#Been reading the reblogs from the angst comic and it motivates me even more to make another one

[iilmunchkiin]

Doodle Dump

Just realized i didnt show yall how i draw Dalv oops

HC: Dalv doesn't know that corn can become popcorn and is amazed by this fact (+ maybe Starlo too but he prop knows)

[imagine-that-100]

Why No Answer? | Part 2 |

Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader (Female) | You’re woken up in the middle of the night to find Alex drunk and high on your doorstep. Looking after him proves to be a tiring and revealing ordeal.

Word Count: 12.8k

Warnings: Angst (from the past) but lots of fluff.

A/N: So this was requested by the lovely @psychkunox​, really hope you enjoy this. I don’t know what happened, but I got very carried away with the word count yet again sorry about that ahha. I would recommend watching the Restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally either before or after you read. It’s quite comical and will give you more context. Anyway though, Likes, Reblogs, and Feedback is always appreciated, but thank you all for reading, I really hope you all enjoy xx

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Read Part 1: | Here | 

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“Al stop.” You scorn him in a whisper as he once again kisses the back of your neck as you stand in the queue for Space Mountain.  

You really tried not to indulge in the feeling of his lips on your skin because it was an extremely addicting sensation. But you were in public, in Disney World of all places where everyone had their phones and cameras out, and the band were all standing in front of you in the queue.

“Alex.” You whisper shout again and pull yourself out of the hold he had on your hips when you felt him do it again.

You turn around and shake your head when you note the mischief in his eyes and the slight smirk gracing his pretty lips. You wanted nothing more to have them on your own in such a beautiful place but that couldn’t happen since you both decided you wanted to keep your relationship between yourselves for a while longer.

You were their photographer which meant that you didn’t want things to get weird with them on tour. And after you and Alex both decided to keep your relationship on the downlow when you initially started going out with each other, you sort of wanted to keep it that way, so nothing changed the dynamic of your group.  

You were only 2 years younger than Matt and Alex, 3 years younger than Jamie and Nick, so you’d always been pretty close with them all. You thought of them all as your brothers as you were growing up as Alex had gone to the same primary school as you and Matt and they had been best mates since the beginning.

They met Jamie and Nick in High School along with Andy who was obviously initially in the band, before he stepped down and Nick took over. They had always been your family who’d taken good care of you and you knew just how lucky you were to have them all.

But obviously to them you’d always been Matt’s little, and sometimes annoying, sister. When they were 14/15 they all wanted nothing to do with you and you were certain Alex had hated you once upon a time, but that might have been because you were a 12 year old who’d started growing up having crushes on all of your brothers friends.

Thankfully they didn’t disown you completely as when you reached the less annoying age of 15, they didn’t seem to push you out as much. You liked hanging out with all of them, and you saw them more because they always had to come to your house because Matt couldn’t move the drum kit unless it was for a gig.  

You’d always liked music as it had always been an escape for you. Like when the band were first starting out when you’d go up to your bedroom to escape the utter shit music they were making, and you’d have your Pulp and Blur records on.

There was a new band you actually introduced them too at the time which was The Strokes, which is comical in hindsight because if you’d never told Alex and Matt to listen to that record when they caught you humming along to Barely Legal, you weren’t sure Alex would have had the motivation to keep the band going and get it as big as they had become.

It wasn’t a secret that Alex’s hero was Julian Casablancas.

A few years later the band was getting bigger and the excitement in your household at them potentially making it big was intense. So much so that your Mum and Dad threw a party for them all when they got scouted and got the record deal.

It was at that party that Matt and Alex drunkenly agreed to let you be their photographer as soon as you were done with your photography apprenticeship. It was something they never forgot though and they did actually let you become their photographer.

So as soon as your apprenticeship finished in the summer of 2006, your 18-year-old self joined the lads on their tour. To say it was a dream come true would be an understatement.

Both you and Matt had loved photography your entire lives, stemming from when your Grandma bought you both a digital camera each one year for Christmas. Since then, it’d become your passion and your plan was to be a photographer anyway.

But being the photographer for Arctic Monkeys meant that you got to travel the world and see places you never thought you would, and you never got home sick because you already had your family around you.

You honestly adored your job.

In the breaks between their tours and them writing new material you would take other photography jobs in the years off, but that didn’t really happen for the first four years of them all being big.

Alex asked Domino if you could do their The Age of the Understatement tour too which you were surprised by, but of course you did it. A job was a job and you weren’t going to turn it down just because your brother wasn’t there.

Usually on the tours you’d stay in a separate bus from the lads because after the first week into the first tour you joined them on you saw what an absolute shit tip they all created. They were all revolting and all typical lads, being messy, every other sentence was a sex joke, and they were just revolting creatures.

To you it was genuinely a surprise they actually showered after every gig.

But thankfully with the years passing and being on tour busses became a constant for them instead of something new and exciting, they all got better. So, their Suck It And See tour was the first full tour you’d actually stayed in the bus with them.

Although sometimes you wished you hadn’t because that tour was where he met Breana and you definitely heard things you’d never want to hear again. You don’t know how the other lads weren’t scarred from the noises that came out of Matt’s bunk those nights.

All you had to say about it was thank god for earphones and ear defenders.

But you think it was on that tour that you started getting closer to Alex and the other lads. Mostly due to Matt being a love stuck puppy who spent most of his time with Breana but also because you didn’t want to burden him with your emotions.

About a month before the Suck It And See tour started in the February of 2011, your arsehole of a boyfriend texted you saying that he didn’t want to see you anymore. He was an arsehole for doing it over text and then not answering your calls afterwards, but he was an even bigger arsehole for getting with who you thought was your best friend as soon as the tour started.

Matt and the lads obviously knew about the breakup but due to them all having no social media none of them knew what your best friend had done to you. So, you cried about that betrayal in your bunk at night when you knew everyone else was asleep and you cried when you found moments of solitude.

They had enough going on with interviews and tours and you didn’t want them to burden them with your issues too. But that stopped when Alex walked in on your crying in the back lounge of the bus about a month into the tour.

Your ex best friend had just posted a picture of her and your ex who you still had the misfortune of having feelings for and you just crumbled. When you saw it you just couldn’t bear the thought of being around anyone else, so you slipped out of their presence and cried your way back to the tour bus.

Thankfully no one followed you in your time of crisis which meant that you got your uncontrollable sobs out of the way alone. But of course, someone came back to the bus and found you.

And that person was Alex.

He’d come back for another pack of fags needing the extra nicotine in the hours before a show. But all thoughts of that stopped when he heard crying come from the back end of the bus.

He walked past the bunks and opened the door into the back lounge to find you sat on the floor with your head buried into your knees and sobs were ringing in his ears. His heart dropped at the sight.

“Y/N what's wrong?” Alex asks, rushing over to you.

And when you didn't answer he called your name again. “Y/N?”

But you just shake your head and continue sobbing into your knees. So he begs, “Please talk to me, love”

He was kneeling down beside you, his hand coming to the back of your head as if to slowly coax you out of your hiding stop. And after stroking the back of your head for a minute, your head rises from your hiding spot but your eyes remain shut and you continue to sob.

Alex tries his best to coax you out of your sobs but you’re pretty much hyperventilating in front of him. After another one of the longest minutes of Alex’s life he manages to get you to slow your cries enough for words to fall from your lips.

“My life’s falling apart” You sob, still refusing to look at him. Your breathing is better but still erratic when you continue to tell him in a pain stricken voice, “I can’t carry on crying myself to sleep like this every night... I- I just want to feel normal again”

“What’s happened? Why are you upset?” Alex begs for you to tell him, ripping the tears from under your eyes.

The only thing that comes to mind is your previous relationship, so Alex asks, “Is it about your ex?”

You nod, tears still pouring down your eyes, “He’s taken everything Alex... My life is fucking ruined”

“No he hasn’t Y/N. You’re here, you’ve got us” He tries to assure you, but you just shake your head.

After a second you open your watery eyes and Alex can see how much pain they hold. They somehow contain even more when you speak the words out loud, “He’s going out with Y/B/F.”

Even Alex’s blood runs cold when he hears that. His words almost get caught in his throat when he asks, “What?”

You nod, sniffling a bit and wiping your own tears from your cheeks when you repeat, “He’s going out with Y/B/F.”

“Please tell me you’re joking” The words fall from his mouth before he can stop them.

You and your best friend had been together since day one, like you’d practically been friends since birth. You were practically sisters.

It was only the odd time Alex would come to yours and Matt’s house growing up and Y/B/F wasn’t there with you. You were the annoying girls he couldn’t escape.

Not that he still felt like that as you yourself had become a really good friend but back when you were 12 you were both so fucking annoying. But everyone knew that your and Y/B/F came as a pair.

You were the best of friends, and completely inseparable.  

“I don’t think I’d be on the floor crying if I was joking Alex.” You whine, trying your best to stop your tears now someone else was with you.  

You nod towards your phone that you threw on the sofa when you walked in the room and say, “Just look”

So Alex does. He takes your phone off the side and unlocks it knowing your password was your birthday and he quickly puts the numbers in and watches as it unlocks.

And his heart sinks at the proof that lays in his hands. There on the screen he can clearly see the picture of your best friend and your ex-boyfriend quite clearly together.

They were posed in the way couples typically posed for pictures and then there was another of them at the same party and they stood kissing, and Alex found it repulsive.

“This isn’t okay.” Alex looks up from the phone to see your head no leaning back against the settee, tears falling freely down your cheeks now.

You make no effort to look at him when you say, “I know.”

“Why didn’t Matt tell me?” Alex asks, a little confused.

Surely this was something that was to be at least hushedly whispered to the people closest to you.

“Because he doesn't know.” You say simply.

“Why?” He asks, locking the phone so you didn’t see the pictures again.

You told Matt everything these days. There was no point in secrets between you as you were adults and you cared for the other’s well-being.

You’d always been open with each other, minus the time that you went out to a party when you were 16 and came back with a series of love bites on your neck. All of the lads had been really shocked when you walked in a little bit tipsy with those on your skin.

Matt had been furious and a little disgusted knowing someone had been touching you in a romantic sense. So, it was no surprise to the other lads that when you were questioned on if something more happened, you pressed your swollen lips together and slipped up to your room denying that anything else had happened.

It was comical because it was clear to everyone else that it had gone further than someone kissing your neck.

Everyone took the piss out of Matt that night saying that someone had just taken his sister's virginity and it left the drummer mortified. But you always denied it to the full band until about 6 months later when Alex had asked you in the kitchen if you were actually lying or not.

Of course, Alex didn’t actually tell any of the others when you confirmed what everyone already knew. But that was the last time you’d ever lied to your brother.

So, hearing that your brother didn’t know about this shocking and frankly disgusting news in your life was concerning.

You looked up towards your brothers’ best mate and told him the truth, “Because I can’t ruin his time with Breana…”

You had to trail off because the lump in your throat was getting too much. So you swallowed it away before continuing, your voice still pained, barely above a whisper, “He really likes her and he doesn’t need to be worrying about me... She could be the mother of his children for all we know... I’m not ruining that chance because my life has fallen apart.”

“He’d understand Y/N/N.” Alex told you, once again leaning forward to wipe away your tears.

You shake your head, “It’s not fair.”

“And you think what’s happened to you is fair?” Alex questions, knowing full well that it wasn’t.

No one deserved this type of betrayal. Especially you.

You just started weeping again then and Alex brought you into his arms, needing to console you in a hug. Thankfully you didn’t resist his hug and Alex let you cry into his shoulder as you clung to him.

After a while of him rubbing your back and whispering you sweet nothings, he had to tell you, “You could have told me Y/N/N.”

You shake your head into his neck then, Alex could still feel the tears falling onto his skin. He just about hears you say into his shoulder, “You’re happy with Arielle, I don’t want you dealing with my shit either.”

“Your family, what hurts you hurts me” Alex tells you, “You’ve always got me Y/N… Always.”

After another five minutes of you both on the floor, Arielle walks in and is immediately worried seeing you sat on the ground crying into Alex’s arms. Alex just politely asked her to go and get Matt though which she did, and you didn’t oppose it.

You couldn’t deal with that on your own any longer and you were thankful for Alex being so kind to you. Your heart just fully melted in your chest later on after everything had been explained to everyone and he pulled you aside and gave you another big hug.

He whispered to you, “You’re going to be okay Y/N/N.” before placing a kiss to the top of your head.

The rest of that tour was filled with him making sure you were always okay and so did the other lads. But maybe it felt more personal to you when Alex checked on you because he was the one that found you.

It was him that just told you to cut them from your life completely and block them on everything as ‘they weren’t good enough for you anyway’. After you did that you felt better about your life. You’d cleared them from your Instagram, leaving no trace on your page that they were ever in your life and it was a difficult purge, but it definitely helped you in the long run.

The years without them in your life were tough but it had proven to be for the best in the end.

Because once upon a time you thought you were going to marry your ex-boyfriend, but now you were standing in Disney World with your boyfriend trying to steal kisses from you. And you wouldn’t change it for the world.

You give your boyfriend of 4 months a warning look, but his eyes just held mischief. You had to remind him, “They are going to see.”

“Then let’s go somewhere else.” Alex says moving back towards you, and ushering you to move up the line a bit.  

“After this we’ll try and escape.” You promise, but he was really shit at turning you down and you wanted it to be believable. “But you have to actually pretend you don’t wanna go.”

He rolls his eyes but sighs, “Fine.”

After Space Mountain you announced to the lads that you wanted to go see the Disney characters next which they all groaned at. You first of all pleaded with Matt to come with you knowing he wouldn’t before the rest of the lads and one by one they all dismissed you.

The last person you asked was Alex and he surprisingly put up a good fight until you ‘wore him down’ and got your own way. You spent the rest of the afternoon going round with him and getting pictures of the both of you with the characters and you got a nice lady to take a  few pictures of you both outside the castle.

Those were your favourites, especially the one where he was kissing you.

As you were walking back to meet the others who were already back at the bus, you felt the need to tell him something which you’d yet to say. You didn’t think you’d find a better time than walking hand in hand in front of the Disney castle after one of the best days of your life.

So you pause your walk back for a moment to kiss him one last time before you make it back to the others. The kiss was sweet, just like the whole day had been, and you definitely felt like it was the right time to say, “I love you Alex.”

Immediately a smile found its way onto his lips, and he was practically beaming with joy. “You love me?” Alex asks you in a little disbelief.  

“Yeah…” You nod, a massive smile on your lips “A lot as well.”

Alex leant down and kissed you again then, this time though his arms wrapped around your waist and lifted you off your feet, spinning you around in his arms. It caused you to giggle into the kiss a little but you loved it.

When your feet touched the ground again Alex told you, “I love you so much Y/N”

“I know.” You grin as he’d already told you once before.

Alex just chuckles at you, “Alright Han Solo” which made you giggle.

“I love you more than anything Al, thank you for making me happy.” You tell him wrapping your arms around him, needing a tight embrace just so he knew you meant every single word.

His arms obviously snake around you, making you feel secure in the warm hug. And your heart melts once more when he kisses your head and says, “I love you more Angel, thank you for letting me make you happy.”

~*~*~*~

“Al.” You said attempting and failing to pull away from the kiss he’d trapped you in.

If you were honest, you really weren’t really putting up much of a fight to stop the kisses. You were in one of their many tents that this festival they were performing at had given them.

There was one for chilling out in, one that was essentially a bar, and a few more you’d yet to explore. But Alex had pulled you into one with the mass of beanbags in it and he wasted no alone time to have his lips connect to yours.

“Yes baby?” He says in his low voice and you could hear his hunger for you in his voice before he kissed you again.

It made your stomach flip as you knew exactly what he was thinking as you’d heard his voice like that many times since you started seeing each other. You both had to show some restraint though as anyone could walk into the tent, there was only a flimsy curtain between inside and outside.

You pull on his hair to make him pull away as you couldn’t do it yourself as he’d trapped you between him and a beanbag. Once his soft lips parted from yours, you told him seriously,  “Wait until the hotel.”

“But I want you now.” Alex then pouts at you, confirming the explicit thoughts that were running through his head.

You tell him truthfully, finding his pout very cute, “And I want you, but I’m not shagging you in a tent.”

“Why?” Alex questions, looking around for a moment before his gorgeous brown eyes meet your Y/E/C ones again. He chuckles, “It's a really posh tent.”

You guess it was too post to actually call it a tent. It was huge for a start and looked very expensive. You definitely felt privileged to get to experience all of this with him and the band.  

“Hun you had me all last night...” You shake your head whilst smiling like an idiot, “You can retrain yourself until we get back.”

“Not easily.” He pouts again and it makes you giggle which he once again finds adorable.

Another kiss is exchanged then but you don't let it get to what it just had been like. You stop it after he tries to distract you and deepen it again but you’re having none of it.

“You need to go or there gunna be like ‘what’s he doing in there?’” You say knowing he’d be asked to drink with them sooner rather than later.

Alex smiles knowing you’re right, but he chuckles when he tells you, “You know we have to tell them at some point, right?”

“Yeah I know, I just want as much of this tour to be as normal as possible.” You say, aimlessly stroking your fingers up and down the short hair on the back of his hair. You grin when you say, “I’d like to escape Jamie’s jokes for as long as possible.”

Alex just laughs then before he pecks your lips once more. “I don’t blame you Angel… But you can handle yourself. We’ll be fine.”

“I know.” You smile, feeling very content in this moment that you had with him. “I love you Al.”

“I love you too.” He tells you before he steals another kiss and gets himself up. “Do you want a drink?”

You shake your head whilst you get yourself comfy on the beanbag, also reaching to the nearby blanket to cover yourself with. “Nah, I’m good thanks. I’m gunna have a nap before the show.”

Alex smiles at you then, turning back towards you when he gets near the curtain to leave. He just stops by the curtain that divides him from outside and when he sees you getting curled up under the blanket.

He can’t help but nod and say, “Yeah.”

“Yeah what?” You ask looking back up to him standing there grinning at you.  

Alex nods down at you in your cosy spot and continues, “Yeah, you were definitely meant for me.”

You grin like an idiot then before you tell him, “Love you baby.”

“Love you too.” Alex smiles and sends a wink your way before he heads out of the tent.  

You can’t help but shut your eyes and snuggle into your new ‘bed’ with a massive grin on your face. But when you hear Miles say, “Oi Al, you dickhead. Come and have a shot.” you just start giggling.

~*~*~*~

You were absolutely plastered, and it was really making Alex laugh. Even more so than it usually would because you were trying your best not to be obvious that you wanted his affection.

You were a clingy drunk which was absolutely fine, and all the lads knew that, but watching you slip up around him and having to make up for it with the other lads was really comical for Alex.

You’d just come over to Alex after you’d beaten him at pool and teased him for being shit. To which Alex was shooting digs back at you but all you did in response was laugh, call him a sore loser and ruffle his perfect hair up which you knew annoyed him.

So Alex had just forced your hands out of his hair by grabbing your wrists and stopping you from doing anything more. He gave you warning looks like he would have done any other time you annoyed him before you got together but you also noted the looks as a reminder of the secret that you’d set out.

That was what led you to sitting on Jamie’s lap and talking his ear off about Katie whilst playing with his wavy hair. He threatened you to get off it, saying he’d cut it all off which you at first drunkenly pleaded with him not too but then you changed your mind saying he could definitely pull off a Peaky Blinders cut.

Once off Jamie you went on to have some flirty banter with Miles as Nick and Jamie played pool. Alex was watching you with an amused look on his face as his best mate was teasing you about not being on the pull whilst being in a bar with everyone.

You came back with things like, “Aw Miles, I couldn’t do that to you. I know you’d cry yourself to sleep if I entertained anyone elses flirting besides yours.”

Alex also found your laugh adorable when Miles kissed you on your cheek and Matt told him to leave you alone and to stop flirting with you. It was times like that that made Alex glad his best mate didn’t know about the two of you yet.

But after Nick’s game of pool finished and Nick won, he was calling it a night, despite it being relatively early. It seemed that you knew your tolerance though and decided to head back to the bus with Nick.

So you then went around the other 4 lads who were staying and made a bit of an effort to kiss them all goodnight, Alex presumed so you could kiss him. Something which proved to be correct because you came to him last after kissing all the other lads, including your brother, on the cheek and came to give him one.

“Thank you for my drinks” You drunkenly smile at him and Alex grins down at you in an amused way.

“You’re welcome love” Alex chuckles at your tipsy state and you then force a hug upon him.

He obviously hugs you back but he’s aware of his mates looking so he doesn’t make it completely obvious that he’s enjoying the hug as much as he is despite him really wanting to. He wanted nothing more than to kiss your lips instead of you leaning in to kiss his cheek.

When you left his arms, he smiled at you and you moved back to your brother and made him give you a hug. Something which Matt did but not without a roll of his eyes, but Alex could tell it was a playful one.

“See you in the morning guys.” You say with a smile after linking your arm through Nick’s so he could help you walk back.

Everyone said bye to you then and their attention was on the new game of pool again. But whilst it was Matt’s go Alex let his eyes focus on you.

You were so cute, he wanted nothing more than to take you back to a hotel away from the others so he could just be with you all night. But Alex also understood why you wanted to keep it a secret for a while longer.

Tours were long, and he knew you’d both be bullied about it for a while from the others, which you were both prepared for. But you were due to be on the road for the next year with AM due out in September.

The plan was to tell them as soon as interviews back home started so you didn’t have to be around the joking for long. Alex was used to it after Alexa and Arielle, but he knew you weren’t, and he respected that.

So that was why he denied it when the lads began to question him on it about 5 minutes after you left.

“What’s going on?” Matt asks as Alex pots another ball into the pool table.  

Alex grins thinking Matt was just fuming he was losing. As Alex moves around the table to eye up another winning shot, he says, “I’m beating you at pool

“No.” Matt shakes his head, earning eye contact from his best mate. “I mean with Y/N/N.”

“What do you mean?” Alex asks as he leans over the table to play his next shot, “She’s just gone back with Nick.”

“Don’t think he means that.” Miles grinned at him after he missed the tricky shot he’d chosen.  

Alex raises his eyebrows in a questioning way, getting the feeling that people were catching on to how you were around each other.

And that suspicion is confirmed when Jamie says, “You’re very touchy with each other.”

“Touchy?” Alex laughs, as he watches your brother take another shot, “Jamie mate, she was on your lap earlier.”

“Yeah, but she keeps like teasing you and messing with your hair and shit.” Matt chips in with his observations after missing his shot on the stripped balls.  

Alex rolls his eyes, “Matt, you literally fucked with my hair earlier today and Jamie did it yesterday... You all like to fucking annoy me by doing that.”

Alex continues to defend the both of you even though he wishes he didn’t have to. “You know what she’s like when she’s drunk, she doesn’t leave anyone alone.”

“He has a point; she didn’t shy away from me kissing her.” Miles points out raising his pint to the drummer.

Matt fakes a gag then and says, “Leave her the fuck alone Kane.”

“But she loves me.” Miles pouts, resting a hand over his heart like Matt’s words had hurt him. “You definitely want me as your brother-in-law.”

Alex smiles to himself knowing that he was now 6 months ahead of Miles in that category. God, he loved you. He could definitely see a bright future with you, and he had every intention to marry you one day in the years to come.

“I’d rather go to a Radiohead gig.” Matt says which earns a laugh from everyone, knowing how the hatred between the bands still hadn’t died out.

~*~*~*~

A month later you thought you were doing well. You were very careful around everyone after Alex told you about the questioning he got after the bar.

You were just normal with each other throughout the days, not overly interacting with each other. But when Alex’s eyes were hidden by his sunglasses, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wonder.

And it definitely helped that it was your job to take pictures of him. You could stare at him all day that way, even if it was through a camera lens.

Moments alone came when you’d stay in the bus when they went on nights out and Alex would venture back early meaning on nights like that, he actually got to give you goodnight kisses like he loved doing. Other moments took place when he would wander off at the multitude of festivals they were doing.

You’d say you were going getting pictures of different acts that no one else wanted to go watch. Alex would say he was going for a walk about 20 minutes later. Purely coincidence that you met up with him on his walk after you’d taken a photo or two.

Other times you snuck into each other's hotel rooms about an hour after you’d all gone your separate ways. But it was your nights in the hotels that you loved the most.

You got your privacy, and it was secure. The same as it was when he came to your house before the tour or when you went to his.

You loved being alone with him.

And tonight, all the other lads had gone out to a party somewhere and Alex had been faking an illness all day so he could stay in and they wouldn’t ask questions. They wouldn’t think it was weird you not going because you rarely went out with them.

They knew you valued your sleep too much.

So that was why you were alone in the back lounge with Alex tonight. And you’d honestly had one of the best nights being your normal cuddly selves.

You’d just watched a film with each other whilst being cuddled up on the sofa and you very nearly fell asleep in his embrace, but you weren’t wasting a full night alone with him. After the film you both went out and got yourselves a takeout from a place just down the road.

You made it into a full date night which was fucking adorable. After food, you coexisted normally for a little while, Alex letting you lean back against him whilst you edited your photos on your night off.

You were a pro at it after so many years, so it took no longer than an hour for the ones promotion wanted of them all. Alex was quite happily watching you edit the pictures of him and his friends as he absentmindedly played with your hair, placed random little kisses on your neck or on the back of your head, and at one point he even sang.

It was a really beautiful song, one that you’d only heard once before when he let you listen to the album when it was finished.

You only knew the title because he said it often in the song but having your boyfriend softly sing Mad Sounds into your ear as you worked you wished you could freeze time and appreciate it. His voice was amazing as everyone knew, but hearing it so close and so soft, it was hard to keep shivers from running down your spine.

“Such a beautiful song Al.” You smile closing your laptop as you’d finished what you needed to do and he’d finished singing.

You turn to him a bit more and he smiles back at you, tucking a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. “Like you then.” Alex grins before pressing his lips to yours.

You smile into the kiss as the comment was very adorable of him, but when you pulled back bullying was in order, “You’re so cheesy.”

“You love it.” Alex grins as you get up and put your laptop away, but you grab your small Lumix camera and come to sit back down.

You grin as you come and sit back down, this time straddling his lap so you could get a few close ups of him looking cute. You bring the viewfinder up to your eye and once you see his adorable smile on the other side of the lens you capture the perfection.

“I do.” You grin back at him.

You like that Alex never shies away from you when you have a camera in your hand. You knew after this much time that he trusted you with what you were capturing, especially in these moments together they wouldn’t be seen by anyone else.

“However…” You say, putting the camera down for a moment, “Me and your music are nothing alike.”

Alex frowns at you a little then, his hands running up your thighs, pulling you a little closer, “I think a certain track and our text message history would claim otherwise.”

You roll your eyes then knowing he was talking about Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High? But when he grins at your eye roll you quickly snap another picture of him.

“I guess I shouldn't have got involved with a lyricist if I didn't want songs about me, should I?” You ask with a knowing smirk as you pull the camera away from your face.

You don’t bother checking it on the screen as it pops up, you already knew it would be a good picture. Not because you took it, but because it was of him and he was happy.

“No, probably not.” Alex chuckles as he takes the camera from you before raising it to take one of you.

You give him a pointed look after the photograph and joke, “You better hope you get to release your B-sides before Matt catches on.”

“I’ll be murdered, I have no doubt.” Alex grins and you burst out laughing at him being dramatic.

Alex thinks you look gorgeous though, so he raises your camera back up and you let him, not having a problem with him taking your picture. You smile at first but after he gets the first picture, he keeps looking through the viewfinder so you then puff your cheeks out jokingly and move closer to the camera.

Alex chuckles from behind it and he moves the camera from his face so you can both giggle together. He steals a kiss from you which you gladly accept, and you can't help but bite your lip afterwards.

He just looked so good. His skin was flawless these days and the fact that all of his fair wasn’t around his face anymore made his stunning jawline stand out. His brown eyes that were usually always hidden by sunglasses were shining brightly and the smile on his lips really showed how happy he was.

And seeing him happy made you happy. You could safely say you truly loved him. You’d do anything to keep you both as happy as you are now.

Whilst you’re deep in thought, Alex raises your camera back up to his eye which breaks your daydreaming about his features and you playfully roll your eyes.

“Smile for me Angel.” He asks and you do for one shot because he is pretty cute and pretty impossible not to smile at.

“Beautiful.” Alex confirms when he quickly looks down at the screen seeing the picture, he just caught of you.

“Like you then.” You use his own words against him with a playful smile.

Alex then puts your camera down to the side and with his newly free hand he cups the back of your neck and mumbles a ‘very good’ before bringing you in for a kiss. Playful and sweet were the only ways to describe it.

You just adored this alone time with him, sitting on his lap at the back bus, which was usually a very crowded area for you all to use, and you were kissing each other like it was just yesterday you got together. Everything still felt just as exciting and new and you never wanted his lips off yours.

You loved that it was you who got to run your fingers through his hair and pull on it when you wanted a kiss to carry on longer, like you just did. You loved the way his large hands held your hips, keeping you close to him.

But mostly you loved that he was always wanting affection. You’d not been in a relationship for a very long time so it made you nervous initially but there was something about Alex that you craved, and his affection was definitely one of those things that you were addicted to now.

You never wanted moments like these to end. But of course, that wouldn’t be realistic.

“I fucking knew it!”

You both pull away from each other to see Jamie with his jaw agape by the door. And your heart dropped to the ground.

“Jamie.” Alex says before Jamie can run out of the room.

“Oh I can’t fucking believe it.” He says, still stood there with his jacket in his hand but he looks like his whole world has ended. “I’ve gotta go get Matt.”

The panic in you rises then and you practically just off Alex’s lap and grab your intruders’ arm before he can turn back, “Jamie no, don’t.” You plead, pulling on his arm to come into the room.  

He turns back towards you then and he lets himself be pulled into the room. His head is still baffled though which leads him to say rather loudly, “You’re shagging, aren’t you?”

Your eyes go wide at the volume of his voice and you scorn, “Jamie.” quietly as you pull him further into the room so you can shut the door once more.

His eyes go wide impossibly wider though and he gasps, “You are!” looking from you to Alex who was still sat down.

“Matt is going to fucking murder you.” Jamie chuckles looking Alex dead in the eye as you ensure that no one else is on the bus by looking down through the bunks (thankfully all the curtains were still open) to the front lounge and you saw no one down the other end.

“Jamie please don’t start.” You hear Alex say, evidently not wanting this to get out of hand.

You close the door and turn around to the still very shocked man and say, “I’ll explain just please shut up and sit down.”

So you did explain that you’d been seeing each other for months. Jamie was shocked because he only started to suspect something a month into the tour.

But after he’d let the information sink in, it wasn’t really so shocking anymore. Which is why you’d got onto the conversation of why it was still a secret after you’d been going out for months.

“You know he’d be fine.” Jamie tells you, sitting down opposite you both, trying to persuade you to tell Matt. “He wouldn’t actually kick off, you can both do what you like.”

“It’s not really just about Matt.” You tell him honestly from your point of view. “It’s about all of you making jokes and shit for months. I didn’t want that.”

“Y/N we wouldn’t do that.” Jamie says leaning towards the both of you from the other sofa, but you’re having none of it.

“Cookie you’re the worst one for it.” You say with a pointed look.

You then point to Alex, who you were sitting beside now and say, “I remember what you were like with him and Arielle.”

And it was a lot. They joked about it all the time to start with, and it was annoying for you, let alone Alex and her.

“Him and Arielle were different.” Jamie states, a little on the defensive side, but then he follows it up with, “You don’t make funny videos for a living, I actually respect you a hell of a lot for putting up with us.”

You shake your head and tell the tipsy, but now definitely more sober man, “You’re not that bad.”

“Oh, we are.” Jamie says and you laugh because you were just being polite.

They could be a handful sometimes if you were telling the truth. But you wouldn’t change anything about any of them. You loved them all because of who and how they were, and they were all your family.

Jamie follows up with, “I'm genuinely surprised you actually want to go out with him after knowing what he’s like.”

You giggle at that and just pout as you joke, “I know, but you’re taken Cookie, so I went for the next best thing.”

“Hey” Alex scoffs, looking towards you, pretending to be offended.

You and Jamie just laugh at him though, and you intertwine your fingers when you grab Alex’s hand to hold as a little apology. You’d be sure to actually swear to him that you were joking later though.

Jamie notes the gesture and he can see the little knowing smiles on your faces and his heart melts a bit for the both of you. You were both pretty cute with each other to be fair and the more that Jamie had been playing detective about it he thought that the two of you would be a pretty good match.

So he was genuinely happy for the both of you.

“And as for the jokes…” Jamie continues, causing the two of you to look back around at him. But Jamie looks at you as he says, “If it upset you, you know I wouldn't do it”

“I don’t mind the odd joke about me sucking his dick or whatever, but I’ll go crazy if that's all I hear about for the next year.” You tell him honestly.

You could handle jokes, it wasn’t anything new. They joked about your first boyfriend to Matt for the longest time and had done each time you got a new one.

You could take a joke. But not 24/7 like this tour would promise it would.

“Okay, never say that again.” Jamie pleads, the shocked look not coming off his face, but you and Alex just laugh at his reaction.

His head goes into his hands for a moment but afterwards he looks at you both and says, “Yeah, you don’t have anything to worry about, joke wise, until I get comfortable with this dynamic because that was strange coming from your mouth.”

“You’ve heard me say worse than that, surely?” You ask, very amused by his discomfort.

Jamie just blankly says, “Not about Alex… And you’re practically my sister.”

“Sorry Cookie. I’ve got a right to say rude jokes about my boyfriend when I want to. He can say ones about me but from your reaction I don’t think you want him to.”

He then looks Alex dead in the eye and begs, “Please don’t.”

You both just end up laughing.

~*~*~*~

You decided after that night that you would think about being more open to telling Matt about everything that was going on. Thankfully Jamie was quite respectful of the whole thing and actually kept your secret.

He didn’t make things awkward for you both either, if anything he helped you both out a lot. Sometimes when you were out with them Jamie would keep the others entertained so you could escape with Alex for a little bit on a ‘fag break’ which would consist of stolen kisses.

Other times when you were all out, Jamie would lowkey guilt trip Alex into going back with you early so no one asked questions which you loved him even more for.

During this month that Jamie knew though, you’d been trying to come up with a way to tell Matt. Because you weren’t stupid, you knew this couldn’t go on for much longer.

Each time you tried to tell him though something would happen which meant that you didn’t. Once you froze, unable to tell him because you just genuinely didn’t know how to.

It wasn’t exactly something that you could drop on him and expect him to be fine with. Your nerves probably didn’t help but other times when you worked up the courage to do it, other things would go wrong.

Matt was in a foul mood one of the times, so that was a no go. Miles and Nick came in and interrupted another time before you got the words out and it was like a never ending series of unfortunate events that stopped you.

Alex had politely offered to do it after a few failed attempts but you said that you’d be more comfortable doing it. Partly because you thought that you should be the one to tell your brother and partly because you knew Matt wouldn’t hit you.

But there had been multiple failed attempts since then so you thought that you may actually make it to the end of the summer festivals at this rate.

It was nearing the end of August now and you were all staying in a hotel again tonight as you’d got to the city they were performing in the day before the show. You were pleased because it meant another night in with Alex so after you’d all had your dinner downstairs you’d given him your spare key card for your room so he could come to you whenever he liked.

Alex told you that he was looking forward to using it and he was excited to spend another night with you. It warmed your heart hearing that and when he rang you at 9:30 saying he was just running to the shop to grab the both of you some snacks, he said he’d let himself in about 20 minutes when he got back.

And that is why you were a little surprised when there was knocking on the door about 10 minutes later. You thought that was fast for a start but you gave him the key card so you wouldn’t have to get up and answer the door.

“Come in!” You shout across the room hoping he would hear you.

It seems that he does but his muffled response is, “It’s locked.” when the handle doesn’t budge.

You roll your eyes and mumble, “That’s why I gave you a key.” under your breath as you get up off your bed and head to the door.

And you’re about to scorn him but when the door opens you don’t find your boyfriend. You find your brother.

“Hey.” Matt says, stepping into your room after the door opens.

You’re shocked by his presence but try and act as calm as possible when you say, “Hey, you alright?”

Thank fuck you were still dressed. And thank fuck Alex wasn’t already here because you didn’t want him to find out like that.

But then you realised he’d be here in 10 minutes or so. And that made you want to get Matt out as quickly as possible.

“I’m fine, are you?” Your brother asks once he picks up the complimentary chocolate that the hotel had put on your bed which you were saving for later.

Any other night you would have ripped the shit out of him for coming in and doing that but now was not the time. You were borderline panicking as you were about to be caught out. But you try and disguise that as best as possible.

“Yeah, great thanks.” But really you’re just thinking, Shit.

Your brother asks you, “What do you have planned for tonight?”

Thinking on your feet all you can come up with is, “Just editing more pictures.”

“Fancy blowing it off and watching Netflix with me?” Matt questions and you all of a sudden feel really guilty that you want him to leave as much as you do.

You pull a little bit of a face at his question and try to carry on your lie, “Oh, I would but I’m honestly not feeling all that great after tea, so I was just gunna get an early night after I’ve done a few more pictures.”

“Funny that.” Your brother states when you turn away from him to grab your laptop from your bag as he sits himself down at the end of your bed.

You move towards the little desk that was in the room though and ask, “What is?”

“Alex isn’t feeling too well either.”

Well shit. You were too alike for your own good, coming up with the same excuses without telling the other.

“Oh?” You question, shitting it at this point, so you just open up your MacBook to distract you. “Maybe it was something we ate downstairs?”

All your brother replied was, “Doubt that because I had the same thing as you both.”

You choose no response as your best response and just continue to pull up a picture of Matt you hadn’t finished editing on photoshop yet. Being creative always eased your nerves so hopefully him watching you edit a picture of him would distract him.

“Y/N.” Matt says, trying to gain your attention.  

You instead just carry-on messing with the photograph and suggest, “Maybe you should go check on our friend bro, could be being sick for all we know. Wouldn’t make for the prettiest show tomorrow”

“Y/N…” Matt says once more, and you know he wants you to look at him.

So you do and you see your brother sat on the end of your bed, looking at you. He asks in a serious yet calm tone, “Is Alex really ‘just a friend’ anymore?

Well. You guess you didn’t have to find a way to tell him anymore.

You sigh and shake your head, “No.” and as you close your laptop you tell the truth, “He’s a lot more.”

Matt can tell you’re serious straight away just by the way you were looking at him. And it makes him shake his head a bit in disbelief. He says calmly but in a tone that worries you, as he also runs a hand through his hair, “I knew it.”

“Please don’t be angry Matt.” You all but beg as you turn in your chair towards him more. “It’s my fault we didn't tell you sooner... I didn’t want things to be different with the group, so I was the one who wanted to keep it a secret.”

“You know you didn’t have to do that, right?” Matt has to ask you, feeling awful that you felt like you couldn’t tell him something. “I just want you to be happy... Al’s practically family so of course I want the same for him.”

“I know, I’m really sorry…” You trail off for a second, “It just got to a point where I didn’t know how to tell you and when I tried to things always got in the way.”

Matt nods completely understanding that. At least you wanted to tell him.

“When did it start?” Is the question Matt asks you next.

“New Year’s Day” You say quickly before wincing a little, hearing that it has been 8 months out loud.

You felt so bad.

Matt is shocked by that news too, “That long...? Really?”

“Yeah.” You nod, feeling awful, “I’m sorry.”

Matt ends up asking you a few more questions after that which were pretty much big brother sort of questions, making sure Alex was treating you right and stuff like that. Thankfully this had all gone very plain sailing and Matt was happy for you like you both knew he would be.

And he had forgiven you for not telling him for so long too which was a big relief. It felt like a massive weight off your shoulders.

So much so that you had to get up off your seat and give him a hug. Matt stood up for the embrace, so you got to hug him properly and it was such a lovely warm hug that you felt like you hadn’t had in such a long time.

Halfway through that long hug though, both you and Matt hear the door to your room unlock. You press your lips together and wince a little knowing exactly what is about to happen.

“Hey Y/N/N.” You hear Alex say from somewhere behind you and you let go of Matt and both of you look towards Alex now closing the door, not yet noticing the situation.  

After he closes the door though, he begins to say before he turns towards you, “I got you thes- oh”

Matt smiles though seeing your favourite flowers in his best friend’s hand. You can’t help but smile at the sight of them too, and his face falling realising Matt was here was a little funny too.

He looked a little scared.

“I’m glad you’re treating her right Al.” Matt tells him, and Alex struggles with his words for a second and he looks to you for help.

“I just told him.” You nod confirming it out loud for him.  

Alex’s eyes go from you back to his best mate then and he starts, “Listen Matt, I’m sor-”

But Matt interrupts, “No no I don’t need an apology.” He shakes his head, “Just don’t fuck it up.” He then looks between the both of you, “Either of you... Because that would make for a really awkward tour.”

You smile at that and say, “I don’t plan on doing, and I know he doesn’t either.”

Matt grins at you then and he looks back to Alex and takes a few steps towards him. He points a finger to his chest and says very seriously, “Make her cry Turner, and I'll castrate you.”

Alex slowly nods, “Noted”

Matt must then break into a grin because Alex does too, and your brother then heads over to the door.

Matt turns back towards you and says, “Have a nice night love birds.” and walks out with a grin and he shuts the door behind him.

Both you and Alex stay silent for a second looking at the door almost in disbelief that the thing you’d both waited 8 months to do, was now over. Alex turns around to look at you and you’re both just awkwardly smiling at each other.

Alex puts the plastic bag filled with snacks down on the table he was standing beside and says, “Well you could have pre warned me.”

You shake your head, “I didn’t know he was coming. But he asked me to watch Netflix with him and apparently I gave the same excuse as you.”

“Oh fuck. Clever, aren’t we?” Alex chuckles a little and you nod in response.

Alex holds up the flowers he got for you and you can’t help but smile, “Well, I was hoping to surprise you with these, but you definitely won on the surprise front tonight.”

You giggle at that and you lean up to kiss him after taking the flowers from him, “Thank you my love.”

You briefly put them down whilst you say, “At least we don’t have to stay away from each other anymore.”

“Never going to let you go now Darling.” Alex chuckles before picking you up in a hug and spinning you around. You can’t help but giggle.

The next morning you both ventured downstairs to have breakfast with the others and found that they were all there waiting for you at your table with knowing looks. You and Alex just had grins on your faces knowing Matt would have gone around and told them all before you even got the chance.

They were all of course happy for you but of course you got some jokes and some questions. Jamie had got a bit used to it now, so he was starting with his jokes in private to you but when you sat down, he asked the both of you, “Suck his dick last night?”

“Wow, you’ve been waiting for that one, haven’t you?” You laugh, sitting yourself down next to him, immediately reaching for the menu so you could see what was on offer for breakfast.

The table obviously all laughed, and it was all fun and playful as you imagined it would be. You were glad Matt wasn’t cringing at all the details that you were giving out, as it was things like how far back moments happened, like when Alex asked you out officially and stuff like that.

All of the lads seemed really happy for you and even some of your other friends that were a part of the crew were shocked but buzzing for you. Alex got loads of people saying, ‘You better treat her right’ which made you laugh a lot.

But thankfully it was business as usual, just with the addition of getting to hold his hand and kiss him the odd time when you wanted. You’d rather most of your affection be in private though so not much had really changed on the social front.

Even when you were trying to be discrete about it, you didn’t find it too hard because you were still just the same Y/N and Alex. You’d been friends for years, so the dynamic shift wasn’t all that drastic.

You both were just the same friends that you could walk next to each other and it just be normal. You didn’t have to be touching each other all the time, you’d go walk with Miles or Nick and just go spend time with Alex every now and then.

You were glad that things never felt too different.

You guess the only thing that marginally was different was the first night back on the bus after you’d been staying in the hotel. You were all heading to bed and when you came out of the bathroom after changing, you headed to your own bunk, but then realised you didn’t actually need to.

Alex’s bunk was the top bunk in the middle, so you walked right past your own and straight to his. He was just in his boxers like most of the lads usually were when they slept on this bus.

“Hey.” You say with a big smile.

“Hey.” Alex grins, his messy hair almost falling into his eyes. He makes you smile when he says, “Was just about to come kiss you”

“Vile.” You hear Miles gag from the bunk directly below and you look down at him and frown.

“Miles, he kisses you... What are you on about?” You question, not understanding.

They were literally always touchy feely with each other which you thought was cute and adorable. They’d always been great mates and were close enough to actually perform together using one microphone.

So it made you laugh when Alex lent down over his bunk to say, “Little offended there mate.” to his friend.

Nick bursts out laughing at your backchat and Alex’s hurt and you chuckle along before you glance back to your boyfriend. Once his head was the right way up again you smile at him.

“I can join you for the night now, right?” You ask him and you love the smile that comes to his lips.

He nods, “Course you can.”

So Alex shuffles back in the bunk, enough for you to comfortably jump up and once you lay beside him you can’t stop grinning. It definitely felt weird to be in a bunk with him for everyone to see but it definitely makes you happy, even if it was a tight squeeze.

“Hi” You grin at him as he’s on his side, his back pressed to the wall of the bunk, looking down on you.

“Hey beautiful.” Alex says before he leans down and kisses you.

You of course kiss him back but after a second you quickly part so you can reach down to the curtain and pull it closed. You doubt that Nick wanted to watch from the bunk opposite.

As soon as your lips were back attached to Alex’s though you hear Nick whisper shout to everyone, “It’s starting!”

If your eyes were open, you would have rolled when but you just try to keep the smile off your lips, so you don’t ruin the kiss. And thankfully you both controlled yourselves enough to hold your smiles so you could indulge in a very nice kiss.

“If I hear anything come from that bunk, you don’t want to know what will happen.” Matt calls out loudly and you break apart from the kiss to laugh.

It seems like everyone else found it comical too, but it was even funnier when Jamie asked him, “What are you gunna do? Cry?”

“Fuck off Cookie.” Your brother says back, and you chuckle at that too.

You and Alex keep your curtain closed as the rest of them chat away and you get yourselves comfortable in the bunk. You are basically cuddled together in the bunk, with the duvet over you both, you still on your back and Alex tucked into your neck as he lay on his side.

You were glad you didn’t feel like you were about to roll out of the bunk, so it definitely made sense you were that way around. That and Alex quite liked to pick his head up every few minutes and trap you in another kiss.

A trap you certainly didn’t mind.

Usually when you all got in your bunks, curtains would stay open as you would all chat to each other and one by one curtains would close until you were all knackered and pass out until the next day. So, it wasn’t a shock that tonight you were all talking for quite a while, you and Alex just chatting to each other quietly in your bunk, liking the privacy that the curtain provided.

But after about 15 minutes someone shouted your name, popping yours and Alex’s bubble.

“Y/N?” You hear Jamie call you.

You smile knowing a joke was bound to come your way and respond, “Yeah?”

“I’ve got a question for you.” He informs and you can practically hear him smiling.

You grin at Alex and shout back to Jamie, “Okay, go on.”

“You know because you’re a photographer... Does that mean you take pictures of you and Alex in the bedroom?” Jamie asks teasingly and your immediately roll your eyes, but it doesn’t stop you from playing along.

“Shit.” You say jokingly loud, “How do they know?” You scorn Alex jokingly and he’s just silently laughing.

“Matt.” You call and joke, “Maybe don’t go through that SD card tomorrow.”

Earlier on he asked to see some of the pictures after the gig tonight and you said he could look through them before you started editing them tomorrow.

“I’ll burn it” Matt says back, and you just start silently giggling.

“What are you both up to in there?” You both hear Nick ask.

Alex says in a teasing voice, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Both of you have another few kisses in the time between those jokes and the next time you were heckled. But you were just cuddled when they next started joking.

“They are very quiet up there.” You both hear Miles say.

You shake your head and Alex sighs a little as you hear the rest of them chuckle.

“You doing good? You getting it up, Al?” Miles asks and you both feel him punch the top of his bunk, subsequently the bottom of yours.

You aren’t surprised when Alex doesn’t grace him with an answer.

“Very quiet indeed.” Nick laughs, more than likely looking down at Miles so they could share a laugh.

Jamie seems to jump in then with, “They are definitely biting their tongues.”

“Fuck off all of you.” Matt gets defensive but that just makes it comical.

You decided to upset your brother then by pretending to be annoyed when you scorn them, “You’re all really ruining the mood.”

Alex chuckles at that then, even though you weren’t doing anything. That is what made it funnier to him though.

“Sorry, do you need silence for Alex to get you off.” Jamie asks and it makes you roll your eyes at the question.

You reply, “No.” as an idea comes to mind.

“So you don't mind us carrying on talking then?” Miles asks teasingly. You can practically hear the smirk.

You backchat with, “Not if yous don't mind some noises too?”

“Fire away Hun.”

You brother almost shouts in distress, “No don’t. Both of you stay very fucking quiet.”

Jamie defends you both then, “Oh right so it’s alright when you and Breana fuck but when it’s Alex and Y/N you’re suddenly a prude.”

An argument starts out then with Matt defending himself and then Jamie defending you and so on and then it becomes a big thing. But you find it quite funny that Matt is getting annoyed, so you decide to make your own joke too.

“Al” You whisper, and he looks up at you for you to ask him, “Have you ever seen When Harry Met Sally?”

“Yeah, I watched it with you on the last tour.” He whispers back, reminding you.

You remember him doing now. You’d all had a movie night on the bus during the Suck It And See tour and because you were a little depressed they let you choose the film and you chose that one because it made you laugh.

“Okay, good.” You smirk knowing exactly what you were about to do.

Your boyfriend doesn’t yet get it though, so he asks in a whisper, “Why?”

“Alex” You say a bit louder, a smile you couldn’t hold back drawing to your face.

“What babe?” He asks you and you have to close your eyes, so you don’t break and start laughing.

You try to make your voice sound sultrier and you fake moan louder, “Oh god.”

At that though the boys arguing dies down as Alex whispers, “What are you doing?”

You hold your laugh and, “Alex.” falls from your lips in a breathy moan. And it’s loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Y/N, fuck off.” You hear your brother shout, clearly not amused.

You however come straight back with a very load moan of, “Alex fuck.”

“Matt I’m not touching her.” Alex shouts and you open your eyes to see Alex propped up to the side of you, looking at you like he was scared.

You don’t give it a second thought before you gasp even louder, “Right there Al”

You can hear Miles cackling below you both and you don’t let up with the moans you’re making despite wanting to laugh too. Next you raise your hand up to the ceiling of the bunk as if you’re using it to brace yourself, “Fuck.”

“Oh my god, don’t stop.” You plead in a desperate way as you look to your mortified boyfriend.

“Y/N shut up.” Alex whispers, but it just makes you carry on more.

The fake moans fall from you lips, filling the bunks with your pleads and gasps. Alex is still mortified, but the laughter coming from Jamie, Nick, and Miles just fuels you on.

You go fully Sally Albright on them. A series of loud moans leave your lips like:

“Yes Alex yes!”

“Faster.”

“Oh god.”

“Don’t stop!”  

Alex shouts over your loud voice, “Matt, I fucking swear I’m not touching her!”

The way you moan, “Fuck Al” seems to just dismiss what Alex said straight away though.

“Stop!” Matt shouts back, obviously angry now.

You immediately contradict in a fake moan, “Don’t stop!”

“Alex!” You all but scream as you bang on the ceiling of the bunk again a few times.

You go to take it a step further, but you’re apparently not allowed, “Fuck, Alex plea-”

Your boyfriend puts his hand over your mouth so you can’t carry on. However, you just start dramatically fake moaning, and it sounds a lot dirtier because his hand is over your mouth.

You carry on until you get a rise out of Matt despite Alex pleading with you to stop with a scared look on his face. But you know your brother was about to stop so you just looked at your boyfriend’s gorgeous brown eyes and carried on.

And before you know it Matt is swearing getting himself out of his bunk and the curtain of yours is practically ripped open. As soon as you see sight of your brother you stop the fake moans completely as if it never happened.

Alex holds both his hands up in the air as if he’s being held at gunpoint. Matt can quite clearly see you're fully clothed and have a massive shit eating grin on your face.

“Damn that was good, thanks Al.” You joke to your boyfriend but you’re looking at your brother.

Matt holds up a finger at you and warns, “You’re on very thin ice right now.”

He looks angry and embarrassed all at once. He’s bright red but looks absolutely fuming so you can’t stop your laugh.

You giggle questioning, “Why because you know your best mate can fuck your sister?”

Jamie bursts out laughing at that and you crumble into a louder laugh.

“Stop it.” Alex gasps, playfully hitting your shoulder once again looking petrified as he glanced from you to your brother.

“I don’t need to hear whatever that was.” Matt scorns you and you’re very quick to give him some backchat.

“Did you just admit to us all that you’ve never given Bre an orgasm? Because if you don’t know what those sounds were then I feel sorry for her.” You joke back trying to be cocky.

Jamie’s laugh echoes through the bus and you can hear Miles cackling from below. You could see Nick gasping for breath in a fit of laughter and Alex gasps in shock from beside you.

“You need to fuck off Y/N.” Matt gives you one more death glare before he stalks back to his bunk.

“Oh pull the drum stick out your arse!” You say getting a little annoyed at how your brother couldn’t take a joke. “You better hope our hotel rooms are never next to each other.”

“Shut the fuck up. I won’t tell you again.” Matt says as he gets back into his bunk and shuts his curtain in a strop.

“Aw…” You pout turning back to Alex in your bunk. You give him a quick kiss and then joke, “Better save the next orgasm for the next hotel Darling.”

“I’m begging you to stop talking.” Alex shakes his head, still looking at you a little shocked that you’d actually done what you just had.  

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from Matt.” You giggle, and you say louder so the bus can hear you, “He’s not that scary... Just gotta bring up the time he shat himself when we were in the bat house in Chester Zoo and he quietens right down.”

You all hear Matt shout, “Fuck off!”

You and everyone else on the bus, bar Matt, started laughing then and you were still giggling away when you cuddled yourself into your boyfriend's body. Jamie and Miles begin to applaud you during their continued laughter which just makes your giggles difficult to silence.

Alex is still half shocked as he cuddled you into him, loving your humour but not actually believing you just faked an orgasm that loud on a tour bus surrounded by all your mates and your brother. He shakes his head and kisses the top of yours before telling you, “You’re gunna be the death of me.”

“Least it’ll be a fun death.” You joke and Alex laughs.

“You’re right.” Alex chuckles when you look up at him. You're grinning like an idiot and Alex tells you, “I love you, you psycho.”

“Love you too, weirdo.” You grin and proceed to kiss him sweetly.

After the kiss though you actually want to go to sleep in your boyfriend's arms peacefully. So despite Nick, Miles, and Jamie all still chuckling away, you turn back towards the curtain to redraw it and as you do you catch Jamie’s eye.

You wink at him before drawing the curtain and Jamie wolf whistles, which has you and Alex giggling away together as you cuddle yourself into him once more. You kiss Alex once more before playfully calling out to the others who were still laughing, “Night boys”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Thank you for reading x

[yicruz48]

WHY YOU SHOULD READ TOM TAYLOR’S SUICIDE SQUAD

If you have been following me, you might already taken note how much I go on and on about Suicide Squad. And here’s why: 

1. They are currently one of the most diverse teams in DC. I’ll elaborate later. 

2. They are different from your classic Suicide Squad team. They are WAY more empathetic, heroic and definitely not self-centered.

3. The motivations as to why these characters do what they do is not weak. Even though they are categorized as anti-heroes, it’s difficult not see them as heroic and valid in their reasonings. You will question yourself multiple times if what they did was really wrong and justified. And most likely end up at my conclusion; “It wasn’t the best course of action, but it is definitely justified.” 

4. Not only is Tom Taylor’s Suicide Squad filled with action, but you’ll find yourself laughing every few panels. And you certainly need a laugh after a roller-coaster of emotions Tom Taylor throws your way. 

5. Your fav’s aren’t saved. Tom Taylor said no character was off limits. So get ready for some good angst if your favorite character dies. 

6. I mean your probably already noticed, but the art, colors and letters are AMAZING. You have Bruno Redondo as the artist, Adriano Lucas for colors and Wes Abbott on letters. 

7. As I said before, this Suicide Squad is probably one of the most diverse groups out there, lets start with The Aerie. Who is non-binary. Tom Taylor’s Suicide Squad team made sure they got the character’s design well and didn’t offend anybody. They also consulted other people for advice. 

8. The Aerie and Wink are a queer couple. And let me tell you, there interactions ARE SO CUTE. Anytime I see them together my heart explodes into a million pieces. 

9. Thylacine. Just Thylacine, wow, where to start. Let me just leave these quotes here; 

“Sebbens, an actress, writer, and director of Indigenous descent (who had a small role in Thor: Ragnarok), acted as a consultant on the character alongside Ryan Griffen, creator of dystopian TV show Cleverman.”

“Thylacine, named for the extinct Tasmanian Tiger which lived well into the 20th century, is the first character of Indigenous background in the three decades of the team’s history.” 

10. Fortunately, there is more characters of color where they come from that I didn’t have enough space to give them their own spotlight. You already know about the Aerie, Wink and Thylacine so let me tell you about the others. Osita is Puerto Rican, Jog is French, the Deadly Six is Somalian, T.N.Teen is Argentine and Chaos Kitten is Chinese. 

Here on tumblr we are extremely passionate about representation in comics. We talk about how comics have failed to represent certain characters like Damian, Cass, Duke, Wallace, Emiko, Talia, Lady Shiva, Shado and many, many other characters fairly. 

It’s our job as readers to support comics that do not only try to represent POC fairly but have incredible writing and art. And when I say ‘showing support’, I do not only mean reading and spreading the word about this comic but also buying the issues. 

By using our voice and money and spending it where it deserves to be spent we are demonstrating to DC that THIS is the type of content we wanna see moving forward. Not just diversity done for diversities sake, but done with the intention to make comics more inclusive and diverse.  

We need to support this comic so that DC learns that this should be the standard for every comic. Not only a standard, but a jumping point to do even greater in the future. To make sure character’s of color are colored as they should be, treated carefully so that we don’t have situations where they feed into harmful stereotypes or things like with Bendis where he referred to Damian (one of the most visibly-enthic robins) to a baby Hitler. 

So please take this as an opportunity to start reading and supporting a comic that actually makes the effort to research and design their character’s of color carefully. 

Please take a moment to reblog so we can spread the word about this comic. This comic needs more readers. 

Okay, now I will step down from my soap box and let you guys read the comic.   

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

FanFiction Writer Appreciation Day

i actually read very little fanfic right now because of hectic biologist life/mostly being outdoors + 90% of my “reading” happening via audiobook these days, but I did get back into Dragon Age fanworks again during quarantine/isolation times this spring! so just wanted to highlight the things i’ve been reading, and the writers who’ve created them, for fanfiction writer appreciation day :) Here they are in no particular order besides how I found them in my reblogs/many open tabs. 

Chapter works!

1. Till We From Winter Wake by @asaara-writes​: FenHawke, DA2: Hawke and Fenris are unexpectedly pulled into a Fairytale setting thanks to a mysterius book brought home from the Black Emporium. They must figure out what’s going on to find each other and the way back out. I adore fairytale settings, and I definitely loved this (I may be biased as I also prompted it, but it’s also the truth!). It features mystery, ballroom dancing, delectably unsettling body horror, dramatic fights in the garden, and moments of whirlwind romance between the pair.

2.  Loki by @littleblue-eyedbird​: Solavellan modern AU, Lavellan owns a kitten named Loki who causes mischief by repeatedly sneaking out to steal her neighbor Solas’ boxers... luckily this pushes the pair into interacting more and more. Super cute, super sweet, and super nice to cuddle up and read while you’re pretending the rest of the world doesn’t exist. I don’t really read much fluff but this is one I’m excited to see another chapter of!

3. A Lesson in Drowning by @theherocomplex: FenHawke, DA2. Something terrible is happening in Kirkwall, and something or someone is seeking Hawke out to warn her about it--or are they trying to kill her? This fic is full of secrets, intrigue, unreality, and drama, and Hawke’s descent into maybe madness (or maybe something much more sinister) is enthralling to witness. It’s also given me an entirely new perspective on Orsino that I love. 

4. The Respite Hollow (or, The Ice Was Cold and So Were Their Hearts Until They Fell in Love) by @loquaciousquark​: Fenhawke modern AU, Hawke and Fenris are both competitive figure skaters, and chance (or fate) pushes them together as a pairs partner. This fic is cute, dramatic, and suspenseful all in turn. Covers the confrontation with a modern-era Danarius who you will hate just as much as his cannon in-game counterpart. I have adored watching figure skating since I was a child (even though I failed out of my own lessons, and had to swap to the more brute-force sport of hockey instead) and this fic captures the same magic atmosphere as being in a freshly-zambonied ice rink.

5. Tread Softly by @hauntedfalcon​: FenHawke, post DAI Here Lies the Abyss. I’m now and forever an absolute sucker for Hawke-in (and falling out of)-the-Fade content. The pair (and other DA2 friends) take island life and sailing around the seas of Seheron to fun new heights as they get back to their fun former pastimes of killing slavers/freeing slaves. I always love to read depictions of the Fog Warriors, and was delighted to find a fic in which they more heavily feature. 

6. By Any Other Name and Sulevin Ghilana Hanin by @lesbianarcana​: Fenris x OC, post-DA2 and during the DAI timeline. These two fics are in the same universe, and fun because they feature Asher’s DAI companion OC, Nyssa, as well as canon-established characters. The first story is from Fenris’ perspective after the events of DA2, as he leaves Kirkwall to try to solve the alarming problem of his lyrium-tattoo induced powers no longer functioning correctly. The second is from Nyssa’s perspective as zie joins the Inquisition to help defeat Corypheus--but zie has more to hir backstory/motivations than you’d assume. Having an OC thrown into the mix gives some fun fresh perspectives on the Inquisition gang, and Asher is also doing an AMAZING comic adaptation of By Any Other Name as well!

Short fic! I love one-shots, ficlets, drabbles, and short things that don’t endanger bedtime or mean I have to get off my phone and onto the computer to read. Here’s some highlights!

1. Free by @nug-juggler​: FenHawke, DA2. Hawke dies during the encounter with Danarius. Fenris reacts. Y’all know I love to s u f f e r 

2. solivagants by @roseategales​: Solavellan, DAI. A wonderful tiny exploration of their relationship dynamic that is both painful and true.  

3. alpenglow by @morriqan​: Solavellan, DAI. a cute, steamy, and humorous morning. I couldn’t stop from smiling during this one.

4. Lost by @nug-juggler​: FenHawke, post-DA2. Back to wonderful angst!!! Fenris POV, and he is having trouble remembering exactly what went down in Kirkwall... and exactly how old their kids are. 

5. i. reality // ii. rise and fall by @littleblue-eyedbird​: Solavellan, post-DAI. a very short pair of wonderfully heartbreaking prose, full of that anger/desperation/ longing/regret that this pairing is perfect for.

6. Dulces Sueños, Cariño by @saraheliza95​: Zevran x Surana, DAO: ohoho it’s the ~massage~ scene for this pair, and Zevran is just as sultry as you could desire. 

7. First by @nug-juggler: FenHawke, DA2. Fenris’ first (and second, and third, and) kiss, plus the ever-enjoyable FenHawke bantering that must precede it.

Thank you to all the above writers for making this spring/summer a little more bearable <3 

[uwua3]

hi! first off, congrats on the new blog!! i read that misumi piece and i really enjoyed it hehe,, if it's alright, may i request some domestic fluff with kazunari? mayb looking over old photo albums of each other from when they were kids and laughing and telling stories about what happened in the photos? thank you very much and i hope u have a nice day :D

hi!!! this made me so happy 🥺 thank you so much, i hope to keep this blog running for a long time! also, i saw your reblog of my jealousy hcs and i wanted to say thank you for your sweet comments!!! i go back to it whenever i need motivation, you inspire me to keep writing ♡ thank you! i hope to continue making you proud as a writer :D <3

summary: kazunari had to stop living in the past and make new memories outside of his yearbooks with you

author’s note: this is definitely a much happier piece than my others! this was refreshing to write and i treasure it dearly, it’s definitely much more on the humorous side! no angst today, folks!!! (ok just a little, but it’s barely noticeable!)

this is just a little look into a hoarder named kazunari and his sentimental, nostalgic personality ♡ i, myself, am a marie kondo supporter so i love decluttering! if you are a hoarder like kazunari, honestly go you! you keep those knick knacks that remind you of memories! do whatever makes you the happiest :D

word count: 2,151

music: make you mine – public, tongue tied – grouplove (this song is so Kazunari !!!)

nostalgia.

🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari

it was that time of year again

kazunari hated spring cleaning with a passion. so what if his art supplies were all over the dorms? he knew where everything was! uh, mostly...

(if you ignore his daily panicked house searches which kept everyone up way too late if he couldn’t locate a very specific paint shade for a big project he definitely procrastinated)

so, it took, so much bribery to get kazunari to even consider cleaning out his entire dorm room

(muku was a very Good Boy and already had his side of the room perfectly dusted and organized)

yes, you had to promise to pose as a model for one of his paintings one day (hopefully, not the type of class you were thinking) (kazunari’s suggestive wink didn’t help)

the thing about kazunari was he was somewhat of a, putting it politely, hoarder

as an extremely sentimental person, it would take the whole mankai company to even force him to throw something away

(“no! it has a special meaning to me! i remember what happened when i got this~” kazunari would whine, holding the useless item between his hands with no intentions to ever look at it again)

so the boys employed you to be kazunari’s rational judgement when cleaning that day

(“please actually make him do something.” sakyo looked like he was on the border of begging; kazunari’s abundance of random knick knacks and shopaholic addiction problem was becoming an issue that affected everyone)

rule #1 of cleaning kazunari’s storage room: don’t open anything because kazunari will become very sentimental and nothing will get gone

so therefore, as a team, you two tackled the rather spotless room. the interior was minimal and modern, just like kazunari liked it with pops of color here and there

(he had one blank white wall and you realized it was the backdrop he used to film all his social media posts [dancing tik toks, fashion #ootds on instagram, daily vlogs on his growing youtube channel])

at first, you were confused where all his stuff went until you opened a closet against his terrible and unconvincing distractions

without time to react, you found yourself buried in tens of books you couldn’t even fathom how it all fit

(“i’ve played way too much tetris.” kazunari would admit later on when asked about his immaculate stacking)

“you’ve got to be kidding me!” you groaned, pushing your head above the surface of book covers that have either never been opened or were way too old to even be functionable

“i’m sorry~ please, forgive me!” kazunari pleaded, immediately pulling you out of his own mess and using all his cuteness to make you roll your eyes fondly at your best friend

you almost started ranting at him about the dangers of taking up too much closet space with useless items before you realized:

wait! stop! he’s trying to get you to forget about throwing these books out! you thought suddenly, crossing your arms as you stared at the pile, trying to figure out how to approach the situation

“you cannot distract me. we are going through this mound and you will be getting rid of something today.” you ordered, seeing his shoulders drop in defeat as he nodded solemnly, but accepting his fate without any arguments. thank god for that

you two bent down and organized all the books into categories. popular photography instruction guides, creative advice columns, and all his past art textbooks kazunari couldn’t sell were put into a seperate group because luckily, they were relevant to his art school

things like old newspapers with funny comics were recycled (you refused to let kazunari read them in fear of invoking some form of nostalgia) (also because he had the whackiest sense of humor ever and would die laughing)

it was going well, until you reached the thickest photo books of them all (you had almost forgotten what you and kazunari’s school mascot was)

but unsurprisingly, kazunari had every single yearbook from each year of his education all the way until his last year in high school piled high to his chest

even he looked somewhat shocked from his mass accumulation from his teen years

“ah! i’m so old now~ look at all this! what else can i do except die?!” kazunari dramatically flopped onto his bed, tired of lifting so much weight. hey! his arms weren’t meant for exercise, he was a painter!

lifting his head to see you were distracted from alphabetically sorting the first section lovingly dubbed, “art shit”, kazunari mischeviously grinned as he leaned down to snatch a random yearbook

flipping to a random page, kazunari smiled as he realized it was the first time he ever met you back in elementary

kazunari sang your name as he sat upwards, having a shit–eating look on his face as he started swinging his legs back and forth

oh no, he was up to something no good, you knew it but humored him anyways

“yes, kazu?” you turned your line of sight to the most horrible picture possible: you with the ugliest haircut in the entire world with kazunari’s black hair taking up the entire photo as you two sheepishly smiled for the camera. it was not a proud moment

okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad, you just couldn’t help but shriek at the sight of your hair

“oh my god! you can’t just jumpscare me like that!” you laughed despite yourself. you knew you had to be serious and focused on decluttering, but one look at your past made you remember all the good times before so–called “adulthood”

“look at your hair!” you cackled, reaching up to playfully yank at his mullet as he yelped and lightly smacked your hand away. rubbing the back of his neck, kazunari huffed childishly and pouted like he was back in his youth

“come on! this was the pinnacle moment i realized, i should not be a hair dresser.” kazunari commented, making you remember how you just let a random 8–year–old boy waddle up to you with safety scissors and advertise his salon business like a professional

(yes, you bought into it right away. your teacher had a heart attack when she saw you with a majority of your hair on the floor and kazunari keeping small talk like an actual hair stylist)

thinking back after the haircut incident, you weren’t allowed to chat with the funny class clown anymore as you were forced to wear a hat every day

(it was either that or go completely bald to fix the job kazunari did to your head)

it wasn’t until you received a very creative and colorful apology letter with tons of sad faces drawn with waxy crayons that you snuck out to play with him on the swings in recess

“i can’t believe we became friends because i wanted free hair cuts for the rest of my life.” you added, staring at the picture with a sense of nostalgia. you kinda got where kazunari was coming from, memories were fun to look at every once and a while

at least, eleven years worth of memories after being inseperable from that moment forward

(maybe, you should’ve held onto it, you thought, not knowing that would be the first of many art pieces you would be gifted by him)

kazunari knew he won. excited, he dropped down to lay on his stomach as you leaned against the bed, watching as he thumbed through the pages with ease, leaning his head on yours comfortably

it was rare to find kazunari quiet, he must’ve been like this all the time when going through his stuff, you thought, at peace for once

lazily smiling, kazunari put his finger against your yearbook pictures as he reminisced on the past. something about everyone ever in your grade, how kazunari knew everyone and had a special memory with each person, no matter how big or small

“—and here, the teacher somehow caught a pic of us swinging wayyy too high for kids our age!” kazunari laughed, breaking your train of thought as you snickered at the absolute joy radiating from both your faces as you two competed to see who could reach the clouds

(kazu won. you fell off right after and had to get picked up from your parents after badly scraping your knee. it took another sorry letter and art of you two holding hands with a heart for your parents to forgive kazunari)

“let’s go back.” you interrupted him, making him sit up confused as you swung your keys out from your back pocket. it didn’t take any convincing for kazunari to nod right away and took the elementary yearbook into his arm

you two only had to exchange a secret look before formulating a plan to sneak out, leaving music on from kazunari’s speakers to act like kazunari was still cleaning

you two giggled amongst yourselves before clambering into your car, speeding off and laughing loudly from your successful getaway. the manager was none the wiser!

during the short car ride, you and kazunari played your favorite mixtape of all time

(“you kept this?!” kazunari yelled, giddily bouncing up and down from excitement when he discovered the mixtape stash)

he slipped the disc in as you two yelled along to childhood favorites with the windows rolled down, letting the entire neighborhood know the best duo were back in town

(seriously, there were so many you stashed away in your glove department. all labeled in sharpie with compelling titles connected to the inside jokes only you two found funny)

arriving at the destination, you two exited the vehicle to see the play pen was abandoned as the teaching staff went home for the day

the sun was setting and it felt like the playground was in another rift of time as you approached it, hearing the weak movement of the swings going back and forth on their own. you sat down, holding onto the chains. you hadn’t been back ever since you graduated. it hadn’t changed at all

kazunari opened the elementary yearbook back to the original page, pulling out his tripod and phone he always had on hand in his backpack as he set it up right across the swing set

“what are you doing?” you inquired, tilting your head as he fumbled around pressing different buttons and filters too complex for you to remember

looking up, kazunari grinned as he set a timer for 10 seconds before sprinting back to the swing next to you

“swing contest right now! i bet i could swing higher than you ever could!” kazunari challenged childishly, quickly kicking his legs for the momentum. you narrowed your eyes, refusing to lose as you two laughed over the sound of his phone taking a burst of photos

you realized what he was doing. he was re–creating your memories together

but you turned to look at him and your heart skipped a beat. you never remembered him looking this, different, in the purple lighting. for a flashing moment, you swore you saw the silhoutte of his black–haired, child self sit next to you before you blinked and saw him. kazunari was the same, just older now

you slowed down your swing by dragging your sneakers against the wood chipped ground. you grabbed both the swings’ chains to hold them together

you didn’t want to live in the past anymore. you wanted to grow up with him, too

“what—” kazunari started, matching your pace before being cut off by your lips against his, the phone going off for one last time

you pulled yourself in close enough just to smile. he smelled the exact same as he did when he discovered cologne for the first time. he never changed

you pulled away first even if he tried leaning forward for more, like he was waiting all these years just for that one moment. like he saw you in the same light, too

“i wanted to do that for years.” you confessed, watching as he took your hand carefully, like he was afraid you were going to leave. for once, he didn’t know what to do, which face to show

“me too...” kazunari agreed, seemingly speechless before straightening his back, like he was about to run away. the hair on your neck stood up, what was he about to do?

“i promise i won’t cut your hair anymore, unless?” kazunari winked dramatically, mimicking the shape of scissors with his fingers as he tried snipping at your hair

he laughed as you shoved him with all your might, hopping off the swing to chase him throughout the school parking lot

now this was a memory kazunari would never throw away, no matter what

(no one thought the two of you escaped until kazunari posted the pics on his instagram, both of you getting a scolding from sakyo this time)

(busted!)

[millennialzadr]

WHY I LOVE ZADR!!!

HEY GUYS WHASSUP? LMAO

So this is a whole ass giant long post of me absolutely spewing my feelings of love for ZADR, it was the very first thing I wrote when I made this blog and I think it’s a nice, positive thing for my fellow shippers to inhale and enjoy 👌���

it was originally a reply to mitarashiart’s post about why HE loves ZADR (link in replies) but I decided to delete that and make my own post since MY WHOLE ENTIRE TEXT WALL WAS SHOWN IN THE REPLIES and drowned out anyone else who was trying to talk (thanks tumblr mobile u fuckin idiot)

I had also posted a summary of an AU that I’m working on in the original post, but decided to remove it since it just about doubled the length (I’m thinking about posting it separately along with the wips I’ve been putting together, we’ll see 👀)

But ANYWAY, here is about a million reasons why I think ZADR is the fucking best, so if you like reading gushy gay ship feelings, please enjoy ❤️❤️❤️

[Posted June 2019][WARNING, LONG ASS THOUGHT BARF]

SOOO, holy hell y’all my journey back into this fandom has been a wild and unique experience for me, i went from adding invader zim to my bookmarks on kisscartoon, rewatching the series, finding out theres a movie coming out, finding out there was a shitload of content i’d never seen before (commentaries, lost episode scripts and audios, panels, the COMIC, episodes i’d never seen because the dvd i used to watch was scratched!! and a FUCKLOAD of quality modern fan art like oh my GOD) and finally curiously googling ‘zadr’ (which i was way into when i was maybeee 13/14) to see if there was any interesting new art, and holy hell, mita (the artist above) singlehandedly THREW me down the hole into modern zadr hell, first with his absolutely stunning IZ art (all his art is dope tho check him out yo), then reading the above explanation put the final nail in the coffin like, 100%

so i wanted to add onto his post here on why this ship got me so fucked up, both for anyone who might be wondering why on earth i’m shipping two characters from a kid’s show (i’m very aware how weird that is at first glance trust me) and also so i can get some ideas down for possible future reference (will i ever draw them? maybe)

(first of all, a disclaimer, and this is not pleasant to write but it’s important to address for clarity’s sake: I have no interest in romantic or sexual relationships between minors, and do not ship zim and dib as they are presented canonically in the show (as children). what i’m interested in is the conceptualized relationship they may have as modern adults, and i view zadr more as taking the concepts of existing characters and experimenting with them with different interpretations, which i personally think is a constructive and fun creative outlet, especially if these characters hold personal significance for you (childhood faves of course). growing up together is an important facet of their relationship, and certainly they were important to each other even as children (see: mopiness of doom) but as an adult i’m personally curious about what kind of adults they might’ve become, and that’s the focus of my interest. i’ll still be reblogging regular IZ art because it’s dope but if you see shippy looking art of them as tiny lil beans its either friendship or chibis (and i personally headcanon zim as getting taller with dib but some people stick with his canonical height when drawing them as adults, which is super short. it still doesn’t mean he’s a kid). aaand i wish i didnt have to write this and it would just be obvious but we live in a sick sad world and it is sourced from a children’s cartoon so i feel its necessary. end of disclaimer)

NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY

- ok, first reason’s a bit obvious - the nostalgia. holy hell, the feeling of rediscovering a ship that was popular when i was a preteen during the mid 2000s and discovering a totally new perspective on it as an adult comes with an almost totally overwhelming sense of nostalgia and comfort, as well as inspiration!! the kind of art that seems so common for zadr, these sketch pages of scenes and expressions and visual gags where artists would just scribble every idea they had and LOVE doing it, this was exactly the kind of art that made me so passionate about drawing as a kid, and it still sparks such a powerful feeling of love and admiration for me to this day. fan content of iz and zadr is simultaneously achingly familiar and totally new and fascinating, and it just makes me SO damn happy to consume, it is most definitely my new comfort content. and just, GOD. THE ART!! SO GOOD. FUCK

- now for the characters themselves: for some reason i just really love the thought of a mid twenties, modern Dib?? lanky goth dork, disaster bi, depressed as shit, uses bad sweaters and memes to cope?? when i was a kid i didn’t even LIKE Dib, but now i totally sympathize with him! he’s just a hyper obsessive nerd wishing there was more to life than the situation he got stuck with, how wildly relatable. he was a pretty big asshole as a kid (even to people besides zim) but he was also totally isolated and constantly bullied, so there’s a lot of room for growth. i feel there’s a lot of juicy character development potential for that boy, and there’s always been a special place in my heart for characters who are totally sad and screwed and hopeless, but there’s one thing, or person, that means the world to them and could possibly save them…

- aliens. Zim. i love nonhuman characters, i love monsters, i love aliens, i love characters that don’t understand human shit (and thus have much less room for shame or fear bc theyre just totally oblivious the negatives of modern society) and need guidance (bonding!!) from their human. i also love morally grey characters and characters with skewed logic, they’re always really interesting, and Zim himself just has such a unique personality and set of mannerisms, he contradicts himself a lot and you can never quite expect how he’ll behave, and i love that in a character, it makes them super versatile and fun, especially since there’s so many different possibilities for their development. Also, Zim is a gremlin, a little shit, and a disaster. I also love those traits in a character. And don’t even get me started on his character design?? big sparkly eyes? expressive antennae? monster teeth? complimenting colors? he’s adorable.

- mutual obsession. for someone like Dib, who seems almost repulsed by how boring and slow the people around him are, Zim quite literally personifies Dib’s  escapist fantasies, both as an inhuman entity from beyond the stars, and as a person who’s knowledge, charisma and mystery far exceeds that of anyone Dib has met in his entire life. (so basically what i’m saying is that for a shunned, jaded misanthropist, an actual alien is terribly alluring, even if said alien is dangerous, stupid, and possibly insane). not to mention Zim vindicates Dib’s entire life passion, the supernatural! Even when their relationship is totally negative, there is not a single inch of room for Dib to get tired of Zim. as mita explained, they validate each other. for Zim, WHO AGAIN, IS TOTALLY SHUNNED, ISOLATED, AND HATED BY EVERYONE HE KNOWS, Dib is the only person in the universe who gives a single shit about him!! he gives Zim credit as a threat, a capable invader, which if you ask me is the sole thing Zim is after (he’s hellbent on his mission because it would win him the approval of the tallest, all he’s ever wanted is recognition from the people he thinks so highly of). He literally gets depressed when Dib isn’t around to pay attention to him, not even the tallest were enough to motivate him before Dib came back. these two have no one and nothing without each other, and while lifelong nemeses is fine and dandy, i personally prefer friendship, affection and love, cause i’m a softie like that. how could they possibly get there after years of actively trying to kill each other?? well, i think under just the right circumstances it could become a possibility after a long, long time.

- growth. i. love. me. some. good. character growth. especially for characters with trauma/mental illness, bc again, relatable. these boys have issues, and as mita mentioned, their canon stories are actually INCREDIBLY sad! but the happy thought is, they could recover! they could help each other recover, for little reason other than the two are the only source of happiness for each other. now of course this also opens the gate for angst lovers, but at the same time offers potential for comforting, uplifting content of the boys supporting and inspiring each other, maybe even to the point of becoming happy and healthy enough to create the lives they want for themselves (as in appreciating life and doing things that make them actually happy instead of the delusions of grandeur they both sought when they were younger). gimme that positive shit and let the poor beans be happy  щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

- LITTLE THINGS. LITTLE THINGS THAT ONLY COME WITH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. WITH HUMAN/NONHUMAN. WITH THE SHOW’S WEIRD LOGIC. Zim being the person Dib knows best and vice versa. Zim having an involuntary respect/admiration for Dib because he’s tall. Learning each other’s needs, limits, and communication methods, both emotionally and biologically. Sensitive antennae. Affectionate bickering. Being less insecure bc your partner literally has no idea why you see your flaws as flaws. Laughing at the flaws they do notice because they make no sense. Zim only wanting to eat waffles and chow mein. Dib being forced to overcome his depression lethargy and stay hygienic/keep the apartment clean because Zim has a sharper sense of smell and is afraid of germs. Endless conversation about anything and everything because they’re from literally different worlds, and endless intrigue. TOUCHING. TALKING. DOING EVERYTHING LIKE ITS THE VERY FIRST TIME AND ALWAYS NEEDING THE OTHER TO GUIDE THEM. HOLY HELL THERE IS SO MUCH POSSIBILITY FOR TINY LITTLE MOMENTS THAT MEAN THE WORLD. FUCK. GOT ME FUCKED UP.

so that wraps up the why. fuck man. its just such a good ship. if you read this big ass text post, thank you for indulging me, i hope you enjoyed it! because i enjoy it very much 👀 so stick around if you’d like to for a shit load of IZ and zadr content on this blog, possibly (MAYBE) even from me!! come roll around in alien hell with me why dontcha ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ its a fun time! thanks for reading!!!

-

SO THAT’S MY MANIFESTO Y’ALL, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH YOUR OWN REASONS!! I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS POST TO JUST BECOME A BIG GIANT PILE OF LOVE AND YELLING!! GO NUTS! SCREAM ABOUT IT! INFODUMP! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I’LL READ EVERY LAST REPLY! Y’ALL DESERVE TO ENJOY YOUR SHIP BC IT’S LITERALLY THE FUCKING BEST!!! LOVE Y’ALL!!!!!!

[taeheyhey]

Close to Normal

Chapter 18 - What Are We Doing Now?

Taehyung x Reader - Fluff/Angst - 3.8k words

A/N - Helloooo! Here is chapter 18, I hope you all enjoy it a lot! If you have time or the inclination, please leave me a like or a comment or a wee reblog, it really helps motivate me to keep on writing and to try to create better things. BTW If you have sent me a request, rest assured I'm getting through them!

Thank you for being so lovely to me and for reading my story...it means the world! ♥

One ~ Two ~ Three ~ Four ~ Five ~ Six ~ Seven ~ Eight ~ Nine ~ Ten ~ Eleven ~ Twelve ~ Thirteen ~ Fourteen ~ Fifteen ~ Sixteen ~ Seventeen ~ Eighteen ~ Nineteen ~ Twenty ~ Twenty-One ~ Twenty-Two

It had taken some time and an awful lot of effort, but for the most part life had returned more or less to normal. There were still times, particularly when you weren’t working at the bar or otherwise occupied, where thoughts of Taehyung would take up residence in your mind and stubbornly stay there for an hour or two, sometimes longer. On more than a few of these occasions you had felt the very powerful urge to crack open your ancient laptop and indulge in a quick image search, just to remind yourself that, yes: that inhumanly beautiful, kind and talented man had brightened the mundanity of your life for the briefest of moments.

You had decided early on it would be advisable to persist in resisting these urges to the best of your ability, mostly for your own emotional well-being. There was no way you could trivialise the significance of the time you had spent together, but to dwell on the loss of it was ultimately unconstructive and damaging, and you decided you had spent far too much of your life allowing the actions of others to dictate your own. You would always treasure those few days with Taehyung, but you told yourself that you could – and would – move on from it.

Not only did you tell yourself, you also told Ronnie, loudly and often. There would probably have been more chance of him believing you if he hadn’t decided to check in on you on one of your nights off. He had found you most of the way through a bottle of wine and a large Toblerone, the room in darkness but for the glow from the laptop, headphones in and completely engrossed and teary-eyed over a compilation video of Taehyung with animals, gesturing despairingly in silence at the video. You had woken the following morning with a hangover and a half-melted chocolate triangle stuck to your neck and committed to a YouTube and all round Taehyung internet search ban for the sake of your sanity.

Still the hours turned in to days and then in to weeks as they have a tendency to do and before you knew it, it had been three months since that fateful night at the hotel in the city. You had spent a large potion of your days searching for an extra job to help Ronnie pay for the upkeep of the bar. He refused to let you work for him for room and board and insisted on paying you a wage, even though dwindling patron numbers and rapidly increasing rent meant he could scarcely afford it.

“I know you don’t like talking about it with me Ronnie, but how long can we realistically keep this place open if we keep having nights like last night?” you called to him behind the bar.

He was rearranging the bottles of liquor and spirits for want of something to do. He would normally be re-stocking the fridges but given that only two bottles had been removed from them, it wouldn’t have occupied him for very long.

You were counting out the money from the previous day, not that it took a great deal of time to do so. Over the space of five hours, four people had walked through the door of Ronnie’s. One was Peter, two made up an elderly couple who came in once a week to nurse one drink each over a two hour period, and the last had been a gentleman who had gotten lost on the way to the city centre and needed to use the bathroom. You had at least managed to talk him in to buying a coke.

“What’s all this 'we' talk? It’s not your problem to worry about.” He retorted, shifting his eyes indecisively back and forth between an unopened bottle of beer and the large mug of black coffee you had placed in front of him some minutes earlier.

You observed him through his reflection in the mirror behind the bar, and to your immense relief he turned to face you with the mug in his hand, before walking around the bar to sit down and join you. “What do you mean 'not my problem'? If Hannah comes back and finds out I’ve not been looking after you, she’ll nag both of us to the brink of insanity.”

He grumbled in acknowledgement. “She always was like her mother,” he smiled sadly and sighed, taking a large gulp of his drink to cover up the waver in his voice.

You reached over the table and placed your hand on his forearm and squoze in what you hoped was a reassuring manner. Hannah had been gone for over half a year now, and he was obviously missing her, and you used the ensuing silence to consider how best to respond to Ronnie’s sudden melancholy.

You had learned not to push it when it came to his vulnerable moments, you simply had to take your cues from him and wait to see if he elaborated, if he did not the most constructive option was to move the conversation on to something else. Usually food.

“Should I go down to the cafe and get us some lunch?” You proposed after waiting a sufficient amount of time for him to continue the conversation should he wish to do so.

As if by magic his face brightened, and even if it was solely for you benefit you were relieved, knowing that he would be embarrassed later on if he continued to wallow in front of you. He reached in to his pocket to retrieve his wallet, and you placed a stilling hand on his shoulder.

“Please just let me do this at least? Peter gave me a twenty last night.” You announced, pulling the note from the back pocket of your jeans and holding it aloft like a precious relic.

“Jesus, what’s that all about?” Ronnie pondered aloud, shuffling off his chair and making for the sink with his now empty mug, picking up yours on the way.

Peter had been a fixture in the bar almost all day, every day since you had begun working at Ronnie’s, always wearing the same brown overcoat and thin-lipped grimace beneath his unkempt beard, and he rarely tipped, only at Christmas and on the rare occasions he had won at the horses. “Who knows? Maybe he’s secretly loaded?”

“Well it would make sense, it’s hard not to make a success of yourself with that level of charisma,” Ronnie quipped in response.

You smiled wryly and pulled on your hoodie, pulling open the front door as Peter barrelled in with impeccable timing. As the door closed behind you and your stepped out in to the drizzling rain, you heard Ronnie bellow an overly enthusiastic greeting at Peter for comic effect.

You pulled your hood over your untidy hair and shoved your hands in to your pockets as you faced in to the wind on your way to the cafe. You could remember running down this path away from Taehyung playfully and feeling as though you didn’t have a care in the world. You imagined how different a figure you cut now, shoulders hunched over against the weather, eyes downcast as you allowed the grief to consume you just for this walk; just while you were alone.

In much the same way as Ronnie’s rapid switch from his gloomy countenance earlier was largely for your benefit, your own emotional recovery was feigned in large part to reduce how often you would find him watching you with ill-concealed concern plastered across his face. Your despondency was abruptly overpowered by guilt as you wondered how much of Ronnie’s own sadness at missing his daughter he had successfully hidden from you as you wallowed in the wake of Taehyung’s departure.

Before you could think on it for much longer you had arrived at the cafe. You placed your fingers around the door handle and took a deep breath in. You hadn’t been in here since that morning with Taehyung, and you felt that familiar clenching in your heart and the hot sting behind your eyes. Again, you allowed yourself to feel it only for a few moments before exhaling and pushing down on the handle.

There were no more than three tables occupied in the cafe, the breakfast rush long since ended, and those that were seated paid little attention to you as you entered the room, save for the couple by the front door who grumbled simultaneously as a sliver of the outside was allowed in with your arrival.

Over by the counter you could see Jess talking intimately with a young man wearing a woollen hat pulled down over his ears, and she giggled coquettishly as he stretched over the bar and planted a peck on her cheek. She looked so happy. That is until she raised her eyes at the sound of the door being blown shut again and found you smiling warmly at her. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped loose, the beginning of your name falling from her open mouth.

You frowned, perturbed by her reaction to your presence, until the man in the hat turned to the entrance to follow the line of Jess' gaze. Mark.

You could feel your eyebrows make a mad dash towards your hairline as you took in their shocked expressions, almost comical in their similarity. After a beat you allowed your face to relax as you strolled over to them, trying not to be unsettled by the dual frozen stare you were being subjected to.

You could understand why they were freaked out, but you were honestly more interested in getting back to Ronnie equipped with lunch.

“Hi,” you offered in greeting to both of them, although it left your mouth as a question.

“I’m, um...just going to...” Mark awkwardly shuffled around you and headed for the restrooms, almost pushing open the ladies door in his fluster.

You were left face to face with Jess, whose eyes were still the size of saucers and whose mouth was opening and closing uselessly like a fish. “Y/N I...” she finally mumbled.

“Jess, calm down. What do you think is happening right now?” You had absolutely no issue with her, you never had, and you certainly were not going to allow something as inconsequential as your ex-boyfriend dating her make that somehow be otherwise.

She still looked edgy and incredibly apologetic, her eyebrows knitted together in a picture of remorse. “Did someone tell you about us? Is that why you’re here?”

You sighed heavily. “Honestly Jess, I just want a sandwich. No offence, but I genuinely couldn’t care less that Mark’s out there again.” You ran your finger down the menu as you spoke, your focus on the task at hand. You raised your eyes to meet hers earnestly for a moment. “Is he good to you?”

She eyed you warily as though it was a trick question. “Yes,” she eventually answered, her posture relaxing visibly. “Oh,” she said suddenly, her face lighting up with realisation and relief. “You were with that really good-looking guy right? Of course. Jesus,” you could see her eyes glaze over and you knew she was trying to visualise him. “How’s that going?” Her tone was jovial now and she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively the way she had when you had sat opposite Taehyung a quarter of a year ago.

You gave a tight-lipped smile in response and returned your gaze to the menu so she couldn’t see the tears begin to gather at the memory. “It’s not,” you answered quietly.

“Oh,” came her reply, and she reached over the counter cautiously before awkwardly patting the top of your hand that was resting there.

Mark chose this moment to resume his position opposite Jess on the customer side of the counter, with a slight angle adjustment to ensure he left a wide area to allow for your presence as though you might physically lash out at any moment. Jess shifted her eyes back and forth between the two of you and the entire situation suddenly struck you as totally ridiculous, breaking you from your sombre reminiscence and causing an amused snort to burst forth from you, making Mark jump almost a foot in the air such was the anxiety you seemed to have instilled in him.

The tension broken between you and Jess at least, she joined you in your laughter much to Mark's chagrin, his expression only causing you both to laugh harder. “What are you having then?” She managed after taking some deep breaths.

“Two large BLTs please, hold the lettuce and tomato on one.”

She smiled and nodded, turning to face the grill and seeing to your order, leaving you and your ex-boyfriend to stand side-by-side in uncomfortable silence, from his perspective at least.

Just as Jess began to wrap the two sandwiches in paper, Mark turned to you. “How have you been?”

The words were strained, forced, and you knew he must feel embarrassed about the last time you had seen him.

“Good,” you answered noncommittally. “You?”

“Well you know...” he muttered while you fantasised about nails scraping down a chalkboard as a preferable alternative to this conversation. “Are you still seeing –”

“We really don’t need to do this, Mark,” you cut him off, gratefully accepting the two wrapped parcels as Jess handed them over to you. She took the twenty from your grasp in turn and pushed seemingly random buttons in the register to open it. You leant close to your ex so you couldn’t be heard by anyone else. “Don’t fuck this up with her, okay?” you advised sincerely before taking your change and offering them both a genuine parting smile, pulling the front door open once more to incur the passive-aggressive wrath of the chilly couple by the entrance.

 ~~~

“I still don’t understand why you want us all to wear these, Jimin.” Jin called out as he stood in the doorway of the studio, a pink towelling headband adorned with a spotted bow dangling from his long finger and held away from his body with faint disgust in his expression as though it smelled unpleasant.

Jungkook was adjusting his own headband in the wall of full length mirrors at one end of the entirely white room, frowning as he pulled it forwards and then pushed it back again. “Because it’s funny, hyung,” he answered on Jimin’s behalf as he saw him speaking quietly with a blatantly forlorn Taehyung in the opposite corner of the room.

Namjoon had been standing with them initially, the three of them whispering with their heads close together, the leader occasionally extending his arm around Taehyung to massage his shoulder soothingly. He had left just as Jin had entered, striding from the room purposefully with a determined expression on his face, and the oldest had watched him walk down the corridor to his own studio in confusion.

Hoseok appeared from behind Jin and walked over to crouch beside the maknae, affectionately ruffling his hair and undoing the work he had done to position the pink material to his satisfaction. “What makes it funny, Kookie?”

Despite his mild annoyance at the disruption, he smiled a toothy grin up at the dancer and pulled at the two sides of the bow so they stood almost vertically from the top of his head. “Just look at it,” he raised his hands to frame them around his latest adjustment to emphasise his words. Hoseok clearly remained unconvinced but returned the grin anyway, straightening up and walking back out of the room to get his make up fixed before the broadcast began, grabbing one of the remaining four headbands from the small box Jimin had placed on a chair by the door on his arrival.

Jin still stood at the door, placing his hands at his hips and eyeing Jungkook suspiciously. “Ya, Jungkook-ah, you never agree with Jimin’s ideas. What’s going on? What are you up to, both of you? Is it a prank? A hidden camera?” With each question he strode further in to the room, and the intonation of his voice rose until it was almost manic. He came to a halt beside Jungkook in front if the mirror and haphazardly dragged the head over his thick black hair and examined his reflection. “It’s ruining my handsome face, ah!” He joked loudly as one side of the band lay heavily over one eye, forcing it shut.

There was a weird energy in the room and Jin was doing his best to remedy it, and as always he was ecstatic to find Jungkook laughing fondly at him. He laughed even harder as Jin removed the band from his head and stepped in to it, one foot at a time, and pulled it up so that it was somehow encircling his waist, and began to dance around the room in an effort to catch Taehyung’s attention with the intention of perhaps making him laugh too. He had been so dejected since their arrival home all those weeks ago and – while the second youngest had seemed much quieter in general that year – it still worried him and the other members, but as the oldest, Jin felt a large amount of responsibility for all of them, especially the three youngest.

Having finished in the make up room, Hoseok returned to the mirror to attempt to display the towelling monstrosity in a vaguely flattering way. He turned to Yoongi, who had been sat silently on the floor the entire time they had been in the dance studio with the bow already perched atop his bleached hair, and huffed out a sigh. “You are okay with this, hyung?”

Yoongi looked up as though noticing there were other people in the room for the first time, lowering his phone in to his lap. “It’s something to do with Taehyung and his girl,” he said nonchalantly, but such was the quiet in the room as Jin had chosen that moment to cease leaping around it, that the sound of his voice travelled across the studio. “Just wear it.” The five other members turned to stare at him in astonishment, and he retrieved his phone from between his crossed legs unperturbed. “What? I thought everyone knew. We’ve been doing such weird stuff these past couple of months.” He shrugged and carried on watching music videos on his phone.

It took a few moments for the members to unfreeze, almost as though when Yoongi has pressed play on his media player it had affected the members too. The three youngest exchanged worried glances and Hoseok continued to stare mutely at his fellow rapper.

The eldest stood dumbly as the cogs whirred around in his mind. The penny dropping was almost audible and if the room had been dark Jin would swear the others would have seen the lightbulb ping on above his head. “Jimin-ah,” he called out accusatorily across the room. “Is that why you asked me to learn to play that song?”

 ~~~

With the wind at your back and the strange sense of closure you felt following your encounter with Mark and Jess at the cafe, your steps felt swifter and a little lighter as you made your way back to the bar with your precious cargo.

You missed Taehyung. There was no denying it. You supposed a part of you would always miss Taehyung and mourn what could have been had circumstances been entirely different on all fronts. Having said that, had the situation been entirely altered, you imagined there would have been absolutely no reason for him to come to your part of the world. Either way it remained wholly pointless to speculate on what could have been, even if it was a perfectly wonderful way of spending your time when it didn’t feel like a million pins pricking at your heart.

If Mark was able to pull himself from his funk and get back out there, then so could you. Not that you had any intention to start trying to date again, but thinking back on the state you last found Mark in three months ago, the improvement was jarring and caused the tiniest spark of optimism in you. Mark had four entire years to move on from, surely getting over three days would be an absolute breeze in comparison...right?

You arrived back at the bar and pushed the door ajar with your shoulder as you cradled the sandwiches. Walking over to the bar, you handed Ronnie the sandwich containing only bacon and took in the strange expression on his face. He looked to be on the verge of laughter but desperately trying to hold it in, his face reddening from the effort.

“Ronnie, what on earth is going on? Is everything alright, you look...” You weren’t sure how you should finish the sentence. In all honesty he looked constipated.

A weird squeak escaped him as he opened his mouth to speak. “Y/N, I know you’ve had a rough few weeks, but...” he clasped his hands together in barely-concealed delight, his face stretched in to a smile so broad it was hurting your cheeks just looking at him. “There’s someone here who might just make you feel a little bit better.”

Your entire body froze, even your heart felt as if it had stopped. It couldn’t be, could it? You stared unblinking at the door Ronnie was gesturing flamboyantly at as though he were a magician at a child’s birthday party, your breathing coming in short, sharp gasps and you felt light-headed from the lack of oxygen reaching your brain.

“Are you ready?” he asked excitedly, his voice booming, though you may as well have been under water given the way his question sounded to your ears.

Your voice was barely a whisper as Ronnie stretched out his hand to wrap it around the doorknob, drawing out the tension unintentionally cruelly and indulgently. “Yes.”

“Ta-da!” he announced and pulled open the door with a flourish.

“Y/N!” Your best friend since practically birth screeched joyfully as she ran towards you with open arms, and you embraced her tightly and gratefully, not fully realising just how much you had missed her smile, her laugh, and – especially at that particular moment in time – her hugs.

“Oh my god, Hannah! I can’t believe it! I am so happy you’re here!” You declared sincerely as you pulled her tighter in to the hug.

You felt completely ashamed at the split-second of disappointment that had swept through you momentarily as you realised it was not Taehyung standing on the other side of the door. It was then that you knew for sure that trying to move on from him was going to be even harder than you had initially thought.

A/N Chapter 19 will be out same time next week! Only 4 more chapters to go! Thank you again for reading you sweethearts xxx

[jeonsdear]

It’s you - (IX)

↬ Parts:  I , II, III, IV, V , VI, VII, VIII, X, XI

↬ Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (oc: female)

↬ Genre: college!au, noona!reader, soulmate!au, fluff, angst, smut

↬ Rating: sfw

↬ Warnings: salvia (lol)

↬ Accompanying song:  HENRY 헨리 ‘It’s You’ (Live Ver.) (check out the                                    spotify version too!)

↬ Chapter Summary: 

Jungkook couldn’t help but to throw his friends a panicked look and his panic only grew as Yoongi’s face was plastered by a shit-eating grin.

“Y/n! We were just about to play a game in one of the rooms back there. Grab some bottles of beer, will you?“

↬ Notes: Hey! Here’s the 9h part. Hope you enjoy, loves. Also, have you seen the fake love comback stages? I’m shook. Goodbye wow. Also do the roman numbers confuse you or is it okay?  ♡ And please let me know what you think, that’s a great motivation for writing - and I love talking to you.  Likes and especially reblogs are always appreciated ♡     —  Read this part on AO3 if that’s easier for you —  English isn’t my first language so excuse any mistakes  —  I track jeonsdear fanfiction (follow the tag for updates)

↬ Word Count: 3.0 K

When you are not fed love on a silver spoon you learn to lick it off knives.

Starting your senior year at college you promised yourself to make the most of it. But after watching your best friend taking her boyfriend Jungkook for granted and your own soulmate drowning in despair, you find yourself caught in a web of lies and heartbreak. How can you believe in love when the one destined for you doesn’t want you?

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You could feel Jungkook’s glare from across the room. The tall boy leaning against the dark walls of Professor Lee’s office seemed to try burning holes into the side of your head. But you ignored his irritated huffs and instead focused on the insane plan Mr. Lee so enthusiastically rambled on about.

“You are going to dress up nicely. Mingle with the people and Mr. Jeon should use his charms for future connections. Miss y/s/n, you are a senior, everybody is going to expect you to set your foot properly into politics about now anyway.“

“And what about my charm?“

“What charm?“, piped up the annoyed voice from across the room. Your eyes shot daggers at Junkook, already deciding you wouldn’t share your favourite blanket with him tonight.

“Use your charm as well, Miss.“

“With all due respect, Professor. I don’t see how this is going to get us any kind of information about a possible soulmate archive.“

Ever since you had agreed to the old man’s plan, you knew why you were doing it. Essentially to protect Jungkook from his own stupidity. You still thought sneaking your way into politics would be no use.

“And I don’t understand why you involved Y/n in this, Professor.“

Mr. Lee let heaved a long sigh and rubbed the bridge of his nose that was decorated with the imprints of his round glasses.

“Because Miss y/s/n is a well-known figure in local politics already. “

“Don’t you think I should be involved when you decide to find out my soulmate’s identity?“

Crossing your arms over your chest you turned your body to Jungkook as he took two steps towards you.

“Besides, who gave you the right to dig into my business?“

Jungkook quite audibly growled at you and a guarded expression took over his face.

“The right of being your best friend. I have to live with your sorry ass every day. And just because you are not questioning the system doesn’t mean I don’t. “

“I didn’t force you to live with my sorry ass. You can move out anytime.“

Jungkook had the audacity to roll his eyes at you before he turned towards the old man who had watched the scene with interest while taking notes.

“She doesn’t even want to find out the truth. I’m sure we can find someone else with…connections.“

You stretched your arm to pinch the skin around his elbow.

“And who is supposed to protect you? You’re most likely going to get yourself evicted because of sticking your stupidly cute nose in business people get killed for.“

You didn’t expect his deep belly laugh and even Mr. Lee had his eyebrows raised at his student when he doubled over from laughing.

“Protecting me? You're a girl.“

The old man shot you an excusing look but you had had enough. You didn’t even fully understand his anger, but arguing with a sexist phrase wasn’t something you were willing to accept.

“Well, this girl is going to make sure you’re not drowning in an unfamiliar environment, and this girl is sleeping on the couch tonight.“

You grabbed the bag hanging over the rest of a very old velvety chair and threw it over your shoulder.

“I have a 5 thousand words essay to write, goodbye Professor Lee.“

The man only held up one of his hands and watched you storm out of his office.

The stupidity of men was visible in every generation, he mused as he watched his male student huff in annoyance.

At first he had tried to keep it a secret from Jungkook. The reason why he had brought you into the team at first didn’t seem too important and easy to disguise. But somewhere along the lines he had realized that his explanation of your presence had too many loopholes. So fearing his true attention with this project might be discovered, ruining all the work he had done so far, he had stuck with the surface truth of his motivations to bring you into the team.

And really, observing the two young people in a natural environment had proven to be extremely beneficial.

So with a small smile he stood up from the chair that was about to wreck his bad back forever, and motioned for Jungkook to leave.

“I know you have an evening class, Jungkook. You should go before you’re too late.“

And with a small bow Jungkook left.

 --

 It was quarter past 1 in the morning when you realized that you didn’t have to sleep on the sofa because Jungkook still hadn’t come home.

While a defeated sigh you shut off your laptop and rubbed your temples. You hadn’t meant what you said about sleeping on the sofa. Not only because you hadn’t had nightmares since sharing a bed with Jungkook, but because you adored falling asleep next to him. It just felt right. And you tried not to dwell on that too much.

But there was still Yeonseo, and as you stood up from the spot on the floor you had sat on you realized that that was where he probably was staying for the night.

You knew the coil in your stomach was jealousy. Not exclusively jealousy, but you had developed a certain kind of possessiveness towards your best friend. You had grown so close that it was only naturally to fear his loss.  And that was the threat his girlfriend embodied.

At least that was what you’ve been telling yourself.

Without thinking about it, you picked up your phone to check whether you had any messages from him.

You didn’t.

For a hot second you thought about calling him but you growled in frustration at your hideousness. You had no right to demand him to be home and you sure as well weren’t a baby who needed their stuffed animal to sleep.

Despite your affirmations you didn’t sleep that night.

 --

 Over the course of the next week a new kind of tension found its peak between you two.

Jungkook’s grunts filled the gym as he worked his already sore back muscles. But the burn in his muscles overshadowed the burn in his heart and the irritation coursing through his veins. Apparently his soulmate was in a similar mood to him, making the fire inside him ten times worse.

So he tried working it out. With heavy weights and sweat coating his entire body. A few days ago he had tried letting some steam off through rough sex, but somehow it had left him even more aggravated.

He was pissed at himself and he didn’t even know why. But he can’t get the hurt in your eyes out of his head when he came home in the morning after a night at his girlfriend’s.

God, he felt dirty. Dirty and frustrated.

So when his hyung’s had suggested going to that terrible frat party, he had jumped on the chance to get you off his mind.

He realized that that was a hopeless wish when he walked into the crowed livingroom full of drunk college students just to spy you sitting on his classmate's lap.

What the hell.

You were dressed in a short skirt paired with knee-high boots and a red blouse. You looked absolutely gorgeous, but that didn’t make that boy’s hands on your thigh acceptable.

Jimin followed Jungkook’s eyes and he grabbed his sleeve to keep him from storming away.

“Don’t.“

“Let go of me, Hyung.“

“So you can rip her off that dude’s lap? She’s been looking at you with daggers in her eyes the whole week. She’s going to kill you. What the hell have you done?“

Jungkook growled and ripped his arm from his friend’s hold.

“Nothing.“

He felt Yoongi’s hand on his shoulder and his deep voice filled his ear when he moved his head closer to his.

“You two have been dancing around each other for weeks now. Fuck it out.“

“Yoongi!“

Taehyung sounded absolutely horrified and Jungkook was sure his face showcased the same emotion.

“He isn’t wrong.“, Jimin chuckled as he shrugged his shoulders and caught your eyes from across the room. A smirk played on his lips as he watched you making your way towards him and his friends. Jungkook, oblivious to your approach, rolled his eyes and huffed.

“Don’t even dare think this, Yoongi.“

“Think what?“, your sweet voice peeped up and the boys all turned around.

Jungkook couldn’t help but to throw his friends a panicked look and his panic only grew as Yoongi’s face was plastered by a shit-eating grin.

“Y/n! We were just about to play a game in one of the rooms back there. Grab some bottles of beer, will you?“

You raised your eyebrows at the older boy before throwing Jungkook a questioning look when you saw him squirm.

“Uhm Hyung, what game?“

“The kissing game. Collect some of your friends as well.“

It was almost comically how both your’s and Jungkook’s eyes simultaneously widened in presentiment and Jimin had to keep from laughing when his friend’s hand automatically found yours and suddenly all the anger between you two was forgotten when your eyes met in mutual understanding.

Yoongi apparently picked up on his friend’s intentions as well and before anyone could run away he had you both pushing towards the room he had been talking about earlier.

You struggled against his hold but it was no use – 7 minutes later you were sat in a circle on the floor with Jungkook’s friend and some of yours. The girls were buzzing in the prospect of getting to kiss the boys and especially your friend Sunghee couldn’t keep her eyes off Seokjin. You watched as he winked at her and almost scoffed as she turned bright red. You elbowed him into the side before throwing him a warning glance, but he only smirked.

Jungkook sat across from you and you could feel his eyes on you. You knew exactly how this would end and so did he. So why were his eyes glistening with anticipation?

“What game exactly are we playing?“, one of the girls piped up while handing around the bottles of beer. You wrapped your fingers around the cold beverage but otherwise didn’t bother to open it.

“Too hot.“, Yoongi said. “Do you all know the rules?“

He was met with collective head shaking so he started to explain: “We will let a bottle decide the couples. This couple has to kiss without stopping or touching each other. The one who touches the other first, loses. The winner?“, he smirked before continuing, “gets to do whatever he wants to the loser and get’s to exit the game. If not, the winner gets to play against the other winners. Resulting in one person winning.“

Yoongi made sure everyone understood the rules before he chuckled mischievously and added “Make it as steamy as possible. This is about being the best kisser in this group.“

“Fuck, I hope I get Jungkook. I’ve heard he’s fun to kiss.“, a girl whispered and another one giggled.

“I might lose willingly if that means I can touch those abs.“

Your low growl shut them up and you were busy killing Yoongi in your imagination. You were positive you were about to win this game, knowing there wasn’t a single guy you’d really enjoy kissing beside Jungkook. And the universe couldn’t possibly be that cruel, right?

But then again, one of these girls would get to kiss him and the thought alone made you angry.

“But some of us aren’t single.“, you randomly threw into the conversation and all eyes laid on you as you were being a party bummer.

“She won’t mind.“, Jungkook’s voice cut in and his eyes were challenging when you frowned at him.

You really, really didn’t want him kissing anyone but you.

“Alright then let’s get started!“

Yoongi laid a bottle in the circle and looked up. “Let’s see who the first players are.“

 The bottle took four spins to land on you.

Your eyes were trained on the spinning bottle and the only noise came from Jimin who was distinctively murmuring Jungkook’s name. In the corner of your eyes you saw Yoongi leaning forward in anticipation and suddenly the room erupted in yells and laughter.

The universe, in fact, was cruel.

You didn’t even have to look up to know the bottle had landed on Jungkook but when you did, his eyes were widened in shock. Yoongi silenced the room as he smirked at you two before motioning to get it on.

“Are you gonna go through with it, Jungkookie?“

Taehyung’s words ripped him out of his thoughts and a certain kind of want took over his mind and body. Here was the truth: He wanted to kiss you. God, he had been dreaming about it for a while now. But when would he ever be able to get a taste without any consequences? This game was perfect to explore forbidden waters and he was planning on winning this one. He was damned if he didn’t manage to make you want him for once. But when he searched your eyes in consent he noticed the longing in them and his eyes dropped down to where you bit your lip.

“If y/n is okay with it.“, he said with a voice dropping lower in excitement.

You only nodded slowly before clearing your throat and sitting up upright, faking confidence.

“Sure.“, you said nonchalantly, but your emotions were running havoc. While you were dreading kissing Jungkook you were also longing to kiss him. And if his eyes were anything to go by, so did he.

You both looked around before shuffling towards each other while the others moved backwards to give you enough space.

You gulped as you felt Jungkook’s hand on your thighs pulling you closer to him, a light smile playing on his lips as he noticed how nervous you were. Then he placed his hands on either side of your legs, making sure he wasn’t touching you.

“Noona?“

He wet his lips with the tip of his tongue.

“Hm?“

“Have fun losing.“

The start of your protest was cut short when he moved his face close to yours and his dark doe eyes starred into yours. He was so close you could count his thick eyelashes and his breath fanned over your slightly opened lips. You gulped as Jungkook’s eyes fluttered shut and then you felt his plush lips brush gently over your own. Your eyes closed at the unfamiliar contact and your whole body shivered at the softness of his lips as he increased the pressure.

Since there was no time limit, Jungkook made sure to savour the moment of feeling your lips against his for the very first time. And he loved it. He loved it way too much. Your shaky breath had him moving again, placing another soft kiss against the swell of your lips before catching your lower lip between his teeth and slightly pulling at it. Then he caressed the abused lip with his tongue and suddenly you sprung into action, biting his lip and whispering his name before forcing his lips apart with your tongue.

The low whine that filled the room was unmistakenly male and both of you tilted your heads to deepen the kiss. What had started off as a careful and testing kiss, turned into a passionate one as your tongues battled for dominance. Your hands twitched at your sides, longing to bury themselves into his soft hair, but you wanted him to lose. You wanted him to moan. Just once you wanted him to moan your name, and not Yeonseo’s.

So you let go of your reservation and you kissed him how you had wanted to for a very long time. It wasn’t just lust but affection. And you wanted to him to feel it. But somewhere in that was also anger and the whole irritation you both had felt for the last week.

Your breaths were ragged and uneven as Jungkook leaned even closer to you. He felt like his head was swimming, he wanted to swallow you, taste you, mould together. A mewl escaped you as you pulled at his bottom lip, struggling with keeping your hands to yourself and your body flooded with heat as you finally heard his high-pitched moan.

Jungkook felt way too hot in his skin and it bordered on torture keeping his hands to himself. He wanted them all over your body. In your hair, on your waist, everywhere.

“Oh fuck.“, he murmured in realization and somewhere someone in the room laughed amused at the pained exclamation.

He didn’t stop kissing you. Even during his breathy moans and whispers, your lips kept on moving together and he could have sworn his heart was about to burst with all these emotions. He felt overwhelmed as if he could feel your emotions as well. He imagined he could feel the goosebumps on your skin as he sucked your tongue into his mouth, taking over the kiss. He didn’t want to stop kissing you, oh no, but he wanted to take this to somewhere else. With fewer eyes prying on you two.

And he was determined to win.

So he put all the dominance he had in his bones into the kiss and could feel you melt into him. And suddenly he felt your fingers in his hair and your body pressed against his and he was about to laugh in triumph when he realized that his hands were already grabbing your waist.

Coming up for air, you two starred at each other, slowly blinking away the daze and realizing that the only one chuckling was Yoongi. Jungkook couldn’t tear his eyes away from yours and just in that moment he realized what you two were doing here. But he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Neither of you could blame alcohol for the want in your eyes and you knew it. This wasn’t solely physical either, Jungkook realized, as your fingers drifted from his hair sidewards to caress his cheeks. The grip on your waist tightened as he almost purred under your caress, eyes fluttering shut before they bore down into yours once again.

“I guess you both lost.“, Yoongi teased with amusement latched in his voice as the air was pregnant with astonishment.

“No, Hyung, I think both won.“

Complications.

You have won tons more of complications.

[lutiaskokopelli]

What would you think if of a fanfic AU were Dipper permanently got transformed into a Dream Demon and Bill was still a Dream Demon?

I remember having read one a few years back, if you’re interested – it was an alternate take on the Transcendence AU in which the Transcendence didn’t occur quite the same way and in which Bill didn’t die in the process. It wasn’t the Greatest Fanfic Ever, but I remember it was completed around 2015/2016. The ending was bittersweet in my opinion, but it’s the norm for what could be considered a happy ending regarding the Transcendence AU in general I guess.Sorry though, but I couldn’t find it D: I only remember that it was on fanfiction.net about three years ago. I guess I’ll reblog the link if I find it.

To be honest, I’ve never really been a fan of turning Dipper into a demon permanently just for the sake of it (it’s an endless source of angst for practically every character in the show, and although I can appreciate angst to some extent I prefer when you don’t completely destroy the characters’ and my own feelings), and I’m even less of a fan of having Bill being seen too often while he’s still a demon – because in the case of Bill, he’s always acting from the shadows and only ever appears to his pawns, that is until Weirdmageddon starts. If he starts appearing more often, it must have a reason related to his plans – or, in the case of my comic, he simply isn’t given a choice and all his powers are removed, haha 8D

I have appreciated fanfics in which Dipper got turned into a demon, but usually the best part was never Dipper being a demon, ironically. In fact, all this theory that “Dipper will start acting more like a demon due to having demon instincts” or whatever is what irks me the most about the concept. It’s a cool theory on the paper, but when you apply it to characters… You destroy these characters’ strength – in this specific case, you destroy both Bill’s and Dipper’s characters, and even to some extent the character of all the henchmaniacs (although in their case, admittedly, there’s not much to work on to begin with). This concept just gives some sort of explanation/”justification” to Bill’s actions that just… don’t fit with his character for starters, and don’t fit with his motives either. So welp. You do what you want, that’s only my opinion after all.

Then again, I’ll just say that I usually try not to judge too much a story simply following its synopsis. I’m a huge fan of stories in which things get so hilariously weird, the characters just don’t know what to do anymore, and yet again get to have realistic responses to all that very unrealistic scenario. I love these stories because everybody is forced out of their comfortable zone, including the readers themselves, and practically anything can happen – new characters that have never met in the show get forced to interact or even team up in order to face the new change, some original relationships get to expand, others are (sadly) never made, and so on. Good things and bad things can happen all the same, depending on how you manage the change you introduced.

So, if you want me to like a story? Surprise me. Even if it’s a basic scenario that’s already been made dozens of times, write/draw it in such a way, it’ll appear to be something completely new because you’re taking it a step further, you’re showing even more consequences on even more characters, you’re writing the plot differently, and so on.

But please don’t completely crush my soul either because I want my happy ending :(

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @green-eyeddragonfanfiction for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about her, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

Around 20, I think.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

Reader inserts, definitely. I don’t mind throwing OC’s in there if I need to, though. I really like reading reader inserts. I think it’s really fun and engaging to imagine yourself in a story.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Super Heroes! Although I really adore fantasy. If I were to write a book, it would be fantasy.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

I’m… not sure. I s'pose it’d have to be One Mistake, simply because I think it’s worst piece.

5) When is your preferred time to write?

Whenever I actually find the motivation to write, which usually ends up being around 1-4 am. Aka I’m a Mess: Part 1

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Have you seen this man?

I suppose I also draw inspiration from comics, movies, TV shows, and video games where applicable.

7) In your Winter’s War Series, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

Out of the entire trilogy? Dang, that’s tough. Maybe in Ghosts of War when Bucky, Reader, and Nat are sitting together, sort of like some messed up little family? If not that, then it’s probably in Winter’s War when Reader, Steve, and Bucky reunite after the Azzano goes up in flames.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

I don’t think I’ve ever received “criticism.” I’ve received very polite corrections of some of the German in WW from some native speakers, but that’s about it (I haven’t corrected any of it yet because I’m a lazy pos).

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

Bucky Barnes. Because he’s Bucky Barnes.

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

I don’t really write characters that I don’t like. Even villains are fun to write, even if I hate them. If I had to choose, I guess it’d be Ashley Williams, from the Mass Effect series. I’ve only written her once, but she’s a damned space racist and I hate her, even if I didn’t hate writing her.

11) How did you come up with the title for the Winter’s War Series?

Winter’s War was named with the final scene of the first book in mind, as well as what reader and Bucky would be turned into for the second book; Winter Soldier(s), and the war that led them to being created. And because they “die” in the snow and ice. Ghosts of War because that’s what Reader and Bucky are in the second book. Ghosts. Shells of themselves. War torn and weary. Weapons. War of Attrition because, in the third book, they fight tooth and nail for every scrap of memory, personality, humanity, and they don’t always win. They’re going to hit a lot of roadblocks, mostly in the form of other humans, their past and their guilt, and sometimes each other.

12) How did you come up with the idea for Winter’s War Series?

I always liked the thought of a Bucky x Reader series where they both ended up as Winter Soldiers. Everything kind of grew from that. It follows very closely to the canon, so everything was trying to figure out the most believable way to weave a reader character into the existing story.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

“Abandoned” is a strong word…. *stares guiltily at The Way I Do and Two of a Kind.* I just haven’t found the inspiration to write them recently, but I do plan on finishing them… eventually.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I plan on doing a second part for A Night to Remember when October rolls around. I also plan on adding more monster!Bucky’s to The Monster Series. My other series are complete or in progress and I don’t plan to add more to them (except to finish them in the case of the WIPs).

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

I don’t think so, no.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

@angryschnauzer​ writes absolutely divine smut. I absolutely hate writing smut, so I wish I had her skills. There are others, but she’s the first one that came to mind. If I listed out every single author on here that I admire and why I admire them, we’d be here for another ten paragraphs!

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

I only started writing back in August. Anything written before that’s been lost to the Great Laptop Death of 2017. So, luckily, most of my writing is relatively recent and cringe-free.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

I prefer listening to music (I love loud music and hate silence), but it’s distracting. My brain sometimes can’t process correctly so it tries to write the words I’m hearing instead of what I actually want to write. RIP me and my stupid brain. Aka I’m a Hot Mess: Part 2.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Haha. No. I’m dead inside. I very rarely (if ever) cry when reading, too.

20) Which part of your Winter’s War Series was the hardest to write?

Oh god the entire Agents of SHIELD part of War of Attrition. That show is so dense and woven so intricately into the MCU that it was difficult as hell to figure out where to put the reader so that it’d be relevant and set up for the next parts of the story. I love that show, but it was so hard *sobbing*.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I almost never make outlines. WoA has been the exception because, as stated above, the content was way denser and I needed a clear path to be able to write them from point A to point B. That being said, I’ve only gotten as far as just after AoU. I haven’t decided what to do with Civil War or Infinity War yet.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?

A) How Tumblr worked and B) that it’s a terrible, terrible site with horrible coding that, if it were a person, I would shoot as a mercy. Other than that, I read a lot of fics on here before I started posting some myself, which meant I had a pretty good idea of how to format it to be reader-friendly. Still had to google a lot of stuff, though.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Hmmm. I’m lucky in that I think I have a lot of readers/followers who leave lots of likes/comments/reblogs, but if I had to choose one? I think it’d be my recent Steve x Reader fic, Promise.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Oh god. Again, I’m grateful for every like, comment, and reblog I get, but By Chance. It’s by far my most popular one shot at a staggering 1,925 notes. I like the a/b/o verse, but I posted it pretty early on in my writing career and it skyrocketed which completely blindsided me. The same thing kinda happened with Dumped, Drunk, and Angry. I wrote a one shot in a day or two because inspiration hit me like a freight train, and somehow they’re both over a thousand notes now.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

I s'pose Reader is always based off of me, just a little bit? Every other character (except the rare OC) has an established personality, but if I made reader a completely faceless, bland being it wouldn’t be that fun to read, would it? So even though I’m always careful to never describe reader too much physically, s/he always ends up with at least some of my personality.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Oh goodness, I don’t know. My readers are amazingly kind people. I get a lot of asks and comments saying very, very nice things all the time. I don’t think I could choose just one if I tried..

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I was told very politely I spelled some German words wrong/used the wrong German words.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I word vomit on my real life friend sometimes if I’m really stuck. It’s not always super useful because she doesn’t follow/watch any MCU stuff. Mostly, ideas just bounce around in my head until one sticks.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

Yeah, most of my real life friends know. The friend I mentioned above writes fanfic, just not for the MCU. The rest are big nerds, too, so they don’t judge me.

30) What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?

I loved writing Ran Shen and Mila Hitzvig for The Bitter March arc in Ghosts of War. As far as OC’s go, Dean from my series Time is probably my favorite.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Interest in the source material has a lot to do with it. For example, I was writing easily 4k+ words a day when I was writing about the events of Captain America: the Winter Soldier. Other than that, I wait for the urge to hit me… which sometimes means I don’t write for a few days and sometimes a week depending on what’s happening in real life.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

So far? Soulmate. A/B/O was also fun and I’ll probably write it again at some point.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Oh jesus, no. I have the worst memory ever. I’m lucky if I can remember things a week ago, much less years ago.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Uhh… Not smut, I know that much. But I have this bad habit where I can’t write fluff without some angst and vice versa? I don’t think I could deal with writing cotton candy fluff for the rest of my life, though. So…. angst, I guess? But I wouldn’t be happy about it.

[feroluce]

first 10 fan fic writing questions!

1. things that inspire you

To be honest, mostly other people’s work! Art is really good, but fics always give me tons of ideas. I’m intending to go back and edit the notes of some of my fics to give specific credit. A lot of it comes from the music I listen to, too! The Used is especially good for this, but lately it’s been The Offspring.

2. things that motivate you

FEEDBACK. I love getting comments and reblogs with tags. They’re my lifeblood. I’ve gotten two pieces of fanart for my fics before and have even had people call me an inspiration! It makes my heart swell.

3. name three favorite writers

In no particular order (and not limited to just three, I couldn’t pick!)… PepperHeights/ @paperclipmuseum, ruthwrites/ @ruemilly, Ravenesta/ @subcorax, EventualGhost/ @shcherbatskayas, Maripo/ @spoonie-ritsu, and inspectorwired/ @inspectorwired are some of my favorites!

4. name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why

The most influential has definitely been Cannelia/ @hydrachea, I can drop a totally random thought (which will lead to a full on flow chart of other random thoughts) into her DMs and she’ll let me chatter at her in big long run-on sentences until I run myself out of steam. It’s incredibly helpful and she’s a wealth of passion and fluff and good headcanons.

I know it’s in comic form and not fics, but @sandflakedraws is…such a good inspiration for angst. I just adore their Attic AU.

And the Haunted House series by reiqenarataka makes me want to write horror, it’s so good! I love the idea of that kind of creepy, personal hell type horror and I want to do things more like that for my future gore…

5. since how long do you write?

Since May, 2017! …Oh, holy shit, that was almost a full year ago. Wild.

6. how did writing change you?

I’ve definitely gained more of an appreciation for how much fanartists/writers go through. I am even more determined now to support them through things like reblogs and comments and stuff! Writing has also given me a boost to talk to more people and it even made me some friends here! It’s pretty nice.

7. early influences on your writing

I remember as a kid I fell in love with bittersweet endings. I read a manga called Chrono Crusade by Daisuke Moriyama and a short story called Bite-Me-Not or, Fleur de Fur (which is where my username comes from!) by Tanith Lee. And I love that kind of thing, not perfect, not completely OK, but good enough. It’s enough.

8. what time are you most productive?

Trick question, I’m never very productive. I work overnights, so I’m usually at my most awake and energetic at about 2-3 AM. I always have a bit of a boost after I get out of the house and do something with my family for the weekend, too.

9. do you set yourself deadlines?

I used to, back when I was writing much shorter chapters for Now We Match. I’ve pretty much given up on that now, though, haha. The only exceptions now are for events (I’m hoping to have stuff ready in advance for @shouritshou‘s Ritshou Summer Week this time!).

10. how do you do your researches?

I’m not gonna lie…it’s mostly just a quick google search. If it’s something that’s not easily found, I’ll probably just not make it a prominent part of the story. I have the Wiki Page about flower meanings saved to my phone for My Flowers Were For You haha.

[stray-tori]

4, 15, and 23 (i was going to ask more but i didn't wanna overdo it and since you sent three to me, i figured i should do the same! i love you!)

me: reblogs asks also me: has nothing interesting to say

___________________

4. Where did you get your inspiration from?

I love that it says “did” because it implies people don’t have inspiration anymore haha--

Hmmm. I know that’s not really the way it’s supposed to be but I think I get most inspiration from either other works or just... other creations in general, like video essays or just... hyper fixating on one line and then thinking about the implications for 4 hours at like 6 a.m. and then writing a very questionable AU about it. Purely theoretically.

I definitely can’t cite real life as an inspiration because literally nothing is happening to me, but I think I’d still count interaction with others? Bouncing stuff off of others. I’m not the best... at having ideas, whatsoever (neither coming up with them nor making them fit into a coherent narrative for longer-form projects), so I’m always thankful for people sharing theirs with me and letting me lowkey steal them, even if they just start out as a joke / stay a joke.

Which is probably also why I tend to yknow, make fanart and not original art and why I often draw fic art.

15. What made you start to write fanfiction/stories?

I think I did it for a long time, even when I was tinyTM, but back then it was just... inspired by those horse fan merchandise we got monthly and there were always books and I liked one of them for the drama and so I tried to copy that and replicate it. Even in my origins, I’m nothing but a copycat haha-

Anyway, I think my first fic-heavy fandom was because I wanted more content or different content of something, usually a ship. I don’t think that has changed to this day. I never really care for the actual romantic ships enough to create content for them. I think that’s partly because if something is romance, there’s USUALLY already romance in the thing?

I also like a very melodramatic type of angst and pain that’s often not plausible, smart storytelling or common in the media itself, so I will SLAM it onto everyone I love. Blinding people, impaling, death (oh. so much DEATH scenes), all that stuff. I like the aspect of fanfics/fandom that allowes you to write so many different outcomes and versions of something (you can kill someone and still get your fixture of fluff in another AU/fic/whatever). With me trying (and miserably failing) to create something original, I kind of miss that freedom. Having a base and kind of doing whatever with it. It’s not impossible, of course, to do that with original work, but I think it largely undermines your vision if you have 10 versions of it.

Though, as you all know, I’m not very good at sticking to canon in long-form projects, which I think is partly due to me, again, not being very good at stories overall and so I don’t feel like I’m “fit” to insert something into something I already love the way it is. Even if I WANTED to change something, or make a “serious” in-universe divergence, I usually question if it’s actually better the way I’m imagining it (like if I insert this instead, it would ruin something later / it’s not patient enough / etc.) and usually cripple in front of the huge ambitions. For concrete examples, I just did a post about JJK earlier regarding this and also with “Welcome to the Love Café” I felt similar. I thought about doing a divergence where a consequence that was implied actually gets carried through, but I just didn’t... feel as if that would actually lead to a satisfying ending or improve anything long-term, aside from giving me fixture of angst.

So... I guess in summary, angst and indulgence, mostly. I’d LIKE to do more divergences/fixes/canon-ish AUs but I’m not really that good at it or handling them seriously.

This sounds more like a general motivation, more than what started it BUT LET’S NOT WORRY ABOUT THAT.

23. Most memorable review/comment on a fic?

For a moment, I just sat here, thinking “huh... I don’t... think there is any”. And then I went to check my ao3 because I was honestly startled. I really appreciated the comments on the A/B/O au that pointed out some universe-building stuff I came up with though! Hearing them think of those half-baked ideas that way made me happy.

Also the comments on the early Until Death chapters are so nice, there were quite a few long, reactive ones by Amy and a certain girlfriend.

I will say I ACTUALLY remember someone’s comment on one of my nsfw-isher comics/works. I wish it could have been for something different, but they went on about a lot of things in general about my art (how far I’ve come, that I portray the characters nicely and they can read it in their voices - which is really the highest form of praise to someone who constantly thinks their AUs don’t have any point and are OOC), and I just remember that it made me cry on one of my “numb” days. So I remember that fondly.

In general, I guess I should be more thankful for the comments I get, but I remember those about my art more clearly udkhsdj

[thesundaymorningpost]

The Sunday Morning Post

September 3, 2017                                                          10th Edition

Current News:

Yuri on Ice: ShitBang

On August 31st, if you love Yuri on Ice, your feed may have blown up with stories and artwork created as a means for writers and artists to come together and work on a project together.

What is the Shit Bang you ask? It is an amazing event for writers and artists to come together and write and draw about the amazing anime we all love: Yuri!!! On Ice! But a little more than that this is a direct - non-hateful - response to THAT blog. You know the one I’m talking about. Yup. THAT one. - @yoi-shit-bang

The amount of stories and artwork has been astounding. From one-shots, to multi-chapters, all written by amazing authors. Then there is all the amazing artwork that has come with it, by some amazing and very talented artists.

Please keep in mind that many subjects may trigger, please read all tags before reading a story. 

Story Recommendation: we have loved the stars too fondly by @thehandsingsweapon

“We live in a blue planet that circles around a ball of fire next to a moon that moves the sea, and you don’t believe in miracles?”

After an academic career at MIT and Oxford, Yuuri Katsuki eschews job offers at places like NASA and CERN to go work at the Very Large Array in what Phichit Chulanont lovingly calls The Actual Middle of Nowhere, New Mexico, monitoring radio frequencies from light-years away. He's loved the stars for as long as he can remember, and the universe feels so big sometimes that Yuuri is sure it would be a cruel mistake for humans to be all alone.

Enter the latest scientist to join the staff of the VLA, enigmatic Russian genius Victor Nikiforov, around whom Yuuri’s entire universe seems to bend to make room, and the strange, recurring dreams Yuuri keeps having, where something like love carries him across the stars.

Does love travel faster than light? Do souls?

“The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself.”

"Yuri, on Stars!!   This lovely short story will resonate with anyone that lives the heavens.  Dreamscapes thought to be a figment of Yuuri's imagination turn out to be a more real than tangible science, and Viktor is patient with all his insecurities.  With just the right amount of angst to give it depth, this vignette will take you into the endless cosmos!" - @darkrivertempest

Artist Spotlight:

we have loved the stars too fondly by @shadhahvar

Comic:

Good boy by @floccinaucinihilipilificationa  (Click title to reblog)

Support: 

This week’s Ko-Fi shout-out goes to Discoursemoth | @lowercasewrites  (Click to buy coffee)

im sei! im a non-passing trans boy with unsupportive parents, and im using this account primarily to pay for things that could help me pass better, such as a packer and binder. you obviously dont have to donate but i would really appreciate it!                                

Patreon: YukiPri | @yukipri  (Click name to become a patreon)

Hey there!! Thanks so much for visiting my Patreon. I'm Kazu, also YukiPri on Tumblr. I'm currently a freelance translator and illustrator who is HOPING to support myself primarily through art. My passion is telling my own unique stories through visual media, and I love world-building, costume design, and overall extensively over-thinking all of my stories. This patreon is a step towards hopefully better sustaining myself off of art so I can continue to grow as a professional artist and produce content that you can enjoy! I am unbelievably grateful to every patron who helps me continue to do what I love doing. My wish is for the majority of my work to remain public, but I also desperately need to support myself, and also have a variety of content that I'm not comfortable posting publicly for various reasons. As thanks for your support, my patrons will get access to exclusive content, including WIPs/sketches, previews, art progress/tutorials, higher resolution art, early access, and nsfw content!

Fun and Games:

10 Questions Every Fic Writer Secretly Wants to be Asked by @wyseink  (Click Title to reblog)

There are a lot of fic questions that float around online, but rarely do they ever ask specific questions about the fics themselves. Ask any writer one or more of these ten questions to learn more about the fic and show support.

1. Of the fics you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

2. Which scene was your favorite to write in [title of fic]?

3. Which part of [title] was hardest to write?

4. If you could change anything in [title], what would it be?

5. Did you make an outline for [title]? Did you stick to it?

6. Which scenes did you cut, and which were added in [title]?

7. Who was your favorite character to write in [title]?

8. Which came first, the title or the fic?

9. Which idea came to you first in [title]?

10. What are some facts readers may not know about [title]?

Story Prompt:

Monochrome by @diamondwinters An AU where people who are sad, down, depressed cannot hide it. Whenever you get sad, you start to loose your color. Your skin turns pale, your eyes loose their color, and turn gray or white, and your hair turns gray. Like an old black and white tv show, you loose all your color when you’re very sad. A little bit of sadness might dim your natural colors, but you wouldn’t loose them. It’s during a time when you feel heart broken, or very depressed that you go Monochrome. Such as a big break up, a death of a loved one, deep depression, etc. Monochrome is the medical term used by the doctors in this AU to describe turning gray in a world of color.

Some people who are unable to get happy, may use make-up, contacts, and hair color to hide the fact that they’re depressed, but eventually even those things will loose their color and will need to be replaced.

The best thing to do is to find your happiness. Be with friends, and family who can help you bring your color back. The brighter you are, the more vivid your colors are, the happier you are.

Art Prompt:

Imagine your OTP by @bumble-beany

Person A: Are you awake?                                         

Person B: I am now                                         

Person A: I was just wondering...                                         

Person A: What do you think it'd be like to be a pregnant male seahorse?

Person B: Really?! You woke me up for that?

W.I.P. Motivation:

Liquor Stash by @severeminx​

I want him.

When the full realization hit him, Yuri felt as though he couldn’t breathe. Detached and fleeting thoughts that had passed through his mind finally took shape in these three words at that exact moment. The I being himself, Yuri Plisetsky, age 17, a Russian figure skater with a list of impressive accomplishments to his name that seemed pretty pointless right now given the context. The want being desire, the need to bury himself, the thought to consume, but never actually act out except behind locked doors in empty beds or shower stalls. The him being the person standing across from Yuri sipping coffee from a take-away cup with creased brows, the low sunlight hitting his face just so to light up his otherwise dark eyes. Someone he considered to be his best friend, who came all the way from Almaty just to spend a week with him and who was blissfully unaware of the fucking turmoil Yuri was feeling in the pit of his stomach. Or at least, Yuri hoped he was unaware.

In which Yuri Plisetsky invites Otabek Altin over to stay with him in Saint Petersburg, freaks out over his feelings and delves into Lilia's liquor stash.

Please go read and support this artist. They are looking for kudos and comments to get them back into finishing this fantastic story!

Fandom Week:  (Click each line to go to blog)

Zarkon Week! September 3rd - 9th.

Yuri on Ice Music Week! September 4th - 11th

NSFW Yuri Plisetsky Week! September 11th - 17th.

Guang-Hong Week! Voting will be Sept 15th - 21st

SeungChuchu Week! October 16th - 23rd.

Help Wanted:

Needed: Tumblr theme editor. Please contact Diamond Winters for details.

Story recommendations!! If you find a story that you absolutely love, and you want to see it get some recognition, please submit a link to it with a 2-3 sentence review of the story. This way it could get in the spotlight in a future edition of the SMP. Requirements are that it’s completed, or a one-shot.

Artist Spotlight!! If you find a piece of artwork that needs more love, please submit a link to it so it may be considered for future spotlights in the future.

WIP Motivation: Please send your support to these writers or artist to encourage them to continue their story or artwork. No good story or piece of art should be left unfinished. - If you know of a good story that hasn’t been updated in a while, and would like to offer encouragement to the author, please let me know, so that I can link to their story here.

If there is ever any section of the Sunday Morning Post that you feel you can contribute too, please send an Ask or Submit to either the SMP, or @d2diamond so that it has a chance at making in a future post. Thank you!  

@yoi-shit-bang | @thehandsingsweapon | @darkrivertempest | @shadhahvar | @floccinaucinihilipilificationa | @lowercasewrites | @yukipri | @wyseink | @diamondwinters | @bumble-beany | @severeminx