky grabbing jessica to try to get her out of danger. masky carries her down the stairs and then sets her down outside before heading back into the hotel.
Cutting to entry 33, that’s when he confronts jay in his hotel room. At the time it Looked like he was attacking jay because we didn’t have the context, but this was Immediately following him trying to save jessica and him Successfully saving them from alex shooting them. Moreover, he didn’t actually try to hit or overpower jay (and considering he just finished carrying a grown unconscious woman over his shoulders down the stairs he definitely could’ve).
What’s more likely is that hoodie was going to carry jessica to safety while masky carried jay, and he only Didn’t because jay was conscious to fight him off. (why jessica was unconscious probably has to do with why jay and jessica lost their memories in the first place and why jessica didn’t seem to think anything was off at the end of the series, that’s to say that slenderman wanted alex to get to them and was likely thrown by hoodie and masky’s presence). masky was hauling ass because he was trying to get to jay before alex did and he was taken off guard by the fact that jay wasn’t out like jessica was !
so then back to 76! jessica wakes up and hoodie tries to help her through the woods only to get shot at by alex, alex tricks her into trusting him and tries to convince her that they’re both hoodie’s victims. when alex tries to take his second chance to kill her she grabs his gun and hoodie comes to beat his ass ! hoodie stayed close when he ran off so he could catch alex off guard ! Unfortunately the operator gets to her while they’re fighting each other off. it’s unclear exactly what happens but jessica gets taken and we see alex put his gun away. personally I think jessica was knocked out rather than shot and he was just retrieving it from her before she got taken (seeing as she’s still alive by the end of the series) though what happened to hoodie isn’t exactly clear beyond the fact that he lived.
so ! to put all of that shorter fjdksl hoodie and masky’s goal here was to protect jay and jessica from alex. masky came to stop alex from shooting them the first time and they both tracked jessica and jay down after they lost their memories because they knew alex would take the opportunity to try to kill them again. masky not being able to grab jay (or more accurately, getting throttled by jay jldsf) meant that he wasn’t there to help hoodie defend jessica against alex leading to her getting taken anyways. but it scared jay into escaping the hotel without having to encounter alex himself. That’s why jay said he understood. it isn’t just that tim had no control over his alter’s actions, it was that masky and hoodie Looked threatening but were actually trying to help. It’s just that tim had no way to know that when he found the tape originally.
and finally ! what I think is an example of masky coming off as threatening because of the operator’s influence, but specifically on Mood rather than action! This being the events of entry 61 and 62!
Hoodie wants to force jay and tim to team up, and he does so by acting as the villain to get jay to move again (while he had masky pose in front of the camera before it’s more likely that he planned and edited entry ####). He takes tim’s pills, tim goes into a seizure, the video cuts out, and hoodie tells jay to go find him. this is followed by masky attacking jay in the woods and them both waking up in the abandoned house in rosswood.
now before I say anything else, let's contrast this with jay in entry 82 and 77. jay tries to stake out the rosswood tunnel (the last place jessica was seen in the tape before she disappeared), and after not finding anything he calls tim to apologize, tell him that he understood, and to say he wanted to work with him again. He’s scared and he says that he thinks he’s seeing things, he Specifically sees the same abandoned building that they woke up in during 62 Moving Closer to him. Jay then has a seizure, the video cuts out, and tim never gets the phone call. the next time we see jay chronologically is 77, where he comes to tim with zip ties and his (piddly) pocket knife to try to “interrogate” him about jessica.
we don’t see exactly what happened to him after the video cuts out, but we know whatever it was affected his memory, made him far more aggressive and paranoid, and played into his anxiety and fears notching them up to 11 (like him shouting that it “wouldn’t have been (his) fault” when tim says that jessica is gone playing into the fact that jay blames himself for losing jessica when she was one room over).
it’s the exact same situation with masky. 61 and 62 follows tim and jay’s blowout in the parking lot and jay sharing tim’s medical records online. at this point tim had a lot of anxiety and frustration surrounding jay. so when masky woke up after tim’s seizure, shaken up by the operator, he saw jay as a threat to tim’s safety in the same way that jay saw Tim as a threat keeping him from finding jessica. the operator is Most Likely responsible for teleporting them both to the abandoned house and teleporting masky specifically to the woods !
the operator causing aggression is pretty much a constant ! though how much a specific person reacts to it depends on the situation, the amount of exposure they’ve had and how recent it was, and how much Help the person has access to (like medication, support, and solidarity). alex became an Extremely aggressive person, and it wasn’t just because of the stress of the situation. he self isolated and didn’t have access to medication. he fell into paranoia and catastrophizing, deciding that everyone around him either deserved to be mercy killed to save them from the operator or saw them as a threat spreading the sickness to other people.
That’s why he went easier on jay at first. He was trying to kill him from the beginning, but he tolerated more from him because he saw jay as someone that needed to be saved from his fate. It isn’t until his mental health declined even further and jay continued to get in his way that his attitude changed, giving us who he was at the very end.
we also know that audio/visual glitches are signs of the operator, and you’ll notice the audio glitching when people yell Throughout the series. the three standouts for me being alex yelling “I’ll kill you” after hoodie and masky try to smash his head in with a rock, tim yelling “but what if I’m right” while he’s spiraling thinking about how he could’ve been the cause of all of this while telling jay about his backstory, and jay yelling “I need it” after tim refuses to leave the camera for him when jay is zip tied on the floor.
the operator causes paranoia and aggression as a baseline, it just affects everyone to different degrees at different times depending on their access to help and how direct the operator is being with its influence, hoodie and masky are no different !
that doesn’t make their actions Okay, alex isn’t off the hook for Murder, but it does make them all Victims and it does mean that they deserved help (think back to tim offering to help alex during their final confrontation, even after everything).
All of that to say ! while hoodie and masky come off as threatening, their overall goals are to be helpful, they just tend to act extremely because of the situation they’re in on top of dealing with the same operator-influenced aggression and paranoia that everyone else is trying to manage. This is only emphasized by the method of storytelling deliberately obscuring the order of events to make them appear more threatening than they really are on top of their own attempts to scare jay out of harm's way.
I’ve gone on just, frankly way too long. so ! if you’re interested in more meta about how mental illness ties into the core Themes of marble hornets as well as misconceptions in the fandom (and specifically some dunking on night mind’s masky theory jlkfsd) I have a google doc where I’ve been just, chewing on it here (link)
it’s written like it’s laying out points for a response video that I’m frankly never gonna make, but I’ve been putting off making a post about it instead for This Exact Reason (this post is just over 5 pages in google docs jlkfds). and if you’d like to do more research on DID and OSDD there’s an Excellent playlist with resources ! the uploader has OSDD and they have other playlists as well that are worth checking out too ^^ (link)
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draganasimpsforjeff · 3 years
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Hunting Dogs: Chapter Seven (proxies x reader)
Age was nothing but a number to them and most, if not, all the time it meant nothing. Like part of the human race, you can die at any moment but you take precautions and you try not to be a dumbass and take care of yourself and you'll be fine. Every year was celebrated with a birthday, announcing that you were still alive to your loved ones.
But when you're a proxy, there is nothing to celebrate. If there was, it was just to get by another day. They didn't live life by miles and those are limitless and no one knows when those miles will stop. For proxies, if you reached the age of 25, it was like a big deal in a way that not many men got to see or get to. Yes, in the mansion there are countless beings older than such, but there was less pressure as there was on these three men.
It was complete hell for Hoodie and Masky when they first started as Slender thought he would need to test every aspect of them in anyway he could, even if that meant putting them near death. But, they are over the age of 25. Although, don't be a complete idiot if you think that makes them safer. It doesn't. It just means they got past a milestone that a great percentage didn't have the opportunity to get to. Toby was the youngest out of them, 23, almost 24. But hell, no great being like a Slenderman could threaten to ruin his life when the damn boy does it to himself everyday. The only difference is that He could make it the ultimate ending and act like Toby never existed and he would expect the same from others.
So, in ways the three men relationship was complicated, much like a Zeppelin Bend, when they worked together they were stable, so tight-knit that they knew each other's next move, thoughts, feelings.etc., they could be stable when they wanted to and be the scariest goddamn creatures ever known to man. But, if something was in the way or their thoughts didn't link together, the connection between all three was nonexistent. Like it wasn't bad enough that after a good day and a mission completed, they would cut the cord so fucking quick and lash out, becoming blood thirsty monsters that just wanted each other dead.
And who could blame them? The stress of them job mixed in with their emotions, the need to survive, and whether or not a mission was high-impact or not they were expected and felt the need to have the right. And you wanna know what their treat was for not fucking up? Not a nice dinner, no hot baths with bubbles, no 'here take a day or two to rest' or any bullshit like that. It was, Congratulations! You get to live another day! Now go back to your dim lit rooms with just a desk, bed, nightstand and closet, that half the time it looks like they had nothing to themselves. Whatever they had, they could fit in a backpack, but what was the point of personalizing a room to your liking for your own self expression when there was a chance you could be gone and hell... they didn't even know who they were, self identity  was a crucial factor here.
Sure, they may remember bits and pieces of what they like or, rather, what they thought they liked, but it was all blurry and covered in smudges, like imagine going to see ophthalmologist and instead of having you look through lens to correct your vision, it's worse and it's covered in black shit, yeah, that was basically they're mind. Amnesia though was the worst for Masky, but not like it was new to him at all. he suffered through it during his childhood and teenage years up till now. Hoodie just stopped caring even though he does miss his life in college and he became so invested in his study of Psychology and maybe that's something that comes in handy with this job, studying emotions, body language, and movement from a person or anything to be honest,  the best course of action, why someone may be acting a certain way(most of this thought goes towards Toby) Masky lets himself be easy to read, even with the mask, nothing could hide an animal like him...unless sedated. Although, Hoodie does remember Alex and how he was no longer Brian..okay well, he was Brian, but...not the same.
It's life, going through life lessons and you're in the process of character development, it was like that but it happened so quick for him that he was like a switch, he doesn't remember the last time he felt 'normal'.
Now, Toby. It was like a slow boil, adding in ingredients, not following recipe and wondering what was gonna be created. So much had happened to him with bullies, his step dad and whoever else wanted to get on his nerves. He didn't have much but Lyra and that was pretty much all he remembers now. Bits and pieces of his past, only just enough to make sense of why he should be grateful for Slender and why Toby has taken this position among the proxies. But he didn't mind it so much, why the fuck would he want to remember his past- apart from Lyra. Yeah, sure it hurt and feels like there is a piece of him missing all the time, but, at least there was a reason for him being so unhinged.
"Wake up, Tobs." Hoodie says, kicking the edge of the mattress a little, trying to stir Toby awake with his best ability to not also make him upset. If there was one thing that he could agree with Masky on, it's that Toby becomes the biggest dick ever when forced to wake up- that or he's whiny. He got no response back from Toby and he sighs, kicking again, but again, no response. "Dammit...Masky, did you force the sleeping pills down his throat?' He growls, looking over his shoulder at Masky who was leaning against the wall by the door.
"And have the possibility of me having to carry him around like a limp dick that he is? No thanks. Maybe he just hasn't gotten enough sleep lately." he shrugs. Hoodie sighs, nodding as he looks down at Toby, who as he was an active sleeper, his legs were tangled up in the blankets, pillow tossed over his face, his body angled in a weird way and the bed sheets were pulled off.
"NO!" he suddenly shot up, the pillow flying and his eyes widened and like he was out of his mind, psychotic almost, but Hoodie knew better. He rushes over as the younger one breathes heavily, cold sweat breaking around his skin as he starts to shake.  Hoodie sits near his legs, making sure to get in his line of vision. He doesn't snap or touch him as that would trigger Toby and it's not a good thing to snap someone out of an episode like this. "Hey, hey.. It's okay, You're safe." Hoodie says softly, moving his gloves hands in different motions and directions, making Toby focus in and follow them. "Breathe, inhale...1..2..3...hold...1...2..3..4 exhale." he continues this for a few more minutes until he knows that Toby's breathing was back to normal and was blinking, looking around at his surroundings, bringing himself back to reality.
"T-thanks. " He mumbles, he hates having to get help over something he should know how to deal with already. He's had these fucking nightmares for years and yet, they always feel like the first time and remain fresh on his mind until he snaps out of it. Masky swallows thickly, watching the two with mild interest before noticing the change outside. "It's not raining anymore." he says, making the other two look at the nearest window and nod, agreeing. "Let's get back to the mansion. Grab the things we need and see if BEN can figure anything with the girl." He says, standing up slowly from the bed as his back still hurts from when he fell off the ledge. He recovered mostly, thanks to Slender but his spine did give him a hard time whenever he had to bend a certain way. He use to be the type of sleeper to be on his back, but after the injury he had to figure out another way to sleep.
The men got situated, tightening their shoes and securing their items. Medication check, gun and bullets check, making sure they didn't leave anything behind of theirs or something that they may have missed in the apartment before leaving.
It was still chilly and their clothes were damp, but it was better than nothing and they were sure they spotted a laundry mat a few blocks down. Masky collected some quarters around the house so, at least they could get their hoodies warm and dry. After that, they made their way to the mansion.
"I don't know ma, I already paid for the room so I might as well use it." your mom called you this morning, wanting to visit you or vice versa. She thought that you could use a little break from working so hard and being 'so alone' at your place. Which, you appreciate the thought and could definitely get away from all the bullshit that was happening, but you were scared to go back to your apartment and pack what you needed. Plus, you didn't know if the men were there and just waiting for you. The thought makes goosebumps spread over your arms and neck, rubbing it nervously as you were forming an ache from the cheap bed. "I know, honey, but here, I can pay you the money you spent and take you out. It's been a very long time since I've seen you and I miss you sooooo much." you couldn't help but smile at that. Who could say no to getting paid for the money they wasted, getting spoiled and whatever else would happen.
For fucks sake, it wouldn't hurt you and you wouldn't have to think about being hunted and feeling like you can't close your eyes for even a few hours of sleep. "Okay, well, you know I don't have a car-"
"I'll pick you up. Just give me the address again and I'll be there in a few hours, mama had lots of coffee." she giggles, making you shake your head as she was a bit hyper when she has more than three cups of coffee. "Alright, just be careful. I'll text you the address." you say, stuffing items back into your bag and grabbing your keys and wallet, letting your pockets swallow them. "Okay, bye, love you." she says and you say the same, hanging up.
You blow out a breath, making your bangs lift up a little as you muster enough courage, picking up the bag and leaving the hotel room.
Please let things go back to normal.
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brashierc · 5 years
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Waitin.
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You've been best friends with Connor for years. It felt like you two had been conjoined at the hip your whole life, and practically you had been. Lately though, it’s been an adjustment for the both of you, with him touring with Shawn and you going to school straight out of High School. 
Shawn had Brian on tour, Alessia had Olivia so it was only natural for Connor to fly you out the second your classes let out for summer.
You’ve been with him for a few shows now. Orlando is the next show, and you have a day to yourselves and it’s when you notice that something is up with Connor.
Connor is a quiet and shy kid, always has been. But with you? He’s more open, speaks freely about what’s on his mind, and isn’t shy to 2 am laughter. 
Today, after an outing with Shawn at the beach that lasted about an hour for some publicity your noticing that Connor is curled into the corner of the couch in his room, phone in hand, bottom lip trapped between his teeth. 
You wander over, plopping yourself at the end of the couch where his feet are, nudging his leg to get his attention. He looks up with his eyes only. You both just stare at each other for a moment, communicating with your eyes, and when his start to water a little you stand, pushing him forward by his shoulder so you can slip behind him.
He sighs, turning onto his stomach so he can lay on you, rest his head in the crook between your neck and shoulder. You smile softly when he gets comfy, hands reaching up to scratch his back softly. 
He hums when you add a little pressure, letting your hands glide all the way up to the top of his head and back down as far as you can reach down his back. He presses a soft kiss to your neck and snuggles deeper into you, letting your warmth and smell soothe his restless brain.
“I’m here when your ready Bubba.” You whisper into his ear, letting your eyes flutter shut. 
His arms wrap around your waist, locking you closer against him. It’s like he can’t get close enough to you, he needs you wrapped around him, and he needs to be wrapped around you. 
Your cheeks reddened when he reached back and moved your leg to curl around his. This is such an intimate position, and while this wasn’t the first time you’ve laid like this, you have feelings this go around that you shouldn’t be having for your best friend. 
Lately he’s been a little clingier, a little touchier, and a little sweeter. You’ve chalked it up to Shawn’s personality rubbing off on him, but there’s the small voice in the back of your brain telling you that he might feel the same and that he means more than he probably does with these little moves he’s been pulling.
“My brain won’t stop racing.” He mutters.
“What’s it racing over?” You whisper, playing with his hair now.
“You.” 
Your heart stops, and a cold chill runs down your whole body. You gulp and freeze in place. 
“Brian has a crush on you.” He continues. “Last night, at the arena, when you stopped to say hi before heading to your seats with Manny,” He groans a little, “You were in that pretty dress, the one I picked out when you were online shopping.” 
You nod, knowing what you wore, and smiling at the memory of shopping with Connor over facetime, letting him log into your account on a clothing website so he could pick out some outfits for you. 
“You’re so pretty in that dress.” He sighs, pulling back at little to peer at you with those big blue eyes. “Anyway, you left to go to your seats and Brian wouldn’t shut the fuck up about you.” 
You pull back a little, brows furrowed. “So that’s a bad thing?” 
“Yes.” He drops his head to your shoulder, groaning.
“Wow, thanks Con.” You start to shift under him, not grasping what he was trying to say. 
That little voice in your head telling you that he was into you as well now making a 180 switch and asking you how you could ever think he might like you. 
The second you start to move he’s reacting, suddenly hearing himself and how you’re taking what he’s just said. 
“No,” He holds you tighter so you can’t move. “It’s a bad thing because you’re my girl.” He whispers, waiting for you to react. 
You gasp and look at him, blue eyes bright and staring straight into your soul. “I’m what?” 
“You’re my girl.” 
You smile, cheeks pink, body buzzing in excitement. 
“I almost punched him,” Connor goes on. “Talking about you in ways only I want to do. Talking this game like, ‘Connor bro I’m gonna ask her out, she’s so hot.’ Like no you’re not, she’s mine. And like yeah you’re hot, but fuck you’re gorgeous and beautiful and you deserve someone who’s gonna tell you that everyday.” 
“You do tell me everyday.” You trace his nose so he’ll finally snap out of his rant and realize he’s there, with you. 
He blinks three times before it clicks, before his brain tells him that he just told you that he has feelings for you. 
“Gonna kiss me or not Bubba?” You grin at him, giggling nervously.
He sighs in relief, leaning forward and capturing your lips in the softest kiss. He’s gentle, polite and a perfect gentleman leaving it at just a kiss and not taking it too far too fast.
“You’re my girl?” He asks softly when he pulls away.
“I’ve always been your girl Bubba.” You smile, leaning up and kissing him again.
**
“Good Morning Gorgeous.” Connor kisses your bare shoulder, arms securely holding you. 
“Morning.” You breathe out, eyes still shut, back against his chest as he kisses a line of kisses up your neck. 
“Just got a message from Shawn, he wants to meet up with Brian for breakfast after the gym.” 
“What time is it?” You ask.
“5.” 
“Connor!” You whine, burrowing yourself further into the sheets. “It’s too fucking early.”
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to get a ‘Good Morning Kiss’ before I get ready for the gym.” 
You roll over, huffing as you claw yourself out of the sheets, peaking an eye at him. He looks heavenly. Morning sun making his slightly tanned skin glow, hair tousled from your romp in the sheets, lips swollen from you biting on them. 
“Good morning.” You lean up and peck his lips. 
He smiles, cheeks pink. “Best morning ever.” He exhales, flopping onto his back. 
“I wanna go back to sleep, can I?” You whine, lips pouted at him. 
He grins, leaning up and pecking your lips four more times before nodding and clambering out of bed. “Sleep Gorgeous, I’ll come get you when we’re done with the gym.” 
** 
It was 8 by the time Connor was back and dragging you down to meet the boys at the nice continental breakfast the hotel you were staying at offered. Connor was giggling at your grumpy morning face, promising you they had iced coffee at the counter and that he’d make your plate. 
“I wanna sleeeeeeeep.” You whined, leaning into him as the elevator door closed. 
“You’re so cute in the morning.” 
“Connor, you woke me up so early, you kept me up so late. I’m tired.” You were pouting, and totally aware that you were acting like a child, but he was eating it up so you didn’t mind your childish ways.
“We’ll take a nap today, okay?” He wraps a strand of your hair around his ringed finger, letting you lean into him. “I already did a shoot with Shawn this morning after the gym, the sunrise was beautiful so we used that as the backdrop. But since we already did the shoot I’ve got the afternoon free until I need to be there at the final soundcheck. We’ll nap, and cuddle.” 
You nod into his chest, smiling when he kissed your forehead. You lean your head up, puckering your lips, eyes closed, asking for a kiss. He gladly gives you what you want, pulling away when the elevator door opened. 
He lead you to the table Shawn was already sitting at, fingers tangled with yours, dropping you off at a seat, kissing the top of your head before going to get you your coffee and breakfast.
Shawn looks up, watching Connor walk away from you and then glancing at your blushed complexion. “Hi.” He smiles. “That was new.” He nods towards Connor.
“Um, yeah.” You sit up straighter, playing with the strings of the hoodie you’re wearing.
“And you’re in his hoodie.” Shawn hums, sipping at his cup of tea.
You look down and blush harder at the fact that you were in Connor’s hoodie, he must of done that on purpose when he offered it for you. 
“This is gonna be a fun morning.” Shawn grins into his cup as he watches Brian walk over and take the seat next to him. 
You look over your shoulder at Connor, he’s buttering toast for you. 
“Y/n, hey.” Brian says catching your attention. 
“Bri,” Shawn starts but Brian shoots him a glare that shuts him up with a soft chuckle.
“Y/n I was gonna ask if you had any plans this afternoon?” Brian asks you, sitting up straight in his seat. 
You inhale, eyes flickering to Shawn’s that are now focused on something behind you. 
“Yeah she’s busy.” Connor says, sliding your plate in front of you, and setting your coffee down with a kiss to your cheek. “Iced coffee, and I noticed they had some french vanilla creamer so I put a small pour of that in there for you.” 
“Thank you Bubba.” You smile up at him. 
Brian stares at the two of you with furrowed brows. Shawn’s just laughing, shaking his head at the situation. 
Connor shoots Brian a glare before he walks off to get his own breakfast.
“Brian,” You say softly.
“Don’t.” He shakes his head. “I should have known.” 
“I’m sorry,” You cringe, feeling so uncomfortable.
“Don’t be, it’s okay.” He shakes his head. 
“It’s just,” You sigh, looking over at Connor for a moment and then back to Shawn and Brian. “I’ve been in love with him for a long time, and this is new, and things were said last night. But,” You giggle. “Brian, I kind of have to thank you.”
 “What?” He and Shawn say at the same time. 
“I guess you said something about me at the last show,” Brian blushes so hard his ears turn red. “But whatever you said kicked his ass into gear, because,” You look over and smile when you catch him staring at you. “Now we’re something.” You shrug.
“You guys are cute, that’s for sure.” Shawn nods. 
Connor walks back and takes the seat next to you, noticing you haven’t touched your food yet. “What’s wrong? Did I forget something?” He asks. 
“No,” You shake your head. “Was waitin on you.” 
He smiles, staring at you. “Waitin on me?” 
“Have been for awhile.” You shrug, giggling as Shawn and Brian choke on their food at burn you just threw Connor’s way. 
“Yeah well,” Connor shrugs, leaning closer to you, “I wanted to make sure everything was perfect.” 
//
Written by: @shawnm521
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watchmegetobsessed · 5 years
Text
Just you - Shawn Mendes
summary: you visit Shawn on tour and get jealous because he spends so much time with Allessia and you have a fight about it that ends with the two of you getting into a not too serious car accident
masterlist
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You wouldn’t say you are a jealous type. Not the crazy type, at least. You had your fair share of jealous moments when some girls just didn’t know where the boundaries are and crossed the lines, but you also did a great job reminding yourself that these girls are no threats to you. Shawn is with you, he will probably never see them again, so sometimes you even let them have their moments knowing he would be coming home to you, sleep next to you and wake up next to you. It took you months, but you found your peace of mind with his lifestyle so you never thought anything would bring that bitter jealousy out of you again. You were wrong.
When you arrive to Europe to join him for an entire week on tour you couldn’t be happier. What more could you wish for than your boyfriend you loved whole-heartedly, some of the most beautiful European cities, the most delicious foreign foods and probably the best vacation ever. When Shawn picks you up at the airport you can’t control your out-bursting happiness as you basically throw yourself into his arms.
“I missed you so much, baby!” he breathes into your neck embracing you in the tightest hug as you cling onto him for dear life.
“I missed you too,” you mumble before leaning back and capturing his lips in a sweet welcome kiss finally.
“Come on, that was enough PDA for the photographers,” he grins at you taking your bags from you and leading you out to the car.
“So, what’s the plan for today? I’m pretty hungry, so can we have lunch somewhere?” you ask as you two are following the directions from the GPS, maneuvering through the beautiful streets of Barcelona.
“Glad to hear that, because we are having lunch with Alessia and Brian.”
“Oh! Do I have time to freshen up a bit at the hotel?” you ask checking yourself out in the blank screen of your phone. You just touched down after the longest flight, your hair is in a messy bun and you have the smallest amount of makeup on since you didn’t want to travel with a full glam on, which is not really your style anyway.
“You can get changed, but we have to leave quite fast, if that’s alright.” Shawn glances at you apologetically as he gives your thigh a gentle squeeze.
He was right, once you arrive to the hotel you basically have time only to gat changed from your worn-out jeans into a longer sundress with a knitted jumper above it. Shawn makes sure to assure you that you still look stunning and you just decide to let go of the urge to look spotless. You are here to spend time with him, you shouldn’t waste time.
You have met Brian several times, being one of Shawn’s closest friends you know him well, but this is the first time you see Alessia, though you’ve heard a lot about her as well. Shawn seems to like her a lot, he told a lot of stories about the stuff they did on tour and you are genuinely happy he had someone to let loose with during tour.
When you walk into the restaurant you immediately spot Brian and a moment later Alessia turns around and smile in your way as well.
“Hey! So good to have you here!” Brian pulls you into a tight hug that you return happily.
“Thanks, Brian. I missed you,” you smile at him.
“Missed you too, girl.”
“Y/N, this is Alessia. Alessia, this is my girlfriend, Y/N,” Shawn introduces the two of you to each other and you turn to her with a smile.
You’re not sure if you should go for a hug or just a handshake, but she decides it for you wrapping her arms around you warmly.
“I’m so happy to finally meet you!” she squeals cheerfully and it makes you chuckle at her enthusiasm. “Shawn has told so much about you!”
“He basically wouldn’t shut up about you when you two are apart,” Brian comments as you lean back from Alessia.
“Sorry if he was annoying,” you say laughing, glancing at Shawn who is just rolling his eyes at all of you, but you can see the small smile hiding on his perfect lips.
You all take a seat at the table, the waiter soon arrives and takes your order before your little group of four gets into the anecdotes of all the crazy stories that happened during tour. You listen to them talking about their favorite memories quite blissfully, it makes you happy to know Shawn has been having the time of his life, but also you can’t help but feel… left out.
“He is such a sucker for tasting all kind of beers wherever we go, but then he wouldn’t stop going to the bathroom every five minutes!” Alessia laughs at Shawn as they are telling me about their small culinary adventures.
“That happens, when you drink four different beers in one sitting!” he tries to defend himself.
“Yeah, and also, it causes you to stay up until four am and nag me out of sleep to jam with you in your room,” she chuckles shaking her head.
A sudden rush of distress runs through your body, which is quite unfamiliar. The thought of Shawn being alone with a girl at three or two am after drinking is just not something you feel comfortable with. Your eyes wander over to Alessia and you let yourself take a closer look at her.
Her makeup free skin looks flawless, her long brown curls are bouncing with each of her movements and even though she is wearing a simple oversized hoodie with ripped jeans she is owning that look. She is the kind of natural beauty guys get along with so well and fall in love with even easier.
“You okay?” Shawn’s gentle voice brings you back from your thoughts, his large hand takes yours and he laces your fingers together.
“Yeah, just… zoned out for a bit. It’s just the jetlag,” you smile at him and he doesn’t question it. He presses a kiss to your forehead as you two turn back to Brian and Alessia who are arguing about something.
You manage to push your anxious thoughts about Shawn and Alessia to the back of your head once you leave the restaurant and you go your separate ways. Shawn made sure to have the afternoon off so you two can spend as much time together as possible. Joined by two guards the two of you go for a romantic walk since this is your first time in Spain and he is eager to show you what he has already discovered. You run into fans here and there, Shawn patiently stops for photos, but he also lets everyone know he doesn’t have time and for your biggest surprise fans understand it and they wish the two of you a nice time together.
When you get back to the hotel your feet hurt, but you don’t mind it, you had an amazing time with him and you would trade it for anything. You have dinner at the hotel and afterwards you just chill in your room, watching movies on the large TV and enjoying each other’s company. Shawn’s phone buzzes on the nightstand around ten pm.
“Who is it?” you ask without looking away from the TV.
“Just Alessia. She and Josiah had an impromptu photoshoot and the pictures are so dumb,” he chuckles. Pushing yourself up you see him flicking through the photos she just sent, but you can’t really focus on anything else than Alessia hitting him up at ten in the night when she knows so damn well that you are here and you two are trying to make up for the time you spent apart.
“Uh huh, seems like fun.” You let the sarcastic comment slip before you can stop yourself and Shawn immediately notices it. He lifts his head up and looks at you.
“What’s the matter?” he asks, but you refuse to look at him, you keep your eyes fixated on the TV. “Babe?” he pokes at your side and you sigh slowly shifting your gaze to his gorgeous face.
“Nothing,” you mumble rolling closer to him on the bed. You slide a hand to his chest feeling his steady heartbeat under your touch, his body radiates warmth and you wish you could spend this time with him without doubts and problems since once you go back you won’t see him for more than a month again. Your rational side pushes the urge to fight back and you manage to smile at him.
“I’m just tired, nothing is wrong.”
He cups your face pulling you closer and kissing you gently on the lips.
“I’m sorry, you must be half asleep after your flight and everything. Let’s sleep, alright?” He smiles at you reaching for the remote and switching the TV off.
His arms find your waist under the cover as he pulls you close to his body, your back perfectly fitting against his hard chest as he spoons you.
“I love you, Baby,” he murmurs into your ear kissing the soft spot behind it.
“Love you too,” you sigh as you let yourself slowly drift to sleep.
The next day is far more hectic compared to the last one. Shawn has a show in the evening so he has to be at the venue a few hours prior leaving far less freetime for the two of you. After ordering room service for breakfast you run errands for souvenirs for your friends and family to take home, this pretty much takes up the whole noon, then lunch with the team, a quick siesta at the hotel room which quickly turns into passionate “so good to have you here” sex and napping afterwards. It’s past three pm when you get ready and meet the rest of the team at the lobby. Alessia appears with Josiah by her side, laughing on something he just said and seeing you she runs up and hugs you kindly.
You feel awkward around her. You don’t want anyone to notice how you wish she wouldn’t be around, but that’s basically impossible since she is the opening act and part of the team, so you just try to act like everything is okay.
Luckily, you don’t have to share the car with anyone but Shawn, so you arrive to the venue after some serious car PDA, for your biggest liking.
You take a quick walk around the stadium as it is still empty, waiting to be filled with thousands of screaming fans in just a couple of hours. You watch Shawn do his soundcheck, sitting on the ground in front of the stage, his voice fills the whole place beautifully and you wish you could hear him sing like this every night.
“I’m so proud of you,” you tell him as the two of you head backstage, he puts and arm around your shoulders pulling you close to his side and kissing the top of your head.
“Thank you, Baby,” he smiles down at you lovingly.
You hang out with the team for a while and then Shawn has to leave for his usual Q&A and you decide it’s better if you listen to it from the far where they can’t see you. Finding the perfect spot behind the curtains you hear them start the session, Shawn answering their questions one after the other.
“Do you think Alessia did good so far as your opening act?” You hear one of the girls’ question and you immediately perk up a bit waiting for the answer.
“Yeah, she is amazing. I love her music, I love the way she performs and she is a cool person to have around. I’m glad she was the one who came, it’s like having one of your best friends on the road with you, she just gets me so well, so it’s all good,” Shawn replies and your throat dries out hearing his nice and loving words.
You can’t make yourself stay, so you decide to wait for him in his dressing room until he finishes with the questions. You are trying your best to keep calm and don’t have a jealousy rage right here, right there. You trust Shawn, he would never cheat on you, there is no way they are more than just friends. But you can’t help it, maybe it’s all the time you spent apart, maybe it’s something else, you don’t know.
When Shawn is back you try your best to hide your feelings not wanting to stress him before the show. He goes onto the stage without knowing any of your doubts, but you know you have to have a talk with him afterwards.
Finding the perfect spot next to the stage you make yourself comfortable on a huge box and watch the show from there. It’s obvious this is his true element, he belongs on stage for sure. The connection between him and the screaming crowd is just unbelievable and the energy he channels blows your mind. You almost change your mind about the talking part, but then the show comes to its end. You head back to the dressing room before him, wanting to wait for him there. You hear him coming from far away, but right before he would open the door he is stopped by none other than Alessia and you hear the whole conversation clearly from the other side of the room.
“You were amazing!” she cheers on him and you are pretty sure they are hugging.
“You crushed it as well. I’m happy you took my advice on that high note, the one we practiced back in the hotel in Bologna.”
“Yeah, after you left my room I practiced some and we agreed with the band to give it a try this time,” she chuckles, and all you can think about the two of them alone in a hotel room at three am, getting cozier than you would approve.
A few moments later the door opens and Shawn appears with a beaming smile on his face, his hair damp, his skin is shiny from his sweat. He moves for a kiss, but then he sees your face and immediately stops.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” he asks worry lacing through his voice.
“So nice to have Alessia around, right?” You come out harsher than you thought, but you kept it inside for too long.
“What? What do you mean?” he asks in total confusion.
“I mean that you seem very happy to travel Europe with her, she is nice, shares the same interests and I guess you two hit it off while I was back at home.”
“Y/N, are you trying to tell me you think I cheated on you with Alessia?” he asks with wide eyes. You look away, feeling a bit guilty as he forms his words, but you still stand your ground.
“Ever since I arrived she is everywhere. You guys obviously enjoyed your time traveling, you spend nights in her room jamming after drinking and God knows what else happens when you visit her when you can’t sleep?”
“You can’t be serious right now.” He chuckles, but it’s far from being a cheerful laughter.
“See, your first reaction is making me look like I’m crazy, but you haven’t said it’s not true,” you spat feeling your anger building up in your chest.
“Because it’s nonsense!” he raises his voice and it’s just making you rage even more.
“Sure, but I’m pretty sure at least one of you has feelings for the other if not both! You know what? I’m out of here,” you growl as you push your way past him, out of the dressing room and head to the exit, Shawn hot on your heels.
“Where are you going? We are in Barcelona, you can’t just run free!”
“Oh, watch me!” you laugh frantically, but truth is you have no idea where you are going, you just need some space to clear your head. People are getting interested in what is going on even thought you had no intention in making a scene.
“Babe, please come back and let’s talk!” Shawn begs trying to stop you, but you just wouldn’t.
You finally walk out and look for the car you arrived with and there it is, with the driver next to it. You march over to him with Shawn continuously begging you to stop.
“Hey, can I go for a drive, please?” you ask the driver who looks back at you curiously.
“Don’t give her the keys,” Shawn tells him making you roll your eyes at him.
“Don’t listen to him. I need the keys, please.” You hold your hand out and poor guy is so confused. Shawn must look threatening with his height and muscular figure compared to the shorter, skinnier guy.
“Okay, I don’t want to take part in it,” he mumbles handing me the keys and walking away, earning a frustrated growl from Shawn.
“Babe, don’t do this. Don’t drive like this,” he pleads as I get into the car.
“I need to leave,” you sigh fumbling with finding the ignition. Shawn, realizing you probably won’t give up on your will to leave he quickly runs to the passenger side and gets into the car. “Shawn!”
“You’re not leaving on your own in a foreign country, Y/N! No matter how mad you are at me!” he growls annoyed and you just give up knowing there is no chance you can get him out of that car.
“Please don’t talk, okay?” You fume at him and he nods his head as he buckles himself up.
Leaving the venue you start driving wherever you feel like the road is taking you. The streets of Barcelona are so much different than anywhere in the US. Shawn’s phone goes off a few times, but he soon mutes it ignoring all the calls. It’s probably Andrew, raging where he went without a word and you feel guilty for getting him into trouble, but you are still angry.
“So are you?” you suddenly ask speaking out your thoughts.
“Am I what?” he asks turning to you. It’s weird to see him on the passenger seat, he is always the one who drives, this might even be the first ever time of you sitting behind the wheel with Shawn in the car even though you’ve been together for over a year now.
“Are you cheating on me with her?” you ask, the words almost burning up your tongue.
“Of course I’m not!” He sighs sadly as you reach a red light and stop. Turning to him there is worry all over his beautiful face and you just want to cup his cheeks and pull him into a kiss, but you have to remind yourself that this is not the time for being cute.
“Do you like her?” you ask, now more like desperate, not angry anymore.
“I like her, as a friend. Nothing more. My heart and all my love is yours, Baby.”
He reaches out and caresses your cheek, you basically melt into his touch. From the corner of your eyes you see the light turning, but you let yourself enjoy this truthful moment a little bit more. You slowly reach for the wheel, ready to start driving again, and then things happen so fast.
Even though you have green light, a car coming from your left totally ignores it drives through its red light, rolling into the crossroads. You see the headlights and hear Shawn’s voice at the same time.
“Y/N!” he shouts putting an arm across your chest with the intention of keeping you safe. They hit the break a bit before you do, but the crash is still noticeable. You feel your whole body yanking to the side as the car hits your side, the airbags go off and your face smashes against it, but you don’t lose your consciousness. Your ears go mute just for a few minutes before shouting hits them, strangers run up to the car as you turn to your side to check Shawn.
A grimace is sitting on his face as he shuts his eyes closed then opens them turning to you with horror in them. Seeing you looking back at him calms him down a bit.
“Are you okay?” he asks a bit out of his breath.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Just as you say this you move your left hand and pain shoots through it making you wince.
“What is it? Where does it hurt?” he asks horrified, but you shake your head.
“It’s fine, don’t worry. Definitely not broken,” you say knowing well that it would hurt a thousand times more if it was broken.
A few minutes later two police cars arrive and officers help you out of the car. You kind of shut everything out until the moment you are on your feet again. You really did just get into a car accident in Barcelona.
Shawn rushes over to you right when the tears start rolling down your cheeks.
“Shh, it’s okay Baby. We are both okay.”
“I’m sorry, it was my fault,” you sob into his chest clinging onto his shirt for dear life.
“It wasn’t! That asshole ran the red light!” He gestures towards the guy from the other car who is out of his car, clearly intoxicated and already in handcuffs. “You didn’t do anything, Baby,” he murmurs into your hair kissing the top of your head. “We are both okay, we’re fine.”
“I’m sorry for being a little bitch,” you sigh finally stopping yourself from crying. “I just lost my head.”
“It’s okay. Everything is okay.”
An hour later you are finally back in the hotel, Andrew almost got a heart attack when Shawn called him and told him what just happened, but the only thing that matters is that no one got hurt.
“Oh my God, you scared the shit out of me!” Alessia comes running towards you at the hotel lobby and she hugs the both of you at the same time. “What the fuck, guys?!”
“It’s alright, an asshole ran the red light, not our fault,” Shawn tells her when she lets go of you.
“Unbelievable. You guys want a drink at the bar? You must be shocked,” she offers, but Shawn shakes his head as he pulls you into his arms carefully.
“We would rather just go to sleep, it was a long day,” he says and Alessia nods understandingly.
The two of you go up to your room and as soon as the door is closed behind you Shawn takes your hand and pulls you close to him.
“I was so scared I would lose you tonight, twice.”
Your heart shatters to pieces as you process his words. He was afraid he would lose you as his girlfriend first, then lose you in life. But luckily, neither of these options happened and tonight’s actions somehow put everything in place.
“I’m sorry. I hope you don’t hate me too much.”
“I could never hate you, I love you so much Baby. Please don’t even think I would want anyone else than you. It’ll always be just you.”
He cups your face in his hands bringing your face up to his and placing small, featherlike kisses to your lips.
“I love you too,” you whisper back, smiling up at him.
“Come on, let’s get into bed. We need to rest.”
651 notes · View notes
rogerina-deacon · 5 years
Note
Could you write hcs of how the boys from Queen would react to your scars? I'm feeling real bad rn and idk.. you don't have to, obviously, but if you do, thanks!
A/N: So I’m not completely sure what type of scars you mean, but given some context clues I’m going to guess self harm scars? If not, let me know and I’ll rewrite this (don’t pay attention to requests being closed for this, if this isn’t what you wanted I’d be more than happy to redo it for you). Also, if anyone reading this is struggling with depression, self-harm, or any unpleasant thoughts along those lines, please seek some form of help and treatment. If you need someone to talk to and relate to, I’m here. I’m not a proper therapist, but I’ve been in therapy for years and am a good listener. But of course, if you can, seek help from a therapist. They can do a much better job than I can.
WARNING: MENTIONS OF SELF HARM
Brian (Three years clean)
When Brian found out you used to harm yourself, it felt like his heart sank into his stomach
His eyes softened and welled as he took your hands in his, moving them to show your inner forearms
“Love, I can’t see them” he noted, squinting to see anything
“It’s been years and they were never that deep, but you can faintly see them if I point them out” You said, and he released your hands as you brought your right index finger to your left wrist and pointed to one
“This was my first, oldest yet most noticeable” You said, pointing out a pale line two inches down from the bottom of your hand
“Holy shit, I can see it… Y/N, love, why did you do this?” He asked, almost pleading as he brushed his calloused thumb over the faded scar, a lone tear escaping his eyes
“Brian, don’t worry about that, it’s all behind me, and I don’t really want to rehash that. I just… figured you should know this part of it, I guess”
“So you don’t want to do this?” He asked, wondering if he needed to be worried about you more than he already was
“No, oh God no! Brian, I’m pretty much over what happened to me. I’ve got coping mechanisms now that work, and my meds control the depression when I do have it. Trust me, babe, I’m fine.” You assured him, making sure he knew that you were doing much better than you were when you created those scars
“Okay, love. But you can talk to me about anything, okay? I am always here for you. Always.” He said, now holding your hands again and lightly shaking them for emphasis
“I know, Bri. Thank you.” You said, nodding your head as it hung, your forehead resting against his
“Any time. I love you.” He said, moving his head to an angle where his lips could reach yours to connect them in a sweet kiss
“I love you too” You replied once he pulled away, and he led you to the couch where you two spent the rest of the day cuddled up together
John (Six months clean, thoughts of relapsing)
When you and John met, it was autumn, so you had an excuse to constantly wear a hoodie
He figured you just got cold easily and never pushed it, and that whenever he tried to take things further and you wouldn’t take it off, he thought you just weren’t ready
And he never brought it up, wanting you to not feel pressured
But months passed, and it was the warmest day yet and there was no way you could survive the day in long sleeves, especially when he had planned a picnic in the park to celebrate the weather
So you figured it was best to tell him that day, and so you invited him inside your flat when he picked you up so you weren’t springing it on him in public
Especially since you were having some thoughts you haven’t had in a while and were planning on asking him for help, and you didn’t exactly want to cry in the park
You were wearing your hoodie, of course, and John was a bit confused, especially since your AC hadn’t been put in yet
“Dear, why are you wearing your hoodie inside?” He said, slightly chuckling as you led him to the couch
“Um, well I don’t normally, but I, uh, I need to tell you something.” You said, and he was concerned right away
“What is it? Have I done something wrong?” He asked, worried he had fucked things up with you
“No, no, John you haven’t done anything wrong. But, um, I did a while ago…” You trailed off, and he seemed confused about this but watched as you peeled off the cotton hoodie, slowly revealing the scars littering your arms
His eyes widened as he stared in disbelief, almost studying them as he looked at the reddened skin, some smooth, others the slightest bit scabbed over as they healed all these months later
“Wait, did you- did you do this to yourself?” He asked, his hand reaching out tentatively, wondering if he could touch them
Nodding, you gave him the okay to brush his fingers along your skin before responding
“Yeah, I um, I was in a really dark place, and this was my way to cope. I haven’t done it in half a year but…”
“But? But what, Y/N?” He asked, noticing the way your eyes seemed distant as you pondered what to say next
“But, um, I’ve been having some thoughts, and I’m kind of scared, John. I feel like I might relapse and I’m scared that I will, that I’ll fuck up six months of progress, that I’ll-” You rambled, but he cut you off, pulling you close into a tight hug, a few tears falling from your eyes and onto John’s t-shirt as he rubbed your back and soothed you
“You won’t. Not with me here to help you. Not with my love and support, not with the love and support of the guys. But if you do, that’s okay. Recovery isn’t perfect. But I will always be here, love, okay?” He said, and you nodded, sniffling a bit as he wiped away the tears from your cheeks
“Now, are you ready for that picnic?” He asked, and you chuckled as you got up with him and made your way to his car, without your hoodie.
Roger (Eight years clean)
“C’mon, love, we’re gonna be late!” He called to you in the bathroom from the bedroom
You were currently sat on the toilet just staring at your arm, squinting as you looked at the just barely present scars
“Love, what’re you doing-” he started, entering the bathroom
“What’s so special about that arm that you have to stare at it while you use the toilet?” He teased, walking closer before crouching next to you
“Oh, nothing, just let me wash my hands and we can go.” You said, rushing to stand up and pull up your underwear
“What’s going on? Why are you acting so strange?’ He asked, moving to stand behind you at the sink, his hands trailing down your arms from your shoulders, trying to gently move your forearms so he could see what was so interesting
“I don’t see anything, love. Have you finally gone mad?” He joked, smiling at you in the mirror
“Rog, don’t joke about that.” You warned, and his face turned into that of a confused puppy
“What’s going on with you?” He asked, and that was the straw that broke the camels back for you
“What’s going on is that I’m not a fan of when people use ableist slurs in their jokes, okay.”
“Ableist… what? Love all I’m saying is I don’t get why you were staring at your arm, no need to-”
“Rog, I have depression. You know this. ‘Mad’ is a term used against people with mental illness. I don’t like when it’s treated lightly.” You explained, though you were still all over the place to him.
“I don’t get how this explains your arm-”
“I used to cut myself, Roger.” You said, face blank and tone cold, your words shocking your fiancee into a state of shock
“Y-you, you what? Why did I never know this?” He asked, stepping towards you
“Because it’s a part of my past I’m not proud of. I did it, but I don’t like that I did it. I’ve been trying to suppress it, but I could still see the scars on my arm so I guess I just froze.” You explained, plopping down onto the bed with a huff
Roger just did the same, laying next to you at the edge with his legs hanging off the edge
“You know I love you, right?” He said, and you just dryly chuckled, taking his hand
“I do, Rog.”
“And you know I’d never intentionally say something to upset you, right?”
“I know, Rog.” You said, squeezing his hand in emphasis
“Wanna spend the night at home?” He suggested, his thumb reassuringly brushing your hand
“What about Freddie’s party? You know he’ll throw a fit next time he sees you if you don’t show tonight.”
“Well screw him, I want to spend the night alone with my girl and he’s just gonna have to deal with him. Besides, it’s been awhile since he’s been mad at me for something besides my drumming, so I guess I’m due for it.” He said, the two of you laughing as he pulled you into his side, your leg throwing itself over his waist to get as close as possible
But he soon adjusted to to lay at the top of the bed and dragged you with him, the two of you not caring to change out of your party clothes and opting to just cuddle and fall asleep like that.
Freddie (platonic) (Struggling to get clean)
Keeping secrets from best friends is always hard, but it’s even harder when your best friend is so good at reading people you’d think he’s a mind reader
He could tell your mood as soon as he saw you, so of course you couldn’t hide your depression
But luckily no matter what you wore he couldn’t see the scars on your upper thighs, all your jeans, dresses and skirts covering them
Until one day he wanted to catch his friends in candid moments with his new camera, and decided he wanted to give you a Marilyn Monroe moment, turning a fan on that made your skirt fly unexpectedly, giving Freddie the perfect view of fresh cuts from the night before
“Darling, where did you get those?” He asked, putting the camera down
“Oh, um, you know how my cats get-”
“Cats aren’t that persistent, dear, nor are their claws that wide. Now, care to tell me the truth?” He asked, sounding like a disappointed mother who just smelled booze on her child’s breath.
“I, um, well-” You started, not sure how to tell him
“I know you did this to yourself, though to be honest I din’t know why.” He said, alleviating some pressure from you
“I guess I just feel like I deserve it…” you said, looking down
“No one deserves that, and you know it. Only the most horrendous people do, like rapists and murderers, and you are neither, my dear.”
“I know, I just-”
“No need to explain, I understand that your depression gets the best of you. But now that I know how shitty it makes you treat yourself I’m gonna keep an eye on you. Every day, you’ll show me your thighs, and I’ll-”
“Fred, that’s not necessary-”
“Y/N, you are cutting yourself, it’s necessary. Why don’t you come live with me? That way I can-”
“I don’t need that, Freddie! I don’t need you hounding me and guilting me into stopping! What I do need, though, is your help and support in getting clean. Can you do that?” You asked, taking his hand
“Of course I can, darling. I just worry, you know. I don’t want to get a call from some hospital and think I didn’t do everything I could.” He said, tears ready to fall from his eyes
“You won’t, Freddie.” You assured, tears ready to fall from your eyes as well
“Now, I think I have another idea for a candid photo of you. Just, stay there.”
“Freddie, don’t-” You said, but it but then he already had the camera up to his face and was adjusting the exposure before taking the picture
The shot he had gotten was of you, sitting on the couch, hand up blocking your face, skirt of your dress pulled up, revealing you scars
“I think I might have an eye for edgy photography, love” He announced before going back to the couch to sit with you, where you just sat and talked for the rest of the day.
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165 notes · View notes
enniewritesathing · 5 years
Text
No Place Like Home
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(It’s a cool morning in the suburbs of Oasis Springs. The birds are singing and tweeting. The city fountains spring to life in the distance. The air is crisp and clean.)
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(Finally, some heat.)
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(He’s lucky he managed to throw on his hoodie on or else the night really would have been rough.)
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(Brian touches the side of his face. It’s still tender.)
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(He doesn’t know how long he’s cried. He doesn’t know if his headache is from that or the blow to his eye. The pain is rolling and his skin feels hot against his fingers. He knows it’s a bruise again.)
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(Brian doesn’t know how long he’s been up. He does know that he tried sneaking back to his room in the middle of the night. 
She must have bolted them shut.)
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(He sniffles. Brian doesn’t know what to do. If he can do anything. He’s so far from Windenburg; even if he goes on foot, it would take a day or more. Going without anything into the desert is a death sentence.)
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(It’s his last shot. It’s his only shot. He fishes for his phone.)
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(Brian stares at the status bar. The battery is down to a red sliver.)
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(3%. Just enough for a text and maybe a phone call.)
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(With a swift thumb, he unlocks his phone, and types one address to two contacts. Briefly, he reads the miss messages from John. They’re frantic. It’s been three days since he last answered...
“I’m sorry,” he says to himself. He hopes that he can put it together.)
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(Then, he goes into the phone portion. The battery’s at 2%. Why... why is his hand shaking?)
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(Brian presses the quick dial button.)
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(It’s ringing. And ringing. And ringing.
“Come on... pick up... pick up...”)
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(The ringing goes on and on. He starts to panic. What if she doesn’t pick up? What if he made the wrong deci--
“Hello?”
Brian: “Mrs. Davidson! Mrs. Davidson!”
“Wh-- Brian? What’s wrong? What’s going on--”
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“Mrs. Davidson, I am in trouble. Please come pick me up--”!
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(The phone vibrates in his hand and watches as screen goes white, then black.)
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(Goddammit.)
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(At least she picked up the phone. She heard him. He sent off the address to her and John. He trusts them that they’ll figure it out and get him out of here.)
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(That’s all he can do.)
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(Windenburg, 5 minutes ago)
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(Noelle’s phone chimes. Who’s texting her this early in the morning? Ugh, it better not be Hadrian again--
--wait. Brian?
(397 Abercromie Road Oasis Springs)
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(The phone rings.)
“Hello?”
Brian: “Mrs. Davidson! Mrs. Davidson!”
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(The reception is bad. She hears him in choppy sentences. He sounds... frantic?)
Noelle: “Wh-- Brian? What’s wrong? What’s going on--”
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(John races down the stairs.)
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Brian: “Mrs. Davidson, I am in trouble. Please come pick me up--”!
Noelle: “Honey, you stay right there--”
(The phone disconnects with a sound.) “Ah shit...”
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Noelle starts to call for John as she rises, but he’s already here. He’s slightly out of breath but clearly agitated.)
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John: “Ma, did you get a text from Brian? An address?”
Noelle: “Yeah, and he called me before the call dropped.”
John: “I know it. It’s his aunt’s. He’s... he’s in trouble. I can feel it.”
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Noelle: “Take a breath, iho. I know how you feel about Brian, but let’s think about this.”
John: “Why think when we need to go right now?”
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Noelle: (firmly) “Iho.”
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(John tsks. Noelle gives him time to calm himself.)
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John: “It’s just... it’s been days since I’ve heard from Brian and his texts didn’t make sense. And before that he’s been acting weird. I’ve tried talking to him but his answers were always short. Kept telling me I shouldn’t call him. The last thing he told me was that his aunt needed him to be back there because she was sick, and...”
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“He sounded scared. I’m worried.”
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Noelle: “John, why didn’t you tell me about this earlier?”
John: “Because...”
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(He pauses. He doesn’t know why. But he answers anyway.)
“Because I didn’t want to feel like I was... y’know.”
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(Noelle sighs.) “No, you’re not overstepping your boundaries. This is one of those times you gotta go with your gut. In fact, I’m glad you’ve told me. Wanna know why?”
John: “Why?”
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Noelle: “I don’t have any boundaries. And I am an adult.”
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John: “Hold up. You don’t mean--”
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Noelle: “Let’s put it this way, if something where to happen, you and Brian won’t get into trouble; you’re both still kids.”
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“That said, text Bea and your uncle Eli and tell them... I may need a lot of gas money and be on the lookout if I really need it. They’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.”
John: “Oh, you mean get some bail money ready...”
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Noelle: “Go get ready. And get my bat.”
(John pauses. Oh shit, this is a bat situation. The bail money part already has him worried.) “Which bat?”
Noelle: “You know the one. Don’t worry, I don’t think I would have to use it, but it is a good deterance. We’re gonna go over there, do whatever, and bring Brian back here where he belongs.”
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“We’re gonna bring him home.”
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(It’s been hours since the call. Brian tells himself they’ll be here soon. After all, Oasis Springs is a couple of hours drive from Windenburg. That’s what’s keeping him going.)
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(His fingers have gone slightly numb. Brian worries that at this time, his aunt is getting up from sleep. There’s no telling what she’d act like if she knew he was still here--)
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(Brian hears something pull up into the driveway.)
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“Brian!”
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Noelle: “Brian, are you...”
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(She pauses as she gets a good look at Brian.)
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(He doesn’t say anything as he looks up. He’s almost ashamed to let her look, and fights back his tears.)
Brian: “Mrs. Davidson. John.”
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Noelle: “When did she do this?”
(Brian is hesitant.) “Yesterday.”
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“She got drunk. Threw a bottle at me. She missed; she threw a second one. It hit me and... I don’t remember much after that. She yelled at me, punched me, and then told me to get out.”
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“She told me not to come back... I tried getting my things but she wouldn’t let me and locked me out. I’ve been out here since then. I was lucky I had my phone on me, but... it died soon as you picked up.”
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(Brian sniffles.) “I should have left days ago.”
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(Noelle hears all what she needed to hear.) “Iho, sit with Brian while I’ll have a little chat.”
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(John sits besides Brian. He doesn’t know what to do or say. Brian shakes his head and turns away.)
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(Noelle pounds on the door.)
(THUMP THUMP THUMP)
“Connie! Connie! Get your ass out here right now!”
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(THUMP THUMP THUMP)
“Wake up, Connie! Don’t make me come in there!”
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(She continues on for three more knocks. She’s had enough waiting around; she’ll knock down the fucking door with her foot.)
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(Just as she rears up, Noelle hears shuffling and cursing behind the door.)
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(She tightens the grip on her bat to release excess energy as the door opens.)
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Connie: “Just who the fuck is--”
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“Oh. It’s you.”
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Noelle: “Yes, it’s me. Good morning, Connie. How are you?”
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Connie: “What do you want?”
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(Noelle adjusts her grip on her bat.) “I got an emergency call from your nephew, Brian. He told me what happened, and I would love to get your side of the story before I do anything stupid like knock your head off.”
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Connie: “What?”
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(Connie looks past Noelle to see Brian sitting on that damned bench. Just how did he manage that? He had nothing on him. She made sure he hid his phone...)
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(Connie gives a half-hearted laugh.) “Oh, you see--”
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Noelle: “Bitch, what did you do to Brian?”
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Connie: (scoffs) “What you think I did is none of your goddamn business. That boy is telling a lie.”
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“He tripped and fell and hit his head on the end table. I don’t think you realize he’s pretty clumsy.”
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(From behind, Brian speaks up.) “S-she’s lying.”
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Noelle: “Now, given my previous experience with you, Connie, I’m inclined to not believe you.”
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“I have a few choice words for you but first, Brian, I want you to go inside and get whatever clothes and things you have left. John, go on there with him.”
John: “Yes, ma’am.”
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(They waited until Connie agreed -- begrudingly -- to let the boys in. John is greeted with that familiar scent of alcohol. It’s almost styfling.)
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(He’s getting bad vibes and it’s only been a few seconds that he’s stood here. This isn’t a home. This is barely anything.)
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Brian: “Over here.”
(John’s floored by how many markings there are on Brian’s door.)
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(Scratches, holes... some of them fresh.)
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(They enter his room. It’s small and cramped. There’s more holes in here. There’s a silence between them that’s unbearable. Again, John doesn’t know what to do.)
John: “Do... you need any help?”
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(Brian is silent as he gathers and shoves his clothes into the duffle bag.)
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“Brian...”
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“...talk to me. Please.”
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Brian: “In a sec.”
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(Brian finishes up and slings the duffle bag near the door, and settles besides John.)
“I... I don’t know where to start.” 
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“I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have come back here. I knew... I knew she’d pull this stupid shit off but I didn’t listen.”
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“She was sick, but she wasn’t that sick. She was sick from drinking too much and I had to clean up after her and make she didn’t choke on her own vomit.”
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“She was afraid that I would leave her, so she took everything I had. I couldn’t go anywhere. She spent what money I had. She took my phone away but I managed to sneak it back, but she had my charger. When she was sober, she...”
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(Brian sighs.) “She manipulated me, John. I fell for it. She’s the only flesh-and-blood family I have left and I guess, in the back of my mind, I felt sorry for her. That I could mend whatever relationship I have left with my family. That maybe, if she told my parents... that they’ll take me back. Or at least acknowledge that I exist.”
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“John, she never cared for me. Not one bit.”
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“I’ll be honest, I was scared when your mom said that I can stay over whenever I liked. I didn’t want to overstay my welcome, or be a burden just like I am to my aunt. ”
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John: “Brian... you’re not a burden. You never were and you never will be. You’re not because... we care about you. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be here.”
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“And that’s the truth. We love you.”
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“You’re coming home with us. For good. You’ll be safe. I promise.”
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“Really?”
John: “Yeah.”
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(John takes his hands and folds Brian’s hand into his, and gives a tiny squeeze.)
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(It’s the first time in days that Brian feels okay.)
John: “Let’s get out of here.”
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(Brian packs the rest of his things into his backpack. As much as he wants to leave that door open, he decides not to. It needs to be closed. He won’t ever come back here again.)
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John: “You’re gonna be okay. I promise.”
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(Brian takes a breath. He’s right. It’s gonna be okay--)
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Noelle: “You fucking bitch!”
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(It’s not going to be okay.)
John: “Oh shit.”
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(Noelle approaches Connie as she tries and scrambles away from her.) 
Connie: “N-now wait a minute!”
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“I-I’m sorry!”
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Noelle: “Sorry? Sorry?! I’ll teach you to be sorry!” 
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(Noelle grits her teeth as she tightens the grip on her bat, seeing absolute red.)
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(John leaps off the porch and dashes straight for his mother.) “Mom!”
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“Don’t do it!”
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(Noelle raises the bat...)
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(And Connie braces herself.)
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(Shit shit shit shit! She’s going to do it!)
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Noelle: “You hurt my baby boy and you’re gonna pay!”
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(Just as the bat makes its downward motion, John catches her by the waist and yanks her back.)
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Noelle: “What the--!”
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“John, you got three seconds to let me go right fucking now so I can bash this heifer’s face in or you’re grounded!”
John: “Mom, she is not worth it! Just let her go, we’re done here!”
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(Connie looks up. By some miracle, her brains aren’t splattered across the yard. She laughs in disbelief.)
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Brian: “Oh no.”
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(Now’s my chance!)
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(Connie scrambles up and waited until she had a clear shot. If this woman thinks she can just intrude on her property with her big bad bat, she has another thing coming!
She swings...)
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(Crack!)
(...and drills her fist into John’s back!)
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John: “Ahhhhh!”
Noelle: “John!”
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Brian: “John!”
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(Connie tsks. Not the intended target.)
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(John falls into his mother’s arms.)
Noelle: “John! Iho! Are you okay?”
(He shakes his head. He can’t answer.)
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Connie: (laughs) “Guess your weak ass son can’t take a punch.”
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(Connie laughs louder. She’s got the upper hand.)
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Brian: “ENOUGH!”
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Connie: “Are you talking back, Brian? Don’t make me come over there and show you your place again.”
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Noelle: “John, baby--”
John: (pants) “I’m fine. Just caught a bad spot.”
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Noelle: “Oh, you’ll pay for this--”
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(Brian squares up.) “Mrs. Davidson... don’t.”
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Connie: “Go back inside like the good boy you are, Brian.”
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Brian: “No.”
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Connie: “What?”
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(John’s mostly recovered from the punch. Man, who thought a small woman like her would hit like that.)
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Brian: “I said, ‘No.’ I don’t live here any more. You can’t tell me what to do.”
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“Mrs. Davidson...”
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“Can we go home? Please?”
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(Noelle lets go of John after confirming he was fine and watches him with a wary eye as he hobbles off to collect Brian’s bag.)
“You. I’m going to call the police.”
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Connie: “And what makes you think they’ll listen to you?”
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(Brian stares past John at his aunt. In fact, he doesn’t know he’s standing there.)
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John: “Brian. Hey. I’m fine.”
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(Brian doesn’t respond and John moves closer. John can feel the sheer anger coming off of him.)
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Noelle: “Oh, we have a lot of evidence that’ll go against your word, Connie.”
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John: “Brian. Look at me. Breathe. I know you wanna do somethin’. It ain’t worth it.”
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Connie: “As far as I’m concerned, all of you are trespassing.”
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John: “We’re gonna go. We got what we needed.”
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(Brian gives a long exhale. He hadn’t realized he was even holding his breath.)
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(John reaches out for Brian’s hand and squeezes it. It’s shaking like an earthquake.)
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Brian: “Okay.”
John: “Let’s go.”
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(John leads the way.)
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(Noelle notices the movement behind her and looks at John and Brian. It’s time to go.)
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(Connie laughs.) “That’s what I thought.”
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“Though I appreciate you taking out the the trash. Really, I do!”
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“I--”
(Connie looks down. Her lips curl up in disgust.)
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“Oh. No wonder.”
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John: (quietly, squeezing Brian’s hand) “Don’t. I know you wanna do something. It ain’t worth it.”
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(Brian clenchs his jaw, but he keeps his mouth shut.)
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“No wonder you’re so weak. No wonder you’re causing your dear Aunt Connie such stress. Here I thought you were just a problem child and yet, this whole time, I’ve been taking care of a disgusting little f--”
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(Noelle stops.)
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(CRUNCH!)
(Connie did not finish the rest of her sentence as Noelle’s fist slammed right into her nose.)
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Noelle: “Shut up.”
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(John gasps in surprise.)
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(Connie staggers back, hands flying to her face.)
“H-h-h... my nose! Y-you fucking... b-bitch!”
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Noelle: “Keep hollering and I’ll knock your fucking teeth out!”
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(Tears well up in her eyes whether Connie wants to or not. She feels something loose. Is... did she??)
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(Oh no. Oh no no no.)
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(Blood cascades down from her nose like Niagara Falls.) “Nnn!”
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(Her hands tremble. She screams again.)
“I don’t b-believe this!”
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Noelle: “Oh, you don’t? I can make it happen again!”
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(Connie roars in frustration as she tries to breathe. She feels lightheaded and falls to her knees.)
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(Noelle kneels down to her level, with her bat in full display. Connie’s eyes glance at the barbed end of it.)
“Listen up and listen good. You understand that you royally fucked up right? I wasn’t expecting violence today, but yet, here we are. That’s a damn shame, isn’t it?”
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“All of this could have been prevented. Really. But here’s the thing. If you as so much as try to come after me, Brian, or my son about this, I will end you.”
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“I have friends in very high places that owe me some big favors. They wouldn’t hesitate in assisting me with this. I can say ‘this woman has a noted history of abusing and neglecting her nephew, and attacked my son. She is a menace to the both of them and needs to be put away. That can go either two ways.”
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“I consider myself to be a merciful woman, so here’s the deal. Swear to me.”
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Connie: “A-are you joking? Are you out of your g-g-godamn mind?”
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Noelle: “No. Swear to me that you’ll never see Brian again as long as you live, or face the consequences. Your choice.”
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Connie: “I...”
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“I s-s-swear.”
Noelle: “Good. Glad we have an understanding.”
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(Noelle dusts her pants off and hefts her bat over her shoulder.) “Come on, boys.”
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(Brian stares down his aunt.)
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Connie: “B-brian, before you go, help me up?”
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“P-please?”
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Brian: “No.”
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(Connie’s mouth falls open in shock.)
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Connie: “N-no! C-come back! I said ‘please’!”
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(Brian doesn’t hear the wailing pleas of his aunt. He doesn’t have to anymore.)
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(Finally, he can go home.)
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(It’s cold and raining when they arrived back in Windenburg, but there’s no place like home.)
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(Brian kept it together until he went up to his side of the room. He lost track of the time crying into John’s shoulder as he consoled him. He realized he missed this feeling and needed it for a long time as they fell asleep. Noelle throws a blanket over them and left them alone.
In the meantime, Noelle texts her brother and sister-in-law to inform them that they won’t need to raise bail money for her and finally explained what happened. They’re not surprised, but relieved that Brian made it home safely.)
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(After dinner, Brian pulls aside Noelle as soon as John went upstairs.)
Brian: “Mrs. Davidson?”
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Noelle: “Yes, sweetie?”
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(Brian is caught off-guard by the term of endearment. He gives a weak smile.)
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“I... I want to thank you.”
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“For... for today.”
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“I know it was... a lot coming all the way out to Oasis Springs to come get me on such... short notice. Thank you for getting me away from my aunt’s place. I don’t think I would have lasted another day. I... I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t answered.”
(He starts to sniffle.)
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Noelle: “Oh, Brian...”
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Brian: “I’m... really glad that you care... and love me that much... to take me in...”
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“And...” (He can’t finish his sentence as he starts to cry.)
Noelle: “Come here.”
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(Noelle pulls Brian into a tight embrace.) “We’re here for you, Brian. We have been since day one.”
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“Don’t ever think that we aren’t. We’re here for you.”
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“We love you and cherish you.”
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“And you’re a joy in our lives. Don’t ever forget that.”
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(John peeks into the kitchen.) “What’s going on?”
Noelle: “Iho, come here. We’re hugging.”
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(John joins in the hugging, snuggling against Brian’s back.)
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Noelle: “You’re safe. You’re home, Brian.”
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-End-
33 notes · View notes
goodlucktai · 5 years
Text
get what you give
all for the game pairing: gen word count: 1823 title borrowed from you get what you give by new radicals read on ao3
x
Nicky checks his phone on a stolen five minute break halfway through his shift to find a forbidding voicemail and an alarming number of missed calls from the middle school office.
Heart in his throat, he punches redial. The secretary who picks up answers with a mellow sort of cheer that is the opposite of the urgency Nicky needs from her right now.
“Hi, Nicky Hemmick,” he says, right over the tail end of her practiced greeting. “I missed a call about my cousins-- Andrew and Aaron Minyard. Are they okay? What happened?”
Probably the right response is something other than automatic, knee-jerk panic, but this is all Nicky’s got. His break time comes and goes while the secretary has him on hold, and when the line reconnects, Nicky is greeted by the much more efficient vice principal.
“Your cousins are perfectly fine,” Mrs. McCaffrey says, sounding annoyed in that slick way professionals can get away with over the phone. “It’s a disciplinary issue that we need you here for, Mr. Hemmick, as soon as you’re able.”
His shift at Sweetie’s is another two hours, but one look at his face and the phone clenched in his hand has the other two servers trading knowing looks and assuring him they’d handle the rest of lunch without him.
“I have kids, too,” Lisa says. “I know how much a little extra help can mean, and you cover for me all the time. Now, scoot.”
“Bring those boys in for ice cream later,” Brian adds. “Something tells me the four of you will need it.”
Thanking a god he only believes in half the time, Nicky all but runs out the door. His car decides to be cooperative today, starting with a putter on his second twist of the starter, and with that he’s tearing across town like a bat out of hell.
The vice principal said they weren’t hurt, but what happened? Why was she so tight-lipped over the phone? He bends the speed limit, then breaks it, and pulls into the parking lot barely twelve minutes after hanging up the phone.
Nicky tries not to burst into the office, but he’s pretty sure that’s exactly what he does. He’s still got his waist apron on, his jacket thrown haphazardly on over his uniform, and he all but trips over the front desk in his haste to ask, “I’m here, I’m— Nicky. Where are—“
Before the bemused secretary can speak, a quiet voice says his name, and Nicky turns to find Neil on the bench seat just inside the office door, wearing a black jacket that isn’t his and sporting a colorful bruise on the left side of his face.
Nicky is crouched in front of him before he makes any conscious decision to move, cupping the little boy’s chin in one careful hand.
It took almost a year to get here, but Neil doesn’t flinch when his hand moves. He leans into the touch, eyes electric blue and stricken. He says, “It was my fault, not Andrew’s. No one will listen to me. Will you tell them?”
The vice principal is stepping out from behind the counter to meet him, but Nicky doesn’t get up right away. He faces her, so Neil doesn’t catch so much as the corner of his scowl, and says, “You told me they weren’t hurt.”
“Your boys are fine, Mr. Hemmick. Neil is—“
“I’m his emergency contact,” Nicky bites out. “You call me.”
“Let’s have this discussion in my office, please,” the woman says stiffly.
Well, now he has some idea what this is about.
Nicky gives Neil his keys to hold onto, waiting until some of the anxiety melts out of the boy’s tense shoulders. Neil traces the teeth of the house key with the tip of his finger and gives a little nod, and Nicky turns to follow the vice principal into her office. He only makes it a step inside the door.
“Woah, hey,” he says, when two nine-year-olds throw their full weight against his legs. He kneels, and their tight grips go from his waist to his shoulders. “Hey, c’mon. It’s okay.”
They lift their heads. They don’t look shaken. Andrew’s mouth is pressed into a thin line, and Aaron’s hazel eyes are blazing. They’re mad , pint-sized tempers blown, and that settles something in the pit of Nicky’s chest, cold fear receding into the back of his mind for another day. He can deal with this.
“It was Roman’s stupid fault,” Aaron snaps. “Andrew shouldn’t be in trouble!”
“Language,” Mrs. McCaffrey says, and Nicky doesn’t give in to the childish urge to glare at her. The boys do it for him a second later, anyway.
“How about you tell me what happened,” Nicky says. “Does this have anything to do with Neil’s bruise?”
“Roman’s a dumb fifth grader. He doesn’t like Neil ‘cause Neil beat his time on fitness day. He ran a mile in like six minutes, a minute and something faster than Roman,” Aaron says. His tone is a conflicted mix of aggravation and pride, pulled in two different directions by this bully and his best friend. “Today at recess Roman and his friends pushed Neil behind the bleachers but me and Andrew saw him.”
“You should have gone to a teacher immediately,” McCaffrey scolds them. “We don’t tolerate bullying of any magnitude. I know we went over the policy together at length when Andrew enrolled. If you boys had gone to a teacher, Roman would have been disciplined for his actions and the two of you wouldn’t be in trouble in the first place.”
“But Neil would have been beat up worse than he already was,” Aaron shoots back. “He shouldn’t’ve got beat up any.”
His hands are clenched in Nicky’s shirt. Andrew is a golden shadow at his side, a mirror image of frustration.
If they were as big as all their caring, Nicky thinks, they’d probably be ten feet tall.
“What happened when you two got there?” Nicky presses. He looks at Andrew this time, not liking how nonverbal the older twin has been so far. “Drew?”
He doesn’t answer for a long minute. His hands are shoved deep into his pockets. Nicky doesn’t push, and neither does the vice principal. Finally, giving each word up as though they cost him something, he says, “They were trying to pull off Neil’s shirt. They make fun of him for wearing long sleeves in PE sometimes.”
Dread creeps into Nicky’s chest and sets up camp there.
Neil guards his scars like his life is on the line, with a violent desperation better suited a drowning man than an eight-year-old boy. Nicky has seen them a few times, but never for very long, and only because Neil trusts him enough to part with his hoodie every now and then, for just as long as it takes Nicky to run a load of laundry.
Nicky is sick to his stomach at the mental image of Neil cornered by older boys, struggling to keep his ruined skin covered.
“He kept saying no and they wouldn’t stop,” Andrew goes on. “I made them stop.”
Nicky bites the inside of his cheek, but it doesn’t stop his heart from breaking. He pulls his boys in closer, squeezing them tight, and says, “Yeah, you did. I’m so proud of you.”
“Mr. Hemmick, ” the vice principal says, scandalized. “We do not reward this behavior.”
“Can you guys wait for me outside?” Nicky says, and they look up at him with trust in their eyes. Nicky would pretty much set himself on fire to safeguard that trust. “Neil could use the company. I just need to sort some stuff out here, and then we’ll head home for the day, okay?”
Aaron nods, and Andrew leads the way to the door. Only when it’s closed behind them does Nicky look at the vice principal. The fear and worry and anger gives way, and it’s all he can do not to shout.
It’s public school. What can he really expect from public school?
“Mr. Hemmick-- “
“I’m one more “Mr. Hemmick” away from causing a scene. I mean, a full-on scene. You knew when we came to you at the beginning that there were conditions. You promised them a safe environment. You promised you had staff with the right kind of training, to give them proper attention. You, personally, yourself, sat down in a meeting with their therapist so none of this would come as a surprise. We discussed this for so long. We talked about how traumatized kids might act out, and you signed off on everything with perfect confidence and all the right, pretty things to say to make me think they’d be okay here, and this-- this isn’t even the first issue we’ve had this year. And it’s barely November. What the hell is wrong with you?”
The woman sits behind her desk, looking slightly paler than she was when she greeted him. She shuffles papers for a moment, to give her hands something to do, Nicky guesses, and then waves him toward a chair.
“I apologize,” she says, and she sounds tired. “Please sit. Let’s discuss this from the beginning.”
By the time he joins the boys in the waiting room, someone had the good sense to get them something to drink. They’re all sitting in a huddle, clutching little paper cups, and look up in unison when Nicky comes over.
“Sorry, Nicky,” Neil says immediately, even though it makes Andrew pinch his arm.
“Are we still in trouble?” Aaron asks indignantly while his best friend and brother scuffle to one side.
“‘Course not, what do you take me for?” Nicky ruffles his blond mop. “Extra meetings with the counselor during the week, but we were talking about that anyway, right?” At their round of nods, he gestures toward the door. “C’mon, Neil. I signed you out, too.”
“Did they call my mom?”
“No, kiddo, they didn’t. It’s alright.”
Nicky shepherds them toward the car. Neil says, “Thanks for your jacket, Andrew. Do you want it back?” and Andrew says, “No, idiot,” and Aaron says, “At least we got out of English. I hate English.” Nicky rolls his eyes at their rabble and makes sure seatbelts are buckled and doors are shut before he turns them onto the road home.
He has the morning off tomorrow, and a call from Erik to look forward to tonight. Neil will probably sleep over, so Nicky will order in, make dinner a little special, to take the last stressful edge off the events of this afternoon. With any luck, the worst is behind them for now.
Nicky recognizes Aaron’s favorite song when it comes on the radio, a few seconds before Aaron does. He turns it up loud, smiling at the delighted little hoot from the backseat, and lets the kids all scream along for the rest of the ride home.
82 notes · View notes
iamnotbrianmay · 5 years
Text
You Can’t Reach Me
Hello Lovies! I wrote something based on the awesome one shot by @waywardrunawaycherryblossom “I Surrender” 
I hope you like it! 
TW: Mentions of rape. 
❀✿❀
It's almost funny, Rogerina comes to think while lying on the disgusting bathroom floor, how fifteen minutes can undo what twenty-five years couldn't.
Her head still feels woozy from whatever roofie had been put into her drink, her hands are trembling uncontrollably, and she feels like she wouldn't ever be able to stand up again if she wanted too— which she doesn't. She just wants to stay in the grimy bathroom, curled up and hidden away from the world until her skin starts to rot and she is forgotten by everyone around her.
But life isn't that kind, not towards her anyway.
It takes somewhere between fifteen minutes and three years for the boys to find her after he has left. She is still sprawled on the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks, and pants half way down her thighs. She hears them get there in a flurry of movement, sees them cradle her limp body to their chest, trying to save what they can before it crumbles right before their eyes.
But regardless of their efforts, regardless of their intentions, something inside her changed. The flame which had burned brightly inside her chest and had fuelled her anger and fiery temper had been snuffed in a matter of seconds. The spark of rebellion and stubbornness which had danced inside her eyes since she was old enough to remember, was replaced by the empty stare of a broken woman.
And as she lays limp, cradled in Brian's arms while Freddie cleans her as best as he can, and Deaky heads off to find their van, Rogerina can only think about how funny it is that fifteen minutes can undo what twenty-five years couldn't.
❀✿❀
Three days after the incident and Roggie still sits quiet.
It's too early to know if she is pregnant, too early to even think about her getting better, but the silence is a testament of of how things have changed. If anything they had expected for her to be angry, to cry, and scream bloody murder at whoever had done that to her. But the silence is much worse.
It's like living with a ghost. A spectre who looks like their drummer, yet acts nothing like her, and as the hours pass and the silence continues they grow even more scared. But perhaps it becomes scarier when she begins to speak.
It starts with sigh of relief and a small 'thank you' uttered to the nurse who tells them she is not pregnant. The relief is palpable, not only because of the lack of even more serious repercussions, but because they can finally listen to their girl's voice. Roggie's first words after eight days of not speaking are monosyllabic, at best, but anything is better than silence which they had endured.
That is until they realised she had become pliant.
It starts out small, with little things like not complaining about being coddled, or refusing to say no even when its obvious she is uncomfortable with a situation. And it eventually escalates until the point where she asks for their permission to do anything, which would be worrying for anyone, but especially makes it seem like there is something wrong with her.
It goes on like that for a few weeks until they manage to get themselves back in the studio. It's a cold December afternoon and as always the band finds itself fighting over something or other, except this time she is just sitting behind the drum kit, waiting for the fight to dissipate. It heated enough for them to momentarily forget the elephant in the room, the ghost of their best friend, of their sister, sitting and waiting for them.
"Well, fuck you, Brian," Freddie turns towards the blond, who is looking at her drums like they are the most interesting things in the world, "Rog, tell him he is wrong."
Brian stops his foot, when he sees Rogerina meet Freddie's eyes, "Come on, Roggie. You seriously can't be on his side, the song sucks at a 3/4 tempo."
She is frozen, her expression akin to one of a deer in headlights, and then she sighs, "I don't know guys, you should decide."
In that moment the world froze around them. Brian turned fully towards her, furrowing his brow, and Freddie blinked owlishly. Even Deaky, who had been staying away from the discussion was now looking at her life she had suddenly sprouted a second head.
She let her gaze fall to the ground, cheeks burning with embarrassment and eyes brimmed with tears. Her retreat from the room is fast, as fast as she can make he weak legs carry her out of the studio and into the building's private courtyard. A pack of cigarettes in one hand, a lighter in the other, and the sinking feeling that she had done something wrong.
❀✿❀
Having an opinion about everything, Roger learned from a young age, meant that people never took her for granted.
Either because they knew she was informed about the topic enough to know what she was talking about, or because they knew that they could get a rise out of her at every given moment. Which seemed to be a house favourite for every single boy in her life.
She has an opinion on everything ranging between human rights to which type of sugar tastes better. And that gets her into trouble more ties that she can count. Especially with me who would often think that their voice, their opinion, mattered more than hers.
She had the philosophy of telling them to screw themselves and get her point across regardless of how long it took and how strenuous the fight was. And while some like Brian, Freddie, and Deaky could appreciate that, other just wanted her quiet. Others wanted her to nod along to whatever they said, smile, and look pretty.
He had been one of those people.
And Roger had only noticed after the world tilted on its axis, and he made her into the punching bag she had been so desperately trying to avoid being her whole life.
❀✿❀
Her fingers trembled as she took out the first fag of many from the box. She could barely get them to stay still long enough to turn on her lighter and goddamn is she had felt useless before she now felt like she wasn't even good at slowly killing herself. Miserable and pathetic she tel the tears roll down her cheeks as she inhaled the smoke and held it in her lungs until she felt light headed.
The nicotine was strong enough to leave her with the need to lean against the wall to sustain her weight— she took another drag, aching for more.
The reaction was instantaneous. Her breathing evened out, her heart stopped trying to beat out of her chest, and her fingers stopped trembling enough for her to finish one cigarette and light the next.
The door opened and closed beside her, and out came Deaky, who visibly relaxed once he saw her leaning against the wall smoking. She offered one to hi silently and he took it without much hesitation. Lighting it with his own lighter, a pretty fancy thing that Roger had found in one of her manic shopping sprees, and taking a long drag.
Hours could have gone by, with them smoking side by side until the box was empty and there was nothing left for them to corrode their lungs with. It was only then that Roger slid down the wall, pulling the strings of the, too-big, hoodie and covering her legs with the extra fabric. Deaky followed, and soon both of the were curled up enjoying the lingering effects of nicotine and the soft breeze that ruffled their hair.
"You asked me once about my family, about why I ran away from Truro and left behind everything I ever knew," For a second John wished that the other two would burst into the garden right now and would listen to whatever revelation Roger was about to make, but alas they didn't show up. "You'd think it was because of my father, because of his habits of beating me black and blue, but that's not really the case."
She flicked her lighter, on, off, on, off, and John could see her urge to light another cigarette and ease her nerves. After a few minutes of silence, she finally spoke again, "It wasn't really because of him. I could have handled the beatings. I could have handled the malnourishment and the awful words directed at me because I wasn't born a boy. I could have, I really could."
Another beat of silence. Another sigh from her part.
"I couldn't handle her, though. Couldn't handle the way that she would watch as he treated me and my sister that way. Couldn't handle the way that she agreed to everything he said. Couldn't handle how submissive and how under his control she was. I couldn't handle how she was his fu—" she cut herself off, glaring at the way that now she couldn't even utter a curse word without it feeling like it was not right, "she was his punchbag."
One of her hands curled into a fist, but it wasn't like the one Deaky was so used to seeing from her. It was like she was trying to test the mobility of the appendages, not show the world how ready she was to fight her way through whatever challenges life was giving her.
"I used to loathe her for being paralysed in fear, for keeping her mouth shut, her head down and looking pretty for appearances sake. Now I'm in her place and can't help but think that maybe I was to harsh." On, off, on, "I've turned into somebody's Punchbag, Deaky, and I'm scared I will never be able to get myself back."
❀✿❀
Finding them is easy.
Truro is a small town, with an even smaller community. What happened in one household would soon be known all over the neighbourhood, and what had happened to Winifred and Claire Taylor was known by everyone. A town legend, if you will.
The youngest child had called the police of Michael once things got too out of hand. They rounded up the house and found the hundreds of broken bottle of liquor, the remnants of what used to be Roger's room, and Claire and Winifred. Bloodied, bruise, and battered. It had been enough to send him to jail, somewhere far away from their small country house and peaceful little town. But it was not enough for the news to reach Rogerina, no matter how many time Claire had gone looking for her.
It ends up being her who comes looking for them, seeking to make up for her penultimate sin and apologise for leaving. Apologise for not trying to understand. For being so naive, so hot headed, so angry at the world to be able to see past what she had been living through.
They both take her in with open arms, the reunion is tear-filled with loads of apologies from all parties involved. For leaving them alone, for letting her go, for waiting so long before doing something about their problems.
It's a different house than the one she left all those years ago, and she doesn't know whether to feel worried or flattered that even after all of this years there is still a room for her in the house.
❀✿❀
"We are not having chicken today," Brian commented, "just good old tofu."
"Okay."
Something flickered across his face, "And a salad."
Roger shrugged, "Sounds good."
"Rogerina."
"What?"
"You are allowed to say no."
She wrinkled her nose, "Why would I?"
"Why would— 'Cause you hate tofu!" Brian insisted, "and salad. And you are allowed to have an opinion, you are allowed to argue with me."
Her eyes flickered momentarily towards him, and she pursed her lips, "Okay, I'll try to do that more."
A frustrated growl left Brian's throat, "Okay this is getting frustrating. Roger, do you want tofu or not?"
"Brian I don-"
"No, please," Brian interrupted her, "I'm asking a yes or no question, Rog. Do you want tofu or not?"
"Brian I—"
"Yes or No, Roggie, answer me please."
It was like a flip being switched, she flicked her fingers in an outward motion and stomped her foot, "No. The answer is no Brian, are you happy?"
She was left panting from the effort the words took. Her chest was heaving and there were tears forming at the brim of her eyes. Her hands were clenched into fists, her arms shaking, and for a second she felt the old spark back. The second past though, and she was left empty and hollow again, but Brian looked beyond proud.
He took a step forward, placing a hand on Rogerina's cheek, and looking at her with equally misty eyes, "Very. I'm so proud princess. I'm so proud."
Long ago, while curled in a hospital bed and dealing with a kidney infection she had surrendered to her boys. Surrendered into letting them take care of her and coddle her into health. Now she was standing in the kitchen of their shared apartment, years later, with Brian cradling her face and asking her to keep fighting.
So she gritted her teeth, curled her fingers into fists, and did just as he asked. She kept on fighting.
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queenattheopera · 6 years
Text
Opening Number Part 3
Masterlist, Part 2
Prompt: This is the story of the band that skyrocketed beside Queen and how their singer was fated to be with one of them.
Warning: Some light cursing
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October 17, 1970
How Much Do They Love Flying (This is an original song , sorry if it sucks)
“They get on with life as a lover, They're the innocent type. They like singing on Sundays, They like dancing in the week. But when they start to daydream, Their mind turns straight to flying.”
There’s something about performing that feels so natural. It can be difficult to explain. When I think back on any past performance, I can't remember exact details but I can always remember the feeling.
“Sometimes I look at them and I look into their eyes, I notice the way they think about soaring with a smile, Curved lips they just can't disguise. But they think it's heights making their life worthwhile. Why is it so hard for them to decide which they love more?”
I move around the stage and as I look into the crowd I immediately see John. He raises his glass towards me and I couldn’t help but smile. This was for him. This song was for all of them, but truth be told, I was thinking about Deacy right now.
When I turn to the side I see Roger glaring out towards the crowd. Brian and Freddie look a little upset too, but once Brian makes eye contact with me, he smiles and gives me thumbs up.
“They like to use words like 'love,’ They like to use words like 'darling.' They like to use words with meaning. But when they stop their talking, Their mind turns straight to flying.”
Queen wasn’t performing today due to their lack of a proper bassist but I was planning on changing that. John was the perfect solution.
Flashback
“John! Hey, I don’t know if you remember me but we met last weekend.” He looks genuinely surprised to see me there and quickly walks over to me. “H-hello, y/n.. What brings you here?” He nervously looks back at his schoolmates and then at me.
“Well I was hoping I could talk to you about something, but maybe we should head somewhere else. There’s a cafe down the street, we can grab lunch and talk there. Is that okay?” His cheeks start to go red and he fidgets slightly.
“That’s fine.” He awkwardly stands there as he waits for me to lead the way. It was rather strange how he went from flirty so shy from one day to the next, but I knew he was a little uncomfortable so I was hoping that taking him to this quite cafe would put him at ease. I lead John towards the place and he walks beside me.
“You’re dressed quite differently from this Saturday.” I keep my eyes forward and laugh. I was dressed for the weather, a simple pair of jeans and a hoodie. My makeup was also quite simple. “That’s more of stage look, I’ll occasionally dress up, but I usually just dress comfortably.” He hums in response. Once we reach the cafe I order a coffee and make myself at home.
I’m quite nervous about asking him, I didn’t want him to be upset. I barely even know him and now I’m asking him to make a commitment to group that he doesn’t know. “So, remember Queen, the band playing when we met,” he nods, “Well they’re looking for a bassist and I think you could work really well with them. I could introduce you to them on Saturday. They want you to audition and they’re really nice and-.” “Darling, slow down, I could hardly keep up.”
I didn’t notice how quick I was speaking until he told me to slow down. “I think you make a compelling argument but I don’t think joining a band would be the best option right now. I have my studies to focus on.”
“John, I think you should really give it a chance. I can help you prepare, we can work together on a song, if it becomes too stressful to do with your schedule then I’ll forget about it. If it’s manageable, then you should audition.”
He looked unconvinced, “I know we just met and I don’t know much about you, but what I think this could be great. You'll enjoy it and I think this could be really good for you. Please just give it a chance.” I grab his hand.
He sighs.
“Sometimes I look at them and I look into their eyes, I notice the way they think about soaring with a smile, Curved lips they just can't disguise. But they think it's heights making their life worthwhile. Why is it so hard for them to decide which they love more?”
The more I spoke to him the more I felt he would work well with the boys. He was a very timid compared to them but he was talented nonetheless.
“They like to hang out with Emily, They like to kick back with Noah and Charlie. But when left alone, Their mind turns straight to flying.”
We continued to meet throughout the week after class. He didn’t know this song was kinda about him but he seemed to really enjoy working on it. Whether he denies it or not, he has a passion for music. You can see it every time he writes. He’ll go silent for sometime and he puts pure emotion behind each lyric.
“Sometimes I look at them and I look into their eyes, I notice the way they think about soaring with a smile, Curved lips they just can't disguise. But they think it's heights making their life worthwhile. Why is it so hard for them to decide which they love more?”
It’s time for the guitar solo, I take a deep breath and try my best to absorb every detail. I had my best friends cheering for me. I perform for them, their support makes these nights special.
“They're not too fond of darkness, They really hate loneliness, But they just think back to flying, And they're happy once again.”
After packing everything up and loading it onto the van, we were back inside. The band was sitting off to the side, while I went to find John. After reaching the bar I see him in the exact same spot as before. “John, I’m glad you could make it.” I hugged him and smiled. “I wouldn’t miss it. So where’s that infamous band you’ve convinced me to audition for.” He raises his eyebrows and motions for me to lead the way.
I grab his hand and take him to the side. “Queen, I would like you all to meet John Deacon. John, this is Freddie, Brian, and Roger.” He shakes each of their hands. Roger was glaring at him, but he didn’t say anything. After breaking the ice, the four men seem to be getting along well. Rog was still being a little rude. When he excused himself to the bathroom, I followed him.
I went inside with him, “What the hell Roger? Get your head out of your ass and at least get to know him before you start hating him.” He look annoyed, “Look y/n, you barely even know this guy and you’re already all over him. Your just being nice to him cause you have a crush on him, tell me how much do you really know about him?” This angered me even more.
“No, you don’t get to make that excuse for your behavior. You sleep with random girls and most the time you don’t even know their names! And every time you bring one of them along, the rest of us always act civilly. You’re just being immature!”
“That’s completely different y/n! This-” Both Roger and I continued to get louder. “No, explain to me how is this any different?!” He scoffs, “This involves the band! We can’t just let anyone join cause you think they’re hot!”
“Shut up!! If you really think I would do that, then you don’t know me at all! I would never intentionally hurt the band like that! Now stop acting like a child!” I go back to the two booths and I let them know I’m walking home. “The nights still young, are you sure you want to leave darling?” I nod, “Yeah, Fred. I’m sorry. We can all get brunch tomorrow if you’d like?” I look at everyone and they seem to agree. “Only if you’re cooking, you’re one of the few people who know how to make a good vegetarian breakfast.”
“Sure. So I’ll see you all at brunch tomorrow, you can come by my flat around 11.”
I get confirmations from everyone and I wave goodbye. I’m only a few steps away when Brian stops me. “Are you sure you’re okay walking home alone? I could go with you.” I smile and hug him.
“Thanks for the offer, but I don’t live to far. I’ll be fine, I promise.” He looks a little uneasy, but he kisses my forehead and sends me on my way.
As I’m walking home, I get the odd feeling that someone is following me. I start to speed up and that’s when I notice that a shadowy figure was getting closer. My building is at the end of the street so I decide to make a run for it. They’re able to keep up and they reach the building at the same time as me. I turn around and prepare to defend myself, without thinking I quickly swing my arm and hit them in the face. “What the fuck y/n?!”
“Roger!! What were you doing following me?! You scared the shit out of me!!” His nose was beginning to bleed, “That doesn’t mean you had to break my nose!” I sigh and I could feel my heart rate slowing down. “Look just let me help you clean up.”
I take him up to my flat, “You know for being kinda short you run pretty fast.” I roll my eyes and lead him the bathroom. He leans on the counter as I pull out towels and a first aid kit. I haven’t said anything since we entered the flat. As I begin to look at Rogers nose get really close. I blush a little but I try to focus on cleaning him up. “I’m sorry.”
He looks a little surprised. I don’t think he was expecting me to apologize. “Its okay, I’m sorry for scaring you. I just wanted to make sure you got home safely.” I look into his eyes and start to blush a little harder. “Well, your nose isn’t broken, but you do have blood all over your shirt.” He looks down and laughs a little.
“You wouldn’t mind washing this for me would you?”
“Yeah, I mean it’s the least I can do for making this mess.” He takes off his shirt and I stare a lot longer than I should have. I know I must look as red as a tomato right now so I avoid all eye contact and reach out to grab his shirt. As I step to grab it he pulls it out of my reach and I end up too close to him. When I look at him he slowly begins to lean in. It wasn’t long before we were heavily making out. My hands were in his hair and as I pulled on it he grabbed my ass. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” I pulled away and make my way towards living room.
“Y/n, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I thought we were in the same page.” It’s not that didn’t want to, I just felt like I was betraying everyone else. I looked at him and I sat down on the couch. I didn’t have answer as to why not, but he understood. We ended up just sitting on my couch talking late into the night. Around two or three I fell asleep leaning onto his shoulder. Being with him felt right.
Part 4
Tag List
@smile-nine @phantom-fangirl-stuff @fantasticchaoticwho @cosmicsskies
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