#Best Lead for Puppy Training UK

[happydogsandcats]

Walking Dog With a Loose Leash: How to Do That?

If are you looking for puppy training tips, you are in a right place, you should take your puppy for a walk. First, you need to train them to walk on a loose leash. For the best leads for puppy training in the UK. You can go to Happy Dogs and Cats Center.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

“I was a raging alcoholic!”: Jonathan Davis meets Amy Lee

Two iconic rock stars, one epic interview – Evanescence’s Amy Lee and Korn’s Jonathan Davis talk fame, nu metal and living on the edge

On the surface, Jonathan Davis and Amy Lee don’t appear to have much in common. While Korn’s vocalist is best known for purging his psyche and utilising pure rage to fuel his art, Evanescence bandleader Amy is a classically trained multi-instrumentalist. To an outsider, the primal roar of Korn and the vast, intricately crafted swell of Evanescence could seem worlds apart.

In reality, the two share many similarities. Both have endured childhood trauma, which colours the music they make, giving Korn and Evanescence an honesty that connects with their fans on a massive scale. Both the bands they front have survived well beyond the nu metal tag of their early years, and are now thought of as unique artists in their own right – latest albums Requiem and The Bitter Truth charted in the Top 10 in the UK and the Top 20 in the US. Both have experimented beyond the boundaries of those bands, entering into film scoring and classical work. And, as we find out when we join a Zoom call with the pair in the aftermath of their recent co-headlining tour across the US – where they teamed up to perform Freak On A Leash together each night – both have an immense amount of respect and affection for each other.

We’ve been granted a rare opportunity to converse with two giants of the metal world. But, as Jonathan sits with his brand-new puppy on his lap – a subject that dominates the first few minutes of our conversation, and leads to Amy telling us that she’s in the process of getting a kitten – today feels far more like an informal catch-up than a rock star state of address.

Can you remember the first time you heard each other’s music?

Amy: “Gosh! I’m not sure what the first song was, but it was in high school for me!”

Jonathan: “You’re already making me feel old!”

Amy: “It was like nothing that I had ever heard. We all have certain artists in our life that we hear and they have a spark, they have an impact. Korn was absolutely one of those artists for me. The music was coming from a real place. So, I became a fan right away. My favourite album was [2002’s] Untouchables.”

Jonathan: “That’s so surreal for me. I still trip out on it. You have to remember that I was this green kid from Bakersfield, but we relocated to Huntington Beach. I gave up my whole life to live my dream, and I can’t believe that this thing we did could be so impactful. We were just doing our own thing, these punk kids telling everyone to fuck off – and we’ve gone through our entire career like that! Even the name! Who names their band Korn, man?! And to hear Amy say she first heard us in high school and… now look at what she is doing!”

Amy: “That’s what metal is, that’s what rock is supposed to be, that nonconformist attitude. ‘This is what this is supposed to look like? Well, I’m not gonna do that!’ The whole idea is that you are meant to break the mould.”

Jonathan: “I remember driving around in my car and their song [Bring Me To Life] came on, and I flipped, I thought it was cool. Listen… I hate everything, man, but I loved her voice. I liked that there was a girl doing some rock music and it was badass.”

You both had to shake off the tag of nu metal around that time as well…

Amy: “I have a feeling Jonathan may feel the same, but I don’t like boxes. As artists we are unique. The real value in something is being who you are and not trying to fit into a certain genre. I want the freedom to make whatever music comes out of my soul. When [2003 debut album] Fallen came out, I was fresh out of school and I was like a cartoon of myself; it felt like nobody got me, it was just a 2-D representation of me based on people only knowing a couple of songs. I really struggled with that.”

Jonathan: “For me, we were making Untouchables, and that was when so many bands were coming out and jumping on the bandwagon. Now I don’t mind the tag ‘nu metal’ – they named an entire subgenre after my band? Holy shit! That’s cool! – but punk-ass, crazy Korn back then, we were like, ‘What the fuck? Fuck everyone! We’re going to make this insane record.’ Keep people guessing. It had become a parody of itself – I don’t want to be defined like that! Nowadays, I don’t care, but back then, I hated it. I make the music I make… you don’t call Metallica some thrash band! They’re fucking Metallica! You don’t call the Chili Peppers a funk rock band! They’re the fucking Chili Peppers! And Korn are Korn!”

Amy: “Exactly! You did it, there is only one Korn!”

Both of you seem to really dig deep into your personal lives and experiences to make music.

Amy: “That’s what sticks, that’s what stays, that’s what really touches people. Not the bullshit. It’s when you’re really taking a chance and speaking from the heart. I want to feel something real when I listen to music – it’s food for the soul, to feel not alone in the universe. When it comes to the bands that really stick, they’re the ones that really put everything out there.”

Jonathan: “For sure. Kids have bullshit detectors; they can hear that shit a mile away.”

Amy: “We had to fight the power with labels and stuff throughout my career. It’s always been a fight. Not now, I fought my fights…”

Jonathan: “And you won!”

Amy: “I did! The fights were always for the fans’ intelligence. They are not as stupid as the industry thinks they are! We’re going to give them something real, and it can’t be fake… anything but that! That turned into fights about real strings versus synthesisers. I knew we had to spend the money to make it sound right, because I knew it was what I would have wanted as a fan.”

Jonathan: “I feel the same. We were lucky, because we always told them that it was going to be our way or no way. We got into fights with magazines, fights with video directors, literal physical altercations, because we were so sure that it wasn’t going to go down like that.”

Amy: “‘Y’all want a single, say fuck that!’”

Jonathan: “Exactly!”

Amy: “When [Korn’s] Y’all Want A Single came out [in 2003], it really affected me again. I was like, ‘These people get me! This is my people!’”

Jonathan: “When the managers said, ‘We gotta try and get a single,’ we were like, ‘OK, here’s your single!”

Amy: “[To Hammer] They play that song every night, usually near the end before the encore, and we are all always side of the stage like, ‘Oh boy! Here we go!’ It’s always one of our favourite songs to warm up to before we go on, too.”

Is it hard for both of you to get into a place where you have to deliver such personal material every night?

Jonathan: “It’s like a switch flicks in my mind and I go to that place. Honestly, I kind of enjoy it. Most of the time I’m happy as fuck, but when I hear my band, and there’s a crowd, and it’s loud as fuck, I go there. I feed that to the people that want it, and they purge it and they let it out and it’s a huge release. I need it to get whatever is inside of me out, but by the end of the tour I’m so exhausted I can barely walk. I’m in hell, I want to go home and sleep for two weeks. But I need it, it’s therapy.”

Amy: “It’s a release, and there are days when you don’t feel like going onstage. But, without fail, when you get to the point where you walk up onto that stage and something takes over, it’s purifying.”

Jonathan: “Totally. I’ve said, ‘I’m gonna go on autopilot!’ so many times and…”

Amy: “Never gonna happen!”

Jonathan, how difficult was it to do Daddy live for the first time in 2015, on the 20th anniversary of your self-titled debut?

Jonathan: “I felt like I robbed the world of doing that live for so long. I felt like I owed it to our fans that were hardcore enough to come and see us on the 20th anniversary of that album, but I don’t wanna do it again. Going out and touring that record, I realised how dark it is – it’s some depressing shit. As we got into Follow The Leader, it became more about groove. The emotion was there, but it wasn’t that particular darkness we captured on that first record. In a few years, it’s the 30th anniversary and… I don’t think I wanna go through that again. It was difficult, and I think I was proving to myself that I could do it too.”

You both had to deal with an intense level of fame early on in your careers. How was that?

Jonathan: “I became a raging alcoholic. You can’t go anywhere, you can’t do anything, you have to have a fucking bodyguard 24 hours a day. Crazy shit. Still to this day, it’s tough, but that’s what we signed up for. Everyone in Korn went a bit nuts in the late 90s.”

Amy: “It was a hard adjustment. I was 21 [when Bring Me To Life came out], and I was often the only female anywhere. In my mind I thought, ‘That doesn’t matter!’, but you do start to feel alone. It wasn’t just about being female. Like I was talking about – it was that you start seeing the cartoon of yourself, the album cover version, the interview version. How can you feel like everyone knows me… but nobody knows me…? We’ve grown up and times have changed, but in the beginning it was scary. I used a lot of that as inspiration for the second album [The Open Door, released in 2006]. Billie Eilish’s second album does that too, and I found myself really relating to a lot of that.”

Jonathan: “It was hard for my little boy, Nathan. People would rush me and he would start crying, because all he knew was that ‘This is my daddy and this is my daddy time.’ He would cry and I’d have to say to this person, ‘Yo, I’m with my kid.’ And they go away pissed off. It’s mentally taxing. I know Amy can relate, but most people can’t.”

Amy: “Yeah, you’re ungrateful!”

Jonathan: “‘You’re an ungrateful fuck, fuck you! I’m burning your CDs!’ That sort of shit.”

Do you remember meeting each other for the first time?

Amy: “I do. It was at a festival, I guess. I was too nervous to knock on the door. So, I wrote a note saying how big a deal it was to have played with them, pushed it under the door and was happy to leave it at that. But they chased me down. Their security guy came and got me and brought me in. You were really nice to me, Jonathan, you were like, ‘Hey come on in, sit down!’ It was really sweet. Do you remember that now?”

Jonathan: “Yeah, I do now. I haven’t thought about that for years!”

Amy: “Fast-forward a few years and we’re doing Family Values [in 2007], and they really taught me how to have fun on tour. There was one night where I was stood by our bus, and suddenly these golf carts came out of nowhere, and all of Korn are on them and they say, ‘Hey! We’re gonna go let off some fireworks!’ It was just like they were still kids. There was something really pure about that.”

Jonathan: “That’s the whole reason we become artists, so that we can remain kids. Not to conform to what society tells us we have to be. I’m a 51-year-old kid. I remember that tour now. It was us and you, Trivium…”

Amy: “I remember Atreyu was on that tour and… Flyleaf, and Hellyeah.”

With Atreyu and Trivium on that Family Values tour, did it feel like there was something of a sea change happening in heavy music?

Amy: “Music has changed all along the way, and I think that is a good thing. That’s what keeps it interesting and genuine.”

Jonathan: “I just like anyone that is nice to me!”

Amy: “Ha ha ha! I had such a great time with you guys on this last tour! Coming back after doing that Family Values tour, what, 15 years later, it actually means more. After the pandemic, the passion from the audience to the bands and the crew, it was a moment of coming full circle. You get older and you recognise that time is fleeting, and we’re very lucky to have that moment and to have each other.”

What did you think of Amy’s cover of Korn song Thoughtless in 2004, Jonathan?

Jonathan: “I LOVED it! I loved how you broke it down and really got the chord progression and the melody; I wrote that fucking thing on an acoustic guitar in my room in Arizona, when we moved to go and write [for Untouchables]. I locked myself in my room and I would just write all night. I came up with that riff, I played the drums on the demo, I laid it all down, and I just love that she made it so… beautiful. Then when you put it out [on 2004 live album Anywhere But Home], they didn’t put the [Parental Advisory] sticker on it…”

Amy: “Oh yeah! They ripped it out of Walmart! Ha ha ha!”

Jonathan: “All because some uptight Christian family were pissed at the language on there!”

Amy: “It didn’t have the parental sticker and they said, ‘What? I thought Evanescence was a Christian band?’”

Jonathan: “Exactly, all that shit. I was going, ‘Yes!’ I love that.”

Amy: “It’s one of my favourite songs. I think the thing with metal is, it still needs to have a melody for me, and something I love about Korn is their beautiful melodies. When we started this tour I said, ‘We gotta do some collab! You can pretty much pick any song!’ I was really inspired by Tori Amos. She’s done a million covers, and she showed me that you can take pretty much any song and give it a whole new perspective and make you hear the lyrics in a different way. She did this cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit, and she gave it this deep pain. And Korn have done so many cool covers over the years…”

Obviously, you did Freak On A Leash on the Korn MTV Unplugged set too, Amy. It aired in 2007. How did that come about?

Jonathan: “I do not remember…”

Amy: “You guys just asked me! I was like, ‘Hell yeah, I’m gonna do a Korn song!’”

Jonathan: “You know what’s funny about that? Originally, we were going to do a mash-up with Metallica as the last song, but they were in the studio and couldn’t leave. My second choice was The Cure [who performed Make Me Bad / In Between Days].”

Amy: “I remember Robert Smith was there!”

Jonathan: “They all were! And that freaked me out, because that’s my band right there. But we knew we wanted to have guests, and so we asked Amy, because of the Thoughtless cover, and we wanted people to hear Freak On A Leash stripped right down. It was so intimate, we wanted to have people hear the actual melodies. We didn’t really rehearse, remember?”

Amy: “I feel like we ran through it once or twice, but I’m a practiser – I had run through it a whole bunch of times at home.”

Jonathan: “Well, I appreciate that… because I’m not! Ha ha ha! I just gotta feel it!”

And not many people would have believed that metal could translate to an acoustic style in that way, either…

Jonathan: “Nobody believed we could pull it off! It was the most intricate thing we had ever done. We had all these extra musicians, strings, a glockenspiel player, the glass harmonica player. ‘Korn can’t do Unplugged!’ ‘Yeah? We fucking can, watch this!’ We had to look at what Korn is really about, it’s about me purging my demons, but we did exactly what we wanted, and we wanted to come out of leftfield. A lot of people hated it but we really didn’t care!”

Amy: “Anything great that comes out of nowhere is always going to get people going, ‘Nah! Hated it!’ But to bring everything full circle, for me to get to do that every night on stage [on our recent tour], to do the heavy version, was such an honour. I’ve always wanted to do that.”

Jonathan: “It was great, too. Everyone loved it every night.”

Amy: “It felt like the ultimate celebration every night, right at the end of the encore after a night of so much love. I’m going to miss doing that.”

At this point, our time is up, and Amy and Jonathan quickly make plans to speak again soon. It’s been a trip learning about their journeys and how they’ve connected over the years, and before we go, we ask both icons what they most admire about each other.

“I respect the shit out of how she can sit down in front of a piano and make such beautiful music,” Jonathan immediately replies. “I respect her as a musician and a person totally.”

Amy beams, before answering, “It’s interesting… he was a legend before, and now we’re friends. That’s a weird way to start. It’s amazing to me. He’s a rad, down-to-earth, normal person with an amazing talent. It’s that simple.”

And with that, these two friends, so different on the face of it but so similar at their core, bid us farewell.

[freenewsreport]

Survey Insights: UK's Evolving Dog Ownership

The bond between humans and their canine companions has always been strong, but recent years have seen this relationship evolve in significant ways. As dog ownership in the United Kingdom continues to rise, so too does the need to understand the challenges and joys that come with it. The National Dog Survey 2024 offers a comprehensive glimpse into these changes, providing invaluable insights into the dynamics of dog ownership across the country.

Record-Breaking Participation: A Testament to the Survey's Relevance

This year's survey has set a new benchmark, with over 350,000 participants contributing their perspectives, covering a staggering 348,533 dogs. This record-breaking participation underscores the growing desire among dog owners to share their experiences and concerns. The data collected is not just a reflection of the present state of dog ownership but a tool for shaping the future of pet care in the UK. With such robust involvement, Dogs Trust is better positioned than ever to tailor their programs to the evolving needs of dogs and their owners.

Key Findings: Shifts in Dog Behavior and Ownership Trends

The survey delves into the complexities of dog behavior and the ongoing trends in dog ownership. Notably, there has been a marked increase in the number of young dogs and puppies, with 36% of dog-owning households acquiring their pets within the past three years. This "Pandemic Puppy Boom" has introduced unique challenges, particularly in terms of behavior and training. Many new owners are grappling with issues such as excessive barking, anxiety, and other reactive behaviors, highlighting the need for increased support and education for dog owners.

In addition to behavioral concerns, the survey reveals a shift in breed preferences. Traditional purebreds like Labradors and Cocker Spaniels remain popular, but there is a noticeable rise in the adoption of crossbreeds, with Cavoodles and Labradoodles gaining popularity. This trend reflects changing attitudes towards dog ownership, with more people opting for mixed breeds that offer unique characteristics and temperaments.

The Financial Impact of Dog Ownership

As the cost of living continues to rise, many dog owners are finding it increasingly difficult to manage the expenses associated with pet care. The survey indicates that 78% of respondents are feeling the financial strain, leading to changes in spending habits. This includes opting for more affordable dog food options and reducing expenditures on non-essential services like training classes. These shifts highlight the need for accessible and affordable resources to help dog owners provide the best possible care for their pets, even in challenging economic times.

Conclusion: 

The National Dog Survey 2024 offers a window into the evolving world of dog ownership, revealing both challenges and opportunities. As more people bring dogs into their homes, organizations like Dogs Trust must continue to adapt their resources and support services to meet the changing needs of dog owners. Whether it's through addressing behavioral issues, understanding breed trends, or helping owners navigate the financial aspects of pet care, the insights gained from this survey are crucial for fostering a healthier and happier relationship between dogs and their human families.

In a world where the bond between dogs and their owners is more important than ever, the findings of this survey serve as a reminder of the ongoing commitment needed to ensure the well-being of our four-legged friends.

[dogerys]

10 Essential Dog Accessories Every Pup Needs in the UK

Looking after your furry friend properly means you need the right gear. From cozy, trendy dog collars to top-notch dog beds, the UK offers a variety of options to enhance your pup’s life. We’re exploring the 10 best dog accessories that blend luxury, practicality, and quality without breaking the bank. These picks are suitable for all dogs, ensuring your pooch stays happy and healthy.

Top 10 Must-Have Dog Accessories for Your Pup in the UK

1. No Pull Dog Harness: Comfort and Control for Stress-Free Walks A no-pull dog harness is a must for every dog owner. It ensures comfortable and manageable walks by distributing pressure evenly across your dog’s body. Look for a durable, adjustable harness for the perfect fit and guaranteed peaceful strolls.

2. Comfortable and Stylish Dog Collar Elevate your pup’s style with a comfortable and best dog collar. Choose materials that are both durable and comfortable. Ensure it’s adjustable for a perfect fit as your pup grows, making them stand out in the crowd.

3. Premium Dog Leads Designed for Durability and Style Opt for high-quality dog leads that blend durability with style. Adjustable nylon or sleek leather leads offer the best walking experience for you and your pup.

4. High-Quality Dog Bed for Restful Sleep Invest in a top-notch dog bed for a good night’s sleep. With a range of sizes and materials, you can find the perfect bed to support your pet’s rest and relaxation.

5. Chew Toys to Keep Them Entertained Chew toys are essential for puppies, especially during teething. Choose safe, durable toys that keep them entertained and relieve teething pain. Look for variety to keep them interested.

6. Water and Food Bowls Designed for Dogs Proper water and dog food bowls are crucial. Opt for non-slip, dishwasher-safe bowls made from safe materials. Raised bowls can be beneficial for dogs with joint issues.

7. Dog Coat or Sweater for Chilly Weather Keep your dog warm in winter with a cozy coat or sweater. Choose breathable, insulated materials and ensure a proper fit for comfort and mobility.

8. Poop Bag Holder for Convenient Walks A poop bag holder is a walk essential. Choose a durable, easily attachable holder for hassle-free cleanups.

9. Grooming Tools for a Healthy Coat Maintain your dog’s coat with the right grooming tools. Regular brushing with breed-specific brushes and combs keeps their fur clean and healthy.

10. Dog Backpack for Adventure Days A dog backpack is perfect for carrying essentials on adventures. Ensure it fits well and is adjustable for comfort.

Keeping Your Dog Healthy and Happy

Prioritizing your dog’s health with regular vet check-ups, proper nutrition, and exercise is vital. Choosing the right food and ensuring consistent vet visits can prevent health issues and promote longevity.

Choosing the Right Nutrition and Diet Provide a balanced diet suitable for your dog’s age, size, and breed. Consult your vet for personalized recommendations.

The Importance of Regular Vet Check-Ups Regular vet visits ensure your dog’s overall health and catch potential issues early. Follow your vet’s advice on vaccinations and preventive care.

Training and Socialization Tips

Training your dog with basic commands and proper socialization is crucial. Start early with positive reinforcement and consider professional training if needed.

Essential Commands Every Dog Should Know Commands like “sit,” “stay,” and “come” are fundamental for safety and behavior. Consistency and rewards help reinforce these commands.

Socializing Your Dog: Why It Matters Early socialization prevents behavioral issues and helps your dog adapt to new environments. Introduce them to different people, places, and dogs regularly.

Creating a Safe Environment at Home

Dog-proof your home by keeping dangerous items out of reach and providing a comfortable space for your dog.

Dog-Proofing Your House Ensure cabinets, cords, and harmful substances are inaccessible. Create a designated, comfortable area for your dog.

Safe Outdoor Spaces for Your Dog Check for outdoor hazards and ensure a secure fence. Provide shade and water for hot weather to keep your dog safe and comfortable.

Engaging Activities for You and Your Dog

Interactive games and outdoor activities strengthen your bond and keep your dog mentally stimulated.

Fun Outdoor Activities to Enjoy Together Engage in activities like hiking, playing fetch, or swimming. These outings provide exercise and deepen your connection.

Interactive Games for Mental Stimulation Puzzle toys and treat dispensers challenge your dog’s mind. Regularly change up their toys to keep them engaged.

Conclusion

Equipping your pet with the right accessories, training, and care ensures their comfort and happiness. From harnesses and beds to regular grooming and vet visits, these essentials create a joyful life for your furry friend. Visit us at https://dogerys.com/

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the most important dog accessories? Essential accessories include no-pull harnesses, comfortable beds, and engaging toys for a well-rounded care routine.

How often should I replace my dog’s collar and leash? Inspect regularly and replace every 6–12 months or when signs of wear appear.

Can dogs wear coats in winter? Yes, coats keep dogs warm. Choose breathable, insulated materials for comfort.

What is the best way to ensure my dog’s ID tag remains legible? Choose durable, engraved tags and check regularly for wear.

How can I choose the right size accessories for my dog? Measure your dog’s neck, chest, and other relevant parts. Refer to brand sizing guides for the best fit.

Are there specific toys recommended for puppies? Yes, choose soft, durable, age-appropriate chew toys to relieve teething pain and keep puppies entertained.

How can I get my dog used to wearing a backpack? Introduce the backpack gradually, rewarding positive behavior. Ensure a proper fit for comfort.

What are some tips for socializing my dog safely? Start in controlled environments with well-behaved dogs. Gradually introduce new people and places, rewarding positive interactions.

How often should I groom my dog? Groom every 4–8 weeks, depending on breed and coat type. Regular grooming maintains coat health and cleanliness.

Do all dogs need a bed, or can they sleep anywhere? Most dogs benefit from a designated bed for security and better sleep quality.

[fhrhgh]

Choosing the Right Dog Restraint: Collar vs. Harness

Selecting the right way to keep your dog in check can be a bit overwhelming. There are so many options out there, and each claims to be the best. But picking the wrong one can not only cost you money but also affect your dog’s health and well-being. Dogs come in all shapes and sizes, and what works for one may not work for another. So, let’s help you decide between a collar and a harness by considering some important factors of Dog Leads And Accessories UK.

Collars – Good Collars Accessories For Some Dogs:

Collars are handy for identification, and they work well for dogs that don’t pull on their leash because they don’t restrict movement.

It’s crucial to ensure a collar fits correctly. You should be able to slip two adult fingers between the collar and your dog’s neck.

Avoid using collars if your dog pulls a lot. The pressure on the neck, even at lower forces, can harm muscles, nerves, and more over time.

Brachycephalic breeds (dogs with short snouts like pugs) should never wear collars. They can worsen breathing issues and eye problems.

Growing puppies are better off with a well-fitting harness to protect their developing bodies.

Harnesses Accessories- Often a Better Choice:

Harnesses are great for control, reducing neck pressure, training against pulling, and various work purposes.

However, not all harnesses are created equal. The fit and design matter.

Two Main Factors to Consider:

1. Harness Fit:

It’s essential to get the right-sized harness for your dog. Too big, and it might slip; too small, and it could pinch or restrict movement.

Like with collars, you should fit two fingers (no more) between your dog and the harness.

A well-fitted harness won’t chafe, irritate, or move around, and it’s especially crucial to check the fit for growing puppies.

2. Harness Design:

Some harnesses on the market don’t consider a dog’s anatomy and can restrict their movement.

Avoid harnesses with straps across the shoulders and chest, as they can hinder shoulder function and limb movement.

Remember, there’s usually a trade-off no matter which restraint you choose, so pick the one that suits your dog best. Most issues arise from dogs that pull too much, so consider training your dog not to pull for the best results.

About Us: Dog Leads And Accessories UK

Buddy’s UK is a fashionable dog accessory brand, specializing in dog walking accessories and prioritizing comfort and safety as the main factor of our company.

Our main aim is to provide a wide range of high quality, fashionable, and most importantly comfortable and safe products that suit the needs of almost every dog – during the long walks in the woods, chasing the football at the park, or even climbing a mountain – and not having to take out a small bank loan to do so! Our products are Unisex, fit almost all shapes and sizes, and are suitable for almost every dog. Every dog is our priority, and every dog matters. At Buddy’s UK we understand how important buying the perfect product for your furry bestie is! Order Dog Harnesses, Dog Collars, Dog leads product online now. Dog Leads And Accessories UK

[petnews2day]

The ultimate checklist for your Labrador pup

New Post has been published on https://petnews2day.com/pet-industry-news/pet-insurance-news/the-ultimate-checklist-for-your-labrador-pup/

The ultimate checklist for your Labrador pup

Preparing for life as a Labrador owner is always exciting, but knowing what to buy for a new puppy can sometimes feel overwhelming. From beds and blankets to toys and treats, the choice available to new owners is endless. 

Preparing a checklist is always a good place to start, condensing everything into a list you can tick off as you go. We’ve put together a selection of the essentials, along with tips and techniques to help your new friend settle in.

Here are 15 items you’ll need to buy before bringing your puppy home with you.

Food and water bowls

This is a good place to start when preparing to bring your puppy home. Stainless steel bowls are recommended, as they’re easy to clean and can’t be chewed up in cheeky moments (and Labrador pups have lots of those)!

Puppy food

Puppy food should be nutritious and well balanced, to help your companion grow into a healthy adult dog. Before your Labrador puppy comes home, it’s a good idea to speak with the breeder or your veterinarian about diets. When deciding what food you buy for your new puppy, consider their age and size. Check the nutritional content for high quality and easily digestable options. 

Offering little but often is best when your puppy first comes home, leaving time for the food to settle in between. A consistent feeding schedule can help with potty training as well, so bear this in mind when planning your dog’s meal times. 

Training treats

Training your puppy can be incredibly rewarding, as you watch them explore and learn about the world around them. From basic manners at home to walking in the park, everything will be new to your four-legged friend. It’s always best to use positive reinforcement when training, to keep interactions happy and fun. That’s why you need to have plenty of training treats on hand. Labradors are VERY food motivated, and will happily do anything for a treat! Make sure the treats are well-adapted to puppies, and that you balance out their meal sizes with how many treats they had!

Puppy training app

There’s lots of support available to new pet parents, from local training classes, to online training guides, and even an app fully dedicated to supporting you and your Labrador through puppyhood. Zigzag – which is free to download and provides 24 hour support from experts – offers new owners bitesize lessons to help with training, specifically tailored to your pup’s age and breed. 

Keep training sessions short and allow lots of rest time in between. This will help your puppy engage and retain what they learn.

An ID tag is a legal requirement in the UK, and must contain your address and contact details. A lightweight option is a good idea while your Labrador puppy is growing, as a heavy tag could cause discomfort. 

Lead and collar

Much like with the ID tag, your puppy’s collar and lead should be light and soft. Always choose a collar with a flat buckle to fasten, to ensure it’s as comfortable as possible while they practice their lead training.

A lightweight training line is a great addition to your Labrador puppy’s accessory checklist, as you can practice recall training without any risk of your new friend taking themselves off for a walk.

Toys, toys and more toys

Toys are an essential for any puppy, and having a variety of options will be particularly helpful if your new canine companion happens to be a Labrador!

Labradors are high energy, intelligent dogs who need to use their brain as much as their body. This can be a challenge in the first weeks, while you wait for the vaccination course to be complete. Luckily there are plenty of ways you can prepare before bringing your puppy home.

Interactive toys and puzzle games are great for young dogs. They help stimulate the brain, and can keep your dog entertained while you wait to be able to take them on walks outdoors. Chew toys are also a great idea for teething Labrador puppies, who may take it out on your furniture if they aren’t offered another option. And you don’t want puppy teeth sinking into your new sofa! Test out various chews and games to find the ones your pup loves most. Offering a range of different materials and types of toys will help build your puppy’s confidence around new things. 

As they get older and are able to exercise more, you can opt for toys like balls or frisbees, which can stimulate their innate retrieving instincts.

Puppy pads for housetraining

When it comes to house training, puppy pads will be your new best friend. Labradors are very quick learners and they typically love the outdoors, so establishing a routine from the beginning is a great idea. Set up a potty training schedule and offer plenty of praise and encouragement. 

Poop bags

As soon as you’ve got the housetraining underway, you’ll be in need of some poop bags. With a choice of design and even colours, make sure they’re high quality and biodegradable where possible.

Dog bed and blankets

What bed you buy for your new puppy will depend very much on personal choice. Some owners prefer a soft bed that’s easy to move around, while others opt for blankets in the first weeks. The most important thing is to make sure that the bed is large enough for your puppy to stretch out in.

Do bear in mind the likelihood of your puppy chewing the bed, and that they will be in the housetraining stage when they first arrive. You might not want to opt for the most expensive options right away!

Puppy shampoo

Dog shampoo has your pet’s health in mind, and is designed to be gentle on the skin. When visiting your local pet shop or veterinarian, ask for a shampoo that is specifically designed for puppies. It will be more delicate and better suited than other options out there. 

Dog brush

The type of dog brush you choose will depend on your pup’s coat type. A short, single coat requires completely different maintenance to that of a long, double-coat, for example. Select the brush you use by breed category.

You should also purchase other practical accessories, such as nail clippers, a toothbrush, and ear cleaning wipes. Trust us, your puppy will need them!

Start handling exercises from a young age, to accostum your Labrador puppy to being brushed. Zigzag, the #1 puppy training app, can teach you how to do this in a few simple lessons!

Crate

Labradors are highly social and affectionate, and the breeder will already have put work into teaching your puppy that attention is a good thing. But however friendly and playful your pup may seem, it’s important to offer a routine and a calm, relaxing environment during their first weeks at home. 

When it comes to what you should buy for a new puppy, it may be worth considering a crate. These don’t have to be scary and confining, as there are steps you can take to help your dog love the crate and enjoy it as a safe space.

If you do decide to crate train your puppy, you’ll need to build positive associations from the beginning. The time your puppy spends around the crate should be built up gradually, ensuring your puppy is happy and comfortable.

Puppy gate

Your dog needs to be kept safe at home, and a curious puppy may try to get out into hazardous spaces. That’s why you need to puppy proof your home. Scan the room for cables and wires and restrict access to high surfaces. A puppy gate can help with this!

Pet insurance

Buying pet insurance can be a good financial decision for you and your four-legged friend. While Labradors are generally healthy dogs, they often suffer from hip dysplasia as they get older. Labradors are also very prone to obesity, which can make any other medical conditions worse. Arranging to get pet insurance while your puppy is young and has no pre-existing medical conditions, will ensure you get the best deal possible. 

While it may seem there’s a lot to buy before bringing your new puppy home, it’s all about setting your pup up for success once they arrive with you. Taking a bit of time to plan out what you need will contribute to a wonderful first few weeks with your canine companion. Once everything’s set up and in place, you’ll be ready to enjoy every precious second with your Labrador puppy at your side.

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Five

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven,

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 5.8k+

Warnings: Smut... 18+ (duh)

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers x Kelly OlsenIn

This Part: It’s the L-Corp New Years Eve Gala and Emma and Lena haven’t seen each other since the kiss on Christmas Day.

This will be the last part until the angst train plows through everything! 

As always B!D is named.

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated.

Taglist: @thewitchandtheassassin , @natasha-danvers , @life-is-hella-unfair , @finleyfray​, @supergirl-writingz​

Emma and Kara sing loudly as they dance around in their underwear and dressing gowns. They are meant to be getting ready for L-Corp’s New Year’s Eve Gala but Taylor Swift’s song, ‘Shake It Off’, comes on and they can’t help but dance and sing along. Alex quietly ignores them as she applies her makeup.

“Come on Alex!” Emma whines behind her, pulling her famous puppy dog eyes.

Alex scoffs softly and rolls her eyes at her in the mirror.

“Please Alex.” Kara joins in and pouts her lower lip, letting it quiver.

Alex really tries her best to ignore them… But the combined efforts of her two sisters weakens her resolve. She rises to her feet to the whooping of the two blondes and dances with them to the rest of the song. The three of them laughing and moving energetically.

The song finally ends and Alex goes back to the mirror and sits down to finish. “The car will be here soon.” She says looking over at her two sisters.

“Yes boss.” Emma salutes and laughs as she wanders over to her walk in wardrobe. She looks between the two dresses she has picked out for the event. Both red but one is more modest than the other. And if Emma hadn’t kissed Lena on Christmas day she most likely would have worn that one. But, now knowing Lena was interested in her… Well, that changed things.

They had agreed to talk about it the next day over lunch but Lena had been called away to Japan to an emergency that needed her presence. They have been texting back and forth, but Lena has been adamant that they discuss the next step in their relationship in person.

Emma couldn’t help but worry that Lena had changed her mind. Which, if Lena had, Emma would honour her choice and back away. But Emma hoped that wasn’t the case.

“Em?” Alex walks through the door.

“Yea?” Emma looks away from the dresses and whistles when she sees her eldest sister. Alex is wearing a navy evening gown that made the redhead look stunning. “You look beautiful Al.” Emma smiles warmly at her sister.

“Thank you.” Alex smiles shyly and looks away for a moment. Her gaze focuses on the two red gowns. “Can’t make up your mind?”

“Nope.” Emma sighs heavily.

“Well what’s your reason?” Kara steps into the wardrobe wearing a long, gold gown. The top half is gold lace while the bottom is a beautiful material that simmers in the light.

“Kara!” Emma beams at her, seeing the dress as resembling Kara’s sunny attitude.

“Does it look okay?” Kara asks looking down.

“More than okay! Wow, you both look so stunning!”

“Thanks Em.” Kara smiles brightly at her baby sister. “Now let’s make you just as stunning!” Kara claps before turning to Alex. “Does she have time to try both on?”

Alex looks at her phone. “Barely, if you finish her hair.”

“Can do! Right Emma! Change!” Kara orders.

Emma laughs and grabs the more modest dress. Pulling it over her head, careful not to smudge her makeup. Alex helps zip her up and Emma turns to face her sisters.

They both push their lips forward and look up and down the dress.

“It’s… okay?” Kara tilts her head.

“Try the other one on.” Alex orders.

Emma rolls her eyes and unzips herself, stepping out of the dress and taking the other dress. When she puts the dress on she can feel it's the one before she even turns to get her sister’s opinion. She laughs at Kara’s wide eyes and Alex’s open mouth.

They gaze at the red, high necked, backless dress that clings to Emma’s curves in all the right places. It has a little train and a very long slit up the side but keeps Emma’s modesty but gives enough sex appeal off.

“Wow! Em!” Kara gapes. “That one! Definitely that one!”

“You look incredible.” Alex agrees “I think Lena will love it.” She smiles cheekily at the blushing Emma.

“Yea?” Emma asks shyly.

After everyone had left the Christmas party the sisters immediately descended onto Emma about the kiss under the mistletoe. They followed the blonde into her bedroom and sat on her bed, threatening they won’t leave until Emma tells them everything. Taking a deep breath Emma finally admitted her feelings for Lena. Kara squealed and pulled her into a bone crushing hug before giving her the shovel talk and what she would do if Emma was going to hurt her best friend. Alex just smiled brightly at her sister. Pleased that Emma finally found someone to love and that was worthy of her. They talked until the early hours of the morning about what Emma was going to say at the lunch later with Lena. They fell asleep in each other's arms and were woken by their Mom cooing over them. Their excitement as lunchtime approached was taken when Lena messaged to say she had to go to Japan immediately. The sister’s wrapped Emma in a blanket and they watched Disney films and ate the Cadbury chocolates Kara had flown to get from the UK.

“Lena will totally love it. You’re gonna blow her away!” Kara nods.

“Okay.” Emma breathes out as she makes her way back into the bedroom. She catches herself in the mirror and laughs loudly.

“What?” Alex asks cocking her eyebrow.

“I just realised we are in Supergirl’s colours.” Emma looks at Alex’s navy gown, Kara’s gold gown and her red gown. The smiles Kara gives her is blinding and Alex just smirks while shaking her head.

“How do you want your hair?” Kara asks quickly.

“Half up half down? Maybe plait it round to the back?” As soon as Emma finishes talking she blinks and her hair is finished. “Thanks.” She laughs and checks it out.

“Cars here!” Alex yells from the doorway holding up her phone. “We ready?”

Both sister’s nod and Emma steps into her super high heels.

“I don’t know how you can wear those.” Alex shakes her head.

“A lot of practice!” Emma laughs as she picks up her clutch with her keys and phone in and follows her sister’s to her apartment door. “Plus Dolly encouraged me to wear them as high as I can.”

Kara freezes immediately and Emma almost crashes into her. Kara whips round and stares at her sister.

“Kara?” Emma tilts her head in confusion.

“Dolly?”

“No, I’m Emma.” The singer sasses back and looks at Alex who taps her foot getting more and more impatient.

“No! I mean… Dolly… As in Dolly Parton?!” Kara’s voice somehow goes up an octave.

“Yea, as in Dolly Parton.” Emma smiles at her sister. Forgetting that the celebrities she meets are actually a really big deal to other people.

“Kara! We have to go!” Alex yells as she opens the apartment door and walks out.

Kara looks to Alex and then back to Emma. “We haven’t finished this conversation.” Kara threatens before leaving the apartment, Emma smirking behind her.

The car journey took longer than expected as many vehicles were heading towards the L-Corp Gala. Giving Kara and Alex time to question Emma about any other celebrities she has met. Kara almost hyperventilates when Emma admitted she has Taylor Swift’s phone number and had lunch with the singer in Nashville. Showing her sister’s the selfie they took at the lunch.

But the wait in the car also gave Emma time to get really nervous and excited about seeing Lena again.

“Hey.” Kara says softly, reaching for Emma’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “It will be okay.”

“Yea Em.” Alex agrees next to her sister. “Lena adores you, anyone can see that.”

Emma nods and takes a deep breath to slow down her racing heart.

Finally they pull up to the red carpet and Alex gets out first, then Kara and as soon as Emma glides out the photographers go wild.

“Emma! Over here!”

“You look gorgeous Emma!”

“Emma! Here! Look Here!”

“Smile Emma!”

On and on the photographers yell and Emma takes it in her stride. When she’s placed on the marker in front of them Emma smiles at each camera and poses elegantly. Alex and Kara watch from the sidelines, smiling at how at ease and natural the singer looks. 

Soon Emma is ushered away to allow the next celebrity to pose. Alex sees how Emma blinks to clear the spots in her vision. She reaches out and holds Emma’s hand and Kara does the same. Both guiding her down the long red carpet until she is able to see more clearly again.

Fans scream Emma’s name and she smiles and waves at them. But due to security, members of the public can’t get close which saddens Emma, she likes meeting her fans. Emma has a reputation for spending hours signing autographs and chatting with fans at events. Sometimes almost missing the event completely. But with the recent attempts on Lena’s life, she understands the tight security. After all Lena’s safety is the most important thing to Emma.

“Ready?” Emma asks her sisters, they nod and enter the building. After checking in they enter an elevator to where the gala is being held on the top floors of the building.

As the doors slide open the noise from the gala explodes around them. Emma looks over to Kara who nods at her and shows she remembered to put her dampening setting on her glasses. The sister’s exit the elevator and Alex watches as people are immediately drawn to Emma, like sunflowers to the sun.

Emma leads the sister’s to the open bar, unaware of the attention she is drawing. The bartender immediately serves Emma and she orders Alex’s go to whiskey and non alcoholic drinks for Kara and herself. With the tour coming up Emma can’t afford to have any alcohol. To be honest, she’s never been too fond of drinking anyway. Only really having wine with a meal on the odd occasion.

“There you are!” Kelly says as she wraps her arms around her girlfriend.

“Hi babe.” Alex kisses Kelly passionately before looking up and down Kelly’s dress. “You look beautiful.” Alex says softly causing Emma and Kara to grin at each other before quietly slipping away, giving the two love birds some alone time.

“Wanna dance?” Kara asks, already bopping to the music.

“Of course!” Emma puts her drink and clutch down as does Kara. “M’lady? May I have the honour of this dance?” Emma holds her hand out to her sister who laughs at her.

“And they say I’m the dork!” Kara takes Emma’s hand and follows the blonde to the middle of the dance floor.

The two sisters dance and laugh to many songs, having a great time. They both scream when Abba’s ‘Dancing Queen’ comes on and pull out their best dance moves, drawing the attention of the people around them. Kara smirks when she sees the attention is mainly aimed at Emma, who seems to hypnotise both men and women with her swaying hips. What Kara loves most is that Emma doesn’t even know the power she has over people.

Eventually Brainy and Nia find them, Brainy stands guard by the drinks and Nia joins in with the dancing. A few times all three are asked to dance by other men. But they politely decline. Nia goes back to Brainy when James, Sam, Alex and Kelly join him.

Another man approaches Kara, asking her to dance. Emma smiles sadly when Kara turns them down. Knowing her sister still isn’t over Mon-El yet. She leans towards her sister so Kara can hear her.

“You know you can say yes right?”

“I know… I just… Don’t want to leave you.” Kara says lamely.

“I’ll be fine! Lena should be finishing up soon anyway.”

All the time they’ve been dancing Emma has kept an eye out for the raven haired beauty. Knowing from her experiences of accompanying the CEO to many galas that Lena needs to work the crowd before allowing herself to relax and mingle with her friends. And as this is an L-Corp Gala, Emma knows Lena will most likely be working right up until midnight.

Alex, Kelly and Sam join the two blondes for a few more songs before they decide to stop dancing and refuel on food and drink. All the Superfriends head to the grand spread of food, though Emma doesn’t notice Sam slipping away from them.

Emma smiles when she sees potstickers in the centre of the table. Grabbing a plate she piles it high with lots of yummy foods and much to Kara’s horror, Emma grabs a few carrot and cucumber sticks. Emma laughs loudly and explains she needs to balance it all out.

The Superfriends chat while they eat and suddenly Emma feels like she’s being watched and a warm feeling spreads through her. Emma turns her head and connects with beautiful green eyes across the room.

-- -- --

Lena tries to politely listen as one of L-Corps board members drone on and on about the recent hiccup with the Japanese company. But Lena was running out of patience. Not that she would ever show it.

“I’m sorry to interrupt.” Sam smiles sweetly at the elders board member. “But may I borrow Ms. Luthor?” Not waiting for a response Sam holds onto Lena’s arm, moving her away from the group of board members.

“You’re my hero.” Lena whispers as Sam leads her towards the area where the food is.

“Don’t let Kara hear you say that!” Sam laughs loudly and Lena smiles.

As they walk closer to the food she hears a rich laugh above the noise of the room. One she’d happily listen to for the rest of her life. She starts searching for the source of the heavenly noise.

When she does Lena immediately stops walking and her mouth drops open. Her eyebrows rise when her eyes lock on Emma. Her gaze travels up and down Emma’s body, admiring how it hugs her curves. How it shows off Emma’s toned ass, making Lena want to moan at imagining what must be underneath the fabric.

“Lena?” Sam realises the CEO isn’t following her anymore. She looks at her friend and snorts at the bedroom eyes Lena is sending Emma’s way. Sam heads back to the transfixed woman. “You may want to tone down the fuck me eyes.” Sam softly says causing Lena to jump.

“I don’t have fuck me eyes!” Lena whispers back, not taking her eyes off the blonde.

“Oh trust me, you do.” Sam laughs before heading back to the group.

Emma turns her head and looks right at her through the crowd. Their eyes connect and Lena holds her breath. For a moment all she sees in the room is Emma. The blonde smiles brightly at her and Lena remembers how to breathe and use her legs again. She weaves through the groups and approaches the Superfriends.

“Lena!” Kara yells and gives Lena a one arm hug, careful not to spill any of her food. “You look wonderful! Doesn’t she look wonderful Emma?” Kara smiles at the other blonde.

Lena turns towards Emma and smirks at how Emma’s eyes take her in. How they linger on Lena’s chest. Lena is now happy she chose the mermaid, off the shoulder, dark green dress. Showing just enough chest to, hopefully, peek Emma’s interest. And it seems it's succeeding.

“You look breathtaking Lee.” Emma says softly and holds out a plate with Lena’s favourite food on.

The CEO can’t help but feel a warm sensation in her heart at Emma’s thoughtfulness. “Thank you.” Lena reaches out to take the plate, their hands connecting for a moment and butterflies erupt in her stomach.

The Superfriends start talking amongst themselves. Emma keeps smiling shyly at Lena when she catches the raven haired beauty looking at her dress. All Emma wants to do is find a secluded corner and talk to Lena. As well as other things… Emma feels her cheeks heating up at the thought of kissing Lena again.

But, before she can get ahead of herself, Emma knows they need to see if they are on the same page. She hopes the lingering looks Lena is giving her is a sign that they are.

Emma takes a deep breath to build the courage to ask Lena if they can talk. She turns to the CEO and opens her mouth to speak.

“Ms. Luthor?” Jess appears out of nowhere stopping Emma’s words from leaving her mouth.

Emma sighs quietly as she watches Lena leave with Jess to do some more important mingling. Both Kara and Alex give her sympathetic smiles.

To distract her they pull Emma back towards the dance floor and when they need another break a few other attendees ask Emma questions about her career, the Christmas concert, what her plans were for her solo album, the list went on and on. Emma graciously answers every question where she could. Being honest when she didn’t know the answer, like the actual time frame her new album would be released.

Secretly Emma has been recording a lot of songs in the studio with her long term producer and friend. Mainly to try different styles and see what fits better with Emma’s voice. Most of these songs won’t ever be used, much to Emma’s sadness but it’s been fun experimenting.

Half an hour before midnight Emma goes out to the balcony to get some air. She leans against the railing and gazes at the twinkling lights of the city below.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Lena asks quietly as she stands next to the blonde.

“Honestly?” Emma turns her head to look at her best friend, who nods at her. “I’m thinking about what this new year could bring. I mean it’s silly cause tomorrow will be just another day, and the day after that. But, I guess, with the New Year, it’s always a fresh start.” Emma’s face scrunches up. “Did I make any sense then?”

Lena chuckles. “You did and I would have to agree.” They stand in comfortable silence, just enjoying being in each other’s presence.

“Lee-”

“Em-”

They both stop and smile shyly at each other.

“You go.” Emma says, indicating for Lena to talk first.

“I’m sorry about everything that happened. With me leaving so quickly before we could talk. It wasn’t at all ideal.” Lena rubs her forehead.

“No, but, it happens.” Emma turns to face Lena fully, Lena copies her movement. “Lee… You’re my best friend and I really like you. Like, really, really like you.”

“Really?”

“Really, really.” Emma smiles and averts her eyes for a moment, biting her lip. “And, well…” Her hazel green eyes lift back up to Lena’s. “I’ve grown to care for you more than just my best friend…” Emma drops her head again and turns towards the railing. “Sorry I’m really not good at this!”

“Hey.” Lena reaches out and lifts Emma’s chin towards her. “I really, really like you too and I would love to explore this further.” Lena bites her lips as she finds the right words to say. “I love you Em. It may be too soon to say it, but you are one of the greatest friends and from the moment your sister’s tackled you to the ground I fell in love with you.”

Tears fill Emma’s eyes. “I love you too. With all my heart I love you and I would love to take this next step with you. To be yours.”

“And I yours.” Lena whispers as she moves closer to Emma. Her hand softly stoking Emma’s exposed back. “You do look beautiful tonight.”

“So do you.”

“10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5!” The crowd inside starts counting down and the two women smile at each other.

“To new beginnings?” Emma asks leaning towards the raven haired beauty.

“New beginnings.” Lena nods and leans the rest of the way. Their lips connect when everyone yells zero.

Lena and Emma experience fireworks immediately. Much like the ones whizzing and booming in the distance. Their bodies heat up as they flush together, deepening the kiss. Not caring if anyone saw them. At the moment it’s only the two of them.

They break the kiss only due to needing air. Pressing their foreheads together.

“Wow.” Lena whispers.

“Yea…” Emma breathes out. Her body tingling.

“Do you want to go slow?” Lena asks, knowing Emma has only been with a few people.

Emma pauses for a moment and looks at Lena. “I… I don’t think I can.” She says smiling shyly.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Lena asks with a heated gaze.

Emma nods but frowns slightly. “What about the gala?”

“Sam can take over. I’ve seen who I have needed to see.” Lena looks around them to make sure no one can hear what she says next. Leaning in she kisses behind Emma’s ear. “Plus, I don’t think I will be able to keep my hands off you a moment longer.”

Emma moans and bites her lip as Lena continues to run her hands up and down Emma’s back. Lowering her neck she kisses under Emma’s jaw. “Lets go.” Emma breathes out.

Lena doesn’t have to be told twice. She grabs Emma’s hand, lacing their fingers together and leading her back inside towards the elevator. They weave quickly through the crowds of people, missing the amused looks the Superfriends give them.

“Emma?!” Kara rushes after her sister holding out the blonde’s clutch.

Emma turns and smiles at her sister. Hoping Kara doesn’t notice her elevated heart rate. “Thanks Kar.”

“See you later?”

“Maybe… I’ll let you know.” Emma smiles when she feels Lena pulling her arm impatiently. “Happy New Year.” Emma calls out to the Superfriends as Lena tugs her towards the elevators.

Lena quickly hits the button for the garage level and when the doors close Lena launches herself at Emma. Pressing the blonde against the wall in a heated kiss.

“God this dress is divine on you.” Lena whispers as she rocks against the blonde and sucks on the Emma’s neck.

“I’m glad you like it.” Emma groans out.

When the doors slide open again the pair pull apart and Lena leads Emma towards her chauffeur’s car.

“Happy New Year Ms. Luthor.” The chauffeur nods at the pair, holding the door open for them. Emma dives in and Lena follows after telling the chauffeur to drive them to her apartment.

Immediately Lena raises the divider and makes sure the windows are on the black out setting. She lifts her tight dress up and straddles the blonde.

“Shouldn't— you wear— a seat-belt?” Emma says between kisses.

Lena pulls her head back and laughs. “We’ll be fine love.” She dives back in and sucks on Emma’s neck, happy to have already found one of Emma’s sensitive spots.

The car swerves and Emma reaches up to steady Lena by grabbing her shapely ass. She squeezes and whimpers.

“You like that?” Lena whispers seductively.

“Yes.” Emma gasps out and Lena starts to grind on her.

Soon the car stops and instantly Lena is off Emma’s lap and heading towards the apartment building. Emma follows quickly behind and grabs Lena’s hand. 

Back in another elevator and they can’t keep their hands off each other as they kiss deeply.

Finally they enter Lena’s apartment and the pair kick off their heels while knocking into furniture and walls, not wanting to break the kiss. They enter Lena’s bedroom and Emma falls back onto the bed. Lena immediately straddles her and kisses her passionately.

But Emma suddenly freezes. The realisation of what is about to happen dawning on her.

“Em?” Lena asks quietly, sensing the shift in Emma. “Are you okay.”

Emma nods.

“Do you still want to do this?”

Emma nods again.

“I need you to use your words love.”

“Sorry.” Emma squeaks. Coughing to clear her throat. She sits up, holding onto Lena as she does so the raven haired beauty doesn’t tumble to the floor. “I just… I’m not the most practiced. I want this to be perfect and I’m, well… Not.” Emma averts her eyes from Lena’s gaze.

“Oh Em.” Lena’s heart immediately breaks knowing that Emma believes this. “Love, look at me please.” Embarrassed hazel eyes connect with Lena’s. “Remember I’ve seen you at your worst and your best. And you’ve seen me too, warts and all.” Emma scoffs, Lena reaches out and cups Emma’s cheeks, wanting the blonde to hear what she has to say. “But to me you are perfect. Sex is meant to have moments of laughter and figuring things out. To truly get to know your lover. If you want to wait, that’s okay. I’d rather you be honest with me.”

“No, I want this. Want you.”

Lena smiles and moves to stand up. She turns her back to the blonde, looking at her over her shoulder. “Unzip me?”

Emma stands and bites her lips as she slowly pulls the zip down. More and more of Lena’s back is revealed to her. Lena reaches down and peels the dress off of her before kicking it out of the way. She turns slowly and Emma focuses on her chest. The strapless push up bra cupping Lena’s breasts.

Taking a breath Emma reaches up to the back of her neck and unclips her dress. The top half flutters down, the rest of the dress staying on her body.

Before Emma can take the rest of the dress off Lena steps forward. “May I?”

Emma nods and Lena slowly pulls the dress down. Emma steps out of it. Leaving them both in their underwear.

“God Emma.” Lena has seen Emma in her underwear and bikini before. But now things are different and Lena can’t help but bite her lip as her eyes wander over the blonde’s toned body. She notices how deep Emma is breathing and focuses on Emma’s dilated eyes. “You okay?”

The blonde smiles. “Yes.” Emma starts to reach towards Lena but pauses. “Can I take your bra off?” Lena nods and Emma continues to move her hands forward. Reaching behind, she unclips the bra. Slowly Emma pulls it off and steps back. She looks down and her mouth waters at the sight of Lena’s naked chest.

“Like what you see?” Lena asks seductively.

“You have no idea.” Emma smiles and reaches out, cupping Lena’s breasts and gently rubbing her thumbs over the nipples.

“Can I take yours off?” Lena breathes out and Emma nods. Still fixated by Lena’s breasts. The raven haired beauty smiles and unclips Emma’s strapless bra. Moaning softly when Emma’s chest is revealed to her. “Gorgeous.” Lena gently runs her hand over Emma’s smaller breasts.

Emma blushes and leans forward. Capturing Lena’s lips in a heated kiss. They moan when their naked chests connect. Emma takes a hold of Lena’s hands and pulls the raven haired beauty towards the bed. They break the kiss and both lie down facing each other. “I can’t believe this is really happening.” Emma kisses Lena softly before pulling away again. “You do want this, right?”

“You have no idea. I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

They gaze into each other’s eyes until Lena can’t take it anymore and kisses the blonde. The kiss gets more and more heated.

Lena moves to straddle Emma and continues to kiss the blonde. But soon she breaks away and slowly kisses down Emma’s body.

“Oh Rao.” Emma whispers out when she realises what Lena’s intentions are.

“This okay?” Lena pauses and lifts her green eyes to Emma.

“Yes, please don’t stop.”

Lena smirks and quickens her descent. She kisses up and down Emma’s inner thighs, which quiver in anticipation. Spreading Emma’s legs Lena makes eye contact with the blonde, who nods at Lena to continue.

She pulls down Emma’s underwear and takes them off. Slowly she looks back at the now fully naked blonde. “Beautiful.” Lena gently parts Emma’s outer labia and licks up from Emma’s pussy to her clit causing Emma’s back to arch off the bed and a deep moan to sound around the room. The noise becomes one of Lena’s favourite sounds and she decides she needs to hear more.

Lena focuses on Emma’s clit, gently rubbing it and causing Emma to let out quick breathy moans.

“Lee. Lee. Fuck.” Emma chants as she reaches out and holds Lena’s other hand.

Spurred on Lena stuffs her face in-between Emma’s legs, licking all around her clit.

“Lee, please!” Emma calls out making Lena smile and answering her wish. She lightly licks the clit repeatedly until applying more and more pressure and speed. Emma responds by bucking her hips more and more. Her moans increasing in volume.

Using her free left hand Lena runs her fingers up and down Emma’s body before finally settling on Emma’s breasts. Massaging them gently and playing with the nipples between her fingers.

“Lee… In me… Lee.” Emma gasps, moving Lena’s right hand she’s holding down to her pussy. Taking the hint Lena moves slightly to get a better angle. Slowly she rubs her finger up and down Emma’s pussy, collecting the juices there. “Yes! Fuck… Me!” Emma grabs onto Lena’s other hand that was massaging her chest.

Lena watches the blonde as she slides her finger into her.

“Fuck!” Emma moans and her hips buck wildly as Lena finds a rhythm of both sucking and thrusting. Soon Lena adds another finger and loves the feel of Emma’s juices flowing from her. “I’m gonna…” Emma throws her head back in a loud moan. Her legs shake and clamp around Lena’s head as the orgasm roars through her.

Lena watches Emma come down from her climax before crawling up her body.

“Hi.” Lena smiles when Emma’s eyes connect with hers.

“Hi.” Emma grins back and attacks Lena’s lips with a searing kiss.

Emma pulls away from the raven haired beauty and smirks. “My turn.” She slowly kisses down Lena’s body and as she settles between Lena’s legs she lifts her head to look at her. “Ready?”

“Yes.” Lena bites her lips and gasps as Emma kisses up and down her inner thighs. “Em… Please.” She feels Emma smirk as she continues to unhurriedly kiss her thighs. Emma slowly pulls Lena’s underwear off and Lena impatiently kicks it off.

Emma hums happily as she gazes at Lena’s neatly shaven pussy. She moves Lena’s folds and licks her lips as more of Lena is revealed to her.

“Em.” Lena whines. 

“Yea?” Emma grins up at her, causing Lena to give her an annoyed glare. Emma tilts her head and slowly lowers her head. Lena reaches out and runs her hand gently through Emma’s hair. Finally Emma’s mouth connects with Lena’s clit and the raven haired beauty hips buck in response.

“Fuck!” Lena screams and Emma has to hold her thighs down to be able to continue. Remembering what Lena did to her Emma steadily increases the pressure and experiments with different parts of her tongue. Listening to Lena’s moans and changes in her breathing. “FUCK!!” Lena cries and pushes Emma’s face further in between her thighs. Soon her legs are shaking and her eyes squeeze shut as she orgasms. “Emma! Em! Fuck!” Lena moans out as her hips grind into Emma’s face.

But Emma isn’t finished, not by a long shot. She watches as Lena slowly comes down from her high and she loosens her hold on Emma’s head. Once she is able to move the blonde scoots up the bed. Dilated green eyes lazily open and look happily at Emma.

Emma smiles softly, trying to take in every detail of how beautiful Lena looks in this moment. “What do you want me to do?”

Lena bites her lower lip. “Fuck me.”

“Fingers?” Emma says before leaning over and kissing Lena’s lips. The raven haired beauty moans as she tastes herself on Emma’s lips. “Or tongue?” Emma pulls back and waits.

“Fingers.” Lena faintly responds. Her brain short circuits with what’s about to happen.

Emma grins and captures Lena’s lips again. Her hand slowly descends down Lena’s body. She gently runs her fingers through Lena’s dripping folds, causing both of them to moan deeply.

Before Emma does anything she pulls slightly away from Lena to see her properly. “Okay?”

Lena nods and gasps as Emma slides a finger into her.

“Oh Lee.” Emma whispers as she moves to kiss and suck Lena’s neck. The feeling of Lena around her finger is mind blowing.

“More.” Lena gasps out after a while and gradually Emma increases the pace with Lena’s hips moving in response. Her moans and gasps grow in volume. “Another finger.”

Emma stops sucking Lena’s neck and looks down as she enters another finger into Lena’s pussy. The sight makes her moan and Lena pulls her into a heated kiss.

Emma curls her fingers and knows she’s found Lena’s g-spot when her hips buck wildly and her back arches. Emma smirks into the kiss and keeps working against the spot. She reaches down with her other hand and gently rubs Lena’s clit causing the raven-haired beauty to break the kiss and yell out. Her breathing increases and Emma feels Lena’s body tense and walls pulse around her fingers.

“Em! Fuck! I’m… I’m… I’m gonna come!”

Emma watches as Lena becomes completely undone. It’s one of the most beautiful sights Emma has ever seen.

Gradually Emma helps Lena come down from her high. When she’s able to remove her fingers she licks them, moaning at the taste.

Lena turns her head to the noise, the sight of Emma sucking her fingers almost makes Lena go over the edge again. Emma tilts her head and a smirk appears on her face.

“You okay?” Emma asks softly.

Lena nods quickly and kisses her passionately. The rest of the night is filled with their moans of pleasure until the early hours of the morning.

“Lee!” Emma throws her head back as her hips grind against Lena. The raven haired beauty watches with a small smile. Transfixed as Emma scrunches up her eyes and tenses as another orgasm floods through her. Her moans filling the room.

Emma collapses next to Lena, gasping for breath. “Lee, that was…” Emma rubs her hands over her face before looking back at her love. “Why haven’t we done this sooner?”

Lena snorts. “You dork.”

Emma smiles but before she can respond she yawns.

“Sorry? Am I keeping you up?” Lena laughs and then yawns herself.

Emma smiles sleepy before kissing Lena lazily.

“Let’s get cleaned up and then we can rest.” Lena moves off the bed, making Emma whine and reach out for her. Lena cocks an eyebrow and sways her hips as she goes to the en-suite.

“Meany.” Emma whispers before rolling off the bed and following.

They both use the bathroom and while Emma cleans herself up Lena quickly changes the damp bed sheets. She gets into bed and waits for Emma. Who rubs her eyes as she shuffles towards the bed and falls into it.

The blonde crawls to Lena and rests her head on her chest. Lena wraps her arms around the blonde, holding her close.

“Love you Lee.” Emma says half asleep, her eyes already closed and breathing deeply.

“Love you too Em.” Lena leans down and kisses the top of Emma’s head. Her own eyes grow heavy and soon they fall into a peaceful sleep.

(Part Six)

[myloyalpet]

English Bulldogs: The Best And Healthiest Foods For English Bulldog ..!

English bulldogs are an ancient breed originally created by breeding fierce animals with smaller ones. When used during bear or bull baiting events (essentially dogfighting), humans could protect themselves while betting on which animal would win out and thus make money off the spectacle. The result is an adorable medium-sized puppy who wants nothing but love. Today, despite their aggressive origins, these dogs have been bred to be sweet, gentle, and timid; they no longer look like what you'd expect from a traditional English Bulldog anymore!

For this reason alone, if you've been thinking about getting an English bulldog, then you must know how to feed them because they might suffer from different health issues such as food allergies, kidney disease, hypothyroidism, Cushing's Disease, and more. Unfortunately, there is not enough information available on the internet related to the best foods they can eat to maintain optimal health. So, we created a helpful guide for you that will provide you ample guidance.

Types of Bulldog

The Bulldog is not a single breed but rather many different types of breeds. Name the word "bulldog," and an image of a muscular, hefty dog with a wrinkled face comes to mind for most people; but there's more than one type! Here are some following types of bulldogs.

1) Olde English Bulldogge

The Olde English Bulldogge is also known as a pure-breed American pit bull terrier. These can get up to 100 pounds and are not recommended for apartment living because of their size; they need room to run around. In addition, the United Kennel Club bred them to avoid interbreeding with other dogs like the American Staffordshire Terrier, making it lose its "true" pedigree. The Olde English Bulldogge was originally developed to preserve the breed's original look before showing restrictions had been applied in the UK. It has a larger build than the modern-day Bulldog but still looks relatively similar otherwise.

2) The French Bulldog

Frenchies are the perfect dog for anyone who desires a faithful, intelligent pet. They have bat-like ears and come in many colors, with their most popular is black and white and cream or brown combinations of these two colors. These dogs can be great companions to individuals living alone due to their loving nature, which is entertaining because they require constant attention from owners! French Bulldog's intelligence has been proven by how quickly it responds when given commands such that some people call them "the Einsteins of Dogs."

3) American Bulldog

The American Bulldog derived from bloodlines present in colonial America before the Civil War between two countries (the US and England). English Bulldogs were brought here due to their popularity in England and their appearance in Roman culture. The American Bulldog is a big, sturdy family dog who loves children and has an innate need for human companionship. They make great fire dogs because they have strong noses that help save their humans from fires or other serious accidents (there's plenty of evidence online about how this breed saved its owner).

4) Pit Bull

Englishmen originally bred the pit bull terrier for entertainment in fighting matches. This type of bulldogs was used in blood sports like bear-baiting or as amusement in building anger in dogs by holding restrained bulls or bears while two dogs fought to the death over them and other similar forms of barbaric entertainment. Both sides claim their own history, whether they have been around for thousands of years or hundreds.

5) English Bulldog

Bred in the United Kingdom and can be traced back through standard bloodlines to ancient times. The English Bulldog is a popular pet for families due to its affectionate nature and calm temperament. The breed has broad chests, wide-set shoulders, drooping jowls that give them their signature look of being "bulldognish" (droopy). Their skin can be loose as well as short coats in colors like brindle or white. A male average about 54 pounds while females average 50 pounds with ears rosed instead of double flopped over on the head and piebald striping patterns on the body with black noses.

Benefits Of Having An English Bulldog As Pet

The English bulldog has many benefits to its owner. First, it makes a great companion because it loves attention and will always be there when needed. Second, bulldogs are also known for their ability to calm down young children and even older adults suffering from depression (as long as they get plenty of affection in return). English Bulldogs are especially skilled at this because of their kind nature. Third, Owning an English Bulldog is relatively cheap compared to other dogs who need more extensive care. In general, the English bulldog makes a great pet. Finally, They are very friendly and give their owners plenty of affection in return for being treated well. If you want to get a dog that can provide comfort when needed, help relieve stress and depression, and provide companionship for yourself or your family, an English Bulldog may be right for you!

1) It Helps With Depression

Because the majority of these dogs love human company so much, they make excellent companions for those who like affection but do not have anyone to hug during their daily routine. Also, since these dogs are so easygoing and calm, having one around can help ease the stress from the tension caused by depression.

2) Very Kind With Children

These dogs have been proven to be especially good with children because of their gentle nature. This is also beneficial to adults who have insomnia or other sleeping disorders. In addition, having a bulldog in the home can provide comfort and security for parents who may have trouble sleeping at night due to worries about their job or family life.

3) Save Owner Money

Owning an English bulldog is relatively cheap compared to other dogs who need more extensive care (such as those that require grooming services). English Bulldogs do not need much exercise either; they are content with taking a walk around the neighborhood or simply exploring the house. These dogs also eat less food than other breeds, which can save money on pet food purchases.

4) Easy To Train

English Bulldogs are one of the world's most popular dogs for their friendliness, and they're also really easy to train. They learn fast, so if you can teach them a few tricks, it won't be long before your pup opens doors or turns off lights without being told! Of course, these pups aren't known as "the brightest," which means that don't expect too much from them when it comes to solving puzzles, but with some training, these doggies will come up big in life by learning tasks such as getting dressed on their own instead of relying solely on human help.

English Bulldogs Prone To Food Allergies

The English Bulldog is one of the most recognizable and iconic dog breeds. Unfortunately, the breed's popularity has actually sparked a few woes, including health issues related to their distinct looks. If you're thinking about getting an English Bulldog, you should know that they are likely to suffer from allergies.

While all dogs can develop food sensitivities, Bulldogs seem more susceptible than other dogs. There's no way to tell for sure if your puppy will become allergic after eating certain foods (or treats). Some owners even start feeding their pups a new diet with little or no problems. Your dog could just get a little itchy or have mild gastrointestinal issues for a while and then eventually adjust fine to their new diet. For other dogs, a new diet causes major skin problems that require immediate attention and care. The worst cases can even result in chronic itching and constant scratching, hot spots on the nose and face, or even hair loss.

Commonly allergenic foods for English Bulldogs are wheat (even small amounts), dairy products, soybean(s)/soy(ed) products (including soy-based treats), corn/corn products (including corn-based treats), flour/wheat flour, or any ingredients containing these items from any source listed above.

If you are worried about what you should feed your beloved pet, you do not need to worry further; you can check our great options here: "best food for English bulldogs in 2021".

What Should You Consider Before Buying the Best Food for English Bulldogs?

English bulldogs are one of the most recognizable breeds in terms of their short muzzle, flat face, and small jaw. Unfortunately, this gives them many health problems, including difficulty chewing food properly or eating without difficulties breathing. They also often have dental issues that can lead to other complications; they may get an immune system disorder or digestive troubles, and obesity because they can't exercise enough due to physical limitations from those ailments. Furthermore, when it comes down to lifespan English Bulldogs don't have much going for them, with 8-10 years being the average age before illness takes over - some living longer than others but not by too long either way!

Consider these important things before buying food for English bulldogs:

1) Choose Healthy Food

English Bulldogs are not as hearty and healthy as other dogs. This is because they have a sensitive stomach that is easily upset by certain ingredients in dog food, such as because they can't digest them well. The efficient way to avoid this problem is with high-quality meat sources like beef or chicken, which will provide the protein your bulldog needs without upsetting his delicate system too much. Besides grains like bulgogi ingredients which may be difficult on their digestive system, there is plenty of other safe options, including fruits and vegetables that can be good nutrition for your lovely dog.

2) Age

The best food for your English Bulldog depends on its age. Puppies require more DHA and protein to support healthy growth, while adults need higher fat content with lower protein levels. Seniors who are growing old should also be given a diet containing joint health ingredients such as glucosamine or chondroitin sulfate in order not to experience weight gain problems caused by arthritis-related inflammation!

3) Budget

Your English bulldog is worth so much to you that the best food out there for it should be your top priority. But, make sure you get one at a good price with great quality! Dry foods are generally cheaper than wet brands However, if you can't find these high quality dry or wet foods locally, in that case, it's worth ordering them online as shipping costs will often be cheaper than purchasing from pet shops or interacting with veterinary clinics for each new purchase trial-and-error (which may end up being harmful to your dog).

If you are having problems finding the best food for your lovely English bulldog, then don't worry; we have great options for you; check out our best food for English bulldog 2021.

Conclusion

English Bulldogs are known for their loving natures, but they often suffer from health problems such as obesity and breathing difficulties. A balanced and healthy diet will provide all nutrients to your lovely pet without disrupting digestion or causing weight gain. Wellness CORE RawRev Grain-Free Dog Food contains everything your Bulldog needs in one bowl of food while keeping his digestive system clear. Not only does it come with vitamins A, C & E, which help strengthen bones and teeth along with omega 3 fatty acids crucial for heart function; this formula has been slowly cooked, so there's no risk of choking on chunks! Furthermore, it will provide them with energy throughout their day so they can be more active! To find out more about the best food for your bulldog…Click Here..!

[stevestonbike]

Never Good Enough

At least according to my new Garmin Dongle. You know this happy puppy ever upward cheer leading gets old fast.

The 130 has a few more factors and numbers to tell you how good you are. It shows a training effect factor for aerobic and anaerobic fitness or whatever. They both are over a range of 1 to 5. 5 is too much and under 2 is "why bother."

My last couple of rides the aerobic number is comfortably over 3 or even 4 so good on ya mate! My anaerobic number is barely over 2 so "maintaining". Before that anaerobic was not so good at all.

Historically I know my winter HIITs are for strength which is the Anaerobic thing and my endurance suffers. I need to get outside for longer and longer rides to build that. The Garmin says that is working.

So here I am pondering what do I do to improve strength while I improve my endurance to "summer shape." Basically I have to sprint. There are several places I routinely do that. There are two small bridges on the YVR run I try to Hammer. The first one is about 1000m long and it is about 50 seconds to the top at 30ish kph. It is hard. Last night I managed to hold good speed over that one.

The second is a hump over a commuter train line to the terminal. Very short, but steepish. I typically do max power there (663 Watts last night). I can sprint very hard for say 30 seconds and still pretty hard for 60 seconds, but after that gotta breathe hard.

Those two things probably got me that barely good score.

The strength thing is used in a few places on a typical ride not sprinting. Starting up from a dead stop, or climbing a short hill both while standing on the pedals takes strength. If I run out of air my legs burn and I have to sit down. I expect this and see it slowly improve over a season.

So these new numbers tell me that if I want to maintain my strength or even improve it I have to do a lot more hard pushes. Thing is do I want to? I have a pretty set routine and expectations over a season. My Garmin says I can do much better. It only takes hard work. Damn I was pretty happy were I was. Its that motivation thing again.

Another thing is that on long rides you pay for your efforts. If you push really hard it slows you down as you recover. If I sprint on longer rides or trying to hammer climbs the ride after will suffer. Tricky business.

Anyway my YVR loop last night was the best yet this year. It was still windy just less so. My average speed was 28.31 over the course. A few years ago I did just over 30 kph as a PB. Hot day, no wind. I think I may be close to that fitness now. Just need the conditions or much better strength. Damn dongle!

In other news I have a new power meter on its way. Came from the UK, but made in Calgary of all places. The power pod I have is good on slow uphill sections and in dead headwinds. Cross winds and tail winds it is stupid. I know this as I am working hard my heart rate is the same as when I was pushing 180 Watts into the wind, but it says I am not even doing 100 Watts. I am so frustrated with it I spent money. Cant buy a new bike so just fiddle with what I got.

Just past the halfway for the year. I am still in deficit, but probably will make 4500 ish km if the numbers converge. It is nice when things go well. I had problems this year. They are behind me now.

I have my second Covid vaccine and had only mild effects. My resting heart rate was up a bit but has come back down. I could not tell if the aches and pains were from the shot or just from my working out.

The TdF is on. I really hope that Slovenian is riding clean. People coming out of nowhere to win that race and then repeat the next year from a small country......

[lost-eternity]

Matchup Requests *CLOSED*

This was done as a trade instead of a standard match up, hence why I am permitting it. :)

Matchup for @stormra​

okie dokie I match you with...

I have to admit, this was a bit of a difficult one. It was really between Charles Grey and Sebastian. And it was close. But a few small details caused me to lean towards Grey instead of Sebby. I’ll explain why later on.

First of all, your love languages mesh rather perfectly

Charles Grey’s (inflated) ego causes him to thoroughly enjoy the praise and affection you lavish upon him

He enjoys being treated as a prince and has no inclination to returning these affections

It’s a selfish love but weirdly enough, it works

He also doesn’t give enough craps to care for society or propriety to be embarrassed or ashamed of your advances

He is quite inept at displaying physical affection and his attempts are half-hearted at best

It’s that blasted ego again

But he does try. In his own little way

He may (attempt to) awkwardly cook something for you, or more likely than not, force you to take fencing lessons

He always wins

And he goes really hard on you claiming that you would never learn if he went easy

It’s laborious and by the end of each session you are close to collapsing from exhaustion

Insert a lewd joke here, “Oh, my dear, if this is how easily you tire, I better condition you for my bedchamber...”

Yeah, it turns out he is a complete pervert sometimes

But fencing is one of the few ways he can actually express himself

Which seems a bit paradoxical if that expression is affection or love

But it is kind of cute.

He is determined to teach you, and although he may not be the most outwardly affectionate, the amount of time and effort he invests in you is enough to tell you how much he cares

He is a very busy man you know, running missions and odd errands for the queen

His free time is extremely precious for him 

So the mere fact that he is spending it with you is a lot more monumental than most people would assume

But you are smart enough to realise this

And that is one of the reasons I did not pair you with Sebastian. 

Sebastian is a lot more how shall we put it... salacious. His flirting is subtle in public but that bastard would do anything to make his lover blush, testing the limits of society and still managing to get by without being caught... somehow. It’s his way of exercising control and I think that would really clash with your love language. 

~

So,

Charles Grey is also a rather chipper fellow. 

Like "chipper" may be an understatement 

Excitable puppy man is more like it, at least when it comes to fencing... or maiming... the dude has weird hobbies

But he really understands your desire to travel. He is full of jittery energy that he uses releases running errands for the Queen, travelling across all of the UK. And really most of Europe running diplomacy missions and handling sensitive cases

He would probably be hesitant to allow you to accompany him

But you'd wear him down eventually 

Grey really understands your wanderlust, he has a hard time focusing on monotonous tasks or locations as well

So he may allow you to join him

With one *small* caveat 

You have to defeat him in a fencing duel first 

Which is absolute shit. But you understand where he is coming from.

That ego of his leads him to consider himself the best swordsman in Europe, if not the world

He figures that if you manage to strike him down then you could handle yourself with anyone 

And that is no small task

It seems entirely daunting and near impossible (which is probably another reason he assigned it)

And that brings me to my next point. 

Charles Grey needs some who is open minded and chill enough to out up with his shit

But also stubborn and outspoken enough to shut him down when he tries some spectacularly stupid

Which is why you would work well with him. Not only does your nonchalance perfectly foil his constant energy and inquisitive nature, but you also have set your boundaries and know when to shut down schemes and ideas

So yeah

You begin training extra hard

For maybe like a day

Then you give up

It's hard, everything hurts, you are exhausted, and all you MIGHT get out of it is one lousy trip

So you begin putting training sessions off

"I'm not feeling well."

"I'll start once I finish this book"

"Oooh, it's too late now"

To say that Grey would be discouraged and slightly hurt is an understatement 

His passion and life blood is fencing. He has worked really hard to get to this point and the fact that his significant other takes no interest in it wounds him

This could definitely be a point of discourse if your relationship 

But you have to remain open with each other and talk it out

That is the most important thing. Communication. And let's be honest. Charles isn't not going to say shit 

He is "too manly" or too egotistical to admit his feelings

You'd have to be the one to approach him on the matter

But I feel like you would. You are used to hearing problems from your friends. You know when something is wrong and better yet, you listen 

After a talk, he understands that it may not be the fencing specifically you are disinterested in

But you just struggle to maintain motivation 

And from that moment on, Charles Grey becomes your personal cheerleader 

He's the mom at a soccer game freaking s c r e e c h i n g and going "that's my girl!" whenever you win a match

He takes pride in all he does, and he is proud of his protégé

He never allows you to lose motivation and is (annoyingly) insistent about the fencing 

Which again, could lead to some arguments if you resist

But he is doing it from a place of love because he can see how miserable you are cooped up in the same place

He knows you

And finally, the day arrives that you set to duel Charles Grey himself. If you win, you get to attend some of his missions with him (others are too sensitive to risk being seen by a civilian)

You are understandably nervous, but also introspective. Honestly it is probably a tidal wave of emotions far too complex to convey with words

But ill try 

Let me just....

This morning was like most mornings.

A heavy fog blanketed the docile countryside, most animals just began to shake off the effects of the previous night's slumber. 

Commoners rose with the peeking rays of the sun, beginning to perform their routine tasks before the last of the fog had been burned away by the heat. For most people this day was completely, utterly, ordinary.

But not for you. 

This day meant everything. This day meant your freedom. 

You had risen before even the sun, shedding your skirts in exchange for ivory fencing gear, exchanging your fan for a rapier and your hats for a meshed mask. This had been your life for the past year, and would continue to be so until your final breath.

But today. Today was different. 

Today determined your future. And quite frankly, your sanity. 

And all you had to do was defeat your lover in close quarters combat. A monumental task in-of itself. Half of your acquaintances thought you mad, the other half patronized you, treating your struggle as a desperate cry for attention. They simply couldn't understand why a lady would go through such trouble as to challenge the country’s greatest swordsman. A woman's place was in the house, and in home is where she is complete. Why would she bother her pretty little head and sully herself in the wretched world around her? That was a man's job, such trifling affairs should be of no concern for a lady.

"She is odd, that one." They would say. But they didn't understand, how could they? 

Raised under the constrictive hand of the patriarchy, they were forced into complacency. A complacency so culturally ingrained that they themselves never sought to question it. Or, those that did often keeled to the whims of man's iron fist in fear of social ostracism and reputational backlash. 

But you were different. 

From childhood you felt the pangs, the longing to not only see but experience both the beauty and sorrow of the world around you. To learn and ingrain yourself with the cultures, to explore every nook and cranny of your planet. You could never understand why those around you seemed so content with living and dying inconsequentially, never experiencing the midnight sun or the sweeping winds of the steppe. Dying without ever truly living. Merely existing in their self-made reality, completely ignorant to the bright, beautiful world around them.

Why stay put when you can travel?

Why exist when you can live?

These questions, along with the persistent voice of your instructor (and fiancé), kept you focused and motivated. All of that training, all of those hours of arduous, grueling work had lead to this moment.

You stood within the fencing hall, the lack of bodies usually present caused the room to echo with each clicking foot fall on the tile floor. It was wide, empty, and entirely unwelcoming. It felt like a stranger to you, despite the year of training you had completed within its walls. 

Before you stood a similarly dressed figure, its face obscured by the dark meshing that covered the helmet. 

It was entirely impersonal.

A faceless enemy in a sea of a faceless crowd. 

But you knew better. His posture was all too familiar to you. The slight tilt of his head, the pitch of his shoulders, the strangely comforting steady hand in which he held his weapon. This was your lover, Charles Grey. And your opponent. 

It was definitely surreal. He rarely ever wore his mask in training. The absence of his characteristic gloating smile and talkative nature felt almost lacking. It was rare that he would be so quiet... so solemn. But he was just as aware of your current situation as you were. And how much it meant to you. 

Without a word, he raised his weapon and the battle commenced. 

It was an intense battle

With every blow he performed, your parried and dodged

With a feline grace, you danced up-top light heels, twirling and spinning in an almost melodic fashion 

Metal clashed against metal, each crack ringing through your ears

You had trained enough with him to know that he had a tendency to leave his left side unguarded and exposed

But he also trained with you to know that you can forget to guard your knees

And as the minutes tick by, marking one of the longest conflicts you had ever had with him, exhaustion sets into your bones 

And you falter

The blow is lightning fast, you hardly have a chance to comprehend his movements 

But his hips are besides yours, his knee hooked behind your leg. 

He pushed you backwards with his forearm, causing you to fall backwards, only to trip on his knee and slam against the ground

Something cool and metallic is pressed to the back your neck

You don't need to look to know it is the rapier and that you have lost

The sound of you two's laboured breaths echoes through the empty chambers

Several seconds tick by as the two of you gather your thoughts 

...You... lost

You finally turn yourself around, noticing that Charles had removed his fencing helmet

Damp silver hair sticks to his forehead, matted and plastered across his face

For a moment, a look of sorrow flickered across his handsome features, only to be replaced by that typical cheeky grin

"You lost, luv. Better luck next time, eh?"

You never really had much of a plan

But seeing that smug expression kicked your instincts into overdrive

With one fluid scissor sweep, you dislodged his balancing, a well-placed kick aiming where the sun don't shine toppled him over entirely 

And then he was on the floor next to you, his face contorted in an express of pain 

You were quick to discard his weapon and straddle him, keeping his wrists pinned above his head to the floor

"Lesson one: never trust your opponent"

You parroted this line to him, one he had told you many of times

He only managed a pained grunt in response

Chuckling, you apologized with a chaste kiss which he all too eagerly accepted 

He was probably just being theatrical to get more kisses

You did not have much time to ponder the situation before a polite round of applause erupted from a nearby alcove

You nearly jumped out of your skin

You did not notice the shawled figure, cloaked in all black, like a walking shadow 

The figure took a few steps forward, emerging to the light 

And that is when you realized who it was

Queen Victoria herself

By her side, astute as always was the man you practically considered a brother 

Charles Phipps

By now, you were extremely aware of the suggestive position you were in

Straddling Charles Grey, your hips against his, his wrists clasped tightly in your hands and pinned above his head

And oh, gods that insufferable smirk with which he was regarding 

"As you can see, your majesty, my darling is highly... proficient." Grey practically hummed

You quickly scrambled to your feet, unsure how to handle yourself in the presence of a queen

Turns out, Grey had invited her to witness your duel in hopes of securing you a position under her employ. Either as an emissary or housekeeper. 

According to Phipps, She was quite impressed by your performance, even though you lost

The only other person she had seen to be able to keep pace with Grey was Phipps... and a certain blonde who shall not be named

And that is the story of how you became the head maid for the Queen herself and an emissary on par with Grey himself, running missions as a husband-wife warrior squad, haha

~

You two probably met in an odd way

I’d say for a fact that you were attracted to Sphere music hall

It’s like that place was made for you

Semi-modern concert style music hall which people hailing from all backgrounds and classes intermingled together in harmony

Divinations and readings were done for free and in return, each patron was given a bracelet depicting their star sign. 

As a matter of fact, a lot had to do with the star signs. 

Meditations were conducted in between hours and food served

It was a really great place to go, somewhere you fit it because you had always been an outcast

Forced to keep your craft a secret in fear of retribution from the church, you usually made coin as a street performer and singer

It was not a lot, but it was certainly enough to keep you off the streets

Unfortunately that also meant you were constricted to the same place

Your family had consistently tried to marry you off to some rich white dude

Well, rich(er)

But you did not want to be wife and then a stay at home mother

That was somehow worse than your current situation

Also your opinionated and confident demeanour often scared off potential suitors

It was a serious problem because apparently women were supposed to be soft spoken and weak. 

But you on other other hand, never showed weakness

It was far too “masuline” apparently

So you decided to strike out on your own and try to make it as a singer

Easier said than done

In the music hall, you truly felt free to express yourself

Its charismatic leader put major emphasis on the stars and night sky, he was extremely introspective and the two of you instantly hit it off (I considered matching you with Blavat instead of Grey but I kinda feel like you two would work better as friends)

You were completely enthralled with his demeanour and exuberance

And you consistently attended the hall as it was the only place you felt you truly belonged, no one casting judgmental stares, no whispers behind your back, and most of all, you felt a sense of camaraderie that you have never felt before

And as a result, you fell victim to the cult

Initially, the Queen garnered concerns over the existence of this Music Hall and the traction it was gaining. As a result, she sent out her very own Charles and Phipps to scope out the place before sending word to Ciel Phantomhive

Infiltrating undercover as guests, the Queen’s handy butlers began an inspection of the area

There they ran into you

Literally

You were in the middle of entertaining a small portion of attendees with a song at the behest of Blavat himself (he was actually looking to hire you as a backup singer for the Starlight Four but you were not aware of this)

You were reaching the crescendo of your song when a drunken man slammed into you

You uttered an apology but he seemed rather intent on making himself a nuisance

“Watc’ yaaaa, yaaa stoopid *hic* bitccccc”

You took a few steps back in response as he staggered forward, raising a palm as if to strike you

Before you could react, a flash of white covered your vision

A man stood before you, sword drawn and dawned in a blindingly white coat

Silver tresses rolled down his back, as he glared up at your attacker from behind attractively long lashes

How he managed to sneak a rapier into the party was completely beyond you, yet here he was

“Now, didn’t your mama teach you manners?” He cooed, a slightly maniacal smile across his lips

“Yoooou wanna go?” The man sneered, “I can tak *hic* you pwetty boooy”

Of course, this scene began to attract attention

The murmurings and pleasant violin music had all but stopped as thousands of eyes turned to face you

Blavat had to step in, nervously defusing the situation

He had the drunkard escorted out and moved to confiscate the weapon from the white-clad man only to get the think pointed at his throat

“A man’s worth is in his sword. It would be cruel to take that away from him.”

You were entirely unsure if he was being literal or making a dirty innuendo with that statement

Regardless of his intentions, he was promptly thrown out as well

Much to the chagrin of a separate, similarly dressed man who seemed down right exasperated with his partner’s trigger happy (blade happy?) tendencies. 

You decided to follow this peculiar stranger out and thank him for what he did

You found him trying to crawl through a window, seeking re-entry into the part.

“Uh, excuse me...” You called to him as he fiddled with the lock on the window. You had no idea how he managed to climb up that high in such a short amount of time, but he had perched himself rather precariously on the window sill.

“Not right now, luv.” He called back, “I am busy.”

“I just wanted to thank you for what you did back there. I could have been hurt.”

He paused, not once looking back at you. “Right. Who are you?”

You were rather taken aback

He literally just saved you, how could he not remember you?

“Look, if you aren’t going to pay me the mind to even look at me, I won’t take the effort to thank you.” You huffed and turned to walk away

“I wouldn’t go back there if I were you.”

His voice caused you to halt in your tracks. You spun around to stare at him incredulously. “Excuse you?”

God, those silver eyes were breathtaking as he gazed at you, practically oozing with a feline grace

“Those people aren’t good people.” He stated in a matter-of-fact tone

“Oh? And what do you know about them?” You retorted defensively

“More than you, obviously.” He finally managed to pry the window open. “Her majesty has good instincts. She knows this place is dangerous, else-wise she wouldn’t have sent me.”

And with that weirdly convoluted and vague sentence, he slipped back inside and disappeared

You were left to ponder the meaning of his words

Her majesty?

This bloak knew the bloody Queen?!?!

What else did he know?

What could possibly be so bad about the hall?

You decided to call it quits early that night to process. You never thought you would ever see him again, or so you thought

~

You had been doing your research, sticking your nose in places you probably should not have

Blavat, someone you once considered a close and trusted friend almost seemed menacing to you

And he definitely picked up on your closed off body language

But you knew that something fishy was going on during those “private” events. Only specific people were ever invited (AKA not you)

It all just seemed really sus

And you were determined to find out

So you snuck in

Having spent many hours in the hall, you were aware of certain passages and entrances that others were not

And you were able to sneak in without much issue

But you weren’t able to see much

A heavy smoke filled the air, smelling pleasantly of posies and roses

Your eyes began to droop and heaviness set into your lids

And you fell asleep

You woke up, with the concerned and slightly perturbed face of Blavat staring down at you

Well, shit... busted

“We had a nice thing going, y/n. And you just had to ruin it.” Blavat stated callously. “You know those events are private.”

And with that, you were barred from entering the music hall... permanently

This was definitely rather devastating as it was the only place you could truly be yourself without fear of rejection of prosecution

But now you were more sure than ever that something was amiss in that hall

Why else would they be so strict?

You were probably only left alive because they knew that whatever gas they used to put out those in attendance also affected you before you could see anything incriminating

And so you began trying to locate that mysterious man in white 

He seemed to have more answers than you did

It did not take long to figure out his name and occupation. Charles Grey. Butler to the Queen herself

He must have been quite the impressive butler to be going out on scouting missions for the Queen and not just serving tea

Regardless, gaining an audience with him was nearly impossible 

So you would just have to attract his attention...

Somehow

Given his affinity towards sword fights, you were sure that a loud brawl outside the palace itself would almost certain garner his attention

The real question was, where in the world would you get people foolish enough to pull such a stunt and risk getting arrested

Sooo, maybe not that

You might have to work backwards

Ask around and find those that may be acquaintances with him

Which was a lot harder than it looked

It took days of searching, but you were eventually sent to speak with a mortician who according to your contact “knows everyone who is no one”... whatever that meant

It did not take too long to find out

This mortician was... eccentric to put it in the most polite of terms 

But he was definitely connected with Britain's underbelly 

Which you assumed is where the “everyone who is no one” comes from

You came in hoping to pay him off, to which he blatantly refused, instead asking for you to make him laugh

Which was an odd request but one which you were willing to comply if it meant breaking the case

You spent hours trying different tactics to no avail

Until you sang a very dirty and very perverted song (Most likely “God’s Loophoel”. Yeah, actually don’t look that up, it is exactly as it sounds)

He seemed to enjoy that far too much as his cackles were absolutely thunderous

In tears, he kindly revealed to you that he was familiar with this Charles Grey and could pull a few favours to get you in contact

But he never said when, nor did he ever say where

But he did ensure word of your snooping reached the ears of Charles Grey who surprised you in your own home whilst you were halfway dressed

He initially was very cross with you poking around, scolding you and chastising you saying that it was “no business for a lady”

But you shut him down pretty quick

And afterwards, the two of you hit it off and decided to make evening tea on Sundays a staple thing

Grey would inform you about the progress of the Sphere Music hall and in return, you would keep well away from it

It worked out for the two of you

But word of your sniffing around had also reached the ears of one certain earl and his own demonic butler

I would be careful about what questions you ask and where you poke your nose

We wouldn’t want it to get bitten off, now would we?

this was a lot of fun to write, I hope you enjoyed reading it, dear. Let me know what you thought

[ballumsecretvalentine]

Old Wounds (Ben/Callum) 

For the lovely @lucres. I hope you enjoy it! ♥️ (military!au, enemies to friends to lovers (kind of), ptsd)

Ben and Callum meet during training in the army. It’s not love at first sight.

“Oi, watch where you’re going!” Toby cries out, while half of what’s on his tray lands on the floor.

The soldier who knocked into him doesn’t bother to turn around and walks on.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!” Toby shoves his tray into Callum’s hand and goes after him. He stops the man before he can leave the dining hall, turning him around forcefully. Which is the wrong thing to do.

The man in question is Ben Mitchell, he is infamous at the training camp. Everybody knows Mitchell has a bad temper and that you don’t get in his way.

Callum leaves their trays at a nearby table and goes after them. And just in time. Mitchell has Toby by his shirt and even though Toby is taller than Mitchell, Toby seems to be the one who’s shrinking into himself.

“I-I-I’m sorry, mate. I didn’t realise it was you!” Toby is trying to talk himself out of the situation.

“I’m not your mate!” Mitchell snarls into Toby’s face. Before he can hurt Toby, Callum goes between them. It’s surprisingly easy to get Toby out of Mitchell’s hands.

“Come on, Mitchell. He didn’t mean anything by it!” Callum says, shoving Toby behind himself.

Mitchell takes a step back, musters Callum from head to toe, until he finally settles on Callum’s face, tilts his head a bit and smiles thinly.

“Protecting your boyfriend, then, Highway? I’d’ve thought you’d have better taste than that idiot.”

Callum blushes furiously, but he’s not backing down.

“He’s not my boyfriend. But leave him be, he hasn’t done anything to you!”

Mitchell is full on smirking now, his eyes never leaving Callum’s.

“See that he keeps out of my way, then,” he says and leaves.

Confused, Callum can’t do anything else but stare after him. Toby peeks out from behind Callum’s back, watching after the retreating figure of Mitchell. They’re both speechless.

Chris chooses that moment to enter the dining hall.

“What’s with you two? I thought you were getting the food in?” He asks his two stunned friends.

“Callum just rescued me from Mitchell and survived it without getting hurt,” Toby answers after a moment of silence. Chris opens his eyes comically wide.

“How did you manage that, H? Tell me your secret!”

Callum shakes his head. “I have no fucking idea,” he says in bewilderment.

They collectively turn to the door, where not a minute ago Ben Mitchell left through, look at each other, shrug and go back to their food.

~*~~*~

You see, Callum’s been training to become a soldier for six weeks now. And he loves every minute of it. Okay, so, they’re still in the UK and he’s not been assigned to a unit yet. But Callum always wanted to be a soldier, as long as he can remember. Once he realised it would open up the world to him (and that he’d get away from his dysfunctional family), Callum has wanted nothing more than this. Being part of a team, doing everything together, from sleeping, to training to eating. He loves all of it.

Well… not all of it. There is this guy, Ben Mitchell. Him and his friends are training in the same camp and they’re… a lot to deal with. Especially Mitchell. He goes out of his way to antagonise everybody, pretends to be a big man. But only when none of the officers are around. And nobody has the balls to report them.

They’ve been at the training camp longer than Callum and his friends; they will probably be assigned to a unit and be deployed somewhere around the world soon. It can’t be long now. They just have to keep their heads down and be invisible. They’d been lucky to escape Mitchell’s attention so far.

They being Callum, Chris and Tobey. They’d had become fast friends when they met on their first day of training. Luck would have it they were assigned the same dormitory. From that day on they did everything together. It helped that they all had a similar upbringing and bonded over that. For the first time in his life Callum felt like he belonged.

Toby just had to go and put himself and Callum on Mitchell’s radar, though. Callum doesn’t want the aggro; he wants to complete his training and go out in the world and do something good. He doesn’t wanna be beaten up by Mitchell before he can do that.

Callum tries not to think about it too much and somehow he seems to be in luck, because Mitchell doesn’t corner him. When they do happen upon each other, Mitchell just gives him a small smirk, sometimes even a nod and walks away.

One day, a couple weeks after the dining hall incident, Callum, Chris and Toby are walking back to their dormitory, when they cross paths with Mitchell and his friends again.

“Alright?!” Mitchell says, smiles a little and walks on.

Callum and his friends turn after the little group, their mouths open. Mitchell’s group of friends are looking back at them just as confused. Mitchel himself is walking on, oblivious to all of it. They start whispering, though Callum can’t make out what they’re saying because they’re already hurrying to catch up with Mitchell.

“What just happened?” Toby asks. Callum shrugs. He has no idea what to tell them. He doesn’t know what to make of Chris’ expression, who’s looking at Callum weirdly.

“Does that happen a lot?” he asks Callum. Callum shrugs again.

“No? I don’t see him often and if I do, he doesn’t talk to me?” It all sounds like he’s asking questions himself. He looks at Tobey, then turns back to Chris. “This was the first time since the dining hall,” Callum answers honestly. He doesn’t know what Chris wants to hear.

“If you say so.” Chris doesn’t seem to believe him. Callum has no idea why. Why would he lie about talking to Mitchell? It’s not like Callum is friends with him in secret. They’ve never talked to each other apart from that day he tried to help Toby. Callum is so confused.

~*~~*~

They’re getting ready for bed, only Chris and Callum are left in the bathroom. Callum’s just shaved and he’s washing his face when Chris starts speaking.

“I think he fancies you.”

“Huh? What? Sorry, what are you talking about?” Callum thinks he’s missed something, again.

“Mitchell,” Chris clarifies. “I think he fancies you. That’s why he’s nice to you.”

“What?” Callum turns to face Chris. He shakes his head. “Are you mad? How is Ben Mitchell nice to me? Any why the hell would him being nice mean he fancies me?” Callum feels like Chris is making no sense.

“Come on, H! You’re the only person who stopped Mitchell from hitting someone without getting hit in return. He greets you when he sees you! Today he smiled at you! Have you seen that man smile at anyone when it wasn’t in glee? No! I’m telling you, he fancies you!” Chris’ voice is getting louder with every word.

“Chris, mate. Calm down! Even if he did fancy me, I don’t fancy him. He’s not my type,” Callum tells him honestly.

“He’s not?” Chris asks quietly, Callum thinks almost hopefully.

“No, he isn’t. He’s not a nice person. I like kind people, who make others around them feel good. It’s more likely that I’d fancy you rather than Ben Mitchell.” Callum explains.

“Do you?”

“Do I what?” Callum is lost again.

“Do you fancy me, Callum?” Chris is looking at him seriously. Callum needs a moment to think.

“I never thought about it.” Callum says honestly, licking his lips. “I like you, a lot. You’re my best mate. But we’re in the army. I don’t wanna get kicked out for whatever reason.”

“Callum…” Chris takes a step towards Callum, puts a hand on Callum’s chest. Callum keeps looking at Chris and Chris’ hand and back again. But before Chris can continue, there is a commotion outside, and they spring apart like caught children.

Callum clears his throat. “I-I have to go now. To bed. Alone… erm.” He can’t look at Chris, takes his toiletries and leaves the bathroom.

~*~~*~

Callum hasn’t been alone with Chris since the bathroom incident. And isn’t it funny that he measures time in incidents now? His life! Anyway, he’s not avoiding Chris, no. He just… he wants to be honest with Chris. And before he can do that, Callum has to understand himself and his feelings. So, he avoids being alone with Chris.

Callum likes Chris. Who doesn’t? He’s friendly and outgoing and always there when someone needs help. He’s a good listener and very funny. And he makes Callum’s insides go all tingly. Does that mean he likes Chris? That he fancies him? He’s not sure. But there is only one way to find out.

~*~~*~

“I have to talk to you in private,” Callum says. Chris is in their dorm, on his bed, reading a book. He looks up at Callum.

“Okay,” is all he says. He stands up and gestures to Callum to follow him.

They leave the dorms, and head silently to the weapons barracks. There is a supply room, mostly for cleaning products and apparently that’s where Chris is headed. Chris goes in first, Callum following right behind. Chris checks the room, looks between the shelves that nobody is in there with them.

He abruptly turns to Callum who’s been following him like a puppy.

“Finally decided to talk to me, then?” he asks. He doesn’t sound angry. Callum is relieved.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to avoid you, but I also didn’t wanna lead you on.” Callum looks down and scratches his chin.

“I know, Callum. You’re a good guy. And I never meant to put pressure on you. It’s just, you started it and I thought it meant something and….” Callum stops him there, his hands going to Chris’ arms.

“Hey, no. It’s not your fault. I just needed time to think about my feelings.” He takes a deep breath. “I like you, too, Chris. It’s just that all of this is so new to me. Most of my life I didn’t let myself think about these things. You know about my family. There was no room for romance or hooking up. I just wanted to get out of there.” Callum stops for a moment. Chris is looking at him softly.

“I’d like to try, with you. If you’re willing to go slow. Because I don’t know how much I can give you.” Callum looks expectantly at Chris.

“As slow as you want, Callum,” he says. “Can I kiss you?” Callum nods, his mouth dry. Chris smiles at him, leans up to slot their lips together.

Their lips have barely touched when the door opens. They spring apart, Chris turning away from Callum. Callum turns to the door.

“Well, this looks cosy!” Ben Mitchell says, and smirks at them.

Callum feels cold all over. He gestures with his hands, all panicky. He doesn’t know what to say to make things better and Chris is no help.

“Don’t tell me, this one isn’t your boyfriend, either. Because that looked a lot like a kiss there, mate.” He emphasises on mate and Callum blushes again.

“We-we were just…” Callum starts, but Mitchell interrupts him.

“Yeah, I know what you were just. Get out of here and find some place that’s actually private to polish your guns.” Mitchell says, looking at Callum.

“We weren’t…” Callum tries once more, but again, Mitchell interrupts him.

“I don’t care. Just get out!” This time all mirth is gone from his voice, and Callum doesn’t want to take any chances. He turns to Chris, takes him by the arm and marches out. Mitchell doesn’t move, so Callum has to brush by him.

They’re both out of the room and Callum is just about to let the door fall closed when Mitchell speaks up again.

“Oh, and Highway?”

“Yeah?” Callum asks, turning back to look at Mitchell.

“You owe me!” Mitchell’s face is unreadable, but Callum knows he’s being serious. He nods and lets go of the door. When he turns around, Chris is nowhere to be found.

~*~~*~

Callum finds Chris back at their dorm and this time it’s thankfully empty of people. Callum sighs in relief and goes over to Chris’ bed.

“Hey, you okay?” Callum asks.

Chris nods. “Yeah, fine.” He stops. “Did… did Mitchel say anything to you?” He avoids Callum’s gaze.

Callum shrugs. “He said I owed him. D’you think that means he won’t say anything?”

“I don’t know,” Chris answers. “But I wouldn’t put it past him to report us. Let’s just take a break.”

“A break?” Callum’s eyebrows furrow. “We’ve barely started. We were gonna take it slow anyway. We’ll just be more careful about where we meet. Is that okay?”

Chris laughs. “And here I was, thinking I’m the experienced one, but it’s you talking me down, calming me. You’re amazing.”

Callum grins goofily. “And don’t you forget that!” He doesn’t give Chris a chance to answer, he leans down and steals a small kiss. Before Chris can react, Callum is already back on his own bed. Chris smiles indulgently and shakes his head. He’s in for something with Callum.

~*~~*~

The next day they don’t see Mitchell and they’re both glad. Callum isn’t sure Mitchell will keep shtum about what he saw. Chris on the other hand thinks they’re save but that they should still be careful when in public.

A couple days later they find out that Mitchell’s unit has finished their training and they’ve been deployed. No wonder they hadn’t had any trouble. When they find out about the news, Chris and Callum look at each other meaningfully. They’re finally safe to pursue whatever this thing between them is.

THREE YEARS LATER – Kandahar, Afghanistan

Callum is stressed. He’s supposed to be finished in the kitchen. They’re getting a new troop of soldiers today and it’s his job to show them around, to explain the workings of the base. And yet, here he is, still cleaning up. He’s gonna kill the others. Leaving him with all the work just to have a quick smoke, only to never come back. Callum mutters to himself, while running around and clearing away things.

He’s just putting away a stack of plates, having left the trays for last, when the door to the dining hall opens.

“It’s about time, you lazy sods,” Callum says without turning around. “Come and give me a hand, I should have been with the new troop 10 minutes ago.”

“Where do you want these, then?” an unknown and yet familiar voice asks a moment later.

Callum turns around and nearly drops the plates he’s carrying. He’s not sure he’s seeing right, but it’s Ben Mitchell. He’s in Callum’s kitchen and carrying a load of trays. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, doesn’t know what to say. Mitchell is the last person he expected to see.

“Did you forget where these go or is there another problem, Highway? I don’t have the time to stand around here all day.”

That startles Callum into action. He shows Mitchell where the trays go and they clear away everything in an uneasy silence. At least it feels uneasy to Callum.

When they’re done and leaving the dining hall, Callum turns to Mitchell.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“I’m with the new troop of soldiers. I’m their captain, to be precise. I was told you’d be showing us around and was coming to get you.” Mitchell answers.

“Ok, yeah, that makes sense. Even though this base is not small, I know most soldiers, even if it’s only by sight. And I’ve never seen you around here until now.” He chuckles nervously, running his hand through his hair. “Sorry, it’s been a hectic morning. Now, where did you leave your boys? I’ll show you to your sleeping barracks and where everything else is.”

They’re silent on their way to the others. Callum is shooting furtive glances at Mitchell, but apparently, he’s not being subtle. Mitchell smiles at him.

“Missed my face, have you?” He asks. Callum flushes again.

“No, um. Just didn’t expect to see you here. It’s been a while.” He’s trying for nonchalance. Mitchell’s look is telling him he’s not successful.

“Neither did I, and yet, here we are. Let’s catch up later, when we’re done for the day.”

Callum is too surprised to say no, so they agree to meet up later that evening, when all the chores are done.

Callum doesn’t know how it happened, but one day it became his job to show around the new troops. He guesses it’s because he’s always nice to everybody and no one has anything bad to say about him. And he doesn’t mind. This way he gets a feel for the new soldiers. He’s made some good friends thanks to his unofficial job.

Mitchell’s troop seems easy-going. There’s a lot of good-natured ribbing, some claps here and there, but no one seems to be an asshole. It’s not what he expects with Mitchell being their captain. But then again, just because he was a little shit when they were in training, doesn’t mean he can’t lead his troop.

Callum is much more interested in how Mitchell made captain in such a short time. He’ll have to ask later.

The tour takes the greater part of the morning and they end it where they began, back at the sleeping barracks. And Callum has to hurry to the dining hall, to prepare lunch. He takes one last look at the new troop, his eyes searching out Ben Mitchell. When they finally find him, Mitchell is looking back at Callum. Callum flushes and quickens his steps.

~*~~*~

They meet up at the barracks and head back to the dining hall. It’s the only place they can have a drink if they don’t want to leave the base. Callum’s a bit nervous and he’s still not sure why he agreed to meet up with Mitchell. But he can’t back out now.

The dining hall isn’t too busy tonight. A few people greet Callum loudly and beckon him over, but he just smiles at them and shakes his head. Mitchell leads them to a table in a secluded area.

“What you having, then?” Mitchell ask, not sitting down. “First round’s on me.”

“A beer, please.” Callum takes a seat, his eyes following Mitchell to the counter. He feels jittery but he wouldn’t be able to explain why if you asked him to.

Mitchell comes back with their drinks and sits down in front of Callum. Callum nods his head in thanks and takes a big mouthful of his drink to calm his nerves. Mitchell is smiling at him knowingly, taking a sip of his own drink.

“So, Mitchell,” Callum begins, but Mitchell interrupts him.

“Ben, please. Mitchell sounds so formal and we go way back.” He winks at Callum. Callum blushes.

“Okay, yeah. In that case, I’m Callum.” He stretches out his hand. Ben looks at it in amusement and lets Callum wait for a moment too long. Callum is about to take it back when Ben’s hand closes around his, firmly, shaking their hands. Callum’s blush turns a deeper shade and he lets go of Ben’s hand.

“So, Ben. How did you end up captain of your own troop? I thought it takes three years before you can make captain?” Callum asks, his hands going around his beer bottle for lack of doing anything better with them.

Ben studies him for a second and takes another sip of his beer. He shrugs.

“Right place, tight time. Saved someone important, got fast-tracked in captain training and here I am, commanding my first troop. It’s also a recent thing, so I’m just a few months short of those three years,” he answers.

“I didn’t know you were interested in leading.”

“What did you think I was interested in, Callum?” Ben arches an eyebrow, as if daring Callum to say something wrong.

“I don’t know. I just didn’t picture you as a captain, is all.” He laughs nervously, scratching at his chin.

“Have been thinkin’ about me, have you, Callum?” Callum wants to protest, but Ben goes on. “Just kidding. I didn’t picture myself leading a troop, either. But I actually like it. It’s difficult sometimes, stressful with so many men’s lives depending on your decisions. But it’s worth it.” He smiles.

“Sounds like you’ve found your calling.”

“Yeah,” Ben nods. “But it also keeps my mind busy, keeps me from doing stupid things.” He admits. “So, you know…,” he shrugs, trailing off.

Callum remembers their brief time together at training, so he just nods in return.

“How about you?” Ben asks. “Are you always on kitchen duty or was that a punishment for something you did?” He looks expectantly at Callum.

“Nah!” Callum shakes his head, smiling. “It’s part of my duties at base and I really enjoy it. As you said, it keeps my mind busy to cook for so many people. I don’t have to think about anything else.” He stops, feeling like he’s said too much. “Anyway, tell me more about this right place and right time. Who was the VIP you rescued? Anyone I now?”

Ben studies him again, and for a heartbeat Callum is afraid he’ll ask what things he’s avoiding, but Ben surprises him. He changes the subject and tells Callum all about the mission that went wrong but led him on the right path.

Before Callum realises, they’ve been talking for a couple hours and Callum has been enjoying himself. And from the look on Ben’s face, so is he. When Callum peeks at his watch, he’s surprised it’s gotten this late.

“This is it for me for tonight.” Callum starts. “I have to get up early tomorrow, training exercise.” Callum slowly gets up.

Ben gets up with him. “Yeah, me, too. Have to get acquainted with the other officers and get our orders.”

They both head outside. It’s gotten dark and even though it was warm during the day, it’s gotten colder now, and Callum hunches his shoulders to keep himself warm. He’s thinking about his bed, when a pat on his shoulder startles him.

“Well,” Ben says. “Let’s do this again, sometime soon. It was fun catching up.” He smiles at Callum.

Callum, still flushed from their drinks, smiles back and nods. Ben stares at him for a moment longer than he’s comfortable. He turns forward and his hand slowly slips from Callum’s shoulder, almost a caress. It sends shivers down his spine and Callum flushes even more.

They make their way to the sleeping barracks in silence, each lost in their own thoughts, before parting ways and bidding each other good night.

~*~~*~

Callum doesn’t know what he expected but having Ben at the base changes his life. They become friends and Callum is having the time of his life. He’s not forgot where they are, what they’re doing. How can you forget war? But Ben makes it bearable. And he thinks he does the same for Ben.

They spend a lot of their free time together, telling each other about their families and friends at home. Callum finds out Ben has a daughter, Lexi, who lives with her mum and that he visits her whenever he’s on leave. Showing Callum pictures of her proudly. Callum just grins at Ben and gushes about how cute she is.

On one of their rare nights off-base Callum finds out Ben is gay.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realise,” he apologises. He’d just pointed out the lady at the bar who had been eying up Ben for the last 15 minutes. Ben had just told him point-blank that he was gay.

“Wait, what about Lexi?” He asks, confused.

“Blimey, Callum. I thought you knew how babies were made?” Ben laughs. Callum flushes. Ben makes a throwaway gesture with his hand.

“It happened before I came out. I was young and trying to prove to myself that I wasn’t gay, trying to prove to my dad that I was his kind of man. It was a quick and very uncomfortable fumble.” He shakes his head. “Didn’t work, of course. When you’re gay, you’re gay. No amount of denial will help. One day it’ll want out. I’m glad I realised that early enough.” He smiles at Callum. “How about you?”

“What about me?” Callum is confused.

“When did you realise you were gay?” Ben asks. Callum feels caught out and then remembers that day with Chris and that Ben had caught them together.

“Right. Erm, yeah.” He stammers around a bit. “I-I, erm, I didn’t realise it for a long time, to be honest. My family wasn’t exactly tolerant, either, and growing up the way I did, I didn’t have time to think about girls or boys. It was about surviving. I realised it after I got out, when there was no one to put pressure on me. But I’m not out-out, you know, with the army being what it is. And being a soldier has always been my dream. So, I’m keeping it on the low. Hardly anyone knows, actually.” Callum shrugs, as if it’s no big deal, smiling a little sadly. Ben nods, knowing what Callum means.

“What about your boyfriend, though?” He suddenly asks.

“My boy-? Oh, no. I don’t have a boyfriend.” Callum answers.

“But I thought-?”

“No, Ben! There is no boyfriend!” Callum says resolutely, stopping any more questions. Callum doesn’t wanna talk about Chris, about what happened to him. Not even to Ben. And Ben seems to understand that. He changes the subject, distracting Callum from his gloomy mood.

~*~~*~

“Our units are doing a joint recce mission today.” Ben ambushes Callum outside the dining hall, startling him. It’s early morning. “You excited about going on a mission with me?” he asks cheekily.

Callum rolls his eyes, snorting. “Yeah, more like see you fail, you mean.” He grins at Ben, his eyes crinkling.

Ben grins back, clapping him on the back. “Go get ready, we’re leaving at 0800.”

They load up their vehicles, with weapons and provisions. They go over their mission objective one more time.

“Okay, boys,” Ben begins. “Our objective this morning is civil reconnaissance. As far as we know, the area we’re scouting out is only inhabited by civilians, so this should be easy. Get in, check out the infrastructure, the facilities. Keep your eyes open for any suspicious activity. Be careful out there! And watch each other’s backs. No man gets left behind!” The men confirm and pile in the cars and they head out.

~*~~*~

One minute they’re driving through the small town, the next they’re being shot at from all sides. They should have expected it, it had been too quiet, too empty. No normal civilian town was that empty.

Callum’s car gets rammed and before they can do it again and flip it, they’re all clambering out, weapons out, shooting at their ambushers. They take cover in an alley, piling behind a crumbling wall. Callum is trying his best, but it’s pure chaos.

Tony, their OC, keeps them together, tells them what to do. Their com-guy, Pete, sends out the message ‘Contact. Wait out’ to the base, letting command know what’s happened.

They’re supposed to look for the other team. Something about bigger numbers. Callum only hears half of it. Tony signals and they head out slowly, keeping cover. The other team is huddled behind their upturned car, getting shot at. Tony makes himself known through radio and Ben’s head turns in their direction. Thank God, he’s alive.

They agree that they’ll wait for a lull in the fire and that Tony’s team will cover Ben’s while they try to get to the safety of the wall. Not a minute later and there is the lull and Ben’s team is running over in twos. Ben’s the last one. He’s just about reached Callum’s unit when he’s shot and goes down. Callum’s heart skips a beat and he freezes. A thousand thoughts are running through his head, not again being the most prominent.

Someone says Ben’s alive, that he moved his head and Callum can breathe again. Then two of Ben’s men are running back for him, pulling him behind the wall.

Once back in relative safety, they pull out the first aid kit. They all have basic medical training, but Callum has helped out in the medic unit a couple times when they needed another pair of helping hands, so Tony tells him to get on with it. To keep Ben alive until they can be rescued. As if he needs to be told.

He inspects Ben’s wound as careful as he can, but Ben keeps groaning in pain. Callum says ‘it’s all right’ over and over again, not sure who he is trying to calm down, Ben or himself.

Callum can’t find an exit wound, so the bullet is still inside Ben. He hopes no vital organs were hit. Callum needs to stop the bleeding though, because he can’t do a blood transfusion out here. He pulls out as much gauze as he can and presses it on the wound. Ben’s body arches in pain and Callum shouts that he needs help to hold Ben down. Ben’s men surround them, lending a helping hand. He gestures to one of them.

“Here, put pressure on the wound. I need to inject him with anaesthetics and antibiotics.” Callum looks through the kit, finds what he needs. He’s thankful that the kits have measured medication and injects Ben first with the anaesthetics and then with the antibiotics.

Ben stutters out ‘Lex’ and Callum’s heart constricts. He has to keep Ben alive, Ben has a daughter who needs him. They all wait with bated breath and slowly Ben’s thrashing weakens and Callum sighs.

“Okay, let me take over,” Callum says, careful while taking over and putting pressure on Ben’s wound. It’s all they can do for now.

The shooting has ceased. Callum isn’t sure it’s because their ambushers have run out of ammunition or they’re waiting for them to come out.

Tony turns to Callum, points at Ben. “How is he?”

Callum shrugs. “There is no exit wound, so the bullet is still in there. We’re keeping pressure on the wound, to stop the bleeding. I’ve injected him with anaesthetics and antibiotics, so he’s calm for now. But he needs surgery. There is nothing else I can do here.” Callum answers truthfully.

Tony nods. “We’ve had contact with base. They’ll send out men our way. But they have to be careful not to get ambushed themselves, so it might take a while. See that he’s alive when they find us!”

“Yes, sir!” Callum affirms. Tony claps a couple guys on their shoulders and turns back again.

When Callum looks back down at Ben, Ben’s eyes are open and staring up at Callum. He’s trying to say something. Callum leans down.

“Th-thank you,” Ben whispers. Callum just nods.

“Hold on,” he says.

~*~~*~

It takes way too long before they’re found. Callum has to inject Ben a couple more times, fearing that any movement might dislodge the bullet and make things worse.

Ben is flown back to base, Callum goes with him, telling the medic on the heli how much medication he gave Ben.

The medic nods and gives instructions over to base to prepare the surgery. The bullet needs to be removed as soon as possible. When they land, Ben is rushed to surgery, but they stop Callum. He needs to be checked out as well. He nods reluctantly and lets himself be examined.

In Callum’s tired mind it takes longer than it should, but finally they’re told that Ben is out of surgery. But they’re keeping him sedated. He will need to be transferred soon, probably back home. Callum is just relieved that Ben’s alive. He hides out in his own bathroom and cries and cries and cries.

~*~~*~

It’s been three weeks and four days since the ambush and Callum is not okay. Ben’s been shipped home. They hadn’t been able to say goodbye, the medics had still kept him sedated.

Callum is going out of his mind, wants to contact Ben, wants to know how he’s doing. But he doesn’t want to come on too strong. He’d sent an email last week, telling Ben all about the goings-on at the base, who was being a jack and how his troop was doing without him. Telling him to write back when he was able to.

He hadn’t got an answer as of yet. And he knows it’s way too early and that Ben needs time to recover. And yet, Callum can’t stop worrying about it.

He has a bit of free time before he has to get back to training and heads off to the sleeping barracks. On his bed he finds an envelope, addressed to him. His name is written in a frilly hand. He picks it up, looks around, as if he can find a clue what it’s about. He shakes his head at himself, sits down on his bed and opens the envelope.

There are two letters and a picture in it. He picks up the picture first and his breath stutters. It’s a picture of Ben and Lexi, taken at the hospital. They’re both smiling at the camera. Ben is still pale, but he’s hugging Lexi to himself. Callum swallows a couple times, trying to keep his tears at bay. But it’s a losing battle.

He opens one of the letters and it’s actually a drawing. There are three people in it, two soldiers in green with a little girl in a pink dress in the middle, all holding hands. It’s supposed to be Ben and Lexi and Callum, the figures all having their names written underneath. In crooked letters it says: THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY DAD! Callum smiles through his tears. Lexi is so precious. He folds the drawing carefully and picks up the other letter. This one is from Ben.

Callum,  

Thank you for everything you’ve done to keep me alive. I’m feeling much better now. Thanks to you I got to see my little girl again. I’ll never forget what you did.  

I got your email. Sorry it’s taken this long to answer. Lexi absolutely insisted on sending you that drawing and no, it had to be the real thing and not on the computer, daddy. That’s what she said, so there you go.  

I hope Max is doing a good job as a deputy captain. And if not, I’ll be back in no time, you can tell him that. If you could still keep me updated about base life, I’d be grateful.  

Hope to hear from you soon.  

Ben xx  

Callum is crying full on now, not caring that someone might come in. He’s so relieved. For a moment out there, he’d thought he’d lost Ben forever and it’d scared him. Scared that it was happening again, that he was gonna lose someone important to him again.

But Ben is doing okay, he’s home with his daughter, recuperating. He smiles and brushes away his tears. Ben is doing okay, he repeats to himself. It doesn’t matter that he’s thousands of kilometres away. He’s okay and with Lexi and Callum will see him again. He’s sure of it. He folds Ben’s letter and puts everything away in the tin box he keeps in his bedside drawer for safekeeping.

Callum smiles, feeling a huge weight lift from his chest.

~*~~*~

That’s how it starts. They send each other letters when Lexi has something to send or when Callum wants to send something back to her. But mostly, they exchange emails. It’s easier and much, much faster. When Callum has the time, they even try to video chat. That’s how he meets Lexi for the first time. She’s a bubbly little thing and Callum can’t help himself but love her.

They’re on another video chat, and Lexi is present again. Ben’s already moved home, they’re sitting in the living room. Well, Ben is sitting, Lexi is coming and going, showing something or other to Callum.

They’re talking about Ben’s training, when he’ll start again, when Lexi interrupts them.

“Daddy, is Callum your new boyfriend?” They both freeze, Callum blushing furiously.

“Er, no princess. We’re really good mates.” Ben tells her.

“So, he’s not like Paul?” She asks innocently, looking at Ben with huge eyes. Ben stills and Callum thinks their stream has frozen but Lexi is still moving, so it must be just Ben.

“No, darling.” He says after a while, blinking rapidly. “Paul was different.”

Lexi shrugs. “Okay!” She says and runs away again. Ben turns to Callum.

“Look, Callum, I have to go. Talk to you soon, yeah?” With that Ben tuns off the stream, not giving Callum a chance to say anything else.

Callum would be lying if he said he wasn’t hurt by Ben ending their conversation so abruptly. He guesses it was because Lexi mentioned Paul. Who was apparently Ben’s ex? Callum wonders what happened between them to make Ben react that way, but he soon gives up. He doesn’t wanna make a big deal out of it.

But when he doesn’t hear from Ben for a couple days, he wants Ben to know that he’s there for him, no matter what. So, he decides to send Ben a short email.

Hey Ben!  

Haven’t heard from you in a while, hope you’re okay. You know you can tell me anything, right? I won’t judge you. No matter what!  

Callum xx  

~*~~*~

Callum doesn’t hear from Ben for two more weeks. He’s freaking out again, wondering what’s happened. Normally Ben sends Callum a message every couple days, sometimes just pictures of him and Lexi and Lola and Jay, who are Lexi’s mum and Ben’s brother. Sometimes they’re just one-liners, that PT is killing him but that he wants to get better as soon as possible.

But he gets nothing for two weeks, even though he’s sent countless messages. Wait, perhaps that’s why Ben isn’t responding? Is he annoyed with Callum?

Before Callum can freak out properly, he gets a notification about a new email. His heart is in his throat. Is it an email from Ben? Gingerly he checks and… yes, yes, it is. Callum tries to calm down his heart, who knows what Ben will say. He takes a deep breath and starts reading.

Callum,  

I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to write to you. I was confused and not sure how to tell you what I’m about to. Do you remember Lexi mentioning Paul? The last time we spoke? Yeah.  

Even though we’ve talked about a lot of things, I never told you about Paul. He was my first boyfriend, my first love. He was the reason I came out. I loved him and I wanted to be with him, no matter what my dad said. And for a short while, we were happy.  

You remember my dad? I only told you that he had dodgy dealings. The truth is a bit more complicated. The people he’s in business with are crooked. One day my old man did something they didn’t like. A group of his business associates happened upon me and Paul, probably looking for me. They knew I was his son. They thought if they roughed me up, it’d send a message to my dad.  

When they attacked me, I tried to make Paul run. But he didn’t, wouldn’t leave me back. He was beat up severely, we both were. They didn’t find us for a couple hours. Our attackers had left us behind, hidden in an alley. When they finally found us, it was too late for Paul.

Paul was a diabetic and combined with the injuries he’d sustained, he never woke up. He was in a coma for a long time, until his family decided to take him off life support.  

The bastards who attacked us didn’t know that my dad had disowned me. By that time, I hadn’t been part of his family and their attack didn’t change that. They killed Paul for nothing. My dad didn’t even bat an eyelash when he found out. That’s how much he hated having a gay son.  

I don’t know what I would have done without Lexi and Lola and Jay. They were all that was keeping me alive. My head was a mess and I was ready to end it. Lola had Jay and I knew he’d be a good father to Lexi. But just the idea of leaving her, of her thinking I didn’t love her enough to stay alive kept me going. I wanted to be a better dad to her than my own.  

That’s how I joined the army. It was never out of interest and love the way you did it. I knew I needed to get away, clear my head. And joining the army was the easiest way, without giving up on my family. It would take me away and during training I could live out my fantasies of killing those bastards that attacked Paul and me. But I could always return to my family.  

Lexi never met Paul, she only knows him from pictures. But I told her about him. I wanted her to know, even if she was too young to properly understand.

I’m sorry I freaked out on you. I didn’t know what to do when she mentioned Paul. I wasn’t ready to talk about him. You’re one of my best mates, Callum, and I like you, a lot. I just didn’t want you to think badly of me.  

I hope you can forgive me for my long silence. Take care of yourself and don’t be a stranger.  

Love, Ben xx  

By the time Callum finishes reading, he’s crying. His heart aches for Ben and what he went through. But he also knows he’s one of the few people who might understand what happened to Ben. He decides to write back right away, before Ben gets the wrong idea.

Ben,  

I’m sorry you went through all that and that your dad doesn’t understand what he has with you. I’m glad you have Lexi, Lola and Jay and that they kept you from doing something terrible. This world would be poorer without you. I’m happy you’re alive and that you’re my friend.  

I guess it’s time to tell you my story. I know you know about Chris. Chris Kennedy, who was in training with us. I remember the day you caught us so vividly. It was our first kiss. And before we could get anywhere at all, you were stood at the door, scaring us.  

I actually thought you’d report us, don’t ask me why. But Chris was adamant you wouldn’t. When we found out that your unit had been deployed, we were happy. We felt safe. And we were. We had time to explore whatever it was between us and we fell in love.  

It was easily the happiest time of my life, those 42 weeks of training with Chris. We spent most of our time at training together and when we had time off, we met up and spent more time in each other’s pocket.  

It happened on our last holiday before our unit got deployed. Chris had left the training camp earlier, wanting to visit his sister, before we met up that evening. It was Valentine’s Day and we’d planned a romantic dinner, away from prying eyes.  

Chris and I never met up that evening. I waited for him, but he never showed up. I was angry, but mostly I was disappointed. I tried reaching him, but he didn’t answer his phone. I called his sister, Vicky. When she told me he’d left hours ago, we both started worrying. But we couldn’t do anything.  

When Vicky finally called me, it was to tell me that Chris had been in an accident and that he was dead. He was on his way to meet me when another car crashed into him. The other driver was drunk, way over the limit. Chris died on impact, while I was sat at home, being angry and disappointed at him.  

I struggled with that, couldn’t get back to training for a while. It’s why I didn’t ship out with my initial unit. I took leave for a few weeks. Visited Vicky and helped her with Chris’ funeral.  

When I was ready, I finished my training and left with another unit. I haven’t seen her since. I couldn’t deal with going back home, facing Vicky. She never blamed me, but it’s hard to get over the fact that Chris was on his way to meet me. Had he stayed with Vicky, he might be alive today.  

The last time I talked about Chris was with Vicky, before I returned to training. She said she was happy that Chris and I got to love each other, that she’d never seen him so happy. Chris apparently used to write letters to her about me, even before we got together.  

I loved hearing that, but it was also painful, knowing I’d never have that again. So, I left and never returned home. Even when we get back from deployment, I always stay at home base. There’s nothing out there for me without Chris.  

When you asked me about Chris, I clamped up, even though you didn’t say his name. The people in my new unit don’t know about Chris, so they’ve never asked me. When they wanted to know why I deferred finishing training, I told them it was personal, and they left it at that. And I’m grateful that you didn’t press me when I didn’t wanna talk about him.  

But it was time now, to tell you all about it. I hope you know that I do understand what you went through with Paul and that if you ever need to talk about him, I’m here. I might not have known him, but you can tell me all about him.  

I’ll always be your friend!  

Callum xx

A couple days later Callum gets a short email from Ben, telling him to take his overdue holiday and to come visit him in London.

ONE MONTH LATER – London, England

Callum hasn’t been back in the UK for about 6 months. He’s missed it, of course, he has. Everything is familiar here, the people, the streets and even the weather. But most of his friends are in the army and he hasn’t heard from his family in ages. So being back feels strange.

But Callum is excited about the upcoming two weeks, to see Ben again and to finally meet Lexi in real life. Ben had offered up the guest room in his house and Callum had accepted. He liked not having to deal with the hassle of finding a hotel room that’s not too expensive and checking in and checking out. Callum hadn’t specified when he’d be arriving when he’d last talked to Ben, just that it would be sometime today.

When Callum arrives in Walford, he finds himself in the middle of a market, with people shouting about their wares and punters looking for the cheapest prices. Callum stops by one stand and asks for direction. Ben seems to live nearby, not even five minutes away.

At Ben’s door, Callum hesitates. He’s excited, but it’s a nervous excitement. He doesn’t know how it will feel to see Ben again. He checks his clothes one last time, takes a deep breath and knocks. After a moment Callum hears ‘I’ll get it’ from inside and the door opens.

Callum’s breath catches, because it’s Ben who’s opened the door. Ben himself freezes for a moment before throwing himself at Callum and hugging him tightly. Callum is surprised but he lets go of his bag and hugs back just as tightly. They stay in each other’s arms, swaying slightly, until a female voice from inside the house interrupts them.

“Ben? Who is it?”

Callum opens his eyes (and when had that happened?) and looks behind Ben. He recognises her from the pictures Ben had shown him, it’s Lola. Ben lets go of Callum but keeps his hand on his arm and turns back to Lola.

“Lo, this is Callum.” He gestures from Callum to Lola. “Callum, this is Lola.”

“Come in, come in,” she says and pulls Callum inside and into another hug. She whispers ‘thanks for saving him’ into his neck, lets go and leads him into the living room.

The room is spacious, neat and yet lived in. It’s painted in a pale blue with no wallpaper. There are a couple toys lying around. Lola goes to get Callum a drink, while Callum and Ben take a seat.

Callum keeps looking around, still nervous. When his eyes finally land on Ben, Ben is smiling at him. Callum blushes but grins back. That’s how Lola finds them, grinning at each other like idiots.

“So, Callum,” she puts down his drink in front of him and sits down beside Ben. “How was your journey?”

Callum takes a sip and shrugs. “It was okay. Our regiment returned to home base, so it was rowdy and loud, but fun.” He gestures at Ben. “Ben here probably remembers how it is, everyone is just excited to return to their families. It was a good excuse to come and visit.” He smiles at them both.

Ben nods knowingly. Callum has a difficult time keeping his eyes off him, studying every little detail about him. Ben looks good though, he seems fine. There are no obvious signs of pain. Callum is relieved.

Suddenly Ben claps his hands and startles Callum. He grins wide at Callum’s reaction.

“So, you ready to have fun the next two weeks, then?” He asks.

“Sure, if your injuries don’t prevent you from going out and about.” Callum shrugs.

“He’s supposed go out, Callum. Being cooped up at home is no good for him.” Lola intervenes. Ben shoves her, making them all laugh.

“Okay, come on,” Ben says, getting up. “I’ll show you to your room. You can come down when you’re ready. When I get back with Lexi from school, we’ll all have lunch together. After that we can decide on a battle plan for your holiday.” He smiles at Callum, who follows after him.

Ben shows him to his room. It’s small but comfortable and it has an en suite bathroom.

“So, you won’t have to fight with anybody else in the mornings. And it’s big enough to accommodate all of you” Ben says and winks at Callum. Callum flushes again and wonders if he stopped turning red once since he entered this house. Probably not.

Ben’s face turns serious after a moment.

“I’m glad you came,” he says quietly and licks his lips. Callum’s eyes follow the movement.

“So am I.” He answers just as quietly. They’re finally alone and Callum can’t look away from Ben, studies his face, tries to see if he looks different from what he remembers.

Ben’s lost his tan and the bags under his eyes are more prominent, but apart from that he looks the same. He looks good. Not deathly pale anymore. Callum might even say happy. It’s probably because of Lexi. Callum would be happy, too, if he had her around.

When Callum realises that Ben is studying him in return, the air around them changes, feels thick with tension. Callum feels unsure and clumsy. He scratches at his chin, doesn’t know what to do with himself.

But as always, Ben seems to understand without Callum having to say anything and he looks away first. He claps Callum on the back and turns to leave.

“I’ll let you get settled. I might be out getting Lexi, depending when you’ll come downstairs. Please make yourself at home.” With that he closes the door quietly and leaves Callum alone with his thoughts.

Callum sits down heavily on the bed and buries his face in his hands. He breathes slowly counting till ten, trying to calm down. He doesn’t understand why Ben has this effect on him, why he feels so alive when they’re together and yet parts of him want to run away and hide from the world.

Callum feels confused but he hasn’t had anybody to talk to since Chris died, no one to tell about his feelings. Ben’s come close, but Callum can’t talk about these feelings with him. Not yet. He takes one last deep breath and gets up and starts unpacking.

~*~~*~

When he gets downstairs after having taken a shower, the house is empty. At first Callum wants to sit down and wait for Ben and Lexi, but he feels strange doing nothing. And Ben had mentioned something about lunch, so Callum wanders into the kitchen and looks around. He doesn’t see any prepared food. He rummages through the fridge and the cupboards - Ben had told him to make himself at home, so - and finds a few things he can turn into something edible and gets going.

The backdoor opening startles Callum. He sets down the knife and turns around to see Ben ushering Lexi in.

“–things away and go get washed, little madame. We’ll have lunch in a bit.” Ben is just saying but seeing Callum in the kitchen stops him. Callum waves, smiling nervously.

“Hi! Erm, I was bored, and you told me to make myself at home? So, I cooked? I hope you guys like Spaghetti Bolognese?” Callum babbles.

“Wow, you’re really tall!” Lexi interrupts, making Ben snort and Callum laugh.

“Yeah, I am a bit tall. Sorry,” Callum says, crouching down. He looks at Ben, before he stretches his hand out to Lexi. “Nice to finally meet you in person, Miss Lexi.”

Lexi looks at Callum’s hand and then up at her daddy. Ben nods at her. She takes a couple steps towards Callum, ignores his hand, and hugs him. Callum feels overwhelmed but hugs her back. She’s such a tiny human.

“Okay, let him go, Lex.” Ben interrupts them. “Now, go and get ready. And remember to wash your hands!”

Lexi lets go of Callum. “Okay, daddy,” she says and skips out of the room, already taking off her coat and backpack. Callum looks after her, smiling.

“She really is something, Ben. You’ve done well with her.”

“That’s mostly Lola and Jay’s work, what with me being away so much. But her gobby mouth, that she definitely gets from me.” Callum grins at that, looking down. He scratches at his chin.

“I hope you don’t mind that I cooked.” He says after a moment of silence, feeling shy.

“Nah,” Ben shakes his head. “I was gonna order Chinese. A home cooked meal is much better.” He smirks at Callum. “And definitely something I could get used to!” Ben winks, making Callum blush. He rolls his eyes and turns away. He spies a kitchen towel and throws it at Ben.

“Help me set the table. I’ll be done with the salad in a minute and we can eat.”

“We’ll have to wait for Lola and Jay. I’ll text them to hurry up.” Ben answers and goes to take off his own coat.

Not five minutes later Lola is coming in with Jay and introductions are being made. They set the table together, Callum plates up and they all sit down to eat.

He watches Ben with his family, tries to get a feel for their dynamics. Lexi is obviously the little princess of the family, with everyone doting on her. Lola tries to set boundaries for her. He catches Ben winking at Lexi and her grinning back at him. Callum is glad Ben gets to come home to this. That he has a little daughter who loves him very much.

~*~~*~

That first night Callum has trouble sleeping. He’s been tossing and turning around, but he can’t sleep. He checks the clock on the bedside table and groans. It’s too late to be awake but definitely too early to get up yet. He sighs.

He decides to try warm milk. He’ll be a walking zombie come morning without any sleep. Lexi has been excited to spend the day with him and her dad. He can’t disappoint her.

He makes his way downstairs quietly, not wanting to wake up the others. In the kitchen, he pours himself some milk and puts in the microwave to heat it up. He watches the timer, so he can stop the microwave before it dings. He carefully sits down at the kitchen table, blowing on his hot milk.

A throat-clearing startles Callum out of his thoughts. He doesn’t know how much time has passed, but his milk isn’t hot anymore, so that should be an indication. He looks up and sees Jay standing in the doorway. They smile at each other.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Jay asks. Callum shrugs. “Yeah, Ben always has trouble sleeping the first couple days when he comes back home, too.” He gestures at Callum’s cup. “Is that hot milk?”

“It was.”

Jay get himself a glass of water and sits down with Callum.

“So, how you finding it, being back?” Jay asks.

“It’s strange, because life over there is so contained. Sure, we do have our routines, and we go out and have a drink. But it’s the same faces every day. Everything out here is so big, so crowded, like I could get lost any minute. I’m not sure which I like more.” He laughs. “I don’t know. Am I making sense? It’s very late and my brain is sleepy.”

“Yes, it does.” Jay nods. “Ben said something similar when he came home that first time. You’ll get used to it.” Callum smiles at him.

“I wanted to thank you for what you did for Ben. For keeping him alive.” Jay says after moment of silence. Callum isn’t smiling anymore.

“There is no need for that. I-” Callum starts, but he doesn’t get very far.

“Ben told me what happened. Well, as much as he remembers, anyway. And that’s mostly you. Keeping him alive. Talking to him. Calming him. The rest of it is a blur.”

“Not for me,” Callum says quietly and promptly covers his mouth. Stopping himself from saying more. He shakes his head, hoping Jay will understand.  

“Okay, well. I’m off to bed.“ Jay finally says. He seems to have the same mind reading ability as Ben does. Callum is grateful. "You should head up soon as well. Lexi will run you ragged tomorrow!”

“Ta. I’ll just finish this.” Callum points at his cold milk.

Jay looks at him for another moment, before nodding and heading out. Callum sighs, feeling the tiredness pulling at his eyes.

~*~~*~

Callum loves being with Ben and his family. They’re a tight knit unit, much like those in the army, sometimes brash and loud but he can see love in their every interaction. The mornings are his favourite, when they’re all running around, getting Lexi ready, making her breakfast, packing her lunch. It looks like he’s watching a choreographed play, with Lexi always being the centre of attention. And she obviously enjoys it.

These last couple days they’ve been exploring the city together. Callum is no stranger to London but discovering things from Ben and his family’s perspective is fun. It makes him see London in a different light.

Lexi demands a lot of Callum’s attention, just as with the other adults in her life, wanting to show him her favourite animals at the zoo, or that café her mummy took her. And look, there is a fair here, can we please go?

Callum knows he’s a pushover when it comes to her, but he loves seeing her smile. It reminds him so much of Ben. So, he spoils her a little (a lot). Lola’s told him off already, but Ben had grinned at him, not being able to say no his little girl either.

A couple of times he’s managed to wander around on his own, when everybody’s been busy. He didn’t mind. He’d just took off and walked around, trying to get lost in the bustle of the city. He loves being back here. And a little part of him doesn’t want to go back. He wants to stay here forever, with Ben and his family.

~*~~*~

Callum checks his hair in the mirror one last time, smooths out his shirt. This will have to do. They’re going out tonight, Lola, Jay, Ben and Callum. Ben wants to show him his mother’s gay bar. Apparently, Kathy – Ben’s mum - had been inspired by him. Ben had laughed, when he’d told Callum the story. His mother had wanted to find him a steady boyfriend and thought opening up a gay bar would bring all the boys to Ben. Only, Ben had left for the army and was still single.

Callum thinks it’s a lovely gesture. His mum left them when Callum was too young to remember her, having had enough of her violent husband. They’d never heard from her again.

And now Callum is going to meet Ben’s mother. He is nervous. He wants her to like him. He’ll be on his best behaviour. He nods to himself and goes to join the others.

The Prince Albert is not too far from they live, so they walk over there. Lola has linked their arms together, telling him outrageous stories from when they were teenagers. Callum thinks she’s exaggerating and looks to Jay. Jay shakes his head. Ben is just grinning. He thinks he should be afraid, but he’s mostly entertained by their antics. Soon after, they arrive at the bar.

The bar itself is packed, the music blaring loudly. There are posters of half-naked men and women, but they’re tasteful. Everything is bright and colourful. Callum likes it.

They make their way to the bar, Lola and Jay going to secure a table. A couple minutes later, with drinks in their hands, they find them in a corner booth, talking to someone. When she turns around to greet them, Callum realises it’s Ben’s mum. She’s a gorgeous lady with a big smile.

Ben hugs her and turns to introduce Callum. She ignores his hand and hugs him tightly, patting his back. Right when Callum is starting to feel uncomfortable, Ben saves him.

“Mum, let him go. You’re embarrassing him.”

She lets go of Callum and he can see that she has tears in her eyes. She smiles up at him.

“You’re my hero, Callum. Thank you for saving my boy. I don’t know what I would have done, if I’d lost him.”

Callum ducks his head, overwhelmed by her reaction. He can feel himself tense, clenching and unclenching his fists over and over again.

“She’s only saying that because I haven’t annoyed her, yet, today. As soon as I say something she doesn’t like, she’ll tell me off, forgotten all about my injury.” Ben says theatrically, taking the attention from Callum. Callum is grateful. He counts to ten, breathing deeply.

“Oh, shush,” Kathy says and claps Ben’s back playfully. Ben holds up his hands, pointing to his mother, making everybody laugh. It loosens the tension inside Callum a little.

Kathy turns back to Callum. “I’m Kathy, by the way. Come, sit, let’s all have a drink.”

~*~~*~

As the night goes on, Callum slowly relaxes again. Kathy has tons of embarrassing stories about Ben, making him pout and everybody else laugh. Apparently, Ben is a huge musical fan and he used to put on Kathy’s dresses and re-enact his favourite scenes, singing and dancing. Callum has tears in his eyes, he’s laughed so much and asks whether there are pictures he can see.

There is a brief moment when he feels uncomfortable again. He’s gone up to the bar to get the next round in, when a stranger comes up to him. He nods at Callum, trying to smile, but it mostly looks like a grimace.

“Haven’ seen you ‘ere before,” he slurs, smelling like a distillery. Callum just looks away.

The man nudges him, trying to get his attention. “Hey, whazz you name?” He smacks his lips, making Callum flinch. He’s too close for comfort.

“Sorry, mate, not interested,” Callum says, trying to move away furtively.

Before the other man can say something else, Ben slides up to Callum, crowding his space, putting his arm around Callum. Callum tenses for a heartbeat but relaxes when he sees it’s Ben. He tries for a smile. Ben just nods.

“You need help with the drinks, babe?” he asks, putting himself between Callum and the drunk guy.

“Yeah, thanks,” Callum answers, blushing. He leans into Ben, feeling safe. They smile at each other.

The drunk guy gets the message and leaves, mumbling into his drink.

Callum sighs in relief, turns to Ben.

“Thank you for that. I don’t think he would have left me alone without you.”

“You’re alright,” Ben winks at him. Callum blushes again, looking down. They wait in comfortable silence, still leaning into each other and join the others when their drinks are ready.

Halfway through the evening, Kathy says her goodbyes, hugging Callum again and telling him to come around for breakfast soon. Callum promises he will.

With Kathy gone, Lola pulls them all to the dancefloor, saying they all need the stress relief. Callum feels clumsy, too flaily in his big body, but Ben insists, pulling out the puppy eyes and Callum gives in. He does feel embarrassed, but he’s with his friends and they’re all having fun, laughing. Lola is right, it’s a relief to let go.

When they call it a night, Callum is pleasantly buzzed. He’s flushed and feels sweaty, but the walk back home cools him down a bit. When they’re back, he turns to Lola.

“Thank you for tonight. I didn’t know I needed that.” He kisses her on the cheek.

“Anytime you wanna go out again, you know where to find me,” she says, smiling up at him sweetly. He kisses her again, making Jay protest.

“Oi, that’s my missus. Enough of that!” Jay is definitely drunk. Lola snorts.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s get you to bed, mister.” She turns to Callum and Ben. “Goodnight, boys!” She pulls Jay towards the stairs, patting him on his back.

Callum looks after them fondly.

“They’re good together,” He says, turning to Ben.

“Yeah,” Ben nods. “They’ve been it for each other for a very long time. It just took them a while to work things out.”

“Because of you and Lexi?”

“That, too. They had other things keeping them apart as well. But all that is ancient history, now. Jay loves Lexi as if she were his own. We’re a family. Hell, with me being away so much, he’s had to step up even more. I’m just happy my little princess has one more person fighting in her corner.” He smiles up at Callum.

“She’s lucky to have all of you.” Callum comments. He’s about to head upstairs as well, when Ben stops him.

“Listen. I hope my mum didn’t make you uncomfortable. It’s just, to her, you’re a hero, because you saved her son.” Ben points at himself. “She’ll love you forever now.” Ben’s grin is infectious.

“No, she was alright. She loves you and she shows it.” Callum swallows, feeling his throat close up. “Erm, I’m gonna head up. It’s been a long day. Good night, Ben.”

Ben stops him again.

“You sure you’re okay, Callum?” Ben asks, concerned.

“Yeah, just tired. Not used to going out anymore.” He tries to smile. But he can see on Ben’s face that he’s not doing a good job. “Just need a good night’s rest. I’ll see you tomorrow!” Callum turns and quickly makes his way to his room.

~*~~*~

Ben is lying there motionless, his uniform drenched in blood. The heat is overwhelming, coupled with the cacophony of being shot at from everywhere. And Ben is lying there motionless. Callum wants to go get him, check his pulse. Do something! But the others are holding him back, telling him it’s too late. No, it’s not! Not Ben, too! No, no, no��

Callum opens his eyes, his heart racing. He sits up, looking around frantically. For a moment he doesn’t remember where he is. Just a second ago, Ben was… Callum closes his eyes. Yeah, okay. Another nightmare. He sighs. He puts his face in his hands, breathing deeply, trying to calm his heart.

When it doesn’t work, he gets up, opens his window, letting in the cool night air. Hoping it will help. He walks up and down, trying to lose the jittery energy, but to no avail. The room is too small, and he can only take two steps before he has to turn around. He runs his hands through his hair, pulling at it occasionally. His mind won’t shut up, taking him back to the ambush. Callum feels like his heart is gonna explode out of his chest. He needs to get out of this room. He needs more space or he’ll suffocate.

He grabs a hoody and leaves his room as quietly as he can. He doesn’t know where he wants to go, but he can wander around, try and clear his mind. When he turns into the kitchen, he stops abruptly.

Ben’s sitting at the kitchen table, an unopened beer bottle in his hand, staring at nothing. He startles when he hears Callum come in. Their eyes lock.

Ben’s eyes are red, he looks like he’s been crying. Callum hesitates. Should he go back? But he can’t leave Ben like this.

“Can’t sleep?” He asks hesitantly, gets a beer and sits down beside Ben. Ben doesn’t say anything.

Callum plays with his bottle, not opening it yet. Ben sighs.

“Nightmares,” he says quietly. “You know, about-.” He stops, his hand moving to his now healed wound.

Callum stills, bottle forgotten in his hand. He turns to Ben slowly, studying him.

“I know about those,” he finally says. “Had one myself.” Ben looks at him. Callum shrugs.

“How’s PT going?” He changes the subject, needing to forget about nightmares.

“It’s not, actually.” At Callum’s confused look, Ben explains. “Apparently there is something wrong with my left ear.” He sighs, shaking his head. “They-they don’t know if I can return to active duty.”

Callum is shocked. Ben hadn’t said anything about more injuries. No one had.

“I thought you were getting better?”

“Yeah, the bullet wound is all healed up, it has been long enough. And there is no lasting internal damage. But the ear, it’s a recent development, probably after effects of how I landed after I got shot. They don’t know how it happened, but there is some damage and…” Ben stops, pulling something small out of his ear. “Didn’t you notice this little thing?” He asks, showing Callum a little earpiece.

He wants to answer, but Ben stops him, putting it back in. He shrugs at Callum’s curious look.

“I can’t hear much without the aid. They don’t know if my hearing will come back or not. I’ll have to get check ups every couple weeks. And till then, I’m staying here.”

“Oh!” Callum says quietly. “I didn’t realise. And you never said anything. Why?”

Ben shrugs again, biting his lips. “I didn’t wanna ruin your holiday. Talking about maybe not returning to the army? Not so much fun… And I didn’t want you to pity me.”

“Ben, I wouldn’t have-,” Callum starts saying, but stops himself when he sees Ben tense.

Callum doesn’t want to upset him by saying the wrong thing. He studies Ben, the way he holds himself, his eyes weary, the dark circles under his eyes even more prominent in the low kitchen light. Like he’s ready for a fight. And Callum understands.

Ben’s been hurting all this time, not knowing what his future will bring. Whether he can return to the army or not. He remembers Ben’s letter, how much the army had done for him after Paul. And Callum had gone on and on about the army, their friends and what they’d do when Ben came back. No wonder Ben hadn’t said anything.

Callum takes Ben’s hand, startling him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to have a go at you. Do-do the others know? Your mum?”

“Jay and Lola know,” Ben says. “We haven’t told mum or Lexi. Didn’t want to get their hopes up, you know, about me staying here permanently. I think my mum knows something’s up, but she’s not pushing for an answer right now. And Lexi is just happy to have me here as long as she can.”

“I’m sorry,” Callum says.

“Yeah, well, you didn’t shoot me. In fact, you saved me. Imagine what would’ve happened if you didn’t. I’d have lost more than my hearing,” Ben tries to joke. Callum lets go of his hand.

“Don’t say things like that, Ben. It’s not a joke!” He feels himself tense again. He hates that just the idea of Ben not surviving has this effect on him.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s not. I’m not good at dealing with what happened.” He stops, as if he’s stealing himself for something. “I’m going to therapy… for PTSD.” He shrugs, as if it’s nothing. “Twice a week. Was one of the requirements if I wanted to go back to training. Not that I can now with my wonky ear.”

“Therapy? That’s good, though, right? Is it helping?”

“No. Yes! I don’t know.” Ben sounds confused. “It’s early stages yet. My therapist says it might take some time. I’m supposed to be patient with myself. Can you imagine?”

“No, not really,” Callum answers, making them both laugh. Ben sobers up soon, though.

“To be honest, Callum, I don’t know what to do if I can’t go back. I love being here with Lexi and my mum, and Jay and Lola. But I don’t know if civilian life is for me. I like the structure and order of army life. The way it keeps me in line. I’m afraid of what I might do without it. I don’t wanna go off the rails again.”

Callum puts his arm around Ben, wanting to comfort him.

“Ben, whatever happened years go is in the past. You’ve grown up now. Yes, the army gave you a structure to hold on to. But it was your decision to make that change in your life. You couldn’t have done it, if you hadn’t wanted it to. And you have your family here, they’ll help you. And as long as I’m here, I can help you figure things out.” He pauses, smiling at Ben. “You’re not alone. You don’t have to deal with this on your own.” Ben smiles back.

They’re quiet for a while, both lost in their own thoughts.

“What about your nightmares?” Ben asks, startling Callum. Callum pulls his arm back, grabbing his beer. He fiddles with the label, trying to think of something to say. In the end, he shrugs.

“Don’t wanna talk about it.” He says quietly. He can see Ben nod from the corner of his eye.

“I’m here, though, if you wanted to.”

“I know,” Callum says.

Later, when he’s back in his bed, drifting off, he remembers that he’d been about to go out of his mind and that talking to Ben had calmed him down. He falls asleep smiling.

~*~~*~

They’ve taken Lexi out to Richmond Park for the day. It’s a bit further away from home, but Lexi had wanted to go to a park with animals, because of her homework – something about drawing things you can see in a park. And Callum had wanted to try the small café one of his army mates had told him about. Ben hadn’t been able to resist two pairs of puppy eyes, so, here they are now. It’s a few days before Callum is due to leave. They’re walking together, Lexi in between them, holding their hands, trying to find something that might catch her eye.

“No, Daddy, a trashcan is boring. I need something interesting,” Lexi informs him. She lets go of their hands and walks ahead of them. Ben turns to Callum, mouths ‘something interesting’. He rolls his eyes, smiling fondly.

“Daddy, daddy, look!” Lexi whisper-shouts, calling Ben to her side. They quickly catch up with her. She’s jumping up and down, pointing into the little wood.

And there, hidden behind a bush they see a deer, with antlers and all.

“Okay, princess. You have to calm down and be quiet or the deer will walk away before you can draw it.” Ben tells her. She looks at him with huge eyes and nods. Ben walks her to a nearby bench and sits her down, helps her pull out her sketch book and pens. They whisper together, smiling excitedly.

Callum stays back a little. He loves watching Ben with Lexi. He’s so good with her. He tries to listen to everything she tells him, engages with her. If he snaps at her for whatever reason, he apologises immediately, telling her he was angry at something else.

She’s such a lively little girl, always on the move. Making the adults around her do whatever she wants. And she is so very cheeky. Callum loves it when she gets that glint in her eyes and says something outrageous for a girl her age. She reminds Callum so much of Ben.

He presses his hand to his own chest, hard, trying to soothe the ache he feels. He knows it’s a moot gesture, it’s a feeling that’s been growing slowly over the last week and a half.

And finally, finally, he understands. He understands the growing feelings he couldn’t put into words - Callum is in love with Ben. There is no earth-shattering, no stars aligning, no fate intervening. It’s a quiet but certain realisation that he’s been in love with Ben for a while. And when he thinks about it, actually tries to put it together, it makes sense.

Callum can talk to Ben, doesn’t feel the need to hide. Ben understands him, doesn’t make him talk about things if he doesn’t want to, but he’s a solid shoulder to lean on if Callum needs it. Ben never talks down to him, always encourages him to move at his own speed. Most importantly, he makes Callum laugh, brings him out of his head where he sometimes gets lost.

Callum takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, calming himself. He takes the last couple steps up to Ben and Lexi and peers at her drawing.

“That’s really good, Lex,” he tells her. She mumbles ‘thanks’ but doesn’t let him distract her. Ben on the other hand looks up at Callum and smiles brightly. It’s a gorgeous smile that makes his heart beat faster. Callum smiles back.

~*~~*~

When Lexi has drawn enough animals and interesting things for her homework, they head to the Hollyhock Café. It’s a vegan/ vegetarian fair-trade café and even though Callum loves meat, he doesn’t mind trying out new things. Ben isn’t happy about it, though, but he’ll have to deal with it. Lexi loves it immediately. She keeps saying how cute it looks.

The café itself isn’t very big, but it looks cosy. Callum heads inside with Lexi to order, leaving Ben outside to find them an empty table. Lexi wants a chocolate cake, Callum orders himself a pistachio and berry cake. And even though Ben had grumbled about the café choice, they get him a brownie.

Lexi helps Callum carry the cakes; he takes the tray with tea. They quickly find Ben.

“This is for you, daddy.” Lexi hands Ben the brownie. “You were a little whingy, but Callum said you still deserve something sweet.” She puts her own cake down and takes a seat. Ben gapes at her and shakes his head. He turns to Callum.

“Did you tell her to say that?”

“Didn’t have to. She heard you whinging, it’s not my fault.” Callum scrunches his face at Ben and sticks out his tongue. It startles a full-belly laugh out of Ben. Lexi giggles and starts eating her cake.

Now that he’s realised how he feels, Callum can’t stop looking at Ben. He really can be oblivious at times and it makes him laugh that it’s taken him this long to understand his own feelings. But then again, he’s never been very bright when it came to emotions. It had been Chris who’d made the first move. Callum wonders what would have happened, had Chris not talked to him that fateful day. He sighs.

“You okay?” Ben is looking at Callum questioningly.

“Yeah, just a lot on my mind.” Callum tells him. “Oh, you have bit of cake there-.” Callum gestures to his own lips. Ben tries licking it away, but Callum only shakes his head, laughing.

“Here, let me,” he says and swipes at Ben’s lower lip with his fingers. Ben freezes, barely breathing. Callum realises what he’s doing and stiffens with his hand still on Ben’s face.

And suddenly the air around them is charged again. Callum feels himself being pulled towards Ben. He watches himself helplessly, like it’s happening to someone else. They’re close now, Callum can feel Ben’s heated breath on his face. He licks his lips.

“Are you gonna kiss now?” Lexi asks and the spell is broken. Callum pulls back, embarrassed. He can’t look at Ben. He feels like he was about to do something really stupid.

“No, darling. Callum was just helping me clean up. I made a mess when I was eating my brownie.” Ben’s voice sounds restrained, his excuse weak, but Lexi accepts it.

“You should be careful, daddy,” she says proudly. “Look at me, all clean.”

When Callum looks at her, she has a chocolate frosting moustache. He can’t help himself; it makes him laugh. How does she say the right thing and make him feel relaxed? He turns to her.

“Come here, little miss. You need cleaning up as well. You’re your daddy’s daughter through and through,” he says fondly, takes a tissue and cleans her up.

When he steals a glance at Ben, Ben is looking down, lost in his thoughts. Callum hopes the near kiss didn’t make him uncomfortable. He sighs inwardly. He guesses he should talk to Ben, explain what’s going on. It’s a good thing Callum will be leaving for home base soon. That way when Ben rejects him, Callum will have training to distract him.

Not soon after, they head out again, making their way home slowly.

~*~~*~

When they get back, Lexi runs to Lola and Jay, telling them excitedly about all the animals they’d seen and how they had yummy cake in a cute café. She babbles like a waterfall and Lola and Jay just nod and hmm at the appropriate times.

Callum can only smile at her. She really is amazing. When he notices Ben standing beside him, he gestures to the kitchen and goes through. Ben follows him, closing the door behind them. Callum takes a deep breath and turns to him.

“I want to talk to you about what happened at the café.” Callum can feel himself flushing. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I didn’t realise what was happening until today, you have to believe me. You’re one of my best mates, that’s why it’s taken me this long to understand my own feelings. I don’t want that to come between us.” Callum knows he’s rattling on, and he wishes he could stop, but it’s like his brain has lost all control over his mouth.

“And I’ll understand if it makes you uneasy and you’d rather not spend any time with me anymore. If you wanted, I could even leave now. I don’t think they’d mind the extra hands at home base.” Callum laughs self-deprecatingly, pulling at his own hair, trying to calm his racing heart. Oh God, he wishes the ground would open up and swallow him. He’s so embarrassed.

Only, apart from being a prattling idiot, he also seems to be blind and oblivious. Because Ben is suddenly standing right in front of him, so close that Callum wonders how and when it happened. But Ben doesn’t give him any time to think, because the next second he is taking Callum’s face in his hands, pulling him down. Right before their lips touch, Ben stops and just breathes against Callum’s lips.

Ben’s eyes are open, and it feels like he’s staring into Callum’s soul. He doesn’t know what Ben’s waiting for, but the tension is killing him. Ben’s lips are so close. Callum just needs to move a tiny bit and… their lips are meeting tenderly for the first time. Callum closes his eyes and sighs. He relaxes, letting go.

Ben’s lips are chipped but oh so soft. And Callum loses himself in their kiss, letting Ben take however much he wants. And Ben is a forceful kisser, changing from soft pecks to demanding access, nipping, biting, taking. Ben kisses the way he lives; he’s a force of nature and Callum loves it.

"This is new,” Lola says, starling them apart. Ben’s pupils are dilated, his lips still wet from their kisses and he’s breathing heavily. It’s such a perfect look for him, Callum can’t help but groan quietly. Ben is looking at him hungrily, like Callum is the answer to all his prayers.

Without turning around, Ben says: “Lo, give us a minute.” His voice is hoarse, and just knowing that he’s responsible for that turns on Callum even more.

“Hey, this is my home, too, you know,” Lola protests.

“Lo! I said a minute!” Ben presses. From the corner of his eye Callum sees her turning around and closing the door, mumbling to herself something about horny teenagers. But Ben is already on him again, kissing him.

Callum lets him for a heartbeat, for two, loving that Ben is just into this as he is, but they’re not alone. And someone has to be responsible. He pulls himself away reluctantly, keeping his hands still on Ben.

“Ben, Ben! Come on, stop!” Callum tries. Ben whines, trying to pull Callum into another kiss. Callum lets go and steps away from him.

“Hey, hey!” He pulls his hands up. “Believe me, I’d rather be kissing you as well, but your family is out there, and we can’t just hog the kitchen.” Ben wants to protest, but Callum goes on. “We can continue what we’ve started here, later tonight.” He promises.

“Okay,” Ben sighs, closing his eyes. “I’ll hold you to that promise.” He takes a deep breath. When he opens his eyes again, he’s calm, collected. His tousled hair is telling an entirely different story.

Callum feels his heart ache again, filling with longing and love. He steps closer to Ben, Ben’s eyes following his every move.

“Your hair is all over the place,” Callum says softly. He runs his hand through Ben’s hair a couple times until he’s happy with the result.

Ben sighs into Callum’s touch. He smiles up at him fondly. Callum smiles back, pecks him on the lips one last time and turns Ben to the door.

When they emerge out of the kitchen, Lola and Jay stop their conversation, turning to them abruptly. Lexi is nowhere to be found, probably washing up.

They’re both grinning, Lola moving her eyebrows ridiculously. Callum shakes his head, still smiling.

“So?” Jay asks.

“You know,” Ben says, shrugging. “It’s something.” Callum nods along, he’s happy to let him take the lead.

Lola and Jay protest at the same time, talking over each other, wanting more details.

Ben shrugs again, turning to look at Callum. “We haven’t had a proper talk yet.”

“Should’ve thought of that before you started making out,” Lola throws in. Ben mock-glares at her. She just grins cheekily.

“Anyway, what are we doing?” Ben changes the subject, making Callum sigh in relief. He likes Jay and Lola but he’s not ready to talk about this with them. He wants a quiet moment with Ben. He wants to know what Ben is feeling. Because as nice as kissing him was, Ben hasn’t said much.

The other two groan at that, rolling their eyes. But they accept that Ben and Callum are not ready to talk, and Callum is grateful that Ben has such a fantastic family.

~*~~*~

They finally call it a night after dinner and games. Callum takes his time, waits until Lexi is settled and asleep, and Lola and Jay have retired to their own room, before he slowly goes upstairs. He doesn’t know what to expect. He’s excited, but also nervous, biting his lips over and over again.

When he opens the door to his room, Ben is sitting on his bed. Callum is surprised, but he was hoping Ben would be here. He smiles at Ben shyly and closes the door quietly after entering.

Callum stays by the boor, needing space between them. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if he’s too close to Ben and they definitely need to talk before this goes any further. Not that either of them is talking. Callum sighs, looking down. He licks his lips and they feel sore. No wonder, he thinks, first Ben had bitten them and now Callum in his anxiety.

“I guess we should talk,” Ben says, startling him.

“Yeah.” Callum nods.

“What you said in the kitchen,” Ben begins, and Callum looks up at him. “Did you mean it?” He asks quietly.

“Yeah. Yes, I mean it. I-” Callum swallows. “I’m in love with you. Sometimes I’m slow when it comes to feelings, that’s why it took me this long to realise. I can’t tell you how and when it happened, only that it is the truth.” Callum pauses, trying to bring order to his thoughts.

“I was so afraid when we were ambushed and you got hurt. I was sick with worry. And when they finally told us you’d make it through, that you’d live, I locked myself in my bathroom and cried. I was afraid I’d lose you just as I lost Chris and-” Callum stops, his throat closing up. He hates those memories of Ben getting hurt.

“You know the nightmares? They-they’re about you getting shot, but there is something different every time. Sometimes we don’t get to you in time and you bleed out in front of us, or you don’t make it through surgery. Or worst of all, you die in my arms because they can’t find us in time. And I just-” Callum’s feelings overwhelm him, and he starts crying quietly, his whole body shaking. This was not how he’d pictured this night would go. And yet, here they are.

In an instant Ben is with him and taking Callum in his arms. Callum tries to resist, but having Ben here, alive, it’s the only comfort he wants and needs, so he clings to Ben and lets the tears fall.

When it feels like he has no tears left to cry, Callum finally calms down, with Ben caressing his back and whispering how he’s fine and that he’s not leaving. Callum gingerly extricates himself from Ben, laughing sheepishly. He can’t look at Ben.

“I’m sorry for being such a mess. I know this wasn’t how you wanted tonight to go.”

“Callum, look at me,” Ben pleads. Callum hesitantly looks at him.

“Tonight is supposed to be about us, you and me. And if that means we spend it talking, I’m alright with that. I mean, sure, I wouldn’t mind kissing you again or having you naked on my bed. Who would, honestly?!” He leers at Callum, making him giggle and roll his eyes.

“That’s better,” Ben smiles at him. “But I just want you to be okay. I didn’t know you were struggling with what happened. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? You know I’m seeing that therapist. We could have tried getting you an appointment there as well. Or you could have come with me to one of my sessions. Did you-did you not trust me?” He asks quietly, as if fearing Callum’s answer.

“Ben, no,” Callum insists. “I told you I’m not good with emotions. I just need more time to process and understand my feelings compared to other people. I think once I would have realised what was going on, I would have come to you. It’s just that realising both – my feelings for you and about the ambush – happened at the same time.” He shrugs.

“You have to believe me, Ben. You’re the first person I want to talk when something happens. Why do you think I sent you so many emails? I wanted to talk to my best friend, I missed having you around, joking with you. When you were gone, I felt like I was missing a part of me. I know that now. Back then I knew something wasn’t right, I just couldn’t place the feeling. And I didn’t feel comfortable enough to talk to any of the other guys. You’re that person for me.” He shrugs, biting his lips. Ben smiles at him.

“You should know,” Ben starts after they’ve been quiet for a while. “For me, the best thing about the army was meeting you. You know why I enlisted, how messed up I was. The army gave me purpose when I was lost, but you were the game changer. I saw you one day at the training camp, you were talking to some guys and your smile, it was so bright and open. Seeing you like that loosened something in me and I wanted to get to know you.” Closing his eyes, Ben laughs. Turning to the bed, he sits down.

“Only, when you arrived, I’d already got my reputation as a ‘hard man’. And no matter what I tried I couldn’t get you alone. You didn’t even realise, did you?” He asks and Callum shakes his head.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Here I was, trying to get your attention and failing. It drove me crazy. But then I bumped into your friend and suddenly you’re between us, trying to protect him. It was unexpected. You know, had it been anybody else interfering, I’d have decked them.”

“Yeah,” Callum nods, remembers being surprised at Ben’s non-reaction.

“A couple days later I caught you kissing Chris.” Ben goes on. “I was so furious with myself. Of course, you already had someone in your life. And from what I knew, Chris was a good one, well-liked by a lot of people. How could you even look at me when you were with him?” Ben shakes his head, he’s quiet for a moment.

“It’s funny you should mention that kiss, you know.” Callum interrupts the silence.

“Is it?”

“Yeah, because that never would have happened, had it not been for you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Callum continues. “After that ‘near fight’ in the dining hall, Chris told me you liked me. I didn’t see it.” He laughs, gestures at himself. “You know, slow.” He rolls his eyes. “So, I told him he was more my type and that’s how things got started with him. Because of you, I got to experience love, even if it was for a short time. So, thank you.”

“Yeah, a regular matchmaker, me.” Ben looks at Callum, smiling. “I think it was fate that we met again, this time around. My unit had just arrived in Kandahar and they told me someone named Highway would come by to show us the base. I was shocked when I heard your name. And normally, I’d have sent one of my men to get you when you didn’t turn up in time. But the possibility of it being really you was too tempting. I had to see for myself. And I didn’t want that first glance of you in front of the others. I wanted it to be mine alone.” He laughs at himself. Callum’s heart aches for Ben.

“When I saw you in that kitchen, lumping around dishes, all on your own. It was like I could breathe again, freely, for the first time in ages. I hadn’t looked for you and yet there you were. A gift from the universe. At least that’s how it felt.” He shrugs, taking a moment to breathe in deeply.

“I was honestly content just being your friend. It felt like I’d been given another chance to have you in my life and I would have done anything to keep you.”

“But then I found out you were single, and my treacherous heart began to hope again. I didn’t want to, because I could see you were in pain and you didn’t wanna talk about it. I respected that, not having been able to talk about Paul myself.” Ben stops, licking his lips.

“But then I’d see you look at me and that hope would flare up again.” He grimaces. “It was so confusing.”

In two steps, Callum is at Ben’s side, kneeling in front of him. He takes Ben’s face in his hands, making Ben look at him.

“I’m sorry I caused you pain. And I’d take it all away if I could. But we’re both here, feeling the same way about each other. At least I hope that we are.” Ben nods slowly.

“It’s not your fault I fell for an idiot, is it?” Ben says, grinning at Callum. Callum is about to nod when he realises what Ben’s said.

“Hey!” He claps Ben on the shoulder. “Who you calling an idiot?”

“You! But you’re my idiot, ain’t ya?” Ben is grinning.

“Yeah, I’m yours,” Callum says softly, closing the gap between them and finally kissing Ben again. He knows they’ve got much more to talk about, but he can’t deal with any more heartache for the night.

He nudges Ben further on the bed and climbs on his lap, putting his arms around his neck.

“I’m not crushing you, am I?” He whispers in Ben’s ear. He feels Ben shiver.

“No, no, you’re good.” Ben sighs, kissing along Callum’s neck, making him groan in return.

“Okay, that’s good. Yeah, good,” Callum hums, pushing Ben on his back and getting lost in him.

~*~~*~

Callum slowly opens his eyes, feeling disoriented. But it’s early morning, he can see the navy-blue melting into a burning red, turning the sky into a watercolour painting from the window. He tries to turn, but there is something heavy lying on his chest. That’s when he remembers yesterday, his talk with Ben and what they’d done afterwards. Callum smiles contently.

Looking at Ben now, you’d never know how mouthy and demanding he can be. He looks peaceful in his sleep, his hair fluffy, his face nuzzled into Callum’s chest.

The sex last night had been intense, his body aches in places he didn’t know was possible. He’d hesitated for a moment when he’d pulled off Ben’s shirt and seen his wound. It had healed, no more stitches to be seen. But Callum had wanted to be careful.

“Does it hurt?” He’d asked. Ben had shaken his head.

“Can-can I touch it?” Ben had nodded and Callum had touched the wound softly, almost reverently. Such a small thing with such big consequences. He’d kissed it tenderly. Callum had been hyperaware not to hurt Ben, but Ben hat pushed him, biting and scratching at him.

“I’m not made of glass, don’t treat me like I’m going to break,” he’d said, and he’d let Callum take as much as he wanted, encouraging him. Whispering filthy things in his ear. Callum shivers just thinking about it. He wants to do it all over again, wants to get lost in Ben.

He can feel Ben stirring and when Callum looks down at him, Ben is blinking blearily, trying to orient himself.

“Morning,” he mumbles and then remembers Ben’s hearing aid. He wants to lean over to the bedside table, but Ben stops him with a kiss. He leans over himself and puts his aid in. He snuggles back into Callum, kissing his chest tenderly. Callum kisses Ben’s head and lets his hand wander on Ben’s naked back, tracing random patterns.

“This is nice,” Callum says into the silence.

“Hmm, yes,” Ben murmurs. “I missed this, you know. Just lying together, holding someone… Can we stay like this for a while?”

“As long as you want!” Callum holds on tighter to Ben, whispering I got you over and over again.

~*~~*~

The next couple days are like a dream. The giggling, the kissing, the touching. And the sex! They can’t keep their hands off each other, disappearing whenever they can get away with it, only to return looking dishevelled, with rosy cheeks and bitten lips.

Callum hasn’t been this happy in forever, and he wants nothing more than to stay with Ben. But Callum knows he can’t. He has to report back to home base tomorrow. Now that he knows there is a good chance of Ben never returning to active duty, Callum dreads going back. Not that they’re in the same unit, but Callum could have asked for a transfer.

But things are different now and his mind has been running a mile a minute, trying to come up with a way they can be together. Worst case is, Ben can’t go back to the army because of his ear. And as much as Callum loves the army, he loves Ben more. So, there is only one way this can go.

~*~~*~

They’re both pleasantly sore, lying in Ben’s bed. It’s their last night together. Callum wants to burn every little thing about this night into his mind, to keep it safe for when he’s away. He wants to remember the feeling of Ben’s callused fingers on his thighs, Ben’s soft lips on his chest, the tickle of Ben’s beard on his throat.

Too soon Callum will have to leave, say goodbye to Lexi, promising her that he’ll write her as often as he can.

God, he doesn’t want to leave them.

Callum’s hand is playing with Ben’s hair, running through it, only to smooth it out again. He can’t help it, everything about Ben is tempting Callum to touch him. And Callum is only too glad to give in.

“I’m gonna miss this,” Ben murmurs into Callum’s chest.

Callum stills. Just like Callum, Ben had ignored the fast approaching end of Callum’s holiday. This is the first time he acknowledges it.

“Yeah, me too.” He goes on after a moment of silence.

“You know, after I finish my tour, I could quit the army… Come back here?”

Ben freezes, barely breathing. Callum can’t see his face, doesn’t know whether Ben likes the idea or not. He shakes his head.

“No, forget it. It was a stupid idea.” He wants to detangle himself from Ben, but Ben stops him with a hand on his chest.

“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it, Callum.” Ben is still not looking at him. “Don’t give me hope only to never return. I couldn’t handle that.”

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it. These past few weeks with you, with Lexi. It’s what I want.” Ben wants to protest. “No, Ben. Meeting you and Lexi, it changed things for me. You know I always wanted to be a soldier. But that was my dream when I was a kid. People grow up, priorities change. And if you let me, I would like to make you my priority. You and Lexi.” Callum feels relieved. Now it’s out in the open and it’s on Ben to decide where things go from here.

Ben moves up, bringing their faces close, his gaze intense. Callum wants to look away, but he knows Ben needs to do this. He looks back steadily.

Finally, Ben nods slowly, a smile breaking lose. He nudges Callum’s nose with his own. “I love you.”

Callum closes the small gap between them, kissing Ben as if his life depended on it.

ONE YEAR LATER – Walford, England

Ben is excited. Callum is finally coming home to him and this time for good. They hadn’t seen each other in six months. Well, six months in person. They’d had a too short video-chat a couple weeks ago, Callum telling him that his deployment was ending soon, only for their connection to fail. Soon after he’d sent an email with details. Yesterday he’d called from home base, saying they’d arrived safely and that he’d be home tomorrow.

Lola and Jay had taken Lexi away for a couple days, giving them the time to reconnect after being separated for so long. He’d thanked them by paying for their trip.

Ben is walking around the house with nervous energy, checking again if they have enough food. He’s stocked up on everything Callum likes. The idea being that they won’t have to leave the house if they don’t want to.

A picture on the mantel piece catches his eye. Ben remembers the day it was taken vividly. The army medics had finally told him his hearing wouldn’t return, making him unfit for active duty. It had been difficult for him, but Lexi had been happy that her daddy would never go away again. His mum had hugged him, crying that Ben getting shot had been some sort of blessing. The picture shows him hugging Lexi and his mum that day. It makes him smile.

Now Ben is running his own business, he’s selling cars. It’s not the most glamourous job, but he enjoys it. And he doesn’t have to commute, with the car lot being right here in Walford, not five minutes from Ben’s home.

Callum hadn’t made any plans about what he wanted to do after the army, yet. But after Ben had got shot, he’d changed careers in the army and trained as a medic.

Ben thinks he might complete his training and become a paramedic, but he doesn’t want to pressure Callum. He thinks it would suit him, though. Callum is good under pressure, keeps calm.

The back door opening startles Ben, he puts down the picture frame and looks up. It’s Callum, he’s finally home. It takes Ben’s breath away, seeing him standing there. He’s missed that gorgeous face, the kind smile. God, that gorgeous smile. His eyes full of love.

Ben runs up to Callum, pulling him down into a kiss. He groans. And he’s missed this. Kissing Callum, tasting him, touching him.

“Where are the others?” Callum asks in between kisses.

“Gone. We’re alone for the next couple days.” Ben moans, he’s even missed Callum’s thick stubble.

Callum’s big hands wander to Ben’s arse, kneading it. He’s kissing Ben down his throat, leaving wet traces.

“Callum, please! I need-.”

“What do you need, Ben? Tell me!” Callum looks down at Ben, his gaze intense. Ben loves it when Callum takes charge.

“You. I need you!”

Callum attacks his lips, pulling Ben to the sofa. Ben goes willingly.

[shooktofen]

Primis HCs

Won’t lie I rejected the Tag Der Toten ending to the extent that I wiped COD zombies from my mind. But here I am a few months later thinking about our Primis boys and what they’d be like in their wishes that they revealed in the TDT cutscene. So here we gooo

(cut for length)

Takeo as a father:

Strict but reasonable. The last thing he wants is for his kids to act entitled and rude, especially since honour has shaped a huge part of his life.

He will teach them respect for others, but also the importance of respect for themselves. 

Despite skilfully wielding a katana, he isn’t a fan of acts of violence no matter how well disciplined a practice may be. However, if his child were to ask, then he would absolutely teach them. Other than that, he likes to teach his children history so he reads them a lot of child friendly stories about Japanese culture.

Encourages his children to get involved in sports for multiple reasons. Teamwork, friendships, training, discipline and an overall active lifestyle are all incredibly healthy and he wants that for his children.

He’s definitely a supportive parent but he’s not the go to parent when the children are upset. The few times they’ve come to him for help, he’s usually given them an answer that is too uniform and rigid, and all they want is a hug and gentle words.

Nikolai as a husband:

Him and his wife are practically best friends. They have endless amounts of interesting conversations ranging from history to philosophy to the grand question of “dogs or cats?”

Brings home flowers each Friday. Both have been working hard and Nikolai always wants to let his wife know how much he loves her.

There’s always one day of the week where they go out and do something together, just the two of them. No friends, family nothing. Are they going to the park, are they headed to Poland for the day? You’ll never know.

Very gentle. Like his wife his the alpha, she runs this household. He knows his place and respects his lady.

Definitely the type of person to say he doesn’t want any pets and keeps saying that for countless years until he buys his wife a puppy for Christmas just because he knows it’s what she wants.

Richtofen as a lecturer:

I can never see this man living outside of Germany. I think he’d definitely work at a university in either Heidelberg or Munich. He might go and give lectures to students in France and the UK because they’re next door. 

He’s very calm, passionate and confident when he’s giving his lectures but he’ll stay behind the podium and prepares a script. His childhood experiences riddled his mind with anxiety and he’s still dealing with the excess as an adult. But then again, he can’t be that shy as he teaches international students because of his proficiency in English.

Absolutely 100% full of respect for his students. He opens up as much of his time as possible to office hours where students can go over assignments or just talk about something they don’t understand. Because of the more than usual contact hours, he finds himself getting to know a lot of his students quite well and ends up adapting the way he teaches and explains to the needs of each individual student.

I feel like he’d enjoy talking to some students from the arts degrees. Despite being a science scholar, creativity is still a huge part of him and speaking to a new generation of the creative academic world blows his mind. 

He’s alright at leading seminars but definitely not the best. He poses questions to the seminar in hopes that one of the more confident students will start speaking and thus pull answers out of any less confident students. His seminar activities tend to be quite fun to make up for his lack of communicative abilities. You wanna play with models of the brain? Real brains? Dr Richtofen is absolutely down for it.

Dempsey as a DI:

Literally just Tank Dempsey. Just a tad more screaming.

Despite this he’s very understanding and more compassionate than a lot of the other DIs. Because of this his respect as a leader is gained almost instantly, and his teaching style as a result is very balanced out and enriching.

Always talks about his “5yr old daughter” and how much better she is at all of this than any of his soldiers. Literally no one knows who his daughter is but she’s legendary in the community. 

Throws “live” grenades at disrespectful soldiers. They’re fart bombs.

Tries not to cry when his soldiers go onto be full fledged special forces. Training takes a lot to complete, and him knowing that he has guided a group through it to success always leaves him feeling a weird mix of happy and sad.

[jcmesfoster]

╰☆╮ GREGG SULKIN ,  22 , CIS-MALE , HE/HIM  ☆ — wait , is that JAMES FOSTER ? dean lockwood has been looking for them . you didn’t hear it from me but , apparently the SENIOR might know something about the whole omega chi & kappa tau situation . while they can be IMPERIOUS & CHEEKY , they’re far too MAGNETIC & RELIABLE to be involved , right ? those who know them say they’re reminded of PERPETUAL GRAPHITE STAIN ON THE SIDE OF HIS LEFT HAND, MUDDIED 300 DOLLAR CLEATS, DIMPLED REDDENED CHEEKS & MOLTEN HAZEL EYES, AND AN ENGLISH ACCENTED VOICE WRAPPED IN VELVET whenever they’re around .  honestly , the ARCHITECTURE major should try to keep their head down . after the events of last semester , lockwood is out for blood . did you know that JAMIE is a member of LAMBDA SIGMA OMEGA ? that might explain why their name is being brought up .  ☆ CLAIRE , 20 , SHE/HER , & GMT +8 ╰☆╮

Full Name: Norman James Foster II Nickname: James, Jamie Sun sign: Aquarius Sexuality: Bi-curious

Birthplace: Albany, New York, United States Hometown: Prestwich, Greater Manchester, England Current Residence: West Hartford, Connecticut, United States Nationality: British-American (dual citizenship) Ethnicity: English (father), Ashkenazi Jewish (mother) Religion: non-religious, non-practicing

Character traits: magnetic, ebullient, reliable ( + ) // imperious, cheeky, preoccupied ( - ) Tropes: The Overachiever, Golden Boy, Big Man on Campus, Lovable Jock, Quintessential British Gentleman Muse Inspirations: Nate Archibald (Gossip Girl), Nick Young (Crazy Rich Asians), Miles Richards (Riot Club), Chris Evans Aesthetics: perpetual graphite stain on the side of his left hand, muddied 300 dollar cleats, dimpled reddened cheeks & molten hazel eyes, and an English accented voice wrapped in velvet Major: Architecture Affiliations: centre forward for the hworth soccer team, member of hworth engineers without borders, vice president of the hworth student association, philanthropy chair & IFC representative for lambda sigma omega

Hair: dark brown Eye color: hazel, mostly looks brown Height: 5′10″ (i know gregg is 5′9″ but pls, let him have this 1 inch) Distinctive features: dimples on both cheeks & a bright, puppy-like smile, a posh British accent that can either make you facepalm on how cheesy it can sound or swoon with how charming it can get

he was born in America, where his father met his mum during a business trip. he is an architect while she is an interior designer. they eventually got married in England where his got mum relocated to. which means he grew up in England for the most part (simply bc i couldn’t... give up... gregg’s accent ljkljkl)

named after his grandfather, Sir Norman Robert Foster, it is needless to say that there are a lot of expectations for James. Norman Foster is a big name in the architecture industry, for founding the current leading firm in the UK, Foster + Partners.

James has known constant pressure all his life, and has learned to live and thrive under it. as a young lad, he was expected to be sporty, leader material, and excel academically. James isn’t the type to be disobedient, and will do whatever it takes to make his family happy. so while other kids are out enjoying their summers and going on imaginative adventures, james was stuck in his home being tutored advanced lessons and learning how to properly kick a ball. since the popular sport in England was football (soccer), that’s what he was taught to play, but also eventually grew to love.

his parents got divorced just before his senior year in high school. he was given the decision to either stay with his mum or dad. he chose to stay with his mum, despite having to uproot his life in England and move all the way to America just before graduating high school. he was the only close living family his mum had left, and he wasn’t about to leave her all alone across the world. he still stays in contact with his family in England though, and goes back during breaks or summers. 

it was probably his first act of rebellion ever, to choose to study at a university in the States, and not even one his family would’ve chosen for him. but it didn’t matter to him as much as he thought it would have. it felt pretty damned good to be making his own decisions.

though his family is a large factor in him taking architecture, he genuinely loves the discipline. he loves how it requires one to be both creative and logical, whereas most people are used to being one or the other. 

old habits die hard, and overachieving is in his blood. he is just about involved in everything. student politics, sports, frat, academics, and outreach programs ??? plus he’s smart, kind, good-looking, and rich ??? (goddamnit i hate him,, i can never be him) the only downside is that he isn’t part of omega chi delta.

he got recruited to lambda in his first year ! still feeling giddy over defying his family, what was one more act of disobedience, honestly? he could almost hear his dad nagging him that if he were ever to join a frat in hworth, it should be the best, aka omega chi. surprisingly, he doesn’t really care. as with almost everything, he has grown to love the frat and would actually die for them. think of him as the big brother figure in lambda that everyone can rely on & runs to so he could fix things. he’s the philanthropy chair & IFC representative for a reason—he has a big heart and has a lot of love to give, plus he wants what’s best for lambda.

probably needs to take a break, but is honestly stubborn as hell to do so. his logic is that since he has been doing this circus of activities for three years and he has yet to crash and burn, why would it start now? (god someone pls save him !!!)

here are some additional fun (but important!) facts:

he isn’t really into parties, but would go to it for the sake of building & sustaining connections. he mostly just wants to rest during his free time (i mean, who could blame him ??) 

his time management skills are on fire though ! downside is that he doesn’t have as much fun as others do since he is always trying to hold back

he is left-handed

he currently has three dogs. a black & white border collie named clyde, a yellow labrador retriever named coco, and a black & silver german shepherd named caesar. he has already lost two dogs—a red retriever named rusty, and a jack russell terrier named rocket

he is hella good at pencil sketching but has never been the best at painting

he freaking loves maths and sciences (i could never !!!) his brain is simply wired & trained for it

a natural-born leader !

he had his bar mitzvah at the Western Wall in Jerusalem

he plans to take his postgraduate degree at either MIT or University College London

can get alpha-like/domineering at times (especially in relationships) but he is a generally nice dude

believes in true love and all that. has always respected and been sweet to those he had been involved with, fling or serious relationships

if you’ve made it till the end, thank you so much for reading through, angel! here are some of his wanted connections ! I’m pretty much open to anything for James, and so if none catches your fancy, we shall brainstorm together ;)

[a-copper-butterfly]

Title Suggestions Needed!

OK so i posted this before but i have edited it a bit and added a new intro. im still not sure if i should continue this but what the hay, have a look and give us some feed back. :)

here is my re-write of good omens where the ineffable husbands raise Adam.

Monday, five days before the end of the world.

It was sunny, well, as sunny as it every was in the centre of London.

For those you don’t know, London is a vaguely potato shaped blob about ten miles across, with its own weather system which is almost entirely different to that of the rest of the UK.

Warlock was moping along his nose glued to his phone (not literally, thought Crowley sometimes wished he could get close enough with some glue without the little nuisance noticing.) Warlock had perfected the art of nearly completely ignoring the world around him, but remining just aware enough that he could complain at anyone who might distract him. His mother was walking along admiring the sculptures, pausing now and then to read an information sign. She did this much in the same manner as most people the world over when they want to look more intelligent than they are. They don’t actually read what is written on the information board, just frown and nod like you agree with what ever had been said then point to it and repeat a few lines when a friend or family member joins you. Thus, the whole cycle repeats itself.

A little way from the stroppy pre-teen, representatives of both heaven and hell discussed the fate of the world.

“I mean, he could just disappear,” suggested the Demon. He was slouched on the wooden bench. This was a master level slouch of someone who had trained for years to hold his body in such a position. A normal person if attempting this would pull a muscle if not worse.

The Angel that sat prim and proper next to him frowned,

“I don’t see how hiding him would help?” he said, which earned a glare form his companion. The thick sunglasses that covered the Demons yellow eyes obscure the fond irritation directed at the angel.

“I mean kill him Angel,” he clarified.

The Angel shuffles in his seat uncomfortable about this conversation. He tried to change the subject, but not too much avail.

“Are you going to get him a dog?” Azriaphale looks over at Crowley, know full well that he had been asked to provide the hound and that this was purely a diversion.

“I thought you were going to sort that out.” Crowley responded, rolling his concealed eyes.

“Why are we getting him a dog anyway.”

Crowley gave a side glances at his companion, silently noting the use of “we”.

Azriaphale wasn’t done with his grumbling, “Do remember the hamster?” he continued.

“Sir hamserlot? Yeah.” Crowley cringed at the memory of the tan and white little rodent. The poor thing when through so meant names it was a wonder it didn't have identity issues.

“How meant times did we have to pull that poor creature back from the jaws of death?” Aziraphale says shaking his head. The poor thing had eventual snuffed it permanently when the boy had gotten it into his head that hamsters could swim. They can, much like rats, but being put in a crudely made ship and pushed out on a duck pond in the middle of winter would be terminal for most rodents or any other small mammal.

A dog is a bit bigger. This was the only argument Crowley could come up with at the time.

“Well” Azriaphale relented “he is a bit older now.”

Crowley shuffled further into his slouch.

“It's the end if the world Angel.” He muttered gloomily, “Just give the kid what he wants. And he wants a dog.”

Aziraphale flinched at this painful truth.

“Well you have a point dear. Fine, he can have a dog.”

There was a pause as they watched Warlock ignore the world around him and play on his phone. The cartoonish sounds of games annoying the people around him. Crowley smirked; apps had been one of his ideas. Well, according to hell they were. Humans were always doing his job for him; he just took the credit when the higher ups asked about it. He sighs and slips back into the conversation about the end of the world.

“We’d better be there when the dog arrives” Crowley said darkly.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s necessary. I think he can look after himself and a dog for a few hours. He is old enough now, don’t you think?” Aziraphale smiles nodding in agreement with himself.

Crowley shot the angel a withering look.

“I meant the hellhound and Warlock, not some overly excited puppy with a bladder size of a spoon. This is going to a monster. The biggest they have got, according to downstairs.”

Aziraphale lip touched in a pout. “Oh” was all he said.

“I'm going as waiting staff don't want people recognizing me.” Crowley continued. “Can you bring him?”

“He said he doesn’t want to go. Said warlock isn't fun to hang out with anymore.” Aziraphale said, fumbling with a button on his sleeve cuff.

“Too bad. He is going to seeing a lot more of him whether he likes it or not. That is if there is anything after.” Crowley responded darkly. He still hadn’t figure how they were going to make it through the next few days.

A sudden though shot through Aziraphale mind.

“I could be the entertainment! I’ll brush up on my magic!” he said excitedly, beaming at the idea.

“Oh no, angel, please don’t. Really, it’s humiliating.” Crowley protested, “You can do miracles, why bother doing sleight of hand when you’re not good at it?” Aziraphale bounced in his seat. This was going to be fun.

  One late august night just outside the small village of Tadfield,

 When a snake regurgitates its food, its normally because it had been grabbed or handle soon after eating or is otherwise subjected to stress.

As Crowley knelt in damp grass on the bank beside the road, he wiped his mouth. The light from the Bentley’s open door revealing the grey sludge that was even now burning the grass. The small part of Crowley’s mind that wasn’t screaming in panic wondered when the last time he had eaten was. Without the help of the rest of his brain, he guessed around six years ago.

Pushing himself up onto wobbly legs, Crowley slid back into the driving seat, switched on the radio as he did so. As he pulled the car back onto the road, Crowley checked the rear-view mirror. The carry cot was still there. This was real.

“Shit, shit, shit, why me, why me?” he muttered to himself. The radio crackle,

“BECAUSE YOU EARNED IT CROWLEY” came the voice of Freddy Mercury.

“Fuck…” though Crowley.

 Sister Annabelle Houghton was totally normal, much to the annoyances of her parents. They were traditional occultists who gave her supposedly cursed china dolls and pretty, frilly dresses in attempts to get her possessed. They had even moved at an old house which the nice estate agent had made very clear was the site of quite a few murders and ghost stories. It even had its own graveyard in the garden. Her swing was hung in an old knarred oak tree which legend had it was used as a hangman’s gibbet, but she never used it. When Annabelle eventually grew up, her parents had lamented and had sent her off to the Sisterhood of Chattering Nuns of St Beryl. Not too worried about this, Annabelle went along as she thought it might be interesting.

Now she sat looking out of one of the convent’s window keeping watch for the arrive of Master Crowley and the baby boy he carried with him. The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of this world, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness. She was very excited; this was a big day and she, Sister Annabelle, would be part of it. A cup of tea sat on the windowsill beside her. It had gone cold hours ago, No matter.

A car came screaming through the gates of the convert an excitement jolting up her spine. Sister Annabelle leapt from her seat and began to quickly click her way down the hall towards the foyer. She turned the corner expecting to see one of her sisters talking to Master Crowley but broke into a run when she saw which sister it was. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Sister Mary Loquacious, she was a lovely person when you were sat having a chat, it was just that things, important things, tended to go wrong when she was involved.

“Mother Superior! Mater Crowley is here!” she half-yelled, her fists full of her skirt as she leaped down the three little steps leading up to the corridor. Crowley quickly ducked behind a column in responses to the shouting. Shouting mostly lead to pitchforks, torches and a bad time for him.

“Greeting Master Crowley” she said, tried to smile and make her voice sound cheerful but her eyes were screaming at Sister Mary Loquacious. If she wasn’t holding The Anti-Christ, she may have shoved her out of harm’s way (harm’s way meaning any damage Sister Loquacious could cause to others, not the other way around). Sister Annabelle stopped next to her sister, peering at the bundle in her arms. The baby gurgled quietly. She quickly curtsied to Master Crowley who was still looking between the nuns wondering if he could slip out before anyone noticed.

The double doors leading to the hospital rooms flew open and a furious old nun stormed through. This was not part of the plan. She ran her icy gaze over the two nuns, who both know the consequences of that stare. Her eyes found Crowley who was trying not to look like a rabbit in the headlights, he was a demon after all. There was no escape now.

Long hair, sunglasses, modern suit, snakeskin shoes? Not what she though one of hell’s best demons would look like. She raised an eyebrow and forced a smile.

“Master Crowley, you’re just in time.” she walked slowly with an air of control. Crowley drew himself up to his full height. The Mother Superior had the eyes of a school master and they are well known for making even the naughtiest individuals squirm.

“Sister Annabelle, please go and retrieve the child of the ambassador and inform the other sisters that the switch will be taking places presently.” she smiled at the terrified nun who swallowed and nodded, turning to hurrying down the hall. Crowley tried to sidle towards the door. He stopped dead when the older nun eyes dropped on him. He tried to give her a confident smile.

“Master Crowley, if you would just pop over to the desk, we have a few papers for you to sign just to keep everything in order.” she turned and glided over to the foyer desk and began to draw papers out of a file. Crowley reluctantly followed her, dumping the now empty carry cot on the desk before propping himself up on it.

Sister Mary Loquacious frowned. She rocked the Anti-Christ in her arms. He was chewing on his hand. She had checked, it didn’t have claws. She looked up at Master Crowley and frowned again. She walked over to the desk,

“Umm Master Crowley?” she asked and terrifying yellow eyes looked at her over dark sunglasses. Something in the very pit of her soul screamed and told her to run. It was the same part that makes skulls scary, even though they are always smiling. She took a step back,

“Yeah?” he grunted. Mother Superiors levelled her glare at the Sister. She didn’t notice, now over the shock of yellow eyes she felt bolder,

“What is going to happen to the spare baby?” she asked. Crowley rolled his eyes to the Mother superior who was trying to set the younger nun on fire via sheer force of will. Without taking her eyes of her pray the Mother Superior said,

“Yes, that was something I was going to ask you as well Master Crowley. We are willing to go through with the switch, but we want nothing to do with disposing of the baby,” her eyes now turned on Crowley “We may be satanic Nuns, but we are not monsters.” Crowley paused at this juxtaposition. He huffed and turned back to the paperwork, one of hells better inventions,

“Put it in the carry cot, I will deal with it,” Crowley replied absentmindedly. “Sure, why not?” Crowley thought “Not like it will matter in a few years anyway”. Sister Mary Loquacious ginned the kind of grin that would suggest she didn’t quite understand what was going on.

“Sister Mary, please take The Young Lord down to Sister Annabelle.” Mother Superior said as she started pulling out more official looking papers. Crowley slouched at the prospect of more paperwork. Sister Mary Loquacious nodded happily and pushed through the double doors leading to the hospital rooms. Now that The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of this world, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness was out of eyesight, Crowley felt a weight off his back. He no longer wanted to vomit.

Sister Mary Loquacious had found a potable cot for the anti-Christ, in which he now rested. his red blanket tucked around him. She pushed him down the hall spotting sister Annabelle pushing a similar cot out of room 4. Sister Mary paused outside room 3 ready to make the swap. A putrid smell began to waft up the hall. Both sisters gaged. A similar smell began to rise form the baby in the cot in front of Sister Mary and the babies began to cry in unison. Sister Annabelle reached Sister Mary, her face pushed into her shoulder and her eyes watering.  

“I think our lord has made us an offering,” she gaged as she spoke, “and this little man has also given us a gift too”. She pushed open the door to delivery room 3 and hurriedly pushed the cot in. Sister Mary followed with her own charge.

 “You change the babies and I will fetch the carry cot from Master Crowley.”. It was clearly just a excuse to getting out of having to be in same room as the stench for any longer but Sister Mary didn’t want to argue. The smell was truly awful.

In the bed, Mrs Young turned over a frown wrinkling her brow, some internal mothering instinct told her that a baby needed changing but something else told her it wasn’t hers so sleep on.

Sister Mary hesitated as she plucked the Anti-Christ from his cot and laid him on the changing table beside the door. She unwrapped the blanket and dropped it back in the cot. The baby whimpered as she removed the dirty nappy and cleaned him. She cooed at him. “Imagine little me changing the Destroyer of worlds’ nappy and powdering his little tush.” Sister Mary thought to herself. The baby in the other cot began to cry.

The mother in the bed yawned but stayed asleep. In an attempted sooth the baby, Sister Mary picked the ambassadors baby up. He was a chunky baby and quite heavy. Sister Mary had to shift him about a bit before they were both comfortable. The white blanket was lost in this juggling. As she bounced the baby the door to the room opened. Expecting sister Annabelle, Sister Mary turned to face the door where a man peering around the door.

“Err Hello. I’m the father, the husband, whatever.” He stammered, walking over to stand by his wife. Looking up he wondered over to the babies looking down at the baby on the changing table.

“Is this him?” he asked in awe. The baby looked up at him and immediately began to cry. Terrified about what he had done he scooped up the baby and began to pat his back.

“Umm no, these two not yours. Your baby is with your wife over there.” She nodded towards Mrs Young and the cot next to her.

Sister Mary was beginning to gag over the smell coming from the baby in her arms, she laid him on the changing table and began to clean him up.

After soothing the baby in his arms, Mr Young laid the baby down in the empty crib. He picked up the white blanket and tucked it around the baby. He walked over to the cot next to his wife and looked down at the baby. A small part of him was hopeful that he would look upon the face of his child and instantly recognized it as his own. But when he looked down at the sleeping baby, he looked identical to the two with the nun. This one was a little smaller but there wasn’t a moment of recognition. Of course, he didn’t say that. He smiled and looked back at the nun who was disposing of the nappy in a small bin next to the table.

“You know he looks like me.” He said proudly. The Nun smiled at him, rewrapping the baby,

“Have you thought of a name?” she asked. There was a nervous air about her. That probably came with having to look after two babies at once. He had new respect for people with twins and triplets.

 They had discussed names but not come to any solid concoctions, they had a name if it had been a girl and after twitching the blanket back it couldn’t be used anymore. The baby snuffled in its sleep; Mr. Young jumped back afraid that he would make it cry like he had the other child.

“We haven though of any names for a boy,” he explained as the nun had finished changing the baby in front of her. Then, looking down at the second with a frown, she looked at the baby in her arms. After a moment hesitant, she seemed to come to a conclusion and plopped it in the second cot wrapping it in the red blanket.

 “Well, what about the classic like Luke, John, Adam. Bible names and the like?” She rocked the babies in the cots. Mr. Young though about this for a second as he looked back at his son. He didn’t really look like any of those names, but they were good honest names. Suddenly a nun scuttled into the room. She looked a little out of breath. She looked at Mr. Young the way one would look at a velociraptor. She managed to school her features and smile at him.

Sister Annabelle had returned to the front desk and immediate run into Mr. Young who had asked what room his wife was in. Directing the man to the room without a though until she had picked up the carry cot. She had just sent an imposter into the same room as The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of this world, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness. Picking up her heels again, she took off down the hall and was now stood with Sister Mary, two babies and the carry cot. She turned her slightly manic smile on Sister Mary. She winked. Sister Mary Winked back. They smiled at each other.

 “Baby removal services,” she laughed pushing the baby with the red blanket out of the room. She pointed at the carry cot next to the remaining baby and nodded down the hall. Sister Mary nodded back. She placed the carry cot on the changing surfaces and placed the remaining baby in the white blanket in it. Scooping up baby and carry cot she moved to leave the room,

“Umm,” said Mr. Young using the tone of someone who doesn’t want to be a bother but is no doubts going to be a problem.

“Is there any paperwork I need to fill in,” he asked nervously. Always ready to be helpful, Sister Mary nodded and beckoned for him to follow her. It wasn’t until they entered the hall that she realized this might have been a bad decision. She could see Master Crowley’s back to her when Mr. Young held the door open. Trying to think fast she walked up to him putting the now full carry cot next to him on the desk.

 “Here is you son Master Crowley,” she said as way of explanation. The yellow eyes turned on her and the primal urge to run shot up her spine. Mr. Young was too distracted to notice, walking up next to her and leaned against the desk.

“Umm, does the birth certificate need signing?” he asked looking over the desk at all the papers. The Mother Superior who had been overseeing Crowley filling out all the correct papers in the right places. It wouldn’t do to have buggered up the paperwork on such a big job. She pulled a file over the papers and put on her best plastic smile. She flicked through the relevant files and produced a birth certificate for Mr. Young. She also pulled one out and handed it to Crowley. Conscious of the presents of Mr. Young, Crowley took the offered page. Mr. Young peeked into cot at the baby.

“He’s a cute one,” he says trying to rope Crowley into a conversation so he can talk about his own kid. Crowley doesn’t acknowledge him. Not deterred, Mr. Young filled in the birth certificate leaving the name till last. He still needed to talk to his wife about it.

“Though of a name yet?” he asked. Again, this was met by silenced. Mr. Young looked over at Crowley, he was well dressed and very out of places here. He didn’t have the look of expectant father. He looked worried.

“We were thinking about Adam,” he continued. This conversation was going to happen even if he had to do it himself. However, this got a reaction out of the other man. He laughed. He snorted then laughed out loud.

“Something wrong with Adam?” Mr. Young questioned, getting slightly defensive over a possible name for his son. The man pushed his long hair back away from his face. He was handsome, even Mr. Young had to admit that.

“No, it’s a fine name. But I knew an Adam once, he was a complete bastard,”.

Sister Mary giggled under her breath. But then frowned at the thought of how a demon knew the original Adam. She puzzled over this for the rest of the conversation.

Mr. Young let his shoulders drop,

“What would you suggest then?” he asked sheepishly. Crowley turned on him and Mr. Young had to squash a sudden urge to back away and make himself small. Crowley looks him up and down before speaking. His emotionless sunglasses making it feel like he wasn’t blinking. He wasn’t but behind the glasses no one could tell.

“Something royal may be. Henry, James, William?” he suggested. Mr. Young felt better about these names.

 Crowley looked back at the almost complete page in front of him.

“It doesn’t matter, it will all be over in eleven years anyway.” Crowley mumbled glumly as he looked at the last section of the certificate

FIRST NAME:

It was blank. He stared at it. Did he have to name it?

“Oh,” Mr. Young said confused. In an effort to change the typic he looked into the cot again, “You know, he looks like an Adam.” he added.

Crowley huffed but he couldn’t think of anything better. Plus, it made sense in an ironic way. Crowley scribbled the name down on the final dotted line on the page pushing it towards the nun. He snatched the carry cot of the desk and strode out the lobby. Mr. Young tried to wave goodbye, but Crowley was long gone.

 Sister Annabelle handed the baby to the ambassador’s wife who looked down at him with the love of a first-time mother,

“Sorry that took so long Your Ladyship, he is such a scrumptious little man. Every nun in the convent had to coo at him,” Sister Annabelle sighed as she stood back, her job was done. She really needs a cup of tea now.

Mother Superior quietly pushed open the door and came in.

“Oh what a little lord,” she said causing all nuns in the room to smile. “Have you thought of a name?”

 The convent burnt down that night. However, the only paperwork that was destroyed was form that night. Apart from the birth certificate of one James Henry Young

 Crowley pulled the Bentley into a short dead-end road that was the entrances to a farmer’s field. He cut the engine and the lights of the snarling beast of a car disappeared, leaving only the dark hedgerow in front of him.

The silence enveloped the car, seeming to seep in through all the gaps in the doors and poured out of the vents. Soon Crowley was engulfed in it. He paused, appreciating the moment. The sound of the engine cooling was the only noise that could be heard inside the car. The carry cot next to him cooed. He looked over at his new acquisition and pulled it closer to him. He carefully pulled the small and oh so delicate baby out and laid him across his knees looking up at him. The baby yawned but seemed very much awake. The white blanket that was bundled around him stopping his arms from moving.

Crowley huffed and rubbed his faces pushing his glasses off slightly. He squeezed his eyes shut and began to mutter at the baby,

“Okay first test,”

He pulled his glasses off completely and crouched over the baby sticking his tough out. Letting the glamor over it drop so the tips flicked over the babies scrunched up little nose. His eyes almost glowed yellow in the darkness he didn’t show his true, true form just these small parts. The Baby screeched and Crowley jerked back worried, but unsurprised, that he had terrified the poor thing. When the screech turned into a gurgling laugh, he looked back at the baby who had wiggled free an arm and was grabbing at Crowley with a gummy grin. Slight confused Crowley rewrapped the baby in his white blanket and shifted it to be cradled in his arms,

“Okay so you passed the first test. Now we need to go other some ground rules if this arrangement is going to work out.”.

The baby babbled at him trying to wiggle free of his confines. He seemed fine with the whole yellow eyes and snake toung though. Probably knew no different, Crowley wondered leaning back in the driver’s seat.

“So I will house you, feed you and take care of you until you have worked out how to use a toilet after that we can look into the walking, talking, reading, writing business but there are some conditions that you have to uphold,”.

The baby sneezed, looked shocked at this strange turn of events, blinked a few times before looking back up at the demon. Now that he had the baby’s attention again Crowley continued,

“Firstly, the family you came from, the one that has the antichrist.” The baby watched him with uncanny eyes that seemed to understand what he was saying. That or more worryingly for Crowley he was ranting at a newborn infant that had no idea what was going on and was just watching him make noises in the dark car.

“Warlock, they called him Warlock.”

The baby gave him a half smile, hoping that the smile was from recognizing the name.

“You’re gonna have to be friends with that brat. secondly you will not get in my way or interfere with my work.”

The baby yawned at him. It seemed that all the excitement was getting the better of him its eyes began to slip closed. Crowley rocked him slightly trying not to enjoy holding the child, a small part of him that was thought to be long dead, started to thaw. He placed the baby back in the carry cot in the passenger’s seat. The baby whimpered at the movement but settled back in the crib snuggling into the blanket.

Crowley backed out and onto the road, where was the nearest mother care?

 Azriaphale had just got back to the book shop when the phone rang. He paused hanging his coat up on its peg, before picking it up, he suspected who it might be but wasn’t sure. He plucked the phone from the handle and held it daintily to his ear,

“I’m dreadfully sorry but I’m afraid we are closed at the...,” his polite but discouraging scripted was cut by a very familiar voice,

“It’s me Angel.”

It sounded although Crowley was making this call from a phone box. Oh dear, what trouble had he gotten himself into now.

“Crowley? Is that you?” he asked anyway knowing the answer,

“Yes. We need to talk.” He said matter of factly.

“Yes, I rather think we do.” Azriaphale thought of the conversation he had had with Gabriel earlier that day.

Crowley looked through the window of the Bentley at the sleeping baby inside. He hung up the phone and got back into the car. He looked over at the child. He was so small. Crowley stroked his cheek with a black nailed finger.

“You have no idea what is going on. I envy you Adam,” the baby sighed in his sleep.