#Bobby Sonichu

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Sonichu 10: Página 59

¡No solo le curaron la miopía, sino que ha recibido pantalones! Michael: ¡Oye, hermano, te ves elegante! Trisha: ¡Volando alto y luciendo bien! Whisp: ¡No te metas con esa apariencia! Swift: Inteligente. Kitty: ¡Le daría a eso! Bobby: ¡Impresionante! Asperchu: Solo llámame… ¡Mitch! Nota: Mitch Sonichu Nota: Antes Nota: Después Nota: Maquillaje Eléctrico Extremo Nota: Copyright…

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 10 Page 64

CHRIS: Is everyone alright?

SWIFT: We’re all okay Christian.

MICHAEL: Hey! There’s Alec!

ASPERCHU: Let’s go kick his a** for giving us Aspergers and drawing us sooo terribly!

CHRIS: I think all our problems here in Minnesota will be resolved very shortly.

SONICHU: Actually, Chris, there are four caged Rosechus in Alec’s basement.

CHRIS: Oh. Well, I’ll teleport them all to safety, then finally deal with Slaweel.

Metal Asperchu is anticlimactically destoyed with zero injuries on the side of good. Whatever celebration they might have been planning is cut short as Michael spots their former abuser, Alec Benson Leary, and the seven Asperchu hedgehogs beat him to a pulp off screen. Alec doesn’t appear on screen until later this issue, when he kills Simonla, then gets fried.

At the bottom of this page, Chris is incredibly antsy to call Mission: Minnesota a wrap. When Sonichu brings up the Basement Rosechus, Chris offhandedly remarks how he’ll rescue them but he’s really got his eye on his next great villain he must destroy: Mary Lee Walsh. This entire page reeks of boredom - I imagine that, since Asperchu’s rise was rather meteoric at the end of 2009, that Chris didn’t include this sequence when he originally outlined Sonichu 10, and that he originally intended the reawakening of Zelina to be immediately followed by Mary Lee’s defeat. Now he wants to get back on schedule, so he wants Metal Asperchu out of the picture (why even have a boss fight at all if you’re so strapped for time?), to squeeze in one last potshot against Alec by having his characters beat him up, even if off screen, and then get going to defeat Mary Lee. In practice, there’s a good ten more pages of Alec/Asperchu bashing before we actually get to Mary Lee.

Also, I believe this is the final time the action of Sonichu leaves the commonwealth of Virginia, at least until Sonichu 12-9 goes to My Little Pony land.

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Sonichu 10: Página 58

¡Enhorabuena, ya no tenéis Asperger! ¡En su lugar tenéis autismo! Nota: Remedio Caótico Narración: *Ahora presentando, nacido en Minnesota, curado de problemas mentales y abusos pasados… Nota: Michael Sonichu Nota: (Planta) Bobby Sonichu Nota: (Agua) Kitty Rosechu Nota: (Volador) Trisha Rosechu Nota: (Lucha) Whisp Sonichu Nota: (Psíquico) Swift Sonichu La felicidad está a solo una…

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Sonichu 10: Página 57

¡Gran tocho de texto nos hemos topado! Michael: Gracias, señor. Estamos muy emocionados por tu llegada. Alec no es el mejor cuidador aquí; Le da más cuidado y atención a Asperia, Max, Benny, Sitting Chu, Jonas, Dixie y ese verde sin nombre. Nos formó para que pareciéramos de baja resolución, en bloques, groseros y retrasados; ¿Es esa una noción de un individuo solidario? No, no lo es. Bobby…

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 10 Page 57

MICHAEL: Thank you, sir. We are very excited for your arrival. Alec is not the best caretaker here; he gives more care and attention to Asperia, Max, Benny, Sitting Chu, Jonas, Dixie, and that nameless green one. He formed us to look low-resolution, blocky, gross, and retarded; is that a notion of a caring individual? No, it is not.

BOBBY (ALEC’S WILD): He cursed us seven with his own Aspergers and negative influances. Even worse, he pushes homosexuality onto me with Evan’s Simonchu… it is a constant nightmare to me, even being forced to do the act in the “honeymoon” video… wahhh!!! God, please release me of this hell!!!

KITTY (ALEC’S BUBBLES): We never wanted to be named after the original ones in your world; I wanted to be named Kitty. “Sonichu” wanted to be called Mike, “Wild” Bob, and so on. Alec tore the spikes and tails from some of us. We were all born here in Minnesota from our father Sonichu who was also born here. Upon breeding the bunch of us, as well as Asperia, Benny, Sitting Chu, Jonas, Dixie, and the green guy, there were five Roseys that Alec decided not to care for at all. They get treated like hamsters.

TRISHA (ALEC’S ANGELICA): Actually, there’s only four of them now; one tried to report Alec to the ASPCA, but before she could make it there, she lost her life by the hands of Dino Dash… that was one example that scared us all with intense fear. The remaining four have grown to be regular Rosechus now… caged in Alec’s basement. My name should be Trisha.

WHISP (ALEC’S PUNCHY): Uh!!!!… Uh!!!!… I’m Whisperin’! You know what I’m sayin’? My name’s Whisperin’!

SWIFT: I used to have my psychic powers, but Alec numbed my mind with the Aspergers… Numbie be my name… the “Grandpa” Sonichu was our father… he was 20 when the last of us was bred between him and Alec’s Ditto… Dad became old with Bill’s age-acceleration machine… headache!!!

ASPERCHU: We never wanted Aspergers; we never wanted to look stupid, gross, and retarded, and we are sick and tired of Alec and his crew. This body type and these glasses are terrible. I need a girlfriend too.

SONICHU: My God! Well, Chris and I will set the girls free and get them well-fed and started on a better life. For now, y’all gather round. I will cure y’all of your mental blocks, improve your looks, and raise your IQ and self-confidence greatly.

TL; DR: Alec’s a jerk and he forced us to be in Asperchu, we’re not the original Sonichu/Chaotic Combo, we’re not gay, we hate our names, Alec keeps four women tied up in his basement and killed a fifth, but don’t worry, GodJesus Sonichu’s love saves all.

Michael’s speech tells of how Alec gives preferential treatment for stuff like page time and not getting brutally murdered to the various OC’s Asperchu introduced: Asperia, Asperchu’s dream daughter from the future, much like Chris’s dream daughter Crystal, who would eventually be born as a hideous deformed mutant Rosechu; Max, a friend of Asperchu’s who is a pink puffy blob that can copy the abilities of people he inhales and is a 100% original character and not Kirby in any way; Benny, a one-shot character from issue 1A, who worked with the fundamentalist Christian couple John and Kendra who feuded with Asperchu that issue; Sitting Chu, the Asperchu version of the Anchuent Leader of the Cherokian Clan; Dixie and Jonas Chu, Asperchu’s dream girl and his romantic rival; and the “nameless” green Sonichu, actually named Peter, is a minor friend of Jonas Chu’s. For whatever reason, Chris omits from this list the greatest Asperchu character, Jivin Pickles.

Bobby goes on about how they were not born with Asperger’s and Alec cursed it upon them, and that, unlike Asperchu’s version of Wild, he himself is not homosexual. In Asperchu, Wild Sonichu and Evan’s Simonchu, the True and Honest Simonla, were a gay couple to mock Chris’s decision to make Simonla a girl and pair her with Wild. As you can well guess, Chris was not a fan of this relationship, or their “honeymoon video” that Magi-Chan mass debates to.

Alec’s Bubbles, Kitty, explains that they had no desire to have the same names as Chris’s EHPs, and that they each had picked a name for themselves. Kitty also implies that, in order to make these EHPs resemble their Chaotic Combo counterparts more accurately, Alec painfully disfigured them, implicitly I think we’re meant to assume that Alec had the tail removed from Whisp Sonichu to make him more resemble the unnaturally tail-less Punchy. Also according to Kitty, apparently they’re all brothers and sisters, along with the OCs of Asperchu, and this quintet of Roseys that apparently were of no use to Alec, thus they were ignored and caged in Alec’s basement. These Roseys have no basis in Asperchu canon, as Rosechu herself had yet to appear in Asperchu at this point.

Trisha’s speech tells the tale of the tragic fifth Basement Rosechu, who apparently got reasonably far in an escape before getting killed by Asperchu’s version of Clyde Cash, Dino Dash. Her death was used as an unsubtle warning to the remaining Asperchu cast that resistance against Alec was futile. This is a weirdly dark plot point, and yet the surviving Sonichus and Rosechus seem to not care particularly much about their fallen comrade (Kitty even introduces their group as a quartet until Trisha corrects her). The surviving Basement Rosechus don’t express any sorrow for the loss of their sister, who isn’t given so much as a name. It’s almost like this character was just created to defame Alec. Hmmm.

Whisp offers no useful information with his eighth of the page whatsoever. His “whisperin’” name is possibly meant to be ironic, as he appears to be yelling in his speech bubble.

Swift, despite apparently having been a long-ignored prophet a la Cassandra two pages ago, has apparently been stripped of his psychic prowess thanks to Aspergers, and suggests that he has been cruelly nicknamed “Numbie”, possibly by Alec and crew. He also goes more in depth regarding the team’s genealogy than Kitty did, explaining that the “Grandpa Alzheichu” was in fact their biological father, their biological mother being a Ditto, a Pokemon famous for its ability to breed with most other Pokemon in the game. However, to sync up the ages of the Chaotic Combo (presumably 19 like rest of the team) with the age of Alzheichu (elderly), Swift says that he was exposed to an age-acceleration machine, made by none other than former Team Rocket lead scientist Bill Schwartz. Okay, two questions. One, aside from wanting to make Alzheichu more closely resemble Bob Chandler, what’s the point of even inventing an age-acceleration machine? No one likes getting older, so it seems like this machine would have no practical use. Two, we see Bill at the end of this chapter, for the first time since Sonichu 1, and he’s completely turned “good” and is working for CWCville’s hospital. He even specifically mentions ditching Team Rocket to save lives at the hospital. He makes no reference to ever working with the Asperpedia Four. Granted, given that by the time he reappears the Asperpedia Four are wanted murderers I wouldn’t exactly blame him for wanting to hide any former affiliation with them, but it’s nevertheless an unexplained plot point.

Asperchu, the only character Chris has zero claim to creation (and thus the one Alec later had the most issue with Chris stealing him here), goes on and on about how ugly Alec made him and how he needs a girlfriend. Weirdly, Chris never gives him one despite this request (granted, Kitty, Trisha, and the basement Rosechus are all apparently his sisters, and every other female Rosechu of dating age is already paired up, so it’s possible this was a conscious decision.) Sonichu, moved by their plight, prepares to cure of all that ails them.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 10 Page 55

ASPERCHU: So what do you all want to do today?

SONICHU {thought}: Outside!

MICHAEL (ALEC’S SONICHU): I don’t know, Asperchu… I’m sick of Alec’s c***py “shopping center”.

ASPERCHU: *Gasp* Is that…?

MICHAEL: No way!

SWIFT (ALEC’S MAGI-CHAN): I told you all he’d… he’d… he’d come to save us. No one be… be… believed me.

Sonichu’s attention is averted by the sounds of unknown voices. He flies out of Alec’s house, over the Snorlax who, in Asperchu, was the avatar of Barbara Chandler, Grandma Snorlax, to find the Asperchu canon versions of himself, the Chaotic Combo, and the Electric/Asperger’s Pokemon himself, Asperchu.

Chris was appalled at the idea of his characters being in a comic so parodic as Asperchu, so he insisted to both himself and others that the characters in Asperchu were completely different, if physically identical, to his characters. I suppose it also irked him that they bore the same identities as his characters, so here, he goes at length that they are not his characters, they are completely different EHPs, with different names, and that his own Chaotic Combo are fine and dandy and straight. Oddly, despite the emphasis on making sure people knew the characters were separate, only Sonichu and his copy, Michael, ever meet in person.

As Ultra Sonichu descends from the heavens, the Asperchu team responds with disbelief. Alec’s Magi-Chan, later dubbed “Swift”, claims to have prophesied of this moment for some time now, but was always disbelieved. Much like the Magi-Chan he is based on, Swift is presumably a major source of deus ex machina, although one unused by the main storyline.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 10 Page 58

Caption: *Chaotic Remedy*

Narration: *Now introducing, born in Minnesota, healed from mental problems and such past abuse…

Caption: Michael Sonichu

Caption: (Grass) Bobby Sonichu

Caption: (Water) Kitty Rosechu

Caption: (Flying) Trisha Rosechu

Caption: (Fighting) Whisp Sonichu

Caption: (Psychic) Swift Sonichu

Happiness is just a Jesus metaphor away for team Asperchu: Ultra Sonichu bathes them in light and instantaneously cures their ailments, their Aspergers, their ugliness, their inabilities to find boyfriend-free girls/girlfriend-free boys, and the Chaotic Combo of Asperchu are revealed in their new Chris-approved forms, which are essentially the Chaotic combo wearing different clothes.

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Sonichu 10 Page 62

CHRIS: *Protect!*

METAL ASPERCHU: Blade dulled. No damage.

CHRIS {telepathy}: Gameplan: Trisha, use Protect on us all. Sonichu, Michael, and Mitch, attack the bot with simultaneous Mach Punches; one high, one middle, one low. I’ll lock on and fire a Zap-Cannon. Then Swift, use protect on us all. Then, within the metal monst, an explosion will be activated.

METAL ASPERCHU: Preparing to fire ammo and flame…

SFX: *Protect*

Chris covers team Asperchu with a Protect, though, in the Pokemon games, this move only protects the user, in this case Chris, and does not protect allies in a double battle. His decision to pass the Protect baton around seems to be a workaround of the fact that the more times one Pokemon uses Protect in a row, the more likely it is to fail, so having Trisha and then Swift use it means it will work every single usage.

With Metal Asperchu stunned, Chris lays out the attack plan. Trisha and Swift take turns protecting the non-combat EHPs, while Sonichu, his Asperchu doppelganger Michael, and Asperchu hit Metal Asperchu.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 10 Page 61

ASPERCHU: What happened?

SONICHU: Oh, Chris blew up Alec’s P.C.

ASPERCHU: Oh, that’s cool; he needed a new hard drive anyway.

CHRIS: Well, Sonichu, I took down Asperpedia. You made over these Pokemon well. Well, I guess we’ll… uh…

CHRIS: What’s up with them?

SONICHU: They’re thinkin’ you and I are like God and Jesus or something.

CHRIS: Oh, listen, y’all, I am not a God, but a servant of him and Jesus like the rest of you. The First Commandment reads, “Thou shalt have no other gods before Him.” But I appreciate the gesture.

ASPERCHU: We beg your pardon, Christian, but we seven are just elated to have you and Sonichu come to us and offer unto us your goodwill.

CHRIS: It is okay Asper… pardon. Mitch Sonichu. Also, Michael, I forgive you of “baring false witness against me.”

MICHAEL: Thank you, sir.

SFX: Crash

ASPERCHU: Oh… no…

CHRIS: What was that?

METAL ASPERCHU: Original creator and doomed hedgehog in range. Blade prepared.

Chris exit’s Alec’s house to find his EHPs bowing at his feet. He once again insists that he is not, in fact, a god. As evidenced by his citation of the First Commandment, he is fully aware that the religion he claims to follow explicitly proscribes these sorts of actions. But he appreciates the gesture nevertheless, and goes on to forgive Michael Sonichu for “baring [sic] false witness against [him]”, note that the Christian principle about not bearing false witness against others is generally listed as the Eighth Commandment (occasionally Ninth, but nevertheless is always in the same list of commandments as “no other gods before Me”.)

Again I question character motivations from the perspective of the Asperpedia hogs - as I mentioned before, I think we’re intended to assume that the Asperpedia hogs have been raised in isolation and worship Chris out of ignorance. But their actions seem very Christianity-inspired, which makes sense as to why Chris would do that, as he’s neither well-versed enough in other religious practices to borrow some of their iconography nor creative enough to come up with new religious practices, but how would the otherwise isolated Asperpedia EHPs even know that bowing in the presence of a heavenly being is even something you do? Or the phrasing of “offering unto us your goodwill?”

A crash warns everyone that Metal Asperchu, the mechanical beast that in Asperchu killed Wild, Punchy, and Angelica, is back for revenge, and it lumbers around the corner, vowing to kill Chris and Sonichu. Its dialogue is handwritten in a blocky style, much like how in Asperchu its dialogue was written in a different font. What exactly was stopping Chris from utilizing this simple method is unknown.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 10 Page 59

MICHAEL: Yo, bro, lookin’ sharp!

TRISHA: Flyin’ high and lookin’ fine!

WHISP: Don’t mess with dat and dese looks!

SWIFT: Smart.

KITTY: I’d hit that!

BOBBY: Awesome!

ASPERCHU: Just call me… Mitch!

Caption: Mitch Sonichu

Caption: Before

Caption: After

Caption: Extreme Electric Makeover

Caption: Copyright Christian Weston Chandler, March 2000

The “best” transformation is saved for last. The other Asperchu hogs gather around their leader and declare how much they enjoy the design Chris has forced upon him. Kitty’s response is a cryptic “I’d hit that!”, despite the fact that Asperchu is her brother. After a series of shots of the new look, Asperchu is reintroduced under his new name, Mitch. The entire process (though it’s not made clear whether this applies to all the renamings/redesignings or just Asperchu/Mitch’s) is named the “Extreme Electric Makeover”. While Chris likely meant this as a shout out to the television program Extreme Makeover or its more popular spinoff Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, the title became a subject of mockery as “makeovers” are most commonly associated with preteen girls and homosexual men. Further compounding the mockery is the choice to put Mitch in a flannel shirt and tight blue jeans (note that the fourth reveal shot is of his ass), which has commonly been called a “gay lumberjack” look.

Also, Chris didn’t mean to draw it this way, but it looks like Asperchu is flipping off the camera at the bottom there.

In response to Chris’s demands that Asperchu retcon its characters to be Chris’s revisions, Mitch would eventually become a regular on Asperchu, independent from the title character. Mitch was portrayed as a gay hairstylist, in reference to the Extreme Electric Makeover he received here.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 6 Page 48

CWC’S ART GALLERY

CLOUDS: ASTCI3

BIONIC’S FLAG: I fought my autism and I won!

WORD: Autism

Signature: 2/24/99 Christian Chandler

Christian Weston Chandler’s “Bionic Over Autism”

Here’s another look into the classic art of Chris. There’s this interesting look into the progression of Chris’s art style here on the CWCki. Chris really had a problem with drawing lazy eyes in his ‘90’s era artwork and Bionic here has it bad. Another noticeable change between the two eras of Bionic is that early Bionic had very prominent back spikes that were almost to the length of the spikes on his head, but if you’ll notice his 2007-era drawings his proportions are a lot more similar to his brother Sonic’s, with the large head spikes, designed to look like hair, and smaller back spikes, only there to identify them as hedgehogs.

The clouds in the background are supposed to also read “AUTISM”, but it almost looked like they did spell AUTISM but the wind then blew them around. Have you ever tried to draw a cloud but then the wind reshaped it? I hated when that happened when I was a kid.

I don’t know why it looks like there’s a spider right by the bottom of the flag post. I also have no idea what it’s supposed to be so I assume it’s a giant spider.

Bionic’s flag reads “I fought my autism and I won”, a reference to the song “I Fought the Law”, originally by The Crickets (the group better known for their work with Buddy Holly) in 1960, made famous by The Bobby Fuller Four in 1966, and equally famously reworked by The Clash in 1979. Chris changes the famous chorus “I fought the law and the law won” to have the narrator be the victorious. Yet, much like the narrator of the original song, Chris will never win against the foe he wrestles with.

Either Bionic is a giant or that’s a tiny road there.

I’m not certain what was the inspiration for that tri-color sun in the background there, by the way. Probably something Sonic.