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ktsphere · 2 months ago

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I was at the studio record for tonight's taskmaster episode, so full debrief below the readmore! (Spoilers for TM S18E5)

[Some things may be paraphrased as I wrote it all down immediately after the episode record.]

ARRIVAL AND SEATING

We got to the studio at about 10:15am, there were approx 10 people there already

The staff didn't turn up till 10:30 so we made our own queue

Staff moved our queue and told everyone with cars in the visitor carpark to move them, they join the queue in their cars while people on foot queued in the rain

Lots of waiting around, then the queue was moved, then a quick security check, then wristbands and more waiting around. There were not enough toilets. There were snacks and drinks available to buy but no "real" food.

We started moving again at 12:45.

The first 22 people got orange wrist bands and we were put in the gallery! (11 on each side)

The gallery itself is only as deep as the chairs, it's very much only decorated on the sides that the camera can see.

The decoration behind us was plasticy and painted gold, kind of like paper plate material.

The wall was painted with the same pattern as the sides, but super small, gold on red, but looked less neat than the big stuff which is more visible on camera.

Underneath us was bare wood and we were in a metal frame.

My friend went to the loo and said Greg and Alex's seats arrived on the back of a trailer and stopped at the zebra crossing for her.

The studio was much smaller than I expected, 5 or so rows of seats in the front section, literally within arms reach of the seat 1 contestant. This looked like it was all people with a red wristband, who were 2nd after orange.

The back section was bigger, I'd say maybe 8 rows deep? And wider.

There was some reshuffling of seats near the end, some people who were right at the back were put in the front row at the last minute (probably some priority people didn't turn up?)

I don't think anyone's view was obstructed by cameras, but the left gallery couldn't see the contestants' faces, while the right gallery (including me) couldn't see Greg & Alex's faces.

(I did see Alex's shoulders sort of hunch every time he got the giggles though which was incredibly cute)

INTRO

Mark the warm up man got people shouting out & making noise (he comes back at every ad break, and every set change break)(some of the breaks he asked if we had any questions about the filming of TM and answered them to the best of his ability)(one time we played audience tinder, which is like audience guess who but based on 1 single person's romantic requirements (man, single, over 23, under 30. This got everyone out, and mark announced that was why she was still single.)

Mark brought Greg on

Someone shouted happy birthday

Greg: it's not today, it was on the 14th. I'm 55. Today it's ............................... It was.................

Someone in the Audience: it was on Tuesday!

[Note today is thursday]

Greg: At a certain age you stop counting birthdays. I woke up and realised I was closer to 60 than 50, And genuinely the first thing I said when I woke up, alone in my bedroom, was "blink"

Greg brought Alex on

Alex: I have some bad news

Greg: oh no

Alex: you're actually 56

Greg: oh what did I say?

Alex: 55

Greg: oh I was in a good mood and you've put me in a bad mood now

Greg asked the audience for help with Alex's improv

Alex was told to come up with a Pop song about corn

This was misheard by Greg as porn

They decided on corny porn

Greg gives Alex a beat

Alex [singing]: Sometimes a man gets lonely

*Greg and audience piss themselves, Alex breaks*

Greg: I thought I'd give you some time there to come up with a rhyme for lonely

Alex: oh I'm going for an ABCB rhyming scheme

[Slightly paraphrased in places because I'm not perfect]

[Greg beat starts up again]

Alex, Singing:

Sometimes a man gets lonely

And that man is Alex Horne

all his friends are out for the evening

So he opens his corny porn

[verse 2]

*Something about Cracker jokes*

*something about a boy and a girl*

*[I forgot this line]*

And then they have full sex.

(((If anyone was there and remembers these lines I will happily make edits)))

Greg: I thought you were going to shy away from the sex

Alex: oh, no, didn't shy away

Greg: they have legitimate sex

Alex: well they do love each other, so it's legitimate sex

Alex: But it wasn't being filmed

Alex: It was actually behind a closed door

Greg: so it wasn't porn at all

Contestants are introduced to the audience by greg before they all sit down

Andy zaltzman is wearing a snooker outfit, with cue and chalk. He is told (by Greg, who was told by the greenroom) to put the cue over his left shoulder so the cameras can see him. He says the producer told him to wear it over his right just before the show. Greg relays this to the greenroom, and then says [to greenroom] "bit harsh", and [to Andy] "he called you a lying cunt"

Babatunde aleshe

Emma sidi

Jack Dee

Rosie jones

The Makeup team come on, there's some admin stuff (fire safety etc)

Then it starts properly, they play the introduction on the big screen

Greg: A man who told me fire fighters are the ¿Least ?? ? Of all the emergency services.

Alex: I was most scared if this one because if my house burns down...

Greg: Well you should stop telling me these things

BANTER SECTION

Alex: The group chat is popping off

The taskmaster WhatsApp, we've had some questions

Alex: Question from Brian. Actually, a lot of people asked this. Are Greg and Alex twins?

Alex: Someone else asked if I was ok

Greg: yes I always wonder that

Alex: I had an ECG and felt better

Alex: an EGG

Alex: I had an egg.

Greg: *Groans*

Greg: You do it on purpose. I was in a good mood. You've put me in a foul mood. Is that really all you've prepared? Someone thinks we're twins, and you've had an egg.

PRIZE TASK

Thing that's best when you add water

Baba, trying to defend jelly to greg: "You know when your mums just like-"

Greg: "sorry I'm going to stop you there, it sounded like you called my mum a slag

*General confusion*

[They Continue]

Baba: you know when your mums a slag

*Everyone in the audience heard it this time*

Baba confused, everyone else pissing themselves

*Repeat multiple times, everyone getting more and more hysterical*

Baba: you know when Your Mum *Says*...

Greg, holding his ear piece: How likely is it the slag comments are going to be left in? The gallery says 100%.

TASK 1: Alex is a robot, direct to charging port, gibe an instruction every 10 seconds, robot wont follow instructions with o or e

Emma makes sexual moans when she sees the robot

Greg replays VT multiple times, she calls it "Platonic arousal"

Long discussion about mascots and those tall wobbly dancing tubes, and Mr blobby

Emma loves them all but they have to move

Greg brings up a butcher mascot which was a pig cutting parts of itself off, but it doesn't move so Emma isn't interested. If it moved she'd like it

Andy: Coming from a Jewish background, would the pig cutting parts of itself off be kosher?

Emma: no! [Pause for laughter/apology/embarrassment] sorry, no because pork isn't kosher. It's the trotters.

Someone: if the pig cuts its own trotters off then maybe it could be kosher

Greg: snip snip snip, out it goes

[There's a submarine in the garden?!!]

Emma, during task: walk lady

Emma, in studio: I changed it to walk by lady, I realised I could say by

Greg: Bisexual lady?

Emma: I'm not assuming the sexuality of the robot

Lots of "I mean him, not me" from Alex when talking about the robot

Rosie points out she got a lap dance from the robot

Emma: "Oh robot - we've found it!" (Or similar)

Greg takes the piss multiple times throughout the ep

TASK 2: make the strongest smell and put it in this jar. *Jar is sealed for 3-4 months until the studio record*

Rosie's sounds very very ominous, everyone is scared

On the back of the task it says anyone who is unwilling to smell their own jar gets 0 points

They talk about how that's definitely backfired on Rosie

Rosie: I'm actually quite excited, I want to smell it

Greg makes Alex read something out

Alex: oh, strange, this one is handwritten. Alex also has to smell the jars or Greg will kick him in the gooch

Emma pretends hers smells super strong, Greg describes it as mild

Baba: marmite and coffee, makes his eyes bulge

Rosie's is hugely disappointing. She repeats how disappointed she is. Greg doesn't believe her until he smells it and says he is also disappointed.

Andy's makes all the contestants gag (sardines, vinegar, huge mix of random crap, detergent, soap,)

Alex: I was surprised you went with things that remove stubborn smells

*The smells waft up to the balcony and to some of the front row. *

Jack's makes Greg lightheaded and have to pause for a bit (air freshener)

Later, in one of the breaks:

Audience member: why didn't Alex smell the smells?

Audience ooh and mutter

Mark: very good question

[Alex did not then smell the smells :( ]

TASK 3: Present a heartwarming local news story

[Team task!]

Rosie and Jack

Andy, Emma and Baba

The intro to this gets played again because they did some smelly pickups while the table was still out, and then packed it up again, and by that time everyone had forgotten what the task was.

Greg says Andy looks younger as Isabella the old lady than as himself

*Greg talks shit about both their attempts*

Greg says he thinks they both did really well

Alex: *do* you think that? It didn't sound like that

Greg says Emma could genuinely be a newsreader (Emma: middle class), then there was a whole section where Rosie and Greg talk about how alluring/hot Fiona Bruce is

STUDIO TASK: catapult parachute target

During set up we could see Alex on the side of the stage waiting for everything to be ready, we waved at him from the balcony and he waved back with confused but happy smile

The edge of the target was literally 50cm away from the front row. Front section were warned to 'watch out'

Mark: I wasn't sure I was allowed to mention it being a catapult

*Shadow of a catapult clearly visible through the screen*

Baba tried to shoot one really flat and it flew straight into the audience (3rd row!)

He immediately sat on the losers bench before the others had even gone

Emma's doesn't unfurl and goes 2nd row of the audience

Rosie Vs jack at the end: Rosie playing up the cerebral palsy deliberately to put jack off, stuff like "you wouldn't beat a disabled girl", and "I have cerebral palsy", "I didn't breathe for 17 minutes"

Jack really struggled to get his last shot because he was bent over laughing

It looked like a draw, Greg had to adjudicate

When he called a win for jack, Rosie pretended she was really struggling to walk over to the losers bench

After they'd all been:

Alex: I'm really glad they all flew. In the rehearsals we had loads of crap goes

Greg: How do you feel jack?

Jack: Guilty

Greg: And how do you feel Rosie?

Rosie: *Big fake sad face (which kept breaking)* "...*tiny broken voice* sad :( " *Followed by instant giggles*

TIE BREAK: how many days old will Alex be on Christmas day 2024? Have to be looking into his eyes the whole time

Emma Vs jack, Emma got very close, jack just gave up. Rosie actually got the closest (within 70? Days)

END:

And we've learned that my mum's a slag

We were told it was the first time ever all 5 contestants have won the first 5 episodes

*Contestants leave*

Man with crutches in audience [to rosie]: before this I thought you were so sweet (ominous pause) but now I think you're *wonderful* [Rosie hugged him!]

Greg: we all thought you were going to say something horrible. I was getting ready to put Alex between us

PICKUPS

Greg and Alex do lots of repeats for previous fuck ups and make lots more fuck ups.

*Talking to empty chairs*

Greg keeps apologising for how long it's all taking

Greg: we all want to go home

Greg: We're going to do a physical bit and you're going to absolutely love it. You'll know it when you see it.

*At the end of one of the pickups they both turn in their chairs and look at the blank screen. Audience love it*

Greg gets told by the gallery to repeat ¿papas meat?

Greg:shall I do it sexier? How much sex do you want? 8/10 sex?

Alex: you sound like Rachel

*They do a massive exaggerated turn to the screen*

Greg: I overcooked that one

They repeat the shakespeare bit 2 or 3 times. Greg says every time he's asked to do it again he'll ham it up more.

Alex: I'm really hungry, are you really hungry?

They did some extra "taskmaster the live experience" advertisment filming

Greg notices a really big man in the audience and asks him how tall he is (6'5") and then gets very distracted by his "brethren" and repeatedly flubs his lines

Greg: What are you doing?

Greg: Look at me you grubby little ferret

[This was repeated about 5 times because Greg kept fucking up, and then when he got through it Alex immediately fucked up the next line]

Greg said we were the best audience so far (he also said he wasnt lying or exaggerating. If anyone else has been to one, does he say this to evey audience?)

Got let out at 5pm

[Extra things that I can't remember when they happened]

Alex: When we watch telly together

Greg: ... Because we are actually lovers *puts hand on alex*

Greg: Or so some corners of the internet would have you believe

During breaks, makeup people come in and remove the lint from Greg and Alex's jackets, Alex gets a sticky roller, Greg gets a little brush

They dab Greg's head as well

Greg: I like making people on the internet angry

Overall a delightful day out, 10/10 experience, would recommend!

#taskmaster #kt.txt #taskmaster spoilers #taskmaster s18 #tm s18 #tm s18e5 #greg davies #alex horne #live studio record

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drabblejester · 26 days ago

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good day, mister jester :) I see youre taking request. sicne you yourself are a jester, might i ask how the archons would deal with having their own jester? (making silly jokes, harmless pranks etc) how they acquire said jester is up to you!

how the ARCHONS would treat you as their JESTER!

requested by: wonderful sillay anon!!

parings: all archons & jester!reader

content warnings: none!! just silliness

comments: take this as romantic(NOT FOR NAHIDA) or platonic idc HEEHEE!! this is a splendid ask thank u my liege <3 probably ooc

VENTI:

you’re jester’d by him after he found you on the street, while he was bumbling around drunk. thought you were funny, so he just tagged you along!!

and oooh he LOVES you!!! he writes so many songs for you to dance along to, happily singing and strumming his little lyre while you bust a move

if anything its the both of you that are the jesters… instead of you being in a ‘jester & god’ scenario, its more of a ‘jester & jester’ thing. you tell eachother jokes, sing with eachother, etc! and after yall have fun, you lay down in the grass together and snooze :3

ZHONGLI:

you’re jester’d by him after one of the millith recommend you to him, saying many good things about you and your antics!!! he meets you in person and it goes well!!

despite his strong and gentle demeanor, he will giggle and watch you happily. in fact, he actually HELPS you pull off pranks. ranging from replacing all of venti’s sugar with salt, painting on the hull of beidou’s ship, or snatching masks from fatuus, you’re having fun alongside him sometimes!!!

he treats you super well, lavishing you with yummy treats and delicious tea. he makes a little room for you somewhere in the inn, and always makes sure you’re happy and well taken care of.

RAIDEN:

you’re jester’d by her after miss sara almost puts you in jail. thankfully, your silly demeanor and joyous attitude captivated her. so you get to go free! as long as you can provide her some entertainment sometimes.

she actually doesn’t have you entertain her that often, just kinda keeps you around like a cool rock. more often, you’ll find yourself entertaining her guards and her loyal followers instead. which is still nice!

she’ll try her best to take care of you, but ultimately ends up just plopping you in the hands of the people she trusts. she isn’t too fond of your pranks but she loves your performances, so you’re equipped with props and costumes :3

NAHIDA:

you’re jester’d by her after you were grabbed by the scruff by a forest ranger, gently being ushered back into the city like a lost cat. which you might as well be! she saw you, you told her a few jokes and gave her some candy, and she got somewhat attached

she really likes your jokes!!! simple puns only, and the occasional riddle. a lot of the time, she’d actually be telling YOU riddles! sadly they’re very hard to figure out so good luck. you get to teach her about certain jokes but you have to explain the punchlines 50% of the time

life with her is very simple, she holds you as an equal (maybe even as a sibling figure?) unlike other archons like raiden or mavuika. you entertain her, and she entertains you! like a nice equal exchange of knowledge in the form of silly jokes.

FURINA:

you’re jester’d after being caught by the guardes for breaking some obscure law, probably related to a prank you pulled. you’re dragged into court (which breaks your silly heart…), furina sees you, and VERRYY dramatically calls for a halt. she runs away with you(and neuvillette on your tail).

she treats you like a secret, not in a weird way but in a.. whispers to you to go and check out the magazine selection and sends you off like her personal little scarab. it’s very obvious you two are hanging out because BOTH of you became 10x more dramatic, but she refuses everything.

your living situation is like roommates, despite her holding some power over you. neuvillette insisted that you get a separate apartment but you both complained enough to where you got to stay hanging out. you’re like best friends!! you eat sweets together, hang out, etc. she even teaches you some of her super secret acting techniques!!!

MAVUIKA:

you’re jester’d after you become hopelessly lost in natlan, miserably jingling across the floor, and winding up in a family of saurians. she finds you all sad and weeping and ue ue ue, and takes you in like a little baby birdie.

actually, you don’t do much entertaining with her! when you do, it’s usually her trying to train you to become strong. thankfully your little kicks and sad punches don’t do much to her. so to cheer you up, she lets you tell her riddles and stories and jokes. turns out she is a SUCKER for puns.

you get to hang out in natlan wherever you want, like tossing a bird in the air and letting it fly away for a bit. your best nap spot is in a very cramped little cave, all cozied up with one blanket to make the edges less sharp. surprisingly it’s very cozy! you can even curl up above on the rocks like a lizard!!!!

TSARITSA:

you’re jester’d by her after a few fatuus find you all sad and wet in the city, jingling about and being a general disturbance to the peace (as god intended). you’re dragged all the way to the palace, to get judged. you’re not put in as a harbinger but you get to be a fool one way or another!

speaking of harbingers, they either love you or hate you. the tsaritsa will always ensure your safety from the weirdness of dottore and the edginess of signora, but you can’t help but be a little upset by them. she’ll wipe your tears and allow you to dance around the palace to help you feel better :3

you get free reign over the palace whether the harbingers like it or not. curled up on lab tables, hunched under chairs, maybe stealing a fatuu grunt’s bed, etc. and they don’t get to say anything bad about you because you’re the tsaritsa’s special little jester! pierro is still upset that you stole his cool nickname though

eat up my liege… leave no crumbs either. i just swept the floor

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wideeyedloner · 3 months ago

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I've seen so many posts talking about the Honda scene being a visual metaphor for Deadpool and Wolverine having sex that I want to talk about the film as a whole for a second:

Deadpool & Wolverine is a romantic comedy.

There are a bunch of places (including this one) that describe the format of a romantic comedy, but the basic beats are as follows:

1. Introduction to your protagonist "Okay, Peanut, guess we're getting that team-up, after all." Deadpool and Wolverine opens on Wade digging up Logan's remains from Logan (2017).

2. The inciting incident "I'll do it." Paradox kidnaps Wade and blackmails him into locating a Logan to save his timeline. Cue "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls, featured in City of Angels (1998).

3. The meet-cute "You two going to fuck or fight?" After initially failing to resurrect his own timeline's Logan, Wade travels to several other timelines to find another in a montage set to Huey Lewis and the News' "The Power of Love".

4. The new reality/new world "Let's fuckin' go." Paradox sends them to the Void, ruled by Xavier's insane twin sister, where it turns out many other mutants have also been sent. They need to escape in order to save Wade's timeline and try to undo the events of Logan's timeline, which Wade has promised is possible. This requires them to work together.

5. The mirror moment/recommitment "I'm going to fight you now." Logan finds out that Wade lied to him in order to secure his cooperation, leading to the Honda fight scene set to "You're The One That I Want" from Grease (1978). Logan is demoralized but Laura convinces him that he's still needed. He really is; it's his compassion that convinces Cassandra not only to spare their lives, but to send them back to Wade's timeline if they're willing to take a leap of faith together.

6. The crisis/all is lost "They do not play nicely with each other." Cassandra is still insane, so she follows them because she'd like to eliminate all timelines and rule over everyone in the Void. To stop this, Paradox tells Wade and Logan that someone has to cut power to the device she's using at the guaranteed expense of their life.

7. The climax "I got nothin'. Give me this." Naturally, Wade and Logan fight over which one gets the privilege of sacrificing himself for the other. Logan initially wins him over with a heartfelt speech, but Wade gets Logan with a sneak attack. Wade struggles to make the connection between the terminals because they're further apart than the wingspan of a single human, but they're conveniently just the right size for two (ಥㅅಥ). Of course, the choir version of Madonna's "Like A Prayer" is playing here.

This scene encapsulated everything I enjoyed about this film: that it was stupid, emotional, action-filled, filthy, and obviously about romance between men. My husband is straight and he left the theater with me in full agreement that a) this was a romantic comedy and b) they had sex in in the Honda.

8. The resolution "Althea, this is--this is Logan." It's the end of the story, they're about to part ways, and Wade will never see Logan again if he lets him walk out of his life. So he takes Logan home and makes him part of the world he'd been telling Logan he'd been trying to save all movie long.

❤ The end ❤

The Soundtrack I can't tell you how excited I was about the soundtrack. It's full of old, romantic songs. "Only You (And You Alone)" has to be on like every doo-wop or "Best of the '50s" compilation album. "Iris" (oh god this song is old now) was featured in the romantic drama City of Angels. Everyone and their dog has covered "You Belong to Me", and the most famous recent cover has to be Jason Wade's version that was featured in Shrek (2001). Chris De Burgh may not be crazy about "The Lady in Red", but I think it's fucking sweet. I grew up on musicals and LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE "You're the One That I Want" from Grease (1978).

The Honda Odyssey Fight Scene I wanted to come back to this because there is so much to it. I'm bringing up "You're the One That I Want" again.

There are intentional parallels made between this dance number in Grease and the fight scene. It's about the flirtatious push and pull between Sandy and Danny throughout after she's made her superficial transformation into the 'bad girl' at the end of the movie. It's the same in the Odyssey between Logan and Wade. They throw each other in and out of the car as they fight (and sure, go in and out of each other).

Just look at this:

Yup, completely intentional visual metaphors for fucking galore. Logan and Wade even have a post-fight bondage scene.

Also! These scenes end with the couples in moving vehicles.

In conclusion: Deadpool & Wolverine is a violent romantic comedy. Of course they fucked.

#TLDR; they fucked #not that shipping requires validation #deadpool & wolverine #deadpool and wolverine #the honda odyssey #deadpool #the honda hatefuck #wade wilson #logan howlett #grease #wolverine #grease movie #fandom blathering #i am literally insane typing this at 1:30am #deadpool & wolverine spoilers #gif

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the-thing-inside-your-closet · 2 months ago

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Prompts I’ve seen/found online that I have used an inspiration for many things, but mainly DP X DC stuff.

There’s 200 prompts/quotes in there

1. They match each other’s freak to a degree that is dangerous to the public.

2. People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

3. “I have a solution.”

“Thank goodness.”

“It involves fire.”

“Absolutely not.”

4. Why are you hiding behind me? What did you do?

5. We can’t have a crisis - my schedule is already full!

6. “What’s our exit strategy?”

“Our what?”

“We’re all going to die.”

7. That is a terrible, horrible, incredibly foolish idea. Let’s do it and see what happens.

8. “This coffee tastes weird.”

“That’s probably because it’s not coffee.”

9. “Can I bother you for a second?”

“You always bother me, but go ahead.”

10. “Are you mad?”

“No.”

“So sharpening knives at 2am is just a hobby?”

11. I’m going to give my inner child a gun.

12. Your inability to learn complicated handshakes is tearing this gang apart.

13. I get so affectionate when I’m sleepy it’s disgusting.

14. Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of the night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.

15. No offence to myself or anything but what the fuck am I doing.

16. I would love to be mysterious but I never shut the fuck up.

17. The divorce rate amongst my socks is astonishing.

18. Adulthood is a scam I want to be a crow.

19. Good morning! God has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everybody’s problem.

20. My house is haunted because I live there.

21. That’s my emotional support entity of questionable moral standing.

22. God released me into the wild and now he’s hunting me for sport.

23. No, no you don’t want to get to know me, I’m better as a concept.

24. I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

25. Do birds every just fly for fun or are they always on some kind of mission?

26. The older I get the more I understand why roosters scream to start their day.

27. ‘You’ll understand when you’re older.’ I am older and I understand absolutely nothing.

28. Source? It was revealed to me in a delusion.

29. Why do drugs after 30 when you can just stand up too fast?

30. I won’t ever be the bigger person in an argument. God made me 5’ for a reason.

31. This meeting could have been a fist fight.

32. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m never going to have a midlife crisis because my entire fucking life is a crisis.

33. Anyone fancy going off the fucking rails with me I’ve had enough.

34. Go ahead and get in the pond since you wanna act like a silly goose.

35. My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes.

36. Who the fuck decided to call it ‘emotional baggage’ and not ‘griefcase?’

37. I don’t have a nervous system. I am a nervous system.

38. “What makes us human?”

“Selecting all of the images with traffic lights.”

39. Don’t let anyone else ruin your day. It’s your day. Ruin it yourself.

40. The sixth love language is combat.

41. “I just told you 2 minutes ago.”

“I do not control the remember.”

42. Due to not wanting to. I will not be.

43. My flabbers be gasted daily.

44. “Are you seeing anyone?”

“Like a hallucination, a therapist, or a person?”

45. “You’re the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met.”

“Thank you I try my best.”

46. I tried to embrace my inner child today and the little asshole bit me.

47. I think my dark under eye circles are adding to the aesthetic actually.

48. Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot.

49. Next time I’m opening up to someone will be at my autopsy.

50. Too many songs about love. Not enough song about sword fights.

51. “You’re cute.”

“I’m feral and chaotic, don’t touch me.”

52. I’m not as unhinged as I could be and I want everyone to be great full for that.

53. How dare you know stuff about things.

54. “I have a plan.”

“Is it a good one?”

“I have a plan.”

55. “Are you decent?”

“Not morally, but I’m wearing pants if that’s what you’re asking.”

56. I may have the right to remain silent but I do not have the ability.

57. I don’t want to look ‘pretty.’ I want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening.

58. If you ever feel safe please remember that I’m out there.

59. “I’m too good for revenge.”

“Well I’m not. Give me the gun.”

60. “You know I really feel like we aren’t seeing eye to eye.

“It’s because you’re taller than me asshole.”

61. “They rely on you.”

“I can’t be blamed for their lack of judgment..”

62. Well, aren’t you a little Ray of pitch black.

63. I can get behind murder but I draw the line at misogyny.

64. In my defence your honour, I simply do not vibe with the law.

65. Life is a tornado and I’m just the cow being spun around for cinematic value.

66. You can burn all the sage you want, I’ll be back.

67. I believe in holding grudges. I’ll heal in hell.

68. You know…they make medication for the way you act.

69. I like men with massive, throbbing vocabularies.

70. My swear jar could finance the fucking space program.

71. “Well if you want my opinion-”

“I don’t. I have my own.”

72. I’m awake but not operational.

73. Due to personal reasons I’ll be going back to sleep.

74. The bags under my eyes are Prada.

75. I identify as a threat. My pronouns are try/me.

76. Audacity must be on sale this year…

77. “Have you ever been handcuffed?”

“Sexually or by law enforcement?”

78. I don’t like salad or eye contact.

79. “Come here.”

“Why?”

“Just come here.”

“No you’re gonna hit me!”

80. “I didn’t catch your name.”

“I didn’t throw it.”

81. I have to keep reminding myself that I am an adult and will be charged as one.

82. Apparently ‘spite’ is not an appropriate answer to ‘what motives you?’

83. There is a fine line between my crazy and my intelligence. I use that line like a jump rope.

84. I don’t know where you got your opinion but I hope you kept the receipt.

85. Sometimes when I close my eyes…I can’t see.

86. Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?

87. Some days the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.

88. I’m running out of reasons to not stab you.

89. When I said ‘how stupid can you be?’ It wasn’t a challenge.

90. Love at first sight? Tired, boring. Love at first assassination attempt? Spicy.

91. I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barley take suggestions.

92. And that’s a wrap on another day where I acted like I knew what I was doing.

93. Now if you’ll excuse me…tonight’s bad decision isn’t going to make itself.

94. I take super hot showers to practice burning in hell.

95. I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

96. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.

97. Being an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.

98. If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

99. My spirit animal would fucking eat yours.

100. Some people will only like you if you fit inside their box. Don’t be afraid to shove that box up their ass.

101. I wonder if people look both ways before getting on my fucking nerves.

102. If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on.

103. Giving a fuck doesn’t really go with my outfit.

104. I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.

105. Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list.

106. And then I decided to take a detour to deliver an ass beating.

107. I wanna contribute to the chaos.

108. I’m gay and also stronger than all of you. So don’t try any shit.

109. With all due respect, which is none

110. What, pray tell, the fuck?

111. My arson charges don’t define me.

112. Those are bold words for someone in stabbing range.

113. I don’t understand your specific kind of crazy but I do admire your total commitment to it.

114. I am not above slashing my own tires to avoid going to this family brunch.

115. I don’t want to heal my inner child I want them to get revenge.

116. In order to insult me I must first value your opinion. Nice try though.

117. There’s someone for everyone and the person for you is a psychiatrist.

118. Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you’ll find a brain back there.

119. I think my guardian angel drinks.

120. In my defence, I was left unsupervised.

121. I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

122. If you figure me out I want an explanation.

123. I don’t think I meet the height requirements to ride your emotional roller coaster.

124. When killing them with kindness doesn’t work, try voodoo.

125. Another fine day ruined by responsibility.

126. You call them swear words. I call them sentence enhancers.

127. Stop petting my peeves.

128. What a year this week has been.

129. Don’t follow me I don’t know where I’m going.

130. Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am awake.

131. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

132. Please don’t interrupt me while I’m ignoring you.

133. Everyone has the right to be stupid but you’re abusing the privilege.

134. I just know I will die trying to pet something I shouldn’t.

135. At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I’d just go.

136. I told him to take care of his eyes because they’re the only balls he has.

137. The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

138. My last words will probably be sarcastic.

139. We don’t have time to unpack all that.

140. I may have committed light treason.

141. How is ‘pretty boy’ supposed to be an insult? I’m the prettiest goddamn boy in this town.

142. I’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual.

143. “Based on statistical evidence, I’m immortal.”

“How so?”

“Haven’t died yet.”

144. I’m just here to establish an alibi.

145. Take the day off from being the bigger person and choose violence, you deserve it.

146. Forgive and forget? I’m neither Jesus nor do I have alzheimers.

147. People are so ungrateful. No one ever thanks me for having the patience to not kill them.

148. “I can see your bra.”

“Fucking good it was expensive.”

149. Sir, that’s my emotional support knife collection.

150. My idea of ‘help from above’ is a sniper on the roof.

151. “We’re surrounded!”

“Excellent, we can attack in any direction!

152. Lord give me patience or an untractable handgun.

153. Step back! I’m a professional idiot!

154. “Trust your gut.”

“I have anxiety. My gut is always telling me to abort mission.”

155. Keep your morals away from me.

156. Your existence gives me a headache go stand over there.

157. What, from the bottom of my heart, the fuck?

158. My heart is not a home for cowards.

159. Underestimate me so I can embarrass you.

160. “It’ll be easy. You just have to seduce them.”

“You’re kidding, right? I’m about as seductive as a cabbage.”

161. You’ve got heart, kid. Several hearts. Honestly, I’m a little scared of you.

162. It takes a very special kind of idiot to pull off what you just did.

163. I’m no doctor - but I think he’s dead.

164. I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.

165. “What brings you here?”

“A continuum of terrible choices.”

“You’d be surprised to know how often people say that.”

166. “I thought we agreed to tell each other when we were bleeding internally.”

“That’s a very specific promise I don’t remember making.”

167. “Did you really google how to flirt with a girl?”

“What? How’d you know that?”

“You do realise there’s a search history?”

168. “I’m gonna…”

“If you kick down the door, I swear…”

“I’M GONNA PUNCH IT WITH MY FOOT!”

169. “Is it still murder if I give them a heads up?”

“That’s a threat.”

“Damn.”

170. Surprise! I’m back from the dead! Isn’t that exciting?

171. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner, having another existential crisis.

172. I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

173. You’re important to me you piece of shit.

174. “Why are your hands purple?”

“That’s a very good question.”

175. Can someone turn off the sun please?

176. “I had a thought.”

“Oh no.”

“I swear it’s a good one this time!”

177. I’ve met bread smarter than you.

178. “Please stop getting shot, it stresses me out.”

“Oh, well if YOU don’t like it.”

179. Dude, we are not asking the dragon for directions.

180. You’ve got as much charm as a dead slug.

181. For you, I could steal the stars - but I can also get them through legitimate means, if that impresses you more.

182. I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

183. You smile like an idiot when you’re talking to them.

184. Don’t you sign to me in that tone.

185. Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.

186. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Don’t care. Shut up.”

187. Now that I made it weird, I’m going to make my exit.

188. So uh, I noticed you’re kinda naked. Is that intentional or…?

189. “Do you trust me?”

“No.”

“Smart man.”

190. Well, if you’d woken up properly the first time I kicked you, I wouldn’t have had to do it four more times.

191. “I have NEVER been so insulted.”

“You don’t listen much, do you?”

192. “Don’t you know who I am?”

“Yup. I just don’t care.”

193. I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into. I just thought it would be amusing.

194. I would tell you to be yourself but that almost got us killed last time.

195. “Why aren’t you worshipping me, mortal?”

“Not interested. Thanks.”

196. “I’d rather be dead.”

“Then I have some good news for you.”

197. “Did you hear that scream?”

“Yes, I’m the one who screamed.”

198. “What happened to your-”

“I lost a bet.”

“Why-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

199. Reading way above my grade level didn’t get me as far in life as I had hoped.

200. Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

#writing prompts #prompts #I found a lot of these online so I’m not 100% sure of many of their sources #dp x dc #dc x dp #dpxdc #dcxdp

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universalitgirlsblog2 · 1 year ago

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💗🩰IT GIRL YOUTUBERS🩰💗

1) Persephonesmind ( Mindset )

Alessia has really great content on developing a postive and strong mindset. She is so underrated . She speaks softly , if you prefer someone who is more compassionate while speaking then her videos are really good for you !

2) Simonesquared ( Mindset , manifestation, self improvement )

Simone has two channels - one is simonessquared & other one is simmonesimmo . She has everything , she posted some videos related to manifestation, rewiring subconscious mind , study tips , mindset etc . She is so funny which makes her entertaining too !!

3) Lana Blakely( Mindset )

Lana has really amazing tips on developing self love , healthy habits , relationships etc . Her voice is really comforting , her videos will help you alot !

4) Daiz /Daisy Choii ( Productivity )

Discovering her was a blessing ! She posts vlogs related to studying, organizing her desks , travelling , room makeover etc. She will motivate you to become more productive .

5) Saranghoe ( Productivity )

She posts vlogs regarding morning & night routines ,studying , organizing her room etc .She is another youtube who will help you to romanticize your life & motivate you to be more productive .

6) Yoora Jung ( Productivity )

I love Yoora so much ! She posts vlogs regarding studying, working out , travelling etc. She will motivate you to study harder , be more productive & romanticize your life.

7) Princess Jess ( Wonyoungism , Productivity )

Princess Jess is so wonyoung coded and I love it ! She is so underrated, If you don't know her , please check her videos out ! She has great content on wonyoungism . She posts videos regarding weight loss tips ,morning & night routines inspired by Wonyoung , Wonyoung essentials , style inspired by Wonyoung.

8) Best dressed ( Fashion , Vlogs )

She posts videos regarding fashion & her favorite movies , vlogs related to traveling , apartment makeover etc . My favorite video of hers is 50 outfits when you have nothing to wear . Do check her channel out !

9) DN. Beauty Natural ( Health , beauty )

This channel is pretty underrated , it deserves more . They have great exercises for both your face & body . They will help you get your dream body & enhance your natural beauty !

10 ) Emi Wong ( Health )

Emi has good exercises related to weight loss , getting a good posture etc. She also has kpop workouts( most of them are on blackpink songs )

11) Mish Choi (Health )

She has amazing workouts inspired by kpop idols. My favorite workout of her is the Blackpink Jennie pilates & IU yoga .

12) Hina fit ( Health )

She also has amazing workouts inspired by kpop idols & on kpop songs too.

13) Chloe Ting ( Health )

Chloe is a life saver. She posts videos related to workouts, healthy recipes , results from her workouts , house tour etc.

14) Study to Success ( Academics )

I love her aesthetic,she has great tips on how to become that student , how to study when you are tired , romantizing school etc. She also posts study vlogs and morning & night routines.

15) Study quill ( Academics )

She not only gives tips on studying but she has videos on self care , Journaling , dorm tour etc.

💗🩰I wasn't able to mention all youtubers in the last post so I had to post another part . I hope this post helped you. Please remember to consume content that makes you feel good & helps you become your best version. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF , LOVE YOURSELF & PROTECT YOUR ENERGY.💗🩰

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cottonlemonade · 7 months ago

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The One That Got Away

word count: 1153 || avg. reading time: 5 mins.

pairing: post-time skip ex-boyfriend!Iwaizumi x chubby!Reader (feat. Seijoh 4)

genre: fluff, exes to lovers

warnings: spoilers, like one suggestive line

synopsis: Upon his return to Japan Hajime runs into his ex. Although the breakup was necessary and with no hard feelings, Hajime has never been able to get over you.

In an attempt to show off some more impressive, foreign cooking skills he had picked up in California, Hajime decided to make spaghetti, and so typed up a list before grocery shopping, double and triple checking to make sure he had everything. For a while there he had thought back and forth about the appropriateness of just inviting you over like that. When he met you at a café earlier this week he first thought he was hallucinating. But when you felt his stare as you were waiting in line for your drink you recognized him instantly and struck up a conversation - asking how he had been and what it was like to be a high profile trainer for the national team. Had you kept up with him like he had with you? During his time abroad, whenever he felt homesick he would check what his friends were up to and ultimately his social media scrolling always brought him back to you. Seeing you doing so well at your job and enjoying evenings out with your friends made him happy. And his heart always skipped a beat when you posted a short video and he could see you smile and hear you talk and laugh and he could pretend he was there with you. It was one of the hardest decisions of his life to break it off with you even though it had been ridiculously amicable. Every once in a while he had been tempted to text you, ask you how you were and if you missed him even just a fraction as much as he missed you. So without thinking, that Tuesday at the café he had asked if you’d like to come to dinner at his place to catch up. At that moment he thought it sounded too forward, just inviting you to his apartment rather than take you to a nice restaurant. Maybe even your favorite from back when you were dating. But you had beamed and agreed.

And tonight he would be alone with you at his place. The thought sent a strange tingle through his body. But he wasn't intending to do anything so there was nothing to be scandalized about. You were two adults having dinner and talking. He ignored Matsukawa’s text with a link to his Best Make Out Playlist, shaking his head at the mental image it planted and instead concentrated on finding the right wine.

After grocery shopping he went to pick up dessert at a bakery he remembered you loved and drove home to get ready.

Training that morning had been very chaotic. Not only did Matsukawa and Hanamaki accompany him and hadn‘t stopped wanting to role play different romantic scenarios as Hajime was stretching but even worse they ganged up on him and only too readily tried to give him advice on the art of seduction. The further along their gym session went, the more they began making unnecessary kissing noises whenever the lyrics of the songs playing over the speakers were getting suggestive.

"You might wanna…"

Hajime looked down on himself to where Oikawa was gesturing and zipped up his jeans. His friend was in Japan for a few weeks to visit his family.

Leaning in the door frame, his former captain had only made one “helpful” comment after the other since he was in a successful relationship that was already going almost 50 days (and thus deemed himself a love expert), while he - Hajime - hadn't been in a relationship in years.

"You want me to stay here? Break the ice? Talk you up?"

Hajime glared at him in the mirror.

"Alright alright, didn't say anything. Can you drop me off somewhere before she gets here?"

The younger one sighed and threw a sharp look at his friend.

"You know, somehow I don't believe a national player is that broke that he can‘t afford a taxi."

Oikawa quickly put on a hurt expression then switched topics.

“Who are you meeting anyway? Anyone I know?”

Hajime avoided his eyes and Oikawa grinned as the realization hit.

“Y/n-chan?”, he teased.

Hajime didn’t respond, just took off his shirt and tried on a different one.

“Well, I gotta hand it to you, Iwa-chan. You really are playing the long game.”

“Shut up.”

Oikawa did, in fact, not shut up.

“It’s been what? 10 years since High School and you’re still not over her?”

“I told you to shut up, Shittykawa.”

“But this is too much fun. Have you been pining for her this whole time? Did you keep in contact after graduation? - She was so chubby in High School, it was really cute. Is she still chubby? Gotta make things fun when you’re alone. You can really hold on there while -“

“Go back to your hotel.”

Oikawa gasped, theatrically.

“I’m only here for two more weeks, Iwa-chan. Don’t you wanna spend time with me?“

Hajime closed his bedroom door and heard a satisfying bonk when the wood hit his friend‘s face.

__________

You felt Hajime brush a kiss to your shoulder and his arm snake around your tummy. Letting out a sleepy, raspy-voiced Good Morning he buried his face in the crook of your neck and breathed you in.

You turned to face him, blanket rustling, and snuggled your barely dressed form against his. Interlacing his fingers with yours he brought your wrist to his lips.

He rolled you onto your back so he was now on top of you, taking in this much adored sight before him with a dreamy expression. Then he sank lower to press a handful of sweet kisses against your forehead, nose, cheeks and lips before settling down with his head resting on your chest, ready for another round of snoozing. He made a happy sort of grumble when you played with his hair.

For a while you laid there in content silence, brimming with happiness, then a series of dings came from the nightstand. They were only a few at first, far enough apart for Hajime to ignore them. But when they grew in frequency he asked you to hand him his phone.

“Something important? Do you have to go?”, you asked, really hoping the answer would be No.

“Ugh, it’s just the others. They wanna know how our dinner went.”

You giggled. “Well…”

Hajime chuckled too, hugging you tighter with his free arm, while the other quickly scanned the increasingly annoying texts of his friends.

He typed a few words, then dropped the phone next to you, propping himself up to kiss you again.

The message pings now blew up, barely leaving a few seconds in between.

“Oh my god!”, he groaned, his lips against your neck, “Tell them to leave me alone.”

He didn’t stop kissing you when you reached for his phone. You didn’t bother reading all the incoming messages. You just wrote “he’s busy” and turned it to silent.

a/n: He 100% used that playlist but will never admit it.

#iwaizumi hajime x chubby reader #haikyuu x chubby reader #iwaizumi x chubby reader #chubby reader #haikyuu fluff #iwaizumi haijime x reader #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi fluff #hq iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x curvy reader

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rwrbmovie · 1 year ago

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BTS of #RWRBMovie: NYE kiss

via Consequence:

It was important for Henry to be the grab-and-kiss-er in this scenario, Lopez says, because “there’s something very striking about a character such as Henry, who has spent up to that point in the film being very buttoned down and seemingly in control of his urges in that moment, losing the ability to control his urges and give into the desire to kiss Alex.” Plus, there’s the additional context of Henry being literal royalty: “There’s something very sexy and romantic about a prince dropping his guard. And taking things that are old movie tropes and letting two boys do it — that was definitely the romantic gesture that we wanted to go for.” Of course, on a practical level, the grab-and-kiss has certain practical elements to consider. “The only danger on set was that sometimes [Nicholas Galitzine] would come at [Taylor Zakhar Perez] so forcefully that they would just bang faces. We were really worried about fat lips and bloody noses,” he laughs. It wasn’t just the passion of the actors that was an issue, but the terrain — according to Lopez, “they were on a slope. So Nick was going downhill.” (Passion with a little help from Newtonian physics.) On set for this as well as the film’s other, more graphic scenes was intimacy coordinator Robbie Taylor Hunt, who oversaw shooting the kiss in two different ways: “We had one where Alex is completely taken by surprise and doesn’t respond to the kiss. And then we did Version B, where Alex is taken by surprise and then does respond to the kiss. Because I wasn’t quite sure what was going to work, so I gave myself the option of having both.” Process-wise, this meant rehearsing both versions and then shooting different angles and framings, which means “those lads kissed easily like 40 or 50 times that night,” Lopez laughs. “There’s nothing like having to kiss someone 40 times in a row to really, really take the allure out of kissing.”

While the grab-and-kiss is the best term I’ve been able to come up with for this maneuver, it’s not my favorite — if only because if you Google the phrase “grab and kiss” today, the search term pulls up very unsexy results. These unsexy results (including phrases like “attempted sexual assault” and “Donald Trump”) do serve as a necessary reminder of how delicate a balance one has to strike with this particular maneuver. As Lopez puts it, “there is a gray area and I think you see it in some older movies, in which they do the grab-and-kiss and it’s icky — it just feels not consensual at all, or very uncomfortable.” What’s so powerful about the grab-and-kiss is that it’s an embrace with purpose. There’s a backstory to it, usually one involving repressed emotions and deeply held longing. That was the strategy Lopez used with Red, White & Royal Blue, using the scenes leading up to the kiss beneath the tree to emphasize “the pull between them.” (Specifically, Lopez got what he calls his “West Side Story moment” during the New Year’s party, when a crowd dancing to Lil Jon’s “Get Low” does as instructed by the song, leaving a still-standing Henry and Alex to gaze at each other across the dance floor.)

#rwrbedit #rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #rwrbsource #nicholas galitzine #taylor zakhar perez #rwrb bts #bts #*#my stuff #gifs #rwrbbts #nye

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a-kind-of-merry-war · 6 months ago

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can you recommend your favourite queer historical/fantasy novels or series for me?? desperate for some new books to read 🙏

Anon I'm so mad, I had a couple of rec lists floating around but what do you know, tumblr has eaten them!! So I'm putting together a new one for you. I should pin this somewhere really.

Queer historical romances

Anything by Cat Sebastian. Seriously. Anything. My personal favourite series is "Seducing the Sedgwicks", and her two most recent 50s-set books are both exceptional.

Equally, anything by KJ Charles. Again, they're all brilliant, so it doesn't really matter where you start. I really liked Band Sinister.

Olivia Waite does lovely f/f historical romances. I really enjoyed The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics.

Sebastian Nothwell (hello @nothwell) writes brilliant historical romances (and also has a couple of fantasy romances too). Planning a re-read of some of his when I've actually got time 😅

Solomon's Crown by Natasha Siegel, loved this one a lot

The Gentleman's Book of Vices by Jess Everlee (there's a f/f sequel coming out soon!)

Queer fantasy romance

I am utterly obsessed with A Strange and Stubborn Endurance by Foz Meadows. I loved it. It's like it was crafted just for me. Also, the sequel just came out!

A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland, SO indulgent and tropey and fun, I had a blast reading it. (hello @ariaste). Also, Alexandra's next book is about to come out - it's called Running Close to the Wind and its about PIRATES. YES.

The Last Binding series by Freya Marske. Absolute best of the best. Everyone loves them.

(See also, Swordcrossed, also by Freya Marske, coming out later this year)

Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh. Short, sweet, and engrossing. Finishing this book is like stepping into sunlight for the first time after being lost in the woods for hours.

Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. It's a classic for a reason.

Queer fantasy/sci-fi with romantic elements, but isn't a straight-up romance

Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune. I cried.

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree, extremely cosy domestic fantasy in the traditional D&D style, about an orc who sets up a coffee shop.

A Botanical Daughter by Noah Medlock. Frankenstein-style horror but with queer people and plants. More horror than fantasty, tbh.

Our Hideous Progeny by C E McGill (waving at @c-e-mcgill) is classic gothic horror/sci-fi, but this one is Frankenstein but with dinosaurs. And queer people. Very light background romance. Loved it.

OH WAIT ETA: What Manner of Man by @stjohnstarling - not sure if this fits your needs as its more horror romance than anything else, but its basically "dracula, but gay", and it's very good.

#ok im sure theres some ive missed but #TA-DA #hopefully theres some on here that are new to you!#queer books #books #book recs

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respectthepetty · 2 months ago

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The Loyal Pin - Episode 9

I love that this episode started with one color-coded brother being so happy after a night of partying.

And the other one losing his color because he is internally freaking out trying to convince himself that Anin basically had sex with her best friend on the lawn for everyone and God to see because she was drunk. Keep telling yourself that lie, dear brother. I used that excuse in college too. Alcohol just makes people gay . . . er. Sure, Jan.

But we all know Anin is sexing up her girlfriend, SOBER, so now it's time for a color-coded beach trip, so TV can lie to us again that sex in the sand is romantic and not torturous. However, the skin is awfully soft after rolling around it in for a bit, so I guess beach sex has its perks beyond, you know, it being sex.

But the heteros do not understand the queer agenda and immediately start wrecking Pink Person Pin and Blue Beauty Anin's beach sex plans.

However, Ueangfah is color-coded yellow, and Pranot is in shorts, so even though it's looking bad for the lesbians, the bisexuals are thriving, and the bisexuals are ME!

Shesus Christ! Nevermind, nobody is doing well now that Kuea has shown up IN BLUE! This is actually why I stopped writing this recap because I was livid when I saw this mediocre man wearing Anin's color. The audacity of a cis hetero man will never stop amazing me. It's cool that he picked up that Pin likes her love interest in blue but he missed one important factor in that equation. HE NEEDS TO BE A GIRL! All that money, yet he can't buy a damn clue.

Yet the girls are still trying to Live, Laugh, and Love under these terrible color-coded conditions!

But Aon is playing these color-coded games too in order to get Anin's attention and wearing versions of pink and purple throughout the trip. Basically the love rivals are waging a strategic color-coded war, and if I wasn't so pissed off at them, I'd be really proud of the wardrobe department for acing this assignment and earning its paycheck.

But I AM pissed because these rivals are doing the most to get in between the ladies and make color-coded fetch happen when IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN, GRETCHEN!

One of them even decides to go as far as DROWNING to get attention! This is like the extreme version of "instigating a fight so his hands can be on you" but because we are dealing with lesbians it's "drowning in the beach trip so her lips can be on you." And I know she didn't do it on purpose, but the structural sexism in this scene with all the men refusing to give her CPR because it wasn't proper is why feminism is for EVERYONE! There is nothing inherently sexual about lips touching lips, yet even when SAVING A LIFE, everyone made that shit sexual (INCLUDING PIN!) and I'm looking at a show set in the 50s (60s?) and feeling like it's about 2024, so now I'm pissed about it.

And this is how I know Aon is not showing her true colors because unlike everyone else who has a consistent color, she is flip flopping like those fish she almost drowned with in the water.

But it doesn't matter because now that Aon is out of commission, the girls can get a moment together to try to make beach sex happen. Spoiler: It doesn't happen because Pia is not about that "Be Gay, Do Crime" life (fun fact: public sex on a beach is illegal in most places, like Thailand).

Which means the beach sex is on hold AGAIN because the color-coded brothers must make sure they throw a party (which Pranot does not plan and it's probably why everyone hates it!), and it also means that the love rivals are at it again with the color-coded shenanigans starting with Aon, in purple.

And now Kuea enters in blue.

But my sunshine Ueangfah is looking hella fine and doing her best to bring a smile to Anin's face who is pressed that Pink Person Pin is dancing with Kuea even though it was her own color-coded brother WHO IS A PRINCE that keeps forcing Pin to do this little song-and-dance, literally. I'm gonna grab my girl Ueangfah and head out because she deserves better and by 'better,' I mean me.

Pranot is judging this entire shitshow safely from his seat because 1) he did not plan any of this so this is not his shitshow, and 2) unlike these other men, he knows better than to get in the way of lesbians and beach sex, so he makes sure to keep his ass seated and not ask none of them to dance instead opting to down this awful wine that he knows damn well does not pair well with the food. He is a king among peasants.

But because of the hard work of Prik and Pia, the real VIPs here, the color-coded girls in love finally get beach sex!

AND A PROPOSAL! A sand version of the pink sasa bunny that Anin gave Pin with A 💗 P on it holds the ring that will forever tie Anin to Pin's heart (and will cause them a lot of problems, but those are tomorrow's problem, not today's).

The girls' skin is soft (from beach sex). They are glowing (from beach sex). And they are practically engaged! All is well and they can now live happily ever after.

That is until this Blue Bastard pops back up.

He instantly clocks the ring on Pin's finger and instead of minding his own business, he apparently will make it everyone's problem because the man is determined to marry a lesbian who doesn't love him nor want him, and I am once again standing in front of y'all screaming that feminism benefits everyone including men who think they need a wife to be complete.

Pia and Prik pick up what I'm dropping off, and are backing up their girl in this battle for Pin's hand as they wear blue . . . and orange . . .

And this is where some of y'all really lost your minds because Anin wore yellow thinking it might have been connected to my babygirl Ueangfah, but have no fear because I offered a Wild Ass Theory way back in the second episode.

As the color-coded girls in love age and inherit more adult responsibilities, I think they will incorporate another color.

And those colors are the ones that belong to their mothers.

The girls have been living in a nice little bubble in Pine Palace, but Anin is a princess and Pin is not, so the expectations for their positions in life are coming at them quicker than they want to believe. Pin's mom has mentioned several times that both girls must marry, and Anin's brothers have made similar comments, so even though the girls are growing closer, I think harsh reality is already sneaking into their plans and the colors might be telling us that.

So I think the girls need to be careful or they will turn into the mothers, and because I think Pin's mom is a lesbian who vowed to be the perfect woman rather than love someone else after status tore her and her girlfriend apart, the truth might be closer than I realize, and her color-coded story is similar to the girls in more way than one.

But the colors could all be meaningless, and I could just be crazy. Who knows, you know?

#the colors mean things #the loyal pin #color coded girls in love #episode nine #I screamed when I saw her in yellow #I got theories for days #and I need all of them to be correct #I'm obsessed

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fairyrcts · 3 months ago

Text

BAGS , M.S.

by fairyrcts contents - intended lowercase , use of y/n , cursing , resolved angst , 3rd person

an - first fic !

taglist - @pvssychicken , @gothiccvnt6996 , @emely9274 (header by @issysh3ll )

as y/n walked up to the triplets front door, chris opened it before even giving her a chance to knock.

"well, seems as someone was waiting." she spoke, givng him a face. he rolled his eyes, opening the door to give her room to walk in.

"matt's in his room." chris spoke.

y/n nodded before heading up to see her best friend.

y/n's had feelings for matt since they were in highschool. of course, she'd never do anything to put their friendship in jeopardy, so she kept silent. as much as she wanted to tell him just to put that label on it, she was content with their current friendship. they already acted as if they were in a relationship, but she'd always wondered if it'd be different when they had that label.

she opened the door to matt on his phone. his eyes looked up to the door, his lips forming into a smile as he saw her.

"hey, missy. how are ya?" he asked whilst he sat up.

"exhausted. i was just at the gym for like two hours." she whined before setting her bag down and plopping on his bed next to him. matt grabbed the remoted on his nightstand and turned it on.

"mm, i'm sorry. we can watch one of your movies. those.. indie films or the joseph gorgon-levitt one ya like."

y/n's face lit up at his words. "which one are we talking? don jon? (500) days of summer? mysterious skin? 10 things i hate about you? 50/50? brick?"

her knowledge cause matt to laugh. "i was thinkin (500) days of summer. i never understand that title, theres only like 70 days in summer."

y/n moved up and sat next to him, leaning against the headboard. his lack of knowledge made her roll her eyes. "it's because they spent 500 days together and her name is summer. so the movies is about what he endured the 500 days of knowing summer."

"you're such a cornball" matt's arm slung around her shoulder, pulling her head on his shoulder. he turned on the movies and the room filmed with a comfortable silence.

around 30 minutes into the movie, y/n speaks up. "y'know, i always thought that could be us someday."

her words made matt's breath hitch in his throat.

"what?" he moves himself up and took away his arm from her.

y/n eyes wandered his face, trying to read him.

"y/n you can't just fucking say that." he spoke with his eyebrows furrowed.

"i'm sorry, i didn-"

"no, that's not fucking fair. i just got over you. i spent the entirety of my teenage years loving you and you just now decide you have interest in me? that's bullshit. it took me six years to get over the fact that you weren't interested in me. no matter how many times chris and nick told me no chance, i held out hope. but turning twenty-one made me stop and realize that they're right. i, mentally, cannot deal with the fact that it took me six whole years for me to stop loving you that way, and you just start. i won't."

he was now standing up with tears in his eyes while y/n sat on the bed, her jaw agape.

"matt, i've liked you since we were 17. i never knew you felt that way about me. i never thought you ever would." she said just above a whisper.

"well, get it through your stubborn fucking skull, y/n. my god, this is such bull." he ran a hand through his hair.

"what? matt, what the fuck are you even saying, are you hearing yourself? you're being goddamn selfish. you think this is one-sided?"

"yeah! yeah, i do think it's one sided because you've never once expressed any kind of romantic feelings until that little comment of yours just now!"

y/n was now in tears.

"i- i didn't know how. you didn't either."

matt let out a humorless laugh as he began talking with his hands. "seriously? never? because kissing your hand, your forehead, buying you whatever you want, calling you pet names, listening to every song youve ever asked me to, making you playlists, opening up to you about stuff not even nathan knows about, carrying you around when your feet hurt, giving you all of my hoodies and cuddling with you while i watch an insufferably sad joseph gorgon-levitt film is so platonic?! is that so fucking platonic to you?"

tears started streaming down matthew's face as he spoke with such pent-up emotions. y/n didn't know what to say so she stood there before grabbing her bag and jogging down the stair, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"i'm not fucking finished, y/n!" he yelled down the stairs, but she was already out the door.

she wasted no time getting in her car and driving off.

matt was left standing at the top of the stairs, thoughts running through his head. he smacked a fist against the wall before sliding himself down it, crying his eyes out. chris ran up those stairs, nick following. they hugged him and supported him while he ranted on about what happened.

meanwhile, y/n dangerously drove with tears flowing through her eyes non-stop. when she arrives home, she sat on her couch, wrapping herself in a blanket and cried herself to sleep.

the next morning, she woke up with puffy eyes and very little sleep. notifications flooded her phone, causing her to look up at the lit screen.

matt

i'm sorry.

y/n i'm sorry

did you get home safe?

are you okay?

turn off your fucking dnd

i'm worried about you

please text me when you get this

i didn't mean to lash out

i still love you, y/n.

y/n rubbed her eyes as she read them, the message causing her to cry again. she walked herself to her bathroom and cleaned herself up as she called matt.

"y/n? i know i screwed up. i'm sorry, i'm so sorry. i love you, i never meant to hurt you or say those hurful things, i'm sorry." his words came through the phone speaker rushed and panicked.

"come over. please, i just need you." y/n spoke softly with a sniffle.

"i'll be there in five." hanging up the phone, y.n wiped the mascara that was run down her face, but didn't bother changing into clean clothes. she put on the pajama set she had a few nights before, not caring what matt saw her in. all she knew was that she wanted to be in the arms of her best friend again.

matt walked in without knocking. "y/n?" he spoke as he ran to her.

her arms slung around his waist as his shirt begain filling up with tears. his chin rested on her head and his arms gently ran through her hair.

"you're okay. oh, sweet girl, i'm sorry. please forgive me?"

she nodded her head against his chest before looking up at him. she placed a small kiss to his cheek while he smiled softly.

"do you think we could work this out? that we could be something?"

her words made matt nod immediately. "yes, yes, of course. if it means being with you, yes anything."

her lips formed into a smile and without hesitation, she moved a hand to his cheek and pulled him into a kiss. his lips moved with hers and the world went quiet.

#Spotify #matt sturniolo fanfic #nathan doe #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfic fluff #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #angst #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo fluff #christopher sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo #matthew sturniolo fluff #christopher sturniolo fluff #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo triplets imagines #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo fluff #matt stuniolo fanfic

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andbreakmynose · 3 months ago

Text

Sweet Birthday Baby

you and SIAS alex cleaning up your birthday party leads to unexpected feelings and tension

WORD COUNT: 5k

WARNINGS: smut! unprotected p-in-v, oral (f receiving), praise!! lots of fluff and emotions, light angst, mention of body image

The party, your party, had been nothing spectacular. It was your closet friends taking a day off from recording to drink shitty beers and eat a store bought cake with you. It really wasn’t much at all but it meant a lot that they still cared.

When the “festivities” ended and the rest of the guys packed up to go home, Alex, being the polite boy he always was around you, offered to stay over and clean up. How could you say no to that? So here you were sweeping up the leftover confetti they attempted to surprise you with and throwing away empty beer bottles, Alex humming along to whatever song he had put on in the background.

In between this song and the next he looked up at you with a small smirk, the smirk that always seemed present on his face these days. “Can’t believe you’re already 24. You’re a big girl now.” His voice is both teasing and kind, he leans against the counters in the kitchen and continues to watch you as you throw away the last of the garbage.

“I’m only a year younger than you,” you reply with an eye-roll that’s somewhere between playfulness and affection. The dynamic between you and Alex was always more loving teasing than anything else, it really hadn’t changed since you were both 12 and on the schoolyard. “Y’know most of the girls we went to school with are getting married and having babies now. And I’m basically still just a glorified groupie for a band of losers,” you add. The words were joking but there was an underlying melancholy there, sometimes late at night you would contemplate what life would be like if you actually had a job.

“Hey! We are not losers!” Alex acts offended at that part of your sentence, reaching up to poke your cheek with his slender fingers. He, being the perceptive bastard he was, also picked up on the sadness present within your words. Tilting his head a little he continued, “You’re still young, you don’t have to have to think about marriage or babies. Hell, I’m only a year older than you and I haven’t even considered it.” He hopes his words are reassuring and what you need, he doesn’t like to see you sad like this.

“I guess I’m just feeling old. I know it’s stupid.” You shake your head, suddenly feeling embarrassed at your own feelings. It wasn’t that you particularly wanted children, and there definitely wasn’t anyone for you to get married to right now, but you still couldn’t shake the anxiety about falling behind. Alex pouts at you, he hates your anxiety and your self doubt. He almost made you feel guilty about your thoughts. “I’ll just try to enjoy being 24 I guess,” you add to reassure him, a small smile appearing on your face.

“That’s my girl.” Alex’s face lights up at your words, knowing that you’re not entirely miserable, and he brings his hand up to ruffle your hair before turning to the refrigerator. “You want another beer?” It’s not even a question, he’s already gotten two out and is already handing one over to you, to which you oblige. You sit down, opening your beer with your teeth. It was your favorite party trick, definitely one that made you the object of some teenage boy’s attention back home. Alex gives a small laugh at the familiar action and shakes his head, “Damn show off.”

He hops up on the counter behind you, creating some distance between your height and his. He opens his own beer and looks down at you. “I was thinking maybe I could take you to dinner tomorrow? I’ve been meaning to try this new fancy sushi restaurant and I haven’t really had an occasion. My best mate’s birthday is as good of one as possible.” He’s not asking this as any form of date or romantic advance, he genuinely wants you to have the best birthday possible, and he wants an excuse for 50 dollar sushi. It’s not like you and Alex haven’t gone to dinner together multiple times before.

“Just us?” you ask. It was a 50/50 thing usually on if it was just Alex or the rest of the Monkeys around. Part of you hopes it’ll just be you and Alex.

“Just us, birthday girl.” He smirks and reaches down to ruffle your hair again. It was an action that still always made you feel your cheeks heat up, you ignore it by taking a sip from your beer. “It’ll be my treat, plus I really want to go to this damn restaurant. I won’t even try to embarass you.” Key word try, he always found a way to embarrass you. If it wasn’t you getting embarrassed it would almost be adorable how big of a loser he was.

“Oh you wouldn’t dare to embarrass me. Besides, you’ll be wanting to impress all the rich girls at this place.” You smirk and pick the bottle up to your lips, taking a sip from the beer.

“You got me there,” he concedes, nodding once in agreement. “I do like showing off my wealth to pretty girls,” his tone teasing you and giving you a stupid wink. You make a ‘tsk’ noise and shake your head dramatically, pretending to be offended at the idea of him flirting with anyone else (although that did spark feelings in your chest you didn’t quite understand).

Alex raises his hands in defense of himself before gently swatting your arm, “Hey! I’m just fucking with you. You know you’re the only pretty girl I’ll be trying to impress tomorrow.” He tries to turn on that charm he was so well known for to tease you further. It was true though, he loved to spoil his best mate.

The words ‘pretty girl’ almost make you blush, almost, you’re able to fight it off and continue your playful demeanor. “You can impress me by letting me order the most expensive wine on the menu,” you smirk at him. You knew he would give in.

Alex takes a sip from his beer and smirks, even if it may drain his wallet (although let’s be real, it won’t) he really did love the idea of completely spoiling you. “Hey, go crazy. I’ll pay for anything and everything, remember? Order as much as you want, it’s a night of indulgence for my favorite girl.”

The grin on his face mirrors the one on yours, this birthday dinner suddenly sounding like the most appealing thing ever. Fancy food and the best wine money could buy, you were forever thankful your best friend was somehow loaded now. And maybe it’s the copious amounts of beer you may or may not have digested but your next words tumble out of your mouth somewhere between a truth and a joke. “You’re the love of my life, you know that?”

Alex keeps smiling at this, he knows you’re exaggerating and being a tease. But his brain does suddenly remind him of something Matt said the week before while they were drunk… ‘You’re so damn whipped Al, you’re practically in love with her…’

But Alex is in good spirits tonight and brushes that thought away, he doesn’t want to dwell on that and he’s honestly too drunk to do that. “You’re such a damn flirt,” he teases you, lightly kicking your knee with his foot and pouring more beer down his mouth.

“Only for you.” You laugh and wink at his words, just glad he didn’t take anything too seriously. You also weren’t ready to think about the implications of what you had said earlier.

He laughs softly at that, but when he sees your wink any words he could say get stuck in his throat. His heart starts to beat a little faster. “Aye careful, don’t go breaking my heart love,” he jokes with you before taking a drink to distract himself from whatever unpleasantly pleasant feeling was inside his chest.

“Oh I’d never break your heart, I’m not any of your ex-girlfriends.” It was a low blow, he had been through a pretty nasty breakup within the past year, but that was your dynamic. He could handle it, hell he had probably said worse about you during the party. You almost laugh at your own joke, it’s not even that funny. Alex just huffs out a laugh and pretends to be offended.

“Hey! You’re supposed to be on my side!” He pouts dramatically at you, acting somewhat like a whiny child. He puts his beer bottle down to poke your forehead again. You look up at the finger on your head, he had nice fingers. He keeps it there for some reason.

“I am on your side, you’re just easy to tease,” you smirk and respond, still watching the finger on your head. He watches your smirk, a twinkle appearing in his eyes. He can’t deny that you had the cutest smirk in the world. He follows your gaze, noticing that his hand was large compared to the size of your head. And then he realizes he’s been staring for way too long and drops his hand back in his lap quickly, letting out a scoff at your words.

You take a drink from your beer in an attempt to recompose yourself, these are not the thoughts you should be having right now. Maybe it was just the beer talking, maybe you shouldn’t take another sip. You look around the kitchen for something else to say to change the subject, eyes landing on the blue birthday cake Jamie ordered you. “Y’know I wasn’t allowed to have a cake for my birthday after I turned 11? Mum thought it was ‘killing my body,’ whatever that means.”

His eyes widen in disbelief, his words coming out louder than he anticipated, “No cake! You got denied cake! That must’ve been hell, I feel bad for little girlie for not getting cake on her birthday,” He scoffs at the thought of your mum treating you like that, resting a comforting hand on your knee.

“She’d get me blueberry muffins, which was whatever… I guess,” you laugh and shake your head at the memory, looking down at your body for a second. “It doesn’t make sense to me anyways, it’s not like I was ever at risk of being dangerously unhealthy.”

“Muffins?” He says in complete perplexment, still shaking his head at the idea of being denied cake. He loves cake. He takes a good look at you and notices what you mean, you had the perfect body to him. “Your mum seems nutty to me. You were fine to eat cake! I remember what you looked like back then.” He says bluntly, almost offended at the idea.

“She is nutty, I’m perfectly healthy still. I don’t know how she was ever worried about my size.” You give a half-laugh and a shrug, running a hand through your hand.

“You are perfectly healthy. And the only size you are is fun-sized.” Alex jokes at you, reaching forward to boop your nose. He always loved touching your face, it would be annoying if it didn’t make your heart flutter.

You laugh at this, shaking your head again. “If by fun-sized you mean full of anxiety and a functioning alcoholic then yeah,” you joke back with him, also reaching forward to boop his own nose.

“Yeah right. You’re also cute as hell,” He adds on to make you feel better, even if you weren’t that sad. He just liked to compliment you. He swats your hand away from his nose and sticks his tongue out in retaliation. You roll your eyes and smile at his words. It was a genuine smile,, you didn’t get told you were ‘cute’ too much, it was usually some crude form of ‘sexy’ you heard from guy’s lips.

“Thanks, at least someone thinks that.”

Alex feels a pang of guilt at seeing the smile on your face and hearing your words. He knows that guys have used you for your looks and he knows the insecurity it’s brought upon you.

“Hey.” He says softly, reaching a hand up to gently cup your face. “Guys are assholes,” he tells you while stroking his thumb over your cheek. The simple action makes your heart feel things you really can’t understand at all, he was so tender around you sometimes. You have to ignore that and shake your head.

“You’d know a thing or two about that.” You follow your words up with an immediate swig of beer, a self satisfied smirk appearing on your face. It was so fun to tease him.

“Oh shut up!” He huffs jokingly and gently smacks your cheek, not hard at all, more like a tap. “I’m being nice and all I get for it is smartass quips? You’re the dick, you know that?”

You give a dramatic gasp at his ‘smack’, shaking your head in mock disapproval. “Smacking the birthday girl? That’s a real low for you, Turner.” You keep shaking your head and stick out your tongue out at him. If he wanted to act like a child, so would you.

“You’re not as cute when you do that,” he gives a pout and grabs your tongue between his fingers and tugs on it. “See, it’s not as fun when the tables are turned.” He laughs at his own actions, keeping your tongue firmly in between your fingers. You can’t exactly talk so the only way you’re able to respond is by closing your mouth and biting down on his finger. It’s not a hard bite but it’s still enough to hurt. When he pulls his finger away the smirk on your face is the widest it’s ever been.

“You bit me!” His eyes widen for just a second, a soft gasp leaving his pouty lips. It does hurt for a moment but he knows you only did it as a playful warning. He brings his finger (now slightly damp with teeth marks on it) back up to your nose, swatting it. “Bad birthday girl.”

This is about the funniest thing you’ve ever heard and seen. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking but you break into a hysterical fit of laughter for a solid two minutes, just guttural belly laughs. You even place your hand on your stomach in the giggles. When you start to speak you haven’t even fully recomposed yourself, some tee-hees still slipping out. “If you don’t want to be bitten, don’t stuff your fingers in my mouth.”

“Yeah? Maybe I should stuff something else in there to keep it shut.” He says his next words without even fully thinking about them. Feeling his face heat up instantly, cursing himself for blurting that out. God, why is alcohol a demon?

You could get flustered at this, it’d be so easy to get flustered at this. And the thought of sucking him off does pass through your brain, but you and Alex had had a relationship like this for ages so you’re able to push it back enough. “Yeah? I’m sure you’d like that,” is how you retort. Your eyebrows are raised and your tone is cocky. He is NOT allowed to fluster you.

Alex is the one who gets flustered, he’s trying not to become as red as a tomato but a blush is creeping onto his ears. He would like that, he’d really like that. Your pretty little lips wrapped around his… no. He can’t think about that. He’s known you since you were awkward limbs and still losing teeth. The idea of you in any other way is disturbing, even if he’s pictured it before during late nights with his hand wrapped around his long shaft.

You notice the blush on his face and almost feel bad, he was so shy sometimes. You didn’t want to make him embarrassed or uncomfortable, that would be shitty. “Hey no, I’m just fucking with you,” you grin to cheer him up. He nods and his eyes dart away, just the image appearing in his mind is making his jeans slightly tighter.

“Yeah, I was just fucking with you too,” he mutters under his breath, adjusting himself in his seat. Was he fucking with you? He didn’t know at this point, he’s honestly wanted you for so long but he really doesn’t want to ruin the dynamic you have with him, with everyone. If you didn’t want him back then he’d lose his best friend, and the band would lose their best friends. He couldn’t do that.

You’re watching him intensely, like a hawk circling its prey. You notice the hint of fear in his impossibly dark and big eyes, you notice the rose tint on his cheeks, and when you look too much you notice the faintest hints of something pressing against his jeans. You can’t resist anymore so you take his chin gently in your hands, you’re not sure if you’re trying to calm him down or trying to get him to kiss you.

And then, before you can even process it, his lips are smashed against yours. He’s leaning over the table, the wood pressing against his stomach. It’s uncomfortable but he doesn’t care, he’s kissing you. And you’re kissing him back, lips against lips, him gently parting your mouth open with his tongue.

His tongue slips only slightly into the caverns of your mouth before he pulls away, panting. “I’m sorry… I should’ve asked first…” His voice is full of regret and he seems like he genuinely feels bad about kissing you, even if you kissed back. He was such a shy, uncertain man sometimes. You found it endearing.

You take a second to think of the right words to tell him that it’s okay, but they all seem cheesy. A heat is starting to form in your lower stomach and you don’t feel like doing a rom-com love proposal yet, you just want HIM. So you smash your lips against his again, this time harder and with more passion behind it. He gasps into the kiss initially but quickly matches your force, letting his tongue return to wear it was when you left off.

Your belly is now also uncomfortably pressing against the table and the kiss has become a dance of teeth on teeth and tongue on tongue. It’s not pretty but it’s hot, and exactly what the both of you need. He starts to run his hand down your chest when you finally pull away again.

“I want to do this properly.” You say firmly, standing up and already starting to walk towards your bedroom. “I’ve wanted this for long enough. I’m having you in my bed and not on my damn kitchen table.”

He laughs at first but his eyes tell a different story, they’re wide and full of both a shock and desire you’ve never seen. “You’ve wanted me for…a while?” He asks, following you into your bedroom. “I have too… everytime I’ve been in this room I’ve thought about every way I could fuck you in here.” He adds, getting a little bolder now that he knows you want him just as bad as he wants you.

“Then do it.” You reply, voice somewhere between a coo and a whine. You sit down on your king sized bed and start to slowly pull up the edges of your blouse, trying to tease him. But he just tuts and shakes his head.

“No.” He grunts, walking towards you and placing his hands at the hem of your blouse. “I’ve waited long enough for this, I’m taking your damn top off.” And then your top is off. You didn’t think of wearing your sexiest lingerie, you didn’t expect this to happen at all, but it’s your birthday so you decided on a decent pair. While you’re wishing that you wore the pair you bought last birthday, he’s biting his lip and taking deep breaths.

“Gorgeous.” He remarks before he reaches around your back to undo your bra. With the angle his, still clothed, belly button is close to your face, and you can see how incredibly hard he is. You’re about to say something about it when he beats you to the punch. “Perfect fucking tits. Can’t believe you hid these from me for 10 years.” His voice is raspy and his voice makes you shudder, you’ve never felt more turned on from anything else in your life.

He presses his lips against yours but it’s only for a second before he pushes your back against the plush bedding and is hovering over you, tracing his lips over your neck. He practically inhales the skin of your neck into his hot mouth, sucking and biting on you like you’re the best popsicle he’s ever had. When he pulls away there’s an angry maroon mark, which he gently ghosts his fingers over. It’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen, you covered in his work.

He then looks down and decides he’s had enough of your neck and attacks his lips to your nipple. You were already a panting mess but this… this sets you off. “Fuck… Alex!” You cry out, feeling how his tongue perfectly swirls around the rosy bud on your chest. He only pulls away to speak for a split second before turning his attention to your other nipple, “Happy birthday sweetheart.”

Your back is starting to arch and you’re wet in ways you didn’t know was possible, you bring your hand into your skirt to try and get some relief, rubbing yourself over your panties. His eyes trail down to your action and he grunts against your nipple before sitting up and, at a speed that seems superhuman, removes his t-shirt. His chest was toned and quite frankly, gorgeous. Everytime the two of you had gone to the beach it had taken everything in you to not just stare at him all night long.

He smirks at the awe in your eyes before grabbing your hand, bringing it to his belt. “Help me out?” It’s not a question, more of a demand. And you oblige, instantly sitting up slightly to undo his belt and then unzip his jeans. The first moment of contact between you and his clothed hardness has you gasping, and you can almost feel the wetness in between your thighs starting to pool on the bed below you. He snickers at this and shimmies out of his jeans, his boxers following just as quickly. He didn’t care about foreplay, he had to have you now.

“I’m going to eat your pretty pussy now.” He says firmly, like he didn’t even think about it. And then his fingers are on the edge of your skirt, pulling it down. He snickers again when he sees the large wet spot on your panties, it was endearing to him. You watch him with lust-blown eyes as he slips those off as well and then runs a finger through your folds, causing you to arch your back and gasp. You felt like a teenage virgin getting touched for the first time, just a gentle ghosting of his fingers has you acting like this.

“Wet.” He remarks huskily with a smirk before getting on his knees on the floor, placing wet kisses along your lower stomach and upper thighs. You can already tell you won’t last very long, just his breath being within proximity of your cunt is making you feel things you’ve never felt before. He notices this and, without warning, attaches his lips to your clit. You practically jolt on the bed, letting out an utterly guttural moan that you’re sure that everyone in the entire city could hear. He sucks at your clit like a man starving, bringing up a slender finger (the same slender finger that poked your face earlier) to enter you.

“Bloody brilliant.” He murmurs against your clit, gazing at your folds. They’re everything he’s ever wanted to see, even prettier than he imagined. He moves his mouth away from your clit to circle his tongue around your entrance, but he doesn’t ignore it. He brings his thumb up to rub the little button fiercely. The mewls this drawing from your mouth being beyond music to your ears.

You fall into this dance for a short while, you’re getting louder and needier with your moans and he’s getting sloppier with his tongue. He can tell your close and he’s eagerly anticipating how your cum will taste in his mouth. “Close… Alex please…” you scream, grabbing a hold of his head to push his nose against your clit. His perfect nose, and it feels even more perfect. He nods in understanding and starts to lap at you faster, even gently grazing your folds with your tongue. He gently pinches your clit and then that’s it.

The orgasm caused by him is a spiritual experience. You’re crying and screaming and feel more liquid leave your body than a damn waterfall. Your vision is blurry and your legs are shaking. It feels like heaven to Alex. You taste like heaven to Alex.

When your legs finish shaking he sits up, his beautiful lips coated in your juices. “Taste fuckin’ delicious babe.” He says with a smirk before hopping up on the bed, “But I’m going to fuck you now.” And then he’s maneuvering your body so that he’s slotted in between your already spent legs, the bed definitely needing a change of sheets.

“But what about what you said earlier? I could suck your-” You’re practically babbling when he interrupts you. You’ll do anything for his large cock in any part of your body. He just laughs at your state and shakes your head, you’re adorable. “It’s your birthday, angel. I’m here to make you feel good. So now I’m gonna fuck you.” He repeats his words from earlier and you nod, too light-headed to think of anything else.

“Good girl.” He smiles at you before pressing his lips against yours again, this one softer than before. He kisses you as he moves his hips further before he gently slides his cock into your hole. At the sensation you gasp and bite your lip so hard you swear you can taste blood. It’s the best feeling you’ve ever felt, pure ecstacy in your body.

Alex checks to make sure you’re okay before starting to move, setting a pace that’s both slow and hard, every thrust reaching a part deep inside you that makes you mewl for more. You start to paw at his back and whimper, repeating the word “harder” a few times. To which he obliges, of course, speeding up his hips until the rhythm is nothing short of pornographic. You’ve never been fucked like this before, every lover before is obsolete to the amount of love and desire in your bed right now.

You can feel his hard cock pulse inside you and both of you know it won’t be much longer, you’ve both wanted this for so long that the emotions of the moment are overcoming you. His cock is still hitting your walls with such perfect pleasure and he brings his thumb back to your clit, making you gasp again.

His thrusts start to get sloppier again and your breathing starts to become irregular, and he pulls away from your lips to stare into your eyes. “Can I cum inside? Is that okay?” Your Alex, as sweet and caring as ever. He’s willing to cum anywhere… but inside of you sounds the nicest. And you seem to agree as you nod and arch your back, using your hands to pull him further into you.

And then it’s like time slowed. If you thought your orgasm from earlier was intense… The one triggered by feeling his hot loads spilling inside of you is earth shattering. He starts to shake and collapses on top of you. You close your eyes and have to take at least 30 deep breaths to stable yourself. His hot cum is spilling out of your pussy and his hot body is still on top of you… and you think you may be in love with him.

After a second of just sitting and breathing he sits up and looks at the mess in between your thighs, “I’ll go get a towel… and I’ll get you something to take care of that in the morning I-” You shake your head and laugh. “I’m on birth control, don’t worry.” You smile at him and he smiles at you before he walks to your en-suite bathroom to grab a washcloth. Even for the thirty seconds he’s gone you feel alone.

When he returns and starts cleaning your thighs up you feel the fondness in your chest that you always feel around him, but this time it’s stronger. It’s… love? “That was nice,” you say softly, watching him with so much awe in your eyes as he gently cleans you up.

He places a gentle kiss on your lips and throws the towel on the ground, “It was nice. You’re nice. And perfect.” He smiles at you again, his warm eyes so kind and gentle.

“You wanna spend the night? And then we can talk about this all in the morning… I’m just worn out.” You give a small laugh and he nods, collapsing on the bed next to you before pulling your head against his shoulder, littering your hair with small kisses as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. You could get used to this.

“Good birthday gift?” He asks after a moment of silence, running his hand through your hair. You respond by placing a kiss on his jawline. Best birthday gift. You not only got the fuck of your life but now you have him, and you never want to lose him.

AN: this is my first fic!! pls lmk what you think or what i can do to improve! i'm just so obsessed with al <3

#alex turner fanfic #alex turner smut #alex turner fic #alex turner x reader #alex turner x you #alex turner x fem!reader #smut #andbreakmynose

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thestupidhelmet · 2 months ago

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Is there a reason why season 1 is and feels so different from the rest of the show? Usually just pilots look and feel slightly different because they are the "prototypes" but here the entire show is different in a good way. The theme song and intro and the transitions are different, this is the only season where they announce what date it is at the beginning of each episode and arguably the only season where the 70s setting is apparent and relevant. While there are some inconsistencies, this is the only season that seems like a year before the timeline becomes a Jeremy Bearimy (The Good Place reference sorry). Also there are changed in the characters' personalities- you said you feel like Laurie was smarter but the biggest change is with Kelso, while he has always been a jerk in season 1 he was good at math and technology and a bit of a geek. Fez seemed more innocent and Donna more feminine and styled better. Their families were somehow different too- Donna had two sisters and Jackie's mom was actually working and played by a different actress. I was wondering, is there a reason they changed so many things in season 2 onwards?

Quite a few reasons. 😅

After season 1, the creators/showrunners decided to tone down the 1970s sociopolitical aspect of the show. This aspect fades more each season until That '70s Show is essentially That Show.

Simply a creative decision for season 2 to change the theme song to sound more like the characters are singing along.

Mostly same with the bumpers (transitions), but money was also a factor. Season 1's first batch of bumpers had the characters speaking and showing a bit about who they are. But to keep on doing that would've been costly and disruptive to the show, especially once the characters are established. Having the actors in front of a green screen and performing actions silently allowed for many combinations of characters, depending on who was in the scene preceding or after the bumper.

Donna's sisters disappeared because of money and screentime. More characters means more actors, which means a bigger budget and less screentime for the main cast.

Jackie's father was supposed to be a recurring character, too. Not in every episode but more than three. Paul Kreppel (who played Jack Burkhart) was in a few of T7S's original press release photos with the rest of the main cast. He got cut, too -- likely after Fox's first order for more episodes in season 1.

Eve Plumb, most famously known for portraying Jan in The Brady Bunch, was likely intended as a one-off as Jackie's mom. Unlike Paul Kreppel, she wasn't in the original T7S press release or "That '70s Pilot" (1x01).

The show did great casting in season 1 for '70s nostalgia. Marion Ross, mostly known for playing Mrs. Cunningham on Happy Days -- a show set in the '50s but made in the '70s, a parallel to T7S being set in the '70s but made in the (late) '90s -- portrayed Red's mother in a recurring role. Her death episode ("Grandma's Dead") was the original season 1 finale. It was moved much further in the airing order after Fox gave the show a full season of episodes.

As for the changes to characters' personalities ...

Some of the changes can be attributed to season 1 getting not one but two orders for more episodes. The original amount was twelve or thirteen. Hyde's characterization in "Grandma's Dead" fits his original characterization from "That '70s Pilot" through the episodes produced during the first extension. In the original, shorter season 1, the non-triangle triangle is left as a non-cliffhanger in "The Best Christmas Ever," which I think could've been the original season finale. But in my research, I read that "Grandma's Dead" was intended to be the season finale.

Moving forward, the non-triangle triangle is resolved during the first extension of season 1 episodes. Hyde's role as Eric's romantic foil is over. "A New Hope" was meant to be (and marketed as) season 1's finale -- with the cliffhanger of whether or not Donna and Eric were going to be together after the events if the episode.

Then Fox ordered more episodes. I have no idea who was in charge of shuffling the episode airing order, but it was shuffled significantly. When looking at the production order and airing order, the focus of T7S post-"ANH" is clearly on Hyde and rebuilding his character -- to lead to what ultimately became the season finale: "The Good Son".

"Career Day" (1x18) was produced for the original thirteen episode order from Fox. It was moved much later in the airing order to start focusing on who Hyde is and why -- and the who changed in the final episodes that were written and produced. Hyde needed a character overhaul since his antagonist role was over. T7S's creators confessed on camera that they had no idea who Hyde was when the show first started. Outside of being the conspiracy theorist and Eric's romantic non-rival, they hadn't developed him.

But with "Career Day" in its new airing spot as episode eighteen, we then get "Prom Night" (1x19) that rewrites Hyde from the inside-out. It establishes his moral center, his instinct to protect the vulnerable, and his self-sacrificing nature.

"A New Hope" airs after "Prom Night" and was produced right after "Prom Night," too. Other reasons for producing episodes out of airing order exist besides trying to create a cohesive narrative from unexpectedly getting double the episodes to produce. For example, guest stars might not be available certain weeks (a common reason). But this is generally not the case for T7S season 1.

Upon getting a full season of episodes to produce, "A New Hope" was no longer the finale. The Eric/Donna cliffhanger was subsequently ignored. But the original plan was for Eric and Donna to be broken up during season 2.

After "A New Hope," every episode that follows depicts new!Hyde except "Grandma's Dead" (which, as explained earlier, was moved far later in the airing order). "Water Tower" and "Punk Chick" were inexplicably aired in the reverse order. If Hyde hadn't stayed in Point Place in "Punk Chick," he wouldn't have been present to paint a pot leaf on the water tower -- as Eric directly states in "Punk Chick".

Laurie's character shift in season 1 is also due to T7S getting twenty-five episodes after the initial thirteen episode order.

Kelso losing his math and tech prodigy characterization is likely due to the writers not wanting to work as hard. I'm not being facetious. Kelso in season one is very interesting because he lacks common sense, yet he's a genius in two sophisticated fields. But continuing with that dichotomy would have complicated his story arc in season 2. The writers went with a simpler characterization for him to make their jobs easier.

As for Donna, she wears less makeup after season 1 because it fits her character better. (A real-world explanation might also exist. I have a vague memory of it, but it's so vague that I'd have to find proof to substantiate it. So I'll leave you all with that mystifying nugget. 😅)

Last bit before I end this very long explanation-exploration: "Eric's Buddy" was not produced during the original thirteen-episode season. It was the first episode produced after Fox originally ordered more episodes. "Career Day" was going to air as the eleventh episode in the thirteenth episode season 1.

#that 70s show #that '70s show #steven hyde #michael kelso #donna pinciotti #ask #love-geeky-fangirl #my meta #meta #essay #my essay

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