#Bobble Bee

[genederfluid]

confession: I cannot listen to gene’s bioluminescence song in public because it makes me stim too hard

[charliemwrites]

Part 3 of charmed slasher Simon

(Part 2 here)

Your apartment is so cozy. Full of warm, soft things and cute little internet bobbles. It matches you.

Simon’s been watering your plants for you. Busy little bee that you are, he’s shocked they’ve survive this long without him. Same could be said for you.

How some other monster hasn’t lured you in and snapped their jaws closed around your throat is mystery. Good luck, maybe. Or there is a higher power out there after all, and it’s solely devoted to keeping you bouncing along, too friendly for your own good.

Even the death of all your friends hasn’t stripped that gracious way from you. All the cops on the case like you - so forthcoming and cooperative. The more chivalrous of them endeared by the brave face you put on.

Simon wants to carve their faces off when they smile at you.

His consolation is that you’re never more than courteous. You come back to your little flat and collapse on the couch - sometimes sleep there ‘til morning. He’s started pulling blankets over you before it gets too cold.

Your bed is too big for you. All that extra space taunts him, a perfect spot for him to shore up against your back. He could curl his arm around your waist, tuck you into his chest. Slide your panties down your plush thighs…

Too soon for that though. You still stir a bit when he brushes his fingers over your cheek. Have started leaning into it in your sleep, desperate for a kind touch when the world is suddenly so scary.

His favorite nights are the nightmares though. When you wake up gasping and shaking, wiping at watery eyes. When you gasp and shudder like that, it’s easy to imagine you making those noises for a different reason.

It’s those times that all the little inconsistencies start to nag at you. A water cup emptier than you left it. Your hairbrush in the drawer. A blanket on the back of the couch instead of the arm. Things you murmur to yourself is just your memory being off, that you’re being paranoid.

He loves the sound of you singing to yourself when the apartment gets too quiet. Chattering to the air when you’re trying to keep yourself on track with chores.

Your neighbor does too. A single guy, handsome but knows it. Not your type, but he’s the sort to think he’s everyone’s type. He mentions that he hears you singing sometimes, that you have a nice voice. You look utterly mortified; Simon’s teeth grind.

And the little asshole won’t stop chatting with you. Your schedules line up just so that he’s usually leaving for the gym as you’re coming home - giving him excuses to hold you up, try to entice you into feelings Simon has no intention of letting you develop.

Well, moving season is coming. You’re not planning to leave, but Simon’s looking for a new place. The one next to yours is about to open up.

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Masterlist

[bullet-prooflove]

19. So whatcha say we cancel our plans?

Tonight I'm only gonna be your man

With Nicholas Baxter 💕 please

Tagging: @kmc1989@burningpeachpuppy@est1887 @wabi-sabi1090 @mini-bee-bee

The Romantic - Nick has always been a romantic when it comes to you.

Distraction - You distract Nick from work.

Symphony (NSFW) - Nick welcomes you home in his own special way.

Come Back To Bed - Nick tries to coax you back to bed.

How High - You say jump, Nick asks how high.

Nick doesn’t tell you he’s tired. In fact he actively tries to hide it because he’s promised to take you out tonight to make up for the other two dinners he had to cancel and he doesn’t want to disappoint you.

“I just need a quick shower.” He tells you as he hurtles through the front door an hour late because his trial overran. He slips off his shoes and hangs up his coat on the rack before he pokes his head into the living room.

You’re already dressed up in a pretty black dress with purple irises embroidered into it and your hair pinned back with a silver hairclip. You look stunning, and an ache hits him in the chest because lately you always seem to be waiting on him.

“I promise I’ll be fifteen minutes, max.” He tells you and you smile and pick up your book, folding your legs underneath you on the couch.

It’s forty five minutes later that you realise that you haven’t heard any movement from upstairs. You sigh picking up the phone to cancel your reservation before ordering take out instead. When you enter the bedroom, you find Nick still clad in his court clothes sleep on the bed.

He wakes up to the feel of your lips brushing over his forehead and he opens his eyes to see you standing over him, your hair falling loose across your features, your face freshly scrubbed of makeup. The dress is gone and you’re clad in leggings and your old bobbled t-shirt from Julliard.

“Fuck what time…” He checks the watch on this wrist and his heart just sinks because the reservation you had that was over an hour ago.  “Rosie I…”

You silence him with a kiss, it’s nothing more than a tender brush of the lips but to Nick it’s everything because he understands that he’s forgiven, that you’re not mad at him for this.

“I’ve cancelled our plans for the night, ordered dinner.” You tell him as you draw away, your fingertips ghosting along the line of his jaw. “You’re wearing yourself out Nick, you need to stop and take a breath.”

“It’s this case…” He tells as he shuffles into a sitting position, his back coming to rest against the headboard. “…it’s taking up all my time, all my energy.”

“I know.” You say, climbing into his lap and cradling his face between his hands. “That’s why you’ve got to communicate with me, tell me if you’re struggling.”

He sighs then because acknowledging his own limitations, it doesn’t come easily to him. His job doesn’t allow him to show weakness and it’s hard to take off that armour sometimes when he steps through the door.

“I’ll try Rosie.” He tells you, his forehead coming to rest upon yours. “I promise you’ll try.”

Love Nick? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[names-for-alters]

Hello one and all, alters and headmates! I am Charlie! I like to make lists! I also hoard names! Are you looking for a name? GREAT! You can send an ask and request a specific aesthetic or origin of name, or you can look at my list!

With that said…

…Cracks knuckles…

Findo Tach Tails Flicker Tracer Kat Iris Blu Brick Arlo Sammy Artie Finn Stein Aleksandr Vora Olive Luna Nyx Cyrus Qrow Orian Cello Onyx Skye Grim Opal Dawn Azure Fish Bones Poppy Bronze Eggs Sparky Specs Snickers Trout Navi Bingo Chili Bandit Stripe Busker Socks Brandy Frisky Winston Lucky Chucky Bently Judo Rusty Max Honey Indie Calypso Striker Merle Moxxie Vex Ant Bugger Bee Spider Tails Hook Indigo Amber Coco Coral Scarlet Ivory Jade Ruby Emerald Chuck Loden Copper Hamelin Neo Shepard Cinnamon Visor Macalister Soul Hack Hiccup Flynn Rider Astrid Jay Raven Robyn Bolt Dagger Viper Tracer Cornwall Flock Sapphire Crystal Ghost Mochi Trick Catra Rose Raven Flip Chani Racket Red Crimson Dragon Runt Scotch Tellie Gator Croc Crow Goat Duck Creeper Kuma Jet Jeep Draco Poppy Sombra Raine Squish Spike Blaze Ender Drake Sandy MK PJ DJ CJ MJ King Creak Shadow Clay Dusty Miles Dart Willow Antonius Husk Moth Cypher Jin Yin Yang Daisy Gray / Grey Alistair Halo Angel Cake Fennec Fox Null Lull Bastion Lucky Sun Star Cosmo Tweety Vox Nerys Sonic Bark Birch Oak Cherry Blossom Peaches Velvet Shell Coffee Valley Fang Moot Redpath Pudding X V Jr Ether Fig Trunk Joy Frogger Snowflake Snowball Snow Jumper Racket Flare Vendetta Loonie Coin Six Eleven Tropica Stelina Mojave Ink Sud Fender Zero Pollen Wysteria Page Ozias Rex Tortch Buck Nickel Stripe Lynch Tramp Wolf Pup Tank Jhariah Kharma Zenith Sparrow Prism Lemon Mune Lamb Pyke Diamond Parker Graves Fizz Nugget Melody Tink Blight Fangless Ambress Vulture Eclipse Luka Bangle Constance Constantine Sommar Babble Clank Bobble Chipper Aidan Slate Tin Twire Zephyr Silver Misty Faunus Atlas Birdie Brook Cedar Chip Coal Daisy Ember Faye Fate Fern Flint Harmony Helios Ivy Junx Kit Lyria Phoebe Piper Lady Beacon Elos Rumble Ida Cross Zed Scootie Smidge Clauger Happy Sonny Hath Soldier River Song Clawtor Videl Legen Onen Chunk Reid Pop Cobra Cash Clover Saris Volante Donna Belladonna Gale Chopper Morphias Vidia Loft Kape Levi Licker Howl Dustin Newt Creek Breezy Polaris Blight Archer Sirius Warren Dream Goon Cookie Ranger Amity Jericho Viggo Besko Asra Alice Olaf Mossfeld Issic Missy Rascal Creasy Nonya Hex Pita Miguel Manuel Rayburn Daisy Dash Lucky Becky Steele Cylo Featherstone Kingston Netherfield Reacher Saltburn Quick Rubble Dust Brimstone Humble Ado Grover Norvanos Leshy Blade Cooper Calcium

Leo

Leonardo

Lebony

Silver

Linzier

Pearl

blackberry

Tatin

Bud

Raphael

Pebble

Mina

Linda

Oolong

Daeo/Dayo/Dao

Inco

Ketlyn

Risa

Ines

Lora

Flock

Lux

Rix

Reah

Destinty

Bet

Ange

Krixa

Lalien

Gloom

Bug

Rozy

Mars

Screech

Jenny

Robert

Patrick

Pierre Rosemary

Henderson

Mayfield

Sinclair

Sullivan

Hart

Solace

Daughtler

Stoll

Gatlin

Yearwood

Amos

Graves

Rothschild

Halley

Spektor

Presley

Redd

Blackwood

Notvletti

Valerie

Milo

Marian

Lychee

Aiden

Nova

Vel

Bel

Yuri

Puro

Pluto

Ramona

Angel

Nada

Shen

Mog

Hania

Udge

Kinetic

Kikos Wathel

Dupa

Sierre

Jimor

Teddy

coc

Scara

River

Shade

Foenem

Duck

Emily

Toast

Reunna

Ichigo

Rae

Sonic

MoonL

Lennus

cabaran

Marto

Leveer

Granite

Tongle

Gavril

Luella

Malachite

Leonard

[callmeoncette]

Do u take requests?

if u do can you make hobie brown x black reader where she beats the fuck out of this girl for flirting with her man. Like he clearly not interested, but she keeps insisting and then talks shit abt reader and reader goes ballistic on her ass.

thanks boo😘

Invited To The Cookout

Hobie x fem!black!reader

I remember someone mentioned they��d like to see him in a black southern cookout setting so I just mashed the two together if that’s okay with you!

Warnings: fighting, use of the n word, and a bit of suggestiveness at the end and I think that bout it

Hobie plucked away on his guitar, occasionally dodging a shirt or skirt, as he waited for you to get ready to go to one of your family’s many cookouts during the summer. He dressed casually. Black chucks, ripped up jeans with a few chains dangling, and a breezy band shirt because he learned very quickly that the southern heat in your dimension was nothing to mess with.

He smiled softly as he listened to you talk on FaceTime with your favorite cousin, who he mainly knew went by the nickname Bookie, trying to catch up on drama and coordinate your outfits. Your accent sounding thicker than normal as you two conversed.

“No cuz why my brother lie to that girl and tell her he was watching my baby? That negro ain’ watch shit but the back of his muthafuckin’ eyelids!” Your cousin said through the phone doing her hair

“He so weird for that like if you ain’ wanna go wit’ the girl just tell her…” you then smirked a bit and got closer to the camera, “I used to do that shit too tho’ I ain’t gonna’ lie.” You cackled like you’d list your mind. You then held up a large shirt and a pair of custom air force’s, “you think I should jus’ do these wit’ summ biker shorts? They go wit’ the colors Bee got on…” Bookie perked up, “oh my friend comin’?! HEY HOBIE!!” She yelled excited into the phone. He walked over to where you were and waved, the both of you laughing at her antics. She dropped her phone and the screen was black for a bit before she lifted it again to show her face along with a sweet baby girl’s, “Lala look! Its Hobie!” The baby babbling excitedly. You ‘awed’ softly at the sight before it was interrupted by your cousin pulling a confused face as she mumbled along reading something. Her face then fell as she groaned. Hobie quirked a brow while you asked her what was wrong, “Maggie bringin’ Tisha. You gon’ see yo bestie girl!” She laughed. Your face fell, “Stop playin’ wit’ me Bookie. You know I don’t like that girl.”

Hobie looked at your irritated face in confusion. You’d never mentioned the girl before but there’s clearly some history between the two of you. “Well alright…I’ll see you when you get at Granny’s girl. Khalil just got home from work so imma fix him a lil summ before we go.” Bookie said as her boyfriend walked behind her placing a kiss on the top of her head. You said your goodbye and hung up, laying your phone down a bit aggressively.

He stood behind you as silence took over. A pout on your face as you started doing your hair. His fingers drummed on his pants, “right, so who’s Tisha?” His voice is normally cool with a tinge of curiosity only you could pick up. You sighed a bit while rolling your eyes at the mention of her, “this bobble head bitch I can’t stand! Me and her been beefing since middle school.” you roughly brushed out your hair before he took the tool from your hands. He nodded, “the anarchist in me is screamin’ to tell you to fuck up the slag but I know you been wantin’ me to come to your ends and meet your fam’. ‘Ow bout we just avoid her and ‘ave a good time, yeah?” A soft kissed placed on your forehead, then your cheek, then your nose. You giggled lightly and pushed his face away, “okay! Okay fine! Now lemme hurry up an’ finish cuz we gotta pick up the drinks.” You say with a small smile.

———

You guys pulled up to your family home. The house wasn’t large and grand but the energy of it and the land made up for it. The yard and backyard was full of your relatives who waved and stared as you got out with Hobie. He looked around at everyone and let out a low whistle at the sight. He felt a familiar tingle and turn to see your cousin’s boyfriend holding their one year old, “it’s a lot right? I still be stuck everytime we come to one of these.” Khalil said with baby Jayla on his hip. Hobie hummed while he dapped the man up, “my guy!” He then squinted as he looked around, “she always said ‘er fam’ was bare big. Just didn’t think it was this big.” Khalil nodded, his locs swinging, “yeah they all hella cool tho’ ‘cept for like a few. [name] prolly explain that to you tho’ so…” the man shrugged lightly making his daughter laugh.

You walked up to the boys with Bookie laughing. She quickly held Khalil’s hand and turned to you, “c’mon girl. You know we gotta speak to Granny and Gran before anybody else.” She said to which you nodded knowing that in your family you spoke to the matriarchs first. It wasn’t really a rule, more so something you just did. You two led the way to the porch of the house where your great grandmother sat in a rocking chair with a thin blanket over her lap. She slowly turned to peer at your group and you spoke up first, “hey Gran.” She squinted with a frail smile, “hey, w-who you baby?” She asked, confused. “It’s [name], [mother’s name] daughter? I’m one of your great grandkids.” A bright smile come on her face as well as a look of realization. She nodded, “yes! I remember honey. How you been?” She asked but before you could answer her attention turned to Hobie who awkwardly stood beside you, “oh. He one my grands too?” You all laughed a bit. You shook you head and gently corrected her, “no Gran. He’s my boyfriend.” She nodded “I thought so. Too tall to be one of mine.” You giggled again and hugged her, “imma go see Granny now okay? It was good talkin’ to you.” You then led Hobie into the house while your cousin had her time with the woman.

“She’s a peach. ‘Ow old she anyways?” Hobie had thrown an arm over your shoulders and leaned down closer to you. You rolled your eyes, “you not supposed to ask a lady her age.” He pulled you closer, “yeah, but I didn’t ask the lady I asked someone else. Bit of a loophole, innit?” You sucked you teeth and pushed him with a laugh. “She’s 97.” He let out a low whistle, “97 years. That’s mad long!” He said in a bit of disbelief. You held the hand of the arm thrown over your shoulders and hummed in agreement walking to the kitchen where you knew your favorite woman was.

There she stood cutting up cheese for the macaroni while she hummed along with a song by Big Jay McNeely. Seeing her made you feel like a little girl again. How you always nagged her while she cooked and she’d answer your questions without missing a beat.

“Hey Granny.”

She looked up and broke out into a smile. She came over and hugged you tightly, “oh my sweet girl!” She pulled back and looked you up and down, “lemme get a good look atcha!” She hummed happily. Her eyes drifted to Hobie, “and who is this handsome young man?” A welcoming smile on her face. “This is Hobie Granny. My boyfriend.” He stuck out his hand, “it’s nice to meet yo-oh!” Your grandmother had yanked him into a tight hug. She pulled back up looked up at him, “oh so tall! My grandbabies pickin’ right might finally get some height in this family.” She squinted as she peered at his piercings, “all these piercings don’t that hurt sweetie?” You sigh and save Hobie pulling him back to your side, “Granny.” She waved you off, “I know. He’s still very nice on the eyes.” She smirked. She then looked back to Hobie, “now. Thought I heard an accent in there. Where you from?” “London ma’am.” He replied respectfully. She nodded, “okay, okay. Well I hope you hungry cuz I’m almost done in here.” “Smells bangin’. Can’t wait to eat it.”

Before anyone could say anything else Bookie came in, “Granny I brought your only great grand can I get the first plate?”

“Girl!”

———

Hobie sat down beside you at the picnic table eating. In front of the two of you was your cousin and her crew. As he ate he kept feeling someone’s eyes on him and every time he looked up it was the same girl. She was white from what he could tell, had black hair to her shoulders with her edges done, a septum, and over lined lips with lipliner and gloss combo you usually used. She would smirk whenever their eyes met but it never went further than that.

Once everyone finished eating you turned to him wiping the corner of his mouth, “want some dessert baby?” He smiled softly, “that’d be lovely, doll.”. Bookie stood with you also going to get some while Khalil went off to change Jayla leaving the punk alone. That is until the mystery girl sat herself beside him a little too close for comfort.

“Hey.” Her tone making him scoot over a bit.

“Uh hi.” He said before pulling out his phone hoping she wouldn’t continue talking but of course luck wasn’t on his side. “I saw you wit’ [name]…” she her name with a smidge of venom that he caught, “y’all like friends or summ?” He continued scrolling on his phone but answered her, “bit more than that, mate.” She sucked her teeth in annoyance, “what wrong wit’ you? She don’t let you have friends?”

“Not with bitches holding onto that one black grandma like their life depends on it.” Oh thank goodness for Bookie.

You stood beside her with a stank face and two bowls of banana pudding. You placed one in front of him and placed yours at your seat but chose to stand and stare at the girl.

“You know you don’t talk like that in real life Tisha.”

Oh fuck.

The girl stayed at her seat beside Hobie and rolled her eyes, “whatever girl. He ain’t yo nigga. Yours busy with that baby so worry ‘bout that!”

Everyone started taking notice of the discussion. Tisha’s friends, including a distant cousin of yours, coming over.

Bookie screwed her face up and almost lept across the table till Khalil swooped in, “mention my kid again and I promise you. He ain’t gon be able to keep me from you.” She growled.

You glared at the girl, “he ain’t hers but he mine and he clearly don’t wanna talk to you. I suggest you stop sayin’ nigga by the way before actual niggas tag yo head.”

“She’s part black…”

“Shut yo dumbass up Maggie oh my god!”

“I think he can speak for himself.” Tisha said snidely.

It happened so fast but it also felt like slow motion. Even with his spidey sense Hobie didn’t see the attack coming.

After her snide remark you promptly dragged Tisha from the table and commenced to beating dat ass! Like you really whooped that hoe! Walked that girl like a dog! Honestly you should be ashamed of yourself. Shame on you [name]. Shame! Why you do that girl like that?!

When you finally got dragged off of her by Hobie who whispered in your ear trying to calm you down she was just a mess on the ground. Her wig as gone, she was missing a sandal, she had holes all in her leggings, and as much as she tried to cover it she had a knot and black eye.

Everyone whispered around shocked before one of you uncles spoke up, “aight now. Someone get the girl up off the flo’. Get her on home.” He said as her friends came to her aid. He shook his head mumbling, “shouldn’t been talkin’ shit.”

———

You sat at the kitchen table hissing in pain, “ow! That hurts Hobes!” He sucked his teeth, “oi, pipe down Mayweather. It’s not that bad.” He said as he internally winced, putting bandaids on your fingers where your nails broke off too close. You pouted before looking at him as he carefully worked, “I’m sorry I did that.” The man snorted before actually full blown laugh. “What are you apologizin’ for? Did wha’ you had to do, yeah?” His tone is light and playful. He then smirked, “it was a bit hot too…” he kissed your hands as he placed the last bandage. You looked at him with low eyes, “oh yeah?” “Yeah…”

“Ouuuu y’all in Granny kitchen being nasty!”

“You have a whole baby??? Get out???”

“Okay but lemme get summ of that potato salad behind you before I go.”

“BOOKIE!”

[ddrqoyote]

173 Influential SCPs

I went to SCPper, found the most upvoted articles by users who've made at least one SCP, and sorted by time. These aren't necessarily the 173 best articles on the site, but I think they're likely to be the most influential. Longtime fans have probably read most or all of these but maybe this could be a starting point for newcomers.

I think sorting by time is important because the Foundation's been around almost 17 years. Writers come and go, trends come and go, new writers are influenced by what came before, and later articles are often longer and more complex than earlier ones. Just sorting by most upvoted bounces you around time; on the main wiki you read mostly series 1 articles then get dunked into SCP-5000. I hope this is a more natural progression, and that by the end people have more context for what's going on.

Using upvotes from writers only is important because the more writers like an article, the more likely later SCPs are to be influenced by it, so those articles are more likely to be important for understanding the wiki as a whole.

I might do an alternate version of this list that replaces the extremely long articles with shorter SCPs.

If you have trouble understanding one of the articles (some of the later ones get LONG), look it up on r/SCPDeclassified. If you would prefer audio narration/explanations, The Exploring Series and TheVolgun are both excellent. And of course, make sure to look in the sidebar on the wiki for guides, lists and explanations.

SERIES IV AND LATER ARE IN REBLOGS DUE TO TUMBLR'S POST LIMIT

Series I Era

SCP-173 - The Sculpture - The Original

SCP-093 - Red Sea Object

SCP-294 - The Coffee Machine

SCP-682 - Hard-to-Destroy Reptile

SCP-055 - [unknown]

SCP-914 - The Clockworks

SCP-085 - Hand-drawn "Cassy"

SCP-184 - The Architect

SCP-231 - Special Personnel Requirements

SCP-990 - Dream Man

SCP-999 - The Tickle Monster

SCP-835 - Expunged Data Released

SCP-701 - The Hanged King's Tragedy

SCP-586 - Inscribable Object

SCP-610 - The Flesh that Hates

Log of Anomalous Items Vol I

SCP-087 - The Stairwell

SCP-049 - Plague Doctor

Revised Entry

Document Recovered from the Marianas Trench

SCP-426 - I am a Toaster

SCP-096 - The "Shy Guy"

SCP-106 - The Old Man

SCP-140 - An Incomplete Chronicle

Kill 682

SCP-001-Bright - The Factory

SCP-666-J - The Roaring Flames of Hell

SCP-895 - Camera Disruption

SCP-5308-J - The Collection

SCP-8900-EX - Sky Blue Sky

black white black white black white black white black white gray

Eldritch Application

Nobody Knows

SCP-871 - Self-Replacing Cake

SCP-001-Mann - The Spiral Path

Series II Era

SCP-1000 - Bigfoot

SCP-902 - The Final Countdown

SCP-993 - Bobble the Clown

Transcript of Dr. Clef's seminar, "Reality Benders and You: How to Survive When Existence Doesn't."

SCP-001-Swann - The Database

Bees

SCP-006-J - WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING

10:30 A.M.

Ethics Committee Orientation

SCP-1959 - The Lost Cosmonaut

SCP-____-J - Procrastinati

SCP-1048 - Builder Bear

SCP-001-EX-J - Records of the CKG Gathering

SCP-1893 - The Minotaur's Tale

SCP-1983 - Doorway to Nowhere

SCP-1733 - Season Opener

SCP-1230 - A Hero is Born

SCP-1322 - Glory Hole

SCP-1370 - Pesterbot

SCP-1193 - Buried Giant

SCP-1545 - Larry the Loving Llama

SCP-1981 - "RONALD REAGAN CUT UP WHILE TALKING"

SCP-even number-J - An [Adjective] [Animal]

SCP-1867 - A Gentleman

SCP-1609 - The Remains of a Chair

SCP-1440 - The Old Man from Nowhere

SCP-1425 - Star Signals

SCP-1173 - The Islamic Republic of Eastern Samothrace

SCP-1171 - Humans Go Home

SCP-1678 - UnLondon

UIU Orientation

SCP-1437 - A Hole to Another Place

SCP-1958 - Magic Bus

Quiet Days

Why Change?

SCP-186 - To End All Wars

Treats

SCP-348 - A Gift from Dad

SCP-1295 - Meg's Diner

SCP-1342 - To the Makers of Music

SCP-1504 - Joe Schmo

The Executions of Doctor Bright

SCP-1471 - MalO ver1.0.0

The Young Man

wowwee go kill ursefl

[monsterfloofs]

(Not sure if these slimes will become the sentient goo being I mentioned in my rambles, but this was a cute short story and it brought me a lot of joy to write xD )

You had to admit, you had a soft spot for slimes. The bobbling rounded dewdrop creatures struck you as cute. As a young adventurer they had been daunting creatures, but as you traveled and became seasoned the less of a threat they became. However you recall even when first starting out, the jelly-like beings didn't make you feel as nervous as other more formidable creatures you knew you were going to come across along the road.

You could never really take them seriously, they wibbled and wobbled, shuffled, rolled and bounced around. Now as their attacks felt merely like burning bee stings, the antics were mostly viewed as endearing.

On the outskirts of a quaint village, right beside a sprinkling of trees that melded into a dense forest. You open up your satchel, flipping it upside down and shaking the bag until a blue jiggling mass falls out and bounces into the grass. You stoop to a crouch next to the small translucent creature, watching it ripple and undulate with the last vibrations from its fall. It's wobbling, slowing down until it rests benignly on the earth. Your hands resting on your knees.

"There you go lil buddy, back to where you belong. I still don't know how you managed to sneak into town to begin with, but I am glad you didn't end up getting trampled."

The little blue creature doesn't make any signs that it acknowledges your words, nor does it move to attack you. Simply laying by your feet, not showing any signs of stirring. You smile, thrusting a hand into your inner coat pocket and pulling out a cloth package. Slowly peeling back the fabric layers to expose a pastry you had been saving to eat later that evening. You pinch the sweet between your thumb and forefinger, careful not to touch the gooey thin film of the slime's surface, you place the treat on the top of its domed body.

"There you go. A snack for your trip."

You watch with curiosity as its skin around the pastry begins to soften, a little sucking popping sound as the treat is pulled into its nucleus and engulfed. You stand at the sound, your eyes lingering on the little creature a moment more before you turn your heels back towards the tiny town with soft yellow lights just beginning to flicker in dark windows.

The tiny slime sits, feeling your presence ebb away. A tiny gush of noise as it slurps at the pastry in its round body. It begins to ripple, then, with a determined bounce, it hops after you. Traveling a safe enough distance behind you that it remains unnoticed.

You find yourself running into this situation more and more. Once they started cropping up, they were everywhere.

"What am I, a slime whisperer?" You mumbled grumpily before raising your voice. "Hey– HEY, that's my boot!" You grapple with a peachy pink blob, pulling at your leather shoe until it dislodges with a mighty blorp! You fall backwards, grabbing a towel and trying to dab at the sticky liquids before it starts to seep into the leather and begin to digest the material.

"Comeon now, really?"

You blink as you feel another one of the blobbular beings snuggle up to you, and you freeze. Looking down at the mint green undulating mass. You hesitantly watch it, looking for signs of it trying to eat your coat before you carefully pat it with your hand. Giving the surface membrane a light smacking that makes the creature wobble like jelly on a tray. A happy sound between a chirp and a schlurp coming from it.

You realized as more started to follow you around and pester you, that the little dew drops had conscious control between how their skin acted between eating and resting. A thin clear membrane, stretching over the body of the creature was malleable enough to let foods in and stop foreign objects from getting inside them, or corroding away in water. Which was a good thing, or else you would have gained more burns than you would have liked from dealing with your new persistent entourage.

"I'm never going to be let into a respectable town again," You let yourself moan, putting on a spare pair of shoes, and then, remembering you recently wrestled a boot away from one of the blobs, you stand up and put them into a high crook of a tree, so they can dry without running the risk of being absorbed.

"Let's see," You turn around, pointing at the little creatures. "One, two. . . oh boy, where did Blue go?" The mint slime nudges at your heels from attention while the pink trundles up to the tree.

"Don't even think about it, you don't even have eyes and I know what you're looking at."

The pink one boggles at you, in response you crease your face into a comical frown and shake your head at them disapprovingly. Yes try as you might, they learned the pink one is a glutton compared to the other two, like a curious teething puppy. Well, if a puppy was a pink loaf made out of acidic goo, that is. The simile still stood strong in any case, if something appeared edible, the pink one had to try consuming it. If you weren't fast enough to catch it in the act, you had to sulkily watch whatever it had scarfed down slowly corrode away into nothingness.

"To think," You muttered in frustration, of all the monsters I could have babysit, it had to be things made out of acid. . . good grief. Yet, despite your grumblings you moved to pick up the mint slime, and it wibbled and sloshed back and forth. Pushing its form up and down like a happy sentient water puddle.

[eldritch-spouse]

The Clergy’s Eye employees/monsters ranked on how much I’d trust them to watch my cat Emma! I apologize if I misspell names or if I forget someone

For context: I wouldn’t be the Admin, and personality wise Emma is sorta like a dog. She actually likes playing in water, and she follows me around a lot. She is a hunter though

TLDR to start off

NO: Vinnel, Magus+Glauk, Krulu, Sybastian, Hellion

Its not that I don’t trust them, it’s that I don’t trust her: Morrel, Patches, The Bobbles (excluding Agner), The Cleric, Colmei, Gallon

Sure, why not?: Agner, Santi, Pebbles, Nebul

The best options: Fank-E, Grimbly, Belo

Now for specific reasonings!

Vinnel: Whether or not Vinnel is good at it, doesn’t matter (though I doubt he’d be great) I’m sorry Pinnie, I just hate Vinnel and want to spend as little time around him as possible

Magus and Glauk: Do I even need to explain? I mean she likes water but come on. I’d be better off leaving her to fend for herself

Krulu: He’d likely thing the task “beneath him” Unlike the previous ranking, though, I would consider him if he was the only option.

Sybastian: Sorta between “NO” and “Not that I don’t trust them, I don’t trust her” in that I don’t think he’d be all that good at caring for her needs, but also she might try and hunt the mimiclings which NOBODY wants to see the aftermath of.

Hellion: Yeah no I just don’t trust him

Morrel: I think he’d have enough self control to not do anything bad to her, but Emma? Listen she’s not a very bitey cat but you can never be too sure. And she is MUCH more likely to break skin than a human. Even if she doesn’t bite him and get poisoned, she’d still mess with the bobbles and knock over stuff in the kitchen and steal food. I care about Emma too much and I respect Morrel too much to put her in his care.

Patches: She’d just get in the way. Best case scenario she’d be sleeping in a spare pumpkin but let’s be honest she’s probably tormenting the bobbles.

Speaking of Bobbles..: No. She’d try and kill them.

The Cleric: They have bigger things to focus on. Plus she’d probably get tangled in the strings soo..

Colmei: If it weren’t for the bees, he’d go in the “Sure, why not?” category. But Emma HAS stuck her paw down a hornet nest before. Don’t trust her.

Gallon: She’d be a menace. Knocking over bottles, getting cat hair everywhere, stealing sips from drinks, getting caught in the goop a couple times. Not a fun experience and I respect Gallon too much for that.

Agner: Nothing notable to say! I think he’d do a decent job.

Santi: As long as he’d not feeding (don’t want to traumatize her or have him and whoever he’s fucking get stared at by a cat) I think he could do a good job!

Pebbles: Nothing notable to say, once again. I think it’d be cute though.

Nebul: Long as he can keep her chill and away from the products, I think it’d turn out well. Maybe he’d had to tell Purpur to be careful with her though. Give the “pets for sale” a little serotonin to brighten their day.

Fank-E: Omg I would get SO MANY cute silly pictures by the end of it!!! Probably make like ten more viral memes with her, get her internet famous. I would have to make sure he doesn’t dye her pink or something though.

Grimbly: I think he would LOVE her, as long as he’s on break. Pretty bows and glitter galore. Just uh, try not to get TOO much glitter on her, don’t want her to get sick. Maybe make it edible glitter for when she grooms her fur.

Belo: The best of the best and my first choice! I mean, cuddling with an angel already has to be an amazing experience, but a FLUFFY ANGEL? I think he would be determined to take good care of her too! Plus, they say cats can sense vibes, and I mean, considering everyone else Belo probably would have half decent vibes.

So that’s my ranking! Signing off

- Spooky Anon 🕸️

To be fair, I agree with most of these too.

Except Pebble and Fank-e, for similar reasons.

Pebble is too nervous. Animals sense that nervous energy and they generally don't like it. I think your cat may react aggressively or negatively in general based on that. And, at the first hint of aggression, Pebble is putting distance between himself and the feline. He might even lose her.

Fank-e is an animal repellent. He's very LOUD, makes odd sounds, probably smells like all sorts of artificial products that are awful to a cat's nose, and he's hyper. He'd love to spend time with your cat, but to her, he's probably the equivalent of a blaring alarm on two legs.

[petrichorium]

Was tagged by @suguwu so ty bee 🥺

Game: pick random stuff in your room and let people vote on what they want to take

open tag like normal!!!!

[ask-a-bot]

Hey, Bee! Played any new games with Star and Hot Rod? What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Same question for Star, Rod, Megs, and Prime if the two are able.

I personally like any flavor that doesn’t contain dairy or nuts. I have a dairy and nut allergy that can make me very sick to my stomach.🤒

Hi! We've played Among Us with Kup. That was fun. Star showed us all Pallia too. That's a pretty relaxing game.

We all had a go at the new EarthSpark game too – that was fun.

Yeah... surprised you liked that, Rod.

Why? It was fun!

Favourite ice cream? Anything with marshmallow in it.

Ooh! Wait... that's an Earth thing.

A little bit doesn't hurt.

When have you ever only had a little bit, though?

Stop ganging up on me!

Look, all we're saying is that there are Cybertronian ice cream flavours.

Yeah! I like pinkberry oilcake flavour.

Now you're talking!

I like chocolate flavour.

Chocolate flavour does go very nicely with sliced hydrafruit.

Or oil cake.

Mmmm!

I like bobble flavour (it's a kind of fruit).

They look a little like turquoise cherries. They taste like... like...

Bobbles. I like anything fruit flavoured, I guess.

[queer-lovebot]

Andrew would totally buy like. Stupid petty gifts for the Foxes. Buying embroidered pillows that say “Live Laugh Slaughter”. Corny Christmas and birthday cards. Novelty shirts. Bobble heads. Once he realizes Neil’s friends are to stay and they are trying to get along with him, he gets them each one gift Once on his own accord and it’s always something silly. Kinda like how he buys those glass animals for Bee but less serious and more for his own amusement.

[double-yellows]

Good morning y’all. I was trying to find an F1-themed gift for my MV33-loving cousin to make up for the fact that I bought him a Ferrari hat to grind his gears (I eventually decided his preferred driver winning the championship was gift enough, and also some nice chocolate), and came across some truly unhinged things along the way. Enough that I was inspired to make this, in case you need to find any last-minute gifts for your mutuals and/or haters:

First, a Candle with a Grim Warning…

I bet George is a man who smells great, as long as he didn’t just get out of an F1 car. Maybe even then! It might be all the money, but who knows, maybe he was born with it. The nice thing about this candle is that YOU can choose whatever you think George Russell smells like. Cashmere and Vanilla? Oatmilk and Honey? Sea Salt and Orchid? I might go Cocoa Butter and Cashmere, since I bet his girlfriend forces him to moisturize regularly. If you think George Russell smells like an old sweater or your Republican ex-boyfriend or something, you can also choose from Kmag, Pierre, Este, Valtteri, and a few other drivers (no Lewis, which is, tbh, anti-Lo-core).

For the One Who’s Always Cold

Frankly, who didn’t look at Lewis Hamilton wrapped up in a cozy tire blanket at Imola in 2021 and think “ugh, I wish that were me”? Now, that can be you or your chilly pal, sort of. If you’d prefer a longer-lasting tire blanket, there’s also a mediums version.

For the One Who Desperately Wants to Snack on a Pirelli

Yea, they’re made of fondant, but honestly? That probably captures the texture of a soft tire pretty well. You could also bake them some more edible tire-shaped cookies in case they take one bite of fondant and throw the entire tire allocation for the weekend in the garbage (lowkey I’m about to buy those for myself).

For the One Who’s Got a Twink Menagerie

They’ve got a lot of those little bastards to wrangle, so when it’s time to go to the supermarket for snacks and energy drinks, they need something to keep their charges from wandering out into the parking lot or getting stuck in the ice cream freezer. Zak Brown approved!

For the One Who Collects Diecast Models

Sure, the scale model cars look nice on the shelf, but YAWN, boring! Encourage them to recreate their favorite overtakes while making vroom vroom noises. Make sure you bring them a choccy milk after.

For the Sebfucker Who Has Everything

Sure, they may have a cool bee shirt, ugly-cute AMF1 bobble beanie, and a soulcrushing longing to see Seb race at Hockenheim one more time, but do they have 2013 Seb bowing down to the car on a pair of kicks, in his favorite color? No, they do not. Kinda like the man himself, these are equal parts cringe and sexy.

For the One Who’s Not Like Other Girls (Because She’s a Car)

“Muscle car woman drag racing” the listing says - What else do you need to know? Throw her car-sona on it and call it a day.

For the One Who Spent So Much Time Karting that They Almost Forgot to Learn How to Read

Because they have their priorities straight, and a strong command of English’s (often befuddling) grammar is definitely below getting that personal best lap time down a couple more hundredths of a second.

Finally, For Your Favorite Driver

They’re your babygirl, even the ones that are middle aged men (ESPECIALLY those ones). Make them announce it to the world proudly and bejeweledly.

[patito-oward]

Knew I loved hitch, Rossi, and thim since the “would you bang an alien debacle” and I’m glad to see I was right abt them

That fear is really real though I love Sargeant but his Florida-ness threw me off and I was worried I was going to learn some bad things abt him but (especially with how he interacts with fans) he seems like a sweet guy

wait i’m glad you brought up fan interactions because i’ve been wanting to talk about this for a minute, and haven’t gotten around to it but since you brought it up. i don’t blame drivers for the way they interact with fans and make that an overall measure of their character.

(now there could be some exceptions to this if a driver is being super rude to fans but let’s talk in a general sense)

alex literally almost hit me with his golf cart in the garages on carb day while trying to escape fans, and i fully support him, and if you had seen it you would have to. so he’s getting ready to go out for the pit stop challenge and he’s one of the first cars, so he does not have a lot of time to get back to the pits. well he walks out of a garage, gets to his golf cart, signs 2 things, and all of a sudden there’s a line of at least 15 people forming, and he bee lines out of there. there’s an entire month where the drivers are basically forced to live at the track, and everytime they leave a secure area have fans crowding them, they literally can’t leave the garages to pee a lot of times (rossi said he carries around water bottles to pee in)

the complete opposite of alex is pato, who will stop and take pictures for every fan, and the way fans treat him honestly makes me sick. do not get me wrong i also want signatures and pictures with drivers and i do ask for and take them, (you can literally hear me ask hinch to sign my bobble head in the carb day live ep 🫣) but there’s a level of respect you have to give. also on carb day pato came out for the pit stop challenge at the same time as rossi but he was one of the last cars going, so he had extra time and stood and signed and took pictures with 30 people, i literally left before him. and pato is so sweet and great with his fans and that is awesome and as a fan i love it.

what i don’t love is seeing that when doing a grid walk every other car is just and no one even thinks about touching it, and pato’s car has to be roped off with people standing around making sure no one touches the car. all of the drivers have golf carts or scooters and most of them just park them by the door to their garages and walk in and out freely, pato has to park his scooter in a roped off area by a door to make sure no one messes with him or his scooter. pato has to walk out of the garages with body guards (not really but someone is always with him). it is just ridiculous that he gives so much and people insist on taking more.

so this is my PSA to all fans of all drivers to learn time and place. if a driver looks in a rush, head up, not paying attention to people calling them names, has somewhere to be, leave them alone! if you get the privilege of going into a secured area, look with your eyes not your hands, take pictures of the cars and appreciate you’re so close to them, do not try to climb on the cars. if a driver decides they want to be in the crowd interacting with fans that is not an invitation to touch them!! they are people too and at the end of the day they’re just doing their job, how would you like it if everytime you did your job you had people screaming at you, touching you/your equipment, and slowing you down, you wouldn’t.

[orangetubor]

I'm back again!

DOMES! so- what can u tell me about the space and education domes. I'm so interested. Why are they separated based off of activity? Are all the domes in a giant ish dome? ALSO WHAT DO MARTIANS FARM. POTATOES? what kind of recreational activities are in the recreational dome?

Also what are the fatal flaws of your ocs... I love finding out about this stuff if u cant tell. Any funny (or otherwise) story that any of them would tell about another to like describe one of them? (that sounds very confusing but basically when I introduce folks that are my idiot friends, I give a memorable story that makes people go "ah, that's such a (friend name) thing" (e.g. One of my ex friends from school ate her essay out of spite - she wrote it on rice paper and wanted to spook the teacher)

And yes I've seen the whole "I think I'm attracted to you because youre the hottest person I know" so AMAZING JOB- I love ur ocs!!!

Respectfully curious,

a nerd who likes knowing lore and science (and character!!)

(I'M SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS IS I'M JUST REALLY INTERESTED)

I'm gonna do the flaws first bcs it won't take as long so:

Martha: gets sad cuz she doesn't have a specific 'thing' like the rest of her friends (jenny's the tech guy, Evelyn's the animal guy) and she gets sad cuz she thinks you need a thing to work in and aspire to in order to live your life to the fullest

Tammy: doesn't think. Like at all ever. No internal dialogue nothing in that brain half the time she's just playing rock music on loop. Lights are on but no one's home except the lights aren't even on

Jenny: builds little robots and then gets existential about creating a pseudo life to fulfil one singular purpose. Continues to build little robots anyway.

Thomas: internal dialogue goes 100 miles a second and so when he has to take a second to actually think he just. Blanks. He also has awful memory due to things getting pushed so far back by unrelated tangents

Genji/James: has a mullet

Aled: catastrophises a LOT and overthinks literally everything he's just handing Thomas a hair bobble and he's like 'wait is this elasticy enough. Oh no there's a hair on it oh no. What if my hands sweaty what then-' baby girl it is a hair bobble

Georgie: previous break ups have left her feeling like she isn't interesting enough, now she has to always give her two cents or else she thinks she's forgettable

Dane: ~\_(°u°)_/~

Sahrah: given her uniqueness as a weird fucked up entirely new species she feels like her life has to be perfect so that her mother species doesn't get a bad rap, especially since her mother is the first of her kind to live in mars. Also she's really supposed to be a litter animal but she was the only one who survived to birth so she's lonely a lot of the time

Fun story: Martha says 'the first time me and Tammy met was when she needed someone to show a dead bee to. She asked me if I wanted to pet it'

And ... DOMES!;;

educational dome has the schools and colleges in it, a few corner stores for hungry students, it's not that interesting other than the fact that there are geese for some reason

Space dome is basically just space science stuff, it's got telescopes, research for crops, rockets, exploration base, it's also the original dome! The very first one built by the robots they sent here so that the researchers had somewhere to stay.

What kind of crops do martians grow? Well, any they can get there hands on, there are several small climate controlled domes used to grow different things, deserty, tropical, whatever Ireland is, and some animal domes that rotate various animals and grain, it's also home to the farm house that hosts the majority of Halloween parties. There's also the eden dome, which isn't connected to the farm fines, but to the space domes! It was home to the very first crops grown on mars. (Which, of course, included potatoes) and then if course. The big dome. The super massive one that uses my new favourite thing: AQUAPONICS!! obviously you can't feed an entire small country with just plain kabd, you need stacks! You need later upon layer of fish, water, wires, dirt, plants, synthetic sunlight, and more fish! They also synthesize a lot of meat because it's sci-fi. I can do what I want. And it's better for the air cuz farm animals produce a lot of gas

The recreational domes have shops, cinemas, various sports centres, a nice park, and also hosts lots of festivals. There's also a small 'market dome' that's connected to the residential dome so you don't have to go all that way to pick up some eggs or something. (Martha and Tammy's favourite thing to do is go roller skating at 'saturns rings' also there's a diner where the waiters are all in roller skates)

As to why they're separated, it makes it easier for me to design them in a cool way. Also the air inside is very different to the air outside, so smaller domes make it easier to manage, and keep out the sticky martian sand while building.

Martian sand is ridiculous

[axolozzy]

my friends said my room is very autistic so i’m making a post about all the silly autistic things in my room because i’m bored

first we have the three tumblr sexyman (and spamton showing his whole spamussy. sorry about that)

yes my walls are green screen color because my 13 year old self was obsessed with lime green and i still am

next we have garfield who watches me sleep. very silly. and also Rubik’s cubes because i’m autistic

this fucking thing

gay gay canada gay

my cousin kept beating up my minecraft bee with a hammer last night >:( also yeah there’s a whole ass blanket nest on my floor we were silly last night

speaking of last night, my friends threw my rubber banana behind my bed!!! what the fuck!!! i can’t get it out cuz there’s a shit ton of spiders under there!!! fuck!!!

gay 🌈

spot sitting on my shelf :) very cool

we can’t forget about my spamton carcass jar. spamton fucking DIED. there’s are his ashes. pay respect and donate all of your kromer or else

star box i made in ceramics kinda inspired by tawog end credits

ALPHYS!!!

i made william tawog last year but the rubber band broke and his wings fell off that’s so fuckign sad im sorry william

this realistic snake i use to scare people sometimes 🐍🐍🐍

what the fuck is this i don’t know what the fuck this is my sister gave it to me i’m scared

this is my stick wizard staff

MY JEVIL!!!! last year i made a jevil bobble head in ceramics and i never posted it anywhere so here’s my silly jevil!!!! and wiggly i got from etsy

erm. what the scallop (creepy spongebob creepy eyes they stare into your soul)

monkey i got in spain!!! i forgot what that place was called but it was a huge mountain with lots of monkeys and it was very cool!! :DDD i wanna go back it was so fun

my friends call this the autism shelf

MR SMALL!!!! I SPENT OVER 100 DOLLARS FOR THIS ON ETSY BUT IT WAS WORTH IT!!! MY FAVORITE THING EVER FR!! :D

ZEPHYR!!!

last but not least, here’s me with snakes 🐍🐍 i love snakes 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍 so silly

[guttedz0mbie]

WELCOME TO THE GLASSES-USER-SWAG-SUBMIT 2023!

I'm your host Leo/Cryptix.

In this poll tournament characters will battle for the crown of being the the ultimate glasses user.

Please submit your character you would like to invite to the tournament! The goal is to get at least 30 contestants to participate. Reposts for this battle would be appreciated! See you when the Battle begins!

Our Contestents so far!

1.)Jade Harley(Homestuck)

2.)Walter White(Breaking Bad)

3.)Invisable man(hotel transolvania)

4.)Ralsei(Deltunare)

5.)Tenya IIda(My Hero Acedemia)

6.)Alphys(Undertale)

7.)Connie Maheswaran(Steven Universe)

8.)Willow Park(The owl house)

9.)Miles Edgeworth(Ace Atterony)

10.)Velma Dinkley(Scooby-Doo!)

11.)Twilight Sparkle(My Little Pony Equestria Girls)

12)John egbert(Homestuck)

13.)Raine Whispers(The Owl House)

14.)Ghoulia Yelps(Monster High) 

15.)laki Olietta(Fairy Tail)

16.)Sylvester Ashling(Epithet Erased)

17.)Stanley Pines(Gravity Falls)

18.)Stanford Pines(Gravity falls)

19.)Michael Meil(Be More Chill)

20.)Constance Blackwood(Ride the cyclones)

21.)Simon petrikov(Adventure Time)

22.)Nobita Nobi(Doraemon anime)

23.)Milo James Thatch (Atlantis:The Lost Empire)

24.)Clyde McBride(The Loud House)

Sucrose(Genshin Impact)

Espresso Cookie(Cookie Run: Kingdom)

Alchemist Cookie(Cookie Run: Kingdom

Medic(Team Fortress 2)

Merlin Wizard(Bee and Puppycat)

Tang(Lego Monkie Kid)

Bobble(Tinker Bell)

Gordon Freeman(Half-Life)

Edna Mode(The Incredibles)

Simon(Alvin and the chipmunks)

Ryan Akagi(Infinity Train)

Suika(Dr. Stone)

Snork(The Moomins)

Tulip Olsen(Infinity Train)

Berdly(deltarune)

Harry Potter(Harry Potter)

April O'Neil [Rise of the TMNT)

Mr X(Amphibia)

Dendy(O.K K.O Lets Be Heroes) 

Richard(Spooky Month)

Lilith Clawthorne(The Owl House)

Toby Mccalister (Word Girl)