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middletone · 7 months ago

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Introduction Post

My Perfection-run Farmer is Leander. He’s roughly in his late twenties; a latent witch, having let the forest magic he had begun to cultivate as a child staying with his grandfather fade once he moved to the city with his mother. Will he be able to reawaken his powers after returning to Aurora Fields Farm?

Well, we’re doing the Community Center route, so probably.

I’ve never really kept a game log before and I thought it would be fun; Stardew Valley lends itself to this type of thing so well imo. I’ll do weekly (in game) updates of the highlights so I’m not flooding people’s dash.

WILL CONTAIN 1.6 SPOILERS! Tagging as “Aurora Fields” if people would prefer to block; mod list under the cut.

Aurora Fields is a Meadowlands-type farm with remixed CC bundles & mining rewards; guaranteed 1st year completion set.

Initial Goals:

Fast-track Blue Chickens - I thought you had to marry Shane so I have never gotten them

Max hearts - Everyone will be our friend, so help me

Marry Sebastian - He was my first bae and continues to be my favorite; also best spouse room

Spring – Year 1: Week 1 - Week 2 - Week 3 - Week 4

Summer – Year 1: Week 1- Week 2 - Week 3 - Week 4

Mod List (Available on Nexus):

Better Butterfly Hutch

CJB Cheats Menu - Durable Fences, No Friendship Decay, Instant Catch Fish enabled

Content Patcher

Content Patcher Animations

Crafting Collection

Daily Screenshot

Deluxe Journal

Dynamic Reflections

Farm Icon on Load Screen

Fast Animations

Generic Mod Config Menu

Highlighted Jars

Horse Squeeze

Menu Cycle

Monster Slayer Anywhere

More Grass

NPC Map Locations

Part of the Community

Portraiture - Using SHIE’s Portraits (hoping for an update to include the new outfits)

PyTKLite

UI Info Suite 2

Visible Fish - Viewable Trash disabled

Babies Take After Spouse V2

Bathhouse Hot Spring

Bedroom & Kitchenette

Better Lilypads

Better Water

Clint Rewritten

Bath House Running Water

Musical Cellar

Summer Bird & Cicada Sounds

Even Better Artisan Good Icons

Fancy Artisan Good Icons EBAGI Pack

Fancy Artisan Good Icons Retexture

Elle’s Cuter Barn Animals - Edited various assets

Elle’s Cuter Cats (Edited) - Edited assets to incorporate my IRL cat, Steve

Elle's Cuter Coop Animals - Edited various assets

Elle's Dirt & Cliff Recolor

Elle's Cuter Horses

Elle's Seasonal Buildings

Elle's Town Buildings - Edited Marnie's Ranch to have original colors

Family Choices Expanded

Jealousy Responses Begone

Less Ugly Spouse Rooms

Love Letters

Night Market Cat Boat

Perma-Fluffy Sheep

Please, Remember My Marriage

Seasonal Mariner to Mermaid

Seasonal Special Orders Board

Seasonal Wedding Arch

Rustic Traveling Cart (Edited) - Edited assets to keep original cart color, but incorporate modded boar & roof shape

Simple Foliage

Simple Resources

Spam Mail

Squid-like Squid Kids

Uniform Rings

Animated Junicrows

Animated Mining Pack

Auto Animal Doors

Automate

Better Train Loot - Set to max 1 train per day, otherwise too chaotic/OP

Change Farm Caves

Custom Fixed Dialogue

Destroyable Bushes

Fall 28 Snow Day

Fall 28 Snow Dialouge

Greenhouse Sprinklers

Like a Duck to Water

Placement Plus

Ring Overhaul

Stardew Hack

Supply Crates on Beach

Tree Transplant

Waterproof Items

Wear More Rings

Bachelors/ettes Stay Friends

Better Beach Farms

Blue Eggs & Golden Mayo - Edited to match EBAGI

Elle's Grass Replacement

Immersive Spouses

Natural Paths - Gravel Path changed to Dark Grass path, Wood Path changed to Light Grass path

Please, Remember My Birthday

Demetrius Visits Farm Cave Redux - Set to Saturdays as Demetrius doesn't so anything special on Saturdays/there are no Saturday Festivals

More Grass – Set to 50% coverage; using Ali’s Flower Grass, Lumisteria More Flowery Grass, & Lumisteria Short Flowery Grass

Platonic Partners & Friendships

Platonic Relationships

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv farmer #daily sdv #aurora fields #sdv 1.6

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crushedbyhyperbole · 5 years ago

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Some Like it Saucy (TFV)

Summary: Cooped up in the compound while the team conference with Secretary ‘Toss-pot’ Ross, you decide to cook and decorate. What better way to fill the team’s hearts and bellies than a Marrakech-themed evening with Bucky’s favourite food - Moroccan tagine.

Words: 1.6k

A/N: Written for @buckybarnesbeans leap year challenge filling the dialog prompt: “Which one of you Bollocks thinks my chicken is dry? You? You?” (In bold). It’s a Bucky x Reader originally written as an adult reader, but this is the teen-friendly version. Thank you @sassy-pelican for giving the original a read to check for mess-ups

Warnings: Bad language and British slang. Fluff. Light on reader insecurities towards the end.

The living areas of the compound were quiet and hollow; the whole team was gone and you were left alone. It felt eerie. Like the rest of the world had vanished and you were the sole inhabitant of a world once teeming with life. You shivered at the thought of such endless solitude.

There were remnants of their existence, of course. The alluring yet comforting smell of Bucky’s soap in your bathroom this morning, a half-drank mug of coffee on the common room table, a messily folded newspaper with a half-completed crossword puzzle, and an open packet of Tony’s favourite trail mix hidden in the magazine rack. It wasn’t like they had been snapped out of existence or anything, they were all at a conference with Secretary Ross.

Dickhead, you thought.

Ever since that mission in London where you picked up some amusing English insults that you later took pleasure in using on Secretary Ross, your absence at debriefings and conferences involving him had been, let’s say, strongly advised. Needless to say, Secretary Ross didn’t appreciate you calling him a wanker and telling him that he talked a load of bollocks.

It had been a fun mission though. The team had been brought in to help MI5 foil a plot to steal the crown jewels and reunite the nine pieces of the famous Cullinan diamond, which occult conspiracy theorists say was a stone of great power. Cullinan I, in particular, was an exquisite stone. Housed in the majestic sceptre with the cross, it had piqued your interest purely for its unusual refractive index; there was something about that stone, you could feel it with your powers as you pushed your influence through the security case to interact with the stone.

Goosebumps broke out across your skin and you shook yourself free of the memory. The eeriness of the compound seemed to have increased since invoking the feeling of the power of the stone but you cast it aside as best you could, latching on to the annoyance you felt that Secretary Ross was robbing you of a lazy morning with Bucky. Tosser!

Boredom made your bones itch. You needed to do something other than going back to your room to vegetate until everyone came back, so you decided to cook dinner. Moroccan chicken tagine. It was one of Bucky’s favourite meals, and since everyone was suffering the presence of Secretary Tosser, you figured they deserved a reward.

Delicious smells of savoury meat, fragrant spices and sweet apricots filled the kitchen as the team emerged from the elevator. You were finishing up by adding a handful of chopped coriander leaves to the tagine, humming a tune while you worked, when strong arms snaked around your waist and a beardy kiss pressed against your temple. You’d know the feel and smell of Bucky anywhere.

“Hey, baby!” You smiled. “How is Secretary Tosser?”

“You didn’t miss anything good.” He chuckled in your ear, kissing your neck softly. You adored that you were both still very much in love after years of being together. “He finally fired that P.A. who wrote that you called him a wanker into the meeting transcript that time.”

“No!” You gasped. That woman was a legend in her own right. “That’s fucking terrible -oooo! I hate that man!”

“Relax, Rainbow Brite,” Tony appeared beside you, “I hired her this afternoon so she’ll take notes for all of our meetings with Ross when he’s here.” He beamed, lifting the lid of your tagine and groaning with pleasure as the steam rose. “That smells amazing.”

“Thanks boss.” You grinned, feeling the fuzzy warmth of his praise and the dark satisfaction that Ross wouldn’t be able to bully that poor P.A. anymore.

“You made this? Should I be worried?” Tony feigned horror. “Barnes is still alive so your cooking can’t be all that bad-oof!” He grunted as you flapped the back of your hand into his gut, hard.

“Stark!” You growled in warning.

“Okayyy, good talk.” He bolted with a cheeky grimace.

Bucky held you tight to his chest so you couldn’t give chase and assault Tony with your wooden spoon. “Easy, tiger.” He soothed, knowing just how to calm your fiery temper.

The team came together for dinner and you all sat on floor cushions around a low table to eat. You had enlisted the help of Vision to create your Marrakech themed night and you had both outdone yourselves. Cannibalising one of the conference rooms had been a stroke of genius and, in your opinion, it was a far better use for the room than boring meetings. The dim glow of the ornate iron lanterns and the holographic fire courtesy of FRIDAY, the makeshift marquee made from brightly coloured fabrics, the smell from the food you’d made, and the soft but authentic music made you feel like you’d stepped through a portal into a souk lounge in the heart of Morocco.

“Next time, let’s not invite the others.” Bucky murmured in your ear after you had all settled and began to eat. “It’ll be just you and me,” he whispered, “with a movie, great food, comfy cushions, and cuddles.”

“Sounds like the recipe for a perfect night.” You sighed, body relaxing at the thought of unwinding with him and a movie, but what movie? You loved a high-octane action adventure film, or an epic Sci-Fi, but you also loved a good rom-com too. As your brain filtered through all the films you had on your Netflix list, you zoned out, running on auto-pilot.

“Pardon me, Y/n?” The words feel foreign; soft but still plenty sharp to snap you back to reality.

You’d eaten with the team, smiled at them when they’d thanked you for making a wonderful dinner, and had been clearing away dishes in a complete daze. Across the kitchen, Bucky smirked at you from where he was piling plates into the dishwasher. That little shit knew exactly what he’d done.

“Miss y/n?” Vision looked concerned as he laid a hand gently on your shoulder. “Is everything alright?”

“I’m good.” You mentally shook yourself, making a mental note to torment Bucky later, maybe make him watch that terrible mermaid show you found. “I’m aaaalll good.”

Vision nodded curtly, pausing a moment before he addressed the reason he’d approached you in the first place.

“I’ve taken the liberty of suggesting an amendment for your tagine recipe, to increase the sauce to meat ratio while leaving the delicate balance of flavours intact.”

“Why? What’s wrong with my recipe?”

“Nothing is wrong.” He smiled warmly. “A comment was made that more sauce would have been welcome.”

“More sauce, huh?” You slid your tray of crockery onto the nearest counter and picked up a tray of baked spiced orange pastries and mint sugared pineapple pieces. “I’ll take it under advisement.”

When you delivered dessert and settled on your cushion next to Bucky, he squeezed your thigh reassuringly as the chatter quietened while the team tucked into the delicious moist pastries. He was about to tell you he was proud of you for not allowing your irritation to flare but he didn’t get the chance. He knew you were insecure, underneath the foul mouth and the bravado was a girl who needed reassurance that she was more than just good enough.

“So…” You cocked your head as the eyes of the whole team fell on you. “Which one of you bollocks thinks my chicken is dry?” You pointed your spoon around the table starting at Sam. “You?” He was always the first to talk shit, even if it was just a joke. “You?” Natasha fell under your gaze.

“No one said it was dry, sweetie.” She smiled kindly, seeing your outburst for what it was – you really needed to know you’d done a good job. You’d felt useless being stuck at the compound while the rest of the team had meet and greets with officials. No matter how boring they really were, you felt left out. You’d had Vision for company but he didn’t share your feelings. “I just said I’d kill for more of that awesome sauce and Vision, being the pragmatic type, figured he’d save lives and help you update the recipe.”

You huffed a little but relaxed as Bucky laid his arm across your shoulder. “You know she likes things a bit saucy, babe.” He winked at you.

“Don’t give me that… you big winker!” You chuckled and elbowed him in the ribs playfully. “Earlier you said something about movies and cuddles, and I expect you to deliver.”

Bucky was up on his feet immediately, pulling you up and slinging you over his shoulder while you squealed in protest. “If you’ll excuse us,” he addressed the room, “we have a recipe to discuss.”

“Sounds like a recipe for disaster.” Sam scoffed around a mouthful of pineapple.

“Don’t tempt fate.” Nat scolded.

Bucky snagged a couple of colourful cushions and whacked you with them as he carried you giggling from conference room Marrakech. He was a man of his word and you could expect nothing but relaxation and adoration. And, as the door of your room closed firmly, you found that you didn’t much mind spending the day apart because he was there now, and always would be.

#raesleapyearchallenge #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes fluff #my writing #cloudy's writing

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your-dietician · 2 years ago

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Sandra Bullock Lists 91-Acre San Diego Compound For $6 Million

New Post has been published on https://medianwire.com/sandra-bullock-lists-91-acre-san-diego-compound-for-6-million/

Sandra Bullock Lists 91-Acre San Diego Compound For $6 Million

ZenHouse Collective and Preview First

Actress Sandra Bullock has channeled much of her A-list wealth into real estate ventures, having bought and sold homes in Austin, Texas, Los Angeles, New York, a Georgia Tybee Island home and more across the country. Now a producer, she has just listed her stunning 91-acre compound in San Diego for $6 million.

The property, which the actress purchased for $2.75 million in 2009, includes hundreds of olive, avocado, and citrus trees, a gorgeous adobe hacienda, detached guesthouse, luscious floral gardens and a walk-in chicken coop.

The nearly 6,000-square-foot home sits atop a hill, offering 360-degree views of the serene landscape. Built in 1990 and completely renovated, the home has rustic touches but a contemporary aesthetic. High-beam ceilings, crisp white walls, and an abundance of French doors offer excellent air flow and natural light.

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The gourmet kitchen features soapstone counters and an Italian marble backsplash with an inlaid mosaic, plus top-of-the-line appliances. The stylish library features one of the home’s nine fireplaces and lighted shelving. Each of the four spacious bedrooms has its own en-suite and private entrance from the home’s several flowing verandas. The primary suite is impressive, with an adobe fireplace, spacious lounge, jetted tub, steam shower and private access to the pool.

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The sunny, heated saltwater pool includes an outdoor entertainment zone with a gas outdoor fireplace, a big-screen TV and a pool room. The gorgeous grounds feature an iron-gated central courtyard with a fountain and a beehive, a certified organic avocado orchard and numerous other fruit-bearing trees. The three-bedroom, two-bath guesthouse includes a fireplace, gazebo and spa. The gated compound is protected by security cameras and enhanced by a smart home system, while other energy-efficient features include solar panels and an electric car charging station.

ZenHouse Collective and Preview First

Valley Center is a rural community north of San Diego, best known for its Memorial Day Stampede Rodeo and Independence Day Western Days Festival. Other options for entertainment include the Hellhole Canyon Preserve, which offers 13.5 miles of hiking trails, and the Harrah’s Resort Southern California Casino. The bucolic community has played host to celebrities from the golden age of Hollywood to the present, including Fred Astaire, auto tycoon John Delorean, Mae West and John Wayne.

Getty Images

Named one of Time’s 100 most influential people in the world in 2010, Bullock has starred in numerous movie blockbusters, including comedies, dramas and action thrillers. Dubbed “America’s sweetheart,” the versatile actress has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and took home the Oscar for Best Actress for the football classic The Blind Side.

In 2010 and 2014, she was the world’s highest-paid actress. She has starred in over 50 films, many of them huge commercial successes, including Speed, Miss Congeniality and Ocean’s 8. Now a producer, her company, Fortis Films, has produced several of her star vehicles as well as other projects for television and streaming channels.

Read full article here

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pinerio · 2 years ago

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Automatic chicken door

Automatic chicken door install#

Automatic chicken door manual#

Jvr automatic chicken door coop opener kit, waterproof light sensor controller actuator motor, 12v dc/solar battery power (light sensation) 14 out of 19 users on amazon give it a 5-star rating followed by 2 giving 4-stars, 2 giving 3-stars, and 1 giving a 1-star review.

Automatic chicken door install#

easy to install and comes with color illustrated instructions. Jvr automatic chicken coop door - big screen. ChickenGuard is the worlds leading brand.

Automatic chicken door manual#

the kit is not only easy to install, but also comes with an instruction manual describing how you can automate the time your coop opens or closes. Manufactured to military grade specs, hardened for extreme environments. The automatic chicken coop door is reliable when faced low and high temperatures, from -86F to 131F (-30C to 55C). Jvr automatic chicken door coop opener kit utilizes advanced technology to make it dependable and reliable in ensuring your poultry is secure day and night. 9-jvr automatic chicken door coop opener kit get it now on if you have chickens and ducks and want to save yourself from the hassle of waking up in the morning to open your coop door, this automatic chicken door kit is designed for you. birds can also use this automatic chicken door easily as it opens in the morning and shuts in the evening. it is easy to install and needs no special cabling or wiring. The auto door opener can protect your hens, roosters from predators like foxes, raccoons and keep them safe, happy and healthy. It can be fitted to any wooden chicken coop, and has been specially designed to also be fitted to Omlet’s Eglu Cube MK1, and MK2. Three modes of operation: Dawn-to-Dusk (A.K.A. Battery powered and featuring both a timer and light sensor, the Omlet Universal Automatic Chicken Coop Door is one of the best we’ve found. Automatic Chicken Door - Electric Automatically Opens and Closes your Coop Door. ChickenGuard Automatic Chicken Coop Door Openers are Tried & Trusted by OVER 50,000 users worldwide Giving you peace of mind by helping to protect your. jvr automatic chicken door is suitable for chicken and duck coops. Kicking off our list is the Omlet Universal Automatic Chicken Coop Door. We offer an automatic chicken coop door closer that has changed the lives of. jvr automatic chicken door coop opener kit. Get the best automatic chicken coop and door kit for sale at Cheeper Keeper. doing this would relieve us from worrying if the chickens were safe at night and to be able to leave the house when we wanted) this door will be locate…. Automatic chicken coop door: i wanted a small door to open automatically (via arduino - morning/night) to the outside world. ChickSafe hen house door openers automatically open your coop door in the morning and close it at night allowing you to go out for the evening or to have a.

#Automatic chicken door

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pepper-news · 2 years ago

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The Benefits of Buying an Automatic Chicken Door

If you want to keep your chickens safe and healthy, you may consider buying an Automatic Chicken Coop Door. These devices are highly programmable, which means that they can be set to open and close at specific times of the day. Some are self-timers, while others have an adjustable timer. These devices also have additional features, including light sensors and manual operation. However, buying one for your coop is a significant investment, and many are inexpensive.

Self-timer

One of the benefits of buying an automatic Chicken Door self-timer is the ability to set the opening and closing time for the door. This prevents you from getting up in the middle of the night and worrying about leaving your chickens outside. Some automatic doors are also equipped with a sunrise or sunset detection feature.

Another benefit is that the door closes gradually and virtually silently. However, if an obstacle blocks its path, the door may keep moving and crush sleeping chickens. Therefore, it is essential to install a safety sensor to prevent accidental closure of the door. If you can't install this sensor in your chicken coop, you may need to make minor changes to the design of the door so that it opens and closes smoothly.

Adjustable timer

An adjustable timer for the chicken door is essential for letting chickens out early in the morning. It works by sensing light and opening the door only when it feels light. This is excellent for people who are up early but want to let chickens out in the morning. The Rural365 Automatic Chicken Coop Door and Timer is perfect for this problem. This timer can run on four AA batteries or be plugged into the primary power source; It is also made from a durable aluminum door and oak rails. In addition, this timer can be adjusted to fit most chickens.

Light sensor

You might consider getting an automatic chicken door if you have a chicken coop. The good thing is that many options are available at different price ranges. Choosing the best one for your coop will depend on your personal preferences and the size of your budget. A good auto chicken door should not break the bank but should give you peace of mind if anything goes wrong.

An automatic chicken door can be manually controlled or operated with a timer or light sensor. The light sensor mode opens and closes the door according to the light level in the coop, while the timer mode allows you to set the door to open and close on a specific date. The manual mode allows you to open and close the door when necessary manually.

Manual function

You can choose a manual or automatic chicken door for your poultry stall. These doors can be mains or battery-operated. It is essential to select the type that fits your poultry house. You can find manual and automatic entries in our shop. In addition, you can find one that suits your needs by browsing our website.

You may also want a door that automatically opens in the morning and closes at night. Automatic doors can be frustrating to use, as the chickens may get trapped and not get inside in time. Manual doors are also vulnerable to wind gusts, which can trap chickens and kill them.

Easy installation

When you purchase an automatic Chicken Door, you need to consider the ease of installation. Some models are simply plug-in and can be installed in 30 minutes. Others are more complex and require professional installation. Either way, the best way to install your automatic Chicken Door is to have someone with electrical experience install it. The first step to installing your Automatic Chicken Door is to check for the power source and ensure it is within range.

The automatic Chicken Door will help you leave your flock easier when getting in and out of the coop. You can also get a chicken door that will automatically close at dusk. This will allow you to be away from your flock without worrying about them being locked out at night. It's essential to remember that chickens start looking for a safe roost as the sun sets. Therefore, ensure that everyone is in the coop before dusk so your automatic Chicken Door will be fully operational when you return.

#Automatic Chicken Coop Door

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chickenthingsandmore · 3 years ago

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Best Automatic Chicken Coop Door

To make the right decisions about the most suitable security door for your hens, you must have as much information as possible in this regard, such as that provided by Automatic Chicken Coop Doors. We refer in this case to the square meters of the hen house that your hens have since based on this, you will evaluate the automatic door for the hen house that best suits your space. The important thing is to safeguard the life of your birds and the quality of life of the owners, in having to lose hours of sleep taking care of the chickens from the foxes, weasels, among other predatory animals that love the meat of their chickens, which tend to stalk overnight and eat your birds, destroying your investment and peace of mind.

Forget getting up early to open the hen house for your large birds, shutting them down when night falls, and wasting hours of sleep setting up vigils to protect your chickens. Automatic Chicken Coop Doors will take care of that. These types of doors are designed to open automatically in the morning and close at night when the hens are already settling in their hen house to sleep after their intense day. Your hens will be safe and secure from predators thanks to the automatic door they have for their protection and safety.

Chickens have their dynamics during the day, we generally allow them to come out of their hen houses to dig, peck, and take dirt and sunbaths; However, this scenario changes at night, because hens, chickens, and other poultry are very vulnerable at night, so measures must be taken to ensure their safety at night. Thus then, security doors offer many advantages when deciding to purchase them, since they constitute preventive measures against the vulnerability that birds are subjected to at night. There are different types: auto-programmable digital, with motor and/or manuals, the choice of any of them will depend on our requirements and particular needs.

Normally, Automatic Chicken Coop Doors are specially designed for outdoor chicken coops, keeping the motor isolated from humidity and inclement weather; in some cases, the motor works with batteries or there is also an electric current through a USB connection. The important thing, in any case, is to provide the hens with the greatest security and keep them out of the reach of predators at night.

Comparison of the Best Automatic Chicken Coop Doors

1. Chicken Guard Automatic Locking Chicken Door Kit

Chicken Guard Kit offers 100% recycled runners, very resistant and durable; Its aluminum door has proportions of 25 cm x 30 cm and the corridors have a length of 59.5 cm, which makes its use and manipulation very practical by the user. Chicken Guard Kit has a safety mechanism that offers the guarantee that once the door is completely down or closed, the wings are released, shielding the chicken coop and adding a level of comfort and safety for you and your chickens.

Chicken Guard Kit is friendly with spaces since it does not cause any type of damage to the environment and has the guarantee of a 100% recyclable product. It also has a digital screen that allows you to program it at the right time for you and your chickens; Its innovative and practical design will generate value in your chicken coop, due to its distinction and attractiveness, and for us, safety and design do not compete, but on the contrary, technology is placed at your service.

Advantage 100% recyclable Automatic Chicken Coop Doors It is safe It has a design adaptable to any chicken coop It is practical and resistant Automatic Chicken Coop Doors with self-locking mechanism Disadvantages Has no rating or opinion

Visit here for more detail about Best Automatic Chicken Coop Door

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star-nova · 5 years ago

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The Lives of the RiffRaff: Franz Fawke-Hecklers

We Are the RiffRaff Rickie Johnson-The Art of War Vera Sherwood-Little Sister Kali Muburu-Hair Tracy Kwan-Vergil

The RiffRaff keep to themselves and the Others—you know, the not-Riffraff—do the same. The paths don't cross, and there's no need for our worlds to overlap. They don't want a damn thing to do with us, that's why they call us RiffRaff in the first place. What they don't know is that we wear that title like a medal of honor.

For the most part, they don't really bother with us. They watch us from the lofty heights of their front porches, backyards, and curbsides and judge only silently. But then there are the ones that aren't silent about it. There are the Hecklers.

The Hecklers are usually teenagers, usually boys but sometimes girls. Some are older, some are younger, and none of them know how to keep their bloody mouths shut. They throw their heads back, cackling like chickens in a coop, crowing loud enough to be heard all over town. Unlike the regular Others that are just confused by us, these guys have a profound dislike for anything they consider out of the ordinary. How very dare we not conform to their idea of what the world is like? Don't we understand that the whole world revolves around them?

These nasty little bastards don't have a single care in the world. They say what they want, do what they want, and to hell with you if you don't like it. Once, I caught them mocking Vera Sherwood while her brother was away. “Derrrr...” they said, imitating her muscle spasms and the way her head rolls side-to-side. They were standing close enough for her to hear them, but far enough away to feign innocence when she turned her head and hollered, “You talking 'bout me, you turds?” They act as though one bad fall or one unfortunate accident on the bikes they love so much couldn't leave them in her condition or worse. When I found Leon and the two of us chased them off, they only let out their chicken-cackles and went off to find someone else to harass.

The Hecklers don't care who yells at them. They don't care who tells them off. They don't care that they're the most rancid pieces of garbage that ever walked the Earth, and that their fathers should've pulled out before they ever got a chance to exist. If you holler at them, they just laugh. Try to use reason with them, and they just plug their ears and make you look like the crazy one. Charmain Dekker, one of the sweetest RiffRaffs you ever could meet, has tried to be nice to them. She's offered them leftover cookies from her barbecue and volunteered to buy them ice cream from the truck when they didn't have any money. They gladly accepted the gifts, but still hollered, “Hey, hooknose!” when they passed by her house on their bikes. There's no stopping them.

Even ignoring them has no effect. “Hecklers,” my wife, Emery, once said, “get bored real fast if they don't have anything to heckle.” Well, that may be true for your ordinary run-of-the-mill hecklers. These Hecklers, however, are demons. Anna Ming ignored their cries of, “If your eyes are so squinty, then how do you see?” until they followed her out to her car, squinting their eyes and yelling, “Ching-chong, ching-chong!” the whole way. She turned on them and told them that if they were going to follow her out to her car, she was going to call the police on them for harassment. They all scattered then, hollering “ching-chong” as they ran off. Sophia Bolshevik stood her ground when a few of their girls commented on how her makeup makes her look like a whore, but when she reached the safety of her car, she cried where they couldn't heckle her for that too. The one thing you never want to do is let them have any sort of effect on you—after all, they're only kids and you're the grown-up—but poor Sophia's too shy and tender-hearted for that.

It makes one wonder how and why we're considered the RiffRaff, yet wastes of life like this are simply “the neighborhood kids.” When Arthur Ratliff turned the hose on them when they refused to get away from his fence, the Others had plenty of choice words to say about him: “That man is a nasty piece of work.” “That guy is a brute. Just stay away from him.” “There are some sick people in this world. That guy is one of them.” Arthur wore it as a badge of pride, but it made me furious. They could act like brutes all they wanted and nobody bat an eye, but when they get their asses handed to them by an even bigger brute, only he's the bad guy. Screw that, Arthur had taught them the most valuable lesson that their parents and their schools refused to teach: don't fuck with others if you don't want them to fuck with you.

My worst situation with the Hecklers involved my beautiful wife.

Emery is the pride and the star of my world, but the two of us are as different as day and night. While I'm a loud-mouthed and profane little shit, Emery is as sweet as the banana cream pie she can bake like a pro. Take one look at her, and you can tell she's just as good at downing pies as she is at baking them. But for all her tendency to overindulge, the woman is built like a tank from weightlifting and rock-climbing and hauling tools and heavy auto parts back and forth. She's an absolute unit, and she could crush you just as easy as squashing a bug. But the most beautiful thing about Emery, to me, is that she would never hurt a soul. She'll pound sheet metal into submission until it begs for mercy, but she would never even think of hurting anybody, no matter how much they deserved to be crushed like scraps in a junkyard.

Usually, when the Hecklers came around our neck of the woods, they never got a chance to get as far as our house; Talia Santiago usually took them out with a few well-aimed stones before they even reached our corner of the street. If our neighbor's methods proved unsuccessful, the sound of Emery's sledgehammer against a sheet of metal would send them scattering. But this time, there was no Talia and no sledgehammer. There was only Emery, outside tending to her flower garden, and me, inside watching reruns of Shark Tank from the comfort of our recliner. I turned the volume down a bit so I could hear Em singing to the flowers. “They like it when you sing to them,” she swears. “They grow taller so they can be closer to the sound of your voice.” This time, she was singing our song:

Emmy Lane

is in my ears and in my eyes

There beneath

the blue surburban skies

Even after we married and Emery had taken my last name, Fawke, I still called her “Emmy Lane” and sang her the modified Beatles song. We'd both sung it at our wedding, even though I can't sing for shit.

I took a sip from my beer. On Shark Tank, someone was presenting a non-adhesive tape. Emery stopped singing, but I heard something else, an unmistakable chicken-cackle that sent me running for the window.

“That ain't how she walks,” a red-shirted Heckler was saying to his friends. “It's like this.” He puffed out his gut as far as it would go, inflated his cheeks like a chipmunk, spread out his arms, and waddled from side-to-side. “Oh, look,” the little bastard said, “a Snickers bar! Everybody out of my way!” He picked up the imaginary Snickers bar from the ground and mimed downing it in two ugly bites, messily sopping up the imaginary chocolate from his lips and fingers. Get the sledgehammer, Emmy, I pleaded silently.

But she didn't get the sledgehammer. Instead, she laughed, tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, and said, “Careful you don't bite off your fingers. Y'know, that happened once, in a particularly grisly incident with a devil dog.” She held up her right index finger. “It was covered in the cream filling and I couldn't resist! This one's just a fake.”

What the hell was this?! The boys' eyes got real wide, like they believed every word she said. “Is it really?” They moved in closer to the fence to get a closer look. Bloody morons!

Emery wiggled her finger at them. “You tell me,” she said with a smirk, before returning to her verbenas and singing “Emmy Lane” under her breath.

I tried to remember where Emery had left the sledgehammer—was it in the garage or in the shed? I could go look for it, but I didn't want to leave my wife alone with these bastards. They had decided they weren't done having their fun with her. While she sang our song, they walked around in circles outside the fence, chanting, “I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble.”

To my utter horror, Emery changed her song over to that! She sang right along with them, her voice rising right along with theirs, until they had quite the little song-and-dance party going on. My face burned with anger at them and at her. What the hell was wrong with her?! How could she encourage this? Didn't she know that's all she was doing, encouraging it? They didn't give a damn if she made light of it all. They didn't give a damn if she turned it into one big game. They were gonna keep on going anyway, and they'd do it again the next time they saw her, and again, and again, and again. Didn't she know that? Of course she knew that! She should be bending them out of shape like the metal at our shop! She should be crushing them under her heels like the rancid little roaches they were! She should be smashing them up like the pile of bricks in the backyard! Why wasn't she?

All I had was my beer can, and I was a piss-poor throw, but it would have to do. I grabbed it and poured the rest of the beer into the dirt patch outside the window. I hated that I had to waste good beer on these little shits, but they weren't gonna stand there and mock my girl and not expect to get anything back. I mentally readied my best possible insults: “Hey, you walking condom commercials!” “You miserable little wastes of life!” “Get the hell away from my wife, you future shit-shovelers of America!”

But when I flung the front door open with my can and my mouth at the ready, they had already taken off down the road. “Bye-bye, kiddos!” Emery called after them as if she was their friendly, pie-baking auntie. “Y'all stay safe and take care of yourselves, all right?”

It was too much. I crushed the can in my fist and chucked it on the ground at my feet. I tried to swallow my angry tears and failed. Emery set her watering can down and laid her hand on top of my head. She towered over me.

“How could you?” I asked, for once refusing to look into her beautiful face, lest my tears become out of control. “How could you stand there and let them treat you like that?”

She just gave me a kiss and said, “It's okay, Franz.”

“No it ain't!” I hollered. I had nowhere else to throw my anger except at her. “It's not fucking okay! They don't get to treat you like that, Emery! They don't have the right!” I had to get inside before I completely lost it and somebody saw me. I darted into the house and flung myself down on the recliner. I was breaking the number one rule, not to let them have any effect on me, and I was too messed up to care.

Emery followed after me. She put her hand on my back, gave me another kiss, and went to the kitchen to get me another beer. She was singing “Emmy Lane” again, and her hips were swinging back and forth. She was smiling like an angel.

#Fiction by Me #The Lives of the RiffRaff #writing #work in progress

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nicaurybenitezcortorreal-blog · 7 years ago

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Machine learning skills for software engineers

A long time ago in the mid 1950’s, Robert Heinlein wrote a story called “A Door into Summer” in which a competent mechanical engineer hooked up some “Thorsen tubes” for pattern matching memory and some “side circuits to add judgment” and spawned an entire industry of intelligent robots. To make the story more plausible, it was set well into the future, in 1970. These robots could have a task like dishwashing demonstrated to them and then replicate it flawlessly.

I don’t think I have to tell you, but it didn’t turn out that way. It may have seemed plausible in 1956, but by 1969 it was clear it wouldn’t happen in 1970. And then a bit later it was clear that it wouldn’t happen in 1980, either, nor in 1990 or 2000. Every 10 years, the ability for a normal engineer to build an artificially intelligent machine seemed to retreat at least as fast as time passed. As technology improved, the enormous difficulty of the problem became clear as layer after layer of difficulties were found.

TensorFlow, Spark MLlib, Scikit-learn, MXNet, Microsoft Cognitive Toolkit, and Caffe machine learning and deep learning frameworks. | Roundup: 13 frameworks for mastering machine learning. | Cut to the key news and issues in cutting-edge enterprise technology with the InfoWorld Daily newsletter. ]

It wasn’t that machine learning wasn’t solving important problems; it was. For example, by the mid-90’s essentially all credit card transactions were being scanned for fraud using neural networks. By the late 90’s Google was analyzing the web for advanced signals to aid in search. But your day to day software engineer didn’t have a chance of building such a system unless they went back to school for a Ph.D. and found a gaggle of like-minded friends who would do the same thing. Machine learning was hard, and each new domain required breaking a significant amount of new ground. Even the best researchers couldn’t crack hard problems like image recognition in the real world.

I am happy to say that this situation has changed dramatically. I don’t think that any of us is about to found a Heinlein-style, auto-magical, all-robotic engineering company in the near future, but it is now possible for a software engineer without any particularly advanced training to make systems that do really amazing stuff. The surprising part is not that computers could do these things. (It has been known since 1956 that this would be possible any day now!) What is surprising is how far we’ve come in the last decade. What would have made really good Ph.D. research 10 years ago is now a cool project for a weekend.

Machine learning is getting easier (or at least more accessible)

In our forthcoming book “Machine Learning Logistics”(coming in late September 2017 from O’Reilly), Ellen Friedman and I describe a system known as TensorChicken that our friend and software engineer, Ian Downard, has built as a fun home project. The problem to be solved was that blue jays were getting into our friend’s chicken coop and pecking the eggs. He wanted to build a computer vision system that could recognize a blue jay so that some kind of action could be taken to stop the pecking.

After seeing a deep learning presentation by Google engineers from the TensorFlow team, Ian got cracking and built just such a system. He was able to do this by starting with a partial model known as Inception-v3 and training it to the task of blue jay spotting with a few thousand new images taken by a webcam in his chicken coop. The result could be deployed on a Raspberry Pi, but plausibly fast response time requires something a bit beefier, such as an Intel Core i7 processor.

And Ian isn’t alone. There are all sorts of people, many of them not trained as data scientists, building cool bots to do all kinds of things. And an increasing number of developers are beginning to work on a variety of different, serious machine learning projects as they recognize that machine learning and even deep learning have become more accessible. Developers are beginning to fill roles as data engineers in a “data ops” style of work, where data-focused skills (data engineering, architect, data scientist) are combined with a devops approach to build things such as machine learning systems.

It’s impressive that a computer can fairly easily be trained to spot a blue jay, using an image recognition model. In many cases, ordinary folks can sit down and just do this and a whole lot more besides. All you need is a few pointers to useful techniques, and a bit of a reset in your frame of mind, particularly if you’re mainly used to doing software development.

Building models is different from building ordinary software in that it is data-driven instead of design-driven. You have to look at the system from an empirical point of view and rely a bit more than you might like on experimental proofs of function rather than careful implementation of a good design accompanied with unit and integration tests. Also keep in mind that in problem domains where machine learning has become easy, it can be stupidly easy. Right next door, however, are problems that are still very hard and that do require more sophisticated data science skills, including more math. So prototype your solution. Test it. Don’t bet the farm (or the hen house) until you know your problem is in the easy category, or at least in the not-quite-bleeding-edge category. Don’t even bet the farm after it seems to work for the first time. Be suspicious of good looking results just like any good data scientist.

Essential data skills for machine learning beginners

The rest of this article describes some of the skills and tactics that developers need in order to use machine learning effectively.

Let the data speak

In good software engineering, you can often reason out a design, write your software, and validate the correctness of your solution directly and independently. In some cases, you can even mathematically prove that your software is correct. The real world does intrude a bit, especially when humans are involved, but if you have good specifications, you can implement a correct solution.

With machine learning, you generally don’t have a tight specification. You have data that represents the past experience with a system, and you have to build a system that will work in the future. To tell if your system is really working, you have to measure performance in realistic situations. Switching to this data-driven, specification-poor style of development can be hard, but it is a critical step if you want to build systems with machine learning inside.

Learn to spot the better model

Comparing two numbers is easy. Assuming they are both valid values (not NaN’s), you check which is bigger, and you are done. When it comes to the accuracy of a machine learning model, however, it isn’t so simple. You have lots of outcomes for the models you are comparing, and there isn’t usually a clean-cut answer. Pretty much the most basic skill in building machine learning systems is the ability to look at the history of decisions that two models have made and determine which model is better for your situation. This judgment requires basic techniques to think about values that have an entire cloud of values rather than a single value. It also typically requires that you be able to visualize data well. Histograms and scatter plots and lots of related techniques will be required.

Be suspicious of your conclusions

Along with the ability to determine which variant of a system is doing a better job, it is really important to be suspicious of your conclusions. Are your results a statistical fluke that will go the other way with more data? Has the world changed since your evaluation, thus changing which system is better? Building a system with machine learning inside means that you have to keep an eye on the system to make sure that it is still doing what you thought it was doing to start with. This suspicious nature is required when dealing with fuzzy comparisons in a changing world.

Build many models to throw away

It is a well-worn maxim in software development that you will need to build one version of your system just to throw away. The idea is that until you actually build a working system, you won’t really understand the problem well enough to build that system well. So you build one version in order to learn and then use that learning to design and build the real system.

With machine learning, the situation is the same, but more so. Instead of building just one disposable system, you must be prepared to build dozens or hundreds of variants. Some of these variants might use different learning technologies or even just different settings for the learning engine. Other variants might be completely different restatements of the problem or the data that you use to train the models. For instance, you might determine that there is a surrogate signal that you could use to train the models even if that signal isn’t really what you want to predict. That might give you 10 times more data to train with. Or you might be able to restate the problem in a way that makes it simpler to solve.

The world may well change. This is particularly true, for instance, when you are building models to try to catch fraud. Even after you build a successful system, you will need to change in the future. The fraudsters will spot your countermeasures, and they will change their behavior. You will have to respond with new countermeasures.

So for successful machine learning, plan to build a bunch of models to throw away. Don’t expect to find a golden model that is the answer forever.

Don’t be afraid to change the game

The first question that you try to solve with machine learning is usually not quite the right one. Often it is dramatically the wrong one. The result of asking the wrong question can be a model that is nearly impossible to train, or training data that is impossible to collect. Or it may be a situation where a model that finds the best answer still has little value.

Recasting the problem can sometimes give you a situation where a very simple model to build gives very high value. I had a problem once that was supposed to do with recommendation of sale items. It was really hard to get even trivial gains, even with some pretty heavy techniques. As it turned out, the high value problem was to determine when good items went on sale. Once you knew when, the problem of which products to recommend became trivial because there were many good products to recommend. At the wrong times, there was nothing worth recommending anyway. Changing the question made the problem vastly easier.

Start small

It is extremely valuable to be able to deploy your original system to just a few cases or to just a single sub-problem. This allows you to focus your effort and gain expertise in your problem domain and gain support in your company as you build models.

Start big

Make sure that you get enough training data. In fact, if you can, make sure that you get 10 times more than you think you need.

Domain knowledge still matters

In machine learning, figuring out how a model can make a decision or a prediction is one thing. Figuring out what really are the important questions is much more important. As such, if you already have a lot of domain knowledge, you are much more likely to ask the appropriate questions and to be able to incorporate machine learning into a viable product. Domain knowledge is critical to figuring out where a sense of judgment needs to be added and where it might plausibly be added.

Coding skills still matter

There are a number of tools out there that purport to let you build machine learning models using nothing but drag-and-drop tooling. The fact is, most of the work in building a machine learning system has nothing to do with machine learning or models and has everything to do with gathering training data and building a system to use the output of the models. This makes good coding skills extremely valuable. There is a different flavor to code that is written to manipulate data, but that isn’t hard to pick up. So the basic skills of a developer turn out to be useful skills in many varieties of machine learning.

Many tools and new techniques are becoming available that allow practically any software engineer to build systems that use machine learning to do some amazing things. Basic software engineering skills are highly valuable in building these systems, but you need to augment them with a bit of data focus. The best way to pick up these new skills is to start today in building something fun.

Ted Dunning is chief applications architect at MapR Technologies and a board member for the Apache Software Foundation. He is a PMC member and committer of the Apache Mahout, Apache Zookeeper, and Apache Drill projects and a mentor for various incubator projects. He was chief architect behind the MusicMatch (now Yahoo Music) and Veoh recommendation systems and built fraud detection systems for ID Analytics (LifeLock). He has a Ph.D. in computing science from University of Sheffield and 24 issued patents to date. He has co-authored a number of books on big data topics including several published by O’Reilly related to machine learning. Find him on Twitter as @ted_dunning.

New Tech Forum provides a venue to explore and discuss emerging enterprise technology in unprecedented depth and breadth. The selection is subjective, based on our pick of the technologies we believe to be important and of greatest interest to InfoWorld readers. InfoWorld does not accept marketing collateral for publication and reserves the right to edit all contributed content. Send all inquiries to [email protected].

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http://www.infoworld.com/article/3223688/machine-learning/machine-learning-skills-for-software-engineers.html

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cooptender · 11 months ago

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The Best Auto Chicken Coop Door for Easy Handling

There are duties associated with keeping a backyard flock, and protecting your hens' safety and wellbeing should be your first concern. Discover the world of automated chicken coop doors, a technical innovation that has completely changed the way chickens are managed. This article discusses the characteristics and advantages of the best auto chicken coop door, which provides poultry keepers with security, convenience, and peace of mind.

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landscapeusa · 6 years ago

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itsworn · 6 years ago

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Check Out This Old Chicken Coop Full of Rare Muscle Cars!

Ever hear stories about places that don’t exist anymore? I had traveled through Wisconsin many times over the years, unfortunately after a place called the Dells Auto Museum had closed its doors. I had no idea what was behind those doors, but I had heard stories from friends that it was a nice place. As fortune would have it, I met the son of the owner, and he took me to see the few cars they had left.

Lance Tarnutzer Jr., the grandson of the museum’s owner, and I had talked online through social media and met at various car shows around central Wisconsin through the years. But timing just never quite worked out to get out to the family farm and see the collection. One cold winter day plans fell into place and I made it to the farm.

I met with Lance and his dad, Lance Sr., out at their storage barn, which was a converted chicken coop. We chatted a bit about how in years past, after church, Lance Sr. and his father, Dick, used to go get the local penny saver at the gas station, circle a handful of cars between $50 and $500, and then check them out, bringing a few home every week. Didn’t matter what it was—they would just go buy a car. Dick was a Ford man, but appreciated it all. That’s how it all started, and from there they built their collection, buying and selling. Eventually Dick wanted to share his collection with the public, so he rented a building in Wisconsin Dells and started the museum.

Of all the cars they liked, the family was really into pace cars. It didn’t matter what kind of pace car it was—if it was at the front of the pack during the parade laps at a NASCAR or Indy Car race, they wanted it. There was a little bit of everything, from a Studebaker Lark convertible pace car tribute all the way to factory-made Indy 500 pace car Fieros and Camaros. If they could not get an actual pace car model, they would get the same car and make tributes as close as possible to the originals.

The barn was filled from front to back and side to side with cars, most of them too close to one another to even open their doors. Many of them had been in there so long they had sunk into the dirt. But there was gold in the barn. Right up front was the Lark convertible that had been built as a tribute to the original 1962 Studebaker Lark pace car. It showed the scars from a 1999 fire that started in an outside bay at the storage warehouse and quickly spread to the rest of the building, engulfing the warehouse that housed a good portion of the cars that were not on display or in this barn. The family lost 53 cars, 43 of which were pace cars of some form. The Lark was lucky to have (barely) survived.

Across from the Lark was a car that I not-so-secretly lust after, a 1966 Mercury Comet Cyclone GT Indy pace car convertible. Only 100 S-Code pace cars were built in 1966, and they had two in the same barn! All of the cars were the same: red with white interior, 390 V-8, automatic transmission, power steering, power brakes, power top, and handling package. I had never seen a single one in all my travels, and here were two, sitting in an old chicken coop.

It got even better. There were two 1963 Impala SS 409/four-speed convertibles, a 1970 Cougar Eliminator Boss 302 owned by Lance Jr., a Ford Torino GT convertible with a Shaker hood, and the list just goes on and on.

This was just the first building for long-term projects. These were the cars that the family hoped to get to someday. In the other storage building, most of the vehicles were running and driving. This was the same building that burnt to the ground in 1999, along with the cars inside. The family rebuilt it and stuffed it full of even more cool cars.

Walking in you immediately notice an overcooked Superbird. Have you ever seen aircraft-grade aluminum melt? Neither had I. The Superbird wing got so hot, it melted to just stubs on the rear quarter-panels. Before the fire removed the paint job, it had an intricate red, white, and blue scheme with stars and stripes. Some of it remains on the lower parts of the car, providing a glimpse of what it used to be. Thankfully the car didn’t burn to the ground, and the 440 Six Pack, transmission, and most of the body is restorable.

This building was just like the coop, packed end-to-end with cool cars. Many of them were pace cars as well, including a rare 1964 Chrysler 300 pace car and a pair of restored 1967 and 1969 Camaro pace car convertibles. Not all were pace cars, like a 1970 Torino Cobra Shaker-hood car, a 1960 Ford Sunliner, and another 1966 Mercury Comet convertible, also a 390 S-code car, but not a factory pace car replica. This one was better with a four-speed on the floor.

Outside were a few more cars that were serious projects, but complete, including a rare 1969 Plymouth Road Runner convertible, an AMC Marlin, and a 1969 Plymouth Sport Fury convertible. These had been beaten by the Wisconsin elements for so long that it would be quite an undertaking to bring them back to any sort of usable condition.

Last but not least, at the family garage was a handful of cars, including a nice running and driving 1972 Hurst/Olds Indy pace car and a 1984 Pontiac Fiero Indy pace car.

The car I was there to see, though, was buried in the corner. You could barely make out what it was, but once you took in all the Shelby parts around it, and a few other pieces, well, I could not believe it. It was a legitimate 1968 Shelby GT 500KR convertible, one of 518 made. It was in rough shape, but had everything important—original engine, transmission, and so on. It just needed to be redone, but since the owner already had another 1968 Shelby GT 500KR convertible that was a running and driving car, it wasn’t a top priority.

What a way to end the trip on a high note! I thanked Lance Sr. and Lance Jr. for taking the time to show a friend and me around their incredible collection. They were happy to do it, they said, and we were welcome back anytime. I see the two Lances often at car shows in central Wisconsin, and they have actually been moving cars around and selling a few. The 1968 Shelby GT 500KR convertible project recently went to a new home. So you never know what can happen with these barn finds!

If you have any leads or know of anything cool sitting neglected, let me know! I don’t share locations or owners’ names. You can contact me through any of my social media links: Facebook page, TheAutoArchaeologist; Instagram, @theautoarchaeologist, and now on YouTube, @AutoArchaeology.

Walking through the big barn door, you are presented with a variety of cool cars, including this 1964 Impala convertible.

This 1962 Studebaker Lark convertible, which had been done up as an Indy 500 pace car tribute, was badly burned in a warehouse fire.

This was the best of the two 1966 Mercury Comet Cyclone GT Indy 500 pace car convertibles. It didn’t need much; it had just been sitting a very long time.

Can’t go wrong with a bright blue 1965 Ford Galaxie 500 convertible. This one was in really nice condition.

One of many midsize Fords in the collection, this Torino convertible was relegated to the side of the barn.

Stuck in the corner, this 1965 Ford Mustang convertible was in rough shape when put away.

Another Impala SS convertible with a 409 and a four-speed, this 1963 model was complete and in one piece, for the most part.

This is the Tarnutzers’ main project for the future, an original Cougar Eliminator with snow tires on the back!

One of my favorites was this blue 1971 Ford Torino GT convertible with a Shaker hood and laser stripe. It was pretty beat, but was restorable.

In the other storage building was the 1970 Plymouth Superbird that got deep fried in the fire. This old photo showed what its patriotic paint scheme looked like.

Buried in the family garage, this is an extremely rare 1968 Shelby GT 500KR convertible. When it was sold recently it was pulled out of long-term storage and saw daylight for the first time in years.

Tucked away in the back, a 1964 Pontiac Tempest convertible was someone’s hot rod at one point, as it still had Cragar S/S rims mounted on the back.

Something you don’t see very often is the 1963 Chrysler 300K convertible pace car edition. This was in excellent condition.

This 1966 Mercury Comet convertible is not one of the Indy pace car convertibles, but it is a rare S-code 390 car with a four-speed.

Sitting next to the Comet is another rare car, a 1960 Ford Sunliner. In all my travels I have only seen a handful.

This poor 1965 Ford Falcon Sprint convertible was left outside the chicken coop for many Wisconsin seasons

Another victim of the Wisconsin weather was this 1969 Plymouth Sport Fury convertible.

This 1969 Road Runner convertible belonged to a friend of the owner. It has rusted in half.

American Motors, where this Marlin was designed, was based just east of the barn.

The post Check Out This Old Chicken Coop Full of Rare Muscle Cars! appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

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jesusvasser · 7 years ago

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By Design: 2019 Mercedes-AMG GT 4-Door Coupe

When I taught at the Art Center College of Design (Switzerland) nearly 30 years ago, there were some intriguing international students with very strong ideas about what they intended to accomplish in car design. A Danish lad, Henrik Fisker, only wanted to design sports cars. Check. Switzerland native Stephane Schwarz had similar but less fervent ideas. His first job, at Pininfarina, was the Ethos roadster. Schwarz drifted into the big volume industry for a while, but today he’s chief designer at sports-oriented Carrozzeria Zagato. American Mike Fink had a single burning desire. He wanted to work at Mercedes-Benz for Bruno Sacco, the Stuttgart firm’s distinguished and much respected design leader. He did that for his first job. I’ve long since lost track of Fink, who moved on to Asian car makers, but he told me long ago that he’d accomplished two things close to his heart while at Mercedes: He had proposed the melted two-circle, one-glass-cover headlamp design used across multiple lines, and he got his notion of a “Jaguar fighter,” a slippery fastback four-door coupe, accepted.

A slight digression concerning that label. Many people can’t accept the term coupe for a car with four seats, let alone four doors. That’s because they don’t really know what it means, as they would were manufacturers to use the equally applicable and probably more appropriate American hot rod descriptor “chopped.” The elegant French word coupé—pronounced koo-pay—just means “cut” and for cars is actually pronounced in the French way in most countries, including England. I can remember as a kid thinking that Bill Mitchell was outrageously pretentious when he said “coupe” that way in the ’50s, but the gloriously vulgar then-No. 2 at GM styling was actually correct, and we others with our [chicken?] “coops” were—and still are—wrong.

From its introduction to the world at the New York auto show in 2004, Benz’s (and Mike Fink’s) slinky CLS has been an inspiration for many firms, very specifically Aston Martin and BMW but also for a wide range of less-than-premium manufacturers (Kia Stinger, anyone?). The idea is coming back full circle to Mercedes with the 2018 Geneva auto show introduction of two such models, the third-generation CLS and its performance-oriented spiritual twin, the AMG GT 4-Door. Normal Mercedes sedans are always a bit staid and respectable, ideal for stolid burghers, police, and taxi drivers. That some adventurous citizens would like the reliability, reputation, and value of a Mercedes in sleeker form is natural and admirable. That a small subset of that group would want something truly exceptional, a high-performing near-racer four-door, seems both normal and natural. Basing this car on the style of the 911-rivaling AMG GT two-seater is equally normal and natural. The 4-Door has true presence. Its purpose and mission are absolutely—and convincingly—clear. It has a precise role to play, and it’s perfectly equipped to do its designated job. Good design. And a good idea, Mike Fink.

1. The side glass profile is very long, in three panes, ending in this sharp point a bit above the beltline, suggesting speed.

2. This Panamericana grille, as it is called internally by Mercedes designers, recalls the amazing preproduction racing 300 SLs that won the two toughest races of 1952, Le Mans and the Carrera Panamericana in Mexico.

3. The double hood bumps are suggestive of the 1955 300 SL or of earlier British Schneider Trophy racing seaplanes, wherein they provided clearance for engine elements. Here they are purely evocative and nonfunctional.

4. The slim bright accent on the bottom front corners rises diagonally to frame the lower air intake …

5. … which is closed off with this horizontal bar, carrying the baseline accent across the entire front end.

6. The purpose of this slot between the body corner and the framing piece for the corner air intakes is not evident. It seems like extra complexity for no good reason.

7. The newest status signifier is color-coded brake calipers, bronze for the fanciest and most powerful models.

8. Like the frontal trim, the brightwork does not quite reach the wheel openings, but the effect is to establish a bright baseline for the front and sides of the body.

9. This hard line has no link to anything else on the body surface, but it does draw the eye upward toward the rear as the roofline profile draws it downward, making the car slimmer and faster looking.

1. It feels all right, but the multiple straight sections of the rim are a little jarring to the eye.

2. Lots of controls on the wheel spokes, convenient perhaps but seriously unattractive.

3. It��s amusing that electronic images of nonexistent mechanical round dials are still the preferred way to present data. It would be good if someone would seriously study how to present vital information … and no more than that.

4. Graphics in the center are good, but they’re not really self-explanatory.

5. This curved line across the entire panel, sweeping into the door inner panels, is extremely graceful and agreeable to the eye and to the touch.

6. The flow of wood grain across the panel is interesting and speaks highly of the way in which the interiors are executed. Every example we’ve seen, in reality or in photos, is quite beautiful and quite individual.

7. The central console is very wide, nicely padded, and fairly boring visually, neither elegant, technical, nor in any way inspiring.

8. The soft-finished metal panel on the controls section of the console looks too much like an economy car component. Disappointing.

9. The extended-length lozenges eliminate the Chairman Mao’s Jacket feel of Bentleys but are not what one would hope for in a car like this. I get no sense of superior capability, as I do in the far better exterior design. It’s OK but definitely notgreat. Too bad.

10. Typical German lighting control: too low, too hard to read. Best memorize the functions, owner’s manualin hand.

1. One has the impression of corner knots in this view, but in fact the cut line between lamp cover and wheel opening is quite fluid.

2. Apparently the 8-millimeter dip from cant rail down to roof surface is exactly—but exactly—what is needed to keep the side glasses clear in rain. An engineering requirement to which stylists must adhere. Who knew?

3. The bumps are subtle here. Their execution varies with each application at Mercedes, sometimes sharp or with a crease or soft like this.

4. The horizontal bars behind the main grille are replicated at the same pitch in the corner inlets. They are unobtrusive here but a bit too present above in the real car.

1. The trunklid cut line links the inner points of the taillights and establishes a discouraging liftover height for luggage. The price of raciness, finally.

2. The simple backlight is set into the overall form, as is the central part of the roof panel.

3. It’s not quite picket fences, but to allow rear windows to descend, there have to be demarcations between fixed rear quarter windows and fixed and movable door glasses.

4. The beltline has van extreme amount of crown, peaking in the rear door itself.

5. There’s no particular need for a trim piece here, but it’s currently de rigueur on almost everything, so why not here?

6. The front end falls away sharply and is chamfered in plan view, but you do get a glimpse of the headlamp lens from behind for safety.

7. This rear corner outlet is apparently a style mark for all AMG cars, sometimes fake, sometimes functional. On this GT 63 S there’s a black grille inside.

8. The rear body is quite thick. To disguise this, much of the bottom is blacked out.

9. Very big exhaust outlets bespeak very big power. Brightwork is nice, but it might have been more convincing if everything had been black. They seem to hang well below the painted body section.

10. There’s a lot going on in the diffuser section of the tail, but it’s difficult to discern, even up close on the show stand.

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jonathanbelloblog · 7 years ago