#Both can and should exist at the same time

[dandylovesturtles]

so this is not technically something I wrote fresh, but something I've never posted publicly. this grew out of some "AU within an AU' talks about what would have happened if Donnie and Leo had a "twin sense" during the events of the room fic.

I'm posting this today for @whumpay 's first supernatural prompt, "Psychic Link"

cw: starvation and kidnapping mentioned

---

When Leo’s connection first disappeared, Donnie hadn’t been too worried. Sometimes, especially times like these, when he felt like the world was against him, Leo portaled somewhere far away, where their “twin sense” (as he insisted on calling it) didn’t reach. In ways, the quiet was nice, and Donnie got some work done.

And then he didn’t come back. And the quiet was no longer nice.

———

It comes back at the same time the Rockies come into view on the horizon.

It starts as a faint pulse, the vague suggestion of someone’s else’s feelings. The way it used to be back before they fully awakened their powers, when Donnie still denied the “twin sense” even existed. But it grows, slow at first, then increasing exponentially, until it cracks through into full, startling clarity.

Donnie gasps, and the wheel in his hands jerks.

In hindsight, he should have stopped driving the moment he felt it.

“Dee!” yells April, and then someone is hitting something, and “AUTOPILOT” flashes bright red on screen, and he can barely register what it means because he can’t focus on anything right now but

cold

hungry

exhausted

scared

exposed

alone alone alone 

“No!” he shouts. Hands grab him and pull him out of the chair and away from the dash. “No! I’m here, Leo, we’re here!”

People are talking and shouting around him. The tank slows and stops and no no no, they have to keep going, they have to get there right now-

“Here, Donnie.”

Someone is holding something out to him. He takes it in his hands, belatedly recognizing it as his hoodie. Cold, so cold his teeth keep chattering. Exposed, they’re looking at him, watching him.

He yanks the hoodie on and wraps his arms tight around himself. He’s sitting on the floor and he rocks back and forth.

“Donnie, talk to us,” says a voice. Raph’s voice? “What’s wrong?”

Donnie laughs once, high and hysterical. What isn’t wrong?

“Come on, Dee. We’re here, just talk to us.”

Donnie scrubs at his eyes. He’s crying. He doesn’t know whose tears they are.

“H-he’s cold,” Donnie explains. “Leo.”

“Okay,” says Mikey’s voice somewhere above him. “What else?”

Donnie swallows hard. “Scared. H-hungry. Really hungry.”

“…Do you think,” says Mikey softly, tinged with hope, “he got out? And he’s lost in the mountains somewhere?”

“No,” says Donnie quickly, shaking his head. “Watching him, watching me, exposed, trapped-“

“He’s still trapped,” Raph repeats. “They still have him.”

Donnie nods quickly. It’s not an actual thought, that’s not how it works, they can’t talk to each other. But he knows that if Leo had escaped, these feelings would be different.

“Okay.” Raph lets out a deeply held breath, then asks, “Would eating help? We can get you a snack.”

Donnie nods again, sharp. It won’t fix things for Leo, won’t nourish his body. But it might bring him some relief, if only for a little while.

They move him to the bench seat. Wrap a blanket around him. Press a big bag of trail mix into his hands. He eats it fast and greedy - he hasn’t been keeping up with three meals a day since Leo went missing, but now he makes up for it, now he’ll eat as much as he can if it helps Leo feel better for even one minute.

And he presses these feelings back through the connection.

warm

full

safe 

covered

together together together

He doesn’t know if it gets through. Leo’s misery is a deep abyss, trying to pull them both down. But he reaches through it to take Leo’s hand, and pulls.

[oltammefru]

I've been thinking recently about Theresa and the end of Ep14 and her creating Civilight Eterna, and the question of like: Was she aware of the consequences of her actions? That doing so would extremely fuck up her loved ones, Kal'tsit most of all? The more I think about it the more I come to think that the answer is "yes, but she did it anyway."

Her behavior at the end of EP14 is kind of insane because like, despite how willing she is personally to sacrifice herself for the good of the future and how she tells Kal'tsit "My dear Kal'tsit, since we're all clear about our respective endings, why should we go through sorrow yet again?", at the same time she's like not really willing to let go either. (Think about how the moment she is out of sight, she goes on a mad scramble throughout time itself because she needs so, so, so desperately to know, if she can't have anything else, that her loved ones are ok. She says one thing, but then does another.)

Despite the path that she had chosen and her determination and willingness to see it through, at the end of it all she still doesn't want to go, she is still the person who listened in wonder to Kal'tsit as she told her stories about Terra, the world outside of Kazdel that she wanted to but never got to see, she is still the one who wanted to be able to hold Amiya and read her bedtime stories and assuage her of her nightmares, she is still the one who wanted to be there for her loved ones, in whatever form she can.

And despite all her willingness to sacrifice, and the selflessness of almost all her deeds, she is still in many ways a selfish person (which she acknowledges herself). This is one of the central contradictions of her character, that despite her selflessness, she is characterized majorly by a few specific, extremely, extremely selfish choices of such enormity that they arguably outweigh all of her selflessness. She passed on the crown to a 10 year old child (and Theresa knew Amiya would accept, since she is like that, even though it's not a question that Amiya could given an actual, non-coerced answer to) because so believed she could carry on her ideals, she erased the Doctor's memories both to free them from the shackles of their past, but also to shape them into the person she wanted them to be to best carry out her ideals.

There is such a delightful hypocrisy to this. She, in some sense, wanted desperately, in that selfish core of hers, more than anything else, was to live a life where she was free from the burdens of the past and the shackles of fate, but she still forced that onto Amiya. At the end of Babel, she is walking toward her literal death, but she is still vaguely aware of how death works for the Sarkaz, that she will return to the Originium but still exist in some form, and so she is still hopeful about this: "it's time to say goodbye… we'll meet again in the future won't we… Kal'tsit… Amiya… Doctor." But this time, it really is the end for her, after this there will be nothing left of her, it is a total and complete annihilation of the self. (Which, the thing about this is that like, she deleted the Doctor's identity and subjected them to this, but is unwilling and scared to go through it herself). Despite her virtues and her selflessness, despite what she tells Kal'tsit about partings and endings, she is scared.

The thing about Theresa is that she is a hypocrite, but she is a hypocrite in a highly specific and interesting way. If you pay attention to depictions of Theresa throughout the story, she is someone who believes that fate can be overcome, that the cycle of violence can be broken, except when it comes to specifically herself, for which she is incredibly, incredibly pessimistic, and believes that she's a failure and was unable to break free from her fate. ("To change a man is to make them believe, to make them believe is to destroy their faith, nothing can save such a lost soul.", "But yet, there is no antidote to loneliness, there is no end to nomadic wandering, there is no cure to a terminal illness..." etc.) This is why she's willing to do what she does in Ep14, intentionally choosing to perpetuate the cycle of violence and inflict suffering on other people for the ends of her (and her people) and this something that she fully acknowledges and is perfectly ok with doing in Ep14 even though she could have just like, not. She chooses to act against her ideals because she is a failure, a victim of fate, the sacrifice on top of which the future will be built, an obstacle that the true idealists must and will overcome. She is a hypocrite because she believes that Amiya/the Doctor/Kal'tsit are better people than her, that they are capable of doing what she isn't, and so she is willing to subject them to standards that she doesn't apply to herself.

She can't bear the idea that this is it, that there will be no more of her left, and is willing to do anything to assuage this, and so she makes CE, so she can linger and be there for her loved ones in whatever form possible. I think in this there is a conscious understanding that doing this will hurt her loved ones, and especially Kal'tsit most of all. It's not something she wants to do, but she thinks of Amiya/the Doctor/Kal'tsit as better people than her. She is deliberately doing something that will hurt them yes, but they are strong, and will get through this, like they always have. But herself? She is scared, she has nothing left and soon she will be nothing at all. And so (like she always has), she chooses to go out with one last moment of selfishness.

[contentloadingandstuff]

NSFW Headcanons - Lumine & Mualani x Male!Reader

A/N: Guess who's back, back again. I'm not very excited for the new update, quite the opposite actually, but that's how I generally feel about new content. Having to learn new stuff and keep up is rather exhausting... Anyway, do enjoy! CW: FFM threesomes, slight polygamy (?), public sex, rimming, objectification, pubic hair, some pegging, milking, scent fetish, both girls being pervs, lots of oral and sloppy, vulgar dirtiness - the good stuff.

Lumine’s been alive for longer than Teyvat existed and, having visited many worlds, met equally countless boys. With her dashing looks it's no wonder that she has many suitors in every nation, the more handsome of which becoming her conquests. While she stuck her flagpole - or rather stuck said poles into herself - in a multitude of hearts, it was never for longer. She was always on the move and her partners weren't nearly as mobile as her, forcing her to push them away after some time. Such is the life of the Traveler. 

But now that she has someone willingly following her? You bet she's gonna show you off before the entire world. Let all women be jealous of the catch she has on her hook - a man with not just a tough, fuckable body, but also plenty of brain behind his eyes. Rest assured, both will be flaunted. 

After all, what's not to love about your body? It's everything a male should be in her eyes and more - a rugged, large powerhouse of a man. Broad shoulders and a tough back, prepared to carry any burden, muscular and scratched arms, ready to get dirty, hands that could pin down a helpless maiden like her, rendering her powerless against your lust… Just the thought of standing near a guy like you gets her into the most submissive and meek of moods. Alternatively, she wants to bite it off - lovingly, of course!

Don't be mistaken though, she's not going to be as shy as a virgin about her needs. She isn't; she's actually as far as you can get from innocent - Lumine knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it, often in excessive detail. If she feels like having a go at it, she’ll ask if you also want to stuff her holes for a bit. Anal? Expect an invitation to fuck her up the ass whispered into your ear at a meeting with friends. It’s so fun watching you blush! Especially when there are people in the group with sharp hearing; their reactions are always fun to see. 

There’s no pussyfooting around with Lumi, unless of course she wants to tease you, irritate you, turn up your heat and force you to be as imaginative as herself. If you try the same level of boldness, she might just feign innocence. A blowjob? What’s that? She doesn’t understand. Or do you maybe mean you want her to shove your dick inside her throat and choke on it until you feed her your sticky milk? That’s the kind of thing she wants to hear. Lumine wants to hear you daydreaming about feasting on her fat pussy before pushing her folds apart and skewering her with your meaty cock. There’s something magical, she thinks, about how your normally polite lips can utter these words at the slightest of suggestions. That’s her corrupting influence, and she’s proud of it. Turning proper and righteous boys into horny, pussy-addicted studs is her hobby.

Patient? Gentle? Restrained? Forget it. This is no bedroom for wispy romantics. Lumine needs a man, not a lovestruck boy. She needs a guy that tears her dress down because he’s too horny to wait for her to unbutton it. She wants you to shove her against the wall and bite into her neck, pinning her down as you descend on her sweet flesh like a hungry wolf. When she rubs her tasty folds against your legs, you don’t halt and meekly wait to hear what she feels like doing - you rip her panties off and dig into her cunt as if it was the last meal in your life. And when she’s barely capable of forming a word, you don’t give her a break - you plunge into her ruined and overstimulated pussy and break it some more until all she can do is drool mindlessly and blurt out cock, cock, cock on a lobotomised loop. 

Lumine is a demanding lover that needs a durable man to keep up with her. She’s a god, and you are to dick her like a god. Since her life is inconceivable in its span, she’s the definition of kinky - she has to be to keep herself entertained. Forget about having “normal” sex with her twice in a row as each day in Lumine’s bed is full of surprises. She might wake up in the morning feeling like slapping her strap on your face before assaulting your cute prostate with it, but end the day with her own panties shoved into her mouth as you relentlessly finger her over and over again as the puddle of cunt juice below grows bigger with each squirt. She might not go for long - you two have places to be and people to meet, don’t forget - but she slides her hand into your pants quite frequently, sometimes as many times as you can manage. Even if they are roughly three minutes at a time. 

Why? Busy life, Paimon. Travels, Paimon, meetings, Paimon, commissions, Paimon. Paimon, three times over. Even if she already knows that Lumine is what you might euphemistically call a perv, she often forgets that and gets dangerously close to walking in. It spoils the mood of course, but Lumine doesn’t take offence. Still, she’ll do her best to remind Paimon that certain rooms are off limits and that she shouldn’t tag along when you and her go off into some bushes or a closet. 

Actually, this constant lack of privacy and time made Lumine more willing to fuck than the opposite. It’s such a thrill to have you rummaging around her panties when there’s a party at her teapot, separated from you just by a thin wall. Of course, she loves when there’s an opportunity to make herself comfy on your lap as that means it’s clit rubbing time. There’s a reason her dress has special, hand-sized cuts around her waist area - it’s impossible to see from far away, but these slight “utility openings” can be easily accessed with the slightest of pressure. 

It’s also quite fun when she can mess with her friends, especially her female friends - some of them, at least. If they tease her, she’ll tease back and if enough sly glances and jokes with subliminal messages are exchanged, you might just have a pretty thing to team up on in the bedroom - that is, as long as they keep their hands off of you. See, while Lumine will eagerly encourage you to share your bed, she wants it to be nothing more than sex. Of course she trusts you and so on, but seeing them make the moves and climb on top of you while she isn’t around to hold your head on her lap or ride your face makes her jealous. No wonder - she doesn’t want any woman to steal your heart away now that you’ve become her private boytoy. But, as long as they behave and involve Lumine at all times, they’re welcome to taste your juicy fuckstick. 

Whatever role these guests play, Lumine’s sure to facilitate a steamy evening. Some women can keep up with her imagination and as such are welcome to torment you alongside her. Turns out Miko has a thing for edging - a perfect activity to go along with some oral teasing; you’ll choke on her fingers, shoved against your tongue and exploring your throat as Miko expertly zaps your frenulum, making you squeal so pathetically. Lisa on the other hand has a thing for boy pussies and can expertly juice your prostate and let the cum drip in bursts into Lumi’s waiting mouth. Yelan likes to bind her men as she fucks them, letting your golden haired sweetheart stroke your cheek and look you in the eyes as the agent goes wild on your cock. On the other hand, plenty of girls make for perfect playthings - breaking them into mindless sluts is always a fun way to spend the evening. With them Lumine will play the cockdoula, enhancing their experiences with taking cock until she sees conscious thoughts pour out through their ears.

Animal bits? Perfect targets to focus your attention on. Poor Ganyu - her horns are such an easy way to drastically decrease braincells, especially when - as she is devoured from beneath by your hungry tongue they are mercilessly rubbed by Lumine. Yanfei’s antlers meanwhile make for perfect handlebars to fuck you with her waiting face. Tails are fun to hold up, revealing asses and pussies as you pound them in doggy. What a shame Lumine lost her ability to shapeshift; it would be so much fun to let you take different throats and cunts for a spin. First thing she’s going to do when she gets that skill back? Showing you what a long, meaty, agile dragon tongue can do with a dick.

Her attitude towards guys is quite different now that you’re here. She is still very much attracted to them, that’s obvious, but having them accompany you feels off now. Monogamy was not in the cards for her for centuries now and she’s fairly tired of playing many flutes, so to speak. Lumine would like to get more familiar with you and only you for a change. However, if you really want to spitroast her with your bud - like Wriothesley, for example - she might think about letting you, but she makes no promises. 

Don’t worry, she’ll make it up to you. With so much experience under her belt it will only be a matter of time until you become hopelessly addicted to her pussy, ass, tongue and hands - especially them as Lumine can do wonders with her fingers, regardless where she uses them. She can instinctually find your breaking point and take you up to it and then, with a slow frenulum massage, force you to ride the edge for minutes on end. She’ll have lots of fun watching you gradually lose your mind to the pleasure, hearing you beg for her to speed up just a little bit and let you empty your balls. If you ask nicely, she may - but if Lumine is feeling especially cruel, she might order you to bend over a cup and milk you dry… Without letting you cum. The prostate really is a funny thing. She learned that it is responsible for storing the cum in preparation for the cumshot, meaning with a finger touching your cockhead and two fingers pressed down into your p-spot she can let through some Electro and force the cum out, droplet by droplet, until you’re exhausted, empty and most importantly - unsatisfied. Lumine knows that it’s a very hard time for you, but it certainly boosts your loyalty and need for her. There’s so much fun to be had when you’re impossibly horny, but just straight up shooting dust. She could get you to do anything, but she’s kind enough to not abuse her power in these moments. Sometimes. 

On the other hand, there are lots of times when she feels quite submissive. Being her is tiring and quite frustrating - she always has to be the knight of the story, not the damsel in distress. Never the gentle, delicate, helpless maiden in need of strong, male arms to rescue her… And of course in need of said arms to wrap themselves around her hips and break her pussy on your cock. Lumine likes to sprinkle in some roleplay to make things even spicier. For example, she’ll pretend to struggle with some monster just for you, brave, powerful, masculine you to swoop in for the rescue. What else she could do but kneel down, cup your balls and suck all the cum out of them as a reward? Sometimes she’ll be an insufferable brat all day, dropping hints as to what kind of punishment she wants for her insolence. Don’t be gentle - she can take everything you throw at her, and even if she breaks… Don’t you dare stop. Overstimulate her, spank her, fuck her sensless until what remains of her mind is pleasure-filled mush. 

As all tribes of Natlan, the Metzili praise fitness above all, with the unique element of focusing their culture around beaches, and consequently - beach bodies. Fat tits, rock hard muscles and juicy asses are a normal sight for anyone wandering the beaches, making a fine body something plentiful in the nation of fire. Among them is obviously Mualani, not at all bad-looking but painfully aware that she's quite far off from the feminine perfection of Mavuika. If there's anything she wants you to do, it's making her feel hot as the Unconquered Sun. 

Unlike other nations where the question of looks against personality is endlessly debated, Natlan makes no distinction between them - after all, in a healthy body, a healthy spirit! The unfortunate result of this is making raw, primal lust less notable as it becomes muddled in general attraction to a person. That's not what she wants! 

Mualani doesn't want you to tell her she's a nice, brave and kind person - she already knows this. She wants to hear your drool over her body, sink your teeth into her boobs and stare at her bouncy ass with no gentlemanly act. She wants to feel hot. She wants to feel desired. She wants to feel like a hot piece of ass for you to fuck when you're around. She doesn't dress so provocatively and tan eye-catching symbols into her body to seduce you with her personality! 

Her body belongs to you, so make her happy and take up that offer. Be open and shameless, thirst for her at all times. Passing by? Give her ass a nice, appreciative slap and watch the fat jiggle - doesn't it just beg to be spread open and fucked? When you're making small talk and you seem to be too focused on her eyes, Mualani will be quick to remind you that her titties are down here, specifically to be ogled at your leisure. She's not just bending over, she's presenting her camel toe just to see that smirk on your face, shortly followed by a distinct bulge in your trunks. That's what she likes to see - her effect on you. 

Don't hesitate to give her a few of those crass compliments too - she knows that being reduced to a walking set of holes by your one and only from time to time is both good and correct. Squish her juicy ass cheek when she's leaning into you, stroke her thigh, slide a hand down her panties, for no other reason than you just feel like it. Whisper things into her ear in the middle of a tour break - how you're gonna toss her around a bit, rough her up, skewer her with your juicy fuckstick. Sure, it might be a bit cringe when you think about it later, but Mualani assures you - childish neologisms are not what's going through her mind with a possessive hand on her tit and pure, lovely filth pouring into her ears.

After all, every woman objectifies her man more than society would lead you to believe. Mualani here is a fine and proud example - if you let her, she'll call you her stud, stallion or bull any day, all apt names for a guy armed with such a bitchbreaker. Actually, you don't need to be as big as a wardrobe and carry a lethal instrument between your legs for her to call you that. Imagination and suggestion is just as important as size. Also, how could she hope to recall how many inches you were packing when her brain was busy being fucked stupid? Regardless, her thirst is enough to make you a proud trophy of a man to show off and be claimed by. 

Mualani is a physical girl that thrives on touch, especially the possessive kind. Knowing that she belongs to a man she loves, trusts and desires gives her endless confidence - so don't hesitate to bring her closer, wrap your strong arms around her waist and give her butt a nice squeeze - show everybody around that she's yours, and both her heart and her holes will be yours forever. 

But don't forget to be rough with her - after all, what's a bark good for if no bite follows? Throw her over your shoulder and carry her off for a thorough plowing while she's giggling giddily and kicking her legs, squealing with joy like an overzealous fangirl. Throw her down, pick her up, pull her hair, push her down while you pump the daily portion of baby batter down whichever tight hole you feel like using. Do spank her - hard - if she misbehaves, or just for the crime of being the sexiest woman in Natlan and let the bruise be a reminder of who exactly gets to fuck her each night. Can she, the petite girl, do anything to stop such a stud from bullying her into the mattress? Never. Does she want to change this status quo? Absolutely fucking not! 

Oh, woe is her! If only she could somehow clone you and just go with the flow… Be passed around like a blunt and reduced to taking, stroking and sucking on the loveliest cock in Teyvat times three… Five… Ten… To be so stuffed with milky goodness of her man that her tanned belly bloats up, cum constantly gushing from her holes, likely never to return to their original sizes… Hold on, maybe if she could get some rare books for Citlali…

The only thing that's a big turn off for Mualani is the whole spiel about affirmative consent. She enjoys when things go just as smoothly as your cock glides into her wet cunny, when you can read the simplest of clues and body language without this abstract need to blatantly say “Excuse me, do you consent to this sexual act?”. It spoils the mood worse than actually doing something she doesn't like. It feels like you're not trusting her, like you're hesitating, doubting yourself or chickening out. Don't beat around the pussy, just observe her and follow what your lower head tells you - if she doesn't like something, she has the capability of speech and will tell you like the adult she is. If you're struggling, all you have to do is ask and she'll guide you through the steps. 

Her dislike for the kind of formality movie directors from Fontaine want also applies to situations outside the bedroom. All these naughty things she explicitly said she wants you to do are allowed, and she shouldn't need to remind you of it every time. What, are these philosophers from Fontaine gonna force you to get explicit consent before something as simple as a spank or a whistle? Can you imagine handing her a questionnaire each time you want to call her a hot bitch? Maybe they'll want you to get a form, sign it and get a stamp from the Fontainian Committee of Ethics each time you want to hoist her up and carry her off backstage? She's a consenting adult, damn it, and no egghead will tell her or her man how you should go about boning each other!

Obviously, good trophy sluts like her deserve treats. When it comes to Mualani, the treat is cock and balls - simple as. Dick, jewels, shaft, orbs, rod, fuckstick, the bitchbreaker with two fat nuts dangling below that hides in your boxers. The only thing she needs to be happy is free access to this proof of a benevolent creator. It's something of an addiction - Mualani could have you plop yourself on her face and rest your sweaty package for hours on end as she works her lips and tongue to give it the spitshine it deserves. She'll never get tired of fondling your balls while you just sit back and relax. Why wouldn't she? They're nice, soft, cool, perfectly designed for a girl's palm… There's no such feelings as holding her future children in her fingers, stored with the male essence while reverently kissing the man that will inevitably empty them inside her waiting cunt. 

Being born and raised amongst hot, sweaty boys, Mualani has something of a fixation on everything smelly and sloppy. Not just cum, mind you - spit, sweat, precum and cockjuice are all first class treats to this surfer gal. Is dragging her tongue all over your shaved, sweaty armpits dirty? Is sliding her hand into your pants, dragging her finger around your cockhead and bringing her finger up to her nose nasty? Or is nuzzling her face into your bush of pubic hair, stuck together by a mix of dense cum and smelly squirt filthy? Of course - that's the point! The smell, taste and texture of a man drives her senses crazy and just begs her to dive in headfirst. 

Speaking of, do forget to shave. Mualani is a big fan of bushy, smelly man hair that she can comb her fingers through and bury her nose in. It keeps the sweat for longer and clumps together with other juices, making a perfect little patch of filth to rub herself against. Pubes getting on her tongue? Whoever cares, it's certainly not this girl. 

In terms of her own carpet, she likes to go for a trimmed little bush above her clit. Unfortunately, pussies aren't as suited to sucking on as cocks are, so the hair is much more of an issue. There's also health stuff and so on. But, if you wanna, you can still get a nice sniff off - you'll like it, Umoja’s promise! 

Getting dirty is her favourite thing. Sure, vaginal is cool, but have you ever licked your own squirt off your boy's cock? Or used a mixed of cum, spit, precum and squirt to lube up your ass for some hardcore backbreaking? These girls who never slapped a sweaty cock on their cute face just don't know what they're missing. Mualani is fixated on all this to the point where an orgasm from simple sex is less fulfilling than fingerblasting herself with your cum stained boxers on her face. 

She's not a fan of swallowing. Not because it's not hot or delicious - yes on both counts here - but because there's so much to do with it. She could rub it across her face, finger herself with it or use it as the only lube for an anal punishment of a lifetime. At the very least she makes sure to do a proper show of eating it - usually straight off your cock or, if she's feeling fancy, your stomach, chest, abs or asshole. 

Thanks for reading!

[cancel-me-daddy]

The older sibling trope is shitty and lazy, and there is no excuse for it to be this prevalent in 2025, point blank period.

This has been coming for some time, it was really just a matter of when the next time this stereotype shows up and ruins/turns me off from something before I put up this rant.

The Elbaph arc of One Piece has just become my least favorite arc in the series, and has ruined Shanks for me.

As if it wasn't bad enough how obvious it is that Loki is gonna turn out to be the good guy (writing this on May 5th 2025, I am on chapter 1140. Loki being the youngest gave it away.) and it's gonna be like Bruno from Encanto or something, but now Shanks has an evil older twin out of nowhere and this cool character is ruined.

Constantly making the older sibling in media evil and making the younger sibling the underdog/odd one out is such a dull overdone trope.

I have had a huge problem with it for years because it completely alienates me and invalidates me and the fact that I'm the only one who even notices or cares about this just adds to it. Like, I am actually mad when I see this.

In media, the older sibling can either be evil or a prissy overachiever who follows the rules (or both) and that is it. This is not fair and when it's the only thing you're shown throughout art and media it has an effect on real life.

And yeah, there are definitely more important/pressing issues than this but I can still be mad about this while also caring about more important stuff.

This is very personal to me because growing up, I was a complete inverse of this stereotype. I am the oldest of my siblings, and when we were kids I was the one getting mistreated. I was an undiagnosed neurodivergent child and grew up with a neurotypical and perfect younger sister.

My issues with this trope falls on deaf ears CONSTANTLY and I'm sick of it so l'm sorry but I have to bring up old family stuff. We’re good now and as long as that’s over I have nothing against them. But okay; I'm the oldest. I'M the one who was bullied. I'M the one who was "weird." I was the black sheep. I'M the one who did poorly in school. I'M the one who got the "why can't you be more like your sister?" talk. IT IS NOT FAIR.

It's like writers don't think older siblings are going to be watching or reading anything. We were all kids at one point. We were the same age our younger siblings are now and it's not okay to teach us that we're some horrible monster or a lame NPC for being conceived first.

Of course there are going to be situations where this stereotype really does happen. People exist. There are mean older sisters and brothers. But the fact that I can conjure up this giant ass list (80 examples as now) while I can count the number of good older sibling characters on one hand is fucking appalling. At this point they are really just demonizing older siblings and ass kissing younger siblings because we fetishize the shit out of youth.

Movies and books are supposed to be my escape from real life. It's really harmful that even my escapes tell me l'm not valid and there's no room for me in stories because I'm supposed to be the big bad evil one or the "obey your parents" prissy wet blanket while the younger sibling is always the good, rebellious cool one.

And I get why; younger = less life experience = underdog = root for the underdog. That mixed in with everyone’s subconscious younger = better. I know the reason but like?? It’s not a good reason? It should be defied and challenged once in a while.

This trope is lazy. Like flat out. There are better ways to write an underdog than this. We all know deep down that younger means better. It doesn't work. 

Being younger means you have less experience so of course an older sibling will be better than you at some stuff. It doesn't make for a good "oooo poor lil underdog" story. Imagine being the oldest AND having your younger siblings be better than you at everything and finding success faster than you. It would get the underdog message across even moreso, and that would be a way worse position to be in. Almost no piece of media has ever explored this.

Also if an older sibling is jealous of a younger sibling, they must be wicked and cruel. But if a younger sibling is jealous of an older sibling, we're supposed to feel sorry for them.

I have actually refused to watch shows or movies because of this. It makes me genuinely mad. Especially when I’m so far along in a series or if I have a strong love for a franchise just for it to pull this.

And it wouldn’t be making me this mad if people at least knew it as a trope. Like if it became as much of a thing as the middle child being invisible and people just recognized it as a trope it wouldn't piss me off this much. If it became an eye roll ‘oop here we go again’ that the audience groans about it wouldn't have driven me to this.

But the fact that I have EIGHTY AND COUNTING examples so clearly authors are doing it with intent and are consciously aware and it still falls on deaf ears where everyone I mention it to is all ‘huh what are you talking about?’ or change the subject or try their absolute hardest NOT to understand is what makes me want to scream. Like, FUCKING 80+!!! There has got to be some real intent behind this and when I call it out no one understands or wants to.

Fiction does have an impact on reality. Constantly putting firtborns under this light affects the way firsborns are treated in real life.

Their struggles aren't taken as seriously, people are quick to side with the younger sibling when there is conflict no matter what, and they'll be considered a failure or a loser if they can't live up to the 'perfection responsible leader' role they never signed up for.

Of all the media I've consumed, I could only find 5 positive examples of good older sibling characters that defy the stereotype in some way (13 if I'm being extremely generous)

To have just 5 - 13 well written good older siblings and over 80 bad ones, that's not okay.

If everything in my life was exactly the same but I was the youngest instead, if I was still the lonely fuckup black sheep who was bullied but I was younger, I would have been able to feel heard and have dozens of characters to relate to. But instead I'm isolated and invalidated even more and can neither have the cake or eat it.

No one ever talks about this, and when I try to everyone will cover their ears and change the subject or misunderstand it.

I’m probably going to blaze this because I will be heard. This current One Piece arc has deeply upset me and I already dedicated so much time and money to the series. Even if I have to keep shouting and posting about this over and over, I will be heard. 

I will delete comments that trivialize, invalidate, miss the point, say something like “technically (insert character) isn’t evil,” or otherwise miss the forest for the trees. I will be heard no matter how many times it takes.

[artsninspo]

Penname: Delta Wise -II- [Sinners]

「 ✦ mbj's charcter archive✦ 」

「 ✦ full library & archive ✦ 」

⇠ previous part

authors note: back by popular demand, heres a part two - hope you enjoy.

summary: 'Knotty' James owns an apothecary by day, by night she's a bestselling author who writes supernatural black novels under the name. Delta Wise. It's her deepest secret but secrets don't last for the living.

word-count: 2.2K

TWO

Knotty

My nerves are shot. I know faith should become me but it's hard when the subject of nightmares walks into your place of business. The knowing gnaws at my chest, Stack and Mary showing themselves and Carmen discovering my secret in the same week is too much. I should have known better than to publish the story that I did. I should’ve been smarter than to think I wouldn’t be found out. I took all of Merin’s advice and have spent the past few days at the cemetery pouring out libations onto the soil that holds Granny’s remains. If she were here she would know what to do. I feel just as lost without her as I did at fifteen. I look at my reflection as I stand in my bathroom trying to muster enough courage to step out of my house at dusk. My hands tremble and  I clench my fists before releasing them. All good sense says stay in but I know Carmen’s support system does not exist. Her world is full of competition, women that hate her for her natural magnetism and men that want to sleep with her. I think Granny saw her Mama Pearline in Carmen although she never said it in those words. In granny’s retelling of her momma; Pearline was always curious and that made her wayward. Those were the same words she always used for Carmen. Granny’s words hold so much more weight now she isn't here to explain them. 

Taking a deep breath I nod at my reflection, willing myself to stand. All necessary precautions have been taken to ensure my safety should I see Stack. I head into my garage and then into my car before backing out. I’m stopped by my father’s car as the garage opens. He steps out and I put the car in park, weary of everything now. Relief washes over me when he walks into the garage without invitation.

“You never go out at night,” he says.

“Carmen wanted me to come to the studio” I tell him and he scoffs like everyone does at Carmen.

“Knotty, I don't think you should keep Carmen’s company. People might make the mistake of thinking you're like her” Dad says and I roll my eyes. 

“What brings you here?” I ask to closing the garage and heading back inside with him. He follows behind me, I send Carmen a text telling her I’m going to be late.

“I can't visit my daughter?” he asks.

“Time is money, you bill by the hour” I say reciting his mantra, one heard too often as a child and he nods.

“I need you to be my gold partner tomorrow, I got a last minute invitation,” he says.

“None of your associates or mentees are available?” I ask and he winces. He’s a good man and I know my dad loves me but we’ve never been close. His love for his career is only superseded by his love for my mom. I probably make the top five of his priorities somewhere under his reputation and his finances.

“It’s only for family, we’re fundraising to reclaim land in the southern states and lobbying for prison reform and the use of  slave labour” he says but I’m not naive enough to think that’s all there is to it.

“What’s the catch?” I ask skeptically and it makes him smile. He likes me most when he can see himself in me. I would’ve made a great lawyer, me not pursuing a traditional career caused the fault line between us to fracture creating a distance that’s never been remedied.

“No catch, just come, golf and charm everyone” he says.

“What time?”

“9 am” he says and I sigh. I know it's important if he’s made the trip. We both know I wouldn't have picked up otherwise.

“Ok did Ma pick out an outfit and send it with you?” I ask knowing how it works. “Will mom be there?” I ask hoping for a buffer.

“She will be, but not on the green with us. She did pick you out a few options they're in the car.” He says.

“Okay, I’m gonna go support Carmen. Text me the details and I’ll see you tomorrow” I smile.

“Knotty” he calls as we head back out. I raise a brow.

“Thank you” he says and I nod.

“No problem” I nod.

The rest of the night is spent in a dark studio with Carmen as she shows off her innovative ideas and unique vocal range. But the more I hear her sing, the more I think of the original Pearline and Sammie and what they’re voices summoned. It unnerves me so much I sleep in the studio not daring to go outside. Carmen is happy for my presence and continues working through the night. I don't leave until sunrise. When I arrive at home I take a cat nap before getting into the shower. I fashion my hair into an updo that’s suitable for the company I’m going to keep today as well as the sports I'm going to play. I see my mother has left nothing to chance even down to the sun protection in the visors, hats and glasses. I leave the house taking the scenic route to the country club and where I have my pass scanned. I drive up to the main entrance and get my things before handing the valet my keys. I walk through the country club and ignore all the looks from men my fathers age hoping I’m willing to exchange my time for some quick cash. I know where to find my mother. She’s in the ballroom with her interior design hat on rearranging the florals.

“Knotty” she beams at the sight of me.

“Hey,”

“You look great and you are so going to love today” she winks. My mother is one of those women who doesnt age. A husband that’s utterly devoted to her and the freedom to live life on her own terms has made her light as a cloud. I’ve always felt her love for me. In mom’s list of priorities I’m top two. “You smell divine” she beams, letting me go.

“One of my blends”

“Oooh, make me one. I was just talking to the girls and I think we should collaborate on bachelorette events. I mean a perfume workshop is an excellent bridal shower experience” Ma tells me and I smile.

“That’s what I’ll tell everyone today when I’m asked what I do a million times” I smile sarcastically, making her laugh.

“Your dad should be by the beginning of the course, call me if you need anything” she says and I leave her to her work crossing the room where I find a shuttle. The boys shuffle into place fearing I have horns and will write them up. I tip them generously and feel my mojo bag tucked into my chest. It's no surprise, my father’s counterparts are not the most genuine people. My least favorite one emerges and I’m amused at how tuned into my environment I am.

“Knotty” Jester smiles, holding out open arms for me.

“Jester, how are you, dad?” I smile ignoring the invitation for a hug.

“I’m good, baby girl,” he smiles. “You look nice,” he nods.

“You too,” I tell him. “I’m going to get a cup of tea before we start,” I tell him.

That’s exactly where I am and what I’m doing when I see him. Stack in daylight shaking hands with my father who is beaming at him. I drop my teacup and the china shatters causing a spectacle. The scream is stuck in my throat as Stack pauses from going to speak into my fathers ear.

“Are you burned?” One of the staff says, taking my hands and forcing me to look down.

“I’m fine” I ask as my heart races.

“I told them it was too hot, did you burn your tongue?” she asks and my hands shake again. I ball fists again to stop the shaking.

“It’s my fault, your staff is fine” I swallow bending but I’m already being handed a towel. My shoes are being wiped.

“She doesn't like being touched by strangers” I hear my father say and when I look up he’s alright. He reaches for me and I take his living hand. He gets a towel wiping the tea from my legs.

“Are you alright?” he asks.

“Yeah” I nod.

“Daddy, who was that?” I whisper and he fights back a smile, thoroughly amused.

“You don't recognize him?” he asks, walking me away from the mess.

“No, how do you know him?” I ask curiously and daddy smiles some more, wiping my hands off for me.

“That’s Eli,” he says. I squint searching for understanding.

“Remember that summer we went to Mississippi for your granny’s history lesson?” Dad asks just as it comes to me. I look over my father’s shoulder to “Eli” and get goosebumps. 

“Yeah” I nod.

“Remember the hotel worker who was spending the summer there that you liked so much? That’s him - his uncle is one of the project’s chairmen.” Daddy says, knocking the wind out of me. The Eli I remember was just a teenage boy with infinite patience for my neverending questions. He had no facial hair, nor was he built like a grown ass man. I search my memory trying to match up the features of the past to Stack. Eli, I hold the name close to me feeling queasy.

“Dad, I’m gonna go to the ladies room to clean myself up” I announce with a quick smile. I cast another look over my shoulder and find Eli looking at me from across the room with concern in his very human eyes. Human eyes of a boy I knew as a child while he was a teen. I was one of those old soul children that could only take so much kid time with certain people. I was an easy target too, especially among my cousins. My innocence made me gullible and gullible led to trouble. So by the time I was seven and Granny took us to Mississippi I stuck to her like glue. We had a house rental kind of like a hotel, and from what I remember the whole gang was present. One of the boy cousins, I don't remember which one,  told me if I wanted to make my grandma happy I’d go in the river and find a pearl. It’d show her her mom was all around her. Innocence and hubris had me separated from the group and in the river in the middle of the day.

Only to be hauled out of the water in one motion and placed on dry land by a very unimpressed Eli. When I turned my cousins were looking terrified and the shadow being cast on me was large. He was a giant to me then.

“Fucks wrong with yall!” He snapped cursing. My fingers went in my ears and I don’t know what else he said but I know that the boys went running to tuck tail. My hands were taken from my ears and a serious expression of a teenage boy came into view.

“There are gators in the water and other stuff. Don’t be out here alone and don’t go in the water, it’s filthy” he scolded.

“I was searching for pearls for my granny,” I explained.

“She’d rather buy ‘em then know you went missing looking for ‘em” he said looking me over in disapproval. “You’re probably covered in leeches,” he added, shaking  his head and taking my hand.

“Where are you staying?” he asked.

“Over there” I pointed.

“Didn’t your mama tell you not to talk to strangers?” he asked and I shrugged in both irritation and defeat.

“Oops” I muttered, feeling small. But there was nothing else to say as he walked me back to the house. My parents and granny thanked him profusely. I wasn’t covered in leeches but there was more than one. I had learned my lesson. For the rest of the trip I bugged Eli mercilessly every time I saw him, so much so that it was a running joke that I had a crush on him. Only Eli was too decent to tell me to kick rocks so he put up with it. I pass from memory to the present as I try to make sense of my reality. Granny told me stories like this as a kid. That there was no such thing as doppelgangers - only separated twins. Twins not always meaning two, just those who’d shared the same womb during gestation. If death found one twin and the other lived longer than a natural life cycle the deceased twin would be reborn to give their souls another opportunity to find each other again. So I know what he is - Eli the boy turned man who looks exactly like the Vampire keeping me indoors at night. They say twins are one of nature's greatest natural phenomenons. Mirrors that don't need reflections - souls that entered this world with their mates. Because blood has always been stronger than love and those who share the same time in a womb should also end up in the same tomb.

_______

As always let me know your thoughts and if you enjoyed it. Dont forget to reblog, tag like, and comment. I also love your predictions so feel free to send them in if you have any.

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[demons2003]

What Was Left Unsaid (Batman/Bruce Wayne x Reader)

Description: Bruce has many secrets, ones that he has always shared with you. But what happens that be was hiding the fact that your newest and youngest child that's been living with you for months is accually his child. One that should exist because of your own relationship.

Warnings: mentions (offscreen) of rape and drugging. Heartbreak.

"Tell me you are joking," I ask Bruce as we walk through our front door.

"You know I don't really joke," He says as he moves to take off my coat, my heart racing.

"Why didn't you tell me about this before you brought him into our home? You have a biological son!" I exclaim, moving out of his reach. He drops his hands in defeat and puts them in his pockets.

"I don't know." He says, turning away from me.

"Bruce, we have to talk about this," I say, moving after him. He ignores me and continues up the stairs. "Bruce, please," I plead again, but he ignores me. 'He has a 10 year old son. A son that isn't mine, even though we have been together since before we adopted Dick!'

As we both walk up the stairs, the boys all seem to come out of their rooms to find out what we are yelling about. "What's going on?" Jason asks us, seeming to square up a little towards Bruce.

"Nothing Jas, go back to whatever you were doing," I kindly say, pushing Bruce towards his office.

"You've been yelling since you walked in the door. Something is going on." Dick sasses, crocking a brow at us both.

"This is between us boys." Bruce snaps and turns around, heading into his office.

Before I can do the same, Tim grabs onto my hand. "You ok mum? You look like you've been crying." He whispers, looking at me with concern.

I smile at him and shake my head. "Yeah, Timmy, I'm ok. Just some adult things we gotta talk about." I whisper, taking my hand out of his and walking into the office, locking the door behind me.

I stand there for a second, trying to collect my thoughts. Bruce sits at his desk quietly as well, seeming to wait for me to speak first.

"Please tell me this is all a sick prank, and you aren't really the dad Bruce?" I ask him quietly, not moving from my spot at the door.

"I checked. He's mine." He says. I laugh a little and look up to try to stop the tears from falling.

"How? Bruce, we've been together for 15 years? If you have a 10 year old son...." I choke out, not wanting to say the words, but I know I have to. "....Then you cheated on me." I finally say, my chest tightening as the words leave my mouth.

"I honestly thought it was a dream," he whispers, which gets me to face him again. He's leaning on his desk, head in his hands, shaking his head like he doesn't believe it either.

"So you had a dream about cheating on me? That doesn't make me feel much better, Bruce. We tell each other everything? Why not this?" I question, finally stepping away from the door and sitting in the chair across from him. But he doesn't say anything.

He just leans on his desk, staring at the wood like it holds all the answers. His hands grip his hair so tight that his knuckles are turning white. He seems like he goes to say something a few times, but nothing ever comes out. But I wait. Wait for him to tell me something. An explanation. An excuse. Something. But nothing ever leaves his mouth.

"You gotta tell me something, Bruce. He's been living in our house!" I exclaim, my voice breaking. "I'm falling apart here, I need you to say something."

Finally, his lifts his eyes to mine. Eyes that I am bearly reconising right now. He's always shows his emotions in his eyes but never these. He's always been the strong one out of the two of us, but he seems broken right now, just like how I feel. But it doesn't answer what's going on right now.

"I didn't know how to tell you. I couldn't leave him on the street. I didn't know how to explain. I couldn't remember it well. It wasn't.." he trails off, looking away from me again.

"It wasn't what?!" I exclaim, standing as my anger starts to rise again. "It wasn't serious? It wasn't recent? It wasn't consensual?"

As the words leave my mouth, I watch as Bruce flitches just a little. He looks up at me, eyes broken before they shift. Instead of my Bruce, I have Batman sitting in front of me. Emotionless. Cold. He shut down on me.

"I don't know what you want me to say." He says, eyes not moving from mine.

"That's not good enough, Bruce." I whisper. Taking a step back. "I don't like what you've become." I say, shaking my head and backing further from the desk. "You were supposed to be mine. For fifteen years, you were mine. But now there's this.... reminder of someone else. A child that wasn't with me."

"It wasn't like that," He says.

"Then tell me what it was like, Bruce! Tell me why you did this to me?!" I snap at him, needing something that could ground me. But he just stares back down at the desk. The same expression on his face, like the wood holds all the answers. Answers he can't let me in on.

My heart shatters as I watch him staring, not moving at all, brarely even breathing. "I can't do this anymore." I whisper, moving towards the door. "I need some time to myself. To think. To consider....." I turn fully around and unlock the door, my hands shaking so bad that I need to use  both. "Tell the boys I love them." I say without looking back at him.

"Don't follow me." I whisper before barging out of the door. All four boys are crowded near the door, seeming to be waiting for us.

They all look towards me as the door opens, but I just walk straight past them without a word. They all try to talk to me, but I can't say anything, needing to just get out of this house.

Away from all the problems. Away from the man that I love, trusted. But he can't seem to give me any words to make me want to stay.

In the Office

I can't move. I can't think. She's gone, and she took my heart with her. Everything runs through my head over and over, but nothing will change what I did. Or what I didn't do.

When she closes the door behind her, I don't move. Not even when her footsteps fade down the hall and the front door slams shut behind her. I just stay at the desk, stay hunched over, and stare at the wood. The silence is worse without her in it.

I could still run after her. Tell her what really happened. That Talia drugged me and took advantage of my state. But I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can see the look she might give me afterwards.

I won't be able to handle telling her that I started remembering everything that happened, but I didn't do a thing to stop it. I couldn't do anything. But it just makes me feel worse.

I lean more forward and press the palm of my hands into my eyes, trying to regain my control. Trying to even out my breath. Slow, controlled, hollow. But the door swings open before I can get too far.

"Okay, what the hell is going on!" Jasons voice rings out as he walks in. "Did you cheat on Mum? You screwed around on her?"

"Just leave it alone, boy," I say, trying to stay calm, not lifting my head to look at him.

"She was crying, Bruce, crying over you. She never cries," Dicks desperate voice rings out next.

Without even looking up, I can image the two of them, standing in the doorway, arms crossed and glaring at me. At least I know she's protected if I won't be around anymore.

Tim's worried voice comes out next, the worry bleeding into his tone, "She said it was just adult stuff. But that wasnt just any fight."

"I said leave it!" I growl at them and look up to find Damian also in the room. Silent and brooding but watching me like he was trying to solve a riddle.

"No, you leave it!" Jason snaps, stepping closer to me. "You broke her! What the hell went down in here!"

"Get. Out. All of you." I snap at them, anger burning my eyes. That seems to freeze them all.

Jason steps back a little and Dick sighs. "Come on. He's not going to talk. Not now." He whispers, ushering them all out.

Tim hesitates as he looks me in the eyes to say, "She doesn't just leave, you know that. Not without a reason." Then he's gone. The door clicking shut behind him.

And for the first time in fifteen years I feel completely and utterly alone.

Hotel Somewhere, Few Days Later

The hotel room that I've checked into is alright. Somewhere that people won't look for me. But that didn't stop everyone from trying to contact me.

Over the past 2 days I've been getting texts and calls none stop. 26 missed calls and 43 messages. Most are from Tim and Dick, some are from Alfred and even one call from Jason. But none are from Bruce. However, the last one from Tim is what catches my eye.

Tim: Please mum, just let us know that you're safe. We don't need to know where you are. Just let us know you're ok. We're all worried.

I don't know what to do. I know that I should do something, but I can't get myself to move in order to call them.

If I tell them I'm ok, I'd be lying. Physically, I'm ok, but I still can't get over it. He hurt me. He brought a child into my home, one I've grown to love, only to find out that's he's his biological child. That he knew all along.

I finally go to call Tim when there's a sharp knock at the door. I tense as I wait. No one should know where I am. Another knock rings out. This one is more rapid.

I slowly get up from the bed and move to the door, looking through the peep-hole, as the door explodes into me. I scream on impact and try to cover myself as best I can.

Smoke fills the room as heavy steps echo in the small room. I groan as I push the door off me, looking up to see blurry figures advancing towards me.

I go to attack when I feel a sharp pain in my neck, something entering my bloodstream. My body goes numb as I sink to the ground, the world slowly going black as I notice a symbol on one of the figures' arms.

H.I.V.E.

Batcave, Hours Later

I haven't been sleeping. Every time I close my eyes, I see her heartbroken eyes. So I've been spending my time in the cave. Scanning throughevery CCTV traffic cams, just for a glimpse that she is ok.

Even with all of Gothm's data at my fingertips though, I can't find a single thing with her in it. But she's Batwoman. She knows how to stay in the shadows.

"She hasnt used her card. No GPS pings. There is no sign of her car. No one's seen or heard from her since she left." Alfred says from behind me.

"She's hiding from me." I say.

I feel Alfred step closer and watch him as he crosses his arms. "Or something has happened to her."

"She just needed some space, that's all." I explain, moving to another camera.

"You've had fights before Bruce. She never leaves like this. Or she at least tell me where she is going. Always answers the boys' texts." Alfred's voice hardens as he continues. "If this was anyone else missing, you'd already have every single person out in the field looking for them."

I sigh and fully look at him. "I know. But I don't know what to do."

He studies me for a second, this eyes softening a little. "Then go out and look for her." He says, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I nod and finally get out of the chair, moving towards the Batmobile. "Bring up traffic cams feeds from hotels located near lower Gotham. Run facial recognition against every check-in desk. I'll start looking out there." I tell him, opening the door to the car.

Before we can get too far, Tim's voice crackles over the cams. "Bruce. I was investigating some chatter that I had been picking up from a H.I.V.E. operative that I was tracking. He was told that Mrs Wayne was delivered. I think they took mum."

I freeze for a minute, trying to let the words sink in. Then I snap, "I want every file that we have on H.I.V.E. pulled up. Now."

Underground Cell

I feel like I've been run over. My head is pounding, my mouth feels dry, and there's a soft ringing in my ear.

I try to move but my arm doesn't move. I shake and hear the distinct sound of metal hitting metal. 'Great. My hand is handcuffed to a chair.'

I open my eyes to see if I can work out where I might be but the room in bland. It's dark beside the light above me that is flashing slowly on and off. I scan the room to find a camera set up, pointing directly at me, a woman standing right next to it smiling.

"I was wondering when you'd finally wake up," she says, slowly starting to work towards me. Her heels click on the concrete floor as she moves closer.

I look her over, and she looks like most other H.I.V.E. operatives. She's tall and blonde but holds herself upright, almost like she's a force to be reckond with. She continues to smile at me, but it's cold and scary. I wanna be anywhere but here.

"You're quite valuable,  you know?" She asks, wiping something off of my face. I try to move away from her, but she just grips my chin. "Not just as Bruce Wayne's wife, but as someone that Batman truly wants to protect."

"I won't help you," I snap at her, trying to get out of her grasp, but she's holding on tight.

"Oh honey," she whispers, moving in closer to my ear. "You already are. Just by existing he has a weaken."

She moves back and lifts the tablet for me to see. On the screen in a paused video of me and Bruce as Batman, kissing on a rooftop. A time we thought was completely alone.

"This connection? That's leverage. And leverage gets results." She smiles and leans in close to whisper, "You are gonna help me make him bleed."

Batcave, Few Days Later

"They still have her in Gotham," I explain to everyone as a pace in front of a large holoscreen. "The H.I.V.E. facility that's she's in is underground. Most likely located in the East End industrial sector."

Everyone is looking at me worried but still focused. "They moved fast," Tim speaks up from the computer. He hasn't been able to leave it since she was taken, and it's showing. "Scrambled cams as they drove. Disguised the entries. But I did find a residual trace of heat signatures near an abandoned meatpacking plant. There are old tunnels under it."

"Classic villain move. Take the one person he can't afford to use and bury her underground." Jason mutters, his hands balling into fists.

"Then we dig them out," Damian snaps.

Dick frowns suddenly and sits forward as he says, "We don't even know what they want. If they have already made contact..."

"They haven't," I cut in, looking over at him. "They won't until they think they've broken her."

The boys are all silent for a moment. Thinking what none of us want to accually say. What if it's already too late. Jason steps forward to say, "Then lets move before they even get the chance."

"I'll be going in first." I tell them, leaving them no room to argue back. "You four will flank. We come in from all angles, give them nowhere to escape. These places are like hornets nests. One wrong move, and we trigger a swarm."

Tim swipes through some blueprints and brings one up for us all to see. "The tunnels are unstable. But there is a ventilation shift around this area. It's a tight fit, but it will lead directly to where they might be holding mum." I look at the screen to see if there's something that we might have missed, but the plan is solid.

I look over at the boys as Tim whispers, "If they've hurt her.."

Damian buts in and snaps, "They won't get the chance to do it again."

Underground Cell

My heart hammers in my chest as I look around me again. They have a guard on the other side of the glass, but he always turns around after watching me for a while. The perfect amount of time to escape.

I feel the chair and finally pull off a price of metal to help with my escape.  But then I just wait. The guard looks at me before finally looking away.

I bend the metal in my hand and jam it into the lock. I move it around until I hear a soft click. One down, one to go.

I stay in that potion, not wanting to catch his attention before shoving the metal into the other lock. I struggle to get this one open, but just as I do, the door swings open.

The blonde walks through with two guards behind her. "Well, well. Aren't you clever one." Shs mocks at me.

Without a second thought, I lunge at her. But the guards are faster. I manage to hit one of them, but before I can turn to the other, he stabs a taser into my side.

Pain shots through my body, everything freezing up. I scream through the pain and drop to the floor when he steps away.

The blonde moves in front of me and grabs my chin to force me to look at her. "I was going to wait for your precious Dark Knight to show up before I did anything. But after this stunt?" Her smile turns from 'nice' to cruel in a moment. "I think we should speed things up."

She slaps me in the face and gets up, moving to the camera. The guard lifts me by the collar and faces me to the camera, the red light mocking me as it slowly blinks.

Part 2

[tea-cat-arts]

tbhx omegaverse headcanon (might delete later idk)

Ground rule/ what brand of omegaverse are we working with: 

Omega

experiences heats (effects of which vary depending on circumstances and the individual)

has scent glands and can detect/respond to other scents

builds nests (comfy pile with stuff that smells good + has stuff with their packs scents in them. They're a designated safe spot and important in maintaining an omega’s mental health)

Can form both pack and mating bonds. 

On average, omegas smell sweeter. 

All omegas self lubricate and can take knots relatively easily

Stereotyped as agreeable

Alphas

Experiences ruts (effects of which vary depending on circumstances and the individual)

Has scent glands and can detect/respond to other scents

Territorial/ tends to guard anyone or anything they scent mark as theirs 

Can form mating and pack bonds 

On average, tend to have more intense smells

All alphas can knot 

Public tends to view them as either the cool guy orientation or a rabid animal 

Tend to be stereotyped as aggressive (and how that's perceived really depends on whether or not the alpha can stay calm while being aggressive)

Beta

Doesn't experience heats or ruts

Scents glands are small if they have any at all 

Can detect scents if its something they actively work on, but they won't have any sort of instinctual reaction to them 

Can't form mating bonds, can form pack bonds

Tend to be (unfairly) viewed as untrustworthy 

Despite the bad rep, they're vital in fields where you have to heavily interact with people (especially in the medical field since their muted scents make them less likely to trigger others) 

Secondary sex is more of a behavioral thing and can change over time

Ngl, I haven't decided how genitalia works in this au

Trust value/ public perception can change someone's secondary sex

By default, 80% of the population would be betas. However, trust values skewed those numbers and caused most people who would be betas naturally to develop another secondary sex (leaving more like 10-20% of the population as betas)

Despite how much value society puts on scents, most people have to wear scent patches/mufflers (or in more extreme circumstances, blockers) for society to function. Like, you can’t have 100 alphas accidentally marking the same lamp post as their spot

Scent blockers can be necessary (ex: in medical settings where a doctor's scent could trigger a patient) but should only be used over short periods as they seal off the pores in the scent glands and overuse can cause oils to build up and lead to infection 

Scent glands are on the wrists and neck. The wrist ones are considered a casual spot but the neck ones are considered incredibly intimate 

Scent deprivation is a thing and it's basically like if you don't have access to safe scents, your brain feels like its in solitary confinement (with all the side effects that come from that) regardless of whether or not you're actually alone. hierarchy of who's most likely to suffer from it: Omegas who live alone > mated omegas > mated alphas > non-mated alphas > omegas with a pack > betas

Heat and rut blockers also exist, however, it's a really idea to use them over extended periods of time since heats/ruts are needed to produce certain hormones in alphas/omegas. Long term usage can lead to hospitalization

Mate bonding- it's like marriage but not legally binding and involves biting and a psychic link with partners where they can kinda sense each other's emotions (even from a distance)

Pack bonding is just people living in the same space and sharing scents (the latter part is more important. Like, a bunch of people placed in the same college dorm wouldn’t inherently be a pack but friends living together and sharing clothes or blankets or chilling on a couch together regularly probably would be a pack)

Nice:

Omega mostly because I like the angst potential

Doesn't let the public know his secondary gender at all, but his fans want him to be an alpha. All of this is fucking with his hormones 

Has a nest in Wreck's apartment, but stopped nesting after moving to hero tower. The combination of not having any scents but his own around + general stress and anxiety + OCD making him feel like his nest is never perfect enough kinda just made it impossible for him

On heavy scent blockers and heat suppressants 

He used to only wear scent patches in public but he started wearing them in private when Moon moved in 

In general he makes sure he and his space smell like absolutely nothing. He's gotten both scent gland infections and scent deprivation sickness because of this

Bonded mates with Wreck and terrified that the public thinking he's dating Moon will lead to his mark fading

When he's not actively destroying his body he smells like apricots, cinnamon, and honey 

Gets partially exposed as an omega after an incident where his body kinda just quit on him (and Wreck may or may not have made a pretty big public scene trying to get to him), then just confirmed it himself after he got out of the hospital to prevent any more speculation. 

Wreck:

Alpha but people probably assume he's a Beta most of the time (except when he's pretending to be a villain) 

Public assumes he and Nice are two alphas fighting over an omega. The public is wrong

Incredibly picky about what scents end up in his apartment and gets pretty upset if anyone but Nice's or his own ends up in there

The fact that he can't smell Nice at all but Moon's scent is always kinda around stresses him the fuck out

Smells like plum, nutmeg, and cinnamon 

Also nervous about the whole “the public might make the mating mark disappear” thing

Cuz of the mate bond, he'd probably realize Nice was in trouble before things got to the point of no return

Like, in canon, he threatened to kill Moon when no one would tell him where Nice was… he'd probably do worse if he was getting a psychic sos from Nice and wasn't allowed to see him 

Post Nice hospitalization incident, he proves to the public that the villain thing was an act (except the part where he caused a bunch of damage trying to get to Nice). He ends up in a weird place with the public cuz they’re glad he exposed Treemans shady activities but nervous cuz now he’s being hostile towards the public for real

Moon

Alpha and pissed the public thinks she's an omega 

Her scent keeps changing and she can't mark out any sort of territory in the apartment since Nice keeps cleaning everything and she's gonna flip a table

She smells like coffee, dark chocolate, and chilis. The treeman group makes her wear some honey scented perfume so that she smells more “omega-like” and she hates it

The public's perception kinda caused her to develop some omega habits like nesting (and not being able to nest in Nice's apartment is yet another cause of stress)

Pre-girlfriendification, she had the reputation of being like the cheerful, safe alpha (a fact that she was pretty proud of) 

A lot of her old fans are confused on why people think she’s an omega (and she's incredibly thankful for them since they're what let her stay an alpha)

Probably wanted to strangle Miss J after learning all the details on wrice because why the hell did she think separating a mated pair and forcing a stranger alpha into the omega's nest area would end well

Moon gets a happy ending in this au and gets to go back to travel blogging/ small crime fighting after everyone decides to come clean (but this time, she has her and Lin Ling's apartment to go back to)

Lin Ling

Assumed to be a Beta since he doesn't experience heats or ruts, but he does have his own scent

He just smells like mint 

Pretty good at detecting others scents 

Has a sorta pseudo nest that he's not that serious about

He's never really bothered to question his secondary gender but boy does the public

In this au, I think he'd get picked up for heroism as a body double for Nice while the real one is in the hospital. 

He was mostly there to be a placeholder until Nice was in a position to make a decision about how he wanted to proceed with hero work, but (much to Miss J’s annoyance) all four of them just decide to come clean about everything. Nice takes a major hit to his reputation but stays a hero, Wreck gets to be a hero on a technicality (public knows he’ll save them because he’s helping Nice + people who live in the same neighborhood as him/ interact with him regularly like him), Moon gets to go do her thing, and Lin Ling gets to be #10 hero.

The public doesn’t believe Lin Ling is a beta, but the online discourse never came to a conclusion on “what he actually is,” so it doesn’t really affect him. 

He’s mostly just vibing but he’d probably be down to become an omega if it meant Moon could mate-bite him

Miss J

Beta

Can pick up on smells but is good at gaslighting people into thinking she can’t 

Smells like antibacterial soap. People assume she's doing it on purpose but no, she's not. She just smells like that

Enlighter

Alpha but the public is praying on his downfall/ wants him to be a Beta

Started his investigation on Nice because he thought it was weird the guy had no scent at all

Probably doesn’t bother with scent mufflers, leading to a pretty bad first impression with most people. 

Smells aggressively like old spice

Firm Man

Beta, but forced to become an alpha after becoming a hero and he hates it

Finds all the smells overstimulating 

Gets to go back to being a beta after retiring 

I’d like to think he gets to be in a pack with Wolf Girl post retirement 

Smells like spearmint and eucalyptus 

Wolf Girl

Omega 

The fact that she wasn’t conforming with the whole “omegas are agreeable” thing was part of why bullies targeted her

Smells like peach green tea

Yang Cheng

Idk what he’ll be later but he sure as hell is starting as a beta

[elbiotipo]

Yeah, like you said, Buddhist and Hindu texts definitely use very large units of time, and they are often meant, not to be perfectly literal, but more placeholder for ''incomprehensibly long time'' which causes fun dissonances when it bleeds into the popular culture.

When it comes to Taoism and Shinto inspired works, however, while symbolic phrase of ten thousand years/things/ eight million kami does retain symbolic meaning, character's insane long ages are often meant to be read as literal, at least in more contemporary works ( so, ten thousand year old protagonist really is that old haha) though context is pretty interesting:

Both Taoism and Shinto generally hold to premise that the older something or somebody is, more spiritually potent it is- whether because they have gathered life energy through careful cultivation, or spiritual power naturally builds up with the years, or they simply attained experience that helps with spiritual insight, or in case of objects or places, have been revered for the centuries and thus empowered with time.

In both of these religions, supernatural creatures ( yao, youkai, xian, guai; can be translated as demon, monster, spirit, tho neither are wholly correct etc) usually start out as completely ordinary animals, plants, objects, natural phenomena, that with long passage of years attained human intellect, form, and supernatural powers- whether by pure luck of existing that long or intentionally seeking out spiritual practices/medicines/magic techniques. So, say, a huli jing/ kitsune/ kumiho/ nine tailed fox isn't spirit or demon that just resembles fox; rather, it began as ordinary fox that lived long enough to develop human intellect, and then decided to seek out more magic knowledge for itself, growing new tail with each century and ascending to Heaven once it reaches 1,000.

Taoism, particularly, is devoted to search for immortality, with that being motivation of both positive and negative characters; it is achieved with everything from medicines and strange herbs; over breathing and physical exercises; to recitation of the particular mantras. Immortals themselves vary in status and power, from ''magic warrior who is ageless and immune to illness but can be killed'' to ''transcendent being whose enlightenment allows them to arise above worldly matters''. Living that uncountably long is both their goal and source of their power at the same time; and basic background logic is that achieving immortality and living for aeons is all too possible if you figure out right way.

Translated in game and novel terms, it usually means that the characters who lived longer are more powerful, both because they had more time to practice and accrue skills, but also because they have more energy to their disposal. On character building side, immortality and thousands of years of existence also plays significant part; in more human focused stories, humans who achieved immortality will be portrayed as kinda distant from mundane mortals, whether because of arrogance or millenia of loss. Meanwhile, in novels that focus on gods and spirits, you will see truly insane numbers ( like 50,000 years, I have even come across stories where age of characters was numbered in millions) with implication that most of that time was spent busying with 1) godly duties of establishing cosmos and commanding natural phenomena 2) being a piece of rock trying to figure out sentience.

Ah, sorry for such large text and getting off topic!

I have almost nothing to comment here because this is truly fascinating. I was aware of some of this but it's interesting to be aware how it is reflected in pop-culture.

That last part of becoming one or the same as natural phenomena really strikes me, from my limited understanding of Taoism, as one very interesting way to explore inmortal characters in a setting; they become part of nature, of the Tao itself. To imagine the life of such a character makes my mind run. I really should learn more about this.

(I'm also writing or at least brainstorming about a huli jing character, and much of what you've said I was aware of but it really gets me some more ideas. The idea that despite all, she was once just a fox, it's really compelling to talk about)

[speedforce-zoomies]

I think it would be funny if all the Gotham heroes randomly experienced Tim’s “I’m just gonna fall asleep here” ailment.

Like Dick’s looking for him throughout the manner and can’t find him so he looks at the tracker that’s embedded in the funky shoelaces he gave Tim for his last birthday (Tim knows and didn’t say anything cuz Dick gets special privileges) and then the tracker leads him to his room and Tim’s fast asleep under DICK’S bed for some reason? Or in some random room that he’s completely forgotten even exists.

Cass and Steph will make a game of it and split up, Cass knows her brothers and Steph knows Tim. Cass will think back to when she last saw him and based on how he was behaving then she’ll have a list of places he might be. Steph will think about where she last saw him and put together the clues based on what he messed with or messed up in his sleep deprived state. Both usually find him, on a rafter, halfway in somebody’s laundry basket, etc but who gets there first is a toss up. There’s only been one time neither of them could find him and he refuses to tell them where he was.

The others think Duke is cheating because he can just use his ‘Ghost Vision’ to just track Tim down. Sometimes he does so just so he can join Tim and not have to deal with anyone else or so that he can prank them into thinking they’re both missing. Later someone else will find the both of them fast asleep curled up in the pantry or on random back staircase, seemingly in some kind of pattern no one can figure out.

Damian also kind of cheats because he’s trained Titus and Alfred to track him down after seeing Bruce do the same with Ace. When they find him, sometimes he draws the odd position he finds his bother in as an anatomy study. Sometimes Tim wakes up to Alfred or Titus curled up around him. Sometimes he wakes up to Damian staring really intently at his face, really close up. Tim’s just learned to accept it as Damian never explains (he’s been practicing figuring out a person’s medical status while they’re unconscious on Tim like checking vitals, etc).

Jason rarely actively seeks out Tim when Tim’s not readily available but he will just randomly stumble upon him, like one time he went to the Wayne library and found Tim out cold on the window seat, with one leg outside the window for some reason? Another time he found Tim on one of the shelves on a bookcase in Bruce’s study when he went to steal borrow something of his. It actually really freaked him out because Jason couldn’t see him behind Bruce’s desk and chair until he got closer. One time he even found him fast asleep propped up next to the entrance door.

Barbara uses the manor’s security system to her advantage when she needs to find him, she can find him easily about half the time and with some effort another 40 percent of the time and around 10 percent she gives up and sics Dick on him.

Helena rarely visits the manor but she will sometimes come home, realize Tim has broken in, and then have to figure out what random space in her apartment he’s hidden in that he should not be able to fit in at all much less comfortably enough to fall asleep in. One time Rene and Helena were working a case together and she went to grab a mug and found Tim curled up in the cabinet. Helena just shrugged and so Renee just shut the door again, not even bothering to ask.

The first time Maps found him asleep in a corner of a random hallway she freaked out thinking he was seriously injured and Bruce had to apologize for not warning her.

Darcy once found him fast asleep half way over the railing of his houseboat and she dragged him back by his collar and when it woke him up she just stared at him until he told her he wouldn’t fall asleep there again.

Harper sometimes gets permission to borrow a vehicle and then has to take out her second choice instead of her first because she found Tim asleep inside the vehicle or even on top of it.

Tim has forgiven Jean Paul but the other hero hasn’t found him asleep since he his time as interim Batman, he doesn’t bring it it up, he understands why.

Kate has found Tim asleep in the backseat of her car and she’ll snap a pic and send it to the others, the caption always ???

Bruce has Ace trained but he’s also tried to categorize Tim’s moods to see if he’ll go to certain places based off what he’s feeling - sad = staircase? Angry = sibling room? Tim learns about the data set and purposely messes it up so Bruce has to keep changing his hypotheses.

Alfred takes note of the direction Tim splits off in every time just in case he needs to find him later.

Everyone’s just kind of accepted if you live in the manor or have a room there you’re gonna find Tim fast asleep somewhere odd and if you don’t? Good chance that you’ll find him asleep somewhere you frequently are at some point or another.

Also when they go to theme parks Tim gets a buddy because of the “one time guys!” he fell asleep on a roller coaster (Robin issue 171).

+

Far less often, but rarely a rouge who’s pretty chill with Tim like Selena will find him asleep somewhere they’re plotting at and just ignore him til he wakes up.

[voidcat]

Hmmm but what if streamer!reader ends up w someone who begins to bother and hit on them over time, taking advantage of the branch of friendship reader had offered and instead being a whole weird creep— maybe someone in the past now, maybe still ongoing just yet.

Michael kaiser x streamer!reader. Possessive behavior if you squint ig this is Kaiser after all

Until after one of those off camera streamers where they’re once more crashed by Kaiser, reader receives a new message and to shoo the weirdo off, reader says that they’re in a relationship.

“Who? The guy whose voice could be heard in mumbles from a distance last night?”

You cannot help but roll your eyes, holding back a sigh. Of course the bastard watches your streams, what were you expecting? But maybe… just maybe this can work. Worst case scenario that they recognise his voice, they’re a football fan so Kaiser’s very presence might emit respect and fear.

So you swallow, bite your tongue and open your mouth. “Yeah. In fact it’s been going on for quite a while. Getting serious.”

You say, emphasising on the last word, hoping they’ll get the message.

And it works! Somehow, partially. The messages have come to an end, there are still few mutual servers and friends you both share but not even once have they entered a voice chat when you were present.

You don’t realise how this will fail utterly in a way you could not have prepared for.

Saying Michael Kaiser, the same guy you call the bane of your existence, who gets cranky like a needy, spoiled dog when you’re taking with your friends a little intimately - and maybe a little flirty; is your partner.

Romantically involved and implied to be even more. And cherry on top, when you’ve said that it’s been getting serious for a while.

By the time you come to realise your mistake, it’s already far too late. You’re not sure on the ‘how’ or ‘when’ but one thing for certain, you should never underestimate Michael Kaiser— especially when it concerns the both of you, together.

[buckysgirl27]

Off To War

Part Nine

40s Bucky x Reader

Summary: Reader and Bucky are married in the 40's. Hydra captures Bucky and commands him to eliminate them. Can he do it? What will happen to future Bucky with this new information.

Trigger Warnings: angst, Bucky's HYDRA abuse, reader WANTS Bucky bad

A/N: Thank you for all the love❤️ It's kinda long. Oops. I guess it makes up for not updating in like forever.

Masterlist

Your room came stocked with a variety of new clothes. Apparently women wore pants now. It was odd. You liked it though. You didn't have to worry about revealing anything.

It also helped with your morning “training”. The lady named Natasha helped you out with that. She was your “sparring” partner. You didn’t understand what half the things were that she was talking about but you were starting to get the hang of it. Sort of. She said it would be easier when you weren't pregnant.

You wondered if James would want to be near you again by that time. If the baby would save your relationship. At the same time though you didn't want the baby to be the only thing keeping you together. You both deserved better than that. You didn't want to be stuck in a loveless marriage and you knew he wouldn't either.

"You should talk to him." Natasha said. She was leaning up against the frame of your bedroom door.

You jumped slightly. You hadn't heard her enter.

"He doesn't want to talk to me," you said softly, "you saw how he walked away from me."

Natasha rolled her eyes.

"You know him better than all of us and you think he really deep down doesn't want to talk to you?"

You nodded sadly.

"He's changed. A lot. He looked right through me and then said he 'can't do this'. Whatever the hell that means." You were practically on the verge of tears. Steve came barreling back into your life again to give you false hope again that your child wouldn't be fatherless again.

Natasha walked over to where you were at in front of the closet.

"He's in his room."

You nodded. You had to figure this out at some point. The sooner the better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky heard a knock at the door. He swore under his breath. If that was Sam coming to tell him to stop being an idiot again he was going to have to punch him.

He placed his drink down on the kitchen counter and moved towards the door and yelled,

"Sam if that's you, you better be gone by the time I get to the door."

He was close enough to hear breath hitch behind the door. Good. He should be afraid. Bucky twisted the doorknob and semi violently swung the door open. However, it wasn't Sam who greeted him.

"Um, hello. Not Sam." You said quietly. Then you perked up. "What'd he do to deserve your wrath?"

Bucky let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"He existed." He told you stiffly.

You laughed at that. It was the mostly beautiful sound he had heard in a long time. Maybe he could do this again. He shook his head. No. He'd just hurt you again.

"Funny as ever." You teased.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. Harsher than he intended. Which earned him an equally harsh response.

"I came to see if you were alright and perhaps talk about the situation if that's perfectly alright with you. Since I'm carrying you child and all."

Bucky looked you up and down. Really studied you this time. He noticed how tired you looked.

"The baby. It's really mine?" He asked you slowly.

You nodded.

"Is that what you were worried about?"

You looked at him softly. It was foreign to him but for some reason it made him trust you. He looked around the hallway and noting no-one was there then stepped aside and motioned you in.

You shuffled passed him and he shut the door. He turned to face you. Finally.

"In part." He looked at the ground. He felt ashamed that he thought you would cheat on him now that you were here. But how could you not? He didn't deserve you. You were gorgeous and he was a killer.

You moved to place your hand on his cheek and he flinched. Steve said he was different. You didn't think there would be a world in which he didn't want your touch. You placed your hand on your belly. not quite sure what to do with it now.

"James. I know almost everything. Steve covered a lot. You didn't deserve it," You slowly reached out with your opposite hand to his flesh hand and slowly took it in yours and placed it on your stomach. "but baby, you do deserve this."

Bucky was trying and failing to fight the tears that were rolling down his face. He wanted to fight you on taking his hand but you placed it on your stomach and it felt so right. So familiar. He smiled. For the first time in decades.

"Wanna know something cool?"

You were thrown off guard. He didn't try to argue it. He just smiled and changed the subject. THAT was different.

"Um, yeah sure."

"After you got here I read some pregnancy books."

You raised an eyebrow. He continued.

"You wanna find out if it's a boy or a girl?"

Your mouth dropped open. They couldn't do that. Could they? I mean they could travel in time maybe they could.

"James don't be ridiculous you can't tell what the baby is until it comes you know that."

Bucky shook his head.

"Nope sugar, we can go right now. The doc downstairs can tell us."

You looked at him confused.

"The doc?"

"Yeah. We - Tony - brought one in when he found out that you were - are, pregnant. We'll always have one around."

Bucky smiled triumphantly. He finally did something right. You huffed out a laugh.

"Alright soldier. Let's see this 'doc'. But if you're wrong and we can't find out what the baby is, then you owe me foot massages every day until the baby gets here! Before that though, you need to shower. I will not go downstairs until you do."

Bucky cocked his head.

"Why?"

You looked at him confused.

"Why what, James?"

"Why do I need to shower?"

You looked at him confused. Steve was right. His sense of hygiene was practically gone. What did they do to him?

"Well, you smell like you haven't showered in weeks and it looks like I could pull the grease from your hair and fry some eggs with it."

He looked away from you ashamed. He failed you. Again.

"I'm sorry." He muttered.

You reached for his face, slowly as not to scare him away.

"It's alright. It'll just be something we work on."

With a slight hesitation you pulled his head down to meet yours. You pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. You heard his breath hitch and hope you made the right decision and didn't push him too far.

His lips twitched up for the briefest second before they fell again.

"They wouldn't let me." He told you. "Shower. They sprayed me down with a high pressure hose and said it was enough. Got the blood off anyway."

Steve said it was bad. You didn't know it was this bad. You didn't know how damaged he really was and he wasn't sure if you would be able to handle it. Or if he would. He pulled away from you, ignoring your horrified expression.

"I'm going to go take that shower."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was gone for 45 minutes before you decided to see what was taking so long. A shower that long couldn't be normal for a guy right?

You entered the small bathroom and were welcomed with a billow of steam, and then you saw him. Just standing there under the water. Staring at the wall. Doing nothing.

You walked up to the glass door and knocked quietly. He didn't move. Just kept the blank stare.

You weren't quite sure what to do. You could undress and get in and help him. But what if he wasn't in the headspace and attacked you? But what if he just needed you to help him? If he truly forgot and just needed help, like a child. So you knocked again, a little louder.

He flinched, and turned to you. You waved, and it felt a little silly. He nodded. He was ok. He said anyway. You were going to help him you decided. He went back to staring at the wall and you slowly undressed. First your shirt then your pants. You started taking off your bra and that's when he looked over at you again. Curiously this time.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

You huffed out a breath.

"Well you've just been standing there staring at the wall for nearly an hour. You need help."

His look of curiosity turned to confusion.

"Help?"

You rolled your eyes. Your James would've made a smart remark about shower sex. This one...it was the last thing on his mind.

"Yes James, help."

"I don't need help I"m fine." He said as he picked up the hair conditioner and read the instructions on the bottle meticulously.

"If you need to read the bottle, then you need help." You stated bluntly.

James rolled his eyes. However he pushed open the shower door and let you in with him.

"Happy now?" He asked you.

"Yes actually, very. Now hand me the bottle that says body wash and that thing that looks like a sponge."

Steve had bought him 4 different body washes. All different scents. Just so he could figure out which one he liked. He chose the first one to make this easier on you.

You grabbed the loofah and you soaped it up.

"Alright, this might tickle a little bit." You told him.

He nodded solemnly and you scrubbed him. Hard. Probably too hard but the man needed it.

"Fuck!"

"James. Language. Little one present."

"Sorry." He said apologetically. Too apologetically.

You stopped scrubbing and looked up from that well built thigh. It was so much bigger than before. You were so wet and it wasn't just because you were in the shower. You tried to ignore one thing about him that you missed dearly. His cock. It wasn't easy to ignore. But you did. For him.

"James, love, you are aware no one owns you correct? Just because we are married it doesn't mean I own you."

He nodded.

"I-I know. 'm not used to it."

You stared at him for a moment longer. Contemplating on trying to drag more out of him but decided against it.

"Ok. As long as you know."

You finished up his leg and tossed the loofah to the side.

"Please pass me the shampoo. It'll get the grease out of your hair."

He complied. You lathered up the shampoo in your hands and then motioned for him to bring his head down.

"Come here, I can't reach you all the way up there." You laughed softly.

He bent down a little and groaned when you worked the shampoo into his hair. You rinsed it out with just as much love and did it one more time. Just in case. He passed you the conditioner and you repeated the process.

You booped him on the nose and he looked well and truly shocked. You laughed.

"And that is how you take a shower." You told him.

"Can I take one every day?"

You gave a soft laugh.

"Yes love, you can take one everyday."

He looked like he wanted to add something. He also looked like he didn't know if he should say it or not. You wanted him to be comfortable with anything around you so you pushed.

"Something on your mind?"

He looked at you nervously.

"Will you shower with me all the time?"

You giggled. "Sure."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you got to the doctor's office the word futuristic was an understatement. It was definitely not what you were expecting nor was it what you were used to. You knew a little poster on the wall and an examination table. But this, this was something else entirely.

There was an exam table in the middle of the room. On the far left corner there was a table with the doctor's computer and a swivel chair. You liked the swivel chairs. You asked for one for your room. You got one. You liked Tony. In the far right corner there was all the medical instruments and the cabinets. You didn't even want to think about what might be in those cabinets. Needles. Yuck. By the exam table right next to you there was the chair for the patient's plus one. In your case, James. Whose knee was bouncing up and down uncontrollably as you waited for the doctor to arrive.

"Will you stop that?" You all but snapped at him.

James flinched slightly at your raised tone but stopped immediately.

"Sorry." He muttered.

You sighed. You felt bad. You shouldn't have snapped like that. You were about to apologize for it but before you could get the words out the doctor entered the room.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Cho." She nodded towards you and Bucky as she walked to her desk in the corner.

"You're a woman?" You blurted. You slapped your hand quickly over your mouth. That was an inside thought. She laughed.

"You haven't been here long have you?"

You shook your head. You really hadn't.

"We wanted to see if it's a boy or a girl." James interrupted what could have been an interesting history lesson for you. You shot him a small glare and he just shrugged.

"Yes yes. First a couple questions. Clearly, you are pregnant so we don't need to draw blood to check. Did you have a pregnancy plan with your doctor before you came here?"

You looked at her confused.

"Pregnancy plan?"

"Yes. We make a plan for when you deliver the baby and any postpartum care you may need."

"Um, postpartum?" You asked timidly looking at James first before looking back to the doctor. He was just as lost as you were though.

"Yes dear. It means an amount of time after the baby is born."

"Oh, ok. Um, well, I think I'd like to deliver in my room, that's how we did it in the 40's and I never got to. I don't really know after that." James reached over to you and took your hand and squeezed it comfortingly.

"I'll help ya doll. You're not alone."

Doctor Cho tried really hard not to roll her eyes at the cheesiness of it all while she typed your wishes into the notes section. She nodded.

"Alright. That's fine. If you change your mind just let me know so I can update the staff who will be helping."

You and James nodded.

"Alright. Let's get a look at the baby." Doctor Cho smiled.

She got up from her place at the desk and want to grab some jelly to rub onto your stomach so the wand for the ultrasound machine could roll over you. That's what she told you.

"It may be a little cold."

You hissed at the cold jelly being smeared across you.

"Alright let's have a look." Doctor Cho said as she rubbed the wand across your stomach. She paused, smirked, and then rubbed a little more.

"What is it?" You asked.

"Is there something wrong?" James demanded.

"Oh no. Everything is absolutely fine." She paused. "You're having twins!"

"TWINS?!" You and James exclaimed.

Right before he passed out. Doctor Cho laughed.

"It's always the fathers. Don't worry, he'll be fine."

You hopped off the examination table and kneeled down next to James' face and smacked his cheeks lightly a couple times.

"Hey honey, come on. Wake up. Come back."

He slowly opened his eyes.

"Twins?"

You laughed as he lifted himself up onto his elbows.

"Yeah honey. Twins."

@goth1c-pinki3-pi3

@svtbpbts

@homiesexual-or-homosexual

@baw1066

@theflowerswillbloom

@lil-riddle-kiddle

@lapii

[sertralineman]

not to turn this blog into a discourse blog, but like, i gotta get this out of my head. so warning for everyone who doesn't feel up to it, looong opinion post ahead.

i just read someone saying that "t*nny" is a transfem-exclusive slur, and that transmascs "shouldn't reclaim it or say it hurts them, too". excuse me but what.

i'n a trans man. i have been called a trnny more times than i can count. all people who have called me that knew that i was a trans man, not a trans woman. all of those people used the exact same language they use for trans women.

i've heard/read people claiming that some forms of opression are transfem-exclusive before, and y'know, i was even ready to agree on some of those, but when i learned what their examples are, i realized that i have experienced nearly all of those things first-hand.

being called a pervert? i was, too. thrown out of any bathroom you walk into? all the time. getting violent threats? me too.

yes, small differences exist, but the talking points are still the same. it's literally the same people saying those things, too.

with all the kindness in the world: i need some people in the trans community to log off for a second and see how the world looks like. we are really not different at all. we are a community for a reason.

not to mention, the important conversations about systems of opression can, and should, coexist. i am a man so i don't have a say in the conversation about transmysogyny, but i deserve to talk about the opression i face, too. that does not invalidate or erase your struggles at all; tell you more, it amplifies our voices, emphasizes our points, both on transfem and transmasc ends.

i love my trans sisters, and i really don't get why some people think we shouldn't stand united. we fight for the same thing because all systems of opression reinforce each other and are all rooted in the same bigotry. any trans man with even a shred of common sense realizes that transphobia, any form of transphobia, stems from patriarchy. we fight the same fight. we can either unite, fight it together, and live, or stay divided and lose.

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

whoops, 2.8k more buddie for you today!!

clear as mud

buddie | T | 2,883 words | on AO3

this is set post S3 E15 "Eddie Begins" so spoilers for any ep up to that point!

Eddie is trapped under 40’ of mud and drags himself back to the surface late Wednesday night. 48 hours later, Buck is knocking on his front door.

He can do this, he can do this.

Eddie opens the door.

There’s a fresh scab on the cut above his eye.

He doesn’t think he can do this.

“Buck? Everything alright?”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Eddie’s eyes widen.

He closes the front door behind him.

Buck can’t seem to stop talking.

“I think I’ve loved you since the earthquake. Maybe even since the grenade? A-and I’ve been thinking about you pretty much constantly since you joined the 118.

“You’ve always had my back, you’re always right where I need you when I need you, you were the first hand to reach for me after the engine came down on me, the one person it hurt the most not to see during the lawsuit..

“When you were trapped down there, under all that mud.. when it was possible we wouldn’t even be able to try  to get to you, I nearly lost it, Eddie, I could not fathom what it’d be like to wake up the next day in a world where you didn’t exist anymore, where I’d have to go to your funeral, see Chris at your funeral.”

His breaths are coming shorter and harder now, Eddie’s eyes are wide, his mouth still dropped open, but he can’t stop talking. Eddie needs to hear it all. Now. While he still has time to make himself scarce if it all goes wrong.

“When I thought I’d failed you, during the lawsuit, the tsunami, the well… those were a few of the worst times in my life. I talked to Maddie, of course I talked to Maddie, and she thought— then I knew—”

He takes a studying breath, looking Eddie in the eye. “I love you, Eddie. You and Chris both. The two of you are as important to me as my own sister. Maybe even more.”

Buck sees something fold over Eddie’s gaze. A pit opens in his stomach. “And you don’t have to feel the same way, obviously, I just needed to tell you. We might not have a tomorrow, y’know?”

Two things happen then, nearly on top of the other. 

First, Eddie’s quiet, resigned, not-at-all-hopeful-sounding “Buck..”, and second, the door behind him opening to reveal an older woman with short black hair. 

“Eddito, everything okay?”

“Tia–”

“Everything’s great, ma’am, just catching Eddie up on something for our shift tomorrow.” Buck finds himself saying, praying it’s just dark enough outside for either Diaz to see how red his face feels. He starts to back up off the landing, “Didn’t mean to intrude or anything, see you around, Ed?” and with that, is turning to all but jog back to his jeep.

His ears even try to trick him into thinking he hears Eddie call after him.

Eddie stands there on his porch for much longer than he should have; when he finally comes back to himself, he tries texting Buck.

The first two messages are read, then after that, he only gets ‘Sent’.

Sent, Sent, Sent.

He tries calling; the first call rings out twice, then goes to voicemail.

The next two go right to voicemail.

The fourth he leaves a message, “Buck, please call me back, we can talk about it, I want to talk about it. You just caught me off guard is all, call me back when you get this?”

He even thinks about driving over to Buck’s loft; has his keys in his hand after everyone else has gone to bed, but Chris still sometimes wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, and he knows he’d feel more guilty about not being there for him than not going after Buck right now.

So he waits. He puts the keys back on the counter, goes to bed knowing he can just talk to Buck tomorrow at the station.

Right?

Wrong.

He gets in, changes, and is waiting upstairs in the kitchen, staring near unblinkingly at the bay doors for any sign of Buck.

He’d gotten in early to make sure he couldn’t miss him, he just has to keep watching.

Any minute now buck will gallop in on those Bambi legs of his saying he’s sorry for being late, and Eddie will pull him aside after breakfast to…

…To what exactly?

Tell him he’s flattered, but he’s not interested in that way?

He isn’t, but Buck would understand, right?

Fuck, the look on his face is going to hurt.

He should just tell him he loves him too, keep his friend from getting hurt. That’s what best friends are for. He can handle anything that comes after; taking Buck out for dinner or making him dinner at his place isn’t at all outside of normal for them. He’s also basically living with him and Chris anyway, what’s the harm in making it official?

He’ll be perfectly okay with sharing a bed with him, holding him, cuddling close, holding his hand when they go out to some exhibit Chris wants to see at the museum, tugging him close and guiding him through the crowds with a hand on his back, pulling him into a dark corner of the hall of mammals and kissing him sensel—--

“Eddie!”

Eddie’s snapped out of his totally normal daydream by Chimney’s yell, “What?”

Turning, he sees the rest of the house already sitting down to eat, filling their plates with Cap’s fluffy french toast and eggs.

“I called your name like, six times. You comin’ to eat or what?” he says, pulling out a chair for himself.

Eddie looks over the table as he walks over. Buck’s normal chair to Cap’s right is still empty.

“Where’s—” he cuts himself off to turn sharply around at a squeak of a boot on the top step.

“Sorry I’m late everyone, french toast today, huh?”

“Bosko?”

“Hey Diaz, how’ve you been?” she pats his shoulder as she passes, pulls out Buck’s chair and plops down into it.

Eddie just stares.

“Eddie?” he looks up at Cap, “You care to join us?”

“Where’s Buck?”

“He called me early this morning, said he needs to take a couple personal days,” Cap explains simply, like that was completely normal. 

..Alright, it is completely normal, but still.

“For what?” He knows damn well ‘for what’.

“Figured you would know.” Hen shrugs, “Do you not?”

Because I broke his heart. I broke my best friend’s heart.

Eddie takes a breath. “No. I don’t.”

“Yeah Hen, why would Eddie know?” Chim adds, bringing all eyes to him. Eddie’s eyes narrow. “It’s not like he’s the reason.”

Hen similarly scrutinizes Chimney, then turns her attention to Eddie. 

She knows.

Chim knows something and because he knows something, Hen knows something.

Eddie opens his mouth to say something to Hen, when the alarm rings out.

“Dispatch to station 118, multiple car crash on the 5; at least four injured, will update as more calls come in.”

As soon as they’re in the rig, Eddie tries sending out more fruitless texts.

Are you okay?

I’ll see you when you get in

Where are you?

Buck, please

I’ll come to you, just let me know where you want to meet? Your place? 

The coffee spot down the road?

Out on a call, i’ll try calling you again when we get back?

He stuffs his phone back in his pocket with a huff. “Chimney. What do you know?”

“Same as you, Diaz, multi-car crash, numerous injuries, all minor, it sounds like.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, turning to look at Hen, “What does he know?”

“Clearly more than you.”

He throws up his hands in exasperation, “You people are impossible.”

“We’re not the ones breaking our best friend’s heart..” Chimney tries to grumble, completely forgetting he’s got a headset on.

“I did not—”

“Now’s not the time, we’ve got work to do.”

Eddie throws off his headset, stalking off after Chimney, “He’s at yours and Maddie’s place, isn’t he.”

“‘He’? Who’s ‘he’?”

“Come off it Chim, I’ve been trying to call and text him all night; I was going to talk to him today.”

Chim looks over at him, opens his mouth to say something when Maddie’s voice comes through the radio. “Dispatch to 118, Additional injuries reported south of your location. One car veered off the highway to avoid collision.”

“Copy that, Dispatch.” Eddie says into his radio, “Chim, do you want to go w–”

“118 please respond.”

What the– “Copy Dispatch, Firefighters Diaz and Han on route on foot to specified location.”

“118 please respond, last communication cut out.”

Chimney responds this time. “118 to Dispatch, last message copied. Heading to scene south of location on foot. No major injuries reported from the driver?” 

“Dispatch to 118, no major injuries reported, but driver reports he cannot get any of the windows or doors open.”

“Copy, grabbing jaws.” 

“What the hell, she answers you?”

Chim sighs, “Just grab the jaws, we’ll talk about it later.”

The rest of their 48 goes about the same. Get a call, try to catch a nap, a shower, a workout, all the while Eddie is going through every single interaction he’s ever had with Buck. Quite the undertaking, sure, but how else is he going to occupy the time between now and when he can see him again when he isn’t here to kill time with?

The bodycam video from the well that Hen sent him also keeps replaying in his head at random times. Bucks screams, his frantic clawing at the ground, the utterly defeated look on his face when Bobby finally pulled him back…

The tsunami, how he looked when he’d thought he’d lost Christopher, the look in his eye when Eddie told him that of course he still trusted him with his son after all that. 

His face when showing off Chris’ skateboarding rig, even with how short of a time that had been used. 

It’s like everything and every look Buck had ever given him was suddenly laid out on a platter for him.

“You have a kid? I love kids!”, The short-lived #thosetwofirefighters hashtag the 118 social media had been getting for a while after that one influencer with a maggot in her face caught them on her livestream, hell, even on Eddie’s first day! The way Buck fumbled over his “Or y’know you could.. You could have mine.” response when Eddie told him he could have his back any day.

“What is your type anyway?” he’d said, “I’d still take you, wanna go for the title?” he’d said.

Eddie has a lingering suspicion Buck hadn’t meant in a fight with that last one.

“Dios Mio am I an idiot?”

“Yes.” Chimney says with a sigh as he drops into the seat beside him on the couch. “Still not answering you, huh?”

Eddie’s sent a handful more messages since this morning.

I think your sister is mad at me

Back at the station now

Bobby says you’re fine but you’re worrying me

Can I meet you after shift tomorrow?

“Not at all.” he tucks his phone away.

Chim nods, and doesn’t say anything for a little while. “He was really upset, you know.”

“Yeah, I kinda guessed that.” he squirms in his seat for a moment, “Do you think he’d listen if I told him how I felt?”

Chim sighs again and Eddie can’t help but roll his eyes, “Man, you gotta stop doing that. You sound like this all is old news.”

“It is old news, Eddie.”

“To who??”

“Anyone with eyes.” Hen says, tromping up the last steps. “Did you even watch the body cam footage from the well collapse? That boy was screaming and crying for you immediately.” She snaps her fingers to emphasize her point. “Even Bobby thinks you two have been idiots, don’t you Bobby?”

Eddie turns to see Bobby nearly chop a finger off at the counter. “Bobby?”

“As Captain, it’s not my place to comment on anyone’s personal relationships,”

“Ah ha, see? Nada. None of y—”

“But as someone who happens to care very much about our missing colleague,”

“You can just call him your son, Cap.”

Bobby sighs. Points the knife in his hand at Eddie, “Don’t hurt my boy, Diaz.”

Eddie gulps. “Yes sir.”

“Cap,” Hen groans, “You can’t go all scary on him like that! What if now he tells Buck what he wants to hear so you won’t castrate him?”

Chim and Eddie both wince at the word.

“Well, is he going to?” Bobby asks, looking away from his chopping to gaze at Eddie again.

“No, he isn’t.” Eddie responds, “He really does care about him. It just… maybe took him a minute to realize.”

Chim slaps him on the shoulder, “Atta boy, Eddie. He’s at my place, you can meet him there after we get off and you take a shower.” He wags a finger in Eddie’s face, “No one shall be schmoozing my future brother-in-law with stankyass.”

Maddie opens the door when he knocks.

“Maddie, hey–”

“I’m only allowing this because Howie promised he’d be okay.” She stares him down, “He will be okay, right?”

Eddie nods, “Hopefully more than just okay.”

She glares at him just a moment longer, then allows him in.

“Chim! Let’s go!”

“Coming!”

Eddie hears Chim talking to someone as he comes around the corner, “--Don’t even worry about it man, we’ll be back later on.”

“Are you sure, man? I don’t want to kick you out of your own house, even if it is for date n—- Eddie.”

“Buck..”

“Okayy! See ya later you crazy kids!” Chim says, grinning madly while pulling a still-frowning Maddie out the door after him.

He tries to start as soon as the door clicks shut behind him; doesn’t want to, can't keep waiting. 

“Buck—“

His friend is already walking back into the living room, cutting Eddie off before his name is fully out of his mouth. “Hey, don’t worry about it Ed, I was just overreacting from what happened, you know?” Buck wrings his hands together, a gut-punch in familiarity to post-lawsuit Buck. “I was just caught up, I didn’t mean it..”

And what another punch to the gut that was. “You didn’t mean it?” Buck looks up at him in shock, mouth popping open to explain, he’s sure, but Eddie keeps going. “All of what you said about how you feel about me and about Christopher. You didn’t mean it?” 

“Wait— waitwaitwait nonono, of course I meant it Eddie, I just—“ he huffs, running his hands down his face, sinking down onto the couch. “I didn’t think you’d— I hoped that you would obviously, but never thought that—“

“You didn’t think I cared for you too.” Eddie says more than asks.

“I didn’t want to let myself think that you of all people would have fallen for me as hard as I have for you,” Buck starts to pace, vomiting up all his words again, “You’re just so.. you’re so damn amazing Eddie; you’re an amazing dad to an amazing little kid, you’re strong and wonderful no matter what life throws at you, a damn good firefighter and a goddamn war hero and I’m just…”

Buck swallows, “And I’m just a bull-headed idiot who wouldn’t deserve you or Chris in a thousand lifetimes.” 

“Who said that?”

Buck’s brow scrunches, “Well, no one, I just–”

“You just thought that.”

“Yeah..”

“Why?”

 “It’s not like anyone has stayed.” Buck shrugs, “Even if I wanted them to.”

Something cold and angry starts to bubble in Eddie’s gut.

“Abby, Ali, hell, even Maddie; I felt like you had a right to know how I felt about you, but I’m not delusional enough to think that even if you weren’t all the way straight that you’d pick m—”

Buck’s lips are warm, but rough; Thoroughly chapped from being worried between Buck’s teeth, but soft and responsive beneath his. He can feel Buck’s pulse jump higher under his palm, his fingers splayed across his friend’s jaw and neck.

“I’d pick you.” Eddie breathes once he finally pulls back. He looks up from Buck’s mouth to his eyes, those damn eyes of his.. “I pick you and I will keep picking you.”

Buck’s forehead falls to Eddie’s, “Why?”

There’s only one answer to that. “Because you’re Buck.” Buck rolls his eyes, tries to pull away and laughs when Eddie’s hand keeps him in place. “And because who else would try to dig me out of 40 feet of mud with only their bare hands?”

“They told you about that??” he groans, and Eddie lets him go this time, his face falling into the crook of his neck.

“Of course they did” Eddie laughs, “And while I appreciate the sentiment querido, I don’t think you would’ve gotten very far.”

“Says you.”

“Says physics.”

Another laugh, fuller than the last, fills the room with warmth.

“I love you too, you know..”

“Well I do now.” Buck rolls his eyes fondly, “C’mon, you’re giving me a ride back to my place.”

“Wait– why?”

“I don’t think Chim would forgive us if we ruined his couch.”

baby's secondest buddie fic! 🥰

side note: maddie would never risk someone not getting the care they need on a site just because she's feeling salty at the man her baby brother has a crush on... but.................

dividers from here and here!

[mcytegg]

i wanna talk abt @oneformercy's tags bc i agree 100000% and its smt i want to talk abt As someone who was a fan of hannah back in like 2021 ~ 2022 (a time where she experienced violent misogyny for simply existing as a woman in a primarily male dominated space)

i see a lot of people rightfully criticizing derap, whos attitude towards women has Been uncomfortable for awhile now, and other ls fans but my main concern of how oddly hannah is being treated isnt focused on how the fans, at least not the fans on lsblr, are treating hannan but in how other ccs in general treat hannah in this specific way that makes me uncomfortable

obviously every fandom should be more aware of how they think, talk abt, and treat fem ccs or fem characters bc misogyny is something society is built on and the behaviours and internal biases everyone was raised on need to be unlearned regardless of how "good" u think u are about being Not misogynistic or Not sexist. mcyt fandoms especially seem to be under this impression that just because theyre aware of how much more difficult it is to exist as a fem cc in this space, it means they dont also fall into the category of being someone who MAKES it a difficult space for fem ccs to be in which is an issue ive seen in every mcyt fandom ive been in. its smt IVE been apart of too before i sat back and really thought abt my own internal biases and how they affected they way i interacted w fem ccs, esp in a fandom context, and how it differed from the way i interact w male ccs

kab and jumper come to mind when i talk abt lifesteal specifically bc their actions are criticized and judged MUCH more heavily then others and their own stories and characters are often chained to whatever percieved slight theyve made towards more popular male ccs rather than being seen as parts of their own overarching stories

like yeah, they are not perfect, but why are they expected to be? why is their every move judged more heavily then if anyone else (aka. any male cc.) did the same thing? why was every reason for disliking them and making jokes at their expense tied back into how they wronged a man however long ago? jumpers betrayal was fucked up. kab's attitudes towards fandom & her way of treating certain people on the server was uncomfortable but when i look at criticism and offhanded comments made about them specifically by fans, i know these same things would not be parroted or said NEARLY as much if they were men bc i have SEEN male ccs / charas / whatever do the same or Worse things yet they are excused, explained, defended, and have essays written abt how complex they are yet w fem ccs its a joke to be made or a complaint to be said

which like yeah. as i was saying, fandoms always can and Should really think and evaluate their attitudes towards non male ccs bc no matter how aware you Think you are of biases against women, it does not make you incapable of continuing behaviours and perpetuating misogynystic ways of thinkings and behaving. which brings me to the Main point i wanted to make abt this all :

although the fandom is a lot better abt hannah and the male lifesteal ccs are a lot kinder and more respectful towards hannah then her old "friend group" was, the fact remains that there are uncomfortable attitudes towards her!!! on the server alone she is left out of things, criticized for insanely normal things like wanting to be w her teammate (mapicc) after being betrayed or wanting to be involved in an arc revolving around her teammate who literally betrayed her, and her capabilities in both pvp and in general arent treated all that seriously despite how much she has proven herself to be someone worth respecting REPEATEDLY

thats not even getting into the jokes made about her off the server about her irl paranoia which leaves a sour taste in my mouth since its made into a joke despite it being a very real and understandable thing considering her past experiences AS a female creator— and although she is never ever mocked directly for it, in fact her emotions seem to be treated w respect TO her by others, it reads...badly to me that its so easy for other ccs to make a joke of it and not take it seriously when talking About her. i cant think of a Perfect example off the top of my head but like. yeah. ive Also noticed male ccs like derap, zam, mapicc, mane, etc who make these little jabs at her that arent directly hostile or intentionally mean but they feel weird and uncomfortable in what is being joked about— since theyre often these little jabs at her nd behaviours (but specifically her paranoia & anxiety), her personality, her mannerisms, or how she reacts to things.

her being added to lifesteal has helped the server grow immensely and given them so many more opportunities as a server and as individual ccs on the server that they simply never would have had if not for hannah yet i very rarely see it be acknowledged by fans or ccs other than smt that is mentioned in passing which is sad to me bc she Deserves to be more publicly appreciated for all that she does for the server yk?

idk bro i feel like i yapped up a storm im so sorry for saying All This on ur post my dear beloved mutual rinterello but its smt ive been thinking abt a lot for Awhile now and i saw the chance to say smt piggybacking off of the tags here so 🥹🥹🥹

so everyone already has said this but i hate how they constantly leave hannah out of everything and treat her awfully just because she exists ^^ like she's not the one who lost her teammate and has the most reasons to be the one who should be part of the team And ban bacon (yeah zamwaffles are great but can we talk about crashouts and how their relationships evolved from mutual hatred to respect and love and bacon saying that the worst part about the warden project is leaving hannah?).

i really appreciate mapicc's efforts to include hannah and make her feel valued and welcomed on the team. like maybe she will have less reasons to betray if you treat her as an equal.

i hope next week she kills 6 people :3c and one of them will be derapchu :3c and she will be a strong beautiful girlboss with 20 hearts and a good team.

[sammy8d257]

"What do you get when you mix blue and pink together?"

"A mess."

-

Aka the horrors of realizing, for better or for worse, you are your parents

[heyimkana]

Sung Jinwoo by Tomoko Sudo 🐐