#Billy West's voice for him is amazing. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tomblythismyhusband · 7 months ago

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bodyguard [billy the kid x fem!reader]

[summary]: billy the kid x fem!reader |anon request|Your father hired a bodyguard for you due to the increasing danger out west. You weren’t too fond of the idea but little did you know you’d be so drawn to your bodyguard…

[warnings]: 18+, MDNI, language, pnv, gagging kinda?, tension, keeping quiet

[wc]: 4.1k

[note]: thank you for requesting anon!!! this took me so long to finish for what reason???? idk.

You didn’t understand why your father wanted to hire a bodyguard for you, you thought you were fine on your own. Or at least that’s the lie you constantly told yourself.

Your father was John Tunstall, a wealthy rancher and merchant so he was a target for most outlaws. No one could ignore that the times were changing. Outlaws and bad men were more prominent in the West than ever before. Just last week you had overheard the news that a young girl had been kidnapped. The thought sent a shiver down your spine, picturing the tear splotched face of a young girl begging to be freed.

Deep down you understood why your father was so persistent with the whole body guard thing. You were his only daughter so the abundance of his protectiveness was fair.

“Y/N!”

You heard your father yell your name from downstairs. He probably had breakfast ready. You sat up from the bed you’d been so comfortably pondering in, fluffing the pillows before striding out of the bedroom. You were still in your night slip, you felt too groggy with morning tiredness to change. Coming down in your night clothes wasn’t out of the ordinary for breakfast anyways. Who were you trying to impress?

The sound of your fathers voice could be heard talking in the kitchen and you made your way towards it, but then you froze. Unexpectedly you heard another voice in reply. Your chest seized and you pressed yourself up against the wall next to the enterance of the kitchen.

It was another man’s voice, low, full of self assurance, smooth as whiskey. His voice washed over your senses, singing sweetly in your ears, making your heart thump a little faster. You didn’t know why the hell you were reacting like this but you did know that you’d probably need to change before meeting whoever this man was. Some might deem wearing just a nightdress was indecent.

You turned to leave quietly when your foot landed on a creaky floor board, which emitted a loud squeak that was painfully noticeable. You froze, foot still on the board as you listened intently to see if the man and your father had heard the noise.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Your fathers voice made you curse under your breath. Caught.

You moved shyly away from the wall and into the kitchen. Your father was standing, tall and stern, but something else caught your attention. Your eyes landed on the gorgeous man who sat at your breakfast table, leaning back lazily in his chair, hat set in front of him. His voice definitely matched his appearance. You only looked at him for a moment, eyes darting away as quickly as they met him. You knew staring was rude anyways.

“Hello father.” You said sweetly, moving over to him to plant a kiss on his cheek. You met his eyes and widened your own, almost like you were signaling to him that you wanted answers for why this mystery man was in your home at seven in the morning.

Your father cleared his throat, motioning an open palm towards the man who still sat at the table. “Y/N, I want you to meet Billy.”

Billy extended a hand out as he still lounged on a wooden kitchen chair. You moved a bit closer to reach his hand, shaking it gently.

“Pleasure to meet you sir. I apologize, I’m a bit underdressed.” You said shyly, looking into his eyes. You were amazed at how blue they were.

Billy’s lips quirked into a lopsided smile. “No worries ma’am.” His hand slid out of yours, the roughness of his hands leaving an empty feeling in their wake. His hand had felt so comfortable in yours. So warm, so inviting. You felt colder now, with your hands clasped in front of your torso.

“Your Pa here, Tunstall, has offered me the position to protect ya.” Billy said, sitting up straighter now. Your eyes widened and you turned to look at your father.

“Pa- What? I thought-“ Your father closed his eyes for a brief moment and waved a hand dismissively.

“We’ve talked about this Y/N. I wasn’t changing my mind.”

You opened your mouth to protest but knowing Billy’s eyes were on you, you decided to not fight it. Not now at least. Instead you nodded, mouth pulled into a frown.

“You won’t even know he’s there. Now, there’s something else I have to discuss so sit.” Your father went on, giving Billy a warm smile.

You rolled your eyes in annoyance, causing Billy to let out a quiet chuckle at your attitude.

Tunstall pulled out a chair and sat down, placing clasped hands on the wooden table. You did the same, trying to ignore the way your night slip’s thin straps kept falling off your shoulders. You felt Billy’s eyes on you as you adjusted it, your fingers dragging up your bare shoulder.

“Now.” Your father started. “I called you down Y/n so we could go over the rules that will be set in place with this arrangement.”

Your curiosity piqued. “Rules?”

Your father nodded, looking over at Billy. Billy was looking back at him so you took this opportunity to really study him.

His curly brown hair was rumpled on his forehead, probably from the hat he had been wearing. Faint freckles dotted his face, and his lips… so pink, so soft looking. You noticed how his lashes brushed the planes of his cheeks when he blinked, how his brows furrowed when he was thinking. He was art. Art that was rare to find out here in the west. God how you just wanted to run your hands all over his…. You were then broken out of your trance when your father spoke again.

“I want to make one thing clear. You should be professional. I don’t want.. any complications.” Billy nodded, seemingly understanding what he meant but you sat there slightly puzzled.

“Pa- What do you mean “complications”?”

Tunstall shifted in his seat, now turning his gaze to you.

“I mean- no funny business.” His eyes went between Billy and I. “No touching, no romantic involvement, none of it.”

Billy nodded immediately. “Yes sir. You can trust me. Not a finger will be laid on your daughter.”

Tunstall smiled. “Good. If I hear about any shenanigans, no matter who starts it,” He looked at you briefly as if reminding you that you're being held accountable as well..

“There will be consequences.”

Billy started working a few days later. It was awkward at first. You didn’t know what to say, what to do. I mean- how does one get used to someone following them around whenever they go out?

Going to the market? Billy’s there. Going to the salon? Billy. Stroll? Billy. The saloon? You know damn well Billy was there.

Sooner or later you began to feel more comfortable. Billy was actually very nice for a gunslinging cowboy with the potential to kill.

Two weeks had passed now and you both were sitting out under a tree on the ranch. You wanted some sun, it was beautiful out. Your back pressed up against the rough trunk as you fiddled with a book in your hands, flipping through the pages trying to find where you had left off. Billy was next to you, a chasm of space between you two, but still there.

You became engulfed in your book, reading silently for a few minutes until you heard the faint sound of snoring. Your eyes flicked up to look at the source of the sound, Billy.

You smiled softly to yourself at the sight. He looked peaceful. His arms were being his head, his body relaxed. Taking your foot, you nudged his leg with your boot.

He immediately jolted awake, blue eyes springing open looking for a possible danger. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Some body guard you are.. I should tell my Pa you’ve been slackin’.”

Billy’s lips pulled into a smirk at your teasing.

“Come on.. you know I could protect you even in my sleep.” He chuckled.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Right..”

Billy propped himself on his side and you did everything you could not to look at his strong shoulders.

“You don’t think I could huh?” He said, cocking his head slightly.

You shook your head, closing your book. “Nope. I think you’d sleep right through whatever danger.”

Billy raised an eyebrow, warmth swelled in your chest. You liked his cute little facial expressions, though you shouldn’t find them cute.

“I’m quick. Fast reflexes.”

You laughed. “Okay righ-“

Just then your book was snatched from your fingers, now in Billy’s as he looked at you with a mix of pride and amusement.

“Hey-!” You laughed, lunging forward to swipe at the book. At each attempted grab you made, Billy moved his arm at just the right moment.

“When are you going to start trying? Come on- get the book.” Billy taunted.

You giggled as you lunged forward again, except this time, you lost your balance and fell. Fell on top of him.

Your bodies were pressed up against each other. A warm blush flushed across your cheeks. Your arms were on either side of Billy’s head, chest heaving due to the effort of trying to get your book back. You could smell him now you were close. Hints of whiskey and smoke filled your nose.

Billy had froze, book still held up in mid air. His jaw clenched, eyes darkening at the sight of you over him like this.

You stumbled off of him and moved away, lowering yourself onto the grass.

“Sorry-“

Billy sat up, handing the book back to you. You took it back and noticed the rigidness of his motions. He looked pale, out of breath.

“You should go back inside.” He said finally. Your heart squeezed at the words. You didn’t want to. Though it was selfish, you wanted to spend more time with him.

“Billy what’s wrong?” You tried asking but he brushed you off, a faint blush spreading on his cheeks.

“Come on.. it’s getting close to supper anyways. Your father will be expecting you.” He murmured.

The tenseness in his voice was evident so you decided it probably wasn’t best to argue. Instead you stood up and brushed the grass of your dress, still shaken by how close you’d just been to him. Billy stayed seated.

“Aren’t you comin’?” You asked, looking down at him.

He shook his head, waving a hand. “I’ll be there later. I just want to sit for a bit.”

You took your bottom lip between your teeth and nodded, not saying another word before turning to walk off towards the ranch house.

You didn’t know what had shifted the mood. He was fine, until your body pressed up against his, faces close. You felt a bit guilty. Billy probably just took his job seriously.

You tried to shake the thoughts of him out of your head as you walked, but you swore that you could feel his eyes boring holes into your back as you walked. Full of desire. Hunger.

A few days passed since that moment. The tension was undeniable. Your heart pounded each time he spoke to you. You just couldn't help the feeling. It was automatic.

The biggest problem is that you knew the rules. You knew what your father expected. The scary part was that you were starting to not care. Billy was so tempting. He was dangling in front of you but just out of your grasp. You knew it was supposed to be that way, but the way Billy’s eyes traveled down your body made you think differently.

One night, you’d gotten up for a drink of water. You’d stumbled around the kitchen in the dark, knocking something over in the process. It was quiet enough for your father to not hear but not for Billy who lived on the bottom story of the ranch house.

Billy was right. He was quick. You didn’t even know he was there until you felt his hands grasp your waist from behind, steadying you in the dark. You’d felt his warm breath feather over your neck as he stood behind you.

“You should really use a light when you're down here.” He had whispered in your ear. His breath caressed the side of your face causing you to shutter.

His hands on you had felt so right. Wrong according to your father, but he didn’t have to know.

That night was one of the many moments that kept you up. You wondered if Billy laid in bed and thought of the same things too. If he secretly wanted the same things. Everyday it was getting harder to not make a fool of yourself in front of him.

Your eyes always searched for his now, holding his gaze until either one of you gave up, or if your father walked in. The sexual tension was palpable.

“Night.” You said to Billy. It had been a day since the kitchen encounter and you still felt breathless just thinking about it.

Billy looked up from where he sat, sipping whiskey at the kitchen table. “Night Y/n.”

You leaned on the table running a hand through your hair. “Oh- Did Pa tell you when he’d be back from town?” You tilted your head, looking at Billy, awaiting his response.

Billy downed his drink and shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe another hour.”

You hummed and nodded, letting quiet lay upon the kitchen for a moment. The silence was suffocating. You noticed how he had finished his whiskey, the glass now empty, Billy’s lip print faint on the rim.

He began to stand up, presumably to wash it. You immediately took the glass from his hand, your fingers skimming his briefly. Billy’s eyes widened.

“I can wash it. You do too much around here.” You said shuffling over to the sink. You started to pump water when you felt Billy’s mouth near your ear.

His voice was low, smooth, and you didn’t mind the sweet smell of whiskey either. “I don’t mind helping out… especially when it comes to you.”

Your breath hitched. Billy’s lips gently skimmed the nape of your neck. This was new. He’s never placed his lips on you, but you were sure as hell not complaining. Heat rose in your stomach as you turned to face him, forgetting entirely about the dirty whiskey glass that currently sat in a sink of sudsy water.

Billy’s gaze flicked from your lips back to your eyes. The look was fleeting but you caught it, you knew what he was thinking.

“We shouldn’t.” You whispered softly.

“Do what darlin’? Your goin’ to have to be more specific.” Billy drawled.

Butterflies fluttered painfully in your stomach. “Don’t play dumb..” You replied, voice shaking a bit due to the anticipation.

Billy then raised up his hands in a sign of surrender. “Alright then. Goodnight Y/n”

He turned to leave when something snapped inside you. Was it desire? Were you losing your mind? Who the hell cares at this point. Your body was screaming for his attention, so you reached out a hand and grabbed one of his suspenders, pulling him flush up against you. You quickly mashed your lips against his in a quick, but passionate kiss.

When you pulled back Billy looked pleasantly surprised. He then smirked down at you, lips parting to speak. “I’m not one to follow rules anyways.”

Before you could give a witty response in reply his lips were back onto yours, tasting and savoring the feeling. His lips were soft against yours, but you could feel the intensity. Billy’s hands slid around your hips, pushing you against the sink. Your own hands found their place on his shoulders, the shoulders you had once fantasized about, now in your grasp.

Your mouth worked more frantically now, the heat building inside your core at every swipe of his tongue. You nipped at Billy’s bottom lip, causing him to emit a low groan that made your insides flutter.

“Darlin’ I don’t know how I was able to stay away from you for so long..” Billy mumbled against your lips. You gasped for air as he bowed his head, peppering soft kisses on your jaw.

“When I first saw you…. I knew I wanted this.” You breathed, head tilting back slightly to let Billy gain better access to your throat.

Billy’s cock grew painfully hard in his pants, but he wanted to savor this. Savor you.

“You sure you want to do this darlin? Don’t want to get you in trouble…” Billy murmured.

“I’m tired of playing it safe.” You responded quickly, sliding up one of your hands to dig it into his curls as he kissed down your neck.

“Oh?” Billy said in an amused tone. “I hope your feeling brave because I want to fuck you right here.”

You moaned at his words. “Fuck it. I need you.” You whined.

Billy released your hips and cupped your ass lifting you with ease before moving slightly away from the sink to set you down on the counter. Billy began to move down, obviously heading down towards your cunt when the sound of boots walking up to the front door could be heard from the porch. You both looked at each other for a moment, frozen.

You then scrambled away from Billy, fixing your hair and turning yourself back to the dirty dishes. Billy as well made himself look busy as Tunstall strode through the front door making his way into the kitchen.

His eyes widened when he walked into the kitchen, then he relaxed. “Oh, I’m surprised y’all are still up.” He said groggily, obviously tired from the horse ride back from town.

“Hello Pa.” You said sweetly, silently glad that the intense moment of passion before didn’t affect your voice. You turned away from the sink walking over to hug him, ignoring Billy who was leaned up against one of the kitchen counters, nonchalantly looking at his hands.

You embraced your father, though you were mildly annoyed with the interruption. When you pulled back you tilted your head at him. “You look exhausted.”

Tunstall chuckled dryly. “I was just plannin’ on going to bed.” You smiled at him.

“We’ll go ahead.. Goodnight.” You hugged him once again before letting go. Your father gave you a thankful look and gave an acknowledging “hello” to Billy before making his way upstairs. You held your breath until you heard his bedroom door close.

A puff of air escaped your lips and you pinched the bridge of your nose. “God- that was close.” You muttered thinking about the rage your father would’ve felt if he’d seen Billy with his hands and lips on your body like that. You looked up and Billy’s eyes were trained on you. He pushed away from the counter and stepped closer.

He grabbed your hips, pulling you towards him as his mouth skimmed the shell of your ear.

“There’s no way in hell I’ll be able to go to sleep after that..” He murmured.

You sucked in a breath, butterflies fluttering painfully in your stomach. You wanted him so bad, but you knew the risk.

“But- My Pa-“ You reminded him, your voice breathy and quiet.

Billy smirked, taking one of his hands and cupping your cheek. His hand was calloused and warm- you loved it.

“You know how to be a good girl and keep quiet don’t you?” He said in a low, raspy voice. Billy seemed to be struggling to not to tear your clothes off right here- right now.

You were hesitant, but your desires were bigger.

“Follow me.” You finally whispered. This earned you a squeeze from Billy's hands on your waist and a lopsided grin. You took his giant hand in your own and led him quietly up the stairs. You felt Billy’s lips press against your arm as you walked, kissing you slowly.

When you finally made it into your bedroom you made sure to lock the door quietly. The only sound to be heard was the distant drone of your father’s snoring.

“You have to be quiet- ok?” You whispered to Billy as he led you to the bed.

“Darlin’ I should be telling you that.” He grinned as you laid down on your back, arms stretching above your head. Billy climbed on top of you, thighs on either side of your hips as he smirked down at you.

You tilted your head slightly down, giving him what some would call “bedroom eyes”. Billy chuckled and bent down, meeting your lips. He liked the taste of you, if he could get drunk off your lips he would. Every night.

Soon you were both a frenzy of kisses and fingers. Your hand was dug into Billy’s curls as he kissed you, tongue swiping over your mouth. You let out breathy moans into his mouth that made Billy feel intoxicated.

“I like it when you make cute little sounds like that.” He murmured, kissing up and down your neck leaving bites and marks as he went.

You arched into him as he kissed, in utter bliss. Eventually your dress was off and so were his garments. Billy’s hands traced the slope of your waist. You felt his hands, so calloused from his pistol.

“You're perfect.” He mumbled against your neck, breath tickling your skin.

“Billy I need you..” You choked out, squeezing your thighs together.

“Let me take care of you darlin’.” He drawled, taking one of his hands down your navel towards your cunt. You spread your legs, surrendering yourself to him.

Soon his hand was rubbing firm circles on your clit, his mouth on yours. He swallowed each of your choked moans. You tried your hardest to keep quiet, but Billy wasn’t making it easy.

You felt needy and impatient, you wanted his cock buried inside of you. As Billy massaged his fingers on your cunt you sat up slightly, still kissing him, and reached down and took his cock in your hand. Billy froze, eyes fluttering as you slowly ran your thumb over the tip.

“Darlin’ I haven’t finished with you yet.” He murmured, keeping his groans hushed by your lips while you slowly dragged your hand up and down his length.

“I can’t wait any longer.” You whispered. Billy nodded and gave you a lopsided smirk, taking his cock in his hands and running it up and down your folds. He was fine with getting right to it, he waited long enough for this moment already. He finally sunk into you, causing a hiss to escape your lips.

Billy immediately started snapping his hips, pounding into you. Noises kept escaping your lips, Billy slowed. You reached for Billy’s wadded up shirt that laid on the bed next to you. You put it in your mouth to keep your moans muffled. Billy, almost like he was more turned on by this, kissed your forehead before slamming into you again.

“F-fuck.” Billy groaned into your shoulder, sliding out of you for a moment. He then leaned back and flipped you over, your back arched and pretty pussy displayed for him. You gripped the bed sheets as you pressed your face into the mattress. Billy sheathed himself into you again and grabbed your hips. In this position he was able to go deeper than before. Tears pricked at your eyes as he fucked you, cock stretching out your walls, knot building in your belly.

You felt your orgasm approaching, your body trembling with pleasure. Billy’s hands squeezed your hips harder as he trailed kisses down the slope of your back. You whimpered as his thrusts became sloppier. You were both panting at this point, the shirt in your mouth becoming damp.

“S’good. Just like that…” Billy murmured.

Finally your orgasm hit you, legs threatening to give out. Billy groaned as you squeezed around him, pushing him to his own orgasm. Billy came, spurting into your cunt, cum dripping down your thighs.

You relaxed your naked body, crumpling onto the mattress. Billy did the same, raking his hand through his messy curls. He turned his head to look at you and chuckled when he saw his shirt in your mouth. He gently reached over and took it from your mouth before placing a gentle kiss on your lips. You fluttered your eyes and looked at him.

“Good girl..” He murmured slowly, tracing hearts on your face. You blushed, nuzzling closer to him. You felt content now, knowing you finally got what you wanted. Him.

How your father would handle it would be another day's problem. The only thing you could think about now was how his arms wrapped around you as you both laid exhausted.

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nailbatss · 6 months ago

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California, Show Your Teeth

This is one of my entries for @harringrovesummerbingo !! I'm hoping to post on A03 sometime too!

Square & Prompt: C1 - Alpha!Steve visiting California beaches to get an eyeful of California omegas

Rating: SFW but alludes to spice

Word Count: 1.5k

Major Tags: a/b/o dynamics, Alpha!Steve, Omega!Billy, swearing, alludes to sexual content, Billy is slightly ooc

Summary: Alpha!Steve has spent too long with the same omegas from Hawkins. He wants to try something new for a change. He hops in his car and drives to California for a beach trip. Somehow, a new omega catches his eye (and maybe his heart).

Steve was sick of the same old same old. What does one do in a situation like this, you may ask?

He packs his stuff and heads out west. That’s what he does.

Pedal to the floor, nothing but open roads ahead and the wind in his hair. Tapping his hands on the steering wheel, Steve hummed along to his tape blaring through his car. He was going to see what California had to offer one way or another.

How did he choose California? Simple.

It was far enough away for a better chance.

Now, Steve wasn’t like other knot-headed alphas. He was respectful, kind-hearted, and he had amazing instincts when it came to pups. He was especially the kind that the kids called “babysitter” since he looked after them like they were his own. Being in a position like that makes a guy really crave something he didn’t have.

And he wasn’t getting any younger.

Hours on the open road will give you a chance to think, especially when he had enough time to think about what he wanted. He wanted to settle down someday, have a family, but he wouldn’t stay stationary in a town that hated him. He would want to travel around, not stay in the same place too long.

That sounded like the life for Steve Harrington.

~*~

The sun was intense as he stepped onto the beach. Steve’s eyes trailed along the shoreline, catching a glimpse of the white sand and the crystal clear water. California was pretty, but he wasn’t just trying to look at the scenery.

Hearing a fit of giggles, Steve turned his attention to a group of girls as they looked at the magazine in front of them. ‘Alpha’s Digest’ the cover reads. What a tacky magazine. He scoffed.

If only he could forget about his mother’s collection of them in the foyer that nobody used anymore. Every month they got delivered and she’d shove them in a box in the front room so his father didn’t find out.

Steve shuddered at the thought.

“Alright, shitbird, you and your friends need to go on.” A voice barked.

That’s when his heart stopped.

Standing around 5’10”, the blonde, curly-haired man was standing with his arms crossed. A skull smoking was inked on his right bicep, appearing to be the only mark on his arm. That’s when he removed his sunglasses to glare at the girl in question, a smaller red-haired girl who was glaring back at him in a challenge almost.

They argued for a few more minutes until the girl caught him staring.

“Oi, you got a problem?”

The blonde snapped and raised his brow, approaching Steve with a blazing glare.

“You should be staring elsewhere, pretty boy. She’s too young for you.”

“O-Oh, sorry, I wasn’t trying to stare!” Steve defended and held his hands up in defense.

Judging by the stance, and the scent patch on the blonde’s neck, he was an omega. Makes sense as to why he was so protective over the younger girl. Could be his sister or something, Steve reckons.

“Then what’s your problem?”

“Shit,” Steve paused, “I’m new here. Just checking out the sights… and the beach.” He reasoned.

The blonde was giving him an updown, taking him in and tilting his head.

“Makes sense as to why you’re so damn pale. You stick out like a sore thumb.” Oh, he’s sassy too, Steve notes. He likes this fiery omega already.

“So um, you wanna help a guy out? Give me a tour or something?” Steve replied weakly.

The omega in question snorts, “Aren’t you forward? Interesting.” He took out a toothpick from his shorts pocket, making him wonder how long he had been keeping those there. “Well? Gonna tell me your name, pretty boy?”

“Steve, Steve Harrington.”

The blonde smirked, “Billy, Billy Hargrove.” He mimicked him. “Damn, you’re pretty for an alpha.”

“How’d you clock me as an alpha?”

“You’re not trying to jump in my pants like the other alphas ‘round here. I noticed you noticed my patch too. I’m not blind.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“And respectful? Shit, keep talkin and I’ll keep you around. Not used to that at all.”

Billy held out his hand for Steve, confusing the alpha at first.

“Give me your phone, I’ll give you my number. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Steve scrambled to grab his phone and unlock it, handing it to the blonde as he typed away. Looking closer at the omega, Steve realized that he has freckles under his sunglasses. It was really cute.

“There. Better call me.” He winked and walked away. “I’ll be free around 6.” He called over his shoulder, giving Steve a full view of his perky and round ass.

God knows that he was going to have to head to his hotel to think.

And get his inner alpha to calm down.

~*~

‘Hey, this is Steve!’

‘Yeah, I know. You don’t listen to instructions very well, do you?’

‘I’m sorry?’

‘I said to call me, but this works too.’

‘Shit, sorry.’

‘It’s all good. I like when you apologize. It’s cute.’

‘So, are you free to show me around?’

‘What’s in it for me?’

‘I could get you dinner, your choice of place.’

‘Anywhere? Shit, you sure about that?’

‘You would know best, wouldn’t you?’

‘Suppose I would. Alright, meet me here at 7. Don’t be late, pretty boy ;)’

[location received]

Looks like he had a date to get ready for.

~*~

Dinner that night went swimmingly. He was able to spend some time getting to know the spitfire that was Billy Hargrove.

“My dad’s a piece of shit, my mom’s dead, and I have a new stepmom and stepsister. That’s who you saw me talking to earlier.” Billy said after taking another bite of pasta.

Steve nodded, taking a sip of the wine he ordered for them to enjoy.

“You’re different for an alpha, I don’t understand you.” Billy pointed out.

That certainly caught Steve off guard. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’ve been enjoying dinner and you haven’t tried to flirt with me, try to say some nasty shit, and then wine and dine me? I don’t understand.”

“Because I understand that you’re not an object.” Steve started to answer, making Billy’s eyes widen. “You’re a person and you deserve to be thought of as such.” He met his gaze so he knew he was serious when saying this.

“I’m not going to treat you like other alphas will. When I say shit, I mean it.”

They were both quiet again after that had been said. It felt like electricity crackling through the air; the pair could feel it. Whatever was brewing between them, it could only be contained for a little while longer.

Needless to say, dinner came to a close and the bill was paid in a hurry.

When they got in the car, the emotions were running high. And the hormones even higher.

~*~

Slamming against the door, Steve laughed as he pulled his shirt off, tossing it aside. “Alright, alright, easy.” He laughed before lips were on his again.

“You kept me waiting too long, pretty boy. Wanna see what’s under here.” The omega muttered as hands were wandering, feeling his body and setting his inner alpha off.

‘Omega likes us. Keep going, make him feel amazing.’

Steve pulled him closer and smirked, shutting the door behind him with the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign swinging sideways. Oh yeah, he was going to enjoy this.

After the tangling of limbs and such, Billy was laying on his chest and he looked at Steve.

“Look, I don’t do this, okay?”

“This as in…?”

“Casual dates, then sex. It’s not something I normally do.”

“Well, I don’t either. Not usually anyway.”

They were both quiet for a moment.

“Do you want it to mean something?” Steve asked him quietly.

“...Yeah.”

“Then it’ll mean something if you’ll have me?”

“Like?”

“Do you want to go on another date?”

“Are you skipping town anytime soon?” Billy fired back and looked up at him.

“I thought about it.” Steve answered honestly.

“Oh.” The omega’s usually beachy scent turned stormy. “I see.”

Sensing his mistake, the brunette tipped his chin back up to face him, “But I’m not. I’ve got nothing waiting back there for me. Here, I have you.” He pressed a kiss between his eyebrows. “I’m here for you.”

Those stormy blues once again turned a brighter crystal color, “Good. Don’t want you to go. Not when I just got you.”

“Then I’m yours, baby.” Steve smiled and their lips met once more.

“You’re mine.” Billy answered. “And I’m yours.”

Steve couldn’t agree more. California had really been amazing to him; he was never going to turn back.

#HSB2024 #harringrove #harringrove summer bingo #stranger things

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starkstruck27 · 2 years ago

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TW: very brief mentions of suicide, and of course mentions of child abuse. Enjoy but please read with caution my friends.

Billy didn’t know if the urge to cry was coming from the fact that his dad had pulled him back in again, like a moth to a flame, or the fact that the man himself was lying in front of him dying.

Either way, the urge was there, and Billy took a little bit of satisfaction from the fact that he was able to take deep breaths to steady himself and his dad couldn’t. He was dying of lung cancer, and didn’t have long, maybe a month left, at most. Most of the doctors estimated that he’d be gone within a week or two, though, so Billy finally made himself build up the courage to book himself a flight from Ocean City to Indianapolis and actually get on the plane. It’d been 15 years, and it still didn’t feel like nearly enough time had passed since he last saw his father. The bruises that’d been throbbing that day in 1988 were long gone, but as Billy stepped into the hospital room, his footsteps keeping time with the heart monitor and breathing machine, he could still feel them all over his body.

“I’ll let you have some privacy,” the nurse who’d escorted him back told him, smiling nicely and shutting the door as she left. Billy didn’t even thank her, because he wasn’t sure if he should. Even with his father confined to a hospital bed and too weak to move even if he wanted to, he couldn’t help but feel a little unsafe in a room alone with him. Still, he twisted the ring on his left hand, took a few deep breaths like his therapist had taught him, and approached his father.

“Hey, dad,” he said, still fiddling with his ring. He remembered the inscription inside of it and the man who wore the matching one, and that helped him relax a little.

“Billy?” His dad wheezed, his voice only coming out on a whisper. It was another thing that Billy took satisfaction in, the fact that, no matter how hard he tried, his dad would never be able to yell at him anymore.

“Yeah, it’s me. Not used to seeing me without a red mark on my face, huh?” Billy said, a sharp edge to his voice. He knew the man was dying and he knew that the comment was backhanded, but he didn’t care. He didn’t owe his dad anything, and especially not respect. Still, it made the knife in his heart twist a little when a look of guilty recognition came over his father’s face.

“I know it doesn’t mean much now,” his dad said, “But I’m sorry for everything I ever did to you.”

Billy couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous that statement was.

“No you’re not,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. “And anyway, it wouldn’t even matter if you were, because I didn’t come here for that. I didn’t come here to forgive you or for your half-assed apologies so you could die with a clean conscience. I came here for me, because I deserve to be able to live knowing that at least if my father died thinking I was a disappointment, he was going to have all the facts straight, so shut the fuck up and listen.”

Billy’s heart was racing as he stood up a little straighter, squaring his shoulders to give off the illusion of confidence even if he wasn’t entirely sure he was feeling it.

“First of all, I’ve been doing great for the past 15 years, so thanks for asking,” he said, flexing his fingers. “As soon as I got out of Hawkins, I went to college. I applied to UCLA, Penn State, West Virginia and the University of Phoenix. I ended up getting into all of them, so I went to UCLA and got a degree in Marine Biology. I graduated with a Masters degree at 26, and I started working on my doctorate a year or so ago. I got a great job with amazing colleagues, and I’m making more money in a month than you would make in a year.

“I got therapy as soon as I started making enough to afford it, and I’m not completely healed yet, no one ever is, but I’m a lot better off than I used to be. I was able to figure out why I was so angry all the time and why I couldn’t ever let anyone else in even if I wanted to, and eventually I learned how to stop being that way. Which, I’m glad I did, because if I hadn’t, I would’ve ruined one of the best things that ever happened to me before it even truly got started.

“When I left Hawkins, I didn’t leave alone. My best friend in the entire world came with me, because he also wanted to get out from under his father’s thumb. Steve and I moved to California and lived out of a motel for a few weeks until he could get a job and save enough for us to afford a place. I had just started college and things were rough at first, but I was able to start therapy when Steve and I started fighting more and more. I was so afraid he was going to leave me behind and go off on his own, but he saw that I was putting forth an effort, so he stuck by my side. And every day I’m more grateful that he did, because once I was able to see my therapist for about a year, I had improved enough to finally be honest with myself and with him, and I came clean when he took me out to celebrate one year of being on our own.

“He asked how therapy was going over dinner and I told him that I was doing good, and that I was finally gonna stop lying, and I told him that I was gay. And he just looked at me with these big soft eyes and a sympathetic little smile and told me that he was glad I told him, but he had already kind of figured that out. Then he told me that he didn’t care at all and that it didn’t change the way he viewed me at all, because he cared about me no matter what. And I knew he would probably react like that, because his best friend Robin is gay, and he’s known since the summer of ‘85, and they’re still practically attached at the hip to this day, but I was still worried. Then I told him that there was more, and I said that I had been falling in love with him from the first moment I met him, and it took me a while to be able to admit that to even myself, but now I had, and I wanted him to know, too.

“And when he told me he felt the same way, I nearly fell out of my chair. I could’ve sworn he was straight and I told him as much, but he just shrugged and said that he didn’t love me for what kind of body I had, he loved me for the person I was and was continuing to become. And I cried right there in front of the entire restaurant, because I never thought that anyone could love me just because I’m me.”

Billy paused and took a breath. He was still close to crying, and his voice was getting wavery and thick, but he cleared it and took a deep breath, getting ready to continue on. He looked at his father for a moment before he did, and was met with a face of stone. He had no expression on whatsoever, so Billy just let out the breath he was holding and kept going.

“It was another year and a half of just being together before he finally asked me to marry him. It was on Halloween, because that was the first time we met 6 years prior, at a stupid Halloween party my junior year. I remembered that party, because the first time I met him, he was with his girlfriend at the time, and this asshole we had both been friends with at one point wanted me to go over and brag to him about being the new keg king, but as soon as I saw his face, I stopped dead in my tracks and I could barely speak. It was kind of awkward, because I couldn’t think of anything to say to him and when I was silent for a few seconds, he ran off after his girlfriend who had slipped away and that was that. And then later that evening, his girlfriend broke up with him, and he was sulking outside, so I finally got up the nerve to go talk to him. It wasn’t right away, but we became friends, and we’ve stuck together ever since. He told me that that’s why he picked that night to propose to me, and before he could even finish asking the question, I was already crying and saying yes.

“I kissed him and he put the ring on my finger, but not before he showed me the inscription he had gotten on the inside of it. It said ‘Yeah I wanna marry you, don’t cream your pants’, because that’d been one of our inside jokes from the beginning, and he thought it would make me laugh. And it did, but not before I cried over it, because even though it was a stupid line, just the fact that he thought that much about it was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me. We got married a few months later in a discreet little church somewhere in LA, and it was one of the best days of my life. My friends from college were there, Robin was Steve’s best man, and she’d even managed to get the word out to a few people back in Hawkins that we were getting married and surprised us by having them in the audience when we walked into the church.

“Remember that road trip Max went on with her best friend El in 1990? Well, that’s where she was, a little hole-in-the-wall church in Southern California, watching her former babysitter and her older brother tie the knot. When I saw her in the front row in her light blue pant-suit, her hair up in a perfect ballerina bun on her head and smiling like the sun, I burst into tears. She looked so grown up, and I couldn’t even believe she was there. We hadn’t done a huge reception afterwards, but we did have a little something, and Steve and I were only really going to do the couple’s dance at first because his mom wasn’t going to make it and I didn’t have anyone to dance with either, but we did end up doing them. He danced with Robin and I danced with Max, and then we danced together, and neither one of us could keep it together. I can still remember the way Steve bawled when Max and all her friends made him take a picture with them, because he hadn’t seen them in a few years and when they were all gathered around him, he said he felt like no time had passed, even though it clearly had. Then Max and El pulled me into the picture, and Steve kissed me, and the kids all made faces like they were grossed out about it. That picture is still framed in our living room.”

Billy could hear his own voice getting more squeaky and uneven as he began to cry, but he made himself hold it together. He had to get through this, because goddammit, after everything his father had put him through, he was going to know damn well that it didn’t defeat Billy. He was going to have to listen to every good thing that’d happened to him and he was going to have to face up to the fact that no matter how hard he’d tried, he couldn’t break Billy down, at least not permanently.

“We were married for two years before Steve started to bring up the topic of starting a family. I had just gotten my Bachelor’s degree and was getting ready to start my Masters, but we had decided to get a little drunk as a celebration and he asked me if I ever thought about maybe having kids. I knew he always wanted kids, but I wasn’t so sure. I told him I used to want kids more than anything when I was little and Mom was still around, but once she left, I wasn’t so sure, so we decided to table the discussion for now and talk again when we were sober. He brought it up again at dinner two nights later, and told me he’d always dreamed of having six kids, three girls, three boys, and that he still wanted that, but only if I did, too. And I could never say no to him, especially not when he was giving me that look, so I said that maybe we could just start with one and see how it went. He lit up like a firefly when I said that, and immediately started looking into the different options.

“It was hard, though. Most adoption agencies didn’t want to deal with us because we were both men, and finding a good surrogate took a lot of money that we just didn’t have at that point. It was killing me, both because Steve was so disappointed and because now that we’d finally talked and figured things out, I wanted a kid as much as he did. But then, just when all hope seemed lost, Robin paid us a visit and said that she might be able to help us. She was going to college at that point, too, and she knew a girl from one of her classes that was pregnant, but was thinking about terminating the pregnancy because she just didn’t want kids, she never had. She just wanted a career and to marry her boyfriend, and he felt the same, so she was weighing her options and thought aborting was the best way to go.

“But then Robin stepped in and asked if she would consider having the baby and putting it up for adoption, and the girl, her name was Lindsay, said that if she were sure her baby would go to a good home she might consider it, but the foster care and adoption systems weren’t great and she didn’t want her baby to go through that. Robin told her about us and how we wanted to start a family, and Lindsay and her boyfriend agreed to meet us and see what they thought. They ended up liking us, and Lindsay said that she’d help us out. Steve and I were both over the moon about it, and over the next few months, we did everything we could to get ready for it. And finally, on a warm April afternoon, I got out of class to find Steve waiting for me, telling me that Lindsay had checked into the hospital a half hour before and that she was waiting for us.

“It didn’t take too terribly long, only maybe five hours, but it felt like years had passed as we sat holding hands in the waiting room chairs. Neither of us moved from the moment they shooed us out of the delivery room until a nurse came out and told us that Lindsay was resting and our baby was being cleaned up and weighed. She told us on the way back to Lindsay’s room that the baby was perfectly healthy so far, and that they’d need to run some tests and give her her vaccines, but that she was okay so far. Steve was just relieved that she was okay, but then I turned to him and smiled and said, ‘did you hear what she said?’ And he didn’t get it at first, but then I said ‘she said she. We have a daughter,’ and Steve just stared at me. Then he started crying, and I had to hold him before we could go in and see Lindsay because he was crying so hard.

“When he finally calmed down, we went inside and Lindsay hugged us both and we shook hands with her boyfriend and we talked for a little until a nurse came in wheeling a little bassinette. She asked who wanted to hold her first and Lindsay looked at us, and I let Steve hold her first because he’d wanted this for a lot longer than I had. He held her and he looked at her and he kissed her head and I swear I’ve never before felt anything like I had in that moment, because a minute ago I was a new father, but it was like an abstract concept, and then when I looked at Steve holding our daughter, looking at her like she’d hung the sun, the moon and every one of the stars, it was like a switch was flipped, and suddenly I was willing to jump in front of a train or off a cliff or get eaten by a shark if it meant the two of them, but especially my little girl, would be safe and happy.

“And then, after a few minutes, Steve looked at me, and he asked if I wanted to hold her. And suddenly, I was stiff as a board and spacing out, because all that love and devotion I’d been feeling a second before were overshadowed and drowned out by this crippling, paralyzing fear. From what Steve’s told me, I went white as a sheet and started shaking like a leaf in the wind, and he said that all the life drained out of my eyes as I clenched my fists. He had to hand our baby to Lindsay for a minute, because he was worried about me, and he said he had to practically carry me to the little bathroom attached to the room so we could talk privately. He said in all that time, he didn’t even see me blink. I don’t remember much of this, I only remember him flicking water from the sink in my face to get me to come back to him, and he asked what’d happened.

“And then I remember I collapsed to the floor, and I didn’t cry, but I still shook like I’d gotten electrocuted. And when he sat down next to me and held my hand, I finally told him that it hadn’t quite felt real until that moment. But then he had tried to hand me the baby, and when I saw her tiny, fragile body and remembered that I was the one who was going to have to take care of her and keep her safe from then on, I just froze. I told him that I was afraid of her, which was stupid, right? Because she can’t do anything to me, she can barely even open her eyes yet, but yet she terrified me more than anything else in the world, because if she ends up fucked up, that’s our fault, and while I didn’t think Steve would be able to fuck her up, I definitely could. And he said that he didn’t believe that, and he said ‘you’re not going to turn out like your father’. And I swear to God, I almost socked him right in the face for that.

“But I didn’t, because somehow, without me saying a single word, he knew exactly why I was so fucking scared of someone who only weighed five and a half pounds. And once he said it, I was able to realize that that was what I was so scared of. I didn’t want to hold her because I was afraid I would get the urge to hit her for no reason. I was afraid I would start getting itchy because I couldn’t scream at her with other people in the room. I was afraid she would start to cry, and when I couldn’t get her under control, I’d just leave her for someone else to deal with, or even just to her own devices. I was afraid that if I would hold her and know that she’s mine, I would stop loving her and instead of seeing her as a blessing, I’d see her as a burden, and I wouldn’t want to take care of her. And I was horrified with myself for thinking that I would turn into you, but was even more horrified at the thought that I wouldn’t be able to control if I was or not. It scared me shitless that one day I might be sending my daughter to school with a black eye and fractured ribs because she forgot to put the dishes away before going to bed, or that she might not be able to take as much as I did and I might come home to find her limp body on the floor with a note telling me to go fuck myself, and I might not even care about it other than the fact that now I’d have to deal with what to do next.

“But for as scared as all those thoughts made me, I knew they were just that: intrusive thoughts. Because Steve had never lied to me once, never, in all the years I’d known him, and I knew that if he had a hunch about something, he was almost always right about it. And if he believed that I could be different, that I could be the dad I had always hoped for and wanted to be, then he was probably right about that, too. He told me that he knew from the look I got when I reiterated that we had a daughter out in the hall that I already loved her more than anything, and that I would never hurt her for anything in the whole wide world. Then he stood up, and he helped me up, too, and after helping me breathe more normally, he led me out of the bathroom.

“Lindsay smiled as we walked out and asked if everything was alright, and Steve told her it was just last minute anxiety, but that I was fine. And you know what, dad? I was. Because I knew that I was nothing like you, and that alone is what made me reach out and take our daughter from Lindsay’s arms, because I wanted to prove to myself that I was right.”

Billy was fully crying now, tears running down his cheeks in rivers, a constant flow that dripped from his chin and fell onto his jeans, his shoes, the floor. His nose was running a little bit and his throat was scratchy and his head was beginning to ache a little bit, but he didn’t care. He had come this far, and he was going to keep going until he’d said everything, aired every grievance he’d had to deal with and told him how he’d overcome them.

“Right after I picked her up, a nurse came in, holding a clipboard. She said that it was the birth certificate, and that everything was filled out except for our baby’s name. She looked at me, I guess because I was holding her, but I was too busy being happy that none of those terrible thoughts I’d had earlier were coming true and watching my daughter watch me to notice, so Steve said it. It’d taken us months to decide on what name we would go with depending on if it was a boy or a girl, but once we had them, we knew. I remember, in the early stages, when we would just toss names around, Steve had suggested something like ‘Lassie’ for a girl, and I almost smacked him upside the head. But then I was reading my textbook for class one night and saw one of the editor’s names, and I said to him, ‘what about Talia?’ And that was it. we decided that her middle name was going to be Ruth, after Steve’s grandmother, and it just had a nice ring to it.

“I remember when we got the official certificate a few days later, and I saw Talia Ruth Harrington written on paper for the first time. The way Steve tells it, I almost fainted, but I don’t remember that. All I remember is how the paper trembled, because when I held it, my hands were shaking. They did that every single time I held one of my kids’ birth certificates for the first time, and they’re going to do it again in a few months when our next baby is born. She’ll be number six, because Steve and I are both crazy, but me even more so, because I finally gave in and told him nothing would make me happier than to give him his dream family. And so far, I have.

“After Talia was born, I finished up my degree and started looking around for good jobs. I was open to anything, no matter where it was, and because our apartment was too small now that Talia was starting to grow more, we had to move anyway. We saved up as much as we could, and by the time Talia had turned one, we had a plan. I found a job at a small marine institute just outside of Ocean City, Maryland, and we decided to move there. We found a nice, three bedroom house about a ten minute walk from the beach for a reasonable price, and we bought it. We had only been moved in for about a month when Steve started teasing me about what we should do with the extra bedroom, and I knew what he was getting at, but I wanted to wait until we saved up a little bit more and until Talia was a little older. He agreed with me on that, and for another year, we did our best to raise our daughter and earn enough money to start thinking about another kid. Steve even got a job at a local daycare to help make ends meet and to make sure Talia was well cared for during the day while I was at work.

“And then, as luck would have it, just as we became financially stable and as Talia started to become more independent, we got our wish. Steve was opening up the daycare one day, and as he approached the door, he heard something from behind one of the fences. His coworker had just shown up, so he asked her to take Talia inside and he went to investigate, and the first thing he did when he found out what it was was open his cell phone and call me. He said he’d found a baby, no older than a month, wrapped in a blanket and just left there behind the fence with a note. It said ‘I can’t give my baby a good home, and I don’t know what to do. I figured someone here might. She’s healthy and has all her shots. Her birthday is August 5th, 1995.’ And that was it.

“Steve said that he was going to call the proper authorities, but he suggested that maybe we could take in the baby. He said we were thinking about it anyway and it couldn’t be a coincidence that another baby had just fallen into our laps like that, and I said that as long as it was a legal adoption, I’d be on board with it. It took a few months, a lot of money and entirely too much paperwork, but finally, we were given our second daughter. Because the mother had never named her, she had been dubbed Baby Doe by the court system up until that point, but once we were legally her parents, we got to name her. We went with Violet Frances Harrington, and then we were settled again for another few years.

“But Steve always wanted an even number of kids, and an even ratio of boys to girls, so once we got Violet settled and we were able to find a bigger house, we decided to go for baby number 3. It was 1997 at this point, and even though we were thinking about selling the old house before we had more kids, once again, fate stepped in. We hadn’t found a new place just yet, and we were toying around with the idea of either converting the attic or basement to a room or splitting the bigger of the girl’s bedrooms in half to make another when the adoption agency we went through called us. They said that they might have something for us, and asked if we wanted to come down and speak with them in person. We said we would, and the next day, we were sitting in an office when the lady who called us walked in and handed us two pictures.

“She said that a few days ago, a mother came in and gave her two sons up for adoption. She was young, probably in college or even high school, but she said she just wasn’t ready to be a mother and she wanted her babies to have a good home. The lady said that she’d called the list of potential parents, but none of them really wanted twins, so she eventually got to us. She said we could take some time to talk about it if we wanted, and then she left the room, and as soon as she did, I looked at Steve.

“I could tell from the smile on his face that he was already sold, and he told me that we should totally do it, because then it would even things up and we wouldn’t even need to get a new place or renovate ours, because then the girls could room together and the boys could take the other room. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was already in love with the boys, and I was too, so instead of answering him, I just went to the door and told the lady we’d be happy to take them in. She smiled and helped us fill out the necessary paperwork, and even though the boys already had names, she said we could change them if we wanted. We’d already had our hearts set on either Nathan or Gavin for our first boy, so we made those their first names, but we hadn’t decided on middle names yet, so we just gave them the names their mother had. And just like that, Nathan Jay Harrington and Gavin Anthony Harrington were joining our not-so-little-anymore family.

“After that, we were content for a while. I started thinking about getting my doctorate, Steve had moved up the ranks until he was practically running the daycare, and our kids continued to grow faster than we could keep up with. Before we knew it, Talia was starting school, Violet was learning to ride a bike, and the boys were curious about any and everything under the sun. Our house began to feel a little small, though, so we started looking around for a bigger place. We finally found one, a seaside mansion that was almost too much, but we made it work. I remember we told the kids Santa might not bring as many presents that year because he couldn’t make them fast enough. Really, Steve and I just couldn’t afford as many presents as we usually got them, but come Christmas morning, we had found a way to spoil them even though we barely had a dollar to our names. Anyway, the house was huge, and even though it only had four real bedrooms, the twins still wanted to share and there were a few extra rooms in the basement and main floor, so we figured if we had any more kids or the twins decided they wanted to separate, we could just use one of them.

“And after we’d been in the house for about a year, Steve started getting baby fever again. This was the first time we’d ever tried looking into the foster care system instead of adoption agencies or surrogates. We were just looking around at that point, not really deciding anything, Steve was just antsy and looking for the hell of it, but then he asked me one night as we were going to bed if I would want to foster this little boy he’d found when he was just looking around for fun. He said that he was about a year old, could already walk, and was able to say simple words. He knew I was a little baby-d out at that point, so he said this time we wouldn’t have to start from scratch, we would just be picking up at an easier point. The twins were 4 by then, Violet was 6 and Talia was 8, so he said they could all start helping out around the house a little more and they would be able to help with the boy if we needed them to. And because I can’t say no to him and he did make a good point, I said I’d think about it. He obviously knew I meant yes, so a couple weeks later, we brought him home. We had only had him for about two days when Steve and the kids all practically begged me to adopt him.

“He already had a name, which was fine by us, because we didn’t really have anything in mind when Steve had started looking around, but I still got that same shaky, fluttery feeling when I first saw Leo Matthew Harrington printed on the birth certificate in my hands. All the kids had been with us that day when we went to the courthouse, and as soon as we showed them the piece of paper and told them that it meant Leo was officially their brother, they all started cheering at the top of their lungs. We got a dirty look from the receptionist, but Steve and I couldn’t help but laugh. Even Leo started squealing and shrieking with joy, and since it was a sunny Saturday in May, we took the kids to the boardwalk to get ice cream.”

Billy was still crying, but now he wiped his eyes and walked around the side of the bed, and sat in the chair at his father’s bedside after taking out his wallet. He opened it and thumbed through it, eventually finding what he was looking for and holding it up in front of his father’s face. It was a picture, taken just a few months ago, on the beach right outside their house. He couldn’t remember who had taken it, probably some couple or kid walking by, but he remembered how happy he was in that moment.

“This is my family,” he said, the tears coming back with twice as much force and his voice beginning to wobble even more. “The man sitting next to me is my husband. The little girl behind us with the black hair and beige colored skin and almond eyes is Talia. The little black girl sitting next to me with the heart shaped sunglasses is Violet. They’re my daughters.” He paused again, wiping his nose as his voice broke and he took a breath to steady himself. “The little boy next to Steve with the blue glasses and red hair is Leo, and the two blond boys on our laps are the twins. Nathan is on my lap and Gavin is on Steve’s, and I can tell them apart because Gavin only smiles with his teeth and Nathan only smiles with his lips. They’re my sons.”

His father lifted a shaky hand to try and take the picture, but Billy held it out of his reach. It was too precious to him to even think about letting his dad hold it, especially since he couldn’t really respond this whole time and he didn’t know if he would, like, rip it up or something. He didn’t want to risk it. It was too important to him.

“In a few weeks, I’m going to get to hold my third baby girl. Her name is going to be Samantha Christie Harrington. From what we can guess, we assume she’s going to have pale skin and brown hair. We don’t know if her eyes are going to be blue or brown, or even hazel. We don’t know if she’s going to be born healthy, although we’re praying that she will, and we don’t know when her birthday is going to be or at what time she’ll be born. But we do know that the girls are ecstatic about getting a little sister, and the boys are excited for Aunt Max and Uncle Lucas to stay over with them while we’re at the hospital. We know that no matter what this child looks, acts, or is like, we’re going to love her just as much as we love all the rest of them. And we know that we’re ready and able to do that, because we’ve already done it five times before, no matter how scared we were or how tired or how uncertain we were.”

“Billy, I-” his father tried to get a word in, but Billy wasn’t having it.

“No, you shut the fuck up, I’m not finished!” He bordered on yelling, but he made himself regain control. He slipped the picture back into his wallet and put it back into his pocket, just trying to busy himself until he could be sure he wasn’t going to lash out again. His father was silent the entire time.

“Listen, dad, I didn’t come here to yell. I didn’t come here to get angry or to get an apology or even an explanation, I’m past all that shit. I came here because I heard you were dying, and despite how much shit you put me through, I couldn’t make myself hate you enough to just ignore that. I also can’t make myself love you enough not to come and forgive you and let you meet your grandchildren and your son-in-law. And as much as it kills me, I can’t make myself stop loving you no matter how hard I try, and I fucking try. But you were the only one who stayed. When Mom split, when Grandma died, when Uncle Jerry went to prison. You could’ve tossed me out like yesterday’s garbage since there was no one else around to give a damn, but you stayed. You put food in my stomach and you kept clothes on my back and, I don’t know, maybe deep down inside you, you really were just trying to make me become a better person, and I can’t hate you for that. But somewhere along the way, your wires got crossed, and you took it too far. You had this... this rage inside you and for some reason, you thought the best person to take it out on was your pre-teen son. And then I guess something broke inside you, because it seemed like you started to actively look for things to justify one more punch, one more insult, one more punishment. First it was because I wasn’t into sports like you were and I couldn’t hit a baseball to save my life. Then it was because I was queer, and having a faggot for a son wasn’t “right”. Then it was because of the music I liked, or the jewelry, or the people I hung out with or the grades I had. Nothing was ever good enough for you, I was never good enough for you.”

Billy paused again. He needed to wrap this up. He hadn’t even packed an overnight bag, just a few things to keep him occupied on the plane rides there and back. So he sucked in another breath and he sat up straight, and for the first time since he’d gotten the phone call that his dad was dying, he felt the weight lifting off of his chest.

“But I don’t need to be good enough for you anymore, and I know that now. It took a long time and a lot of therapy, but I know it. Now I know that I’m good enough to be another person’s entire world, so much so that they put a ring on my finger to make sure I’d be with them until we’re old and gray. We have bad days, we’re not perfect, we fight, but at the end of the day I’m good enough to man up and tell him I’m sorry and I want to make things right because I love him. I’m good enough to sit on the boardwalk with my Violet and throw bread at seagulls, and I’m good enough to walk around looking for seashells with my Talia while she tells me about the really cute boy that smiled at her in class. I’m good enough to play dinosaurs with Nathan with one hand and color with Gavin in one of his coloring books with the other, and I’m good enough to sing Leo to sleep when nothing else will even make him doze. I’m good enough to make amends with the people I’ve hurt because I actually want to, and not just because I’m on my deathbed and I want a better chance at getting into Heaven. And I’m good enough to hold my Samantha for the first time and tell her how much I love her and mean it. And I did all that by myself, because I wanted to prove that I was better than you, and that I would always be better than you, because you made my life hell and I’m still dealing with the aftermath. Every day it’s a struggle, but I know that I’m going to come out on top, because the hard part is over. I’m already out of your clutches. And I’m not going to take that or anything that’s resulted from me getting away for granted, because it’s too important to me.”

Billy stood up, wiped away the last of his tears with his jacket, and cleared his throat again as he headed for the door. He opened it and was planning on just walking right out and not stopping until he was in a car and headed for the airport, but something made him stop. He stared out into the blinding white hallway of the hospital for a second, and finally turned one more time to face the man on the bed. He didn’t owe him anything. But he had already bared his heart and soul to him, what was two more words?

“Goodbye, Neil,” he said.

And with that, he was gone.

*************************************************************

Billy had gotten home the same night he left, albeit very late at night. He was more tired than he had ever been before, and he wanted nothing more than a nice hot shower and to curl up beside Steve in bed. But after the day he’d had, he couldn’t just do that. Something was still tugging in his guts, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the way he’d left things with Neil or if it was because he hadn’t eaten anything that day except for the little snack packets the flight attendants had given him and a snickers bar from the hospital vending machine that was probably as old as some of the patients. Either way, he was too tired to deal with it, so he just went inside, got his hot shower, and put on his pajamas before crawling under the covers with Steve. He was lying on his side with his back to Billy, so he shifted until their bodies were perfectly in line and he wrapped his arms around him, nuzzling his face into Steve’s neck. He only sat up a little bit when he felt a smaller body on the other side of Steve, only to find Leo curled up against Steve’s chest.

“You gotta make me a recording of you singing for the next time you’re out of town,” Steve mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. “This was the only way I could get him to even close his eyes.”

Billy’s heart melted in his chest as he said it, and it only turned further into goop when Steve turned his head and craned his neck to give him a kiss before snuggling back into the covers. And as Billy settled in with him, his arms around both his husband and his son, the tugging feeling in his gut finally stopped.

*************************************************************

Three days later, he got the phone call from the hospital that Neil was dead.

It’d been a busy Thursday morning in July, and while he and Steve were running around trying to get the kids up, dressed, fed and out the door for daycare, the phone rang. Billy was using one hand to wipe the maple syrup from Gavin’s face the the other to help Violet with her hair, and he couldn’t tell you what Steve was doing for a million dollars, so he didn’t even know the phone had been ringing until Talia walked over and handed it to him.

“It’s for you, daddy,” she said, then walked away to do whatever she’d been doing before. Billy had finally gotten the syrup of Gavin’s face and Violet was satisfied with her hair, so Billy stood up and took the cordless phone into a different room so he could hear better.

It was the nurses at the hospital. They said that they were sorry for his loss and that Neil had passed away that morning. They told him that he was the only one Neil had listed as next of kin, and that they would hold the body until arrangements could be made for his funeral. Then they offered their condolences and told him that he could call back at the number they gave whenever the arrangements had been made. Billy had gone on auto-pilot when he thanked them, and when he hung up, his chest felt hollow. He wasn’t happy or sad or angry or even relieved, no, he just felt numb.

He didn’t want to make the damn funeral arrangements. He didn’t want to have to explain to his kids that the man who’s body they were seeing being lowered into the ground was their grandfather, but they never met him because he hurt their daddy and would’ve probably hurt them, too if he’d ever been given the chance. He didn’t want his father to be dead, but he didn’t know if he was upset about it either. He was too confused and he didn’t know what to feel, but he still felt like he was about to burst with something, so he did the only thing he could think to do.

He took the handheld phone and hurled it at the wall as he let out a deep, animalistic howl of a yell, and crumbled to the floor with his head down and his shoulders hunched to try and keep it all under control. His ears were ringing, so he didn’t hear the six sets of footsteps running towards him from the kitchen until he felt one pair of arms wrap around him gently.

“Hey, Billy, what’s wrong? What happened?” Steve asked, tapping a beat on Billy’s shoulder to help him regulate his breathing, a trick he’d learned years ago and still remembered even though he rarely had to use it anymore.

“That was the hospital,” he said, choking out the words. “He’s dead, Stevie.”

“Who’s dead?” Nathan asked, his blue eyes big and round with questioning.

“Just... somebody that daddy used to know,” Steve said, hoping that that was the right answer. Billy would’ve told him if it wasn’t, but he didn’t say anything now, and neither Nathan nor any of their other kids questioned any further. Instead, they gathered around their father, all piling on top of him to give him kisses and hugs and tell him they loved him. Billy felt like a volcano, but only after the eruption, like his little outburst had been the hard part and now, with the help of his family, the magma was settling and the lava was cooling down into solid rock. He wrapped his arms around all of his kids in the most awkward group hug in the history of group hugs, but not one of them cared. It helped Billy to calm down, and that’s what was important.

*************************************************************

A week after the call from the hospital, the phone rang again, and again, Talia was the one to answer. The handheld had been pieced back together with Steve’s nimble hands and half a roll of masking tape, but it would do for now. Billy still felt bad for breaking the phone, but he’d stopped apologizing for it when Steve told him that if he did it again, he’d break it worse so that he would stop. It was a joke, obviously, but it worked, and Billy had stopped apologizing for it.

They hadn’t had a funeral. Not a real one, at least. Steve had taken the kids again and Billy headed out to Indianapolis again, having to stay overnight this time, but he didn’t care. He hadn’t felt much of anything since the call, and was kind of distant for a few days, but he hoped that once his dad’s body was in the ground and he was back home, he would be okay. He just needed time to process.

Steve and the kids were giving him all the time he needed, the kids making sure they were on their best behavior and Steve doing anything he could to make sure Billy was alright. He’d talked to his therapist and was able to work through it a little bit, but the things Steve and the kids were doing were helping, and he was grateful for it.

He’d only stayed in Indianapolis for two days, one to pick out the casket and set things into motion, and the other to make sure they actually got him in the ground. He didn’t even wait for the headstone to be carved, instead just told them to make sure he got one and that would be that before heading for home once again. Steve and the kids had all run up to him to hug him as soon as he stepped in the door, and, per his request, they all sat on the beach that night and fed the seagulls as they watched the sunset. None of them spoke much, they just sat, but they were all perfectly okay with that. And the next day, Billy started to act like himself again, a little at a time.

Now, he was almost completely back to normal. His head still felt a little heavy, but it was mostly gone, and he didn’t even think twice when Talia handed him the phone and said, “It’s for you, daddy.”

It was the hospital again, but this time, it was much closer to home. Georgia, the lady who was carrying their baby, had just gone into labor and had checked into the hospital. Billy nearly threw the phone again in his rush to get to Steve and tell him the news.

Samantha had decided that she was going to come out a week early, so Billy and Steve had to wrangle five children into their mini-van by themselves as Billy called Max. She and Lucas lived in Pennsylvania, so they were going to be a little while, but Max said she was already leaving work and that they’d be there as soon as they could to get the kids. Billy thanked her and told her which hospital they were going to, then hung up as Steve drove through the town.

When they got there, Steve went to check on Georgia, and Billy stayed in the waiting room with the kids. It was just beginning to get dark out, Leo should’ve already been in bed, but Billy was too jittery to worry about that now. An hour and a half later, Max and Lucas showed up, both hugging him and Steve and saying congratulations before swapping keys with Steve and taking the kids back to the van to head back home. Steve walked them to the elevator and then returned to Billy’s side, holding his hand like he always did and pretending he wasn’t just as nervous until a few hours later, when the nurse finally came out and told them to follow her.

Georgia was asleep by the time they got into the room, but her husband was awake, still holding her hand. He used his other one to shake with Billy and Steve and congratulate them, and finally, the nurse came in with Samantha.

At this point, it was tradition to let Steve hold her first. She was asleep, or at least she looked it, as Steve picked her up, but as soon as he put his hand underneath her head, her eyes opened up and she began to cry. Steve tried to soothe her, but nothing seemed to work, and her little face got red as she continued to scream. It woke Georgia up and she tried to calm her down, but even she couldn’t do anything to quiet the baby.

But this girl had a set of pipes on her, and finally, she had screamed so loud and so long that it was almost excruciating to listen to. Steve took her back from Georgia and tried again, but it was useless, and he sighed.

“Here, Bill, you try and calm her down. Nothing we’re doing seems to be working,” he said, and handed Samantha off to Billy.

As soon as he had her tiny body cradled in his arms, the baby stopped crying. It was almost instantaneous, and even though her face was still a little red and blotchy, she blinked her big eyes up at him and smiled.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Steve smiled, wrapping his arm around Billy’s waist. “Glad to know she’s already chosen her favorite parent.”

Billy wanted to laugh at that, but he couldn’t think about much of anything else at the moment except his daughter’s big, dark eyes boring into his. He smiled at her and rubbed her belly with his finger, making her gurgle and coo in response. She took her own tiny hand and raised it just enough to grab onto Billy’s finger, holding it with an iron grip. Or, at least the newborn equivalent of an iron grip.

She continued to stare into his eyes and hold onto him for a long time, but after a while, her grip weakened and her eyes slipped closed. As she fell asleep in Billy’s arms, Steve came back over from making small talk with Georgia and her husband. Georgia was exhausted, and frankly, so was her husband, and they had begun to fall asleep again as well, leaving Billy and Steve as the only ones awake. Billy was still just staring at Samantha, though, and only noticed Steve by his side when he nudged him lightly with his shoulder.

“Hey,” he said, wrapping his arm around him and playing with the hair on the back of his neck. “You doing okay?”

And when Billy thought about it, he found that he really, really was.

“Yeah,” he replied, “I’ve never been more okay in my entire life.”

#my boys deserve a good happy life with minimal angst #and that's exactly what they're gonna get #and they deserve closure #so they're gonna get that too #and neil hargrove can suck an egg #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #parentgrove

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trekkiepirate · 2 years ago

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I posted 317 times in 2022

49 posts created (15%)

268 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@soundsfaebutokay

@wren-of-the-woods

@ruffboijuliaburnsides

@intheseautumnhands

@a-kind-of-merry-war

I tagged 262 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#joey batey - 67 posts

#the witcher - 45 posts

#jaskier - 26 posts

#the amazing devil - 23 posts

#yennefer - 17 posts

#madeleine hyland - 14 posts

#billy the kid - 11 posts

#other people's damn fine art - 7 posts

#adorable abby - 7 posts

#anya chalotra - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and i also just assume neil gaiman summoned dream and very politely and with due deference asked him if he wanted to play himself in a show

My Top Posts in 2022:

Okay but this time next week I will be IN LONDON!!!

I have been wanting to go to England and London literally all my life. I do not remember when I first wanted to go because I always have. And I am FINALLY GOING!

20 notes - Posted May 25, 2022

BETH. Beth Beth Beth. Joey Batey's soft, sad face and his soft, gentle voice will be my undoing. I am trying to watch Billy the Kid but I keep stopping to poke around at other things because he makes me wanna scream and it's midnight and I would wake the whole neighborhood. It's been an hour, Beth, and I'm only halfway through. Why am I like this. WHY IS *HE* LIKE THIS. I blame him for everything.

Oh my dearling, I am here for when you get to the end of the episode because if you are emotionally compromised NOW just wait until he's wrapped in a blankie and talking to his son about stars and crying I HAVE NOT RECOVERED YET and I watched it like a month ago!

20 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

🪄!

A LYRIC I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT

Surprising no one, it's The Amazing Devil, SPECIFICALLY

Though some would harm you/ none not one no none/ would raise to you/a hand nor thumb/ not while by you/ I stand and hum

First of all, how dare Joey Batey. Second of all, the way the words flow just hits all the happiest places in my brain for sound. Thirdly, the context is just so damn sweet.

23 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Bethhhhhhh you were right you were right in your predictions. Joey is Billy the Kid's dad. Have you seen this trailer yet? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Cw8v1CP9W0

I KNEW IT I BLOODY KNEW IT I SHALL CROW FOR THE REST OF TIME! (and bless you darling, I hadn’t seen it yet)

Also yep, hence the beard and also EXCUSE ME SIR IRISH ACCENT and I mean, I know his dad dies (and Joey’s only in the first episode) but also HOW DARE THEY KILL OFF MY BEST BELOVED JAIL JAIL FOR THE WILD WEST FOR 1000 YEARS

26 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Heath Ledger was fine too.

On his multimillion dollar set with all the cast and crew around him.

Good to know that the world hasn't changed. People still think showing concern for mens' mental health and wellbeing is "infantilizing".

Thanks for showing how little the fandom cares beyond making Jaskier fuck Geralt.

I wasn't going to answer because your tone is very dismissive and very rude, truly I wasn't. But you hit a sore spot.

I AM concerned for Joey's mental health, broadly. He has admitted to (and wrote even a song about) being socially Anxious and I think he may also deal with Depression. So I am worried for him because I know how those conditions can badly affect people, particularly men who are seen as lesser for having and admitting to mental illness(es). If I even vaguely SUSPECTED he was hurt or mistreated on set I'd be at the forefront of the Anger Riot, believe me. But I do not know him personally, so I cannot speak to how things affect him on a day to day level. And Nonny, neither can you. We are fans. We are not his friends or his caretakers. We are outsiders to his life and should take HIS word for how he is treated.

But I also believe Joey was NOT mistreated nor was his mental health irrevocably damaged from filming this scene. Was he shaken because being tied up is strenuous and playing someone being tortured is a mental mind fuck? Yes, of course, he admits that. But he is an amazing actor and yes, it can take time to return from the dark places one's mind can go, especially for a scene like that. But he came back. He came back and moved on and did his next scenes and finished filming and moved on to further projects and is probably preparing for season 3 as we speak. And moreover, he's DONE IT BEFORE. Yes, he's new to a recurring role on large scale shows like The Witcher but Joey has been working at a decent clip since before he left Cambridge, both on stage and screen.

He has a torture scene in Wolf Hall/Bring Up The Bodies, the play he did right out of drama school (and where the gods saw fit to introduce him to Madeleine Hyland and thus brighten not only their own lives but all ours). I have heard it, he SCREAMS. He cries, he sounds very very NOT OKAY. But y'know what? He was. Joey has done death scenes and stunts and has played characters in very dark mental places. So doing a physically and mentally and emotionally demanding scene is not new to him. And he did it on a set full of people that Joey specifically mentions multiple times in multiple interviews as being supportive of him, looking after him. He mentioned having panic/anxiety attacks (I believe anxiety but cannot recall exactly which rn) and that his friends and colleagues on The Witcher were incredibly supportive and kind to him. I place his own words about his experience as closer to the truth of the matter than people who are misconstruing what sounds like a scary situation to them, out of context. That's why I made the post, to give context to how these sorts of things usually go.

Are there still sets where an experience like this was probably the worst of an actor’s life? Yes, of course, we know this. But it is not the majority and I cannot believe that was the case here.

I cannot speak to Heath Ledger's experience, I wasn't engaged enough to read all his interviews the way I do Joey's. Though I was shocked and utterly heartbroken when he died. As I was with Robin Williams. As I was when I learned how River Phoenix and Jonathan Brandis died, after the fact. I think caring about men's mental health is GREAT and necessary and bloody important and that more people SHOULD care. But I think creating issues where there were none is not the way to go about it.

Lastly, honestly at this point I'm more on the Yennskier train. I can separate what I WANT from what the show GIVES because that's the point of fandom and fic. Going "Okay but WHAT IF these characters DID kiss?" But this isn't about shipping. It's not about pitting characters or ships or actors or people against each other. This is about how people are overly worrying about Joey's mental health and not Anya's. Or Freya's even. Both had dark mental places to go this season (and last season), both had physically taxing scenes. Anya was also restrained in a torture scene this season, but no one drew a comparison even though it is easy to make. No one asked if she was okay. No one worried she was mistreated they way some folks have claimed Joey was.

I think it boils down to some people want to hate the show and the people who make it, but not hate Joey. So if they can say Joey was mistreated (and I truly, TRULY believe he was not) on set or by the show then they can justify being a fan of his while hating on a show he SPECIFICALLY calls the best job he's ever had. Where he mentions again and again that he was supported by everyone: cast, crew and creatives.

So, I do think it is infantilizing to dismiss His Own Words because they don't fit the idea some folks have formed of who he is or how he is treated on set. I would highly recommend reading this interview: https://boysbygirls.co.uk/conversations/joey-batey (done AFTER FILMING) as it is a very in-depth and revealing one about who Joey really is and how he operates in the world and how he finds his equilibrium when it's thrown off, whether by work or life in general. He has a good support system, Madeleine of course and he mentions his sisters. He has good coping mechanisms, creating music and writing and building furniture apparently that was a new one. :) I think he has one of the healthiest perspectives on life I have ever heard and I think it has taken him years and support and work to get there for himself. And I am very glad he seems to be doing so well in his life. Because I want him to be happy and healthy.

Joey was and is fine. Your concern about him is good! Caring about him is good! Your misplaced anger is not good.

61 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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lucygraysboy · 4 months ago

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“my girl.” melting into a puddle upon hearing lucy gray’s sweet voice confirm that she indeed is his, billy wonders if she can feel his heart thundering in his chest with how close they are and if she knows she’s to blame for it. adoring gaze flickering to her beauty mark, he can’t help himself and kisses it, too. the pad of his thumb gently stroking the skin afterwards, admiring and loving on it some more. “i’d been dreamin’ ‘bout this moment for so long, never thought it’d happen in virginia, though. if front of a target? well, that one i could have predicted, with it bein’ your favorite place in the world,” he playfully teases, a laugh escaping his lips. his breath coming out in puffs of white frosty clouds. staying still as her mitten-clad fingers tug down on his beanie, covering the tips of his ears and keeping them warm. “thank you for makin’ sure my ears don’t turn to icicles,” he coos, marveling at her for a few more seconds before deciding he unfortunately has to start walking again, unless they want to die out here. one hand reluctantly leaving her body to grab onto the cart handle and pull it towards lucy gray’s truck.

“oh, i remember that so well.” and just like that he’s laughing again, thinking about their younger years and how she was never an ordinary girl. they watched snow white and rapunzel and other disney productions together, played with baby dolls and barbies and action figures, but she could also outrun most of the neighborhood boys, get dirty and make mud pies in the rain, climb trees, race her bike alongside his for hours, play cowboys and indians… they always did everything together. “they were idiots with fragile egos, even at the tender age of six,” he chuckles, but genuinely means it. anyone who doesn’t see how amazing lucy gray is, is a dimwit in his eyes, regardless of age. “i wasn’t gonna let ‘em tell you no or turn you into some damsel in distress when you was the mightiest cowgirl in the whole wild west. my hero.” he genuinely loved playing with her, loved how they could switch roles and if one day she was saving him, then the next he got to save her.

“those boys weren’t half as creative or dedicated as you.” he kisses one of her warm cheeks, deciding to playfully counter, “you know what? i think i loved you first.” stifling a smirk, snow crunching beneath his heavy boots as they tread through the fluffy white blanket. “you got the keys or are they in my jacket?” he wonders aloud, having spotted her car. he squeezes her close to him, knowing he’ll be coming back to this moment when he’s back in new york city, wishing to relive it. “you know what, i’m glad you still haven’t treaded me for a younger stallion.” laughing as she nudges his waist, he lets go of the cart for a second and grabs her by the ankle. squeezing. three times.

"why, sure i am." accent chimes, cheeky smile adorning her olive features. happy to have that affect on him. angelic hues glimmering sweet like a sea of warm maple at what she stares at, her adorable faced boy she loves with all her heart. it didn't feel right not having him hanging against her heart in that picture in her locket, now she regretted trying to throw it out. fingers move underneath her mittens to fix his hat, pulling the material further down over his ears to make sure they don't get cold.

once his eyes open to meet hers, her heart does back flips at the prettiest sea of mysterious blue. she'd been staring at him her whole her life and she still would never get over, being mesmerized, how beautiful he is– on the outside and inside. "not just the boys, alright? i loved playin' cowboys and indians too when we were little ole youngins. you're the only boy who'd let me play, though. fair n' square, i mean." when she wanted her girl cowgirl to come and save the day, but the neighborhood boys were always throwing a fit about her being the winner, her being the hero... because 'she was a girl' and 'ew, so that means you can't be!'. lucy gray as a little girl would throw far more than a hissy about that. the only thing that stopped her from stomping her cowboy boots in mud trying to splatter on them and crying with her arms crossed, was billy being the one to let her win. "and that's why i was in love with you even at six." she laughed, her cheeks blushing admitting all this.

"oh, darlin'. you don't gotta tell me twice." about following him around. she's done that her whole life, she'd never stop now. "i will, i'll definitely show you next time." the brunette beams, she'll just have to be careful to not let him stumble over the other more secretive pages. "okay, we will." feeling optimistic, it almost was scary to let her heart soar so loudly and excitedly, feeling all the positivity in making her life with him work. but, decided to push away any of those fears trying to nag at her since her worries was always the wedge of conflict that she seemed to always dagger between them when she allowed those anxieties and trust issues to win. "yeah, walk us on over there so we can start loadin' this stuff. i'll hang onto you. giddy up." foot gently nudged his waist, smiling amusingly as she urges him to start moving like one of her horseys.

#billysgirllol #THE HORSEY PARALLELS KILL ME 😭😭😭😭 the fact that he gets to be her horsey in both eras 😭 BYE ITS SO PRECIOUS #SJSNSNS AND YES 😈😈😈😈😈 LETS DO IT!! maybe while he’s showing her these pictures he’s got on his phone of his new friends and telling her who #is who she could ask some random question bout how some girl is looking at him with hearts in her eyes or something #and like ?? ITS PERFECTLY NORMAL TO WONDER IF YOUR BFS BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WHILE YOU WERE APART SO #and he’s gonna panic and lie 😂 LYING TO LG NEVER ENDS WELL SMH #and then emily / emma sends that text JXJSJS BYE #PLS BOTH OF THESE SCENARIOS WORK AMAZING #EITHER WAY HELL BE SO SHOCKED AND OMGOSH THIS WILL BE THE ULTIMATE ANGST 😭😭😭😭😭

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dreamysoshi · 3 years ago

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MY TOP 9 ALBUMS OF THE YEAR

planet her // doja cat :: of course this album is a slay. doja is so talented and one of my favorite people. you can see how much effort she puts into her work, and how much she’s grown as an artist from her days of self-production

donda // kanye west :: okay like lord knows i’m not a kanye stan. i respect him as an artist but never listened to his stuff really, until this...and THIS...is actually incredible. some tracks aren’t as strong but ‘jonah,’ ‘hurricane,’ ‘priase lord,’ among some others are fantastic and so moving

30 // adele :: the long awaited return of our queen adele. it was much less ‘poppy’ than 25 i think, and you can really see how she drew from black r&b performers. also the decision to have spotify take away the shuffle button...not only an incredible voice but an amazing songwriter.

moodswings in order // DPR IAN :: CL’s boyfriend du jour knows how to make MUSIC. i’m a fan of the DPR system as a whole, but i do like this album the best maybe it’s because it’s english and i can understand this was a very unexpected find for me

the chaos chapter: fight or escape // txt :: so...txt is giving what all 4th gen boy groups should be giving. they really kill every genre and this emo pop punk turn was unexpected but very cool. also their vocals on anti-romantic are fantastic. truly one of the only bgs i enjoy nowadays.

heaux tales // jazmine sullivan :: i hadn’t really listened to her before or seen anyone talking about her but when grammy noms came out i gave it a listen and this is ART. she deserves all the newfound hype. stream ‘put it down’ and ‘lost one’

only lovers left // woodz :: honestly thank GOD x1 failed because then we wouldn’t be gifted this iconic album. this kid is making nothing but indie r&b bops, i could snort this album like cocaine

sour // olivia rodrigo :: the wunderkind, so to speak. this is the teenage angst pop album i was missing when i was 17. she shows mastery of multiple genres and her voice is quite strong. she deserves all her popularity.

lilac // IU :: IU doesn’t make bad music. this is actually playfully jazzy, i enjoyed the title track a lot, she really performs some vocal gymnastics. also plus five points for getting dean to come out of his cave for a collab

honorable mentions: solar power // lorde, star-crossed // kacey musgraves, life is a bi... // BIBI, peaches // kai, red (taylor’s version) // taylor swift, montero // lil nas x, an evening with silk sonic // bruno mars&anderson.paak&silk sonic, happier than ever // billie eilish

i’ll tag @juanitasupreme, @stepmom, @scortchedtoast, @jennigarner, @blondekimlip

#personal #music #tell me your top 9 albums of this year!#i can't wait to hear them

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disneytva · 4 years ago

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Disney Announces Tons Of New Shows And Movies For Disney+ For Their 2022/2023 Lineup

Disney Has Annnounced Via #DisneyAprilFoolsInvestorDay New Show And Movies From Disney Branded Television This For Their 2021-2022 Lineup

MOVIES

Big City Greens The Movie: A European Adventure Q4 2023

Cricket has always wondered where his place in the world is but when his beloved pet Phoenix is mistaken by a Interpol police dog,The Green Family most go trought all Europe to find her the problems arrive when during a misuderstanding at Italy The Green Family, Remy and Gloria become Europe’s Most Wanted family!

Fish Hooks University Q2 2023 When a new tank arrives at Bud’s Pets during the summer season in anticipation for the first day of collegue, the gang discovers the freedom that is the ocean and now the gang Milo, Bea And Oscar must figure out to save their friends from Fresh Water town and be free on the Ocean

Billy Dilley’s Super Duper Subterranean Summer Movie Q3 2023 Billy Dilley has been wondered that now his life most be perfect now that he is trapped in Subterratania but when a evil conquering empire is set to destroy Subterratania, Billy Dilley, Marsha and Zeke most find their own courage to save thei r other hometown and find a way to return to the surface!

The Ghost And Molly McGee Movie: Scratch’s Origins Q4 2022 Molly McGee and Scratch have been friends for a year since the curse started but on the friendniversary party a evil team captures Scratch to use him for a ritual for a powerful sorceress, Molly McGee most team up with two criminal YoKai's to rescue him in the journey Molly most learn how to amend fences with the Yokai’s and save her friend before its to late filled with music and a epic friendship tale

SERIES

GwenPool Q4 2022

Disney+ presents the amazing,butt-kickery and what you know PR team this PR can be better BTW anywhoo...... in this epic tales of the young Gwendolyn Poole (Voiced By Noël Wells ) we will showcase her origins and her epic tales as henchman and to being part of her team The West Coast Avengers Gwenpool is a production of Disney Television Animation And Powerhouse Animation In Assosiation With Marvel

Lockjaw And The Pet Avengers Q2 2023

Lockjaw (Jack McBrayer) an oversized dog and pet of the Inhuman Royal Family, finds the Mind Gem, which increases the animal's intelligence togheter with his new friends The cat Hairball, the diminutive dragon Lockheed, the falcon Redwing, the frog Throg, and the puppy Ms. Lion will save the pet world from dangers set in the same events as popular MCU title Lockjaw And The Pet Avengers is a production of Disney Television Animation And Studio La Cachette In Assosiation With Marvel

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Q1 2023 Young Doreen ( Amanda Michalka) begins her college career at Empire State University, majoring in computer science. Upon arriving, she ends up fighting Kraven the Hunter, who was lashing out at the local squirrels including Tippy Toe when Galactus is coming to earth she most train and learn how is to become the strongest hero of earth The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl is a production of Disney Television Animation And Studio Mir In Assosiation With Marvel

Ferdinand Tales Q3 2023 Ferdinand would much rather smell the flowers than butt heads with the other cows after the events of The Academy nominated film Ferdinand most help his other friends and Lupe in finding their own you’s after being in La Casa Del Toro for a long time Ferdinand Tales is a production of Disney Television Animation And 20th Television Animation

House Of Mouse Revisited Q4 2023 It’s been 25th Years since Mickey Mouse and his friends operated a dinner theater club in downtown ToonTown. now things have changed as the family got bigger with heroes, stormtroopers, Muppets and Naʼvi ‘s. Oswald The Lucky Rabbit who gets inspired by those old times decides to open on Oh My Disney’s section a new House Of Mouse these time featuring new cartoons from the rabbit causing hijinks! Who's that knockin' at the House of Mouse? We're all knockin' at the House of Mouse

House Of Mouse Revisited is a production of Disney Television Animation And Mercury Filmworks

Esmerald And Her Big Great Idea From The World Of Phineas And Ferb, Milo Murphy’s Law & Hamster And Gretel Danville has seen everything from Aliens, Heroes,Alternate Versions Of Themselves etc... but that dosn’t bother Esmerald (Sofia Carson) but her life as a collegue starter might change when a Spaceship with the Galaxy’s most dangerous criminals crashes in her backyard, after learning the sinister plans of the gang, Esmerald will use one of her big great ideas as she will try to make them learn that earth is fun and that in reality crimes like that can be reformed! Esmerald And Her Big Great Idea Is The First Serialized Series By The Makers Of Phineas And Ferb and is a production of Disney Television Animation

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tuney-and-looney · 3 years ago

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My sort-of comprehensive yet very opinionated and too deep of a dive into the voice actors of Elmer.

hey ya'll. i have a long weekend, so I have more time to absorb my cringe and rate each voice actor for my man. it's an idea i had for the past few days and really pondered as to who i prefer and why. so here we gooooooo. btw, i'm going in chronological order to help with organization purposes and stuff. also, i will definitely change these numbers in the future but the notes will probably stay the same.

Danny Webb - 7.5/10

He feels fun, fresh, funky; which is funny given that he's technically the first proper voice actor from the 30's. It's not elmer's actual voice, and it's also an impression of another actor, Joe Penner. BUT. he's fun. you can definitely tell that he has a lot of fun, and that also bleeds into elmer/egghead. he definitely feels like a proper fit for the zany and wacky vibes that the early LT/MM shorts. I really recommend watching at least one short to get those zanies into you!

Arthur Q. Bryan - 8.5/10

the OG. the main man. the one that really started it all.

he's a really big pushover at first, but over time became more assertive and gave more of a reason for bugs to be around him and bother and torment (and love). i like how his voice is mainly very quiet (haha get it), but it almost feels too quiet. he never really gets a moment to get angry and bombastic. in fact, mel sometimes had to fill in for the louder moments because Arthur just couldn't do it (SMOG!)

i feel like there's both a lot of material and not that much in terms of how much material arthur was given. then again, he did die of a heart attack so suddenly, so maybe that context for me personally made me feel like we would have a lot more opportunities.

that being said, solid and wonderful and amazing and beautiful and deep and lovely and talented and pure performances all around from him.

Mel Blanc - 5/10

he is, uh. he is.

so uh, if i remember correctly, he said at first that he never wanted to take arthur's role, but then he said sike and took the role anyway. in fact, he went on the reduce arthur's influence more and more as mel was becoming a household name. i just, mel after arthur's untimely death always urks me the wrong way. like, he would try to claim elmer amongst all the other roles he's done.

Ferris Wheelhouse had a really wonderful video that talked about this issue during his "Bugs Bunny in King Arthur's Court" review. unfortunately, it seems to be gone, and if i find it again, i will definitely link it here!

other than that, the voice itself: very, very iffy. makes me feel like that old guy with the cigar at the comedy club who says that he can do great cartoon impressions but, just can't. and it sucks. cause that's mel blanc here. and i like him. makes me real sad.

Hal Smith - 6/10

so his voice is almost the same quality as mel, but at least he feels like he's not actively trying to take control and try to shove arthur aside. he's trying his best, but again, just doesn't cut to the sheer quality of arthur's voice. not really much to say but, he's there, and he tried.

Jeff Bergman - 9/10

he wasn't too bad at first. he definitely tried to capture arthur's personality and voice mannerisms. i like box office bunny and just the vibes that he gives off in that short. blooper bunny was also really nice. he just seems like a guy that would be really pleasant to be around.

then New Looney Tunes/Wabbit came out. and then the HBO Max shorts.

holy shitttttttt. i never realized how much i would love his performance. because, here's the thing: he's manic as hell. he's chaotic. he's a scumbag. he's a diva. he's a bitchy, bitchy man. and i L O V E it.

i love how these new shorts make him both sympathetic, yet when he can be a bitch, HE'S ALLOWED TO. i never realized how much i wanted it until a couple years after Wabbit aired.

the voice: it's pretty okay. not my favorite voice, but he gives something fresh enough to feel fun and fancy free.

Billy West - 9/10

oh buddy of boys and buckets of fuck, here we go.

so, i grew up with his version, ever since the start of my hyperfixation. he's always felt my favorite. he gives something that sounds the closest to what bryan did during the good ole days. he gave elmer more of a cleaner edge. west often calls him the "0 to 60" type of guy, and yeah, i definitely see that.

here's the thing, though: west is my favorite voice, not my favorite character variation.

i feel like WB constantly underutilizes west's talent to go really zany with his fudd. whenever he does, once in a blue moon, he's REALLY good. like, too good. my sanity and my appreciation: snatched and kissed with a thousand roses. we love to see a chaotic yet loving man.

the more i reflect on this notion of his version, the more i appreciate the performances that he gave. although, sometimes, he feels like he doesn't know the context of the situation, but goddammit he is trying his best. god i miss him. father please come back, i need my meals. we need meals.

Greg Burson - 7/10

....we don't talk about him. moving on.

Eric Bauza - 8.5/10

not a lot of material yet from him, but i adore anything he has done so far. his performance in space jam 2 was really solid; feels like a mix of greg and jeff's performances. i hope to see so much more from him. can't really give too much yet because i need more material from him. overall, really wholesome that one be.

so yeah, those are my 11 pm thoughts on the matter. expect somewhat new thoughts to be added in the distant future. otherwise, please send me your thoughts; i love reading them and answering them on here!

#elmer fudd #billy west #jeff bergman #eric bauza #arthur q bryan #looney tunes #space jam 2 #mel blanc #greg burson #danny webb #hal smith #i'm so tired #if it feels like i rambled in some parts please let me know please and thanks i wanna give ya'll quality content

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ladybender · 2 years ago

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The VA's talent is over this world

I'll add some more I remember from the top of my head but in the commentary there is a lot of amazing fun facts and they are just delightful to listen to

John DiMaggio can beatbox and has done so as robot santa and several other times in the show (if you hear beatboxing it's probably him)

John DiMaggio and Billy West did a commentary as fry and bender if they were actor on the show one time (I don't remember the episode tho sorry, but it was hilarious)

They tried to cast someone else to voice lars but then Billy West just did the voice himself and it sounded amazing, literally like fry but with a burned throat

Billy West is autistic with ADHD? Huh. The more you know.

(Thanks, Futurama fan group and today's post about the cast and crew having a billion talents)

#futurama #sorry I don't remember more #I should honestly and seriously watch through the commentaries again #my beloved

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beautifultypewriter · 3 years ago

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Stage Door ~ Sean Wallace

Requested: No

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2,062

Pairing: Sean Wallace x fem!oc

Summary: When Sean is dragged to the theatre with his family the last thing he expects is to meet a young woman who captures his attention so brilliantly.

A/N: I have so much to say, so please bear with me. First of all, since Gangs of London is now on AMC, I am able to watch it and honestly I have missed seeing Joe Cole on my tv screen. Like I don’t completely understand what’s happening on this show (I’m only on episode 6 - I am behind), but I dig it and mostly because of him. This is written with my OC. I use her name, but there’s no description of her other than the mention that she is Irish, so I’m gonna tag it the way I’m gonna tag it. I doubt anyone is even going to read this. Also it’s written in 3rd person instead of my usual 2nd. Also it takes place before any of the events from the show.

The theatre was the absolute last place that Sean wanted to be that night, but his father had gotten the tickets as a way to make his mother happy, so he couldn’t say no. Sean couldn’t say no to his father about anything really. Going to the theatre on a Friday night was the least of his worries. The lights flickered and Sean looked up, wondering how a fancy theatre in the West End would have flickering lights, but then he noticed everyone else sitting in their seats and ending their idle chatter. Then the lights turned off completely and the curtain rose, the orchestra beginning a slow but strong tune. Sean wasn’t entirely sure what this play was supposed to be about, but his mother had raved about how great it was, so he figured he would try to pay attention.

Paying attention was easier said than done. There was so much going on in just the beginning and Sean was having trouble keeping the different characters straight. All the singing wasn’t really helping either. He desperately wanted to close his eyes, but his mother was right next to him and he didn’t want to disappoint her. When he was sure he could get away with it, he let his head roll back just a bit and he squeezed his eyes shut. This had to be over soon. Sean felt someone squeeze his arm and just as quickly as he closed his eyes, his attention was back on the stage.

And there she was. A simple dress and a timid look on her face as the other actors on the stage surrounded her and sang at her with threatening tones. Sean couldn’t pull his eyes away from her. He watched her fall apart on stage, the scene changing to some shady alleyway and new actors replacing the others, but still just as menacing towards the woman. The timidness that had been on her face previously had melted away to fear to exhaustion to hopelessness. And for the first time since the show had started, the chaos of the stage slowed, and everyone moved away to the wings… everyone except for her. She was alone, still in her simple dress, crumpled on the floor in the middle of the stage. The music carried lightly through the space as she lifted herself up, her arms wrapping loosely around her frame and her voice small as she sang. Sean watched her every move. His eyes trailed over her form, gliding over each and every tiny movement of her head, the rise and fall of her chest as her voice gained power and the music swelled. Sean could feel himself sliding forward in his seat, wanting to be as close to her as he could be. The woman’s voice flooded his senses, and he was finding it difficult to breathe. His chest tightened at the pain in her voice and he briefly wondered how she was able to do all this.

And then it all stopped. Her voice faded out and Sean could breathe again as she stared out into the audience without really seeing them. Everyone around him was applauding, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. He just stared.

The story carried on and her character died, and Sean found himself losing interest now that she was no longer on the stage. It wasn’t until later, at the very end of the production that she came back. He straightened up as she glided onto the stage, still in a simple dress, but this one white, and a serene smile on her face. Her voice was soft and comforting now and if Sean had been different then he may have cried at the feeling she was pulling from his chest.

The curtain fell shut and everyone was on their feet, applauding. Sean stood slowly as he clapped along with the crowd. The curtain rose again, and the cast came out to take their final bows. He searched for her and he found her nestled between her castmates, a small smile on her face as they stepped forward and clasped hands, bowing until the curtain fell on them again. Sean stared at the spot where she had been as everyone filed out around him, his own family lingering by their seats for a moment until his father was approached by a man. He had missed most of the conversation, but snapped to attention when Jac looped her arm with his and started pulling him after Billy and their parents. He leaned down to his sister, “Where are we going?”

She shook her head, a quiet laugh on her lips, “Backstage tour,” she rolled her eyes, “only the best for the Wallace family.”

Sean had never cared much for the theatre, but he was honestly impressed with the backstage. The mechanics of the curtain and the different set pieces was something that did interest him, and he reached out to touch one of the ropes, but stopped when the man’s voice sounded from in front of him,

“Ah and here we have our own Fantine,” he held his arms out and she was there. Sean tensed as he looked her over. She was still in her white dress, and she was still smiling, only now she looked almost shy. The man motioned her forward, “May I present Imogen O’Connor.” She gave a small wave as she looked over each member of the Wallace family. The man continued, “Imogen, this is Finn Wallace, a very influential businessman here in London.”

She held her hand out and Sean’s father kissed her knuckles briefly as he smiled at her, “I have my family here with me.” He turned to the rest of them and motioned to his wife, “My wife, Marian,” then he turned to the children, “my daughter Jacqueline, and my sons, Billy,” Sean’s brother gave her a small smile and a wave, “and Sean.” Her eyes landed on him, and Sean couldn’t breathe again.

She smiled at him before turning to the group again, a familiar lilt to her voice as she addressed them all, “It’s a pleasure to meet you and thank you for coming to the show.” Her eyes fell on Sean again, “I do hope you enjoyed it.” He wanted to open his mouth and tell her that yes, he enjoyed her very much, but her attention was stolen by his mother.

Marian had beamed at the woman, “It was a lovely show, and your performance was spectacular.”

Imogen smiled as she looked down to her feet, “Thank you, that’s kind of you to say.”

His father stepped forward again, “From up North then?”

“Aye, Cavan.” Sean looked between the three as they made small talk, wanting to interject, but having no cause to do so.

His father smiled wistfully, “Oh? Cavan’s beautiful, I hear.”

She nodded, “Yes, sir, it is. Nothing like London.” The two of them laughed and Sean caught her eye again, causing her to look down.

His mother smiled, “How long have you been in London?”

Imogen shrugged as she looked around, “Oh, not long. A couple of months.” She nodded as she looked behind her for a brief moment then turned back to his mother, “Still trying to get used to the big city.” She smiled at them all again, “I’m terribly sorry, but I’ve got to be goin’. It was a pleasure to meet you all and thank you again.” There were a few mumbled goodbyes and Sean watched her walk away from their group. She turned back once to smile at him and he managed a small wave in her direction.

It was only a few nights later that Imogen found herself backstage after another successful performance, a few of the other girls around her as she stared into a mirror, wiping off her makeup. The week had been a long one and she was glad for the day off tomorrow.

“Imogen, you’ve got an admirer.” The Cavan girl turned to her castmate to see her pointing over her shoulder towards the door to their dressing room.

Imogen shook her head, “Catch yourself on, Sam. Who’d be waitin’ out there for me?”

Samantha shrugged as she smiled, “I don’t know. All I know is that a fit lad is out there asking for you and he’s got a big bouquet of flowers in his hand.” Imogen could feel her body heat up. She truly didn’t know anyone in the city, so who could possibly be bringing her flowers? She didn’t have any more time to dwell on the question though because she was being gently shoved towards the door, Samantha’s quiet laughter ringing in her ears.

Imogen stumbled out into the hallway; the dressing room door swinging shut behind her. She cleared her throat as she hesitantly looked up to see her “admirer.” A smile broke out on her face when her eyes met those of the young man from the other night, “Mr. Wallace.”

Sean’s face twisted as he shook his head, “Please, just Sean.”

She nodded to him, her smile growing smaller, “Sean.”

He seemed to relax as his shoulders dropped and he smiled at her, “Miss O’Connor.” Imogen pursed her lips as she folded her arms over her chest and Sean laughed, glancing down and back up quickly, “Imogen.” She smiled again, tucking some hair behind her ear as she looked down at his shoes. He cleared his throat, gaining her attention, and held out a bouquet of pink lilies towards her, “These are for you.” Reaching out, she gently took the flowers in both her hands, looking them over. She looked up at him, but before she could get a word out, he was speaking again, “That was an amazing performance.” He pointed over his shoulder, towards the stage, nodding his head.

She smiled, “Thank you and thank you for the flowers,” she looked down at the bouquet again, “they’re beautiful.” Imogen looked up to Sean again, quickly glancing behind him, “Here alone tonight?” She gave him a knowing smile and he nodded.

“Thought I might treat myself to a night at the theatre.” Before she could stop herself, Imogen let out a laugh, which she then tried to cover up by pulling the flowers up to her nose. Sean looked offended as he placed his hand over his chest, “Do I not look like the type of man to enjoy the arts?”

Trying to control her smile, Imogen lowered the flowers, “Truthfully?” Sean nodded and she bit her lip, his eyes darting to the movement as she shook her head, “No, not really.”

He scoffed, a smile threatening to break loose, “What kind of man do I look like then?”

Tilting her head from side to side, Imogen narrowed her eyes and brought her index finger to rest against her chin. Sean grinned as he held his arms out to the side, his head tilted slightly as he waited for her to finish her assessment. She smiled, “You look the type of man who does his honest day’s work and then goes down the pub for a drink with his mates, watches whatever game is on the telly.” Sean nodded and she chuckled.

He stepped closer to her, “If we’re being truthful then the reason I came down to the show tonight was because I wanted to see you again and I thought that, if you had the time, then I could show you around London,” he shrugged one shoulder, “help you get used to the place.” Imogen tightened her grip on the lilies as Sean’s words rattled around in her brain.

Then she smiled at him, “I’ve a free day tomorrow and no plans.” Her eyes moved down to the floor again as she cleared her throat.

Slowly, Sean placed his fingers under her chin and lifted until their eyes met and then he smiled, “Tomorrow it is then.” She nodded at him, moving quickly to peck his cheek before she stepped back from him, waving as she slipped back into the dressing room. The door was ajar and he could hear a few voices whispering to each other as he stood waiting, rocking back on his heels. The whispering ended abruptly and Imogen was in front of him again.

She held out a slip of paper as she smiled, “Tomorrow.”

#sean wallace x reader #sean wallace x oc #sean wallace imagine #gangs of london imagine

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itspufflehuff · 4 years ago

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Spidey - Sebastian Stan x Holland!Reader

Summary: Being Tom Holland’s twin sister isn't all that bad. You each live your own lives and have your own successes. You don’t get to visit Tom on set much but when you finally make it to Comic Con will there be a special someone there for you to meet?

Hi! This is my first post in here so please let me know what you think! If you ever have suggestions or you find a mistake in my writing feel free to message me. Thank you and enjoy!

MATERLIST // TAGLIST

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four |

Word Count: 2,840

~~~~

Being Tom's twin wasn't as intimidating as people expected.

Sure he was Spider-Man but you still had your own success. Tom went for the big screen but you went for the big stage, Broadway.

You started with local shows, then you went on to be ensemble on West End. Soon you became an understudy for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It wasn't too long until you got the lead as Elphaba in the West End production of Wicked. With the attention you got as Elphaba you were scouted to audition for Broadway.

Seemingly around the same time Tom's fame skyrocketed so did yours. You two were so proud and happy for the other.

You decided to move out to New York seeing as how you were performing eight times a week.

Tom was your best friend so after every show, he called to ask how it went and to update you on his Spider-Man shenanigans.

The years came and went. You were still going strong on Broadway taking up different roles and Tom was still Spider-Man. He always talked about how fun it was being apart of the Marvel cast. You had still yet to meet anyone besides his Spider-Man co-stars like Zendaya and Jacob. Whenever they were doing a press event with the entire Marvel cast you were busy doing a show. Then one day you got a call to play Spider-Gwen.

You were so shocked when you got the call. You happened to be in your dressing room getting ready for a rehearsal. You sat there shocked, "Spider-Gwen?"

"Yes! Sony is making an animated Spider-Man and they think you would be perfect as Spider-Gwen. You wouldn't have to leave New York too long, just for some auditions. If you get the part you can do your recordings there."

"I don't know what to say." You were shocked. This is amazing! Imagine Tom's face when he finds out you're Spider-Man, well kind of.

"Say yes!"

"Yes!!"

~~~~

This was your first time attending Comic-Con. You never had a purpose to go before or even time. Now that you're apart of the Into the Spider-Verse cast you were attending so many different types of events you never did before. It was quite fun.

"Tom!" You shouted as soon as you saw him. You were in the middle of an interview but you didn't care. You hadn't seen your brother in ages. Tom laughed and walked over to you.

You two hugged and the interviewer spoke, "Our two favorite Spideys! Tom, how are you? What do you think of Y/N being Spider-Gwen?"

He laughed, "I'm doing well, I think it's great we have another Spider-Man in the family! But just so everyone knows I am the better Spidey." Everyone laughed.

"Sure you are." You playfully rolled your eyes.

"You're just a cartoon, I actually have to do flips and stuff," Tom argued.

You let out a 'pfft' before you spoke, "I could do the same things you can, you're not that special Tom."

"Alright, let's see it then!" He challenged.

"What? Right now?"

"Yes right now, come on let's go."

"Tom, I'm in heels."

He playfully rolled his eyes, "Heels aren't even that hard to jump around in, Y/N."

You looked to the interviewer who watched you twins bicker, "He did one dance wearing heels and he thinks he's amazing," turning to your brother you continued, "Newsflash Tommy I do that eight times a week."

The interviewer let out an 'ooo' as if you got him good. Everyone laughed as the interview wrapped up, "Well thank you for your time Y/N and thank you for joining Tom."

"Come on I want you to finally meet everyone." Tom grabbed your arm and pulled you along.

He basically ran through the crowd dragging you along behind him. When you finally got to where the rest of the Marvel cast was you and Tom were immediately surrounded by interviewers before you got to meet anyone.

Knowing neither of you were going to get through without at least one interview you both gave up trying to get by and stopped for an interview, "The Holland twins it's so amazing to see you both here today! How are you both?"

You answered first, "Thank you, I'm so excited to be here this is my first time so I'm a little nervous."

"Don't be nervous sis, just watch the pro." He smugly adjusted the jacket he had on.

You laughed and rolled your eyes as the interviewer asked another question, "Has there been any sibling rivalry now that both of have taken on the role of Spider-Man?"

You both looked at each other then Tom spoke, "You know what I was never mad because I know she's trying to be like her big brother which is flattering really."

You didn't notice before but next to Tom a couple of his castmates were doing an interview as well. The only reason you noticed them was because one of them came up to Tom and said, "Seriously Tom keep it down! Man, dude can't even do an interview without being a diva." You recognized him right away Anthony Mackie and next to him Sebastian Stan. Both you and Sebastian laughed at Anthony's obvious joke.

Tom looked down slightly embarrassed as he was trying to act smug before your interview was interrupted. "Y/N were you intimidated to take on Spider-Gwen knowing your brother was Spider-Man?"

"Umm, not really." you laughed, "I was actually really excited and thought it would funny to take on the role. I'm sure the casting directors thought the same thing."

The interviewer nodded, "Has there been a time where you two fought to prove who the better Spider-Man is?"

Before Tom could answer you did, "Well just a few minutes ago Tom tried to have a competition between us to see who was better at doing flips."

The three of you laughed, "And did you?"

"No, of course not! It is way too crowded in here and I'm in heels. I'm used to dancing in them not doing stunts. Maybe we can have that competition another time." You suggested to Tom.

He smiled mischievously, "You're on. May the best Spidey win." He held his hand out which you took. You both shook hands in front of the camera closing the deal to have a competition soon.

You didn't know this at the time but Sebastian couldn't take his eyes off of you for the rest of his interview. He knew who you were but never got the chance to meet you in person. Now seeing you several feet ahead of him he couldn't look away. You were more beautiful in person and your smile was radiating. Even after his interview ended he stood to the side watching you.

His eyes followed you as you smiled and waved to the interviewer. You were headed his way, quickly he turned and engulfed himself into a conversation with Chris Hemsworth.

Tom began introducing you to everyone as his little sister. He was only seven minutes older and always treated you like a kid for it. You were most excited to meet Robert Downey Jr. seeing as how he and Tom were so close. You two hit it off right away, he treated you like you were apart of the family.

You made your way down the line, meeting each member of the Marvel cast. You finally made it to Chris Hemsworth, Anthony, and Sebastian, "Hey guys I want you to finally meet my little sister, Y/N."

They all looked to you at you, well more like down at you. They were all so tall towering over.

Thank God I wore heels today.

"Pleasure to meet you," Chris grabbed your hand.

"Finally the famous Y/N! Now tell me was Tom always such a diva or is it just because he's Spider-Man that he's acting like a big shot?" Anthony asked.

You and Tom laughed. He did tell you about how he and Sebastian always teased him.

"Yeah and what about that juice obsession? Like, come on man you're too old for that." Sebastian joined in.

You looked to him and laughed, "You know what I've been telling him the same thing like come on Tom we're in our 20s and you're still hooked on juice like it's you're only will to live." You joked along and turned to Anthony, "As for the diva attitude he's always been this way like we get it you were Billy Elliot get over it!" Everyone laughed as Tom stood there pretending to look offended.

"Well, at least I never went out on stage looking like the green goblin!" He fought back.

"Hey! Elphaba is a very complex and demanding character. You're just jealous you don't have half the talent I do."

"Oh puh-lease, I totally do. Tell me who was it that taught you to dance?"

"Ok fine you have that but acting and singing was all me! All you can do is act and dance. I'm a triple threat."

That shut him up as everyone laughed at him, "I like this one." Anthony said. He reached out to shake your hand which you gladly accepted. He moved to the side, Sebastian happily took over his spot in front of you.

He reached out to shake your hand and when you grabbed it he pulled you in closer, "Just so you know you're my favorite Spidey." He whispered into your ear. A smile arose onto your lips as you pulled away, "Thank you."

"May I also add I think you have a beautiful voice, I want to one of your shows but wasn't able to catch you after the show."

A blush crept up to your face, "Thank you, again." A nervous laugh escaped, "I would've loved to have met you then. Sometimes I escape through the side exits. I love my job but I don't always love the crowds."

"I know what you mean, sometimes after movie premieres, I sneak out through the employee exit just to get away from the crowds."

Neither of you noticed but you were still holding onto each other's hand. It wasn't until Hemsworth cleared his throat beside you two, "Sorry to interrupt but we're heading to the panel room."

You both looked at him and quickly let go of each other's hands. "I'll meet you guys over there." Sebastian nodded to him. Chris looked over to the both of you, "Ok, well once again it was nice to meet you Y/N. I hope to see you soon." He gave you one last smile and walked away. You turned back to Sebastian. He spoke before you did, "I'd love to see you again late."

"Yeah, I'd love that too. I have a panel in twenty minutes. I was going to meet my brother after and join you all for the rest of the day, maybe we can talk more then." You smiled at him.

"Great, I'll see you then." He grabbed your hand gently, pulled it up to his lips, and placed a kiss there. He walked away to where his castmates went leaving you standing there with your heart beating fast.

You meet up with your cast and took photos with fans. Sebastian took up all of the thoughts in your head. You tried to focus on what was happening but your mind wandered off the feel of his lips on your had and how his eyes looked so deeply into yours.

Surprisingly enough your panel flew by. You were able to get Sebastian out of your head and get lost in hanging out with your cast as you answered fan questions. By the end, you walked out the door to see Tom waiting for you talking to some fans.

"Excuse me, I've got to go. It was nice meeting you all!" Tom excused himself from the group and walked towards you. "Ready to go?" He put his arm around your shoulder.

"Let's go." You said with a bit of excitement and nervousness.

Tom didn't notice, however. "So how many of your questions were about me?"

You were lost in thought once again unable to get Sebastian out of your mind, "Huh?"

"I got so many questions about the new Spider-Man in the Holland household." He chuckled.

Finally understanding him you laughed along, "Oh, yeah, I lost count after five. Someone asked about our rivalry so I started a rumor that we haven't spoken in months and I am actively hiding from you during this event."

Tom laughed, "Lucky for you, Mackie and Sebastian started a rumor that I'm a diva at home, so you're scared to be near me."

You laughed louder than you expected, "What?"

"Yes! They asked me about you and Mackie joined in saying you met everyone earlier and told them I've always been a diva. And of course, Sebastian had to join in," He imitated their American accent, "Poor girl looked terrified to be around him."

You both laughed as you walked into the room where the rest of the Marvel cast was.

The moment you walked in Sebastian's stomach flipped, in a good way. You were laughing when you walked in. It was the most amazing laugh he heard, he wanted to able to keep making you laugh like that. He watched as you walked around the room greeting everyone. You stopped at RDJ and Chris Evans. You all talked, but you were too far for Sebastian to hear what about. He saw you smiling from where he was at and he loved it. He excused himself from his friends and made his way to you.

"So, Y/N, what's it like to perform on stage like that? I mean it's all live and you have so much to remember, lines, songs, choreography, blocking." Evans sighed as if the thought of it made him exhausted, "I mean it's incredible."

"It was hard at first but this is my life. I love going up there each night. Sometimes we make mistakes but as long as you don't let the audience know it was a mistake then it doesn't matter. Plus we get to improve sometimes or make scenes better each night by seeing how the audience reacts."

He watched you talk about your work. The way your eyes lit up he could tell you really did love your job. Of course, he already knew that though. When he saw your performance as Eurydice in Hadestown. You had just happened to be there that night as the understudy, but he was glad to see it was you. He recognized you from the pictures on Tom's phone. He knew you were an actress on broadway so when he saw you he knew it was you. He fell in love with your performance that night. Your voice was so beautiful and the emotions you gave were so raw. Your energy was incredible it was as if you fell into the character.

"You should see her perform," He chimed into the conversation making his presence known.

Everyone turned to him, "I never did ask, which show did you see?" You tilted your head.

"Hadestown."

You broke out into a smile, "I know exactly which performance. You know that was the only time I played Eurydice?"

"Really?" His head hung in disbelief. From that performance, he would've been fooled to think you played that character a million times over, "Well you were incredible if I'd known you would be playing the lead I would've told Tom to set us up to meet."

You both smiled at each other for a moment before Tom spoke, "Yeah, that's my sister. I don't like to admit it but she's an amazing actress. Maybe even better than me."

"Maybe? More like definitely." You challenged.

"What show were you working on before coming here?" RDJ asked.

"I was doing an off-broadway production of Mamma Mia. I let my understudy take my place so I could tour and do some promoting for Spider-Verse."

Tom excused himself so he could talk with some of his other castmates. Slowly RDJ and Evans left the conversation leaving you and Sebastian.

"You know I live out in New York as well," Sebastian said casually.

"Really? I just assumed all you movie stars lived out in LA."

"Heck no! I'm a New Yorker. I love it there" He smiled looking at you.

"Maybe we can meet up there someday, now that we're acquainted and all." You suggested nervously.

"Yeah, that would be great. Which part of New York are you in?"

"Ironically Midtown," you laughed. It took him a second but he got it, "Ah yes Spider-Man goes to Midtown." He dropped his head with a chuckle.

"38th and sixth." You clarified. He looked up with eyes wide, "You're kidding? I live on 43rd and ninth! That's like ten minutes away from me." You both stood there in disbelief.

"All of these coincidences, you would think we'd met by now."

He laughed, "Well, we have now. I'd like to keep meeting. If that's ok with you?"

You looked up at him smiling, "I'd love that."

#tom holland #sebastian stan #winter soilder #spiderman #into the spider verse #spider gwen #sebastian stan imagine #mcu #marvel #buck barnes

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fictionalreads · 3 years ago

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Can we talk about All American for a second?

So I know I’m almost a week late but life has been crazy.

Liv and her journalism journey

This is what I wish The Flash had done with Iris West. Yes. I said what I said. I get that the first season was all about introducing characters and focusing on the flash himself but it literally went from journalism is boring to “Oh My God I got a job at CCPN! I’m so happy!” Other than a throwaway comment about her writing about more metas than just the flash there was no thing that got her into the “news” part of journalism. From my understanding she writes about the “mundane” too so what made that not boring anymore? It was a character change overnight that lowkey didn’t make sense.

That got off track, back to Liv. I love how she went from “I need to say something, even if no one listens because I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try” to “The story took on a life of its own, I’m just the vessel. No matter what I want to write about the truth matters and will come out” she’s coming into the point where she’s not writing because she feels she needs to, but rather because the story needs to be written.

Liv and Jordan

On the subject of Liv, I love the way she pushes Jordan. He got upset because she didn’t ask him to help with her assignment and she basically said “it’s not that I don’t think you deserved to be asked, I’m your biggest fan I think you’re amazing. It’s that I need loud and proud and you don’t show that to people. It makes me not throw your name in the mix.”

Then Jordan took that advice with real consideration AND SHOWED UP AND SHOWED OUT! This is the sibling content I’m here for.

Side note, Jordan trying the coach voice 😂😂 Stick to playing baby, stick to playing.

Asher and Coop

I don’t know if I like this friendship. I mean it’s nice that they’re supporting each other but they just seem...off. Who knows it may be a weird combo that I end up loving, even though they probably won’t have much screen time together past these storylines.

Toledo

I knew it was going to be some type of issue. I knew Billy was going to turn down the job cause storyline wise they’ve done the coach and player thing now they’ve gotta find something new for their dynamic.

I knew that coach was on his bullshit from the moment he showed up. Sometimes you just know and I knew.

But here’s the thing, if Spencer goes to Toledo are they going to start him? I mean it sounds like they need him for their team but that coach also seems like the type to cut his nose off to spite his face. So if he goes and they don’t play him, what’s the point?

I was kind of interested in seeing Montez and Spencer team up if she had gotten the Toledo job. Could’ve been fun.

Laura

Laura said we are all a family and I am GOING to see my bonus child play his first college game. I love that.

Her saying “nah don’t make this one about me. Do you want this?” Was a nice touch. But does she still have a job?

Other thoughts

Isaiah seemed sweet

Why was Cam here? He’s annoying.

Spelivia doing cute shit as always and supporting each other.

Finally Coop understanding Layla is not the problem. And Patience pointing that out is what I love to see in relationships. Something about “I got your back but I’m also going to tell you when you fucking up”

#all American #season 4 #Spelivia #is this a meta?#is this what those are?#can someone explain #the flash #sort of #spencer james #olivia baker #laura baker #jordan baker #tamia cooper #asher adams #billy baker

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missroserose · 4 years ago

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OOO honestly so many of those sound good, damnnnn! I'm super curious about Revenge & No Promises, if you wanna talk about them!

Absolutely! Thank you for asking!

“Revenge” is a collection of scenes for a The Lost Boys story that was sort of a proto-version of “After The Shock, The Fall”. I never really had a solid idea of the shape of it, only a vague idea for a concept (”David comes back post-Loma Prieta earthquake to exact his revenge on Michael, but Michael’s grown in that time and ensnares him right back”) and a general vibe. At one point I had Michael working as a bouncer at a club, at another there was a full-on gang warfare scene...I probably wrote three times as much, word-count-wise, as ended up actually going in to the “finished” version. But I’m pretty happy with what came out of it, even if feels a little haunted by all the things it could have been.

“No Promises” was, until recently, my great shame: over 10,000 words of a psychedelic horror piece I’d written for @rhubarbdreams for a holiday fic exchange in 2019, and never finished. (This is largely why I so badly wanted to write them something amazing when I got them again in 2020; I’m not certain if Wake Me Up counts as amazing, but to this day it’s the most ambitious project I’ve actually finished, so it seems like it should count for something.) It’s interesting, reading it now; some of it got recycled into Act II of When the Waters Start to Cross (which makes sense, as they’re tonally pretty similar), but just as much ended up in “Wake Me Up”, despite the timbre of that one being completely different. I guess I’m a sucker for capital-R Romance, whether its surrounded by the terror of the world not being quite as we thought it was or the terror of the world being exactly as we thought it was.

Billy blows air through his lips, which he only ever does when he’s high on something—Steve wonders, briefly, if Amy had actually managed to score some coke this time around. “Eventually, yeah. But there’s just so much out there first.” He takes a drag, but cuts it off short, blowing out smoke with a sharp shake of his head. “You know, driving the Camaro here, there were mountains, and rivers, and whole forests. I’d keep seeing signs for this or that National Forest, or an amusement park, or roadside attractions, or whatever. And I’d want nothing more than to peel off, go check it out, see what there was to see, but...I had to just keep driving.” He takes a sip of the beer before crumpling the mostly-full can, the contents fizzing out over his hands. Pitches it out into the dark. “And now I’m stuck in this shithole of a nowhere town, full of cow shit and petty gossip and nothing else.”

“Hey.” Steve gives his voice just the hint of a barb, a lazy curl flicking upward at the end. Testing, to see if it catches. “That’s my cow shit and petty gossip you’re talking about.” Casually, he upends the beer into his mouth, chugs the entire thing in one go.

Even without looking, he can feel the heat of Billy’s eyes on him, watching his throat bob. “Oh, is King Steve feeling a little protective of his kingdom?” Steve crumples his own can, pitches it out, just a little farther than Billy’s went; he turns, gives a little half-smile of victory, watches the flame of competition light in those blue eyes. “Going to stay stuck in the mud here like a scarecrow, lording it over the chickens and the corn husks?” Billy pushes off the wall, moves in towards Steve—not quite caging him in, but definitely in his personal space. “Or are you ready to go west? Manifest your fuckin’ destiny?”

Steve stays mild, knows from long experience that’s the best route to keeping Billy’s interest—though he does flick his eyes up, tries to decide if Billy’s gaze is intense, or crazed. Or both. “You gonna take me to Hollywood, Hargrove?” He bats his lashes, widens his eyes slightly in the way he does when he’s trying to charm mothers on the street. “Get me discovered?”

Billy’s eyes flick over Steve’s face, as if assessing. “Maybe. Maybe we’ll keep going. Find all those little mining ghost towns by the southern Arizona border.” He takes another short-sharp drag, their faces inches apart, turns his head to blow out the smoke—but his eyes stay on Steve’s. “Take I-10 all the way east to El Paso, get you some decent Mexican food. Then north up through New Mexico, into the Rocky Mountains, see some proper forests and lakes. And from there...who knows?” He smiles, slow, with an answering challenge; leans in to murmur in his ear. “That’s the joy of it, pretty boy. Freedom.”

Steve keeps his smile easy. Thinks about the growing stack of letters on collegiate letterhead, buried in the back of his closet. Most of them he hasn’t even read; he doesn’t need to. They all begin with some variation on Dear Mr. Harrington: We regret to inform you… They all sit in his gut, heavy like an indigestible meal. Weighing him down.

The tone of Billy’s voice, seductive and deep; his breath, hot against the skin of Steve’s neck—it starts that fizzing in his blood. That effervescent excitement that he’d thought he’d lost. The buoyancy of possibility.

But Billy doesn’t have to know that. “I dunno. I keep hearing that I’m a charming young man with a promising future. What are you offering me in trade?” He lets one corner of his mouth quirk up, lets himself remember the feeling of reigning from his throne of ice. “Loyalty? Devotion? Adventure?”

Billy pulls back, his face amused. Takes a last drag of the cigarette before flicking the butt away. Leans in even closer—close enough that his lips are practically against Steve’s ear. Close enough to press the bounds of even drunken plausible deniability. “I don’t do promises, princess,” he murmurs, nips at Steve’s ear; Steve feels the flesh heat, the ice melt away, tips his head slightly up beneath Billy’s cigarette-scented breath. “I see you in that tower. Are you willing to make the leap?”

ask me about my WIPs!

#my writing #wip title tag game #harringrove #the lost boys #stranger things #author stuff #shewritesdirty

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ladyonfire28 · 5 years ago

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My French music Masterpost

So since half of the population is in quarantine right now I thought I could make a list of some french/ french speaking artists and songs that I listen to and that you could also discover since we all have time to kill.

Obviously I cannot put every single artist and song I know and listen to so it’ll be a bit of mix of my favorite albums/ artists of the past few years but also what i’m listening at the moment !

Pop/ R&B

Angèle

She’s a 23 year old Belgian singer. Her first album was a HUGE hit last year and she got 5 news songs out in November too. She’s also been dating a woman for a few months.

I would recommend to listen to her whole album Brol , it’s quite a bop. Also there are two songs about wlw relationship called « Ta Reine » and « Tu me regardes ». That last song was a kind of coming out song btw, we were all freaking out when we listened to it the first time lmao.

Favorite songs: Les matins, Flemme, Flou, Nombreux, Ta reine, Tu me regardes, J’entends

Clara Luciani

She’s a 27 year old French artist. 2019 was truly her year. She’s has an incredible voice and I just love her energy. She’s an amazing songwriter too. Her first album is called Sainte Victoire.

Favorite songs: La grenade, Les fleurs, On ne meurt pas d’amour, Drôle d’époque, Nue, Dors, Ma Soeur, Bovary.

Christine and the Queens

I think a lot of you know her already. She’s also a queer and pansexual artist. I have to say I really LOVED her first album Chaleur Humaine, one of the best albums of the past decade, but I didn’t love as much her second album (Chris) or her new EP (La vita nuova). I mean they’re good, but her first album was really something else. And it’s also just my opinion !

Favorite songs : iT (it’s in English though), Saint Claude, Science Fiction, Half Ladies, Paradis Perdus, Chaleur Humaine, Nuit 17 à 52, Intranquilité, Amazoniaque, Jonathan, La marcheuse, L’étranger

Therapie TAXI

This is a pretty fun band, their first album has been quite popular. They’re pretty unique and sometimes their songs and lyrics are let’s say... bold lmao. I haven’t listen to all their songs though, there’s like 25 songs in their first album and 15 in their second aha. But they also have so many bops.

Favorite songs: Hit Sale, J’en ai marre, Salop(e), Avec ta zouz

Aya Nakamura

Aya is now a r&b/pop superstar here in France and even in other countries in Europe. She’s 25 and you can hear her songs in every night club and party here. Can’t say her lyrics are very elaborated but her songs are real bops and the best to dance to in your room lmao

Favorite songs: Djadja, La dot, Pompom, Copines, Pookie, Sucette, 40%, Comportement

Lous and the Yakuza

She’s a 23 year old belgian artist. She only has 3 songs out for now, but i’ve been pretty obsessed with them. Her lyrics are pretty great too (and she’s SO beautiful omg).

Favorite songs : Dilemme, Tout est gore, Solo

Yseult

Yseult is a 24 year old french singer/songwriter. She’s has a beautiful voice and the beats are also great. I haven’t listened to all her songs though, I only heard her new EP Noir which is great.

Favorite songs: Corps, Nos souvenirs, Noir, 5H

Indie/electro rock/folk :

Pomme

Pomme is very famous in the LGBTQ community in France, but i haven’t listened much to her songs (yet). She’s a 24 year old french and lesbian singer songwriter. Her songs talk about love, anxiety, and even death. She has a such beautiful voice too.

Favorite songs: On brûlera, A peu près, Anxiété, Je sais pas danser

The Dø

The Dø are a finnish/french duo and also one of my favorite band (they sing in english though). They made of of my favorite albums of the last decade, Shake Shook Shaken, which came out in 2014. Their first albums sounded more folk/indie rock, but their third album is much more electro. And the album is about the break up of the lead singer, Olivia Merilahti, and the musician, Dan Levy. One of my favorite song of all time is in their second album Both Ways Open Jaws and is called Too Insistent.

Favorite songs: On my shoulders, Too Insistent, Sparks, Despair Hangover & Ecstasy, Opposite Ways, Anita No!, Nature Will Remain.

Izia

Izia is a singer but also an actress, you may know her from La Belle Saison, Samba, or Un peuple et son roi. I listened a lot to her third album La vague, that was released in 2015. it’s much more electro that what she used to do before. Her two first albums were much more rock albums. She’s got a new album out but i haven’t listen to it yet.

Favorite songs: Hey, La vague, You, Les ennuis, Bridges, Tomber

Mansfield.YTA

The band is composed of 2 women, Julia Lanoë et Carla Pallone. Julia is in other bands/ projects such as Sexy Sushi and Kompromat. Unlike those two last bands that are very electro, Mansfield is something more nuanced. It sounds more like indie folk and mixes different style. You can hear electric instruments but also violin, harmonium, piano etc. And it’s pretty melodramatic. They sing in french and english.

Favorite songs: Et demain déja, Pour oublier je dors, Mon amoureuse, Gilbert De Clerc

Electro :

Stromae

You might have heard of that Belgian guy. His album Racine Carré (released in 2013) is too me the best of the decade and his song “Papaoutai” was a huge hit in Europe. He’s a pure genius. His lyrics are super deep and usually quite dark but he makes incredible beats that are very electro. If his second album is definitely his most popular album, his first one Cheese, was also so so great and his first single “Alors on Danse” was a huge hit (Kanye West did a remix of it). He also directed Billie Eilish’s “Hostage” music video. That dude is just incredible. But after his huge success his did a burn out and his mental health got very bad. He stopped making music since then.

Favorite songs: Peace or Violence, Alors on danse, Dodo, Je Cours, House’llelujah, papaoutai, bâtard, ave cesaria, tous les mêmes, formidable humain à l’eau, sommeil

Rap :

I have to say i’ve been listening to a lot of french rap this past couple of years so i won’t list all the rappers i listen to, especially since i’m pretty sure most of you aren’t interested in rap. But I still have to list some of them that have been very popular recently. France has a huge and very diverse rap culture.

Fauve

Actually that collective is actually not a rap band at all. They do more like spoken word songs but didn’t where also to put them lol. The band broke up 5 years but I still listen to them a lot today. It’s one of my fav band too. Their lyrics are really well written and beautiful. It usually talks about the “youth malaise” and their frustrations, heartbreaks and anger etc. They made 1 EP et 2 LP.

Favorite songs: Blizzard, Cock Music Smart Music, Nuits Fauves, Haut les Coeurs, Rub a Dub, Voyous, Infirmière, Vieux frères, Lettre à Zoé, Paraffine, Tallulah, T.R.W, Les Hautes Lumières

Meryl

Meryl is a 24 year old french martinican rapper. Before making her own music she used to write and compose melodies for other famous french rappers. She’s very influenced by her roots and and she also sings some of her songs in creole. I love how different and diverse her music is.

Favorite songs: Coucou, AH LALA, Béni, Désolé, La brume

Aloïse Sauvage

Aloïse is a multi talented french singer/ actress/ dancer. She released her first EP in 2019 called Jimy and her very first album Dévorantes was released in February 2020. She’s definitely a queer artist (99% sure she’s lesbian but she’s never confirmed it so anyway + her little sister is 100% a lesbian aha) and she talks about lgbtq issues in some of her songs, but also about her own issues and all. Her lyrics are beautifully written. And she’s also a ray of sunshine so there’s nothing to dislike about her haha.

Favorite songs: Dévorantes, Si on s’aime, A l’horizontale, Et cette tristesse, Jimy, Présentement, L’orage

Roméo Elvis

Roméo isn’t french but belgian. He’s the big brother of Angèle. I actually knew about her because of him. He’s less known than her now obviously but he’s still quite popular. His rap is pretty soft and chill. I preferred his collaborations with Le Motel (who was his producer) more than his “solo” album but he still got some good songs on his last album.

Favorite songs: Morale, Nappeux, Drôle de question, Bébé aime la drogue, J’ai vu (feat. Angèle), Lenita, Chocolat, Normal, Dis-moi

Lomepal

Lomepal is a french rapper. He’s known for writing songs that are pretty elaborated with chill and melodic beats. I also call is rap “soft”. He usually talks about his loneliness and insecurities

Favorite songs: 70, Yeux disent, Club, Trop beaux, 1000°C, X-Men, Plus de larmes

PNL

PNL is the most popular cloud rap band of the past few of years. They’re two brothers NOS and Ademo and they’re famous for using vocoder when they rap. Like a lot of vocoder lol. But they’re also very known for working with some of the best beat makers in the industry. If the way they rap is sometimes pretty hard, their beats are very chill and cool. In their songs they talk a lot of their life as dealers in the french banlieue, their struggles, how tough their lives were but also how their lives today isn’t set and how they’re not necessarily happier today. Their third album “Dans la légende” was a huuuuge hit in France, and their latest album “Deux frères” just as much if not more.

Favorite songs: Recherche du bonheur, DA, Dans la légende, Luz de Luna, Humain, Bené, Jusqu’au dernier gramme, Blanka, A l’ammoniaque, Shenmue, Menace, Déconnecté, La misère est si belle

Other songs that I listen to at the moment :

“Le temps est bon” - Bon Entendeur (electro)

“De mon âme à ton âme” - Kompromat (electro)

“Reste” - Maitre Gims feat Sting (pop)

“Les méchants” - Heuss l’enfoiré (rap)

“C’est plus l’heure” - Franglish feat Dadju, Vegeta (r&b)

“De l’autre côté”- Ninho feat Nekfeu (rap)

“Blanche” - Maes (rap)

“La complainte du soleil” - Laura Cahen (from I Lost My Body OST)

Some french speaking “classic” songs that I listen to and that you probably don’t know (from the 50′s to 00′s) :

“Une valse à mille temps” - Jacques Brel

“La foule” - Edith Piaf

“Chanson pour l’auvergnat” - Georges Brassens

“Je t’aimais, je t’aime et je t’aimerai” - Francis Cabrel

“Ma préférence” - Julien Clerc

“La nuit je mens” - Alain Bashung

“Foule sentimentale” - Alain Souchon

“Mistral gagnant” - Renaud

“Sensualité” - Axelle Red

“Manhattan Kaboul” - Renaud feat. Axelle Red

“Onde sensuelle” - M

“Et dans 150 ans” - Raphaël

“A la faveur de l’automne” - Tété

“L’aventurier” - Indochine

French LGBTQ+ artists

This past few years a few lgbtq artists have blown up here and like 4 lesbian artists have been nominated for best new artist this year at the french grammy award called Victoire de la musique (and one of them one the award, Pomme). Unfortunately i’m not very good at discovering new artists so i’m quite late and i haven’t been able to listen to a lot of them. But if you want to discover them yourself here are few lgbtq artists:

Already mentioned: Angèle, Pomme, Julia Lanoë/ Rebekka Warrior (Sexy Sushi, Kompromat, Mansfield.YTA), Christine and the Queens, Aloïse Sauvage

More : Hoshi, Suzane, Eddy de Pretto, Safia Nolin (she’s from Quebec)

#this is a big ass post i'm so sorry omg #but you should have enough artists to discover for the next 45 days lmao #be aware : some songs on here are very bad lmao #but i love listening to bad music sometimes #aimee listens to music #up the baguette #french music #music #music masterpost

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gayenerd · 4 years ago

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I have literally no source for this interview, but it’s one of my favorites because Billie seems to be really honest about his songwriting here - this is when Nimrod came out

The day I met Billie Joe Armstrong he flashed me his new tattoo, a Chuck-Jones-perfect cartoon character on his right bicep. Above it was some skull or Celtic armband or something, but below was the name "Joseph," exquisitely lettered, for his firstborn child. It's that image of him that I always keep in my head, and what I think of when I hear his band, Green Day: loopy humor and face-punch riffs and sincere sentiment I tight formation, worn as close to the skin as possible, covered in sweat. From the band's first records on the local Berkeley label Lookout, 39/Smooth and Kerplunk!, through the multi-million selling Warner Brothers releases Dookie, Insomniac, and now Nimrod, Armstrong has written dozens of perfect little punk-rock ditties that are probably the most sincere and playful acts of musical aggression since that first punk wave twenty years ago.

But the songs are more than throwbacks. Armstrong writes from a very personal perspective, the perspective of someone born in the Me Decade, raised in the Me-vs.-You Decade, and trying to cope in the Yet-to-be-Stereotyped Decade. His songs are about the current crises of being alive right now, in a society that's used up and marketed all of its counter-cultures, and has little use for its youth except as consumers. The songs are also about how one reconciles anger and rebellion with love and desire to not be so down all the time. It's less political and more personal than its punk rock predecessors, an angry/crying/shouting/fucking definition of self.

It made me wonder how you can take bile directed at you and turn it into a song that gets sold at the local Sam Goody. I figured I'd ask, so I called him up at his home in Berkeley.

Q: Where do you start when writing a song?

A: Most of the time I'll come up with a melody, and I'll do lyrics, but I'll tackle them at different times and not connect the two, you know? So I'll come up with the riffs, and the melody of the song, like a short ditty. I'll put some lyrics to it and bring it to band practice and then we'll just start to pound it out. And then, as things need to be restructured, sometimes Mike [Dirnt, bassist] will have an idea for something, or Tré [Cool, drummer] will have an idea for something, or sometimes we'll just leave it alone and it's sort of already done.

Q: Have there been any particular songs that have stayed the same from the original inspiration to recording, or have they all gone through changes in the process?

A: There's a lot of them that stay the same. "Redundant" really never changed, except we made it a little longer by adding another chorus at the end. And there's this song called "All The Time" that's pretty much exactly the way I had it.

Q: So how much does a song change then, in producing the record? On Nimrod there are a lot of different arrangements: strings on "Good Riddance," horns on "King For A Day." Did you have the ragtime horns in mind when you were writing?

A: No, not at all. I actually demo'd that song and played all the instruments myself and showed it to the band and they're like, "oh, that's pretty cool." We fucked around with it and practiced it a couple of times, but we never expected it to go onto the record. Then when we got to the studio, we said whatever, we'll just put it on there. It ended up being pretty good, but the song was just screaming for horns. We got Gabe [McNair] and Steve [Bradley] and it was so funny. They said, "what do you want us to play?" And I said, 'I'm sure you'll think of something.' And they looked at me like, "aw man!" So they basically wrote all the horn parts to that song.

Q: What's more important, lyrics or the music?

A: I think lyrics are really important, because there are songs that, musically, I don't think are the greatest in the world but lyrically are amazing. I mean, Johnny Rotten never had the greatest voice in the world but he wrote really good lyrics for the first Sex Pistols record, and that goes for a lot of people. But the thing is, a lot of people tend to -- especially in pop songs -- they tend to take the music and put something sappy to it, and it's just a one-dimensional emotion that the rest of the songs has to carry. I was actually thinking about that yesterday. I went to a friend's house, and they were joking around, putting on the Spice Girls records. And it was blatantly catchy, super catchy, but at the same time it really didn't say anything. You could only hold it at face value, there was no depth behind it, you really couldn't tell anything about the people singing it. But I guess there's a need for that. People want to hear songs that don't say anything, they want to go out to a dance club and shake their booty.

Q: That's a good question, then: what makes a good song? Depth, a point of view...?

A: I guess so. I don't know. I know what I like, personally. Like, yesterday I did my top ten favorite songs or something like that.

Q: What's on there?

A: Let's see. "Surrender" by Cheap Trick. "In My Life" by the Beatles. A song called "They'll Never Call It Quits" by a band called One Man Army. Generation X, "Kiss Me Deadly." "Outsider" by the Ramones. Hüsker Dü, "Makes No Sense At All."

Q: How do you deal with writer's block?

A: I write something else, just for fun. I'm just habitual about it. If I can't come up with the song...the great song that you want to write that will leave your mark forever or something cheesy like that, I'll write a polka number if I can't come up with something.

Q: Do you put that kind of pressure on yourself? Do you say "this one's gonna be a statement?"

A: Sometimes I do. Sometimes I'll think way. I just have a really strong work ethic. I have that sort of way about all my songs that, lyrically, every single one of them has to have some subliminal thing going for it. But most people don't really get what you're talking about until 10 years after the fact anyway. That seems to be how people respect songwriters through time.

Q: Do you have a time of day or a place where you write? You say you have a work ethic, how does that manifest itself?

A: Anytime, every time. The other night I was dead tired. All I wanted to do was fall asleep, and me and [my wife] Adrienne get in bed, and we're laying there. I was just dozing off a little bit, and all of the sudden this music was popping in my head, going over and over. And I was like, aw man, I have to go downstairs to put this on my guitar and just write it down. But I don't want to. I was so tired. So finally I got up and I go, 'goddammit! I have to get this done.' Otherwise I would forget it.

Q: When you're writing, do you write with an album in mind or song by song?

A: Song by song. I can't really conceptualize that far in advance. We knew we wanted to change and bring in new elements on the new record. But we really didn't know how to do it. So I wrote, constantly, all kinds of songs. Fifty or something. And you try to find some sort of natural progression within those songs, and try to capture that on the record.

Q: So are the songs you write linked by your state of mind, or thematically?

A: Sometimes if I'll get into a depression, writer's block, where I can't write, I get really bummed out and then I'm not working at all, I'm not doing anything. And then I'll deliberately get myself down to the lowest of the low that I could possibly get down to. And then a song will pop up. And I'll be happy, I'll get ecstatic for like the next month and then all of the sudden another one will pop up.

Q: So you revel in the dark zone and it's useful.

A: Yeah...sort of...I kind of...well...definitely.

Q: But you don't necessarily choose to be there...

A: Sometimes I'll cause problems just so I can get in touch with that emotional side or whatever, you know. Just to see if something will spark up, start a fight or something (laughs).

Q: Can you name a song that has come out of something like that?

A: Umm...a song called "Worry Rock."

Q: Seems like a really personal song.

A: Yeah. I think I got drunk and put my fist through a window. Adrienne called me an asshole or something like that and, I don't know. We just got into some meaningless fight like most couples get into, those fights that don't make any sense. A fight for the sake of fighting, which can be destructive to your relationship. That's how that song came about.

Q: Are you okay with that kind of exposure that comes from investing your personal life and emotions in a song like that? Is your family okay with that?

A: Yeah, I think so. I guess the only problem would be if, say, Adrienne doesn't have an outlet for herself. That's the kind of thing that I worry about. The things that she could say about me could be pretty horrifying.

Q: In what way are you a different songwriter now than you were on 39/Smooth and Kerplunk?

A: It goes in a way of, you know, what kind of person were you at sixteen, and what kind of person are you at twenty? It's almost like two different people in some aspects. I think that most of my stuff is based on infatuations with women. Some are just straight obsession. I mean, nowadays you could call me a stalker (laughs). The quest for that ultimate happiness with another person, which I think started to change, and it changed pretty dramatically with Kerplunk, because I started to talk about other things, like loss of innocence, going out on your own, moving out at the age of seventeen, being a high school dropout, living in west Oakland in a warehouse with fifteen people. Where the first record was more...mushy...the next one you could tell I was going through some pretty dramatic changes.

Q: So Dookie comes out, and where are you there?

A: I think I turned more bitter. I started to realize where my true friendships were, the politics of Berkeley were setting in, drug abuse was starting to fuck with me a little bit. I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me, but I couldn't really do it and that had a lot to do with drugs. I started to get a lot more bitter. Life wasn't how it was supposed to be when you're on your own. There's a couple of different songs on there...I mean, the psychoses that went into that record! Songs like "Basket Case" and "Coming Clean" were blatantly neurotic songs.

Q: That's messed up: amazing success, and it's your bitterness you're being celebrated for.

A: I don't know. It's funny because I feel that once you write a song, and then record it, and then release it, it doesn't necessarily belong to you anymore. I mean, you can hold that piece of work closer to you than anybody else can, and that was one of the big problems for a while. I felt so misunderstood all the time. Which goes with the territory, anyway, of writing songs. Because nobody really understands what the hell you're talking about. Other people have interpretations of whatever, figure out their own plot, make it fit to the soundtrack of their own lives. It messed with me a little bit, 'cause people didn't know where I came from, people didn't know where I came from, people didn't really know what I stood for. People calling us a throwback to 1977, I guess I got affected by that. Because punk rock is a lifestyle for me, and has nothing to do with 1977 or any particular band, but the relationship that you had with and the amount of work that you put into your local scene. And it gets completely misinterpreted as trying to make a buck.

Q: It wasn't a fashion statement, it was a lifestyle.

A: Yeah, a lot of people took it as a fashion statement, even to the point where I think a lot of people thought we were the '90s equivalent of Sha Na Na or something. Some of that's kind of funny, whatever. But now I sort of don't care. No one's gonna understand it anyway. The whole success or fame thing was so new to me at the time, it came so abruptly, and I was like, wow, this is too much. I didn't know all this baggage was connected to all this shit. I thought I'd just have the opportunity to play my songs for people.

Q: Is that why the new album is as different as it is, because you're just doing what you want to do, you don't have to be what people thought you were, or even what you thought you were?

A: I think so. That might have something to do with it. I think when you stop caring and worrying about what people think, even stop caring what you think of yourself to a certain extent, and just sort of do it, it's a release to push your past behind you. I think that's when the best stuff comes out. And, of course, when you're forging ahead really hard. I think this time our songs are much more than just things that you can listen to, but actually visualize at the same time. It's like this guy told me the other day, this friend of mine, he goes, you know I was listening to that song "Platypus," and I can totally imagine this big western stampede of horses and cows. And that, for me, is exactly what I was thinking. Not that I was thinking of a stampede, you know, but that kind of quality.

Q: So you communicated an image and a feeling.

A: Exactly.

Q: Of any of your songs, do you have a favorite?

A: Lately, I like "Walking Alone" and "Uptight" I've been into. My mind changes all the time.

Q: Let's talk about one of those. What are the circumstances around a song like "Walking Alone?"

A: I play in this side project band called Pinhead Gunpowder. This guy Aaron Elliot writes all the lyrics and a lot of the music. And he wrote this song called "I Walk Alone," which is about walking at night, the streets, being a street punk. And so I wrote...I don't know what you'd call it -- an alter ego song? -- called "Walking Alone."

Q: An answer song?

A: Yeah, cause we always work in that sort of way. I wrote a song called "She," so he wrote an article in his fanzine called "She." It's kind of funny, it's really good to bounce things off of each other. So "Walking Alone" and "I Walk Alone" were sort of the same thing. I think Tom Petty could play that song. It's got that harmonica and the big smashing snare sound on it. But it was the first time I ever played harmonica. I can't play harmonica at all. I had to teach myself how to play that.

Q: Hey, you did great.

A: Oh, thanks. We actually tried to get a studio musician to play it, but I think he was a little too hobo for us.

Q: Smelled bad?

A: Actually, he had almost too much soul for it. He was too good at what he did. And I wanted it to come across more loosely. Not as good, I guess. So I played it.

Q: It's not a confident song, or a song about confidence. "Sometimes I need to apologize/sometimes I need to admit that I ain't right."

A: It's sort of like sticking your foot in your mouth sometimes, and thinking out loud, but the lyric changes. It turns into talking about friends and how they change and your friends either become lawyers or the local town drunks.

Q: Any advice for people writing who want to be hit songwriters?

A: Oh God, I don't know. Don't take advice from anybody.

#'The things that she could say about me could be pretty horrifying'#yeah i bet #interview #article #articles #billie joe armstrong

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