#Bran is almost 9

[zoueriemandzijnopmars]

As for their children, the younger ones had been mewling babes for most of his years at Winterfell. Only Robb and his baseborn half brother Jon Snow had been old enough to be worth his notice. The bastard was a sullen boy, quick to sense a slight, jealous of Theon's high birth and Robb's regard for him. For Robb himself, Theon did have a certain affection, as for a younger brother. - Theon I ACOK

"These are your foster brothers we seek." "No Stark but Robb was ever brotherly toward me, but Bran and Rickon have more value to me living than dead." - Theon IV ACOK

Theon reframing the narrative already before his big trauma hits is so interesting to me actually.

[melrosing]

watch mojo top ten Lannister v children beef

10. Loras v Jaime: about as lighthearted as any of this gets

9. Tyrion v Robert Arryn: sometimes the kids do have bad vibes

8. Tywin v Robb: he got so mad he threw a tantrum and demolished Robb’s whole family (almost)

7. Jaime v Robb: he did try to kill him but also he respects him

6. Jaime & Cersei v Arya: oft forgotten latecomer. Arya doesn’t even know

5. Tyrion v Joffrey: sometimes the kids really, really do have bad vibes

4. Cersei v Sansa: a sure classic

3. Cersei v Margaery: like half the driving force of AFFC, some real beefing w a teenager going on here

2. Jaime v Bran: the original Lannister beef with a child, nobody doing it like them, etc

1. Jaime v Hermione Granger: need I say more

[kitnjon]

I would love if you could recommend some newer modern Jonsa fics!!!!

Hi anon, Sure! Some modern AU's I am reading/read this year

You tend the ash, and I’ll tend the pine by @eruherdiriel

“Are we really never gonna talk about it?” Arya snaps. “We’re all gonna pretend everything is normal and happy when Sansa just got divorced?” “Statistically, it is normal,” Bran says. “The divorce rate is something like—” “It’s not normal! Not for this family, and not for Sansa. True love, forever and always, that’s Sansa.” “Jon isn’t the person she married,” Catelyn chides. “Not anymore.” — Sansa and Jon get divorced, but fully untangling their lives is impossible.

2. all eyes on us by @theshipshipper

Sansa is one of the biggest popstars on the planet, Jon is among the top streamers in Westeros -- and the internet goes wild when their well-hidden connection is uncovered.

3. frozen pines by @cellsshapedlikestars

It hits Jon, then - the sharp smell of ozone. A scent that years ago, he’d become all too familiar with. The aftermath of a lightning strike, the burning of wires. Electricity heavy in the air. The hair on his arms still stands on end. The scar on his hand feels tight. His heart is still pounding. It’s just a storm coming, he tells himself. He’s in White Harbor, not Eastwatch. It’s just a storm. or, the Exclusion Zone spreads for the first time in almost fifty years, with Sansa trapped inside. Jon will do whatever it takes to get her out.

4. tell me, what's the perfect time? by @prclainivrysteel

"I'm Jon," he reaches out for a handshake, "I probably should've led with that." "Yeah, probably," she replies, fighting against the goofy-looking smile that threatens to take over her face, "I'm Sansa." She slips her hand into his. His fingers are calloused, but the way he touches her is gentle. The cold press of his rings sends a pleasant shudder down Sansa's body, making her toes tingle. Jon softly repeats her name. The tips of his ears are red, most likely from the chilly, September winds. He looks away for a brief moment, as if gathering his thoughts, before meeting her gaze once more. "That’s pretty."

5. how she died by @cellsshapedlikestars

She's buried on a cold, dreary day in late January. That’s all Jon can seem to think about at the funeral. It’s too cold, the sky is too grey. Bleak and barren; there isn’t even snow. It’s an inane, intrusive thought. It could rain, at least, he thinks. The sky should weep for her. The universe should mourn. It doesn’t make sense. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t understand why anyone would murder Sansa Stark.

6. i'm on fire by @cellsshapedlikestars

“Okay,” she says, voice shaking. “I’ll do it. I’ll order an escort.” “Are you sure?” Randa asks, eyes wide like she doesn’t think Sansa is. It only makes Sansa’s teeth grind together. “Yes, I’m sure,” she grits out. If Harry wants an open relationship, she’s going to give it to him.

7. trojan horse by @cellsshapedlikestars

He’s only known her for an hour, but he’s pretty sure he’s in love with her.

8. Attorney–Client Privilege by @kit-kat21

No one in her family had ever done this before. Her parents were true soulmates. Sansa hated to admit that she partially blamed them for giving her such high expectations of marriage and love. Her brother and his wife, Jeyne (Westerling), had just celebrated their twelfth wedding anniversary. None of her grandparents, aunts or uncles had ever been divorced. Sansa Stark was the first in her whole family to have this distinct honor. So there was no one she could ask for help or advice. When she told her parents that she wanted to file first, Ned and Catelyn did what they did with all of their children when one of them came to them. They dove right in and helped the best they could. Googling divorce lawyers seemed to be the only thing they could do and from there, they read reviews because just like restaurants and hair salons, divorce lawyers were online-reviewed, too.

9. snow angels by @kingsansa

He finds, as the hairs on the back of his neck rise, as his heart completely fucking nosedives, that her voice is lower than he remembers, but unmistakable all of the same. Sansa Stark stands in the hallway of his shitty, hole-in-the-wall, egregiously outdated bar; unmistakable.

10. Later Nights by @justadram

Her husband, Jon Snow, might be in his off-season--blessedly. But with the Summer Olympics around the corner, her late-night Olympic show producer, Tyrion Lannister, hasn't forgotten about the unlikely Team USA star and their recording-setting ratings in 2022. He has his sights set on a triumphant rematch between the newlyweds any way he can get it.

11. We Run the Gamut (Let's Run Away) by @hilarychuff

Boy and girl meet. Live parallel lives. And, one day, they start to come together. Scenes inspired by all the different types of love for the Jonsa Valentine's Day Event 2024.

12. Touch me, I’m going to scream by @eruherdiriel

He’s one building away when he sees her—auburn hair in two neat French braids, a grey peacoat on, and hands in green fleece gloves holding a shopping bag that looks heavy. Sansa Stark is walking up the steps of the triple-decker, leaving a sleek, black sedan idling by the curb. Flustered, Jon jogs the rest of the way and reaches the steps just as Sansa raises a hand to ring the buzzer. “Hey,” he says, and she stops her motion. When she turns to him, Sansa’s eyes go wide. “Are you all right?” — Jon and Sansa—how touch evolves between them over the years.

[jozor-johai]

Revisiting the Rat Cook, Part 1: The Best Pie, and Lord Lamprey

This is the first part of a series I've been sitting on for a while, where I'm going to examine the symbols and themes present in the "Rat Cook" story, as relayed by Bran in ASOS Bran IV, and search reappearances of those elements throughout the rest of ASOIAF.

This series is predicated on the understanding that these books are rich with intentional symbolism, metaphor, and allegory, and that the repetition of these symbols and themes adds to their meaning.

In general, the symbols that are present in ASOIAF are limited by their ability to be inserted into the plot of the story (i.e. if the symbol of a stag killing a direwolf is important, there must be a way in which the characters are able to encounter such a scene within the plot's context). However, the metadiegetic legends that exist in-world for the characters of ASOIAF are not beholden to the same restrictions, and because GRRM is able to invent these myths in their entirety without restrictions on any of the individual symbolic elements, we can trust that each separate element of these in-world myths was placed intentionally.

With that in mind, I believe we can use stories like that of the Rat Cook as a sort of "road map" when looking at the reappearance of these same symbols and themes elsewhere in the story; I believe the "Rat Cook" story is the most distilled example of these elements. I don't mean to say that every instance of "rats" references the Rat Cook directly, but that the Rat Cook story provides a place where Martin is able to use these symbols in their most abstract form and describe their relationship to each other, so that when we see them appear again elsewhere in ASOIAF we might better understand what we are being shown.

So, among other things, the Rat Cook story is about a rat which eats rats, or a cook who serves kings; The Rat Cook story is about fathers and sons, about cannibalism, about trust, about vengeance, and about damning one's legacy.

This is likely going to be a 9-part series, but ideally almost all of these parts will be able to stand on their own. Each post will inform the next as I build my analysis, but hopefully each individual post is also interesting in its own right.

RtRC Part 1: "The Best Pie You Have Ever Tasted" and "Lord Lamprey"

This opening part, for better or worse, is going to retread some well-discussed ground: the clear parallels between the "Rat Cook" story and the incident in which Lord Manderly serves certain overlarge pies in ADWD The Prince of Winterfell, a scene lovingly dubbed "Frey Pie". However, as well-established as this comparison is, I want to begin here so I can begin to introduce how a closer analysis of the Rat Cook themes are present in this uncontroversially parallel scene, and how they might add more depth to interpreting that moment.

Not only does the scene evoke the same imagery, serving pie to the Lords amidst conspicuously missing sons, but the connection becomes even more direct when Wyman Manderly looks directly to the camera and says, “Hey reader, if you’re wondering where those Freys are, think back to any scary stories you know about pie”.

Okay, he doesn’t actually say that, but it’s close enough, and as much of a nudge we’re like to get from Martin (and which still went over my head on my first read through). Instead he does the next best thing, cueing Abel to sing while staggering past our POV:

"We should have a song about the Rat Cook," he was muttering, as he staggered past Theon, leaning on his knights. "Singer, give us a song about the Rat Cook."

Manderly seems to acknowledge the similarities himself, and most have noticed as well.

However, making the comparison between the story of the Rat Cook and Manderly’s actions is particularly interesting in their differences.

There are many ways in which Manderly’s pies, as a mirror, are appropriately an inversion of certain elements in the Rat Cook myth.

Returning to the scene as we see it in ADWD The Prince of Winterfell:

“Ramsay hacked off slices with his falchion and Wyman Manderly himself served, presenting the first steaming portions to Roose Bolton and his fat Frey wife, the next to Ser Hosteen and Ser Aenys, the sons of Walder Frey. "The best pie you have ever tasted, my lords," the fat lord declared. "Wash it down with Arbor gold and savor every bite. I know I shall." “True to his word, Manderly devoured six portions, two from each of the three pies, smacking his lips and slapping his belly and stuffing himself until the front of his tunic was half-brown with gravy stains and his beard was flecked with crumbs of crust.”

Manderly takes on only some of the roles of the Rat Cook here. Despite his status as lord, he plays the role of the humble cook, personally serving Roose Bolton, Walda Bolton (née Frey), Hosteen Frey, and Aenys Frey, all standing in for the “Andal King”. In this way, the role of “Andal King” as someone who has official power and the role of “Rat Cook” as effectively powerless dissident are played out straightforwardly. Bolton and his allies are backed by their army and the authority of the crown while Manderly has no official backing of his own.

Wyman even physically resembles the Rat Cook; Wyman’s blue eyes indicate he is presumably pale, and Wyman is prodigiously large, to mimic the descriptor of “white, and almost as huge as a sow”.

However, like the “Andal King” himself, who had a “second slice” of his own son, it is Wyman Manderly, and not Bolton nor the Freys, who devours two portions from each of the pies. In this way, the roles have elements which are interchangeable.

Wyman is acting out both roles, which is especially interesting because in this comparison is a single most definitive contrast: The Rat Cook, most notably, is not punished for serving the pie, as "a man has a right to vengeance". Instead, he is punished for violating guest right.

Now, Wyman—who lost his son to the Freys at the Red Wedding—certainly has a “right to vengeance”, but betraying guest right is something which Wyman Manderly takes great pains not to do. Manderly conspicuously notes that he gave the three dead Freys guest gifts upon their parting, marking them as no longer guests under his roof, and subsequently, theoretically, freeing him to kill them. Manderly introduces the idea while Davos marks the distinction for the reader’s sake in ADWD Davos IV:

“The Freys came here by sea. They have no horses with them, so I shall present each of them with a palfrey as a guest gift. Do hosts still give guest gifts in the south?" "Some do, my lord. On the day their guest departs.”

The Freys, on the other hand, as executors of the Red Wedding, are the most notable violators of guest right, while the Boltons contributed their part as well; both are being punished for that sin by Manderly-the-Rat-Cook here, marking the inversion of the story. In this iteration, the party serving the pie seems to warrant no judgment; instead, the pie itself is the judgment, served as retribution. With that connection in mind, it's worth remembering the other importance of the Rat Cook story, based on its placement in ASOS and which I think has often been overshadowed by Manderly’s “Frey Pies” incident.

In the Rat Cook story, after the Rat Cook's punishment, he spends an immortal future forever eating his own descendants, a scenario in which Bran describes the rats of the Nightfort as “children running from their father”. That eternal, kin- and legacy- devouring doom does not just come secondary to the punishment, it is a part of the punishment following the violation of guest right, and introduces the notion of an entire family being cursed for that violation... and, for good measure, is brought up in ASOS Bran IV, chapter that occurs only a few chapters after the Red Wedding itself.

In one respect, this is just another reinforcement for the reader of the sanctity of guest right and of the laws of the old gods. Coming so soon after the Red Wedding, the Rat Cook story hints at the fall of House Frey. Walder Frey, most culpable violator of guest right, has apparently doomed the rest of his dynasty to death, punished for his actions, the way that the Rat Cook, too, is a patriarch who creates not only his own ruin but also the ruin of his progeny. Although Walder himself is not literally tying the nooses, it is Walder who has metaphorically become the father "devouring his children" indirectly through his ruthlessness. Wyman Manderly, then, is merely an agent of that doom.

On the subject of the Freys being cursed by violating guest right, only one of the named consumers of the pie, Aenys Frey, is truly mirroring the Rat Cook legend by literally eating his own son, Rhaegar Frey. Both Aenys and Hosteen Frey, on the other hand, are specifically called out in the scene as being the “sons of Walder Frey”. It’s appropriate within the mirrored Rat Cook motif to invoke Walder’s name as patriarch as well as the promise of other “sons” that might succumb to their father’s insatiable appetite for status; this sentence invokes the dynasty of the Frey household. Indeed, Walder Frey himself also has shared motifs with the Rat Cook: like the immortal Rat Cook, Walder Frey has nearly innumerable children and grandchildren, and he too seems to refuse to die.

If a named heir in Westeros is like the ASOIAF version of Chekov’s gun, then the Late Walder Frey is sitting on Chekov’s arsenal; once he becomes the late Late Lord Frey, it’s going to explode. If that happens in an upcoming book, then the Rat Cook story might be setting up the idea of how an eventual succession crisis of House Frey might further this metaphorical connection, with this doomed family turning on itself, each running from the shadow of their father’s legacy like the Rat Cook's children run from him in the Nightfort.

Lord Lamprey

Now, to push through a little more symbolic linking between the Frey Pie scene and Lord Manderly:

If we consider the “pie” element as a key part of the Rat Cook story, then seeing a “pie” specifically in the hands of Wyman Manderly prompts a connection with a noted favorite of Manderly’s: lamprey pie. As early as ACOK Bran II, we learn that:

“His own people mock him as Lord Lamprey”,

Interestingly, we see in that same chapter a telling metaphor considering Manderly and lampreys not in a pie:

“Lord Wyman attacked a steaming plate of lampreys as if they were an enemy host”.

Considering Wyman’s lampreys-as-enemy association makes for curious contrast later, in ADWD Davos IV, as Manderly is feigning allegiance with the hated Freys. Here, Manderly has just stepped away from the feast in order to secretly treat with Davos, and the food served may contain more meaning than at first appears:

“In the Merman's Court they are eating lamprey pie and venison with roasted chestnuts. Wynafryd is dancing with the Frey she is to marry. The other Freys are raising cups of wine to toast our friendship.”

The reappearance of this noted lamprey pie might take on more significance knowing that some of those eating it become a pie later on. The reminder of the association between Manderly and his lamprey pies seems even more intentional when the “Lord Lamprey” nickname conspicuously returns as Bolton’s men search for the missing Freys in ADWD Reek III:

"You did not find our missing Freys." The way Roose Bolton said it, it was more a statement than a question. "We rode back to where Lord Lamprey claims they parted ways, but the girls could not find a trail."

Invoking his nickname in this scene draws a connecting line between Manderly’s favorite pie, the “enemy host” of lampreys, the missing Freys, and “lamprey pie” being served as a symbol of the fake “friendship” between the Freys and Manderlys.

If that Frey-Manderly friendship is marked by mentions of lamprey pie, and Manderly loves to eat lamprey like he would eat an enemy, and we see in The Prince of Winterfell that Manderly apparently loves to eat his enemies, having two portions of each Frey pie, we might think that the Freys are being paralleled with Manderly’s favorite pie filling: lampreys. If that is the case, then comparing the punished Freys to lampreys is a scathingly fitting image, and I mean that literally.

Considering that carnivorous lampreys latch onto fishes to slowly eat the fish’s blood and flesh while the fish still swims, then looking at an image like this makes for some serious symbolic resonance if you consider the Tullys as fish (as they often are described) and the pie-filling Freys as pie-filling lampreys. It certainly provides a strong visual metaphor for the Frey’s “late” and half-hearted vassalage to Hoster Tully, how they dealt with Catelyn, and how they are now parasitically using Edmure—he sits in Riverrun at the end of ADWD, but with Freys latched onto him, bleeding him like they did his family.

This series is otherwise about pies and rats, not lampreys, but I will mention a few other interesting associations with lampreys that are worth looking into. The Stokeworths, when they are desperately trying to secure a match for Lollys, serve each of their prospective suitors lamprey pie, perhaps a signaling of the Stokeworth’s parasitic place at court, or the attitude towards their search for their daughter’s match. Note that in that context, Littlefinger remarks that he loves lamprey pie, perhaps fittingly for someone who has risen high by making use of his parasitic attachments to those more powerful. By contrast, when our intrepid advocate for truth and justice—Davos—is jailed after his return from the Battle of the Blackwater, he is served lamprey pie in the dungeons, but finds it “too rich” to eat. We have already seen that Davos has no stomach for the blind flattery that some of Stannis’ other lords have, and this scene describes that same character trait. I believe there are even further associations that are worth investigating, but for the sake of this essay, we must move on and end here for now.

In the next part, I'll focus on how it's relevant that the Rat Cook's pie and Manderly's pie were both allegedly "pork" pies, and where that reappears as well.

[visenyaism]

reading fire and blood and i'm increasingly convinced George has never actually met a child

it is very very consistent in ASOIAF that almost every child character acts about 2 years older than they are: Arya seems about 11 but is 9, Sansa seems 13 but is 11, Bran acts 8-9ish but is 6, etc. fire and blood is just completely worse in every way including realistic child behavior though lmao. I’ve worked with kids for many years when i was younger, I had to do so much developmental psych during college, and it’s just consistently way off in this series. You just have to turn that part of your brain off a little bit. 

[yaneznayunichego]

I think I'll be adding ~2.5 months (+ 21%) to every Asoiaf year in my mind from now on (maybe the months just have more days like 36, I don't know, but it adds up to 14.5 of our months per year).

So Sansa is 11 years old in the first book, but if you switch to our timeline, she's over 13. Better! Dany is about 16 when she weds, Bran is almost 9, Jaime is 37 yo, maester Aemon died at the age of 123 etc

It's not critical to the storyline and the experience of growing up, but it's a little less ridiculous

[ai-megurine]

Lady dreamfyre 1: What inspired you to write the fic this way? 2: Which scene did you put on first? 3: What is your favorite plot? 4: What's your favorite line of dialogue? 5: Which part was hardest to write? 6: What is your fic special or different from all your other fics? 7: Where did the title come from? 8: Did any real person or event inspire any part of this? 9: Was there an alternate version of this fic? 10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story? 11: What do you like most about this fic? 12: What do you like least about this fic? 13: What song did you hear that made you want to write this story? Or if you haven't heard anything yet, what do you think readers should hear to keep us reading? 14: Is there anything you would like readers to learn from reading this fic? 15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

Hello!!!! I'm so sorry for being late 😥

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I was thinking about how the characters of Hotd are bad at the game. Like, any character from GOT would have obliterated EVERYONE. Can you imagine if Cersei had been in Alicent's place? And Tywin in Otto's? The Dance wouldn't have happened cuz Viserys, Daemon and Rhaenyra would have died Red Wedding style. We're talking about Tywin "Reynes/Rains of Castamere" Lannister.

And then it occured to me that Sansa would have 100% gotten along with Alicent and/or Helaena.

At first, I considered teleporting Sansa in that era, then I found the idea silly so I went for reincarnation. I just need to pick in whom!

2: Which scene did you put on first?

Helaena riding Lady Dreamfyre and Bran talking to Sansalaena

3: What is your favorite plot?

From the ones who have been published, I have two. Aegon deciding he wants to be King and working for it, and Helaena plotting to help him

4: What's your favorite line of dialogue?

From the published one it's : « You could lose a leg and I would still love you the same. It isn't the state of your body that determines your value. It's your heart. And I love your heart. I love you. » by Helaena in Chapter 27.

I also love this exchange: « "And one more thing. Have the watchtower repaired before the lords arrive, and light a beacon in it." "A beacon, my lord?" 'Lord Larys, why does Her Grace always wear green? It isn't the colours of House Hightower.' 'The beacon on the Hightower, do you know what colour it glows when Oldtown calls its banners to war?' "Aye. And make it green." » by Cregan in Chapter 24

I have other planned that I like more than this one, but I won't spoil you 😉

5: Which part was hardest to write?

Rhaenyra in general. She's incredibly difficult to write in my opinion because I don't want her to be cartoonish but at the same time she's genuinely entitled and dumb

6: What is your fic special or different from all your other fics?

I planned the ending before posting anything

7: Where did the title come from?

My love for magical bonds between dragon/direwolf and their human. Also I love Dreamfyre and Lady

8: Did any real person or event inspire any part of this?

Reading isekai manwha definitely helped 😆

9: Was there an alternate version of this fic?

Yup! Sansa was almost reincarnated into Alicent

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Helaegon brainrot got to me. At first Helaegon was mostly due to the arranged marriage being logical for the time, but it got to me!!

11: What do you like most about this fic?

The blending of Sansa and Helaena!!

12: What do you like least about this fic?

Maybe rushing Sansalaena acceptance of her fate? I don't know. I'm pretty happy with my work 😊

13: What song did you hear that made you want to write this story? Or if you haven't heard anything yet, what do you think readers should hear to keep us reading?

No song made me write the story per say but I have several songs that remind of the characters.

• God of War by Peyton Parrish → Lyarra Umber

• Warrior Song by TheFatRat → Daeron

• Raise your banners by Within Temptation → The Greens

• Worthless by Bullet for my Valentine → Aemond

• Sound of War by Timothee Profitt → Aegon

• Close to the Sun by TheFatRat → Helaena

And many others!!

14: Is there anything you would like readers to learn from reading this fic?

Magic isn't good or bad. It just exists. Same with dragons, direwolves, etc.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

That I love writing court intrigue!!!! I'm already planning other Dance AU.

[cityandking]

1, 5, 11, 15, 18 for bran, dai, vesper + narayani!

tyyyyyy // oc asks childhood edition

1. What was your muse's personality like as a kid? How has it changed since then?

BRAN — bran was a happy, energetic, and curious kid, quickly bored with most things except the ocean and the stories that the captains who worked for her family would tell. sometimes she would sometimes sink into bouts of anxiety or displeasure, but she would always bounce swiftly back. since then, she's leveled out a bit, and there's an edge of old grief in her, but for the most part she's still that happy, energetic, curious girl, endlessly eager for the ocean. DAI — as a boy, dai was solemn and helpful and quite grown up for his age, and he made friends awkwardly but cared for them a great deal. he's still all of those things, but he also says what he thinks more and has the sort of assurance and perspective he never did as a kid VESPER — vesper was always a quiet girl, a little lost among the chaos of five older siblings. she was also curious and eager and hungry for many things that she didn't know how to name but included meaning and understanding and friendship. after the Circle, she was also quiet and also lost and also curious and hungry and newly afraid—of the quiet and the loss and the hunger. but she learned how hide the fear, and eventually how to pretend it wasn't there, and as a grown up she's settled back into that quiet curiosity and generally has the grace and patience of someone who knows themself entirely, if only because they had no one else to get to know so well NARAYANI — little rani was stubborn and fierce and deeply dedicated to the clan but also prone to wandering, always with one foot out in the world. as she grew up, she kept the stubbornness and the fierceness and the dedication, but she also wandered more and grew a little distant with her people.

5. Does your muse have any siblings? What was their relationship like growing up? Is it any different now?

BRAN — has a younger brother named ellis, who is about 12 years younger than her. after their mother died, bran pretty much raised him. she hasn't seen him sine she ran away almost ten years ago, but around the time the campaign stopped she heard he was out looking for her and she isn't sure how she feels about that. she wants to see him more than anything, but she was a child when she left him with only a letter and she's afraid of how he must feel about that all these years later, and also afraid of who he may have grown up into without her DAI — dai has no siblings. scratch sometimes calls him a brother, which to be honest is something he's vaguely bemused and touched by. he knows it means a great deal to scratch, but he doesn't know that he really gets it VESPER — vesper has five older siblings (Kit, Helene, Roxie & Rosie, and Jonah). she was closest to Kit (10 years older and her favorite) and feuded with the twins (Roxie & Rosie, 5 years older and desperate to stand out). helene (9 years older) was sent away to live with her future's husband's family when vesper was young, so vesper doesn't remember her well, and jonah (2 years older) was often unwell and doted on by their mother but rarely around the rest of the kids. in the Circle, vesper lost contact with most of them. Kit wrote as regularly as he could, but over the years that went from a letter a month to a letter once or twice a year as he took up more of their father's responsibilities and eventually succeeded him as bann trevelyan. Helene wrote yearly, long letters but a little impersonal. the twins would have ignored her forever, except that roxie went to the conclave and died, which rosie can never un-blame vesper for, so that really sank any hope of salvaging that relationship. jonah became a chantry cleric, and while vesper actually quite enjoyed reconnecting with him, they don't have much in common these days. NARAYANI — rani was raised as a ward of the clan, which means in a sense all the children in the clan were her siblings, but in practice meant she was mostly an only child raised by one of the older clan members.

11. What expectations were placed on your muse as a child? Who had those expectations for your muse? How did your muse feel about them?

BRAN — bran was expected to eventually take up her mother's place at the head of the ar calagri mercantile network and assume all the responsibilities that came with—not just the business and the trade, but also the friendship with the empress and the cooperation with the eye. she was the eldest daughter, it was her birthright, and everyone from her parents to the folk who worked for them knew it. this was a great honor when bran was a girl, but after her mother died and that became a looming obligation—and as she learned more about what exactly it entailed—she realized she simply couldn't do it. part of it was an unwavering moral surety, part of it was just plain fear. she ran away about it. DAI — honestly the only expectations placed on dai as a kid were the ones he put on himself, but growing up surrounded by holy folk in the midst of a war against a tyrant, he held himself to the expectation to become that when he grew up. this was, as far as little dai was concerned, simply The Right Thing To Do, and he went about it with single-minded dedication. (I don't know that he's gotten healthier about that mindset, but he's at least broadened his conceptualization of The Right Thing.) VESPER — one of the perks of being the youngest child was that her family had fewer expectations for vesper compared her older siblings. probably serve the chantry, of course, but she could have found other avenues—marry well, become a knight, even go to university. really the only expectation was that she not bring shame to the family. this was about the only expectation she understood enough to have feelings about, so it was unfortunate when she shamed the family by being a mage. whoops. NARAYANI — the clan's expectations of rani were fairly straightforward: to do right by her people, to follow the word of her keeper, to keep her heart true. it was maybe a little unfulfilling, but rani was content with all of these things—she trained well, she became a hunter young, she gladly took up the duties her keeper asked of her until she had no keeper to ask them.

15. What's one childhood memory that has stuck with your muse over the years? What's it significance to your muse now?

BRAN — when she was about eight or so her mother took her sailing—not just out on the ships in the long, narrow harbor of Rivia but actually out on the open ocean. it was a gift as much as a curse; from that moment on there was nothing else branwen was ever going to be but a sailor. (her mother was the same, and understood; bran's grateful that they had that to share before her mother passed) DAI — during the rebellion, sitting near a fire, watching the members of the order cluster together to speak. they had looked so impossibly enormous in the firelight, armor gold, wearing their symbols of selene and pelor, weary and worn and dedicated to freeing the land from the tyrant king. it was the first time he'd understood what faith was—not the trappings or even the shine, but feeling with his whole heart, that is something worth believing in VESPER — being twelve, in the back of some cart or wagon, turning around to stare at her family as the templars took her away and seeing her father turn his back while the twins grinned, self-satisfied, and kit stared after her in open heartbreak. years later, in all her nightmares about him, her father doesn't have a face NARAYANI — once, when she was maybe twelve or thirteen, the clan stayed a few weeks near an old elvhen ruin, and rani had always understood the weight of their history, the fall of arlathan, never again shall we submit, but she remembers slipping away from camp and walking among the ancient, crumbled pillars and finding a fragment of fresco in the lee of a half-standing wall and understanding the grief of losing this—not just the cohesion and might of the empire, but the little things too.

18. What's one thing that instantly transports your muse back to their childhood? Why?

BRAN — she and ellis baked a lot of cookies in the years between their mother's death and bran's disappearance, and they still bring her back. DAI — it was strange, not necessarily in a good way, to be back in his childhood bedroom after traveling around the void for months. being back there, sitting with his dad after dinner, making him tea and cooking in their kitchen, he felt both a child again and too big for his skin. VESPER — kit. seeing him again, talking to him again, even though they're both older—even though there's a touch of grey in kit's beard—makes her feel like a girl again, unfettered and free. NARAYANI — iravel, the elder who mostly looked after her, would drink this specific blend of tea. rani doesn't drink it much herself, but when she catches a whiff of that particular mix of herbs, it instantly brings her back to that old aravel.

[leesielex]

Just say you want to ignore show canon and book canon. Sansa is a great character and she is very observant but she is a slow learner because with all she observes in book and show it took her 7 seasons at least to learn. In the books she has yet to show she has learned after 5 books with only 2 left. I see the excuse she was young used by Sansa Stans a lot but then their criticism and hatred for other characters, especially Dany, (who is two years older, 13, same age Sansa currently is, when books begin and only 15 at the end). Sansa was only a year younger when married to Tyrion than Dany was married to Khal Drogo. Tyrion is in his 20's while Drogo was in his 30's. Tyrion did not violate her but Drogo did violate Dany. Dany learns and grows and we clearly see that. Arya is 9 at the start, Bran even younger at 7. Arya especially of those two is measured harshly for every action and reaction. And given very little credit. Dany and Arya are of similar age to Sansa yet reading their chapters they learn very quickly. It is canon that they learn quickly.

Read Dany learning to scout from Arstan (Ser Barristan) because her Dothraki scouts reported to her but she wanted to learn herself if she is to lead a military campaign. Arstan teaches her how to count the enemy camp while scouting and she learns almost immediately and he confirms she is correct that there are about 5000 defending Yunkai.

We see how intelligent she is again in the books because the strategies to free the slaves and sack Astapor and take Meereen are all her strategies. They aren't corrupt, they aren't evil, they aren't the ideas of the men around her like Ser Jorah and Daario like they are in show. Both Robb and Tywin Lannister use similar tactics when battling each other, that is common strategy to try to deceive and fake out the other army to win. She sees 5000 defending Yunkai with sellswords on each flank and the slave army in the middle. She doesn't attack head on because her freedmen will fight and many will die and she won't risk them needlessly but she can't let the slaves of Yunkai suffer when she can help them. She asks to Parley with each leader, separately. The leader of the Stormcrows tells her no, straight out, they won't switch sides, she pretends to be naive and says she will give them until the next day. Then Mero comes in, a nasty man who lets it known he would SA her, and his answer is also No, so she gifts them barrels of wine to drink that evening. She again, ignores his very clear no, and gives him until the next day to answer. The slave master she gives 3 days to free the slaves, and purposely singes his tokar, not causing him any harm, so he knows she is serious and he should have a healthy fear of her, her dragons; and her armies. When speaking she never says she won't attack the army outside of Yunkai, she very specifically only promises not to attack the city within its Walls for 3 days, and only then if they refuse her terms.

We know here that this is to be viewed as a genius military strategy and not as madness because of her calm demeanor and Ser Jorah and Ser Barristan's reactions. They are not only calm and in agreement with her, even tho Ser Barristan never agrees with Jorah, they compare her to Rhaegar, who was well known to be intelligent. It was thought Rhaella must have swallowed books while pregnant with him.

We read time and time again in Arya and Dany chapters that they are learning and learning quickly. They are very adaptable. We see Dany measure every decision, every mistake, and analyze and scrutinize each action she takes on if she did the right thing, could she do better, and most importantly how can she help others and take care of them, with the least loss of life for those she is trying to help, and even in most cases, to her enemies.

We do not get this in Sansa chapters. We get a lot of observations, very insightful observations most would miss, but we do not see her learning from her mistakes, weighing her mistakes and decisions, we don't even see her take any accountability or to have the self-awareness to do so. She does learn, everyone learns, but Sansa does indeed learn slowly. It took how much evidence and incidents for her to see the Lannisters for who they were? And she is currently in the Vale on the path to make the same mistakes. Hopefully, last minute she will finally learn, but if/when she does, it will have been slow.

In the show Sansa is also slow to learn. It's pretty much the same story with the Lannisters but she doesn't learn anything until it is too late when it comes to Littlefinger and Ramsay. It takes her being brutally SA'ed in the show, basically tortured by a grotesque sadist/sociopath for her to learn in the show. I would say let's change THAT part of canon, not her entire personality and a core part of who she is. Let's stop making sexual violence against women something to make them "stronger" while we can absolutely make characters have varying degrees of growing up and learning since people do in fact learn and grow at different paces.

It's just more people wanting to erase canon, Show and book, to have their own headcanon of their fave character, making hypocritical complaints against the key 5 while making excuses for everything Sansa does. If she gets Grace for her young age then all characters do. If you want to rewrite canon then you can't hold such contempt for Dany fans who point out rightfully that the book texts do not support the mad queen arc, or Arya becoming a cold psychotic assassin that fucks off on a ship and leaves her family at the end. They are all young, that is not an excuse for one character but not for any other.

[astoriacolumnstaircase]

tag 9 people you want to get to know better

tagged by @overnighttosunflowers

favorite color: yellow. All hues, but there's a very sunny maybe almost obnoxious yellow I painted my hallway and stairwell that is maybe my favorite

currently reading: This Is How You Lose the Time War, but only in fits and starts. It's not the fault of the novella, it's really good, i'm just having a hard time holding attention with reading right now so it's probably time to seek out short stories again.

last song: Aaron Copland Appalachian Spring. I don't remember which movement, it was on the radio when I was turning on something to dance to.

last series: Summer Camp Island. I love that show it's so good.

last movie: Probably My Neighbor Totoro? Or Rescuers Down Under? I don't remember. Edit: holy shit death on the nile i watched it on a plane and my memory Sucks. French and Saunders were in it! I love them

sweet/savory/spicy: All of these options are so good. Probably savory, but I have been craving a good bran muffin lately, which is like, savory sweet when made correctly.

currently working on: tailoring a dress so the sleeves fit where I like to wear them. And a long story about a woman building ancillary bodies out of the things she's killed in the forest.

Tagging @batwingsandblackcats, @soudeorabisk, @antlereed, @jupitersson, @masterqwertster, @picturesofthegoneworlds, @distant--shadow, and @bolo-from-aeor

[lolitastories]

BLACK AND BLOOD

Y/N L/N is the daughter of the Great Khal Drogo although she was raised by the king of the unknown lands. After finding out he died she travels and finds the one who caused his death. Along this adventure she meets the mother of dragons. Jon Snow. Night walkers. We will see if she really has the Dothraki blood flowing through her veins.

Chapter 9

We walk back to Winterfell in silence. He told me he wanted me to meet someone. Something about him being a true fan of stories like me. I don’t know how he got the idea of that, I dread having to read even a message. “This is Samwell. Has read millions of books in his short years of life”

“Nice to meet you Samwell”

“Please just Sam” I smile

“Y/N”

“I bet you two will have fun” Bran says as he leaves the room. I turn back to Sam who stares at me with no clue on his face.

“I told him one story and now he thinks we can be bestfriend because we have that in common”

“Well if you came to become bestfriends you’re too late, Jon is my best friend” I laugh at his sarcasm.

“That pains me. Oh well” I take a seat. I grab and take a look at some of the books he has on the table. “So you and Jon are bestfriends?” He nods, taking a seat infront of me with more books.

“He saved me when I arrived at castle black and has been saving me from that day on” Alway trying to save people. “We became brothers of the night watch together. We crossed the wall together. We survived the wall together. We found love together.” He turns to me, lowering his voice. “Her name is Gilly. We have a kid but its a long story. His was a wildling named Ygritte. That is when the night watch didn’t get along with the widling and got into a war. Ygritte got killed.” He sits back closing his book. “At this point Jon has lost his father, lady stark, his first love and two brothers. I don’t know how he keeps standing”

“He still has something to fight for. His two sisters, Bran, and all of the north”

“Yeah. I mean after getting killed by his own man and surviving it. Going to war with a ruthless guy, Bolton. Survivng the dead twice, I don’t know how he keeps on standing” My gaze falls off the books. I look up to Sam.

“When you stop fighting, that is when it's all over. There is always a reason to continue and Jon has plenty of those”

“Yeah.”

“So, tell me about Gilly. Why is the story long?” I could see his eyes light up at her name. I stayed with him for a while, hearing his story. How they met, to when they moved so he could become maester up to now.

“I want to marry her when this is all over. Live the life she deserves after almost her whole life she was kept by her father-” He stopped when a knock on the door interrupted us. “Come in” And in walked Jon.

“Hey” Before I could answer Sam spoke up.

“Hey! I was just telling her how you are my bestfriend” He goes over and wraps one arm around his shoulder. “And how many times I had to save you” Jon laughs

“Seems like you needing saving is something common” I stand walking past them. “I need to check up on my people. It was nice to meet you Sam'' With a smile I walked out. I didn’t know what it was but I had a weird sensation. Like I couldn’t make myself look at Jons eyes. Maybe it was the Ygritte thing bothering me. His first love. Maybe I am angry at myself for being stupid enough to think I was his like he was mine. Maybe I am being stupid right now to think this is important, that I am important. We haven’t established a set relationship but damn, I knew getting into any of these was not the best idea. I rush towards the gate and see the unsullied and dothraki on guard while some sleep.

“Princess, would you like us to set you up for the night?” I nod at the dothraki offering. I go around the camp, tiring myself out. I couldn’t help but feel a bad feeling. The cold was becoming bearable at the time I laid down. The use of fire wasn’t necessary until we traveled across the sea. I like to admit that the sound of the wood burning while my eyes closed was sort of calming. Like fire making music. Back home there was a water feature in the castle that surrounded and echoed in the walls. The water making music. While traveling towards the sea you could feel the air. The air making music. I am yet to feel the earth make music. Another thing I loved about sleeping to music is hearing the birds sing. In Winterfell the only birds I heard were crows. At first light coming visible I stood and took in a deep breath. I walk into the gates and towards the stairs.

“Goodmorning Y/N” I smile as I see Sansa walking towards me.

“Goodmorning Lady Sansa” I bowed my head a little. We both turn around looking down below at the people working early in the morning.

“We had a room in order for you”

“Thank you, but I prefer sleeping where my people sleep” She nods.

“Can I ask you a question?” I respond with a simple yes. I turn towards her, giving her my full attention. “You don’t seem to trust Daenerys as much as everyone does. My brother seems to trust more in her than the person leading her army” I chuckled.

“Trust doesn’t come easy. I think in this world you can’t give your trust to many people. I am here for loyalty. Yet, your cause is convincing to fight as well. I will say trusting without letting your guard down is advisable. She is here to help your cause. Once this is all over, I think she will be very generous with your idea on what to do with Winterfell.”

“So you're telling me to trust her because she is fighting a war for my cause. Yet this can cause her to lose just as much if Winterfell stood alone” The grin in my face didn’t leave. She was a strong girl. Strong girls in this world are tested every day. But she is more than strong, she is delicate to the touch. Someone who would do anything for her people.

“Yes. Thankfully she understood this can affect her in the future. Now she is here fighting. If you can’t trust the people who choose to fight alongside you, then that is how the otherside might win. The good thing is that when this is all over, Winterfell will only have one queen”

“That is not what I want. I want Winterfell to be independent, people want Jon to be King” Her eyes fall to the ground. Turning her body over the balcony again.

“One thing I have learned about the Starks is that they will do anything for their family. And this family will fight and die for the north. The north sees that and will continue to support whoever supports them”She only gives me a nod. I shake it off. “Now if you will excuse me. I will continue on with my walk” walk? I didn’t even know where I was going. After my departure I enter the common room. Traveled through the dining area. I stopped when I reached a hallway. At the end of it was red eyes staring back at me. I have seen dogs before but nothing like this. The creature stood up on his four legs. Shaking his white fur and taking one step forward. I raise my hand towards him. A low growl came from his end. Backing up was no longer an option as I hit a dead end. I look over to my left, from where I came from but if I made a run for it or scream, the creature would get to me before I could escape. Desperately I moved my hand around to touch the back wall and twisted the handle, got in and closed the door. “Who leaves a huge dog outside like that?” I sigh, pressing my forehead against the door. Now how do I leave?.I turned around and saw that I walked into a bedroom. The fire was on and the bed made. I rushed over towards the window but it was too high for me to climb down. I heard scratching on the otherside of the door and I swear to you that almost made me jump out the window. Maybe the snow will be a nice place to land on. The sun was rising more and more and the scratching continued. The door creaked open, caught my attention and I saw Jon standing beside the creature.

“Are you okay?” I shook my head quickly seeing as he took steps closer the creature wasn’t far behind. “This is Ghost. A direwolf” I give him an uneasy smile.

“Oh hello Ghost” Sarcasm all over my voice. “Did you teach him to corner people?” Moving closer to the wall beside the window. Jon shakes his head with a laugh.

“No. He is harmless.” Really?! I doubt that. “Its okay” he whispers as he takes more steps towards me until he is right infront of me. I grip onto his leather as I hear the direwold growl again.

“Does that sound harmless?!” I close my eyes having seen the direwolf walk closer to me. I could feel his nose smelling me.

“You’re a stranger. He won’t do anything to you” I grip harder pulling myself closer to him now. “Ghost. Sit” Jons arm wraps around me. I felt the vibration of his laugh. “See? Harmless” I look up to him rolling my eyes. “Don’t like wolves much?”

“Not ones that growl at me” There it is again a laugh. “Not funny. He could have easily ripped me to shreds” One of his hand moves to grab my cheek. I look at him and his grin has gone away. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips on mine. My mind goes back to last night. She is not here anymore. I never cared about what people thought about me. This will not stop me from fullfilling anything I set myself to do. The pain that might come as the result of this at the end will not stop me from hearing my heart. When I pulled him even closer is when I heard another growl. Now that will stop me. I looked down at Ghost who was just sitting there, looking at us.

“Ghost” Jon warned. “Come on.” I watched as he opened the door for Ghost. But before he leaves I could sware he gave me a warning with his eyes.

“Ghost doesn’t like me” I hear the door close. I walk over to the fire, trying to warm myself some more. “If he could speak he would tell you he doesn’t like me. I am going to wake up tomorrow to him staring at me, ready to jump on me.” I looked over to Jon who was standing there watching me.

“Sam told me what you two spoke about yesterday”

“There is no need for an explanation.” I wave him off.

“I would feel much better if I did” he walked closer taking both my hands in his. “Ygritte was someone I fell for and will forever love” That felt like a stab. The words I know I didn’t have to say were stuck in my throat. “We were at war and I had to choose.” my eyes move up to meet his. “This is a way of telling you that I don’t want to choose this time”

“You don’t have to.” I didn’t say this because this situation was different than it was with Ygritte and him. We are fighting for the same side. We don’t have to kill eachother. “It's not the perfect timing but whatever you choose, I will accept” I move my hands to hold his face closer.

“I want to be with you, and I want you to be by my side.” a smile creeped on my face. “I don’t mean drop everything for me, or give up on things you believe in because of me, I just want you to be with me. Just-”

“Ok” I give him a quick kiss. “Ok. I want you by my side too. King or no King. Lord Commander or not. Fighting against the dead or against the queen. I don’t care as long as you are with me. Whatever happens will happen, you just have to promise me that it will always be us”

“And Ghost” he quickly added. I laugh, shaking my head.

“And Ghost” I kissed him again. “Your siblings” another kiss. “Mine” another kiss. “But mainly and most importantly, us”

“Us” The next kiss spread fire around my body. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me towards the bed. I was laying under him and his kisses traveled down my neck.

“Jon” I sighed, gripping onto his clothes, trying to move it away. He got the message. I could no longer feel leather or fur but his warm skin under my finger tips. He stopped kissing looking down at me as he untied my shirt. “Will you be careful?” His eyes were warm against mine. He didn’t have to answer because I knew he would be. Maybe it was me being under him that made me feel safe. I heard so many times about how this is supposed to be a nervous situation and that it wouldn’t be something as easy as breathing. My breathing was rapid but my head was clear. Everything he was doing, my body was moving in sync with his.

“Anything for you princess” He whispered, coming down to take my lips again. My upper half was naked and I did the same to any other clothing we had on us. My hands moved to grip onto his back and he gripped onto the fur sheets on the side of my head. His kiss traveled down my neck again but I couldn’t hold it any longer.

“Jon” I whine. “Please?” he hovered over me. The disapperation in my face showed. “I need you” My legs wrap around his waist pulling him down.

“Anything for you princess” I closed my eyes, taking in what he was doing. His kiss moves up to claim my lips again. One hand moving inbetween us to place him in the right direction. The warm feeling was there again. He pushes in and my whimper is swallowed by him. The grip around his back grows harder as he keeps pushing in. His thrust goes slow, allowing me to feel every inch of him. The uneasy feeling below was heaven. My head was in ecstasy as the feeling of everything was becoming too much. “You’re doing so good” oh that right there. That right there was the moment my whines and wimpers turned into a moan. The pleasure running up my spine. His thrust continues to speed up.

“Don’t stop,” I pleaded, pulling us closer. I moan as his cock slammed in harder than before.

“So good. Such a pretty view” Jon grunts, grounding his hips into yours even harder and going so fast that you're shaking the bed. The pleasure and pain mixed into one felt too good to come back to reality, to make him stop. Oh and when I felt a weird sensation I lifted my hips towards him and that sensation increased.

“Jon” I moaned, unaware of what this feeling was. It was a fire burning hotter every second in my lower stomach. I felt it when we kissed but not this intense.

“It's okay.” he moaned, his head falling beside mine. “I feel it too”He speaks out breathily, making more grunting sounds. Jon doesn’t stop his movement after the feeling was residing. I grip hard onto him as the burning sensation came. He moves to hover over me again with pulling out of me. “What?” He asked with a stupid smile.

“Do you mind if we keep practicing this?”

[sixohsixoheightfourtwo]

tag game: 9 questions for 9 people

tagged by @phneltwrites one million years ago (december 2023)

last song: Tell You (Today) (original 12'' vocal) - Loose Joints . this is a disco deep cut that I heard for the first time the other day on twitter. anyway . really really good. i invite you to check it out if you enjoy a bop. go here for an absolutely wild 16-minute version described by the uploadeder as 'super wigged out and funky'.

currently watching: cooking crush. pit babe. the sign. (not up to date on any of these . Sigh.) khun chai (almost finished. love ittt). ossan's love 2018 (listen .... it's good actually). 1670 netflix. Treme (super underrated series about new orleans recovering in the wake of hurricane katria)

three ships: restricting this to the thai bl context 1. I gotta say both jiutian and tinncharn made me absolutely wild in the last few months so i think i have to include filmjam/jamfilm, tho I don't really have any thoughts on them themselves, haven't really engaged with any extra content, i juuuuust think they made good shows. 2. earthmix is probably the ship that I've ended up thinking about the most .. . the lore.....the lore ... !!! i simply cannot comment on this. 3. again i am transfixed by the LORE for OFFGUN....... they've prevailed they've traversed they've grown so much. hopefully they can continue working together for years to come. also you know what sneaky extra one. 4. forcebook. they just have a nice vibe!!! i like it when they hug after doing an emotional scene!!!!!!!!! i liked it when they yelled about their love for each other on top of that bungee jumping tower so sue me!!!!!!!

favorite color: green green green of the sludgy / earthy / olivey tones. I am getting big into earthy orange / terracotta as well.

currently consuming: turkish tea & halva

first ship: ok . how deep we gonna go. stuff I was reading in my early teens. martin / rose from the redwall books. (redwall was the first thing i Ever read fanfic for.) will / bran from the dark is rising. There's a surprising amount of fanfic for them! marcus / esca the eagle of the ninth. tbh several of those rosemary sutcliff books have these VERY intense masculine warrior bonds and it was uhh a Lot to process.

relationship status: n/a

last movie: leos carax, mauvais sang / the night is young

currently working on: wine qualifications!!!!!! honestly not that hard you just have to learn a bunch of stuff & also learn a particular framework to apply it. but also. like anything where you take an exam. you CAN mess up. & also applying for jobs that will work around this.

tagging the last 9 people in my notifs who didn't already get tagged in the last meme @waltermeadows @sirtomksy @luckshiptoshore @toranj @errantpixxi @heathyr @officialhagfish @annmariethrush @smashlampjaw

[captainelliecomb]

WIP Wishlist Round Nineteen

WIP Wishlist

I remain more away than around, but I had this almost done, and it’s a quick thing to wrap up.

There’s a theme this round: Recently Updated.

the road back home again by Roccolinde (22,636 words, first posted 24 Dec 22, last updated 21 Feb 23)

Summary: After eight years, Jaime Lannister is back to run the Castle Black Race: fourteen dogs, one thousand miles, and a woman who can't stand the sight of him after what he'd done all those years ago.

Things I Love: The details of the race, nature as a beautiful, terrible threat, all the hints of the friendships and connects from the past, the character voices.

The Wolf Cub and the Lion by HalfBloodDragon (11,158 words, first posted 31 Jan 23, last updated 20 Feb 23)

Summary: Atop a broken tower, Bran's tunic in Jaime's grasp, some mistakes are harder for Jaime to make the second time around. Westeros's newest champion wishes the gods had picked someone else to send back and re-live their life. Like... oh, anyone with a plan. Or someone who cares. Really, he's not picky.

Things I Love: Bran and Jaime’s friendship, all the things that change and all the things that stay the same, adorable Brienne, Jaime training Bran and Arya, Jaime and the Starklings, Brienne swearing to Robb, the looming threat of the Red Wedding.

Begin Again by PrettyThief (24,363 words, first posted 2 Jan 23, last updated 19 Feb 23)

Summary: The realm is on the brink of war, and Jaime Lannister is recently widowed following the death of Elia - his wife and the mother of their young son. Brienne of Tarth has a responsibility she would like to dodge. Jaime doesn't quite understand why she's chosen him as her escape, but he's not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Things I Love: Jaime and Brienne Road Trip, Joanna’s talk of duty and how her survival changes things, the sweet, lingering love between Jaime and Elia, Brienne young, and stubborn, and restless, Jaime’s determination to save Tommen.

Cruel World by keepinmind (14,228 words, first posted 4 Feb 23, last updated 3 Feb 23 (somehow))

Summary: Mostly canon until 8x03. What were to happen if Brienne were injured during the Long Night, and lost her memory along the way, all before either Jaime or Brienne were able to express their feelings toward one another? More importantly, who would take advantage, and drive them further apart?

Things I Love: Amnesia plots, complex, manipulative women, bisexual women, the promise of Daenerys/Brienne and Sansa/Brienne, Jaime’s worry over and care for Brienne, Podrick and Brienne. 

my hand was the one you reached for (throughout the Great War) by chrkrose  (2,687 words, first posted 4 Jan 23, last updated 9 Jan 23)

Things I Love: Jaime’s anger and frustration, Brienne in her sad, stubborn, glorious self, sweet Podrick, dealing with emotions post-LSH, Jaime’s jealousy, Podrick and Brienne, Hyle annoyed Jaime, Brienne and Oathkeeper. 

[jozor-johai]

Revisiting the Rat Cook, Part 2: Prince-and-Bacon Pie, and Pork Crackling

This is the second part of a series where I'm examining the symbols and themes present in the "Rat Cook" story, as relayed by Bran in ASOS Bran IV, and search reappearances of those elements throughout the rest of ASOIAF.

This is the first part, as well as the long version of my introduction.

"Revisiting the Rat Cook" is predicated on the understanding that GRRM's use of metadiegetic legends provide a "road map" of symbols and meaning, used in their abstract form, which we, as readers, can use to better understand the relationships between symbols, motifs, and themes as they reoccur throughout ASOAIF as a whole.

Among other things, the Rat Cook story is about a rat which eats rats, or a cook who serves kings; The Rat Cook story is about fathers and sons, about cannibalism, about trust, about vengeance, and about damning one's legacy.

This is likely going to be a 9-part series, but ideally almost all of these parts will be able to stand on their own. Each post will inform the next as I build my analysis, but hopefully each individual post is also interesting in its own right.

"Prince-and-Bacon Pie"

Last time, we talked about Wyman Manderly's wedding pies, and his favorite, lamprey pies.

In the original Rat Cook story, though, the Andal King is allegedly served a bacon pie. “Prince-and-bacon pie”, Bran calls it, and he repeats later that a “rasher of bacon” was cooked into the prince pie. The idea of pork served alongside human flesh is given repeat attention in regard to the pie, but it extends elsewhere into the story as well:

When the Rat Cook is punished, in turn, and becomes a cannibal rat eating his own kind, he is transformed into an insatiable rat “as huge as a sow”. Unusually large for a rat, but he is certainly no longer a man, although perhaps close enough, if you trust the moniker “long pork”.

This connection remains true for Lord Manderly’s Frey pies. When they are served in ADWD The Prince of Winterfell, they are introduced as being pork pies:

“…three great wedding pies, as wide across as wagon wheels, their flaky crusts stuffed to bursting with carrots, onions, turnips, parsnips, mushrooms, and chunks of seasoned pork swimming in a savory brown gravy.

Manderly’s pie is nearly identical to the one served by the Rat Cook, with carrots, onions, mushrooms, and, most importantly, down to pork as the main meat—which is to be expected, as Manderly has all but admitted to his influences.

In fact, though, the association of cannibalism, pork, and even pies comes as early as AGOT Jon IV, when the readers are introduced to the notion offhand while the Night’s Watch recruits mock Samwell Tarly:

“I saw him eat a pork pie," Toad said, smirking. "Do you think it was a brother?"

Three-Finger Hobb is certainly not serving Dickon to Samwell, but it contains all the same connections that the Rat Cook story relies on: between cannibalism and one’s own family, children baked into pork pies. The phrase “rasher of bacon” from the Rat Cook story appears in this same interaction about Sam, doubling down on the associations:

"You girls do as you please," Rast said, "but if Thorne sends me against Lady Piggy, I'm going to slice me off a rasher of bacon."

Again, this early instance of bullying, which might instead be framed as the brutal hierarchy of interpersonal domination—or we might say, brothers turning against brothers—is depicted using the same motifs as literal cannibalism. Is it Sam’s blood brother who is a pork pie, or is it Sam, called pork by the men who would become his black brothers? These are brothers turning against their own, and it is the imagined transformation of a man into a pig.

The recruits are joking here, but the comparison between slicing up a human and slicing up pork was brought up with a much darker tone only three chapters earlier, in AGOT Arya II:

Jeyne Poole had told Arya that he'd cut him up in so many pieces that they'd given him back to the butcher in a bag, and at first the poor man had thought it was a pig they'd slaughtered.

It’s dark irony for Micah, the butcher’s boy, to be returned to his father butchered like a pig. It also evokes our Rat Cook story again, with a dead son delivered to his father; like the Andal king, Micah’s father thinks—for a moment—that he’s being given pork. Also present again is the nature of transformation that this death creates: the prince becomes a pork pie, and the Rat Cook becomes as big as a “sow”, just as much as Micah becomes a slaughtered pig.

When the Night’s Watch arrives at Craster’s Keep in ACOK Jon III, Jon finds the similarity again, noting that a pig about to be slaughtered sounds eerily human:

Nearby, a small girl pulled carrots from a garden, naked in the rain, while two women tied a pig for slaughter. The animal's squeals were high and horrible, almost human in their distress.

Immediately later in the same chapter, Dolorous Edd makes a wry joke about cannibalism:

Best leave the wolf outside, he looks hungry enough to eat one of Craster's children. Well, truth be told, I'm hungry enough to eat one of Craster's children, so long as he was served hot.

Just like with the Night’s Watch recruits, this is a joke, but Edd’s line about eating one of Craster’s children transforms the earlier scene into a more chilling image: we were presented with the human-sounding tied pig appearing side-by-side in the same sentence with one of Craster’s small, naked children. With the addition of Edd’s words, both motifs appear alongside a story of eating children—just as in the Rat Cook story, where the Andal king eats his child-as-pork, and the Rat Cook-as-sow eats his own children as well.

Even more can be made of Edd’s jape, if we notice another minute detail: it’s also loaded that Edd uses “he” here to refer to Craster’s child… when Craster only keeps his daughters. Because Edd evokes sons here, Edd’s joke about eating a child calls special attention to the conspicuously missing sons from the scene. Might we expect, in the context of all this imagery, that these sons have been 'eaten' as well, even if not literally? We learn that these missing sons were sacrificed to the old gods later in the same chapter:

But the wildlings serve crueler gods than you or I. These boys are Craster's offerings. His prayers, if you will.

This is the clear meaning of the earlier association between the vulnerable child and the “almost human” pig, which is about to be slaughtered—or sacrificed—so that the keep could live, by way of eating it. It’s the same thing with Craster’s children, who are also, from his perspective, sacrificed so that his keep can live on, untroubled by the old gods.

Note here how all these motifs occur in tandem with each other: pigs as sacrifice to become food, eating children, sacrificed sons, deference (or lack thereof) to the old gods (and, importantly, their laws). The Rat Cook, in retribution, is forced to eat his children, for he forced the Andal King to do the same.

In both scenarios, the gods seemingly ‘demand’ that a father sacrifice his children; the fact that these are sons for Craster deepens the symbolic meaning, as it did with Walder Frey and the Freys in the last part: it is the death of one’s legacy by way of one’s lineage. Only sons bear the family name.

This is the paradox, the 'doom' that Craster, like the doomed characters in "The Rat Cook", is living out. From his perspective, he sacrifices his sons for the same reason he slaughters the pigs: to ensure his keep's survival. They need to eat, and they need to be untroubled by curses. But that sacrifice is Craster's curse, for even as he ensures his short-term survival, he damns his legacy. Craster may have children, but his keep has no future. Every one of his daughters, rather than become their own generation, perversely returns to reenact the role of their mother’s generation as Craster weds her; his keep, as its own patriarchal entity, is stagnant, and will die with him.

"Pork Crackling"

Regarding the equivalence of eating one’s family as an extension of eating one’s legacy, agency, or even one’s self, bear with me into an interesting digression about Victarion:

In ADWD The Iron Suitor, Victarion understands that his role as captain is both inextricably tied to his physical person, and yet is also an idea, separate from him as a mortal man. Referring to his rotting hand, he thinks to himself:

This was not something that his crew could see. They were half a world away from home, too far to let them see that their iron captain had begun to rust.

His mortality—the mortification of his injured hand—would ruin the effect of his role as captain, a higher status which the Ironborn consider to be a “king aboard his own ship”. Victarion may not be socially permitted to be so incapacitated while captain, but he also understands that if he keeps his captain identity separate from his mortal form—that is, if he can lie about the severity of his injury, keeping the state of his body hidden while playing the role of captain—he can maintain his identity as “the iron captain”.

The role of 'captain', and even more so, the arm that is required to be a warrior, is so intricately tied to Victarion’s warrior identity, and therefore to his sense of self, that Victarion refurses to allow the maester to cut off his arm to save the rest of his body. Again, his identity is greater than his mortality.

Yet, when Moqorro suddenly arrives, and Victarion is faced with an alternative, he is willing to sacrifice all else: to stray from the Drowned God towards R'hllor, to put his body into the hands of a “sorcerer” that he just met—all to pursue the ideal of his legacy as captain, divested from his person. And so Victarion, by beginning to sacrificing so much cultural baggage which he believed was part of himself, gets to keep his arm and his captainhood—and what does this arm look like?

Victarion offers this sickening description in ADWD Victarion I:

The arm the priest had healed was hideous to look upon, pork crackling from elbow to fingertips.

It’s a rare case where someone is able to look at their own body and make the gruesome comparison between their own flesh and pork as food, and this moment is Victarion’s reward. Like the Rat Cook who became a rat "huge as a sow", like Micah the butcher's boy who became a butchered pig, Victarion's arm—which was so much his legacy, his identity, that he would not let the maester remove it, so much a symbol of his personhood and his power that he would stray from the Drowned God to get it back—has become pork crackling.

- - -

Speaking of pork crackling, and returning to Craster's Keep...

When they burn the body of a fallen Night’s Watchman in ASOS Samwell II, Sam finds that it smells so much like pork that he is involuntarily hungry:

The worst thing was the smell, though. If it had been a foul unpleasant smell he might have stood it, but his burning brother smelled so much like roast pork that Sam's mouth began to water, and that was so horrible that as soon as the bird squawked "Ended" he ran behind the hall to throw up in the ditch.

Yet again, Dolorous Edd appears immediately afterward to bring the cannibalistic overtones to the forefront. Again, Edd makes the comparison between eating pork and eating human flesh, like in the Rat Cook story, and with eating one’s family, as with his own jape a book earlier, as with Rast mocking Sam in AGOT, as with the Freys eating their kin in ADWD. They may not be tied by blood, but Edd jokes about eating his brothers all the same:

"Never knew Bannen could smell so good." Edd's tone was as morose as ever. "I had half a mind to carve a slice off him. If we had some applesauce, I might have done it. Pork's always best with applesauce, I find." … "You best not die, Sam, or I fear I might succumb. There's bound to be more crackling on you than Bannen ever had, and I never could resist a bit of crackling.”

If Sam were to die, Edd suggests, he too would become pork crackling. I wonder if that says anything about Victarion's own fate... but I'm talking about Sam for now.

The even more important part of Sam’s experience here is Sam's knowledge that it is wrong, sickening, to eat human flesh—or, perhaps, to turn against his family, even his adopted family, as the two issues are conflated in these instances. Edd jokes about how delicious Bannen smells to make light of a dark, cruel truth: in these starving conditions, that might be true. Despite that suspicion, it is still firmly the wrong thing to do. Sam vomits even considering the thought.

When it comes to the Rat Cook story, though, that knowledge does not spare the Andal King any more than the Rat Cook; both, ultimately, are forced into the position of cannibalism, which makes it all the more tragic: to know the difference between right and wrong, but perhaps not to know which you are choosing. Did Victarion make the right choice turning his arm to pork to stay the "Iron Captain" he wanted to be? Did Craster make the right choice leaving his sons to die so that he could live untroubled? Do they even know?

As for the Andal King, he didn't even understand the choice in front of him; he was placed into that position by the Rat Cook—because of the violation of guest right, that significant law of the Old Gods.

Guest right is a social contract, the type that is necessary to maintain social stability. To keep interpersonal relationships, to build a community—or a kingdom—a person must be able to trust their neighbor. Practically, a guest must be able to trust that they will not be poisoned with food, in the same way that a host must be able to trust that their guest will not turn their cloak and slaughter them under their own roof. In other words, both parties must be able to trust that the social conditions of peace will be upheld.

The fact that this story of the Rat Cook concerns a power dynamic as well—between the lowly cook and the Andal King—expands the metaphor into one that describes feudalism as a whole… but I’ll expand that idea in the subsequent parts to come.

For now, consider this: that the Andal King, like Sam with Bannen’s delicious-smelling corpse, might have known the difference between right and wrong, but it may have made no difference as to what he actually did: he still ate his own son.

But what of the Andal King's own crime? Who started it? The Rat Cook broke the ancient social contract of trust called “guest right” to punish the King… but for the Rat Cook to be deserving of vengeance, the Andal King must have broken a social contract as well, perhaps a social contract regarding the position of power that a King has over a cook. The King must have broken that contract first, even before the story of "The Rat Cook" picks up.

But that will be further discussed in parts to come. Next part we’ll talk more about trust in particular, finally taking look at Coldhands attempting to feed Bran a “sow”, visiting Arya in the House of Black and White, and looking at Quentyn making a deal Meereen.

[nightsidewrestling]

D.U.D.E Bios: Meinir Rhydderch

The Fomorian Queen of C.R.C Meinir Rhydderch (2020)

Kirby's aunt, the sister-in-law of Hywel, and the wife of Bran, Meinir. A Christian Welsh woman now living on the opposite side of Wales and a hard-working, dedicated mother. Meinir is maternal, almost to a fault, protecting her family with her life.

"A mother is a mother until the day she dies."

Name

Full Legal Name: Meinir Rhiannon Rhydderch (Née Gallagher)

First Name: Meinir

Meaning: Means 'Tall and slender, Beautiful maiden' in Welsh.

Pronunciation: MEY-neer

Origin: Welsh

Middle Name: Rhiannon

Meaning: Probably derived from an unattested Celtic name 'Rīgantonā' meaning 'great queen'

Pronunciation: ree-AN-awn

Origin: Welsh, English, Welsh Mythology

Surname: Rhydderch (Née Gallagher)

Meaning: From the given name 'Rhydderch' from the Old Welsh name 'Riderch', derived from 'Ri' 'King' and 'Derch' 'Exalted' (Gallagher: Anglicized form of the Irish 'Ó Gallchobhair' meaning 'descendant of Gallchobhar'

Pronunciation: HRUDH-ehrkh (GAL-a-ger)

Origin: Welsh (Irish)

Alias: Fomorian Queen, Meinir Rhydderch

Reason: This is Meinir's ring name

Titles: Mrs, Ma'am

Characteristics

Age: 69

Gender: Female. She/Her pronouns

Race: Human

Nationality: Welsh

Ethnicity: White

Birth Date: August 31st, 1951

Symbols: Fomorians, Giants, Crowns

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Religion: Catholic

Native Language: Welsh

Spoken Languages: Welsh, Irish, English

Relationship Status: Married

Astrological Sign: Virgo

Theme Song: 'Respect' - Aretha Franklin (1970-)

Voice Actor: Catherine Zeta-Jones

Geographical Characteristics

Birthplace: Birchgrove, Swansea, Wales

Current Location: Llanfaethlu, Anglesey, Wales

Hometown: Llanfaethlu, Anglesey, Wales

Appearance

Height: 5'6" / 167 cm

Weight: 136 lbs / 61 kg

Eye Colour: Blue

Hair Colour: Black

Hair Dye: None

Body Hair: N/A

Facial Hair: N/A

Tattoos: (As of Jan 2020) 10

Piercings: Ear Lobe (both)

Scars: C-section scar

Health and Fitness

Allergies: None

Alcoholic, Smoker, Drug User: Smoker, Social Drinker

Illnesses/Disorders: None

Medications: None

Any Specific Diet: None

Relationships

Allies: (As of Jan 2020) The Rhydderch Clan

Enemies: (As of Jan 2020) None

Friends: Talulla Rhydderch, Grania Rhydderch, Odharnait Rhydderch, Deryn Rhydderch, Rhosyn Rhydderch, Aoife Rhydderch, Oda Rhydderch

Colleagues: The C.R.C Locker Rooms / Too Many To List

Rivals: None

Closest Confidant: Bran Rhydderch

Mentor: Eluned Gallagher

Significant Other: Bran Rhydderch (68, Husband)

Previous Partners: None of Note

Parents: Murray Gallagher (99, Father) Eluned Gallagher (R.I.P, Mother, Née MacCallion)

Parents-In-Law: Gearalt Rhydderch (R.I.P, Father-In-Law), Angharad Rhydderch (101, Mother-In-Law, Née MacMathan)

Siblings: Too Many To List (Check Bran's Profile)

Siblings-In-Law: Too Many to List

Nieces & Nephews: Too Many To List

Children: Mostyn Rhydderch (38, Son), Darach Rhydderch (35, Son), Branwen McCormick (32, Daughter, Née Rhydderch)

Children-In-Law: Genista Rhydderch (39, Mostyn's Wife, Née Lestrange), Gertrude Rhydderch (36, Darach's Wife, Née Lesauvage), Faron McCormick (33, Branwen's Husband)

Grandkids: Eadberht Rhydderch (18, Grandson), Dahlia Rhydderch (15, Granddaughter),Calla Rhydderch (12, Granddaughter), Bairrfhionn Rhydderch (9, Grandson), Abner Rhydderch (6, Grandson), Zoe Rhydderch (3, Granddaughter), Yvonne Rhydderch (15, Granddaughter), Xzavier Rhydderch (12, Grandson), Wallace Rhydderch (9, Grandson), Venetia Rhydderch (6, Granddaughter), Unnr Rhydderch (3, Granddaughter), Taliesin McCormick (12, Grandson), Samuel McCormick (9, Grandson), Rainbow McCormick (6, Granddaughter), Quintella McCormick (3, Grandaughter)

Great Grandkids: None

Wrestling

Billed From: Swansea, Wales

Trainer: The C.R.C Wrestling School, Gearalt Rhydderch

Managers: Bran Rhydderch

Wrestlers Managed: Bran Rhydderch

Debut: 1970

Debut Match: Meinir VS Talulla. Double Count Out

Retired: N/A

Retirement Match: N/A

Wrestling Style: Hardcore

Stables: The Rhydderch Clan (1970-)

Teams: No Team Names

Regular Moves: Backslide, Brainbuster, Elevated Powerbomb, Diving Headbutt, Double Underhook Piledriver, Enzuigiri, German Suplex, Lifing Double Underhook Facebuster, Saito Suplex, Sitout Double Underhook Powerbomb, Seated Chinlock, Snap Suplex

Finishers: Diving Splash, High-Angle Implant DDT, One-Handed Electric Chair Driver, Cradle Piledriver

Refers To Fans As: The Fans, The Family

Extras

Backstory: Meinir Rhydderch (Née Gallagher) of the C.R.C (Welsh Wrestling League / Cynghrair Reslo Cymru) owning Rhydderch family. Meinir married into the family, specifically marrying the 'Fomorian' Bran, becoming the 'Fomorian Queen'. She's Welsh with potentially Irish ancestry.

Trivia: Nothing of Note

[rosestars]

I too struggled to take care of my basic physical needs through my early 20s as a university student who also worked part-time and did additional extracurriculars. I was deep in anxiety and depression during that time, I was perpetually exhausted. I had no idea what it meant to actually care for my body. In therapy, we worked on my mindset a lot—but no one really asked me how much coffee I was drinking and whether I was eating enough food each day.

So I thought I'd dispense some big-sister type wisdom for folks who are struggling with this too. It's not intuitive and it can feel really overwhelming, especially when you're in a period of life where you're just learning so many new things in all areas of your life. I wish someone had told me some of these things a decade ago, so here are some strategies I've come to use over the years to support my body:

Prioritize sleep as if it's an obligation you have to a job or to another human. Getting 8+ hours of sleep has been the foundation for a lot of my personal mental health recovery and increase in overall inner peace. Not getting sleep really freaks out my body and nervous system. When I get enough sleep, I can think more clearly and have a way easier time making decisions, which helps with strategizing other self-care activities. Putting sleep first is not cool, especially when you are young and everything happens after 9 pm, but if you can, try to limit your late nights and always plan for recovery time after they happen.

If you work the night shift, make sure you really reduce the amount of light you are exposed to in the morning. Wear sunglasses or those crazy-looking orange or red-lensed glasses if you need to be outside between the end of your shift and getting into bed.

If sleep is a challenge, pay greater attention to general nervous system maintenence. Can you listen to relaxing binaural beats on public transit or a calming/funny podcast in the car? Reduce exposure to things that activate and scare you, which can include the news, true crime content, or anything that just freaks you out! If you're busy, you're activated enough.

On that note, be more mindful about how you consume caffeine. If you need a coffee right away in the morning, try to eat some protein first, like a couple scoops of low-sugar, high-fat yogourt, cottage cheese, a hard-boiled egg, a block of tofu or other plant-based protein thing. If at all possible, wait to have caffeine until after you eat a full meal. Stop drinking caffeine at least 8 hours before you plan to sleep, but for sensitive beings (like myself) 10-12 hours may be best.

Sugar is also a stimulant. You might feel pressure to eliminate sugar entirely as part of "eating healthy" but it's easy to make sugar a little gentler on the body through eating foods in a certain order. Sugar and carbohydrates (which metabolize into a sugar called glucose in the body) are a ready source of energy and when you're busy and you need joy, it's not feasible to avoid them. You can support your body by eating fibre before you have sugar and carbs. This can look like eating some greens before a plate of pasta or having a high-fibre cereal like All Bran Buds (inexpensive) before you go out for some sugary cocktails, for example. Fibre slows down digestion and reduces glucose spikes, which can help you feel more balanced, calm, and energized for a longer period of time.

Make getting greens into your diet as easy as possible. My tip here only works, unfortunately, if you have access to a freezer. I almost exclusively buy frozen vegetables. They are often cheaper and crisper-tasting than fresh produce and it's okay if I forget about them—which helps reduce my food waste and ultimately saves me money in the long run. They also take minutes to prep with zero chopping, and I hate chopping. Frozen broccoli goes in a microwave-save bowl with a couple tablespoons of water, covered with a plate, and steamed in the microwave for four minutes. Season with salt and butter, or kewpie mayo/sriracha mayo, curry powder, anything you like! Frozen spinach can be boiled, run under cold water when vibrant green, squeezed into a ball and topped with soy sauce and/or sesame oil for a very fast Japanese-style side salad.

Think of yourself as a literal child coming up to you and asking you to meet their basic needs. If a child came up to you and told you that they were hungry, would you send them away and say "I'm too busy to feed you." If a child was tired, would you prevent them from taking a nap? Some of us have had this very experience as a child, and so these moments are opportunities to literally re-parent ourselves. If you're working multiple jobs, trying to stay afloat in this hell-hole of capitalism, using whatever time you have left over to nourish yourself like you would your own kid, or a garden you're trying to grow, is critical.

Let go of the idea that busyness and overwork are noble and contribute to your worthiness. Needing rest, nutrition, and a sense of well-being is not shameful, it's not weakness, it certainly doesn't mean you should just work harder. Meeting our physical needs is one of the skills we get to hone as humans. We've devalued true self-care the same way we've devalued domestic labour. But these are the activities that make a life, the essential work of being alive, the tasks that are at its very core. As the poet Marie Howe says, it's what the living do. You will never outrun or transcend your human form, you must embrace it.

A disclaimer: I am not a nutritionist, therapist, or doctor. All these recommendations are completely anecdotal based on my personal experience! Always listen to your own body and refer to a professional if you're struggling beyond your capacity to care for yourself.

My early 20's was really me like "I WISH I had the time to eat healthy, sleep, and work out but I just have too many other important things in my life right now" meanwhile I was emotionally absent, disassociating from stress and lack of sleep and nutrition, and totally abandoning myself for an idealized version of me I thought I could become simply by force and willpower

Insane to reflect on like....if you don't take care of yourself you actually CANT show up for anything you love or want

Why doesn't anyone teach us that