#b.i x reader

[yoonia]

overdrive (m) | B.I

⤑ Summary | As his personal manager who always works closely with him in both his professional activities and private matters, it has become one of your duties to cater to his needs, to always be on his beck and call, even if you have to put aside your own needs to please him.

⤑ Title | Overdrive ⤑ Pairings | Kim Hanbin (B.I) x female reader ⤑ Genre | PWP, Smut, Artist/Musician!B.I, Manager!reader ⤑ Word count | 13,345 words

⤑ Ratings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature; involves mature and explicit sex scenes, including: sexual tension, groping, stripping/nudity, breast play, hand job, oral sex (male receiving/blowjob), deepthroating, unprotected sex, public sex, tour bus sex, accidental voyeurism, rough sex, praise kink, dirty talk, hair pulling (on both), edging, begging, swearing, breast play, nipple play, panty ripping, fingering, clit play, finger licking, cum tasting/eating, cum swallowing, biting, light restraint, implied creampie, panty biting(?), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, aftercare, body worshipping.

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⤑ Story Notes | Written in 2nd person POV (in case you’re new to my writing, I don’t use ‘y/n’ coding as all of my lead characters are considered as OCs). This story is purely a work of fiction, with the usage of artist’s/idol’s names as fictional characters. Any similarities in the usage of names for other characters and circumstances are purely coincidental. | PS. This is only roughly edited, but I hope you’ll still enjoy reading the story. 

It feels like only moments ago this place was thriving with raw energy.

Loud music was blasting through the speakers, while the sounds of fans screaming his name and singing along to his song echoed through the entire venue. Everyone and every part of this place came alive as Hanbin took control of the stage with his mere presence. 

You can almost see him still being there as you look over at the stage, commanding it with his music. You still remember how he kept everyone completely entranced with his alluring voice and hypnotising moves. What he did on stage was pure magic. 

And that magic must have been strong enough that you can still picture him doing his thing on that empty stage. You can still feel his presence even after the lights have been turned off and the crowd has long since left this place to return home. 

Thinking about him like this makes your body burn hot. 

Your heartbeat starts racing the same way it did earlier while you were standing by the side of the stage, watching him move his body to the music. After spending the past year working with him and then joining him on this tour, the reactions he inflicts on you no longer surprise you. 

He captivates you in ways that you can never possibly explain. That you have never experienced before. 

Even once the music has stopped, once his performance has long ended and there are no more of his lively audience around you dancing and screaming his name, you can still feel everything. 

Even without the music, its vibration seems to linger. Still reverberates through the air around you and you can feel it deep within your body. As if the space around you is still humming with his presence even in the silence that remains.

“You’re still here?” a voice calls out, drawing your attention away from the empty stage and out of your thoughts right before they begin to dive into a different, slightly darker place. The road manager comes to your side. The man appears just as exhausted as you are—perhaps even more, knowing what he is required to do before and after these shows—yet he still has a big smile on his face as he greets you. 

“Yeah, I just met up with the promoter, so I figured I’d check in to see how you guys are doing while I’m still around,” you try to make up excuses. Not that he would start questioning further. “How’s everything going?” 

The road manager begins explaining everything—from all the tasks that the road crew had just completed and how they are handing the rest to the local staff. Skipping all the technical details that you have no business with except to report back to Hanbin later. 

Much later.

Once you are done with your actual responsibilities. 

As Hanbin’s personal manager who normally handles his private needs, keeping watch of the road crew dismantling the stage equipment and the stereo system isn’t really a part of your duty in the first place. Especially when there aren’t really that many things they would need to cover in these indoor venues. Getting to know what they are doing isn't even the reason why you still remain here after the show is over. 

You are simply buying time before returning back to him. Which is what you probably should be doing already now that everything else has been taken care of. 

“Everything is packed and ready to go. I think the boys are planning to join the dance crew and grab dinner somewhere nearby, then we’ll be out of here before midnight,” the road manager continues as he walks with you towards the backdoor of the venue. “How about you join us?” 

His offer catches you off guard, yet you quickly refuse. “No, thank you, you guys go ahead. I still have some things to do, so I’ll figure something out later.” 

Just as you are heading towards the exit, you are met with the guys from the dance crew, and Hanbin’s close friends, coming in from the parking lot. Most of them look freshly showered, having found the time to freshen up after getting heated from the show. They all give you a friendly greeting once they notice you there, while Shawn, one of the dancers, steps closer to you to say hi. 

You look over his shoulder to confirm that Hanbin isn’t with them. 

Noticing this, he immediately says to you in a low voice, “Hanbin’s back in the bus. Said he wanted to chill and take it easy for the night. He also said that he’s waiting for you to talk about something.” 

“Ah, I see,” you answer him, trying to stay calm about it when your heart is palpitating at the thought of Hanbin waiting for you to come and see him. 

Alone. 

Which only means one thing—

“We’re heading out to get some food and maybe find some snacks and drinks for the road. Should we get you guys something to eat too?” Shawn kindly offers. You can only smile and nod while trying your best not to take notice of the way he speaks, or the way he is looking at you knowingly. You also ignore the way he seems to be insinuating something else when he speaks about you and Hanbin. 

As if he knows your little secret and the real reason why Hanbin is expecting you. 

“Sure, that would be lovely. Thanks for offering. He’ll probably skip dinner if you don’t get him something to eat.” 

The dancer grins. “I wouldn’t be too worried about it if I were you.” 

Shawn’s cryptic answer stays with you for a while as you walk away from the group. Yet you try not to let it bother you too much as you start making your way to find Hanbin. 

The night breeze welcomes you as you step out of the establishment. Then the silence thickens around you as you walk across the quiet parking lot. You merely take a moment to breathe in the fresh air around you and pay no heed to everything else, having only one destination in mind. But you make sure to remain within the shadows formed under the line of trees on the edge of the parking lot, keeping away from the fans who might still be lingering around or taking their time leaving the place. 

It doesn’t take long before you start seeing them. 

There are some standing beyond the trees in pairs while others are gathering in small groups. Some appear to be lounging around and resting, no doubt trying to come down from the high that they had all gotten from the concert before tracking their way back home or to their hotels. Others seem to linger without any apparent reason. Perhaps nothing other than hoping to get one last glimpse of Hanbin or get noticed by him and his boys if they would just wait around a bit longer. 

You watch them for a brief moment before continuing your walk across the parking lot. Parked at a dark corner at the far end of the parking lot, it feels like it is taking you forever to finally reach the tour bus. As it they had all the intention to tuck it away and keep it from being seen. 

Once the tour bus appears in your line of sight, your heart stutters. 

Under the night sky and kept in the dark, the vehicle looks almost inconspicuous. It doesn’t draw too much attention even with its size and how out of place it seems to be here. 

Yet it draws something else out of your thoughts as you take a good look at it. 

It brings a smile to your face when you remember how it all started, how Hanbin and his team came up with the idea of travelling between places in such a bus throughout this tour. He sold the idea as a way for him to make the most out of it, to embrace every moment that he could get and be able to visit different places in between. He also talked about his wish to live life like a rockstar while he is on the road—something which was quite alarming and made you worry at first, hence why you have been joining him through the whole tour.

So far, it has been rare for you to join him and his tight crew riding on the bus during the overnight drives, except for the short journeys and when you had to work side by side with him between shows. 

Other times, you have been travelling solo whenever you were required to. Only so you could be ahead of the entourage to make sure that all the preparations needed for his show would be in place by the time they arrived. 

Tonight, that would be one of the things that is going to change. 

With one last destination left on the tour, the bus and its passengers will be heading down the road right away instead of remaining in this city for the night. And you are going to be joining them on the bus to get to the next destination instead of travelling solo to the next city. 

But as you walk towards the bus, you can feel, deep down, that the travel arrangement wouldn’t be the only thing that is going to be different tonight. 

The place around you is dark and quiet. So quiet that you can almost hear the sound of your rapid heartbeat echoing around you as you reach for the door. Your breath grows heavy as you open the door and climb your way in. More silence welcomes you, which only thickens further once the door is closed behind you. 

Making your way to the back of the bus, you walk past the seats where everyone would usually waste their time while on the road, loitering and chattering loudly with a ton of noises filling this area. The kitchen and the dining area look partly messy—with bags of potato chips and empty bottles left unattended on the counter, even when the tables are wiped clean—and you wonder just how much mess will be added here later once the boys are back. 

And then you reach the area where the bunk beds are. The sleeping quarters that everyone would use to rest and spend the night in while the bus is driving across cities and between borders. With only individual curtains giving each bunk its privacy, noises from outside can still filter through in the night. 

Thinking about this as you walk through the row of bunk beds only brings you back—way back—to the night which started it all. The same night which gave you the reason to be here, tracing your steps through the bus to look for Hanbin. 

It was after the second show when you tracked down this quiet aisle with the same purpose which led to one small mistake that started an entire ripple effect. You came here that night when Hanbin suddenly disappeared after the show while everyone was ready to grab dinner. You came back to the tour bus to find and fetch him so he could eat, knowing how often he would skip his meal when he was focused deeply in work. 

That night was exactly like tonight, with everyone away and on their way to find the nearest local restaurant, leaving the bunk beds empty. At least, that was what you had expected, believing that Hanbin must have lost track of time when he immediately dove straight back into work the way he often would just to burn out the rest of his energy for the night. 

You were heading further back of the vehicle to find him when a faint sound of a groan caught your attention. It sounded like someone or something was in one of the bunk beds, which drew your curiosity. So you stopped to listen.

A bunch of other noises started to become more noticeable then, and it didn’t take long for you to notice that the sounds came from the last bunk on the row. The one that Hanbin was meant to use during the long trips on the road. You carefully crept closer so you could listen better. To know just what was happening behind the curtain. 

There was a mix of cryptic sounds heard coming out of it—the sounds of sheets ruffling, soft knocking against the side of the bunk, and more soft groans.

You wondered for a moment if it was really Hanbin inside the bunk. But when you started suspecting him to be the source of those sounds, you immediately felt annoyed. Livid, even. When the thought of him doing something as risky as getting it on with some stranger crossed your mind. 

It didn’t help when you remembered about his wish to live like a rockstar. Remembered how he had spoken about it before the tour. The thought further led you into believing that he may have actually done it. That he had invited someone, perhaps a willing fan of his, onto the bus. 

It made you want to strangle him just thinking about him actually doing it. The last thing you needed was for him to get caught in trouble in the middle of the tour. Much less for him to get entangled in malicious rumours if something like this should get out in public. 

As the noises continued, you gently grabbed the hem of the curtain, ready to throw it back and bust him. A myriad of scolding went through your head at that point as you were ready to make him pay for it. 

Another groan was heard and you decided to move once you confirmed that it was really his voice that you heard. Ignoring the way the sound of his pleasured moan sent tingles through your body, you whipped the curtain back to catch him in the act, only to regret it as soon as you saw him. 

Hanbin looked like a deer caught in the headlights when he looked up. His eyes were wide open with fear, yet you could also see a dark need emerging from his gaze which became more visible the moment he realised that it was you. 

But you already had your attention somewhere else to notice it.

Reclining in the tight space within his bunk bed, Hanbin was bare-chested, wearing nothing more but his shorts that had been pushed down under his hips. You just couldn’t resist looking down to see his hand wrapped around his thick cock, fully exposed and standing hard against his stomach.

Once the shock wore off, his truth finally came out. He confided in you about his need to release all the energy that was still boiling within him after the show. That it would have made it hard for him to be able to feel calm in the night unless he had all of that energy drained out of him. To have it tamed, so that he could finally relax and have his proper rest. 

“I don’t really think it’s working, though,” he breathlessly said then with a bitter chuckle. “It’s been so long since I’ve been with anyone. And it’s kind of hard to make myself cum when my head is at the wrong places.”

“What if I give you a helping hand? Will it work?” The offer slipped right out of your lips before you could do anything to stop it. You didn’t even realise what you were offering him until the moment you saw the look on his face. He looked surprised, but intrigued at the same time. Then there was this new emotion which seemed raw and fierce coming out through his gaze when he considered taking your offer. 

“Why would I say no to that?” was what he said as he leaned back, allowing you to take matters into your own hands, literally, as you fixed his problems simply with the touch of your hands until he was able to find release. 

That was the first time that you crossed the line just to help him. And it was definitely not the last. 

The arrangement continued after the next show, and the next, and you kept coming to his aid at the end of every concert throughout the ongoing tour. Your help had become the best option available rather than allowing him to find other ways to get out of his predicament once the night got deeper and he was still too hyped up to sleep.

After a short while, your carnal favour has escalated from merely giving him your special aid through your helping hands to taking him deep in your mouth once he needed to be stimulated further. 

That was as far as you had gotten since this arrangement started. Never once had it led to something more. And Hanbin had always been the focus of your “service”, except for the few times he returned the favour by giving you release with the touch of his deft hands when you had to do this in the privacy of his hotel room. 

Your body trembles in heat. Both from reminiscing all the sinful act you had done to help him and from the pleasure that you gained in return through his touch. 

Reaching the end of the aisle, your eyes linger on the last bunk. The curtain is drawn, and there is no sound coming out of it. You can tell that he won’t be there if you pull that curtain open, so you move on.

The only sound that you can hear comes from the small room at the back of the bus instead. The area that was meant to be the master bedroom, altered into a private cabin with sofa beds and desks which would have more purpose for someone like Hanbin. 

You shouldn’t be surprised to know that Hanbin would choose to be there, waiting for you to come to him. Because you know that out of all the sections within the bus, it would be the only place that can provide you all the privacy that you may need to be able to help sort out the uncommon predicament that Hanbin might be facing tonight. 

Right this moment, that is where the faint sound of his moans and slow breaths is guiding you. And you follow its lead, with your heart palpitating the closer you are to get to it. 

As you gently open the door to the cabin, you find Hanbin sitting on the long sofa at the back of the room. The same sofa bed that you would use to sleep on whenever you are riding on the bus, when you are not helping Hanbin finish his work or write his music while everyone else is asleep in their bunks.

You enter the cabin, closing the door behind you. You take a moment to have a good look at him before coming to his side. 

Hanbin still has the same pants that he was wearing on stage. Sill bare-chested after discarding his shirt at the end of the show to toss it to God knows where. The only difference is that he is barefoot, with his shoes left hastily on the floor. The strands of his hair—which appear to be wet with sweat—are now a complete mess with curly strands falling over his face like curtains shielding him from the dim lights illuminating the room.

Hanbin has his head tilted back as he reclines on the sofa, looking awfully exhausted after the hours-long, full-energy show that he had just concluded. You can see his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. His bare skin is glistening with a thin layer of sweat that somehow makes him look even more alluring than he always has been. The glow on his skin further accentuates the lines on his chest, shoulders, and torso, making you feel the urge to touch him there. 

Before you can realise it, your legs begin to move, taking you to him. At first, it appears to you that he has yet to notice your presence. Until you notice the slight tremor in his deep inhale of breath once he senses that you are coming closer.

As you come to him, Hanbin lifts his head to look at you. The dim lighting around you didn’t allow you to see it before, yet as he subtly shifts on his seat, you finally notice that he had left his pants unbuttoned and unzipped before you had gotten here. 

Seeing the sight of his hard-on, partly covered by his pants while the tip is resting heavily on his stomach, it reminds you of the first night you saw him like this. Except that instead of having his hand wrapped around his hard girth, Hanbin keeps his hands to his side this time. Both are clenched tightly into the sofa, allowing you to see the tension rolling out of his body.

That tension seems to grow further when he opens his eyes, watching you coming closer to him with an intense gaze. 

“You’re here,” he says once you are standing right before him. His voice almost feels like an echo in the silence that surrounds you. Still sounds hoarse after the show. 

“I’m here,” you find yourself responding as if you are completely entranced by his gentle voice. You clear your throat, hoping that you can shake away the yearning in your voice before he ever notices it. “I heard you were expecting me. I came right away, assuming that you needed my assistance.” 

You trail your gaze back down on his lap, eyeing closely at the sight of his hard cock. It twitches against his stomach the more you give it attention. You lick your lips, wishing for a taste. Yet you manage to keep your voice steady when you tease him, “I didn’t expect that you would have started already without me.” 

A slow grin appears on his face. “There is no way I could start anything before you got here. I was waiting for you. But as you can see, I needed to do something about it when it was starting to hurt so bad.” 

He stops with a hiss. His body seems to react while he converses with you. “You’re the only one who can help me during times like this,” he says to you before dragging his tongue across his lips. 

There is a subtle disappointment flickering in his eyes when he adds, “Funny, I thought you would be as excited as I’ve been to finally have some time alone like this once the show ended.” 

The look that you see in his eyes and the disdain you hear in his voice catch you by surprise. You didn’t truly expect that he would be anticipating this as much as you have been. It makes you feel guilty for stalling time instead of coming to see him straight away just like you were supposed to. 

You had only lingered back to gather your wits before facing him. It was something that you felt needed to do, after the reactions he wrung out of you while he was performing. 

Even now, you still feel hot as you are picturing him dancing, rolling his body to the music as if he was making love to it. And your body is still reacting the same way. Heat rushes through you, centering at your core. Then you look down again at his throbbing shaft, and that heat shifts into something else. 

You take a deep breath and quickly move your eyes to his face to gain composure. “I was planning to come find you right away, but I had to make sure that everything was going as planned before we could go back on the road,” you try to explain yourself, even if you can tell that what you are giving him is nothing but a lame excuse. 

“Is that so? I guess I can’t blame you for making sure that you’re done with the job. I almost thought that you were avoiding me,” he jokes with a feeble chuckle, to which you quickly respond with,

“I would never do that.” You surprise both him and yourself with your immediate respond. You are mostly surprised at how much you meant it. “There’s no way I could avoid you. Not at times like this, at least.”

Hanbin falls silent, making you tense for a moment. Until he lets out a relieved sigh. “That’s a relief to hear. I’m glad,” he says. A subtle tremor rises from his chest just then, and you can tell that he is still brimming with adrenaline. 

The same adrenaline that he had gotten built up from the stage, and the one that you will have to tame down for him to be able to sleep during the night. 

The same way it has always been. Once the music ends, the overflowing adrenaline that still remains in his body becomes out of control. And it is your job to help him come down from it. 

Only that it would need a different kind of high to make it happen. 

After tonight’s show, you know for sure that this would be a challenging of a task for you to deal with. You can only hope that you won’t get devoured by this new raw energy of his.

“How can I help you this time?” you offer with a soft voice that is nearly drowned by the sound of your rapid heartbeat. 

“Can you—” he starts to say in a whisper, “can you strip out of your clothes this time? Please, I want to see you.” 

His words, despite sounding like an inconspicuous request, are still enough to make you feel the same rushing heat building back up in your body. The only thing that you aren’t completely sure of is whether this feeling comes merely from lust. 

Because the rapid flutters rising in your chest are telling you that there is something else that is present there. Something that is insisting on blooming within you despite all of your efforts to keep it away. 

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” you ask him, trying to make sure that he knows what he is asking of you. That he realises that complying with his request now would only mean that both of you are crossing a new line. 

“I wouldn’t be asking you this if I wasn’t,” he firmly says to you, and you can almost hear his voice growing deeper and heavy with his desire for a moment before he covers it all up to say, “but you don’t have to if you don’t want to go that far.” 

But you do want to. Even if it means you are crossing over boundaries, and things may escalate further than they usually would. 

Somehow, you had predicted that things may turn out differently this time. Unlike those previous nights, lending him your helping hands may not be enough for you to solve this problem of his. Not tonight.

You already felt it since the show earlier, when there was a new raw energy emerging from him throughout the show. As if he was letting loose every pent-up desire on stage, which brought up the rumbling energy now still emerging through his body as he is sitting there, waiting for you to make a decision. 

Fulfilling his request seems risky when you are already getting too deep. You were never supposed to get your emotions involved. Yet it still happened. It happened before you realised it, and now it appears to you that it is already too late for you to try and stop it. 

You have made up your mind to try and ignore your treacherous heart. To focus on doing your job until the final day of his tour. Except that the answer you give him next doesn’t seem to support your decision and your mind decides to take a new risk instead.

“It’s fine. I’ll do it,” you calmly say to him while doing your best not to show how much his words are affecting you. 

“It would be better that way, after all, since you nearly ruined my favourite blouse when you made a mess on me the last time we did this,” you simply add, as you try to convince yourself that there is really nothing else behind this. That you just want to make it more practical. 

Your comment draws a grin to his face, as if he is recalling that salacious night in his head right after you brought it up. The night when you slipped into his dressing room right after a show, using the limited time you had to fix his problem before you were supposed to drive him and the dancers to the hotel where everyone could rest for the night. 

Except that in the rush of him finding release, Hanbin made a complete mess out of himself, and you, when drops of his essence fell all over your blouse. It would have been impossible for people not to notice you coming out of his dressing room wearing nothing but his sweatshirt, had there been people still loitering around after the show was over. 

You had initially believed that your secret was safe with you when you managed to slip out unnoticed, until you remember Shawn’s sly grin earlier when he spoke to you about Hanbin. 

Once again, you try not to dwell on it too much and focus back on the present. Back to the man who is sitting right in front of you, with his chest and cock partly out, as he waits for you to make a move. 

Looking straight into his eyes, you reach down to grip the hem of your blouse and strip it off of your body. Your trousers come next, as you unbutton them at the waist and start pushing the fabric down your hips.

Hanbin’s eyes never waver from you while this is happening. The way his gaze is so focused on you seems to only urge you to continue putting on a show for him. So you begin to sway your hips from side to side as you slowly peel your pants off of you, before letting everything fall on the floor.

Stepping out of your shoes and the pile of your discarded clothes, you leave your undergarments on and stand right between his parted legs. His gaze follows you as you lower yourself to the floor, kneeling down right before him. 

“What do you need me to do next?” 

Hanbin drags his tongue across his lips as he considers his options. Having you kneeling in front of him, with your face hovering close to his crotch is already enough to taunt and challenge him. 

Tension rises between you as he makes you wait. 

The air feels cold on your mostly bare skin, yet your body feels hot as your anticipation increases with each passing second. Being in this position makes you feel completely exposed and helpless, as if you are submitting to his control. Slowly, your knees begin to feel sore from holding up your weight. The rising ache only brings forth the other sensations rising in your body, making you feel sensitive to the slightest movement he makes when he shifts in his seat. 

This wouldn’t be the first time that your body is showing these reactions. When you are made to feel your own carnal desire rising in your body at the thought of pleasing him and fulfilling his needs. 

And this was the reason why you took your sweet time coming to him. Because you couldn’t face him when you had a myriad of emotions rushing through your body. You are already made weak by your forbidden feelings, and it would only be made worse once he brings out your dark desire. 

Because you know that you wouldn’t be able to control yourself once that happens. 

A gentle touch on the top of your head brings your attention back to him before your mind gets too far and your insecurities take over. At the same time, his touch calms you down. 

The moment you look into his eyes, everything else seems to fade away. This is no longer a part of your job, and the world outside of this cabin no longer exists. It stops you from questioning your decision of ever getting yourself involved in this whole thing.

“Help me take these off. I can barely move a muscle since I got here,” he calmly claims with a soft chuckle, completely oblivious to the turmoil happening in your head. 

He probably doesn’t even know how his simple request is making your chest dip. 

You bite back the bashful smile that comes to your face. “Oh, poor you. Here, let me help,” you say to him with a tease, even if it falls short once your eyes return to his twitching erection.

You ignore the warm flutters rising in your chest as you reach up to grab a hold of his waistband. With a firm grip, you start pulling his pants and boxer pants together. Which doesn’t really take a lot of effort when they were barely holding on around his hips, already pushed down just enough for him to free his rigid cock from its restraint. Your fingers graze his skin as you keep pulling them down his hips, causing him to tremble under your touch. 

It gives you some self-satisfaction to be able to draw this kind of reaction from him. It feels good to see that you are not the only one getting affected by all the tension. So you tease him further, keeping light contact with his skin as you continue to bring his clothes down his legs. 

“There. Better?” you ask him with a low voice once the intrusive clothes of his are now gone. 

Seeing him sitting there completely naked leaves you breathless. Yet you find it hard to look away. His erection seems to grow harder under your perusing gaze. It causes the urge to touch him to grow stronger. 

“Touch it,” he suddenly says, as if he knows what you are thinking just by looking at your clenched hands. “Please,” he adds almost breathlessly, “I want to feel your hands on me.” 

Words fail you. While his words pull you like a spell. You reach out to touch him, starting from his thighs, where you trace his skin lightly with the tips of your fingers, drawing light shudders through his body. You continue until you finally reach the area between his legs when you finally stop.

His whole body tenses. Anticipation rolls through him as you move your hand closer. Light fingers start hovering lightly on his hard-on, with only a subtle brush or two grazing at his cock. Each light touch you give him only makes you want more. You want to feel his skin under your palm. To feel the familiar pulse coming from his cock the moment you touch him. Yet you resist the temptation just a bit longer. You want to tease him enough to the point that he feels like he is on the edge before you finally continue. 

And he doesn’t disappoint you when he soon reacts. With a soft whimper, Hanbin subtly pushes his hips up, as if trying to guide you into touching him further.

No longer able to deny your own desire, you finally give in and wrap a gentle hand around the base of his cock. 

At your touch, Hanbin reacts with a groan. His chest trembles as he tries to calm himself with a deep inhale of breath. His hips almost come up from the sofa when you start moving your hand, sliding your gentle grip up and down the length of his cock. 

You continue to move, keeping a steady pace and drawing more and more reactions from him. His rocking hips, his rumbling chest as he moans in pleasure, and his hands that are clenching tightly right by his side. 

You soon notice how quickly he loses control of himself once he starts thrusting back up into your hand. Seeing how badly he needs this release, you give a firm grip around his girth and slowly pick up your speed, moving your hand up and down his length until the sound of his laboured breathing fills the room. 

“Fuck, that’s it. That feels perfect,” he groans with his head tilted back. Shudders after shudders rush through him, and you keep up what you are doing now when he doesn’t make a move to stop you. 

Until you start to feel it coming. 

A pulse rises from his girth, pressing against your palm. and you take it as a cue that it is time for him to reach his climax. After giving him a few more strokes, you lean down and tease the head of his cock with your tongue. He lets out a deep groan once he feels your lips wrapped around the tip, covering him with your warm mouth. 

You continue the light strokes along the length of his shaft and reach down with your other hand, touching his balls with a light hand and start massaging him lightly as you begin licking your way up and down his member. As the sound of his moans increases rapidly, you finally take his whole cock into your mouth and slide all the way down, taking as much as you can until he is deep in your throat. 

You suck hard as you push him in and out of your mouth, swirling your tongue around his tip each time you come up and tightening your throat when you come back down to swallow him. With your hand, you continue stroking the rest of his length that you cannot cover, until you feel his muscles tightening, his moans stuttering with heavy breathing, a sign that he is ready to explode. 

With one last stroke, and giving him one last hard suck, you swallow him deeply until it finally happens. His hands come up to the back of your head to keep you in place as he rocks his hips, thrusting into your mouth. It takes only a few thrusts before he finally comes into your mouth. His warm release falls on your tongue and the cavern of your mouth, with some drops shooting their way to the back of your throat. 

The last one makes you gargle, yet with his hands keeping you in place and your mouth still pumping his length, you make no move to pull away. You continue sucking, swallowing every last drop until the only thing that remains is the constant pulse of his blood pumping from the base of his cock to the tip that is still buried in your throat. 

You don’t stop, until he finally has enough and releases you, and you pull away so his cock pops out of your lips and falls back onto his stomach. 

You take a moment to catch your breath. But once your mind is cleared, you realise too late how hot your body feels now, triggered solely by the act of pleasing him. There is heat rising between your quivering legs, and you somehow know that if you reach down, you will find yourself growing wet. 

Hanbin’s hands return to you, touching your face gently so you can look at him again. 

His face seems flushed after his release, with a mix of afterglow and raw, unfulfilled hunger that refuses to go away. The glow in his eyes makes you grow curious at first, until your eyes trail down his heaving chest, stopping at his toned stomach to see his cock, still hard and mostly rigid even after its release. 

“As you can see, seems like I’m going to need a little more than that,” he says with a lack of regret shown in his voice. 

This situation makes you laugh. “A little?” you tease him, making him grin.

“Okay, maybe a lot,” he returns with an easy shrug, while your chest feels heavy at the thought of this continuing into something else. Something more risky. 

You realise that you are not feeling this way because you are unwilling, but because deep down, you know that you want this. You have wanted this for some time, ever since the pleasure which you gain from helping him becomes so addicting and your feelings become deeply involved. 

You can barely hear your own voice under the sound of your heartbeat when you ask him, “So what do you have in mind?” 

Hanbin opens his mouth, only to close it again. “I don’t want to make you do something that you don’t want to,” he says while gauging your reaction. Ever since you started spending close, nearly intimate moments like this with him, you have learned that he can be a bit perceptive when it comes to you. 

And it does a lot of things to your heart when he can easily tell what you need. How he always keeps a close eye on you to make sure to notice any discomfort coming from you. 

“No, that’s not what this is,” you answer him with a soft voice as your hands return to touch him again. You trace your fingers on the inner side of his thighs, stopping before you reach his cock when you finally admit to him, “I want this. I want to do all I can to help you.” 

And help myself satiate my needs, the little voice in your head whispers just as your eyes find him. You hate to admit how hopeful you are feeling as you wait, expecting him to express to you exactly what he needs. 

The same way you always make it happen. It makes things easier for you when he guides you through it. Even though it has never been easy for you to deal with the lingering aftermath.

“Good. Now come up here,” he breathlessly says. The need in his voice feels so intense that makes you feel entranced. Pulled by his demand as you carefully plant one knee and the other on either side of him to get over his lap. 

Hanbin has his hands on your waist, helping you up with a gentle hold. Which only makes it hard for you to remain calm when his touch makes your heart stutter. Butterfly wings fluttering wildly from deep within your chest just from that simple touch alone.  

“What’s wrong?” he asks you, as he notices how you become still under the touch of his hands. There is a deep sigh in his voice. It makes you wonder if he is getting affected by the contact at the same time. 

“Just a bit nervous,” you find yourself admitting to him before you can stop it. You quickly bite your tongue, stopping yourself from suddenly dumping your true feelings and trying to divert his attention. “I never realised how tight this sofa is until we’re both sitting on it together like this.” 

He softly chuckles. “I’ll take care of you,” he says to you gently as he wraps an arm around your waist to hold you up against his chest. “But if you’re not sure about this—” 

“I’m sure. Positively sure about this,” you quickly cut him off. The words just come out of you before you realise it happening. 

A smile grows on his face. One that makes you swoon and you simply melt into his hold. “That’s all I need to hear,” is all he has to say to you, before he surprises you by pulling you to him and pressing his lips on yours. 

You grow tense for a moment and he slows down, giving you a chance to process this over. Maybe push him away if you are feeling uncomfortable. 

Because he never kissed you on the lips before. Not like this. Not with this much passion and tenderness that makes you feel like your heart has grown wings and they are fluttering wildly in your chest. 

Slowly, you begin to relax, returning his kiss with the same gentleness that he is giving you. The kiss continues on, and on, until he suddenly traces your lips with his tongue, and you are made to feel as if you are melting into hot lava. 

Hanbin’s hand slides up your back. His touch feels distant as you have your mind muddled by his hot kiss. Though your body still arches into his touch, as if having a mind of its own. You run your hands through his messy hair, pulling at his locks while you are returning his kiss. 

A soft tug is felt against the skin on your back. The next thing you know, he is pulling your bra off of you. He pulls back from the kiss as he throws the bra away, while you let out a gasp when a cold breeze touches your skin. 

Hanbin licks his lips as he takes a good, intense look at your bare breasts. “All this time, I’ve always wondered—” 

The sound of the door at the front of the bus being opened cuts him off before he can finish what he is trying to say. Then the sound of low chatters and laughter follows. You immediately wrap your arms around yourself when you realise that some of the boys are already returning from dinner. 

Blood is drained from your face at the thought of being caught in the middle of this. “Oh no, I forgot to lock the doors.” 

“It’s okay, baby,” Hanbin hushes you with a soft murmur while pressing a finger on your lips. “They know that we need our privacy, so no one will be looking for us back here. Just remember to keep it quiet while they’re still out there.” 

Before you have the chance to ask what he means to say, he pulls your head down and presses his lips on yours. Once again, he silences your thoughts until the only thing that you can focus on is the present. 

To focus on him. 

For someone who is filled with tension, Hanbin’s kiss feels gentle. As if he wants to take it slow, to take his time while making sure that you won’t break. The soft touch he keeps on your waist makes you realise that he is giving you a chance to set the pace, to allow you to slip away if you want none of this. 

But there is no escaping this when have already given in, allowing yourself to submit completely to your true desire. It isn’t hard to let yourself go when you can feel from the way he is kissing you that Hanbin wants this as much as you do. 

You wrap your arms around his shoulders as you allow yourself to take more. You meet his kiss by responding to it with the same fervour. You return every mesh of his lips on yours with your own, then you open your mouth to let him slip his tongue right in. 

Hanbin seizes his chance right away, deepening the kiss by pressing harder. His breathing grows heavier as he swirls his tongue around yours, to which you respond by sucking his tongue and pushing back, drawing a faint sound of a groan rumbling through his chest. 

You feel his hands moving right then, tracing your skin and rubbing at your curves, before finding your bottom cheeks. He covers your soft flesh with his palms and gives it a light squeeze, pushing you further into his chest and drawing a warm pulse deep inside your core when your covered pussy rubs against his cock. 

Feeling delirious from his touch and his hot kiss, you run your hands over the smooth muscles on his chest. The tips of your fingers slide down the thin layer of sweat that is covering his skin, while feeling him growing even hotter under your touch. 

All of a sudden, Hanbin pulls away from the kiss. He narrows his eyes when he looks at you, giving you a look filled with lust. 

His gaze moves away from your face as he moves his hands again. His eyes follow his touch as he traces his way up to your breasts. A tremor is visible in his inhale of breath as he gently presses his palms on your soft mounds, matching the subtle tremors that come awake through your body from his touch. 

As soon as his fingers touch your breasts, your nipples grow hard in an instant, and they seem to grow more sensitive the more he touches you that even a soft blow of the breeze makes you shiver. Once he takes notice of this, Hanbin bends his head lower and takes one of the pulsing buds between his lips. He gives a light suck, then brushes his tongue against it. You grit your teeth at the sensation that he is bringing out of you.

You almost forget where you are or the fact that you are no longer alone as Hanbin scrapes his teeth against your flesh, teasing you for a moment before biting to the point of pain. While you resist the urge to moan, your hand wanders down his chest, feeling his heartbeat stuttering under the tips of your fingers, then you continue your way down to his stomach. 

Within moments, your fingers brush the head of his cock. The need to touch him grows stronger then, and you trace your fingertips along his shaft. He moans against your breast, affected by your soft, yet indecent touch, and it pushes him to move further. 

His hand moves down your waist, pulling the waistband of your panties and tries to slip his fingers into the fabric to touch you. Yet your position above him isn’t allowing him to dive deeper to find the source of your pulsing heat. 

With a groan, Hanbin pulls away. He opens his mouth, and you begin to move back, expecting him to tell you to strip out of your panties. But he stops himself as he looks down, studying the offensive fabric for a brief moment before his hands slip under the waistband and he starts pulling.

“Wait, what are you—” You are just starting to question what he is up to when the ripping sound of the fabric fills the room. He doesn’t tear it into pieces like how you had often read it in those steamy romance novels, and he isn’t doing it so expertly either. His brows are furrowed deeply as he struggles with it and it takes him a while before he can get the job done. But as soon as he has the sides ripped up, he pulls the entire thing off of you and tosses it away while cursing out at it. 

“Are you crazy?” you ask him with your mouth gaping open, while he only exhales sharply. 

His brows are still furrowed when he answers you, “I didn’t want you to step down. Can you please wear something thinner next time so it’ll be easier for me to take it off of you?” 

“You can’t be serious?” you ask him with a baffled laugh. 

“You know I don’t joke about things like this,” he says with a sly grin. He may not seem so serious about it when he said it, but knowing him, you know that he truly meant it. “Now, where were we?” 

You are still baffled by his words that you fail to respond in time, and he takes the chance to move his hands down your hips. Hanbin has one hand holding you firmly at your hips as he dips the other between your legs, tracing the tips of his fingers up your inner thighs while gently guiding you to part your legs a bit wider. 

It feels like a struggle to get into position, but you somehow manage. Then he wastes no time to move his hand upward until his fingertips come brushing at your nether lips. 

Your hips lurch forward to meet his touch as he parts them and starts tracing your hot sex. With how sensitive and needy you have become, it doesn’t take much for him to make you start moaning and panting. 

“You’re so wet,” he murmurs while looking amused, but not surprised. He also seems mesmerised as he looks down at his fingers as he slips then between your folds and easily finds the slick mess that was formed while you were pleasuring him. 

He continues stroking your wet slit, drawing more and more of your arousal so that you can hear the slick sound he makes with his fingers. 

His touch draws a gasp out of your lips, and just when you are just beginning to feel high with pleasure, Hanbin bends down and starts sucking at your breast again, intensifying the sensation further that you simply lose all control of your body. 

Your hips begin to rock, moving back and forth against his touch and in tune with each stroke of his fingers on your slit. As he slides his fingers to find your clit, your moan grows a bit louder, and your movement becomes more erratic as you are drunk with carnal pleasure. 

Hanbin takes this chance to grow bold with his touch, as he gently slides a finger into your tight pussy. He feels you clenching around him tightly in response, and he begins pumping his digit in and out of you, drawing more shudders through your body with each stroke. 

While he works his fingers into your pussy, he uses his thumb to explore around it. He glides the wet digit over your clit and presses down while he pushes the rest of his fingers into your depth. 

You let out a breathy moan. Something that isn’t meant to happen, but the wanton sound comes out with your exhale of breath. And in your effort to try to hold back from erupting in pleasure, you simply fail to control yourself. 

Yet the sound you are making only draws an approving sound rumbling through his chest. He gives you a muffled moan as he keeps his mouth latched onto your breast possessively. 

Beyond the blissful fog filling your head, you can hear the faint sounds of footsteps walking away, bags being dropped, and then the distant voice saying something about leaving dinner behind and getting drinks, before you can hear the door of the bus closing. You can barely recognise those sounds, and it doesn’t register to you what it means at first, until you finally remember that you haven’t been alone on the bus for quite a while. 

Yet now that they are gone, there is nothing left behind but silence. The sounds of your ragged breath and his soft groan are the only ones left to fill the room. 

Hanbin finally releases your breast with the sound of a pop coming out of his lips. His hand quickly comes to where his mouth has been, though it doesn’t mean that he is done working his mouth on your skin. From your breasts, he traces your skin with his hot lips—up to your collarbones, then lingering on the side of your neck. 

Your head falls back. A content sigh slips out of your lips from the way he is tasting you, kissing and nibbling around the spot beneath your ear which has always been quite sensitive.

“I need to be inside you,” he finally asks you with his lips grazing against your neck. He makes it hard for you to respond with his hot kisses pressing on your skin and his fingers moving in slow circles against your slit. 

The pleasure that he wrings out of your body feels maddening. It builds in a slow rise, but is still enough to make you feel high in bliss.

“I—” you sigh out an answer, only to continue with a series of moans as you rock your hips on his lap. Too lost in your wanton need, you grind against his fingers, needing something more. Something to get you to find your release.

“I know that you want it too. I can feel it whenever you try to hold back,” he whispers as he leans back, searching for your truth with his deep gaze looking straight into your eyes. Then he surprises you, making you wonder if you have always been so transparent when he asks, “Don’t you ever feel frustrated at night when you need something but can’t have it? Why deny yourself of pleasure when I’m right here?” 

You hate how right he is and you hate that you can’t even deny every word he just said to you. 

Every time you are done with your carnal favours, you always come out of it feeling unsettled. You have always found yourself struggling on your own in the aftermath, left to spend the long hours in those nights tossing and turning in bed. 

Alone and horny. 

Frustrated because you are left with a need that has yet to be fulfilled. 

Disappointed because you have no other way to find release other than your own touch. Which would never be sufficient to give you exactly what you need.

He pushes his fingers back into your pussy, drawing a low moan out of your lips which he covers with a kiss. “Let me return the favour, baby. You’ve done so much for me. Let me do this,” he murmurs against your lips before pressing a gentle kiss, giving you time to answer, while using every sinful touch he is giving you to push you into opening up. 

Though there is really no need for him to do it, when you have already made up your mind the moment you heard his offer the first time.   

Because how are you supposed to refuse when he keeps saying all the right things? And when you can clearly see how genuine he is being? Or when your body is humming with a wanton need that keeps begging to be released, and he keeps touching you at the right places which gives you carnal pleasure? 

“If you want to talk about returning favours,” you start to answer him with a sigh while running your fingers down his heaving chest, “you should know that I only take what I am owed.” 

Hanbin grins at this. He pulls back slowly while drawing his fingers out of your tight pussy, leaving behind a shuddering bliss in its wake. You watch him bring his fingers up to his lips, each one coated with your slick arousal, which he lowly licks with his tongue until he tastes every last drop. 

The sight of him drinking your essence captivates you so that your head spins, almost making you miss what he says to you next, “You don’t have to worry about that at all. I plan on paying everything that I owe you—” he says before tasting the last drop and bringing his hands back to your hips, “even if it takes all night long to pay my debt.” 

“Really?” you ask him, “I’ll keep that in mind, just don’t take back your words once we begin.” 

You reach down, grabbing his hard erection and finding it already grown back to its full girth while he was pleasing you. You give him a few strokes, drawing a gasp from his lips, before aligning the hard tip of his cock right at your entrance. 

The urge to sit down on his hard-on feels so strong. Yet you fight it just a bit longer. You have known that you have grown awfully wet down below, and there is no doubt a mess has been created there from his sinful touches. You can hear the sound of your slick arousal echoing in the room as you guide the tip of his cock back and forth against your slit, coating him with your essence. 

You continue this until you are ready. Until you feel him pushing his hips upward slightly to press his cock against your pussy. With a shudder, you put his cock right back at your entrance and slowly start lowering yourself on him. The sound of his deep moan erupts as you slowly sink down the length of his cock, stopping briefly when there is some restraint from your pulsing walls, keeping you from taking him deeper. 

“Fuck, so tight—” he groans deeply, while you can only respond back with a soft mewl. “Are you feeling okay?” 

“Mm,” is the only thing that you can give him when words fail you. Spasm after spasm of pleasure rocks through you even when you are both silent, remaining in a standstill while your bodies are slowly adjusting to one another. 

“We need to move, baby. You’re sucking me and we’re barely starting.” 

It feels tight, and your legs are trembling so much that it almost makes it hard for you to move. Even pushing yourself up and down his length seems like an effort. 

But once the series of pulses begins to wane down, you finally gather enough will to start moving. After moving slightly back and forth, nearly rocking against him, you manage to take more of him. Taking him inch by delicate inch until he is completely embedded inside your slick heat. 

With a shuddering moan, you slump forward against his chest. Because the pleasure you are feeling with him buried deep inside you is too much. 

He makes you feel full. His girth seems to be the perfect fit inside you. He also makes you feel a myriad of sensations that you have never felt before even just by filling you up like this. 

Perhaps it has been too long since you have gotten laid that your body responds to him so easily. It has been hard for you to hook up with anyone while you are attached to this job, and while you dedicated your long hours to fulfil his needs. 

Hanbin notices the way your body is taking its time to adjust to the sensation rushing through you. Instead of rushing through things, he tightens his hold on your waist to keep you close, holding you up while you let the shudders pass. 

Hot kisses are pressed on your neck, chin, and then your face, as Hanbin tries to soothe your body to relax against him and help you embrace the pleasure. It takes a moment, but you finally feel the tension in your body lessening in his hold. 

That is when you start moving. 

Starting with tentative rocking at first, before you slowly start gaining more and more confidence just as the rush of pleasure continues to build up and take over. Scooting forward and back, you rub yourself against his length. Then you gather enough strength on your legs and begin moving up and down his length, causing his cock to retreat and reenter you with each move. 

Your carnal desire quickly takes over control, and your body continues to move naturally in a steady rocking. He raises his hands and begins caressing your breasts, using the rhythm of your rocking hips to gently knead your soft flesh. 

“That feels—good,” you moan softly, mewling while arching your chest into him so you can press your breasts into his palms. He takes this chance to pinch your nipples, playing with them by rubbing and rolling them between his thumbs and forefinger, until he draws an intense wave of pleasure rushing throughout your body. 

Your rocking quickens, and with the way you are arching into him, you are inadvertently grinding your clit against his pubic bone, drawing more and more of those delicate shivers of pleasure surging inside you. They rise through your chest and neck, and once your legs begin to quiver harder, you start losing balance and the rocking of your hips grows unsteady. 

His hands come down to your hips, giving you a firm hold to keep you from flailing and falling back from the sofa. Humming softly, Hanbin becomes aware of the way you are shaking on top of him. He gives you a moment to ride your pleasure before he takes over and starts pumping his cock into you. 

“I...fucking…knew it,” he groans, saying each word between each thrust he is giving you. He slams harder and harder, closing his eyes as he takes this moment to savour the pleasure that he is feeling from being inside you.

“I’ve pictured this so many times, and it feels way better than I imagined it would,” you hear him say with ragged breaths. Your hips buck in surprise, but he tightens his grip on your hips and increases the pace of his fucking, pushing all thoughts, any word you wanted to say to him, out the window. 

Your fingers sink deeper into his bare shoulders as you hold on tightly to him through the rough fucking he is giving you. The pleasure feels so intense. But the sudden tightness in your chest has nothing to do with the sparks rising right where you are joined, when your heart seems to swell at his admission.

To even think that he has been thinking of you this way, for wanting this same thing as you do for a long time, seems unfathomable. 

But you cannot say that you had never suspected it before. You still remember faintly hearing him say your name on that first night you caught him pleasing himself, even if you had suppressed this memory to the back of your mind in your denial. Though the rest of the time you saw the signs had been real, when he kept his eyes open each time you assisted him with his needs, refusing to look away from you as he embraced his release. 

You open your eyes just as he does the same. The look you see coming out of his gaze makes your heart lodged higher in your chest. Because beyond the lust, beyond the desire, you see deep longing looking back at you, returning every yearning that you feel for him as he continues to rock his hips in rapid successions. 

Hanbin pulls your head down until your mouths are joined. He drinks in the sounds of your moans with a deep kiss. Your breasts bounce with each hard thrust he keeps giving you. Each hard tip keeps rubbing against his chest, drawing more wicked sensations through your body which pushes you closer towards your climax. 

Right before you can reach it, Hanbin suddenly stops. He trembles as he holds back from his own release, starting from his legs that are locked under your weight to his chest which heaves with deep, ragged breaths. 

You open your mouth to protest and whine, but stop yourself when you look into his eyes. You can see his intention looking back at you and instantly know that this is not over yet. 

He may have denied both of you from your final release, but he is not done with you yet. 

Keeping his hands on your hips, he gives you a firm hold as he rolls your bodies together, flipping your positions until you are laid right beneath him. 

He lifts your legs in the air, sending you sinking into the sofa as he places your legs on his shoulders. In a blink of an eye, he slides his cock back into you, drawing a sharp gasp from your lips when he pushes in with one firm thrust, drawing a rapid set of spasms from your walls pressing around him. As you look up to him, his eyes are dark with lust, clear desire written all over his face when he begins rocking, thrusting in and out of you at a rapid pace. 

“Hanbin—!” you hiss out his name as he continues fucking you to oblivion. 

Yet hearing you calling out his name seems to work like a spell. It draws him to move quicker, pumping deeper inside you, until all that you can feel is his hardness pushing in and filling you up completely to the brim. 

Allowing himself to get lost in his carnal desire, he no longer cares about the noises that he draws out from both of you while he chases for his release. It feels so intense, so hot, so carnal, that you almost feel like you are melting into the sofa while your whole body trembles violently under each of his hard thrusts. 

Being in this position, you are made helpless. With your body being folded under his weight, it makes you feel off-balanced. There is no escape as he drives into you, pushing you into the height of bliss. 

But you refuse to stay still, wanting to give back and push you both further and faster to find climax. Reaching up, you hold on tightly to his biceps. Keeping a steady leverage there as you rock your hips back up, returning every thrust he is giving you with your own push. 

You scream out his name at how good it feels. The pleasure that feels like ecstasy rolling through your body, shooting straight back up to his rocking hips until you feel him shuddering above you. 

“That feels so good. I’m close, baby,” he groans, just as you feel the first wave of your climax building rapidly inside you. 

“Please, Hanbin. I’m also close,” you moan deeply, almost breathless with the intensity of your pleasure taking over your body. “I’m going to come.” 

He reaches down between your rocking bodies without missing a single thrust. His fingers come down right at where you are joined. With a trembling groan, he finds your clit and gives it a pinch. 

Pain and pleasure spark through your body. Your muscles grow tight, clenching around him, before your orgasm comes crashing through your body, one intense spasm to another. Hanbin cups the nape of your neck as he continues to pump into you hard and fast, fucking you through your orgasm until it feels like it will never end. 

“Fuck—you’re so tight, baby,” he grunts. “You’re gripping at me.” 

His voice fades in and out as your orgasm rolls through you. Once again, your pussy clenches tightly around him, and your final orgasm finally pushes him through his own. He comes with a shout, and you feel him twitching inside you before he starts shooting his warm release inside you. His slow rocking carries on with pulse after pulse of his climax until he fills you up with the very last drop of cum. 

Exhausted and spent, Hanbin collapsed on top of you, completely out of breath. While you no longer have the energy to push him away. He waits until all the spasms growing in your bodies start to calm down when he finally pulls out of you. 

While you fall helplessly on the sofa, breathless and high in your blissful fog, Hanbin moves away to grab a clean paper towel before returning to you. 

He takes his time taking care of you, gently cleaning you off from the mess that has been created from your intense lovemaking. Each delicate brush on your skin draws light sparks from your body that still feels sensitive to the touch. Slowly, he draws your senses back alive, yet his soothing touches help you relax with a content sigh. 

Once he is done, Hanbin rolls you over to face him as he falls right beside you on the plush sofa.

As you lie there by his side, in a post-orgasmic bliss and limbs that feel too heavy for you to move, your mind begins to race. There is no stopping it when you start wondering, questioning about what will happen next. You have crossed boundaries as his personal aid, and what you had taken as your personal responsibility to take care of him has now become something else. 

“That was—” you try to speak once you find your voice again. Yet no words come out of you when you have no idea what to say to him. 

“Amazing? Sensational?” he teases you while wiggling his eyebrows. 

You laugh, shaking your head even when deep down, you cannot really deny it. It was amazing. Shocking and fully insane, may also be the perfect way to describe it.

As you lie down beside him in the tight space of the plush sofa bed, you look at his face closely, still unable to believe that what just happened was real. 

“I mean, whatever works. As long as you enjoyed it,” you find yourself saying this to him as you try to process this moment. 

Because everything feels like a dream. 

Except what remains from your orgasm still lingers like a murmur through your entire body, showing you how real everything was. There is the slickness you still feel oozing out of you when you shift closer to him. Not to mention the soreness between your legs that is still present.

Even lying down side by side with him like this doesn’t feel real at all. You may have spent the past few weeks flirting, teasing, and even satisfying each other. Yet post-coital intimacy has never been a thing to share between you. 

Never before tonight. 

“Me? What about you? I thought I was paying my debts to you?” he asks you with a tease, though he seems genuinely curious to hear your answer. 

“I—” you try to speak, feeling a tug at your heartstrings knowing that he cares. “I thoroughly enjoyed it.” Your smile grows when you see him smiling at your answer. “Let’s just say that it was a good start to pay back what I’m owed.” 

Hearing this, Hanbin laughs. 

He surprises you once again when he pulls you to his chest and gives you a kiss, as if it is the most normal thing for him to do. And you return his kiss as easily as though you are two regular lovers. As if this isn’t the first time you are being this close. To be this intimate, aside from the special arrangement that you have made with each other. 

“Can we—” he says breathlessly as he breaks away from the kiss. “Can we continue like this for a while, just until this tour is over?” 

Just like that, any hope that had a chance to bloom in your chest is depleted. Disappointment washes through you for thinking that this actually has an expiration date. Just when you finally have the courage to admit your true feelings. 

But then your spirit is quickly lifted when Hanbin continues to add, “Once we’re done with this tour and later when we’re back home, let’s talk about this further. That is, only if you want to. I just don’t want you to think that I’m only taking advantage of you and forget everything once we’re back.” 

This time, when you feel that unsolicited hope brewing in your chest again, you do nothing to suppress it or hold it in. You don’t even try to deny it. There is no point in denying it now, after all. As it will always be there, no matter what you do to ignore it. 

And now that the final line has been crossed, you know that there is no turning back. 

“Sure, I’d like that,” you whisper to him with a smile, and with a genuine trust knowing that Hanbin always keeps his words to you.

Just like how he keeps his words about spending the entire night making up to you for all the favours that you are owed. 

Hours later, as the bus continues its journey towards its next destination, both you and Hanbin are still huddled up in the back cabin. The room has grown hot, and the passion that you share has yet to come down. 

A soft moan escapes you when he rocks his hips, pumping deeper into you in a series of rapid thrusts, and he quickly presses a finger on your lips to stop you from making too much noise. “Keep your voice down, baby. You’ll wake everyone,” he urgently whispers. 

Being in your current position, with your folded knees sinking deeper into the sofa and your hands barely able to hold your upper body up against his relentless pounding coming from behind, it really is becoming impossible for you to hold back. “I can’t,” you whisper to him between your strained moans. “It’s too much.” 

After a series of orgasms that he has been giving you all night, with only a brief reprieve taken when you took a break to have dinner—specially delivered to you by Shawn and the dancers while you were both busy in the back—it really is becoming a bit too much. 

Your body has taken a lot of his rough lovemaking that a single thrust is enough to ignite the sparks within you. Your skin has grown too warm, your pussy is tender, and your muscles are getting too sore to keep you up. 

“I know, I’m so sorry. Just a little bit more, okay?” he pleads with you as he continues thrusting in and out of you, slowly quickening his pace as he feels the spasms of your climax rising yet again, with your muscles pressing around his cock in a possessive grip. 

You bend forward and lift your hips higher to take everything that he is giving you. While his words echo through your mind as you embrace the building pleasure, reminding you of the promise that he gave to you earlier. 

Until this tour is over. 

Just one more show. 

You hold on to those words to gain strength. But after what you are experiencing tonight, and after witnessing the adrenaline rush that went through him after tonight’s show, the final arrangement waiting for you at the end of this tour no longer seems to be an easy fix. 

“I doubt that it’ll be anything ‘little’ when it comes to you,” you retort back to him with a moan, “you’re insatiable.” 

Hanbin lets out a soft chuckle as he presses a kiss on your bare shoulder. “It wasn’t my fault this time. You started it first.” 

You hide your smile at his words. Because he was right, after all.

After your tryst continued for a while and you were lying on his side, tracing the lines on his bare chest, the memory of his alluring dance came through your mind. It took you back to the moment you were made to feel hot from the sight of him rocking his hips, and how his sweat-covered chest kept glowing under the stage lights while he was dancing, keeping you under his spell.

That memory gave you the urge to start touching him. Starting with the touch of your fingers tracing down his skin, before you replaced your naughty hands with your lips when you traced the lines on his torso with your kisses. And you kept going lower, and lower, reaching the source of his arousal, until he finally snapped. 

“Guilty as charged,” you admit to him with a deep moan just as he pushes deep into you. “I’ll take all the responsibility for this one.” 

“Good. Because I’m not going easy with you this time,” he says, as he starts thrusting into you harder, faster, while you can only take everything until you are quickly pushed towards the precipice of your climax. 

He makes you bite your ripped panties as he keeps pounding into you, stopping any sounds that may come out through your lips as you embrace your climax. Making sure that your voice won’t wake the boys who are sleeping soundly in their personal bunk beds while the bus continues to drive through the night towards its final destination. 

⤑ Author’s Note | This was supposed to be posted on his birthday, but as always, things don’t always go as planned when it comes to scheduling in my case. I’m glad that I still got to finish this because the idea had been stuck in my head since I’ve been following B.I’s journey through his European tour this year, and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it if I didn’t write it down right away. I hope you enjoyed this thrilling experience. Please leave kudos/likes, comments, and share/reblog it if you liked what you read. Any other form of feedback is also welcomed. Thank you for reading!

— © 2023 @yoonia (Tomoe Dia), all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind, translations, and unsanctioned adaptations are not allowed. | First publication & writing on Nov 10th, 2023

[ollssl]

mdni .

you woke up on your bed when you smelled something from outside of your bedroom. getting up from your bed, bring the headache straight to your head. ah i went crazy last night.

trying your best not to bump into the walls while walking to the kitchen till you see someone’s back, cooking something, smelled like pancakes. his back turned around, “youre awake?” you nodded.

“did you sleep here, bin?” he nodded, “i fell asleep on the couch, i was planning to drive back home but yea” he shrugged. “i see. are you making pancakes?” “yea, i made some hangover soup for you too. go wash your face first”

after brushing your teeth and all, you started eating the soup hanbin made for you, “bin” he looked at you with pancakes full in his mouth. you chuckled, “i want to ask you something” he nodded, “go on”

“did i do something yesterday..?” he tilt his head, “what do you mean?” you sighed, “did i… sleep with someone..?” he stared at me with a shock face “wh-.. i.. uh.. no..” you frowned, “really? youre not lying right?”

she doesn’t remember.

but she has the right to know, hanbin.

you shrugged, “i asked because when im drunk, i’ll wake up with someone beside me. but, i’ll just believe you. thank you for the soup, i feel so much better now. youre done right? i’ll go wash the dishes” you were going to take his plate but he hold your wrist, “i lied.” you looked at him, “hm?” you sat back down.

“i..u- we..” he stuttered. “what is it?” you asked. “we..” we?… oh … oh. “hanbin, did we..?” he tries avoid your eye contact, “i couldn’t.. hold myself.” he sighed, “imsosorryiknowyouhatemenowyoucanpunchmeslapmeitsmyfault” you chuckled and hold his hand, “hanbin, i dont hate you.” he looked up to you, “but-“ “im pretty sure its my fault” you looked down. silence came for like 5 seconds till he speaks up, “i didn’t hate it though..” you smiled, “even though i cant remember it, but i didnt regret it. im glad it was you. its really a shame that i cant remember it” you caressed his hand before letting go and took the dishes to go wash it. he sat there, eyes widen a little when he heard you say that. then his mind went back to last night..

“we shouldn’t…” his mouth said it while his body reacted the opposite, his hand on your waist, pulling your close even though he keep repeating shit like “we shouldn’t” “we cant”

“i know you want it too, bin..” he hates how right are you and that he cant deny that. the way your hand feels on him. no, she’s drunk. you cant hanbin. “you wont regret this, i promise.” you whispered as your lips brush against his. im fucked. “ah fuck it” he groans before smashing his lips into yours, immediately entering his tongue in.

pushing you down your bed, both instantly taking off your clothes. “do you have any condom, princess?” you shakes your head, “fuck me raw, hanbin.”

his mind went back, looking down to his pants, seeing his hard cock already bulging the pants. he turned to you at the sink, before biting his lips, trying to stop himself. i didn’t regret it. thats what she said. she didnt regret it.

you heard hanbin standing up from his chair before you feel his presence behind you, when youre about to turn around, he hugged you from behind. “han-“ then you feel it. something poking your ass. he sighed into your neck, “i cant stop thinking about it..” he mumbles. you can feel your face turning red. “you’ll remember this time, princess. please just let me..” he starts grinding on you slowly. you turned to him, “do whatever you want to me, bin.” he stared at you before smashing his lips on yours.

[mykoreanlove]

Who Are You Dating?

Your friend was sitting opposite of you with crossed arms and pouting lips, being visibly upset with you.

“I just don’t understand why you are keeping this a secret from me! Don’t you trust me, y/n?” You laughed sheepishly.

“Of course I trust you. But just like I said, now is not the time to reveal his name. Not yet.”

Your friend sighed in annoyance.

“Fine. Keep your stupid secret then.” She gulped her drink in one go and thought about her next move for a minute.

“Hey, y/n!” You leaned over the table, paying her your utmost attention. “Since you won’t tell me the name of your famous sweetheart… can you at least tell me what he’s like? Is he treating you well?”

Your lips turned up into one big smile. Was your boyfriend treating you well? Was he paying attention to you and your needs? You took a sip of your drink and nodded, smiling nonchalantly.

“You could say so, yeah.” Your friend got up from the table and strode over to the bar, leaving you alone and confused. She came back with a bottle of soju in her hands and determination in her eyes.

“Do you know what this is?” You looked at her bewildered. “Soju”, you answered.

“Yes. Soju. This is a special kind of soju. With each shot we take, I get to ask you a question about your secret romance guy which you have to truthfully answer. Got it?” You admired your friend’s determination – she always had been stubborn and now was no exception.

“And you think you will figure it out that way?”

She smirked at you, then proceeded to pour the first two shots. You were nervous, yet amused. Would she figure it out? Or were you smart enough to keep your idol boyfriend’s identity a secret? You leaned back in anticipation and mustered the shots.

“Game on.”

Your friend clanked her glass with yours and both of you downed the bitter tasting alcohol in one go.

“Waaah”, she sighed in relief. “Nothing beats soju if you ask me.” You on the other hand winced in dismay as you weren’t the big drinker your friend wanted you to be.

You heard your friend clap her hands together, signaling that it was time to start her questionary game.

“Question one, and I’ll go easy on you with that one, is: when and where was your first date?”

You thought back to the first time you met him, smiling unconsciously.

“Well, it had to be months ago. Oh I know, it was the beginning of April. Shortly after my dad’s birthday. Even though I had met him weeks prior our first date was in April.”

“You met him weeks prior? What? Was he too shy to ask you out?” You threw your head back laughing.

“No, not at all. He asked me out right away – he didn’t waste any time on making clear that he liked me. However, it took us some time to meet up because he had to work non-stop. He was out of the country a lot and all his plans to take me out fell through. But then-”, you stopped with a big smile. “Then, it kind of happened spontaneously.”

Your friend looked at you skeptically. “Spontaneously?”

“Yeah. He was alone in the office, working on his music. It was late at night, so he ordered a cab for me and met me in his company’s building.” Your friend looked disappointed.

“That’s not the love story I wanted to hear, y/n.” You laughed in amusement.

“But why? He worked with what he got. He found some mats and a blanket and used those to imitate a picnic. He literally got all the snacks the office had to offer and he even found some fairy lights that he hung up to set the mood.” You smiled warmly, thinking back to how your boyfriend looked in those golden lights, admiring you just as much as you admired him.

“We talked all night and even slept there until we got woken up by the sun. I know it sounds like it wasn’t that much but it was actually very romantic.”

Your friend smirked. “Did something remarkable happen?” You blushed and looked down at your lap. “OMG, y/n. Spill the tea!”

“He, uhm, he actually showed me what he was working on. It was a love song, a very sexy one, too. And I loved it – he is so great at his craft. After he made sure that I loved the song he confessed to me – he actually wrote it for me. And then he kissed me.” Your cheeks grew redder by the second.

“No way, that sounds so lovely! He wrote a sexy love song for you? Can I hear it?” You chuckled silently.

“You already have.” Your friend’s eyes grew wide in surprise.

“What? No way? I have? He actually published a song he wrote for you?!” You smiled proudly while nodding your head. Your friend clasped her chest in amazement. “Damn.”

You took the bottle of soju in your hands and poured the next shots. After your friend had composed yourself you downed the next round. “Okay, now tell me. What is his best quality? And leave no part out!”

You leaned back in your chair, thinking about an answer that would do him justice. His best feature? You thought about his exceptional good looks – driving not only you, but thousands of fans crazy. He had those beautiful, yet intense eyes that could pierce right through you with just one glance. He had that cute nose that you could admire all day. You thought of his very sweet and kissable lips that you loved to hang unto. As you pictured your boyfriend’s face you automatically started recalling his body. The muscles on his back or his well-defined arms turned you on indefinitely. His strong legs or selient abs made you weak, as well as his cute little tushy did.

But was that his best quality? No, far from it. He was a very handsome man on the outside, but even more so on the inside. You admired his intellect, especially his emotional intelligence. He always knew how to take care of you and what to say to soothe your wounds. You admired his hard work and determination – you had never seen someone so ambitious and goal-focused as he was. You thought about his kindness – no matter how hard the day had been or which brutal lies had been spread about him, he always wore a smile on his face and treated the people around him with kindness and compassion.

“Hello? Earth to y/n? Are you still debating on his best quality?” You laughed at your friend. “Hey, it’s hard. He is such a great person. I-”

Suddenly you thought back to a moment in which you were laughing hysterically together about the most profane things, holding your stomachs while gasping for air. What you admired the most about your boyfriend was his humbleness – he never forgot where he came from and he always tried to stay down to earth while being his best self. A proud smile covered your lips again.

“His best quality is that he’s real.”

Your friend re-filled the shot glasses while monitoring the remaining soju. “Alright, I guess I have about 2 questions left, so I better make them count.” You both downed the next shots, which you started to regret immediately as you felt yourself getting dizzy. Your chest got warmer, you tongue got looser and your impulse to overshare grew quickly.

Your friend cleared her throat before posing her next question. “Is he dominant or submissive?” You nearly choked on your own spit after hearing that one. “What? It’s something your best friend should know!”

By now your cheeks were dark red – a mixture of the soju in your blood and the shyness you felt in your body. You were no prude but talking about your sex life made you feel awkward. Especially in a public place like a bar. About your super famous boyfriend that nobody was supposed to know about. You tried dodging the question but your friend was merciless.

“So?”

“Kind of both I guess?”

“I guess? I guess? Who is fucking him? You or me? What do you mean I guess?”

“Oh my god”, you whimpered as you lowered your head and hoped that the floor would swallow you this instant. How were you supposed to answer that?

He was in fact both – most of the times he loved to take on the dominant role. Usually he was the one seducing you, mounting you and having his way with you – which you totally loved. You loved getting on your knees for him, begging him to make you feel good and give you what you wanted. You loved when he was using his strength over you, pressing you into the mattress until not only your legs shook but also the walls around you. You fucking loved it when he was degrading you, being rough with you until it was over and he would pamper you like a princess.

But sometimes it was reverse – sometimes the responsibility of his work took a toll on him and he was happy to be submissive. He enjoyed being indecisive, not balancing the world on his shoulders for once and then he behaved like a brainless puppy that followed your every word. A pussydrunk boy that would burn the world down if you asked him to.

Your friend watched you debate your answer for what felt like eternity until she smirked naughtily. “You’re thinking about him fucking you for like 5 minutes and your face tells me everything, y/n. You don’t have to answer me. Lucky you though!” She stuck her tongue out and erupted in laughter afterwards.

You were eyeing the bottle of soju which was nearly empty. “Thank god”, you mumbled under your breath.

“Oh”, your friend pouted. “The bottle is almost empty. This game is so much fun – why don’t we get a new one after?” She beamed at you in excitement which you shut down immediately.

“If we get a new one, you’re the one answering questions, missy!” She rolled her eyes at you in annoyance.

“Drink up!”

Just one more question. You just had to answer one more question and you would be released from this torture. You did well until now, you had not said his name so far. You grinned at yourself proudly, congratulating yourself for your willpower.

“So, your special secret guy. Has he been in love before you?”

You felt your chest tighten. The alcohol in your blood made it impossible to hide your true feelings, so it was written all over your face. “Shit, wait. Is this a touchy subject?”

It was. In fact, it really was.

You sighed in dismay, taking your time before answering truthfully. “There has been someone before me that he was deeply in love with. His feelings were reciprocated and they shared a very beautiful, yet intense time together. It didn’t work out because there were a lot of obstacles in their way, rendering their love impossible.”

Your friend watched you silently for some time. “Y/N, it’s over between them, right? Why are you so disturbed by this?” You chuckled awkwardly.

“It is over between them, that’s true. And I shouldn’t be jealous or pissed off because of it but I find it very hard not to be. Especially when he sees that ex every day.” Your friend’s eyes widened in shock.

“Every day? Was he dating a staff member or something?” You shook your head.

“No, he was dating one of his members.” Your friend’s jaw hit the floor, leaving her silent for the first time that evening.

“You got to be shitting me. He was in a relationship with one of his members? Holy fuck. I thought those boy on boy ships were made up by crazy fan girls but they actually exist?”

“Of course they exist. Imagine spending years with someone that you like. You go through thick and thin, that person understands what you are going through like no other. It’s only natural to develop feelings in that scenario. Especially with all those sexy dances and touchy photoshoots.” Your friend nodded in agreement.

“Does he know?”

“About my insecurities? No. I try my best to hide them. What’s done is done, right?”

You glanced over at the bottle of soju. “It’s almost empty.“

“Almost”, your friend poured the remaining sip into your shot glass. “This is like half a shot. Do you get to ask me half a question then?” you grimaced.

“Haha, smart ass. Save those comments for your boyfriend. Let me think. We’ve covered your first date and his best qualities and we’ve talked about him in bed and his history with love. Oh! I know.” Your friend looked at you with a mixture of anticipation and excitement. You looked at the shot in your hand for the last time this night and downed it in one go. It actually didn’t taste so bad after four of them.

“Does he love you?”

Did he love you? You grinned the widest grin while thinking about all the ways he made you feel loved every single day. You swore yourself to secrecy in the beginning of the game but after all that soju you couldn’t help yourself. You gestured your friend to come nearer to you.

“Pssst”, you whispered, “Want to know how he loves me?” Your friend nodded while you checked your surroundings like a criminal that was about to confess his sins.

“Okay. He says ‘I love you’ obviously but you know that words are words and actions are what I’m about, right? Listen to this. When I wake up alone I always get a sweet good morning text. He randomly sends me songs that remind him of me. He loves to cook my favorite dinner. He gifts me presents all the fucking time. He calls just to hear my voice. He buys me lingerie only to take it off in 5 seconds. He sends flowers to my house just because I like flowers. He brings me soup when I feel sick. He even kisses me when I have a runny nose. If I complain about something that’s broken in my house he makes sure it gets repaired. He always asks about my family. He always compliments me – on my body and my character. He leaves random notes in my house. He always has the snacks I love most. He tracks my cycle and gets me pads and chocolate when my uterus is out to kill me. He leaves kisses all over my body. He helps me studying Korean and is so patient with me while I’m literally slaughtering his native tongue.  He always checks in on me and reassures me when I feel insecure. He teaches me his dances and pretends I’m good at it. He laughs at my jokes – I mean obviously he does because I’m hilarious, but it’s like he laughs extra hard. And when I’m sad or down the drain he makes sure that I laugh a little bit more. He always makes sure that I know how proud he is of me. Even if I have to date him in secret right now I know that he loves me with all of his heart.” You looked at your teary-eyed friend.

“So, did you figure it out?”

[kcake555]

Kim Hanbin cake 🍰

[unique-high]

Project Romance

Hanbin x black girl OC

Summary: In which a boy finds himself falling in love. Or where Hanbin is part of the film and photography department and he is given the assignment to document a girl named Krystal Taylor.

SMALL PREVIEW

Krystal looked into the camera. I zoomed in on her face before zooming out. "Don't you find me boring?" she asked.

"Not at all. I walk around her with the camera capturing every bit of her. "You're the most interesting person I've ever met."

She threw her head back laughing. The sun poured into her mouth and poured over her skin making her glow. I lowered my camera to watch her with my eyes. Something about the way she laughed made my heart spark and jump. And I think then, at that very moment I had fallen in love with Krystal Taylor.

A/N: I'm not going to write this story anymore but anyone is free to have it. If you do write it please tag me I would love to read it. 😭 You can also turn this into a Hanbin x fem! Black reader. Or any idol of your choice with y/n. 🙂

[lilyrennifer]

Use as many as you want!

Please check out my INFORMATION page before requesting.

Please specify who says which prompt.

More detail the better. Example:

Yongseung VeriVery × Reader

Non Idol AU Party AU

Enemies to lovers

Dom Yongseung

Sub Reader

41 and 43 Reader

42, 48 and 49 Yongseung

Prompts

1- "Good morning (insert pet-name/name)."

2- "Come here (insert pet-name/name)."

3- "Get on your knees (insert pet-name/name)."

4- “Spread your legs, (insert pet-name/name)."

5- "Sit on my cock, (insert pet-name/name). I need to feel you."

6- "Go on (insert pet-name/name) mark me. I want everyone to see."

7- "Why are you crying (insert pet-name/name)?"

8- "Sh, it's ok (insert pet-name/name)."

9- "Really? Because your pussy/cock is saying something different, (insert pet-name/name)."

10- "Relax (insert pet-name/name)."

11-"Shit! Stop clenching, (insert pet-name/name). You're tight enough as it is."

12- "Fuck, you're so tight (insert pet-name/name)!"

13- "You look so pretty with my dick/strap on inside you, (insert pet-name/name)."

14-"Come on (insert pet-name/name), scream my name when you come."

15- "Where do you want me to come (insert pet-name/name)?"

16- "Open your mouth for me (insert pet-name/name)."

17- "Wider, (insert pet-name/name). You can do it."

18- "Just relax (insert pet-name/name), we are/l am going to make you ours/mine tonight."

19- "You're doing so well (insert pet-name/name). Just a little more."

20- "Don't fucking stop, (insert pet-name/name)!"

21- "Where do you want to be touched, (insert pet-name/name)?"

22- "Has anyone ever touched you down there/here before (insert pet-name/name)?"

23- "Touch yourself for me/us, (insert pet-name/name)."

24- "Be a good girl/boy and suck my cock/strap on (insert pet-name/name)."

25- "Fuck! Your tongue feels so good on me, (insert pet-name/name)."

26- "Don't speak with your mouth full, (insert pet-name/name)."

27- "Come on (insert pet-name/name), ride my thigh."

28- "It's ok (insert pet-name/name), I'll/we’ll talk you through it. Take your time."

29- "Little faster, (insert pet-name/name). We don't have much time."

30- "Got to hurry (insert pet-name/name), your parents will be back any minute.

31- "Your not in trouble (insert pet-name/name)."

32- "This is a punishment (insert pet-name/name), your not supposed to enjoy it."

33- "I'm gonna turn your ass red (insert pet-name/name)."

34- "Can you keep going (insert pet-name/name)?"

"Yes/No."

35- "You deserve a reward/punishment (insert pet-name/name)."

36- "Don't worry (insert pet-name/name), l'll/ we'll take care of you. I Promise."

37- "Ah, is my (insert pet-name/name) crying cause my cock/strap on makes you feel that good?"

38- "You think she/he moans as pretty as she/he sings?"

39- "Good girl/boy.... Just like that.

40- "Are you trying to piss me off?"

41- "I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last person on earth!”

42- "Don't act like you haven't wanted to fuck me all this time."

43- "Bite me!"

44- "Fuck! Can't you just do as you're told for once?!"

45- "You’re not as hot as you think you are."

46- "Fuck you!"

47- "God I'm so horny! I swear the next person that walks through that door, I'm going to fuck!"

48- "We might get caught. Does that turn you on?"

49- "Keep your voice down - there's still a party outside."

50- "If you think being in public is going to stop me, you're sorely mistaken, sweetheart."

51- "Maybe we take this somewhere more private? I'm not averse to an audience but I doubt you'll want everyone to see how badly I'm about to blow your fucking back out."

52- "But there's people-"

"I don't care. Let them watch."

53- "You sound even prettier than I imagined you would."

54- "God l've never wanted to fuck anyone this badly before!"

55- "You can sit on my lap until I'm done working."

56- "What are you wearing?"

57- "Is that my shirt?"

58- "Clothes. Off. Now."

59- "Are you seriously trying to make me jealous?"

60- "I’m sorry."

61- "You started it. Now I get to finish it."

62- "You better be naked when I get back."

63- "Beg for it."

64- "Stay still."

65- "On your knees, now!"

66- "I'm going to spank you now."

67- "I love it when you cry."

68- "Which do you prefer, fingers or mouth?"

69- "You look so pretty with my fingers stuffed inside of you."

70- "You know how many times l've imagined your lips around my cock?"

71- "Swallow. All of it."

72- "God, you have no idea how long l've wanted this!"

73- "God, you're so warm! Feels so good!"

74- "Look at you, all spread open for me."

75- "Well? Don't make me wait."

76- "Did I tell you to stop?"

77- "Can you take another one?"

78- "I've barely touched you and you're already dripping. What a little slut."

79- "Bet you can't come without making a sound."

80- "I want you to fucking scream my name when you come!"

81- "Don't even think about cumming yet."

82- "If you want to cum, then you're gonna have to beg."

83- "Go on, one more time. I know you can do it."

84- "Bet everyone would get a kick out of how desperate a little cockslut you are."

85- "Look at you taking it from both ends at the same time. What a good girl."

86- "And everyone thought you where so innocent."

87- "Is there a reason you're in my bed?"

88- "You're being shy now? Really?"

89- "This will be our little secret. Okay?"

90- "So, I hear you're into pain?"

91- "You've been a bad girl tonight. I think you need a punishment. Turn around and bend over."

92- "Damn right your in trouble."

93- "I'm gonna beat your ass so hard you won't be able to sit for a week."

94- "I love seeing my marks all over you."

95- "Your eyes always glaze over when you cum."

96- "You better not touch yourself while I'm gone."

97- "Round two?"

98- "You think I give a shit that other people want you? I'm the one that gets to have you."

99- "Whatever you do, don't turn around."

100- "I saw you naked once. And now I can't stop thinking about how beautiful you looked."

101- "Be a good girl/boy and swallow for me."

102- "Don't stop on my/our account."

103- "Can we/l touch you?"

104- "Mind if I/we join?"

105- "She's/He's/Your mine!"

106- "You've been a very bad/good girl/ boy."

107- "Spread your legs for Noona/Daddy, I want to see you."

108- "Do you trust me?"

109- "Shit! Are you crying?"

110- "Can I kiss you?"

111- "You look adorable like that."

112- "You shouldn't be alone right now. I'm staying."

113- "I'm gonna fuck you so good you'll forget all about that bastard."

114- “You want to kiss me so hard right now, don't you?"

115- "I know you think about me when you're alone."

116- "Sit on my lap and maybe you'll find out."

117- "I've thought of nothing other than the way you'd feel wrapped around my cock."

118- "If you do that one more time, I don't think I’ll be able to control myself."

119- "Bite your lip one more time and we are gonna have a serious fucking problem."

120- "You talk too damn much. How about we use your mouth for something better?"

121- "Like what you see?"

122- "You can suck it, if you want."

123- "Look at you, so needy for my cock."

124- "Shut your god damn mouth before I shut it for you!"

125- "Talk over me one more time and I'II shut that pretty mouth of yours up."

126- "You better watch your fucking mouth or I will take you right here, right now."

127- "I told you to stay quiet didn't I?!"

128- "Don't look at me like that!"

129- "Come here. Now!"

130- "Don't make me stop this car! Cause I swear to god, if you do, you'll fucking regret it."

131- "You deserve this."

132- "I am only hard on you because I love you."

133- "Ugh, god! You make me crazy!"

134- "God, l'm so fucking obsessed with you!"

135- "You look so good with my hand around your throat."

136- "Give in to me."

137- "Choose me."

138- "Kiss me, like you mean it."

139- "I never want to be without you again."

140- "You belonged to me/us way before I/ we ever made you mine/ours."

141- "I don't want anyone else but you."

142- "If I can't have you, no one can!"

143- "This is wrong. You know it's wrong."

144- "This my first time."

145- "That feels good.."

146- "Your fingers feel so good..."

147- "Please, use me."

148- "Don't be gentle."

150- "Let me repay you. Please."

151- "Please Noona/Daddy I need to touch you."

152- "Touch me. Please."

153- "Please stop teasing me!"

154- "Please, just touch me already!"

155- "Please, let me come!"

156- "Please don't stop!"

157- "I can't take it anymore please stop!"

158- "Please, hold me closer."

159- "Please, hold me."

160- "Stay close."

161- "Hold my hand."

162- "Just take me home, please."

163- "I feel safe when you're here."

164- "When I wake up, you're still going to be here. Right?"

165- "It hurts!"

166- "I love you."

167- "I hate you."

168- "Louder!"

169- "Harder!"

170- "Faster!"

171- "Please come inside me."

172- "Of course I still love you, why would you even ask me that?"

173- "I love everything about you."

174- "I hate everything about you."

175- "Are you flirting with me right now?"

176- "Is this okay?"

177- "There's only one bed."

178- "Are you awake?"

179- "Is that gonna fit?"

"I'll make it fit."

180- "You used to have feelings for me. Admit it."

181- "I know you've had a crush on me forever."

182- "Okay, maybe I have a crush on you! So what?!"

183- "I can't hide it anymore. I have to tell you how I feel!"

184- "Jealous much?"

185- "I missed the train, can I stay with you?"

186- "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

187- "Tell me, (insert pet name/name) do you like making me mad?"

188- "You will do as I say!"

189- "The more I look at you the more I wanna hurt you. Why is that?"

190- "You’re flinching like I hit you already today."

191- "It’s rather cute you think I care for any complaints you give."

192- "You’ll come around sooner than you think."

193- "Give up trying to escape. I will find you each and every time."

194- "You liked it, didn't you?"

195- "If you're really sorry, kiss me."

196- "Crying won't help you."

197- "I know your body better than you think."

198- "Denying me will only hurt you in the long run."

199- "See? The more you obey, the more freedom/rewards you get."

Some prompts inspired by @jl-micasea-fics prompt list.

[giraffenamjoon]

say please (seungcheol x reader)

genre: smut, light angst, romance

summary: you take your bad day out on your best friend, forgetting he has experience dealing with little brats.

word count: 8,707 (WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME)

tags: hard dom choi seungcheol, first time subbing reader, brat taming, friends to lovers, spanking, edging, orgasm denial, oral sex, vaginal sex, light angst, cheol is great at aftercare, dirty talk, one use of the word 'slut', romance, ajsfdkjlsfdjadsfjlaf i just lost my mind honestly

read on AO3: say please

comments and reblogs are loved and cherished and welcomed 🥰

playlist: DIE 4 YOU - DEAN | The Killa (I Belong to You) - TOMORROW X TOGETHER | Calico - DPR IAN | Up Late - GEMINI | Pretty Plzzz (ft. B.I) - LEO

[hannieween]

spotlight | lights out series

In the aftermath of that night when everything changed, Joshua has to pick up the pieces of his own doing.

✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader x yoon jeonghan �� genre: angst, fluff, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, boyfriend joshua, theatre director jeonghan, best friend jeonghan ✮ word count: 16.9k

› 🎧: am pm – jay b ft. whee in | lover – b.i | switch it up – jay b | lights out – sunmi ft. be'o | planet girl – jooyoung, pH-1 | skyline – i.m | closer to you – jung kook ♡

→ season one – navi post – read more

› smut warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: descriptions of food, food and alcohol consumption, smut with plot, joshua is toxic and kind of manipulative, multiple sex scenes, sub joshua, dom reader, oral sex (m), unprotected sex, body worshipping, creampies, morning sex, slight exhibitionism, a bit of cuddle fucking, cowgirl, bondage, sensory deprivation, overstimming, edging. pet names: bunny, baby, beautiful (hers) baby, baby boy, handsome (joshua's)

✮ author's note: this story takes up after the city lights series. i highly recommend you check that fic out before diving into this one if you haven't already... or you might be a little bit confused.

✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part i

You clawed at the bedsheets wrapping your body.

Sweat covered your neck as your fingers clenched around the soft fabric of the creamy white bed sheets you were writhing under. You sank the side of your face on the pillow below you, muffling out a short moan.

The side of your body was comfortably lying on your mattress, softly creaking as Joshua moved behind you under the bed sheets, keeping a steady pace on the push and pull he had commenced not two minutes ago.

Your boyfriend was breathing hard on the crook of your neck, moaning softly every time he pushed inside your walls, the front of his body cuddling your back, keeping one of his large hands flat on your tummy to keep you in place for him to fuck you slowly.

One of the things Joshua discovered about himself is that he loved morning sex. In his past relationships, he didn't think too much about it. Granted, he was never big on vanilla sex.

But something about waking up next to you, wholly naked under the bed sheets, your face being the first thing he sees, your soft humming the first thing he hears.

The first few times he woke up next to you as soon as he moved into your apartment, right after he finished touring and recording an album, you were the first one to wake up. And those times you usually left the bed before he woke up, only for him to catch up with you making breakfast.

But now that he had grown familiar with your routine and you with his, he was the one who was waking up before you did.

And Joshua Hong swore he could fall in love twice over.

Somehow he learned to wake up silently, so he wouldn't wake you up in the process, knowing how much of a light-sleeper you were.

Sometimes he would just lie there with his eyes closed, either cuddling you or just lying by your side.

Something would brighten up inside him every time you would unconsciously search for him, either turning over the bedsheets to cuddle him up, lacing your leg with his. Or whenever you were already snuggling him, you would just bump the tip of your nose against him.

It was as if, in your dreams, you would reach out to him, to make him hold you as if you were in your own world, resting peacefully.

But this morning he was just so bundled up in your warmth and in your love that he just couldn't resist himself.

Joshua had to wake you up with kisses on your shoulder to let you know of his intentions, and to his surprise, you immediately caught on, arching your back for him to have easy access to your warm walls.

So there he was, madly in love, drunk on you, pushing your body as he breathed hard on the curve of your neck, getting glimpses of you holding onto the bed sheets every time he blinked dazedly.

"Baby," Joshua half moaned, half sighed as he closed his eyes. "I love you."

The sound those words elicited from you, made him smile, turning his head to litter kisses on your cheek, and down your neck.

"I love you, Josh," you replied, sounding as if trapped in a trance, so dreamy, breathily moaning out his name.

"Yeah?" he sighed. "Are you gonna come with me?" he asked, hearing your increasingly louder moans.

"No, no, not yet," you replied, your fist leaving a bundle of sheets, diving under the bed sheets to meet his hip, holding onto him. "Please, it feels so good.."

"Okay, okay," he whispered hurriedly. "Fuck," he gasped softly, slipping out of your sopping walls by pulling his hips backward.

"Joshua!" you gasped, turning your head to see him, squeezing his eyelids shut in focus.

"Sorry baby," he sighed with a smile, opening one eye first to see your obfuscated face.

"It's okay," you smiled sweetly when you understood that he was close to his climax.

"Turn over for me," he rasped, nodding his head to the pillows.

Joshua experienced something unusual to him, like a lightning bolt piercing his chest when you smiled at him giddily before turning face down on the pillows, knowing what he wanted to do.

The love he felt for you was so intense it could literally cause him pain.

But he got to his knees on the bed, not letting you wait for him any longer, he moved on top of you, each of his knees at the sides of your hips as you instinctively lifted your ass up for him, uncovering your wet pussy for him.

Joshua smiled when something in his mind reminisced on the days you were getting a feel of each other, just two total strangers giving themselves into carnal desire.

And now, he couldn't imagine a life without you.

He brought down a hand on one of your buttcheeks, not hard, but just about enough to get a squeal out of you, followed by a sweet laugh from your part that sent a blissful shudder through his body.

You looked over your shoulder, propping your weight on your elbows to watch him with an excited glint in your eyes. Without more pause, he just grabbed his wet cock, driving it inside you in one go.

It was nearly electric, the feeling of being inside your engulfing warmth, the fluttering, the wetness, you, you, you.

You dropped your face flush into the pillows to muffle a raw cry of pleasure. This position made it so that his cock teased a particular sweet spot in your walls that instantly had you wailing like a mad woman.

"Joshua..." you sighed against the pillows.

His head lolled back slightly, giving himself into the blissful pleasure and desperation to feel you whole, to make you feel good, to hear your voice call out his name in raw cries.

So he just started moving his hips back and forth, pumping his cock inside your warm walls, moaning at just how wet you were.

"Joshua, Joshua..." you continued as he fucked you deeper, the back and forth of his hips made the bed frame creak and budge against the wall of the bedroom, quite evidently telling the new neighbors that it was another one of those mornings.

"I know, baby," he sighed back, grabbing you by the hips to keep your ass up and cunt angled for him, watching his front hit your plump cheeks, the recoil, the dents his fingers were creating as his hands held you steady for him to fuck.

"Oh, god," you rasped loudly against the pillow, your hands balling into fists on the pillowcase. "Oh god, Joshua..."

"Are you close, bunny?" he called in a gasp, groaning in frustration as you shook your head on the pillow.

"Harder," you sighed, lifting your head to cast a look over your shoulder, your eyebrows knitting in a plea as you added. "Please, fuck me harder, Josh."

"We'll get another noise complaint," he grinned, reading the dilemma that set in your furrowed brow.

Joshua couldn't care less about the new neighbors. As soon as they moved in two weeks ago, he knew they would be a problem. When you were notified about the noise complaint, Joshua just knew it was them.

"Hmn?" he changed the pace of the back and forth of his hips on you, fucking you with shallow thrusts. It was not as deep as you preferred, but still good.

You groaned in frustration and buried your face on the pillow again.

"Baby, give me an answer," he laughed heartily. He knew he could continue fucking you slowly just to tease you.

But he was also aching to come.

"Do it," you breathed, nodding with your head before casting another look. "Please, baby, I'm gonna be quick, just, please, I want it harder..."

Joshua smiled at your resolve before commencing to plow on you, retreating his hips and thrusting forward with a hard and fast pace, his front slapping against your ass, causing the recoil to be more prominent, making him moan at the sight.

But your moans, oh, they were the cause for the noise complaints, he was sure. It wasn't the bed frame hammering against the wall, or the loud creaking of the mattress, or even his own moans.

You were wailing now, crying out his name in bliss and pleasure pleading him to never stop, to keep going, to go harder.

And he was just too complacent to not let you have what you want.

"I'm coming, Josh, c-coming!" you cried out, gripping the pillowcase, turning your head so he could see your pretty cum face of your eyebrows knitting, your mouth falling open.

"Fuck," he sighed, his fingers digging into your skin to focus in not changing his pace for his own pleasure, he kept plowing on you as you came undone on his cock, your whiny moans flooding the room paired with the banging on the wall from the other side.

"Josh..." you sighed as you slumped down on the pillow.

"I'm there, oh fuck, baby..." he moaned, ignoring the urgent thumping on the wall. He threw back his head, a long, moany exhale coming out of him as he spilled himself inside you finally, his hands grabbing your hips to fuck you into him languidly until he spilled the last drop of his cum in you.

You were breathing out sweet moans as he stopped thrusting in and out of you slowly and sloppily, hearing the banging on the wall with a sly grin on his face, being accentuated when you groan in utter embarrassment against the pillow.

Joshua sighed in complete joy and adoration when you sneaked a look over your arm, laughing in excitement and shame, partly enjoying the loud exhibition of your love at very early hours in the morning.

"Good morning, baby," he sighed, a small groan spilling along.

"Morning, Josh," you replied cutely.

"Hungry?" he breathed with a lazy grin on his face.

"Umn, yeah," you replied aloofly, sinking into your pillow again to enjoy the gentle aftershocks of your orgasm.

He also needed a minute to catch his breath and for his brain to come down to reality and gather up that the neighbors might take an issue with them again.

But he couldn't care less.

You, on the other hand, were mortified.

"Should we... go talk to them?" you asked with a tiny voice, lying motionless below his body.

"And tell them what?" Joshua sighed a smile, running his hands from your lower back upwards, caressing your skin lovingly.

"That we're sorry!" you gasped, but there was a small giggle that quivered in your tone.

"Sorry about what?!" Joshua protested with a faux scandalized tone. "Sorry that we have a good sex life and they don't?"

"Maybe not that, but, sorry that we're loud might work," you retorted.

"I wasn't loud, you were," Joshua teased.

"Josh!" you sent him a glare. "We both were."

"Fine, fine," Joshua conceded with a breathy chuckle. "I could get soundproof padding for the walls and something for the bed frame so it doesn't bang on the wall," he offered, taking your worry seriously.

"Isn't that going overboard?" you inquired with honest curiosity.

"Yes... but also no," he pondered. "I think it would work, and stop the complaints."

"Mmff," you sighed and turned your face flush against the pillows again.

"Come on, baby," he muttered as he pulled his hips back, thus slipping out of your wet walls.

"Just give me a minute," you mumbled on the pillows.

"I'll be waiting for you in the shower," he slapped your ass teasingly one more time and laughed when your squeal was muffled in the pillow.

Joshua had no issue settling in your apartment. When he got back from touring and from all of the appointments he had outstate, you had already made space for him. And he had spent so many nights there that it already felt like home.

But he was convinced that the homely feeling came from your company.

He was just stepping below the shower head when he felt your arms wrapping around his waist, hugging him from behind. You pressed your cheek on his back.

"Hi baby," he sighed, not caring that it was about two minutes ago that he had said just that.

"Is it my turn to make breakfast?" you muttered, pressing small kisses on his back, between his shoulder blades before reaching out with one arm to get the bottle of shampoo.

"Would you like to get breakfast somewhere?" he asked you as he finished rinsing out the shampoo from his golden brown hair. "We could go to that place you like with the banana pancakes..."

"I mean you gotta let me make breakfast one day," you giggled sweetly as you busied your hands on your hair, your fingers massaging shampoo into your scalp made Joshua turn and pay attention to you.

He had been doing that lately. He paid attention to things you do for yourself, no matter how simple or how meaningful they were. He knew that you had changed the color of the polish in your nails, you trimmed your hair and added some new touches here and there.

But also, you also have gotten into some new habits. Such as trying to fix your sleep, you go to the gym more frequently, not as an on and off thing anymore, you go out with your friends more, and the biggest thing he has noticed, is that you did all of this to hide the sadness you actually felt.

It had been weeks since you last talked with Jeonghan. An event that you weren't to talk about with Joshua yet, but he could see that whatever happened, left you pretty bad.

Joshua knew already that he needed to give you time. And he promised you he would be patient if that was what you needed. He didn't need to know what had happened that time you talked, in truth, he ached to hold you, to make you happy again by whatever means necessary.

"We could also go to the book shop afterwards," Joshua offered with a hollow tone, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible but he knew that you were avoiding going out today.

"Okay, that's how I know you're up to something, Mr. Hong," you smiled as you tilted your head to raise your hair.

"I just want to pamper you, Ms. Hong," he joked, but his tone dropped as he uttered those last two words. "Take you on as many dates as possible."

"Mmn, then you got a date, mister," you replied with a playful grin, sliding your arms on his shoulders and locking your wrists behind his neck. "But you gotta let me make breakfast someday, you know. I'm not a bad cook."

Joshua chuckled, but your lips muffled his laugh as he tried to get back at you. "I know, baby. Just let me take you out today."

"Maybe you're just getting away with doing the dishes," you said with a lower and velvety tone.

He was struck with so much adoration for you when he noticed that you were flirting with him. The corners of your eyes were smiling, and the glint in your eye told him that you were feeling the same too.

"You got me," he whispered, dipping his head to meet your lips.

"Mmn, you little deviant," you muttered sultrily, smiling in his lips.

He felt a hand cup his chin as your tongue touched his lower lip. "Look who's talking," he replied when your other hand roamed all over his body, feeling his lean chest first, sliding down to feel the toned muscle of his abdomen.

"I learned from the best," you replied, circling your hands to his back.

Joshua laughed breathily into your mouth.

You clapped your hands giddily as the plate was set in front of you. There sat a fluffy banana pancake, decorated with berries and honey.

Joshua sat just across your seat on the small round table, he was pretending to type something but in reality he was snapping a photo of you looking at your meal.

The first bite made you sway your body in tiny motions, like a little dance with your fists bundled up at your sides as you chewed on your food merrily.

And he watched you in complete delight. Setting his phone down on the table to take a bite from his own plate. "Good?" he muttered as you took another generous bite with near maddening joy.

Food made you happy, in the month he had been living with you he had learned more and more about your favorite foods and general eating habits. So he knew that sugary breakfasts were accompanied with coffee.

You set your mug and licked your lips. "Amazing," you sighed, resuming to eat more banana pancakes.

"Mm," he nodded with a small pleased smile on his face. "Oh, my mom asked about you," he suddenly remembered.

You almost choked on your mouthful. "Huh?!" you uttered as your round cheeks from the food gave you a comical expression. "W-what? Why? When?"

"I think it was... yesterday actually," he mentioned, thoroughly enjoying your reaction. "I told her we could meet one day for dinner or lunch soon."

You swallowed your bite with a bewildered look in your eyes. "Oh, of course why not," you nodded. "I could cook something, I can make a mean lasagna."

A twist in his stomach in pure fondness made him pause when you took on a proud look for yourself. "Oh yeah?" he teased: "Why haven't I tried your lasagna?"

"Because," you elongated the word. "You, mister, keep me out of the kitchen nearly everyday. You don't let me cook for you."

"That's not true," he retorted with a smirk. "It's not everyday."

"I'm not complaining though," you muttered as you pointed at him with your fork.

"I know you aren't," he chuckled.

"Mmm," you hummed as you took another sip of coffee. "Tell mom she's invited to dinner at our place next friday."

"Will do," he smiled, from both your assertiveness and the cuteness you exhibited suddenly.

"Thanks for breakfast, Josh," you muttered, linking your arm with his, your hand grabbing on his bicep comfortably as you both walked on the sidewalk.

"Don't mention it, beautiful," he smiled at you.

Your eyes were marveling at the sight of the cherry blossoms flanking the street you both walked. The grip of your hand on his bicep shifted and tightened, directing a smile at him as you teased him a bit, using the bulge of his arm as a stress ball.

"You're bulkier," you grinned.

"You've mentioned it," he replied in kind.

"I like it," you said and tilted your head to the side so your temple touched his shoulder briefly.

"All for you, baby."

The giggle that spilled from you echoed in his mind. Joshua slipped into what he felt was something that felt like a daze as you aloofly started to hum a tune that you were improvising on the spot. You did that, he noticed, you hummed a beautiful tune happily for two or three seconds and started it again.

Joshua grabbed your hand from his bicep and laced his fingers with yours to then kiss your knuckles one by one, slowly as you both walked down the street.

The sunlight slipped through the branches of the cherry blossom trees, shining in against your beautiful hair, making your cheeks grow hot and when you looked back at him, you smiled, noticing that he was lost in thought.

"Do you want to make a stop at the book shop?" he nodded his head to the small bookshop on the corner of the street.

You pondered for a second, but Joshua knew what your answer would be from the way you were pouting cutely.

"Maybe an hour," you decided.

Joshua pushed the door open for you. "That's what you said last time."

"But last time they had new titles," you countered and giggled shamefully. "Okay, maybe two hours."

"Take as long as you need, baby," he muttered, letting go of your grasp as you were swiftly taken away by the new shiny covers on display.

Joshua gravitated towards you in the maze of shelves, acting as if he were just as interested in the books surrounding you. But he was more raptured by you, by the wonder in your eyes as you picked up book by book to read the covers, to open them up carefully and peer inside.

He just stuck around you, picking up books to just settle them back to their place without even so much as reading one word. You skirted around the shelves, while he just wavered in the distance.

That was until his eyes caught sight of your pen name on a book. Rows of a glossy cover under a sign that said best seller sat the book that was partly responsible for him being there.

Almost as if the book had a magnetic pull on him, he brought one copy from the shelf. Joshua only recognized the book by the title and obviously your pen name, but he realized that he hadn't really paid attention to the work on the illustrated cover.

He remembers seeing it at some point, but almost beat himself up for not paying more attention to it. The cover was pretty, totally eye-catching, but he knew the contents were much, much more impressive.

Joshua read the final manuscript, he also had to read all of your annotations. But it was the first time in a month after the release that he actually held a copy of your book.

He felt dumb for a second. How didn't he get a copy before?

You were submerged in a different book, rows of shelves and far away from him, swaying your body gently to the soft music playing on the speakers overhead.

The first page of your book started with a dedication. Joshua first saw his name written in it, and his stomach dropped.

To Joshua, my favorite plot twist, my endless inspiration. I love you.

Cursing to himself, he slowly closed his eyes. There was no excuse for missing something like this. Not work, not whatever it was that bothered him. This was important to you, your greatest achievement so far, and you dedicated it to him.

And he is just finding it out. A month later.

He thought of something to say to you, an apology, anything.

But at that moment, his phone buzzed in the pocket of his jacket. Pulling it out he saw flashes of a series of notifications from his new management team.

With a resigned sigh, he opened the messages to read that Midnight Haze had secured a bunch of dates for upcoming concerts the weekend after their first self titled album release.

It was huge for him, but it was instantly overshadowed by the thought of leaving you behind again for several weeks at a time. He had been enjoying his quiet life with you so far, and it amazed him how much it bothered him that his career success was not as important to him anymore.

The problem was not that he would leave you alone. Joshua still had trouble with the thought of you hiding away in your study for weeks, being lonely while he goes away and lives the life of a rockstar.

But what bothered him the most was that he was about to leave you when you were going through something that he knew was taking away your sleep, something that had broken your heart.

Joshua knew that Jeonghan had stopped talking to you some weeks ago. After the night of the threesome, and he very evidently showed how he felt about you, you tried to reach him, to talk about it. But he just said he needed time.

Time went by, and you got sadder. Sometimes he heard you in the middle of the night, crying alone. He would ask you about it but you just said you were alright, you said you also needed time. So Joshua gave you that.

But Joshua could not shake the feeling that he was responsible for it all. Deep down he knew that this mess was caused by everyone involved. Still, he was the one that suggested Jeonghan to get closer to you, to be friends. He was the one that left you for weeks and eventually stopped talking as frequently.

What will happen now when he leaves? He knew he would only carry that guilt with him.

Sometimes he missed when he was just a singer in an independent band that had some shows at local bars every now and then. If that were still the case, he would not have to leave you behind.

"Would you like an autograph, sir?" your cute voice snapped him out of his mental turmoil.

Lifting his head up, he found you standing in front of him, unbeknownst to the messages showing on his phone screen sitting on the palm of his hand. You were looking at the copy of your book in his other hand.

"Allow me to buy the copy first, miss," he replied.

"Oh, no don't do that," you muttered, immediately dropping your act. "I was just joking, you don't have to buy it."

"Why don't you like to have copies of your books at home?" he inquired with genuine curiosity.

You shrugged slowly, fingers tracing shapeless doodles over the spine of a book you picked up. "I like to keep my space separate from my work," you smiled shamefully, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "I know it's silly, but I like to pretend that the writer and I are different people."

Joshua tilted his head to one side. "That is a bit more confusing," he chuckled softly.

"Well, that's because you're famous, you like the public acclamation, the fame," you disputed, snatching the book from his hand and placing it back to where he initially found it. "And I don't."

"I'm not famous," he immediately battled, with a shy smile painting his ears red. "And I don't like fame either."

"Yeah right," you quipped with a grin. "I'd beg to differ."

He stretched an arm and grabbed the copy of your book again. "I'm taking this if you don't mind," he said with a faux serious expression. "And I'm getting that autograph."

"What, no, Josh," you pronounced his name with a giggle. "Don't buy it, we have the manuscript at home."

"You can't sign the manuscript," he rolled his eyes and laughed when you tried to grab the book from him but he just kept it in the air and out of your reach.

"What do you want a signed copy for?" you sent him a glare that only made him laugh harder.

"This one has a pretty cover," he shrugged and turned away from you and started walking to the counter to pay.

"Josh!" you gasped and fell into step behind him.

"I expect my autograph," he said, pulling out his phone to pay.

The cashier sent you a look and then to Joshua, who just dismissively smiled, his nose wrinkling a bit in the process. He could see from the corner of his eye how you just sighed in resignation.

"Bunny," Joshua said as he followed you out of the book shop.

"Yes?" you lifted your eyes to lock with his.

"I... thank you for the book dedication," he muttered, grabbing your hand to lace your fingers with his. "I really appreciate it, baby."

"You don't have to thank me for that, Josh," you giggled sweetly. "That's me literally saying thanks for being there, for helping me."

Joshua paid attention to the way you emphasized that word, paired with the shy smile on your face as your gaze dropped to the ground. What you meant by helping, though, was having sex.

"Do you need help with book two?" he grinned.

"Oh my god, Josh," you muttered, teary eyed in embarrassment.

"I can totally help," he teased some more. "Everyday, if you let me. Anything you want to try baby, I'm game."

"You are helping, Josh," you turned to look over your shoulder and deciding no one was listening to your conversation you added: "You are a very diligent source of inspiration."

"You think, baby?" he pressed, holding the door to the building open for you.

You nodded eagerly in affirmation to his question.

"I take my job seriously," he quipped with a laugh. "Anything to help."

After the day-long date, you came back home feeling exhausted, but ready to get some hours of work before heading to bed. Committed was the relationship you had to your writing, a thing you tried to do at least an hour a day.

So Joshua decided to spend the remainder of the day sitting in the living room area. Guitar sitting in his lap, phone ready to record, he tried to emulate the tune he heard you hum, the tune he replayed the whole evening in his head.

Before he knew it, he had recorded a good chunk of melody. He replayed it once, deciding it was good material he sent it right over to Jihoon, presenting it as something they can work on for a ballad.

Content with his day's productivity, he decided to call it a day, being that it was already nightfall and he felt rightfully sleepy.

So he made his way to the place he knew he would find you, happily buried in work. Pushing the door open he found you working on your desk, eyes glued to one of your monitors, typing fast on the keyboard.

He saw that you were wearing your headphones so he went unnoticed completely. Suppressing a small smile, he walked closer to you, being careful as to not startle you as he had done several times in the past.

"Baby," he whispered as he placed his hands on your shoulders, leaning down to press a kiss on your cheek once you slid a hand on top of his.

"Mmn?" you removed your headphones. "What's that?"

"I'm heading to bed," he whispered before pressing another kiss on your cheek. "Wait for you there?"

"Yeah, sure," you turned your head to plant a kiss on his lips. "I'll be there in five."

"If you take longer, I'll come for you," he said, eliciting a chuckle from you.

"That sounds fun," you whispered, pressing your lips against his smirk.

He kissed you one more time before backing away from you and getting ready for bed. His routine was short, consisting of rinsing his face, brushing his teeth and undressing himself.

When he was already lying in the bed, he heard you come in exactly five minutes later, which made Joshua turn his head to look at you curiously.

Noticing that he was still awake and with his gaze trained on you, you began to undress, reaching out for your sleeping clothes in the drawer. You had taken to using one of his t-shirts, which was a few sizes too big for you.

Turning off the bedside lamp, you climbed up the high bed, crawling to the space you had assigned for yourself, but as you slipped beneath the sheets, you immediately attached to his side.

Joshua chuckled softly, wrapping one arm around you as you snuggled to him, fitting your face on the curve of his neck.

"You didn't take long," he pointed, thinking of the times you worked past midnight.

"I'll continue tomorrow," you sighed a yawn. "I want to cuddle with you, is that okay?"

"Of course, baby," he whispered, bringing his other arm to hug you snuggly. "Always."

"Thank you for today, Josh," you muttered sweetly, your hand had started to rub shapeless figures on his chest. "I enjoyed every moment of it."

"You don't have to thank me, bunny," he replied sleepily. "I want to give you more days like this. For the rest of your life if you let me."

That made you giggle in joy. "Be ready to hear me thank you every single day, then."

"Why?"

"Because you make me happy," you muttered, your voice had turned into a tiny coo.

"You make me happy too, baby," he turned his head on the pillow to look at you. "That's the point, right?"

"Mmn, yeah but I want to say thanks anyway," you laughed, realizing how stupid the argument was.

But Joshua smiled, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "I love you," he muttered, caressing your arm with his hand. "I just want to make you happy."

"I love you too," you whispered, sighing a hum. "Let's make each other happy, then."

Joshua was unsure as to how he fell asleep, or how long after he drifted into a peaceful dream. He woke up to distant noises of water boiling, a sizzling sound and then the clinking of metal against ceramic glass.

The bed was cold on your side, when he outstretched his arm he found it empty. Instantly, he knew it was one of those restless nights. Even if you were trying to fix your sleeping habits, you still suffered some insomniac nights.

He waited for some minutes, and then got out of bed, fishing out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt that he had discarded earlier and left on top of the armchair in the room and put them on.

You were sitting on the couch by the window. He noticed that you had drawn the blinds to get the lighting from the restless city outside.

You didn't notice him right away, so he also could tell that you were crying as your teary eyes panned to the hall and found him.

His heart dropped. "You're okay, bunny?" he asked wearily.

Sitting down on the couch beside you, he kept some distance from you, giving you space in case that was you needed.

"Yeah, I'm okay," you smiled, pressing your lips together.

He nodded slowly, averting his gaze to his lap. "Do you want to talk about it?" he offered, holding in his breath.

This would probably be the time, he thought. He wished you would finally air out your troubles with him. It was the third time he had woken up to your cries, he silently counted. And he suspected that you were hiding from him to let your feelings out, suspected you weren't sharing your feelings with him to avoid more conflict.

"I'm just thinking, Josh," you said with a dismissive tone. "Everything's okay."

You took three big gulps from the tea that you drink to help you sleep. Grimacing at the taste you put it back to the coffee table and shifted on the couch closer to Joshua until your bodies touched.

"What do you think about?" he asked gently, the weariness coating his tone was still there.

A long sigh made your chest rise and fall, more tears kept rolling down your cheeks and you shook your head, signaling your reluctance to talk about it.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No, I..." you choked on your words and before he could move, you took his hand. "I'm just being a bit emotional. That's it."

"You can trust me," he whispered, raising his eyes to find your grief stricken face.

"I know," you replied in kind. "I know, Josh."

You picked up your tears with the pad of your thumb, sniffing quietly as you seemed to calm yourself down. But you wouldn't make eye contact with him, your hand held his tightly, but it seemed that you weren't opening up just yet.

"Baby..." he whispered, following your eyes. "I want you to talk to me. I'm waiting for you night and day to open up but you just won't. Do you think that I don't know what you've been going through?"

Your eyebrows pinched together in confusion but they quickly went lax, coming to a realization that he knew. All along he silently bore witness to your pain and your mourning to your friendship with Jeonghan.

"I've heard you cry before too," he confessed, a painful jab making him shudder. "I know you told me to give you space but you don't have to. I think that you will feel better when you talk to Jeonghan and whatever you decide to do... I'm ready."

"What are you saying?" you croaked, sniffing loudly and bringing up a hand to wipe your tears.

"I'm... saying that if you–," a strangled sound interrupted him, and he had to pause to gather his thoughts, drawing a big gulp of air as he sighed the next words: "Whatever you need to do when you talk to him, I'm ready... to take it."

"What?!" you gasped with a bewilderment that almost made you stop your tears. "You're not taking anything, Joshua. Who do you think I am?"

"I'm just saying, whatever you feel like you have to do, I'll understand…. I just want you to be happy again," his eyes inevitably rolling upward, trying to resist the angry tears stinging his eyes.

"Have you lost your mind, Joshua?" you asked, watching him nearly vibrate in what you assume was a very undesirable remorse.

"I think so, yes," he said slowly, now looking at you. "It kills me to wake up and hear you crying in the middle of the night. I hate that you pretend to be alright instead of trusting me with what's hurting you."

"What hurts me hurts you," you said in a weak tone, crossing your arms over your chest in what he recognized as a mechanism to hold yourself together.

"Is that why you won't open up to me? Because you don't want to hurt me?"

You slowly nodded with your head, biting your lip to make it stop quivering, though it was futile.

"I just want you to trust me," Joshua whispered, and your eyes widened when his tone faltered. "It's the only thing I care about."

"Joshua, I..." you started, but you were at a loss of words.

"We can't keep doing this to each other," he whispered, shuddering under the stress of finally being vulnerable with you. "I want to help you but you need to let me in."

"I don't want this to affect us," you replied with an air of surrender, it was quite evident that it was too late for that.

At that, he knew he had nothing to say. He had caused all this, no matter how much he wanted you to open up, he was being a hypocrite. His attempt to make you trust him with this fell completely disingenuous since he was also keeping things from you.

He shifted on his seat, opening his arms to you. "Come here," he whispered and you promptly crawled wight into his embrace, crying freely on his shoulder. "I just don't want you to go through this on your own, baby," he said shakily, swallowing his own guilt-ridden tears. "But if it's what you want I get it. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," you replied in a tiny voice.

"No, don't be," he muttered. "I know this is hard for you... this is hard for me too, but it shouldn't have to be, baby. We are together to lift each other up, aren't we? No matter what tries to bring us down."

Joshua could feel your fingers clinging onto his shoulders, your face pressed flush against his chest as you sobbed and cried hard, harder than he had heard you ever.

"All I'm trying to say is... trust that I won't walk away from you. Not because of this, not ever," Joshua gulped, a hand finding the back of your head to hug you tightly. "I love you and I trust you."

"I love you too... and I trust you, Joshua," you replied with a hoarse tone from crying. "But, how can I tell you about this? I don't know how I would feel the roles were reversed. If you told me you felt something for someone else... I don't know how I'd react."

Joshua had been over this scenario on his head multiple times. "It's different," he said with an air of decisiveness. "I don't think this is as straightforward, baby."

You felt him press his lips on the crown of your head for a long minute.

"But more importantly... you can tell me anything, baby," he muttered, closing his eyes slowly as he sighed. "Even if it's about Jeonghan."

There was a pause, between him waiting for your answer patiently and you gathering your thoughts. This was definitely not something you had expected from your boyfriend. Granted, he had been extremely reasonable about your feelings for Jeonghan.

"I just want him to know that I'm sorry," you sobbed quietly, holding onto his shirt.

Joshua felt the small wet patches on his chest from your tears, he held you tighter against his body, when the painful jab of remorse returned.

"Have you tried talking to him?" he pried with a fear pulsing in his throat.

"Last time I tried he told me he's not ready," you replied and your tone weakened. "He stopped replying to my texts two weeks ago."

His arms wrapped your body tighter. "I'm sorry, bunny," he replied with honesty.

But a part of him burned with rage. He wasn't in the least bit pleased that Jeonghan had feelings for you, but on top of that he hated that he was making you suffer. Joshua understood that Jeonghan needed time to think, since this was a very complicated situation they were all embroidered in.

Still, he hated to see you cry.

"Maybe I can talk to him," he offered softly, resting his cheek on the crown of your head, his arms still cradling your body.

In all this time, Jeonghan and Joshua had not spoken, nor crossed paths. The reason why in reality was that Joshua had nothing to say. And if he thought of something to say, he wouldn't mean it.

In part, he felt betrayed by his best friend. Even if all of this was partly his doing, he started all of this. But still, there was a nagging feeling in him that no matter what he did, he couldn't shake it off.

"Maybe I can call him, ask him to hear you out. Would you like that baby?" he asked, now moving his head to see your face.

You mumbled something that resembled an affirmation. But you had already drifted into a slumber, losing the fight against the powerful sleeping tea that you didn't even finish drinking.

He certainly didn't take that to be an actual affirmation on your part. But he thought he might as well try. Because he had to at least try to fix something from this mess.

Joshua held you until he was certain you were completely asleep. Subconsciously, he started humming that song again as he memorized again the features of your face with the pads of his fingers, grazing your skin ever so gently that you never felt a thing.

He loved you. He ached at the thought of losing you all for his stupidity, for his blind jealousy.

Slowly, he leaned so he could rest his forehead on the crown of your head. I'm sorry, he pleaded silently, I love you.

Cradling you in his arms, he stood up from the couch, carrying you straight to bed where the covers were already drawn so he just easily laid you down, tucking you in.

He asked himself if he was even worthy of being your lover. Holding you like this, sleeping next to you after a day of showing you how much he loved you, he wondered if his love would amount to something enough for you. Mistakes and all.

The Spot was as busy as any thursday.

It had been a while since Joshua's last visit. He had some memories of being wasted, to the point that he fell asleep on the barstool he was sitting at, his head propped in the lacquered red bartop.

It seemed funny to him that Jeonghan was sitting in the same place now.

His fingers were toying with the neck of the empty bottle of beer, his head leaned forwards, eyes out of focus.

Joshua silently sat beside his best friend, drawing his attention to him with a dreary look. "Hey."

"Hi," Joshua replied with an empty smile.

"How did you know I was here?" Jeonghan asked, but his hollow tone implied that he knew, but just wanted to confirm his suspicions.

"I had someone on the lookout for you tell me," he informed, Jeonghan nodded and signaled to the person behind the bar with just two fingers.

"Thank you Mingoo," Jeonghan said, the hollow tone persisting.

Jeonghan had ordered two bottles of beer one for Joshua and one for himself, which upon arriving he took a sip of his own, directing a cold look at Joshua.

"I know why you're here."

Joshua took a deep breath through his nose, looking straight in front of him and he felt his own eyes fall out of focus as his mind began to reel.

"Tell me why I'm here," Joshua muttered, trying not to roll his eyes.

Jeonghan frowned, for the first time in the whole interaction he showed a sign of some shred of emotion. The confused look told Joshua that his best friend might have expected a confrontation like this, but maybe he was not ready yet.

"You want to talk about that night," Jeonghan muttered slowly, the frown still painting small lines between his eyebrows. "But there's nothing to talk about. I am sorry about... everything."

Jeonghan averted his gaze in front of him and took another generous gulp of beer. Joshua knew what he meant by everything, about violating his trust, about letting his feelings for you grow. Or at least, that was how Jeonghan saw it.

Jeonghan still wore one of your scrunchies around his wrist. Joshua closed his eyes as the flashing feeling of remorse coursed through him.

"You're wrong."

His best friend paused as he was about to lift the bottle from the surface of the bar. Slowly, the black haired man turned in the barstool to face Joshua, tilting his head to one side ever so slightly.

"Tell me how I'm wrong," he retorted.

"I'm not here to talk about that night," Joshua began to explain, taking another gulp of beer to gain some very much needed courage. "Nor do I want you to apologize for anything."

Jeonghan pursed his lips into a pout, almost as though he wanted to ask a big, "What?" but refrained from doing so.

"I..." Joshua started, sending a look to the dim lamps on the ceiling, he took another deep breath but it felt like no matter how many times he did that, the restless beating of his heart wouldn't let him free. "I need you to talk to her, Jeonghan... I need you two to talk."

Jeonghan froze, the only part of his body that moved was the pair of brown eyes, scanning Joshua's face over and over again.

"Why?"

The question was uttered slowly and pointedly. Almost as if Jeonghan were avoiding falling into a trap into the deeper parts of this conversation that both men were avoiding to have for nearly a month.

"Because you both need it," Joshua said but he immediately wanted to retract himself, shaking his head once. "She needs it, Jeonghan."

Joshua exhaled hoarsely, feeling that if he didn't hit pause he would soon suffer a mental breakdown. It was driving him crazy, it was burning what peace he had left to ashes.

Some nights had passed since Joshua saw you crying in the living room. You were reluctant to talk about that night again, and the memory of you crying refused to leave his mind. It was robbing him of sleep, of peace. He needed to do something.

There was a general understanding that Jeonghan saw right away. In more than three weeks of not speaking to each other, Jeonghan knew his best friend would not be asking that unless it was completely serious.

But he couldn't bring himself to say yes. By now, he was confused as to how much Joshua knew about what happened that night. Did you tell him about the conversation that led him to this moment? Is Joshua sitting here asking him to reach out to you, his own girlfriend without knowing how Jeonghan felt about you?

If he did know about it all, this was a very strange request to ask the guy that very evidently had feelings for you.

But if Joshua did not know...

"I need to know why," Jeonghan insisted, making Joshua dart a look his way swiftly.

"I told you why."

That much told his best friend that he was bluffing, making Jeonghan huff. "You're not here just because you want us to talk," he grimaced slightly, now toying with the bottle in his hand. "There's more. There's always more with you."

Joshua sighed, letting his eyes close briefly. "I'm leaving in a few weeks," Joshua admitted, licking his lips in an irked way.

"Ah, there it is," Jeonghan nodded with realization, and then he sighed too. "I can't keep doing this, Joshua."

The uneasy feeling invading his chest made him breathe near erratical. It hurt him to know that he caused all of this, and now the two most important people in his life were hurting too.

"I don't care," Joshua said with an annoyed hint in his tone, casting a glance at him. There he saw the guilt in his best friend's eyes too and his heart twisted even more before he blurted: "Just this once, and I'll leave you alone if that's what you want."

That definitely awoke an intrigue in him. "Does your girlfriend know you're here?" he inquired, pinning without much effort something that Joshua decided to omit.

"No and I'd like to keep it that way," he replied pointedly, setting the bottle down with a harsh thump. "Please. For now."

The two men exchanged a long glance that told years of knowing each other so deeply, they had learned to communicate without words. Jeonghan saw the desperation, the guilt and remorse in Joshua's eyes.

"Okay," his best friend replied, but the intrigue and the confusion didn't subside. "I will. I'll talk to her."

"Thank you," he muttered quietly, averting his gaze elsewhere. "I'm sorry about all of this too, Jeonghan. I know you didn't want any of it but if you love her, you'll listen to what she has to say."

Jeonghan froze. Slowly processing what he just heard, he waited for Joshua's next bluff, he waited for something to tell him that he might have misheard but before he could even protest, lie, or negate it, Joshua was already leaving his seat.

"So you do know."

"Please," he said, pulling out his wallet and drawing out a bill which he placed beneath his empty beer bottle. "I know you better than anyone else. Trust me, I know."

Completely thrown off, Jeonghan watched his best friend walk out of the bar, thus leaving him with much to think and no clear sign as to where to begin.

The ride back home was quiet. Joshua remained deep in thought for the whole half an hour, silently thanking that it was about nine o'clock and traffic was busy. He needed the extra minutes to think as to what he was doing, how he would confront you.

Ever since that night, Joshua had encountered a dilemma. He knew that you had feelings over Jeonghan, and that to some degree, it was mutual. He saw the hurt in your eyes afterwards, the inwardly quietness of your mourning of a friendship with him.

And now, he saw the same in Jeonghan. He saw the morose pain of losing you, of not being able to reach you. Something Joshua himself knew too well.

But what killed him was that this was somehow a result of his own choices. He asked Jeonghan to get closer to you, he left you for a month, it was a recipe for disaster.

And it wasn't that he didn't trust you, he did. And he trusts his best friend as well.

Even though he hated himself for all of this, he couldn't help but live in the memory of that night. It made him sick that, even if he had double intentions, he enjoyed it by far more than he had originally thought.

He felt sticky.

But he constantly thought of that night, he vexedly thought of how much he enjoyed watching you and Jeonghan having sex in front of him. It was like he saw a different version of you, and for some reason he could not pinpoint, he loved it.

It was fucked up, he knew that. He didn't know if he would ever confess that to you. But he suspected you knew it already, because he didn't make an attempt to hide it. Joshua liked the way the three of you moved seamlessly, almost as if... it were meant to be.

He felt torn.

Torn between hating himself and thinking of that night. Hating himself for playing with his best friend's feelings and for lying to you. Torn with jealousy because his best friend had feelings for you, but every time he thought of that night, he grew hard at the memory of you fucking Jeonghan.

As soon as Joshua crossed the door, he knew that you were working in your studio. All of the lights were out, leaving the apartment in a somber quietness that was only interrupted by the echoing traffic noise outside.

The curtains were drawn, so the living room was dimly illuminated by the city lights. Joshua discarded his shoes by the entrance before making his way to turn on the lamp on the corner of the room and then went looking for you.

Gently, he pushed the door to your studio, finding the only source of light being your double monitors. You didn't budge, partly because your noise cancellation headphones kept you from knowing Joshua had arrived home.

Joshua leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms as he watched briefly you typing away, every now and then you bobbed your head to what he presumed was the song you were listening to.

He didn't want to pry, because he suspected that times when you were deep into your writing session, you wanted to be left alone. Sometimes, when you were not as busy, he would crash on the small couch next to your desk.

Those times, he would lie idly scrolling on his phone or playing his acoustic guitar. But inevitably, he would fall into a distraction. Just as he was now, lost in the imagination of a life with you, the cherishing of the moments he can get like this.

Before he has to go away again.

Something made you stop typing and you pushed the keyboard in as a sign of termination. A few clicks and then you reluctantly turn your head, as though you already knew he was standing there.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hover," he smiled softly at you.

You grabbed your headset and pulled your head back out of it. "You're back!" you sighed in a pleased surprise. "Hi handsome."

A surge of tenderness and warmth washed over him, suddenly being overcome with the need to melt into you.

"Hi beautiful," he replied, his voice sounding a little hoarse.

He crossed the distance between the door to your study to your armchair and before you could get to your feet, he was already leaning down, grabbing your chin with two fingers to kiss you. It was a brief, tender kiss that ended with a small smacking sound and a hum from you.

"Someone's in a mood," you noticed right away with a tiny smile. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's okay," he whispered before diving again into your soft lips, capturing them with a low hum from his part now, trying to wordlessly let you know that he needed you.

"Okay," you replied in a mere whisper, taken away by the urgency to which your lips were being hugged by his now.

"Are you done with that?" he asked, his voice raspy to what he assumed was the need, the love and adoration he felt for you flooding inside him.

"No, not yet," you replied with a playful grin. "Why?"

Joshua thought of the way you elongated that question, the taunting velvety tone you gave to it. "Because I was thinking of you on my way back," he mumbled, still littering kisses on your lips, moving to one of your cheeks as he kept speaking. "I remembered that I owe you a massage."

"Well then get on with it," you let out a small chuckle that sounded sweet to him, though it was playful. "You don't need to be all over me to do it, Mr. Hong."

That made him laugh in both awe and lack of words.

So he just simply scooped you up off your chair. He initially crouched a little, securing your body with his hands as you wordlessly understood what he intended to do and reached out to wrap your legs around his waist.

Not without some struggle due to the darkness, he searched his way to the bedroom, where Joshua quite literally threw you to the bed, sighing with amusement as he heard you squeak when you landed on the mattress.

You looked at him up and down, a glint of excitement in your eyes.

But Joshua found it hard to move for a moment. The way that you looked at him made him freeze, he found the love and carnal need in your eyes and he almost had to slap himself.

The pause was brief but you noticed. "Come here," you muttered sweetly, reaching out a hand to him.

Joshua climbed on the high bed, placing each of his hands at your sides, his body hovering on top of yours as he slowly propped his knees and elbows to pin your body down with his.

"How was your thing with the boys?" you asked as he planted a tender kiss on the apple of your cheek. "I actually thought you'd be gone for longer."

A sharp pain tugged at his insides. You didn't know he had gone out to meet Jeonghan, and he felt bad for lying to you. He felt bad at how easily he could craft a story to deceive you.

"It was fine," he whispered, taking advantage of the position of his face, so you couldn't see his eyes, probably translating the restlessness he felt inside.

"Did you guys have fun?" you asked and he knew you were just trying to make normal conversation.

"Yeah, you know them," he sighed, trying to make his voice sound at ease. "They're pretty chill."

You shuddered slightly when his breath caressed a sensitive spot on your neck as he leaned to press more kisses on your skin, his heart deflating at every second he waited for your next question. But luckily you quickly shifted your attention to his lips reaching your collarbones.

Your hand slid on the nape of his neck. "Oh, Josh..." you whispered shakily, a small moan coiling when he didn't care to get rid of the t-shirt you were wearing, which he noticed was his.

He cupped your breasts with his hands, fingers digging gently on the cotton fabric as he pressed his mouth on your already pebbled nipple, which he teased with his lips and teeth, gently to not hurt you but harsh enough to make your breath hitch embarrassingly.

"I thought I was getting a massage," you mumbled faintly, your hands searching his body for somewhere to hold onto, a hand deciding to tangle on his long golden hair while the other parked on his back.

"You'll get it, baby," he replied in kind, his hands searching for your shorts, practically ripping them off of you. "But right now I need you."

"Slow down, Josh," you sighed bemusedly as he tossed the shorts to the floor.

"Sorry," he whispered, pressing more kisses into your lips, those becoming more and more heated and hasty. "I really need you."

With a low hum, you were quickly subdued to his carnal desire, holding onto his shoulders your hands roamed all over his back. "You don't want to take this off?" you muttered, fingers tugging on the jacket on his shoulders.

"Yeah, okay," he breathed. Then he pulled back, yanking his brown jacket. And with a thrust of his arm, he carelessly tossed the jacket to the floor.

The sight made you tilt your head on the pillows. "I want the t-shirt gone too, Joshua," you mumbled with a small smile tugging at your lips.

Joshua gave no thought to your command and obliged wordlessly. He just saw the glint in your eyes as his hands searched for the hem of the white t-shirt, pulling it over his head with one motion of his arms.

And just as he began to lean towards your body on the bed, you stopped him. You just lifted one leg from the bed, placing your foot between his pecs.

"Jeans too," you said sultrily quirking up an eyebrow at him. Though there was a noticeable quiver in your tone due to nervousness, the darkened look in your eyes convinced him.

Lately, you have been trying your hand at taking control in the bedroom. A few commands here and there, until you grow more and more sheepish and beg him to retake control. Though obviously not without some teasing from his part.

But tonight, Joshua thought that maybe this is just what he needed. He needed to disconnect his mind from all that troubled him, he needed you to have your fun with him, to use him, to punish him.

So he climbed off the bed, unbuckling his belt, the clinking sound as it dangled made you prop half of your body with your elbows to keep looking at his body as he became progressively more naked.

He stepped out of his light blue jeans, sneaking a glance up at you in your bed as he started to crawl back on top of you. You were biting your bottom lip, hiding an excited smile as you saw his beautiful tanned skin, his bulging biceps and toned pecs.

"You're so hot," you welcomed him wrapping your arms around his neck as he hovered on top of you, meeting your lips with his own with soft and wet kisses. "And mine."

That made him smile as he kissed you deeper. "All yours," he whispered, feeling weak over the way you hummed happily in his mouth, your hands roaming all over his back.

"Yeah, baby?" you mumbled, your voice tiny but still in a taunting purr. A perfect mimic to his own voice when he is the one in control. "Will you do something for me then?"

"Anything," he breathed, his lips finding a sensitive spot on your neck quite effortlessly, just to hear your breath hitch and feel how your body tensed up.

"Get the handcuffs," you murmured into his ear, your fingers raking through his golden hair in a response to your own nervousness.

Joshua paused, but he didn't think of questioning you, or teasing you. He pulled back to see the certainty in your eyes and nodded, making his way to the dresser where you both kept a variety of sex toys and other accessories.

As he got the pink handcuffs he got for you in what felt like forever ago, not mere months, you got to your knees and reached out to your nightstand.

Immediately, he got a notion of what your plan was when he eyed the blindfold in your hands.

"Can you–," you paused, gathering your words in your mind before trying again. "Lie down for me, Josh."

He tried to conceal a smirk by biting his lower lip. But he obliged anyway, partly because he wanted to see where you would go with this. But on the other hand, he ached for you.

"Hands up," you breathed nervously, but the excitement in your eyes made him beam at you. You smiled and nodded your head at the railings of the headboard. "Don't make me ask again."

Anticipation ran thick and heavy through his body. His eyes remained trained on you as he raised his arms over his head, fingers grazing the rails.

You sat back on your heels, hovering over him as you reached out to secure the cuffs around his wrists. You noticed his eyes focused on your face, noticed the dark and greedy need that was slowly eating him from the inside.

"Be good for me," you whispered with a sheepish smile, leaning down to press your lips against his.

"Always am," he breathed, sounding hoarse from the urgent desire beating fast in his throat.

"We'll see about that, baby," you replied, so close to his own face still that he could feel the smile curving in your lips.

Joshua closed his eyes, letting go of his worries when your lips met his again. The pain and remorse slowly blended with the deep craving for your touch, for your love and undivided attention. Selfish, he told himself with a slight rush of guilt, but he couldn't bring himself to stop you.

Because your lips were on his. He swore he could melt into your gentle touch, the tenderness to which you always seem to carry yourself even in moments like this. He hadn't known a tender kiss like yours.

But you quickly progressed into a deeper, heated kiss, tugging at his lower lip with your teeth, making him groan quietly. "You look so hot like this," you said in a breathy mewl, slowly moving your knees to his sides.

Straddling him, you ran a hand from his forehead to the crown of his head, fingers skating through the golden locks of his hair, looking at him with a glint of mischief in your eyes.

"I have a confession to make," you smiled sweetly, your hand left his hair, sliding a fingertip from his cheekbone to his chin. "I was also thinking about you before you got home."

"Y-you were?" he had to swallow hard, his voice sounded hoarse from the lust, love and adoration slowly consuming him whole.

"Yeah," you breathed before biting on your lower lip. "I couldn't even focus on my writing."

"What were you thinking about?" he asked with a low murmur as you continued to litter his skin with wet kisses, he shuddered hard when your sweet breath caressed the curve of his neck.

"I thought of the things I want to do to you," you said breathily, you trailed down to his collarbones, sneaking a glance at him with a sheepish smile. "Have I ever told you?"

Joshua shifted in his position slightly, the metal chain linking the cuffs clanked against the rails of the headboard. "No, I don't think so," he whispered, closing his eyes when you resumed with your little trail of kisses on his skin.

There was a single mole sitting perfectly between his pecs, which you kissed lovingly as your fingers skated on his chest, caressing over, a thumb circling around his nipple just as your mouth kissed the other.

The strangled sound that came from Joshua made you grin, he felt it on his skin as you hummed bemusedly. Joshua was sensitive around his chest area, and you were always so excited to find out just how far you could go.

"I think of having you like this," you raised your eyes to his hands cuffed to the headboard, his beefy biceps framing his golden brown head. "I thought of kissing every single inch of your body."

Joshua made note of the punctuated manner you delivered the last few words, he thought of how sultrily you sounded. Sweet and dangerous.

"I thought of teasing you, marking you..." you gave him a bashful look, trying to bite your own smile as you moved to kiss his other nipple. "I want to see how obedient you can be."

Joshua closed his eyes again, trying to put no resistance to your newly found dominance over him. Raking your fingernails over his chest, littering him with feathery kisses that made him suck in a breath.

"Fuck," he squeezed his eyelids tightly when you suckled the skin on the underside of one of his pecs. His body tensed up, the cuffs clanking against the headboard. "Baby..."

"Mm? How does that feel, Josh?" you asked, a smile playing on your lips.

"Good," he breathed, licking his lips.

"Yeah?" you cocked your head to one side cutely, puckering your glossy lips before attaching them to his skin.

"Yeah..." he replied faintly, limbs relaxing into pleasure when your lovebites became harsher, mercilessly marking his skin.

He vaguely remembered the time where he didn't let anyone so much scratched his skin. He belonged to no one, so no one would leave a mark.

And there he was. Willingly subduing himself to you, letting you leave your mark on his skin, because he was completely yours.

"Stay still," you advised with a low tone before running your tongue on the recently marked area, which was already tingling.

But he couldn't help it, he tensed again, flinching so abruptly that his body nearly made yours jump.

"Joshua," you warned sternly.

"Sorry. Sorry, baby," he rasped with a laugh that remarked on his shyness. "I'm not used to this."

He was usually the one in control. The one torturing you with slow kisses, and you the one cuffed to the headboard. So the times you actually had him at your mercy were very few.

"Mmn, then I think I'll put this on you," you grabbed the blindfold that you had placed aside. "I'll remove it only if you behave."

Joshua didn't try to hide his discontent with that, sending you a glare before lifting his head from the pillows to let you secure the blindfold around his head, covering his eyes.

"There you go," you whispered. "Good boy."

Your fingers slid to cup his chin before capturing his lips with your own in a heated kiss. His tongue swept inside your mouth, muffling a raspy moan that denoted his need for you.

"If you misbehave again, I'll just use my toys and force you to watch," you muttered, emboldened by the absence of his attentive gaze on you now.

"I'll behave," he replied immediately, ignoring the quivering in his tone. "Please, just... don't stop."

There was a pause, your fingers left his chin and with a painful jab in his chest he considered pleading with you to remove his cuffs, maybe just release one of his hands. He wanted to feel you, to ease the ache eating him from the inside.

"Baby? Please," he whispered, licking his lips with some anxiousness. "Please keep going."

"Mmn, someone's a little impatient," you cooed, he could hear you smiling through your tone. "Why are you in a rush? We have all night, baby."

He cursed at himself silently for teaching you everything you were doing. But he couldn't deny that he was enjoying this way too much.

You sat back, pressing your clothed pussy on the hard bulge beneath his boxers. "Oh," you breathed upon feeling the small wet patch on the stretchy and dark fabric he still wore. You had scooted back a little sitting now on his strong thighs.

The next thing he felt was strands of your hair caressing his abdomen before you pressed more kisses around his belly button. Joshua had to ball his hands into fists to avoid jumping dramatically on the bed.

"Fuck," he breathed, feeling your fingers hooking on the band of his boxers and he braced himself, biting hard on his lower lip as your lips pressed more kisses down his happy trail.

Your fingers pushed the waistband of his boxers down further, a sigh of something that sounded close to awe spilled from your lips when his erection slapped his lower abdomen.

You crawled backwards to pull his boxers down his long legs, with a bit of his help. "Have I told you how much I like this?" you whispered, running a finger through his soft pubic hair.

"Maybe," he sighed, suppressing a shudder.

"Baby, I don't think I'd ever seen you this wet," you pointed with a gentle tone.

A finger circled around his slit, gathering the precum on his cockhead. "Mmn," you hummed softly, making him assume that you were licking the precum off your own fingers.

"Baby," he whispered with a near palpable urgency. "Please..."

"Yes, Josh?"

"Please don't make me wait," he pleaded, his voice raspy and he hated how needy he sounded but at the same time he wouldn't dare to pretend otherwise.

"Why should I?" you asked.

"I'll be good, just..." he sighed when your hand started caressing his thighs. "Let me feel you, baby, please..."

"Like this?" you muttered, your hand circling around his length and started stroking him slowly.

He groaned, sinking his head back in the pillows, his heart constricting. "No, baby, not like that," he gasped, but his mouth fell slowly when your grip became tighter around him, moving on his hard cock faster.

You rolled your hand on his bulbous head expertly, smearing his precum all over his veiny shaft, the jerking of your hand causing a wet sound.

"Then how, Josh?" you cooed, making him once again to be rid of the blindfold to see your face. "You don't like this?"

You were probably biting your lip over the sight of him trying to behave and follow your command. You were probably reveling at the sight of him subdued to you, the twitching of his fingers, his throat bobbing.

"I–, I do," he rasped. "Can I have your mouth? Please baby, I'm being good," he whispered, moving his head sideways to muffle a moan against his own bicep when he felt your pretty lips on one of his thighs.

"Mmmn, I guess..." you sighed with a pleased tone. But you didn't give him what he wanted right away.

"Please," he whispered, his thighs tensing involuntarily when your lips kissed closer to his crotch on his thigh. "Please, please..."

"I'll give you my mouth," you conceded, the movement of your hand didn't relent in speed, didn't relax your grip. "But you're going to tell me when you're close."

He nodded frantically.

"Good boy," you whispered, your fist slowed down but you continued jerking him off, giving him a broad stroke of your tongue on the underside of his cock, trailing down to his balls.

"Fuck," he clenched his jaw tightly, the muscle on his abdomen tensing before he groaned gutturally. "Fuck, fuck, baby..."

"Do you like that?" you asked swiftly, your hand rolling over his cockhead to spread his precum all over his cock before you wrapped your mouth on his balls, sucking slightly, testing for his reaction.

"Y-yeah," he croaked, craning his neck as his head sunk on the pillows.

The gentle slurping sound that came from your mouth only egged him on, but he forced himself to ground his body on the bed, the only part of his body allowed to move was his mouth as he moaned breathily.

"So good," he murmured faintly. swearing he could see colors as your mouth continued to suck on his balls, your hand pumping him languidly, distractedly.

"Remember what I told you." you muttered before wrapping your mouth around his cockhead, licking him slowly, as if simulating an open kiss, tasting the salty precum.

"God, fuck," he gasped, moaning hoarsely when you sank your mouth on him, hollowing your cheeks out as you moved up, swirling around the bulbous head. "Baby, I don't think I'll last long."

But you continued bobbing your head up and down his cock, your hand pumping on the base, tongue swirling, sucking him harder.

"Baby, I'm close," he croaked with urgency. "I'm close, fuck, fuck."

You stopped a second later, detaching your mouth and hand altogether from his throbbing cock as he groaned loudly, panting as though he had run a marathon. Even with the blindfold still on, he squeezed his eyes, scrunching in the fleeting attempt to resist his climax.

"Good?" you asked quietly when his breathing calmed down.

"Good," he nodded.

"If I take this off, will you continue to be good?" you asked, lifting a side of the blindfold.

"I promise," he gasped, still sounding breathless. "Please."

The blindfold was slid up carefully. Joshua lifted his head to help you get rid of the headband and placed his head back into the pillows with a pleased sigh.

"Thank you," he whispered, he could finally see you now.

You were still wearing his oversized t-shirt, and panties. But upon scanning you up and down, he noticed your demeanor, the mischievous glint in your eyes as you went back to your position between his spread legs.

"You're being so good, baby," you whispered, sending him a glance. A smirk crowned your glistening lips.

You were relishing at the sight of him handcuffed to the rails of your bed, chest covered in new hickeys, golden brown hair disheveled, eyes wild in lust.

"Where were we?" you asked with feigned innocence, wrapping one hand around his wet cock. "Do you want more, baby?"

Joshua released a sigh through gritted teeth, bracing himself for more torture. Nodding, he replied with a strangled groan. "Please."

"Tell me when you're close again," you whispered before kissing the tip of his cock, gathering the precum with your tongue with a pleased moan.

Now that he had a view of what you were doing to him, he knew that he wouldn't last long.

An urgent, breathy moan spilled from him the moment you wrapped your mouth around him, sinking down on him expertly, taking him wholly. The sight of his cock disappearing in your mouth was near maddening.

"Fuck!" he gasped, tugging at the pink handcuffs in a knee jerk reaction. His thumb brushed the button that could set his wrists free, but he didn't press down on it, the thought didn't even cross his mind.

He ground his hips down on the bed in an attempt to not push them into your mouth. He ached to come... he ached to hear you give him the permission to do so.

"Baby..." he mumbled. "God, that feels so good."

He closed his eyes briefly, gritting his teeth tightly but nothing worked, his ears buzzed, he could taste the sweet release, see it behind his closed eyes in colors and stars.

The wet, smacking sounds that came from your mouth was the only thing he could register for a moment. The quietness in the room overtaken by the sounds created by your mouth, relentlessly going up and down on his hard cock, your drool dripping onto his hilt and his balls.

"Bunny, I'm going to come," he mumbled faintly, he cleared his throat once and insisted. "God, baby, I'm close."

You stopped again, but this time Joshua only breathed deeply, eyes closed to focus on bringing himself back down. He knew that if he saw your face, he wouldn't be able to make it.

"Mmmn," he heard you hum in thought. "Such a good boy. Look."

Obfuscated, he opened his eyes to see you swipe a thumb on his slit, not without some flinching from his part. You had picked up a white bead of his cum and now directing a lascivious glance at him, you took the pad of your thumb to your mouth.

"You're good at resisting your orgasm for me," you pointed with a small smirk. "I wonder if you'll be this good when you're inside me."

He shook his head slightly. "I don't think I can last longer," he mumbled, frowning slightly. "I need to come, baby. Please, let me come."

You tilted your head to one side cutely. "But I'm just starting to have fun," you pouted, but a smile broke your bratty act.

"And I'll make you feel good," he offered with some urgency coating his words. "Please? I'll do whatever you want, just please... let me come."

"Mmmm," you pretended to consider his plea, pursing your lips and looking upwards. "Fine. But only because you're being good."

You leaned your mouth down on him again, looking at him straight in his eyes as you continued to suck the life out of him, bobbing your head up and down, doing everything you know drives him absolutely crazy.

"Fuck," he sighed, balling his hands into fists the moment you hollowed your your cheeks, swiping your tongue around the very sensitive cockhead. "God, baby! Just like that, please, please..."

He lifted his head from the pillows, breathing embarrassingly hard and loud, being so close to his orgasm his thighs and abdomen had already tensed in anticipation.

A breathy moan escaped him once again, making him sound weak and pathetic but he couldn't care less. Your beautiful eyes were locked with his, enjoying every reaction he gave you.

"I'm close," he warned, letting his head fall back onto the pillows. "Baby, baby... fuuuuuck."

You sucked him harder, your tongue pleasured his cockhead eliciting one long raspy moan from him as ropes of cum spilled from him and onto your mouth. You swallowed instantly, looking at him babble and incoherent things to you.

"Thank you," he breathed. "Thank you, baby," he said over and over, breathing hard, eyes closed tightly as he enjoyed every second of his orgasm.

You kept swallowing until he stopped cumming in your mouth and you finished with a loving kiss that you pressed on the reddened tip of his cock.

"Good?" he heard you mumble.

"Good," he replied with a shy smile and opened his eyes.

You looked pleased with your work, in fact you were almost considering calling it a night and skip to aftercare. You leaned forward, reaching the cuffs with a hand and pressed the release button.

"You were so good, Josh," you smiled cutely at him before kissing his studded brow.

His hands searched for you, landing on the line of your back as he kissed whatever part of you he could find, his lips brushed your chin, pressing frenzied kisses until he reached your lips.

A small giggle from you vibrated in his mouth. "Josh," you squealed when his hands forced you to press your body on his. "You don't want to rest, baby? You came pretty hard."

"No," he breathed against your lips. "Need to make you feel good."

"I'm good," you replied dazedly, threading your fingers through his hair. "We can stop here."

"No, please," he muttered with some urgency making his voice quiver. "I can keep going, baby."

You knew your boyfriend could go for hours. In fact, the last time you counted, he could go for five rounds in one night, one after the other. That night made him certain that no other person could make him feel like this.

"Okay..." you breathed.

Joshua's hands slid down from your back, a finger slipped beneath the backside of your lace panties and his other hand wrapped around the waistband, effortlessly ripping the delicate fabric in two.

"Joshua!" you chastised, but there was a smile on your face. "You could've just asked me to take them off."

"Faster this way," he muttered, throwing your ruined panties away and promptly took the hem of his t-shirt to get it off you.

You sent him an amused look before raising your arms to help with his task of undressing you completely.

Joshua chucked the bundled up t-shirt aside and his hands slipped on the back of your head, fingers threading on your hair as he pulled you down for a deep kiss, a moan reverberating on his chest.

He felt you adjust on top of him, your hand carefully searching for his cock, fingers wrapping around him to languidly pump his erection before you threw your body back, angling your wet cunt on his cock.

A sweet sigh spilled from your lips. You decided to toy with him some more by sliding your slippery folds on him up and down. His reddened cockhead dripping wet with your arousal, sensitive over the hard blowjob and the edging.

"Please," he sighed and pleaded with a weak tone: "No more teasing."

"Mmf," you nodded but kept sliding your cunt on his cock, his bulbous head had grown sensitive making him flinch when you rubbed your clit against it, drawing a strangled moan from him.

"Baby, please," his hands gripping your waist nearly give out and force you to sink down on him, but he had to command some control on himself.

"Just a bit longer," you sighed, throwing your head back as your fingers pressed on the underside of his shaft keeping his cock lodged between your folds as you moved your hips back and forth, rubbing your clit on him.

"Sensitive," he whispered, sinking his head on the pillows as tears brimmed in his eyes. But he gritted his teeth, unable to deny that he loved being used by you. "I need you, please. Please baby, just fuck me."

Your mouth parted, letting out a moan that told how much you liked to hear him beg. You liked to hear in his tone, to see in his face how bad he wanted you.

"Please," he insisted with a mere whisper, his eyes trained on your pussy lips spread open by his cock, slick rubbed all over him, he savored the throbbing, the warmth but it hurt at the same time.

And without any warning, you sank down on him. "Joshua!" you squealed when his grip on your hips tightened to the point that it hurt.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," he whispered, squeezing his teary eyes shut. "I'm sorry baby, fuck, fuck, you feel so good."

Your hands found his thighs, angling your body back to move your hips on him, fucking yourself on his cock, riding him in a way you never had.

He opened his eyes to see the beautiful features of your face taken over by blissful pleasure, then he saw his cock glistening wet with your arousal disappearing inside your walls. "Fuck, baby," he sighed in pure awe. "I fucking love you so much."

Joshua sounded so pathetic, his voice was raspy and almost sounded as if he were about to cry. But a soft smile appeared on your face, a glint of love in your eyes.

"I love you too, baby," you replied sweetly, removing a hand from his thigh and placing it over one of his. "So much."

Without thinking, he grabbed you and flipped your back onto the mattress, the movement so swift and efficient you could only squeal in surprise.

"Sorry, sorry baby," he whispered again, positioning himself between your legs and eased himself, thrusting shallowly inside you with a pleased moan that was muffled by your mouth.

It wasn't about regaining control, he just wanted to be face to face with you, kissing you, feeling your chest pressed to his.

"I love you," he whispered again, forgetting about subbing for you but he kept the pace of his thrusts fast and steady, enjoying the sound of your sweet moans in blissful pleasure.

"I love you, Josh," you responded dazedly, wrapping your legs around him, your fingers threading on his golden brown hair.

Joshua leaned his head down, his forehead pressing with yours. You felt the studded piercing grazing your eyebrow, his breath caressing your lips as he moaned gutturally.

A hand searched on the back of his head, grabbing one of yours and he pinned it down on the pillow, locking his fingers with yours.

"I love you," he mouthed, so quietly that you never noticed, being so enraptured in pleasure, moaning his name over and over.

Your hand slipped from his nape down to cup his cheek, bringing him for a sweet kiss that almost toppled him over the edge. "I'm close, Josh," you sighed.

Joshua nodded with his head, diving for another kiss, locking his lips with yours but deeper this time, his tongue swiping over your lower lip and into your mouth. You let out a high pitched moan into his mouth as became undone, the sweet waves of pleasure washing over you.

The feeling of your walls squeezed around him pushed him over too, he stifled a moan, tightening his grip on your hand slightly as he spilled himself inside you with shallow thrusts.

He slumped down on top of you, face cradled in the crook of your neck as the thumping in his eardrums subsided, along with the frenzied feeling coursing in his veins. Hearing your ragged gasps, feeling your legs shaking around him, your free hand stroking his back, his nape, and then his hair.

Joshua thought of something cheesy to say. But no words came out of him. So he settled for the quiet, peaceful moment you gave him, though oblivious to the turmoil that buzzed in his mind. Your heart was beating fast under his chest, and slowly, as he came out of it, he could feel his own heart beating against yours.

The day after, Joshua was returning from a practice session when he noticed you had left the apartment. Looking around the place and looking for you in your study, he only found your phone on your desk. So he promptly knew where to find you.

You turned to see him when he pushed the door open to the rooftop. "Hi bunny," he muttered softly upon standing beside you, close to the walled up ledge of the building.

"Hi baby," you pressed your lips in a weak smile.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Everything alright?"

You shook your head no. "Jeonghan texted me," you whispered, your lower lip quivering slightly.

Joshua stilled as your eyes watered but you quickly brushed it off by looking skyward and breathing deeply. "What did he say?"

"He wants to talk."

"Baby, this is good. It's what you wanted, right? You can tell him how you feel," Joshua said, but the words sounded strangled, as if it took everything in him to voice them out.

You sent him a reluctant look. "I thought that I'd be ready. Now, I don't know what to say," your voice quivered as your eyes brimmed with tears rapidly. "I broke his heart, Joshua."

"We both did," he whispered, feeling his own heart deflate upon the confession.

"What?" you asked, but he wasn't looking at your face anymore.

Shame finally took over him, making him turn his face away. "I suspected that he had feelings for you before that night..." he started, the weight of his guilt sitting at the base of his throat.

"How?"

"He was unusually gentle to you," he mumbled, shaking his head slightly. "You thought that he was being friendly, and he is, don't get me wrong. But this was different, and I know this because I've known him for longer; he spent a lot of time with you, hugged you, called you princess..."

You shuddered, hard enough that Joshua noticed. He saw how you bristled in pain and that almost broke him.

"I don't blame you for not noticing," he said right before you thought of saying something about this. "But I saw the way you looked at him... I heard your speech the night of your book release, and I understood that in my absence you had him. In the month that I left he gave you what I couldn't and I don't blame you if that made you grow feelings, baby."

He gathered his courage and took a deep breath. He wondered again if he deserved you. Maybe he didn't, he thought. Maybe he knew all along and was just sabotaging everything before he could hurt you more.

"And then you told me you wanted to invite him over for a threesome and I agreed, partly because I wanted it. But I also wanted to see if I was right about your feelings for him. I should've told you before but... I was jealous, I was mad at Jeonghan."

Joshua closed his eyes, burdened with guilt and remorse, the pain burning in his chest. He regretted with all his being the moment he decided to torture his best friend and lie to you all because of his own jealousy.

His fingers trembled slightly as he clasped his hands together, blinking at the sky above him while inhaling deeply. The silence was deadly, but he couldn't bring himself to face you.

"You shouldn't have done that, Joshua," you finally whispered, so quietly he needed to see your face. You were crying now, shaking slightly with sobs.

"I know, believe me. I know," he turned to face you now, trying to get you to look at the honesty in his eyes but you just averted your gaze elsewhere. "And I am sorry, I truly am. Baby? Please, look at me."

He cautiously brought a hand to hold your chin, but you quickly turned away before he could even touch you.

"Don't touch me," you whispered, recoiling from his touch and walking towards the door.

Joshua went completely rigid, you turned away from him, his mind began to reel before so fast he was barely aware of the pain that was searing through him.

Calling your name aloud, he tried to chase you before you could reach the door. "Baby, please stop—just listen to me."

"We'll talk when I get back, Joshua," you snapped, turning to flash him a look that stopped the blood cold in his veins.

"Would you have told me otherwise?" he asked, his voice raising to make you hear the urgency in his tone. "If you had known, if you had been certain about your feelings for him, would you have told me?"

You turned to him now, eyes flaring with rage and despair. "You don't agree to a fucking threesome to get me to confront my feelings for him!"

"Answer the question," Joshua retorted, his heart beating faster than ever before.

You sucked in a breath shakily as tears continued to fall down your cheeks. "No. I don't know," you replied with a frustrated tone. "I don't think I would have even admitted it to myself."

Joshua pressed his lips into a tight line. He hoped that you would see what he saw, that you both fucked up and cannot go any longer ignoring that you were hurting each other, hurting Jeonghan.

"I told you before, I needed time–," you gasped and covered your face with your hands in a gesture of frustration. "I can't do this right now, Joshua. I can't talk to you."

His heart instantly deflated, remorse, guilt and pain had finally given way with him, tearing him apart. It had been a while since he last cried, he realized. "I'm sorry," he said.

Hot tears blurred the vision of your pinched eyebrows, the disappointment on your face was the last thing he saw on you before you turned towards the door and left him behind.

You were not sure which door to use. It was the first time you had come to this place, but you assumed that the safest option or the quickest route was the front door.

The theater was dark and it felt cold under the seemingly lack of activity inside. But you heard voices, and loud noises behind a pair of double doors that let white light seep through the crevices.

The nervousness coursing through your veins made your blood pulsate in your throat. The moment you left your apartment you were unable to shake the feeling that you were making a huge mistake.

But at the same time, you needed to be there. You needed to fix things.

"Can I help you miss?" a voice called from behind.

"I'm looking for someone," you replied with a jump, your hand flying to your chest.

Upon turning, the face you saw was familiar.

"Oh, hi there," Joshua's old flatmate, Seokmin raised a hand and waved in a friendly way.

"Hi there," you replied.

"Who're you looking for?" he asked politely. "I work here, so maybe I can point you in the right direction, y'know? It's a big place, easy to get lost."

You took one second to consider how the situation would look to someone who knows both Joshua and Jeonghan. In particular, someone who knows you as Joshua's partner.

Seokmin pressed his lips into the smallest of smiles, not noticing you pause.

"Yoon Jeonghan, do you know him?" you asked meekly, voice quivering.

"That's my boss," he nodded with a pleased tone. "This way."

He turned and headed to the direction you assumed he came from, which was a hallway that distanced the double doors from sight.

"Are you here for the job offer?" he asked curiously, turning to see your face as he enunciated his question.

"J-job offer?" you shook your head silently.

"Yeah, we're in the middle of putting this show together and one of our writers quit recently," he pointed and then his tone suddenly changed. "And... Shua told me you're a writer..."

He turned his head and looked forward, the tips of his ears blazing bright red.

"Oh, don't worry," you smiled shyly too, with a twist to your heart from hearing your boyfriend's name. "But no, uh... Jeonghan is a friend."

"Ah, of course," he sighed, not hiding his relief. "Well, I'm not surprised. He's quite the popular guy."

You nodded, deciding to remain quiet.

The hallways were brightly lit, and as you walked further alongside Seokmin, you picked up more busy noise, voices, people breaking into song, shouting, laughing.

"It's a circus here," Seokmin muttered. "We're getting ready for a rehearsal so it's really busy here."

You stopped walking. "I can come back later," you stammered, suddenly feeling stupid over your rash decision of coming to talk to him, breaking your last agreement with Jeonghan.

The last time you talked to him, he asked for time. You weren't ready to confront your feelings either so you thought it was more convenient for you two to think about what really happened between you two.

"He's not as busy right now, I guess," he frowned slightly. "Are you sure? I can tell him you stopped by."

"Oh no, please don't," you blurted, turning on your heel and waving at Seokmin. "I'll find my way out! Thank you."

You practically ran to find the front door, your mind buzzing with so many thoughts at once that you didn't care how abruptly you left Seokmin, you didn't want to think that you were coming back home to face your boyfriend.

A sharp pain stabbed you right in the chest that you had to fill your lungs with air in order to make the feeling go away.

You stopped before the double doors once again just as your eyes caught the sight of a tall man pacing back and forth before a small stage down below rows of seats.

You pushed the door, the loud creaking noise making Jeonghan snap his head your way.

He froze at the same time you did, but he was faster than you. He handed the tablet he was holding to someone next to him, muttering a few words that made that person and the rest of the crew back away from the stage, calling a break.

Moving slowly down the rows of steps just as he was coming toward you with a question written in his eyes.

Seeing his face again after three weeks of no contact was more than you initially thought it would be. You had missed him with every fiber of your being, you missed his quiet company, his gentle voice, the jokes, the laughs.

Somehow you both met in the middle of the stairs. Jeonghan had to raise his sweet brown eyes to meet yours. A small frown appeared in your face when you choked on your words when you attempted to communicate that you needed to talk to him.

Failing to use your words, and without giving much thought you flung your arms around him just as he wrapped you in his too. His hands rubbed your back when you choked back a sob.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, though you were lost on how he was the one apologizing.

But he did it again, he whispered in your ear as you couldn't contain your tears anymore, he held you for a long while, rubbing your back, whispering that he was sorry over and over again.

"I'm sorry too, Jeonghan," you replied finally. "I know you wanted me to give you more time, but–"

"Don't," he interrupted. "Don't apologize. I shouldn't have made you wait for so long."

The comfort those words gave you made more tears and sobs break their way. For nights you wished for him to just talk to you, to let you explain what happened.

"Are you alright?" he asked, breaking away from your arms slightly, just to scan your face with his eyes. "Did something happen?"

Even if time had passed, he knew you perfectly still. You nodded. "We need to talk," you muttered, looking into his eyes. "I need to talk to you."

Jeonghan nodded, the certainty he offered you in his sweet eyes made you realize that in fact, Joshua was right and you loved him too.

You weren't sure what would happen, you weren't sure of the person you would be after this conversation. But one thing you knew is that by doing this, you could offer a bit of honesty in all this mess to Jeonghan and to yourself.

You would deal with Joshua later. 

✮ author's note: hi hi hi there everyone! here it is city lights season 2, lights out! ta-da!!!

i uh, have no explanations for this. i knew i said city lights season 2 would go on hiatus, but i just couldn't resist it and i wanted to torture some people (namely v from windsor) lmao

that's it for me,

toodles

✮ STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO!! ✮

buy me coffee? 🩵

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

[rubywonu]

𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱

“i've got some shit i should mention, pretend my ego is dying, ask me if i love attention, and I'll say no, but i'm lying”

summary: in which seungcheol missed on countless important event with you and you decided it was time for confrontation.

pairing: choi seungcheol x fem!reader

genre: angst to fluff, not mentioned but established idol!au

warnings: arguments, swear words.

w/c: 2.7k

nia’s notes: i don’t know what is just wrote. song is loved by b.i

it was your birthday and the person you wanted to celebrate it with was nowhere to be found. it was a small get-together, consisting of a few of your friends and your boyfriend, who was not there. 

you checked your messages and you were a bit let down when the message wasn't seen. it was like seungcheol was ghosting you. for the past few days, your boyfriend was always at his studio. seungcheol would disappear way before you would wake up and return hours past midnight. for some time, you wondered if he was even coming home. 

for the whole party, you were glued to your phone hoping cheol messaged you back or saw your message, but each time you were disappointed. 

you tried to stay alive and cheerful for your party but it was hard to do so. by the time your friends left, you were angry and sad. each year you and seungcheol would stay up till midnight and write letters to each other for your birthday. it was a stupid tradition but it kept your love alive and this year, you were questioning if it would happen. 

you sat down on the couch, after bidding your friends goodbye and you checked your phone, again. you let out a long sigh as you were let down, once again. it was funny to you when you remembered all the other times you were disappointed by your boyfriend. 

for the past few weeks, you and seungcheol were supposed to go on dates, and each time, cheol canceled last minute with the same excuse, i'm stuck in the studio, sorry. 

this time you were sure you weren't going to let it happen again. so with a bold choice in your mind, you changed your clothes, to one of cheol's sweatshirts and a sweatpant from your closet. you walked over to the counter, trying to find your car keys. you smacked your head slightly when you realized that your car was at the repair shop. it looked like you had to walk to the building, it wasn't far so you had no problem with it. 

so you locked the door to your apartment and walked out of your house, slightly regretting not wearing a jacket. the wind was chilly and it burned when it touched your face. you winced as you wrapped your hands around you, you tried to speed walk to the building when you saw the storm clouds coming over in your direction. 

in a matter of a few minutes, you reach the company and you let your shoulders relax at the heat inside. you smiled at the receptionist when you walked over to the elevator. 

you pressed the floor button and waited to arrive. the ding snapped out out of your thoughts and made your way to the studio room where your boyfriend would be.  

you opened the door a little bit, in hopes of surprising seungcheol. "cheol." you called out and the man in front of you snapped his head to meet you. you expected him to be happy maybe even a little glad, but not in a million years did you expect seungcheol to be angry. 

"what are you doing here?" seungcheol stood up from his seat. he looked stressed out and it worried you. you walked inside and closed the door behind you. it the light, you were able to look at him more clearly and you were concerned. the lack of sleep was evident on his face, dark circles were present under his eyes. 

"well, i got worried when you didn't show up at home, so i decided to stop by." you smiled trying to relax your boyfriend, it was clear to say you did quite the opposite. 

"you don't have to come here, go home, it'll take me a few more hours." you were shocked at his words. 

"what do you mean a few more hours? cheol what about our tradition?" you asked feeling heartbroken at the behaviour your boyfriend was showing you. 

"i don't have time for that, yn. my work is more important." if seungcheol was awake, he was sure he wouldn't say the things he was about to.  

you were taken aback at his cold tone and even more when cheol sat down at this desk, continuing his work. "what are you saying? do you mean it?" 

"yes. yes, i mean it, now get out." the harsh words that came out of seungcheol's mouth felt like a knife pushing through your heart. 

"seungcheol, you need sleep and food, come on let's go home." you walked over to your boyfriend, and gently put your hand on his arm. that seemed to piss him off more. 

"i need to complete this, yn. either leave by yourself or i'll do it." seungcheol was sleepy, hungry, and drained. he wasn't in his right mind and each word he said proved exactly that. 

"what? do you realize what you're saying?" you were angry, you were pissed at the way he was speaking towards you. 

"yn, i don't have time for you or your petty fights, just leave." seungcheol rubbed his hands over his face while he pleaded with you. 

you didn't know when but a lone tear cascaded down your eye. you were hurt beyond explanation. "what?" each time seungcheol said a word, your heart cracked and bled in despair. 

"leave, yn!" you flinched at the intensity of his voice and moved back. "god, you're so needy, it's annoying." cheol mumbled as he went back to his laptop. you walked away from him and towards the door, trying to contain your tears. you couldn't believe that the mouth that whispered praises and confessions was leaving you in pain, for the first time choi seungcheol made you cry, no he made you sob. 

you slammed the door behind you and quickly walked outside the building, in the elevator you could feel yourself breaking down, you put your hand on your mouth, trying to soften your sobs, but it didn't work. without looking back, you excited the building, regretting that decision when you felt the big droplets of water fall on you, it was raining. 

you needed shelter but there was no way you were going back into the building, especially after what had just happened. so you put your head down and slowly made your way back to your house, being extremely careful to not slip at any given moment. 

before you stormed out of the hybe building, someone saw you leave and was very concerned about your condition. it was obvious for him to realize the culprit of this incident. so he walked over to the elevator, making his way over to seungcheol's studio. 

he rushed over and opened the door, confusion visible on his face. "seungcheol." the mentioned man turned around and he became more annoyed. sure, seungcheol regretted what he said to you, but working on a time crunch can do that to people, it didn't look like his fault. "why did yn leave, crying, no seungcheol, she was sobbing, why?" 

"i do not want to deal with your bullshit as well, jeonghan just leave." seungcheol regretted the statement as soon as it left your mouth, even more, when he saw the anger displayed on jeonghan's face. 

jeonghan was like a brother to you, and the both of you became extremely close when you and seungcheol started dating, you became closer with han. 

"shut up and listen to me." jeonghan started. "what did you do for yn, one of the happiest people on the face of this planet, sob while leaving the building. and before you ask me questions like how i know, or something stupid like that just remember that you promised to not make her cry." 

jeonghan didn't know what he was saying but he kept on going before falling on the couch in exhaustion. on the other hand, seungcheol remained silent. he didn't realize the gravity of the situation until jeonghan screamed at him. 

each word came back to haunt him, he could visualize the perfect smile on your beautiful fade into a gradient of hurt and sadness. seungcheol sat there wanting to take back everything he said that hurt you in any form but that wasn't possible. seungcheol had hurt you beyond description and oh boy, did he feel disappointment rush through his blood. 

it didn't prepare him for what he was about to hear though. "gosh, i do hope yn reached home safe, it's pouring real bad." he heard jeonghan mutter and seungcheol felt his heart drop. his eyes were wide and his stance was ready to sprint but he couldn't move. "what?" 

"it's raining outside, i hope yn can see anything from the car." once again, seungcheol felt his world stop spinning. 

"yn's car is at the repair shop." seungcheol said slowly as the realization hit him. he saw jeonghan turn to him and ask him to repeat himself. "yn doesn't have her car." 

this was the last straw, before completing his sentence, seungcheol ran out of the room, and completely ignored jeonghan's call behind him to grab a jacket. but he didn't care, all he cared about was you and he hurt you.

seungcheol spammed the elevator call button, furiously. he was angry at himself, angry at the world, he was angry at everything and everyone but you. 

"fuck!" seungcheol screamed and rushed over to the stairs. he started to rapidly climb down the stairs. he was on the higher floors but he did not care at all.

once he reached the base of the stairs, he slammed open the door and ran out of the building, not minding the glances he received while doing so. 

the rain looked worse than jeonghan made it seem, big droplets were clouding his vision but he moved on. seungcheol slowly started to walk into the rain while scouting all his sides in hopes of finding you. 

he saw a small figure pushing through the cold rain and he immediately knew it was you by the familiar sweatshirt. and then seungcheol ran, he ran for his life. he didn't care about the slipperiness of the ground and he didn't care when the rain got harder, the only thing he cared for you so he ran in search of your warm body. 

he was right behind you now, and he grabbed your arm, regretting it as soon as he saw you flinch at the touch. "yn, it's me." seungcheol spoke with a soft voice and he begged the gods for you to be alright with his presence, but it looked like his prayers were skipped. 

you pulled your hand away and continued to walk away, leaving seungcheol's heart to shatter. "get away from me." 

"yn, listen to me, please." seungcheol didn't give up just yet, he ran in front of you and held you by your shoulders, trying to be as gentle as possible. "let's just go back to the studio, i promise we'll talk there." 

"you don't care about me, did you forget about it already?" you moved away from your boyfriend and walked away from him, again. 

"what do you mean?" you turned around at seungcheol's ridiculous statement and scoffed, anger seeping into your face. 

"'what do you mean?' are you crazy choi seungcheol." cheol flinched at you calling him his full name, ever since the both of you started dating, he had never heard his name come out of your mouth like that, and boy did it hurt. 

"first of all, you gave up on our tradition, you know how much it means to me but you left that. then, you disregarded me, seungcheol. i was worried about you and what did you do? you screamed at me, telling me to leave you alone and as if that's not bad enough you proceeded to call me clingy and needy, you said you were annoyed by my actions. since when did my care and love for you turn annoying? i was looking out for you, but you took my heart and broke it." 

seungcheol didn't realize how much he messed up until he heard your feelings and regret swarmed his whole body. 

"and you did it all on what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life, my birthday." your voice cracked and tears struck down your face. 

realization came sticking to cheol as he stood there in shock. he forgot about it because of his hard schedule, he forgot your birthday. you turned around, trying you hide your crying face. 

behind you, seungcheol pondered at his bad decisions. he hated himself, he hated the way he made you feel, and he hated to be the reason for your sadness. 

for the past month, you and seungcheol had talked about all the things the both of you wanted to do for your birthday and they were in contrast to what was actually happening. what was supposed to be a day filled with loving you turned into a day where your relationship was in danger. 

"i'm sorry. i'm sorry." seungcheol's soft voice behind you only made you cry harder. you turned around, and the sight left you speechless. 

seungcheol was on his knees, he was crying. "i'm so sorry, yn." the rain and your boyfriend's harsh sobs were the only things you could hear, apart from your own cries. 

no matter how angry you were with seungcheol, it pained for you to see a man so strong break down in tears while on his knees. you joined him on the floor, and the both of you cried while holding each other in the rain, gaining warmth from the other. 

"im so sorry, im so sorry for everything i did. im so sorry for the way i spoke to you, you didn't deserve it. you were just trying to be a good girlfriend but i screamed at you, i'm so sorry. please forgive me, don't leave me, yn, please." 

seungcheol's ramble made you cry harder, you pulled away from him and grabbed his face, making him look at you. "i'm not going to leave you, don't worry." you go up and pulled seungcheol up as well. "let's go home and talk there." 

the both of you walked hand in hand in silence, wiping the tears on the way, the rain washing away your tears and replacing them with a cloud of sadness. when you reached home, without talking you and seungcheol walked into separate bathrooms to clean up. it was obvious that both of you wanted to talk about it but the wound was too fresh. 

you finished your shower and dried your hair, you were currently walking to the guest bedroom where seungcheol was cleaning up. you opened the door and seungcheol was on the bed, the room was dark, and he was drying his hair. you heard a sniffle and it damaged you. 

you made your way in front of your seungcheol grabbed the towel without saying anything and proceeded to rub his hair. as you did this, seungcheol's tears only started to come out faster. 

you dropped the towel on the bed and placed your hand on his face, seungcheol leaning into it. you swiped your finger under his eyes and removed his tears. the action only seemed to make him cry more. 

"i'm so sorry." you pulled him into a hug, and seungcheol immediately responded by placing his hands around your waist and pulling you in as close as possible. 

"it's okay baby, i didn't like it at all but i understand where it came from, so i forgive you. just promise not to do that again." seungcheol's eyes snapped open no light up at your words. 

"thank you, i promise to never make you cry ever again. i'll cancel all my plans for the next week, it'll be you and me, that's it." seungcheol stood up and held your waist, your hands immediately going to his neck. you smiled at his enthusiasm and it was then you realized he was sincere. the both of you kissed, leaving the troubles of the day to be washed away by the rain, and you and seungcheol emerged like a rainbow during the pain. 

and from that day onwards, seungcheol never broke his promises, he never let you cry and most of all, seungcheol never forgot to make you feel loved. 

taglist: @xomingyu . @pixieskie . @bangchansbae . @weird-bookworm .

[elllisaaa]

RIGHT HERE - H. HYEONGJUN

SUMMARY : when one drunken night leads you to kiss your best friend, it gets and harder and harder to ignore your underlying feelings for him

-> pairing : best friend!hyeongjun x fem!reader

-> words count : 9.6k words

-> genre : friends-to-lovers, smut, a tiny bit of angst and some fluff at the end

-> warnings : switch!hyeongjun x switch!reader, unprotected sex, making out, swearing, teasing, riding, fingering, semi-public sex, creampie, oral (f. receiving), dry humping, begging, marking, little bit of choking (because i'm obsessed with these pretty hands of his), dirty talk, alcohol consumption, jealousy, yn has big boobs because i have big boobs and i want to feel appreciated lmaoo, junhan is wearing a half skirt at one point because he looks hot with that, tiny bit of angst

+ the way i'm depicting junhan does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction.

-> 18+ content bellow, minors DNI

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language

-> author's note : a little fic for the birthday boy !! i just had to celebrate one of my ults' bias special day, and it was good that i was working on this fic at the same time ! i had this idea back in january, and honestly i never thought that it would finally come together but i love how it turned out and i hope you'll like it as much as i do, because honestly writing junhan is so therapeutic for me for some unknown reasons lmaoo.

-> playlist : right here by chase atlantic - do i wanna know ? by arctic monkeys - keep me up by b.i - she by harry styles - i like the way you kiss me by artemas

-> masterlist | xdh masterlist

Hyeongjun had never been the type to go to parties. He enjoyed music, yes, but not the loud ones everyone played at these events, and he hated it even more when you dragged him on with you. However, he never said no, never refused to follow you along with his members. All of them were always eager to go to these parties, and you too. He always felt like he was killing the mood by saying he didn’t like it. But what really convinced him every time were your pleading eyes, and your cute little pout as you said his name in the most adorable way. At least, he was always the last one still sober and he could bring everybody home safely, he could make sure you were okay at all times. 

And he really should get paid for it because dealing with you when you were drunk was some kind of a challenge. But over the loud people and music, the bad smell of alcohol and sex, all the people he didn’t know talking to him just because he was famous ; what he hated the most was seeing you flirt with everyone coming your way. 

Hyeongjun was not one to get easily jealous. Hell, he didn’t even have any right to be : he wasn’t your boyfriend, only your best friend. But you got him chewing on his lips and clenching his fists as you were dancing with other men. He wished it was him, wished he was the one holding your hips and making you twirl around and giggle, wished he was the one whispering things that were making you blush in your ears. 

But he wasn’t. Maybe if he had had some balls when Gunil introduced you as his childhood friend, maybe if he had followed the advice of his members and asked you out right away, he would’ve been the one dancing with you right now. Maybe he would not be stuck here, and maybe he would not have to settle on looking at you from afar rather than being the one making out with you on that couch. And as much as he wanted to be mad at you for it, he couldn’t. He could only blame himself for the situation he was in, it was all his fault. 

The sigh he let out startled the girl standing beside him, the very same one that tried to hit on him for some time. He rejected her already, but she kept coming back for more, and he was starting to get uneasy. He wanted to get out of here, to walk you home, tuck you into bed and then get back to the dorms and pray that one day his feelings will fade away. Because what he felt for you was way more than lust, it was way more than a want or a need and it was becoming harder and harder to hide it from you when your whole body was pressed against his as you tried to walk straight. 

“- ‘M so tired, Junnie…

- I know, but we’re almost there, hold on.”

You hummed quietly, trying to not let the exhaustion take over your body. You looked up at Hyeongjun, and you didn’t know if it was the alcohol talking or if it simply allowed you to finally stop lying to yourself, but you couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was incredibly pretty under the city lights. His long hair had these beautiful curls that complimented his face perfectly, his eyes shining under the moonlight and his pointy nose that you had always found attractive casting beautiful shadows all over his face.

“- You’re so pretty.”

Hyeongjun thought that he didn’t hear you right, that it was the alcohol talking. But still, his breath got stuck in his throat when the words left your mouth, and his cheeks heated up when you cupped his cheeks and stood on your tippy toes to kiss him. His eyes widened in surprise, letting you peck his lips for a few seconds before he regained some consciousness and grabbed your shoulders to push you off of him, trying not to let himself soften at the way you whined his name.

“- You shouldn’t do that when you’re drunk, Y/N. I don’t want you to regret it.”

The pout aborning your lips was the cutest thing he had ever seen and it was hard to resist you when you were like this, pleading for the attention he himself craved to give you for months. 

“- I won’t ! I promise, Junnie, I just want to kiss you.

- Still. I’m not doing anything while you’re vulnerable. Let’s just go home.”

You whined again, but in the end, you complied to his request and followed him down the streets to your apartment. And as if nothing had happened, you continued to rant to him about one girl that apparently talked behind your friend’s back, but Hyeongjun couldn’t focus on anything else than the feeling of your lips touching his. He was unable to listen to you for the whole ride, simply humming at everything you said and you were too far gone to care about it. 

You begged him to come inside and help you take off your makeup because you were too tired to do it yourself. So Hyeongjun did. He kept your hair out of your face as he washed it off, feeling you slowly relaxing under his fingertips. Then, he let you put on some more comfortable clothes, trying not to look at your bare legs as you climbed in your bed wearing only some underwear and an oversized shirt. He tucked you in, and kissed your forehead before going home, the memories of this night playing on loop in his head.

And it didn’t stop messing with him for the next few weeks. As much as Hyeongjun tried to bury himself into his work to forget about what you said, about what you did, he could still hear your slurred voice calling him pretty, he could still feel your lips pressing against his. Everytime he thought he had succeeded in finally getting past all that, something reminded him of you and he was going back to the start again. 

The worst part was that he started to make excuses to not see you. It wasn’t like he didn’t miss you, on the contrary even - it was torture for him to turn down your invitation to hang out together. But he was quite certain that if he did see you, he would spill out his feelings like the loser he was and he wasn’t ready to let you go away. Hyeongjun knew that what happened that night probably didn’t mean anything to you, that you were drunk and not thinking straight, but he couldn’t stop his heart from racing when he closed his eyes and he was taken back to the moment you kissed him.

Hyeongjun sighed as he looked down at the lyrics and music sheets in front of him. He had been trying to work on these new ideas for a long time now, but you invaded his thoughts so much that he hadn’t been able to concentrate or focus. He had been there for a good two hours now, and he hadn’t made any progress, the lack of sleep he was getting lately surely not helping his case either. He was ready to go back to his failed attempts to produce something remotely good when some soft knocks at the door of the studio interrupted him. He spared a glance at his phone sitting on the desk and noticed that it was pretty late, brows furrowing as he wondered who it could be.

“- Come in.”

The door cracked open slowly, revealing your familiar silhouette. The weather was starting to warm up a little, thus you were only wearing some shorts and a hoodie that Hyeongjun recognized as his, his whole body heating up at the thought of you feeling this comfortable in his clothes. His eyes then drifted to the small grocery bag that you held in your hands. And even if he hadn’t seen you since that infamous night, and even if he was a little anxious about confronting you, a shy smile creeped up on his lips upon finally seeing you, his heart beating faster as you got closer.

“- I hope I’m not disturbing you ? Just thought that you might be craving some snacks since you’re gonna stay here until late.”

You handed him the bag, which was indeed filled up with his favorite snacks. You had stopped by the dorms on your way and Jiseok had told you where your best friend was, since he seemed to be avoiding you recently. It surprised you, because he wasn’t the type to usually stay up so late. Once again, Hyeongjun couldn’t help the warmth spreading from his head to his toes at knowing you did all that for him, and came all the way here only for him, only because you cared for him.

“- You’re never bothering me, Y/N. And thank you so much, I… It’s really sweet, I appreciate it, even more since I’ve been a terrible friend lately.”

You shrugged as you sat down on the chair beside him, crossing your legs and resting your forearm on your knees. You wanted to talk to him about what happened that night, that was why you came here, mostly. But you couldn’t bring yourself to let the words out, fidgeting with the hem of Hyeongjun’s hoodie.

“- I’m the terrible friend here, honestly. I’m sorry Junnie, I shouldn’t have kissed you and I shouldn’t have pushed when you said no, even if I was drunk, it was incredibly wrong of me to do that. And I understand if you need some time away from me because what I did was really disrespectful.”

Seeing how stressed and anxious you seemed to be made Hyeongjun’s heart clench in his chest. Were you really beating yourself over that for the past weeks ? Did you really think that you made him uncomfortable ? Oh, he was an idiot. Hyeongjun closed his eyes for a second, embarrassment clearly visible on his face as he mentally swore at himself for being so dumb. Of course that ignoring you for such a long time would make you spiral, he knew how you could get sometimes, so why did he do that ?

“- You have nothing to apologize for, Y/N. It’s no big deal, okay ? It was just a kiss, and that’s all. But I should be the one saying sorry, and I am because I’ve been an asshole for making you believe that you did something wrong.”

“No big deal” ? Yeah, of course ! The fact that he couldn’t keep the sensation of your lips pressing against his for more than three minutes showed really well how it was “no big deal”. But he couldn’t tell you that, obviously. It seemed like you regretted it enough for him to ask if there was any meaning behind your actions. 

“- Best friends aren’t supposed to kiss, I thought you just needed some space. Just… Please, tell me that I haven’t ruined everything, because that’s the last thing I want.

- You haven’t ruined anything, I promise. I’m just glad we talked it out.”

You nodded but the tears that gathered in your eyes did not want to go away that easily. 

“- Come here.”

You grabbed the hand Hyeongjun reached out to you, and you let him pull you in a hug, resting your head against his chest. You sighed deeply as you basked in his embrace, in his comforting presence, in his familiar scent that did wonders to calm you down. 

“- So, you think I’m pretty ?”

Hyeongjun chuckled when he felt you hit his chest. You could already feel your face heating up from his question, the memories of that night still fresh in your mind, and the way you embarrassed yourself too. 

“- That’s not funny ! I was drunk.

- But you know what they say ? Drunk words are sober thoughts.”

You lifted your head up, a faint blush spread across his cheeks as well. He seemed to have gained some confidence lately, and you loved it for him, but being on the receiving end of it made your heart flutter in a way that was really not good considering Hyeongjun was your best friend. But still, you let him push away a strand of your hair and tuck it behind your ear, loving the feeling of his fingers brushing against your skin a little too much. 

“- It’s not a bad thing though, I think you’re pretty too.”

You wanted to act unaffected, to think that he was only trying to make you feel better, but the way your heart skipped a bit was telling you otherwise. And the way you looked down at his lips for a few seconds too long for him to not notice certainly did nothing to help either. The atmosphere had shifted - you could feel it, and from the way Hyeongjun’s lips parted in search of more air, you knew that he felt it too. There was something in the air, something that made you want to give in to your desire. 

“- Would it be so bad if I kissed you again ?

- I don’t think so…”

Your own hands went up to cup his face, feeling the heat of his skin under your fingertips. Your eyes drifted from his intense gaze to his pretty lips every two seconds, and slowly, you leaned in closer. His lips brushed against yours once, both of you releasing a shaky breath at the contact. Then, he dared press a soft kiss on your slightly open mouth. And the third time, you finally kissed him for real, your arms wrapping around his neck to push him closer to you. 

Hyeongjun welcomed you in his arms again, hands hesitantly going to hold your waist as his eyes fluttered shut. He couldn’t believe that you, his best friend, his crush, were really kissing him right now. But the way your lips were moving in sync with his was a proof of how real all this was, and Hyeongjun decided that he wanted to enjoy it for as long as it was going to last, no matter if it meant nothing for you in the end. 

Suddenly, Hyeongjun snickered his arms around your waist, pulling you in to fully sit on his lap, eliciting a gasp from you that allowed him to plunge his tongue in your mouth. He was never this straightforward usually, but he had waited so long to feel you, he didn’t want to waste any more time. His hands found purchase on your thighs as your tongue danced with his, lust clouding his and your mind too.

“- F-Fuck, Y/N… Don’t stop…”

You grinned as you let your kisses wander from the corner of his lips to his neck, lightly sucking on the sensitive skin there, rewarded by some airy moans Hyeongjun couldn’t contain. He bucked his hips into you involuntarily as you bite down on his flesh softly, a whine escaping his lips this time. He made the prettiest sounds ever and you really wondered why you didn’t do that sooner. After all, you always thought that Hyeongjun was handsome - who wouldn’t ? - but never acted on it because he was always so shy to initiate any physical contact with you. And even as you got closer, it was always so platonic, you never dared make a move, nor even admit to yourself that you found him really attractive. 

“- Junnie, I want more, please.”

The way you looked into his eyes, the way you whimpered his name, the way you were grinding against his clothed hard on - everything in you made him weak in the knees and he folded so quickly it was surely pathetic but Hyeongjun didn’t care. In this moment, all he wanted was you and nothing else, nobody else. 

“- Anything you want, baby.” 

The nickname slipped past his lips so easily, as if it was all natural and it made a new wave of arousal crash over you. You knew you couldn’t really do everything you wished because you were still at the studio, but it didn’t stop you from getting rid of your shorts and underwear in the span of a few seconds while Hyeongjun pushed down his sweatpants just enough for him to free his cock. 

Your mind was already so far away that you didn’t even take the time to admire him in all his glory, simply coming back to sit on his lap, this time without any clothes to separate the two of you. His hands found their spot back on your waist, this time feeling courageous enough to let them slide down to your ass, guiding you to rock your hips back and forth over his hard dick, coating him in your slickness. 

“- Shit, you’re so wet, feeling so good already…”

You never thought you would hear him talking dirty to you one day, but here you were, and you loved it so much that you barely tried to keep your voice down as his tip repeatedly bumped against your clit in the most delicious way. 

“- So good, Junnie… Want you so bad, fuck !

- Then take me, baby, take whatever you want from me.”

You didn’t need more than that to sink down on his cock, both of you moaning in harmony as you threw your head back. You felt so full of him, and you felt so tight around him, it was impossible not to get lost in lust. You picked up your pace, rolling your hips a few times before you started to really ride him, the sound of skin slapping filling up the room quickly.

“- You’re so fucking good at this baby, holy shit… So wet and tight…”

You chuckled on top of him, grabbing his shoulders stronger for support as you could feel your knees giving up already from the intense rush of pleasure coursing through your veins. 

“- Love your cock, Junnie, feels perfect…”

Hyeongjun hummed at your praises, trying to not let them get to his head but it was hard when you were bouncing up and down his dick and that you felt so good he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, your name falling from his lips when you resumed your kisses on his neck. 

“- Y/N… I-I’m gonna cum…

- Me too, I’m so close Junnie…”

As your moves became sloppy, Hyeongjun took it upon himself to grip your waist firmly and help you roll your hips on top of him, thrusting up to meet you halfway. Your mouth fell agape, nails digging into his shoulders over his clothes to ground yourself in reality. As your orgasm washed over you, you weren’t thinking about the fact that Hyeongjun was supposed to be only your friend, you weren’t thinking about everything that he was making you feel and that he shouldn’t. You weren’t thinking about anything other than him and how right having his hands on you and his lips on yours felt. 

You were afraid that everything would be awkward after this, but it all went back to normal. It was as if what happened that night, as if what happened in his studio never existed for Hyeongjun. And you should've been happy with that, should've settled for forgetting all about this and not ruining your friendship even more. But deep down, it hurt to know that he was able to not care when he was all you could think about ever since your lips touched his for the first time and you couldn’t get him out of your mind even if you tried. 

You felt guilty too. You were the one who started it all, the one who kissed him and told him you thought he was pretty. Hyeongjun never asked to be dragged into all of this. And it felt even more wrong to feel jealous of the way some girl you didn’t know was flirting with him. You had no right to feel that way, no right to be mad at him for doing this - even though you were almost certain that Hyeongjun wasn’t the one who started the conversation.

You had no right to feel jealous, but you were, and you decided that the best way to forget about it was to flirt with someone too. It was the worst choice you could’ve made, but your feelings were too confused to think further, just needing a distraction to stop thinking about Hyeongjun. So you gave a chance to the guy who was trying to hit on you since you arrived, and you tried to be subtle about the way you were often stealing glances in your best friend’s way. 

And Hyeongjun couldn’t help doing the same, trying to not let the overwhelming feeling of disappointment take over him as he watched you flirt with another man from afar. He was usually a sweet guy, but right now, he couldn’t care less about whatever this girl whom he didn’t even remember the name of was yapping about. He had a tunnel vision for you, only you standing out of the crowd. And Hyeongjun only wanted to forget about you, forget everything about whatever it was that happened in the studio. So he grabbed his beer, still half-full, and he chugged it down without any hesitation. 

The rest of his night was kind of a blur, and when Hyeongjun woke up the next morning, he wasn’t really surprised about the terrible headache that hit him as soon as he opened his eyes. A pained whine escaped his lips as he tried to sit up, the vivid light coming through the window making it all worse. Hyeongjun closed his eyes for a few minutes, trying to remember where he was because he knew for sure that he wasn’t in his bedroom. And then he heard a sigh by his side, his gaze falling on you, peacefully sleeping on the other side of the bed, just as naked as he was. And suddenly, he was hit with all the memories from last night.

“- Junnie ! I’ve been searching for you all night, I missed you !”

The pout on your lips made his heart flutter, but Hyeongjun tried to stay focused on the fact that he was jealous, hurt, and a little mad at you. But it was hard when he had been drinking the whole night, not even able to remember all the alcohols he had, and it was even harder when all he wanted was to kiss your pretty lips and taste you again. 

“- I was busy. It seemed like you were very occupied too.”

All the drinks he had were starting to get back at him, and he wasn’t able to leave on the filters he usually had when talking to people, especially when he was talking to you. The bitter tone of his voice hit you like a truck, not used to Hyeongjun being in this kind of mood, especially when he was with you. It hurt too, more than you thought it would. 

“- What ? I can’t even have a little fun now ? You were flirting with a girl too…”

It was petty of you to make some reproaches at him when you were always the one doing exactly what you commented about. But the memory of this pretty girl laughing with him was all you could think about. You didn’t even remember the name of the guy you danced with later, too focused on watching over your best friend and this girl, too worried that he might kiss her or go home with her. And you knew it wasn’t how Hyeongjun would act usually, but everything seemed odd tonight. Hyeongjun sighed while shaking his head, visibly disappointed in you.

“- I’ve never said that, Y/N. Fuck… You’re just so confusing right now.”

He ran his hands over his face, trying to remain concentrated on the conversation even if he wanted to either go to sleep and forget everything that had happened these past weeks or just pull you in and shut you up with a kiss. He obviously preferred the second option, even though it was also the one that seemed less likely to happen. You crossed your arms over your chest, suddenly hyper aware of the way your top showed so much of your cleavage, suddenly noticing how you’ve been leading him on because you couldn’t just tell him how you felt. Your head and thoughts weren’t clear, you couldn’t think straight when he was looking at you with a mix of want and sadness - you just wanted to hold him close and never let him go. 

“- I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intention.

- I know. I know you’ll never hurt me purposely. 

- But I still hurt you…”

Hyeongjun could see how guilty you felt from the way you were biting your lips and avoided his gaze, and he almost regretted saying anything in the first place. But even though he was grateful he got to know what you tasted and felt like, maybe it would have been better if it all stayed in his imagination, if it all stayed a fantasy. It would’ve been so much easier to forget about you if he didn’t know how you sounded like when you were about to cum, if he didn’t know how pretty you were on top of him. 

All the alcohol you had made you a little dizzy, not feeling it when Hyeongjun got closer to you until his fingers brushed against your cheeks, prompting you to look up at him. His pretty eyes were glazed with some kind of lust that made your insides twist. You definitely shouldn’t have these feelings for your best friend, but the way his thumb swiping over your bottom lip made your heart skip a beat was enough of a sign for you to finally admit that what you felt for Hyeongjun was way more than friendly sentiments. When you looked in his eyes again, it was like you were suddenly hit by this realization even more, your breathing hitching in your throat as he leaned down to kiss you again. 

You closed your eyes and let Hyeongjun do whatever he wanted. It had only been a few days since you had last felt his lips on yours, but it was as if it had been months. And if last time, you had taken your time savoring how his tongue was sliding against yours, tonight you just wanted to take everything he had to give you, tonight you just wanted him in the rawest way possible. 

And Hyeongjun felt the same, too hungry, too impatient to wait any longer. He grabbed you by your thighs, lifting you up on the kitchen’s counter. You spread your legs instinctively, pulling him closer again and your lips returning to his. His hands found their place back on your waist, feeling how hot your skin was under his fingertips due to the crop top you were wearing. Your own hands were tangled in his hair, occasionally mindlessly tugging on it and earning some quiet moans from Hyeongjun that made you even wetter. 

“- Junnie… Please…”

You were panting against his mouth, desperately grinding against him to get the tiniest amount of friction that was nowhere near enough to ease your desire. Your eyes were hooded, missing how Hyeongjun looked at you as if he wanted to eat you alive, only feeling his hands roaming around your body. He came up to squeeze your breast over the material of your top, making you arch your back into his hands and release an airy whine, wanting more and more of him. 

“- Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me and I’ll do it.

- Want your fingers, been dreaming about it…”

The admission made him curse under his breath as he urgently started to help you unzip your jeans, immediately slipping his hand into your panties and going to press down on your clit. You threw your head back instantly, having craved his touch more than you’d like to admit. But it felt so good to finally have his hands on you, so good that you didn’t care about the fact that you were in the kitchen of someone you barely knew. 

“- Been fantasizing about me, pretty ? Been thinking about my fingers when you were touching yourself ?”

A low moan escaped your lips as the tip of his fingers brushed against your entrance a few times, and his words turned you on beyond what you thought was possible. You never thought you would ever hear Hyeongjun telling you those things but for some reason it made it all more exciting. Your cheeks were burning up, as well as your whole body as you dived back into his hypnotizing gaze.

“- Say it.

- Y-Yes, I did, thought about it a lot Junnie, couldn’t help myself. 

- I thought about you too, baby.”

Upon hearing your answer, Hyeongjun slid one of his fingers inside of you, reaching way deeper than you’ve ever had with your own. A louder moan slipped past your lips, and you had to bite down on the flesh to not let any other sound escape you. His last words were replaying again and again in your mind as his thumb played with your clit just right and his finger moved easily due to how wet you were. 

“- You want another ?

- Please, yes…” 

You couldn’t help whining as Hyeongjun carefully pushed a second finger inside of your cunt, the feeling overwhelming you in the best way possible. His fingers were much longer than yours, hitting your sweet spot without even trying to and making you clench around them. Slowly, he increased his pace, lewd squelching sounds starting to echo in the room and mixing with the noises coming out of your mouth against your will. 

And unlike that night at the studio, now Hyeongjun really took his time to look at you closely. Your boobs were squished in a tiny crop top that showed a lot of your cleavage and made them look heavenly, your pretty waist underlined by the low rise pants you wore. Your hair were brushing against your shoulders every time you looked down to see how quick Hyeongjun’s fingers were moving inside of you, how skillfully he was circling around your clit. But the best part was the way you stared at him with your mouth half-opened, eyes heavy with desire and lust for him, the way you whispered his name like a prayer when he hit that perfect spot. 

“- I’m close… I’m so close, please, don’t stop…

- I won’t pretty, cum on my fingers and then I’ll fuck you, yeah ?”

You nodded as best as you could, pleasure already taking over you because of the way he was talking to you, because of the way his mouth got so dirty and filthy all of sudden. You squeezed your eyes shut as your orgasm crashed over you, biting down on your lips hard enough to draw some blood and trying to not let too many noises escape you as you came undone for him, thighs shaking as he continued slowly thrusting his fingers even after you’ve stopped clenching so hard around him. You grabbed Hyeongjun’s hand with a whimper, and the smirk on his lips when you did so almost made you want to let him go on a little longer. 

“- Open up.” 

You immediately listened to his command, your mouth falling open for him. You felt him pull his fingers out of your cunt, bringing them up to your lips and pushing them against your tongue. You closed your mouth around them, sucking his skin clean of your release until Hyeongjun had enough of the sinful scene in front of him - pulling his fingers out of your mouth and grabbing your throat instead to kiss you hungrily. His tongue found yours again, this time much more demanding and fervent, as if he had let down all his inhibitions, as if he couldn’t contain himself anymore. 

Your mind was hazy, but you still felt the aching in your cunt coming back. You needed him, and you needed him now, no matter that anyone could walk in on the two of you. Your hands fell from the back of his neck to the front of his pants, quickly undoing the buttons and zipper, struggling a little more with the straps holding the half skirt completing his outfit. His lips left yours to help you, the black cloth falling on the floor but he couldn’t care less when you were already palming him over his underwear. 

“- You sure you wanna do this here ?

- Fuck, yeah, I don’t care, I just need you so bad Junnie…

- Shit… Need you too, pretty.”

You helped Hyeongjun push his boxer’s down enough for his cock to spring free. You didn’t hesitate before spitting in your palm and stroking him a few times, coating him with your saliva. He couldn’t help but stare at your hand, a low moan slipping past his lips. 

“- You’re so hot…”

His praises we’re getting to your head, making you even more dizzy and you didn’t even know anymore if it was the alcohol or just the effect he had on you. However, you needed him too bad to tease him for too long, your legs coming up to wrap around his waist and pulling him closer to you until the tip of his cock bumped against your clit. Hyeongjun got a grip of your waist, stopping you from squirming around as he entered your tight, soaked cunt. 

“- F-Fuck ! You feel so good, Y/N, so fucking good for me…

- Please move, need more !”

Your voice was already so high pitched, and you seemed so gone - eyes hazy and looking fucked out from his fingers only. Hyeongjun groaned as he tried to not lose himself in the feeling too soon, but it was hard when you felt even better than the last time, it was hard when the alcohol heightened all his feelings, it was hard when you were whining his name like that and looking at him so desperately - you were driving him crazy. 

The first thrust of his dick immediately hit your sweet spot, slapping a hand over your mouth to at least try to keep quiet and the other flying to his shoulder to ground yourself in reality. The second thrust had you praying that no one would pass by the kitchen or they would hear you moan like a slut but you couldn’t care anymore when Hyeongjun looked so attractive, eyes glued to where his cock slid right into your wet pussy, his pretty, airy moans engraved in your mind forever. 

You didn’t have enough consciousness left to control your noises anymore, not with the way Hyeongjun was pounding into you relentlessly, one hand massaging your tits over the material of your top and the other one back around your throat. The lack of air as he squeezed your neck pushed a choked moan out of your mouth, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you mindlessly gripped his wrist for support. 

“- Looking so pretty when I’m the one fucking you… Feels good, baby ?

- Ah ! So good Junnie, you feel so good… Love it, love you so much.”

Hyeongjun was already too far gone to really acknowledge your words, the combination of your velvety walls squeezing him right in when he thrusted back into you and all the drinks he had making him unable to concentrate on anything else than getting you to cum on his dick again. Eager to bring you to your release, he let his thumb come down to play with your clit once again, your moans elevating, not trying to stay quiet anymore. 

As soon as he felt you clench down harder around him and that your nails were digging into the skin of his forearm, Hyeongjun let go too, spurred on by your sensual moans and the way he could feel your throat vibrating against his hand. It all became too much when you felt him paint your walls white, overstimulation kicking in but it was too good to ask him to stop. When Hyeongjun finally freed your neck, you took a big, deep breath, the imprints that his rings left on your skin already visible on the sides. He softly brushed his fingers against the marks, feeling both bad for potentially hurting you and proud that he had claimed you in some way. 

“- Want to come back to mine ?”

Hyeongjun didn’t hesitate to say yes, helping you get off of the counter and put your clothes back on, his lips back on yours before you could even leave the kitchen. And he felt on top of the world passing by the man you had hit on later, his hand in yours, and his cum deep inside of your cunt, probably dripping inside of your pretty lacy panties right now. You were all his, at least for the night. 

“- Morning Junnie.” 

Hyeongjun turned around, a pan filled with some freshly cooked pancakes still in his hands. He placed it down on the counter before looking up at you. And his heart surely skipped a beat at seeing you in the same graphic shirt he had worn last night, your thighs peeking out from underneath the piece of clothing and indicating that you were probably only wearing your panties and no shorts. Hyeongjun gulped down as he tried to not let some of the memories of last night disrupt his thoughts again. 

“- Morning pretty. Did you sleep well ?”

You tiptoed to him, landing a sweet kiss on his cheek before you sat down at one of the stools of the counter to eat the breakfast he prepared for the two of you - though that was an excuse to keep his mind busy from thinking about you and the words you had said.

“- Very, though I don’t really remember how we got here without getting lost. Thank you for all of that, you didn’t have to.

- Yeah, we were pretty drunk. And don’t worry about that, I figured that you would probably be hungry. There’s some painkillers here too if your head hurts.

- You’re an angel Hyeongjun, thank you !”

You smiled up at him despite your headache getting stronger by the seconds. You gladly took the pills and then got to your delicious breakfast, recounting to your best friend every funny or random thing that happened yesterday. But you carefully avoided the only thing that needed to be addressed, carefully avoided the subject. You were too anxious to tell him anything in case he had forgotten it had happened because of the alcohol, because you didn’t even know if you really told him you loved him or if it was only a dream. 

And Hyeongjun was too nervous to ask you anything about it either. Maybe the reason you weren’t talking about it was because you were regretting it, maybe it happened only because you were really drunk and that you would’ve never done it in your right state of mind. Either way, Hyeongjun didn’t want to know, he just wanted to believe that everything was true for a few moments, even if it hurt to know that nothing you had said was meaningful. 

“- I’m gonna go, the boys are practicing this afternoon and I want to take a shower and take a nap before going.

- Yeah, of course. Thank you again for the breakfast, and for watching over me.

- You know I’ll always be right here, Y/N.”

You nodded and closed your eyes as Hyeongjun bent down to kiss your forehead. It was too intimate for two best friends, but it won’t make such a difference with what you had done before. So you simply let him, and you watched him go away with a heavy heart. Maybe that in the end, you regretted what happened a little - it would be so much harder to forget about him now, to try and ignore your feelings when you knew how it felt to be loved by him, to wake up to him cooking in your kitchen. You took a deep breath, only to be met with the scent of him as you were still wearing his shirt, and it made it all hurt even more. The fact that Hyeongjun didn’t even try to mention what happened the other night, that he didn’t even try to know if you said the truth, all of that was enough for you to understand that he didn’t feel the same. Of course he didn’t feel the same. 

Your theory seemed to be confirmed by the fact that Hyeongjun rarely answered to your texts anymore. It pained you to see him slowly slipping through your fingers, your friendship breaking apart piece by piece only because you were unable to control yourself. You were the only one to blame for everything that happened - you told him he was pretty and kissed him first. Hyeongjun probably just wanted to have a good time, and here you were, dreaming of more, dreaming of being his girlfriend when you knew it would stay what it was ; a dream. 

You looked at your phone one more time, desperately waiting for an answer to your offer to have a movie night at yours tonight. But Hyeongjun stayed silent this time too, the amount of messages he had never answered piling up and surely making you look a bit pathetic. Still, you decided to go buy some things for tonight - he was not going to ruin your plans. So you grabbed your headphones and put on your shoes to go to the grocery store down your street. You took everything that seemed sugary and unhealthy enough to drown your sorrow, not resisting the urge to take home a bag of Hyeongjun’s favorite chips. 

The music playing in your headphones was joyful, hoping that it would cheer you up a little. You were going to watch your favorite film too for the hundredth time, even if you knew it by heart now, because you just needed some comfortings things to push back all these feelings that weighed on your heart. But as you stepped out of the elevator, you almost jumped out of fear when you saw Hyeongjun waiting for you at the door. He seemed tired, his eyebags way more bigger than usual and his normally soft hair were all messy. His gaze crossed yours and for a moment, it felt like time stopped. You slid your headphones off, the music still quietly playing as a background noise as you slowly got closer to the door. 

“- What are you doing here ?”

Your tone was harsher than you wanted it to be, but the raw emotions of your voice couldn’t be hidden. You both knew that the movie night was not the real reason Hyeongjun was here, he could’ve just ignored you or said yes, he would’ve never come directly to your place without warning you if it wasn’t urgent. But seeing how disheveled he was and how he obviously didn’t pay much attention to the way he was dressed, it seemed like his decision had been impulsive and not so well thought. 

“- I… “

It was painful to hear his voice cracking on a single word, and even more to see his eyes well up with tears. You tried to swallow the knot forming in your throat, tried to get over the bad feeling you had, tried to not think about how this seemed like a goodbye - a forever one. 

“- If you have nothing to say, then I’m going. I’ve got things to do.”

It was a lie, and you both knew it. But you had to find a way out of this, a way out of this whole situation, a way out of the end of your friendship. Even if it stayed like that - you sending texts that he never replied to - you didn’t want that to be the end. You walked past him, almost reaching for the door when Hyeongjun grabbed your arm, the contact of his skin against yours felt like fireworks exploding everywhere, breath knocked out of your lungs for a few seconds. You turned around, facing him and really looking at him for the first time since you found him at your doorstep. 

“- I think we should keep our distance for a while.”

You thought you were ready to hear it, thought you had repeated the scenario in your head enough times to not feel anything when he would finally say it out loud. But it still hurt, cutting down in places only he had found his way to. And you could do nothing about it because it was all your fault. 

“- It’s… I understand Hyeongjun. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable with all I said and did, it wasn’t my intention at all. 

- I know.”

You dived in his eyes once again, and this time, you stayed like that for a long time, or maybe not. You didn’t know. But his gaze made butterflies come alive in your stomach, only to kill them the next second because of the sad smile stretching out his lips. 

“- Can we still be friends ? I really don’t want to lose you…”

Your voice was definitely quivering, your eyes glossier than usual. And Hyeongjun could see it, could feel it. It was hard for him to do that. Hurting you was never what he wanted, but he couldn’t go on like that, couldn’t sleep with you as if he felt nothing more. It was too much. Right now, he felt miserable, he felt like he was doing a mistake even if it was to protect himself, it still felt wrong. Because he loved you, because he had always loved you.

“- I never wanted to be your friend in the first place, but you never saw that. It’s too late now…”

Slowly, his words made their way into your mind. Slowly, your eyes grew wider. Slowly, you realized what he meant. Hyeongjun thought he would feel better after having told you this, but no. No. All it did was make him regret never trying to hit on you when he had first met you, all it did was making him regret not listening to Jiseok’s advice and not trying to ask you out on a date before he got categorized as your best friend. He could’ve done so much better, and now he not only broke his own heart but also yours because he was an idiot. 

“- You’re an idiot.”

At least, you were agreeing with him on this, and Hyeongjun was ready to express his approval when you continued.

“- You’re an idiot if you think there wasn’t any meaning behind everything that we did. I actually wanted to ask you out when Gunil introduced us, but he told me that it was better if I approached you slowly. And after that, it was always so platonic between us, I never thought you would be interested in me…”

Hyeongjun took a step closer, tears filling up his eyes again, but this time, he didn’t stop them from rolling down his cheeks. 

“- How could I not be interested in you ? I don’t think you realize how bright you’re shining, Y/N. You’re amazing, talented, fantastic. You make everyone and everything better. You made me a better person, you’ve always been here for me, you’re the most important person in my life. And I know I’m not the best at showing it, but god, I love you so much that sometimes it hurts.

- I love you too Junnie, I love you so much…”

When Hyeongjun cupped your face in between his hands, swiping his thumbs across your cheeks to wipe off the tears, your smile brought one to his face too. 

“- We’re both idiots.”

You giggled and Hyeongjun felt like colors were brighter, like he could hear sounds clearer. He didn’t lie when he said that you made everything better, because for him you really did. You were smiling so much that when he leaned down to kiss your lips, it was almost impossible, the two of you chuckling like lovesick fools. And now, you could say that you were. 

“- I really love you.”

If you weren’t still standing in the hallway of your building, Hyeongjun could’ve asked you to repeat the words again and again, until he was sick of it. But instead, he kissed you again.

“- So what about this movie night ? Is the offer still on the table ?

- More than ever.” 

You were still smiling as you unlocked the door of your apartment, and you were still smiling when you settled on the couch with him, and you were still smiling when Hyeongjun’s arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you towards him so you could cuddle while watching the film. Though, it quickly only served as background noise when you started kissing his neck up and down. Hyeongjun really wanted to stay focused, he really wanted to not mess up your first date, if it could be considered a date. But his eyes fluttered shut against his will, his whole body relaxing against the couch. 

“- Y/N…

- Want me to stop ?

- No.”

You chuckled at how breathless he already seemed, but you couldn’t blame him - if he sneaked his hand in your panties right now, he would be met with a sticky mess. You pushed back the blanket covering your legs, allowing you to straddle Hyeongjun’s lap. You made yourself comfortable before going back to his neck, this time adding your tongue to the mix. The thought of him being finally yours was driving you crazy, and you wanted to claim him in some ways, show off to the world that he was your boyfriend and no one else’s. The moan he let out when you sucked the first mark right under his jaw made you want to give him the world, your hips rolling against his uncontrollably. His hands flew to your hips, helping you move against him as you actively covered his whole neck in hickeys and bite marks, relishing in the noises he made.

“- You’re so fucking pretty like this… All mine.”

Hyeongjun didn’t know if it was your nails gently grazing against his marked skin or your words that made him shiver and sent a new wave of arousal coursing through his veins, but either way, he liked it, liked it so much. 

“- Please, let me make it up to you pretty. Let me spoil you.”

Actually, he was just craving to taste you, had been since the first time you kissed him. But the other part was true too - he wanted to please you so badly, show you how good he could be for you. You quickly nodded, letting Hyeongjun get down on his knees as you sat in his place on the couch. You let him part your legs and strip you off of your shorts and underwear all at once. You let him roam around the plush skin of your thighs and take a hold of your waist once again, pulling you closer to the edge of the couch, closer to his face. 

“- So gorgeous, you’re perfect.”

Heat rose to your cheeks with the way he was intensely staring at your glistening folds. But soon enough, the shame was gone when Hyeongjun buried his head in between your thighs, tongue circling your clit skillfully. He was going to be the death of you for sure, but you weren’t mad about it. As he licked at your folds like a starved man, you took a hold of his hair, slightly tugging on it to ground yourself in reality. Hyeongjun moaned lowly against your pussy, the vibration feeling way too good for you not to let out a sound, for you not to praise him. 

“- Taste so good, I could eat you for hours.

- You’re so good Junnie, I’m feeling so good…”

He hummed against you, sending another thrill of arousal through your body and you threw your head back when you felt his tongue pushing past your walls, his nose repeatedly bumping against your bundle of nerves. You couldn’t help your thighs from trembling and closing around his head when you felt your orgasm approaching, but Hyeongjun didn’t do anything about it because he could die happy being smothered by your legs, his noises increasing along with yours. 

“- I’m gonna cum, oh my god ! I’m cumming !”

You cried out his name when the knot in your stomach finally snapped, your whole body shaking as Hyeongjun did his best to hold you down and still lick you clean, prolonging your climax for as long as possible before you started squirming away from him out of overstimulation. The faint smirk on his face as he got up to kiss you, his chin and lips still covered in your juices was too hot for you to ignore. Your tongues danced together, his hands slipping under your tank top to squeeze your breast while yours slid under the hem of his oversized shirt to feel up his waist. And it all felt so good, so messy, so intimate, so passionate. You never wanted him to stop. Unfortunately, you still had to breathe, forcing you to separate from his mouth. Though you took it as a chance to get rid of your top, Hyeongjun followed along and threw his shirt away too. Your hands immediately went down to his pants, helping him get out of his jeans and underwear, discarding the pieces of clothing on the floor. 

“- I need you so bad…

- Need you too pretty, you’re making me go crazy.”

You felt a shiver run down your spine as Hyeongjun pushed you to lay down on the couch, the way he was praising you was definitely doing things to you. However, you didn’t think this through too much, busy grinding against him, busy making out with him.

“- Please, Junnie…”

He never thought he would hear you beg like that for him one day, and Hyeongjun felt like the luckiest man alive when he lined up with your cunt and slowly buried himself inside of your cunt. His head immediately dropped to the crook of your neck, trying to hide his loud moan as he bottomed out. 

“- You feel so good, Y/N, so wet… S-Shit… Never felt this good…”

His words were muffled by the way he was pressed against the side of your throat, but they still made another wave of arousal crash over you, rolling your hips against his to entice him into moving, a whine falling out of your lips as you did so. 

“- Please, move…”

The loud moan you let out mingled with Hyeongjun's sounds when he experimentally drove his cock into you. And soon enough, he wasn’t able to control the rhythm of his thrusts anymore, one hand gripping your waist as the other was holding your leg up in the air, allowing him to move freely and to hit your sweet spot every time. Your voices were laced in a sinful symphony as Hyeongjun pressed his whole body into yours, a thin layer of sweat covering the both of you. 

“- I’m not gonna last, pretty… Are you close ?

- So close, baby, just need a little more…”

Hyeongjun switched the angle of his hips so that his pelvis faintly brushed against your clit with each one of his thrusts, your whimpers getting more high pitched as he did so. Your nails dug in his shoulders as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, feeling his hot breath against your neck and hearing his moans making you clench around him tighter. It was like your hips had a mind of their own, lifting up to meet Hyeongjun’s thrusts and bringing the both of you to your orgasms. You didn’t even register the fact that you scratched down his back, too lost in the feeling of his cum filling you up. But it only made Hyeongjun’s release even more intense. And the fucked out look on your face as he lifted his head from your neck was just a plus. You slowly got down off your high, still trying to catch your breath, as he pushed away some strands of your that stuck to your face.

“- You’re so beautiful.”

The sincerity pouring from his words made your heart flutter, and a grin took over your features as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to keep him close to you a little longer. Later that night, when you were all cleaned up and snuggled in his shirt, comfortably laying in your bed, a thought suddenly came into your mind.

“- Were you really going to let me go like that ?”

Hyeongjun looked at you for a moment, his fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on the exposed skin of your arms. 

“- I don’t know. I just felt trapped, and hurt. But it doesn’t matter now. You’re right here with me, and that’s enough for me.

- I really love you Hyeongjun, I hope you know that.”

He smiled, that beautiful smile of his that inevitably brought a smile to your own lips. The sweet kiss he gave you before pulling you closer to him made your heart skip a beat again, and you didn’t know if you would get used to it one day - the way Hyeongjun was able to make you blush with only a few words. 

“- I love you too, you’re all I ever wanted.”

And that was perfect since he was all you ever wanted too.

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

-> moon dividers by @samspenandsword

[yoonia]

what you wanted (m) | b.i

➬ Summary | You have no idea how you ended up here. It all started with an innocent date, which escalates into something more. Something that is not quite so innocent. But he gladly follows your lead, always ready to give you everything that he could offer, knowing that—deep down—this is exactly what you wanted all along.

➬ Title | What You Wanted

➬ Pairing | Kim Hanbin (B.I.) x reader

➬ Genre | Smut, PWP(?), Virgin!reader, Boyfriend!Hanbin, First Time

➬ Word count | 10,060 words

➬ Ratings & Warning | 18+/Mature; a bit of a plot if you squint, explicit sexual scenes, including: soft dom Hanbin, shy reader, dirty talk, swearing, stripping, kissing (lots of them) and making out, dry humping, groping, grinding, manhandling (kind of lol), finger sucking, fingering (female recipient)/finger fucking, hand job, long foreplay, breast play, nipple play, biting, pinching, first time sex, praise/praise kink, protected sex, minor aftercare, post-coital cuddling

➬ Main Masterlist | Navigation Page | Mailbox

The bed dips as he lies down beside you. 

His shirt is gone, leaving his chest bare. 

Getting a good sight of him from up close, your body flushes in response. The warmth running in your blood escalates further when you look down, noticing his unzipped pants with the waistband of his boxers peeking from beneath.

“Is this okay?” he gently asks you, his voice comes out in a whisper, but you can still feel his words caressing your skin.

Your body becomes tense at this point, filled with anticipation. Your nerves seem to take up the space in your mind, and they are beginning to spark like haywire when you feel Hanbin shifting closer. You can feel his warmth touching your skin even before he makes any move to touch you with his fingers. It makes you feel more hyperaware of his presence and, for the first time tonight, your self-consciousness takes the front seat.

Unable to look up at his face, you can only respond to his question with a short nod. This only draws a chuckle out of him, and he leans in, his fingers are gentle as he tips your chin up until your eyes can meet his glowing ones.

“Don’t be shy, baby. We can take this slow.” His words are reassuring, but the way he says it, with his face and smile soft yet his voice comes out almost growling with need, it drives your senses to start running wild. At the same time, it slowly strengthens your confidence to be able to ask for more when he asks again, “Tell me what you want. I’ll only do what you want me to. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so—”

“I…I want to have my first time…with you,” you whisper softly, your voice almost fading into the room, yet it also sounds a bit too loud for your own ears. Your heart starts pounding in your chest as you look up to see his reaction when you repeat yourself again, “I want to have sex with you. I want…”

Pressing a finger on your lips, Hanbin stops you from talking. “Are you sure?” he asks you. “You won’t regret it?”

It feels reassuring when he does something like this, when he shows you how much he truly cares about your feelings. You love how he keeps making sure that you know exactly what you are asking of him. But you know exactly what you want, though you can understand why he keeps worrying about it when this feels so sudden. Neither of you had expected that this would be the way you are ending the night with him. It isn’t like you had planned this all along when you first invited him into your apartment for a movie night and an extended stay-in date after coming back from your dinner date. It was an offer that you would always make after going out on a date with him, and one that he would gladly agree to whenever he could spend more time with you.

On those other nights, Hanbin would be the one to initiate it when things get heated up by the end of the night. He would be the one to make the move, to start things through his teasing words or hot kisses until he leaves your blood boiling hot with desire and need. On those intimate nights, he would always stop before things would escalate into something more, knowing that you weren’t ready for it.

But just like your invitation and your initial request, you had been the one to initiate everything this time, starting from the moment when you climbed onto his lap sometime in the middle of the movie and started grinding against his crotch until you were both high with desire. And it had been you who pulled his hands away from your breasts, snapping him out of the daze that he found himself in while he was groping at your soft flesh, admiring them while impatiently crumpling your top in the process. You never had any intention of stopping him when you grabbed his hands, however, when you suddenly had something else in mind.

“My bed. Now,” you almost begged him, and never once you had seen him moving so quickly in response. He said nothing as he lifted you up in his arms with your body wrapped around his and carried you all the way to your bed. As if your words had sent him into a trance-like state, and he stayed in it until the moment he laid you down on your bed.

Picturing what happened earlier have you smiling to yourself. “No, I know I won’t regret it. I know what I want,” you answer him with a smile. Despite never planning this to happen tonight, you have actually given this a lot of thinking, and it has been plaguing your thoughts since the day you decided you wanted to do this. With him.

“I know I asked to wait and take things slow, but…I’m ready. I want this.”

You swallow hard and muster the courage to reach up to him, to graze his bare chest with your fingers. His skin feels warm under your touch. Slightly warmer than he usually would. Moving your fingers up to his shoulders, tracing along the lines of ink marked on his skin, you feel his heartbeat pumping steadily in his chest. It grows even faster as you keep running your fingers on his chest, letting you know that he welcomes your touch just as much as you do his.

Hanbin keeps his eyes on your face as he takes your hand, bringing it up to his lips. Dragging a kiss on each of your knuckles, he draws a shudder running through your body. “I’ve been waiting for this moment—” he says between each kiss, his eyes growing darker with passion and lust with each passing second and with each kiss he gives you before adding, “—for a long time.”

As if his words aren’t enough to draw a reaction from you, he takes the tip of your finger between his lips, sucking it gently until he can hear the sound of your gasp. The corners of his lips curl up to a smile, and he slowly leans back, giving you some space. Though he doesn’t give you much time to relax when he whispers, “Take off your top for me. Let me see you.”

Sitting up on the bed, your hands are trembling as you slowly pull up the hem of your top. You can feel his eyes on you, watching closely as you carefully, tentatively, peel your top off your skin. Even with your bra still on, your skin grows hot and you feel naked and exposed already once the shirt is gone, tossed away to the side of the bed. Licking your lips, you turn to Hanbin again, catching his eyes flickering down your body. His deep gaze trails down from your chest, lingering briefly on your cleavage before going down to the exposed skin on your torso, then stops at your flimsy shorts.

Before he can say anything, you lift your hips and pull down the offensive item of clothing by the waistband, peeling it down your legs. A faint sound of moan is heard, coming from none other than your boyfriend, and it makes your skin grow tight and hot knowing that you are drawing this kind of reaction from him. You lie back down once you are done, feeling even more exposed under his gaze as he leans closer, hovering right above you.

“Beautiful,” he groans, making your chest expand under his praise. You are surprised to find how good it makes you feel to hear his compliments, and how it draws the heat from your chest down to your pulsing core. But you welcome the delightful feeling that suddenly comes rushing through you. It happens merely for a brief moment, yet you immediately crave to experience it again the moment it fades away.

Hanbin takes this moment to push himself off of the bed and start undoing his pants. His action mesmerises you, drawing you speechless until he returns to your side and snaps you out of it with a whisper, “Come here, let me take a good look at you.”

You look up at him, wondering what he meant by it. But then Hanbin gently wraps his arm around your waist and carefully brings you closer to him.

You react with a squeal, but easily melt into him when he puts his hands on you. He leans over you and starts kissing your cheek, slowly moving down to your neck after. His mouth feels so good on your skin, his warm breath fanning over your delicate neck as he continues trailing kisses around your pulse. He kisses his way down to your shoulder, before going back up to trace his lips on your chin. Your breathing starts growing quicker, and sparks of electricity begin running down your body.

While he is busy making you grow wild with his kisses, he starts rubbing his hands up and down your arms. He does it in a soothing manner to stop you from growing tense beneath him, but that only lasts until his hands make their way to your covered chest.

His hand moves slower once he reaches your thin bra. His fingers are tickling over your flesh, skirting around the curve of your breast. Your chest arches into his hand when his thumb comes up brushing across the lace cups of your bra, starting with an innocent touch that feels so delicate, before it shifts when he grows bolder with his touch and presses down on your covered nipple. Your body shudders, soft gasps escaping your lips when his kisses run lower, grazing across your heaving chest.

He stops just before reaching the top of your mounds and glances up at your face. You can see his eyes darkening right before he plants his lips right over your covered nipple, brushing a kiss from over the lace, the fabric barely does its job to shield you from his hot kisses when heat shoots right through you upon contact. Distracted by the work of his mouth and his alluring gaze, you don’t notice his hand making its way down, not until his fingers graze across the waistband of your panties and he begins toying with it. His touch moves lower, and he doesn’t stop until his fingers find the wet spot that has appeared right at the center.

“Oh, God—” you hiss out loud when he presses down it, consciously giving your folds enough pressure that you can feel his touch reaching deep within you. The sensation peaks when he does it together with the work of his mouth, as he nips and nibbles on your puckered nipple through the thin bra still covering your skin, drawing a few cries out of you.

It feels so good. The sensation fills your brain. But just when you are starting to give in to the pleasure he is giving you, Hanbin stops and pulls away, putting everything to a halt when he looks up at you.

“Can I take these off?” he whispers, but his words take a bit of time to register into your slow mind. The moment you realise what he is asking, you gently push him away and sit up.

“Let me do it,” you breathlessly say to him. Your body is still quivering, but you still manage to peel your undergarments off of your body before coming back down on the bed. But just then, as you are lying down with him almost hovering above you, his perusal gaze running down your naked skin, your self-consciousness returns. Your instinct kicks in, and you immediately cross your arms over your chest and press your legs together to cover yourself as much as you still can.

“I’m sorry…I don’t know why I’m feeling so nervous, and—”

“Sshh—Don’t be. It’s okay,” Hanbin says, smiling patiently. “I’m nervous about all of this too. It feels like a huge honour that you are asking me to do this with you.”

With his whisper, Hanbin leans in to capture your lips in his. He starts with a slow kiss, yet it feels passionate and delicate at the same time. You part your lips when you feel his tongue slipping out, allowing him to deepen the kiss, taking away your apprehension when the kiss grows heated and your mouths seem to melt with each other into one. His hand reaches down, tenderly grazing on your thigh before he pulls on it, guiding you to part your legs for him. Slipping his other arm around your waist to hold you up against him, the hand that has been gripping at your thigh moves upward, capturing your wrist, and he gently begins pulling your arm away from your chest.

“I can’t look at you if you keep covering yourself,” he whispers against your lips. Pulling back, he brings your hand to his face, his lips pressing down on your palm, then to your wrist, leaving you completely transfixed to his motions and the mix of sensations which he keeps bringing onto your body.

He slides his other arm away from your body and gently captures your other wrist, pulling it away from your body before he repeats his action, kissing your palm and wrist the same way he did the other. His action is so captivating that it takes a while for your slow mind to notice what he is doing. It isn’t until he gently pulls your arms further away from your chest, once your bare chest is exposed to the chill breeze flowing in your bedroom, when you finally realise what he has been doing to you.

“These arms—” he whispers hoarsely as he lowers your arms to your sides, “—stay here. You are free to grab the sheets or the pillows whenever you need to.” Rubbing your forearms, he sets down your hands to rest on the sheets. The gentle way he is tending to you soothes your nerves, only for him to spike them up again when he smirks at you and says, “Better yet, just grab onto me. I wouldn’t mind having your hands all over me.”

The way he says those words draws an audible gasp out of you, while your reaction brings a smug grin to his face. He leans away, pushing himself up to get a better look at you now that you are no longer covering yourself.

Under his gaze, you feel completely exposed—bare to his eyes not only for your naked skin, but also your bare soul. And the feeling intensifies when his dilated eyes are drawn to your naked breasts. As if mesmerised, Hanbin runs his gaze down your body, taking everything in with rapt attention. He waits until you are no longer tense before he finally releases your wrists.  

His gentle hands move down your body, finding your waist first, then proceed to trace his way down. Past your hips, he continues to go down, then carefully slips his palms to cup the underside of your thighs, bringing your legs apart. He does it ever so gently, not rushing while trying to make sure that you are still comfortable with the way he is handling your body. He stops just enough to give him space to shift on the bed and take his position between your legs. Once he is settled nicely over your body, he then runs his hands upward, tracing the inner side of your thighs with a delicate touch that still sends your skin prickling with need.

Your body tenses for a brief moment when his fingers reach up between your legs, and you hold your breath, anticipating his touch right at your tender core. Yet, he simply moves his hand away, reaching around it to return to your waist. You feel yourself relaxing from it, although there is still a hint of disappointment lingering in your chest for not feeling his touch. But that feeling quickly fades the moment you realise that he is still tracing his fingers up your torso, carrying on his journey to make his way up your body while feeling your soft curves with his palms.

He doesn’t stop until the tips of his fingers gently graze across the underside of your breasts. The touch draws an immediate gasp from you, and it surprises you when your body jolts to the touch of his fingers. Never once have you experienced this kind of sensation. It feels different compared to all those times you were touching your own breasts while trying to picture how it would feel to have someone embracing you there. Not even when he would innocently brush his fingers over them through your clothes while you were making out with him, teasing you about it without actually making it happen. And now he is making all of your fantasies come true, and the sensation is way beyond what you had ever imagined, as his hands and fingers set alight the delectable tingles which bring all your senses awake. Your back arches when he continues further, when he tenderly cups your soft flesh with his palms, feeling their weight on them.

Despite the confidence and reassurance that he has been showing you, you keep sensing all the subtle hints that he might just be as nervous as you are at this moment, allowing you to believe his words when you can feel them resonating from him. You could feel it from the first touch, when you felt him trembling, faint shudders coming out of his fingers which faded merely moments after he laid them on your skin. And now, you can feel it again, when he stalls just for a second before he begins kneading, giving tender massages on your soft mounds.

His palms and fingers move around your breasts, working on your body by giving you a gentle caress. Hanbin keeps his eyes on your face the entire time he is doing this. He keeps actively searching for a sign of discomfort, making sure to catch it in case you suddenly want things to stop.

You open your eyes and arch your back once more when his touch becomes bolder, and he takes this as a sign that you are doing okay. Still paying attention to your reactions, he moves one hand to graze the tip of your breast. A shuddering wave rocks through you when he brushes against your nipple. You can feel your nub hardening under his touch, your skin growing tighter, while your blood boils hotter when he continues, repeating the tender movements until you are used to it. He then takes your pebbled nub between his fingers, giving it a few slow strokes and pinching it in between.

Moans after moans keep slipping out of your lips, when each stroke he gives you lights up delightful sparks rushing through your body. Loving how responsive you are, he then moves to the other breast, giving it the same treatment as the previous one until the tip grows just as hard as the other. He keeps rolling his fingers around your hardened nipple, then leans down, capturing the other into his mouth.

“Oh—” you react with a gasp. Hearing this, Hanbin immediately stops and looks at your face.

“—okay, baby?” he asks you and stalls for a moment as he waits until you are giving him the green light to continue. His voice sounds breathless, but it is the way his words seem to fade in and fade out through your head which makes you feel unsure if you had indeed heard him whispering them to you.

You take this time to inhale a deep breath, and give yourself a moment to process this new sensation flowing through your body. It felt maddening when the moment his mouth grazed across your nipple and it felt like you were struck with something hot, rushing through your blood which was flowing down south. And the feeling still lingers even as he pulls away. Your nipple is still slightly wet, allowing you to feel the pulses that appear on the tip from your rushing blood, while his lips remain to hover right above it. So close, but not touching, though feeling his warm breath falling on your sensitive bud make it seem like he still has your nipple captured between his lips.

You try to focus to relax, to brush away your nerves until you are no longer fighting against the rush that is coming to life inside you. Once you are ready, you look at him and nod your head, whispering, “I’m okay,” so that he can continue.

You watch with bleary eyes as he once again takes the tip of your breast into his mouth. He starts with a light suck, kissing it briefly before wrapping his lips around it once again. Then his tongue comes licking, lapping, before he goes back to sucking again. He keeps alternating between each ministration while he maintains giving the other breast similar attention, using his fingers as he keeps rolling and pinching on your nipple, giving you a mix of sensations that keeps running wild through your whole body.

Slowly, the pleasure you are feeling from the work of his mouth, tongue, and hands begin to reach its peak. While your mind is muddled by the overload of emotions, your body seems to gain a mind of its own as it begins to move without you realising it.

Your hand comes up to him as he keeps devouring your breast, fingers sinking between the strands of his hair to keep him attached to you. Underneath his weight, your hips start moving, instinctively matching the rhythm of your pulse that comes in a constant wave from your core. The more you are lost in the pleasure, the harder you are grinding your center against his crotch. The stretchy fabric of his boxer briefs feels rough against your bare pussy, making your whole body tremble each time you rub against him.

Hanbin gives your nub a light bite, and your hips jolt upward, sending your folds brushing just a bit harder against his covered hard-on, drawing a cry out of you when you feel how hard he has become. Even while tending to your needs, Hanbin’s need begins to become more evident when he starts rolling his hips in response, grinding his covered cock against your wet core.

He releases you with a grunt just then, when all the rubbing and brushing are starting to affect his body. With a shy grin on his face, he slips his fingers through the waistband of his briefs and begins pushing them down his hips. His hard shaft springs out, pulling your attention to it. Your eyes seem to be drawn to it that you cannot look away, not paying much attention to him as he pushes the briefs all the way down his legs.

The moment he returns to you, Hanbin is completely bare. His cock twitches under your perusal gaze, while your body seems to throb. It starts from deep within your core, as the thought of him burying himself inside you comes flashing into your mind. Then it rushes upward, swirling inside your chest. It builds up your expectation, and in return, something warm is brewing inside. Something similar to a sense of hunger.

It doesn’t take long for you to recognise this feeling as desire, lust, and you choose not to fight it. The feeling isn’t something new or unfamiliar, yet you have never felt it affecting you so strongly before. Never once has it made you feel so wanton with need before the way it does now. Nothing that had felt so carnal you just feel like you are losing control of your own body just by the sight of him, or by the touch of his hands the moment they return to you.

His eyes glint an amused glow when he seems to notice this change in you, and he continues running his hands down your waist, slowly grazing your hips, and then he moves lower. Cupping his palms on the under curves of your bottom, he gently lifts your hips up, just slightly off the bed with your thighs parting further for him, giving him a clear view of your pulsing center and the wet mess that you have created.

“I wish you could take a look at yourself,” he hums as his penetrating gaze lingers on the area between your legs. The way he is staring at you feels so intense that you could almost feel it, like he is touching you without his hands or fingers, and your pussy pulses in response. “Can you feel it? You’ve grown wet down here. I bet you’d feel hot too if I touch you now. You even stained my briefs, and I’m usually the one staining them whenever you rubbed against me,” he murmurs absently while he starts tracing the tips of his fingers up and down your thighs. He stops when he gets too close to your center, yet keeps his fingers hovering just an inch away from the source of your wild throbbing.

“I—yes,” you gasp softly. Even without him touching you directly, the throbbing intensifies further, and you can feel something cold on your skin when you try to move your hips. “I didn’t realise I was making a mess on you,” you add, as you slowly process his words. Your face immediately burns hot as you recall all the time that you spent with him, all the nights making out either on his couch or on your bed, just like this.

Almost like this.

Before, you would still be able to keep your clothes on. The farthest you had ever come was when he pulled you onto his lap, the first time he introduced you to the pleasure of an orgasm with his sinful hands gripping the soft flesh of your bottoms while you were grinding wantonly against his covered cock. The memory from that night has been permanently engraved in your mind. You still remember the mind-blowing pleasure erupting from your body, something that had kept you awake on the long, lonely nights that you spent replaying that moment over and over again inside your head. Right now, as you are lying still beneath him, feeling the same desire brewing inside your body, you nearly fail to resist the urge to rock your hips to ease yourself from it.

Your body has silently been begging to feel his touch, to be relieved from this carnal need you are having. It makes you feel—worried. Not completely sure how to process this new feeling taking over you. Your instinct is telling you to fight it until it goes away, while your curiosity is slowly growing stronger, pushing you to give in and let things happen.

As if Hanbin could read through your mind and hear you questioning yourself, he gently caresses your hips, just when you are beginning to grow tense beneath him in your uncertainty. “It’s okay. Take your time. Take a deep breath,” he says, helping you to relax. So you take a moment to take in everything while trying not to panic when the rush comes back in small waves.

Every doubt quickly fades when Hanbin suddenly moves his fingers. A subtle graze comes across your folds, a brief touch that quickly arouses your senses before he takes it away. “Can I touch you here?” he asks as he once again brings his fingers closer to your center, with just the tip of his thumb teasing your folds. Your hips jolt upward. You are surprised to notice how quickly your body reacts to his touch and how sensitive you are feeling with one subtle brush of his finger.

This wouldn’t be the first time he would be touching you there. But it would be the first time for you to be able to feel his touch directly on your skin. Before tonight, you could only imagine how that would feel like. Because on those previous nights, he could only press down on your cunt from over your shorts or panties, creating a wet spot on your undergarments instead of capturing your wetness from its source.

With not a piece of clothing getting in the way this time, yet another part of your fantasy is coming to reality, and your heart beats faster as you anticipate his touch.

“Yes—” you whisper to him, ready to feel his hands on your heat the way you had always wanted. “Touch me, Hanbin.”

Hearing your plea, he no longer holds himself back. With one hand resting on your waist to keep you still, he moves the other closer to your center. He starts by rubbing his fingers on your folds, up and down, back and forth, slowly inching his way to your slit. Looking down, he drags his tongue across his lips slowly, deeply focusing on the task in hand as he gently spreads your folds, exposing your wet pussy and your swollen clit that suddenly throbs under his hungry gaze.

Hanbin gently presses the tip of his finger at your throbbing entrance, drawing a low, keen moan from you. The sound you are making seems foreign even to your own ears. It makes your skin hot, and your face flushes with embarrassment, though it slowly fades when you look at his face and notice how much he seems to enjoy watching and listening to the way you are responding to him.

He licks his lips and presses a bit harder. This time, your body doesn’t tense as much as it did, and you can start feeling the pleasure that his touch is giving you as you feel him dipping in, stopping right the moment he has the first knuckle of his finger in. Your body seems to welcome him, the unfamiliar feeling of your muscles straining to let him in gives you a slight discomfort for a brief moment, though it quickly fades as he continues. He moves his finger in and out of your pussy, and your body reacts with your muscles straining and loosening around his digit, taking time to adjust until you begin to feel a new sensation building up.

“Is this hurting you, baby?” he asks while keeping his eyes on your face, searching for any sign of pain or discomfort. Whatever he sees only makes him seem amused, however, yet he remains patient, waiting until you can find your voice and let him hear your thoughts.

“No, not really. It feels…weird,” you mutter, not completely sure how to explain what you are feeling to him or to describe it with words. You feel no pain nor discomfort, just the unfamiliar sensation building up into a hot, intense rush that keeps on growing the more he continues, going an inch deeper as he strokes his finger back into you.

While you are busy processing the waves rolling up and down your body, Hanbin shifts on the bed a little, and pulls out his finger from your pussy. Before you have the chance to protest, he slides back in, changing the angle just enough to let you feel the rush multiplying into waves of pleasure, growing from small spasms to a series of intense shudders that makes your entire body shake. “Oh, that feels good.”

Hanbin takes your reaction as a cue, and he continues to slide his finger in and out of you, keeping a slow and steady pace until you are finally adjusting to him. Once he senses the change, with your hips slightly lifting to welcome the thrust of his finger and soft moans slipping out of your lips, he pushes his way in, adding another inch to reach deeper. Curling the tip of his finger as he is doing so, he brushes against your sweet spot. The first touch draws a gasping moan out of you, so he knows that he is doing it right. He keeps repeating the motion, over and over, keeping his strokes gentle all the time until you become a quivering mess under the magic that his hand is making. You grow wetter under his touch, as you embrace the pleasure that is slowly rising by rocking your hips, matching his rhythm as you grind your pussy against his hand.

“Hanbin…Hanbin, baby,” you keep chanting his name with a series of gasps and moans slipping in between. You can feel him reaching as deep as he possibly could each time he pushes his way back in, and it is starting to take him a bit longer when he withdraws from you. With each stroke he gives you, the slick sound of his finger going in and out with the help of your arousal starts getting louder and louder, just as it gets easier for him to move.

“Open your eyes, baby. Look at me. Look at what I’m doing to you.”

His voice fades in and out, yet you feel it sinking into your head after a brief moment. Slowly, you open your eyes, finding his face lowered just enough to get closer to you. You didn’t even realise that you had your eyes closed shut, a reaction that you made subconsciously at the height of this new sensation that has yet to show any sign of waning down. Your gaze drifts down, and only then do you finally have a closer look at what is doing to you.

His hand pushing and pulling between your parted legs, his finger going in and out of your pussy, getting more and more wet and slick after disappearing for a brief second. But the one thing that you only start to notice now is the way you are steadily moving with him, your hips rocking into his hand, as if having a mind of its own as you move rhythmically to match the movement of his hand.

“Do you see what I’m doing to you?”

Nodding your head, you reach out to grab a hold on him. Your hands find leverage on his upper arm and shoulder as you continue to rock your body onto his hand, embracing the pleasure that he is giving you.

“Tell me with words. Tell me what’s happening.”

Biting your lips, you try to push down the heat rushing onto your face before you can find the right words. “You are—” you gasp when his finger pushes against a spot inside you that causes your body to tremble. “You are fucking me with your fingers.”

Almost instantly, your face flushes with heat. You rarely ever cursed or said these words, yet it feels so right given to this very moment. As if he wants to reward you for it, Hanbin smiles and leans in to press his lips on your temple. His gentle kiss distracts you from his other hand that reaches down, grabbing gently on your wrist to guide your hand down between your bodies.

“Touch me, baby,” he whispers with a hoarse voice, his chest trembles under your palm while he moves the other all the way down. The tips of your fingers brush against his rigid shaft, drawing a gasp out of your lips when you realise what he wants.

“Okay, baby?” he tentatively asks you, only for you to nod. It brings a smile to his face, and you drift your gaze lower, watching as he helps you wrap your dainty fingers around his girth. He feels warm and sturdy against your skin. A few subtle pulses appear from the length of his cock just as you touch him. You can even feel him twitch under your touch, and as if it is even possible, he seems to grow even harder and bigger between your palm.

“You’re so hard,” you whisper to him before you can stop yourself, causing him to chuckle a little.

“Because you’re touching me,” he whispers back with a groan. Placing his hand above yours, he gently starts guiding you to move your hand, sliding it back and forth on his length to give him a light stroke. “Do it gently. Like this,” he says, and you follow suit, doing just as he is showing you. You feel him twitching in your hand again as you go back and forth, up and down his length, until he quivers a little and a soft groan is drawn out of him. “That’s it. That feels good. Keep on going, baby.”

As you continue stroking him, keeping the pace steady, he gently withdraws his finger out of you. You look down to watch him pull out, and softly sigh as he adds another finger on his way back in. “Oh…oh, God,” you gasp at the feeling of being stretched out further, and at the way your body reacts to the delightful sensation that you are still quite unfamiliar with yet definitely welcome.

The sweet pleasure runs rapidly through you. Some parts of you begin to pulse, pacing at the same rhythm as his touches. Your inner walls are clenching around him each time he draws his fingers inside you, while the tips send your body rocking with a maddening wave of bliss as he curls them to rub against your walls.

Right at the same time you are savouring your pleasure, Hanbin starts giving in to his own. You look up at him as he rocks his hips, thrusting his cock into your hand while you continue stroking him. His eyes are partly closed, while his jaw has grown slack. The sound of his breathing is mixed with a few soft moans. You take in everything, refusing to close your eyes to see what you are doing to him. Knowing that you are the one drawing these reactions out of him helps make you grow more confident.

Strangely enough, your body also grows hotter seeing him like this.

“I want to put my lips—” he says between each stroke he is giving you, pressing hard into your pussy as he breathes out, “—right here.” You gasp as you imagine him crawling down, his lips pressing on your nether lips to give it a kiss, and his tongue—which makes an appearance as he slides it across his lips—would be tasting you, pressing into your slit and moving the same way he is rubbing his thumb across your clit. Your body shakes more intensely, and you instinctively begin to rock your hips harder, faster, hoping that his touch would help snap off the knot that keeps tightening in your core.

“I want to taste you. But I’ll save it up for next time,” he groans softly. “Right now, I want to look at your face when you cum around my fingers.”

And just like that, the tight knot that you have been feeling in your core snaps. With a single thrust of his fingers inside you, a firm press of his thumb on your clit, and you come into a shuddering climax. You cry out his name as it comes through you like a wave, your entire body keeps vibrating with intense pleasure as it strikes you again and again.

Everything feels like such a blur while you are lost in the sea of bliss, that it feels like an eternity lasts while your body is jerking and spasming as you are consumed by the pleasure. Though you can still Hanbin’s presence, as he helps you ride out your high with his fingers moving slower, much slower, before he eventually comes to a halt and gently pulls out of you. His kiss on the delicate skin of your neck draws you back in, helping you to gradually start coming back to the present.

Yet the fog only fades when his grip on your hand tightens. You open your eyes, realising that in the height of your pleasure, you haven’t lost your steady hold on his hard-on. Your hand, the one that wasn’t holding on tightly to his arm, is still wrapped around his cock. The fact that you hadn’t been so lost in your bliss to squeeze around him too hard is beyond you, but you managed, and you instinctively start loosening your hold around him, only for him to stop you from making it happen.

You are unable to because he still has one hand wrapped around yours. And that same hand is still guiding you to move, even if you have been stroking him at an unsteady pace. Gathering your bearing just enough to command your body, you try to control your pace, finding a steady rhythm that would help make him feel the same pleasure as the one he gave you.

And it doesn’t take long for you to get what you want.

You continue to stroke his cock, his breath and his moans growing louder and more rapid once you repeat the ministrations at a steady pace. Not too fast, and definitely not too slow. And you are no longer gripping him too tightly, just enough to make him feel the clamp of your touch keeping a possessive hold around his pulsing cock. You keep stroking until his moans turn to whimpers, until the movement of his hand starts losing its vigour and he starts letting you set up the pace.

Soon, there is a twitch pressing against your palm, a sign that he is close. His hips shudder as it happens, and Hanbin quickly captures your wrist, stopping you from going further. His hot blood continues to pulse under your palm when everything comes to a halt, and Hanbin opens his eyes, smiling at you when he says, “That felt so good I almost came.” He starts chuckling, sighing deeply when he admits, “I don’t want it to end so soon. If I have to cum, I want it to happen while I’m buried deep inside you.”

He pulls your hand away and entwines his fingers with yours as he lowers himself. You can smell his arousal in the air, mixing together with the sweet scent coming from your body. You can feel his rapid heartbeat when his chest comes pressing against yours. Even the trembles that you caused on him are still there when you press one palm over his shoulders, though you can also feel your own trembles when his thigh comes nudging against yours, parting your legs further for him.

He then takes your attention away from everything with one lingering kiss. He kisses you on your lips, your chin, your neck, moving unhurriedly before returning to your lips with more vigour, his kiss grows so intense he completely swallows the sound of your moans.

He kisses you for a moment longer, then pulls away to reach out to the box of condoms on his nightstand. Watching this, your heartbeat begins racing.

It’s happening, you silently wonder as you watch him move.

Hanbin’s hand trembles a little as he rips the box open. The same box that you had bought on an instinct, hours before things had even begun to escalate into this very moment. He returns to you with a piece of the condom between his fingers. His gaze finds yours as he rips it open, and your hand flies up to stop him from pulling it out.

He frowns, suddenly looking doubtful. But that look is gone when you whisper to him, “Let me put it on you. I already told you that I want to learn everything.”

With a sigh of relief, Hanbin allows you to take over. His hand comes down together with yours to guide you through it, and you watch amusedly how his body quivers as you roll it down his length. His words fade into a groan when he feels your fingers on him, as if your action only turns him on even more. Again, this gives you more confidence, enough to get you to run your fingers teasingly along the entirety of his length once you are done.

Once the condom is on, you lie back down, bracing yourself and opening your legs wide for him. Your eyes are wide open as you wait for him to continue. Hanbin leans in, kissing your temple gently while slowly sliding in to take his place right between your legs. The moment he crawls on top of you, a wave of fear washes over you as reality sinks in so suddenly.

He must have seen it, because a warm smile comes to his face and he takes your hand in his. He takes a moment to kiss your knuckles, before brushing a thumb across your cheek. “You have to tell me if this is truly what you want. We can stop now if you think we’re going too far,” he whispers, and you quickly nod your head.

“I do. I still want this,” you breathe out. “I want you. I want to try and do everything with you. I’m not going back down now.”

With a proud smile, Hanbin covers your body with his. His lips return to your skin, finding your lips briefly then down to your neck again, kissing and suckling softly as the throb of his hard shaft is teasing you so mercilessly as it is laid between you, pressing against your mounds. He makes a low, rumbling groan when you subtly rock your hips against him, brushing at his length.

He is almost breathless when he breaks the kiss and pulls away, but the desire in his eyes comes out so strongly that you easily get lost in it, and you nearly miss it when he settles down in his position against your center. He takes his rigid shaft in his hand and presses the tip to your petals. You look down, noticing your glistening folds spreading around his crown, but he makes no move to push forward. With a brush of his thumb across your cheek, Hanbin calls for your attention so he could ask you one last time,

“This is it. Are you ready?”

Overwhelmed with nerves, you can only nod your head to answer. But he isn’t having it and asks again, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, baby. Please, I can’t take it anymore,” you finally answer him with a soft whisper.

In return, Hanbin presses one hand on your hips, holding you down while he reaches down to wrap his cock with his other hand to guide himself to your center. The next thing you feel is a nudge as he aligns himself at the entrance of your pussy, the thick head of his cock pressing in, and your heart starts galloping in your chest. As if he can sense your body growing tense, he looks deep into your eyes and whispers, “I’ll make it so good for you, baby.”

You look up at him as you sigh, giving him a smile. “I know you will.”

He presses the head of his cock against your pussy lips again, giving it more pressure. This time, your body no longer tenses upon contact. He also makes it easier for you to adjust to him by rubbing his cock against your slit, going back and forth with a couple of slow strokes, gathering your arousal while making your body shudder with his steady rocking. Soon, your body relaxes, and the shudders you are experiencing begin to draw soft moans coming out of your lips. And he knows right then that you are ready.

"Here we go, baby,” he says with a soft groan, and pushes the head of his cock into your tight virgin pussy.

“Ah—” you scream out when a sting of pain shoots right through you, causing you to take a sharp inhale of breath.

You had expected that it would hurt. Yet, instead of feeling as if you are being ripped into two the way you had imagined it would, the sting only comes in for a brief moment before it slowly begins to fade along with the pulses from your rushing blood. The pain feels sharp and hot that you can feel it rushing all the way down to your toes, your legs become tense because of it. Your body becomes still, while your mind seems to take a while to take in all this new sensation overwhelming you—the subsiding pain, the spasms building up inside you that are pressing around him, his presence that makes you feel so full.

Hanbin doesn’t move, giving you time to adjust to him while he waits to make sure that you are no longer in pain. He leans down and starts kissing the column of your throat, the side of your neck, pressing his lips against your pulse to help you relax. You can feel the pulses between your legs shift from pain into pleasure, your muscles beginning to welcome him instead of fighting his presence, and you begin to slightly lift your hips, rocking in small increments as your silent plea for him to start moving.

This time, his body reacts first. He quivers on top of you and subtly gasps, but he is quick to gather himself and pulls away. You open your eyes, looking up to his face to see the look of love and adoration coming out of his eyes. It warms your heart so much that it adds to the sensation when he slowly begins to move. He pushes inside a little more, gently stretching you out until he feels your muscles growing too tight for him to continue and pulls back, just enough for him to leave the head of his cock inside you.  

While you dread the thought of him pulling out of you, the delightful feeling of his girth sliding and pressing against your pussy walls is distracting you enough to stop you from protesting, and so does the sight of his chest and arms flexing as he moves above you. Hanbin seems to be affected by the pulses enveloping him as well, when he moves with a low, deep groan coming out of his lips. He waits for another pulse to subside and pushes his way back in, pushing deeper this time before sliding back out. He repeats it a few more times, moving in small increments until your muscles are no longer clamping around him, allowing him to move much easier.

Soon, he begins thrusting and sliding his hard shaft in and out of you at a steady pace. With each stroke, each deep thrust he gives you, the pleasure comes in waves, rising rapidly just as he begins to push harder.

“Ohhh…fuck!” he curses under his breath, his mouth falling open. In your eyes, he appears like a whole new man overcome with lust as he rocks his hips, pumping his cock inside you faster once he gives in to his desire.

“Oh, Hanbin,” you moan loudly when he hits the right spot. You just cannot help it when your body rocks back to welcome him. The feeling of him filling you up so completely, how he keeps bottoming out at your utmost depth as he thrusts inside you is overwhelming, but you take it all, spreading your legs wider to allow him to move freely over you.

He keeps repeating the motion, delving in deep and spearing you beneath him. Low grunts keep escaping his lips with how much pleasure he is feeling from being buried inside you, while your own voice comes out almost breathless, the silent cries of pleasure you are making fading beneath the constant sounds of skin slapping against skin, the bed creaking beneath your weight, and the force of his lovemaking that keeps rocking you to a new height.

You force yourself to keep your eyes open, taking it all in, making sure not to miss a single moment of your first lovemaking. This moment feels magical, but nothing defeats the beautiful sight of your lover embracing this moment together with you. How his eyes are locked on yours the entire time he is pounding into you, how his soft cries keep escaping between his ragged breath, and how his body moves so fluently, mesmerising you while he is doing all the sinful things to your body.

You can feel him throbbing within you, just as intensely as the throbs that are formed within your pussy walls. There is so much desire written on his face while his cock seems to respond to your body. He gives one hard thrust, and you feel your muscles quivering, the familiar spasms of your impending climax coming to wake.

The tempo of your tryst continues to build up, and you almost believe that you can feel him bulging inside you and growing thicker, stretching your walls further around his width. It feels amazing, completely maddening, even, when the pleasure just keeps rising, and rising, until you feel like you have nowhere else to go from here.

“Hanbin, baby…I’m close—” you whimper to him just when your pussy walls clamp around him, your stomach coiling tightly with the need for release.

“I…so do I, baby. You feel so damn good,” he gasps, nearly growling as he speaks. He forces his head down to press his lips on yours again as he starts to cause your body to shake with his pumping hips and cock. His lips brush against yours in a sweet way while his body burns hot with lust. Then he growls to your ear, whispering in an almost commanding way which immediately sets you off, “Let go for me, baby. Cum around my cock. Come with me.”

He picks up his speed, fucking you harder and faster. A jolt of pleasure shoots straight through you, but it isn’t enough. While he continues to rock his hips, you reach down between your bodies to find the little bud that he was teasing earlier to make you come. The sensitive flesh is still vibrating with need, sparks start going through your entire body the moment you touch yourself.

But Hanbin isn’t having it, refusing to let you please yourself when he wants to be the one to give it to you. He reaches down and pulls your hand away, replacing it with his fingers instead. His thumb comes pressing on your clit, circling it better than you ever could. Your body arches as he touches you so expertly, his thumb gliding over your clit, pinching on it, making you cry out his name in your carnal pleasure.

The rush of your climax grows stronger, and you simply let go of your inhibitions. Immediately your mind goes blank, leaving no room for others but the intense pleasure ripping through your body as you fall into your blinding orgasm. Your climax sends him falling to his own, his face contorting as he embraces his release. He gives you his one final thrust, pushing into you so deep until you are screaming loudly once again when you feel like your whole world is shaken with its force. He holds you there as he makes you take his entire length as it throbs and pumps into you.

“Hanbin!” you cry out again when a smaller spasm of your climax washes through you. You welcome it by grinding against him wildly while being pinned beneath him, and he bucks into you, his cock pulsing against your walls as he spurts every drop of his release into the condom, though you can still feel the heat of it filling your insides.

Silence falls soon after, once everything comes to a halt. There is nothing left but the sounds of your ragged breathing and your pounding heartbeat. A thin layer of sweat appears between your bodies, while you feel like something is pooling underneath, something slipping out of your throbbing cunt.

It seems that the two of you have become a complete mess as you found your climaxes together. Completely sated and drained, neither of you makes any move to let go of the other, still embraced in each other’s arms while his shaft is still buried inside you.

The silence seems to last long, until he finally opens his eyes, his gentle gaze looking back at you when he smiles. Hanbin bends over you, exhaling a deep breath before giving you a slow kiss on your lips.

Keeping you distracted by it, he gently pulls out of you. The sting of pain that was left forgotten during your heated lovemaking makes its return as he slides against it, drawing a shocked gasp from you. But the sting doesn’t last, as the remnants of your climax pulses around him, your pussy still vibrating with the shadows of your pleasure to help you relax.

It takes a while for him to discard the soiled condom, and you make use of the moment of silence to gather your bearings. A touch of a warm cloth appears when he returns, and you open your eyes to see him gently tending to you, cleaning you up before wiping himself clean. You were so distracted with the waning pleasure and pain that you didn’t even notice what he was doing, but it feels so nice to be taken care of the way he is doing it to you, and you enjoy seeing him so focused on it he barely pays attention to you watching him.

Hanbin throws the cloth away once he is done with it and searches through your face upon returning to you, as if he is worried that the regret will begin to sink in. But you reach up to him, pulling him down to you so you can kiss his lips. Sighing into the kiss, Hanbin is overcome with relief, and immediately reciprocates by kissing you deeply, passionately, enough to steal your breath away yet again just when you had just managed to control it.

“Are you feeling okay? Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?” he begins asking you nonstop once the kiss stops, his concern is written all over his face, and you reach up to cup and stroke his cheek.

“I’m fine. I feel so good, actually. So good,” you answer him with a deep sigh, relishing on the final spasms fluttering in your core. “I’m glad I did it with you. You kept your promise on making it good for me. Thank you.”

Hearing this, Hanbin gives you a shy grin, the same grin that would always make you swoon. The wild lustful man that had taken complete control of your body is gone now, replaced by the shy and gentle young man that you have come to love so much.

“No regret, then?”

You shake your head. “None, whatsoever. And you were amazing too.”

His adorable grin widens at your compliment. “No, you were amazing,” he says, kissing the tip of your nose, while you are once again pleased with his praise. A spark of mirth appears in his gaze as he looks at you then, giving you a thrill even before he makes his promise, “And this is just the beginning.”

Your heart flutters. “Promise?”

Hanbin gives you a soft chuckle. “I always keep my word,” he whispers deeply, and you don’t really have to question him twice to know that he is definitely going to keep his word in the near future.

You part your lips to say something else. Yet instead of words, a long yawn is the only thing that you can give him.

“Tired?” he chuckles, while you can only nod to him, your mind and body grow weary as if you had just gotten all of your energy sucked out of you. “That’s fine. We’ll talk in the morning, okay?”

As he takes you in his arms, your eyes flutter shut, and you sigh heavily as you take it all in. Feeling sated, you fall deeper into the dreamlike state you have been in. You breathe in the scent of sex mingling in the air one last time, and allow yourself to be wrapped in his warmth with his hard naked body pressing against you.

—  © 2023 Yoonia, all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind is not allowed. translations are not allowed.

[hengqarae]

reckless driver

PAIRING ❄ kim mingyu x afab!reader WORD COUNT ❄ 10k words GENRE ❄ street racer au, angst, romance, smut (minors dni), the teeniest tiniest smidge of humor WARNINGS ❄ swearing, illegal activity (drag/street racing), making out, extreme pining, whirlwind romance, smut (fingering, protected sex), not proofread, brief hospital scene

you hate racing and you don't date racers. kim mingyu loves racing, and he finds out that he loves you, too, from the moment that he first lays eyes on you.

PLAYLIST ❄ reckless driving by lizzy mcalpine (ft. ben kessler) / yards / gardens by kate bollinger / btbt by b.i. & souljia boy tell 'em (ft. devita) / notice me by sza / nothing but the love by wrabel / with my eyes closed by cults / anyone by seventeen / angel eyes by abba FROM THE AUTHOR ❄ mingyu, crawling up my bias list because of my own fic that i wrote about him... i am a lizzy stan before i am a human, and the first time that i heard reckless driving, i knew that she was singing about mingyu (or, at least, the mingyu that i would one day write about). i hope that you enjoy reading this, and i hope that you are having a wonderful new year <3

You didn’t know what you were getting into when you visited the track that very first time. 

To your credit, you did not visit with the intention of falling in love. Your roommate, Lee Chan, had begged and pleaded for you to accompany him, to indulge, even just once, in this newfound passion of his. He had started racing to pay his bills, but quickly figured out that he enjoyed it. The rush of adrenaline made him feel alive, he’d tell you. You would always follow that up by telling him that he was chasing a high that could kill him one day. 

You didn’t support his racing. You hated saying goodbye to him when he left for races. You always found yourself anxiously awaiting news, tossing and turning whenever you tried to sleep, forced to occupy yourself with something to distract you while you waited for a call, a text, anything to assure you that he had finished the race safely and that he would be coming home at the end of the night. The possibility of getting arrested didn’t really scare either of you; you were mostly afraid that you would lose your best friend, and because of your own stubbornness, you weren’t going to be present if, and when, that happened. That’s the only reason that you started attending races with him. You’ve made sure that you’re abundantly clear about that, too. 

“It’s s'posed to be a really good race tonight!” Chan was practically bouncing in his seat. You hummed quietly in response, eyes trained on his speedometer. He was prone to driving fast when he was excited, and you were nervous enough at the prospect of him racing at all – your nerves didn’t need to be exacerbated by speeding down the interstate en route to the track. “All of the circuits are having their championships tonight, so if I place, I’ll get to move up to C! All the S racers will be there, too. Choi Seungcheol, Joshua Hong, Kim Mingyu – they're, like, gods in the downtown racing circuit.” 

“And which one do I have to thank for bringing you into racing?” 

Chan groans quietly, hands shifting their positions on the steering wheel. “Don’t talk to anyone. Even though I love and adore you, and your opinions are very important to me... I don’t know if your anti-racing agenda will be met very favorably tonight.” 

“What? I said I was going to thank them.” 

“Right.” Chan forces a smile. “Please do not talk to anyone tonight.” 

You huff quietly in response, shifting in your seat and crossing your arms over your chest. You hope that your phone has enough battery to get you through the night. You were definitely not going to watch Chan race, and you doubted that you were going to meet anyone at the track that could offer titillating conversation; that is, you weren’t interested in talking about racing or cars, and it was unlikely that you’d find anyone that could offer much beyond that. You’d likely spend your time in Chan’s car, scrolling through Tik Tok while you waited for him or until your battery died and you were forced to be alone with your own thoughts. 

At least, that had been your intention. When you and Chan arrive at the track, you’re quickly reminded of that saying about best laid plans. 

“Mingyu! What’s up, man?” Chan barely bothers to turn off his ignition before he’s bounding out of his car, greeting another man. One look tells you that this guy – Kim Mingyu, you’re assuming, as Chan had already mentioned him – is a racer, too, and you’re spurred out of the car to give him a piece of your mind. Chan only realizes that you’ve come up behind him once Mingyu’s gaze travels to you, and he’s quick to try and jump on offense. “M-Mingyu, this is my roommate. They... don’t race.” 

“They don’t like racing, either.” You offer, crossing your arms again, leaning against the hood of Chan’s car. You’re uncomfortable with the way that Mingyu is sizing you up, and you don’t miss the smug countenance plastered on his, admittedly handsome, face. Still, you find it difficult to peel your eyes away from his. He’s... hot. You had made it easier to villainize the sport by picturing all other racers to be stout, middle-aged men with receding hairlines. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Mingyu doesn’t fit that picture. 

“Roommates. Is that code for something, or is this actually platonic?” Mingyu keeps his eyes locked with you as he asks, even though you get the sense that his question is directed at Chan. You feel warm under his gaze, unsure if it’s because you’re uncomfortable, or if it’s because you’re finding yourself more and more attracted to Mingyu as you stare at him. Every few seconds, you have to remind yourself that he’s another stupid racer, and for that reason alone, it’s out of the question. 

“N-No, we’re just friends. Nothing like that. Why do you— oh, shit, hold on. Hoshi!” Chan pulls away before he can finish his own question, chasing after another man, leaving you and Mingyu still locked in on each other. His smirk seems to grow even wider, and you shift your weight. You wish Chan had stayed and finished his question. You, too, would like to know why Mingyu had asked. 

As nice as he is to look at, though, if you don’t speak to anyone else tonight, you’ll at least have told Kim Mingyu how you feel about his and Chan’s stupid racing. You won’t back down, even under the warmth that’s blooming across your skin. “Are you the one that brought Chan into this shit?” 

“Dirty words comin’ from such a pretty mouth.” 

“A-Answer the question.” 

Sliding his hands into the pockets of his jackets, Mingyu offers a shrug. “He was already into it when I met him. It was probably...” He looks around after he trails off before focusing back on you. You raise your eyebrows at him, waiting for him to continue, but he doesn’t. He only mimics your expression, raising his own eyebrows back at you. 

“Well? Who was it? Is he here?” 

“I don’t want to tell you.” 

You scoff. “I-I’m not going to hurt them. I just want to yell at them.” 

“Yeah, that’s why.” You knit your eyebrows together and Mingyu’s smirk grows even wider, turning into a full grin now. “I’d rather you yell at me instead. You seem like you’d be hot when you’re mad.” 

You’re at a loss. It’s been a while, if ever, since you’ve been flirted with so shamelessly, and as badly as you want to stay mad about your current situation – your best friend refusing to quit racing despite your constant protests and you, inevitably, getting dragged to the track with him – you're finding it hard to keep it together when Mingyu is looking at you like he wants to devour you. “I don’t fuck with racers.” 

“I think I could persuade you.” 

“I don’t want to be persuaded.” 

“I like a challenge.” Mingyu bends at the waist, meeting you at eye level from where you’re leaning on Chan’s car. You scrunch your nose when you catch a whiff of his cologne, telling yourself that no, you do not like how he smells. “God, you’re so pretty.” 

“Stop flirting with me.” You snap. 

There’s that smirk again. “Okay, angel.” 

You groan, rolling your eyes and throwing your head back. When you lift your head back, Mingyu seems to have gotten closer. If you reach out, you could grab the collar of his jacket and pull him even closer. Your fingertips tingle at the prospect, but you refrain. Instead, you take the opportunity to study his face up close, his smooth, tanned skin and his deep brown eyes and his plump lips. You must have been looking for a while, because Mingyu feels compelled to finally break you out of your trace. 

“You can look and touch, y’know.” 

“Pass.” You scowl, snapping out of it and leaning back, attempting to create some distance between the two of you. “Don’t you need to warm up or something?” 

“I don’t race for another few hours.” 

You set your jaw. What is this guy doing? Why is he wasting his time on you? You’re sure that, somewhere else within the track, he could find plenty of other people willing to swoon over him, ready to fall to their knees and offer him some pre-race stress relief. You weren’t one of those people. You hate racing. You hate that Chan fell into it, and you hate how you become too worried to function sometimes. You had met him in college, and for him to forsake the degree that he earned for the quick, easy money that he was getting now made your emotions flare. His business degree wasn’t going to kill him. Racing, eventually, will. 

The scent of Mingyu’s cologne is making you feel dizzy, enveloped in the scent of him, and under other circumstances, you’d already have him pressed against you. This was one of Chan’s races, though. You get enough of this shit at home from him; you aren’t going to bring any pieces back with you, too, even though you can imagine it would feel really good to touch Mingyu, and to have him touch you. 

Mingyu is perfectly content in standing and looking at you. He thinks you’re the second most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on, only behind his mother, and if today is the only day he’ll ever be able to see you, he wants to burn the image of you onto the back of his eyelids. 

You finally reach out a hand, pressing your palm against his chest and pushing him back. Nevermind how firm his chest is and how strongly you’re urged to grip his black t-shirt and pull him forward instead of pushing him back. He smiles even as you widen the gap between the two of you. “Is this what you want? You want me to go?” 

You open your mouth to respond to him, to tell him that yes, he needs to leave, but the words won’t come out. Maybe you don’t want him to go. Not yet, anyway. Maybe you like the way that you feel when he’s looking at you, feverish, skin prickling with a sense of urgency that doesn’t make sense to you. Your insides twist uncomfortably when you look into his eyes, and yet, you don’t want to look away. 

Fuck, you wish that he didn’t race. 

“Just tell me to go away and I will, angel.” 

You can’t. You don’t want to. There’s some kind of magnetic pole within Mingyu’s body, compelling you toward him even though you wish that you could get away. You’re stuck in his orbit, and it’s a little scary. 

“You should stop racing.” You respond, finally remembering yourself. “You’re gonna get yourself killed.” 

“Duly noted. How ‘bout a kiss, just in case I do get myself killed tonight?” 

“In your dreams.” 

“Yeah.” Mingyu laughs, running a hand through his hair and pushing it back at the forehead. “I’ll definitely be dreamin’ about you.” 

Your body moves faster than your brain, finally giving into the desire to have him closer. Instead of pulling him toward you, you’re stepping forward. You like the feeling of having your body pressed against his, but more than that, you like the feeling of your lips pressed against Mingyu’s. He smiles that same insufferable, self-satisfied grin against your lips, but even that doesn’t make you pull away. Instead, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer, fingers twirling in his hair. 

He puts his hands, big and warm, on your hips, holding you against him as you sink your teeth into his bottom lip. Mingyu groans in response and you take the opportunity to swipe your tongue against his top row of teeth. His grip becomes impossibly tighter, and he slides his tongue fully into your mouth, alternating between licking the inside of your mouth and massaging your tongue with his. Only when your lungs feel tight and burn from the lack of oxygen do you finally detach yourself from him, chest heaving up and down as you try to catch your breath. Mingyu flutters his eyes open, and the look in his eyes makes butterflies erupt in your chest. 

You untangle yourself from him immediately, running your hands through your own hair this time. “I--we—that--” 

“Was that you givin’ me material for my dreams?” 

“W-We shouldn’t have done that.” 

“We didn’t do anything. You kissed me.” 

“I-I know.” You’re still breathing heavily, your mind jumbled with thoughts of how you kissed Mingyu, how you should not have kissed Mingyu, and how much you liked kissing Mingyu. “That w-was a mistake. I didn’t mean to do that.” 

Mingyu juts out his bottom lip, red and puffy and tantalizing enough that you almost disregard your hesitation and dive in again. “You’re breakin’ up with me already? After all that we’ve been through?” 

“Stop making jokes!” You snap at him. “I-It isn’t funny! That—we--” 

“All we did was kiss. There will be plenty of opportunities to do it again.” You’re grasping at straws, trying to navigate through the fog that’s collected in your brain for a retort, when Mingyu’s phone goes off. He pulls it out of his pocket and, for the first time, you see him without a smile. “Call me, okay? Promise?” 

He backs away without waiting for a response, holding out his pinky finger toward you. You watch him retreat with a scowl on your face that only deepens once he blows a kiss at you, turning his back to you and taking off in a jog toward the racetrack. Once he’s been out of sight for long enough to ensure that he’s actually gone, you groan loudly, covering your hands with your face. Your face is hot, and your hands are clammy, and you keep thinking about how good it felt to kiss Mingyu, soft lips slotting between and sliding against yours, his fingers leaving your skin feeling scorched wherever they touched. 

You don’t know why you kissed him. You had been doing so well, holding yourself back and exhibiting some enviable self-restraint. Still, something in you had snapped, and you don’t know how you’ll be able to recover. On the bright side, you might never see Mingyu again. On the other hand, though, he’d shown a determination that makes you doubt he would let you go so easily. You can only hope that he’s just some playboy; that you’re the latest target of his conquest, that he’ll find somebody else and forget all about you. 

He told you that he liked a challenge, and unfortunately, you like being chased.

+ + +

Mingyu can’t stop thinking about you. He knew that this was going to be a problem when he first laid eyes on you and, lo and behold, he was lying in bed for the fourth night in a row, staring up into the dark, consumed with thoughts of you. 

He doesn’t know when he’ll see you again. He doesn’t know if he’ll see you again. What he does know is that he’s seriously lovesick, and you’re the only thing that’ll be able to cure him. This is not the type of person that Kim Mingyu is, though. Usually, he’s suave and charming, and he gets exactly what he wants... and then some. He’s so good at flirting because he does it so often, and yet, he wasn’t able to charm you completely. You’d kissed him – yes, you kissed him – and then, after his race, disappeared without another word. 

He is not a bad kisser. That’s a fact. And, yet, when you had kissed him, you had reacted like you’d committed some kind of grave sin. Mingyu has been with people that think he’s bad news, but that’s never served as an actual obstacle before. This is uncharted territory. He wants you. He wanted you before he even spoke to you; he wanted you as soon as he got his first glimpse of you. 

Your actions say that you want him, too, but your words have contradicted that, and Mingyu doesn’t know what he’s supposed to trust. He’s on the hook either way. 

He doesn’t know what time it is when he reaches for his phone on his nightstand. He doesn’t even know if this will work, but he’s got to try something. His sanity, and sleep cycle, depends on this. 

“Hey Siri, call Lee Chan.” 

The call gets picked up on the second ring, and Mingyu’s heart rate picks up, too. He releases a breath that he doesn’t even realize he’s been holding when he identifies the voice on the other end of the line. “Chan isn’t here right now. What do you want?” 

“I was calling to ask for you, actually, angel.” Mingyu sits up in bed, grinning into the phone. 

The silence on the other end of the line drives up his heart rate ever more, but when he hears shuffling, he’s able to relax a little. You haven’t hung up. “I’ll ask again. What do you want, Mingyu?” 

“Say my name again.” 

“I’m hanging up.” 

“N-No!” His face burns at how eager he must sound, but he doesn’t care to play it cool. Maybe with somebody else, but not with you. He has too much to lose to try and impress you. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I wanted to ask you to remove the spell you put on me.” 

His words cause your stomach to somersault. Truthfully, you’ve had a hard time since meeting, and kissing, Mingyu, too. You know that chalking it up to love at first sight would only exacerbate things. You don’t think it’s merely lust, though, either – you've always been able to restrain yourself. You’re careful with your feelings and your emotions, and there’s something there between you and Mingyu. You don’t know what, exactly, but you know that it can’t be there. You have enough on your plate, constantly worrying about Chan. You can’t add someone else, someone that does the exact same stupid stuff, into the mix. You need this to stop, for his sake and for yours. 

“I-It’s late and you’re probably just horny. Call someone else.” 

“What?” Mingyu’s incredulousness comes through clearly over the phone, and you nearly cringe at how harsh your words were. Still, you can’t indulge this. You shouldn’t. 

You want to. 

“N-No, I... I’m sorry.” You sigh, running a hand through your hair, frustrated. “Mingyu, I don’t fuck with racers. I told you that.” 

“Your roommate races.” 

“Yeah, and I hate that he does that, okay? I worry myself sick over him when he’s off racing. The only thing that I can be thankful about is that he does drag and not streets. But you do streets, too, don’t you?” Mingyu doesn’t respond, and you scoff quietly. “Yeah, I already know that you do. I-I can’t get involved with someone that risks their life all the time for money.” 

‘It’d be different if I were a cop, though, right? Or a firefighter? That’d make me a hero, right? This--” You hear him pause to take a breath. “I'm in love with you, okay? Completely and utterly smitten with you, to the point that it’s takin’ over my life.” Your breath hitches quietly at his confession, but Mingyu makes no indication that he heard you. “This isn’t my career. We can’t all tolerate cushy bureaucracy jobs. This is what I do now, for money, so that I can stop racin’ one day and retire, then and there. I want to enjoy my life. It’ll be more enjoyable if you’re in it. There is nothing else that I can say except for I’m sorry, and I love you.” 

“W-We just met, Mingyu. It hasn’t even been a week.” 

“I like to go fast.” 

You don’t know what else you can say. You can’t proclaim that you love him, not right now, but you’re sure that in a few weeks’ time, that’s where you’d be, too. Still, you know better. Mingyu is here today, but he could be gone the very next time that he has a race. That terrifies you. 

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say.” 

Mingyu’s at the end of his short rope. He had called in the first place so that he could hear your voice, thinking that maybe it could help him get to sleep. Now, though, he wishes he hadn’t called. He should’ve just suffered through his insomnia and continued suffering through it. It was better than the rejection he was facing. “Nevermind. Just forget it.” 

“Mingyu--” 

“No, angel, I—you kiss me, and then you push me away. You tell me to fuck off, then you tell me that under different circumstances, you’d be interested. I’ve shown you all of my cards, and you’re not interested in anteing up, so just forget it, okay?” 

You end the call before Mingyu can hear you cry. It’s all too fast, and you’re overwhelmed. You want him, but there’s one part of him that you just can’t accept. You aren’t reckless. You like to think things through, and you don’t do things on a whim. Kissing Mingyu had catalyzed a panic within you that you had lost control, and if you lose control once, you’re bound to do it again. It feels like you’re being backed into a corner with two options to get out: take Mingyu completely as he is or swallow your obvious feelings and leave him as he is. You clutch Chan’s phone tightly against your chest as you sob quietly, hot tears rolling down your cheeks even despite your attempts to stifle them. 

Mingyu, similarly, can’t believe what just happened. He’s too reckless. He bared himself to you too early, and the consequences that he’ll reap will not be good ones. He can’t help how he feels about you, and nobody feels more intensely than Kim Mingyu. He knows that he fucked up. He knows that he can’t come back from this, and he needs to cut his losses and find a way to get rid of his feelings for you. He doesn’t know how he’ll accomplish it, but if he never sees you again, that’ll probably be the fastest way he’ll be able to heal. He’s never cared for someone so deeply before he met you. He’s never known so immediately that he’s been in love. You’re it for him, and he doesn’t know what to do now that he’s already lost you.

+ + +

You shouldn’t have come. You knew that before you got into Chan's car, but now, with Mingyu’s gaze practically burning a hole into the side of your head, it’s been made abundantly clear. 

“Why is he looking at you like that?” Chan whispers while you shift your weight. “You never told me what happened between the two of you.” 

“I don’t want to get into it.” You mutter, willing yourself to look forward and not over at Mingyu, watching you from a distance like a predator observing its prey. It’s been weeks since your phone conversation. You were no less convinced that you were going to be able to forget about him, and a small part of you had hoped that you would come tonight and see somebody else draped around his arm, shocking you back into a state of rationality. 

That isn’t the case though, obviously, and you had to beg Chan to keep to you so that you aren’t vulnerable. You don’t know what you should expect from Mingyu. He’s reckless and volatile, and the way that you feel when you’re around him is... scary. As brief as your first interaction had been, you left with the sense that, if enough time had passed with you in his proximity, he would have replaced the necessity of air with himself; he would’ve become your air, and you would’ve suffocated without him. 

There’s something fantastic about the way that Mingyu has made you feel like you’re breathing and drowning at the same time, with just one little kiss and a simple love confession. 

“He's looking at you like you murdered his dog. Now he’s-- okay, now he’s looking at his phone... he’s looking at you again.” 

“I don’t need the play by play, Chan, thanks.” 

“Tell me what happened!” 

You shake your head. “I really don’t want to talk about it.” 

“Fine, then I’m leaving.” 

Your eyes widen and you turn to grab Chan, to pull him back and to keep him as your wall against Mingyu, but he’s out of reach before you’re able to react. In a matter of seconds, Mingyu has crossed the way and is standing in front of you, arms crossed tightly over his chest. You stare at him, horrified. 

He just scoffs. “You’re cruel, you know that?” 

“I-I’m not here--” 

“Yeah, whatever, you’re not here for me.” His hostility takes you aback, even though you know it’s deserved. You can tell from body language alone that Mingyu is still hurting. His words and tone of voice merely confirm that for you. “I-I don’t know how I’m supposed to get over you when you continue to show up to my races.” 

“It’s been weeks already, Mingyu.” 

“Yeah? And has the passage of time made you feel any better?” You don’t respond, turning away so that he can’t notice the tears brimming at your waterline. You’re biting your cheek to keep them from spilling. Mingyu knows better, though, and softens. Just a little. “I told you that I loved you, and I still do. I’m willin’ to do anything for you – anything except quit.” 

That’s the only thing that you need from him, though. “We barely know each other. You don’t love me.” 

“You don't know how I feel. You haven’t bothered to ask.” 

“B-Because you tell me even if I don’t ask! You don’t know me well enough to say that you love me.” 

“I can say whatever I damn well please.” He scoffs, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “There is somethin’ between us, you can’t deny that, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to foster this spark that we have. That’s love, isn’t it?” 

“That’s--” You cut yourself off, groaning in frustration. His words make your knees feel weak, but you’re not ready to let up the fight. “You’re too nonchalant about this for it to be love. It’s supposed to be something bigger. You can’t just look at someone for the first time and decide that they’re it for you!” 

“I can, and I did.” 

You shake your head, wiping away a stray tear with the heel of your hand. “I-I don’t love you.” 

“You don’t, or you won’t?” 

“You’re a danger to yourself! If you loved me, truly, then you wouldn’t put me through the risk of losing you every time you get behind the wheel.” 

It’s Mingyu’s turn to shake his head. “That’s all I am, then, yeah? I’m just a stupid guy that drives fast for money, and that’s all I’ll ever be?” Even when you open your money to respond, he ignores you and continues talking. “You’re doin’ this on purpose. You don’t want to admit to yourself that I’m more than what you’ve chosen to see. You won’t even give me a chance to be anything else.” 

The conversation is starting to make you dizzy. You press your middle finger to one of your temples, rubbing small circles against your skin. “It was just one kiss, Mingyu.” 

“Then kiss me again and show me that I got worked up over somethin’ that I shouldn’t have.” 

You can’t. You shouldn’t. You know exactly what needs to happen in order to prove to him that you aren’t the one, that he should back off and keep searching for the true love of his life, and you also know that you aren’t going to be able to fake it. You don’t feel your emotions as intensely as Mingyu does, but you’re never going to be able to escape this whirlwind if you kiss him now. 

You kiss him anyway. 

Your hands are trembling as you hold his face, pulling him in and pressing your lips against his. He lets you take the lead, slowly slotting his lips between yours only after you’ve initiated movement. Your actions are impossibly calculated as you try to exercise restraint, but, once again, you forget yourself. Your hands work their way into Mingyu’s hair – it's gotten longer since the last time that you did this – and you grip the strands tightly as you pull him closer. He, on the other hand, remembers his manners. He smiles against your lips before he pulls away, and the soft whimper that he hears from you nearly makes him dive right back in. 

“You’re so full of shit.” He whispers, eyes still closed, his lips ghosting against yours. “You love me.” 

“I-I don’t.” You respond, breathless. 

“Yeah?” He presses his lips against yours again, pulling away when you try to pull him closer and deepen the kiss. He’s taunting you, and you hate that you like it. You hate that he knows exactly what he needs to do to keep you wanting more. “Then we’re done here, I guess.” 

“No, we’re not.” Whispering against his lips draws a shiver up your spine. “Don’t go.” 

“You don’t love me, remember?” 

“Come home with me.” Mingyu stills against you, swallowing thickly. He hopes that you can’t hear his heart thumping loudly against his ribcage. “Skip your race and fuck me instead.” 

His chest tightens, as does his grip on your hip. “You’re---that’s not fair.” 

“I’m in love with a guy that does everything that I stand against. Life isn’t fair.” 

“R-Right.” Mingyu presses his forehead against yours, his eyes shut as he resumes his ministrations against your skin. He can’t believe how the tides have turned, but he’s not going to ruin it. Not again. Both of you are quiet as you even out your breathing, but finally, Mingyu cuts through the silence. “Counteroffer. I fuck you after my race when I’m ten grand richer.” 

“Get a real job, and then I’ll be impressed by you making money.” 

“Like a cop, right?” He punctuates his sentence with a kiss. “Or a firefighter?” Another kiss. “Aren’t men more attractive when they have money?” 

You exhale deeply as you pull yourself away from Mingyu. “Look, I—we—there need to be rules if we’re going to... be something. T-Together.” Mingyu raises his eyebrows in anticipation, and you sigh again. “Sex is a reward that you get when you skip races.” 

“That’s a punishment for both of us.” 

You ignore him and move on. “I don’t want to know details after the fact. Let me know as soon as possible if you’re alive or not.” 

That gets a laugh out of him. “Okay, I promise I will let you know as soon as I can if I die.” 

“That’s... all. For now.” You clasp your hands together, tilting your head as you look at him. “So? Are you skipping tonight.” 

“Baby, it’s ten grand.” Mingyu whines, reaching out and taking both of your hands in his. Your heart skips a few beats while he laces your fingers with his. “I’ll skip the one I have tomorrow. Promise.” 

“Maybe I won’t want to have sex with you tomorrow.” You lilt your words, looking to the side. 

Mingyu sighs loudly, swinging your hands gently. “I’d be content to sit and stare at you, too.” 

+ + +

As expected, Mingyu wins his race and the ten grand. As promised, he skipped his race on the following day and came to see you instead. That’s why you’re in his lap, and why his shirt is already off, and why you’re sure that he can feel how wet you are through your shorts. You opted to forego underwear in favor of easier access, and you made sure to encourage Chan to go out for dinner after his own race, too. 

“You’re such a fuckin’ tease.” Mingyu rasps, sliding a hand under your shirt. His hand travels against the expanse of your abdomen before cupping your breast, settling there to squeeze and knead your flesh as he continues sucking bruises against your collarbone. “Playin’ hard to get but wantin’ me just as bad.” 

“D-Dirty words coming from a p-pretty mouth.” You gasp, paying homage to something he’d said to you the first time that you met. 

Mingyu smiles against you, the feeling of his teeth grazing against the tender spots of your skin making you shiver. “It gets dirtier, angel, don’t worry.” 

You roll your hips against his, eliciting a groan. That spurs you on to do it again, pausing to gyrate against his erection, whimpering quietly at its contact with your core. There are layers of clothes in the way, but you know they’ll be gone soon enough. For now, the sweat collecting on Mingyu’s forehead, the parting of his lips, and the grunts and groans spilling from them are enough to keep you occupied. He squeezes your breast in response to the friction, using his other hand to cup your neck and pull your face down for a kiss. 

You sigh against his lips, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, languid movements that correspond well with the rhythm that you’re using to grind on his lap. He pulls away after only a few minutes, eyes following the trail of saliva connecting the two of you until it breaks, and then he looks at you. His pupils are blown out – probably just like yours – and your stomach flips at the wicked grin that blooms on his face. 

“Can I fuck you with my fingers first?” 

The words ignite a fire that quickly spreads across the expanse of your skin. You grip Mingyu’s shoulders and lift yourself off of him, hovering above his lap so that he can pull your shorts off. He groans when he sees that you aren’t wearing underwear, and his mouth waters at the prospect of tasting you. Today, he’ll go easy and prep you with his fingers. Next time, though, he wants his tongue buried in your folds until you’re begging him to stop. 

“Such a tease.” He says again, laughing to himself. “Turn around.” 

You do as he says, and he eases you against him with gentle hands on your shoulders. Your back is pressed against his chest, your heartbeat can be felt so strongly that someone could take your pulse by pressing just about another, and when Mingyu hooks his legs under yours to keep them wedged open, you know that you’re done for. 

He drops his chin and lets it rest on your shoulder, watching as best as he can as he slides his index finger up and down against your entrance, collecting your arousal. “I can’t believe you tried to keep this pretty little pussy from me. It’s mine now, though, isn’t it?” 

“Y-Yes,” You stutter out, gasping once Mingyu inserts his finger. He’s only partially inside, only to the second knuckle, but his fingers are so much longer than yours, and every other time you’ve fingered yourself doesn’t compare to how good it feels to have him inside instead. “It’s yours.” 

“Yeah, it is.” He coos, sliding his finger out and then back in. His rhythm is slow, and his movements are shallow, but as soon as he feels you relax, he’ll give you more. Normally impatient, Mingyu has all the time in the world to fuck you properly. He presses kisses against the side of your neck while he builds up a faster tempo, strands of hair falling over his eyes and tickling the underside of your jaw. You exhale quietly, and once he feels your shoulders drop, he inserts his finger completely on the next thrust. 

You whimper against him, back arching, and he uses the opportunity to wrap an arm across you diagonally, cupping your other breast through your shirt. “Don’t run away from me. I want you to be all stretched out and ready for my cock. You want my cock today, don’t you?” 

“Fuck.” You groan, tilting your head back to rest against Mingyu. He’s gradually picking up speed, and the way that you clench at his words only encourages him to do more; to say more, and to add another finger. So that’s what he does, slow as he brings in his middle finger, starting at just the second knuckle so that you can adjust to the feeling. “I want your c-cock.” 

“I know you do.” He presses his cheek against the side of your head, his lips positioned right against your ear. “You’re gonna get my cock. You’re gonna take it, all of it, everything that I give you tonight.” He punctuates his words by sliding both of his fingers into you fully, and the curl of his fingers makes you cry out involuntarily. He grins to himself and goes again, reaching for that same spot inside of you, grinning even wider when you cry again. “There we go. That’s where my baby likes to get fucked, yeah? Wish my tongue could go that far.” 

“Y-Your cock can reach.” 

Mingyu laughs out loud, stilling his fingers inside of you to stroke your g-spot again and again. “That’s true. I’ll make you cum with my cock next. Sound good?” You’re trembling in his arms, your legs having tried to clamp shut several times. He falls into a rhythm of cramming his fingers inside, hooking them and nudging your g-spot with them, and sliding them back out, and he gets so focused on making you cum that he furrows his brow, lips parted in the concentration. 

You’re panting loudly now, thrashing as best as you can in his hold, unable to run from the pleasure that’s edging closer and closer. “M-Mingyu--” 

“Fuck, say my name again, baby.” 

“K-Keep—fuck—M-Min--” 

“You’re doin’ so good. My pretty baby, such an angel.” 

It’s the praise that finally sends you toppling over the cliff; that, and his thumb kneading your clit, which you hadn’t even noticed until he stills his movements. You clench around Mingyu as you orgasm, and his ego grows three sizes at the ironclad grip that your pussy has on his fingers. He brings his free hand up to stroke the side of your face as you come, still pinning you against him with his forearm to keep you from slumping forward. “You don’t wanna let me go, huh? Want to stay like this forever?” 

“N-No.” You sigh, the stars in your vision finally subsiding. Your chest heaves up and down as you work to catch your breath, leaning back against Mingyu and turning your head to place a kiss against his cheek. “You promised to fuck me properly. Unless you’re too tired...” 

“Angel, if you’re implyin’ that I’m all speed and no stamina--” 

“I’m not implying anything. I’m wondering why your dick is still in your pants and not inside of me.” 

Mingyu stares at you, then blinks, and then smiles. It’s a real, genuine smile, not his signature smirk or crooked, self-satisfied grin. He tilts your chin up to place a proper kiss on your lips and then reaches behind him, blindly feeling the top of your nightstand until he finds the condom he’d brought. He eases you off his lap and fully rolls off the bed, offering you reprieve while he brings his cock out of his shorts. You watch with half-lidded eyes as he pumps himself, rolling on the condom with haste you haven’t seen from any of your previous sexual partners before. 

“We’re gonna go slow, okay?” He asks, slotting himself between your legs. He’s careful as he maneuvers himself around your limbs, groaning to himself once you wrap your legs around him and cross your ankles. You’re so eager now, but just yesterday, you almost rejected him for the second time. “Th-- y-you’re not going slow, angel.” 

“I thought you liked to go fast.” You draw out your words, lilting your voice. Mingyu ignores your comment, just this once, and grips you by one of your hips. He’s concentrated as he lines himself up at your entrance before letting go of his cock and swiping a finger against your folds again. You furrow your brows, sitting up as best as you can to look at him. 

He has the finger in his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around it. He only notices you staring at him once he pulls it out of his mouth. He grins, a little bashful, as he looks back down and grabs his dick again. “I forgot to taste you.” 

You clench around nothing at his words, groaning softly, but when he finally presses the tip of his cock against your slit, it feels like a jolt of electricity. You do your best to lay still as he inches inside of you, stopping every time that he feels resistance against him, but the tip of his cock nudges against your g-spot when he finally bottoms out and your back arches. Your hands flail around, looking for something to hold, something to keep you anchored, but you just have to settle for gripping the sheets on either side of you. You crumble the fabric in your hands, eyes squeezed shut, letting yourself adjust the feeling of Mingyu inside of you. 

Maybe today will be fine, but you can easily foresee having an insanely hot boyfriend with a big dick as being a problem in the future. 

“Let me know when I can move, baby.” 

“Can’t we just stay like this forever?” You sigh, lolling your head to the side and looking up at Mingyu. The sight makes your heart flutter; his hair is sweaty, pushed back at the forehead but with strands still obscuring parts of his vision; the different scratches, bruises, and bites that you’d given him while making out were finally starting to bloom red on his skin. He’s looking back at you, and the look in his eyes makes you think that he’d be content with that, too. “You can quit... y’know, your job... and just become my trophy husband. Keep the house clean and fuck me through my Zoom meetings.” 

“Sounds like a dream. Did we really go this far just so you could cockwarm me, though?” 

“No.” You laugh, reaching out for Mingyu. He meets you halfway, taking your hand in his and pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. “You can move now.” 

You don’t hear it clearly, but you swear that Mingyu whispers Thank God to himself before he slides his hands just above your ass, hoisting up your hips for the best angle. His initial pace is slow, painstakingly slow, but the string of moans that falls from your lips spurs him to speed up. At first, he sheaths himself completely inside of you before pulling almost completely out, leaving just the head of dick inside before thrusting back up into you. As he continues, though, he’s more urgent. He wants to minimize the amount of time he spends not inside of you, so his thrusts become shallower. He’s soon thrusting into you at breakneck speed, slowing every so often to make sure his angle is right and that you’re enjoying this just as much as he is. 

“How we doin’, angel?” 

“I want to ride you next time.” 

“Fuck.” Mingyu groans, sliding a hand up to caress your calf. The room is quiet, save for the squeaking of your bedframe and the sound of Mingyu’s balls slapping against you with every thrust. Every so often, he thrusts perfectly, and you’re brought up from the bed again. Mingyu curses himself that he didn’t ask you to take your shirt off – this would all be even better if your tits were bouncing in his face. “A-Are you close? What do you need from me?” 

You hold out your hand, and he grabs it. You’ll be able to show him better than tell him. You lead his hand down, pressing his thumb against your clit again. He immediately gets to work, rolling the nub between his thumb and index finger, and you hold onto his wrist as you gasp for air. His touch is cool against your feverish skin, and you tell yourself that you’re royally fucked just as Mingyu’s thrusts become staccato. 

“I--I’m--” 

“Inside, Mingyu, p-please.” You sigh, using your free hand to caress his bicep. “Cum inside of m-me.” 

“A-Are you s-s--” 

You draw him in closer to you, and the squeeze his body against yours, and the squeeze of your pussy around him, does exactly what it should. He’s loud as he cums, his body spasming as he shoots inside of you. You’re disappointed at the lack of warmth, warmth you would’ve felt if he hadn’t worn a condom, but there will be time for unprotected. For now, you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to bring yourself to orgasm while Mingyu rides out his own. 

You’re afraid that you’ve lost it, but Mingyu recovers quickly enough to resume his ministrations against your clit. For good measure, he leans down and kisses you, and all of the sensations – his cock still inside of you, his fingers on your clit, his tongue shoved down your throat – are enough to bring you back up and back over the cliff. Your whimpers are drowned out by Mingyu’s grunts as you squeeze around him. He lowers himself onto you completely as you ride out your orgasm, trembling and spasming underneath him until you’re finally able to go still. He finds enough energy to lift his head and look at your face, laughing when he notices the tear that’d rolled down your cheek. 

“Cute.” He reaches up and brushes it away with his finger, letting his arm drape across you. You don’t know how long the two of you lay like that; Mingyu, pressed on top of you, his cock still nestled inside of you, one arm draped across your body with his face nuzzled into your neck and you, pinned against the mattress, one hand caressing his back while the other cards through his hair. It feels like it’s been mere seconds, but an eternity could pass, and you’d still feel like it wasn’t enough time.

+ + +

It’s the call that you always expected, but simultaneously, always hoped you’d never get. 

You’re numb as you rise from your bed, rifling through your drawers in the dark for clothes to change into. It doesn’t feel like you’re responsible for moving through your bedroom, getting dressed as best one can when they can’t feel anything. Chan is already waiting for you at the front door, unwilling to look at your face as he leads you out, locking the door behind the two of you and following you into the elevator just as the doors start to close. He must’ve gotten a call, too. 

It feels right to drive in complete silence. You’re unable to convince yourself to bring your eyes into focus. Maybe, if you don’t look, then this won’t be real: you aren’t actually en route to the hospital’s emergency room, and you didn’t actually get a call from an unknown number, telling you that Mingyu had crashed during his race and that he was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. Chan isn’t actually driving you, speechless and quiet for the first time since you’d met him. You aren’t actually being led through the tiled corridor of the hospital, harsh fluorescent lights guiding your venture down the endless hallway toward your boyfriend’s room. 

Mingyu is drinking from a juice box when you finally set eyes on him. That little fucker. 

All things considered, he looks fine. His left arm is in a sling, and there’s a deep horizontal gash underneath one of his eyes, and there are bruises starting to bloom along the crook of his neck. Otherwise, though, he’s fine. He isn’t intubated, and actually, the only other things attached to him are an IV and the heart rate monitor clipped onto his finger. 

Chan enters the room a few seconds after you, letting out a huge sigh of relief at the sigh. He holds a hand to his forehead before swinging back around and stepping outside. He knows that he doesn’t want to hear the words you’ll choose to say to Mingyu. 

“I love you. I love you so, so, so much.” 

“Fuck you.” You spit, drawing in your arms and crossing them over your chest. He knows that he deserves this, but he still winces at the venom dripping from your words and the daggers that you’re shooting at him with your eyes. “I thought that you died, you fucking asshole! You—I am so fucking mad right now, I don’t even know what to say.” 

“I’m sorry. I-I was careful, I promise.” 

“You’re a fucking liar! You’re in the hospital, Mingyu. Careful people don’t go to the hospital!” 

You sit on the chair in the corner, purposefully away from your boyfriend, even though you didn’t miss the way that he scooted to the side in his bed to make room for you. You’re able to see his face better from this angle. He looks... tired. The bags under his eyes are more pronounced, and for the first time since you’ve met him, he doesn’t look happy following one of his races. Figures, since he’d crashed his car. Still, there’s something different about him today. 

“You must’ve been worried. I’m sorry, my angel.” 

You sigh loudly, shaking your head. “I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to be my boyfriend that works a shitty job. Hell, you don’t even need to work. We can survive on my income, and I can come home to you every day and that’ll be enough, because I’ll be happy, and you’ll be alive.” You take a breath after your monologue, exhaling slowly. “Because that’s the bar that you’ve set. I’m just happy that you’re still breathing.” 

“I have somethin’ to say, too.” You look up at him, raising your eyebrows and clasping your hands together. Mingyu chews on his bottom lip for a few moments before he sighs, too. “I’m a racer. I’ve been racin’ for... God, I don’t know. I’ve been racin’ for a long time.” You let your head fall, anticipating what he’s going to say. “All that I’ve ever cared about is going fast and makin’ money. And then I met you, and my priorities... shifted. A little.” You squeeze your hands together, willing yourself to calm down. Mingyu was proving your assumptions wrong with his words, but you don’t want to get ahead of yourself. 

“You... I think I’d rather die than lose you. I-I guess, if I died, that I would lose you, but th—that's not the point. I started fallin’ in love with you the very moment that I first saw you, and since then, I haven’t wanted to take my eyes off you. You’re everythin’ to me now. Racin’ is... I’ll quit. I’m sorry, and I love you, and I’ll quit if it means that we’ll stay together.” 

Hot tears are already rolling down your cheeks, and as hard as you try to keep that from Mingyu, your sniffling gives you away. He coos from his place in bed and starts to throw his blankets off to approach you, but you hold your hand up and he stills. Offering another sniffle, you rise from your chair, sitting on the edge of his hospital bed. He looks at you, expectantly, and you, begrudgingly, reach out a hand. You weren’t expecting to forgive him so quickly. 

“Can you look at me? Please?” 

“Not right now.” 

“Angel, please.” Mingyu takes your hand, trying to tug you closer to him. “Look at me. I just... you’re doin’ that thing again, where you let me bare my soul and then don’t really respond.” 

You shake your head, tears flying from your eyes and landing on the hospital blanket covering Mingyu’s legs. He scoffs, using his other hand to reach forward and tilt your chin up. Seeing you cry makes his heart split and shatter, and tears start to form in his own eyes. 

“I’m so fucking mad at you, Mingyu.” 

He bites his tongue to refrain from cracking a joke, as he normally would. Instead, he strokes the back of your hand with his thumb. “And I want to stick around, so that I can keep makin’ you mad.” 

“You promise?” You ask, searching his eyes for any hint of dishonesty. “You’re really done racing?” 

“I don’t break my promises. Not the ones that I make to you. I promise, I swear, that I’m done.”

+ + +

“Baby, it’s late. Can we just go to sleep? Please?” 

“I’m making room in your closet for my clothes, Gyu.” You scoff, pulling out another jacket. You glance over it before flipping it around, showing it to your boyfriend. “Do you wear this?” 

He furrows his brows, thinking it over before dismissing you with a wave. “Not really.” 

“Okay.” You toss the jacket into the box you’d designated for donating, dropping the hanger on the closet floor. Mingyu yawns loudly, stretching out in the middle of his bed. You know what he’s doing; he’s trying to entice you into joining him. He wants to persuade you to stop doing the task that he’d already put off for weeks in favor of crawling into his lap, maybe going to sleep or maybe not. Still, you’re not ready to quit yet. You pull out another jacket and repeat your actions, holding it in front of you for Mingyu to inspect it. 

“Donate.” 

You nod, silently agreeing with his decision. You reach back into the closet, reaching for the next jacket to pull out, but your fingers freeze when you realize what you’re touching. You pull out the leather jacket slowly – Mingyu's racing jacket. It’s the one that he was wearing the first time that you kissed him, and the second time. He wore it for your first date, claiming that it was ‘good luck,’ and he even wore it that one time that you let him fuck you against the hood of his racecar. You hold your breath as you turn around, and Mingyu’s expression darkens when he realizes what you’re holding. 

He doesn’t know how to play this. It’s been months since his accident, which means it’s been months since he quit racing. He misses it sometimes, but you’re more important to him. He lets each day drag on so long as they promise, that at sundown, he’ll be able to come back to his apartment and you’ll be waiting, smiling, happy, healthy. That jacket means a lot to him. 

“Donate.” 

You mean more to him. 

“Aw, really?” You whine, looking back down at the jacket. Mingyu scoffs and pushes himself further up on the bed, watching closely as you run your fingertips along the leather. “You looked so good when you used to wear this. I think my mouth was watering the first time we met.” 

“Fuck off.” Mingyu laughs, waving you away again. “You keep it then, angel. I looked good in the jacket because I’m good looking. Please don’t attribute my good looks to my jackets.” 

You put the jacket back into the closet regardless, finally shuffling across the room to the bed. You sigh as you let yourself fall onto the mattress, groaning as Mingyu rolls you onto your stomach and then tugs you closer to him. You let him do all the work, only shifting once he’s positioned underneath you. You let one of your hands snake underneath his shirt, resting on his abdomen and applying pressure, just for good measure. 

“Do you miss it?” You whisper, cheek smushed against his cheek. 

“Sometimes.” Mingyu whispers back, tracing shapes against your back. “I think it suited me. I was good at makin’ split-second decisions, and it worked because the only person affected by those decisions was me. And then...” He trails off, considering his next words carefully. “Then I met the love of my life, and they tried so hard to hate me and push me a—hey!” 

He whines as you pinch him, prying your hand off him. He tsks at you, shaking his head before continuing his story. “As I was saying, the love of my life wanted to push me away ‘cause they didn’t want to be attached to someone with so little regard for their own life. And I couldn’t blame them, y’know? I wasn’t happy about it, though, so I kept tryin’ and, somehow, it worked.” 

“I already know the story, Gyu.” You grumble. Still, you’ll never get tired of hearing him refer to you as the love of his life. You still have no idea how he knew, from that very first moment, that it had to be you, though. “I love you too. I don’t think I say it enough.” 

“I didn’t want this to become sappy.” He sneers, pinching your cheek. “I was actually hopin’ that you’d ride my face.” 

“I’m tired.” You yawn, replacing your hand on his chest, over his shirt, and rubbing up and down along his abdomen. “I could give you a hand job, though.” 

“Don’t want that.” Mingyu groans. 

You lift your eyebrows in surprise. Your boyfriend, turning down a hand job? You lift your hand up and press the back of it against his forehead. “You don’t have a fever, though.” 

“You’re annoying.” He scowls. “You just told me that you don’t want me to eat you out, and I’m not makin’ a big deal of it.” 

You let your hand drop from Mingyu’s forehead, tracing your fingertips along his jaw. “If we’re both tired, we can just fuck in the morning.” 

“We don’t fuck in the morning.” You offer him a quizzical look. He wraps both of his arms around you, squeezing you and rolling both of you until you’re on your back and his cheek is pressed against your stomach. “In the morning, we make love.” 

“Didn’t you call me a slut the last time that we made love?” 

He lifts his head up, narrowing his eyes at you. “You liked it.” 

“Yeah, I did.” You sigh, easing your fingers through Mingyu’s hair and forcing his head back down, onto your stomach. “Where do you think you’d be if we hadn’t met?” 

“Wildly unhappy.” He scoffs. “Dead. What about you?” 

You hum quietly, scratching against his scalp. “Probably... also unhappy. Well, I don’t think that I wasn’t happy before I met you, but I think, right now, I’m the happiest that I’ve ever been.” 

The two of you lapse into silence. The sounds of the neighborhood – dogs barking, cars honking – seep through every so often, but you hardly noticed, aware, instead, of your boyfriend’s presence. When you first met Mingyu, you knew that he would find a way to infiltrate your life, to become the oxygen that you needed to breathe. When you first met Mingyu, you felt like you were breathing and drowning at the same time. Nowadays, you don’t feel like you’re drowning, but you aren’t breathing normally, either. It’s the same for him, you’re sure; it’s all about him, even when it isn’t. You could be focused on something else, but you’ll never be able to fully attend to anything else. 

It’s for this reason that you’ve had to scold him, on so many occasions, to keep his eyes on the road when driving. He just can’t seem to focus on anything but you, and somehow, his recklessness has worn off and you find yourself in the same predicament. 

Just as you finally shut your eyes, you feel Mingyu twitching against you. 

He’s laughing. “It’s a good thing that you decided to fuck with a racer, huh?”

[ssivinee]

✧In Control✧

Jam Republic! Kirsten Dodgen x Idol! F Reader: You were the famous soloist, Han Y/n, and held a complex reputation for yourself, but that doesn't stop Mnet from inviting you as a guest judge on Street Woman Fighter 2. You didn't know much about the foreign dancers, but this one caught your eye.

Word Count: 4.8k

Note: I toooootally didn't struggle while writing this🥲

Character Vision Board

Being in the limelight was always familiar territory to you. It was something you were always bound by due to your sister being one of the most notable actresses in the acting industry today. Your older sister, Han Sohee, had always been popular with everyone. Her authoritative and sophisticated qualities had everyone on their knees, adoring her existence. With releases like “My Name” and “Nevertheless” on Netflix, your sister has been recognized for her talents worldwide. You couldn’t have been more proud of your sister's mind-blowing career, always supporting it in any manner.

You, on the other hand, had your fame in the music field. The Han Y/n began as a soloist under Pnation and had a significant fanbase, mainly consisting of Sohee’s fangirls. Nevertheless, when you started releasing music, your career exploded with the sound of R&B you delivered. The public idolized your image, often calling you the “Predebut Han Sohee.” You had tattoos and piercings, had an extended wolf cut, loved partying, and had the tomboy style. It had the male public hating you and their girlfriends wanting you. Through your career with Pnation, you gained many friends who were also soloists in the industry, B.I. being one of them. During his time with YG, you always went to their concerts, ensuring your best friend knew you’d be right by his side no matter what.

If people didn’t believe in your bond before, the union was proven when you made an unexpected move. When B.I. left YG and decided to create the 131 Label, you quickly joined the company and collaborated with the fellow soloist. BTBT was a hit, not only in popularity, but the song was undeniably a banger, and you were honored to even be featured in it, even making an appearance in the music video. 

But fame wasn’t always going to be in your favor. As an avid party girl, you fell into a hole of rumors and lies. You were in a scandal after almost every event, especially with female idols. So here you were again, with Hanbin and Sohee in your apartment, reading the statement your company had released, denying the accusations again. This time, it was with Blackpink’s Rose, as the public had seen you coming out of dinner together in Paris.

“I just can’t be friends with anyone nowadays.” You scoff, forehead in hand, and hear both chuckling at your issue. “You can’t blame the public, Y/n. Everyone is just in love with you,” your sister points out, and you roll your eyes. “Says you, unnie.”

“You should be used to this by now, noona,” Hanbin tells you with shrugging shoulders, and you can’t help but laugh. “I am, though! It seems like the public is the one who isn’t.” You were aware of your impression on the public, but it irritated you when they acted this way. But that was just part of your job, telling yourself that every single time a scandal happened. “Disregarding that for now, aren’t you excited about next week?” Hanbin asks you, and Sohee looks at him confusingly. 

“I’m the guest judge for Street Woman Fighter,” you say in a calm timbre, and your sister’s eyes widen. “You gonna meet Jam Republic, Bebe, and Tsubakill?” You look shocked at your sister. “You knew who was on the show yet had no idea I’d be guesting next week?” Your teasing tone made your sister smack your arm, “I only saw clips, okay? But I’m excited for you!” She gets jumpy in her chair while Hanbin laughs at you, a face holding disgust as you watch your sister. “She can’t even be happy. She knows nothing about the international crews,” Hanbin points at you accusingly, and you just shake your head. “I can’t help it, okay? I only know 1Million because of Lia unnie.”

As the two of them argue with you and introduce the other crews to you, a set of girls were squealing in their hotel in another part of Seoul. The two youngest of Jam Republic watched on an iPad, and the three oldest sat there, watching them in slight worry. “Are they okay?” Ling whispers to the two, and Latrice laughs, “They’ve been obsessed with Han Y/n since they found out she’d be the next guest judge.” 

“Han Y/n?” Kristen asks confusingly. Ling and Latirce can’t hold back the distress on their faces, “Yes, Kirs, THE Han Y/n.” Kristen shrugs at their words, “I don’t know her.” That’s when the two youngest hear this and let out a blaring gasp. “Girl, you have to listen to her music,” Audrey says, shoving her phone in the leader’s face. Kristen listened and was pleased to hear everything presented to her.

“Dude, she’s smoking hot, man,” Emma voices, and she relaxes more on the couch, thinking of seeing your face. Ling rolls her eyes at her, and Latrice smiles, finding Emma’s rare fangirling cute. 

This intrigues Kirsten. Emma wouldn’t openly share things like that but had no hesitation regarding you. 

Before the day came to the first start of the Kpop mission, Kirsten found herself having your songs on repeat, dancing to them when she had the time. Her crew observed her, loving her newfound liking for you. Well, not you specifically. The woman still had no idea about what you looked like, only ravishing over your music.

“She gonna be so surprised tomorrow,” Ling tells the group as they watch their leader dance in the studio, and everyone nods. “Agreed.”

Finally, it was time for your appearance on the show, and you made sure to be prepared for the first impressions you were about to have on most of the girls.

The ride there was quite eventful, though. Friends were blowing up your phone in anticipation of your presence on the show. So when you make your way into the building, you send a selfie to the group chat, showing the building's lobby. Everyone fans over the sight and asks you to take pictures with specific crews, and you laugh at their texts. 

You go backstage and see the guest room that was prepared for you. As you sat in a chair, the team touched up your hair and makeup. “Oh Y/n-nim!” You hear and see Monika coming from the door. “Monika-saem! It’s nice to see you again,” she greets you with a side hug. “Are you ready for this?”

“I can’t deny I’m a little nervous,” you tell her as you anxiously move around in the chair. “You? Nervous? Never thought I’d hear that from you,” she jokes while patting your back. “I’m not known to be a dancer like that! I’m just worried about the public's opinion.” She then looks you dead in the eyes, “You know well that you shouldn’t be worried. The people will always love you, Y/n-ah. Besides, everyone knows you’re a talented dancer.”

“Thank you, unnie.” She nods at your appreciation and smiles. “Have you met Shownu yet?” You shake, “I met him during the Hero promotions a few years ago.” The male idol walks in as if right on queue, with 3 caramel iced coffees in his hand. “I heard my name?”

“Of course you did. With your sonic hearing,” you say, making the two judges laugh. He hands you the coffee, and you thank him. “Dude, you’re gonna be so hyped when you see them all dance.” Your brow raises at his statement, “Now you're raising my expectations too high. They might blame you if I’m too harsh on them.”

“You can’t even be too harsh. They’re all professionals. I'm sure they’ll be to your standards.” Monika points out, and Shownu nods. Everyone starts getting ready, and when it's time to announce you, you hear Daniels' voice ringing in your ears. “Today, as your guest judge for the Kpop mission, we have Korean-American solo artist Han Y/n.”

You walk out onto the stage's walkway, bowing at everyone as you walk to your seat. Emma and Audrey could be seen jumping up and down, hugging each other when seeing you in person. Ling and Latrice, on the other hand, felt a sense of comfort when they heard that you're also American. They blindly trusted you, hoping you wouldn’t be so biased amongst the Korean crews.

Kirsten was the only one who stood in that room, frozen, when you walked in. She knew to predict someone attractive since the girls fangirled over your face for the entire week, but she wasn't expecting this. You looked like you were built by the gods. All she wanted to do was get on her knees and thank them.

“Wah~ Everyone’s right when they say she's every girl's type.” 1Million Redy says in awe of you.

“She’s so pretty, what the heck?”

“You think I can get a picture after?”

All the crews cheered and gossiped at your appearance, admiring your appearance.

“Hello, I’m soloist Han Y/n. Please take care of me,” you bow and introduce yourself in Korean, English, and Japanese to the teams. “I’d love to take care of you,” Kirsten mumbles under her breath, but Latrice hears the words, giggling at the sight of her leader, who looked like she was about to drool because of you. “Kirs, pull yourself together.”

“I can’t help it, like are we looking at the same person?” Kirsten dramatically sighed, and the girls teased. “Maybe you should ask her for help later~.”

“I’m sure she’d be happy to help you,” Ling gazes at her leader with a wink. “Alright, please pay attention and stop bullying me,” they all laugh, and your eyes find their way to the sound. “The Kpop mission has everyone fighting against each other with songs under the 4 companies: HYBE, JYP, SM, and YG.”

You relax in the chair, manspreading a little as Daniel continues, “2 of the 4 companies have a three-way tie and will battle it out here in the fight zone. The crew with the most votes will have to choose a different company to work with.” You nod in understanding. As much as Kirsten would like to say she was listening, she watched your loosened stance on the chair. You looked so fine just sitting there, and Kirsten bit her lips at the sight of you. She was a sucker for piercings and tattoos, which you did have, but her eyes lingered on your arms. Your veins could be seen popping out as they rested comfortably on your chest, and your lap looked like the perfect seat for her. “We’ll start off today with HYBE. Jam Republic, you're up first,” Daniel announces, pulling Kristen out of her unholy thoughts.

The girls get up from their seats, stretching more, “Should we just go for it?” She asks her team, and everyone nods, “Yeah, let's go.”

The girls stood before the judges as some other crews stayed beside them to enjoy the front view. Your eyes travel from every girl on the team until you stop at the leader. “Kirsten Dodgen, huh?” You whisper, remembering everything Hanbin and Sohee told you about the girl. How she was the famous “green shirt girl” in Justin Beiber’s “Sorry” music video and how she was part of the mega crew, the Royal Family. With this information in mind, your eyes never left hers as they performed.

When holding the starting pose, Kirsten feels the weight of your gaze, feeling her hands gradually sweat. The music begins with Le Seraphim's track starting them off,  and regardless of how nervous you make the girl, she shows you every cent of confidence she has. Her hips moved swiftly like water, and you can’t help but bite your lip at the sight. She could really move, you admit to yourself. The afro-dance was evident in how she carried herself, the rhythm similar to the choreography of BTBT, which led to your body feeling uncontrollable. Swaying to the way they moved.

“Well, we know who Y/n would’ve voted for,” Mina Myoung quips as all the crews watch you enjoy their performance. “Dope” by BTS begins to blare on the speakers, and their groove switches to Hip-Hop. Audrey put a smile on your face with her facial expressions and nearing the end, when the finale consisted of the little twist their waist did with an added reverb effect, you toss your hands up with a clap, “That was nasty,” you told Shownu who nods in agreement. 

Mannequeen then took the stage, and once again, everyone had high energy as they watched. The same could be said for DeepNDap. Still, once people saw the votes, everyone felt the intensity of the room when seeing DeepNDap lost by a landslide compared to the two other crews. “That’s gotta burn,” you mumble.

Next was the JYP battle, and Tsubakill went first. Your attentiveness shows with the scary look in your eyes, but you get hyped up when Tsubakill uses their shirts as a prop, clapping at the scene. Then, Team Bebe joined the stage, and it was phenomenal. You shouldn’t have felt any anxiety or nervousness since you thoroughly enjoyed each performance, especially when Bada is revealed through the imitation of double doors. You smirk at the sight, finding it quite enticing to look at. 

“Another heart stealer, huh?” You tell Shownu, who chuckles at your words. While you watch, Kirsten notices the look you give team Bebe. “Looks like someone likes team Bebe as well,” and the team looks at you. “I don’t blame her,” Audrey shrugs, and Emma laughs, “Everyone’s in love with Bada as well. They’re like a match made in heaven.”

Kirsten's chest tightens at her members' words. You surely weren't interested in the taller dancer...right?

“Kirs? You good?” Latrice asks, and she nods, not wanting to expose herself, but Emma catches on quickly. “I think Kirs may have a slight problem,” the second youngest teases the leader, and the younger girl points at Bada. “She may have some competition.” Kirsten rolls her eyes at the girls as they snicker around her. Because of their noises, your attention goes to them. You see the frustration on the girl's face, and it makes you smile. She looked so adorable with a pout on her face. This causes you to barely watch the 1Million stage.

“I hope whatever song we get, we’ll do good.”

“We’re always good guys. As long as we try our best, that’s all that matters.” You hear from the dancer and nod to yourself, her words also resonating with you. When the votes came in, Tsubakill had zero votes, and you gasped. Everyone must’ve really liked the dance if they had no votes. So when each group is presented with their company of choice, everyone begins practicing.

You began walking around, handing bottles to each team and chatting with them. Your first few stops were DeepNDap, Lady Bounce, Mannequeen, and Wolf’Lo, and then you make it to the trendiest crew on the show.

“Hello~,” you said, bowing to the girls of team Bebe. They all look at you with terrified eyes. You chuckle at this, “Here, I don’t bite,” you tell them as you hand the water bottles, everyone thanking you. “You didn’t have to, Y/n-nim,” the blonde, Tatter, says, but you shake your head. “It’s the least I can do for you guys.”

You straighten your shirt and ask, “Do you guys have anything yet?” “Yeah, we have a bit for the chorus,” Bada says, and you settle in the dance studio a bit more, sitting on the floor in front of them. “Can I get a sneak peek?” They all nod excitedly, and you hide a giggle, finding the younger girls cute. They play Maniac by Stray Kids from the chorus, and your smile grows when you see the blonde being dragged with her team walking, almost like robots, beside her. When finished presenting, you stand up, clapping your hands. “I can’t wait to see the final product, girls.” They bow, most covering their face in happiness. “You're leading your team well. I can tell your chemistry is strong,” you say as you pat Bada’s arms. “Thank you, Y/n,” she smiles, and you head out. “Okay, good luck, guys! I’m gonna bring more water for the other teams.”

Then your next stop is 1Million, and you enter their rehearsal room with a cheesing grin. “Lia-unnie~,” you say, walking towards her to hug her. You had worked with Lia in a previous comeback and were close friends with her. She made the entire process enjoyable for you. You always kept that in mind since it was stressful, and you appreciated her guidance. “Y/n-ah,” she says softly, reciprocating the loving hug. “I brought all you guys water,” you tell them, showing the bag filled with bottles.

They thank you, and you watch them practice a little, and you can tell Lia is stressed the entire time. So once they took a break, you approached her, giving her a piece of candy. “Here, don’t be too hard on yourself, unnie,” you say, patting the older’s shoulder. “I can’t help it, Y/n. Everyone has high expectations for me here.” You nod, understanding the pressure she felt. “That doesn’t matter. You’re one of the greatest choreographers out there. I’m sure you’ll make it past this unnie,” you try and reassure her, and she tells you to get going so they can practice. You mumble fine and move along to your next destination.

Tsubakill. The girls were so concentrated on practicing they didn’t even notice your arrival in their room. “Hello?” You question in Japanese, and they jump in surprise. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you all,” you chuckle at their reactions.

“I’m here to just deliver some water, and I’ll be out of your way,” they gratefully accepted the water bottles but were curious. “Your Japanese is really good. Where did you learn?” Their youngest, Rena, questions you.

“Aye~ I’m not that good. But I wanted to learn for my Japanese fans to communicate with them when promoting.” A series of ‘ah’s could be heard. “That does make sense.”

“Anyways, I don’t think you guys need any of my feedback right now, so I’ll leave you all to it,” you wave off and end with the final team you were anticipating. You searched for them in every room but finally found them practicing on the walkway area on the second floor. 

Your eyes linger on the team, not wanting to distract them while they do a draft take of their dance. That's when your gaze lands on Kirsten as she leads her team, “So when we do this swing part, I want both of you to kind of mimic the movement,” she tells Ling and Latrice, who automatically follow her lead, taking the critiques into account.

“Hey,” you voice out, and everyone stares at you, not knowing what to say. “Um… I brought you guys some water,” you say in English, and they smile. “Thanks,” Kirsten tells you, and you give a curt nod, “It’s no problem.”

“You guys are insane, by the way,” you say as you tilt your head to the side. “I hope you guys don’t mind if I watch your practice for a bit.”

“Of course not, by all means. Just try and get comfortable,” she gives you a wink with a teasing grin, and your head falls back due to her gesture. This girl was gonna be trouble for you. You travel to a chair in the corner and watch as the practice goes on, eyes never leaving Kirsten's figure.

Your head spins at how she moves, finding her body rousing to witness. That was until they made it to the next series of parts. Kirsten had to shake her hips, but somehow, it wasn’t up to the quality of your liking. You raise your hand, and the crew notices, “Yes, Y/n?” “Sorry, but when you move your hips, you can exaggerate more.”

“Can you show us what you mean?” Latrice presses on, and you make your way over to Kirsten. You towered behind their leader, and your hands traveled down her hips. Position her into the move and put pressure on your hands as you take control of her lower half. Kirsten’s mind was out of focus when she felt your strong, veiny hands touching her. “I know you can move those hips, girl, so how about we put them to work?” You question in her ear, and she has a devious grin. “Show me then.”

Her team watches as you rotate her hips with the touch of your hands, and they can’t help but giggle on the sidelines. “She took asking for help way too seriously,” Audrey whispers, and the rest nod with their fits of giggles.

You two feel a rhythm despite no music, and Kirsten’s heart fastens as you caress her waist. “Shit, you- you are so beautiful,” you mumble but make sure she heard it, and her face reddened. She shakes her head, straightens, and claps at her team, “Alright, thank you, Y/n, but we have to do some more choreo to be in top shape in 2 days.” You stand there a bit surprised, which follows a soft laugh at her crappy excuse. “Okay, okay. I’ll just watch a bit more.” You sat back in your chair, watching them more freely this time as they did their work.

After an hour, you look at the phone and decide it is an excellent time to head home, but talk to the girls before leaving. “Are you guys free tomorrow?” “I believe so, why?” Kirsten asks, and you hand your phone over to her, “I thought it would be a good idea to bring all the crews out for a relaxing night. I was gonna rent out the VIP section of a club before you guys performed.”

The girls all jump in excitement while Audrey sulks, and you pat her head, “I know you're too young, Audrey, but I’ll plan a dinner with everyone just for you.” Her eyes brighten at your promise as she hugs you. “Okay, don’t kill the woman now, Audrey,” Ling tells the youngest, and everyone laughs. Kristen puts her number in, and you grin, “Okay, good luck with practice, girls. I’ll chat with you later, Kristen,” you point at her, and she waves you off seductively. 

“Kirs is down bad right now.”

“Stand up, girl,” Emma jokes, and the leader rolls her eyes at the team.

The next day, every girl was preparing for the long night ahead, and Audrey watched her team as they frantically ran around their hotel room. “You guys look good in anything,” the youngest says, but everyone pays no mind. “This is what I get for trying to be nice,” she mumbles, but Emma hears it and laughs. “They stressed Auds. What can we do,” Emma says with a shrug.

After an hour, all the girls were ready, and Kirsten revealed her outfit. She had a pleated denim skirt, a pale yellow halter top, and white mini-heels. The leader's hair looked slightly slicked back, and it tied everything together. “Ooo~, who are you about to show out for?” Ling taunts and Kirs has a light smirk on her face, “You already know, girl.”

The girls squeal in eagerness, “So we ready to go?” The older three nod and Audrey walks them out, “Be safe, and don’t come home too late.”  The older girls hug her goodbye and travel to the club by Uber. You had sent the leader the details, and she was incredibly excited when you said, “I can’t wait to see you there, beautiful.” It caused her so much happiness the entire day that she couldn’t sit still. 

Once the four entered the club, they were escorted to the VIP area on the second floor, overlooking the crowds who cheered for Y/n and the other crews. You sat at the bar, Lia and Bada by your side, with a dark-colored drink in hand. Kristen halts when she sees you. Your attendance wakes her up as she notices every detail about you.

Kirsten wanted to tell you how delicious you looked, but just for the sake of her pride, she greets the other girls instead before getting to you. Bada points at the foreign crew, making you look at them, and a coy grin forms on your face. The Jam Republic crew began to split up, talking to multiple other teams, and you made your way over to Kristen, who sat with some of the Mannequeen girls.

“I’m glad you could make it,” you say, handing her a drink of soju, as you weren’t really familiar with her type of alcohol. She thanks you and sips the beverage, “I’d never say no to a party and having fun.”

“I don’t either, but I was kinda excited for this one,” You voiced in a playful tone, and Kirsten smirked, deciding to play along. “Oh yeah? Why is that?” Your body bends down to her ear, and she feels your breath tickling her as you breathe out, “It means I get to see you more.”

The shorter girl’s breathing becomes unsteady at the close distance. Still, Kirsten's exact flirtatious nature wouldn’t make that obvious. You take her hand and lead her to the bar, “Is there something you prefer to drink?” “Coke and rum would be nice,” and your eyebrows go up at this. “My type of girl,” You tell her calmly, ordering the drink as a blush forms on her cheeks. “So, the green shirt girl in Justin Bieber’s music video?” Kristen lets out a burst of laughter at your random question.

“You went viral all those years ago, and I never knew who you were? I’m so out of touch with internet culture,” you shared, your head hanging low with a chuckle. “It’s fine. I was also seventeen then, so you probably wouldn’t even recognize me.”

“SEVENTEEN?” You inquisitively ask, and she nods. “Well, you grew up into a fine young woman, if I say so myself,” you tell her as you take a swig of alcohol. “You say that as if you’re much older than me,” Kirsten looks at you with a questioning face. “Hey, 3 years is quite some time, okay?” You point out, both of you letting out a laugh. 

“How about you? I don’t know how you got into dancing,” She says truthfully, and you think. “It hasn’t been that long since I started. Compared to you guys, I’m pretty mediocre at best.” Now, that statement, Kirsten knew, was a lie. “That’s definitely not true,” She says, and you look at her curiously. “How would you know?”

“Or else you wouldn’t have been a judge on the show,” She explains. The truth was, she had watched some of your dancing videos throughout the years, but why would she want to expose herself in front of you. “That’s true, I guess.” You were about to continue, but another song started, and the whole club cheered. Kirsten’s eyes brightened at the song, and she pulled you to the dance floor, “Come on, let’s dance!” She says, trying to yell over the loud music.

Once the two of you were on the dance floor, you felt the mixture of sweaty bodies and the wafting scent of alcohol that clung to everyone’s bodies. That didn’t matter to either of you, though, as Kirsten confidently whines her waist to the beat. Your eyes study her with hunger, finding every curve of her body moving to the rhythm. Your self-control defeats you as you grasp her waist, and Kristen feels the warmth of your hands. She moves back, grinding her ass on your body, and you wrap one arm around her waist as you motion in sync. The shorter applies more pressure on your pelvis, and you can’t help but let out a subtle groan in her ear, finding her irresistible. The halter top didn’t cover much, and you wanted to touch every part you could, skimming over her chest as if her skin begged to be marked.

She turns around, arms wrapping around your neck, closing the distance between you two, if possible. Now you felt her chest beating on yours, your forehead resting on each other. Her eyes linger on your lips, and you notice, when bitting your lips, that she lets out giggles of expectation. You adored the charming sounds, and your lips chased hers, and you felt the buzz of her lips on yours. The taste of sweetness from the alcohol lingered on her tongue as they mingled harmoniously. Hearing the soft whimpers encourages you to pull her waist tighter, hand leading lower and lower on her body. You pull away, trying to catch your breath as you mumble to her, “You think you’ll be able to dance if I take you home tonight?” 

“I’ll make it work,” She mumbles, pulling you in again. The kiss felt heated as her hands roam around your toned figure, “Besides, I told you I want to have fun tonight.” You smirk at her words and pull her out of the club, ensuring you made it worth her while tonight.

Tag list (OPEN): @gaymoregayandgayer @froufrousnowman @yxine @tikitsune @kpopgirl-97 @hellokittyyysstuff

[bambikisss]

Kiss me thru the phone: S.Coups

Pairing: Staff!Reader x Idol!SeungCheol

Summary: With how busy Seung Cheol is with the tour, it doesn't give him enough time to sneak off with his favorite stylist. So, he tries to make the best of it leading up to his one day off with you in Paris.

Warnings: unprotected sex (wrap it, people), Phone sex, descriptions of mutual masturbation, semi-public sex, biting, mentions of past recordings of sex, slight spit, use of nicknames (baby, princess, love),

Song recommendation: Kiss Me Thru the Phone by Soulja Boy, BTBT by B.I, Devita

Kiss me through the phone (kiss me through the phone) See you when I get home

A/N: According to the poll, S.Coups won, so he is next! Let me know in the comments which smut do you think I favored lol. Also yes, your best friend/Stylist partner is named Cherry, I thought it was cute lol.

Not Proofread

TAGLIST: @oceansletters @24p0t @smol-ggukie @appt2235

@christinewithluv @shuabby1994 @chanpvlento @marianamartinsthings @safsaf1980

Cherry: All stylists please report to standby

You sighed at the message before jogging to standby, watching as the other stylists got ready for the quick change that was about to happen. As much as you loved tours and the energy everyone had at concerts, it always heightened your anxiety.

"Here they come, everyone! 2 minutes!"

The boys quickly ran down the steps to their assigned stylists, breathing heavily as the last song was one with high energy. You quickly handed the passing boys water before handing one to Seungcheol, who was assigned to you and Cherry. He thanked you as you patted his face, working on fixing his makeup and hair while Cherry helped him change into his new set of clothes.

As you leaned closer to his face to fix his hair, he glanced over at you, shooting you a sly wink before stepping back to put on his new shoes. You had to look away so no one could see your smile, returning to face him with a focused face. Seungcheol often shot you secret winks whenever he could, wanting no one else to see them besides you as they were only for you, his girlfriend.

That's right, you were in a secret relationship with Seungcheol, A.K.A S.Coups of Seventeen.

You at first rejected the idea of dating the leader; your company wasn't fond of the idea of staff dating their idols and whenever it did happen, the staff were always harshly punished, as the company believed that they were "purposely distracting the idol from the duties." You found the whole thing bullshit- they couldn't control who fell in love.

But, after being around him for almost 3 years, you both began to fall and fall fast. You tried to change to a different member to avoid your feelings, but that only made him jealous and drove him to drive to your house in the middle of the night and confess to you. That was a year ago, and now you both were exchanging secret smiles and touches whenever you could.

"Please try to avoid getting wet, Cheol. I ran out of water proof foundation." You finished fixing his hair as he fixed the buttons on his black jacket, pausing when he tilted his head back to meet your eyes with a small smirk and a glint in his eyes. "But it'll give me more of a reason to sneak back here and see you." He left before you could respond, calling for his members to head to the lift. You couldn't help but roll your eyes before placing your items back into your holster, sitting back down on some boxes to try and enjoy the rest of the show.

"You know he's not going to listen to you, right?" You nodded at Cherry, crossing your arms as the next song started. He never listened to you, taking every opportunity he could within reason to see you. It sometimes both aggravated you and warmed your heart.

The rest of the show went off without a hitch, allowing you to now relax as the last song came on. You snuck off to your dressing room to start packing up your things, wanting nothing more than to head back to your hotel room early and sleep. "Running away?" You paused as Seungcheol snuck into your room, a smile on his face as he carefully locked the door. You raised your eyebrow as he carefully wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, humming about how much he missed you. You gently pressed your hands against his chest so you could look up at him, meeting his face with a small pout, which he kissed.

"Didn't I tell you to not get wet? I can tell you did," he chuckled as your hand gently cupped his face, leaning into your touch as he gently apologized. "Mingyu and WonWoo were actively trying to, despite my words."

"I'll make sure to give them a harsh scolding when I see them next, then." He nodded before leaning down to kiss you, obviously more concerned with kissing you than listening to how you planned on disciplining his members. If anything, he would take care of that for you, but, that wasn't important right now. He gently bit your bottom lip as he walked the two of you backward, stopping when your legs hit the counter, his hands then moving to place you onto the counter. He hummed against your lips as your hands moved underneath his shirt, smiling softly against his lips at the feelings of his warm chest and abs. No matter how many times you were intimate with him, you could never get over the feeling of him; whether in you or just like this.

"Cheol, no marks- remember where we are, baby," you sighed as his lips moved to your neck, pressing kisses to the open skin as his hands moved under your own shirt, moaning at the feeling of your skin. "I know, baby, I won't leave anything anywhere anyone else could see it." His tongue moved out to touch your neck, licking a stripe up to your jaw before biting it, leaving a faint mark. You closed your eyes as he tugged up your shirt, tossing it onto the floor as his fingers moved to unclip your bra as his lips met yours in a heated kiss.

"You look so pretty, baby, whimpering and whispering my name like a good girl." you nodded at his words, opening your eyes to meet him when he let out a soft chuckle. "I feel like you aren't paying attention to me, baby. I could say anything to you while you feel good and you'd just agree with me," he snickered, tossing your bra onto the floor as his face dipped down to leave marks along your chest, his lips leaving plush kisses against your skin. "No, I would n- fuck."

Your words were left into thin air as one of his thighs made contact with your covered pussy, giving you some sort of friction while his lips wrapped around your nipple, busying himself with your body while your hips moved to grind against the thigh. Your hands moved to grip your shoulders as you let out soft moans, licking your lips as he switched breasts, looking up at you with a small smirk at your ministrations. He couldn't help but moan when you dug your nails into his shoulder, trying to hold onto him tightly so you could earn more friction. If there's anything you do that drives him crazy, digging your nails into him is one of them.

He chuckled as your movements grew frantic, his voice now deep as he leaned over close to your ear, praising you as you felt your knot begin to tighten. His hands gripped your hips as you moved faster, his eyes now glued to your moving breasts. It felt like he was in complete heaven, wanting nothing more than to push you to the point of complete pleasure. "Come on, Y/N baby, give it to me, that's it." He pulled his lips from you as he watched your face contort into complete pleasure, watching as you began to shake along his thighs, a settle wet spot coming into view from the thin fabric of your shorts. Seungcheol cursed softly as you rested your head against the cold mirror, enjoying the buzz that was filling your head, only coming back to when he began to carefully dress you. When you looked down to notice the tent in his pants, you asked him about it, he only chuckled and shook his head, making you pout. "Do you hear everyone rushing around out there, Y/N? I don't think I'll be able to keep us both quiet while I-"

"Ok, Ok, I get it." You carefully got off the counter as he laughed, wrapping his arms back around you to press a kiss to your head, just like he did when he first came in the room. He definitely wanted nothing more than to have you coming over and over again on his cock, but with the mass number of staff running around and with how loud you both tend to get, he couldn't risk it- heck, he was risking it being in your dressing room this long. The last thing he wanted was rumors to start and for the company to come after you.

You must've had the same thoughts as him as you pulled back from his warm embrace, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips before gently telling him that he had to go. He sighed before nodding, a slight pout on his lips as he made his way to the door, turning back around to shoot you a quick wink and a kiss before slipping into the empty hallway, leaving you alone in your dressing room with the only reminder of him being your soaked underwear and shorts.

You made sure to check your appearance and make sure that you look sensible before joining everyone near the cars, your yearning for sleep once again returning.

~_______

"Yes, yes, I'll be awake in time for the meeting, don't worry Cherry. Sleep well, talk to you afterwards."

You rubbed your eyes as you placed your phone down onto the nightstand, sighing as your body relaxed into the cloud like mattress. The company would sometimes hold separate meetings for each individual member with their specific team if they had an event coming up, which was the case for you and Seungcheol tomorrow; and while you loved Cherry with all of your heart, you were still a bit upset that she was going to make you go into the meeting as the only sole stylist. While you had been in your position for a very long time, there was something about meeting with everyone, including Seungcheol that made you especially nervous. Now with the added secret of your relationship, you knew you'd be a bundle of nerves, so you needed to get lots of rest.

As you turned over to turn off your lamp, you noticed your phone buzzing, showing tomorrow's man of the hour calling you.

"Yes, Cheol?" You returned your head back to your pillow as you listened to the subtle sound of his sheets rustling, his voice soft as he asked you how you were doing. You couldn't help but raise an eyebrow as you glanced at the clock, noting how late it was, even for him.

"You care about how I'm doing at midnight?" your coy laced voice made him bite his lip, shuffling once more in his silk hotel bed sheets before he cleared his throat. He knew he was caught. "I just wanted to know how you were before I asked for a favor, that's all."

At your silence, he took it as a sign to let you know what said favor was. "I miss you, Y/N."

"I miss you too-" your words paused in your throat at the subtle moan that slipped through his lips, moving straight to your core, the familiar sound making you cross your legs. While your body reacted, your mind immediately put two and two together, asking him if he was serious. "I thought I could take care of it when I got back to my hotel room or it would just go away but," he hissed as his thumb moved along his now leaking tip, collecting his precum to use as lube as he continued to move his hand along his length. "I need you, Y/N. Can you come to my room, even just for a little bit?"

You bit your lip as you sat up, weighing your options as your listened to his moans, wishing you were there to actually hear them in person. Your body almost leaped out of bed to rush to his room, but your mind cleared up before you could. Your coworkers were spread out all over the hotel, so it would be a problem if they caught you sneaking out to head to a different room at this hour, especially Seungcheol's. "I can't, Cheol, it's too risky."

"Fuck, then talk to me like this, Babygirl. Talk to me while I fucking jerk off to the thought of your body." You rested your body once again back against the bed as one of your hands immediately moved to slip into your underwear, a soft mewl coming from you as you felt how wet you were. At your moan, he couldn't help but release his own, his hand picking up speed. "Tell me how wet it is, baby. Tell me how much that pretty pussy is soaking at the sound of me getting off right now."

"It's so wet for you, Cheol, fuck," you let your eyes roll back as you pushed a finger into you, clenching around the muscle as you began to pump your finger the same pace as him; imagining him standing over you shirtless, his fingers pumping into you, stretching you out before you got to have his cock. One of his rules was that he would always prep you for him, not wanting to hurt you with his size.

"Add another finger for me, Y/N. Keep imagining me being there, stretching that pretty pussy out, getting you ready to take my cock nice and deep." His voice had become much deeper as he approached his orgasm, tossing his head back as sweat began to build up as his hand sped up, moaning along with you as you whimpered his name. Seungcheol didn't care if his members heard him moaning next door, too focused on both of your approaching orgasm to care. His hand gripped his cock harder as your voice cracked, letting him know that you were about to cum, pumping himself faster to meet you. "Add just one more finger in there baby, curl it nice and good- I'm almost there, princess."

You did as instructed, your body arching as you came while you whimpered his name into the phone. He moved his hand faster at your whimpers before his own come coated his chest, his lips stifling his loud groan that wanted to escape due to the pleasure. He continued to pump himself until he was sure he was done, sighing before he thanked you, sitting up to grab his tissue to wipe off the mess. You did the same, cleaning yourself before returning to your bed.

"Are you going to the meeting tomorrow? It's apparently a big surprise," he asked, pouring himself a cup of water before sitting back down onto his bed. You nodded, explaining to him Cherry's situation. "Well, I don't mind being alone with you, of course. As long as I get to work with the prettiest stylist, then I'm alright." You could already imagine the smirk on his face, a small groan leaving your lips at his laugh. "Just remember that you'll have to keep all that flirty energy to yourself tomorrow."

He agreed as he took a sip of his water, noticing a text from his members complaining about hearing him jerk off. He chuckled before letting you know he had to go deal with his members, wishing you a goodnight before hanging up. You took a second to once again check the time before placing your phone back onto the stand, sighing as the cold sheets wrapped your body, slowly helping you fall asleep.

Tomorrow's meeting shouldn't be that bad.

~_____

"I need you to prepare about 50 outfits for a photoshoot in Paris by tonight. You fly out with Seungcheol tomorrow morning, so be prepared."

You couldn't help but freeze in your seat at the demand, your pen falling from your hand to hit your tablet. You had never heard of a single stylist being assigned such a large number of outfits with such little time before. You had to hold back your words as the manager continued on with the meeting, not even shooting you a second glance to make sure you were okay with the assignment. Your hand trembled from your growing annoyance as you picked up your pen, biting the inside of your cheek as a thick folder was slid over to you, labeling all of the concepts that were to be done throughout the photoshoot.

Before you could ask for clarification on one of the concepts, the manager cut you off as he asked certain team members to follow him for a different meeting, leaving you alone in the large meeting room he had rented with a flimsy folder and a bunch of random pictures. Your mind hadn't even registered the fact that you were traveling with Seungcheol, giving you a chance to finally be alone with him; your mind was more concerned with how you were going to piece together so many outfits with such little time. As you went through your day, you barely had enough time to check your phone, which Seungcheol understood. He did slip you half of his sandwich to scarf down while doing a fitting, but other than that, he hadn't seen you much. He tried to hide how worried he was about you, even becoming a bit snippy with his manager due to giving you such a large load of work, stressing you out. He also did ask WonWoo to try and convince Cherry to offer you some help, but she refused as he had her own assignment to worry about. It made him feel helpless; watching you rush around late into the night to prepare many clothes for him with no help.

Even at the airport, he watched as you lugged around the different suitcases, rushing over to help you when one of the paparazzi knocked one over. He shot you a gentle smile from underneath his mask before taking another suitcase from you, walking with you to baggage claim before boarding.

Once you did get to your seat, you sent him a thank you text, smiling as he sent you a selfie with the message "anything for you, baby. See you in Paris for a night you won't forget 😉"

You smiled at his text before falling asleep, knowing you needed to rest up before the rush that was to come.

The company had planned a large photoshoot around Paris as a specialty for Seungcheol's season's greetings package, which explain why you needed so many different clothes; there were cafe looks, regular boyfriend looks, etc. He looked good in anything you put him in, which you and the team were happy about. With every time you came over to fix his outfit, he would whisper something flirty or sweet, making sure no one was around when he did so. While other team members thought you were both were being friendly, you were retorting every flirty thing he would say. When you weren't fixing his outfit and gently hyping him up, you were enjoying the sights as you hadn't been to Paris. It made you smile, honestly- being in the city of love with the man you loved.

It almost felt perfect.

Once the shoot was over, you all went out for dinner, celebrating the successful shoot and looking over the pictures taken over food and drinks. After dinner, you went to the hotel you and the staff were all staying in, being the last one to check in.

"Ah, there is no room reserved for you, ma'am,' You raised an eyebrow at her words, asking the receptionist to check again before sighing when nothing came up. You could've sworn you made a reservation, but you guessed not. While you paced the lobby trying to figure out where you were going to sleep tonight, you also vented to Cherry.

Cherry 🍒: Okay, I got you a room :) Room 173-C, top floor, penthouse too! You can thank me later.

You sighed out of relief, taking your bags up to the elevator to the floor. You pressed your phone against the door to unlock it before walking in, pausing when you saw the room: it was decorated with roses and random gifts, a sweet scent filling your senses due to the many boxes of chocolate that was stacked along a gorgeous wine bottle. You thought you had entered the wrong room, about to turn around and leave when you saw Seungcheol come into view. His freshly done blonde hair was blown out and styled perfectly, his grey shirt tight against his body to show off his body while he also sported dark grey sweatpants. Even though he wore such a simple outfit, you could feel some heat rush through your body at the sight of him. He removed his hands from his sweatpants before he held out his arms, as if inviting you into his embrace. You took one more second to memorize how he looked before taking a few strides to meet him in a rough kiss, making him moan softly. The kiss was needy and loud as his hands moved around your body, obviously showing how much he missed you through his grabs and caresses.

"Hop baby," he gripped your thighs as you jumped into his arms, gripping at the tight shirt as he moved you both over to the bed, dropping your body down onto the bed as you bounced. His lips only moved from yours when you began to move up the large bed, kicking off you shoes as he sat at the edge of the bed, his eyes darkening. "You have no idea how much I missed this, baby, seeing you up on my bed, ready to take whatever I give you," he paused to reach behind him and take off his shirt, tossing it away to expose his body to you. It was obvious to you that he had been working out more often; his biceps were bigger and obviously stronger, making you wonder if he could really break you in half or throw you around.

He moved to his hands and knees before he began to carefully stalk up the bed, his eyes never leaving yours as he moved to hover over you. "Have I mentioned how much I love you, Y/N?" You couldn't help but giggle at his sudden love confession, rising your hips as he pulled down your bottoms and underwear. At your giggle his hands moved to pin open your legs, slowly using them as leverage he began to move into what looked like plank position before resting his stomach against the bed, giving you a great view of his back muscles while he moved your legs to wrap around his head.

"Do you remember the last time I had you like this, baby? Had a camera out recording the two of us, just like this- me about to taste this sweet pussy while you were-"

"Seungcheol please," your whines were enough for him give you a subtle lick, silencing your needy cry with a bit of pleasure, but not enough for you. "Am I talking too much, baby?" He asked, his hands moving to rub your thighs before placing a kiss onto them, a small smirk on his lips as you begged again, this time a bit louder, complaining softly about how much he was talking. "Maybe you should pull my hair baby, keep my mouth busy." You did so, gripping the blonde locks to pull him closer to you, moaning softly at the feeling. "Harder, baby." You couldn't help but gently shake at Seungcheol's commanding voice, pulling on his hair harder so he was fully pressed against your wet pussy, just like he wanted.

You couldn't help but grind against his face, moaning whenever his own moans provided vibrations against you. You squeezed your legs around his head, his blonde hair peeking out from your tightly closed thighs as he continued to eat you out, moaning praises into you while you did so.

After one louder moans of his name, he ripped himself away to press his lips against yours, successfully silencing you while his fingers moved to carefully take off your shirt. "As much as I love hearing you say my name so sweetly baby, most of the staff is below or on this floor and I would hate if they heard us and ruined our fun, right baby?" You nodded as the last fabric left your skin, returning your lips to his while he removed his bottoms. You bit his bottom lip as one of your hands moved around his cock, pumping it a few times as he gently moaned into your mouth before he moved you to lay down on your stomach, rubbing his cock along your wet folds, lubing himself up. He slowly pushed into you as your hands gripped the sheets, moaning into a nearby pillow while he filled you up, your body embracing every edge and ridge of his cock as he bottomed you out.

He gave you a few moments to calm down before rested his hands on either side of the pillow you were using, gently moving his hips side to side to ensure you were perfect for him. There was something about having you on your stomach, his hips flush against your ass, you ready for him to have as much of you as he wanted, especially in Pairs, somehow made him slightly sentimental. "Tell me you love me."

"What- Oh fuck," You gripped the sheets once more as his hips began to move harshly, snapping against the flesh of your ass as your face returned to the pillow, only for one of his hands to gently cup your face, making you look up at him while he continued to fuck you roughly. '' You heard me, baby. I know it feels so good, but I gave you a command: tell me you love me while I blow your back out so fucking well." You tried to form sentences while he moved, your brain going fuzzy as he moved faster, not giving you any opportunity to try and answer is question. That's how he wanted you, though: only focused on his dick and how good it feels, not anything else or anyone else.

"That's it, baby, fuck me back. Arch your back while I fuck you from behind," he leaned down to bite your shoulder while you did so chuckling when you began to whine about being close to coming. "You're close? Good. Cum for me, Y/N. Oh my god, give it to me" Seungcheol moved his hips faster as you came, biting his lip as some of your cum began to coat the outside of his thighs. He only slowed down as you began to shake, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to your skin before pulling back, the hand that was holding your jaw now moved carefully and slowly down your spine, smirking as goosebumps erupted in your skin. "You know what, baby? That was just. Not. Hard enough for me." his thrusts added emphasis to his words, his hand now roughly gripping at the flesh of your ass as he returns to his rough pace, leaning down to press his face against yours so you could kiss him messily, your hips now meeting his while a whole new wave of pleasure ripped through you, now coating both of your thighs.

He gently praised you as you continued to move back against him, his other hand moving from the pillow to move the hair from your face, moving to gently cup your jaw to force it open before he gently spat into your mouth, letting your head drop back to the pillow before he ran a hand through his hair, giving you a moment to calm down before he began to move his hips, gently pushing the upper half of your body down into the bed while he continued to move his hips, biting his own lip as he held back, contemplating something for a moment before he leaned down to press another kiss to your skin, his hips picking up the pace once you began to mewl into the sheets. "That's its Princess, louder. Get louder for me while you're so lost in these goddam sheets."

"But what about-"

"Obviously I haven't done a good enough job if you're still out here thinking about other people instead of me, right now. Guess I'll have to fix that." He flipped you over so you were on your back, your legs wrapped around his waist while he leaned down to kiss you, his free hand moving to cup your jaw once more so you were looking right at him while his hips picked back up their rough and fast pace, Seungcheol meeting your eyes as he felt himself begin to lose himself within the pleasure. "Cum for me, Angel, come on. I don't give a fuck who hears, come on baby. Cum nice and hard for me, yes." His words were rushed as you screamed his name, Seungcheol doing the same as his hips stuttered against yours, filling you up as you dug your nails into his biceps.

His eyes gently rolled back as he came, a mix of a growl and a moan leaving his lips as he fell forward to rest on your body, his head in your neck while you both held each other, relishing in the afterglow.

After a bit, Seungcheol moved off you, carefully moving to run you a bath before returning, placing you into the beautiful marble that was filled with roses, bubbles, and hot water. You rested your head against the side as he joined you, carefully washing your body before getting you dressed in one of his shirts, laying you down in the large bed while he cleaned up, letting you drift to sleep calmly.

You woke up the next morning to your boyfriend at one of the tables eating breakfast, scrolling through his phone with nothing but a pair of boxers on. When he noticed you were awake, he looked up, offering you a smile before taking him and his plate of food to the bed, sitting down next to you. While you munched on one of the slices of toast he had, he only took a simple sip of his coffee before simply saying "I have a meeting with my manager and higher management about our relationship."

You couldn't help but cough at his sudden confession, asking what he meant. To just randomly schedule a meeting with higher management was already crazy, but to have it about your relationship felt insane to you. Seungcheol took a moment to laugh before placing the food onto the nightstand, then turning to you with a confident smile; the same confident smile you fell in love with. "I honestly doubt that he didn't hear us last night, and from the look he gave me this morning when I was getting breakfast, he probably was already planning on telling them, so there's no reason to wait any longer." At your slight scared reaction, he leaned over to kiss you, easing any of your nerves. "I'll make sure nothing happens to you, I promise. Plus, wouldn't it be nice to no longer have to kiss through the phone?"

Yes, it would be.

[kcake555]

Kim Hanbin cake 🍰

(My ult 😍)

[hwaightme]

Use me (part 1)

THIS IS 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI FOR HALAZIA'S SAKE (nsfw tags under the cut) (masterlist)

🌌 pairing: nonidol!mingi x afab!reader 🌌 genre: smut, angst, emotions 🌌 summary: You had a routine. Every Friday night, you would meet with your friends to hit the clubs, looking for fun. It was easy, it was emotionless, it was carefree. But what will happen when your usual wingmen are not around, and you only have your shy friend, Song Mingi to keep you company under the neon lights? 🌌 wordcount: 9.7k 🌌 warnings/tags: language, alcohol, intoxication, indications of past bad relationship experiences, not believing in love, emotional suppression, some of them want to use you, some of them want to get used by you... 🌌 taglist: @layzfeelit @honey-lemon-goose here's the drop 🌌 a/n: Hello there! This is my first attempt at smut, so please do be warned. Hope you enjoy, MINORS DNI, nsfw tags and content under the cut. (note: song referenced is BTBT by B.I)

🌌 nsfw tags: sub!mingi, dom!reader, mingi is a pretty princess, pet names, degradation(mingi receiving), cunnilingus, protection IS USED, one night stand energy, mistress, a lot of dirty talk, teasing, denial, overstimulation.

You were the centre of the universe. A modern-day Venus, swaying your delicious hips in time to the music, arms in the air spelling seduction. The earth-shattering bass was resetting your intoxicated heart like a defibrillator. The kaleidoscopic haze was surrounding you and embracing you like the sweetest hit of anaesthesia right before you went under. Nothing existed except you and the gazes that were scanning you, devouring every inch of your body as you made the dance floor your bitch once again.

It was all but a blur, just how you liked it.

The neon was your weekly escape, something of a routine that you had established with a couple of your closest friends: Wooyoung and San. You three were the lives of any party, igniting the atmosphere and not letting the scalding hot flame die out until you said so. And even then, in the hearts of all those lucky enough to witness your miraculous, dizzying passion would linger the burning remains of an unforgettable night.

Over time, your trio had established ground rules and fool-proof strategies for how to get the most out of any night out. From the elaborate preparations, dressing to the elegant elevens but ready to offer just the right amount of sleaze if need be. To the selections of drinks that give just the right buzz without letting you lose your head. To your personal favourite – the complex tango of aiding one another to capture the next beauty and wring their everything dry until they knew nothing except you, Wooyoung or San. All to experience the satisfaction of hearing another heart break the next morning.

This was your idea of love – a hit every Friday night, a fuck with no strings attached. If what drove them wild was for you to call them your beloved - you did not care. Things said in the night died a small death and turned to ghosts in the morning. Remaining in the afterglow. At least you did not have to remember their name. Their bodies also faded from your memory quickly enough. So, you came back, again, and again. In search of a wondrous, lust-filled temporary high.

It was the same tonight. Same club, same throngs of bodies glistening in sweat under the strobe lights, just belonging to different people. The DJ had recognised you, so he changed the set to play a couple more of your favourite songs. His wolfish gaze revealing a lot more than he wanted. Oh, how simple all these people were. And how easy they were to wrap around your finger. If only you had the same drive today. But San’s girlfriend, well now ex-girlfriend, decided that today, of all days of the week, was just right to break up with him, and Wooyoung being his roommate could not leave the blubbering dejected mess alone.

No amount of convincing could coax the two out of hiding in their newly renamed ‘bachelor’ pad. Not wanting to let the two buzzkills completely destroy your energy, you still tugged on your best dress, and strutted in, head held high, hair in captivating locks. There was something truly devilish about you, and you were normally not afraid to use it to your advantage. But there was something different about tonight. Probably because you had to settle for the company of another one of your friends. Someone a lot more demure, for the lack of a better word.

Even though it was a six-foot-tall man with a toned physique and the most attractive hands that you were talking about, you could not help but think of him as a pretty little princess. He was just so untainted, so harmless and prey-like. You could feel his nervousness whenever you approached. His fluttering eyelashes, a quick, shy bite of the lip as he attempted to conjure up a response to whatever you asked. This was Song Mingi. A friend who you had no idea how you made, and why he stuck around still.

He had just appeared one day, an acquaintance you had met through one of those closest to you back in university. Funnily enough, it was the mutual friend that you had ceased to speak to. Mingi was doing a different major, had a different lifestyle, behaved differently, even interpreted things differently, but he had been accepted into the group, nonetheless. Probably because one of your friends had an undeniable thirst for him. Not that he had ever noticed though.

Mingi had always been like that. A gentle creature. A ball of cuteness. If your whole friend group had ever sat together, it was always as though there was one soft, fluffy cloud amidst hurricanes, tornados and thunderstorms. Not a single drop of rain on anyone’s parade. He had the desire to please, and would always volunteer to do errands for others, even if it was so far out of his way it was foolish to do so.

He had stopped once you had explained to him that others were using him. Including your own friends. You had pointed out that he had the power to refuse, and that they were not going to admonish him, as a matter of fact, they would not particularly care. Mingi had taken your words as gospel, and since then, had taken to treating you like his saviour of sorts. Or at least that was how you had initially seen it.

First thing he had done for you after you had merely pointed out the obvious was gotten you your go-to order at the café near campus. How he knew or had found out – you never managed to pry out of him. Then there had been the ‘accidental’ (read: intentional, because Mingi looked like he had been loitering in that corridor for a weirdly long time) run ins during your transits from one lecture hall to another, so that he could walk with you to your class.

The attention had been a bit much at first, but you had grown to accept it as usual ‘Mingi behaviour’. After all, he was the princess, the fluffy cloud, the ray of sunshine. That had to be just how he was. And as such, you had never taken him seriously. A couple of your friends had pointed out that maybe he was trying to make advances, but you shut that down rapidly by reminding them that you had no desire to love, nor could you see anyone wanting to love you.

You had never seen that side of your life be so peachy. It was almost as if you had been born into heartbreak and were nurtured by it. The antithesis to love was where you had comfortably resided for so long, and only stepped out to reach for comrades in misery. That was how you had found your people. Your chaos. These amazing idiots with whom you could share everything, and they would accept you for the idiot that you were. And having someone from the other side, from so-called ‘paradise’, trying to trace your steps and meet you halfway – it felt wrong. It was wrong. It was not what you had written out for yourself in your own blood and conviction after you had seen and felt too much. You made a decision and turned it into an aspect of your identity. Like some people were awfully co-dependent, or mentioned their significant other in every sentence, you were proudly solo. Unaffected by that nonsense.

It was not meant for you, that whole ‘written in the stars’, sappy romance, soulmates bullshit. All of that was mere theory. A concept invented by some people who had no idea how reality worked. Your reality was all about giving into carnal pleasures if you needed to relieve some stress or craved some intimacy. The emotional satisfaction came from being with your crew. Your collection of people who were ride or die. As time had shown, even that could not last forever. At least you still had San and Wooyoung. The two who had you had instantly clicked with.

The two who were currently sitting at home, with San probably watching some guilty pleasure drama and sobbing into a plushie while Wooyoung had likely made his killer dakgaejang for the ultimate comfort. Thereby officially abandoning you and leaving you to your own devices. Well, almost. Tonight had to be the night when you had all agreed to invite Mingi along after a few months of his stagnancy in that department. Your trio wanted to show him how to unwind and have a good time. But now that responsibility fell solely to you, and you could not help but feel a little awkward. No matter how hard you tried, you could not get the man to loosen up. And in turn, he was ruining all plans you had in finding yourself a little fun.

With the glares he inadvertently sent every potential midnight suitor who approached you, Mingi was acting every bit a pouting, jealous boyfriend. This had only gotten worse after he had a couple of drinks. His eyes were only ever following you. Tracing your curves as you grinded against yet another ‘possibility’, trying to see where it could go. But that stare. It would not leave neither your body, nor your consciousness. From your position on the dance floor, you could only barely make out his form, leaning, arms crossed, against a black pillar. But it seemed that no matter what you did, Mingi would still find you. Much like he had done in the past and acted like your loyal puppy. A pesky little sunray.

With no success after a total of five songs, you decided to retire to the side lines and take a breather. Sauntering over to Mingi, you pointed at his hand, and received your drink that he had been keeping safe. A refreshing dilution of whatever the beverage was supposed to be. After taking a greedy sip, you spotted a more secluded seating area in one of the corners of the venue, which had not been reserved nor was occupied, and strode on over before anyone had the same idea as you. You did not need to check if Mingi was behind you. The only answer, ever, was yes.

Crash landing onto one of the couches, nearly spilling what you had left of the liquid nonsense, you gave a little yawn. It was a little too early for you to be getting bored, but without Woo and San to be the two devils on your shoulders and wingman collaborators, you were contemplating calling it a night and just leaving. If Mingi wanted to stay for a little longer he could: he was a big boy who could go clubbing on his own. But to you, the past couple of hours have been a continuous mission failed.

“Hey, if you are feeling tired, we could-”

That choice of pronoun, ‘we’, rubbed you the wrong way. You did not need this ‘we’ right now. You needed another someone, anyone to make that ‘we’ happen.

“Nah, don’t worry about me I just needed to sit down for a second. All that dancing and not taking a break? That’s how you know a person is on something.” You gestured at the dance floor again to emphasise your point.

From a distance, it really did look like an unstoppable, pulsating jelly fish that emanated neon fluorescence. Your natural habitat. Your rhythm. Fuck it. You were going back. You did not want to be in the company of this cutesy dullard. At least not right now. In a few quick moves, Mingi was left standing alone by the couches, as you clicked your heels across to the dance floor, joining the chaos once more.

How breath-taking you looked. Mingi was stunned as your lithe form glided past him, in that little black dress that beautifully hugged your figure. You were royalty under the moonlight. A seductress out on the prowl, unknowingly having laid claim on his soul long before you had ever thought you could. Mingi had never understood how he had fallen so hard for you, but this was an abyss that he would never be able to get out of, as every waking day gave him a new reason to love you.

He had been the only one out of his school to go to the university that he did, and since it was a distance away from the family home, he had to move, live alone, work alone, sit alone. There had been some positive aspects to that lifestyle, like he had all the time in the world to study, but the loneliness began eating away at him, gnawing into his anxieties until it had become almost unbearable. That was when he had reached out to someone he knew had good social networks in the university, and in a matter of weeks had found himself a group to be in. Your group, to be more specific. Everyone had been welcoming, but he had convinced himself that he could not be anything except a burden, and as such he had turned into something reminiscent of a butler. A boy at beck and call, just because he wanted to have friends and thought he had to continuously prove himself worthy. It was exhausting, but once he had started, it was near impossible to stop. People got used to good things far too quickly.

But then, there was you. An angel who had taken him by the hand and led him out of the maze of his own making. The only one who had stepped in. The one who had shown they cared. At first, he just wanted to show you his gratitude and help you out as best as he could in return for your gesture, but the more time he spent with you, the more he found out about you, the more he ended up wanting everything to do with you. Sure, you had presented yourself as being above feelings, he knew that, but he was not bothered by it. It was your comfort that mattered to Mingi. If that meant keeping everyone besides a select few friends at arm’s length, then so be it. At least it was your arm, and you were not refusing his company entirely.

That was how he had ended up being a sort of satellite to your system. A little moon orbiting around you while you and your friends were a galaxy, and order of planets. It was clear that the group was not as impressive as it had been, and that he was still the odd one out, nevertheless, social outings were still being organised, and he could sometimes attend them. His heart had swelled when you, Wooyoung and San had reached out to him with an invite to a night club. And now, even more so that the duo could not make it, albeit for an upsetting reason.

Mingi knew why you went to this club in particular. It had a good crowd, quite a few ‘lookers’, and people did not hesitate to spend their money. You had frequented it enough times for you to be very amiable towards nearly all staff, even recognising that one of the barmen was a new hire and wishing him luck. You were so amazingly attentive, and your ‘focus face’ had not changed at all since Mingi had known you. Forever his first love that never seized to threaten to break out of his chest in a burst of pent-up affection.

Of course, there was another reason why you were here, one that did not sit quite as well with him and was why he was rather sulky and unable to appease you in being more carefree and becoming one with the heavy beat that was roaring over him. And it was that you had your focus trained on others. Studying man after man for their ‘potential’, checking their energy or whatever it was that you could feel through their trousers. You were a dangerous balance of audacious and coquettish, able to physically entice and mentally capture.

But the disgusting, lascivious leers that those you tested the waters with sent you, and them groping your ass, snaking their arms around your waste, or openly palming their groin as they approached you was about to make Mingi go insane. Was this the kind of treatment you suffered through every single Friday night just to satisfy your own needs? Did you have to listen to drunkards call you vile names just for a night of passion? He could not comprehend how anyone could ever deserve it just because they wanted something special.

Fuck it. He could not stand you being attacked in that way anymore. He needed to join you on the dance floor before this could continue. Not for one second could he believe that you were enjoying this. It was dangerous. It was degrading. It was… it was not the you that had been his friend. It was the you that had evoked a different kind of desire within him. An insatiable want for you, and you alone. As he stalked forwards, closer to the centre where you were currently swaying to the more melodic interlude of rhythm and blues as a man clearly double your age was trying to woo you, trying to roam your body with his grimy hands. One look to the left and there was another, a woman who looked to be in her early thirties, unabashedly looking you up and down, likely having undressed you a thousand times in her mind. You were unstoppable, but Mingi desperately wanted to try. So, he silenced his mind’s protests, tuning into a darker hedonism, and swept you away from where you had been dancing and pushing you deeper into the mass, making both of you disappear into its music-enchanted waves.

You were astonished at your friend’s bout of bravery. Raising an eyebrow in suspicion, you studied him as he tried his best to guide you in the dance, however failing to do so without a newbie’s rigidity. A smile crept onto your face as you placed both of your hands on his upper arms, taking note of the well-sculpted muscle concealed by his shirt, and slid them down, nice and slow until you could guide Mingi to rest his own hands right on your waist. Now tonight was getting interesting. Finally. Without as much as a one word exchange you two continued indulging in the trance, and as the song changed, and changed again, time allowed the two of you to completely sink into the addictive feeling.

When my eyes are on you

숨 막힐듯한 전율

Oh, you know you get me loose

Make me go 비틀비틀

It was a push and pull. You wanted to take Mingi to the limit. Since he finally wanted to communicate with your senses, you wanted to show him all that you could do, what this atmosphere could do. The electricity between you and him was undeniable, and as you got more confident in one another’s presence you had fallen into a shared rhythm, taking every breath together, translating every beat into body language.

A dance floor made for two

달이 부르는 선율

Oh, it's only me and you

Make me go 비틀비틀

This ray of sunshine called Song Mingi was glinting in a much more tantalising manner than usual. All that following you around did appear to do some good at least – he could match you well. Almost frighteningly well. His movements were smooth, and he was very light on his feet. And most importantly, he was fully immersed in being your dance partner, to the extent that a club had the space for and considered as paired dancing. At some point during the song, his gentle grasp on your hips had become more needy, and he transferred it to your hips, while still keeping time to the song. As he pushed you closer to him, you could feel heat rolling off his body, and spot a single bead of sweat making its way down the side of his face.

Without thinking about it much you moved to swipe it away, which made Mingi stiffen and falter. He responded to your touch, leaning his head in which you took to be a sign that at least you would have a good night in the club. He was not going to go anywhere and was at your mercy. Very loyal. And all over you. You did have to admit, that once he had dropped the observation game and acted, he was turning out to be a lot more of an exciting person to have around. On top of that, you were getting your fill of more personalised attention, with an enviable man as your companion.

Again, the song changed to a slowed rhythm and blues piece, and both of you took it as a sign to get even closer. Your arms were now draped over his shoulders and loosely crossed behind his neck, and your lower bodies were mere centimetres apart. The previous energetic sequence was all gone, replaced instead with an unmistakeable burning. As your orbs met his in a near-showdown fashion, you could see Mingi’s irrefutable change in demeanour. How did you not consider this man before? This other Mingi? It was like you were meeting somebody for the first time. Somebody who you would not mind making your body.

Your breath was becoming his breath as he inched closer and closer to you, so tentative as though he was asking permission for every tiny movement. He halted right when your noses were touching, and so dangerously close you could almost taste him.

Mingi was going into overdrive. His everything, you, were right within reach, and yet your soul was nowhere to be felt. You were a succubus, tempting him by the way you were toying with his hair, so carelessly, like you did not know what you were doing to him. Tempting him by the kittenish expression you wore, your half-lidded eyes hinting at a future that he had only dreamt of with you. His sinful fantasies about you had all awakened; episodes that he had drafted in solitude wanting to be re-enacted. How he yearned for your touch. For him to be able to melt into you and give himself up. Be only yours. Forever. So, you did not ever have to do what you had been doing all this time before tonight. He let out a shaky breath, affected by the lust that was already clouding his vision. Voice low, and a little hoarse, Mingi momentarily shut his eyes and whispered right against your cheek:

“Use me.”

You tried to step back a little, surprised at Mingi’s sudden proposition. But he would not let go, instead pressing you flush against his frame. You could now feel that he was not kidding, his blooming arousal greeting you through the layers of fabric. Because you had not responded to him, nor showed any signs of being interested, the notes of roughness in his tone disappeared entirely, leaving behind something closer to a whimper:

“Y/N… please. Use me. You… you don’t need anybody else. Can just use me.”

In awe, you were staring at Mingi. Now this was something you had never predicted for this Friday night. In your musings, you had bet that by now, you would have been in your own bed, watching a music show and drifting off to sleep. Not about to make a decision that could change the course of your life while in a not so lucid state of mind.

“Then tell me, darling, how do you want me to use you?” you asked back, hearing a sharp and shallow gasp from Mingi. He was unwinding right in your hands, and you had barely done anything.

“I’d rather show you, Y/N, if you will let me.” He mumbled, beginning to trace your jawline with soft, feathery kisses.

“And I’d rather bend you to my will.” The retort sent a shiver down his spine, and he ceased to pepper you with the manifestation of his desirous state. “After you take me to your place.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“I could get used to this. Lead the way, darling. Your place.”

With one arm wrapped around your waist, tracing abstract patterns on your dress, and the other being used as a wedge to part the tightly knit bodies, Mingi immediately answered to your request. He had not changed his positioning as he flagged down a taxi, and continued holding onto you, although now it was your hand in his, for the duration of the drive to his home. Whilst the tiny droplets of possessiveness masked most of Mingi’s disposition, there was an endearing aspect to it. In some ways, Mingi was like a little kid who had just discovered something extraordinary and was ready to tie himself to it to ensure that it did not disappear. Even with his present actions unveiling nothing but an unprecedented lust and unbreakable certitude, Mingi still had remnants of his day-time self clinging onto him. Which was the first thing you focused on ripping way once he had finished fumbling with the keys to his front door.

You were tightly bound in each other’s arms. The air was thick with anticipation while Mingi closed the door with his foot and haphazardly threw off his shoes. You followed suit, and upon having done so, observed your ‘human offering’. You could see that he was not sure in how to proceed, having stopped midway through the entryway corridor, but the grip he had was on the contrary, more possessive. If he wanted to be used so badly, then he would not mind if you ruined him.

A harsh pull of the shirt collar and a stifled mention of your name later, your red-tinted lips locked in with his in a perfect harmony. In that moment, he was like your oasis, a discovery of a paradise after eons of suffering, a salve to your numerous wounds. The kiss swiftly transformed from the first phase of introductory exploration, luxuriating in the delectable tension, to a faster and more fervent collision of sexual ardour.

He was so malleable in your hands, giving into your control and honouring it with the unholy groans that were building up in his throat. To think that you had such an effect on someone and so quickly! It sparked a stronger desire to make him unravel and proudly share with you just how good, how satiated you made him feel. You wanted to hear him submit to you and follow your laws.

As you toyed with the hem of his trousers, pulling at the belt and letting your noticeably colder fingers glide against his skin, you elicited a growl from Mingi, who broke away from your lips to trail kisses down your neck and stopped right at the base, nuzzling into it and masking his responsive eagerness.

“Bed… room…” his demand came across more as a suggestion due to his feeble tone, but you felt nice, for now, and obliged, and let him take the lead in your tango across the living space and through the half-open door straight across from where you had been.

You were illuminated only by the moon and the streetlights that shone through the window, leaving you standing in an ethereal glow. Shadows that fell across Mingi’s face as he pulled away from you, his breathing ragged, only amplified the near-animalistic want etched onto him, another mark of his submission to you. He did not dare make a single move, again, standing in wait. An obedient boy, letting you turn his back to the bed, pushing him down until he was sat on its edge. You straddled him, your dress riding up to reveal the panties of a lacy lingerie set, and languidly grinded against him a couple of times to drive up his desire. He stifled a moan by biting his swollen bottom lip in an attempt to hide his craving for you, but that bashfulness was not on your agenda.

Motivated by his shallow pants, you slid your hands with fingers spread far apart under his white, now crumpled shirt, sliding them lazily up his torso, feeling for every ripple, every response to you. You stopped at his chest, paying particular attention to his nipples as you stimulated them, repeatedly making circular motions with your index fingers and pinching them until you saw Mingi tilt his head back a little and make haste to adjust his hold on you, moving to your voluptuous ass. Pushing himself against you he tried to chase his own high, giving into the first gifts bestowed upon him in the form of your caresses. But not so fast, you were not going to let him have so much fun so early on. Not when he had pledged to listen to you. To let him be your toy for the night. With a devilish smirk, you abruptly stopped, making Mingi’s eyes shoot wide open, and dart across your features. The nervousness did little to make you merciful, for instead you found you took pleasure in taking away what others enjoyed. He was confused, unable to read your expression. Just as he was opening his mouth, still decorated with your sweet saliva, you used his lowered guard against him and toppled him backwards. You took him by the wrists and pressed them by his head, right into the disturbed sheets. He looked so pretty under you. Pretty little princess. Those doe eyes, searching for an answer from you. A command. Anything.

“Did you not say I could use you, hm, darling? And now what do you think you are doing?” you purred, hovering over him.

Mingi let out a desperate hum and tried to buck up his hips against you. You knew that he could overpower you at any moment. And that made your present power of him that much sweeter. You held your ground and ignored the heat rising in your core. When he denied you a response, you removed your hold from one of his wrists, instead taking his chin and gripping it to make him see only you through his daze.

“I will repeat, what the fuck do you think you are doing, huh?” you were centimetres away, hissing the question right into his ear before softly exhaling, leaving a few kisses and cautiously biting the lobe. Mingi’s chest rose and fell sharply as he took in the sensation.

“I… I want you. I want you so bad, Y/N. Please.” He begged, letting his free hand rise to try hooking the strap of your dress, but before he could slide it down your shoulder, you switched your position again, now no longer holding him down, but tearing his shirt apart to feast your eyes.

“And where did your obedience go, darling? Do you think you deserve what you want?” you applied pressure on his clothed member, mocking how you could so easily ride him.

“I… sorry, Y/N, I cannot think, I-”

“Shut up. You said to use you. Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“Yours, Y/N I am yours-”

“That is mistress to you, you little bitch.” You snapped, back to peering into his clouded orbs. On instinct, you moved to give his throat some ‘affection’, applying light pressure on either side as you continued: “Pretending to be so innocent, whoring yourself out to me. I bet this is what you do on the daily, batting your eyelashes looking all pretty and in a matter of minutes becoming a lascivious little slut.”

“Y/N-” he yelped, but you were not having that kind of disrespect, so you tightened your rip and moved one hand behind you to fish for his belt.

“It’s mistress, darling.” You uttered, an ominous darkness dripping from your words. Mingi shuddered as he felt you masterfully removing the pesky accessory, discarding it with one throw.

“Okay, m-mistress, ah fuck…” he moaned as you let go of his throat and fully exposed his throbbing member, taking it in one hand and rubbing its tip with a thumb. He desperately wanted to see how you unwounded him, but you remained sat right on his pelvis, hiding your act with your body.

“Is this what you want, darling? Me pleasuring you? Me taking you apart with my touch?”

“Ah- yes! Yes, mistress!”

“What a good boy, see it was not so hard to learn. Now tell me how far do you want to go.” You broke your act just a little, to check if Mingi was still on board. You had no idea of his experience, nor of his boundaries, so it was a matter of respect.

“All… all the way… Y/N, sorry, mistress.”

“Good. Then I expect you to follow my every command. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes.”

“Good little fuck toy.” You praised, sliding your hand down his dick, spreading his precum down the length and giving him one pump, only to fully remove yourself from his body and sit on your knees by his side. You traced his abdomen as you pondered out loud, amused at his dedication – he was not moving a single inch, wrapped up in your presence.

“I have been far too generous, don’t you think? Giving you all the pleasure, whilst you are making a mess and not thanking me for all I have done. Filthy.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much, mistress.”

“For what?”

“For treating me so well. For making me feel so good-”

“Oh, you eager little slut, such a pleaser. Sweet talking your way into getting some more. How greedy!” you laughed, crawling closer to his head and running your fingers through his locks. “I will need a lot more than that to forgive you for being so demanding.”

“Anything.” He answered airily.

“Then make me come with that mouth of yours. Show me what your tongue can really do.”

“Yes, please, mistress.”

“Tsk-tsk, how cute. Then on your knees, darling right there. In front of the bed. So I can see just how delightful you look worshipping my cunt.”

In a matter of seconds, he was making his way off the bed, and simultaneously discarding the rest of his clothing that you had unbuttoned. Stark naked, he dropped to the ground, just as you had commanded him to. The moon illuminated him once more. A lustful little angel.

You took your time in removing your dress, feigning a lack of want. As if you were doing Mingi a favour by being here, and by letting him eat you out. You wanted to make it a point that your orgasm was his highest reward, and that he better get used to it quickly if he wanted to be used by you. Mingi gaped at you as you were left in your bra and panties, the article now leaving barely anything to the imagination. On all fours, you crawled towards him, every bit a dangerous wildcat ready to pounce. Before taking a comfortable seat for your pleasure, you cupped his chin once more and pulled him into a sultry kiss, tilting your head to seek entrance with your tongue.

Mingi gripped the sheets and tried to rise to pull you closer into him, but upon seeing the too positive response, you sat right back, and slid your legs down into position. You rested your weight on one arm, while the other absent-mindedly played with Mingi’s hair as he placed his hands on your thighs, and began to take your panties off. For a couple of seconds, you played along, sitting up slightly so that the material could escape from under you, but just as he thought he had it all in his power, you stopped him by yanking him to attention by the hair.

“Now, not so fast, did I say I wanted to see what your hands could do?”

“No, mistress.”

“Exactly. Use your mouth, pretty boy.” He obliged, even going so far as to put his hands behind his back. He took the material between his teeth, and worked at it, little by little, downwards, until it appeared as though he was bowing to you, right at your feet. In one final move, Mingi tugged them off you, and rose up once more, an entertaining look of pride on his features.

You committed each step of this intimate sequence to memory and continued watching the show that he was putting on for you. The throw of the panties away from him with a move of the head, his gaze trailing down your body, his kitten-like nudges to your thighs, pleading you to spread them further apart. Not wanting to wait any longer, you did as much, and wriggled yourself forwards a tiny bit more.

As he kissed your clit and ran his hot tongue between your already soaked folds, you realised just how riled up you were. He would do anything for you, and that turned you on unbelievably. You tightened your jaw and shut your mouth to suppress any sound as you let your head fall back a little, your hair streaming down behind you in a waterfall. He was lapping up your nectar like a parched man, not leaving a single bit behind. With a flick, he switched his attention back to your aroused bud, and began to circle it with his tongue, occasionally pursing his lips to give the sensitive blossom intemperate sucks.

It was challenging to hold back any more of your sinful moans as he returned to your wet hole, penetrating it with his tongue and twisting in an unrepeatable motion. You felt your core begin to tighten, as a high was alerting you of its imminence. You tugged gently at Mingi’s soft hair and praised him for being such a good little boy, such a good darling, for fucking you so good with his tongue.

His delighted hums sent a vibration against your dripping cunt, and you groaned in pleasure, only making Mingi pick up his pace. His tongue was moving in and out, gliding against your folds and playing with your clit. As he buried his face in your pussy, wanting nothing more than to drown in your juices, your climax was fast approaching. As your breaths turned shallower by the second, and you pressed Mingi’s head right against you, he took the signal and gave your clit one final lick and curled his tongue upwards, right inside your hole. He was beckoning you, begging you to cum for him.

“Ah fuck, Mingi I-” his name slipped out of your mouth as you gave into the awaited orgasm, shuddering at the unforgettable feeling. He reacted to your exclamation with unexpected vigour, kissing your sex and hastily drinking in your release. This further stimulated you as you let go of him and leaned back onto your elbows, to not fully collapse.

Taking deep breaths in, you composed yourself and returned from your high. You glanced at Mingi, whose lips were glistening with your wetness. He dared to give you a shy smile after noticing your observation, like he was awaiting more praise for his hard work.

“What a good little slut my pretty boy is. Making mistress really happy.” It was hard to keep your voice steady, but you tried your best, seeing as you had to maintain dominance.

“And I am so happy too mistress. Thank you… can I ask something?” he inquired, as you rose onto your knees again and unclasped your bra, making him lose track of his thoughts for a moment.

“Go on ahead.” You enjoyed when men scrutinised your so hungrily. How your shapely breasts managed to make them forgive and forget anything you wanted them to. As you watched Mingi swallow some spit, eyes trained on your chest, you began to knead them for full effect, “you were saying?”

“Oh… I… I liked when… when you called me by my name… mistress…” he forced out, rising up onto his feet as you motioned for him to do so with your index finger. Now this was problematic. You never liked using your temporary lovers’ names during sex, as you felt it to be a little too personal. Yes, there had been times when it slipped, but Mingi had been the only one to take notice and express his liking of the fact.

“Well, one time’s enough baby boy. You need to work harder for me, you hear me?” you turned the game around, evading the possibility of him asking you to stop with the pet names and degradation. After what looked to be a flash of disappointment, Mingi returned to his obedient state and mumbled a low ‘yes mistress’.

You commanded that he lied down, just as he had before, his member now completely in the air and almost unbearably hard. You moved to sit right before it, your legs spread and straddling his thighs, pussy just within reach. But not just yet. You had a little more you wanted to do; you wanted to return the favour – you were just that nice.

Mingi was in a state of pure bliss as you spat on his cock and rubbed the viscous liquid over it. It was only a matter of moments before you heard him emit a low, husky moan. He cursed at the feeling, eyes rolling back a little as he gave into you, again. It was almost more pleasurable watching him plead for you to go faster than satisfying yourself. How his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink when you played with his tip. How he shivered when you decided to give his dick a blow of cold air, making Mingi’s mind go into a frenzy. He wanted you to take him whole, bucking up his hips as he noticed you moving closer, but that only made him receive a slap on his abused member, and a sharp command:

“Princess. I make the rules here. And if for one second you think that I am going to let your whored out dick touch my lips, I will not hesitate to punish you until you can’t walk.” You threatened, and continued pumping rhythmically as you heard a series of melodic whines in response.

He was so easy to read. Spread on the palm of your hand, a simple, innocent Song Mingi. So, you knew exactly when to cut his pleasure short, abruptly recoiling and removing your legs to be positioned to his right. You observed his pulsing cock as Mingi cried out in frustration, moaning for you to continue, just a little bit longer.

“Silence, darling. I am bored again, and I think you will like what I am planning.” You explained, twisting at the waist to reach for your handbag that you had thrown in the direction of the side table in the corner.

Upon fishing out a condom and unrolling it on Mingi’s member, you thanked your lucky stars that it was the right size. The friction made him tense up again, and you chuckled. So sensitive. So malleable. All yours to use for the night.

“Are you ready, darling?” you threw the question out in a manner similar to that of asking about someone’s day. Like this really meant nothing to you. Even though your core was pleading for you to hurry up.

“Yes, mistre- ah!” he could not finish his answer as you directed his cock right outside your entrance, and eased it in.

As you took Mingi’s whole length, you put your hands on his abdomen, and peered over, glazed over from the sensation of him filling you up, against your walls in all the right places. You needed a moment to get used to it, as the impossibly ideal match left you on the verge of sanity. The heat of your pussy, and its clenching as you wiggled a little to get your positioning just right was making Mingi see stars, detuning from any reason or logic that he may have had left. Now, there was only you and him. Bound by the night.

You commenced your ritual. The sensual rise and fall of your body as you engulfed him more and more with every move. His whimper as you rocked forwards to glide over his length made you groan in response, and you leaned in to kiss him, still managing to taste your own climax on those soft lips. Before you could move away, he cupped your face and pulled you in closer, nearly making you lose balance – you had to move up and push into his chest.

He gazed right into your eyes. It felt like a fire, burning through you. You were comfortable with lust, and had seen it many times before, but there was something deeper, something more lethal behind Mingi’s carnality. But in your present disorientation, you dismissed it as a building thrill to accompany the knot that was steadily growing within you. It was impossible to look away as he powered through the numbing gratification and kept you level with him. The way he looked to be committing you to memory, your every freckle and blemish forming constellations in his universe, was almost frightening.

As your pussy began to pulsate with more frequency around his member, Mingi clenched his jaw and let out a low growl. Unable to stay at the same pace any longer, but still having to remain in his place, he began to toy with your breasts, just as you had done while undressing him, flicking the sensitive nubs until you dug your nails into his skin, feeling the stimulation totally collapsing on you.

“Y/N… please… please mistress… can I… can I please fuck you harder. I want to make you feel so good. As best as I can…” he pleaded, his wish being granted almost instantly as you guided him back to your hips.

Just as you had done while moving a little way up before, he rocked you in the same direction, his length almost completely escaping you, only to be sheathed back again. As he got more comfortable with you in his grasp, he picked up his speed, the gentleness being replaced by steady pounds. He rolled his body up against you, joining you in the race to a long-awaited high. Your moans were becoming uncontrollable as you struggled to stay on top of him, which led him to flip you over and take his position on the bed. You were too hazy to protest as he kissed your neck, your cheeks your nose, your lips, and intertwined his fingers with yours as he quickened his pace even more.

The sound of your juices being pumped again and again was making you and him lose your minds, feral from the sexual delight. You could not care less that he was now groaning out your name with every stroke, and that his face was showing nothing but adoration. You were using him, after all, he had to fit to your demands. And how he was now having his way with you was making you go mad with lust. Your cunt could not take this perfection much longer, and you could feel it cramp around Mingi’s dick, signifying your unravelling.

“Ah… shit… darling… I… I am about to...”

It was challenging to find the words, let alone form them into a coherent sentence as you cried out and came undone once more. You wrapped your arms around Mingi’s broad shoulders, bringing him to you as you muted your yelps with his kiss. He continued pumping into you until he, too, began to falter, and soon enough was moaning right into you. Both of you collapsed into one another, your sweaty bodies becoming one in the moonlight as he relished in the feeling of your ecstasy warming his cock.

Using the last of the strength he had left, Mingi pushed himself off you and rolled over onto his back. Breathing heavy, you focused on the settling silence of the room. As your eyes had fully adjusted to the semi-dim illumination, you could finally take your surroundings in, and when your inhalation and exhalation returned to a reasonable pace, you could make out the noises of traffic coming from outside. Barely there, but a reminder that you were not on cloud nine.

It was time to clean up. You were quick to regain your senses, thanks what could be considered as training, while the same could not be said about Mingi. He was practically motionless, only the beating of his heart and breathing giving away that he was a living, but totally spent man. You removed the condom, tying it in a knot and throwing it in a bin you spotted in the corner.

It was fairly easy to find the bathroom, with its entrance being right outside. As you dolled yourself up again, which was pretty much just wiping away some mascara and eyeliner that had decided to stain your cheeks, you wondered whether Mingi was already asleep, or if he was going to meet you in the shower. Not wanting to wait, you took the liberty of stepping in and dousing yourself in the cooling water, careful not to ruin your hair more than it had already been tousled by passion.

No change. You unceremoniously dried yourself using the closest available towel, throwing it into the laundry basket under the sink. Mingi was definitely asleep. Or just so exhausted that he could not function. You chuckled to yourself, your ego swelling – a common occurrence on a Friday night for you. But a little seedling of suspicion had risen within you as you turned of the light and stalked back to the room. The intimate eye contact, the kiss to ride out the climax, the hand holding. This was a little… personal. Much like his reaction to you calling out his name. You were using him, you repeated to yourself. He just offered himself to you. A loyal friend, right? Helping another in need, apologising for cockblocking you for nearly the entire evening. What the fuck were you even saying? There was something off about this. You could not place a finger on it. But Mingi, poor Mingi, answered all your doubts in one go.

As you stood by the bed, about to lie back down to let yourself drift into a peaceful rest before exiting the scene in the morning, he stirred. You chose to not make any further motions to join him. You glanced at his form, now curled up and reaching towards the side where you had been. This pretty little angel. Who had fallen for the night to satisfy your sin. Just as you were about to step towards the window to take in the scenery, Mingi mumbled out the one thing you were terrified of.

“I love you… Y/N…”

Your heart stopped, and you froze in place.

You knew he was irrational. You knew he was fucked out and on the verge of slumber. Hell, you heard others say this to you before in a post-coital bliss. But something about how those three little words fell out of Mingi’s bruised lips tore at you, and how he said your name was a direct shot through the heart. By barely doing anything, just giving into his nature, his mind’s calling, Mingi made it clear that this really was a truth that he had harbouring for so long, and that only at his most vulnerable, while with you, could he reveal it.

In those couple of seconds that it took to utter the sacred confession, he had unlocked his world, one that revolved around you. If the past did not exist, and this was all a movie, the audience could almost believe that this was all domestic. That in a matter of seconds you would be crawling back into bed, to someone with whom you were sharing your life, to fall asleep in his embrace.

And not to be scrambling for your belongings that had been strewn around on the floor, careful not to alert your ‘not so much a friend anymore’. You felt panic rise in your throat as you let out a couple of shaky breaths.

“I love you”

Was it that easy for him to say?

“I.”

“Love.”

“You.”

Why were you so affected by it? Why was this the first time that these words, in that order, did matter?

You sent one apologetic glance over your shoulder as you tip-toed out of the bedroom, sex still heavy in the air. Your high heels were still in your hands as you crept out of Mingi’s apartment, out of fear that he could awaken at any moment, and you would not be able to stay indifferent enough to brush his pleas away.

Would he say your name in the morning?

Would he miss you when he realised you were gone?

Shit. You were in deep trouble.

You pulled down your dress a little, flipped one of the straps that decided it was not the time to look neat, and shoved the tights that you had not had the time nor the courage to stay and put on into your handbag. There was no chance you were going to stay in that same space as him. The adoration was borderline suffocating. It was so pure. So… honest. It made you sick to your stomach, and you were not sure if it was from disgust or from butterflies.

This was supposed to be just like any other Friday. A satiation of basic human instincts. A moment that was meant to be erased and the space filled by somebody else. But you had committed a fatal error. And you were sure of it. You had foolishly chosen Mingi: the one person who could not comprehend, nor have ‘no strings’ with you. In fact, all strings that he had ever been bound by led only to you.

In retrospect, it was obvious. All the years you had known him, he was always on your team. That silly boy. In university, he had brought you medicine when you were sick. Followed you and your ‘gang’ of troublemakers around almost like a groupie would follow a rock band. Stayed up with you in the campus library just to keep you company as you crunched out some report.

And now, even when life had thrown peers around different cities and countries and your friend group had whittled down to a tight-knit squad, he was still there. Loyal to you. Satisfied even if it was just you rejecting him repeatedly, selecting man after man, sometimes right in front of him, to bring home for the damned Friday night. All because at least before that moment, he could spend some time with you.

What were you thinking, falling for the trap of accepting a lover’s self-sacrifice?

A true libertine, you had chosen the primrose path of dalliance to tread. It was only a matter of time before you had to pay for it in full, for there was nothing in the world that could fix Song Mingi’s heart of gold if it were to break.

You stumbled outside of his apartment building, finally remembering to tug on the heels as your bare feet hit the biting cold concrete. It was barely three in the morning. Much earlier than you had ever left a one-night-stand’s place before. But this was different. In every way it was really fucking different. You hobbled away, cursing yourself over and over as you fished out your nearly dead mobile phone out of your bag, searching for the number of the only one you could call when the apocalypse was upon you.

He picked up after the third ring, just as you were passing under a streetlight. The roads were completely deserted, the residential district wrapped up in a cosy blanket until the morning. Somnolent trees lining pathways and sidewalks were barely rocking, and the only sounds that filled the air were the rumbles of distant traffic.

“Yeah? Y/N? What happened? You normally don’t call-”

“Wooyoung. I fucked up. Really badly. I really, really, badly fucked up.” You felt tears beginning to well up and sting you, threatening to spill over at any moment. Your friend was so concerned about you, launching to try and comfort you. It made you think back to those damn words that had imprinted themselves in your mind. Replaying again and again.

“Wait, wait, what happened, hold on? Are you okay? Are you safe? Where are you? San and I are coming to get you right now-”

“I slept with Mingi.” You cut him off. You were no longer walking; your legs were barely supporting you anyways.

“WHAT?” silence on the line as you heard shuffling and hushed, indecipherable whispers. “So, by that do you mean like, uh… heavy petting and foreplay or-”

“Since when does SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE mean THIRD BASE in our vocabulary, Woo?” you yelled, though without much conviction – you sounded too choked up.

“Fair point… well was it worth it at least?” you were not surprised that Wooyoung would inquire after that even when you were on the verge of melting down right on him.

“Oh, for fucks sake, YES, yes it was good. Very good in fact. More than good.”

“Then hey, at least that’s a positive. Then why are you so distressed? I know he has eyes for you but you know, so do like seventy percent of the guys at work.”

“He said he loved me.” You forced out, attempting to regain some nonchalance.

“No way.” Wooyoung muttered under his breath.

“Yes way.

“Fu-u-uck… Okay Y/N where are you this needs some wine and a good game plan.” You heard the rattling of keys and rapid footsteps. You tried to imagine the layout of your friend’s pad. Anything to get you away from what you had just done.

“I am… you know what let me send you my live location.” You could not bring yourself to take a single step back, even though you had seen a street sign. Going back would mean getting closer to him.

“Cool, stay put,” Wooyoung ended your conversation, but before hanging up you could hear him shouting at San to ‘stop sulking over that bitch there is a real catastrophe happening out there’.

No better words to describe it.

You used Mingi.

While Mingi loved you.