#Boyfriend! B.I | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hannieween · 6 months ago

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spotlight | lights out series

In the aftermath of that night when everything changed, Joshua has to pick up the pieces of his own doing.

�� pairings: joshua hong x female reader x yoon jeonghan ✮ genre: angst, fluff, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, boyfriend joshua, theatre director jeonghan, best friend jeonghan ✮ word count: 16.9k

→ season one – navi post – read more

› smut warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: descriptions of food, food and alcohol consumption, smut with plot, joshua is toxic and kind of manipulative, multiple sex scenes, sub joshua, dom reader, oral sex (m), unprotected sex, body worshipping, creampies, morning sex, slight exhibitionism, a bit of cuddle fucking, cowgirl, bondage, sensory deprivation, overstimming, edging. pet names: bunny, baby, beautiful (hers) baby, baby boy, handsome (joshua's)

✮ author's note: this story takes up after the city lights series. i highly recommend you check that fic out before diving into this one if you haven't already... or you might be a little bit confused.

✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part i

You clawed at the bedsheets wrapping your body.

Sweat covered your neck as your fingers clenched around the soft fabric of the creamy white bed sheets you were writhing under. You sank the side of your face on the pillow below you, muffling out a short moan.

The side of your body was comfortably lying on your mattress, softly creaking as Joshua moved behind you under the bed sheets, keeping a steady pace on the push and pull he had commenced not two minutes ago.

Your boyfriend was breathing hard on the crook of your neck, moaning softly every time he pushed inside your walls, the front of his body cuddling your back, keeping one of his large hands flat on your tummy to keep you in place for him to fuck you slowly.

One of the things Joshua discovered about himself is that he loved morning sex. In his past relationships, he didn't think too much about it. Granted, he was never big on vanilla sex.

But something about waking up next to you, wholly naked under the bed sheets, your face being the first thing he sees, your soft humming the first thing he hears.

The first few times he woke up next to you as soon as he moved into your apartment, right after he finished touring and recording an album, you were the first one to wake up. And those times you usually left the bed before he woke up, only for him to catch up with you making breakfast.

But now that he had grown familiar with your routine and you with his, he was the one who was waking up before you did.

And Joshua Hong swore he could fall in love twice over.

Somehow he learned to wake up silently, so he wouldn't wake you up in the process, knowing how much of a light-sleeper you were.

Sometimes he would just lie there with his eyes closed, either cuddling you or just lying by your side.

Something would brighten up inside him every time you would unconsciously search for him, either turning over the bedsheets to cuddle him up, lacing your leg with his. Or whenever you were already snuggling him, you would just bump the tip of your nose against him.

It was as if, in your dreams, you would reach out to him, to make him hold you as if you were in your own world, resting peacefully.

But this morning he was just so bundled up in your warmth and in your love that he just couldn't resist himself.

Joshua had to wake you up with kisses on your shoulder to let you know of his intentions, and to his surprise, you immediately caught on, arching your back for him to have easy access to your warm walls.

So there he was, madly in love, drunk on you, pushing your body as he breathed hard on the curve of your neck, getting glimpses of you holding onto the bed sheets every time he blinked dazedly.

"Baby," Joshua half moaned, half sighed as he closed his eyes. "I love you."

The sound those words elicited from you, made him smile, turning his head to litter kisses on your cheek, and down your neck.

"I love you, Josh," you replied, sounding as if trapped in a trance, so dreamy, breathily moaning out his name.

"Yeah?" he sighed. "Are you gonna come with me?" he asked, hearing your increasingly louder moans.

"No, no, not yet," you replied, your fist leaving a bundle of sheets, diving under the bed sheets to meet his hip, holding onto him. "Please, it feels so good.."

"Okay, okay," he whispered hurriedly. "Fuck," he gasped softly, slipping out of your sopping walls by pulling his hips backward.

"Joshua!" you gasped, turning your head to see him, squeezing his eyelids shut in focus.

"Sorry baby," he sighed with a smile, opening one eye first to see your obfuscated face.

"It's okay," you smiled sweetly when you understood that he was close to his climax.

"Turn over for me," he rasped, nodding his head to the pillows.

Joshua experienced something unusual to him, like a lightning bolt piercing his chest when you smiled at him giddily before turning face down on the pillows, knowing what he wanted to do.

The love he felt for you was so intense it could literally cause him pain.

But he got to his knees on the bed, not letting you wait for him any longer, he moved on top of you, each of his knees at the sides of your hips as you instinctively lifted your ass up for him, uncovering your wet pussy for him.

Joshua smiled when something in his mind reminisced on the days you were getting a feel of each other, just two total strangers giving themselves into carnal desire.

And now, he couldn't imagine a life without you.

He brought down a hand on one of your buttcheeks, not hard, but just about enough to get a squeal out of you, followed by a sweet laugh from your part that sent a blissful shudder through his body.

You looked over your shoulder, propping your weight on your elbows to watch him with an excited glint in your eyes. Without more pause, he just grabbed his wet cock, driving it inside you in one go.

It was nearly electric, the feeling of being inside your engulfing warmth, the fluttering, the wetness, you, you, you.

You dropped your face flush into the pillows to muffle a raw cry of pleasure. This position made it so that his cock teased a particular sweet spot in your walls that instantly had you wailing like a mad woman.

"Joshua..." you sighed against the pillows.

His head lolled back slightly, giving himself into the blissful pleasure and desperation to feel you whole, to make you feel good, to hear your voice call out his name in raw cries.

So he just started moving his hips back and forth, pumping his cock inside your warm walls, moaning at just how wet you were.

"Joshua, Joshua..." you continued as he fucked you deeper, the back and forth of his hips made the bed frame creak and budge against the wall of the bedroom, quite evidently telling the new neighbors that it was another one of those mornings.

"I know, baby," he sighed back, grabbing you by the hips to keep your ass up and cunt angled for him, watching his front hit your plump cheeks, the recoil, the dents his fingers were creating as his hands held you steady for him to fuck.

"Oh, god," you rasped loudly against the pillow, your hands balling into fists on the pillowcase. "Oh god, Joshua..."

"Are you close, bunny?" he called in a gasp, groaning in frustration as you shook your head on the pillow.

"Harder," you sighed, lifting your head to cast a look over your shoulder, your eyebrows knitting in a plea as you added. "Please, fuck me harder, Josh."

"We'll get another noise complaint," he grinned, reading the dilemma that set in your furrowed brow.

Joshua couldn't care less about the new neighbors. As soon as they moved in two weeks ago, he knew they would be a problem. When you were notified about the noise complaint, Joshua just knew it was them.

"Hmn?" he changed the pace of the back and forth of his hips on you, fucking you with shallow thrusts. It was not as deep as you preferred, but still good.

You groaned in frustration and buried your face on the pillow again.

"Baby, give me an answer," he laughed heartily. He knew he could continue fucking you slowly just to tease you.

But he was also aching to come.

"Do it," you breathed, nodding with your head before casting another look. "Please, baby, I'm gonna be quick, just, please, I want it harder..."

Joshua smiled at your resolve before commencing to plow on you, retreating his hips and thrusting forward with a hard and fast pace, his front slapping against your ass, causing the recoil to be more prominent, making him moan at the sight.

But your moans, oh, they were the cause for the noise complaints, he was sure. It wasn't the bed frame hammering against the wall, or the loud creaking of the mattress, or even his own moans.

You were wailing now, crying out his name in bliss and pleasure pleading him to never stop, to keep going, to go harder.

And he was just too complacent to not let you have what you want.

"I'm coming, Josh, c-coming!" you cried out, gripping the pillowcase, turning your head so he could see your pretty cum face of your eyebrows knitting, your mouth falling open.

"Fuck," he sighed, his fingers digging into your skin to focus in not changing his pace for his own pleasure, he kept plowing on you as you came undone on his cock, your whiny moans flooding the room paired with the banging on the wall from the other side.

"Josh..." you sighed as you slumped down on the pillow.

"I'm there, oh fuck, baby..." he moaned, ignoring the urgent thumping on the wall. He threw back his head, a long, moany exhale coming out of him as he spilled himself inside you finally, his hands grabbing your hips to fuck you into him languidly until he spilled the last drop of his cum in you.

You were breathing out sweet moans as he stopped thrusting in and out of you slowly and sloppily, hearing the banging on the wall with a sly grin on his face, being accentuated when you groan in utter embarrassment against the pillow.

Joshua sighed in complete joy and adoration when you sneaked a look over your arm, laughing in excitement and shame, partly enjoying the loud exhibition of your love at very early hours in the morning.

"Good morning, baby," he sighed, a small groan spilling along.

"Morning, Josh," you replied cutely.

"Hungry?" he breathed with a lazy grin on his face.

"Umn, yeah," you replied aloofly, sinking into your pillow again to enjoy the gentle aftershocks of your orgasm.

He also needed a minute to catch his breath and for his brain to come down to reality and gather up that the neighbors might take an issue with them again.

But he couldn't care less.

You, on the other hand, were mortified.

"Should we... go talk to them?" you asked with a tiny voice, lying motionless below his body.

"And tell them what?" Joshua sighed a smile, running his hands from your lower back upwards, caressing your skin lovingly.

"That we're sorry!" you gasped, but there was a small giggle that quivered in your tone.

"Sorry about what?!" Joshua protested with a faux scandalized tone. "Sorry that we have a good sex life and they don't?"

"Maybe not that, but, sorry that we're loud might work," you retorted.

"I wasn't loud, you were," Joshua teased.

"Josh!" you sent him a glare. "We both were."

"Fine, fine," Joshua conceded with a breathy chuckle. "I could get soundproof padding for the walls and something for the bed frame so it doesn't bang on the wall," he offered, taking your worry seriously.

"Isn't that going overboard?" you inquired with honest curiosity.

"Yes... but also no," he pondered. "I think it would work, and stop the complaints."

"Mmff," you sighed and turned your face flush against the pillows again.

"Come on, baby," he muttered as he pulled his hips back, thus slipping out of your wet walls.

"Just give me a minute," you mumbled on the pillows.

"I'll be waiting for you in the shower," he slapped your ass teasingly one more time and laughed when your squeal was muffled in the pillow.

Joshua had no issue settling in your apartment. When he got back from touring and from all of the appointments he had outstate, you had already made space for him. And he had spent so many nights there that it already felt like home.

But he was convinced that the homely feeling came from your company.

He was just stepping below the shower head when he felt your arms wrapping around his waist, hugging him from behind. You pressed your cheek on his back.

"Hi baby," he sighed, not caring that it was about two minutes ago that he had said just that.

"Is it my turn to make breakfast?" you muttered, pressing small kisses on his back, between his shoulder blades before reaching out with one arm to get the bottle of shampoo.

"Would you like to get breakfast somewhere?" he asked you as he finished rinsing out the shampoo from his golden brown hair. "We could go to that place you like with the banana pancakes..."

"I mean you gotta let me make breakfast one day," you giggled sweetly as you busied your hands on your hair, your fingers massaging shampoo into your scalp made Joshua turn and pay attention to you.

He had been doing that lately. He paid attention to things you do for yourself, no matter how simple or how meaningful they were. He knew that you had changed the color of the polish in your nails, you trimmed your hair and added some new touches here and there.

But also, you also have gotten into some new habits. Such as trying to fix your sleep, you go to the gym more frequently, not as an on and off thing anymore, you go out with your friends more, and the biggest thing he has noticed, is that you did all of this to hide the sadness you actually felt.

It had been weeks since you last talked with Jeonghan. An event that you weren't to talk about with Joshua yet, but he could see that whatever happened, left you pretty bad.

Joshua knew already that he needed to give you time. And he promised you he would be patient if that was what you needed. He didn't need to know what had happened that time you talked, in truth, he ached to hold you, to make you happy again by whatever means necessary.

"We could also go to the book shop afterwards," Joshua offered with a hollow tone, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible but he knew that you were avoiding going out today.

"Okay, that's how I know you're up to something, Mr. Hong," you smiled as you tilted your head to raise your hair.

"I just want to pamper you, Ms. Hong," he joked, but his tone dropped as he uttered those last two words. "Take you on as many dates as possible."

"Mmn, then you got a date, mister," you replied with a playful grin, sliding your arms on his shoulders and locking your wrists behind his neck. "But you gotta let me make breakfast someday, you know. I'm not a bad cook."

Joshua chuckled, but your lips muffled his laugh as he tried to get back at you. "I know, baby. Just let me take you out today."

"Maybe you're just getting away with doing the dishes," you said with a lower and velvety tone.

He was struck with so much adoration for you when he noticed that you were flirting with him. The corners of your eyes were smiling, and the glint in your eye told him that you were feeling the same too.

"You got me," he whispered, dipping his head to meet your lips.

"Mmn, you little deviant," you muttered sultrily, smiling in his lips.

He felt a hand cup his chin as your tongue touched his lower lip. "Look who's talking," he replied when your other hand roamed all over his body, feeling his lean chest first, sliding down to feel the toned muscle of his abdomen.

"I learned from the best," you replied, circling your hands to his back.

Joshua laughed breathily into your mouth.

You clapped your hands giddily as the plate was set in front of you. There sat a fluffy banana pancake, decorated with berries and honey.

Joshua sat just across your seat on the small round table, he was pretending to type something but in reality he was snapping a photo of you looking at your meal.

The first bite made you sway your body in tiny motions, like a little dance with your fists bundled up at your sides as you chewed on your food merrily.

And he watched you in complete delight. Setting his phone down on the table to take a bite from his own plate. "Good?" he muttered as you took another generous bite with near maddening joy.

Food made you happy, in the month he had been living with you he had learned more and more about your favorite foods and general eating habits. So he knew that sugary breakfasts were accompanied with coffee.

You set your mug and licked your lips. "Amazing," you sighed, resuming to eat more banana pancakes.

"Mm," he nodded with a small pleased smile on his face. "Oh, my mom asked about you," he suddenly remembered.

You almost choked on your mouthful. "Huh?!" you uttered as your round cheeks from the food gave you a comical expression. "W-what? Why? When?"

"I think it was... yesterday actually," he mentioned, thoroughly enjoying your reaction. "I told her we could meet one day for dinner or lunch soon."

You swallowed your bite with a bewildered look in your eyes. "Oh, of course why not," you nodded. "I could cook something, I can make a mean lasagna."

A twist in his stomach in pure fondness made him pause when you took on a proud look for yourself. "Oh yeah?" he teased: "Why haven't I tried your lasagna?"

"Because," you elongated the word. "You, mister, keep me out of the kitchen nearly everyday. You don't let me cook for you."

"That's not true," he retorted with a smirk. "It's not everyday."

"I'm not complaining though," you muttered as you pointed at him with your fork.

"I know you aren't," he chuckled.

"Mmm," you hummed as you took another sip of coffee. "Tell mom she's invited to dinner at our place next friday."

"Will do," he smiled, from both your assertiveness and the cuteness you exhibited suddenly.

"Thanks for breakfast, Josh," you muttered, linking your arm with his, your hand grabbing on his bicep comfortably as you both walked on the sidewalk.

"Don't mention it, beautiful," he smiled at you.

Your eyes were marveling at the sight of the cherry blossoms flanking the street you both walked. The grip of your hand on his bicep shifted and tightened, directing a smile at him as you teased him a bit, using the bulge of his arm as a stress ball.

"You're bulkier," you grinned.

"You've mentioned it," he replied in kind.

"I like it," you said and tilted your head to the side so your temple touched his shoulder briefly.

"All for you, baby."

The giggle that spilled from you echoed in his mind. Joshua slipped into what he felt was something that felt like a daze as you aloofly started to hum a tune that you were improvising on the spot. You did that, he noticed, you hummed a beautiful tune happily for two or three seconds and started it again.

Joshua grabbed your hand from his bicep and laced his fingers with yours to then kiss your knuckles one by one, slowly as you both walked down the street.

The sunlight slipped through the branches of the cherry blossom trees, shining in against your beautiful hair, making your cheeks grow hot and when you looked back at him, you smiled, noticing that he was lost in thought.

"Do you want to make a stop at the book shop?" he nodded his head to the small bookshop on the corner of the street.

You pondered for a second, but Joshua knew what your answer would be from the way you were pouting cutely.

"Maybe an hour," you decided.

Joshua pushed the door open for you. "That's what you said last time."

"But last time they had new titles," you countered and giggled shamefully. "Okay, maybe two hours."

"Take as long as you need, baby," he muttered, letting go of your grasp as you were swiftly taken away by the new shiny covers on display.

Joshua gravitated towards you in the maze of shelves, acting as if he were just as interested in the books surrounding you. But he was more raptured by you, by the wonder in your eyes as you picked up book by book to read the covers, to open them up carefully and peer inside.

He just stuck around you, picking up books to just settle them back to their place without even so much as reading one word. You skirted around the shelves, while he just wavered in the distance.

That was until his eyes caught sight of your pen name on a book. Rows of a glossy cover under a sign that said best seller sat the book that was partly responsible for him being there.

Almost as if the book had a magnetic pull on him, he brought one copy from the shelf. Joshua only recognized the book by the title and obviously your pen name, but he realized that he hadn't really paid attention to the work on the illustrated cover.

He remembers seeing it at some point, but almost beat himself up for not paying more attention to it. The cover was pretty, totally eye-catching, but he knew the contents were much, much more impressive.

Joshua read the final manuscript, he also had to read all of your annotations. But it was the first time in a month after the release that he actually held a copy of your book.

He felt dumb for a second. How didn't he get a copy before?

You were submerged in a different book, rows of shelves and far away from him, swaying your body gently to the soft music playing on the speakers overhead.

The first page of your book started with a dedication. Joshua first saw his name written in it, and his stomach dropped.

To Joshua, my favorite plot twist, my endless inspiration. I love you.

Cursing to himself, he slowly closed his eyes. There was no excuse for missing something like this. Not work, not whatever it was that bothered him. This was important to you, your greatest achievement so far, and you dedicated it to him.

And he is just finding it out. A month later.

He thought of something to say to you, an apology, anything.

But at that moment, his phone buzzed in the pocket of his jacket. Pulling it out he saw flashes of a series of notifications from his new management team.

With a resigned sigh, he opened the messages to read that Midnight Haze had secured a bunch of dates for upcoming concerts the weekend after their first self titled album release.

It was huge for him, but it was instantly overshadowed by the thought of leaving you behind again for several weeks at a time. He had been enjoying his quiet life with you so far, and it amazed him how much it bothered him that his career success was not as important to him anymore.

The problem was not that he would leave you alone. Joshua still had trouble with the thought of you hiding away in your study for weeks, being lonely while he goes away and lives the life of a rockstar.

But what bothered him the most was that he was about to leave you when you were going through something that he knew was taking away your sleep, something that had broken your heart.

Joshua knew that Jeonghan had stopped talking to you some weeks ago. After the night of the threesome, and he very evidently showed how he felt about you, you tried to reach him, to talk about it. But he just said he needed time.

Time went by, and you got sadder. Sometimes he heard you in the middle of the night, crying alone. He would ask you about it but you just said you were alright, you said you also needed time. So Joshua gave you that.

But Joshua could not shake the feeling that he was responsible for it all. Deep down he knew that this mess was caused by everyone involved. Still, he was the one that suggested Jeonghan to get closer to you, to be friends. He was the one that left you for weeks and eventually stopped talking as frequently.

What will happen now when he leaves? He knew he would only carry that guilt with him.

Sometimes he missed when he was just a singer in an independent band that had some shows at local bars every now and then. If that were still the case, he would not have to leave you behind.

"Would you like an autograph, sir?" your cute voice snapped him out of his mental turmoil.

Lifting his head up, he found you standing in front of him, unbeknownst to the messages showing on his phone screen sitting on the palm of his hand. You were looking at the copy of your book in his other hand.

"Allow me to buy the copy first, miss," he replied.

"Oh, no don't do that," you muttered, immediately dropping your act. "I was just joking, you don't have to buy it."

"Why don't you like to have copies of your books at home?" he inquired with genuine curiosity.

You shrugged slowly, fingers tracing shapeless doodles over the spine of a book you picked up. "I like to keep my space separate from my work," you smiled shamefully, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "I know it's silly, but I like to pretend that the writer and I are different people."

Joshua tilted his head to one side. "That is a bit more confusing," he chuckled softly.

"Well, that's because you're famous, you like the public acclamation, the fame," you disputed, snatching the book from his hand and placing it back to where he initially found it. "And I don't."

"I'm not famous," he immediately battled, with a shy smile painting his ears red. "And I don't like fame either."

"Yeah right," you quipped with a grin. "I'd beg to differ."

He stretched an arm and grabbed the copy of your book again. "I'm taking this if you don't mind," he said with a faux serious expression. "And I'm getting that autograph."

"What, no, Josh," you pronounced his name with a giggle. "Don't buy it, we have the manuscript at home."

"You can't sign the manuscript," he rolled his eyes and laughed when you tried to grab the book from him but he just kept it in the air and out of your reach.

"What do you want a signed copy for?" you sent him a glare that only made him laugh harder.

"This one has a pretty cover," he shrugged and turned away from you and started walking to the counter to pay.

"Josh!" you gasped and fell into step behind him.

"I expect my autograph," he said, pulling out his phone to pay.

The cashier sent you a look and then to Joshua, who just dismissively smiled, his nose wrinkling a bit in the process. He could see from the corner of his eye how you just sighed in resignation.

"Bunny," Joshua said as he followed you out of the book shop.

"Yes?" you lifted your eyes to lock with his.

"I... thank you for the book dedication," he muttered, grabbing your hand to lace your fingers with his. "I really appreciate it, baby."

"You don't have to thank me for that, Josh," you giggled sweetly. "That's me literally saying thanks for being there, for helping me."

Joshua paid attention to the way you emphasized that word, paired with the shy smile on your face as your gaze dropped to the ground. What you meant by helping, though, was having sex.

"Do you need help with book two?" he grinned.

"Oh my god, Josh," you muttered, teary eyed in embarrassment.

"I can totally help," he teased some more. "Everyday, if you let me. Anything you want to try baby, I'm game."

"You are helping, Josh," you turned to look over your shoulder and deciding no one was listening to your conversation you added: "You are a very diligent source of inspiration."

"You think, baby?" he pressed, holding the door to the building open for you.

You nodded eagerly in affirmation to his question.

"I take my job seriously," he quipped with a laugh. "Anything to help."

After the day-long date, you came back home feeling exhausted, but ready to get some hours of work before heading to bed. Committed was the relationship you had to your writing, a thing you tried to do at least an hour a day.

So Joshua decided to spend the remainder of the day sitting in the living room area. Guitar sitting in his lap, phone ready to record, he tried to emulate the tune he heard you hum, the tune he replayed the whole evening in his head.

Before he knew it, he had recorded a good chunk of melody. He replayed it once, deciding it was good material he sent it right over to Jihoon, presenting it as something they can work on for a ballad.

Content with his day's productivity, he decided to call it a day, being that it was already nightfall and he felt rightfully sleepy.

So he made his way to the place he knew he would find you, happily buried in work. Pushing the door open he found you working on your desk, eyes glued to one of your monitors, typing fast on the keyboard.

He saw that you were wearing your headphones so he went unnoticed completely. Suppressing a small smile, he walked closer to you, being careful as to not startle you as he had done several times in the past.

"Baby," he whispered as he placed his hands on your shoulders, leaning down to press a kiss on your cheek once you slid a hand on top of his.

"Mmn?" you removed your headphones. "What's that?"

"I'm heading to bed," he whispered before pressing another kiss on your cheek. "Wait for you there?"

"Yeah, sure," you turned your head to plant a kiss on his lips. "I'll be there in five."

"If you take longer, I'll come for you," he said, eliciting a chuckle from you.

"That sounds fun," you whispered, pressing your lips against his smirk.

He kissed you one more time before backing away from you and getting ready for bed. His routine was short, consisting of rinsing his face, brushing his teeth and undressing himself.

When he was already lying in the bed, he heard you come in exactly five minutes later, which made Joshua turn his head to look at you curiously.

Noticing that he was still awake and with his gaze trained on you, you began to undress, reaching out for your sleeping clothes in the drawer. You had taken to using one of his t-shirts, which was a few sizes too big for you.

Turning off the bedside lamp, you climbed up the high bed, crawling to the space you had assigned for yourself, but as you slipped beneath the sheets, you immediately attached to his side.

Joshua chuckled softly, wrapping one arm around you as you snuggled to him, fitting your face on the curve of his neck.

"You didn't take long," he pointed, thinking of the times you worked past midnight.

"I'll continue tomorrow," you sighed a yawn. "I want to cuddle with you, is that okay?"

"Of course, baby," he whispered, bringing his other arm to hug you snuggly. "Always."

"Thank you for today, Josh," you muttered sweetly, your hand had started to rub shapeless figures on his chest. "I enjoyed every moment of it."

"You don't have to thank me, bunny," he replied sleepily. "I want to give you more days like this. For the rest of your life if you let me."

That made you giggle in joy. "Be ready to hear me thank you every single day, then."

"Why?"

"Because you make me happy," you muttered, your voice had turned into a tiny coo.

"You make me happy too, baby," he turned his head on the pillow to look at you. "That's the point, right?"

"Mmn, yeah but I want to say thanks anyway," you laughed, realizing how stupid the argument was.

But Joshua smiled, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "I love you," he muttered, caressing your arm with his hand. "I just want to make you happy."

"I love you too," you whispered, sighing a hum. "Let's make each other happy, then."

Joshua was unsure as to how he fell asleep, or how long after he drifted into a peaceful dream. He woke up to distant noises of water boiling, a sizzling sound and then the clinking of metal against ceramic glass.

The bed was cold on your side, when he outstretched his arm he found it empty. Instantly, he knew it was one of those restless nights. Even if you were trying to fix your sleeping habits, you still suffered some insomniac nights.

He waited for some minutes, and then got out of bed, fishing out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt that he had discarded earlier and left on top of the armchair in the room and put them on.

You were sitting on the couch by the window. He noticed that you had drawn the blinds to get the lighting from the restless city outside.

You didn't notice him right away, so he also could tell that you were crying as your teary eyes panned to the hall and found him.

His heart dropped. "You're okay, bunny?" he asked wearily.

Sitting down on the couch beside you, he kept some distance from you, giving you space in case that was you needed.

"Yeah, I'm okay," you smiled, pressing your lips together.

He nodded slowly, averting his gaze to his lap. "Do you want to talk about it?" he offered, holding in his breath.

This would probably be the time, he thought. He wished you would finally air out your troubles with him. It was the third time he had woken up to your cries, he silently counted. And he suspected that you were hiding from him to let your feelings out, suspected you weren't sharing your feelings with him to avoid more conflict.

"I'm just thinking, Josh," you said with a dismissive tone. "Everything's okay."

You took three big gulps from the tea that you drink to help you sleep. Grimacing at the taste you put it back to the coffee table and shifted on the couch closer to Joshua until your bodies touched.

"What do you think about?" he asked gently, the weariness coating his tone was still there.

A long sigh made your chest rise and fall, more tears kept rolling down your cheeks and you shook your head, signaling your reluctance to talk about it.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No, I..." you choked on your words and before he could move, you took his hand. "I'm just being a bit emotional. That's it."

"You can trust me," he whispered, raising his eyes to find your grief stricken face.

"I know," you replied in kind. "I know, Josh."

You picked up your tears with the pad of your thumb, sniffing quietly as you seemed to calm yourself down. But you wouldn't make eye contact with him, your hand held his tightly, but it seemed that you weren't opening up just yet.

"Baby..." he whispered, following your eyes. "I want you to talk to me. I'm waiting for you night and day to open up but you just won't. Do you think that I don't know what you've been going through?"

Your eyebrows pinched together in confusion but they quickly went lax, coming to a realization that he knew. All along he silently bore witness to your pain and your mourning to your friendship with Jeonghan.

"I've heard you cry before too," he confessed, a painful jab making him shudder. "I know you told me to give you space but you don't have to. I think that you will feel better when you talk to Jeonghan and whatever you decide to do... I'm ready."

"What are you saying?" you croaked, sniffing loudly and bringing up a hand to wipe your tears.

"I'm... saying that if you–," a strangled sound interrupted him, and he had to pause to gather his thoughts, drawing a big gulp of air as he sighed the next words: "Whatever you need to do when you talk to him, I'm ready... to take it."

"What?!" you gasped with a bewilderment that almost made you stop your tears. "You're not taking anything, Joshua. Who do you think I am?"

"I'm just saying, whatever you feel like you have to do, I'll understand…. I just want you to be happy again," his eyes inevitably rolling upward, trying to resist the angry tears stinging his eyes.

"Have you lost your mind, Joshua?" you asked, watching him nearly vibrate in what you assume was a very undesirable remorse.

"I think so, yes," he said slowly, now looking at you. "It kills me to wake up and hear you crying in the middle of the night. I hate that you pretend to be alright instead of trusting me with what's hurting you."

"What hurts me hurts you," you said in a weak tone, crossing your arms over your chest in what he recognized as a mechanism to hold yourself together.

"Is that why you won't open up to me? Because you don't want to hurt me?"

You slowly nodded with your head, biting your lip to make it stop quivering, though it was futile.

"I just want you to trust me," Joshua whispered, and your eyes widened when his tone faltered. "It's the only thing I care about."

"Joshua, I..." you started, but you were at a loss of words.

"We can't keep doing this to each other," he whispered, shuddering under the stress of finally being vulnerable with you. "I want to help you but you need to let me in."

"I don't want this to affect us," you replied with an air of surrender, it was quite evident that it was too late for that.

At that, he knew he had nothing to say. He had caused all this, no matter how much he wanted you to open up, he was being a hypocrite. His attempt to make you trust him with this fell completely disingenuous since he was also keeping things from you.

He shifted on his seat, opening his arms to you. "Come here," he whispered and you promptly crawled wight into his embrace, crying freely on his shoulder. "I just don't want you to go through this on your own, baby," he said shakily, swallowing his own guilt-ridden tears. "But if it's what you want I get it. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," you replied in a tiny voice.

"No, don't be," he muttered. "I know this is hard for you... this is hard for me too, but it shouldn't have to be, baby. We are together to lift each other up, aren't we? No matter what tries to bring us down."

Joshua could feel your fingers clinging onto his shoulders, your face pressed flush against his chest as you sobbed and cried hard, harder than he had heard you ever.

"All I'm trying to say is... trust that I won't walk away from you. Not because of this, not ever," Joshua gulped, a hand finding the back of your head to hug you tightly. "I love you and I trust you."

"I love you too... and I trust you, Joshua," you replied with a hoarse tone from crying. "But, how can I tell you about this? I don't know how I would feel the roles were reversed. If you told me you felt something for someone else... I don't know how I'd react."

Joshua had been over this scenario on his head multiple times. "It's different," he said with an air of decisiveness. "I don't think this is as straightforward, baby."

You felt him press his lips on the crown of your head for a long minute.

"But more importantly... you can tell me anything, baby," he muttered, closing his eyes slowly as he sighed. "Even if it's about Jeonghan."

There was a pause, between him waiting for your answer patiently and you gathering your thoughts. This was definitely not something you had expected from your boyfriend. Granted, he had been extremely reasonable about your feelings for Jeonghan.

"I just want him to know that I'm sorry," you sobbed quietly, holding onto his shirt.

Joshua felt the small wet patches on his chest from your tears, he held you tighter against his body, when the painful jab of remorse returned.

"Have you tried talking to him?" he pried with a fear pulsing in his throat.

"Last time I tried he told me he's not ready," you replied and your tone weakened. "He stopped replying to my texts two weeks ago."

His arms wrapped your body tighter. "I'm sorry, bunny," he replied with honesty.

But a part of him burned with rage. He wasn't in the least bit pleased that Jeonghan had feelings for you, but on top of that he hated that he was making you suffer. Joshua understood that Jeonghan needed time to think, since this was a very complicated situation they were all embroidered in.

Still, he hated to see you cry.

"Maybe I can talk to him," he offered softly, resting his cheek on the crown of your head, his arms still cradling your body.

In all this time, Jeonghan and Joshua had not spoken, nor crossed paths. The reason why in reality was that Joshua had nothing to say. And if he thought of something to say, he wouldn't mean it.

In part, he felt betrayed by his best friend. Even if all of this was partly his doing, he started all of this. But still, there was a nagging feeling in him that no matter what he did, he couldn't shake it off.

"Maybe I can call him, ask him to hear you out. Would you like that baby?" he asked, now moving his head to see your face.

You mumbled something that resembled an affirmation. But you had already drifted into a slumber, losing the fight against the powerful sleeping tea that you didn't even finish drinking.

He certainly didn't take that to be an actual affirmation on your part. But he thought he might as well try. Because he had to at least try to fix something from this mess.

Joshua held you until he was certain you were completely asleep. Subconsciously, he started humming that song again as he memorized again the features of your face with the pads of his fingers, grazing your skin ever so gently that you never felt a thing.

He loved you. He ached at the thought of losing you all for his stupidity, for his blind jealousy.

Slowly, he leaned so he could rest his forehead on the crown of your head. I'm sorry, he pleaded silently, I love you.

Cradling you in his arms, he stood up from the couch, carrying you straight to bed where the covers were already drawn so he just easily laid you down, tucking you in.

He asked himself if he was even worthy of being your lover. Holding you like this, sleeping next to you after a day of showing you how much he loved you, he wondered if his love would amount to something enough for you. Mistakes and all.

The Spot was as busy as any thursday.

It had been a while since Joshua's last visit. He had some memories of being wasted, to the point that he fell asleep on the barstool he was sitting at, his head propped in the lacquered red bartop.

It seemed funny to him that Jeonghan was sitting in the same place now.

His fingers were toying with the neck of the empty bottle of beer, his head leaned forwards, eyes out of focus.

Joshua silently sat beside his best friend, drawing his attention to him with a dreary look. "Hey."

"Hi," Joshua replied with an empty smile.

"How did you know I was here?" Jeonghan asked, but his hollow tone implied that he knew, but just wanted to confirm his suspicions.

"I had someone on the lookout for you tell me," he informed, Jeonghan nodded and signaled to the person behind the bar with just two fingers.

"Thank you Mingoo," Jeonghan said, the hollow tone persisting.

Jeonghan had ordered two bottles of beer one for Joshua and one for himself, which upon arriving he took a sip of his own, directing a cold look at Joshua.

"I know why you're here."

Joshua took a deep breath through his nose, looking straight in front of him and he felt his own eyes fall out of focus as his mind began to reel.

"Tell me why I'm here," Joshua muttered, trying not to roll his eyes.

Jeonghan frowned, for the first time in the whole interaction he showed a sign of some shred of emotion. The confused look told Joshua that his best friend might have expected a confrontation like this, but maybe he was not ready yet.

"You want to talk about that night," Jeonghan muttered slowly, the frown still painting small lines between his eyebrows. "But there's nothing to talk about. I am sorry about... everything."

Jeonghan averted his gaze in front of him and took another generous gulp of beer. Joshua knew what he meant by everything, about violating his trust, about letting his feelings for you grow. Or at least, that was how Jeonghan saw it.

Jeonghan still wore one of your scrunchies around his wrist. Joshua closed his eyes as the flashing feeling of remorse coursed through him.

"You're wrong."

His best friend paused as he was about to lift the bottle from the surface of the bar. Slowly, the black haired man turned in the barstool to face Joshua, tilting his head to one side ever so slightly.

"Tell me how I'm wrong," he retorted.

"I'm not here to talk about that night," Joshua began to explain, taking another gulp of beer to gain some very much needed courage. "Nor do I want you to apologize for anything."

Jeonghan pursed his lips into a pout, almost as though he wanted to ask a big, "What?" but refrained from doing so.

"I..." Joshua started, sending a look to the dim lamps on the ceiling, he took another deep breath but it felt like no matter how many times he did that, the restless beating of his heart wouldn't let him free. "I need you to talk to her, Jeonghan... I need you two to talk."

Jeonghan froze, the only part of his body that moved was the pair of brown eyes, scanning Joshua's face over and over again.

"Why?"

The question was uttered slowly and pointedly. Almost as if Jeonghan were avoiding falling into a trap into the deeper parts of this conversation that both men were avoiding to have for nearly a month.

"Because you both need it," Joshua said but he immediately wanted to retract himself, shaking his head once. "She needs it, Jeonghan."

Joshua exhaled hoarsely, feeling that if he didn't hit pause he would soon suffer a mental breakdown. It was driving him crazy, it was burning what peace he had left to ashes.

Some nights had passed since Joshua saw you crying in the living room. You were reluctant to talk about that night again, and the memory of you crying refused to leave his mind. It was robbing him of sleep, of peace. He needed to do something.

There was a general understanding that Jeonghan saw right away. In more than three weeks of not speaking to each other, Jeonghan knew his best friend would not be asking that unless it was completely serious.

But he couldn't bring himself to say yes. By now, he was confused as to how much Joshua knew about what happened that night. Did you tell him about the conversation that led him to this moment? Is Joshua sitting here asking him to reach out to you, his own girlfriend without knowing how Jeonghan felt about you?

If he did know about it all, this was a very strange request to ask the guy that very evidently had feelings for you.

But if Joshua did not know...

"I need to know why," Jeonghan insisted, making Joshua dart a look his way swiftly.

"I told you why."

That much told his best friend that he was bluffing, making Jeonghan huff. "You're not here just because you want us to talk," he grimaced slightly, now toying with the bottle in his hand. "There's more. There's always more with you."

Joshua sighed, letting his eyes close briefly. "I'm leaving in a few weeks," Joshua admitted, licking his lips in an irked way.

"Ah, there it is," Jeonghan nodded with realization, and then he sighed too. "I can't keep doing this, Joshua."

The uneasy feeling invading his chest made him breathe near erratical. It hurt him to know that he caused all of this, and now the two most important people in his life were hurting too.

"I don't care," Joshua said with an annoyed hint in his tone, casting a glance at him. There he saw the guilt in his best friend's eyes too and his heart twisted even more before he blurted: "Just this once, and I'll leave you alone if that's what you want."

That definitely awoke an intrigue in him. "Does your girlfriend know you're here?" he inquired, pinning without much effort something that Joshua decided to omit.

"No and I'd like to keep it that way," he replied pointedly, setting the bottle down with a harsh thump. "Please. For now."

The two men exchanged a long glance that told years of knowing each other so deeply, they had learned to communicate without words. Jeonghan saw the desperation, the guilt and remorse in Joshua's eyes.

"Okay," his best friend replied, but the intrigue and the confusion didn't subside. "I will. I'll talk to her."

"Thank you," he muttered quietly, averting his gaze elsewhere. "I'm sorry about all of this too, Jeonghan. I know you didn't want any of it but if you love her, you'll listen to what she has to say."

Jeonghan froze. Slowly processing what he just heard, he waited for Joshua's next bluff, he waited for something to tell him that he might have misheard but before he could even protest, lie, or negate it, Joshua was already leaving his seat.

"So you do know."

"Please," he said, pulling out his wallet and drawing out a bill which he placed beneath his empty beer bottle. "I know you better than anyone else. Trust me, I know."

Completely thrown off, Jeonghan watched his best friend walk out of the bar, thus leaving him with much to think and no clear sign as to where to begin.

The ride back home was quiet. Joshua remained deep in thought for the whole half an hour, silently thanking that it was about nine o'clock and traffic was busy. He needed the extra minutes to think as to what he was doing, how he would confront you.

Ever since that night, Joshua had encountered a dilemma. He knew that you had feelings over Jeonghan, and that to some degree, it was mutual. He saw the hurt in your eyes afterwards, the inwardly quietness of your mourning of a friendship with him.

And now, he saw the same in Jeonghan. He saw the morose pain of losing you, of not being able to reach you. Something Joshua himself knew too well.

But what killed him was that this was somehow a result of his own choices. He asked Jeonghan to get closer to you, he left you for a month, it was a recipe for disaster.

And it wasn't that he didn't trust you, he did. And he trusts his best friend as well.

Even though he hated himself for all of this, he couldn't help but live in the memory of that night. It made him sick that, even if he had double intentions, he enjoyed it by far more than he had originally thought.

He felt sticky.

But he constantly thought of that night, he vexedly thought of how much he enjoyed watching you and Jeonghan having sex in front of him. It was like he saw a different version of you, and for some reason he could not pinpoint, he loved it.

It was fucked up, he knew that. He didn't know if he would ever confess that to you. But he suspected you knew it already, because he didn't make an attempt to hide it. Joshua liked the way the three of you moved seamlessly, almost as if... it were meant to be.

He felt torn.

Torn between hating himself and thinking of that night. Hating himself for playing with his best friend's feelings and for lying to you. Torn with jealousy because his best friend had feelings for you, but every time he thought of that night, he grew hard at the memory of you fucking Jeonghan.

As soon as Joshua crossed the door, he knew that you were working in your studio. All of the lights were out, leaving the apartment in a somber quietness that was only interrupted by the echoing traffic noise outside.

The curtains were drawn, so the living room was dimly illuminated by the city lights. Joshua discarded his shoes by the entrance before making his way to turn on the lamp on the corner of the room and then went looking for you.

Gently, he pushed the door to your studio, finding the only source of light being your double monitors. You didn't budge, partly because your noise cancellation headphones kept you from knowing Joshua had arrived home.

Joshua leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms as he watched briefly you typing away, every now and then you bobbed your head to what he presumed was the song you were listening to.

He didn't want to pry, because he suspected that times when you were deep into your writing session, you wanted to be left alone. Sometimes, when you were not as busy, he would crash on the small couch next to your desk.

Those times, he would lie idly scrolling on his phone or playing his acoustic guitar. But inevitably, he would fall into a distraction. Just as he was now, lost in the imagination of a life with you, the cherishing of the moments he can get like this.

Before he has to go away again.

Something made you stop typing and you pushed the keyboard in as a sign of termination. A few clicks and then you reluctantly turn your head, as though you already knew he was standing there.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hover," he smiled softly at you.

You grabbed your headset and pulled your head back out of it. "You're back!" you sighed in a pleased surprise. "Hi handsome."

A surge of tenderness and warmth washed over him, suddenly being overcome with the need to melt into you.

"Hi beautiful," he replied, his voice sounding a little hoarse.

He crossed the distance between the door to your study to your armchair and before you could get to your feet, he was already leaning down, grabbing your chin with two fingers to kiss you. It was a brief, tender kiss that ended with a small smacking sound and a hum from you.

"Someone's in a mood," you noticed right away with a tiny smile. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's okay," he whispered before diving again into your soft lips, capturing them with a low hum from his part now, trying to wordlessly let you know that he needed you.

"Okay," you replied in a mere whisper, taken away by the urgency to which your lips were being hugged by his now.

"Are you done with that?" he asked, his voice raspy to what he assumed was the need, the love and adoration he felt for you flooding inside him.

"No, not yet," you replied with a playful grin. "Why?"

Joshua thought of the way you elongated that question, the taunting velvety tone you gave to it. "Because I was thinking of you on my way back," he mumbled, still littering kisses on your lips, moving to one of your cheeks as he kept speaking. "I remembered that I owe you a massage."

"Well then get on with it," you let out a small chuckle that sounded sweet to him, though it was playful. "You don't need to be all over me to do it, Mr. Hong."

That made him laugh in both awe and lack of words.

So he just simply scooped you up off your chair. He initially crouched a little, securing your body with his hands as you wordlessly understood what he intended to do and reached out to wrap your legs around his waist.

Not without some struggle due to the darkness, he searched his way to the bedroom, where Joshua quite literally threw you to the bed, sighing with amusement as he heard you squeak when you landed on the mattress.

You looked at him up and down, a glint of excitement in your eyes.

But Joshua found it hard to move for a moment. The way that you looked at him made him freeze, he found the love and carnal need in your eyes and he almost had to slap himself.

The pause was brief but you noticed. "Come here," you muttered sweetly, reaching out a hand to him.

Joshua climbed on the high bed, placing each of his hands at your sides, his body hovering on top of yours as he slowly propped his knees and elbows to pin your body down with his.

"How was your thing with the boys?" you asked as he planted a tender kiss on the apple of your cheek. "I actually thought you'd be gone for longer."

A sharp pain tugged at his insides. You didn't know he had gone out to meet Jeonghan, and he felt bad for lying to you. He felt bad at how easily he could craft a story to deceive you.

"It was fine," he whispered, taking advantage of the position of his face, so you couldn't see his eyes, probably translating the restlessness he felt inside.

"Did you guys have fun?" you asked and he knew you were just trying to make normal conversation.

"Yeah, you know them," he sighed, trying to make his voice sound at ease. "They're pretty chill."

You shuddered slightly when his breath caressed a sensitive spot on your neck as he leaned to press more kisses on your skin, his heart deflating at every second he waited for your next question. But luckily you quickly shifted your attention to his lips reaching your collarbones.

Your hand slid on the nape of his neck. "Oh, Josh..." you whispered shakily, a small moan coiling when he didn't care to get rid of the t-shirt you were wearing, which he noticed was his.

He cupped your breasts with his hands, fingers digging gently on the cotton fabric as he pressed his mouth on your already pebbled nipple, which he teased with his lips and teeth, gently to not hurt you but harsh enough to make your breath hitch embarrassingly.

"I thought I was getting a massage," you mumbled faintly, your hands searching his body for somewhere to hold onto, a hand deciding to tangle on his long golden hair while the other parked on his back.

"You'll get it, baby," he replied in kind, his hands searching for your shorts, practically ripping them off of you. "But right now I need you."

"Slow down, Josh," you sighed bemusedly as he tossed the shorts to the floor.

"Sorry," he whispered, pressing more kisses into your lips, those becoming more and more heated and hasty. "I really need you."

With a low hum, you were quickly subdued to his carnal desire, holding onto his shoulders your hands roamed all over his back. "You don't want to take this off?" you muttered, fingers tugging on the jacket on his shoulders.

"Yeah, okay," he breathed. Then he pulled back, yanking his brown jacket. And with a thrust of his arm, he carelessly tossed the jacket to the floor.

The sight made you tilt your head on the pillows. "I want the t-shirt gone too, Joshua," you mumbled with a small smile tugging at your lips.

Joshua gave no thought to your command and obliged wordlessly. He just saw the glint in your eyes as his hands searched for the hem of the white t-shirt, pulling it over his head with one motion of his arms.

And just as he began to lean towards your body on the bed, you stopped him. You just lifted one leg from the bed, placing your foot between his pecs.

"Jeans too," you said sultrily quirking up an eyebrow at him. Though there was a noticeable quiver in your tone due to nervousness, the darkened look in your eyes convinced him.

Lately, you have been trying your hand at taking control in the bedroom. A few commands here and there, until you grow more and more sheepish and beg him to retake control. Though obviously not without some teasing from his part.

But tonight, Joshua thought that maybe this is just what he needed. He needed to disconnect his mind from all that troubled him, he needed you to have your fun with him, to use him, to punish him.

So he climbed off the bed, unbuckling his belt, the clinking sound as it dangled made you prop half of your body with your elbows to keep looking at his body as he became progressively more naked.

He stepped out of his light blue jeans, sneaking a glance up at you in your bed as he started to crawl back on top of you. You were biting your bottom lip, hiding an excited smile as you saw his beautiful tanned skin, his bulging biceps and toned pecs.

"You're so hot," you welcomed him wrapping your arms around his neck as he hovered on top of you, meeting your lips with his own with soft and wet kisses. "And mine."

That made him smile as he kissed you deeper. "All yours," he whispered, feeling weak over the way you hummed happily in his mouth, your hands roaming all over his back.

"Yeah, baby?" you mumbled, your voice tiny but still in a taunting purr. A perfect mimic to his own voice when he is the one in control. "Will you do something for me then?"

"Anything," he breathed, his lips finding a sensitive spot on your neck quite effortlessly, just to hear your breath hitch and feel how your body tensed up.

"Get the handcuffs," you murmured into his ear, your fingers raking through his golden hair in a response to your own nervousness.

Joshua paused, but he didn't think of questioning you, or teasing you. He pulled back to see the certainty in your eyes and nodded, making his way to the dresser where you both kept a variety of sex toys and other accessories.

As he got the pink handcuffs he got for you in what felt like forever ago, not mere months, you got to your knees and reached out to your nightstand.

Immediately, he got a notion of what your plan was when he eyed the blindfold in your hands.

"Can you–," you paused, gathering your words in your mind before trying again. "Lie down for me, Josh."

He tried to conceal a smirk by biting his lower lip. But he obliged anyway, partly because he wanted to see where you would go with this. But on the other hand, he ached for you.

"Hands up," you breathed nervously, but the excitement in your eyes made him beam at you. You smiled and nodded your head at the railings of the headboard. "Don't make me ask again."

Anticipation ran thick and heavy through his body. His eyes remained trained on you as he raised his arms over his head, fingers grazing the rails.

You sat back on your heels, hovering over him as you reached out to secure the cuffs around his wrists. You noticed his eyes focused on your face, noticed the dark and greedy need that was slowly eating him from the inside.

"Be good for me," you whispered with a sheepish smile, leaning down to press your lips against his.

"Always am," he breathed, sounding hoarse from the urgent desire beating fast in his throat.

"We'll see about that, baby," you replied, so close to his own face still that he could feel the smile curving in your lips.

Joshua closed his eyes, letting go of his worries when your lips met his again. The pain and remorse slowly blended with the deep craving for your touch, for your love and undivided attention. Selfish, he told himself with a slight rush of guilt, but he couldn't bring himself to stop you.

Because your lips were on his. He swore he could melt into your gentle touch, the tenderness to which you always seem to carry yourself even in moments like this. He hadn't known a tender kiss like yours.

But you quickly progressed into a deeper, heated kiss, tugging at his lower lip with your teeth, making him groan quietly. "You look so hot like this," you said in a breathy mewl, slowly moving your knees to his sides.

Straddling him, you ran a hand from his forehead to the crown of his head, fingers skating through the golden locks of his hair, looking at him with a glint of mischief in your eyes.

"I have a confession to make," you smiled sweetly, your hand left his hair, sliding a fingertip from his cheekbone to his chin. "I was also thinking about you before you got home."

"Y-you were?" he had to swallow hard, his voice sounded hoarse from the lust, love and adoration slowly consuming him whole.

"Yeah," you breathed before biting on your lower lip. "I couldn't even focus on my writing."

"What were you thinking about?" he asked with a low murmur as you continued to litter his skin with wet kisses, he shuddered hard when your sweet breath caressed the curve of his neck.

"I thought of the things I want to do to you," you said breathily, you trailed down to his collarbones, sneaking a glance at him with a sheepish smile. "Have I ever told you?"

Joshua shifted in his position slightly, the metal chain linking the cuffs clanked against the rails of the headboard. "No, I don't think so," he whispered, closing his eyes when you resumed with your little trail of kisses on his skin.

There was a single mole sitting perfectly between his pecs, which you kissed lovingly as your fingers skated on his chest, caressing over, a thumb circling around his nipple just as your mouth kissed the other.

The strangled sound that came from Joshua made you grin, he felt it on his skin as you hummed bemusedly. Joshua was sensitive around his chest area, and you were always so excited to find out just how far you could go.

"I think of having you like this," you raised your eyes to his hands cuffed to the headboard, his beefy biceps framing his golden brown head. "I thought of kissing every single inch of your body."

Joshua made note of the punctuated manner you delivered the last few words, he thought of how sultrily you sounded. Sweet and dangerous.

"I thought of teasing you, marking you..." you gave him a bashful look, trying to bite your own smile as you moved to kiss his other nipple. "I want to see how obedient you can be."

Joshua closed his eyes again, trying to put no resistance to your newly found dominance over him. Raking your fingernails over his chest, littering him with feathery kisses that made him suck in a breath.

"Fuck," he squeezed his eyelids tightly when you suckled the skin on the underside of one of his pecs. His body tensed up, the cuffs clanking against the headboard. "Baby..."

"Mm? How does that feel, Josh?" you asked, a smile playing on your lips.

"Good," he breathed, licking his lips.

"Yeah?" you cocked your head to one side cutely, puckering your glossy lips before attaching them to his skin.

"Yeah..." he replied faintly, limbs relaxing into pleasure when your lovebites became harsher, mercilessly marking his skin.

He vaguely remembered the time where he didn't let anyone so much scratched his skin. He belonged to no one, so no one would leave a mark.

And there he was. Willingly subduing himself to you, letting you leave your mark on his skin, because he was completely yours.

"Stay still," you advised with a low tone before running your tongue on the recently marked area, which was already tingling.

But he couldn't help it, he tensed again, flinching so abruptly that his body nearly made yours jump.

"Joshua," you warned sternly.

"Sorry. Sorry, baby," he rasped with a laugh that remarked on his shyness. "I'm not used to this."

He was usually the one in control. The one torturing you with slow kisses, and you the one cuffed to the headboard. So the times you actually had him at your mercy were very few.

"Mmn, then I think I'll put this on you," you grabbed the blindfold that you had placed aside. "I'll remove it only if you behave."

Joshua didn't try to hide his discontent with that, sending you a glare before lifting his head from the pillows to let you secure the blindfold around his head, covering his eyes.

"There you go," you whispered. "Good boy."

Your fingers slid to cup his chin before capturing his lips with your own in a heated kiss. His tongue swept inside your mouth, muffling a raspy moan that denoted his need for you.

"If you misbehave again, I'll just use my toys and force you to watch," you muttered, emboldened by the absence of his attentive gaze on you now.

"I'll behave," he replied immediately, ignoring the quivering in his tone. "Please, just... don't stop."

There was a pause, your fingers left his chin and with a painful jab in his chest he considered pleading with you to remove his cuffs, maybe just release one of his hands. He wanted to feel you, to ease the ache eating him from the inside.

"Baby? Please," he whispered, licking his lips with some anxiousness. "Please keep going."

"Mmn, someone's a little impatient," you cooed, he could hear you smiling through your tone. "Why are you in a rush? We have all night, baby."

He cursed at himself silently for teaching you everything you were doing. But he couldn't deny that he was enjoying this way too much.

You sat back, pressing your clothed pussy on the hard bulge beneath his boxers. "Oh," you breathed upon feeling the small wet patch on the stretchy and dark fabric he still wore. You had scooted back a little sitting now on his strong thighs.

The next thing he felt was strands of your hair caressing his abdomen before you pressed more kisses around his belly button. Joshua had to ball his hands into fists to avoid jumping dramatically on the bed.

"Fuck," he breathed, feeling your fingers hooking on the band of his boxers and he braced himself, biting hard on his lower lip as your lips pressed more kisses down his happy trail.

Your fingers pushed the waistband of his boxers down further, a sigh of something that sounded close to awe spilled from your lips when his erection slapped his lower abdomen.

You crawled backwards to pull his boxers down his long legs, with a bit of his help. "Have I told you how much I like this?" you whispered, running a finger through his soft pubic hair.

"Maybe," he sighed, suppressing a shudder.

"Baby, I don't think I'd ever seen you this wet," you pointed with a gentle tone.

A finger circled around his slit, gathering the precum on his cockhead. "Mmn," you hummed softly, making him assume that you were licking the precum off your own fingers.

"Baby," he whispered with a near palpable urgency. "Please..."

"Yes, Josh?"

"Please don't make me wait," he pleaded, his voice raspy and he hated how needy he sounded but at the same time he wouldn't dare to pretend otherwise.

"Why should I?" you asked.

"I'll be good, just..." he sighed when your hand started caressing his thighs. "Let me feel you, baby, please..."

"Like this?" you muttered, your hand circling around his length and started stroking him slowly.

He groaned, sinking his head back in the pillows, his heart constricting. "No, baby, not like that," he gasped, but his mouth fell slowly when your grip became tighter around him, moving on his hard cock faster.

You rolled your hand on his bulbous head expertly, smearing his precum all over his veiny shaft, the jerking of your hand causing a wet sound.

"Then how, Josh?" you cooed, making him once again to be rid of the blindfold to see your face. "You don't like this?"

You were probably biting your lip over the sight of him trying to behave and follow your command. You were probably reveling at the sight of him subdued to you, the twitching of his fingers, his throat bobbing.

"I–, I do," he rasped. "Can I have your mouth? Please baby, I'm being good," he whispered, moving his head sideways to muffle a moan against his own bicep when he felt your pretty lips on one of his thighs.

"Mmmn, I guess..." you sighed with a pleased tone. But you didn't give him what he wanted right away.

"Please," he whispered, his thighs tensing involuntarily when your lips kissed closer to his crotch on his thigh. "Please, please..."

"I'll give you my mouth," you conceded, the movement of your hand didn't relent in speed, didn't relax your grip. "But you're going to tell me when you're close."

He nodded frantically.

"Good boy," you whispered, your fist slowed down but you continued jerking him off, giving him a broad stroke of your tongue on the underside of his cock, trailing down to his balls.

"Fuck," he clenched his jaw tightly, the muscle on his abdomen tensing before he groaned gutturally. "Fuck, fuck, baby..."

"Do you like that?" you asked swiftly, your hand rolling over his cockhead to spread his precum all over his cock before you wrapped your mouth on his balls, sucking slightly, testing for his reaction.

"Y-yeah," he croaked, craning his neck as his head sunk on the pillows.

The gentle slurping sound that came from your mouth only egged him on, but he forced himself to ground his body on the bed, the only part of his body allowed to move was his mouth as he moaned breathily.

"So good," he murmured faintly. swearing he could see colors as your mouth continued to suck on his balls, your hand pumping him languidly, distractedly.

"Remember what I told you." you muttered before wrapping your mouth around his cockhead, licking him slowly, as if simulating an open kiss, tasting the salty precum.

"God, fuck," he gasped, moaning hoarsely when you sank your mouth on him, hollowing your cheeks out as you moved up, swirling around the bulbous head. "Baby, I don't think I'll last long."

But you continued bobbing your head up and down his cock, your hand pumping on the base, tongue swirling, sucking him harder.

"Baby, I'm close," he croaked with urgency. "I'm close, fuck, fuck."

You stopped a second later, detaching your mouth and hand altogether from his throbbing cock as he groaned loudly, panting as though he had run a marathon. Even with the blindfold still on, he squeezed his eyes, scrunching in the fleeting attempt to resist his climax.

"Good?" you asked quietly when his breathing calmed down.

"Good," he nodded.

"If I take this off, will you continue to be good?" you asked, lifting a side of the blindfold.

"I promise," he gasped, still sounding breathless. "Please."

The blindfold was slid up carefully. Joshua lifted his head to help you get rid of the headband and placed his head back into the pillows with a pleased sigh.

"Thank you," he whispered, he could finally see you now.

You were still wearing his oversized t-shirt, and panties. But upon scanning you up and down, he noticed your demeanor, the mischievous glint in your eyes as you went back to your position between his spread legs.

"You're being so good, baby," you whispered, sending him a glance. A smirk crowned your glistening lips.

You were relishing at the sight of him handcuffed to the rails of your bed, chest covered in new hickeys, golden brown hair disheveled, eyes wild in lust.

"Where were we?" you asked with feigned innocence, wrapping one hand around his wet cock. "Do you want more, baby?"

Joshua released a sigh through gritted teeth, bracing himself for more torture. Nodding, he replied with a strangled groan. "Please."

"Tell me when you're close again," you whispered before kissing the tip of his cock, gathering the precum with your tongue with a pleased moan.

Now that he had a view of what you were doing to him, he knew that he wouldn't last long.

An urgent, breathy moan spilled from him the moment you wrapped your mouth around him, sinking down on him expertly, taking him wholly. The sight of his cock disappearing in your mouth was near maddening.

"Fuck!" he gasped, tugging at the pink handcuffs in a knee jerk reaction. His thumb brushed the button that could set his wrists free, but he didn't press down on it, the thought didn't even cross his mind.

He ground his hips down on the bed in an attempt to not push them into your mouth. He ached to come... he ached to hear you give him the permission to do so.

"Baby..." he mumbled. "God, that feels so good."

He closed his eyes briefly, gritting his teeth tightly but nothing worked, his ears buzzed, he could taste the sweet release, see it behind his closed eyes in colors and stars.

The wet, smacking sounds that came from your mouth was the only thing he could register for a moment. The quietness in the room overtaken by the sounds created by your mouth, relentlessly going up and down on his hard cock, your drool dripping onto his hilt and his balls.

"Bunny, I'm going to come," he mumbled faintly, he cleared his throat once and insisted. "God, baby, I'm close."

You stopped again, but this time Joshua only breathed deeply, eyes closed to focus on bringing himself back down. He knew that if he saw your face, he wouldn't be able to make it.

"Mmmn," he heard you hum in thought. "Such a good boy. Look."

Obfuscated, he opened his eyes to see you swipe a thumb on his slit, not without some flinching from his part. You had picked up a white bead of his cum and now directing a lascivious glance at him, you took the pad of your thumb to your mouth.

"You're good at resisting your orgasm for me," you pointed with a small smirk. "I wonder if you'll be this good when you're inside me."

He shook his head slightly. "I don't think I can last longer," he mumbled, frowning slightly. "I need to come, baby. Please, let me come."

You tilted your head to one side cutely. "But I'm just starting to have fun," you pouted, but a smile broke your bratty act.

"And I'll make you feel good," he offered with some urgency coating his words. "Please? I'll do whatever you want, just please... let me come."

"Mmmm," you pretended to consider his plea, pursing your lips and looking upwards. "Fine. But only because you're being good."

You leaned your mouth down on him again, looking at him straight in his eyes as you continued to suck the life out of him, bobbing your head up and down, doing everything you know drives him absolutely crazy.

"Fuck," he sighed, balling his hands into fists the moment you hollowed your your cheeks, swiping your tongue around the very sensitive cockhead. "God, baby! Just like that, please, please..."

He lifted his head from the pillows, breathing embarrassingly hard and loud, being so close to his orgasm his thighs and abdomen had already tensed in anticipation.

A breathy moan escaped him once again, making him sound weak and pathetic but he couldn't care less. Your beautiful eyes were locked with his, enjoying every reaction he gave you.

"I'm close," he warned, letting his head fall back onto the pillows. "Baby, baby... fuuuuuck."

You sucked him harder, your tongue pleasured his cockhead eliciting one long raspy moan from him as ropes of cum spilled from him and onto your mouth. You swallowed instantly, looking at him babble and incoherent things to you.

"Thank you," he breathed. "Thank you, baby," he said over and over, breathing hard, eyes closed tightly as he enjoyed every second of his orgasm.

You kept swallowing until he stopped cumming in your mouth and you finished with a loving kiss that you pressed on the reddened tip of his cock.

"Good?" he heard you mumble.

"Good," he replied with a shy smile and opened his eyes.

You looked pleased with your work, in fact you were almost considering calling it a night and skip to aftercare. You leaned forward, reaching the cuffs with a hand and pressed the release button.

"You were so good, Josh," you smiled cutely at him before kissing his studded brow.

His hands searched for you, landing on the line of your back as he kissed whatever part of you he could find, his lips brushed your chin, pressing frenzied kisses until he reached your lips.

A small giggle from you vibrated in his mouth. "Josh," you squealed when his hands forced you to press your body on his. "You don't want to rest, baby? You came pretty hard."

"No," he breathed against your lips. "Need to make you feel good."

"I'm good," you replied dazedly, threading your fingers through his hair. "We can stop here."

"No, please," he muttered with some urgency making his voice quiver. "I can keep going, baby."

You knew your boyfriend could go for hours. In fact, the last time you counted, he could go for five rounds in one night, one after the other. That night made him certain that no other person could make him feel like this.

"Okay..." you breathed.

Joshua's hands slid down from your back, a finger slipped beneath the backside of your lace panties and his other hand wrapped around the waistband, effortlessly ripping the delicate fabric in two.

"Joshua!" you chastised, but there was a smile on your face. "You could've just asked me to take them off."

"Faster this way," he muttered, throwing your ruined panties away and promptly took the hem of his t-shirt to get it off you.

You sent him an amused look before raising your arms to help with his task of undressing you completely.

Joshua chucked the bundled up t-shirt aside and his hands slipped on the back of your head, fingers threading on your hair as he pulled you down for a deep kiss, a moan reverberating on his chest.

He felt you adjust on top of him, your hand carefully searching for his cock, fingers wrapping around him to languidly pump his erection before you threw your body back, angling your wet cunt on his cock.

A sweet sigh spilled from your lips. You decided to toy with him some more by sliding your slippery folds on him up and down. His reddened cockhead dripping wet with your arousal, sensitive over the hard blowjob and the edging.

"Please," he sighed and pleaded with a weak tone: "No more teasing."

"Mmf," you nodded but kept sliding your cunt on his cock, his bulbous head had grown sensitive making him flinch when you rubbed your clit against it, drawing a strangled moan from him.

"Baby, please," his hands gripping your waist nearly give out and force you to sink down on him, but he had to command some control on himself.

"Just a bit longer," you sighed, throwing your head back as your fingers pressed on the underside of his shaft keeping his cock lodged between your folds as you moved your hips back and forth, rubbing your clit on him.

"Sensitive," he whispered, sinking his head on the pillows as tears brimmed in his eyes. But he gritted his teeth, unable to deny that he loved being used by you. "I need you, please. Please baby, just fuck me."

Your mouth parted, letting out a moan that told how much you liked to hear him beg. You liked to hear in his tone, to see in his face how bad he wanted you.

"Please," he insisted with a mere whisper, his eyes trained on your pussy lips spread open by his cock, slick rubbed all over him, he savored the throbbing, the warmth but it hurt at the same time.

And without any warning, you sank down on him. "Joshua!" you squealed when his grip on your hips tightened to the point that it hurt.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," he whispered, squeezing his teary eyes shut. "I'm sorry baby, fuck, fuck, you feel so good."

Your hands found his thighs, angling your body back to move your hips on him, fucking yourself on his cock, riding him in a way you never had.

He opened his eyes to see the beautiful features of your face taken over by blissful pleasure, then he saw his cock glistening wet with your arousal disappearing inside your walls. "Fuck, baby," he sighed in pure awe. "I fucking love you so much."

Joshua sounded so pathetic, his voice was raspy and almost sounded as if he were about to cry. But a soft smile appeared on your face, a glint of love in your eyes.

"I love you too, baby," you replied sweetly, removing a hand from his thigh and placing it over one of his. "So much."

Without thinking, he grabbed you and flipped your back onto the mattress, the movement so swift and efficient you could only squeal in surprise.

"Sorry, sorry baby," he whispered again, positioning himself between your legs and eased himself, thrusting shallowly inside you with a pleased moan that was muffled by your mouth.

It wasn't about regaining control, he just wanted to be face to face with you, kissing you, feeling your chest pressed to his.

"I love you," he whispered again, forgetting about subbing for you but he kept the pace of his thrusts fast and steady, enjoying the sound of your sweet moans in blissful pleasure.

"I love you, Josh," you responded dazedly, wrapping your legs around him, your fingers threading on his golden brown hair.

Joshua leaned his head down, his forehead pressing with yours. You felt the studded piercing grazing your eyebrow, his breath caressing your lips as he moaned gutturally.

A hand searched on the back of his head, grabbing one of yours and he pinned it down on the pillow, locking his fingers with yours.

"I love you," he mouthed, so quietly that you never noticed, being so enraptured in pleasure, moaning his name over and over.

Your hand slipped from his nape down to cup his cheek, bringing him for a sweet kiss that almost toppled him over the edge. "I'm close, Josh," you sighed.

Joshua nodded with his head, diving for another kiss, locking his lips with yours but deeper this time, his tongue swiping over your lower lip and into your mouth. You let out a high pitched moan into his mouth as became undone, the sweet waves of pleasure washing over you.

The feeling of your walls squeezed around him pushed him over too, he stifled a moan, tightening his grip on your hand slightly as he spilled himself inside you with shallow thrusts.

He slumped down on top of you, face cradled in the crook of your neck as the thumping in his eardrums subsided, along with the frenzied feeling coursing in his veins. Hearing your ragged gasps, feeling your legs shaking around him, your free hand stroking his back, his nape, and then his hair.

Joshua thought of something cheesy to say. But no words came out of him. So he settled for the quiet, peaceful moment you gave him, though oblivious to the turmoil that buzzed in his mind. Your heart was beating fast under his chest, and slowly, as he came out of it, he could feel his own heart beating against yours.

The day after, Joshua was returning from a practice session when he noticed you had left the apartment. Looking around the place and looking for you in your study, he only found your phone on your desk. So he promptly knew where to find you.

You turned to see him when he pushed the door open to the rooftop. "Hi bunny," he muttered softly upon standing beside you, close to the walled up ledge of the building.

"Hi baby," you pressed your lips in a weak smile.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Everything alright?"

You shook your head no. "Jeonghan texted me," you whispered, your lower lip quivering slightly.

Joshua stilled as your eyes watered but you quickly brushed it off by looking skyward and breathing deeply. "What did he say?"

"He wants to talk."

"Baby, this is good. It's what you wanted, right? You can tell him how you feel," Joshua said, but the words sounded strangled, as if it took everything in him to voice them out.

You sent him a reluctant look. "I thought that I'd be ready. Now, I don't know what to say," your voice quivered as your eyes brimmed with tears rapidly. "I broke his heart, Joshua."

"We both did," he whispered, feeling his own heart deflate upon the confession.

"What?" you asked, but he wasn't looking at your face anymore.

Shame finally took over him, making him turn his face away. "I suspected that he had feelings for you before that night..." he started, the weight of his guilt sitting at the base of his throat.

"How?"

"He was unusually gentle to you," he mumbled, shaking his head slightly. "You thought that he was being friendly, and he is, don't get me wrong. But this was different, and I know this because I've known him for longer; he spent a lot of time with you, hugged you, called you princess..."

You shuddered, hard enough that Joshua noticed. He saw how you bristled in pain and that almost broke him.

"I don't blame you for not noticing," he said right before you thought of saying something about this. "But I saw the way you looked at him... I heard your speech the night of your book release, and I understood that in my absence you had him. In the month that I left he gave you what I couldn't and I don't blame you if that made you grow feelings, baby."

He gathered his courage and took a deep breath. He wondered again if he deserved you. Maybe he didn't, he thought. Maybe he knew all along and was just sabotaging everything before he could hurt you more.

"And then you told me you wanted to invite him over for a threesome and I agreed, partly because I wanted it. But I also wanted to see if I was right about your feelings for him. I should've told you before but... I was jealous, I was mad at Jeonghan."

Joshua closed his eyes, burdened with guilt and remorse, the pain burning in his chest. He regretted with all his being the moment he decided to torture his best friend and lie to you all because of his own jealousy.

His fingers trembled slightly as he clasped his hands together, blinking at the sky above him while inhaling deeply. The silence was deadly, but he couldn't bring himself to face you.

"You shouldn't have done that, Joshua," you finally whispered, so quietly he needed to see your face. You were crying now, shaking slightly with sobs.

"I know, believe me. I know," he turned to face you now, trying to get you to look at the honesty in his eyes but you just averted your gaze elsewhere. "And I am sorry, I truly am. Baby? Please, look at me."

He cautiously brought a hand to hold your chin, but you quickly turned away before he could even touch you.

"Don't touch me," you whispered, recoiling from his touch and walking towards the door.

Joshua went completely rigid, you turned away from him, his mind began to reel before so fast he was barely aware of the pain that was searing through him.

Calling your name aloud, he tried to chase you before you could reach the door. "Baby, please stop—just listen to me."

"We'll talk when I get back, Joshua," you snapped, turning to flash him a look that stopped the blood cold in his veins.

"Would you have told me otherwise?" he asked, his voice raising to make you hear the urgency in his tone. "If you had known, if you had been certain about your feelings for him, would you have told me?"

You turned to him now, eyes flaring with rage and despair. "You don't agree to a fucking threesome to get me to confront my feelings for him!"

"Answer the question," Joshua retorted, his heart beating faster than ever before.

You sucked in a breath shakily as tears continued to fall down your cheeks. "No. I don't know," you replied with a frustrated tone. "I don't think I would have even admitted it to myself."

Joshua pressed his lips into a tight line. He hoped that you would see what he saw, that you both fucked up and cannot go any longer ignoring that you were hurting each other, hurting Jeonghan.

"I told you before, I needed time–," you gasped and covered your face with your hands in a gesture of frustration. "I can't do this right now, Joshua. I can't talk to you."

His heart instantly deflated, remorse, guilt and pain had finally given way with him, tearing him apart. It had been a while since he last cried, he realized. "I'm sorry," he said.

Hot tears blurred the vision of your pinched eyebrows, the disappointment on your face was the last thing he saw on you before you turned towards the door and left him behind.

You were not sure which door to use. It was the first time you had come to this place, but you assumed that the safest option or the quickest route was the front door.

The theater was dark and it felt cold under the seemingly lack of activity inside. But you heard voices, and loud noises behind a pair of double doors that let white light seep through the crevices.

The nervousness coursing through your veins made your blood pulsate in your throat. The moment you left your apartment you were unable to shake the feeling that you were making a huge mistake.

But at the same time, you needed to be there. You needed to fix things.

"Can I help you miss?" a voice called from behind.

"I'm looking for someone," you replied with a jump, your hand flying to your chest.

Upon turning, the face you saw was familiar.

"Oh, hi there," Joshua's old flatmate, Seokmin raised a hand and waved in a friendly way.

"Hi there," you replied.

"Who're you looking for?" he asked politely. "I work here, so maybe I can point you in the right direction, y'know? It's a big place, easy to get lost."

You took one second to consider how the situation would look to someone who knows both Joshua and Jeonghan. In particular, someone who knows you as Joshua's partner.

Seokmin pressed his lips into the smallest of smiles, not noticing you pause.

"Yoon Jeonghan, do you know him?" you asked meekly, voice quivering.

"That's my boss," he nodded with a pleased tone. "This way."

He turned and headed to the direction you assumed he came from, which was a hallway that distanced the double doors from sight.

"Are you here for the job offer?" he asked curiously, turning to see your face as he enunciated his question.

"J-job offer?" you shook your head silently.

"Yeah, we're in the middle of putting this show together and one of our writers quit recently," he pointed and then his tone suddenly changed. "And... Shua told me you're a writer..."

He turned his head and looked forward, the tips of his ears blazing bright red.

"Oh, don't worry," you smiled shyly too, with a twist to your heart from hearing your boyfriend's name. "But no, uh... Jeonghan is a friend."

"Ah, of course," he sighed, not hiding his relief. "Well, I'm not surprised. He's quite the popular guy."

You nodded, deciding to remain quiet.

The hallways were brightly lit, and as you walked further alongside Seokmin, you picked up more busy noise, voices, people breaking into song, shouting, laughing.

"It's a circus here," Seokmin muttered. "We're getting ready for a rehearsal so it's really busy here."

You stopped walking. "I can come back later," you stammered, suddenly feeling stupid over your rash decision of coming to talk to him, breaking your last agreement with Jeonghan.

The last time you talked to him, he asked for time. You weren't ready to confront your feelings either so you thought it was more convenient for you two to think about what really happened between you two.

"He's not as busy right now, I guess," he frowned slightly. "Are you sure? I can tell him you stopped by."

"Oh no, please don't," you blurted, turning on your heel and waving at Seokmin. "I'll find my way out! Thank you."

You practically ran to find the front door, your mind buzzing with so many thoughts at once that you didn't care how abruptly you left Seokmin, you didn't want to think that you were coming back home to face your boyfriend.

A sharp pain stabbed you right in the chest that you had to fill your lungs with air in order to make the feeling go away.

You stopped before the double doors once again just as your eyes caught the sight of a tall man pacing back and forth before a small stage down below rows of seats.

You pushed the door, the loud creaking noise making Jeonghan snap his head your way.

He froze at the same time you did, but he was faster than you. He handed the tablet he was holding to someone next to him, muttering a few words that made that person and the rest of the crew back away from the stage, calling a break.

Moving slowly down the rows of steps just as he was coming toward you with a question written in his eyes.

Seeing his face again after three weeks of no contact was more than you initially thought it would be. You had missed him with every fiber of your being, you missed his quiet company, his gentle voice, the jokes, the laughs.

Somehow you both met in the middle of the stairs. Jeonghan had to raise his sweet brown eyes to meet yours. A small frown appeared in your face when you choked on your words when you attempted to communicate that you needed to talk to him.

Failing to use your words, and without giving much thought you flung your arms around him just as he wrapped you in his too. His hands rubbed your back when you choked back a sob.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, though you were lost on how he was the one apologizing.

But he did it again, he whispered in your ear as you couldn't contain your tears anymore, he held you for a long while, rubbing your back, whispering that he was sorry over and over again.

"I'm sorry too, Jeonghan," you replied finally. "I know you wanted me to give you more time, but–"

"Don't," he interrupted. "Don't apologize. I shouldn't have made you wait for so long."

The comfort those words gave you made more tears and sobs break their way. For nights you wished for him to just talk to you, to let you explain what happened.

"Are you alright?" he asked, breaking away from your arms slightly, just to scan your face with his eyes. "Did something happen?"

Even if time had passed, he knew you perfectly still. You nodded. "We need to talk," you muttered, looking into his eyes. "I need to talk to you."

Jeonghan nodded, the certainty he offered you in his sweet eyes made you realize that in fact, Joshua was right and you loved him too.

You weren't sure what would happen, you weren't sure of the person you would be after this conversation. But one thing you knew is that by doing this, you could offer a bit of honesty in all this mess to Jeonghan and to yourself.

You would deal with Joshua later.

✮ author's note: hi hi hi there everyone! here it is city lights season 2, lights out! ta-da!!!

i uh, have no explanations for this. i knew i said city lights season 2 would go on hiatus, but i just couldn't resist it and i wanted to torture some people (namely v from windsor) lmao

that's it for me,

toodles

✮ STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO!! ✮

buy me coffee? 🩵

#joshua hong smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #svthub #jeonghan x reader #joshua hong x reader #yoon jeonghan x reader #yoon jeonghan fanfic #joshua smut #svt fanfic #jeonghan fanfic #joshua fluff #joshua hong fluff #joshua hong fanfic #svt x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #hannieween #ff:lights out

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rubywonu · 1 year ago

Text

𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱

“i've got some shit i should mention, pretend my ego is dying, ask me if i love attention, and I'll say no, but i'm lying”

summary: in which seungcheol missed on countless important event with you and you decided it was time for confrontation.

pairing: choi seungcheol x fem!reader

genre: angst to fluff, not mentioned but established idol!au

warnings: arguments, swear words.

w/c: 2.7k

nia’s notes: i don’t know what is just wrote. song is loved by b.i

it was your birthday and the person you wanted to celebrate it with was nowhere to be found. it was a small get-together, consisting of a few of your friends and your boyfriend, who was not there.

you checked your messages and you were a bit let down when the message wasn't seen. it was like seungcheol was ghosting you. for the past few days, your boyfriend was always at his studio. seungcheol would disappear way before you would wake up and return hours past midnight. for some time, you wondered if he was even coming home.

for the whole party, you were glued to your phone hoping cheol messaged you back or saw your message, but each time you were disappointed.

you tried to stay alive and cheerful for your party but it was hard to do so. by the time your friends left, you were angry and sad. each year you and seungcheol would stay up till midnight and write letters to each other for your birthday. it was a stupid tradition but it kept your love alive and this year, you were questioning if it would happen.

you sat down on the couch, after bidding your friends goodbye and you checked your phone, again. you let out a long sigh as you were let down, once again. it was funny to you when you remembered all the other times you were disappointed by your boyfriend.

for the past few weeks, you and seungcheol were supposed to go on dates, and each time, cheol canceled last minute with the same excuse, i'm stuck in the studio, sorry.

this time you were sure you weren't going to let it happen again. so with a bold choice in your mind, you changed your clothes, to one of cheol's sweatshirts and a sweatpant from your closet. you walked over to the counter, trying to find your car keys. you smacked your head slightly when you realized that your car was at the repair shop. it looked like you had to walk to the building, it wasn't far so you had no problem with it.

so you locked the door to your apartment and walked out of your house, slightly regretting not wearing a jacket. the wind was chilly and it burned when it touched your face. you winced as you wrapped your hands around you, you tried to speed walk to the building when you saw the storm clouds coming over in your direction.

in a matter of a few minutes, you reach the company and you let your shoulders relax at the heat inside. you smiled at the receptionist when you walked over to the elevator.

you pressed the floor button and waited to arrive. the ding snapped out out of your thoughts and made your way to the studio room where your boyfriend would be.

you opened the door a little bit, in hopes of surprising seungcheol. "cheol." you called out and the man in front of you snapped his head to meet you. you expected him to be happy maybe even a little glad, but not in a million years did you expect seungcheol to be angry.

"what are you doing here?" seungcheol stood up from his seat. he looked stressed out and it worried you. you walked inside and closed the door behind you. it the light, you were able to look at him more clearly and you were concerned. the lack of sleep was evident on his face, dark circles were present under his eyes.

"well, i got worried when you didn't show up at home, so i decided to stop by." you smiled trying to relax your boyfriend, it was clear to say you did quite the opposite.

"you don't have to come here, go home, it'll take me a few more hours." you were shocked at his words.

"what do you mean a few more hours? cheol what about our tradition?" you asked feeling heartbroken at the behaviour your boyfriend was showing you.

"i don't have time for that, yn. my work is more important." if seungcheol was awake, he was sure he wouldn't say the things he was about to.

you were taken aback at his cold tone and even more when cheol sat down at this desk, continuing his work. "what are you saying? do you mean it?"

"yes. yes, i mean it, now get out." the harsh words that came out of seungcheol's mouth felt like a knife pushing through your heart.

"seungcheol, you need sleep and food, come on let's go home." you walked over to your boyfriend, and gently put your hand on his arm. that seemed to piss him off more.

"i need to complete this, yn. either leave by yourself or i'll do it." seungcheol was sleepy, hungry, and drained. he wasn't in his right mind and each word he said proved exactly that.

"what? do you realize what you're saying?" you were angry, you were pissed at the way he was speaking towards you.

"yn, i don't have time for you or your petty fights, just leave." seungcheol rubbed his hands over his face while he pleaded with you.

you didn't know when but a lone tear cascaded down your eye. you were hurt beyond explanation. "what?" each time seungcheol said a word, your heart cracked and bled in despair.

"leave, yn!" you flinched at the intensity of his voice and moved back. "god, you're so needy, it's annoying." cheol mumbled as he went back to his laptop. you walked away from him and towards the door, trying to contain your tears. you couldn't believe that the mouth that whispered praises and confessions was leaving you in pain, for the first time choi seungcheol made you cry, no he made you sob.

you slammed the door behind you and quickly walked outside the building, in the elevator you could feel yourself breaking down, you put your hand on your mouth, trying to soften your sobs, but it didn't work. without looking back, you excited the building, regretting that decision when you felt the big droplets of water fall on you, it was raining.

you needed shelter but there was no way you were going back into the building, especially after what had just happened. so you put your head down and slowly made your way back to your house, being extremely careful to not slip at any given moment.

before you stormed out of the hybe building, someone saw you leave and was very concerned about your condition. it was obvious for him to realize the culprit of this incident. so he walked over to the elevator, making his way over to seungcheol's studio.

he rushed over and opened the door, confusion visible on his face. "seungcheol." the mentioned man turned around and he became more annoyed. sure, seungcheol regretted what he said to you, but working on a time crunch can do that to people, it didn't look like his fault. "why did yn leave, crying, no seungcheol, she was sobbing, why?"

"i do not want to deal with your bullshit as well, jeonghan just leave." seungcheol regretted the statement as soon as it left your mouth, even more, when he saw the anger displayed on jeonghan's face.

jeonghan was like a brother to you, and the both of you became extremely close when you and seungcheol started dating, you became closer with han.

"shut up and listen to me." jeonghan started. "what did you do for yn, one of the happiest people on the face of this planet, sob while leaving the building. and before you ask me questions like how i know, or something stupid like that just remember that you promised to not make her cry."

jeonghan didn't know what he was saying but he kept on going before falling on the couch in exhaustion. on the other hand, seungcheol remained silent. he didn't realize the gravity of the situation until jeonghan screamed at him.

each word came back to haunt him, he could visualize the perfect smile on your beautiful fade into a gradient of hurt and sadness. seungcheol sat there wanting to take back everything he said that hurt you in any form but that wasn't possible. seungcheol had hurt you beyond description and oh boy, did he feel disappointment rush through his blood.

it didn't prepare him for what he was about to hear though. "gosh, i do hope yn reached home safe, it's pouring real bad." he heard jeonghan mutter and seungcheol felt his heart drop. his eyes were wide and his stance was ready to sprint but he couldn't move. "what?"

"it's raining outside, i hope yn can see anything from the car." once again, seungcheol felt his world stop spinning.

"yn's car is at the repair shop." seungcheol said slowly as the realization hit him. he saw jeonghan turn to him and ask him to repeat himself. "yn doesn't have her car."

this was the last straw, before completing his sentence, seungcheol ran out of the room, and completely ignored jeonghan's call behind him to grab a jacket. but he didn't care, all he cared about was you and he hurt you.

seungcheol spammed the elevator call button, furiously. he was angry at himself, angry at the world, he was angry at everything and everyone but you.

"fuck!" seungcheol screamed and rushed over to the stairs. he started to rapidly climb down the stairs. he was on the higher floors but he did not care at all.

once he reached the base of the stairs, he slammed open the door and ran out of the building, not minding the glances he received while doing so.

the rain looked worse than jeonghan made it seem, big droplets were clouding his vision but he moved on. seungcheol slowly started to walk into the rain while scouting all his sides in hopes of finding you.

he saw a small figure pushing through the cold rain and he immediately knew it was you by the familiar sweatshirt. and then seungcheol ran, he ran for his life. he didn't care about the slipperiness of the ground and he didn't care when the rain got harder, the only thing he cared for you so he ran in search of your warm body.

he was right behind you now, and he grabbed your arm, regretting it as soon as he saw you flinch at the touch. "yn, it's me." seungcheol spoke with a soft voice and he begged the gods for you to be alright with his presence, but it looked like his prayers were skipped.

you pulled your hand away and continued to walk away, leaving seungcheol's heart to shatter. "get away from me."

"yn, listen to me, please." seungcheol didn't give up just yet, he ran in front of you and held you by your shoulders, trying to be as gentle as possible. "let's just go back to the studio, i promise we'll talk there."

"you don't care about me, did you forget about it already?" you moved away from your boyfriend and walked away from him, again.

"what do you mean?" you turned around at seungcheol's ridiculous statement and scoffed, anger seeping into your face.

"'what do you mean?' are you crazy choi seungcheol." cheol flinched at you calling him his full name, ever since the both of you started dating, he had never heard his name come out of your mouth like that, and boy did it hurt.

"first of all, you gave up on our tradition, you know how much it means to me but you left that. then, you disregarded me, seungcheol. i was worried about you and what did you do? you screamed at me, telling me to leave you alone and as if that's not bad enough you proceeded to call me clingy and needy, you said you were annoyed by my actions. since when did my care and love for you turn annoying? i was looking out for you, but you took my heart and broke it."

seungcheol didn't realize how much he messed up until he heard your feelings and regret swarmed his whole body.

"and you did it all on what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life, my birthday." your voice cracked and tears struck down your face.

realization came sticking to cheol as he stood there in shock. he forgot about it because of his hard schedule, he forgot your birthday. you turned around, trying you hide your crying face.

behind you, seungcheol pondered at his bad decisions. he hated himself, he hated the way he made you feel, and he hated to be the reason for your sadness.

for the past month, you and seungcheol had talked about all the things the both of you wanted to do for your birthday and they were in contrast to what was actually happening. what was supposed to be a day filled with loving you turned into a day where your relationship was in danger.

"i'm sorry. i'm sorry." seungcheol's soft voice behind you only made you cry harder. you turned around, and the sight left you speechless.

seungcheol was on his knees, he was crying. "i'm so sorry, yn." the rain and your boyfriend's harsh sobs were the only things you could hear, apart from your own cries.

no matter how angry you were with seungcheol, it pained for you to see a man so strong break down in tears while on his knees. you joined him on the floor, and the both of you cried while holding each other in the rain, gaining warmth from the other.

"im so sorry, im so sorry for everything i did. im so sorry for the way i spoke to you, you didn't deserve it. you were just trying to be a good girlfriend but i screamed at you, i'm so sorry. please forgive me, don't leave me, yn, please."

seungcheol's ramble made you cry harder, you pulled away from him and grabbed his face, making him look at you. "i'm not going to leave you, don't worry." you go up and pulled seungcheol up as well. "let's go home and talk there."

the both of you walked hand in hand in silence, wiping the tears on the way, the rain washing away your tears and replacing them with a cloud of sadness. when you reached home, without talking you and seungcheol walked into separate bathrooms to clean up. it was obvious that both of you wanted to talk about it but the wound was too fresh.

you finished your shower and dried your hair, you were currently walking to the guest bedroom where seungcheol was cleaning up. you opened the door and seungcheol was on the bed, the room was dark, and he was drying his hair. you heard a sniffle and it damaged you.

you made your way in front of your seungcheol grabbed the towel without saying anything and proceeded to rub his hair. as you did this, seungcheol's tears only started to come out faster.

you dropped the towel on the bed and placed your hand on his face, seungcheol leaning into it. you swiped your finger under his eyes and removed his tears. the action only seemed to make him cry more.

"i'm so sorry." you pulled him into a hug, and seungcheol immediately responded by placing his hands around your waist and pulling you in as close as possible.

"it's okay baby, i didn't like it at all but i understand where it came from, so i forgive you. just promise not to do that again." seungcheol's eyes snapped open no light up at your words.

"thank you, i promise to never make you cry ever again. i'll cancel all my plans for the next week, it'll be you and me, that's it." seungcheol stood up and held your waist, your hands immediately going to his neck. you smiled at his enthusiasm and it was then you realized he was sincere. the both of you kissed, leaving the troubles of the day to be washed away by the rain, and you and seungcheol emerged like a rainbow during the pain.

and from that day onwards, seungcheol never broke his promises, he never let you cry and most of all, seungcheol never forgot to make you feel loved.

taglist: @xomingyu . @pixieskie . @bangchansbae . @weird-bookworm .

493 notes · View notes

elllisaaa · 3 months ago

Text

RIGHT HERE - H. HYEONGJUN

SUMMARY : when one drunken night leads you to kiss your best friend, it gets and harder and harder to ignore your underlying feelings for him

-> pairing : best friend!hyeongjun x fem!reader

-> words count : 9.6k words

-> genre : friends-to-lovers, smut, a tiny bit of angst and some fluff at the end

-> warnings : switch!hyeongjun x switch!reader, unprotected sex, making out, swearing, teasing, riding, fingering, semi-public sex, creampie, oral (f. receiving), dry humping, begging, marking, little bit of choking (because i'm obsessed with these pretty hands of his), dirty talk, alcohol consumption, jealousy, yn has big boobs because i have big boobs and i want to feel appreciated lmaoo, junhan is wearing a half skirt at one point because he looks hot with that, tiny bit of angst

+ the way i'm depicting junhan does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction.

-> 18+ content bellow, minors DNI

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language

-> author's note : a little fic for the birthday boy !! i just had to celebrate one of my ults' bias special day, and it was good that i was working on this fic at the same time ! i had this idea back in january, and honestly i never thought that it would finally come together but i love how it turned out and i hope you'll like it as much as i do, because honestly writing junhan is so therapeutic for me for some unknown reasons lmaoo.

-> playlist : right here by chase atlantic - do i wanna know ? by arctic monkeys - keep me up by b.i - she by harry styles - i like the way you kiss me by artemas

-> masterlist | xdh masterlist

Hyeongjun had never been the type to go to parties. He enjoyed music, yes, but not the loud ones everyone played at these events, and he hated it even more when you dragged him on with you. However, he never said no, never refused to follow you along with his members. All of them were always eager to go to these parties, and you too. He always felt like he was killing the mood by saying he didn’t like it. But what really convinced him every time were your pleading eyes, and your cute little pout as you said his name in the most adorable way. At least, he was always the last one still sober and he could bring everybody home safely, he could make sure you were okay at all times.

And he really should get paid for it because dealing with you when you were drunk was some kind of a challenge. But over the loud people and music, the bad smell of alcohol and sex, all the people he didn’t know talking to him just because he was famous ; what he hated the most was seeing you flirt with everyone coming your way.

Hyeongjun was not one to get easily jealous. Hell, he didn’t even have any right to be : he wasn’t your boyfriend, only your best friend. But you got him chewing on his lips and clenching his fists as you were dancing with other men. He wished it was him, wished he was the one holding your hips and making you twirl around and giggle, wished he was the one whispering things that were making you blush in your ears.

But he wasn’t. Maybe if he had had some balls when Gunil introduced you as his childhood friend, maybe if he had followed the advice of his members and asked you out right away, he would’ve been the one dancing with you right now. Maybe he would not be stuck here, and maybe he would not have to settle on looking at you from afar rather than being the one making out with you on that couch. And as much as he wanted to be mad at you for it, he couldn’t. He could only blame himself for the situation he was in, it was all his fault.

The sigh he let out startled the girl standing beside him, the very same one that tried to hit on him for some time. He rejected her already, but she kept coming back for more, and he was starting to get uneasy. He wanted to get out of here, to walk you home, tuck you into bed and then get back to the dorms and pray that one day his feelings will fade away. Because what he felt for you was way more than lust, it was way more than a want or a need and it was becoming harder and harder to hide it from you when your whole body was pressed against his as you tried to walk straight.

“- ‘M so tired, Junnie…

- I know, but we’re almost there, hold on.”

You hummed quietly, trying to not let the exhaustion take over your body. You looked up at Hyeongjun, and you didn’t know if it was the alcohol talking or if it simply allowed you to finally stop lying to yourself, but you couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was incredibly pretty under the city lights. His long hair had these beautiful curls that complimented his face perfectly, his eyes shining under the moonlight and his pointy nose that you had always found attractive casting beautiful shadows all over his face.

“- You’re so pretty.”

Hyeongjun thought that he didn’t hear you right, that it was the alcohol talking. But still, his breath got stuck in his throat when the words left your mouth, and his cheeks heated up when you cupped his cheeks and stood on your tippy toes to kiss him. His eyes widened in surprise, letting you peck his lips for a few seconds before he regained some consciousness and grabbed your shoulders to push you off of him, trying not to let himself soften at the way you whined his name.

“- You shouldn’t do that when you’re drunk, Y/N. I don’t want you to regret it.”

The pout aborning your lips was the cutest thing he had ever seen and it was hard to resist you when you were like this, pleading for the attention he himself craved to give you for months.

“- I won’t ! I promise, Junnie, I just want to kiss you.

- Still. I’m not doing anything while you’re vulnerable. Let’s just go home.”

You whined again, but in the end, you complied to his request and followed him down the streets to your apartment. And as if nothing had happened, you continued to rant to him about one girl that apparently talked behind your friend’s back, but Hyeongjun couldn’t focus on anything else than the feeling of your lips touching his. He was unable to listen to you for the whole ride, simply humming at everything you said and you were too far gone to care about it.

You begged him to come inside and help you take off your makeup because you were too tired to do it yourself. So Hyeongjun did. He kept your hair out of your face as he washed it off, feeling you slowly relaxing under his fingertips. Then, he let you put on some more comfortable clothes, trying not to look at your bare legs as you climbed in your bed wearing only some underwear and an oversized shirt. He tucked you in, and kissed your forehead before going home, the memories of this night playing on loop in his head.

And it didn’t stop messing with him for the next few weeks. As much as Hyeongjun tried to bury himself into his work to forget about what you said, about what you did, he could still hear your slurred voice calling him pretty, he could still feel your lips pressing against his. Everytime he thought he had succeeded in finally getting past all that, something reminded him of you and he was going back to the start again.

The worst part was that he started to make excuses to not see you. It wasn’t like he didn’t miss you, on the contrary even - it was torture for him to turn down your invitation to hang out together. But he was quite certain that if he did see you, he would spill out his feelings like the loser he was and he wasn’t ready to let you go away. Hyeongjun knew that what happened that night probably didn’t mean anything to you, that you were drunk and not thinking straight, but he couldn’t stop his heart from racing when he closed his eyes and he was taken back to the moment you kissed him.

Hyeongjun sighed as he looked down at the lyrics and music sheets in front of him. He had been trying to work on these new ideas for a long time now, but you invaded his thoughts so much that he hadn’t been able to concentrate or focus. He had been there for a good two hours now, and he hadn’t made any progress, the lack of sleep he was getting lately surely not helping his case either. He was ready to go back to his failed attempts to produce something remotely good when some soft knocks at the door of the studio interrupted him. He spared a glance at his phone sitting on the desk and noticed that it was pretty late, brows furrowing as he wondered who it could be.

“- Come in.”

The door cracked open slowly, revealing your familiar silhouette. The weather was starting to warm up a little, thus you were only wearing some shorts and a hoodie that Hyeongjun recognized as his, his whole body heating up at the thought of you feeling this comfortable in his clothes. His eyes then drifted to the small grocery bag that you held in your hands. And even if he hadn’t seen you since that infamous night, and even if he was a little anxious about confronting you, a shy smile creeped up on his lips upon finally seeing you, his heart beating faster as you got closer.

“- I hope I’m not disturbing you ? Just thought that you might be craving some snacks since you’re gonna stay here until late.”

You handed him the bag, which was indeed filled up with his favorite snacks. You had stopped by the dorms on your way and Jiseok had told you where your best friend was, since he seemed to be avoiding you recently. It surprised you, because he wasn’t the type to usually stay up so late. Once again, Hyeongjun couldn’t help the warmth spreading from his head to his toes at knowing you did all that for him, and came all the way here only for him, only because you cared for him.

“- You’re never bothering me, Y/N. And thank you so much, I… It’s really sweet, I appreciate it, even more since I’ve been a terrible friend lately.”

You shrugged as you sat down on the chair beside him, crossing your legs and resting your forearm on your knees. You wanted to talk to him about what happened that night, that was why you came here, mostly. But you couldn’t bring yourself to let the words out, fidgeting with the hem of Hyeongjun’s hoodie.

“- I’m the terrible friend here, honestly. I’m sorry Junnie, I shouldn’t have kissed you and I shouldn’t have pushed when you said no, even if I was drunk, it was incredibly wrong of me to do that. And I understand if you need some time away from me because what I did was really disrespectful.”

Seeing how stressed and anxious you seemed to be made Hyeongjun’s heart clench in his chest. Were you really beating yourself over that for the past weeks ? Did you really think that you made him uncomfortable ? Oh, he was an idiot. Hyeongjun closed his eyes for a second, embarrassment clearly visible on his face as he mentally swore at himself for being so dumb. Of course that ignoring you for such a long time would make you spiral, he knew how you could get sometimes, so why did he do that ?

“- You have nothing to apologize for, Y/N. It’s no big deal, okay ? It was just a kiss, and that’s all. But I should be the one saying sorry, and I am because I’ve been an asshole for making you believe that you did something wrong.”

“No big deal” ? Yeah, of course ! The fact that he couldn’t keep the sensation of your lips pressing against his for more than three minutes showed really well how it was “no big deal”. But he couldn’t tell you that, obviously. It seemed like you regretted it enough for him to ask if there was any meaning behind your actions.

“- Best friends aren’t supposed to kiss, I thought you just needed some space. Just… Please, tell me that I haven’t ruined everything, because that’s the last thing I want.

- You haven’t ruined anything, I promise. I’m just glad we talked it out.”

You nodded but the tears that gathered in your eyes did not want to go away that easily.

“- Come here.”

You grabbed the hand Hyeongjun reached out to you, and you let him pull you in a hug, resting your head against his chest. You sighed deeply as you basked in his embrace, in his comforting presence, in his familiar scent that did wonders to calm you down.

“- So, you think I’m pretty ?”

Hyeongjun chuckled when he felt you hit his chest. You could already feel your face heating up from his question, the memories of that night still fresh in your mind, and the way you embarrassed yourself too.

“- That’s not funny ! I was drunk.

- But you know what they say ? Drunk words are sober thoughts.”

You lifted your head up, a faint blush spread across his cheeks as well. He seemed to have gained some confidence lately, and you loved it for him, but being on the receiving end of it made your heart flutter in a way that was really not good considering Hyeongjun was your best friend. But still, you let him push away a strand of your hair and tuck it behind your ear, loving the feeling of his fingers brushing against your skin a little too much.

“- It’s not a bad thing though, I think you’re pretty too.”

You wanted to act unaffected, to think that he was only trying to make you feel better, but the way your heart skipped a bit was telling you otherwise. And the way you looked down at his lips for a few seconds too long for him to not notice certainly did nothing to help either. The atmosphere had shifted - you could feel it, and from the way Hyeongjun’s lips parted in search of more air, you knew that he felt it too. There was something in the air, something that made you want to give in to your desire.

“- Would it be so bad if I kissed you again ?

- I don’t think so…”

Your own hands went up to cup his face, feeling the heat of his skin under your fingertips. Your eyes drifted from his intense gaze to his pretty lips every two seconds, and slowly, you leaned in closer. His lips brushed against yours once, both of you releasing a shaky breath at the contact. Then, he dared press a soft kiss on your slightly open mouth. And the third time, you finally kissed him for real, your arms wrapping around his neck to push him closer to you.

Hyeongjun welcomed you in his arms again, hands hesitantly going to hold your waist as his eyes fluttered shut. He couldn’t believe that you, his best friend, his crush, were really kissing him right now. But the way your lips were moving in sync with his was a proof of how real all this was, and Hyeongjun decided that he wanted to enjoy it for as long as it was going to last, no matter if it meant nothing for you in the end.

Suddenly, Hyeongjun snickered his arms around your waist, pulling you in to fully sit on his lap, eliciting a gasp from you that allowed him to plunge his tongue in your mouth. He was never this straightforward usually, but he had waited so long to feel you, he didn’t want to waste any more time. His hands found purchase on your thighs as your tongue danced with his, lust clouding his and your mind too.

“- F-Fuck, Y/N… Don’t stop…”

You grinned as you let your kisses wander from the corner of his lips to his neck, lightly sucking on the sensitive skin there, rewarded by some airy moans Hyeongjun couldn’t contain. He bucked his hips into you involuntarily as you bite down on his flesh softly, a whine escaping his lips this time. He made the prettiest sounds ever and you really wondered why you didn’t do that sooner. After all, you always thought that Hyeongjun was handsome - who wouldn’t ? - but never acted on it because he was always so shy to initiate any physical contact with you. And even as you got closer, it was always so platonic, you never dared make a move, nor even admit to yourself that you found him really attractive.

“- Junnie, I want more, please.”

The way you looked into his eyes, the way you whimpered his name, the way you were grinding against his clothed hard on - everything in you made him weak in the knees and he folded so quickly it was surely pathetic but Hyeongjun didn’t care. In this moment, all he wanted was you and nothing else, nobody else.

“- Anything you want, baby.”

The nickname slipped past his lips so easily, as if it was all natural and it made a new wave of arousal crash over you. You knew you couldn’t really do everything you wished because you were still at the studio, but it didn’t stop you from getting rid of your shorts and underwear in the span of a few seconds while Hyeongjun pushed down his sweatpants just enough for him to free his cock.

Your mind was already so far away that you didn’t even take the time to admire him in all his glory, simply coming back to sit on his lap, this time without any clothes to separate the two of you. His hands found their spot back on your waist, this time feeling courageous enough to let them slide down to your ass, guiding you to rock your hips back and forth over his hard dick, coating him in your slickness.

“- Shit, you’re so wet, feeling so good already…”

You never thought you would hear him talking dirty to you one day, but here you were, and you loved it so much that you barely tried to keep your voice down as his tip repeatedly bumped against your clit in the most delicious way.

“- So good, Junnie… Want you so bad, fuck !

- Then take me, baby, take whatever you want from me.”

You didn’t need more than that to sink down on his cock, both of you moaning in harmony as you threw your head back. You felt so full of him, and you felt so tight around him, it was impossible not to get lost in lust. You picked up your pace, rolling your hips a few times before you started to really ride him, the sound of skin slapping filling up the room quickly.

“- You’re so fucking good at this baby, holy shit… So wet and tight…”

You chuckled on top of him, grabbing his shoulders stronger for support as you could feel your knees giving up already from the intense rush of pleasure coursing through your veins.

“- Love your cock, Junnie, feels perfect…”

Hyeongjun hummed at your praises, trying to not let them get to his head but it was hard when you were bouncing up and down his dick and that you felt so good he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, your name falling from his lips when you resumed your kisses on his neck.

“- Y/N… I-I’m gonna cum…

- Me too, I’m so close Junnie…”

As your moves became sloppy, Hyeongjun took it upon himself to grip your waist firmly and help you roll your hips on top of him, thrusting up to meet you halfway. Your mouth fell agape, nails digging into his shoulders over his clothes to ground yourself in reality. As your orgasm washed over you, you weren’t thinking about the fact that Hyeongjun was supposed to be only your friend, you weren’t thinking about everything that he was making you feel and that he shouldn’t. You weren’t thinking about anything other than him and how right having his hands on you and his lips on yours felt.

You were afraid that everything would be awkward after this, but it all went back to normal. It was as if what happened that night, as if what happened in his studio never existed for Hyeongjun. And you should've been happy with that, should've settled for forgetting all about this and not ruining your friendship even more. But deep down, it hurt to know that he was able to not care when he was all you could think about ever since your lips touched his for the first time and you couldn’t get him out of your mind even if you tried.

You felt guilty too. You were the one who started it all, the one who kissed him and told him you thought he was pretty. Hyeongjun never asked to be dragged into all of this. And it felt even more wrong to feel jealous of the way some girl you didn’t know was flirting with him. You had no right to feel that way, no right to be mad at him for doing this - even though you were almost certain that Hyeongjun wasn’t the one who started the conversation.

You had no right to feel jealous, but you were, and you decided that the best way to forget about it was to flirt with someone too. It was the worst choice you could’ve made, but your feelings were too confused to think further, just needing a distraction to stop thinking about Hyeongjun. So you gave a chance to the guy who was trying to hit on you since you arrived, and you tried to be subtle about the way you were often stealing glances in your best friend’s way.

And Hyeongjun couldn’t help doing the same, trying to not let the overwhelming feeling of disappointment take over him as he watched you flirt with another man from afar. He was usually a sweet guy, but right now, he couldn’t care less about whatever this girl whom he didn’t even remember the name of was yapping about. He had a tunnel vision for you, only you standing out of the crowd. And Hyeongjun only wanted to forget about you, forget everything about whatever it was that happened in the studio. So he grabbed his beer, still half-full, and he chugged it down without any hesitation.

The rest of his night was kind of a blur, and when Hyeongjun woke up the next morning, he wasn’t really surprised about the terrible headache that hit him as soon as he opened his eyes. A pained whine escaped his lips as he tried to sit up, the vivid light coming through the window making it all worse. Hyeongjun closed his eyes for a few minutes, trying to remember where he was because he knew for sure that he wasn’t in his bedroom. And then he heard a sigh by his side, his gaze falling on you, peacefully sleeping on the other side of the bed, just as naked as he was. And suddenly, he was hit with all the memories from last night.

“- Junnie ! I’ve been searching for you all night, I missed you !”

The pout on your lips made his heart flutter, but Hyeongjun tried to stay focused on the fact that he was jealous, hurt, and a little mad at you. But it was hard when he had been drinking the whole night, not even able to remember all the alcohols he had, and it was even harder when all he wanted was to kiss your pretty lips and taste you again.

“- I was busy. It seemed like you were very occupied too.”

All the drinks he had were starting to get back at him, and he wasn’t able to leave on the filters he usually had when talking to people, especially when he was talking to you. The bitter tone of his voice hit you like a truck, not used to Hyeongjun being in this kind of mood, especially when he was with you. It hurt too, more than you thought it would.

“- What ? I can’t even have a little fun now ? You were flirting with a girl too…”

It was petty of you to make some reproaches at him when you were always the one doing exactly what you commented about. But the memory of this pretty girl laughing with him was all you could think about. You didn’t even remember the name of the guy you danced with later, too focused on watching over your best friend and this girl, too worried that he might kiss her or go home with her. And you knew it wasn’t how Hyeongjun would act usually, but everything seemed odd tonight. Hyeongjun sighed while shaking his head, visibly disappointed in you.

“- I’ve never said that, Y/N. Fuck… You’re just so confusing right now.”

He ran his hands over his face, trying to remain concentrated on the conversation even if he wanted to either go to sleep and forget everything that had happened these past weeks or just pull you in and shut you up with a kiss. He obviously preferred the second option, even though it was also the one that seemed less likely to happen. You crossed your arms over your chest, suddenly hyper aware of the way your top showed so much of your cleavage, suddenly noticing how you’ve been leading him on because you couldn’t just tell him how you felt. Your head and thoughts weren’t clear, you couldn’t think straight when he was looking at you with a mix of want and sadness - you just wanted to hold him close and never let him go.

“- I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intention.

- I know. I know you’ll never hurt me purposely.

- But I still hurt you…”

Hyeongjun could see how guilty you felt from the way you were biting your lips and avoided his gaze, and he almost regretted saying anything in the first place. But even though he was grateful he got to know what you tasted and felt like, maybe it would have been better if it all stayed in his imagination, if it all stayed a fantasy. It would’ve been so much easier to forget about you if he didn’t know how you sounded like when you were about to cum, if he didn’t know how pretty you were on top of him.

All the alcohol you had made you a little dizzy, not feeling it when Hyeongjun got closer to you until his fingers brushed against your cheeks, prompting you to look up at him. His pretty eyes were glazed with some kind of lust that made your insides twist. You definitely shouldn’t have these feelings for your best friend, but the way his thumb swiping over your bottom lip made your heart skip a beat was enough of a sign for you to finally admit that what you felt for Hyeongjun was way more than friendly sentiments. When you looked in his eyes again, it was like you were suddenly hit by this realization even more, your breathing hitching in your throat as he leaned down to kiss you again.

You closed your eyes and let Hyeongjun do whatever he wanted. It had only been a few days since you had last felt his lips on yours, but it was as if it had been months. And if last time, you had taken your time savoring how his tongue was sliding against yours, tonight you just wanted to take everything he had to give you, tonight you just wanted him in the rawest way possible.

And Hyeongjun felt the same, too hungry, too impatient to wait any longer. He grabbed you by your thighs, lifting you up on the kitchen’s counter. You spread your legs instinctively, pulling him closer again and your lips returning to his. His hands found their place back on your waist, feeling how hot your skin was under his fingertips due to the crop top you were wearing. Your own hands were tangled in his hair, occasionally mindlessly tugging on it and earning some quiet moans from Hyeongjun that made you even wetter.

“- Junnie… Please…”

You were panting against his mouth, desperately grinding against him to get the tiniest amount of friction that was nowhere near enough to ease your desire. Your eyes were hooded, missing how Hyeongjun looked at you as if he wanted to eat you alive, only feeling his hands roaming around your body. He came up to squeeze your breast over the material of your top, making you arch your back into his hands and release an airy whine, wanting more and more of him.

“- Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me and I’ll do it.

- Want your fingers, been dreaming about it…”

The admission made him curse under his breath as he urgently started to help you unzip your jeans, immediately slipping his hand into your panties and going to press down on your clit. You threw your head back instantly, having craved his touch more than you’d like to admit. But it felt so good to finally have his hands on you, so good that you didn’t care about the fact that you were in the kitchen of someone you barely knew.

“- Been fantasizing about me, pretty ? Been thinking about my fingers when you were touching yourself ?”

A low moan escaped your lips as the tip of his fingers brushed against your entrance a few times, and his words turned you on beyond what you thought was possible. You never thought you would ever hear Hyeongjun telling you those things but for some reason it made it all more exciting. Your cheeks were burning up, as well as your whole body as you dived back into his hypnotizing gaze.

“- Say it.

- Y-Yes, I did, thought about it a lot Junnie, couldn’t help myself.

- I thought about you too, baby.”

Upon hearing your answer, Hyeongjun slid one of his fingers inside of you, reaching way deeper than you’ve ever had with your own. A louder moan slipped past your lips, and you had to bite down on the flesh to not let any other sound escape you. His last words were replaying again and again in your mind as his thumb played with your clit just right and his finger moved easily due to how wet you were.

“- You want another ?

- Please, yes…”

You couldn’t help whining as Hyeongjun carefully pushed a second finger inside of your cunt, the feeling overwhelming you in the best way possible. His fingers were much longer than yours, hitting your sweet spot without even trying to and making you clench around them. Slowly, he increased his pace, lewd squelching sounds starting to echo in the room and mixing with the noises coming out of your mouth against your will.

And unlike that night at the studio, now Hyeongjun really took his time to look at you closely. Your boobs were squished in a tiny crop top that showed a lot of your cleavage and made them look heavenly, your pretty waist underlined by the low rise pants you wore. Your hair were brushing against your shoulders every time you looked down to see how quick Hyeongjun’s fingers were moving inside of you, how skillfully he was circling around your clit. But the best part was the way you stared at him with your mouth half-opened, eyes heavy with desire and lust for him, the way you whispered his name like a prayer when he hit that perfect spot.

“- I’m close… I’m so close, please, don’t stop…

- I won’t pretty, cum on my fingers and then I’ll fuck you, yeah ?”

You nodded as best as you could, pleasure already taking over you because of the way he was talking to you, because of the way his mouth got so dirty and filthy all of sudden. You squeezed your eyes shut as your orgasm crashed over you, biting down on your lips hard enough to draw some blood and trying to not let too many noises escape you as you came undone for him, thighs shaking as he continued slowly thrusting his fingers even after you’ve stopped clenching so hard around him. You grabbed Hyeongjun’s hand with a whimper, and the smirk on his lips when you did so almost made you want to let him go on a little longer.

“- Open up.”

You immediately listened to his command, your mouth falling open for him. You felt him pull his fingers out of your cunt, bringing them up to your lips and pushing them against your tongue. You closed your mouth around them, sucking his skin clean of your release until Hyeongjun had enough of the sinful scene in front of him - pulling his fingers out of your mouth and grabbing your throat instead to kiss you hungrily. His tongue found yours again, this time much more demanding and fervent, as if he had let down all his inhibitions, as if he couldn’t contain himself anymore.

Your mind was hazy, but you still felt the aching in your cunt coming back. You needed him, and you needed him now, no matter that anyone could walk in on the two of you. Your hands fell from the back of his neck to the front of his pants, quickly undoing the buttons and zipper, struggling a little more with the straps holding the half skirt completing his outfit. His lips left yours to help you, the black cloth falling on the floor but he couldn’t care less when you were already palming him over his underwear.

“- You sure you wanna do this here ?

- Fuck, yeah, I don’t care, I just need you so bad Junnie…

- Shit… Need you too, pretty.”

You helped Hyeongjun push his boxer’s down enough for his cock to spring free. You didn’t hesitate before spitting in your palm and stroking him a few times, coating him with your saliva. He couldn’t help but stare at your hand, a low moan slipping past his lips.

“- You’re so hot…”

His praises we’re getting to your head, making you even more dizzy and you didn’t even know anymore if it was the alcohol or just the effect he had on you. However, you needed him too bad to tease him for too long, your legs coming up to wrap around his waist and pulling him closer to you until the tip of his cock bumped against your clit. Hyeongjun got a grip of your waist, stopping you from squirming around as he entered your tight, soaked cunt.

“- F-Fuck ! You feel so good, Y/N, so fucking good for me…

- Please move, need more !”

Your voice was already so high pitched, and you seemed so gone - eyes hazy and looking fucked out from his fingers only. Hyeongjun groaned as he tried to not lose himself in the feeling too soon, but it was hard when you felt even better than the last time, it was hard when the alcohol heightened all his feelings, it was hard when you were whining his name like that and looking at him so desperately - you were driving him crazy.

The first thrust of his dick immediately hit your sweet spot, slapping a hand over your mouth to at least try to keep quiet and the other flying to his shoulder to ground yourself in reality. The second thrust had you praying that no one would pass by the kitchen or they would hear you moan like a slut but you couldn’t care anymore when Hyeongjun looked so attractive, eyes glued to where his cock slid right into your wet pussy, his pretty, airy moans engraved in your mind forever.

You didn’t have enough consciousness left to control your noises anymore, not with the way Hyeongjun was pounding into you relentlessly, one hand massaging your tits over the material of your top and the other one back around your throat. The lack of air as he squeezed your neck pushed a choked moan out of your mouth, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you mindlessly gripped his wrist for support.

“- Looking so pretty when I’m the one fucking you… Feels good, baby ?

- Ah ! So good Junnie, you feel so good… Love it, love you so much.”

Hyeongjun was already too far gone to really acknowledge your words, the combination of your velvety walls squeezing him right in when he thrusted back into you and all the drinks he had making him unable to concentrate on anything else than getting you to cum on his dick again. Eager to bring you to your release, he let his thumb come down to play with your clit once again, your moans elevating, not trying to stay quiet anymore.

As soon as he felt you clench down harder around him and that your nails were digging into the skin of his forearm, Hyeongjun let go too, spurred on by your sensual moans and the way he could feel your throat vibrating against his hand. It all became too much when you felt him paint your walls white, overstimulation kicking in but it was too good to ask him to stop. When Hyeongjun finally freed your neck, you took a big, deep breath, the imprints that his rings left on your skin already visible on the sides. He softly brushed his fingers against the marks, feeling both bad for potentially hurting you and proud that he had claimed you in some way.

“- Want to come back to mine ?”

Hyeongjun didn’t hesitate to say yes, helping you get off of the counter and put your clothes back on, his lips back on yours before you could even leave the kitchen. And he felt on top of the world passing by the man you had hit on later, his hand in yours, and his cum deep inside of your cunt, probably dripping inside of your pretty lacy panties right now. You were all his, at least for the night.

“- Morning Junnie.”

Hyeongjun turned around, a pan filled with some freshly cooked pancakes still in his hands. He placed it down on the counter before looking up at you. And his heart surely skipped a beat at seeing you in the same graphic shirt he had worn last night, your thighs peeking out from underneath the piece of clothing and indicating that you were probably only wearing your panties and no shorts. Hyeongjun gulped down as he tried to not let some of the memories of last night disrupt his thoughts again.

“- Morning pretty. Did you sleep well ?”

You tiptoed to him, landing a sweet kiss on his cheek before you sat down at one of the stools of the counter to eat the breakfast he prepared for the two of you - though that was an excuse to keep his mind busy from thinking about you and the words you had said.

“- Very, though I don’t really remember how we got here without getting lost. Thank you for all of that, you didn’t have to.

- Yeah, we were pretty drunk. And don’t worry about that, I figured that you would probably be hungry. There’s some painkillers here too if your head hurts.

- You’re an angel Hyeongjun, thank you !”

You smiled up at him despite your headache getting stronger by the seconds. You gladly took the pills and then got to your delicious breakfast, recounting to your best friend every funny or random thing that happened yesterday. But you carefully avoided the only thing that needed to be addressed, carefully avoided the subject. You were too anxious to tell him anything in case he had forgotten it had happened because of the alcohol, because you didn’t even know if you really told him you loved him or if it was only a dream.

And Hyeongjun was too nervous to ask you anything about it either. Maybe the reason you weren’t talking about it was because you were regretting it, maybe it happened only because you were really drunk and that you would’ve never done it in your right state of mind. Either way, Hyeongjun didn’t want to know, he just wanted to believe that everything was true for a few moments, even if it hurt to know that nothing you had said was meaningful.

“- I’m gonna go, the boys are practicing this afternoon and I want to take a shower and take a nap before going.

- Yeah, of course. Thank you again for the breakfast, and for watching over me.

- You know I’ll always be right here, Y/N.”

You nodded and closed your eyes as Hyeongjun bent down to kiss your forehead. It was too intimate for two best friends, but it won’t make such a difference with what you had done before. So you simply let him, and you watched him go away with a heavy heart. Maybe that in the end, you regretted what happened a little - it would be so much harder to forget about him now, to try and ignore your feelings when you knew how it felt to be loved by him, to wake up to him cooking in your kitchen. You took a deep breath, only to be met with the scent of him as you were still wearing his shirt, and it made it all hurt even more. The fact that Hyeongjun didn’t even try to mention what happened the other night, that he didn’t even try to know if you said the truth, all of that was enough for you to understand that he didn’t feel the same. Of course he didn’t feel the same.

Your theory seemed to be confirmed by the fact that Hyeongjun rarely answered to your texts anymore. It pained you to see him slowly slipping through your fingers, your friendship breaking apart piece by piece only because you were unable to control yourself. You were the only one to blame for everything that happened - you told him he was pretty and kissed him first. Hyeongjun probably just wanted to have a good time, and here you were, dreaming of more, dreaming of being his girlfriend when you knew it would stay what it was ; a dream.

You looked at your phone one more time, desperately waiting for an answer to your offer to have a movie night at yours tonight. But Hyeongjun stayed silent this time too, the amount of messages he had never answered piling up and surely making you look a bit pathetic. Still, you decided to go buy some things for tonight - he was not going to ruin your plans. So you grabbed your headphones and put on your shoes to go to the grocery store down your street. You took everything that seemed sugary and unhealthy enough to drown your sorrow, not resisting the urge to take home a bag of Hyeongjun’s favorite chips.

The music playing in your headphones was joyful, hoping that it would cheer you up a little. You were going to watch your favorite film too for the hundredth time, even if you knew it by heart now, because you just needed some comfortings things to push back all these feelings that weighed on your heart. But as you stepped out of the elevator, you almost jumped out of fear when you saw Hyeongjun waiting for you at the door. He seemed tired, his eyebags way more bigger than usual and his normally soft hair were all messy. His gaze crossed yours and for a moment, it felt like time stopped. You slid your headphones off, the music still quietly playing as a background noise as you slowly got closer to the door.

“- What are you doing here ?”

Your tone was harsher than you wanted it to be, but the raw emotions of your voice couldn’t be hidden. You both knew that the movie night was not the real reason Hyeongjun was here, he could’ve just ignored you or said yes, he would’ve never come directly to your place without warning you if it wasn’t urgent. But seeing how disheveled he was and how he obviously didn’t pay much attention to the way he was dressed, it seemed like his decision had been impulsive and not so well thought.

“- I… “

It was painful to hear his voice cracking on a single word, and even more to see his eyes well up with tears. You tried to swallow the knot forming in your throat, tried to get over the bad feeling you had, tried to not think about how this seemed like a goodbye - a forever one.

“- If you have nothing to say, then I’m going. I’ve got things to do.”

It was a lie, and you both knew it. But you had to find a way out of this, a way out of this whole situation, a way out of the end of your friendship. Even if it stayed like that - you sending texts that he never replied to - you didn’t want that to be the end. You walked past him, almost reaching for the door when Hyeongjun grabbed your arm, the contact of his skin against yours felt like fireworks exploding everywhere, breath knocked out of your lungs for a few seconds. You turned around, facing him and really looking at him for the first time since you found him at your doorstep.

“- I think we should keep our distance for a while.”

You thought you were ready to hear it, thought you had repeated the scenario in your head enough times to not feel anything when he would finally say it out loud. But it still hurt, cutting down in places only he had found his way to. And you could do nothing about it because it was all your fault.

“- It’s… I understand Hyeongjun. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable with all I said and did, it wasn’t my intention at all.

- I know.”

You dived in his eyes once again, and this time, you stayed like that for a long time, or maybe not. You didn’t know. But his gaze made butterflies come alive in your stomach, only to kill them the next second because of the sad smile stretching out his lips.

“- Can we still be friends ? I really don’t want to lose you…”

Your voice was definitely quivering, your eyes glossier than usual. And Hyeongjun could see it, could feel it. It was hard for him to do that. Hurting you was never what he wanted, but he couldn’t go on like that, couldn’t sleep with you as if he felt nothing more. It was too much. Right now, he felt miserable, he felt like he was doing a mistake even if it was to protect himself, it still felt wrong. Because he loved you, because he had always loved you.

“- I never wanted to be your friend in the first place, but you never saw that. It’s too late now…”

Slowly, his words made their way into your mind. Slowly, your eyes grew wider. Slowly, you realized what he meant. Hyeongjun thought he would feel better after having told you this, but no. No. All it did was make him regret never trying to hit on you when he had first met you, all it did was making him regret not listening to Jiseok’s advice and not trying to ask you out on a date before he got categorized as your best friend. He could’ve done so much better, and now he not only broke his own heart but also yours because he was an idiot.

“- You’re an idiot.”

At least, you were agreeing with him on this, and Hyeongjun was ready to express his approval when you continued.

“- You’re an idiot if you think there wasn’t any meaning behind everything that we did. I actually wanted to ask you out when Gunil introduced us, but he told me that it was better if I approached you slowly. And after that, it was always so platonic between us, I never thought you would be interested in me…”

Hyeongjun took a step closer, tears filling up his eyes again, but this time, he didn’t stop them from rolling down his cheeks.

“- How could I not be interested in you ? I don’t think you realize how bright you’re shining, Y/N. You’re amazing, talented, fantastic. You make everyone and everything better. You made me a better person, you’ve always been here for me, you’re the most important person in my life. And I know I’m not the best at showing it, but god, I love you so much that sometimes it hurts.

- I love you too Junnie, I love you so much…”

When Hyeongjun cupped your face in between his hands, swiping his thumbs across your cheeks to wipe off the tears, your smile brought one to his face too.

“- We’re both idiots.”

You giggled and Hyeongjun felt like colors were brighter, like he could hear sounds clearer. He didn’t lie when he said that you made everything better, because for him you really did. You were smiling so much that when he leaned down to kiss your lips, it was almost impossible, the two of you chuckling like lovesick fools. And now, you could say that you were.

“- I really love you.”

If you weren’t still standing in the hallway of your building, Hyeongjun could’ve asked you to repeat the words again and again, until he was sick of it. But instead, he kissed you again.

“- So what about this movie night ? Is the offer still on the table ?

- More than ever.”

You were still smiling as you unlocked the door of your apartment, and you were still smiling when you settled on the couch with him, and you were still smiling when Hyeongjun’s arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you towards him so you could cuddle while watching the film. Though, it quickly only served as background noise when you started kissing his neck up and down. Hyeongjun really wanted to stay focused, he really wanted to not mess up your first date, if it could be considered a date. But his eyes fluttered shut against his will, his whole body relaxing against the couch.

“- Y/N…

- Want me to stop ?

- No.”

You chuckled at how breathless he already seemed, but you couldn’t blame him - if he sneaked his hand in your panties right now, he would be met with a sticky mess. You pushed back the blanket covering your legs, allowing you to straddle Hyeongjun’s lap. You made yourself comfortable before going back to his neck, this time adding your tongue to the mix. The thought of him being finally yours was driving you crazy, and you wanted to claim him in some ways, show off to the world that he was your boyfriend and no one else’s. The moan he let out when you sucked the first mark right under his jaw made you want to give him the world, your hips rolling against his uncontrollably. His hands flew to your hips, helping you move against him as you actively covered his whole neck in hickeys and bite marks, relishing in the noises he made.

“- You’re so fucking pretty like this… All mine.”

Hyeongjun didn’t know if it was your nails gently grazing against his marked skin or your words that made him shiver and sent a new wave of arousal coursing through his veins, but either way, he liked it, liked it so much.

“- Please, let me make it up to you pretty. Let me spoil you.”

Actually, he was just craving to taste you, had been since the first time you kissed him. But the other part was true too - he wanted to please you so badly, show you how good he could be for you. You quickly nodded, letting Hyeongjun get down on his knees as you sat in his place on the couch. You let him part your legs and strip you off of your shorts and underwear all at once. You let him roam around the plush skin of your thighs and take a hold of your waist once again, pulling you closer to the edge of the couch, closer to his face.

“- So gorgeous, you’re perfect.”

Heat rose to your cheeks with the way he was intensely staring at your glistening folds. But soon enough, the shame was gone when Hyeongjun buried his head in between your thighs, tongue circling your clit skillfully. He was going to be the death of you for sure, but you weren’t mad about it. As he licked at your folds like a starved man, you took a hold of his hair, slightly tugging on it to ground yourself in reality. Hyeongjun moaned lowly against your pussy, the vibration feeling way too good for you not to let out a sound, for you not to praise him.

“- Taste so good, I could eat you for hours.

- You’re so good Junnie, I’m feeling so good…”

He hummed against you, sending another thrill of arousal through your body and you threw your head back when you felt his tongue pushing past your walls, his nose repeatedly bumping against your bundle of nerves. You couldn’t help your thighs from trembling and closing around his head when you felt your orgasm approaching, but Hyeongjun didn’t do anything about it because he could die happy being smothered by your legs, his noises increasing along with yours.

“- I’m gonna cum, oh my god ! I’m cumming !”

You cried out his name when the knot in your stomach finally snapped, your whole body shaking as Hyeongjun did his best to hold you down and still lick you clean, prolonging your climax for as long as possible before you started squirming away from him out of overstimulation. The faint smirk on his face as he got up to kiss you, his chin and lips still covered in your juices was too hot for you to ignore. Your tongues danced together, his hands slipping under your tank top to squeeze your breast while yours slid under the hem of his oversized shirt to feel up his waist. And it all felt so good, so messy, so intimate, so passionate. You never wanted him to stop. Unfortunately, you still had to breathe, forcing you to separate from his mouth. Though you took it as a chance to get rid of your top, Hyeongjun followed along and threw his shirt away too. Your hands immediately went down to his pants, helping him get out of his jeans and underwear, discarding the pieces of clothing on the floor.

“- I need you so bad…

- Need you too pretty, you’re making me go crazy.”

You felt a shiver run down your spine as Hyeongjun pushed you to lay down on the couch, the way he was praising you was definitely doing things to you. However, you didn’t think this through too much, busy grinding against him, busy making out with him.

“- Please, Junnie…”

He never thought he would hear you beg like that for him one day, and Hyeongjun felt like the luckiest man alive when he lined up with your cunt and slowly buried himself inside of your cunt. His head immediately dropped to the crook of your neck, trying to hide his loud moan as he bottomed out.

“- You feel so good, Y/N, so wet… S-Shit… Never felt this good…”

His words were muffled by the way he was pressed against the side of your throat, but they still made another wave of arousal crash over you, rolling your hips against his to entice him into moving, a whine falling out of your lips as you did so.

“- Please, move…”

The loud moan you let out mingled with Hyeongjun's sounds when he experimentally drove his cock into you. And soon enough, he wasn’t able to control the rhythm of his thrusts anymore, one hand gripping your waist as the other was holding your leg up in the air, allowing him to move freely and to hit your sweet spot every time. Your voices were laced in a sinful symphony as Hyeongjun pressed his whole body into yours, a thin layer of sweat covering the both of you.

“- I’m not gonna last, pretty… Are you close ?

- So close, baby, just need a little more…”

Hyeongjun switched the angle of his hips so that his pelvis faintly brushed against your clit with each one of his thrusts, your whimpers getting more high pitched as he did so. Your nails dug in his shoulders as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, feeling his hot breath against your neck and hearing his moans making you clench around him tighter. It was like your hips had a mind of their own, lifting up to meet Hyeongjun’s thrusts and bringing the both of you to your orgasms. You didn’t even register the fact that you scratched down his back, too lost in the feeling of his cum filling you up. But it only made Hyeongjun’s release even more intense. And the fucked out look on your face as he lifted his head from your neck was just a plus. You slowly got down off your high, still trying to catch your breath, as he pushed away some strands of your that stuck to your face.

“- You’re so beautiful.”

The sincerity pouring from his words made your heart flutter, and a grin took over your features as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to keep him close to you a little longer. Later that night, when you were all cleaned up and snuggled in his shirt, comfortably laying in your bed, a thought suddenly came into your mind.

“- Were you really going to let me go like that ?”

Hyeongjun looked at you for a moment, his fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on the exposed skin of your arms.

“- I don’t know. I just felt trapped, and hurt. But it doesn’t matter now. You’re right here with me, and that’s enough for me.

- I really love you Hyeongjun, I hope you know that.”

He smiled, that beautiful smile of his that inevitably brought a smile to your own lips. The sweet kiss he gave you before pulling you closer to him made your heart skip a beat again, and you didn’t know if you would get used to it one day - the way Hyeongjun was able to make you blush with only a few words.

“- I love you too, you’re all I ever wanted.”

And that was perfect since he was all you ever wanted too.

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

-> moon dividers by @samspenandsword

#xdinary heroes x reader #xdh x reader #xdinary heroes smut #xdh smut #xdinary heroes fic #xdh fic #junhan x reader #han hyeongjun x reader #hyeongjun x reader #junhan smut #han hyeongjun smut #hyeongjun smut #eli: right here

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yoonia · 2 years ago

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what you wanted (m) | b.i

➬ Summary | You have no idea how you ended up here. It all started with an innocent date, which escalates into something more. Something that is not quite so innocent. But he gladly follows your lead, always ready to give you everything that he could offer, knowing that—deep down—this is exactly what you wanted all along.

➬ Title | What You Wanted

➬ Pairing | Kim Hanbin (B.I.) x reader

➬ Genre | Smut, PWP(?), Virgin!reader, Boyfriend!Hanbin, First Time

➬ Word count | 10,060 words

➬ Ratings & Warning | 18+/Mature; a bit of a plot if you squint, explicit sexual scenes, including: soft dom Hanbin, shy reader, dirty talk, swearing, stripping, kissing (lots of them) and making out, dry humping, groping, grinding, manhandling (kind of lol), finger sucking, fingering (female recipient)/finger fucking, hand job, long foreplay, breast play, nipple play, biting, pinching, first time sex, praise/praise kink, protected sex, minor aftercare, post-coital cuddling

➬ Main Masterlist | Navigation Page | Mailbox

The bed dips as he lies down beside you.

His shirt is gone, leaving his chest bare.

Getting a good sight of him from up close, your body flushes in response. The warmth running in your blood escalates further when you look down, noticing his unzipped pants with the waistband of his boxers peeking from beneath.

“Is this okay?” he gently asks you, his voice comes out in a whisper, but you can still feel his words caressing your skin.

Your body becomes tense at this point, filled with anticipation. Your nerves seem to take up the space in your mind, and they are beginning to spark like haywire when you feel Hanbin shifting closer. You can feel his warmth touching your skin even before he makes any move to touch you with his fingers. It makes you feel more hyperaware of his presence and, for the first time tonight, your self-consciousness takes the front seat.

Unable to look up at his face, you can only respond to his question with a short nod. This only draws a chuckle out of him, and he leans in, his fingers are gentle as he tips your chin up until your eyes can meet his glowing ones.

“Don’t be shy, baby. We can take this slow.” His words are reassuring, but the way he says it, with his face and smile soft yet his voice comes out almost growling with need, it drives your senses to start running wild. At the same time, it slowly strengthens your confidence to be able to ask for more when he asks again, “Tell me what you want. I’ll only do what you want me to. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so—”

“I…I want to have my first time…with you,” you whisper softly, your voice almost fading into the room, yet it also sounds a bit too loud for your own ears. Your heart starts pounding in your chest as you look up to see his reaction when you repeat yourself again, “I want to have sex with you. I want…”

Pressing a finger on your lips, Hanbin stops you from talking. “Are you sure?” he asks you. “You won’t regret it?”

It feels reassuring when he does something like this, when he shows you how much he truly cares about your feelings. You love how he keeps making sure that you know exactly what you are asking of him. But you know exactly what you want, though you can understand why he keeps worrying about it when this feels so sudden. Neither of you had expected that this would be the way you are ending the night with him. It isn’t like you had planned this all along when you first invited him into your apartment for a movie night and an extended stay-in date after coming back from your dinner date. It was an offer that you would always make after going out on a date with him, and one that he would gladly agree to whenever he could spend more time with you.

On those other nights, Hanbin would be the one to initiate it when things get heated up by the end of the night. He would be the one to make the move, to start things through his teasing words or hot kisses until he leaves your blood boiling hot with desire and need. On those intimate nights, he would always stop before things would escalate into something more, knowing that you weren’t ready for it.

But just like your invitation and your initial request, you had been the one to initiate everything this time, starting from the moment when you climbed onto his lap sometime in the middle of the movie and started grinding against his crotch until you were both high with desire. And it had been you who pulled his hands away from your breasts, snapping him out of the daze that he found himself in while he was groping at your soft flesh, admiring them while impatiently crumpling your top in the process. You never had any intention of stopping him when you grabbed his hands, however, when you suddenly had something else in mind.

“My bed. Now,” you almost begged him, and never once you had seen him moving so quickly in response. He said nothing as he lifted you up in his arms with your body wrapped around his and carried you all the way to your bed. As if your words had sent him into a trance-like state, and he stayed in it until the moment he laid you down on your bed.

Picturing what happened earlier have you smiling to yourself. “No, I know I won’t regret it. I know what I want,” you answer him with a smile. Despite never planning this to happen tonight, you have actually given this a lot of thinking, and it has been plaguing your thoughts since the day you decided you wanted to do this. With him.

“I know I asked to wait and take things slow, but…I’m ready. I want this.”

You swallow hard and muster the courage to reach up to him, to graze his bare chest with your fingers. His skin feels warm under your touch. Slightly warmer than he usually would. Moving your fingers up to his shoulders, tracing along the lines of ink marked on his skin, you feel his heartbeat pumping steadily in his chest. It grows even faster as you keep running your fingers on his chest, letting you know that he welcomes your touch just as much as you do his.

Hanbin keeps his eyes on your face as he takes your hand, bringing it up to his lips. Dragging a kiss on each of your knuckles, he draws a shudder running through your body. “I’ve been waiting for this moment—” he says between each kiss, his eyes growing darker with passion and lust with each passing second and with each kiss he gives you before adding, “—for a long time.”

As if his words aren’t enough to draw a reaction from you, he takes the tip of your finger between his lips, sucking it gently until he can hear the sound of your gasp. The corners of his lips curl up to a smile, and he slowly leans back, giving you some space. Though he doesn’t give you much time to relax when he whispers, “Take off your top for me. Let me see you.”

Sitting up on the bed, your hands are trembling as you slowly pull up the hem of your top. You can feel his eyes on you, watching closely as you carefully, tentatively, peel your top off your skin. Even with your bra still on, your skin grows hot and you feel naked and exposed already once the shirt is gone, tossed away to the side of the bed. Licking your lips, you turn to Hanbin again, catching his eyes flickering down your body. His deep gaze trails down from your chest, lingering briefly on your cleavage before going down to the exposed skin on your torso, then stops at your flimsy shorts.

Before he can say anything, you lift your hips and pull down the offensive item of clothing by the waistband, peeling it down your legs. A faint sound of moan is heard, coming from none other than your boyfriend, and it makes your skin grow tight and hot knowing that you are drawing this kind of reaction from him. You lie back down once you are done, feeling even more exposed under his gaze as he leans closer, hovering right above you.

“Beautiful,” he groans, making your chest expand under his praise. You are surprised to find how good it makes you feel to hear his compliments, and how it draws the heat from your chest down to your pulsing core. But you welcome the delightful feeling that suddenly comes rushing through you. It happens merely for a brief moment, yet you immediately crave to experience it again the moment it fades away.

Hanbin takes this moment to push himself off of the bed and start undoing his pants. His action mesmerises you, drawing you speechless until he returns to your side and snaps you out of it with a whisper, “Come here, let me take a good look at you.”

You look up at him, wondering what he meant by it. But then Hanbin gently wraps his arm around your waist and carefully brings you closer to him.

You react with a squeal, but easily melt into him when he puts his hands on you. He leans over you and starts kissing your cheek, slowly moving down to your neck after. His mouth feels so good on your skin, his warm breath fanning over your delicate neck as he continues trailing kisses around your pulse. He kisses his way down to your shoulder, before going back up to trace his lips on your chin. Your breathing starts growing quicker, and sparks of electricity begin running down your body.

While he is busy making you grow wild with his kisses, he starts rubbing his hands up and down your arms. He does it in a soothing manner to stop you from growing tense beneath him, but that only lasts until his hands make their way to your covered chest.

His hand moves slower once he reaches your thin bra. His fingers are tickling over your flesh, skirting around the curve of your breast. Your chest arches into his hand when his thumb comes up brushing across the lace cups of your bra, starting with an innocent touch that feels so delicate, before it shifts when he grows bolder with his touch and presses down on your covered nipple. Your body shudders, soft gasps escaping your lips when his kisses run lower, grazing across your heaving chest.

He stops just before reaching the top of your mounds and glances up at your face. You can see his eyes darkening right before he plants his lips right over your covered nipple, brushing a kiss from over the lace, the fabric barely does its job to shield you from his hot kisses when heat shoots right through you upon contact. Distracted by the work of his mouth and his alluring gaze, you don’t notice his hand making its way down, not until his fingers graze across the waistband of your panties and he begins toying with it. His touch moves lower, and he doesn’t stop until his fingers find the wet spot that has appeared right at the center.

“Oh, God—” you hiss out loud when he presses down it, consciously giving your folds enough pressure that you can feel his touch reaching deep within you. The sensation peaks when he does it together with the work of his mouth, as he nips and nibbles on your puckered nipple through the thin bra still covering your skin, drawing a few cries out of you.

It feels so good. The sensation fills your brain. But just when you are starting to give in to the pleasure he is giving you, Hanbin stops and pulls away, putting everything to a halt when he looks up at you.

“Can I take these off?” he whispers, but his words take a bit of time to register into your slow mind. The moment you realise what he is asking, you gently push him away and sit up.

“Let me do it,” you breathlessly say to him. Your body is still quivering, but you still manage to peel your undergarments off of your body before coming back down on the bed. But just then, as you are lying down with him almost hovering above you, his perusal gaze running down your naked skin, your self-consciousness returns. Your instinct kicks in, and you immediately cross your arms over your chest and press your legs together to cover yourself as much as you still can.

“I’m sorry…I don’t know why I’m feeling so nervous, and—”

“Sshh—Don’t be. It’s okay,” Hanbin says, smiling patiently. “I’m nervous about all of this too. It feels like a huge honour that you are asking me to do this with you.”

With his whisper, Hanbin leans in to capture your lips in his. He starts with a slow kiss, yet it feels passionate and delicate at the same time. You part your lips when you feel his tongue slipping out, allowing him to deepen the kiss, taking away your apprehension when the kiss grows heated and your mouths seem to melt with each other into one. His hand reaches down, tenderly grazing on your thigh before he pulls on it, guiding you to part your legs for him. Slipping his other arm around your waist to hold you up against him, the hand that has been gripping at your thigh moves upward, capturing your wrist, and he gently begins pulling your arm away from your chest.

“I can’t look at you if you keep covering yourself,” he whispers against your lips. Pulling back, he brings your hand to his face, his lips pressing down on your palm, then to your wrist, leaving you completely transfixed to his motions and the mix of sensations which he keeps bringing onto your body.

He slides his other arm away from your body and gently captures your other wrist, pulling it away from your body before he repeats his action, kissing your palm and wrist the same way he did the other. His action is so captivating that it takes a while for your slow mind to notice what he is doing. It isn’t until he gently pulls your arms further away from your chest, once your bare chest is exposed to the chill breeze flowing in your bedroom, when you finally realise what he has been doing to you.

“These arms—” he whispers hoarsely as he lowers your arms to your sides, “—stay here. You are free to grab the sheets or the pillows whenever you need to.” Rubbing your forearms, he sets down your hands to rest on the sheets. The gentle way he is tending to you soothes your nerves, only for him to spike them up again when he smirks at you and says, “Better yet, just grab onto me. I wouldn’t mind having your hands all over me.”

The way he says those words draws an audible gasp out of you, while your reaction brings a smug grin to his face. He leans away, pushing himself up to get a better look at you now that you are no longer covering yourself.

Under his gaze, you feel completely exposed—bare to his eyes not only for your naked skin, but also your bare soul. And the feeling intensifies when his dilated eyes are drawn to your naked breasts. As if mesmerised, Hanbin runs his gaze down your body, taking everything in with rapt attention. He waits until you are no longer tense before he finally releases your wrists.

His gentle hands move down your body, finding your waist first, then proceed to trace his way down. Past your hips, he continues to go down, then carefully slips his palms to cup the underside of your thighs, bringing your legs apart. He does it ever so gently, not rushing while trying to make sure that you are still comfortable with the way he is handling your body. He stops just enough to give him space to shift on the bed and take his position between your legs. Once he is settled nicely over your body, he then runs his hands upward, tracing the inner side of your thighs with a delicate touch that still sends your skin prickling with need.

Your body tenses for a brief moment when his fingers reach up between your legs, and you hold your breath, anticipating his touch right at your tender core. Yet, he simply moves his hand away, reaching around it to return to your waist. You feel yourself relaxing from it, although there is still a hint of disappointment lingering in your chest for not feeling his touch. But that feeling quickly fades the moment you realise that he is still tracing his fingers up your torso, carrying on his journey to make his way up your body while feeling your soft curves with his palms.

He doesn’t stop until the tips of his fingers gently graze across the underside of your breasts. The touch draws an immediate gasp from you, and it surprises you when your body jolts to the touch of his fingers. Never once have you experienced this kind of sensation. It feels different compared to all those times you were touching your own breasts while trying to picture how it would feel to have someone embracing you there. Not even when he would innocently brush his fingers over them through your clothes while you were making out with him, teasing you about it without actually making it happen. And now he is making all of your fantasies come true, and the sensation is way beyond what you had ever imagined, as his hands and fingers set alight the delectable tingles which bring all your senses awake. Your back arches when he continues further, when he tenderly cups your soft flesh with his palms, feeling their weight on them.

Despite the confidence and reassurance that he has been showing you, you keep sensing all the subtle hints that he might just be as nervous as you are at this moment, allowing you to believe his words when you can feel them resonating from him. You could feel it from the first touch, when you felt him trembling, faint shudders coming out of his fingers which faded merely moments after he laid them on your skin. And now, you can feel it again, when he stalls just for a second before he begins kneading, giving tender massages on your soft mounds.

His palms and fingers move around your breasts, working on your body by giving you a gentle caress. Hanbin keeps his eyes on your face the entire time he is doing this. He keeps actively searching for a sign of discomfort, making sure to catch it in case you suddenly want things to stop.

You open your eyes and arch your back once more when his touch becomes bolder, and he takes this as a sign that you are doing okay. Still paying attention to your reactions, he moves one hand to graze the tip of your breast. A shuddering wave rocks through you when he brushes against your nipple. You can feel your nub hardening under his touch, your skin growing tighter, while your blood boils hotter when he continues, repeating the tender movements until you are used to it. He then takes your pebbled nub between his fingers, giving it a few slow strokes and pinching it in between.

Moans after moans keep slipping out of your lips, when each stroke he gives you lights up delightful sparks rushing through your body. Loving how responsive you are, he then moves to the other breast, giving it the same treatment as the previous one until the tip grows just as hard as the other. He keeps rolling his fingers around your hardened nipple, then leans down, capturing the other into his mouth.

“Oh—” you react with a gasp. Hearing this, Hanbin immediately stops and looks at your face.

“—okay, baby?” he asks you and stalls for a moment as he waits until you are giving him the green light to continue. His voice sounds breathless, but it is the way his words seem to fade in and fade out through your head which makes you feel unsure if you had indeed heard him whispering them to you.

You take this time to inhale a deep breath, and give yourself a moment to process this new sensation flowing through your body. It felt maddening when the moment his mouth grazed across your nipple and it felt like you were struck with something hot, rushing through your blood which was flowing down south. And the feeling still lingers even as he pulls away. Your nipple is still slightly wet, allowing you to feel the pulses that appear on the tip from your rushing blood, while his lips remain to hover right above it. So close, but not touching, though feeling his warm breath falling on your sensitive bud make it seem like he still has your nipple captured between his lips.

You try to focus to relax, to brush away your nerves until you are no longer fighting against the rush that is coming to life inside you. Once you are ready, you look at him and nod your head, whispering, “I’m okay,” so that he can continue.

You watch with bleary eyes as he once again takes the tip of your breast into his mouth. He starts with a light suck, kissing it briefly before wrapping his lips around it once again. Then his tongue comes licking, lapping, before he goes back to sucking again. He keeps alternating between each ministration while he maintains giving the other breast similar attention, using his fingers as he keeps rolling and pinching on your nipple, giving you a mix of sensations that keeps running wild through your whole body.

Slowly, the pleasure you are feeling from the work of his mouth, tongue, and hands begin to reach its peak. While your mind is muddled by the overload of emotions, your body seems to gain a mind of its own as it begins to move without you realising it.

Your hand comes up to him as he keeps devouring your breast, fingers sinking between the strands of his hair to keep him attached to you. Underneath his weight, your hips start moving, instinctively matching the rhythm of your pulse that comes in a constant wave from your core. The more you are lost in the pleasure, the harder you are grinding your center against his crotch. The stretchy fabric of his boxer briefs feels rough against your bare pussy, making your whole body tremble each time you rub against him.

Hanbin gives your nub a light bite, and your hips jolt upward, sending your folds brushing just a bit harder against his covered hard-on, drawing a cry out of you when you feel how hard he has become. Even while tending to your needs, Hanbin’s need begins to become more evident when he starts rolling his hips in response, grinding his covered cock against your wet core.

He releases you with a grunt just then, when all the rubbing and brushing are starting to affect his body. With a shy grin on his face, he slips his fingers through the waistband of his briefs and begins pushing them down his hips. His hard shaft springs out, pulling your attention to it. Your eyes seem to be drawn to it that you cannot look away, not paying much attention to him as he pushes the briefs all the way down his legs.

The moment he returns to you, Hanbin is completely bare. His cock twitches under your perusal gaze, while your body seems to throb. It starts from deep within your core, as the thought of him burying himself inside you comes flashing into your mind. Then it rushes upward, swirling inside your chest. It builds up your expectation, and in return, something warm is brewing inside. Something similar to a sense of hunger.

It doesn’t take long for you to recognise this feeling as desire, lust, and you choose not to fight it. The feeling isn’t something new or unfamiliar, yet you have never felt it affecting you so strongly before. Never once has it made you feel so wanton with need before the way it does now. Nothing that had felt so carnal you just feel like you are losing control of your own body just by the sight of him, or by the touch of his hands the moment they return to you.

His eyes glint an amused glow when he seems to notice this change in you, and he continues running his hands down your waist, slowly grazing your hips, and then he moves lower. Cupping his palms on the under curves of your bottom, he gently lifts your hips up, just slightly off the bed with your thighs parting further for him, giving him a clear view of your pulsing center and the wet mess that you have created.

“I wish you could take a look at yourself,” he hums as his penetrating gaze lingers on the area between your legs. The way he is staring at you feels so intense that you could almost feel it, like he is touching you without his hands or fingers, and your pussy pulses in response. “Can you feel it? You’ve grown wet down here. I bet you’d feel hot too if I touch you now. You even stained my briefs, and I’m usually the one staining them whenever you rubbed against me,” he murmurs absently while he starts tracing the tips of his fingers up and down your thighs. He stops when he gets too close to your center, yet keeps his fingers hovering just an inch away from the source of your wild throbbing.

“I—yes,” you gasp softly. Even without him touching you directly, the throbbing intensifies further, and you can feel something cold on your skin when you try to move your hips. “I didn’t realise I was making a mess on you,” you add, as you slowly process his words. Your face immediately burns hot as you recall all the time that you spent with him, all the nights making out either on his couch or on your bed, just like this.

Almost like this.

Before, you would still be able to keep your clothes on. The farthest you had ever come was when he pulled you onto his lap, the first time he introduced you to the pleasure of an orgasm with his sinful hands gripping the soft flesh of your bottoms while you were grinding wantonly against his covered cock. The memory from that night has been permanently engraved in your mind. You still remember the mind-blowing pleasure erupting from your body, something that had kept you awake on the long, lonely nights that you spent replaying that moment over and over again inside your head. Right now, as you are lying still beneath him, feeling the same desire brewing inside your body, you nearly fail to resist the urge to rock your hips to ease yourself from it.

Your body has silently been begging to feel his touch, to be relieved from this carnal need you are having. It makes you feel—worried. Not completely sure how to process this new feeling taking over you. Your instinct is telling you to fight it until it goes away, while your curiosity is slowly growing stronger, pushing you to give in and let things happen.

As if Hanbin could read through your mind and hear you questioning yourself, he gently caresses your hips, just when you are beginning to grow tense beneath him in your uncertainty. “It’s okay. Take your time. Take a deep breath,” he says, helping you to relax. So you take a moment to take in everything while trying not to panic when the rush comes back in small waves.

Every doubt quickly fades when Hanbin suddenly moves his fingers. A subtle graze comes across your folds, a brief touch that quickly arouses your senses before he takes it away. “Can I touch you here?” he asks as he once again brings his fingers closer to your center, with just the tip of his thumb teasing your folds. Your hips jolt upward. You are surprised to notice how quickly your body reacts to his touch and how sensitive you are feeling with one subtle brush of his finger.

This wouldn’t be the first time he would be touching you there. But it would be the first time for you to be able to feel his touch directly on your skin. Before tonight, you could only imagine how that would feel like. Because on those previous nights, he could only press down on your cunt from over your shorts or panties, creating a wet spot on your undergarments instead of capturing your wetness from its source.

With not a piece of clothing getting in the way this time, yet another part of your fantasy is coming to reality, and your heart beats faster as you anticipate his touch.

“Yes—” you whisper to him, ready to feel his hands on your heat the way you had always wanted. “Touch me, Hanbin.”

Hearing your plea, he no longer holds himself back. With one hand resting on your waist to keep you still, he moves the other closer to your center. He starts by rubbing his fingers on your folds, up and down, back and forth, slowly inching his way to your slit. Looking down, he drags his tongue across his lips slowly, deeply focusing on the task in hand as he gently spreads your folds, exposing your wet pussy and your swollen clit that suddenly throbs under his hungry gaze.

Hanbin gently presses the tip of his finger at your throbbing entrance, drawing a low, keen moan from you. The sound you are making seems foreign even to your own ears. It makes your skin hot, and your face flushes with embarrassment, though it slowly fades when you look at his face and notice how much he seems to enjoy watching and listening to the way you are responding to him.

He licks his lips and presses a bit harder. This time, your body doesn’t tense as much as it did, and you can start feeling the pleasure that his touch is giving you as you feel him dipping in, stopping right the moment he has the first knuckle of his finger in. Your body seems to welcome him, the unfamiliar feeling of your muscles straining to let him in gives you a slight discomfort for a brief moment, though it quickly fades as he continues. He moves his finger in and out of your pussy, and your body reacts with your muscles straining and loosening around his digit, taking time to adjust until you begin to feel a new sensation building up.

“Is this hurting you, baby?” he asks while keeping his eyes on your face, searching for any sign of pain or discomfort. Whatever he sees only makes him seem amused, however, yet he remains patient, waiting until you can find your voice and let him hear your thoughts.

“No, not really. It feels…weird,” you mutter, not completely sure how to explain what you are feeling to him or to describe it with words. You feel no pain nor discomfort, just the unfamiliar sensation building up into a hot, intense rush that keeps on growing the more he continues, going an inch deeper as he strokes his finger back into you.

While you are busy processing the waves rolling up and down your body, Hanbin shifts on the bed a little, and pulls out his finger from your pussy. Before you have the chance to protest, he slides back in, changing the angle just enough to let you feel the rush multiplying into waves of pleasure, growing from small spasms to a series of intense shudders that makes your entire body shake. “Oh, that feels good.”

Hanbin takes your reaction as a cue, and he continues to slide his finger in and out of you, keeping a slow and steady pace until you are finally adjusting to him. Once he senses the change, with your hips slightly lifting to welcome the thrust of his finger and soft moans slipping out of your lips, he pushes his way in, adding another inch to reach deeper. Curling the tip of his finger as he is doing so, he brushes against your sweet spot. The first touch draws a gasping moan out of you, so he knows that he is doing it right. He keeps repeating the motion, over and over, keeping his strokes gentle all the time until you become a quivering mess under the magic that his hand is making. You grow wetter under his touch, as you embrace the pleasure that is slowly rising by rocking your hips, matching his rhythm as you grind your pussy against his hand.

“Hanbin…Hanbin, baby,” you keep chanting his name with a series of gasps and moans slipping in between. You can feel him reaching as deep as he possibly could each time he pushes his way back in, and it is starting to take him a bit longer when he withdraws from you. With each stroke he gives you, the slick sound of his finger going in and out with the help of your arousal starts getting louder and louder, just as it gets easier for him to move.

“Open your eyes, baby. Look at me. Look at what I’m doing to you.”

His voice fades in and out, yet you feel it sinking into your head after a brief moment. Slowly, you open your eyes, finding his face lowered just enough to get closer to you. You didn’t even realise that you had your eyes closed shut, a reaction that you made subconsciously at the height of this new sensation that has yet to show any sign of waning down. Your gaze drifts down, and only then do you finally have a closer look at what is doing to you.

His hand pushing and pulling between your parted legs, his finger going in and out of your pussy, getting more and more wet and slick after disappearing for a brief second. But the one thing that you only start to notice now is the way you are steadily moving with him, your hips rocking into his hand, as if having a mind of its own as you move rhythmically to match the movement of his hand.

“Do you see what I’m doing to you?”

Nodding your head, you reach out to grab a hold on him. Your hands find leverage on his upper arm and shoulder as you continue to rock your body onto his hand, embracing the pleasure that he is giving you.

“Tell me with words. Tell me what’s happening.”

Biting your lips, you try to push down the heat rushing onto your face before you can find the right words. “You are—” you gasp when his finger pushes against a spot inside you that causes your body to tremble. “You are fucking me with your fingers.”

Almost instantly, your face flushes with heat. You rarely ever cursed or said these words, yet it feels so right given to this very moment. As if he wants to reward you for it, Hanbin smiles and leans in to press his lips on your temple. His gentle kiss distracts you from his other hand that reaches down, grabbing gently on your wrist to guide your hand down between your bodies.

“Touch me, baby,” he whispers with a hoarse voice, his chest trembles under your palm while he moves the other all the way down. The tips of your fingers brush against his rigid shaft, drawing a gasp out of your lips when you realise what he wants.

“Okay, baby?” he tentatively asks you, only for you to nod. It brings a smile to his face, and you drift your gaze lower, watching as he helps you wrap your dainty fingers around his girth. He feels warm and sturdy against your skin. A few subtle pulses appear from the length of his cock just as you touch him. You can even feel him twitch under your touch, and as if it is even possible, he seems to grow even harder and bigger between your palm.

“You’re so hard,” you whisper to him before you can stop yourself, causing him to chuckle a little.

“Because you’re touching me,” he whispers back with a groan. Placing his hand above yours, he gently starts guiding you to move your hand, sliding it back and forth on his length to give him a light stroke. “Do it gently. Like this,” he says, and you follow suit, doing just as he is showing you. You feel him twitching in your hand again as you go back and forth, up and down his length, until he quivers a little and a soft groan is drawn out of him. “That’s it. That feels good. Keep on going, baby.”

As you continue stroking him, keeping the pace steady, he gently withdraws his finger out of you. You look down to watch him pull out, and softly sigh as he adds another finger on his way back in. “Oh…oh, God,” you gasp at the feeling of being stretched out further, and at the way your body reacts to the delightful sensation that you are still quite unfamiliar with yet definitely welcome.

The sweet pleasure runs rapidly through you. Some parts of you begin to pulse, pacing at the same rhythm as his touches. Your inner walls are clenching around him each time he draws his fingers inside you, while the tips send your body rocking with a maddening wave of bliss as he curls them to rub against your walls.

Right at the same time you are savouring your pleasure, Hanbin starts giving in to his own. You look up at him as he rocks his hips, thrusting his cock into your hand while you continue stroking him. His eyes are partly closed, while his jaw has grown slack. The sound of his breathing is mixed with a few soft moans. You take in everything, refusing to close your eyes to see what you are doing to him. Knowing that you are the one drawing these reactions out of him helps make you grow more confident.

Strangely enough, your body also grows hotter seeing him like this.

“I want to put my lips—” he says between each stroke he is giving you, pressing hard into your pussy as he breathes out, “—right here.” You gasp as you imagine him crawling down, his lips pressing on your nether lips to give it a kiss, and his tongue—which makes an appearance as he slides it across his lips—would be tasting you, pressing into your slit and moving the same way he is rubbing his thumb across your clit. Your body shakes more intensely, and you instinctively begin to rock your hips harder, faster, hoping that his touch would help snap off the knot that keeps tightening in your core.

“I want to taste you. But I’ll save it up for next time,” he groans softly. “Right now, I want to look at your face when you cum around my fingers.”

And just like that, the tight knot that you have been feeling in your core snaps. With a single thrust of his fingers inside you, a firm press of his thumb on your clit, and you come into a shuddering climax. You cry out his name as it comes through you like a wave, your entire body keeps vibrating with intense pleasure as it strikes you again and again.

Everything feels like such a blur while you are lost in the sea of bliss, that it feels like an eternity lasts while your body is jerking and spasming as you are consumed by the pleasure. Though you can still Hanbin’s presence, as he helps you ride out your high with his fingers moving slower, much slower, before he eventually comes to a halt and gently pulls out of you. His kiss on the delicate skin of your neck draws you back in, helping you to gradually start coming back to the present.

Yet the fog only fades when his grip on your hand tightens. You open your eyes, realising that in the height of your pleasure, you haven’t lost your steady hold on his hard-on. Your hand, the one that wasn’t holding on tightly to his arm, is still wrapped around his cock. The fact that you hadn’t been so lost in your bliss to squeeze around him too hard is beyond you, but you managed, and you instinctively start loosening your hold around him, only for him to stop you from making it happen.

You are unable to because he still has one hand wrapped around yours. And that same hand is still guiding you to move, even if you have been stroking him at an unsteady pace. Gathering your bearing just enough to command your body, you try to control your pace, finding a steady rhythm that would help make him feel the same pleasure as the one he gave you.

And it doesn’t take long for you to get what you want.

You continue to stroke his cock, his breath and his moans growing louder and more rapid once you repeat the ministrations at a steady pace. Not too fast, and definitely not too slow. And you are no longer gripping him too tightly, just enough to make him feel the clamp of your touch keeping a possessive hold around his pulsing cock. You keep stroking until his moans turn to whimpers, until the movement of his hand starts losing its vigour and he starts letting you set up the pace.

Soon, there is a twitch pressing against your palm, a sign that he is close. His hips shudder as it happens, and Hanbin quickly captures your wrist, stopping you from going further. His hot blood continues to pulse under your palm when everything comes to a halt, and Hanbin opens his eyes, smiling at you when he says, “That felt so good I almost came.” He starts chuckling, sighing deeply when he admits, “I don’t want it to end so soon. If I have to cum, I want it to happen while I’m buried deep inside you.”

He pulls your hand away and entwines his fingers with yours as he lowers himself. You can smell his arousal in the air, mixing together with the sweet scent coming from your body. You can feel his rapid heartbeat when his chest comes pressing against yours. Even the trembles that you caused on him are still there when you press one palm over his shoulders, though you can also feel your own trembles when his thigh comes nudging against yours, parting your legs further for him.

He then takes your attention away from everything with one lingering kiss. He kisses you on your lips, your chin, your neck, moving unhurriedly before returning to your lips with more vigour, his kiss grows so intense he completely swallows the sound of your moans.

He kisses you for a moment longer, then pulls away to reach out to the box of condoms on his nightstand. Watching this, your heartbeat begins racing.

It’s happening, you silently wonder as you watch him move.

Hanbin’s hand trembles a little as he rips the box open. The same box that you had bought on an instinct, hours before things had even begun to escalate into this very moment. He returns to you with a piece of the condom between his fingers. His gaze finds yours as he rips it open, and your hand flies up to stop him from pulling it out.

He frowns, suddenly looking doubtful. But that look is gone when you whisper to him, “Let me put it on you. I already told you that I want to learn everything.”

With a sigh of relief, Hanbin allows you to take over. His hand comes down together with yours to guide you through it, and you watch amusedly how his body quivers as you roll it down his length. His words fade into a groan when he feels your fingers on him, as if your action only turns him on even more. Again, this gives you more confidence, enough to get you to run your fingers teasingly along the entirety of his length once you are done.

Once the condom is on, you lie back down, bracing yourself and opening your legs wide for him. Your eyes are wide open as you wait for him to continue. Hanbin leans in, kissing your temple gently while slowly sliding in to take his place right between your legs. The moment he crawls on top of you, a wave of fear washes over you as reality sinks in so suddenly.

He must have seen it, because a warm smile comes to his face and he takes your hand in his. He takes a moment to kiss your knuckles, before brushing a thumb across your cheek. “You have to tell me if this is truly what you want. We can stop now if you think we’re going too far,” he whispers, and you quickly nod your head.

“I do. I still want this,” you breathe out. “I want you. I want to try and do everything with you. I’m not going back down now.”

With a proud smile, Hanbin covers your body with his. His lips return to your skin, finding your lips briefly then down to your neck again, kissing and suckling softly as the throb of his hard shaft is teasing you so mercilessly as it is laid between you, pressing against your mounds. He makes a low, rumbling groan when you subtly rock your hips against him, brushing at his length.

He is almost breathless when he breaks the kiss and pulls away, but the desire in his eyes comes out so strongly that you easily get lost in it, and you nearly miss it when he settles down in his position against your center. He takes his rigid shaft in his hand and presses the tip to your petals. You look down, noticing your glistening folds spreading around his crown, but he makes no move to push forward. With a brush of his thumb across your cheek, Hanbin calls for your attention so he could ask you one last time,

“This is it. Are you ready?”

Overwhelmed with nerves, you can only nod your head to answer. But he isn’t having it and asks again, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, baby. Please, I can’t take it anymore,” you finally answer him with a soft whisper.

In return, Hanbin presses one hand on your hips, holding you down while he reaches down to wrap his cock with his other hand to guide himself to your center. The next thing you feel is a nudge as he aligns himself at the entrance of your pussy, the thick head of his cock pressing in, and your heart starts galloping in your chest. As if he can sense your body growing tense, he looks deep into your eyes and whispers, “I’ll make it so good for you, baby.”

You look up at him as you sigh, giving him a smile. “I know you will.”

He presses the head of his cock against your pussy lips again, giving it more pressure. This time, your body no longer tenses upon contact. He also makes it easier for you to adjust to him by rubbing his cock against your slit, going back and forth with a couple of slow strokes, gathering your arousal while making your body shudder with his steady rocking. Soon, your body relaxes, and the shudders you are experiencing begin to draw soft moans coming out of your lips. And he knows right then that you are ready.

"Here we go, baby,” he says with a soft groan, and pushes the head of his cock into your tight virgin pussy.

“Ah—” you scream out when a sting of pain shoots right through you, causing you to take a sharp inhale of breath.

You had expected that it would hurt. Yet, instead of feeling as if you are being ripped into two the way you had imagined it would, the sting only comes in for a brief moment before it slowly begins to fade along with the pulses from your rushing blood. The pain feels sharp and hot that you can feel it rushing all the way down to your toes, your legs become tense because of it. Your body becomes still, while your mind seems to take a while to take in all this new sensation overwhelming you—the subsiding pain, the spasms building up inside you that are pressing around him, his presence that makes you feel so full.

Hanbin doesn’t move, giving you time to adjust to him while he waits to make sure that you are no longer in pain. He leans down and starts kissing the column of your throat, the side of your neck, pressing his lips against your pulse to help you relax. You can feel the pulses between your legs shift from pain into pleasure, your muscles beginning to welcome him instead of fighting his presence, and you begin to slightly lift your hips, rocking in small increments as your silent plea for him to start moving.

This time, his body reacts first. He quivers on top of you and subtly gasps, but he is quick to gather himself and pulls away. You open your eyes, looking up to his face to see the look of love and adoration coming out of his eyes. It warms your heart so much that it adds to the sensation when he slowly begins to move. He pushes inside a little more, gently stretching you out until he feels your muscles growing too tight for him to continue and pulls back, just enough for him to leave the head of his cock inside you.

While you dread the thought of him pulling out of you, the delightful feeling of his girth sliding and pressing against your pussy walls is distracting you enough to stop you from protesting, and so does the sight of his chest and arms flexing as he moves above you. Hanbin seems to be affected by the pulses enveloping him as well, when he moves with a low, deep groan coming out of his lips. He waits for another pulse to subside and pushes his way back in, pushing deeper this time before sliding back out. He repeats it a few more times, moving in small increments until your muscles are no longer clamping around him, allowing him to move much easier.

Soon, he begins thrusting and sliding his hard shaft in and out of you at a steady pace. With each stroke, each deep thrust he gives you, the pleasure comes in waves, rising rapidly just as he begins to push harder.

“Ohhh…fuck!” he curses under his breath, his mouth falling open. In your eyes, he appears like a whole new man overcome with lust as he rocks his hips, pumping his cock inside you faster once he gives in to his desire.

“Oh, Hanbin,” you moan loudly when he hits the right spot. You just cannot help it when your body rocks back to welcome him. The feeling of him filling you up so completely, how he keeps bottoming out at your utmost depth as he thrusts inside you is overwhelming, but you take it all, spreading your legs wider to allow him to move freely over you.

He keeps repeating the motion, delving in deep and spearing you beneath him. Low grunts keep escaping his lips with how much pleasure he is feeling from being buried inside you, while your own voice comes out almost breathless, the silent cries of pleasure you are making fading beneath the constant sounds of skin slapping against skin, the bed creaking beneath your weight, and the force of his lovemaking that keeps rocking you to a new height.

You force yourself to keep your eyes open, taking it all in, making sure not to miss a single moment of your first lovemaking. This moment feels magical, but nothing defeats the beautiful sight of your lover embracing this moment together with you. How his eyes are locked on yours the entire time he is pounding into you, how his soft cries keep escaping between his ragged breath, and how his body moves so fluently, mesmerising you while he is doing all the sinful things to your body.

You can feel him throbbing within you, just as intensely as the throbs that are formed within your pussy walls. There is so much desire written on his face while his cock seems to respond to your body. He gives one hard thrust, and you feel your muscles quivering, the familiar spasms of your impending climax coming to wake.

The tempo of your tryst continues to build up, and you almost believe that you can feel him bulging inside you and growing thicker, stretching your walls further around his width. It feels amazing, completely maddening, even, when the pleasure just keeps rising, and rising, until you feel like you have nowhere else to go from here.

“Hanbin, baby…I’m close—” you whimper to him just when your pussy walls clamp around him, your stomach coiling tightly with the need for release.

“I…so do I, baby. You feel so damn good,” he gasps, nearly growling as he speaks. He forces his head down to press his lips on yours again as he starts to cause your body to shake with his pumping hips and cock. His lips brush against yours in a sweet way while his body burns hot with lust. Then he growls to your ear, whispering in an almost commanding way which immediately sets you off, “Let go for me, baby. Cum around my cock. Come with me.”

He picks up his speed, fucking you harder and faster. A jolt of pleasure shoots straight through you, but it isn’t enough. While he continues to rock his hips, you reach down between your bodies to find the little bud that he was teasing earlier to make you come. The sensitive flesh is still vibrating with need, sparks start going through your entire body the moment you touch yourself.

But Hanbin isn’t having it, refusing to let you please yourself when he wants to be the one to give it to you. He reaches down and pulls your hand away, replacing it with his fingers instead. His thumb comes pressing on your clit, circling it better than you ever could. Your body arches as he touches you so expertly, his thumb gliding over your clit, pinching on it, making you cry out his name in your carnal pleasure.

The rush of your climax grows stronger, and you simply let go of your inhibitions. Immediately your mind goes blank, leaving no room for others but the intense pleasure ripping through your body as you fall into your blinding orgasm. Your climax sends him falling to his own, his face contorting as he embraces his release. He gives you his one final thrust, pushing into you so deep until you are screaming loudly once again when you feel like your whole world is shaken with its force. He holds you there as he makes you take his entire length as it throbs and pumps into you.

“Hanbin!” you cry out again when a smaller spasm of your climax washes through you. You welcome it by grinding against him wildly while being pinned beneath him, and he bucks into you, his cock pulsing against your walls as he spurts every drop of his release into the condom, though you can still feel the heat of it filling your insides.

Silence falls soon after, once everything comes to a halt. There is nothing left but the sounds of your ragged breathing and your pounding heartbeat. A thin layer of sweat appears between your bodies, while you feel like something is pooling underneath, something slipping out of your throbbing cunt.

It seems that the two of you have become a complete mess as you found your climaxes together. Completely sated and drained, neither of you makes any move to let go of the other, still embraced in each other’s arms while his shaft is still buried inside you.

The silence seems to last long, until he finally opens his eyes, his gentle gaze looking back at you when he smiles. Hanbin bends over you, exhaling a deep breath before giving you a slow kiss on your lips.

Keeping you distracted by it, he gently pulls out of you. The sting of pain that was left forgotten during your heated lovemaking makes its return as he slides against it, drawing a shocked gasp from you. But the sting doesn’t last, as the remnants of your climax pulses around him, your pussy still vibrating with the shadows of your pleasure to help you relax.

It takes a while for him to discard the soiled condom, and you make use of the moment of silence to gather your bearings. A touch of a warm cloth appears when he returns, and you open your eyes to see him gently tending to you, cleaning you up before wiping himself clean. You were so distracted with the waning pleasure and pain that you didn’t even notice what he was doing, but it feels so nice to be taken care of the way he is doing it to you, and you enjoy seeing him so focused on it he barely pays attention to you watching him.

Hanbin throws the cloth away once he is done with it and searches through your face upon returning to you, as if he is worried that the regret will begin to sink in. But you reach up to him, pulling him down to you so you can kiss his lips. Sighing into the kiss, Hanbin is overcome with relief, and immediately reciprocates by kissing you deeply, passionately, enough to steal your breath away yet again just when you had just managed to control it.

“Are you feeling okay? Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?” he begins asking you nonstop once the kiss stops, his concern is written all over his face, and you reach up to cup and stroke his cheek.

“I’m fine. I feel so good, actually. So good,” you answer him with a deep sigh, relishing on the final spasms fluttering in your core. “I’m glad I did it with you. You kept your promise on making it good for me. Thank you.”

Hearing this, Hanbin gives you a shy grin, the same grin that would always make you swoon. The wild lustful man that had taken complete control of your body is gone now, replaced by the shy and gentle young man that you have come to love so much.

“No regret, then?”

You shake your head. “None, whatsoever. And you were amazing too.”

His adorable grin widens at your compliment. “No, you were amazing,” he says, kissing the tip of your nose, while you are once again pleased with his praise. A spark of mirth appears in his gaze as he looks at you then, giving you a thrill even before he makes his promise, “And this is just the beginning.”

Your heart flutters. “Promise?”

Hanbin gives you a soft chuckle. “I always keep my word,” he whispers deeply, and you don’t really have to question him twice to know that he is definitely going to keep his word in the near future.

You part your lips to say something else. Yet instead of words, a long yawn is the only thing that you can give him.

“Tired?” he chuckles, while you can only nod to him, your mind and body grow weary as if you had just gotten all of your energy sucked out of you. “That’s fine. We’ll talk in the morning, okay?”

As he takes you in his arms, your eyes flutter shut, and you sigh heavily as you take it all in. Feeling sated, you fall deeper into the dreamlike state you have been in. You breathe in the scent of sex mingling in the air one last time, and allow yourself to be wrapped in his warmth with his hard naked body pressing against you.

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gyuzoh · 7 months ago

Text

“풀어 POUR UP” KIM MINGYU—°

summary: bartender kim mingyu, who you have the undeniable hots for— denies your advances due to your promiscuous reputation as seoul’s newest and upcoming hottest female dj.

therefore you make it a mission to prove your god-sculpted eye candy, wrong.

playlist: pour up (dean), you know (jay park, okasian), 2nd thots (jay park), freak like me (camo), btbt (b.i)

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, smoking/vaping, drugs and sex.

previous or next

chapter one.

your ego was out of this world, you knew you were the shit. your eyes are round and a perfect shade of desert sand brown, lips plump like they were sculpted by aphrodite herself.

the overflowing compliments from others didn’t help the inflation of your ego, you let that shit get to your head. with the way you looked, face, body and soul, why wouldn’t you?

your looks had helped you since the day you first saw light in the hospital room. you were never once rejected, from job interviews to the boys you hit on. which actually weren’t many.

maybe your overconfidence was the reason others had titled you as arrogant, and uptight. rumours followed you everywhere you stepped, from highschool and now to your current job as a dj.

along the lines of being a stuck up bitch, there were always rumours surrounding you stating you were a promiscuous woman.

you weren’t dumb, nor deaf. you knew about the rumours that circulated around you, nor did you ever find the need to deny or accept them.

you’ve heard them all, ‘she only speaks to those who can give her something’, ‘i’ve seen her go home with a different younger man every week,’ and it’s not like they were actually true, so you felt no obligation to feel anything about those rumours other than, nothing.

however this time, you felt something other than nothing. you felt anger, because for the first time in your lifetime you had been denied of something you wanted because of those stupid rumours. and possibly him seeing the little incident that took place last night. kim mingyu.

you knew who spat those dirty lies into his ears, and this time you feel a pang of hatred.

hatred is a strong word, but in this particular moment it’s the one that would describe the feeling you had for mingyu’s little girlfriend.

sure, somi had the right to put a girl who’s hitting on her supposed boyfriend in place, but you absolutely could not take the disrespect being thrown right in your face. the way she inadvertently called you a younger boy loving whore.

you’d never actually had someone spit on your shoes right infront of you, but that’s what it felt like she did.

you release a frustrated sigh, it’s not like there was anything you could actually do about it right this moment.

with the rumbling of your stomach, you lunge out of bed and pull your phone out from your pyjama pants, checking the time.

11:47pm, you hadn’t had dinner yet so you walk out the bedroom and down the hallway to heeseung’s bedroom where music was blasting. knocking on the boys door you scream his name, after four attempts he finally opens the door and asks you what you need.

“i’m going to convenience store for some ramyeon, want anything?” you ask the younger boy, he tells you what he wants and you nod in response, then leave to go satisfy your cravings.

with airpods in your ear blasting jay park, you make your way out of your apartment and down the dimly lit streets of seoul to the nearest convenience store.

the bell rings as you enter the well lit store, you make a bee line straight to the ramyeon aisle, scanning the shelves for the pink packet of buldak carbonara.

finding the pink pack, your arms reach out and you grab four. you walk to the cash register and pull out your phone ready to pay. the bell rings again as someone enters the corner store, you however don’t pay attention as the idea of filling up your empty stomach was more important.

as you lift your phone to pay for the meal, the screen goes black and unresponsive. you press the power button multiple times but to no avail, your phone is, dead. tonight was not your night.

you groan in frustration and reach into your pockets hoping there was any chance of loose change miraculously appearing. no chance.

“sorry, do you have a charger by any chance?” you ask the clerk to which he shakes his head no. tonight was not your night.

just as you’re about to put your ramyeon back, a large hand reaches out and pays for your food.

“i’ll pay for it,” a deep husky voice says.

you turn your head back and notice the incredibly broad shoulders of the brunette boy who stood inches behind you, towering over you. the scent of peaches emitting from his grey sweater filling your nose, making your nose scrunch from the pleasantry.

you turn around and open your mouth to thank your saviour, “thank you so much, like seriously, how can i repay you?”

he smiles at you and lifts his glasses up his nose as it fell slightly, he shakes his head no and tells you not to worry about it. but you do worry about it.

as you’re about to open your mouth again to reply, a voice cuts you off. one that you’ve undoubtedly heard before, your head snaps to their direction and you take in a look of your newly found crush. “wonwoo, we need more milk at home.”

there he stood in all his glory, a black hoodie and loose grey sweats. mingyu. maybe tonight is your night.

mingyu however did not notice you as you were hidden behind the broad shoulders of the man in front of you.

“yeah, just grab any,” the boy named wonwoo responded. he turns to face you again after yelling back to mingyu, he hands you his phone which had instagram open.

confusion must’ve been evident on your face because wonwoo chuckles softly and speaks, “if i ever want you to repay me that five dollars and twenty cents i’ll need a way to contact you, no?”

your mouth opens in an ‘ohhh’ and you nod your head, putting in your instagram handle for the knight in shining armour. you thank wonwoo again and grab the ramyeon packets from the clerks bench and nod to him as you rush outside and back home.

you really wanted an excuse to speak to mingyu, but you felt awkward sparking up a conversation with the beauty due to the argument you had with his little girlfriend. with the nth sigh of the day, you make your way back to your shared apartment to have your noodles.

“who were you talking to?” mingyu asks his roommate. wonwoo shrugs and pulls up your instagram to show his friend.

mingyu does a double take at the phone before his lips curled up in a slight smirk. “she tried to hit on me last night, she’s hell pretty though.”

wonwoo raises his brows at his friend and scrolls through your instagram page, pictures of you and your friends at dinner, promotions for your dj gigs.

“she a dj at your club?” wonwoo asks mingyu, to which mingyu nods his head yes.

mingyu takes a seat at the convenience stores window bench, placing their food down, wonwoo following suit.

“yeah, she asked for my instagram but somi cockblocked me,” mingyu slurps up a chopstick full of the spicy noodles, “i think they got into a fight at the end of the night, some younger girl slapped somi’s cheek.”

wonwoo laughs as he imagines the scene, taking a bite of his own meal.

“you and somi still got a thing going on?” wonwoo asks. mingyu shakes his head no, finishing off his ramyeon with one last slurp, using a napkin to wipe his mouth.

“no, we stopped after we got into university but she keeps telling everyone we’re together so i’m confused on where we stand.”

it’s officially been one week since the incident with somi out front of the nightclub, and six days with your one sided encounter with mingyu at the convenience store.

you were here at the club again, as you’ve been offered a full time gig here. as you walk in through the entrance, the manager seungcheol pulls you aside, starting a conversation with you.

“hey, i heard you had an incident last week with one of my bartenders,” he starts off, you knew where this was going but you didn’t want to let that girl ruin your chances of dj’ing at seoul’s biggest night club, for two reasons.

one being that the gigs you do here pay really good money, and two, you needed any excuse to prove to mingyu you weren’t just some promiscuous girl with plenty of boy toys.

seungcheol continues with his conversation, “i know you’re popular and a lot of our customers here are fans of you, so i’m going to let this slide and you off with a warning just this once.”

a sigh of relief escapes your glossed lips and you smile softly at the bright red haired male who stood opposite you.

“thank you so much, i promise i’ll be on my best behaviour.”

with a bow, you make your way to the dj booth and as you do, you walk past the bar and see the undeniably pretty blondie who called you a whore the previous week.

best behaviour my ass, with her back towards you, you lift up your two hands and flip her the bird before continuing with your walk to the dj deck. satisfied.

jungkook stands there with his headset on, upon seeing you he sends a bunny like smile your way.

the taller tattooed boy pulls you into a side hug to greet you, “i heard you got into a fight with somi last week,” he says.

you groan as you start to unpack your bag, pulling out your headphones and ear plugs. does everyone know your business these days?

“it was barely even a fight,” you explain, shuddering as you remember the incident that took place at this very location last week.

“more like a one sided argument over the hottie bartender mingyu, didn’t even get to throw hands at the disrespect she threw at me.”

he raises his slitted left brow, chuckling at your explanation and your unintended confession. “you eyeing kim mingyu?” he asks.

you nod in agreement, there was no point in hiding your newly found crush, “he’s so hot, but i’m pretty sure he thinks i hit it off with younger boys.”

jungkook pulls off his headset as you connect your usb to the deck, swapping sides with him.

“how so?” the boy questions as he begins to pack up his equipment whilst you mix your songs into his, bopping slightly to the music.

“he walked out into our little argument and heeseung was there with all his friends, plus i bet miss blondie said something to him about me,” you continue to bop to the music and shoo away the random male who came up behind you once again, trying to hand you some unwanted alcohol.

jungkook ‘ahh’s’ in reply, nodding his head in understanding before shrugging his shoulders.

“why don’t you just tell everyone hee’s your brother?”

you shrug, “no one ever asks.”

jungkook couldn’t deny that fact and nodded his head again. the conversation ends there and you focus on your gig, you did promise seungcheol your best behaviour.

your set ends peacefully and you pack up your equipment, swiftfully evading the drunken men making passes at you.

swinging your designer bag around your shoulders, you quickly fix your tight fitting minidress and strut your way to the bar. you only had one goal tonight, and that was to change mingyu’s impression of you.

though you have no idea how you were going to do that.

pushing girls out of the way, muttering soft ‘sorry’s’, you stand right in front at the bar, opposite to mister god sculpted. you wait for him to finish serving the man beside you, and when he finishes, he makes eye contact with you.

“hey,” you say breathlessly, this man had your knees shaking at just one glance, and you loved it. you’ve never felt so intimidated by a man before and it ignited something inside you.

mingyu looks you up and down, taking notice of the pink sparkly gloss on your plump lips, then he looks you in your eyes.

“alize lemonade again?” he asks you, grabbing a glass from the tray beside him.

you nod in agreement and watch him as he pours your drink, his biceps tensing under the pressure of lifting the blue liquor. you could stare for hours if he’d let you.

he places the drink in front of you, and you pull out the free drink card from your bag and place it in his palms, once again grazing your fingers against his for an extra second.

you look up at mingyu and smile, showing off your tooth gems that glimmered from the reflection of the bar lights.

“i still really want your instagram,” you blurt out. you hadn’t even had a sip of your alcohol yet, but for some reason the words just slipped out of your mouth.

mingyu chuckles and tilts his head to the left, “do you just ask anyone for their instagram?”

you shake your head no vigorously as you grab the drink from the bar top and take a sip of it, savouring the sweet flavour. as you’re about to reply to mingyu, a high pitched voice calls out to him, just like deja vu.

mingyu nods at you before walking to the other side of the bar and your eyes follow him, if you had a dollar for everytime you’d been cockblocked by somi— you’d have two dollars. which isn’t a lot, but it’s two times more than you’d wish for.

with a sigh you walk off and sip your drink. thinking about the two made your head hurt, you needed a smoke break.

“what’s with you and interfering when it comes to the cute dj?” mingyu asks the female, to which she responds with a shrug.

“i told you i’d save you the hassle of rejecting her, she’s bad news i told you.”

mingyu rolls his eyes at somi, getting tired of the mind games she’s been playing with him the past couple of years.

mingyu and somi used to have a friends with benefits relationship, but she had called it quits once they reached university because mingyu had confessed he had feelings for her. however, recently his feelings have come to a slow halt, he had been pining over her since highschool and he was getting tired of being led on by a string.

“i don’t know why you care, you’re the one that wanted us to stop in the first place.”

mingyu isn’t able to get a response from somi, as a familiar voice butts into their conversation. mingyu looks towards the bar top and sees heeseung with his arm wrapped around a girl, and it wasn’t you.

“two tequila’s” heeseung says, placing a fifth onto the bench, which mingyu grabs before placing two shot glasses on the bench, then pouring the gold liquor into them.

mingyu wasn’t exactly sure what to think, nor did he know if it was his place to actually say anything due to the fact that you and him weren’t even considered acquainted, but he was rolling with the assumption heeseung really was your boy toy.

“don’t you have a girlfriend?” he questions the younger boy, placing lemons on the rim of the shot glasses, “i don’t think you should be going around with other girls when yours is working right here, no?”

heeseung tilts his head in slight confusion, unsure of the nonsense mingyu was spouting, but heeseung was too tipsy to connect the dots and just annoyed at the fact mingyu was trying to lecture him out of nowhere.

“who are you to assume shit about me?” heeseung asks, downing the tequila and sucking on the lemon. “i don’t even know you.”

you stand outside in the cold, shivering slightly as you pull out a cigarette from your bag, placing the tobacco stick between your lips.

you reach into your bag again for a lighter, only to find it misplaced. “shit, did i leave it at home?” you question yourself, groaning in frustration at your forgetfulness.

as you’re about to turn around to ask the group of men a few feet away if they could lend you their lighter, a hand reaches out and ignites your cigarette— the scent of peaches overpowering the stench of smoke around you.

you glance towards the owner of the black lighter, seeing your saviour from the other night. what was his name? won… wonwoo.

with an inhale, you lift your hand and place the stick between your fingers before exhaling slowly, leaning your back against the wall, your head tilted in the direction of your knight in shining armour.

“hey, thanks again,” you say, pulling out another cigarette from your bag, but before you can hand it to wonwoo he pushes his hand out to deny it.

your brows furrow, “i don’t smoke.” well then why did he have a lighter?

as if your thoughts were written all over your face, wonwoo chuckles and explains himself. “a cousin of mine smokes and never brings his own lighter, you probably know him.”

you respond with an ‘ahhh’ and nod your head, puffing on the cigarette and starting small talk with mr peaches.

“what brings you out tonight?” you ask, curiously.

wonwoo shrugs, “my roommates working, so i thought i’d abuse the free drinks.”

you laugh at his answer, flicking the cigarette onto the concrete and stepping on it with the tip of your high heel. “mingyu’s your roommate?” you ask, though you already knew the answer, thanks to stalking wonwoo’s instagram the previous night.

wonwoo nods his head yes, and responds in a way that makes you shy and caught off guard. “you’re into mingyu, no?”

words were stuttering as they left your lips, trying to find any excuse to cover up the fact that what he said, was indeed factual. wonwoo laughs at your awkwardness, he found you quite adorable with the way your thoughts were so visible on your face.

“he told me that night at the convenience store,” he says. you sigh before finally nodding slowly at his previous question, you plead for him to not let word out, though that would prove to be quite useless as you make it pretty obvious to almost everyone you had the hots for mingyu.

wonwoo laughs again, “okay, then in return for last time, can you dj at my friends party? we’ll pay a good sum.”

and how do you possibly deny a well paid gig, well, you don’t. wonwoo and you exchange details about the event on instagram and then part ways as he’s decided it was home time for him.

you’re stood beside the bar pouring yourself a glass of water where the self serve water is, sipping it slowly as you try your best to sober up. you’ve been handed a few drinks by the fellow dj’s you’ve made acquaintances with while you were in the dj booth passing time.

to your shock, mingyu approaches you first, pulling you to the side, looking around swiftly like as if he was an agent in an action genre film. how cute.

mingyu looks downwards to make eye contact, his hair sticking to his forehead. “look, i’m not saying i care but you should keep your little boyfriend in check,” he says.

your eyebrows furrow at the unexpected lecture, and confusion at the word boyfriend. what boyfriend? you hadn’t had one for the past year, and you didn’t want one unless it was the man standing right in front of you.

“me? keep my boyfriend in check?” you question, the water didn’t exactly help sober you up and with your short temper, you started blurting words you would regret sooner or later.

“i think the one who should keep their partner in check is you,” you shout, loud enough to be heard over the music but not too loud everyone could listen in on your conversation.

“i wouldn’t be needing to keep anybody in check if your missus wasn’t going around calling people whores.” you spat.

“hey, i’m just looking out for you-“ mingyu tries to calm you down, but the liquor was coming up. lifting your hand up, you subtly tell him to talk to your hand, the other one coming up to your mouth.

“i need to fucking puke.”

taglist: @mochami-mochi @gyuwoosbabie

#kim mingyu #jeon wonwoo #mingyu #seventeen #wonwoo #heeseung #enhypen

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