#Billy Batson: I wonder why all the child heroes are pissed

[moonlightcycle571]

Billy: *turns into a woman*

JL: well Cap did say they had many forms

Billy: *turns into a child *

JL: that’s fine

Billy: *mentions not having a home aside from the rock of eternity*

JL: makes sense since he’s magic

Batman: *gets him an apartment*

Billy: thanks 🥹

Billy: *introduces Miss Marvel and Captain marvel Junior, who are very much children, as his twin and older brother respectively*

JL: Must be a magic thing

Billy: Wow, you guys are taking it better than I thought

JLD, watching from the sidelines: so we can’t say anything since he’s our boss, but how are they so blind????

Billy: *doing homework in the corner*

JL: makes sense that he’s want to say up to date of modern tech and events. Being a kid is a great cover.

JLD: stupid. They are all stupid.

Honestly, if Billy Batson made himself the Justice League cryptid, no one would even blink if/when his identity was revealed. Like "yeah, that's just Marvel. He's like that sometimes".

Like he just puts out such strange pieces of information that literally anything could be possible. He shows up to a League meeting one day soaked in Lazarus pit waters, and the only thing he says about it is an earnest apology for being late. His clothes audibly squelch when he sits down. The League is struggling to translate some old text because the language has literally been lost to time, and somehow Marvel not only knows it, but also other information that implies that he was alive at the time (he was not. Solomon is just very, very thorough). He casually mentions talking to gods like it's just another Tuesday. He eats weird shit. The way he uses magic gives the other magic users a huge migraine. He has very specific knowledge about not only being homeless in the 21st century, but also about being a homeless kid in the 21st century (he's very touchy about the foster care system). Sometimes things just see him and flee the other way. None of his villains take him seriously. He's friends with a magical tiger that sometimes talks. An ally refers to him as the "Incarnation of Magic" and the League takes that very literally. If you try and track him in his off hours or hunt him down literally at all it's like he just stopped existing. He's somehow very in touch with the modern world and also gets confused by the simplest things. Sometimes he talks about the Rock of Eternity like he was born there, died there, or like it's the place to take the ultimate power nap. Someone asks how he knows some forgotten dead language and he implies time travel. Diana thinks its continuous rebirth. Half the league has their money on immortal eldritch being. Was he created? Born? Is he even alive? The world may never know.