#Ben doesn't think he's worthy of love :(

[writing-till-i-am-dead]

Bengan oneshot - Confession

Ask and you shall receive! <3

Logan likes stars. Ben knows this. Ben likes music. Logan knows this.

They liked to go out stargazing together, listening to songs like Stardust by Nat King Cole, Fade Into You by Mazzy Star, Strange Time by Matt Maltese, and whatever else Ben felt like putting in the queue. Logan wasn't too picky about what kind of music they listened to. And besides, Ben had good music taste.

"Play that song we were listening to last night! Um, what was it..?" Logan tapped his fingers on the telescope, thinking. "♪And then I go and spoil it all by saying something-♪"

Ben cut him off by tapping on his shoulder and signed "Something Stupid?"

Logan nodded. "Ya! That one!"

Ben nodded and pulled out his phone. In all honesty, he didn't want Logan to sing along to it. Just imagining him saying the words 'I love you', even if not directed at him, was too much for his heart.

Ben liked Logan a lot. But he was bad at expressing this. He's been trying to make it a bit obvious. Lately he's been playing more romantic songs like Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley, Heart to Heart by Mac DeMarco, and Love Like You from Steven Universe. But Logan didn't seem to be picking up on the hints, which makes everything so much more difficult. Though, he was also kind of grateful. Logan actually knowing Ben liked him scared Ben a lot. Like... a lot, a lot.

Ben got the song playing and Logan looked through his telescope, humming along, murmuring, "♪...I know that there's a chance you won't be leaving with me...♪"

He watched Logan hum and murmur the lyrics, but before the words "I love you" could be said, he tapped on Logan's shoulder.

"Hm? What's up?"

Ben hesitated. What now? He just wanted to stop Logan before he could even mutter out those 3 lyrics. Those 3 words that would buzz through his head and have him repeat multiple fake scenarios that would never happen because how could they ever happen? How could Logan ever say "I love you" to him? Stupid, stupid brain.

Ben though before he signed, "What constellations are out?"

Logan smiled a little disappointedly. "Sadly, I can't tell. It's pretty cloudy tonight. But I can see a planet! Come check it out!"

Ben peaked through and saw a very bright object in the sky. Before he would've assumed it was just a really bright star. But due to spending so much time with Logan, he's gotten better at telling the differences apart.

"Which planet is that?"

"That's Venus! The most toxic of the planets. Which is ironic because it's named after the Roman goddess, Venus, who was pretty shallow, especially as her Greek counterpart!"

Ben thought about the name. He was really no good at Greek nor Roman mythology. He was more of a Norse mythology enjoyer.

Logan could tell by his face he was struggling to remember which goddess Venus was.

"She was the goddess of love!" Logan told him, causing Ben's shoulders to jump.

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love....

What kind of weird sign was this? What, are the literal planets now calling him out for his crush!? That's not fair! And it kind of pissed him off a little, but he knew, deep down, that it would be stupid to get aggressive over a planet. Seriously, what kind of person would be like that. If he showed Logan he had anger issues that bad, he'd scare him off for sure. Like, ya, Logan already knows about the anger issues, but he doesn't know their full extent.

Logan nudged Ben a little, smiling at him. "The stars get red and oh, the night's so blue.."

Ben takes a moment to process what's happening, but before he knew it, Logan said the words.

"And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you..."

Ben stands there for a moment, processing this. Logan definitely hadn't directed that at him... No way.

Ya.. Logan looking at him expectantly, eyes big, blushing was all just Ben's imagination... definitely...

Logan clenches his fists and awkwardly turns away and Ben jumps, waving his arms to get his attention again before signing, "Frank Sinatra is pretty great, right?"

Logan gives him this weird look before sighing. "Ya. He is.."

They both look at the sky and Ben hesitates. He's doing something wrong. He did something wrong. He could tell by Logan's face. And Ben had a feeling what it was. But he had trouble being able to say it. How could he? Could he really be deserving to try and confess to anyone without actually saying it? Would that even count as a real confession?

He thinks for a moment before deciding "screw it" and grabbing his phone and frantically typing into Spotify the song he wants.

The song Yesterday by The Beatles began to play. Logan glanced curiously at Ben and Ben looked at him before sitting down on the grass. He gestured for Logan to join him, which he did.

Ben stared at him for a moment before finally getting the courage to do it.

He began to sign the lyrics for the song, frantically, scared to make any eye contact with Logan.

"Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play. Now I need a place to hide away.."

He hesitates on some of the lyrics, but he feels he got the message across... hopefully.

Once the song comes to a slow end, Ben tightly closes his eyes, waiting for Logan to say something. But he didn't. So Ben looked up, greeted to the site of Logan tearing up.

"What are you trying to tell me with this...?"

Ben hesitates, wanting to reach over, to wipe away his tears and tell him he doesn't need to cry.

"I'm in love with you, Logan," he signs. "But I don't feel I could be worthy. You don't know me how I used to be. I was so much more worthy of love back then. Now I'm not."

"You stupid-!" Logan exclaimed. "I don't care who you used to be! What, you got more aggressive? You can't talk? Who cares!? I don't! But don't push me away!"

Ben sits there, stunned, and Logan realizes what he said and shyly hunches his shoulders, blushing from embarrassment. "Sorry for yelling... But you get what I'm trying to say, right..?"

Ben hesitates, fidgeting nervously before slowly nodding.

Logan sighs. "'Yesterday' you may have been someone different.. but that doesn't matter because you are who you are now. I've changed too."

Ben looks down. Logan has changed. He's more confident, he's stronger, too.

"But you changed for the better."

"It's all a matter of perspective. I know a couple of guys who think I've changed for the worse because now they can't pick on me. And I may not have known who you used to be, but... you were bound to grow into who you are now because of it."

Before Ben could sign back a response, Logan took his hand into his.

"You grew into someone I love..."

Ben freezes. His heart freezes. His brain freezes. Time itself freezes.

Logan likes Ben. Ben never knew this.

Ben likes Logan. Logan always knew this.

Divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[dotthings]

The metaphysical aspect to Dean and Cas's love doesn't preclude the humanistic romantic layer, given how human Cas became, how he learned to process emotions from humans. But the cosmic scale of the love is also a real part of the story, Cas's confession is romantic, the cosmic and ineffable nature of angelic love is also in the mix, they don't cancel each other out. Cas is a hybrid of both worlds. But on top of the humanistic romantic love of an angel with human-y feelings falling in love with his best friend who is human, there is that other aspect Ben talked about and Jensen talked about. (When Jensen said it, people were so insulted, but Jensen was saying effectively the same thing as Ben said).

This idea that because Cas is an angel, a being made of light, who is millennia old, who experiences time differently than humans, his love for Dean is on a scale that it would be hard for humans to grasp. And that doesn't make it not love. But Jensen never played Dean knowing Cas was in love with him (his words. Which had nothing to do with what Dean feels about Cas, but Dean didn't know how much Cas loved him) And even as Cas is confessing, Dean is having trouble accepting he's worthy of that love, he is stunned emotionally by the confession, he had no idea how much Cas loved him, and on top of that, Dean is always contending with that dual nature of Cas. He looks at Cas he sees his geeky handsome weird friend that he loves, he also sees a freakin' angel, he's witnessed Cas's powers, he knows Cas is in human, Cas is Cas, Cas is also something so cosmic and vast Dean can't comprehend it. He is certainly going to have trouble processing the idea that an angel is in love with him.

I am actually feeling so feral about this, I've always enjoyed that aspect of Destiel, human/angel love story is such a powerful idea, interspecies romances are also popular in genre. I'm sorry the antis are so mean and twist that into something where they're trying to slam and lock the door against Destiel being possible whatsoever.

But to me, that layer just makes it even more Destiel. And Ben has talked about it and Jensen has talked about it and it's treated like an invalidation and a shutdown. Maybe people are getting their wires crossed and equating that to the intent of antis when they go "Cas isn't human so he can't be gay and in love with Dean" and it's not the same thing.

I just really want to air this. Appreciating the metaphysical aspects of Destiel, which are inescapable and part of the canon story, is not a shutdown or an invalidation. If people regard it as a dodge. Do they think the Destiel shippers right in their midst are trying to dodge? Do they think we're trying to shutdown? I just hope people will think about the implications of their pushbacks.

And mentally shut out the antis and hear what it is that various parties are really telling you.

(And please I beg of you remember that there is nothing "canon enough" that will ever shut up antis or stop their denialism, we have seen this happen with other shows, it is eternal, it will not stop no matter what Dean and Cas do next in canon).

[mazeinthemiroh]

the worthy type.

yunho x best friend! reader

genre: fluff, hurt / comfort, romance, best friends to lovers

word count: 1.7k

warnings: cursing, reader has insecurities

synopsis: best friends didn't look at each other the way yunho looked at you. but you found it hard to believe that he could ever be interest in you. but oh how wrong you are...

author's notes: so i know it's been a hot minute since i've posted, well, anything. but hopefully this fic will redeem that fact? let me know your thoughts and ummmmmmm yeah! enjoy my sweetums <3333

There's a lot to be said about the way Yunho looked at you.

It was always with interest. With intent. There was some sort of motive behind his gaze and, when you looked back, you would try and figure out what his thoughts were. But, you were only faced with the tingling feeling in your cheeks as they heated up at the sight of his adoring grin.

You both had been friends for a while. More than friends, really. Close friends. Closer than most, and people found that odd. Lots assumed you were dating, and you would be lying if you said you never thought: "Yeah, why the fuck are we not dating?"

But alas, you continued in your closeness with him, grinning at each other from across the room, whispering jokes in inappropriate circumstances, cackling at each other's witty remarks so that strangers who passed by would mutter 'They're so damn loud.' Stuff like that, and you felt yourself falling.

But there was something holding you back.

"Want some ice cream?" San held out a delicious tub of Ben and Jerry's that he was more than ready to dig into.

"Nah, I'm good thanks," you turned it down, staring at your phone in a bit of a daze.

It wasn't unusual for you to hang around the dorms of the Ateez members. You were all friends there, and they liked to spend time with you when they got the chance.

"So," San scooped a bit of ice cream up into his spoon, elegantly swirling it around as if it were art, "you and Yunho..."

You felt yourself roll your eyes.

"'Me and Yunho' what?"

San shrugged, a smirk pulling at the edge of his lips.

"I don't know... when are you gonna get with him?"

You blinked at him and sighed loudly, "I don't know what you're on about."

San didn't look amused, now digging into more of the ice cream. He remained silent, which unnerved you.

"Don't you think that if," you hesitated, before continuing, "if something was going on between me and him, something would've happened by now? Like... we would be together already? That's how I see it."

"That's not how I see it," San replied, not bothering to look up from the ice cream tub this time.

"The way I see it," he started, "is that you both have been friends for a long time and neither of you want to cross that boundary of 'something more.'"

There was a dull feeling of insecurity that slowly bubbled up inside of you. You tried to gulp that feeling down with water, but it remained there.

"He doesn't find me attractive, San," you said plainly. "That's it. I'm not his type, and that's that."

You shrugged, but ended up turning your head away to avoid San's gaze, in case he saw any tears that started forming in your eyes.

"You shitting me right now, Y/N?" San stabbed his spoon in his ice cream, and made his way over to you, plopping himself down next to you on the sofa so he could look at you better.

You looked down, suddenly filled with self-loathing. You were never made to feel special. Never made to feel worthy of attention or love. People have told you all your life you didn't look good enough, and at a certain point, that type of thing starts to play with your mind.

"There's no way in hell I'm his type, San."

"Listen-"

"No, you listen to me! Look at the people you work with, San. The people in the industry, the idols who look so perfect. They have the perfect, ideal bodies, faces, skin, proportions. Everything." You sounded exasperated; emotionally exhausted. It sounded like you wanted to get all this off your chest. San listened to every word, of course.

"So why, out of all these perfect people, would he choose me?"

San frowned, his eyes narrowing and his head shaking. He listened to you vent, but he wasn't happy. His tone remained soft but firm:

"Ask him."

You licked your lips. "What? No way."

"Ask him what his type is, Y/N. Ask him."

You remained silent as he made his way off the sofa, stretching slightly as he did so.

"You think you know what he likes? You think he's not attracted to you? Ask him."

And with those words, he was gone, leaving you to dwell over the whole conversation, arms crossing over your chest.

Your lunch breaks consisted of travelling all across tone just to meet up with Yunho. It was once every week, to be fair. But it was a commitment you were willing to stick to, despite the slight inconvenience in travel. It wasn't inconvenient if it meant you got to spend time with him.

You scolded yourself for thinking in such a hopelessly romantic way, but it was true. Romance or not, he made your week. One hour of coffee or walking around the river or random street food lunches to share with each other. Whatever happened, it was always fun and memorable, because it was with him.

You both sat on a bench overlooking the river. It was a chilly autumnal day, and your fingerless-gloved hands grasped the warm cup of coffee tightly. Yunho's legs were outstretched and folded; this way, you could admire their impressive length of them without seeming like a complete weirdo.

"It was funny," you racked your brain trying to search for ways to sneak the ultimate question casually into a conversation with your best friend, "me and San were talking about what kind of people we like. I mean... everyone has a type, right? It was funny hearing what San was saying about that..."

He kept quiet, a small smile on his lips as he listened to you, gazing down at his coffee.

"But umm... well, what would you say your type is?"

Yunho half snorted, half chuckled at your question, clearly amused at your curiosity about such a thing.

"Why would you wanna know?" He teased, nudging you playfully as you laughed your nerves away.

Once he stopped laughing, he hummed thoughtfully, looking up across the river as if pondering a very serious matter.

And, after long last, his answer was made clear:

"I don't have a type"

You wanted to punch him. "God, after all that?"

Yunho exhaled another laugh, but this time looked more serious.

"Well, having a 'type' sounds so limiting. Because it's usually about external factors, and, well, external factors change, right?" Yunho turns to you, and you nod your head slowly, trying to understand where he is coming from.

"For example, if someone's 'type' is someone with brown hair or long nails, those things change! They could dye their hair and cut their nails." Yunho took a sip from his coffee, "so all of that is silly. No one will ever be satisfied if they think in such a limited way."

He leaned back and yawned slightly, before peering over at your thoughtful face.

"Did I satisfy you with my answer?" Yunho smiled and shrugged.

"I guess I wasn't expecting that to be honest," you confessed.

Then silence took over, and while your eyes were fixated on the cup in your hands, his eyes were solely on you. And his smile never once wavered.

After a long time to think, he sat up a bit more, fixing his posture and turning more to look at you.

"You know what" his voice sounded softly next to you, "I was lying."

That piqued your interest, and you found yourself turning around to face him, an enquiring expression written on your features.

"I do have a type," Yunho nodded, his eyes twinkling slightly as if he had made some sort of revelation.

"What, then?" You half whispered. He liked to leave you dangling by a thread.

"My type is you," he poked your nose, shuffling closer and stretching his arm to wrap around your shoulder. You laughed in protest but you could see in his eyes that he was serious.

"If that is the case," you asked slowly, "why couldn't you have told me this in the first place?"

"Now that wouldn't be any fun would it?" Yunho chimed, and you almost pushed him off the bench, but luckily he's strong enough to defend himself!

"It's hard confessing something like that to someone you care about the most, you know?" He muttered, and you realised that he had been rather vulnerable with you, more so than you've seen before.

"Well it's a good thing I'm dangerously in love with you then," you murmured back, causing you both to look at each other and, before you knew it, Yunho leaned in to press his lips into yours. It was a sweet kiss, one that felt as though it should've happened a long time ago. One full of gentle longing, and a shy eagerness for more kisses to come.

You both pulled away and breathed out a laugh together. Yunho's cheeks were particularly rosy by this point, and he felt he couldn't stop smiling even if he tried.

"What about all the perfect people you work with?" You pressed on further, "The gorgeous idols who are everything everyone wants to be."

"If everyone looked and behaved the same, it would be boring" Yunho shrugged, "and you know how much I hate things that a boring."

And he leaned in to give you a peck on the nose.

"Besides," Yunho held you closer, "I know you better than anyone. I wouldn't trade our connection with anything or anyone, because it's real and it's ours."

Tears pricked at your eyes as you looked at him, the wind moving around both of your bodies as a force, nature's way of pressing you together, closer still.

Your lips found each other's again, this time more desperate, full of passion, full of a wanting to last forever. Your hands found his as you laced your fingers in between his long ones.

Your connection had never made you more secure in yourself. You could really get used to the feeling of Yunho by your side, like this, in a way that made you realise that you are enough.

You are worthy. And you've found your special person.

ateez taglist: @a-wandering-stay, @xlovehwa, @yeosangsbiceps, @anyamaris, @acciocriativity, @hawaiian-angel, @toolovelyforyou (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[starguardianniom]

Billy and Lighter

I love their dynamic so much.

Freaking Lighter of all people sees Billy as his worthy rival.

Ngl but I legit think it's because Billy is the only one he can fight without being afraid of passing out.

Given Lighter faints at the sight of blood and that Billy is an android, if Billy gets hurt he will probably leak oil, but no blood, which is perfect for Lighter.

I honestly, half-seriously thinks that's the sole reason Lighter considers Billy is rival, because he won't risk embarassing himself if he manages to hurt Billy while fighting as Billy has no blood for him to faint to.

But he also does respect him given he thinks highly of him and actually likes him like a brother too.

They playfully tease one another but you can also clearly see that Lighter has a high opinion of Billy and is also happy for him to have found happiness somewhere else too, and that's so wholesome, my heart.

I was pratically screaming of joy in my head the entire time yesterday when I speedrun the chapter (I had the day off lucky me so I used it to clear out chapter 4 entirely yeah!).

I took so many pictures, will upload them this weekend, now I need to go do that certification exam to get my people to level 50, given I need to level up pretty much everyone I have right now (Billy, Anby, Nicole, Corin, Soukaku, Ben, Anton, Seth, Jane and Lucy are the characters I currently have the game refuses me Piper and just sended me a lil army of Corins, Anby and Soukaku, now I have Anby and Soukaku to M4 and Corin to M3, though it gave me Billy M2 and Seth M2 thank god) I'll be at it for a while.

But honestly I expected Lighter to be a bit more mean toward Billy and feeling superior to him but it seems like I was worried for nothing, Lighter loves Billy and Billy loves him back, though I'm pretty sure Billy also thinks that he wasn't able to escape Lighter entirely given he now has Anby around. XD Lighter keeps forgetting things and Anby keeps forgetting the line between fiction and reality, I imagine Billy must be used to Anby because he had to spend half his time reminding Lighter of stuff all the time. XD

I swear Billy had it better than Lighter back then, given he was the Champion that means he was the strongest of the Sons of Calydon, which means he's stronger than Big Daddy, and Big Daddy is most likely the one who raised and taught Caesar how to fight, so if she didn't get the title of Champion back then, then Billy was most likely strong enough to beat her too and Big Daddy. But then he left. But he also got to meet Lighter before that, but Lighter is weaker than Caesar but still has the title for some reason, so it's a bit murky there as to why they needed 2 champions.

I think Billy wanted to leave or something happened that made him leave and then Big Daddy brought in Lighter to pick up his title but Billy sticked around long enough to make sure Lighter was up for the job given they have a good brotherly friendly rivalry relationship together so once Billy thought Lighter was ready he gave him his title and left. And then Caesar got to be the new boss of the Sons of Calydon when Big Daddy retired, and was strong enough that she was able to beat Lighter apparently.

But the title of Champion is basically being the number 2 of the gang, so if the leader isn't around it's most likely the champion calling the shots and making sure everything is alright and settling disputes and what nots, but since Lighter is pretty scatterbrained, most of the duties went to Lucy while Lighter is just now extra muscles, since Lucy is pretty much the one making sure everything is alright and being the brains of the Sons, but she clearly doesn't have the strenght to be the Champion because Lighter is the one with that title.

So I imagine Billy used to handle negotiations and relations and other stuff with Big Daddy before he left and probably used to be deadly efficient, in some parts of the story he is a lot more aware and shrewd than he presents himself most of the time, such as asking us about the H.D.D and asking why we'd bother to be proxies when we could have done so much more and get a much more lucrative job, or when he was ready to sell us out to PubSec to save the Cunning Hares and himself pointing out that the Cunning Hares could get their record cleaned if they reported a proxy, which was a very smart way of thinking given their situation back then. He is also knowledgeable about the Outer Ring, so he is way much smarter than he acts too.

I do feel like Billy is seen as a superior predecessor to Lighter and while Lighter doesn't resent Billy at all for it he also feels the need to prove himself to him in some way to live up to his "brother's" legacy.

Lucy probably didn't have much to do until Billy left and Big Daddy retired. Then she basically became the second half of the Champion title in the Sons of Calydon, being the brain to Lighter's brawn, but Billy before them had the title on his own to the point that he is still feared today by other people in the Outer Ring.

It does beg the question of what was Billy like back then, probably less happy and more brutal and having the mindset of a weapon maybe, but he was still cared for a lot.

I also like to think that Big Daddy called him Billy Kid because he honestly saw Billy as "his" kid when he bought him from a group of drifters, now I really want the whole story, if they release Big Daddy and Lighter, give them more content with Billy, I need more, Hoyo!

[chonkymoth]

I need y'all to understand just how much the "I wish I had two lives" scene has ruined me.

david loves kristen. when ben finally says it outloud for him, he recognizes it for what we've all seen & suspected/known for years. he doesn't even try to deny it. he loves & needs (his words!!!) kristen and wants a live with her so badly. but he simultaneously wants to reform his life & fight evil & commit to something he views as worthy & morally good. & w the life he has he's chosen the latter route. he's already committed to it by the time kristen enters his life. & now? kristen is equivalent to god to him. he wishes he had a whole other life that he could devote to kristen like he's devoted his current one to god.

& kristen loves david. ellie/laura/??? says it outloud for kristen & while she looks like she wants to argue it, she doesn't. she loves david. she wishes she had two lives, both of them for him. bc no matter if it's this life she has now or another, she can't imagine a life without him. she wants him in every life she has. & yet, she's scared of breeching being just friends. she's the one to leave after the kiss. she's the one to tell him to go when they hug in the shed. she's almost always the one to break the charged moments between them. she's married, sure, but that's not exactly stopped her before. it's the push & pull in the way the moon & ocean love one another. it's the knowing that david's chosen the church in this life. & even still, she still wants him close even if it can't be romantically.

& ben cares for them both. he's continually painted as the third wheel, but he's an integral spoke in the dynamic they all share. i think ben's "what about me?" is mainly asked to break the tension w comedy, sure, but some part genuine curiosity as well. & kristen assures him that he gets a life too—this life, the one they already all share together. he knows how david & kristen feel about each other, & i think whatever feelings he has or might have towards them get put on the back burner as a result. but he's with them till the end. he comforts kristen through various situations & is a confidant for david even though their thoughts on spirituality & religion are complete opposites. the dynamic just isn't complete without him. & so he gets a life as well, of course, even if he holds them both at an arm's distance for his own heart's sake.

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

I would love a first date with Johnny storm, maybe after he gets his powers and we know he is kinda a playboy but I feel like after his powers he would want to find someone who wants him for him, and I was thinking that fem reader would be Reid's or Ben's shy sister, who likes Johnny but doesn't think he would go for her cause he's dated models and she's scared that he would be using her cause of him being a past playboy. Maybe some soft smut at the end, him showering her in affection and love, and I would love to see how everyone on the team would react to Johnny actually settling down

.⋆｡Just Perfect｡⋆.

Johnny Storm x plus size reader

First dates are never perfect but maybe this one could be

Warnings: reader is Ben’s sister, fluff, insecurity, mention of Johnny’s past, use of the word whore (Johnny was one it’s ok), swearing, implied smut WC: 1.1k

6k Follower Bingo Celebration

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

6:53 pm and you were rethinking your whole outfit. The dress was the wrong colour, it hugged you in weird places. The heels didn’t quite match the material and your makeup was subpar at best. You cringed as you looked at yourself in the mirror. “Fuck I can’t do it.” You turned to search for your phone but suddenly, the front door buzzer went off.

“No no no no. Why is he early?” You tripped over a rogue shirt, catching yourself on the bedroom door frame as the intercom crackled to life.

“Hey Baby Benny, you gonna let me in?” Your heart lurched at the sound of his croon, it was somehow still perfect even through the shitty speaker by your front door. “Oh wait, I know another way in. See you in a sec.” 

You darted for your purse, the one that definitely was not date worthy but it was the only one you had. You snagged the small brass handle that connected the strap to the purse, only noticing too late that a screw dropped from where it should have been and onto the floor. And just as the (locked) door to your balcony swung open to reveal a still smouldering Johnny Storm, the bar holding the d-ring together fell apart and your purse and everything inside it tumbled over the side of the hall table, slamming to the floor with the sickening sound of glass shattering.

“And that would be my compact.” Unable to fight it anymore, your shoulders dropped as the tears began to well up. “I’m so stupid.”

“Hey, hey baby.” Johnny’s warm hands curled around your elbows in a gesture you knew was supposed to be comforting but instead, it made you flinch away from him. This whole thing was too good to be true and you were a fool to think otherwise.

Your eyes squeezed shut as you tried to pull out of his arms but Johnny didn’t relent. “You are definitely not stupid. Your brother? Oh yeah he’s the dumbest rock I’ve ever met. But you are a beautiful genius.” 

“No.” You whimpered though you stopped struggling against his embrace. 

The charming smile he was known the world over for faded as his blue eyes grew darker. This was not the Johnny who had so playfully asked you on a date only a few days ago, this was something a lot more dangerous. Though his grip did not tighten, you dared not to move away. 

“Johnny-“ 

“Baby.” He responded firmly. “Y/N. What’s going on? Do you not want to go on a date with me that badly?” Your heart dropped to your feet, never had you seen him so utterly distraught, so insecure. Johnny was confident, smooth- a playboy in the truest sense but now, he looked so small.

You had thought it was a joke at first, the way he slid up to you as you fiddled around with some of your brother’s tools with a sly smirk on his face. He got close, the heat of his body setting your own alight as he caged you against the kitchen table. “So whaddya say, go out with me?” There had been dozens of reasons to say no but in that moment, all you could do was say yes because this was the man who had stupidly captured your heart so long ago and you were powerless to say no.

Trembling hands pressed against his chest, not quite enough to force space between you but to feel the erratic beating of his heart beneath the thin (fire resistant) button up he wore. “You don’t know how much I wanted this. But everything is all wrong and I think it means that maybe this wasn’t a good idea. I’m not supposed to get you. I’m not-“

“Not what?” His hands fell to your hips and you almost caved.

“I know what I look like, I know who I am. I can’t compete with the supermodels and movie stars. I’m not the girl that gets the super hot superhero, that’s not how it works.”

“That’s a lot of supers.” He gently pulled you closer, your stomachs now pressed together and for a second, you swore you felt something hard against you but then Johnny continued. “You’re right,” you bit down on your lip as your eyes burned with tears once more, but he didn’t flinch,  “because you are something better. Fuck baby, you are so outta my league.” 

“No I’m not.” You tried to protest but you were quickly silenced by a gentle squeeze to your hips. 

His lips curled into a smile you had never seen before, gentle and yet somehow still demanding. He was almost glowing under your undivided attention. “Yeah you are and everyone knows it. You should’ve seen my sister when I asked her where I should take you for our first date. She told me that I should be maxing out a credit card to spoil you rotten to make up for my and I quote ‘Johnny-ness’.” 

Your fight began to wither away and the way he smiled at you made it very clear that he knew he was winning. “You are the most gorgeous, kind, incredible, sexy woman I’ve ever met and I know I’ve been a bit of a, how do I say this delicately?”

“Whore.” You finished for him.

“Yes, that. Thank you,” he scoffed, “but you make me want something so much more than just sex. I want you. I want the peaceful mornings where you make coffee while I cook breakfast. The nights in, just being around you, listening to your voice, holding you the way I’ve wanted to since the moment you showed up in that stupid hospital after the accident. And you may think that things have gone so wrong today but I got to see you and that makes this date just perfect.”

“You make everything perfect.” He concluded as he cupped your cheek, keeping your gaze firmly fixed on him.

“You’re sure?” Your voice wobbled. 

“Never more sure of anything in my life.” The last word had barely left his mouth before you surged forwards and smashed your lips against his. His blue eyes widened and then he melted into the kiss matching your ferocity. You moaned as he tilted your head, encouraging you to part your lips.

“Fuck baby.” Your nails dug into his sides, desperately trying to both fill your lungs and keep kissing him, which Johnny was happy to oblige. “I wanted to treat you right, dinner and then maybe a kiss on the cheek but you’re making it fucking hard to keep my word.”

“Don’t care.” You muttered between pecks. “Wanna see why all those girls kept crawling back for more.” His hips rolled into you, letting you feel just how badly he wanted to show you.

“Whatever you want, baby. I wanna make this perfect for you.” 

“You already have.” You said as you pulled him into your bedroom.

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[badsweetangel]

im relatively new to your page (i love it btw!!) so im not sure if you've already answered a question like this, but im shooting it anyway

what do you think it would realistically take for someone to get close to henry bowers? in a hypothetical where pennywise and the general plot points around the IT don't exist, or even if they do. i haven't been able to answer this question myself without my own headcannons/biases coming into play, so i'd love to hear what you have to say, you always have a lot of interesting analyses that i love to read :3

What a good question!

First, I think it has to be someone who is problematic or at least doesn't show signs that she is visibly uncomfortable with the boys' attitude. I think this because both in the book and in the movie, it is shown that even though there are members with moral contradictions (in the book it is Victor and in the movie it is Belch), they still do what Henry tells them.

I think this point is crucial because Henry will not tolerate someone telling him that he is doing things wrong. The best proof of this (in the movie) is when we saw in IT Chapter 1 that Henry cuts Ben's stomach and Belch shows a sign that what they are doing is not right and Henry shuts him up. While I know this is after Pennywise took control of him, I think that Henry would not like in general someone telling him what to do.

So, thinking about it, I think that a "good girl" or "good boy" will never approach someone like him. Even if that person did it and it worked, that person wouldn't be a good guy/girl anymore, because they'd have to visibly agree with all of his/her shit.

So, if you're a troublemaker, chances are good that you won't get bullied. Nobody wants to mess with someone like that. That's a plus. However, if you're not a troublemaker, but just a person with questionable morals, you need to find a way to not get bullied. If other kids find you a perfect target for bullying, you're screwed. Henry will think so too. He'll approach you to bully you, and that's not what we want.

At this point, that's the basics of getting close to Henry (whether it's for a romantic relationship or being a friend).

Next, I think, would be getting into the gang. Being a troublemaker is a direct pass to the gang; so, if you're not, the quickest way I can think of is if there's someone running from Bowers' gang and you stop the guy so Henry can catch him. When you do this, Henry will be confused, he doesn't understand why you would do something like that. If you tell him that you had a problem with the boy too, he will understand. From there it's just a matter of time.

Regardless of whether you are a boy or a girl, they will treat you the way they treat each other. So, if that is something that bothers you, you should just accept it.

Now, up to this point you are already their friend.

The next thing is if you want to get closer to Henry, much more than the other members of the gang, it is through small subtle compliments. This doesn't have to be extremely obvious. Just say things to him at the right time. Henry is constantly being looked down upon by his father, he needs to feel power, he needs to feel that he is worthy. This will work if you are a girl. But you have to be careful that the other members don't make your compliments seem self-serving. So they should be directed only at Henry and at just the right time. If not, he won't like it either. If you do it right, he will start looking for you to flatter him.

If you're a boy, it would work to be an extremely loyal member of the gang. He'll ask you for help with things around his house and everything in general. He'll obviously be using you, but you'd be spending more time with him and that would make you closer.

We know that if Pennywise is there, the end will be lethal for everyone. However, if he's not there, I can see the Bowers gang drifting apart as the years go by, as it always happens with friends made at that age. But I do believe that this friend who became close would be with him (if he doesn't move to another city). I can see Henry falling into madness anyway, because of his father. We know that the Pennywise thing was just a trigger. However, I think that maybe he'd just be one more broken adult with rage inside him and his life, with violent tendencies and toxic relationships. You'd be there with him. Both with ruined reputations and uncertain futures. A little distressing, I know. But Bowers' life wouldn't be easy with or without Pennywise.

These are my thoughts for now, I hope I answered your question! As always, this is just my analysis!

[periprose]

Hello dear! My request for you is: TASM Peter Parker + IDFC by Blackbear. I think the music fits perfectly in the dilemmas of Peter and fem!reader. What do you think? Thanks ;)

ahhh this is the best idea ever!! I love this song lol thank you for requesting it!

note: I'm writing Peter as the person feeling the emotions of the song

/

Peter watches as you get more inebriated. God, how many drinks could you throw back, the burning amber liquid seeming to have no effect on your throat?

His jaw clenches as he watches you giggle, snort, stumble over your words towards Flash. Flash Thompson, big blonde jock, not worthy of your attention, not like this. Flash would never know how much pining and groveling Peter had done just to get you to look at him the same way.

And last week? You did. You smiled at him, as if he was the only person in the world, the only guy worthy of your attention. You smiled and Peter's stomach exploded with butterflies and nausea and all those typical feelings that Uncle Ben had always told him would happen.

You certainly don't remember any of that right now. You're drunkenly giggling- your face reaches closer to Flash's own at the dinner table, and Peter cringes as he tries to look away, heart shattering as Flash combs back a piece of your hair. He knows- he knows- you might as well have been another pretty girl at Flash's disposal, and that he would never treasure you as you should be.

Flash licks his lips, and Peter feels himself give in. To the anger that he swore he'd never feel- the agony he feels because he's always thought you liked him. That one day, you would put a resolution to this dynamic you had with him- he just never thought it would be like this.

Peter gets going. He takes his bag, his camera, everything he brought for your stupid party, and heads out the front door, slamming it a little too hard.

Flash moves, perturbed. "Looks like that psycho is getting into one of his moods again."

"Oh, no..." You don't know why Peter's run out the door like that, but you let go of Flash, who to his credit, doesn't really mind.

"Peter, Peter!" You call after him, wrapping your arms around yourself. It's cold outside and your drunken stupor does not help.

He stops in the middle of the sidewalk. The street light illuminates him, and you don't notice how Peter's hand is balled into a fist.

"Hey. Why are you leaving, what happened?" You look up at him in confusion.

Peter can tell you're still too drunk to really talk things out with him. The fact that you're even pretending to care with him right now hurts. But despite that... he still wants you to lie to him. To be compassionate- even if Peter knows it's fake, he feels like it's better than nothing.

Unfortunately, you're still rather drunk, and Peter has to steady you with the most chaste of touches. He watches as you stumble over your words, not once, not twice, but three times of trying to work up something to say. And he just... he doesn't want your half-assed, drunken pity.

He knows for a fact you don't love him. That it was a fake dynamic concocted by his own idiocy.

"P-Peter?" You mumble up at him. "I don't want you to be unhappy with me. What's wrong?"

Peter shuts his eyes, feeling embarrassed to have to comfort you, but he doesn't know what else to do.

"Nothing's wrong. I didn't have anything to do at the party, so I thought I'd go back home." Peter shrugs as if it was completely nonchalant on his part. "No offense, but I was bored out of my mind. And I don't fucking care enough to exchange niceties and make other people feel comfortable."

You flinch, and Peter feels bad for just a moment. Just a second. Becuase you're not sober, so you're not in the best state of mind.

But he's been playing the fool this entire time, and he thinks it would be nice if you felt the same for a bit. Just for a day or two. He really doesn't care to see what you get up to at your fun, cool party, with fun, cool drinks and slutty, slutty hook ups.

"I... I'm sorry. If I knew that..." You swallow, looking down at the sidewalk, feeling humiliated by Peter's comments. You've always tried to be a good friend for him- you've always wanted to do right by him.

But something about the coldness in his tone right now tells you to back off. And you do so, with a lump in your throat.

"I would tell you to stay, but, um..." You shake your head. "Have a safe walk home."

Peter nods tightly and moves quickly, telling himself that he doesn't care. He didn't see the tears hanging from your eyelashes. He does not care especially because you're willing to tamper with his feelings so much.

He thinks that you'll be fine. You'll have Flash whispering sweet nothings into your ear, pressing kisses on your cheek and neck, and you won't ever pay him mind ever again. He represses the urge to go and make things right- go and fix things so you won't end up with a douche like Flash.

Peter knows no one has ever cared about him. He knows he's a bit of a nerd, an anti-social weirdo, and even if you made the effort to bridge the gap... he feels it's better this way. Why change?

He works on not giving a fuck. He pretends to not care when Aunt May asks how the party was. He does not lie awake thinking about you in the throes of passion, mouth open, chest flushed and red as Flash begins his disgustingly inelegant thrusts. Especially because it should've been him doing that, him and you together, and since it isn't- he doesn't fucking care.

/

Peter is surprised to see you sitting at his dinner table the next morning.

He's half asleep, but entirely awake when he sees you. Your eyes are bright, misty, a little teary- you have clearly been waiting for him. It looks as if you've spent some time regretting what you did to him.

Good, Peter thinks. Good that you understand how I felt for once.

"Aunt May let you in?" Peter asks, and you meekly nod. Peter doesn't have it in him to scoff at you- you're too clearly upset and he, try as he might not to care, still doesn't want to see you cry.

He thinks for a moment that you might've done so last night.

"Peter. Please, talk to me." You stand up from the table, but Peter isn't really listening, because he's grabbing cereal and a bowl, and trying to ignore you.

"You said everything you needed to say yesterday." Peter shrugs.

"No way. We didn't even get to talk about anything before you ran off." You cross your arms, but your gaze is still soft. "What did I do wrong? Tell me, so I can make things right."

"Sure, tell me a few more of your pretty little lies. That'll help." Peter scoffs with a heaping amount of pessimism, and you look even more hurt than you did yesterday.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Really?" Peter shuts the fridge a little too hard after pulling out the milk. "Okay, play dumb. I don't really care anymore. You've been out all night, probably fucking Flash, and you want me at your beck and call to be... what? Some sort of pushover? Do you have any idea how ruthless it is to mess with people's feelings?"

You gasp, but Peter isn't finished.

"You never loved me. You never even liked me." He shakes his head, getting a resolute look of sadness on his face. "You know how hard it is to be me? Be a fucking loser who has to try so hard to even get people to like him a little bit?"

Peter bites back some of his resentment, knowing that he doesn't want your pity. "Never mind. I don't care, just live your life without me."

"Peter. How can you just-" You inhale, a tight short breath that has Peter feeling that maybe he said too much.

Oh well. Seeing you again had ignited those angry feelings, and even if he pretended not to care- he still needed to speak on it.

"Me and Flash aren't anything. We didn't even kiss, for crying out loud-" You run your hand through your hair, feeling insane. "I'm sorry. I should've watched how close I was to him. I got a little bit too drunk."

"Yeah, you did." Peter snaps back.

"I really, really like you, asshole." You shut your eyes, feeling bile in your throat from how Peter seems to be judging you so harshly. "I thought I did. I don't know anymore. I pretended not to give a fuck because you always- you seem so aloof, Peter, and it was easier to pull away because I didn't want to get hurt- but I'm actually fucking scared of losing you. I guess I should've made that more obvious."

Peter pauses. Feels his heart thump a little harder, this time with immense regret. He loves you, he knows he does, and hearing the same thing from you? The same feeling of inadequacy, of wanting to be enough but having to pretend not to care?

Peter grabs your arm as you try to leave. You're stubborn, but he shakes his head- he looks remorseful.

"I'm sorry." He pulls you into a hug, one that you don't respond to for a moment, until you tentatively hug him back. "I am an asshole. I love you a lot, you must know that. It's not an excuse- I just wanted you to feel as bad as I did."

"Well, mission accomplished." You mumble into his chest. "I'm sorry, too."

"I thought I was like, some fool that was easily duped by a pretty girl like you." Peter admits, and you laugh. "No, really. You're too good for me."

"Let me decide that, Peter." You shake your head at him. "Come on. Why don't we try this again?"

Peter agrees, and thinks now is a better moment than ever to do what he wanted to do yesterday. He combs back your hair behind your ear, pressing a kiss there, and then leans in and kisses you, relishing in the fact that you tipped your head back so easily. Just for him, no one else.

[air--so--sweet]

TUA Season 4 Spoilers

So...they released deleted scenes for season 4.

Ah yes, let's delete the important character moment between Luther and Diego despite it bringing their series arc full circle, from rivals, to brothers, and acrually shows someone react to finding out how Brn died, who needs to see Klaus' relapse having actually motivation like being having to deal with actual ghosts (I'm guessing we would have seen said ghosts but as this is deleted the VFX weren't added, except for the one he walked through so we understood what was happening), and we drefinitrly don't need to see actual resolution to his story that aldo resolves his entire series arc. Nope they all should be removed. But repeated Baby Shark scenes and a overly long not at all funny, just incredibly gross scene of them all vomiting, no that can stay in.

It's not quite as egregious as the HIMYM deleted scene from the finale but it's close... Also, while I disagree with them removing the scene wgere Robin tells Ted she still has feeling for him, HIMYM had the excuse of having a network TV slot to fit into, TUA, is on streaming and, while we did get some of their longest episodes this season, they were no where near as long as the longest episodes of shows we've seen on streaming. And it's not like these scenes are incredibly long either.

And don't get me wrong, I don't think these scenes would have saved the show. The ghosts scene still feels too brief and he'd already fought with Allison and acted like relapse was a foregone conclusion, but it least acknowledged that dealing with ghosts was why he used drugs in the first place. And Klaus at AA definitely has more of comedic tone than I'd like, it falls into the same trap as a lot of this season of telling over showing, and I don't love Claire and Allison randomly walking in part way through for no reason. However, it has Klaus taking accountability, admitting he's an addict, that fear has stopped him living, and has him realising he can still be those things, he can be an imperfect, fallable, messy human, and be worthy and deserving of love and he doesn't have to do everything alone (which also links back to what he said at the start of the season about Claire liking the version if him who's sober and scared). Literally wrote a fix it scene last night thst deals with these very themes, because we don't see them in the show, so it's even more infuriating to know they were dealt with and left out. And yes Klaus erasing himself a few hours later does render his growth pointless but I'd still rather see the growth rather than not have it at all.

The Ben scene isn't needed (and is very funny to watch without VFX so when he sees his reflection it's just two stand ins in mocap suits 😂) but it could have been a cool scene. The scene of Klaus and Lila's relatives is fun but a bit on the nose I think. Also, finding out Klaus is almost 3 years sober, not actually 3 years sober- makes his lines about being sober for the first time in his life even more frustrating because, I was letting it slide they were ignoring Dallas since he was at least sober for the same amount of time as he was in the '60s, but turns out he's not, he's been sober for less time. Great...

[sciderman]

wade’s not a loser he’s just doomed to lose in love because his type is controlling people who make him feel special because he’s their latest pet project and then it inevitably burns out and he gets hurt because he wants too much to please/to be someone else they like and most of them only want an idea of him 😭 that’s different from being a loser. it’s called being sensitive 😭

😔 see, peter's not exactly like that - in fact, he wants to be largely hands-off when it comes to wade's reformation but wade kind of - in his head, still makes those parallels to nate. it's why civil war was such a huge breech of trust for wade – that peter didn't "trust" wade to make the right decision all by himself.

it tanked wade's trust in himself - his own sense of pride and self-determinism, to have peter kind of - police him in that way.

wade's so apprehensive about this because he knows he's perpetually aiming to please. at the expense of his own authentic self. and it's a curse. wade hasn't really found a sense of self because he's always changing to be what his lover wants of him.

[x]

(and that's where the choker motif comes in - which is actually why i was reluctant to bring the choker back, because i wanted wade to kind of - have overcome this.)

the collar was symbolic for a very, very specific thing. and it's not a positive thing. wade's just a dog (bow wow) - his owner throws a bone, he'll fetch it.

i wanted him to have overcome it - which is why i got rid of the choker again after civil war was over - but - y'know, i guess he hasn't overcome it. it's still there. just manifested in a different form. and no matter how both nate and peter want wade to be honest and authentic - wade's certain that's not a good idea. that, or wade honestly - with his shifting brain terrain, doesn't entirely trust himself enough to know himself.

i think the unfortunate thing with wade is not only that he's unpredictable to everyone else - he's unpredictable to himself, too.

[x]

he doesn't put a lot of faith into himself, when it comes to restraint and impulse control. he's so, so uncertain, all the time. he never believes he's ready. never believes he's worthy.

he's constantly afraid of relapse, and of repeating the cycle, over and over. and i think the reason why wade's unable to evolve is maybe to do with the fact that he's not stopped to think about who he wants to be – he's so concerned with what other people want him to be.

i find it so funny that it's become a focal point to wade's character at the moment, because it was something the original draft of civil war explored before the uncle ben angle - wade was dragging peter for filth over him being too concerned over what other people think of him to embrace his own truth.

oh. projecting, are we?

wade - he just wants to be whatever will be wanted. whatever's in demand. whatever the preferred flavour of the week is. whatever's hot right now. whatever will get him sympathy, get him attention, get him approval, get him love. in fact, the entire deadpool persona was founded because he admired spider-man and wanted to be admired in the same way he admires spider-man.

it's a curse, and he's painfully aware of it.

so he'll put on an act and put on a mask and twist the truth to keep everyone interested. but he alienates people that way too. and for peter parker, who just craves some authenticity from wade - peter parker, who fell in love with the modest wade in swim trunks who put away the mask and lay down his weapons and laid his heart bare on the sandy shores of the bahamas...

for peter parker, it's kind of infuriating. that after all this time, wade still doesn't understand that peter loves wade without all the performances and pretence. wade doesn't need to keep pretending.

peter and wade are both guilty of masking - pretending to be something else to be more socially accepted or more appealing or more (or in peter's case, less) attention-grabbing. but where they differ is that when peter gets close to someone, he has this compulsive desire to unmask and be seen. particularly if he feels safe to do so.

whereas wade still lives in fear of it - every day. sometimes, no matter how close he gets to someone.

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Hear me out (here comes more stuff hshsh):

I don’t think SB would actually verbalize his hurt and sadness for having lost so much time with his children (and not having been a good dad when they needed him, tbf) but maybe he’d write it down or blurt it out when he’s too vulnerable to actually care about who’s hearing what he’s saying; so imagine a moment where MC hears or reads his words about being terribly sorry for missing out on his children’s lifes, and how sorry he is for fucking them up

MC hearing him talk to Butcher about SB’s father, and then them talking about her; SB actually appreciates that MC has someone who cares for her like Billy does, and he laments that he wasn’t a good dad for his daughter - I also feel bad for HL for having grown up too early and too roughly, but that doesn’t excuse his behavior as an adult - so SB would probably still be disappointed in HL but glad (and surprised probably) that his little girl didn’t turn out so bad as her brother

And this is something I’ve also mentioned before, which I strongly believe: dads are different when it comes to their sons and their daughters. And I think Ben always had a softer spot for MC, and now when she’s an adult and he has actually missed years of her life, he actually regrets not having been as present as he could’ve while she was still really his little girl

sb and butcher find a common ground in their love for mc 😭😭♥️

and sb being one of those dads that has a weak spot for his little girl... 🥹 he's definitely one of those dads who also doesn't think any guy is worthy of their daughter, but he thinks butcher might be close to worthy. as much as butcher annoys soldier boy, sb also respects the love that butcher has for you. and hearing of butcher's own shitty dad really has soldier boy rethinking the earlier years with you and hl.

really it was a miracle that you weren't more of a monster like the rest of your family. you're possibly the one good thing that has ever come from soldier boy. you're the embodiment of a ray of hope.

mc stumbling upon one of those private conversations between butcher and soldier boy has you viewing your dad in a different light.

i can't remember if it was you or the anon who mentioned that soldier boy has a box filled with your old drawings you gifted to him. one of those drawings being in his pocket when the russians took him :( him keeping it all throughout his captivity by simply refusing to unclench his fist that securely held onto it. it's crumpled now. the color faded and splatters of blood staining it, but its something soldier boy still keeps with him. it just so happened to be a family portrait you made of the three of you, your dad being the largest figure in the drawing while you and hl appear so small next to him.

when doing laundry (yes you're forced to do your own father's laundry since he's now living with you and the Boys), you find it in the pocket of the pants he'd arrived to New York in. you don't know what's on it at first since the flimsy sheet of paper felt like it was going to disintegrate from your touch. your crudely written initials in crayon tipped you off though. needless to say kimiko found you in the laundry room crying and holding the drawing close to your chest. all this time your dad cared for you more than you thought he did.

[grinchwrapsupreme]

ok i keep seeing people say that the captain must have served in WWI because of his age. Personally, I don't think he did because of how he behaves in the flashbacks in Redding Weddy (and, more obviously, his lack of medals showing a lack of involvement) but I don't think we'll ever know for sure, it doesn't seem important to his character and he hasn't made any references to anything outside of WWII let alone the first one. So just for kicks, here's a list of possible reasons the Captain didn't serve:

Reserved Occupation: conscription exempted a lot of people due to a variety of reasons and about 1/3 eligible men were exempted due to RO. Basically it means that men who were in jobs considered important could only be conscripted in a very narrow age margin (they could volunteer but they didn't have to go) such as vets, clergymen, miners (complicated situation for that one), and a variety of men who worked in engineering or industrial related jobs (including those who worked in munitions (sound familiar?))

Health: there's a whole variety of health problems that could exempt an otherwise fit man including asthma, arthritis, a rash even. It could literally have been a passing illness or a childhood problem that passed by the time WWII rolled around, just a bit of bad luck that hit him at just the wrong time (or it could have been bad knees that he lied about 20 years later)

Conscientious Objection: I don't think it's this one, that guy loves war, he wants to fight so bad, but I'm not going to just not put it here

Age: LISTEN. We don't know the Captain's canon age. At his youngest I would say he was born in 1900, putting him at 46ish when he died (the age Ben was when Ghosts first started (he could easily be older and in fact probably is idk (Ben help me out here ple-))) which would mean when the war kicked off he was 14 and conscription began he was only 16. He would have hit conscription age at 18 in 1918 which was the year the war ended. Conscription continued until 1920 but the fighting was "officially" over so they wouldn't have been calling on as many people and he might have been passed over for someone more fit, more healthy, less reserved occupationy etc. etc. I don't think it was this one either but for posterity here it is. Or he was conscripted late which would lead to

Training: This one happened to my own relative during WWI. If Cap came of age during the war, which he would have if he died anywhere between the ages of 46-50, he would have been conscripted and trained in England during the war. If the war ended while he was still in training he might never have been sent out at all despite being the right age for it. Any of the above could also have caused this - a bad rash, a nasty cough, being too young, working in a factory building ships, and so on - but it might very well have happened and would have prevented him from seeing any medal-worthy action or getting the experience needed to make him less of a nervous wreck leading to the Cap we see in Redding Weddy

To conclude: the Captain might have served in WWI but he could just as easily not have. We'll probably never know and any interpretation of his backstory is both valid and a very interesting read into his character

[ohtobeleah]

Minimal Losses // Jake Seresin

Chapter Four: Kryptonite

Summary: Jake occupancies you down to the local North Island precinct and is totally stuck by the way you are treated by the local authorities.

Warnings: Jake Seresin x FBI!reader. Slow Burn. Criminal Minds crossover. Sexism, misogyny.

Word Count: 4.1k

Author Note: I want you ALL to know that ONE reblog was responsible for reviving this series and putting it back into my writing roster. That’s all it took. One comment. MASTERLIST

Jake, for the life of him, couldn’t quite get a good grasp on the reality he was falling into. He's sitting at a blackened glass round table, in a conference room that he isn't sure he has clearance to be in, sweating so profusely that he’ll need to change his shirt the second he gets back to base. 

He hasn’t even really recovered from seeing how easily one of Ben Stiller's many variants had treated you at the front gate, he’s seething, seeing red, but he has to accept that that’s something you've dealt with far too many times to count to even be phased by it now. Desensitised. 

There's a man sitting across from him he doesn't know, he’s only just walked in a few seconds ago with a stack of paperwork and cream coloured files. Sitting across from Jake with a huff, clearly pressed for time. The man with dark hair and brown eyes seems to be rattled, but Jake isn't going to be the one who initiates the conversation. It's so quiet he can hear the ticks of hands on the clock hanging above his head. 

Spencer Reid is on his left, sitting patiently as ever as he decides now's an incredibly appropriate time to get some light reading done. Jake swears the guy only started the book twenty seconds ago and he's nearing the back pages. He can’t help but to feel awkward and far less worthy than he’s ever felt while he’s tucked between two PHD having brainiacs. But as the thoughts of unworthiness threaten to overcome him, Jake looks to his right, with anxiety he didn't know he could experience riddling his nervous system, he watches as a soft smile creeps across his face absentmindedly as you take a bite of the ham and cheese sandwich he’d watch you slap together in a hurry in the kitchen of the precinct. Typing away with one hand on your laptop that's prompted open in front of you, catching Jake looking at you in your peripheral is what has you freezing, looking at him with a smile so pure it sends his heart clear out of this world. He’s in love. 

“Did you want a bite?” You ask as if you're sitting in the livingroom of the dorm you’re occupying back at base and not about to discuss highly classified information regarding an ongoing murder investigation. “I can share if you want?” You ask again and it only has Jake's heart pounding against his chest harder. You were everything he’d dreamed of and then some. Brilliant minded, whitty, so incredibly intelligent, he loved the way your glasses sat just perfectly on the bridge of your nose. He adored the way you just pushed your hair back into whatever position, shape and place would hold. Jake thinks he’s dying, he’s never felt this kind of sensation before—it’s like he’s floating. He’s never been in love with someone before. “Or I can quickly race back and make you one? You like ham and cheese?” 

“Nah, nah, I think I'm good.” Jake rubs his clammy hands on his jeans as you go back to what you were working on. He just sits there in awe of everything around him. How you did this for a living he’d never understand. 

“JAG got wind of the ongoing investigation.” You don't even look up from the email Special Agent Bradshaw had just CC’d you in on. “Apparently they wanna take over the case.” Jake sat back as he listened, watching intentionally with how you acted around your own team. “Agent Bradshaw just emailed me a copy of the email chain, seems like they’re really pushing—“ 

“Well, you can tell JAG, Kas, that that won't be happening.” Aaron Hotchener passed you one of the many cream coloured files he’d lugged into the room as Reid sat up a little straighter with his ears pricked to attention. “Ensign Sue Snelling was just found dead in the engine room of the Lexington, thismorning, that’s three victims, no arrest.” Opening the file, you had to quickly shut it so as to not throw up the sandwich you’d just finished scoffing down. “I've just touched base with Agent Bradshaw, she's in the process of pulling her men from the other carriers that we’d had our eyes on but this just means it's been confirmed a serial killer is currently stationed out on the UUS Lexinton and we need to act now.” 

“Did the unsub use the same methods?” Spencer asked as he leaned over to take the file from you. “That’s interesting considering he’d know that killing abroad only makes it easier to narrow it down. Like catching fish in a barrel.” 

“Unsub?” Jake asked curiously as he looked at Spencer, his elbows now resting on the glass tabletop. 

“It means Unknown Subjects.” You explained, which made Jake frown because he thought you knew who the guy was. “We have our suspicions, now we know he’s on the Lexington for sure it rules out a handful of other persons of interest.” 

“You must be Jake Seresin?” Aaron smirked for a second from across the table. “I’m Special Agent Aaron Hotcher, Behavioral Analysis Unit chief—Sorry, I’ve had your file sitting on my desk for about a week now but I trust Agent Bradshaw's judgement enough to know she wouldn’t pick a lemon and I haven’t received a distress text from Agent Kas here either.” Hotch kinked his gaze your way for a brief moment as you dipped your chin. Jake wondered if distress texts were something you often sent out. “So, I trust that you’re up to speed and ready to sign your life away to the government for better or worse.” 

“I already did that the second I was tapped out of the naval academy, sir—I’m government barcoded and all.” Jake cracked the slight joke just so he could hear you laugh, it worked. Spencer watched with a questioning brow as you covered your mouth to muffle the sounds that escaped without force. He’d never known you to be one for romance, although—he’d never seen someone look at you the way he observed Jake. It was with kind, compassionate eyes that Jake admired you. 

“I trust you'll be a fine asset to the team Lieutenant Seresin, Y/n here is an exceptional analysis—keep up with her and you’ll be just fine.” Jake took a moment to rub his hands against his thighs again, suddenly feeling in over his head. He was used to being the best at what he did—but now he wasn’t even on the register. You could sense Jake was spiralling, opting to fish for his pinky under the table and hook yours with his. Grounding the naval aviator who’d drawn you out of your shell. 

“You and Agent Kas will be stationed out to the Lexington with the rest of your squadron as of late tomorrow afternoon—we can’t afford to push this anymore than that if we’re another victim down.” 

“I don’t know how you guys are gonna spin such a quick turn around.” Jake scoffed softly in disbelief. “Some of the guys who aren’t privy to this whole undercover investigation are gonna smell that somethings up.” Jake was right, but Hotch was already two steps ahead in the short amount of time it had taken you and Jake to shower, change and head over to the precinct. Sliding a cream folder into the aviator's hands, Hotch tilted his head at you in a shared moment of thought. Jake had his head screwed on tight, Arron Hotchner respected that. 

“You’re admirals are in a briefing as we speak, they’ll have to figure something out and figure it out fast because you, Lieutenant, are officially an employee of the BAU.” Jake eyed off the content of the file Hotch had slid Jake. It was his. Anything anyone needed to know about Jake Seresin was contained in that file. Stamped across the front read liaison officer. “Bradshaw tells me you’ve been carrying some old NCIS badge around like it’s made of gold.” Spencer snickered to himself as Jake's cheeks lit up like a Christmas tree. You couldn’t help but to laugh as Hotch tossed him a leather flipper case. “So I took liberty and got you actual liaison officer credentials, agent Seresin.” 

“Now it’s really official—“ You cooed, smiling at Jake with genuine kindness and admiration as he showed you the credentials you carried around all day everyday. To you they were just another form of Identification, but to Jake? It was something else. He had a duty to keep you safe. That was his only task.

“I haven’t had a chance to organise a weapons training session for Lieutenant Seresin, should I organise that before we go back to the naval base?” You stated and Hotch just shook his head softly. You were good at your job, he’d give you that—but you needed more experience in fieldwork. There was a small part of him that thought you were in over your head with this case—too young, too youthful, too by the book, but Agent Bradshaw had been the one to slap him upside the head and told him to give you a chance. She saw something in you not a lot of people saw. Strength. This was your case and you’d work it start to damn finish. 

Much like Spencer, everything was by the book. So when you looked at Hotch as if he’d just told you to forget about the very book you were told to know word for word, he simply replied with something that resonated with Jake a lot more than he’d probably intended it to. 

“He doesn’t need to carry a gun to be able to kill someone, Kas.” 

“Would be good to at least have him cleared for handling, just for legality purposes.” Spencer could sense the frustration going against protocol and procedure brought you. He could practically see the existential crisis brewing under your skin. “Have you ever handled a gun Lieutenant Seresin?” 

“Probably not to the extent you three have but yeah, I’ve dabbled in the odd firing range excursion.” Jake's father had been an avid hunter growing up. He knew his way around a hunting gun, but he’d never used a gun for anything other than shooting rabbits, ducks or deer. 

“You and Kasper can head on down to the firing range for a quick skill eval.” Hotch sighed, holding the bridge of his nose. “You’ll need to be quick.” 

“I heard Morgan’s in to do a talk on cop killers.” Spencer added as he stood. “I’ll have him line up a skill eval and we can kill two birds with one stone.” 

“Perfect, set it up, get these two kitted up, signed out and on that carrier before we end up with another victim—“ 

***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Alright alright!” You beamed as Jake flashed you his new credentials in the elevator down to the shooting range. “You can stop showing me your badge Jake, it’s getting old.” 

“Sorry—it’s actually Agent Seresin now.” Jake corrected you as he pocketed the new identity he’d unlocked, another level of self promotion to ascend his already higher than heaven ego. “God, Roosters gonna cream his pants when I show him.” 

“You and Rooster close?” You asked gracefully as the elevator dinged, Jake let you walk out first as his hand fell to the small of your hip. Guiding you although he had no idea where he was going. “Seems as though you get along with Agent Bradshaw on a personal level as well as professional?” 

“Well, it’s—“ Jake wasn’t sure this very moment was the most appropriate time to go over his relationship with the Bradshaws. “They’re my people, to put it simply.” That was no word of a lie. 

As you and Jake entered the firing range, there were a vast variety of men in uniform huddling around one of the firing zones. Pushing through—you met Derek Morgan, a familiar face amongst a sea of people you didn’t know. 

“Hey, Morgan? Why’d you call all these people down here for?” You greeted the much older man who just smiled at you, nodding at Jake in the process— acknowledging his presence. There would be a later time for formal introductions, but right now was not that time. 

Hey! How you doin kid?” Morgan teased, he was forever taunting you about your age. “Does your mother know you're here?” Jake caught onto the way people treated you quickly. He was aware that Agent Bradshaw treated you with enough respect that it put a pep in your step, but Jake also caught the glances the men surrounding you at the present gave you. Like you weren’t supposed to be here. 

“Give me that.” You hissed as you snatched the handgun from Morgan’s hand, placing a single round into the chamber as you walked into the shooting zone. You placed the earmuffs over your ears haphazardly that have been hanging on the hook beside you and with a single exhale and soft shoulders, you fired the round with precise precision. 

“Nice shooting Kas–” Morgan promptly complimented you. Taking the gun as you held it out for him. 

“Better than Billy the kid.” You beamed, again—Jake noticed the pep in your step. 

“Diaper rash makes you cranky huh?” That same pep was gone just a few seconds later. “Here.” Morgan handed you the target you’d shot, there was a bullet hole directly in the middle of the target. “Give this to your mum, maybe she’ll stick it on the refrigerator door.”

The girl who stood amongst a sea of testosterone wasn’t the girl Jake had taken home that night from the bar, you’d shrunken six feet under as your shoulders slumped, taking the target sheet from Morgan. He didn’t know how much his commitment affected you, but Jake could see straight through the tough exterior you tried to front. 

“Shit, that was pretty badass, you know—“ Jake caught your gaze as you came to sant beside him, bumping his hip to yours. “For a behavioural analysis.” 

“I took an advanced firearms course my second year with the bureau, not that I ever thought I’d be in the field.” With every day that past, Jake Seresin learnt a new fact about you that left him stunned into complete silence. For someone who had the gift of the gab, that was a compliment in and of itself. You’d been the only person who could render Jake silent. With nothing to say. 

“Okay who's wearing?” Morgan looked around the group of police officers who just stared at him blindly like he’d asked such a personal question. When no one answered, you frowned. Idiots you thought as you rolled your eyes.

Raising your hand, every man that stood in the room laughed and turned to one another like you'd just outed yourself as some prissy desk jockey. 

“Kas?” Morgan even raised a brow in response to you wearing a vest. 

“Everyone should be wearing.” You replied shortly. “It’s protocol.” Looking around, all eyes were on you. All snickering, all looking down at you. 

“Okay, fair—but baby girl imma need to borrow it real quick.” Morgan smirked, gesturing for you to hand over your vest. 

“Here sugar, let me assist you–” a voice called out from the back of the crowd before a gaggle of laughter erupted from the man who all stood around waiting for the demonstration to begin. Jake couldn’t have clenched his jaw harder if he wanted to. 

“Oh no thanks, I've been dressing myself since I was five years old.” You snapped back, turning your chest into Jake to shield yourself from being completely exposed as you undressed from the waist up. “All you perverts turn your heads.” You spoke over your shoulder as a horrifying whistle echoed throughout the firing zone. Jake saw red as he looked down at you, watching as you slipped your shirt over your head, unclipping the bullet proof vest that you’d been wearing since you left the base. It left you vulnerable, exposed in just your bra. “Here.” You handed Morgan the vest with a meek look. Fuck you could just die right about now. 

“Hey, I’m right here—don’t worry about anyone else.” Jake cooed, his eyes searching yours for confirmation you were listening to him. Tilting your chin up with his index finger and thumb as you balled your shirt up in your firsts against his chest. “I ain’t gonna let no one hurt you.” Jake was quick to  whisper. “But for what it's worth? Both on and off the record? I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” 

You would have kissed him then and there on the spot if you hadn’t been standing where you were. Morgan’s voice brought you crashing down to reality harder than ever as you worked to throw your short back on. Turning so your back was now against Jake's chest.  

“Okay everybody listen up, I want you all to take a good look at these lovely little bullets.” Morgan handed out a handful of red tipped bullets. “Cute right? You’ll notice the smooth jacket, pay particular attention to the tip.” Hanging your vest, Morgan pushed the bottom that had it flying back towards the furthest point away from the shooting range. Further back than you’d ever really seen anyone practise at. 

“Now you've all seen one of these vests stop a .357 magnum bullet at close range haven't you?” Everyone nodded, including you. Jake nodded just to fit in but he didn’t know shit. “Observe–” Morgan turned, firing a single round into the vest at long range. You weren’t too sure what to expect, but as he pressed the button to bring the vest back to the window, you audibly gasped. 

“Son of a bitch–” You sighed, watching as Mogan poked his finger right through the bullet hole he’d shot straight through the vest. Pulling out a piece of protective armour and holding it up. A single round had gone straight through. 

“Armour-piercing bullets?” Jake raised an eyebrow as he leaned in behind you to whisper his concern into your ear, not wanting to sound dumb to anyone other than you. 

“Yeah, cop killers.” 

“Now these bullets came from a suspect one of you fine young men arrested yesterday.” Morgan passed one of the police officers who stood stunned the bullet pierced armour plate that had now been rendered useless. “Yep–that's right, gentleman, and lovely little lady.” Morgan turned to you, the only woman in the room. “They’re out on the streets.”

It made your heart race slightly, the idea of far less protection being readily available now than there was before. What a time to make a breakout in your career, there was a slight moment of regret behind your eyes as you turned into Jake, he looked just as worried as you did but he wasn't plagued with the same plethora of knowledge you were. You should have stayed behind the desk, given the case to someone with more experience, you were far too in over your head. 

Morgan handed you the shot through vest, winking as he noticed the way you hung closer to Jake than he’d ever seen you hang around anyone. You were far too much like Spencer in that aspect, walking, talking computers. He smiled, taking in the fact you hadnt bothered to separate from your new partner, clearly comfortable in his presence as you took the vest back. Pressing your lips together in a tight line as Jake let his hand rest on your shoulder. 

“Vests are optionals boys and girls, especially girls.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

You could tell something was up just by the way Jake was practically silent in the car on the way back to base. He had the gift of the gab, so when Jake Seresin was silent it wasn't hard to come to the conclusion that something was ping ponging around his that big ass head of his. 

“Jake, it's fine–” You sighed, letting your shoulders slump back as you drove, your hands at ten and two.

“I really don’t fuck with the way you’re treated.” Jake’s voice came out far more gruff than he intended it to as he looked out the window. “From that dickhead at the gate to that Derek guy to the way those officers just–” He couldn't finish his own sentence without clenching his jar, cracking his knuckles. “You should stand up for yourself a little more, you know that right?” 

“Huh.” It was hard not to feel slightly offended, amongst all the little jabs that had been dealt your way today, Jakes had been the hashest of them all, unintentionally. “I'll be sure to put that at the top of my to-do list, Lieutenant Sersin.” 

“Kas–” Jake let his head fall back against the headrest as he turned to look at you. He hadnt noticed the glossy look in your eyes or the way you bit your bottom lip until it was too late to take what he’d already said back. “I didn't mean it like that, I just think you deserve so much more respect than you’re given and if people aren't giving it to you then you need to–” 

“Jake, I already have enough people telling me what to do right now, I don't need you adding yourself to that ever growing list.” The drive back to base wasn't all that far, but with the way Jake was burning a hole into the side of your head with his glare, it felt like a lifetime. 

“You are the most intelligent person I know, yet you act like you’re less than significant?” Jake questioned, he didn't understand why you let people walk all over you. He didn't understand why you didn't speak up when being spoken down to. He didn't understand what it was like to be a woman in a man's world. He’d only ever surrounded himself with people like Phoenix and Special Agent Bradshaw. His mother and sisters would ever let someone treat them the way you let others treat you. Powerful forces to be reckoned with who took no crap from anyone, including him.

You were just different, Jake didn't understand why you weren't like the other women in his life. For someone as brilliant minded and gifted as you he thought there would have had to have been some sort of cockness to you–a level of I know more than you, somewhere buried deep inside. But you just didn't see yourself the way he saw you. 

“The way people talk down to you, it makes me want to break every bone in their body.” Jake saw you as a higher power, a goddess living amongst merely mortal men. 

“I am insignificant, Jake.” You mumbled as you turned into the base car park, dreading having to pretend to be someone you weren't. A fighter pilot with balls of steel. You couldn't even stop yourself from getting a nosebleed. “I'm a pencil pusher! I'm not like Agent Bradshaw, I don't know what I'm doing, I'm in over my head and people are dying.” Jake just let you talk, he listened with intent to everything you had to say, wanting an insight into how you saw yourself. 

“There is a serial killer on a carrier in the middle of the ocean and my sole responsibility right now is making sure I take him down and you’re sitting here, telling me I need to stand up for myself?” 

“I'm not trying to tell you anything Kas, I just think you deserve more respect than what's given to you.” Jake reached gently for your hand, being careful not to startle you as he guided your grip off the wheel and into his palm, fingers intertwining as he brought the palm of your hand up to his mouth–pressing his lips to your pal in a simple domestic act of admiration. “You are so beautiful, so intelligent, it's hard to understand how people don't see you the way I see you.” 

“Oh yeah? And how exactly do you see me?” Jake wanted to say as the love of his life, he wanted to say his future wife, the mother of his children he didn't know he wanted. But he knew that sounded crazy, so he stuffed the crazy deep inside and went with something a little more appropriate. 

“I see you for you, Y/n.” You had to pull your eyes away from the carpark you'd just parked in for a few seconds to really take a minute to look at Jake. “The reason I came up to you at the Hard Deck initially had been because I thought you were one hell of a looker.” You had to chuckle, you couldn't help it, shaking your head as Jake tilted your chin back up to look at him. “But unlike all the other women I’ve met, you didn’t fall for my crap, you spoke to me like you knew every answer to every question I could think of.” Leaning over the centre console, you smirked against Jake's lips as he pulled you close with his hand pressed to the back of your head. 

“I still slept with you though—“ Jake's lips ghosted your own as he smiled devilishly, rubbing the pad of his thumb behind your ear as he kept you leaning into him. “Three times actually, so I can’t be as bright as you think I am.” 

“Everyone’s got a kryptonite.” That’s what sent you and Jake into a frenzy, gripping onto each other like you were the last two people on earth, dizzy and needy. Your lips crashed against Jakes as his hand moved from the back of your head to the dip of your neck, holding you in a feverish kiss that honestly had you seeing stars. 

Your tongue danced with Jakes like you'd known him for a lifetime, before you pulled away to breath, to find your bearing and remember you were back at base. 

“What you saw today, that's an everyday occurrence, to me it's just become an occupational hazard, so unless you are single handedly going to change the stigma surrounding Female Agents, Lieutenant Seresin?” 

“That's Agent Seresin with the FBI to you Lieutenant Jackson.” You couldn't help but to scoff, shaking your head as you bit your bottom lip. 

“Do me a goddamn favour and get off my dick.” Jake just beamed, wrinkled his nose and balled his fist as if he were celebrating a victory of some sort, looking at you with such bright, love filled eyes. You were defending yourself, well–trying to, in the safety net of Jake Seresin. Your effort was met with a thousand watt grin, the corners of Jakes lips tucked ear to ear before he cooed three simple words that had you drooling.

“That's my girl.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Tags // @auroraboreallisfine @buckythewintersquirrel @a-lil-bit-nuts @bookaholics-stuff @ilovewhalesharks444 @a-serene-place-to-be @alexsisrebekah @rhirhikingston @caitsymichelle13 @twsssmlmaa @chaoticversion @topguncultleader @averyhotchner @phoenix1388 @emma8895eb @avaleineandafryingpan @endofdays56 @dempy

[walker-extended-universe]

Walker Series Finale Review

This one's going to be a little different than my normal reviews. I'm not going to give a full recap and I'll focus more on my reactions, my hopes, and my (very minor) disappointments.

I have a lot of love for this show and it's very hard for me to see it end, but I think the ending we got was very good and I want to focus on those feelings and hopefully spark further conversation with y'all.

So, let's dive into it.

One of the things I want to talk about first is that, while it didn't feel like a Series finale, it was very satisfying. I think Anna and the team made the right choice choosing not to film an alternate "final" ending. I think if we'd gotten a "proper" finale, it would've been an hour of unearned character moments and rushed dynamics. Everything about this episode felt so natural and while I wish we were getting more, I can appreciate the endings we got.

One thing I really appreciated about the ending was how light it was. I feel like everyone got a happy ending (or close enough to one at least) and after this season, that's what we all needed. Abby and Bonham figuring out their retirement goals, Stella looking forward to a more relaxing college experience, Sadie sticking around the Walker-Broussard family..... All of it was perfect. While I don't have much to say on those plots specifically since there wasn't much to them this episode, I think they ended well.

Now, I want to go over the Big Endings we got and do a little gushing.

First, I want to cover Ben and Liam's conclusion. We've seen them take small steps this season with Ben becoming more integrated into the Walker family and Liam letting his guard down more for him. It was a small part of the season (and one where most of the progression happened off screen) but one I enjoyed nonetheless. We finally get to see them take that finale step toward a complete future together with Liam asking Ben to move in together and start looking at houses. It was a very small, quick moment but one that I loved, especially the actual conversation XD I love Liam and his inability to be normal about things and I'm sure "I want you to use normal words" is a phrase we will hear often in the future Walker-Perez household.

Before I dive too deep into the big emotions of the episode, I want to talk about August's character development. The reveal that August had applied for colleges behind everyone's backs and decided against going to the military was a relief for me. And just the statement of "I guess I'm just that disciplined" shows me that he learned he doesn't have to do that to be worthy of love. While I wish we knew more about his exact plans for the future (and how the hell he got the money for the application fee to Harvard without anyone noticing), I'm happy to hear he's not so self-depricating anymore.

Next, I want to talk about Cassie. I've been feeling a lot of feelings about her for the past few episodes since Anna killed Luna off for no reason (by her own admission too -_-). While I'm not a big fan of her becoming James' lieutenant, I had a feeling that's where the story was going and since she can't have a happy personal life, I appreciate that she got to have at least that dream come true. I also really loved how the show portrayed and handled her grief over Luna. She's struggling, especially with her relationship with Cordell, but she has a lot of support around her and she's glad for it. That scene with Cassie and Kelly and Geri on the couch will be living rent free in my heart <3.

One big thing that I appreciated about her arc this episode is that she's not completely 1000% back on her feet. She's still grieving Luna. She's still wondering if she made the right choice to stay in Austin. She's still conflicted over Cordell. But she wants to get better and move on to a brighter future. So, she forgives Cordell. She gracefully takes the promotion. She opens herself up to her close friends. It felt very natural and comforting and it's more than I could've hoped for for the finale. I wish we could've gotten to see her settle into her role and learn to manage all her new expectations and guidelines dynamics, but there's always fanfic <3

Of course, I can't review this episode without talking about Cordell and his journey. We've seen him hit his lowest point this season and his time in the finale was dedicated to trying to fix some of his messes. His conversations with Stella and August really hit a cord with me and I'm so glad we got to have them before the show ended. That and the constant repetition that he really just need to be there for them. He didn't have to be perfect or set aside all his other ambitions; he just couldn't forget about them.

This translates well to his contentions with Geri. He wants to be the kind of man Geri needs, the kind who's there when she needs him and doesn't leave her feeling neglected. But he needed to learn that that also means letting her be there for him. It means that when he starts to spiral down a dark road, he still leaves a trail for her to follow. No more lying and pretending things are Fine just for the sake of it. And he's willing to make those changes, starting by taking a leave of absence and taking the whole family on a well-deserved vacation. It's the start of a new chapter in his life and I wish him the best.

This episode made me emotional in the best way. While I'm sad we won't have any more adventures with the Walker family, I'm satisfied with where their stories are headed. And, with an open ending like that, who knows what we might get in the future?

But those are just my thoughts. What are yours?

[honestlynervousnut]

I think we don't Talk enough about crazy stuff that could happen to coach Ben in S3 so let me start with my crazy rambling/theory:

Coach Ben is gonna eat this man.

He's gonna eat this man in the literal canibalistic sense of the word.

Okey before starting my rambling I just wanna say two things:

- I love coach Ben but ik he ain't surviving

- And Ik yellowjackets loves some simbolism so lets go:

We don't know if he picked Up meat from the she's before setting the cabin on fire but let's pretend that he didn't. Let's pretend that after a while on the cave the starvation starts getting him and he starts to go through that "seeing the light at the end of the tunnel" moment.

He sees Paul again and they start talking, Ben uses that time to apology for everything he did and tells him everything he wished they had lived, Paul tells him to not worry about It anymore and after a while Ben can feel how he's slowly going away and Paul doesn't want that, no, he wants to help him, so they go on something along the lines of:

Paul: I don't want you to go Ben....not again....and not like this...

Ben: I think its too late for that, besides....what could you do about It?

Paul: Eat me.

Ben: ...What?

And after a while of arguing, Paul begging him to eat him and Ben refusing (if you have seen the movie Bones and all you'l get the reference) Ben just looks at him for the last time before grabing the knife and stabbing Paul with It.

After multiple furious stabs Ben starts eating Paul in the middle of his tears, and once he's done he just lays there on the ground next to "Paul".

He then looks at It again and instead of Paul its a deer or a bunny (or smt like that)

And after his initial shock he starts sobbing and he just lays there.

Why do I think It would happen?

- We all saw how "Paul" left, he can't leave like that, not before allowing Ben to apology and allow him to say I love you for the last time

- Its tragic, and yj likes to do the gays tragically

- COACH DESERVES A PROPER DEEP ENDING! (One that Will tear us apart)

Why would/should that happen?

- To give Coach Ben a worthy "psycological" ending before getting eaten by the girls

- To give him the chance to say goodbye to Paul and civilication and to finally give himself to the wilderness

Simbolism:

- Ben consuming his last link with civilization and with his life before the crash (Paul) would be a tragic but poetic way of realizing he's not coming back (and if there's someone who likes the words "tragic" and "poetic" those are the yj writers XD)

- I really think that would be a really proper way to cut any chance of going back to normal

-It would be pretty similar to what Shauna did to Jackie but instead of consuming the other one to keep them forever It would be to let them go

- It would allow Ben to understand and finally be on the same level as the girls

End of my rambling (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

What do yall think?

[galaxyedging]

Mr Ben x gn!reader

Fluff with some bad language.

Fancam Worthy

Last period had been a killer. Trying to teach a bunch of teenagers about organisms, without the dreaded fuck up of say orgasms, took a toll. The tea on your desk was serving to calm your frayed nerves a little but a distraction would be welcome.

The chime of your laptop draw your attention. An email from your boss appeared in your open inbox. That was not the type of distraction you were looking for. The email was to all staff regarding social media.

Good Afternoon,

We are aware of the recent trend of 'fancams' featuring members of the faculty. We will be dealing with this and calling an assembly to address the issue with the students.

Just as you finished reading it, a text came through from your teacher bestie, Amy, across the hall.

Do you really blame the kids?

What?

Have you not seen the fancams?

No.

The next message had a link. Thinking nothing of it, you tapped it. I Need a Big Boy blasting out of your phone had you scrambled to turn the volume down. Once both your heart rate and volume were down you took a look at the video. It was a fancam of Mr Ben, the kid's, and secretly your, favourite teacher. God, he looked good. Even just sitting drinking coffee. Those large hands made his mug look tiny. His Adam's Apple bobbing drew your attention to his long neck. This was a more welcome, yet inappropriate, distraction. The crush you had on the man was completely unprofessional and childish and why were you watching the fancam for a third time?! 

So has he made a move on you yet?

What?!

Come on! Everyone can see how he looks at you.

You didn't reply. It was true that sometimes, if you were hopeful, you thought you saw him looking at you out of the corner of your eye. There was no way he liked you though. He was sweet, patient, smart, handsome. He never mentioned anyone but there was no way he was single. Even if he was single, you weren't that lucky.

Another message, another link. This one was a fancam of the two of you. Hearts exploded around the frame as the two of you looked at each other.

Stop it. You're worse than the kids!

Or we're all just not in denial like you. See you at the meeting.

When the meeting, that could have been an email was over. Ben wandered over to you earning a look from Amy.

"Hey. How was that not just an email?" He whispered, standing close enough that you could smell his cologne. It was a clean, fresh scent. Like a breath of fresh air. Much like him. He had such a passion for his work, he breathed new life into the school when he joined.

"Right? How was your day?" Today was Valentine's Day. Considering half the kids had a crush on him, and were not shy about it at all, you expected his day to be quite rough. 

He chuckled knowingly. "Not too bad. A few inappropriate comments. I think. I'm not always sure what they are even saying." 

It was cute how he was honest that he didn't get half of what the kids said. He never tried too hard to be 'down with the kids'. That was probably why the kids liked him so much. He was so genuine. Where other adults lied to them, he didn't. They knew where they stood with him. It was a quality that you found very appealing too.

"I've been intercepting love notes all day." He held them out for you to see. They were pretty standard. 'Do you like me? Yes or No?' Some depressing bad poetry. "The kids have been so distracted."

"You're not a romantic then?" Maybe more a leading question than a curious one from you.

"Me? No, I love romance. It doesn't seem to be a fan of me though." He chuckled, a blush blooming on his cheeks.

"Ben, we need you." One of you colleagues called him away. Leaving you to formulate a plan.

The halls were empty when you approached his classroom. Even the most dedicated students had left, most of the staff had gone early as they had plans, the rest had gone so they weren't stuck behind while the others enjoyed their night. 

"Hi." Ben smiled as he saw you approach. He looked good. Standing behind his desk, flicking through some papers, long fingers skimming the pages. His stance drawing attention to his well fitting cords.

"Hi." You managed to get out. The nerves bubbling inside you made you long for the simple organism/orgasm days. That would be a breeze compared to this. 

"What's up? Do you need that paperwork?" You had been paired on a student engagement project together. He was looking into more opportunities to give the kids work experience. He'd worked really hard on it. He was so caring, and sweet and…he was staring at you expectantly.

"Er…no. I found another Valentine's note. I thought you should see it." The folded note was between your fingers. His fingers brushed yours as he took it, before sitting on the edge of his desk. Inwardly, you hoped that the janitor had cranked up the heating, you were on fire. 

He opened the note. "Would you like to try that new Italian place in town with me on Friday night? That place is a little fancy for our kids. Good for them, I suppose." He laughed.

This was it. Deep breath. "The kids didn't write it. I did. For you." Seriously, does this place not have air con?!

He looked up at you over his glasses before grabbing a pen. He quickly scribbled something before handing it back. 

He had ticked 'Yes' and added 'Can I take you on a date now? Yes or No?'

"Yes." A ridiculous grin split your lips. It only widened when he smiled back and offered you his arm. The action, along with the feel of his firm bicep under your hand had you honestly swooning. 

"It's not a fancy Italian place but I know somewhere where we could eat." The stairs up to the roof usually felt like a chore to climb. Not today then didn't, not with a spring in every step. 

"How is the roof garden going?" You asked just as he opened up the door, the answer appeared right in front of you. "Oh, wow!"

The garden was flourishing. The wildflowers were blooming. They swayed gently in the breeze, the bright colours rippled against the layered orange hues of the sky as the sunset. It was dazzling. With your attention lost to it, you didn't notice the fancam worthy look Ben was giving you as he look at the smile on your face as you positively glowed in the golden light. 

"You grew food too?!" You gasped. He smiled at your excitement. The same wide eyed joy was present on your face when your class succeeded at anything. You were the most supportive, sweet person he'd ever met. The delighted squeal when he gave you a fresh strawberry to try would be stuck in his head longer than any catchy tune the kids added to their edits.

Standing there, for once, he actually understood why the kids made fancams. He could watch you in this moment over and over again. If you'd let him, he'd make a million more moments like this for the rest of your life.

Tags @kirsteng42 @babydarkstar @prolix-yuy @thegreenkid @hquinzelle @fangirl-316 @gracie7209 @jedifarmerr @doommommy @scorpio-marionette @sturkillerbase @harriedandharassed @aynsleywalker @mswarriorbabe80 @quica-quica-quica @rise-my-angel @adancedivasmom @graciexmarvel @kinda-nobody @movievillainess721 @munsonownsmyass