#Betsy the Oven

[unacaritafeliz]

we know lardo would sweep so...

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Might I humbly request some arson?

WIP Wednesday (5/15) | Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 172)

“I’m just saying… I mean, it’s alive,” 10 says, sounding stupid and making Andrew roll his eyes.

“Yes. I think the general idea is keeping it that way.”

“I know, I know. But it’s weird. To have something that depends on you like that? I couldn’t do it.”

“You keep yourself alive,” Andrew points out. “I’m not sure how, since you’re a magnet for trouble. But you do.”

10 laughs. “It’s different.”

“You’re stupid.”

“You’re stupider.”

“Perhaps,” Andrew says with a smile on his face. The way his heart flutters when 10 laughs is something he should probably get checked out, but he won’t. Before 10 can say anything else, Andrew’s kitchen timer goes off signifying that his brownies are done. “Oh, just a second.”

10 hums in acknowledgement and Andrew sets his phone down on the counter so he can take the pan from the oven and sit it atop the stove. He cuts a huge chunk out and dumps them into a bowl before piling a couple scoops of ice cream on top. The cookies and creme starts to melt immediately and Andrew’s glad he impulsively bought it at the store the other day.

He grabs his bowl and his phone, taking them both with him to the old armchair by the window— the one he’d stolen from Betsy’s office when she moved her practice— dropping into it like a lead weight with his legs bent under him. It’s raining this evening and it looks pretty on the window. Andrew digs into his mess of sweetness and puts his phone on speaker before sitting it on the arm of the chair.

“I’m back,” he announces.

“Welcome back,” 10 says. “Brownies good?”

“Haven’t tried them yet. But yes.”

“Give me some.”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” Andrew snorts. “Do I look like a delivery man to you?”

“No. You look like a firefighter.” 10 says. Then, “Actually. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you I’m beginning to forget how you look. You had long brown hair, right? About six feet tall?”

Andrew can hear the laughter in his voice and rolls his eyes. “Yep, that’s me.”

[carlos-in-glasses]

This is what TK Strand fucking went through to make a Beef Wellington for Carlos Reyes.

Method (per BBC Good Food)

STEP 1 - Heat oven to 220C/fan 200C/gas 7.

STEP 2 - Sit the 1kg beef fillet on a roasting tray, brush with 1 tbsp olive oil and season with pepper, then roast for 15 mins for medium-rare or 20 mins for medium. When the beef is cooked to your liking, remove from the oven to cool, then chill in the fridge for about 20 mins.

STEP 3 - While the beef is cooling, chop 250g chestnut (and wild, if you like) mushrooms as finely as possible so they have the texture of coarse breadcrumbs. You can use a food processor to do this, but make sure you pulse-chop the mushrooms so they don’t become a slurry.

STEP 4 - Heat 2 tbsp of the olive oil and 50g butter in a large pan and fry the mushrooms on a medium heat, with 1 large sprig fresh thyme, for about 10 mins stirring often, until you have a softened mixture.

STEP 5 - Season the mushroom mixture, pour over 100ml dry white wine and cook for about 10 mins until all the wine has been absorbed. The mixture should hold its shape when stirred.

STEP 6 - Remove the mushroom duxelle from the pan to cool and discard the thyme.

STEP 7 - Overlap two pieces of cling film over a large chopping board. Lay 12 slices prosciutto on the cling film, slightly overlapping, in a double row.

STEP 8 - Spread half the duxelles over the prosciutto, then sit the fillet on it and spread the remaining duxelles over.

STEP 9 - Use the cling film’s edges to draw the prosciutto around the fillet, then roll it into a sausage shape, twisting the ends of cling film to tighten it as you go.

STEP 10 - Chill the fillet while you roll out the pastry.

STEP 11 - Dust your work surface with a little flour. Roll out a third of the 500g pack of puff pastry to a 18 x 30cm strip and place on a non-stick baking sheet.

STEP 12 - Roll out the remainder of the 500g pack of puff pastry to about 28 x 36cm.

STEP 13 - Unravel the fillet from the cling film and sit it in the centre of the smaller strip of pastry.

STEP 14 - Beat the 2 egg yolks with 1 tsp water and brush the pastry’s edges, and the top and sides of the wrapped fillet.

STEP 15 - Using a rolling pin, carefully lift and drape the larger piece of pastry over the fillet, pressing well into the sides.

STEP 16 - Trim the joins to about a 4cm rim. Seal the rim with the edge of a fork or spoon handle.

STEP 17 - Glaze all over with more egg yolk and, using the back of a knife, mark the beef Wellington with long diagonal lines taking care not to cut into the pastry.

STEP 18 - Chill for at least 30 mins and up to 24 hrs. Heat oven to 200C/fan 180C/gas 6.

STEP 19 - Brush the Wellington with a little more egg yolk and cook until golden and crisp – 20-25 mins for medium-rare beef, 30 mins for medium. Allow to stand for 10 mins before serving in thick slices.

Sorry but. Heavens to Betsy. That's nineteen steps and it takes 2.5hrs. Baby was not messing around lol

[sugarpopss]

Lee Bodecker Blurb

So......I've been talking about Lee a lot with @bucknastysbabe which of course means I pooped out something kind of horny. Imagine he and Florence get a nasty divorce at some, feel how plausible that is, then come back to this. Also kind of some kink discovery but Lee is such a good vessel for feedism yknow

Lee had a routine. He got off patrol, drove forty minutes out to the cabin on the far side of the county, and ate a somewhat miserable dinner while ‘I’ve Got a Secret’ or ‘The Price is Right’ droned on in front of him, driving the stale silence into the corners for a little bit.

Sometimes he stopped at the diner in Meade for food that was more salt and bacon grease than real ingredients, ordered in a quantity that made the teenage girl working the register raise her eyebrows; sometimes he exercised the full extent of his cooking skills and put a TV dinner in the oven. Either way, he parked his ass on the sofa, let the sound of the television fill his head and ate his dinner in a scene that would not be out of place in the 1963 edition of ‘Pathetic Divorcees 12 Month Calendar’. 

Most nights, in an astounding display of disregard for personal dignity, Lee jerked off after eating. Sometimes he focused on the television and let Betsy Palmer float into his imagination, leaving the panel behind to show Lee what was under her tight little skirt. Other times he thought of his ex-wife, saw her chocolate dark hair and recalled the feeling of her breasts in his hands, how she’d tip her head back with pitchy moans when their sex was good. The only downside was that that usually led him into thinking about how nights like that had dwindled as he spent more time working-because to Lee, being on patrol or filing paperwork or meeting with Leroy all fell under the umbrella of ‘work’, at least for his purposes-how, coming up on the day Florence had served him the divorce papers, even their coupling became cold and distant and quiet, usually ending in yelling or tears if not both. 

Thinking about that made Lee feel like shit. 

The masturbation fodder Lee liked the best, though-or maybe just what he felt the least amount of guilt over-was the feeling of his own gut, packed with fatty diner food or ice cream and Nabisco cookies, skin warm from the stretch and stomach slightly aching as it tried churn through everything inside. He preferred not to dwell on why that feeling got him so absurdly hard-why palming his swollen belly made his cock leak like an old faucet. 

In any case, masturbation was the third part of Lee’s routine. The fourth part was really playing the washed up cop and passing out under the fog of a full stomach and an orgasm. At a different time he would’ve polished off the image with a couple of beers, something to add to both the haze in his mind and the bloat in his stomach, but. Well. He was trying, as pathetic as it sounded. 

As pathetic as ‘trying’ seemed to be, seeing as he still ended up conked out on the sofa, television illuminating how his undershirt was slowly creeping up over the curve of his gut like some slovenly sitcom husband. Except, that is, for the nights when Lee had the post-nut wherewithal and motivation to actually get into bed. It was actually a little bit sad how quickly he’d adjusted to sleeping alone. There was something almost reassuring about getting into a cold bed, as opposed to one warmed by a body that he knew has been waiting for hours; there was no one to disappoint or fight with or lie to in a cold bed, although Lee had done all three quite liberally throughout his marriage and didn’t feel so much guilt that he’d take them back, given the opportunity. He certainly wouldn’t give up what they’d gotten him…but it still felt safer to be alone. 

Besides, the warmth and weight of his packed gut was a close enough substitute for the comfort of a woman, the grip of his own callused fist a workable approximation of the tight, wet heat of a cunt. Shocking as it may be, there wasn’t a line of women out the front door of the creaky old cabin with one working sink and raccoons in the attic-but even those traits were probably a better draw than Lee himself. 

It didn’t matter. He was just alright by himself-it seemed like exactly the way he was meant to be. 

[silvermarmoset]

which books they’re from under the cut!

options 1 and 2-the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe (mr tumnus’s tea and the badgers’ supper)

options 3 and 4-the wind in the willows, (toad’s stew from the horse-trader and his dinner with the jailer’s daughter)

options 5 and 6 are from understood betsy (her welcome home dinner and the meal that really starts to change her opinion of the Putneys)

options 7 and 8 are from Betsy and Tacy Go Downtown and Heavens to Betsy (the Christmas party at Mrs. Poppy’s and Mr. Ray’s Sunday night lunch)

option 9 is from the secret garden (Dickon, Colin, and Mary make a little oven in the garden so nobody can tell they’re eating between meals)

option 10 is from the wind in the willows again (badger breakfast). Sorry but Kenneth Grahame is just the king of food description!!

honorable mentions who just couldn’t hold up under the allure of buttered toast: Anne Shirley’s jam preserves and vanilla cake (Anne of Green Gables), Sara’s secret meal of savory soup and sandwiches (A Little Princess), the March sisters’ giveaway breakfast of muffins and cream (Little Women), Sam’s rabbit stew with herbs and bread (The Lord of the Rings), Strega Nona’s endless pasta (Strega Nona), everything eaten by Vianne but particularly the thick pancakes drizzled with honey and all those espresso drinks (Chocolat).

[einsteinsugly]

Fictober 9. That 70s Show. October 1994. In Grandma's Kitchen.

Smoke is billowing throughout the Forman kitchen, and Betsy Kelso takes a blackened pie out of the oven. In absolute shame.

Betsy sighs, slightly panicking, poking at the rigid monstrosity with a fork. "Okay, Ani. What am I gonna do?"

But Becca Hyde, observing at the kitchen table, interrupts Betsy's questionable pondering, before Kitty can even open her mouth. "Turn off the oven, you moron."

"You're talking to the class of 97's future Valedictorian."

Becca rolls her eyes, unrelenting. "Turn off the oven, you moron."

"Uh, fine!" Betsy angrily scoffs, "At this point, I'm gonna be ordering take-out for the rest of my life..."

Suddenly, the smoke alarm starts to blare, and Betsy stands there, utterly clueless. While Kitty tries to dissipate the smoke with a broom.

"That would be a good idea." Betsy is trying to figure out which knob to turn, and Kitty quickly does the honors. "This is your second pie, Bets."

"But I can't fail!" Betsy cries, "I should just buy a pie or something..."

Red storms in, angry and annoyed. The smoke alarm has interrupted his Packers' game, and he's only heard the last little tidbit.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you," Red grumbles, helping to dissipate the smoke until the alarm falls silent, "Aunt Jackie tried that crap, and she failed."

"I can bake the pie for you, but you gotta pay up." Becca has luckily inherited her father's cooking ability, and not her mother's lack thereof, and she proudly smirks because of that unwavering fact. And, she can use said ability to her advantage. "Or else."

Kitty uncomfortably laughs. "I don't know if that's the right thing to do, Beck..."

But Betsy is quick to cut her off. "I'll give you a twenty."

Becca proudly nods, with a victorious chuckle. "That's cool."

[lacangri21]

With No Immediate Cause

Every 3 minutes a woman is beaten

Every 5 minutes a woman is raped

Every 10 minutes a li’l girl is molested

Yet I rode the subway today

I sat next to an old man

Who may have beaten his old wife

3 minutes ago

Or 3 days ago

Or 30 years ago

He might have sodomized his daughter

But I sat there

Cuz the young men on the train

Might beat some young women

Later in the day or tomorrow

I might not shut my door fast

Every 3 minutes it happens

Some woman’s innocence

Rushes to her cheeks

Pours from her mouth

Like the Betsy Wetsy dolls

Have been torn apart

Their mouths menses red and split

Every 3 minutes a shoulder is jammed through plaster and the oven door

Chairs pushed through the ribcage

Hot water or boiling sperm decorate her body

I rode the subway today

And bought a paper from a man

Who might have held his old lady onto a hot pressing iron

I don’t know

Maybe he catches li’l girls in the park

And rips open their behinds with steel rods

I can’t decide what he might have done

I only know

Every 3 minutes

Every 5 minutes

Every 10 minutes

So I bought the paper

Looking for the announcement

The discovery

Of the dismembered woman’s body

The victims have not all been identified

Today they are naked and dead

Refuse to testify

One girl out of 10’s not coherent

I took the coffee and spit it up

I found an announcement

Not the woman’s bloated body in the river

Floating

Not the child bleeding in the 59th Street corridor

Not the baby broken on the floor

There is some concern

That alleged battered women

Might start to murder

Their husbands and lovers

“With no immediate cause”

I spit up

I vomit

I am screaming

We all have immediate cause

Every 3 minutes

Every 5 minutes

Every 10 minutes

Every day

Women’s bodies

Are found in alleys and bedrooms

At the top of the stairs

Before I ride the subway

Buy a paper

Drink a coffee

I must know:

Have you hurt a woman today?

Did you beat a woman today?

Throw a child across the room?

Are the li’l girl’s panties

In your pocket?

Did you hurt a woman today?

I have to ask these obscene questions

The authorities require me to establish

Immediate cause

Every 3 minutes

Every 5 minutes

Every 10 minutes

Every day

-Ntozake Shange

Written out in a way that is easiest for me to read

[simlebrityblogger]

OMG, grab your tea, folks! Looks like Betsy and August are cooking up baby number THREE in that secret celebrity oven of theirs! Paparazzi ninjas (seriously, how do they do it?) caught the lovebirds sneaking out of a doctor's office, and you know what that means – pregnancy checkup alert! This is HUGE because it's the very FIRST time we've laid eyes on a pregnancy pic of Betsy. She's been preggers twice before, but this is like spotting a unicorn in Hollywood!

Third time's the charm, they say, and boy, oh boy, does Betsy look like she's embracing the magic.

Major congrats are in order for the couple! Let the gender predictions begin – is it gonna be a mini-August or a little Betsy running around? We're on the edge of our seats waiting to see how they'll handle this unexpected leak. 👀 #BabyOnBoard #CelebGossip #BetsyAndAugustBabyWatch

[cambria-writes]

it's a ciabatta recipe a very nice person has up on tiktok! (there is a lot of swearing but tbh that's why i saved it) i halved the recipe the first time just in case but made the whole thing this time and i just took it out of the oven and HEAVENS TO BETSY it smells good

it's taking all my self control not to eat it right now

[proxylynn]

Who died in the most horrible way possible in Puss In Boots 2?

[Hmmm...There are so many, it's hard to say.

We got the 8 deaths of Puss.

Trampled by bulls.

Attacked by dogs.

Drunken fall from extreme heights.

Crushed by a huge barbell while weightlifting.

Explosion while in a canon.

Extreme allergic reaction to shellfish.

Intense burning due to overheated oven.

Crushed by a massive bell.

We got the falling/crushing deaths of the Lilliputians.

The golden death of Jo Serpent.

Many possible guard deaths in the pie factory.

Jerry Cobbler is eaten by a carnivorous posy.

Pete Cobbler, Betsy Crocker, and Tommy Lee Scones explode due to unicorn horns.

Ben Yay, Terror-Misu, Butter Scott, Stevia, Crustina, Cinnaman, Sir Thomas Brady Fingers, and Rhu-Barb die from falling/tank crushing into a gorge.

Nutmegan is de-materialized by the star magic.

And Big Jack Horner sinks into the molten core of the star before it collapses in on itself then explodes!

All of them are horrible ways to die.]

[nikkiruncks]

icon by @fireflynight435

Full name: Elizabeth Victoria Kelso

Nicknames: ‘Bets’, ‘Betsy’ (by everyone), ‘Liz’, ‘Baby’, ‘Lizzie’ (by Kristie), ‘sis’, ‘turd’, ‘lunatic’ (by Jay), My Baby Girl, My Daughter, Bambi (by Kelso), Feeble-minded bun-in-her-oven, kid (by Hyde), That thing (by Eric), ‘Fat girl’ (by Jackie), ‘Honey’ (by Brooke and Kelso)

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Birth Place: Point Place, Wisconsin

Birthday: January 15, 1979 (age 16)

Occupation: High School Student (at PPHS), Part Time Gym Instructor

Family: Michael Kelso (father), Brooke Rockwell (mother), Jay Kelso (younger brother), Oak Kelso (youngest brother), Carolyn Rockwell (maternal grandmother), Joe Rockwell (maternal grandfather), John Kelso (paternal grandfather), Eliza Kelso (paternal grandmother), Casey Kelso (paternal uncle), Chris Kelso (paternal uncle), Celia Stearwater (paternal aunt), Kelsey Stearwater (paternal great-aunt), Elaina Kelso (paternal aunt), Alex Kelso (paternal aunt), Betsy (great-grandmother), Jackie Burkhart (honorary aunt/godmother), Steven Hyde (honorary uncle/godfather), Fez (honorary uncle), Rhonda Tate (honorary aunt), Layla Kelso (paternal cousin), Rebecca Rockwell (maternal aunt)

Romances: Kristie Forman (girlfriend), Nate Runck (former crush), John Helmsman (lost her virginity to), Alessio Burns (ex boyfriend), Jennifer Hutton (one night stand), Misty Dickerson (one night stand), Jerry (ex boyfriend), Elsa (ex fling), Rita (ex girlfriend), Sophia (ex girlfriend), Olaf (ex boyfriend), Joseph (ex boyfriend), Moses (one date)

Friends: Serena Marotti (best friend), Kelly Shaland (best friend), Nate Runck (sometimes), Gwen Runck, Leia Forman

Enemies: Joanna Mitchell

Pet(s): Jamie Kelso (dog)

[project1939]

100+ Films of 1952

Film number 116: The First Time 

Release date: January 31st, 1952 

Studio: Columbia 

Genre: comedy 

Director: Frank Tashin 

Producer: Harold Hecht 

Actors: Robert Cummings, Barbara Hale, Jeff Donnell 

Plot Summary: Betsy and Joe, a young married couple, comedically deal with the trials and tribulations of their first-born child. 

My Rating (out of 5 stars): **¾ 

This is one of those lower budget A films (B+ films?) that studios cranked out like sausage. It’s kind of cute, but unless you are someone with an interest in the cultural history of the early 1950s, there isn’t much reason to watch it. 

The Good: 

Barbara Hale as Betsy. I found her immediately likeable- she has a certain strength about her that wasn’t typical for girl next door types. Her voice is a little lower, and she doesn’t have the appearance of a frail little wife. She also handled the comedy pretty well. 

The character actors were all entertaining. Bea Benaderet, who played Betsy’s roommate in the hospital, was especially good. 

The “Gay Divorcee” grandmother Cassie. I loved her character until a speech she gave at the very end of the movie. Other than that, she was a fun and unique grandmother for the time. 

The close-up view of 50s suburban culture. The house in the movie was small and realistic, and seeing things like the size of the oven, the cool clocks on the wall, the weird saloon-door room dividers is totally my jam. The different ideas of child-rearing were interesting as well- some of the characters fought over bottle feeding vs. nursing, and bottle feeding was touted as superior “modern science” that would prevent a mother from losing her figure! 

The financial realities of raising a child were explicitly detailed. Joe made $55 a week, which would be about $33,500 a year today. Cloth diapers in today’s money would cost $35 a dozen, and Joe needed help paying an additional $1000 of his hospital bill, while paying a live-in nurse $650 a week. 

One scene that really made me laugh was a comedy of misunderstanding. Joe thinks he’s going to a bus stop to pick up the babysitter, but instead he picks up a kind of call girl (although that language was never explicitly used). The best line was when Joe asked, “You’re a sitter, aren’t you?” Her reply? “Just between you and me- two scotches and I’ll sit anywhere!” Amazingly risque for the time! 

The Bad: 

A lot of the humor was pedestrian and predictable. 

The plot was pretty loose and episodic. 

It often felt more like an extended sit-com than a movie. 

One of the big comedy moments near the end of the film was so unfunny I wanted to fast-forward it. (It was when Joe confronted his boss about the quality of the washing machines they sold.) 

Twin beds, really? Joe and Betsy needed to have twin beds? How did they manage to actually have children when the beds were that ridiculously small? 

The ending was also predictable, and it predictably hit you over the head with the superiority of heteronormative marital bliss. And the idea that a married couple isn’t complete unless they have children. 

The divorcee grandma’s final speech also had to fall in line with the message of the film. Even though she seemed so independent and “gay” (in the old sense), she warned her daughter of ending up like her- old and alone and unattractive to men because she isn’t young anymore. Good god. 

The movie poster: that likeness of Robert Cummings is atrocious! 

[reasoningdaily]

Archeological discoveries are seen in Luxor, Egypt, in this undated handout photo.

Zahi Hawass Center For Egyptology via Reuters

A mission led by Egypt's former antiquities chief Zahi Hawass unearthed "several areas or neighborhoods" of the 3,000-year-old city after seven months of excavation.

MORE: 'Pharaoh's curse' blamed for Suez Canal blockage, other unfortunate events in Egypt

Skeletal human remains sit in the archeological dig site in Luxor, Egypt, in this undated handout photo.

Zahi Hawass Center For Egyptology via Reuters

The city, which Hawass also called "The Rise of Aten," dates back to the era of 18th-dynasty king Amenhotep III, who ruled Egypt from 1391 till 1353 B.C.

"The excavation started in September 2020 and within weeks, to the team's great surprise, formations of mud bricks began to appear in all directions," Egypt's antiquities ministry said in a statement.

"What they unearthed was the site of a large city in a good condition of preservation, with almost complete walls, and with rooms filled with tools of daily life."

The southern part of the city includes a bakery, ovens and storage pottery while the northern part, most of which remain under the sands, comprises administrative and residential districts, the ministry added.

Archeological discoveries sit among the dig in Luxor, Egypt, in this undated handout photo.

Zahi Hawass Center For Egyptology via Reuters

"The city's streets are flanked by houses," with some walls up to 3 meter high, Hawass also said.

Hawass said the city was still active during Amenhotep III's co-regency with his son, Akhenaten, but that the latter eventually abandoned it when he took the throne. Akhenaten then founded Amarna, a new capital in the modern-day province of Minya, some 250 km south of Cairo and 400 km north of Luxor.

MORE: Egypt unlocks more secrets in Saqqara with discovery of temple, sarcophagi

Betsy Brian, professor of egyptology at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, said the finding's importance is only second to the earth-shattering discovery of King Tut's tomb.

A new archaeological discovery stands in Luxor, Egypt, in this undated handout photo.

Zahi Hawass Center For Egyptology via Reuters

Egypt has made a string of major discoveries over the past few years as it hopes to revive its vital tourism industry, which was badly hit by two uprisings and the COVID-19 pandemic.

The country held a glitzy parade to move 22 mummies to a newly inaugurated museum in Cairo on Saturday and is preparing to open the Grand Egyptian Museum near the Giza Pyramids later this year.

Egypt says GEM will be the biggest museum in the world dedicated to a single civilization.

[einsteinsugly]

creativepromptsforwriting.tumblr.com/post/644114402285584384/kisses

welcome home kisses for formciotti!!

@jackieburkhrts, I've got something!

July 1995. Movie Monday, and Domestic Bliss.

"You know, Mommy likes you to have pants on when she gets home."

Eric is used to his youngest daughter's loud mouth, as he quickly deflects. "She bought me these Spiderman boxers."

In turn, Leah is quick to classify such a preposterous statement as a big, fat lie. "No, she didn't."

He quickly folds, gazing at the television screen, as the opening credits roll. Pointing to his white Hanes t-shirt, to prove another point. "She bought me this t shirt."

"I can believe that. It's boring..."

A low, melodic voice rings, stinging clear. "Leah."

Having overheard the entire conversation, Donna swings open the door, and Leah notably twitches.

Her blue-green eyes are as wide as saucers, and Leah quickly opens her mouth. To deflect, of course.

"Hi, Mommy."

"Your dad's way more boring than I'll ever be." Donna slips off her loafers, plopping on the couch. Rolling her eyes at her nerdy husband, she predictably groans. "And predictable."

"See? I told you she wouldn't like it..." But Leah quickly eats her words, as Donna kisses Eric on the cheek. And he happily reciprocates, of course.

Leah feigns gagging noises, and loudly but predictably protests. "But he's so predictable, Mommy. He and Kate chose to watch Forrest Gump for the bazillionith time. I wanted him to watch Mrs. Doubtfire with me, so he I can get him to use his girly Mrs. Doubtfire voice."

"You're not very good at that," Donna posits, as Leah inevitably bursts into maniacal giggles, "She laughs at you, not with you."

"Hey, I like a room full of laughter," Eric states, glancing at their giggling daughter with fatherly love and a touch of well-earned exasperation, "But I won't put frosting on my face and reenact the hello..."

The strawberry-haired goon finally pipes down, if only for a mere second, only to twist and shout. "Do it in your Mrs. Doubtfire voice!"

"He's not very good at that." Their eldest daughter, another redhead, finally makes a belated appearance. With a hastily assembled platter in hand. "I have snacks."

"I want some!" Leah bellows, in a way only a five year old can, until she eyes the plate and promptly scrunches her nose in disgust, "Apple wedges and pretzels? I told you Kate'd pick lame snacks, Daddy."

"It's way healthier than Oreos and crackers with Cheez Whiz," Kate states, in a motherly, wary tone, "Plus, we're out of Cheez Whiz."

But for once, Leah doesn't seem to mind. "I want pizza rolls!"

Leah leaps into action, and for once, Eric is quick to admonish. "You're not going anywhere near the oven, missy."

Her braids whip around like a broken Skip It, with a dramatic sigh. And a haphazard pinky promise, jutting her left pinky towards the sky. "I'm not gonna set it on fire like Betsy, I promise."

Donna sighs, glaring at Eric. "I take it Dad didn't make you dinner, and let you have snacks?"

This time, Kate is quick to open her mouth. Throwing Eric under the bus, as she divulges everything.

"I told him not to, but he wouldn't listen. He said we can have snacks, and then we can have a late dinner."

In turn, Donna reluctantly volunteers, with a dismissive roll of the eyes. As if it's an insane idea that she refuses to even contemplate.

"Actually, I think I'll make dinner."

For a moment, all seems serene. Eric relaxes, spreading his feet onto a waiting ottoman, purposely oblivious, as Kate and Leah glance at each other.

But Donna then stands up, with a notable footnote. As soon as she catches her bearings, Eric's Ottoman Empire comes crashing down, with a maniacal smirk.

"But you have to wash the dishes."

[brian-betsy]

Always ensure claims made are appropriate even when the oven is missing

Always ensure claims made are appropriate even when the oven is missing https://propertyindustryeye.com/always-ensure-any-claims-made-are-appropriate-even-when-the-oven-is-missing/ The tenancy deposit claim by the landlord was for a contribution towards a missing oven, at the end of the tenancy. Here's what happened. Brian Betsy

[shitty-check-please-aus]

The team builds a robot that doesn’t do anything. Just sits there and burns food at extremely high temperatures. Oh wait, that’s the oven without bitty supervising it

I like calling every appliance a robot