#Book nine sounds intresting

[cosmosweirdstop]

Book six!!

Planning on finishing it tonight and moving to book 7!

[no-where-new-hero]

On this fine Sunday afternoon, I shall sit down with my scripture (Emily of New Moon) and perform my devotions (catch up on book club commentary). In the interest of space, I'll try to keep this short.

Chapter 9: A Special Providence

The knack of turning this novel epistolary with the Father letters is one of LMM's best narrative decisions because she is, at heart, a voice writer, and I just saw in the lovely interview on craft that @gogandmagog posted that LMM loved writing in first person despite discouragement from her editors, so this way she gets to have her cake and eat it too. She also establishes Emily as a woman of text, specifically, as opposed to Anne, who got away with first person narration through non-stop chatter. Emily as a character is much quieter and more introverted, so her ability to blither through letter-writing kills many birds with one stone. It's also astronomically funny.

"I felt so insulted that I came up to the garret and wrote a deskription of myself being drowned on a letter-bill and then I felt better." Legitimately, Emily has died so much in her imagination in the course of nine chapters. You'd think her self-dramatization would be for good things, but no, she gets her revenge on people through self-destruction. Which is very funny as a child but also sets up her depressive nature as an adult very well.

Chapter 10: Growing Pains

Reading Rhoda's betrayal hurts every time! Also since the last time I read this, I went through a Rhoda experience of my own, soooo yeah not fun. Interestingly, I think Rhoda is the only one who gets a definite birthday other than Emily in the whole book. She doesn't reflect well on Cancers 💀

"Just cut a good big bang. Lots of the girls have their hair banged clean from the crown of their heads." This description always confused me because that kind of style sounds like a description of the "Dutch boy bob" that only came into fashion 30 years later (in the 20s). Also when I Googled hair being "shingled" it's basically also a bob? Maybe more of what we'd consider a pixie cut today, though it seems to be referred to as a "shingle bob" and therefore close enough to what Emily would have wanted. (I am a bit obsessed by how the "Pringle shingle" anticipated the 90s Winona Ryder style pixie cut craze). Though of course Aunt Elizabeth wouldn't have done this cut with any style in any case lol.

Chapter 11: Ilse

Emily aka Jane Eyre fanfiction strikes again. This is, though, a rare instance of New Moon itself being hostile to Emily in a way that isn't ever shown elsewhere. Though the house represents the motherliness that Emily lacks from people, it also has its dark patches that Emily must rebel against, though she only thinks she rebelling against Aunt Elizabeth.

Oh, Ilse my beloved. She has many endearing lines that show the depth of her neglect, but I think this one hit most for me this time: "And you won't be ashamed of me because my clothes are always queer and because I don't believe in God?" I also love how both she and Emily know exactly what their futures will be at this moment and both succeed in them.

Chapter 12: The Tansy Patch

I never focus much on the descriptions in this book because they come thick and fast, but I noticed this time how many flowers grow around the Tansy Patch, nearly suffocating the built structures. This is a place of surface beauty if festering neglect--much like Mrs. Kent's treatment of Teddy.

"He washes the dishes for her and helps her in all the house work. Ilse says the boys in school call him sissy for that but I think it is noble and manley of him." LMM saying fuck gender roles.

"I guess Ilse wants Teddy to like her best but she is not a jellus girl." The love triangle begins.

"I read the story of Red Riding Hood to-day. I think the wolf was the most intresting caracter in it. Red Riding Hood was a stupid little thing so easily fooled." RIP Emily Starr, you would have loved Angela Carter.

Reader, I did not keep this short. Second post incoming soon.

[lilikags]

Hello dear! I just absolutely adore your little Teyvat Matchmaking series you have and I'd love to participate! So this is my formal request! First off, you can call me M, I am female, I stand about 5'2 (and ¾ but who's keeping track?). I have short orange hair with black roots, bright green eyes, fair skin, and I wear black rectangular cateyed glasses (cuz a b cant see-)

Personality wise, I am very scatterbrained, loud, opinionated, and confident through and through. Though, and I don't mean to sound snotty, I am humble behind this rough exterior of loud bubbliness. I am really sweet and caring once you get to know me and I am very emotional though I try to not let my emotions control me! On the flipside though, I have trust issues and a smidge of overwhelming anxiety. With that being said, I will not hesitate to cut a b off. If you treat me right, I'll treat you right thats all there is too it. I love to joke and am very sarcastic as well and some people see it as off putting so I try to tone it down but nine times out of ten it doesn't work but oh well!

My intrests consist of Reading, dabbling in writing, trying new foods, but most importantly of all, I L O V E art. Painting, sketching, digital art, literally anything Im on it. I love creating! My likes consist of: Fuzy blankets, warm weather, cats, flowery and earthy smelling candles, and talking with people about anything under the sun. My dislikes consist of: rude people, the texture of velvet, cold weather, and sour food.

My friends describe me as someone who would do well in a fight, a good advice giver and overall a really good listener despite how much I like to ramble. I truly am the wine mom friend of the group but just a smidge sweeter than most.

In a relationship the key thing I look for is someone who can compliment me and my sarcastic humor. I believe that I deserved to be treated with respect and like a princess but only if I treat my lover like a prince. Im confrentational so if I have an issue within the relationship I try to think it over and then I bring it up politely. I am a firm beliver that men shouldnt always pay for meals and that relationships are strictly 50/50. Forehead kisses and cuddles are my priorty when it comes to affection and not only for me. Guys deserve forehead kisses too, dang it!!! So do with that information as you please!

I hope thats enough information to match me with someone. I would like to be matched male character. Thank you for taking the time to read this and if you end up writing a pairing for me, thank you x2!

-M♡

Status ; check before req

Req Rules

Lili, Teyvat’s Goddess of Love, matches you with...

⁺ You two are so cute together! I can (kinda) just see it and like >w<

⁺ The two are you are both sort of loud, you’re kind of a loud couple and no one really minds that much. (Zhongli is studying your relationship and sipping tea) 

⁺ The both of you are humble and down-to-earth inside, and that’s something you can both relate to, which you both appreciate.

⁺ Childe loves how you’re so sweet and caring. He thinks it’s absolutely adorable, and he loves that so much about you.

⁺ Childe is great with emotions- not really great with the emotions per se, but good at controlling his actions when he’s emotional as long as it’s not fighting excitement. He’ll be able to calm you down when you’re emotional.

⁺ You didn’t trust him right away, and nor did he. He had a lot of secrets to hide, but the two of you kept spending time together, and you developed a great trust. When the two of you got together, he told you all about his job as a harbinger for the Tsarista, and you accepted that. You knew he was from Sneznaya, and you accepted him as he was.

⁺ He treats you like a princess, and you treat him like a prince in return. He likes that, and the feeling is returned. 

⁺ He finds your jokes funny, he kind of has a similar type of humor himself.

⁺ You and Childe read books together. You’ll buy two copies of the book, one for you and one for him. You’ll read and discuss the book together, and it’s really enjoyable.

⁺ He loves reading your drabbles; he’ll make either funny comments or good constructive criticism. 

⁺ Childe will take you out to every good restaurant he can find to try their food. He’ll take you out for lunch or dinner, and you’ll come up with a review of their food.

⁺ Childe would request for you to draw him, he’ll tease you about it from time to time, but if you don’t want to, he won’t force it. He’ll take you out on dates in the city or a little outside, to find some interesting things and scenery to draw or paint. 

⁺ You love creating little trinkets for him, and he keeps all of them. He thinks they’re adorable and he’d do almost anything to keep them safe. 

⁺ He will buy you a large fluffy blanket to snuggle under. He loves physical affection, and a fluffy blanket is amazing. 

⁺ He’ll definitely adopt a cat with you if you want. He thinks they’re absolutely adorable and he’d love to have one. You’d take care of it more often though; he’s kind of busy with missions and comes back late.

⁺ Childe will buy you a plethora of winter clothes so you don’t feel cold in the winter. They’re all fashionable and warm and of the highest quality.

⁺ He will glare at any rude people and that will scare them off.

⁺ He will come to you for advice. He has good judgement, but when he can’t make a decision, he’d definitely come to you first.m

⁺ When he comes back late, he’ll smother you with forehead kisses and you’d sleepily return them.

[corvidii]

so i was on tiktok and saw this video by gen z's science teaching father figure, hank green

(dont mind the tint its for my eyes lol)

and i thought the questiom was intresting so after like half an hr of research i came to the hypothesis: if you could stick helium up your butt (which according to reddit you can do safely using "fart fetish videos" [ops words not mine]), the fart would be higher pitched.

(disclaimer: the next part may sound weird and i apologize for that pls do not attack me it is not possible to write about as8holes and not sound weird)

why? well both farts and oral sound come from the muscles vibrations (vocal tract for voice and sphichter muscles for fart). when you inhale helium, the helium just makes it so the sound frequencies become faster, then increasing the pitch or timbre idk there were different sources saying different things of the sound in the soundbox. applying this knowledge to farts, the vibrations from your butt muscles around the rectum give off the sound, and if the air was helium mostly, the sound waves would be faster and higher pitched. so in theory, sticking helium up ur a88 would work to make ur farts pitch higher, though making ur butthole smaller just by using ur muscles and forcing as little air out as possible would work as well for that purpose (i think none of these have been tested)

fun facts about flatulence i learned while searching this information up:

- the more clenched up ur butthole is, the louder ur farts gonna be

- the best way to walk away from ur fart without people knowing that you did it is to walk forward at a moderately fast speed (not too slow then yll still be near it not to fast then the smell will spread more) or if ur in a windier place then walk sideways into the winds direction

- farts contain some hydrogen gas and methane which are both flammable and can be set on fire. if a fart is made up of enough of those two elements or whatever, the fart can be set on fire. do not try this mutals for your own sake and mine.

i know this was a super weird thing to research but im procrastinating on reading the nine books ive started and rearranging my room :)

[ayla-221bee]

In The Most Delightful Way- Mystrade short fics/ drabbles - Newspaper : University AU

Mycroft had thought that he would have enjoyed university.

If he had to be honest, Mycroft preferred some aspects of university than others. He rather enjoyed the educational aspect of university. It was the first time in years that he had been academically challenged. He liked the large library and he could spend hours finding textbooks to read for leisure.

He did not enjoy being with other students. He found the majority of them to be loud, obnoxious, and painfully dull at times. He found it frustrating how some students did not make an effort in lectures and how they asked for his notes as they had been out the night before .

The kitchen that he shared with five other students was in a constant state of chaos. There seemed to be an unofficial competition for who could pile the most dishes in the sink before someone had to wash them . Another completion or how long the bin could go unemptied. Mycroft often broke after day two and cleaned up the mess, it bothered him terribly . Mycroft kept his luxury goods hidden in his bedroom and kept his favourite mug in his desk. He had the suspicion that someone was stealing his teabags even though he had written his name on the box. It was impossible to sleep some nights, especially on the weeks. He was convinced that the students who lived on the floor above wore shoes made of led and practised tap dancing right before he wanted to sleep .

He felt homesick in the first week of university and missed his brother terribly . Mycroft would never admit that information to anyone- it was far too embarrassing. He knew that Sherlock would tease him terribly if he found that piece of information out.

In the attempt to stop himself dwelling about how much he missed his family, Mycroft reluctantly decided to act on his mother's advice .

Mummy told him that he should go to the student union and try and be ' social.'  Mycroft was not sure what being 'social' entailed but he followed his mother's instructions and had taken up to reading the newspapers in the student union every morning . Mycroft had the feeling that mummy had expected him to go to the union during the evening and interact with other students while slightly intoxicated, but she did seem rather thrilled that he visited the student union every morning to read the paper instead of hiding in his bedroom all day with his books .

Each morning before the library opened at nine o'clock, Mycroft visited the student union without fail . He rather liked visiting the union at that time in the morning, hardly anyone was there. The newspapers had not been touched by anyone else and the pages were not wrinkled. Mycroft also enjoyed chatting to the attractive student with the charming grin when he ordered his tea and his croissant every morning .

Going to the student union, especially on days when Greg was working was often the highlight of his day.

He had never thought that anyone in an apron could be so attractive. There was an odd feeling in his stomach when Greg flashed him a smile from the counter when he walked into the union each morning . He always ended up chatting to Greg for quite some time by the till each morning. He was convinced that going to sit down in the comfortable armchair, felt almost painful at times. He could hardly talk at times and his face and his ears would turn pink each time that Greg complimented the jumper that he wore or told him to have a good day .

Once he had sat down, Mycroft would hide his pink cheeks with the newspaper, occasionally glancing over the top of it to admire Greg at the counter .

He couldn't get his hopes up, he doubted that Greg would ever be intrested .

Mycroft believed that his appearance had improved somewhat in the summer before he went off to university . He had managed to slim down considerably , even if his daily habit of croissants from the student union cafe was counterproductive at times . He had discovered hair product and artificially darkened his hair, and he had taken up to dressing better . His nose was still rather hawkish for his liking but he always congratulated himself each morning when Greg complimented his choice of jumper every morning or told him that he looked 'rather scholarly ,' on the days that he wore his glasses .

On a rare occasion, Mycroft felt rather brave and confident. On those mornings, he found himself determined to ask Greg if he wanted to go for a coffee. He put the idea out of his head each time as he thought that it would be bad taste to ask someone who worked in a cafe if they wanted to go out for a coffee . He doubted that Greg would be interested and he knew that he wouldn't be able to summon up the courage to speak to Greg without sounding like a fool . He often found himself terribly tongue twisted when Greg spoke to him.

On one particularly quiet morning, Mycroft was thrilled to discover that he was the only student in the union cafe and that Greg was behind the counter . He wasn't too sure if he was imagining things, but he was rather convinced that Greg was as thrilled to see him as well.

Greg made his tea and warmed up his croissant without Mycroft even having to order. As usual, Mycroft blushed terribly when Greg complimented his jumper and gave him that charming gin that turned his knees into jelly . He stayed at the till for longer than usual and chatted to Greg, laughing harder than he should at a stupid joke that Greg made . He practically swooned when Greg talked about his essay he was working on Oscar Wilde's poetry and talked about Wilde as if he was an old friend .

That particular morning, it nearly felt impossible to leave the till and sit in the armchair even if his tea was getting rather cold . He somehow managed to force himself to sit down in his favourite armchair and pretended to read the newspaper, occasionally looking over the top to catch glimpses of Greg .

"Alright if I join you?"

Mycroft let out a small noise that resembled a squeak when he was dragged out of his thoughts. He pretended to clear his throat to hide the rather embarrassing noise that he had made, but Greg had seemed rather amused by it .

"I'm on my break and there's no one else here," Greg said, "I thought that I might sit on one of the comfortable chairs for once." He pushed over a packet of shortbread biscuits as if they would influence his decision.

"That would be perfect...I would not mind in the slightest," Mycroft said rather quickly and feared that he founded too keen . He could already feel his cheeks start to burn terribly and felt more flustered that he would have liked to be. He pretended to read the newspaper once he was convinced that he was making a fool of himself the more that he attempted to speak .

It was at that moment Mycroft had the sudden desire to never return to the student union and to perhaps move to Nepal and live as a goat with how much he had embarrassed himself .

He had fully expected Greg to suddenly change his mind and take his break elsewhere, however , Greg had remained and started to talk about Wilde once more . It was the first time in Mycroft's life that he was rather pleased to be wrong.

Mycroft left the student union cafe when he realised that he was at risk of being rather late for his afternoon lecture .

He found it rather odd how Greg had been rather insistent on him keeping the newspaper that he had failed to read, conversation with Greg had been far too enjoyable and flowed easily between them and he had lost track of the time, he barely had a look through the main headlines . He had tried to give money for the paper but Greg refused to take any of it and told him that he should visit the union later on .

Mycroft attempted to read the newspaper outside the lecture hall and stopped reading at the first page .

He noticed on the top of the newspaper in biro was a phone number accompanied by the message of ' call me :) ' scrawled in messy handwriting .

Mycroft grinned to himself as he walked into the lecture hall.

********************

Currently taking prompts if anyone is interested and I will try to fill them for you! 

[brett-keane-watch]

“Brett Keane Dead” Transcript (of Latest Brett Keane Video)

Hello ladies and gentlemen my name is Brett Keane from god-TV-radio-dot-com.

mheeef (breathing)

ummm... I'm going to be... getting off the internet, and I am in'erested in doing X-box one ecksss. Yesss...

mheeef (breathing)

That's coming out in November sev-seventh two-thousand seventeen. Yes, yes; four ninety-nine. (Italicized text indicates some retarded impersonation).

Heaahk (breathing)

If anyone would like to help me get the ecks-box, you can do some donations, do some support-short gasp- and send money veai (VIA) my paypal and that'l help me get my machine in November. Short gasp I'm gonna be giving my old computer over to my wife, so I won't be making videos anymore, I won't be working orn my website any further- that'l be that.

mhfff (breathing)

I had planed aurn (on) leaving youtube just a little while back, gasp, I didn't have nothing to do. Short breath , I was bored- whenever I'm not going out places with my family or watching movies or reading a book...

mhfff (breathing)

...umm, besides video games... I had nothing that I could do that was fun or exciting-quick breath, my brother- he's constantly doing his thing, so I wasn't able to do music with 'im.

mheefff (breathing)

So I got bored and from time to time every once in a blue moon I'd upload a video and put it up, short breath, and that was that.

mfheeef (breathing)

Once I get my ecks box one, I have some games in mind that I am looking forward to playin' short breath, and, uh, that will be that.

mhff (breathing)

Some people might wanna know why is it that I wanna leave youtube. Well, it is pretty obvious but, for those who might be new, who see this last video short breath, this will be the last video uploaded.

mheefff (quiet breathing)

Youtube is, quick exhale, for me is not a social place anymore. I originally came so I could make friends, talk to people, bla bla blah. Quick breath- but I've had to turn my comment section off becuz popular youtubers have decided to...

mheefff (breathing)

...uuh, make me their pincushion, their punching bag. Umm, as well as other people- 'course I'm no special snowflake.

mheefff (breathing)

...but becuz of dis, people who supported me, people who are my friends, decided that they don't wanna leave comments anymore- because if they did, then they got insulted or attacked.

mheefff (breathing)

So I just ended up turning off comments for the longest time, and since then I had not been able to have good conversations with people or talk, chat, which is what I like to do.

mheefff (breathing)

People trolled me non-stop in my live rooms...exhale...uhhh, either by yelling or screaming at me or putting up live porn.

mheefff (breathing)

And that was that...

mheefff (breathing)

...I guess we can talk a little bit about some of the issues orn why it is that Brett Keane has had such a hard time orn, ahhh, youtube.

mheefff (breathing)

To throw it out there...

mheefff (breathing)

...when I originally started orn youtube one of the things that I did that annoyed the piss out of people is asking for donations...

mheefff (breathing)

...asking for people to subscribe to my channel... I had people who would make over twenty videos within a month...

mheefff (breathing)

...about me sayin dat people like me shouldn't be asking for support. People like me shouldn't be for money, people like me

shouldn't be lip smack alongside breath, aoooh... asking for people to like up a video or subscribe and bla bla blah.

mheefff (breathing)

Now it's ten years later and everybody orn the fuckin' planet is doing the exactly the same thing that I did that everybody got to hate me for.

exhale mheefff (breathing)

Some people actually listened and took my advice and now they're making a living orn the internet and making a living off their videos...

mheefff (breathing)

...some of them, exhale, people who've made themselves to be my enemy...

mheefff (breathing)

...I had no choice in the matter...

mheefff (breathing)

...but that's pretty much the big reason, that's the big reason why a lot of people started orn me...

... mheefff (breathing)

...also they enjoy making fun of my voice and my accent and such. At one point in time they used to think I had a radio voice- but not anymore!

mhhff (breathing), placing something on table

Now we just make fun of every fuckin' word I say and big deal out of it and fab-rikate and eksajerate everything I say.

matress sounds,mheefff (breathing)

So that's it. That'sss going to be the end of it...

MHEFFF (loud breathing)

umm..., I guess I'll talk about some things that...

mheefff (breathing)

uhhh..., annoy me. That I've been wanting to get off my chest. Really nothing to do with youtube or internet social media anymore...

mheefff (breathing)

...I've gotten tired of Sony... quick exhale...ummm, as you guys know I was runnin' an old PS4 back in here that I'mma be givin' to mah boi...

mheefff (breathing)

...ummm, I originally got Sony exhale...because they announced that Fallout and games like Skyrim were going to have mods...

mheefff (breathing)

...but then Sony, basically took a shit orn that.

mheefff (breathing)

And now only Pee-C and ecks box gets the decent mods. So that angered me. Sony has refused to refund money for games that they sold me that are fuckin' broke...

... mheefff (breathing)

...and uh, quick exhale, also Sony seems to be very greedy.

mheefff (breathing)

They have PS4 and almost ummidietly after started selling slim and den a PS4 pro...

mheefff (breathing)

...and uh ecks box is gonna end up blowin' dem up out of da fuckin' water. Ecks box seems like it's progressing more towards...

mheefff (breathing)

...things that we want.

mheefff (breathing)

I'm not gonna be playing elder scrolls online anymore.

mhff (breathing)

I feel like the company, Bethesda, had plenty of time to...

mheefff (breathing)

...add more in'eresting features for the game. I thought that they were going to attempt to do like Skyrim and Fallout...

mheefff (breathing)

... where it feels like an actual world but they haven't...

mheefff (breathing)

...it's almost been five years now and they still haven't even gotten around to adding children into the game.

mheefff (breathing)

If you play Fallout...

mheefff (breathing)

...you'll realize right away that you've got children that are settlers, you got children that run around in diamond city...

mheefff (breathing)

...and Skyrim, you got kids who are asking you for help running around in the cities. Whiterun and all that shit.

mheefff (breathing)

Elder scrolls does not have this. Exhale ummm....

...(fan in background) mheefff (breathing)

...the game doesn't have too many random events...

mheefff (breathing)

...and the...game seems like it has ten enemies in the entire vast world that you're runnin' around in.

mheefff (breathing)

ummm...exhale I don't know, it's just- it seems dead. Uhhh, the environments are nice but the...

mheefff (breathing)

...characters...ehh...just...it-it lost it's steam, no fun to it anymore.

mheefff (breathing)

SniffSo yeah, exhale yep, I got some ideas and I've got my eye out orn some games- so if anybody wants to support me...

mheefff (breathing)

...I would like to get a-the ecks box for mah birtday comming up as well as christmas... and that will be all that I want.

mheefff (breathing)

I don't really want anything else...

exhale

...Sniff, my brother he may still every once in a while upload some music videos to his channel. Make sure you check him out, subscribe to 'im.

mheefff (breathing)

Whenever, some people are gonna be like Brett- but aren't you a christian? Aren't you supposed to be sowing seeds and talking about god and all that? I think that I've got enough material about god orn my twitter, my facebook. I...uhhh...my youtube channel...

mheefff (breathing)

...ummm...as well as website for all you guys to look at. I'm gonna leave all my god videos up...

mheefff (breathing)

...I've said everything I'm gonna possibly say about god and religion and all this. Inaudible, right now this is more of...

mheefff (breathing)

...umm... if you ever wanna change or get saved or find god and everything this is something you're gonna have to do orn your own. You can't be talked into god.

lip smack, mheefff (breathing)

You have to be in'erested in truth...

mheefff (breathing)

...and I feel like I've said and done everything I possibly can quick breath- and to be honest with you, that's one of the reasons why I'm leaving youtube because...I'm tired of talking to other christians and trying to be friendly with them...

mheefff (breathing)

...make friends with people of other religion...

mheefff (breathing)

...and then find out that because their views are so diffrent from my own about god that they refuse to hang out or talk or socialize. They don't want to be around anybody...

mheefff (breathing)

...who is religious or spiritual but has a different walk than them- and of course there's atheists. I can't get along with any of these fuckin' people... becausee they don't want to be around people who don't think like them or agree with them on things. If you don't then you're stupid in their eyes...

tumbling around in bed

...and when it comes to other people's religion...

sniff...mheefff (breathing)

...but the, the two out there that I find myself getting along with the most are, belive it or not, satanists and pagans- but I don't plan orn becoming a satanist or pagan...

mheefff (breathing)

...I'm just sayin' when it comes to respectful quick exhale demeanor or behavior these folks...tend to give me the respect that is deserved.

...sniff...mheefff (breathing)

...And that's that. Umm,breathing some people be like "what if drunken peasants wants you to get orn the show"?...

mheefff (breathing)

...Well even if they offered me ten billion dollars I'm not gonna have a computer anymore- I'm going to give my microphone, my computer microphone, over to my brother...

mheefff (breathing)

...and my Pee-C is going to go over to my wife. She's gonna, have...

mheefff (breathing) ...fun and do whatever the hell she wants to do with it.

mheefff (breathing)

She'll most likely have no intrest in uploading videos or doing anything like that. See, you will not be hearing from the Keane family- Justin is the only one...

mheefff (breathing)

...and that's if he even feels like botherin' with it.

mheefff (breathing)

He's got a... baby daughter now...

mheefff (breathing)

...so...

mheefff (breathing)

...he's got his hands full and between takin' care of his child and hanging out with his woman and working...

mheefff (breathing)

...he's uh... you know, he's a vey busy man exhale; and that's that.

... mheefff (breathing)

All right, well anybody that wants to help support... or uh, help get the machine...

mheefff (breathing)

...some of you've been very fucking nasty to me. Other's you've emailed me and you've apologized for your behavior and all that...

mheefff (breathing)

...well that's nice and wonderful, but many of you out there have fucked up my interests in youtube.

mhff (breathing)

But it's not just the people, it's not just the constant trolling or the annoyances- it's also youtube has demonitized every one of my fuckin' videos and they say that they will not review any of my videos unless I hit a thousand views.

mheefff (breathing)

A lot of people have left youtube, both nonbeliver and religious because of that.

mheefff (breathing)

They've made it almost impossible to advertize yourself of promote your work in any kind of way. It's, uh, only the people out there that are fuckin' rich who got the money to sit around and pay for advertisment and all that shit or the ones that are stickin' around...

mheh (breathing)

...who actually think they can still make a job or buisness of it. As for me, there is no social outcome.

mheefff (breathing)

There's, there's nothing. I'm outta here, I've got plenty of cool shit to do in my real life...

mheefff (breathing)

...I hope that you all find god... and I hope that you all have a happy life, gaud bless.

[dontbeallupinmyfriesdawg]

Fake Kalijah dating to ditch her exs...go ;)

“Pick out a suit, I need someone to go with to this and you’re it handsome,” 

Elijah looked up weerily from the document on his desk he was hunched over. Katherine stood hovering over him, a trademark look of impatience plastered on her face; clasped tightly between her manicured fingernails she held a small embroidered card with her name on it. Elijah put down his pen and glanced over at the time in the corner of his laptop screen.

“And good morning to you Katerina,” he murmered, both amusement and exhaustion evident in his tone.

Katherine rolled her eyes and thrust the piece of paper towards him. He took it reluctantly

“You are cordially invited to a special benefit gala hosted by the soon to be Mr & Mrs Lockwood. Black tie, non optional. We look forward to having you in attendance. Please give generously,” Elijah read out.

“Can you belive how obnoxius that is. What kind of sadistic bastard does something like this?” Katherine hissed under her breath, making herself confortable on one of the near by chairs.

“Am I right in assuming were discussing Mason Lockwood, your recent paramour and not the junior executive that collected my coffee order this morning,” Elijah queeried, turning his attention back to his paperwork; having already aticipated the answer before he got it.

“Yes, Mason. My ex fiance Mason? Cheif executive douchebag; that one.”

“And he has personally... invited you to this.. event?”

“It says my name right there in big fancy letters Elijah,” Katherine said irritably, getting up and pacing around the room.

Elijah exhaled longsufferingly, and put down his pen for the second time. 

“Katherine. I wish I had the time to go around in circles with you but I simply do not. Why don’t you explain the purpose of this visit so we can both get back to our respective responsibilities,”

Katherine turned and pouted at him.

“You make it sound as I’m bothering you,”

“Well if I said as much you’d be rather upset with me,”

Katherine’s face contorted into a scowl and Elijah had to stifle the urge to laugh. In truth Katherine was a welcome distraction from the pile of working mounting on his desk. In fact, Katherine was a welcome distraction period. His incovinient fixation with her hand’t dwindled since her and her nine inch louboutins had strutted through the front doors of the company five years ago. In his head Elijah knew having something so juvenille as a crush on a fellow coworker was unproffensional as well as foolhardy - after all the chances that he was anywhere near Katherine’s type was laughable - but his heart, however, acted of it’s own accord and refused to adere to his brain’s sensible instruction.

Hence why Katherine had spent the last 5 years barging into to his office demanding favours of every vairety and he hadn’t had the cajones yet, to turn her down and why he was most likely going to agree to whatever unreasonable favour Katherine demanded of him this time around.

“It’s simple,” Katherine huffed. “This eveing-,” She picked the card off of the desk as she spoke. “-is going to be a shit show. I’m going to have to watch my ex. Parading a around with some slut supermodel named Nadia, showing off a ring that should beon my hand; wearing an expensive dress Mason should have bought for me; fake smiling at people that I’m supposed to be pretending to care about. Why would Mason do this to me?!”

“Prehaps he’s extending an olive branch of sorts,” Elijah suggested, reclining backward in his chair. Inwardly very displeased that he was spending his morning discussing Katherine’s ex fiance. His least favourite topic, being that he was a man who had been the main source of his misery for the three short months they were engaged. 

After Mason had ended thing with Katherine in a very messy, very public way, Elijah had very privately rejoiced and Katherine, in retaliation had maxed out Mason’s black card before he’d had the chance to cancel it or demand it back, in order to ‘heal’ after the break up as well as keying his car and manipulating her way into a better position at the company so he couldn’t fire her even if he wanted to; Elijah had believed that would be the last he’d hear of the entire debacle.

Apparently not.

“He can take his Olive branch and shove it up his ass!” Katherine seethed. “This is gloating, this is him flashing his bimbo trophy girlfriend in my face,”

“So decline the invitation,” Elijah sighed looking down at his watch and ajusting it on his wrist.

Katherine stared at him as if he’d just proposed they attempt on assasination on the Pope.

“Have you not been listening to a word I’ve said?”

“I have but feigning intrest is a little above my skillset,”

Katherine narrowed her eyes giving them an even more catlike appearence, as she drew nearer to the desk.

“If I don’t go, then I’m the bitter and jealous ex. If I go alone I’m the pathetic spinster. It’s trap.” she griped.

“You arent trying to convince me that the Katherine Pierce, is unable to find herself a suitable date in order to conduct this pissing contest, for lack of a better word, with Mason at this charity event,” Elijah asked.

Katherine gave him a wry smile.

“Well obviously not. But I need someone of your refined pedigree and excellent taste in suits on my arm when I turn up to Mason’s sad little event looking like the most expensive thing in the room,”

Reminding Katherine that she wasn’t an object was on the tip of Elijahs tongue but he restrained himself and instead said.

“So want me to allow you to parade me around. in order to antagonize a man who is in all technicality my boss. All out of some persuit for petty revenge?”

“Bigger picture Elijah,” Katherine insisted. He winced as she uncerimoniously launched herself onto his desk, disregaurding any papers or stationary in her wake.

“You’re up for a premotion right?”

Elijah’s brows knitted skeptically.

“How-”

“-I have my rescources,” Katherine brushed him off.

“The point I’m making here is if Mason’s throwing a party, chances are the other company execs and higher ups are gonna be on the guest list too. You’re smart Elijah but you lack one thing that Mason doesnt.”

Elijah schooled his face so it wouldn’t be visibily evident what a dig to his ego that statement was and arched a eyebrow.

“I’m sure you’re about to tell me what that it is.” He replied disinterestedly.

“Ambition,” Katherine said bluntly.

“I have a first class buissness degree from Harvard,” Elijah protested.

Katherine scoffed.

“Yeah you and half of America.”

Elijah let out a slightly disgruntled noise, unable to hide his displeasure at Katherine’s comments and shifted unconfortably.

“You play it safe. You rely on your private education and ettiquete book to take you where you want. But people like Mason, they’re sharks; they have no shame about hosting an extravagant event in order to kiss ass or hook line and sinker a client. Whether it’s at a charity event or a strip club,”

Elijah let out a slightly strangled noise.

“See that’s what I’m talking about. I bet those squeaky clean italian shoes probably havent even step foot near a ‘gentleman’s club’ before,” she smirked.

“Believe you me men who frequent those sorts of establishments are anything but gentlemen.” 

“Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty to win.” Katherine countered. “Why do you think you’re not on the guest list hmm? Mason knows you’re up for that job. He’s probably going to let his snot nosed nephew surpass you and land him the job instead and then you’ll be taking his coffee orders. Is that what you want?”

Elijah scrubbed his hand over his face and sighed.

“Katerina as usual your flair for being overly melodramatic has interfered with your sense of reason,”

Katherine face soured. She rose from her seat and looked at Elijah squarely. 

“Just consider it.” she said quietly. “I’m presenting you with an oppurtunity. I’m giving you an in. Not to mention the chance to have moi on the tender crook of your arm-”

Elijah stifled an undignified snort.

“-And if that isn’t enough to sway you, I heard that associate from legal you were cozy with might be there,”

Elijah blinked in suprise. He hadn’t realised Katherine was aware of his relationship with Gia. The notion unsettled him even though he knew it shouldn’t.

“Think it over,” Katherine threw over her shoulder as she slipped out of the room. Her brown curls bouncing behind her.

[tiafrye]

“22 seconds” - Rydaal [G]

Well, little something I’ve build from the last dialogue, on English from the start (which is not my native language at all), but these two was helping me voicing their parts. It’s awful xD And without a proper redaction. But, anyway.

Tagging @octobig and @reignitedn7 who was intrested in this stuff.

They've returned from Havarl to the Tempest at late night, but with all these grim clouds and endless raining Sara really couldn't tell. The amount of hours she spent running around, ready to give a hand to anyone in need was significant though, and it was all that matter. They was also lucky to stumble onto some turians from missing ark 'Natanus', or better say she was lucky, before anyone from the crew, still bitter after Aya, starting to be vocal about her helping the angara. And, to put it lightly, she was very eager to help them. Especially after hearing from one very specific person that he was born on Havarl, which is now dying. Well, was dying, before she almost killed herself dosens of times (local flora, local fauna, locals) to reactivate the planet's Vault. At the end it was worth it. Not even because of the new outpost or scientific cooperation between races. With a corner of her eye Sara saw that the cause of her sudden hard working is smiling at her, warm enough to melt the whole Voeld to it's original apperance, while she was talking with Addison via intercom. She've read enough books and saw enough action between her collegues when excavations was getting long and lonely to know where this is going. "Yes, the level of endorphine in your system assumes you to be hightly infatuated with envoy Ama Darav", - SAM's robotic voice murmurs at the back of her mind in their private channel. - "Which is curious considering your personal history and lack of intrest in any form of romantic relationship for almost 3 years, your time in cryogenic stasis excluded". - Thank you for... making me feel even more uneasy about it, SAM, - Sara mumbled nerviosly. - Expecially when I'm waiting for our honored envoy to make a very important diplomatic call together. - I'm far from 'honored' part, but thank you regardless. If you're worrying about Evfra - don’t. He's sure be pleased with everything that you've accomplished here. She almost jumped in place at the sound of his voice. Leaving the stairs, Jaal lazily crossed the comm room and stopped at arm's lenght beside the Pathfinder. He was accompanying her the whole day and almost seemed as tired as Sara with an exception of successfully avoiding an urge to yawn or stretch. Though he failed miserably when his interlocutor did yawn at last. - What WE did, and cirtainly not without your help, - she told him after uncomfortable laugh and quiet "sorry" from both parties. - Your people wouldn't let us to come closer than a shot distance to Havarl if not for you. - They're sure glad they did after the Vault is now back online. Should we call for Evfra now? It went as well as it could be, all things considered. "Just one more step", - Sara told herself. - "Or another nine thousand if nessesary". They've briefly discussed the rescue mission before parting, Jaal's on his way to the tech lab, Sara's staying to give some sweet treats to the pyjak hanging happily on the rails. She discovers that Jaal's hesitating to leave after offering her pet a shoulder to climb on. - Pathfinder, - the angara asks insinuatingly. - Can I outspeak a personal observation? - Sure, - she nods, petting space monkey's soft ears. - What's on your mind? - I've been talking to some members of the crew and, according to Liam, you've been dead for 22 seconds after your unfortunate visit of Habitat-7. It's one second for every year of the life that you've lived till that moment. - That's... an interesting way to put it, Jaal. And? - And after that you've literally been reborn here, in Heleus. I was wondering why you're fighting so hard, Ryder. It's became clearer now. On a spiritual level this place is more... like a home to you than to anybody else who came here with the Initiative. She silently gasped at the thought. - Maybe. Or maybe I'm simply freaking out because of what my brother will think about all of this once he's awake. I told him about our father’s fate, but lied about our new home. It's just... I want to make it true, you know? As soon as possible. - So you won't be a liar? - Yeah. So I won't be a liar, - Sara said, raising her head after hearing a soft chuckle from his side. - What's funny? - You tried to sound selfish, but even then you just don't want to ruin other person's dream. That's truly remarkable, Ryder, - he gave her THAT smile once again before continue his way onto the lower level. - Have a good night. Chewing her lower lip, she quietly sighed, making sure his footsteps are far gone now: - Or maybe because I'm stupidly in love with you.

[savemeships-blog]

GenderSwap: Chapter Nine

Word count: 1526 

The two marauders on their way to go get Carter come into a little trouble, but before that Sirius drags Peter through the dark corridors. Not wanting to get caught they both very steadily sneak their way around the corridors doing this too many times before. The two boys stop when they hear the shuffling of Argus Filch. Sirius turns to Peter who then holds his finger to his pink lips silencing him. Peter nods walking backwards a bit, the poor small boy didn't that there was a column in the way, so he lets out a small yelp and almost instantaneously covers his mouth with his hands. Sirius throws his friend a glare.

"Who's there?" Mr. Filch calls. Peter looks panicked while Sirius remains calm; he signals his friends to very slowly walk backwards. Doing what he's told Peter walks backwards. Knowing where to go, he runs quietly to the corner where it always seems to always be dark, day or night. The curly haired boy follows, his heart beating out of his chest while doing so. They both move their bodies as far as they can against the cold stone wall. "Students out of bed," Mr. Filch mumbles walking right past the corner not noticing the two boys who were holding their breaths. Simultaneously they let out a heavy breath once Mr.Filch can't be heard.

"Next time, watch where you're going." Sirius whisper yells. "I don't feel like spending my time in detention this year."

"So-Sorry" Peter stutters. Ignoring the blonde boy Sirius continues his way to the Ravenclaw common room, only knowing where it is because Carter told him. They reach the bottom of the spiral staircase on the west side of Hogwarts. "We have to walk up all of those stairs?" Peter whispers. 

"Unfortunately." They both set their journey to the fifth floor to find their two favorite twins and Carter of course. Once on the fifth floor at the wooden door, a eagle knocker speaks once they are a couple of feet in front of it.

"You will always find me in the past. I can be created in the present, but the future will never taint me. What am I?" the knocker speaks in a low mysterious voice.

"WE HAVE TO SOLVE A RIDDLE," Peter exclaims. Nodding Sirius thinks, saying the riddle over and over in his head until Peter speaks again, "I've got it! History." Giving Peter a surprised look Sirius was going to say something thinking it was wrong until the door swings open revealing a beautiful common room with the colors blue and bronze scattered so carefully in the right places. Although it was late on a Sunday night the common room still seemed more full than it should be. No one in the room questioned them as they were caught up into their own business to notice the two girls standing there.

In their luck they see two Ravenclaw twins that they recognized; they're sitting on the couch. Finn was reading a book, while Jack sat there mindlessly throwing things in the fire that made it change a different color every time. Peter walks up to them excited because he hasn't seen them in while, actually since they got turned into girls which was a month and a half ago, still Peter seemed to forget that he had long flowing blonde hair now. So when he walked up to them to greet them he has never felt so hurt when they looked confused. "I'm sorry, but who are you?" Finn questions suspiciously as he stares at Peter. Realizing what he has just done Peter turns to Sirius who was just as surprised as he is, not realizing either that twins didn't know what happened to them.

 "Penelope, Siryna?" a voice calls. The two 'girls' turn to the voice revealing that it was it was Carter. "What are you doing here, did something happen?" the golden eyed boy walks toward them surprised yet happy that they were there.

Quickly thinking of something Sirius speaks up, "To look for you of course."

 "Yeah," Peter laughs nervously.

"Oh, what did you need?" Carter smiles.

"We were wondering if you wanted to come back to the common room with us, Rezza is a bit sad," Sirius explains, they were always planning to come get Carter as well, but they saw the twins and got excited so they technically they weren't lying.

"Oh no, what happened?" Carter shows genuine concern for the 'girls' after the incident with the three boys, he feels protective over them for some reason, not really knowing why.

In his time of knowing them he's found out that they're actually pretty rambunctious. Carter was at first surprised at this, they seemed so calm at first, he was wrong. He sat with them at dinner sometimes when they first met. Now he sits with them every night with his brother and Lucas, but at first it was very quiet only having small conversations, then 'Jaime' ate 'Reza's chocolate frog, let's just summarize that it was the opposite of quiet at their table. 'Rezza' sat there arguing with 'Jamie' for what seemed like hours. If he was being completely honest he was shocked at the reaction that 'she' had. Ever since then he didn't see them as the sweet quiet 'girls' anymore, they were quite loud in his opinion, nonetheless he would never change who they are.

"She just doesn't feel that great, if you can't that's okay, but she would love it if you came," Peter says.

"Oh yeah of course I would, also how rude of me, this is Jackson and Finnegan," Carter says pointing to the Harries twins individually.

"Call me Jack." 

"Just Finn please, Finnegan makes me sound like a old man."

"Nice to meet you," Peter says awkwardly because he already knows the twins, "Names Penelope."

"Siyrna."

"Nice to meet you!" the twins say in unison standing up to greet them properly shaking both of the girls hands. There was something familiar about them, but they couldn't quite put their fingers on it.

"You guys can come, if you'd like," Peter says wanting them to come because they're one of the reason that they came to the common room in the first place and they knew Remus would love it.

The twins look at each other taken a little by surprise because they really didn't know them, yet something felt so familiar, so a little hesitantly Finn spoke up, "Sure."

"Awesome, are you coming Carter?" Sirius asks.

"Of course," Carter grins, "Let me just say bye to my friends." Sirius is really ecstatic that his plan is working because he wants Remus to be surrounded by his good friends, to see him happy because for his Moon he'd do anything. Of course he would also bend over backwards for his other best friends, but with Remus its different, although he quite can't put it into words why.

Ignoring his thoughts he speaks up, "What was it you were reading Finn?"

"It's called Quidditch Through the Ages, quite interesting if you ask me, except Jack doesn't think so."

"I just couldn't find any interest in it, IS THAT SUCH A BAD THING."

"In my opinion it is very well written and interesting."

"Does it look like I care about your opinion Finnegan?" Jack sasses his brother.

Peter giggles, while Finn starts fake crying, "Fine since you don't care about MY OPINION, I guess you wouldn't care about the OPINION I had on the potions homework." Finn stands up going to the doorway.

"OH BROTHER WAIT I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" Jack stands up and chases his brother. Peter and Sirius are left there laughing no one else around them knowing what was going on they shake their head at the two cackling girls. 

Carter walks back to the girls, "What just happened?"

"Jack... offended... Finn... Now Finn won't give Jack his homework," Sirius says in between laughs. 

Carter chuckles, "That sounds about accurate, let's go." The two 'girls' nod clutching their stomachs. Peter keeps on laughing not really knowing why it was so funny, maybe it's because he hasn't seen them in a while, or it was that it was just plain funny. Either way he kept laughing until he reached the twins. He tried really hard to hold his laugh, but it didn't work and he let out a really loud squeal. All of the people in the Ravenclaw common room turn their heads towards the noise. When Peter notices he turns the bright red.

"Can we leave?" he says wanting to go because he hates being the center of attention. The five boys make their way out of the common room, feeling bad for Peter. If there was one thing that the poor boy hated most was everyone looking at him, it felt as if their stares were burning holes into his skin.

A little distraught, Peter asks Carter a question "Where is Lucas and Connor?"

"Probably in the Hufflepuff common per usual."

"Oh, okay."

"Yep, shall we go." The boys/girls nod their heads then make their way to the Gryffindor common room.