#Beyond Pain

[helenwhiteart-blog]

A TMS breakthrough

Last week, for me, was nothing short of astonishing. We were on holiday for a week in the place we are moving to just as soon as the legalities are through so it was, in a sense, a taster of our future life. We also attended a four day music festival, which is one hell of a stretch for someone who had her most recent flare-up of ME/CFS just a few short months ago. I had not attempted anything so…

[quiddie]

Just had a friend show me a conversation in a fan discord about Suvi as a Black American woman in the context of the fallout from the election. And honestly? Yeah. The blueprint is simple: Black women are expected to put their own priorities and emotions on hold to show up for everyone else's battles and hold endless space for everyone's feelings while simultaneously weathering attacks on our character (oh she's so angry/aggressive/violent/rude) and authority (she's a woke hire/affirmative action quota/nepobaby) without complaint. We're expected to save the day under nigh-impossible circumstance, and with fewer resources and support that is AT BEST, conditional.

So yeah, relistening to Suvi's speech in The Witness hurts now. Because that's exactly the feeling I'm wrestling with, and what I see mirrored in the Black women around me. We are exhausted and angry and sad. Those voter percentages are a betrayal of "we" that was promised by other marginalized groups when speaking of the interconnectedness of our liberation. And the unexamined expectation that we immediately rise from the depths of our despair to prepare for the next fight is a cruelty. Suvi isn't real, but if this helps lend empathy toward actual Black women in the world, then I'm glad.

[markscherz]

I put it to you that Scaphiophryne marmorata is peak frog.

Why?

Well first, it's pretty round, which is key.

Now get a load of those fingers.

Big, expanded discs at the end, ideal for climbing.

But what's happening back there with those toes? No discs there. Those are good for walking and hopping around on the ground.

Now, let's gently turn them over

First, excellent tum, 17 out of 10, no notes.

But what's that at the base of the foot? Those big projections? Yep, those are spades. This climbing, hopping frog is an excellent digger!

I like to think of these Scaphiophryne as all-terrain frogs. They're basically good at everything. They defy our categorical labels of 'arboreal', 'terrestrial', or 'fossorial', and say 'por qué no los tres?'—but in Malagasy, so 'nahoana no tsy izy telo?'

[knighterrantbard]

What lives we must lead

What takes place

that gives one such a self-shattering vista

that the only solace one has

is in deadening the soul

with

cirrus-clouded,

finger-tingling sensations

and half-feather feelings

butterfly-inducing,

heady neuron-fired intoxication

one has to empty the soul

hollow out the bone

and gouge the eyes

and it still isn't enough

there, in the void

betwixt and between the remnants

of your battered self

it yet lives.

hope.

[2sw]

It's not my first time on the rack.

#samweek2024 Day Six Autonomy ｜ Abuse ｜ Trauma

[the-overthinktank]

Something i see missing from birth control discussion is that it is used for treatments beyond pregnancy prevention. Like i am not in a relationship with pregnancy risk. But I'm on hormonal IUD because my body was growing little meat pearls of period tissue in my abdomen, and i had to get emergency surgery because one of them was twisting my ovary and putting me in excruciating pain. Now i don't have periods so my body can't do that. If i didn't have the birth control, my body would get straight to work on the meat pearls again.

[enitsirk]

Arc 3: The Witch and her retinue

[capydoodle]

have compassion for yourself and for others. it seems hopeless but any small amount of good you can do is just that much more love in the world

[officialmiintee]

one piece / brothers

[cringefail-clown]

dirkkri propoganda dirkkri propoganda

asshole to asshole communication

[cuveriim]

Listen to "Cuverim-Pain" on Spotify and Apple Music

[merakiui]

Can we hear more thoughts on self-aware skully in a halloween-themed otome?? I think it's such a fun concept! Thinking of him, loving us knowing that he will never have us<33

:D the basic idea is that the love interests are everyone in TNBC event and it focuses on you and them planning the perfect Halloween celebration alongside the residents of Halloween Town. Spend a week getting closer to and raising the affection meter of your beloved and perhaps he might confess on Halloween night under a brilliant moon! <3

Skully is a side character who is merely there to progress the plot; he doesn't have any real route for himself, nor does he have any of the mechanics the other characters have (affection meters). But if he did perhaps he might be the secret yandere route most otome games have...

Unfortunately, most of his scenes with you are very short and he's often there to make the love interest shine brighter. When Leona warns you not to listen to a fanatic like him, that only misfortune can come from readily believing everything he says, it's meant to make you fall for Leona and his protective charm. Or when Jamil asks Skully if he's doing okay when he notices how downcast he seems, it's to make you fawn over how considerate and observant he appears. But all of this is just part of pre-programmed characteristics. It's all part of a script. Skully plays his part in this drama, almost like a ghost as he floats through whichever route you choose to pursue, and with every replay he begins to realize there's more beyond the world he's confined to.

You can't actually like these characters, right? They're just caricatures. They're programmed to fall for you, but Skully's love for you is a natural progression! It's real. Sure, you click through some of his dialogue when it's too long, but please don't ignore him. >_< surely you don't agree with the others on their idea for Halloween! You think a somber Halloween is better, right? One that's quiet and solemn. One that's meant for reflection. One that's better spent alone. He knows you're a sweet, considerate person at heart. Surely you share his feelings on this matter.

The game has a feature where one of the love interests will visit you each day you log in during the seven-day timeframe, and it gives you chances to either raise or lower their affection meter when you interact with them. Imagine your surprise when Skully, who isn't a love interest and thus shouldn't be here, forces himself into the spotlight, hoping to have a private chat with you. He's so excited! Oh, what should he say? He isn't confined by the laws of the script, so he can say and do whatever he wants! It's how he's able to be so much more expressive than the other characters.

You watch in surprise as the blank bubble fills with a dialogue you've never encountered before:

Lovely person beyond the screen, I greet you with a kiss! Allow me to remind you of what the real Halloween is.

[s0fter-sin]

ghost fucking soap so hard and so good he passes out but he utterly panics about it

he thinks he must’ve ignored soap asking to stop; was it pain that made him pass out? how bad could it have been to make him pass out when he’s been shot and kept going? should he bring him to medical? he’ll never touch him again, he’ll never so much as look at him again; he’ll ask for a transfer- fuck that, a dishonourable discharge. there’s no coming back from this

he spirals, guilt chasing hatred chasing despair chasing fear, until soap finally wakes back up

soap's still floating, loose-limbed and buzzing; fucked so thoroughly out of his head that it takes him a while to notice ghost isn't in bed with him anymore. he frowns, lifting a heavy head off the pillow and freezes. ghost's on the other side of the room, curled up tight in the corner as far away from soap as he could get without leaving him alone

(he would've left, would've made sure soap never had to see his face again and be reminded of what he did to him, of the monster he’d let into his bed- but he couldn't just leave him unconscious; what if he didn't wake up, he had to make sure he was safe first even if he'll rightfully hate him forever when he does wake up)

soap's voice when he calls out to him makes him flinch, his head burying deeper in his knees. cold worry chases the bliss from his blood and soap pushes himself up but his shaking arms can't hold his weight

the sound of him collapsing back onto the bed makes ghost rear up, his panic growing and soap's heart breaks at his red rimmed eyes

it takes a long time for soap to coax him back to the bed, countless loops of, "sweetheart, please, come here, what happened? it's okay, everything’s going to be okay.”

(and how ghost’s self-hatred grows hearing soap comforting him; hearing the concern and love in his voice when he doesn’t deserve a drop of it)

it takes even longer for ghost to believe soap when he says that he passed out because he felt so good; that he never asked ghost to stop, never wanted him to stop. that he trusts him more than anything and knows he'd rather die than ever hurt him, especially like that

“you’re not a monster, love,” he promises, soft with conviction and it’s as much a surrender as a relief when he collapses into his lap and lets him hold him close

ghost believes johnny but he still can't bring himself to be intimate with him for a while; that fear still haunting him, but soap doesn't hold it against him, doesn't complain about ghost's perceived "step back" in their relationship

hell, ghost seems to hate it more than he does; he misses being with soap, misses the connection, the closeness they shared, the safety and quiet he found in his embrace, but he's always trusted soap more than he trusts himself

soap doesn't let him be consumed by his fear or worse, sabotage them and turn it into a punishment; doesn't let him even get through the suggestion of switching because he knows how much he hates it and he won’t let him twist something as good and pure as their physical love into something self-harming

instead, he brings them back to the basics, working through the steps to get ghost comfortable with intimacy again, to get him to trust himself again; spends happy months just grinding and exchanging handjobs like when their relationship first started

and it's a happy day for them both when soap finally falls apart on his cock once again, anxiety the farthest thing from ghost's mind when his arms are wrapped so tightly around him, kissing a smile against his lips

[liam-summers]

AtS 2.22 | BtVS 5.22

"The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."

[kang-yo-han]

I’m rewatching Beyond Evil and I will never, ever be over the scene where Dongsik finds Yuyeon’s body. It’s a master class in acting by Hakyun. He’s devastated; he’s relieved; he’s so, so apologetic. He’s reuniting with the twin he lost. She’s dead. She’s in his wall. But she’s there. After twenty years of trauma and agony and endless wondering, he’s found her. There is joy in that, even when it’s wrapped up in despair. Even when finding her means he’s lost her all over again.

[an-established-butt-dent]

Wanderer