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[finalfantasy-iv]

I usually keep an eye out for new posts in the FFIV tag to share here, but I'm thinking about doing some dives into various FFIV tags to dig out some older posts. One of my favorite things about Tumblr is that it has a great system for saving and finding posts that are years old, so it just makes sense to get back into that. I've been holding off on it so my own blog tags aren't filled with the same post a million times, but repeat content is better than no content! Plus it still makes *me* happy to see those old posts, so why not share them?

Anyway long story short maybe you'll see some repeat reblogs more often now because I'm going to try to build up a queue.

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[mineofilms]

Club Satan

This is a response about an article posted on my Facebook feed on an ‘after school Satan Club’ at a Memphis elementary school, and now at a local elementary school in my town for elementary school students. The article’s headline: “Satanic Temple plans ‘After School Satan Club’ at another elementary school…”

1st and foremost I do not support or favor any religion in general. If you ask me what I think happens when we die? That talk will be about 2.5 hours and using so many references, from science, to science fiction, fiction in general, philosophy, logic, critical thinking, sacred geometry, astrophysics, politics, numerology, etc. One or many wouldn’t even grasp most of these concepts at the beginner/novice level, let alone, understand the lack of general awareness that religion, in all its glory, is the number one killer of human beings in all the history of mankind. Not by predators, not by an asteroid strike in our distant past, not AIDS, not heart disease, drug addiction, cancer, the black plague, global wars or diabetes, hunger, lack of drinking water. Nope… Religion has killed more people than all these combined. So you will have to excuse my lack faith in religion as an ideology that benefits all of mankind. You will never see me say the opposite, ever…

It’s been suggested human beings have roughly been on Earth in our current form for around 300,000 years. While Christianity’s history is around 2,000 years old, give or take a few decades. That is a huge gap, over two orders of magnitude (2.18) older than the Christian faith. One can insert just about any history they would want with that gap of time. Plenty of time for interpretation, telling of stories that miss details or include details that never happened. The Bible very well could be the first science fiction novel ever written for all we know. Movies like; "Prince of Darkness," directed by John Carpenter in 1987, centers around a group of scientists investigating a mysterious cylinder filled with a pulsating green liquid discovered in an abandoned church. The film explores the notion that early humans misinterpreted profound forces as benevolent when, in reality, they embody darkness and destruction. As they study the liquid, they uncover disturbing revelations about its extraterrestrial origin and its connection to an ancient evil force that transcends time, space and reality as we know it. As the liquid is studied by the group, it is suggested that our ancestors, grappling with incomprehensible phenomena, crafted a narrative (Christianity) that skewed the reality of these entities. Portraying God as a symbol of life, love, and light rather than the “Anti-God,” a malevolent, primordial entity with the potential to bring about apocalyptic consequences. That we never know what this energy actually is, but it can only be described in Christian terms of “Satan’s Father” or the “Anti-God.” The “Anti-God” is not a being of life, light, and love but a force of death, darkness, and destruction, shedding light on the possibility that humanity's early interpretations were shaped by fear and misunderstanding rather than divine revelation. "Prince of Darkness" and other films that attempt to challenge viewers to reconsider established beliefs and contemplate the origins of religious narratives. That is just one example of how creativity and attempting to look at religion with an analytical mind over blindly accepting what is written as literal gospel/truth/facts.

In the article, the Satanic Temple clarifies its mission, “presenting itself as a non-theistic entity that interprets Satan as a metaphorical symbol, separate from the supernatural associations often assumed. The club's curriculum, contrary to misconceptions, focuses on science-based and inclusive activities, aiming to foster benevolence, empathy, critical thinking, problem-solving, creative expression, personal sovereignty, and compassion among participating children.” https://www.live5news.com/clubsatan

Just because the group says we do not teach about Satan in terms of religion doesn’t mean it isn’t about Satan. This one quote from the article destroys any credibility that the Temple may have had about what its mission and goals are with this club. I support the first amendment, but if we cannot have Jesus in public schools then there isn’t any room for Satan either. If a public school is gonna allow Christian-theme clubs in their school then based on the first amendment Satan should also have its say. The Jesus-Karens’ wanna cherry-pick when it is ok or not ok to break the law, as they always tend to look at the law as silly when compared to the laws in the Bible, which to me, is just as silly. These same people will openly break the law when it suits them and always point to the Bible as the one true law.

Now that is fine and dandy, but if we all have to follow the law, so do Jesus-Karens’.

The question of whether it is fundamentally wrong to teach religion of any kind, including topics like Jesus or Satan, in public schools:

• Separation of Church and State: Teaching religion in public schools “may be” seen as a violation of our 1st amendment rights as outlined in the constitution of the United States.

• Religious Diversity: Every individual in that school and every public school has their own personalized belief structure. It would be fundamentally wrong to choose one and make that the standard for everyone. Hence, why ALL separation of Church and State exists to begin with.

• Parental Rights: The responsibility for religious education lies with parents and religious institutions, not public schools. Public Schools across all of the United States has taken a bigger interest with our children the last decade or so. They have been fighting with lawmakers during this time attempting to gain rights’ to kids without their parents being notified. This subject can be a blog all by itself. Giving them free spaces to teach and practice “progressive” values, that are hardly progressive, in terms of progressing forward in a direction of enlightenment. However, what I see “progressives” doing isn’t going forward, which is what the word actually means. Instead, “progressivism” steers human thinking backward, under the pretense of moving forwards. Even if it is after school and 100% voluntary there is still pressure to promote these concepts and for kids to accept the invitation or be told “they are on the wrong side of history.” It is why Separation of Church and State and Religious Diversity above exist in the first place. This is the part I think the schools lack the most. There is pressure by people for them to help promote it and pressure for kids exposed to it to join. Where they are supposed to be spiritually safe…

• Focusing on Academics: Public schools are primarily institutions for academic education, and introducing religion diverts resources and time away from core subjects. How we can expect our kids to know Math, English, History if we have them confused about what comes after this life or not. Can kids be kids and worry about this garbage when they have real stress in their lives? My only real acceptation to the rule about religion in public schools is if religion is mention in Historical Context. I can give a pass on that, but that would be more for High School level kids learning about world history in a classroom for historical context. Not religion as the subject, but merely part of the story that is world history.

Parents shouldn’t have to be in this spot of being angry about this particular thing to begin with. When we send our kids to school. We trust they are safe: Mentally, Physically, Emotionally, Sexually and Spiritually. Let’s not forget the incident by the original Jesus-Karens in the 1980s when Al Gore and his wife tried to cancel Heavy Metal due to it promoting Satan and they lost, BIG, and were humiliated on live TV. When we buy a CD and it has the “Parental Advisory” sticker on it, that is their contribution to pop culture, gate keeping, and heavy metal.

If a school was a religious boarding school or something specific, a non-public school, then I’d get it why religion is in school, but public schools, na… I have no issue with some things about religion in schools like the pledge of allegiance and God being mentioned in it. I always interpreted the word “God” to mean “whatever creation myth one believes in,” and creation itself is a myth, not a fact but a myth. I believed this at 8-years-old.

I have three different categories for defining God and it is based on how we spell God. God (any and ALL Gods of religion) • GOD (The Universe itself is GOD, not a conscious being, just everything encompassed into one big thing called the Universe/GOD) • god (Sacred Geometry Spirit Energy, Nature, not necessarily a conscious entity).

The word “God” to me never meant solely the Christian God, just “god.” The pledge is fine how it is. As far as promoting Satan goes, I feel the same way. I joke about hailing Satan, but that is all it is, a joke. It is utterly ridiculous, just like thinking more than God just being an imaginary friend for grownups. I am actually making fun of Satan here not hating on Christian faith, specifically. I am a metalhead. Always have been. I never associated Satan worship with metal music, but there are subgenres of metal music that focuses on the worship of Satan and the destruction of all Catholicism. I think all faiths are part of the clown show. It doesn’t have a place in public schools, whatsoever, for just the few reasons I specified here. However, they probably are different for you and absolutely different for most other people.

I am an agnostic, which is just a fancy term for saying; "I do not possess the information to make an informed decision on whether or not the One-God-Creation-Myth is more than just a myth and if any of this is actually tangibly real in our reality." Agnostic is just saying we do not know enough to say God does or doesn’t exist so we just do not have a stance on it in the terms that believers and non-believers have their stance. By default both sides tends to label us as either believer or non-believer, which is why we are agnostic to begin with. Agnostics tend to not believe in binary information systems about reality.

That not everything is as simple as positive and negative…

“In the status quo of trial by social media; the facts have nothing to do with anything. No matter what you do, no matter what you prove, no matter what you dismiss, logical approach or common sense thought or thoughts about a topic, there is always going to be people on a keyboard that will project the reality that they would like, that most fits with what they want to believe and have that all based on hurt feelings and sentimental opinion on every issue. Every issue is split in half or binary nowadays. There are no winners in this and the lives that are directly affected by it will never be the same.” ~me, September. 2023.

Every topic is so polarizingly binary: yes/no, us/them, good/evil, right/wrong, left/right, zero/one, gay/straight, black/white, man/woman, Jew/Muslim, Life/Death. You get the idea. Sources are biased, especially ones from the great religions of the world, the legacy news media from both left/right sides. Both spin their takes as pandering of right/wrong vs what right/wrong actually are. Both sides always paint the other side as: wrong, bad, evil, while always labeling themselves as correct, good and just. In binary information systems both sides cannot be these things. They must be one or the latter, ALWAYS…

The great flaw I see here with Jesus/Satan in public schools is we cannot have one without the other. If you have pro-Jesus after school programs in public schools then one or many must allow the latter that same respect. I have written at length this year about binary information systems and how they formulate, shape, our opinions and positions in reality. They are not what they are supposed to be, but the point I am making here is in public schools both should not be allowed. I agree with most that Satanism is just as much a religious faction as Christianity is even though they are saying in the argument that they are “presenting itself as a non-theistic entity that interprets Satan as a metaphorical symbol, separate from the supernatural associations often assumed. The club's curriculum, contrary to misconceptions, focuses on science-based and inclusive activities, aiming to foster benevolence, empathy, critical thinking, problem-solving, creative expression, personal sovereignty, and compassion among participating children.”

If you are a Christian parent and you want to protect your children from teachings that go against your faith, the public school system would probably not be trustworthy places to safeguard those concepts for your children. The public school systems are working to strip rights from parents so they can teach your kids what “they” value, not what “you” value…

Should be noted that just because I personally loathe religion of any kind, I do not hate people for choosing a religion/faith. It is your entitled right to choose what you want to believe. My only, real, issue with any of it is the forcing the beliefs on everyone and shunning those that choose not to listen.

Religion, to me, are the original Karen's of civilization, but I am not going to trash my brothers/sisters, family and friends for believing. I encourage freedom of choice, freedom thinking and being free to believe in what you want to believe. That is the beauty of this country and the beauty of the greatest document ever created, the constitution of the United States of America. It is the projecting of religious concepts over the Bill of Rights onto other people that tends to rile me up on the subject.

I have said this before about religion and religious folks:

"If one or many make religion/faith about them, internally, and not about empathy, love and support for others then the message they believe in and support is the wrong one. You have missed the point if you ever think this is all about you… The second you do that, the battles and wars you wage in the name of that faith are perverted, fundamentally and logically wrong. If you believe in hell, you are more than likely already on that ‘one-way ticket to midnight, call it, Heavy Metal…’”

Club Satan by David-Angelo Mineo 12/15/2023 2,417 Words

[awesomesunnysworld-blog]

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[mineofilms]

Reflection on Idocracy

Going through my writings for the past year when I kept coming across instances where things just do not make sense. Not the words I write or topics I talk about, but rather ‘some’ of the takes’ of these topics by the minorities of INTERNET TROLLS, Internet Subcultures, and others. The problem in general with Internet Subcultures are Internet Subcultures. The media and a significant portion of the general public, are not familiar with or understand Internet Subcultures. To them it’s a word that has no contextual meaning. The divide in perception between those who are immersed in Internet Subcultures and those who are not are treated as social pariahs by the lot. The lot is mostly passive users, which tend to outnumber those immersed. The memes, the butt of the jokes, the sarcasm, and being closely associated to the WOKE subculture.

Being Labeled Liked This Infuriates These People.

WOKE, Progressivism, Influencers are Internet Subcultures and are also one massive subculture encompassing all three. It is really “(Whoa)ke Cult-Lure.” I can also do a play on words. It is WHOA man, whoa… It is also cult-like and a culture of lure… So I feel this spelling categorizes it very well. Everyone wants to be important. Everyone wants to belong to some group, any group, as long as they accept them. It’s golden... It really isn’t that hard when we shove devices in our kid’s faces for nearly three decades now and only a very small percentage of people properly shielded those same kids from the nonsense insanities of reality displayed through the INTERNET.

Is It Really A Surprise We Are Here?

(Whoa)ke Cult-Lure Activists go to extreme lengths to try to challenge what is actually being said. I tend to call this “tunnel vision,” but in reality is it known as "hasty generalization" or "jumping to conclusions." When an opinion is formed, based on a very limited or small sample of data and makes assumptions to generalize their viewpoint. A lot of the time these assumptions are based on subjective feelings. They are simply pissed off and making all their assumptions on those “hurt feelings,” and them “wanting to be right for the sake of being correct, without engaging in logical argumentation.” There is a tendency to attack the character of individuals who challenge their semantics, which isn’t semantics, but rather rhetoric disguised as semantics, than addressing the substance of their arguments. They just want to be right all the time, to make you look bad for challenging their pseudo-logic, and now they are pissed off on top of the needy desire to be correct about their assumption. You must comply or be the target of their anger. Sounds like a child doesn’t it? In most cases it is a child. Granted I feel adulating has now regressed to a point I consider under 25 child-like…

I have recently attempted to redefine (Whoa)ke Cult-Lure into a smaller phrase that, could say, fit on X (formally known as Twitter), which is as follows... “WOKE is both a Subculture and Internet Subculture that attempts to make minority issues displayed as majority issues and those issues be labeled as normal and/or everyday ‘FACTS...’”

Internet Subcultures are just that; minorities of the Internet. There are just a bunch of them out there, but at the end of the day. They are small, micro, mini when compared to all the people that use social media, that use the Internet, in general. Most people do not know what some of them even are, let alone most of them. Each group acts entitled as if their group warrants equality and respect by default without the majority of us even knowing what they stand for and are about. Their expectations from the rest of the lot, "us," do not even make logical sense in most cases. When you have some of the smartest people in the world going from respected scientist to all of a sudden saying one day; “I can wake up feeling like a female, one day I can wake up feeling like a male, and why do you care?” How does that actually work in the 0’s and 1’s, X’s and O’s, exactly?

What has been getting under my skin lately is the CLICHÉ of the (Whoa)ke Cult-Lure.

Of course these people are now calling themselves “content creators” or “influencers” on YouTube. Of course they say triggering shit. Of course they stand on one side of the fence while trashing the other side. Of course they are experts on making money and picking up sexual partners, bling blang this/that. If they were so successful at these things why are they spending hours of their days on YouTube and TikTok talking about it? If I went from broke to bling one or many probably would never see me on the social media, ever lol... How much more cliché can these self-proclaimed professionals get these days? As someone who follows the arts, (film, music and multimedia), studied the arts, contributed to the arts, worked my ass off to be part of the arts. Why exactly am I supposed to care about non-trained, nonprofessional "creators," losing their meal ticket so they do not have to go into the world, deal with real people and get a real job? Let us not forget the word 'creator' was made up to give NON-Professionals a title. It was ok in the early days but now this has become the (Whoa)ke Cult-Lure’s meal ticket. I want to ad, I say Non-Professional because do these channels have legal representation, a manager, an agent, are they in a Union for what they do, do they possess any educational degrees in psychology, fitness, finance, film, photography or any other subject where they are acting like a real counselor? Again, why would I want to get help on life's challenges from people that literally decided one day they were an ‘influencer’ or a ‘life-coach.’ If they are consoling people talking about the real world. In the real world... You have to go to school, get degrees, get certifications, pass board exams to be a life coach, which is just a fancy word for a personalized psychiatrist that takes even more time on you than the one to two hours a week you go to your everyday psychiatrist for.

Come on mannnnnnn... Who the FK you BS'n' here? I know people fall for this shit. I have a group of friends that also do this and they are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo FAKE. Everything they do is another sale's pitch. Is it a life-scam, well, not really, but it also sort of is. Crazy That The FK'n Internet Melts for These People...

Of course, it's a pronoun thing over a biology thing. Of course, they put down anything that discredits their logic of non-facts displayed as FACTS. Of course, they use phrases like "fact of the matter,” or “matter of fact." Of course, they say air quotes FACTS a lot, but when you look at their facts and what they are built upon one or many cannot find anything fact-building but belief and opinion solely...

If I am Anti-Anything it is Anti-Cliché...

Even this Pop-Metal artist. Kim Dracula, who I like. The music is good, its heavy and catchy. Hell of a voice and can scream with the best of metal vocalists, is a walking, talking, FK'n cliché of what he represents. It is now cool to be a 40-year-old scene kid, with a (whoa)ke personality acting Goth? If anything, I just want people to stop being a walking, talking FK'n cliché of what they represent and be original with their own original thoughts on a subject, any subject, other than regurgitating someone else’s opinion as their own (Two-Step Flow Theory)... They talk and talk……and talk. Monologues/Reaction videos from other two-step flow-theory practitioners.

The More We ALL Are Supposed To Know...

My thoughts and feelings have not changed on the concepts on the subject of binary information systems. I have also written quite a bit on the issue of minorities in 2023, specifically the LGBTQIAA+/- or whatever they are calling themselves now, I really do not know anymore. The simple response is I support real people that are LGBT but do not support the QIAA+/-. It isn’t the topic of sexuality that bugs me here, I could care less about gay people, what they represent and all that. Great for them. If they want to be gay or trans. It doesn’t bug me like it bugs others, but it is the same thing I always argue about: rhetoric being labeled as semantics. Where rhetoric, by definition, does not require facts to be in the argument, only that it merely sounds like they are. Semantics deals with the actual meanings of words, phrases, sentences, and larger units of language. The meanings in the words would require logical, real, facts and not pseudo-facts where ‘pseudo’ literally means ‘made-up.’ The one part of this that I have always challenged is this all comes down to what a real, true, fact is and what isn't. Facts are obtained by the scientific method, not faith or a/the belief of it. Belief is just that, a belief, a thought that something is real/true. One believes this, whatever this is, to be true. A fact is taking that belief and proving it is actually real and/or true in the real world.

Belief Cannot Do That...

We as a species do not share a collective agreement that these two very separate things, beliefs and facts, are not one in the same. They are not. They do work together, but they are also very independent of one another. Facts cannot be solely based on belief and opinion alone. Fact requires real proof the concept is real. When the two-sided coin is broken down; both sides spew facts that are really based on opinion and belief solely and have no real tangible factual data to support it. Hence you see both sides melting the FK down, constantly.

I truly believe peoples of ALL walks of life should be able to exist, be free and live how they want to live. Most people stand for this. However, simply disagreeing with LGBTQIAA+/-‘s comments where I support normal LGBT peoples’ and tend to not agree/support the QIAA+/-‘ers doesn't make a person a LGBT-phobe. That is a big part of the problem. Most really do not care about LGBT people, in general. Hell, even the abbreviation LGBT is sadly misleading. They are such a small minority that they are lumped into one massive subculture group called LGBTQIAA+/- where most people that are "real" LGBT do not care about all this stuff. It is the QIAA+/- that gives the LGBT a bad rap just like BLM give Black Americans a bad rap. I say it all the time:

“Don't be a walking, talking, acting cliché of the very things one will stand for, believe in, support and claim to be.” That right there will gain people nothing but hate and contempt. One or many cannot argue pseudo-facts with logic and real FACTS obtained by the scientific method.

They Will Lose Every Time. Not Some of the Time or Once in a While, but ALL-OF-THE-TIME...

Just because a person or group want something to be real and true actually doesn't make it real and/or true. Its ok to be Gay, both sexes, silly there is a word for each gender to describe what gay is. That just adds to the logical fallacy of it all. It’s ok to be trans. It’s not ok to flip flop logic, science, common sense and critical thinking because one day a person and/or a minority of people choose to be this/that. Using children to gain support for behavior that is clearly not acceptable by the masses, aka the majority, is not ok. It is NOT NORMAL… Reality doesn't work that way, but a lot of mental illnesses do. To me, this is more of that attention seeking stuff that other people need to acknowledge their struggle. They are wrong. They’re ALL wrong. You know why? EVERYONE STRUGGLES, Including LGBT, blacks, whites, me. Everyone does. No group or single person is a special unique little snowflake that requires special treatment because they are gay/trans, whatever. Most people do not care. However, we all care when they force it on everyone as normal behavior and it isn't normal. Normal by definition is what the majority is and what the minority is not, but wants the label of normal to be associated to them. That is the big main difference between the word normal and how it is associated to a majority group and to a minority group. It literally means different things to each group. The definition has not changed, but how minorities look at all definitions has. The only way they can justify changing the definition of normal is to change every definition of every word that shatters their very small logic-bubble of; ‘this is only real because they believe it is real. No other tangible information exists on the subject.’

The main reason why is one word... Minority... In the United States, that isn’t so united anymore, it is widely accepted that only 5% of all people are LGBT. For trans only, it is 0.6%. These numbers are not exact but they are accepted by most statisticians. Not only is LGBT a minority but they are so small they have to be lumped into one acronym. “(Whoa)ke Cult-Lure is both a Subculture and Internet Subculture that attempts to make minority issues displayed as majority issues and those issues be labeled as normal and/or everyday ‘FACTS…’” If we disagree, or combat this with logic, real facts, common sense we are called “phobes” of some sort or called a bigot or racist. During all this the logic is never challenged by these people. They spend all their time trying to defame you; while never even bothering to tackle the subject matter at hand. Never, do (Whoa)ke Cult-Lure practitioners ever attempt to combat this with real logic, common sense or FACTS, other than the ones they believe to be true, but cannot actually prove to be true, or just made up, which is why the word ‘pseudo’ keeps popping up.

‘Pseudo’ Literally Means “Made Up…”

This victim mentality we deal with over here in the United States about race and gender is a big problem. We have to use some common sense, some logic here. One or many cannot assume because they were treated badly in one place for a thing like skin color, would be the same in other places. One cannot logically say Norway is the same as the USA in that respect. Like you couldn’t say the same thing about China and Norway. That really would be a stupid assumption. However, people do not get a pass because they look at their skin color and feel they are entitled to something more than everyone else and/or the flipside of that where they are being punished more than anyone else.

That is what Racism is.

Treating someone different in either direction of positive or negative based on the color of their skin.

If it is a miscommunication then, yeah, they should just say something about it and be like "our bad." I get it… It is super cringe and embarrassing to make a generalized assumption about someone or a situation and then be corrected and have to deal with that, on the spot, in front of the very people you just hastily judged and insulted. However, this situation was of your creation. Be humble. Admit you are wrong and apologize and just move on with your life. However, what tends to happen is they will double down on that judgement and attempt to force their judgement to be right or correct anyways, even though they are clearly wrong. I will not support or stick up for people that tend to:

1) Play the victim card if a situation doesn't go their way. —AND — 2) Using race/gender/sexual orientation as the underlying issue where it clearly had nothing to do with the situation. Ego to self is just as damaging as fear is the mindkiller to Paul Atreides from DUNE...

If one or many make religion/faith about them, internally, and not about empathy, love and support for others then the message they believe in and support is the wrong one. You have missed the point if you ever think this is all about you… The second you do that, the battles and wars you wage in the name of that faith are perverted, fundamentally and logically wrong. If you believe in hell, you are more than likely already on that “one-way ticket to midnight, call it, Heavy Metal…”

When someone thinks their religious beliefs are all about them and that God is talking directly to them personally, it's like they're making it all about themselves. Sounds egotistical doesn’t it? Sounds like narcissistic-sociopathy doesn’t it? This self-centered view distorts the real message of religion, which is about being humble and caring for others. True inner peace comes from understanding and connecting with others, not from thinking you're special or the chosen one. If someone twists religion to boost their ego, they miss the point and lose the peace that comes from being part of a bigger, more caring community. It's like missing the forest for the trees in a spiritual sense.

And this is coming from an agnostic who isn’t right or left… Just something to think about. The more we ALL are supposed to know… Something to think on with how you defend your opinions on the social media from people who challenge them, but do not actually challenge them, it is you they challenge, passive-aggressively. I am not intimidating… Others are just the intimidated. There is a difference. I am not mean, hostile or aggressive. I am direct, honest, logical and assertive. That makes weaker minds uncomfortable. It is not ME that makes them uncomfortable, my LOGIC challenges their comfort.

“In the status quo of trial by social media; the facts have nothing to do with anything. No matter what you do, no matter what you prove, no matter what you dismiss, logical approach or common sense thought or thoughts about a topic, there is always going to be people on a keyboard that will project the reality that they would like, that most fits with what they want to believe and have that all based on hurt feelings and sentimental opinion on every issue. Every issue is split in half or binary nowadays. There are no winners in this and the lives that are directly affected by it will never be the same.” ~David-Angelo Mineo 9/21/2023

There is always going to be racist people out there. There are always going to be sexist people out there. There is always going to be gender-mad people out there. There is always going to be binary thinkers out there. The more we point to a person, any person, and either take away or give them a better quality of life, due to their skin color, sexual orientation, gender and even creed that in and of itself is what racism is. Granted there may be times when it rears itself, but not all of the time, and not even most of the time.

You Know Who Does That? You Know Who Are Like That?

People in large cities, people that play the victim card as their main argument and the national media. They are the only very large groups of people that show outright racist tendencies. You cannot blame the individual human or extremely small group, (minorities), that has the predisposition on skin color, gender and creed. They are gonna believe what they believe. It is all our jobs to show people this isn’t a thing over trying to find something, anything, anywhere, that one could say: “Oh, this is racist.” I don’t know. Is it racist if the assumption is correct and has factual data to back that assumption up? I myself am a minority… Minority means, minor, not many, not all, not most, but ��some.” Racists, Anti-Semitic groups and sentiment are the minority…

In the age of old wisdom, where our minds become fortresses, much like the Matrix itself. As we age, it's as if our beliefs are coded into the very fabric of the Matrix. Resistant to change is futile, just like the lines of code running through the digital world, all at once, everywhere. Trying to challenge those hardcoded mental algorithms is like attempting to cheat code their way through and outside the Matrix. Imagine This: You've spent your life devoted to a religion, any religion, it doesn’t matter, not unlike Neo discovering the truth about the Matrix. Now, envision reaching your twilight years and contemplating a religious about-face. It's not just a conversion; it's a full-on Matrix glitch that shakes the very foundation of your miniscule existence. You'd have to reassess your relationships, daily rituals, and maybe even your own identity – it's like waking up from a simulated reality designed to make you feel comfortable, but just enough to keep you believing this is all real. Let's not forget the thrill of political loyalty, something akin to being a red or blue pill devotee for three decades. Admitting you were wrong? That's not just a change of political allegiance; it's an existential revelation that shatters your entire worldview. Your entire belief structure crumbles. Your personalized system is shutting down. The thought of reconsidering your understanding of the world, faith, belief, reality, your moral compass, and your sense of community. It's like experiencing the black cat glitch, where you see the same black cat over and over, defying practical logic, leaving you questioning the very fabric of your reality.

Now, compare this with the malleable minds of the youth in the 2020s. They're like the newbies entering the Matrix, devoid of the baggage of decades worth of habits and relationships. Their beliefs are more open to new inputs and ready for programming. It's so much easier to sway them because, let's face it, they don't have the baggage of a lifetime supply of Matrix cheat codes shaping their worldview. It's like introducing a young person to sexual gratification for the first time and they never even knew what sex was, what sexual gratification was, let alone a phrase that describes it. To the wonders of the Matrix using a red pill - they're wide-eyed and open to the experience. The philosophical idea that adult humans already have their own firmly held ideals and beliefs. Plato's philosophy of the cave. The prisoners in the cave only knew their reality as shadows cast in front of them. Plato argued that if you freed one of those prisoners and forced them to look into the real world, they at first, refuse and resist this reality. They would have trouble accepting that what they always believed was real, was really just a very clever and intelligent illusion to manipulate them and their acceptance of the simulated reality. Good luck convincing someone who's been plugged into a Matrix-like reality for a lifetime. That there's a whole real world out there. They'll resist, deny, and probably start questioning your sanity for suggesting such a thing in the first place. Most delusional people will project their own truths onto other people. It is up to every individual to see this projection and not accept it till you yourself have been able to look into the validity of those projections. Changing core beliefs for them is like realizing they've been living in a Matrix simulation all along, and who wants to feel like their whole life has been a digital construct?

A dream? A false reality? Or NOTHING AT ALL? Completely Meaningless and Purposeless…

There is an idea of love and peace, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real love, no real peace, only a false sense of discourse, a construct of something illusionary, and though we can hide our cold hatred and we can shake our heads and feel love, hate, peace, life, death and maybe we can even sense our lives may actually be comparable in some small, but yet, insignificant way: we simply are not there. We are not listening. We are not paying attention. We ignore the fake cries, the real cries. We roll our eyes, jump on the social media to share our thoughts and feelings and be bullied because we will not concede that backward is now the new forwards under the ruse that is “progressivism.” We have all the characteristics of human beings—flesh, blood, skin, hair—but our tendencies to depersonalize is so intense, had gone so deep, that our normal ability to feel compassion and empathy had been eradicated, the victim of a slow, purposeful erasure of the human spirit, life, love and then death. We are simply imitating a reality, not creating one. There is a rough resemblance of human beings in us all, with only a dim corner of our minds, bodies and souls functioning at a high enough level to even notice where the on/off switch is. If time is the fire in which we burn then it must be our basic human ego that fuels ALL TIME...

"On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. It's only after we've lost EVERYTHING that we're FREE to do ANYTHING. You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." "The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide." "Self-improvement is masturbation. Maybe self-destruction is the answer." — Chuck Palahniuk, "FIGHT CLUB"

meditatio in idocratia Latin for (Reflection on Idocracy) by David-Angelo Mineo All Through 2023 4,312 Words

[mineofilms]

Choke (The Novel vs The Film)

So, after a few years of wondering, I finally listened to the audiobook of Chuck Palahniuk's "Choke," a literary mashup of a man’s torment by his dysfunctional relationship with his mother that transcended him to dysfunctional relationships with women in general.

—Mild Spoilers to Both the Novel and Film—

Meet Victor Mancini, the poster child for dysfunctional adulthood. He's a sex addict who works at a colonial-era theme park, pretending to “choke” on his food to con good Samaritans into saving him so he can pay for his mother’s expensive medical and mental healthcare bills. The dude is like the superhero of self-destructive behavior. His life is a masterclass in how not to adult, “what would Jesus NOT do,” and he's proud of it. Victor's mother, Ida, is in a nursing home, battling dementia and revealing some shocking family secrets. As Victor grapples with his mother's deteriorating mind, the story unveils some mind-bending truths that you'll either love or hate.

Victor's support group for sex addicts is where all the fun and games really begin. Picture a room full of people with more quirks than a circus sideshow but look every bit of living in a real circus. As Victor navigates this motley crew of misfits, you'll find yourself questioning what it means to be "normal," what normal may be, and whether any of us really fit that mold or not. "Choke" challenges societal norms and questions what it means to be human in a world where our quirks and flaws are laid bare for all to see. It's dark, it's funny, and it's bound to leave you with more questions than answers. Chuck Palahniuk's "Choke" is a provocative, twisted, and unapologetically raw exploration of the human condition. It's a journey through the absurdity of life, where Victor Mancini's self-destructive sexcapades serve as a mirror reflecting our own flaws and quirks.

The 2008 film adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk's "Choke," directed by Clark Gregg; best known for portraying Agent Phil Coulson from the Marvel Cinematic Universe (Iron Man/Avengers films) and starring Sam Rockwell, follows the general plot and themes of the novel. There are instances where it follows very closely to the book. However, some of the characters like Denny and their arcs are much different in the film over the novel. These secondary characters are major points in the book where they are dummied down or paraphrased in the film, if mentioned at all. There are a number subplots that are not explored in the film or are heavily abbreviated. The inner monologs, while used in the film, are not nearly as dominant as they are in the book. The inner monologs in the book are the center point of the story. They are used heavily in the “FIGHT CLUB” film adaption and a center-point to the plot of the film. In “Choke” they are used to a much lesser degree. “Choke” the novel; is told as inner thoughts over the film that tries to bring a three-act structure to what would be random inner thoughts of scenes played out in a person’s life. The book has no story structure like a movie where there is a beginning, middle and end. The book is much more random how it tells the story. The Ending of the film is completely different than the novel. The movie takes a more straightforward dark-humor, love-story approach and provides a more optimistic and conclusive “happily-ever after” ending for Victor and Paige. In the book it is much more uncertain and dark about their future as she was a mental patient and not a doctor as she claimed.

In the book she claims to be a time traveler from the year 2556 and needs to get pregnant to bring the unborn child to the future. However in the film, she was a med student like Victor that ended up having a nervous breakdown when she got her first B in school. She self-checked into the hospital and her plot is completely different from that of the book. The revelation about Victor's true identity and Ida's manipulating Victor his entire life from since he was a small boy is heavily downplayed in the movie. It is in there, but it isn’t as important as it is in the book. In the book it is clear she is nuts about a lot of things, but it is never centered upon as to what is actually wrong with her. Her having mental issues isn’t really important outside that she has mental problems. The specifics of those mental problems are not very important to Victor’s journey in the confines of the story. Merely that they are there and have affected him as he grew up.

The movie is solid. It’s more understandable as a story. The book really hashes out how FK’d up Victor really is. That, most of his problems are dummied down in the movie over the film or have more dark humor tone to them. The book is much darker than the film, but the film is a great dark satire of the source material from the novel. It’s a good watch, but if you want to know the ins and outs of the characters; the novel serves this better…

Is it a Good Watch Though?

I thought so... I saw it once when it came out in 2008 and once 11/3/2023. Both watches were good. Now that I read the book though I think the movie is less as far as telling its story but it’s still good. It’s still very much worth a watch. Just the movie is more a dark-humored twisted love story where the book is more a commentary about the subject of love of a man that has serious mommy issues and is trying to gain some closure as his mother is dying.

I guess you can say the story, in general, is a coming of age tale, but told from a very FK’d up person, in a really messed up situation…

Choke (The Novel vs The Film) by David-Angelo Mineo 11/9/2023 1,000 Words

[mineofilms]

Medical Update Fall 2023

As most of you know, I am sick… I have been sick for the better part of a decade now. I suspect my diabetic state started in the spring of 2012, I embarked on a journey, albeit an involuntary one, into the mysterious realm of diabetes. Little did I know that this path would be riddled with bizarre encounters that would rival a Greek tragedy. The only tragedy here is my life. The only one hurting here is myself. The people around me continue to suffer. I wasn’t officially diagnosed till summer of 2014 and almost right away my condition broke all the rules of a typical type II diabetic case. Everyone is now an expert on diabetes, how it works and how it “allegedly,” can be reversed. I believe unresolved extreme depression in my youth, that I ignored, and was also ignored by adults that would observe my erratic, sometimes insane, behaviors, contributed to my drinking habits becoming more intensive over the 2000s through the last decade. My father, who is a Vietnam Vet, was exposed to Agent Orange when he served, that has caused many of his ongoing health issues. I, being the first born of four boys, have the most physical, medical, mental health challenges in the family. Along with large amounts of stress in the workplace(s) over the years, I believe this had much to do with me becoming diabetic. I do not believe this was “just” habits. I believe all of which I just stated equally contributed to the condition. I also believe these same mental health issues caused me to ignore these issues as they crept up over the decades.

The summer of 2014, a season marked not by sunshine and leisure beach days, but by my official diagnosis with Type II Diabetes, as my eyes were being aggressively attacked by cataract in both eyes, simultaneously. As my left eye began its cataract performance in July 2014, I couldn't help but think, "Why should it have all the fun?" One day in October 2014 my right eye decided to join the party. It started mid-afternoon and by nightfall, it was a full house, and I found myself enjoying a riveting 90% blindness experience in my right eye. Quite the spectacle, indeed. I am not even sure how I was able to drive home like this. I was treated to double cataract surgery later in the month, and I began to notice the birth of denial issues. Denial is a peculiar companion, isn't it? A few more treatments, some ER visits, and an unexpected DUI later, I was spiraling down a rabbit hole that showed no signs of slowing.

They say truth is stranger than fiction, and in my case, its stranger than the upside-down dimension of “Stranger Things.” My personality became very difficult to deal with during this time, even worse now. I became way more confrontational with people, in general, especially those in the workplace and more withdrawn with people that were close to me. From 2005 to present I have probably had about 30-35 jobs that I was either terminated from or walk out of. Outside of three weeks in November of 2019. I have not worked a job on the books since November 2017. In July 2017, my debut as a “cellulitis connoisseur,” specializing in right middle finger infections. There goes my “go-to butt-holing finger,” I say to myself. The inside of my finger tip was surgically removed, as my blood sugar frolicked in the 500+ range. My reward for this adventure? Eight luxurious days in Sarasota’s finest ICU, replete with liquid IV antibiotics. It's almost as if they knew I needed a vacation. At least the food was amazing. No, seriously… The food at Sarasota Memorial is better than most of the restaurants in the area. I’d take a girl to the hospital cafeteria for a date before I take her to P.F. Sucks.

In September 2017, a torn L4 in my lower back. It hurt, especially when I dared to stand upright for more than a few hours. The cool kids may have partied through the night, but my nights were filled with discomfort as I struggled to find the perfect sleep position. October 2018, a time when my face decided to sprout a skin boil. A trip to the local clinic gifted me an antibiotic, and within days, it vanished like a female sex addict at an ED anonymous meeting. Super Bowl Sunday of 2020’s treat, cellulitis in my left eye, no treatment available to unemployed assclowns who think toughing everything out like a Rocky movie montage should be normal for anyone. Who needs a halftime show when you have your eye acting up? And oh, the blurry vision, a recurring guest in my line of sight. As the world descended into quarantine-madness, then gender madness now Jewish/Muslim madness, I consoled myself with heavier, three-day weekend drinking. My personal remedy for the absurdity that was 2020. Then, on a seemingly innocuous day in June 2020, I embarked on a stranger-danger date with Covid-19 at a beachside bar/restaurant in St. Pete meeting some girl for the first time I no longer talk to. A tequila shot, the harbinger of a migraine headache to try and make this seem like a good idea at the time. With a stroke of luck, I was graced with mono-like symptoms and embarked on a rollercoaster ride of wellness and illness that was Covid-19, which then turned to ketoacidosis and pancreatitis.

I have yet to fully recover from this 1,151 days later and counting…

Alcohol Intake was rather high starting in February 2020 due to the quarantine already. I have not had a drink since that day. I have sworn off Alcohol for life. Diabetic Ketoacidosis and Pancreatitis is a reminder of a symphony of sickness, weakness, and a relentless dance between my digestive system, gravity itself and death if not treated right away. I waited six days... Not even the bravest of souls would dare to eat or drink when everything returned as bile, blood and partially digested pancreas within the hour. July 11th, 2020, marked a visit to the ER. With Covid-19 as my not-so-welcome companion, I spent 36 hours in the ICU. Morphine ensured that I had no recollection of this enchanting stay, but it left me with a positive test for Covid-19. It was the Liver-Pancreas Shutdown Spectacular – a show I didn't even know I had VIP tickets for.

Come July 15th 2020, I was set free, proving that even the most peculiar of odysseys have a pause button. Pause is subjective… A brief intermission before Macular Edema decided to join the ensemble, debuting in both my eyes on July 18th 2020. The drama continued with eye doctor appointments, blurred vision, erratic heart rate and a spectacle fit for a thriller. By August 14th 2020, I dared to venture out into the world after months of seclusion. It wasn't without its challenges; anxiety clung to me like a shadow, and the weight on my chest was a constant reminder of the strangeness of human interaction. My chest felt like a pressure cooker about to burst. September 2020 was a month when I had the pleasure of being denied the SSI benefits that I not only need but absolutely qualify for. My lawyers took it upon themselves to embark on an appeals journey that promised more excitement than I had bargained for. I am still in appeals now 1,100+ days later.

I now have rather high anxiety that began sometime in 2015-2016. It is a complete polar opposite of who I used to be before this all started. In March 2016 ED (Erectile Dysfunction) began to rear its debilitating appearance. I have not just had to deal with the physical effects of ED this whole time but the mental and emotional issues as well. I feel this has hit me harder than the physical parts. I would have considered myself a hypersexual personality, nice way of saying sex addict. I will keep the specifics of those exploits to a minimum till I can figure out how to make money off those, ha… To go from “that” to nothing in such a short time really catapulted my anxiety and depression. Which in turn drove me to drink more from 2016-2020, which contributed to this whole mess. I am also dealing with extreme fatigue since I feel I originally caught Covid-19 and in nearly a constant state of physical pain in the form of extreme muscle aches. I am experiencing pain near 5-6 on the 10-scale almost 24/7. I am also experiencing issues in the heat when I go outside. I can only be outside for a few minutes before I feel sick. I can be out there when it is hot, but I tend to fatigue very quickly, and am sort of weak when out in the extreme humidity of SWFL. I still take strolls in the nature trails by my house five days a week.

December 2021 came with its own package of surprises, as I decided to halt treatments on my eyes at Retina Associates of Sarasota. It turns out I didn't have the insurance for laser surgery, a small detail that seemed to have escaped their notice. In 2022, Hurricane IAN decided to add its unique chapter to my saga, bringing heavy damage to my house which has yet to be paid out by the insurance company for repairs to the house. We are talking over a year with no pool cage. Warped doors, drywall damage, damaged floor tile, the pool tile is bubbling up on the deck as well. It’s a shitshow of damages that the insurance company wants NO accountability for but they want their monies every month or they will drop us. It’s a goddamn clown-show of poop… Just another day in the life of a medically sick, mental-health crackpot thrill-seeker, I suppose.

A second helping of denial came around the corner to my life in and around November 2022, The SSI appeal, a never-ending quest, proved elusive yet again. May 2023, I waded into the realm of diabetes treatments with Virginia B Andes. With a dash of irony, June 2023 welcomed the flu into my life, and I found myself on the brink of another ER visit due to my stubborn inability to recover. June and July 2023 became a blur of sickness and health, interspersed with ten days of respite. Mid-July 2023 I decided to take charge of my medication, straying from the beaten path of standard treatment. I've never been one for conformity, and my body has made that abundantly clear. With meticulous record-keeping of my blood sugar, insulin doses, and other metrics, I presented a case against metformin, which not only failed to tame my sugars but left my stomach and digestion in turmoil. Right now my digestive issues seem to be what stand out the most on my day to day issues. They are quite extreme. The constant pain I get in all my joints and muscles. The stiffness. I spend more time stretching out than I do actually training my body. If I didn’t train I feel my condition would be worse for both my physical health and my mental health. My experimentation with regular insulin led to sporadic sugar crashes, a thrilling rollercoaster ride. One literally feels their perception leaving the body. Things like sight turn to tunnel vision and seem distant. The ability to think gets super scattered and cannot even remember basic things like age/weight/sex. A brief stint with 70/30 insulin emerged as the unlikely wannabe hero, providing some better stability. September 2023, Happy 45th birthday to me and I found myself marveling at the subtle changes in my eye power (again). Perhaps a visit to the eye doctor was in order, as the nearest treatment was a distant trek to Bonita Springs, which is anywhere between 90-120-minute drive; an adventure I am not willing to venture in.

October 2023 brought with it a new challenge - the need to convey my peculiar case to the higher-ups at Virginia B Andes. My goal? To secure a semblance of stability and a well-thought-out plan to navigate around this medical labyrinth. Right now I have a candle and I need a mag light… Simultaneously, I began re-seeking help for my mental health, an issue that had been overshadowed by the medical circus. This one subject should be a blog on its own and I feel I will write one. The short version is I had an amazing therapist who truly understood my quirks than any woman I ever dated or was with. Sadly she unexpectedly passed away. She was young, healthy, vibrant, and was the most important female in my reality besides my mother for nearly two years. I have yet to really hash this out properly. I have yet to mourn her passing. Too much happening around me that literally made me not think of it and that in and of it itself is terrible. Empathy is something I struggle with, heavily since I became ill over a decade ago. I get sicker, the more my quality of life shrinks, the less space in my soul exists for such things as empathy…

In the realm of analyzing the data that comes across my perception. I've come to my own conclusions about my condition(s). A history of unresolved depression, coupled with the chaotic dance of alcohol, stress, genetic deposition of what my father was exposed to, me being the first born, and perhaps sheer bad luck, led me to the doorstep of diabetes. This journey transformed me from an affable soul into a confrontational, withdrawn figure, navigating a sea of instability with employment, love, being a mature adult. I waved goodbye to my job market presence in 2017, save for a three-week stint in 2019. A sudden increase in alcohol consumption during the quarantine heightened my anxiety, propelling me to change into a polar opposite of my former self. My already borderline-mental health issues. The extreme complications I have had with my diabetic state over others that have to deal with it and the specter of erectile dysfunction became my companions, wreaking havoc on my mental and emotional well-being. In the vast landscape of my current medical issues, I find myself engulfed in a never-ending battle with Type II Diabetes, retinopathy, diabetic ketoacidosis, pancreatitis, neuropathy, PTSD, bipolar disorder, and the silent agony of erectile dysfunction. Gastroparesis has thrown digestion into disarray, leaving behind a messy trail of stomach pains and a self-consciousness I never wanted to be or have to begin with. Finally, let's not forget the chronophobia or the fear/anxiety of the passage of time and never feeling like I have enough of it – an affliction that gnaws at my sanity with the relentless march of time, casting a perpetual shadow of dread over my existence.

—I Go Through This Every Day—

My cocktails of various medications, that seem to not work how they are supposed or at least get minimal effects of that could rival the most complex mixology of drinks at your, local, now closed for good, TGI Friday’s. We have the dynamic duo of 70/30 and long-lasting insulin, along with a hint of Lisinopril and a sprinkle of Amlodipine. Not to forget the Polyethylene Glycol, a singer that never quite matches up with the lip-sync on the stage. My supplement list includes Omega-Three Fish Oil, Vitamin D, and Probiotics, all served in generous helpings. A nightly dose of Melatonin and sound-frequency therapy ensures that my dreams are as complex and either relatable or unreliable as my medical journey has been. Should be noted that I informed ALL Doctors for over a decade now, not to treat me like “a typical type-II diabetic” case. That ALL treatments that are typical or standard would be ineffective. Late July 2023, I brought in my data that I keep for my numbers. I record my blood sugar, the type and amount of insulin I take, the date/time I do this. I do this for each meal. I also take my weight, fasted in the A.M. and my Sys/Dia/PR, along with the time I do that. I take and log this data into a spreadsheet three to four times a day. I was able to show that metformin does nothing for me and destroys my stomach, which I already suffer from Gastroparesis, which is still very persistent and we are not even sure if this is that or something else. I have never gotten a solid diagnosis. I was able to show that taking regular insulin tend to put me in hypo (extremely low blood sugar). The only thing at this point that has shown to control my blood sugar numbers is taking a light dose of 70/30 with each meal. A shot of Long Lasting insulin from 10-15 units, once in the AM and once at night around the bedtime hour. This has also caused hypo, but far less frequent and usually happens if I eat a really small meal that is on the extremely low end on the carb scale. If I eat normal I am fine, but there are those times when I get mentally overwhelmed and do not eat enough to justify the amount of insulin I just took. I intended to eat more or a bigger carb meal but would lose my thoughts, get overwhelmed, frustrated and eat small, only to have to eat something I shouldn’t later to get my sugars back up. I probably need a pump but I cannot handle having that on/in my body at all times. I just can’t do it.

Since the beginning I have never been able to get my blood sugars under control with standardized medicines for the treatment of Type II diabetes. Curving my diet works, some, but it is not something I can do under my current living situation on a regular basis. We tried all the standard or typical treatments for people showing the symptoms I show. What tends to be most people does not apply to me. I have the data to show this. Metformin didn’t work in 2014. Granted we can argue that my drinking could have been at play there, but we later, again, tried this treatment in 2022 after I have already been sober for 2 years. We had different direct results but the same result as it did nothing to regulate my blood sugar. All we found out was metformin makes me sick. If I mix it with drinking I get sleep paralysis and I being “taken” by shadow people. So, yeah, hard pass on that one… Where most Type II diabetics float around the low 200s I was in the three and four hundreds. All it did was further agitate my digestive system. That seems to be getting worse by the month. We then tried regular insulin and my sugars would crash around that 3-times a week mark. We shifted the insulin to 70/30 and that worked a little but only if I took it with all meals or any time I sat down to eat. If that was twice, three or four times a day. That is when I would need to dose up.

May to June of 2023; the Doctor puts me on one dose of Long Lasting insulin followed by regular insulin with each meal and metformin. I went back to crashing out my sugars again now with additional stomach issues. I spent nearly all of June and July of 2023 sick. During this time I wasn’t eating a lot, so I would not take my meds if I was not eating. I noticed some of the symptoms were relieving themselves. I then started subtracting medicines. I went back on the 70/30 taking it with all meals and decided to split up the long lasting insulin shot to see if it would curve down these sugar spikes. The attempt here is take those sharp spikes and try to make them more like hills than drastic sharp points. After I did this I started noticing my numbers leveling off to more consistent normal numbers. I started feeling better. I started feeling better enough to join a gym. I still have extreme stomach issues. However, taking the meds for that like how I am doing it the symptoms are not as bad. They are still severe, painful, messy and a bother; but it is no longer nearing the levels of discomfort as I had before where I was about to go to the ER again. I am not saying I am doing better. I’d say I am doing “less worse” than I was in say June and July of 2023. When I am having issues I am still fairly useless, in extreme discomfort and the mess it makes in the bathroom is disheartening. I know we are limited at what sort of treatment I can get through my current medical accessibility. I am grateful for what Virginia B Andes all do for me. I just wish my SSI (Supplemental Security Income) would go through so that I can get a better stability and understanding on what it is that is actually happening to me here. I feel like something else is at play here that NO ONE has been able to figure out. In EVERY instance I have to argue with medical people about the most typical answer here, the one that ALL medical people seem to keep projecting onto me, is indeed, the wrong one… I have no expectations that I will convey this to anyone that can actually look into this at the level it needs to be looked at while my SSI case is in appeals for the third or fourth time now. This isn’t your problem or even your fight. It’s mine and I have accepted that –that is how this stuff is done. I just try to maneuver around the red tape and do what I can do for myself with the very limited resources that are displayed to me. Does this make me sometimes difficult to be around and/or operate around? Absolutely it does. I am working very hard on myself, pretty much by myself. I am still trying to get a new therapist. I need more things to happen faster but I cannot make broken fixed just because I want that to happen. I can only steer the ship for so long before it requires others to keep the boat afloat.

In closing, my medical saga has been nothing short of bewildering. Standard treatments have proven futile, and my quest for stability remains elusive. The medical world sees me as a typical Type II Diabetes case, but I stand as an exception, a conundrum, defying all attempts at categorization. My journey continues, with red tape and uncertainty as my companions. If, by some miraculous chance this enigma may have an end other than a day of remembrance of my days of life at the beach, where all my friends, and peers say goodbye to me. FUCK… I so do not wanna be “that guy.” I have no thirst to be there, like that. For now, I continue to soldier on, the captain of my ship through the turbulent seas of my health.

Brace the sails and laugh in the face of the storm, for behind those clouds, the sun awaits our triumphant return… (Air guitar solo.)

Medical Update Fall 2023 by David-Angelo Mineo 11/9/2023 3,916 Words

Medical Timeline Since 2012 (Suspected Beginning of My Type II Diabetes)

2012-2019

• Spring 2012 - Believed Start of my Diabetic State.

• July 2014 - Diagnosed with Type II Diabetes after going to North Port ER. Blood Sugar 500+. I was put on metformin and within a week I was getting sleep paralysis about 3x a week. That is when I started on insulin. I was still drinking alcohol during this time and I suspect the sleep paralysis came from the mixing of the meds and drinking.

• July 2014 - Cataract begins to form in my left eye.

• September 2014 - Left Eye is completely covered in cataract.

• October 2014 - One day around 3pm Cataract begins to form in my right eye. Around the 7pm hour that same day my right eye now was completely covered in cataract, which left me at about 90% blind.

• November 2014 - I have double cataract surgery.

• September 2015 - Denial issues start to form.

• November 2015 - I have double YAG Treatment. Standard Follow-up procedure for Cataract Surgery.

• June 2016 - DUI. I had not yet heeded my original diagnosis to stop drinking. Blood Sugar at the Jail over 500+.

• July 2017 - Cellulitis in my right middle finger. A large section of the infection, which was the inside of the tip of my right middle finger was cut out. Blood Sugar in the ER was 500+. I was in ICU for 8 days hooked up to liquid IV antibiotics.

• September 2017 - L4 tear in my lower back. Hurts a lot if I stand for too long, measured in hours. Most of the time I am fine but at night when I try to sleep it is hard to stay comfortable. I can no longer sleep on my sides or stomach for very long. Nor can I sleep through the night, most nights.

• October 2018 - Skin boil on my face from ingrown hair. Went to a local clinic and they gave me an antibiotic. It healed in a few days.

2020

• February 2nd - Super Bowl Sunday - Cellulites, Left Eye, no treatment. Healed in a few days. Has had blurry vision on/off since.

• March - June - Quarantine, Had been drinking on the heavier side on weekends due to the craziness that is/was the Pandemic.

• June 22nd - Likely caught Covid in St Pete at a restaurant on the beach. Last shot, tequila, my only drink of the day. Was not feeling well on the way home. Started with a migraine headache. • June 24th - Mono like symptoms, in bed, last insulin shot till ER on July 11th.

• June 26th - Felt ok, went out to eat. Last beer, just one. 

• June 27th - Sick again, mostly the same as before. Mono like symptoms.

• July 9th - Likely start date of Diabetic Ketoacidosis and Pancreatitis. So sick and weak and anything I tried to drink or eat came back up as bile and blood within an hour. • July 11th - Called 911 to come get me. Admitted in ER at Englewood Community. 36 hours in ICU. No real memory of this as I was on Morphine the whole time. Had extreme visions/experiences. Tested positive for Covid-19 but feel Covid had already run its course. I was there because my Liver and Pancreas went into complete shutdown.

• July 15th - Released under my own power.

• July 18th - Home 3 days and Macular Edema sets in both eyes.

• July 25th - Eye Doctor Appointment and Macular Edema is confirmed.

• July 26th - Vision starting to improve.

• July 30th - Eye Doctor follow up. Vision about 50% cleared up but still has heavy blurriness in the left eye right eye fairly useless.

• August 14th - Went out for the first time in months. Felt very awkward being around people. Anxiety through the roof. Felt like my chest was going to explode.

• September – Began going to Family Centers of SWFL for follow up treatments.

• December – Began treatments at Retina Associates of Sarasota for Retinopathy in both eyes.

2021

• September –Denied SSI benefits. Lawyers took it to appeals.

• December – Stopped treatments at Retina Associates of Sarasota due to no insurance for laser surgery to remove excess scar tissue in the right eye before we can continue treatments.

• December – Diagnosed with Gastroparesis.

2022

• September –Hurricane IAN strikes. Heavy damage to the house.

• November – Denied SSI Appeal. Lawyers re-appeal.

2023

• May – Began treatments for diabetes with Virginia B Andes.

• June – Sick with flu. Almost went to ER due to not being able to get better. I was sick virtually all of June and July with a 10-day break at the end of June and the beginning of July.

• July – Changed medications from initial Doctor’s recommendations to something I believed to be a more logical approach due to standard treatments being ineffective and my experience with these treatments and how my body has NOT responded to them.

• September – Noticed eye power changing in the positive direction. I probably need to see an eye doctor and get new glasses at this point. The nearest eye treatments I can get through Virginia B Andes is all the way down in Bonita Springs. That is not doable.

• October – Having to discuss my strange case to the higher ups at Virginia B Andes so that I can try to get some kind of stability in my medical care and plan of attack to try to right this ship that is my medical health. I am also seeking treatment for mental health issues as well but have yet to get the billing mix-ups corrected to make an appointment with a new therapist.

Current Medical Issues:

• Type II Diabetes (w/ extremely high blood sugar even with drugs.) • Retinopathy (both eyes, the right is really bad. Left is manageable.) • Diabetic ketoacidosis (seems stable upon last blood test) • Pancreatitis (seems stable upon last blood test) • Neuropathy (mostly numbness, rare sharp pains, loss of dexterity seems to be what is worst here) • PTSD (near death experiences and trips to ICU. My CNS is also very much out of whack.) • Bipolar Disorder (undiagnosed, untreated in youth) • Erectile Dysfunction (started after I got the flu in March 2016 and have issues ever since). • Gastroparesis (digestion is abnormally slow, bowel movements are extremely messy, stomach pains, between 4-6 on the 10-scale.) • Chronophobia (fear, extreme anxiety from the flow of time and always having a sense of dread there is never enough time.)

Medications:

• 70/30 Insulin - Lite dose with each meal, 0-20 units. (Supposed to take twice a day.) • Long Lasting Insulin – x2/day, 10-15 units, once in the morning and once before bed. (Supposed to take one big dose a day.) • Lisinopril (40mg) – once a day. • Amlodipine (5mg) – once a day. • Polyethylene Glycol – once a day. (Supposed to take twice a day.)

Supplements & Vitamins:

• Omega Three Fish Oil, Twice a day. Once in the morning before breakfast and once before dinner.

• Vitamin D, Twice a Day. Once in the morning before breakfast and once before dinner. This is a double dose.

• Probiotic, Twice a Day. Once in the morning before breakfast and once before dinner.

• Melatonin (5-12mg) once a night about an hour before bed.

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