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foone · 1 year

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why are printers so hated? it's simple:

computers are good at computering. they are not good at the real world.

the biggest problems in computers, the ones that have had to change the most over the time they've existed, are the parts that deal with the real world. The keyboard, the mouse, the screen. every computer needs these, but they involve interacting with the real world. that's a problem. that's why they get replaced so much.

now, printers: printers have some of the most complex real-world interaction. they need to deposit ink on paper in 2 dimensions, and that results in at least three ways it can go on right from the start. (this is why 3D printers are just 2D printers that can go wrong in another whole dimension)

scanners fall into many of the same problems printers have, but fewer people have scanners, and they're not as cost-optimized. But they are nearly as annoying.

This is also why you can make a printer better by cutting down on the number of moving elements: laser printers are better than inkjets, because they only need to move in one dimension, and their ink is a powder, not a liquid. and the best-behaved printers of all are thermal printers: no ink and the head doesn't move. That's why every receipt printer is a thermal printer, because they need that shit to work all the time so they can sell shit. And thermal is the most reliable way to do that.

But yeah, cost-optimization is also a big part of why printers are such finicky unreliable bastards: you don't want to pay much for them. Who is excited for all the printing they're gonna be doing? basically nobody. But people get forced to have a printer because they gotta print something, for school or work or the government or whatever. So they want the cheapest thing that'll work. They're not shopping on features and functionality and design, they want something that costs barely anything, and can fucking PRINT. anything else is an optional bonus.

And here's the thing: there's a fundamental limit of how much you can optimize an inkjet printer, and we got near to it in like the late 90s. Every printer since then has just been a tad smaller, a tad faster, and added some gimmicks like printing from WIFI or bluetooth instead of needing to plug in a cable.

And that's the worst place to be in, for a computer component. The "I don't care how fancy it is, just give me one that works" zone. This is why you can buy a keyboard for 20$ and a mouse for 10$ and they both work plenty fine for 90% of users. They're objectively shit compared to the ones in the 60-150$ range, but do they work? yep. So that's what people get.

Printers fell into that zone long, long ago, when people stopped getting excited about "desktop publishing". So with printers shoved into the "make them as cheap as possible" zone, they have gotten exponentially shittier. Can you cut costs by 5$ a printer by making them jam more often? good. make them only last a couple years to save a buck or two per unit? absolutely. Can you make the printer cost 10$ less and make that back on the proprietary ink cartridges? oh, they've been doing that since Billy Clinton was in office.

It's the same place floppy disks were in in about 2000. CD-burners were not yet cheap enough, USB flash drives didn't exist yet (but were coming), modems weren't fast enough yet to copy stuff over the internet, superfloppies hadn't taken over like some hoped, and memory cards were too expensive and not everyone had a drive for them. So we still needed floppy disks, but at the same time this was a technology that hadn't changed in nearly 20 years. So people were tired of paying out the nose for them... the only solution? cut corners. I have floppy disks from 1984 that read perfectly, but a shrinkwrapped box of disks from 1999 will have over half the disks failed. They cut corners on the material quality, the QA process, the cleaning cloth inside the disk, everything they could. And the disks were shit as a result.

So, printers are in that particular note of the death-spiral where they've reached the point of "no one likes or cares about this technology, but it's still required so it's gone to shit". That's why they are so annoying, so unreliable, so fucking crap.

So, here's the good news:

You can still buy a better printer, and it will work far better. Laser printers still exist, and LED printers work the same way but even cheaper. They're still more expensive than inkjets (especially if you need color), but if you have to print stuff, they're a godsend. Way more reliable.

This is not a stable equilibrium. Printers cannot limp along in this terrible state forever. You know why I brought up floppy disk there? (besides the fact I'm a giant floppy disk nerd) because floppy disks GOT REPLACED. Have you used one this decade? CD-Rs and USB drives and internet sharing came along and ate the lunch of floppy disks, so much so that it's been over a decade since any more have been made. The same will happen to (inkjet) printers, eventually. This kind of clearly-broken situation cannot hold. It'll push people to go paperless, for companies to build cheaper alternatives to take over from the inkjets, or someone will come up with a new, more reliable printer based on some new technology that's now cheap enough to use in printers. Yeah, it sucks right now, but it can't last.

So, in conclusion: Printers suck, but this is both an innate problem caused by them having to deal with so much fucking Real World, and a local minimum of reliability that we're currently stuck in. Eventually we'll get out of this valley on the graph and printers will bother people a lot less.

Random fun facts about printing of the past and their local minimums:

in the hot metal type era, not only would the whole printing process expose you to lead, the most common method of printing text was the linotype, which could go wrong in a very fun way: if the next for a line wasn't properly justified (filling out the whole row), it could "squirt", and lead would escape through gaps in the type matrix. This would result in molten lead squirting out of the machine, possibly onto the operator. Anecdotally, linotype operators would sometimes recognize each other on the street because of the telltale spots on their forearms where they had white splotches where no hair grew, because they got bad lead burns. This type of printing remained in use until the 80s.

Another fun type of now-retired printers are drum printers, a type of line printer. These work something like a typewriter or dot-matrix printer, except the elements extend across the entire width of the paper. So instead of printing a character at time by smacking it into the paper, the whole line got smacked nearly at once. The problem is that if the paper jammed and the printer continued to try to print, that line of the paper would be repeatedly struck at high speed, creating a lot of heat. This worry created the now-infamous Linux error: "lp0 on fire". This was displayed when the error signals from a parallel printer didn't make sense... and it was a real worry. A high speed printer could definitely set the paper on fire, though this was rare.

So... one thing to be grateful about current shitty inkjet printers: they are very unlikely to burn anything, especially you.

(because before they could do that they'd have to work, at least a little, first, and that's very unlikely)

#printers #my writing

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crazydiscostu · 10 months

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yujikuna · 2 years

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#the comedic timing of my ex and i discussing him moving out while we're in the car and one of the girls he's talking to calling him #and it popping up on the screen bc his bluetooth was connected #pls the way that it just awkwardly rang bc he didn't want to get his phone out #we didn't talk for the rest of the car ride or the car ride home khfjgkjdhfgkjhdfg

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sluts4matt · 6 months

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FIRST HIT

pairing: soft!chris x reader

summary: chris comes over to smoke, deciding he wanted his first time to be with you. although things take a slight turn.

warnings: SMUT, suggestive comments, use of weed, fingering, pet names, dirty talk, breeding kink (if you squint), praising

word count: 2440

author's note: i thought about this when i was getting ready to go to sleep ngl

you smiled down at your phone, excited and filled with joy that chris wanted you to be the person he smoked with for the first time.

him and his brothers were completely sober, had been since you met them basically when they first moved to LA. they didn't drink, didn't smoke, and didn't do drugs, so this was a huge step for him.

you slipped on your slides, pulling a 'fresh love' hoodie over your head and down your torso. you grabbed your car keys from the top of your vanity, leaving your bedroom and going out your front door.

you got in the car, setting your bluetooth up to play music. the beat of paris by $suicideboy$ rang through your car speakers.

you turned your head, looking out your back mirror before backing out of your spot.

you turned the wheel, beginning the drive to your destination.

it was a quick one, luckily, so you didn't have to deal with the traffic that the city was always experiencing.

you pulled up in the driveway of the house, putting your car in park and looking at your phone sending chris a 'here' message.

thirty seconds go by before he's coming out of the house, his hair falling in front of his eyes. he looked hot, you'd never deny it, but he was your best friend and you had to control yourself.

he walked up to the passenger side opening the door and sliding in, "always the passenger princess aren't you," you chirped mockingly, starting your car.

"suck my dick," chris mumbled playfully rolling his eyes. "mhm," you hummed, "what's this about you wanting to smoke?" you ask, glancing at him before your eyes go back to the road.

"oh uh," he says, rubbing his thumb and index finger together. "i don't know, just felt like it," he says. "so," he continues, "i was hoping you'd be the person who showed me."

you nodded, "i'd be honored christopher," you beam. chris adjusts himself in the seat as you drive, the faint sound of music playing in the background.

"what strain is it?" you ask, "something called peanut butter crunch," he stated, grabbing his bag. he started digging around, "homie said it was a hybrid," he added.

"ooh," you purred, "i've been dying to try that," you smiled. he chuckled, "yeah, well, looks like i'm gonna pop your cherry," he joked. you let out a fake laugh, shaking your head.

"tha- okay chris," you said, rolling your eyes. he snickered, pulling a few buds out of his bag. he looked down at them, turning his head and looking out the window.

he had a look of regret on his face, like he was questioning himself if he was making the right decision. "don't force yourself," you mumble, glancing at him.

"what?" he asks, looking back at you. "to smoke, you don't have to if you really don't want to," you say. he lets out a sigh, "no i wanna do this," he said, "just a little nervous," he continued.

"understandable i suppose," you shrug, pulling into your driveway. you park the car, taking the keys out of the ignition and getting out.

chris follows behind, following you inside and up to your room.

you shut the door, going to your desk and pulling out your grinder, as well as a few papers. you sat them down on your desk, then turning to the drawers.

you open one, looking for the lighter that you knew was in there. you found it, picking it up and turning around.

"give," you say, holding your hand out. chris' eyes looked at your hands, more specifically the fresh manicure that sat neatly on your fingernails.

he had always liked your hands, the way you painted your nails and the way the rings you'd wear would sit perfectly.

chris' lips parted slightly, his tongue running across the bottom one. his eyes fluttered back up to yours, giving you the bud.

you looked down, placing the paper down. you started grinding the weed up, watching the way it would fall out of the grinder and onto the paper.

you set the grinder down, looking up and noticing chris' eyes were trained on your hands, watching every movement carefully.

you decided to test something, though you had to do it anyway. you brought the joint up to your lips, your tongue darting out to lick at the paper.

you watched as chris' eyes fell to your tongue, watching it glide across the paper and wetting it. his tongue poked out slightly, mimicking your own actions.

you rolled it back up, placing it down. "all done," you chirped, turning around to grab the lighter.

you went over to your bed, sitting down and crossing your legs. chris followed, sitting down across from you.

you lit the joint, inhaling and feeling the smoke fill your lungs. you looked at him as you blew it out, a cloud forming around you.

"try," you say, holding the joint out to him. he took it hesitantly, bringing it up to his mouth and sucking in. his body shook a bit as he began coughing.

"woah," he choked out, handing the joint back. you laughed, bringing the joint back to your mouth and taking another hit.

he stopped coughing, his eyes meeting yours.

you blew the smoke out, your eyes not moving from his. the air felt thick, like it was filled with something.

he was staring, the only sound in the room was his breathing. "can we try something?" he mumbled, "i saw cj and his girl do it at his party the other night," he continued.

"uh," you started, unsure of what to say. "sure," you replied, taking the joint back from his hands.

"what is it?" you ask. he scooted closer to you, his thighs brushing against yours. his hands wrapped around your thighs, pulling you to his lap. you hovered over his clothed crotch area as he held onto your hips.

"said it was called shot gunning or somethin'" he said. you nodded, bringing the joint up to your lips and inhaling. you lowered your lips down to his, opening them and blowing the smoke into his mouth.

his lips latched onto yours, a hand going up to your face and the other resting on your hip. his fingers brushed the skin on your stomach, sending goosebumps up your back.

he kissed you softly, his tongue poking out and sliding along your bottom lip. you parted them, giving him access to explore your mouth.

his tongue darted inside, his fingers pushing the hem of your shirt up slightly, guiding your hips down. you ground your hips down on his clothed bulge, his lips parting and letting a small moan leave his throat.

his lips parted from yours, a string of saliva connecting your lips. he licked his lips, looking at you with big eyes.

"you okay?" you ask, running your hand through his hair. he nodded, leaning his head down and resting it on your chest.

you rubbed his back, his fingers tracing shapes into the skin of your stomach. "i-i wanna try something else," he mumbled, his voice muffled from the fact that his head was still pressed into your chest.

"alright," you say, a soft smile on your lips. he pulled away, his cheeks red and his pupils blown. he leaned forward, his lips latching onto yours again.

you kissed him back, your eyes fluttering closed. you could feel his hand tanging in your hair, a gasp leaving your lips when he tugged your head back to expose your neck.

he started kissing along the sensitive skin, his tongue darting out and running across the warm flesh. you grinded down on him again, his hand still on your hips.

you could feel his erection, a smirk pulling on your lips. he pulled away from your neck, his hands going to the hem of your sweater and tugging it over your head.

you threw it somewhere in the room, not bothering to pay attention. his hands went to your waist, his fingers trailing up and down the soft flesh.

"c-can i?" he mumbled, his voice a whisper. "of course," you breathed out, watching as his hands trailed up your back and reached to undo the clasp of your bra.

he unclipped it, sliding the straps down your shoulders and pulling the garment off. you tossed it, his eyes trailing down to your breasts.

you were average, not too big or small, but enough to fill his hands. his lips attached to your collarbone, leaving dark marks.

"chris," you whined, his mouth moving down and attaching itself to your nipple. his tongue swirled around the bud, his hand coming up and pinching the other one.

his free hand trailed down, his fingers hooking under the waistband of your sweats.

"can i?" he asked again, looking up at you with puppy eyes. "please," you whined, feeling his fingers slip under the waistband and into your underwear.

"fuck," he whispered, his fingers touching your soaked pussy. "all this for me?" he asked, looking at you with lustful eyes.

you nodded, bucking your hips into his touch. he took that as a signal, his fingers sliding along your wetness.

you whimpered, feeling his middle finger dip into your hole. his palm was rubbing against your clit, the sensation causing you to shake.

"god you're so tight," he moaned, his finger curling up and brushing against the spongy spot inside you. his lips latched onto your nipple again, his fingers working on getting you off.

"chris, oh my god," you whined, a knot starting to form in your stomach. he inserted another finger, the digits pumping in and out of your tight hole.

"please, please, please," you whimpered, rocking your hips and fucking yourself on his fingers. "that's it," he encouraged, his lips kissing along your neck.

"wanna see you come, wanna see you squirt all over my fingers," he cooed, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit.

"yes, yes, yes," you chanted, throwing your head back as his fingers picked up the pace. the knot in your stomach tightened, a loud moan leaving your mouth as his fingers curled up.

your orgasm hit you hard, a rush of liquid spurting out of your hole and drenching his fingers.

"good girl," he cooed, pulling his fingers out and sucking them into his mouth.

"fuck," you whispered, watching as he cleaned his fingers. he leaned forward, capturing your lips and letting you taste yourself.

"do you want me to-"

"no," chris interrupted, "just let me take care of you," he said, sliding your sweats and underwear down to the bend of your knees, his fingers reaching down and undoing the tie on his sweats.

you helped him, his hand slipping down into his underwear and pulling his dick out.

you licked your lips, staring down at the member in front of you. it was thick, not as long as you expected, but it was perfect.

a bead of precum dripped down the tip, chris' hand wrapping around it and jerking it slowly.

"can i," he started, looking up at you. you nodded, letting him guide you down so his cock was lined up with your pussy.

"tell me if i hurt you," he says, pressing the tip up against your entrance. you nodded, watching him slowly lower you down.

you winced at the slight sting, his hands rubbing the skin of your thighs. he pushed you down, sheathing his entire length inside you.

"fuck, fuck," you gasped, the pain subsiding and pleasure taking over. chris' lips were parted, a moan falling from his lips.

"so tight," he moaned, "fuck, gonna break my dick off," he joked, a giggle leaving his lips.

you let out a small laugh, the noise turning into a moan when he thrust up into you.

"shit, chris," you whimpered, his dick brushing up against that sweet spot almost immediately.

his hands slid down to your ass gripping the flesh, his nails digging into the skin as he lifted you up and pulled you back down.

you let out a string of moans, your hips bucking up into him as he bounced you up and down on his cock.

"god you look so pretty," he groaned, his thumb reaching up and brushing the bundle of nerves above where you were connected.

your head fell back, your eyes shutting and your mouth open in a silent moan.

chris was groaning, his hips meeting yours as you slammed down onto him.

"gonna cum," you moaned, "inside, please, cum inside," you pleaded. "fuck, you want me to breed you? you want me to make a mess inside you?" he grunted, his nails digging further into the flesh of your ass.

"yeah, yeah, want it, want it so bad," you cried, the knot in your stomach tightening.

"c'mon baby, cum for me," chris encouraged, his fingers rubbing circles on your clit.

your orgasm washed over you, a rush of warmth flooding the lower part of your stomach.

chris moaned, his grip on your hips getting tighter as he pounded up into you.

"yes, yes, fuck," you whimpered, your body going limp. chris flipped you over, pounding his hips into yours.

your head fell back onto the mattress, a series of gasps and whines leaving your mouth.

"so fucking tight," chris moaned, watching your eyes roll back. it gave him a complex knowing he was the one making you feel like this.

"c'mon chrissy, wanna feel you," you encouraged, your nails digging into his shoulder blades.

his eyes rolled back, a string of curse words falling from his lips. his hips stuttered, a groan leaving his mouth as he spilled his seed inside you.

he thrusted a few more times, making sure he was empty.

"shit," he whispered, his hand cupping your face.

"hey," he says, looking into your eyes. "hi," you giggle, reaching up and grabbing his face.

"can i kiss you?" he asks, his lips just barely ghosting yours. you nodded, letting him capture your lips in a soft, yet passionate, kiss.

"i like you," he mumbles, pulling away and looking at you. "well, no shit sherlock," you joked, laughing.

"no," chris sighed, his hand running through his hair. "i mean, like, i want you," he said, his words not making sense.

"like, i want to be your boyfriend," he clarified, "want you to be my girl," he continued.

you smiled, reaching up and running your thumb over his cheekbone. "christopher," you start, his eyes widening, "i want you to be my boyfriend," you finish.

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jasontoddslittletoe · 21 days

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OK HEAR ME OUT!!!!

either CamGirl!Reader and TopDonator/Fan!Jason, or vice versa, CamBoy!Jason and TDFan!Reader.

Just going from watching a stream to DMs. Maybe some crazy phone sex? Bluetooth toys?? Some personal videos js for their fan??? The streamer getting some pics back???? Who knowsss 👀

Oh baby. I’m listening. Loud and clear.

Jason Todd found himself watching different girls frequently. He’d send a few bucks, get himself off, move on, never go back. He thought with you he’d do the same. You were new, only in the industry for a few months now, but you had quickly gained a following.

They liked the innocent look you had to your face, but the way those dirty, disgusting men would degrade you and you’d get ten times wetter than you were originally said otherwise. However, no one payed you as well as Jason did. So when you started up your stream and noticed his name pop up first you didn’t think much.

The side of the screen showed the preferred amount to get you going, the pink device shoved into you set at a very low vibration. Barely enough to even get a whine out of you honestly. You welcomed in some of the older people with a sweet smile.

Then there goes 30. Before you could thank Jason for the donation the vibrator went off and you shivered. Rub yourself for me. That’s what it read. You let out a small giggle, “30 isn’t enough to get me to rub one out for you.” That sweet voice of yours rang out through the speaker of his phone and he groaned. Nearly creaming his pants at just that. No you were different. He liked you.

Jason kept coming back for you. He liked the stubbornness you put up when he sent you “small” amounts politely asking you to do more for him. But he didn’t like the idea of seeing those pretty fingers shoved into your weeping cunt while others watched as well. They could pay for that themselves.

After a few more streams he found himself in your DMs. Sending 2k for a private video of you doing whatever YOU want to make yourself cum. You were stunned to say the least. You make more than that per stream. But you’ve never had someone send that much at once!

The squelch of your pussy clamped down perfectly on that small glass dildo drove him mad as he watched you. His rough hands rubbing himself at the same pace. “Thank you Jay!” You squealed. He loved the way you gave him a perfect view of your cunt from the back, the arch of your back, just- everything you gave him!

Things got deeper between you and your new top donator and he offered to pay for a video call. You immediately accepted his request and made him aware of your “money per minute” policy which he brushed away. The call started off great, he was really cute, he was nice, funny, yadayadayada.

But now he had you under his control. Shaking his head whenever you stated you were so close to cumming- and yet another perfect orgasm RUINED! He kept up with you though, didn’t cum himself until he let you. But my golly your mouth watered everytime he stroked his fat cock on the screen.

“You close, mama? Wanna cum with me?” He huffed over the sounds of the lotion he applied to his cock as he stroked himself mercilessly. You responded to him needy.

“Please Jay- lemme cum with you, wanna cum with you!” You nodded vigorously, the fat tip of the silicone toy prodding at your cunt with every flick of your wrist, your fingers rubbing harsh circles onto that sensitive nub.

“Bet you’re wishin’ that was me, huh pretty.” He grinned, pretty white teeth on display. He made you feel seen, above sex. Above what you do. He even stayed long enough to make sure you were okay after your breathtaking orgasm.

He’s coming back. Because with you he’s never felt like some virgin schoolboy who hasn’t gotten the chance to hit puberty.

#jason todd x reader #batboys #dc comics #jason todd #dc #batfam #dcu #dc smut #cam grl #jason todd smut #dirty fics

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