#Bonefall TBC

[bonefall]

I think you might be talking about me--i sent in the post thanking you for giving Sorreltail epilepsy and I told you about my daughter. We missed the post about Shadowsight now having full epilepsy, but I want to thank you again. Shadowsight is her favorite cat, and she's so happy.

Glad to see you around!! Yep, I fixed Shadowsight too, in a way I hope you'll both like.

[ID: Better Bones Shadowsight. He is a large gray tabby with a black mohawk and red eyes. He has a jagged, red scar down his eye, splitting his ear in half, down his neck, and continuing down the arm.]

Since Sorreltail has absence seizures and her epilepsy is on the mild side, I went and gave Shadowsight a more severe type to get a better range of rep.

He has clonic-tonic seizures, which he was born with.

The seizures are NOT related to visions anymore! That's just a thing he has.

Tawnypelt's Clan is going to get reduxed into something less about needing to save the tribe again (which I have issues with as the narrative keeps taking away the tribe's competence and agency), to Tawnypelt seeking treatment for him.

Since his type is more severe than Sorrel's, his treatment plan includes chamomile.

Chamomile is poisonous to cats in high amounts, so its dose is carefully controlled.

I plan to show him growing more skilled as a medic with preparing his own medications, as measuring the dose is quite delicate.

It'll be served in broth form because the idea of him lapping up tea out of a little painted bowl is irresistible

And when he's possessed...

[ID: Better Bones Shadowsight. He is a large gray tabby with a black mohawk and pink eyes. He has a jagged, blue scar down his eye, splitting his ear in half, down his neck, and continuing down the arm]

The split ear is made to look like radio antennae. Like he's picking up signals.

The lightning bolt is what gives him that connection to StarClan and its warriors. Ashfur had intelligently blocked off the rest of silverpelt, so Shadow was only hearing HIM.

It glows blue because the electric is running in it, also Ashfur Symbolism.

The final battle with Ashfur is MUCH different. It takes place in the land between StarClan and the Dark Forest-- The Meadow of Young Stars.

Ashfur absorbs several cats and becomes something so large and strong that it can't be killed by regular claws

And it's in this moment that Shadowsight confronts the man who used and controlled him.

"You're nothing without me, Shadowsight! What are you doing?! Stop!"

He blasts the lightning bolt right back at him, giving up the connection to StarClan that Ashfur had given him, using it like an electric tether to hold him in place

He can't hold him! Rootspring, Strikestone, and everyone else he'd lost in the Impostor's Tyranny leap into action to hold him as he holds down Ashfur

It's that moment where Bristlefrost realizes what she must do

Instead of falling into water, Briss lines up, charges, and body checks the eldrich horror out of the sky like a shooting star

They burn up in orbit, crashing down to Earth as a pair of meteorites. There is going to be a crater on the map from this point on.

After this, he starts to look like the first image. His blue scar fades to light red, and his eyes go back to scarlet.

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

Hi! I’m a big fan of reading your background character lists, and I look forward to seeing more things you write! I just decided to start posting about my warrior cats rewrite, but I have positively no clue how to really start. Would you have any tips? I look up to a lot of rewriters, but I also don’t want to seem like I’m copying people. ^^’ Thank you and have a nice day/evening/night!

Thank you! I've been enjoying doing them.

I have many tips! In no particular order:

Tackle the big issues head on. Don't be afraid to work on the biggest issues. Recreating the Tribe or dismantling the series' xenophobia can be hard, but once you start working on them you'll find that they're easier than you think.

Don't be afraid to take criticism on your ideas for these issues. Listen to people, and don't be afraid to ask others to use an idea or one similar to it. I asked Bonefall about fire/cooking (even though they put a blanket yes on everything). As for me? My ideas are also open source. Just tag me, because I wanna see what you do!

TAKE. NOTES. I said no particular order but this might be the most important thing. Do not be the Erins. Do not rely purely on the wiki, or your brain. You will forget things.

The family trees are a nightmare, do not be ashamed to create a visual, or apply "x generations after no longer counts" rules onto it to prevent bloat if you dislike a large clan to make other cats mates. I have a 3 generation rule.

If you find yourself getting frustrated with a detail, put it down for a bit.

Don't be scared of not being 'realistic' enough. The series is already quite unrealistic (Cats not being able to see in the dark, knowing what sweet things are, the medicines and plants that would be toxic irl, monogamy in cats, the sizes of other animals, etc). Be weird.

Another extremely important rule. Build up your side characters. For all its faults, Arc 1 had amazing side characters. No one in later arcs has personality beyond a handful of Shadowclan cats, and some Thunderclan cats that were unceremoniously killed off during TBC or between The Last Hope and The Apprentice's Quest, while Brackenfur rots away in the elder's den.

If you ever need help, don't be afraid to reach out. This Fandom is quite passionate about these books, I guarantee someone will have something.

If you need a starting point for where to write? I'd recommend 3 different points.

Into The Wild (Easy Mode)

Dawn of the Clans (Medium)

Mapleshade's Vengeance (Hard Mode)

[mumblemoths]

Behold, a man:

A finished redux tree! Now 100% incest free! I am not going before the first series, as i am not Insane.

A few notes on what i couldn't fit on, some fun details, and my thought process:

● Sandstorms father is no longer Redtail. This because Redtail and Spottedleaf are Rosetail's kits, and this would create incest further down the line. I might have her father be just Runningwind? Eh.

● Sorreltails mother is still Willowpelt, and her father is still Whitestorm. Meanwhile Greystripe's parent is now. Just Patchepelt. This was to avoid incest via Spotfur and Stemleaf.

● Larksong's mother is still Lilyheart! And his siblings Leafshade and Honeyfur still exist. However his father is now Stormcloud. Lilyheart and Seedpaw's origin is different. They're no longer Sorreltails, to avoif incest via Larksong and Sparkpelt. Now they're lost kits that were taken in. This is also to free up Leafshade and Honeyfur for Genetic Diversity™️

● Dovewing's kits are fatherless! This is to both prevent incest, as they're now related via goldenflower and lionheart, as well as my dislike of tigerdove as a romantic pairing, and how strongly it parellels real word grooming. However, her kits still do end up in Shadowclan, and view Tigerheart as a father.

● Speaking of Dovewing: she and Ivy and are now LionCinder kits. This is to corner off Firefam into just his direct line, make some plot beats more interesting, and also avoid some incest. Fernsong is now a former kittypet to prevent his situation from being Worse.

● A few kits go shuffled round. CloudBright's second litter is now Birch and White's only one. Iceloud and Foxleap are now their second litter.

● Blossomfall kits are now fatherless. Thornclaw was a vaguely weird choice in the first place. We also don't need anymore Frostfur descendants in the clan.

● Hollytuft and Sorrelstripe got combined into one guy. Same as Flywhisker and Snaptooth.

● Dustfern got changed. Might split Ash and Fern into two litters, one older and one younger, ala Bonefall's Better Bones AU. But no matter what, Dust doesn't interact with Fern until she's an adult, and he's no longer her brothers mentor. I elected to fix this, rather than split them, due to it not causing any excess incest [Raven and Dust are now loner kits], as well as it not requiring major rewrites/retoolings, unlike TigerDove IMO.

● Bristlfrost's mate may be Needleclaw instead of Rootspring, and i may make her a TBC protag instead of Root. Also Bristle, root/needle [depending on who gets protag rights], and Shadow will probably die together destroying ashfur.

● I may pepper in some background gay relationships. As this is an edit to the canon warriors tree, which is excusivley hetrosexual, it was very difficult to insert gay relationships, as i'm already struggling to remove incest, without adding more relationships in. I'm maybe thinking of DoveBriar as a cute background thing. BlossomIvy toxic yuri. Might hit Fernsong with The Woman Beam.

● Minnowtail and Mousewhisker had a thing too.

● This family tree was overal focused on Eliminating Incest, making Interesting Changes, and Preserving Genetic Diversity

[bonefall]

On Poppyfrosr, how do Ivypool and Dovewing feel about their birth mother when they find out? What’s their relationship with her look like? Does Poppy ever try to connect with her first litter, or does she just keep her distance as their aunt?

Poppy keeps her distance as their aunt, trying to forget it ever happened. It was codebreaking, it was painful to have reality crash in on itself, and she doesn't want to think about how Jayfeather chose clergyhood over her.

She has no way of confronting this in a way that's healthy. So she tries to pretend it didn't happen.

It's IVYPOOL who's pissed about it when it comes out, which the Imposter uses to exploit her even more. It's blackmail AND it's ragebait. She's a pawn of the impostor for the rising action of BB!TBC, until her baby Bristlefrost is publicly executed.

Dovewing, meanwhile, is peeking through the shutters from ShadowClan like, "how does my family keep getting worse"

Heartstar: "With great effort, I'm sure."

[bonefall]

So if Berrynose doesn't die in the battle that Rosepetal died in also, but you said he still dies, how does Berrynose die in the rewrite?

@halogenwarrior

Berry dies in that battle! Molewhisker just replaces the role Rose was in. His son dies, Berrynose is so infuriated he swaps sides and betrays the rebels, and then he gets taken out by Tawnypelt just like canon.

What do you think about Cherryfall and Molewhisker, particularly the fact they tried to lead the ex dark forest trainees to a crazed, trapped fox in Dovewing's Novella? Like yeah, they were apprentices and all but you'd think they'd be passed over for becoming mentors after a stunt like that regardless. Then AVOS happens and they're immediately appointed Spark and Alder. Really makes you think!

I think the government should do research into Cherryfall and Molewhisker for cloaking technology, because it's inspiring how many unique things they can be involved with and still I remember literally nothing about them

I like how Cherryfall is kind of dumb, aggressive, and mean. Between eating hemlock, trying to trick people with a trapped fox, and being no help on Alderheart's quest... I just wish it was intentional, y'know? I like Cherryfall and Blossomfall being the mean girls of ThunderClan.

I'm expanding on her, she's Stormcloud's sparring buddy. She is also not Spark's mentor anymore; Squilf is, because she is no longer Spark's mother.

Molewhisker is getting killed in TBC to infuriate Berrynose in the same battle Rosepetal died in. Rose, Cherry, and Hazel are the surviving Daisykin, with Mousewhisker going to RiverClan.

[bonefall]

A family member walked in on me making this thing and said, "GOOD LORD WHAT IS THAT" so I think this is a good moment to save and touch a little bit of grass before I continue

Pre-Lake RiverClan family tree be upon ye. HEAVY heavy heavy WIP though, as you can see there is an abrupt stop when I start figuring out post-TNP pairings, but everyone from Mapleshade's Vengeance/Darkstar's Commandment up to TigerClan is pretty locked and loaded.

Disorganized thoughts;

I keep waffling on where Graymist and Mintfur are going to go.

It is very important that Gray, Mint, and Ice are not related because of the canon family tree, unless I did some more reworks

Heavily considering shacking up Icewing with Rainstorm instead of Mint, and just cutting Mint completely

Why? Because Rainstorm has backstory now as a HalfClan cat and the brother of the ill-fated Rippletail, plus Mintfur has a name conflict with SkyClan Mintfur anyway.

Planning on grabbing ancient RiverClan from the field guides to plug up the ? spaces.

Idk why I feel like Greenflower should have a sibling. Probably going to use them as a kill in TPB.

Grasswhisker might end up too old for Stonestream, but remain as an honor dam with co-parenting, or get an in-between generation.

Maybe she will have Graymist?? And then GRAYMIST is the mate of Pebblefoot or Stonestream...

Eventually I want Troutstream in the Swan/Moss family so... hmm. Maybe Trout is directly from Stone. Honor-siring?

Shadepelt could also have Graymist and that will work pretty well, since it will make Graymist pretty far-removed and also plop her in a Thistle-leaning family

Darkstar's nephew, Perchpaw, becomes Perchshine just before he leaves to join the barn in Darkstar's Commandment. I imagine he had a kitten at one point who was given to RiverClan Cloudtail-style but I'm not sure who it was.

Leopardstar has a sister who survives now because I need the genes. Her name is Carpwhisker. Not fond of the minor canon implication that actually Leopardstar's problems stem from being spoiled. (Also Brightsky is not actually dead, she left the clans. Only Mudfur and Crookedstar know this.)

If you're familiar with Appledusk's litter you've probably noticed already that I split them up, and replaced them. Only Applefrost remains; Duskwater is now the mom of Rainflower, who is the bearer of the curse instead of Shellheart.

I think it's fitting that Mapleshade killed Rain's mom in the storm where she gave birth to Oak and Crooked.

This tree is actually TOO clean, there's 19 unique ancestors on it which I plan to crunch a bit by making some of the oldest cats into siblings.

RE: Check out my Three Strict Rules on the helpful info for the family tree; cats are considered "clean" after 3 generations.

[bonefall]

Hello! What's Millie like in the Bonefall Rewrite?

[ID: A headshot of Millie from Warrior Cats. She is a pale brown tabby with a big forehead, blue eyes, and a radio collar.]

Millie's Radio Collar is officially part of the Better Bones AU!

The collar is based on Product 35 of Sirtrack's catalogue, the same kind of collar used for Meerkat Manor, the product of choice for researchers back in 2008. I had to use the Wayback Machine to hunt this one down, because Sirtrack got bought out by Lotek Wireless.

02-X01 was a shelter cat saved from euthanasia and acclimated to 02-A01, a last-ditch effort to save the project after the Clan cats fled the destruction of the White Hart Woods. 02-A01 (Graystripe) was the only cat the researchers were able to hang onto after a coordinated 'rescue' of the Clan cats they had captured, and he could not be fitted with a collar because he was... visibly distressed as long as it was attached.

(Screeching and hissing and smashing it against the walls)

So, she was fitted with the collar, and the researchers held their breath as they "escaped" (a window was intentionally kept unlocked by the researchers and Millie was trained on how to shimmy it open) together, hoping she would be led right to the rest of the Clan cats.

But there's even more changes to BB!Millie! I have a lot of plans for her life.

She can't "speak dog." No one "speaks dog." Dogs don't have language, they are only able to mimic.

Clanmew, Townmew, Tribemew, etc are actual languages complete with linguistic drift, animals no longer have inborn 'species languages' and so far only humans and cats are capable of true grammar.

Millie is knowledgeable with dogs because she recognizes breeds and body language! (never again will her stupid magic ability to speak dog language suddenly falter for the plot)

Millie, Graystripe, and the other cats who were captured were vaccinated against common strains of Color Cough. They have a hard time catching it and it's usually less severe when they do.

She isn't perfect, though. Millie's over-concern and ableism for her daughter Briarlight is going to be addressed just after OotS, in ThunderClan's Tempest.

She is forcefully cut off from Briarlight for several months as Briar explores the freedom her new mobility device gives her.

They do reconcile, however! Millie does eventually die in AVoS, where Briarlight goes on to TBC before being killed by the Impostor.

[bonefall]

Sorry if you've posted about her before, but have you any plans for Icewing? What with her being Beetlewhiskers mother, both of them trained ij the dark forest and the Erins didn't have her react to his death, plus the scene where she protects fellow trainees frok showing fear so they don't get hurt? This woman has SO much potential!

A fellow Moonkitti Enjoyer I see

Yes, though! Ice is getting an expanded role in my rewrite. She is the child of Skyheart and Reedtail with her sister Pinefur, and the cousin of Reedwhisker!

She was an apprentice on the Great Journey, during which she ended up falling for a Tribe paw. Mint was chased out of RiverClan along with Storm and Brook during the Thistle Law surge that followed WindClan's Rebellion, but came back after the sudden death of Leopardstar.

Ice has always felt like something was suspicious about that death. On one paw, the death of Leopardstar returned her Mintflower, on the other hand... how can it possibly be okay that she had her skull bashed in and Mistystar just becomes leader? With so little investigation?

Skyheart is still around, too, to whisper things in Ice's ear. That Mistystar punished all of Leopardstar's old allies by shuffling apprentices, calling her a tyrant, not to trust her.

She turns to the Dark Forest because Leopardstar is there, and she wants to learn more about her. And she brings Beetlewhisker too.

From there the story is similar; I just built a lot in the blank space. Her son dies and she can't forgive herself for it. She protects other trainees as much as possible.

Though there is a change for two reasons:

Brokenstar is not in the DF for this Rewrite and thus did not kill Beetle. See: Firestar's Quietus

The Dark Forest is not as objectively evil and a lot of the demons are less enthusiastic about attacking the living than canon, so Icewing was speaking for some of them too. Not just younger trainees.

After the Great Battle, Icewing is actually unable to have kits again. She is taking it as a curse, a punishment for endangering Beetlewhisker. Nightkit and Breezekit were stillborn.

Her role opposing the impostor is unchanged, though, her collaborator Harelight is becoming a light in the mist! His name is probably going to be an Honor Title for it; I'm thinking he was called Harefur for AVoS and TBC before that.

(Mistystar likes to name families using matching suffixes. Softpelt, Dappletuft, Harefur. Gorseclaw is cut.)

I don't rewrite arcs until they're complete, so Bonefall ASC is still undecided, but you can see I'm giving Icey-Wi LOTS of setup in preparation.

[bonefall]

Might be an out of nowhere question, but since Bramblestar has actual consequences for his behavior- will it effect his relationships with Daisy and her first litter? It always bugged me how he was aggressive to her the moment she moved into camp and always thought poorly of her during TNP, and only wanted her kits to stay so he could benefit by them becoming apprentices (to the point where he was angry she brought them back to the farm) and she (or even Berrynose)! Aren't effected by it?

soooo much of the early toxicity of the WC fandom was because the writers decided to write Brambleclaw as an oblivious, xenophobic, sexist asshole and the young, impressionable audience (understandably, as we were all children) took it at face value I swear to god.

Unfortunately, Berrynose ADORES him. I think in some way, he's desperate to prove himself to Bramble. This is a major motivating part of his character up to his death in Bonefall TBC.

But Daisy I think will be less forgiving, along with Hazel and Mouse. She can't really say much since she's new, but I think I will have her be a generally early anti-Bramble cat.

Bramble is a VERY lonely cat in BBAU. He doesn't have very many friends and he's being written that way on purpose.

[bonefall]

Hopping off the gathering ask, are cross-clan relationships themselves not forbidden, if a second 'illegal' gathering is able to take place? How does honor-siring work if the father isn't of the same clan? Have there ever been incidents where a particularly law-loving leader turned around and started condemning everyone in gathering 2: electric boogaloo? Is this a "I saw X at the second gathering with Y!" "So what were YOU doing at the second gathering bestie???" situation, where majority of lawbreakers know who else is in kahoots but just constantly keep their mouth shut? Did Mapleshade stay at these gatherings and thats how she got caught? SORRY FOR ALL THE QUESTIONS IM VERY CURIOUS

The answer is; the Aftergathering wasn't so bold back at the Forest territories!

In fact that's why I specified that the one Shellfur went to was an average Lake gathering!

It has always been your right to wander and have friends in other Clans. Unlike canon where a warrior's life is strictly controlled, cats are rarely questioned for hanging out in places they're allowed to be. So long as you do your responsibilities, you're a CLAN cat. Not a kittypet with a twoleg.

But being caught so brazenly meeting with a mate in another Clan, that would be a huge problem. So the Aftergathering existed, but quietly. The cats gave each other privacy.

No one would EVER ask why you were staying. A lot of coded language. If you got cuddly in public, someone would gently tell you to be more discreet.

And of course there was no soup.

The Aftergathering is also not that old! It started forming about a generation after Darkstar's Commandment, when kit-stealing was banned, during the mid-Crusade Era.

It was a genetic necessity, and Clan animosity had a different flavor when Chelford raids were the Clan's main targets. Pinestar was born before there was an Aftergathering.

The Campaign Era wittled the Aftergathering significantly. If the cats hadn't responded by becoming much less conspicuous, there very much could have been a Salem-esque "what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament" movement. In fact, if Fire Alone didn't happen when it did, it could have been something that a leader with the newly-minted Thistle Law would have done.

It only didn't because it didn't. The soil was ripe for it. History is full of near-misses.

After the TNP journey, cats have become careless about the Aftergathering. The destruction of the forest changed something about them, the divisions were never quite the same again. Paw Soup itself was a cuisine MADE by apprentices who worked together.

As long as you are loyal and fiery for the rest of the month, defending your Clan with your life, the Aftergathering is not made into an issue...

Well, besides during TBC, when the Impostor ruled the lake.

[bonefall]

What are Breezepelt's thoughts during Bristlefrost's trial/first death? He doesn't feel guilty does he? Like, he doesn't feel responsible for Bramblestar, does he? (I kinda would, in his paws.)

Breezepelt is deeply distressed during the whole ordeal. The Kin's tyranny is fresh in his mind, he's still on thin ice with WindClan after defecting twice, he's got his first litter of kits on the way, and he's JUST starting to patch up his relationship with his dad

And now there's a NEW tyrant doing public executions, and everyone's so scared of losing StarClan they're willing to make blood sacrifices now??? That's what he sees that execution as. A blood sacrifice.

Ohhh godddddd and Firestar might still be here if he hadn't done what he did years ago, it's like his mistakes just keep biting him like fleas, no matter how much he grooms he can never crack them all!

He's definitely going to get exiled at some point. He makes a lot more sense than Crowfeather. Breeze wanted to stay quiet, not rock the boat to get separated from his mate(s), but eventually he just can't stay quiet anymore, and becomes a target of the Impostor.

[bonefall]

Does Bramblestar die in your redux of the Broken Code? Or is he ousted? If not, what is your reasoning for having him to remain in power (beyond any wishes to stay semi-canon compliant)

The reasoning that Bramblestar isn't ousted after TBC is only because it technically wasn't him committing the acts of the Impostor... but he is on thin ice.

(context for newcomers: Bramblestar has been leader since the end of Po3 because Breezepelt killed Firestar. Girlboss moment)

After the events of Squirrelflight's Horror and the death of Leafpool as a result of his botched raid, not to mention his behavior at the end of Po3 where he disowned his adopted children, and caused controversy by publicly demoting (and mistreating) his very popular deputy and ex-mate, not to mention a second mate and a genius engineer leaving the Clan, Bramblestar is a very unpopular leader.

They didn't believe Bramblestar was possessed at the beginning of TBC. They just think he's throwing his weight around, the way always does.

They don't finally stand against him because Graystripe recognizes he's an imposter like in canon, either, they stand against him because he is doing bad things.

But... because it wasn't him, and because Squirrelflight saves him from the Dark Forest because she's the kind of person who would never leave a clanmate behind, he is still leader in the beginning of ASC.

I don't rewrite arcs until they're fully completed... but I do know that by the end of Bonefall TBC, ThunderClan is not happy with his leadership. VERY not happy.

[bonefall]

shadowsight illegally channels ashfur, forcing him to stay in one place. then bristle gets his ass

Ashfur: "YOU CANT DO THAT THATS ILLEGAL STOP STOP STOP"

Hmmm... I want Shadowsight's scar to be blue when he first gets it from Ashfur's lightning and stay that way until Ashfur's control is gone, maybe it turns red with his death?

Like it was Ashfur who was giving him that connection to StarClan at all, through the blue lightning scar. The channeling item was Shadowsight himself, and that was how he kept him in place for Bristlefrost to KO

[bonefall]

Give Shadow full epilepsy, please!

WHOLE HOG EPILEPSY you got it! I got several asks at once jumping on the idea so consider it added.

Specifically, this is general-onset seizures that are clonic-tonic. The "classic" convulsive type that would severely impede warrior duties. These ones can be dangerous if not controlled, so I'll out him on the heavy-duty herb in my Epilepsy Guide-- Chamomile.

Chamomile is an herb that, when not carefully diluted, will kill a cat. So I may make it a point for Alderheart to come and spend some time in ShadowClan making sure Puddleshine knows how to brew it properly. I'll treat it like heavy metal.

So eventually Shadowsight can brew his own teas when he comes into his skills after TBC. Easy way to show the progression of his abilities as a medic.

[bonefall]

Does Bristlefrost still die?

Twice! Once in the mortal plane to the impostor, and the second drowning Ashfur just like canon.

Ivypool is taking many of her roles, Bonefall TBC is going to be an arc with her as a POV. Bramblefake exploits Ivypool's issues with abandonment and the way she holds grudges to turn her against her daughter, who's having a secret half-clan relationship much like Dovewing once had. On that note, Bristlefrost and Rootspring's love is mostly offscreen.

This culminates in Bramblefake bringing Bristlefrost to a gathering, pointing out that the Clans have not been strictly enforcing the code, demanding Leafstar punish Rootspring. Leafstar, of course, says that this is madness and refuses.

So Bramblefake lifts his paw, slices Bristlefrost's neck, and lets her plummet off the tree. She's dead before she hits the ground. The gathering erupts into chaos

But Bramblefake points at the moon with his bloody paw, bright, full, and unclouded, and says, "This is the will of StarClan! Punish the codebreakers, or they will never speak to us again!"

And THAT is what kicks off Bonefall TBC in earnest.

[bonefall]

I wanted to ask. you what your plans are for the later ShadowClan medicine cats (Puddleshine and Shadowsight). I haven't seen you mention Puddleshine at all, I'm wondering if Littlecloud is still going to die when he does in canon and have Puddleshine randomly picked to be a med? Since you already had the "surprise medcat" plot with Kestrelflight being apprenticed after Barkface dies, there might be a reason not to keep this, not to mention if Littlecloud is still alive by the end of TBC you could have him playing a part in the switch to leaders being able to be deposed/resign, because he would remember clearly how Nightstar and his brother Rowanstar died due to leaders not being able to resign or be overthrown while still alive. Maybe Puddleshine can still be Littlecloud's apprentice, but is out of the way by TBC because he joins the Kin and stays there, with Shadowsight being Littlecloud's apprentice. The "Puddleshine joining the kin" plot point would also make more sense if Littlecloud is alive because I definitely think you should change how in canon, Rowanstar is inexplicably so horrible and all of ShadowClan so politically united in being fine with outsiders that they ALL prefer Darktail to him except his immediate family, and Puddleshine wouldn't have motivation to join the kin to heal them if he was the only med and there were still lots of ShadowClan cats to take care of, but it would make sense if Littlecloud is still alive. Or you could even have him genuinely join the apprentice rebellion, I think it would be interesting to have a cleric/med apprentice who actually fully sides with Darktail.

And now Shadowsight... I haven't actually read TBC, just the plot summaries, but I've seen people be of two minds with regards to his arc's conclusion. One is that it was really good for how he feels he has to throw himself into danger and death to make up for letting Ashfur rise to power which everyone is telling him he's horrible for, and Bristlefrost's death lets him realize he doesn't really want it (though this is already what you are doing with Breezepelt in AVOS, so you might want to not go in this direction). The other is that it's anticlimactic to have him spend a whole arc being the victim who gets beaten up and needing to be rescued, and in the end he just continues to be the victim and have someone else die to save him, having accomplished nothing. So how are you planning to end his arc? Also, since you tend to, for good reason, lean towards different cats having different clearly defined politics rather than everyone having an opinion that the plot/drama says so, which cats are going to be distrustful of Shadowsight and want him punished and which ones will be sympathetic towards him?

On Littlecloud

The reason I haven't mentioned him and Puddleshine too much is because Bonefall AVoS is still very loose. I get wrapped up in how I'm going to try and keep in Twig and Alder even just a little bit and hit a wall, when the rest of my changes, like the POV shift, are soooo much more interesting.

So Littlecloud...

I want to keep the fact that Flametail's death destroyed him. Flametail was to him what he once was to Runningnose. He loved him like a son.

Thinking about it, this feels too juicy to just... never have him pick up another. Puddleshine should be a cat who's practically forced onto him, and he resents that. They both end up not liking each other as a result. Or...

Maybe I'll bring back the suggestion I offered up a while ago, where a medicine cat has a sort of dementia or alzheimers onset. Make it so Rowanstar made him take an apprentice because his mind is fading. Puddlepaw knows that Littlecloud's not all there and dreads the fact he will soon have to treat his own mentor like an elder, when he isn't even fully trained.

(and as a side note, if he gets a progressive disease of the mind, I would like him to live significantly longer than canon. He'll pass away peacefully as an elder between AVoS and TBC.)

(Tawny should also be past the age of retirement at this point and move to the elder's den after the Tawnypelt's Clan redux)

Shadowsight

I think TBC was the best arc in a looooong time, but if I have any bones to pick with it, it's how it thinks that Shadowsight needs a "redemption arc"

He didn't fucking doooo anythiiiing

They want to hold him to some kind of ridiculous narrative punishment, but he didn't DO ANYTHING. He was manipulated by a member of StarClan, that thing that medicine cats are SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO. The "seeing into the shadows" thing doesn't even make sense, he was speaking to a StarClan cat.

So, I could have gone back and made Ashfur a Dark Forest cat and then actually have the narrative give some weight to how he should have known the difference via his training... but I like StarClan Ashfur. I like StarClan making a mistake.

So I would rather fix in a way as to point out that Shadowsight Did Nothing Wrong, and is the victim of horrible circumstances worthy of sympathy.

I don't think rage at him is justified, but, I think that cats who are angry or looking for someone to blame will target him. I also really want to preserve Lionblaze's anger in particular, he's furious, he's irrational, and he's so blinded by rage that he will blame his own grandson.

On the "Seeing The Shadows" thing, I think I would actually like it more if somehow, he was able to sacrifice his connection to StarClan in the final fight. Like...

Maybe he actually does a Reverse Uno on Angelic Abomination Ashfur to hold him in place, unable to dodge or look away, so Bristlefrost can do a comet-tackle and knock him out of Heaven. Forever severing his connection to StarClan cats, but defeating him in the process.

Because then he can still have his guilt over cousin Bristlefrost dying instead of him, AND confront his manipulator without having a miserable "dies to kill him" ending. Plus just imagine Ashfur getting more and more desperate like

"You can't hold me down, stop being an idiot. You're just a weak little apprentice at heart. Cease this-- you can't exploit your connection like this, what if it breaks? You'll be a medicine cat who can't talk to anyone in StarClan! You'll be useless! I MEAN IT, YOU'RE NOTHING WITHOUT ME, SHADOWSIGHT, I CANT MOVE, SHADOWSI-"

And then he dies