#Better Body Jamaica

[betterbodyautocollision]

Certified Body Shop Queens

Your vehicle is a big investment, so it’s important to have your vehicle expertly repaired whenever it needs work. When you bring your car to Better Body Auto Collision, you can rest easy knowing our auto body repair technicians are I-CAR GOLD CLASS certified and a direct repair facility for MOST Major Insurance companies. We pride ourselves on restoring vehicles to pre-accident conditions; from small scratches and dent removal to major repairs and more, our doors are always open to any repair! Before the vehicle is returned to you a diagnostic evaluation along with a quality control check is completed for your safety, We then do a complete detailing to ensure your customer satisfaction.  

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Haircut

Summary: Javi thinks that he's way past due for a haircut. You like his hair long for reasons other than his good looks.

Word Count: 2.1K (I sprinted to write this after I saw this picture)

Pairing: Husband!Javi x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n, reader's nickname is Osita)

Warnings: SMUT (18+) Oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, praise kink, (lovingly?) possessive Javi, Javi's back at again with his filthy mouth, hair pulling, Javi is hungry and the man is gonna EAT, allsions to more smut, Jonas Brother's references ( bc Javi is our girl dad king and his daughters love them LMAO)

A/N: Y'ALL REALLY THOUGHT THIS PICTURE OF PEDRO WAS SURFACE RIGHT HERE ON TUMBLR DOT COM AND I WASN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!? WRONG. I legit have 3 WIPS I started in the past 24 hours based on this picture alone. Pedro really did this one for the Javier Peña girlies (gn) and I will forever be in debt to him for that. You cannot tell me that this is Dad!Javi when his kids are a little bit older bc HOLY SHIT?! This really may the nail in the coffin for @notjustjavierpena and I bc really fear this is the dilfiest Husband Javi has ever looked 😩😵‍💫 anyways, never getting over this!!!!

Series Masterlist Never Too Late Masterlist

“God, I can’t even remember the last time my hair has been this long. Lucy keeps saying I look like a Jonas Brother. Am I supposed to know who they are? Is that supposed to be a good thing?” Javi sighed, playing with his dark brown curls in the bathroom mirror as you snuck up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist, peeking out to watch your husband’s longer than usual locks twist between his fingers. 

“They’re the goofy looking boy band on Disney Channel that the girls are obsessed with. Like the Backstreet Boys, except cooler, apparently.” You laughed, planting a soft kiss into the fabric of Javi’s worn t-shirt covering his broad back before stepping next to him, leaning your hip against the bathroom counter to admire your husband as he fiddled with his hair. 

“Jesus Christ, those guys? God, I really do need a haircut before I start looking like the poster what’s-his-face hanging on Lucy and Elliot’s walls.” Javi chuckled, running his hand through his hair once more before mirroring you, his hip resting against the counter, leaning his weight on his palm splayed flat along the granite surface. 

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think he’s supposed to be the best looking one.” You teased, giving Javi a playful shrug. “Besides, I like your hair long.” 

“Seriously?” Javi asked, raising an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms over his chest in protest. “It looks like a mop right now.” 

“A very sexy mop.” You smirked, nudging Javi before stepping closer into him, reaching up to run your hand through his curls, slowly twisting the ends with your fingers. “It reminds me of that trip we took to Jamaica a few years ago. Your hair was almost this long, remember? You looked so hot in those stupid floral button downs you insisted on buying, and hanging out shirtless by the pool all day while you played with the girls.” 

“Fuck, I forgot about that. I’m surprised we didn’t end up with a fourth kid after that trip.” Javi chuckled, slowly shifting the palm that had been holding him up towards your waist, letting his fingers gently toy with the waistband of your pajamas. “You really like my long hair that much?” 

“Mhmmmm.” You cooed, continuing to close the gap between your bodies, your free hand resting on Javi’s chest as the other continued to stroke his curls. You could feel a low groan rumbling in Javi’s throat as your fingers weaved back and forth through his hair, the other creeping up to cradle his jaw, thumb tracing back and forth across the stubble on his cheek. 

“Yeah? What else do you like about it?” Javi groaned, his hand slipping under the elastic waistband of your pants to grab a fistfull of your ass, kneading the soft flesh in his hand. 

“I like…” You paused, bringing your lips to Javi’s, pressing a tender kiss on his lips, “I like that it gives me something extra to hold on to.” 

“Hold on to?” Javi asked, cocking his head in slight confusion. 

“Hold on to when you go down on me. I love being able to run my hands through your hair when you eat me out, especially when it’s long like this.” You smirked, watching Javi’s eyes go wide in delight, a devilish grin spreading across his face as he bit down on his lip. 

Before you could say anything else, Javi’s hands were gripping around your waist and hosting you up to sit on the counter, caging his body against yours, hands planted around the outside of your hips while his lips crashed into yours, your mouths becoming a tangled mess of tongue and teeth. 

“Fuck…” Javi whispered to himself, pulling away from your lips to pepper kisses down your jaw and neck, running his hands over your thighs. “I love it when you play with my hair, Hermosa. Love feeling you pull on it when you’re close. Makes me lose my fucking mind every time. Fuck, I’d stay burried between your legs forever if I fucking could.” 

Javi began to let his kisses trail down your body, past your chest and across your stomach before he was dropping to his knees in front of you, draping your legs across the width of his shoulders. Pulling at your waistband, you lifted your hips off the counter so your pajamas and underwear could fall to the floor, revealing the wetness that had been pooling between your thighs since you had walked into the bathroom a few minutes ago. 

“Jesus Christ…” Javi whispered, further parting your legs to see the arousal already dripping through your folds, staring up at you with a boyish grin on his face, “So fucking wet for me, Hermosa. Didn’t realize you liked my hair that much.” 

“Oh shut up you goof, you know I- o-oh fuck-” You whimpered, Javi cutting off the rest of your sentence as the flat of his tongue dragged across your cunt, the suddent sensation making you gasp in delight, already playing in to Javi’s plan as your hand shot down to his head, digging your fingers into his messy hair. 

“Better hold on tight, querida. There’s a lot more where that came from.” Javi smirked, pulling away just enough to see the smug smile between his cheeks, peppering a few wet kisses on the inside of your thighs before his head was back between your legs, placing a soft kiss on your clit, already aching and throbbing for more of what you had just been promised. 

“Do your worst, Peña.” 

That one sent a low growl of approval humming through his chest, laughing to himself as his hands gripped tighter around your thighs, fingertips digging into the soft flesh of your skin before another slow, broad stroke of his tongue was traveling through your folds. 

While you were truly convinced there wasn’t another man who loved going down on their wife more than your husband did, you could always tell when Javi wanted nothing more than to stay buried between your thighs, making you cum over and over until you were begging him to stop, lapping up every last drop of you until there was nothing left to give, and right now, you already knew Javi meant what he said when you were about to have to hold on for dear life. 

The hand buried in the dark waves of Javi’s hair only began to tug tighter as his tongue began to work meticulously across your cunt, pressing just enough pressure against your sensitive bundle of nerves to already have you a squirming, whimpering mess, but painstakingly slow enough to have you begging for more. 

“Javi… Oh, shit. Fuck, more baby, please. P-please.” You moaned, looking down at Javi with what you were already sure was a wrecked expression painted across your face. 

You could practically feel Javi’s smug smirk pressed against your cunt as he eased one, then two fingers into your aching core, curling them to bump against the spongy spot inside you that already had you fisting at the edge of the bathroom counter to try and keep your composure, and better yet, your voice down. 

“Oh my god, f-fuck. You feel so good, baby.” You moaned, feeling the strong arch of Javi’s nose bumping against your clit, placing a soft kiss there before the flat of his tongue licked another long, broad stroke across your cunt, putting just the right amount of pressure on your sensitive bundle of nerves as his fingers worked in tandem to send the sweet tingling sensation to start building in your spine. 

“Fuck, I love this perfect pussy so much. I still can’t believe she’s all fucking mine. My perfect fucking wife. Tell me, Hermosa, whose pussy is this?” Javi asked, pulling away for you to see your slick covering his mustache and the lustful look pooling in the dark brown of his eyes, the quiet possessiveness of his tone making your cunt clench even tighter around his fingers as they continued to pulse in and out of you. 

“It’s y-yours, Javi, It’s all- fuck- It’s all yours.” You whined, your breath hitching in your throat as you spoke. 

“And who’s the only one who makes you feel like this, huh?” Javi tutted, sliding a third finger into your heat, the sweet stretch and sting making you let out a ragged whimper as you threw your head back in pleasure. 

“Y-you- Jesus- Y-you are, Javi.” 

“And who’s gonna be a good girl and soak my face when she cums for me?” 

“M-me.” 

“That’s fucking right, you are.” Javi growled before diving back between your legs, working his tongue relentlessly against your clit, circling and flicking in fast and firm motions as his fingers curled deeper into your core, eating you up like a man starved, desperate to make you fall apart. 

You could already feel the coil in your stomach beginning to tighten from the way Javi was working so relentlessly to make you come undone, drinking every ounce of you up as his lips latched around your sensitive bundle of nerves, making your back arch and mind go blank while that all too familiar tingle began to creep through your core, cunt beginning to clench tighter and tighter around him. 

At this point, your fingers were tugging so tightly around the soft, brown curls of his locks to try and hold yourself together, that you were convinced that you were close to pulling his hair out of his skull, but with the way you were on the brink of collapse from the way Javi’s mouth was working against your cunt, you almost didn’t have a choice. 

“Fuck, Javi. Oh shit- Baby, I’m so close. Don’t stop.” 

“I won’t stop, mi amor. Won’t stop until this pretty pussy fucking soaks me.” Javi mewled, peeking his head out from under you just enough so that his sweet, brown eyes were locked with yours, the hot words of his breath dancing against your pussy as his fingers continued to rock in and out of you. “I’ve got you, Osita. Promento. Damelo, bebita. (I promise. Give it to me, baby).” 

Before you could respond, your jaw dropped open and face scrunched in pleasure as Javi dove back in, burying his face in your cunt as each press of his tongue became more firm and precise than the last, feeling your pussy begin to flutter as you clutched tighter around the edge of the counter, trying to keep from screaming out in pleasure and raise any suspicion. But as your legs began to tremble and your heart race, teetering on the brink of collapse, it was taking every ounce of willpower you had left to make that happen.

“Fuck, Javi. Fuck, I- fuck- I’m gonna, I’m gonna-ahhhhhh.” You whimpered, feeling your orgasm crash through you, pleasure radiating in your veins as you fell apart, losing all inhibitions to keep yourself quiet as you threw your head back in all consuming bliss. With his fingers still buried in your cunt, gently working you through your high, Javi shot back up, his mouth engulfing yours in an electric kiss to try and capture your ragged moans that had been coating the walls of the bathroom, the tangy taste of you still lingering on his lips. 

Your heartbeat finally began to slow, your chest heaving in long, heavy breaths as you slumped into Javi, your head resting on his shoulder as your hands stayed buried deep in his hair, grasping onto his now sweat-dampened ends to try and pull yourself back down to reality.

After a few moments of letting you come to, Javi gently pulled out his fingers, all three drenched and glistening with your slick, pulling them out and bringing them to his mouth, sucking them clean with a devilish smirk of satisfaction on his face. 

“God, you taste so fucking sweet. You really weren’t kidding about the hair, huh Hermosa?” Javi chuckled, cupping your jaw to cradle your cheek with his broad palm, forcing your gaze up at him. 

“I told you.” You giggled softly, still trying to catch your breath as you smiled at him, pulling him in for another long, tender kiss. “Hottest looking Jonas Brother I’ve ever seen.” 

The two of you burst out into laughter, practically snorting at your comment, taking a second to compose yourselves as Javi crossed his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes at you. 

“If that’s the fucking case, I’m getting out the clippers tonight.” 

“Not until you take me to bed and do this all again, you aren’t.” 

taglist:

@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild @copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @pigeonmama @pedr0swh0r3

[dc-marvel-life]

You Are My Family Now

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x reader

Summary: Natasha is dating someone that the team does not like and tries to get Natasha together with Bruce.

Word Count: ~1.5K

A/N: This is for @waltermis. I saw that you looking for a story like this, and I love the idea so much I made it. Lisichka - little fox, I found this online so I am not 100% sure if it means little fox.

Warnings: The team is mean

You are an ex-assassin/spy for hire who was awfully good at her job. Your biggest enemy was the Avengers, but they never were about to spot you. You caused many injuries and near-death experiences for them, so you were on their naughty list. 

No one in the world was able to get close enough to catch you, well no one but Natasha Romanoff. You also have a soft spot for you. You could never pinpoint exactly why but you had the biggest crush on her. It was the way her body moved against you. It was always a dance between you too, but you always got away. You couldn’t tell if you were just that skilled or she let you go on purpose. 

You thought that she liked the cat and mouse game that you both played just as much as you do. It was also the way she talked to you. No matter what the situation is or what you said, she always had a sassy comeback that made your heart skip a beat. 

— 

It all changed one night in Paris. You were working a job where you needed to take out a mob boss who was staying at a hotel nearby. You were just about to walk up and take him out when Natasha came out of nowhere and stopped you. 

A fight ensued and you got badly injured. You couldn’t finish the mission with how bad the wound was. You needed to get to your safe house immediately and take care of the wound before you bleed out. You somehow managed to get to your safe house alive, but you weren’t alone. Natasha was able to follow you back.

“Looks like you got sloppy there Silver Fox,” Natasha says once she enters your safe house with a gun in hand. You smile at the way she says your code name. She says it with so much lust behind it. This time you couldn’t say anything smart back at her because you were bleeding to death.

Natasha looked at you and saw that you were in real pain. You are lying on the floor with your hand on the wound trying to put pressure on it but slowly losing it. Just like you, Natasha had a soft for you too. Natasha puts down her gun and treats your wound. Once she finishes patching you up, she puts you in the bed and finds some food and water for you.

“Don’t scare me like that again Fox” Natasha says handing you water.

“Wouldn’t plan on it. Then who would you track across the whole world to see” you say taking the water.

“By the way, my name is Y/N,” you say realizing that you never knew each other names. Just code names Black Widow and Silver Fox.

“My name is Natasha. It is nice to finally meet you” Natasha says with a small smile. You both stare at each other’s eyes then something clicks. You both lean in for a kiss that feels like it lasted for hours. That night you both made love in that safe house until the sun came up. 

— 

That became your guys' routine for a few years. You guys will find each other then find a hotel or safe house to make love all night and leave in the morning. During the years that you both have been hooking up with each other, you started to fall in love with Natasha. After you guys finished, you would talk about everything. She told you about the Red Room and how she lost her sister. You told her about your backstory and why you are an assassin/spy. 

You wanted to do better for Natasha, so you slowly started to take fewer and fewer jobs until you were completely out. Natasha was able to track you down in Jamaica. Once she got there, you told her that you were about of the game and wanted to do right by her. Natasha was so happy to hear it and officially asked you to be her girlfriend. 

You said yes and you guys spent a week in Jamaica. Natasha didn’t know that you planned for this whole week. It was the best time of your life. 

A month later, Natasha told the team that you guys were together and they weren’t happy about it. You have caused so much damage to the team over the years and it can’t be fixed anytime soon. 

You understood and asked for a chance. The team didn’t want to give you a chance, but Fury wanted to keep your talents so he let you on the team with pushback. 

You were happy that you could actually do some good in the world and be near your girlfriend. After a few months of staying there, you and Natasha moved into the same room together. Everything was going great with you two.

— 

Now you are on a solo mission while the team is at the compound having a chill night drinking, playing games, and watching movies.

Natasha is drinking with the rest of the team but she is waiting for you to be back. You told her tonight when you come back you are going to cook her a nice meal to celebrate each other. So Natasha is trying not to drink too much unlike her teammates who are drunk right now. 

“You know Nat, you shouldn’t be dating Gold Fox,” Tony says slurring his words.

“It is Silver Fox and she has a name,” Natasha says defensively.

“Look what we are trying to say that she isn’t good for you. Why not date Bruce? He is a better fit for you” Wanda says to her best friend. Natasha rolls her eyes at the thought of it. She only wants to be with you. It was no secret that Bruce has a crush on Natasha and everyone is for it but you and Natasha. 

“No, I am in a happy relationship” Natasha bites back at her team. 

“How about you kiss to see? You may never know. Now kiss” Tony says and the whole team starts to chant ‘kiss’.

“Hell no!” Natasha says but now Bruce is drunk and has some confidence. He comes over to where Natasha is and pulls her into a kiss with the team cheering. 

Then you hear a loud bang. The team turns around to see you standing there with bags of groceries. You drop the bags and leave the compound.

“Look at what you guys did” Natasha gets up to try and catch you but you are long gone. Natasha sighs and starts to pick up the bags that you dropped. Natasha let out a sigh because she was looking forward to dinner. You always made her the best food and she wanted a night alone with you. You've both been on missions back to back and needed it. 

Natasha picks up the bags and sees a small box. She opens the box to see a beautiful engagement ring. It is the ring that Natasha has been describing you for months now. 

“You guys are all dicks!” Natasha screams and takes off to the landing bay. She knew exactly where you were going. The safe house in Paris.

Natasha takes a small jet and goes to you. She gets to the safe house and sees you on the bed in a ball crying while holding a picture of you two on your first date. 

“Lisichka” Natasha comes over to you and holds you tight. She wipes away your tears.

“Why would you do it” you say in a small voice.

“Lisichka, it didn’t happen that way. The whole team was drunk and wanted me to kiss Bruce. I said no and he came up and grabbed me. He kissed me, but I didn’t kiss him. These lips are only for you” Natasha kisses your cheek. You turn around so you are looking in her eyes to see that she is telling the truth, and she is. 

Natasha likes to think that you can’t tell when she is lying but you also do. 

“Now were you serious about this” Natasha holds up the box.

“Yes. I was supposed to ask you about a beautiful dinner and it be romantic” you say sadly.

“Well, the answer is yes. And this is just perfect for me” Natasha kisses you with all the passion that she has. You hold her close so she does go away.

“Let’s run away together,” Natasha says once she breaks the kiss. 

“Baby, no,” you say and Natasha looks at you confused.

“As much as I would love to run away with you. The Avengers are your family. You even got Yelena back in your life. I don’t want to be the reason why you have to leave your family” you say holding her cheek.

“You know that you are my family now too right” Natasha gets the ring out of the box. You stop her and put the ring on her. 

“That’s very true,” you admire her with the ring on.

“Fine, but I will make them like you,” Natasha says in all seriousness. 

“I bet you will,” you say and kiss Natasha again. You guys spend the night making love to each other in the same place that started it all.

Masterlist

[korizzybee]

Imagine being Jake Sully’s and Neytiri’s adopted daughter, child of someone who was an old friend of Jake’s:

Info: reader’s mom’s avatar had darkskin black features (Afro hair + dark eyes + dark blue skin) so reader also has those features, reader has an Jamaican accent, reader is Navi Avatar hybrid and has 5 fingers and eyebrows, reader is 13 years old

Boom your mom was 5 years old when she moved from Jamaica to North America, she and Jake became childhood friends (more like they became soul siblings)

The same day the RDA recruited Jake, they recruited your mother too

She also spends time observing the Navi and learning their ways with Jake, but Tsu’Tey was her teacher instead

As she lives there for months, she and Tsu’Tey fall in love and mate at the tree of spirits (JAKE N NEYTIRI DUUUUPE)

She and Neytiri actually became pregnant at the same time, literally shortly after they both mate with their men at the spirit trees

Your dad dies during the war yada yada yada, they win and skip boring stuff

For some reason when Neytiri has her baby, your mother is unable to give birth to you and she remains pregnant for 2 more years

The pregnancy drains her energy, making her look even skinnier and her skin color fade as her cheeks become hollow

When she finally gives birth and before she dies she whispers a name that’s a mixture between her’s and Tsu’Tey’s

Neytiri holds your small crying form silently shushing you while Jake cries over your mom’s dead body, she was like an older sister to him

Jake adopts you and when you’re old enough he starts teaching you about your human culture as it was a big part of your mother’s life and she loved her culture more than anything

This leads him to also explaining why you’re different from all the other Omaticaya, but he also explains it’s not a bad thing

You growing up with mixing your life with both your Navi and Jamaican cultures

You are the closest to Neteyam, he’s SOOOOO protective over you (you are his favorite shhhh don’t tell Lo’ak)

Since you’re a lot shorter than your older siblings, you often get carried by them

Jake teaching you so much about humans, pop culture references, music tastes n everything!!!! (Girl you literally take inspiration from his teachings and make your own clothing style out of Navi clothes)

Neytiri making you the most beautiful song cord ever about the love story of your mom and Tsu’Tey and your birth

You and Kiri bonding over both being adopted

You and Tuk are so goofy together, always making Neytiri laugh n shi

You two also bond over being the babies of the family

You and Lo’ak always playing tag in the forest

You immediately loved spider when you all first met him as little kids, (I mean, your mom was once human so you didn’t hate them at all)

ALWAYS wearing your mother’s Na’vi and human hair pieces and your father’s necklaces

Jake teaching you how to fight the human way because your mom was better than everyone in the RDA at that

Going to the Lab with Kiri to see videos of your moms together (they also grew to be close friends and would sometimes just make videos of them being stupid together)

Jake and Neytiri are the only ones allowed to do your hair (your mom taught them how to take care of Afro hair once), they make sure your hair is always healthy

You look so much like your mom but you get your smile, eye shape, and bodily markings from Tsu’Tey

When you can’t sleep, Jake would tell you his childhood memories about your mom

You’re a very spiritual child, always talking with a calm voice, you’re a little shy and always have a good opinion on everyone (girl while Neteyam finna future clan leader, you’re the future Tsahik)

Boom Quaritch bitch ass shows back up (YALL IM SORRY BUT HIS AVATAR IS SO FINEEEEE) and y’all have to flee

You have your own Ikran and she’s named after your mother (let’s just call her Irie)

Y’all make it to the lands of the Metkayina and Ronal starts hating on y’all for being different then she points out how your hair and looks over all are different from your family’s

Neytiri hissing at her as Neteyam and puts you behind him side eyeing Ronal, Jake defending your looks (W DAD)

Y’all get to live among the clan and lowkey….Rotxo he kind of crushing on you I mean not tryna be that one writer butttt uhhh you are the prettiest member of your family (behind Neytiri no one beats her)

You and Rotxo lowkey be flirting with your eyes, giving each other shy looks and blushing like middle schoolers

BUT ANYWAYS THAT’S IT FOR PART 1 IMA DO A PART 2 (this has been marinating in my drafts for months)

[fatehbaz]

Goldstein and Mahmoudi point to what, on appearance, is a relatively new phenomenon: namely the use of digital technologies in contemporary forms of surveillance and policing, and the way in which they turn the body into the border. [...] [T]he datafication of human life becomes an industry in its own right [...] [with the concept of] “surveillance capitalism” - a system based on capturing behavioral data and using it for commercial purposes [...] [which] emerged in the early 2000s [...].

In contrast, scholarship on colonialism, slavery, and plantation capitalism enables us to understand how racial surveillance capitalism has existed since the grid cities of sixteenth-century Spanish Mexico (Mirzoeff 2020). In short, and as Simone Browne (2015, 10) has shown, “surveillance is nothing new to black folks.” [...]

[S]urveillance in the service of racial capitalism has historically aided three interconnected goals: (1) the control of movement of certain - predominantly racialized - bodies through means of identification; (2) the control of labor to increase productivity and output; and (3) the generation of knowledge about the colony and its native inhabitants in order to “maintain” the colonies [...].

---

Identification documents and practices can, like so many other surveillance technologies, be traced back to the Middle Passage [...]. [T]he movement of captives was controlled through [...] slave passes, slave patrols [...]. Similar strategies of using wanted posters and passes were put in place to control the movement of indentured white laborers from England and Ireland. [...]

Fingerprinting, for example, was developed in India because colonial officials could not tell people apart [...].

In Algeria, the French dominated the colonized population by issuing internal passports, creating internal limits on movement for certain groups, and establishing camps for landless peasants [...]. In South Africa, meanwhile, the movement of the Black population was controlled through the “pass laws”: an internal passport system designed to confine Black South Africans into Bantustans and ensure a steady supply of super-exploitable labor [...].

On the plantation itself, two forms of surveillance emerged - both with the underlying aim of increasing productivity and output. One was in the form of daily notetaking by plantation and slave owners. [...] Second, [...] a combination of surveillance, accounting, and violence was used to make slave labor in the cotton fields more “efficient.” [...] [S]imilar logics of quotas and surveillance still reverberate in today's labor management systems. Finally, surveillance was also essential to the management of the colonies. It occurred through [...] practices like fingerprinting and the passport [...]. [P]hotographs were used after colonial rebellions, in 1857 in India and in 1865 in Jamaica, to better identify the local population and identify “racial types.” To control different Indian communities deemed criminal and vagrant, the British instituted a system of registration where [...] [particular people] were not allowed to sleep away from their villages without prior permission [...].

---

In sum, when thinking about so-called surveillance capitalism today, it is essential to recognize that the logics that underpin these technologies are not new, but were developed and tested in the management of racialized minorities during the colonial era with a similar end goal, namely to control, order, and undermine the poor, colonized, enslaved, and indentured; to create a vulnerable and super-exploitable workforce; and to increase efficiency in production and foster accumulation. Consequently, while the (digital) technologies used for surveillance might have changed, the logics underpinning them have not.

---

All text above by: Sabrina Axster and Ida Danewid. In a section from an article co-authored by Sabrina Axster, Ida Danewid, Asher Goldstein, Matt Mahmoudi, Cemal Burak Tansel, and Lauren Wilcox. "Colonial Lives of the Carceral Archipelago: Rethinking the Neoliberal Security State". International Political Sociology Volume 15, Issue 3, pp. 415-439. September 2021. [Bold emphasis and some paragraph breaks/contractions added by me. Presented here for commentary, teaching, criticism purposes.]

[yeeterthek33per]

Love it, Love you (Caitlin Foord x Reader)

A/n requested

Summary: You and Caitlin are filming for the disney matildas series.

---------

Slow motion scene of Caitlin bounding over to you on the sideline, hands grabbing your face, pressing your lips together after scoring against Spain. There's a soft flow of piano music over the top.

"Ya know, I don't think we ever really explained that one to the girl's either."

Caitlin chuckles softly and shakes her head in agreeing negativity. Both of you are sitting on the white couch in your house in London. You're tucked under her arm.

"Yeah, no, I don't think we'd told them at that point. So I think they kind of freaked out on us after the game."

You lean off the couch with a soft laugh, head in your hands, ruffling your hair slightly.

Caitlin shakes her head with a sigh.

"That's an understatement. Poor Steph, girl was getting bombarded as well. Not that she knew either. Cait and I were just sitting there while they all kind of just lost their minds. Steph looked utterly disappointed that we hadn't told her sooner."

"Your sister.. well."

You give Caitlin a look.

"My sister looked ready to deck you. Macca looked like she would probably have to hold her back and Sam just facepalmed and told the girls to cool it so we could actually answer. Tony didn't even bother sticking around for the whole debacle."

"Yeah, that was a tough one. I don't think Lans has been able to trust me properly since. I love the girl, but man does she hold a grudge."

You slap her on the shoulder with an eye roll.

"Excuse me, you forget you're engaged to her sister here. I imagine any protective older sister would be peaved about one of their best mates suddenly sidling up with their sibling. Also I'd like to point out you could very well still call that woman to help you bury a dead body and she would do so no questions asked. So I'd like to think she still trusts you very much thanks."

Cut to a video of Caitlin celebrating with Alanna after a brilliant header from the defender against Jamaica.

"Don't know if that makes it better, honestly. I'm afraid she'll stick me in my sleep one day."

Cut back to the couch, You give her a playful glare.

"Just because you copped the shovel talk from one of the tallest girls on the team, does not mean she'd actually murder you. At least not without prompting. I can't imagine she would kill you without you doing something first."

Caitlin just turns her head back to the camera with an incredulous look.

"Anyway, that was four days before our third anniversary. Literally two days before I proposed. I think Alanna might have been too late to stop it or you know, try to break us up. Ya know?"

You fake a cough into your balled hand, turning away slightly.

"What? Did she actually try? Oh my god, I swear I will kick her butt if she actually tried."

You whip your head around at her, a disbelieving laugh leaving your lips.

"Oh you'll kick her but will you? What happened to being terrified of her?"

Caitlin keeps her mouth shut and you tut softly, hand resting on her knee.

"That's what I thought. Yes she did try to forbid me from dating you, cinderella style and all. But after some convincing, she switched it up to reminding me that I could still dump you if I changed my mind and she wouldn't totally gut you afterwards."

Caitlin looks dead on into the lense, an unimpressed look of told-you-so playing on her expression. You burst out laughing at that.

"See what I have to deal with? Why did I agree to marry you again?"

You smack her on the chest, backhanded.

"You're the one that proposed doofus."

She just grins cheekily.

"Oh yeah, I did too. is it too late for a refund?"

You roll your eyes, and scoff.

"Give you 'refund'."

She rubs your shoulder, pecking you on the cheek.

"You love me."

"Debatable."

You receive puppy dog eyes in return and poke her nose, a resounding groan as you push her slightly, turning back to the camera again.

The video fades to black and shifts to a new scene between you.

---------

You're standing in your backyard watching Caitlin run around and play tug of war with Peach.

"I'm so proud of her, everything she does is just phenominal and I'm glad I got to be part of her journey. The moment I got the call from her saying she'd been considered for an Arsenal transfer, it was then I knew I would follow her anywhere."

Cut to footage of Caitlin scoring against Aston Villa.

Cut back to you looking at the brunette, with major heart eyes.

"We were only together for about a few weeks at that point, but having been close friends before then made it feel like longer. She wasn't one hundred percent in it, especially since she thought she'd be leaving me in Australia on my own since Alanna was about to transfer to tottenham too."

Footage switches to Alanna, in a Manchester City hoodie, sitting in her own living room.

"I felt weird, leaving my sister, we'd always been one for one, and this was the first time we'd properly been separated by ocean. She came with me to Orlando and before that, had stayed with our parents. We both got contracted for Sydney and just hadn't really separated after that. Though I was pretty chuffed to find out she was moving closer again, with my best friend at that."

Back to you in the backyard, Caitlin now sat beside you on an outdoor recliner.

"Surprised the hell out of me, getting that call from my manager, he was like, Y/n, I've got big news, Arsenal want you. I think I was so shocked I just laughed. I thought he was one crazy a****** for joking about that. What are the chances I get contracted by the exact same club as her within just weeks of each other. Surprised her too."

Caitlin puffs out a laugh.

"You didn't mention why though. Surprised because I just mopily walk into training, thinking about how to deal with the distance anxiety and just, in you walk, day thirteen of me being in London. 'Hey, sweetheart, how's your day been? Oh yeah by the way, I'm playing here now'."

"To be fair, It was meant to be a surprisez considering I basically had to schedule everything perfectly. Without Steph's help, because ya know, that would've been suspicious."

You lean your head on her shoulder, her hsnd comes up to run through your hair.

"Stephs face was pretty funny though, what are the chances three Aussies all get contracted within just weeks of each other. The older girls were all like 'what is jonas thinking?'. It's definitely been remarkable though, both of them are phenominal and they deserve every bit of everything we achieve with the gunners."

She looks down at you with a loving smile and you grin widely back up at her.

Footage of Steph and Caitlin's starting for Arsenal, standing in the lineup, your face new amongst the starters further down the line, right beside Leah Williamson.

"It was certainly something else. Being able to play with such big names at the time. Kim Little was one in particular that I'd been terrified of in that moment. How many times I'd seen Caitlin go head to head with her. Now I know her better though, she's just a big softy and she's got a soft spot for me, too."

Caitlin shakes her head.

"I think she means spoilt, this one can do no harm in the captains eyes. The baby of the team she likes to claim. Even though she's only like two years younger than me."

You protest.

"Twenty-three was pretty young, obviously not the youngest on the team, but it's not like I was pushing thirty already, jesus."

Caitlin gets an offended look on her face.

"Excuse you, thirty is not even that old. 'Pushing thirty already' you're twenty-six, thats not far from thirty thank you, also don't let Kimmy hear you say that."

You chuckle.

"Eh, she loves me. But you're closer to thirty than me so."

And you poke out your tongue at her. Your girlfriend just looks at the camera again.

"Bloody childish, what do I tell ya?"

You kiss her cheek, a small smirk on your lips.

"You love me."

---------

Video footage of the two of you making a huge passing play up the left side of the field, playing against England. The ball gets switched in a fast tikki taka motion as you both move up the line. You make a run for the box and it's like Caitlin doesn't even have to look for you as she sends the ball right to your head for you to sneak past Earps, who despite her best efforts, can't make contact with the ball.

Cut to you both walking through a forested walkway outside of the city. A long shot from the back, and then flicks to a full shot at the front as you both slowly walk down the concrete pathway.

"When she received her first call up to the team, she called me frantically, practically balling her eyes out."

"Balling my eyes out, I could hardly talk into the phone to get it out. Coach had called me when I was at home on my own, and Caitlin was in at the office."

"I stand by this, but you'd actually called me at the worst time too. I was sitting beside my coworkers on a mini break, one of them is a physio on the Arsenal team as well as one for where I work. All they hear coming from my phone is just incoherent blubbering, followed by "Babe! I GOT IN!" Of course, I wasn't following exactly what she meant and my dumb brain just went, in like, the ice bath?"

Your laughter rings out at that.

"That's what you thought I meant?"

Caitlin nods slowly, a small blush developing on her cheeks.

"That's just what we'd been talking about at the time, including how you in particular refused to touch the ice baths for the first six months, someone basically had to carry you in with them. So like, I was excited for you to finally have gotten over that fear on your own."

You push her slightly, a loving smile making it's way onto your lips.

"That's really sweet, but no I did that three months after that, when I finally decided to stop being a wuss, now that I was actually playing in the big big big league, I had to. But that's beside the point."

"Uhuh, sure sweets, anyway, when she finally started going into the phone call itself, it did finally click in my head because I never actually explicitly mentioned the ice bath either so we were both still pretty excited, but for different reasons."

"Yeah, I did not like her initial reaction at the time."

"I was still super confused why you were like full sobbing about it though. I was like 'okay, congrats baby, you did it, no big deal'. I think she was ready to hit me after that one."

"Mild understatement."

Caitlin chuckles, bringing your knuckles up to her lips.

"so when she brought up how amazing it felt to finally break onto the national team, I just was like 'Ohhhhh... oh.... OH, Congrats baby!'."

The footage cuts to your hands linked in the between you, her thumb gently caressing the skin there before cutting back to a mid shot of you both from the front as you giggle softly.

"I just kept thinking, what did she think I meant, what does she mean no big deal. Cocky woman. To think I wanted to marry her too. She did get super excited for me, though, after that. She's a little slow, but I love her."

You give her a shit eating grin as she glares at you.

"She's honestly such a little brat sometimes, can you believe this?"

You giggle softly, bumping hips with her.

"You love it."

---------

Footage of some of the afterparty in the locker room plays, Caitlin clearly in view sculling champagne out of the trophy.

"Back at the Cup of Nations. We were out celebrating in a VIP bar, and they'd given us free entry, the whole team, I mean. There were drinks being passed around every two minutes. I think we were just so ridiculously drunk after that. Steph was the only one not really drunk. "

"Well yeah, to be fair she was kind of... well."

You roll your eyes at the striker.

"She was injured, so she had to kind of not drink. Caitlin, the dumby, dropped her kitbag in the doorway, so when we drunkenly stumbled in, we kicked it out of the way. Out popped the engagement ring. Luckily, I didn't notice. But neither did Caitlin. Steph did though, pretty sure it was the first thing to catch her eye as she dropped us both off in the hotel room. She just picked it up, threw it back in the bag, and when we were both on the beds."

"Relatively."

"Somewhat. She took a photo of us, sent it to Caitlin, and said, "Congrats, don't let Lans see you propose." Not the message I was expecting to see that morning. I'd accidentally picked her phone up.-"

Cut to you sitting at the kitchen island in your house, Caitlin standing at the stove.

"You claim it was accidental, but we both know the truth, babe."

"It was! You left your phone right next to where I charge mine instead of on your own bloody bed side. Anyway! That was how I found out she wanted to propose. Because my lovely fiancee here couldn't put her stuff away. As always."

You give her a mildly playful, unimpressed look.

"Pfft, that was all drunk caitlin, I don't associate with that chick. She's an idiot."

You purse your lips.

"Clearly."

Caitlin stays stirring the pan for a second before turning around suddenly to your suppressed laughter.

"Hey!"

You let it out at that point, shoulders wracked with laughter, head on the bench. When you finally catch your breath, you look at her again, but she's turned back to the stove. What you can't see is the small smile on her lips, which the camera does.

"Love you."

She turns her head slightly to say something back.

"You better. Ya dork."

It's your turn to pout again.

"Hey!"

You gesture to your girlfriend in front of you, eyes in contact with the camera.

"See what I have to deal with? Won't even say it back, so mean."

She turns back to you with a small wink, smirk playing at her mouth.

"You love it."

---------

The image switches to you both sitting laying back on a lounge chair set up outside the back door, watching the summer sun go down in London.

"I'm so grateful we get to be together throughout this whole experience. She's the love of my life and she's an amazing football player too."

You smile up at her from your place leant against her chest. The camera pans around as you both share a quick kiss.

"I don't know, feels like you've got me beat. I feel like I don't tell you I love you enough."

Caitlin gives a quick glance to the camera lens.

"She does it every two hours and still says that."

You pout up at her. She pinches your cheek softly, kissing you on the forehead.

"You're lucky I love you."

Caitlin looks fully up at the camera this time.

"See?"

"Oh my god. Hush up"

"You love it."

"I love you."

She chuckles and you just shake your head and bring her in for a full kiss. Fade to black.

---------

[dyemelikeasunset]

would you be able to include flag country names for the dom&mor characters lineup? ty!

(i love how diverse all your art and characters are, i wish i could read thru all about your ocs and stories like browsing through a wiki in an autism way)

THANK YOU!! In fact I can do you one better and write little blurbs for everyone! Including our leading ladies too of course Under the readmore:

Mor's side

Morgan: Jamaican American Lesbian. Mor's parents came from Jamaica but she was born in the US, where she grew up with her mom in Boston before moving to NYC. Mor went to university for a BA in Graphic Design and met most of her friends there. She works from home these days. Mor doesn't really realize she's the resident Pretty Girl in her group of friends (she has bad self esteem)

Lexi: American Nonbinary Lesbian. Lex met Mor in high school when they both played on the softball team, and they both came out to each other. They've been able to stay friends all these years cause their tastes in girls are wildly different. Lexi belongs to a different group as the rest of Mor's friends since they didn't go to the same college, but they're Mor's very annoying ride-or-die

Panos: Greek Ethiopian and Bisexual. Panos met Mor through their shared degree and has been a mentor and big brother figure for her since. They help onboard her to a lot of projects, and the two of them rely on each other professionally. He never really stops talking about his wife and daughter-- it's the price everyone has to pay, since he's so reliable and understanding and helping everyone all the time

Ryan: (Sansei) Japanese American and Gay. Out of Mor's art friends, Ryan is the one who's most practical about his job. Instead, he puts his energy into being a menace in his dating life. He loves to gossip about his and Mor's very messy love lives and is convinced Morgan is just as much of a heartbreaker as he is behind her innocent facade. She has unfortunately told Ryan all her dirty laundry so he teases her relentlessly every chance he gets

Barjis: Malay Trans and Bisexual. Barjis came to the US with their boyfriend to pursue their degree and also start their transition. They have a surprisingly cute illustration style and work with Panos and Mor often. They love to talk animated movies with Morgan, and it's one of the few things that gets them to talk a lot. Very skittish and tired all the time, and has a bit of a fear of "normies"

Elsa: Norwegian Lesbian. Elsa is Mor's unwitting rival in love because they always crush on the same girls (Ryan loves to tease her about this). Elsa is currently losing (Mor: 7, Elsa: 2) but she's not bitter, just single and sad. She's currently working in web journalism even though she wants to publish her novel. Friendly and considerate, but awkward

Dom's side

Dominique: Korean/Chinese and Asexual. Dom was born in Beijing but grew up in Seoul with her mother. She started working as a model at 16 and moved to the US alone when she was 18. She's currently coming back into the modeling world after a 2 year hiatus. She's charming and good at socializing, but she doesn't really know how to make friends, which frustrates model coworkers who want to be closer to her

Farid: Afghan French and Gay. Farid became a model in his late father's footsteps, so he's often accused of being a nepo model. He's fussy and annoyed easily, but he can never refuse helping people. One of Dom's only real friends, he's a bit like a little brother to her and relies on her a lot. He has a bad habit of dating married men and acting like it doesn't matter to him (it matters. A lot.)

Maithili: Indian Canadian and Pansexual. Maithili is breezy and easy-going, but behind her dreamy facade is a very level-headed personality. She works with Dom often for body diversity shoots, but she'd really like to do more high fashion. Very flirtatious, calls Dom and Farid her "work boyfriends" all the time

Wynter: British Trans woman. Wynter started modeling a little later than her peers. She was scouted after a big transition point, so modeling has brought her a lot of euphoria. She's one of the more mature personalities in Dom's life, and looks after her and the other models a lot. She lives with her boyfriend and is hoping he'll propose soon

Evita: Argentine American and Bisexual. Evita started as a social media influencer and has been able to make her way to the runway as a petite model. Despite their nonchalant persona, they work very hard and are very passionate about their job. Her current romance hangup is how oblivious Dominique is, and she knows she needs to move on

Inessa: Russian (and no fruity business). Inessa met Dom backstage at a Fashion Week while having a breakdown that Dom helped her through, so she's been attached like an inprinted duckling ever since. The type of straight girl who is obsessed with pretty women in a platonic way, so she really wants to get to know more about Dom's cute new girlfriend

[theclairvoyage]

Chapter 1: Boomer Sooner

Part of Bloody Knuckles series

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Pairing: Javier Peña x AUSA!f!reader

Javier's first day in OKC is nothing short of stressful-though that changes when he meets you.

Chapter warnings: alcohol consumption, smoking, adult language, mentions of violence, mentions of human trafficking, reader is able-bodied, has long hair and is roughly the same height as Javi (no other descriptors), Spanish usage (translations at the end)

WC: 3.2k

Fall 1992

Corpus Christi, Texas

Sweat drips from Javier’s forehead and temples as he pulls stubborn weeds from the dry dirt at his mother’s house in Corpus Christi.  The air is heavy and humid, compressing his chest like a thick heated blanket.  Mamá insisted she could do it herself, stubborn as the weeds.  Mijo, puedo hacerlo.  No necesito ayuda.  He’d waved her off and stepped out the front door, Tecovas boots clomping the wooden steps.

The screen door flies open with a screech, and out comes his mother, pitcher of vibrant red agua fresca in tow, garnished with fresh spearmint and strawberries.  In the fall, she loves to make Agua de Jamaica with the beautiful hibiscus flowers that bloom in late summer.  Her backyard garden is a utopia compared to the disaster of a front yard, filled with a smorgasbord of gorgeous flowers, vegetables, fruits, and bird feeders.

“Tómate un descanso, Javier.  Por favor,” she urges him.  He nods, tearing the sweaty gardening gloves from his hands, and tossing them on the porch.  He wipes his brow with the back of his dirt-covered forearm, no longer caring about how he looks or smells.  Only a cold shower would resurrect this mess.

“Gracias, Mamá.  Se parece muy bien,” he compliments her, relishing the sweet smile that stretches her freckled, weathered cheeks.  Her long, silvery mane is curled into a tight bun, wispy baby hairs fallen prey to the humidity in Corpus Christi.  She is a true Mexican mother—hardworking, resourceful, strong-willed, and unequivocally dedicated to her family.  It’s nice to see the softer side of her once in a blue moon—a refreshing break from the wooden spoon or chancla.

She pours him a hefty glass of the hibiscus drink before returning to the house, ice cubes crashing into glass with little clinks.  Javi plops himself on the old porch, sipping and observing the scene in front of him.  Fuck, that’s good, he thinks, licking his lips to savor the taste and the liquid that has seeped up into his mustache.  She knows this drink was his favorite, and boy, did she make it perfectly.

The yard, on the other hand, was not even close to perfection.  Javier’s dad passed away a couple years ago, and with Javi posted in Colombia, she had limited assistance.  Sure, family came around to help, and he knew she dabbled in some landscaping herself, but the weeds grew too quickly.

She was too proud to let any landscaping service come help her—he remembered the day a landscaping company tucked a pamphlet between her screen and front doors, and she called him enraged, smirking to himself at the memory.  “¡Pendejos estúpidos, déjame sola!”

At least he had made decent progress.  The weeds were plucked, but the grass was patchy and scarce.  He’d need to find some grass seed and plant it or convince her to buy sod—fat chance.  Chugging the last few gulps of his agua fresca, he stands and enters the house.  His mother takes the glass from him, patting his shoulder affectionately.

“Mijo, algún hombre te llamó.  No dio un nombre, solamente un número.  Está aquí,” she says, pointing a wrinkled finger at an old utility bill envelope with a phone number scribbled in blue pen.  The fuck, he thinks.  Who the fuck has my mom’s home number? Better not be some girl.

“Gracias, Mamá.  Perdóname, por favor,” he says, grabbing the envelope and returning to the front porch to punch in the number on his giant mobile phone.  It rings twice before a male voice responds.

“About time, Peña.  Ready to get back to work?” The voice echoes—cocky, smug.

“If this is DEA, you can go fuck yourself.  Already gave y’all my letter of resignation,” Javi spits.  The voice returns a few whoa, whoa, whoas, like he’s trying to rein in a wild horse.

“Got a great opportunity for you here in Oklahoma City.  Need you here by next week.  Already got an apartment and a desk saved for you.”  Javi scratches his head in confusion.

“Opportunity for what?” Javi bites back, fucking irritated at this no-namer.

“FBI.”

“Goddammit.”

The next week, Javier finds himself squinting and cursing on the sidewalk of the FBI Building on West Memorial Road in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, wondering how the fuck he got here.  He can’t remember the last time he craved a cigarette so badly.  It felt sacrilege, living in Sooner country—he was an Aggie through and through.  He pulls the rumpled utility bill envelope from his mother’s house out of his already-sweaty tan blazer pocket and re-reads the instructions for the 300th time.

-Enter parking lot via security gate and use code 584323, give them name

-Enter building on west side and go through security

-Someone will be waiting for me?

Shaking his head, he wipes sweat from his mustache and trudges toward the west entrance, straining to pull one of the doors open.  The heavy metal doors threaten to shove him back into the outside world—something he would welcome, at this point.

Walking through a maze to get to the metal detectors, he gazes up at the highly vaulted atrium, observing the boring taupe-colored walls, and stopping at a black and white photo of J. Edgar Hoover.  Two armored guards with solemn, stony faces wipe their gaze up and down Javier’s figure as he stops just before the metal detector.

“Come through,” one of them barks, beckoning to him to step through.  He obliges, before the other stone soldier puts a palm up in Javier’s face.  “Need ID.”  Javi fishes his wallet out, instinctively reaching for his phantom DEA badge.  The guard scans his Texas Driver’s License before handing it to the other guard.

“Any weapons?” One asks, as the other walks behind Javier.

“Nope,” Javi replies, assuming the familiar position of a search, hands posted up high and legs spread.  The gruff men pat him down and excavate his pockets, finding nothing but his phone, keys, wallet, and the rumpled envelope with instructions.

“Come this way, Peña.” He follows one to the round front desk to a tall, blue suit, leaning against the counter with a smirk on his face.  Javi doesn’t recognize him.  Blue Suit stands and holds out a manicured hand to Javier.

“Nice to meet you, Peña,” Blue Suit croons.  Javi recognizes the voice as the one that called his mother’s house in Corpus Christi.  Javi clasps his hand and shakes it a few times, grunting in approval.

“I’m Eddie Penn, supervisory special agent.  You’ll be with me for today—likely for a while,” he says with a grin.  Javi raises one eyebrow at him, suspicious.  Eddie trots toward some elevator doors, flashing ID at two more armored guards posted up next to them.  Javi follows him into the elevator and watches him press a yellow-stained 3.

“How’s the apartment?” Eddie asks as the elevator ascends noisily.  Javi shrugs.

“Honestly, I threw all my shit in there last night and haven’t had much of a chance to get any furniture,” he replies, studying the elevator inspection form above the floor number buttons.  Eddie chuckles.

“Sorry about that—I was pretty limited on the timeframe and places we could put you.  We’ll get you a car and help with furniture,” he apologizes, hands twitching in his pockets.  Javi shakes his head, long hair swishing back and forth.

“No worries.  I’m assuming this is important,” he says, turning to look at Eddie, eyes narrowing for a millisecond.

“Yes.  We’ll discuss everything in my office—the Assistant Director is waiting on the phone for us,” he says as the elevator screeches to a halt, doors opening slowly.  The two step out and Eddie leads Javi through a floor of gray cubicles, sounds of telephones ringing and keyboards clacking filling the air.

It’s not too different from DEA offices, Javi thinks.  There are more people, more suits and skirts, but the blueprint is the same.  Eddie nods his head at several people staring at the pair as they traverse the floor.  Javi tries to keep his eyes from meeting anyone’s—he needs to know why he’s here before he starts familiarizing himself with these people.

Eddie opens the door to an office, contents invisible to the floor, save for a narrow window above the handle.  There are two chairs facing a small wooden desk, with a giant computer monitor in one corner and a telephone in the other.  There’s a small window behind the desk overlooking the city.  Eddie gestures to one of the chairs as he steps behind the desk.

Javi sits into one of the stiff, unforgiving cushions as Eddie presses a few buttons and puts the phone on speaker.  Javi drums his fingers on the arm of the chair as he stares out the window, somewhat covered by stray hairs of Eddie’s combover.  Eddie clears his throat.

“Assistant Director, I’ve got Javier Peña here with me.  Glad to have you on the phone.” Great, so Eddie’s a kiss-ass.  A muffled, adenoidal voice replies on the other end.

“Thanks, Agent Penn.  Javier—it’s great to have you.  I read up on your work in Colombia—you’re somewhat of a hero here in the States.  What made you leave the DEA?” The Assistant Director asks.  Javi leans forward, elbows on his thighs and fingers smoothing his mustache hairs as he recounts his experience in South America.

“Well, sir—to be frank, it’s a shit ton of work trying to catch a drug lord.  The time I put in was enough,” Javi says honestly.  Eddie snaps his head up to glare at Javier—presumably for the cursing.  The Assistant Director laughs, voice even more nasally than before.

“Well, I do appreciate the honesty.  When I heard you’d quit DEA I jumped on the opportunity to have you join here,” the AD spouts.  Javi raises an eyebrow as he listens.

“Might I ask why?” Javi tests, glancing at the carpeted ground as he waits for a response.

“There’s a large-scale intelligence task force here dedicated to stopping arms and human trafficking in Oklahoma—funny enough, we know Escobar has done some dealings here, but that won’t be your focus.”  Javi raises the other eyebrow in surprise.

“In Oklahoma?  Interesting—figured he was only invested in Miami and other coastal cities,” Javi ponders.  The AD chuckles.

“He was—but he’s learned to be more discreet in his business operations.  No thanks to the great work of the DEA.”  Javi snorts.

“Anyway, Javier,” the AD continues, “Human trafficking in this part of the country has worsened in recent years.  The DEA doesn’t have enough manpower to tackle a problem of this magnitude.  So, the FBI has made it a priority.”  Javi listens, eyes scanning the room.  He leans back in the chair, crossing an ankle over his knee and pursing his lips.

“So, we are going to fast-track you to supervisory special agent, like Agent Penn here—we think your experience with the DEA has more than warranted that role, and your supervisor recommended you for this task force.  Sounds like you’ve got some great leadership abilities, Peña.  This job will pay well, a bit better than what you were making with the DEA,” the Assistant Director rambles, sounding impressed.  Javi widens his eyes.

“Penn here will train you once you pass the field tests—marksmanship, physical, drug tests—you know the drill.  Then you’ll hit the ground running with the task force.  Any questions?”  Javi furrows his brow, thinking.

“Don’t think so,” Javi replies.  He knows he can’t back out of this one—it’s a great opportunity, a pay raise—even if it’s in shitty Oklahoma.

“Great.  I’ll be in the Oklahoma Office in the next few weeks for a status report.  Looking forward to monitoring your progress.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Javi replies.  Eddie hangs up the phone and rummages through some manila case files on his desk, handing a thick one to Javi.

“This is what we’ve been working on as of late,” Eddie says.  Javi flips open the case file and pulls out some large pictures from the front.  Javi glances through photos of suspects, victims, crime scenes, and camera footage.  Some are brutal—young girls with brandings and tattoos, bruises and scrapes—some deceased, some barely alive.  Javi swallows loudly.

“Some fucking pieces of work that do this shit,” he seethes quietly, jaw ticking.  Penn nods.

“It’s tough,” Eddie says, “But we’ve made some great strides here.  Sadly, we can’t do everything.”

Javier continues flipping through the case files, now reading field reports.  Some are from the Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs in Oklahoma, some from OKCPD and other neighboring police departments.

“I’m assuming we work mostly with local LEO departments?” Javi questions, snapping the case file shut.  Eddie nods.

“Yep.  We try to work cases in conjunction, whenever possible.  We also work closely with an AUSA who has taken a liking to this task force.”

“Oh yeah?  He tough on crime?” Javi questions, plopping the case file back on Penn’s desk.

“She is,” Eddie says, raising his eyebrows.  “Real spitfire, that one.  Smart as hell.  And between you and me, she’s a sight for sore eyes.”  Javi nods, rolling his eyes.  He pictures a petite blonde in a pencil skirt.  He’s had plenty of those.

“Interesting,” he says.

“You’ll meet her sometime this week, she’s here at least two to three times a week working on cases.  Sometimes she’ll go out in the field with us, though she’s not supposed to,” Eddie says.  Javi tilts his head at Eddie.

“Why’s that?  Likes to keep tabs on the team?” Eddie shakes his head.

“Likes to talk to the victims, meet them, see everything firsthand.  Wait ‘til you see her in the courtroom—it’s something else,” Eddie says, reminiscing your powerful opening and closing arguments and connection with members of the jury.  Javi is unimpressed.

“Seen enough lawyers to know it’s all a show,” he scoffs.  Eddie shrugs.  Javi would be in for a real surprise when he finally gets the chance to meet you.

Later that evening, after filling out dozens of forms and answering questions, Javier finds himself at a local tavern, The Dark Horseman, a few minutes from his apartment.  The inside lives up to the name—dark and hazy, filled with lots of dark-stained wooden walls, tables, and chairs, with random horse paraphernalia lining the walls.

He’s the only one sitting at the bar, slowly sipping a glass of some cheap whiskey the bartender poured.  There’s an old, old jukebox adjacent to the bar blaring some sad Hank Williams ballad.  Some people are playing pool at the other end, filling the space with the smacks of billiard balls and random cheers.

The bartender steps in front of Javier, nodding at his soon-to-be empty glass.  Javi shakes his head.

“I’m good after this.”  The bartender nods again and steps away to wipe down some tables.  Javi sets the glass down and pinches the bridge of his nose, craving a cigarette.  He’d been trying to quit—but the move and the stress of a new job he knew nothing about had forced him to capitulate in the last few days.  He stands, letting the bartender know he’s going for a smoke.  As he goes to push the bar door open, someone pulls it from the other side.

There you stand, frozen in place as Javier almost slams into you.  Still holding the door, you step back a bit so he can leave.  He stares at you for a moment, entranced.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” you apologize, small smile on your face.  Javi’s eyes drop to your lips momentarily before hovering at your eyes.

“Not a problem, s’my bad.  Excuse me,” he says, mirroring your smile.  You’re taken aback at how handsome this stranger is—but you really need a drink after today.  He steps out, pulling the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and smacking them against his hand as he watches you walk inside.

You’re tall, probably as tall as him, confident, and elegant, though you’re wearing ratty jeans and a tee shirt.  Your eyes are what captivated him the most—beautiful, emotive, weary, yet still glowing.  And your scent was unlike any he’d smelled before—earthy, musky, and slightly spicy.  He shakes his head as he lights a cigarette, taking a long draw and leaning up against the wall of the tavern.

He doesn’t need to fuck a random stranger his first big day here.  What he needs is some food, a shower, perhaps another cigarette, and a long night of tossing and turning.  He finishes the cigarette and returns to the brooding bar, noticing you sitting a few chairs down from his glass of whiskey and his tab that the bartender slapped on the wood while he was smoking.

“Come here often?” he asks, almost involuntarily.  He winces at how corny he sounds, and you probably think he’s hitting on you.  He’s not trying to pick you up, but he is curious.  You turn to him as you finish a sip of some amber liquid—whiskey, maybe?

“I try not to, unless I’ve had a bad day,” you say, smiling at him as you set your glass down.  Fuck, you’re beautiful.  His breath stalls in his lungs for a moment.

“So, if I see you in here again, it won’t be for a good reason,” he says, fighting the urge to wink at you as he signs his tab.  He settles for a half smile, one side of his mustache twitching up.

You laugh and half-shrug.  He likes the sound of it—breathy, melodious, somewhat subdued.  You must be tired.

“There’s a good chance of that, though you look like you’re here for the same reason,” you say, studying him as he turns to you, stuffing his wallet in the pocket of his tan slacks.  He snorts.

“Something like that,” he says, eyeing you.  You turn to take another sip, and he takes the opportunity to study your features again.

“Well, it was nice to meet you, Stranger That Also Had a Bad Day,” you tell him, pulling a chortle from him.  You’re witty—he likes that.  He better leave before he sits in the chair next to you.

“Same to you.  See you around?” he says, raising a brow at you.

“Good chance of that, too,” you say, giving him a close-lipped smile.  He nods at you and exits the bar.  He sure hopes so.

Spanish glossary:

Mijo, puedo hacerlo.  No necesito ayuda. = My son, I can do it.  I don’t need help.

Tómate un descanso, Javier.  Por favor. = Take a break, Javier.  Please.

Gracias, Mamá.  Se parece muy bien. = Thank you, Mom.  It looks great.

¡Pendejos estúpidos, déjame sola! = Stupid assholes, leave me alone!

Mijo, algún hombre te llamó.  No dio un nombre, solamente un número.  Está aquí. = My son, some man called for you.  He didn’t give a name, just a number.  It’s here.

Gracias, Mamá.  Perdóname, por favor. = Thanks, Mom.  Excuse me a minute, please.

Chapter 2 (coming soon-ETA 05/23/24)

Taglist: @burntheedges

[jaynovz]

Madi Fic Rec List

Well hello again! I’ve been compiling this list for quite awhile, but I finally sat down to finish it. 

To me, Madi is characterized by this strict balance between her fiery spirit and the poise she must display as someone raised from birth to be a leader, to be royalty. She’s wicked smart, but also desperately young and inexperienced. She’s thoughtful and conscientious, but with an underlying desire to just go, explore the world, be part of something big, and effect change for her people.

Anyway I just love Madi a lot, and these are some of my favorite stories featuring her in the fandom. They’ve been helpfully categorized into sub-sections! 

Enjoy~~

--

Madi-centric:

Burial at sea by le_mru:

Summary: Two years after Skeleton Island, Madi sets out to find Flint and recover the treasure for the Maroon community, Flint is adjusting to a life after death, and Silver interferes as usual.

in a vault of starlight by whimsicalimages:

Summary: The distance between Nassau and Savannah can be measured as: six hundred and thirteen nautical miles, five thousand pounds’ worth of pearls, or four extraordinary lifetimes.

Alternatively: in the aftermath, Madi writes her own story.

Lightbringer Verse by ElDiablito_SF:

Summary: After failing to fix her relationship with Silver, Madi sets off to find Captain Flint again.

i’m a black ocean leaping and wide by loosedindecember:

Summary: “I am going to Jamaica,” she tells Long John Silver, pirate-killer and pirate king, “and I will have my war after all. And you are going to help me.”

Madi gets her war, and a life beyond war, too.

Quid Pro Quo by annbonny:

Summary: "Trust is a strong word, particularly pertaining to pirates.

She trusts John Silver, but with every day that passes, she is gradually realising that he may not always be around. If Flint ends up killing him- or more likely, she suspects, they kill each other- who will guarantee that the alliance will hold? What is to keep Teach from wiping out her and her people when he feels they inconvenience him?”

OR: Madi adjusts to her role as queen. It is a steep learning curve.

armed with the past and the will by whimsicalimages:

Summary: The language of winning and losing, this language that men favor – Madi can speak this language, though she disagrees with its precepts. Success takes different forms, and failing once does not mean failing forever. It does not even mean failing the next time.

lacuna by doomcountry:

Summary: Madi loves him, and that is her misery. She hates him, too, and the two are at war without ceasing in her breast; the torment, now, after sixteen years together all told, is that it has all dulled, all settled out like water undisturbed.

SilverMadi:

Where There Is Great Love by stele3:

Summary: A brief interlude in the Tether series that jumps back in time to...establish certain things.

“Do you not have a comb?”

Twitching with surprise, Silver turns. The princess—Madi—stands on the shoreline, only a few feet away. Silver quickly glances around and finds her bodyguard standing back near the treeline. Kofi, that’s his name. (Stoic man, much taller than Silver, always has a knife and knows how to use it. Silver would need the captain or Billy with him to survive an encounter.)

He smiles for the princess. “I fear that would only make the problem worse. We had little to eat in the doldrums, and that made all of this quite breakable.” He gestures to his hair but lets his hand trail longer through the air. Better that she think them weak and easily overcome. If his own body is to be a metaphor, well, at least he finds it apt.

Love and Kindness by Wildehack:

Summary: “This is insulting,” John complains, as Madi fastens the shackles around his wrists, looping a chain through to the hook in the bulwark above his bed. “I’m not rabid.”

(Or: the inevitable sex-pollen AU.)

anything for your queen by urca:

Summary: the Silvermadi pegging fic, as promised!

lover please do not fall to your knees by lucystonersix:

Summary: Despite themselves, despite everything, Madi and Silver fall in love. Missing scenes, with spoilers only through the end of season 3.

Into the Blue Blue Sea by Magnetism_bind:

Summary: Madi slowly realizes she's drawn to the pirate with the blue eyes.

FlintMadi:

Maybe in Another Life by samedifference61:

Summary: At the rail of a ship James doesn’t command, they stand shoulder to shoulder.

"John still thinks you’re dead,” James states, because it’s something that needs to be said aloud before they continue.

With eyes unblinking toward the rolling sea, Madi says, “And he still thinks you should be dead.”

James’ lip curls in anger. The wounds of betrayal are too fresh for either to say anymore.

your legs are the north star by jaynovz:

Summary: Then there’s a hand on his shoulder, warmth seeping through his shirt. He peers up into deep solemn eyes. Madi. They've struggled, side by side, ruling in concert, for weeks. Through the toil of retaking Nassau, hardening themselves from this feeling which weakens his knees in its intensity, the sheer hopelessness swamping him like dark waves.

Flint cannot let himself fall away into the abyss, he cannot fade and forget. There is at least one thing left, standing strong and entrenched as a mangrove tree, even as she mirrors his own sorrow.

"Come, Captain, it is late. Let us rest."

taking orders by le_mru:

Summary: Written for the Black Sails Rare Pair Week:

“To be entirely frank,” Madi says, her voice loud and clear in the silence of the evening, “I am concerned if you can take orders, Captain.”

“Orders?” He scoffs. “From whom? Blackbeard?”

There has been some discussion around making Teach Admiral of the fleet, which Flint was, of course, firmly against.

“No.” Madi takes a step to the side and turns graciously, facing him fully. “From me.”

she hangs upon the cheek of night by ElDiablito_SF:

Summary: Madi won't let Flint sleep, but he secretly doesn't mind.

(Set after 4x05)

Line of Sight by samedifference61:

Summary: Flint leans in close so the others won’t hear him. “She wants me to teach her how to use a blade.”

Or, Flint finds it difficult to refuse Madi, and Silver has insecurities.

On Gossamer Wings by khazadspoon:

Summary: It was the first time he had seen a woman naked since Miranda.

Miranda had been slender. Her skin was pale and soft, her hands lightly calloused but still delicate when they touched him. She had been commanding in her sexuality and he had loved her because of it. She had taken control from him, taken the reins and lead their lovemaking with confident and caring hands.

But Madi… Madi was not Miranda.

stitched with its color by x_etoile_x:

Summary: He is my friend too.

She’d reached out to him for the first time after he’d said those damning words, slipping her small hand into his and leaning against his side. Had duty not pulled them back into the world, he thinks they might yet be standing on that beach, like silent watchers in some myth, fading away to nothing with their eyes fixed on the sea.

-

The scene where Madi tells Flint that Silver is alive.

let it rain, cuz you and I remain the same by jaynovz:

Summary: “We have some time yet to wait,” Madi says, taking note of the sun’s position. Their contact isn’t due at the tavern until after dark.

James strides over to the bookshelf. "What would you suggest?" he asks, humming. He strokes a finger along the spines. "I bought a new book in the last port. If you wish, I could read it aloud." James casts her a hopeful smile over his shoulder, standing at a loose parade rest, eyes crinkled and warm.

Madi is so helplessly fond of him in this moment, the way he brims with excitement at the thought of such a simple pleasure. It is appealing, she admits, the thought of settling against James’ sturdy chest as he reads to her, feeling his voice rumble against her back while Madi is charged with turning the pages. Madi stretches languidly and rises from her seat. As much as she enjoys that type of quiet domesticity, she has a more adventurous suggestion for how to pass the time. In truth, it’s something that she's been considering for a while.

Madi cuts James a sly glance as she approaches. "Do you remember the time I caught you in here with John?"

something beyond by eleutherya:

Summary: "The bay isn’t visible from the rebel encampment, but he faces it as surely as a compass points north. Up on the fort, Flint stands with his back straight and his shoulders set, his hands folded neatly behind him. He stands there as though, if he simply waits long enough, if he hopes hard enough, the sea will return John Silver to him."

Madi and Flint have a discussion about grief after losing John Silver. Set directly after 4x01.

By Faith of My Body by x_etoile_x

Summary: Flint is unmoored in the aftermath of the battle on Maroon Island, struggling with grief and his troubled relationship with Silver. Discovering an unexpected bond with Madi prompts a difficult conversation, and perhaps the start of a new friendship. But what evolves between them quickly becomes more complicated, and Flint is forced to confront parts of himself he'd thought buried.

This fic started as a response to a prompt asking for more FlintMadi content, with a special request for non-sexual BDSM, building on the special deference he shows her and the beliefs they share. However, the dynamics between all three characters are explored and it's building toward OT3.

Written for the Built On Sand Black Sails Event 2023

OT3, MadiSilverFlint:

I’m getting tired, and i need somewhere to begin by lacecat:

Summary: Madi watches him steadily as he approaches her. “Perhaps one day,” she begins, but cuts herself off with a swallow, blinking back tears. They won’t be able to fill the hole between them, but maybe they can try to build around it, accommodate it.

He lays a rough palm on her cheek, gentle. He loves her so much. “Perhaps,” Silver says, even though they both know it’s the furthest from a promise. They have survived on far less, after all.

how we could be brought here by love by mapped:

Summary: A 4x03 AU where Flint receives a minor injury in the battle of Nassau Town and Silver is very shaken by it.

I wish for once we could stay gold by jaynovz:

Summary: Madi has discovered that pirates truly are a grimy bunch, but her two have managed to keep fairly clean the last few months when they had access to fresh water.

The governor’s mansion is filled with bustle, men scurrying about, seeking answers from both Captain Flint and their new King, but there is time enough to steal them away. Time enough this evening for some respite, to cleanse the grief and violence from the last few days alongside the dirt.

Good Morning by bana05:

Summary: As Madi prepares to take care of her lovers, they instead decide to take care of her first.

the only way out is the way back in by samedifference61:

Summary: And Silver obviously means to further agitate Flint’s state when he says, “Do you know what she said to me this morning? She said, ‘I cannot understand why the two of you have not been intimate yet.’”

a shared bath, a conversation about death, and a promise

a three way knot by jauneclair:

Summary: Flint knits; Silver pries; and Madi secretly doesn't mind at all.

your heart is the only place I call home by vowelinthug:

Summary: Madi learns the secret of John Silver's past: he used to be the worst.

pass on your way, then, with a smiling face by youremyqueen:

Summary: Flint sleeps in the spare room until he doesn't.

join your hands to your hearts by jauneclair:

Summary: Madi's approach to diplomacy in negotiating relationships is not what Flint expected.

Two Points In Space by illgiveyouallofme:

Summary: Since Silver returned from the dead, Madi has watched him and Flint dance around each other. She decides to take matters into her own hands.

And then everyone takes some things into their own hands.

--

As always, if you have a potential inclusion, feel free to DM me and I will check it out! Thanks.

[theesirenteller]

Domesticated | Unqiue

🅳🅴🆂🅲🆁🅸🅿🆃🅸🅾🅽

After the passing of his child's mother, Kadeem Mathis better known in the streets as 'Unique or Nique'; has taken on the role of being a full-time parent. Which causes more difficulties rather than smooth sailing, A full time caregiver for his son and new home in Astoria, Queens is needed. What starts off as simply business quickly turns personal when the tender love & care of a woman warms his once hollow heart.]

RATING: 𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙐𝙍𝙀

DEATH had become a normal reoccurrence in Kadeem's day to day life. Oftentimes it was business more than personal. But on December 30th,1992 Kadeem's babymama, Tori was murdered. Their son Jerome was found on the snowy cold floor beside her carved up body. She'd been stabbed over twenty times and left behind the Carvel ice cream store she had previously been in. Kadeem remembered when Tori's mother called him from the hospital. Getting that type of need caused him to abruptly leave his meeting with Raquel and show up with a rapidly beating heart. His henchmen followed behind him with ansty hands that were trigger-finger ready.

Despite not being in love with Tori, he still had a great amount of love and respect for her purely for gifting him Jerome. No child deserved to be motherless and Jerome wasn't even a year old. He never got to properly meet her, know her. He was freshly four months old. Four months old and in the hospital fighting an Pneumonia. Tears glazed his eyes as he watched his son from the incubator. As soon as his mother,Sheronda, arrived at the hospital, he felt secure enough to leave and handle Tori's murderers. And nothing surprised him more than to find out she'd been killed because of her own actions and not because of him. Kadeem learned that Tori had punched out a pregnant woman. A woman whose man she was messing with. Unfortunately for Tori, that girl had a sister from Brooklyn who ran her own gang. Nothing major, just ten girls. But those bitches were ruthless. Stone cold and colder than some men from what Worrell found out. The sadness Kadeem felt for Tori was replaced with anger.

Her hoe-antics got her killed, got her taken away from their innocent child and nearly got him killed in the process of it. Despite his anger, he still avenged her. For Jerome. It had taken less than an hour to locate them. And it took nearly two to off each and every one of them. Each woman and their innocent bystanders had gotten a face full of bullets. It was Christmas and Kadeem was feeling generous. So the man that Tori was fooling with had gotten gunned down too. He thought of taking the man's wife's life but didn't. He left her alone. She'd been in her daughter's room, hugging her child close and he just passed her by. Her child looked a few months older than Jerome. The child shared his same complexion and despite showing no expression on his face, he felt heartbroken. After that, Kareem disassociates from his emotions and thoughts as he leaves the home. All of the events that transpired, all the lives that were lost…felt unnecessary. Unnecessary tragedies.

It'd been a month since then and being thrown into the world of being a single father to a newborn had turned Kareem's life upside down. He could manage the streets of Jamaica, Queens no problem. He was a natural born leader who had an immense amount of respect in the streets. But little Jerome had him feeling like a puppy with its tail tucked between his legs. He needed around the clock care, comfort, and affection. All that Kareem provided without fuss. It was the anxiety that kept him up at night. Anxious at the mere thought of Jerome being in harm's way. Anxious that he could kiss his son good morning and the next he could be kissing his cold dead body before a funeral. Dark thoughts plagued Kareem's mind and all he kept repeating to himself was ‘’tighten up”.

When he left Jerome with his granny, Kareem went nose deep into reconstructing his life. More private, less reckless. He sold his apartment and replaced it with a two story single-family in a nicer part of Queens, Astoria.

He made sure to collect his neighbors personal information from a tech-geek at NYU. Nothing but elderly Indians, Koreans, and a few Africans lived within his block. Mainly all retired or doctors, and some even bodega owners. He had their ss information, background checks, and even family lists with photos attached. Just in case. This was a green zone, a safer spot for Jerome. And he needed to know who moved in or out of it. Make sure nobody like him or who he dealt with had any type of reason for being in this area. On this block. He had his mother decorate the whole place and she approved of the home. She even stayed in it to care for Jerome for a few weeks.

“Kadeem, you gonna need to get a housekeeper and a babysitter, boy. I ain't sign up to be either. I'm cool with watching my baby on the weekends but I ain't raising him Hell, maybe get a in house bitch, a homebody who's eager to play step-mama. I don't know but do something.” Sheronda, his mother announced over Sunday dinner.

Kadeem stopped chewing on his Mac and cheese noodles as he proceeded what she said,” Ma, you don't think it's a lil' too early for this?” His velvety voice silked through the warm dining room. “Jerome don't need no step-mama or no strangers. He got you and he got me, that's all he needs right now. His peoples.”

His mother shook her head in disapproval, “Better sooner rather than later. All that love and affection from use comes second. That baby needs around the clock care and so does this home you bought. Just how you know love don't pay the bills, it don't keep things in line either.” She rebuttals. And her words stuck with him for the next few days despite him not giving her an answer.

His days blended together over the course of the following weeks. And he was thankful that his mother continued to care for Jerome. He had sent a list of cleaning agencies and child caregiver agencies the week before he and Raq had their meeting with Sal Boseill & his gang. Sheronda had gotten started on skimming through agencies. The sixty-five year old was tired and irritated from talking to various managers and coordinators. A lot of them had nasty attitudes and Sheronda damn sure wasn't going to have some lazy, slick-mouth maid up in her son's and grandson's home.

She soon came across the thirty-ninth agency's pamphlet, Lá Casá De La Paz (The house of peace) and what sparked her interest was the dual-care services. They had full time aides who did house sitting and personal care elderly and disabled children. They also had home cleaning services solely. Sheronda hoped that she could finesse the personal care service provider into finding some to care for a newborn who wasn't disabled. Finding a nanny on top of a house cleaned just felt like so much work. And Sheronda's patience was wearing thin.

“Hola, Bienvenida a la casa de la paz, habla María, ¿en qué puedo ayudarle?” The woman on the other side of the phone line greeted Sheronda with a heavy spanish-accent.

“Um, I'm sorry I don't speak Spanish. Do you have anyone that speaks English, Maria?” Sheronda replied.

“Yes, Un minuto por favor.” The woman said before a beeping sound was heard and another voice answered, “Hello, this is Jasmine speaking, how may I help you.”

“Hey Jasmine, my name is Sheronda and I am interested in your dual-care services. I need both personal care and house cleaning services. But, not for me. For my son and grandson…” She then went on to explain her family's situation. And by the end of their two-hour long phone call, a payment plan and a list of caregivers for interviews were listed and scheduled to meet with Kareem. Things were more costly for the family than the average client due to their unique situation. No one needed to get approved by insurance. It was all independent contracting which meant cold cash and a notary contract had been set in place.

Michel'le sat in the bedroom-sized break room of Lá Casá De La Paz eating her lunch after coming to base after a long shift. She ate her plantains, rice and beans quietly in a corner seat, facing the wall. She drowned out the chair-chatter of the middle-aged caregivers who gossiped amongst themselves in Spanish with her headphones. Her cd sat in her waist belt around her waist as Brenda Lee's passion-filled song Emotions played. Her short-chubby legs spun back and forth underneath the chair as she quietly hummed along. A hand roughly rubbing against her shoulder caused her wide-eyed daydreaming gaze to break and her head to snap back. Galinda, one of her coworker’s lips moved and her head nodded to the door. Michel'le could feel the dampness of Gaildna's sweaty hand sink into the cotton fabric of her turtleneck. Michel'le quickly shoved the woman's hand off her and got up from her seat. The metal chair screeched loudly against the cool floor tiles as she rose and rushed out the room.

The music stopped and her earphones now sat loosely around her neck as she made her way to the coordinator's office. More work was exactly what she expected. Michel'le was the youngest in the staff so the patients that the other women refused or didn't show up for; Michel'le stepped in for. A bonus was that despite being an immigrant from Puerto Rico, she knew English fluently while the majority of the staff didn't care to learn. She was currently twenty-four years old despite looking fifteen in the face. Her body, her full figure of large teardrop-shaped breasts, chubby arms, plum oval-shaped thighs, and a large low-hung round fatty-rear that looked as if it should've belonged to a milf with some kids and more than a few sexual encounters under her belt should've had; was what made her look her age if not an age range close to it.

She strolled into Jasmine's office to see the umber-brown Dominican coordinator seated behind her chalky-white desk as usual, dressed in gray and black scrubs.

“Michel'le, Hey, have a seat.” Jasmine greeted as her dark brown eyes settled on the timid-standing young woman at the door.

Michel'le did quietly as told and folded her hands tightly together in her lap as she awaited to hear what she was here for.

“I've got a better position for you. Something long term. Uh-how do you say…longer contract. Off the books for the most part.” Jasmine started off before further explaining,”There's a family located in Queens, The Astoria area so it's a pretty good spot. The pay is very good, a thousand for you a week plus room & board. They want someone to be an in house nanny. Take care of an infant who's around five or six months old, clean the house, make three meals a day. I suggested you for the job along with Sonya, Eva, and Carmella. They have another agency with four other women coming.” Jasmine read over the details before looking directly at Michel'le and sighed.

“Honestly? Nena I want better for you. You're like a daughter to me and cleaning up shit, blood, and whatever else isn't what your life should be. You're a quiet girl, Un Nena Muy Buena (a very good girl) and esoy brujas (old hags) take advantage of that. This could be a start to better employment. Change isn't always bad.” Jasmine was the only one Michel'le shared more than two words with and held eye contact with. Jasmine knew the girl was very timid and a bit of a scardy cat, easily shaken up. And she wanted better for her.

Michel'le dug her tooth into the side of the gums of her lower lip as her nails dug into her palm. Small beads of sweat began to pebble underneath her arms and underneath her breasts. Change? She avoided that like the plague. But, this didn't sound bad. And it appeared that she'd be alone most of the time or in the company of the infant. ‘An infant. A small human.’ she thought to herself mentally. She'd never been around children before, let alone a baby. She didn't have much knowledge about them outside of a few antonym and childcare books she'd read at one of her client's homes.

“I don't know how to care for a child, Jasmine.” She finally spoke up. Spoken an octave above a whisper. Her voice sounded similar to her namesake, the r&b singer Michel'le. Not exactly but similar with its child-like quality, only Michel'le Ramirez was more airy. Her words left her mouth sounding like harmonious ad-libs.She spoke as though she never raised her voice in her life. And she hadn't. Ever.

“You’vee taken care of bed-ridden 80 and 90 year olds. Babies are much easier than that and they don't have slick mouths.” Jasmine dismissed, “You've got this.” She reassured her with a smile.

Saturday, January 28th came quicker than Michel'le expected. Jasmine has given her an address and interview time weeks prior. Morty's Dinner, located in the Hillside area of Jamaica, Queens was where the interviews were being conducted and 10 a.m. was her specific interview time. Michel’le arrived an hour earlier to the area due to wanting to avoid the unpredictable timing of the city's trains. Michel'le lingered around the park nearby for a bit. She was familiar with the area. She'd been to every borough because of her job. The weather was cold. A dry cold that would sting one's bones and redden their noses. She wore a white thermal turtleneck with an ankle-length indigo-blue denim dress, with her thermal long-sleeved long johns underneath. Wool socks covered her feet with four-trimmed rubber black anti-slip boots on her feet. An ankle-length Heather gray wool-trench coat covered her short frame like a blanket along with a crochet beanie that covered her head.

Her wide-eyed gaze swept across the cooped up street corners that were filled with various dope dealers and their clientele. She walked quickly to not bring an ounce of attention to herself. It was a five minute walk to the mom&pop diner she was sent to. Arriving inside the warm, breakfast food scented restaurant at exactly 9:58. She looked around for a man who fit the description of her portfolio. Mr.Mavis was described as a twenty-eight year old dark-skinned black male who would be seated at the last table on the third row. She didn't get a chance to get a full look around because she was harshly bumped into by none other than one of her co-workers, Sonya.

“Cabrón” (bastard) Sonya cussed under her breath as she bypassed Michel'le.

Michel'le squeezed at the leather strap of her purse and glared in Sonya's direction before shifting her eyes to the direction that the co-worker had come from. There he sat. And he wasn't anything that she expected. He was far more. The man across the way had the most vibrant shade of rich-sienna brown skin that looked like fine bourbon-colored mulberry silk. His luxurious attire of a gray colored animal-fur coat and black turtleneck hugged his neck perfectly made him look-like royalty. Sure, his clothes screamed money. But he sat in them with a certain type of class that made him look effortless. He wore the clothes, they didn't wear him. Even the gaunty large gold chain around his neck didn't appear tacky.

Kadeem felt someone staring at him. He felt the gaze from across the room and his eyes settled on, what to him looked like a little girl. She was very short. No more than than five feet tall and that long ass coat she had on was swallowing her up. She made her way towards his direction as his henchmen sat at the booth in front of him. Kadeem and Michel'le stared directly into each other's eyes. But both of them had different gazes. She looked startled and memeriezed while he looked curious.

“Oh hell naw, these niggas runnin' sweat shops too? Send'n youngin's n shit?” One of his men commented a little too loudly as Michel'le approached Kadeem.

She was confident he was the leader, the employer. His presence gave off this type ’je ne sais quoi’ that demanded respect and reciprocated it. His head was held high. Up close his chiseled, almost-angelic Nubian features made the back of neck grow sweaty and her palms grow clammy. His beauty was merely intimidating. “Excuse me, are you Mr Marvis?” Her squeaky tone convinced Kadeem that she indeed was a kid.

Kadeem looked her over before slowly nodding his head, “Sup, babygirl. What can I do for you?” Geez, His voice was as smooth as melted butter glazing toast. It had a subtle rasp to it but held a deep octave that sang off his lips like a Barry white song, “Call me Nique by the way,” he corrected.

“Mr.Nique…” his name sounded sweet like honey coming from her lips, “I'm Michel'le Ramirez, The agency; Lá Casá De La Paz sent me. 10:00 a.m. sharp.” Her words started off shaky but grew more firm towards the end of her informal sentence. Her accent was thicker with some words rather than others.

“Right…right. Have a seat, let Worrell get your coat,” Kadeem nudged his chin up and as if on cue, a light-skinned male in an oversized brown bomber with a low Afro had stood up and extended his arms out to take her coat.

“Oh…um…thank you.” She muttered out quickly as she briefly made eye-contact with the man as she removed her coat.

A dog was a dog and a man was a man. Nique's men and himself included had drank in her body with their eyes. Lustful looks passed across their eyes unt she sat down. Kadeem had taken notice of how Michel'le dug her fingernails into the palm of her hand. So tight that her knuckles turned white. He then sent a sharp look forward that caused his four henchmen to turn around in their seats and face forward, “Why don't y'all niggas go take a walk or sum; go get air sum air.” It didn't sound like a suggestion to Michel'le. And given the fact that they all got up and began making their way outside let her know that it wasn't.

Michel'le proceeded to remove her crochet beanie hat. Her naturally curly hair was wavy today, her short choppy bangs sat a few inches above her eyebrows. Her hair fell to the top of her shoulders Now. It was Kadeem's turn to view her through the lense she viewed him in. Kadeem was met with raw beauty. Now that he could fully see her without the coat and hat covering her up, he got a chance to see the full picture. She clearly was no kid. Maybe seventeen if he was guessing her being younger than what the profilio he has yet to read would say. And if she was that young, well he had no reason to employ her. He admired her heart-shaped outward pouty lips, taking notice of how much fuller her bottom lip was versus her top lip. He also likes her flawless ochre-brown skin, the center of the cheeks of her babyish face were a shade of coral that reminded of peaches. Most of all, he loved her big, brown eyes. He had watched Bambi a few times with Jerome and oddly enough, Michel'le reminded him of faline. Her eye shape and her gaze. She was beautiful besides her janky ass bangs and denim dress that was too long in his opinion.

“Would you like some breakfast? Get whateva you want, on me.” He offered with a heavy NYC accent and reassurance that didn't have to worry about the bill.

“Oh…um sure, thanks.” The coral tint on her cheeks deepened as she pushed her hair behind her ears, “Are you gonna get anything? It…um…might be awkward for me to just sit and eat in your face.”

She made him crack a chuckle. A chuckle that sounded like the melodical roar of the engine of a mustang. Deep and smooth. The vibrations of his chuckle bounced off her skin and left goosebumps behind, “I can eat.” He agreed.

Michel'le’s shoulders dropped in relief and she nodded her head, “Cool, thank you.” She then proceeded to open the plastic menu book and skim through it. Kadeem found her awkwardness cute. Different from the woman he dealt with daily or came across.

The waitress had come over to their table and both ordered the breakfast special which included, scrambled eggs, two sausage links, hash browns,a coffee and a slice of apple pie or a stack of pancakes. Kadeem chose pancakes while Michel'le chose apple pie.

“So, why you want the job?” Kadeem asked as soon as the waitress was out of ear shot.

“Well um-”

“Yo, excuse me but you mind looking me in my eyes when you speak to me, baby girl,” Kadeem cut in.

Her blush spread up to the corners of her ears now. Her face grew hot as she moved her gaze from the menu to his eyes. Her mouth suddenly started to feel dry, “I'm sorry, it's a force of habit.” Michel'le quickly apologized with a slight stutter.

“It's all good.” He assured her with a nod, folding his gold-ring covered fingers together as he leaned forward, Kadeem smiled at her with a smile that made her feel at ease. He had a smile that could open the gates of heaven, “So, tell me why you want the job.”

The softness within his eyes made her feel relaxed and more comfortable to open up, “Well, it sounds nice.” She started off with a smile slowly creasing the corners of her lips, “I mean it sounds like light work compared to what I'm used to. I'm good at tranquility, and I want the job because I like spaces that are peaceful and you want a peaceful home. I can provide that.“

The pair shared a lingering look and for Michel'le this was rare. She couldn't bring herself to look elsewhere. The subtle smile on his lips that was slowly turning to a smirk,

“You real sweet Michel'le.” he said casually just as the waitress brought over their food. His type of casualness made her speechless. Unable to respond because she hadn't come across someone like him before. His cool, calm, and calculated demeanor made her feel so frantic and feral on the inside.

The pair mutually and inaudibly graced each other with the respect of silence to enjoy their food while it was hot. The chimed medley of forks clicking against porcelain plates was what could be heard for a good ten to fifteen minutes. Every so often their eyes would meet and Michel'le would be the first to look elsewhere in a bashful manner. Tapping her mouth to clean off any crumbles of food, she proceeded to ask about his son, “What's your baby's name? The profilio didn't give his name, sorry. Just that he's an infant boy.” she nibbled at the side of her lip as asked further, “what's he like?”

The authentic smile of happiness that formed across Kadeem's face at the mention of his son, “My boy's name is Jerome.” The smile on Kadeem's face brightened up the whole room in Michel'le’’s eyes. It was sweet to see.”He's beautiful, real beautiful. The moment we met, I looked into his eyes and just saw an angel. My biggest blessing fo’real.” He could really rant about how great his baby boy was all day, but instead he took out his leather wallet and pulled out a credit card sized photo of the boy. Michel'le moved her plate aside and leaned over the table to get a closer look, Kadeem caught a whiff of her perfume. She smelt like peppermint and vanilla buttercream frosting. An unexpected mixture but he was digging it.

“He looks just like you,” she smiled as she further looked at the photo, “You're right. He's beautiful. I like his eyes, they're pretty.”

“Preciate’ that babygirl, he's my mini me fo'real.” Kadeem replied before he pushed his plate aside and opened the portfolio given to him by her agency. A few things on it made one of his eyebrows raise, “You twenty-four? I woulda guessed seventeen.” He commented aloud as he read, “From Culbra, Puerto Rico, hm? It says you only been in the states eight months, ya English is real crystal clear tho…” he nodded in approval before flipping to client forms.

“Thanks, uh I spoke English back home. It was taught in grade school as a secondary language. Tourism jobs helped me be more fluent too, I guess.” Michel'le shared quietly as she slid over her plate of apple pie. Kadeem nodded his head but didn't utter a word due to focusing on reading over her patient performance biweekly reports.

*You ever taken care of a child before? Cause all I'm seeing here is a whole lotta old niggas here on they last days.” Kadeem began to wonder why his mother went to an agency who specialized in the elderly and not children. His son nor him needed AARP or a bedpan. “No disrespect, sweetheart. I mean I'm sure that them niggas is more of a handful than Jerome.” He quickly added on.

He looked her directly in her eyes as he awaited an answer and despite Michel’le wanting the job, she wasn't going to lie. “No I haven't. Ever.” She admitted with a firm tone. The first one that bothered to appear in the midst of their conversation. She managed to push past her stutter and nervousness to give a solid answer without feeling defeated.

Kadeem sent a head nod her way as he ran his tongue across his bottom lip. “Ain't much of a problem.” His attention shifted behind her as his henchmen decided to make their way back inside the diner and walk past his & michel'le's table just as he asked, “You know how to cook? Not no hospital patient food, I mean do you know to rock them pots, babygirl.”

“She sholl ain't get that muthfuckin' thick eatin' no

rabbit food.” One of his henchmen muttered underneath his breath as he passed Kadeem. None other than Tez-G. Kadeem shot him a look that could only be read as ‘If I wasn't busy I'd punch you in the fucking mouth’

Luckily, He said it closer to Kadeem than Michel'le because by the looks of it, she didn't appear to hear. The girl was with her head down, silently eating her pie as she contemplated her answer.

“Well, that's uh…a matter of opinion… isn't it?” She replied awkwardly as she fiddled with her fork, “ I think I cook fairly well. I cook for myself only what I've been taught by my mother and her mother. But um, it's not about me. It's about you, serving you what you like.” She clarified before placing a forkful of apple pie in her mouth.

'Serve you' Kadeem liked the sound of that. It fed his king mentality and ego.

“Word.” He smirked.

The remainder of their time lasted ten minutes, when their breakfast desserts were finished, Kadeem stuck his hand out, “Preciate’ you choppin it up wit me, Michel'le.”

As she reached her hand out to shake his,the way he said her name made her feel scatterbrained. Sure, she thought she had a decent name. Michel'le didn't have a problem with it but the way kadeem said it made it sound pretty, Or maybe if only sounded pretty coming from his mouth. Michel'le wasn't able to get in a second thought because he had kissed her knuckles instead of shaking her hand and she wasn't expecting that at all.

“I'll be in touch.” The words that spilled from his heart-shaped lips went in one ear and out the other because she still was hung up on the fact that he kissed her hand. The softness of his lips reminded her of the softness of marshmallows.

“O-okay.” The care attendant managed to squeak out. A wobbly, goofball smile sat heavy on her pouty lips, “Thanks for breakfast.” She rushed out the words with a mousy tone as her anxiety flared up when she stood up. She needed to get up and go before embarrassing herself (further) by talking too fast or stuttering too badly. Her mind was in overstimulation mode. Which was a rare occurrence for a woman like her who walked with a high sense of numbness to any and everything around her.

She swiftly waved goodbye with her hand moving frantically. Kadeem had just sat there with a smirk of amusement laid across his lips as he sent her a head nod. He definitely has his fun subtly messing with her. Michel'le was easy to read in his opinion.Her genuineness was displayed within her eyes. He watched as she rushed out of the diner with her coat and beanie in hand.

Kadeem's attitude during the duration of her interview was the nicest he had been in the last few months. Even before his baby mother's passing, he'd been hard and cut throat. Raq was moving shady and he was smoking her out one flame at a time. Also, he cut corners in his crew, discarding rats and bringing those who showed ‘’loyalty’ at the levels of survival of the fittest. This was war and he needed the strongest soldiers lined up behind him.

“Nique what you did that got that girl running out like a church mouse?” Worrell joked as he slid into the seat that Michel'le once sat in.

“Just being friendly.” Kadeem chastised with a smirk.

“Yeah, be a lil mo friendly and she might go into cardiac arrest or some shit. She got a real bugged out look.” Worrell attempted to widen his eyes enough to get them to be as big as hers.

“You look stupid as fuck, yo. Matter fact, stop looking at me nigga, it's offensive.” Kareem mugged him with a look of annoyance. He let out a chuckle when Worrell huffed. “Come on man, back to work.” Kareem dropped a crisp hundred dollar bill on the table before he rose up from his seat.

Kareem's day blended into the night and that spilled into the early morning hour of six a.m. He'd taken the long way home to his new residence and ended up walking through his front door at 7 a.m. The aroma of Fodgers coffee beans brewing let him know his mother had gotten up and was occupying the kitchen. And after he left his shoes by the door and made his way into the kitchen, he was met with exactly what he expected. There in the center of the kitchen Sheronda was seated at the kitchen table. Her usual silk bluebonnet laid on her head, a mug of coffee in her left hand with a Newport cigarette between her fingers.

“Hey Mama.” Kadeem greeted warmly as he took a seat across from her.

A look of relief flashed across her eyes as her shoulders visibly settled down. With the life he lived, it was a blessing every time he came back in one piece, “Hey suga.” She greeted tiredly with a soft welcoming smile.

“I got some good news, well more for you than for me but still good.” Kareem grinned. And when she raised her brow and awaited his response, he continued “I may have found

a caregiver for the crib and Jerome.”

“How old is she?” Was his mother's first question. She hoped the woman in question was someone seasoned when it came to the task and at least in her late fifties. Her age range request for the agencies was fifty to sixty-five.

“Dang ma, you ain't gonna ask about her credentials first?” He teased with a chuckle.

All jokes aside, Michel'le had sixteen pages worth of up to date credentials that sparked his interest. She knew how to administer a series of medications, change wounds, use stitching to properly cover wounds, hell she cleaned immobile people from top to bottom and the patient's families said she made them feel safe and comfortable. Grown adults who were being cared for like infants,

“If she's something nice to look at I doubt you give a damn about her credentials.” his mother replied while giving him a side-eye.

Kadeem only laughed his mother off, “Man ma it ain't even like that. Plus, I think she's a nun or some shit like that. I mean…she showed up covered up from top to bottom.” Even with the information he had told her, his mother looked at him as if she didn't believe one bit of what he was saying. Kareem only chuckled as he stood up, “Look, do you wanna do the job? Because we can cancel all this.”

Sheronda kept quiet before shaking her head and taking a sip of her coffee.

“Aight then, I'm gonna go check on little man then shower.” He placed a kiss on his mother's cheek before heading upstairs.

All jokes aside, Kadeem had no interest in pursuing Michel'le in any aspect. Romantically, Sexually, etc. His main focus was getting Jerome comfortable so that he could get the kingdom he built in order and be better than ever. Outside her beauty, Michel’le wasn't his type. She was too green and damsels in distress wasn't his thing. But then again, Kadeem couldn't overlook that his taste in women was merely a product of his environment. They were predictable. He knew what they liked and how they moved. They all turned on him at some point. All snakes in the grass looking for the next with more street credibility, money, power, and anything else that was superficial. Like him.

[youremyheaven]

I recently came across a video of a man in Jamaica talk about how any man who sleeps with a woman must consider her lineage and his lineage ( ancestors) and ask for permission before sleeping with her.

He then went on to say because men are unaware of this, they sleep around and age faster and deteriorate in spirit because they are not mindful of who's ancestors did not allow for them to engage and they did it regardless.

What is your take? I have heard another woman named Autumn of Embody Jaguaress on instagram talk about talking to your womb and asking her if she is ready to share her waters and space with a man before engaging in sexual intimacy.

Super interesting!!!!

in general, i think its best to be very picky with who you are being intimate with.

whatever terminology you want to use or whatever spiritual justification you want to have, you have to be wise about who you're sharing that vulnerable space with.

these are the facts:

you dont always have good sex

not all men are good in bed

how someone treats you in the moments building up to sex, during it, after it etc are VVV IMP and unfortunately not everyone is going to treat you well.

girlies are sensitive about mean things someone says to them, imagine someone being mean to you, or not being particularly caring when you're butt naked with them. that shit will scar u

4. casual sex is a myth. there is nothing casual about sex.

no matter how much social media and the whole sex positivity movement tries to convince women otherwise, sex is a deeply emotional activity and women have an entirely different relationship to it than men.

sticking your dick inside someone is less emotional than having someone INSIDE YOUR BODY. men do not have the same emotional attachment to sex (although many men are sensitive about it because of other reasons. ex: they want to be with someone they can trust, feel comfortable with etc. contrary to popular belief, even men have insecurities, about their bodies esp, so not all men want to sleep around)

the only other person who will ever be inside your body is your actual baby that you make and just like how people are intrinsically wired to love their babies because they were once inside them, and you made them with your flesh and blood, having a man inside you forms an energetic connection to him.

i know many men and women with like 30+ body counts and they've admitted that they've only had good sex with 1 or 2 partners who they shared a close emotional relationship with. and both men AND women have told me that they've felt "used" during hookups. its not because they were assaulted/ abused/ taken advantage of or anything. they were all willing, consenting adults who chose to hookup, its that being naked and intimate with someone is vulnerable, when you wake up the next day and cant talk to each other or be affectionate, it makes you feel like shit. im thinking of all the times, i was in bed with pookie and how we'd lie down and talk about random stuff and we'd laugh so much 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬and how there are 100 million non sexual things like this that make sex better.

sex lasts for 10 minutes, the rest of the time you have to be there with them as a person.

im not saying you should or shouldnt hook up with people or engage in casual sex. thats entirely up to you. im not saying its right or wrong. im just sharing my thoughts on what it means to be intimate with someone.

[callsignbaphomet]

Okay, so I finished all three WIPs so I'll upload them one by one. I'm uploading them in "order" so it makes better sense. These don't have titles because like I've said before I am absolute trash at coming up with titles. As usual TWs are at the top and if I forget any I'm sorry, it's not my intention so kindly let me know if something needs to be tagged.

☆★☆★→Link to google Doc←☆★☆★

In case someone prefers to read it there than here.

Trigger warnings: firearms, weapons, death, drugs/chems, alcohol, sexual themes, sexual content, panic attack.

◃───────────▹◃───────────▹◃───────────▹

“Dagny, vent på meg.” Jelani called out to Dagny as the little night stalker sped up and climbed up on top of a ruined and blown up car and stared off into the distance, her ears were perked up, her body was stiff and her tail was still and alert.

“La oss gå, Dag.” Jelani said as he walked past the vehicle and continued to walk. He was in no mood for games, not when he was operating on less than two hours of sleep and heavily craving another shot of Calmex. The night before was bad, bad enough that he used up the last two Calmex he had left and he wouldn’t be able to get his hands on another batch for another five days. The nightmares were getting worse.

Dagny looked back at Jelani and let out a quiet bark to get his attention. As soon as he turned around to look at her Dagny kept her eyes fixated on him, her body was still and stiff though he noticed her left ear twitched and bent to the side. He sighed and looked to where she’d been staring and as soon as he did Dagny gave a subtle wiggle as if celebrating the fact that Jelani looked in the direction she wanted him to look. Jelani saw nothing, just tall dry grass as far as the eye could see and several miles away were some ruins and half destroyed buildings.

“A’ight.” Jelani walked over to the car and climbed it to see if he was able to see what had gotten such a strong hold of Dagny’s attention. As soon as he was on the roof he knelt beside her and looked in the same direction. “Hva er det, jente?”

With a better vantage point Jelani could see a little further away. About fifty feet away he could make out what looked like three people struggling or fighting, it was hard to tell from that distance. He retrieved a pair of binoculars from his backpack to get a better view of the situation. There were actually four men. Three of them, who appeared to be farmers, were fighting a fourth man. It was hard to tell what the fourth man was, he could’ve been a scavver, a random settler or anyone else really. Jelani looked up to see the position of the sun, it was still early and he was close to Jamaica Plain, a little detour wouldn’t hurt given how early he decided to take off.

“Kom igjen, Dag.”

Jelani and Dagny made their way to the quartet as fast as they could and once they were about twenty feet from the group both of them slowed down and hid amongst the tall grass. Now that he was closer Jelani could see each of their faces clearly, three of them he’d never seen before but the fourth one, the one the farmers were attacking, surprised him. It was that raider that saved Dagny from drowning when he’d been jumped by the Bunker Hill raiders. Jelani knelt as he grabbed his sniper rifle and once he positioned himself he pointed to Dagny with his left index finger and as soon as the little night stalker saw his hand he then brought up the same hand and pointed to one of the farmers, specifically the one holding a wooden bat, with his index and middle finger. Once he was sure Dagny understood her instructions he then held up his middle, index and thumb. While crouching Dagny took a few steps forward and patiently waited for Jelani.

“Get your bitch hands off me!” Angelus yelled as he struggled to break free but the farmer holding him pulled out a switchblade and pressed the tip to his neck.

“En.” Jelani whispered as he took aim. His crosshairs sitting right on the farmer’s left ear. Dagny slowly brought forth her right foot and set it down on the dry ground.

“From now on we ain’t waiting for no goddamn Minutemen. We’ll take care of you scumbags our own damn selves.” The man holding the bat said as he brought it up behind his shoulder and gripped it so hard his knuckles were turning white.

“To.” Jelani inhaled as he carefully wrapped his index finger around the trigger. He made enough contact with it to apply some pressure though not enough to pull it yet.

The other farmers yelled in agreement. Their frustrations were justified and their anger had made a lot of them bolder than even most of the Commonwealth raiders. Something happened in the last year that offset the balance within raider ranks. New groups and gangs were slowly filtering in little by little into the Commonwealth, these gangs were far more aggressive, destructive and far more dangerous than the raiders that had called Boston their home for years now. At first it was nothing the newly reformed Minutemen couldn’t handle, in fact, some of them seemed to enjoy the challenge, especially their new general. However, the Minutemen’s push back only managed to come off as a challenge to these new raiders and before long the Commonwealth was yet again thrust into war. Many people from both sides had been killed and the Minutemen’s numbers were suffering because of it. With the fight against the Brotherhood of Steel and the Railroad once again focusing on fighting the Institute, a new group that had swallowed the Triggermen and were making a play in the metro area of Boston meant the Minutemen were stretched thin and everyday citizens had had enough. Most were arming themselves and taking to killing anyone they suspected of being a raider. Some thought it was about time but others had grown accustomed to the new general’s proposition. She wanted to do things the way the old world did: leave the raiders, thieves, murderers and other less than pleasant people of the Commonwealth in the hands of a force that was dedicated to taking care of those problems and serving up their own brand of justice dependent on the severity of the crime.

“How ‘bout we kill this bitch and put his head on pike, boys? That way his buddies know not to fuck with us.”

“Tre.” Jelani exhaled slowly as the word left his mouth. Once he felt his lungs empty and right before he inhaled again he pulled the trigger. At the same time he pulled the trigger and the .50 bullet flew out of the silenced barrel of Gungnir Dagny took off with such speed and power her hind legs kicked up the dirt from beneath her paws. The bullet pierced the farmer’s head, the entry point being his left ear and before his body could hit the ground Dagny had pounced on the man holding the bat, the man Jelani had pointed to. She snapped her jaws around his throat. With the momentum she’d gathered as she ran she managed to bring him down to the ground where she proceeded to bite down as hard as she could and pulled so hard her claws dug into the man’s flesh. An almost gross orchestra of her vicious snarls and the man’s gurgled screaming filled the air.

The third man had turned to run but Angelus quickly moved to pick up the switchblade the other farmer had pressed against his neck and tossed it as hard as he could. The blade sunk into the back of his head, he was dead by the time he hit the ground. Angelus then turned around and saw a familiar face emerge from the tall grass, he was still tense from the ordeal but as soon as he recognized him the raider relaxed a bit.

Jelani reached into his coat and took out a silenced .22 pistol. He aimed it at the man Dagny was currently mauling and in a serious tone said, “Gi slipp.” As soon as he said it Dagny released the man and walked over to Jelani, she sat right by his feet while he took aim and shot the farmer in the head.

Once the last of the farmers was dealt with both Jelani and Angelus stood still and stared at each other in silence, it wasn’t awkward by any means, it was more like both of them were carefully analyzing the situation they found themselves in.

“Well, this is a surprise.” Angelus broke the silence once he gathered Jelani wasn’t a threat to him, he figured if he was there to kill him he would’ve been the first one he would’ve shot just to make sure he wouldn’t get away. “Didn’t think I’d see you again.”

“You okay?” Jelani asked as he put the .22 away.

“Yeah, yeah. Just…assholes caught me off guard, you know?” He waved off the mercenary’s concerns, mostly out of embarrassment that he’d been jumped by a pack of farmers. Pissed off farmers but farmers nonetheless.

“Where you headed?”

“I was uh…hmm…” Angelus was actually on his way back to Nuka World from Egret Tours, a settlement he’d befriended some time ago, but he wasn’t about to give that information out to just anyone. It was a tumultuous time to be a raider in Boston, even worse if you were a raider from outside of Boston. Angelus was in no hurry to get back to Nuka World so he smiled and said, “Wasn’t actually going anywhere in particular. What about you? You look like you’re getting ready to cause some serious damage.”

“Contract.”

“Not much of a talker are you?” Angelus chuckled as he relaxed a little more.

“Nope.” Jelani looked down at Dagny who happily looked back at him and snapped his fingers while saying, “Kom igjen.” Dagny stood back up and walked beside him as both headed south.

Angelus watched as both of them kept walking to wherever it was that they were heading and stood still. He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t wanna stay in the Commonwealth a little longer. Life in Nuka World was beginning to feel stressful with the gangs getting worked up over Colter ignoring everyone’s pleas to expand their territory into the other parks. Plenty of people guessed it was only a matter of time before war broke out between the gangs and while some welcomed it others like Angelus were worried. He had friends in other gangs that he’d rather not kill over some bullshit started by unrest because of Colter’s lazy ass. The less time he spent in Nuka World the lesser the chances of him being involved in an all out war. Now, he could go back to Egret, he was free to come and go as he pleased, but as he looked at the mercenary another idea crawled its way into his head.

“Hey!” Angelus called out and the mercenary and the little night stalker both turned around to look at him as he ran up to them. “Mind if I tag along?”

Jelani jerked his head back as he stared at the raider in confusion, “Why?”

“Well, I’m in no hurry to be anywhere specific and maybe I can help since you helped me with those guys.”

Jelani slightly tilted his head sideways and furrowed his brow as he looked at the raider. He then looked at Dagny who looked up at him and as if she was somehow trying to voice her opinion she let out a yap and wagged her tail while rhythmically stomping her front paws on the ground and panting excitedly. Jelani shrugged as he turned back to the raider and Dagny made her way to greet him.

“Angelus, right?”

“Yeah.” Angelus answered with a pleasantly surprised tone. He doesn’t remember ever introducing himself to him, not now and much less the first time they met. However, the girls that stitched up the mercenary’s injuries did call him by his name so he guessed he picked up on it and remembered. He was honestly impressed. But then again Angelus was really bad at remembering names so someone remembering his name after hearing it once a few weeks back made him smile.

“That’s Dagny.”

Angelus crouched down to pet the little night stalker who happily wagged her tail as Angelus scratched her behind her ears with one hand and rubbed her chest with the other while cooing at her.

“Pretty name for such a pretty girl. Yes, you are.” He gleefully squealed as he continued to pet her, he then looked up at the mercenary and while still petting Dagny said, “What kinda dog is she anyway?”

“Technically she’s not a dog, she’s a night stalker. Most people just refer to her as a dog anyway.”

“Makes sense, I mean she looks a little like a dog and acts like one too. Where’d you get her?”

“New Vegas.”

“Goddamn, you’re a long way from New Vegas. The hell brought you to this dump anyway?” Angelus looked up and saw Jelani’s expression shift ever so slightly. He was still serious but there was something else behind his expression, mostly in his eyes, that Angelus couldn’t quite put his finger on and soon realized he may have asked the wrong question. He quickly stood up and in an attempt to move the conversation to another direction, and still get a little bit of information out of the mercenary, he quickly said, “Okay, so this is Dagny. What about you?”

“Jelani.” He whispered as he lowered his gaze and turned around to continue walking south. Angelus thought it best to stop asking questions for now even though he was tempted to but he knew better.

The three of them made their way south and after almost forty minutes they were nearing a large settlement called Jamaica Plain which peaked Angelus’s curiosity. With how well armed Jelani was he was sure the contract he was fulfilling was a hit so he prepared himself for a fight. However, instead of walking directly into Jamaica Plain Jelani veered off to the west several yards from the settlement and kept walking. Angelus curiously followed behind him. He was about to ask why he was heading in that direction but his question was answered when Jelani began to climb up part of the broken down highway. It was a bit of a steep climb but both of them made it to the highest point of the highway that comfortably overlooked the large settlement. Once in place Jelani put his backpack and sniper rifle down beside him and sat down as he looked over the settlement. He seemed at ease so Angelus figured he’d sit down too. He walked over to Jelani and Dagny and sat close to Jelani and silently looked over the settlement though his eyes would occasionally dart over to the mercenary. He was as easy on the eyes as he remembered him. At one point Angelus looked him up and down and felt the corners of his mouth hike up to form a smile. It wasn’t so much that he was easy on the eyes, he found him exceptionally pretty. From the very moment he first laid eyes on him he couldn’t help but be taken aback, the only reason Angelus helped him was because he was almost instantly smitten or at least that’s what he tells himself just to convince himself he’s at the very least somewhat decent. Had Jelani stayed in Egret that night Angelus had planned to make a move on the mercenary if his head injury permitted. Even now he wanted to make a move but he was sure he’d be turned down while he was yet to finish the contract so Angelus was left with fantasizing and imagining what was hiding under that coat.

“So…” Angelus began as he averted his eyes, “What uh…what are we doing here?”

“Waiting.” Jelani answered as he looked back at Angelus who gave him a look as if waiting for him to elaborate on why they were sitting on a broken highway. He sighed as he came to terms with the fact that his current companion was a lot more talkative than Jelani was comfortable with. He wasn’t angry about that, in fact, he saw it as an opportunity to relearn social skills he’d lost in the few months he’d been in Boston. Since he got there he hardly spoke or socialized with anyone. He had so many fears and so much anxiety and paranoia that it made it hard to even talk to people, even now he was fighting back against the intrusive thoughts he’d been haunted by since the day after his father found him in that basement. He looked down to see Dagny curled up and asleep next to him, he took the little night stalker’s relaxation as a sign that the raider next to him was safe for now so he gathered up his courage, inhaled and indulged the raider’s curiosity. “Ex-Gunner turned Minuteman. Was contacted through a friend who introduced us. Guy abandoned his post and joined the Minutemen so now this Gunner’s looking for some payback.”

“And why are we waiting? Why not just go down there, lure him out and kill ‘im or are we waiting for nighttime to sneak in there and kill ‘im in his sleep?”

“Nah, too much trouble. His shift usually starts at 1400, he patrols the north road where the diner is. That entire road is his until his shift ends at 1900. Take him out once he’s out there.”

“1400? What’s that?”

“Another way of saying 2:00 pm. Twenty-four hour format or as some people say military time. There’s NCR and Enclave with a little bit of Brotherhood of Steel in my family history.” Jelani was hesitant sharing that information and he immediately regretted it though there was nothing he could do about that now. He made a mental note to be more careful going further.

“Wait,” Angelus began to chuckle, “You’re an army brat? Oh, my god, that is hilarious and makes so much sense.”

“How so?”

“The way you took out those two farmers! I never even heard you approach us and that was a clean shot. I’ve never seen shit like that before. Not to mention how well trained your dog is. Also you’re, like, serious all the time.”

“Um, I guess.”

Jelani lowered his gaze and turned to look at the settlement below. He was starting to feel uncomfortable with the way Angelus was staring and smiling, he was well aware that he wasn’t going to hurt him but his mind was wandering to a place he didn’t want to go to, not now that he was feeling relaxed and surprised that he was actually interacting with another person. He focused on a brahmin and watched its movements carefully as he took deep breaths and exhaled as a way to calm himself in order to avoid another panic attack. With every breath he could feel his heart rate slowing down. Surprisingly the preparation he did whenever he was getting ready to make a long range shot on his sniper was exactly what helped him to calm down. Despite the rumors snipers don’t have the ability to stop their heartbeats, however, they can do specific breathing exercises to relax their bodies, slow down their breathing and maintain a type of control over their heartbeats that allows them to pull the trigger at the exact right moment to avoid movement even microscopic ones.

“So where you from?” Angelus asked almost absentmindedly and as soon as he realized what he asked and remembering Jelani’s earlier reaction he sort of flinched.

“Capital Wasteland. Was there till I was around eleven or twelve.”

“Really? Wow, I heard that place was messed the fuck up.” Angelus was surprised his question hadn’t caused any discomfort and was relieved to see Jelani was starting to relax around him.

“It is but then again what place isn’t nowadays. What about you? From your accent I figured maybe from somewhere in the south.”

“Yeah,” Angelus’s face brightened as a huge smile formed on his face. Not many people could make that connection, “from some bum fuck middle of nowhere town in Mississippi. Not a very nice place, full of just mean people, mean critters and a big ass radioactive stinky river full of some foul ass shit that will kill you if you get too close to it. Kind of miss it.”

“Sounds charming.” Jelani chuckled and smiled.

Angelus couldn’t help but stare at him, he was gorgeous and his pale blue eyes seemed to light up when he smiled. Angelus caught himself staring and as he felt his cheeks flare up he looked away and said, “Noticed you have one too, an accent I mean, it sounds weird. Not a bad weird, I mean just weird weird. That wasn’t English that you spoke to your dog earlier was it?”

“No, it wasn’t. Turns out that before the war some family came here and were trapped once the war started. Two hundred years later and I’m the last in that line.”

“Do you know where they were from?”

“Norway.”

“So is that language from where your family’s from?”

“Yeah, they kept passing it down and my dad taught me how to speak, write and read it, Norwegian by the way, before he taught me English so I learned English the same way he was taught.”

“We might have something sort of in common. According to my mom my dad was some caravan trader whose family was actually from Russia, they’d actually made it here some thirty something years before my dad was born. I don’t know what Russians spoke though. Only Russian word I know is my last name: Malakhov. So is it just you and your dad and your dog?”

“It’s just me and Dagny…my dad’s dead.” What Jelani really wanted to say was that his dad was dead because of him but given that he wasn’t ready to come to terms with that he simply left it at that and lowered his gaze as his smile faded and his expression turned somber.

Angelus picked up on the sudden change and he moved closer to Jelani till both of their shoulders were touching. Jelani jumped at the feeling of coming into contact with someone else. His immediate instinct was to pull away but he didn’t, he turned to look at Angelus who had a sympathetic look on his face and in a soft tone said, “My mom’s dead too. She got really sick and just kept getting worse and worse until she died. I later went to live with an old raider turned merc until one day he just didn’t come back home, figured he died out there somewhere. It’s just been me ever since. Hell, I don’t even have a dog.” He pointed at Dagny and then looked back at Jelani.

“Technically…” Jelani started, he waved off the need to safeguard himself by not revealing anything about himself to anyone, “my dad was actually my brother.”

Angelus coughed as he tried his hardest not to laugh so he bit his lips and said in a strained voice, “Oh, sweet pea, you sure you ain’t from the south?”

It took him a few seconds but Jelani started to laugh once he realized that the sentence had come off as a little strange and he needed to elaborate otherwise it would look like his family tree was going in circles. “Ja, pretty sure. What I mean is that my parents died when I was almost two-years-old and my brother who was seventeen at the time took care of me. I honestly don’t remember my parents, sometimes I can sort of remember little details but not enough to form an actual memory of either of them. I think it’s better that way, how are you gonna grieve someone you had no attachment to? So my brother raised me, he’s been the only parent I’ve actually known so I started calling him dad and it just stuck. I used to forget he was my brother and not my actual dad but neither of us cared. Now he’s gone. Irony of it all is we both lost our parents at the same age.”

Jelani was surprised at himself, he revealed a lot more than he had anticipated and it was the first time he thought about Loke without breaking down into hysterics and the first time he spoke about him since he died. He couldn’t explain it but talking to Angelus about it felt like a weight had been lifted off him, ever since Loke died he felt like he was pinned to the ground by a massive boulder that got heavier and heavier as the days passed but talking to him about it alleviated it, or at least some of it. He took a deep breath and let out a nervous sigh, or maybe it was a sigh of relief, he wasn’t sure. Perhaps that sensation was what Loke and the caravan doctor had talked about when they told him he needed to talk to someone about what had happened that night but he hadn’t been ready, he still wasn’t sure if he’d ever be ready to relive that horrible experience that ripped away something from deep inside him.

Angelus stayed quiet for a few minutes and just watched Jelani. He couldn’t put his finger on it but he thought there was something else that he wasn’t telling him. His tone and words felt genuine yet he could tell there was something he was holding back but he didn’t dare to push the subject matter, not now that he was getting him to open up to him. He went from one word answers to full blown sentences and didn’t wanna scare him into shutting down again so he did what he knew best and decided to distract him.

“So, Jay, have you heard about the Jamaica Plain treasure controversy yet?”

“I’m sorry, the what?” Jelani turned and gave Angelus the most confused expression he could muster. That sentence was one of the most ridiculous ones he’d heard since he reached Boston.

“Oh, sugar, you’re gonna love this. For a very long time there was a rumor that there were riches hidden in Jamaica Plain. What was it? No one knew, some people said it was a building full of caps, some people said there was a secret hidden vault around the place. Other people said that before the war people hid powerful weapons somewhere down there and some said that there was gold. I don’t know what the blue hell gold is but it got some people’s underwear in a tussle.”

“Wait, who started that rumor?”

“Hush your pretty lips. Now, there were some people that thought it was all bullshit and said it was probably a trap to lure morons to their deaths. About three years ago when the Minutemen picked back up there was a group of settlers who came to JP and well, settled! That got everyone up in arms, you had raiders trying to find the treasure, had Gunners, Triggermen, farmers, mercs, ghouls, humans, Diamond City folks left their little safety nest for goodness’s sake! And those bitches are too scared to go anywhere! Everyone came down here to fight the settlers and claim the treasure. Sure as the sun sets there was a mini type of war with hundreds of people searching every fuckin’ building for the treasure or at the very least clues. Now, you see that building down there? The one with the blown up statue in front of it?”

“Yeah. What about it?”

“Okay, so everyone was looking everywhere except for that one. This farmer goes in and looks all over the place, another one sneaks in and people start to notice and soon everyone is running for that building and they’re trashing the place looking for the treasure. Someone finds a door to a basement and they manage to break it down and now you got hundreds of people trying to make their way in. Supposedly there were hundreds of traps everywhere and people start dyin’ or getting injured but they push on anyway ‘cause they figured that the traps mean they’re getting close. So after fighting through traps, hacking security systems, fighting off crazed robots and each other they finally make it the treasure.”

“It was real?” Jelani asked with a dubious tone and expression.

“I shit you not the treasure was a room full of some old world junk put up on display as if it was the greatest fuckin’ thing since unguarded caps. There were hair brushes, some clothing items, junk, a pretty much useless terminal and the most “useful” item there was a wooden bat. Someone even left a holotape that had an inventory of all the “treasure” and someone actually wrote a goddamn speech talkin’ ‘bout how these were special items that people back then used and shit. Well, shitfire, we still use them! Sort of!”

“I legitimately hate it here…” Jelani replied with a monotone voice and an incredulous look on his face as he blinked at Angelus as if somehow trying to make sense of the entire thing. “I’m almost afraid to ask what the fuck happened after they found that shit.”

“Nothing. Nothing happened. Everyone just quietly left the building and went wherever the fuck they came from. The wounded were tended to in the settlement and the dead were buried and everyone went home. Soon as word got out about what happened everyone denied being there, hundreds of jackasses and all of ‘em deny ever being anywhere near Jamaica Plain. Everyone that participated outright denies they were ever even here looking for that shit. Honestly? I think it’s pretty fuckin’ funny. Motherfuckers back then had a nasty sense of humor for sure.”

“What the hell is wrong with everyone here?”

“Oh!” Angelus excitedly said as he playfully hit Jelani’s arm as he remembered yet another story he picked up while in Egret. “Have you heard of the haunted quarry yet?”

“That’s it, I’m getting the fuck out of this fucking place.”

“It’s true! Or…at least they say it’s true. Pack of Minutemen had gone in to clear out the raiders that were in that quarry but supposedly the raider leading that group lost her mind and killed all the other raiders. The terminals were full of really weird entries about voices, visions, quakes and something about the light. Only one of those Minutemen came back and he ain’t been right since. He’s up in Sanctuary ‘cause he didn’t wanna live anywhere near that quarry. To this day he says there’s something ancient and super evil living down there. I forgot the name of the quarry…something sun or maybe dumb itch?”

Jelani’s eyes widened in horror as the two words sounded eerily similar to the name of a building with a less than spectacular reputation back in the Capital. He’d only heard stories and every time he asked Loke about it Loke would quickly change the subject. For a few seconds he couldn’t remember the name but repeating the two words Angelus said in his head instantly made him remember so he turned to Angelus and in an almost deadpan tone said, “You mean Dunwich?”

“That’s the fucker’s name!” Angelus said in an excited tone but then quickly turned serious. “How did you know?”

“Uh…back in the Capital there was this old building people talked about with that exact name. It was weird, every time us kids would bring it up all the grown ups would just change the subject and if we kept pushing they’d just tell us to drop it. There was this old man that lived in the area and he used to talk about it if we brought him beer. According to him, that building was sitting on some gateway or something. Apparently a lot of people that went in either died or came back wrong and there was something about some vault dweller and a book.”

“Ew, that’s…a pretty creepy coincidence.”

“I kinda wanna see this quarry.”

“Well, you’re shit out of luck, sugar. Minutemen have that thing locked down.”

“Hva i helvete? Why?”

“That was kind of a recent development and it’s up for debate as to whether it was to keep the curious out to avoid people getting hurt or lost in the quarry but a lot of us think it has something to do with the Children of Atom. Something kind of weird is happening within their ranks. A lot of ‘em have been turning up dead by their own members. A lot of them are relocating to the Glowing Sea and the few that are left have stopped being really hostile and have turned reclusive. I think they’re up to something.”

“Those quacks are always up to something. There was a lady in Bunker Hill that was keeping track of ‘em and said they’re all avoiding the coastline. Apparently there’s something in the water that they don’t like.”

“Don’t blame ‘em. Probably Ol’ Peg.”

“Oh, that is not real.”

“Lemme know when you have some free time and I’ll take you to Salem. Something…interesting…happened there four years ago.”

“A’ight, but it better be as interesting as you’re making it out to be.” Jelani teased playfully as he pointed at Angelus and smiled. He then reached over to his backpack and retrieved some binoculars as it was close to his target’s shift and he wanted to be ready.

“Promise. And if it turns out to be a dud I have a pretty good idea of how we could salvage the day.”

Confused and a little weirded out by the way he said it Jelani turned to look at Angelus who had a particularly mischievous smile on his face. It didn’t feel malicious but the implication, which Jelani picked up on, sent a cold shiver up and down his spine. He honestly didn’t know what to say so he gave him a forced smile that quickly left his lips and turned to focus on the job at hand.

On the other hand Angelus didn’t pick up on Jelani’s uneasiness and chucked his lack of a response to getting ready for the target. He moved closer to Jelani and watched him eagerly as Jelani scoped the area below them for the target. He wanted to say something but he didn’t want to distract him and cost him whatever caps were promised for the ex-Gunner. His eyes slowly darted from his face, down to his shoulders, his back, hips and down his legs.

“What?”

“Nothing!” Startled by Jelani’s question he looked up to see Jelani looking at him and somewhat frowning at him as if he’d caught him red handed in what he was doing. He thanked whatever was out there that he couldn’t hear all the shit he was thinking as he traced his body with his eyes. “See him yet?” Angelus misdirected the conversation to avoid the awkwardness from building further.

“Not yet.”

“And how do you know what he looks like? I mean, I never really thought about how mercs know what their targets look like.”

“Descriptions for the most part. Very few people have access to working cameras and they give the target’s picture if they’re able to get a shot of them. Even dealt with one very pissed off caravan guard who had a recorder and showed me video of the target. Some old world stuff still works if you manage to fix it. Sure, the quality isn’t what it used to be but it gets the job done.”

“Yeah, old merc I used to live with had a wrist watch that, according to him, his great grandfather found after he traveled east. Managed to fix it and passed it down. Of course, knowing him he stole it and fabricated the story to go along with the watch. Guy was a bit of a compulsive liar, it was hard to get the truth out of him if you didn’t know him. I still have the darn thing but it doesn’t work anymore, somebody told me the gears got stuck or something like that.”

“I actually know of someone that can help with that. Some old caravan merchant I worked for for a few weeks has a contact that can fix literally anything. Pretty sure he can tackle a simple watch.” Jelani said as he lowered the binoculars and looked at Angelus who was smiling at him.

“Really? That’d be great! Can’t tell time for shit but it’d be nice to have the thing working again.”

“It ain’t hard, I can show you.” Jelani stopped mid sentence as he slightly jerked his head back. He seemed pretty upfront about making plans with this raider he barely knew, he couldn’t take back what was already said so he decided to reel it back a bit. “If you want.”

“Sure.” Angelus replied as his eyes softened as he looked back at him.

Both of them stared at each other for a few seconds. Angelus was slowly inching closer and closer and as soon as Jelani noticed he loudly cleared his throat and said, “Guy should be out on patrol soon.” He looked into the binoculars once more and began to search the area for his target.

Angelus kept staring at him and smiling as he said, “Is it 2:00 already?”

“Yeap,” While still looking through the binoculars Jelani pointed forward as the target left one of the buildings close to the old church, “and there he is.”

Jelani handed the binoculars to Angelus and directed him to where the target was. As Angelus watched him make his way to his designated area Jelani looked at Angelus. At first he was listening to what he was saying but the more he looked at him the more his voice faded away as he looked at him. His eyes traced over his sharp jawline, then his neck and throat, his arms, his chest and stomach until his eyes settled on his thighs. A thought crossed his mind, one he didn’t think he would have ever again but as his eyes trailed up his thighs towards his crotch Jelani shook his head and turned to look at the target. Panic was starting to rise within him so he focused on the task at hand as to avoid yet another panic attack.

“You okay?” Angelus asked as soon as he looked at Jelani.

“Ja, I’m fine.”

“So what now?”

Jelani didn’t answer. He grabbed his sniper rifle and while still keeping an eye on the target he laid down on his stomach while aiming the silenced rifle towards the target. Once he was comfortable he inhaled, held the air in his lungs for a few seconds and then exhaled. This was something he always did right before taking a shot but now he was doing it to calm himself as well. There were a lot of caps riding on this job and he didn’t want to screw it up over a panic attack from staring at the man sitting next to him. He continued to breathe in the same manner as he looked through the scope, one of his fingers was carefully coiled around the trigger while he adjusted the scope with his other hand.

Angelus watched in awe at the intricate and almost ritualistic manner in which Jelani prepared himself. He wasn’t exactly good with guns, all he knew was to aim and pull the trigger in the hopes that the bullet would hit whatever he wanted dead or injured. For most of his life he was the type to rush down his victims and beat them to death with a crowbar, any blunt object he could get his hands on or a gun that was out of ammo. His strengths mostly lied in hand to hand combat which he was pretty good at. He knew his strengths and weaknesses and used that knowledge to his advantage. However, he had a huge admiration for people who could handle rifles and bigger weapons especially sniper rifles. He watched carefully as Jelani made very subtle adjustments in his position as the target moved. He kept looking at him and couldn’t help but smile as he looked at Jelani lying on the ground flat on his stomach with his legs spread open. The temptation to reach out was getting to him so he turned to look at the target through the binoculars Jelani had handed him while occasionally looking at Jelani with the corner of his eye.

Jelani had managed to calm himself down and was tracing the target’s movement. He lazily walked from what he assumed was his home towards the diner from the backroad of the huge settlement. Once Jelani adjusted to his speed he managed to keep his crosshairs on the target’s temple. The backroad was empty now that the guard patrolling the area had turned to patrol the adjacent road. Now was the right time to take his shot as it would take a few minutes for people to notice the body giving him and Angelus plenty of time to get a head start to leave the area. The target was now about thirty feet from reaching the diner road where plenty of people were. He’d been able to keep up with the target’s speed and height, as he did he calculated the speed of the wind and the humidity in the air to come up with the best time and angle to fire so the bullet could hit the target.

Jelani inhaled as he moved the crosshairs a few inches in front of his target’s head, at the same time he tightened his grip on the trigger. He exhaled as he blinked once and as soon as the last bit of oxygen left his lungs he pulled the trigger, the recoil from the anti-material sniper rifle made his entire body shake. But as soon as Jelani regained control he looked through the scope to confirm the kill. The ex-Gunner’s lifeless body hit the ground as half of his face was gone and turned to a bloody sludge on the asphalt.

“Goddamn, Haakonson!” Angelus cried out in awe as he kept staring at the body and the blown out head on the ex-Gunner.

“Keep quiet and move!” Jelani said as he folded the bipod on the rifle and flung the carry sling over himself so that the sniper could be carried easily and his hands were free. He grabbed his backpack and took out the silenced .22 and as soon as he had it he put the backpack on his back and nodded to Dagny who quickly got on her feet and stuck close to him.

Angelus quickly put the binoculars in Jelani’s backpack and ran next to him. He wasn’t sure why they had to run but he obeyed. Both of them made their way down the broken highway and as soon as they reached the ground they ran as fast as they could.

The day before Jelani had scouted the area for the best exit route. He’d come up with three different escape routes that depended on different outcomes. He didn't have time to think of the others, since they hadn't been caught and it seemed like the body hadn't been found yet he focused on the one route he had for his current situation. Jamaica Plain was a massive settlement and escaping the reach of the settlers would prove a challenge if anything went wrong. Worst part was that University Point was a few yards away, it was a sort of sister settlement founded after Jamaica Plain faced an overpopulation problem before it expanded.

Jelani ran north, as he had planned, making sure to steer clear of University Point and sticking to staying under the highway that was between both settlements. The three of them ran as fast and as quietly as possible but as they neared University Point they were startled when the unmistakable sound of an alarm siren went off. Jelani stopped in the middle of some shrubs and got low to the ground. Out of instinct he grabbed Angelus' hand and pulled him down as he watched the guards at University Point scramble to look in the direction of Jamaica Plain. They still hadn't been spotted but Jelani was watchful in case the guards noticed them.

“They found a body with his head blown off in Jamaica!” One of the guards yelled at another guard.

From the front gate of University Point a group of armed and armored guards ran as fast as they could towards the settlement. The boys saw they were running in their direction and out of panic Angelus motioned to move but Jelani squeezed his hand. Angelus looked at him with panic in his eyes but the young mercenary quietly shook his head. Angelus looked up and saw the guards running past them, they never even noticed them hiding in the shrubs. When he could no longer hear the guards' footsteps Jelani stood back up, still holding Angelus’ hand, and ran west occasionally looking back in case they were spotted but they managed to make a clean getaway.

They stuck to the south of the nearby Boston Military Checkpoint and avoided Big John’s Salvage as it had been overrun by raiders after the pack of Super Mutants that had taken it over were killed off. Jelani wanted to move as fast as he could, the checkpoint was usually full of Minutemen and while they were constantly at war with the Minutemen he wanted to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. The area south of Boston was always dangerous but it was even more dangerous now than it was four years ago thanks to raiders and Gunners expanding their reach. Jelani, Angelus and Dagny carefully made their way towards Shaw High School though Angelus was nervous. Everyone knew the Gunners had expanded their territory beyond the Gunner Plaza. It took them well over half a year but the Gunners took over Fallon’s Department Store, West Roxbury Station, and the Milton General Hospital for themselves as their numbers increased over the last two years with raiders and ex-Brotherhood of Steel soldiers joining their ranks once the Brotherhood was defeated. The old high school had been turned into a warehouse of sorts after it was taken back from the Super Mutants who’d set up a trap to lure in unsuspecting victims with a recorded message. Angelus was nervous about the direction they were headed to but he didn’t question it, he just followed Jelani and Dagny.

Once the high school was in sight Jelani deviated to the broken down building across from the school. It barely had any real cover and felt exposed but Jelani walked to the back of the building and sat down on a chair looking across the way towards the entrance to the high school and lit a cigarette.

“C’mon. We might be here for a while.” Jelani said as he nodded to the chair next to him.

Angelus walked over to the chair next to him and sat down. Jelani offered a cigarette which Angelus was more than happy to take and stared at the scenery before them. He was still nervous about the area they were in but seeing Jelani so relaxed and calm was indication enough that nothing would happen. Even if something did happen he just witnessed him make one of the cleanest kills and smoothest escapes he had ever seen in his life. He was already impressed with him but the way he calmly handled the situation made a huge impression on Angelus and given the life he’s lived so far he’s not that easy to impress.

“What are we waiting for this time?” Angelus asked.

“Gunner that hired me said that as soon as the job was done to wait for him here. Said I didn’t need to bring back evidence; he’d know when the target would be taken care of. Not really sure how but hey, easier for me. Guy’s supposed to be in the school today and as soon as he finds out he’ll come over with the caps.”

“Thought Gunners didn’t hire outsiders to handle their own shit.”

“Well, usually they don’t from what I’ve seen. Guy wasted no time in threatening me if I said anything. He didn’t want his superiors to catch wind of a recruit he recommended turning into a Minuteman so he got in contact with a contact of mine.”

“I gotta admit, that shit was impressive. I mean, the way you handled yourself? I woulda been shot dead had you not squeezed my hand. The way you handle your sniper is crazy. I can barely hold a gun right and you’re out here blowing skulls in half. How long have you been at that?”

“Oh…like…eleven years now. My dad let me handle the damn thing since I was seven-years-old. I used to joke that I wasn’t raised, I was trained.”

“Hey, better than most of us. Your dad tried to prepare you for everything out here. You’re out here earning caps on your own, killing people from a mile away and making some of the smoothest and cleanest escapes I’ve ever seen. You know what my dumb ass was doing at eighteen? I was in the back of bars blowing guys’ backs out and getting drunk as shit and probably high as shit too.”

“I guess.” Jelani chuckled, however his smile faded as soon as he saw the front door to the school open and from the building emerged a rather rogued and miserable looking man dressed in Gunner attire. He looked around before making his way to the broken down building where Jelani and Angelus were waiting.

As soon as the man approached them his expression turned even more sour than it already was as he stared at Angelus and then at Jelani. Dagny quickly stood up, she quickly made her way towards Jelani and stood in front of him and as soon as the man saw her he took a step back though his expression remained the same.

“I thought you worked alone, Haakonson.”

“I do. He’s one of my contacts; told him to meet me here.”

“Fine. Here’s the caps.” The man reached into his jacket and pulled out a cigarette cartoon, the unmistakable sound of caps crashing together jingled within it. “There’s a little gratitude bump in there too for being discreet about it.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh, and an acquaintance of mine might reach out to your contact in two to three weeks depending on some circumstances. We’ve kind of got some Minutemen problems at the moment, I suggest you steer clear of the area around Corvega. Might get a little intense.”

“Will do.” Jelani replied and made a mental note of the information to pass along to Varg as soon as he was able to contact him.

The Gunner turned around and walked back to the high school where he was stationed for the day and as soon as the doors closed behind him Jelani turned to Angelus and the three of them carefully made their way out of the area.

As they walked on Jelani noticed it was getting late and Angelus was still with him. Normally he wouldn’t care what time it was, he never brought anyone back home with him, the only person to know where he was currently living was Varg because the bunker was originally found by him and since he had no need of it he handed the keys to Jelani. However, Jelani admitted he had a pleasant time with the raider and part of him felt bad about leaving him out to dry at sun down. If the wasteland was dangerous during the day, it was worse at night and he didn’t want Angelus to find himself in the middle of a dangerous situation by himself. As nervous as it made him, Jelani offered for Angelus to stay the night as he wasn’t sure how far off he was from the area they were in. He could’ve offered to go with him but he learned years ago that traveling lonely roads at night by yourself was a bad idea and more often than not a fatal one.

As they approached the bunker, which was at the base of a relay tower Dagny barked excitedly and ran ahead of them. Angelus watched as the little night stalker sniffed around the area and after circling the outside and the main door she sat down by the door and looked in their direction as she wagged her tail.

“Checking for intruders.”

“What?” Angelus replied in a confused tone as he then looked at Jelani who was smiling at him. He’d noticed he was staring at Dagny as she checked the perimeter and answered his question before he asked it.

“She’s checking the area in case there’s any intruders around.” Jelani realized how it made him sound paranoid so he turned to look ahead of him. Before there was a chance for Angelus to ask a follow up question he shrugged and said, “Eh, just in case.”

Angelus didn’t think anything of it, in fact, he thought it was down right brilliant. Big John’s Salvage was teeming with rowdy raiders from the southern parts outside of Boston, to the south were the Gunners that had expanded their territories, Fairline Hill Estates was taken over by some rather disturbed Children of Atom, Jelani was surrounded by all sorts of nasty groups and the least he could do to keep himself safe was use his dog to scope the area and not get a surprise ambush. However, the truth was a little less ideal. Ever since the assault Jelani was paranoid that any of his attackers would’ve found him and snuck into the bunker or someone else with the same type of intention was waiting around the corner to jump him so to keep him from becoming too paranoid he taught Dagny to check the bunker for unfamiliar scents that lingered. So far, the bunker has never been broken into. Angelus was gonna ask a question but when he turned to look at Jelani he saw he had a bit of a solemn look on his face so he dropped it, he was still curious but he figured he could ask it later when Jelani seemed a little more at ease.

They made it to the bunker and once inside Angelus looked around to see a security gate with a heavy security door in the corner of the ten by fifteen bunker. Inside the security gate was a lone console. On the other corner was an elevator though he noticed the panel was ripped out and he wondered how it was supposed to work without it. His question was answered when Jelani reached into his jacket and took out an old rusty key and opened the door. He quickly got on the console and after a few seconds Angelus was startled by the sound of the elevator door creaking open.

“Go on, I’ll be there in a second. Just gotta lock up.” Jelani said as he fiddled with the console.

Angelus walked over to the elevator and waited inside, behind him was Dagny who sat at his feet and looked up at him as her tail wagged. Angelus smiled wide as the strange little dog looked at him. He always loved dogs and to see one, or one that looked like one, acting so friendly towards was pleasant. When he heard Jelani locking up the gate he looked up and saw a large panel on the inside wall of the elevator, there were over a dozen buttons and he wondered how many floors the bunker had beneath it. After Jelani locked up the security gate and the main door he made his way into the elevator where Angelus watched him press four different buttons, the last one he pressed twice in quick succession. After that the elevator began to descend.

After a few minutes the doors opened to reveal a short stretch of concrete and pipes lit up by red light bulbs along the roof of the hallway. At the end was a heavy metallic door. Jelani and Dagny left the elevator and walked down the intimidating looking hallway and Angelus followed close by. Less than a minute later they got to the door and next to it was a keycard reader which Jelani used to slide a keycard he had in his jacket and as soon as a small light lit up in a brilliant green color the heavy metallic door opened. 

Angelus watched Jelani turn right as soon as he walked past the door. He set his backpack down in front of a shelf that was full to capacity in old but readable books, the top of the shelf had five small pots with plants growing out of them. Once he set down his backpack Jelani kept walking towards a door past the shelf, it was small enough for Angelus to assume it was some sort of closet or storage area and seeing as how he walked in there with his sniper rifle and handgun but came back out without them he figured he was right. In front of the shelf was a black sofa, on the floor in front of it was a square black rug and pushed up against the wall next to the sofa was a small black couch. Next to the shelf was a small mattress, it was small enough to have once belonged to a baby or a toddler. On the mattress was a familiar toy, it was the blue teddy bear that one of his friends had given Dagny the day Angelus ran into Jelani for the first time. He couldn’t help but smile as he remembered that day. The way Jelani hugged Dagny when Angelus gave her back to him safe and sound was the most endearing thing he’d ever seen. Jelani was bleeding from the back of his head and all he did was worry about his dog who was soaking wet but otherwise unscathed. Angelus continued to look around. Next to the small couch was a door and further down was a very short hall and at the end of it was a drawer. He then turned to his left and saw a small but fully furnished and functioning kitchen. On one wall were several cabinets and at the base of those cabinets were two very clean bowls, one full of water and the other was currently empty. Dagny was currently drinking some water out of her bowl. In front of the bowls was a small table with two chairs facing each other and next to the table was a wall with a door. Given its position he guessed it could’ve been a pantry.

He then looked forward and saw a longer hallway, though not as long as the one they crossed to get to the actual bunker itself, on the walls in front of each other were two doors and at the end of the hall was a shelf full of trinkets and items. curiosity to get a closer look at the items was overwhelming but he’d do so later. Overall the bunker was small but cozy. The thing that stuck out to him the most was how clean and sterile everything looked. The kitchen was spotless and nothing was out of place, the cabinets, sink, fridge, counter and stove were clean. The kitchen table was clean and the chairs were actually perpendicular to each other and he’d dare even say they were perfectly aligned. The sofa and the small couch, the rug and even the small mattress, which he figured was Dagny’s bed, were so clean they looked brand new. He couldn’t see a single spot on them and whatever wear and tear they had were meticulously taken care of. Just like the kitchen table and the chairs these items were also perfectly aligned and he took notice of all the doors being closed. Not only was the bunker squeaky clean but everything was neatly put away and in its place. The place looked cleaner and better organized than that one working vault near Diamond City.

“How did you find this place?” Angelus asked as he continued to look around.

“Varg. Said he bumped into this place some twenty odd years after the bombs fell. Cleared it and has maintained it ever since. Let me stay here for as long as I want.”

“I take it Varg’s a ghoul?”

“Yeah, he is. He’s one of the pack of ghouls that lives in that massive ship to the south of Boston near Poseidon Energy.”

“I’ve heard of it but I haven’t seen it.” Angelus said as he moved over to the shelf full of books. He couldn’t read but books still fascinated him nonetheless. He looked at the letters along the spines of the books and wondered what they said, wondered what the books were about, and wondered if they were fun. Judging by the full shelf Jelani seemed to enjoy them. An idea crept into his head as he reached out and touched them along the spine and hoped he was correct in his assumption, otherwise his idea would be in vain and admittedly a little embarrassing.

“You read?” Jelani asked as he made his way into the kitchen.

“No. I actually can’t read.” Angelus responded truthfully and for the first time in his life he felt shame over the fact that he couldn’t read. It was funny, he never gave it a second thought but standing in front of that shelf and looking at the books and then looking back at Jelani a few things about him made sense. He wasn’t just smart he was what he and other raiders called “smart smart”, usually book smart people were easily taken advantage of or barely lasted out in the wastes by themselves but Jelani was proof that it wasn’t always the case. He was smart, highly trained, capable of surviving even on his own, obviously more than prepared for most anything that could come his way and as Angelus turned to look at him he admitted he was easy to look at too, certainly soft on the eyes, especially his face. He could easily sit around all day tracing his facial features with his eyes and not get bored.

“From the look of this shelf I’m guessing you do?”

“Oh, ja, that's pretty much all I do in my spare time. Every time I find a new one I haven’t read I take it or buy it or trade for it. Merchant I worked for some time ago stops every so often when she gets books in her inventory and I add ‘em to the list. If I know I’ll be gone for a while I leave a few caps hidden at the entrance and she leaves the books.” Jelani smiled at the end as he remembered his last interaction with the old merchant. She was a very sweet old thing that he grew fond of. She had a habit of finding and hoarding books just for him and thanks to her his collection grew more and more over time and he was thankful for it. On really bad days he often looked for any excuse not to lock himself in his room and put the barrel of a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger and as trivial as it may seem to others he sometimes told himself that if he went through with it he would be abandoning Dagny, wouldn’t see the old merchant again, and would not feel the thrill and joy of sitting on the sofa late at night as Dagny sat on his lap and he enjoyed a book he hadn’t read before.

“Speaking of which, that’s your half.” He said as he walked towards the table, he reached out and grabbed a small bag and tossed it to Angelus who caught it and looked at it in confusion. He then looked at the table and saw the cigarette carton that the Gunner had hidden the caps in.

“Half? But…why? I didn’t do anything.”

“Kept me company.” Jelani shrugged.

“That is nothing compared to what you did. You did all the work.”

“Hey, if those guards would’ve found us I wouldn’t have made it out by myself.”

“I highly doubt that, sweet pea. You look more than capable of handling some lowly Minutemen knockoffs.”

“Kan være…but either way, you were there with me and you didn’t have to.”

“Didn’t have to but, thanks, sweet pea.” Angelus said as he put the small bag of caps in his back pocket. He then walked up to the table as Jelani opened the door in the kitchen and turned on a light. Angelus could see several boxes, bottles and cans. His initial guess was correct, it was the pantry. He saw him come back out with several items, among them was a can of dog food and as soon as Dagny saw it she rushed over to sit by her bowls and patiently waited for her food.

Jelani laughed as he saw her and after setting down the items he grabbed a knife and opened the can of dog food and carefully poured the contents into the bowl. Once he stood back up he nodded towards the food and Dagny began to eat her meal. He chuckled once again and under his breath he muttered, “Flink pike.”

He then turned to Angelus and asked, “You hungry?”

“Enough to steal Dagny’s food.”

“A’ight, give me a few minutes. You okay with brahmin?”

“Absolutely! As bloody as you can, sweet pea.”

“Hyggelig!” Jelani exclaimed as he laughed.

Preparing dinner took about thirty minutes and as soon as it was done both boys sat down to eat. Angelus mostly poked at the vegetables while Jelani insisted it was a good idea to eat them and not feed them to Dagny. Aside from frowning at the vegetables and biting into them while making faces, Angelus kept regaling him with more stories about the Commonwealth. Some were as ridiculous as the Jamaica Plain one, others were more serious and others seemed more like exaggerated rumors that were made up. Every time Jelani laughed and smiled Angelus could feel little flutters in his chest and his cheeks lit up as he looked at him. There was something in the way he laughed that made Angelus feel like he did when he was a kid holding hands with a boy he liked, there was no denying it any more, he was falling for him and hard. The more he heard him talk the more he wanted to reach across the table and kiss him as deeply as he could though he restrained himself somehow. After they finished their meal Angelus volunteered to clean up while Jelani took a shower. The temptation to follow him into the bathroom almost felt like some type of test but once again he restrained himself. When Jelani was done he sat on the sofa and played a little with Dagny while Angelus took a shower. He really appreciated the fact that the bunker had a comfortable setup along with working pipes and plumbing, it was hard to find something like it in Nuka World. He may be a raider but he was very partial to being as clean as possible especially that night.

Once Angelus was done he sat on the sofa next to Dagny who was asleep next to Jelani with her head on his lap as Jelani absentmindedly caressed the back of her neck with his thumb. As much as he enjoyed playing with the small night stalker she was currently in his way. Regardless he sat down on the sofa and gently scratched her back. He looked down at Dagny and couldn’t help but smile. She was sweet, highly intelligent, loving and best of all there was nothing else like her in all of Boston.

“You really like dogs, don’t you?” Jelani broke the silence as he looked at Angelus and smiled.

“Yeah.” Angelus replied and as he did he looked up at Jelani and followed that up with, “Among other things.”

Angelus kept staring at Jelani. It hadn’t been till now that Jelani noticed his eyes were a shade of light gray, he hadn’t noticed before or at least looked at his face long enough to register his eye color. He was starting to feel some pressure build up the more Angelus kept looking at him and lightly smiling so in order to break it he said, “Huh, hadn’t noticed you have gray eyes.”

“Yeah, yours are pretty though.” Angelus said as he placed his right arm on the backrest of the sofa and leaned his head on his shoulder as he continued to look at him.

“Oh, please. It’s the second most common color.”

“Really?”

“Ja, blue’s the second most common eye color. Not sure why people make such a fuss about it, it’s just a lack of melanin in the iris. Yours though, that’s really rare.”

“What does melanin mean? And how do you know all this?”

“It’s what determines hair, eye, and skin color on people and animals. When my dad and I left DC we spent a week waiting out a storm in a university and I practically lived in the library for that whole week. Went through a lot of books which were mostly from the science department. After the storm let up I took as many as I could and over time traded them for ones I hadn’t read yet.”

“Fair but yours has my favorite color so I’m a little attached. That and they’re just really pale, they look a little weird.” Angelus moved closer to Jelani to get a better look at his eyes. He was being genuine, blue was his favorite color and the first thing that stuck out to him as soon as he saw him were his eyes.

“Weird?” Jelani questioned. He noticed Angelus was getting closer and part of him was nervous about someone else being that close to him. He figured he wanted to get a closer look at his eyes and even if that was all that he intended he still felt a little uncomfortable, he moved a little back and as soon as he moved Dagny got up from the sofa and made her way to her bed. Jelani didn’t fault her, she had a long day and was probably exhausted but she’d been acting as a sort of wall between him and Angelus and now that she moved he felt exposed.

“I didn’t mean that in a bad way. You know…I never thanked you for helping me out with those farmers.”

“Oh, you’re welcome.” Jelani said as he smiled as he looked at Dagny who was asleep on her bed.

Without warning or hesitation from the raider’s part Angelus jumped at the opportunity and grabbed Jelani by the chin, turned him towards him and kissed him. Jelani froze in place as what was happening was slowly registering in his head and as soon as he felt Angelus’ hand move up to his cheek he began to tremble. He shut his eyes out of nervousness as he felt Angelus’ thumb gently caressing his cheek and felt as he pulled him closer to him, as he did Jelani stiffened his body which only made Angelus move closer to him while he continued to kiss him. He could feel himself tremble a lot more to the point where his hands, that were pressed against the sides of his body, were starting to shake. He felt his heart beating faster and more intensely and his joints locking up making his body very stiff, he could hear his breathing intensify and it all accumulated in a single loud gasp as soon as he felt Angelus’ tongue slowly rub against his.

“You okay?” Angelus asked as he backed up a little and looked at Jelani who partially opened his eyes to see what he was doing.

No, he wasn’t okay. He was everything but okay, he really did not want to be doing what he was currently doing or better said what he thought he was being forced to do but he was afraid to tell him to stop. Jelani lowered his gaze out of fear and nodded as he said in a low whisper, “You just caught me off guard.”

“You sure?”

Instead of asking him to stop or arguing against it Jelani leaned forward and returned the kiss. He told himself that if he was the one to continue he’d be the one choosing to go through with it and it wouldn’t be the same as the night of the assault because in his head it made more sense to willingly go through with it even if he didn’t want to. It was irrational and illogical but somehow it made sense to him.

They kissed for a while and even though Jelani was starting to relax a little he was still stiff, nervous and forcing himself not to cry. Angelus completely misread Jelani’s reactions to being nervous due to lack of experience and he wasn’t wrong about that but his reaction was also due to something else he couldn’t possibly imagine. As they continued to kiss Angelus carefully pulled Jelani closer to him and then slowly and gently pushed him down so that he was laying on his back on the sofa and he was hovering over him. He placed one hand on his neck gently caressing him and used the other to slightly lift up Jelani’s shirt. He fumbled a little but eventually he found his belt and undid it, he then moved his other hand to undo his pants all the while still kissing him though much more intensely than before.

Jelani was starting to notice what was happening and he let out a barely audible whimper as he kissed him back using more tongue than he was before. He was starting to get nervous again but he was still too afraid to speak up so he countered it by trying to convince himself that this time he wanted this to happen. As soon as he felt Angelus pull his pants down his entire body went stiff and his eyes went wide, feelings and memories, sounds and sensations from that night flooded his mind all the while he was trying his hardest to contain his emotions though they were teetering on the border. As Angelus pulled on his pants he kissed him along the jaw, his neck and went further down, Jelani remained frozen in place until he felt his breath between his legs and his fear intensified. Angelus gently grabbed him with one hand and dragged his tongue along the shaft which caused Jelani to sit up.

“No, wait! Wait! Angelus, wait!” Jelani cried out as he looked at Angelus who propelled himself up to look back at him.

“You okay?” He asked as he looked at him. He seemed breathless and wired like he was afraid instead of aroused.

“Wait…uh…just do whatever you want but not that. Please?” Jelani pleaded as he looked intently at him, hoping and practically praying to no one that Angelus would at least avoid that particular activity. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep himself intact if he did what he was about to do and the last thing he wanted was to have a meltdown in front of him since he didn’t know if he would stop if he asked him to. Being assaulted again was one thing but being forced to beg and be ignored would’ve sent him somewhere he wasn’t sure he’d ever come back from.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard a guy say no to that…are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Yeah, I just–I’ve never…” Jelani lowered his gaze. Part of him felt like he was lying, that he could no longer make that claim, not after what was done to him.

“Never?” Angelus picked up on what Jelani was trying to say, his behavior aligned with what he had just said and he felt a bit awkward for moving as fast as he did. Angelus lifted Jelani’s face with his hand and as their eyes met he gave him a warm smile and said, “It’s okay if you’re not ready, sweet pea.”

He wasn't sure if he was or if he wasn't but the fact that Angelus backed off without Jelani really asking him to stop made him feel strange, it was hard to describe, he felt alleviated, nervous, confident and somewhat aroused all at once. He’d be lying if he said he wasn't interested in him but all the noise in his head took even the most innocent of thoughts and twisted them making them all about that night. Quite frankly he was tired of it. Despite the fact that he hadn’t planned on having any other company aside from Dagny that day he actually enjoyed having Angelus with him. He enjoyed the conversations they had before he took out that ex-Gunner turned Minuteman. He enjoyed the walk from the high school to the bunker and he certainly enjoyed having him around the bunker. Before he kissed him Jelani hadn't felt like he was in any danger and even after he kissed him he didn't really feel like he was in danger, it felt like his traumas were bleeding all over him yet again and ruined what would have otherwise been a pleasant experience, one that made him nervous, but pleasant nonetheless.

Jelani made up his mind and acted on his impulse before his head could catch up and ruin the moment again. With both hands he reached out, grabbed Angelus by the shirt and pulled him into a kiss, a bit clumsily at first as he was internally trembling yet again. He was still nervous so he was a bit stiff but he was far more enthusiastic now than he was before. Once he felt more comfortable he himself laid down on his back all the while still grabbing onto Angelus’ shirt which prompted the raider to lie on top of him. They continued to kiss as both pressed their bodies together; Jelani then wrapped both arms around Angelus’ neck.

“Are you sure you're okay with this? You really don't have to if you're not ready, sweet pea.” Angelus asked between kisses.

As a response Jelani finished pulling off his pants and pushed them off the sofa all while still keeping his arms wrapped around Angelus' neck and kissing him. Angelus placed a hand on Jelani’s thigh and used the other to remove his shirt but as soon as Jelani noticed he pulled down on the shirt.

“Don't.” He said between kisses.

“Okay.” Angelus replied as he let go of Jelani’s shirt. He lifted that same hand up to his mouth and inserted both his index and middle finger in his mouth. After a few seconds he began to kiss him again, deeper and a little more intensely this time. He moved his hand down and with the other spread Jelani's legs open a bit more. As he continued to kiss him he couldn't help but smile a little when he heard Jelani moan as he teased him with his fingers. He slowly circled his hole while occasionally pushing in the tip of one of his fingers but pulling the tip back out. The teasing only caused Jelani to moan louder in his mouth and when Angelus figured he had enough he carefully shoved his middle finger inside him. Angelus was slow and steady at first but he sped up when Jelani began to kiss him in an almost desperate manner. After a while Angelus pulled out and as he positioned himself better he kept both his middle finger, ring finger and index finger together and pushed all three inside Jelani who gasped which caused Angelus to go a little faster. He kept increasing speed and going deeper the more he became aroused due to Jelani's reactions.

Angelus kept going and eventually moved his head down and licked along Jelani's neck and given how much more and louder Jelani was moaning when he kissed along his neck he zeroed in on his neck while he went harder and deeper inside him. At some point Angelus moved his free hand and grabbed Jelani by the hip to pin him down to go faster and as deep as he could.

Jelani opened his eyes wide as he felt a hand on his hip and suddenly he was flooded by memories of that night. He began to hyperventilate as he felt like his entire right side was on fire, he began to tremble as he remembered details both small and big of that night. He swore he could hear their voices, their grunting, the noises they made when each had their turn with him. He could swear he could suddenly smell whiskey and he couldn't help but start crying. He wanted to scream but found he was breathless and all he could do was gasp as he kept being bombarded by those awful memories that seemed to still haunt him.

“Please…” He managed to whisper and when he noticed Angelus didn't stop he couldn't help but cry a little more.

“What, hon? Harder?” Angelus confused his pleading for him to go harder, so he did, not knowing that wasn't why Jelani said what he said.

“Stop! Please stop! Please!” Jelani managed to cry out almost hysterically.

Angelus immediately stopped and looked up to see Jelani crying with a look of sheer terror on his face. Confused but above all concerned he very carefully pulled out and said, “I didn't hurt you, did I? Are you okay, sweetheart?”

Jelani didn't answer. He remained frozen underneath Angelus while hyperventilating and looking directly at him. As soon as Angelus realized that something was wrong he backed away while keeping his eye on him and staying as still as possible, mostly as a reaction to his own confusion. He didn’t know if he had hurt him or did something that he wasn’t ready for though he was taken aback by his reaction. He looked him over and saw Jelani was frozen on the spot. He’d shuffled away from Angelus and was staring at him with his eyes wide open and was hyperventilating while staying as still as possible, he then noticed he was grasping the sofa hard.

“Sweet pea? Are you okay?”

After a few minutes of watching Jelani remain frozen in place Angelus got up and went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of clean water. He washed his hands in the sink and rushed back with the water and sat down as he reached his hand out and gently placed it on Jelani’s cheek. As soon as Jelani felt his hand he let out a loud yelp and backed away from his hand, Angelus frowned but he quickly realized that it was most likely a bad idea to touch him at the moment. His concern for him grew due to his reaction.

“It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you.” Angelus whispered as he looked at him and brought the bottle of water closer to him. He wasn’t entirely sure if water would help him, it was a knee jerk reaction. He’d seen so many people get water to people that were hurt or scared so many times he unconsciously incorporated it into his response to injury or fear. “Relax, sweet pea, it’s okay. It’s okay, you’re okay. Nothing bad’s gonna happen. Have some water, it’ll help.”

Angelus grew worried when Jelani didn’t react to anything he was doing or saying and he wondered what he’d said or done to cause this. He felt he may have pushed him too far, maybe he wasn’t as ready as he thought he was even though he insisted and the thought of being responsible for Jelani's current state made him sick to his stomach with guilt but he wanted to focus on making him feel better.

“Please, baby, talk to me. What’s going on?” Angelus insisted, his tone was growing desperate enough for him to have noticed himself. “I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong.”

Jelani made a sound as if he was trying to form a word though it got caught in his throat, he began to gasp as if somehow struggling to calm himself, breathe and talk at the same time all while scared out of his mind. Angelus stopped for a moment to look over Jelani and realized that he was panicking, he’d seen that before, it was a long time ago but he remembered seeing it. The water could help but he looked around for a blanket or a big jacket or a coat, anything that he could wrap him with. The bunker was spacious but it wasn’t large either, he could see the kitchen, the closet that he saw was full of weapons, ammo and other items that weren’t related to what he was looking for. He knew where the bathroom was so he walked over to it after he told Jelani that he was going to find a blanket. He wanted to communicate with him as clearly as possible to prevent further panicking and to establish some form of understanding so that he could focus on something instead of panicking. He went to the bathroom but didn’t find what he was looking for. Once he was back in the hall he noticed a door on the opposite wall and figured he could check it out. He opened the door and walked in, the room was dark so he felt around the wall for the switch and as soon as he found it he flipped it.

It was the bedroom and just like the rest of the bunker everything was clean, perfectly aligned and perfectly set up. The bed was made up so well that he couldn’t find a single wrinkle. At the sight of it Angelus scoffed and laughed.

“Army brat…” He chuckled as he went over to the bed and grabbed the blanket. It was almost a shame to ruin the bed but there were more pressing matters at hand than to lament a perfectly made up bed. He rolled up the blanket and tucked it under his arm to free up his hands. He figured he’d bring over some pillows as well so he could get him as comfortable as possible. There were several pillows so he grabbed as many as he could carry. When he lifted one of them he dropped everything he was carrying when he was startled by the sight of blood underneath one of the pillows and a switchblade neatly tucked underneath it. The blood on the knife and the pillow as well as on the bed was dry though it didn’t look like it had been there for too long as it still had that bright red hue to it. He looked at the pillow and was worried as it was a lot of blood, he couldn’t possibly imagine what could’ve happened nor did he want to sit there and ponder about it as he needed to get the blanket and pillows back to Jelani though he made a mental note about it to ask him later. He put the bloody pillow back exactly how he found it and put two of them back alongside it almost as if trying to feign that he hadn’t looked through the bed long enough to have found the blood and the knife to spare Jelani knowing he found it.

Angelus rushed back to the sofa and found Jelani hadn’t moved at all, he was upset but he focused on the task at hand.

“Okay, sweetheart. Let’s just try to get you warm and comfy.” Angelus wrapped the blanket around Jelani, after that he placed a pillow between his head and the backrest of the sofa and tucked another behind his back.

“Can you hear me?”

Jelani didn’t answer but he looked directly at Angelus and even though it wasn’t an answer Angelus smiled as at least he wasn’t looking through him which meant he was responsive.

“Do you wanna stay here?”

This time Jelani nodded and it seemed like he stopped crying though he was still breathing heavily and Angelus wanted to focus on that. “Okay, sweet pea. Do you want some water?” Jelani nodded again and Angelus opened the bottle and handed it to him and watched as he took little sips from it and smiled as he watched him.

After a few minutes Jelani set the bottle down and sighed as he looked down to look at it, his breathing was almost back to normal. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

“Nei, you didn’t. I wanted to but…” Jelani began to cry again.

Angelus got up and carefully pushed him forward so that he could sit behind him and hug him from behind. To his surprise Jelani grabbed on to him and just cried. Angelus rested his head on his and kept reassuring him that he was safe and that it was all right all while still wondering what happened to him to have made him have a panic attack but more importantly what could have triggered it so that he could avoid it in the future. He replayed what they did in his head and nothing stuck out to him. After some time passed Angelus heard a very faint and subtle hum coming from Jelani and as he looked down he noticed he’d fallen asleep in his arms and a very big and admittedly goofy smile formed on his face as he whispered to himself, “Oh, no…he’s adorable.”

It was around noon that Jelani was woken up by Dagny when she climbed up on the sofa and yipped at him to get his attention and when that didn’t work she began to lick his face until she woke him up. Seeing her snout so close to his face startled him a little but as soon as he sat up and got his bearings he got up and looked through his backpack for a watch he always carried and saw the time. He slept for almost twelve hours. He stood back up and realized that he’d actually slept through the entire night and as far back as he can try to remember he didn’t wake up from a nightmare or a night terror, he hadn’t drunk any alcohol or taken any chems. He was almost worried, ever since the assault he’d have a nightmare every time he fell asleep for more than three hours but last night he slept fine, he even felt rested. For the first time in months he felt like he had a good night’s sleep.

“Malakhov?” Jelani called out to Angelus but he got no response.

Jelani looked around and didn’t see him so he figured he must have been in the bathroom so he walked over and knocked on the door but there was no answer. He knocked again and again was met with silence. He opened the door only to find the bathroom was empty, after he closed the door he went into his bedroom and saw it was empty as well. He walked back to the sofa and stood in the middle of the bunker and realized he was all alone and for the first time in months it left a sinking feeling within him. When he came to terms that he was alone he turned to the kitchen to get Dagny something to eat as he figured she must have been starving he noticed some items on the kitchen table and frowned. He was one hundred percent sure he’d cleaned up everything in the kitchen after he and Angelus ate dinner the night before so he went over to it to take care of it but as he got close he noticed what it was.

On the table was a plate of food, cold by now, a fork next to it, a bottle of clean water and a holotape recorder with a holotape labeled in faded black ink “Launch Codes” sitting on it. Jelani recognized both items as both were in the bunker when he first moved in. He sighed deeply and put the holotape into the recorder and hit play and after a few seconds of static Angelus’ voice came on.

“Hi! I’m sorry I left without saying anything but I didn’t wanna wake you up. Hope you don’t mind but I took another shower and made us some breakfast. Now, I ain’t the best cook but I hope it’s okay. Oh! And I fed Dagny this morning so you don’t have to worry about feedin’ her whenever you wake up. Let’s see…um…I’m gonna be out of Boston for about a week and when I get back we can take that li’l trip to Salem and see some weird shit. I promise, it’s worth it. And…listen…I don’t know what happened to you at some point in your life but I am so sorry that I triggered that panic attack. I don’t know how it happened but I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that to you. You know, I may talk a lot but I’m pretty good at listening too so if you need to talk to someone I’m all ears. Anyway, I had a good time with ya and yeah, I’ll see you in a week, sweet pea.”

Jelani shuddered as he tried his hardest to keep himself from crying but by the end of the recording he was sobbing as he wrapped his arms around himself. There were so many thoughts racing across his mind at the moment and he felt emotionally overwhelmed and ashamed of his panic attack the night before. Angelus actually felt good and so did he and for once he managed to keep his fears in check but it seemed like being grabbed a certain way and in certain areas was too much for him. For reasons unknown even to him he wanted to tell him that his panic was sparked by him grabbing his hip but the more he thought about it the stupider it sounded and he felt embarrassed by it. He couldn’t understand why but he missed him already and part of him felt like if he knew where Angelus was headed he would’ve run after him just to be near him and it both confused and scared him. He was never one to be dependent on another person but he wanted to be with him at that very moment and the fact that he wasn’t there and would have to wait a week to see him again felt rancid. He rewinded the holotape as he laid his upper body on the table and played it again just to hear his voice.

[sassyfrassboss]

“Just goes to show how short she is as well.” She’s maybe 5’4” at most. She does have long legs for her short frame but she’s also short waisted. She’s super petite now through whatever method(s) she used to get there. I think she just doesn’t like her looks so she lies about her height, has had at least one nose job, straightens her hair, applies all the tanner, and wears clothes for someone much taller. Maybe it’s body dysmorphia or just insecurity. There is nothing wrong with being petite (I’m 5’2”) but just own it and dress for your shape. She’d probably present better is she just accepted her self as she actually is.

I'm 5'5 and have come to terms with my height long ago. Even though I help out hope for 5'8 because my grandmother was 5'8.

Did you notice though that in Jamaica her bronze tanner was no where to be seen?

So there was an anon years ago that said Meghan and Jessica Mulroney believed themselves to have the body/height of supermodels and really gaslit one another from the sounds of it. That's why Meghan had 5'7 on her resume, along with supermodel I believe.

[qqueenofhades]

US-centric racial bullshit is even a problem in Canada. We LOVE pretending that we’re so much better than the United States and that our prejudices aren’t nearly as bad, but the way we’ve treated indigenous peoples has been abysmal for centuries, and most Canadians who aren’t Gen Z weren’t even aware of the worst of it until 2021. I’m not sure how many people outside of Canada know this but in 2021 they found a mass grave of 215 indigenous children outside an old residential school in Kamloops in BC, and everyone was scandalized for approximately two weeks. They’ve since searched like maybe five more schools out of over a hundred and found thousands of more bodies, and the initiative to even look has kind of fizzled out. This was my parents’ first exposure to the idea of residential schools, we’ve been sweeping this shit under the rug for decades, and we still get off to “not being the US”.

All this to say that Canadian history isn’t as flashy as the US but is still worth taking a look at. There’s a lot of harmful institutions still in place left over from like 1873 that symbolize incredibly tense political situations that continue to this day. And even our black history gets boiled down to “Underground Railroad”, oh aren’t we nice, when that’s really not all that happened.

Because I read international news and follow international politics, I am personally aware of the Canadian residential schools scandal, but it absolutely is something that fizzled out after a few weeks and was attempted to be covered up with a few boilerplate apologies and nothing in the way of real change or action. I would therefore gently question your phrasing of "US-centric racial bullshit," since the whole point of your ask is that while Canada pretends to be better than the US, it has its own specific racial and cultural blind spots relating to its own practice of racism. So would this not be more accurately called "Canada-centric racial bullshit?" After all, you're talking about something that happened in Canada, was perpetrated by Canadians, is directly related to the modern Canadian state, and as such as has been denied by white Canadians. After all, the big Trucker March of right-wingers that shut down Toronto took place in Canada, not the US. So yes, there's definitely a need to talk about Canadian racism in and of itself, and not just Canadian racism as a corollary of the US.

Canada is likewise a white settler-colonial state founded by Europeans (English and French, a split still prominent in modern Canada), and that therefore involved equally horrendous legacies of displacement and genocide against the First Nations people. Because Canada is so much smaller population-wise (300 million+ in the US vs just 38 million in Canada), it has thus to some degree been forced to expand its population by relying on immigrants and refugees. And to its credit, it has been more proactive about accepting refugees than the US. But there are still plenty of right-wingers who think that a geographically enormous and empty country like Canada, with only 38 million people, is getting too "crowded" with "foreigners." Likewise, Canada is still officially a part of the Commonwealth, aka the lightly rebranded British Empire, so its formal head of state is the UK monarch. And to the best of my knowledge, there haven't been any serious conversations about breaking that link and reorganizing as a republic, the way there have been in Caribbean Commonwealth countries like Jamaica and Barbados (which in fact just did it). That is because white first-world Canadians can see association with the British Empire as a "prestige," instead of the legacy of slavery and exploitation that was the British Empire against majority-black countries in the Caribbean.

Anyway: Canadians are always stereotyped as the nice people who apologize for everything and mind their business, and yes, the flaming dumpster fire of America would make anyone feel superior about not being that. But it doesn't mean there's no problems or that it's a perfect society free of its own flaws and failures, and Americans are also definitely guilty of treating it as some magical escape valve: witness the "I'm going to move to Canada" refrain when something political goes wrong here. In some ways, yes, that would be preferable, viz. free healthcare and strict gun laws. But yeah.

[omg-hellgirl]

lol Angie was yelling at Corinne for no reason, that’s why David put his hands on her. I’m not defending that because its disgusting and disrespectful towards her but it happened. Angie couldn’t see her child because once again she gave him to David and basically held up the deuces and started a whole different family claiming that she didn’t want to be reminded of David. How do you think her son feels being in the middle of this war and his mother uses him as a scapegoat. You saying on your blog that’s iconic was weird as hell. Maybe you don’t hate them but you have a weird way of showing your likeness to one person then point out flaws on the next person while the person you uplifted is basically the same. Nobody is the bad guy, they all were victims of drugs. You say things about Anita’s personality when Angie was the same person just different fonts. lol you’re upset for nothing. Then you go responding to other peoples blogs invaliding their thoughts and opinions because you feel Angie was done wrong when really Angie knew that David didn’t love her and because of that fact alone her being the way she was is why he eventually turned his back on her (not blaming just pointing out facts) but Keith loved Anita in his own way and that’s why he never turned his back on her, nothing to be lucky about they had an understanding of each other, David on the other hand didn’t care about her from the jump. Does she deserves better? Yes. She’s done a lot for him. But is blaming and saying slanderous things about Corinne for validation of Angie’s character gonna somehow make her a better person? No. “Thanks for your opinion” likewise.

"Then you go responding to other peoples blogs invaliding their thoughts and opinions because you feel..." I've never been to anyone's blog to say anything about Angie or defend her. I don't know what you're talking about. I just post about her. You're the one who came to my blog to send these asks invalidating my thoughts.

Angie yelled at Corinne for a reason. She put the reason in her book. I don't care if you think it's not a valid reason or not. I don't know why you believe this story if you don't believe what Angie wrote in the first place.

"I questioned Corinne rather sharply about the amount of baggage she'd assembled for a trip to Jamaica, where David was going to record. She snapped at me, so I snapped back at her - "Don't you dare talk to me like that!" -

Putting your hands on a woman isn't just disgusting. It's a crime.

"blaming and saying slanderous things about Corinne for validation of Angie’s character" I hardly ever post about Corinne and when I did it was excerpts from Angie's book. Her book contains slanderous to you. What did you say, before? Remember you were not there. For you they are lies and for me they are Angie's words, which I believe, but I still don't know why so much drama when I only have one or two posts about Corinne. And they can hardly be considered slanderous when they are more about Angie's impression of her.

It will be a pleasure to put them here.

"At the same time, a threat already in place began really asserting itself: the awful Corinne Schwab fired up her campaign for exclusive rights to David Bowie, body and soul."

"My troubles with witches may have been over, but my troubles with bitches had only just begun."

"Of the many acolytes at the altar of the Church of David Bowie, then, Corinne turned out to be both the most enduring and the most privileged. Whether she's ever been admitted to the tabernacle and tasted the holy loins, however, I don't know. I suspect that might have happened in the beginning, since that's how David marked his turf."

Apparently these are the excerpts from Angie's book that I posted and used to "blame" Corinne and say "slanderous" things about her. You are upset for nothing.

You stated things in your previous ask that simply aren't true because they aren't things I said. I never said I hated Anita, but I can still give my opinion on her. Anita is not perfect and I have criticized her because she has flaws like everyone else, but she is not a monster. I've said on my blog that she's in a gray area for me. I don't love her and I don't hate her.

But again, you can feel and think whatever you want, I don't invalidate people's feelings. I'm not telling you how to feel about Angie or anyone else. I post about my feelings and thoughts based on quotes from books I've read.

David never talked about what really happened between him and Angie. His version. So you're making your own assumptions based on what you think his feelings were. I believe in what she said.

"Does she deserves better? Yes. She’s done a lot for him." Yes, we agree on that. And yet, as I said once before, fans can forgive aggression, Nazi gestures, underage girls and parental alienation, but God forbid if a woman talks about her experience with that same man or not having taken custody of her child. Of all Angie's character flaws, because nobody's perfect, nothing compares to this.

You want to see me criticize Angie? Well, here we go. In my opinion, she should have fought for the custody of Duncan. She should have kept her son. She shouldn't have let David keep their son even if his mental health suffered because of it. She shouldn't have given up custody of her son, she should have fought in the sexist Swiss court and gone to the English court if she needed to. She shouldn't have gotten pregnant again. She should have put the world down to see her child. NONE of this erases the things she went through. None of my criticism erases what she went through. What are we supposed to do with this, crucify her? Don't go around assuming that I think she's perfect and that I think she didn't do anything wrong.

Once again, no father has the right to make a mother-son relationship difficult and it was David's choice not to respect Angie. He may not have loved her but she was still the mother of his child and if he had been sensible he would have encouraged and helped Angie to have a good relationship with their son.

Let's not mention the fact that, according to her, he had photos of her in sexual moments with other people that left her at a disadvantage in court. You can call this slander too. Please, also call the nice things she said about him slander. Of course, I would never invalidate someone's feelings and opinions.

Not loving a woman is no excuse for not respecting her or doing the right thing. Keith loved Anita and didn't turn his back on her even when he fell in love with Patti Hansen, but even if he never had loved Anita, it wouldn't be okay for him to throw her under the bus and try to hide the influence Anita had on him.

I will not answer any more asks from you. I will continue to post about Angie so block me if it bothers you so much.

Thanks again for your opinion, please don't go to other people's blogs "invaliding their thoughts and opinions because you feel..."

[lboogie1906]

Mayor Eric Adams (September 1, 1960) grew up with adversity—and overcame it.

As one of six children, born in Brownsville and raised in South Jamaica by a single mom who cleaned houses. He was beaten by police in the basement of a precinct house at 15, he faced a life-changing act of injustice. He turned his pain into purpose and decided to change the police department from within. He joined the NYPD and became one of its most outspoken officers, calling out racism and bias in the department and pushing for major reforms.

As a founder of 100 Blacks in Law Enforcement Who Care, he would often police the streets in a bulletproof vest one day during the high-crime 1980s and 1990s and protest bad behavior by cops the next, marching side-by-side with his fellow civil rights advocates. He rose to the rank of captain, helping to build the first computerized system for tracking crime in the city, which led to historic gains in public safety.

He moved on to the State Senate, where he represented sections of central and Brownstone Brooklyn. He built winning coalitions to advance New York City’s values and goals, helping to push through measures to protect tenants and workers, combat gun violence, end the NYPD’s abuses of stop and frisk, and advance human rights — including marriage equality. He became the first person of color to chair the Senate’s Homeland Security Committee.

He was elected Brooklyn Borough President (2013) by putting together a diverse coalition of Brooklynites to become the borough’s first Black leader. He fought to grow the local economy, invest in schools, reduce inequality, improve public safety, and advocate for smart policies and better government that delivers for all New Yorkers.

He became a national leader in public health policy after learning he had developed Type 2 diabetes. He changed his diet and his body, reversing the disease and launching a personal mission to educate New Yorkers about preventative care and wellness.

He received his MPA from Marist College and is a graduate of New York City Technical College and the John Jay College of Criminal Justice. He has one son. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence