#Black Warden Boss Fight

[damez1979]

Asterigos Curse of the Stars: Defeating The Black Warden

[3gremlins]

feel like im having a DA2 experience again where I really liked it and was in my little "this is good" cocoon where i played it many times only to emerge from underground and find everyone else hated it (i mean ive found the other da2 cicadas since but at the time it got really slammed). i've been really enjoying DA:TV so far ( lol tho obvs have notes) here's an early thoughts review, may be a bit spoilery, def rambley, trying to stay vague on stuff still (i think i'm about half way maybe? im trying to not look things up and doing it blind on my first run through. it's hard to tell b/c i went hard on all the side quests and am now way over level for the msq)

the combat system is a little jarring at first and i still miss at least being able to switch to and play as party members if your character dies (instead of the god of war style of full wipe), but i've gotten used to it (it's more annoying for boss fights, regular combat it's very zippy and fun). the targeting at least on controller is kind of annoying sometimes- i'll think i'm pointing at one enemy only to have rook turn and fire at nothing or companions to hit an add instead of a boss. I wish we at least had more control over how it queued who it was hitting. some of the arenas are obnoxious design wise - there's bosses that teleport to you and they give you like a tiny little box to dodge around, not the most fun. i do like that you can punch way above of your weight class sometimes which reminds me of DAO a little bit (like how you'd just wander into a fight or hit a gong and be like oh no, those enemies have skulls over their heads, oh well YOLO). sometimes it doesn't work out but when it does it's very satisfying. It's nice to be able to conquer something mechanically even underleveled (smol fromsoft vibes) Having always been a big fan of the strange composition parties (i.e not just war/rogue/mage), i like that this is now even more viable (and not just me being cheeky "we're having a leather party!" of all squishy rogues). but like the main thing about bioware games is the companions/interpersonal shit and i'm enjoying the heck out of that .i only do main quests to get more side quests from companions (or more side quests in general so we can troll around for more banter). i like petting griffons (and cats and dogs) and playing games with manfred*. I wish the gift system was more interesting like DAO or DA2- i was so excited to see it again and then it was a little disappointing to have them barely react when you get them stuff.

my current fave party are rook and the poison boys (emmerich and lucanis) since they're a rogue too and we just stack necrosis, bleeds and other elemental effects on things till they disintegrate. i like the lighthouse, it feels much cozier than skyhold. I love that you can just wander up to companions having convos and awkwardly eavesdrop. I do miss the little interactions/quests you could get with cole esp*** i think the animations are a little lack lustery? Idk there's something with the face model morphs that sometimes feels weird but the voice acting is strong enough that I don't notice too much. i do miss some of the more bioware-y cheeky things like item descriptions or weird notes near random silly environmental tableaus (there's a little but i just want to read all the notes! there's some in the grey warden areas where i was just like WAIT I HAVE QUESTIONS but there was no plaque about them T.T). where are the stacks of cheese (i do appreciate the fereldens love cheese jokes tho and harding getting so excited when someone says something nice about ferelden) i was esp bummed that there were no random things to read in the black emporium and it's all codex entries instead (that's my favorite tiny bit in DA2 where there's junk you can click on and xenon says weird shit to you). i also wish more had been done with accents of npcs- like i wish all the antivans had similar accents or your crow rook had an antivan accent, stuff like that (having a lot of "ferelden" generic british accents everywhere is disappointing. takes you out of the immersion a lot) My biggest gripe is probably the pacing - I wish it had more horror/mystery pacing like dao and da2 had- the reason we're all scarred by the brood mother is b/c the build up to that was so so creepy (also the necromancer bit w/hawke's mum in DA2). They gave us time to be unnerved or afraid and I do feel the evanuris reveals have been a little rushed so you can't really feel that worried about them (some of the side quests get close to this but still not quite there**). I wish they'd let them breathe a bit more instead of rushing from one giant world changing event to the next. Some of the reveals have been not so great- like lore that the fandom has poured over for 15ish years explained in one line?? i wish there'd been more build up of rook as a character too, maybe even a time skip from a prologue to finding solas kind of thing. the first trailer made it seem like that's what was going to happen but then it in media res'd us in a strange way. the first 10 hours of the game are probably the weakest imho, it took it a bit to get rolling and feel more natural. I appreciate that the first major decision doesn't really let you scum save for it (bit of a jump scare for me lol).

I also don't really need this much varric anymore, i kinda wish we had a different narrator if we have to have one. He feels really awkward to just have there and not doing anything(and not just kill off or have something happen to him? he got stabbed by the dagger and harding only touched it is what i'm saying). at least let him get better pjs and slippers or something Idk it does feel like bits of previous iterations they were working on are still there and they don't completely serve the plot well. And ofc there's the decisions not meaningfully carrying over thing- which is a huge bummer. But in reality they've never been good at that- the characters from previous games we see in new games don't really carry through their plots/arcs that much (it's more like cameos or they're a new person now) and the world states are usually effectively the same just with aesthetic faction swaps. I was sort of hoping we'd get some solavellan SOMETHING but it doesn't look like we will get much at all past the stuff in minrathous. i feel like if they were going to only include the one choice it really should have had more impact on the story. (i am also still a clown and want to talk to solas constantly still even tho he has no reason to talk to my rook at all, i do not care, i love a sad woof. i wish we could just casually visit him in the fade. i wish we could switch to lavellan and visit him in the fade, idk something. need more gareth david-lloyd pls) the interpersonal character decisions have been the only ones that mattered much and then only within the constrains of their own games- the bigger world changing stuff is usually the illusion of choice. It would have been nice if they let us have one protagonist carry through but i can also see why they liked changing it up and felt stuck in that format. tl;dr: i'm really like it for what it is but it's def got flaws. Parts of it feel super polished while other bits do not- i think knowing how game dev works that they had to make decisions on what was going to get prioritized and some of it works while others not so much. I wish the pacing was better for sure but i love the characters/companions which is generally what bioware is best at. sad it won't get meaningful dlc, i don't really care about mass effect 5 tbqh. So far I like it better than inquisition for the most part- it feels like a bigger/more polished DA2 in a lot of ways if that makes any sense (with similar budget/pacing issues, but the environments are more fun). as i mentioned in my other post, i really appreciated the trans/non binary inclusion into the story/cc tho. like that can't be discounted, even if the rest of the game has issues. (all the holes in the narrative make me want to do fan art and fan fiction tho so idk, maybe that's an okay thing. maybe dragon age is best at inspiring us to sandbox around in it)

*side note, i am surprised at how much i like emmerich like holy shit what a lovely soft nerd of a man! going to have to play through a few times and romance him and also bellara for sure (romancing lucanis this time round) i find myself shipping my companions with each other more than i normally do too. I just want them to be happy! I wish they'd let us have polyamory, like i could see little polycules in this squad so easily. i need to give bellara hugs and lucanis head pats. taash deserves head pats too, but my rook will need a ladder.

**i am going to cry if they do with the griffons what i think they're doing with the griffons. like straight up, feeling like it was a cursed wish to have them now T.T *** do we think the caretaker is cole? the character design makes me wonder (like the hat/silhouette is very cole like but maybe not. maybe i just want it to be cole lol) there's def characters i want to see show up that aren't going to and then bioware is like "what about this fan favorite??" and i'm like "eh".

[explodingchantry]

Questions I have after finishing veilguard, so spoilers for everything

- harding touching the lyrium dagger rekindles her connection to the titans but it doesn't for a Dwarven rook - does that mean harding is special or chosen in a way?

- what MAKES the dagger special? It's called "purified lyrium" - does it mean that it is made of as raw lyrium as you can or was magic used on it to make it stronger? If it is raw lyrium, why does it have no effect on anyone close to it?

- so the blight is a result of the titans basically bring made tranquil, sure. But not all titans are blighted. Does it mean that not all titans were made tranquil? Is the titan we meet in the descent still connected to the fade and it's why it can give valta powers?

- WHY are darkspawn afraid of/avoiding titans? Sure the blight is made of angry broken titans (??) but why would the non... Fucked up titans drive them away/be immune?

- so red lyrium is blighted, fine. Lyrium is the blood of the titans, yes. And the blight is a product of the titans (?). So is red lyrium a titan who WASNT tranquil and who was then tainted???

- red lyrium is blighted except it can also be from a titan being really angry in which case it doesn't have the properties of the blight....??????????????

- how did davrin survive killing ghil's archdemon AND how did Solas kill elg's archdemon without needing to be a warden?? The game openly raises this as a question but never answers it? Ghil is shown playing around with razikale's soul (????) during the boss fight but. What happens when we finally kill it...????? Does the soul go back to the evanuris and it's what makes them mortal or what?

- how are the other evanuris dead????? Is it because we've killed their archdemon?? But why would that kill the evanuris when killing ghil and elg's archdemon doesn't kill them but makes them mortal??

- overwhelming negative emotion or being made to betray their nature can turn spirits into demons even when they are inhabiting a mortal body (as it's implied determination possessed lucanis first before being turned into spite). But the first elves/evanuris were spirits made flesh via lyrium (?). What makes them unable to be corrupted? Did they gain a more vast consciousness as soon as they got their physical bodies?

- morrigan can turn into a dragon in dai if she drank from the well of sorrows, which means her ability to do so is based on knowledge rather than only raw power. In veilguard she has the memories of mythal, which should be even better than the memories of the well, so why doesn't she turn into a dragon to help us lol

- why is there a giant version of a super random statue used twice in da2 (where Merrill tried to summon the demon to cleanse the eluvian, and then in legacy dlc as an altar of dumat) appear in the fade prison?

- Solas is stuck in the prison he made for the gods, right, which we end up in later. Is it seriously just a prison of regret. Did these self important motherfuckers really just not manage to work through their regrets for a thousand years whilst rook does it in like ten minutes (to be fair the game implies it to be longer than we see, but still)

- how come it was only a fraction of the blight that the magisters released from the black city? Did the rest of the blight feel too lazy to come out?

- dead ass even after killing one I don't understand wtf the forgotten ones are or what their place in ancient elvhenan was

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

smth smth Share Something Sunday

I started writing this the other day and don't know what to do with it, so I figured I'd just share it. I'm afraid to tag people but if anyone sees this and wants to share anything they've been working on, I'd love to see it :)

//

“Rook,” Davrin nodded, not looking up from his whittling.

“You can call me Patlani, you know,” Patlani said as they walked in casually, eyeing the figures on his workbench before leaning against it.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Davrin said, focusing on the wood in his hands.

An uneasy silence fell in the workshop, the only noise the crackling of the fire in the hearth and the rhythmic sound of Davrin’s knife on wood.

“If you have a problem with me, you should say it,” Patlani said, breaking the silence.

Davrin paused, finally looking over to Patlani. He set down his carving.

“You’re an assassin, like Lucanis,” 

“Got a problem with that?” 

“You kill people for money,” 

“Yup, probably less money than Lucanis. I’m a run-of-the-mill assassin, a nobody, not the Demon of Vyrantium,” 

“How do you sleep at night?” 

“With 3 daggers with me and innocent blood on my hands,” They shrugged.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” 

“Wouldn’t matter if it does,” Patlani said, “Not everyone was gifted a noble purpose on a silver platter,” 

“A silver platter? Being a Warden isn’t something you just waltz into, it’s a serious commitment, a lifelong commitment to fighting the darkness in the world, people die just trying to be a Warden, I chose to risk my life for this purpose,” 

“Must be nice, having a choice,” Patlani scoffed.

“Every time you kill someone you choose to do it,” 

Patlani was quiet, jaw set, looking off to the side. They opened their mouth to speak a few times, only to close it before saying a word. Creators, Davrin wanted them to say something, to spit back some venom, to give some flimsy excuse. They didn’t make sense. 

Davrin realized his hands were clenched into fists.

“Say something,” 

Patlani looked back over to him. Their black ponytail spilled over their shoulder, their shirt was unbuttoned just enough that Davrin could make out what looked like scars in the shape of feathers along their collarbone and sternum. He could also see the start of a tattoo, in the center of their chest and creeping over the swell of their pecs—

He shouldn’t be looking at them like that, he told himself. They’re his boss, but more importantly, a heartless killer—

One that gives handfuls of gold to every beggar they see, one that is trying to save the world, one that risked their life to help him try to save the griffons, something in him said.

“I kill people, innocent people, and I probably will in the future. It’s my job,” Patlani said, standing up, crossing their arms,  “If you have a problem with that and don’t want to fight alongside me, then you can leave,”

He should, Davrin wanted to get up, grab Assan, and leave. But in the Wardens, he had fought alongside murderers, criminals, the worst kinds of people but they had turned their lives around and become Wardens.

Patlani wasn’t a Warden, though, they were a Crow.

[chaoticm0therfvcker]

The Real Minecraft Movie

So, in one of my previous posts, I mentioned that I would be making my own version of the Minecraft movie because looking at the trailer it’s probably gonna be ass. So, here’s some info on it

Note: looking at how elaborate the plot is, I’m realizing now it would probably be better as a tv show instead of a movie, but 🤷‍♀️

Characters

Obviously, there will be Steve and Alex, who will take the role as the mentors of the main characters. Also they will be their correct races and have their correct skin colors.

Then, onto the main characters. They go by Kay and Archer, however since they are video game avatars being controlled by players in the outside world, their full names are Chaos_Girlie and ArcherTheRogue (Archers player likes DnD, okay?). A quick overview of how they got there is that they gained sentience even though they’re avatars in a video game. However, these full names will not be revealed until a goofy post credits scene at the end of the story.

Kay is the same average height as all other Minecraft humans and humanoids, and she has long, dark purple hair that’s half pulled back into a ponytail. Her avatar sports a purple t-shirt under a black jacket and black pants to match, as well as white socks and no shoes. Later on, she gets diamond armor that is later turned into netherite armor with amethyst trims. She’s the adventurer/miner of the group, and she often brings Archer along on adventures so that he can hunt and learn how to fight. She wields an axe as her main weapon, though she also uses a sword when she is sparring with Steve. She’s considerably more experienced than Archer for reasons that won’t be revealed until the twist. Also she loves axolotls and catches a cyan one she names Snowflake.

Archer is the same height as Kay, and he has light pink curly hair, kinda like the wool of a pink sheep. His avatar sports a light blue hoodie with a little black creeper face in the top corner of the front of his shirt by his shoulder, and black shorts with dark blue sneakers with white laces. Later on, he gets iron armor, but Kay helps him get netherite so it eventually gets replaced by netherite armor with diamond trim. His main weapon is a crossbow that he uses to shoot light blue fireworks at enemies, as well as a trident that he mainly just uses to get mob heads during thunderstorms. He is the hunter/builder of the two, though he has to bring Kay along with him for hunting sessions at the start because he isn’t very experienced with fighting. During one of their adventures, Archer finds a baby pink sheep and names it curly in reference to them having matching hair.

Also, later on they befriend a piglin brute they name Ender, because he helped them get ender pearls in a warped forest biome as a symbol of their friendship.

Enemies

Obviously, they will face the regular hostile mobs such as creepers, spiders, and zombies, and since both of them are more focused on exploring and hunting and stuff, they end up having to deal with phantoms very often.

They will also face off against the boss mobs of the game. They’ll start with the Elder Guardian, then they’ll accidentally spawn the Warden while exploring a cave, then they’ll spawn the Wither in the nether once Steve and Alex tell them about beacons (it will be the bedrock wither so it’ll spawn backup wither skeletons halfway through and be very unpredictable with its movements) and then the Ender Dragon will be their final battle.

The overall main antagonist of the game is Herobrine. He has been the main villain for Steve and Alex since the beginning of time, and he is the reason Steve and Alex are enlisting in the help of Kay and Archer to kill the Ender Dragon (this will be explained further in the plot section). They do end up fighting against him, but he ends up being spared under the conditions that he gives Ender the ability to travel to the overworld without being zombified and that if he ever gives them trouble again, he will be killed on the spot.

Plot

The movie starts with a montage of the different biomes along with a narrator saying the words from the very first trailer of Minecraft with Otherside by Lena Raine playing in the background. Then, it cuts to Kay and Archer spawning into the world, spawning about a foot off the ground and face planting into a plains biome. Groaning, they get up while rubbing their heads, and once they see each other, they introduce themselves. Since they don’t want to say their full names, they opt to say “Call me Kay; Call me Archer”. Off in the distance, there is a badlands biome in one direction and a taiga biome in the opposite direction, and they opt to go to the taiga biome so they can get some wood. While Kay is chopping away at spruce trees, Archer finds some sweet berry bushes and while trying to collect some of the berries, he ends up tripping and falling into the bush, taking damage with each movement. Since neither of them have any armor, he is taking some serious damage and needs help. This is where Steve and Alex come in; while they’re returning from an adventure, they see Archer struggling and decide to help him out by tearing apart the bush and offering him a regeneration potion. Once Archer sees who just helped him, he starts geeking out, and when Kay turns to see what all the commotion is about, she starts geeking out as well. Touched by the amount of admiration they are receiving, Steve and Alex ask if they want to tag along on their adventures, offering to train them and even help them navigate through all of the typical major milestones for players. Once she hears about this, Kay excitedly remarks that she’s waited so long to kill the Ender Dragon, which is a bit of a strange comment considering she just spawned into the world. Despite this, Archer ignores her remark and they start on their first adventure.

Kay tries to urge them to start by exploring the badlands biome off in the distance, but Alex states that they’re not ready to face off against all of the mobs within the mineshafts and instead bring them to a village to get food, armor and weapons instead. It’s a taiga village because those villages don’t get enough appreciation. Steve and Alex tell Kay and Archer to explore the village while they go talk to the armor and weapon smiths to hook them up with some weapons and armor. Kay goes off and explores some of the farms, stealing some pumpkins and potatoes but getting caught by a farmer villager. She apologizes and says that she’s new to the world and just wants some food, and the villager decides that she can keep the food as long as she gives him back some of the potatoes she stole so he can replant them and to bring him some of the bones she gets if she runs into any skeletons. He then mentions that she’s going to need to bake the potatoes and turn the pumpkins into pumpkin pie, and he decides that if it means she’ll get out of his hair, he’ll help her get the ingredients for the pumpkin pie. Meanwhile, Archer is exploring the village by going into all the villager houses and petting all the random animals in pens. All of a sudden, he runs into an iron golem. Intimidated, he stumbles back a little bit, but the iron golem offers him a poppy, which Archer takes while squeaking out a quick “thank you” before scrambling away. Steve approaches him and asks where Kay is, because the smiths they were talking to are ready to trade with them. Hearing Steve and Archer talking, Kay approaches them while stuffing her face with pumpkin pie to ask what’s going on. Steve tells them to follow them, and once they approach the armor and weapon smiths, Alex introduces them and hands them emeralds for trades.

With her emeralds, Kay excitedly gets herself an enchanted diamond axe, but soon realizes that she screwed up and doesn’t have enough emeralds for armor. Archer, on the other hand, gets himself iron armor without realizing that he could’ve gotten diamond armor and runs out of emeralds before he can get a weapon. Steve and Alex both facepalm at how stupidly they wasted their emeralds, but reassure them that they can collect materials to get more emeralds or get the materials to make weapons and armor themselves. Kay and Archer ask if the villagers have any spare beds that they can borrow, and Steve tells them to wait until nightfall to see if there are any spare beds. Soon, the sun sets, and Kay and Archer end up in neighboring cabins, with Kay sleeping in a purple bed and Archer sleeping in a blue bed that he wants to dye a lighter blue once he has the flowers to do so. The next morning, they grab their beds, thank the villagers for hosting them and trading with them, and they start their next adventure.

The four decide that their “next adventure” should be finding a place to build a base before setting off on other future adventures, and Alex states that their base should be near a body of water, that way they can have a dock to go fishing and have easier access to other biomes further out. Kay still wants to go to that badlands biome, but holds her tongue this time and just follows along. While they’re walking, Steve and Alex explain that their current mission is to kill herobrine so that they would be able to kill the Ender Dragon one final time. Archer asks them to elaborate, and Steve explains that herobrine is a godlike entity that doesn’t like when players get too powerful. Alex then takes over, explaining that in order to “complete” the end battle, they need to kill the Ender Dragon twenty times, creating a ring of end gateways around the main island. She states that they had already killed the Ender Dragon nineteen times, but that they were interrupted the final time by herobrine and spawned back into the overworld with none of their stuff, being forced to basically start from square one. Kay starts geeking out because she thought it was impressive to be able to kill the Ender Dragon once, let alone nineteen times! Then, they come across an area that would be perfect for their base, a flower forest with a warm ocean in front of them, a large plateau with an exposed cave in the side of it and a cherry grove on top of it to the right of them, and a beach to the left of them with a snowy peaks biome way off in the distance. Building a quick ladder, furnace, crafting table, and a few chests, they burrow into the ground and create an underground base, agreeing that they would expand their base once they’ve done some mining. Crafting up some stone pickaxes, Steve, Alex, and Kay go into the cave, but Archer says he’s gonna explore the ocean since he has respiration on his helmet. Steve tells him to be careful of drowned, pufferfish and guardians, and warns him about the mining fatigue he’ll get if he decides to explore an ocean monument. Archer promises to stay safe, and with a mock salute, he’s off to explore the ocean.

Since nothing overly exciting is currently happening to Kay, it cuts to Archer exploring the ocean. He’s swimming around, collecting sea pickles, and after he gets poisoned by a pufferfish, he kills a few pufferfish to see if he can do anything to them once he returns. Swimming out further, he discovers a shipwreck with iron, diamonds, lapis, and a treasure map. Soon, he finds an ocean monument, and as Steve warned, he gets the mining fatigue effect. However, before he has the chance to go inside, he feels a sharp pain in his side, and looking over in the direction of where he felt the pain, he sees a drowned holding a trident, ready to attack. He decides to attack the drowned so it’ll stop attacking him, and after a long and hard battle, he punches the drowned enough times that it dies and drops the trident, which Archer immediately grabs.

Swimming to the surface to catch his breath, he soon dives back under the water to explore the ocean monument. The battle against all the guardians was pretty hard, but with the help from his new trident, he was able to defeat everyone and even found the gold in the ocean monument. He tries to mine it with his stone pickaxe, but the gold block didn’t drop. Slightly discouraged, he soon realizes that he has a crafting table and a bunch of iron from the shipwreck he had discovered earlier, so he crafts an iron pickaxe and successfully mines the gold. Proud of his work, he returns to shore, deciding to go to the beach near their base to find the buried treasure listed on the map he found.

Then, it cuts to Kay, Steve, and Alex. They are currently at the outskirts of a lush cave, and due to the brightness of the cave warding off hostile mobs, they decide to set up a temporary little camp of crafting tables and furnaces. Kay asks what biome they are in and remarks that it’s beautiful, so Alex explains that it’s a lush biome, with lots of cool plant life, fish, and these cute little creatures called axolotls. Steve makes a remark that Alex got lucky and was able to explore lush caves when they first started being generated while he was stuck in a dripstone cave trying not to get impaled. Kay feels something nudging her and hears a little squeak, then looks down to see a little cyan axolotl looking up at her. Overwhelmed by cuteness, she scoops it up and starts cuddling with it, and Steve quickly crafts a bucket and hands it to Kay, telling her that if she wants to keep her new friend alive, it needed to go in the bucket. Kay gladly obliges and names it Snowflake, and once they reach the ores finish smelting, they return to the surface to check on Archer.

When they emerge from the cave, Archer excitedly approaches them and tells them about his discoveries, which Alex is very happy to hear about and offers to teach him how to use it. Steve and Kay go off to build their base, and Alex crafts a few target blocks to train Archer with. She tells him how to throw it and how to aim properly and stuff, and he does surprisingly well, which Alex takes notice of. She makes a remark at his natural skill, and he replies by explaining that he saw how the drowned was attacking him and just did something similar to that. After they train a little while longer, they notice a pillager patrol and Alex tells him to use his new skills to kick their butts, saying that she’ll be close behind him with her bow. After killing all the pillagers, he gets his crossbow, which Alex congratulates him on and shows him how to use it, later explaining that he could use fireworks as ammo once they get gunpowder, paper, and dye.

Alex and Archer return to Steve and Kay to see them struggling to build a house. They’ve got a frame up made of stripped spruce wood, and they have a little farm and and some sugar cane off to the side, but they’re arguing about how to build the rest of the house. Kay is trying to say that a cool castle made of stone bricks would be awesome, while Steve is arguing that her idea is way over the top and they should just do a cute little cabin reminiscent of a villager house. Archer jumps in and says that deepslate bricks would probably look nice, and they could still do a cute little cabin and invest more of their resources into a nice underground base. Kay and Steve shrug and agree that that’s a good idea, and it’s back to the caves to get some deepslate.

While they’re exploring, Kay is awkwardly trying to shove her new diamond armor on while she walks, when suddenly they approach an ancient city. Steve says to tread carefully because they might spawn the warden. They start to explore, when Kay activates the first skulk shrieker. Kay freaks out, but Steve reassures her by saying that it takes three skulk shriekers being activated before the warden actually spawns. As the explore, Archer accidentally steps on the second shrieker, and not a moment later, Steve himself trips and sets off the third one. The group goes back and forth trying to determine “was that three? That couldn’t be three, right?” When the warden climbs up out of the ground and Archer quickly squeaks “yep, that was three!” before the group starts running in opposite directions. Alex yells that they have to avoid stepping on any more shriekers because multiple wardens can exist at the same time. Yada yada, they sneak around and attack the warden from all directions, and boom, warden defeated. They quickly exit the ancient city, grab the deepslate they need, and get the hell out of there.

Once they finish building their house, Steve mentions that he grabbed some obsidian before they left, so they can start their next adventure; navigating the nether. They build the portal, Alex gives them a quick overview of what they might run into while they’re exploring, and to stay close to them. They enter the nether and start out in a nether wastes biome, which causes both Steve and Alex to breathe a sigh of relief because the nether waste is arguably the easiest nether biome to survive in. Alex points to the nether gold ore on the walls and ground and tells them to mine it because they’ll need it for bartering with piglins and avoiding pissing the piglins off. Archer asks where they can find piglins, and Steve explains that they can sometimes be found in groups exploring the nether, but it’ll be easiest to find them in bastions, preferably treasure bastions because they have a lot of cool treasure.

After a bit of mining and exploring, they discover a treasure bastion, and Kay and Archer immediately run in, excited for all the treasure they’ll find. However, they immediately get approached by a piglin brute trying to kill them. Steve shouts and says he was trying to warn them about brutes, and Lay goes to take a swing at the brute. However, she soon realizes that she could probably get him to stop fighting by taking his axe. Therefore, that’s exactly what she does, albeit with a bit of struggling. The brute kind of does a double take, and looks at Kay with surprise and admiration. As a way to show his admiration, he begs to befriend the group, offering to help them navigate the bastion and get ender pearls. Kay asks if he has a name, he says no, and they decide to name him Ender. As promised, Ender helps them navigate the bastion, keeping other piglins and piglin brutes from attacking the group and helping them get gold, lodestones, soul speed enchanted books, and even some netherite, though he says that they’ll have to mine for some as well. Then, once they’re done, he leads them to a warped forest biome to get ender pearls. Archer asks why they didn’t just trade with piglins, and Ender explains that it’s not the most reliable method and could end up just being a major waste of gold. Alex gives them a quick debriefing about the fact that endermen attack people who make eye contact with them and that projectiles don’t work to fight them, so Archer will have to use his trident to do melee attacks. There’s a montage of them fighting the endermen, and soon, they have all the ender pearls they need.

Once they’re done killing endermen, Steve explains that they’ll need to go to a nether fortress in order to get blaze rods that will be turned into blaze powder. Ender offers to help them, and after a while of searching, they find a fortress. However, it’s in a soul sand valley, so Alex warns them that there will be more wither skeletons than normal and that they’re incredibly dangerous. Alex says that she can hold off the wither skeletons with her bow, and Archer says that he can help out with his crossbow. As they’re fighting Archer manages to get a wither skull, and Alex excitedly explains they’re pretty rare and if he can get three of them, they can spawn the wither, which is a difficult boss but will drop a nether star that they can use to build a beacon. Once they finish fighting, Archer explains to Kay and Steve what Alex explained to him. Kay excitedly announces that they should spawn it, and while Steve is a bit apprehensive at first, he agrees as long as they’re careful. So, they spawn the wither, almost die, Kay has a panic attack from almost dying, and they get the nether star! Once they’re finished, they leave the end, but sadly Ender can’t follow them because he’ll get zombified.

Since they had to build a new nether portal, they end up spawning pretty far away from their base, but Steve and Alex are able to figure out where they need to go. As they’re walking, Archer pulls out an ominous potion and says that he got it from that pillager patrol he got his crossbow from and asks what it does. Steve tries to explain that it will give him a bad omen effect that could spawn a raid if they go into a village. Not knowing the weight of that situation if it were to happen, he says that it sounds really cool and drinks it, conveniently just as they’re approaching a village. As they hear the loud sound of a horn, Steve quickly demands that they go into a house and set their spawn in one of the beds. Once they do that, they quickly run back outside to see pillagers approaching the village, as well as a bunch of villagers scrambling to get inside and two iron golems charging to attack. A little after the first wave, Archer find a pink sheep and affectionately names it curly, but Kay snaps that he can fawn over his new pet later and that they need to fight right now. About halfway through the raid, Kay is killed by a swarm of vexes, and that’s when the major twist is revealed. Alex lunges forward to grab Kay’s inventory, and through the window of one of the villager houses, she sees Kay hyperventilating and sobbing with her chest to her knees. Alex rushes inside to see what’s going on, tells Kay that she managed to grab most of her inventory other than some random seeds and mob drops like bones and gunpowder, then starts to comfort Kay. For a while, Kay is too distraught to speak, and after a moment, Steve and Archer finish the raid and rush in to check on Kay as well. Once they comfort her and tell her that everything is okay now, Kay reveals her big secret, aka the big twist of the story.

After a very emotional moment, the four start their final adventure- killing the Ender Dragon. There’s a quick little montage of them following the eyes of ender as they float through the sky, but just as they’re about to dig down to reach the stronghold, Herobrine spawns, ready to fight. Steve and Alex try to charge at him, but he blasts them back with a single lift of his arm because he’s just stupidly overpowered like that. Kay and Archer then try to attack him, but he blasts Archer back and physically pushes Kay back, asking if she was actually capable of helping defeat the Ender Dragon knowing her past in a sneerful tone. Kay is at a loss for words, but luckily, Archer is able to sneak behind him and blast him with a firework, which causes him to be disoriented and give Steve time to start slashing at him while Alex helps Kay up. Once Kay is up, the four of them attack Herobrine using a strategy similar to how they fought the Warden, and soon, he’s not dead, but he’s down and unable to fight. Kay steps on his chest and points her axe at him, telling him that this would be a good time to start begging for mercy. He obliges and starts begging, saying he’ll do anything to satisfy her. Kay says that he needs to give Ender the opportunity to travel to the overworld and that if he ever gives them trouble again, it’s on fucking sight if you know what I mean (she’s gonna kill him). Then, they dig down to the stronghold.

Once they reach the portal and activate it, Steve and Alex say that they’re gonna jump in and get a head start on getting rid of the end crystals, and that Kay and Archer can jump in whenever they’re ready. Standing at the edge of the portal, Kay takes a deep breath and Archer grabs her hand. He says “the end?” And Kay replies with a nod and says “the end.” In reference to the two Xbox achievements you get when you enter the end and kill the dragon. They enter the portal, and the final battle begins.

When they enter the portal, they see that Steve and Alex have just finished breaking the end crystals, and that the dragon is currently spewing acidic dragons breath at them. Over the roar of the dragon, Archer tells Kay that he’s gonna try and shoot the dragon with his crossbow while she needs to watch for it to perch so she can get some melee hits in. Once she starts doing it, Steve soon catches up to her and starts attacking the dragon as well. Soon, the dragon is at low enough health that one critical hit would be enough to kill her. The dragon perches, Steve steps aside and tells Kay to do the honors, and she finally kills the Ender Dragon for the first time in her life. Once they go through the portal to go home. Kay is faced with the end poem, which leaves Kay in tears by the end of it. Once she spawns back into the overworld, Archer asks her what’s wrong, which she responds to by saying that she’s fine and just thought the end poem was really beautiful.

Timeskip

As per any movie or tv show, there’s gonna be a timeskip at the end showing how everyone is doing since the action has settled down. In this case, the timeskip is 5000 days later (Minecraft days obvi). The base is much bigger and has multiple houses and farms. One of these houses is made of terracotta, implying that they eventually did explore that badlands biome. Alex is filling up a creeper hole in the distance, and Steve and Kay are sparring with netherite swords. Steve accidentally kills Kay, but luckily her inventory was empty so all that dropped was her sword. In a panic, Steve runs into the terracotta house to see if Kay is okay, and while she’s a bit shaken up and catching her breath, she’s a-ok. Suddenly, Archer bursts in, tightly clutching a rolled up map. Kay asks what it is, and Archer explains that there’s some sort of new structure called a trial chamber, and that he really wanted the two of them to explore it together. Kay and Steve both go outside, and Kay asks Steve and Alex if they’re coming with, and they both say that they can trust that Kay and Archer can handle themselves, and to just make sure that they remember to bring totems, shulker boxes, fireworks, and some nether quartz ore in case their elytra break on the way (there’s mending on their elytra so it’ll heal when they collect xp). Kay and Archer tightly hug Steve and Alex, and without thinking, they shout a quick “thanks mom, thanks dad!” Before running off in the direction the map is pointing in, which Steve and Alex are both beyond happy to hear.

The Twist

Disclaimer: skip to the post credits scene section if you don’t want spoilers

Anyway, the big twist is that this isn’t Kay’s first time in a Minecraft world, and that’s why she’s so much more experienced than Archer. She had a giant, beautiful base in a badlands biome, and she hadn’t been in a Minecraft world since the Nether Update. She was really proud of her world, and since she was in her netherite armor full time, that’s why her avatar had socks but not shoes. She died in the fight against the Ender Dragon, and the way she died she finds really embarrassing; she was standing too close to one of the end crystals when she blew it up and got blasted into the void. Since it was a hardcore world, she didn’t respawn and lost her world. From there, she kind of just floated around in a comatose state for who knows how long until she spawned into that world with Archer. Due to this past trauma, she craves adventure but is also extremely afraid of death, having a panic attack whenever her health drops down any lower than five hearts. Luckily, once she told everyone this secret of hers, they accepted her. This is also why Steve let her get the final hit on the dragon.

Post Credits Scene

So, the first part of the credits before the post credits scene is basically just a slideshow of the different voice actors and directors in the Minecraft font being listed, one name on each slide. The background of each slide shows the voice actors’ respective characters in some sort of action pose in various biomes (of course, Kay is gonna be in a badlands biome). Also, since I feel like we can’t have a Minecraft movie without it, this part of the credits is gonna be paired with Don’t Mine At Night as the song.

One day, the four of them wake up with their gamer tags above their heads. Steve explains what’s happening, but is also kind of confused on why it’s happening just out of the blue. Since Steve and Alex are npc’s in this world, their gamer tags are just Steve and Alex. Kay and Archer on the other hand… their gamer tags are a bit more embarrassing (their gamer tags are in the second paragraph of the characters section). Of course, they start laughing at each other, and at the same time are both trying to defend themselves. Soon this ends up in them getting into a physical altercation, and Alex separates them, telling them to calm down. One of them says “yeah, calm down *gamer tag*” which triggers the other to lunge at them, and it cuts to the rest of the credits.

The rest of the credits is just like any other list of credits, and it will have pigstep by Lena Raine playing.

Be sure to give me any opinions or feedback! I really wanna know how you guys feel about my version of the Minecraft movie! Thanks for reading!

[yumeka36]

Black Myth Wukong

I finally finished my (mostly) all-bosses playthrough of Black Myth Wukong. Since a lot of my favorite streamers were playing it, and it looked intriguing from the trailer, I wanted to give it a try once I had my fill of the Elden Ring DLC. It took me a month to beat the game (I only had time to play about 2-3 hours a day).

Overall, I enjoyed the game immensely. Give me a game with really cool and creative monster designs, plus pretty, scenic areas to explore, and I'm happy! The combat is really fun too - the mix of spells, melee attacks, transformations, stance styles, etc, gives you such a variety of ways to play. Plus the fact that you can respec anytime removes the pressure of committing to one build. But honestly, I kinda stuck with the same build the whole game, lol. I focused most of my skill points on health, defense, attack, Immobilize, and Pluck of Many, as well as putting all my Mind Cores into the same, plus mana. This got me through basically all of the game with relative ease. Actually, either I got overpowered or the game wasn't that difficult for me, since by mid-chapter 2, almost every boss was a first or second try victory for me. Only exceptions were the Loongs and few chapter finale bosses and secret area bosses who took a few tries more. Then there was Erlang, who took me at least 30+ tries over 3 hours and was one of the hardest bosses I've fought in any game (coming from someone who's fought every boss in Elden Ring, Sekiro, Bloodborne, and the Dark Souls trilogy). So yeah, don't want to see that guy again anytime soon.

The only time I respeced a bit was to put more points into four banes resistance against Erlang. But I was also dumb and didn't realize there was a Drink to restore Qi, which was what I really needed to get rid of his shields with the fan vessel. But I still died a few times even after figuring this out, so I think he's just a really difficult boss.

While I enjoyed the heck out of the gameplay, unfortunately I couldn't follow the story/lore well at all. Obviously this is because I know close to nothing about Journey to the West or Chinese mythology. So while I understood the basic premise of finding Wukong's relics throughout the land, everything else as far as who the characters were, what their relationship is to Wukong and each other, and why they're doing what they're doing, was totally lost to me. Even after watching a "story explained" video, it's very clear that the game is a true sequel to Journey to the West, and you're guaranteed to be lost about most things if you haven't read the book. But the fact that I still enjoyed the game despite this just shows how fun it is. If I enjoy the gameplay mechanics, not being able to follow the story isn't that big a deal to me. Also, the animated music videos between each chapter were amazing. My favorite is the one for chapter 3, which was so well choreographed but also deliciously horrifying.

Like I do with most games, I wanted to make sure I beat every boss and explored every area the game had to offer. But I also didn't want to follow a walkthrough religiously either (which is something I did in my early days of gaming with the Dark Souls games). Other than look up a boss list and where to find them, I played the game mostly blind until around chapter 4. I was upset when I realized I had missed key things in chapter 3, which was being able to fight the Apramana Bat and Rat Captain bosses, as well as attain the Auspicious Lantern curio from the Lantern Wardens (I did fight a couple of them, but then decided to avoid them once I got yeeted off the cliff, lol). So from that point on I carefully checked IGN's walkthrough as I explored each area. Thankfully those were the only two bosses I missed during the rest of my playthrough. But damn, does this game have so many hidden secrets! I can't imagine anyone finding all the bosses/secret areas without looking it up online.

I guess that's one complaint I have about the game...maybe the secrets are too secret? Like I said, I don't know how a player is expected to figure some of these things out if playing normally. Maybe some more hinting about how to access the secret bosses and areas would have been nice, even if it's just some NPC dialogue or more elaborate item descriptions. I also don't like that they hid an essential thing like armor upgrades behind a questline that's so easily missable. A couple other minor issues I had were forcing cutscenes in the middle of fights and your character being way too prone to stagger with few ways to increase Tenacity, resulting in many wasted mana and focus point attacks (why is Tenacity not part of the skill tree?) But again, these were just minor issues and took little away from my overall enjoyment.

So yeah, I highly recommend Black Myth Wukong if you like fantasy adventure games focused on boss battles and various combat styles.

[coramatus]

Black Reshiram AU - part 2

I wrote more to this angst train. Plz help.

Part 1

A few days pass. Emmet finds some peace in the knowledge that his brother is dead. He’s starting to work on a memorial service when there is a knock on the door.

Emmet finds a despondent Ingo on his doorstep.

Looking at Ingo, Emmet can see that he’s been through a lot. His dress is dirty and missing feathers, his long hair disheveled, and his eyes shadowed with guilt. Ingo doesn’t seem to know what to say.

So Emmet lets him in, inviting him to sit anywhere. Ingo does so, looking distinctly uncomfortable as Emmet prepares some coffee for the both of them.

When Ingo is handed his coffee, he’s surprised to find it prepared just the way he likes it (sugary and pale with creamer). Emmet smiles sadly, he guessed it would be the same as his brother’s. Ingo goes quiet at this.

For a long moment, the two sit there in uncomfortable silence.

Then Emmet asks if Ingo is alright. Ingo is quiet for a long time before answering in a soft pained voice that he is not. He got into a fight with his parent. Their first genuine fight.

In the time since Ingo last spoke to Emmet, he’s been doing a lot of soul-searching. He researched his past life as both Subway Boss Ingo and Warden Ingo, trying to understand who they were even if ostensibly all three of them are the same person.

But the very last thing Ingo wanted to do was to seek out his parent and demand answers. He loves his parent! They raised him from an egg! They taught him everything! He owes his life to them.

And yet as the Dragon of Truth, why did they never directly tell him he was the reincarnation of a man displaced in time? He too can sense lies, but lies of omission can slip by. Had his parent withheld some part of the truth?

The questions continuously eat away at Ingo until he finally cracks and hunts down his parent.

(Not sure what Reshiram would be up to after the events of BW2. Released? Still hanging around with protagonists? Chilling with N? Return to rock mode? I’m going with: got released for AU purposes)

Until that point, Ingo had been trying to avoid his parent in an eager attempt to prove that he was a self-sufficient adult dragon and didn’t need their help anymore. So Reshiram is quite surprised when a visibly upset Ingo in human form tracks them down, insisting that he needs answers. Worried, but happy to see their son again, they oblige.

Ingo gets straight to the point and tells his parent that he got his human memories back. He’s not sure what their reaction will be, but he doesn’t anticipate Reshiram visibly perking up, pleased to hear that those finally kicked back in.

Ingo is stunned and baffled at this. That’s it? They knew this was going to happen this whole time? Why didn’t they warn him?!

Reshiram seems confused. They thought Ingo would be happy to have that part of him back. Now he can carry on where he left off now that he’s in his proper time period.

But Ingo vehemently disagrees. That’s not how this feels to him.

“All you did was replace him with me!” Ingo snaps harshly. He looks up at Reshiram accusingly, “I have his memories but that Ingo is gone.”

“You are still Ingo,” Reshiram calmly reassures him, “Be it of the past or of now, they are both you. Your soul remains the same.”

Tears of frustration prick at Ingo’s eyes as he shouts up to his parent, “You don’t get it! I’m not the same as him. I didn’t live his life and he didn’t live mine. We can’t be the same person! We’re not even the same species! I’m a dragon for Arceus’s sake!!”

Reshiram is taken aback by this. Ingo has never raised his voice in this much genuine anger before. Concerned for their child, they try to reassure him,

“I thought it was an elegant solution at the time. We would both get what we wanted. I would have a child and you would live to see your proper time again.”

This just upsets Ingo even more and he demands to know why would a Legendary want a child to begin with??

Knowing this would come up eventually, Reshiram admits that they spent centuries longing for a child to raise as their own. A desire born out of simple loneliness. Though they have a sibling in Zekrom, they both split from the Original Dragon for a reason and generally keep apart. Few others can ever hope to provide a close-knit, long-term bond when a Legendary’s lifespan runs into the tens of thousands of years.

But to have a child?

Then they have someone to nurture, an individual to focus their energy into for the rest of their long lives. They would never have to be lonely again.

But Legends like them cannot reproduce on their own. They have to be granted special permission to circumvent this. Reshiram had only just received Arceus’s blessing to take in a lost soul as their own when the original Ingo’s plea came through. To Reshiram, if a doomed, time-displaced human was willing to take on that role, they weren’t going to question it.

Ingo is left devastated. He feels taken advantage of, like he’s little more than a plaything. An entire life thrown away just so a powerful being can play at parenthood.

Reshiram argues that wasn’t the case, this was never some game to them. They love Ingo with all their heart; they’ve only ever wanted the best for him.

Ingo then asks why past-Ingo wasn’t allowed to go home. If Reshiram picked someone else, could that Ingo have simply gone back to his proper time instead of becoming him?

To this, Reshiram grows quiet as Ingo’s point finally seems to dawn on them. They’re genuinely uncertain, but as they think about it… they admit that Ingo might have had a decent chance of going home if Reshiram had chosen literally anyone else.

Hearing this, Ingo loses it.

In a fit of rage, he shifts to his true form and attacks his parent. Both dragons tussle in a roaring, snarling fight as they bite and claw at each other. But Reshiram is millennia old and easily wrestles their child to the ground, pinning Ingo down. Ingo thrashes and roars to no avail. His parent is heartbroken that it came to this. They love their child and they believed that Ingo would understand their choices were all made for his sake.

Laying on the ground, Ingo’s emotions have nowhere else to go. He howls in anguish as he breaks down crying. He is in so much turmoil that he shifts back to his human form. His parent solemnly releases him and watches him sadly as his small, crumpled body lays there sobbing brokenly.

With a regretful sigh, Reshiram shifts to his human form, crouching down to speak to his son,

“Ingo?”

“…why?” Ingo whimpers, his words muffled with his face buried in his arms. “Why him? Why me?”

Reshiram doesn’t immediately answer, taking a moment to think through his words. When he finally speaks, he sounds hesitant admitting,

“I saw something special in you, Ingo. I still do. There is a beautiful flame that burns in you. One that I do not wish to see snuffed out. If I simply let you be, you would likely die a mortal death no matter where you went. And then that fire would truly be lost.”

“So you just had to be a selfish asshole about it,” Ingo spits at him, “That wasn’t your decision to make!”

Reshiram winces, “Ingo…”

“How could you?! Did you even think about what this would do to me?! To him??” Ingo shouts, the pain in his voice ringing far too clearly. He turns away, his breath hitching with a sob, “This wasn’t fair…”

His parent’s normally stern, placid face now dawns with growing shame, “I am starting to see that now… Let me at least try to—”

“No. Just, stop. You’ve done enough…” Ingo chokes out. He can’t even bear to look at his parent anymore, purposefully keeping his back to him, “I don’t ever want to see you again. Please, just go…”

Reshiram is left stunned. And yet the Truth in Ingo’s words is undeniable.

He has no choice but to respect it.

He starts to reach out to Ingo’s shoulder, but stops, thinking better of it. He collects himself and gets up to leave. Before returning to his true form, Reshiram turns to Ingo one last time, regret weighing heavily on his voice,

“For what it’s worth… I am sorry, Ingo. I love you.”

Ingo doesn’t look back at him. Choking on his sobs, he hoarsely whimpers, “I love you too…”

There’s a gust from a mighty flap of wings and a mournful roar as Reshiram flies away, leaving Ingo to deal with the fallout alone.

Ingo cries as he finishes relating his story. His heart is broken and so is his trust in his parent. He has never felt more lost.

Emmet wordlessly hugs Ingo, who clings to Emmet like a lifeline. Ingo feels like he’s drowning, his emotions eating him alive.

They stay like that for a long time as Ingo gradually calms down.

Wanting a distraction, he quietly asks Emmet if he could tell him what his brother was like. Emmet understands what he’s asking for and gladly tells him of his experiences with his brother. How he was a passionate battler, one of the best trainers he’s ever known, a diligent subway manager, always better at filling out paperwork and working out logistical problems, but most importantly that he was a devoted older sibling, always there for him when he needed it and perfectly in-tune with each other.

Ingo listens quietly, simply letting Emmet’s words wash over him as he builds a better picture of who he once was. The sheer passion with which Emmet speaks in spite of his monotone inflection tells Ingo so much about their former relationship.

…the old Ingo deserved to come back home as he was. He deserved so much more than to be nothing but a memory of a past life.

All of a sudden, Ingo can’t take it anymore and hurriedly opts to leave. He quickly excuses himself, hiding his tears for Emmet’s brother.

But before Ingo can escape, Emmet stops him. He hands Ingo Chandelure’s ball, telling him she’ll be happy to see him again. Ingo is hesitant to take it but Emmet presses the Pokéball into his hands. He thinks Ingo could use some company right now.

Unable to argue against this, Ingo quietly accepts the Pokéball. He thanks Emmet and makes his way out, cradling the ball with the utmost care.

Emmet watches Ingo until he’s fully out of view. When he closes the door, he hits it backfirst and slides down against it, crumpling to the floor. Burying his face in his arms, Emmet screams.

He doesn’t know what else to do.

Part 3??

[deusexlachina]

Wannabe Warden Part 15: Defeat the Qunari with their/my own medicine and also drugs

In which I fight the most infamous battle on the highest difficulty level and am forced to actually come up with a good strategy.

Just then, Isabela shows up to save her girlfriend from being mashed. She gives the Tome of Koslun back to the Arishok. Finally, they can leave! As long as they also get the thief. Who is my girlfriend. I tell him he's already got what he came for, but the Arishok was assigned to be a general, not a compromiser, so we're at a standstill and the best solution he can think of is to duel me for the girl. Isabela objects because she is literally a duelist and holy shit is he stealing her thunder right now.

But I alone have the Arishok's respect, so it's time to duel him. He's incredibly tough and has deadlier moves than me. Everything says I will lose. But I've got a secret weapon. Back when I was dealing with the saar-qamek gas leak, I gave Other Aveline a weapon called Desdemona's Blade, a purchase from the Black Emporium just for that fight, since Fenris won't wield wimpy one-handers and only Other Aveline can decree the poison gas safe. Ole Double-D here deals nature damage because it's covered with poison or something idk.

The damage looks low, but elemental weapons ignore armour, and against enemies weak to nature damage, it does double damage. This is immensely helpful against every fight with mercenaries, such as the saar-qamek fight, since they're vulnerable to nature. It turns out, so is every single Qunari. I bought this weapon to deal with enemies trying to kill Qunari and now I'm forced to kill Qunari with it myself. I would appreciate the irony, but I'm too busy soloing the Qunari army after they wiped out my entire squad. Practice self-care. Get Desdemona's Blade.

It is almost unanimous among the DA2 fandom that this fight is next to impossible as a warrior. It is also nearly unanimous that Sword and Shield is bad and so is Pommel Strike. For some reason, they haven't seemed to realize that this fight is hard precisely because they refuse to use shields or, uh, pommels. Along with Cleave doubling my damage again, and a high critical hit rate from other gear, Double-D can do enough damage to slightly interrupt the Arishok, meaning more fighting and less running. Assault deals even more damage and interrupts him even more - with equal DPS, Assault beats any 2-handed talent for single-target damage. And I'm not doing equal DPS, I'm doing more DPS, because I have Desdemona's Phucking Sword.

Even the shield itself helps a great deal. With a shield, Courage (stuffed with armour runes like everything else I'm wearing) I take substantially less damage, which also means less force, i.e. I don't get ragdolled. Without a shield, I get thrown around the room, even getting stuck behind this Qunari beefcake. The indignity.

Pommel Strike is a warrior move where, instead of hitting the enemy with the business end of your blade, you cleverly surprise them by hitting them with the much less dangerous pommel. This is so stupid that it stuns them for several seconds. This disrupts most of the nastiest threats in the game - it shuts down commander auras, stops mages from using their nastiest attacks, and keeps rogues from stealthing. And it works on the Arishok. He sometimes resists it, but if he doesn't, he's helpless for several seconds, and by the time he's done wiggling around I've nearly got another Pommel Strike waiting for him.

But there's one truly cruel thing about the Arishok fight. Even if you're winning against him, he will...you might want to sit down for this. He will drink a potion and heal himself. Apparently he can do this up to three times, but I can't confirm this because anytime the fight lasted that long I either died or went into a fugue state as I kited him for like half an hour. "But Aveline!" you might say. "You use potions all the time, especially in boss fights. Why is it so obnoxious when they do it?" Because the boss is an NPC. They don't have to actually experience the horror of nearly winning before their enemy unilaterally decides to not die and make the fight even longer.

But my respect wasn't just to Sword-and-Shield and Pommel Strike, which, to remind you, nearly everyone says are horrible. To further spite the Wrong Dragon Age Community, I unilaterally decide to join the Templars, which is also supposed to be the worst specialization, and even the wiki thinks you should spec out of it for this fight. Yes, that means using deadly and addictive lyrium. But I'm just using it to get out of a rough patch, and I'll simply stop using it when things get easier. (THIS IS A VERY BAD IDEA. NEVER THINK THIS FOR ANY DRUG -ed.). Being a templar lets Silence the Arishok, which can lock him out of his abilities. This seems to include the potions, giving him effectively less health. This is one of the only times in a game the boss tries to use a potion and I can Just Say No, which I probably should be saying to addictive drugs but I am not. It also makes him glow white, which is pretty embarrassing.

Oh, and it also gives me another source of stun. The fight's starting to look even, but I have one last trick that makes it unfair in my own favour. The Qunari disguised deadly poison as explosives, killing civilians, forcing me to nearly get killed by deadly mercenaries and, worst of all, I had to use Other Aveline. To repay them, I hire my poisoner to make Combustion Grenades - explosives, not poison gas. These deal fire damage, which he's completely immune to, because he's from a hot country I guess. But he's very much not immune to the stun, perhaps because using fire on a fireproof man is stunningly stupid. I bring ten of these and don't even manage to use half before I've killed him. I probably didn't need them at all, but you can never be too careful.

With the Arishok dead, the City of Kirkwall proclaims me worthy. (And when I say the City of Kirkwall, I mean this milf with a crown, but the Viscount got killed so she's now the most important lady) My heart soaring, I await to be finally dubbed a Grey Warden for saving the Grey Wardens from almost certain death at the hands of the Qunari (and, indirectly, Other Aveline). Instead, I just get the Title "Champion of Kirkwall."

GOD

FUCKIN

DAMMIT

[commanderx-ray]

I'm out resolving a petty dispute between Cargo and Space Clowns when it happens. Code Epsilon is declared and the station is plunged into anarchy. Watching the station get closer and closer from the colorful windows of the clown shuttle, I start asking myself why I didn't take retirement when I had the chance.

You see,unbeknownst to me, my fellow Commanders had been tasked by Central Command to take care of a 'extremely dangerous and rare clown artifact'. No one told me shit. Why? No fucking clue. Turns out the damn thing went missing shortly after, and to preserve themselves from Honkmother's Wrath, High Command declared Termination on us all. Comms are filled to the brim with people cursing the Captain out, greytiders declaring war on eachother and on the incoming deathsquad, and my Security Team desperately trying to hold everything together. With zero input from the rest of Command, I entrust my Warden with arming the team up. The guns weren't really going to do shit against what was coming, but that's not why I ordered them to arm up. The second order I gave out was to hand every stun, disabler and non lethals out to the crew.

A little bit of a powermove, yeah, but I figured we should at least give them a good fight before dying like the corporate tools we are.

The QM urges the clown pilot to head for the Automated Trade Station, and he happily obliges, foreseeing a lot of guns coming into his grubby little hands. I care little for the weapons—something the Quartermaster didn't understand. I take this opportunity while the cargonians arm themselves (and the clown) up, to talk with the Salvage Team and plan a rendezvous.

Soon we had a ragtag squad of cargonians, clowns and salvagers and made for the station, in hopes of rescuing more people and making it out. Well, that was their hope. My hope was to secure the nuclear disk and attempt to save my team before it all went to Hell. Despite my warnings and predictions, they were all confident in standing up against the Deathsquad. It was a bloodbath. The high-powered lasers cut through the Salvaging hardsuits like a sickle through a field. Bullets pinged off the black-and-red armor like small pebbles.

It was cowardly of me, but I left them to their deaths. Cold I may be, but if I were to die fighting alongside doomed fools let it be my own team. Communications were down, so it remained to be seen whether or not they had met their fate. Blood painted the station tiles and bodies were half-heartedly piled up, lizards, dwarves, humans and moths alike. There was a single corpse wearing the all-too familiar jumpsuit of the Deathsquad. An humorless smirk forms in my face. Someone got lucky.

I'm soon pinned down by a hail of blue laserfire, the smell of melting steel permeating the air. In my guilt, I lent my disabler to the Quartermaster before leaving him to his fate. Making my peace with my soon-to-be death, my stunbaton crackles to life in my hands and I leap out of cover to charge the exterminator. Behind him, another turns the corner and takes in the sight of me charging him. Whatever part of his brain that wasn't lobotomized by corporate doctrine decided that honor should dictate his actions, and he pulled out an energy sword to meet my baton instead of gunning me down.

We never clashed. His teammate let loose a barrage of disabler beams from a Security Issued Disabler SMG and incapacitated him. I look to my saviour to see the hardsuit helmet retract, and meet the eyes of my Warden. "Good to see you, boss."

From there, it was a blur of slipping past patrols and quietly killing off those we could. Activating the Nuke was easy once we got our hands on the code and the disk.

It wasn't a total victory for the company, that day. They've might annhilated the crew but the complete loss of their operatives and their gear was a hard blow, to be sure.

So that's why we're joining the Gorlex Marauders.

[legend-the-dumb-jock]

Prison break….in…..

Neal was just in the midst of finishing up the most recent report of violent crimes happening in the prison he was employed at when he was called into the wardens office. “Neal. We have an idea. But it’s going to require a volunteer and we was wondering if you would be interested in it…”. Neal was always looking for a way to prove himself to his boss. He wanted to make sure his boss knew he could take on anything. And that he was ready for his job description to change to something g more. Something with more power. Neal eagerly volunteered without even knowing what it was for and his boss smiled. “Well I thought you’d say that. But I want you to know what it is. The stipulations behind everything. The time frame…..”. The warden told Neal about the plan to figure out the root cause of all the violent crimes. They needed someone to go into the system under cover. “We will fabricate a record and everything for you. Even help you look like one of them. We only need you to do this for a few days as we know how your analytical skills are. Ou will find them in no time. Then when it’s done. We will yank you out. And pull you right back here. Doing this is sure to help you get that promotion you have been wanting !” That was all Neal needed to sign the dotted line agreeing to his voluntary service.

That afternoon he was escorted by two of the prison security guards to an off site facility. When he got there he was ushered into the building quickly so as to not be seen. In the building he was ushered from one room to the next. First room was to shave his head. Now bald he felt cooler than he was before and shivered slightly. In the next room he was given a list of routines he needed to make sure he completed. Courtyard scan. Cafeteria scan. When to report his findings and how. And when to signal then to have them pull him out of the system. The next room he went to was another modification room. Stencils were brought out with immaculate designs. The men I white coats told him that these would look like real tattoos and wouldn’t wash away so easily in the showers. They had been specially formulated so they would need a special solvent made by the scientist to remove the temporary designs. While they did this another man in a suit informed him of what his new identity would be. Francois Carter. Grant theft larceny along with possession with intent to distribute. Sentence for 10 years. “Remember these details. As we have to make sure this is believable to make this infiltration Work !” On the back there were computer programmers hacking the systems. Building the profile for Francois. More are sold were added this time giving the looks of scarification from fights. An I’ve was ran with hormone boosters. The drs telling him this was just to make him get a little bigger looking but could be counteracted with another serum they had. When it was all done Neal didn’t feel any different. He was handed an orange jumpsuit. Some white socks and some orange crocs. Inmate 267513 printed in the back in big thick black letters. He got dressed in his costume for this infiltration and was led to a wall where his offices mugshot was taken. And then loaded to the system to go along with his profile. Finger prints and everything was matched to go along with new identity. And everything about Neal was placed in a folder under lock and key for protection.

Neal was then put in shackles and handcuffs. And led back out to the van that he arrived in. “Remember Neal. Eyes and ears open. We have also added some medication to your prison roster. It’s for anxiety to help you remain calm”. Thanksgiving Neal got into the can and repeated his new story to himself. Remember every little detail. It wasn’t long before he arrived at the prison. He was surprised when the guards were being rough with him. Pushing him around. He started to get Angry when the guard whispered “come on make this believable !” Neal got up in the guards face abs started shouted at them. Then winked and the guards grinned. They led him to his cell. And that’s where Neal was left for the night. Alone.

Over then next few days he slipped information to the guards. Tell them what was going on. He was getting really close to the source of the issues in the prison and that didn’t go unnoticed. What Neal failed to uncover was Anthony Beneducci was the son of a powerful leader in the underground crime world. In his phone calls with his father he told his father about the things that was happening. “All my sources here are getting found. I need back up!”

Neal found out within a day that Anthony was the source behind all the issues. He was tattooed and always walked around in a muscle shirt acting bad and like he owned everything. Neal gave this last bit of info to the guard and gave him the word to pull the string on the operation. He was ready to come out. Neal went back to his food at the table. He was tired of the mush that they fed them there. The medicine helped keep him calm just like the drs said. But he was ready to come out. Got rid of the tats. Go back to his old life. There was a lot of loud banging that was heard that rang through the prison. The lights went red and everyone was told to go back to their cell. Neal was panicked and didn’t know why to do. The normal guard he spoke to wasn’t anywhere to be seen and then a guard appeared behind him “TO YOUR CELL INMATE!” He was forced back to his cell where the door was locked. Neal remained calm and just kept telling himself he had to wait for them to come and pull him out. This has to be part of the mission. Cause a scene. That way it’s easier to pull him out. Only it didn’t comes.

The next day when everything opened back up he couldn’t find the guard he gave information to. And all the guards seemed to be different. He took his normal meds to help him stay calm. Then that afternoon a guard came to his cell “warden wants to talk to you ! Now !” He was led to the wardens off where he seen what looked like bullet splatter on the walls. When he sat down in the chair across from the wardens desk. As the food close he heard a lighter click and smell of cigar smoke. Turning around in the chair was not the warden that he was speaking with just days before. “Hello. My name is curt. You will me warden. I will be taking over from where the last warden left off. I see that your name is Francois. I expect we will not have any issues from you. Am I clear ?” Neal was shocked. He attempted to tell the warden about the project. But the man just laughed. “You think I’m an idiot ? No one would sign up for a silly thing like that without backup plans in case something happened. Jeez you criminals get dumber and dumber each year. We will have a lot of time to talk to each other about your delusions I’m sure.” Neal was taken out of the office kicking and screaming. He wanted to be free. The project was over !! And the curt just laughed at him. What Neal didn’t know was that curt was actually Anthony’s brother. And he knew all about the project. But no one else at the prison did except for a couple of the guards were part of the mafia. All dedicated to keeping Neal where he was at. It wasn’t even hard for them to find the file on Neal. Man’s destroying it making Neal disappear and Francois a real person. With a little bit of hacking Neal never existed to begin and there was only ever Francois. The criminal. And as an added punishment they found the file on the medications Francois was taking to keep him calm. Changing the dosage and adding more to it they were able to get him OrAl steroids. Bulking him up against his will. Increasing his anger and aggression. More ways to open hi m up for punishments for acting out. And they would even force the medication on him when he refused.

After a couple months curt sat in his office and looked out over the court yard. Watching his criminal creation. Francois was still adamant that he wasn’t who he said he was. But that didn’t matter. He had Francois evaluated and declared psychotic with his delusions. He would be here a long time. Stuck in a prisoner contract that he signed.

November 21st, 2021 10:34pm prison break male transformation

[damez1979]

Jacob's Final Showdown in Black Iron Prison | The Callisto Protocol: Tower

[hanasnx]

indy!!

i played harley quinn, batgirl, and red hood dlc missions. I loved red hood because it was just different from the rest of the game. (also bc i trapped black mask in the corner and beat the shit out of him)

i also completed all the dlc missions with bats. my fav was def the mr freeze mission. i love the ending and how it perfectly ends their story.

killer croc comes in second because i got to see my dickie!!!! <3 but not much substance

league of assassins and then mad hatter. i think the mad hatter mission from arkham city was much more fun…

that’s all for now, lots of love

-🍓

the harley quinn one was the hardest for me to adapt too but stylistically i rly enjoyed it. the red hood one was definitely a top fave of mine, bcos you got to shoot ppl fr and also his dialogue was so hot.

the mr freeze one was really sweet, but the killer croc one is my favorite by far. everything about it aesthetically to the design to the message. i think about it all the time. the way they mutated croc’s appearance based on the fact the warden kept cutting pieces of him away, forcing his body overcompensate to a grotesque degree was fascinating. the fact the villain of that story was the warden, and batman was on croc’s side for the most part. how batman advocated for the warden to be locked aside the person he called a monster. everything about it i wanna sink my teeth into. it was a very rare side of batman that we got to see a situation in which he got to show the audience how fair and just he really is. also the croc boss fight is one of the most dynamic boss fights of the series, very satisfying, gorgeous visuals. they did a great job

i think using the mad hatter as an ode to past arkham projects was really sweet, and fighting thugs from past games inside the style and flow of arkham knight was rly cool for me.

thanks for the update as always :)

[ceoofdestructix]

🥀BLACK ROSE INSURGENCE🥀 (SONIC OC LORE)

"For Mobians, for Freedom"

Organization Stats:

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral;

Location: Various bases across Mobius (Prime Zone, Moebius, Sol Dimension, etc);

Principles: Anarchism, Anti-Authority, Mutualism;

Leadership: ████████

Known members: Ursula, Bjorn, Brienne, Kashima, May-Day, Marina, Jack, Zofia, Clarice, Malika, Lakeesha, Eshe (BRI Squat n⁰ 224);

Allies: Temporary associations with other groups

Enemies: Eggman Empire and the Egg Bosses, Dark Legion, Battle Bird Armada, Eggman N., Ixis Naugus, Kingdom of Acorn, Mammoth Mogul, King Maxx, Suppression Squad, Zone Cops (Warden Zobotnik and Zonic)

History: The Black Rose Insurgence (BRI) is a multidimensional organization whose goal is to unite all zones and dimensions, without fears of being dominated by an evil force, and without barriers/frontiers. They want to empower all mobians, and make them strong enough to fight against any threat (e.g: Eggman Empire).

The BRI has hideouts and members located in various locations and zones. However, it's really difficult for the members to meet in person, since the organization has no access to teleportation technology nor Warp Rings, so members need to plan their meetings really carefully (crossing the Cosmic Interstate is quite a challenge).

The BRI doesn't see Sonic/Freedom Fighters/Resistance as enemies, but they don't (and won't) rely on these groups to reach their goal. Both the BRI and Sonic have distinct objectives, but they often cross paths.

Operational Tactics: the minds behind the BRI prefer to remain anonymous, but most of the members wear their symbol on the back of their suits/jackets. The BRI has a principle of acting in the shadows, by using hacking and espionage techniques to not only trespass the Cosmic Interstate silently, but also to study their enemies' weak spots and know when and how to defend themselves against them.

Organization Principles: the BRI's policy to function is based on mutual trust by all the members and therefore, doesn't require any specific rules, and the members are quite free to live their everyday lives (there's no "loyalty oath", you just have to have common sense).

BRI Squats: Squats are small hidden settlements/HQs oxcupied by members of the BRI. They can be any type of structure (abandoned buildings, hostels, self-made headquarters, etc). Because BRI's main form of communication is by encrypted online devices, these squats receive a random number/code (it doesn't necessarily follow a numeric order).

BRI Squad n⁰ 224: under Ursula’s responsibility, this squat is hidden somewhere in the Prime Zone. After escaping Zone Jail (during the events of "Scourge Lockdown"), Ursula, alongside Bjorn and Brienne, decided to go to the Prime Zone and settle the Squat next to their friends/acquaintaces.

[stangevoice-p-audax-bryantae]

Spidecember Day 14

Character: The Contessa

Series: Sly Cooper

Species: Unstated, Implied Black widow (Latrodectus?)

Anatomical accuracy: 1/10

Weird, she kind of looks like me.

The Contessa is one of the antagonists of Sly 2: Band of Thieves. Initially introduced as a member of INTERPOL, she's the warden of a prison used to rehabilitate criminals via hypnotism.

Later on, she's revealed to be working with the Klaww gang- a group of criminals distributing "Spice", a substance that causes increased rage and violence in those who consumed it.

For her species- It's never outright stated, but with her hourglass markings and her husband's mysterious death, they were likely going for a widow.

Unspecified Latrodectus as usual.

What's funny is that the sexual cannibalism noted in widow spiders is- for the most part- not something that occurs naturally. Captive specimens under stress from observation will eat the males after reproduction, but in the wild most species' males will "clean up" after themselves, making it harder for new suitors to visit the female. Beneficial for both parties.

Of course, an anthro spider is free to kill without all that baggage.

We are changing topics.

The Contessa's double crossing is eventually revealed, and she is arrested after her boss fight.

However, her fate afterwards is revealed during the credits.

Good for her.

Ending this off before Sacrifice starts acting unwise.

FINAL THOUGHTS

She's quite enjoyable, and a fun stylization of a spider.

7/10

[balanceater]

My OC Archie Dirkorte

I've decided that my OC Archie Dirkorte is an Inhabitant, so here are some facts about what would happen in his Chapter.

His Chapter title is called The Tagger Who Desires Artistic Freedom. The outside of it would have a stained-glass window with the number 15 on it. It would have a dark vermillion background with spots of multicolored graffiti spots on it. There is also a white wall that has a bunch of big multi-colored hearts and some spray paint cans leaning against it.

The inside of his Chapter takes place in what appears to be a place similar to a prison. Some of the cells have what appear to be some of Archie's memories spray painted on their walls and the bars are made of spray paint cans. There are some rotating platforms you would need to use to get to the topmost floor, a few graffiti pieces you would need to finish with Street Artist and knock down some block-like obstacles with Creative Robot.

Archie's illusions will either say, "Hey.", sigh, or hum.

His Nega Boss is named Warden Kisall, which represents the resentment Archie has developed for his father due to thinking he would not allow him to do what he loved anymore and the criticism that other adults kept giving him about his art.

He is consisted of Street Artist, Spraypaint Shooter, Ink Holder, and Creative Robot.

In the novel, Archie does not take his respirator mask off until the aftermath of his Nega Boss fight.

After he is brought back to normal, Archie wakes up in his bedroom with his pajamas on. A knock on a door is heard and Archie's father, Mr. Dirkorte, walks in. Archie does not look at him as Mr. Dirkorte goes into his pocket and pulls out a folded-up piece of paper. He places it in front of Archie, and he picks it up. He unfolds it and his eyes widen. It is revealed to be a flyer for a graffiti art studio for people like Archie. Archie smiles and gets out of the bed to change into the same clothes he was wearing during the events of Balan Wonderworld. Once he's finished changing, he looks up and sees Balan in his mirror. Balan gives a thumbs up as he says,

"Remember to put all your heart into your art!"

Archie smiles as he puts his backpack on and follows his father out of his bedroom as the screen fades to black.

[bouncybrain]

HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

STEVE WOOL IN THE WOODLAND MANSIONS?? STEVE WOOL IN THE ANCIENT CITIES??

ANCIENT CITIES! TRIAL CHAMBERS! OCEAN MONUMENTS! STRONGHOLDS! END PORTALS! NETHER BONE PILES! NETHER FORTRESS! JUNGLE TEMPLE FOR FUCK SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!! (So abandoned, so forgotten.)

GIANT. WARDEN HEAD. IN CENTER. OF ANCIENT CITY.

END CITIES.

Like this was such a huge huge huge MASSIVE opportunity for them and they decided… nah we’re dropkicking Jack Black into the Minecraft world and also this sheep.

There are so many unique opportunities provided by the world they’ve already created within just the base game itself, but they’re completely ignoring that because… why?

Look. Watch. I’ll do it. I’ll ramble up some plot with the base game.

We start the story with of a group of friends stumbling on this weird, abandoned, underground maze of halls and cells and rooms, in one of which there is a strange frame suspended over a pool of lava, filled with… eyes. There’s a library here, too, so they go back and they go through the cobwebs and inch away from a spider and a skeleton, and they find a very strange recipe. It calls for an eye of the watcher and the dust of the inferno.

How weird! How strange! But these friends know there’s a creature that watches you from the trees and screams during the rain, or when they make eye contact with it. Very creepy, very weird, but it watches, and they kind of have to fight to survive while they explore this world of theirs, right?

Perhaps one of these friends realizes they’ve been carrying one of these eyes around for a while (there really aren’t a lot of uses for these, they thought, since throwing them just hurts a lot), and they go back to hold it up to the eyes in the frame… and they’re similar—not identical, but similar enough, and the old illustration matches the eyes in the frame.

And, watch this: we can split this into three movies for max profit milking. One for traveling around the Overworld in search of the “dust of the inferno,” during which they discover the purpose of those strange, crumbling obsidian structures surrounded by scorched earth. But, of course, this is a Minecraft movie. They go mining. Exploring abandoned mineshafts, and dungeons, perhaps a hint of a strange substance on the floor of a cave as they pass by in the search of obsidian. The children yearn for the mines, after all. Always have.

The end of the movie is, of course, entry to the Nether, perhaps following through the portal to a view of them stumbling out of the portal and into the Nether wastes, all the classic red and fire and distance-fog-because-the-Nether-is-beefy, cut to black with a distance, echoing ghast screech.

(Movie summary: a group of friends finds a strange portal in an abandoned stronghold, and discover a book with the key to opening the portal—but just how are they meant to do that when they only have half the materials?)

Movie two! Nether adventures! Piglins, zombie pigmen, hoglins, skeletons, striders, ancient debris, bastions, and the fortress. Trekking through the Nether biomes and marveling at the diversity in such a strange new place. A classic, slow, panning shot of them walking by large, strange rib bones sticking out of the ground far over their heads. Maybe bring back that big blaze guy from the early mob votes as the final boss! Then they can spend the falling action returning to the stronghold where… they craft the Eyes of Ender, place them in the frame, and stare down into the portal—because imagine how fucky they could make it.

(Movie summary: after finding their way into another dimension in search of rare materials, a group of friends sets out across the strange new lands to get their hands on what might just be a myth.)

Movie three! Ender exploration! Instead of dumping them out on an incredibly odd obsidian platform in on the main island, they’re dumped in the middle of a sprawling city! Cue fucking around in the End and a dragon fight. And then the movie of course ends with the End poem that transitions into the credits.

(Movie summary: having finally opened a mysterious portal within an abandoned stronghold, this group of friends set out across an alien landscape in search of a way home. They don’t expect what they find in their path.)

I’m tired so I got lazy but like. Just imagine. They wouldn’t even have to stick to the cuboid style if they were cowards didn’t want to. Imagine your favorite “enhanced visuals/textures” mods but without setting your poor computer on fire or sending it to the moon. Imagine exaggerated Enderman heights. Imagine a creeper actually creeping towards the group in the back of a shot, out-of-focus until it suddenly isn’t, and the classic hiss starts.

Also it’s not like they care too much for authenticity in their spin-offs so y’know what fuck it, put however many mobs in as you want! Maybe the end credits of the third movie can be the group getting spat out in an ancient city with ominous skulk sounds echoing in the dark!

Minecraft’s community has always been so, so creative. The devs are still coming up with new ways to expand and improve the game. Outside of games, though, things have been very stale. Oh, the movie is going to more than profit! Don’t get me wrong! But just because it’s a kid’s movie doesn’t mean they don’t deserve quality content, too.

I know it’s all been said but like. Fans of all skill levels have been making story worlds in Minecraft for years. It’s not that hard to just… make a story in the world of Minecraft.

They could have just watched the Game Theory videos about Minecraft if they couldn’t put the built-in lore together on their own in a cohesive enough manner so as to make a whole movie about it