#Before they end up splitting and ruining lol

[moth-flowers]

wheeeee ^^

[ofcowardiceandkings]

the sinus headaches are already not great but Extra Shit has been added to the pile and im just sat on that right now trying to figure out what the fuck to do

[zemnarihah]

ive obtained a guitar

[blkkizzat]

❛ MY SHORTY ALWAYS ON SOME BULLSHIT LIKE CHICAGO ❜

part of the 420 'We Be Burnin' dispensary series

⋙ MENU ITEM: PLUG!CHOSO x SORORITYBRAT!READER ⋙ PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 (completed)

⋙ product description (summary): you can't stop fucking your drug dealer with the big dick but you can't let your reputation be ruined by actually dating him—he'll just have to deal with it—or is it that he will end up dealing with you? ⋙ side effects (tw): cunnilingus, car sex, backshots, riding, dick sucking, sex for drugs, slut reader, reader being a huge bitch lmfao. slightly black girl coded but no descriptors. this is just p1 tw, p2 will have its own lol. ⋙ thc levels (wc): 3.9k of 22.1k ⋙ inventory notes (a/n): best viewed in dark mode. had to split it up into two parts because i wanted to post on time for 420. barely made it lol!

Plug!Choso who you walked all the way across campus to meet, nervously waiting in the almost always empty parking garage underground level. You don’t even really smoke weed but sorority elections are coming up soon and if you can be the “cool one” to get everyone lit on 420 (as your last plug recently got busted) you could secure a lot more votes. Sure, you were going to an extreme length to win but the last 4 generations of your family have been president of this chapter at your university. You didn't think your mother would even let you back in the house this summer if you didn’t win. So reluctantly, here you are. 

Plug!Choso who when he finally pulls up intimidates you with his looks when he rolls down his window as he’s all dark hair, piercings and tattoos. You want to just do the transaction through the window but he tells you to “get in”. You were a new customer and he had to vet you first to make sure you “weren’t 12.”

Plug!Choso who laughs in your face when you angrily slam the door taking offense and yelling at him if he ‘that regardless of your baby face he was fucking blind if he really thought you looked like a 12 year old.’ You turn up your nose at him but quickly are made to feel like an idiot when he clarifies he meant 12 as in the cops. You blush even harder when he says ‘he’d never mistake anyone with tits like yours for being that young.’

Plug!Choso who you only end up hooking up with because your sorority sisters short changed you. How the hell were you supposed to know an ounce was $250!? You ask if he could let you have a deal at $150 as that's what your old dealer Mahito sold it for before he got busted.

“S’cause his shit was weak, princess. Shouldn’ve even been payin’ that much to be real with you. This is that dank shit and if you want it you gotta pay. I ain’t running a charity.”

You ask if you can pay via venmo, cash app, anything but Choso only takes cash.

Panicking as you did not have $100 extra bucks in cash it’s you who suggests if you could you pay it off in a different way. 

Plug!Choso isn’t one to get sexual favors for weed as he had bills to pay and a baby brother to take care of, but your cute prissy ass reminds him so much of girls from his high school. The ones who’d only ever looked at him back then with disdain. Who came from stable families, were spoiled rotten and thought anyone who didn’t live their perfect cookie cutter life was trash. Choso wasn’t a virgin but he’d lived a damn near celibate life for the last few years, he could use a little stress release from a lil’ snobby thing like you.

Plug!Choso who you only agreed to give a handjob to and you unbuckled the belt on his tattered black jeans as he sits back and lights a joint. You roll your eyes and steel your nerves with a breath as you pull down his boxers. However the sight of his freed cock immediately has your inner slut going crazy. 

How is it that you can’t fit your pink manicured nails completely around his thick shaft?  

Why did his dick have to be so pretty fully erect, red tip throbbing as he pusles in your hand when you tease his frenulum with the pad of your finger? 

And just what's gotten into you now? It's shameful how you're rubbing your thighs together just from seeing him throw his head back while biting his lip to keep from whimpering. You have his sculpted hard abs trembling from you flicking over the bent barbell of his prince albert piercing. 

The silver reflected even in the dim garage lighting as his thick pre collected in drops on the ball of the piercing before dribbling down your hand. You unconsciously wet your lips. You know you only said a hand job but you wanted a taste—badly.

It isn’t long before you are giving into your cravings and talking him fully into your mouth needing a taste of him and forcibly gagging around his girth curious to see how much his cock could have you choking. 

Plug!Choso’s eyes flew open and he almost dropped his joint once he felt the hot n’ slick wetness of your velvety tongue slurping up the pre leaking off his piercing and taking him fully into your throat until he was hitting tonsils. 

Yet it’s because you are the massive slut that you are, it’s an even shorter amount of time before you pop him out of your mouth, lift your skirt and slide your panties to the side in order to bounce on him raw in the driver's seat. He makes you cum so hard your squirt splashes to drench his pants and even hits his dashboard and steering wheel. He reluctantly has to lift you off him at the last minute so he doesn’t come inside, further soiling you and his car. Choso doesn’t mind though as seeing you getting that messy for him made him hard all over again— and he pulls you into the backseat for round 2 which consists of you face-down ass-up getting the backshots of your fucking life.

Plug!Choso who you quickly start secretly hooking up with on the regular. Seeing as everyone loves how hard his shit hits they send you more frequently to pick it up. You pretend like it's a minor inconvenience but your stomach clinches in anticipation thinking of his fat cock inside of you. Of course, you aren’t disclosing to your sorority sisters how his dick hits even harder than his than his weed. You shiver just thinking of it carving through your guts ruthlessly every time you fuck. 

Plug!Choso who you are now secretly texting ‘cowboy’ and ‘eggplant’ emoji whenever you want your doonies beat down— regardless if you are getting weed from him or not that day. However when you are sent to get weed from him, he isn’t even charging you any longer. He tells you to keep it and get a new full set. You always manage to fuck up your acrylics bad when you are with him. Not your fault he fucks you so good you are desperate in the moment to cling to him, the handles, the dashboard— whatever you could get your hands on to grip to keep from loosing your mind as you always end up fucked absolutely dumb. 

Plug!Choso who you end up low-key dating but you are still a huge bitch to him in public. Acting like you don't know who he is when you see him. Tsk, you were just begging for him this morning to meet you in the ‘usual spot’ in the near abandoned campus garage lot so he could fuck you. You treated him like he was dirt beneath your shoe whenever you’d see him even though you’d be crying on his cock beneath him just a few hours prior. Choso thinks it’s disrespectful and annoying as fuck but he just deals with it. It's not like he's caught feelings or anything yet.

Plug!Choso who puts up with your shitty attitude and being your dirty little secret as you are the best— and only pussy— he’s had in a while. Not to mention you are always super sweet to his brother Yuji, who adores you. Choso didn’t intend to ever have you meet him but he ended up having Yuji with him one day. He had to pick him up out of the blue as an emergency near the same time he was supposed to pick you up from the nail salon. 

Although you had even got a fresh wax at the salon and were ready to show it off, finding Yuji, all of 7 years old, in the backseat was an immediate buzz kill. Initially expecting Choso to tell you that’s his kid, a pang of guilt ran through you when he explained his little brother who he takes care of got sick at school and needed to be picked up right away. You weren’t answering his calls or texts and he didn’t want to leave you hanging without a ride. 

You don’t tell Choso you’ve silenced notifications from him (in case one of your sisters were to see his name popup). Instead, you offer to cook Yuji soup when you learn it's only Choso solely taking care of Yuji. Especially after Choso confesses he was just going to pick up a can of chicken noodle and some crackers from the store. 

Heart fluttering at how gentle you are with Yuji in contrast to your usual demanding and bitchy nature, Choso curses at himself that he might be falling in love with you. Although he is well aware his feelings would never be reciprocated by you. Nevertheless, as a ‘thank you’ for dinner, after putting Yuji to bed Choso eats you out for 2-hours straight on the sofa. You end up having to stuff your soggy panties in your mouth to keep your cries in and not wake up Yuji. The way Choso is sloppily munching on your pussy has you cumming deliciously back to back to back on his thick pliable tongue. 

Plug!Choso who after you end up fucking more at his house, a mile or so away from campus, rather than his car these days. In fact, it isn’t even all about sex anymore as you spend the majority of your time over there helping Yuji with his homework, baking cookies, playing games and movie nights with the two of them. 

Once Yuji would go to bed Choso would bring you to the basement to smoke you out before he fucked you out. It’s during one of these smoke sessions though you learn that Choso actually got a full ride scholarship to go to the same university you do now 5 years ago but one quarter into his first year his parents had both died in a tragic accident. Yuji was only 2 then and the thought of losing the only family he had left to foster care was not an option for Choso. When the time came he stepped up to the plate and didn’t think twice about dropping out. 

However fast food jobs and grocery store shifts weren’t cutting it. He’d have to spend nearly all day and night away from Yuji just to keep a roof over his head to afford his late-parent’s mortgage. Dealing, although dangerous, was the best option and being the actual genius Choso was, he was smart about it. More guilt fills you always assumed anyone slanging drugs on the street was a burnout who couldn’t cut the real responsibilities of life. Yet Choso already had way more responsibility than anyone his age should have had.

You had sorely misjudged him.

Plug!Choso who realizes sooner than you do the closer the two of you become the harder it is for you to juggle Sorority life and Choso and Yuji— it’s almost as if you are living a double life. Truthfully you are, in a way as you are always sneaking off. Choso wonders what lies you tell your sorority sisters to be gone most weeknight evenings and weekend mornings. The lies of ‘labs' or ‘volunteer work’ wouldn’t likely cut it much longer. When you’re not around, Choso reasons he should probably cut things off with you before the inevitable fall out happens. But he always reconsiders when Yuji kept consistently inquiring as to where his ‘pretty lady girlfriend is’.  

Choso doesn’t have the heart to tell Yuji you aren’t his girlfriend yet. 

Plug!Choso who starts inviting you to Yuji’s little league games on weekends once Yuji expresses with abundant enthusiasm he wants you to see him play! The little guy, who is not so little for his age, is actually pretty athletic. Adorably every home run he hits he always makes sure to wave to you and Choso in the stands. Grinning widely Yuji blushes at your praise and cheering for him, which makes you just want to cheer harder. Your high school cheerleading experience finally coming in handy again. You go so often that sometimes other parents mistake the two of you for Yuji’s mom and dad. You always hastily respond “I’m just a family friend!”

A family friend. Not Choso's girlfriend. 

Plug!Choso whose jaw clenches whenever this happens— not that you ever notice. What the fuck were you doing if you weren’t dating? Yet Choso knew he couldn’t be completely mad at you as even after 3 months he still hadn’t technically asked you to be his girlfriend. Still that fact angers Choso too as he knows he hasn’t because he fears— no he knows— you wouldn’t say yes. Choso picks you up and drops you off blocks away from campus. You also managed to deflect every suggestion for going out on an actual date night on the town when Yuji is over his friend's Megumi or Nobara houses. Also you sure as shit don’t invite him to the many greek life parties you attend (not that he even wanted to go— I mean he would for you. If you'd ask him). Hell, you don’t even follow him back on IG and he knows better than to like or comment on anything other than your stories which goes straight to your DMs. 

Plug!Choso knows you have a reputation to protect and how it would look for the tall n’ scary pierced n' tatted emo drug dealer to be the one by your side. Choso eventually resigns himself to live in the shadows of your life for now. Choso would just have to work harder to pay off the house so he could stop dealing and be someone you’d want to show off (even if deep down he feels he will never be good enough).

However this all comes to a boil a few weeks later the morning of the championship game for Yuji’s little league. As their star player Yuji was so excited to be in his first championship and made you pinky promise you would come. 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, kiddo!” You lovingly beamed at him. 

But you lied.

You did miss it. 

Finals and the sorority election week had come up fast out of nowhere and hit you like a whirlwind. As a result you saw little of Choso and Yuji in the days leading up to it. Yet at the end of the week you emerged victorious, both in keeping up your 3.8 GPA and winning the election for sorority president. You were so ecstatic on both accounts that you partied hard the night before Yuji’s big game.

Coincidentally forgetting about it entirely as the next morning was the Annual Greek Council Brunch event to officially inaugurate all new Greek council members across all sororities and frats. As newly elected president and since your sorority was hosting this year it was your job to throw it. It was a huge event that even parents and chapter alumni attended. 

Plug!Choso who smoked 3 cigarettes as he waited for you for nearly 40 minutes before he knew he had to leave soon or he’d miss the start of the game too. Deciding to drive by your sorority as a last ditch effort Choso sees red when he spies you on the lawn giggling and flirting with the campus caterers as you direct them to the back of the house. You looked gorgeous, all dolled up, hair done and make-up flawless. The dress you wear looks expensive, something he might even be able to afford to buy you if he wasn’t making triple mortgage payments each month to cut the interest and pay off his home faster. However, he can't deny the baby blue checkered fabric looks great on you. A fact Choso notices the caterer douchebags didn’t miss either as they fall a few steps behind you to check out your plump ass and rib at each other.

Plug!Choso who knows the reasonable thing to do would be to just drive away and avoid any conflict. Although before his mind registers it his body is already flicking his cigarette butt out of the open car door before slamming it shut as he storms across the lawn of your sorority house. Reaching the back of the house Choso was taken back by how grand everything looked. A sea of pristine white tables adorned with arrays of bouquets, fine china and crystal glasses that sparkled divinely in the morning sun. The event was still in setup mode so more flowers, decorations and adornments were being brought in by the second by workers brushing past Choso like he wasn't even there.

In any other scenario a grand display of refinery such as this would have Choso feeling self-conscious and out of place. He is aware as good as anyone else how sorely his dark looks contrast with the peppy and airy vibes of greek life.

However, all that flees out of his mind as soon as he sees you near the DJ booth—now having the nerve to shamelessly flirt with him too. 

“Yo, princess.”

Plug!Choso who seems casual from his tone but the look on his face is anything but. You on the other hand looked as if you had seen a ghost as all the color drains from your face. 

“Choso!”

You squeaked out a greeting as your head whips around to see who all was around.

Phew! Thankfully it was mostly staff and the greek members who were helping with setup were still inside.

But what the fuck was Choso even doing here?

You started to get pissed as he knew better than to roll up on you like this and today of all days!? 

“Come on, let’s go, we're gonna be late.”

He grabs your arm which you quickly snatch back from him giving him an incredulous look as if he just sprouted two more heads.

“What the fuck Choso, you can’t just barge in here like this! Have you lost your mind?! What are you even doing here?!” 

You try to keep your voice hushed as you pull him to the side of the DJ booth trying not to draw attention. 

“Nah princess, the question is what the fuck are you doing here?”

Irritation was dripping from Choso’s words who clearly didn’t give a single fuck about how loud he was being or the boundaries you’d set around your school life and it made your blood boil. He knew this was a busy week for you and you wouldn’t be around as much, he couldn’t wait a few more days!?

What right did he have to be here right now?

Let alone be this upset with you? 

You roll your eyes as you scoff. 

“Well as I am the newly elected president of this sorority it's my job to throw this brunch! I’ve had a really long stressful week and this is a really big event for me. My first event even! I have so much–”

“—Fuck! Are you really this clueless?!”

Choso angrily snaps at you and you are visibly startled into silence as his interruption immediately shuts you up.

He’s towering over you now and you’ve never realized before just how much bigger than you he was. His personality was usually so chill and unassuming that it shrunk his overall presence.

Come to think of it you’ve never even seen him angry before, annoyed sure, but he was clearly mad mad now.

“I– Me– My— Goddamn it, do you really think of no one but yourself?!”

The DJ, who had been overhearing your conversation tries to butt-in to white knight for you but is quickly told off by Choso who tells him ‘walk the fuck on while he still had legs that could walk’. The advice which was expeditiously taken as the DJ quickly left the conversation just as fast as he’d entered it.

“Choso– what the—”

Choso doesn’t let you finish, cutting you off again.

Fed up with this, you and whatever twisted situationship you currently had— he needed to say his piece. 

“—I’ve been waiting for you for almost an hour, princess. Does your self absorbed lil’ brain even remember why?”

Your own anger is quickly dissipating into confusion as you cannot fathom what in the hell Choso was even talking about. It takes you a few good moments but your eyes widen once you realize.

Oh shit…

“Umm…Y-Yuji’s big game, isn’t today– is it?”

You meekly asked but you already knew the answer. 

“Bingo, princess! You’d promised him you’d be there. Do you know how much he’s been looking forward to this? It’s all he’s been talking about. Do you know how crushed he’s going to be if you aren’t there?!”

Shit! Shit! Shit!

You knew balancing seeing Choso and Yuji with your increasingly demanding school life was starting to get more challenging but you didn’t realize you’d fuck up this badly.

You really didn’t want to disappoint Yuji, who at this point felt like your own little brother that you never had —but you’d be prepping for this sorority presidency nearly your entire life! 

Your parents were even coming to this! 

Shit, which reminds you Choso cannot be here when they show up. 

Plug!Choso who knows he’ll have to speed now when he leaves if he wants to make the first pitch of Yuji’s game and makes one last ditch effort to get you to attend, but of course it fails.

“Choso, I– I can’t. I want to... but you know how important this is to me. My family. They will be here soon too I—”

Choso tunes out the rest of your excuses as your mention of ‘my family’ had cut unintentionally deep.

You’d gotten so close to him and Yuji that you did feel like ‘their family’. But you weren’t and it was the foolish hope that you could one day become that Choso selfishly indulged in.

He could deal with the hurt, he was used to life shitting on him but it wasn’t fair to Yuji. 

“There he is! That’s him!”

The pussy ass DJ had gone and gotten back up as a group of frat guys in suits rushed over. The commotion was also drawing a few of your sorority sisters and you curse under your breath as a small crowd forms and all eyes draw to you.

“It’s okay guys, he’s clearly lost and is leaving now, right?”

Your voice is bitchy but your eyes are pleading with Choso.

You're pleading with Choso: Not to ruin the event.

Not to be angry with you.

And not to make this situation any worse than what it was. 

“Wait— this guy? He’s that burnout dealer, yeah?”

One of the frat guys chime-in and there's laughter and giggles around.

“Oh my god, it is! He's like so obsessed with her. I always see him creeping around.”

One of your sisters adds with a sneer.

“Not a stalker! Ew!” 

Another one adds.

“What does this weirdo even want with you!?”

More of your sisters chime in.

Choso doesn’t care though.

He only cares what you think. What you’re going to say.

Your phone dings and you look at it. Shit. Your parent’s just arrived on campus.

You didn’t want to do it this way but you had to end this now.

It was better this way. That’s what you would console yourself with later at least.

“Look—Choso was it? This is a private event and you need to leave.”

You turn to your sisters to explain further. “I tutor his little brother for my volunteer work and he somehow got the crazy idea that I was going to go to some little baseball game with them or whatever.”

You turn back to Choso.

“Well— as you can clearly see. I can’t go. I’m busy and like I said this is a private event so again, you need to leave, understood?”

You turn away not being able to stomach the look on his face like a coward and make up some excuse about checking on the ice sculpture which should have been already placed on one of the center banquet tables. 

You know he’s left from the jeers of ‘bye loser!’ ‘fuck outta here freak!’ echo out from the garden. 

This was for the best after all….

….right? PART 2

⋙ ©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.

⋙ lol y/n is a huge bih who doesn't deserve our sweet baby. no worries though she is gonna learn her lesson good in part 2 where she finds out shit ain't so sweet lmfao. lmk if you wanna be tagged in comments/reblogs. eta— omg there were so many errors lmfao see this is what happens when i dont re-read my shit 50x before posting lol. i fixed it! sorry to anyone who read it before lol. ⋙ reblog to smoke on choso's joint but comments and likes are appreciated!

[d-z20]

The Agent Next Door (NSFW)

Pairing: Agent Rio Vidal x Reader

Summary: You don't really talk to your (extremely attractive) neighbour, Rio Vidal, until one day an accident leads to you staying at her apartment for a couple of days. And an awkward encounter results in having your fantasy come true. -OR- Rio finds you injured after you slipped and fell out the shower and decides to look after you (non-magic AU)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, blood, small injury, fluff, smut, fingering (R receiving), oral (R receiving)

Words: 3.4k

A/N: Just wanted to write a bit of Rio caring for reader and well then it turned into smut and I have no regrets. Also I have their whole relationship arc in my head now lol

AO3 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Master List

The Worst Morning Of Your Life (so far)

Rio Vidal is your neighbour. You've noticed her plenty of times before—a striking woman with a sharp, confident look that's hard to ignore. You live in the same apartment building, just across the hall from one another. Most days, your interactions are limited to polite smiles and brief chats in the elevator, her dark suit and badge often catching your eye. You've heard her phone buzz with work calls that end with her curt, professional voice. It's obvious she's someone important—serious and dedicated. You've pieced together that she's an FBI agent, but beyond that, you don't know much about her.

You can't deny that you're drawn to her, though. There's something about the way she carries herself—all self-assured and enigmatic. You've caught yourself staring a few times, your heart skipping a beat when she looks back and flashes a rare, amused smile. It's not just her looks—it's the way she moves, the air of mystery she carries, like she's seen things you could only imagine. It makes you nervous, but at the same time, you can't help but look forward to those fleeting moments when your paths cross.

One morning, your shower decides to betray you—your hot water cuts out just as you put your head under. You let out a bloodcurdling scream, quickly trying to jump out of the shower. Unfortunately for you, your foot slips on the hard floor, and you come crashing down, hitting your head on the sink, landing with a very loud thud. Dazed and confused, you are unsure if you passed out for a second there or not, but either way your head is killing you. 

"Fucking brilliant," you mutter to yourself, draping an arm across your eyes to shield them from the light.

At that moment, you heard your front door slamming open and hurried footsteps searching your apartment. You had just about enough sense to yank your towel off the hook and cover up your naked body.

"Y/N?" called a voice just outside the bathroom door.

Shit. It was Rio. You wished the ground would just swallow you up.

"Are you okay? I heard you scream, and then I heard something shatter." You could hear the genuine concern in her voice.

Lifting your head slightly, you noticed the shards of glass from what used to be your bathroom shelf, surrounding you. All you could do was let out a groan and close your eyes at this new development of what was turning out to be the worst morning of your life so far.

This was a bad choice, as a split second later, Rio barged into your bathroom.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" Your neighbour teased, but you could hear the relief in her voice. She moved further into the room, assessing the damage. "Not to ruin such a perfect morning for you, but I might have broken your door getting in here." 

You open your eyes, blinking up at her. Taking her in, you noticed she was wearing a cropped baggy tank top and gym shorts. You blink up at her again, and your head throbs with each beat of your pulse, the pain radiating down your neck. You're still dazed, trying to process how you ended up sprawled on the cold bathroom floor with your FBI agent neighbour standing over you. Rio's sharp eyes take in your silence, concern clouding the playful smirk she'd worn just moments before.

"Hey," she says, voice softer now, as she crouches down beside you. She reaches out, fingertips gently brushing your cheek to turn your face towards her. "Y/N, can you hear me? Do you know who I am?"

You swallow, trying to focus. Her touch is surprisingly tender, a stark contrast to her usual no-nonsense demeanour. You nod slightly, the movement making your head spin. "Rio," you manage to croak out. "Neighbour, FBI agent. And, apparently, a door kicker."

She huffs a laugh, a brief flicker of relief crossing her face. "Good. That's a start. I don't usually make a habit of barging into people's bathrooms uninvited, but I heard that scream, and... well, I'm glad I did." Her eyes drop down to your arm, where blood seeps from a jagged cut. She curses under her breath, her grip on your shoulder tightening just slightly. "You're bleeding. We need to get you cleaned up."

You glance down at your arm, wincing at the sight of blood trickling down to your hand. "I really know how to make an impression, huh?"

Rio shakes her head, lips pressed together in a tight line. "Let's save the jokes until you're not covered in glass, yeah?" Without another word, she slips an arm under your shoulders, helping you sit up. The world tilts slightly, but her hold on you is firm, steadying you as you get your bearings.

"You're going to have to trust me for a minute," she tells you softly. "Can you stand?"

"Maybe," you say, though you're not entirely sure. She helps you up, careful not to jostle your injured arm, and you try to ignore the heat of her skin against yours, the way her fingers dig into your side just enough to ground you.

Rio's eyes dart around the room, quickly assessing the mess of broken glass and water pooling on the floor. "Alright," she says decisively. "I'm taking you back to my place. We'll patch you up there. Your shower is out of commission, and I don't trust that you won't take another tumble if I leave you alone here."

You don't have the energy to argue, so you just nod, letting her guide you out of the bathroom. The two of you make it to the hallway, but not before she grabs a spare towel and wraps it around you more securely. Her movements are quick and efficient, but there's a gentleness to them that surprises you. It's a side of Rio you've never seen before—one that's patient and caring, not just the tough, sarcastic woman you've exchanged pleasantries with in passing.

As you step into her apartment, you notice it's much more personal than you'd imagined. There are framed photos on the walls—nothing too sentimental, mostly candid shots of places she's travelled to, city skylines, and sunsets. Her living room is cosy, with a worn leather couch and a small stack of books piled on the coffee table.

"Sit," she instructs, pointing to the couch. You sink down into it, feeling strangely out of place but oddly comfortable. Rio disappears into the bathroom for a moment, returning with a first aid kit. She kneels in front of you, carefully prying your hand away from your arm.

"This is going to sting," she warns, pulling out an antiseptic wipe. You flinch as she cleans the cut, her brows knitting together in concentration. "Sorry," she mutters. "I'm used to dealing with criminals and suspects, not clumsy neighbours."

"Criminals don't trip in the shower much?" you quip, trying for humour despite the pain. It earns you a small smile from Rio, her eyes flicking up to meet yours.

"Not usually, no. Though I'll admit you're far more entertaining." Her voice softens again, the smirk fading as she wraps a bandage around your arm. "You scared me for a second there, you know."

The confession catches you off guard. "I did? you ask, watching her face as she finishes tying off the bandage.

She doesn't look up, her focus still on your arm. "Yeah," she says quietly. "I thought something bad had happened. Guess I care more about my neighbour than I realised."

Your heart skips a beat, the words hanging in the air between you. It's the first real admission of anything beyond casual friendliness, and it leaves you breathless. You're about to say something—anything—but Rio stands up, offering her hand to you.

"Come on," she says. "Let's get you some proper clothes and maybe a coffee. You can stay here until we sort out your door and shower."

Rio's grip on your hand is firm as she helps you up, her expression still hovering somewhere between concern and her usual, dry amusement. You follow her into the kitchen, and she releases you, motioning for you to sit at the table. It feels strange being here, in her space, especially after the chaos of your morning. She pulls out a chair for you with a slight roll of her eyes, as if it's absurd that you'd even try to resist her instruction.

"I don't have any shifts for the next two days," she announces, moving towards the coffee maker without glancing back at you. "And considering you might've blacked out for a second back there, I'm not letting you out of my sight. So, you're staying with me, here, until you're back on your feet properly."

You open your mouth to argue, but the look she throws over her shoulder silences you. It's one part worry and two parts something else—something softer, almost protective.

"I can manage," you say, but your voice lacks conviction, especially as you rub your throbbing arm. The bandage is already starting to bleed through a bit. Rio's eyes narrow at the sight, and she steps closer, prodding your arm gently.

"Yeah, you're doing a great job," she says dryly, then nods to herself. "You're staying here."

"Fine," you sigh, though part of you feels a flutter of something—relief, maybe, or the thrill of being looked after by someone like Rio. "But I can sleep on the couch. I don't want to kick you out of your bed."

Rio's lips twitch into a smirk. "I'm not letting you take the couch. You've already proven that you're a danger to yourself in any situation that involves standing up."

You can't help but laugh, despite everything. "So, what, we share your bed?"

She raises an eyebrow, as if daring you to challenge her. "It's a queen size. I think we can manage. Unless you've suddenly developed a fear of co-sleeping?"

The thought of sharing a bed with her sends a rush of heat through you, but you try to play it off with a shrug. "As long as you don't hog the covers."

"I'll do my best," she says, the smirk widening.

-

The first night is awkward, as expected. You lie stiffly on one side of the bed, while Rio takes the other, the space between you feeling like a chasm despite the closeness. She's warm though, and you can feel the heat radiating from her body and the subtle scent of her shampoo filling your senses. It's both comforting and maddening, making it hard to fall asleep. You’re hyper-aware of every shift she makes, every time her arm brushes against yours. At some point, she turns onto her side, facing you, and you feel her eyes on you in the dark.

"You still awake?" she whispers.

"Yeah," you reply, swallowing hard.

There's a pause, then you feel her hand brush against yours. It's light, almost as if by accident, but when you don't pull away, she leaves it there, her fingers barely touching yours.

"Try to get some sleep," she murmurs. "You need to rest."

"Alright," you say, voice hoarse, and somehow, with her so close, you finally drift off.

Over the next day and a half, the tension between you shifts, It's subtle at first—small, lingering glances from Rio that last a bit too long, the brush of her fingers against your back when she helps you into the kitchen. Her sarcasm returns, but there's a flirtatious edge to it now, like she's testing the waters.

"You're really milking this injury, aren't you?" She teases, handing you your drink to have with the pizza she bought for dinner. "You'd think you broke your entire body, the way you're lounging around."

"Hey," you protest, setting the drink down. "You're the one who insisted I stay. Don't blame me for enjoying the hospitality."

She leans against the counter, arms crossed, a grin tugging at her lips. "Oh, I'm well aware. But don't get too comfortable with me waiting on you hand and foot—I've got to go back to work tomorrow.”

-

That night, the atmosphere between you shifts even more. When you climb into bed besides Rio, there's no hesitation this time. She turns towards you almost immediately, her hand resting lightly on your hip as if it's the most natural thing in the world. You can feel the heat of her body through the thin fabric of your shirt, her breath warm against the back of your neck. It's a small touch, nothing too bold, but it feels significant—an unspoken acknowledgement of everything simmering between you two. You fall asleep like that, closer than before, your fingers unconsciously brushing hers under the covers.

When you wake up, she's already dressed for the day, leaning over you with a mug of coffee in hand. She sets it down on the nightstand with a playful smile. "Morning sweetheart," she says, her voice laced with that familiar teasing tone, but there's a softness to it now. "Try not to do anything risky while I'm gone, yeah? I don't want to come back to find you've taken a tumble without me here to save the day."

You laugh, reaching for the coffee, but there's a flutter in your chest at the pet name, even if she means it jokingly. "I'll do my best," you say. "But no promises."

She smirks, leaning down just enough to press a light kiss to your forehead. "Good. I'll be back later. Make yourself at home."

You do. The rest of the day passes in a strangely pleasant haze, and you find yourself enjoying the small comforts of her apartment. It's quiet without her, but there's a sense of ease you haven't felt in a long time, like you truly belong here. You find yourself smiling for no reason, touching the small trinkets on her shelves, running your fingers over the soft throw blankets she has draped across the couch.

By the time you decide to take a shower, you're feeling entirely too content. You strip down, stepping under the hot spray with a sigh. That's when your thoughts drift back to Rio—how she looked last night, half-asleep and tousled, her arm draped over your waist, her expression unguarded in a way you'd never seen before.

Your thoughts turn to fantasy almost unbidden. You imagine her joining you in the shower, pressing you back against the cold tiles, her hands sliding down your wet skin. You can almost feel it—the heat of her breath on your neck, the firmness of her body against yours. You start to move your hand towards your aching clit, letting out a quiet, shuddering moan, lost in the fantasy of what it would be like to kiss her and have her hands on you.

You don't hear the bathroom door open, but suddenly, you hear her voice—low and amused. "You sure you're okay in here? Didn't have another fall, did you?"

You freeze, eyes snapping open. You can barely see her through the steam, but she's there, standing just outside the shower curtain, and you realise with a jolt that she must have heard you. You heart slams against your ribs as the curtain slides back just a little, and Rio steps inside completely naked, her smirk evident even through the haze.

"I really just can't trust you not to injure yourself while showering, can I?" she says, voice teasing but thick with something else—desire, maybe. Her eyes travel down your body, lingering in a way that sends a shiver through you.

"Rio," you breathe out, half a warning, half a plea.

She steps closer, crowding you against the wall, her hand sliding up to cup the back of your neck. "You know," she murmurs, her lips so close to yours now that you can feel the brush of them with every word. "I think you've been waiting for me to do this."

And then she kisses you, slow and heated, like she's been thinking about this just as much as you have. Her mouth is soft but insistent, coaxing a response from you until you melt into her, hands tangling in her hair as you kiss her back just as eagerly. The steam from the shower mixes with the heat between you, the world narrowing down to just the two of you.

When she finally pulls back, both of you are breathing hard, her forehead resting against yours. "I knew it," she whispers, her voice laced with satisfaction. "You've been wanting this so badly, haven't you?"

You nod, swallowing thickly. "Yeah," you admit, barely louder than a whisper. "I have."

She grins, tugging you closer until you're pressed against her, chest to chest. "Good," she says, leaning in to kiss you again, deeper this time. "Because I've been wanting it too."

And with that, she shoves you against the wall. Hard. She's kissing you all over, igniting the skin where each one lands. She nips and sucks at your neck, finding where you're most sensitive. A moan escapes your lips, and you buck your hips, trying to get any kind of friction against your core. For a brief moment, you start to get embarrassed, but then one of Rio's hands finds its way between your legs. She dips a finger between your lips and hums at how wet you already are for her.

Looking directly into your eyes, silently telling you to keep her gaze, she lowers herself to suck on one of your tits, tongue swirling around your nipple, making it harden quickly. The hand not on your clit, starts to pinch your other nipple, pulling another loud guttural moan from you. 

Working her mouth down your torso, marking up your body as she goes, Rio sinks to her knees, her face now directly opposite your dripping cunt, eyes still locked on yours.

Her hands deftly grip your hips, steadying you against the wall. "You've got to promise me you're not going to fall again, sweetheart," she all but growls, the arousal evident in her voice.

You nod your head, but it wasn't enough for the woman, who digs her nails into your skin where she's holding you. "Ye-Yes. I promise."

That is all Rio needs before she starts to drag her tongue through your folds. Switching between broad licks along the length between your entrance and your clit, and firmer, more purposeful circles over your bundle of nerves.

You feel dizzy, but you know it has nothing to do with your concussion and everything to do with the woman kneeling between your legs. Despite your head spinning, you manage to bring your hands down to tangle in Rio's hair, pushing her harder into you. You need more.

She moans against you, clearly enjoying how turned on you are. The vibration from the moan goes straight to your core, and you nearly cum just from that. Sensing you're close, Rio pushes two fingers inside you, causing you to curse her name inbetween moans.

You feel her chuckle and then start fucking you more vigorously. "I want to hear you, baby. I want the whole floor to hear you moan my name," she says, momentarily pulling away from your pussy. You can't help but oblige as she starts to curl her fingers, resuming her licking and sucking.

With her fingers curling inside you like that, it isn't long before you climax, legs shaking, cumminng hard over her fingers and tongue. Rio helps you through the end of your orgasm, making sure to hold you up as you come back down. 

"Okay, darling, I think we need to sit you down before you lose another fight with gravity," Rio smirks. You can't help but agree; your knees feel very weak and it's taking all of your concentration to stay upright.

"Oh, by the way, I bumped into the maintenance guys on my way in," Rio says lightly, helping you out of the shower. "And they said that your door isn't getting fixed for at least another week. So, it looks like you'll have me to help you shower for a little while longer." Winking, she drags you to her bed, determined to continue what she had just started.

_

alright folks, I've got a sequel in the works but can't decide on the vibes (there'll be smut regardless): READ PART 2 HERE

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩, 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 || 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠!𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

part one: stop, you’re losing me || part two: in the trees, in the breeze

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ Coriolanus Snow had once a sweet girlfriend that helped him in his darkest days. Until he betrayed her and on the post-Hunger Games celebration, he gave her all the reasons to leave him. Not without causing her a breakdown that makes him regret everything.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ capitol ballerina!reader, soft!Coryo at the beginning, slight canon divergence, manipulation, sex implied, violence, reader has a mental breakdown that ends in tragedy, if you don’t want to read about mental health, beware!!!!!!

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞_ I had to split this into two parts. Next part will be slowburn, early politician!Coryo realising he married a half rebel woman and many many dramaaaa. Songs for this: Stop, you’re losing me and tírate lol.

♪ ♫ awful Coriolanus Snow playlist ✰ Index (+ fics here)

__________________________________________________________________________

It wasn’t possible. But Coriolanus could swear that even days after, the smell of fresh paint was still lingering on the air of his penthouse. Maybe because the smell was actually gone since a week ago, but he refused to let go the memory of you and your face with splotches of paint.

On a bright winter morning, you appeared early with buckets of paint. Tigris insisted that none of the Snows could accept the offer, saying it was too much. The walls were full of humidity, paint falling by itself. You could see the sadness on Grandma’am, Coriolanus and his grandmother were very patriotic, the old woman would frequently miss the days before the war, where the penthouse was bright and full of life.

Through a peaceful argument, as Tigris insisted on not taking the buckets of paint, you had already opened one and with a big brush, you splashed a wall from the entrance. The new color was shiny on top of the old layer, and it brought a giant smile to the elder woman.

Coriolanus had so much fun, thinking his girlfriend was the best and spent the day together, listening to the old radio as both of you painted the whole place.

Now, the apartment was still a mess, but the bright olive-green walls made it better.

It had been a thing of destiny that you appeared on the second year of the Academy. You were a loner, always choosing to work on your own for projects. During lunch, you only had two girlfriends, and Coriolanus was able to see that you laughed so hard every time you were with them. He also learned you had a dark humor, making fun of everyone. Like the school staff, Arachne Crane, other classmates, even the president. He grew curious of you. And one random day, after only you and Coriolanus where the only people missing a partner for a science project, a teacher matched you two.

Some months later, you discovered about his financial situation. And Coriolanus had been so scared, thinking you would share the secret and ruin his life. But the next morning, you handed him half of your lunch, knowing he was starving, because at the time, the Academy didn’t offered lunch yet.

The act made Coriolanus Snow realize he could trust you. You met his cousin and grandmother, bringing a giant box full of pastries as a present for them.

Tigris was at the verge of tears and immediately thought you were the one for her little cousin.

Soon it became real. After you turned seventeen, he asked if you wanted to be his girlfriend. Now, time had slowly passed, moving you two into a different season.

“CORYO! IT’S ABOUT TO START! HURRY UP!” Tigris shouted from the kitchen. He sighed, only to end up coughing.

“ALMOST DONE!” He shouted back. His wet hair making him shiver, rapidly wandering across his room to find his body lotion. Eucalyptus. Coriolanus used to hate the smell of eucalyptus. But he started liking the odor since you had a candle made of it in your room. A little after, you gifted him a lotion and perfume of eucalyptus.

Only that Coriolanus couldn’t smell since his nose was congested. He caught a flu, and while he was feeling better, he was still struggling to inhale and breathe properly.

“IF YOU ARE NOT HERE IN THE FOLLOWING FIVE MINUTES, I’M COMING TO GET YOU!” Coriolanus giggled at his cousin threatening him. After putting on a warm sweater and some dressing pants, he came out of his room.

His family was already gathered in the living room, with the tv on. He turned to the dining table, looking at the bouquet of white and red roses, he smiled, hoping you would be happy to see them. Spring was around the corner, the firsts flowers from his grandmother’s top garden had bloomed. At the same time, your first-year anniversary with the young Snow was coming.

The annual gala of arts had existed since the first days of Panem. With music, sculpture, paint, drama and dance performances. It used to be private, then the war happened, and it was suspended. And now, it had been five years since it started to be a show anyone with a tv could see.

Your father was the owner of production establishments of Panem, who happened to have married a famous dancer, also owner of the biggest dance company in the Capitol. No clue how you turned out to be a wonderful sight on stage.

And that’s why Coriolanus was expected to come and see the tv. You were about to perform in the gala.

“Who’s out now?” He asked, sitting beside Tigris.

Grandma’am was crocheting something pink and the whole place was cold as the North Pole.

“A girl from District 1.” Before meeting you, Coriolanus had less than the slight knowledge on dance styles. He just knew it was mostly for women, with exorbitant gowns and shoes that seemed pretty. However, the girl on the screen was dancing with bare feet, along a man.

Some weeks after Coriolanus accepted he had feelings for you, he questioned if it was a good idea to join your mother’s dance company so that you would fall easily for him. It wasn’t necessary because you liked him as soon as he made you smile and laugh.

“Oh Coryo! She’s next!” Tigris said, taking his hand while looking nervously at the tv. Coriolanus always thought Tigris was a worrier most of the time, she always got so into her job, always thinking of what if. Seconds later, you appeared, immediately Grandma’am started to cheer and say out loud how beautiful you looked. Red and black dress with a ruffled tutu, your pink thighs and pointe shoes in a perfectly hidden ribbon. And a red flower with feathers and sequins in your head that had Tigris worried about. She made the headpiece for you. And she feared it would fall from your head. Coriolanus soothed her before coming back to smile like an idiot on the tv.

That was his girlfriend. He had literally pulled one of the most beautiful, if not the most perfect girl of Panem.

The music started and it was a delight for him. He always enjoyed classical music. And the one you danced along was a little faster and vivid than usual, making it impossible to keep any eye in any other place but you and your cocky smile.

Coriolanus knew you had an ego. And he loved to fuel it by saying how gorgeous you were all the time. So, he couldn’t wait for you to arrive on his door. Even when he pleaded you not to come, since he didn’t want to be a contagious asset for you. You hadn’t care, bringing some medicines, chicken broth soup and a lot of mint to help with his congestion the day before.

That’s why he felt even more empowered to keep going and win that prize. It was announced before the winter break and the holidays. He promised himself to win so he could become someone. Enough greater to make him worthy from having you. Because now at eighteen, he aspired to be in your life forever.

So, as you shined on that stage, spinning and standing on pointe, Coriolanus mentally repeated that he loved you. He said it occasionally to you, but most of the time he preferred saying it by holding your hand, kissing you and helping with your homework. Sometimes he wondered what true love was. If he was a capable of giving that to you. He wasn’t able to give you presents, only a tiny bouquet of flowers from his grandma’am. He couldn’t take you out on dates to fancy restaurants, not even offering you to stay for dinner in his place. Your dates where on his old rooftop, your bedroom or patio. Unlike you, who came every Friday after school with food for the family. You constantly gifted little things, like perfumes, a new shirt, anything to make his life easier.

His smile only grows bigger as your performance is about to be over. He admires the way your body is able to be so flexible and consistent. He had also seen the pain behind looking like an elegant feather. Some afternoons when he visited your room, you were tired, soaking your feet in warm water to soothe the ache.

But for now, he treasures the image of your smile as you make some reverence, ending your presentation.

“Oh dear… She was perfect!” Grandma’am said happily, with the round of applause on the tv in the background.

“And the headpiece survived the whole time!” Coriolanus rolled his eyes, smiling at his cousin.

As his family talked about your dress and the investments of your parents, the blonde boy returned to see the flower bouquet.

He really hoped you would love them, that you hadn’t turned bored of only receiving flowers from him.

One day, he would buy you expensive jewelry. He would give you the finest dinners and he would find the most beautiful house around the area for you. Only that way he would feel worthy of having you. Only that way he would find appropriate to call you his in all matters.

For now, he was just hanging there. Doing everything to win that prize. Giving you the least he had and shyly accepting all the things you provided him. That’s how he knew you truly loved him. You cared for his family and him. And Coriolanus swore nobody on earth would care that much for him like you.

Making it the main reason why he knew he had to rush it. He had to give you everything.

Not that you minded.

As you encouraged the family driver; Trevor, to take the route he considered most convenient to make it faster to your boyfriend’s place. You smile.

Oh, how you loved your boy.

You loved greeting him with a kiss on the lips followed by little pecks around. He giggled, probably believing you were so silly, but he would lean to kiss you so deeply again.

“We’re almost there, miss” you nod, looking through the window.

“Thank you, Trevor.”

“Should I wait or send Roger to pick you up late?” Roger was your father’s bodyguard. He was tasked to take care of you for his night shift sometimes. You liked Trevor better; he was a kind man of family. You had met his wife and beautiful daughters, sending them presents for their birthdays.

“Not sure yet. But you can go home and rest. It’s Friday and you need to be with your family, Trevor” he smiled, thinking how sweet you were. He cared a lot for you, almost like another daughter.

“Your mother won’t be happy. She was already irritated that you left the gala so early…”

“Don’t worry. I’ll figure it out” with that being said, he parked outside of the building. Trevor handed you some bags, full of food, wood and other things. Then your ballet bag. Ready to leave. The whole day, after leaving the Academy, you were only lounging to finish with the gala to went straight to your man’s arms.

“If anything, you call me. Alright?” You smile nodding at the man.

“Alright.” After a exchange of smiles, you wave him goodbye, and he disappears through the empty street.

It was a cloudy day, Lucky Flickerman said it was going to be a thunderstorm night at the Capitol. Gripping your coat tightly, you enter the building.

…

The door suddenly is open, and Coriolanus hears your voice calling from the entrance.

“Where’s everyone?” Tigris volts out from the living room, hurrying to greet you.

“But of course, we were watching you on the tv. Where else?” You laugh, hugging the young woman.

Then Grandma’am also joins to greet, saying you are gorgeous on stage.

“And where’s my boy?” You asked, wandering around. Coriolanus finally appears from the hallway with a smile. You could tell he had showered. His curls looked softer than ever.

He wants to laugh; you are still on thighs. With some black heels, and he can see a tutu under your coat.

Tigris and the elder woman decide to take the food to serve dinner, leaving you and your boyfriend alone. Both of you hear them saying how thankful they were to have food another week.

You open your arms, and he goes straight to hug you. Your hands cradle his face before standing on your tip toes to kiss him.

“How are you feeling?” He seemed to look and feel better. Apparently, the medicines worked.

“A lot better…”

“I missed you.” He also did. If his health hadn’t been compromised, he would’ve attended the gala with you.

“Me too. But you should have stayed home.” It had been a rough week at the Academy, the rehearsals for the gala, acting as a nurse for your sick boyfriend.

“We always spend Fridays together, silly.” He doesn’t deserve you.

“You were beautiful today. Although… you’re always perfect.” You blush, kissing his cheek before following him inside his penthouse.

The smell of mashed potatoes, the piece of ham you brought, and bread fill the place. It had been a little while since Coriolanus could only smell the boiled cabbage and hear his stomach painfully churning.

When you enter the room, you see the big bouquet of roses. You turn to see Coriolanus in disbelief, smiling.

“I hope you like them” the jar is old, but it looks amazing with the perfectly accommodated flowers. Your fingers gently grasp the soft petals. You are so in love with him.

“I will never get tired of this. I love them!” You turn around and Coriolanus sees your face full of adoration. You literally jump to kiss him. Always being received by the passionate yet slow and delicate of his kisses. One hand gently on your neck while the other rested on your cheek. Some strands of his blonde curls brushing against your forehead as your heels make it slightly even when it comes to height.

“Look at them. My future president of Panem and his First Lady.” Tigris giggles at her grandmother, but smiles deeply, happy to see her little cousin in love. And extremely thankful that he found a warm and generous woman like you to have in his life. Because in her head, Coriolanus deserved better.

“Let’s just pray that they graduate for now, Grandma’am.” She adds grabbing the old porcelain plates they have to serve the food.

And it’s a thunder what startles you, squirming away from your boyfriend. He laughs, holding you closer again after seeing you got scared.

“It’s raining!” Tigris announces from the kitchen.

“Guess you’ll have to stay the night.” His cheeky smile makes you gently push him. Your mother was going to be mad. But Tigris would intervene and say it was okay.

It wasn’t the first time you stayed though.

…

There are at least six candles around the room. The temperature decreased significantly after dinner. The water you used to clean the dishes was almost freezing. And Coriolanus wanted to die out of embarrassment when you started heating water on the fireplace to take a shower.

You had said it was nothing and that you don’t mind. But still, he felt so wrong.

Now, he was seating against the head of his bed. Watching how you curated your swollen feet. You pinched some blisters with a needle that had carefully been burned with a match. And now, it was time to put some cream and finally wrap the area with bandages.

“Does it hurt a lot?” He asked.

“Not much. I’m used to it now” you replied without looking at him. Still concentrated on your feet.

“I’m sorry about the water.” You frown, finally turning to see him.

“Why do you keep apologizing?” He shrugs, slightly irritated.

“Because I wish I could give you more and I can’t.” he didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but he does. Your lips form a line, before crawling until you mere kneeling bedside him on the bed.

“I hate to see you doing things you don’t have the necessity to do so. I hate not being able to treat you like my girlfriend and more like friend. I want to give you the world and I can’t.”

“Coriolanus… Look at me.” You take his hand, and with the other, you are tracing invisible line on his chin with your thumb. He looks at you, eyes slightly watered, making your heart swell for him.

“Life could’ve been so different, I could’ve been in your position, and you in mine.” He closes his eyes, thinking about his terrible luck.

“You charmed me before I knew everything about you. You know it, right?” He nods, tilting his head just to feel more of your touch. In response, you are again grabbing his cheeks.

“You have to let me help you now. That’s what couples do. They help each other. One day you’ll be able to give me anything you want. But for now, I will give you anything just to not see you struggling. Nor your family” your forehead is brushing his, and he can only attempt to nod as you speak.

“And remember, my love. You already make me happy. I’m already proud of you.” He doesn’t cry, but he’s at the verge of. He just hides his face on your neck. And there’s a wet spot on your skin, but you don’t say anything, you just tighten your embrace of him, smiling as you kiss his hair.

“I love you.” He says and it surprises you. While you know he loves you, you are aware that he’s not used to say it very often.

“I love you too, Coryo.”

He promises himself that he will do everything in his will to chase power. To change his faith and give you what you deserve.

The thunderstorm was powerful enough to scare you once in a while. As you were playing cards with Coriolanus, he took your hand every time you got startled. Tigris said goodnight and suggested to keep the door unlocked. Making you blush and Coriolanus too.

“I’m bored.” You said, laying on your side, facing your boyfriend. He dropped his joint of card too, hand landing on your hip, caressing the skin.

“What do you want to do?” You notice the way he’s touching you. It’s slightly inappropriate and it makes you grin.

“You are already suggesting something” his eyes widened, embarrassment flooding him.

“I’m sorry” you chuckle, noticing how shy and insecure he could be.

“Don’t you want to?” It’s your next move what almost makes him choke. You move forward, taking a sit on his lap.

“Of course I want to. Just not here.” You roll your eyes, hands massaging his shoulders, making him groan in delight. Your cream nightgown had lifted, showing him your bare legs. The long sleeve felt so soft against his hands.

“As long as you’re with me, I don’t mind where we’re doing it.” He’s unsure, but he can feel himself getting hard. Finally, after months of having only the company of his hand, he could claim you. He doesn’t love that it’s going to happen in his old bed, in his messed-up room. But you look so gorgeous with bare light from the candles. Now half naked showing him for the first time your naked body.

“Are you sure?” He asks one last time, feeling a string of saliva connected between your lips and his. It’s dirty, messy and extremely erotic to be the first time.

“Believe me, nothing wakes up Tigris and Grandma’am. We’re safe…”

“Alright. I trust you, Coryo.”

“Good. Now get on your back and spread those legs for me.” His possessive side would always surprise you. But you enjoyed it. And now, as the thunderstorm keeps going you let his possessive side dominate you.

“God, I love you.” You say as he makes you believe the rain falling outside were actually stars.

…

“Look at the tragic lovers, already in pose for a war memorial portrait”. You roll your eyes at Arachne. You hear Felix, Festus and even Clemmie laughing along other classmates. Coriolanus ignores her, taking your hand, reassuring you. The building was getting crowded. The Reaping was around the corner, but you were only praying for your boyfriend. Hoping to leave the place with the prize on his hands.

“Careful, Arachne. One day they might have a portrait in the parliament building” Clemensia says giggling.

“How? Because Coriolanus would be Panem’s president and y/n as First Lady? Allow me to laugh…” you can listen to her annoying voice. Something you always wished was a good friendship with your classmates. But it was difficult. Arachne was very competitive and judgmental; Festus was tedious along Felix. Persephone was extremely quiet; Livia was too naïve. Only Clemensia and Sejanus seemed to be genuine with you.

“Who knows?” Sejanus spoke from the other side of rows, walking to seat beside Arachne and your boyfriend. You smiled at him, and he reciprocated it. Coriolanus was too lost on his thoughts to pay attention to the little argument. Until Sejanus tilted his head to whisper something to him.

“There is no prize anymore.” The blonde turns to look at him in confusion. But the ceremony has officially started. He feels you taking his hand in disguise. And it’s the only reason why he feels less nervous.

Until Dean Highbottom reveals the sudden changes, which makes your heart pound faster. And without a warning, the listing of tributes begins. You look away when you see the little girl named Wovey being focused on camera, the sadness and uneasy churn in your stomach hitting you by the end of District 11 tributes.

And finally, the songbird is paired with Coriolanus.

He sees the way you frown, cringed by her singing. Even when she had a wonderful voice, it was unexpected and certainly odd for some. Then, he sees you cover your mouth in disbelief when she curses on the microphone. Coriolanus can’t tell, but he assumes it’s gonna be a little difficult to deal with that girl. Seeing zero chances to win.

Then he realised the tributes were mentioned. The Reaping had finished.

It’s over. Everyone has a tribute except for you. Dean Highbottom resumes the listing walking away, making you turn to see him, raising your hand immediately. Ready to ask questions.

“Put your hand down, Miss y/l/n. It’s not a mistake the order of the listing” you hear Dr. Gaul saying firmly. When you turn around, she’s there, offering a cold yet deep look with her unmatched eye irises.

Slowly, your hand goes down, laying on your lap, slightly shaking.

“Your parents have been generous enough to become official sponsors of the games.” Voices echo across the room, gossiping about the news. Even for you, this was a surprise.

Coriolanus looks at you but doesn’t say anything. He just wondered how much this would make your family richer.

“The mentors have to make their tributes a spectacle. But your task is to make all of the 10th Hunger Games a massive spectacle. Propaganda, production and strategy…” your face goes pale. But you dare to question it.

“Is this some type of punishment?” Gaul laughs, offering a genuine smile later, her hands together, like she was comfortable on her spot.

“Consider this your admission test. You won’t be fighting for the prize, but this would give you enough honors to automatically join the best branches of the Capitol’s University.” Quietly, you nod under the curious look of your classmates. The look of Arachne full of envy, Clemensia confused, Sejanus doubting. And your dear Coriolanus, he was happy to be honest. You could easily make his tribute look presentable so he could win. He would get the prize, get into university, become a political figure if not president and finally give you anything he couldn’t before.

But for now, the ceremony is over. You say goodbye to your friends, and you walk with Coriolanus, he takes your hand and together leave the place.

…

Your vision looks lost, but seemingly focused on the cracked floor. Coriolanus had been looking at you, he crossed his arms, but still nothing. Your heels were scattered, but you looked very comfortable at the edge of his bed.

“What’s on your mind, sweets?” You feel the cushions sinking beside you, his palm goes to rub your back, taking you back to reality.

“I don’t want the weight of all those upcoming deaths on me. On making it an entertainment…” rarely you spoke about the games or politics with your boyfriend. Mostly it was about university, future plans, music, and random pieces of your lives.

“It won’t be your fault, y/n. This will prove to everyone in the Capitol how worthy you are” he tries to soothe you.

“Still. While I do believe we deserve peace and to gain the respect the First Rebellion took from us, I do believe that putting some children to kill each other in the arena each year isn’t going to make a change” he sighed.

“That little girl…” he had seen the kid. But he grew indifferent to that, he was only focused on winning, and he was going to try to psyche you into the same.

“What terrifies you so much?” He asks, finally making you look at him in the eye.

“I have a bad feeling, Coryo. Like everything is gonna go down bad” you admit. You couldn’t tell if it was the change, your new task or Lucy Gray Baird. You were avoiding being judgmental, but as soon as you saw what she did with that snake, your initial thought was that she was a problem.

“None of that. You are making this Hunger Games unforgettable; I’m winning the prize. And that’s it, we will go to university together and make all those things we’ve talked about. That’s all that matters, y/n. Right?” It’s inevitable, you know it’s some sort of manipulation.

He does it with good intentions, but you don’t like it.

“I will give my best to make this whole thing memorable. I will try to make your songbird win. But none of this will wash away the guilt.”

Before the moment can get uncomfortable, Tigris enters the room. She smiles before standing against the little desk Coriolanus had.

“How was it? Tell me everything” she’s anxious to know everything, but for sure knows Coriolanus didn’t get the prize.

“We’ll give you the details in the table. But for now, I’m mentoring the tribute from District 12. y/n is in charge of the game's propaganda” her blonde brows furrow.

“The girl who singed?” Both of you nod. She sighs, crossing her arms.

“This isn’t what was supposed to happen…” Tigris adds. Again, you let yourself fall against the mattress, covering your face.

“Making the games’ an spectacle. What were they thinking?” Coriolanus exchanged looks with Tigris. She understood his look. Mentally telling him to give you some female soothing advice. She decided then to take seat too. You end up sandwiched between them.

It’s her hand brushing some hairs away your neck and face. Tigris had always treated you like family. And that’s why you felt more guilty. Because you wanted Coriolanus to win so badly, to help his family but you also thought about the tributes. About making their deaths some type of entertainment for everyone to watch.

“Sounds unfair. A lot of things from the Capitol are wrong.” You nod. When you see them, you are received by the cousins giving you soothing looks.

“I just want this to be over…”

“It’ll pass. Everything will go great. You’re smart and very talented. And we’ll help you in everything we can” you have to give her a little hug.

“And I’ll help my boy too. That girl is going to be a problem” Coriolanus rolls his eyes, thinking the same as you.

“See? Let’s just be optimistic.” Tigris stands up excitedly, later looking for something on her dress pocket.

“Tigris. I’m making dinner. Do not boil any more cabbage” you giggle, and Coriolanus has to smile, admitting to himself that just by seeing you happy he felt better.

“No. You don’t have to.”

“Please. Just let me go for some groceries.” She nods shyly. Then she pulls out some little bag from the pocket.

“Fine. But you are taking these from now on…” she throws the bag and dissapears. When you look inside the bag, you take out a box of pills. Immediately your cheeks turn red.

“Oh my god” you hand the box to the boy.

“Oh…” they’re birth control pills.

Soon both of you start laughing before you have to give him a kiss. Probably it was for the best because Coriolanus Snow never pulled out. And luckily you weren’t pregnant yet.

“I’ll get the groceries from Trevor” he nods, watching you walk away.

You briefly stop after seeing the picture on a frame. Of Coriolanus as a baby and his mother carrying him. Beside that picture, there’s one you hadn’t seen before. It’s you, from the gala of last year. You wore a red dress with pink ribbons and long gloves that matched the gown. You are smiling, not at the camera.

You were smiling at Coriolanus, who had insisted the photographer to take a picture of only you.

The feeling of happiness, bliss and peace hit you, making it impossible to leave your boyfriend’s room without a giant smile.

…

Speaking out loud had never been your thing. You sucked for speeches, debates. Well, only to prepare for them. Your hands would shake, and your face would turn red. But at the moment to step into the highlight, you were wonderful.

And it was noticeable.

“Here I am with the lovely y/n y/l/n, who’s in charge of directing the course of this games this year. Tell me y/n, was your idea to bring the tributes to the zoo?”

“No. To be honest, my directing journey officially starts as soon as the tributes are here. For now, I’m not doing anything… Yet.” Lucky Flickerman laughs.

“Well… I believe this is going to be a heated road. Don’t you think so? OH-, forget about her opinion, no one cares. THE TRIBUTES ARE HERE!” You turn behind to look. The vehicle opened its doors and the tributes fell. But you have to move away from the cameras after seeing a red uniform of the Academy. What the hell was Coriolanus doing there?

He doesn’t notice you yet. But you are able to see him talking with the girl. You see Lucy Gray Baird in person for the first time. She’s very pretty, short as you and her dress is very pretty. That’s not the problem though. You don’t like the way Coriolanus leans to whisper to her something, then he pulls the rose on his uniform and pins it behind her ear. Hearing Lucky Flickerman calling them, the couple holds hands, and they start answering questions.

It’s just for the views. It’s just to win that damn prize. Relax… You can trust him.

When Lucy Gray starts talking with a girl, Coriolanus spots you. You can’t decipher his look, but he knows for sure you aren’t pleased. Your hands making fists against the fabric on your wide dressing pants.

As soon as the cameras are gone, you go on a straight line towards him.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He drops the songbird’s hand, looking seriously taken aback.

“I told you I was meeting my tribute” Lucy Gray looks intrigued by your sudden appearance. Your moles, orange makeup, heavy golden earrings and perfectly painted lips. You’re perfect.

“This is embarrassing. What are my parents going to think? This could get you into trouble, Coriolanus” he sighs. Takes your hand through the giant cage but you whisk away, looking very angry.

“I’m sorry. This is just… too much.” He will talk to you later, he knows you’re head is spinning. Probably the rose and taking the songbird’s hand wasn’t a good idea.

“This is Lucy Gray…” he introduces the girl. And you finally acknowledge her. You give her a fake smile, just trying to look calm and be polite. She only stares.

“Nice to meet you. I’m sorry this is the way were meeting” she looks proud, like the fact that you look gorgeous, and she had just been thrown into an animal cage wasn’t humbling for her.

“Aren’t you in charge of making this a good show? Like putting us here like we were some kind of animals?” She must hate the Capitol. And it pisses you off the way she’s talking to you. A hostile tone in disguise.

“I’m only working for this to get more views and get into Univeristy. Where etiquette and manners are taught with much emphasis. But I’m not the one doing the rules” you respond colder, giving a little hint that Lucy Gray needed to be refined. After that, you proceed to ignore her again.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to get your back with Highbottom if anything happens” you whisper to the blonde, and before he can say anything you leave. You exchange some words with Flickerman and the camera production before leaving with them.

“Is that your girlfriend?” Lucy Gray asks. Coriolanus turns to see her.

“That’s my girlfriend.” His confirmation slightly surprised the girl. You seemed very… Capitol. Like the perfect match for him.

“She’s very pretty.” He wants to chuckle, but he only nods. In his mind, he wasn’t sure if Lucy gray meant it or if she was just trying to be sarcastic. Either way he doesn’t care much.

You’re perfect.

…

In your room, only the gentle morning breeze can be heard. You look at the balcony, looking at the mountains that surrounded the Capitol. It was summer, soon after fall began, the white would cover the city.

There’s a knock on your door and when you turn to see who it is, there is your mother.

“How did Coriolanus end up with the tributes?” You look away, already feeling ashamed.

“I don’t know, mother. He was supposed to meet the tribute at the train station. I don’t know how he ended up there…”

“It was a… messy entrance. But he seemed to have charmed the cameras on his favor. Don’t you think so?” Your mother liked your boyfriend, but sometimes she thought he had some secrets hidden, and that made you set some alarms. Probably because only, you knew about his financial problems.

“As it was expected. How do you think I felt when everyone knew he is my boyfriend? It was embarrassing.” She giggles, stepping inside of your room. Grabbing your perfectly ironed Academy uniform and accommodating the sleeves.

“I didn’t like the way he… forced that interaction with the girl.” You admit in a quiet tone.

“They were holding hands. He tucked his rose on her ear.” Your blood boils at the memory, making you groan in discontent.

“Yes.” You confirm to her.

“You’re jealous. And you shouldn’t be… Coriolanus loves you. Why would he even turn to look down at a dirty and disheveled girl from District 12? When he has you, a gorgeous and already successful young woman. Who’s capitol to his luck.” You smile. But the uncomfortable omen would have you spinning until the games were over.

“You can’t let any feelings get in the way of your task, my dear.” Says your father appearing at the door. You just stare at him.

“Let the boy play along the untidy girl for now. It will help to raise the views and create dubiety. You will complete your duty and that will make you memorable. As a daughter of mine and your mother we want you to exceed our accomplishments, this would be the first step. As soon as you make it, all the doors will be open for you. And the boy will be eating from the palm of your hand.” You know that’s not how it works, but he is right. As much as you wanted your boyfriend to win the games. You had to think on your own for the first time.

“You’re right.” Your dad smiles, only entering the room to leave a kiss on your head. Silently telling you how proud he is of you.

“Good. Now put some makeup and the uniform.” You nod at your mom, replying at her smile but feeling slightly empty on the inside.

…

Once again you have zoned out.

Coriolanus sees the way you are lost in your thoughts. As Dean Highbottom and Dr. Gaul are slightly debating after he was almost penalized for the zoo events, the gossip between the students doesn’t flush away easily.

You were quiet since that day. Same kisses, same smile, and same giggles. But the sudden lack of communication and sex was worrying Coriolanus.

Then Arachne died. Clemensia hadn’t been on class for some days. You weren’t around to see, but the news made you feel weird. Coriolanus was getting obsessed with the songbird, but that didn’t mean he was leaving aside… yet.

He had heard and seen how most of the student's made fun of you and your task for the Hunger Games. Saying that you had been put on that position for your parents. Very much like what everyone thought of Sejanus Plinth on daily basis. It made you feel anxious, that guilt only increasing. And unfortunately, Coriolanus hadn’t been around to soothe those fears.

“Are you sure you’re okay, y/n?” He asks once for all. You seem to hear him, but before you can answer him. Gaul had made everyone go quiet.

“Has a decision been made, Miss. y/l/n?” You raise your head, looking at the woman and slowly you nod, standing up.

“A decision has been made with the council of the games and the production team. The mentors and their tributes have to make a strategy, it’s obligatory. The mentors have to make detailed research on the district of their tribute. In two days, the research must be submitted so the tributes can be guaranteed an interview before the games. Only that way, the sponsors will come and by the end of the games, the mentors will be honored in the post-games' celebration.” The more you talked, the more the students seemed to hate you. Coriolanus can only think that you’re doing it because of rage, and he isn’t unsure if he likes it or not.

Dr. Gaul wants to laugh, believing you had shut everyone’s mouth. She can see a female enraged lover can react when cards are played against her. And she is savoring the way her Hunger Games are making everyone fight for their own good, not only the tributes.

When class is over, you don’t wait for Coriolanus. You just start grabbing your stuff and decide to leave.

He has to hurry so he can follow your pace. He calls your name once, but until his hand gently grabs your forearm, you stop.

“What is going on?” He asks, ignoring that both of you are in the middle of a hallway.

“About what?” There’s a lot to say, but you just can’t seem to be able to respond.

He sighs, and looking around, he drags you to an empty room. Open to public, but perfect for some minutes of privacy.

“You can talk to me…”

“I know… It’s just…” he inspects your face, looking at any details to try to understand you.

“Just what, sweets?”

“There’s too much going on at the same time. I’m just stressed out. I’m sorry for being distant, Coryo” you refuse to admit you’re jealous, that you are following your father’s advice, that you are sick of everything.

“It’ll be over in three more days or so. Then you know what departs for us…” you nod as he leans to close the distance, your foreheads touching. It was Coriolanus silent way of saying I love you and I’m here. So you take the moment to treasure it.

“Just one thing, Coryo…”

“Yes, dear?” He asks on your lips.

“If things get tricky… Are you going to fight for me if needed?” He smiles, your lips trembling against his chin.

“I would walk the whole territory of Panem just to get you, y/n” and with that, he kisses you so hard that it makes you remember why you choose him.

And why you would always choose him.

…

It’s late in the night and you opted to stay for late rehearsals. Your nails are a mess as you had anxiously been biting them. You see a burgundy spot on the right side of your pointe shoe. Your feet are bleeding. But that doesn’t compare to the waves of chills you had every day.

“AGAIN!” Your instructor yells. You are the opening act for the celebration. Every district would have a dance and some mentors would have an honorific mention. However, yours was a delicate piece of ballet. The music was beautiful, but it made you feel little, very vulnerable.

You try every single time, but your instructor kept saying that you needed to look sadder by the end.

“Miss y/n?…” your mother’s assistant came to the door of the studio, making you stop and your instructor to pause the music.

“Your mother has informed to me that there was a rebel bombing on the games’ arena earlier. The tributes were there with their mentors.” Your heart stops, remembering Coriolanus and his own task of taking the songbird there.

“Your partner, Mr. Snow… he was injured…”

Half an hour later, you’re entering the hospital. The wide room is empty. At the end of the bed’s row, you see Tigris and Sejanus. The young woman being the first to notice you.

“Y/N!” She hurries to hug you and offer her jacket since it was slightly cold. And you were once again in your ballet attire, pointe shoes still on.

“It’s okay. But… How is him?”

“Stable. Just his back was compromised” Sejanus reveals, making you smile sadly. Coriolanus is sleeping. His forehead looks sweaty, and you can only attempt to brush some of his curls.

“They said it was a rebel attack. The president’s son was heavily injured” you sigh.

“Felix?” Sejanus nods at you.

“This is where I side with the Capitol.”

“Exactly. This isn’t the solution” neither of you say out loud. But Sejanus was a rebel sympathizer, Tigris was only against the capitol but not with the rebels. And you were a neutral.

“I just hope this doesn’t come with long term injuries…” you finally add. Under the curious look of Tigris, she feels bad for you. Although she offered her help, there wasn’t much she could do. Only to design the attires for the upcoming celebration. But other than that, she could feel the stress on you.

Only worsening when Coriolanus woke up.

“Is Lucy Gray fine?” You act like it didn’t hurt you. And both Tigris and Sejanus pretend they didn’t see your sad face.

“She’s fine.”

“How do you feel?” You ask, and Coriolanus finally sees you.

“My shoulder and back hurt” the tv ends up disconcerting everyone. When you turn there is a video of you being played with the logo of the Capitol behind you. Coriolanus wants to smile, but he’s too unsure of what’s happening to say you looked adorable in a tulle skirt.

[Citizens of Panem, welcome back. We are less than 24 hours away from the start of the 10th Hunger Games. To make the wait less painful, we are about to explore about this year’s tributes. We’ll get to know them in this section. For the first time, we are about to see an exclusive series of interviews with our lovely host; Lucky Flickerman. Now, it’s turn of of the final district, which is District 12. Do not forget that anyone can be a sponsor. Enjoy the show!]

You ignore the looks. You weren’t proud of yourself for filming that type of promos. But that is quickly forgotten after Lucy Gray was introduced and she started singing again. You have to roll your eyes. You have to bite your tongue after seeing the way Coriolanus literally jumped out of the bed to see the songbird closely.

He seemed hypnotized by her. And without even processing there are tears forming on your eyes.

The end is coming. The end is coming. Get ready…

You try to ignore your head. But it’s like a prolonged free fall. Since the moment of the Reaping Ceremony, you knew it.

That bad omen was something you should’ve payed more attention to.

Now you let some tears fall as you see it. Tigris is also crying, and you have to admit how wonderful Lucy Gray Baird is. But it leads you to question.

How could Coriolanus just be… losing you?

When you look down at your feet, your brain can pay attention to the damage, immediately releasing a lot of pain.

Your pointe shoes are almost soaked in blood. You quickly seat in one of the bed, hurrying to untie it. Your heart beats faster. With the sudden increase of negativity, you feel panicked.

And it scares you, because you feel like you don’t have enough control.

Sejanus is the first one to look away.

“Oh my god, y/n” he knees in front of you. Looking at the mess. Now that the pointe shoes are gone, the damage is more than visible.

Tigris follows and finally Coriolanus remembers you. He seats beside you, frowning in disgust as he sees the pointe shoes covered in dry blood. Then your feet, you try to stop the bleeding, cleaning it, sobbing in silent.

You feel his hand on your shoulder. But you ignore him. You feel hurt by everyone. Your parents, the Capitol, and Coriolanus especially.

You squirm away from him.

“I’m just trying to soothe you.” Coriolanus admits in shock after seeing your reaction.

“I can handle it on my own” you spit out crying quietly, cleaning the tears with a hand, while the other holds some gazes against the wounded skin.

“We’ll bring a nurse” Tigris says, grabbing Sejanus and walking out of the room.

For the first time, Coriolanus knows something is going wrong. He officially sees how things are getting tricky.

Only you would know that your tears were for your boyfriend rather than the blood soaking your feet.

He was losing you. And later that night, he sealed the faith of your love for him after visiting Lucy Gray in the zoo one last time.

…

When the 10th Hunger Games started, you were making sudden apparitions at the camera. Coriolanus was focused on Lucy Gray moving through the arena. And you were too invested on following all the procedures. After some hours, a lot of people had left. Coriolanus was growing tired. He started eyeing you out, he saw your lilac makeup that matched your sweater. He saw the way your hips and waist looked in a pencil skirt.

After some failed attempts to make you look at him, he made eye contact. And minutes later, both of you ended up having a quick fuck in the restroom. Somehow it had worked as a makeup, he made you smile before you had to leave again. He kissed you and he promised to himself that no more mistakes were allowed. He would win the games with Lucy Gray and then… only eyes for you.

Things took a turn after Sejanus meant to give a proper goodbye to his tribute and old friend.

Coriolanus had killed a tribute. You are still unable to comprehend how you feel about it. He had come to your house during the night, red eyes and disheveled uniform. You wrapped your arms around him, shushing him to not disturb your parents.

He told you everything as you prepared the tub for him. He cried on your shoulder and stayed there for hours.

“You are good, Coriolanus. You are a good man. This doesn’t make you a monster…” you had said.

“What about the power I felt?…” you knew that was a warning sign.

“In the Hunger Games’ arena anything feels like power, my love” it was supposed to be enough to make him avoid thinking on power and death at the same time.

And now, adding the fact that he seemed to have built a connection with the songbird, you were everything but calm.

Nonetheless, that night you hold him protectively. You assure him everything would be fine.

“I would be lost without you” Coriolanus says, his nose pressed against your chest.

“I help the people I love, Coryo. That’s how will always be…” he reminds himself, no more errors. He holds tighter at you, knowing he had already messed up his promise one night ago.

…

You run, ignoring the pain of your wounded feet. The nurse said to take it easy if you wanted to dance after the games.

But you can’t help it. Coriolanus had won. While you ignored Lucy Gray Baird as the victor, you acknowledged your boyfriend as it. You run faster than Tigris, so you get to hug him before kissing him. He replies immediately. Holding your waist and smiling like an idiot. Everyone was looking and cheering around but neither of you cared. He deepened the kiss, feeling peace, he knew he had won. He had a good future secured. Along you.

“You did it, my love” you say in his lips, giggling. He also smiles, taking your hand before going to find Tigris who stayed back.

“You also did it.” He speaks. Making you realize it’s over.

And for the rest of the day, you are happy. You leave early because of the celebration.

You really want to stay with Coriolanus. But he was called away. Tigris stays with you the whole day. She calls Grandma’am as soon as you both enter the theater where the celebration was being held.

Both of you give the elder woman all details. She really cries and says she can’t wait to see his boy coming home that night. She wishes you good luck and the call is over.

“Okay. Let’s get over with this so we can celebrate with some posca tonight.” You laugh, taking a seat on the vanity.

“Coryo hates posca, Tigris.” She also laughs.

“If he can pretend to like it for formal events, he can pretend at home for his win and yours.” Between laughs and jokes, she starts to help you with makeup and hair.

An hour later, you start receiving good luck flowers and notice of being on the stage in fifteen minutes.

“You look perfect, y/n” she says smiling, making you turn around to see the pastel tutu and flower corset of the attire.

“I can’t breathe but this will make my shoulders look so aligned…” you thank her and after good luck wishes and a hug, she excuses herself to go to her seat.

Now alone, you make sure the makeup is perfect. Until you see Coriolanus in the door frame. He enters and closes the door. He looks so lost and sad, which worries you.

“I cheated on the games” you frown, hurrying to get to him. He sits on the couch, head between his legs, notifying to you how serious the issue is.

“What did you do?” He explains how he cheated. He kept it secret. He didn’t tell you.

“Is there a punishment or penalty?” He nods, looking at you now.

“Exile. Serve as a peacekeeper for twenty years” you look shocked. Your heart stops and you lean to grab his shoulders.

“I’ll go with you. University can wait. I’ll find a job where you’re sent to. And work with my mother at the same time. We’ll send money to Tigris and Grandma’am and-“

“No, y/n. I can’t let you do this.” You start to feel panicked again. You need to hear a solution.

“So what? You’re just leaving like that?” He remains quiet.

“You said you would fight for me.” He thinks about possibilities. He could marry you as soon as training was over. You two could find a little house, live there and send money to his family like you said. You already said you were willing to leave the Capitol for him.

“Oh, Coryo. Why did you had to do this?” He sighs frustrated.

“To win. For my family. For you… to give you all I promised.” You are at the verge of crying. And he has to be honest. If you were going to leave everything for him. He would be honest.

“I kissed her.”

You can only hear your heartbeat after that.

You don’t say anything for some seconds. His hands are sweating.

Something stronger than silence fills the room. You slap him.

Your hand burns afterwards. But the damage is done.

“Get. Out.” You spit out, quietly, yet extremely filled with poison.

He’s too shocked to say something back.

You are mentally collapsing. Finally feeling betrayed and mocked by him.

“You won’t get out? I will…” it’s bad when you start hearing a pitch in your ears. You know it’s not a good sign. But you’re so traumatized, that you lean closer to him.

“You’re a mistake… Such a big lie.” The last memory he sees before you have disappeared is the layers of tulle of your tutu, your perfume of jasmine and the sound of your distant sobs.

If he had lost you. His last memory of you would be dancing.

He stares from the backstage. And he wonders if destiny wanted you to dance such a melancholic song. Because he can literally see your sadness. You look so fragile that he curses himself. Maybe if he had mentored another district. Or maybe if he just had decided to shut up and avoid mentioning the kiss to you.

Did he ever love you? Why wasn’t enough?

However, that’s not enough suffering. While your head was spinning with many thoughts, the rest of your body was pleading you to stop. But you keep dancing. You feel the music and you let yourself to give the most emotional presentation of the history of Panem.

You don’t realize you have captured the same effect as Lucy Gray Baird singing. There are people crying. Throwing flowers at you. You don’t see it; you’re starting to see everything blurred.

As you leave the stage, people congratulate you. Coriolanus sees you look pale, darkened lips. You stop hearing, only the annoying pitch. Every step feels heavier than the last one. The sudden nausea makes you give up.

Coriolanus sees how you faint. Your body collapsing to the floor.

“Get a doctor… GET A DOCTOR, PLEASE!” He yells at a girl who was also in a tutu. She nods in shock, running. Some people gather, but only Coriolanus is there holding your unconscious body.

…

“I’m so sorry. This isn’t what I wanted. I wished so many things for us.” Coriolanus is crying. Holding your hand as you are asleep on a hospital bed. Your diagnosis said you suffered a collapse due to stress and traumatic experience. He knew it was caused by him. But he lies to your mother, saying it must’ve been for the pressure of the games and the death of Arachne Crane.

“I’m not a good man. And you deserve someone better than me…” he can now see the purple under your lashes, eye bags and cracked lips.

“But I’m coming back for you.”

After memorizing your image sleeping and kissing your forehead, he quietly leaves.

Your mother enters his line of vision.

“Coriolanus. Are you coming tomorrow? She’ll likely be awake” he swallows the rest of his tears and shakes his head.

“Unfortunately. I have peacekeeper duty away from the Capitol, required for me to get into university.”

“Oh no. Y/n knows, right?” He nods.

“But don’t worry, I’ll send her letters every week” it’s a promise. One he would make no matter what.

His hopes increase by the time he’s able to serve in District 12. Knowing he could give some closure to his situation with Lucy Gray but sickening because he’s also going there to soothe his urges to see his songbird again.

As for you, when you wake up, you feel beyond broken. You just hope and pray your sole image to haunt Coriolanus Snow for the rest of his life. Because the moment you walked out of that hospital, you would do everything to get rid of him and his memory. Promising to make his mere existence the most insignificant matter. Even when you knew your heart would never beat again the same way it did for him.

______________________________________________________________________

Taglist: @edb954 @poppyflower-22 @dear-bunnyboo @bryandechartisasmolbean @taylordaughter @coryoskywalker @maryvibess @reader-bookling123 @astarborntowrite @ewwwitsel @spring-goddess1 @real-lana-del-rey @electraphyng @athanasia-day @folklorelogy

[miupow]

I beg u for some crave hyuka thoughts pls 😥😥😥

im gonna end up making one of these 4 every member aren't i... first this ask and then one for soobin… i can see where this is going (i love it)

CRAVEVERSE ; werewolf!hueningkai headcanons .ᐟ ♡

cw ⸝⸝ sfw + nsfw hcs .ᐟ werewolf!hk (and werewolf!rest of txt) , fem!reader , no dark content warning for these hcs but general dark content warning for crave as an au. unprotected sex, gangbang mention, knotting, size kink, creampies, group sex, anal mention, possessive and protective behavior, pervy kai hehe

SFW ;

-> crave!kai who is the sweetest of them all!! has been so sweet and kind since he first met you, a genuine friend to turn to when the others are being so obtuse and mean :(

-> crave!kai who has the least control over his wolfish instincts though, both from being the youngest and from being only a half blooded wolf. he can get so aggressive if you piss him off, to the point he’s genuinely dangerous to be around.. he can’t help it though, and he always feels like garbage afterwards once he’s calmed down :( he can just crack. despite being such a sweetheart, you can’t help but still be a little afraid of him…

-> crave!kai who is always looking out for you! you can always count on him to tell you the truth, defend you, stick by your side… unlike his brothers, he loves humans, and by extension he loves you! such a cute silly human girl <3 so small and soft and cuddly

-> crave!kai who loves cuddles, loves scenting you, makes him purr like a kitty when you pet his head and let him muzzle into you!! is very physically affectionate and always giving you tight bear hugs <3

-> crave!kai who sees you as a person and not as an object. who loves listening to your stories about your life before them, who loves talking with you, spending time with you, getting to know you. who he falls in love with because of who she is as a person, not because of some divine instincts.

-> crave!kai who is babied by his older brothers, and he hates it so much though he never puts it into words.. he’s tired of being treated like he’s a stupid pup, he’s a man!! and you make him feel so manly when he provides and takes care of you…

-> crave!kai whos personality takes a complete 180 if he’s ever set off, possessive or jealous or territorial. a violent angry beast you don’t even recognize…

-> crave!kai whos overall ur biggest simp and ur biggest fan !! probably the most down bad just behind yeonjun lol (i imagine reader as older than tyunning in crave so take that as you will… tyunning x their noona kink will always be famous)

NSFW ; (under the cut!)

-> crave!kai who is still a juvenile in werewolf terms even if he is an adult by human standards. he’s not fully matured into his instincts or his powers, and therefore they control him more than he controls them . he hasn’t even had his first run yet by the time you come into his life, but maybe the pretty human girl always around him sets off his first rut cycle …

-> crave!kai who doesn’t know how to deal with any of his wolfish feelings! can’t help but be so embarrassed about how obsessive he’s become about marking, mating, and breeding, protecting his territory, providing for what’s his. he used to never feel like that before!!

-> crave!kai who needs to be held back from ruining you completely during his rut <3 first time he ever goes into rut he loses himself and hurts you!! and baby just feels so bad about it!! needs a hyung to show him how to control himself while breeding you good <3

-> crave!kai who has a big fat dick he doesn’t know how to use !! so big it scares you a little w a knot that’s even fatter , cums so much it gets everywhere, spills out from where he’s plugged you up and drools down your thighs in a nasty creamy mess

-> crave!kai with the biggest size kink in the world, who gets hard as a rock from seeing just how tiny you r next to him and his big broad frame.. he feels so protective over u :( even when he’s splitting you open while you cry that his cock won’t fit and he’s shushing you that it will, trust him, just relax! still so protective…

-> crave!kai who while being protective doesn’t mind sharing you with the others, likes watching you get gangbanged ruined from every hole n turned into a breeding cumdump <3

-> crave!kai who loves anal, who gets teased for it because it goes against his instincts but he just loves it so much omg

[karlachismylife]

Wrote the intro the day I started this work and decided to leave it since it reflects the shitstorm in my head quite well, eh.

Okay Idk what it is with me today (I actually do know, I'm having a bad fucking night as a consequence of my own actions but I prefer not to think about it), but I just thought about task force 141 and reader that has such a bad withdrawal after their orgasm that they actually cry and not in a fun way (cue my lack of understanding how crying in bed can ever be fun, but i'm not here to kinkshame)

CW: NSFW (so minors and ageless blogs DNI, I'll block you), but there's barely any sex, hurt/comfort, body image issues, low self-esteem, chubby/fat!reader, written with afab!reader in mind (but most parts can be read as gn), potential mental health issues (?), thoughts of selfloathing and selfharm, smoking mentioned once at the end. Very self-indulgent and I'm definitely unwell, so yeah. It's also more focused on reader's inner shitstorm than the guys in many places so idk if this even really is enjoyable...

Starts as a single piece, then splits into individual blurbs/drabbles/oneshots + some polyamory cuz I'm spoiling myself today having done nothing to deserve it, lol.

They vary in size and tone since I've been writing them through several ups and downs in my own mental state, so please don't take this as a sign of which characher/combo is my favourite. I'm greedy, I like everything.

This is unfair.

Like, you just had wonderful sex, probably came more than once in a short period of time, ears stuffed with cotton, limbs weak, head spinning... and it keeps spinning, sweet tingling on the skin turning into nasty rushes of cold, muscles too tense, but it's not a cramp.

You feel like shit, every possible hormonal and neuromediator crash downing on you, a hollow, depressing weight in your chest instead of a sweet afterglow. Sweat and cum feel disgusting on you skin, your skin feels disgusting, strangling, your whole body seems revolting, too heavy, too sluggish. A sticky, suffocating heatwave on your nape, but your chest is cold and covered in goosebumps, a feverish feeling clogging every pore. Nausea wrenches into your stomach and stops just before you can relievingly barf and get rid of this parasite inside.

You simply want to dig your nails into your own shoulders instead of his and rip the skin and meat off, free yourself from this burden (you're the burden). Each second as he stays blissfully unaware, holding you tightly with his big hands and panting into the crook of your neck, drags on like a hundred hours of pure torture - the torture of being yourself.

Throwing up feels like an appropriate reaction to how unappealing and ugly you feel.

You're spiraling. You couldn't fucking keep your own messed up emotional outburst - completely unreasonable and unprovoked, by the way - to yourself, and now it's going to be noticed. You'll ruin someone else's fun. Make it all about yourself when you've already been nothing but doted on, cared and provided for. Fucked so good that your body is still clenching around that magnificent cock deep inside you.

And you're fucking crying, like an ungrateful, egotistical brat. Never having enough, unable to provide something as simple as a hole to make someone else happy without fucking it up.

Ghost notices immediately. There's nothing that can escape this man, and definitely not his love's distress. He's not reacting immediately for a sole reason: he's frozen in fear, horrified that he made you cry. How - he's not sure, he always takes great care to stay within limits, never allows himself to push you further than you both agree on. But what if he slipped up? What if he got carried away? Did he cause pain? Did he say something hurtful in the heat of the moment?

"Fuck. Hey, hey, lovie... look at me... wha's wrong? Did I... did I hurt ya?" Good thing you're hiding your face and your red eyes so desperately that you can't see how distressed and downright terrified Simon looks, lost at the sight of your tears. When you shake your head and attempt to push him away to hide your pathetic sobbing, he somewhat calms down and brings his big calloused hands to cradle your face, gently prying your own palms away and holding your puffy cheeks tenderly. His thumbs brush your tears away as he holds you, holds you through the growing rage fit of touch aversion, through the shudders and actual wailing. At some point he moves his palm to cover your eyes, a dry, dark blinder to keep the world around you shut out, help you concentrate on his voice.

He's not talking, just humming, a familiar, deep, grumbling noise that soothes all the flashes of anger, hate and disgust in your brain. You're tired now, like you're always are after such an intense outburst, and as you go limp, he finally pulls away, only to pick you up - barely a strain, a direct spit in the face of your own insecurity - and bring you to the bathroom. A warm shower evens your distorted body temperature out, his hands running over your body and cleaning all the stickiness away bring back peace with your own skin. After a quick rinse Simon holds you, your head cradled against his chest, until you make a weak attempt to help him wash too - he lets you trace his body, that perfection you adore with all its old wounds, sores and scars, for a bit, and then finishes himelf.

Gives you fresh cotton underwear and his hige T-shirt, still holding you around your shoulders and keeping the comfortable pressure even while he changes the bedsheets, kissing your temple as you find it in yourself to help.

It's only after you settle on top of him, nice, clean comforter protecting your back against the world, head on his chest right next to his heart beating in a steady rythm, he finally breaks silence.

"Need anything else, lovie?" Just like that. No prying, no occusations, nothing that would put you on the spot. You can ask him to bring you the moon soaked in unicorn's milk, and he'll just nod, kiss your hand and start dressing up, already calling Johnny to ask where the fuck did Scots hide their last horned horse and if he happens to know where they enlist astronauts.

"Just you."

His grip on the small of your back tightens and you feel his uneven, scarred lips graze the top of your head.

"Ya've got me. Always."

Soap is running hot like a furnace, still shivering and panting after what he considers the best sex he has ever had (every time with you is). He lifts his face, buried into the crease of your neck previously, and starts peppering you with slightly sloppy, grateful kisses - your neck, your jaw, your lips, your...

When he tastes your tears and opens his unbelievably blue eyes to see your expression contorted in disgust, he panics. Pulls away immediately, hands both itching to grab you and shake a reason for that look on your face out of you and too scared to touch you in case this hatred is directed at him.

"Whit's wrong, leannan? Are ye a'right? Ye didnae lik' it? Shite, lass, Ah'm so sorry, Ah didnae mean tae-" He stops yapping only when he notices the way your lips tremble as you try to plead with him, sobbing that it's not his fault.

"'M sorry, I ruined it... I'm so sorry, sushine, I just... fuck I wish I wasn't so bloody sick in the head and ugly..." Speaking out loud only worsens your anger, directed solely at yourself, and you try to wipe your eyes furiously. As the tears keep rolling, your frustration only grows - maybe if you yanked your own hair really good or slapped the disgusting pudgy cheek you've despised ever since chidhood as everyone kept pointing out how big they were...

"Ye didnae just call the love of mah fucking life ugly." Johnny's voice is a mix of a harsh order to cut your bullshit and pure disbelief. His huge paws wrap themselves around your wrists, stopping you both from harming yourself and covering your face. You're forced to look at him, and as you do, you see his handsome face flushed with a passionate anger at the intrusive thoughts in your head, heavy frown in his thick eyebrows and the sea in his eyes dark and deep enough to drown a whole fleet. You'd be scared if it wasn't obvious how hurt he is underneath it all - like a kid whose favourite plushie just got mocked by his classmates.

"It's just a toy," adults would say, and they would be bloody wrong.

"Tis not a toy, tis mah friend."

You're his friend. His love. His heart, his soul, his everything - he whispers that frantically, kissing you over and over, hot palms running over your body, wiping the cold, the stickiness, the goosebumps away. You don't have time to think, to spiral again, you're drowning in that exact sea that's spilling from his eyes, staring at you with pure devotion - a sea of affection, admiration, love, love, love.

Johnny nuzzles up to you like an animal seeking comfort, hides into your chest, right after he kisses your sweaty double chin, breathes in deeply, lets go of your soft shoulders only to grab two handfuls of your tummy, kneading it, warming up the stale blood, squeezing your big thighs between his and getting lost in the frenzy - he honestly doesn't even remember already that he was comforting you, he's fully in the worshipping mode, leaving you no chance to dip even a single toe into the self-conscious thoughts again.

You'll just have to stay there, every single tear lapped up from your face, and accept every greedy touch and word of a man utterly in love with you. Even the messed up parts.

Gaz keeps his cool despite how distraught even the thought of your sadness makes him. First of all he moves aside to give you space, makes sure you're not hurt, asking in his usual kind - unbelievably kind, so much that you burst into tears again, feeling undeserving of such unapologetically soft treatement, tone.

"Shh, shush, gorgeous, you're not hurt, are you? It's okay, c'mere, jus-st like tha', very good, love," praises keep spilling from his tender lips as he carefully helps you sit up, simply dragging you away from the damp from sweat and everything else spot on the sheets. He ends up balancing half his bare ass off the edge of the bed, but it doesn't bother him in the slightest as he feels you already coming back from that hopeless place as soon as your body gets stuck between clean, dry and a bit cool sheet and Kyle's firm lean body of a litearal god - or a prince, at least.

His deft fingers are already at work, massaging your scalp, chasing the tension away, but the second he feels you grow uncomfortable with the repetitive movement, he stops and retreats to simply holding you in a steady, reliant embrace. You know he's good with his words, that's how he got you, swept off your feet completely and made you swoon with sweet compliments, hilarious snark and smart talk.

You just don't expect him to do it all over again in the face of your burdened mind crumbling in the paradise.

"Talk to me, angel. Let me inside that pretty head, hm?"

It takes this sweettalker just a couple of words to coax whatever that ugly, slimy knot in your throat is, out. You sob, retelling Kyle every single thought that has been stuck in that coagulated mess in your head, spill the bile that has been burning your retching throat, out in the open, for him to see the disgusting ugliness of your insides - matching your outside.

Somehow throughout your choking trade his soft, careful hand never leaves your back, rubbing circles of different radius and intensity into your skin to keep the aggression at monotonous touch at bay.

"Must've been some terrible person to overbear your spirit and plant all those lies in your mind, angel." You don't catch the meaning of his words at first, glancing at him confused and whoozy after you exploded with self-deprication. Those dark, calm eyes look at you no different than before: quiet, calm reverence and determination. A thread of spider's silk, thin as a hair, but stronger than steel, his love does not waver. Were you in the right state to actually pay attention, you would've seen it only grow.

"Well, beautiful, this isn't how I planned to start writing poetry, but since you insisted... maybe I can think of a diss track about you."

"A diss track?.." Poor you, so upset that you can't catch onto the mischievous glint in his eyes and that silly smooth sarcasm slipping into his words. You're actually half a step away from believing he would diss you, destroying that already non-existent self-esteem once and for all.

"Yup. Gotta diss-tract you from all that bullshit in your head for good. Unless you'd rather me fuck it out of you instead?"

You cannot not smile at that, even if it's a weak, timid smile. Kyle's face still lights up as if he sees an actual angel, bringing the good grace or whatever.

"There ya go. First step of the mission? Success. Permission to continue? I repeat, permission to continue?"

"You spend too much time with Simon. Permission granted..."

Price undrstands what's going on before he even hears your first sob, the tension in your body and the change in your breath telling him all he needs to know. There's enough experience in this man for the both of you, he has learnt to read people and immediately accomodate them in a way that serves a common goal so long ago that it's a secong nature already.

Your comfort is that common goal.

With a grunt, he rolls you over, planting you firmly on top of his warm, burly body. Untucking your head from his hairy chest, he holds your face and does not let you concentrate on anything but his stern, focued gaze under those bushy eyebrows - but there's still that undeniable tenderness in his eyes that's always there whenever John looks at you.

His voice sounds usual too: a calm, commanding, but not harsh tone, not a loud bark any of his subordinates would hear, yet still an order. "Look at me, darling. Tha's right, look at me, look at your John. You shut whatever's going through that troubled mind of yours out and let me take care of the rest, a'right? Can you do that for me, darling? I know you can. I'll do all the thinking for ya, eh?"

Giving control over to him feels natural at any other moment, but right now you're too deep in the trenches of the war with your own mind, hissing at you with pure disgust for being so selfish. Really, now? Had to use this sweet, caring man for your own needs, and now you're dumping all your perverted, fucked up baggage on him too?

"Nuh-huh, ya're still thinking. Told ya to cut if off. You know that's not you thinking right now, dontcha? You're a smart one, love, ya know shit like this happens. And when shit happens, who are you going to to deal with it, huh?" His deep voice rumbles in his chest, seeps into your clogged ears, fills your skull with the unyielding determination and leaves no room for your own dark thoughts.

When you hesitate to answer, John slides his rough palms over your back, tracing your soft rolls and landing onto the pudge of your hips, squeezing lightly to remind you who's in charge and what your task is. "Who is there for ya to deal with shit that happens, hm, darling? Need ya to tell me."

You want to hide, escape his demand for an answer, but he keeps you firmly in his embrace, a gaze of steel unmoving from you. It almost makes you tear up again, almost feels mean of him to put you on the spot, when all you want to do is curl up in a dark corner and stay there for all eternity. But the love you have for this man overpowers even the seething hatred you bear for yourself, so you give up and murmur meekly: "You..."

"Tha's right, darling, it's your John. I'm here to deal with everything that bothers ya. Everything, ya hear? Tha's me job. Your job is to stay wit' me 'n' not overthink, eh? Especially not when it's just hormons making ya feel bad." You have nothing else left to do, other than sniffle into his chest and melt under a warm kiss he plants on your crown. "How about a cuppa, eh, darling? And something just as sweet as ya for a bite. Ya'll feel better in no time, I promise."

Ghost and Soap cancel each other's panicking out. As soon as both you and Simon slip out of the sweet afterglow, falling backwards each into your own pit of self-doubt and spiraling, Johnny starts babbling, terrified at the thought of both his beloved people feeling worse after being with him. His slurred, panting words and frantic kisses help Simon shake of his own horror - in return, he squeezes Johnny's shoulder to slow the worried mutt down and redirect his energy into helping you. Soap tenses up under the firm touch of his Lieutenant, then relaxes again, leaning into him for a moment to collect himself - they charge from each other, mere seconds of feeding off each other's energies in the middle of a time-limited mission with the highest stakes: your well-being.

They exchange glances, no words needed after the way their work together almost makes them mindreaders to each other, and turn back to you as you lay there, face painfully contorted in an attempt to keep the black foamy bile you feel rising in your throat from spilling. Slow, sticky, angry tears run down your flabby cheeks, and with each millimetre they go, your scalding wish to gouge your eyes out with your bare hands grows, just to punish yourself for being ungrateful after two perfect men spent so much of their time making you feel good.

"Dinnae cry, bonnie. Ye're a'right, ye're 'ere, wit' us. Right, LT? We're nae gonnae let ye marinate in whitevur got ye so upset." The pressure from inside your body that threatened to burst you open into a messy explosion of bile and rot, gets evened out from outside by Johnny's tight hug. He squeezes you up to the painful point, cradling against his broad chest, holding the fort while Simon leaves the bed, but not without kissing both your palms and holding them against his lips until he feels the cold leave your fingertips.

"Oi, Johnny. Help lovie get in 'ere," he calls out several minutes later out of the bathroom. Soap, who has been holding you and allowing you to sob against his heart this whole time, stroking your sweaty hair and murmuring every word of love he knows, scoops you up immediately. He pads over with you in his arms to where a warm bath is already filled thanks to Simon, and when you react to the temperature with another wave of tears, they both reach out to the tap simultaneously.

"Is tha' a'right, bonnie?" You make a strangled noise as Johnny finally sets you down into much cooler now water. It soothes you, makes you feel instantly cleaner, smaller, lighter. Breathing gets easier, that swollen blob of anger and disgust shrinking down in your chest and allowing you to inhale bathroom's damp air normally. You open your mouth to apologize and get cut off before even a single syllable leaves your mouth.

"Don't," Simon's voice sounds gruff, but even his murky reflection in the rippling water looks genuinely soft towards you. They're both perched on the cold bath edge, naked and seemingly not caring about that at all. "Jus' let us take care of you, yeah, love? Tha's what we're here for. Tha's what we want to do."

"Well, actually, there's one more thing," Johnny interjects, causing you to finally lift your sullenly lowered head and look at him, Simon's big palm using this moment of distraction to press onto your back in silent support. "Can Ah make ye a foam beard? Please, bonnie? Ye jus' 'ave the prettiest sweetest cheeks fur tha'."

Soap and Gaz feel like their world is sinking into a whirlwind of stormy clouds, the kind that sucks all light out of sky in mere seconds and can't be cut through even by blinding flashes of lightnings. There is no sun in their skies if you're not smiling, and the sound of your muffled sniffles hits their eardrums harder than thunder or explosions. The frowns distorting their faces only make you more self-aware of the fact that you ruined things between you - the initial hysteria starts rapidly flowing into complete shutdown, threatening to turn you into an emotionless shell for unknown period of time, when several warm, big hands intervene and cut the depressing trajectory down at its root.

"Damn, we did a shit job fucking all your thoughts out, didn't we, angel?" Kyle's joke sounds soft, teasing, but empathetic, ready to be met with sobs or silence instead of the usual laughter that flashes your teeth at him and makes his own smile grow brighter.

"Aye, we did. If anythin', Ah think we put more thoughts intae 'ere instead," Johnny scratches his head dramatically, and then you feel his big, hot palm on you sweaty forehead, as if he's trying to get a feel of the thoughts inside your skull. It doesn't linger there for long, though, rough fidgety fingers digging into your hair and tugging at the roots. This makes the hot-and-cold collar around your nape unclench, uncouth and chaotic massage confidently pulling every ounce of anger out of your brain. From time to time his calloused palm slips lower, squeezing your scruff, wiping the cool sweat away and taking control over what seems to have escaped your own.

"How does it feel to be the first person to get knocked up mentally, love? Having any cravings yet? Feeling your brainworms kick yet?" Dry cotton comforter suddenly covers your exposed to be looked at with disdain body, and before you can choke out a protest and something about you being sweaty and sticky and disgusting, Kyle grips your shoulders firmly, rubbing up and down as he slowly helps you sit up a bit.

"Ye eejit, how dae ye think thay can kick? They're brainworms, thay dinnae hae any legs!" The sheer passion in Johnny's heated counterarguement does the impossible - makes the corners of your deeply upset mouth twitch against all the weight the sadness put on them. Your knights in shining (from all the sweat your lovemaking covered them with) armor of their own warm skin seem to not notice the slightest twitch of your lips - there's no excessive attention drawn to you, none of them puts you on the spot. Their touch isn't going anywhere, but it almost seems mindless, simply their need to have something soft and pleasant to squeeze in their restless hands. "'N' wasnae Mary th' first lassie tae get up th' duff through th' heid?"

"That wasn't mentally, that was spiritually, read your books, Soap," scoffs Kyle, as if it was the most obvious thing, and ducks just in time to avoid a pillow thrown at him with sniper's precision.

"Oi, ye sayin' Ah cannae read now?!" Whatever snarky retort Kyle was ready to shoot, gets wiped out as Johnny tackles him, barely avoiding pushing all three of you off the bed. Their scuffle consists of chokeholds and sneaky kisses, legs getting caught in the sheets and somehow tangling you into the mess too.

Until you laugh, finding yourself squished into Johnny's hairy chest with Kyle in a gently headlock somewhere under your arm.

"Hey, hey, careful, mate, our lovie's expecting, we can't just throw 'em around!" However obvious that deflection is, Johnny reacts as if you were actually with child and grabs your face, boring his eyes into yours, slowly widening his two blue lochs in pretend horror.

"Och naw! Ah think we lost 'em, Ah cannae see nothin' there now!" Flushed after the playfight, you avert your gaze, still a trace of self-consciousness about yout outburst somewhere deep inside, but none of the "brainworms" that clogged your insides in sight indeed. Johnny's little drama earns him a soft nip on his thumb from you, and he smiles at you, clearly satisfied with the effect their little scheme had.

"Aw, damn, and here I was, ready to hear the pitter-patter of 'em little feet," Kyle's warm lips somehow find their way to kiss your temple, eliciting another shy giggle.

A pillow crashes onto both of you with the force of a small bombshell.

"THAY DINNAE HAE FEET, GARRICK, THAY'RE WORMS!"

Price and Gaz fall into their usual ways seamlessly, responsibilities and tasks split between the two seemingly without even any verbal communication. Clearing out the space around you with the same quick efficiency they clear out enemies with, they prop you up on some pillows, assess your condition in case they got carried away and hurt you, and finally settle on both sides of you, warm hands on your knees squeezing softly.

"Are ya gonna talk to us now, lovie? Or will we have to use interrogation tactics to learn what made our love so upset?" John's voice bears no trace of threat, but it still makes you cower and try to take up even less space that your curled up body already has, which earns you a sigh from the Captain. "I see. Take over from here, Sergeant. I expect results once I return."

The matress sighs with relief a Price's weight leaves it, bare feet padding a few steps before he reaches his slippers and leaves the room. The pit that the sound of your bedroom's door closing opens in your chest is crushing your ribcage with the iron fist of vacum. You can't blame John for not willing to deal with your bullshit, but the hearbreak only reenforces the choking smog in your head that's rasping in a hundred different voices that the only thing you deserve is pure repulsion.

Kyle's soft thumb pads wipe the tears teetering on the arrows of your lashes, and in a smooth movement you find your face cupped and pulled close to his shoulder. His smooth skin sticks to your wet cheek and you find yourself crying like a little kid, the unbearable pain of the revolting dark knots inside somehow replaced with surprisingly more bearable grief over what you consider an ending reltionship. Perhaps John leaving our bed finally shattered your heart, letting the ungodly pressure out and allowing it to beat - and bleed - again.

"We'd really like if ya talked to us, angel. Don't think Captain can stand there bare-ass naked much longer, might catch rheumatism at this point, he's not getting younger, you know..."

"I hope you know I can hear you perfecrly clear, Garrick." You stop mid-sniffle, eyes snapping to the closed door. You can finally see the shadow of a man standing just outside, and the air slowly feels with some flavour you can't distinguish through all the snot yet, but seem to like a lot...

"Good, so your hearing's still intact, sir. You're in good shape," Kyle's cheeky remark must've broken John's famous patience and restraint, because the bedroom door finally opens, and you see him there. With a tray with a whole bunch of tea mugs and little plates of treats balanced in his hands.

"Still not talking? Well, we'll try another method then, lovie. Sandwich for your thoughts, eh?"

His cheeks are round with a kind smile, confusing your tortured mind even further - Kyle uses your stupor to fetch John's big, slightly scratchy bathrobe, successfully wrapping you into a cocoon of grounding stimulation all over your feverish skin. With a huff and a grumble about staying butt-naked a bit longer, John puts a pleasantly warm mug into your hands and looks at you, arms crossed and tucked into his armpits now that he got rid of the tray.

Expecting an answer.

"'M sorry..." seems appropriate right up to the moment when a little finger-sandwich gets shoved into your mouth. The bread is soft, nice, salty ham and crunchy cucumber filling your senses and cracking a bit fat line of light right in the middle of the dense cloud in your thoughts.

"Try again, love," Kyle gives a hint and wipes a crumb off your lips, licking it off his thumb. "We don't need an apology, we just want to know what's troubling ya. John, tell 'em."

"Already did," grumbles Price in response and clears his throat, sitting back down on the creaking bed. "Food's working though. Eat up, darling, get your energy. Then we'll talk properly, a'right?"

You chew slowly, still stiff in your own body, but regaining control gradually. Yes. Then you'll talk.

Ghost and Price exchange a single glance over your from, choking on the self-destructive rage, and John shakes his head so slightly that one can barely notice, but it's clear enough to stop Simon from tumbling down the traumatic spiral staircase of his own. Grounded by his Captain's presence, he shrugs his broad shoulders, shaking off the creeping up feeling of his own monsterous nature, and rolls onto his back, pulling you out of the miserable wet ball of wrinkled sheets and onto his firm lap, sideways, his big palms resting comfortably around your hips; he's not squeezing or digging his fingers into the fat like he usually does, but it's a secure hug you can't really escape.

Exposed held too far away from his chest you could hide on, you shrink, rising your shoulders protectively and trying to cover up your soft belly, spilling over your pelvis in a shapless manner - that's when John's arms come from behind, catching yours and instead of pulling away forcefully, simply repeating your own safety cocoon, hiding your body from your distorted sight and keeping you warm.

"You're not thinking straight right now, darling," every phrase he murmurs gently, calmly, convincingly into your ear is accompanied by a little kiss, beard tickling and burning your already irritated by tears skin. "So good for us, so kind. Can you spare some of that kindness for yourself?"

Even though it doesn't sound like a rhethorical question, Simon cups your cheek and shushes you tenderly, pressing his thumb to your lips, allowing John to continue with his little speech aimed to dispel the storm coagulated in your chest.

"'Cos if not, it's a'right, love. We know it's hard, and ya're doing good already. Ya 'ave us, eh? To love ya, to cherish ya. No need to overthink, jus' let us hold you, a'right?"

He finally pushes you onto Simon's chest, his big heart stuttering with worry as you seek shelter among his many scars that paint a horrifying picture once you put all the fragments together.

"How'd you do that, sir?" Simon's voice sounds vulnerable - so much that it strikes through all the layers of your egocentric self-hatred and shifts you almost immeditely into a completely different mindset; one where you throw your whole self into loving your scarred and battle-worn men in such abundance that it's ought to compensate for all the unfairness they've gone through.

There's no need for it now, you realize a little too late: Price is there, keeping Simon away from the darkness. They're fine. Better than ever. It's a distraction, a trick, a play to make your bleeding heart stop the internal self-destruction and turn to healing.

A sly little switch you're not sure they were planning to flip, but it worked.

"Hm?" As if emerging from the depths of his thoughts in response to Simon's question, John caresses your cheek as gently as his rough thumb can and then smiles, maybe catching onto the change in your mood or simply remembering all the times he pulled Ghost out of the same gloom and darkness. "Jus' taking care of me own, Simon. Tha's what a Captain does, no? Now, love, how about a shower? I reckon we can squeeze in all together and papmer you really good, what do ya say, eh?"

Ghost and Gaz manage to keep their cool. Kyle's confident and gentle presence serves to reassure any doubts Simon has about hurting you, he shoots a single glance at his sergeant and recieves support immediately. Two pair of hands cradle you with all the tenderness two soldiers are capable of, which is always enough to drown you in fully. It's a tight hug, a hot mess of limbs, too much skin on skin contact that makes your brain flare with undirected rage, but as seconds trickle by and you're still trapped between two firm bodies, you have no choice but to slip into the exhaustion phase of your outburst.

It's not pleasant, nor could you say you feel calm; if anything, you just petrify, a permanent frown on your face and blindly staring forward glass eyes. You're tired, you'd still rather be anywhere but inside your own body that still feels like a useless deformed bag that should be gutted and emptied to lighten up, inner layer of your skin scrubbed with a knife to peel off the suffocating thickness of fat trapping this heated rage inside...

Instead, you get a kiss.

It's Kyle, soft, full lips touching your wet with tears cheekbone, then again - your temple, your cheek, the overheated spot behind your ear. They're light, soft kisses, too gentle to be playful or arousing. Calming. They do not demand anything in return - he allows you to stay in your inner world where you feel secure, even pauses to kiss Simon the same way right in front of your eyes. A silent demonstrationg of the love and reverence these pecks carry, Simon's hooded eyes fluttering shut as if his own compartmentalized demons get exorcised by Garrick's touch.

"Wanna talk about it, angel?" Kyle's voice rumbles at a nice, grounding, smooth timbre, and your still-too-slow mind struggles to grasp how is it possible that he's talking and you're still getting kisses - until you recognize the uneven texture of Simon's scarred lips, trailing along your skin tenderly. "Whenever you're ready, love. But we would love to know what's going through your head right now."

It feels strange to say it out lound when you're held and caressed like this, but their kisses and solid embrace cleared your windpipe enough of the mental gunk for you to be able to speak.

"I hate myself... 'M disgusting, and-" A displeased grumbling kiss from Simon interrupts you, and even Kyle pushes his huge shoulder to reprimand his own Lieutenant for the interference. Kisses his temple immediately to make amends, though, and turns back to you, prompting you to continue.

"Wot? Don't like when someone talks shit 'bout mine," grumbles Simon like a dog that got flicked on the nose for growling at welcome guests.

"Let 'em talk, mate, it's good to get things off your chest." At least their little bickering coaxes a tiniest hint of smile out of you, and Simon, noticing it immediately, stares back at Kyle with such pride, as if he just did something great.

The thing is, in the way his arms squeeze you a tad bit tighter, pressing into his firm body, you can read that for him - your smile is the greatest achievement.

"Don't tell me you prefer his silent treatement, angel, I'm trying to be the attentive boyfriend here, and for what?" Your smile grows a little braver. A little brighter. You would've kept talking if you could remember what it was that hurt so fucking much in your chest.

"Shower. Then a cuppa. Then we have the talk." No one dares to argue with the Ghost and his gruff commands. You feel the sheet sticking to your skin as he lifts you up, Kyle already sneaking off to prepare towels and clean clothes for you three. He'll stay with you and help you wash the remaints of the mind attack off. Simon will make fresh tea.

You're going to be alright.

Price and Soap take quite an intense approach the second they notice your distress. You feel Johnny's weight disappear from you after the first strangled sob that escapes you, and if you could open your eyes glued shut by the hot, messy tears, you would see John practically dragging the poor Sergeant away by his scruff. It's easy to suspect that Johnny couldn't contain himself and went too hard, too rough on you - with no malice, but pure passion that's spilling from his big, hot heart every time he gets to be close to you.

But it's not Johnny's fault, neither is it John's. It's all you, a useless, pathetic thing, good for nothing and holding two gorgeous men to yourself like a greedy glutton hoarding delicious food.

"Ah'm sorry, bonnie- ow, Ah got it, Ah got it, Ah'm not touchin'!"

"Did we hurt ya, love? Was Johnny boy too rough wit' ya? Wha's wrong?"

You feel big warm hands gliding over your skin, quick assessment of your state in search of potential harm caused. This immediate care only makes you feel worse, every cold sweaty patch of your disgusting hide shivering and twitching under Captain's careful touch. You struggle against your own spiraling anger, fight it with what's left of your exhausted resilience - and lose, curling up with another burst of tears, shoving the loving hands away and dusting the lingering warmth off your body.

After all, you do not deserve to be treated with such kindness after the fit you just threw.

"No, no, no, it's not his fault, it's not Johnny's... it's me, it's my fault, it's all my fault, I ruin everything, I'm- I'm disgusting!"

The silence that follows you blowing up on them is heavy. Just as bad as the knot in your chest.

"Johnny."

When you open your eyes to find a way out, run away, scatter and hide in the furthest corner of the apartment until everyone who tried caring for you leaves again, you're met with Johnny's bright blue eyes, glistening with unshed tears.

It's a shocking sight, pushing you out of the muffled misery into an alerted worry - his face is red with unexplainable pained anger, fists clenched as John holds him tightly by hunched shouders, seemingly trying to prevent a violent outburst.

"Ah wanntae ken names of th' bastarts who made ye feelin' tis wa'. Ah swear Ah will mak' thaim fuckin' choke oan thair ain tongues, Ah'll rip thair spines oot 'n' shove thaim up thair-" - "Enough, Johnny. Stand down. This won't solve anythin'. Ya calm down and help our lovie feel better, a'right?"

Still a bit shells-hocked, you stir on the bedsheets and push yourself up to sit upright, stretching your arms hesitantly to the men in a weak attempt to remedy whatever shitstorm you caused in their minds.

"Don't get mad, please," you whisper sheepishly, and the shy sound of your still choked voice seems to wash Johnny's explosive anger away better than the firm grip of his handler's (Price's) hands. With a look of a beaten dog, Johnny huffs loudly, cuddlng up to you and hiding his face in your lap. His heavy jaw sinks in the plush of your thighs, accomodated nicely with the softness of your body.

"'M nae mad at ye, leannan. Jus' dinnae say tha' again, a'right, bonnie? If ye need me tae prove ye-"

"No..." your hand finds it place in his damp mohawk and brushes through, while you glance at John. His eyes are shimmering with love and love only as he looks at you and Johnny, and you feel a wave of shyness - the good, giddy, warm kind - replacing the paralyzing shame. "I'm fine already. With you."

"Maybe we should 'ave a little chat 'bout it, love," John's hand meets yours on the sad mutt's head in your lap, intertwinig fingers with you through Johnny's soft hair. "When ya feel better. Jus' so we know what we're dealing with, eh?"

"Yeah. A bit later. Thank you."

All four of your men get frozen witnessing your reaction, struck with a horrifying sense of helplessness - it feels like the biggest failure among many unsuccessful missions, operations where lives were lost and enemies missed, to have you curling up and crying in misery between all the love they've been pouring onto you just mere seconds ago. As if everything they touch is bound to go up in flames, drown in blood and rot, be it on the outside or from the inside.

They're lost, and as always, they turn to the Captain, giving themselves up for him to direct, trusting that he knows better what use they can be of.

And, frankly, he does.

They're barely talking, but the commotion around you is decipherable even through the red mind fog and closed eyes - it honestly only makes you feel worse, unsafe, exposed, despite that simply being Soap, sent off to fill a bath ("Ye want it hot or a tad bit cool, bonnie?" - Silence. Your nails dig into your scalp, the soud of someone simply breathing, even more so talking to you, sending you into a new fit of rage. "Make it warm, Johnny, we'll adjust later."), and Simon, leaving for tea duty - silently, your favourite way to have it attentively observed in the first two weeks you've been together and memorized ever since.

It's Kyle whose voice, murmuring into your ear sweet, reassuring nothings as he keeps you caged in a tight embrace, your back pressed against his warm chest, forces you out of the highly irritable state. You have no choice between his short, chaste kisses on the crown of your overloaded head, and John's calloused hands massaging your calves, soft flesh dipping under the firm pressure.

"Ya jus' focus on fighting tha' storm off, a'right, darling? We'll take care of th' rest. It happens, we know it does, 's not your fault. Jus' a funny lil' thing your mind does, eh? Yeah, love, we know wha' it's like when your mind does funny things. Don't we, Kyle?"

"That we do." Maybe it's just your own depressive state rubbing off on them or distorting your perception, but Kyle's voice sounds almost solemn. You would turn to look into the smoky quartz of his eyes, but either he holds you too tight, or you have barely any strength left in your upset body - you simply can't.

Maybe it's alright. Maybe tonight they don't need you ripping your heart out to tend to their restless minds, and you can just allow them to take care of you.

Allow Kyle to carry you to the bathroom.

Allow John to stay there and help you wash yourself with a nice, scrubby loofah.

Allow Johnny to bring in his huge, baggy loungewear that doesn't hug your curves too snugly and allows you to simply forget what you were so angry about for a while.

Allow Simon to serve you perfect temperature tea in your favourite mug and keep you quiet company on the balcony, night air cooling your wet and clean now skin and hair further and blowing all thoughts out of your troubled head away.

As you share a cigarette with rich clove aftertaste, breathing ironically becomes easier. Behind your back the bedsheets are being changed, proper meal is being cooked, a good movie you won't be upset falling asleep to is being chosen.

"Simon." - "Hm." - "You sure you're okay with me being like that?" - "Standin' in the wind with your hair wet, tryin' to catch a cold?"

You grunt, not appreciating him taking the piss while you're tryig to be vulnerable, but allow him to pull the hood of Johnny's hoodie onto your head.

"No. I mean, fucked up in the head?"

You don't actually know what answer you expect. With an unreadable expression, Simon turns his head, looking through the glass door at the men crowded in the living room and waiting for you, and then stares back at you with a smirk, a permanent scowl carved into it by someone's cruel hand.

"Nah. Tha's how I like 'em."

He throws the cigarette butt away and chuckles, cupping the back of your head and pulling you inside, into the warmth of home.

"Oi, bonnie! C'mere, As saved ye a spot." There is no spot as you look at the two-story cuddle pile on the sofa and the blanket nest in front of it, unless of course... ah, yes, Johnny's patting his lap. "Ah promise Ah'll behave. Mostly."

And as his warmth envelops you through a big hug, his hands clenched humbly on your belly and behaving indeed, you feel stupidly happy.

Because you're enjoying touch again.

[holllandtrash]

6 to 1 lando and Charles finding each other after Charles took the grid penalty, awkwardly talking with y/n in the middle

bro this ended up being so much longer than i thought but i hope its okay also its not edited i just wrote it at work LOL

"Don't," you told Lando, hand going to his chest the second he stepped out of the car. His attention had already gone towards the entrance of the garage, but you were hoping your touch would remind him there were more important things at stake here.

"He ruined my lap!" Lando exclaimed after he pulled his helmet off."

"And now the FIA is investigating it so whatever you want to say, save it."

Lando didn't know that part. How could he when he had been in the car this whole time? Whereas you saw the incident when it occurred, Charles unintentionally getting in the way of Lando's flying lap. You understood why Lando was pissed, he had a right to be, but you both knew how important Monaco was for Charles.

He clenched his jaw, taking one more look at the pit lane, knowing Charles was somewhere down there. You trailed your hand upwards, pulling his face back to yours.

"Just go do media and if you're still angry after-"

"I'm not angry it's just annoying, is all," Lando scoffed. He pulled his face out of your grasp and you told yourself his actions weren't personal, he was just in a mood.

You could have let it go, had he not muttered one last thing under his breath.

"...thinks he can get away with this shit because he's from here, he's not the prince of motorsport-"

"Hey!" You snapped, your stare narrowing into an icy glare. Even a few McLaren mechanics turned to look at you with curiosity as you were never one to raise your voice at Lando, especially during a race weekend.

Lando's features only tightened more, it was clear he wasn't about to retract his statement, even if it was said in haste.

These types of moments during the races were rare. Usually, Lando and Charles got on pretty well. They respected each other and you split your time evenly between their garages. This weekend was the only time they argued over which garage you'd be in. In the end they agreed that Lando would have you for practices and Qualifying, but it was only right you were supporting Charles in the Ferrari garage at his home race.

Not like either of them asked for your opinion.

But this stupid tunnel incident was not one you had prepared for. In fact, you, along with many other people, were convinced that Lando wasn't going to get a lap in during Q3 after his brush with the barrier last session. His mechanics were magicians, apparently, and he managed to get out for a flying lap.

You texted Carlos' cousin when you heard about what happened in the tunnel, wanting to know if Ferrari was about to go up in flames. All he responses with was Xavi didn't tell Charles to move. The investigation notification came a minute later.

So yes, while Charles fucked up Lando's lap time, it wasn't his fault. And now there was a chance he was going to have to pay the price for it. The last thing you needed was your boyfriend making things worse.

Lando stood there, waiting for you to say something, waiting for you to tell him that you were on Charles' side but you just shook your head, warning him with your stare alone.

"Save. It." You repeated.

And then you left, knowing that Charles would appreciate your support much more than Lando would right now. You hung out in the Ferrari garage with Carlos for a bit when he returned from media before someone told you that Charles was chatting with Fred back in the motorhome, a closed door meeting presumably.

Clips of Lando's post-quali interview was circulating on twitter and you rolled his eyes at his suggestion to disqualify Charles. It was a joke, a painful one with maybe an ounce of truth behind it, but a joke nonetheless.

Which was a good sign. Maybe Lando had cooled off a bit. He must have if he was able to flash a faint smile for the cameras. You had seen the interviews after horrid sessions and this was not that.

An hour went by and still no one had heard anything. The two hour mark came and went and the only text you got was from Lando telling you he swiped some cheesecake from the hospitality lounge for you.

And then at the third hour, Charles stepped out of the office and came walking down the steps of the motorhome. The lines in his forehead and his lips pressed together tightly said it all.

"Three places," Charles sighed, he dropped to the couch across from you. At this point, most of the team had cleared out but you and Carlos had stayed. Charles dropped his elbows to his knees as his face fell to his hands. "Trois putains de lieux," Three fucking places.

"I'm so sorry," you said, because what else could you say? This was his home race and he qualified third. He still had a fighting chance being so close to the front but now it was ripped away.

"I just want to go home," Charles shook his head.

"Do you want me to call maman? I'm sure she's already made dinner-"

"Have you talked to Lando?" Charles cut you off, head snapping up.

Even Carlos looked at you. He too was curious, but didn't think to ask, assuming that it was probably the wrong time.

"Not since he got out of the car."

"He'll probably be celebrating in a minute," he muttered, staring past you and out the window towards the paddock. At the same time, your phone got the notification of F1's statement. Charles Leclerc takes 3-Place Grid Penalty.

"Your penalty doesn't help him at all," this was a thin line you walked on, playing devils advocate. "He's pissed yeah, but he's still stuck starting from tenth. And now you're starting sixth, no one wins."

"Max will," Carlos whispered, and then glanced between you and Charles, snapping his mouth shut. "I mean, he probably will. We all knew this."

Charles chose to ignore that comment, standing up and patting his teammate on the shoulder as he walked past, "Good luck tomorrow Carlos. I'm sure they'll give you the fighting chance strategy."

There was nothing you could do except follow him out in the paddock. He didn't want advice, he didn't want a pep talk, he wanted to go home and be angry about this because this situation had fallen so far out of his control.

The paddock had emptied for the most part at this point, a few stragglers here and there, but most drivers had gone into their debriefs and strategy planning meetings.

Most, not all.

Because just up ahead you spotted Lando walking in the same direction towards the gates. Charles shot you a look, silently telling you not to say anything or get his attention and you nodded, not wanting to stir the pot any more.

Lando probably would have just gone to his car and driven back to his flat.

But you both watched as he raised his phone up to his ear and it was only seconds later when the phone in your hand started ringing. You didn't need to look at the screen to know Lando was trying to get a hold of you.

Hearing your ringtone, Lando stopped walking and turned around. Eyes darting back and forth between you and Charles as you both approached him.

You stood between them, you had to. You didn't know if they were blaming the other or if they were going to fight or if Lando was still angry or what. There were too many variables and for everyones sake, you made sure to stand between them.

Lando shrugged sympathetically, but his words were anything but, "You don't slow down in the tunnel, mate. Everyone knows this."

"I didn't know you were behind me," Charles retorted, keeping the tone respectful.

"There are mirrors on the car."

"But not headlights."

"You don't slow down in the tunnel," Lando repeated with a sigh.

You could hear it in his voice, Lando did feel bad for Charles after seeing the harsh penalty, but he still had a right to hold a bit of a grudge.

Charles nodded, "I am sorry, Lando."

Shocked, you stared up at your brother, wondering if you had in fact heard him correctly. Charles was apologizing? For something he had no control over? Something that screwed him over?

Even Lando was susprised to hear it, taking a second for himself before responding.

"Yeah I'm sorry too," Lando nodded, reaching forward and patting the driver on the arm. "Three places is harsh."

"They should have fined the team," Charles shrugged.

"It's the Monaco curse, I guess."

You slapped the back of your hand against Lando's abdomen and even Charles rolled his eyes, hearing nothing but curse this and curse that, especially from Arthur who was now convinced it was in fact real.

"Curse or not, we both have our work cut out for us tomorrow," Charles said and the three of you started off walking again, still with you in the middle.

You stayed quiet as the drivers talked amongst yourselves but when Lando reached for your hand you looked up at him and smiled. You could breathe a little easier tonight knowing they wouldn't hold this incident against each other.

You approached Charles' Ferrari first and he unlocked the doors, nodding his head at Lando, "Are you coming to dinner?"

Lando looked at you, unsure how to answer because this was the first he had heard about dinner, "I don't-"

"You didn't invite him?" Charles asked you, brows pinched together. Every year, you spent the evening after qualifying at your maman's place for a good luck dinner, even if good luck never followed. Charles was still intent on going tonight, and was surprised to hear you didn't extend the invitation to Lando.

"I didn't know I could," you answered honestly.

"Come for dinner," Charles told Lando, no longer phrasing it as a question. He reached for the handle of the drivers side door and then pointed a finger at the Brit, "But don't even think about mentioning the curse."

You leaned into Lando's side as Charles said he'd see you in a bit and you waited until he drove off before your tilting your face upwards.

"Thank you," you said to him.

Lando kissed the top of your head, "What for?"

For saving whatever bullshit comment he really wanted to make. For not starting a fight in the middle of the paddock. For putting his own annoyances aside and seeing Charles as someone was also struggling.

"Just, thank you," you repeated. Because truthfully, there were a lot of reasons. Too many to list.

But most importantly, you were thankful to not be forced into choosing a side.

[sugar-omi]

Can I request some HC about Cove and cockwarming 👀

omfg yes you can

NSFW, gn reader, step 3 + 4 + DILF ! cove, multiple scenarios, prbly ooc bc dilf!cove is a menance over here ok, prbly ooc step 4 cove too but ion care imma babygirl him ‼️‼️

STEP 3 COVE

you can't expect an 18 year old to be normal or calm abt it

he's all whiny and tense

you're only on his dick long enough to adjust. both of you clinging onto each other and panting, tryna get used to such an intense feeling

you can try teasing him by cockwarming, but it really won't work

begs you to move, uses those big blues to try and sway you

will probably cry if you keep swirling your hips or clenching around him, he can't help but fall over the edge and lose his patience

doesnt matter if you you hold on long enough or are swayed by cove's sweet begging

but now it's your turn for your head to spin because cove thrusts up into you, holding you and hiding his face in your neck

I love the idea of him getting caught up in the moment again and flipping you over on your back and thrusting into you...

makes you finish first because I think he's totally obsessed with watching you finish, especially when you finish around him

STEP 4 COVE

you still can't expect him to be normal

but fuck does he love it

ik I haven't included switch cove n any of the other 2 scenarios (writing this bit last, yes I write backwards)

but I gotta tell you man...

he loves it sm

doesn't matter if it's a strap, loves cockwarming you

mmm, going throughout the day, splitting him open on your cock during different times of the day

please do ask him to stop doing a chore to sit in your lap, he's so weak rn

fuck, come up behind him n just slip in while he's washing dishes, he's in heaven rn

the whole day he's hard, ruined his pants w pre bc he's been in pieces the whole day

by the time you finally fuck him, he's in tears n so happy n pleased

also dies of happiness a bit when you cockwarm him

jfc doing it in the morning. or before bed, while you sleep...

is so turned on by this, sometimes he just can't do it and you'll wake up to cove squirming, apologizing but begging to fuck, begging to cum..

if he makes it through the whole night though... gets the pleasant scene of seeing you on too of him, grinding on his lap n telling him you should hurry up n finish before work<33

fuck imagine teasing him the same way dilf cove does (so spoilers lol)

n having him in your lap or you're in his, and you're tryna watch a show n you're moving your hips..

grinding on him, thrusting up into him..

either way he couldn't hold on, n now you have HIM on the coffee table or laid out on the couch, heart eyes while watching you take him while on top 🫶🫶

he's in love actually

DILF COVE

oh he does it for fun

this is a sport to him

how long can you sit on his cock until you either whine n beg, or you need to get back to the rest of the world

fuck, if you don't have kids or they're grown. he'll do it while you guys sleep<3

anyway🙈

this is almost like a punishment, n like I said, it's entirely for his entertainment n he'll fucking do it while he's watching TV or on the computer

will twist your nipple or rub your sex

kisses your sensitive neck or pushes your hips down

"sorry baby, I was grabbing a pen"

although at some point he'll surprise you by languishingly fucking you. his cock dragging against your walls...

it's so slow n such a tease n it's just enough to keep your stomach burning

omfg cockwarming while he plays a game or watches a show...

you're tryna watch this movie, but you're only half way paying attention if at all because of cove

it's a romance, or some shitty action movie with too many unnecessary sex scenes

every time the characters make out, kissing n groping each other

he's grabbing at you, groping your chest, teasingly stroking your sex, kissing you breathless..

and every sexy scenergy he thrusts up into you, holding your hips down while you cling onto his arms that are wrapped around your waist

either it ends in neither of you cumming, successfully edging yourselves until the end of the movie

or you bent over the coffee table or with your legs up, buried in the corner of the couch as cove works you both through one or two orgasms <33

just the sexual tension alone turns him on, will happily go all day, splitting you on his cock n then going about your day without cumming

fuck, he'll do it before work and then at dinner.. his younger self would've choked and died at just the thought

tells you you look so pretty cumming for him, also tells you some nasty shit like he's so pent up n can't wait to fuck you, can't wait to finish inside you

tells you he's been thinking abt it all day...

pls dilf cove so good n yet so bad for our hearts... 🫣

[amourtoken]

hi!!! listen… corruption kink!ruby with innocent! reader and its the first time hes all like just the tip and you agree. but he just gets rougher and SLAMS INTO YOU??? PLEASSSEEEE

literally squealed over this bc I was excited to write it 😭 BUT UGHHHHHH that's so hot fuck me lol I'm definitely referencing like oddy/shark attack era ruby in this bc he makes me physically sick I need him so bad btw (also this is insanely long for what it is forgive me I got excited asf. ALSO not using his real name bc I don't feel like typing the whole thing out rn maybe next time)

Cw: corruption kink and a very very inexperienced reader with a nasty ass Ruby. He's evil. Oral (f receiving), nipple play, fingering, raw sex (don't ever do this), breeding, Ruby doesn't ever shut the fuck up, loss of virginity, size kink, dacryphilia, ruby is rlly rough and i could almost consider a part of this dubcon but lets not think too hard, overstimulation, just general freak shit.

I've added some visuals/x links so you can enjoy those scenes a Lil more <3

He's always been into you because you're everything he isn't. You're the perfect little clean cut angel and to be honest a little clueless about what life really has to offer yk? You haven't experienced so much as half of what he has and probably never will, and that makes you so much softer in every way. He'd love literally nothing more than to just jam you in a glass case and protect you from the world forever, admiring you like priceless art, however-

As much as that last thought applies, he has this uncontrollable itch in his brain that plagues the hell out of his thoughts and he swears it only gets worse by the day. He could leave you as you are, untouched and perfectly innocent, or he could defile the fuck out of you. It's getting harder and harder to avoid thinking about how bad he wants to hike that pretty white sundress you wear up your hips and bend you over the nearest flat surface. He's fucked his fist to the thought of how pretty you'd look split on his dick and all the high pitched sounds you'd make, how nice his name would sound when it's being whined while you're begging him not to stop countless times by now and it's really just not cutting it anymore.

It doesn't help that you're basically clueless to your effect on him either. You love tucking yourself under his arm while you're sitting on the couch together or basically crawling up into his lap to nap with your head on his shoulder. You act like that's normal, he practically has to peel you off of him sometimes and you always pout with big puppy eyes looking up at him cause he's so comfy and had the audacity to ruin it? Unbelievable. Every time you pass out with your head on his lap he can't help but imagine lacing his fingers in your hair and gagging you on his cock till your perfect makeup is running down your cheeks. He feels so gross but fuck he really can't keep depriving himself, it'd make you feel good too, so how wrong are these thoughts of his really?

He ends up caving to his own needs finally after yet another night of scrolling your socials and jacking off to any skin you'd show in your pics which was few and far between since basically everything was relatively tasteful. He'd get lucky and come across a beach trip set of photos and edge himself for hours to the thought of you riding him in that skimpy ass bikini of yours. He decides to make a move the next time you're over cause he can't keep up this act anymore.

You come over like usual and you just so happen to be wearing an oversized shirt you'd stolen from his place a few days back, which already had him reeling. He lingers a little longer than usual when you pull him into a hug as a greeting, hands resting on your hips for just a second before you're flopping onto the couch and getting comfy while waiting on him. Thank God he smoked before you showed up because it's helping to dull the nervous energy swimming in his chest. He hopes this doesn't fuck up your friendship cause he really does love having you around, he just can't keep living in this haze and hopes you understand. You're always so sweet and understanding of everything though...this should be fine.

He takes his usual spot next to you and throws on the first movie he sees cause he really isn't even paying attention, he couldn't even if he wanted to right now. You're no stranger to physical affection from him so his hand resting on your knee didn't feel out of place. It wasn't until his fingers were brushing under the hem of your shorts that you tilted your head over at him with a confused expression.

"You trust me, right?"

Of course? You always have, you've told him before. Why is he asking again? He keeps your legs spread with his arm as his fingers keep tracing circles against your hip under your shorts. He was silent for a bit before actually responding, which was a little out of character but the butterflies in your stomach kicking up were starting to muffle any of your thoughts. You've always found him attractive but that's your best friend, of course you find him pretty. He'd never want anything else to do with you that wasn't platonic. Right? His fingers brushing against the lace edge of your white panties is surely platonic.

your legs fall open when one slides off the couch and Ruby ofc takes this as an opportunity to take things further. You look so pretty like this, your eyes are glued to his face while his hands work on your lower half, he brushes his thumb over your clit through your panties and you yelp in suprise, grabbing his wrist to stop him. The feeling spread through your whole body like electricity, it wasn't something you were used to at all. You instantly started fumbling over your words explaining you've never done this before, no one's ever touched you this way, hell you hadn't even done it yourself. All of this information went straight to Ruby's cock. He knew you were inexperienced but this is a whole new level of purity to him, and he can't fucking wait to ruin you.

"'s fine baby you don't have to do anything but trust me. I'll make you feel good, promise."

He hooked his fingers around the waistband of your shorts and drug them down your legs with your panties leaving you completely bare for him. You hadn't done this before but you were fucking dripping for him in anticipation already (or nerves. Either way your heart was racing). He pulled the edge of his oversized shirt up your torso and had you hold it in your teeth to keep it out of the way, it was also a good way to muffle any of the sounds you were making. He'd never seen you completely naked so this was a fucking treat to him, he felt like a wolf staring down a lamb in the moment cause you looked beyond delicious in every way. He really couldn't deny himself a taste. Ruby used what little patience he had to tease you and really draw out the moment. The couch really didn't have much room so he took a spot on his knees on the floor and gripped your hips, adjusting you to face him with your legs wide open and shirt still caught between your teeth. He brushed his hands up and down your thighs a few times before spreading your pussy with his thumbs so he could get the best angle when he buried his face in it. Your back immediately arched off the couch and your hands flew to his hair, tangling in it and pulling harshly out of instinct. He groaned against you but didn't stop, licking wide stripes from your entrance back up to your clit repeatedly. God you were already trembling, he was gonna have so much fun with you.

you were already panting and whining just from his tongue but when he edged a single finger into you, your head falls back against the couch and you moan his name in such a pretty tone it has his cock twitching in his sweats. You were so tight around him he really worried if he'd even be able to fuck you tonight, he could make it fit one way or another though. Ruby was working another finger into you and pulled back to watch how you gripped him so fucking tight, he didn't leave you untouched though, his free hand rubbing slow circles against your clit that had you bucking almost involuntarily against him. Your thighs were shaking so bad when he hooked his fingers inside you to hit spots you didn't even know existed, he had your eyes rolling back so far into your skull you were dizzy. Ruby was nearly entranced by the whole ordeal, watching you literally drip down his fingers and wrist like a faucet. It's a shame no one else got to experience this first cause now there's no way he's ever letting someone else feel you, taste you, any of it. As far as he's concerned you're branded.

"Feels good, huh baby? Can't believe you've never done this. Gonna touch yourself thinkin' about me after we're done? Gonna call me and beg me to come fill this pussy up? Yeah?"

"Can't fuck you right till you cum on my fingers, don't wanna hurt you. You're almost there, just relax- fuck you're so tight-"

"Gonna fuckin ruin you for everyone else. You're mine."

Ruby presses a big hand to your lower stomach and you whimper like a dog, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. It felt like there was so much pressure inside you, it ran all the way up your spine and down your legs. He leaned back in to suck at your clit and you could barely catch your breath. The coil in your belly kept tightening until you were pulling at his hair and begging him for a break cause the feeling was so intense and foreign but he didn't stop cause he knew everything you didn't. You came around his fingers with nothing short of a scream, he figured his apartment neighbors would bitch at him and complain about the noise but he'd happily take a noise complaint if that means he can watch you convulse and sob through an orgasm he forced you through again. You were shaking and whimpering, hot tears running down your cheeks while he scissored his fingers inside you working you open and letting you enjoy the aftershocks in the moment. By then you figured you were done, nothing tops that right? Your head was laid back against the cushions and your eyes were closed while you tried to catch your breath but in Ruby's eyes you were barely even started. You only opened your eyes when you felt the tip of his cock slap against your clit making you jolt.

He was fucking huge, you thought his fingers were a stretch but this? He must be joking if he thinks that's gonna fit inside you. You whined about being sensitive and how he was too big but he was quick to reassure you he'd take care of you.

"Just the tip, I promise. You trust me right? You know I can make you feel good baby just let me-"

you hissed at the stretch when he slid in like he promised, he didn't even need extra lube cause you were still drenched from earlier. You couldn't help but squirm a little, the burn of overstimulating still very present at your core. Ruby was upholding his promise for now but fuck the way you gripped his cock and how warm and tight you felt around him, he definitely couldn't stand it for long. He tried to distract himself a little by letting his hands roam your body, fingers teasing your nipples until they were peaked and sore. He tried to fit another inch inside but you whined and pressed your hands against his chest to stop his movements, not that he could've moved much anyway with how tight you were, he's just running out of patience very quickly. He resorted to just rocking his hips slowly, pulling out entirely before just fitting the tip back in and it felt great but fuck it wasn't nearly enough.

Ruby's hand reached between you to tease your clit again, easing a little more of himself into you but was still met with whines and cries and squirming. He knows he promised it'd be just the tip but you can't blame him for breaking this single promise, right? Your whines were cut off when he pressed a hand over your mouth and you looked like a little deer in headlights in that moment which almost made him reconsider but fuck you'd forgive him later. You whined and near sobbed against his hand when he sank balls deep into you in a single thrust. You felt so fucking full you could barely move, the stretch caused an awful ache through your whole body but once you calmed down a little Ruby brushed his thumb over your bottom lip, letting it catch between your teeth and press against your tongue while he finally got to fuck you how he needed. He really tried to keep a slow rhythm but he couldn't stop himself from fucking into you like he was trying to split you in half, his arms tight around your legs to keep you steady. (Vis.)

you felt fucking divine around his cock, like you were made for him. He hoped he'd last longer but the way you gripped him was the end of him, he'd been aching while eating you out so of course he was already on edge. When he came he leaned over you, folding you nearly in half and you whimpered when you felt him nudge your cervix as he spilled into you enough to drip down your ass onto the couch beneath you. He'd clean it later. Right now he was more focused on feeling you cum around his cock, even though he'd already finished he felt like you deserved more for letting him fuck you like this. He pressed himself deep into you and started a fast pace rubbing circles on your clit until you were shaking and crying out his name in that pretty little tone of yours.

"G-good fucking girl- good girl- fuck baby that's it, that's good- cum for me again? Please you're so close, cum on my cock baby girl- let go"

You definitely followed his words cause you came so hard black spots flooded your whole field of view, you sank your nails into his wrist trying to steady yourself but your whole body felt like it was electrified. Ruby rocked his hips gently against yours to really draw the feeling out as he leaned down to press kisses to your jaw and cheek. He finally pulled out and sat back to watch his cum drip out of your abused hole, feeling satisfied with himself. You were fucking spent, panting and laying back on the couch with a sheen of sweat making your hair stick to your forehead and his shirt still tugged up to reveal your whole body to him. He'd stay in this moment for fucking ever If he could, but there's so much more he wants to do to you once you recover. He's got plenty to show you.

[dreaming-about-fanfictions]

seeing stars. ~ azriel x reader (smut)

Summary: You knew better than taking his hand and sneaking away with him from the ball - but you didn't care.

Warning: smut, also this is my 1st acotar fic (is that a warning lol?)

Words: about 500, didn't count, sorry

Pairing: Azriel x human!reader

***

It's an unexpected sight - Azriel before you, eager, wanting, pleading.

It's a sight you could get used to.

When lightning strikes above Velaris, your room lights up for a split second and the hunger in his eyes sends shivers down your spine. Thunder rumbles and your lips meet again.

You know that you shouldn't have come here, shouldn't have taken his hand when he offered it to you. The Spymaster of the Night Court is nothing if not dangerous and you knew better - but you didn't care.

"Stop thinking," he murmurs and your mouth is not capable of replying, so you let your hips speak instead. They roll forwards, drawing the most delicious moan from his lips. Another shiver down your spine as you drink up the sight of him, seeing his eyes flutter, his breath hitch, his muscles tense. Fuck. Whatever the consequences will be for sneaking away from the ball with him - it's all worth it.

"Princess," he whispers and now it's you who whimpers by the sound of your title rolling off his tongue. "Didn't I tell you to stop thinking?"

You smirk. Azriel might be Fae and you're only human but in the end, he is still only a male. "Make me," you reply and with that, he flips you over. You breath in sharply as your head lands on the soft pillow and then there is a sound and suddenly his wings unfurl, blocking out any light that's left in this room.

"Cocky for a human," he mumbles and you want to reply, want to tell him what else this human is, but then he begins to move.

The laughter that wanted to escape your lips, turns into a moan. He catches it, his mouth moving hungrily against your own as he thrusts into you. Everything arounds you begins to blur until there is only the feeling of his fingers on your skin and him inside of you left. A knot begins to tighten in your body. It tightens and tightens and with each teasing comment, with each grunt and moan, it doesn't take long for you to see stars in front of your eyes. You come, back arching, his name on your lips and he follows shortly after and fuck, this image of him will never leave your mind.

In fact, you are certain that he now completely ruined you for any possible human suitor you're parents will choose for you.

He's still breathing heavily when he rests his forehead against yours.

"Velaris, City of Starlight, huh?"

He raises an eyebrow at your statement. You grin and let your fingers run through his hair. "Well, you sure as hell made me see stars tonight."

Azriel snorts. He snorts. "You're trying to prove the statement that mortals were never known for their sense of poetry, Princess?"

You almost miss it, in the darkness. But lightning strikes again in the perfect moment and there it is - the corners of his lips curling up. The softest of smiles.

Another unexpected sight. Another sight you could get used to.

"Want me to make you see even more stars?"

***

send me an ask and i'll write you a blurp

[lowkeyrobin]

Hi! Sorry to annoy you, but can you maybe write a story about Maleficent and Hades's other child? She ( or whatever gender ) is Mal's sister, and they genuinely have a good relationship, but she grew up with Hades. She and Hades were like best friends. She had black and blue hair to match him and her mom. She was neglected by Maleficent, because Maleficent always paid more attention to Mal and in turn it caused a lot of arguments between her and Hades, causing their split up. Fast Forward, the reader, Chloe, and Red go back in time, and the reader sees her parents so in love and happy. She is filled with bitterness seeing them, but also longing, cause she never really got to know her mom. She tried keeping her distance and helping Chloe and Red. Little did she know, she caught her parents attention, who were trying to figure out the confusing person with dark black and blue hair. But the reader mostly got the attention of Maleficent. I don't know what else, except maybe make it angsty, but in the end make it sweet. Again, I kept saying 'she' but it could be gender neutral, if you want of course! I've never requested a story before, so this feels weird. But thank you! :)

this is definitely a long one but it's okay lol ; also dw about sending long reqs (that goes to everyone) but maybe use the small font cause I do go back and look over when I'm writing / it's a bit of a scroll for others but it's totally okay!! ; but I can definitely try to do this, this seems really cool! ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy! ; this is kinda one run-on sentence but I really don't care 😔🙏

HADES & MALEFICENT ; a sense of belonging

summary ; as you go back in time to stop qoh's coup, you see your parents at merlins academy and catch attention of them, though they don't know who you are

warnings ; language, mentions/talk of parental neglect / arguing / stuff like that

track ; lonely is the muse, halsey

word count ; 1.2k

masterlist

You didn't go a day without blaming yourself for your parent's breakup. You were never enough for your mom. Never evil enough. You never listened. You were your father's kid, you guessed. Thankfully, you and your sister were still close, your parents never having put a hole in your relationship.

Though, seeing them here, like this, before you and Mal, it made your heart shatter. They were highschool sweethearts. You never knew that.

They seemed so in love, they seemed happy. It was like your entire existence ruined them entirely. Forget the underlying issues between them, you were the problem. You'd always be the problem.

You shouldn't have come. You couldn't fix history. You didn't even know why you lunged at Red while she tried to disarm Chloe. You saw that pocketwatch, you should've assumed it would do something. Though, you wouldn't blame Red, she had good intentions to stop her mother from becoming a tyrant. Messing with time and history would come with consequences, though, you just didn't know how yet.

But it didn't matter in this moment.

As you stand before Maleficent and Hades next to Red and Chloe, all you can feel is the numbness inside your heart. You could feel your heart constricting inside your body, like it was actively shattering here and now. They stand behind Uliana, her hand held in his.

It didn't matter to you that you were one of the first VK's to attend Auradon Prep, or that you helped outsmart Uma and save the king, or that you helped Mal's final decision to open up the Isle for good, you'd forever be a windchime in the window, catching mean, snarky comment that was thrown your way. You would always reassemble yourself to fit the perfect view of how your parents saw you. To Maleficent, a gift from Hades himself, sadly. To Hades, the best kid he could've ever asked for, even if he didn't agree with every decision you'd made in life.

You would just exist to decorate every miserable moment of their lives, including the past now, apparently. You were the muse to their world-renowned painter, the lonely muse who would forever be forgotten after being discarded, ar least to your mother. You couldn't begin to process what awful time paradox you were creating here.

As you walk away, following Chloe and Red back to the dorms to plan, your head hangs low. The past few minutes of actions had been erased from your kind as you blacked out, trapped in your thoughts. Your eyes has glazed over entirely, blindly following the duo you'd been dragged to the past with.

Your mother hissed at the audience who'd witnessed Uliana's fall into the enchanted fountain, something she did to scare you. Thank God she was a lizard now. Hades held his ember tight, his eyes fixed on you as you walked away.

Lonely is the muse.

You didn't know how or why, but you'd caught the attention of your parents.

The following afternoon, you decided to separate from Red and Chloe while they went to visit Bridget in her dorm, needing to borrow some powerful cookbook. You needed some air. You felt so heavy and held down here.

You run a hand over your navy blue and black hair, sitting in front of the fountain alone. You wanted to cry but there was no effort, no amount of emotion, left to do so.

You hated your mother because of how she treated you. You hated because you grieved the fact that you never knew her. She didn't tell you bedtime stories of her wicked past, she didn't teach you spells or how to be evil, you didn't know the damndest thing about her. You were always just a figment of her life to be tossed aside for her golden child, Mal. You spent years trying to become everything she'd ever wanted, and failed. Over and over. You were never enough for her.

You'd caught her attention here though. You were perfectly out of place for her to finally bat an eye to your presence. How ironic.

She slowly approaches from behind, her head slightly tilted, one arm crossed over her chest, her other hand held close to her face. She didn't know what to say, she just wanted to know who you were. You seemed so distantly familiar.

You quickly look over your shoulder, sensing her presence. She always felt like that, she always gave you that sixth sense. You walked on eggshells your whole life because of her. Her presence alone sent shivers up your spine.

"May I ask who you are?" she asks. "Where are you from, exactly?"

You blink, knowing you can't answer wholeheartedly. You couldn't tell her you were her kid, Y/n, one of two that she had with Hades on the Isle of the Lost.

"My name's Y/n. I'm... a transfer student. Far away place" you nod, quickly finding an excuse to give her, hoping she wouldn't see through you.

She slowly nods. "Your hair... I've never seen one of you with such a unique color. It doesn't look very... hero-like"

You glance back at Hades, who leans against a wall out of earshot, tossing his ember about. "Uh, yeah," you awkwardly chuckle. "I wouldn't say I'm a hero."

"Oh?" she smirks, quickly thinking to recruit you for whatever reason.

"I'm not staying for long," you quickly reply.

She nods, her smirk fading away. "Nice meeting you, I guess"

You nod, watching as she spins on her heels, returning to Hades, their hands intertwined as they depart, leaving you at the fountain alone again. You watch as they walk away, feeling the last fragments of your taped-together heart ripping apart.

All you wanted was to save that picture in your mind forever. To see them so content, to see them so proud of themselves. You really did ruin them. You'd ruin them in every timeline, and you couldn't fix it. You'd forever live knowing you broke them apart.

You did that to them.

And all you did was watch.

You knew you belonged with them, you knew you were supposed to be evil and follow in their footsteps. But you failed the moment you were born. Something just threw you off to her.

She couldn't ever love you.

At least she could pretend for Mal.

But what did you get? Nothing. Not even a thank you for trying to give her a second chance in that coronation hall. Not even a glance. You were invisible to her.

But here, you weren't invisible.

She wanted to know your name.

That was the most you'd ever gotten from her in your twenty years of life.

But you couldn't do anything. You couldn't ruin this for them so early on. You couldn't change their story to try and fix yourself. It doesn't work like that, you knew that. But something deep down inside wanted you to just reach out and make the most of it while you could.

You just wanted to know her. You just wanted to feel the warmth of her cold voice congratulating you for stealing candy from a baby or for scaring someone away, or lighting them on fire. It didn't matter. You wanted to make her proud. You watched on for years as Mal was her center of attention. Nothing you did was worthy for her to be proud of.

But here? You could make a difference.

A difference that wasn't worth making.

[luffyvace]

BSD character’s reactions to screwing up they’re first date with you ( T_T)＼(^-^ )

Includes (most) the ada and port mafia <3

they’ll be pretty short since it’s a lot of characters :P (these exclude kyoka, Q and lemon thing aka kajii)

ADA

Fukuzawa 🗡

he’s probably slightly embarrassed but knowing him I’m sure it wasn’t too bad of a screw up

in fact it was probably a minor embarrassing moment that happened

it was silence for a split second before you two changed subjects from what happened

the date went pretty smoothly after that

the typa detail that gets left out when you talk about how the date went

Ranpo 👓

he’ll probably realize what’s gonna happen to ruin the date before it does, and either act to make sure it doesn’t

or smoothly addresses it and moves on

just cuz he’s like that 😎🤷‍♀️ (LOL)

but if something he doesn’t predict happens that crashes your date he’ll be pretty butt hurt

like? How come the worlds greatest detective didn’t see through this??

🙄

you likely end up assuring him it’s fine and continue the date

he sulks and eats snacks when he gets home

your probability of still going on the next date anyway is 89% but he’s still mad that happened

Yosano🥼

she will be pretty bummed out and will starting drinking wine mid date

she may ask if you want some

she’s not sulking or anything but if like where y’all was gonna go is booked/closed you end up just going to some open public area and talking

about how this sucks, what you’ll do next date, if you can do something last minute, that you both doubt you’ll try and go there for a date again and eventually to lighter topics like your hobbies n such

but yeah the date decently recovers

kunikida🤓

YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS MAN IS UTTERLY ENRAGED

in all seriousness he’s s t r e s s i n g

he kinda panics because he planned this out so perfectly and now it’s ruined??

over course he has a back up plan down to z but it’s was supposed to go PERFECT.

(if dazai ruined it for you two he’s gonna choke him out as soon as he sees him)

eventually he stops mumbling and pacing and just takes you to plan b

which actually goes really well!

thankfully it ended in his favor but he’s still gonna spend everyday of his like repenting his first date

because you were his first date with anyone ever

and it was….spoiled. 😀

Dazai💀

you already know mr. slick bounced back immediately

like he went “oh well” and took you to do something else without batting an eye

made it just as fun as the original activity was gonna be

you’d think he had a plan b in mind but he indeed did not

he just had the money to make it look like it 😉

smooth operator 🤪😚

Tanizaki😅

apologizes like a million times

he didn’t mean to ruin it!!

especially if this is your first date too

cuz this is definitely his seeing as though Naomi won’t let him date nobody else 😃😅

(you only got away with him bc Naomi likes you /j)

you guys probably end up walking around and get some ice cream

sitting on a bench and talking

a cat came up to you two and you pet them

All in all it ended peacefully !! <3

(he sulked to Naomi but was grateful things still went alright)

naomi💗

she went “awwww” 🙁

you all likely end up in a arcade and eat some snacks too

You guys use the money you were gonna spend at the original place

it still ends up being pretty fun but you can tell she’s bummed out

you give her a kiss on the cheek at the end of the date to make her feel better 💖

(she immediately perks up)

Kenji🐄

he was kinda like “that stinks” but didn’t even seem sad about it

you two rerouted but couldn’t find anything to do

so you pretty much ended up wandering

not either of you mind, passerby we’re really kind to you and gave you free stuff

At least you didn’t leave empty handed 🤷‍♀️😋

atsushi🐯

your his first ever date- canon.

so when he realizes he (wasn’t his fault but he feels like it anyway) blew it, he’s utterly disappointed

he explains this is his first date and he wanted it to be special, even more so since it was with someone so cool like you

you hear him out, patting his back and giving him head pats to make him feel better

he even went out of his way to buy some new clothes 😞

you tell him it’s okay but he doesn’t feel that way

he asks if there’s anyway he can make it up to you and insists to buy you something before you go

he gets you something you picked out from a shop

although he’s practically hyperventilating over whether you’ll ghost him or not since he screwed it up

PM

Mori💉

another smooth one

i doubt whatever store/place you were trying to go to was closed because he could just pay to open it back up

so it’s likely something embarrassing/awkward happened instead

HE PROBABLY TOOK ELISE AND SHE SAID SMTH 😂😂😂😂

anyway

if so he immediately corrects her then deactivates his ability……

he wanted her to come on the date so he could take her in the future and have you be used to it

clearly that talk he had about not saying private stuff went in one ear and out the other

he apologizes for whatever inconvenience happened and does what every rich man does :)

throws money at the problem :)

no fr y’all went to every shop and he bought you what you wanted from it

(Hey just the for the record I don’t condone mori’s behavior and i genuinely don’t know why the creator did that—they coulda just left that out he coulda been so much better🧍‍♀️)

Hirotsu👔

he doesn’t let little things bother him, but a date with someone that’s important to him?

and it gets ruined??

now that’s kinda disappointing

he formally apologizes and asks if there’s anything you have in mind or like to do for compensation

or maybe if it’s not that drastic he’ll just apologize and try to direct the conversation else where

he isn’t sweating it or anything but the blunder was a pain for a hot second

either way he gets through it without letting it stop the entire date as a whole

Koyo👘

is really embarrassed for 3 hot secs before she collects herself, sighing

Is blushing a bit when she asks if your upset and apologizes

she likely planned this date and told you not to worry about it because things like this wasn’t so supposed to happen

luckily for her she switched from her original idea to something else, so now that that hasn’t worked out she can go back

from there the date returns to smooth sailing

she spoils you and tries to get you forget as much as possible

she especially doesn’t want that getting on her reputation if you work at the PM as well

Chuuya🥂

really irritated and swears under his breath while facing away from you

tries to make it look like he has it under control but he’s kinda freaking out

he liked you so much he really wanted this to go well :/

In the end he can’t think of anything and ends up muttering an apologizing before suggesting to go get some wine together

gets even more embarrassed if your not a drinker

he’s mentally slapping himself at this point

you probably end up pitching in and throwing an idea out there yourself, to which your idea works and the rest of the night is really fun! ;3

he keeps mentioning how good your idea was because it totally saved him

He’s happy when he walks through the door of his place, but when he remembers he blew it he gets upset again

spends the rest of the night drinking and thinking about it hoping you still wanna date him

Higuchi🔫

she is a lover who wants to do everything for the one she loves

so finally landing a date with you and blowing it is like her whole world exploding 💥

she becomes frantic in apologizing asking how to make it up to you

even if it was just a minor thing

if she can turn things around she still feels successful but makes precautions not to let that happen again

if not she’s totally bawling her eyes out to gin about it

she does her best to get on your good side before asking for another date

Tachihara⚔️

gets a bit flustered and sheepishly looks at you to see if it bothered you

his reaction depends on yours

if you start complaining about how much of a bummer it is he’ll start to feel bad

he tries to cheer you up and suggests to move to something else

but if your calm n cool about it so is he

he kinda shrugs one shoulder and says “so what now/wanna do somethin’ else instead?”

Akutagawa🧥

*coughs*

”err..guess the place is closed. I checked yesterday and they were open so this must be a fluke..”

he probably awkwardly stands there from there

if your response is too negative he’ll apologize for wasting your time and offer to drive you home

he will likely hesitate before asking you on a date again and makes sure everything is perfect this time

”curse the weretiger” (you hear him mumble this like it’s a swear word before you close the door to your house)

If you don’t mind as much you two will probably just end up chatting somewhere

it ends with him apologizing anyway

(say you enjoyed talking with him and you might be met with wide eyes and a little blush on his face <3)

Gin☺️

blushes, stammers and apologizes like crazy

she feels really ashamed since this is your first date and something went wrong

she covers her mouth with her hand to sort of “hide” out of embarrassment

she even took off her mask and dressed up all cute for you!! :(

luckily! She brought you a gift !

you ended up really liking it and you hugged her for it, which made her feel a bit better

you ask to return the favor by buying her something too

she insists you don’t have to but you end up doing it anyway

you wrap your arm around each other’s waist while you walk which was pretty romantic :)

you kiss her atop her forehead before separating to head home

(if your not in the PM or can’t physically hand yourself—she probably follows you home from a distance, BUT NOT IN A CREEPY WAY. In a ‘she wants to know your home safe’ loving way)

she squeals when she gets home and tells ryuunosuke about the highs and lows of your date 💗

yes as I said pretty short but these were mostly a trial run for fun :)

again this is just me branching out and expirmenting ;P hopes to you enjoyed!!

[ghostykapi]

breaking point

yoo jeongyeon & fem!reader // happy birthday to my jeongi u are like a precious soul that i will forever n ever have a special place in my heart. so sorry i ended up making smut LOL / minors dni

when you and your girlfriend are out on a lunch date, is it normal to split a chocolate with an extra aphrodisiac kick in it?

probably not, but for shits and giggles you pretend it is.

“this is” you stare at the chocolate, then up at your girlfriend’s face “probably one of the most sane ideas you had this week”

“sane?” jeongyeon loves getting under your skin, probably with the way how she knows she’s got you under her later “since when we’re we sane?”

“that you have a good point in” you give in to her idea, taking a bite of the chocolate “i think there’s a bit of strawberries in this”

“strawberries can be an aphrodisiac” jeongyeon thinks about it though, but then says “i’m not sure though so maybe it’s just to help it taste better?”

“chocolate already tastes good sweetie” you both finish your halves, before stepping out of the car to go into the quiet restaurant booked for the date “this better kick in slow”

it did not kick in slow

10 minutes in sitting in the restaurant, you could feel the primal urges start to rise. teeth aching, hands getting a little to fidgety, that wetness starting to make an appearance and that urge to absolutely lose it.

so 10 minutes in? you were a mess

jeongyeon’s patience is outstanding you would say. even now when your eyes are narrowing down on her lips, hands and neck, she’s still innocently smiling and making her no jam jokes.

she’s the kinder one between you too. with her angel like disposition in contrast to your more, probably unhinged, no bullshit personality. always spoiling you, always giving you what you want, always with that sweet sweet smile that makes you melt

so yeah in 10 minutes she’s still alright, still so patient and so sweet

and yet she’s already asking for the food to be packed to go because “oh sorry an emergency came up.” and helping you up into the car

give it another 10 minutes you both are in your shared apartment, her biting down on the flesh of your thighs as she has you spread out on the couch

give it barely another few minutes for her to start eating you out though like you’re her actual lunch

“baby baby babyyy” you are a ruined piece of art at this point, jeongyeon thinks as she’s eating you out, pussy stuffed with three fingers in.

“i know i know baby” she’s a little bit mean, but you love to see her laugh maniacally while pumping you full “i’ve got you baby just keep on taking it baby that’s it”

“hngg-ugh fuck” you aren’t trying to boost her ego, but the way she’s got your head thrown back, legs shaking and eyes watering? fuck you’ve got her head right up high

“you can take more right?” as much as you want to stop, you know yourself better. you know you want more

“‘m wan more” you cry out, in broken and high pitched moans “please! break me!”

she breaks.

by the time she’s got you through 3 orgasms in that position, she’s lying down and got you riding her face, her arms locking your hips in place as she moans against your pussy, her own thighs shaking as you play with the vibrator stuffed in her own

“sweetheart–oh fuck! jesus right there baby–gods you look so–hnggg ughh–you look so good eating me out” you’re head is a mess, but looking at your girlfriend looking like this makes you say a lot of things

she can barely reply back to you, too pussy drunk and too focused on the pleasure she’s both giving and taking

“can’t be the only one cummin’ aroun’ here sweetie” is what you say before maxing out the vibrator and getting enough orgasms out of her, and before she forces you down to fucks you with a strap

so yeah is it normal to split a chocolate with an extra aphrodisiac kick in it?

if you’re looking to make yoo jeongyeon break into her primal wants? sure

[nessinborderland]

V-E-N-U-S (02)

Pairing: Rafe x plus size!Reader

Genre: smut, dark-ish fic

Word Count: 6 ,2k

Warnings ⚠️ Mildly Dubious Consent, Enemies to Lovers, more like Enemies to Enemies That Fuck tbh, Rafe Cameron Being an Asshole, mentions of bullying, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Rough Sex, Mentions of death of a parent, Drinking, Drug Use, Rafe needs therapy asap, fatphobia, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary: The nickname he had given you in 8th grade was supposed to be ironic. In Rafe’s defense, he used to be a pretty stupid and cruel fourteen-year-old, as most kids that age are. So yeah, nicknaming the fat and nerdy chick Venus – like the goddess of sex and beauty – had been pretty hilarious in young Rafe's opinion.

What he would've never guessed was how much that name would fit you now as a grown woman.

Notes: This chapter ended up being an over 10k words beast, so I had to split it in two lol. Enjoy 💖 and please reblog and leave me a comment if you like, I would love to know what are your thoughts on this ff.

AO3 | Masterlist | Part 1

Leaving that room after you fucked Rafe Cameron had felt a lot like your ‘walk of shame’ debut. It was like a beam of light shone down on you, following you as you rushed down the stairs into the foyer and out of the house. You could feel the stares of partygoers – at least the ones sober enough to realize what had transpired between you – and the whispers and giggles as you passed by them couldn’t be ignored.

You cursed Rafe for the hundredth time that night – knowing how gossip went around the island, it would be common knowledge by the next day’s afternoon that something had happened between you and the Kook Prince.

Something you had instantly come to regret.

It had all been your fault.

Your first mistake was thinking that teasing Rafe Cameron would be a good idea. The furtive looks, the coy smiles, the light seducing – it had all been part of your plan. You wanted to watch him squirm, to have him pay in some way for all he had done to you in high school. He would never apologize, and you would never forgive him, but having at least some power over him would be enough.

Or so you thought.

Nothing was supposed to come out of it besides the blond’s frustration and the sweet taste of revenge on your tongue as you rejected his advances again and again. You wanted to make him mad with want and, in a way, you suppose you had succeeded.

You just never expected to fall for your own game.

You couldn’t deny it though; sex with Rafe had been amazing. You were no sex goddess by any means – despite your nickname – but you knew for a fact that none of the guys you had sex with before could ever compare to the dick that had quite possibly ruined your sex life.

The intensity in his eyes when he had fucked you hard and deep, the way his big hands had smoothed over your curves, the way he had filled you up and touched that magical spot just right, how he had kissed you… it was like you could still feel it all, from your trembling legs to your still racing heart.

A flush of heat crept up your chest and cheeks at the memories, making you open up your light jacket despite the chilly night air.

Your legs felt like jelly, your hair was a tangled mess, your skin was no doubt starting to bruise from his love bites, and you knew for a fact that you would be sore the next morning. The wet mess between your folds was hard to ignore, and you would have to say goodbye to your cute – but now ruined – bikini bottom as soon as you got home.

You shook your head at your own stupidity; why the hell had you let him get inside you without a condom on? You knew better than that! Thank God you were on the pill, though. That was one less thing for you to worry about.

You moaned in discomfort as you sat on the curb right in front of the house, refusing to look back despite the heavy feeling of being watched.

Fucking perv.

When he asked you to see him again, the look in his eyes made you wonder how much longer you would regret this little adventure. You weren’t even that drunk, to begin with, so what demon had possessed you to do something as foolish as getting in bed with Rafe Cameron?

A text notification made your phone vibrate, and you opened it to read your cousin’s text.

‘omw. u ok?’ it read. You texted him back a thumbs-up emoji, already knowing he would probably ask you several questions when he finally arrived.

John B had called and texted a few times after Rafe had taken your phone from you, asking what was going on and if you were okay, with – obviously – no response. But your baby cousin wasn’t one to dramatically worry over you, and you were glad for that. His last text had been a simple ‘call me back when you can’ followed by ‘or I’ll send the rescue team’.

Thankfully for you, you were done with Rafe before John B worried too much, and you were sending him a text asking him to come get you as soon as you were dressed and with your phone back in your possession.

You bit the nail on your thumb as you wondered how your cousin would react to the exciting news of your rendezvous with Rafe Cameron.

In one word: badly. After everything the blond had done to him, his friends, and Sarah – done to you – there was no doubt in your mind that John B would go berserk over it. Not to mention JJ, you thought with a grimace. That boy would gladly try to kill Rafe with his bare hands any day of the week if he could get away with it; but after hearing about this?

Absolute chaos.

And that was why you sincerely hoped that the rumors of tonight’s activities never reached their ears. Wishful thinking, you were well aware. You and Rafe just tended to draw too much attention when you were in the same vicinity, for some reason, and even your family knew you didn’t get along. The downside of always fighting him in public, you suppose.

Like on cue, a honk and a flash of light broke you out of your thoughts, and you stood up as the Twinkie rolled down the street till it stopped right by the house, your cousin in the driver’s seat waving at you with a tight smile on his lips.

“Thanks for picking me up, Bibi,” you said in greeting as you opened the door and sat on the passenger seat, reclining against the leather seat with a wince that your cousin thankfully didn’t seem to notice.

The van was empty besides the two of you. Good, you thought as you glanced back at the house – where music and loud voices could be heard even from outside, the party still going strong despite being almost three in the morning. You didn’t think you would be able to face Sarah Cameron right now; or any of the others, for that matter.

“No problem,” John B said as he started driving away. “Why didn’t you answer my calls, though? Got worried when that guy took your phone.”

“Sorry,” you said with a grimace, hoping he would just accept your apology without asking further questions. “I just got busy talking and didn’t notice your calls. You know I can’t shut up if someone brings up my favorite series.”

He hummed, not sounding totally convinced. It made you nervous just a little. “As long as you’re okay…” He sent you a side glance. “A Kook party, though? Thought you didn’t do those, with the chance of running into him and all that…”

“Oh, you know me, just trying to broaden my horizons and find out how the one percent lives.” You snorted, set on ignoring his last sentence. “And they live pretty damn well. Heated pools, bathrooms bigger than my bedroom, and, not surprisingly, a whole lot of coke. Not gonna lie, might do just like you and get me a Kook. Is Sarah looking for another sugar baby?”

John B chuckled at your words, lightly punching you in the arm.

“Ha ha ha, Sarah is not my sugar mommy.”

“Of course, keep telling yourself that,” you laughed, playfully pulling at the collar of his shirt. “But I know good clothes when I see them, and I also know you can’t afford them, so…”

“Fine, this was a gift, okay?” He swatted your hand away, and his expression slowly returned to one of mild worry. “So, nothing happened, right? Was it a fun party? You do look like you had a good time…”

You couldn’t help but notice that it sounded more like a question than a statement, and you wondered if he could notice you had fucked his nemesis not even fifteen minutes ago. You shook the thoughts away; he couldn’t possibly know already and, hopefully, he never would.

You looked at him with a raised brow.

“Is this your attempt at an interrogation, cuz?”

He scoffed, but his ears started turning red. “Of course not, I’m just asking.”

“If you really want to know, yes, Rafe was there, and yes, he was an asshole the whole time. But I can’t resist a good fight where he’s involved, so what was I supposed to do? Leave?” You scoffed like it was a ridiculous option. “Someone got to slap that smug smirk off his face, and it might as well be me.”

“Damn right,” he laughed, the sound sounding forced. Then his brow furrowed, and his smile dropped. “Hmm… was he the guy that took your phone, by any chance?”

You froze, meeting his eye through the rearview mirrors.

“What?” you asked with an awkward chuckle. “What makes you say that?”

“Well, I was with Sarah when you called and she could swear it was her brother on the phone,” he clarified with a shrug. Then he hesitated, unsure of what to say before adding, “So, was he?”

“Yeah,” you confessed in a nonchalant tone. “He was just messing with me, though, nothing out of the ordinary for him.”

“Okay, cool, cool.” He paused for a moment, then spoke again, “He hasn’t been too bad, right? We all know what he’s capable of, and sometimes I just worry he will get too far. He always had this weird little obsession with fucking with you.” Oh, you have no idea, Bibi. “You know you can tell me and the guys if he ever crosses the line, right?”

“You got nothing to worry about, B,” you eased with a pat on his arm. “We both know he can’t hurt me anymore. Besides, I can fight.”

He laughed at your words, visibly relaxing, and you let out a deep sigh as he reached for the radio, Bob Marley’s voice filling the van with the lyrics of ‘Could You Be Loved’ and finally putting an end to this conversation.

«»«»«»«»«»

Working at The Island Club was usually a bearable affair. The money could be better, but the team was good, the hours weren’t bad, and the work – although exhaustive most days – was doable. The clients – mostly Kooks and tourists – weren’t that bad either and, more importantly, tipped well.

All in all, a job was a job, and you liked this one for the most part. You had mouths to feed and bills to pay after all, so it was not like you had a choice in the matter. You needed to work if you wanted to finally get into college sometime next year. You were thankful this job even let you have enough free time to focus on writing your novel.

However, today was turning into a rather hellish shift.

The party had been almost a week ago, and you had come to realize something.

Sleeping with Rafe Cameron had been a mistake. Not just a simple one, no – but a huge fucking mistake. One that would haunt you for the rest of your life (like a part of you knew it would). You could see that now. You had never regretted a stupid decision as much as you did at that moment, trying to do your job with the devil’s gaze burning your back.

To put it simply, your night together had changed something between you, while simultaneously changing nothing at all.

Rafe had barely said a word to you all week, but his heated stare as you professionally greeted him and Topper while setting their way-too-expensive prime ham sandwiches down on the table, said plenty. It was like he was expecting you to fall into his lap if he looked at you hard enough, blue gaze following your every move as you worked.

It was driving you crazy, and he knew it.

You had seen him almost every day since that Saturday night and, without fail, the blond made sure to make you as uneasy as he could until he either left or you clocked out.

And that wasn’t even the worst part.

People knew.

You hadn’t heard any rumors yourself and – by some miracle – neither John B nor any of his friends had mentioned it in any way. But you were aware that people knew if the hushed whispers of your and Rafe’s name said in the same sentence was any indication.

Like right now, you could feel the curious glances of the familiar-looking girls you were serving virgin margaritas to alternate between you and the men you had just served, their whispered giggles a good indication of what their conversation was about.

You didn’t dare turn, but you hoped that Rafe was keeping his eyes to himself right now; the last thing you needed was to make people even more curious about the both of you.

“Hey, Venus, can I ask you something?” Claire, one of the girls, asked in a conspiratorial whisper before giggling as she exchanged a look with her sister. The brunette didn’t wait for your answer before proceeding, “Is it true that you and Rafe Cameron had like… a thing at Allan’s party? Because we’ve heard some rumors…”

“I don’t know what–”

Does that mean you don’t hate each other anymore?” the other sister interrupted, nodding in Rafe’s direction just two tables away “Oh my God, are you guys dating?”.

“How is he in bed though?”

“Did you actually–”

“Okay, look, girls,” you said in a firm tone before any of them could utter another word. “I don’t know what you heard, but I’m glad to inform you that our mutual hate for each other is still very much alive. So, if that’s all…” you sent them a tight smile and moved to walk away. “Enjoy your drinks.”

You let out a deep sigh as you made a beeline for the kitchens, urging for a break and a cold glass of water. The kitchen was hot and loud, the sound of dishwashing machines and people talking just what you needed to zone out for a bit after the lunch hour rush, and this conversation that was about to give you an anxiety attack.

This was the first time anyone had actually asked you something about it, but you doubted it would be the last. The worst of it all was the fact that you were pretty sure that Rafe and his friend had heard every bit of that awkward convo, given their proximity and the girl’s apparent difficulty with speaking quietly.

You were on your second glass of water, leaning by a counter out of the way of the kitchen staff when the unthinkable happened.

“Hey, V.”

“Hey, JJ,” You greeted the blond boy back – still deep in your thoughts – as he leaned on the counter right beside you.

And that’s when he asked the forbidden question.

“Did something happen between you and Kook Prince out there?” he asked in a curious tone. “And I don’t mean you guys fighting – you do that all the time – I mean… you know… fucking.” As if his words weren’t enough, he added an obscene gesture as he said the word, his expression serious despite the question.

Your mouth dropped open in a scandalized scowl, the glass in your hand almost slipping from your fingers as the words registered.

If he knows, John B knows, was your immediate thought.

You fully turned to face JJ, his baby-blue eyes fixing you with a probing look that also seemed just a tad bit judgmental like it was actually his business who you were or weren’t fucking. But you knew that your sex life wasn’t the problem; who, specifically, was the problem. And you couldn’t really blame him, or anyone, for that; not when the who in question was Rafe fucking Cameron.

A beat passed where neither of you said a word, and you knew then that – didn’t matter whatever you said from now on – would be annulled by your initial silence. JJ had always been too perceptive for his own good, and you weren’t helping your case by just staring at him like a fish out of water.

But you still had to give it a try and save your remaining dignity; even if that meant lying with all your might.

-Excuse me?” you asked in your most offended tone, pinning him with a raised brow and a hand on your hip. “Do you even hear yourself? Do you really think that I would ever let a Kook – especially that one–- touch me like that?”

But JJ was harder to intimidate than most boys his age, and his eyes widened as he exclaimed in a tone loud enough to attract the kitchen staff’s attention: “Holy shit, are you fucking kidding me, is that a yes?! Did you and Cameron actually–”

You hurried to press a hand against his mouth, muffling his next words.

“Don’t. You. Dare,” you threatened, carefully intonating each word. “Say another word and you’ll never get a taste of my special brownies ever again. That’s a promise, JJ, I’ll make you regret it.”

His wide eyes relaxed, his surprised gaze turning into a playful one before you felt his tongue on your palm, making you drop it from his mouth with a sound of disgust followed by a slap on his shoulder.

“Ugh, you’re unbelievable! Where the hell did you even hear that, anyway?”

“So, you know the twins right – I had this thing with Claire, doesn’t matter now – but she just asked me if I knew anything about you and Cameron and no, I fucking did not! She told me people saw you fight and lock yourselves in a room. Like, what is that all about?”

“Those are rumors, and I’m honestly quite upset that you believe them.”

“Well, I didn’t until you looked at me like that,” he said, gesturing at you. “You always get wide-eyed when you’re lying. C’mon, you know you can tell me,” his expression turned deadly serious in an instant. “Did Rafe do anything to you? Did he–”

“Oh my god, JJ, no, Rafe didn’t hurt me or anything like what you’re thinking about, chill!”

“Oi!” A voice made you jump in place, and both yours and JJ’s gaze turned to the kitchen entrance where your boss stood, staring down at both of you with a raised brow. “I don’t pay you two to gossip around, get to work!”

“Yes, Raz, sorry!” you said, sending your boss an apologetic wave before turning to the blond. “Whatever you think you heard or saw, erase it from your mind, you understand? I’m serious, JJ. You don’t have to worry, okay?”

You went back to work after that, now under the gaze of not just Rafe – who was still following you with his eyes as he sipped on his drink – but also your cousin’s best friend, who alternated his watchful eye between you and the other man. This was exactly what you needed: just one more thing for you to worry about.

JJ would without a doubt tell John B, who would inevitably – and reasonably, if you were being honest with yourself – want to have a serious talk with you about it. If that happened, you would do what you always did when people got up in your business and shut that down. You loved them for caring about you, but you were as much a damsel in distress as they were your white knights.

But that was a problem for future you. Now you had orders to take and tables to clean and, fortunately, your shift was almost over.

A glance at your watch let you know that you only had to endure another forty minutes of work before you were free to go home and get back to that chapter you had been stuck at for some time.

You worked on autopilot, mind conjuring ideas to add to the plot line of your book as you filled a tray with empty glasses and beer bottles, so unaware of your surroundings that you didn’t even notice him approach.

“Hey, Venus.”

You jumped in place, your heart skipping a beat before you looked over your shoulder at Rafe Cameron, the Kook Prince himself. He was standing a few feet behind you, in some beige shorts and a dark blue polo shirt that clung to his torso just right, arms crossed at his chest. You tried not to think about his muscular arms, knowing damn well how strong he was and how they looked and felt around your naked body.

You quickly averted your eyes to his face, hoping that he would take the faint blush on your cheeks as just a consequence of working outside in the warm weather. He was staring at you with a satisfied little smile on his lips, like scaring you had made his day.

Asshole.

“Hey,” you greeted in a cold tone.

“How’re you doing?”

You took a moment to answer, filling the tray with the last of the glasses before turning to him, the full tray expertly balanced in your hand despite its weight.

“You know what?” you said as you walked by him to make your way inside, smiling to yourself as you heard him follow you; just like you knew he would. “I was having a nice day until I saw you walk in. After that, it got kinda shitty.”

“Bitchy today, aren’t we?” he said to your back, bite in his tone.

“With you? Always.”

“Been thinking about me when you touch yourself at night? Because I have.”

You set the tray on the bar counter with a little more strength than necessary, glasses and bottles clinking dangerously as you started to discard the bottles in the trash. It was, gladly, a slow day and there were no customers inside to hear your and Rafe’s conversation. The last thing you needed was for more people to wonder what was going on between you.

“Pig,” you spat at him.

“What, you don’t think of my cock inside you?” he asked, leaning closer to you. “Of my mouth on your tits? ‘Cause I do. All the fucking time.”

“So go fuck someone and leave me alone.”

“But I want you.”

“If only I cared.” Then you added, almost as an afterthought, “By the way, I’ve been spitting on all your drinks.” You sent him your best customer smile. “If you were wondering why they tasted sweeter..”

A moment passed where you just stared each other down, Rafe clearly annoyed, if the scowl on his face and the way he was sucking on the inside of his cheek was anything to go by. You were no stranger to that expression on his handsome face.

“You can be really fucking annoying, you know that?” he said, brows furrowing as you chuckled.

“That’s rich coming from you,” you retorted in a tone that clearly indicated you were done with the conversation, your boss watching you from outside making you nervous that he would think something of you two. You couldn’t lose this job. “Now, can you leave me alone, some of us actually have to work for a living, you know?”

You could feel his anger emanating from him in waves as you walked away, but you couldn’t care less. He was like a pampered little kid being denied an extra sweet, all pouty and red-faced because mommy wouldn’t give him what he wanted.

Someone had to make him understand that he couldn’t have every little thing his dark little heart desired.

«»«»«»«»«»

“So, are you gonna tell me what actually happened or nah?”

“Oh, my fucking God JJ, I swear to Jesus Chris– You can’t be here!”

It was finally the end of your shift, and you had really thought that your workday had come to an end until you walked into the locker room followed by none other than JJ, who had looked at you throughout the day like he wanted to keep talking about it. But you didn’t want to talk about it, thank you very much. You were more than glad to forget all about it.

But it was obvious that the blond had other ideas. At least he had waited for your coworker Ana to leave the room before getting in.

“Hey, hey, relax okay – no one will know I was here – plus, you can’t blame a guy for worrying. How could I hear about this and not ask you? I hear all kinds of crazy shit about you two all the time, but this one takes the cake.”

“Okay, so you can ask, and I can blame you for being an idiot asking idiot questions,” you said as you changed out of your uniform into a non-sweaty shirt. “Just mind your damn business, it’s as simple as that.” You grimaced at your words, before adding, now in a softer tone, “You got nothing to be freaking out about, okay?”

He sat down on a bench with his back to you as you changed, foot tapping on the floor in what you knew was one of his nervous tics. It almost made you feel bad for worrying him. JJ meant well, and you knew that.

You ruffled his hair as you passed by him to watch yourself in the mirror by the sink, freeing your hair from its ponytail before massaging your scalp with a sigh of contentment.

“So, you’re telling me you’re good… right?” he asked, your eyes locking through the reflection. “All is good?

“All is good,” you repeated with a faint smile at his reflection as you passed your wrists under a cold stream of water.

“John B will freak out when he hears about this.”

“Oh, please,” you grunted, turning off the faucet and crossing your arms as you leaned against the sink. “Like he’s one to talk…”

If your cousin could date Sarah Cameron – a super sweet girl who was nothing like her brother, you would give her that – then you could fuck Rafe Cameron in what was a single occasion of drunk and horny impulsivity.

“What?”

“He won’t freak out because there’s no reason to freak out,” you said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And even if there was – which there isn’t – is none of your business whom I sleep with or not. I’m older than all of you, so who the hell are you to scold me like I’m some little girl?”

“I just think it’s weird, that’s all,” JJ said with a shrug. “After everything he did to you, why would you even – why would he –” he interrupted himself, shaking his head. “Nah, you know what, you’re right, it’s none of my business.”

Was that… bitterness in his eyes? It almost made you throw your hands up in the sky in frustration.

You didn’t need anyone to look at you with anger, judgment, pity, or anything resembling those emotions. You weren’t a scared little girl anymore and Rafe wasn’t the big bad wolf. Your decisions – even if you regretted them – had been your own.

“Don’t you dare look at me like that,” you grumbled in a threatening tone, finger pointed at him as you stepped closer.

JJ didn’t look the smallest bit intimidated as he looked up at you, mouth set in a straight line like he was forcing himself to not say anything else that would upset you. Then, his lips curved into a tight smile, and he stood up with a sigh.

“Well, I gotta go so…” he muttered, nodding at you as he squeezed your shoulder for a quick moment before walking towards the door. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow then, yeah?”

“Yeah, you will,” you confirmed with a sigh, accepting the change of subject like it was some kind of truce between you. “Goodbye, JJ.”

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Walking home after work was like a meditation of sorts. You would put on your earphones, shutting off the world around you before pressing play on your favorite playlist, letting your thoughts wander as you walked the few miles to the home where you lived with your family.

You glanced at your old leather wristwatch, checking the time through its lightly cracked screen. It was a little past six in the afternoon, and the sun would set soon. At this hour, your brother David would probably be sitting at the kitchen table finishing his homework, while little Kevin watched cartoons in the living room and your mother finished cooking dinner, everyone waiting for your arrival so you could enjoy a meal together.

Being home with your family after a tiring day of work was both a pleasant and chaotic experience, but you loved it all the same.

You took a deep breath of the late afternoon air, the nice sea breeze filling your lungs and cooling down your sweaty skin. It made you want to go to the beach; you missed swimming. Surfing had never been your thing, but being in the ocean, moving your body in tune with the currents and the waves, made you feel a special kind of peace. Or used to, anyway. You had barely set foot in salt water since you were fifteen years old.

With a sigh, you ignored the path that led you to the beach and continued walking home.

You were more than halfway there when a strange feeling took over you. It was an all too familiar suspicion; like you were being watched. Taking the earpiece from your right ear, you listened attentively, head slightly tilted. The sound of wheels rolling on gravel and the rumble of a motor made you sure of it:

You were being followed.

With a glance over your shoulder, you saw a black truck, eyes going wide as you halted and fully turned around, recognizing the vehicle.

“So, you’re a stalker now?” you said loud and clear, hands on your hips as you stared down at the driver’s tinted window.

As you expected, the car stopped right beside you, the window sliding down with a smooth electric sound to reveal none other than Rafe Cameron.

Shocking.

“Just wanted to offer you a ride home, that’s all,” he said with a nod at the passenger seat like he was telling you to get in.

He stared at you with a look you couldn’t quite decipher, those blue eyes of his pinning you down like he was challenging you to a fight, to say something that would inevitably escalate – as all your conversations did. Which, being who he was and who you were, was most likely the right interpretation.

“Right,” you said with a pronounced eye roll. “And the best way to do that is following me like you’re some damn kidnapper. What next, should I wait for you to gag me and throw me in the trunk?”

His lips twitched at that, and he averted his eyes with a sniff before looking at you again.

“Don’t be giving me any ideas…”

He said it in a playful tone, but his narrowed gaze could be described as anything but playful. It instantly made you regret your words. It was not that you thought he would actually kidnap you but, when it came to Rafe Cameron, nothing was out of the realm of possibility.

You looked up and down the street, noticing how empty your surroundings looked with no one in sight, either on the road or on the sidewalk. There were houses ahead though, so if he tried something you would make sure to show him how piercing your high notes could be when you felt the need for them.

“Relax,” Rafe said, most likely noticing your tense shoulders and your wandering gaze. “I’m not thinking about doing any kidnapping today.” Today. “Just wanted to give you a ride, that’s all.”

“Yeah sure, like I would fall for that. What do you really want, Rafe?”

The telltale signs that showed his growing irritation manifested themselves in the flush of his cheeks and the furrowing of his blond eyebrows, which always made his blue eyes look darker and threatening. Most people feared Rafe and his temperament, but you were more than desensitized at this point.

“Haven’t I made it clear enough?” he asked in an even tone that clearly didn’t match his emotions.

“As much as I’ve made it clear that I don’t want anything else to do with you.”

You took notice as his hands tightened around the steering wheel.

“And why not?” he asked, almost indignant like he couldn’t possibly understand you and your constant refusal of his request. “I’m not asking you to marry me, just to have fun once in a while. I had a good time, you had a good time… so, what’s really stopping you from saying ‘Yes’?”

“You know what.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, please tell me it’s not–”

“Okay, shut up and listen!” You raised your hand to stop him, feeling your temper get the better of you. “This might be news to you, but you really made my life hell in high school. I was a teenage girl with no friends, going through hell, and you just came out of nowhere to make it all so much worse. Unprovoked! Do you think that’s easy for me to just forget? To throw all those years you hurt me behind my back just because – what – you suddenly realized you want to fuck me? Your feelings about me change nothing when I’ve hated you for so long.” You let out a deep sigh. “And that feeling really hasn’t diminished over the years.”

“You say you hate me, but you still fucked me,” he asked eyes narrowed as he locked under his hard gaze. “So, what does that say about you?”

“It says I make mistakes,” you retorted, shaking your head at his words. “One of my biggest regrets in life, if I’m being honest.”

Hurt flashed in his eyes, his jaw clenching as he averted his gaze, and for a moment you didn’t know if you should feel vindicated or sorrowful. It all mixed in an uncomfortable knot in your stomach.

A moment passed, and you were about to walk away when he spoke again.

“I said I was sorry, didn’t I?”

You scoffed, shaking your head at the simplicity of his words. You knew Rafe was far from stupid, but the way he was being obtuse made you wonder.

“And you think that apologizing like you’re doing changes things? After what you’ve done to me?” you bit your lip, feeling your eyes sting as an unwelcome memory resurfaced. “Do you remember what you did to me when my father died?”

Silence. Rafe said nothing, avoiding your gaze as he stared at his hands, knuckles whitening as his grip on the wheel tightened, the leather scratching under his palms.

“Do you even remember?” you pressed him on, slowly stepping towards the car until you were so close you could touch the door. “Do you remember how cruel you were? My father died, I almost died, and you still thought it was funny to tell me that I was the one who drowned him. That it was all my fault. Your stupid jokes… I almost believed it.”

“That–” He hesitated, glancing at you for a split second before looking away again. “I shouldn’t have– I know I shouldn’t have–”

“But that didn’t stop you, did it?” you asked, voice wavering as you tried not to cry; not in front of him. “You saw me going through the worst chapter in my life, and you still decided to make me miserable. Honestly… I’m not sure who hates each other more, but if your father died I wouldn’t be making jokes about it or blaming you for his death, that’s for sure. When your–” you stopped yourself before you mentioned his mother, avoiding his gaze as his brows raised. A part of you really wanted to hurt him back, but that was not a can of worms you wanted to go near.

You moved away from the car instead, sniffling as you tried to ignore the lump in your throat. You were about to walk away when Rafe called your name, a slight tremor in his voice.

“I’ll make it up to you. Let me–”

“Nah, don’t bother.” You didn’t even turn to him as you started walking away, feeling suddenly more exhausted than you had been ten minutes ago. “I’m not about to take part in your redemption arc just because you feel bad. That’s something between you, God, and a therapist.”

Without another word, you put on your earpiece, turned up the volume of your phone to the max, and pressed play, rushing to get home and forgetting that this conversation ever happened.

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Part 3 ->